#and let me know if you want me to go into more detail about any of these ajksdlkjadsk i am always always happy to ramble

[dollieseo]

TELL ME THAT YOU LOVE ME AGAIN.

SYNOPSIS. you unintentionally became close to ning yizhuo as trainees. she made it into aespa, you didn’t. after you left sm and debuted with le sserafim, the desire to reconnect is heavy, but it’s not as easy as it sounds.

FEATURING. ningning x le sserafim 6th member reader

WARNINGS. none, maybe a little angsty tho idk

AUTHORS NOTE. first fic hello!! inspired by this song

WORD COUNT. 2.4k

you came to sm entertainment with the sole purpose of becoming an idol. it’s all you’ve ever wanted since you were eight years old. it wasn’t to make friends or build relationships; you wanted to work.

you kept to yourself during your trainee period, never really getting close to anyone. the trainee system was a twisted game and one small mistake could get you sent home. you’ve seen it happen with other trainees who were friends. one would be let go and the other left without their other half. you didn’t want any of that to get in the way of your goal.

ning yizhuo joined the company a year after you did. she was young, only a year younger than you. you remember the first time you officially met her in the practice room, which was completely by accident by the way.

as you walked through the company halls, going to your reserved practice time, you could faintly hear music playing from the practice room, which you found odd. you decided to slowly crack the door open to peek through and saw the younger girl practicing the choreography to into the new world. you know that she was new, maybe two weeks in? it makes sense that she wouldn’t know about your routine. you debated on just leaving and finding a different room, but decide against it.

as soon and you fully entered the practice room she seemed to take notice, jumping in surprise and instantly turning to greet you. you watched as she rushed to turn the music off, it was a little comedic. she hesitantly walked towards you, not really knowing what to say. you could sense the confusion on her face.

“this is my usual rehearsal time here,” you begin, and before yizhuo can spew out apologies, you continue, “it’s okay, you didn’t know.”

“i’m sorry, i can leave,” she managed, looking down at the floor. you feel a little bad, figuring she was probably embarrassed. you sigh, “no, it’s okay,”

‘what the fuck are you doing?’

“you’re practicing into the new world, right?”

she nods.

“we can practice together.” you decide. her face lights up, eyes gleaming, but you instantly regret you words. normally, you prefer practicing alone and being the only person to see the process of fixing your flaws and improving. but going by her reaction she probably wouldn’t think to judge you on anything.

“really?” she asks and you nod, walking towards the speaker to turn the music back on. “come on.”

you and yizhuo spend the next few hours practicing (more like you spend most of the time practicing while she stands there watching, admiring your movements). you were a dancer long before you joined sm, so you ended up helping her with the choreography after seeing her struggle, giving her tips and pointers to help her improve. you thought it was cute how intensely she took in your every word, mentally taking note of every detail you told her.

since that day she insisted on sticking with you. as much as you internally protested, you didn’t do much to keep her away. how could you? she was, what, barely 14? and she was new to the industry. even though you were only a year older than her, you didn’t have the heart to leave her on her own.

the two of you grew close unexpectedly fast, practicing together whenever you didn’t have individual lessons, spending hours in the practice room sometimes not even doing anything, just sitting against the mirrors and having random conversations that ended with both of you in tears from laughing so hard. as time went on, it became relatively known around the company that the two of you were a duo, not one left without the other.

as much as you like yizhuo, or ningning as she would be called after being introduced as an sm rookie, you always curse yourself thinking back to your previous views on building relationships as a trainee. you still have that opinion, but even as the two of you grew up you can’t bring yourself to stay away from her. you don’t want to.

after about four years together, the time came for sm’s newest girl group to be officially formed. for the last few months the company played with lineup, adding and removing girls almost every few weeks. you and ningning were apart of the group of girls considered for the final lineup, along with yu jimin and kim minjeong.

after what felt like an eternity of uncertainty, the company finally announced who would be in the final lineup. many were sure that you would be included, being an sm rookie who ranked highly at monthly evaluations. you were confident too.

however, while you all were practicing, a staff member brought in another girl and asked you to come out. you recognized her as uchinaga aeri, who only joined the company a few months ago. you looked around skeptically, but followed the staff member out of the room and into the hallway.

honestly, you can’t really recall everything that was said to you. all you remember is something along the lines of your removal and the world falling silent. everything stopped in that moment and you wondered if you were dreaming. you didn’t want to believe it but the somber look on the staff’s face solidified it for you.

you didn’t make it.

that day, you left practice early. yizhuo, along with jimin, minjeong, and aeri had to stay later to practice for their debut. before you left, you stopped to give yizhuo a hug, reassuring and congratulating her. you could tell that she was having mixed emotions. she was happy to debut but she wanted to do it with you. though her face was buried into your shoulder, you heard her mutter a ‘i’ll see you later,’ before letting go.

she didn’t expect to see your side of the room empty when she came back to the dorms that night. all of your belongings; polaroids on the wall, your comforter that she preferred sleeping on more than her own, everything you had was gone. and you didn’t even tell her.

you joined source music about two years later, being added to their debut team almost instantly along with two former iz*one members, sakura and chaewon, and huh yunjin, who you recognized from produce 48 and swore you’ve seen around the sm building a few times. kazuha and eunchae joined not too long after you did, and at first you were a bit threatened by their addition. you feared that they were your replacements and that it’d only be a matter of time before you’d be cut from the group.

however, the six of you worked amazingly together, and after getting over the initial doubt, got along great. you all had that balance of being genuine friends and colleagues. you finally felt like things were going your way.

the success of le sserafim’s debut was massive, some mixed reviews about the title track, but the album sold well and you guys got a few music show wins, which you never would’ve imagined for your debut.

as time went on, your career only went up. you attended award shows, held concerts, had fans. you were living your dream, and although you never expected it to be with these girls, you were happy nonetheless.

you thought about ningning a lot. it was hard not to, now that you were an idol. le sserafim and aespa were always in the same conversation when it came to top 4th generation girl groups. you felt indifferent about it. you wanted to move on from the past, but you were also glad that both of you were able to achieve your dreams, even if it wasn’t together.

you don’t get many days off being in the prime of your career, which you’ve always expected. today though, as comeback promotions for unforgiven came to an end, you hoped to spend today laying in bed and watching netflix, allowing your body to reset from such a hectic schedule.

keyword: hoped.

the sound of your phone ringing makes you dramatically groan. silently hoping it wasn’t anyone important you glance at your phone to see an unsaved phone number. normally, you’re told not to answer calls from unknown numbers, the main reason being that it’ll most likely be a sasaeng. but you recognize this number, even though it isn’t saved in your phone.

“hello?”

“unnie.”

you’ve played a thousand different scenarios in your head, thinking of what to say in any situation where you would see yizhuo again. yet when that time finally came, all of your hypotheticals went completely out the window. you didn’t think her calling you would be that first interaction in three years.

“how’d you get my number?” is what you decide to say. you changed your number after leaving sm, but you still remembered hers.

“minjeong unnie gave it to me,” she answered. you internally curse, figuring she got your number from chaewon. it’s not like you’re mad or upset that she called, you just weren’t expecting it nor were you prepared for it.

“can you come over to the dorms? i wanna talk to you.” yizhuo asks.

“we’re talking right now,” you play dumb. again, you’re not prepared for this.

“i mean in person, unnie.”

you think about giving her the excuse of being busy, you should give her that excuse. but you don’t know when you’ll both be free to talk again. you want to take that opportunity.

“okay,” you decide.

your arrival to aespa’s dorm surprises all of the members. jimin, who answers the door, instantly wraps you in a hug and aeri and minjeong, who were sitting on the couch jump up to do the same the moment they see you.

you tell them that yizhuo invited you over and jimin lets you know that she’s in their room. you thank her and head over, giving the cracked door two light knocks before fully opening it.

you’ve seen her around and on tv this past year so it wasn’t like you really haven’t seen her in three years, but your breath still hitches when you lay eyes on her. when she sees you, she smiles widely. it reminds you of when you two were trainees.

“you came!”

you snorted, “did you think i wasn’t?” you gently close the door behind you before crossing your arms and slowly walking towards her bed where she was sitting.

“you could’ve,” she shrugs. “considering you left without telling me, you could’ve not come and not told me.”

you sigh and sit down next to her. “i’m sorry.”

that day, and the many days following, hurt. it hurt you to feel like you spent so much time working hard just to fail. you didn’t think it would hurt yizhuo nearly as much. you didn’t think about how much she missed you or how long she spent crying after realizing you had left.

the room falls silent, both of you unsure of what else to say to each other. there’s a million things you two could talk about but neither of you do, afraid of rehashing more bad memories. instead you make yourself comfortable and lie back, resting you hand on your stomach. yizhuo does the same and the silence becomes comfortable, both of you cherishing this moment; being together again.

“i was in love with you, you know.” you decide to casually let out, hiding the nervousness in your voice. you’re scared of how she’ll respond. she could laugh in your face, or just straight up reject you, even though you weren’t exactly confessing, and make things awkward again.

but yizhuo does the opposite of what you were expecting.

“you were?” she suddenly sits up and locks eyes with you. you think she looks like a doll with her eyes wide and her mouth slightly agape. you take a moment to admire her while she takes that moment to fully comprehend what you said. her mouth closes and her eyes furrow at her realization. “was,” she repeats, tilting her head. “you’re not anymore?” her voice goes quiet, as if she’s scared to ask. maybe she was, but why?

“not really,” you glance at her before looking back towards the ceiling. you don’t want to see her reaction, though you can feel her entire body deject into the bed and hear her mumble a small ‘oh’.

“why not?”

“hm?”

“why don’t you love me anymore?”

“i don’t know if you noticed, yizhuo, but i’ve been avoiding you since you debuted. kinda hard to keep feelings for someone you don’t see anymore.” it seems harsh but you hope your light hearted tone doesn’t make it sound that way.

“you didn’t have to avoid me. i would still been your friend─”

“it wasn’t about you,” you interrupt, sighing before finally sitting up to fully face her. “i was pissed and jealous and seeing you on tv would’ve only made me hate you. i don’t want to hate you.”

even after you debuted in le sserafim you tried to avoid her, and all of aespa for that matter. it was nothing against the girls but you couldn’t help the bitterness that filled you when you thought about the fact that you didn’t make the lineup.

you figured she’d have more to say after you revealed the truth, but nothing came out of her mouth. you could only read the disappointment on her face.

“what, were you expecting something different?” you ask after a long period of uncomfortable silence.

“i was hoping you’d say that you still love me,” she reveals, opting to look at her hands placed in her lap rather than at you.

“why?” you already know the answer. you just want to hear her say it.

“because i loved you,” she pauses, “and i never stopped.”

oh.

you should’ve known that something like this would happen, and maybe you did. maybe there was a rational part of your brain screaming at you not to go see her and you just didn’t listen. maybe deep down you still loved her, but the fear of losing again repressed that love. yizhuo or your career? you don’t know. the idol industry is a twisted game where one small mistake could cost you your entire career and if you have to lose one, you figure that losing the chance of loving her is better than losing the career you both worked years for.

“i’m sorry, yizhuo.” you whisper. it’s all you can muster up to say. you tell yourself that it’s better this way. sure, she’s hurt now but she’ll get over it. just like you did, or at least pretended to.

[i-hate-peas]

The Old Guard Fic Recs

So I've been a long time lurker within the fandom without ever getting particularly involved, but I wanted to show some appreciation for some of the super talented people who go here, because I have read a lot of incredible TOG fic.

Most (probably all) of these authors have loads of other amazing fics, but I've tried to just chose one from each, to keep the list a vaguely reasonable length. Although then I cheated and did some honourable mentions.

** just a note to say I started this list year (s) ago and forgot about it until literally today when I saw fic recs going round. Any of these fics I haven’t put a description for it’s because I didn’t do it at the time, and if I go back to reread them all this would never be posted, not through any lack of affection or enjoyment **

If any writers want tagging/ untagging etc please let me know! (i knew/ could find some blogs more easily than others lol)

Within Canon

Old Olives by aeli_kindara

Garden of Gethsemane mention = instant tears

Death in Her Hands by superblackmarket

Nile's growing relationship with Joe and Nicky. All of their fics are so beautifully written, but I especially love Nile's relationship with the boys and her facing her own immortality.

Honourable mention: Station to Station

Between the Hour and the Age by hauntedjaeger (@hauntedfalcon)

Andy! Nile!

Ouroboros by CypressSunn (@cypresssunns)

Set after the film, literally just read it.

compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience by Jack_R

A pair of early days Joe Nicky fics that reminds me of 'my wife is a bitch and i love her so much'

let's give them something to talk about by lacecat

When The Cherries White With Blossoms, Be Ready & Be Brave by chapstickaddict

Unearthed by merle_p

I think this is one of the most kudosed fics in the AO3 tag, but it deserves the hype!

Kidnapping for Dummies by Amiril

Similar to above, already very popular, but great and very funny!

The Last Man on Earth by Survivah (@optimismology)

I will admit I don't normally go for Booker/Nile, but this fic sold it to me. Looking at them and their developing relationship as the newer immortals.

Canon Divergent

Retrograde by Pinkninja

I mean this fic is the Big Bitch of the fandom for me, if you haven't already read this, where have you been? But also if you haven't already read this I am so jealous, read it and take your time with it and bawl your eyes out over it and appreciate the joy of reading it for the first time. The level of detail and planning in this fic is indescribable. It follows Nicky trapped in a Time Travellers Wife style life where he jumps back and forth throughout his own timeline, whilst Joe lives his life in chronological order. Exquisitely written.

If Never Again, If Every Day by gallifreyburning and takiki16 (@gallifreyburning, @takiki16)

Another absolute Titan of the genre. I know you’ve already been recommended this 500 times, what more can I say.

though I'm dying to (fall in love with you) by yusufsmoon (@babygirlyusuf)

Travellers from an Antique Land by kaydeefalls (@kaydeefalls)

Andy, not Quỳnh, trapped under the sea. I love all their fics.

AUs

Makes Me Want You More by Sixthlight (@sixth-light)

Perhaps not the typical favourite choice from Sixthlight, one of my absolute favourite TOG authors, but one that is funny and lovely and sweet that I keep coming back to. Shorter than many of theirs but perfectly formed.

pumpkin gnocci verse (series) by Liadan14 (@bewires)

I mean it's got estranged family, suspenseful chronological structure, cooking, spies, intimate and honest sex scenes, hilarious misunderstandings involving keeping halal, lovely found family moments, and the actual recipes used. What more do you want.

The Reality of Everything by Marbletopempire

One of the fics I desperately waited for each instalment for. Very funny, lots of sexual tension, plenty of Cate Blanchette spotting opportunities.

sine qua non by mellyflori (@werebearbearbar)

One of the first of their fics I read, with a very sweet build up of misunderstanding to friends to lovers, involving growing up, discovering sexuality, trying to be nice about your best friend's bad boyfriend, and a long suffering sofa.

The Brooklyn Verse (series) by GayLittleEarring, yusufsmoon, nicelytousled (@marwankenzarisgaylittleearring @babygirlyusuf @nicelytousled)

I saw the creation of this on Tumblr before it was a fic, and it lived up to every expectation. Very sweet and sincere, with lots of great discussions about art, whilst also very funny (Lamp the free loader, Joe sending thirst traps out of irritation) and hot. ItalianAmericanNickyfromBrooklyn and Joe my beloveds.

a good (eighth) impression by deaniker

I love a good hook-up to 'oh shit I have feelings' fic, and this is even more entertaining because Nicky is Lykon's ex, and Joe has very much seen him at his worst.

You do not have to be good by emjee (MerryHeart) (@emjee)

At one point a tumblr post about Joe the Professor and Nicky the Priest got very popular, and I'm not sure if this fic was inspired by that, but is one of the great fics with similar concepts. Such a lovely, gentle fic about love and also identity, featuring also Nile and a very sweet snail.

it's such an almighty sound (series) by raedear (@raedear)

A secret service AU that goes full enemies to lovers, with lots of tension, plotting, betrayal, frustration, and tenderness.

Honourable mention: take my hand (you got me rockin' and rollin')

fight 'til the day that i die 'verse by incurableromancer

Suspenseful, noir, super hero AU that has such a great writing style and is very atmospheric.

if you do take a thief by knoepfchen (@knoepfchen)

Cluedo style AU with lots of fun twists and slow building of backstories, with the whole gang.

Honourable mention: life is not the things that we do (it's who we're doing them with)

[atzaurora]

a cute date with mingi involved painting his nails and picking rings to go with the nails

ahhhhhh it would be so cuteeeee i bet he blushing so hard

[˗ˏˋ ´ˎ˗] 𝒩𝒂𝒊𝒍 𝒫𝒐𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒉.﹙송민기﹚(0.9k)

𖥔 afab!reader x mingi ; dating ⸼જ Having a date with Mingi, where you get to paint his nails... ➤ imagine (fluff) .ᐟ.ᐟ >none< .ᐟ.ᐟ

꒰🖇꒱ such a cute idea! hope you like it :3 enjoyyy

if you have any ideas or wishes let me know, requests are open

here's my [𝒎𝒂𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒕]! ; [𝒓𝒆𝒒𝒖𝒆𝒔𝒕] here! ; [about me] + [guidelines]!

reblogs appreciated

You sat on your soft bedspread, sorting all kinds of nail polish in different colours. You and your boyfriend had agreed to say home tonight, instead of going out for a date.

"So, what's the plan tonight?" Mingi asked, peeking into the room with a gentle smile.

You looked up, meeting his eyes. "Just a little surprise for us," you said, holding a finger to your lips. "But you have to sit down first." ── ࣪˖ MORE BELOW

He obeyed, curiosity piquing as he sat beside you. The room was filled with the faint scent of vanilla candles, casting a warm glow around the space. You'd spent hours preparing for this moment, hoping it would be something special and fun to do together.

Mingi's eyes widened as he saw the nail art supplies laid out. "You're going to paint my nails?" he asked, his cheeks already beginning to blush.

"Only if you want me to," you teased, holding up a bottle of shimmering blue polish. "It's your choice, after all."

He didn't even have to think and immediately nodded. "Of course, I want you to," he said, extending his hand. "But only if I get to pick the design."

You took his hand carefully, inspecting his nails. They were clean and well-kept, perfect for you to get started. "Alright," you said, "what colour would you like?" He chuckled, admiring your excited face for a moment before deciding. "Mhm...maybe black." You sighed, giggling at his obvious choice.

"Of course. But pick another colour for the details and extras, it can't be all black," you said, smiling up at him. You appreciated that he let you do this, even though he liked to keep his nails simple and natural most of the time.

He nodded, looking around at all the colours. "This one looks nice," he responded, pointing at a wine red polish. You gasped dramatically, surprised by his good colour matching. "Ooh, very nice. These two go well together."

He laughed, pressing a soft kiss to your cheek. "Okay, hands please." You stuck out your own hands to grab a hold of his.

Mingi's blush deepened, but he didn't protest. He watched as you painted the first nail with careful strokes, the black polish gliding smoothly over the surface. The silence was filled with the comforting sound of the TV playing a random sitcom in the background. You both chuckled at the occasional laugh track, the tension in the air easing slightly.

"I think I'm done with the base. Now we're going to let them dry for a bit," you said, looking at what you have done so far with a satisfied smile. His hands glid out of your grip as he lifted him to get a closer look.

"You did good, baby," he praised, poking out his lips for you to kiss. You laughed softly, gladly accepting the offer by pressing your lips against his.

You two continued to watch the TV for a bit while waiting for the polish to dry. Your head laid on Mingi's shoulder, while he watched out for his nails so they wouldn't get smudged. Your gaze drifted away from the TV and landed on your desk where a box of jewellery was placed.

As Mingi stayed on the bed, you made your way to the desk, suddenly having an idea in mind. You rummaged through the box, looking for rings that matched the nail design.

You found a a few that you thought would look good with the black and red, carrying them over to him. "Look what I found," you squealed, opening your hand to show him the rings.

"They look really good, sweetheart. I'll wear them once my nails are done, okay?" he asked and you nodded, placing the jewellery on the bedside table.

"Alright, then I should get these done." You took his hands into yours again, making him sit up properly again. Mingi felt his face heating up again, simply by having your hands holding his. He was down bad...

He watched closely as your face grimaced with concentration, trying your hardest not to mess up the lines. It only took you a few more minutes, till you giggled excited, finally done with your work.

"Look!" He immediately held out his hands in front of him, looking at your designs carefully.

"I love them baby! You're really good at this." He smiled from ear to ear, seeing how your face lit up once you heard he liked them too.

You got up, collecting the rings from the table. "Now...," you sat back down again, signaling him to stick out his hand again. "...the final accessory."

You slid the silver ring onto his ring finger, before placing the other two on his other hand, on both the index and middle finger. You held his hand up to the light, admiring the final result. "What do you think?" you asked, your voice full of excitement.

He stared at his hand, the rings glinting in the candlelight. "It's perfect," he said, his voice barely above a whisper.

You couldn't help but smile at his reaction. The evening had turned into something even more fun than you'd planned, but you loved it. You liked seeing Mingi this way, vulnerable and open and not trying to hide his true excitement.

[paper-mario-wiki]

I feel like I've ended up in the same spot as so transmasc before me: I have a lovely cis boyfriend who loves my tits which I love for him, but I am getting dysphoric to the point I wanna lift my lips and show a lil teeth when I see his hands coming towards them. Feels bad because they are his favorite and we haven't been fucking as much because as soon as he starts touching me I am out of it™ and get all in my head and freeze up. Any advice?

good god, brother. i am utterly baffled at why you have elected me as the strategist for this problem, and i'm even more confused as to why you have chosen to go into as much detail as you have.

but.

if i were to give you some advice on this

i'd say that you should consider a conversation with your partner about the long-term plan for the relationship. a "relationship" is two lives that are connected, right? and your life is not one where you're gonna have boobs for the rest of it (or at least based on what you've told me i would assume, should you have your way, those bad boys are gettin lopped off at some point), therefore it's pertinent that it be brought up, because it concerns your life, therefore it concerns the relationship, therefore it concerns him, yes?

now, the first and most obvious thing to start with out the gate is the boundary, made clear and concise: the hills are now closed, off limits to tourists. all discussions regarding this come next. make it clear that it's about something quite core to your identity, and something that does in fact cause physical pain (a panic response from the nervous system is pain homie).

this brings some followup questions (and remember, this isn't an interrogation, it's a dialogue to share): how does he feel about this? if he's against, why? for that matter, how much does it bother him? is there something he doesn't understand about your discomfort? is there some concern he has about your financial or bodily well-being with regards to the procedure? is it because it's vital to his attraction to you as a partner? if that's the case, would their removal be a deal-breaker?

now keep in mind, these question can be brought up whether or not you've got immediate plans to engage in the aforementioned lopping-off of your aforementioned Bad Boys, because the actual point of this dialectical exercise is to create a simple, easy to navigate, easy to understand conversation, which will set a foundation for further negotiations-- should you learn something new about each other, or yourselves, or the relationship as a whole.

either way, i do not think that letting it keep happening and keeping it to yourself is a good idea. i can understand feeling guilty about withholding some physical and emotional gratification you could give "easily" to this person you care dearly for, but trust me when i say that it's not the way to let it be. not just because it's unfair to your partner to secretly grow to resent them for a reason you don't want to vocalize, but to yourself as well.

you may not know it, but by keeping it to yourself you're slowly building up a resentment. that frustration actually shows up pretty clearly in your message. and even if what you're frustrated about is only that particular activity, that activity is irrevocably tied to another person. specifically, a person that you consider to be a pretty central pillar in your life. if that resentment grows, it can evolve into anger, hatred, fear, paranoia, and all sorts of nasty things. and even aside from the emotional and psychological damage that can do, it can grow into a physiological issue, where your brain wears out more and more due to the growing emotional distress ripping through your neurons with all sorts of "emergency" chemicals. like i said, the panic response is a physical pain, even if your body doesn't feel like it "hurts".

so. to summarize.

ABSOLUTELY bring it up. if you don't, it could become damaging to your relationship, and also your actual real life physical brain.

when you do bring it up, remember that the goals are to set a boundary, and to reach an understanding through mutual conversation. it's a dialogue, not a lecture.

when you reach an understanding, figure out if the relationship needs to be renegotiated in some way. that usually means new boundaries, or expectations. or maybe nothing! though surely your boyfriend can find more things to love about you.

that's as best as i can muster. you don't have to follow it, but hopefully it'll at least give you some ideas you can use.

[kurosagi-h8r]

My headcanon on the ghouls in bed 🔞

Idk if anyone talked abt this already but as always you can put them in any place, it's just how i imagined them in my head. This is for funsies ☆

Detailed explanation below. Minor DNI!

Jin would almost say no to bottoming unless he's too lazy and you're too needy. But i feel like he's too prideful to go that way so he'll probably force you to nap with him instead. It's likely that you'd wake up to him taking the initiative first. "Didn't you ask for it?" And he doesn't care if you're still in the mood or not. He is now and it's your responsibility too.

TOHMA SKDJFHSKHD definitely a service top when you're good but becomes a sadist when you deserve to be punished. Either way he enjoys playing both roles and is good at them.

I feel like Luca is one of the best when it comes to aftercare. From the beginning to the end he priorities your need above his and will switch depending on your preference. Guy probably takes it like a study when it comes to please you– excited to learn about your body and all.

Kaito is a pathetic bottom. A perfect subject for mindbreaking. Will cry upon first orgasm and a whimpering mess if you're not stopping (yay overstimulation). So much thank you and sorry despite forgetting his name during the whole thing.

To me Alan is more of a service top but would bottom at first bcs Alan is Alan– he would need guidance on what you like and what you don't like and also reassurance that you're enjoying everything. A submissive top, perhaps. The type to put your needs above his. Probably would take too long fingering you bcs he's afraid he wouldn't fit.

Leo mayyyybee secretly wants to film you going down on him. Will act all sadist at first but really he just wants to see how much it'd take to trigger you. If you give in and be submissive he'd lose interest in an instant because you're too easy. I mean come on do you actually believe people who like spicy food is not into pain? If you want him so bad then take him. The fact that he might resist at first shouldn't be an obstacle to you. He's a brat bottom at its finest.

Sho is pretty simple i guess. Top leaning and would take some convincing to let you overpower him. He'd secretly be addicted to it after the first time but it's because you look hot doing it.

Depending on how his day went Haru would either top the entire session or bottom. A service top most days but would say no to a blowjob or handjob when he has no energy left. I hc him being softer with it when he's drunk bc when the two of you do it sober he'd tease you here and there. But at the same time Haru is still Haru, he has some pent up stress and could let it out through you. So please push him as hard as you can– slap the shit out of him if you need to when it gets uncomfortable.

Should I explain about Towa 😩? He seems sweet at first but the second you show no signs of going along with his tune... also he's probably into roleplay. "Let’s reenact those love stories you've told me before, Dandelion ♡~ You'll say yes, won't you?"

Ren would absolutely refuse being the bottom. Even if he's positioned under you his hands would be on your hips controlling all of your movements. Surprisingly can hold himself being cockwarmed– gotta push rank a bit if he doesn't want to get kicked out of the guild. A bit of a masochist, would force you to be quiet as he destroy you from the inside despite knowing that's what gets you being too loud. Pretending to bottom only to tease you and make you realize how pathetic your attempts were.

Taiga is Taiga.

Romeo is meticulous with everything but everything has to be romantic and worth his while. He's secretly kinky and needs to have all the power on his hand but if you play your cards right, you might just see that side of him that he will never show anyone else. Hot top, pretty bottom.

It's tempting to put Ed in each square. Who knows he's probably the creator of this top switch bottom thingy MAYBE HE INVENTED S3X IDK. Like, he's probably had his fair share of doing everything in the bed. Want him to top? He'd love to! Just surrender your whole being and let him become your God. Want him bottom? Sure. Just be careful and don't get too rough, his joints can only take so much (lol). Either way things will likely be memorable with him.

Ritsu is a top if it's for duty and bottom if you provoke him enough. Bully him; call him a momma's boy and he'll lose his mind soon enough. He would take some time to tame but it won’t be an issue if you like the process.

I imagine even when stripping Subaru would want you to look away and when it's your turn he would be too bashful to look at you. Keeping eye contact is important for him, let him know that he is the center of your world and you'll gladly accept him with open arms. Yes, he couldn’t help but look away everytime, but as long as you distract him with your lips on his he'll ease up bit by bit. He'd probably feel bad not taking the lead but his skill lies on the aftercare (despite him being the one that needed it more sometimes) so please let him take care of you as you did for him.

Haku (lord help me again with this man) will become a greedy bastard if you keep indulging him. "No more round? What a shame. I love hearing my name on your lips." To him being with you feels like a guilty pleasure that's far more dangerous than being addicted to nicotine. He tends to be lazy with other things but will gladly take on the invitation to do it with you whenever you want. "You're tired? It's fine princess. Let me get you some water, ok? Stay right here." And if you think he's stopping after that you're dead wrong. He'll do all the work while you just lay there being pretty. Let him take care of you, ok?

Feminist king. Words of affirmation in the air every five seconds. KING OF PRAISE KINK! Everything you do is beautiful; you are simply an art sent from heaven for Zenji to witness, feel, and devour to his hearts content. I feel like he's secretly a pervert but only to the right person... You are an exclusive muse for his creations that he will never share to others. Everything you want to do to him, he'll agree with no questions asked.

Rui despite being flirty and wanting you to think he's kinky, he preferred to be a gentleman on bed. Don't know how he did it back then with the casual flings but after he's no longer cursed he would cherish every second and every inch of you. Worshipping your body with everything he has until you're sick of it. Mouth, hands, whatever and however you want he'll grant it. Just keep using him as you please; make a toy out of him, he doesn't care as long as your eyes and attention stays on him.

A bundle of nerves in the beginning but if it's driven by instinct Lyca won't even stop when you want him to. He would have his way with you bcs he's too impatient, so you have to really bare your fangs if you want to put him in place.

Yuri is a mess of a bottom. Similar to Kaito but unlike him Yuri's mind will resist before fully submitting. How will he finally submit? When you deny him of his own orgasm. The longer you edge him the more he's losing his mind. He would never admit it but he's grateful that you know when to not go all out, especially when he's tired. Even better when you simply go down on him to be his stress reliever in such state.

Doing it with Jiro is a bit embarrassing at first bc he need you to go verbal with how you want him to do things 90% of the time. Don't get him wrong his mind could break at any moment too (or pass out from exhaustion) so if you make it known to him that he can do whatever he wants... oh boy you're in for a ride. He's looking forward to all the expressions you can make with all the positions he'll try with you, and he'll only stop when he pass out.

[moon-my-beloved]

Wicked Game: a little snippet of the next chapter :3

“I don’t think I can do this.” You mutter nervously, clenching your sweaty palms against the fabric of your gloves for the millionth time that day as you sit in the passenger seat of Laswell’s car. You two had arrived earlier than expected and were now parked outside the house that belonged to the four men Kate had been speaking of these last couple of days. You barely caught any of it though, too busy trying to figure out why you even agreed to do this in the first place.

You had managed to grasp little bits of information from the conversation, at least important ones that Laswell could provide to you. John being the oldest of friends she had met in London at a soccer game. A quirk on her lip forming as she recounts how their first conversation, more like a debate, started their friendship. They worked together, in an organization of some sort called ‘Task Force 1-4-1’ taking down bad guys as Laswell simply put it. That’s where the other three come in: Simon, Johnny, and Kyle. She had explained that they all have worked together on various missions she could not disclose but made it clear that these were people she trusted with her life.

“They’re family.” Crow's feet deepened as her eyes crinkled with the smile she wore while talking about them. You knew Laswell would never lie to you but at that moment you felt the warmth in her words with how much compassion and inclination she had for her team.

She had spared any detail of their personal lives, stating that there would be no point in meeting them if she just told you everything that she knew about these men. You’re here to get to know each other, she had said, not knowing that it was probably the last thing you wanted these four guys to accomplish.

It was really meaningless. You would just end up being a small blip in their minds once this whole ordeal is over.

“Getting cold feet on me?” An amused expression written all over her face at your troubling state. Turning off the engine and unbuckling herself, she turns her body to face you as she crosses her arms over her chest “Nervous?”

Letting out an exasperated sigh, you lean your elbow against the small space between the window and you, rubbing your fingers over your eyes before breaking the silence. “You know I’m not good at whatever this is,” Hand waving desperately in the air and eyes flickering towards the house and hers just to be met with a stoic face as she listens to you ramble about how you just want to go back home like you’re a spoiled child having a tantrum in the middle of a candy store. You might as well be at this point. Pressing your lips together in an attempt to stop yourself from saying too much, you sit up and look at yourself in the front view mirror. “I just don’t know what to do, Kate.”

‘You don’t want to disappoint her.’

A small chuckle can be heard from the woman along with a warm palm against your shoulder breaking you out of your thoughts as you lift your head just enough to meet Kate’s sympathetic yet serious gaze.

“You won’t mess it up if that’s what you’re worried about. I know this can be.. different for you but I promise, things will go great.” A soft smile on her lips as she gives your cheek a small pat before pulling away. “Just let me do the talking and we’ll go off from there, okay? Baby steps.” She reassures you, grabbing the small bags of gifts from the backseat for you to take. “Here, you’ll be my little delivery person for today.” She says as she hops off the car and closes the door behind her.

“Shit- wait!” You give yourself a quick once-over, barely managing to catch up to Kate as you try your very best to avoid any of the small gifts from falling off your arms. “Rude.” You say when you meet Kate at the front door.

“We don’t want to keep the boys waiting with how eager they’ve been to meet my ‘mystery’ friend.” The corner of her lip twitching up into a smirk as she points at the door. “You ready?”

“Just knock.” You say. A bit harsher than you wanted it to come out as you look the other way to find anything to distract yourself from your own misery.

Rolling her eyes, Kate lifts up her hand and lands three solid knocks against the wood of the door, shoving her own hands into the warmth of her puffer jacket. You think you hear Laswell complain about how cold it is before a booming voice can be heard coming from the other side of the door followed by heavy footsteps inching closer.

You tense up, feeling like your heart is about to beat itself out of your rib cage if that’s even possible with how anxious you are.

‘Fuck. Maybe you can make a run for it.’

As if Laswell could sense what you were thinking, she grabs the hem of your coat to hold you in place before the door swings open.

[ofstarsandvibranium]

Guarded Desires: Part 8

Fandom: Star Wars - The Acolyte

Pairing: Padawan!Qimir x Princess!Reader

Summary: After an assassination attempt on your mother, she’s asked a favor from the Jedi Council to watch over you and your family until the assailant has been caught. As a result, your mother’s old friend, Master Vernestra, has her padawan, Qimir, be your bodyguard. Based off my imagine here.

Series Masterlist

Qimir did his best not to let anger settle within him, but he couldn't help it. For the first time in his life, he felt...alive. Being with you set him aflame, it awakened a desire within him that he didn't know he could feel.

The Jedi aren't supposed to feel things like desire. The Jedi aren't supposed to form attachments. Such feelings were looked down upon, like they were bad. And yet...they made Qimir feel more alive than he's ever felt before. Only for you to be ripped away from him.

He got a taste of what it was like to hold you, kiss you, and...love you.

Qimir had never been in love but he was sure that's what he felt for you. He thought about you every day since he met you. He protected you, stayed by your side, worried about your well being. He learned about your likes, dislikes, your desires, your goals. He saw you at low points and high. In just a few weeks, Qimir had fallen for you. You made it so easy to do so with your kindness, your sass, your fire, and determination.

His heart aches being so far from you now.

Master Vernestra still remains on Nerathos Prime as she continues to lead the investigation on the palace attacks and the assassination attempt on your mother.

She occasionally checks in on him and his answers are the same. He's still training and working to be one of the best Jedi Knights he can be. However, the more he says it, the less it rings true to him.

He's not sure if being a Jedi is what he wants to do anymore. His faith is wavering as he doesn't understand how something that makes him feel good and warm inside is seen as something bad.

That's when he starts hearing a voice. There's been a poking in his mind. A voice whispering in his ear that the Jedi are wrong. That love and desire aren't a bad thing. That his affections and desire to be with you should be acknowledged and accepted, not swept under the rug like a dirty secret. You don't deserve to be a dirty secret.

_________________________

Nira was...nice. She was professional and was very keen on keeping the professional boundary between you and herself. She never shared too many details about herself. Only vague facts. It frustrated you, but you also understood.

You suddenly felt so alone now.

You took your frustrations out on training, kicking down any and all of the Knight's Guard that became your partner. Orin could see that something was wrong, so after a grueling session. He pulled you off to the side.

"What's going on?" He asks in concern.

You roll your eyes, "Nothing."

He scoffs, "Don't lie to me. We all see something is wrong. None of the others will say something, but I'm your friend. I care about you, Y/N. Whatever it is, let me help," he places a hand on your shoulder and you shrug him off.

"You can't help me," you mumble, looking anywhere but at him.

"At least let me try."

"Why? So you can be in my father's good graces?"

"No! I told you, you're my friend! Y/N, we've been friends for years. You know I'd never do something like that to you."

You run a hand down your face, "You're right. I'm sorry. It's-It's complicated."

"It's about him, isn't it? The Jedi," Orin whispers. You nod and he continues, "Had a feeling. Noticed he was replaced. Did-Did something bad happen?"

You sigh, "Yes, and no. We confessed our feelings for each other and-and we kissed. But then Master Vernestra looked into his head and saw what we did. He was sent back to Coruscant shortly after."

"Why?"

"Jedi aren't supposed to form any sort of attachments. I was too much of a distraction and temptation. So he was sent away."

Orin nods in understanding, "I see...I'm sorry, Y/N."

You shrug, "I'm tired of other people being in control of my life. For once, I was doing something for me. Not for my father's approval or for the good of our people, me! And it was stripped away at an instant."

Orin immediately pulls you into his arms. His hold was tight but also comforting. And for the first time in a while, you let yourself break down. You're heartbroken and feel so stuck. Knowing Orin is there for you really seemed to strike a chord in you.

So you wrap your arms around him and let yourself cry. You cry until there are no tears left.

___________________

You wake up to hearing waves crashing. There's a slight breeze and you smell salt water.

You open your eyes to brightness. The suns of Nerathos Prime beaming down at you. You're laying in the sand. You slowly sit up and look around. You're at the beach you and your family visited a week prior.

But you're confused. Why're you here?

"Enjoy your nap, princess?" you turn to see Qimir sitting beside you, a soft smile on his lips.

"Qimir? What-Where-"

"You're dreaming."

You shoulder slump in disappointment, "So you're not really here?"

His face scrunches up in a sorrowful look, "Unfortunately not. I'm still on Coruscant, but...I think our bond is so strong it's linked us. So we can be in each other's dreams."

"Why now? You've been gone for a week and now you're appearing in my dreams?"

"I've been trying to get the link to stick and I finally got it," he places his hand on top of yours, "How are you?"

You snort, "Miserable. You?"

"Just about the same. I, uh, I got into a fight a few days ago."

Your eyes widen, "What? Why?"

"Another padawan heard about why I came back. Started spewing off a bunch of fodder and wouldn't shut up, so I punched him."

"What did he say?"

"It doesn't matter," he shrugs trying to brush off the subject, he pulls his knees up and rests his arms up on them.

"Was it about us?"

He slowly nods, looking out to the sea, "Said I was stupid for ever thinking a princess could fall for me."

You snort, "How could I not fall for you? You're funny, kind, strong, understanding-"

Qimir blushes, hiding his face in his arms, "Stop it."

You giggle, "No! It's true! I-You're different, Qimir. You see me for me and not some princess."

"And you see me for me," he reaches out and pulls you closer to him. You rest your head on his shoulder and he rests his head on yours.

"Can we stay here forever?" you whisper with desperation.

He sighs, "No, but I'll do my best to visit you as much as I can. But this is my first time actually succeeding and I don't know the toll it'll take on me after."

"Okay. Just take care of yourself, alright, Qi?"

"I'll do my best," he replies, pressing a kiss to your head and letting the sound of the crashing waves fill the silence between you.

[rainybyday]

This is mostly based on these three ideas I had circling in my little head please send help. 

Warring States Period - First Idea

Kaguya won in this timeline and only Team Seven survived, both past and present (Sakura, Naruto, Sai, Sasuke, Tenzo, Kakashi, and Obito (all in a total of seven :D)), and so they went into a new timeline as they used their last bit of Chakra to destroy their timeline so Kaguya will never escape and take over other dimensions 

Relationships 

ObKk because I somehow am in a toxic yaoi shipper cycle, god help

Sasuke and Sakura will stay together because I have a massive pin collection with amazing pins of these two so it made me biased

Naruto and Sai are without any partners since their timeline got fucked

Pray

Ok so let me go over some little details I like to have

Uchihas love so fucken deeply its not even funny so when their loved ones are threatened, all hell breaks loose,

Hatakes are a feral clan and while they are seen as “domestic” in modern times not so much in the Warring States, there are two reactions. One (stupid) people will try to fight them to scare them off (ha) or are scared to high heaven and back away from them

Hatakes have fangs and have habits like touching and calling their close ones pack and mate and pup if considered pack 

Yes all of his students are his pups and Tenzo is affectionately called a sapling once he realizes that is a THING for Senju’s to say to their young

Tenzo secretly loves it

But before he never said it out loud since, you know, trauma

Hatakes are territorial of their pack so if anyone messes with their pack when they can’t handle it you are going to wake up with your throat being ripped apart from Hatake teeth

Having a Hatake and Uchiha couple might be a pair made in shinobi heaven if I think in that sense

Fear them

Kakashi gives head pats like it is free candy

Everyone decided to have the Hatake clan symbol on them to place a barrier between them and other warring clans because no one likes to mess with Hatakes (only dumb people do, aka, the political greedy people)

Oh wait I found my plot!

Sakura is still considered a civilian during this time, with no family name or any of that sort since, back then, a civilian was too poor to have a last name, so she, alongside Sai, are now Hatake. 

Since Hatake’s have a pack mentality they do have the occasion of adopting outside their clan and giving their last name, however, there have been very few cases in which a clan outsider is adopted into the Hatake. Usually, this is issued to the clan head of that clan and things will get sorted out. But, because Sasuke, Naruto, and Tenzo are time travelers, no one knows of them nor are they official in the clan registry they don’t do that. 

 Bastard children if you will, and while it's possible for both Naruto and Tenzo that is going to be difficult to tell with Sasuke and Obito

So they decided not to use their last names in such situations unless officially asked if they were of [instert clan here] and just said they are by blood

After all, last names are a claim so they are careful to say they are a Uchiha, Uzumaki, or Senju

Do they claim them?

I mean no?????

Let's say no

They are blood-related but do not claim name, claim blood, not name. If named they are shipped to the clan’s compound and goodbye pack member. 

NOT ON KAKASHI’S WATCH

Ok so, timeline!

I’m gonna make it about maybe a year or more before the death of Inzuma

Just because I can and because tension is still there

But not THE tension if you know what I mean

I want Tobirama to feel like something is wrong with the Chakra signatures floating around but I want Hashirama to know first what the actual problem is with the forest warning him about a pack he should not cross

Why the forest?

Because they feel another person with the forest within them

Aka Tenzo

Case and point

They find Sasuke first by accident

It was a patrol of Senju who found him and immediately didn’t know what to do but they had to capture the thing because obviously it was a Uchiha

They corner him and they are about to catch him when the trees start to move

At first, they think it's their clan head who came to trap him 

But no

The branches are capturing THEM and leaving the Uchiha alone

So now they are confused

Confused they see a man with short chestnut hair come out from nowhere, take the Uchiha into his arms, and warns them that they shouldn't mess with a Hatake cub

And

Disappears

They promptly freak the fuck out

I'll add more later and edit more of my other two ideas cus I can. Nice to do a break on the dcxdp fandom not gonna lie.

[thegirlwhorideslikeasamurai]

Hi, I'm your friendly fanfiction writer from the neighbourhood

Since I'm mostly known on this site for reblogging fanart and figure skating things, let it be known that I also write Yuri!!! On Ice fanfiction.

You might probably wonder what you need yet another fanfiction writer for when the YOI fandom has already all the fanfictions a reader's heart might desire.

In this case, let me tell you this:

Every fanfiction writer has their own reasons to write, their goals what they want to achieve with their writing, and their own vision of the story they want to tell. It makes their stories unique.

I write pre-, during and post-canon fanfiction. My goal is to expand the story of Yuri!!! On Ice and to preserve its spirit in my works and to continue the characters' stories—and that's especially true for Yuuri and Viktor because they're everything to me.

As a canon writer my writing is defined by my Prime Directive (yes, like in Star Trek):

I do not distort canon. I do not make up stuff that does not match the characters' personalities in any way. I do not project myself into the characters beyond the traits that I share with them. Because if I did that, I would betray what YOI is to me and the stories I want to tell in that universe. Of course, developing a character beyond their canon self is inevitable in the long run because people change and whenever I do that I'm careful to make that addition plausible.

If that sounds like your cup of tea, I invite you to check out my ongoing works:

Can You Hear My Heartbeat is my 350k YOI novelisation and the first part of my A Dream Too Large To Bear Alone series. I often call it my love letter to YOI for quite a number of good reasons: It's a character and relationship study of Yuuri and Viktor that takes a deep dive into Japanese culture and the summer of mutual pining. If you love figure skating, kinky!Eros Yuuri and sweet, steamy, and smutty viktuuri moments and if you want to explore what the boys are up to between the episodes that we all love so dearly, this story is for you. There are only a couple of chapters left to post. If you start reading now, you can read the whole story in one go and then move on to the sequel, which I'm going to post right afterwards. And to give you an idea what the continuation will be about: Yuuri and Viktor will finally move in together and get ready for going from husbands to rivals on the ice.

Beneath the Shine of a Thousand Spotlights is a pre-canon story that explores Viktor's life before he became Yuuri's coach. It's a prequel to my series for all lovers of Vitya that want to get to know him and his struggles as an athlete nearing the end of his career on a more intimate level.

Thanks for reading! If you want to get a more detailed impression of how deeply I dive into canon, please also have a look at my meta analyses!

Reblogs are deeply appreciated 💙💜

[happylittleshrub]

Rocket Plushie Review

My thoughts on Rocket plushies! I only own some of these so for those I'll go into a little more detail, but most of this is just based on vibes lol

This isn't in any sort of ranking or order

I love this one! His fur feels so soft and he sits on my desk and keeps me company. Reminds me of Pokemon's "Sitting Cuties" line of plushes. Sometimes he'll fall over a little but that's really only if he's sitting on a more uneven surface like a bed or sofa, on my desk he sits fine

This one looks like one of those Littlest Pet Shop toys. So many of the other Rocket plushies look good I don't know what happened here.

Sweet, sleepy boy I love to cuddle him ❤️ Both huggable and snuggable. My sleep has improved 120% since getting him 10/10 would recommend

This is my son my precious little child I love him I want the world for him he is the greatest thing in all of existence. He is so very soft and the perfect size to hug and to hold. ❤️

This is the first Rocket plush I ever got he is very special to me 🥹 I like the chibified design, very adorable! He does have a hard time sitting up on his own because of his disproportionately sized head, I usually have to lean him against something. His ears are velvety soft!

Tiny gremlin, an actual creature. He is full of bad ideas. I like that he comes with a tiny gun

This one looks kind of like a dog more so than a raccoon. Maybe it's just this picture. Idk he still cute tho

This one is good but something about his eyes feels a little off. I don't know if I trust him

Absolutely adorable! He has Animal Crossing vibes. I would buy him but he's over forty dollars 🙃

This one is cute but uh... this is legally distinct off-brand Rocket Wolf not Rocket Raccoon

He is 100% friend shaped I love him I want to give him a hug

"I can't believe I'm taking orders from a hamster." -Some Nova Corps Guy. I like this little dude, he's smol and squishy like a marshmallow!

This one is cute, but I do kinda wish his face wasn't so flat, otherwise no notes

This is so adorable wth you can carry Rocket around on your back like he's a sleepy little child I love it

Bro's lookin' like a finger puppet. He's very small and cute!

This Rocket looks like he needs some love. Well, that's all Rockets but especially this one. Looks like he'd be standing alone a street corner somewhere. Someone needs to bring him home and make him soup

I feel like this one should be the reference image next to the word Blorbo in a dictionary. This is the embodiment of blorbo and all other blorbos should bow to him

Shadow the Hedgehog wannabe. Gritty 90s reboot edgelord

This Rocket is smiling but I feel like he's screaming on the inside while this rando pulls on his ears

Football Head here stares into my soul. He can and will beat me up

Cute but not the best. I'd probably put him in a B-Tier (Shrub, you said you weren't going to do rankings!)

Adorable little guy! He has tiny magnets in his hands with which to hold batteries and other stolen items. You can also buy little outfits for these types of plushies so 20/10! During the colder months I let him ride around in my hoodie ^-^

This one is up to no good I love the mischief in his expression lol

I love Disney Tsum Tsum so this little peanut is an absolute winner in my book

"Until a second ago I thought you were a build-a-bear."

"MAYBE I AM"

He's so sweet and adorable would absolutely bring him home and love him forever (would be even better if he came with sound like some build-a-bears do)

WHO PUT HIM IN THE DRYER???

The way they did his eyes reminds me of Spiderman

He's a sweet boy he just needs someone looking out for him and to be his conscience and stop him from stealing batteries 💛

FERAL

Bro's got them sparkly anime eyes. Also sideburns

Alright I've reached the photo limit so that's all for now. If you read all the way down here thanks for checking out my silly ramblings!

[theelizamanelli]

Tengoku

Reina Iyashi wants a normal, mundane existence until Satoru Gojo takes a special interest in her uncanny ability to bring people back to life (or so Itadori says) and offers her a job as his assistant at Jujutsu High. Tags: 18+, satoru gojo x female oc, boss x assistant, golden retriever x black cat, forced proximity, slow burn, eventual smut, romance, blood and violence, implied/referenced death link to all chapters link to ao3

——————————————————————————————————

Chapter Eleven

——————————————————————————————————

Reina closed her laptop with a huff, staring out the window. The sun was beginning to set over the treeline, a clear indication it was time for her to return home. She found herself hesitating to do so - her thoughts full. 

She had not been able to stop thinking of the kiss. It permeated her mind at nearly every waking hour - the shower, the kitchen, at work, and worsened when Gojo looked at her. It was as if he knew what was racing through her head. 

The interaction would inevitably end the same way - Reina avoiding eye contact with a blush staining her cheeks and Gojo refusing to let her be with a tease slipping from his mouth. 

Leaning her head back, Reina sighed - her shoulders slumping. The softness of Gojo’s lips haunted her. How he had deepened the kiss by pulling her back, she could feel the heat begin to grow within her at the mere thought.

Reina pressed her thighs together, warmth spreading up her neck. She couldn’t help but wonder what other things his mouth could do. Her right hand glided over her skirt before sliding up her thigh, Reina bit her lip.

“Are you ready, Iyashi?” Gojo shoved the door open, Reina nearly jumped out of her seat - knocking over the papers on her desk. 

“Please, don’t you know how to knock?” She quickly dropped to her knees to pick them up. Willing her face to cool down. 

“What were you doing?” Gojo asked suspiciously, leaning over the desk to watch her. 

“Nothing, it’s been a long day. I was-” She paused, struggling to find the word. “Relaxing.” 

She settled on that, though if she had been honest she was about to touch herself to thoughts of Gojo. Reina would be lying if she said that was the first time since they returned from the inn. 

A fact she was deeply ashamed of.

——————————————————————————————————

“What?” Gojo leaned over Reina, one hand holding onto the bar above her head - the other hidden in his pocket. “I think I deserve one.”

She rolled her eyes, turning her head to the side. Gojo pouted slightly,  “Just one kiss. I helped you all day.”

Reina looked into his glasses, his blue eyes peering slightly over, “You bothered me all day. There’s a difference.”

“And you loved it,” he responded indignantly, straightening up as the subway came to a halt. 

Reina sighed, the comments had been endless since they had arrived home. Any time she would drop off his letters he would purse his lips expectantly, earning him a smack on the mouth.

She learned quickly this was not a deterrent but rather emphatic encouragement. 

Exiting the transport, Gojo lingered a step behind her as they ascended to the street. He stepped in front of her, walking backwards as he recounted how they had all witnessed Fushiguro being hit on. Describing in great detail, his animated hands striking through the air. 

Reina laughed at the vision of Fushiguro reacting to the three as they more than likely misread the situation. 

He pouted, “Not our sweet, naive Megu-” he stopped abruptly as a young girl bounced off of his limitless effect, stumbling forward.

Reina reached out to steady her but the girl yanked her arm out of range, “Watch where you’re going, lady!” she shouted.

Her brows furrowed, her eyes blinking rapidly. The girl glared before pushing past her, hurrying down the street.

Reina whipped around, “Listen here, brat! You better respect your elders!” she scrambled to follow her. 

The girl’s short brown hair ducked in and out of the crowd. Reina pushed through the throng, apologizing intermittently. The kid slipped into an alley, she sprinted down the brickway screeching to a stop as it came to a dead end.

“Where the fu-” Reina muttered, looking around frantically.

“Listen, brat, I will find you!” she yelled into the sky, “So help me!”

Gojo leaned down, “Yeah, you really got her, Iyashi!” he nodded his head in faux solidarity.

“Shut up,” she responded, her head swiveling to look for any small openings she could have slid through.

“Now, what do we have here?” she asked, crouching down to examine a corner of the ground - a hole burrowed to the other side. A green curse sat, too engorged to fit through the opening.

Gojo peered over her, “A curse? Interesting.”

“Very,” replied Reina. 

——————————————————————————————————

Reina slammed a piece of paper onto Gojo’s desk, fixing him with a sinister smile. She slid her hand out of the way to allow him to examine it.

It was a school picture, a young girl with dark brown hair glared up at Gojo.   

“Found her,” she stated triumphantly, her eyes darkening. 

“Scary,” said Gojo, leaning his head back and turning the photo over.

“Very,” Fushiguro concurred, sitting in the corner of the classroom reading a book.

“The school sent over information about her,” she smiled as she pulled the documents out of her bag.

Gojo examined her carefully before responding, “How did you manage that?”

“I lied and said I was her long lost aunt trying to reconnect.” she responded, flipping through the papers absentmindedly.

“Is this how you always act? Lying to get what you want?” he teased, mocking her with a grin.

Reina looked up at him, a small smile tugging at her lips before stating, “Pretty much.”

She sat at the counter later that night, reading through the information.

Name: Sakura Fukanaga

Sex: Female

Age: 11 

Parents: Deceased

Home Address: Sanya Children’s Home

Reina’s grip tightened on the paper, her eyes re-reading the last three words. She set the documents down, her mind flashing with memories. Her jaw clenched as she shook her head, standing from the counter she threw the stack into her bag.

——————————————————————————————————

Sanya Children’s Home

Reina stared at the worn lettering on the building, her foot tapping the ground. She had been standing at the same spot on the sidewalk for five minutes, the Spring air hugging her bare legs as she willed them to step forward.

“Whatcha doin’?” Gojo inquired, settling in next to her.

Reina jumped slightly before groaning, “What are you doing here?”

“Well, it’s rare that my assistant doesn’t show up to work. Thought I should investigate.” he replied, staring up at the building - reading.

“It’s Saturday,” she responded, her tone flat.

“Oh, well, that makes sense.” He shrugged before walking towards the door, “Are you going to go in or keep staring at it for another five minutes?”

Reina huffed, taking a few tentative steps towards the entrance - careful to avoid the cracked wood near the frame. She wiggled her big toe reflexively. 

Children of all ages raced through the corridors, giggling as they hopped up the stairs. There was an open space to the right that contained various couches and chairs, a few girls sat there coloring. A dining area spanned to the right, a long table sprawled through the middle. 

An older woman stood scolding a child for sliding down the bannister, as the boy walked off with his head hanging she turned towards them, “How can we help you?”

The woman faltered, “Reina?” she gasped, rushing forward.

“Hello, Ms. Shimuzu,” Reina responded sheepishly. 

“We thought you were dead!” Ms. Shimuzu shouted. “Went to your apartment and there was an eviction notice on the front! The landlord said you had disappeared with all of your stuff!”

Reina winced at the tone, slumping her shoulders as she fidgeted with her blouse - her eyes roaming the floor. 

“Six months, Reina! SIX MONTHS we haven’t heard from you!” she yelled, reaching for her shoulders. Gojo slid in between the woman and Reina, a smile plastered to his face.

“Hello, Satoru Gojo. This troublemaker’s boss, may I ask who you are?” he asked politely, gesturing behind him where Reina hung her head.

Her hands stopped short of his body, she looked up at his glasses before responding, “My name is Ms. Shimuzu, I run Sanya Children’s Home. I used to take care of Reina Iyashi though it seems she’s moved on to,” She paused and trailed his length with her gaze, “other things.”

Gojo cocked his head to the side, staring down at the woman. Ms. Shimuzu peered around him, fixing her sights on Reina.

“What do you have to say for yourself, girl?” she asked sternly.

“I’m sorry, Ms. Shimuzu. I really was going to write a letter at least but,” She faltered, she didn’t know why she hadn’t reached out. This woman was as close as she would ever get to having a mother yet she still treated her like a child. 

“I’ve been keeping her so busy at work,” Gojo finished for her, leaning down to catch Ms. Shimuzu’s attention. “Obviously raised well, she’s such a diligent employee,”

Flattered at the compliment, she puffed up slightly - leading them to the living room area.

“So, why did you deign us with your presence, Reina?” Ms. Shimuzu inquired, casting her a sideways glare. 

Reina swallowed hard before responding, “I’m looking for someone. Her name is Sakura Fukanaga.”

Ms. Shimuzu let out a deep sigh, “Oh, god, what did she do this time?”

“Nothing,” replied Reina hurriedly. “I want to talk to her, that's all.”

“Well, I’m sure you’ll have a lot to converse about. That is, if you can get her to cooperate.” she said dismissively, she gestured to the stairs. “Her room is on the third floor, 39.”

They headed up the long spiral staircase, Reina stared down at the wood - the tension palpable. 

Gojo leaned down, “She’s a delight,” he said in a low voice, holding a hand up over his mouth in an attempt to muffle his words.

Reina didn’t respond, her stare fixed on the steps. 

Approaching the door, they could hear a young girl talking to someone with no response. Reina scrunched her face, reaching a hand out to knock on the door.

“I’m busy!” yelled out an irritated voice.

“Too bad!” Reina shouted back. The door was yanked roughly, the young girl stood in the opening - glaring up at her.

“You’re that lady on the street,” she said, her gaze trailing her up and down. 

“And you’re that brat who has no manners,” Reina responded, walking forward into the room. 

“Better than being some old maid, towing along a white haired freak.” Sakura retorted, scoffing as Reina passed her. 

Gojo gasped, one hand reaching up to smooth back a tendril that had fallen over his glasses. Reina whipped towards Sakura, her eyes ablaze.

“He’s not some freak, well-” she halted, Gojo was a freak but the young girl had no business criticizing him. “He has many quirks but he doesn’t deserve to be ridiculed by some snot nosed kid.”

Sakura’s brows furrowed, “Listen, lady, what do you want?”

“You can see them, can’t you?” Reina asked, her eyes softening as she stiffened in response. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” responded Sakura. She had let go of the door, walking over to the desk to sit down. Gojo leaned against the frame, his eyes darting back and forth between the two.

“You’ve always been able to see them but now it’s harder to ignore them,” Reina stepped towards her. “You can feel them, they track you down sometimes. They hurt your friends but they don’t know why.”

The girl's eyes widened, her breathing increased as Reina continued. 

“No one else can see them and they don’t believe you when you tell them. They make fun of you, call you names,” Her voice softened. “Is that why you were running? That green curse was chasing you?”

“Leave me alone!” exclaimed Sakura, standing up from the desk.

“We can see them, too,” Reina responded calmly, gesturing to Gojo. “Let us help you.”

“Get out!” she yelled, tears threatening to spill from her eyes.

Reina walked out of the room, watching as Sakura slammed the door. 

——————————————————————————————————

Slowly following the sidewalk up to the apartment building, Gojo fell in step with her. He glanced at Reina intermittently, it had been a quiet walk home. He had made various comments that would normally warrant a swift smack - instead she hadn’t even furrowed her brows. 

This seemed to greatly unsettle him.

Riding the elevator, they exited onto their floor and stopped abruptly. Sakura sat outside of the door, looking up and making eye contact with Reina.

“I can see them,” she said softly.

“How did you beat us up here?” asked Gojo, looking around for whoever had accompanied her.

“I’m really fast,” she replied with a shrug.

Reina opened the door, gesturing for Sakura to enter. Gojo peeked around the corner, ensuring there hadn’t been someone who had driven her. Reina shot him an incredulous look, waving her hand - an indication to hurry inside. 

He held his hands up defensively, sliding past her through the entry. 

They settled into the living area, Sakura sat cross legged on the floor - staring at the carpet. Reina fidgeted with her skirt, hoping she would break the silence. 

“So? Anyone seen any good animes lately?” Gojo inquired, clapping his hands to his knees.

Reina and Sakura glared at him - the young girl shook her head before stating, “There’s something in the attic.”

The two leaned forward as Sakura continued, “Ms. Shimuzu keeps it locked, I hear noises coming from it every once in a while. It became a dare to see how close you could get to the door. My friend Misaki got all the way up there but now she’s,” she paused, swallowing hard. “...different.”

“How so?” replied Reina, smoothing out her skirt.

“I don’t know. She’s just…weird now. She mumbles to herself a lot and stays up all night.” her brows furrowed, sadness saturating her expression.

“We’ll help you,” Reina stated, standing from the couch. Gojo stared up at her before returning his attention to Sakura. He stood abruptly, settling in next to her.

“Yes, we will,” He said, saluting the young girl.

“Are you always this weird?” Sakura asked. 

“Yes,” responded Reina - stifling a laugh. She patted Gojo on the shoulder comfortingly as his face fell.

——————————————————————————————————

Reina stood outside of the orphanage, admiring the building - memories of young girls playing in the front yard streaking her memory. She smiled before striding towards the entrance, Gojo lagging slightly behind her. 

She held out her arm, pointing out the splintered wood frame, “Watch out, that’s how I ended up with six stitches in my toe.” Gojo hopped over it gracefully before walking into the familiar space.

Sakura stood at the bottom of the stairs, motioning for the two to follow. 

The staircase gave way to another level, filled with various hallways containing rooms for the children.

“Where is the attic?” inquired Reina as she took a few tentative steps forward. 

“Over there,” Sakura pointed down a long hallway with no doors that led to a weathered staircase. The lightbulb that illuminated the space flickered intermittently.

“Spooky,” whispered Gojo.

“Very,” responded Sakura.

Reina walked to the staircase, investigating the area. Gojo stepped next to her, sliding his fingers along the bannister.

“There’s cursed energy here but not as much as I thought there would be,” he mentioned before climbing the steps. 

“I don’t feel anything,” commented Reina as she followed him. Gojo broke the lock and pushed the door open.

The wood flooring spread forward giving way to a large window that overlooked the street. The space was filled with boxes lining the walls haphazardly, a thin layer of dust coating the room.

Reina rummaged through one of the boxes closest to her - full of pictures, awards, keepsakes of a stranger. She threw it a puzzled look before moving on to the next.

Sakura stood at the top of the stairs, hesitant to take a step into the space. Gojo walked over to her, standing protectively next to the bannister, “You’re safe,” he said comfortingly. 

She faltered before entering the room, glancing at Gojo momentarily before stepping past him. Sakura walked to where Reina was standing, peering over the box. 

“That’s Misaki’s parents,” she pointed at the picture. 

Reina jolted, a realization hitting her as she turned to examine the room, “These are all the belongings of these kid’s dead families,” she said to Gojo.

“That’s a little morbid,” he replied, picking up a baseball from another box - tossing it in the air. 

They continued to search the room in an attempt to gather information about the curse, Sakura sat on the floor looking through photos.

Reina rested next to her, gazing over her shoulder. “They died in a fire,” she stated - pointing at the picture of Sakura and a young woman holding onto a young man. “Dad told me to run as fast as I could,”

“I was around your age when I lost my family,” Reina said softly. “I blamed myself for years, I didn’t talk until I was eleven. Like a personal punishment.”

A tear slipped down Sakura’s cheek as she caressed the photo, “How did you stop?” she whispered.

Reina paused for a moment, thinking of how to respond, “I found people who make me feel something,” she stated. “They taught me that I did everything that I could,”

She put a comforting hand on Sakura’s back, “That is all anyone can ask.”

——————————————————————————————————

The three investigated various portions of the house to no avail. There weren’t any obvious signs of a curse. 

“Maybe we can come back,” reasoned Reina as they had finished searching the last closet. “If you see something, you can call us.”

Sakura hung her head momentarily before meeting her gaze, “Please, I know it’s here.”

A crash sounded from the attic, echoing down the steps. Racing back in its direction, the three re-entered the room

A cloud of dust was settling in the wake of a thrown box - glass sprinkling the ground. 

A small face peeked from behind a box, ducking quickly back into its hiding spot.

“Found ya,” said Reina. She pulled a kaiken from her thigh, walking towards where it had been last.

A box flew through the air, Reina dodged it quickly. Gojo jumped out of its way as various items slid across the ground. 

The curse scurried along the wall, its body resembling a little boy with red scales. It leaped towards Gojo who knocked it back, it splayed along the ground before recovering - racing in Reina’s direction.

She braced herself for the impact, it sprung into the air towards her as she knocked it to the ground - the kaiken connecting with the side of its face, narrowly missing the neck. 

Reina cursed and prepared herself for its next action. Gojo stood behind it, waiting.

The little boy bounded across the ground towards Reina, sliding in between her legs. She whipped around to see what its strategy was. 

Sakura stood a few feet away, in front of the window - watching as the curse raced towards her. She shakily spread her feet and raised her fists. Reina sprinted in their direction.

The boy clawed at her, Sakura dodged it taking a step backwards. Reina hit the curse to the side, her arm extending forward for her. 

In a moment, Sakura was colliding with the glass as it shattered around her - falling. She reached out her hand in a desperate attempt to save herself, a gasp the only sound that escaped her lips. 

Reina grasped her hand, pulling her to her body as she slipped through the window. She tucked Sakura tightly to her chest and turned herself so that her back would be the first to hit the ground. 

They careened towards the concrete, Reina reasoned that there were worse ways to die than for someone else. 

In her last moments, she did find herself regretting not telling Gojo how thankful she was for him - she hoped he knew how much he meant to her.

She shut her eyes tight as Sakura screamed, preparing for the impact. 

Suddenly her body lightened, falling softly into strong arms. Reina opened her eyes, Gojo stared down at her with a look she had never seen before.

Sakura gripped her tightly, she sat up and looked around frantically before they both slid from his arms to the ground.

“Why is it that you are so quick to give your life for others?” He asked, a hint of anger in his voice.

Reina faltered - she had never heard him take this tone. “I don’t know, it’s a worthy cause?” she replied.

“There are people who need you here, Iyashi.” he stated, staring at her intently. “You are useless to them dead.”

He turned and walked back into the building, he had eliminated the curse in the altercation - she could see its body hanging from the window pane. 

Reina wrestled with Gojo’s words - the only people who had cared whether she lived or died had perished fifteen years ago. The idea that anyone needed her was foreign. 

She could think of no one immediately who would even inquire if she disappeared one day. Even Ms. Shizumu abandoned her search eventually. 

Her eyes widened as a sudden thought crossed her mind. Reina could think of one person who would never stop looking for her. 

Was it possible that the one who needed her most was Satoru Gojo?

——————————————————————————————————

Note to reader: Listen, I know what you guy's want. Let's just say...soon.

————���—————————————————————————————

chapter twelve

[crossdressingdeath]

It's so weird to me seeing people insist that all Rooks are going to be the exact same with no real variation between them besides the names based on the fact that they all get involved with the Veilguard after prioritizing saving lives over their faction (if you look at the blurbs even the "they go against orders to save people" angle only applies to Thorne, the others didn't know or didn't have actual orders to go against, and even "prioritizing lives over their faction" doesn't apply to Mercar (going against slavers is kind of their job and the Shadow Dragons want them out of sight to protect them) or de Riva (they didn't actually know about the wider mission at stake and could easily have assumed that their superiors urging caution didn't mean letting civilians die)). For a few reasons, actually. First and most obviously... people are making a lot of assumptions based on the very brief and vague backstory overview you get at the start of the game. The character introductions we get at the start of the game have always been a brief overview with no emotional details; the details come in the game proper (which is also when Rook will I'm sure get the chance to discuss how they feel about their faction and the events that led to them leaving it; it's very strange to me that so many people seem convinced we won't get to make decisions about that based from what I've seen solely on the single paragraph of background information we get before the game even starts). Bioware didn't stop in the CC of DAO, DA2 or DAI to ask us exactly how our character felt about their background, they let us decide that for ourselves during the game, and I really don't understand why people are assuming it'll be different here.

Secondly it's based on a massively oversimplified view of what exactly happens in each backstory blurb. I mean there is of course the general setup of each character's background before the incident that led them to the Veilguard (do not come here and try to tell me that a baby found by the undead and raised by necromancers in Nevarra is the exact same as a kid raised by a military family in Tevinter, using the two whose childhoods we have any information on as an example; they are not the same and would have very different viewpoints on the world), but there's more to it. The actual incidents are quite different if you look at them beyond that basic "prioritized lives over the faction's best interests" angle! Aldwir choosing to give up a valuable artefact to save their teammates isn't the same as Thorne refusing to wait for reinforcements when a nearby village would be destroyed before they arrived, which isn't the same as Laidir pissing off the nobles and risking drawing the authorities' ire down on the Lords by killing a corrupt noble, which isn't the same as de Riva unknowingly compromising a larger mission by rescuing Antivan citizens taken captive by the Antaam. These are different events! Saying they're all the same is a very, very simplified read of them!

But I'm sure people will still argue that they're too similar because of that very simplified read. To that I say: every Warden is the exact same because they all get involved in a dangerous event and then get recruited by Duncan. Every Inquisitor is the exact same because they all go to the Conclave and pick up the Anchor. The details of their backgrounds and their thoughts on those backgrounds and their dialogue that's impacted by their backgrounds don't matter, the inciting incident is the same so clearly they're all the exact same character and the only things that change are names, classes and aesthetics.

...Stupid, right? Obviously if you boil down the protagonist of an RPG to the most basic description possible they're going to appear the same as every other possible protagonist of that RPG. The protagonist needs a plot hook to get them involved in the main story and that plot hook is always going to be similar to every other potential protagonist's plot hook. The Warden needs to be in a situation where they would get recruited by Duncan, and it makes for easier writing if that happens in a situation where there's a good chance they'd be grateful for it. The Inquisitor needs to get the Anchor. And in this game Rook needs to be in a position where their faction wants or needs them out of the way for whatever reason and Varric would want to take them for the Veilguard. With those two factors in mind, them putting innocent lives over their faction (for lack of a better way of putting it, see my comment on Mercar and de Riva in the first paragraph) is a good choice. It's something that ensures their faction will encourage or order them to join up and something that would encourage Varric to pick them! If you agree that it's stupid to claim all Wardens or Inquisitors are the exact same regardless of backstory because of the inciting incident that gets them into the plot (which I assume everyone does), then don't automatically assume that all Rooks are going to be the same because of their inciting incidents having some similarities.

[honestlyreadingruinedmylife]

That’s amazing. Of course everyone needs to start somewhere. Of course I understand not everyone likes writing smut.

Young Charles Xavier x reader. She’s also has a mutation. She’s kicked out by her parents when they find out that her boyfriend is in a wheelchair. She turns up in the pouring rain with her puppy under her jacket to keep them dry and a black eye because her dad hit her (you don’t have to write that just imply it)

Hope that’s not to detailed but wanted to give you as much detail as I could to help you write it.

Can you please tag me in any future X-Men fanfiction you write.

Xx

A.N: Okay, I finally got around to finishing this. I'm actually quite proud of it given it's my first time EVER writing fanfiction and especially with it being a request. I hope you enjoy it even though it is a bit cliche at times. Also, there is slight ableism given the prompt, I did some research to make sure I wasn't using any slurs but if I am wrong PLEASE let me know. I will change it.

Word Count: 1251

Pairing: Young Charles Xavier x Female!Reader

Warnings: Ableism (Only a small sentence), gets kind angsty

You didn’t really know how they had found out. You were so careful. Building a wall of lies so thick and so far that you could no longer see the ends. 

You suppose that somewhere along the lines you’d missed a spot, one vital brick that tumbled down the entirety of your life. 

Your parents had only just started getting around to the idea of having a ‘freak’ of a daughter. Constantly telling you how lucky you were to at least look ‘normal’ and not like those ‘other ones’. 

You were one of the good ones. 

They had laid the rules out simply. They didn’t care about your abilities as long as they stayed outside the house and as long as you married a ‘regular human being’. It seemed simple enough and studying for a masters (which they paid for) you figured one more year of hiding wouldn’t be so difficult.

What you never considered was falling madly in love with another mutant. You’d been convinced for so long that you were completely alone in the walls you’d built, that when you met a man who could literally tear them apart you had no choice but to let yourself go.

The argument had started at dinner. It’d been a long day of research which had resulted in nothing but a dead end. Exhausted from sitting reading at a desk all day, you just wanted to get through the traditional family dinner and get straight into bed.

You were sitting in your usual chair, facing your mother while your father sat at the head of the table. It’d been eerily silent from the moment you’d sat down but didn’t mind given your exhaustion.

Suddenly, your father put down his utensils, “I’ve set up a dinner, next week with the neighbors boy,”

Thinking you hadn’t heard correctly, you turn to face him, “pardon?”

“It’s about time that you start thinking of settling down,” your father continues, “most normal girls your age are on their way to having their first child,”

You hear the implication in his voice even if he hadn’t outright said it. Irritated, you push your plate away.

“I am a normal girl, dad,” 

You hear your mother sigh, but you can’t seem to look away from your fathers face that twitches in irritation.

“You know what I meant,” he says your name as if it's a burden. He says it as if you were a curse on his normalcy.

You roll your eyes, “yes I know exactly what you meant, father, and I’m not going to be dressed up like some doll to be paraded for the neighbors boy,”

Another twitch, you know you are pushing him too far, but you can’t seem to care anymore.

“He is of good breeding and a wealthy background,” he picks up his utensils again, “the dinner will be on Monday,”

“Breeding?! I’m not cattle, father,” 

Your fathers face contorts into a scowl and you know he’s losing patience with you, “He will assure you are the last of your kind in my bloodline,”

You can feel your whole body shaking, “I will not go to that dinner, father,”

You hear your mother whisper your name, you suddenly realize that the shaking wasn’t just within your body but the whole house. With your emotions rampant you couldn’t control your powers as naturally as you normally could.

Breathing in and breathing out, you calm yourself enough to stop the shaking. Your father, however, is maroon with malice. You have pushed him too far.

“I will not let my grandchildren be the offspring of a freak and a paralytic!”

You feel your heart stop. Your mind is racing, unstoppable thoughts wreak havoc in your head. He knew. He knew and now your life is over.

“Father-”

“You thought I wouldn’t find out?” Your father continues to yell, “you thought I’d let you disobey me without consequence?”

You could feel your breathing increase as you enter a panic. Everything is muffled, your father continues yelling but you can’t hear a thing he is saying. You have to get away. You have to get to Charles. 

Without realizing, you stand, turning to leave the table, trying to find an escape. With one step, your father is in front of you, rough hands clamping down on your shoulders, forcing you still.

“Let me go,” you whisper, looking down away from your father. 

“I forbid you from seeing that man again!” 

“Let me go,” you feel the ground tremble beneath you.

“He’s one of you isn’t he?” Your fathers grip tightens on your shoulders, “he’s a freak!”

“Let me go!” You shout back in his face. You don’t initially feel the strike, but you can feel the heat begin to blossom around your eye. And you feel the ground erupt into endless shudders as you watch your father lose his balance and fall to the floor.

With the last of your strength, you run towards your room grabbing your research and your puppy that likes to sleep under your bed. As you race to the front door, you glance at your mother fussing over your father, who is still laid on the floor.

Stopping you turn to face your parents, “I am not a freak. Just because I am different doesn’t mean I’m lesser than,”

You turn to open the front door and with foot out your childhood home, you turn one last time, “I’ll never treat my children the way you’ve treated me, mutant or not,”

With those final words, you run into the rain, hailing the first taxi you see.

It wasn’t until you were at Charles’ front door, drenched and with your puppy under your coat, that you realized how bleak your situation truly was. 

No home, no parents, no education. 

With nothing left to lose, you knock as loudly as you can, hoping anyone would hear you over the pounding rain.

Almost immediately, the door swings open. 

Hank at first looks at you with confusion and then concern. He drags you inside and in the same breath yells for Charles.

The second you see Charles look of concern as he approaches you, you feel the tears start to form in your eyes. Finally able to let go, you feel yourself crumble with the weight of the night.

In no time, Charles holds you in his arms, stroking your soaked hair, whispering into your ear, “it’s okay darling you’re safe now, you’re safe here,”

Once you’ve calmed down, you pull away from him holding your own weight again. His hands don’t leave your face, careful with your already bruising eye.

He whispers your name. He whispers it like prayer, like there’s no one else in the world except you and him. He strokes your cheek with his thumb, “How about we run you a warm bath?”

With no strength left to speak and knowing you didn’t need to, you nod into his hands, closing your eyes and soaking in the comforting warmth he exudes. From within your jacket, you feel your puppy shuffle, stuck in between your torso and Charles’ legs. Pulling away slightly, your puppy leaps away from you and begins sniffing around Charles’ wheelchair.

“I see you’ve brought a friend, darling,” he chuckles, as he watches your puppy continuing to adventure.

You hiccup trying to find the words, “I couldn’t leave him in that house,”

Charles looks back at you, his blue eyes wide adoration, “he has a home here, he’ll always a home here,”

[deiaiko]

#19.3 Unravel

It had been some time since Agni felt this nervous. Not even talking with Jinsung Ha recently had made him feel like this. He fiddled with the mask on his hand as he waited for Grace to come back. He had thought hard on how to deliver the news, but he knew that no matter how he phrased it, Grace would be upset. Velt nuzzled under his palm and Agni gave her a few pats, before deciding that she would be better inside her bowl in his lighthouse, just in case the shinsu acted up around Grace after he received the news.

Grace came back wearing the comfiest shirt and shorts Agni knew Grace liked to wear on lazy days. He joined him on the floor, and they ate dinner together. Agni always finished last, so while waiting for him to finish his meal, Grace told him about his day with Bam. Grace was intrigued by how much his way of thinking had changed, and how glad he was to be able to be by Bam's side when he was having a bad day. It reminded Agni of the hidden floor, when Grace faced his sworn enemy.

They left the used bowls on the coffee table and went to brush their teeth. Afterwards, they turned off the light and went upstairs to sit on their bed. Grace's curious gaze never left him, and Agni curled his feet nervously.

Grace was the one who broke the silence. "So…what is it?"

Agni's breath hitched. This was the part he dreaded most. "I talked with the crocodile earlier. Did you know that he could manipulate stone already?"

"Huh." Grace needed a few seconds to let the information sink in. "Didn't Rak learn it on the Hell train? How does he know it?"

"Turns out our crocodile also traveled back to the past like us. He found the young crocodile and taught him."

"What?!" Grace gasped, wide eyed. "That means our Rak is–!!"

"He's dead." Agni quickly snuffed out that hope. They had been in delusion for long enough; it was time that they faced the bitter truth. "He suffered a fatal injury from the explosion. He couldn't have lasted long without proper help." Agni omitted the actual cause for Rak's death, but still kept his words true. "I'm sorry."

"…Oh." Grace looked lost, just like Agni was. His lips parted a little, but they closed before any sound escaped.

Agni gently squeezed Grace's hand, encouraging and comforting as he let the silence stretch on, giving Grace some time to process the information.

"Agni…" Grace whispered, "do you think Hatz and Isu…?"

Agni bit his lip and avoided his gaze, as the nightmare of that day replayed in his mind. He witnessed Hatz get his arms ripped off when trying to protect him. He could still recall the clang of a sword hitting the floor, and Hatz's suppressed scream that gnawed deep at his guilt. He witnessed Isu get beheaded after being taken hostage, the memory of warm blood painting them both still vivid like it happened yesterday. 

Agni refused to acknowledge their possible deaths, because it felt like a nightmare that one day he could hopefully wake up from. He avoided the topic when Grace brought it up, so he wouldn't have to say it aloud and make it real. He had been so hard on himself, because he couldn't get rid of the feeling that he had failed Grace and everyone else involved.

Agni knew this had to change if he wanted to live better, now that they had gotten a second chance. So he swallowed down the lump in his throat that had built up over the years and asked mostly to himself; "What are the odds of their survival?"

"There's always a chance–"

"Grace." Agni looked him straight in the eye. "They were already severely injured before the explosion hit."

Grace fell silent and went still.

Agni felt a pang of guilt upon witnessing Grace's reaction. "Sorry. I didn't mean to snap." Agni fiddled with his hands. He realized that he didn't know how much Grace knew of what happened. "My scar…do you know how I got it?"

"I…was told it was from the family heads' battle." Grace looked thoughtful. Agni knew he was trying to be careful with his words. "A stray attack?"

"It could have been worse." The memory of the scorching heat on his skin felt like it had only happened yesterday. He passed out right when he was about to heal Isu, and only found out later that he also lost sweetfish at that time. The days he spent recovering from the burn, to withstand the excruciating pain every second he was conscious, and finally coming to terms that it'd be a permanent scar, was one of the turning points that had changed him forever. Were Grace not there to care for him, he might have ended up destroying himself even more.

Agni hadn't realized he had his left hand clawing on his cheek until Grace pried his hand off and frowned, "You're doing it again."

"Maybe I should wear the mask…" Agni muttered to himself. After all, Grace gave it to him less so he could hide the scar but more to prevent him from unconsciously hurting himself. The only time he could safely take it off was when Grace was around.

Agni bit his lip nervously when Grace didn't reply. He no longer had the courage to look Grace in the eye that spoke so much concern, so he leaned close and rested his head on Grace's chest. "Rak, Isu, Hatz and Hwaryun were trying to get me out of that damned place. But we were caught while escaping, and…it was a bloodbath. I was…too occupied to react to the incoming heat. Rak shielded us from the explosion. And when I woke up…"

"They weren’t with you," Grace finished it for him after Agni trailed off a moment too long.

Agni nodded dazedly, "I've been telling myself that they're still alive, after a blow that could kill rankers. But…who am I kidding? I was lucky enough to survive with just this little–" Agni vaguely pointed to himself– "inconvenience."

Agni felt a hand gripping his arm, and he pulled away to see Grace looking at him with a pained expression. His eyes were glossy and his lips were pulled into a thin line. Trusting his instinct, Agni reached out to gently trace and cup Grace's cheek with his free hand.

"I'm sorry," Agni muttered. "I'm sorry, for not telling you sooner."

Agni silently witnessed tears that streamed down on his love's face. It was a bitter sight that Agni wished he'd never have to see again, that he had tried to avoid for so long by not telling him. He pulled Grace in and held him close to his chest, as if Agni was trying to gather his own crumbled heart back together.

Grace mumbled their late best friends' names as he held onto him tighter, shaking from each breath he took between sniffles.

Agni felt his own eyes sting with unshed tears. He remembered the years he spent climbing the tower together with his old team. Despite their banter being his source of headaches, Agni knew he too had come to acknowledge them as his cherished friends. Only when they were gone did Agni realize how much he'd miss having them around. Seeing the younger them didn't exactly close the gaping hole in his heart, but at least the emptiness was more filled.

Agni squeezed Grace tighter. "We have their younger selves with us now. We will protect them better this time."

Grace only nodded and sank further into his embrace. And Agni planted kisses on his hair, relishing the thought that after everything he had gone through, Grace was still a constant in his life. As long as he had him, everything would be okay.

When Grace started shaking again, Agni caressed his hair and hummed a comfort song they had known by heart. Still, it didn't make falling asleep any easier for Agni, especially not after admitting that his nightmare was very much real. However, as he had been through grief…this, too, would pass.

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[tootalltech]

okay. i feel like theres still Some People who may check the land of stories tag on here the way i occasionally do i know theres some fans of the series here at least. since a while back i wrote out an entire paragraph to briefly explain why im insane about lloyd bailey to my friends who dont know tlos, i figure, WHY NOT POST IT ON HERE where people who also know the series (and therefore this character) might see it <3 its at least a little funny to see how i try to explain things in tlos like the hall of dreams briefly with little to no details. this is also kind of like a brief summation of everything we know about lloyd AND JOHNS childhood which is interesting. see below.

sits down. let me set the scene. lloyd bailey is the younger son in a set of two. his mother is a very powerful fairy (#fairygodmother) who’s kind of like the chancellor of an entire kingdom. lloyd and his older brother john both very much have magic in their blood because of this. lloyd’s father dies when he is very young. he is “not the same” afterwards. he thinks his older brother john, who handles his fathers passing arguably “better”, is the favorite child. john is happy and cheerful and everyone loves him. lloyd sits in his dark room and reads books like the iron mask all day. lloyd’s mother does not know how to get to him. she figures out how to make a potion that can bring books to life, since he likes to read so much. she offers it to him. he turns her down. she goes into this magic little hallway (infinite space) where she can see what people truly desire. lloyd the 11 year olds desire (i don’t know how old he is.) is to take over the world. hm. a bit concerning. his mother takes him out into the forest on a nice walk, chains him to a tree, and drains his magic from him. lloyd is not a fan of his mother for this. he tells her that she never would’ve done this to john. his mother considers her action stopping him before he wreaks havoc on everything. lloyd considers this having his “birthright” stripped from him for “a crime [he] never committed” (direct quote). lloyd despises his mother. he runs away from home not long after. he considers the potion his mother made his. he only comes back home to try and steal it. he fails. he is sentenced to life in prison. his mother gives him a mask to wear so no one knows he’s her son. john moves to the otherworld and starts a family. lloyd rots in prison. lloyd’s son who he doesn’t know about is born. lloyd rots in prison. john dies. lloyd rots in prison. his mother loves john’s children and starts to train one of them in being her successor. this could’ve been lloyd. lloyd rots in prison. he doesn’t escape until his niece and nephew are teenagers and his niece is about ten times more powerful than him. because she has the gift that was ripped out of his hands. lloyd hates the world he lives in and its people and seeks to destroy it as soon as he’s out. i wonder why. in conclusion. im normal about him.

[purpurussy]

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