#and most of it has been just harmless but annoying racism

[trahoalai]

never gonna experience the "gay kid finds safety and solace in their english class" bc all my teachers have been incredibly racist to me

[educatingmerlin]

Let's talk about these posts, how they are used and how they are harmful.

[ALT TEXT]

Disclaimer ⚠️ : These are just two examples. There are many more posts such as these which exist within the Merlin fandom. Some may not be exactly the same but follow a similar theme.

This is talking about these posts as a whole.

If you are in the Merlin fandom, and have been for a while, you will likely be aware of the hate and racism Gwen Pendragon receives. The hate can vary from direct and blatant racism, to microaggressions or posts such as the ones above.

As you can see in the above images, Gwen is being put down at the expense of Merthur.

Before I continue, this is not a Merthur hate post or page. It is common knowledge within the fandom that Gwen receives hate at the expense of Merthur. And yes, a lot of jokes within the fandom are tied to Merthur and Gwen.

In saying this, it is important to remember eventhough certain ships (such as Merthur) can be tied to the racism Gwen receives, they are not the sole source and reason.

I have used these examples as they are the most popular in the fandom. I have seen these and others around for years, and similar jokes even now are still made.

Both posts are used to sideline and degrade Gwen.

The first post, the scene is Gwen and Arthur are having a picnic. Arthur talks about what he would like to do if he was not prince, speaking about how he would take Gwen and become a farmer. Arthur then mentions how he would also bring Merlin.

The actual response from Gwen in this scene is her smiling about what Arthur said. They then laugh and joke. The bottom image is from when there is a bee near Arthur.

Fans have edited these images to make it seem as though Arthur is thinking about Merlin and Gwen is annoyed at this.

How is this post degrading and sidelining Gwen you may ask?

A common theme amongst the hate Gwen receives as well as post such as these, is that people imply Gwen is jealous of Merlin and Arthur. That she secretly knows they are in a relationship and she hates that.

Gwen is not jealous and never has been jealous. In the show, she has always admired Merlin and Arthur's friendship and how close they are. She understands their love for each other even if they do not admit it themselves. That is shown in the show. It is a fact, not an opinion.

The second post is of a similar theme. It ties into most of what I have said above.

There are constant jokes and comments made about how Merlin and Arthur are in a secret relationship and Gwen is unaware (or according to some, she is aware and jealous).

People have said "Gwen is a beard* for Arthur"

Beard* meaning Arthur is secretly gay and married Gwen because he was forced to.

This (harmful) opinion comes in line with what the second post is about. The top image is a stock image series which has become popular over the last couple of years.

In the different images with these same people, the man is with his presumed girlfriend, but is always looking at another woman in a "she is hot and I fancy her" way.

Basically he goes behind his girlfriend's back to check out other woman and supposedly cheat on her.

Which is what the bottom image also implies with Gwen and Arthur hugging, and Arthur looks over to Merlin. And as you can see, in the stock image the woman hugging the man is aware of what her boyfriend is doing and is annoyed at him.

Like the first image the scene was taken out of context. Arthur looked over to Merlin to say something to him.

Posts and jokes such as these are usually seen as innocent and harmless jokes. However again, they are at the expense of Gwen and her relationship.

Arthur and Gwen's relationship is constantly under fire and invalidated. And unfortunately not a lot of people understand or realise how images such as these have been taken out of context and are made to imply Gwen is someone jealous of her husband or that she is in an unloveable relationship.

Gwen is told she should not be with Arthur. She works better with [redacted]. Arthur and Gwen have no chemistry. Arthur only married her as a cover up for him being gay. The list goes on and on.

These contribute to the harm towards Black women and interracial ships. And eventhough you may just want to share a, what seems, an innocent joke, it is really important that we avoid contributing to subtle racism.

We need to STOP the harmful and inaccurate opinion that Gwen is jealous of Merthur or that Arthur does not really love Gwen.

We CAN ship different people and have lots of different headcanons, opinions and theories WITHOUT harming BIPOC.

Remember the Racism which occur in the Merlin fandom, in the show, towards the characters, towards the fans are much more than fictional ships and characters. There is a deeper and more serious issue rooted in situations such as these and more than simply liking/disliking a ship or a character.

Any posts such as these which sideline and degrade Gwen, should not be posted, laughed at or encouraged. As innocent as you may intend them to be and/or interpret them, they are harmful. And subtle racism is able to continue due to these posts being "just a joke" or "some innocent fun".

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

reading update

what's up, tumblypoos? it's going to be a pretty short one this month, because I have NOT finished a lot of books since last time. the semester has started and made work hectic and exhausting, so much so that when I took a week off and hoped to spend most of it devouring books I ended up spending more time just vegetating to repair my brain.

also, unfortunately, I ran into my first DNF (that's Did Not Finish, for people who don't keep up with profoundly annoying book blogger terminology) in a LONG time, which I will absolutely be detailing below.

what have I been reading?

Lolita (Vladimir Nabokov) - I've always been vaguely curious, but then I listened to Jamie Loftus' brilliant Lolita Podcast and curiosity became somewhat urgent. (I'm relistening to it now, for the record, and I'm looking forward to being able to appreciate Loftus' empathetic analysis in a brand new way now that I've actually read the book she devotes ten episodes to talking about.) you all know I love a sharp, well-written profile of a monster; I had a great fondness for Alissa Nutting's Tampa, a book that follows a 21st century female pedophile that, in hindsight, takes place in vigorous conversation and has many clear parallels with Lolita. I'm also a huge sucker for a book about a truly miserable son of a gun pontificating on their own wretched time, and my god does Humbert Humbert pontificate. he's an excellently unreliable narrator, a heinous monster on trial doing his damndest to downplay his own violence. he wanders back and forth between talking himself up as improbably handsome and charismatic and insisting that he's quite harmless, basically innocent, totally a guy that we should just let go. and did he mention that he definitely didn't kill Dolores' mom? he definitely didn't, he just happened to think about killing her pretty often and in extreme detail and then coincidentally she died at a time that was terribly convenient for him. who hasn't been there? it's a funny story, not in a comedic way but in a painfully dry and brittle way, a deluded man viewing life through a nauseating lens that the reader can see through in an instant, all the way to the melancholy end. I absolutely understand anyone who says it isn't their cup of tea, but I'd highly recommend at least giving Loftus' podcast a listen if you're interested and able.

Women, Race, and Class (Angela Y. Davis) - this one also comes with a recommendation, and it's much shorter than the Lolita Podcast. I'd been meaning to get around to reading this for something like a year, ever since reading Davis' autobiography, but of all things it was a brief reference to Women, Race, and Class in Lily Alexandre's video "Do "Binary Trans Women" Even Exist? The Politics of Gender Conformity" that finally prompted me to nab it at the library. sometimes the universe just sends a sign, you know? it's a concise but thorough history, a tour through American slavery, suffragettes, social stratification, and socialism, presented in the no-nonsense style of Davis' that I appreciate so much. (seriously, if you want to start doing more antiracist and/or abolitionist reading but are intimidate by terminology - Davis. read Davis.) I particularly appreciated the dissection of certain white suffragette leaders turning their backs on antislavery and suffrage for Black Americans, fueled not only by racism but also by the perpetual pressure upon activists to turn upon each other and squeeze out causes that are seen as too radical to be convenient. it's illustrative, and unfortunately still supremely relevant. I wish this was the kind of thing I was reading when I was learning baby's first feminism.

what did I give up on?

Star Eater (Kerstin Hall) - beloved readers, I was excited for this one; you may recall that it was the last of the books on my Hot Book Summer list. it sounded like an incredibly promising dark fantasy about corrupt power structures and cannibalism. in short: the story takes place in a city floating above a world filled with undying monsters called Haunts, ruled over by the Sisters - an order of all-women magic-users whose powers are passed hereditarily from mother to daughter. but there are a few catches: the Sisters have a limited supply of magic, which is best replenished by eating the flesh of other Sisters. further, they must create more Sisters to maintain their power, but any man who has sex with a Sister is doomed to become Haunts who hunger for Sisters' flesh. so how do they solve these problems? easy: the Sisters reproduce through the ritualistic sexual assault of men who have received the death sentence, and maintain their magic by "martyring" their own mothers, essentially placing them in a coma to be consumed slowly. readers, none of this is what turned me off of this book. if anything, it all made me very excited. how absolutely despicably bleak! what an awful world! what a clever depiction of power, and the way it turns bodies into commodities to be devoured and thrown away! I was so excited to see how our hero, Elfreda Raugh, would take it down. and then... oof. and then, dear reader, Star Eater ended up feeling like a book that was written by going down a checklist of fantasy/dystopia YA tropes with a little rape and cannibalism thrown in for flavor. no spoilers (okay, maybe minor spoilers) but the most egregious points for me were the boring boy who was a childhood friend turned love interest, and Our Hero turning out to have extra special BONUS superpowers that made her, essentially, a living MacGuffin. I hope this book is someone's cup of tea, readers, but I cannot say it was mine.

what I'm reading now?

Midnight Sun (Stephenie Meyer) - you all knew this was coming. it's SO FUN and absolutely unhinged, and exactly what I needed to get out of my Star Eater-induced slump.

Perfect Me: Beauty as an Ethical Ideal (Heather Widdows) - this one is a bit of a tough read, because it's heavily rooted in philosophy and that's not the kind of reading I'm accustomed to, but it's eye-opening nonetheless. incidentally, also the result of a YouTube videos; link will be included in my next reading update.

what do I have on hold at the library?

The Other Black Girl (Zakiya Delila Harris)

Rewriting the Rules: An Anti Self-Help Guide to Love, Sex and Relationships (Meg-John Barker)

Iron Widow (Xiran Jay Zhao)

[larstenobar]

Okay so I mentioned it in the tags but I kinda wanna talk about my experiences with So/uth Pa/rk. I say this as a cis, gay, non-Jewish man. I also say this as someone who used to actually engage with the forums on the main site. I also say this as someone who played. both the two major video game RPGs. So I am speaking not from reaction to other people’s reactions but from my own personal knowledge. This post is incredibly long so it’s under a read more. In it I provide what I believe are the actual effects of South Park on its viewership but I need to stress that I think it’s the wrong energy to blame parents for letting their children watch the show.

Don’t blame the parents, blame the show.

That show is genuinely horrible. I’ve seen a lot of people questioning how anyone could let children watch it - and to that I say you’re not adding anything to the conversation by shaming parents for letting their children watch that show. 

My own parents weren’t even out of their twenties when I watched the show, and many other parents grew up with the show as a non-issue. Young parents make mistakes.

At the time it came out and its early years only extremely vigilant parents realized how problematic the show was and the news was hard to spread without social media. At best you could inform your parent friends and hope they listened.

The show’s main characters are children, many parents found/find it hard to believe that a show with children as the main characters could be bad for those children. If the show were exactly the same but the children were college-aged then it would be another raunchy show they could easily see is not meant for their kids.

There’s a good portion of children who watched the show that weren’t actually allowed to watch it because their parents weren’t as tech savvy as them and therefore didn’t know about pirating/streaming until it was mainstream. We who grew up with YouTube knew you could put in [show] episode 1 part 1 and start watching. (this is gonna be another point later btw)

I know that it’s hard for you guys to even know all the reasons it’s problematic because you all barely scratch the surface of it’s problems. But before we even get into the meat of its problems (Science Denial, Homophobia, Transphobia, Ableism, Anti-Semitism, Islamophobia, etc.) we have to look at the very premise of the show.

The main characters begin in fourth grade. Fourth Grade. There’s a phenomena in our culture where we believe that children saying stupid stuff is harmless, and we forget that when children hear children speak - even animated children - they are hearing their peers. And peers learn from each other. This is why the show is so insidious, because it makes it easier for children to digest the messages.

Another thing that’s very important to note is that - while it’s labelled satire, every single joke is played straight, and the straight man character (usually either S or Ky) are ridiculed by the culture they’re surrounded in. Don’t believe me? Think I’m over-exaggerating? Think about the election episode, where they had to pick between a literal piece of shit or a douche. Our Straightmen were constantly saying how ridiculous the situation was, but everyone around them was telling them they were the ones who were stupid for not particpating in the election until they eventually break and submit to the absurdity. This is a light example, but it’s the typical formula. If they aren’t actively participating in the absurdity around them, they’re ridiculed until they break. What this tells the audience isn’t that the people who were particpating were stupid, but that they were right.

Now that we’ve looked at the show premise, let’s get into the details. A note: This is just what I remember from approximately age 5-18, the latter years I’d been turned off from it slowly so I wasn’t as engaged but it was not any better then. Since this is just what I can remember without looking through episodes or looking up articles, this is going to be a small sampling of things that stuck with me. Be assured, there was much, much, much more.

Science Denial and its effects on the viewers.

This is the lightest thing I can recall, and probably going to be the smallest section as it’s mostly centered around their stand-in for global warming, a cryptid figure called M/an/Be/ar/P/ig. Al G/ore was painted as a desperate, raving lunatic for believing in the phenomena, and was even implied to be making it up by having him dress up as the cryptid. I don’t have to explain why this is wrong, but we need to look at the effect this had.

On the one hand it made fans think that Global Warming (as it’s something A.G. believed in) was a hoax. Furthermore, it made them believe that anyone who believed in it was telling lies, which was overwhelmingly the most progressive people. A direct effect of these jokes (which they apologized for but never stopped propagating btw, MBP was still a joke when I stopped watching) was that progressives were seen as over-dramatic and stupid.

Now, I am not saying people watched these shows and immediately thought “oh wow, how fucking stupid of A.G. I don’t believe in climate change anymore.” It’s more like this: “Oh haha, S thinks A.G. is annoying, I like S so I agree, A.G. is annoying. You know, A.G. is kinda annoying with all that global warming, maybe there’s something to him being over-dramatic? Gosh why can’t these progressives see that it’s not that big of a deal. If they trust A.G. then they MUST be blowing other things out of proportion.” That’s the thought processes it trains its viewers to have.

LGBT+ Characters

Okay so there’s actually a lot of things that go into the Homophobia of S/P. And it goes back to the very beginning of the show, and is both explicit and implicit. There is a huge problem with these, but the main problem isn’t so much that they exist, but the show’s attitude towards their own ‘jokes’ and the ways in which fans suck up that thought process.

Before I get into this, there were some things that I need to say in favor of the show - not because I think the show deserve praise, but because there were some things that I latched onto and showed a surprising nuance. There’s like one thing, really but it is, of course, attached to something that’s a much larger issue within the show, so while it is a small glimmer, it’s in no way outshining any of the problems in the show.

For a while, the teacher underwent gender reassignment when he (the teacher currently identifies as male from my last interaction with the show) got breast implants and presumably bottom surgery (I vaguely remember a surgery but honestly that could be an invention) he was in a gay relationship. His then boyfriend had a very heartfelt and difficult conversation about how he still cared about him and how he’ll never hate him for being the woman that he wanted to be, but there was no way that he could pursue a relationship with him. I thought that this was a very mature depiction of a very difficult situation that is never really talked about. However, as I implied earlier, this is attached to a larger issue. Before any of you start having second thoughts about your ideas about S/P’s portrayal of gay and trans people, immediately after getting broken up with the teacher became violently homophobic as a backlash, I vaguely recall a group being formed.

Our main examples of LGBT individuals in the show are these big four (five?):

The afforementioned teacher

The teacher’s boyfriend, who wears leather gear at school and can’t stop talking kink even in front of the child characters

A character called B/ig G/ay A/l who is just as stereotypical as his name implies.

T/weak and C/raig, who are classmates of the focal characters. There’s a lot of reasons this is problematic, none of them being the age of those involved in the relationship - but the portrayal of them is hugely problematic.

Since I’ve already touched on the teacher, we’ll get into them first. When he was introduced, he was a sort of ambiguously gay character who was very bitchy and spoke with a slight lisp that eventually became a canon gay character with his relationship with the Kink Character. He was violently hateful towards his class, verbally abusing them all the time and often particpating in bullying children. Furthermore he’s seen as incompetent. This is problematic not because he’s a gay man doing this (though it’s not great either) but because this taught children that teachers don’t care about them and that they shouldn’t listen to them because they don’t know what they’re talking about anyways. This goes into their anti-intellectual stance mentioned earlier. It enforces the idea that education systems are useless, not because of the institutional problems they have with racism, but because of the incompetence of the system.

Going back to the point of this, still with the same character, let’s further explore the problems they had when the teacher had an arc as a trans woman. Honestly, I didn’t pay much attention to it, but the show made a point to let you know that the other characters were uncomfortable when Mr. G became Ms. G. The most damning thing about this, however, is the fact that Mr. G detransitioned bc he realized he wasn’t a straight woman, just a gay man. I think this is problematic because it frames transitioning as a sexual strategy. I don’t think I have to go into detail on why that’s problematic. And while this isn’t actually a tie into how horrible their handling of this character is, it should be noted that he’s the character that went on to be their T/rump stand-in.

The next character is the Kink Man.

God, the character’s personality isn’t actually all that bad. He’s loving and caring and empathetic and actually usually on the right side of topics, but. He doesn’t separate his kink from his personal life. He’s always strutting around in leather-daddy gear and has a lisp. His name is literally Mr. S/lave. There was an episode where he shoved a hamster in his ass. To viewers, he represents the dirty gays that keep shoving their sex-life down their throats - and this view is never, ever, ever subverted, so since the show never makes fun of people for having that view it reinforces that idea in their minds.

Honestly the least problematic character of the LGBT characters that I mentioned was BGA. He’s still a stereotype, yeah, he has a gay dog and is super flamboyant and constantly talks about how proud he is but honestly that’s not really all that bad. I can’t directly recall anything bad about him except that he’s incredibly flamboyant, speaks with a lisp, and loves to call things he owns “BGA’s Big Gay [noun].” Relatable. That doesn’t mean there was nothing problematic, it just doesn’t immediately come to me.

Now, for the next most problematic “representation” in the show. First, T&C showed no signs of actually being gay before. I do recall them both being my favorite characters before they became a couple, however. T is a coffee addict which has some suspect aspects we’ll get into later, and C used to flip everyone off. This was why they were my favorites. They became gay literally when fangirls started shipping them in the show. I’m sure there was an actual fandom movement, but their getting together was incredibly forced - that was part of the joke btw, that gay shipping is always forced. What’s horrible about this is that this was in an episode about ya/oi.

Now, let’s try to dissect this issue. First off, what this tells viewers is that being gay was not a natural part of who they were, but was an active choice (if you’re being kind) or something society forced on them (if you’re not.) The two were actively fighting with the narrative that they were gay and in a relationship. I think their actual agreement for being boyfriends was more of a mutual public display than an actual relationship, but it’s a fuzzy memory because that whole episode felt like a fever dream.

What’s worse about this, is that the show actually displayed ya/oi depictions of these children within the show. Nothing NSFW, but clearly sexually charged situations were definitely shown. At the time, they were 5th graders. 9/10 year olds for those not in the states. This emboldened actual CT shippers “If the show could do it, then so can I” was the general mentality on the forums I was on. So we can talk on pedophilia to reasons why this show is awful.

And those are just the named recurring characters. Another commonly recurring character is a prostitute with a deep voice who is very sloppy looking that, from my recollection, is implied to be a transwoman. This might have just been a conclusion I drew when I was young however - but even that is reason to be critical of the character, that such a conclusion could even be drawn means it might have played a factor in the character’s inception.

They also “Solved Overpopulation” with a gay orgy. I don’t have the language to define why this sat so wrong with me, but I remember being very deeply hurt by it. I think it has something to do with the idea that homosexuality is a choice and that it should only be accepted because of the potential benefits it has for population control.

Islamophobia and Racism

Okay so I’m just gonna come out the gate by saying that they fought hard to depict the prophet Mohammad. Like, hard. And they did it twice - one time went almost unnoticed but the second had a huge backlash from the Islamic people. For those who aren’t aware, it’s sacrilege to depict Mohammad. It’s like desecrating a church, maybe worse - I really have no frame of reference for how bad it’s viewed, but however bad it is, it still boils down to being a strict taboo that S/P broke not once, but twice.

Now, as I keep reminding, my memory gets hazy for many things, especially things I wasn’t aware of being insensitive early on. I have vague memories of terrorists being depicted in traditional Sikh garb, and similar instances of directly relating Islam with terrorism. I don’t recall the show ever making fun of anyone for relating Muslims with terrorism, for all those fans out there saying they make fun of everyone.

There was an episode where the characters wore blackface. There’s a black character literally named t/oken b/lack. Sure, that could be satire and maybe even be defended if they subverted the trope, however it should be noted he’s not the only black character in the show! There was an episode where there was a child adopted from Africa whose name escapes me - he was emaciated and devoured food at an alarming rate and generally was a nuisance if I remember correctly.

There was an instance where one of the main character’s father was on Wheel of Fortune. The category was people who annoy you. the letters on the board were ‘N_ggers.’ You know where this is going, the father said the N-word. The word was really naggers, but the rest of the episode was a sympathetic journey with him dealing with being ostracized. He became known as an ‘n-word guy’ which was treated as a worse term within the universe. I say this because a law was passed where the phrase was outlawed and they said you had to have a space of at least 5 words between ‘n-word’ and ‘guy’. Also, the n-word was said multiple times by a number of white characters. Now, I know the argument people make about this episode. They say that we were supposed to find the scanario ridiculous, but the issue I take with it is more that we’re led to feel sympathetic to racists who’ve had their lives ruined for being racist. That’s the issue with South Park’s brand of ‘satire’. It satirizes one issue, but doesn’t touch on the problematic things used to support that satire.

Almost every single Mexican character is a stereotype of some sort. Either a laborer who can barely speak English, a gangbanger, or some other stereotype. There was an episode where they had C’s hand become a famous Latina popstar by singing about Mexican Food themed songs, like the actual songs ‘T/aco F/lavored K/isses’ and ‘T/aco B/urrito’. The hand’s name was Jennifer Lopez, I don’t know of these songs are direct parodies bc I’ve only heard Jenny From the Block.

And while S/P tends to stay away from very direct anti-black jokes, they don’t shy away from other races. There’s an asian character whose business is called ‘c/ity wok’, but he always pronounces it ‘shitty’ because the joke here is ‘oh haha asians have funny accents’ and literally nothing else. I honestly believe that asians receive the WORST treatment on S/P when it comes to facing racism, but I’m not qualified to make that claim. Other examples of anti-asian racism: There was an pokemon episode where they said that Japan was using anime to indoctrinate youth, they literally had the kids operate fighter jets to make an attack on the U.S. What’s worse about this, is that whenever the Japanese execs were questioned about this, every time, they dropped their pants to show how small their penises were and how they should be pitied for it. Another instance, I very strongly remember a depiction of asian characters as being lemon yellow with eyes like this: \ /. There was an episode where they had Asians violently murder whales with glee. They lean into anti-asian racism so much harder than any other form of racism - the only thing they’re worse about is their antisemitism, which will get its own section later.

Antisemitism

God there’s so much. Jew Gold, nazi imagery, the entirety of c/a/r/t/m/a/n as a character and there are so many posts on this website by people much more qualified than me to delve into what exactly is wrong with this and the depictions of it, so I’m mostly just going to catalog what comes to mind and then speak about the actual factual instances of S/P inspired antisemitism I’ve witnessed and been party to.

There was an episode devoted to Jewish people having a secret bit of gold around their necks. This was proven true in the universe when Ky gave up his ‘J*w Gold’ to C.

Ky’s mom is such an overbearing harpy who bulldozes over everyone, this was later explained as her having Jersey-Blood (yes this was a Jersey Shore joke) but before that it was completely because she was a proud Jewish woman.

Ky’s father is depicted as weak-willed and piddling. He always wears a yarmulke no matter the situation.

Ky is often depicted as being whiny and non-commital

OF ALL THE CHARACTERS, KY IS THE ONE WHO IS DEPICTED AS A HYPOCRITE THE MOST

Ky’s cousin with the same name is depicted as in poor health, complains about everything, whines about things not being fair bc they don’t go his way, and has caricatured Jewish features

As mentioned above, there are hosts of Nazi imagery associated with C

C has said every Jewish slur I have ever heard. In fact he introduced me to the concept of antisemitism

Ky, in a Christmas episode, is depicted as wishing he could celebrate Christmas and Hanukkah is depicted as a sort of consolation prize that’s Not As Good.

Ky’s father was an internet troll, and the trolls were. literal trolls. with certain features that are not great.

The following image is the Prophet Moses:

And there’s more and more and more. I will not accept anyone saying that this is just jokes because I know firsthand how insidious their treatment of Jewish people is because this show literally made me think it was okay to engage in Antisemitism. I made greedy jokes, like saying a got J**ed when i was screwed over, or that someone who was being greedy was being a J*w. I am not proud of this, and I think I grew out of it relatively quickly as I dropped that language in middle school.

But not everyone did. Even some of my closest friends were still saying they got J**ed when we were graduating high school. There were no Jewish people at my school, so there was no humanizing face for the Jewish people for us. Thank god for the Nanny or who knows what kind of person I’d be now. There were people even worse than me, I should mention. There was one person in my school who literally used J*w as a stand-in for loser because of this show. This show was the only interaction with the Jewish faith that most of my classmates ever had, and the same is true of many rural towns in America who have only Protestant populations.

Fatphobia

All the most unlikeable characters are fat. C. Ky’s mom. The gun-toting republican. And there are other specific episodes where they equate fatness to not being healthy. In their episode partnered with WoW (don’t forget that happened, y’all) the main antagonist was depicted as a no-life having loser and he was, surprise, fat. This show draws a very direct line between being fat and being unlikeable.

Sexism

God, the portrayal of women is so horrible, literally my only entry here is going to be one single link:

Note all the other isms depicted in this btw.

Substance Abuse

The prostitute mentioned in the LGBT section would wander into scenes screaming about how she wanted crack. There was an episode where they created a league of basketball players who were comprised entirely of ‘crack babies.’ I’m being generous by not putting that in the racism section because most of the babies were BIPOC which says something about the kind of people that M/att and T/rey think are addicts.

The character T/owelie is supposed to show an addict, but his addiction is literally just weed which means they’re claiming weed is addictive.

I can’t even begin to describe the show’s relationship to alcohol. As a child of an alcoholic, I can say that it’s not fucking cute that they made S’s dad a violent drunk. It’s genuinely scary to see your parent fly into a rage because of their alcoholism and them reducing it to a joke was, I think, one of the points where the ‘it’s just a joke’ mentality started to break for me personally. 

While we’re on the subject of parents, C’s mom was literally a crack addict who was also a full service sex worker. The correlation is not sympathetic in the slightest. And even worse was Ke’s parents. They were depicted as abusive, neglectful, drug-addicted rednecks. This was sometimes played to make you sympathize with Ke, and it worked because even now I can hardly think of how Ke himself was problematic rather than the situations he was in. (He’s the one who gets gruesomely murdered every episode) I don’t know if this is because of selective memory, if he was genuinely just the least problematic in the show, or if I’m waxing nostalgic for the show. Regardless, as I said, his situation was mostly played for sympathy. However, it was also played for jokes almost as often.

Pedophilia

The children are put in sexual situations a nonzero amount of times, they make priest molestation jokes, and they made jokes about MJ.

Slurs

Yeah they said them a lot. There was the aforementioned N-Word Guy episode, but there was also an episode that thinly mirrored immigrants coming to America for work and the people (time-travelers) were called ‘Goobacks’. I think the word ch*nk was used a nonzero amount of times, C used every slur for Jewish people in the book. None of these were censored by the show, any censoring was done by networks.

Why make this post?

Because I know people know this show is garbage, but I think it’s important that people know why it’s garbage with specific and nonspecific instances of why the show was problematic.

[wolfpawn]

I Hate You, I Love You, Chapter 20

Chapter Summary -  Tom goes to Luke to discuss his recent ad campaigns and the reactions from them, only to end up getting some realism from his "nanny".

Danielle gets the work opportunity she has been slaving towards, but it means taking time away from Suffolk.

Previous Chapter

Rating - Mature (some chapters contain smut)

Triggers - references to Tom Hiddleston’s work with the #MeToo Movement. That chapter will be tagged accordingly.

authors Note - I have been working on this for the last 3 years, it is currently 180+ chapters long.  This will be updated daily, so long as I can get time to do so, obviously.

tags: @sweetkingdomstarlight-blog  @jessibelle-nerdy-mum @nonsensicalobsessions @damalseer @hiddlesbitch1

If you wish to be tagged, please let me know.

“Well?” Tom asked nervously.

“It’s going down a storm.” Luke beamed back. “I mean, there are few critics that are commenting that it is a bit ‘S&M’, but your fans, they are going nuts. We are very much back to pre-Her levels.”

“She has a name you know, you sound like someone in Harry Potter.”

“How do you know about Harry Potter?”

“I go on more flights than I do car journeys; I have seen all of the movies.” Tom shrugged.

“Yes well, I rather not evoke the spirit of the devil if I can.”

“You are hilarious,” Tom commented in a deadpan voice.

“What’s biting your ass today, tired?”

“No, well, a little, but just…”

“What?”

“Nothing.”

“Tom?”

“How could she take him back?”

“Who?” Luke looked at his friend in utter bewilderment.

“Danielle.”

“I’m lost,” Luke admitted. “How does Ms. Hughes even equate into anything?”

“He was at her house this morning.”

“Who?”

“Her boyfriend.”

“Okay, now I am completely and utterly lost.” Luke decided to forget to try and understand what Tom was saying.

“Danielle, her boyfriend didn’t defend her when his friend made a racist remark about her, which upset her so much she got a migraine, and then she said she threw them out when they came to her house, but then this morning when I was leaving, his car was there,” Tom explained; Luke just stared at him silently. “What?”

“Why do you care what happens with Danielle and her boyfriend?”

“Because he upset her.”

“Tom, what is this really about?”

Tom frowned. “What do you mean?”

“Why are you really getting bothered by what she is doing?” Tom said nothing, instead of waiting for Luke to continue. “Is it in any way to do with being jealous?”

“Why would I be jealous?”

Luke sighed in frustration at the genuine oblivious look on Tom’s face. “Never mind, clearly you haven’t figured out your own little crush on her.”

“Who?”

“Danielle.” Luke realised there was no way to avoid what was about to be discussed. “You have something of a crush on Ms Hughes, why, I am not sure, she is smart and hardworking, definitely, but she is also normal, something you have not had in your life in so long.”

“I don’t have a…” Tom stopped talking when Luke raised a brow.

“Then why has everything you discussed regarding Ms Hughes of late been in regards to her relationship status, and why are you particularly bothered by her having a partner stay overnight in her home?” He challenged.

“I…”

“Look Tom, you have had this little flame for her for a while, and at first, I thought it was harmless, and even with your less than ideal situation of late, I thought it had fizzled out, most crushes do, but it is actually after increasing hasn’t it, and the fact that for the first time since I can recall, Ms Hughes has a partner, you are finally figuring this out yourself.”

“What…I…”

“Go home Tom, get a good rest for yourself, and try and let this…thing out of your head. Since she is willing to forgive an apparently horrible act, I do not think this can end well for you should you pursue it.” Luke stated sadly. “She clearly loves him, and I know that hurts to hear, but you are only going to annoy yourself more if you hold onto something like this.”

“It’s not like her, she seemed so angered by what happened,” Tom stated weakly.

“Well, they most have worked passed it then. Compromise and forgiveness are a huge part of relationships.”

“How do you compromise on racism?” Tom asked.

“You don’t, but you said he was not the racist party, so perhaps serious grovelling and showing remorse have aided him.” Luke shrugged.

“I…” Tom swallowed. “Luke…”

“Just go home, have a nice Jameson, and read over the script that I know you got, I think it would suit you and your repertoire very well,” Luke suggested with a friendly smile.

“And Danielle?”

“That I cannot help you with Tom, but there is something I can say. She is a paramedic, and I am not saying that as a bad thing, but she is not of ‘your world’ she is normal, and that doesn’t last in your business, you know that. Actors need to be with people in their industry, they need people who understand the entire press tours, invasion of privacy and away for four months shooting, they don’t last with blue-collar workers, they can’t, they are too different, and you know that. I think that is why you want her, because she is not what you need, just something you know in your own head you should not have.” Luke explained. “Besides, she has someone; you already have been half blamed for the whole Elizabeth and Holbrook, not to mention Her and Harris, don’t have your name dragged through the dirt for normal couples too, that is when people really get judgmental.”

“But they are so wrong together.”

“What does he work at again?”

“He’s a doctor in some A&E.”

“So a paramedic and a doctor are a terrible match, but the paramedic and the actor are a great one?” Luke looked at him sceptically. “I know you are a little in love with her in your own head, but that is not going to work Tom, and what’s worse is, inside, you know that.”

“What am I going to do Luke?” Tom asked in exasperation.

“Nothing,” Luke replied bluntly. “If you really like this girl, you leave her to try to be happy with someone that seems to make her somewhat so.”

“But…”

“There are no buts, Tom, leave her be happy.” Not even saying anything, Tom stormed out of the office, not saying anything else to Luke as he left; Luke sighed and rubbed his hands over his face. “This is not going to be an issue at all.” He commented sarcastically to himself.

*

“Ms Hughes, a moment please.” Her supervisor requested when she was eating in the staff hall.

“What have you done now Hughes?” One of her co-workers joked.

“He probably pre-empting my murdering you someday Davis for being an absolute ass.” She retorted, earning a few chuckles and laughs as she left the room. “Yes, sir?”

“I got a request in from the Granada, apparently they heard the BBC were satisfied with your work on that shoot of theirs, they also are aware of your extensive study and qualifications for the past two years, and have asked for you to be available to head to Manchester.”

“Granada, Sir?” the name did not ring a bell with Danielle.

“Yes, Granada, they are the company that owns the rights to Coronation Street. You don’t strike me as a soap fan, but surely you know what Coronation Street is? You have that in Ireland too, don’t you?”

“Yes sir, it was something of a constitution when I was a child; and according to people I am still in contact with on Facebook, it still is.”

“Well, they have their usual, end of year catastrophe coming up, some tragic event where they will probably kill off some member of the cast, and they are asking for you.”

“That’s cool.”

“That’s a little more than cool.” Jones chuckled. “You are expected to be there next week for close to a month, it’s apparently a big thing, comes with a NonDisclosure Agreement and everything.” He handed her the paperwork required and sat back in his chair. “Looks like everything you have been working towards is coming your way Danielle, congratulations, I hope you are delighted with yourself, you have worked so hard on it.”

“I am, it was worth it all; it was no major sacrifice.”

“Your whole twenties spent working like a dog, I would think that would have been too great of one for most your age.”

“And that is why they are still in their little office hating their job at fifty.” She smiled.

“What is your greatest fear, Hughes?”

“Regret, regret at not giving it everything, and leaving something on the table, of never getting where I can because I never worked for it.” She answered.

“I read a line of an article recently where the subject said something very similar.”

Danielle gave a small wink, “Well, for the record, I said it first, he simply copied it.” She smiled as she left. Going to her locker, she took out her phone and groaned at seeing Paul’s number in her missed calls, the thought of a month away made her feel relief, cementing her belief that her actions that morning were the right ones. She knew it was hard for him, she had seen the heartache in his eyes when she had his belongings ready for him in her living room to bring with him, but Paul was not who she wanted or needed. She knew she would never get who she wanted, so she needed to get over that. Going into her message options, she composed a message, telling Paul that she was not going to be in Suffolk for the foreseeable future, her career was now elsewhere. She hoped it would give him the break he needed, and allow her to suffer her own, somewhat more obscure broken heart.

When she put the phone in her belt and grabbed her gear to go and deal with a callout, she noticed he had not responded. She gave a small relieved smile, and cleared her head, ready for what she had to do for her night.

[thewriterinresidence]

So I wrote a thing

It’s long and part of something I’m working on that I won’t reveal all of the details of but here it is!

It’s long, though, so apologies in advance!

Everyone looked at each other, then back at the table.

This is the Scarlet Heart?

That was the question that was on everyone’s minds. Confusion, fear, and curiosity permeated the air as the Coven all looked at the item on the table.

In front of them was a well-known magical artifact, a legendary one, The Scarlet Heart. There wasn’t a single Caster who hadn’t heard about it; it was often one of the first things that people learned about as children, or when they became curious about magical items and weapons.

But information about the Heart itself was scarce. There was nothing detailed about its specific origins or when, exactly, it was created; truthfully, only the most basic of knowledge could be found, and the little that was known about it wasn’t good.

The Coven had heard it all before. They had heard plenty of stories about the horrors that the Heart had caused. Heartbreak, war, mass destruction, all the untold deaths and families torn apart. All at the hands of anyone who managed to get their hands on it. It had since been locked away, and that was as far as anyone knew. But exactly how much of it was truth and how much was exaggeration was unknown.

The so-called Scarlet Heart, however, simply looked like your average piece of jewellery, a large, heart shaped ruby attached to a silver chain. In fact, it seemed almost…harmless, if any magical object can be called that, especially one as infamous as this.

Ayan was the first to break the silence, laughing in disbelief. “This is it? This is the big bad Scarlet Heart? It’s literally just a necklace!” She leaned forward, picked it up, and examined it, swinging it back and forth and laughing again.

Layla groaned and rolled her eyes. Leave it to Ayan to act rashly. The situation was dire; they had a dangerous object in their home, which no one knew anything about, and here she was, treating the Heart like a toy.

“I really don’t think you should be doing that,” Muna told Ayan, nervous. “What if it breaks? Or even worse, accidentally casts a spell? There was no telling what could happen!”

“What’s the problem? It’s just a necklace!” Ayan retorted. She was holding the Heart by its chain. It was no longer swinging, but something about it was still unsettling. It was almost as if the Heart’s power hung in the air, reminding the Coven of all of the stories behind it, of all the death, the destruction, and the chaos it had left in its wake over its long existence. Real or not, it still left a sense of foreboding in the room, one that the Coven couldn’t break free of.

Even Ayan felt a little nervous, even midly ill, but she still held the Heart, unable to put it down.

“So, what exactly do we have to do with it again?” Yasmin asked, eager to move on. She knew that if they started arguing, they would never stop. Better to stop it now than deal with it later, she thought.

“We’re supposed to protect it, I guess,” Layla answered, raising her hand. Ayan gasped as the Heart quickly disappeared from her hand, suddenly appearing in Layla’s hand. Ayan sighed, mostly with relief.

“Sorry,” she apologized quickly, a little ashamed of herself for being so flippant, and Layla nodded. Ayan leaned back against her chair, looking at the others.

“Anyways, if it’s been locked away for so long, how did we get asked to keep an eye on it?” Ayan asked, snorting. She was amused, but her confusion was clearly genuine. “Why would anyone want us to protect it? Have they met us?”

Muna and Yasmin laughed, and Layla soon followed despite herself. Ayan was right about that; while they had been trained for a long time to use their powers, and weren’t inexperienced newbies, they frequently drew ire for their “lackadaisical” and “disrespectful” approach to magic. At least, in the words of the heads of the Spellcaster’s Alliance, meaning, of course, that the Alliance weren't too happy about how free they were with their powers. Most people were free with their powers, but the Coven were often specifically targeted by the Alliance as an example of freedom with magic gone wrong, as they so often. The Alliance could pretend that there wasn’t racism involved in their disdain for the Coven, but the sisters knew better. This made the decision to trust them with the Heart that much more baffling and, indeed, that much more laughable.

Layla coughed, finally having stopped laughing. “Well, either way, they wanted us to do this. And would Maryan lie to us?”

Yasmin looked at the note left by their mentor and grinned. “Knowing Maryan, she probably gave them hell for overlooking us.”

The sisters laughed again. If anything could be said, it was that Maryan really believed in them and would go to bat for them whenever any opportunities like this came up. Sure, this was the first time that it had ever worked, but this was why they all loved her.

Yasmin cleared her throat after a few minutes and looked at the note again, trying to fully understand what was happening. Something about it was still confusing. Maryan hadn’t left much information about the task, besides the basic details and what little she knew about the Heart, and the little beyond that only spoke about “enemies” that the Alliance were worried would be after the Heart’s power. Nothing about who those “enemies” were or why they would be after the Heart now after so many years. No, all that it said was that they needed to guard the Heart with their lives. This wasn’t Maryan’s fault, of course. She was just as much in the dark as they were, and only has as much intel as the Alliance was willing to give. Which was not very much, clearly, judging from the note. And of course the Alliance members kept her in the dark.

Yasmin wasn’t surprised since, after all, the Alliance members were secretive and had always been. None of the heads had ever thought for a moment that they would need to explain the details of something so serious and important more thoroughly than just “protect this magical item”. It was just something that every Caster had gotten used to, even though plenty of people saw this as annoying at best and downright dangerous at worst. Still, everyone obeyed their every word, afraid of what might happen. The Alliance members were not above stripping people of their magic for the smallest infractions, especially after getting a whole new group of leaders, which led to much stricter laws and leaders who were not inclined to be merciful.

Yasmin blinked and finally looked up from the note, looking at her sisters.

“So now that we have this…thing here, how do we protect it? Where do we even start?” she asked, gesturing to the Heart, which was still in Layla’s hand. There were so many questions at hand that she didn't even know where to begin, besides the obvious.

Muna shrugged. She was just as confused as everyone else about all of this.

“God, I wish I knew. Why don’t the heads ever say anything useful?” she replied, irritated. “Do they just expect us to read their minds or something?”

Ayan grinned. “I mean…we could…but everyone in the Alliance probably has a mental blocking spell that prevents that…” she trailed off, becoming serious again. “I wish it were that easy, but I guess we’re on our own with this one.”

Everyone groaned, their exhaustion with the Alliance and their constant stream of nonsense apparent.

“Why are they always like that, anyway? What good it is to just hide information from us and expect us to know what to do?” Muna asked, her anger

Layla couldn’t help but snort derisively. “Because, for some reason, they think Mortals are gonna, like, take over if they know about the magic world. Like that makes any kind of sense!”

Muna shook her head. “They do realize that Casters aren’t an oppressed class on their own, right?”

“What do you expect from a bunch of white men? I swear, they all have weird persecution complexes,” Yasmin laughed, more exasperated and disgusted than truly amused.

“And besides,” Ayan continued leaning forward briefly, “Mortals already know about magic, and nothing’s happened, so they’d better just get over themselves and get used to it.” She leaned back again, crossing her legs and leaning against the arm of her chair, propping her head up on her hand.

It was true that the magical landscape had changed; now that Mortals knew about magic, and everything that came along with it, there was no need to hide anything to do with magic and everyone was free to do what they wanted regarding their own powers. How the Alliance hadn't moved forward with the times was beyond anyone's comprehension.

“Anyways,” Layla sighed, wanting to get back to their new jobs, “I guess we can just…take turns keeping it with us?” She looked at the Heart, staring at it, trying to understand the best way to go about this.

“Okay, but who’s gonna start? And for how long?” Yasmin asked. Se wanted to get this started as quickly as possible; even having the Heart near her made her nervous.

“Hm...good question,” Ayan answered her. “I guess we could each just, like, keep it for a day and then switch off?”

“Sounds like as good an idea as any,” Muna replied. She couldn’t think of anything else to do about this task.

But Layla was staring at the Heart, not even hearing Yasmin’s question, or anything after it. She could only vaguely make out the chatter around her, as her sisters debated this very question, while she was lost in her own thoughts, wondering about all of this.

Layla had her own questions. Why had they been chosen? Even with Maryan's support, they would surely have the Alliance leaders breathing down their necks, making sure that they didn't screw this up, and that would just make things more difficult. Who were these enemies that the Alliance spoke about, and why would they strike now, of all times? What was their plan? World domination? How cliché, she couldn’t help but think derisively.

And how had there not been plenty of opportunities to take it or at least threaten to do so? One would have thought that, with such an artifact, that there would be at least a few people looking to steal it and use it for their own gains. But, somehow, this hadn’t happened, not to Layla’s knowledge, anyway.

Most of all, Layla doubted her abilities. What if something went wrong? What if the Heart limited their power and made them unable to fight of potential attackers? What if they lost it? And if none of that happened and they were somehow able to face anyone who could get to the Heart? What would happen then? Would she and her sisters be stripped of their abilities for failing to guard the Heart? Or would there be a far worse punishment that the Alliance could conjure up?

And, of course, there was one more fear that Layla had, that was even more terrifying than any potential threats, or even the wrath of the Alliance. Something buried deep in her thoughts, something that

It was something that Layla never admitted to herself, not out of pride or some arrogant sense of invincibility. No, that wasn't motivator of her fear. It was something that terrified her, made her life a living hell if she sat quietly with her own thoughts for too long. It made no sense; after all,

What would happen if she made the one mistake that would cost her her sisters' lives?

Layla became aware of a faint voice, calling to her, getting louder and more insistent with every passing second. Finally...

“Layla!”

Layla jumped and looked up and shook her head. That was incredibly embarrassing, but nothing she could do now other than get back to the job.

“Sorry” she apologized, looking at her worried sisters. She was sure that they were used to her floating off into her own thought at a moment's notice, but it didn't make her feel any less embarrassed and ashamed when it happened at important times. God, ADHD was a bitch.

“Did you hear any of that?” Ayan asked, knowing full well what the answer was. She still asked, however. Something about Layla's face made her worried, and she wanted to check and see what was happening. There were times when Layla would space out, and everyone knew that her ADHD was the cause of it, so that wasn't the primary concern. There were times where Layla would hesitate before doing something, asking questions to make sure that everything would be as close to easy as possible and relatively okay, and this looked like one of those times. Ayan had a feeling that Layla was afraid something would go wrong.

Layla shook her head at her sister's question, and Ayan sighed. She moved over and sat down next to Layla, on the arm of Layla’s chair.

“We're gonna be fine,” she assured her older sister, taking her hand. “Nothing is gonna happen to us. I know it's scary, but we've dealt with worse. We can handle this!” Ayan smiled.

Muna and Yasmin nodded as well. “Yeah. I promise we'll do this together,” Muna added, and Yasmin nodded, as well.

           Layla nodded, letting out the breath she didn't even realize she was holding. They were right; she was a little ashamed, though. After all, she was the oldest, and she shouldn’t be showing such weakness. This was silly, and she knew it, but logic had never done much to make this shame go away in the past. The shame wasn't enough to completely detract from her sisters' kindness, though, and she couldn't help but smile a little.

           We'll be fine, she assured herself. Nothing is gonna happen. We can do this.

Layla knew that these thoughts would come back again soon. That was just how her mind worked but, for now, she was okay.

           “So, do you want to take the first watch?” Muna asked, and Layla was grateful for the distraction.

           “Hm...I guess I can,” Layla answered. “But how are we gonna hide it? I mean, we are supposed to keep it a secret, right? We can't endanger anyone, and I don't wanna answer any weird questions.”

           This was a valid thought; because every Caster knew about the existence of the Heart, it being visible at any time would raise questions about why it was being protected by four ordinary Casters. And there weren't just the

           Muna nodded in agreement. “Good point,' she said, crossing her legs and placing her chin in her hands.

           “What can we do here?” Muna asked, more to herself, and Yasmin looked over at her before lightly punching her twin sister in the shoulder. Really, it was a no-brainer, and she was surprised that no one else had immediately thought of it.

           “Why don't we just cast a glamour charm?” Yasmin asked, giggling. The silence at her question just made her laugh more.

           At this, everyone else couldn't help but laugh at themselves. It was such a simple solution that it made them all feel rather stupid for not coming up with it right away.

           “You know, sometimes I think that I'm the only smart one here,” Yasmin joked, and the others all gently hit her with pillows.

           “It's true, though!” Yasmin insisted, giggling. “None of you thought about the glamour charm until I said it!”

           Everyone laughed again and stopped. They couldn't really argue with that.

           “Okay, now that we all know that we're gonna cast a glamour on it, let's just do that!” Ayan said, wanting to get started on the spell and forget her mistake. She jumped out of her chair and waited for her sisters to do the same.

Layla nodded, and looked at her sisters, who all nodded, as well. Layla placed the Heart in the middle of the table and raised her hand, he sisters following suit. Layla took a quick breath as they all concentrated on the object in front of them, and Layla could feel energy burst from her.

And a bright light emanated from all of their hands as they cast the glamour spell to hide the Heart.

This spell was one that they had memorized countless times, and one that had helped them before when they needed to hide from embarrassing situations, or get out of class without being seen, in Yasmin’s case. It wasn't terribly difficult to cast; in fact, it was one of the most basic spells. But, like any other spell, it still required energy and complete concentration for it to work.

           The Heart glowed with the energy the Coven were pouring into the spell, making it levitate into the air slightly.

           Soon, the light began to dissipate, and the Heart slowly floated back to the table, where it sat, completely unscathed, after the light disappeared. Which was good, the Coven all thought, because sometimes, spells would leave scratches or marks on an object. And they all shuddered to think of what The Alliance, and Maryan, and their parents would do if they somehow ruined such an important magical artifact with even the tiniest of marks.

           “There! Now no one will ever know that it the Heart!” Ayan said, and Layla nodded.

“Yeah,” she replied.

           “And we’re sure that no one else can see it right?” Yasmin asked. The others all groaned, but she was right. Sometimes, the glamour charm was finicky and needed the mirror test to make absolutely sure that it had worked.

           “We can just test it!” Muna replied, looking over at the mirror in the room, and Layla look the Heart and walked over to the mirror and held the Heart out to it.

           Everything seemed to be in order; she could see herself and she didn’t look too bad, she thought, laughing to herself. There was one difference, though: the Heart wasn’t there. It was in her hand, but the mirror showed that her hand was empty. It was totally invisible, and Layla could feel a weight lift off her shoulders.

           Good, she thought. That was one thing that went right, and that made her feel much better. If the glamour charm worked, then that made things much easier for the Coven

Layla turned back to her sisters. “It’s hidden!” She cleared her throat, realizing her voice came out a bit louder than she had intended. “It’s hidden,” she corrected herself, or rather, her volume.

Yasmin nodded. “It’s not showing up?” she asked Layla.

Layla nodded, smiling. “It’s not showing up.”

Everyone breathed a sigh of relief at that. Luckily, this time the glamour charm seemed to be properly applied, and the Coven had nothing to worry about as far as this plan to keep it hidden from everyone except them.

Layla slowly placed the Heart around her neck. I guess I’m really taking the first shift on this, she thought to herself, resolute. Hopefully, the next day would go smoothly and she would be able to get through her turn at protecting the Heart relatively unscathed.

“Okay, now that that’s taken care of, I have an essay I have to finish,” Yasmin stood up and sighed irritably. Ayan and Muna laughed and began commiserating about how much essays sucked as they all left the living room, chatting and laughing about their school experiences.

Muna turned back and saw that Layla was still in the living room, back sitting in the chair she was in previously. She cleared her throat, and Layla jumped in surprise and looked at Muna.

“Aren’t you coming?” she asked, and Layla shook her head.

“Not yet! I’ll stay here for a bit!” Layla replied, and Muna nodded, turning and leaving.

Layla turned on the tv, still wondering about everything and barely paying attention to the program on at the moment. She still had a few concerns that she thought about idly, but she didn’t want to annoy her sisters, so she kept quiet.

Grabbing her phone, she started reading through the group chat she was in with her co workers, laughing at all the silliness. Combined with the background noise of the tv, scrolling through her phone made for a great distraction from everything.

Layla decided that she would worry about the Heart later. That dark, foreboding energy was still there, still hanging in the room, but Layla tried her best to ignore it. For now, she would relax and calm down. Everything would be fine. There was nothing to worry about.

Or so she hoped.

[raeynbowboi]

The Other Ships in My Fleet

So, I’ve already made a post talking about how I feel about certain ships in My Hero Academia, and another post about some of my other fandoms. Both posts got a lot of likes and reblogs, so I figured I’d talk about my ships from other fandoms. If this post also gets a lot of positive feedback, I’ll consider starting a second page to post my fan content for all of my fandoms, while still maintaining this one almost exclusively for My Hero Academia and Kiribaku specifically.

Klance (Keith x Lance) Voltron: Legendary Defender

I’m fully aware that this ship is probably not going to happen, but it’s really the only ship in the series that speaks to me. I will not lie, I am a big fan of dark and moody dating happy-go-lucky, and the rivals to friends to lovers element is just icing on the cake. It’s only further helped by Lance being Keith’s second-in-command. They help each other grow, and the trust that forms between them is cute and endearing. They also shared a major element to their characters. Both of them feel out of place, Keith because of his Galra heritage, and Lance because he doesn’t have a niche role.

Rabies/Rae x BB (Raven x Beast Boy) Teen Titans (2003)

While there wasn’t a lot of shipping fodder for these two in the 2003 iteration, the two are a canon couple in most versions of the teen titans, having been married in the comics (more than once, I think) so this is sort of a unique ship in that I ship it across every version of the two characters. Sporting a snarky moody goth and a lovable goofball, their dynamic was like that of an old married couple, or a moody teenager and her annoying little brother. Still, the two were good friends, and even though their personalities were polar opposites of each other, they had a lot of quiet, emotional moments together in the series. Whether you want to read them as friends or potential lovers, I think it’s hard to deny that there was a genuinely nice bond between the pair.

Garnet/Rupphire (Ruby x Sapphire) Steven Universe

As the show’s literal physical manifestation of love and a perfect relationship, it’s hard not to like the relationship between these two adorable lesbians. With the show sometimes being edited to remove the queer elements, it’s absolutely hysterical that they had the two get married in an episode very important to the plot, and put Ruby in the dress so that absolutely nobody could misinterpret her as a male. Editing it would only confuse viewers as to why everybody is in wedding attire, thus taking a very satisfying stance against censors and bigotry. Garnet also marks a first in children’s programming as the first same-sex wedding in a children’s animated show, at least as far as I’m aware.

Pearl x Mystery Girl Steven Unieverse

Although only featured in a single episode and having no dialogue, Mystery Girl (possibly named Sabina) is a very important element to Pearl’s character, being her first step toward moving on from Rose Quartz. There were fans that hoped that Mystery Girl would come back, but even if she doesn’t, she’s still important to Pearl’s character development.

Amedot (Amethyst x Peridot) Steven Universe

I know a lot of people prefer Lapidot, but frankly I find Lapis too selfish and cold-hearted to be ready for a relationship as she currently stands. I find Amethyst to be a better fit for Peridot, since they both share issues with their height. That, and the way the show frames them has romantic comedy tropes interwoven into their scenes. But even if they’re just friends, Amethyst’s approval means so much to Peridot.

Stevonnie (Steven Universe x Connie Maheswaren) Steven Universe

I’m not usually a fan of lead boy dates lead girl ships, as they tend to be very poorly done, and many feel forced, or are just boring and predictable. However, the bond between these two feels very genuine. They don’t feel like a lead boy and lead girl forced into a relationship at all. They come together very naturally, and the show takes its time to build their friendship up slowly. The show remembers that they’re kids first, friends second, jam buds third, and love interests last.

Tomstar (Tom Lucitor x Star Butterfly) Star Vs the Forces of Evil

Considering the show’s themes of monsters, racism, and not judging evil at face value, this ship serves as the most thematically poignant to the narrative that the show is setting up. It also makes Star a stronger parallel to her “evil” great great something grandmother, Eclipsa. Both are monster sympathizers with monster boyfriends. While the blood moon bonds complicate things, I see this ship as the most relevant to the themes and messages the show seems to want to send.

Tomco (Tom Lucitor x Marco Diaz) Star Vs the Forces of Evil

More of a joke/crack ship, I know it’s unlikely, but the entire episode of Friendenemies had romantic comedy written all over it. Between the literal in-universe break-up song to the show’s promotional art being inspired by dime store pulp romance novels fuel the fire that keeps this ship afloat.

Bumblebee/Bumbleby (Blake Belladonna x Yang Xiao Long) RWBY

Partners, teammates, and close friends, the ship really took off starting in season 2 during the episode “Burning the Candle”, as Blake spiraled into self-destructive habits due to obsessing over her problems. Nobody is able to get through to her until Yang comes in to talk to her. She doesn’t lecture her or beg her to stop. She instead forms a bridge of trust by first opening up about a similar situation she’s been in, and how she knows first hand that this sort of spiraling can only have negative impacts. They are shown to be parallels, as both girls are negatively effected by a loved one no longer in their life, and the trust issues that spring from that loved one’s actions. Yang was abandoned by her mother, a problem which she mentions Blake repeated. For Blake, it was the uncertainty of trusting someone’s character, and being afraid of someone slowly turning into someone else. She explicitly states in season 3 that her ex started off a nice guy, like Yang. The first time he hurt someone, there was a reason. There was always an excuse. Until eventually, she became the pardoner. The one excusing his actions. And, she expresses the fear that Yang could be following a similar path. Both girls have been hurt by someone in the past, and both girls are afraid of being hurt the same way again, and inadvertently hurt each other the same way as someone else has. It’s also known that RWBY characters tend to represent or be based on fairy tale characters. Yang is Goldilocks, and Blake is Beauty from Beauty and the Beast. However, based on the lyrics from Red Like Roses “Black the Beast descends from shadows, Yellow Beauty burns gold”, there seems to be an implication that Yang is the Beauty to Blake’s Beast. This is interestingly supported by Blake’s name. Blake is a Celtic name meaning both Black and White, and Belladonna literally means Beautiful Woman in Italian, but is also the name of a very poisonous plant often mistaken for the harmless blueberry. The duality of her name could be pointing to how she plays the dual role of both Beauty and Beast.

Seamonkeys (Sun Wukong x Neptune Vasilias) RWBY

A bit more of a crack ship, these two lovable idiots are far less likely to be canon, but since Sun is Yang’s main competition for Blake’s heart, I have no problem shipping him off elsewhere with his goofy best friend. Although they act more like usual best friends in the canon show, their relationship does have a much gayer tone in the less canon comedy show RWBY Chibi, where Neptune almost seems to act like a jealous clingy girlfriend a lot of the times. I doubt the ship would ever sail, but I mostly ship it because they’re cute together. Although, with season 6 just starting, I got the vibe that Sun was stepping aside to let Bumblebee sail uninhibited. Sun doesn’t really have a third popular ship, it’s just Black Sun and Seamonkeys, so this ship may be gaining validity in the future.

Gumlee (Marshall Lee x Prince Gumball) Adventure Time with Fiona and Cake

The male counterpart to Bubbline (Princess Bubblegum x Marceline), there’s no real difference between the two pairs other than their genders, and Gumball preferring baking while Bubblegum prefers science. Because they are effectively just gender-swapped clones of the canon ship, anything canonical between the girls is also technically canon with these two. It’s not that I don’t like Bubbline, but when given the choice between gay or lesbian versions of a couple, I’m going to be naturally inclined to lean toward the gay version.

Sasunaru/Narusasu (Sasuke Uchiha x Naruto Uzumaki) Naruto

Maybe there’s a cultural aspect I’m unaware of, but it’s a bit of a running gag in the Naruto fanbase at this point that Naruto is obsessed with Sasuke. So much so that he seems to care about him way beyond normal friendship. With how much these two obsess over one another, it’s no surprise why this became such a popular pairing. Their dynamic even dwarfed Hinata’s heartfelt confession of her love during the Pain Invasion Arc, because as soon as that ended, did Naruto go talk to Hinata? No, he immediately started thinking about Sasuke. Hinata definitely got the shaft in part II, which is a shame because I really loved her character.

Bob and Linda Belcher Bob’s Burgers

More of an honorable mention than a full on ship, I wanted to highlight them as one of adult animation’s only married couples that actually still like each other. In the wake of the popularity of the Simpsons, and the cementing of the genre with Family Guy, the stock dynamic of idiot husband and enraged but supportive wife became a recurring trope. Before long, every single animated sitcom-esque family fell into this very annoying cliche. So, finding a couple in adult animation that are not only married but still manage to show they love each other is amazing. Their marriage isn’t on the rocks, they find time to at least try and be romantic, and even when they have bets or are on opposing sides of something, the show never forgets that these two love each other at the end of the day.

Captain Swan (Killian “Hook” Jones x Emma Swan) Once Upon A Time

This relationship between Captain Hook and the daughter of Snow White and Prince Charming might sound odd on paper, but this couple is by far one of the healthiest relationships in the series. Both Hook and Emma come from broken lives, and together build themselves up to something stronger. In a melodrama surrounding fairy tales, both characters are surprisingly grounded, realistic, and skeptical cynics, a very stark contrast from the usual wide-eyed lovey-dovey couples Disney is known for. Emma’s tendency to put up walls and Killian’s tendency to always put himself first are both slowly broken down over time as Killian tries to tear down Emma’s walls and get to know her while she works on building a foundation of trust between them. The pairing feels very organic, and they definitely feel like the most realistic couple in the series as they both take turns stumbling and working toward being good for each other.

Rumbelle (Rumplestiltskin x Belle) Once Upon A Time

In the early seasons, this couple was beautiful to watch. I truly loved their chemistry and dynamic, as both of them were given such strong characteristics without simplifying either of them. However, as the show went on, it started to lose that power. The couple started to feel toxic as Belle kept waiting for Rumple to change, and he kept on lying and lying. It even reached a stopping point. A perfect one. Rumple was redeemed. He was a good man again. He could be the man Belle deserved. But instead, he slipped right back into his old ways. It was then that I fell off the band wagon for this ship. I loved it once, until I got sick of watching him hurt her over and over.

Daenerys Targaryen x Khal Drogo Game of Thrones

Although together only for a short while, this power couple won audiences over very quickly, as Drogo’s gruff but passionate affection mixed with Danny’s growing confidence and rise to power made these two iconic.

Renly Baratheon x Ser Loras Tyrell Game of Thrones

Another short-lived relationship, the remarkable thing is that Renly was literally the only character vying for the throne with fully good intentions for the realm. He was concerned with the needs of the people, and was the only morally good candidate in the War of Five Kings. Sadly, the ydidn’t get much screen time, but they were still a strong couple.

Peraltiago (Jake Peralta x Amy Santiago) Brooklyn 99

A rare exception to the don’t force the leads to date rule, the show let them form a bond over time that went from a friendly childish rivalry to a friendly dating rivalry. While each character experiences change and growth, it is not at the expense of their personalities, and the progression feels like it was meant to happen.

[manifestoonmoralmanlove]

Soulless Riffing: Brainless Epilogue

I got a supernatural action/romance book series as a gift that’s just riddled with stuff that I hate….and as a steampunk Victorian London action romance story filled with werewolves and vampires…it’s yeah gonna be easy to poke fun at.

I just want to say, it’s totally cool if you like this story or ones like it!  It’s certainly a better caliber than a lot of what I make fun of…however…I can’t help but want to make fun of it.

Over here for the 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7+8, 9, 10+11, 12, 13, and 14.

HERE’S THE FINAL CHAPTER, STRAP IN MY HEARTIES!

Epilogue

So, dang, this epilogue’s pace is the worst.  It’s so bad, if I recounted the events in the order they appeared I feel as if this riff would have a bad pace itself.  

So there’s this detached, braggadocios tone that describes two separate portions of the wedding in two totally separate parts of chapter.  I can boil it down to this actual quote, “The wedding was hailed as a masterpiece of social engineering and physical beauty.”

It starts off with almost an entire page of describing the dress.  I mean sure, but fashion isn’t my thing so my eyes glaze over.  Also that they had to redesign the dress at the last minute cause Maccon gave her a hickey that needed to be hid.  And I mean, isn’t that what we need to educate our young women about?

Man’s every careless sexual impulse needs to be catered to even if it greatly inconveniences everyone else. Why can’t you just cover it up with make-up?  Why is this adult novel treating a marriage of adults like a middle-school dance? WHO KNOoooOoOoooOooOOOWS?????

BUT THIS WAS ALL FOR THE BETTER cause the neckline of her dress inspired London’s fashion for a whole 3 weeks.  

Here’s an accurate attempt at me trying to understand this, “I guess it’s nice to have rich idiots incinerate and rebuild their wardrobe because of a thing you wore once.  But why stop there? I’d create an army of genderqueer flannel-babies out to hate read harmless fiction.”  Yes Faps, your interests are clearly superior to those who like to dress feminine.  Way to go!

We have a full page on the food which was more interesting but in a limited way because I have not had guinea fowl, aspic jelly, pigeons, sole, woodcock pie, pheasant, or grouse. But like, I’m not uncultured or anything! I’ve had alligator meat before! ….oh damn my American is showing real bad right now. DON’T MIND ME I’M JUST GOING TO HIDE BEHIND A WALL OF IMPERIALISTIC WAR CRIMES! But that’s okay cause the British can relate to that.

Personally I’d much rather the story brag about delicious food it’s likely the audience has had before, than just throwing out stuff that sounds period appropriate.  Cause honestly? My imagination does not think any of that would be tasty.   My dream wedding is definitely forcing near a thousand people (most of whom I’ve met only once) to pick at gamey meat and envy my dedication to an inconsiderate buffoon.

But before the wedding officially goes down we have the one and only nice scene.  Alexia wakes up Akeldama early so he can see the sunset before her wedding.  There was no reason for her to do it that day, since it made her late to her own wedding, but dangit it was nice.

However the actual wedding? Phew boy, there is no talk of the actual ceremony.  In fact there’s no cute speeches, dancing, bonding moments between friends or family, or even funny drama of the werewolves clashing with the humans.  I mean it would have been super annoying to have a scene where Alexia’s sister shrieks at one of the werewolves for drinking punch out of a bowl like a dog, and when she tries to rip it from him it spills all over herself.  Cause there’s no reason to cathartically enjoy seeing her sister humiliated but dang…it would have at least been SOMETHING ALMOST FUN!

Three things happened during the reception.

1.)    Alexia and Prof. Lyall hook Ivy up with some BARELY named servant to Maccon and Lyall. Like, you realize the trope of shacking up the side characters is supposed to be this cute little tying together of established characters, usually very different ones? Like it’s supposed to kinda help wrap things up by having separate parts of the story literally cum errr I mean come together.  Like, the obvious and decent choice, would have been Lyall and Ivy.  Hell if you needed Lyall for other nonsense, why not that Haverblink hunk guy Ivy was I THINK drooling over?  Took a fun trope and wasted it.

2.)    Alexia is ~gifted~ the Vampire hive servant Angelique.  Gosh I’m super looking forward to the part where Angelique realizes vampires are chumps and betrays them for the super cool Alexia.  I thought since she was named and pleading with Alexia for help earlier, she’d be damsel’d, or comes back later with more secret info, or was the villain mastermind AFTERALL! NOPE!  This human person with a name, hopes, fears, goals, thoughts, and emotions of her own is given like a decorative silverware basket as a GOD DAMN WEDDING GIFT! AND ALEXIA THINKS THAT’S FINE CAUSE TO HER HUMAN BEINGS ARE PROPERTY AND SHE’S OUR RACISM FIGHTING HERO! HOORAY!

3.)    Sorry to save the most tepid for last but the last thing of note is that Maccon’s werewolf pack, as part of werewolf tradition turn into wolves and just circle around them barking and howling….okay cool cool…but have you considered the more wolf thing to do would totally be for all of them to pee on her. ONE AT A TIME, THEY’RE CIVILIZED!  Her new husband gets all offended that she’s upset at this wholesome tradition.  Alexia secretly plots to bring supernatural genocide back into vogue again.

So on the carriage ride home they fuck but we have an entire book worth of build up for this scene to last 1 page.  Like, I wasn’t even looking forward to it but was still disappointed.  And, of course, this is one of those books that can’t directly mention SEX PARTS which SPOILER ALERT usually makes it confusing if you can’t be fucking straightforward.  Despite being all coy about it there’s the iffy phrase, “had Alexia squirming in such a way as to force the very tip of him inside her whether she willed it or no.”

Yeesh! As hot as you folks may find ravishment, it feels really out of place with a woman who’s supposed to be super horny and into her husband for it to still be written noncommittally like ravishment.

But with a lurch of the carriage he’s blamo balls deep and she says out loud that it hurts.  He DOES look worried and ask her if it still does. So kudos!  However there’s this infuriating line

“Something extremely odd and tingly was beginning to occur in her nether regions.”

Okay you weren’t aroused until he was balls deep, and we’re going to describe this as if a 26 year old woman (whom by the way has described being aroused by this man before, and describes being fascinated with her dad’s dirty books) is bamboozled that a dick in her made her horny.      

(Man looking confused and a bit suspect as he says okay.)

Also “It culminated in the most intriguing second heartbeat emerging around the area where he had impaled himself.”

WHAT!? YOU CAN’T SAY PUSSY BUT WE’RE GOING TO THROW THE WORD IMPALED IN THERE?

(Brittney Spears looking cringed out.)

That gives me the yikes.

She flops over after what sounds like 2 minutes of porking to remark, “Ooo,” said Alexia, fascinated, “it shrinks back down again.  The books didn’t detail that occurrence.”

OKAY 1ST OF ALL YOU LEGIT SAW THIS HAPPEN BEFORE WHEN YOU WERE DRY-HUMPING IN THE DUNGEON, BUT EVEN IF YOU HADN’T, WAS SHE UNDER SOME DELUSION THAT WHEN A DUDE GETS HIS 1ST BONER THAT’S JUST WHAT HIS DICK IS NOW?

YOU’D THINK CODPIECES WOULD STILL BE IN FASHION IF EVERY MAN IS SLINGING AROUND HIS ERECTION 100% OF THE TIME!

WHY ARE YOU SO FUCKING STUPID ALEXIA!?

If you wanted a cute little sexy thing to mention…why not, “Oh my dad’s books never mentioned that it throbbed! Or that it could twitch! Or that it got SO red! Or that it got THAT hard, it’s only full of blood afterall!”

LE SIGH!

So the story ends with the prospect of them gonna fuck sum more.

Say something Nice Faps:

I legit really liked that brief scene where she holds Lord Akeldama’s hand as they watch the sunrise, and he’s crying, and she’s got her head on his shoulder and just PRECIOUS!

Out of the things to brag about at a wedding, food is the top of my list, I can appreciate that she dedicated some time to it.

The sex had a bit of that ravishment flavor but Maccon does check in, and she admits she enjoys it.

IT’S OVER!

[timeisacephalopod]

Ball and Chain

So I read a thing a couple days ago that said a lot of IronStrange stuff is Tony centric, which is true for a lot of what I write too (seeing that Tony is my fav character) but I was like rude. So here’s a Stephen centric fluff piece that is inspired by me watching Say Yes To The Dress lmao. Also as usual with my writing Stephen is Asian (Nepali specifically).  (Fun Fact: Sushruta is the first doctor to have recorded a surgery, hence Stephen naming his dog that).

Stephen is sure Tony doesn’t mean anything by it and maybe he’s just used to being single, he’s been single most of his life so it’d make sense. But it just annoys him that Tony never says anything when people make jokes about his upcoming marriage to Stephen as some kind of evil trap meant to strip him of his freedom.

“I know it’s probably selfish,” Stephen tells Christine, “but its offensive to call me a prison to my face.” Tony always looks a little confused when people say it but he never actually says anything about it.

Christine frowns over her lunch, “actually that’s probably the least selfish thing you’ve requested of him,” she says.

“Alright, I know he’s afraid of dogs but I am not giving up my corgi! We’ve bonded,” he says. Accidentally because he’s never been a pet person but Wong had some puppies and decided Stephen’s place was a good place to get rid of one. In his defense after two hours Stephen finally understood that Brooklyn Nine Nine skit where Rosa claims she’d kill everyone in the room and then herself for the dog.

“Stephen, he was terrified of the dog and I told you I’d take it so you’d still see him and you told Tony to get over himself. You’re lucky he loves you because that was just insensitive,” she says.

“Well he likes the dog now,” Stephen mumbles in his defense. And by likes that mostly means Tony doesn’t run from the dog in terror anymore. Its not like the fear had been warranted anyways, Sushruta is harmless unless you’re a shoe.

Christine sighs, “because you forced him to deal with the dog instead of compromising. That was selfish when you had a viable solution to your problem and a terrified partner, but wanting Tony to point out that marrying you isn’t going to end his life or his freedom is pretty normal. I’ve always hated that, men treating marriage like its the end of the world when usually they’re the ones to ask. Besides, Tony doesn’t do anything he doesn’t want to- he’s pretty famous for that so the jokes are extra stupid,” she points out.

Stephen prickles a little, “women make those jokes too,” he says- he’s heard them. Stupid reporters, he’s never liked them. None of them can ever relay his research in a way that’s actually accurate. Scientific journalism is an absolutely horrible field given how it botches the findings ninety nine percent of the time. He and Tony have bonded over it and the fact that neither of them are any good at explaining their research in layman's terms. Though they disagree that an expert should be able to do that- the entire point of an expert is that they know things others don’t, not that they should be able to teach all. Only some people can do what he can anyways, and the only person who’s a step above Tony is a Wakandan princess. He thinks Tony should give himself more credit.

“Really, Stephen? I’d like to point out that women are always the nags, the balls and chains, and the gatekeepers to freedom. There are cake toppers with brides dragging their husbands to the wedding- so yeah, women make the jokes too but they’re also mostly the butt of them and its usually guys urging their friends to run away. Guess you got relegated to the role of woman,” she says.

Stephen makes an offended noise, “how the hell did that happen?” he asks. First of all the entire point of his and Tony’s relationship is that none of them are women so how’d he get stuck in that role? Tony is shorter. And cuter. “This is because I’m Asian, isn’t it?” he asks, squinting.

Christine snorts, “actually I think it might have more to do with Tony being a living embodiment of every white male power fantasy ever and his fans don’t want to give up that toxic stereotype, but I guess it could be racism,” she says, trying at least to give him some credit.

“Once a fan mailed him a bag of his own hair. I think the fact that his name was ‘Gary’ says everything you need to know,” Stephen says. “And I am not a woman nor am I enacting some convoluted plot to trap Tony with marriage. Does the public know about divorce?” That and Christine made a point when she said Tony doesn’t do anything he doesn’t want to. And he proposed. Stephen had been mad about it because he’d been planning to and then Tony ruined his carefully thought out plans. He even used the dog in the proposal and it was so sweet he cried and now Wong has pictures he’ll certainly use to blackmail him later.

“Good luck to you, I don’t think I could handle dating a celebrity let alone one that nets me stupid jokes about how marrying said celebrity will ruin his life,” Christine says, shaking her head.

*

Stephen didn’t even want to do this stupid interview but Tony insisted, then brought up the dog when Stephen stuff refused. He mostly only agreed because Tony pointed out he’d been afraid of his own house for weeks before he finally got used to the dog and even then Sushruta is the only dog he doesn’t hate. Turns out he’d nearly been eaten by a dog as a child and Stephen felt a little bad about forcing him to deal with the dog so fine, he’ll do the stupid interview and deal with the stupid jokes about Tony’s freedom like he didn’t walk into this engagement himself since he asked but whatever.

When the stupid reporter makes the dreaded joke Stephen rolls his eyes on cue, letting out an annoyed noise but its Tony’s reaction that catches the reporter’s attention. “You must be straight,” Tony says, catching Stephen’s attention with it too because what’s that got to do with it? Which is what the reporter asks. Tony snorts, “only someone who’s had the benefit of knowing their right to marry is never in question would ever make such a fucking stupid joke,” he says, irritation written all over his features.

Oh, good point actually. Stephen never considered that because he’s never really considered himself the marrying type. But then neither had Tony and here they both are, quite smitten with each other.

“I... uh... that’s not what I meant,” the reporter stumbles out and Stephen rolls his eyes again. Sure it wasn’t, but he doubts there will be an answer if he asks what was meant by the comment.

Tony rolls his eyes too but its much more theatrical than Stephen’s, impressive considering how dramatic Christine likes to remind him he is. Personally he doesn’t think he’s that dramatic at all. “Sorry, but I fail to see how people consistently insulting Stephen to his face by acting like being married to him is some kind of hardship I’m going to have to face can be anything less than bullshit perpetuated by a group of people who’ve taken their rights to relationships for granted. I’m marrying Stephen because I love him, and I’m excited to spend the rest of my life with him even if I have to put up with his stupid dog. If I wasn’t happy about marrying him than I wouldn’t have proposed because unlike the general public I don’t think marriage is supposed to be a prison where couples suffer. And it helps that he’s good in bed,” he adds and Stephen lets out a sharp laugh.

“Yes, that’s right, I’m quite a catch,” he says, nose in the air. “And Tony is alright too,” he adds almost as an afterthought. He really is though, and he’s patient with Stephen in a way he rarely gets from others. Christine has told him not to take it for granted but Stephen already knows he takes full advantage of Tony’s patience. But he does appreciate Tony, really appreciates him because they have an understanding with each other that most don’t. He understands Stephen’s arrogance and his fears and he’s always so willing to help him when he needs it. And he can see when Stephen needs it. No one else can.

He looks over at Tony and smiles, knowing his love is translated in the look and Tony smiles back, emotion radiating off his features too. Stephen straightens a little and faces the reporter, “also, the only ball and chain in our relationship is stupid media personal such as yourself following us around all day snapping pictures and making stupid comments,” he says.

Tony lets out a sharp laugh, “god, I love you,” he says, weaving his fingers through Stephen’s.

“Well,” he says, “you are lucky to have me.” And he’s so, so lucky to have Tony too but he’s not going to say that to the cameras. People, contrary to what they might like to think, are not privy to their relationship.

Bonus Scene:

Tony didn’t want to get married in a church, he’s a fucking atheist and Stephen is agnostic, but his parents whined and cried until Tony finally gave up. Stephen, who’s much more used to fighting with his parents, had been prepared to drag it out longer but at the rate things were going they’d have to push back the wedding date because Stephen’s parents are more stubborn than Tony and Stephen combined. Which is frankly terrifying.

But here he is in what he has to admit is a pretty church even if he doesn’t believe in the deity its build to worship with Stephen standing in front of him and his dumb dog sitting between them, tongue lolling out of his face. That thing is plotting their deaths, Tony knows it, but when it eats them alive Tony will tell Stephen he told him so. 

The priest or whatever, the fuck if Tony knows, he just wanted to marry Stephen in peace before his parents got involved, prattles on until he gets to the part where Tony is supposed to do the vow thing. Tony repeats the words in a mostly empty way, knowing Stephen won’t care that he has no real interest in a religious ceremony that’s only taking place because his parents threw an epic fit at least until the part where he’s supposed to honor and obey Stephen?

“O-what?” he asks, giving Stephen a look as his eyebrows fly up. “Honey if I don’t obey Pepper you have no chance. I’ll honor you just fine, but I’ll obey over my dead body,” he says.

Stephen throws his head back and laughs, “I had him throw it in there to shake things up a little, make it interesting because you know, these things are boring and I figured the audience might appreciate the show,” he says.

Off to the side Stephen’s parents cluck in disapproval, “just ruined his own wedding,” his mother mumbles but Stephen hears it- Tony swears he has super hearing.

“On the contrary, mother, I made my wedding about me rather than you. And you know, Tony,” he says almost like its an afterthought but it isn’t. The entire point of this stunt was to give him a voice in the ceremony he hadn’t wanted because, despite his outward arrogance and generally harsh personality, Stephen has a deep capacity to care and he always goes out of his way to make sure Tony feels appreciated. Even if that means screwing up his wedding ceremony and risking his parents’ wrath later.

[afterourhearts]

RETWEEEEEEET.

I didn’t like this movie at all. She’s half-Korean but there’s basically no difference between her and a full Caucasian girl besides that one scene where she drinks some Yakult... otherwise, no acknowledgement of her Korean heritage whatsoever. Granted, her Korean mom had passed away, but an Asian girl who completely disregards her Asian identity and only crushes on white guys (and one black guy) is a character who annoys me on so many levels. 

Couldn’t help but notice that my friends who are obsessed with this movie are the ones who are probably more whitewashed and themselves say stuff like, “I never like Asian men!” etc. etc. 

Look, I’m not saying that if you’re an Asian girl, you HAVE to like Asian men. We are allowed to have our own preferences. But I am saying that we should take a moment to consider why our preferences are what they are. It’s not inherently bad to think white guys are cuter or have better personalities or whatever else might draw you to consistently choose white guys first, but there IS a fine line between preferences and flat out racism that probably gets crossed more than we realize. Inadvertent racism is still racism.

Growing up, I admittedly only liked white guys. My elementary school journals are filled with details about crushes I had on solely white boys. I used to think my Asian-ness was ugly, which made me think Asian-ness in general is ugly, and of course that meant Asian guys are ugly. It wasn’t until late middle school/early high school that I started to reclaim my Asian identity and realize the horrifying brainwashing that had been happening as a direct result of growing up in a white-dominated nation where racism is not only real but thriving. And what came after this realization? Genuine crushes on ASIAN MEN and not just because “we can understand each other better” but also because of physical attractiveness. It’s like as I started to love myself more, I started to find beauty in other Asians as well, girls and guys. 

I would argue that many Asian girls who only pursue white guys/can’t find ANY Asian guys “cute” have a problem with finding Asian features beautiful which stems from a place of finding herself not beautiful enough. And that is heartbreaking. Will you be truly happy in a relationship where you get to date a white boy whose features you envy (consciously or subconsciously) while at the same time fail to resolve your own shame of the lesser attractive Asian features you possess? His fascination with your “exotic” ness might mitigate some of your insecurities for a moment, but will that really be enough? Is that a good marriage?

Not trying to make sweeping generalizations here or point fingers at interracial couples, especially when I’m in one myself. But very few of my friends in interracial relationships are the, “I exclusively date ___ race” types, which is so refreshing to me. We don’t discount a guy because he isn’t a certain race, and we don’t think white status is better than another racial status. But there are a few exceptions, and it’s these ones I’m concerned about. 

Maybe one or two people popped up in your head while you were reading this. Can you imagine trying to have a conversation with that person where y’all confront this issue? It’s hard to have that conversation and not offend the person somehow. You can’t exactly point a finger and be like, “I’ve got you all figured out. You self-hate and you white worship and that’s WRONG.” You’re making assumptions on so many levels and you will only hurt your friend by bringing all of this up. So what do you do? Accept that this is how they have chosen to live and make peace with that, even when this mentality is toxic and something you can’t make yourself respect?

If I knew the clear cut answer, I wouldn’t be here writing this and being confused. 

I have friends like this and it makes me sad. Friends who think white people are better even if they don’t outwardly admit it although some of them actually DO outwardly admit it.

I remember a jarring moment in 10th grade when I was sitting with 2 Asian girls and 1 White girl at lunch. This white girl was good friends with the other 2 Asian girls but I wasn’t very close to her. We started talking about how this one white guy only dated Asian girls, and the white girl chimes in and is like, “Well that’s because he can’t get any white girls so he has to resort to Asians. No offense. Haven’t you noticed all the white guys who date Asians are the weird and ugly ones that white girls would’t go for ever?” and then I watched in horror as the other 2 Asian girls laughed in agreement. One of the Asian girls was adopted by white parents. The other was fully Asian, and I don’t know why she laughed. Peer pressure, or true agreement? Either way, it made me sick to my stomach.

And there was another incident a couple years back where I met this white guy on Tinder and he asked me if I had ever been with a white guy [sexually] before and I said no and then he literally told me, “You’ll like my d*ck better, trust me.” 

Situations like these have made me realize that it’s not “harmless” for an Asian girl to express very strongly that she only likes white men. There is harm. There is harm to Asian men. There is harm to Asian women. And there is harm to the girl herself. A cycle of shame and hatred of others and of oneself. So on the one hand the part of me that hates conflict wants to just sit back and let people live their lives and be chill with it but on the other hand, it’s a disgusting ideology and I lose respect for those who live that way. I know I should be feeling empathy but I find myself irritated. I try to see where it comes from but it doesn’t justify the end results. 

I think ... we need to have these conversations, however difficult. Not in a let’s point fingers and name-call kind of way, but at least in a “broadly speaking” kind of context. Because even though many Asian girls have been able to find beauty in their own heritage, others are still embarrassed and ashamed, and that manifests itself in even more ugliness that not only harms themselves but others. You might not reach them via these conversations, but it might trigger some much needed self-reflection. And you might be able to find yourself capable of more empathy. I know I’ve had at least 2 Asian female friends who confessed to me that they DO realize they hate their Asian-ness and that it IS a struggle for them to find beauty in being Asian. Healing begins with recognition, right?

At the end of the day, I’m thankful that I grew out of my “white boys are dom” phase. I’m also thankful that things aren’t the other way around where I can ONLY consider Asian men as viable life partner options, because for a brief period in my life I was totally anti-non-Asian guys. If I had still remained in that mentality, I would’ve overlooked the most amazing guy ever - the one I’m with now :) It’s a learning process that I’m still actively engaged in. What my preferences are and more importantly, why they are my preferences. 

Lots to think about.

[anais-mitchell]

5 for salty ask??

5. Has fandom ever ruined a pairing for you?

Most definitely, and I know that can sound petty but it’s usually ones I don’t care about that get turned into hating. For example: I truly do not care about Raven/Jasper or Raven/Luna but the fact that they’re shipped 99% by Bllrke shippers who want Raven away from Bellamy has really turned me off of it. (Also, I was never a fan of Bllrke in general, but the fanbase definitely didn’t help.)

Harry/Hermione is a harmless ship but the broad implication I get from the fanbase is that Ginny and Ron are insufficient love interests which is ABSOLUTELY not true.

While I prefer Scira and Allisaac, I absolutely adoreee Scott/Allison, they’re beyond cute and I was devastated by the way they ended, but I almost never engage with their fandom as I’m really bothered by the constant Kira erasure/hate/blatant racism.

I wouldn’t say this ship has been ruined, but I definitely engage with Laurens/Hamilton a lot less due to the fandom being cringey and the Eliza erasure. (Not to say the Eliza/Hamilton fandom is perfect, I’m frequently annoyed by that fandom as well.) In my head Laurens/Hamilton exists primarily in @fourteenacross’s Ghosthunters series and I rarely engage with them outside of that anymore. (Hamilton ship fandoms in general are a bit of a nightmare. Honestly, I find the most pleasant fandom to be Hamilton/Angelica. Whoops.)

OH and June/Nick in The Handmaid’s Tale. I look at them and I want them to be together, but I can’t help but find it.... odd that there are people out there actively shipping in that fandom. I just feel like certain shows really don’t cultivate a fandom-y shipping vibe? Idk. I just engage with that show very differently than I do other shows.

That’s all I can think of off the top of my head! Thanks for asking ❤️

[mage-of-markarth]

35-45 (For the get to know my character)

35. Is your character afraid of death? If they got to choose how to die, how would they want to go?

Typically Aelith would say no. She’s not afraid of dying, but many people say that, however when the moment comes they’re terrified of it. If she got to choose she’d tell you it would be either in the thick of battle taking out as many darkspawn or the like as possible, or peacefully in her sleep.36. Does your character have any medical conditions? Are they serious or minor? Do they affect their day to day life?

Apart from terminal clumsiness? Thankfully she doesn’t

37. What are some of your character’s pet peeves? What are some things that annoy them or disgust them?

People thinking that because she’s so small that she can’t take care of herself, racism, bigotry, pretty much the usual stuff. Oh and she without a doubt hates the sound of Ancano’s voice, he just annoys her in general.

38. What kind of weather does your character like? Cloudy skies, rainy days, sunshine, etc?

She loves a warm spring day where the sky is clear and you see for miles. Where the sun is warm but not hot and a gentle breeze keeps the temperature just right. She does also love a good thunder storm too, those make her feel alive.

39. When people look at your character, is there some assumption they might make about them just by appearance? Is that assumption correct?

That she’s harmless and unable to look after herself. That one is so so very wrong. Her name is storm-caller and she lives up to it. She can also use weapons when her magic is down or depleted such as her bow and her duel blades. All in all you do not want to piss off this tiny redheaded part elf.

40. Does your OC have any guilty pleasures they enjoy? Hobbies, past times, music, etc that they wouldn’t want known by others?

She loves on occasion to wear very flouncy dresses, but only very flouncy ones and very occasionally. To all but the very closest to her she hates dresses with a passion.41. Does your character’s family affect your character in any way?

Other than in the way they shaped her outlook on life and how she interacts with people, not really. hey taught her to be kind and to give all a chance before going at them and teaching them a lesson.

42. Is there anything in your character’s past that they regret, haunts them, or they wish they could change?

That she had refused to take one group into a dwemer ruin. That expedition got half of them killed and almost killed her because they refused to listen to her. Given the chance to change it she’d definitely refuse to take them in.

43. Does your character have a switch that changes aspects of their personality whether they are around friends, family, etc. Is there someone who gets to see their true self?

Generally no, she’s herself with everyone she meets, although she does try to keep her temper hidden. She has quite a nasty one when she’s pushed.

44. Is there a particular event that would emotionally devastate your character?

Losing a child or the person she loves most would do that to her, otherwise I’m not really sure what would get to her like that. Maybe a mistake in healing causing a group of people to die?

45. Is your character the kind to hide their true emotions or do they wear their heart on their sleeve?

Her heart is most definitely on her sleeve. Aelith has never been one to hide her emotions in any way shape or form.

[bravagente]

hello dear mod, thank you for everything you do. i have a question i apologise if it's heavier than the tone on this blog. recently a popular italian blogger said that race in italy is racist&was a product of il ventennio. i am french&i understand that we in europe don't like to say the word 'race', but i just want to understand how the construct of racism in italy, especially with all the far right/macerata from an italian persepective. I did read amara lakhous. thanks for everything you do!

Hi! Sorry for the late answer, it’s just such a complex matter to talk about and I’m not entirely sure I have the right perspective to handle it properly both as a white woman and as someone who lives in a city where that’s still relatively not diverse. Plus I study languages so I’m not really in the area - I basically really wanted to do right by this and I hope I will.

Disclaimer: it is true that in Italy the very concept of race, at least the way we know and use it in English is racist and a product of the ventennio. Whichever its etimology and original denotation, the word race (razza) has been very clearly connotated since Fascism: if you say men have razze, you’re implying some men have a pure, superior razza and some don’t. Nowadays in Italian dogs and horses have razze, not people. So, usually, if someone uses ‘race’ in italian as opposed to, say, ethnicity (etnia, colore), you’ll be quite sure they’re racist. It’s not that just because people don’t use the word they can’t be racist, but it does say something about how hard it is for us to cope with the American concept of race and the discourse that follows. The paradox is Americans are rightly very sensitive and careful about what they call race, when from our pov they’re just seeing it all from an inherently racist perspective: there are whites and then there are “people of colour”, all of them. Basically, a white race and then all those other races. Again, all of them. We can’t quite wrap our head around it, especially since we don’t really have a concept of, say, “brown” people. Come over in August, we’ll all be brown. We like a tan. It’s just beyond us.

Moving on to racism. It is possibly the most divisive thing in Italy right now and any conversation about it will escalate quickly because a) no one ever admits to being racist b) not everyone necessarily knows they are, if they are. Like everywhere else, it’s not always glaring. It’s not always a “racist slurs” kind of thing. There are subtle forms of it even here and not just in the alt right: I believe many liberals are actually as racist as one gets, they just don’t show because they never deal with people of colour in the first place. I once interviewed an otherwise pretty decent man who told me immigrants today don’t actually come here willing to work and therefore should be sent back home, another one praised a city he visited because he saw no blacks selling stuff there. I think it speaks volumes on how complex this thing is getting: you can deal with assholes who are 100% assholes. You can ignore them and decide they’re not worth your time and energy. But when they’re half-decent it’s just disheartening and makes you wonder where we’re going. Another reason conversations about racism often won’t end well is they slip into politics and fascism is far from over. Even though more-or-less openly fascist parties didn’t do well at the latest elections, the winners (League and the Five Stars) are firmly anti-immigration, making it about law and order as any Trump of the world would.

Having said this, race as we discussed it might be rooted in Fascism, but is the same true for racism? It is and it isn’t. There’s evidence that sub-saharian Africans were of always discriminated against. We had our own slave markets we don’t learn much of in schools, and while it’d buy and sell people of any race black Africans were definitely amongst them. There’s recently been a lot of discourse about how (in)accurate Still Star-Crossed was, with someone arguing that Alessandro de’ Medici was just an example of a class of black nobles. I’m afraid that’s not true. If I’m referencing to this particular period of time it’s because Renaissance is a personal interest of mine: The Ugly Renaissance will offer information about racism against dark-skinned Africans in 15th-16th century Italy. While light skinned Africans were considered as white as any European, sub-Saharans were thought to be strong and valuable workers, but also “uncivilized simpletons who could never hope to occupy a position of parity with the white majority”. That was a long time ago, sure, but it was bound to remain embedded in people’s mindset. And it did in ways we’d think were behind us by now.

Now, subtle forms of racism aside, there are many racists of the in-your-face, insulting type, more and worse than I ever thought possible growing up. They’ve actually probably always been there, it’s just now they have the Internet so they feel somehow validated and it’s made them unashamed to be openly hateful and ignorant with the support of the right.

However I have to stress that there many, many many more, non-racists. When fascists parade in our streets, anti fascist marches will follow. There’s always a firm reaction, it’s just decency doesn’t make any noise and rarely makes it to the headlines. Anyway I’ll give a few pieces of news  encapsulating the two souls of Italy:  

Refugee drowns in Venice as people film on their phones and do nothing

Teenager saves black child from getting hit by a train in Milan

Mein Kumpf-owning man shoots black immigrants on sight

Italians protest against racism

Refugee killed in Fermo after defending his wife from slurs

1500 in march to commemorate him

Black man shot to death in Florence

Italians join black people in march to commemorate him

So there’s the bright side I guess, we are genuinely engaged and young people who actually read books know we’re a country with very diverse genes, owing much of our language and culture and even food to “others”. This matters deeply to me because I think othering is the root of most, if not all, issues in our societies. This is a cultural problem first and foremost and I actually believe that. We often speak of inclusiveness or tolerance, but these are all patronizing concepts to me. Who the hell do I think I am to include or “tolerate” someone? No, I have to know in my heart of hearts that “others” aren’t to fear.

Anyway, racism is definitely an issue that exists and that’s getting worse. I’ve personally come to conclude racist behaviours in Italy are caused  and fueled by three broader factors that often inform one another.

Ideology is the most glaring: most racists are unapologetic fascists and racism is mounting and growing together with a wave of nostalgia for Mussolini’s party. A lot of fascists obviously never lived under the Duce in the first place, but they have a misguided perception of the ventennio as a time of justice and order where trains would run in time and so on. Something you’ll hear from time to time is that the duce “ha fatto anche cose buone” (also did good things). To these people, the presence of black people or muslims goes hand-in-hand with crimes and chaos: they’ll rape women! They steal and murder! They’re drug dealers! The fact that these things are sometimes true because eventually a rapist or killer or drug dealer will statistically have to be black is irrelevant: if caught off guard they’ll admit to believing every racist stereotype out there.

Xenophobia is more nuanced. The reason I don’t necessarily associate xenophobia with racism is that, until just a few years ago, the most feared foreigners in Italy were the very white Romanians and even Albanians before them. The media are also to blame for the way headlines were worded and they still tend to, often unwillingly, magnify the one crime someone black commits as opposed to those commited by Italians. The Macerata episode was most probably “inspired” by the killing of a young girl cut into pieces by at least one Nigerian immigrant. What do you now, since the news spread every Nigerian person has become a public enemy. Another huge media-related problem is they’ve created an unjustified alarm on the refugee emergency, treating it as if more people than in the past were arriving in our country (they weren’t) and as if the situation was completely out of control (it isn’t, although it’s not easy either). Crime is just one thing, though: people are afraid because our times are scary and dangerous, there are no jobs and the welfare is dying. They are hoping the government will help them and fearing that we’re too many for it to be sustainable. There’s a common misconception for which every immigrant in Italy is being hosted in a hotel and given 30 euros per day while unemployed Italians don’t have any money to buy food: while you can argue that the immigrant will only get 3 of those 30 euros, Italians still live this as if those resources are being spent on foreigners as opposed to themselves because scapegoating is a human, if wrong, thing. Clearly this is turning into a war of the underprivilegeds that will only result in diffidence and hatred, and the staggering misinformation about black people being all but enslaved in some areas of out country isn’t helping.

Conservativism, finally, is a branch of ideology but it’s not necessarily related to actual racism (though it can be). There are some who are entirely cool with people of other ethnicities as long as they “don’t bother” them. They’re too culturally lazy to accept anything different than what they knew as children, they fear Christmas will be cancelled and they don’t want, say, mosques, because they hardly know what they even are. They’re usually the same people who are annoyed by vegans: probably harmless, but they certainly don’t help.

Again I hope this helps. I really tried to be clear and truthful and not offend anybody.

[travellerfromanantiqueland]

Mars: Courage and speaking truth to power, self control

@magickfromscratch

They forcefed us a million platitudes, Bible verses, parables and folk sayings attempting to keep us docile and obedient. The Bible verses encouraging us to fight the good fight and have courage in our hearts weren’t for me and the other “girls”; we were drilled on the Bible verses about being meek enough to inherit the Earth, as harmless as doves, wise enough in God to stay home and do as the God-appointed Man in Charge in our lives instructed us. We were taught to always be afraid, always be silent, and practice self-control not out of concern for the well-being of those we could hurt by lashing out, but out of self preservation, for as soon as we weak little girls fight back, we were assured we would be crushed mercilessly by men, by the world, or by God himself. The lies they told: “You only think you’re brave; someday someone will break your spirit and you’ll learn that you aren’t brave, and never will be. God puts authority figures in your life for a reason, and if you defy them, you defy God himself. Be meek and humble in every situation, always obey authority, even when it hurts you and others.”

The church in question was across the street from the middle school I attended; across the street on the other side of the school was the church where I was baptized at age 12. The homophobic pastor around whom I had noticed red flags (and was ignored when I tried to point them out to my mother) started a sermon with fear- and hate-mongering about Hell and the Apocalypse, gays and other degenerates, the “false prophets” of science and tolerance for other cultures. Me and my little sister, we hated and feared queers who believed in evolution, made eye contact and resisted the urge to laugh as our mother scolded us. The pastor became angry, stated that he wanted to cause some sort of spiritual moment he had been told about in pastor school, that he wanted everyone in the church to kneel at the open altar. He told his congregation “If you don’t come and kneel, you’re saying you don’t want no more of god”. I struggled not to visibly snarl at him, and when my younger brother shifted nervously as though to go kneel, I leaned over and shook my head at him. We were the only family in the church who didn’t break, and that was the only time I ever got my mother to agree that a church was dangerous enough that we could absolutely never return. (We later learned that this particular church had a history of covering up sexual assault on the Church bus; it had happened to the daughter of the family who originally recommended the Church to us. They never pressed charges; her pain, like the pain of every other girl I knew who was raped or sexually assaulted growing up, was kept an open secret for the sake of her church, family, and attacker’s reputations.) 

The pagan community will occasionally pretend to be less dogmatic and authoritarian than Christianity, but they are full of shit 9 times out of 10. Wiccan/New Age/eclectic types are far less likely to do this, but I have yet to see any self-proclaimed “serious, reconstructionist, historically accurate Polytheist” pagan group (official or otherwise) that does not pull at least some of the same bullshit. Krasskova is one of the loudest voices representing modern day polytheists, and I’m hoping her reputation precedes her enough that I won’t have to go find the particular quotes by her that sound like they would’ve been right at home in that pastor’s mouth. The kemetic community in particular, to which I primarily belong, has had a years-long issue with valuing “keeping the peace” over the kind of “chaos” that would be caused by both unofficial community leaders, and the actual modern day leader of the Kemetic Orthodoxy, actually enforcing a zero-tolerance standard for racism, transphobia, misogyny, and other bigoted and/or predatory behavior. I wrote a pretty long and pretty heated post about this recently that explains my views on the matter. Having the courage to rock the boat and stand up to authority figures, or even just the popular group narratives, is actively discouraged in online kemetic spaces, as well as most other pagan spaces (online and irl) I’ve encountered.

As an act of “Christ approved” teenage rebellion against a culture that was suffocating me, I became an adrenaline junkie as a prepubescent child, and then almost immediately at the onset of puberty, a juvenile delinquent, for most of my teen years. I narrowly escaped being sent to juvie and having a lifelong record (if not actually being maimed or killed) on numerous occasions. I developed self-harming behaviors and passive suicidality through engaging in risky behaviors. To this day I struggle with my temper, have really poor impulse control, and am still trying to unlearn toxic and abusive behaviors I adopted when I was being abused and neglected at home as well as rejected by my larger community (religious and otherwise). I have deep-seated issues with authority of all kinds (in a more enlightened and affluent environment, I likely would have been diagnosed and treated for ODD; as things are, I’ve gotten very little in the way of therapy, most shrinks seeming to prefer to just put me on more and more medications for “anxiety, agitation, insomnia and unstable moods”).

I assume I don’t have to go into the various specific ways this has caused me difficulty when doing anything at all in the astral, much less trying to work with or worship gods. The trauma and baggage I already had regarding all this was difficult enough for me and my patrons to work through; to have so much of the same toxicity thrown at me from the pagan community that advertised itself as a healing salve to Christian religious trauma? I’m pretty fucking annoyed about it, to say the least.

Worried look on the face of the ringside nurse At one, for once, with the universe Choked out Choked out, choked out, choked out I stretch and strain with all my might Drift off into the velvety arms of the night Kick and claw and scratch and bite Fire up the grill, everybody eats tonight Choked out No brakes down An endless dark incline Most of the boys Won't ever cross this line If they all want to die dead broke that's fine, that's fine Everybody's got their limits Nobody's found mine

[elijahmasters]

s’up y’all i’m andrew, the general consensus is that I’m chill but like all things, it depends on who you ask. this is tiny son eli. if you wanna check stuff out about him he’s got a stats page. Only things that are really important to know about him he’s a pure cinnimon roll with a good heart, very funny, and charming and prank happy and goofy and dorky but has asshole tendencies. up front that’s him.  i will put in more detail under the read more, but basically that’s it.  So yeah feel free to read if you’re into that & hit me up if you feel like it.

                                      some quick yet informative plot points & info

      — he’s a Masters.

comes from a family in the industry basically black royalty. his grandparents were actors, his parents are actors, his sisters are actresses, one of his brothers is in the hip-hop game, his cousins are snoop dogg & sasha banks, brandy, ray jay and daz dillinger. it’s all cool. he kinda doesn’t fuck with that life, couldn’t give a shit it’s just somethin’ to know. He’s the youngest of 6 kids, but the most vendictive, very protective of his family so if you hurt Eevee in any way, he will destroy you. if you’re dating or fucking his sister he’s gonna be real like what are your intentions, do i have to like you, i will kill you if you hurt her acting hard bullshit even though he’s not at all cause he’s ridiculous.

     — he is epileptic & has progressive hearing loss.

so epilepsy just means he is prone to seizures because of abnormal electrical activity in the brain and he’s been dealing with that his whole life. he hasn’t had a seizure since he was sixteen cause he takes his medicine and does what he needs to do and is fine so that’s not really a big thing it is what it is, but to add insult to injury he also has a progessive hearing loss. diagnosed 5 years ago. has been wearing hearing aids for about a year now. He can hear but has difficulty hearing distinguishing words during conversations, in areas with noisy or crowded circumstances, and high-frequency sounds. listens to tv and music pretty loudly. he’s learned sign language and copes pretty well with the fact that eventually, he won’t hear anything. depending on the location he might ask someone to speak a little louder and will call someone out if they’re shouting at him or overstimulating and talking at him like he’s a dumb baby child. he can hear you, he can read lips, don’t be extra or use it as an excuse to enforce microaggressions.

     — he’s a Mathematics Major, a pure soul & kind of a dick sometimes.

dude is smart, he gets really excited about math, he will use math pick up lines to flirt with people sometimes. he’s kind of a know-it-all which kinda runs in his family cause intelligence wise he does think he’s better than most people and won’t apologize for that ever. he’s really kind hearted and nice and adorable, but he’s also a petty asshole who will just not fuck with some people and we’re all just gonna live with that because no one is perfect and no one is nice all the time and he sure as shit doesn’t have to be it doesn’t make him fake or a phoney or putting on some nice guy act, he’s just got flaws son cause it’s nice to have well rounded characters.

    — he is unapologetically black.

i feel like i need to warn people cause for some reason y’all act surprised and i eventually end up getting bullshit anon messages about reverse racism or some shit or he ends up getting treated a certain way and i’m not here for so I gotta break it down. that doesn’t make him aggressive. that doesn’t make him hard. that doesn’t make him a thug or ghetto. that doesn’ mean he raps. that doesn’t make him mean or rude, or has an attitude when he’s correcting someone he’s a calm person, i mean he is kinda rude but it ain’t got nothin’ to do with the fact that he’s black, he just has asshole tendencies. all that means is he is proud of who he is, he has black boy joy and expresses it freely. please understand light skint or not he is a 6'0 black man, the rules of society are different for him than everyone else so if he makes the occational harmless white people joke, he’s not all that trusting, has a wall up, is cautious with shit and who he is around it’s not personal he just doesn’t wanna go to jail or worse because someone lied on him. also if your character is white or a non-black poc and uses AAVE (African American Vernacular English) he will get annoyed but not express it openly, definitely be passive aggressive as hell about it cause he’s petty as fuck. definitely look at your chara like they are stupid cause it’s called afican american vinacular english for a reason and he has a right to do that cause it’s black privilege.

[debbramulquin3-blog]

White Folks Believe That They Skin The Most Awful Racism.

Daily use a wheelchair can easily trigger this to come to be filthy and dingy. She uploaded a Year from the Well-maintained Person column that inspired me to create my own listing of cleaning as well as managing tasks for my condo. In fact, as I create this sentence, Bixby revitalized in a silent workplace no aiassistant2017.info less than four opportunities, and I have no concept why. Cleaning up antiques and showpieces is usually something discussed in between the customer and also the firm. My label to this blog post is actually nothing special merely sharing exactly how I chronicle images of my household, where I publish graphics, as well as create books. In this particular article, you will certainly get to know some exciting facts concerning your body system as well as the factor this requires water. On the 7th time the priest will review him a second opportunity; if the sore has faded as well as hasn't already spread out, the priest will declare him tidy-- it is actually a harmless rash. Also, I don't presume FIVE HUNDRED days of summertime is really regarding limerence. An ultimate keep in mind: I connected to both the White Property and also the Icahn Enterprises client connections department for remark over the weekend break yet have actually not acquired an action coming from either party back then of publication. When appearing in to making use of the foreclosure cleaning company as a way to maintain services going in a downturn, these are simply some from the concerns that I have actually been actually taking into consideration. That woulds a bunch of folks around to look after me. Until you end up being that annoying healthy person, who by really teaching their outlook on everybody & anyone that will listen closely, is attaining the precise opposite of your purpose, through turning others far from your lifestyle since a) they are trying to make a position on concept or even b) you are functioning in such as manner in which they are actually shut off the entire 'healthy and balanced & properly' tip just considering that it seems to be too 'preachy' and also 'outrageous'. It is actually a REALLY true problem; it is crippling; this takes control of your life; you'll over-analyze everything they pointed out or did til you can't say to dark from white; when because state, you're certainly not simply in a 'crush' (as my indifferent mother would point out with a shocking shrug), - you are actually ILL, addicted.

You don't possess a great deal of capital to play along with when you are just beginning a tiny organisation. Water is actually the largest single component from the body, including your human brain, and also this is vital forever. There are actually no documents from a break-in at or even near business he was actually walking from behind, neither a suspicious individual record, any type of type of record or even get in touch with that will presume cops to cease him. A ton of individuals believe I am actually terrible due to the fact that I married a dark male, yet let me tell you, I dated a bunch of white men before I encountered my husband and also not one from them could possibly hold a candle to him in mattress as well as I am actually certainly not self-conscious to confess. He cannot maintain his hands off me: I get considerable amounts of interest." I desired her luck with her infant as well as returned to the dining table. " Well-maintained property, crystal clear scalp" rings thus incredibly true along with me. As a person who is at a continual battle along with their anxiety, I am actually always looking for healthy and balanced, direct techniques to experience my psychological health and wellness head-on My entire lifestyle, I've been exactly what people jokingly contacted a "cool fan," a trait that I obtained truthfully coming from my mum. The statistic holds true, although dark folks are more likely to cope with emotional grief versus their white colored versions, dark individuals are actually much less probably to find aid when managing mental health problems.