#and maybe came back again in a more possible reality

[yukidragon]

Sunny Day Jack - Recording Love

We I interrupt the baby-focused ramble train to share a thought/theory that popped into my head that has some smutty fun possibilities. This post will probably be short, but I'm still throwing in a quick Content Warning that this post contains a heck of a lot of Adults Only NSFW lewdness.

@channydraws @earthgirlaesthetic @sai-of-the-7-stars @cheriihoney @illary-kore @okamiliqueur @kurokrisps

Most people in the fandom remember this classic audio of Jack giving a villainous monologue, right? I've theorized in previous posts that Jack becomes stronger and more real the more his sunshine loves him, while conversely if they stop caring about him, he just might disappear. After all, it certainly sounds like the person Jack is talking to isn't his sunshine, which is something he can't do in the demo.

Well, at least as far as MC is aware, but that's a theory for another time.

It does make me wonder if MC being intimate with Jack via sex and telling him that they love him will make him more perceptible to others. That might mean the demo ends right before we get to see that something changed.

Also, given the fact that cats don't care for Jack and vice-versa, perhaps that's a sign that cats are more sensitive to ghosts(?) like Jack. It could be that after Jack asks, "Who's this?" we might get an interesting reaction from Shaun and/or Moon Pie...

But, again, another theory for another post.

It's hard to say what the progression will be like as Jack grows stronger thanks to his sunshine's love. Perhaps he'll be visible out of the corner of peoples' eyes at first. Maybe he'll appear as some sort of "glitch" in reality like a distortion in an analog tape. Maybe it'll start with just his voice being clearly audible before his body becomes solidly visible to others. Maybe he'll start off the way he became in the "no" route, untouchable while visually being there.

It's this thought about an analog distortion that reminded me that Jack can't be seen in mirrors or photographed. It's kind of interesting that the ghost(?) of a murdered TV show host who came from a VHS tape can't be filmed. Perhaps the first impact he might have on reality is the ability to be caught on video.

As another quick aside, this makes me imagine a tense scenario where Nick, Ian, and/or Shaun are using their phones to film the area around them, frantically looking for where Jack is, because he's not visible to the naked eye yet. His voice comes through their speakers, taunting them, and they only get glimpses of him in their sweeping shots before he gets them.

Man, there are so many possibilities for Jack being a really terrifying analog horror entity. But that's also for another post. This is one is about smut, and I need to stop getting distracted so we can get to the good stuff already.

Back on topic... it'd be kind of fitting that Jack's first real return to reality, outside of MC, is being recorded by them. He was once a famous star known nation-wide, recorded on film and audio tape. He was loved by so many because he was recorded. He came back to the world of the living thanks to a video tape. It'd be kind of poetic.

Heck, what if those recordings are what allow Jack to become fully human(?) If the love of MC got Jack this far, then maybe if they spread the word about him, uploading videos of him to the internet, and making the world know about him... Perhaps by being remembered by more people will give him a stronger foothold in reality, especially if they love him like they used to when he was on the SunnyTime Crew Show.

Perhaps the fastest way to make Jack real again is for MC to film them showing him lots of love~

Yes, this was all build up to suggest that the solution to Jack's problem is for him and his sunshine to film pornos together.

It'd be kind of fitting, don't you think? Especially in an NC-17 eroge. Not to mention that Jack does have that exhibitionist kink after all. I'm sure he'd be more than happy to show the world just how much he loves his sunshine and how much they love him~

Of course, not all MCs will be open to the idea of sharing such intimate recordings publicly. Heck, there'll be plenty not comfortable taking nude snapshots to share privately with a partner. I know my girl Alice wouldn't!

That was when I wondered... what might convince Alice to change her mind? At least to some extent.

See, what led me down this rabbit hole in the first place was thinking about what comes next in Sunshine in Hell, specifically the fact that Alice isn't just going to be ignore the giant clown shaped elephant in the room. MC did some testing and found out about the mirrors and photographs in the demo, but Alice is going to want to investigate more and get more proof. Either she's lost her mind, or she has a supernatural entity living with her. She needs to know which it is in order to know how to proceed.

Jack can't be photographed? Okay, but he can pick up objects. He can interact with Alice physically, and that can be recorded.

If you can't draw the subject for your picture, then you can show show it's there by emphasizing the negative space where it should be.

Alice is going to do some experiments. First she tries to film Jack juggling some balls he pulled out of his pocket. (Because clowns gotta juggle am I right?) The balls don't show up either. Neither does anything else Jack manages to just pull out of nowhere like his wardrobe changes.

Okay then, Jack can juggle, um... er... Alice looks around for something not breakable then finally gives Jack random writing utensils. She films him picking up pillows, moving furniture, making her bed, cooking food, etc. She could even film him writing messages on paper.

It certainly looks spooky to Alice seeing items moving around like that when she plays back the video.

A darn shame that there's hundreds of these sort of "ghost" videos online. It's amazing what people can do with homemade special effects and video editing software! Even if Alice wanted to post these online to see if this is something other people might know about or have a similar experience with, no one would actually believe it's a real ghost(?)

This led to thoughts of Jack using Alice's body as a more convincing prop of his presence. Of course, this would only be after they get together as a couple. He might suggest picking her up among the early experiments, but she wouldn't feel comfortable with that in the early days. It'd be a while later when Jack remembers the experiments that he decides to bring up the idea again.

Alice is a bit hesitant, not wanting to record herself and plaster it all over the internet, but Jack suggests this time they just do it for them. Even if they can't see him, it'd be cute to see how she looks in his arms from every angle.

Though a bit embarrassed, Jack does manage to convince Alice. It would be more proof that he's really there after all, even if they can't see him. Jack even spins her around a bit once they start filming, catching her off guard. He tells jokes to make her laugh, they banter playfully, and she surprises him in return with a kiss.

When playing back the recording, they see distortions, hints of someone there besides Alice, hints of a voice in the background laughing along with her and responding.

Then, for just a moment, just for a single frame, when Alice is kissing Jack, he's visible. He's distorted and not perfectly clear, but he's there, all blue haired and brightly colored.

It's a huge shock and Jack is practically vibrating with excitement. Alice can't help but be overwhelmed as well by it. Yes, by this point she was certain Jack had to be real, and she had other small bits of proof but this... this is so much more.

Jack wants to do it again. He needs to do it again. Alice is more than willing to help, and the two of them try a few more experiments, quickly realizing that it's when they show each other love that he becomes more visible.

This leads to some rather... intimate footage.

Jack takes it slow, knowing that Alice is insecure about her body and very shy. He starts off with playing with her hair, telling her sweet words of love. He encourages her to do the same to him as well, as that might help. He kisses her, blazing a trail down to her neck where he sucks firmly and nips, wanting to leave a mark on her skin in full view of the camera.

The more intimate they are, the more Jack appears in the video, more real and solid.

Alice is too shy about taking her clothes off while being recorded, but lets Jack slide his hands underneath her shirt. Even if the glitches won't show him in that moment, there's a perfect outline of his hands through the cloth, massaging her breasts. It feels so lewd, almost too much, but it's more proof that he's real. Jack makes sure to distract her by tweaking her nipples and whispering in her ear that she's being so good for him.

Huh. Sorry for another quick aside, but I'm suddenly reminded of all the fan art of Jack doing lewd things to MC's body while they're at work. It takes place when they're standing behind the counter, trying desperately not to react and let anyone know that they're having sex right there in public. There are security cameras all over the place, with only one blind spot that is definitely not where the front counter is. Maybe if this scene appears in the game, security footage of the incident is what gives Jack his first solid footing in reality.

Man, won't Barry be surprised. Imagine that phone call of the boss yelling at MC for having sex with their boyfriend right in front of the customers. And what the hell were they thinking letting someone who doesn't work there behind the counter?

Back to Alice and Jack experimenting... it'd be a slow progression of Jack encouraging Alice to try more and more. After all, the more love they show each other, the more Jack appears, the more he's heard. He's even visible at times when they're not actively groping at each other. Maybe they just need to go further.

Alice wants to help Jack interact with the world, and he's so happy about it, so excited... How can she refuse? Besides, no one will see these but the two of them. She's going to make absolutely sure to hide these videos where no one else can find them.

Boy would it be awful for a certain remorseful cheating ex if he came across these, wouldn't it? Good thing Jack won't let Ian near even a recording of Alice ever again.

Back to the good stuff. Jack fondles Alice through her clothes, makes her mewl and beg him for his touch. It's so lewd when playing back the video that she has a hard time watching herself in such a state, but he's sure to praise her during the viewing as well telling her how beautiful she is. He just adores the way she calls his name, how lovely she looks arching into him as she cums all over his fingers.

Next the clothes come off, for Jack at least, at first. He has no shame showing his body before the camera, especially when Alice is the one touching him, kissing him, and taking off all his clothes. He's visible the entire time in this video, more solid and defined when she's caressing and kissing him. They can see the way he laces his fingers through her hair when she goes down on him. Even the mess he left behind that she couldn't quite swallow all of remains visible on film while they get cleaned up.

Alice is mortified by how she looks, but Jack is right there to praise her, both in the video and in reality. Watching her get him off just gets him excited all over again, and he wants to do even more. He wants to repay the favor... while recording it. He wants her to see how beautiful she looks when he shows her love.

They've come this far, going further and further each time. Alice has seen herself so lewd already, so going this far is less scary by this point. Besides, it's been so helpful for Jack, and he's done so much to make her feel loved and adored, not used. He made the experience so much easier than she thought it could be.

Jack makes sure to angle Alice's body so she has a perfect view of what his mouth and fingers are doing to her. He makes sure to describe what he's doing as well whenever his tongue isn't otherwise busy teasing out obscene noises from her. The camera was initially aimed as a sideways view to show both of them and not so much a close up of her sex, but at some point Jack grabbed the phone to get different angles. He wanted to record Alice's expressions of bliss and give her a good look at just what he's doing to her body. He wants to see it all and share this glorious experience with his precious sunshine. He goes overboard groping and licking, making marks all over her thighs, breasts, stomach. It goes from just cunnilingus to a full body experience. They don't stop even after he makes her cum, as he wants to see her cum in more positions and get more angles of her in a state of bliss screaming his name.

It's their longest video. After worshipping her body so much and sharing so much of her pleasure, Jack eventually can't hold back anymore. He just has to be inside of Alice. Now. He needs it so, so badly.

The camera gets set aside, still angled at them, but Alice is too dazed to remember it even exists, and Jack is too desperate for her to want to mess with it anymore. When he's finally inside her, he has to take a moment to keep from exploding. Maybe it was all the build up and teasing, maybe it was from sharing one of his biggest kinks with the one he loves all day, maybe it's the act of doing this making him more real, but the feeling of being one with her is as intense as the first time they made love.

The first round is just for them in that moment, Jack just reveling in the pleasure and love he has for Alice and vice-versa. The next rounds are where he takes advantage of the camera, changing positions so that they get good shots without him needing to mess with the phone again but mindful of where the camera's lens is aimed. He keeps his sunshine's attention on him and the praise he showers her in the entire time so she doesn't think about the video. He adores seeing her like this, so needy for him and unashamed to show him just how much she loves him.

They only really stop when Alice is too exhausted to continue. Jack gently praises her and reassures her that he'll clean her up and take care of things. She's half-asleep when he mentions that he'll turn off the camera, and for a moment she wonders, what camera? But she's feeling too good and too tired to think too much about it.

Of course, Jack makes sure they watch the video after breakfast the next day. This one is the best yet. He's perfectly visible and audible the entire time, with nary a glitch in sight. Even when he's seen cleaning Alice up afterwards - while looking mighty pleased with himself and giving her adoring looks the whole time - he looks perfectly normal, perfectly human.

It's still embarrassing for Alice to see herself in such a state, and she certainly won't ever let anyone else see the video, but it worked. Now when they take videos of Jack, he remains in the recording, regardless of what the video is rated.

Still, even though they succeeded and technically they don't have to keep filming pornos to have Jack visible in the videos, it couldn't hurt to keep doing it, right? Just for the two of them of course. It was a lot of fun, don't you think~?

After all, it'd be nice to save these precious memories of how much they love each other captured forever on video so that they never forget~

Okay, I know I said this was going to be a short post, but I got carried away once I finally got the smutty ball rolling. I just can't resist indulging in my OTP, okay?

As another aside (as if I didn't have a ton of them throughout this post), if Jack is made stronger through his sunshine's love, maybe the reason why he has insane stamina is the more they love him, the more charged with energy he gets. I guess that incubus costume is more fitting than we all realized~

Really... aren't cubi created from dreams in legend? That might be something to explore in another post.

On that note, let's wrap things up. I'm sure there's plenty of MCs who would have a ton of fun not only filming themselves loving on Jack in the naughtiest of ways, but they might decide to share it with others if they're especially bold. A shame for any of the other love interests who might come across it.

You know, MC and Jack might get a lot of money for those videos if they start up a LonelyFans account. They could even do livestreams there like Nick does.

Funny how Jack might become Nick's biggest rival in more than just romance, don't you think?

I hope y'all enjoyed this silly, smutty romp of a theory!

[five-bi-five-mind]

PLEASE MAKE SUGAR MOMMY!WANDA. It can be when she already left Westview and is now living a lonely life alone missing her children. Then there goes new neighbor R who just left home and is struggling financially OMG!

I loved every single one of your Wanda fics and I'll never shut up about it 👀

Everything Again

Fandom: Marvel

Pairing: Wanda Maximoff & fem!Reader

Genre: Smut & Dark-ish fic

Words: 8K+

Summary: Wanda has nothing in her life that brings her joy once she let go of Westview, but then she meets you. She makes sure to be everything you want and need, and you’re all she needs… for a while. But what happens when some of her wants from Westview come creeping back? Can Wanda suppress it or will she do whatever it takes to have everything she wants again?

Warnings: light stalking, not the healthiest relationship, Wanda is controlling, toxic!Wanda, mind manipulation, top!Wanda, bottom!R, rough sex, magic strap-on, slight breeding kink, degradation, magic restraints, light choking, slight dubcon, maybe possibly unknown risk of pregnancy but no actual pregnancy.

A/N: I hate this title but I couldn't think of a better one... Anyways I kinda took a dark turn with this request that's my bad. Enjoy folks!

When Wanda saw you, she knew she had to have you. It was like the stars aligned all of a sudden and a splash of color came into her bleak world for once since leaving Westview. She’d been wandering all over since that… incident. All she felt for months was this horrible, nagging, hollowness and she had no idea how to solve it. Part of her wondered if she filled this void with something to at least stave off the boredom, maybe it would be better. But so far, her only method of occupying her time was figuring out the scope of her power. And every time she dabbled with that it just felt like the hole inside her ripped open even deeper. 

She had made her way to a small college town when she bumped into you. Or, more accurately, when you smacked into her, your eyes glued to your phone at the time. When your body collided with Wanda’s she felt anger bubble inside her for a moment and that familiar tingle at her fingertips as she decided how she might act in response to your inconsideration.  But when your panicked eyes looked up at hers, suddenly it was like the fuse inside her was doused with ice cold water. 

Wanda couldn’t help but smirk at your immediate apologetic response once you realized you were now fully pressed against an utter stranger. At the time, you were so panicked over the email you had just received that you forgot to look up. But when you felt strong hands bracing your elbows as you hit another person’s body like hitting a brick wall, it brought you crashing into reality. The guilt and embarrassment you felt were burning on your cheeks, but the eyes that met yours were only angry for a brief moment. After yours locked with hers they shifted from anger to surprise and then, curiously enough for the both of you, to intrigue. 

“I– I am so sorry,” you sputtered as you attempted to take a step back. Key word there was attempted. To your confusion, the woman in front of you didn’t seem to want to let go. 

It surprised Wanda too, but not in a bad way. The moment she heard your voice things lit up even more. That splash of color turned into a sea and she didn’t want to let go just yet. Her hands wrapped tighter around your elbows and for a moment she didn’t even care that it could possibly startle you. She just knew that for some odd reason, having you, this wide-eyed, terrified random girl she bumped into on the street, was bringing part of her back to life in a way. 

“Are you okay?” Wanda still didn’t let go. If anything, she pulled you ever so slightly closer as she swore she could feel your heartbeat like crazy against her own chest.  

“Oh, um, yes.” You again attempted to take a step back. “Thank you, um…”

“Wanda,” she replied and finally dropped her hold on you. It didn’t go unseen– the disappointed frown she had for a moment as you took a wide step back. 

“Wanda,” you echoed. “I’m sorry about that. I should’ve watched where I was going. Are you alright?” Your head tilted and your eyebrows scrunched as you asked her that and Wanda was taken aback for a moment that you even thought to ask. It had been so long since she was asked anything if she were being honest.

“What made you so distracted?” Wanda ignored your question and chose to ask one of her own. She didn’t even know you, but she realized she suddenly wanted to learn everything about you, starting with what had you so wrapped up in a tiny screen that you ran straight into another human being. 

“Oh…” Your eyes dropped to the ground and Wanda took note of the way you shuffled nervously in front of her. “Um, nothing just– It wasn’t something that should’ve distracted me like that. I’m sorry for running into you.” You were trying to go at this point. The way this stranger was looking at you had you anxious and you had no idea why. The fact that she was also asking you this rather than just going on her own way also made you feel self-conscious and scrutinized by the woman before you. 

Wanda just blinked back at you, the frown on her face showing yet again for a moment. Your eyes searched hers and the confusion in them grew. Did this total stranger really want to know your business? If you were to say it out loud to her, surely you would seem pathetic. But she still stood, waiting for you to answer what was so important that you completely missed the person standing still as you walked right into her.

“Okay,” you sighed, “I got an email about my funding. I’m a– Or I guess was a student here. My funding got pulled. No funding means no grad school… So I have to figure that out, I guess.” 

There was a moment of silence as Wanda just stared down at you. Her facial expression was impossible to read for a moment. It was pensive, almost neutral and you waited for any sort of response to her. 

“I’ll figure it out,” you continued for whatever reason. Trying to fill the silence as Wanda just kept staring. “There’s other programs, other schools. I can apply again.”

“I’m sure it will all work out,” Wanda finally said. She put her hand on your shoulder for a moment, trailing it over you as she finally began to walk past you. When her hand left you and she went her own way, you just stood there stunned. 

You thought that encounter with her would plague your mind for days, but as if a switch had flipped suddenly that strangeness that was filling your mind faded into nothing.

—---------------------------------

That encounter may have left you utterly confused, but to Wanda it made things so clear. She finally had a plan, something to do. She was wandering aimlessly since Westview with nothing to fill the time. She had said she would find her children again in some dimension, somewhere, but for she had no real leads. She was losing hope, she was spiraling– That is until you bumped into her.

The gears in Wanda’s mind began to turn the minute you confessed to why you were so distracted that fateful day. And ever since then, she was going to put a plan into motion. First, she had to learn just a little bit more about you. But it wouldn’t do if you suddenly left the place she had found you in, so she tweaked some things. Starting with an anonymous donation to your department (of which she found quite quickly from just a few days of watching you) so that they might be able to fund their graduate students– Specifically you– and that you might be able to stay and continue your research and studies while she worked on a way to draw you closer to her. 

After a few weeks of watching you, she quickly learned that despite her donation, they didn’t give you enough funding to comfortably live on. You ran from job to job when you weren’t on campus studying and Wanda quickly decided, if you were to be her new fixation, then having multiple jobs would not do. You had her undivided attention, so now she wanted the majority of yours. She decided you could have your studies, but the rest of you… The rest of you she was going to make hers. 

It only took her a few more weeks after watching you carefully to approach you again. One thing about her new powers was that, rather than captivating a whole town like she did with Westview, she could easily– and with a lot less catastrophic damage– erase a small part of people’s memories. Namely, their memory that Wanda even existed in the first place. It wasn’t possible for the whole world to forget her, but a small college town she definitely could handle. Just another reason to keep you inside this town and not let you wander much further. With her handle on this new aspect of her own power, she took it one step further with you, erasing the very first day you two met. That day would always replay in Wanda’s mind, but she knew it confused and frightened you and she needed to paint herself in the best light possible when she finally approached you face-to-face again.

It was quite easy to approach you this time too. She posed as a professor in your own university. She twisted and turned the minds of the university until it was as if she had been there a long time. An established part of a university department outside of your own. She knew your schedule too, so she knew that you would always sit at the corner of the university coffee shop for about an hour in between classes. That’s where she finally approached you– or, to be more accurate, she made you approach her.

She almost felt bad about it, but at the same time she knew it would be her way in. She knew your eyes would be buried in a book as you walked to your usual spot and she used that moment to use an invisible force to trip you. And, like the knight in shining armor she wanted to appear to you as, she swooped in front of you and caught you skillfully. 

The first look you gave her was back on your face this time too. The panic and embarrassment that burned in your cheeks as you looked up at your savior was evident on your face. Wanda gave you the best, charming smile she could muster, but if you were being honest it made you feel almost as if you were a fly that landed right in a spider’s web. 

“Are you okay?” Wanda said the same line to you and you nodded, immediately trying to apologize like last time. 

Wanda knew by now that this was your personality. You were shy and anxious, but also patient and kind. All the things that were the opposite of how she considered herself and all the things that had her captivated by you. 

“Yeah, I– I’m good,” you again tried to step back and this time Wanda let you. “I’m so sorry! Thank you for catching me. Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” Wanda chuckled as her hands fell to her sides. “What are you reading? Must be interesting.” The crooked smile she gave you was what finally drew you in. It was charming and warm and the way her eyes sparkled had you wanting to see more. When Wanda took in the wide, curious eyes looking back at her she knew she had you. 

And that was really all it took for her to wrap you up in her web and never let you go.

—------------------------------------------------

In the following months things happened rather quickly. After the day you had officially met Wanda, you saw her way more often. She would always sit near you at the coffee shop, or bump into you on other parts of campus, until finally you two established a date. And from that date things happened even quicker. It was like you blinked and suddenly your whole life was wrapped up in Wanda’s. You quickly said goodbye to your rundown, tiny apartment and moved into Wanda’s extravagant house right outside of town. Instead of taking the city bus to and from campus, she was driving you whenever and wherever you needed to go. There was now a lot more free time in your life to focus on both your studies and this new relationship you found yourself in with Wanda, as she had insisted you quit your job. That she would take care of every single one of your wants and needs. And how could you say no to that? Although, it was all a little too fast for your comfort, if you were being honest, but at the same time it was Wanda… You couldn’t picture your life without her from the very moment you met her and she made it clear that she intended for you to never find out what it would be like without her in it. 

She took care of you, she took care of everything. You needed only to focus on two things: her and school. Wanda loved the passion you had for studying, so she let you keep one thing outside of her. But she was still near, even if you weren’t aware. She was always near. 

But as months stretched on and her attachment to you became even stronger, things shifted a bit. She was feeling… anxious. The life she had back in Westview began to pop up in her mind again and she felt that hole inside her chest once more– The one that you had filled when she first saw you. There was only one part of her Westview life that kept running through her mind though. It wasn’t Vision. No, it was never Vision. Not when she had you. You were a brighter light in her life than Vision ever had been. A deeper love that felt soft and gentle, even if she had orchestrated a lot of events in order to make the two of you happen. 

Vision wasn’t what kept her up lately. It was her boys. There were dreams of them, flashes of them in her daily life. It was almost as if the more she loved you, the more she missed them. You had healed this wound, but in the nights that you wrapped your arms around her and fell asleep, she felt that familiar tug she had in Westview– the one that longed for a family. A life of peace and completeness. That made the wound feel fresh again. 

So Wanda began to withdraw. She wasn’t going to let you go, but for now, as she contemplated these feelings and how to fix them, she needed time and distance. Each time you smiled at her, each time you kissed her, that tug in the pit of her stomach felt stronger and stronger. The longing grew– The thought of recreating a Westview with you was tempting. But she knew how well that worked out last time. 

Late at night when this longing grew particularly strong, Wanda would sneak away when you were fast asleep to contemplate her options. She had hoped that you wouldn’t notice her withdrawal, but when your whole world was Wanda… How could you not? 

As these days of dealing with a withdrawn Wanda stretched on, you were getting restless. Something was clearly bothering Wanda and it was causing a rise of anxiety in you. At first you tried to approach it gently, but Wanda iced you out. The problem grew and Wanda warned you not to poke at it, but you couldn’t just leave it be. 

With your life being filled with Wanda now– Her withdrawing left you painfully lonely. So you began pushing unspoken limits Wanda set for you. Fights started and time and time again Wanda would shut you down. 

The more she did so, the more it felt she was putting you on the shelf. Like you were her little play thing and she was bored of you. There was an ache in you that you didn’t quite understand and the more confusion she left you with the closer you were to being utterly done. How you could even live without Wanda, you weren’t sure, but you were almost a little tempted to figure it out. 

There was no way you could ever leave Wanda, though. You didn’t want to, even if she was withdrawn, you still loved her deeply. But you wanted attention, acknowledgement, anything. 

Unfortunately for you, the only way you knew how to get that was to push her buttons more and more each day. 

You had no idea what was going through Wanda’s mind, but she had been particularly aggravated lately. What you didn’t know was that Wanda was stuck in trying to find the solution to the feelings that were plaguing her. She had played with an idea, but knew that in order to do so she would out her true nature and risk the memories she took from you to come flooding back. What would you do then, if you remembered who Wanda was? Her name was all over the news and the whole world knew she had fallen far from where she was when she helped the avengers. That was so long ago to Wanda. It was a different time, a different her. One that didn’t know her potential and didn’t know her own heart until she finally found all the pieces. 

The problem was, she’s never had all those pieces all at the same time. She wanted you and her boys. She wanted the picture perfect family that she had in Westview, but she wanted it with you this time. She wanted you as her little housewife and mother of her twins. In the past week she had been engrossed in ways to make that happen. She had a theory that if she tried to create her children again it would be the same children she once had. All she needed was to share her DNA in some way with you and a little bit of magic to add to that. Then, all would be right in her eyes if she had them in this way. For whatever reason, she felt that that was the true way the universe was meant to be. If she built this family with you, then it would never be taken from her ever again. The tricky part was actually creating them with you in a way that didn’t have you questioning how it was even scientifically possible. That would have you questioning a lot about who she is and what she could do. And she didn’t want to ruin what she established with you just yet. Even if the more you pushed at her the more she was tempted to say let go of her control.

She knew you were getting fed up with it too and the more you pushed her the more she contemplated letting her resolve slip. She tried her best to keep you at arms length while she tried to figure out her predicament. But she was feeling stuck with no alternative other than to reveal herself and what she could do. She kept going in circles to feel less stuck, but the more stuck she felt with this problem the angrier she was. And unfortunately, the angrier she was the easier it was for you to push her buttons. 

Unfortunately for the both of you, it only took one final push for her to actually snap. When you thought of Wanda breaking, you thought it would mean she would be forced to talk to you. Never did you expect the outcome of your plans that night. 

Your classmates had invited you out for drinks and, since you met Wanda, your answer was usually no. But tonight things were different. Wanda was so wrapped up in her own thoughts she didn’t pick you on campus. She was kind enough to warn you to take an Uber and she would pay, but you were still angry about it. So when you were invited out, you said yes. 

Saying anything other than no would’ve already irritated Wanda. Even a maybe. She didn’t like the idea of you going out to bars, especially without her. Usually if you wanted to do something with anyone else you’d at least ask her and she would be nearby to make sure you were safe and no one was tempted to take advantage of the time she was allowing them to have alone with you. But this time, you weren’t even going to ask. You were just going to go. Something you hadn’t done since before Wanda.

You knew what you were doing. It was all entirely intentional. Right down to the outfit you picked and the way you walked past Wanda, making just enough noise to get some of her attention. Even if she didn’t look up at you.

“Where are you going?” Wanda asked as she flipped a page of a strange book she was reading.

“Out,” you muttered. Even if Wanda wasn’t looking at you, you wanted your tone to register that you were rolling your eyes at her. The fact that she didn’t even look up just pissed you off even more. 

“I’m not planning to leave the house tonight.” She still wasn’t looking at you and that just made your hands ball into fists as you got more and more offended by her lack of attention. 

“I know,” you scoffed. “I don’t have to go everywhere with you.”

Suddenly, an eerie silence filled the room. You watched Wanda’s face as she kept her eyes glued to the book she was reading. There was a slight change in it, a tightening of her jaw, but she still didn’t look at you. 

“You know that’s not how this works,” Wanda’s response was calm, but you could tell you were starting to get to her. Never had you been defiant to her. She gave you everything you wanted and you did whatever she asked. There was an unspoken rule to go where Wanda goes, be where she wants you and an even deeper unspoken rule to not question or defy any of the other arrangements you two have made. But tonight, as you watched her jaw clench and unclench and realized you were getting under her skin, you decided to push more. 

“So?” You shrugged and that silent uncomfortable feeling in the room felt like it intensified the very second you uttered that one word. “I don’t see the harm in going out just for one night on my own.”

Wanda’s eyes slowly slid from her book to your face the moment you uttered the phrase on your own. That definitely wasn’t something you should’ve said to her. There was an understanding that anything you did “on your own” was something that Wanda would be nearby for. What you were asking for was a night completely away from Wanda, and it was breaking the biggest unspoken rule she had for you. This was new waters you were treading, but you were so sick of her lack of interest that you didn’t care. Any attention from her was a change from whatever was happening now. 

“You’re not going,” she ordered as she snapped her book shut and stood up. 

You just snorted at that, anger boiling in your blood as you stood your ground. “Why not? You seem preoccupied with just about anything other than me. What’s the harm?”

She was right in front of you now, her jaw was clenching and unclenching like it had before, but this time you looked down for a brief second and noticed her fists were doing the same. Still, though, you wanted to keep pushing. 

“With you dressed like that,” Wanda warned, “I think you know exactly what harm it could do.” You knew what you were doing when you got dressed. A tight, cropped shirt and even tighter short shorts to match. It was something meant to catch the eye of others and definitely something you knew would get an extra rise out of Wanda to add to that. What you didn’t know was what exactly Wanda meant. She was already picturing in her mind the droves of people who would come trying to pick you up at whatever trashy bar you decided to go to. And when she pictured people trying to touch what was hers, she also pictured all the ways in which she could make them suffer so much as daring to think they could have you. 

You were playing with fire and on some level you knew that, but something in you couldn’t stop pushing her buttons. Even if you didn’t know what exactly you were getting into, even if you didn’t know to the full extent how possessive Wanda could be of you and how much of a monster she was capable of being when provoked. 

“I don’t think it’s that big of a deal.” You shrugged again and Wanda’s eye twitched as you kept challenging her resolve. “At least someone will appreciate it.”

If you thought the tension was bad when Wanda stood up, now it was suffocating you. Wanda just stared back at you, her eyes burning with anger. In fact, she looked so angry you swore you saw a red flash in her eyes.  For a moment, you kind of just stood there, waiting for Wanda to respond, but on her part she was trying to calm the possessive rage that you just caused to boil over inside of her. 

Part of her wanted to force you to your knees and have you beg forgiveness for defying her like this. You hadn’t even done anything yet, but just the idea and threat of disobeying her wishes had her furious. She was so close to figuring out how to have everything she wanted and now of all times you were trying to defy her? Trying to let a pathetic stranger swoop in on you at some dive bar when you know you’re hers? No, this was unacceptable to her. Never have you done anything other than be good for her. The way you so easily obeyed her is a small part of what drew her to you in the first place. And she did realize she had been neglectful, but couldn’t you see it was for your own good? For the good of the family Wanda was trying to rebuild with you? The more she had you the more she wanted. She had you completely already, that was true, but she wanted you in a way she wasn’t sure you were ready for. In a way that would show you exactly who Wanda really was. 

So in order to find a solution to the raging beast inside of her that wanted to claim you and have her family back, she thought it was best to withdraw.Clearly she over calculated and now here she was. But as you stood with your arms crossed over your chest, daring her with your eyes to do something, suddenly that’s when all her control just snapped. You felt the shift too, even if you didn’t understand it. It was like the calm before the storm. Wanda took a sharp, deep breath through her nose before exhaling and taking a step into your personal space. 

“Okay,” Wanda growled. “That’s about enough.” In a blink of the eye you were thrown over her shoulder. The way you yelped as you felt yourself hoisted off the ground echoed through the room. You knew Wanda was strong, but you didn’t know she was that strong. She had you thrown over her shoulder like it was nothing. Your hands grasped at her shirt, terrified she would drop you at any moment, but it was as if she had no struggle at all. 

“Wanda, what the fuck?” You cried as she walked towards the bedroom. With a grunt, you landed hard on the mattress. You couldn’t even begin to sit up before she was already on the bed with her legs on either side of your waist, essentially pinning you down onto the bed with her body.

“Language,” she hissed as she started to pull her own shirt off before immediately reaching for yours. 

“How did you- What- When did you get so strong?” You couldn’t collect your thoughts. They were scrambled up by the display of sheer strength and also maybe a little bit by the fact that Wanda was sitting on top of you without a shirt. 

“You wanted attention and now you’re questioning how I give it to you?” Wanda’s voice was dripping with irritation as she began to yank both your own shirt and bra off of you. 

“I– No, but…” You were now naked from the waist up beneath Wanda. Her eyebrow arched as you struggled to find your words. You definitely knew your little stunt would piss her off, but you didn’t expect this outcome. 

“Now tell me,” Wanda’s nails began dragging down your chest as she spoke, “why would you want anyone else’s attention, when I’m all that you need?” Her nails dug down a little harder as they reached your stomach and you hissed at the slight sting of the red marks they left behind.

“Tell me,” Wanda ordered again as her hands made their way back up to your chest. “I give you everything you could possibly want.” The way she was palming at them was rough, but still it had you squirming underneath her. “So why,” she took your nipples between her fingers and pinched just a little harder than she usually would, causing a slight pain as she spoke, “would you ever think about anyone else?”

You winced as she palmed at you even harder, but you couldn’t help the flood of shame at the arousal it sent straight to your core. The way she was handling you, like an object— like something to be owned— was new. Sure she could be intense when she touched you, but she was never intentionally rough like she was being right now. She never purposely caused any kind of pain, even if right now it was mild and (to your surprise) enjoyable. 

“It– it wasn’t like that!” You were stumbling over your words as you began to feel Wanda grind down into you. It wasn’t slight or subtle, the way she was moving her hips. She was pressing your body harder into the mattress as she dragged herself against you from where she was straddling your waist. 

“Hm, then what was it like?” Wanda’s tone was degrading. She was practically seething on top of you as she spoke. “Because to me it sounded like my little toy wanted someone else to play with her?” 

“I–” You couldn’t stop the wince at her harsh words. She had called you that before, but still there was a loving inflection in her voice when she did in the past. This tone she had now, the way she said, it was filled with nothing but rage. “Wanda, I don’t want anyone else. No– No, I… I just wanted you to-“ 

“Oh look at that,” Wanda interrupted, her tone utterly condescending. “Now you’re trying to cover your tracks.” You watched curiously as one of Wanda’s hands left your body. “I thought you understood when we started that you’re mine. I can’t have a single ounce of doubt in your mind about that fact. Now I need to remind you of who you belong to. Who owns you.” She hissed that word and your eyes widened as you watched her fingers twist and twirl in the air, a red glow following them as they moved. In a blink the rest of your clothes just vanished. Your eyes widened for a moment as you stared up at Wanda. But then, in another flash of red you felt your hands fly up and pin themselves above your head. No matter the struggle, you felt a constant, unwavering invisible force hold your wrists in place. 

“Wanda, what— how did you do that?” Your eyes shifted from above you, then to her fingers and finally to her face. Now you definitely noticed the matching red swirl in her irises. 

“I think it’s time I properly taught you just how important it is for you to be good, so that we can have everything we want.” If she heard your question she was clearly ignoring it. Your mind was racing trying to keep up with what was going on top of you. Her words definitely confused you too, but you didn’t get the chance to question them again. 

Wanda looked down for a moment and saw the look in your eyes before rolling her own and pressing her glowing fingers to your temple. In a split second you suddenly realized exactly who she was. Your heart raced and you gulped, but oddly you weren’t as terrified as you were just shocked. 

The Wanda Maximoff was on top of you telling you that you belonged to her. You should be running and screaming for help, or at least attempting to. All the news headlines and stories flooded your memory and you knew exactly how they painted her. She could end you in a second; you should be afraid. But for some reason, you weren’t. Instead, seeing this powerful woman on top of you and thinking back to all the times she told you she loved you, that she would take care of you, that she wanted only you. Knowing the truth, it stunned you, but not in a bad way. 

“Are you scared?” Wanda’s tone was still the same, taunting and demeaning as it was before. Only this time, you saw a little beyond that. There was a seriousness there. A curiosity of what your reaction was. Wanda thought if you reacted badly she could just go back to how it was. Wipe your mind of her existence entirely yet again, restart with you, and enjoy the dynamic you two had again. Was it a healthy plan? No. She would have to start from scratch again. Get you to fall for her once more. But Wanda’s obsession with you has gone far beyond the point of return. She would do what was necessary.

As if to purposely test your limits, Wanda reached for your throat, pressing ever so slightly. “Are you?” She repeated as she leaned down to look you in the eye.

You swallowed hard for a second, already feeling the slight strain on your throat as you did. “No,” you breathed out lowly. You weren’t at all. You realized all you wanted was her attention and finally she was giving it to you. Was this secret that kept her so withdrawn lately? “No, Wanda, I’m not.” 

You were nervous, but you weren’t scared. No matter what Wanda was before, no matter what she has become now, you were hers from the moment you crashed into her. A memory that was returned to you. If she hadn’t wiped that one, you would’ve still been drawn to her and fallen for her just as hard as you did when she was posing as a professor. 

Wanda knew your acceptance was true and took your answer for what it was. This moment right now opened so many doors for her. The void she had been feeling, it could finally be fixed in the way she wanted to fix it. Things in her life were falling into place. As Wanda sat atop of you she finally— for the first time in her entire existence —felt like she was winning. Not once did she ever feel so powerful until this very moment.

“Now that you know the truth…” Wanda trailed off in a low voice. She was thinking aloud more than she was talking to you. Her eyes stayed locked with yours but you could tell she was pondering something. When you saw the now familiar swirl of red in her eyes you began to question what Wanda has in store for you. 

“Do you love me?” Wanda now spoke directly to you. Her eyes were still glowing red as her hand finally relaxed against your throat.

“Yes,” you replied breathlessly. Wanda’s face melted at your admission. The harsh, contemplative look she was wearing shifted into a soft smile finally. It was perhaps the first time in weeks she gave you a glimpse of her softness and you reveled in it. 

But after just a split second it was replaced with a bigger smile, one that gave you that feeling of being prey caught in a trap again. It was a feeling you weren’t unfamiliar with. And, if you were being honest, you enjoyed the thrill you got from seeing it. “We’re going to try something,” Wanda purred as she sat back up, but remained on top of you. “Something that we’ll both thoroughly enjoy.” 

You looked at her with curious eyes, squirming underneath her only slightly as she shifted and began to move between your legs. 

“It will give us both what we’ve been wanting,” Wanda continued as she now knelt between your legs, holding them open for her as she spoke. Her eyes raked down your body, from your flushed cheeks all the way down to the wetness that dripped from your thighs. She couldn’t help the satisfied hum at the sight, thinking this might be a lot easier of a task than she thought it would be. 

With another swirl of red in her eyes and a matching red shimmer around her twirling fingers, you followed her eyes down as the rest of her clothes disappeared and something materialized. Wanda’s smile grew as something you couldn’t fully see appeared between her legs.

You strained your neck up as best you could from the pillow, but with your arms still pinned above your head it was difficult. You caught what looked like shimmering, deep red straps resting around her waist and could only imagine what those led to. 

When Wanda leaned forward and you felt a cool, silicon tip pushing between your folds, your suspicions were confirmed. The contact made the both of you shiver, and as you felt Wanda run the toy slowly from your entrance to your clit and back down, you could see her taking sharp, deep breaths.

“This is going to be… incredible,” Wanda practically hissed. “I’ll be able to feel everything, to feel every part of you when I make you cum.”

Wanda hadn’t even begun fucking you and the idea of it turned you on so much you couldn’t stop the moan that slipped from your lips in a response. 

“And then,” Wanda lined the tip up as she spoke, “I’m going to fill you with my cum and hopefully it will work.” With that she pushed forward and you both took a sharp breath at the feeling. 

Wanda eased in as slowly as she could while fighting her every instinct to just ram into you and fuck you until she felt you fall apart. But she knew that at least for the start of this, she should go slow. This was, after all, the first time she’s fucked you using her magic. It was the first time she’s fucked you using something this big too. For all she knew, you’ve only ever had experience with her fingers. She didn’t want to break you— not completely. But as her cock sank into you inch by inch she was beginning to slip.

“God this feels better than I imagined,” Wanda hissed as she bottomed out inside you. “Why didn’t I do this sooner?” 

Your teeth were digging into your lip as you tried to stop yourself from crying out from the sheer feeling of being so full. To have Wanda fill your pussy in a way she never has before, it was taking all your willpower not to turn into a moaning, whining mess before she even really began to fuck you.

Wanda’s hips were currently completely pressed between your legs and you were taking her so surprisingly well. You were tight, but the way you squeezed Wanda’s magic strap was delicious. There was a pause for a moment— just a brief second for you to adjust to the size of her toy. But it was all she could manage to give you. The sensation of actually feeling you in this way had her head swimming and she needed more. 

She pulled the toy out slowly, so much so that only the tip stayed inside you. Her chest was already heaving as she looked down at you. The way her eyes were filled with hunger made you shiver as you looked back up at her, restrained, helpless, and thirsty for more. Your legs spread open for her even more without her prompting you and she groaned at the sight before her. Your wetness smeared on the parts of the toy that she could see, your arms still pinned over your head. It was all too much. She couldn’t help what she did next. Her hips snapped suddenly and her cock pushed deep into you. 

The cry you let out echoed through the room and Wanda swore she’s never heard a prettier sound. Her hips pulled back again until just the tip was left in you. Again she snapped them forward hard, making your eyes screw shut as you cried her name. 

“Fuck, if I knew it would feel like this…” Wanda groaned as she began to pump inside you at a brutal pace. Her hands were on your thighs, nails digging into your skin as she kept your legs spread open. Your hands were balled into fists above your head as she fucked you. You couldn’t stop the moans and cries that fell from your lips even if you wanted to. 

As Wanda kept fucking you, she fell forward, her entire body pressed against yours, as her lips captured your own. You whimpered into the kiss as her tongue filled your mouth much in the same aggressive way as the way she was currently fucking the toy into you. 

Wanda’s hands still had a hold of your thighs as she hoisted your legs over her waist, giving her a better angle to fuck the toy into you. You struggled to keep up with the way Wanda was licking into your mouth and biting at your lips. Her cock was hitting a spot inside of you, you didn’t even know would feel as good as it did. Your knuckles were turning white as your whole body began to shake from the sheer pleasure she was giving you. Even though you felt as if your whole body was on the brink of exploding, Wanda just kept going.

When Wanda began to moan more and more against your own mouth, you knew neither of you would last much longer. Wanda couldn’t keep kissing you anymore, and instead buried her head in the nape of your neck as she hoisted your legs higher onto her hips and fucked you even deeper. Your eyes had rolled back and cries of Wanda’s name fell from your lips nonstop as she picked up her pace.

“I can feel how close you are,” Wanda groaned as she pumped particularly harder into you. “But you’re going to wait. I want you to cum when I do.”

All you could do was whine in response as the sensation of her fucking you made it impossible for you to let out any coherent words. 

“You’re going to look so pretty,” she moaned against your neck, “filled up with my cum… and even prettier after.” Wanda’s movements were becoming erratic as she spoke. The words hardly registered to you as she kept fucking you harder and faster. 

“You wanna cum, baby?” Wanda purred in your ear. You nodded desperately, your whole body trembling as you continued to take her. Her teeth grazed against the most sensitive part of your neck as she felt you nod and she could feel her own body tremble from how close she was. “Then come with me,” she ordered. Her hips pumped harder into you and after a moment you felt a sudden warm rush of fluids inside you. The sound of moans filled the air even louder than before and you weren’t sure if they were coming from you or her. 

The moment you felt her cum inside you, you followed after. Your body arched off the bed and you felt tears prick at the corner of your eyes. Wanda’s forehead was pressed to your bare chest as she came. The way your pussy tightened around her magic cock was intoxicating. Neither of you had felt so good in your entire lives and Wanda made a mental note to fuck you like this often. 

When she felt your body finally collapse against the mattress she did the same against you. You realized quickly that your wrists no longer felt restrained, but you kept them above your head either way. Too exhausted to even lift them yet. 

“That was…” you couldn’t find the words. You had never felt so amazing on so many different levels than you did tonight. Your body felt spent and sensitive, but all you wanted was more. More of that, more of Wanda, more of everything she had to offer now that you knew who Wanda was. 

“Yeah,” Wanda didn’t need to hear you finish your sentence to know she was feeling the same way you were. Her head rested on your chest, listening to your heartbeat begin to slow as you came down from the high Wanda gave you. 

“Can we… do it like that more?” Your face was flushed as you asked. 

Wanda lifted her head and gave you a beaming smile. To anyone else it would be dazzling, but curiously, to you it gave you that feeling again— the one where you were nothing but a sheep caught in a wolf’s clutches. 

“Of course we can, baby,” Wanda purred as she looked up at you. “As many times as it takes.” 

The word choice was odd. Your eyebrows furrowed as you looked down at the woman on your chest. Her eyes were dark as she looked back up at you and something about the way her fingers traced up and down your stomach made you shudder. 

“As many times as it takes?” You echoed Wanda’s words back to her as a question, but she just gave a small hum of agreement as she placed a few kisses on your skin. 

“Until I have everything that I want again.” Her voice was low suddenly, almost threatening. You looked down at her eyes and saw how they darkened as she continued to trace her fingers against your body. “And nobody will take it from me again.”

Her words felt like a threat to an invisible entity. You knew it wasn’t directed towards you, you had no idea the source. But you knew she was serious, even if you didn’t quite understand why. Her words felt as much as a threat to someone as they did a direct promise to you. 

As Wanda laid on your chest and recovered some of her strength she thought about how she was one step closer. She could have her perfect family; her happiness. She didn’t need to control a whole town, she didn’t even necessarily need to control you. Once you did understand, she knew you would be accepting. Shocked, maybe, but ultimately accepting and even happy to build the dream Wanda had. She would have her boys, she would recreate them again with you. And then it would be the four of you, forever. 

For your part, you didn’t know what Wanda meant exactly. It wouldn’t be until later that evening, when Wanda decided you recovered enough to go again, that you put the pieces together and realized exactly how magic Wanda’s new toy was. She was right in her assumption of your reaction, shocked but accepting. Just like the good girl she knew you would be. Whatever Wanda wanted, you decided you would give it to her, knowing she would do the same. Wanda was one step closer to her happiness and it finally felt as if she was building it on solid foundations. There would be no one to take you from her, no one to stop her from building a life again with you. And there was a silent, chilling understanding between the two of you that if anyone were to ever threaten her happiness again… they would not get very far.

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Soft Astarion Jealousy

Now with part 2!

I love Ascended Astarion because he's horrible but the sweetness of the other end of the spectrum is impossible to deny. He's just so in love and grateful I can't 🥺🥺

So here's some jealousy that isn't psychotic. Well it is but not as bad:

Astarion never expected to be the jealous type. He always thought...well. In all honesty he never thought about the reality of having a relationship. He didn't even think it was possible for him, let alone the idea that he would actually want it. Even with you, even after he admitted a fraction of his own feelings to himself, he never thought that he would be so... possessive. Though admittedly, he had very good cause for it.

Because you were frustrating. So, so frustrating. For some idiotic reason, you simply didn't understand how alluring to others you really were. You were a pretty little thing, yes but that wasn't the problem. It was so much more than that. And he knew that the others wanted you. Every last one of them. Lae'zel, Shadowheart, Wyll, Karlach, Gale, Halsin. All of them like moths to a flame. And that wasn't even counting all of the strangers you had met on your journey, the extras that thought they had a shot with your greatness. They all wanted you in ways that made Astarion seethe. And the desire from others wasn't even the kind that he was used to, the kind he understood like the back of his hand. Because you didn't need to seduce to cultivate desire. All you needed to stoke the flames was merely your presence. Experiencing you was all that was required for people to know they wanted more.

Astarion knew that the others weren't just looking for a bedmate, they wanted you for the same reasons he had grown to. Your empathy, your desire to understand those around you. Your fearlessness, your infuriating habit of always trying to do the right thing. They wanted you for your laugh, the way your eyes would crinkle in the corners when your smile was too wide. Your silly jokes, your endless hopefulness for a future. It felt as though everyone around saw you for the gem that you were and it was... concerning. Extremely concerning.

Astarion hated thinking about things like this. He loathed admitting the truth to himself even more. But he was...terrified of losing you to someone else. Especially since it could so easily be done. He was so very lucky that you weren't the brightest, or at least not when it came to matters of the heart. You could do so much better than him, a fact that was incredibly obvious to everyone around you. Everyone but you, a luck that Astarion did not take lightly. But how much time did he have before it ran out? Would it ever?

Perhaps it was delusional, but he was starting to think when all of this was over, assuming neither of you perished anyway, that...it could just be the two of you. Living together, exploring the world, even if it had to be under the cloak of night. Maybe... maybe the two of you could even find a cure for his unsavory condition. The thought itself was incredibly stupid, but then again, it was just as idiotic to believe that there was a cure to the Mind Flayer parasite. But here they were, closer then ever. And if that was such an impossibility turned into reality, perhaps a vampiric cure wasn't so impossible. Or maybe even finding an alternative method for immortality for you, without the downsides of his own. Anything that could just keep you both together, for as long as possible. It was an unrealistic dream, that would never come into fruition. If anything it was dangerous, so very dangerous to even entertain the thought of forever. Especially when your connection was so tenuous.

Astarion would never be stupid enough to thank Cazador for anything but...he'd be lying if he said he wasn't appreciative for his own lack of subtly when it came to seducing you. Even if it originally was for distasteful reasons, it still got him ahead of the pack. If he had been less calculating, less astute, there was a sincere chance that you would be warming someone else's bed at night. Callousness would never be without it's uses, even if it led to uncomfortable situations like his current infatuation.

What would he do when you inevitably wanted to leave? How could he survive after having something so...good. Someone so caring, someone who for some very horrifying reason liked being around him. And the sex... it was fabulous. He was a massive fan of your intimacy, when he was capable of participating in it. He adored it, he adored you, your beauty, the sweet noises he could coax from your mouth, the europhia of being inside of you. Then there was the fact that you could be intimate without any traces of it devolving into lovemaking. He had never been gifted with the ability to say no before, so often and so freely without a single fear of punishment. If anything, it felt like he was rewarded when he was honest with you, when he would share his sudden fits of discomfort in his own body, the memories that plagued him and doomed him to staying stubbornly soft. You would never get angry, never even disappointed. You would just listen and smile, always adorable when you would ask, "But I can stay for a cuddle, can't I?"

An extremely silly question, considering the two of you hadn't spent a night apart from each other since you'd made it to the Shadowlands. Yet it never failed to make him melt.

It was getting worse, these feelings. He just wanted you around, by his side, constantly. Constant enough for him to get the ridiculous urge to hiss at anyone else who dared to come near you. He felt an intense need to protect the closeness the both of you had cultivated, the kind that he had never been allowed before. He had no interest in sharing you with your own friends when it came down to it, let alone another lover.

Which is precisely why his original, mild distaste for Halsin turned into a full-blown hatred the night he had the gall to proposition you.

It had felt like a shard of ice going through his chest when you bounded over to him, laughing about one of his greatest fears coming much too close to reality, "You won't believe the conversation Halsin and I just had-"

"Ah, I was wondering when you were going to ask me about that," Astarion laughed, purposefully interrupting you. He had no desire to hear the specifics of that conversation. He didn't even want to be having this conversation, where you were inevitably going to ask if it was okay to explore someone else.

The answer was no. Never would he be okay with it, allowing someone else to be close to what should have been his. But he needed to think strategically here. To say no could be disasterous. If it became a game of choice between him and Halsin... he's almost certain he would lose. Halsin was everything he wasn't; caring, giving, sharing in your worldviews in a way that Astarion never could. He couldn't risk it, he wouldn't. Having you at all was better than nothing.

"But I'd never even consider something like that-"

"It's fine," Astarion interrupts again, the fakest smile he can muster plastered on his face. The pain was worth the risk mitigation, he was sure of that. But... he still had to ask, "But is this because we haven't...y'know, in awhile?"

A sick part of him prays that you'll say yes. Because if that's the reason, he could do something about it. He could force himself if need be to always tend to your needs. Especially if it meant keeping you to himself. It was such a small sacrifice in comparison to the rest of his life. He would do it in a heartbeat if you demanded, anything to just make you stay.

But that was not the answer he received. Instead you frowned, looking him up and down, "What? No, I-Astarion no. Please don't think that. What we have together is so special to me. The physical part of it is lovely, perfect even. But...it's not what we are."

It's almost comforting to hear you say that. But then why did that make the situation feel so much worse? If it wasn't sex you were after then that certainly meant you wanted more with Halsin as well, did it not? But it was too late to rescind it now.

Astarion nodded, a confused mixture of hurt and gratefulness swirling through him, "I just needed to know. But if you're satisfied with me and just want to explore, go right ahead. I'll be here when you're done."

You nodded slowly, brow furrowed when you asked, "So...we aren't exclusive then?"

"No, of course not," Astarion confirmed, ignoring everything inside of him that was screaming for him to take it all back, "We can be as open as you'd like."

"I see..." You said, trailing off with a frown. You coughed into your hand, looking up at him sharply. Sharp enough for him to be sincerely confused, "Does this mean that you'll be speaking to me before you explore your other options?"

"I-yes? If you want?" Astarion answered, a new type of unease settling in his chest. You didn't seem very happy with this conversation, despite his best attempts to give you what you wanted. Where had he gone wrong? Was he already working to throw you into the arm's of another man, without even trying?

You were still frowning at him, your look cold in a way that made him feel particularly ill, "Please do. I'd like to know everything. I'm going to speak to Halsin, get this all sorted. We can talk later."

And then you were spinning on your heel and marching away, like Astarion was the offensive party here. It made no sense. He had done it all right, hadn't he? Agreed to it immediately, didn't make you feel guilty, had tried to be what you wanted. How had he failed?

He didn't wait around to see you go to Halsin. Instead he went straight back to his tent, closing the flap as he laid down. Great. Fantastic. Now he would have to be aware, perhaps even hear you being with another, while simultaneously reliving that horrid conversation in his head for the entire night. The hurt and worry was making his mind wander to uncomfortable places. Perhaps...Halsin could be dealt with in another way if things became too serious between the two of you.

Would poisoning the man be too extreme?

But before Astarion had the time to start thinking of a more detailed plan he was interrupted. Suddnely, moonlight was filling his tent, with your silleoute shining in the darkness.

He blinked up at you, confused, "What are you doing here?"

You frowned at him, looking hesitant in the entry way, "Should I not be? I thought-I can go if you'd like."

"No!" Astarion blurted out, loud and desperate enough to make him cringe. He cleared his throat, trying again, his voice still a touch too pitiful for his liking, "No, no, come here darling. Of course you're always welcome. I just assumed you would be busy."

To his relief you listened, crawling into the bedroll next to him. Astarion didn't waste any time in wrapping his arms around you, relieved to humiliating degrees that you had chosen to come back after the deed. Though...you didn't quite smell as he had thought you would. There were no traces of the floral, woodsy smell of the druid on your skin. Just the sweet, pleasant scent that he had grown so fond of.

You sighed as he tucked you against him, the warmth of you enough to make him relax for the first time that night. You laid together in a pleasant quiet, one that Astarion was actually scared to disturb. Despite the fact that he desperately wanted to know what happened between the two of you.

But you broke the silence for him, muttering into his chest after the two of you were settled, "I'm...sorry for being snappish earlier. I shouldn't have been. You didn't do anything wrong, and I know I don't own you. I shouldn't have assumed."

Astarion frowned, pulling back to get a proper look at your face. You looked hurt, sad even. Like you were the one who had gotten their heart broken. He could feel a curl of distaste settling in his stomach, annoyed that this felt as though the situation was being placed back to him. He had played his part, perfectly. What more could you ask for? What was there to assume?

"I'm not sure I understand what you mean," Astarion carefully said, his eyes fixed on every micro expression on your face, "What did I do that could have been construed as incorrect?"

"Nothing!" You rushed to say, shame coloring your cheeks, "I was being stupid. You never promised me anything. I just...assumed. Wrongly that we were something we aren't."

That didn't-he-what? Astarion frowned at her, his confusion evident on his face, "What did you think we were?"

You looked uncomfortable, avoiding his gaze when you answered, "I thought that we were...together. Alone. Just us. But if that's not what you want I understand. It's fine-"

"What in the hells are you talking about?" Astarion blurted out, his anger and pain bubbling to the surface, "I haven't done a thing. And we were just us before you decided to galivant off with a bear of a man!"

He regretted the words as soon as they were out of his mouth. So much for playing things safely. No, he couldn't even have the self-control to stay quiet. He always had to ruin everything.

But surprisingly, you didn't look angry. If anything you seemed just as confused as he felt, "What? I didn't-we didn't do anything! When did I say I wanted to do anything with Halsin? You were the one saying you didn't care!"

You weren't making any damn sense, "Well why else would you ask me about it?"

"I didn't!" You huffed, glaring at him, "All I was going to say was that he asked me. And I wanted your help on how to best turn him down! And then you jumped at the chance to push me onto someone else-"

"I did nothing of the sort!" Astarion seethed back, "If it was up to me you would never look at another man again! Or woman for that matter!"

It was an odd feeling, to be arguing while holding each other so closely. But Astarion had no intention of letting you go anytime soon, even if he could feel you squirming against his ironclad grip when you fumed at him, "Then why would you say it was okay?!"

"Because I don't want you to leave me!" He shouted back, loud enough to snap him out of his own anger. All of his fury was instantly replaced with fear. Gods, why had he felt the need to say that? To lay his biggest insecurity out on the line. Why not just hand you a stake while he was at it, since he was so eager to give you the tools to destroy him.

But you were still seething, hissing back at him, "Why praytell, would I leave the man I've been in love with for months? Hm? Please, explain it to me!"

Astarion couldn't. He was too busy being shell-shocked at the confession, feeling too many emotions at once. Joy, relief, somehow even more fear than before. You so freely said the words that he had done his damndest to bury, to ignore. But now they were out there, filling him with a horrifying joy.

He wanted to say it back. He did. But he couldn't get the wrecthed words out. Instead he was just staring at you like an imbeicle, his mouth hanging opening at the confession.

But his silence didn't make you falter. Instead you looked determined, near fierce as you grasped his face into your warm hands, "I love you Astarion. You don't have to say it back. That's not what this is about. But I want you. And only you. If you want the same of me then you must tell me. Now."

Astarion let his hands flutter over your wrists, humiliating tears prickling at his eyes. But at least his vocal chords allowed him to answer you this time, "I do. So much more than you know. I want us. Just us. No one else."

The words were flowing out of him, too fast and sincere for him to make the appropriate edits in his head. He was saying too much, feeling too much, giving too much. But the way your eyes brightened at his words, the way you grinned at him before pulling him in for a sweet kiss made it suddenly feel like he wasn't giving anything up at all.

As much as he loathed to admit it, Astarion was exceedingly grateful for Halsin's existence after that night. He would never have had the gall to demand you to himself without a trigger, without the anger you both shared at being misunderstood. Because now, you were his. His alone, the proclamation coming from your own lips. And he was free to stop hiding how much he had wanted it. How willing he was to do anything to keep it. He let himself off his own leash after that, leaning completely into the mutual ownership you had of each other. No more would he silently sit back and seethe as a stranger flirted with you. No, now he'd be upfront and center, with a possessive hand around your waist as he glared them down, more than prepared with a confidence-shattering quip on his tongue.

He started to let all of his urges seep through, taking full advantage of your willingness. If Wyll looked at you for too long at the fire, with a touch of something that Astarion didn't like in his eyes, he'd effortlessly pull you into his lap onlookers be damned as breathed you in. If Gale suddenly had a suspect offer to teach you some new magic in a secluded location, Astarion would invite himself, impervious to any glares sent his way. And when he felt as though all of them were being a bit too flirtaious, he was more than happy to put them in their places at night. Spending hours upon hours making you scream his name in bed from pleasure, loud enough for everyone to hear and know exactly who you belonged to.

He couldn't care less if it added to his own unpopularity amongst their merry-band of rejects. Their opinions didn't matter. Not when you were eating all of the sudden attention up.

You let him do it all because you understood him, in ways that no one else had bothered to before. You knew who he was, what he wanted, the extent to how much he craved your attention. And you let it all happened, reveled in it even. The intense shows of affection. Because you loved him. And he loved you. And one of these days he'd allow himself to admit the obvious.

But for now, he had what he wanted. What he needed. And in the first time in his life, even with disgusting tadpoles squirming his his brain, Astarion was actually...happy.

[johnbrand]

This or That

“Wait, what did you say this game was called again?” Christopher asked.

“‘This or That’!” Felix replied, obviously excited. All day he had waited to try out this new personality-quiz app, having received a plethora of positive reviews from friends, coworkers, and online. As soon as his shift was up, he rushed back to the small apartment he shared with his loving boyfriend. The smoother, slimmer Christopher was surprised by his partner’s sudden enjoyment and fascination as the app finished its download.

“How does it work?”

“It’s simple,” Felix, more of a twunk vers than an actual top, replied. “Apparently the game offers you different options, red or blue, this or that. You keep filtering down before it lands on a hyper-specific personality type.”

Christopher shrugged, “Sounds simple enough, but why is it so popular?”

“It’s supposed to be like freaky accurate.” Felix opened the app and entered CHRISTOPHER into the flashing box. “I’ve been hearing about it all day, but I wanted to try it with you.”

Christopher blushed at that, watching as the first prompt came in. The app wished to know who was filling out the survey: “This” was the person themselves, “That” was another person. Felix pushed “That”.

“So you’re filling it out for me?” Christopher asked, a little bummed.

“And you’ll do mine,” Felix assured, moving past the next prompt. The first few waves were the simple ones: male or female, old or young, rich or comfortable. Christopher laid back into the couch they were both seated on, grabbing a remote and searching for a “The Real Housewives…” title. On Felix’s end, he eventually landed on a question regarding sexuality.

THIS: Heterosexuality or THAT: Homosexuality

Felix’s finger tapped “That”, but unlike before the next prompt did not appear. For some reason, the "That" option did not respond and proceed forward. He tapped it again, and again, and kept doing so until Christopher noticed.

“I think my screen may have frozen?” Felix explained. To check, he tapped the “This” option. His face skewed slightly as it accepted, moving forward.

“Is it working again, dude?” Chris asked, not looking up from his phone.

“Uh…yeah,” Felix gulped, hoping the error would not severely impact the results. He was already a good amount in, and he did not want to make his roommate wait. Felix reviewed the next prompt.

THIS: Alpha or THAT: Beta

Felix knew the answer, but something told him to go with the other option. He had already messed up, so maybe it would be funny to purposely skew further. Thinking it could be a good laugh, Felix considered manipulating the quiz to manufacture the opposite. Cautiously, he pressed the “This” option, moving on.

“God, these hags are annoying…” Chris mumbled, his voice a little deeper than usual as he switched channels to something more interesting. The loud rowdiness of a football game’s broadcast quickly filled the room, but all Felix could focus on was his phone. To his surprise, after the last tap, the app had begun to filter through its own prompts on its own. Felix’s eyes tried to follow as the screen flashed with new questions and answered them accordingly.

THIS: Masculine-Leaning or THAT: Feminine-Leaning

THIS: Monoracial or THAT: Multiracial

THIS: Strong or THAT: Meek

THIS: Arrogant or THAT: Reserved

THIS: Excitable or THAT: Laid-Back

THIS: Selfless or THAT: Authoritative

THIS: Traditional or THAT: Progressive

Each of the answers clicked by without Felix being able to alter a thing. He could not even exit the app. Desperate, Felix stood up and moved towards the kitchen, hoping to grab his laptop in order to look up some kind of solution. But before he made it, the app suddenly stopped, presenting Felix with the results.

“With 100% accuracy, This or That reports that CRISTOBAL is: AVERAGE STRAIGHT MALE.”

Felix stood stunned, taking a breath and slowly reentering reality. Still on the couch and now manspreading as much as possible, Chris’s focus appeared to be solely on the cheerleaders performing their half-time show. Felix’s own focus soon shifted to be solely on his straight roommate’s cock, the massive schlong becoming chubby thanks to the tit-tastic routine on the television.

“Bro? Come on!” Chris’s rich, masculine voice snapped Felix out of his lustful gaze. “I hate it when you do that gay stuff, it’s annoying.”

“Oh…uh sorry…” Something felt wrong, like Felix was forgetting something.

“You can be a fag or whatever, it doesn’t matter to me,” Chris’s slight cringe said otherwise. “But you can’t just perv on my goods man.”

Felix nodded quickly, blushing furiously.

“By the way, you’ll need to stay in your room again tonight. Finally convinced this chick from stats to come over and ‘study’. She doesn’t know the only thing she’ll be studying is all 8 inches of my man meat.”

His straight roommate smirked cockily at his own joke, adjusting himself proudly. Felix tried his best not to sneak a look and obediently exited to his room. As soon as his door was shut, Felix gave his throbbing cock a tug, hoping Chris’s study partner would be arriving soon.

[buckyalpine]

hey shay! what do you think about steve and sam betting that bucky cannot date the newest avenger for like two months without falling in love with her. and, of course, he accepts, and asks her out, all in the hopes of winning.

(plot twist: he is a dumbass and a fucking simp because he falls hella hard in like the first month. she’s basically his soulmate and his dream girl. absolutely perfect. he dreams of their marriage and children and cannot wait to make it a reality. and steve and sam are beyond happy for him, and the three decide never to speak of the bet ever again.)

but fast forward to their first anniversary together, and she finds out that the only reason why bucky ever paid any attention to her, and asked her out, was because of the bet. and it leaves her absolutely heartbroken and destroyed, to the point that she debates asking for a transfer. because of course the only way the legendary sergeant james buchanan barnes would ever notice her is because of a bet. pfft! how big of an idiot she is!

(and we see bucky do some seriously grovel. because he cannot lose the love of his life. his baby. his everything. his sunshine in the dark. the reason for his existence.)

maybe steve and sam join in to help him? because they adore her as well, and they know how much bucky needs her.

YESSSS YES YESSSSS. I am here for the angst and the fluff, I love this because we all love a break up make up situation.

"100 bucks"

"No"

"Okay, 150"

"Why are we doing this"

"200"

"...why"

"Because we know for a fact, there's no way you'd be able to date the new recruit for two full months-

"-without falling in love, you can't actually fall for her"

Sam and Steve looked at Bucky intently while the soldier cocked an eyebrow, the three of them lounging in the common room after a morning briefing to meet their newest team mate.

"You're both willing to pay me $200 just to date y/n without falling in love?" Bucky deadpanned staring at his two best friends, both with matching shit eating grins.

"What's wrong Barnes, scared you'll get your wittle heart broken?" Sam egged him on only to be met with a cocky smirk from the brunette.

"That's not a problem because I don't date" Bucky shrugged, happy to win easy money if all he had to do was ask the new girl out and date her for a bit without actually catching feelings.

He was never really the relationship type; the charm he used to have in the 40's was slowly making its way back and it was perfect for when he needed a quick fix. Long term was never his thing and he wasn't about to start now but he also wasn't going to turn down a bet when his friends seemed so keen.

Besides, his pride was on the line and it was only two months.

"So let me get this straight. I date her for 2 months-"

"No falling in love with y/n"

"-no falling in love and you pay me?"

Sam and Steve nodded while Bucky got up, shaking their hands to seal the deal. He already mapped out a plan to ask the new girl out, mentally deciding on an easy break up speech for when the inventible comes.

"Two months white panther"

"Wolf"

"Two months"

"Easy"

****

Bucky knew he was screwed after the first date. Just the first date. When he first asked her out, she gave him a shy giggle and he knew he wanted to hear that sound again. And again. And again. She gave him a little nod, shuffling on her feet and for a moment, Bucky regained his confidence. There was no way he'd have anything in common with someone so shy and quiet, winning the best was going to be a breeze.

Until she came down in a sun dress, ready to go out for for their date and she smelled like peaches and cream and there was that fucking giggle again when he got ice cream on his nose when they shared a sundae. Her hands were so soft when she swiped her thumb over his little mess, cleaning him off with a tissue while he blinked.

"You're so adorable, sarge" She gave him a bashful smile and his cheeks couldn't have possibly blushed more, his heart beating strangely fast. He wasn't really too sure what to do, usually it was him making girls turn into puddles of shy messes but her he was, more tongue tied that ever.

He wasn't sure what it was.

Maybe it was the fact that she asked him about the 40's, something he rarely got to talk about. Maybe it was the way she listened to him intently while he got lost in his memories, recalling happier times, the both of them laughing over stories about scrawny Steve before the serum. He'd been on plenty of dates before but none of them were like this.

(It didn't matter though, his main goal never left his sight...not really)

He asked her out again and he immediately put his hand to his stomach when she showed up in her workout clothes since he'd offered to train with her before their scheduled date. He'd fully intended to take control over the situation, gain the upper hand again by making her all sweet and shy with his subtle touches but nope.

Here he was with butterflies dancing madly around his tummy when she smiled brightly as soon as she walked through the gym doors; his train of thought long gone when as she dropped her towel beside his. He flipped her with ease, her much smaller form blinking up at him as he caged her under him. He didn't even have it in him to throw her a wink or a flirty smirk, giving her soft puppy eyes instead and helping her to her feet.

To his own surprise, he didn't even try to make a move to get her in bed.

He couldn't.

Not when he was genuinely enjoying conversation with her. Not when she looked at him with such trust and care not to break her heart. Not after she'd confided in him that she felt safe with him after about a month of dating. Bucky's mind, which was usually filled with filth and fucking was now filled with thoughts of her in a pretty white dress, walking down the aisle, ready to say I do. He thought about how adorable their babies would look, how beautiful she'd look pregnant, she was his dream girl, how he couldn't wait for the day it'd all really happen, he was falling in love for the first time in his life-

He. Was. Screwed.

****

"M'gonna marry her"

"What"

"What?" Bucky blinked back at his friends with wide eyes, not realizing he'd said that out loud; the three of them sitting around the living room again since you had gone out for a girls night with Nat and Wanda.

"Come again, what was that?" Sam grinned, sitting up straighter from where he'd been sprawled out on the floor while Steve nudged Bucky with his shoulder.

"Nothing" Bucky mumbled but the blush on his cheeks spread up to his ears.

"AWWWW" Sam howled while Bucky buried his face in his hands, "BUCKY HAS A CRUSH"

"You like her, huh punk" Steve grinned, not needing verbal confirmation from his best friend; both him and Sam saw the way Bucky started falling for you from day 1, not standing a chance of winning their bet.

"I do" Bucky smiled shyly, not bothering with a snarky retort, not when he'd fallen so hard for you the second he heard your laugh. No one bothered to bring up the bet again, the entire thing long forgotten. Sam and Steve couldn't have been happier when they saw Bucky's eyes light up every time he looked at you. You'd tumbled into the living room along with Nat and Wanda behind you, giggling and falling into the soldiers lap, nuzzling into him like a kitten between tipsy kisses.

Sam could've sworn he saw Steve flick away a tear, the both of them watching Bucky grin like a little kid with the biggest crush, melting into a puddle instantly with you in his arms.

"Hey Sarge" You gave him a hazy smile, sighing contently when he kissed your forehead and scooped you right up, holding you to his chest. "Missed you"

"Let's get you to bed babygirl" Bucky whispered, carefully taking care of you, changing you into one of his Henley's and completing your skin care routine since you couldn't in your drunken state. He kissed you good night, pulling the covers up and holding you close to him the entire night.

Nothing compared to the soft puppy he became whenever you were near him and it wasn't exactly a well kept secret. No one failed to notice the way he was head over heels in love with you. With each passing day Bucky loved you more, doing everything in his power to keep you happy, to protect you with his entire heart, there's was no way, absolutely no way, he'd every do anything to hurt you or lose you.

Ever.

One Year Later

You stretched, blinking at the sun that peeked through the curtains, feeling extra warm, cuddled up with you boyfriend who was the human form of a furnace. You were in no hurry to get out of bed, burying your face into his bare chest instead, breathing in his scent, humming contently when his thick arms wrapped you impossibly closer.

"Happy anniversary my love" Bucky whispered, his eyes still closed, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. He couldn't believe a full year had gone by since you'd stolen his heart. A full year filled with kisses and giggles and softness. There wasn't a day that had gone by where Bucky wasn't a complete simp for you (he'd picked out a wedding ring within month three and had it hidden somewhere in his room by month 6).

"Happy anniversary handsome" You kissed his chest where his heart beat steadily, giggling when he pinned you under him, attacking you with a flurry of feathery light kisses, "Bucky stop!" You squealed with laugher as he wrapped you tightly and let his scruffy cheeks tickle your shoulders, the both of you tangled in his sheets, having a lazy morning.

"I love you" He whispered into your hair, sneakily slipping his hands up your over sized shirt, his cool metal fingers stroking down your spine making you shiver. "So much, bella"

"I love you, Jamie" Your cheeks heated up and the sweet name he had just for you, only reluctantly getting out of bed after Nat had practically dragged you out of bed to go shopping. You didn't want to do anything but cuddle with Bucky all day but the red head didn't care, happily evading your privacy to barge into the room and whisk you away, throwing back a wink when Bucky mouthed a silent thank you.

Bucky had planned out the perfect anniversary, something he'd thought out for weeks. The compound would be empty so it would just be the two of you; he'd cook dinner himself, have some songs playing from the 40's with a juke box he'd managed to get his hands on and spent the entire night letting you know how deeply in love he was with you. He didn't care how cheesy it was, buying out an entire florist shop to cover the room and terrace with your favorite flowers, having some suspended from the high ceilings along with petals strewn on the floor.

He'd pull out all the rom com stops for you, giving everyone a task to keep you busy so he could set up for the night. Nat had been tasked with keeping you away until evening, only bringing you back in time for dinner. Sam and Steve spent the whole day hanging and putting up flowers, lighting candles and listening to Bucky ramble about how much he adored you. Tony worked on lighting and sound, tinkering with the music and setting it up outside.

To say you were surprised was an understatement. Nat had blind folded you as soon as you got back and instructed you to put on the dress that had been laid out in your room. You had no idea what she was talking about until you found a floor length gown along with a note sitting on top of your bed.

See you at 8 tonight my bella

Happy 1 year Anniversary,

Yours forever,

JBB x

You didn't waste a second, hopping into the shower, doing your makeup and spraying on your perfume that you knew he loved so much. You slipped the dress on along with some heels before making your way down to the now dimmed lights, the soft glow of candles warming the room.

You gasped as soon as your eyes landed on Bucky, standing head to toe in all black, a dashing smile on his face. He strode over to you, cupping your cheeks in his hands, pecking your lips sweetly, the scent of his cologne already making you woozy.

"You did all this for me?" You blinked back tears, his thumbs swiping them away .

"Anything for you doll" Bucky whispered, pulling you in for another kiss before leading you to the garden; a trail of rose petals covering the floor to the back terrace. Fairly lights twinkled, mixed in with the tiny stars that dotted the night sky; you didn't bother with sitting in your own seat, sitting in Bucky's lap instead while your both sipped on champagne.

It didn't take long for him to swoop you off your feet so he could sway with you instead, music playing softly in the background while he whispered sweet nothings, only sitting down again so he could feed you the dessert he'd spend the whole afternoon making for you.

"I can't believe you did all this for me Bucky" You said sincerely, holding his face in your hands, gazing into his soft blue eyes, "You're perfect my Jamie"

"You're my perfect gift doll"

"Oh! I have to get you your gift!" You realized you'd left it in your room between a spoon of chocolate cake Bucky was feeding you, hopping up from his lap to get it. You scurried off to your room, giddy over the present you'd put together for Bucky, the whole gift taking months of planning to get everything to come in time. You rummaged through your closet, grabbing the carefully wrapped box and returning to the hall, excited to see his face when he opened his present.

You passed by Steve's room stopping dead in your tracks at the words you heard, your feet suddenly unable to move.

"Can you believe this all started over betting he'd never fall for y/n?" Sam snorted, sitting on the couch in Steve's room, the both of them munching on the scraps of chocolate cake and sipping on beer while watching a movie.

"All over 200 bucks, remember he was so sure of himself"

You felt like you'd swallowed cotton, your mouth dry, finding it difficult to swallow. You wanted to turn back time, wishing you'd never heard that conversation, or maybe it was all a misunderstanding, Bucky would never do that, not your Bucky.

"Didn't you tell him he'd only have to date her for 2 months?"

"2 months and 200 dollars, terminator shook on it"

"He even had a break up speech ready"

You gripped tightly onto the present, dashing away from the room, unable to bear more of the conversation. Your heart was hammering out of your chest as you shakily made your way back to Bucky, it just couldn't be true.

Could it?

Did he really only ask you out because his friends made a bet with him?

Bucky smiled when he saw you return, opening his arms for you to slink onto his lap again. His smile disappeared when you kept your eyes down, fumbling with the gift in your hand, staying rooted in place in front of him instead of cuddling up with him like you always did.

"Baby? Is everything okay?" Bucky got up from his seat, carefully making his way over to you. He tipped your face up, surprised to find your eyes wet with unshed tears, the corners of your lips quivering with how hard you were trying to keep from crying.

"You-you promise you'll be honest with me?" You tried to keep your voice from cracking, afraid everything you'd imagined with Bucky would come crashing down if what you heard was true.

"Of course" Bucky felt his heart race seeing your glassy eyes and broken expression, what could have possibly happened in the few seconds you were gone "Bella, what's wrong"

"Did you only ask me out because of a bet?" You tried to keep from sniffling, your heart breaking at the guilt that immediately spread across Bucky's face.

"Doll, I-

"So it's true?" You whimpered, stepping away from the man you loved so much, feeling a whirlwind of emotions, the gift you clutched onto slipping from your grip and onto the floor, "It was just a bet with Sam and Steve?"

"Baby, please let me explain-" Bucky wanted nothing more than to reach out and wipe away the tears he caused, his own streaming down his cheeks when you moved further away from him.

"Please don't" You shook your head, wrapping your arms around yourself, not wanting to feel his touch you knew you'd instantly melt into. "Just don't James"

Bucky was ready to drop to his knees and beg for forgiveness, beg for you to call him all the sweet names reserved just for him but you dashed back into the compound, slapping your hand over your mouth to muffle your sobs.

"Sweetheart wait, please don't go, just let me explain baby, I love you so much" Bucky trailed after you, quickly swiping his dampened cheeks, catching you in the elevator just before it closed. "Y/n, I love you doll, I'm sorry, it started that way but-

"It's not your fault" You quickly wiped away the new wave of tears that stung your eyes, desperately pushing the button to take you to your room faster, "I-I should've known you wouldn't have been into me in the first place"

"Y/n, that's not true sweetheart, don't say that baby, please"

"I thought you really liked me, I-I didn't know someone had to pay you to date me"

You felt stupid, ridiculous, ashamed, how did you ever think someone like Bucky, the handsome ladies man from day one, would suddenly be into you, some random new trainee turned avenger. You weren't special, nothing about you stood out from others, there was no reason for him to give you attention.

It all made sense now, your heart splitting into two, biting hard on your lip to keep your cries down, you couldn't believe how stupid you'd been to think he actually liked you from the start.

"No baby, you had me from day one-"

"P-please don't l-lie to m-me" You hiccupped, making a bee line straight to you room as soon as the elevator doors opened, not looking back once. You locked your door before Bucky could catch up, ignoring his persistent soft knocks, begging for you to give him a chance to explain.

"Y/n, bella, please, open the door sweetheart, I love you, I promise truly love you so much, I'm so sorry baby, I need to talk to you, please" Bucky sniffled, his forehead pressed to your door in defeat, now letting the tears fall freely. He stayed rooted in place, slumping down with his head between his knees, running his hands through his short locks in frustration. The only thing he cared about was making you happy and he was the one who screwed it up.

You clutched onto your sheets, trembling as sobs wracked your body, thinking back to all the moments you thought were so sweet, moments where you thought you were both falling in love, now realizing they were nothing more than a ploy to get $200.

You remembered your first date, thinking about how cute Bucky looked with a tiny dollop of ice cream on his perfect nose, how nervous you were to swipe it off, your heart racing when you told him he looked adorable. It took every fiber of your very being to muster the courage to do that but it had meant nothing to him.

You had been stupid to think he liked you too when he asked you out again; you remembered the way your entire body felt like it had been lit on fire when he had you pinned you under him, growing bashfully shy when he helped you up onto your feet, everything a part of his plan to eventually dump you.

You felt ridiculous. You were not gorgeous like Natasha or enhanced like Wanda. What made you think the very Sergeant James Barnes would have his eye on you of all people.

You should have known.

-

"Do you hear that?" Steve paused the movie, hearing a muffled cry from the corridor, his brows furrowing at the sniffles that followed. Sam nodded with a frown, both men getting up and peering into the hallway, surprised to find the super soldier sitting against your door, eyes and nose red from crying.

"Bucky?" Steve was by his best friends side in an instant, kneeling before him, helping him up to onto his feet.

"What happened, where's y/n" Sam blinking hearing crying from inside your room, his stomach churning when Bucky shrugged, chewing on his trembling lip to keep from breaking down again. Bucky let Steve lead him into his room, sitting on the edge of the bed, gripping onto the sheets till they nearly tore.

"What the hell happened Buck"

"She found out bout the bet" Bucky whispered, fresh tears streaming down his face when he remembered how defeated you looked with betrayal. "She knows I asked her out because of it"

"Fuck" Sam hissed while Steve ran a hand over his face. They felt equally responsible for hurting you for having suggested the bet in the first place, also piecing together you must have over heard them when they were talking earlier. Steve was sick with guilt while Sam also slumped onto the couch, all three men feeling awful for hurting you.

"Did you talk to her?"

"She doesn't want to even look at me" Bucky shook his head before burying his face in his hands again, unable to stop from crying; there was a good chance he lost you forever and it was his fault.

"Just-just give her some time" Steve threw an arm over Bucky, while mentally hitting himself for being part of the mess, hoping you'd forgive his best friend who was deeply and utterly in love with you.

-

You woke up with a throbbing headache, staying in bed for longer than usual. You felt more embarrassed than the night before realizing others must have known the true nature of your relationship with Bucky. Not only did Bucky not really like you in the first place but he'd only even looked your way because he was sure he wouldn't fall for you.

You kept to yourself for the first few days. You'd managed to wake up earlier than everyone else so you could eat breakfast and train alone, only to eat dinner extra late after everyone had gone to sleep. It wasn't difficult given your skill set; you slinked about undetected, evading the other avengers every time they knocked on your door to check on you.

Bucky tried to find you every single day, spending each night falling asleep by your door, ignoring the worsening kink in his neck, hoping he'd get get to see you just once, one time so he could at least apologize to you properly.

Two full weeks had gone by and you some how only felt worse. You hated hearing Bucky cry when you walked by his room but then you'd remember what he did and you couldn't bring yourself to trust him again.

Bucky was a mess. He missed you more than anything; you were his baby, his soul mate, his beautiful sweet bella. He would've given anything just to see you walk down the hall way, anything to hear your voice even if it was you telling him off like he deserved. He wanted you to yell and scream at him, tell him what at ass hole he was, that he was the biggest jerk on the planet, that you hated him, he'd listen to it like it was music if he just got to see you again.

He got his hopes up when a new mission came up requiring all hands on deck; Tony called for a sudden meeting with the full team which meant everyone had to be there. Bucky ran off to the showers within seconds, scrubbing himself with body wash he knew you loved so much before throwing on a tight black t-shirt and jeans that made you all shy and giggly. He knew he was playing dirty, leaving the scuff on his face before spraying on a dash of cologne.

He had to look his best, even if it meant you'd throw your cute little kitten mug at his head. He nervously ran to the conference room, eyes flicking to each individual, his heart dropping when he didn't see you there.

"Damn Barnes" Tony whistled while Steve smiled sadly knowing his bestfriend was hoping to see you. "Who'd you clean up for"

"Where's y/n" Bucky's eyes were pleading with everyone, hoping someone would say you were just running late or that you weren't taking part in the mission.

"She's....she's at the head office" Tony sighed, "She wants a transfer"

"Damn it" Sam had now sat up while Bucky left the room with Steve following behind him. "He needs her, he really loves her"

"I-I can't lose her" Bucky sobbed, shaking his head, clutching onto the card you had given him on your anniversary. He'd read every word 100 times over, memorizing it to heart, careful not to crush the paper as he pressed it to his chest. "She's everything to me"

"Look, it's out fault too. We're the ones who suggested the stupid thing, we'll get her back" Steve gave him a reassuring squeeze and Sam nodded.

"I feel like shit man, the whole thing was meant to be a dumb joke, we love her too, we're not just gonna let her leave like this, not our y/n, okay? That's our girl"

"C'mon, lets go get your girl back, punk"

-

You frowned as you entered through the main doors of the compound, finding it unusually quiet when everyone should have been at home since they'd just gotten back from their mission. You felt conflicted after your meeting with Fury and Agent Hill, both of them asking you to reconsider your request to transfer. You told them you'd think about it but you were certain over your decision.

You couldn't face the team any more and your were too embarrassed to look at Bucky again. You didn't mind working in the office and starting over, figuring that would be the best way to mend your heart.

You made your way up to your room, a little red envelope sitting on your pillow catching your attention. You were wary as you opened it, your breath catching in your throat as you recognized the handwriting.

To my first and only love,

I don't deserve someone as sweet as you, but I can't bear the thought of you thinking I don't love you with my entire being. I know I don't deserve a second chance, but I need you to know it was always real.

Always.

I've kept it will hidden but it's time for you to see. It's in my favorite hiding spot for your eyes only.

With all the hugs and kisses in the worlds,

JBB

You knew exactly what spot Bucky was referring to, thinking back to the early days of when you were dating. On more than one occasion, Bucky had grabbed you into his closet, shutting the door when he wanted a few extra moments of privacy before a mission, showering you with 100's of kisses before eventually getting caught and dragged down to the hangar with a bashful grin on his face.

You reluctantly made your way to his room, letting out the breath you were holding when he wasn't inside. The scent of him alone already caused you to feel butterflies but you ignored them as you looked in the closet, finding a shoe box with another red envelope sitting on top for you to read.

To my sweet bella,

You had my heart from day one. You were never supposed to see any of this but you have to know. It's always been you.

Forever and only yours,

JBB

You sat on the floor of the closet as you carefully opened the box, inspecting its contents. Inside was an old, weathering diary with a receipt stuffed in the middle as a bookmark. You opened the page that was marked, surprised to find the receipt from the ice cream place you where you had your first date, the date of the entry a few days before he asked you out.

A new team mate has joined the group. Her name is y/n, y/l/n. She specializes in hand to hand combat and is a trained spy. Tony introduced us to everyone today. I wouldn't mind being her friend but I hope she isn't afraid of me, maybe she's just shy.

The next entry was from the day Sam and Steve made the bet

I doubt I'll forget this but I'm writing it down anyway. 2 months for 200 dollars. Seems stupid but what's the worst that could happen, it's not like she'd actually fall for me anyway.

Then there was the entry after your first date.

She's probably one of the sweetest people I've ever met; I don't want to forget this day, bet or not. She wore a sun dress and she laughed at all my jokes. She called me adorable. Her hands felt so soft. I'm sure its in her nature to be so kind but I wish it was just for me. Maybe I'll ask her out again.

A few days later.

I swear I'm falling in love with her more and more each day and she doesn't even have a clue. I don't know how to show her she's special to me, you'd think I'd be better at this. I hope one day she feels the same way.

And then

I love her. So much. Ma would have loved her. I hope one day she says yes.

You let out a wet laugh at the entries became sappier, each one detailing how hard he was falling for you, all the little details of your dates filling the pages, your heart breaking when you realized he wrote as much as he could remember so he'd never forget. He didn't mention the bet in any of the pages because he'd forgotten about it completely, fully focused on making you officially his.

The diary was sacred to him, a private place where he recounted his most precious memories, the one thing he'd never share with anyone but he decided to share it with you because you had to know. It was one of the few places he poured his heart and soul into with no filter, some of his darkest memories scrawled onto the pages but after he'd met you, it changed. Page after page filled with nothing but sweetness, pure and untainted love. You wiped the tears away, carefully placing the diary back in its proper hiding spot before making your way downstairs hoping to find him.

You found a trail of petals that hadn't been there earlier leading to the living room, walking to a very remorseful looking Sam, Steve and of course Bucky, all three men clutching onto teddy bears along with a blanket fort hoisted up in front of the large TV screen.

"What-what is all this?" You whispered, hesitantly walking towards them with Sam stepping forward first, wrapping you up in a bone crushing hug.

"We're really sorry sweetheart" Sam murmured into your hair, hugging you tightly against him, "we never wanted to hurt you, we love you baby, truly"

"You're special to us darling" Steve came over next, pressing a firm kiss to your head, his large arms holding you in a comforting embrace, "We're idiots, you didn't deserve that, don't leave because of us sweetheart, it's not the same without you"

"It's-its okay"

"It's not, we know it isn't but just know we really do love you, okay? Especially him" Steve whispered the last part with a small smile, looking over to his best friend who was anxiously shuffling on his feet, clutching the largest bear in his hands.

You hugged onto the two little teddies from Sam and Steve, kissing their cheeks before they quietly left you and Bucky alone for some privacy. You set them down on the sofa, suddenly feeling nervous when it was just you and Bucky, anxiety and embarrassment attempting to claw its way back up again.

"I'm so sorry bella" Bucky hesitantly reached out for you, scared you'd pull away, relief flooding his body when you allowed him to pull you in for a hug. "My pretty girl, m'so sorry, I didn't mean for it to happen baby"

"You-you really liked me after?" you felt silly for asking such a thing but you couldn't help it, you had to know, your soft doe eyes pleading with him to be honest with you, "You don't have to lie Bucky, it's okay if you didn't-

"You're breakin' my heart babygirl, of course I did. Of course I liked you sweets, I fell hard and fast for you, it would've happened with or without that stupid bed. I wouldn't have been able to resist that smile or that laugh, nothing would've kept me away from you"

Bucky scooped you into his arms and sat you down on his lap and he settled under the blanket fort, keeping you straddled on him while his hands wrapped around your waist.

"Believe me when I say you're the only girl I've ever fallen for, the only one I've ever wanted. I never ever wanted to hurt you baby and I'll spend the rest of my life making sure you never cry again, if you'd have me. I hate seeing you cry sweets, especially because of me. I just want to love you baby, please?"

His voice cracked at the end, bottom lip quivering as he nervously traced his thumbs along your hips. What if he lost you forever, he wouldn't know what to do with himself, not when he adored you so much.

"I love you y/n, you're my dream girl, my everything, no one else comes even close-"

You cut off his rambling, smashing your lips against his, a soft sob slipping past his lips between kisses as he desperately clung onto you.

"Do-do you forgive me?" Bucky sniffled, breathing out a sigh of relief when you pressed your forehead against his, nodding and slinging your arms around his shoulders. "Please say it angel, I-fuck-I'm so sorry, I missed you so much"

"I forgive you" you whispered, squeaking when Bucky pulled you to cuddle into the pile of pillows and blankets he'd laid out, wanting nothing more than to kiss and cuddle you between cute cheesy rom coms you loved so much. He smiled at the giggles you let out as he attacked you with unrelenting kisses again, breathing in your scent and feeling your body finally wrapped up with his again.

"I missed you so much angel"

"Missed you to Jamie" You kissed his nose, caressing his face as he nuzzled into the crook of your neck, knowing Sam and Steve were probably creeping from some corner. "I love you"

"Love you more bella" Bucky smiled, letting you pick a movie, pulling a fluffy blanket up to cover you both. "Loved you from day one"

[ijustwantogohomehogwarts]

l o o k | a t | m e

l o o k | a t | m e

Y/n and Tim are sharing a very intimate moment, and he wants nothing more than for her to look at him. Let's be honest, who doesn't want to look at him?!

Warnings and such: ummm yeahhhh....absolutely smutty...soft smut, but still smut! 18+ no minors. Some swearing and mentions of spit...definitely not proofread! let me know if I missed something?

A/N: I have a lot of smut written in general and I like it better than the soft stuff, but i like soft stuff! Not sure how I feel about this one so lmk!

ALSO: lmk what other tags i should add to these posts!

---------------------------------------------------------------------

"Look at me."

His voice was gentle but demanding, the echo of his words like a lifeline to drag me back to reality, out of this incoherent but beautiful headspace.

Look at me

Like a soft echo, something to focus on. His voice.

My back arched and hips rolled. I felt like I was on fire, and I was loving every moment of it. As I tried with any strand of willpower I had left to open my eyes, the vision of Timothée came into focus. He was beautiful. He was always beautiful, but this was a different kind of beautiful.

"Look at me," He repeated, smiling softly down at me.

With pleasure.

A few moments passed, or maybe a few hours, before my eyes grew heavy again, vision blurred as I fought against rolling my eyes back with pleasure.

I gasped loudly, a string of groans following instantly as he bent over me, his hips burrowing into mine as he thrusted deeper into me. My legs wrapped tightly around his lower back, hands clawing desperately at him. I thought, for a moment, I would die if I lost the feeling. He dropped to his elbows, caging me below him and began trailing sloppy kisses across my neck and chest, interrupted only by feverish pants and profanities which presented themselves as deep groans through gritted teeth.

"T-Tim," I gasped again, feeling his hips roll in an effort to get impossibly further inside me. My nails dug into his back before reaching for his shoulders.

I was desperate. I could feel it coursing through my body. Close wasn't close enough.

Sweat dampened curls bounced in front of my eyes and tickled my nose when he took a moment to look down at where our bodies met. That was one of his favorite sights in the world. My hand reached higher, tugging the hair at the top of his head- I needed his eyes on me. I needed him to watch me come undone beneath him. He obliged.

One hand snakes it's way under my shoulder, pulling me down to meet his thrusts. There was no way of possibly being any closer, but everything was worth a try. My hips rolled up again, head back and my shut tightly. I opened my mouth, desperate to scream out the tingling sensation that rumbled in my stomach, but nothing came out. My breath quickened and I managed a moan, but nothing near what I was feeling on the inside.

"Look...at me," Tim repeated, panting between thrusts. His arm left my shoulder, finger trailing lightly down my stomach until he reached the bundle of nerves I had between us. I didn't need to open my eyes to see the smirk on his face, but my eyes opened quickly at the warm feeling of fluid that wasn't my own landing just above where I needed him to touch me. I looked down and watched as he spit drooled again, thumb collecting it and pressing harshly against me.

I was done.

I screamed, legs shaking around him as my orgasm washed over me. He continued to fuck me through it, wave after wave of pleasure consuming my body. It was almost too much. Almost.

"Fuck!" He grunted loudly, fingers digging into my hips as he chased his own release.

The room was silent, aside from the two of us desperately trying to catch our breaths. There was no more moaning, groaning or echoing of skin against skin. I whimpered as he pulled out of me, the empty feeling consuming all of my thoughts. I hated it. Tim ran a finger up my slit, collecting whatever juices spilled out on the tip of his finger.

"Open,"

I did as I was told, the salty taste in my throat sent a new wave of excitement through my. I fought, again, to open my eyes, to take in the sight of him- sweaty and restless and fucked. Though heavy eyelids I watched him stand, pull on a pair of long forgotten boxers and run his hands though his hair. He smiled when he caught sight of me staring.

"Pretty baby," He whispered, climbing back in bed and straddled my still shaking hips. "you alright?"

"Mhmm," I mumbled, not sure if I could remember how to talk.

He smiled and bent over me, feather light kisses trailing across my face, down my neck and across my collarbones. His hair, once again, ticking my nose. I ran my fingers gently up and down his back, soothing the raised lines and crescent shaped bumps I had left against his skin. They'd be gone my morning, almost entirely anyway, but for the rest of the night, each touch was reminder and heated my body with excitement and anticipation.

"Come on," his voice echoed in my ears again as he spoke, climbing off of me again. "Let's get cleaned up."

I didn't move. I couldn't. I wanted more.

"Y/n," He cooed again. "Look at me..."

[hees-mine]

DESTROYED - L. HEESEUNG

Pairing: heeseung ⚥ reader

Warnings: suggestive, crying, blood, violence, touching without consent, reader says no. This is rushed so i apologize in advance for errors.

Genre: 18+, smut, Minors do not interact!

WC: 2,533k

PART ONE PART TWO

⟱⟱⟱

Avoiding heeseung was now a daily routine for you.

It went from trying to get as close to him as possible to keeping as much distance from him as possible.

You nearly skipped your shared class with him everyday cause his aura alone made a chill run down your spine.

The most you’ve seen of him was a small glimpse of the worn Nike’s that’d he’d wear to school everyday.

You know you probably shouldn’t even notice him or look for him at all but avoidance was easy acceptance wasn’t.

Avoiding him was easy cause the last thing you wanted to do was run into him alone again.

But acceptance was hard cause you didn’t want to believe the guy you secretly loved from afar wasn’t a guy worth loving.

The scenarios that you made up in your head about him were so far from reality.

There were polar opposites and even knowing what kind of person he is it’s still hard to move on from something that’s been a part of your life for so long.

But eventually, you’ll have to come to terms with it cause this wasn’t another one of your unrealistic scenarios. He was someone to stay far away from, and the bruises on your neck were proof of that.

-

Heeseung watched you walking the school halls pitifully a smile creeping up to his lips cause now you’re smart enough to know better than to get anyone near him.

He must admit it is a bit strange that you even approached him to begin with cause since he’s been in the neighborhood you’re the first and only person to acknowledge him or try to befriend him.

He kept his distance from people purposefully cause he simply wanted to be alone.

It’s better for him that way.

He doesn’t want to talk or even to be seen if he had a choice then he’d stay hidden away from everybody.

Heeseung had just wrapped up his classes for the day and stepped out of the school building heading in the direction of the woodsy path that led back to his home.

You weren’t the only one that took that route he’d often see you but he’d never show himself for obvious reasons.

The path was his favorite cause not only was it a shortcut to home, but he also avoided all the other schoolgoers as well.

As he walks the path, the sound of small twigs cracking under his shoe gives him a sense of satisfaction.

He took a few more calculated steps listening to the dried up leafs crunching with every stride there was one big lead in particular and he was anticipating the sound right as his foot came in contact with the aged leaf the sound of laughing in the woods ruined the suspense of his endeavor his head snapping up toward the sound.

There was nothing in his line of vision. He stopped and listened, looking around for something or someone in the distance, and then he heard it again, but this time, he also heard the sounds of someone crying.

He walked in the direction of the noise getting closer and closer to the sounds until a group of three men entered his vision.

It had been a full month since you had been avoiding heeseung, and you thought it was safe to say he’d leave you alone for good now, so you started to take your old trail back home, assuming he wouldn’t be bothering you out here again.

And Well, there was no sign of heeseung. There were three older men standing in front of you, blocking your path when you got maybe halfway into the woods.

There was never anyone out here ever.

Until today.

And today just so happened to be your lucky day.

You tried to politely tell them off, but they didn’t listen. Of course, they didn’t listen.

They badgered you continuously despite you telling them you were not interested. They circled you like hungry wolves against their prey, poking and prodding you, pulling your hair, and saying the nastiest things to you.

You were paralyzed with fear, praying someone would save you, and just when one of the men was going to grab you and do, god only knows what, you heard a male voice shout. “Hey!”

The three men look up in the direction of the voice, your eyes soon following there’s, and even though Lee heeseung had just assaulted you in these same woods, somehow, you’ve never been happier to see his face.

“What do you want boy can’t you see we’re busy?” One of them says and you cringe slowly backing away from them.

“Can’t you see I don’t give a fuck? Leave before I run out of patience,” one of them scoffs, and heeseung is just waiting for them to give him a reason to do what he’s been itching to do since the moment he saw them.

“See, unlike you, we don’t have patience. We see what we want, and we take no matter what’s in our way,” the ring leader says and pokes heeseung on the chest with his index finger. Within a second, he’s face down on the ground, groaning in pain.

You flinched from the sudden show of violence and coward down next to a tree, your eyes flicking back and forth from the men and heeseung.

Everything flashed before your eyes so quickly you spaced out, and when you finally got to take a second to breathe and take everything in, heeseung was the only man standing. The rest were covered in blood, rolling in pain, and you’re sure some of their bones were broken with the way heeseung repeatedly hit them with a thick wooden branch.

He didn’t even have a scratch on his face, just the look of pure rage in his eyes as his bloody fists shook with anger.

Your eyes were riddled with fear looking at him. You never thought a savior could look so deranged.

You backed away from him when he came near you and reached his hand out for you to take.

He stood up straight, looking at you with a hardened expression. He didn’t wait for you to take his hand. Rather, he took yours, yanking you off the ground as you kept your distance.

Just cause he saved you, that didn’t mean you weren’t still frightened by him cause you knew he was capable of harming you, too. He’d already done it once.

He walks within a foot’s distance his arm attempting to grab at your waist so he can lead you out of the woods and you pushed his hands away fearfully.

“Are you fucking kidding right now? I save you from a group of fucking assholes, and you push me away?” He says as if he hasn’t harmed you before.

You took calm breaths and never made eye contact with him.

Your silence ticks him off, and he forcefully grips your face. “You know, I thought you’d be smart enough not to take this path again after what happened last time.”

Tears well in your eyes at the thought of what happened last time and your body is filled with even more fear as you try to move your head out of his grip.

“Fucking mute thought you were a bit smarter than that” he turns around, leaving you in the woods with the unconscious bodies on the ground. You took a peek at them, got up, and ran home as fast as possible.

-

Despite earlier events and your better judgment when nightfall hit you decided to take a walk cause you just needed a break especially after your mother tore into you when you showed up late.

Your life had just been terrible recently, and every small thing felt magnified from the way heeseung treated you.

You didn’t tell your mom what happened you know she wouldn’t care the only thing she cared about was how quickly you’d come home so you could run to the corner store and buy her another bottle.

It has always been that way since you can remembe-

Your train of thought was broken when you heard loud voices in the near distance. They were screaming sounded, almost like fighting.

You stopped in your tracks a few blocks down, and you could see two men standing outside in front of their house. “Mom, go inside,” heeseung says.

“Yeah, go inside, dear. I’d hate for you to see me wreck your boy,” his dad drunkenly chuckles.

What happened today was just a Kickstarter for heeseung to do what he should have done a long time ago, but now he was ready to do what needed to be done. Him and his mother had endured enough stress and pain at the hands of his father, and it was finally time to put an end to this.

Right here.

Right now.

You saw one of the men throw a punch landing straight on the other man’s face and you flinched.

Flashes from heeseung fighting off those men earlier rushed through your mind as you watched the two unknown men fighting each other.

It wasn’t long until one was dropped, the other jumping on top of the body on the ground, pummeling the other's face in, and you gasped quickly, covering your mouth as the assault took place.

You heard a woman’s voice sounding panicked. “Heeseung, don’t he’s still your father.” She turned on the porch light and ran down the steps to cover what you assumed was her husband.

No way, you thought as you heard what she said, was it really heeseung?

You know what he was capable of doing to you, but he treated his own father the same way. Was he really that sick and twisted in the head?

Heeseung never understood why his mother would always defend his father, but her wishes always came first, so he withdrew himself for his mother’s sake. If it wasn’t for her, he might have killed his father tonight.

When all the other lights in the neighborhood came on, they revealed him perfectly, and it was indeed him.

It was heeseung.

You were shocked to your core. You didn’t stick around for anything else, and you bolted back home, tucking yourself in bed for the night, trying desperately to erase the image of bloody heeseung from your mind.

-

Since that day, you have practically been running from Heeseung whenever you sensed his presence was near.

Except today at your locker when you felt a hand tug your wrist.

You looked up, and when you saw him, your body shook immediately with fear. You tried to pull away from his grip, but it just got tighter.

“Look at me” he commands but you kept your eyes low. “Fine” he yanks you to that same empty classroom where you both did unspeakable things things you wished you hadn’t. “Look” for the first time in weeks you dared to look at him in the eyes.

“Y-you told me not t-“

“I’m telling you now!” He shouts. “Don’t act you know the first thing about listening” he pinned you against the door.

You quickly lock your eyes with him, fearing what he might do if you didn’t listen.

He looks between both your eyes they looked so familiar he’s seen that look more times than he’s comfortable admitting. “Why are you looking at me like that?” His expression faltering for a moment. You don’t answer your body shaking in fear.

“Heeseung, stop you’re scari-“ he cuts your words off quickly, pressing a finger to your lips so the words don’t come out.

“If you feel that way, then why do you let me do this?” He puts his hand under your skirt, skimming your inner thigh with his fingertips.

You writhe under his hold, pulling your body away from him. “No!” You shout, but he quickly covers your mouth.

He holds you in place, lowering his hand and putting it on your throat. “Be fucking quiet. Yeah, don’t act like you don’t want this.” he grips your thigh while you struggle to get out of his grip.

“Stop!” You gasp out for air, and he squeezes tighter.

“Shush, just let me,” he whispers in your ear. “Be real quiet,” he continues, touching you under your skirt, his hand moving from your throat down to creeping down to your chest, and you winced. “Come on, I know you want. It got so wet for me last time,” he hums and licks the side of your jaw.

“Heeseung, please stop,” you whimper, hoping he’d listen.

“You say that, but I know you don’t mean it. You loved it last time. Your fucking pussy was just dripping and begging to be fucked” he nudges his forehead against yours, pressing himself closer to you.

You shrink back, your face contorting in disgust, and you can’t believe you ever liked someone like him to begin with. “Get off!” You yelled, using all your strength to push him off of you, and he stumbled back, finally letting you go.

You quickly reached for the doorknob but he was quicker. “Don’t” he easily picks you up hoisting you on the teachers desk spreading your legs and situated himself between. “Keep them open let me have you the way I want” you obey too scared that he might hurt you. “The way we both want” he whispered pressing a soft kiss on your neck.

He starts to roll the bottom of your skirt up, and that’s when he hears you sniffling softly. You want to close your legs, but you keep them open, remembering that you could possibly be hurt in this situation at any given moment.

His eyes travel to your watery ones, and his hands freeze at the look in your eyes. No wonder why your eyes looked so familiar. You were looking at him the same way his mother looked at his father before he’d hit her.

There’s no other way to describe the look other than fear.

He realized you were scared of him, and as much as he hated his father for what he’d done to his mom, at this exact moment, he could see his father in himself.

His breath catches in his throat and there’s nothing but pen drop silence in the room as he retracts his hands.

When he took his hands off you, you looked at him, your eyes red and watery. Through your blur of tears, you saw the look of confusion on his face mixed with something else.

“Go,” he whispers and backs away from you, freeing you from himself.

You stood up from the desk, your mouth parting to utter something, even though you should have just left as quickly as possible.

Before a word comes out, he shouts. “GO!”

You jumped slightly and rolled down your skirt, running to the door, leaving without looking back.

He stood alone in the empty classroom catching the reflection of his face in the glass window and he was staring back at himself there was nothing behind his eyes and he realized that he was destroyed.

⟱⟱⟱

Thanks for reading please reblog and leave feedback.

[aajjks]

Blurred Lines (m)

synopsis: the lines are blurring- you’re forbidden but he has to have a taste.

paring. soft!yan best friend!jk x Reader

warnings. yändêrê,, flüff, obsèssïvè thöüghts, lôvèsïck jk, DÏRTY thöüghts,, Jungköök is sö nöt pürè LMÁÔ büt wbk.

note. heh. ENJOY AND SEND ASKS FOR HIMMMM ILY GUYS.

DO NOT ROMANTACISE THIS BEHAVIOUR AND I DO NOT CONDONE THIS BEHAVIOUR IRL AND THIS IS PURELY FICTIONAL AND THIS FIC DOES NOT REPRESENT BTS OR JUNGKOOK AS A PERSON.

You’re the one he loves and maybe he’s too late to realise it, you’re singles, yes. But he just got out of a great relationship and you’d never date your best friend.

An angel that was sent in jungkooks dark, plain life to light it up with its radiatingly angelic existence. before you, it was all dark and smoky around him, the constant chaos, bad relationships and gleaming was starting to taint his entire life but then you were always there…

His savior, his salvation. His best friend, YN LN. yes, his YN, the girl of his dreams. Jungkook loves you so fucking much. His love for you is indescribable. Really, he is so devoted to you, but being your devotee was the least he was doing...you were a goddess, you deserved someone better than him.

A lot better, pure. Jungkook knew that he didn’t deserve you, you are like a forbidden fruit that’s so tempting to taste.

Becoming your best friend was a start...for something more...way more that jungkook craved so much. But… he never dared to cross the line, and then Dakhyung came.

He tried to suppress his emotions and feelings for you, how could he love you, his best friend.

But the truth is..

Jungkook is in love with you, his best friend. he has been loving you. His world revolves around you. the most random things you talk about are so lovely to hear...your voice is so soothing.

It soothes jungkooks inner demon that threats to come out and take over him. the one that’s so into you.

Y/N Y/N Y/N Y/N Y/N Y/N Y/N Y/N Y/N and Y/N.

Maybe his interest in you was partly responsible for her cheating on him.. maybe, she didn’t like you.. her loss.

“Kookie!!” Jungkook blinks, Finally pulled back to reality. He tilted his head to look at you, and his mind goes blank.

God, you are so pretty, so fucking beautiful. You are a masterpiece, God’s greatest creation, God’s biggest masterpiece. “KOOKIE!”

“Y-Yes!?” This time a soft smile finds its way to his lips and his cheeks heated up in embarrassment. “yes YN?” You huff in annoyance. “What are you thinking so deeply about, kook. I’ve been calling you for the last 17 minutes.” If it was even possible, his cheeks felt more heated.

if only you kn- “got a crush or something kook? Or thinking about the bitch?”

You interrupt the trail of his thoughts once again. he looks up at you in surprise, his dark doe eyes wide with his mouth agape.

“Fuck Dakhyung.” He refers to his now ex girlfriend. He hates her, to be fair he never loved her, the relationship was rushed, she wanted to be with him and… he was too scared to ask you out.

Dumb move.

But then she cheated on him, what a whore.

“w-what?!” he stutters, his heart threatening to explode in his chest. “What, What kook. A crush. Perhaps you have a crush since you’re so distracted these days...” on your face was a mischievous smile that made him scared.

But she really did him a favour by freeing him.

what if you knew? did his friend tell you? that fucker— “w-why do you think I-I have a crush? How’d you know... Yn.” Jungkook looked everywhere but at you.

“I just got cheated on yn!”

now, don’t get jungkook wrong. He loves you a lot...like it was probably unhealthy. But he hated just how smart you were.

But then again, it is also so hot.

Jungkook shakes his head at his lewd thoughts. Now was not the time. Jungkook liftes his head up to see you so close to his face.

eeeeekkk!

“Y-Y-Yn!!! W-What are you doing!?” With your face so close to his, jungkooks breath hitches in his throat. you really are Gods most magnificent creation. and...

you smell so fucking good. peachy, his favorite scent. “jungkooooookie is innnn looooveee!~” the way your mouth moves was so attractive, your lips were so plump.

So pink and glossy, his mouth was salivating at the sight. nice lipgloss.

Damn your glossy pretty lips.

what does it taste like? Oh he desperately he wishes he could know. His gaze is set on your lips as he forces his frozen mind to think logically.

No! Jungkook is not a pervert. You are pure. He inhales loudly while scolding himself mentally.

Now. is. not. the. time. jungkook.

He closes his eyes and gulpes. These thoughts are haunting, how would your lips feel against his? your soft skin would be heaven to touch…

Just look at you.

stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop— fuck it.

“Y/N can i kiss you?”

maybe he isn’t as pure as he thought.

[drowningmist]

𓇢𓆸 [4:14 AM] GOJO SATOROU

You glared at your phone, infront of you on the mattress which had been ringing for five minutes straight.

12 missed calls from toru☆ , it shows.

Your phone brightened again with a message

"Baby please pick up the phone"

You grabbed your rectangle and switched it off. You were never like this, never ignored the stressful situations, always confronted them but right now you were in a tight spot yourself.

You have been with gojo satoru the gojo satoru for 8 months now and you were happy, happier with him. But never dated before the sudden relationship made changes in your life which you only came to notice now. Now you had a person to remind you to take rest after studying, now there was a person waiting for you to cuddle him, now you saw places never seen before although leaving in this city for almost 2 years. Now you had conversations with your aged people that didn't end with just a small question related to assignments. Maybe, you liked the nows so much, this new change in your life that you side tracked from your goal, what you came her for. This was your dream university for which you worked so damn hard to get in, it took you two attempts to get into this uni , the first time you got sidetracked , had friends , you get swayed by them. The failure gave you a reality check and only you knew how hopelessly and desperately you tried again, completely alone fighting your depressed tired mind that you will make it this time and you did and you swore you would never repeat your mistakes and only focus on being the best student in your firm and get placement, a job , a peaceful solace life. That was your plan but then came gojo satoru.

He was in bussiness branch, you being in robotics and automation. But you both shared a few clubs and that was enough for the gojo satoru to set an eye on you. That was it, man had your whole schedule revised, your cafe order to you favourite place in the library. Initially, you despised him. He had everything you didn't have, got admission cuz he was rich while you rubbed your ass, unsurprisingly popular and surprisingly one of the best bussiness student for straight two years. You often wondered when did he studied and how much, did he even had time for it after his night outs . Maybe it was jealousy you felt but you don't know, your heart don't know what he his eyes did to you in the two years of knowing, from pulling away and pushing his advantages to grabbing his face to gently peck him from making a disgusting face when he was around to greeting him with open arms and snuggling to his chest.

But yesterday's results of your mid semester pulled you back on earth. Yeah , afterall you didn't belonged there with the gojo satoru who had everything you didn't and gained everything you couldn't. Unlike him you had to be consistent you weren't gifted, hardwork was your key. You weren't here to fall in love, you were here to be the best student. And maybe it was your insecurity but you always thought you were just his temporary infatuation, a fling, you thought it wouldn't last he will get bored of your stiff personality and leave you alone. But you were immune to being left alone what you feared was the failure you didn't wanted to repeat the pattern. So, you broke up with him and in the worst way possible on a text. Maybe it was intentional you wanted him to stop chasing you, stop loving you , stop looking at you as the most priced possession.

There was a knock on the door, you remained still but then the few more thuds had you standing on your doorstep.

"I know you are there open up"

" its early sato- gojo, go home". You gulped down your whimpers and spoke sternly.

You heard a dry laugh from the other side

"Gojo, huh?"

Then there was another thud on your door making you jump, this one was the loudest.

"Stop , you will disturb the neighbors! "

"You open the door and I'll stop knocking" he replied curtly

Sighing you open the door mentally readying your break up speech. But you didn't get the chance, just as you opened the door gojo was pulling you to your couch settling you there and then crouching down to your eye level and flashing you his phone screen.

" Explain".

You eyed his phone it was opened to your today's conversation more specifically your message of breaking it off.

You looked at him but immediately looked away.

Was he able to make this type of face before?

" there's nothing to explain, I want to break up with you"

He scoffed

"Why?"

"You are .. you sighed " I don't want to be in a relationship now"

"Should have thought before kissing me"

You glared at him

" I am not able to manage it all. My studies and our relationship "

Gojo cupped your face and sighed

"Oh baby.., you should have said so ,we can just study togeher its a win win, u see? we could plan study dates then ..hmm yeah thats a good change of pace, we can meet in the library and study or we could plan home dates too-

"Gojo" he stopped

"You don't get it.. i-i don't want to be in a relationship! I want to focus on my studies"

"Nobody is stopping you from studying and your way of studying is not healthy at all. it's always good to relax and don't worry about managing stuff I'm a part of your life now just like you are of mine, all I want is for you to be healthy and happy . who will stop you when you are at your limit-

"You are a distraction gojo! You are the problem if it weren't for you then I wouldn't have to go through all this again I don't want to experience that shitty feeling of being a failure!"

''distraction''

his lower lip wobbled as he tried not to sniff even thought there were no tears in his eyes.he was looking at you with flummoxed expression on his face.

you paused at his crack of voice and kept your head low.

''just leave please''

Nobody said anything and gojo got up and left without uttering another word and you remained still tears cascading your eyes which started to fall as you heard the door shut.

[justwonder113]

Sharing a bed with Lee Know

Chan; Lee Know ; Changbin; Hyunjin; Han; Felix; Seungmin; IN;

My Masterlist

Summary: Feeling beyond frustrated with your boyfriend you leave your phone home and head out to drink your sorrows away, meanwhile he's stuck there losing his mind trying to find you. Warning: CURSING It's me who's surprised there. Angst to fluff. Barely mentioning the sharing bed part but yeah... Reader is gender neutral. Mention of alcohol intake. reader is tipsy but fully conscious. I don't know if I missed anything so please let me know if I did. NOT PROOFREAD

A/N- Glad to announce that I'm alive and well and back with a new laptop so I won't have to break my fingers trying to type on my phone anymore!!! I'll try to update more and more now^^ As for my work, this is the first time I have written something like this and I really hope you'll like it. I tried my best to make it seem as real as possible and I'm really eager to know what you think, so if you have any feedback please tell me what you think. Again thank you for all the love and support you give me, it means the world to me!! Reblogs and comments are highly appeciated^^ Word count- 2.8k

Not knowing how to deal with your rampaging emotions you kept pacing back and forth in your apartment like a lunatic. You were at loss for words, never in your life you felt this humiliated and to think that Minho, the person who was supposed to be your safe space and your comfort person was the source of that!

Honestly, you felt torn, you were beyond mad at frustrated at Minho and wanted to rip him a new one, but at the same time you felt so heartbroken and miserable all you wanted to was to crawl in your bed and not get up for at least a week. It also didn’t help at all that your week was an absolute shit, with this said day being the cake on the top. All you wanted to do was to have a lunch with your boyfriend and just forget all the bullshit you had to go through. You knew he had a hectic schedule due to an upcoming comeback. Heck, you barely had seen him for the last maybe three weeks. He was already at practice when you woke up and immediately went to sleep when he came back in the middle of the night so he had barely any time to talk or text to you, you weren’t even talking about seeing you in person. It was what pissed you off the most. You were too considerate, how many people would be able to handle having a relationship like that, when a simple text sent your way made you want to throw fireworks? You knew he was busy, you only wanted to see him for what a half hour, just to eat together? Maybe get a hug? And an encouraging word that you could get through the day? No, what you get for bringing your very busy boyfriend and his bandmates his favorite takeout is to get yelled at in front of the said bandmates to being overly clingy and overbearing.

One part of you wanted to break down sobbing, the other part wanted to bring hell to him and make a biggest scene ever, in reality? You just left, not an ounce of emotion on your face. Maybe it would be better if you did either or those, at least you wouldn’t feel this torn now. So full of emotions feeling like you could burst any scond. No, you knew you were angry and rightfully so, this is why the tears that wouldn’t stop streaming down your face aggravated you even more. He didn’t deserve your tears not after the bullshit he pulled.

Another pang of notification brought you back to reality, God how many massages was he going to send? Who was clingy and overbearing now? If he thought that you would forgive just like that just because he was sorry then he was a damn fool. You knew he didn’t mean it; you knew him long enough to know that whenever he was too stressed he had outbursts like he did earlier and he said stuff he didn’t necessarily mean. It was an objective fact that you didn’t deserve to be called clingy. But it didn’t matter, he humiliated you in front of all these people and that wasn’t something you could easily forgive. Hell, how could you forget such thing? He could have said that he needed space that he was busy, no matter how vulnerable you felt, no matter how much you needed him in that moment you would have understood.

Maybe it was a sign. Your relationship was still considered new, it wouldn’t hurt as much ending things now. Maybe you could even return to being friends again. Another pang of your phone followed by another in less than five seconds, then another.

God, you couldn’t bear it anymore, you needed some air.

Not even considering to take your phone with you you left your apartment. You didn’t exactly know where you were going but it would be better than feeling suffocated in your own house.

***

Probably not the wisest choice because now you were worst kind of drunk in this bar meaning your mind was completely sober but your body seemed disconnected from your mind, everything was spinning and your whole body moved as if in slow motion. God what a beautiful day you couldn’t even drink to forget your own sorrows. Better go home then, or at least head to that direction.

You only managed to pay for the drinks and get outside before you felt so queasy you had to stop and lean on the lamppost. God, you hated that your body wasn’t listening to you.

Also, you were starting to regret not bringing your phone with you. You would have called your friend to pick you up and maybe take you with them or at least order a cab. Also, not really wise to spend most of the money you had in your wallet on drinks. God, you felt like shit.

Oh wow it was already night, and based on how there was barely anyone around it must’ve been quite late too.

You started walking but barely made 10 steps before you had to stop again, it was as if your body had a mind on its own and was refusing to cooperate.

“Baby!” You heard a loud yell and before you even had the time to react you were engulfed biggest hug ever. You almost wrapped your arms around your boyfriend before you remembered you were mad at him. Fortunately for you he almost immediately let go, carefully examining everything, his eyes so full of worry you felt bad for him for a second.

“What are you doing here?” You didn’t even try to hide your displeasure. Minho flinched as if he was physically hit by your words.

“I was searching for you! I was out here wandering in these streets trying to find you for hours! I was about to call the police when I saw you here!” You felt guilty, looking at him. He looked dishelved, hair messy as if he had run his hand through it countless times, he was out of breath as if he had been running, his eyes red and swollen as if he had cried…Was he really running around searching for you?

“Who’s being clingy now? Couldn’t last five minutes without seeing me? Had to search for me all over town? So clingy and overbearing!” You watched as your words hit him like a slap, his face morphed into a pained one. You felt horrible talking to him this way, but part of you was satisfied, wanting him to know just how much words could hurt.

“I’m sorry…” His voice was quite almost inaudible, you knew he meant it but you would be dammed if you forgave him just like that.

“You should be, you were beyond cruel.” Even you were surprised how emotionless you sounded. You would also be fooled if you didn’t know the turmoil that was inside you right at this moment.

He lowered his gaze unable to look you in the eyes. “I know.” Oh great he knows, what a balm to your wound.

“You really hurt me Minho!” There was it, the anger, the hurt, you didn’t have the energy to contain it anymore.

“I know.”

“Oh that fixes everything then! You know! Do you know anything but that sentence? Is that all you have to say?” Silence, you couldn’t help but huff out a laugh bitterly, feeling defeated. “What even are you doing here Minho?”

“You weren’t picking up the phone, your house was empty, neither your friends or your family knew where you were. I had to find you to know that you were safe!” His voice was strained, he looked like he was seconds away from busting in tears.

“I’m safe you can go home now!” You turned around to head home, all these emotions making you feel a bit more sober. You barely made two steps before a hand grabbed your wrist gently halting your movement. His voice desperately calling your name. “Please…”

You couldn’t take this anymore. You turned back to him eyes full of rage burning with unshed tears begging to be let out. “Please what Minho? What do you want me to do? You can’t even tell me normally why you were searching for me. You agree with me that you hurt me yet you’re not even saying you’re sorry, and no I won’t take that halfassed apology or whatever that was. What do you want me to do? It’s like you don’t even know what you want yourself so what do you really expect me to do?”

You watched a tear run down his reddened cheek. It infuriated you how breathtaking he looked right now. Not even the most skilled painter would be able to capture his beauty, not a single camera would be able to capture the full beauty. God, you hated how your heart only sang for him even in this much pain he caused. Here he was watching you in sorrow, in pain, angered by his betrayal while he did nothing just stand there idly looking ethereal, still managing to have you in his chokehold.

“Do you even love me?” No matter how hard you tried to fight it the dam broke. A tear slid down your face, quickly followed by another, then yet another, till it felt like a little stream down your face. You forced yourself to look him in the eyes, the pain and anger burning in them. His eyes also full of pain but you couldn’t read anything more. There were times you thought you could read his emotions… What a fool you were.

Your body started to shake trying to hold violent sobs wanting to break through. No matter how much you were fighting it you were starting to break down as if already knowing the answer. Subtly wrapping your arms around yourself you tried to hold yourself, to prevent breaking down even more. You hated feeling this weak. Hated that you couldn’t control yourself. Hated that you had to break down in front of him like this! To show him your weakness…

It was as if Minho awoke from the trance he was in, in the tenth of the second his arms were gently cradling your face and his lips were connected to yours, giving you probably the most passionate kiss you had ever received.

Your whole body felt like it was on fire. The tears really felt like tiny rivers on your face, no matter how many times Minho tried to gently rub them from your face with his thumbs they just wouldn’t stop coming. The kiss was gentle yet firm, it tasted salty from both your tears (probably mostly yours) but still familiarly sweet. His lips moved against yours in determination, as if to show you his feelings the only way he knew how.

You felt like your body and mind were on overdrive feeling too many emotions at once, not fully knowing how to react. You tried to resist the urge to reciprocate the kiss but you almost immediately folded, almost quite literally because now if not Minho’s hands  migrating from your face to your waist you weren’t sure you would be able to be stand. Yor body felt like it was completely shutting down and you felt like you were at his mercy and based on how tightly he held you against his body and how fiercely he was kissing you he wasn’t planning on letting you go any time soon. And he didn’t, he only leaned his head back a little to give you time to catch your breath.

“I’m cruel as you said, and mean and cold and I most definitely don’t deserve such an amazing person as you by my side, I’m not even worthy of your forgiveness! You didn’t deserve to be told you’re clingy or overbearing or some shit like that when you’ve been so supportive, so kind, so patient and loving towards me when we both know I didn’t do shit to earn it.” His broken voice pulled on your heartstrings, no matter how angry you felt it was whole another pain to feel him talk so about himself. Minho lifted your hands and carefully kissed both of them, his hands slightly trembling. He looked you in the eyes, and for a second you were taken aback with the sea, no ocean of emotions in them. “I’m really sorry I hurt your feelings. There’s nothing I can say to justify my actions, but I promise you I never meant any of my words. I’m sorry I’ve been a terrible boyfriend to you but please trust me when I say, I love you with my whole heart, with everything I have and everything I am, please never doubt that.”

You stood like that for a second or two, maybe even a minute, unable to find words to say. You didn’t even now what you were feeling. Everything inside was a mess. Sighing in defeat you held your hand forward, Minho’s confused eyes snapping at them then at you in a second.

“Take me home.”

Minho took your hand without even thinking twice.

***

You knew you said that you felt a bit more sober earlier but that turned out to be a lie because you still felt so queasy getting in your bed felt like climbing the mount Everest and that with Minho’s help, who didn’t once let go of your hand and helped you with every step of your night routine. None of you had said a word since you held in your hand to him. You knew he was nervous based on the slight trembling you felt from time to time as you held his hand but honestly you didn’t know what you were going to say to him.

“I texted everyone that you’re home safe and that you’re going to sleep.” Minho broke the silence, his voice a bit coarse. You looked at him which made him look even more nervous. If not the circumstances you would find his unsureness and even shyness absolutely endearing. “There’s water and painkillers on your bedside table.” A nod from you, you were tired, you felt like you could sleep for a whole day.

You quickly came back to your senses when he let go of your hand. “You should go to sleep now, I will leave you to rest.”

Thankfully you managed to grab his wrist before he could leave. “Where are you going?“ Minho looked taken aback, clearly not expecting you to reach out for him.

“I thought you would want some space.” He sounded defeated.

You groaned as you fell on your bed. “God we really need to work on our communication skills. I promise I will tell you if I ever need space from you, now get in bed. There’s no way I’m letting you out of house on 3 am or whatever time it is, it’s late!”

After a second of silence you opened your eye to check on Minho, to see if he was here and you weren’t talking to yourself like a lunatic. The sight made your breath hitch. He had the softest smile adorning his face as he watched you, his eyes full of love, you had never seen him smiling at you like that.

“Careful or I might think you care for me.” There he was being a little shit you knew and loved, had to ruin a moment. you made sure to groan as loudly and as dramatically as possible.

“Minho I swear to God! Get in bed or I am going to make you sleep on the floor!” You tried to threaten but the smile that broke through your face wasn’t fooling anyone.

Minho didn’t waste a second and almost immediately you were pulled into a hug, your head smushed against his chest which beat wildly as if in joy.

“I could have given you a second to change you know, I think I might have something you can change into…” Minho didn’t let you finish your sentence -“Let me just hold you for a second, please.”

Not wanting to deny him you wrapped your arms around him and held him just as tight. Both of you feeling content being in each other’s arms, finally feeling calm and most importantly safe.

“I love you.” You heard Minho mutter against your skin, he was so still you thought he had fallen asleep. You looked up at him, there was that gaze again, so full of love and tenderness. Not even trying to hide your smile you leaned in and captured his lips in a soft kiss. “I know. I love you too.”

Reblogs and comments are highly appeciated^^

[biggest-geo-oogami-enjoyer]

That's right, as soon as I saw you receiving questions again I came flying.

As always and should never be missed first, I hope you are well and I love your writing as much as you love Geo.

Ehem, could you please write (if you have time) how you think the cast would confess their love to the MC/reader?

💙Thank you for your attention and this probably has errors due to the translator.

Devoted (All x MC/Reader - Confession HCs)

I'm feeding you all well tonight. >:]

This is 3000 fucking words.

T.W.: Some of these (especially Sol) have more mentions of sexual activity than others.

- Signed by biggest-geo-oogami-enjoyer

Devoted: being devoted to something means being focused on that particular thing almost exclusively.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

When it comes to you, Sol’s got no other feelings other than pure veneration and an obsessive, all-consuming love (and lust). 

He does plan to confess, but he wants to be certain you’re showing signs — definite signs — that you’re into him. Even if it’s just physical attraction, even if all you want from him is his body; he’ll take it, you can use him however you want, he won’t mind.

Sol’s going to be extremely cautious when it comes to ensuring you remain as his, he wants you to have eyes only on him, even you looking at someone else with adoration, especially a very certain Jericho-fucking-Ichabod, he’s going to lose his shit. Only maybe Hyugo will survive being annihilated, solely due to Sol tolerating him enough (and the fact they both have an iron-clad grip over each other when it comes to blackmail <3).

Sol, after befriending you, will probably have to forcefully clamp his mouth shut every time he says anything to you, this man is so perverted when it comes to you that he can never let his guard down.

When you start hanging out with him (and Hyugo), he’s going to try and get you to like him through his more teasing side, one with snark and sass galore. He also never hesitates to get into fist fights for you, so that’s an awesome bonus.

As he hoped, you became quite fond of the facade he’d upkept for you, anytime you blushed he’d have to tug his shirt down and clench his thighs together just to hide his raging boner. 

May or may not vanish at least thrice each time just to jack off to you. Even Hyugo is a bit concerned with how frequently he vanishes to the restroom. 

Anyway, Sol’s going to try and get you to become solely dependent on him, he can’t afford you having other people, other insignificant people interfering with his master bation plan to get you to be his.

He’ll definitely take advantage of the fact people are going missing to ‘take care of’ Crowe'; then he’ll stalk back into your bedroom and fuck himself into your sheets. Again. And Again. He’d then look over your sleeping form, resist the carnal urge to take you right then and there, and decide he’s gonna do it.

By the stage he confesses, he’s become your main source of comfort after ‘poor’ Crowe vanished, and he will 110% abuse that power. 

Will confess ‘by accident’, and he’ll immediately try to gauge your reaction, making sure to casually play it off as best as possible, his face beet red like his cock, considering how often it’s hard because of you.

If, no, when you blush, you’ll look down (either from shyness or astonishment) and you will notice.

Someone. Is. Very. Painfully. Disturbingly. Hard. 

You’re also fairly certain it's not you.

You’ll probably just blankly stare at the outline, with Sol trying to hide it.

Then you bite his cock off <333

You also better reciprocate, because he’s just gonna lunge at you.

Will basically asphyxiate you with how much he kisses you. <3

Like mans doesn’t care he’s too overjoyed with how his fantasy, his dream of being with you is finally, painstakingly, becoming reality.

Hyugo would probably not even know he had a thing for you until he was taking a shower one night. Then it hits him like an anvil and he’s a mix of embarrassment and panic.

Embarrassment because…oh no…he’s gonna have to evade you like the plague to not become a hot stuttering mess. And panic? Well; he has people from all social classes, all corners of the earth after his head (no not that head, smh y’all are vile).

Will then proceed to do the opposite of evading you, mans wants your attention too much.

He’s usually very good with controlling his facial expressions, but if he likes you, he's just going to be red-faced 24/7.

Ends up wearing a face mask just to hopefully cover the furious blush that usurps his face whenever you wave to him.

Like Sol, wants to be absolutely certain that you like him back before he confesses, mans is gonna be preparing the shit out of everything.

Will probably try to steal more of your attention and often ensures he’s gone more often; for absence makes the heart grow fonder, does it not?

Hyugo is definitely more touchy if he likes someone, maybe he’ll try to make one of those funky over-the-top handshakes with you.

Anyway, if, in the span of however much time you’ve both got left until graduation, Hyugo will probably become a pestilence in your mind. All logic and reason, all cognition and wit is slowly being eaten away by thoughts of cyan tresses and firmament eyes.

When he confesses, it’ll be purposeful, at least, he hopes it will be. He’ll invite you to either a park or beach, and his aim to to confess under the shroud of darkness.

He’ll probably be too afraid to face you and state his feelings, he’s paranoid he’ll look stupid. 

When the words leave his pretty lips, you just sit. Half of you is convinced this is a trick of the mind, until you ask…“What?”

He’s terribly ashamed at this point, literally any response will freak him out.

You’ll have to yank his arm and either squeeze him and his dick or smash your lips onto his, gripping the nape of his neck like your life depends on it.

It may or may not end up in more.

His eyes might even become waterfalls from the relief and sheer peace he feels to be here. For once in his life he doesn’t feel uneasy or trepidant. 

Which means you’ll have to make him cry from pleasure instead. <333

Brit will probably figure out she likes you after she realises she’s been stalking your socials for the past few months. She’ll then be appalled at how she even got this attached to anyone at all.

She’s going to be quite bold at the start, especially if she thinks what she has is a small crush, to which you’ll probably have her bluntly telling you you’re hot or something. (You’ll be spending the days deciphering whether that was sarcasm or not).

She’ll be dragging you shopping and for coffee dates as time goes by and if you’re up for it, you both go out to get mani-pedis and facials. This girl (and Geo) know the best cosmetic places in the city, they used to share locations with each other for better haircare and eyeliner products.

She also defends you from bullies. If you’re the shy type, she will be throwing metal trays and food at all the shitbiscuits who dare to speak a crude word against you.

Will eventually realise, after genuinely getting to know you, that she does in fact hold genuine emotional attachment to you. She then proceeds to panic. (mood)

This girl, while confident, is extremely worried about the opinions of people whom she cares for. She doesn’t want to be on eggshells when around you, so she may end up avoiding you.

Overtime, you too had become attached to Brit, and gained a lot of respect for all the shit she gets put through all the time; so her doing this affects you a lot.

She’ll snap if you get another girl best friend (that’s not Jess), and will become more annoyed in general if you ignore her.

This girl is terrified of rejection, but she’ll end up so riled up that she’ll blatantly admit she likes you and not elaborate.

You both eventually decide to deal with this like the wise adults you are, and talk it out. She’ll definitely be extremely embarrassed about sharing her feelings, and will hide her face in her manicured hands to conceal the blush on her face.

It’s okay you both end up holding hands and (almost) kissing.

I say almost because Brittney went to order more coffee (totally not from anything to do with you noo).

Y’all have monthly shopping sprees and spa sessions now; and hang out at one-another’s places to do each others’ hair and gossip.

Jess is going to be one of the less obvious when it comes to being into you.

Girlypop essentially will do whatever you want, she’s much more shy when it comes to actually speaking her mind, you’ll have to coax her into feeling comfortable enough with you to speak her mind.

Will blush if you compliment her.

She will definitely ramble about you to her online friends (she’s got a blog so she’s gonna have some friends lmfao).

Is going to be slightly more outspoken around you, as in, will actually have a conversation with you. Not to say she’s incapable, she just often needs to mentally sift through everyone she meets to determine whether they’re assholes or not.

She will definitely ask for external advice on how to court you, but ends up being too afraid to actually attempt it (mood).

Is 110% going to ask the others for any signs that you like her, especially Brittney.

Will be the type to just text online all the time, she feels more free behind a screen.

Will probably buy you a gift out of nowhere, will be smiling with pure adoration if you like it (you do).

Girl is too shy to ask you out, so she’ll probably just have to end up being asked directly if she likes you, or if you confess first. Either way the answer will be yes, albeit if you do the former she’ll be way more hesitant.

When you hug her (and with consent kiss her forehead), she’ll faint.

You’ll be worried if you killed her.

It’s okay she saw heaven right beforehand.

When y’all both get over the initial shock, she’s going to hug you again. Probably won’t let go for a while, until the post-confession clarity kicks in and she panics.

You’ll have to cup her face and tell her you’re not upset at all.

And you both end up just warmly embracing for the next hour or so.

Geo’s absolutely abominable when it comes to feelings; especially romantic ones.

He would be the type to suspect something was up, but he’d dismiss anything that even remotely resembles emotional attachment.

He knows how cold he may come off as, and he’s content with you avoiding him like the plague. 

Alas, you don’t; in fact, you try to talk to him more frequently.

He’s the type to be silently judging everyone you talk to now, he’s nitpicking at them, mentally elevating himself as a better match, a better variant for you.

He doesn’t even realise he’s doing it, and neither do you. His face is as blank as Hyugo’s attendance roll.

He isn’t a fan of nicknames, but he’ll reluctantly like- *cough* allow you to call him ‘Geode’. The glee on your face made his heart seize up.

He’s definitely going to use his status to remove people from your life whom he deems as pests; whether that be bullies (if he doesn’t get them hospitalised first), toxic friends or other people who like you.

Geo’d be quite possessive, not to the extent where he thinks he owns you, but he’d definitely be eyemurdering anyone who can’t keep their hands off you. Worst part is he can’t stop them (unless you ask for help, then he 110% will), without looking a tad suspish.

Will be the type to hope you ask to hang out, and/or bribe a teacher of any class that you’re both in to make you guys a duo in whatever assignment is up next. Any excuse to be near you is a good one.

Will just ‘happen upon’ a snack you like and buys it for you.

Will be subconsciously trying to deny he likes you, but after a while, after being near you for as long as he has. Hell, the fact he chose to override his logic to be near you is enough reason for him to silently decide that, yes, he did like you.

Was he going to admit it? Absolutely not.

He cannot afford to get rejected, after all. He wants to be sure you like him back. He’ll even allow Brittney to find out if it means a higher chance of being with you.

But his method would be slow, subtle courting; buying you either food or cosmetics or whatever makes you happy. 

The joy in your eyes makes him softly smile each time (when you’re not looking).

Brittney will probably hint at it on his behalf tbh, and after a while, you notice he isn’t cracking. 

Which means you’re gonna have to do it.

Thankfully you possess a basic amount of common sense to ask him out in private, to which he does a double take, purely confused; which is fucking hilarious, because he never makes any genuine expressions other than annoyance or disdain (and the rare smile).

So you tell him you have a thing for him, and he’s just staring into your soul, before he briefly winces (he pinched himself y’all), and quietly stares.

When he softly affirms how he feels the same way, it’s as if all the hostility had been drained from his stoicism, left only with a calm, disciplined contentedness.

You’ve given Geo’s grey, monotonous life a stroke of colour, one that left his bland, monotonous existence behind, because now, he had a purpose. A genuine, heartfelt purpose.

And you’d never know just how grateful he was to have you.

Crowe will probably realise he likes you a while before he confesses.

I feel like he’d be similar to Sol in the secretly-obsessive category, but he’s much better at hiding it.

He’d focus on trying to make you as comfortable as possible with him, offering you study notes, tutoring sessions, free coffee…just trying to treat you as much as possible without making it too obvious what his goal is.

Basically just tries to be a backbone that you can fall back on when you need it. And let me tell you, he’s a fucking good one.

He is probably going to try and maintain normalcy between you two, slowly alternating between loving and politeness, he wants to determine whether he can even be with you.

Definitely will be giving romantic innuendos the longer his feelings for you fester, they don’t seem to be weakening at all for him. In fact, they’re getting stronger with time, like a good wine.

He’ll probably lightly flirt with you as well, and if you blush or, even better, flirt back? Man is gonna be thinking about that for the next month.

Crowe is going to be more protective over you with time, especially when you both hang out. He wants to ensure you’re safe and comfortable, no matter the circumstances.

You’re gonna feel very secure around him.

Will probably test the waters after a while and ask for your hand –in marriage– because it’s ‘cold’.

You (I’m assuming) oblige, and overtime it becomes a normal thing for you both (teehee).

Will confess to you while holding your hand as well. You stop feeling cold for a while from how warm you feel.

If the mood strikes, y’all may even partake in the act known as ‘kissing’.

You both will be struggling to not smile for a long time after that.

Deryl will be oblivious that he likes you for a while. Until he isn’t. Which will be a few months at least.

When he does though, he’ll treat you the same as when he did before, extremely friendly, massive foodie and great support system.

Although with you he feels a more soulful bond, he wants to be seen as a source of shelter and safety for you; more so than for the others.

He’ll be keeping his feelings in for a long time though, he doesn’t want to make things awkward with you.

Will want to share snacks with you, food is his love language. Y’all are gonna be going places and consuming everything.

You both are so going to arcades to gamble on who pays for snacks-

He’s a sporty guy, so he’d invite you to his sports shows (all of them, even the ones that are private af). If you went he’d actually cry tears of joy.

His way of expressing his love would mostly be through affirmation and physical touch. He’d be hugging you 24/7 if he could (and was given consent ofc).

Also uses his reputation and overall build to essentially threaten potential bullies to fuck off. He’s strong af and is very capable of coming out of a fight much less hurt than whoever chose to screw with him. He’ll be much more unmerciful if said people were hurting you.

Over time, he’d accept he has feelings for you and that they may not be reciprocated, but if he gets a feeling — either from you or from a snide comment of Brittney’s — that you like him? He’ll just man up and tell himself that he’s gonna confess.

So he does, as he’s walking you home one night (cause…we’re literally hot shit; people wanna steal us all the time), and when you both get to your residence, he gently takes your wrist and awkwardly asks if you can allow him a moment.

When he states his feelings, red-faced and all, he’s completely accepted they might not be reciprocated. 

So when you grin and tell him you feel the same? And you’re not kidding?

My guy just stands there, monotone, for about a moment, before his face becomes as radiant as the sun.

He’s literally so happy he could die.

Will bounce in his skin.

Anyway y’all end up on your couch eating Sour Patch Kids while watching a shitty movie and commenting on how dumb it is.

Truly the experience of all time.

It gets even better when you both end up falling asleep on each other (after Deryl tires himself out…I’ll leave that to your imaginations <3).

[smoothlikealikeasnake]

Strawberry Princess - Chapter Three "So Similar"

Pairing - BTS OT7 x reader, Hybrid BTS x Reader, Hybrid BTS x Hybrid Reader

Genre - Hybrid!AU , Hybrid BTS , Hybrid Reader, fluff, angst, smut, alternative reality , strangers to lovers , strangers to friends, friends to lovers

Warnings - So much fluff, teasing, slightly suggestive, slightly possessive behaviour, reader anxiety , tiniest bit of angst, lmk if I missed any!

Summary - When a certain hybrid starts to appear whenever Jungkook is at the gym, an immediate pull is felt between the two and their eventual friendship soon is spread to the rest of his pack.

Previous Next Overview

New footsteps were quickly followed with a strong scent filling the room, warm mild citrus with slight leather, tobacco and whiskey underneath, Yoongis scent was always one that had all of his mates melting, his complex scent being unique and easy to find even in a room packed of people, it fit him perfectly.

With all of the scents already slightly overwhelming Y/n the strength of Yoongis’ even when he was feeling neutral was making her inner feline draw closer to the surface than she had done the entirety of the day. Yoongi quickly noticed Y/n at the sweet strawberrys emitting around the home, it only took him a moment before Jungkook introduced him. Jungkook couldn’t hold back his thoughts about confirming the resemblance in Y/n and Yoongi’s personality and behaviour and found himself wanting to push them to interact more, hoping that maybe he will see more about Y/n than he already has.

“Yoongi-ah, Y/n is staying for dinner, come sit down im sure Hobi and Tae will be on their way soon” - Jin spoke lovingly as he got up to take Yoongis coat and give him a quick kiss which Y/n couldn’t deny, made her a bit shy at witnessing.

“Ah, nice to finally meet you Y/n, I’ll go change before I sit down Jin-hyung” - Yoongi said as he began to find the Jeans and shirt he was wearing irritating, being tainted with the scent of people from outside and his customers, his nose crinkled up slightly and he moved towards his bedroom almost awkwardly, distracted by the idea to get out of the clothes.

Y/n didn’t know why she almost felt upset that he hadn’t acknowledged her more, being told she was so similar to him she felt connected, perhaps also through him being a feline hybrid too but no matter why, she couldn’t stop the slight sadness in her scent and the staring in his direction for a second too long before she quickly tried to cover it up, distracting herself with the people she already had surrounding her,

They all knew what she was thinking, what she was feeling, especially when her ears had tilted back, tail wrapping around her waist and hands rapidly kneading into the blanket she’d grown quite an attachment too since she’d been here. Her scent had gone back to its normal sweet strawberry but the others in the room knew she had purposefully tried to cover it up.

Focusing on anything possible, Y/n felt herself noticing all of the packs outfits, all seeming quite comfortable, Namjoon in a large white r-shirt and black seemingly comfortable loose trousers, Jungkook in all black, sweatshirt and joggers, Jimin and Jin had somehow managed to change without her realising, Jimin in a black hoodie that looked all too comfortable and matching joggers and Jin in a soft knit sweater and trousers. What Y/n especially noticed is she seemed incredibly overdressed, she loved her outfit but worried she stood out compared to the comfort in the room, clearly her distraction hasn’t worked the way she wanted it too because the stability of her scent wavered again at the new thoughts, slightly insecure at her outfit, one hand still kneading the blanket while the other began stroking her own tail across her waist.

Before anyone could say anything to ease Y/n’s clearly overwhelmed state, Yoongi came back in, in much closer proximity this time and the strength of all the scents in room in combination with Y/n’s thoughts had her struggling to stay still and prevent her feline counterpart from being more prominent. As Yoongi went to sit down without so much as a word, Y/n’s pupils dilated, slowly losing control at the entire situation, she quickly pulled the blanket she had been kneading and scenting all day onto her lap to be able to use both hands to knead, she hadn’t moved it before that, just moving her hand to reach it but it was clear she was struggling to hold on at her actions.

Jin shared a knowing look with the rest of the pack before standing up and tapping Namjoon and giving Yoongi a look that couldn’t quite be deciphered. It was only then that Yoongi noticed Y/n holding his blanket on her thighs, rubbing the scent glands on her wrists all over it at every movement, his own pupils dilated as his tail started to swing behind him, a combination of curiosity and pride coming over him.

“Jimin and Jungkook come help me with dinner, it’ll be about time to eat when Tae and Hobi get back” - Jin said as he directed the three out to the kitchen, leaving Namjoon indulging in his book, Yoongi who couldn’t focus on the tv and Y/n who wasn’t even trying to hide the push and pull of her hands, scent sweetening and pushing around the entire house. It wasn’t uncommon for this to happen, Hybrids could fall deeper into their hybrid instincts when overwhelmed in any way though it’s only ideal in comfortable situations which, Y/n realised, she was now in. She had grown comfortable in just a few hours but her worry clouding her mind prevented her from enjoying the instinctual nature she’d started to feel. Her sharp little claws coming out and canines biting into her tongue, tail wrapping tighter around her and ears frantically moving around. As concerned as Namjoon was, he knew the sole reason for this push into her state was Yoongi, he was the only one who could really make it better in that moment.

Yoongi was still watching her intensely, tail swinging as he stood up from his seat and felt pulled to sit down next to Y/n on the couch, her eyes snapping to him as he does and suddenly instead of her face, Yoongi found her drawn to something else. She followed every movement of his tail, scent booming around her as she subconsciously leant in, clearly fascinated but what amused Yoongi most is that it seemed the worry left her eyes, she wasn’t just watching, her arms slowed kneading, instead carefully positioning themselves as her pupils dilated and her own tail started to swing. What Yoongi realised is his feline qualities had left her hybrid to want to play, she was getting ready to pounce for his tail and he decided to play around a bit himself, stopping his tail before moving it swiftly into random positions.

Namjoon looked up and shook his head smiling softly as he watched Yoongi tease Y/n. She was creeping forward more and more until she finally took her shot, only getting a few inches forward and landing just before Yoongis face, stopped by his hand grabbing both of her reaching hands into his own, wrapped tight around her wrists holding them together and stopping her movement.

He took a second to acknowledge how small her hands were in his own, easily wrapping his veiny hand around both of her wrists and observing her pretty pink nail polish on her claws but what he couldn’t get over is just how tiny her claws were, it was amusing and adorable. He looked back up at her stunned and still playful expression, wide eyes looking up at him in slight shock at how he had just snatched her out of her pounce.

“Too slow kitten, best time try before I notice” - His blunt words didnt discourage her, just flustering her already playful state and she could feel herself about to purr at his endearment, wrists still trapped between his hand as her fluffy tail swings rapidly and repeatedly hit his thigh. Y/n quickly nodded with flushed cheeks when she noticed he was waiting for an answer before feeling a silky sensation on her own tail, she hadn’t even realised it was hitting his thigh until his own black tail moved her own away and the contact it had made Y/n shudder.

Y/n fell straight back onto her legs that had made their way onto the couch without her realising and settled under her, she just sat dumbfounded for a second, knees under her body cushioning her fall as Yoongi let go of her wrists, her scent glands had been pushed together for so long that the pressure had her haze from before washing over her the second he let go, body slumping and naturally getting comfortable, trying to find the best position as she grabbed the blanket again and looked away from the panther.

She found she was never quite fulfilled with her position, moving constantly to try to find the best way to sit, the blanket moving with her as she continued her kneading. Yoongi never stopped watching her from the second he let go and was nearly as entranced by her as she was by him in that moment, those flush cheeks and plump lips, soft hair and tiny hands, sweet scent and soft body she was perfect, he had never seen someone so pretty,

He couldn’t watch her struggle any more and somehow knew exactly what to do, picking up his blanket as her small hands chased it and her eyes snapped.

“You know, it’s so much better around your shoulders, so soft isn’t it?” - Y/n could only hum in agreement as Yoongis scent flooded her senses when he leaned in to wrap the blanket around her, not even clocking the insinuation that it was his blanket, just revelling in the way her body felt warm and light, finally comfortable. She couldn’t help but chase the light feeling of his hands, purring loudly and leaning into his body as soon as he pulled away.

Namjoon gave Yoongi a pointed look as to let him know he shouldn’t let Y/n get any deeper but he already knew that, he already had everything purrfectly in control, a little bit of teasing and comfort would only assure her that he liked her, his acknowledgement of her game would make her look up to him, connecting them on a level no one had experienced with her yet. He would gladly lead her deeper into that state but that would have to wait for another time, when she was ready, when they were all ready.

“How does some hot cocoa sound? It’s getting even colder” - Namjoons smooth voice danced through the air as Y/n lazily looked at him with a dazy grin and nodded at the idea excitedly. She hadn’t even felt the cold, she had since forgotten her dilemma with herself about everyone’s clothes as Yoongis warmth and blanket made her feel like she was wearing pajamas around a fire on a cold evening, the perfect balance.

Namjoon happily stood up, slowly walking to the kitchen leaving the two felines, not without noticing Y/n’s hands kneading the side of Yoongi’s thigh, happily resting against him. Yoongi couldn’t help but want to let you, that was too far for today he worried so he instead let his long tail slide around her waist and under the hem of her shirt to hold just a small bit of her skin, she hadn’t minded, relaxing even more as their combination of scents clouded the room, any of the pack who walked into it would probably be trapped in a similar haze if they stay too long. Perhaps that’s why Namjoon left Yoongi wondered, he always was one of the touchiest mates and would definitely love to be in his position in that moment.

In The Kitchen

“She’s a lot more playful than I thought she would be Kook, it’s cute” - Namjoon said, a cheeky smile on his face as everyone turned to look at him.

“I thought she was-“ - Jungkook starts

“She was, Yoongi teased her out of it to where they are now” - Namjoon spoke fondly, looking off as his mind filled with the memory over and over. His mates looked at him curiously silently asking for him to say more.

“What happened?” - Jin asked, almost worried because he knew how intense Yoongis ‘teasing’ could be. Namjoon explained how everything happened with

“She really likes him” - Jungkook spoke, almost jealous at the realisation but he knew that everyone here wanted to be in Yoongis position in that moment. Instead of dwelling on it he just sped up his chopping - the only job he had to do. He figured if he was done then he could go join a Yoongi and Y/n

“I think it’s to be with them both being feline, maybe also Yoongi being a bigger cat than her, Y/n’s hybrid might know there’s a type of hierarchy and it drew her to like him, they seem so similar already” - Namjoon spoke intelligently curious about

“We could all be in that position soon” - Jimin said with a dreamy smile, wishing it was him in that moment but willing to wait for his own, somehow knowing she would be

“Do you think Y/n will like dessert?” - Jin said, his love language was feeding and he felt a strong need to impress Y/n, he couldn’t tell why but he just knew it had to be perfect. Even without knowing her preferences he got an idea that was perfect, all he had to think about was her scent and it came to him.

Not only was this dessert perfectly suited to her, it was also simple and all of his mates would love it too, it took him a split second to begin to gather all the ingredients after asking his question.

“She’ll love it if your the one making it Hyung” - Jimin said lovingly with a quick peck on Jin’s plump lips before they smiled at eachother, Jin nodded and his idea was set in stone in his mind. Strawberry cheesecake, the perfect dessert that compliments her and her scent and will also drive the boys crazy; he had realised that not only will it be delicious but his pack are definitely all wanting to taste her sweet scent and this could be the perfect fix to that craving, for now.

“Hyung I finished, I’m going to go check on Yoongi and Y/n” - Jungkook quickly said as he practically ran to the living room without looking back, the three watched as he ran straight into the thick air of the living room, almost immediately being drawn into a haze similar to the two felines’. His movement slowed and eyes dazed as he approached the two.

Y/n instantly looked up and smiled lazily at him, stopping her kneading on Yoongis thigh to grab Jungkooks hand to try to pull him in, in doing so putting pressure on his scent gland and forcing out his fresh aroma. In her haze, Y/n couldn’t resist bringing the source closer, holding his wrist close and taking in the scent he was letting out, he couldn’t help but flush at the action before turning to look at Yoongi.

“Yoongi Hyung your hogging Y/nie” - Jungkook said accusingly, he couldn’t stop the slight slur in his words and watched as Yoongi smirked up at him, amused to find his Kookie so jealous.

“Poor Jungkookie, you’ll give him some attention, won’t you Y/n?” - Y/n gave him a happy bid before holding Jungkooks wrists more and pulling him so fast he nearly lost his footing as he landed laying down, body on the other side of Y/n with his head on her thick thighs, he immediately felt himself flush at his position especially when he realised just how soft her thighs really were, his head nearly bounced up when he landed with how full they were. Her scent encased him in this position and it sent him into a very similar haze to Y/n, her tail not helping as it moved onto his neck, pressing onto his scent gland. Yoongi didn’t help his stunned state as he moved his hands to Jungkooks silky ears, rubbing the base softly.

The situation combined had Jungkooks eyes screwed shut and mouth slightly open in bliss, turning his head in towards Y/n’s soft stomach and not realising the affectionate eyes on him.

Y/n stared down at him, butterfly’s all over as her scent was impossibly sweet, he was many things to her but in that moment, she realised he might be someone that she loves and not as a friend. While that thought scared her, she knew she should take advantage of this moment and pushed her thoughts aside to enjoy the moment, her purring the loudest noise in the room.

The three on the couch were too deep into a scent haze to hear the new voices in the kitchen, they didn’t really need too because all threes eyes shot open from their lazy position when two new feline scents flooded the room. Both of the hybrids tails immediately flickered fast as they were told to introduce themselves. Y/n felt stunned by the two infront of her, both in drastically different outfits but equally attractive. She could guess who each hybrid was by their ears.

Taehyung was dressed in a striking brown faux fur coat with his white hair combed over messily, black turtleneck and black trousers, he was intimidating and ridiculously attractive just like the rest of this pack. His blue eyes bore into hers with such intensity that she knew he could feel her intimidating and also her butterflies from the sight of him. He was clearly dressed to impress but Y/n had a feeling he dressed this extravagant every day, especially as he owned a fashion company. She could hear the low rumble in his chest but it was somehow inviting, her hybrid counterpart subconsciously creating a similar rumble in her own chest, just a much softer and higher pitch than his.

He wasn’t the only intimidating figure however, next to him was a leopard, Hoseok, dressed drastically different but equally as fitting and attractive. Baggy blue jeans with a beige top under a black hoodie and avirex leather jacket, messy dark hair with his little highlights, it all fit so well into everything she’d heard about him. He was looking at her, head slightly tilted, naturally intimidating but incredibly inviting and breathtakingly handsome, he was the first to make any move.

“ you must be Y/n ?” Hoseok beamed brightly at her as he walked forward to greet her, his beauty took her breath away and she met his kind eyes with more confidence than she had with everyone else, feeling like they’d already met from how she’d met all of their mates.

“And you must be Hoseok?” It was slightly bold of her to reply like that, out of character for her but it felt natural and Y/n could tell Hoseok was also slightly surprised but it was quickly replaced by his bright smile, shining through as he observed the scene around him, Yoongi looking at him with a knowing expression. His tail started to swing faster as the scents around him started to make his eyes flicker and dilate. He moved closer to begin rubbing at the base of Yoongis ears, his purring getting louder as he leant into the touch. y/n watched carefully as his hands moved and she didn’t know she could be so attracted to a man’s hands before realising how all of these men’s hands were absolutely beautiful and equally quite sexy to her.

Her staring was cut off but a louder grumble in the white tigers chest as he stalked towards the group, never letting Y/n cut eye contact, almost making her worry slightly until she felt Jungkook rubbing at her thigh from her lap. His striking appearance had her silent, waiting for his move before making her own.

“Jungkook hasn’t stopped talking about you since he met you, you know; I can see why” - Taehyungs voice was incredibly deep, smooth and enchanting, it had Y/n’s ears fully turned in his direction, tail moving off of Jungkooks neck much to his protest and slightly waving behind her, the fur so fluffy it brushed over Hoseok hand with every move. Taehyungs own tail was thick and breathtaking, she really wanted to catch it and it was that urge that broke their eye contact, he still watched her carefully but her attention fell to his tail, moving so elegantly behind him, her claws had suddenly appeared as she kept watching but Taehyungs deep chuckle snapped her out of it, she felt like reverting back to the shy kitty she was before but not in a bad way, he made her shy in the best way.

“It’s nice to meet you” - she let out, voice quiet and eyes wide as she looked up at him, he knew she wanted to play but also knew they’d have to wait as right on that queue, Jin came into the room.

“Dinners ready now, Tae, Hobi, go change and we will be waiting for you when you get back, come to the table everyone” - He said sweetly as everyone began to move, all around the couch quite reluctant to move out of their current space but moving nonetheless. The Three originally on the couch were still slightly dazed but a bit of food would bring them right back.

Y/n had been lead hand in hand by Jungkook to the dining room which was equally as stunning as the rest of the home, achievements decorated the walls and it had various plants and other decorations adorning every corner. The fresh breeze passed through an open window as they each gathered around the food filled table. Jungkook lead Y/n to sit between him and Jimin, the two she had known longest as Tae and Hoseok joined the rest around the large table.

Everyone settled down and drinks were poured, Y/n had a selection of water, juice and wine and chose Wine as Hoseok poured her a generous glass, she thanked him appreciatively and took a sip, everyone else had opted for wine as it was a special occasion but no one minded one bit at her choice, she was more than happy with the sweet orange juice, freshly squeezed just before dinner started, it danced on her tongue and had her tail hitting the two mates on either side of her at the delicious taste.

“I wasn’t too sure what you would like Y/n, so I hope you enjoy” - Jin said as he too settled down and announced that everyone should start to dish up. Everyone moved quickly, Y/n moved herself to try to dish her own food up but Jimin and Jungkook beat her too it, filling her plate with lots of things to try. Once everyone started to eat, Y/n did too and that first bite was truly heaven. Her eyes widened, mouth salivated, cheeks puffed up and taste buds danced to the taste of Jins cooking, a muffled hum left her as she stared at the cook with admiration. Y/n was usually quite reserved but she couldn’t hold back her spew of compliments. Jin was left blushing, red from his neck to his ears as she told him how amazing he was, it was everything he wanted and everyone agreed with her compliments, from the drink to every last dish she told him how incredible it was, she couldn’t help it, appreciation had to be shown and he bathed in glory at that.

Dinner was A complete success, everyone grew more comfortable, food was shared, compliments were flying around, laughter was in every corner and it felt like they were a family, Y/n included, she felt part of them and they felt she was part of them too, it was the thing everyone tried to deny, there wasn’t just friendship that was inevitable here, it was romance, love, laughter and eternal happiness. Harmony that makes this pack home.

The atmosphere was perfect when Jin brought out the dessert, his incredible strawberry cheesecake that had everyone watering at the mouth to get a slice, which Jin took it upon himself to cut up. He cut slice by slice and gave Y/n the largest one, praying she’d love it and by the stars in her eyes he was hopeful that she would. The smell was perfect, it was beautifully constructed with the best proportion, everything was perfect.

Jin waited, watching secretly as Y/n took her first bite, observing the boys around him quickly devouring their own slices as they ooed and ahed at the delicate dessert he had created with so much love. The widening of Y/n’s eyes, tail flicking fast into the boys besides her and ears twitching as her body relaxed gave everything Jin needed but it didn’t end there, just a few words had him melting into himself, sitting there like a lovesick little bear.

“This is the best cheesecake I’ve ever had.” - It’s all Y/n had to say to have the polar bear wanting to stand up and sweep her up in a hug but he refrained to let her eat, until every last bit was gone.

Once everyone had finished, they talked for a while, Y/n getting involved as they included her in every conversation, the most random topics and the most relevant, all of them clicked. It was late now but everyone had more than enough energy, unfortunately everyone had work in the morning so Y/n made the decision to let Jungkook know she’d call a cab.

That didn’t go down smoothly as he heavily protested and insisted on driving her home even when she tried to deny his request. She finally gave in as everyone else agreed that she had to get driven home, protective over her and not wanting anyone else to be with her but them. That lead to Jin packing up two slices of the cheesecake for Y/n to take home, sad to see her go but happy that she’ll go with something to keep thinking of him by and to enjoy. Jungkook quickly realised how cold it was and quickly ran to his room to get something for Y/n.

She felt something soft and warm touching her shoulders and looked back as Jungkook told her to hold back her arms, sliding on an incredibly oversized black hoodie that juxtaposed her overall appearance entirely but somehow fit, maybe because it was his.

“I can’t have you getting cold on the way home, you could even use it as a blanket in the car” - he rambled, confidently moving around to zip up it up and she looked at him with so much love before thanking him with a shy smile.

Each of the pack waited at the door as they were about to leave, Jimin came forward first, crashing her into a warm embrace where he rocked them back and forth and told her how they needed to all see eachother again so soon. Then came Hoseok, even if he was one of the last to meet her, he still gave her a warm hug and held her tight as he talked about how nice it was to meet her. Yoongi came in next, lightly wrapping his arms around her waist and whispering in her ear

“Practice your speed for next time kitten” teasing her before letting her go, leaving her with a laughing smile. Namjoon knew that since everyone else was hugging her, he probably could too and came in with a gentle embrace, wrapping her small body in his and rubbing her back as he said his goodbyes. The second to last was Taehyung, despite their evident tension he came forward, wrapped her up in a tighter embrace than the rest and decided to tease , wrapping his tail around one of her arms for a moment

“We can play next time kitty” - It was all Y/n needed to know he did infact like her and would like to see her again, she was excited for the next time they would all meet. Finally was Jin who handed her the box and wrapped her in his arms, sneaking in a very light kiss on the head that had her blushing and smiling brightly against his chest. When all goodbyes had ended, the two left the home and made their way to the car, Y/n holding the cheesecake box tightly but they all noticed the immediate drop in theirs chests at the separation, they just all wanted to be back together again but Y/n was covered in their scent and so was Jungkooks hoodie and the pack home was heavily scented by Y/n too.

The walk back to the car was calm, cold but Y/n was shielded from the wrath of the oncoming winter by the hoodie she knew she’d treasure for as long as Jungkook let her, they stayed hand in hand until Jungkook had to let her go for her to get into the same Mercedes from before, he waited until she was fully inside to close the door before moving round and getting in himself. After checking their seatbelts were okay he started the car and knew he had a few minutes maximum to speak to her.

“I’m sorry you had to meet them all today, I hope you didn’t feel pressured to stay” - Jungkook said as it slipped his mind how overwhelming it may have become.

“Kookie it was lovely, it may have been unexpected but your mates are so amazing and live up to everything you said about them, of course I didn’t feel pressured to stay, I just hope we could do this again soon” - The last part was mumbled as she worried about his own opinion.

“They were all telling me the same things, we will do this again sooner rather than later yeah? They all love you, Jin even sent you home with his cheesecake that says enough” - He said the last part with a slight laugh but after finishing the conversation and getting Y/n’s address he settled in to the smooth journey, letting Y/n fall asleep, cuddled into his hoodie while he listening to ‘What You Need’ by the Weeknd on a low volume, the drive was blissful, the low lights in the car and soft purrs from Y/n, his favourite songs, it was perfect.

The drive felt like it lasted a long time and Jungkook savoured every second before pulling into the car park, taking a second to take in the sleeping princess next to him, her scent thick as he pushed his own out to coat the hoodie once again, hoping it’d stay forever. He did the same thing of getting out before waking her up with pressure to her scent glands, leading her out of the car with her cheesecake and letting her guide him to her door. She leant her head on his shoulder on the ride up the elevator, heart beating steadily and relaxing into him as she was still tired, he was disappointed when the ride ended but walked her to her door nonetheless.

“Thank you for an amazing day Kookie, your mates are amazing and your amazing, text me okay?” - Y/n started off, shy at her final words, she looked up at him as he stared back lovingly.

“Thank you, for being so patient and such a good guest, sleep well Y/nie” - Jungkook leant down slightly to wrap his arms tightly around her waist and take the leap he’s wanted to take before, he lifted her off the ground to hold her better, even if only for a few seconds the both of them more than enjoyed it and it pulled a few giggles out of Y/n who, when placed back down, still had her arms around his neck and pulled him down to place a peck to his cheek. She smiled meekly and immediately said goodbye after, leaving into her apartment as he stood dumbfounded and held his cheek.

She’d kissed his cheek, he almost couldn’t believe it as he remained dumbfounded his whole journey home, he couldn’t stop the flustered cheeks and cheeky smile the entire ride home, even when he got back into the house, he felt like the happiest bun in the world. Of course he didn’t forget to text her as she requested and slightly tease her for the kiss as he arrived home but he had to take a moment as he walked through the door, scent beaming.

‘I think I might be in love with her’

Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoy again, I’ll update whenever - feel free to ask questions or request drabbles! Excuse any errors or spelling mistakes x

ཐི♡ཋྀ

[silhouetteonpaper]

You’ve Changed

Summary: You’ve been hiding out for ages, living your own life now that you’ve chosen to be a solo-act agent. When someone from your past happens to appear at your door--this time with something on her mind--how will you react? Natasha Romanoff x Reader WC: 1,497 Warnings: None

“You’ve changed so much since the last time I saw you.” A voice fills the kitchen, leaving you startled as you turn to face the redhead standing in the open door frame. Her green eyes trail up and down your entirety for a moment as she takes in your appearance. You know you look quite different from the last time she saw you, over a year having passed since you left the compound.

“How’d you find me?” You ask with a slight coldness, turning back to the sink to finish putting stray dishes away. In reality, you don’t care how she found her way here, but a part of you is curious why Natasha’s standing in your apartment thousands of miles away from her own home.

“I told you I’d always keep an eye on you.” Natasha answers, stepping into the kitchen to eye all the things you have sprawled on the dining table. You peek over your shoulder to see her thumbing through the various papers. Maps, charts, diagrams, and clues sit covering at least half of the table, your next project in full fruition.

“Something caught your eye?” You question, crossing your arms as you lean against the counter. She’s certainly making herself at home. You don’t feel obligated to explain your use of all these documents, but something has her intrigued by them.

“Actually, that’s why I’m here. It seems we need your help with a mission, and you’re already two steps ahead.” She tells you, finally looking up to wait for a response. You say nothing at first, eyebrows raising for just a second as you feel a sense of surprise wash over you. It’s no secret that you left the compound to be on your own, when you felt like it was the best option for everyone since you don’t work well on a team.

What everyone doesn’t know is that you’ve continued your work as an agent, employed by whoever needs their dirty work done across the globe. You aren’t going to deny your capabilities as a top agent, you just couldn’t stay at the compound where you felt like a distraction more than a hero. Unfortunately your temper would get in the way more often than not, the constant bickering between you and your teammates jeopardizing missions.

“You came all this way just to see what information I have on a little mission?” You huff, leaning over the table to gather the documents. You stack them neatly and place them out of sight on a nearby bookshelf. You’ve been researching a specific target for months now, why would you share all your collected evidence this far along?

“We don’t just want the intel you have on this mission, we want you to join it.” She says plainly, her eyes refusing to leave you. You sigh, rubbing your forehead with your hand in contemplation. The last thing you expected was Natasha asking for help, let alone her showing up on your doorstep.

“After all this time, I never thought I’d see you crawling back for my help.” You admit, giving her a small smirk. She returns it, shrugging slightly as she speaks. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to offer your hand for this mission, you already have so much intel on it and could be of use. But what would that mean for you and Nat working together again?

“Life has a funny way of bringing people back together, doesn’t it?” Natasha expresses, earning a chuckle from you. You shake your head in disbelief, taking in the redhead standing in the room that was empty just a moment ago.

“When do we start?”

You show Natasha around the hideaway apartment you’ve rented for just over a year now since leaving New York. It stands in the center of Austria, hidden from any enemy eyes that could possibly be spying on a young agent. It was supposed to be hidden from the eyes of everyone, but it seems the Avengers once again proved their ability to locate anything and anyone.

“Is that blood?” Natasha asks, motioning to a worn floorboard with a mysterious stain.

“No?” You answer with hesitance, quick to move on to the next part of the apartment. It seems too soon to explain your continuation in crime fighting after moving to Austria. You know Natasha wouldn’t approve of your lifestyle, let alone the Avengers. They were always so protective over you, yet another reason why you needed to leave.

She doesn’t say anything, stepping cautiously over the floorboard as you move into the living room and conclude the tour.

Natasha informed you of the plan; tomorrow, you move to a safe house off the border of Romania where you’ll infiltrate a HYDRA base just a few miles out. You’re surprised at the trust held in your ability to infiltrate an enemy base, considering Natasha thinks the last time you engaged in any form of combat was at the compound.

While you both wait for the sun to set and the night to turn into morning, the two of you sit in the living room, silence echoing as the unfamiliarity of each other fills the room. You don’t know if Natasha feels betrayed, hurt, or even scared from your disappearance. You know how much she cares about you, or how much she used to anyway. Is there any bit of that caring nature left? Or was it demolished when you ran away from the one place you thought of as home?

“You promised you’d be safe when you left.” Natasha suddenly spoke, breaking the silent tension strung between you. Your head pops up, eyes moving from the window to her. What is she implying? What does she know?

“You promised you’d let me make my own decisions.” You remark, your gaze finding the window again. You aren’t going to give her the satisfaction of eye contact if she’s going to play this game.

“I don’t want you running around the world, fighting dangerous people you can’t handle on your own.” She jabs, her knowledge of your life here revealing itself. She knows you’re still an agent. Your eyes narrow, turning to face her completely. Your heart rate increases, unaware that she’d still think you aren’t capable of this lifestyle.

“I can fend for myself, thanks. If you have such a big problem with me making a living, you can leave. Figure out the mission yourself.” You stand up in a rush, preparing to get some space from the woman you barely recognize. It seems she doesn’t even recognize you either, unwilling to accept your true state as an adult now.

You freeze at the words that fall from her lips next. “You’re not the person I thought you were.” She says softly. Is that supposed to be some sort of apology?

“That’s what happens when people grow up. They change. They find aspirations, goals. They live their lives.” You voice, slowly turning back to face her. You feel the silence creep over the room as she pauses a moment to think.

“What I mean is, you’re more mature. You’ve grown, in more ways than one.” She laughs. “I wanted you to join me on this mission because I know you can handle it. I thought I was doing the right thing, coming here after all that time even though you wanted space, but…” Natasha trailed off, thinking over her decision asking you to join her. She was beginning to regret bothering you, and slowly understood you are an adult now who can decide things for yourself. You’re not the young, reckless teenager you used to be.

At the end of the day, regardless if you’re at the compound or moved out, living your own life, Natasha is like an older sister. She was there when you were rescued from HYDRA, she was there when you were a scared little girl. She was there when you decided you wanted change, when you didn’t want to be a superhero like the rest of them.

But today, she’s here. Although unsure if the girl before her is still the same exact young shadow that once roamed the halls of the compound following closely in her stead, or if she’s truly an adult that doesn’t need anyone anymore. You don’t know how much of either is true.

“Natasha…” You finally responded, turning to face her. “You’re the only one who knows me, the real me. Maybe even better than I do. I never thought I’d admit that, but it’s true. I wasn’t expecting you to show up here, but a part of me is glad you did. I missed you.” You admit, offering a small heartfelt smile. She easily returns it, her hand finding yours to hold.

That’s when Natasha takes a deep breath, and it’s easy to see the gears turning in her mind. “So, about that mission…?”

You laugh, finally nodding in agreement. “Let’s do it. Together, just like old times.”

[strawberrylore]

I said I was going to write a story based on how I just got my heart broken and I’m pulling a fanfic move and moving back to my hometown.

Pairing: Logan Howlett x Reader

Written on phone at 3AM, while heartbroken.

Might suck but feedback and constructive critism is always welcomed. Just be nice.

Possibly might do a part 2. Possible happy ending, depending on the mood I’m feeling.

Song on blast as I’m writing this is August.

You Were Never Mine

You knew it was going to happen. You felt it deep inside, you just chose to ignore it. You held on to false hope, thinking that maybe you were just overthinking it. He had started being distant. You thought that maybe he was just busy, or had a lot on his mind.

But you knew deep down that wasn’t the case. You just hadn’t expected that it had something to do with her.

You thought he had gotten over it, but you were wrong. He was wrong.

But what could you do? You can’t force him to stay. You can’t force him to love you the way you love him. You let him go easily.

But your heart still yearns for him. You hadn’t seen him in a few weeks. He was sent on a mission by Charles. You had planned to tell him that you loved him when he came back. You had wanted to cook him dinner, make something he had always wanted to try.

But when he came back, he didn’t really talk to you. You felt something was off, you had even told your friends back home about it, but you thought it was just that the mission hadn’t gone the way he wanted it to.

But how wrong you were. He had sat you down and told you the heartbreaking news.

“I’m sorry. I thought I was over her, but I was wrong.”

Your world shattered as you heard those words come out of his mouth. Tears instantly clouded your eyes.

“What?”

He looked down and took a deep breath.

“I’m not over her. And I can’t continue on with you if I’m not over her. It’s not fair to you.”

Tears were falling from your eyes. You took a deep breath and putting your head in your hands.

“I’ve been thinking about her. This. For weeks. I’m sorry. I know you didn’t want to hear this but I can’t drag you along.” He tried to take ahold of your hand but you pushed him away. You sat up abruptly.

You didn’t want to face him. You couldn’t, lest you breakdown even further.

“I appreciate your honesty Logan. I really do. Thank you for letting me know before this could’ve turned much more serious.”

In reality, you and Logan had been seeing each other for 4 months. Before that you had feelings for him. But he was with Jean.

They had ended badly. He didn’t date anyone for months but he had asked you out.

You foolishly thought that she wasn’t going to affect him and his relationships anymore.

“In reality Logan. I felt this coming. Just didn’t expect it to be because of her.”

He looked down, he looked guilty.

“I hope you can figure it out Logan. I’m glad you told me. Don’t worry about me. I should’ve been prepared for it.” Your voice failed you, but you didn’t turn to look at Logan’s reaction.

“Again. I’m so sorry.” Logan stood, trying to step closer to you, but you didn’t let him.

“I know. But that’s okay. I can’t force you to be in a relationship when you aren’t in it fully.” You move further, wanting to step out of his room.

“I wish things were different. I really like you, but I know that if we kept going, I’ll only break your heart.” Logan said. He sounded conflicted. But he knew he had to be honest with you.

“I know what you mean. I’m glad you were honest with me.” You started to head out.

“I wish you luck.”

You don’t know why, but that shattered whatever remaining hope that maybe, just maybe, he’ll come to his senses and realize that everything he could ever want was right in front of him. You shake your head, trying to stop yourself from sobbing.

“You as well.”

With that, you stepped out and closed the door behind you.

You went to your room. You didn’t want anyone to see you.

As you got inside, you headed to your bathroom. You turned the sink on and splashed water on your face.

You looked in the mirror, thinking about everything that’s happened. You couldn’t take it anymore and broke down in heavy sobs, falling to the bathroom floor and hugging your knees to your chest.

You wondered why. Why did it always have to be you? You always had the worst of luck finding someone, someone who treated you with respect and love. Then you found the one, only for him to be ripped from you as well.

You couldn’t take it. You needed air.

You got off the floor, you headed to the balcony attached to your room.

You took deep breaths as you tried to calm your crying.

You needed out.

The only reason you had stayed at the mansion was for Logan. You had wanted to go back home, to your friends. To your family. But Logan was the one thing keeping you here.

Now that that’s done, you didn’t have anymore excuses. You had decided right then and there that you were going back home.

[a-spes]

Hi I was rereading devious lies and I was thinking ab if nat and yn were to meet again and everything, yn would have the biggest trust issued ever. First her best friend took advantage of her and ruined her life, then the ones she considered family turned their backs on her without even letting her explain her side, and ofc how her lover shouted in her face that she's not welcome there anymore and how yn shouldn't even talk with her anymore ever. How the last time the team looked at her it was with anger and dissapointment That and also from the first part where she herself admitted to feeling like a stranger amongst her once friends and family.

Idk what you have in store for us for when you're feeling better and out of the writing block that you're currently experiencing, but I can't wait to read it. Take as long as you need, we're here!

˚ 　 ⋆ ⁺ ₊ ✦ ⁺ ₊ 　 ˚ 　. ˚ . 　 ☁ . 　　. 　 ˚ 　⁺ ₊ ⁺ ✦ 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖘𝖈𝖆𝖗𝖘 𝖎𝖓 𝖔𝖚𝖗 𝖍𝖊𝖆𝖗𝖙𝖘 ₊ . 　 ˚　. ✧ ⁺ ✦ ₊　 　 ☁ ˚　 . ⁺ ₊ ✧ ˚　 . 　  ˚　 ⁺ ₊ ˚

₊ ⁺ ✦ ₊　 　 ☁ 　˚　 . 　⁺ ₊ ✧ ˚　　 . 　  ˚ ˚ 　. ☁ ˚ 　. ˚ 　 ✩ ₊ ˚ . ☾ ⋆ ⁺ ₊ ✧   　　˚ ⁺

˚　 . ⤳ DEVIOUS LIES — Bonus part, 'the scars in our hearts' (6.280 words).

⋆ ⁺ ₊ ✧ ⤳ SUMMARY — Anon request — “ It has been years since the events, and when you eventually got the chance to go back with them, you thought everything would be the way it used to be. except it wasn't. three years, almost four, is a lot of time, and the people you used to know and the building you called your home do not feel the same anymore. Maybe you've been gone for too long to hope to find a place in their new life. ”

. ☁ ˚ ⤳ TAGS & WARNINGS — Natasha Romanoff x Reader, Avenger!Reader, Female!Reader, Other Avengers x Reader (brief mention of them). Bittersweet, (kind of) angst with comfort. Self-doubt, mental health issues, mention of bad coping mechanisms, toxic relations.

˚ . ⤳ MOODBOARD ⊱⋆⊰ MASTERLIST ⊱⋆⊰ TO SAY SOMETHING ✦ Part one. Part two. Part three. ⊱⋆⊰ the scars in our hearts.

˚ 　 ⋆ ⁺ ₊ ✦ ⁺ ₊ 　 ˚ 　. ˚ . 　 ☁ . 　　. 　 ˚ 　⁺ ⁺ ✦ ₊　 　 ☁ ˚　 . ⁺ ₊ ✧ ˚　 . 　  ˚　 ⁺ ₊

You’ve been told that you just needed a bit of time to adjust, because you come a long way, but they didn’t say how long ‘a bit of time’ was. So the months passed, they soon became years, and if you’ve still made no progress, you kept hoping. Every day, you repeat yourself that you only need ‘a bit more of time’ and that, soon, with just a little extra effort, everything will eventually be fine. 

Except that you’ve never been a patient person.

They made it sound easy. They made you believe that everything would go back to the way it used to be in weeks, and you’ve fallen for their sweet words because you were craving for them to be true. You have dreamed of that moment, and every day you’ve spent far from them was spent thinking about the day they would ask you to come back. It is a little fantasy you’ve been holding on to for the past few years, but the tears, hugs, and excuses you’ve spent hours to imagine never became a reality. No, you only got silent glances.

It has been almost three years since you came back, and it still wasn’t enough. Sometimes, you think about letting go of that dream of yours, the one that makes you believe that things could still get back to normal, even when nothing was —; but how could you do something like that? How could you possibly think about abandoning them again when they’ve been willing to give you a second chance? You weren’t ready yet to accept that the home you’ve been longing to return didn’t feel like it anymore, at least not without first trying your hardest to make things right. Thus you kept pushing yourself a bit more everyday, at the cost of your health — which seemed a very small price to pay in exchange for the feeling of being at home again.

Two years is not a lot of time in a human life but these years still felt like an eternity to you, and you’ve never been so aware of how long they have been as when you came back, realizing the gap that had opened up between you and the others. Your life has fallen apart that day, leaving you with such small pieces of yourself that you weren’t able to rebuild on your own —; but them? It is as if they’ve lost nothing. They’ve spent those two years building a life in which you’ve never existed, one that you are now supposed to find a place in. Every day is just a painful reminder of what you have lost, and will never get back despite your hopes. Your dream slipped away just when you touched it with your fingertips.

You have to accept that you are not a part of the system anymore, you are just the pebble that derails the machine, and that ruins everything —; but you should be used to it, shouldn’t you? To that feeling of shame and sorrow that your heart has been carrying for years, that feeling of failure and permanent disappointment.

Some nights, out of habit, you push the wrong door, and you find yourself in the room you used to share with Natasha. Once full of life, it had now become austere. Yet, there is something comforting about being in that room full of old memories, it is a bittersweet feeling that’s both like a heartbreak and a warm hug. You've never been much of a drinker, or at least you've always been careful enough not to get wasted. But you’ve made an exception tonight, because everything seemed to be too much, and you wouldn’t have survived the party if you hadn’t drowned everything in alcohol.

It is the way they kept laughing that got on your nerves, jealousy rising inside of you every time a new joke was told that you couldn’t understand “because you weren’t here” —; but Wanda wasn’t here either, and yet, she laughed along with them, why? Because she hasn’t lost her place with them, she is still a part of the family. They promised that they would tell their stories and explain their jokes later, because it was too long to do it now, but you were aware that it was just a lie to give you the impression that you weren’t on the sidelines.

It wasn’t very effective.

They spent the whole night telling stories that you couldn’t understand and sharing jokes you couldn’t laugh at, and while they remembered things that you didn’t have a chance to live by their side, giving you an overview of all the things you’ve missed, you were silently sitting on the couch, trying to ignore the knot in your throat. You didn’t even try to take part in the conversation —; what could you possibly have said anyway? You are not sure they would have wanted to hear about how miserable your life was when you were gone, how lonely and desperate you’ve been during these years. It would be an admission that you missed them, needed them.

Instead you kept your attention on the bottles of alcohol, at least they would never let you down —; that’s the advantage when the parties are organized by someone like Tony: you will never run out of booze. You were so uninvolved in what was going on around you, that you missed the worried glances that Natasha and Wanda shared, and they didn’t need to talk to understand each other, to know that they both had the same concerns.

Everyone does, but you’ve made it clear in your first few weeks back that you didn’t want their pity. There was no comfort in the way they looked at you and, quickly, their presence became too much. They were always there, never letting you completely alone despite the appearance and trying to meet your needs before you could even ask, pretending that they knew better than you do —; but they don’t. They have no idea of what you need, because how could they when you’re not even sure yourself?

The loneliness you’ve asked for isn’t more comforting, but at least it comes with familiar feelings, some that you’ve learned how to deal with the past few years. On the contrary, you still hadn’t gotten used to their presence, and you had no idea of how to deal with these contradictory feelings that were starting to grow inside of yourself. While a part of you wanted to lean in their embrace, the other rejected their overwhelming affection. A way of protecting yourself that won out, taking the form of uncontrolled anger and, after days of being yelled at and random objects being thrown at their faces, they’ve eventually got the hint that they should let you alone.

They’ve given up on you —; but that’s exactly what you wanted, isn’t it? 

You can’t be sure, but you are trying to convince yourself that it is better that way. You’re not worth the trouble, and they definitely can’t spend all their energy trying to save you when people are actually dying outside. You would be fine, you would get through it —; right? Because that’s what you’ve always done, and there is no reason that this time would be any different —; you are strong, with or without them by your side. You just need a little bit of time for your scars to heal and then, everything will be back the way it used to be. 

Except that, despite the appearances, those thoughts never really left your mind. Sometimes, you think about your return and what would have happened if they hadn’t found you that day —; maybe everything would have been easier. For you, sure, but also for them. You are not even sure they would have accepted your return if they had a choice —; you wouldn’t have. At least when you weren't there, there wasn't that constant tension that now reigned over the tower, one that followed you into every room you set foot in. 

So you’ve made a decision —; you would rebuild yourself without them. You would make a new name for yourself, a new life, even if it means leaving them behind. There is this growing will deep inside you, the one that feeds off your anger and jealousy, and it’s the one to get your revenge. You want them to suffer as much as you have, to realize what they’ve done, and regret every of their actions. You want them to crawl back at your feet, begging for your forgiveness because you are tired of being the only one to make efforts.

You have waited so long for them to say or do the right thing, but the moment has never come because they can’t possibly understand your situation, let alone knowing what you really need to get better —; how could they when you ignore it too? Nothing feels right anymore. You have tried a lot of things but nothing works. Your life is now like a jigsaw puzzle whose pieces refuse to fit together. There is no way to make things go back the way they were, you could only keep on pretending. 

And so you did, locking yourself into a routine. Each day you alternate between training, going on missions or attending meetings, leaving yourself little free time. This hectic schedule has the advantage of allowing you to avoid the presence of others and keeping you from thinking too much while making you more efficient —; it is perfect, isn’t it? It is, most of the time but, some days, the illusion falters, and the facade you’ve built shatters, revealing the truth you are trying to hide.

That’s how you found yourself stumbling into your old bedroom, the one that now smells of dust, desperate for some comfort and familiarity. You didn’t even make it to the bed, falling miserably asleep on the carpet —; you didn’t have the strength to get up when you tripped over your own feet, too drunk to take more than a few clumsy steps.

⊱ ★ ⊰

There is only one person in the team who is willing to give you the space you asked for without agreeing to give up on you yet —; and it is Natasha.

You may not notice it, but the woman has always been here for you since you came back to live with them. It must be said that her gestures are minute, almost imperceptible, but they always manage to draw a slight smile on your lips without you realizing it —; she was perfectly aware that if you knew it was from her, you would start hating on those little things that made your daily life at the tower a little sweeter.

She is the one who always accidentally cooks more food than she needed, making sure there was always a portion waiting for you in the fridge. She is the one who makes sure that your favorite cutlery is always clean. She is the one who buys your favorite flowers to put them in the common room’s vase and never lets them fester. She is the only one who has taken the time to make you feel at home with a bunch of details that are so insignificant that you’ve barely noticed them.

But at least it helped soothe the guilt her heart carried, because these actions are proof that she was fulfilling the promises she had made to you a long time ago, in the secrecy of the night, under a starry sky, whispered words that has been immediately blown away by the wind —; “I’ll always be there for you,” she had said. “Promise?” you’ve asked, your eyes full of hope. “Promise,” she had replied before your lips touched, sealing the contract.

One she broke years ago, when she dragged you out of the tower without letting you a chance to explain yourself. The woman is perfectly aware that flowers and some meals won’t be enough to earn your forgiveness, but she still made it her mission to look after you from afar —; because if she doesn’t, who would? You don’t let anyone get close to you, and the others haven’t looked any further, giving up at the first sign of trouble. She doesn’t blame you for not trusting her, or the other members of the team, she just wishes that you would accept at least one of their helping hands. 

But you’ve rejected everyone. 

Even Wanda, with whom you seemed, at one time, to be getting on well which had given the redhead hope. Those hopes had been shattered the day you violently pushed the witch away without any clear explanation, and the woman blames herself for that, for not knowing what to do in order to help you —; because she should know, right? That’s her role, the promise she had made years ago.

If she can’t, if no one can, what will you become?

You may be able to fool everyone, including yourself, into thinking that you are fine, but you won’t get her to fall for your little tricks. She knows the truth. She can see it in your fake smiles, she can read it in your tired eyes. She knows you by heart, she hasn’t forgotten those years spent by your side, and she has become a master at spotting your bad habits and the sublet signs that accompany them. 

So, tonight, she couldn't have possibly missed how firm your grip has been on the bottles of alcohol, nor how quiet you've been the whole time. But it is only when she saw the door to your old bedroom ajar that she understood the extent of your pain. You were hitting rock bottom, you would have never set foot in this room full of memories otherwise. She knew this because she, too, avoided it like the plague, and hadn’t dared return in it since that day, not even to empty it. For five years, it had remained the same.

The woman is willing to give you the space you asked for as long as you are taking care of yourself, it is the silent promise she made, but it is obvious that you have failed to do so lately as she has seen you slowly falling back into your old habits. The ones she thought you had left behind, the ones she had helped you to overcome years ago. She is ready to accept that you could build a life without her, it is a cost worth paying if it’s the one to your happiness, but you haven’t built anything lately. Nor have you been happy, and she couldn’t bear anymore the sight of you destroying yourself, again.

The redhead is tired of the situation. She is annoyed that everyone is playing your games by pretending that everything is fine because it only encourages you down this dangerous path, one that may cost your life one day. She is angry with anyone who takes the easy way out, because it is obvious that it is easier to act as if all that history belonged to the past rather than acknowledge their mistakes.

At first, she had agreed to play along, but it was only because she thought that it was what you needed and that, when you were ready, you would talk to them. Except that it has been a bit more than two years, almost three, since they brought you back, and you still haven’t told a word about it. The woman didn’t know how long she would be able to put up with your silence on this story and your obvious discomfort.

But it seems that the sight of you asleep on the dusty carpet of the room you once shared was the last straw for the woman who decided to step in. You are probably going to hate her tomorrow, but she doesn’t care —; she is not even sure you could possibly hate her more than you already do. She would rather know that you are safe, even if it means losing you a little more so she decides to call your name multiple times.

It is the sound of her voice who wakes you up. It doesn’t matter how deeply asleep you were because you can’t ignore her when she practically screams out your name, and you are inevitably roused from your slumber. When you opened your eyes, a growl escaping your lips to signal your displeasure, all you could see was a blurred figure with red hair that could only belong to one person. One you could recognize anywhere.

‘What are you doing?’ she asked, a mixture of annoyance and concern tinged her voice, but you weren’t aware enough of your surroundings to notice it. Maybe if your hand hadn’t been so heavy on the alcohol, then you would have noticed the tone of her voice.

‘I am sleeping, can’t you see?’ you grumbled, but as soon as the words escaped your mouth, the frustration was replaced by a laugh —; this question was stupid, you realize. Isn’t she supposed to be a trained spy, and one of the best, too? Then why couldn’t she see what was right in front of her? Something that obvious? 

Maybe she doesn’t know either because your question is followed by silence. Her only answer has been to sigh and pinch the bridge of her nose. It was going to be a long night, she already knew it, but wasn’t sure she had the energy to deal with that.

‘Come here,’ you said when the woman didn’t react. Your words were accompanied by the gesture of grabbing her arm in order to pull her toward you, the woman losing her balance because of the surprise. 

Since she had found you, you had never asked for her presence. On the contrary, you had rejected and hated her. At best, you would tolerate her presence, but only when your job didn’t give you a choice, and so this sudden change in your behavior disconcerted her, especially the laugh that escaped your lips when she fell on top of you —; it is a sound that she has never thought she would hear again. So pure, so sincere.

‘Get up,’ she coldly says, not amused at all by your little games. If circumstances had been different, she probably would have found your attitude endearing and stayed a little longer in your arms. Except there was nothing healthy about this sudden closeness after months of hatred, so the woman immediately got up, inviting — ordering — you to do the same —; the sooner she puts you to bed, the sooner she can get back to hers.

Tonight, she had no patience. The woman was exhausted, and frustrated —; you weren’t the only one to suffer from the situation. She knows that your clinging state is just an illusion, the result of the alcohol you’ve ingested, and that the very next day you’re going to hate her again. If she wanted nothing more than to believe everything would be okay now, and to find comfort in your arms, she couldn’t bring herself to do it. Not when she knew she would lose it all again at sunrise. This scene is only a chimera, a reminder of what she had lost several years earlier as the result of her own actions.

If anything happens tonight, you would both regret it. Nothing can come from the actions of two tipsy and exhausted people. Except that your mind wasn’t clear enough to realize it, and all you could think about in that moment was how you were craving for Natasha’s attention. You wanted her to wrap her arms around you and whisper that everything will be fine now, because she is here. You wanted her to promise to never let you down, again. Even if it is a lie. Even if, one day, she will abandon you again —; because that’s what they all do despite the promises, isn’t it? At that moment, you didn’t care about the lies, you just wanted something to hold onto, just an ounce of comfort.

‘I caaaaaan’t,’ you whined, but you didn’t even try to do so. When you stretch out your arms towards the redhead, she gets the hint that you’re expecting her to help you, which she does. The woman knows how stubborn you can be so she grabs your hands and pulls you on your feet, sighing.

Except that you seem to find the idea of testing the limits of her kindness particularly amusing because you make no effort to pull yourself upright, or to stand on your feet —; or maybe you were just that wasted. You’re barely standing when you fall forward, leaving no choice to the woman who has to catch you before you hit the ground.

‘Got you,’ you whispered, a grin on your face, when you felt her arms around your waist.

The thought of dropping you crossed her mind, but all she did was to playfully roll her eyes. The woman should be annoyed by the situation —; right? But how could she when you are so adorable? It has been a long time since she last saw such a peaceful expression on your face. Your eyes were half closed, you looked as if you were about to fall asleep in her arms, and there was a faint smile on your lips. You seemed so content, nestled in her arms with your cheek pressed against her chest, that she hardly dared to move, fearing to break this well-deserved moment of peace. For a moment, it was as if nothing had happened, and the sorrow on your face had dissipated, giving way to a childlike insouciance —; a sight that made her heart melt.

You are the one who broke the silence first.

‘I’ve missed you..,’ you whispered. A confession so unexpected that the woman is not sure if she had understood your words. When her eyes looked down, searching for yours, you hadn’t moved, your eyes still closed. It was almost as if you hadn’t spoken, and that the words had been nothing more than a figment of her imagination. 

‘Me too,’ she softly replied and, maybe, if you had opened your eyes at that moment, you would have noticed the tears that clouded hers — but you couldn’t do that, because you don’t want her to see the tears that you are trying to hold back, right? The one that would just run down your cheeks the moment you open your eyes. 

‘Please, stay with me tonight,’ you asked —; no, you begged. You’ve lifted your head until your eyes finally meet hers, both were shining with the tears that threatened to fall —; you are the first one to give in.

The mere thought of Natasha leaving you was enough to shatter your last ramparts. You have just regained her embrace, you don’t want to be forced to leave her now, not after so many years of hoping to regain the comfort you thought you had lost forever. You have been too stubborn to admit that you needed help, and so you’ve spent years pushing everyone away, thinking that you didn’t deserve their affection. It has been so long that you can’t even remember the last time someone held you this way, with such delicacy and care.

It gave you hope. The one that, maybe, for at least one night, things could be the way they used to be —; just tonight, or even just a few hours. You just want that moment to last a little longer, you don’t want to spend another night alone in your bed, in your cold and austere bedroom with a depressing atmosphere. You want more than that, you want a reason to stay, a reason to try again, and to get up tomorrow —; you want Natasha back. You want your old life back.

Except that the woman won’t give in. It is not that she doesn’t want to, on the contrary, she shares the same wishes that you, but her mind is clear, and she knows that nothing good would come out of it —; you can’t get back to what you used to have. You can’t change the past, nor can you pretend it doesn’t exist.

‘I can’t..,’ she softly replied after a second of silence that marked her hesitation, ‘you know that baby, we both,’ she added, the nickname naturally escaping her lips when she noticed that more tears were threatening to fall from your eyes. 

She wants to say yes, you can read it in her eyes, hear it in her silences —; then why doesn’t she say it? Why does she keep pushing you away when you are eventually ready for her to be back? Isn’t what she has wanted when she spent all those months begging you to accept her help? It is, but she didn’t want it that way, she didn’t want to take advantage of a moment of weakness on your part. She wanted to earn your forgiveness, to show you that you could trust her again, and if she had to work every day until she dies to achieve that goal, then she would do it. 

‘Why not?’ you immediately asked back, ‘you are here, and so am I, and- and our bed is waiting for us,’ you started rambling. You couldn’t speak clearly, the words racing through your head as you tried to convince her, but you knew it was a losing battle. You were so desperate that your hands clung tightly to the fabric of her shirt, as if it could be enough to stop her from leaving. ‘Please,’ you begged once more when she didn’t react. At this point, your voice was nothing more than a broken whisper, ‘just for tonight, we could pre~’ 

‘Pretend that nothing has happened?’ she softly asked, finishing your sentence, and all you could do was nodding. ‘But you know we can’t do that baby,’ she said, hating the way you were looking at her with so much hope, as if you thought that one night in her arms could ease all your problems —; but it can’t. It won’t. 

As she talks, one of her hands tucks a lock of your hair behind your ears. The touch is so gentle that you can resist, and lean into her embrace. The feeling of her hand caressing your head leaves too soon for your liking. 

‘Sometimes, I wish that we could,’ you replied, ‘that I could either forget everything, or go back in time to make everything right,’ you confided in her, sharing your thoughts with someone for the first time.

The words have barely crossed the barrier of your lips that you crumble, because you realize that this wish will never come true. You can no longer hold back your tears, you can only hide your face in the hollow of her neck, hoping she won’t see those. Only, each of your sobs shakes your body so violently that anyone could understand your state in one glance. The woman doesn’t know what to do so she cautiously wraps her arms around you and cradles your body in an attempt to sooth your sobs —; it’s the least she can do.

‘You’ve done nothing wrong, love, nothing was your fault,’ she whispered, and you can hear that her voice is feverish —; she, too, is holding back tears. She can’t bear to see you like this. ‘I am sorry, so sorry,’ she added while she rocks you slowly. Those words weren’t for tonight, and how she had to refuse your proposal, but they were for everything that has happened since that day. Those excuses were for all the things she has done or said since but, most importantly, for all the things she didn’t have the courage to do and the ones she couldn’t. 

⊱ ★ ⊰

The following morning, you’re woken up by Jarvis, his voice echoing through the room, terribly loud and impossible to ignore. A grunt escapes your lips, you were hoping for a few more hours of sleep —; or best, for an eternal slumber. The night before, like the rest of the team, you went to bed late, and the quantities of alcohol ingested are definitely not helping with your condition because you were the victim of a terrible headache. Only, it is impossible for you to ignore Jarvis’ voice. He has been calling your name over and over again for several minutes now, trying to get the attention you are trying to not give him —; but even with your hands covering your ears, his voice would pierces your eardrums.

‘You are not answering me, miss y/n,’ he stated the obvious, ‘do you want me to warn the others that you are sick? My sensors indicate tha~’

‘Please, Jarvis, shut up,’ you mumble, still managing to be polite despite the rising frustration, and you really hope it will be enough for him to leave you alone —; but anyone who knows the AI knows that these hopes are in vain. 

Nonetheless, you have to admit that he is right about one thing: you are not feeling so good —; but who would after attending one of Stark’s parties? He always says that if your head is not sore and your throat is not burning the next day, then you haven’t enjoyed yourself enough. Surely you have enjoyed enough to last a lifetime, although you are not naive enough to swear to never touch a bottle again in your life. Yet, you’ve thought of it for an instant, the lingering nausea making you regret your actions because it gave you the unpleasant feeling that you might throw up at any time.

God, you were weak. So weak that everything was feeling too much right now, even the faint sunlight making its way into your room —; it makes you want to bury yourself alive to avoid all these sensations, and to die. Except you can’t because you have a mission that is scheduled for today and, if you don’t show up soon, they will come looking for you, which is the last thing you want. You have spent weeks preparing for that, you definitely can’t let them down now, especially not because you are just too stupid to know your limits.

You have abandoned them once, you won’t make the same mistake a second time. They won’t be so forgiving this time, no one forgives someone who does the same mistake twice —; no one gives a second chance to traitors. It has been several years since you came back, but you still feel like you are on probation and you need to prove to them that they can count on you. You can sense their hesitation to trust you, even though they insist that everything is fine —; pretending that everything is the way it used to be. It is their new favorite game, but you hate it. Y

et, you don’t have much choice but to play by their rules.

‘Are you sure? Becaus~’ 

‘I said, shut. the. fuck. UP!’ you yelled, not giving him to finish his sentence, already reaching the limits of your patience, ‘what’s so difficult to understand in those two words?’ you growled in frustration, and you can’t help but throw a pillow at the walls. The gesture is useless because it doesn’t even manage to ease the tension you feel, nor does it convince Jarvis that he needs to stop talking because he starts lecturing you about your actions. 

Actually, the only way you have found to shut him up was to get up and join the others for breakfast. Fortunately, only Tony and Steve were there. They are the ones you are going on mission with today, and that’s what they were talking about before you entered the room.  Even though you would rather stay alone, talking about missions is something you can do with little effort because it is easy. You need your brain, but you can turn off your emotions. You do not have to worry about saying the wrong thing or how to avoid an uncomfortable silence. It is familiar, and comforting. It has been a while since you've been sitting at this table talking about something else —; when you are not talking about work, you stay silent. It seems that you have forgotten how to interact with them during those years. 

As they go through the details of the mission one last time, you are playing with your breakfast, not interested in the oat flakes floating in your milk, nor in their voices that forms a dull hum in the background, their words not even reaching your ears —; because you are thinking, your eyebrows furrowed with worry. Except that your state isn’t caused by the reasons they think it is, neither the alcohol nor the mission are in your mind, only a certain spy with whom you shared a moment last night. One you would rather forget because the simple thought of the thing you have said, and done, is enough to fill you with rage and embarrassment.

‘Hi to the moon, here the earth,’ Tony said, snapping his fingers in front of your face to get your attention, ‘were you even listening to us?’ he sighed, but you don’t notice any annoyance in his voice. Only a sickening worry that you can read in his eyes, a feeling that he doesn’t share and doesn’t hide very well. You hate it, when they look at you that way, as if you could break at any moment, as if they needed to be careful —; but you can take it. You can take everything, and you definitely do not need their permanent protection. 

‘No, sorry, I was lost in my thoughts,’ you admitted, giving him a smile that I hoped to be convincing enough to reassure him.

‘Do not worry, everything is going to be fine, okay? We will be here to make sure of that,’ Steve intervened, trying to reassure you about what he thought was the cause of your worries, but his tone didn’t feel comforting to you. If anything, it made you grit your teeth and clench your hand harder around your spoon, increasing your irritation. You don’t really know why, but Steve has been the hardest to get along with since you have come back, maybe it is because of his seemingly false sympathy. 

‘Thank you,’ you managed to mumble, even though you don’t really mean it —; it was still better than the snide comment that made its way in your mind. You even made the effort to smile, one that anyone could see as fake, but not Steve, because he never really pays attention to the others.

The words burn on the tip of your tongue, and you have to bite it to not shout out to him what you are really thinking. You want nothing more than to tell him that you are as capable as anyone around this table. You have proven yourself over the last few months, succeeding in every mission they have given you, what more do you need to do for them to have faith in your abilities again? Reach for the moon? Because you are ready to do it if that’s the price to pay. You are desperate enough to do anything they would ask. 

In reality, you are not worried at all about the upcoming mission because that is not a possibility. You don’t fail, ever, and if you need to give pieces of yourself and mind in order to complete a mission, then you are ready to do it without flinching. 

No, your thoughts were occupied by something else —; or someone else. Something that was more difficult to manage because there is no guide to follow. This person is Natasha, and the cause of your worries is the moment you shared last night because you have no explanation for what happened —; you thought she hated you, and that you hated her. Aren’t you both supposed to despise each other for the pain you’ve caused? Then why do some of you still yearn for her presence? Why didn’t she reject you and, instead, decided to take care of your mess? This even wasn’t meant to be. The redhead is the last person that should have witnessed you in such a vulnerable state, and yet she is the one you have sought attention from, the only one you needed last night —; and you hate that. You hate how your feelings are still the same even after so many years.

That is exactly why, the second the woman that is haunting your thoughts stepped in the room, you left it, pretending that you needed to get ready for the mission. There is no way that the way you walked out of the room, leaving your untouched breakfast behind you, didn’t bring questions to their minds but you were long gone before any of them could say something.

˚ 　 ⋆ ⁺ ₊ ✦ ⁺ ₊ 　 ˚ 　. ˚ . 　 ☁ . 　　. 　 ˚ 　⁺ ⁺ ✦ ₊　 　 ☁ ˚　 . ⁺ ₊ ✧ ˚　 . 　  ˚　 ⁺ ₊

˚ . ⤳ MOODBOARD ⊱⋆⊰ MASTERLIST ⊱⋆⊰ TO SAY SOMETHING ✦ Part one. Part two. Part three. ⊱⋆⊰ the scars in our hearts.

. ☁ ˚ ⤳ TAG LIST — @cd-4848, @chocolatestrawberrykryptonite, @escapereality4music, @fxckmiup, @gemz5, @jusnough, @m0nsterqzzz, @marvelwomenarehot0, @mrsrushman, @riyaexee, @takeyaki, @taliiiaasteria.

[blue-devil-of-the-lord]

Hey there!!

I saw where your Kurt requests were open! I was wondering if you'd write about the reader going through a bad break up and Kurt is there to comfort them? Just some sweet fluff and maybe even Kurt confessing to the reader that he's had a crush on them this whole time too but he was too scared to admit it to reader because reader was already in a relationship?

Thanks! Just going through a bad one myself and it'd be sweet to have some Kurt love ♥️

Cracks and Comfort

Kurt Wagner x gn!reader Words: 1.1K A/N: So sorry that this is happening to you! I've tried to write it as fast as possible in hopes it might help. Sorry if it's too short though

You knew that you would have to crawl out of bed at some point and face reality, but at the moment you were quite content to hide under your comforter and cry into your pillow. You didn't really care, you were too busy trying to banish all thoughts of them from your mind.

It hurt, it hurt so incredibly and you wondered why no one had warned you about the consequences a relationship could have. Yes, you had known that the end of a relationship could and would hurt, but you hadn't been prepared for the extent of the pain.

Another sob escaped you as you clutched your pillow tighter. You had loved them, more than anything else in your life, and suddenly, overnight, it was over. And while they happily went on with their life, yours lay in shambles at your feet as you desperately tried to keep your heart together.

How could it be that they hardly cared, while you felt like you were suffocating? A knock sounded at your door and you were about to turn the person away when their voice came through to you. "My dear? Can I come in?"

Kurt.

You didn't want to be seen like this, a wreck of yourself, but Kurt had seen you at some of the lowest points in your life and you longed for the comfort he offered. Still crying, you called him in and pulled back the covers so you could see him.

Kurt stepped in, closed the door behind him and within seconds was at your side, his arms around you. "Oh, my dear, you don't deserve this." It wasn't many words, but they were enough to make you burst into tears again. Kurt murmured softly and leaned back on your bed, pulling you with him until you were lying next to each other.

Your head was nestled on his chest, your head buried in his neck as your tears wet his skin. Kurt, in turn, had one arm wrapped around your shoulders and his other hand buried in your hair, where it was now gently stroking your head. His tail was wrapped tightly around your waist.

You didn't know how long you cried, but he didn't leave your side for a second, didn't move, but slowly stroked your head and murmured soothing words into your ear, which more or less achieved their goal. But even when your tears had dried up, you couldn't bring yourself to move, but continued to lie in his arms. Since he didn't complain, you made no effort to do so. "I'm sorry," you mumbled after a while, but he gently hushed you.

"Don't apologize, please. I'm your friend, it's my job to be there for you." His voice had an incredibly comforting effect on you and slowly you let your fingers dance across his chest. Your ear was directly over his heart and the regular thumping of it made you sleepy and at the same time calmed you down a little.

"It just hurts so incredibly," you murmured softly and for a brief moment his hand remained in your hair before it continued with its movements. "I loved them Kurt, I loved them so incredibly much. Why did they still leave me? Was I not enough? Did I do too little? Am I so incapable of being loved?"

Tears welled up in your eyes again, but as you tried to bury your face in his chest again, he sat up all at once, tail still wrapped around your waist so you couldn't fall far from his arms. He gently placed his hands on your cheeks so that you had to look at him.

"Don't you dare say something like that again." Your eyes widened when you saw the seriousness in his gaze as it traveled over your face. "Don't say something like that, please. You are enough, you are more than enough, Liebling, you are everything. There is nothing more precious and more important."

He pressed his forehead against yours and closed his eyes for a moment, almost in agony.

"And how can you think you're not lovable? Can't you see how much the students love you? Your colleagues? Your friends? Can't you see how much I love you?"

You felt like you couldn't breathe again, but this time for completely different reasons.

"Kurt-" He silenced you with a soft "Shhh" and smiled slightly at you, his eyes opening again. "Don't say anything, please. You're hurt, you need to heal. And I'll help you as much as I can. That's all that matters right now."

You said nothing, just looked at him, eyes wide, not knowing what you had done to deserve this gentle, loving man in your life. Kurt leaned forward and pressed a light, innocent kiss against your forehead.

"Come, my dear," he murmured and, still holding you in his arms, leaned back into the bed so that you were lying on top of him again. "Get some rest. I'll be here when you wake up."

Contrary to your expectations, it didn't take long before you were fast asleep on his chest.

Kurt looked at your sleeping form with a loving, albeit worried gaze and gently ran his finger over your tear-swollen cheek, careful not to wake you. God, he loved you so incredibly. You were the light of his life, every moment in your presence was like a blessing to him and if he had his way, he would never let you go again.

He had loved you for years, from afar, knowing full well that you could not and would not return these feelings. It had broken him that you had chosen them over him, but he had respected your decision because your happiness had been his sole goal. His expression twisted slightly as your heartbreaking sobs echoed in his mind. They had hurt you, broken your heart, and Kurt was boiling over with rage at the mere thought of them. How could they treat you like that? Could they not see your worth, your beauty, your fantastic personality? Obviously not, otherwise you wouldn't have cried in his arms.

The thoughts he had towards them were not good ones, sinful thoughts, but he didn't care.

He would condemn himself for you for all eternity as long as you stayed by his side and wrapped your arms around him afterwards.

His gaze slid over your face and hesitantly he pressed a delicate kiss to your forehead. "Don't worry, Liebling," he whispered, his tail carefully wrapping a little tighter around your waist. "I won't let them hurt you again."

He didn't expect you to love him, especially not now when you were so vulnerable. Nor would he expect anything else from you, except to continue being your friend. Of course he hoped, oh how much he did, but he would ask for nothing, expect nothing, except your friendship. He could never even think of hurting you by being intrusive. He could never even think of hurting you in general.

He loved you too much for that.

"I swear to you."