#and men of all demographics treat women like shit

[blackswallowtailbutterfly]

That documentary American Nightmare is crazy. Like imagine being the victims of something like that and everyone from the media to police to the FBI are like, damn, that is crazy. So crazy it didn't happen. You're lying, you killed her--oh...She turned up alive...Uh...She's lying. Wait, uh...oops. Never mind. This other cop who actually bothered to do her job and talked to all the women other cops ignored caught the guy. Um...anyway you're both alive and not in jail so we're just gonna pretend this never happened. I mean it's not like we could have known; there was a movie where the lady set everything up and was lying! How can you expect us to have actually investigated what was reported to us?

At least that one reporter had a conscience. And he actually did forward the emails he got to the police, so, y'know, he at least was doing his job. It's funny how when something like this happens, the people who did the least, all things considered, are the ones to step up and be like, yeah, I fucked up, and the ones who made blunder after blunder from sheer laziness and their own tunnel vision are just like no comment, that didn't happen, and our internal investigation found no wrong-doing on the part of us.

[doberbutts]

Okay. So. Longass post while I eat dinner and wait for my controller to charge and then I’m going back to my game.

The problem is it’s never actually been about the word itself.

We tried transandrophobia. Transmisandry. Isomisogyny. Transmascphobia. Anti-transmasculinity. People fought about literally all of them, saying they don’t exist, that they legitimize incel and terf language, that they’re some power grab, that they’re inherently transmisogynistic.

We tried transmisogyny and were told it was just for trans women and that we couldn’t use it.

We tried “transphobia specific to trans mascs”. We were told there is no such thing. That other demographics experience it and thus it’s actually theirs and not ours to discuss. We brought up trans mascs with genders marked M or X being denied abortions, pap smears, and other reproductive care. Trans mascs correctively raped by their significant others and spouses they were forced by their families to marry. Trans mascs who were targeted specifically because they were trans mascs, often buried as women under their dead names to be forever misgendered by history. We were told we were making it up and that we were weaponizing our womanhood by discussing these lived experiences.

We tried “just” misogyny. We were told that as men, we weren’t allowed to say that we experienced misogyny because trans men are men and men never experience misogyny and thus our very real experiences weren’t really ours and they weren’t that bad.

We tried “just” transphobia. We were told that as trans men, we don’t really experience transphobia because any transphobia we do experience is actually transphobia about trans women and thus our very real experiences weren’t really ours and they weren’t that bad.

You don’t have to take my word for it. You can go into the tags of any of those words and see exactly that being discussed in real time right now in 2023. I’ve even got screenshots from @baeddel-txt if you want to give yourself psychic damage by reading truly the worst takes ever from 2014 onwards.

At some point, one has to admit what it’s actually about is stopping trans mascs from discussing the way they’ve been treated by society, and stopping others from considering that maybe the way they’ve been treating us is a problem.

And make no mistake- while some of it is coming from trans fems and it’s impossible to say it’s not, just as there’s shit-flinging in reverse from trans mascs to trans fems as well, because for some reason we prefer to blame each other rather than working together to solve our problems as a collective- if you take a scroll through these tags a lot of it is coming from cis people and fellow trans mascs. A lot of it is coming from other LGBT or otherwise queer-identified people and a lot of it matches previous attempts at killing the ace, bi, and pansexual communities using the same arguments that the internet likes to cycle through every couple of years and has been doing since online communities began to exist.

So, I ask you, if you got through this and still want to write a witty retort, what have you done to help us fix the staggering amounts of suicide, sexual assault, and beatings we face? What have you done to help us fix the staggering amounts of us being denied necessary healthcare? What is your solution to all this, besides to sit at your computer or scroll through your phone and quibble about whether or not the specific word is allowed to be used this week?

[antiyourwokehomophobia2]

Man, this pisses me off so bad. If you're a woman who relates more to males than other women, it's because you've decided to focus more on how you're different from other women rather than how you're like them. You will literally never have more in common with males, and males do not feel the same way about you. These cute little posts that you write about how you love males more than your fellow women? They do not write the same thing about you. They hate and mock you constantly. Anyone remember "Cis women need to shut up"

"As a cis woman, I agree"

"You need to shut up, specifically"

?

Yea, that's how they feel about you and your solidarity.

The difference between lesbians and trans women in female spaces is the fact that lesbians do not have high rates of violence. There is no group of women that outclass men in terms of violent tendencies. Trans women retain the rates of male violence that regular men do. I'm not saying you have to treat trans women like they're all violent beasts, but if you can't see why female people would be uncomfortable with male people in their spaces, you're either naive or genuinely unsympathetic towards the very real fear that women have of being subjected to male violence. You can't say trans women and lesbians are similar because, unlike males, there is no statistical evidence that lesbians are highly likely to take advantage of a woman. If it turned out that 98% of rapes were committed by lesbians, I would 1000% understand why straight women don't fucking want to be around me. Have some fucking empathy, holy fucking shit. Even if you are completely on board with trans women being in female spaces, at LEAST acknowledge that it makes sense for women to be concerned about who is allowed in their spaces. It's crazy how I could tell someone I have a fear of dogs because one bit me when I was a kid, and they'd put their sweet pooch up, but God forbid a woman be cautious around a demographic who commit 90% of all violent crime. Oh no. That woman is suddenly a terf bitch.

I have nothing in common with trans women. I don't care how much pain they have experienced. We are not the same. When I was twelve, I cried and I cried as I put my palms together to pray to a God I hoped would be able to take away my homosexuality. I didn't even grow up in a particularly homophobic family. Both of my parents were accepting of me, but I still sat in the dark of my room, tears streaming down my face, as I prayed to have my sexuality changed.

Two years later, one of my friends made a joke about me dressing to impress my crush. She said my crushes name---a feminine name. A girl sitting in earshot heard her, turned to me, and asked me with disgust if I was gay. I said no without even thinking about it. It absolutely did not help that we were in a locker room with other girls. I was aware of my sexuality by that point, but I was 14 and unable to hold my own against a girl looking at me like THAT. For a few weeks after that, that girl made comments about how she was "watching me".

I know pain, I know discomfort, I know what it's like to feel predatory. Seeing feminine women, especially if they're white, makes me feel like an alien. I look at them and think "how are we so different? I see none of myself in you."

Sometimes I'm right. Sometimes we're not similar at all. But guess what? That doesn't mean I'm similar to a straight male. Fucking hell, sometimes I'm not similar to other lesbians. That's completely normal. I think OP needs to read better work by cishet women. If you think that there is not a single piece of cishet female writing that can move you more than something written by a male, you're not looking in the right places at all. I don't understand why some LB women seem to think that the very act of someone being a straight woman makes them incapable of relatability. Of course it makes sense for you to be cautious. Lesbians deal with a lot of alienation and predatory feelings, but if the very ACT of a woman being cis and straight makes you feel like she has absolutely nothing in common with you...? The issue lies with you. YOU are the one othering THEM. Not the other way around. You're the one who has decided that a few cis straight women othering you means that they ALL will so you'd better beat them to the punch. You're the one who has decided that your relationship to womanhood is so astronomically different from straight women that nothing they say speaks to you. That's INSANE. Do you realize how much you have to alienate yourself from womanhood to feel more relatability with a male person than a female one? Idk how to tell you this, but it is highly probable that the most cis, most het woman you have ever met has had a period. It's highly likely she's been harassed by a man. It's highly likely she's been made to feel inferior by way of being born female. No, they can't relate to the experience of being a lesbian who is made to feel predatory for no reason, but to say that nothing a cis het woman says/experiences can move you at all? Nothing they say can make you feel like your experience with womanhood and hers are similar? Do you realize how you sound? "Trans women have been harassed by men and made to feel inferior, too!!" Okay! So you should be able to relate to cis women in the way you do trans women, right?

I told my discord server that I was nervous about my future roommates. I showed them photos and someone said "all this tells me is that they're feminine and white" and I literally think about that all of the time. I was projecting. I was so scared that these white, feminine, probably straight women were going to judge me for being a black lesbian that I didn't even realize that I was the one violently judging them based off of nothing but their skin color and their femininity. I knew nothing about them. I STILL know nothing about them. I've barely spoken to them. But already I had labeled them as unrelatable judgemental women because of how they looked. Hold on. Wasn't I the one afraid of them judging ME? How could I be so afraid of them judging me for being a black lesbian when I was the one judging them already? What sense does that make?

You guys are so busy writing off cis straight women as unrelatable bigots that you've failed to see that you're the one who is extremely prejudiced against them. And I absolutely fucking know someone is gonna read this and say "well, you can't say that all trans women have male violence patterns and dahdahdahdah" and it's like. But YOU can say that cis straight women are so unbelievably different from lesbian women that you'd rather say you're more similar to a straight up fucking male???

I'm not saying it's not a little jarring to see women who are so different from me. I'm not saying I haven't been burned before and there's no reason for me (or other lesbians) to be cautious. But I will literally ALWAYS have more in common with cishet women than I ever will a man pretending to be a woman.

One time I had a professor. She was on the older side (I'd say 40's) and white. Not the type of person I'd think I'd click well with. She was straight and married with children. One day we talked after class, and the only thing that ended our conversation was the fact she had an event she had to go to. We would've talked longer if not for that. She emailed me a little while later to tell me that she enjoyed our chat. After that, she actually hugged me on two occasions. You wouldn't think we'd have common ground. An older, straight, married white mother and a young black lesbian. Both of us are "cis" but I can tell you I relate to her much better than I ever could someone born male.

I once had a personal trainer who was a feminine woman. She had acrylic nails and everything. One time she said that she couldn't hug her male friends anymore because she had a boyfriend (he wasn't the one enforcing that rule. That was something she personally felt). Also not someone I thought I'd click well with. But we did. One time we had a really productive discussion that was actually derived from the conversation with my professor. I felt very close to her in that moment. Our conversation came to a close because she had another client, but I still think about that convo.

There have been so many fucking times where I thought "this woman is not like me. Look at her." But what I realized was that I was the judgmental one. I was the one deciding we were different, not her. I was the one writing her off. I was the one convinced we had nothing in common.

I am BEGGING you not to alienate your fellow women. There are no inherent traits that make you unable to relate to other women. No amount of whiteness or cisness or straightness can make a woman completely unreachable. I am NOT talking about political parties or views so don't fucking try me with that shit. Obviously that puts a wedge between people, but someone simply being born cis and het does not make them alien from you. For God's sake, look at the fucking MeToo movement. Women from all fucking backgrounds who share an experience that an unfortunate amount of women go through. Women from all different races, sexualities, etc. who came together to talk about how they've been subjected to sexual violence. Ellen degeneres was one of them. How does that fit into your "lesbians and cishet women cannot relate to each other" spiel?

OP's post has 130k notes and it makes me fucking sick. Holy crap y'all, we need more solidarity than this. Other women are not your enemy. I'm begging you to reconsider your approach to women who are different than you. You are missing out on people who can love and support you in a way that literally no male can. You are depriving yourself. Just because a few cishet women in the past alienated you, does not mean that you have to continue their legacy. Let it go. Everyone on earth can see you embracing your hatred of women, and you wonder why your fellow women never hug you? They fucking can't! Put your hatred down and make space for the love that comes with realizing that you absolutely are like other girls!

[blackpilljesus]

Not everything needs to be announced, do not put a target on your back.

With the rise in popularity of things like 6b4t, 4b, decenter men, etc I'm seeing a lot of women bragging to maIes about it which will not help us. At the end of the day maIes do not care about our happiness, look at how they get off on womens abuse, they constantly seek to break women down at every twist and turn, they dont actually give a fuck about whether single childfree women are the happiest demographic out there. Maturing as a single childfree woman is realising that it's not just about hating maIes but being indifferent to them, not caring about their opinions at all. Only recognise them for the threat & parasites they are. I dont care to prove maIes wrong. This doesn't mean I ignore or hold positive sentiments to them, I just focus on centering myself and womankind in my life instead. I often see women bring up points about single childfree women & our happiness to maIes when maIes already know that.

Let's assume that maIes dont know that women are happier when we're single, why does it matter that they know just how much happier women are when they're single? Given the way maIes have treated women, do you really think maIes give a fuck about women being happy? Do you really think that if maIes didnt know how single childfree women felt before & when they find out how happy single childfree women are they'd be pleased about it? Or that they'd care?

For every single childfree woman is a maIe without a rape maid, a maIe without someone to pummel their legacy through, etc yk how it goes. MaIes are already feeling the effects of our freedom & they're starting to retaliate. In south korea female only parking spaces were replaced with family spaces, in the USA there's project2025 & how they want to coerce women back into the nuclear family unit, in the UK many sexual offenders are being released from prisons due to "overcrowding".

Back to my point on indifference, part of that is realising that all of this shit goes beyond witty one liners on the internet. MaIes are fully aware of everything they do and how they benefit from it. To the women who brag to maIes about 4B et al, what is the end goal here? Is it truly decentering maIes as claimed or is it some type of strategy to spook maIes into being good boys? Because I've seen women try to be threatening with it like "maIes need to get their act together or we they wont be chosen/we'll 4B!" and this is still maIe centric in a way. Sounds harsh but many womens tiktoks, tweets, of this nature tend to have maIe partners or are still looking anyways so it only makes things harder for those actually serious about this. I feel like many women believe at some point maIes would grovel back to them & 'apologise' for their actions and start being better like no; maIes have intentionally done everything through force & violence including wanting a partner & children. MaIes arent going to change nor will ever change on their own. MaIes dont just want parters or children, they want this at the expense of womens lives; our goals, our dreams, and our humanity so they sure as shit dont care about our happiness.

There is thing as centering maIes even in a negative way, I saw it described as "chaotic misandrist" on the pinkpill site. Many women talk about how they want nothing to do with maIes but then make it their entire personality. Many women on tiktok are using 4B as some titillating leverage over maIes or as some divine femininity woo woo femme fatale shit. All of that still centers maIes. What needs to be realised is that it's not all about maIes. I dont solely do this as a "fuck you" to maIes, will it be? Yes. But that is not my primary reason for not dating or reproducing. Dont make this a thing where you solely want to get back at maIes. MaIes dont negotiate so attempting to barter is a waste of time and tiptoes on maIe apologism because even if maIes apologised for all the things they've done I would still not forgive them. I would still want the worst for them. Ik in that situation most women would forgive them without a second thought.

Women saying "act right or else 4B" are saying this because they still want to make it work with maIes. If there's negotiation it means a connection still wants to be formed which misses the entire fucking point. It aint about maIes it's about yourself and womankind. This is why it's hard for me to trust other women because it wont take much for them to cave as has been throughout history. I dont care what moids think about all this, as I said my primary concern regarding maIes is the threat they pose. I dont care whether they'd ever change. Anyone serious about this wouldn't be dangling the prospects of not partnering with them in maIes faces especially bc part of what leads to this is realising that maIes are dangerous & there's no reforming them. Dangling this in their face is poking the bear and maIes have no limits as to how low they'll stoop to get what they want. They'd kill themselves to prove a point.

So for the love of goddess, stop bragging to maIes about this. Doesnt matter if they say you'll be a miserable cat lady like bet. Deep down we all know they need us more than we need them. This isn't to say to hide & be ashamed of it, but it wont do women favours exposing our play to our predators.

[velvetvexations]

Okay offering a bit of an alternative perspective, let me establish rn im not a fan of tme/tma either 👍

So i think it gets lost on people that tme/tma was coined SPECIFICALLY to describe intracommunity dynamics, like cis people were simply. Not factored into the coining of the terms, or the topics it was intended to discuss.

Honestly, i think the idea that transfeminine people being oft excluded from integrated community with transmasc individuals is grounded in reality, but it absolutely requires intersectionality for it to be legitimized and elaborated on in a meaningful way. Which, well, transradfems dont like intersectionality very much at all.

And speaking as a nonwhite perisex afab person. The trans women and fems who get excluded from trans men and masc circles are excluded for the same reasons poc trans men/mascs are excluded from those spaces. And you know the people i see doing much of the excluding, whether they declare themselves allies to transfems or not, are middle to upper class white transmascs. Speaking from personal experience, there does seem to be a demographic implicitly ignorant of the transfems they are in community with, and a lot of it stems from what i observe as a sort of inability or unwillingness to reject the politics of the communities they were raised in (lots of liberalism and cultural feminism). They sort of unconsciously reinforce socialization segregated by gender.

It’s a reproduction of a general pattern of thinking you see with cis gay people, who also tend to be white: i cant be that bigoted because im x. Obviously, this is also an issue with white transfems, but not in the same ways as they are with transmascs, and i think anyone who sweeps this issue under the rug are being dishonest with themselves. But my point stands that, within the demographic, certain groups of transmascs can be afforded a specific form of privilege, not because they *are* transmasc, but because theyre *not transfem*. Because at its core, that is privilege— not being subject to certain types of treatment, or being less prone to certain conditions, on the basis of not possessing socially marked traits you dont have control over.

Transradfem discourse fails in that it cant decide whether it truly wants to be about intracommunity discussion or not. Whether it treats transmisogyny as a grand or local narrative depends entirely on what’s convenient to argue a specific point. The only thing consistent about their worldview is that transfems are at the bottom, dehumanized, abused, and cast aside always, with no room for any nuance, because to acknowledge situations in which such totalizing logic fails can only ever be an invalidation of their trauma.

And perhaps the most important thing that should be kept in mind when talking about these things is that other trans people are hardly ever the enemy. Trans people with differing viewpoints on intracommunity relations are not the same as sellouts like blaire white or brianna wu who do the “fuck you got mine” shit. This goes for the transradfems who constantly talk down to “transandrobros”, but it also applies to some of us in that we cant let a vocal minority sway our perceptions of the majority. Most transfems dont give two craps about this.

I do not view "not being a transfem" as a privilege for other trans people, regardless of any nuance or moderation one may take that view with. You may not be subject to some extremely specific behaviors, but to call it "privilege" when one faces oppression on that same axis is highly misleading at best. Exclusion of transfems by transmascs is not worse or more pervasive of an issue than the reverse.

I'm also not a fan of how often intercommunity discourse gets boiled down to The Whites Are At It Again, especially because transradfems are often saying that about transandrophobia believers. Plenty of white transmascs are also excluded simply for their masculinity and to say all (including presumably white) transfems are treated like PoC trans men is, I feel, very dismissive and inaccurate.

[olderthannetfic]

https://www.tumblr.com/olderthannetfic/748698755825582080/since-weve-been-on-the-same-topic-for-quite-some?source=share

From my experience, it's both the projection stuff + cis writers responding to what's popular in fandom, but I also think some of it is because when trans fic started getting really popular, you had a lot of trans BNFs in various fandoms who insisted that writing these characters a particular way was THE right way to do it or you're offending them personally. I think that tends to be disproportionately likely with people who prefer pre-op or non-op vs. prefer post-op or don't care, both because if you care more you're angrier about it, but also people in the first category are more likely to be newly out (and thus in that obsession with their identity stage that plagues every LGBTQ+ person when we first come out) and younger and more online. So they're more likely to fit into the demographic of "people who obsess over what fic other people are writing" or "antis" in general.

I remember in Yuri on Ice fandom circa 2017-18, there was this one newly out pre-op trans guy who projected hard on to Yuuri and therefore insisted that any fic with cis Yuuri was hurting him personally. But it went beyond that.... Yuuri also had to be a bottom, because he was a bottom, and also this guy seemed to think that having a vagina meant you were automatically a bottom if your partner had a dick? Which made the whole thing kind of funny in a way... imagine declaring yourself the spokesperson for all trans men in your fandom (which he clearly did see himself as that, he clearly saw what he was saying as the One Right Way To Do Transmasc Rep) and yet being seemingly unaware that strap-ons are like, a thing that exists in the world, lol. That pegging exists. (Or at least, it would've been funny if he wasn't an obnoxious anti who harassed people, and had this parasocial fixation on someone who wrote a lot of bottom Yuuri and age-reversal Victuuri which he decided was the absolute worst thing for some reason.)

So just from that, I do have to wonder if some of these patterns in writing trans fic are just more popular vs. they're baked into fandom because some obnoxious individuals in a variety of fandoms (because he definitely wasn't the only person and YOI wasn't the only fandom where I saw that shit, though he was the worst) at a particular time were insisting that was the one right way to do things.

I was able to resist what he was saying even though I'm cis, just because I've had enough trans guy friends IRL to know that what he was describing as the One Right Way to Write Trans Sex is suuuuuper dysphoria inducing for a lot of trans men. Like, a lot of people who write M/M trans fanfic would be floored at how many pre-op trans men find that PIV is just completely off-the-table for them. They don't want to be penetrated at all, at least in the vagina. So much trans fic treats PIV as the gold standard. Like, it's weird to think gay trans men wouldn't be into butt stuff as much as cis gay men are? Am I the only person who thinks it's kinda weird how often that's assumed?

I have no idea what the state is like for trans women in F/F - even though I read a lot of F/F, there seems to be way less trans fic for whatever reason, even the stuff written by trans women IME seems to prefer to focus on cis women or at least women who both have vaginas - but while I've known fewer of them than trans men who just really don't want to use their vaginas during sex, a fair number of trans women just really don't want to use their penises during it either. Like, people, there's a reason that "bottom surgery" exists.

--

[theraddestfemalive]

Y’know what? Fuck it. I’m going to say this

I don’t think any non-gc or tra lib gives a fuck about what im about to say, even considering that im going to tag the cr fandom.

I’m only adding one radfem tag because this post is centered around another topic.

i feel like ever since the trans population has tripled, it hasn’t been the same. Before any of you cucks think im talking about the idea of being trans, im also talking about the community behind it. Their ideas within the concept of it.

the concept of being ‘transgender’ was built on the foundation of sexist stereotypes; although the origins had a different purpose in ancient societies (varying ofcourse), it was ultimately used as a weapon to oppress women in the modern times, the goal was to make a person ‘feel’ like a male or female and now trillions of micro labels and gender identities are used to describe people who feel slightly above the normal and they’re treated as if they’re some kind of clothes that you put on instead of an identity.

Because of this, most people don’t even know what a woman or a lesbian is. They try to replace the definition of something that was exclusive to one sex to cater to the whims of men.

Ever since last year, most my friends that weren’t into that shit now identify as trans and I saw a dramatic shift in their personality. Most if not all of them were autistic women that did not conform of societal standards of what a ‘woman’ is. Some people may argue it’s because of how lightly a transgender identity is perceived. But on my end, I think it also has to do with the lack of representation of quirky female characters in media.

likely I would’ve fit into one of those micro labels or some shit like that but I was lucky enough to discover characters and things that I aligned with so I didn’t have to deal with shitty gender dysphoria (alongside with my very obvious mental issues and me being neurodivergent myself)

When I look at the older cookie run art (2016-2021), or even from eastern countries (eastern countries aren’t really politically correct) I could truly see the characters in the scene. There is passion behind it. The artists are either older or they know what they’re doing. And it doesn’t seem like an overload

when I see newer cookie run ‘fanart’ esp when there’s a lot of people within the western community, I don’t see a lot of what the characters truly are. All I see is their interpretation of what their character would look like if it was an unoriginal copy of a 14 year old gendie’s oc. Alongside with that, they add a thousand headcanons and sexualities, making the character unrecognizable. And if that wasn’t the cherry on top, they’re so obsessed with lgbtq and race stuff (no im not a bigot, don’t even try to fucking label me as one im a bisexual woc ) that’s all what they talk about besides stupid discourse topics. Oh, and also changing a dough color is ‘racist’ (they’re fucking COOKIES. Their dough color was based off of their ingredients and complimentary colors, even the devs had to explain and yet the western community still bitches about it like whiny 5 year olds. They come in all colors, not just fucking skintones.)

I think the characters and ships of the community would be much more likable for me if it wasn’t infiltrated by the discourse gang.

I think instead of giving drugs and cosmetic surgery to children, we should get deeper into the psychology of why there’s a lot of trans people on the rise. Don’t you think it’s weird that it has to be an ‘urgency’ to get surgery or children will kts? Maybe instead of thinking it as a life or death situation, think of how most of these people are mentally ill compared to the other lgbtq demographics.

I probably sound like a fucking dick here and im going to get a lot of hateful notes and messages, but honestly.. idgaf

Before you water this down to ‘trans people bad’ im just highlighting the problems of their community and its immense effect on teens my age (13-15 age range im not telling you) before dickriding the movement, I think *again* we should get deeper into the psychology of these people, thank you for reading.

maybe one or two people know who i am because of the image i will show below, who cares lol

i will block if I receive any threats :)))

[void-thegod]

Trans Men are Men: Experience Is & Isn't Unique

I am a trans man. I am a trans man of color. I am autistic and have cptsd. I am of mixed race and am brown. I am conventionally attractive and above average intelligence. I am very cringe.

I am a trans man that is binary. I am a trans man that is queer. I am a trans man that is demisexual. I am a trans man that is generally attracted to women. I am a trans man that has been attracted to many other people before.

I am a man.

I am a trans man that "always knew".

My experiences as a trans man are unique to me. My experiences as a trans man may not be entirely unique to me. My experiences as a trans man are not entirely unique to trans men.

My experience as a trans man cannot be separated from my transness or being a man.

Many cisgender men, nonbinary folk, intersex people, trans women, and cisgender women have had experiences similar to mine.

They have had experiences similar, period.

My experiences as a trans man do not exist in a vacuum.

I am a trans man and I am human. (barring any weird conspiracy theories, which I love)

Right now I am stating a bunch of obvious things. Trying to give anyone reading a feel for the nuance of all this...

Because it is necessary for people to understand: all of these experiences are human experiences. And they are also tied to our unique features.

So: if someone -- anyone -- says they've experienced a thing?

Be quiet. Let them speak.

Assuming someone is a predator, full of shit, or otherwise out to mar the reputation of their own demographic? That's pretty fucked up.

I'm writing all of this because ... I am bothered.

I am bothered by what I am experiencing. What I have seen. What seems to be a pattern in how trans men are treated. When they are treated one way or another. Why they are silenced sometimes and not others. Etc

And I want to write about it from my perspective.

If you don't like that, block me.

[papirouge]

How can you stand going into nazi discussions and reading all the crap they're writing? I hate them so much lol

I don't understand women who entertain those kind of men, I know some of them are men pretending to be women but some of them are the real deal... like they'll never respect and accept them as one of them except to be a white babies factory, yet these womens racism is bigger than their self respect and self esteem.

But what I understand even less is non-whites entertaining neo nazi ideology. I'm aware that just like with women some are just white people pretending to be PoCs, but I've known actual poc thta agree with nazism and some even post pics of themselves. It's so ugly lol but I've noticed that they always seem to be non-black PoC or if black they're light skin, they just seem to have the mentality of "at least i'm not a n*gger 🤪" thus why they think they can mingle with the whiteys and be accepted by them. Like many of them are usually pale-skinned latinos or east asians from what I've noticed. And neo nazis sometimes entertain them because they realize they're good for creating division between non-whites but they never really accept them as one of them - they're just their fighting dogs. These idiots need to realize many nazis and white supremacists barely accept white people with black hair and brown eyes as their own (sometimes they'll accept them but consider them less pure and beautiful than their blue/green eyes blond haired counterparts). That's why you'll see blond, blue-eyed neo nazi men constantly dunk on white women and brown-eyed dark haired people - even though they could be his allies he still needs to feel superior to them because he probably has nothing going for him except for his race and sex (which he has convinced himself makes him superior). He doesn't have to work for it or earn it he simply is born superior and everyone else should understand that too and treat him as such. When you think about it, it's really pathetic and stupid.

Last thing is I'll always laugh at neo nazis talking about black or brown people marrying white to "bleach/lighten their genes". Not because it's not true; many brown and black people do wish they could have light skin or white kids, hopefully with light eyes and hair too (mentol illness), but because dark skin, dark hair and brown eyes are DOMINANT genes!!! So are "black features". This is why they'll never make me feel bad about my features, God made them dominant and theirs recessive lol perhaps for a reason (this is why christians white supremacists are even more stupid to me).

I think women drawn to Nazi/misogynist see in it a form a "strong masculinity" they don't find in more liberal men. They're too dumb to realize those moids only talk smack from their socials but will shit themselves if confronted IRL with any of the demographics they shit on the regular. I mean, for so called strong men they, White nationalists are actually pretty meek when it come to display outward sign of their opinion in the real world. That's why they only do so in rallies. Standing alone they are scaredy cats that will play victim #antiwhitegenocide. You can bet that the person who made the tweet saying she went out of her way to say she was racist to that foreign bus driver whose only crime was being friendly, that if the bus driver would've reacted aggressively she would act like she was the victim. Because nazi & racists love playing the victim card whenever they initiate antagonization.¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

And yeah you're totally right about racist/Nazi non White rallying around the "at least I'm not Black" thing. It's very true for Hispanics (like Stonetoss) or Indians. No one tells them white Nazi will always consider them like inferior pawns they'll toss away the moment they're not useful. Same goes for women they'll shit on they do a step aside. Lauren Southern and Candace Owens are case study. I think dunking on other race help them cope with their otherwise shitty life : they're unemployed, broke, lonely...but at least they're not Black 🤪

And what's so funny with the so called superior aryan race is how hellbent they are to show they're superior. When you're truly secure in your superiority, you don't waste time trying to prove it. Lions don't run with dogs. I mean, I always found crazy they so much into the bio essentialist bs about IQ but yet oblivious to the fact that their own gene are recessive. Shouldn't nature favor high IQ Aryan gene instead? 🤔 Like- it never clicked to me how they flip flop around biological essentialism lol

[teaveetamer]

Considering Bernedetta is still up there while Alcryst isn't the top 5 of Engage characters but Diamant is, you can infer Bernie fans and Alcryst fans aren't merging. Ironically Leo and Takumi being in the top 20 could mean you're correct and fans of Takumi and Leo intersect with Alcryst thus he's not getting as many votes because Leo and Takumi are getting them. Look as a Fates fan I really don't get the Bernie love because Fates is a bunch of anime tropes but she's fine just rubs me the wrong way, but she has a hardcore base I suppose

Leo and Takumi have always maintained a top 20 position/top 5-10ish Fates characters so I can't say conclusively if there's any sort of real vote siphon going on. If anything, Alcryst is probably siphoning their votes because people probably figure he has the best shot to win this year.

Also keep in mind, the top 5 is not divided by gender. There are three women taking up three of the spots (Ivy, Yunaka, and F!Alear) so for all we know Alcryst could be the #3 Engage male character behind M!Alear and Diamant. The top five rankings are neat but I wouldn't take them too seriously.

But yeah I'll be completely honest: everyone who was predicting Alcryst would siphon votes from Bernie clearly do not understand the demographics of FEH/the primary target demographic of Bernadetta. And I don't mean this to be demeaning, but Bernie-as-a-character is written in a way that indulges in a fantasy primarily held by straight men. She's the "broken girl who only trusts you and needs you to protect her". That's why her Byleth supports go all in on "omg I'm usually such a mess but I feel safe with basically zero effort around you professor because you're special!" Alcryst, I would guess, was not written with that demographic in mind. He definitely has his appeals to his specific demographics, but I highly doubt there's a lot of overlap between who he was designed to appeal to and who Bernie was designed to appeal to.

Even if they were a 1:1 comparison just with the gender flipped, that doesn't mean they're going to appeal to the same people. The way they're perceived is going to be affected by their genders. For example, a lot of straight men probably find Alcryst whiny or feel like he needs to "man up". If we went back in time about 10-15 years I'm sure they'd even have some choice slurs for gay men to call him. That's no doubt because in our society we view men who are shy, overly apologetic, jumpy, lacking confidence or self-esteem, etc. as weak and shameful. Whereas with women, lacking confidence and self-esteem is not only expected but often desirable. So you can wind up with two characters who are exactly the same but one will be perceived differently based on gender norms and socialization.

Something similar happened with Corrin back in the day. While both Corrins got flack, M!Corrin, particularly M!Corrin in Conquest, got hit particularly hard with criticism complaining about how he was whiny, he was weak, he was stupid, he was overdramatic, etc. while F!Corrin (who Conquest was likely natively written around) slid under the radar more.

Honestly you could do a whole essay on Conquest v. Birthright, the way they were written/localized with a particular Corrin in mind, and what that says about how society treats gender (particularly how F!BR!Corrin doesn't get shit for taking on more """masc""" traits of being headstrong and violent, but M!CQ!Corrin gets shit for taking on the more """femme""" traits of CQ, such as making an "emotional" decision to side with Nohr, being all about pacifism and cooperation, and openly expressing strong emotions of sadness and regret). But idk if I wanna be the one to write it.

[sorcerous-caress]

You're right and I know you are but I actually got so upset that I am now violently sick. I am literally only sharing this because I am fairly certain you're also autistic and BPD but I hate so much that like the one time in mainstream media we are given a bi/pan man who is effeminate and prefers men but isn't a derogatory stereotype but every post about him is like He’s The Most Masculine, Actually and actually the reason we don't see him express attraction to women is because he's so shy actually ignore that he can hookup with Laezel who would not stand for that and is main character trait is confident (and I don't think I've started fights so at least there's that)

I used to not understand the problem with the Astarion fandom but then I came to painful realization he has straight fans who actually seem to hate his canon character

Anyway sorry for all the Bobstarion… gay bpd bitches are gay bpd bitching. You're the best for reading this tho 😭💀💚

I know this feeling very well anon.

You've completely summed it up, he is finally a non-derogatory representation of an effeminate queer man and straight fans burnt his canon to the ground so they can make their dream masculine babyboy shy twink.

God it fucking stings doesn't it? It literally hurts just to think about how much Larian risked by even putting Astarion in the game. A western game at that too where forum after forum are full of incels complaining about women not being inflatable sex objects in their game.

Baldur's gate 2 and 1 never was this inclusive, it was strictly hetro except for the remastered npcs. Astarion by himself probably made them lose half their "old-school" homophonic demographic.

And the fandom takes all of that and makes him another fucking joke of a character? All the people who have never played the game would search up the Astarion tag and get a completely wrong impression of him.

Not once did a character before him made me leave a game because I was disgusted with myself. His storyline and writing is phenomenal because I too objectified him at the start then the game called me out for it in act 3 and it changed my world view so much.

God did you know early access had Gale and Wyll be awkward if a male Tav hits on them? That only Astarion was the always accepting person regardless of gender?

Even now he is still the only male character between the two who openly expresses his interest in men! Who embraces being flamboyant and doesn't try to fit into a narrative.

I completely understand anon, and I know how much bpd and autism highlights these feelings and make them dig like nails at your brain. Yes I have them too. And I'm glad you feel comfortable enough to share your thoughts with me.

It must be more frustrating for you tho, for liking Astarion and being lumped in with the rest of his weird fans without your consent. You can't even filter their posts out because they treat their takes as "normal" and how it's not them belittling a queer character no! They're just being "wholesome"

Fuck the batstarion shit still gets on my nerves. I saw one with a baby bottle feeding him??? It just feels so infantilising because he isn't some cute animal he is a fully grown and matured person. If it's just a kink then sure idc but please tag it at least.

Then they make him "shy" around women. You know why that god awful take was probably born? Because most of his straight fans picked women and went into his romance. So they think that his clumsy personality in act 2 is because they're a woman and he is so used to men.

It's fucking disgusting, Astarion would treat both men and women with the same clumsy romance, all my Tavs were nonbinary and he never treated them differently.

You have every right to feel this way, you have every right to be furious at this. Especially with a character you care about so much.

But people will take advantage of that, people who want to start fights for the sake of fights or drama blogs who are itching to make a callout post. People don't like others poking holes in their logic no matter how good your intentions are.

Homophobia exists, racism too, look at how ignored Wyll is by these supposed fans. Look at how popular Gale x Astarion is than x Wyll because both of them are white.

It's okay to vent and it's okay to feel frustrated and stuck. God knows during some bpd episodes I come very close to deleting this blog bc of the smallest of reasons, so Imagine actually having a valid reason to be mad like you.

Take a step back, fuck those people honestly. Fuck anyone who ever did this shit just for their own self indulgence, who left all the media that panders to straight people and came and took Astarion too just to strip him of all of his traits and put him in the hetro box.

So leave them be, they suck, they're shitty and never willing to listen. Don't waste your frustration on them, it's better to yell at a wall, at least, unlike them, it might reply back with something productive one of those days.

Again, I hope you feel better soon. I genuinely do, these feelings suck beyond words can describe. Do something you like or revisit your favourite works that stay true to Asterion's character. Ground yourself with anything that might help.

Don't feed them or reply to their arguments, please. hopefully, they leave the fandom once the new manufactured tumblr sexyman is released and the Asterion tag.

[jakowskis]

@buffetpallascat doing a good ol' days reply because i had enough thoughts on this to warrant some meta, in my typical rambling fashion. hope you don't regret engaging by the time im done dfhkdsf

for starters, you're very welcome, i'm glad you enjoy the post :D

as for your question - i meant moreso that it was typical of the fandom, although it was also very much influenced by societal trends of the time, too. fandom's always had a rocky history with women, especially women who supposedly 'get in the way of "slash" couples', but the way fandom misogyny is performed has changed; i see more willful erasure of female characters these days than flat out blatant misogyny. in tw fan content from the 00s, i've seen gwen hatefully AND casually called some pretty horrible things that i rarely see fictional or real women called nowadays, simply because standards have changed. hell, one of the comms i linked, the twgenre finders one, there was several entries requesting fic where gwen experiences, like, bodily harm? not in a whump-y way, they actually wanted to recreationally read fic about her getting physically injured and suffering, out of some bizarre sense of malice towards her. simply because she 'gets in the way of janto'. and i can't even fathom that existing nowadays. pretty much everyone outside of weird little 12 year olds knows that's not acceptable. not to mention it's just weird.

interestingly i've also noticed a lottttt of change in how the fandom... reacted to and treated janto as a couple back in the day, versus now. people in 2006 were not normal about gay people. we know fandom's history with fetishizing gay men, and it was even worse in 2006 with an exceptionally rare canon gay couple being received by a jarringly hetero-but-'slash'-obsessed fanbase.

i mean, i don't wanna generalize. i saw a poll recently about how fandom is not mainly composed of straight women, contrary to popular belief, at least anymore, and i guess the question is, was it ever? i have seen a lot of the people involved in fandom in the 00s identify themselves as straight, but was that partially because of the culture of that era? have any of those people since come out as some type of queer? maybe, for some of them, that was them exploring their queerness in a safe environment, when the culture around being gay in real life was a lot different.... the same way modern fandom culture continues to be for those of us who aren't in accepting homes. if they were 20smth year olds in the 2010s/2020s, rather than the 2000s, would they still identify as straight?

not sure. but i've made a habit of going on the profiles of old lj accounts, and i'll sometimes wind up going through the journals and the personal posts of authors i respect, etc etc. a significant amount of mid 00s fic writers were straight women in their 30s - 40s, many married, some with kids. very different demographic to modern fandom. very different climate they lived in vs the one we're in.

(although, bonus note, i also once found a thread of bisexuals in 2006 praising torchwood's depiction of bisexuality, and that made me exceptionally happy. but also maybe a little sad, because torchwood's my personal fav bi rep, too, in 2023, and the fact that we've had nothing better in seventeen years is a bit of a bummer. but i digress.)

anyway, this is all to say, i've seen some insanely fetishy shit about jack and ianto that rubbed me exceptionally wrong. that gross dehumanizing, severely homophobic place where it's like... ahh, ok, so you don't see them as people, you see them as sexy dolls you can mash together. but, ofc, that's how i view it as a bisexual person in 2023 who's been on tumblr far too long. they didn't see any problem with it. they might've even seen it as progressive. how can you be homophobic when you're obsessed with the little gay people on ur screen? but it's the opposite end of the 'homophobes reducing gay ppl down to what they do in their beds' trope, and it comes across as dated and icky now.

i mean, i consume a lot of older media, i know how to turn off my 21st century sensibilities and remind myself things used to be different, but it's honestly an impressive difference. there's some fantastic fics from that era of the fandom, in fact most of my favorite fics are from that era, but i often get quite a bit of culture shock reading things. particularly, i'm always impressed by people in the 2000s, an extremely biphobic era, applying their impressive period-typical 'bisexuals aren't real' beliefs to The Bisexual Show. torchwood's rep's not perfect (again, a product of its era), but i've seen a fantastic amount of gay!ianto and straight!owen, because bisexual men don't exist, obviously, and jack's not bisexual, he's the amazing slutty space man, except he's mostly gay because all that matters is janto. and i don't even really see explorations of gwen or tosh's bisexuality at all, because, again, women who?

i found a comm a while back, i didn't include it on my list because it wasn't torchwood-exclusive and didn't have much content in the tw tag, but it was a lgbtfest, and contained fics about the team and their relationships with their bisexuality, and it was really intriguing to me to see queerness as understood by regular people in 2007/2008, y'know, not by gay writers or activists or films. i have no way of knowing if any of them were speaking from any personal place, but it was just interesting, because none of the fics i read in that comm had that same brand of tone-deaf sex-focused homophobia to them, they were progressive for the time, but it was still apparent to me that they were written by people with a mid to late 00s understanding of being gay, and i do think it's interesting, that substantial difference.

got a bit off topic, but now that i mentioned the initial fandom being overwhelmingly composed of women, i can also add that i think internalized misogyny factored hugely into the fandom's disdain for gwen. the 'strong female' trope doesn't just annoy straight men, it also annoys a lot of women (though not consciously) - not because they're opposed to well-written women, but because society tells us certain things that'd be admirable and complex and sympathetic out of a male hero are unacceptable out of a female one. it's the double standard. jack does some awful shit, but i rarely see him criticized. i've straight up seen fans go "jack's kind of a bastard, but it's ok because he's hot", which is fine in jest, i've joked about shit like that with characters, but it's not so cute when those same people turn around and condemn gwen for her actions. hell, or owen. i've literally seen someone say they'd like owen more if he was more conventionally attractive. like, ok, you're clearly just here for the janto eye candy. you haven't brought any substantial critical thinking skills. pls take ur shallow ass and leave. but back to gwen - she was held to a standard none of the other characters are held to. they picked on her for the stupidest shit. and her worse sin, the infidelity, it's bad, sure, but i've seen countless male characters who cheat on their partners who are beloved by their fandoms. it's just fucking gross. i fucking hate hypocrites.

dude, yknow what?? i've even seen fucking tosh bashing. WHO THE FUCK HATES TOSH????

ok im done. sorry for my babbling. but yeah, i think it's a fascinating thing. i love how humans change and develop with the times and how we can map the changes and how they affect media, and it's fun to observe in fandom because it's there, too, but no one's looking so i get to feel like a little scientist fdskjfds. ok i will cease with the excessive babbling now

[devisrina]

I kind of love coming on here and reacting to sydcarmy this season, it’s so refreshing. I was on Reddit during last season and it was so gross how they treated Sydney and I know it’s only bc the main demographic on Reddit are white men who have a clear view of what character should behave a certain way. Like Sydney couldn’t act or do certain things or else she would be crucified unlike her male counterparts. We know her being a black woman is a large reason why most can’t see her being with a white man but are okay when it’s another black person. It’s also why they were far quicker to warm up to the potential of carmy getting a love interest that resembled him culturally. But have the audacity to call us delusional bc there are very clear signs that say and carmy are soulmates, in every sense of the word.

Thank you for being one of the many sydcarmy acc that make it fun to be on this app!

I kind of love coming on here and reacting to sydcarmy this season// Yes! All the Sydcarmy blogs have the best analysis/opinion pieces on them and I enjoy reading and interacting with them. They are also really welcoming and intelligent beings.

I was on Reddit during last season and it was so gross how they treated Sydney and I know it’s only bc the main demographic on Reddit are white men who have a clear view of what character should behave a certain way.// They never have proper arguments about her without being completely wrong. Then, they accuse us of thinking everyone is racist for disliking her, and then they bring up the other cast members with diverse backgrounds to make their opinion on Sydney seem less out of racial bias. This show does a decent job of presenting people of colour in a nice light, but the main character is a white man, his "cousin" is a white man. And most of those people on Reddit blatantly favouritism Richie. And it's so stupid having to hear the same stupid argument "Am I the only one who thinks Carmen shouldn't have apologised-" Like no, there are a bunch of you assholes on here that think that. But Carmy was at the bigger fault, and the thing is she probably would've apologised, but she couldn't even get a word out without him telling her to shut the fuck up. He got mad under pressure, and he never gave her a chance to right her wrong. I get why Carmy was stressed, but he didn't regulate his behaviour well enough and that demonstrates poor leadership. And he rightfully realised this and apologised.

Sydney couldn’t act or do certain things or else she would be crucified, unlike her male counterparts.// For real. Like, they always crap on her for stabbing Richie, but it was clearly an accident. He backed into it. Yes, she held the knife wrong, but he was pissing her off the entire day out of spite. He had the audacity to ask her if she was blowing someone at the telegraph, and this wasn't the only time he made distasteful comments towards her. And Richie already knew he deserved to be stabbed, so why do people try to keep defending him for something even though he admitted that he deserved it? I'm glad he got development though. She put up with his shit for too long, she put up with everyone's shit for too long. Carmy fucking left her to run a brigade on her own with her coworkers which she barely got in tune with. And Carmy did not defend her in front of them whatsoever. And it was wrong of her to give in her risotto to that customer without talking to Carmy first, and she did mess up the to-go system, and she should learn to be more patient in the future. But that's the thing, she learns from her mistakes and she is seen to be more patient and technical with her work now.

We know her being a black woman is a large reason why most can’t see her being with a white man but are okay when it’s another black person.// This is so annoying, but also so realistic to how people react to white men displaying any sort of romantic attraction to women of colour. They get so surprised that you're not just sidelined by an attractive white guy and that they see you as attractive. There are relationships between people of the same race. Who cares if Sydcarmy gets together? Also, I feel like they would be one of the best-written interracial couples if they were to become canon. Also, I don't feel that Marcus understands Syd in the way that Carmy does/tries to. Marcus is caring and such a sweetheart, who I hope finds someone someday. But I feel that Sydcarmy would be so good together after they both work through things.

It’s also why they were far quicker to warm up to the potential of Carmy getting a love interest that resembled him culturally.// I feel like we all tried to like Claire, but it just wasn't working for us. She's just not that great to watch and it wasn't all that surprising that the incels on Reddit would like her because she was written to purely care about Carmy. She is fine and I don't mind her so much anymore.

But have the audacity to call us delusional bc there are very clear signs that Syd and Carmy are soulmates, in every sense of the word// There are so many hints in the filming directions, dialogue, and clothing that they are soulmates which could lead to becoming romantic, and the fact that people fail to see it just feels odd. But what I've chosen to do is talk more about them as if they are going to happen. I just really like them.

Thank you for being one of the many sydcarmy acc that make it fun to be on this app!// Awee thank you <3 My heart :) It's really sweet hearing people say all these nice things, I love each and every one of you so much. I mean, if we enjoy Sydcarmy, we should be able to freely make all of our posts in peace. And I'm really glad that they are seen by amazing people like you anon. Thank you :)

[runthepockets]

I like how all encompassing Soldier Boy and Homelander are of Baby Boomer and Gen X masculinity. Everything Soldier Boy says is some graphic, unwarrented sex pun or innuendo, all delivered with a dismissive attitude. He bullies and belittles everyone who annoys and inconveniences him (and if you've ever met a Baby Boomer male, that's pretty much everyone), everything about him has a thin layer of defensiveness dripping all over it, and, of course, he thinks feelings are for pussies. His immediate response to seeing his biological son try to appeal to him for approval, in a way that any boy or man tries to appeal to and relate to his father, is "well, guess I gotta put you down now. Bitch." The guy was also a major tool in the racism fueled "war on drugs" endemic, much to the emotional and physical cost of one of the main characters. Pretty much his only redeeming qualities are that he wants aforementioned son dead as much as the main crew, and that when he speaks of women in that chauvanistic "I fuck girls, I don't love them" way, he's pretty much exclusively talking about women his own age, if not older.

Homelander, meanwhile, tries very hard to maintain the image of "wholesome" masculinity, in that way a lot of "successful" Gen X'ers try to; he doesn't drink, he doesn't smoke, he doesn't do hookups or have random sexual endeavors* (*dude is a rapist despite all this, which is 80x worse than just being a slut who has a ton of kinky, consensual sex like the rest of the heroes do, but again, he's a wholesome American role model, earns the 1% a lot of money, and especially placates the white supremacist demographic, so.) This wins him a lot of favor with the more traditional suburban white American demographic. But every time he tries to do the stony machismo thing, he fails miserably. For all of Soldier Boys faults, his performance of masculinity seems to very earnestly align with his beliefs, even if they're all hogwash. Homelander meanwhile, just wants others to like him a lot. There's nothing behind the eyes and everyone can tell after being alone in a room with him for 4 seconds. He makes weird faces when you try to talk to him about anything outside of business, and stands around like a Mii in a plaza when he's not in the public spotlight. He's egotistical, manipulative, he throws tantrums, he's so vein that he only collaberates with white supremacists because they fuel his ego. When they start spewing their "white people are gonna be the minority in a couple of years" crap, he cringes and starts trying to turn the conversation back to himself. He brings out the worst of humanity by adhereing to this image of rugged individualist, materialist, competitive patriarchy that so many guys are prone to falling into.

It's a really fascinating thing to see as an outsider looking in, and I think it's a really good metaphor. When I speak to (most) white men old enough to be my grandfather for long enough, it feels like talking to Soldier Boy. When I speak to (most) white men old enough to be my stepdad for long enough, it feels like talking to Homelander. I mean, if you're the 90% of Americans who aren't straight, white, upper class men, you've seen how fixated this country is on uplifting and plastering successful men of those demographics anywhere and everywhere, much to the detriment of the rest of us (which The Boys also goes into, through the periphery of a bunch of characters rather than just a singular token character. Even the one rich black guy is clearly going through a lot of shit and gets fucked over and targeted in ways that his white peers don't), but I've yet to see a show that balances that so well with the idea that these guys are also severely fucked up, unhappy, and undisciplined individuals. Like, I think if anyone was basically born and treated as a labrat throughout their formative years, and then expected to just be the forefront of every major pop cultural movement, with no affection or emotional check ins the way Homelander is, they'd probably also be the same degree of "malfunctioning cyborg trying to win the broader public's opinion" that he is. There's also no way Soldier Boy is happy blowing through other human beings like cigarettes, being alone with himself after the cool action movie stuff is no longer necessary and the cameras turn off. Again, though, a lot of us go days without eating, and can't leave the house without being sexually harrassed, or experiencing some sort of microagression, and those guys also really like killing people for fun, so like. Tough titties. Change your habits or you are going to pass away.

[brazenautomaton]

Ok, what do MRA think of women? I'm genuinely asking in good faith. Just trying to understand.

Women are not a moral class and don't make decisions as a group. Sexism is a system made by men and women and participated in by men and women. The purpose and effect of sexism is not to exalt men and punish women; sexism exists to maximize women's safety at the cost of agency, and maximize men's agency at the cost of safety. The most successful men are highly rewarded, a hell of a lot more of them die, and male deaths are invisible because we're so hyperfocused on women's safety.

Feminism is not seeking equality, feminism is a sexist ideology that makes the demands of sexism and enforces the outlook of sexism in the way most beneficial to upper middle class white women. (Karen Straughn termed this "the Ladies' Auxiliary of the Patriarchy.") Due to the biases of sexism, feminism is very powerful and successful, as it is basically telling everyone that the way to fight a sexist outlook is to embrace every bias of sexism deeper than ever. The bias of sexism says that men are agents and women are victims, that men act and women are acted upon, and it is the responsibility of men to use their agency to change a woman's environment to make her comfortable. Women's comfort is men's responsibility, and things that make women uncomfortable are treated as if they kill women while things that kill men are treated as if they make men uncomfortable.

Feminism is obsessed with women's safety and justifies all its demands in terms of women's safety and says women's lack of safety is proof men hate women and must atone for it. Women are safer than men and have been safer than men at every location and every point in time in human history, but "everyone knows" that women are in so much more peril than men, because the biases of sexism leave people literally incapable of concluding women are safe.

MRAs do not blame genders, they blame systems and ideologies. Feminism is not synonymous with women, and feminists are terrible people who actively despise men and never stop lying, who get away with it because they claim to be synonymous with women and act threatened and imperiled by people disagreeing with them.

Women have more opportunities to be selfish sexist pieces of shit because the rules of society have been set by feminists to allow them to be selfish sexist pieces of shit, but demographics do not have a moral character. And that's not like me trying to make them sound the most charitable, when you look at places like r/FeMRADebates where the purpose is allegedly to debate, you see the rules are set up to explicitly allow generalization and ascribing traits to genders, but not to ideologies, because feminists want to do the former and MRAs want to do the latter.

[youremyheaven]

Unpopular opinion: Tripti Dimri is on her way to becoming Margot Robbie of Bollywood (saying this with no hate to either because I love both but in context to how men loved Margot till she did Barbie and everyone is just hating on her now for no reason). I loved Tripti in laila majnu and bulbul and I mean I'm sure it has something to do with her plan for her career but Bad Newz is just bad news for her career rn. She's been getting extremely sexualised ever since Animal came out.... Idk what's the point of this film either. Personally I have no issues with the film per se but it's giving 'Revamped Bridget Jones Baby' vibes except usme neither of the men knew who the father is. Plus with the current situation of women hating going on people are going to be like see this is what women do and shit! Idk why everyone is making women the villains 🥲

I really don't want it to be the case but I don't think Triptii is going to have much of a career unless some miracle takes place and she begins to be recognised as a serious actor

It's so fcked up how Animal was the movie that gave her a big break 😔 a movie where an Outsider like her had to literally lick a Nepokid's shoes 😔😔 Vanga is such a violent misogynist, I hope he's rotting and never makes another film

I wish she hadn't done Animal because I don't think she gained anything from the film. The whole "national crush" thing is fake PR hype and most people don't find her attractive or feminine and slut shame for that movie :((( the amount of comments I see on IG reels about her calling her "cheap" or "masculine looking" is insane 💀

I know she made a ton of money and achieved mainstream recognition post - Animal but at what cost???

And she's Pushya Moon 😪😪 doing a film that clearly went against a principles is not going to help her in the long run (Saturnians always suffer when they act contrary to the rigidly righteous nature of Saturn)

If she had stayed on her indie film trajectory she would've eventually received a big break. Maybe it would've taken longer but she'd have been taken seriously as an actor and enjoyed a much better reputation.

I don't want to sound like I'm blaming her because as an Outsider with a handful of films under her belt, Triptii wasn't in a position to turn down a film as big as Animal and I get that. But she's now isolated herself from every demographic. The average Indian just thinks she's cheap or slutty because of her nudity and sexuality in the film (not the greatest first introduction for an actress in India) and the woke liberal crowd thinks she's a sellout lacking intergrity for working with an asshole like Vanga in a movie as horrendous as Animal.

Right now, Triptii is standing on shaky ground. Idk how big of a hit Bad Newwz will be or what it'll do for Triptii's career but the way it's currently going, I feel like she'll do a handful of films and then dip. She isn't really focusing on picking good scripts and is going for commercial appeal which I understand but I don't think the Indian general public likes her very much atp for her to sustain herself as a commercial actress 😔😔😔

It's really hard to be a female superstar in India and only a handful of women have ever achieved it. Hema Malini, Sridevi, Madhuri Dixit and to lesser extents Aishwarya Rai & Deepika Padukone. They're all women who were "known" for being traditional and modest irl (a lot of times it wasn't actually the case but at least they tried to maintain that image lmao and it worked) and they were also more cute and beautiful than straight up sexy 😶‍🌫️

I hope it all works out for Triptii and at least she'll make hella $$$$

I hate that Outsider women are treated like they're disposable in this industry whereas untalented nepo kids like Janhvi and Sara repeatedly get big budget movie offers even though they haven't had a hit in years lol. They'll never be written off like an Outsider and be given endless chances to prove themselves.

Nepotism sucks