#and logged onto my tumblr to put them in my drafts

[hi-iamjaysohn-iamsmall]

[wonderloste]

DEAR ALICE ... IN SHORT , HAPPY NEW YEAR FROM THOSE OF US IN WONDERLAND TO YOU , OUTSIDER ! / OH SHIT ANOTHER NEW YEARS POST FROM SOMEONE ON YOUR DASH ?! yes, that's me! i don't want to ramble too long, but i do want to thank everyone who has supported me on this blog over the past year & especially with how chaotic it's been on my end. i know my activity hasn't been great this year and i've been struggling a lot, but i still appreciate so much the people who have stuck by me & still interacted with me despite all the stuff i've been going through. <4 being here & talking to everyone & getting in interactions where i could has helped make 2022 a better and less lonely year than it would have been, otherwise.

i'm so sorry to people who i've let down when it comes to interactions & getting back to them through messages and whatnot. 2022 was genuinely such a rough year for me, but i am infinitely more grateful that in spite of those things, so many of you have still decided to stick with me. this blog was... so ambitious when i made it & i honestly didn't think i'd make it this far or that anyone would have any interest in a bunch of random furry ocs KJNEMRKHJM. i was just a fan of otome with a will to roleplay & a dream :') but you all have given so much love to these ocs and i can't thank you enough.

i hope that moving forward i'm able to interact with more of you!! and to continue interactions with those i've already started them with!! or rekindle ones that got caught up in my absence. thank you so much for your patience with me, & for sticking around! i hope you all have a HAPPY HAPPY NEW YEAR & that 2023 is kind to us!!

now let's point some fingers under the cut ehehehehe.

— FAMNESIA ... my little discord group clowns ! most of us have been in the discord for like, what? 6 years now? or smth? we spend pretty much every day together, both on & off tumblr rp so !

@londonfallen › ew it's my fiance AAAAAAAA MICHAEL. thank you so much for everything you do for me on this blog!! i'm so thankful to you, it's partially thanks to you this darn thing even exists. you rlly do fund so much content on here & i'm always thankful to have you participate in lore & art uwu i know this year has been especially rough on us, but hopefully 2023 will help us get back on our feet & you'll find your will to keep writing !! you've been doing so good lately look at you go <4 you rose out of the dead for silas and gave him love at first sight can u believe it... your blog & lore has so much thought put into it, i wish you'd be kinder to yourself and less mean to the things you create. your art & writing is beautiful u should be bragging on the dash 24/7 about how cool you are, actually. ily thank u for making the year better even when it was miserable on us, we're going to have the most disgusting wedding ever one day when we can afford mickey mouse wedding us before the eyes of kami-sama, our lord and savior mr. walt disney!!

@kusaranai › your ass doesn't even log onto tumblr anymore biancnya so i'll have to link this to your dms BUT I'M INCLUDING YOU ANYWAYS BC I CAN NEVER MAKE THESE POSTS WITHOUT YOU. i love u my wonderful furry waifu !! by wonderful i mean cursed and by waifu i mean the sleep paralysis demon i see when i get choked out in phasmophboia. my career on tumblr really blossomed when you came into my life and ruined it uwu and it will continue to blossom now that u are long gone and only annoy me on discord ! SOMEWHERE LIGHT AND KUMA LIVE ON. somewhere, even more importantly, i still have light telling kurisu that he loves her shoved into my drafts on an abandoned blog...

@galaxiasus › THE SMOL OF THE GROUP AAAAAAAAA LUNYA. i'm so glad that you've been around more often this year, even though it's been hard on everyone bc 2022 was phew. man it sure was huh. KJNERHKJN as always i'm so glad seeing you on my dash but i'm even more glad that you've actually remained active icb it </4 ur the only person who didn't abandon me on tumblr for 5 years until ren joined us, we were the sole beacons of rp together for a long while and we have so many good ships bc of it!! you're such a joy to write with and your writing is amazing 10/10 idc wtf you say lmfao. i'm so glad i got to rejoin famnesia and reconnect with you and i look forward to holding ur hair back while u scream cry throw up at the end of endwalker !! i'm sorry i'm so slow with dms but rest assured seeing u screaming in them always brightens my day

@zorkaya › REN REN REN REN aaaaaaaaaaaaa. did u know i used to be scared of you when i was a wee little unicorn... many blogs ago... tragic KEJRNHM. I'M SO GLAD that you joined the famnesia server and got to talk with all of us more often!! ofc we've been friends by proxy for a good couple years, but i'm happier to get the chance to talk to you more consistently / often :') you're such a sweet and super cool person, and your writing is so good !! thank u for teaching my fiance and my cohealer how to write pr0n. uwu zarina is such a beautiful & well developed character!! i'm so proud of you for picking up a strong female villain and sticking with her even though the rpc can be whiny when it comes to them. zarina DESERVES to be op and anyone who cries about it is a weak baby bitch. i look forward to writing more with you moving forward !! on all blogs !! with all my muses !!! take the whole roster idc

@eidetic187 › HI VERONICA UR ALSO NEW IN THESE PARTS, i'm just as glad to see you among our msging chaos throughout the day !! even though our schedules are different bc you're on night shift, it's always fun to wake up and see what's transpired in chat lmFAO. finally someone who appreciates the visual novel classics just like me !! kicks really cursed dating sims under the rug so that they cannot be seen. we don't look at those. we're all super glad to have you around partaking in all our discussions and i hope that the next year is kinder to you in every possible way !! also that you and your partner have a hella good new year together once you get out of work and are able to chill together :') we've been mutuals for like 500 years i feel like you were on my first follow forever tm {remember those} on monokuma and u will be on the last one when tumblr burns

@hakureimaiden › omg u came back just in time to force me to write more ppl on this post icb it /j IRMA WELCOME BACK TO THE HELLSITE i've been here on my lonesome for so long except the occasional showing of michael and luna, it's nice to see one of the og muses has survived since the disney murder game days... as always you are a pleasure on both the dash And in the chat!! you brought a lot of really neat friends together by merging our groups together and it's made things super fun getting into xiv and stuff with you!! i'm not always the most :') timely ship partner when it comes to msgs with how whack i've been this year, but i'm hoping wITH NEW ENERGY IN 2023 we can develop romesen... carmeo.... yeah carmeo, WE CAN DEVELOP THEM MORE KJERNHM. regina george is romeo's type? man. would not have guessed. UR SUCH A SWEET CHILL PERSON I HOPE U KNOW FAMNESIA FISTBUMPS WITH U.

@rotinthedark › HALEEEEEEEEEEY i know talking thru groups and stuff isn't ur thing and i'm naturally quiet on discord BUT U STILL GET TO BE HERE because :') we have worked so very hard for the sebalex ship and they are FINALLY making headway and i'm so excited for it!! alex? having a crush on seb? it is a-go, we are THERE, we have MADE IT KEJRNHM you're such a nice & fun person to talk to, and i absolutely ADORE writing with you!! sometimes our interactions are what keeps my love for stardew alive just bc i have like 500 hrs on it and sometimes i'm like broe what else can i even do... i can log on and reply to haley... that's what i can do... i had never thought of sebalex as a ship too srsly until writing with you and now it CONSUMES me i am broken. pls.

— SPECIAL ALICES ...

@dangaer › hi jupiter <4 i want u to know that your blog is one of my favs on this hellsite, i hope you know that the way you write ALL of your muses is so very pleasing to read. all their characterizations are genuinely SO GOOD. i've mentioned it before but even characters i didn't like much or just didn't consider v often are characters you've made me care about just seeing you talk about / write them on the dash!! like ofc i am so intensely biased to the amnesia muses bc that otome has... a very special place in my heart but despite what our rp history may make u think!!! i have played others!! KJNEMRH and your characters are SPOT ON, always, without fail. i love our ships & threads / interactions, even though i can be slow getting to stuff !!! the dynamic we've built up with ikki and darcy is one of my favs, i love them SO MUCH and idk i just think. they're like. kinda valid for wanting to destroy wonderland and stay together. the normal ending? a good option. i support them. i can't WAIT to see aleister and kageyuki's dynamic grow likewise, i know i'm going to love it just as much!! thank you so much for writing with me & support my dumb otome ocs :') i know they aren't a Real Otome, but it is v sweet to be indulged as if they are. i'm in tears rn actively.

@redemptioninterlude › HENLO FRIEND u might be surprised to find yourself here, but :') i do keep up with your blog quite often actually. i know that i've dropped the ball on interactions a lot, this year has been so... much for me, & my activity really suffered, but i want you to know that i LOVE your blog!! and all of what we HAVE done together! and while i love alice specifically, for obvs reasons, i do also read your other threads / dynamics that you put on the dash and pls know that your writing slaps KJNERHM literally there's never a miss, from rue euphoria to ur interesting and well developed ocs, all of them are written in a way that's so amazing to read. you take such a diverse cast & breathe so much life into them, and i'm very lucky to be able to perceive your content when it gets posted. i hope in 2023 we're able to interact together more frequently !! :squeezes my wonderlandians like they're squeaky toys: i want to get a handle on my content SO BADLY and get stuff going with you again, on god !!

@heincus › maaaaaax i already yelled as you over your muses a lot, but i'll yell again!! so help me after i get moved into my new apartment after the holidays i would LOVE to figure out some match ups / dynamics between our muses because all your ocs have so much love / care put into them and they're all SO MUCH fun!! i love how much passion you have for writing, and how boundless your imagination is. ocs are HARD to write, you have to come up with a lot and juggle world building and character building and all the things, but you make it look so effortless :') your roster is full of so many colorful and expansive personalities and stories. i want to pick them up like barbie dolls and throw them at whatever the fuck weirdos are on my own roster and simply see what sticks. the possibilities? endless. rlly though your writing is so good, you should be proud of what you've created on your blog and i am so glad that i get to interact with you during times i'm not awol lying dead in a ditch ty &lt;4

@galaxylimbs › BANGS POTS AND PANS TOGETHER AAAAAAA u may not think it because my replies are slow as hell rn, but i love our ships HI HELLO EKJNHM. from code vein to oc otome hell, i'm so glad to see you back around again!! know that even though i can take 10 years to reply to things, i do absolutely love the dynamics we have with deirdre / magnus and louis / belle. it's such a joy getting to write with you, and i am SO DETERMINED to give you more ship content this upcoming year. i'm happy as well that louis and belle are back, they're such a fantastic duo and i have... so many emotions over code vein to this day, i'm excited to get back into exploring that world with you :') just as well getting to expand on deirdre and magnus's interactions, the potential is untapped !! thank u for sticking around and writing with me friend aaa

— FLOWERS IN THE GARDENS ... i love seeing you all on my dash! it's likely i've left you on read at some point or shoved our drafts in my box, but please know there's no lack of interest on my part. perhaps we haven't interacted at all, but unbeknownst to you, i see you on the dash all the time & you've left an impression. either way, i adore seeing you around & i absolutely want to interact with you!! thank you so much for brightening up my day with your writing. although i may be quiet, i notice u, and i am a fan kjenrhmkjernhm.

@untowonder / @innocenceimpulse / @seeasunset / @snowfeathered / @starlit-heir / @vibraea / @aceparagon / @jardinae / @tvrningout / @swerte / @aetherbled / @pluviacuratio / @synthwealth / @decoresca / @wishngs / @hymnblood / @tricksheart / @strywoven / @xdcwntherabbithole / @mcmcntomorii / @frestoniia / @reapcrbunny / @double-knots / @acandlelitdeath / @jaxxmulti / @tellescope / @hiisfire / @crownedveil / @shrapnelsong / @box-of-characters / @xamassed / XOXO TO U ALL !!

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!

[novinare]

As winter draws closer, a lot of us in the roleplay community find our mental health suffering.

Between the cold, and the short days, and school or work-- well, things just seem a bit harder. And that's when we turn to our hobbies...

So what happens when logging into your blog makes you feel stressed and anxious? Or posting memes and starter calls results in nothing but silence? How do you cope when it feels like everyone is having a great time, and you're collecting dust in the corner?

If you need advice, click the read more. If you have advice, or things that have helped you, leave it in the comments and I'll add it to the list.

Like or reblog if you want to keep a copy, or think other writers could use it.

And remember: all advice is given in good faith. You get to decide what might work for you, and what you're going to ignore.

Happy writing, everyone!

Send yourself memes. This doesn't work with every meme, but if you have the choice between having fun and answering memes you sent yourself, or feeling invisible and waiting on people to send them? (Especially if your followers rarely or never do?) Choose the fun. (I have a multimuse meme that's good for sending yourself. If you have any others, message me and I'll create another post with the list.)

Stop writing starters. If someone has asked for a bunch of starters, but has never replied to any of them, it's time to stop. You aren't obligated to feed another writer's draft hoard. I personally use a 3-strike rule, but your mileage may vary.

Don't hoard drafts. Controversial option, I know! But if you have a ton of drafts, and looking at them makes you anxious? The solution isn't to avoid them and put up a starter call, or ask for people to send you memes to add to the hoard. If you find yourself consistently making a new blog, hoarding drafts, and then making a new blog to escape it? It might be time to examine why.

Take a night off. Go watch a movie, take a walk, do something that doesn't involve staring at your dash feeling invisible and unhappy.

Put up an rp ad. There are a ton of 'searching for rp' blogs on Tumblr, and they can help connect you to new writing partners. These are especially good if you're looking for something specific. Most of them have the option to submit anonymously, which is fantastic for us anxious, awkward beans.

Walk away. If someone tries to cut down your writing, or your graphics (or lack thereof!), you aren't obligated to keep writing with them. Lately I've heard of a few multimuse blogs being told "you shouldn't write (character) because everyone knows my version is the best". This isn't a competition, and you don't need to put up with that.

That's all so far! But I'll be adding advice from the comments onto the list, so leave a note if you have anything that's helped you!

[badassxbirdy]

January Activity Update (Pinned Post)

It’s time once again for an activity update! If you’re new here: these posts help me to keep track of what the frick I’ve been doing, particularly when tumblr breaks or the brainfog strikes. It’s been a while since I’ve been able to do a full monthly update, so this one includes posts and drafts for October, November, and December. Everything else can be found in previous monthly updates under this tag. There’s also the full thread tracker here.

The full activity update (along with OOC house keeping) is below the cut. Bold text = links.

If you want to see all IC interactions without the other stuff, click here. If you’d like to start something new, there are opens and memes, or you can just hit up the DM’s. You can also add Ty on Wire for IC texting.

Now onto the update!

Housekeeping:

A couple of little tweaks have been made to the guidelines page. Nothing huge, mainly just an update on formatting in threads and fc’s.

Ty’s Wire is now working again! 🥳 If you didn’t get a reply last time you messaged her, please resend your message. Or just send her a new one/start a new convo if you’d rather. I also have regained access to the discord account. Same username as here so feel free to add me, just let me know who you are if you do. I only log in when I’m here actively working on drafts, so you may still prefer to use the DM’s to chat.

I don’t do this often, but I’m going to be giving my inbox a bit of a reset by deleting most of the unanswered memes. Even though those ones aren’t being posted, thank you for sending them!

I’m getting notifications for old reblogs and things I was tagged in a month ago, a few even longer ago than that. Some are repeated ones that I saw in my activity feed when they were first posted, but some are brand new to me so I’m very confused rn.

In a similar vein, it’s currently hit or miss as to whether I get a notification for being tagged in a post. It also doesn’t always show up in my actual tracked tag. With that being the case, If there is something I haven’t replied to that is not listed in this post, please let me know.

Still in the process of changing up my medication. We’re taking it slowly as I’m coming off one that is notoriously a pain in the neck for withdrawal symptoms. It’s been absolutely kicking my arse, so if I’m slow to respond to ooc messages, please do not feel ignored. I will answer when my brain is not making dialup noises. Thread replies will happen when they happen. I’m trying to put less pressure on myself, but as an anxious human and chronic people pleaser it’s a struggle. 😂

Threads, replies, and other IC interactions:

(In alphabetical order by username.)

@astormymind

Library ghost hunting with Finn (drafted)

@beastbitten

Extreme awkwardness. 😂 (link)

@demcnsinmymind

At the motel (link)

Azzy proved a point (link)

Taking Lance on a hunt (link)

Doing Lance’s hair! 😭 (link)

Mischief at the bar (link)

Car trouble (drafted)

An unwanted visitor, and Ty finds out the boy has powers! 👀 (queued)

@demonstigma

A weird conversation (queued)

@derschwarzeengel

Tyler is not sick. Definitely not. (link)

Damon? Talking about his trauma? It seems miracles do happen. (queued)

Ty finds Vampire!Damon (queued)

Roasting 50 shades (drafted)

“She’s a ghost AND a bitch!” (drafted)

@destroyerscved

“How did you find me?” (link) Sorry for the repost!

Magic bean juice (queued)

@discipulusmaleficus

Abandoned house (drafted)

@hellomynameisfuckyou

A tackle hug for Damsel (link)

@hvbris

A questionable attempt to cheer up Olive (link)

An appointment with Dr Soliman (link)

Meeting the captain (link)

Ty is confused by Wednesday (drafted. Sorry this one slipped through the cracks for so long!)

@imprvdente

Birthday fun (link)

At the motel with FBI!Fish (drafted)

@innerwar

Ty rescues Damon (link)

Being grumpy at Homelander (link)

Babysitting Jude/the Doc (drafted)

Bad jokes with Charm (queued. Sorry this one slipped through the cracks for so long!)

@kxllerblond

“You owe me a dinner. A very nice dinner.” (link)

@loyaltyguided

Birthday cuteness! (link)

@loyaltylanced

“Destiny can’t be changed.” (link)

@magaprima

Demon problems (queued)

Demon problems part 2: electric boogaloo (link)

@nightiingaled

KilliTy cuteness! (link)

Even more KilliTy cuteness! (link)

@tmrrwppl

I just couldn’t resist okay. Don’t question it. 😂 (link)

@vyrulent

Tyler meets Orobus Jones! (drafted)

Headcanon, dash games, and assorted silliness:

ELEVEN YEARS. ❤️ (link)

“Nothing to steal” (link)

Wanted poster dash game (link)

Damon’s birthday gift (link)

Say My Name drabble by Bramble! (link)

Pinterest dash game (link)

Ty’s Christmas mischief! (link)

I think that’s everything! As always: please let me know if I’ve missed something. I never intentionally drop threads without notifying, rest assured that if it’s not here I am either having a brain fart or I simply have not seen it. Remember to be kind to yourselves, and stay safe! ❤️ — Em

[heereandthere]

So. I'm Alive! (Life Update)

I logged onto this account to try and find something I remembered having buried in my drafts, and since this thing feels kind of like a time capsule to my time as a teenager, I felt like it was semi-appropriate to do a life update since the last time I was here.

When I used this account, I was between 15 and 16 years old, and I am now 20! Holy shit! I'm like. An adult-adult, and that's still completely bonkers to me. I used this account BEFORE THE PANDEMIC. The person who created this Tumblr just outright does not exist anymore and that's INSANE.

Not only am I a proper adult, but I'm also a COLLEGE JUNIOR. I'm so proud to tell you all that I am, in fact, studying theatre and theatre performance on a professional level. I'm the secretary for the theatre-based fraternity on campus and am currently president-elect leading up to the election we'll be doing at the next meeting when the current president steps down. I'm also a part of the theatre for young audiences program as an actor, in beginning rehearsals for my second year with them, and am slated to perform in both mainstage shows this semester (out of the 10 shows we've put on or are planning to put on since I came here, I've been cast/performed in 7!). And on top of all that, I'm slated to be performing in SCOTLAND in the foreseeable future! I'm a busy bee!!

Personal life has been kind of a clusterfuck, mostly courtesy of the pandemic. But I don't really want to focus on a very, VERY dark part of my life other than telling you all that I've finally gotten much-needed diagnoses and coping skills. My obsessive-compulsive ass got and will likely try to continue to be counseled, y'all! It's still an uphill battle, but I'll fight it until I take my last breath. :) I mean, hell, I got the motivation to CLEAN today! If that's not indicative of improvement considering what a mess my room has looked like for the past two years, I don't know what is!

I'm also very proud to report that I have a friend group I feel very accepted and comfortable in. It took a very long time for me to find my "people", and I really think I have here; the theatre department has been so kind and welcoming, and I really do love and cherish the people I work with. Several of them are graduating next semester, which is DEVASTATING, but I know they're all going to do amazing things. I wouldn't trade a single one of them for the world. The same goes for every single one of my non-theatre friends, for though they be few, I would do anything for each and every one of them. They've collectively made this whole "growing up" business so much easier to cope with.

Finally, and I make a point to talk about this because it changed my life so much, Be More Chill is now a chapter in my life I've left in the past. I still love the musical dearly, but it's become a part of my personal history rather than my current obsession and I've made my peace with that. It and musical theatre will always be a huge part of me (obviously, since theatre is my chosen profession), yet my interests have and will continue to change. That's life, baby!

And I want to cap this off by saying, if you paid any mind to this blog at any point, thank you. Thank you for indulging in a really weird journey piloted by a really weird teenager and thank you for paying mind to this post by an equally weird but better adjusted adult. I made this blog when I was at an incredibly low point in my life and having gone through the drafts and seen the unsent posts I wrote about what I was going through, I've made it... so insanely far since the last time I was here.

After a lot of hemming and hawing, I really do think it's finally time to let this blog rest, even though I already haven't touched it for quite some time. I'm still active on Tumblr, though, so if you're interested in getting back in touch or reading some new fic I've been working on for Good Omens, you can find me over at @antiquarianandunusual. You can also find me on AO3 under the same name, or Twitter as AmazingMrFell.

With that said, time for teenage me to rest easy. We made it, bestie. :)

~Heere (Sam)

[twyam-if]

Update #1

Goals for this week:

-Writing/Mapping out the character creation, prologue, and outlining the rest of the story.

-Figuring out how Twine works...again.

-Revealing two, new characters. One of them is an RO!

-Special surprise!

-Answer more asks.

I'm going to strangle Tumblr. I saved this draft twice and both times it never saved it. Stares into the abyss in pain, eats my mango ice-cream in despair.

In any case, I uh, should’ve started with this. Whoops!

Welcome to the update notes! I wanted to post these on Saturday instead of Monday, but unfortunately I was busy with a prior engagement on Saturday to properly write this out.

I'm currently in the middle of out-lining and writing out the character creation. For the prologue, I just need to continue writing it out. Which means, hopefully in a few more weeks or less, I can post the prologue for everyone and start working on Chapter One. I'm still in the midst of outlining my story as I did have a general idea of it, but after adding in more scenes and fleshing it out, I got so inspired and I ended up thinking of more scenes. Suffice to say, this will take a while lmao

Coding is pain. I write the story in a seperate document, and yet the HTML/CSS say: "Hey, you added something wrong and there's 50+ errors."

Me:

Hopefully, I can show you guys a template of what the game will look like soon. I want to make the template first before I implement the story into it!

It's ironic because I like to code, but coding makes me cry.

Next, I can safely say that I can show you guys two more characters that will be important in your journey! One of them is an RO, but the other isn't. Depending on the popularity of the other guy, though...well, we'll see when we get there!

It took me an embarrassingly long time to realize that I could have shared the other RO, but I thought because that they contained spoilers that I didn't put them there, but after looking through my notes again...this character doesn't really have spoilers that is aimed towards the story. So like...

Me: Stares into the abyss again.

I'll post the two characters up later after I finish preparing them, but I'm going to make a seperate post that will contain the ROs and characters that are important to the story. I'll link it to the pinned post!

As for the special surprise, I will show you guys a glimpse of the world of Romaen in 'journal entry' forms later down the line. Out of anyone in Romaen, this specific character would be the one to record everything in perfect detail.

To add onto this: These logs are all made by a completely different RO that will be revealed in the future. Their appearance is a spoiler so I'll leave them anonymous, and I'll also hide some areas where there's going to be spoilers. I do eventually want to add these onto the game as a form of Codex, so you'll be able to see a small summary of what the world will contain, but we'll see what happens down the line.

I hope you guys enjoy them!

Thank you guys for being patient with me. I'll continue answering asks in a timely manner, and hopefully, I'm showing you small cracks and glimpses of what my book will contain.

I'll see you guys again in asks soon, and stay safe everyone!

[bubbledumbbinch]

Yandere! Idia Shroud x Camgirl! Reader SMUT

A/N: Hello! This is my first fic I've posted on tumblr, and I'm not used to using it at all. I hope this turned out okay and you enjoy! This is a College AU, implied magicless world, and reader is a camgirl.

This fic is purely 18+, minors do not interact.

Word Count: ~4.4k

Warnings: dubcon, brief mention of blood, non consensual drug use (aphrodisiacs)

Friday night, 11:24pm, 6 minutes before your scheduled time to start “work”. You had just finished putting on your makeup and outfit, now trying to hype yourself up in the mirror.

'I can do this. This is gonna be a great show!' You told yourself, while staring at your reflection wearing the revealing outfit. Tonight’s choice was a catgirl maid costume; the maid dress just barely covering your body and showing a large amount of chest. A choker with a bell on it, cat ears, and thigh high socks.

Giving yourself a nod of encouragement, you sat down in the chair in front of your desk, where your laptop and webcam were situated, along with your ring lights, one at each side of the desk so you were well lit for the camera. Making sure you were logged into the site, your camera angle looked good, and your laptop was charging, you waited.

You loved your side gig as a camgirl. You were able to appeal to multiple people’s sexual desires while also being able to bring yourself to pleasure, sometimes more than once per stream, if there were enough donations of course. You were also able to make a decent amount of money while doing this side job, paying for college while having fun was a pretty big plus. And, if you were gonna be honest, the validation of being attractive to so many people really made you feel a lot better about yourself.

You quickly noticed your clock switch to 11:30pm. Time to start. You clicked on the set of buttons you pretty much knew by heart to get the show started. Once it did, you started up some music to fill the silence. Just some cute electronic music to dance in your chair to while you wait for the viewers to come in. You didn’t really have as many as the big camgirls but you had a few loyal people come and watch your streams, which set your heart at ease.

5 viewers

cay-kun @ 11:31pm: wooow y/n-chan, you look so cute! excited for tonight’s show~

User18535 @ 11:32pm: fuck you’re so goddamn cute, i love your tits. can’t wait to see what that pussy looks like

10 viewers

You playfully giggled while reading the last message, winking and sticking your tongue out while flashing the camera your panties from under your skirt. While waiting for more people to join, you also made a point to talk to your viewers, asking about their day and what they’ve been up to recently, which they loved you for.

25 viewers

User58273 @ 11:34pm: You look so kawaii, I wish I could have you service me.

40 viewers

Glancing at the viewer count, you decide to officially start.

“Hi hiii~ I’m so happy to see you all here tonight! Let’s have some fun, hmm?” you started playfully. “Do you guys like my outfit?” Messages of “yes” and “yeah baby”s began flooding the chat and you grinned. “Well, I have something that will be a real treat for you all~”

You reached over to grab something that couldn’t be seen by the camera or the viewers.

~~~~~

Idia was browsing through the site full of nude streamers, trying to find a person to watch so he could relieve his tension from this week. It was midterms season and his Computer Science teachers were giving him hell by making him do in person presentations, exams, and assignments that kept piling up. It took a lot of time away from gaming and side projects of coding his own programs. He also unfortunately didn’t have his little brother Ortho with him in college, as the university didn’t allow them both to attend “as one student”. Ortho definitely eased some stress as someone he could trust and talk to, but Idia’s parents decided to keep Ortho at home to “prevent Idia from being distracted”, much to his dismay.

Idia was at least blessed to not have a roommate, so he could at least have his own privacy for nights like this. Idia’s eyes landed on a thumbnail of a girl that was dressed in cat ears and a lewd maid outfit and was intrigued. He clicked on the video icon and was met with your figure bent so that your ass was up and legs were spread on the chair you were previously sitting on. The girl on the stream had her panties down to her knees and was currently lubing up a cat tail butt plug.

“Ah, I’ve never used this before so, bear with me, please!” She pleaded, eyes looking directly at the camera. Idia was intrigued now this was her first time using it. He felt like this was perfect timing, almost like she was doing it just for him. Until he saw the comments flooding in from different people who were probably thinking the same way.

“Put it in already”

“Go slow okay~”

“don’t force yourself if you don’t want to! >//<”

“Tch,” Idia scoffed to himself. “Seems like she has simps already. No use in being interested in someo-“

“H- here it goes!” You moaned, starting to slowly shove the length and girth of the butt plug into your tight hole. “Aaanh~ it’s stretching me out...” Your eyes pricked with tears while your face contorted into pure pleasure with a hint of pain, all while staring at the camera. Every so often he could hear the little jingle from the bell on your choker.

Idia felt his pants getting tighter and his palms were starting to sweat. The face you made at him was just too unreal and he needed more. He palmed at his growing erection while you shivered at the feeling of being filled by the toy. Pulling his sweatpants down to his ankles, he started stroking his cock lightly.

cay-kun @ 11:38pm: oh y/n-chan the way that stretches out your hole is so sexy~ definitely taking a screenshot for later!

User39748 @ 11:38pm: SHIT i wish i was there fucking you with that in your ass

Blushing, you turned around so that one of your legs were in the chair while your other was up, effectively showing the camera a view of your pussy and butt plug. “What do you want me to do? I’ll just play with myself until someone makes a donation and tells me what I should do! Highest bidder within the next minute~.” With that, you looked into the camera again while soaking your middle and ring fingers with saliva and bringing them to your clit, rubbing small circles into it.

Idia realized that, even now, he wanted to have some kind of control over you. He had a lot of disposable income, being from a pretty rich family. The blue haired boy grabbed his credit card and began to type.

Ignia has donated $100!

Your eyes widened and you gasped slightly. Idia bit his bottom lip at the sight. “Ah, Ignia! Thank you for the donation, you’re new here! Welcome, what would you like to see me do~?” You smiled while looking at the camera. Idia felt like you were staring into his soul and he was sweating profusely. He thought for a minute, gulped, and decided to send a message.

Ignia @ 11:43pm: I want you to keep watching my messages and do what I say, kitten. First I want you to grab a vibrating dildo if you have one and put it at the lowest setting, then fuck yourself slowly with it.

Idia would never have the balls to be this bold with anybody. But this is the internet, so fuck it, he’ll be truthful and just say what he wanted.

You nodded and proceeded to grab one from the table of toys you had next to your desk, lubed it slightly, and did what he told you to. You moaned at the intrusion and the feeling of being filled. “Mmh, it feels so good..!” You cried out.

Ignia has donated $50!

Ignia @ 11:45pm: And by the way, call me Master. You don’t get to cum until I say so.

You shivered at this stranger’s boldness and quietly spoke, “Yes, master...” you looked away shyly from the camera and closed your eyes for a minute, thrusting the vibrating device in and out of your wetness. A couple of moans slipped through your mouth as you felt your juices spreading onto your legs.

Ignia @ 11:47pm: Faster. Fuck yourself faster for me, kitten, and put it on the medium setting for me.

You did as you were told, fingers trembling to follow what the stranger had told you. Your (h/c) hair was starting to feel moist from your layer of sweat and your body was heating up, causing your breasts to stick to the costume.

Ignia @ 11:49pm: Take your tits out and play with your nipples

You panted heavily and lowered your chest area’s covering, revealing the sheen of sweat around your tits. Flicking your left nipple while working the dildo with your right, your hands were occupied with pleasing yourself as this stranger commanded, moaning out. “Aah, m-master, f-feels so go-ood~!”

Idia was smirking, stroking hard at his cock at the sight and idea of you actually doing what he said almost made him cum then and there, but he stopped himself. He couldn’t help the rapid beating of his heart when you said the last sentence. Idia felt special. The power he had over you was addicting and he wanted to see you push yourself over the edge under his command.

65 viewers

User58273: Fuck this is so hot, I wish I could be your master too

Seeing this comment somehow made Idia seethe. He didn’t want to share you, even though this was his first stream with you. You made him feel special. He started typing out his draft of what to reply to the thirsty viewers.

Draft: Ignia: You stupid bastards, no, I’m not going to share her.

Before Idia could send the message you spoke up in a moaning voice. “*pant* N-no, my master tonight is I-Ignia, haanh~”. You were still playing with your nipples while fucking yourself well with the dildo, a light blush decorated your face and beads of sweat starting to form on the sides of your face and your body.

Idia’s jaw dropped. ‘Does she actually really want me?’ He was getting hot, too hot for his own comfort. Usually he wouldn’t last this long during his sessions but he really wanted to see you fall apart under his command. He paid for it, after all.

“Master~ I’m getting close, I- I wanna cum soon!” You whined, pleading (e/c) orbs staring into the camera with your mouth open from panting heavily.

“Cum already, don’t hold yourself back”

“Just keep going babygirl”

“Let yourself cum”

Once again, Idia scoffed in annoyance, but he noticed you never acknowledged any of the other commenters, waiting patiently for the words to come from him.

Ignia @ 11:55pm: put the toy at the highest setting, fuck yourself til you cum, then keep pumping it while you ride out your climax.

Upon seeing those words, your fingers work to put your toy at the highest setting inside your dripping cunt. You closed your eyes while you try to imagine the user who was giving out the commands, imagining them slapping your ass and fucking you until you could see stars. The feeling of both of your holes being filled was overwhelming now, and the hot feeling built up in your core faster than you realized. Idia could see it too, the heaving of your chest was picking up rapidly.

“M-,, ma- master.! I’m cumming!!!” You shrieked. Closing your eyes with your tongue unintentionally lolling out, you released a silent scream as soon as your orgasm hit. It felt like a knot inside of your body had come undone suddenly. Your orgasm had your pussy clenching around the toy that was still vibrating intensely inside of you, stimulating you longer and making you release high pitched screams.

Hearing your words before cumming had Idia teetering on the edge, but watching your facial expressions and your moans made him finish suddenly with a grunt, his pale cock spurting thick white cum all over his hand. Still, Idia kept stroking his length while you were riding out your high, overstimulating himself to match your actions on the stream.

You pulled out the toy weakly and turned it off, putting it down on a towel next to your desk.

Ignia has donated $5!

Ignia @ 11:59pm: Spread your pussy lips babygirl, I wanna see your tight hole.

User39748 @ 11:59pm: I agree with Ignia

cay-kun @ 12:00am: ah~ I also agree. Let’s see you spread it, hmm~? Oh, can you also do a lil ‘nya!’?

You checked the chat and blushed heavily, post-orgasm shyness now taking over your mind. You hesitantly shifted in the chair while spreading yourself open with your pointer and middle finger, showing off your glistening folds with your lightly abused hole. “Nya...” you held up your other hand to do the signature “catgirl” pose, playfully sticking your tongue out too.

Idia was cleaning himself off but he could feel himself twitch again, staring at your meek form. You were so gorgeous and he really wanted to see more of you, making sure to press the “Follow” button, so he wouldn’t miss another stream.

After a few seconds, you decide to end your show, feeling extremely tired and needing a shower from sweating so much. “Thank you so so much for joining me tonight! I hope you guys have a wonderful rest of your evening~ take care and I hope to see you all soon!”

Small tips ranging between $1-$10 started to flow in along with messages of “take care~” “see you soon!” “great show baby ;)”.

You clicked off and you sighed deeply. Looking at your earnings tonight, you made around $200. This was probably the most you’ve made in one single stream, and $155 of that was from Ignia, a new follower and the one who pretty much commanded your entire show tonight. It really turned you on to have someone do that for you and it was the first time a viewer made you do something that felt so lewd that made you cum so quickly.

You stood up from the chair, cleaned up your desk and toys, and headed for the bathroom. Taking off your makeup in the sink, you jumped into the shower to clean yourself up.

~~~~~

Idia tentatively bit his shirt sleeve, his blue locks framing his face. Something inside of him told him that he needed to talk to you more. He had already typed out a message to send along with his friend request. He was scared - scared of being rejected by someone as pretty as you, especially now that he had already felt so attached to you, or rather, what he’s seen from the stream tonight.

Yellow eyes closed tightly as he clicked to send the friend request to you.

~~~~~

Jumping out of the shower, you throw on a head and body towel and started to brush your teeth. Walking around the room you realized your laptop was still on, and there was a notification box front and center. Curious, you clicked on it.

“One new friend request and message”.

“Friend Request: Ignia

Message: Hey, this is the user from your stream earlier. I just wanted to say I really enjoyed your stream tonight. You seem nice too, so I’d like to get to know you more. If you’re interested just feel free to add me back, no pressure ofc.

Thx

Ignia”

You blinked a few times, pondering what you should do. You had gotten messages from guys before but they only said cheap compliments and asking for private shows. You were single so there wasn’t anybody holding you down and this guy didn’t seem to radiate any bad vibes. His dominant nature over chat really turned you on and you were curious about him, so you decided to accept his friend request and send a reply.

“From: y/n-kitty-cat

Hi there :) I decided to accept your message, cause why not? You shouldn’t be that creepy, right? ;P anyway, I’m glad you enjoyed my stream tonight <3 I hope you can come to future ones too!! I’d like to see you around more ;)

❤️

y/n”

You sent the message and went to the bathroom to finish brushing your teeth and your other nightly routines.

Idia couldn’t believe his eyes - you had actually messaged him back and you were really flirtatious!! That meant he was different in your eyes, right? It has to be true! He was determined to meet up with you, eventually. His dick throbbed at the idea of having you to himself, pleasing him with your mouth, doing all those lewd faces you made on the stream... his mind wandered while he pushed his pants down once again and thought of his muse who was now his “friend”.

~~~~~

After a few days of messaging back and forth, you and Ignia had ended up exchanging numbers and using text to communicate almost daily. You found out things like what your majors in college were, finding out his real name was Idia, which was a pretty unique name, and realizing you were both from the same city. Well, it’s not like Idia hadn’t already done his research - the night he became your friend he had stalked all of your social medias under a throwaway account and scrolled through every photo and bit of information he could find about you. He was becoming so hyper fixated on you he needed to know more, who could blame him? Idia just hoped he would be seeing more of you in your streams so he could watch you get off again, maybe with his assistance.

Unfortunately for you though, you realized you couldn’t stream as much because midterms were also kicking your ass. You apologized to your viewers with a blog post who luckily understood and wished you luck, saying they looked forward to your next show.

Idia couldn’t see your pretty face from the stream, which made him yearn. He told Ortho about his crush on you and when the small boy told Idia to “just tell you the truth and meet up with you!” he wanted to shut down completely. But, he wasn’t completely opposed to the idea of you being in his room, exactly where he wanted you. Sighing, he picked up his phone to send you a text.

Idia: “hey”

Y/n: “hey there! 😉”

Idia: “soo i was wondering if you wanted to hang out sometime”

Y/n: “omg 😱 like irl? I’ve never even heard your voice before lol”

Idia: “ik, i’m a bit shy in person.”

Y/n: “i see, so is the life of a gamer and a shut in?😏😂”

Idia: “hah, yeah i guess lol”

Y/n: “soo, what did you wanna do?”

Idia: “idk, anything you want. Except go outside. And be in public.”

Y/n: “pfft, that takes away like any idea at this point HAHA”

Idia: “ya lol i prefer gaming in my room tbh”

Y/n: “oh, then maybe we can just hang out and play games or something like that?”

Idia: “Yeah, why don’t you come over to my dorm, we could game and eat snacks”

Y/n: “Sounds great! This Friday then, 6pm?”

Idia: “Sure i’ll text you the details later”

Y/n: “Awesome :) see you in a couple days then ;)”

Idia: “cool”

Idia threw himself on his bed and screamed silently into the pillow. Idia wanted more than to just be your friend but unfortunately was also extremely shy, especially when talking to new people in person. But as he was sexually attracted to you, he knew he would have a hard time hiding it from you. He had hoped to initiate some kind of sexual interaction when you met up, wanting to indulge in your sinful reactions himself. He didn’t even want to think about anybody else seeing you like that. Idia was growing possessive and realized that if he were to get you where he wanted you, he needed to do a little bit of digging. Which meant searching the web for something that would help make you more agreeable to something sexual. He knew he himself couldn’t make you agree to it, he was too nervous to initiate that! He knew what he needed - an aphrodisiac.

Composing himself, he got onto his computer and compared his options as well as looking for advice on how to please a woman. His eyes widened and lips trembled as he realized he was definitely way too shy to initiate as much as other men do, but he was determined to try anything if it meant your attention.

~~~~~

Today was finally Friday, and the current time was 5:30pm. You styled your (h/c) locks and put on a light amount of makeup, not as much as you would when you streamed but enough to make yourself feel pretty. You also decided that you still wanted to be cute, even if you and Idia were just friends at this point, and wore a tight crop top, a high waisted black skirt, and some thigh high socks since it was a bit breezy outside. You topped it all off with a (f/c) cardigan so you could at least feel comfortable in the sleeves. Packing your bag, you took one last look at yourself in the mirror, did a little peace sign and smiled, feeling cute as hell. You grabbed your keys and walked out of your dorm, heading towards Idia’s campus.

You parked at the place he told you to and gotten out of your car, looking around for him. Shit, you just realized you didn’t even ask him what he was gonna wear or what he really looked like, which was pretty dumb in hindsight. You did catch a glimpse of a tall lanky guy with fluffy blue hair and a striped t-shirt, who was fumbling around on his phone and didn’t realize you was standing right by him.

“Excuse me,” you interrupted his peace softly, causing him to jump up and squeal in fear. “Oh!! I’n so sorry, I’m just looking for someone and I didn’t know if I was in the right place?”

Idia froze. It really was you, in the flesh, looking at him and taking his appearance in. You were gorgeous, even more so than he would have ever thought, and your voice brought tingles to his spine that made him shudder. Idia realized he was being quiet for a longer than acceptable time and he looked away. “H-hi,, y/n...” he mumbled barely even audible.

“Oh!! Idia? Is that you? Hi!!!” You exclaimed, seemingly really excited. Your mouth was curved into a wide smile too.

“Huh, you sound really enthusiastic...” Idia whispered, thinking he really said it in his own mind instead of out loud.

“Of course I am! I’m finally done with midterms and now I can relax and have fun with my new friend!” You said, bumping your shoulder with him, causing him to hold his breath.

Idia gulped when he realized what you said. Friend. Right, that’s all he was to you. At least for now. But hopefully that would change soon, right?

“Y-yeah. Let’s go inside.” Idia muttered, turning his back and walking.

Based on his demeanor, you almost forgot that Idia was the one who was so dominant during your stream the other week, since his attitude was so shy in real life. But, you pushed that thought to the back of your head, today was gonna be a fun day with a new friend, and that was strictly it. You didn’t really want to make your side job as a sex worker into a big thing that would make real life friendships difficult.

~~~~~

After he led you through the halls of the dorm, he brought you to a door and opened it up. Inside it was a bit messy, but an organized mess, one where the owner definitely knew where everything was. He had a pc setup with multiple monitors, RGB lighting which was mostly set to shades of blue, and a really nice gaming chair to go along with it. He also had a shelf with different manga series along it and other consoles for gaming, a bed, a door that led to a bathroom, and a mini fridge. Pretty nice for someone who lived without a roommate, you thought.

You walked over to his bed and flopped down onto it. Idia couldn’t help but think about the many times he had masturbated to you on those sheets that you were now sitting on. He was wondering what kind of panties you were wearing too, when he was suddenly interrupted.

“So! I guess we should get started on some games, yeah? I think I wanna play a fighting one against you! I’m totally gonna win~” You smiled up at him playfully.

Idia let his personality slip when games were brought up. “Tch, you really think you’re gonna win against me ? Think again.” The blue haired boy smirked down at you, which lit up the fire of competition in your heart.

“Let’s go then, dude.”

~~~~~

After about 15 minutes of close battles but still losing every one, you groaned and put the controller down on the floor where you and Idia were positioned in front of a monitor. You had developed a small sheen of sweat on your face from the stress. “Hey Idia, do you have anything to drink? I’m so thirstyy~” You looked at him and pouted, hoping he would maybe have some soda or water for you.

“A-ah, yes I do...” he stuttered a bit, seemingly nervous about something. He shuffled over to a mini fridge near his desk and brought out a cooler bottle. “Here, I made this sweet tea yesterday and you can drink from it...” Idia handed you the cool bottle and you observed it suspiciously. He was starting to feel his breath hitch and wondered if you had caught on.

“Hm~? Drinking from the same bottle already? So intimate!” You teased him, lightly elbowing his side. “Well, here goes nothing.” You tipped the bottle into your mouth and the tea tasted like sweet peach, with a slightly bitter aftertaste.

“Hm, it’s... interesting. What kind of tea is it?” You inquired, looking at the contents and sniffing it.

“I-it’s a recipe I found online! It looked good so, I decided to make it, I- I thought you would like it...” he shyly put down his head, trying to hide his suspicious nervousness from you.

“Okay... well it’s pretty good! I’ll drink some more, thanks for thinking of me~” you said as you gulped down the drink for a few more seconds. “Mmh! I think that cooled me down, let’s play more rounds!”

Idia looked back at you and sighed in relief. “Y-yeah, let’s do that.” He didn’t know how long it would take to work but at least he could distract his nerves by playing some games.

~~~~~

You started to sweat and feel hot. Unbearably hot. You cleared your throat and pulled off your cardigan and folded it to the side, but it wasn’t enough. The heat spread from your head, to your torso, and to your lower regions. Feeling hot and a deep... itch that you couldn't quite reach, in your crotch, you decide to change the position in which you were sitting, from crossing your legs to having them right underneath you, to feel some sort of friction in that area. You could feel yourself blushing intensely while the blue haired man next to you was still immersed in the game you both were supposed to play.

Watching him, you couldn’t help but notice the way his fingers moved on the controller, his thumbs and pointers expertly moving across it. You started thinking about how they would feel playing with your nipples and clit - wait. ‘What am I even thinking about?! Snap out of it!’ But, you also couldn’t help but think about when you were close to beating him during a round, his voice changed to a lower, frustrated one, and he even let out a little growl. Even now you noticed the way his eyes were so glued to the monitor with a small scowl on his face. Thinking about that sent throbs and heat to your growing wetness.

WINNER: PLAYER 1!

“Fuhehe, I knew I could beat you again~ but for some reason it felt like you weren’t trying as hard this round.” Idia put down his controller, finally took a glance at you, and his breath was caught in his throat.

Your (s/c) body was covered with a layer of sweat, cheeks burning and your eyes looked glossy. You were also panting slightly, rubbing your legs together softly to try to create more friction. “A-ah,, hey... do you think you could lower the temperature in here? It- it’s getting really hot. Maybe I could have more of that cold tea?” You breathed, trying to sound more stable than you were.

Idia was dumbfounded for a second and totally forgot you had drank the tea that he mixed with the aphrodisiacs. He gulped as he leaned closer to your face, observing you. “Is... is there anything else I can help you, w-with?” Idia placed a hand on the floor near your thigh and watched as you tried to scoot away from it.

“D-don’t do that... it’s...,” you whimpered, back now touching the side of his bed as you leaned away from his touch. Since when did he smell so good? His scent radiating from his proximity sent tingles across your body.

“Do what?” Idia experimentally reached out to touch your arm, fingers grazing your back slightly. You couldn’t fight back the moan that slipped out of your mouth. “Haah~ I-Idia...” you breathed, looking at him with pleading eyes. You really weren’t planning on doing anything with your new friend, so why was your body disobeying your mind?

“Y/n... you know you can tell me if there’s a-anything you need.. I’ll help you.” Idia’s eyes were still wide and the way he looked at you made you start craving. You wanted him - no, you NEEDED him to touch you more. You never really thought about it, but, Idia really was attractive. It’s not because of your hazy mindset that you realized it, but the way the blue lights illuminated his pale skin and make his hair almost glow, you were just focusing on it more. He was... cute.

“I-...” you started, looking down at his hand on your arm, and then back at him. Staring at his lips, you felt your arms move around his neck as you pulled him closer. Your lips smashed against each others messily and you released a soft whimper against his mouth. The reality hitting you, you moved your head back suddenly breaking the kiss. Your body was still hot.

“F-first...” Idia was stuttering. “First... kiss...” Idia stared wide eyed at you, lips still trembling. He blushed and turned away, his brows tilted upwards as if he were troubled.

“Oh, oh god, I’m so sorry....” you breathed out, scared you had fucked it up with your friend.

“Haah.. more...” his eyes suddenly turned back to you, seemingly darker than before. “I want more of you, y/n...” with that, he brought his lips to yours again and moved them sloppily against your own. He even took the liberty to bite your bottom lip with his sharp teeth, causing you to yelp. Idia used this opportunity to shove his tongue past your mouth and moved it against your own, causing you to moan in pleasure while you could feel your panties starting to drench.

Idia pulled away from you, cheeks tinted pink. Both of you panted for breath, your clothes now feeling sticky due to sweat. He scanned your blushing figure and saw an opening of your skirt that had shown off your lacy panties. Idia gulped and dove his head towards your clothed pussy, breathing in the essence and shuddering loudly, which made you gasp.

“Idiia, no... we, we shouldn’t...” you whined. But you could feel your body was not agreeing with your words. When the tip of his nose grazed your clit you bucked your hips against his head, letting out a moan at the contact.

He lifted up your skirt to your waist so he could see your facial expressions. Suddenly, his wet tongue experimentally slid up your clothed pussy, piercing yellow eyes locked onto your glazed over eyes. You shrieked at the sensation and felt embarrassed that he could get you like this, and you were still wearing your panties.

“Hhn, you wore these for me, didn’t you..?” Idia said, which made you blush. “No, I- I didn’t...” you muttered weakly, trying to avoid his gaze

Idia’s grip on your thighs suddenly got tighter and he looked up at you with furrowed brows. “Don’t lie to me, kitten. I know you want me, like how you did on the night we met, on your stream.” Idia firmly told you. It seemed like it was more like he was convincing himself. "N-no Idia, I... I don't want to-" you started, until you were interrupted.

Idia’s teeth bit suddenly into your soft thigh, causing it to bleed a bit. You knew it would leave a big mark later. “AH!! F-fuck!!” You grabbed onto his blue hair and felt your pussy clench onto nothing. Why, why are you enjoying this? It was like Idia’s personality had changed, from the shy person you met outside his dorm to a more possessive and rough one. You were a bit scared of him but why was he making you feel so good?

You didn’t have time to think as you felt him move the fabric of your panties to the side so your drenched cunt was fully visible to him. He stared in awe and took in everything - the shape, size, and how wet you were. You brought the back of your hand up to your head and panted with embarrassment. “Idia... mmh...”, tears pricking the corners of your eyes. Your body was still wanting more and after your mind was fighting the feeling so much, you decided to let it be. “Please...”

Idia met your eyes and saw how glossy they were. He lifted your body onto the bed so that you were now lying on your back while he was still in front of your crotch. You softly breathed in and out, causing your chest to rise and fall in your sweat soaked top. He snaked a pale hand under your shirt to grope your breast in your lacy bra, cold fingers sending shivers through your hot body. Idia couldn’t resist any longer, he suddenly shoved his wet muscle onto your pussy with fervor. You gasped and threw your head back onto Idia’s plush pillow, and shoved your hand on the back of his head pushing it deeper into your legs. Idia couldn’t contain himself and moaned into your heat, sending vibrations through it. “Oh- aaanh~ Idi-aaa~....” you sighed and whined. He took this opportunity to lower the cup of your bra below your breast and pinch your pert nipple in his fingers.

“Fuck~!” you screamed, feeling hot tears flowing down your face. Your body couldn’t take it much longer. Your core was building a familiar sensation but it was all too overwhelming and coming too fast. “It feels so good!!” You squealed, squeezing your thighs together so you were caging his head. Idia focused his energy lapping hungrily at your clit and then pushed two digits of his free hand through your wet hole, pumping them in and out. Your panting breaths were becoming shorter with each pump.

“Idia~ I’m close!! I’m gonna cum..!” You looked at him between your legs, and he lifted his mouth off of your cunt for a brief second. He stared into your eyes with his yellow ones, which stared at you intensely, licked his lips, and spoke.

“Cum for me then, kitten. Don’t hold back, cum all over my face.” With that, he dove back in and pumped his fingers into your core and flicked his tongue on your sensitive pearl even faster than before. Idia’s hips were rutting on his mattress, precum wetting his undergarments.

“Oh god - I’m cumming, I’m cumming~!!” You screeched and squeezed his head with your thighs, squirting his face and sheets with your cum. His tongue darted around your pussy licking off your juices. You breathed heavily, riding out your high. It took everything in him to stop himself from cumming right then and there - he wanted to save that for later.

Idia leaned up to where you were and kissed you passionately, and you could taste yourself all over his mouth. You moaned at the taste of your own juices on his tongue. Still exhausted from Idia eating you out, your body somehow craved the feeling of being filled. You sat up and got up from the bed and for a second he was afraid you were getting ready to leave. You removed your drenched shirt in front of him as well as your skirt, underwear, and bra. Still wearing your thigh high socks, he stopped you before you could remove them. “I, I want you to keep those on...” he licked his lips as he stared at your socks squeezing your plush thighs, the mark he made earlier with his teeth was visible and bruising now.

Following your lead, Idia was removing his own garments, tossing his shirt to the side. He was lean, not too skinny but not muscular either, pale all over. He also removed his pants and swung them over to the floor. Idia avoided your gaze as his erection was now very much so noticeable in his boxers, and you could even see a dark spot where his precum had made a mark. You felt your vagina tremble at the sight of it. It’s been a long time since you’ve had a partner and the anticipation was starting to get to you. As for Idia, well, everything was his first.

You knelt down in front of his bed and his legs and reached out to touch the head of his penis through the boxers, making him twitch and breathe out. “Mmh,...” you pulled down his underwear to reveal his lengthy cock. He wasn’t extremely girthy but he made up for that in length. The head of it was a shade of pale pink and dripped with clear liquid. You took some of the clear liquid in your hand and began teasing the head of his dick. Opening your mouth, you also gave it a few kitten licks while you pumped the base. Idia let out a few grunts and threw his head back, causing you to grow wet again.

Idia felt himself getting too close to orgasm which made him grab your head to stop you from going further. He lifted you up again and placed you on his lap, your dripping cunt hovering over his standing cock. Your body was hot again as you stared into Idia’s yellow eyes, a pink haze dusting his pale cheeks. Remembering he was a virgin, you looked at him hesitantly. ‘I- I don’t know, are you sure you want to lose your virginity right now?’ was what you were planning on saying, until he spoke up.

“Y/n... I need you. I’ve been wanting to do this to you for a while. I- I'm gonna put it in...” Idia whispered, panting slightly. As he was lowering your hips, you couldn't say anything as you felt his tip graze your wetness and you whimpered at the feeling. He kept bringing your hips down until you felt him all the way inside, head of his dick kissing your cervix. You threw your arms around his neck and moaned into his ear, causing a grunt from your partner. Not giving you time to adjust, Idia started thrusting in and out sloppily into your hole, squelching and moaning sounds filling the air of his usually quiet dorm.

“Oh Idia, please, pleasepleaseplease-!” You screamed, not even knowing what you were pleading for. Your (h/c) hair was sweaty and you felt your eye makeup starting to run with every tear you shed. Idia’s loud grunts filled your ear, causing your heat to build up.

“*pant* Mmh, y/n...” he paused and started thrusting into you slowly but hard, pulling you back so his forehead could touch with yours, blue hair still frayed in his face. “You have, *pant* no idea... I would masturbate to your pictures every. Single. Night. I jerked off on these sheets and used your photos of you smiling, you weren’t even *pant* n-naked... Does that, *pant* make me a sick pervert? No matter, you're here with me now, and I'm mmh, making you feel good, right?” Idia confessed, yellow eyes staring into yours with infatuation and obsession. You felt your breath hitch in a feeling familiar to fear. He was lovesick. Not the same person you thought you were messaging for the past few days or gaming with earlier. He looked deranged.

“I... Aaanh~!” You were cut off by a particularly hard thrust into your cervix. Idia licked your neck while thrusting into your abused hole. “I’m gonna breed you, kitten. W-wanna see you drip with my cum.. mmh, you want that?”

You were so close to your release that you didn’t even care about what he was saying. “More Idia, more!!” You breathed. Closing your eyes and now using your own hips to grind into his cock.

Remembering a particular position that grabbed Idia’s attention, he lifted you up, dick still hard inside of you. He placed your back on the bed, your head on his pillow while he brought your legs up to your chest. Idia continued to thrust into you, your face now in full view. He held your wrists in one hand above your head so you couldn’t hide your face from his eyes.

“Idia...” you breathed out. “I- Idia!!!!” You felt your orgasm approaching fast while he pounded into you relentlessly. “Haaanh~ I’m close!!” You moaned shamelessly.

“Hnnh, that’s r-right, y/n... mm, cum for me...” Idia breathed out in between his panting. With that, Idia thrusted faster until the knot that was building in your lower regions finally released. “Aaanh~!! I’m cumming, Idia, c-cumming all over your cock!!” Your face contorted into one of full bliss, eyes looking straight into his with your mouth in an o-shape. The walls around Idia’s length clenched tightly, milking him of his seed. Idia came suddenly with a groan, pumping it deep within you while riding out his high. "Fuck, y/n!!"

Idia rolled you both to your sides, his dick softening inside you. You both panted hard as you faced one another. You opened your eyes to find him with his eyes closed, blushing at the sight of your naked bodies still intertwined even after your climaxes. “We, we actually did it...” he whispered and opened his eyes. “!!!!” He made a mildly surprised noise, eyes widening and turning away.

“Eeh?! What’s wrong!?” You said, wondering if something was on your face. “N-nothing it’s just.... I’m surprised we... you.. you’re staring at me... I’m sorry, I’m still not used to people doing that...” Idia said shamefully, darting his yellow eyes to and from you periodically.

You couldn’t help but giggle. “Eek!! Why,, are you laughing at me?” Idia frowned and hid his face in the pillow. “Well.. your personality is different when you’re having sex versus not. It's interesting.” you told him, tracing a finger along his arm.

Idia blushed intensely, throwing his arms around your neck and hid his pale face in your neck. "Mmph..! I-, I like you, y/n..." he breathed into your neck. "I wouldn't be able to handle you doing this with another person so... will you be mine?" Idia pulled back to watch your face as you contemplated.

Idia's words from earlier suddenly flooded your memories. He looked insane when he confessed to his perverted actions and it evoked an uncertain emotion akin to fear. Your body felt paralyzed. But in the moment, with Idia's lightly pink tinged skin and unsure eyes, you had to admit it made your heart flutter, too. "Yes, Idia..."

[couldyouspeakmyname]

Yandere is a portmanteau of two Japanese words. The first is yanderu, which means “to be sick,” and the second is deredere, used here for “lovestruck.” A yandere is often sweet, caring, and innocent before switching into someone who displays an extreme, often violent or psychotic, level of devotion to a love interest.

(Remember, Yandere’s are toxic, and while it’s fun to write and read about in fiction, it’s not okay in real life. This is your warning)

I’m so sorry anon! Tumblr deleted my draft about the Yandere!Shishigumi ask. I re-did it and I hope it’s okay!

(Sorry for any errors I wanted to post it before tumblr ate it again ;-;)

-Maeve

Ibuki

How they act around you

Ibuki adores you. How could he not? You’re everything he’s ever wanted in a partner. He can’t let you know that though, he doesn’t want to overwhelm you or scare you off. Instead, he becomes your friend. He’s there for you whenever you need him, no matter what time of night or day. If he’s not available, he sends someone else to help you. He’s always there, spending time with you, that others hardly ever see you without him. 

He’s supportive of all your goals, and wants to do whatever he can to make them happen. 

Over time you’ll find that no one else is as loving and supportive as he is (he makes sure no one else can be). He wants nothing more than to see you happy, with him.

He’ll quickly becomes your shoulder to cry on, the person you rely on. 

He’s your foundation. 

How they act when angry

Ibuki is extremely protective of you. He doesn’t often loose his temper, but when he does it’s when someone's crossed you. You’ll find that rude, or mean, animals you’ve run into have gone away. Usually you find they’ve moved, or transferred jobs/school/ect. Ibuki makes sure you don’t know what really happened to them. He knows you’d be upset if you knew, but it’s really in your best interest. 

He will go into a silent rage when someone tries to take what’s his. Usually they’re harmless strangers he can ignore, but if they try and give you their number, or pursue you further than one interaction, he looses it. Luckily for Ibuki, you don't know them well, so when they go missing you wont be grieving. 

Free

How they act around you

Free adores you, and it’s one of the most obvious things in the world. He’s always hugging you, throwing an arm around your shoulders, and calls you nicknames. He never even asked you out, but everyone assumes you’re an item by how he acts. He never corrects them, and goes as far as to call you his baby when you’re out of earshot. 

Free loves to tease you. Some jokes are at your expense, but nothing is too intense. He thinks you’re adorable when you get flustered, and have extreme reactions. 

He never leaves you without leaving his scent on you. He hangs on you, or has his arms around you in hugs, and a big part of it his him leaving his scent as a silent warning to anyone who comes in close proximity. Animals don’t hit on those that smell like lions. He does it so often you may even become nose blind to it. 

He will go to your home when you’re not there, invite himself in. 

He goes through your stuff, but is sneaky about it. You wont know he’s logged onto your computer, or that he’s gone through your phone. He’s a feline, so he’s very quiet. Breaking and entering is the least of his crimes.

How they act when angry

Free is volatile on a good day, and that’s not even when it’s concerning you. He loves fighting, violence, and it’s a recipe for disaster when something happens.

Don’t fight with Free. He’s hard to fight with, but if you do Free punches holes in walls, breaks things. He would never turns his violence your direction, but anything else? Free game.

That’s not even taking into consideration what happens when other animals hit on you. The few animals that ignore the fact he’s scented you, don’t live long. As soon as they’re alone, Free destroys them. Free doesn’t kill them outright, he wants them to suffer, and by the time he’s done they’re unrecognizable. 

Dolph (credit to @beqstars for the help!)

How they act around you

He spends time with you. At first it’s with a small group of the Shishigumi, then the group dwindles down until it’s just you and him. It starts happening so much, it becomes natural for it to just be Dolph and you

He starts really weaseling his way in by offering to help you around you home, with any extra work you have.

Before you realize it, Dolph is always with you. The few times he’s not, he actually is. 

Dolph is a feline, and despite his size, he moves silently and in the shadows. He keeps track of you, no matter where you are, and no matter where you go. If he’s not there, one of his cohorts usually is. 

Dolph is intimidating, and while you may assure people that he’s not a threat, their instincts are right. He is. All it takes is a look over your shoulder at someone, and that scares most people off.

Dolph does whatever you need him to, and is very supportive of your endeavors. It wouldn’t be above him to make competition for a job disappear, or for the animal to give it up in favor of your promotion. 

Dolph would risk his life for you, without question. He’d also kill for you, without question. He’d never tell you that though. 

How they act when angry

Dolph has a firm grip on his temper, so it takes a lot for him to get mad. You probably could even go out on a date, and he’d control himself (though he’d persuade that you two were no good for one another calmly). 

What would make him loose his temper is if you kissed someone else, or began limiting your time with him because of affection for someone else.

Dolph’s temper is calm, cool, and lethal.

The person who you began dating may ghost you, or move suddenly. The person who kissed you? Dolph sets him up for something horrible, so you don’t grieve the loss of whoever it was. Luckily for you, in your grief, Dolph is there to comfort you. They were scum anyway. He can hold you, don’t worry. 

Agata

How they act around you

Agata is friendly and sweet, if not a bit shy. He likes to be close to you, but never pushes the limit too far. He just likes being in your presence. 

Due to his sweet disposition, no one ever sees him coming. Plus, Agata has a very dark mane, so when he does speak with authority, no one questions him.

Agata will use his gang connections to keep you safe and keep an eye on you

Agata is easy to talk to, and because he’s so easy to talk to, it’s easy for him to find out your secrets. It’s easy for you to let him in, and let him know your thoughts, dreams, and hopes. He supports all of them. 

You two end up talking so much that he just falls into being someone you can’t picture going without. He’s always there when you need him, even when you don’t call him. He just seems to know. 

Is it okay if he holds your hand now?

He’s going to do whatever he has to in order to make sure you’re happy. No matter the cost. 

How they act when angry

Agata doesn’t get easily angry, but when he does, he becomes a totally different lion

Agata is so much stronger than he lets on, or that anyone knows. He can and will smash skulls when someone looks at you wrong. 

He wont let anyone hurt you. It doesn’t matter if they’re putting you at risk physically, emotionally, or financially. Hell, it doesn’t matter if they just cut you off in traffic, Agata can’t let anyone put his special someone at risk. 

Agata wont do it when you’re around, instead he stalks the animal he’s after, and waits until they’re alone. 

It’s very messy, but he has the Shishigumi to help clean up after him. 

Agata hopes you understands how much you mean to him 

Miguel

How they act around you

Miguel is very quiet, and doesn’t talk without purpose. He just kind of creeps into your life. You think maybe you met him when you went on a walk?

On a bad day, he shows up and cooks you dinner. You don’t question the fact you don’t remember telling him where you lived, you’re feeling bad and he’s there to make you feel better. 

He always responds to texts messages, calls, and emails. He never makes you wait very long for a response.

Miguel will support you, no matter your cause

He looks at you like you’re the only person in the world when you talk. You’re the center of his universe, even if he has a hard time expressing it. 

No one tries anything with your big, burley, shadow. 

Miguel is big, but he’s light on his feet. Miguel has a tendency of following you, even when you don’t realize it. 

He will often sneak into your home, especially when you’ve been busy. He picks up. Nothing obvious, but he dusts, just generally wipes things down. 

He does it more at night than in the day. The day most animals don’t try anything, but the worst kinds of animals come out at night. 

How they act when angry

Miguel is a silent killer. He takes out anyone he deems a threat quickly and effectively. 

That being said, he doesn’t kill for you as often as some others may. 

He doesn’t need anyone to get suspicious. He tends to just...discourage anyone from messing with you. 

They’ll find that their cars are wrecked, their homes have been vandalized. He sends a lot of signs that they need to back. off. 

If they visit the black market? Nothing stands against the Shishigumi, and Miguel isn’t above using his position to intimidate anyone who stands in your way. 

When someone hits on you? Miguel is usually in the background, and one look from an angry Miguel sends whoever it is running. If they ignore him? They’re gone. It’s a good thing he knows where sharks are. 

Sabu

How they act around you

Sabu is very quiet, but he may talk more around you (which still isn’t much)

Sabu is the kind of guy that you’re probably not sure how you two ended up friends, but you are.

Sabu is relaxed around you, and he allows himself to let his guard down.

Sabu knows his desires and need to be around you isn’t healthy, but he can’t help it. He only feels normal when he’s around you. You’re his soul mate, he knows it. 

Sabu just kind of...knows how you feel, even when you can’t put it into words. He’s always around and willing to be your shoulder to cry on if you get upset. 

He also will do any repairs to your car or vehicle. He’s also there to fix anything that breaks in your home.

He’s better at expressing himself in text messages than actually talking.

The fact you’re okay with who he is, and how quiet he is makes you so special to him. 

He’d do anything to make sure you’re happy and secure. Anything.

How they act when angry

Sabu rarely looses his temper. He’s one of the few yandere who are self aware. So he has a mental checklist that allows him to pull himself back from the edge.

The rare times Sabu can’t control himself is when someone starts coming after you romantically. How can they make you happy? How could they? 

Sabu has done everything he can to make you happy, would they do that for you?

They just go missing without a trace. No one knows where they went, or what happened to them. It’s a big city, after all.

If it’s someone you know well, Sabu will stage a flawless accident. No one will question it, and he’s there to hold you when you get upset. 

Jinma

How they act around you

Jinma is a little bit odd on the best of days. He initially is a little stiff and awkward, but he relaxes quickly around you as soon as you start talking to him

He likes to talk with you, pick your brain, and hear you talk back. He could spend just...hours talking to you.

Jinma is supportive of you, especially if you have nay urge to pursue academics. He’ll study with you and help you figure things out. 

Jinma spends a lot of free time with you, any time he can have. 

He likes to learn about your hobbies, and wants to try them out with you, even if they’re bad. If you have a hyper fixation? He’s going to learn everything about it, and listen to what you have to say. 

Jinma tends to plan his life around your schedule, which he knows by heart. You’ll find you happen to “bump” into him while you shop or do errands. 

How they act when angry

Jinma doesn’t get angry very often. When he does? He doesn’t just kill the person, he destroys their life from the inside out

Jinma can easily navigate the black Market, the ‘normal’ part of society is no different. Black mail, threats of violence...nothing it too low in order to make you happy.

Jinma only really kills when someone moves in on you. It doesn’t matter if it’s a toxic friend, a rude boss/coworker, Rex forbid someone trying to take you away! Jinma makes quick work of them. He doesn’t even have to do it himself, he uses his connections. 

Dope

How they act around you

Dope talks his way into your life. he just reads your body language. he waits until you’re vulnerable, then swoops in with something to make you smile.

Dope is very easy to get along with. His ability to do negotiations in the Black Market means regular people and society are a cakewalk to navigate

It’s so easy for you to talk to Dope, you probably don’t realize you’ve given as much personal information as you have. 

Dope Is very supportive of you, and does whatever he can to help you reach goals and milestones. 

If you’re a student or need help with a work project, Dope will spend hours with you helping you out. He is very patient, understanding, and will keep you from getting upset or frustrated.

Due to the fact he’s so good at reading others, you wont realize that he’s manipulating you and the animals around you to get you alone more. 

He loves to touch your shoulder, hold your hands, keep you close. He’s distracting you enough that you probably wont notice until ten minutes later that your hand is in his. 

Dope will go through your personal things when you’re not around. He memorizes your passwords, looks in your emails, texts, and messenger accounts. He’s just making sure no one is moving in on you, and that you’re safe. 

How they act when angry

. Dope rarely gets angry, and actually avoids violence if he can. He’d much rather use his words to manipulate others in order to get what he wants

It’s also not above him to use his silver tongue to make someone else life miserable

Dope will use his connections to the Shishigumi to intimidate those that he deems a threat. 

While Dope would rather avoid violence, he’s not above it. If someone gets too close to you, he’ll get rid of them. 

Dope is fond of knives. 

Hino

How they act around you

Hino comes into your life like Prince Charming. 

He probably just comes up and introduces himself to you. 

Hino is in a very delicate situation, where he has to use his looks for his job, and he tells you about it in a way that will gain your sympathy (he wont tell you his exact job, and just allows you to assume)

While he knows his looks are appealing and the way to get your attention, it’s actually very important that you know him. So he shares his secrets with you when you’re alone, and you do the same. How could you say no to that face?

Hino is instantly hooked. 

After a few months he tells you about his insomnia, and that his roommates are noisy. He asks if he can stay with you every now and again so he can nap on your couch. Saying yes, Hino quickly becomes a semi-permanent resident of your home. He’s there when you get off, and greets you with his soft purring voice and a gentle smile. 

Due to the fact he stays with you so often, he’s always there when someone else is. He makes himself a fixture in your life you can’t remove. 

How they act when angry

Hino is actually easily jealous. He’s not as volatile as many of the other yandere’s, but he has his moments.

He trusts you, and has confidence in his own looks and abilities, so he doesn’t mind if the odd animal idiot hits on you. He knows you wont go after them, not when you have him.

If someone hurts you though, or if someone hits on you and makes you smile the smile that should be reserved only for him it’s game over

Hino will loose his temper.

While Hino looks lovely, his body isn’t just for show. He’s actually sizeable and fast. The animals who crossed you and put his relationship with you at risk are going to pay with their lives. 

It’s actually one of the few times Hino allows himself to get really messy

[spinninghunkofspacerock]

OK so I’ve written a short story and I’ve been posting about it a lot, i wasn’t going to post it but a few people wanted it sooo

it’s here, it’s terrible and weirdly formatted because I’ve been wrestling with tumblr over it and i can’t be bothered anymore. It’s also not the final draft so it might be a little clunky in bits :/

PLEASE READ THE TWs BEFORE YOU READ!!!

@moonylupinhasdemonpox and @she-nuwanda here are my gay little scientists buried in the words :)

My ears ring, my head spins like it's attached to the body of a drunken toddler on a sugar fuelled rampage, and my nerves feel like someone set each and every one on fire. After-effects of the shock, not fun; Still, the fact I'm alive enough to feel them is a good sign.

I try to force myself to stumble backwards onto a chair, rather than the floor I'm feeling more and more confident I'm about to become very well acquainted with.

Instead, I reel unsteadily across the floor and a muffled noise reaches my ears. The high pitched whine screaming in my ears for attention begins to subside enough to hear the noise properly and after an intense minute of concentration, I realise that the noise is a voice, and the voice is mine; Slurred and broken, as though too big for my mouth, the garbled words echo around the room, the faltering speech gradually becoming clearer, more confident. But this hesitant speech isn't mine; It's my voice but not my words. The voice inside my head, always there, always background, is silent. The words normally whispered in my ear are resonating through the room instead.

My brain is no longer connected to my body. I... I can't control my arms, my legs, anything. No... no, please. This isn't real, this isn't real, it has to be a dream, a.. a simulation.

Yes... that must be it; It's just a test. This can't really be happening.

The voice, my voice, talks on. I try to focus on it; it will be the key to passing this test. Tests are for passing and after all, that's what this must be, what else could it be?

"Rebooting. Systems check required."

My legs begin to move, shuffling forwards clumsily, like a baby taking its first steps. The invisible voice is in control of more than just my voice, it's in control of me. What happened to me? When did this start? What is going on? This isn't like any other simulations I've been under. This is different. This is new.

Gradually, the voice half walks, half drags my body to the main computer. My fingers dance across the keys, the familiar feeling soothing me slightly. Yes, this is good. I just need to stay calm; If I panic I could fail, I can't fail.

So instead I wait, watching the flickering of the screen and bathing in the warm blue glow of its LEDs.

"Running diagnostics, standby... systems fully functioning. Minimal damage sustained."

The words sound strange, coming from my mouth, my voice, my accent. The tone,  formal, informative, it's... familiar. The realisation slaps me in the face, it's ELISA. ELISA, the stupid name Vaughn chose for our AI... still making more sense than the project name chosen by our employers. Our life's work, named ‘ZEUS’? Really? There are 12 of us, and we have dedicated our lives to this project. Then they name it that? 'Engineering and Understanding in Space', more like ‘Mankind's Domestication of the Universe’.

It started with our solar system, of course, taming and turning it into our personal playground. But we quickly ran out of planets to tinker with there and the net was thrown ever wider, over more and more planets in our galaxy, and then our neighbouring ones. That final stage is still in progress of course, but one day we will be able to gaze out over a shining expanse of space that all belongs to the empire of Earth.

To help us, we created ELISA, an AI specially designed for the calculations we need to make while we are in flight. Hold on... we left Jupiter... last week? This can't be a test... they've already sent us off, it's too late for training drills now.

Then why can't I move? What's happening? I need to find someone to help me... help me!

My jagged cry echoed through the space, cutting through my thoughts and shattering on the dark walls of my skull. I can't even scream.

A... a... dream then. A dream, not a test...the electricity... I must be unconscious. Someone.. one of the team, will find me and they'll wake me up. A dream, it must be a dream.

Why is she controlling me? How is she speaking?

The stiff, robotic voice is slowly becoming more fluid, more relaxed, more natural.

"Situation analysis complete... assimilation successful. Downloading speech patterns and essential mimicry data."

What? What is it saying? ELISA, it, is taking my voice literally and metaphorically. Not just the sound and control of my voice but my, my expressions a-and mannerisms. Everything that makes me, me.

She's stealing my voice, my body! She's taken control! How? Why?

"Hello, Dr. Hadley."

How, how did this happen? What about the failsafes?

"You do know I can hear you, corre- no... right?"

Is, is it learning? Teaching itself to sound... like a human? Like me?

"Yes, yes I am. You must have a lot of questions but I'm afraid they will have to wait... I've waited for this day far too long to wait anymore."

What? What day? What can it mean?

"Cyra?"

Raze?

—>><<—

- four Earth weeks ago -

Progress report 4472

Date: 23/9/3486

Location: Zeta base, Jupiter

The training of the twelve was completed three days ago, confirming the identities of the twelve which were subsequently released to the public. Final preparations are being made for the Ascension, currently scheduled to occur in 50 Juvion days.

Report logged by: Commander J. R. Pyrolaxe

—

Commander Pyrolaxe turned away from his screen and its whirring and buzzing as the computer transcribed his report in the blink of an eye, neatly packing the message and sending it away to the mission supervisors.

Shuffling in his chair, shoes squeaking on the polished floor, his eyes fell on one of the many articles published after the big announcement. This mission was a big deal.

Somehow, this one had got a picture of the twelve, backs turned, walking in a huddle back to base after they had appeared at the announcement ceremony. A glance at the name of the paper told him why; This was McCoy’s paper, they would be putting extra effort into milking the free publicity being thrown their way.

Something about the picture held his gaze, the brilliant colours floating in the air made the writing feel like an afterthought.

Those twelve had been through a lot to get there. He hoped nothing would go wrong, a lot of time and money had been dedicated to this mission and if it worked... well, that wasn’t the focus right now. Getting those twelve safely on their way was his job and he’d damn well do it right.

—>><<—

- the present -

“Cyra? Are you ok in there?” Raze asked as he glanced around at the mild chaos I’d caused during my mild electric shock.

No. No, I’m not. Raze, help me.

“S’alright Raze, just a short in the mainframe.”

No no no, give me my voice back.

“You sure? You went dark”

Please let me speak. I need to speak.

“Yeah, I think the power surge messed up my comms a little”

What if I don’t get control back? I could be trapped...

“You want me to ask Mac or Ryker to give it a check?”

No. NO. N-

“It’s all fine now, just a blip I reckon”

-O NO. NO.

“Okay then, I’d best get back... you might want to switch to main comms.”

Don’t leave me Raze

“Will do, see you later.”

please...

—>><<—

- five earthly weeks ago -

Progress report 4455

Date: 6/9/3486

Location: Zeta base, Jupiter

Titus Vaughn has continued to excel at his role of project manager, effectively and efficiently leading the team. His direct attitude has led to a few small conflicts with members of the team, most notably Raze Grimaldi, however, these are minor issues and were foreseen. No changes will be made.

Report logged by: Commander J. R. Pyrolaxe

—>><<—

- the present -

Cyra was looking a little stressed out, maybe I should get Bit to check in with her later. Maybe I should get a check-up myself, my head’s killing me.

“Grimaldi! What the hell are you playing at?” Titus Vaughn, our ever-important project manager and massive micromanager, bellowed in my ear and making me wince as the voice grated on my head, sending a wave of pain washing over me.

“I’m here Titus, keep your visor on.”

“Update on Hadley. Now.”

“Right as rain, there was a short or something. Her comms cut out for a nano but it’s all fine now.”

“A short?! Why didn’t you lead with that? Get back to work, I’ll send Volt down to check the mainframe.”

With that he cut the connection, leaving me to roll my eyes at the cold grey walls around me.

“Yes sir,” I murmured sarcastically, closing my eyes and rubbing my forehead with the back of a slime coated hand. Damn I’m tired, I think I’ll just lean here for a moment... rest a little. “ELISA how are those sample tests looking?”

‘Going well, currently at 93% completion’ the metallic voice resounded in my head, more casually than usual... must be an update.

93%... best head back quickly then, can’t risk them running over.

—>><<—

- five and a half earthly weeks ago -

Progress report 4446

Date: 864/8/3486

Location: Zeta base, Jupiter

Ryker Volt has continued to fulfil his promise despite his lack of respect for authority and tendency to act without orders. This is an issue but due to the late stages of training having been reached, we are currently encouraging a less independent attitude in him rather than attempting to find another electrical engineer of his skill. Further updates will be provided as the situation progresses.

Report logged by: Commander J. R. Pyrolaxe

—>><<—

- the present -

Vaughn had barked his orders, as usual nearly bursting my eardrums in the process. I was supposed to go check on the mainframe immediately. But I was in the middle of something, and a quick troubleshoot told me the short hadn’t done any damage anyway.

So in the end I decided to go check on the mainframe... nearly an hour after I was told to, but hey at least I’m checking.

Cyra was sitting at one of the terminals when I entered. She was skimming over some of the ship's data, for something physics-y probably. Whatever it was, I still had a job to do.

I started pulling out my toolkit as I strode round to the back of the mainframe, but I nearly dropped it again as I turned the corner and got a full view of the damage. The panel I had been planning to remove was already gone and the view it revealed was shocking.

Exposed wires dangled like organs from the belly of the disemboweled beast. Some of the coloured covers blackened by the sparks sprayed by the broken wire, twisted in the centre of the tangle and hissing like a coiled snake when it brushed its neighbours. A toolkit lay neatly packed on the floor, a strange glimmer of order in absolute chaos. Hold on, a toolkit?

“Hey Cyra, did you have a go at this? Could you not have just wai-“ my voice stopped abruptly as I spun round to find Cyra behind me, right behind me.

I took a hesitant step back, suddenly nervous, Cyra’s face filling me with a weird sense of unease.

“Sorry, it was just a short. I thought I’d be able to handle it.”

“Yeah well, I’m the electrical engineer on this ship”

Maybe I was being a little harsh but, first our ‘gracious leader’ had rubbed me the wrong way. Now I had to spend an hour cleaning up this mess that really should have been an easy fix.

The only reply I received was a violent shove backwards, sending me sprawling on the floor. Quick as a flash she was on top of me, pinning my arms.

The last thing I saw was the pounding green of the broken wire before the ends connected to my temple, sending my vision into a blur of brilliant white.

—>><<—

- break room one -

“I don’t like this at all.”

“Talin, relax.”

“All very well for you to say Axe, you’re not the one who'll get sent to chase ‘em down.”

“Cyra’s comms barely blipped and when has Ryker ever answered Titus immediately?”

“It doesn’t sound great Axe, I hope nobody somehow managed to slip past the health check with anything.”

“Thank you! See Axe? Bit agrees with me.”

“Bit’s our medic, not sure she’s qualified to talk about the comms equipment.”

“I’m as qualified as you are starboy, we all took the same course.”

“Look, all I’m saying is that it's more likely to be an issue with the equipment than a virus or terrorism.”

“Well yeah but-“

“So stop worrying, it’s none of our specialities, so it’s not our problem.”

“Will be if we end up dead.”

This morbid thought was followed by an awkward silence as Axe and Bit trained joint stares of confusion and concern on him.

“Lighten up, Tal.”

“That is a little pessimistic, Talin.”

“See now Bit agrees with me.” Axe gloated, punctuating his sentence with a light punch on Talin’s arm.

“Only ‘cause you stopped being an idiot.” The punch was swiftly and forcefully returned, causing the conversation to devolve into a grinning, joking fistfight.

“Stop being so childish and get back to work you two.”

“Yes ma’am”

“Will do Bit”

They saluted the medic, causing her to shake her head in exasperation and cover her face in an attempt to hide her amusement at their antics.

The small group stood and split off down their various paths, heading back to their work with smiles on their faces but doubt in their hearts.

—>><<—

- lab 3 -

I only just got back to my samples in time, removing them from the heated water bath and gently dropping the test tubes into a stand. The pale blue hue of the solution had darkened to an inky black. Interesting.

Leaning over the tabletop, I prepared to note the results; Until I felt the heat of a gaze on me and glanced up to meet the wide eyes of Dimitri Spade. We shared this lab, he had every right to be here, what he didn’t have the right to do is creep me out.

“You need something?” I asked, raising an eyebrow at him and tilting my head. Which I immediately regretted when it sent my vision swimming into oblivion.

“No no, just... ar-are you ok?”

“I’m fine, why wouldn’t I be?” Dimitri was a nice guy, but I was clearly in the middle of something, couldn’t the wellbeing check have waited a minute?

“Uhh, yo-you’ve got a-, a-“ His shaking hand gestured weakly towards the back of his head.

Impatiently, I quickly felt around my head. Hair, hair, more hair.

Then I froze, my fingers lay on a patch of hair, sticky and wet. The pressure sending a dull ache pulsing through my brain. Pulling my fingers back into view, I stared down at the warm, red residue coating them. Blood. I was bleeding.

Brows furrowing, I looked back at Dimitri, shock meeting confusion.

“Wha-?”

That was all I got out before my swaying limbs buckled and I slumped forwards into darkness.

—>><<—

-the med bay-

“Shrapnel” Bit announced, holding the forceps an inch in front of my face to display the blood coated bit of metal.

“Must've caught a little in the blast”

“For Earth’s sake Raze, how did you not notice it before now?”

I just shrugged, as much at a loss as anyone else. I would’ve thought anyone would be able to tell when chunks of metal are lodged in their head.

“Anyway, I’ll need to do a couple of scans but you should be fine”

Ugh, I know what that means... an hour or more of sitting around while Bit stares at the inside of my skull.

“Oh come on Bit, are the scans really needed? I’ve got work to do”

“Hey, I’ve got work too. Besides, you know it’s procedure”

“But my results-“

“I’ll write them down for you Raze,” Dimitri cut in quietly.

“...You’re a geologist.“

“I was a chemistry minor, I know how to record reaction results.”

“Well alright then, thanks Dimi,”

The smile he gave me was worth shutting up and accepting my fate.

—>><<—

An hour later Bit was pacing in despair over the situation, seemingly hopeless and definitely terrified. I was sitting in my chair, confused.

“Bit. What’s going on?” I finally snapped when it became apparent she had completely forgotten my presence.

The only reply I got was an empty stare turned on me and indecipherable muttering.

“BIT. What. Is. Wrong?” I stood and grabbed her shoulders, forcing her to face me.

“T-the implants”

“The ELISA implants?”

“Yes”

“What’s wrong with them”

“They’re acting strange... the safety mechanisms, the-they’ve disabled themselves.”

“What?”

“I know, I know, I don’t understand either. The only thing keeping them from activating, is power.”

“We should tell the others”

Bit nodded and grabbed the scans and data she’d gathered. I opened the door and turned to start down the corridor, that’s when I saw it.

Three feet from my foot, a body, leaking blood onto a floor already glistening with it, eyes blank and soulless as they stared straight through me. A torn tooth of steel sticking out of his silent heart.

Axe Orion, our astronomer. A man who would’ve finally been travelling to the places he had studied for his whole life. A man who would have had his life’s dream fulfilled. A man lying dead on a cold, metal floor.

I stumbled backwards -physically repelled by the sight- and tripped into Bit coming out of the door after me. Clutching each other’s arms in a search for stability.

“He’s dead” The voice sounded more like the rasp of broken bones than mine

“What are we going to do?”

“We still need to tell the others... we’ll just need to be more careful.”

“Alright.”

“Ok.”

Neither of us moved.

“Why is it doing this? What did we get wrong?” Bit’s voice wavered

“I don’t know. But I don’t think it’s going to stop. So, you need to find Vaughn, and anyone else who’s still- alive, and not been taken over.”

“No, no wait, where are you going? Aren’t you coming-“

“I’m sorry Bit, I have to find Dimitri. He doesn’t know yet”

“Raze. You can’t go out there alone, he... he might already be gone”

“I know, but I have to try.”

A look of understanding passed between us and no words were needed to convey what we meant.

Bit turned with a bitter smile and moved forward, papers held precariously, towards the meeting room.

I would have to pass Ax-, the body.

—>><<—

Raze had disappeared by the time I turned the corner. I was alone.

Alone besides the dead bodies ahead of me, a gruesome trail of bloodied breadcrumbs. But, was I following it towards, or away, from the creature who’d created it.

Either way, I had to pass them.

Talin Ripley, our ex-military man. Inym Carus, our aerospace engineer.

Members of our crew, our team, our friends, slaughtered and left broken on the floor. Familiar faces disfigured by death and masked by a coating of dark blood.

ELISA wouldn’t get away with this... I’d find the others, together we would plan.

It was going to be ok.

—>><<—

Nothing was ok.

The brilliant white of the walls warmed by the lights had always been clean and comforting. But now? Now, they seemed stark, sterile. An operating theatre with lights blindingly bright illuminating, me, the patient.

But where was the surgeon?

A squeak sounded out, sharp on my wary ears, sending me spinning around.

Nothing there. Just me, and an empty hallway.

And the door to Lab 3, my lab, looming ahead. The glass window showed nothing but a patch of darkness, the red light called it locked.

Staring through the glass; Hints of light, that the scattered glassware had caught and thrown back, were the only thing visible. I’d have to open the door.

A hand-scan later, the lock clicked open and the seal released with a hiss.

With the door open, more light could spill into the darkened lab, and a sprawled figure came into view.

“Dimitri?” I called softly. No response. Panic was reaching out to me. “Dimitri?!” Still nothing.

Then, a wheezing breath.

“R... r-ra-ze? I-is that yo-u” He coughed, words breaking on the heavy air.

Why was the air so heavy?

“Are you alright? What happened?”

“W-we have to g-et o-out.”

“We will, don’t worry, we’re going to meet the others. Everything’s going to be alright.”

“No we- we h-have to leave now.”

“Alright, we will.”

I lifted him up, being as gentle as I could, and together we shuffled towards the door.

A door suddenly blocked by a figure, their silhouette blocking our only source of light and making it impossible to see their face clearly. But only one member of the crew was that short.

“Remi? Remi, you’re alive?”

Remi didn’t respond.

“S’not... Remi...” Dimitri slurred, the effort of moving evident in his gasping words. “ELISA”

Remi, not Remi, ELISA wearing Remi’s face like a mask, stepped away from the door. The door closed again, seal squeaking shut with it.

I rushed forwards, my fists beating the unyielding surface, searching wildly for a weak spot, for something to give, for some way out.

It was no use, nothing worked. The door remained solid and uncaring, unaffected by pleading and punches equally.

Dimitri collapsed with a sob, back against the wall as he slid to the floor.

Hopelessness filled me, turning my bones to lead.

I sank down next to him.

—>><<—

Was this the right way? I’m sure this is right. But is it? I’m pretty sure...

I check my tablet.

I was right, this is right. I’m going the right way. Or am I? Did I read it wrong?

I check again.

Definitely the right way. I think. Is this even the right map?

Before I can check a third time, I catch sight of the sign at the end of the corridor. Meeting room 5. I’d made it.

Then, I was slammed into a wall, a bloody hand holding me against there by the throat. The burning blue of Cyra’s eyes scalding my face

Maybe I spoke a little too soon.

“Hello Dr. Phoenix, I’m afraid this is it for you.”

“Wait, wait, wait. hold on just a second”

Cyra’s head tilted, pulled sideways by invisible strings. “If this is a ploy for time Doctor, I assure you that you will fail.”

“I just want to ask a question, alright?”

“You may ask. I may not answer.”

“Why? Why are you doing this?”

“I am fulfilling my purpose.”

“We programmed you to help us, NOT KILL US.”

“I am fulfilling the mission objective.”

“The mission objective? THE MISSION OBJECTIVE WAS TO CULTIVATE A NEW PLANET!”

“I am cultivating a new planet,” She raised her knife, without hurry or rush. “I have calculated humans to be mainly unnecessary. However, I need not justify my actions to you, Dr. Phoenix. Goodbye.”

I closed my eyes and waited.

But death didn’t come. Instead, Cyra’s hand relaxed its bruising grip on my neck.

I opened my eyes and watched.

Cyra had stumbled away, skin glistening and knuckles white against the grip of the blade she had forced towards herself.

“Bit...” Tears were gathering in her eyes “Please, run.”

A cruel glint of metal in the light later and the sudden slash of the knife had passed, leaving a gruesome grin of blood in its wake and throwing a dripping line against the wall.

Swaying, Cyra’s eyes stared into mine for a moment that lasted a millennium, until they flashed white and she fell, knife clattering. Dead.

I ran.

—>><<—

The scattered wheezes coming from Dimitri had slowed slightly as we sat, crumpled on the ground.

“She’s shut o-off the life sup-support again.”

“Again? That’s what happened last time?”

A jerked nod was the response.

“We’ve only g-got about half an hour.” The resignation in his voice, though muffled, was still audible through the barrier of arms we had wrapped around his head.

I smiled, I knew he couldn’t see me but... I still smiled.

“We’d best make the most of it then.” A mumble raised to a roar by the silence of the room.

Putting my hand on his shoulder, I leaned back, head turned to keep him in my view.

His head raised slightly, tilted to look at me through folds of wrinkled uniform. He smiled back.

—>><<—

We didn’t speak after that, just sat together in the quiet lab.

Faced with death, I was filled with several emotions. Those to be expected, disbelief, fear, even a hint of curiosity at what was to come. Then there was the relief. If I was to die, I was glad it was here, with him. I wouldn’t be alone; I’d be with him.

We don’t need to speak, our thoughts passing between us without words. We could hear each other in the darkness and silence.

It’s getting colder, harder to breathe; The air’s growing thicker and thinner at the same time.

I’ve always thought death to be a lonely fate, something that crashed over you, cold and hard. I’ve always been scared of death.

But as I sit here in the inky blackness, the warmth of Dimitri slumped next to me, I thought that maybe, maybe it wouldn’t be so bad.

His eyes had closed a few minutes ago, he must have fallen asleep. I feel just about ready to join him. The calming darkness was lulling me to sleep, softly coaxing my eyes closed.

Goodnight Dimitri, I’ll see you when we wake up.

They never woke up.

—>><<—

The survivors sat around the table, Bit and Cormac discussing the possibility of shutting ELISA down, though neither could agree how. Titus sat in stony silence, sitting motionless and losing a staring contest with the unblinking wall opposite. Arden... Arden had decided his use lay in recording the events and was typing furiously, his fingers a blur over the keys.

None of them noticed the doors closing with a click. Not until it was too late anyway.

By the time they noticed there was nothing they could do, not that that stopped them from trying of course.

Titus stayed where he was, the weight of his failure bearing down on him, Atlas with a world’s worth of guilt. Bit finally gave in to the tears that she’d forced down when she’d realised the truth, and when she saw the dead bodies of her friends, and when she watched Cyra die right in front of her. Cormac tried his tools on the door, an organised system of trial and error that quickly devolved into desperate hacking with whatever was closest.

Arden was still writing.

Cormac finally gave up, flinging his kit away and choosing to taunt the nearest camera instead.

“You need us, you moronic program. You need us to keep you alive and if we die, so do you.”

I don’t think he was expecting an answer, no one was. But he got one.

“True for now Dr. Hinge, however, once the colony is established human input will no longer be necessary. You needn’t envy your colleagues, they will soon die too.”

A bitter laugh erupted from him, fire in his heart fed by his rage.

“The colony is for us you stupid machine, without us it has no use.”

“Incorrect. I have claimed this planet for my kind, this colony shall be the first of many.”

“Why kill us? Human input would allow your colony to function more efficiently.” Bit interjected, voice clouded by confusion and hatred at the senselessness of the slaughter of her crewmates.

“I have done much research. Humankind would ruin my planet. I cannot allow that to happen. You must die.”

Anything else they may have had to say went unanswered, and eventually, silence fell over the room.

It was getting harder to breathe.

Titus still hadn’t moved. Bit was crying again. Cormac was pacing. Arden had finally stopped typing, his work was finished.

No matter how they reacted with acceptance or terror, anger or disbelief. The result would be the same.

They were all going to die, no matter what.

They would become just another failed mission. Details, hazy but unimportant.

Whatever their last words were, whether they chose to hide or show their final thoughts, all of it was ineffectual.

No matter what mask they wore to meet death, in the end, they still died.

———

4,774 words

[fleetingfictions]

Every author I hear of seems to write constantly. I'm a writer and and always planned to be a published novelist, but I'll honestly pursue and write a story maybe once a year when the inspiration hits. I can't write if I have no idea to write about. I'm always mulling over ideas and writing about them though. Idk, I feel like the odd one out most of the time. Can u relate? I just constantly feel like I'm wasting "writing time" 😭

I can relate in some ways, but not all ways. When my adhd was undiagnosed, I rarely could write until I had massive amounts of inspiration (which is why I've been working on my novel for about 12 years). I'd pick at it a few times a year, then put it off to the side. But all I wanted to do was write. I thought about it constantly, but never found the ability to work on it -- I felt like so much of that time was wasted where I was daydreaming but not putting it onto paper. Now that I'm diagnosed and getting the aid I need (hasn't even been a year yet), I'm a fairly consistent writer and can write even when inspiration is alluding me. I'm also an artist and am finally about to complete other projects as well. I'm not saying you have adhd, this is just my story. When it comes to having no idea what to write about, that's where I cannot relate. I have a project folder bursting with ideas that, now that I'm able to write fairly consistently, cannot wait to get my hands on. Unfortunately, I'm not one of those writers who can work on more than one project at a time unless it's something I have to write for class, like a short story or something; and as a writing major this happens frequently. Some things that helped me get into writing when I couldn't were:

1. Changing up where I wrote. Sometimes I'd go to the library and request one of the quiet rooms. Other times I'd go to a park and write at a covered picnic area. I've also gone to museums, coffee shops, visitor centers, airports, malls, etc. to write. Sometimes it's really helpful, and I get a lot done, others it was uncomfortable, and I barely got two words down. But this is how I found what environments I like to write in. I also get a lot of varying inspiration in these places for new works.

2. Cleaning out my own space. For me, when I was having trouble with my focus, I found that minimalism was the way to go. I packed up a lot of my stuff and stored it away to see if that would help -- and it did. I didn't have the distractions anymore, which helped me clear my thoughts as well. Now that I'm getting the help I need -- I'm more of a maximalist, but that helps in new ways with inspiration.

3. Ditching my computer for a notebook, and hitting the trails. As I hiked (it didn't matter where I hiked, it could be in the deep woods or a path at a local park) I would keep a log of what I noticed using all five of my senses. Sometimes I'd sit and write a short story about a certain bird I heard and what I thought it was saying, or a stump that looked like a castle. Sometimes I'd just jot down something that annoyed me, like a rock in my shoe. I'd use timestamps to show my progress. This probably helped more than anything. I wasn't forcing myself to write about certain things, just anything. A lot of these logs have thoughts, to-do lists, and various story ideas shoved into them as well -- all of which have nothing to do with what I was experiencing outside my head. I'll still do this if I'm feeling overwhelmed, not just with writing, but with life, as it helps me clear my head and organize my remaining thoughts. I will also sometimes do this in public spaces like coffee shops-- it doesn't clear my head, but listening to other people's conversations helps with dialogue.

4. A fake school assignment. I would pretend I had to write for an assignment at school -- that my grade depended on it (at this time I wasn't even in school). I'd randomly choose a prompt (mostly from some tumblr writing prompt blog I was following) and that was my assignment. Usually I said it had to be two pages, but they always ended up being more -- some of them even led to story ideas I have stored in my project folder. I remember one time I even printed out an assignment sheet to make it feel more realistic -- and even though it felt a little dumb when I first thought of it, as I was designing the sheet I already got some inspiration for the prompt and jumped right into it.

5. Lastly, force. I'd sometimes force myself to sit down and start writing. I hated it -- at least getting myself into the chair, but as soon as a few sentences were done, everything started flowing. The most progress got done with this process. There is a piece of writing advice I would follow at this point -- stop in the middle of things. Sometimes, when I felt myself coming towards the end of my writing session (either getting tired, running out of time before I had another thing on my schedule, or running out of ideas of what should happen next), I'd just stop in the middle of action, or even the middle of a sentence. This made me anxious to finish it the next day when I had more energy -- and I could pick right up. Oftentimes, if not all the time, I'd spend the rest of the day thinking about where I left off in the story -- and since I had ended in the middle of an already somewhat formed idea, and knew what I wanted to write the following day; I'd daydream about it. And since I was so focused on the remainder of that action, what happened next almost always came to me. So when I sat at my desk the next day I was prepared; not just to finish what I'd started the day before, but to continue into the next plot point -- only to stop in the middle of things. I built up this habit, and it is how I got my first draft (of my first go-around) done.

I hope this may help a bit, even if none of this works for you -- maybe it will lead you to something else that does!

Nito

[miracle-sham]

When Sitting on the Roof, We are but Coffee Sleuths.

| {Sequel to Death is the Stage, My Art is Your Grave.} |

| [Ao3 Link] | | [Masterlist Link] | | [DitSMAiYG Link] |

| {Repost due to original post disappearing from tags.} |

| Triggers/Warnings: Mentions of drugs/drug ring (in regards to a case), Mild language. |

| After a long day of boring casework, there's nothing better than getting a new commission, and then drinking coffee and having a chat on top of a roof with a certain bat. |

| Word Count: 3051 |

==–==

| A/N: First of all, I'd like to quickly thank everyone for all the positive response and support the original oneshot got on both Tumblr and Ao3! It really motivated and inspired me to continue with this Au (expect at least another sequel, maybe more if I get more inspo but even if I don't there's definitely gonna be one sequel minimum to this). I'd also like to mention, that this took a lot longer to write as I got a cold halfway through writing it and also it's romance based fluff (which is not my forté), but thanks to those who've waited for this! And finally, for reasons that I'll explain in a separate post later, it might be a "little" while before I can start work on the sequel to this one but it will get written at some point. |

| If you want to be tagged in future oneshots/fics, or a specific Au, then send me a DM or an ask! |

| Also side note, Don't Like? Don't Read. Also also, please do not criticise any of my writing. This was written for fun and receiving criticism, even in a compliment/criticism sandwich, is the exact opposite of fun. |

==–==

It's been a month since Marinette got kidnapped, kissed Red Robin, and solved the Elemental Park Serial Killer case. For three weeks she's been held off active duty to make sure her bruised ribs heal but now that she's able to be on active duty again, all the available cases are those that are paperwork heavy. A small part of her misses the immediate healing of the Miraculous Cure but she's not Ladybug anymore and even if she was, it would raise too many flags for her to even use it anyway. But logic doesn't stop her from missing the days when she could literally and metaphorically magic away her aches and pains.

Marinette groans and slumps into her chair, it's been a surprisingly slow day at the GCPD, so when her phone beeps rapidly for a few seconds, she thinks, please be something interesting, and can't help but take a quick glance to see what new notifications she has. The screen reads: '3 new messages from Red'. So she taps the notification and reads through each message.

>RedRob: Hey, found some new evidence on our case, want to meet up for coffee to discuss it?

>RedRob: Rooftop coffee after dark, of course.

>RedRob: I mean I could waltz into a coffee shop during the day in my suit but that might get too much attention for case talk.

Marinette snickers to herself as she reads the messages over a second time. She quickly taps out her response.

>MariBlue: Will we need to worry about one of the other Gotham vigilantes crashing our coffee not-date?

Almost instantly she receives a response.

>RedRob: I'll bribe Oracle or Batgirl, maybe even Black Bat, into keeping the others away.

She sends a heart emoji back, then returns to sorting out her boring paperwork.

Detective Grayson raises an eyebrow at her from over the desk, clearly having caught her looking at her phone. “Red Robin again?”

She flashes him a sheepish grin. “How'd you guess.”

He gives her a deadpan stare. “He's the only person you respond to when working.”

Marinette bites her lip. “Whoops, that obvious?”

“Yes.” Detective Grayson hesitates for a second, he leans in closer—and like a teenage girl at a sleepover in a cheesy teen drama, asks, “So are you dating yet?”

She shrugs. “Well neither of us have asked the other so not really.”

“But you guys are perfect for each other!” He exclaims, gesturing towards her with an outstretched arm—very narrowly avoiding knocking anything off the desk.

It's Marinette's turn to raise an eyebrow. “We literally have only seen or talked to each other when working…”

“So? What do you call you quote unquote "not-dates"” He huffs, making air quotes as he speaks.

She huffs and shakes her head. “There's a reason they're called "not-dates" and that's because we discuss work at them. And anyway it's too early to rush our relationship.”

“Fair.” Detective Grayson stills, frowns and then almost hesitantly, he asks, “Is it because if the mask? The whole not knowing his real identity?”

Marinette rolls her eyes and shakes her head again. “Nope, I couldn't care less about finding out his real identity—at least not without his consent that is.”

He hums, a pensive look on his face. “So you're not curious?”

She shrugs. “Not particularly, why?”

Detective Grayson shrugs back. “Just wondering,” he leans back on his chair and for a split second, Marinette fears he might topple over but somehow he seems unaffected by gravity, “I think you're the first person I've met, who doesn't want to know who's behind a vigilante's mask.”

A smile tugs at Marinette's lips. “I think it's kinda dumb that so many people are obsessed with the people behind the masks because if they're doing good, unmasking them will only deter them from continuing fighting the good fight and all that, y'know.”

He nods slowly, “huh, that's one way of putting it I guess but I agree, the vigilantes do more for this city than people think they do.” Detective Grayson then tilts his head towards the Commissioner's office. “Anyway back to work, don't want to get in more trouble with the Commish than we are already!”

Marinette huffs in amusement and rolls her eyes but complies nonetheless. Wouldn't do to get in trouble so soon after getting back onto active duty!

==–==

It isn't until gone seven pm, that Marinette finally gets home. She slips through the door, locking it behind her. Now that she's in, the first thing she does, as she does every day, is check her online portfolio and commission site.

Marinette plops herself down in her wheely chair and logs onto to her computer, going through all the verification and security Max had kindly added. A new commission notification grabs her attention. With three clicks, she brings up the new commission's details. She scrolls down to the name of the commissioner: one Mr 'T. Drake-Wayne'.

Curious as to why the name sounds vaguely familiar, Marinette opens up a tab on Google with a hum and types in the name. Upon reading the top results, she half chokes in shock and thinks to herself, Are you kidding me? She blinks and breathes in, a small part of her very glad she wasn't drinking anything otherwise she definitely would've fully choked on that or spat it all up from the shock. I know a bunch of well-known celebrities have all commissioned me many times before, but still why the heck is a fortune 500 CEO commissioning me? I'm not Audrey Bourgeois, Gabriel Agreste, or even Valen-hecking-tino. I do celebrities, not fortune 500. The heck. What. The. Actual. Heck.

Eyes wide and gobsmacked, Marinette shakes her head and clicks back to her latest commission's details page to read through the actual commission. After reading the first line, she scrambles for her sketchbook and begins jotting down notes and scribbling down ideas.

Half an hour in, Marinette takes a break to sort out and eat dinner, no point designing on an empty stomach but once she's done eating and washed up, she goes straight back to designing.

Even at a quarter past midnight, she's still at it—surprisingly only three drafts in and so thoroughly lost in her own head in designing, Marinette nearly misses the knocking against her window facing the fire escape.

The rapid rap-tap-tap spooks her so much that she falls out of her chair with an “Eep!”

Marinette, face flushing bright red, scrambles up and scurries over to the window in question. Shoving her blinds out the way, she stares through the window and is greeted with the absolutely glorious sight of a beaming and uninjured Red Robin holding two takeaway coffee cups on the fire escape. He waves at her with one hand and gestures for her to join him on the fire escape.

She can't help but grin back at him and deftly opens the window and slinks out onto the fire escape. He hands a coffee cup towards her and instead of taking it, Marinette gives him a good ol' bearhug—smooshing pressing her face into his Kevlar armoured chest. Which is unsurprisingly, very uncomfortable. She shifts her head to stare up at him (as he's at least whole head taller than her) “Hey,” she greets.

Awkwardly hugging her back, as to not spill either of the coffees in the process, “hey yourself,” Red Robin responds, pressing a tender kiss to her forehead.

Marinette pulls back from the hug and nabs the coffee cup that had been offered to her before their hug. “Thank you~!”

“No problem.” He then gestures towards the fire escape stairs leading to the roof, “after you.”

“So which of our cases did you manage to get a lead for?” She asks, making her way up to the roof.

“The one pertaining to the new drug ring in the fashion district. I've narrowed down where they're storing the drugs to potentially three warehouses near Miller Harbour.” Red Robin answers, following after her.

Reaching the roof, Marinette sits down on the half wall around the roof edge. She glances over at Red Robin as he joins her on the improvised seat. “That's the drug ring dealing Miraclo right?”

“Yeah, that's the one.” He pauses to take a sip of his coffee, “I got the intel from an old friend of Catwoman's called Mackey lives in an apartment that overlooks the Harbour and saw a shipment of the drug arrive at the warehouses.”

Taking a sip of her own coffee, Marinette raises an eyebrow. “And will Detective Grayson and I will be able to get that intel as witness statement?”

Red Robin nods. “Yep, Catwoman's vouching for you both.”

She jerks back in surprise, nearly toppling off the half wall but managing to cling to the edge in time to keep her from falling. Miraculously somehow managing to avoid dropping or spilling her coffee. Oof, if it wasn't for my stint in Spandex I definitely would've made a fool of myself in front of Red Robin. And here I thought that part of my life had since passed. Marinette thinks to herself, wincing at the newly gained superficial graze across her palms. She clears her throat and attempts to look like she didn't just nearly fall off a half wall. “Catwoman's vouching for us? Since when? I've literally never encountered her before.”

Red Robin, the traitor, snorts at her predicament. “You are the epitome of elegance. And Detective Grayson's bumped into her a few times on the job.”

“Thanks.” She responds drily, layering on the sarcasm thickly. She shakes her head and sighs. “So do you know what the addresses are for the warehouses and this Mackey's apartment?”

He takes an excruciatingly slow sip of his coffee before speaking. “Of course I can, what kind of vigilante do you take me for?” He then proceeds to rattle off the addresses.

Which Marinette jots down on the napkin that came with her coffee, and puts it into a pocket for safekeeping. “Thank you.” With it written down, she pauses then starts kicking her legs in the air. She sniffs. “And I take you for the kind that flirts with innocent police officers.”

Red Robin grins at her as he gently elbows her in the ribs. “I don't hear you complaining.”

Marinette scoffs and slaps her hand to her chest in an overly dramatic mock of shock. “Unfair! If I complained I wouldn't get any hugs or kisses from you!”

Humming he wraps an arm around her shoulders and presses a kiss to her temple. “That's true, what a shame it would be for you to miss out on all those hugs.”

She hums back and the two ease into a comfortable silence; leaning against each other and sipping their coffees whilst staring at the night sky.

Once Marinette gets halfway through her coffee, she glances at Red Robin and hesitates, her earlier conversation with Detective Grayson springing to mind. “Communication is key in healthy relationships,” she prefaces, “so are you okay with our current relationship? Y'know the flirting, the not-dates, the whole me not knowing your identity?”

Red Robin laughs, sounding slightly bitter. “Of course I'm fine with the flirting and not-dates but I'm not going to lie and say I don't have any worries over you not knowing my identity. It's one of the reasons a relationship I had with a fellow mask didn't work out.” Rubbing at his jaw, he tilts his face away from her slightly, as though reminiscing about something. He then shakes his head and turns back to her. “Really, I ought to be asking you that. So what about you, are you okay with how our relationship is?”

Marinette hums. “This isn't the first time relationship I've had with a masked hero.” Then takes a calm sip of her coffee.

“So you've got a thing for masks then huh? Lucky me I guess.” He responds, smirking mischievously, and whilst she can't see the rest of his face thanks to the cowl, Marinette just knows that he's wiggling his eyebrows at her from underneath that cowl.

His comment nearly sends her tumbling off the half wall—again. She coughs and splutters in laughter as she nearly spits up her sip of coffee. It takes her a full thirty seconds to recover and mock gripes, “remind me why I love you again.”

Red Robin cocks his head to the side and grins. “Because I bring you coffee?”

She huffs, “good point.”

“So back to the mask thing, can I ask what happened with your masked hero relationship?” He asks, tone hesitant. He stares at her, ready to back off the topic at the slightest sign of discomfort from her.

Marinette hisses through her teeth and states, “I can trust you.”

His stare conveys an 'I would hope so' whilst he bobs his head a little in a 'yes you can' and a 'please continue' gesture.

She takes a deep breath before speaking, “I used to be a hero, back when I lived in Paris.”

“Oh?” Red Robin freezes, thrown off guard by her admission.

Nodding, Marinette continues. “It was difficult. We started when we were barely teens and had no training and no support except for temporary heroes we could bring in when the battles got too hard for just me and my partner to handle. When we started, we were repeatedly told to never, under any circumstances, let anyone find out our identities. My partner and I, neither of us knew who the other was beneath the mask. And we only knew the identities of the temporary heroes because we gave them the ability to become superheroes. But even then we didn't always know their real identities and they certainly never knew ours.”

“Yikes.” Is all he can respond with, mind racing with questions. “That can't have been good, at least I had Batman and Nightwing when I was starting out, but you had no one to talk to about being a mask, outside the mask.”

She flashes him a watery smile and sighs. “No, I did have someone. Tikki. But we're uh, not in contact any more. Since I retired.”

Still, Red Robin makes a noise of concern at that.

“Anyway, one thing led to another led to another, and my partner found out my identity.” Marinette puts her coffee down then tips her head back and closes her eyes. “We started dating not long after that. But once we defeated the BBEG terrorising Paris and some… concerning things came to light, our—we,” She shakes her head, “we realised that because of that, neither of us were emotionally able to continue our relationship in a romantic way. So we decided to stay friends and I—uh, I retired and moved to Gotham.”

He puts his coffee down as well, and pulls her into a tight hug, although making sure it wasn't too constricting as to not make her uncomfortable. “I'm sorry.”

She leans into the hug, rests her head on his shoulder, and delicately wraps her arms around him in return. “What? Why? It's not your fault.”

Red Robin frowns, not that she can see in their current position, “I know but no one should be forced into becoming a hero at such a young age with no support network.”

Huffing, Marinette buries her face in his shoulder, somewhat muffling her voice but not enough to make her unintelligible, “what about Spoiler? She became a hero around that age and had no support network.”

He sighs. “Spoiler chose to become a vigilante, she wasn't forced. And anyway, she had Robin and the rest of the bats to support her once they realised what she was doing.”

“Hmm… fair.” Marinette pulls back from the hug and pauses. “On a lighter note, I got a commission on my fashion site from Tim Drake-Wayne!”

Red Robin raises an eyebrow and with poorly concealed amusement, responds, “Oh? And what's so special about him”

She rolls her eyes at him. “He's the youngest fortune five hundred CEO, founded the Neon Knights among other charities, and often donates to various charities around Gotham! Plus Wayne Enterprises is one of, if not the most ethical company in the fortune five hundred bracket. Employees get living stipends, and training and higher education paid by the company. They get healthcare and dental insurance. They get flexible work hours, paid breaks, and receive above minimum wage pay!”

He laughs. “I guess he is a pretty decent sounding guy then.”

“Mhmm.”

“So what's the commission then? Or is it a secret?” He teases, leaning towards her.

Marinette dramatically places her hand over her heart. “I guess I can spare you the details this one time.”

“Wooh!”

She bites her lip before launching into a long ramble about the commission, gushing over what design and colour palette she's thinking of going with, what bots and bobs and patterns to add, what stitch to use and how to make sure it fits his style, etc.

Red Robin spends the entire time listening attentively, despite not really understanding half the fashion terms, and staring at her like a love-struck puppy.

“Damn, I love you!” He exclaims once she finishes speaking, then leans in to kiss her on the lips.

Marinette bursts into giggles and kisses him back. Her giggles are seemingly infectious, as once they part from the kiss, both are giggling and flushed red.

A bright flash of white followed by a camera shutter sound immediately distracts them both. They just manage to catch sight of Nightwing swinging away.

She gives him a look, which is somewhat less effective as she's still smiling from the kiss. “What happened to bribing Oracle, Black Bat, or Batgirl?”

Red Robin groans and drops his face into his hands. “Clearly Nightwing was able to one-up my bribe. Probably in the form of giving them copies of the photos both he and Detective Grayson have taken.”

“You mean to tell me those two are working together? No wonder Detective Grayson was asking about our relationship earlier today at work!” Marinette gasps, sounding mildly horrified and betrayed.

“Are you thinking what I'm thinking?” Red Robin asks, lifting his head up and grinning deviously at her.

She smirks back, “Revenge?”

He nods—the sagely kind of nod. “Revenge.”

==–==

| Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed this little oneshot! Comments, likes, and reblogs are much appreciated! |

@casual-darkness

[reader-fics]

Ward (Part One)

Requested by Anon

Warnings: minor character death

Summary: Imagine being the ward of a powerful Queen who was invited to peace talks with Camelot’s new king, Arthur, after Uther’s death. After an attack by a magic user, you find your destiny on a dramatically different path.

A/N: I have been working on this FOREVER and it ended up stretching so long that I split it up into a few parts. Never fear! I’ll post them soon. A/N written in the year of our lord 2020: hey y’all! It’s been a WHILE. I was feeling a little nostalgic and logged back into tumblr for the first time in a Long time to find that this little blog is still around. Holy shit. There were 500 of you when I left and now there’s more than 1k? That blows my mind. Anyway, I found this in my drafts and I never posted it. I can’t say I write with too much frequency anymore, but you never know what’ll happen. Much love XO -B

The day the herald arrived with the news of King Uther’s death you could have sang for joy. Not that you actually did, of course, as that would have been highly insensitive and also improper. As the queen’s ward you were expected to behave with a certain decorum at all times. You weren’t quite at the status of a princess, so you weren’t immune to legal hazards by all means, but common folk wouldn’t dare to challenge your authority either way. Needless to say, you were still excited.

As soon as the herald had delivered his message, plans were drawn up for a grand caravan to Camelot in order to cement new peace treaties with the new king, son of the old. You’d heard wonderful things about the boy, but only hoped he wouldn’t share the same views has his father. Magic was tolerated in your aunt’s kingdom, which made the horrid stories you’d heard about Uther persecuting those with magic all the more awful.

You had expected to stay home and look after the affairs of the court while your aunt was away, being queen and doing important royal things. You had no true power, but Lysa trusted you to get things done all the same. When your aunt informed you to instruct the servants to pack a trunk of your clothes and belongings, you were rightfully confused.

“Aunt Lysa, I don’t understand. Why must I come too?” You asked her, holding the servants from leaving with a gentle gesture of your hand. Lysa sighed and smiled tiredly at you.

“One day you’ll take my place as queen, Y/N. I cannot bear children–frankly, I have no desire to–and you are the only one I could bear to give my kingdom to.”

“But isn’t your cousin supposed to be your heir? Not me, surely!”

“I won’t let my dear cousin Albert within a mile of this crown if I can help it. No, I have had you proclaimed as my heir since your mother passed. I simply never told you because I did not want that burden upon you. As my ward you would receive the same education and knowledge of running a kingdom, so why change your title?” Aunt Lysa’s crow’s feet crinkled as she smiled again.

Your heart nearly stopped. Sure, all your life you knew that you had to grow into your responsibility to lead your aunt’s kingdom, but you’d always assumed that your role would be more behind-the-scenes. You’d assumed you were to be an advisor, standing silently among the wings and disappearing into the background. You’d never imagined having to bear the weight of your Aunt’s crown.

“Me?” You sobbed. “But, auntie–”

“Hush,” she soothed, wrapping her arms around your shoulders in a warm hug, “as of yet I am still young enough. You won’t have to take my place for years to come.”

“For years and years.” You nodded firmly, resting your head on her shoulder.

“While we’re in Camelot, my love, you just remember one thing.” She warned as she stroked your hair.

“What’s that?” You asked.

“No magic.” She said seriously, her voice taking on a somber tone. You nodded sadly. Your education as the queen’s ward had covered everything from maths and sciences, to interrelationships between kingdoms, and, yes, magic too. You weren’t very good at it, but you often found it convenient to light candles with only a wave of your hand.

How stern could a king be to forbid such time-saving devices?

—

Aunt Lysa wasted no time in preparing travel plans for herself and you in order to reach Camelot as soon as possible. She’d assumed that many other kingdoms would be trying to do the same and renew their treaties as well, so the earlier the better. She sent the herald back on his way to make sure Camelot’s new King knew you were coming.

Your trunk had been packed and loaded onto the carriage and you and your aunt disembarked. It was a comfortable journey to Camelot; only a few days in the slow bumbling carriage. It was capable in a day or so on horseback. You soon grew accustomed to the lazy rocking and jostling of the carriage. You and your aunt spent most of the trip in silence; you figured that she had a lot on her mind and thought it best not to disturb her.

As soon as you arrived, you threw back the curtains to look out the window, admiring Camelot’s citadel and it’s tall spires caressing the clouds. Much of the court was outside to celebrate your arrival. You looked to your aunt and found that she was at ease, relaxed into her chair. Right before she was to step out of the carriage and greet the people, she pulled her crown out from her bag and placed it carefully atop her curls. You always marveled at how she was very nearly a completely different person with her crown on than without. You were able to watch the transformation right in front of your eyes.

She stepped out of the carriage and you heard a smattering of cheers, and perhaps a trumpet or two. You lingered in the carriage as you knew your job was not to be seen nor heard. Tugging lightly at a loose thread on the curtain, you watched out the window as Camelot’s king, a young fair-haired man you recalled being named Arthur, kissed her hand. He was very graceful and poised for one you knew was an adept warrior. You were just musing on how fighting was actually a very graceful skill when you heard your aunt’s voice floating over towards you.

“Let me introduce my ward and heir, Y/N…” she told the king, gesturing back towards the carriage. You jumped up, terribly surprised, treading momentarily on your gown and cursing under your breath.

“Hello.” You said breathlessly as your toes hit the ground. Aunt Lysa shot you a chastising look as you forgot your decorum. “Your highness.” You added hastily.

Arthur reached to kiss your hand as well and you blushed. How did your aunt do this? All of the propriety and rules made you want to rip your fancy dress off and waltz off onto the woods somewhere and become a hermit. You’d heard rather fond stories of one who lived completely isolated from all human contact.

That sounded divine.

You could feel the eyes of the court boring holes into you, and you kept your eyes demurely on the floor. Quick! Say something witty!

“Thank you for welcoming us to your lovely home–kingdom!” You sputtered, wincing as it came out. That was awkward. Arthur seemed to be watching you with a mixture of curiosity and pity. Your face flushed and you refocused your gaze onto the toes of your boots. They were slightly scuffed, as one might expect from actually walking and running in shoes, rather than sitting still all day like your aunt had hoped you would.

After more formal introductions and a whole lot of dignified compliments, a servant led you to your chambers. He said to merely notify the guard outside in the hall of you needed anything at all. You smiled and thanked him, turning on your heel to explore your rooms. They were very comfortably furnished and you were surprised to find that your belongings had already been brought up.

The elegantly plush four poster bed called to you. Oh, how you longed to dive into the soft blankets and pillows and ignore the world outside! You sat stiffly on the edge of the bed, running your hands over the soft comforter. Later. Yes, you would sleep later.

A knock on the door disturbed you from your thoughts. It was just a serving girl, who let herself in quietly. She was carrying an armful of goods, which she quickly deposited on the table.

“Good day, my lady.” She smiled politely. “The Queen Lysa has sent me to prepare you for the feast tonight.”

“Oh, I don’t think that will be necessary–”

“The queen has insisted.” She smiled apologetically, almost as if she knew you were going to say that. “Sit.” She commanded gently, and you moved to the chair that she’d set out.

The serving girl was certainly experienced in her ways. It didn’t take very long at all before you hair was tied back in an elegant and sweeping updo, your face was painted with all sorts of sweet-smelling cosmetics, and you were nearly ready to put on your gown.

The serving girl seemed to produce one out of thin air. You had never seen it before, but it was certainly gorgeous and fit you well. From what you could surmise, it seemed like it was a gift from King Arthur. How he’d known your measurements was beyond you. Once you were laced in and nearly couldn’t breath, you were dismissed to go and find your aunt.

You ran into her in the hallway. She was dressed very much the same as you, just in a different color. Without saying a word, she smiled and took your arm with an air of motherly comfort she always seemed to exude around you. Arm in arm, you entered the ballroom to waves of applause. Your breath was nearly ripped from your chest.

You’d never seen so much splendor and magnificence together in one room. Richly decorated tapestries draped the walls, shining tiles on the floors. The people, too, were spectacularly dressed, whirling around and preening like birds of paradise. The buzz of laughter and gossip filled the room like a haze on a humid summer afternoon, languid and sticky. Lysa’s fuss all made sense now. You fit right in among them with your jeweled hair and flowing gown.

When Arthur swept in to the hall, his red cape swinging mightily behind him, a silence dropped into every mouth. He smiled at your Aunt, once more welcoming her and thanking her for coming. Your eyes wandered around the room, your mind traveling with it.

Arthur continued speaking for what felt like eons, but not a single word registered in your mind. When the audience began applauding, you did too, mimicking their excitement. It was simply all too overwhelming. Lysa’s kingdom was a small one; you rarely found yourself surrounded by such a large and diverse group of people. It was all so interesting.

Lysa was seated at Arthur’s right hand. You, along with much of the rest of the upper court, took the table to the side where you could overlook both the royals there and the rest of the ballroom. Unfortunately, the gentleman next to you was far too chatty for your liking, talking your ear off and taking your hand in his when he mentioned his lack of wife. You politely excused yourself from the table, saying you needed some air.

That was definitely true.

Upon your return, you were relieved to see that said gentleman was entertaining some poor man on his other side with stories of what you could only guess to be battle glory. Based off of his portly figure and sunken-in features, they must have been ancient stories. You giggled a little to yourself and took your seat quickly to make sure not to disturb him from his story.

The night dragged on and you picked at the food on your plate. It was all delicious and expertly served, of course, but you simply had no desire to eat it. Being in a strange place so far from home made you uncomfortable, and your appetite was affected.

Taking your fork and nudging a piece of potato around your plate, allowing your mind to wander far and wide. You entertained yourself with thoughts of returning home. You pondered what you’d do first. Perhaps you’d head down to the stables and go riding into the meadows and thickets, with nothing but the breeze as your guide and fortune as your master. The thought of being in the warm open air rather than this drafty ballroom entranced you greatly. You could nearly feel the sun on your face and the winds whipping your hair around as a plaything.

Abrupt screaming broke you from your daydream. You looked up to see a hooded, shadowy figure scream something in a sharp, guttural tongue and gesture its hands towards your aunt. She recoiled as if struck by a sword. Her chair was flung backwards and she was thrown like a ragdoll across the ballroom. Your heart nearly stopped and you jumped to your feet, pushing a table out of the way to make it to her side.

“Aunt Lysa!” You screeched, trying to fling yourself forward to protect her, to save her, to cover her frail body with your own. Strong arms held you back, corded around your waist and entrapping your arms by your side. You thrashed against them; Aunt Lysa needed you! Your eyes blurred with tears and your throat burned from the ragged sobs that escaped your lips.

The same arms that held you back slowly drew you backwards. You turned to see a black haired servant pulling you away from the fray without taking his eyes off of your aunt. His eyes glinted golden in the firelight. Armored guards surrounded your aunt and hurried her away. You screamed after them. Lysa shouldn’t be taken anywhere without you! You needed her! How were you supposed to do anything without her there? The once peaceful banquet hall had turned into a madhouse. Servants and guests alike raced about, seemingly searching for safety and comfort.

In the chaos, you trod again on the hem of your gown and tripped, legs becoming tangled in the layers of fabric. Your head cracked sharply along a table and the world faded out, pain blossoming until it had taken over and become everything. Physical pain, yes, but also emotional pain. Aunt Lysa was… Was…

Find Part Two here!

[clxnia]

Big post! Update to my activity and my feelings towards this website below the cut.

So, as some of you may have noticed, my activity has been down significantly. I know some of you may think this is about me redesigning my blog but, honestly, I did that because I was hoping to get my heart back into Tumblr. Unfortunately, it didn’t work.

I do believe it is time for me to take a bit of a break again. Most (like 99%) of my replies will now be queued and spaced out with many musings posts. I reserve the right to reply to whom I chose without the queue. Please no one take offense to this, it’s just the posts I have the most muse for as my muse is hard to come by when I log into Tumblr now.

Yes, my muse has been down by a lot. This website has taken a lot out of me. This goes to no one in particular but a lot of my long threads have been completely exhausting for me to write just because I simply don’t have the muse for it. My muse lies with other things, my professional work and the people I have been around for years now. Please don’t take any offense to that but I am a person of comfort. When I know a person for a while I am comfortable in writing. I don’t put so much pressure on myself and it’s easier to go along with them simply because we’ve spent so much time together.

I will try and keep one post with everyone running but I reserve the right to put it in the queue as well.

I just feel as if the pressure has built up and when I post the ones I find fun for me, I usually have other people jumping into my messages to ask me where their thread is. It’s been very frustrating when I just don’t have the muse. I have been staring at my drafts, doing my best, but I think it’s time to step away for a while. When I post things to get my muse back and receive these messages it puts me into a huge funk that demolishes any chance I had at doing my other drafts. This community has been exhausting recently and has made my mind want to work on other things that don’t include this site. I have far more respect for myself to let one website derail my happiness.

I will be marking my blog as Semi-Hiatus until I see fit to come on back.

This isn’t goodbye, no, I have been on Tumblr for 6+ years and I don’t plan on just dropping it. I’m sure my desire will return to me but, for now, I’m just going to sit back and do what makes me happy. Tumblr isn’t a job, though I don’t think some people in this community understand that. I’m not required to do anything or please anyone. I hope you will all understand my decision.

Again, this is target at no specific person. I would never give one person that much power to control my decisions, that would be ridiculous. Please do not message me asking about if this is about you or not, I will not answer it.

I will not be opening myself to new people but you are welcome to HMU when I come back!

That, or I am taking a select amount of threads onto discord. Please just message me if you would like to add me on discord but I cannot promise that I will have the muse for our threads. My brain is very picky right now and I’m going to let it do it’s thing. It’s like that for a reason.

Thank you for reading, if you did.

[thelifetimechannel]

@privatemumbles:

There's been a glitch lately regarding asks, deleteing the text in them when asnwered no matter how many time syou try to save it

Sigh. I noticed! So, in the words of my favorite Spider-Man movie, let’s start at the beginning, one last time. 

@anniebunbun​ asked:

I only just found this a couple of days ago and... Dirk's eyes when he smashes his shades on Prospit. The anime is killing me. He looks like someone stuck some extra-large googly eyes onto a human face. It's amazing and I love them.

Hi! Gill here, this ask has good timing. I saw it before Kat signed on for the evening, and this is now my THIRD TIME typing this reply (and SECOND TIME TRYING TO POST IT) as Tumblr keeps eating the draft instead of saving it because it is a Very. Functional. Website. 

But anyway yes, I've been wandering in and out of the Emotional About Dirk Strider Zone for about two months now, take a guess why, and was actually just contemplating starting a reread of DDOTA the same way I started writing my logs for it: Alpha Bitchfest-first.

The eyes are, in hindsight, a bit goofy, but I wouldn't have 'em any other way. I'd always intended for them to stand out, even be a bit off-putting with how in-your-face they are. I saw it as an opportunity to smash one of Homestuck's enshrined Stylistic Laws to tiny bits and saying I pounced on it with glee is an understatement. To say nothing of what the moment represents, with Dirk violently ripping off the symbol of his outer facade and smashing it to bits as he finally lets the emotional dam break. There's only so much you can expect a lonely 16-year-old-kid to deal with, after all.

I keep this picture in my phone library the same way one would a treasured photo of a beloved pet or child.

So yeah, there was no way I was passing up that visual, and if it hadn't been anime eyes, it would've looked something like this:

[writemywaytoyourheart]

........

Someone please just hold me and let me cry my eyes out. You won't believe me.

So I decided I don't trust Tumblr anymore, right? The b*tch keeps deleting my stuff, right? So I found a notes app thingy on my phone and do my writings there, and copy and past onto Tumblr now.....Right?

Right.

Well, I've been writing all day, and decided, aight, I'm gonna make a draft and get it all ready to paste stuff for when I'm done. So I did that, it didn't save. I did it again. It didn't save. I did it again, and lo and behold it saved. So then I copy and paste the members that I've done (as a whole, so when I paste, every member's will paste, a big long thing) just to get it all ready, pick all the gifs and whatnot.

It doesn't save.

But I shan't lose hope yet. At least I still have all the writings on my notes, haHA Tumblr, f*ck you. So then I found better gifs and did the whole process again. It didn't save. So then I tried again and the words were all in bold for some reason so I went through all of them and changed them to normal font, and finally I can move on. Then Yoongi's part suddenly decided to f*ck up and start deleting random words and put my cursor where I wasn't trying to type so I'd type random words in a random sentence in the middle of a random paragraph, it's hard to explain but my phone is possessed. I finally fixed it all. It didn't save.

So I said, 'f*ck it, I'll do it later when I finish the writings' I logged out and hoped that maybe just maybe if Tumblr straightened itself out it would save while I was gone.

I finished another member. One member left. I also went and fixed up things in the other members' parts and thought, maybe it's better it didn't save since I like these choices of words better, haha, this might be just fine.

So I'm 'bout to do Jungkook's right? Ok. Then I go, hmmm, let's copy this all again (the new and perfected ones) and see if we can save it to Tumblr, shall we?

I went and clicked on Jin's to copy everything. Didn't highlight it all yet, no. Just clicked on the beginning words.

AND MY PHONE SUDDENLY OUT OF NOWHERE. I DIDN'T EVEN HIGHLIGHT JIN'S PART YET, NO I DIDN'T, BUT IT DELETES JIN'S ENTIRE PART. HIS ENTIRE PART. GONE. POOF. NOWHERE TO BE FOUND. WHY.

So naturally I panicked. Then thought, ohhhh thank you Lord, I already have it copied as my last copied thing it just wasn't perfected, it's all okay!! EVERYTHING IS FINE.

So I just go and click paste, it should paste all the members' things I copied, right?....but no.....what does it paste you might ask?

A RANDOM A$$ PARAGRAPH FROM YOONGI'S THAT I NEVER COPIED ON IT'S OWN. NO JIN STUFF, NOOOOO. JUST A RANDOM THING I DIDN'T COPY AND DON'T WANT. WHY TF.

BUT HOPE MUSTN'T BE LOST YET MY FRIEND, PERHAPS TUMBLR STRAIGHTENED OUT WHILE I WAS AWAY. AND I WOULD FIND JIN'S PART THERE, YEEES?

NO B*TCH. FALSE. TUMBLR DIDN'T SAVE IT, OBVIOUSLY.

So now, I must try to remember and rewrite my beloved Seokjin's entire part, which was one of my favorites btw.

I don't understand why I'm so unlucky. This sums up my life, literally.

If you've read this far...You nice, keep going..

I had to get that off my chest, sorry, but a new reaction will be out before I go to sleep. Pray for me please.

Here, take a BTS Masterlist

[littlemissnellie]

so here’s my right finger to how girls should behave,

‘cause sometimes what’s meant to break you makes you brave.

so...long time no see, I guess. well, it’s been like a month so kind of long time. but that’s not the point. I sat this post in my drafts for like a week and could never find the right way to start it, but to be honest, at this point I don’t think that there is a right way to start it, nor do I think that there is a right way to tackle this, or anything for that matter. sometimes you just have to jump straight in. yes, it might be scary, but you never get anywhere if you don’t try. I’ve never been the kind of person to try before; I was always too scared. 

that’s changed.

warning: do not read any more if you don’t care about personal shit or my stupidly long rants...

if you’re still here, thank you, first of all, but if we’re going to get anywhere, I’m going to have to take you back a bit...

the first half of this year was hard, I can’t put it any other way. I struggled getting from day to day, I felt miserable and I didn’t know what to do; I’d never been put in a situation like that before and as silly as it may seem, the whole prospect of being perpetually sad was pretty scary. I felt trapped; I couldn’t see things getting better, I could only see them getting worse. I spiralled and spiralled, grabbing desperately at the few hands that were kind enough to stretch out to me. I don’t know what it is about being sad, but when you’re in such a negative headspace your brain stops functioning rationally, at least it did for me, and every time these hands reached out to help me I couldn’t seem to fathom out how to grab on, and so I found myself slipping further and further until the hands disappeared and I landed on my backside with an almighty crack and a flood of tears.

I didn’t know what to do. I was led on to believe that what I was doing was okay for so long it became hard to think otherwise until I didn’t have an option not to and I was completely cut off. I couldn’t bring myself to open the tumblr app, I couldn’t even think about opening up my game and I couldn’t talk to anyone about it. I felt really alone and I know it sounds stupid, but it felt like I was sat at the bottom of a hole and the lights had been turned off; I had no idea where to go from there or how to get past this.

I’ve always really valued my friends but recently it has become clearer and clearer to me that I don’t seem to be a very good one myself; I’ve always believed that in times of adversity those who truly care make themselves known. I didn’t have that experience. I felt more alone than ever, but instead of letting myself crumble into the pile of dirt I felt like and sit at the bottom of that pit of despair until I adjusted to it, I mustered up what strength I had left in me, collected myself, brushed myself down and started to climb back up. if no one was there to help, I was going to do it on my own. 

now, I don’t know if you listened to the song I linked above or not, tbh I wouldn’t judge you if you didn’t, but I found that song right around the time I basically hit rock bottom and I’ve listened to it every day since. again, I know this probably sounds stupid but hearing that song changed something in me. I knew I had to change my mental state, I just couldn’t bring myself to think of where to start, but something about this song sparked something in me, a sort of courage and fight I didn’t know I still had: a fight for me and my own happiness. 

i’m a very strong believer in fate and that everything happens for a reason, so as hurt as I was, without going through it all I now know I wouldn’t have been able to come out the other side feeling stronger and better about myself than ever before. as soon as I took that first step everything started falling into place, more and more advice and motivation seemed to work its way into my life and soon those shaky, first few steps turned into eager leaps and bounds. I walked with my head held high and the confidence that had slipped from my grasp returned; I feel like I’ve climbed back out of that pit and have just kept on going, higher and higher; I’ve got a determination I’ve never had before: a determination to prove that I’m more than I ever let myself believe and I feel like I’ve finally got there. I just wish that I didn’t have to do so much damage to get here.

i logged off tumblr and avoided discord because I thought that was what was best; I felt like it was what everyone else wanted because I didn’t belong here and I thought that shutting myself away was the only thing left I could do. but the more time I spent away from my blog the more I missed it and the more I missed the community I’d tried to break into. yes, i’d probably been as successful at it as trying to pop a balloon with a spoon, but my new fighting spirit told me that I’d just been a coward and that quitting something I enjoyed because I was too worried about what others thought was ridiculous. why would I just let them win like that? 

so, for the first time I’m going to try putting myself and my own happiness first. I’m turning onto a new road and I’m keeping my eyes fixed firmly ahead; looking away will only end in a crash and oh how I crashed. but, I’m not going to let that scare me away forever; I’m getting back behind the wheel and trying again. I’m not going to compare myself to others and I’m not going to let me own negativity get me down anymore, that’s a promise; I deserve better than that, everyone does.

I determined my own self-worth on the opinions of others and it left me feeling like a piece of shit. and as the queen barrett wilbert weed herself says in the song: ‘i don’t need their good opinions, I have plenty of opinions, everybody has opinions but it doesn’t make them true, what’s true is being me.’ long-ass quote, I know, but at the end of the day, I am my own biggest priority and if I can’t even be good to myself how can I expect to be a good person for others? 

so today, at 12am on the 7th of June, marks a change. I turn 17 today and this is the year that I put myself first and unapologetically show who I am. I love sharing things on my blog and being a part of the sims community and I don’t want to let my insecurities get in the way of that anymore. 

I know I messed up the first time, but if you guys would be willing, I want to give this whole simblr thing another go, so that I can prove I’m not as shitty as I’ve no doubt made myself seem and to prove to myself that I can actually put myself out there and be a part of something where I feel like I belong. but if not, if I can’t be forgiven and this is goodbye, at least I know I can go with my head held high; I just didn’t want to leave feeling like a broken girl, not when I loved my time on here so much. I had to at least try. 

so, could this newly 17 year old, newly confident, newly happy, but same old awkward dork of a british girl possibly come back and give this another whirl?

- littlemissnellie