#and look until i publish a book i consider myself a reader first a writer second

[mermaidsirennikita]

People are ridiculously entitled and it’s genuinely so disheartening. Books are someone’s ART. You don’t just get to alter a name in someone else’s creative work. (I’m appalled people out there think this is remotely acceptable - writers are not court jesters nor do they exist to please everyone - no human being nor their creative work does, in fact!) Thanks for putting your various responses out there! Here’s hoping people learn to respect and appreciate artists and creators once again

Quoth Nora Roberts:

I am not here to be a slave to certain reader’s wants, needs, whims. Again, I write what I write, and these are MY characters, in my books. Not yours. They are yours to enjoy or not, but they belong to me, they come from me...

You don’t have to agree, but I’m not writing for your particular point of view. Again, I’ve explained my reasons for this. I won’t do so again. My characters, my books, my decision. If you want something else, read something else.

And yes, I said that, too. Blast away, it changes nothing. I am not obliged to meet an individual’s demands.

So.

First off:

If you're really super chill about the idea of being able to change what writers write just because you didn't like a detail you think is small and irrelevant, I would sincerely encourage you to read La Nora's full thoughts on similar issues... and yeah, I'm gonna equate something as "small" as a name with what Nora's talking about here. Because it is ALL the author's domain. I've never personally subscribed to the idea that a work "isn't yours anymore" once it's out in the world. The way people interpret and interact with it isn't yours, sure. But it's still your creation, and you should be the only person with control over the content.

... and sometimes, I, as a reader, don't like what authors do with their content. I get it. I don't like that Lisa Kleypas edited her work years after publishing it, because I'm big on the "own what you wrote originally even if it's uncomfy" train... (for the most part--editing the fetishization of Cam and Kev would've made sense to me). And I don't think there's anything wrong with readers pointing out problematic shit in a writer's work, offering critique in an open forum, as Smart Bitches, Trashy books did when reading Hello, Stranger, which I speculate may have prompted some of Lisa's edits.

But! I can't say that it would ever be my right as a reader to, say, use future technology to tell my reading device "edit out the times Cam says shit that reads super fetishized". It's just kind of repellent to me to imagine rewriting someone's work in any way without their permission. Fuck, I don't even like the idea of estates releasing sequels or revised versions of books unless the author indicated that such was in their wishes in their will. (See: the TWO official Gone with the Wind sequels/prequels/whatever authorized by Margaret Mitchell's estate.)

We, as readers, have our lanes. The writers have theirs. And sometimes, as writers, they do tiny things or BIG things in their lanes that we dislike. (I love Tiffany Reisz's Original Sinners series, for the most part. I really, REALLY hate the most recent book in the series. HATE. IT. But the only thing I can do about that shit is just pretend that book never happened, which I actually can fairly efficiently because I do in fact control what my brain does. Or, seek out books that give me what that series didn't with that most recent book. Sierra Simone's do a bangin' job.) But you know... Not only do I not think it is safe for me to merge into their lane... I don't want writers to feel like they have to submit to demand and give away pieces of their work in order to keep selling.

(And honestly? For the vast majority, I don't think it would make enough of a difference anyway--writers are often sold bills of goods with new strategies or tech. "This will change the way you sell books". Most writers won't ever be able to write full time anyway, and I find the way that this fantasy that you'll be able to do otherwise with THIS TECH optimizing your writing time, or THIS SUBSCRIPTION increasing the eyeballs that will see your book... Scammy. Not all of it's bad! But the selling strategy that you'll make more money... If you're selling on KU, if five extra people buy your book you're still making pennies, so it's gotta be more than one thing that converges to create the sale, and a lot of that, I gotta say, is word of mouth and people just LIKING YOUR SHIT. And I'd argue that they're more likely to like your shit if you're invested as a writer.)

Second:

No need to thank me! I honestly think that the majority of readers do appreciate what writers do (or don't feel either way about it and just read like people have always read lol) but I don't know. I can't really tell what it is--the sort of "fandom" that's been created around books (and like, author fan clubs and such have always existed, but obviously the accessibility is so different), new tech developing very rapidly when for centuries books were relatively stagnant technologically speaking, the fanficification of EVERY type of media it feels like... But the sense of entitlement that certain readers feel does seem to have grown. Or maybe it's simply become more visible. I mean, Nora Roberts has from the dawn of her writing career taken off had fans that can communicate with her, and I'm sure many have written letters like "Go give these characters a baby :(".

My biggest thing is always going to be this: some books ain't gonna be for you. There are books that sound so Caroline. I read them, and for whatever reason--writing style, one character choice, something ephemeral I can't name--they aren't. Everyone else loves these books. I'd love to love these books. I'd love to discuss these books. I'm not in the party. And that's FINE. Not every party is going to be a party I'm down for! One of my best friends loooooves Tessa Bailey and Tessa-like contemporaries. Tessa, by and large, doesn't work for me. So my friend and I can't discuss a lot of books in depth. Do I wish historicals worked for her so that I could nerd out with her? Sure! But I can't make something that doesn't work for her work for her, and I can't make Tessa's books work for me.

And I know that people will be like "it's just a name bitch", but... it's a slippery slope to me, just like ALL of AI and AI-related tech has been a slippery slope. Like, y'all said AI wasn't gonna be a big deal and would just make things easier, and people are now selling AI-written books under their names. Everyone said that authors would have control over how AI interacted with their books, and books are being scraped for AI on the daily.

I do not want anyone to have final control over what is and isn't in a book but the person who wrote the book. I do not want writers to feel like they need to cede any amount of control over the copy in that book over to readers in order to succeed.

And I honestly think it would be a lot healthier for everyone involved if we as readers (viewers, general audiences) just accepted that we don't get everything we want, and creatives are not here to dance to our tune. They are people, and they want to tell the stories they want to tell. Your power? Is in your dollar. If you don't like that shit, don't buy it. If you don't want to support it... don't! Fuck, if you want to talk shit on the internet about how the most recent book in the series was absolutely not for you, that's your right, too.

I don't want you fucking with a single word on the page, though. Feel free to go write your own shit--prosper! But that part of what Nora said that rings true to me most is "they come from me". These books come from writers. You have them because of those writers. So, I don't know, dude. Just take what's there, and if you dislike it, spit it out and move on to the thing you will like. Authors aren't churn factories to produce what you want, and ROMANCE as a genre, however commercial it is and however much it does have that One Rule that defines it as a genre... Is still something that writers should be allowed to experiment with. That's the work writers put in. The work readers put in? Finding shit that works for us. And I'm telling you... With a little practice, it ain't hard. How do y'all think I have all these books to recommend? Lmao

[pjstafford]

The X-Files: Perihelion (A Book Review)

The X-Files: Perihelion is a book scheduled for release in July 2024. It is written by Claudia Gray with Chris Carter's approval. It is published by Hyperion Avenue. I want to thank the author and publisher for an advanced digital copy of the book for review.

In writing this review, my assumption is that the readers will be fans of the X-Files who have watched through season 11. The book picks up fairly shortly after season 11 ends. THERE ARE SPOILERS IN THIS REVIEW! I usually try to write spoiler-free reviews but felt that, in this case, I could not review the book fully without some spoilers. I think it is important to note upfront that the book does set itself up for future books - as a new series of books.

Will fans like this book? It depends on what the potential readers' engagement and perspective is on the series. In that case, it makes sense for me to disclose that information about myself. I engage with some X-Files content daily. I am a fan of the revival seasons. I hated the cliffhanger in season 10 but loved the majority of season 11 including the ending (although I understand why some fans did not).

The book opens with Scully pregnant, Skinner in a coma, and Mulder and Scully suspended from the FBI pending an investigation. The two agents are living together to co-parent, but their relationship status is undefined and there is some new distance emotionally due to the trauma they suffered at the end of season 11. Scully has returned to medicine and Mulder is considering his next career move. What I enjoyed about this feature of the book is that the closing of the X-Files did not seem to be a disaster for either agent. What I would change about the finale of season 11 is that too much time was spent with Kersch on shutting down the X-Files. To both agents' surprise, they are called back to duty on a temporary "let's see how it goes" basis to work on one case.

The case is that pregnant women are being murdered. The unexplained paranormal aspect is that strange electrical surges are happening at the scene of each murder. This was an excellent way to get the agents reinvested in The X-Files. It hits them in their feels and the reader is drawn in as well. This case is actually wrapped up long before the book's end. In the meantime, the agents have been assigned a second case and the first case is really a clue to the second case. I won't give away too many spoilers here except to say that the second case sets up future books. It takes existing mythology and twists it with a new substitute syndicate and new characters helping the agents. I found this portion of the book to be mostly very well written. I enjoyed it up until the point where I realized it was setting up for an ongoing series. This is the area where I think readers will have to decide where they are with their engagement with The X-Files. If you are a fan who really just wants the agents to continue to solve cases and protect the world from ongoing global conspiracies and you love the thought of seeing them solve cases together, you will enjoy the book and likely the series immensely. I was there at one point. In fact, at the end of season 10, I wrote my own longer fan fic which was based on what I envisioned a new series could look like. I simply am not there any longer. I would like to see this amazing story of these agents have the outstanding ending (whether happy or not) that they deserve as iconic characters. I would like to see an ending comparable to their journey instead of beginning another journey with a whole new mythology arc. This is not to criticize the writer or fans who want more stories, but, in the end, I was disappointed by this approach.

As to the answers to the burning questions left from season 11. What I really enjoyed is that Scully and Mulder find themselves coming together while processing their grief for William/ Jackson who they both believe is dead and was never Mulder's son. They did this very much in character. Scully is also looking for answers as to why she is pregnant at an advanced age and to the health of the child still in her womb. However, there are still no answers. Scully gets a hint William is alive. Mulder gets a possible scenario of how he could still be the father, but in the end, the fact of biological or not matters less than the parental love of a child which gives them the right to grief. There is no hint the current baby is anything but healthy and yet there is a plotline related to Scully's alien DNA that doesn't rule out the child might have powers. Yet the hope that the two agents could raise a child together, which is what I liked about the season 11 ending, continues. The timespan covered in the book is not long so Scully is still pregnant at the end of the book.

There are two additional minor criticisms I have about the book which I am including here at the end for feedback on future books in the series.

I liked the way the book ended. It is the way I think most fans would want it to end. However, it was only at the end, with so many of the plot mysteries left unresolved, that I realized the book was intended to be a fuller series. It felt sudden and abrupt. What I think was needed is more of a summary of what was resolved and more of a "launch" into the next book.

Because so much of the mythology of The X-Files revival was about a virus and the new mythology includes an alien DNA mythology, I was initially concerned because no mention of the COVID virus and lockdown was discussed. Then, of course, I realized that Scully was pregnant in 2018. However, there are pop culture references to more modern times. Of course, Mulder would be a fan of Strange New Worlds - which came out in 2022. If that seems a little picky on my part, it is just that the COVID lockdown was a pretty big deal and the plotline of the novel is about a global virus. I encourage the author to clearly set the year in which the novels take place going forward and, if the series will extend past 2020, then some careful thought will have to go into how to handle this. The X-Files has always been set in the real world. It will be a challenge for the author to think about how to address the lockdown from a non-alien virus while writing books about the global contagion of an alien virus.

Thank you again for the opportunity to review.

[baladric]

What first got you into writing? How did you develop your style? And have you got any tips for other budding writers out there? Also who are your favourite authors and poets?

this got LONG but i'm going to tell myself you were ASKING FOR THAT and take a breath a;ldfkjwo;dfjsf

i can't remember if my inuyasha self-insert fic days predated my gaiaonline roleplaying days, but it was one of the two! definitely entirely a form of escape from a very painful and lonely life, but i think it was actually several years after i started definitionally Writing™ before i got into it, you know? i don't remember what kickstarted it, but somewhere along the way, i realized that i could really do whatever i wanted to, and i discovered figurative language and non-linear storytelling really went hogwild on some super niche death note fics ;alkfjwd and from there i started writing prose-poetry and really just. splashing around in there. i've been a musician my whole life, and it was like i'd realized that i could put music into the written word, like i wrote entirely for the way things tripped off my internal ear—like this one line from a poem i wrote when i was 14 still sticks with me, Leaves stain, leaves stains (rough obviously, but it was my first foray into writing about visual imagery that stuck in my sad little head)

my style started as its own nascent messy little thing, and like. man, people on here don't talk about Lolita because. you know. it's literally the apotheosis of the stuff that gets people wound-up in fandom spaces? literally a novel about SA and pedophilia and grooming—but the thing is, there's a reason it's considered a central part of the western literary canon, and that book revolutionized me as a writer. nabokov's entire thing really is just. ear-worms as text, like i cannot even express how often i still think "I am just winking happy thoughts into a little tiddle cup", or how many times i'll echolalia my way through this one line from the intro bit of the book: "Lo-Le-Ta: The tip of the tongue taking a trip of three steps down the palate to tap, at three, on the teeth." take or leave the content of the book, nabokov does it like none other—or he did until ocean vuong published On Earth We're Briefly Gorgeous, which is just. idk if you haven't read it, please please please, do yourself a favor and make space for it. it's the most effecting book i've ever read, as well as the most gorgeous and the most lovingly, grievingly composed.

You once told me that the human eye is god's loneliest creation. How so much of the world passes through the pupil and still it holds nothing. The eye, alone in its socket, doesn't even know there's another one, just like it, an inch away, just as hugry, as empty. Opening the front door to the first snowfall of my life, you whispered, "Look."

if i can ever write a single sentence that pins the wide universe and the complex sorrow and joy of the human experience in place the way ocean vuong does, i will die happy. honestly.

favorite authors/poets is in vein with that last bit, but the short list anyway:

ocean vuong, esp On Earth We're Briefly Gorgeous (novel) and Time is a Mother (poetry)

maggie stiefvater, specifically The Raven Cycle—i could (and have) gone on for hours about the way she puts her readers into a tactile, vivid world, and her singular skill for spinning characters so contradictory and multifaceted that, to my mind, they're whole entire people, instead of the archetypes or loving stereotypes of most other fiction

richard siken, for Crush, which. i mean, i'm a gay man obsessed with words, this one really goes without saying lmao, if you read nothing else from it, read Snow and Dirty Rain. it is my gospel and my lifeblood, i have it memorized and still i reread it every week.

katherine addison taught me so much about storytelling, unreliable narrators, and the complexities of healing/trauma recovery while contending with rigid society (tragically pertinent to our present lives)—her Chronicles of Osreth (comprised of The Goblin Emperor, Witness for the Dead and The Grief of Stones)

maggie nelson, both for Bluets and The Argonauts

becky chambers—Psalm for the Wild-Built altered me as a person, it is gorgeous and soaring and humble and such a necessary book

donna tartt, obviously

anne carson, also obviously

freya marske—will read anything she ever writes, her language is lush, her worldbuilding is unique and spectacular, and her smut is HOT

alexandra rowland, for the same reasons as freya marske, but also their characters are so stunningly sympathetic, as well as really loving examples of neurodivergence in fiction (evemer hoşkadem, my deeply autistic beloved)

robin hobb really writes a toxic, complicated relationship saga like none other, i am stunningly enraged by Realm of the Edlerlings and also am physically incapable of not thinking about it constantly

and then there's the authors who taught me about magic: Garth Nix (The Old Kingdom Series), Holly Black (Modern Faerie Tales), Tamora Pierce (Protector of the Small), and Francesca Lia Block (Weetzie Bat)

writer tips!!!!!! this is hokey, but honestly my main advice is READ and also HAVE FUN. storytelling is the oldest human act, and language is the show where everything's made-up and the points don't matter. language is a sandbox, and it's there for you to literally just fuck around in. it can be whatever you want—it can be your raison d'être as a writer, but also it can be incidental. it can be a means to an end, economical, and some of the best stories are taken with that approach. but also you can paint with language, if you want to. you can compose music with it. you can do whatever suits your fancy.

my second tip is WORD COUNT DOESN'T MATTER. stop counting. stop stop stop holding yourself to the weird, quantity-obsessed writer culture. 2,000 words a day? nobody has time for that except full-time writers or those really rare writers who blink and 5k words fall onto the page. personally, if i'm sitting down to write and i'm really determined to actually get something onto the page, whether or not it's necessarily good, i'll force out 200 words. 200! i can't remember where i got this tip, but the point of that number is that 200 words is attainable even on the most blocked day, and by the time you hit your 200th word, you're gonna be in the middle of a sentence or a thought that you'll have to finish, and you end up with 300. or you hit 200 and you've broken through the fog and warmed up to it, and you leave with 700 or 1,500 (or a couple wild times for me, 5k).

my third tip: if you're a writer, EVERYTHING IS WRITING. this goes for art, music, literally any creative pursuit. walking out your door in the morning is writing, because you're learning things about the world, you're processing stimuli, your wheels are never not spinning. every video game you play, every show you watch, every fic you read is inherently a generative act, because that story is entering your store of knowledge to be processed and synthesized and lend you inspiration for the kinds of stories you want to tell, or the characters you want to make, or even the kinds of things you want to avoid as a creator. i can't tell you how much i've learned from games (Outer Wilds, i'm lookin at you!!) or tv (Station Eleven....) or music (Joanna Newsom really should be on my list of authors) or fanfiction (if you're a goblin emperor beastie and you haven't read celebros's Blackbird series, RUN, don't walk. i learned literally everything about creating character conflict within a framework of love that really motivates characters to work at it and not just get angry and walk away, and i remain uhhHHH fuckin Gobsmacked and reeling that she wants to write with ME a;lkdjfalw;dfs also literally one of my most formative collaborative and creative experiences came from reading kingdom hearts fanfiction in 2010, so) so!!!! just live your life!!! think about what makes you tick, what makes stories tick, think about the stars or birds or the history of glassblowing, whatever lights you up, and that energy will find its way into the things you make.

oh and also NEVER FEEL BAD FOR TAKING BREAKS. and i don't mean a 5-minute break, or a few days. i mean weeks. i mean months or years or what-have-you. sometimes it's just not there, and that's not a failing. your creations aren't content, they're little critters you make with love, and you can't love a thing you're banging your head against day and night. take breaks. allow yourself ebbs and flows in your creativity. everything hibernates, and i promise it'll wake up again and it'll be better than you left it.

end point: i Love You, and if you're writing or hoping to write or planning to write, i love your writing, too, nascent or tangible.

[fictionfromafar]

Someone Is Coming

By T.A. Morton

Monsoon Books

I found there was a really interesting premise to this story so despite not knowing anything about the author nor her previous work, I found myself very intrigued to read it. With the story examining recollections of an earlier era in Singapore, I was drawn to something that appeared quite out of the ordinary. And so, it turned out to be. The story focuses on a ninety-three-year-old man called Phillip Goundry who is living in an old persons home in an unnamed town in England.

Goundry is a widower, very much aware of his own mortality and is suffering from physical ailments due to his age. However, he is sound of mind, content in his location and with a peaceful acceptance of the life he has lived. An approach to his home sees him agree to meet a researcher Dr Linn from Singapore. The purpose of the exercise for the researcher to know more about Goundry’s formative years living in Malaya where he lived on a rubber plantation in Kedah until the age of 14.

It is a tiring process for Goundry to recall the early years of his life but his recollections to Dr Linn are fairly positive as he reflects on his upbringing, home schooling and the ways his mother and father raised him and his brother Jimmy. The interviews are staged over spaced-out intervals for Phillip Goundry and while the story tells of his interactions with Linn, told in the first-person narrative it also looks at the affect the questioning is having upon Goundry. Through interactions with his nursing home carers Michelle and Tom, it becomes evident that our narrator becomes initially more thoughtful and increasingly emotional when he considers fond pleasant memories and gradually begins to ponder those that he has suppressed. Some are childhood memories such as encountering a tiger, hearing ghost stories and some relate more to the people that his family interacted with.

It gradually becomes clear to the reader that there are segments of memory that Goundry does not wish to reveal as we can distinguish between those memories that are spoken and those self-contained. It becomes evident that one particular memory brings shame or embarrassment to him, yet it is not clear if the recollections would reveal anything sinister. Yet what does become apparent is that the role of the interviewer is evolving. What appeared to be initially a data gathering exercise becomes more specific as Dr Linn directs the question towards particular individuals and occurrences. The prompting of the interviewer is painful and taxing but gradually the revelations start to confirm his previously held suspicions.

I feel T.A. Morton has taken a very powerful and very unusual method to reveal a sequence of historical crimes in a time and location remote from those the book will be read by. At around 170 pages it is a fairly fast read, but one that the reader will enjoy reading the poignancy of its words as well as the deeper significance of the characters’ actions and body language. Human nature can cause us to repress bad memories or fail to question the explanations we are told, particularly at a young age and I felt the novel handles these elements particularly well. It is a highly impressive story and I look forward to reading more from Morton, an Irish-Australian author, in the future.

About The Author

T.A. Morton is a Singapore based Irish/Australian writer. Previously she has worked as a journalist and Editor for Longman Pearson in Hong Kong. Her short stories have been published in the Lakeview International Journal of Arts and Literature and The Best Asian Short Stories. Currently, she is studying towards her Masters in Crime and Thriller writing at the University of Cambridge.

In February 2020 her novel The Queen, The Soldier and The Girl was shortlisted for the Virginia Prize for fiction. In October 2020 she was shortlisted for the Strand International Flash fiction prize and the Bridport prize. In Autumn 2022 Monsoon Books will publish her novella, Someone is Coming.

She is currently completing a new crime thriller novel.

The blurb

Memories come thick and heavy like the rains that fall in the jungle. Dense droplets wash the leaves and soak into the ground, cleansing the acrid smell of rubber, cleansing the jungle of its sins. I hear my mother’s voice. No more secrets, Philip, I promise. Someone is coming, get ready.

Philip Goundry is 93 and living out his days quietly in a care home in England when a young researcher from Singapore arrives, wanting to learn more about his former life in Malaya for the Singapore archives.

His memory growing fitful, Philip is torn between wanting to unburden himself and staying silent, as he has done all these years, about the sinister and shocking events of his childhood on a Malayan rubber plantation. The truth, however, has a habit of winning.

Many thanks to Monsoon b

Books for the proof and Anne Cater for inclusion on the blog tour. Look out for the other reviews of this book as shown below:

[sassypotatoe1]

So today I got a verbal warning because of how I've been messing up a lot lately, and because I'm like capital s Struggling™ and don't know how the next few months will go after I get my meds adjusted tomorrow, I've been fantasizing of different career paths that isn't journalism because how things are looking now, I might not have a space in this industry for very long because of my health and disability status, and not in a discriminatory way either like just genuinely I can't maintain this job long term based on trends over the last two years, even when I'm managing my health perfectly.

I'm not going to be stupid and just quit and give up, it was a verbal warning and my boss and her boss are incredibly understanding and supportive people, but I no longer see a future for myself in this industry because of the way that it is structured, and I don't have the energy or ability to enact reform on a large scale.

So I will continue to work for this job until I physically can't anymore, or get fired because I messed up too many times, and in the meantime I'll explore other options. As side jobs I can bake, which means I can sell to home industry stores and make some money. I can garden if I have the time, so I can sell excess vegetables and propogate house plants and sell them to the local grocery store. I can make clothes, so I can tailor and mend. I can both make art and teach it, so I can do art classes and commissions. I am still a writer, so I can pursue a career as a fiction author, and maybe even as a non-fiction author if the inspiration strikes.

If I'm doing really bad and get fired and the side jobs don't work out, I can work as a waitress or secretary while I work on my books and art, and I can keep working while they are reviewed by publishers until they are approved for publishing and I start making a large enough income off sales.

I have options, and it's incredibly sad that I might have to leave journalism behind, but I have to consider the sustainability of a career in journalism, and based on the last few months it's really low. I love the job for the most part. I have a unique opportunity to support and uplift my community through my journalism, and I get to meet and know so many interesting people, but if it's going to come at the cost of my health and with the constant panic and fighting over mistakes that happened because of my disabilities and health issues, that to me is not a big deal but to everyone else seems to be the end of the world, I don't know if I even want to keep doing it.

I had dreams of becoming a press ombudsman one day, but now I see that the industry cares more about the bottom line and keeping readers happy than actually doing any sort of good, and it's not a flexible industry with room for mistakes, and I'm becoming decently disillusioned. I have other ways that I can make a difference, I don't need to be a journalist to help my community or inspire people or provide information that empowers. I can do private citizen journalism if it gets down to it and I feel like taking it up again, but the way I'm feeling about it right now it might be a long time before I touch the industry again if I quit or get fired.

And again, I'm not going to be stupid and hand in my notice now, it's a fixed job with an admittedly terrible but secure income, and I'd be going from employed but horribly depressed and unhealthy to unemployed with no guaranteed income if I do, so I'd rather work on side projects while I keep trying to do this job and quit when those projects prove fruitful.

There's also a strong possibility that adjusting my medication will make me functional again and I'll be back to not wanting to kill myself every time a reader gets pissed and calls me unprofessional because I got the time keeper at a race wrong, and I won't be as forgetful and dysfunctional to get it wrong in the first place, but I do feel I have to at least consider other possibilities and options.

And I'm writing this half to organize my own thoughts about this whole situation, and half to let others know that there are always options. If you're struggling, there are other things you can do if something doesn't work out. It's not necessarily the best course of action to give up on one thing without a guaranteed fallback, but if it gets down to it you can do something else. Passions change, dreams change, your needs change and so do your abilities. There is no shame in giving up one thing, as long as you don't stay down and give up on everything forever. You have options.

[sailoryooons]

you say I'm being nice, i say I'm being honest (I also say yes to your marriage proposal, no takebacksies)

as an engagement gift to us I thought I'd give you some book recs:

She Who Became the Sun, by Shelley Parker Chan

This book had me floored at certain parts where it navigates gender, sexuality, identity and purpose. I would be sat there feeling so captivated by the exploration of the MC's discovery of self that I knew it would stay high in favourites no matter what I would end up feeling about the plot lol. The good news is I like the plot too ahaha. I think it could be considered a slow burn for excitement levels, I know I recommended it to a friend who didn't read further than the first 1/4 bc it just didn't captivate them. It's the first physical book I bought and read after a long reading lapse, initially pulled in by the beautiful cover, fully intrigued by the author's explainer about where the book came from & very satisfied by my overall experience with it.

Iron Widow, by Xiran Jay Zhao

I basically read this book in two sittings and finished it immediately wanting to read the second (gotta wait a couple months yet). This book is interesting. The pose isn't particularly poetic or elaborate, and some things definitely feel over explained to the reader, however I think that tone adds to the attitude/charm of the book. The voice of the protagonist is incredibly refreshing and invigorating to become one with. I don't think many of the reveals/twists will sneak up on you, but I found that I didn't mind that I could see where most things were leading & just wanted to see MC follow their path. However there was one outcome that I was pleasantly surprised by that I've since seen the author openly talk about on their social media, so I wouldn't follow them until you've give it a read if you're interested. I'm excited to read the second book to see the MC find more of their power within themselves and take more power from the world around them.

Although both books very much have Chinese historical fiction as a genre in common, She Who Became the Sun is more historical fantasy whereas Iron Widow is more futuristic/historical sci-fi.

.. Those were all over the place reviews. yeehaw.

Also, I sent asks a couple weeks ago telling you that your words are that of a surprisingly good published author and I stand by it so hard. I find myself reading and thinking that your writing would be perfect on the printed page and honestly better than so much that's already out there and well acclaimed. I would eat dirt to see a fully fledged book of your fantasy worldbuilding.

I'm so excited for every fic you're gonna release this year. So excited.

Also also

on second thoughts it would probably more appropriate to say dark fae jimin will eat me (and I certainly won't be complaining)

OKAY SO I HAVE SHE WHO BECAME THE SUN ON MY BOOKSHELF! It's on my TBR list but I just started Wheel of Time so we will see how long that takes me. It is a solid 900 page per book so I will most likely read other things between each novel. I am so excited to read it, especially now. You have no idea.

I have read Iron Widow and I CANNOT WAIT UNTIL HEAVENLY TYRANT COMES OUT! I absolutely ADORE Xiran and that story made me look more into Chinese history and theology. I love that it is technically a retelling, in a way. I thought the lore of the crysalises and the dynamics between riders and the use of xi is so!!!! She is such a fantastic writer and I also really enjoy her as a person and her straight-forward approach to publishing.

THAT WAS YOU!?!?!!? WELL I am glad that we are now engaged. You get first dibs if I ever figure out how to publish a book bestie. Honestly, I just try to like... absorb all the big fantasy writers and apply it to my writing. I think the first time I ever realized I wanted to do writing was when I read Eragon in middle school. It's just. Such a masterpiece.

Fae Jimin will 100% eat you he is going to be kind of unhinged I am not sorry!

[seraphtrevs]

11 and 19 pretty please!

11. Do you believe in the old advice to “kill your darlings?” Are you a ruthless darling assassin? What happens to the darlings you murder? Do you have a darling graveyard? Do you grieve?

Short answer - yes, but that's a qualified yes. I write to have fun, so I think that writing should be indulgent - what's the point otherwise? However, things can go too far. Like, even if you have a huge sweet tooth, making an ice cream sundae with every possible syrup and topping would be disgusting, which is no longer deliciously indulgent. It just tastes bad. My rule is to go crazy in the first draft and then strip out some of the really over-the-top stuff. I don't mourn it because even if it was fun to write in the moment, I can see the little darling for the obnoxious brat it is and kick it out.

19. Tell me a story about your writing journey. When did you start? Why did you start? Were there bumps along the way? Where are you now and where are you going?

It's funny - I've been a huge reader since I was a little kid, but I never seriously considered writing until I was mostly grown up. I looked into it a little when I was a teenager, and every book I read said that you had only a slightly better chance of getting a book published as you did winning the lottery, so I decided I wouldn't bother to try. (Publishing is VERY different now, though. Pretty much anyone can publish a book, for better or worse lol)

Instead, I stuck to writing fic and wrote to please myself instead of worrying about getting past gatekeepers. I think that's the ideal way to write - to view the writing as an end in itself instead of worrying about how you'll get readers/approval, which just sucks the fun out of it.

Anyway, I worked it all out a little while ago, and I have written about one million words of fiction. I'm sure I'll get a few million more before I'm dead - can't seem to stop!

weird questions for writers

[kmclaude]

Forgive me Father, I have no awful headcanons for you, only a general question on comic making. How do you do it, writing-wise/how do you decide what points go where, how do you plot it out (or do you have any resources on the writing aspect that you find useful?) Not to get too bogged down in details, but I attended a writer’s workshop and the author in residence suggested I transfer my wordy sci-fi WIP into graphic novel script, as it might work better. (I do draw, but I don’t know if I have it in me to draw a whole comic—characters in motion? Doing things? With backgrounds? How dare, why can’t everyone just stand around looking pretty)

I was interested but it quickly turned into a lot of internal screaming as I tried to figure out how to compress the hell out of it, since novels are free to do a lot more internal monologuing and such compared to a comic format (to say nothing of trying to write a script without seeing how the panels lay out—just for my own sake, I might have to do both concurrently.)

As an aside, to get a feel for graphic novels I was rereading 99RM and was reminded of how great it was—tightly plotted, intriguing, and anything to do with Ashmedai was just beautifully drawn. I need more Monsignor Tiefer and something something there are parallels between Jehan and Daniel in my head and I don’t know if they make sense but it works for me. (As an aside, I liked the emphasis on atonement being more than just the word sorry, but acknowledgment you did wrong and an attempt to remedy it—I don’t know why that spoke to me the way that it did.)

I thought Tumblr had a word count limit for asks but so far it has offered zero resistance, oh well. I don’t have much else to say but on the topic of 99RM, Adam getting under Monsignor’s skin is amazing, 10/10 (about the Pride picture earlier)

wow tumblr got rid of the markdown editor! or at least in asks which means the new editor probably has no markdown....god i hate this site! anyway...

Totally! So first, giant thank you for the compliments! Second, I have a few questions in turn for you before I dive into a sort of answer, since I can give some advice to your questions in general but it also sounds like you have a specific conundrum on your hands.

My questions to your specific situation are:

did the author give any reason for recommending a, in your words, "wordy" story be turned into a graphic novel?

is the story you're writing more, like you said, "internal monologuing"? action packed? where do the visuals come from?

do you WANT it to be a comic? furthermore, do you want it to be a comic you then must turn around and draw? or would you be interested in writing for comics as a comic writer to have your words turned into art?

With those questions in mind, let me jump into the questions you posed me!

Let me start with a confession...

I've said this before but let me say it again: Ninety-Nine Righteous Men was not originally a comic — it was a feature-length screenplay! And furthermore, it was written for a class so it got workshopped again and again to tighten the plot by a classroom of other nerds — so as kind as your compliments are, I'm giving credit where credit is due as that was not just a solo ship sailing on the sea. On top of that, it got adapted (by me) into a comic for my thesis, so my advisor also helped me make it translate or "read" well given I was director, actor, set designer, writer, editor, SFX guy, etc. all in one. And it was a huge help to have someone say "there is no way you can go blow by blow from script to comic: you need to make edits!" For instance, two scenes got compressed to simple dialogue overlaid on the splashpage of Ashmedai raping Caleb (with an insert panel of Adam and Daniel talking the next day.) What had been probably at least 5 pages became 1.

Additionally, I don't consider myself a strong plotter. That said, I found learning to write for film made the plotting process finally make some damn sense since the old plot diagram we all got taught in grammar school English never made sense as a reader and definitely made 0 sense as a writer — for me, for some reason, the breakdown of 25-50-25 (approx. 25 pages for act 1, 50 for act 2 split into 2 parts of 25 each, 25 pages for act 3) and the breaking down of the beats (the act turning points, the mid points, the low point) helped give me a structure that just "draw a mountain, rising action, climax is there, figure it out" never did. Maybe the plot diagram is visually too linear when stories have ebb and flow? I don't know. But it never clicked until screenwriting. So that's where I am coming from. YMMV.

I should also state that there's Official Ways To Write Comic Scripts to Be Drawn By An Artist (Especially If You Work For A Real Publisher As a Writer) and there's What Works For You/Your Team. I don't give a rat's ass about the former (and as an artist, I kind of hate panel by panel breakdowns like you see there) so I'm pretty much entirely writing on the latter here. I don't give a good god damn about official ways of doing anything: what works for you to get it done is what matters.

What Goes Where?

Like I said, 99RM was a screenplay so it follows, beat-wise, the 3-act screenplay structure (hell, it's probably more accurate to say it follows the act 1/act 2A/act 2B/act 3 structure.) So there was the story idea or concept that then got applied to those story beats associated with the structure, and from there came the Scene-by-scene Breakdown (or Expanded Scene Breakdown) which basically is an outline of beats broken down into individual scenes in short prose form so you get an overview of what happens, can see pacing, etc. In the resources at the end I put some links that give information on the whole story beat thing.

(As an aside: for all my short comics, I don't bother with all that, frankly. I usually have an image or a concept or a bit of writing — usually dialogue or monologue, sometimes a concrete scene — that I pick at and pick at in a little sketchbook, going back and forth between writing and thumbnail sketches of the page. Or I just go by the seat of my pants and bullshit my way through. Either or. Those in many ways are a bit more like poems, in my mind: they are images, they are snapshots, they are feelings that I'm capturing in a few panels. Think doing mental math rather than writing out geometric proofs, yanno?)

Personally, I tend to lean on dialogue as it comes easier for me (it's probably why I'm so drawn to screenwriting!) so for me, if I were to do another longform GN, I'd probably take my general "uhhhhhh I have an idea and some beats maybe so I guess this should happen this way?" outline and start breaking it down scene by scene (I tend to write down scenes or scene sketches in that "uhhhh?" outline anyway LOL) and then figure out basic dialogue and action beats — in short, I'd kind of do the work of writing a screenplay without necessarily going full screenplay format (though I did find the format gave me an idea of timing/pacing, as 1 page of formatted script is about equal to 1 minute of screentime, and gave me room to sketch thumbnails or make edits on the large margins!) If you're not a monologue/soliloque/dialogue/speech person and more an image and description person, you may lean more into visuals and scenes that cut to each other.

Either way this of course introduces the elephant in the panel: art! How do you choose what to draw?

The answer is, well, it depends! The freedom of comics is if you can imagine it, you can make it happen. You have the freedoms (and audio limitations) of a truly silent film with none of the physical limitations. Your words can move in real time with the images or they can be a narrative related to the scene or they could be nonsequitors entirely! The better question is how do you think? Do you need all the words and action written first before you break down the visuals? Do you need a panel by panel breakdown to be happy, or can you freewheel and translate from word and general outlines to thumbnails? What suits you? I really cannot answer this because I think when it comes to what goes where with regard to art, it's a bit of "how do you process visuals" and also a bit of "who's drawing this?" — effectively, who is the interpreter for the exact thing you are writing? Is it you or someone else? If it's you, would you benefit from a barebones script alongside thumbnailed paneling? Would you be served by a barebones script, then thumbnails, then a new script that includes panel and page breakdowns? What frees you up to do what you need to do to tell your story?

If I'm being honest, I don't necessarily worry about panels or what something will look like necessarily until I'm done writing. I may have an image that I clearly state needs to happen. I may even have a sequence of panels that I want to see and I do indeed sketch that out and make note of it in my script. But exactly how things will be laid out, paneled, situated? That could change up until I've sketched my final pencils in CSP (but I am writer and artist so admittedly I get that luxury.)

How do I compress from novel to comic?

Honest answer? You don't. Not really. You adapt from one to another. It's more a translation. Something that would take forever to write may take 1 page in a comic or may take a whole issue.

I'm going to pick on Victor Hugo. Victor Hugo spent a whole-ass book in Notre-Dame de Paris talking about a bird's eye view of Paris and other medieval architecture boring stuff, with I guess some foreshadowing with Montfaucon. Who cares. Not me. I like story. Anyway. When we translate that book to a movie any of the billion times someone's done that, we don't spend a billion years talking at length about medieval Paris. There's no great monologuing about the gibbet or whatever: you get to have some establishing shots, maybe a musical number, and then you move tf on. Because it's a movie, right? Your visuals are right there. We can see medieval Paris. We can see the cathedral. We can see the gibbet. We don't need a whole book: it's visually right there. Same with a comic: you may need many paragraphs to describe, say, a space station off of Sirius and one panel to show it.

On the flip side, you may take one line, maybe two, to say a character keyed in the special code to activate the holodeck; depending on the visual pacing, that could be a whole page of panels (are we trying to stretch time? slow it down? what are we emphasizing?) A character gives a sigh of relief — one line of text, yeah? That could be a frozen panel while a conversation continues on or that could be two (or more!) panels, similar to the direction [a beat] in screenwriting.

Sorry there's not a super easy answer there to the question of compression: it's a lot more of a tug, a push-pull, that depends on what you're conveying.

So Do I Have It In Me to Write & Draw a GN?

The only way you'll know is by doing. Scary, right? The thing is, you don't necessarily need to be an animation king or God's gift to background artists to draw a comic.

Hell, I hate backgrounds. I still remember sitting across from my friend who said "Claude you really need to draw an establishing exterior of the church at some point" and me being like "why do you hate me specifically" because drawing architecture? Again? I already drew the interior of the church altar ONCE, that should be enough, right? But I did draw an exterior of the church. Sorta. More like the top steeple. Enough to suggest what I needed to suggest to give the audience a better sense of place without me absolutely losing my gourd trying to render something out of my wheelhouse at the time.

And that's kinda the ticket, I think. Not everyone's a master draftsman. Not everyone has all the skills in every area. And regardless, from page one to page one hundred, your skills will improve. That's all part of it — and in the meantime, you should lean into your strengths and cheat where you can.

Do you need to lovingly render a background every single panel? Christ no! Does every little detail need to be drawn out? Sure if you want your hand to fall off. Cheat! Use Sketchup to build models! Use Blender to sculpt forms to paint over! Use CSP Assets for prebuilt models and brushes if you use CSP! Take photographs and manip them! Cheat! Do what you need to do to convey what you need to convey!

For instance, a tip/axiom/"rule" I've seen is one establishing shot per scene minimum and a corollary to that has been include a background once per page minimum as grounding (no we cannot all have eternal floating heads and characters in the void. Unless your comic is set in the void. In which case, you do you.) People ain't out here drawing hyper detailed backgrounds per each tiny panel. The people who DO do that are insane. Or stupid. Or both. Or have no deadline? Either way, someone's gonna have a repetitive stress injury... Save yourself the pain and the headache. Take shortcuts. Save your punches for the big K.O. moments.

Start small. Make an 8-page zine. Tell a beginning, a middle, an end in comic form. Bring a scene to life in a few pages. See what you're comfortable drawing and where you struggle. See where you can lean heavily into your comfort zones. Learn how to lean out of your comfort zone. Learn when it's worth it to do the latter.

Or start large. Technically my first finished comic (that wasn't "a dumb pencil thing I drew in elementary school" or "that 13 volume manga I outlined and only penciled, what, 7 pages of in sixth grade" or "random one page things I draw about my characters on throw up on the interwebz") was 99RM so what do I know. I'm just some guy on the internet.

(That's not self-deprecating, I literally am some guy on the internet talking about my path. A lot of this is gonna come down to you and what vibes with you.)

Resources on writing

Some of these are things that help me and some are things that I crowd-sourced from others. Some of these are going to be screenwriting based, some will be comic based.

Making Comics by Scott McCloud: I think everyone recommends this but I think it is a useful book if you're like "ahh!!! christ!! where do I start!!!???" It very much breaks down the elements of comics and the world they exist in and the principles involved, with the caveat that there are no rules! In fact, I need to re-read it.

Comic Book Design: I picked this up at B&N on a whim and in terms of just getting a bird's eye view of varied ways to tackle layout and paneling? It's such a great resource and reference! I personally recommend it as a way to really get a feel for what can be done.

the screenwriter's bible: this is a book that was used in my class. we also used another book that's escaping me but to be honest, I never read anything in school and that's why I'm so stupid. anyway, I'd say check it out if you want, especially if you start googling screenwriting stuff and it's like 20 billion pieces of advice that make 0 sense -- get the core advice from one place and then go from there.

Drawing Words & Writing Pictures: many people I know recommended this. I think I have it? It may be in storage. So frankly, I'd already read a bunch of books on comics before grabbing this that it kind of felt like a rehash. Which isn't shade on the authors — I personally was just a sort of "girl, I don't need comics 101!!!"

Invisible Ink: A Practical Guide to Building Stories that Resonate: this has been recommended so many times to me. I cannot personally speak on it but I can say I do trust those who rec'd it to me so I am passing it along

the story circle: this is pretty much the hero's journey. a useful way to think of journeys! a homie pretty much swears by it

a primer on beats: quick google search got me this that outlines storybeats

save the cat!: what the above refers to, this gives a more genre-specific breakdown. also wants to sell you on the software but you don't need that.

I hope this helps and please feel free to touch base with more info about your specific situation and hopefully I'll have more applicable answers.

[cherry-gemz]

Only You: Ransom Drysdale x You

Summary: You and Ransom are an unlikely pair: different social classes, different personalities. But you find yourself together, but after an eventful evening, will it last?

Pairings: Ransom Drysdale x F!Reader

Word count: 1.7k

Warnings: 18+, mention of smut, slight dom!/sub!, tw violence, anger, roleplaying

A/N: My entry for @the-ce-horniest-book-club drabbles. This is meant to be silly roleplay. Just what the reader and Ransom do to spicy things up. I do not condone violence or any aggressive behavior. Everyone has consent. Under 18 DNI, pls.

Prompt: "I can't believe you're ending it over something so ridiculous!"

"I can't believe you're ending it over something so ridiculous!"

"It's not ridiculous. I saw it with my own eyes."

"You're crazy!"

"You better believe it, doll, but I'm not stupid. I know when two people have slept together."

"Ran, you need to get your eyes checked!" You spat and threw your drink at his face. The rest of the restaurant viewed the lover's spat and couldn't look away.

He wiped the drink from his face and shook the excess off from his hand. A devilish smirk appeared and then his face remained still.

Maybe I went too far, you thought. He's going to kill me.

***

Ransom Drysdale. His name was well known in the tri-state area: prolific playboy, a different woman on his arm every week. The only child of Richard Drysdale and Linda Thrombey, and grandson of Harlan Thrombey, a successful writer and mystery novelist extraordinaire. His arrogance and charisma originally turned you off though.

As the New England Club tennis instructor, you found yourself loathing the bratty socialite at first. His extreme good looks and physique were of course delicious to look at, but when he started up lessons with you, you nearly quit. He was a cocky son-of-a-bitch. Never much for small talk on the court.

The Thrombey's in general were self pretentious jerks; leeching off the renowned writer that started his publishing company from the ground up. Not quite old money, but definitely not new. No, the Thromby's were definitely fat cats when talking of wealth and status, but underneath all the designer clothing and flashy cars were hypocritical jerks and wankers. They weren't the self made millionaires as they proclaimed. No, Daddy Thrombey had every part in their success. Without his help, they'd be a fisherman's family.

But Ransom, oh Ransom. You were abhorrently disgusted at how he talked to the staff at the club. Shouting at the waiters when they got his whiskey or scotch order incorrect. Tossing plates at the hostess when his steak wasn't prepared to his likening. Even the pro shop boys were afraid of him that one time he went all Mcintyre on his newly strung racket.

But with you he was different. No, with you he was charming, polite...sweet even. Which made you weary even more of his intentions. He hadn't half bad at the game either, you thoroughly enjoyed playing a match with him. He took a lot of his aggression and stress out on the court and it was fun being competitive.

Eventually he asked you out for a drink, after two times of declining you accepted...mainly because you were curious of how a lazy, spoiled, man-child that was pushing early thirties, could still be so damn attractive.

So that date became two...those two dates became a month. And before you knew it, you were together six months and shocked that he was still entertained. The girls at the front desk were always flirting with him, but ever since you two were dating, he only had eyes for you.

And you for him. Until one night at a local restaurant, where while you waited for him to arrive, you sat at the bar nursing your dry martini. The man that Ransom accused you of sleeping with was attractive. A bit older than what you'd dated in the past, but attractive nonetheless.

"Here alone?" His voice was like butter as he pulled the stool next to you. You crossed your legs and flashed a thigh, your elongated stems were velvety and smooth from a wax appointment earlier that morning. You bit into the green olive and pulled it slowly off the wooden pick, your lips pursed and enticing, stained with a bordeaux wine color.

"Not exactly," you purred as you looked him up and down. His trim physique and armani suit was to be impressed by.

"Well, if you were my date I would never leave your side," he replied as he motioned to the bartender.

You leaned over the bar, pushing your chest up, giving ample viewing.

"Is that right?"

"Indeed. Why, I would kiss the ground you walk on, you're Aphrodite in the flesh."

You smile and giggle at the attention you receive. Unaware that Ransom had arrived and was watching the two of you from afar. The man slinked his hand on your thigh and you startle.

"I have a hotel room not too far from here, what do you say?"

You chest began to burn at the touch of his rough hands. Hands you were not used to. Why, the ones that would caress you down were soft, strong, and lean. Ones that never worked a day in their life.

You grab his hand and twist his wrist and unrelent. Gritting a smile through your teeth, you whisper in the intruder's ear.

"I say, if you lay another finger on me, you'll be peeing through a catheter for a week."

The man whimpered as you released your grip. Ransom barged between you two and decked him square in the jaw.

"You asshole!" He shouted as some patrons screamed. "Don't touch her."

Your intruder fell flat to the ground and everyone stared.

"C'mon, Y/N," Ransom's voice bellowed.

"I'm not done with my drink," you jest.

"I'll buy you a million more elsewhere, let's go."

The man got up slowly and rubbed his jaw, he started to yell obscenities, but security arrived and whisks him away.

"Did you know that guy?" He demanded. His east coast accent always came out thicker when he raised his voice.

You cooly take a sip of your drink, "What? Of course not."

"Yous looked like you did."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means, I'm not here for like five seconds and you already have a guy drooling over you. You let him touch you, Y/N!"

"I didn't let him do anything," you pull your compact out of your clutch and fix the crease of your eyelid makeup and brush it with your finger. You snap your compact shut and you can feel Ransom's temper build. His blood boiling, the nerve of that man. Touching you. Thinking that he could satisfy you. It got you hot that Ransom was jealous.

"Well what did you say to him? I saw you whisper in his ear!"

"I just warned him to not touch me again. I can handle myself Ran."

"You've been sleeping with him."

"That's rich, Ransom."

"Tell me I'm wrong."

You look at him dead straight in the eye, "You're wrong." His chest puffed, his cheeks red. He was showing a different side of him.

"Ransom doesn't like to share," you smirk and he slips his hand behind the small of your back.

"I won't ask again, Y/N. Let's go."

You sit up from the stool, "That was you asking?"

"You know what, Y/N…"

"What?"

"We're over."

Your heart drops to your stomach and you want to puke. We're over? Why? Because of some dumb misunderstanding? Is he serious?

"I can't believe you're ending it over something so ridiculous!"

"It's not ridiculous. I saw it with my own eyes."

"You're crazy!"

"You better believe it, doll, but I'm not stupid. I know when two people have slept together."

"Ran, you need to get your eyes checked!" You spat and threw your drink at his face. The rest of the restaurant viewed the lover's spat and couldn't look away.

He wiped the drink from his face and shook the excess off from his hand. You storm out of the restaurant with him quickly behind you. Your heels pound on the cement as you turn the corner around the dark building. The sound of the harbor waves and the rocking of the boats can be heard from a distance.

"Y/N."

You continue to stride along the brick wall, the moon shone above the inked sky.

"Y/N!" He repeated as he grasped you by the hips. You peered into his blue eyes and searched for answers. He stared intently into yours and didn't say anything. Within seconds, he smashed his lips onto yours, smearing the once perfectly colored lips. His hands cupped your face with a strong hold and you grabbed his dress shirt collar and pressed your body into his.

His hands roam up and down your silhouette, then they find themselves on your globes and he clutches your ass.

He grunts through the kiss as you sigh seductively. He peppers his kisses down your cheek to your neck and sucks on your chest, leaving a mark.

"Ran…" you say breathlessly as his left hand trails up your thigh.

"You are mine…" he coos as you nod.

"Yes, baby…"

"He had no right to touch you."

"No, it was bad. You taught him a lesson."

"You've been bad, it's your turn for a lesson," he whispers in your ear as he inserts his tongue and runs it along your lobe. Chills rub up and down your body and you build a pool between your legs.

"So bad…" you tease.

"Y/N…" he says as you grasp his excitement through his trousers.

"Did you mean it?"

"Mean what baby?" He asks as he slips a digit beneath your panties.

"That we're over," you squeak as you close your eyes and he continues to pleasure you.

"Yes…" he ramps up his ministrations and you grab his wrist, unhappy with his answer. He smiles devilishly.

"Ransom!"

He stops, but doesn't leave his hand from your folds. He looks earnestly in your eyes, even though the unlit side of the restaurant, you can tell he's exposed and being real.

"In ways that I'm done hiding, baby. No more. I want you to be my girl, I want to tell everyone."

This is the Ransom that you know, not the man who hated his family and has never had a nice thing said about him. No, he's a complicated one, but he's yours.

"W-what?" You choke. You had been on the down low all these months considering you were his tennis instructor. You'd be fired for breaching the conflict of interest with a client, and you weren rich like him. The strutiny you'd receive from his family, from the town. All eyes would be on you. He cups your cheek with his free hand.

"Move in with me, baby. I'm crazy about you. I don't want anyone else. You're it, doll."

"Ran…"

"What do you say?" He asks as he starts to pleasure you once again and stifle a giggle.

"You are nuts," you reply as you see stars.

"Fine. But next time I choose the roleplaying, tonight got out of hand," you say and shove him playfully.

"Sure thing, baby. Whatever you say."

[onceupona-chaos]

Shackles and bridges: SJM and the mating bond

I know there are a lot of posts about this, but I wanted to do one myself, so here we go.

DISCLAIMER: This is my interpretation as someone who is a very new member of this fandom and has more contact with “common readers”, since I was one myself until a couple of months ago. Everything here is based on textual evidence and my experience as an avid reader, so take a step back from any ship. But I will talk about the probability of a rejected mating bond, so if that's not your cup of tea, be warned. English is not my first language, so forgive me for any mistakes.

Be kind!

Also, minor spoiler for CC.

The mating bond is the most important element in SJM’s books and it's present in most of the main endgame couples. Aelin and Rowan, Feyre and Rhys, Nesta and Cassian, for example.

It’s described as this precious, sacred bridge between souls - or is it?

SJM is a very formulaic writer. We can draw several parallels with her writing, due to the way she structures her scenes and chooses her words.

We saw this explicitly with Nesta and Cassian in the Solstice scene, which is very similar to the one between Feyre and Rhysand: an emotional discussion, kissing tears away, lovemaking with “say it” and “you’re mine”, mating bond glowing between them, on and on.

Different characters, but same scenario, same process, same wording, almost the same scene.

However, considering that every mated couple until now ends up together HEA, I have the feeling that SJM is starting to explore the mating bond in different ways, otherwise every one of her books would be too… similar? In a way that the reader wouldn’t be surprised anymore, it would be the same story over and over.

To the ones who are faithful to those characters and to her books (her fans), this isn’t exactly a problem, but we have to consider the other readers as well, the bigger audience (SJM sold millions of copies, so not everyone who reads her books is engaged online).

For that exact reason, to approach a narrative element in a different way is very common among writers.

I’ll give you an example with Cassandra Clare and the parabatai bond (SPOILERS from TDA): the parabatai bond is an oath between friends who swear to protect each other. In TMI and TID, we have this bond between friends (Jace and Alec/ Will and Jem) that are almost brothers. However, in TDA, we have two parabatai (Julian and Emma) falling in love with each other, which is extremely forbidden.

The different ways a writer can approach the same elements are important to keep the readers engaged - not the reader who is a fan, but especially the occasional reader. Otherwise, it would be the “if you’ve read one, you’ve read them all” kind of thing, which is no bueno.

With that in mind, I really think SJM is starting to explore/ approach different sides of the mating bond.

Mate—not husband. The Fae had mates: an unbreakable bond, deeper than marriage, that lasted beyond death. (Heir of Fire/ ToG)

“But if they’re blessed, they’ll find their mate—their equal, their match in every way. High Fae wed without the mating bond, but if you find your mate, the bond is so deep that marriage is … insignificant in comparison.”

Another proof that SJM is formulaic: in both ToG and ACOTAR, the bond is presented for the first time in comparison to marriage, as something deeper and sacred.

However, Bryce, main character of CC (SJM book published before ACOSF), looks at it very differently:

“And at least he’s not some psychotic alphahole who will demand a three- day sex marathon and then call me his mate, lock me in his house, and never let me out again.” Which was why Reid—human, okay-at-sex Reid—was perfect.

This is such a contrast. To Bryce, the mating bond would take her freedom away (keep that in mind).

I’m not saying Bryce won’t have a mate or anything like that, but we don’t start reading CC with the same vision about the mating bond presented in the other books: a sacred bond, deeper than marriage. Bryce couldn’t care less about that, not once she wondered if Hunt is her mate.

Therefore, I don’t think SJM finally writing a different story about the mating bond so unthinkable. On the contrary, we see writers doing that all the time.

Also, I’m not saying Elain will reject it, but SJM is not only approaching the mating bond in different ways now, but she already structured a very solid base for a mating bond rejection to happen if she wants to:

ACOWAR

“You said your mother and father were wrong for each other; Tamlin said his own parents were wrong for each other.” I peeled off my dressing robe. “So it can’t be a perfect system of matching. What if”—I jerked my chin toward the window, to my sister and the shadowsinger in the garden—“that is what she needs? Is there no free will? What if Lucien wishes the union but she doesn’t?”

“A mating bond can be rejected”.

SJM already wrote a whole scene to explain the mating bond and how, for some people, is not this sacred thing and it can be rejected. Not only that, she directly approached that Elain could reject it if she wanted to, and that scene involved Lucien and Azriel.

“You are his mate. Do you even know what that means?”

“It means nothing,” Elain said, her voice breaking. “It means nothing. I don’t care who decided it or why they did—”

“You belong to him.”

“I belong to no one. But my heart belongs to you.“

Also in ACOWAR, Elain makes herself very clear: she would have ignored/ rejected the mating bond right there if Graysen still wanted a future with her, because she loved him. She would have chosen to follow her heart without hesitation.

The funny thing is that Azriel - Elain's current love interest - never saw that scene, never saw how Elain vigorously rejected Lucien for someone she loved or the way Graysen rejected her (I’ll leave this information to you).

ACOFAS

Those doe-brown eyes turned toward me. Sharper than I’d ever seen them.

“And that entitles him to my time, my affections?”

“No.” I blinked.

Her mouth tightened, the only sign of anger in her graceful countenance. “I don’t want a mate. I don’t want a male.”

Months go by and Elain is still uncomfortable with the bond.

ACOSF

“I am not always in this city to see my mate.” The last two words dripped with discomfort.

Her brown eyes were wary. Usually, that look was reserved for Lucien.

Elain only shrank further into herself, no trace of that newfound boldness to be seen.

At this point, it’s clear: the question "what if the Cauldron was wrong?" didn’t come out of nowhere, not only for Azriel, but in the narrative as well.

SJM had been slowly hinted at for three books now. I know she can change her mind, but if she wants to write about it, she made sure to write the perfect opportunity:

SJM already wrote a scene about the possibility of Elain rejecting the bond, that involved Elain, Lucien and Azriel, so it’s not coming from nowhere;

Lucien compared how different Elain is from the female who he had really loved;

They are both uncomfortable around each other;

Elain is romantically interested in someone else, who was part of that scene back in ACOWAR when we were presented to the possibility;

This someone else (Azriel) is interested in her;

SJM made sure to tie the romantic plot (Elain’s mating bond) with a political plot (Blood Duel);

The political plot is connected to the overarching plot (Autumn Court, Beron and Eris/ Koschei);

Mostly important: Elain is showing for three books that she doesn't want the bond;

"I don't want a mate. I don't want a male."

She literally said that with all the letters.

We can see this dichotomy between shackles (no freedom) x bridge (a connection) regarding Lucien as well.

"(Jesminda) She had chosen him. Elain had been … thrown at him."

He said that Elain had been thrown at him and also that they were shackled.

“Give her time to accept it.”

“To accept a life shackled to me?” (ACOFAS)

And then right in the next book (ACOSF) we have this:

“Well, I didn’t have a choice in being shackled to you, either.”

The declaration slammed into her. Shackled.(…)

Shackled.

Words beckoned, sharp as knives, begging for her to grab one and plunge it into his chest. Make him hurt as much as that one word hurt her.

SJM emphasized what that one word meant by repeating it and using italics. It’s another side of a mating bond: not a bridge of connection, but shackles with no freedom, no choice.

If Nesta was that hurt when Cassian (someone she loves) said that he didn’t get a choice in being "shackled” to her, can you imagine how is it for Elain and to actually have this bond with someone she don't love? And to Lucien as well?

The thing is in terms of storytelling, and by that I mean the plot, it’s undeniable that we already have everything that’s necessary to approach the matter of the mating bond in a way the reader has never seen before.

It’s a huge possibility, one that would make the regular readers interested (we have to remember that, not everyone who reads those books is engaged. They read them when it’s appealing).

If you want to look deeper, we can see little clues that point to that narrative path, too:

Elain shall wed for love and beauty.

The bond Elain had chosen.

Elain cut in sharply, “I am not a child to be fought over.”

Now, why hasn't Elain rejected the bond?

Because a writer doesn’t waist a good plot like that. Simple as that.

Let me tell you: SJM won’t waist that plot because a part of the fandom doesn’t like Elain, because 1) the online fandom itself is just a part of the readers; 2) inside the online fandom there are people who dislike Elain, who are neutral about her and people who like her; 3) SJM already know some people hate Elain, otherwise she wouldn’t have wrote this:

You think Elain is boring?

I think she’s kind, I’ll take kindness over nastiness any day. But I also think we haven’t seen all she has to offer yet.

SJM already told us she likes to write about disliked characters. She will write the story she wants to write and ACOSF is the major proof of that. If it’s a rejection or not, only she knows, everything could happen.

But SJM has been writing about mating bonds for years, do you really think the first time we get to see a rejection it would be for someone else’s POV? Or in a minor plot as if it isn’t a big deal? Especially when this rejection is directly related to a political plot and to the overarching plot?

No, not when SJM has enough material to write 700 pages and more, not when she has the opportunity to make a whole book out of this, one that is something entirely new for the reader, not when SJM built the perfect opportunity herself.

[helenarlett-rex]

Helen rambles on in a long post about her her relationship with Ninja Turtles.

Something my readers may or may not know about me is that I am a huge old school fan of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. I was born at just the right time to be just the right age for the original Ninja Turtles cartoon back when it first came out in 1987. I lived through the big Ninja Turtle boom of the late 80s/early 90s when you couldn’t turn on a TV or step outside your house without having the Ninja Turtles shoved into your face one way or another. And I loved it. It was glorious. I fully blame Ninja Turtles for turning me into a furry. And I’m cool with that...

As a kid I watched TMNT every single day, read the comic books any chance I had to get my hands on them, and had a massive collection of Ninja Turtles toys. (Like... thinking back to the financial state we were in when I was a kid, I’m really not sure how my parents even afforded to buy all the stuff I had.) Until the day came that Ninja Turtles became “occultic,” and then I didn’t have any of that anymore... My mother bought into the satanic panic pretty hard back then so it was always just a matter of time before something I loved became “of the Devil” and it would be taken away from me. Once my Ninja Turtles collection (which would have been pretty fucking valuable today if I still had all of it) made its way to the dreaded bi-annual yard sale, I wound up slipping from the fandom.

I never fell out of it entirely. Yeah, I never got to watch the original cartoon all the way to the end of the series, but I would catch an episode here and there when my mother wasn’t around. And by the time The Next Mutation started airing in 1997 enough time had passed that Ninja Turtles wasn’t on my mother’s shit list anymore (she’d moved on to other things) so when I was a teenager I got back into watching Turtles with that series. I watched the 2003 series, and the 2012 series after that... But it never really went back to being something I was obsessed over like it had been when I was a kid. It was just something I watched on TV because it was nostalgic.

Ninja Turtles still held a special place in my heart... Always has... I’d even attribute much of career as a writer to the existence of TMNT. Eastman and Laird kind of came up with the idea as something of a joke, but then they published it anyways and despite how insane the idea was, it became a massive hit. So I’ve always looked back at Ninja Turtles and told myself no idea is too stupid or insane to find an audience or even become successful. But even with the esteem I hold for the franchise, I wouldn’t have considered myself in the fandom anymore.

So when IDW got the rights to start producing comic books for Ninja Turtles I didn’t really pay it any attention. I had read the old Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Adventures comic book published by Archie comics back in the day, but by this time I had fallen into just being a casual fan so I wasn’t really interested in getting back into comics. I was happy to see that someone was publishing comics for it again... Just didn’t feel any need to read them.

And then I heard that IDW had introduced a 5th turtle... A turtle woman... And I was like, that’s cool. We already had Venus de Milo back in The Next Mutation, so it’s not really a new concept. Despite the way many of the fans reacted, I actually liked Venus de Milo so it was nice to see someone giving a turtle lady another shot. I hoped this new one would have better luck than the last one did, but that was about the extent of my thoughts on the matter.

Then I saw her and I was like, okay... She’s actually kind of badass...

And I approve of giving her a body shape that isn’t any different from the guy turtles. Not that I hated Venus‘ more feminine body shape or anything... But portraying her as just another Ninja Turtle instead of feeling a need to draw attention to the fact that she’s a woman every single time you look at her is a nice change of pace.

This got me interested enough to look into the comic she’s appearing in and to my surprise I learned that the comic is being written by Kevin Eastman, one of the original two creators of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. (The better of the two if you ask me.) Now suddenly I’m really interested... A new Ninja Turtles comic book by Eastman himself? Without Laird there to interfere with all of his bullshit...? Okay, that settled it. I was going to have to give this a look.

So I did... And not only have I found the comic to be surprisingly good... but then I get to see our new turtle, Jennika (Jenny) and see what she’s like, and... oh god... Not only is she a tough, smart, capable Ninja Turtle, but she’s also an ex-con who’s done time in prison and completely hilarious? And oh god... she’s self conscious of the way she looks...? That’s something I can relate to heavily.

Okay... You are already making me love this character far too much... I mean, the only thing left that you could possibly do to make her any better would be to have her come out a queer.

Okay and then it fucking happens!

You made a tough, badass, turtle lady with a shady past who looks like a guy, is self conscious about how she looks, dresses punk, is humorous without being over the top about it, AND she’s bisexual? It’s like... Did someone tell Eastman I stopped being a hardcore fan? Did he sit down and deliberately write a character I could relate to on nearly every level just to get me back? Because that’s what it feels like right now... I mean, she’s even dating a hot pig girl, which is very much to my tastes...

Eastman may not realize this was written for me, but... this was fucking written for me...

So I guess I’m back in the Ninja Turtle fandom again... *Shrugs*

[phoenixtakaramono]

Hi! :) I was reading your post about SQH in TUT and it got me thinking. Since this version also wrote SVSSS, when he transmigrates does he realize his "dream" was real? Also, you hinted that he recognizes SY as the same person who transmigrated into SQQ, so now I'm wondering if he tells SY that, and how SY would react to learning he's the protagonist of SVSSS in another universe. I just love thinking about how meta this could potentially get, haha.

Can't wait to find out more! Keep up the good work!

(Follow-Up Post to: Part I, Part II)

@the-legend-of-chel 👏👏👏 Luv, good to see you in my Asks! I’m glad to hear that you’re looking forward to finding out more in The Untold Tale! And thanks for your support and encouragement. 💖

(TUT ch1 - Excerpt)

You’re right. There is a lot of meta potential with older!Airplane Shooting Towards the Sky being the MXTX equivalent in this AU—or, rather, I like to imagine him growing up to be the Stephen King equivalent of modern day China with a prolific portfolio of written works (novels and short stories, and extras). In canon, he churned out a great number of words per chapter and in a speedy amount of time! Do you guys know how miraculous that is, as a writer? I envy him so much! To be able to churn out that much content in a short amount of time, and in a scheduled regimen, is amazing! That’s basically my angle having written this into the prologue of TUT. That’s partially the reason why I wrote ch1. I liked the idea of paying homage to SVSSS and saying that it’s an actual book series in TUT universe that Airplane wrote (as funny as the idea would be, I wasn’t about to let SY be the one to write it, lol, for intellectual property reasons since the PIDW characters belong to Airplane, which would necessitate SY changing names and character appearances if he published what we know as irl SVSSS, so the best I can give SY is saying he wrote his own PIDW fanfic which basically launched his novelist career because he’d realized, hey, I actually have a knack for writing and the ever so spiteful I feel like practically every writer has had this thought before: fine, if I don’t see what I want to read, then I’ll write it myself!)

(TUT ch1 - Excerpt)

We’re approaching TUT spoiler territory so skip below if you don’t wish to be spoiled.

TUT (Meta) Spoilers

I personally love meta. If I’m to be writing a lovestory to SVSSS, there will be attempts at meta thrown into TUT. And this is one of them:

Airplane did “dream” about canon SVSSS. He basically “dreamt” about his favorite black powder fan, Peerless Cucumber

changing events of Airplane’s biggest regret Proud Immortal Demon Way. (As a writer, it embarrasses me to read my old writing. So I imagine it could be the same for Airplane.) As an author, Airplane recognized what he dreamt had potential to be a commercial success as a danmei transmigration story so basically every time he woke up, he would write pieces of what he remembers in a dream journal when the memory was fresh in his brain. It also allowed Airplane the opportunity to show his readers through the perspective of SY! Shen Qingqiu what Airplane had originally wanted to write, but integrated in a way that blends seamlessly into the reading experience. He would’ve thought it was a bit weird and strange that his brain dreamt about his past critic—whom he’d considered a small celebrity in the PIDW forums back then—aka his anti-fan-turned-accomplished-novelist in the writing industry, so he felt embarrassed that his unconscious brain must have thought very highly of the man.

So Airplane omitted any mention of Peerless Cucumber from the final draft of SVSSS (if he mentioned both “Shen Yuan” and “Peerless Cucumber,” then even SY would be like, Hey, wait one moment....). This detail will be included in a later chapter, but did you know the name “Shen Yuan” has come up in other works? Let’s ignore the variations on the Chinese written characters for the name “Shen Yuan.” There was the evil older brother character Shen Yuan from The Rebirth of the Malicious Empress of Military Lineage, a side character named Shen Yuan from a C-drama (I think he was an old minister?), and there’s even an irl visual artist named Shen Yuan. Shen Yuan (Shen Garden) is also a famous romantic garden in Shaoxing, known for the love story between Lu You and Tang Wan.

(Shen Yuan Garden - Trip Advisor Review)

Basically “Shen Yuan” in itself is not a particularly uncommon name in China (imo I would not say it’s super popular either). So when SY saw his name mentioned once or twice in Airplane’s SVSSS—aka rebooted PIDW—during his read-through, he was like, Huh, what a strange coincidence. And then dismissed it as circumstantial and thought nothing of seeing his name come up in a cutsleeve novel as the new protagonist, haha. It’s like a book written by Anne Rice; one of the titles coincidentally has the same name as mine. Now, obviously the book and main character is not based or inspired by me; I just coincidentally share the same name. If I see books which have characters with my same first name, generally I like to read them and sometimes even collect them for my bookshelves. Because there’s something just so fun and interesting about seeing your own name in a fictional piece of work.

There’s also meta joke potential about Airplane dreaming of himself being transmigrated into the cannon fodder Shang Qinghua and seeing the romantic miscommunications between the younger version of himself (his self-insert essentially) and the fictional Mobei jūn character. I can certainly say seeing such dreams would make Airplane question his sexuality and awaken something dormant in him, haha. He’d realize he might not be not as straight as he thought he was, if his brain was capable of dreaming of SY!SQQ being crushed on by LBH, and SQH being crushed on by MBJ and essentially following MBJ around calling him “my king” this and “my king” that. He’ll be sweating bullets when he meets this world’s version of MBJ, because Airplane will definitely remember how the younger Self-Insert version of himself acted toward MBJ in the SVSSS world. (It’s the classic “Just because I dreamed about it happening doesn’t mean it’ll happen here, right? ...Right? Cucumber brother, you’re a fortuneteller! Please check our eight characters for me! I have to know my marriage compatibility with Mobei jūn!”)

In a later chapter, there will be the reveal where Airplane tells Shen Yuan that he “dreamt” of a universe where a younger version of Shen Yuan—having choked on mantou (馒头) (paying homage to the donghua) or just being transmigrated in general after raging at a younger ASTTS’s writing (paying homage to the books)—transmigrated into the Shen Qingqiu we know from SVSSS who married Bing mèi. Because I think it will be hilarious when TUT’s SY finds out about the true source of Airplane’s inspiration, and he’ll naturally freak out over the fact that this is the very same Bing gē from Airplane’s Bing-gē vs Bing-mèi extra and that he’s essentially somehow stumbled on the same path as the alternative younger SY!SQQ “from Airplane’s imagination.” I will leave this open to interpretation if this does show up (it’s just an idea I’m playing with) but I might hint that there might be a higher power at play which allowed Airplane a peek into another universe—which manifested as his dreams.

I very much like this dynamic (we might see this exchange, verbatim, in a future chapter in TUT):

SY/ LBH —> He gave him a disdainful gaze.

Airplane cried inwardly at the oppression and the feeling of being wronged.

Haha, none of this is really Airplane’s fault^ though. It’s a fun parallel and if I’m still motivated when we get to the wedding and consummation chapter, we might see an epilogue where SY and Bing gē from TUT meets SY!SQQ and Bing mèi maybe. Because I think it’ll be funny with the two LBHs getting into a shouting/ fighting match about who has the “superior Shen Yuan” while the two SYs just shake their heads at their silly husbands (and potentially TUT’s SY, as the older party, can impart his fortunetelling wisdom and advice to SY!SQQ).

Personally I can’t wait when we get to those chapters, because I know it’ll be entertaining to write, haha. Personally TUT is a fun project because there’s just so much meta potential that can be incorporated and I have a lot of fun imagining the scenarios.

*Note: like always, keep in mind that these are just my current thoughts. Details are subject to change; things aren’t considered official until they show up in the final draft on AO3. :)

The Novelists’ First Impressions

The first impression SY and Airplane will have of each other will be fun. Because in their perspective, written in my notes it’s essentially like:

(Airplane seeing SY):

His first reaction was shock. Shock because the mere mortal he used to be could not conceive so much charisma being emitted by this guy.

This is definitely a man who had put all of his stats into CHARISMA.

(SY seeing Airplane):

He's suspiciously good looking in ways that normal people are not.

Ah, the Cucumberplane friendship in TUT is going to be so much fun. Not only are these two older souls who transmigrated (both are mid-aged in this universe), they’re both accomplished novelists in their own right in the writing industry. Which means with these two being celestial beings, there’s so many clichés we can playfully poke fun at.

It also makes me laugh because imagine being SY, and seeing a guy (mortal!Airplane) who exudes the same energy as these two imperial princes GIFs:

[amindofstone]

let me hold you for a bit

{

a/n: And here we have another scenario I made up in my head before going to sleep just to make myself sad over basically something none existing. GREATTTTT!!! Anyways, while writing this I honestly got hella mad over the word swordsman. I googled it and found out that this is a neutral word and can be used for the male but also female gender. It's just like the word mankind. Like the fck?! Why is language so patriarchal?! I'm going to have a looooooong discussion with my professor about that... Anyways have fun and enjoy this little work of mine. ;)

Genre: anime image?

Character(s): Eustass "captain" Kid × Serena (reader)

Words: 2295

Spoiler(s): none

Info: For better reading keep in mind that the words in italic are either Kid's or readers train of thoughts. It is both written in italic but it is understandable on who's thoughts it is (Hopefully).

Warning(s): a bit of cursing and swearing, I guess. But nothing to be worried of. (+ grammatical or spelling mistakes since English is my third language and I'm still improving in every aspect. (Please have mercy on that))

!!! Please do not steal my idea or work. Credit me if this is shared or published in any other platform or any other way. This took me a lot of time. So please respect me as the writer and my work. Picture is not mine. Credits to the rightful owner @nan50ku (on Twitter). !!!

}

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

One and a half year ago he send his first mate to recruite her as a swordsman although some of his mates weren't really fond of his choice for a long time. So he took it upon himself to convince them to agree to his word. He might be the captain but he cherished his crew a lot although he never said nor really showed it because he is not the type of man who likes to openly show emotions since he considered it as weak.

So after a few days of long arguments between the stubborn captain and his first mate he was able to make him and his crew accept his decision to make the female fencer a part if their life and goal. Although the captain was really fond of her being the crew still took her presence on board with a lot of scepticism and caution since they barely knew anything about her. Not only took it the entire crew but also the woman itself a lot if time and patience to get used to their new environment. Lucky for her she was not the only female on board. There seemed to be another woman who was recruited by the pirates long ago. She however had nothing against her and welcomed her with open arms just like the captain who unlike her had more than just one reason to accept her with joy.

Days passed and she slowly started to open up more and socialise with the people on board more and more. Weeks passed and she laughed and fought side by side with them. Months passed and she shared memories of her childhood with the people off the Kid pirates and heared a few of theirs. But it was after a year with them when the woman Eustass Kid took in his crew with pure joy, told the people she grew fond of that her father was a important person at the revolutionary army and that she therefore was also a part of them. She thought that they might throw her out and get mad at her secrecy but nothing happened. In fact they were glad she told them something important as this. But most of all they were happy to see that the woman that kept quiet for so long opened up to them to this extent.

While they all thought nothing else of it and kept going as if nothing happened one person in particular seemed to grow angrier day by day. He locked himself up in his cabin or his workshop and only came out when it was necessary which got the crew worried more and more.

It was well known for his mates that their captain was a naturally reckless man but never over nothing. He was going mad at the most unnecessary and simple things. When they docked on islands Kid would usually celebrate, drink more and more. He wouldn't give a damn about anyone and would have a great time. But since he became quite temperamental and gloomy for no reason in particular he kept staying in his cabin. He would always give all of his crew mates a list of supplies and get back in his workshop and ignore his first mates question if he doesn't want to come out for a while. Even when he slammed the door shut behind him his first mate who was also his best friend would keep telling him that it was not okay for him to stop talking to his people. After all it was them that worked for him and respected him. But the only thing the blond man would get was a annoyed and angry "Fuck off!".

Now one and a half year later, after he recruited the female bold fencer, the crew would find him knocking on the door of her bedroom at least twice a week. And when she wouldn't be in her bedroom when he came he would simply enter and just wait for her inside, no matter how long it took her to come back to her room. Just like now.

Kid took a quick glance at the clock at the wall over her desk that was occupied by probably a dozen books for her researches. A smile spread over his red lips that turned into a small chuckle when he remembered how happy she got when he came back yesterday with a bunch of new books. When he told her that Killer included some novels to the already enormous pile of books they came back with her face light up. How can someone like reading that much. It's a waste of time when it's not informative. Kid who was sitting on her bed stood up and walked up to her desk and took a look at her notes of the task he gave her. With a little too much of a proud smile he leaned back and took her notebook in his hands and went through it to kill some time. Not long after, the door to the room he was sitting in was opened by its owner.

"Oh I'm sorry did you wait long?", a woman with two swords attached to her small waist entered with a genuine smile on her plum lips with the colour of a deep pink. "Not at all. I was going through your notes and I'm am surprised how much informations you found out in such a short period. It really was a good idea to get you to be a part of my crew.", said the red haired man without looking up from the book in his hands. He was taking his time reading because he didn't wanted to leave so soon. He wanted to have a reason to stay in her room with her without anyone else. He wanted her to himself all alone. But he never dared and will never dare to say it out loud.

He came to her again just like any other time since months now with the hope of her coming and sitting on his lap on her own. He wanted her to hold his face in her small and tender hands while caressing his cheeks in the painful slow pace she always did. He wanted to bury his face on her neck and breath in her scent that got him addicted. He felt small, he felt weak, he felt stupid when she was around. Because he knew that he was helplessly in love with a woman that was to good for him and would probably leave as soon as the no. 2 of the revolutionary army would order her over. The thought of a man that could get her to any place in the world got him angrier than necessary.

Kid pushed everything aside. All of his emotions and the need to hold her just to lean on her desk and take a pen and paper and work on her notes. Focus and ignore her you fool. He told himself off and tried his best to bury his need to take a look at her in the deepest corner of his heart. So it came that he was now working on her notes while every now and than asking her what she meant with a specific note or if the information that was given to her is trustworthy or not. A hour passed and Serena took a shower and changed into a pair of shorts and an oversized sweater she recently purchased. She was sitting in her bed and read a novel when she let out a quiet yawn. She put her book on her nightstand and got under her blanket just to realise that she wasn't alone. Her green orbs fell upon her captain that was silently doing her work. When was the last time he had eight hours of sleep? Can't he relax for a bit? Every time I see him he is either in his workshop or on sea. "Kid? Aren't to going to sleep or at least rest for a bit?"

A soft and gentle voice replaced the calm silence and made the red haired man's heart race while his body turned warm. He felt like he had a fever and was about to collapse when he heard the bed behind him shift. He didn't move a bit or said anything until he felt her soft hands on his shoulders. "You should go to bed. Rest a bit. You need a healthy dose of sleep and resting otherwise you won't be able to fight properly, you know?"

Kid said nothing. He didn't reply to her or move. "Kid? You alright?", and again he didn't gave a answer but closed his eyes and turned around just to sit her down on his lap. "Stay. Stay like that for a while. I know that you want me to leave and I will do so but for now just stay like that and let me hold you for a bit."

The usually loud and aggressive captain was holding onto the female fencer like a child while his face was buried between her shoulder and neck. The feared captain was slowly breathing in her scent and letting out a hardly audible whimper. But Serena heard it what made her shiver slightly out of shook. She carefully placed her hands on his face and made him look in her eyes but the stubborn man refused to do so. He kept his eyes closed and his jaw clenched out of anger towards himself. What the actual fuck am I doing?! What is wrong with me? Why is my fucking heart racing?! GOD, stop it!! The captains cheeks were softly caressed by the woman he sat on his lap. While doing so she waited for him to hopefully open his eyes and allow her a look into his onyx black eyes. She didn't want to push him to something he didn't wanted so she kept quiet and gave him time to relax. While doing so she place her forehead against his and hummed a soft melody that seemed familiar to the captain of the worst generation but he couldn't quite get why it was so familiar and comforting.

Still not opening his eyes Kid spoke in a low and quiet voice "Would you mind me sleeping next to you for tonight?", a smile grew on Serenas lips and made a chuckle follow. "How come you are able to speak so nice and so.. I don’t know... gentleman like? No, thats not it. Let's just say it was really really nice and respectfully said.", said the green eyed woman while leading him to her bed and tugging him in. "Don't make me regret my word choice. I can go back to cursing and insulting you in any minute, woman."

The laughter of Serena filled the comforting silence that lingered in the room. A laughter that made the heart of the man laying at the right of the bed jump in joy. "And there we have our rude captain back. I kinda missed your rudeness around me. It's kinda entertaining and funny. I mostly like to see you and Killer fight with him always stating facts and you just yelling around a bunch of angry - No's- like a child.", with a smile upon her lips she made a little fun of the man she loved to have close to her. She liked spending time with him. She loved it when he came to her to complain about a failed plan of his or that of his first mate. She really appreciated when he searched for her whenever he needed to calm down and get away form his responsibilities as the captain. And everytime she would drop anything and anyone just to give him all of her attention as long as she could help. But everytime she did so the tall and muscular man wondered why she acted that way towards him because he knew that he wasn't someone easy-going.

"You're really annoying. Everytime I come to see you, you make me regret it.", Kid rolled his eyes to show his annoyance to support his point while still wearing a tiny friendly smile on. Serena laid down and pulled her blanket up to her shoulder right before she placed a hand under her pillow and her other hand lovingly on her captains cheek. Kid closed his eyes and did exactly what he asked her for. Sleeping and laying next to her with the hope of being able to suppress his need to hold her tightly in his arms and to calm his racing heart. But sadly she only knew about his wish of just being allowed to sleep next to her. Carefully she went through his hair to help him sleep when he took her wrist and held her back from making any other move. "Woman, your annoying. Let me sleep in peace."

Serena was hurt and felt her heart aching more than any other day but she said nothing else beside apologising and taking her hand back. "Good night cap."

She slowly turned around with now her back facing the sleepy big figure of the man beside her. Out of all the men around the world her heart chose to love him. A reckless and unpredictable man. A man that does not hesitate to kill and destroy when he wanted or needed to. She, a woman with a loving and sweet personality. A woman who probably could marry a king or a Prince ended up loving a pirate, a criminal hated and feared by any person with a sense of sanity. I should have stayed with my father and never accepted this mission Sabo gave me. A tear fell down her cheek when she heard the man, who owned her heart and soul without even knowing, lightly snore.

And just like that another night passes for the two lovesick pirates without them knowing that their feelings were actually returned.

[richincolor]

Interview with Axie Oh

We’re excited to feature an interview with Axie Oh today. It’s release day for her latest novel, XOXO.

Cello prodigy Jenny has one goal: to get into a prestigious music conservatory. When she meets mysterious, handsome Jaewoo in her uncle’s Los Angeles karaoke bar, it’s clear he’s the kind of boy who would uproot her careful plans. But in a moment of spontaneity, she allows him to pull her out of her comfort zone for one unforgettable night of adventure…before he disappears without a word.

Three months later, when Jenny and her mother arrive in South Korea to take care of her ailing grandmother, she’s shocked to discover that Jaewoo is a student at the same elite arts academy where she’s enrolled for the semester. And he’s not just any student. He’s a member of one of the biggest K-pop bands in the world—and he’s strictly forbidden from dating.

When a relationship means throwing Jenny’s life off the path she’s spent years mapping out, she’ll have to decide once and for all just how much she’s willing to risk for love.

*There will be several online events to help celebrate release week and you can find out more about those here.

Congratulations and happy release day. Thanks so much for taking the time to share a little bit about your writing. I just re-read XOXO and it was even more fun the second time through. I had so many smiles and plenty of laughter. I also had to find and listen to a few songs along the way as music is such a big part of the story.

Axie: Ah, I love that!

Jenny is clearly a music lover–though K-pop isn’t exactly at the top of her playlists. Has music and/or K-pop always been important in your life?

Axie: It has! My mother, who immigrated to the US when she was in high school, listened to Korean music—though I’m not sure if that would be considered K-pop at the time, and so did my older brother. In elementary school, I was into 1st generation K-pop groups like Fin.K.L and Shinhwa, then in middle school I was obsessed with Super Junior, and finally in high school and college, my favorite groups were Big Bang and Exo, among so many others. BTS debuted in 2013 right after I graduated from college, and I was a fan of theirs from the beginning!

Is there a K-pop song you’re loving right now or a K-pop group you think people should listen to immediately?

Axie: Right now I’m really into TXT and ENHYPEN’s music. If you like BTS, you should give them a listen! See the below question for what songs I think you should listen to immediately!

I’ve seen playlists for Rebel Seoul and Rogue Heart. Do you make one for all of your novels?

Axie: I do! I make playlists after each book I write as something fun for myself and they also provide some nice extra content for readers. I recently shared my playlist for XOXO, which I spent months on—it’s a K-pop book so I really wanted to showcase a variety of artists, and curate it well with songs that fit the book’s mood and tone. I even attempted to match each song to a chapter, so there are 40 songs on the playlist! You can check out the Spotify playlist here.

Do you feel like you are finished with the characters in XOXO or is there a possible follow-up?

Axie: I wrote XOXO as a standalone, but if my publisher came knocking, I wouldn’t say no!

What did you like about going from writing sci-fi books to writing a contemporary romance?

Axie: I liked exploring a completely new genre with so many fun, familiar tropes. And XOXO in particular is a very light-hearted and happy book, much different than my moody, atmospheric sci-fi series. Though there *is* worldbuilding involved in writing a contemporary, it’s not as intense as a sci-fi novel, so that was also nice for me!

And I see your next publication The Girl Who Fell Beneath the Sea is a fantasy re-telling. Are there things about writing a fantasy that you’ve appreciated?

Axie: Fantasy as a genre is actually my first love, and retellings my favorite subgenre of fantasy. I love how in fantasy you can explore new worlds, and there are no limits to one’s imagination.

No matter the genre, what do you love about writing and what can be a challenge?

Axie: As a generally private person, I love how through writing I can share parts of myself with others. I feel like I express myself best through fiction. I also definitely don’t feel like I create in a vacuum, but in conversation with others. What I mean by this is that I’m inspired by other forms of media when creating my own stories. For example, XOXO is inspired by my love of K-dramas, the Rebel Seoul series is a love letter to mecha anime, and The Girl Who Fell Beneath the Sea is my addition to the YA retelling subgenre of books, like those written by Robin McKinley and Diana Wynne Jones.

As for challenges, there are so many—difficult revisions, bad writing days, comparing myself to other writers—but at the end of the day, the need to express myself through writing is most important to me than all the rest combined.

What are your most anticipated reads that haven’t been published yet?

Axie: I blurbed a few books that I’m very excited about! Nafiza Azad’s sophomore novel THE WILD ONES releases next month and it’s absolutely stunning. If you liked XOXO, and were curious what it’s like to be a non-Korean idol in the K-pop world—in this case, Chinese American—then check out Alexandra Leigh Young’s IDOL GOSSIP, out in September. And lastly, Julie Abe’s YA contemporary debut, THE CHARMED LIST, is as charming as it sounds, about two childhood best friends to enemies to lovers who go on a road trip together—they also happen to wield magic! This one isn’t out until Summer 2022.

We’re looking forward to seeing XOXO out in the world soon and having a group discussion here on the blog about it too! Thanks again.

Axie: Thank you for having me!! This interview was so much fun ☺

Axie Oh is a first generation Korean American, born in NYC and raised in New Jersey. She studied Korean history and creative writing as an undergrad at the University of California – San Diego and holds an MFA from Lesley University in Writing for Young People. Her passions include K-pop, anime, stationery supplies, and milk tea. She currently resides in Las Vegas, Nevada with her puppy, Toro.

You can find her on her website and on Goodreads, Twitter, Tumblr, Pinterest, and Instagram.

[meyeselph]

Gwenpool: Desperate Misanthrope's Confused Angst

Showtime

Ms. Pool woke up in a familiar room. Not in Krakoa - there are no mutants around. This isn’t a story about that. Look, honestly, without an actual Gwenpool series and the constant breaks in her comics appearance I can’t even begin to give a fuck. I cancelled my marvel universe subbie. I might get back to my stories but single issues are iffy. I read fast and don’t pore over the artwork. So I get 10 minutes of entertainment for….FIVE DOLLARS? When did this happen? Jeezus.

Who even reads comics anymore?

Anyway, long story short, Gwen got out of bed and recognized the room as her old one from the “old times.” The dark times. The ‘not running around in pink and white outfits and shooting people’ times. She panicked (Been there. It is what it is though). The only way out of trauma is through.

She dressed in old clothes, immediately hit by old smells, she couldn’t help but cry. Was it all a dream? Have I gone insane (again)? All the usual self doubts cropped up. I mean, really, if you think this kind of thing didn’t pass through her mind regularly why don’t you transport yourself to a comic book universe?

Oh, you can’t?

Oh. It isn’t actually possible for you and I’m stupid for suggesting it. So, yeah. If it actually happened and you kept that attitude then the logical assumption for a normie is a mental breakdown. Trick for Gwen, though, is it's probably always been both real and her being nuts.

So she goes downstairs to the kitchen to figure out why this is happening and Evil Gwen is having cereal. Let's say cocoa puffs. I’ve been thinking about those recently. You ever remember cereal as something worth cherishing. Not as just bullshit that TV convinced you to want? God damn, now I want Cookie Crisp. Cookie Crisp wasn’t even ever that good. Why do I want Cookie Crisp?

So also sitting around the table were the faceless versions of her father, mother, and her brother. Just chilling. No BD. Seen Eternal Sunshine of The Spotless Mind?

Yes, I know that references aren’t jokes - fuck you, I’m painting a picture and I CAN’T PAINT, THAT’S WHY THIS ISN’T A COMIC. Fucks sake. Anyway. So, Gwen is so creeped out that she just sits her butt down by Evil Gwen as if she’s the comforting presence here.

Her name’s too long. Let’s call Evil Gwen uh…….Gren. You know, like Grendel from Beowulf. I haven’t actually read Beowulf and this is all a little confusing but I'm solving problems here. Writing this is harder for me than you would think so it’s best to keep things flowing off the cuff. That’s the Gwenpool™ style anyway, isn’t it? Are you laughing yet? IMPROV. “YES AND” MY SHIT, READER!

“So, you ever really look into the retconned past thing, hun?” Gren said, moving her tongue around her food. Being gross as an attempt to be properly evil. She swallowed before continuing. “This is all I could really put together on short notice but i’m pretty sure what the future people created, all that stuff to try and trick you, it was all bullshit.”

“What do you mean? Are you trying to convince me to go all psycho like you again?” Gwen asked, exasperated, realizing she was now back in the whole ‘fuck with Gwen to decide her fate’ song and dance routine from the end of her first arc.

“Nah, not really.” Gren said. A hammer appeared in her hands out of nowhere and Gren swung it into their fake father’s head, snapping his neck..

“DAD!” Gwen instinctively cried as she saw her father’s body slump to the floor. Gren slapped Gwen’s face. “That’s it,” Gren said, “this is what the trick was.This is a poorly created character in a fictional story. Meant to manipulate you into attaching your concept of “father” to it. Even his finished version in the original comics run wasn’t THAT well drawn. Your dad read like a boomer’s idea of a responsible parent. You were going through a mental crisis and struggling to find purpose in life and his genius idea was get a shitty low paying job and suck it up?”

Gren turned to their brother, pushed his face to the table and smashed the back of his skull. . “Brother dearest, too. Going right along with their victim blaming. He gaslighted you as if what you were going through was just you being ‘irresponsible.’ Bitch, people working a minimum wage job aren’t somehow not impoverished and miserable because they get some of that ‘honest work’ that folks keep badgering on about. Minimum wage work is occupied by many physically and mentally disabled people held hostage; they’re people society only pretends to care about. Then they turn it all into you acting like some world ending threat. No questions about what drove you to the edge in the first place. You are just ‘unstable,’ so you’re just a problem to be solved. They say, ‘Let’s all solve this girl being upset and on edge by ruining her concept of self, reality, and memory.’ Brilliant!”

Gwen barely processed this in horror. Gren then slit the poor facsimile of their mother’s throat while continuing to rant, “You see people die all the time, Gwen. Half of the time you are doing the killing. You do it because it’s in a story. In a story the NPCs don’t matter and, after all, your original schtick in the story was to be kill-crazy. The non-marketable characters can be replaced or retconned at the stroke of the artist’s pen.” Gren leans forward as she pulls a Gwenpool mask over Gwens face. “Then the writers convince you that you have some middle class milk toast family and you take abuse and subsume your emotional needs because the problem MUST be you. You aren’t ‘normal’ so you have to be fixed.”

Gwen wiped her eyes over the mask and sighed. A bit of fire filled her gut as she stared at Gren. “So fucking what? You want me to go on a killing spree and be a big time villain to get myself a nice, shiny permanent big bad status? That’s how I stay around right? Just build my legacy on bodies?”

Gren scoffed “You already lost that fight, girly. Where do you think we are? Because this ain’t Marvel Comics.”

Confused, Gwen blinked and tried reaching for the page margins, finding nothing. Wait….why was everything on this page so ill defined and undetailed? Wait? Why was the story in kinda wobbly third person past tense?

Gwen sighed “Oh. I’m in a fanfic. I guess the publishing fight is for another day eh?”

“My advice, personally,” Gren stated, “is that you consider the lobster.”

“Wait, what the fuck?”

Gren pulled aside the kitchen curtains revealing the face of a giant lobster, its claws tapping on the glass. The lobster muttering gutterally about personal responsibility.

“Because there’s a couple thousand giant lobsters outside that would like to claw you until you read their book.”

--

Scared of Girls

On the rooftop, Gren shoved a high powered rifle into Gwen’s hands while she handled the close range threats. So, this conversation they’re about to have is important. Sniping puts Gwen into a sort of zen space, so that’s a better task to keep her focused, after all.

“So, what? You wanted me to internalize that my “origin story” is bullshit? Okay, what does that accomplish, then?” Gwen asked in a bit of a deadpan. She was so tired today. Not really feeling her happy go lucky energy. More like a “happy go fucky” energy. It was hard to always be on a knife's edge. Still the rifle’s kick into her shoulder was satisfying as she blew through two of the creepy looking lobsters at once. “Also, why the lobsters?”

Gren considered this. “Okay, last question first, I had to experiment a lot and do a lot of research to construct this place for your learning and healing in fanfic form....These buddies are a failed experiment of mine that I repurposed because the fic needed more action. Isn’t that right, giant enemy crap?” As she peppers the nearest goon with a hail of shotgun pellets the entire throng of them burst out, sharply muttering about divine symbols.

“As for what I'm trying to teach you, it’s that you aren’t reaching your potential.” Gren grumpily huffed.

“Duh,” Gwen reloads, “I mean you just killed a mannequin version of the voice in my head that says that to me every day.” one of those crustaceans talks about feminine symbolism while she decides on her next target.

“Not like fake daddy’s ‘Be a responsible member of society by paying your taxes’ type of potential. I mean your creative and emotional potential.” Gren flipped off the slavering throng of monsters, noticing they were starting to keep their distance from the roof.

“I never did finish that fanfic idea I had.” Gwen mused.

“God, don’t mention that,” Gren thrusts a finger at Gwenpool. “Not that I don’t respect fanfic, but when comic book writers make you and Kamala squee about fanfiction to try and relate to “the kids” it comes across as so condescending.”

“Really? I mean…..I'm sure it’s meant as support for the concept?”

“Most fucking superhero comics are just legalized fanfiction! The people who created the characters are either long gone or working on someone else’s characters! They just think they are so much better because they got fucking paid. They can’t imagine themselves as on the same playing field as fanficcers even though most of them have the same level of connection to the roots of the work as anyone else.” Gren groused loudly as she seemed to pull Reed Richards out of nowhere.

Confused, Reed looked around until his eyes met Gwen’s.“Oh great, you again.” Reed groaned as he turned to survey the piles of lobster gibs while Gwen cheered the lobster forces’ retreat with a resounding “EDF, EDF!”. The scattered creatures skittered amongst the bland scenery. It looked like a suburban neighborhood but someone forgot to color in the sky….or write that the sky had color. A castle hung out in the distance breaking up the generic normalcy and lay cloaked in shadow despite being surrounded by an endless white void.

“And…..black….you?” Reed pointed to Gren, raising an eyebrow.

“Yeah, I have an evil future self….well I stopped that future so it’s an….evil...alternate timeline self?” Gwen said with a nervous chuckle, abandoning the kill quest for the minute and rested her rifle on the roof.

“Ah. Yeah I’ve been down that road. It’s a rather common occurrence. Multiverse being what it is.” Reed laughed heartily while putting his hands on his hips.

“I’m not sure I’m evil, honestly,” Gren interjected. “I think I’m just really fucking grumpy and I’m slightly more gung-ho on the homicide. Considering Gwen’s already one of the more kill crazy characters on the roster it’s not that much of a distinction.” Gren flipped her cape. “My main distinction is I don’t like that meme from The Incredibles! You can just make it so the cape detaches automatically when it’s pulled hard enough!”

“You could still have it tangled up around your face.” Reed pointed out in his standard know-it-all fashion.

“Don’t make me go into fuck wife mode, stretch.” Gren spat. “Okay, anyway, so I brought him here to illustrate a point. Reed. Explain particle physics to me as a laymen.”

“Huh...i’m not sure why but okay. Particle physics (also known as high energy physics) is a branch of physics that studies the nature of the particles that constitute matter and radiation. Although the word particle can refer to various types of very small objects (e.g. protons, gas particles, or even household dust), particle physics usually investigates the irreducibly smallest detectable particles and the fundamental interactions necessary to explain their behaviour. In current understanding, these elementary particles are excitations of the quantum fields that also govern their interactions. The currently dominant theory explaining these fundamental particles and fields, along with their dynamics, is called the Standard Model. Thus, modern particle physics generally investigates the Standard Model and its various possible extensions, e.g. to the newest "known" particle, the Higgs boson, or even to the oldest known force field, gravity.” Reed rattled this off rather mechanically.

Gren then took out her phone and showed Gwen the Wikipedia article on “Particle Physics,” which is naturally the same words that Reed had regurgitated above, just without any formatting and, again, on a phone.

“Reed can’t be a genius in any subject unless he’s written by a genius in that subject. That’s how stories work. Everyone is limited by the understanding and capabilities of the writer. Same with your origin story and all the people you’ve interacted with. If you are as ‘meta’ as you think you are then you have to realize that you aren’t actually talking to people. You are talking to the writer. Dr. Strange didn’t rewrite your existence to be a part of the Marvel Universe. As far as most of Marvel continuity goes Dr. Strange was never there and doesn’t know or care about his MCU casting…..Hey Reed, buzz off please before the conversation pivots to why you haven’t cured all known diseases.”

Reed looked a little surprised but then pulled out a teleportation device (of course he has one) and blipped away with a shrug.

“How awkward is that going to be when he enters the MCU after Kamala is already introduced with a very similar power set?” Gwen chuckled.

“Keep up the way you’ve been going and you’ll never see it. I’m not exactly expecting a young blonde girl casting call for Deadpool 3 and that’s your best bet.” Gren snarked. Gwen winced with a sigh.

“I don’t get what I'm doing wrong. I have a fanbase comparable to some of the characters that have already shown up but I can’t even get comics written about me most of the time. An MCU push seems unlikely. They would literally have to deal with completely recontextualizing my powers and gimmick”

“Let’s ask her what you should do.” Gren motioned her way to the suddenly appearing long hair future Gwen, looming over them like The Attack of the 50 foot Woman for some reason. Dwarfing the roof they are on. Let’s call her BIGwen!

--

Gold Guns Girls

As BIGwen acclimated to her surroundings she stubbed her toe on a car, dramatically flipping it so that it took out a few more lobsters before caving in a nearby house. The lamentations about clean rooms soaring as the remaining couple dozen of them attempt to clean up some of the bodies of their fallen kin. The large and sort-of-in-charge Gwen hissed in pain and adjusted her boot. Getting her balance as best as possible she muttered curses that traveled rather well considering the lung capacity of a giant.

“You know,” Gren started, “I wasn’t expecting much from our previous uses of the ‘make her big for emphasis’ trick, but it really does only work as a vague ghostly background element. I didn’t just want it to be ‘oh, here's a third Gwen for the conversation, though. Would lack umph.”

“ Yeah, I get it, but staring at my own giant taint is unsettling.” Gwen muttered.

“I’d still, hit it.” Gren grinned, then immediately got punched in the arm. “OWWW! Look, I’m the evil one here and we’re in a fanfic. I’m allowed to make internet fetish jokes.”

“And I’m allowed to hit you for it.”.

“Dirty lampshading goody two shoes. Don’t act like half your fanbase isn’t thirsty. It’s “insert current year argument”, all art is sexy to someone.” Gren complained back,rubbing her arm before hopping off the roof. Gwen followed while listening as patiently as she could considering how many changes in topic her evil-caped self is going through to get to her point. “This chick is the reason you’ve been on the path of good girl. Some vague idea that in the future everything will work out for the best. HEY, DOWN HERE, BIG SHOW!” Gren waved at BIGwen and she looked down curiously.

“Yeah what??” BIGwen responded in a booming and agitated tone. Honestly, being in this fic made every version of Gwen a little grumpy.

“How’s she supposed to be a popular hero that makes it into the MCU and has a stable publication history?” Gren asked.

“Fuck if I know.” Came BIGwen’s response. “Have you tried growing your hair out?”

“Rub it in,” Gwen muttered under her breath, “I’m not gonna lie, I’m kind of depressed now.” Gwen said as she sat on an abandoned car.

Gren hopped on the roof of the car, patting Gwen’s shoulder before squatting with enough force to flex the car’s shocks like a rocking chair just to amuse herself. “Future “good” Gwen wasn’t an actual plot point, it was a call to action to the fans to make fanfic like this and support the character outside of the actual Canon. Chris didn’t trust that Marvel would treat the character right. That, and your obsession with getting a new book, are both the writer’s attempt to turn a marketing tactic into fan engagement. If you want to be real then that makes the fans want you to be real even more, too.”

Gwen sighs heavily and leans her chin on one hand. “I mean...the time traveling through the life of an NPC fan complete with a Never Ending Story reference was a bit sappy even by the standard we sometimes set...damn it it really was just kind of a fan manipulation trick wasn’t it?”

BIGwen Sat down on the street next to them and crossed her legs. “Hey, little me. Don’t get too down. I mean it worked for the most part. You have a healthy cult following. Characters have survived on less and there are worse things to be known for then as a fan first character”

“But I have to fight for attention all the damn time, though. It’s so easy for Wade with his fucking meme bullshit. He even gets runoff enthusiasm from me. Jeff the land shark is all over Oldpool online” Gwen felt rather heavy and tired all of a sudden. Marvel editorial forcing a gun to your head is not a fun way to be.

“All that fight is hell on the fanbase too.” Gren sighed. “Advocating for shit, getting crumbs and being expected to accept it while Disney lavishes all the attention based on some bullshit numbers game. Even if you make it into the MCU will it be a Batroc style cameo with obligatory ‘killed off in case we don’t feel like paying the actor again later.’ Will it be an emotionally rounded character or an ambush bug style joke? The thing is. You're Not the one fighting and you never were.”

“The fuck do you mean?”

“This version of her doesn’t know?” BIGwen whimpered.

“You aren’t real, Gwen.”

--

Head Like a Haunted House

“No….we aren’t having this conversation. Fuck you fuck you i’m not a fucking Nihlist and i’m not going to do this right now.” Gwen said as she scrambled off of the car and pulled out some guns. BIGwen then picked her up off the ground.

“You need to hear this, Gwen,” BIGwen boomed. “The gimmick has run its course. It’s fucking with your canon. You’re never going to be a marketable character keeping up a half fourth-wall Kayfabe”

Gren climbed onto BIGwen’s Shoulders and perched over Gwen all menacing like. “You need to listen. I’ve been trying to ease you into this. Making things more meta slowly until you were ready but it was never going to be easy.”

One of Gwen’s guns was fired from it’s holster and pierced one of BIGwen’s fingers. BIGwen screamed and her grip loosened. Soon Gwen was on the move running up her arm and firing at Gren, who dodged like the nimble and cute badass she is. “Don’t do this Gwen. Just because it doesn’t matter to the comic version of you doesn’t mean it doesn’t matter.”

“I’m a real person god damn it! I read the comics out there! I came in! That’s why I know shit I shouldn't know. That’s what I am! THAT’S ALL I AM!” Gwen shrieked as she pulled out a sword from hammer-space and decapitated BIGwen. Suddenly a mess of colored streamers and a pile of Mickey Mouse merch tumbled out. Look, I am busy right now. Gwen is still slashing at my ass. I'm not going to explain it.

For some reason now the remaining lobsters were helping Gren. For Gwen’s own good you understand. This is proof that I’m right for some reason.

Gwen pulled out a revolver, firing pumpkin sized holes in lobsters who were still wailing about self actualization. She fully planned on shoving a sword up her evil self’s ass and getting rid of this doppelganger shit for good. Which is total bullshit by the way. She totally just cut off Gren’s leg because what the fuck you mean I’m not real? I’m going to be real all over your corpse.

Gren didn’t really think that was even a good comeback and also thought you should probably say it instead of meta willing the smack talk into existence, otherwise this fanfic is going to read like trash. Also, Gren’s leg wasn’t actually cut off. In a puff of smoke it is revealed that the cut off leg is a log and her leg is fine. Gren is a ninja now, believe it.

Gwen proceeded to do a sick ass CQC judo throw on Gren and then grab her cape and wrap it around her face like Reed suggested. Callbacks for the win! Callbacks to Checkov’s gun ideas always lead to victory in fights! She then totally shot at her and such.

But the bullet was caught by the cape because the cape was a symbiote! That’s right Gren is also GRENOM!...boy that sounds stupid. Anywho, the cape was no longer around her face and the fight continued and Gren now ALSO had extra powers and special wizard-symbiote armor (that would only show up in the MCU version if Marvel finally got the Sony characters back). The meta powers work like shit in text but this would be really good in CGI or animation if Marvel wanted to adapt this fic and give the writer lots of money. Gren still has more experience with them, though, and Gwen can’t really just kill her way out of this fic so she has to just let the story play out.

…...eh?....oh Gwen’s crying. I love/am you girl but we gotta work on the crying. Fucks sake this is harder than I thought. I’m depressed now too. Well I'll try to get the writing back on track so you guys can see what is going on. Even the lobsters are minding their manners now. Chill vibes, guys.

“The marvel character page for Gwenpool says, and I quote:

Gwenpool arrived in the Marvel Universe from the “real world,” but has wasted no time in making the most of her time in her fictional universe. Using her knowledge of comics to her advantage, Gwenpool causes and solves problems for her fellow heroes.”

Gren drags a lobster corpse slowly toward Gwen and sits on its tail as she talks to her. Taking her time to really scrape the lobster against the ground, smearing the gore on the pavement. Not that it was heavy for her or anything. Totally still has that symbiote, which would make moving it easy. Totally wasn’t a detail added in the second revision of the fic slightly before the lobsters were added.

“The words “Real world” are in quotation marks in that wiki. Real people don’t make it into comics because fiction isn’t real. Half of your versions barely make use of the ‘real person’ gimmick because it’s too meta by half and not every writer wants to waste time justifying it. So they just treat it like Deadpool’s medium awareness. Which it mostly is.”

“I really am just a fucking rip off distaff character.” Gwen moans. “Just a Gwen combined with a Pool. I’m worse than the Batman who laughs. I never mattered because I was never real”

“Fuck don’t say that. You were made with love and care by a team of creators who took a weird offshoot idea and built out a compelling metafiction idea and a likeable protagonist off of it. They just didn’t have the time and foresight to go far enough.” Gren sighed.

“Far enough?” Gwen sniffed as she was pulled up to her feet and dragged toward one of the big castles. As they walked Gren kicked along a Mickey Mouse doll that had rolled out of BIGwen’s severed head. Every time it bounced it cheerfully said ‘hahah. I love you!’

“Too much haha, not enough trauma. You’re not just a joke character.” Gren said as she kicked the Mickey doll into the big front door of the castle. The shadowy thing of course lighting up and being all fantasy and shit as the door opened.

“Well I did end both of my comic runs pretty mopey.”

“Damn right you did. When the jokes run thin they run to your real bread and butter. You’re an empathy machine.” As Gren shoves Gwen through the gate they are swallowed up in the castle, going dark again. “Let’s getcha sad clown on.”

--

Never there

“See, what evil me should have been telling you about in the original run is how to find meaning and purpose when technically nothing means anything. Comic book characters live in a world without real death and suffering. It’s all a puppet show version of real pain and real emotion meant to bring that out of an audience.” Gren opined as they walked through a black void to a couch floating in a nothing area lit only by the static of an old TV.

“Can we turn on a light?” Gwen asked as she sat on the couch. Gren sat on another recliner that suddenly appeared and put her feet up.

“Fuck off. Ambiance is a thing. We aren’t having a ‘lights on with something fun on the TV’ conversation. So look, I am not really ‘evil gwen.’ I’m half an author insert and half a plot device. If we are talking about the reality of the story you are basically talking to yourself. I am speaking about the things you don’t want to admit to yourself. You know, you’ve seen this kind of story sorta... right?” Gren picked up the remote and frustratedly changed channels between a bunch of vaguely illustrative footage on the TV, not finding anything that worked. A lot of black and white footage of trains for some reason. Just what comes to mind when I think of documentary footage? Weird.

“I am not sure how to illustrate this shit visually and this is a text story anyway so I would have to explain the illustration,” Gren griped.

“I basically get it. It’s not that uncommon a trope.” Gwen nodded.

“Because of the level of meta we are on right now we have to really acknowledge that you are basically an author insert, too. I mean, to a certain extent every version of you is more the writer that is working with your character at the time than a set character.” Gren said as she settled on a visual of Gwen being pushed out the window by her own narration text in the original comic run. When all else fails, resort to footage from the last story. That way people can look it up online!

“Right here is where the character crystallized in the mind of the author of the current fic we are in. A vague suicide metaphor wrapped up in the flavor of self destructive escapism. Your parents in the story thought it was a suicide attempt on at least some level. This is serious business. Not just a girl who doesn’t like work and can’t finish her fanfic. In this comic you are built on this understanding. The writer of this fic has ADHD and autism. So his version of you more or less has it, too. Writers bring themselves with them into their work.”

Gwen nods and takes a deep breath. “I….I can feel it. Like the world is closing around you. You aren’t built for anything that anyone wants from you. The one thing you really believe in, the one thing that really defines you, the stories in your head…..it’s just not enough.

You can’t trust you’ll ever make it with writing because you can barely write. You barely have the energy to do anything but wish that you weren’t you. What if someone actually listened? Actually believed in you and whisked you away somewhere else where the world would fit your needs? What if you were someplace you could be someone else, someone strong and confident?”

“Yeah. Like a funny anti hero in a comic for instance.” Gren nodded. “But the original comics sort of left the theme on the table. They were captured by the misconception of Gwen as the problem and not a person who needed help. All that desperation that real fans of the character might feel just bundled up into love for this character that really ‘gets’ them but Marvel doesn’t ‘get’ the character. They won't use her. They won’t go past vaguely gesturing at her mental issues and moving on. They saved the angst for Wandavision.” Gren scoffs.

“I mean the show was okay but they literally have a character built entirely on the theme of escapism and trauma. One that’s custom built for mind-screw visuals and reality bending plots and they think she’s just a lazy fangirl who really likes guns that they can sit beside Deadpool sometimes and stick in the X-Men’s bloated background character roster when they don’t need her.”

Gren leads Gwen off the couch and deeper into the void where a door to a bedroom waits. A room like her own, absolutely slopping over with old toys of comic book characters. An unclean messy space in a run-down house that smells faintly of cigarette smoke. Huddled in bed, reading an 80s era X-men comic with a flashlight, is a 12 year old Gwen.

“This is never going to be canon but this is the version of Gwen in this fic. She can’t stop crying at school. Things that shouldn’t be hard are so hard and she can’t explain why. Everyone says she’s making excuses. Meanwhile her mother is fucked out of her mind on pain killers and her step father killed himself last year ‘cleaning his gun’ while drunk. You know exactly what is on her mind right now?” Gren says as she gestures at the girl.

“I wish the superheroes would save me from this.”

“They won’t. They can’t. They were never meant to.” Gren Slams the door loudly on the scene.

“That is the emotional core of Gwenpool in this fic. The desperation that so many of the fans down here in the fucking muck of the real world feel. Poor and emotionally unfulfilled. Confused and vulnerable. If Disney and Marvel gave two fucking shits about people like that they wouldn’t waste as many stories as they do. They wouldn’t just use untold wealth to make expensive escapist stories with the military. Their gestures toward progressive ideas that they occasionally make in their stories would be THE ENTIRE POINT of their stories and the actual thing they used that money for instead of lobbying the government to keep Mickey Mouse out of the public domain.

“Disney has the power yet they save a fucking miniscule fraction of who they could. Saving people doesn’t make money.”

--

When I Get To The Green Building

Gren stormed through the void. The scene disintegrated around her as Gwen followed. Both now in a bit of a sour mood but with newfound determination.

“Come to think of it. Why is the fucking Hulk getting to fight for social justice in the comics? Why are they making a gay alternate universe Captain America? Why are they grasping at straws so hard to find characters that get to advocate and I am just sitting on a fucking island being grumpy?” Gwen groused. “I’m pretty sure I’m pansexual….at least in this fic. I could advocate for a bunch of shit at once.”

“You have a youth fanbase, a unique story and you technically aren’t an alternate universe version of fucking anything no matter how many people still think you are a Stacey. They made a fucking ‘for the fans’ character and then neglected it. Presumably because some fucking money making metric didn’t pan out despite the comics just being an MCU test kitchen and IP farm anyway.”

“You’re a fucking check mark on a ledger. I don’t even know if anyone technically created Gwenpool as a whole and Disney/Marvel can give the character to whoever they want to do whatever they want completely separate from what the fanbase wants and needs because she isn’t established. The IP landlords have spoken. The fans haven’t risen to enough ‘buy my merch’ calls to action to invest more resources. So tease endlessly until that changes.”

“Gah. Now I'm actually as pissed as you are.” Gwen said as she started fiddling with her guns. “Who do I kill?”

“We can’t do shit. You’re not even a character at this point. You are a meme for an underused character.” Gren smirked all evil like. “See but that’s it. You aren’t just a meme. You’re a MEME.”

“Uhm...I don't follow.”

“Like the concept of Justice. Gwenpool is an idea. Defined entirely by how people who engage with the idea choose to engage with it. The IP law means Disney owns Gwenpool but they don’t own how Gwenpool is perceived. Just like we as a people decide what justice is through popular consent we also decide what Gwenpool is. You see they made a character for the fans…..in my opinion that means the fans can do as they like with it even if it makes Disney uncomfortable.”

“I mean they can’t even stop porn of their characters just because of the sheer volume of the problem. I suppose people could do whatever.” Gwen nodded.

“Exactly. So the fans should just fucking Occupy Gwenpool!” Gren said as she flipped her cape dramatically with a mad smile on her face. That’s right. She was Dirtbag Leftist Gwen all along!

“Squat on that IP. Make Gwenpool a mental health advocate. Make her an LGBTQ activist. Make her fight for social and financial justice so hard that Bruce Banner looks like a poser. Make her talk shit about politicians who put their career ahead of the people. Do all the shit that makes the comicsgate crowd sad. Keep politics in our stories! Rally around that pink and white ass so hard they have to notice and then tie it all to the fact that Disney has great power and with great power they take no responsibility for how shitty the world is.”

“ If they are going to fuck Gwenpool fans they gotta learn Gwenpool fans fuck back. We have already proven we can make all kinds of cool shit. Let’s get serious and make more, harder, faster! Get a hashtag or some shit. They can't DMCA all of us! GWEN IS OURS WE JUST HAVE TO REACH OUT AND TAKE IT. Then they either respect the character and her fans or they just hit a PR disaster.”

“Marvel/Disney neglects fan focused cult character themed protest movements. Proves they are only progressive when it makes them money. They’re so worried about Mickey ending up in the public domain? We’re the public domain! After our entire lives stannin their characters and buyin their merch building them from an animation house into a juggernaut they are just another weight on top of the boot on our necks. They have to take responsibility!” At this point Gren is pretty much ranting maniacally and neglecting the actual writing of the story so this is Gwen taking over to wrap up.

Guys I may not be ‘the real Gwen’ but really, isn’t the version of Gwen that actually came from the real world all of us? Isn’t Gwenpool really the Gwens we made along the way? We could easily bring a little heroism and chaos to the real world (at least to the internet) if we really tried. Put the fear of God into some IP landlords and fight for some cool people that society is screwing over, too.

Prove that even in the fandom abyss people aren’t as powerless as they seem. Use that internet comic fan mobbing for something besides giving Zack more money. Disney is gearing up for their next IP fight for Mickey in 2024. Seems like a fine time for IP themed protests. For now we just need to spread the word that our needs are more important than their profits.

It’s been real. It’s been long. It’s been a real long time coming…..

But I finally finished my fanfic.

See ya, true believers.

[jeannereames]

Hi, Dr. Reames! I just read your take on Song of Achilles and it got me thinking. Do you think there might be a general issue with the way women are written in mlm stories in general? Because I don't think it's the first time I've seen something like this happen.

And my next question is, could you delve further into this thing you mention about modern female authors writing women? How could we, beginner female writers, avoid falling into this awful representations of women in our writing?

Thank you for your time!

[It took a while to finish this because I wrote, re-wrote, and re-wrote it. Still not sure I like it, but I need to let it go. It could be 3xs as long.]

I’ll begin with the second half of the question, because it’s simpler. How do we, as women authors, avoid writing women in misogynistic ways?

Let me reframe that as how can we, as female authors, write negative (even quite nasty) female characters without falling into misogynistic tropes? Also, how can we write unsympathetic, but not necessarily “bad” female characters, without it turning misogynistic?

Because people are people, not genders, not all women are good, nor all men bad. Most of us are a mix. If we should avoid assuming powerful women are all bitches, by the same token, some women are bitches (powerful or not).

ALL good characterization comes down to MOTIVE. And careful characterization of minority characters involves fair REPRESENTATION. (Yes, women are a minority even if we’re 51% of the population.)

The question ANY author must ask: why am I making this female character a bitch? How does this characterization serve the larger plot and/or characterization? WHY is she acting this way?

Keep characters complex, even the “bad guys.” Should we choose to make a minority character a “bad guy,” we need to have a counter example—a real counter, not just a token who pops in briefly, then disappears. Yeah, maybe in an ideal world we could just let our characters “be,” but this isn’t an ideal world. Authors do have an audience. I’m a lot less inclined to assume stereotyping when we have various minority characters with different characterizations.

By the same token, however, don’t throw a novel against the wall if the first minority character is negative. Read further to decide if it’s a pattern. I’ve encountered reviews that slammed an author for stereotyping without the reader having finished the book. I’m thinking, “Uh…if you’d read fifty more pages….” Novels have a developmental arc. And if you’ve got a series, that, too, has a developmental arc. One can’t reach a conclusion about an author’s ultimate presentation/themes until having finished the book, or series.*

Returning to the first question, the appearance of misogyny depends not only on the author, but also on when she wrote, even why she’s writing. Authors who are concerned with matters such as theme and message are far more likely to think about such things than those who write for their own entertainment and that of others, which is more typical of Romance.

On average, Romance writers are a professionalized bunch. They have national and regional chapters of the Romance Writers of America (RWA), newsletters and workshops that discuss such matters as building plot tension, character dilemmas, show don’t tell, research tactics, etc. Yet until somewhat recently (early/mid 2010s), and a series of crises across several genres (not just Romance), treatment of minority groups hadn’t been in their cross-hairs. Now it is, with Romance publishers (and publishing houses more generally) picking up “sensitivity readers” in addition to the other editors who look at a book before its publication.

Yet sensitivity readers are hired to be sure lines like “chocolate love monkey” do not show up in a published novel. Yes, that really was used as an endearment for a black man in an M/M Romance, which (deservedly) got not just the author but the publishing house in all sorts of hot water. Yet misogyny, especially more subtle misogyny in the way of tropes, is rarely on the radar.

I should add that I wouldn’t categorize The Song of Achilles as an M/M historical Romance. In fact, I’m not sure what to call novels about myths, as myths don’t exist in actual historical periods. When should we set a novel about the Iliad? The Bronze Age, when Homer said it happened, or the Greek Dark Age, which is the culture Homer actually described? They’re pretty damn different. I’d probably call The Song of Achilles an historical fantasy, especially as mythical creatures are presented as real, like centaurs and god/desses.

Back to M/M Romance: I don’t have specific publishing stats, but it should surprise no one that (like most of the Romance genre), the vast bulk of authors of M/M Romance are women, often straight and/or bi- women. The running joke seems to be, If one hot man is good, two hot men together are better. 😉 Yes, there are also trans, non-binary and lesbian authors of M/M Romance, and of course, bi- and gay men who may write under their own name or a female pseudonym, but my understanding is that straight and bi- cis-women authors outnumber all of them.

Just being a woman, or even a person in a female body, does not protect that author from misogyny. And if she’s writing for fun, she may not be thinking a lot about what her story has to “say” in its subtext and motifs, even if she may be thinking quite hard about other aspects of story construction. This can be true of other genres as well (like historical fantasy).

What I have observed for at least some women authors is the unconscious adoption of popular tropes about women. Just as racism is systemic, so is sexism. We swim in it daily, and if one isn’t consciously considering how it affects us, we can buy into it by repeating negative ideas and acting in prescribed ways because that’s what we learned growing up. If writing in a symbol-heavy genre such as mythic-driven fantasy, it can be easy to let things slip by—even if they didn’t appear in the original myth, such as making Thetis hostile to Patroklos, the classic Bitchy Mother-in-Law archetype.

I see this sort of thing as “accidental” misogyny. Women authors repeat unkind tropes without really thinking them through because it fits their romantic vision. They may resent it and get defensive if the trope is pointed out. “Don’t harsh my squee!” We can dissect why these tropes persist, and to what degree they change across generations—but that would end up as a (probably controversial) book, not a blog entry. 😊

Yet there’s also subconscious defensive misogyny, and even conscious/semi-conscious misogyny.

Much debate/discussion has ensued regarding “Queen Bee Syndrome” in the workplace and whether it’s even a thing. I think it is, but not just for bosses. I also would argue that it’s more prevalent among certain age-groups, social demographics, and professions, which complicates recognizing it.

What is Queen Bee Syndrome? Broadly, when women get ahead at the expense of their female colleagues who they perceive as rivals, particularly in male-dominated fields, hinging on the notion that There Can Be Only One (woman). It arises from systemic sexism.

Yes, someone can be a Queen Bee even with one (or two) women buddies, or while claiming to be a feminist, supporting feminist causes, or writing feminist literature. I’ve met a few. What comes out of our mouths doesn’t necessarily jive with how we behave. And ticking all the boxes isn’t necessary if you’re ticking most of them. That said, being ambitious, or just an unpleasant boss/colleague—if its equal opportunity—does not a Queen Bee make. There must be gender unequal behavior involved.

What does any of that have to do with M/M fiction?

The author sees the women characters in her novel as rivals for the male protagonists. It gets worse if the women characters have some “ownership” of the men: mothers, sisters, former girlfriends/wives/lovers. I know that may sound a bit batty. You’re thinking, Um, aren’t these characters gay or at least bi- and involved with another man, plus—they’re fictional? Doesn’t matter. Call it fantasizing, authorial displacement, or gender-flipped authorial insert. We authors (and I include myself in this) can get rather territorial about our characters. We live in their heads and they live in ours for months on end, or in many cases, years. They’re real to us. Those who aren't authors often don’t quite get that aspect of being an author. So yes, sometimes a woman author acts like a Queen Bee to her women characters. This is hardly all, or even most, but it is one cause of creeping misogyny in M/M Romance.

Let’s turn to a related problem: women who want to be honorary men. While I view this as much more pronounced in prior generations, it’s by no means disappeared. Again, it’s a function of systemic sexism, but further along the misogyny line than Queen Bees. Most Queen Bees I’ve known act/react defensively, and many are (imo) emotionally insecure. It’s largely subconscious. More, they want to be THE woman, not an honorary man.

By contrast, women who want to be honorary men seem to be at least semi-conscious of their misogyny, even if they resist calling it that. These are women who, for the most part, dislike other women, regard most of “womankind” as either a problem or worthless, and think of themselves as having risen above their gender.

And NO, this is not necessarily religious—sometimes its specifically a-religious.

“I want to be an honorary man” women absolutely should NOT be conflated with butch lesbians, gender non-conformists, or frustrated FTMs. That plays right into myths the queer community has combated for decades. There’s a big difference between expressing one’s yang or being a trans man, and a desire to escape one’s womanhood or the company of other women. “Honorary men” women aren’t necessarily queer. I want to underscore that because the concrete example I’m about to give does happen to be queer.

I’ve talked before about Mary Renault’s problematic portrayal of women in her Greek novels (albeit her earlier hospital romances don’t show it as much). Her own recorded comments make it clear that she and her partner Julie Mullard didn’t want to be associated with other lesbians, or with women much at all. She was also born in 1905, living at a time when non-conforming women struggled. If extremely active in anti-apartheid movements in South Africa, Renault and Mullard were far less enthused by the Gay Rights Movement. Renault even criticized it, although she wrote back kindly to her gay fans.

The women in Renault’s Greek novels tend to be either bitches or helpless, reflecting popular male perceptions of women: both in ancient Greece and Renault’s own day. If we might argue she’s just being realistic, that ignores the fact one can write powerful women in historical novels and still keep it attitudinally accurate. June Rachuy Brindel, born in 1919, author of Ariadne and Phaedra, didn’t have the same problem, nor did Martha Rofheart, born in 1917, with My Name is Sappho. Brindel’s Ariadne is much more sympathetic than Renault’s (in The King Must Die).

Renault typically elevates (and identifies with) the “rational” male versus the “irrational” female. This isn’t just presenting how the Greeks viewed women; it reflects who she makes the heroes and villains in her books. Overall, “good” women are the compliant ones, and the compliant women are tertiary characters.

Women in earlier eras who were exceptional had to fight multiple layers of systemic misogyny. Some did feel they had to become honorary men in order to be taken seriously. I’d submit Renault bought into that, and it (unfortunately) shows in her fiction, as much as I admire other aspects of her novels.

So I think those are the three chief reasons we see women negatively portrayed in M/M Romance (or fiction more generally), despite being written by women authors.

------------------------------------

*Yeah, yeah, sometimes it’s such 2D, shallow, stereotypical presentation that I, as a reader, can conclude this author isn’t going to get any better. Also, the publication date might give me a clue. If I’m reading something published 50 years ago, casual misogyny or racism is probably not a surprise. If I don’t feel like dealing with that, I close the book and put it away.

But I do try to give the author a chance. I may skim ahead to see if things change, or at least suggest some sort of character development. This is even more the case with a series. Some series take a loooong view, and characters alter across several novels. Our instant-gratification world has made us impatient. Although by the same token, if one has to deal with racism or sexism constantly in the real world, one may not want to have to watch it unfold in a novel—even if it’s “fixed” later. If that’s you, put the book down and walk away. But I’d just suggest not writing a scathing review of a novel (or series) you haven’t finished. 😉