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rrxnjun · 10 months

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where do broken hearts go? [lmk]

you know what they say about past lovers that can remain just as friends - either they're still in love with each other, or they never were in the first place.

pairing: mark lee x fem! reader

genre: exes to lovers. angst, fluff.

wc: 12k (11.926)

warnings: mention of sex, weed and alcohol, heartbreak, swearing, park jihoon of treasure is one sassy bitch and also accidentally somehow the main character of this fanfic plz dont @ me, inconsistent writing style bc i took 3 months and 3 depressive episodes to finish this fic

playlist: where do broken hearts go - one direction / too good to say goodbye - bruno mars / everytime - ariana grande / closer - waterparks / tornado warnings - sabrina carpenter / survive the night - the boyz

a/n: hey do some of you still remember me..... AHAHA tell a friend to tell a friend rrxnjun is BACK! this fic isn't the ideal vision i had in my mind but we are working on not being so hard on ourselves with our writing so! here we are. i still kind of like it :,)

When you walk up to your best friend’s apartment one day with a tub of ice cream under your arm and the biggest pout on your face, Park Jihoon makes a complete list of things you should do to get over your failed relationship with Mark Lee. And while you think your dear friend has some psychopathic tendencies sometimes, you’d say the list is actually pretty reasonable of him.

There’s something about the five simple steps that makes you wonder if it’s really as easy as Jihoon makes it sound. And while you doubt it– because the pinging pain in your heart makes it seem like the heartbreak is truly going to kill you in a few minutes if you don’t do something about it– you give it a try, because come on… you’d do anything to not feel like this ever again.

Step one – cry it out.

“He was a cunt anyway,” Jihoon mutters as he steps into the living room with two spoons in his hands, throwing one of them to you– while almost managing to hit you in the middle of your forehead in the process, adding a concussion to the mix of problems you have going on right now– and you find yourself furrowing your brows at his hateful comment.

“Why’d you say that?”

“Well, as your best friend, I’m supposed to be on your side, no?” he says as he takes a seat on the sofa next to you, watching as you wrap one of the thick blankets you got for the male around your figure– you bought it mainly for yourself, because his apartment is cold as a freezer and you knew he wouldn’t buy one for you to use in the first place– and shrugs. “Besides, he broke your heart, and any male who does that is a cunt in my eyes.”

“I broke up with him,” you mourn, “so I broke my own heart,” you snicker, despair fully filling you up from the inside– fitting everywhere into your lungs and choking you up from how bad you truly feel. Now, this isn’t your first breakup– you’ve had your fair share of boyfriends in high school (in your baddie era, as Jihoon called it), but Choi Yeonjun from Maths class and Jung Woonyoung, the guy you dated for a total of 2 months over the summer break before he moved away, weren’t exactly boys you found yourself falling in love with. Sure, you liked them, you kissed them and went on dates with them– hell, you even hooked up with Yeonjun once before you realized the relationship truly wasn’t for you– but no one managed to cave into your heart just as much as Mark Lee, your first college boyfriend did.

“But you sure had a reason for it, come on!” Jihoon huffs, taking the tub of ice cream from your hands and opening it for you, since you’ve gotten quite weak from the lack of sleep and nutritions ever since the break up, hands clammy and not cooperating. “You don’t just break up with someone to break your own heart. He did that, that’s why you said goodbye to him,” he says before sitting the enormous tub of ice cream between your two bodies, nudging you to dig into the frozen delicacy.

“Yeah, but–”

“No buts, young lady. We are here to make you forget you ever even dated Mark Lee, so open up, eat the ice cream and focus your attention on Titanic so you can finally cry it out,” he says, and by the tone of his voice, you’d think he’s angry with you. Jihoon has this aura around him that makes you think he’s always at least a little annoyed at everything– but he told you to not mind it and that it’s just his sassy bitch attitude.

He does have a point, though. You broke up with Mark because he broke your heart first– there was no other reason for it. If it was something minor, something small, you were sure you could work on it. You have, numerous of times before, brought up something and had a mature conversation about it– something you always so admired about Mark, being so cautious and understanding when navigating problems in the relationship– but when you bring up the same thing over and over, and it never gets fixed despite him telling you he’ll try harder next time, you think you’re allowed to feel a little heartbroken at his nonexistent efforts. And that’s exactly why you decided to quit the relationship– after a while, you felt like you were putting in more effort than he was, effectively making you feel like he’s not even that interested in dating you in the first place.

First, he just told you he was forgetful. He forgot he promised to pick you up from class one day– and you said that it’s okay, he is busy, after all– and it was the first time it happened, so you didn’t really mind that much, truly. Then, he forgot about the date you scheduled– but it was fine, because you didn’t have reservations anyway, you could change the day to any other day of the week, after all. He kept forgetting the stuff you told him in between the conversations you shared– and it was small things, you understand, but sometimes, you wondered if he was ever really listening to you at all.

Forgetful soon turns not interested in your eyes, and when he doesn’t call you in the evening like he promised he would, when he doesn’t show up to the party you invited him to, because he forgot it was that day, you’re one step closer to calling it quits, because each and every one of these situations sends a sharp pain into your stomach. The last straw was just last week, though– and realistically, it was an important day, as much that you thought the day is somehow gonna fix everything, but the truth is somewhere completely else as Mark Lee forgets about your one year anniversary and never shows up at your doorstep for the dinner you prepared for the two of you like he promised he would.

And it doesn’t click in him two days after either– you don’t even get a text. He got so forgetful over time that he forgot about you completely, and that’s when you took an uber to his place and broke up with him for good.

And even though the breakup was the most painful thing you’ve ever felt yourself go through, Jihoon is right– you’re not the one that broke your own heart. Mark Lee did that for you many times before, and this was just the breaking point.

“Fucking hell, you bought cookies and cream again?” Jihoon huffs when he takes another spoonful of the ice cream into his mouth, eyebrows furrowing at the sweet taste. Looking at him from the corner of your eye, you wipe your left cheek as you hum, immune to his nagging by now.

“You know I hate cookies and cream!”

“You know, Hoon, I bought this for myself. When you’re the one that’s heartbroken, we’ll share your favorite ice cream flavor instead,” you mumble, munching on the coldness on your tongue, sniffling a little when your eyes avert to the TV screen.

And after that, the teasing from your best friend’s side stops. Maybe it’s just because he hates to see you cry– and he rarely gets the chance, if you’re being honest, since you’re pretty good at handling your emotions– but you secretly know that it’s because when he looks back at the TV screen in front of the two of you, the sad part of the movie hasn’t even started yet and the tears are not the result of the movie, but of your own thoughts instead.

Step two – give him back all of his stuff and the stuff he’s given you that reminds you of him. Demand that he does the same.

Now, step two was a thing most couples do when they break up. Realistically, it makes sense– you wouldn’t want stuff that’s not yours just laying around, and also, it’s just bound to remind you of the person you lost. Naturally, you’d want to return it.

“Why does he have to return my things as well?” you mutter under your breath as Jihoon helps you fold all Mark’s hoodies into a cardboard box, alongside with wrapping the little things your ex boyfriend made out of ceramic for you in tissue paper like you asked him to– even though he complained and said that it shouldn’t matter to you if they break, because you are the heartbroken one– but you held those little things too close to your heart to let them get damaged in the first place.

“Because that’s how it works,” Jihoon hums, watching as you throw another one of Mark’s shirts onto the top of his head, shielding his vision. “What, you don’t want your stuff back?”

“I mean…” you mumble, deeply considering of the fact that the thought of getting your stuff back didn’t even cross your mind until now, before you realize your favorite pair of socks is thrown somewhere in Mark’s drawers– the blue ones with peaches on them– and you suddenly have the revelation that while you don’t necessarily need the stuff back, you’d love to wear those socks again. “I guess…” you note as you walk over to Jihoon and take a glance into the full cardboard box, looking over the stuff and chewing on the inside of your cheek.

“It’s like witchcraft, y’know,” Jihoon points out, looking at you with fierce eyes mirroring the stupid idea that just flashed through his brain, “if you don’t exchange the things, a piece of you is still kept at his apartment and you won’t be able to move on.”

And again, Park Jihoon does have psychopathic tendencies, but he may be onto something here. So you listen to him as you nod along and close the cardboard box, ready to drive over to Mark Lee’s apartment and drop off the things you’ve collected from him for the past year. The box includes all of the clothes messily scattered across your drawers and your closet, the picture frame of you two together that you always had on your night stand, the ceramic bowls and a little tiger sculpture he made for you when he took a pottery class with his friend Renjun, and the lost guitar pics you found under your bed and at the very top of your bookshelf from when he used to bring his guitar along and play you songs on rainy afternoons. The only things of Mark’s that you kept were the love letter he gave you for your birthday and the USB with his cover of Justin Bieber’s Off my face on it that he shyly gifted to you on one of your dates; but you would never tell Jihoon that in fear of him getting rid of those most precious memories for you.

It’s good to let go, but you don’t think you’re wrong for wanting to keep something to remind you of the good times. The times you still felt loved by Mark.

“Off we go,” you say, standing up and bringing the box towards your front door, your best friend at your feet. He promised to drive you to Mark’s place– you think he’s worried about you meeting your ex-boyfriend face to face for the first time since the break up, but he said it’s because you’re too broke to Uber all the time, efficiently throwing all the considerate thoughts you were accrediting him out the window– and after a few minutes of the drive, you find yourself standing on the doorstep of Mark Lee's apartment.

Taking a deep breath in and out, almost chickening out with the flood of thoughts and excuses you could say to Jihoon when you come back to his car with the box still in your hands– sayings like “he wasn’t home” or “he didn’t want those back”, the latter stupider than the first– you decide to face your problems head-on and finally knock on the mahogany door, waiting for Mark to answer. And he does– of course he does, because he’s always home, and as his ex-girlfriend of one year, you're painfully aware of the fact– but when that happens, you feel your heart falling all the way down to your stomach, crushing you and suddenly making it hard for you to breathe.

“Um… hi,” he greets you, voice a little groggy, as if he hasn’t spoken in a while– and when you meet his eyes, the deep chocolate orbs you always found yourself admiring and writing silent odes to in your head, you quickly glance away in fear of staring into them for too long and making decisions you wouldn’t like to make.

“Hi,” you awkwardly greet back, clearing your throat and moving a little in your place, shifting the weight from one foot to the other. You're surprised you're able to keep up with the conversation, thoughts running in your brain faster than you can comprehend them, heartbeat ringing in your ears from the unexpected anxiety. Maybe Jihoon was right and you should've taken a shot before coming here– at least you'd have more courage and social skills clearly needed for this kind of interaction. “I… brought you back your things,” you say, finally looking up at the male and chewing on your lips, letting out an awkward, tense laugh when he stares at you with an empty look, “figured you’d want them back,” you add, watching as the male opens his mouth and closes it in what seems to be shock before he presses his lips tightly together and nods at you.

“Uh, yeah,” he says, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly as he watches you clumsily hold up the cardboard box to him, ready to leave his stuff there with him and escape as fast as you can, not really minding how you'll get back to Jihoon's car– if jumping down the window of the entrance hall is the fastest option, you're ready to get to it. The truth is, everything is starting to get a little too hard to bear– his familiar scent filling your nose, the hoodie he wore to your first date enveloping his figure, his messy hair reminding you of the many times you brushed your fingers through it in attempts to smooth it down. It’s only been two weeks since you last saw him, but it was starting to feel as if you forgot about him already and were now relearning all the things you once fell in love with again, looking at him in the same light, yet noticing him and all the small details a little bit differently. “Thanks, I… I actually, uh… I have your stuff here too, so if you want it back I’ll– I can just–”

“Y-yeah,” you nod, almost a little too eagerly, “that would be… cool,” you say, trying hard to ignore the fact that he had your stuff packed too, intending to give it to you, and the crashing reality that comes with it, telling you he was prepared to do this before you were and how it’s making you feel kind of shitty.

Mark moves further into the apartment, the sound of him dropping the box to the floor filling your ears before he’s back at the door in no time, a similar cardboard box in his hands that he offers to you with a tense smile on his face. “Wanted to bring it around so I had an excuse to see you, but you, uh… beat me to it, I guess…”

Looking at him as you take the box out of his hands, gaze as if to tell him not to say such words to you when you’re still so fragile to his effect, you only nod and mutter out a simple “Thanks,” before you turn on your heel and intend to take the stairs back down.

“I’ll… see you around, then?” Mark calls after you as you take the first step out– something about it making you feel like it’s the first step out of his life, in a way– and you only nod, because one, you truly don’t know how else to reply to this question, and two, you really, really don’t know if you’ll ever see him again, but you can't bring yourself to say it to his face. Somehow, it would feel like torture to admit it– and you're not prepared for that reality just yet.

Rushing outside and getting into Jihoon's car, you almost feel like you’re on the verge of breaking, and when the male asks you how it went as he’s reversing out of the parking lot, you only bid him a one-word reply before you look through the box on your way home, too impatient to stay back from the memories.

And Jihoon didn’t really think this one through, because the fact that you gave Mark back the things that reminded you of him meant that he did the same, and now all the things you brought along to Mark’s apartment were in the cardboard box, all stained with countless memories and feelings attached to each and every single thing. The artwork you made for him, the little heart-shaped keychain you gave him for his birthday, the plant you gave him that was now long dead and dried out– those were once your stuff, but all in this world with the intention of love being sent out through them to your now ex-lover, and the fact that they’re in your possession again instead of his is not making letting go of Mark any easier.

And maybe Mark was right and he truly was forgetful, because as you rummage through the contains of the box, while you find out your favorite blue socks are nowhere to be seen, surely still buried somewhere in the drawers of his closet, obliterated out of his memory, there’s a gray hoodie sitting at the bottom and it’s surely not yours– it’s his and it was always your favorite, and you always used to wear it at his place when you got cold or when you just really wanted to smell his cologne, and you suddenly don't know if it's presence in the box slipped his mind or if he truly left it there on purpose.

Couldn’t he forget about that too?

Step three – block his number.

The third step comes into place after you accidentally slip out to Jihoon about the phone call you get on a Friday night– more like two hours into Saturday already– and now, most of all, you must admit that your best friend might be right about his advice.

Your phone starts ringing at 2:11 AM, and while you weren’t sleeping– you’ve been having some trouble with dozing off without being overbeared with thoughts lately– the name flashing on your screen shocks you for more reasons than one.

Mark Lee calls you, three weeks after your breakup, in the middle of the night. You haven’t spoken since the time he gave you back your stuff, and even though you’ve done quite a bit of stalking on his social media, you have no news of him or his whereabouts. Naturally, a call from him in the middle of the night startles you and shakes you to the core. He has no reason to call you, so your brain does the math and concludes there must be an emergency– and god knows that even after being hurt by him, you could never ignore him and leave him hanging in a state of need.

So you pick up– with shaky hands and a raging heartbeat, expecting the worst. Listening to the other side of the line, you take a deep breath in and out, bracing yourself for the impact of the words you’re going to hear. The voice on the other side is laced with haziness and his tone is almost a little tired– worn out, even– when he finally greets you from wherever he is.

“Hi,” Mark says, and for a second, your heartbeat steadies itself and the world stops spinning– he sounds okay, and for a moment, you’re grateful to hear his voice.

Humming, as if to collect your thoughts, you clear your throat before you offer him an answer. “Hello,” you greet, “what’s- what’s up?”

“Just wanted to hear your voice,” he says, almost a little abruptly to your question. He doesn't overthink his answer and he doesn't give himself time to think if it's a good idea or not– he just blurts it out and now it's your problem to deal with, when it's there, out in the open. Your palms get sweaty and you start to lose feeling in your fingertips, making you take a few seconds to yourself to process the situation before you decide to finally answer to the strange sentence.

“It’s late, Mark,” you mumble, and you involuntarily wonder if the sentence doesn’t have double meaning– it's too late for anyone to call at this hour, and at the same time, it’s been weeks since your ex boyfriend lost the privilege of listening to your voice when he can’t sleep in the middle of the night whenever he feels like it– and it’s now too late to do anything about it or make it any easier to deal with.

“Shit, sorry,” he chuckles to himself, and you suddenly recognise the laziness in his voice to be the effect of his and his best friend Hyuck’s Friday endeavors; the sweet coating of his voice being the effect of none other than the momentary bliss that comes with the relaxation of his body and mind when he's high. “Didn’t realize,” he concludes, making you shake your head at him in disbelief– not really mattering that he can’t see you in the act.

“‘s okay,” you mumble– and in your perfect reality, you hang up the phone now. In your perfect reality, you connect it to your charger and close your eyes, calling it a night. You fall asleep with no thoughts rummaging through your brain and wake up in the morning to a new sunny day, ready to take on the responsibilities of what’s to come, having productive days ended with smiles and a hot dinner you make for yourself just because you feel like it. In your perfect reality, you protect your own heart. This is not your perfect reality, though– and that’s why you stay on the line, listening to Mark ramble on the other side of the phone, intoxicated and slightly out of it. You wonder if he’ll remember calling you when he wakes up tomorrow. You wonder if he’ll regret it, or if he’ll just shrug his shoulders at the fact and go on with his day, not really paying you much thought when he’s sober.

“I was with Hyuck just now,” he says, and you hear the rustling of his sheets on the other side of the line, making you wonder if he’s washed up and ready for bed, “and– and I remembered how we all used to hang out together, y’know… you with us all– you always clicked with my friends and it was so cool and stuff… and I realized, right, they’re not as funny when you’re not around… but anyways… Jeno’s girlfriend asked about you, ‘cause she didn’t know…and telling her felt so silly, ‘cause they all kept looking at me and I knew they were pitying me, but it was my fault in the first place–”

“Mark–”

“No, it’s true. And it’s cool, I don’t– I don’t blame you, or anything. I just… I dunno, I guess it got me wondering…”

The line goes silent on the other side, and you settle into your own bed, giving him time to continue. When he doesn’t say anything for a long time, you wonder if he’s fallen asleep.

“Mark?”

“Hm?”

“You still there?”

“Yeah. How was your day?” he asks, tone of voice casual as ever, as if he’s forgotten about all the words he’s told you up until now– as if it’s not 2 AM and both of your hearts aren’t breaking at the sound of each other’s voice on the other side of the line.

“It… it was okay, I guess,” you say nonetheless, too hopeless to find a way to end the conversation before he does.

“That’s good to hear,” he says, sighing, “that’s… awesome. You still taking those yoga classes on Mondays?” he asks, and you snicker to yourself– because what kind of question even is that? Who asks that on a late night call, when there are more important things you two need to talk about?

“Yeah,” you lie, still. You haven’t been since the breakup.

“That’s great. Wouldn’t want you to… y’know,” he laughs to himself, “be too sad over this… ‘t was for the better, after all.”

You hear yourself hum– the noise way more stable than your actual words ever could be– and you find yourself feeling silly in the conversation, lying to your ex boyfriend through your teeth; because at the end of the day, you don’t want him to worry about you– because it seems to be the case that he is. And it’s stupid, because he hurt you and you shouldn’t care, maybe you should’ve even show him that you’re heartbroken and that he is the reason behind your pain and the way your life is falling apart, bit by bit, but you don’t find it in you to be so cold and heartless. At the end of the day, you still care about Mark and there’s nothing you could do about it. Turns out that breaking up with him doesn’t magically make the feelings go away– and you knew that, but now you have proof.

“What were you saying before, by the way? You… trailed off at the end,” you say, reminding him of his previous words.

“Oh, that,” he snickers into the microphone again, a heavy sigh escaping his lips as he twists and turns in the sheets, “don’t worry about it. It was selfish of me.”

It was selfish of him to call in the first place. But you won’t tell him that.

“What was it?”

“It’s just… I was wondering if I lost you forever, y’know… if there was a chance we could ever…” he trails off again, but this time, you don’t bug him to complete it. You’re not stupid– you know the implication of his words. You’ve known him for a long time, after all– maybe you should’ve predicted this when you picked up the call.

“I mean…” you hum, “you didn’t lose me completely, if that’s– if that’s what’s keeping you up at night. We’re still friends, aren’t we?” you say, and in the corner of your brain, you can’t even believe the words yourself– but if it was selfish of him to call, you think it’s okay for you to selfishly fill both of you with empty promises, just for the sake of not breaking your heart even further.

“Yeah,” he mumbles, “that’s– …I’m glad.”

The line’s silent after that, and you wonder if you two have used up the list of words to say to each other this time, if there’s truly no other answer at the end of this conversation. When the situation gets too much for you to bear, the heaviness finally settling on your shoulders and your chest, you finally find the courage to sniffle out a quiet goodbye.

“Good night, Mark.”

“G’night,” he drags out, mind still cloudy. “Love you,” spills out from his tongue, like a bad habit.

He ends the call before you get to say it back. Maybe that’s for the better.

And the truth is, you should’ve really listened to Park Jihoon and blocked Mark’s number after this encounter. But you didn’t– you’re too weak for Mark’s sweet words, finding yourself still hanging on to his saccharine voice and the muffled ramble he has reserved for you only every time he gets high and loses all self-control before calling you on Friday nights selfishly demanding your attention, somehow falling for him like a teenager over and over again despite promising yourself you're gonna move on for real now.

Step four – date someone new.

“So…” Jihoon starts one day, eyes glued to your skull like laser beams, the tone of his voice so incomprehensible you think he’s going to scold you for the actions of your previous days– even though you haven't told him about the midnight calls with Mark and so if he's not going through your phone, he has no way of knowing. Tense and nervous, still, knowing that the impact of his words could either heal you or cut you open like a knife– damn him for always being so brutally honest, no matter how soft his heart is for you– you smile at him with tight lips, crossing your arms on your chest in defense.

“So…?”

A nervous laugh almost escapes your throat. If Jihoon wasn’t suspicious of you before, he surely is now– or he just finds you strange by the way he furrows his brows at you and scans you up and down, taking a second for himself before he sighs and seemingly decides to drop the weird way you’re acting right now, shaking his head and focusing on the task at hand.

“I was thinking… my friend asked about you,” he says, nonchalantly looking down onto his hands and taking the dirt out from behind his nails, as if it’s not a big deal and he doesn’t even care that much. “Choi Hyunsuk from Biology, you know him– shabby haircut, kinda short, failed the class so he has to retake it this year…?”

“I think you’re forgetting the fact that the two of us have completely different majors, Hoonie,” you sweetly smile at him with irony, making him roll his eyes with a sigh before he tries again.

“The guy who ripped his pants at Xiao Dejun’s party last year?”

“Oh, that one! You should’ve said that earlier, of course I remember Choi Hyunsuk from your Biology class,” you nod hurriedly, the gears finally clicking in your brain.

“As if I wasn’t talking about him for the last few minutes–”

“Okay, and what about him?” you cut him off, already tired of his annoying tangent.

“I said he asked about you.”

“I heard that already,” you nod, looking at him with expecting eyes. “And?”

Jihoon stares at you, unblinking, as if you fell on your head and he’s trying to comprehend if you’re still here with him or if you got a concussion and need to be transferred into a hospital. When the contact of his eyes on your skin gets a bit too uncomfortable– you swear his looks could actually kill someone, if he tried enough– you furrow your brows at him in confusion and shake your head in disbelief.

“Why are you staring at me like that, Park Jihoon?”

“Just tryna see if you’re really that stupid or if you’re just pretending,” he mutters under his nose before he sighs again– his favorite activity whenever you’re around, it seems– and speaks up again, tone of voice reminding you of a kindergartener teacher trying to explain why it gets dark in the evening to a bunch of 4 year olds. “You know, when people ask about you, they are usually interested in you, as in, my friend Hyunsuk didn’t ask because you’re nice, but because you’re hot, if you know what I'm getting onto.”

“Oh,” you get out, eyes wide in concern and a little shaken-up, “well, that’s… nice of him, I guess.”

Jihoon only hums at you before he looks around himself and brings out the bag of chips that he left open by his right side only a few seconds ago, not really speaking more about the topic. It’s either he’s waiting for you to get what he’s hinting at, or he’s just waiting for you to get even more confused and ask him about it in a few seconds again– either way, he’s not the one doing more talking right now, because conversations with you, the most oblivious person he’s ever seen, are never productive if he goes too fast.

Chewing on the chips, his eyes go wide when you finally open your mouth and talk more about the topic at hand– just like he predicted. “Why are you telling me this?”

Your best friend swallows before he places the bag of chips back to its original place and turns his whole body so he’s facing you, speaking up again. “I was thinking that maybe, just maybe, you’d like to hang out with him. Like a date, before you ask– because I know you’re gonna ask– and why? – because, again, I know you’re gonna ask– because I simply think you should try to date again to get your mind off the loser you broke up with two months ago,” he says, blunt and honest, answering all of your unsaid questions at once, and before you know it, he has you snickering and shaking your head in disapproval.

“Absolutely not,” you retort, waving your hands in the air to only further show your disagreement with the proposition, “that would just be a massive catastrophe.”

“Why? Hyunsuk’s nice.”

“I didn’t say he isn’t, it’s just…”

“Just?” he probes you, eyebrows raised and questioning.

“I… don’t know,” you nervously chew on the inside of your cheek, aimlessly shrugging. “I just don’t think it’s a good idea, Jihoon.”

“Because of Mark?” he asks, and the moment his name escapes your best friend’s mouth, the whole room goes strangely quiet– you feel your heartbeat in your throat, the tips of your fingers start tingling and you swear that if you concentrate hard enough, you could feel a bead of sweat drip down your forehead with the incoming stress and nerves only the mention of your ex boyfriend brings you.

“No, that’s not it–”

“Sure,” he nods, sighing to himself– and there it is again, the judging look you so despise.

“You can’t just expect me to date other people a few weeks after my break up, Jihoon,” you exclaim, “that– that wouldn’t even be fair to your friend. You know I wouldn’t be invested,” you explain, and your friend rolls his eyes in frustration, sighing to himself.

“Oh but I know that! And Hyunsuk does too,” he shakes his head at you, “just thought the company of someone else could take your mind off things.”

“I have you,” you try.

“Yeah, but all we do when we’re together is mope about Mark Lee,” Jihoon snickers, “and don’t get me wrong, I’m more than open to bitch about your ex boyfriend and as your best friend, I don’t mind, but the fact that you’d be hanging out with someone else could take your mind off him, because you wouldn’t feel comfortable talking about him with someone else, y’know?”

You shut your eyes closed, a heavy sigh heaving out of your body as you try hard to concentrate and not lose it, and with how Jihoon’s tone gets softer and he’s not as loud with his brutal, yet logical advice, he must feel you getting overwhelmed and accommodates to your needs. “Look, it’s gonna be fun. I promise. Hang out with someone new, feel wanted and hot and pretty again, get some male attention that’s not your ex boyfriend, and you’ll see how it makes you feel. If you hate it, you hate it and you can slap me, I don’t know... If you don’t, you can keep dating around with my friends, and I swear I’ll hook you up only with the nice ones,” he takes your hand into his and waves it around in comfort, making you open your eyes and look at him again.

Seeing the softness and encouragement in your best friend’s eyes, you sigh to yourself. All this time, he’s tried to help you– what if you finally follow his advice? Who knows, it might even help.

Sighing, you squeeze his palm and hover over him to get the stranded bag of chips he’s guarding on the other side of the sofa. “Fine,” you mutter, “but let your friend know that he’s the one paying, okay?”

“Perfect. I'll text him your number, then.“

And maybe Jihoon was right and after dolling yourself up and dressing up in your favorite dress just so you would feel as comfortable as possible, you don’t feel as bad when his friend Hyunsuk picks you up in his white Volvo and chats with you on the way to the restaurant. He makes good small talk and even gets a giggle out of you, the music in his car is low and you find yourself slowly easing into the situation. You don’t remember when the last time you went out with a guy that wasn’t Mark was, but it’s surprisingly nice.

And Jihoon was right– you feel pretty. And when Hyunsuk opens the door for you after pulling up to the parking lot of the restaurant, you even feel wanted. You like the attention, just like any other girl would, and the smile you offer to your date seeps of tender shyness as you get out of the comfortable seat of his car.

The illusion, though, is soon broken as you notice the restaurant he pulled up to. Your smile freezes, your palms get sweaty and you feel your heartbeat rummaging against your ribcage as soon as the idle atmosphere of the restaurant opens up before you. And realistically, you could turn on your heel and get back to the car, tell Hyunsuk that you want to go to another restaurant– but you don’t do it, against your biggest wishes, because you worry that the boy already made a reservation and you don’t want to ruin an evening that’s going well so far.

“Everything alright?” your date checks up on you, seemingly noticing the frown on your face, and when his worried eyes meet yours, it’s sealed– you’d feel too bad for pulling out of the date now. So you only do what you always do best– you put on your best relaxed smile and nod, catching up to him and ensuring him that you’re all okay and you didn’t just talk yourself out of an anxiety attack.

Because you owe it to him and to Jihoon– both of them worked so hard to make you feel happy and help you to get over your ex boyfriend. It’s not Hyunsuk’s fault that he just managed to pick the restaurant your said ex boyfriend works at part-time. He had no way of knowing, and if you’re lucky enough, Mark wouldn’t be on today. He only works here part-time, it’s not like he’s here every day, and as far as you’re concerned, he only worked like two or three days a week when you dated. It would be a weird coincidence for him to be working the day you go there with your new date– you hope you’re not that unlucky.

Hyunsuk is a gentleman. Opening up doors for you, pulling out the chair for you, letting you talk and not interrupting you. He watches you with fond eyes and you almost try to feel bad for the fact that even if this ended well, the poor boy would just end up being a rebound. He deserves so much more, and you start to worry if this date was a good idea after all. Wasn’t it selfish of you to agree to this?

“What do you want to get?” he asks as you open up the menu, and you squint at the prices, mentally taking a note to order the cheapest thing just in case he wants to pay for you at the end of the evening.

“Spaghetti Bolognese,” you blurt out, despite it not being your favorite meal. Hyunsuk just stares at you with squinted eyes, but doesn’t disagree with you. After all, he has no way of knowing that you dislike the taste of the sauce in most restaurants– even though your conscience tells you that Mark knew that and always made sure to remind you about it before ordering for you, worried that you won’t get to eat much that evening– the only thing left to hope is that it tastes good in this particular place.

“Okay, sure,” he nods and puts the menu down, smiling at you before engaging in a comfortable conversation with you. It feels like you’ve known Hyunsuk forever– his personality oddly reminding you of Jihoon’s caused mainly by the fact that the two have grown up together. Everything flows soundly, but you still find yourself anxiously picking at your cuticles as you cautiously look around the restaurant, fearing the fact that you could catch a glimpse of your ex boyfriend at any second.

And maybe you should be a psychic, because those bad feelings were not there for nothing– when you see a waiter walking out of the back and eyeing your table, ready to get your order, the boy is a few inches taller than your current date, raven hair messy, but still a little styled, dark circles under the man’s eyes, and there he is– your ex boyfriend. Mark Lee halts in his movements, wearing his work uniform, eyes wide, a hint of something that breaks you at least in two mirroring in his orbs before he turns on his heel and disappears in the back again. When he doesn’t come back and his co-worker joins you and Hyunsuk at your table with a warm smile, you stop waiting to see the glimpse of him you selfishly desired to catch despite fearing the interaction the whole evening.

You want to fall through the floor and disappear in the depths of this earth. For some reason, you feel mortified. What would he think? And why do you even care about his feelings? A million different thoughts run through your brain and you worry that you’re being too distant from your current date, but Hyunsuk’s warm eyes reassure you that he doesn’t mind.

Piercing the food on your table with your eyes, you try to battle the noisy words running around your brain.

It’s easy to say you’re over someone when you don’t see them. To have them in front of you, meet their gaze and acknowledge their existence and still be able to nod and say that you’ve moved on, is something completely different.

Were you ever convinced that you were over Mark Lee in the first place, though?

After all of this– the months of following Jihoon’s advice, although making a few mishaps along the way as you continue to pick up Mark’s calls on Friday nights, snoop around his socials and let your mind wander to places it shouldn’t, overthinking everything and making you wish the relationship never ended in the first place– it’s time for the last step of it all. The last, most crucial part of this whole moving on process– the most important one, if you may.

Step five – avoid him at all costs.

Sounds easy, right? After the four previous steps, you’d already cried plenty about the lost months with your ex-boyfriend. You’d already given him back all of his stuff, not tying yourself to him with any material memory. You’d already gone on a date with someone new, choosing to distract yourself instead of letting yourself feel the emotions. After all the previous steps, this one’s supposed to be the easiest one. The one you’re supposed to want to do, after all. The break-up wasn’t messy, but it was still painful– it’s only natural for you to not want to see Mark ever again, right?

Wrong.

Because you never listen to the advice you’re given. That just wouldn’t be you, would it?

And so when Mark Lee calls you one day and tells you that he has a free train ticket to the Bukhansan stop, explaining that he was supposed to go hike there with Donghyuck who canceled on him last minute because of an assignment due midnight, you don’t really hesitate much before you shoot him a short text saying that you’re down and get ready for the short hike.

When you meet your ex boyfriend at the station, his figure slightly slouched up until the moment his eyes meet yours, you feel the quiet tension in the air. You’ve seen each other a few times before this meeting– on a party you went to with Jihoon, at the campus when you went to class one morning, your ex boyfriend walking you towards the Art building, hell, you’ve even met in the grocery store, all accidental and making your heart leap in your chest with tension. This time, though, you’re here completely intentionally, just to hang out with him, and something about the fact makes a dull pain shoot all through your intestines, a sensation so uncomfortable you try to hide with a tight-lipped smile.

“Ready for the hike?” he asks, adjusting the bag on his back, playing with the straps with clammy fingers. You can’t help but notice how he looks just like a little boy, in his little world, shielded from everything. He seems to have taken a protective stance, and you hate how the air between you shifted from how you two used to be when you were dating. Mark seems scared. Nervous. On top of his feet. Maybe you shouldn’t have agreed to this at all.

You’re already here, though. Turning around and leaving wouldn’t really work right now, as you take a step towards the train that’s just arrived, humming to your ex boyfriend in agreement. Taking a seat on the place Mark’s pointed to you on the train ticket, you try to loosen up your muscles and get as comfortable as you can, clearing your mind as you gaze outside of the window.

“How have you been?” he asks, clearing his throat.

Pressing your lips into a tight line, you turn to him as you search for an answer. “Better,” you nod, voice quiet. “You?”

Mark hums, chewing the inside of his cheek. “Good, good,” he lies through his teeth, “I’ve seen you at the restaurant the other day,” he hints, and you battle the sigh that’s begging to cut out of your throat. You don’t know where he’s going with the sentence. It’s not a question– only a proposition, barely even that– and you could ignore it with a nod of your head, you could pay it no mind as you see the bitterness in his gaze and the slightly self-conscious averting of his stare. You don’t know where he’s going with the conversation, but frankly, you don’t know where you are going with your answer either, as you shrug to him in a casual manner and peep under your breath.

“Yeah,” you say, “that was just… Jihoon’s friend from uni, I suppose,” you complete, and the sentence hints at nothing– it doesn’t clear out the confusion, it doesn’t outright say anything that could make Mark believe that it was just a casual hang-out with a friend, but still, you see the boy visibly relax as he nods to you and offers you a tight-lipped smile.

“Oh,” he hums, looking out of the window, past the profile of your face. The change in topic is sudden and sharp, but also welcome as he falls into a casual conversation with you, and suddenly, you’re reminded by the Mark you once knew– the guy you’ve once called not socially awkward, but so social that it’s awkward– as he talks to you about his day and rambles on about the weather. “It’s good that it won’t rain today, I bet the view will be nice.”

Locking your gaze with him for a brief second, you lick your lips and point your eyes towards the ground. It’s good that it won’t rain today, as opposed to last time you two went to the Bukhansan trail. You wonder if he remembers.

Before you have a chance to mention it– and in all reality, you won’t, no matter how bold you could be feeling at the moment– the train comes to a stop at your station and you hop out of the carriage, ready for the hike.

It’s easy to forget how messed up things have gotten between the two of you when you walk alongside with your ex boyfriend, laughing at his silly jokes and gasping at everything he shows to you with a pointed finger, finding yourself admiring the sound of his giggle when he spots a squirrel pass your path somewhere near the top of the hill. The trail is almost empty at this hour, since the two of you have decided to go in the late afternoon, and you find your soul to finally be at peace after so many weeks, you finally feel relaxed in the nature, one with the wind and the gentle sound of birds chirping lullying your running thoughts to a rest.

You realize that this is just what you needed all this time. You needed to get out and walk for some while, to tune out yourself and to accept the fact that you’re still here, for another day, and something about that is still a blessing. Watching the back of Mark’s head as he walks a step in front of you due to the narrowness of the trail in this area, you smile to yourself. It’s easy to forget just how much you were hurt by him when he heals your soul with such a simple gesture. It’s easy to forget you were hurt when he seemingly tries to put all the broken pieces back together, glue them to where they were in the first place, when things were easier and you both didn’t have so many things to worry about.

You reach the top just as the sun starts setting over the horizon, and there are only a few people scattered across the peak, sitting on their own picnic blankets and gazing into the distance. The hues of the sky paint the world in a different color, the oranges, pinks and muted purples playing with your heartstrings as you come to a halt and crouch down and feel the presence of another soul mirror your actions only a meter away to your right, his gaze glued to your side. The view is beautiful, but the feeling of being watched isn’t ignorable anymore, and so you turn to your companion and raise your eyebrows at him, wondering if he has something to say.

You don’t know how you’ll be able to come back to your life after this and pretend you still don’t want to spend every passing second with the man on your right. You don’t know how you’re supposed to ignore the ever so growing love for him– even though after being so disappointed with the past, the feelings should be decreasing, not doing the opposite– and frankly, you don’t even want to think of going back to the way it’s been for the past few months. And so you don’t– you allow yourself to indulge the moment, to ignore the pain that’s about to come, just so you could hold another beautiful memory to your heart and enjoy the moment before it hurts you to think of it tomorrow morning.

“It’s even more beautiful than the last time,” Mark hums, but his eyes never leave your figure– if you were still dating, you bet he’d come out with a cheesy line about how you’re prettier than the view, or something. “It didn’t rain this time around, thank god.”

Gazing at him, you shake your head in disbelief. Scoffing, you play with the grass between your fingers. “You remember that?”

“Yeah,” he hums, “I remember a lot of things.”

The sentence makes you bitterly chuckle. He knows why you’re reacting the way you are– and you have every right to. He claims to remember a lot of things, but the ones important to you, the ones you wanted him to remember, he failed to save into his memory. And that’s eventually what made you break up with him, at the end of it all.

At your reaction, he sighs and drags a hand across his face, seemingly realizing the weight of his own words and just how ridiculous he must have sounded to you right now.

“I- That-” he stutters, shaking his head, “that sounded stupid right now, considering… everything… Didn’t it?”

“Kind of,” you nod, not wanting to meet his eyes.

“I’m sorry,” he blurts out, voice suddenly raw and serious, so different to the tone he’s been using with you the whole afternoon, “I don’t- I can’t remember if I said that back then, when you- when you… broke up with me, but I really am sorry, Y/N. You didn’t deserve that, and I am in no way shape or form trying to make this about me, but I hate myself every day for the way things turned out and if I could go back to that day, I’d do so many things differently.”

The sky in front of you deepens in reds and you taste iron on your tongue, suddenly hyper-aware of the fact that you’ve managed to bite on your lip too hard in the midst of the conversation. Tearing out stems of grass with your clammy fingertips, you focus on the clouds running through the sky, calculating your next response.

“Okay,” you nod, not giving him much else. The answer perfectly encapsulates the way you feel on the inside right now– you don’t know if you’re ready to accept his apology, if you’re ready to let go of it and act like you weren’t hurt or that none of it ever happened, but you listened to him and you internalized his words. He is sorry. He knows he was in the wrong. And you were aware that he knew all of this before– hell, you’d even go as far as say he knew it the moment you knocked on his door that day and told him it was over– but hearing it from him surely moved something inside of you to a more comfortable place.

“I-” he starts, voice breaking making him clear his throat before he continues, “I don’t expect you to forgive me. And I know I shouldn’t have expected you to still be my friend after all of this, and that- I shouldn’t have even called you so many times and approached you at the store and stuff, but um-” he mumbles, shrugging to himself, “I guess I just couldn’t stay away from you. And again, I don’t expect you to forgive me, I don’t expect you to do anything, really. So… yeah…”

Snickering at his aimless monologue, you shake your head in disbelief. “Mark?”

“Yeah?” he stares at you, eyes a bottomless pool of emotion.

“Why did you invite me here today? What was the… point, I guess?” you ask, hugging your knees to your chest as the breeze makes goosebumps appear all over your body.

Mark offers you a sad smile, head leaned to his right as he shrugs, and this time, his eyes don’t leave yours as he spills the truth into the air. “I guess I was just feeling selfish today,” he hums, and the sentence makes you cringe with the memory of his first call to you after your break up, “wanted to spend time with you.”

“Here, of all places?”

“Yeah,” he nods, “told you. I was feeling selfish.”

Snickering, you look away, staring at the sky again. The colors are starting to blend together into a deep, dark purple– the horizon darkening as the sun starts to say its final goodbyes to the day. You sigh to yourself, yet feel no bitterness or terror at his words. Somehow, you understand. Somehow, you get him a little too well. Somehow, you think you knew the moment he texted you today, and somehow, you think you felt it in your bones when you didn’t say no, although you could have. There’s calmness in your soul when you nod at the implication of his words, leaning back on your elbows and plopping your bottom to the ground, sitting at the dusty surface.

“You said you didn’t expect anything out of me today, Mark.”

“And I don’t,” he says, voice soft.

“And you brought me here to remind me of the last time we went?” you stare at him, a hint of a bitten-back smile playing with your lips. “Because you’re selfish?”

He nods, not escaping your gaze. “To remind you of the last time we went. To show you that… I remember, I guess. And that I still care, just like the last time. If not more.”

“Mark, you can’t just say all of this and expect nothing out of me right now,” you mutter.

“Actually, I can. Because that’s what I’m doing. I’m just… laying it out in the open, and what you do with the information is completely, completely up to you,” he explains, and you find yourself chuckling at him, the atmosphere instantly lighter as you hear his voice in its usual casualness, talking to you as if he was just unpacking what went on in class today, and not the starting and the end of your one year relationship.

And he’s right. What you do with the information is completely up to you, and the next steps and the progress of your relationship with Mark Lee is also completely in your hands. You could turn away and never talk to him again, you could curse at him and tell him that it’s too late now and he missed his chance, but if that was the case, you wouldn’t be here in the first place. He wouldn’t be inviting you to this place, lying about his roommate canceling just to trick you into going, and you wouldn’t be blindly accepting the invitation, wanting to see where the afternoon brings you.

“So you still care about me?” you hum, looking at him from under your eyelashes, noticing his slouched-over pose as he looks back at you over his shoulder.

“Always have,” he admits, “never stopped. Despite not really… acting like it in the past few months.”

“Why’d you stop acting like it, then?” you ask.

A sigh escapes his lips, his head turning forward before he leans back and sits cross-legged on the ground, more comfortably now. Shrugging, he answers the question. “I guess I just got too caught up with different things. And don’t get me wrong, you were always my priority, always, but I was all over the place with everything and my mind just couldn’t… there were too many things to keep up with and I couldn’t stay up to date with everything,” he says, “and I know it’s not an excuse, but it’s an explanation, and it doesn’t make it better or undo the pain I’ve caused you, but it’s… at least you know it was never because I’d care about you any less.”

His eyes bear into yours with such honesty you think the weight of the world will crash on you any minute, and suddenly, the whole situation seems so much clearer.

And you wouldn’t take it back, you wouldn’t undo the breakup or do anything differently, because at the end of the day, you think it was needed. Perhaps the time apart was what he needed as a wake up call and what you needed to shield yourself from hurting more.

“Stop me from saying it if you… if you don’t want to hear it right now,” he hums, voice barely louder than a whisper. There seems to be a silent communication between the two of you, a connection of some sort that brings out the strange telepathy, but you just nod at him, a gentle smile playing with your lips as you understand exactly what he means, telling him that it’s okay and that you don’t mind– you welcome, you need to hear him say it again.

Licking his lips, he turns to you fully, facing you. There’s not a hint of nervousness in his body, having done this a lot of times before, and then it happens– the repeated confession, confirming what was there the whole time, never leaving even when the times were rough.

“I love you,” he says.

And isn’t that all that’s needed?

A year is a long time with someone. Somehow, you wouldn’t want the time to go to waste. At the end of the day, if love is still present, isn’t it worth trying? One more time?

“And you still don’t expect anything from me?” you ask, gazing at him softly. “You don’t expect me to say it back?”

“No,” he breathes out, shrugging. “I just needed to get it off my chest.”

“Because you’re selfish like that,” you nod, teasing him.

“Because I’m selfish like that,” he agrees, breaking out into a slight grin.

Looking at the sky, now completely dipped in dark purple, you sigh to yourself at the turmoil of the conversation. You don’t say it back– although you feel it, you know it’s in there, playing with your heartstrings and clenching the muscle in the palm of its hand– you know love is there, deep inside, for the man that’s currently staring at you as if you hung the very stars appearing on the sky there yourself, stolen them from your own eyes and gluing them there selflessly, for everyone to see. You don’t tell him you love him back, you don’t tell him you forgive him or accept his apology. You don’t worry about what tomorrow will bring you, what your brain is going to tell you when you come down from the hill and get home, lay in your bed and overthink. You let the worries escape you, letting fondness and calm envelope you in a tight hug instead.

“Okay,” you nod, watching the boy next to you look at you with curious eyes. You take his hand into yours and place it on your thigh, playing with his fingers for a heartbeat before you meet his eyes again and smile. “I won’t say it back, but for all it’s worth, Mark… I’m glad you remembered.”

And that’s all he needs– there is love, there is fondness, and there is the silent confirmation that all you need right now is just a bit more time.

Where do broken hearts go?

Somehow, you think they hold on to the place where it all started. Somehow, you think your heart never went anywhere– it stayed on this hill, waiting for you to pay it a visit and pick back up everything right from where you left it.

“It doesn’t seem like a good idea to go here today, Y/N,” Mark laughed behind you as he looked up to the sky, the dark clouds shielding the sun that had been previously shining down on your hiking figures, casting an orange glow on the strands of your hair.

“Well, there’s no turning back now,” you shrugged, turning to him and grinning as you tugged on his hand, grip strong as you dragged the boy up the trail, your sneakers fast against the dirty ground. “We have finals starting next week and it’s gonna be too cold to go after the exam season is over, so we gotta go now.”

“I kind of regret telling you that I’ve never been here before now,” Mark sighed, but followed you nonetheless, breathlessly following your excited stride. It was October, the leaves on the trees were welcoming the two of you in shining colors, and the wind kissing your skin turned a bit chilly in the evenings– courtesy of the warm hoodie Mark shyly lended you when you shivered for the first time, adoring the way you, his friend, looked in the light gray fabric. Something about you wearing his clothes made the boy a bit hopeless about the day. Maybe he’ll have enough courage to confess his feelings to you, he thought. Maybe, despite the first raindrops falling on the skin of his bare arms, this evening will have a happy ending for you and him.

“Oh, please,” you squinted at him, continuing to run up the hill– thank god it wasn’t that steep, serving both of you as the perfect hiking difficulty, “even if you wouldn’t have, I’d drag you here anyway. It’s like, my favorite place to go in Seoul, haven’t I told you before?”

You have, Mark thought. But he was okay with hearing it again.

You squealed when the raindrops got heavier and the rain started pouring faster on the two of you, and Mark found himself laughing at your running figure. He was right behind you, praying that you don’t slip on one of the rocks and break your leg on the hiking trail, but he encouraged you with sweet comments and a hand on the small of your back as he watched the tip of the hill appear right in front of his very eyes, your body coming to a satisfied halt when you reached your destination.

“Tada!” you grinned at him, twirling a little like a ballerina, showing him the place with outstretched arms. He tried hard to observe the place, but his eyes stayed glued to your excited figure, gaze bearing into yours as you looked at him, amidst a little flustered, with sparkly orbs and a bright smile on your face. Your hair was a mess, his gray hoodie enveloping your body was slowly growing darker in color from absorbing the rain, and your sneakers were getting a bit muddy from walking around the place. He wanted to remember this moment forever, he thought– this version of you, the smiley expression on your face, the carefree and excited nature of your step.

“Isn’t it beautiful?” you exclaimed, jumping around and nearing the boy, but as you went to take his hand to drag him around the top of the hill once more, your feet slipped and you fell forward, a surprised squeak battling its way out of your throat.

Your whole life flashed in front of your very eyes in that moment, embarrassment spreading down your neck at the fact that you were about to fall face first onto the ground in front of your crush of a few months, before your body collided with a soft, yet firm mass engulfing you closer. A pair of strong arms steadied you against his chest, and when you looked up at your friend, you swear all words were taken out of your dictionary, the sight leaving you speechless.

“It is,” he gaped, eyes bearing into yours. Mark was agreeing with you, but something in the back of your head was telling you that he didn’t really admire this place as much as you did– his curious gaze was always plastered somewhere completely else.

That place being your face, of course. And your eyes, your cheeks, the mess of your bangs, and occasionally– screw that, almost always– your lips. Much like in that moment, a few centimeters away from his face, so inviting he thought it would be a crime to contain the urge.

And so he didn’t– he didn’t control his feelings and the ever-so growing yearning for you, as he silently leaned towards your face and captured his lips with yours in a firm, yet short kiss.

He looked at you with a nervous tint behind his gaze when he leaned away, the sight of your wide eyes staring at him making a slight flush grow on his cheeks. You looked so beautiful in that moment– flustered, surprised, with messy hair and lips still apart– and he was relieved to not find a hint of a displeased emotion in your expression.

“Okay, so- well-” you stuttered, laughing to yourself, “this didn’t go as I planned, but I guess I’m happy as long as the final result is the same,” you hummed, standing on your tippy-toes and pressing your lips against him once more, this time letting yourself enjoy the moment fully, mouth moving against his in a careful, yet excited rhythm. He tasted like the strawberry candy you offered him on the bottom of the trail and smelled a bit like rain, the mixture always staying in the depths of your mind as his warmth enveloped you in comfort and a feeling of home.

“The final result being…?” he asked when you pulled apart once again, a dazed expression overtaking his sharp features.

“Us,” you shrugged, “like this,” you clarified.

Mark laughed at that, hugging you closer to his chest. You rested your head on his shoulder, listening to the sound of raindrops washing away the top layer of dirt off the rocks on the tip of the hill, hands sneaking around his waist and enjoying the way they wrapped around him so tightly and so comfortably. You in his hoodie, in your favorite place, standing in his arms. It was raining, but it didn’t matter.

“Mark?”

“Hm?”

“If we ever get lost, or something happens… bring me back here, okay?” you mumbled close to his ear, lips gently glazing the skin of his ear, making goosebumps appear all over your new lover. “I’m convinced that this place could fix everything.”

“Even us?”

“Don’t be ridiculous. You’re not allowed to ever leave me now, what would there be to fix between us?” you smacked his shoulder, snickering to yourself.

“You never know,” he laughed, “what if I accidentally mess up somewhere along the way?” he asked, threading his fingers through your hair, smoothing down the wet mess.

“Okay then,” you hummed, “even us.”

Staring into your eyes, letting the moment play out by itself, Mark swore he’s never felt more at peace. He wondered if it was the effect of the place, the rain, or just your sheer presence. “I’ll remember that,” he giggled before he let go of your body, petting your head as he took a hold of your hand, tugging you down from where you came from, “now let’s go home before we catch a cold.”

Nodding, following the man as you both carefully, yet fastly made it down the trail, you enjoyed the way his hand fit into yours and the way you knew that after this, you can’t ever come back to being friends with Mark Lee. He was all yours, completely, utterly yours, and you knew in the back of your head, that you were his– and nothing will ever change that.

You would always come back to the hill with him. It felt ridiculous to think about you two ever having to fix anything between the two of you back then, but even in that moment, you knew that for him, you’d keep trying. As long as he does– as long as he remembers.

Where do broken hearts go? You guess they always come right back to the place they come from– and they leave glued back together every single time.

You guess your heart never really left the hill.

1K notes · View notes

yesimwriting · 1 month

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Would bestie reader just say that she and felix are soulmates?

For example: her and farleigh are talking about the future and what they want to do and she just says "i would probably work and move somewhere sunny because felix doesnt really like the rain". " You want to live with felix?" " OFC, hes my soumate"

Felix: 🥺

yes yes yes! omg they so would pull the platonic soulmate card

You don't know who decided to label group study sessions as 'productive', but you're convinced they've never actually been to one. As a concept, they're the perfect way to balance social needs and academic responsibilities. It's a way to focus on your school work without isolating yourself completely.

In practice, group study sessions are an academic-hang-out purgatory.

"Y'know how you asked to not be interrupted until you finished your organic bio reading, unless there was an emergency?" Farleigh's voice has now yanked you out of the world of protein and enzyme molecules.

You sigh. If this is him giving into his inability to not snark at you, you might have to pick up your text book and hit him over the head with it. "Is there an emergency?"

The dryness of your response does little to dissuade him. You lift your head slightly. The reading break that's being forced onto you is an opportunity to get ready to copy some bullet points into your notebook. You reach for your highlighter, but before your fingers can grasp it, Farleigh's pulling it out of reach.

You straighten, back pressing into the wooden back of the library's chair. He ignores your glare, thumb pushing the neon pink cap upwards before snapping it back into place.

"I'd be careful, Farleigh." Felix's chair shifts with a soft groan, all four of the chair's legs fully settling on the ground as he sits up and flattens his feet. "That's not one of her nice looks."

"You'd know."

You frown, some half thought out sarcastic retort balancing on the edge of your tongue. Felix beats you to the punch. "You'd know if you had any real friendships."

Farleigh presses down on your highlighter's cap, a quiet click interrupting his silence as it clicks into place. "Friendship. Is that what we're calling it?"

There's a knowingness to the comment that has a hint of warmth attempting to tinge your cheeks. You're used to the jokes and little comments about you and Felix, especially from Farleigh, but his tone hints at a sharpness you're not in the mood for. Sometimes he feels like pushing, turning his jokes and comments into something more. You've been in the library for some time now, you're sure the stillness is making him restless in a way that will only add to that.

"Is this the emergency you interrupted my reading for?"

He shakes his head once, forearm moving to rest against the table in front of you. "Theoretically," he starts, the single word drawn out in a way that has you rolling your eyes, "If Madison was seen leaving a party with Abigail's ex-boyfriend, would that count as an emergency?"

No way. Your jaw drops. Madison and Abigail, roommates that seem perpetually trapped in the outer orbit of Felix's friend group, started the year as total best friends. Then, one day, for reasons that no one you know has been able to figure out, everything turned into a sort of unspoken competition between them. It's such an odd dynamic, you and Farleigh have to talk about it every time there's an update.

"What?" You set your arms over your textbook, leaning forward to better listen. "Why didn't you say anything?"

"You wanted to read organic bio."

Farleigh knows exactly what he's doing. He sat on this piece of information and only dropped it when it became convenient to have something worth saying. "You knew before I said that." You turn in your seat to look over at Felix. "Did you know?"

"I spent the entire night with you," he says, "I know what you know."

Yeah, you and Felix were particularly invested in your own world the last time you went out together. The two of you spent most of the night trying drink combinations you'd normally never get, Felix laughing as your negative reactions grew more theatrical as the night went on. "Well, you're not very invested."

It's not an accusation. You know Felix well enough to know that he's rarely particularly interested in most gossip. A part of it might come from the fact that everyone goes out of their way to present themselves in certain ways when around Felix. Rumors about palpable passive aggression seem a lot less real when the people the rumors are about are constantly trying to gloss over any imperfections in his presence.

"You two are too invested." He turns his head to look at you, a small smile playing at his lips. "You only get along when you're gossiping."

You straighten, lifting an arm off of the table to poke Felix's arm. "We all need hobbies." You then turn your head forward to look at Farleigh, "Okay, tell me everything and do it in less than 5 minutes, or I'm not going to go back to studying."

Farleigh's eyes briefly drop towards the textbook in front of you. "You worry too much." The way he says it feels less concerned and more like an observation of something he finds grating. "We all know you're going to end up at John Hopkins." It lacks any type of inflection. It feels like fact. An inevitability.

Graduate school is currently a foreign, distant concept, and you'd like to keep it that way. You're not sure why, but picturing your future education isn't as easy as you had hoped it would be. It's as if there's some kind of mental wall blocking your ability to connect with the next step in becoming a doctor, when all your classes will revolve around the subjects you don't love and you'll have to dissect and watch more surgeries than ever.

You tap our fingers against the wooden surface in front of you. You're not sure what the right kind of response to this type of thing is. "Uh--realistically, John Hopkins is far from everyone I know, and I don't think Felix would like Maryland, so..."

Farleigh raises an eyebrow as he finally sets down your highlighter. "You're factoring in Felix?" The question is still registering as Farleigh gestures in Felix's direction. "You want to live with him?"

"Yeah." While a lot of your future is blurry in your mind, Felix is clear, certain. "Yeah, he's my soulmate."

Farleigh's eyes widen slightly at the candidness of your admission. It didn't feel that heavy when you said it. There are a lot of ways for someone to be your soulmate.

"You want to--to live together after this?" You turn your neck to look over at Felix. He's already facing you, but his eyes are focused on his lap. "Like with me?"

"Yeah..." You admit again as you pull your hands towards you. Maybe you shouldn't have said anything without thinking. "Do you not want to live with me?"

"No, I do," he forces out the words quickly, his gaze briefly falling towards you. "I didn't realize you were--" He clears his throat, forcing himself to straighten. "Soulmate." Felix's hand reaches for the underside of your chair, pulling you towards him with no warning. "I'm your soulmate."

You're never speaking without thinking again. "There are a lot of ways to be someone's soulmate, so don't start."

His fingers move up the edge of the chair before finding your knee. He's beaming. "'M not starting anything."

----

taglist; @vader-is-hot @spiritofbuddha @getosangie @freyafriggafrey @ilovehyperfixating @aryiannarae @willowpains @ker0senebunny @lilyrachelcassidy @khxna @imbabycowboy

#felix catton x reader #felix catton #bestfriend!felix x reader #bestfriend!felix #saltburn x reader #jacob elordi x reader #jacob elordi

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missmielyhoran · 1 year

Text

Denial

face calim- Lily James

Masterlist // Series Masterlist

[Warning- Angst, Cheating, smut but not written, crying, alcohol consumption, more crying, suicidal thoughts, people not knowing meaning of privacy, Hayden being a bitch]

Liked by Harryfan2, Y/Nfan3, Harryfan1 and 663,989 others

Y/Nupdates Y/N out with kids in London today getting ice cream.

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Harryfan1 Milf fr

Harryfan2 Where are the kids?

Y/Nfan1 They're cropped out. Harry and Y/N didn't want their faces to be public yet.

Y/Nfan3 Is it just me, or have you guys also noticed that Harry has not seen with kids for a long time

Harryfan3 Maybe he's busy with new album and stuff

Y/Nfan1 No me too

Y/Nfan2 @/Harryfan3 he was seen with his friends at pub few days ago

Harryfan5 Aww she bought flowers for Harry

*****

They say that when someone dies, their whole life flashes before their eyes. The good, the bad, all moments move in front of their eyes like a movie, that's how you felt when you opened the door of your bedroom.

A movie of your marriage dying.

You were going through your day like normal. Your shooting had ended early, so you decided to pick up the kids from school and take them out for ice cream. They were now standing in the kitchen. You could hear their muffled giggles while you stood upstairs in front of your room like a mannequin watching your husband scramble and quickly put on clothes.

"Fuck- Baby I can explain-" Harry tried to approach you, but you couldn't look at him or react to his words. Your eyes remained trained on the woman lying on the bed, on your bed. Sheets up to her chest, her head perched up on her arm while she looked straight in your eyes without any shame or remorse. Oh no, she had a smirk on her lips.

"Kids are downstairs," You motioned with your thumb downstairs, "I- I'm going to drop them off, and then we will..." You couldn't complete the sentence. You felt like your body was on autopilot as you went downstairs and ushered the kids back to the car, your and Harry's four years old daughter asking why she couldn't see her dad and what could you say?

"He has some important work to do. Why don't you guys have a sleepover at Elliott's tonight?" You asked them, putting all your acting skills out there to hide the waver in your voice. Elliot was your ex-boyfriend and father of your eldest son Emiel.

"Yayyy" Amie clapped her hands, excited to hang out with her best friend. Meanwhile, Emiel stayed silent and looked at his mom from the passenger seat. You knew he knew something was wrong, considering he was older and much more aware of his surroundings than your little girl.

You just sighed and kept driving to Elliott's house. Soon enough, they arrived at the familiar small cottage-esc house. You got out of the car and then unstrapped Amie from the seat belt. As soon as you put her down, Amie ran towards the door and knocked on it, being too short to reach the doorbell. Emiel laughed and picked her up so she could ring the bell.

Soon enough, Elliot was opening the door with the biggest smile on his face. "If it isn't my two favorite people," He exclaimed and pulled both of them in hugs. Behind him, his Fiancé laughed at his antics, and she smiled a bit, too.

"Mom said we're having a sleepover!" Amie screamed near Em's ear, making him groan. It's then Elliot looked up, his blue eyes met her tired ones, and he knew something was wrong considering they were friends for a long time.

"Em, why don't you take her inside with Bran?" He smiled at his son, and Bran took them inside, talking about something.

"Are you okay?" Elliot immediately asked, and you shook your head. Your brain was still too jummbled to speak or to cry or to be angry or even comprehend what had happened.

"Why don't you come inside for a second and drink some water? I fear you might pass out from the way you're looking so pale." He looked at you concerned, and before you could protest, Elliott pulled you inside.

You sat on the dinner table and looked out to the garden, finding Em holding Amie in his arms, her head on his shoulder. The tiredness of school and excitement finally caughting up to her and knocked her out.

You took your phone out and clicked a picture, them being the only hope she could grasp on at the moment.

Elliot didn't ask any questions. He understood that if you wanted to talk, you would. He just stood there as emotional support staring at their kids as you drank the water.

"I might need them to be here for a few days before I sort things out. I hope you don't mind." You asked Elliott, looking up at him sadly. "You hurt me, sucre. Of course I don't mind." He shook his head and pulled you in a hug.

*****

Liked by Y/Nfan1, Annetwist, Harryfan4 and 1,987,456 others

Yourinstagram Mon chéri

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User1 Omg babiess

User2 That's Emiel? He has gotten so big

User3 I mean he's 13 now

User2 the small Gucci bag🥺she's soo like harry

annetwist Oh my sweet babies...miss you so much

Yourinstagram miss you too mom🥺

User4 still can't get over that she calls Anne mom😭

User4 Harry didn't comment?

*****

When you arrived at you-Harry's house, the sun was setting. You was dreading the conversation that was bound to happen. Six years went down the drain in a few hours.

Your whole life felt like a lie.

Harry was sitting on the couch when you walked inside. A major part of you hoped he had some explanation, that it wasn't what it looked like or that it was just a mistake. But when you walked more inside and saw her there still after everything, your heart cracked a bit more.

"Y/N," Harry breathed out, his voice coming out in heaves as if he's out of breath, but you knew him. You knew he was just nervous.

He looked so young when he was sad, his eyes droopy yet shining, the mess of curls and clenched jaw reminded you of the early Harry who stole your heart.

Now, he reminded you of the one that broke it.

"Why is she still here?" was asked first thing first you asked. Harry looked behind him, and Hayden just shrugged and plopped down on the kitchen bar stool eating chips while scrolling through her phone.

"Emotional support for him after you leave" She said with a wink pointed at Harry.

"I just thought it would be better to talk with all of us here," he said, fiddling with his fingers, as if searching for a ring on his ring finger, but there wasn't one. Now that you think of it, you hadn't seen him wear it in so long.

You should have seen the signs.

All you could do was nod. You sat down far away from him on the loveseat, which was ironic cause there was no love in the atmosphere.

"I-" Harry started but couldn't. He closed his mouth again and opened it again, gaping like a goldfish. He looked at you, and you looked at him. Your husband, the person you loved the most after your kids, your first love, your everything.

"How long?" You asked, looking at Harry with dead eyes. It had nothing in them, no spark, nothing just lifeless saphire stones to see.

"Five months," Harry said, looking down at the rug, unable to look into your eyes.

Five months...

They were at your parents' house for Thanksgiving six months ago. The first time, he met Hayden after being with you for almost seven years. He never met your sister, and there was a reason for that.

"Thanksgiving," you mumbled out to herself more than to anyone. He fell out of love with you for so long, and you didn't even know.

"Why, Harry?" You finally asked. You still couldn't cry. No, you still had no expression on your face. You felt like a ghost, pale, feelingless, breathing ghost.

"I don't know," He said, his own lips wobbling.

"I'm going upstairs, babe. Come when you sort this out." Hayden said, walking towards the stairs like she owned the house, "See ya, sis!" She yelled from the top of stairs.

Awkward silence sat between them. The lovers who were laughing, kissing, and playing with their kids just this morning are now sitting in a souless house with a dead relationship.

How can things change so fast?

"Y/N" Harry called you softly. You looked up hopefully, thinking he would say it now, say anything to save whatever was left. You could make a home out of ashes, but for that you did need the ashes.

"I think it's better if you stay here. The kids will not be able to adjust somewhere els-" Harry spoke but stopped when he heard a sniffle.

For the first time since you walked in on them, tears flooded down your face. In just a moment, your eyes were blood red, glistening with tears.

"Where will you live?" You asked with your wobbling voice. A frown took over Harry's face watching you cry, but he was to blame for that.

"I didn't mean for it to happen this way Y/N" he said guiltily.

"Then which way did you want Harry?" You shouted at him, "Having one of our kids walk in on you two, or were you thinking of running away with her? or just wake up one day and throw divorce papers on my face?" You asked, your crying increased, making you choke on it and go into coughing fit.

Harry on instinct went to help you, but you raised your hand, stopping him. "Don't." You shook your head and stood up, calming down your coughing fit.

"I just thought I would talk to you," Harry mummbled his head down, looking at floor.

"You thought you would talk to me. Was this thought came before you stick your dick into my sister or after that?" You asked him clearly angry. You were still crying, your knees felt weak, and your head felt dizzy.

"Harry, we still have time. I- we can still be together just throw her out of house and never see her again. I will not go to my parents' house but please." You fell down to your knees sobbing. You wanted to save the only real thing you ever had, the only person you ever loved, who had been through her thick and thin. You needed him. You needed him for the kids.

Harry was looking down at you sympathetically, his own tears falling down. He felt too much shame to look in your eyes when you looked up at up for answers.

"I don't-" He choked a bit, "I love her Y/N" He whispered.

The final nail was in, the corpse was six feet under, there was no ashes to make home from.

You stilled on the ground, then a loud sob broke from you. You cried with your legs tucked to her chest in a fetal position on the floor. Harry came beside you and brought you to his chest. This time, you didn't move away or push him. You clutched onto his shirt, fully sobbing into it.

You digged your nose into his neck, and the shirt smelled like you. Even after everything, he still smelled like you, but it didn't matter now, did it?

The two lovers cried, holding each other, knowing that once they broke away. Everything else would also be broken.

You didn't know how long it had been. You just knew Harry's shirt was fully wet with your tears, and all you could hear was his heartbeat.

You pulled away from him and looked up in his glistening green eyes and after everything for some reason your eyes held hope.

Maybe it was denial after all they do say it's thr first stage of grief.

But you still knew you had to get out of this house. So, you got up and fixed your clothes to best of your knowledge, tears still falling from your eyes.

You didn't say anything just made your way towards the door concerning Harry. "Y/N were are you going?" He asked following behind you.

"Kids are wt Elliot's" Was all you said as you got into the car and drove off. You didn't know where you were going but you just wanted to go far away from all this.

You weren't a mother who knew her daughter didn't go to sleep until she told her a bedtime story or a wife who just got cheated on by her husband. No, you were just a broken soul who got betrayed by a person who vowed never to hurt her.

You drove in autopilot like you have been for the whole day, how you were alive you didn't know. How many cars and trucks you have doged you didn't know, you didn't even know where you were.

It was a bridge of some kind, you would thinking living in this place for so long would grant you the knowledge of where you are but you didn't know shit. Parking on the side of the road you turned off the car and pulled your windows down. The night cold air filled up the car, making your nose and ears red immediately.

You looked around the place, the small city lights twinkling in the diatance, people returning to their homes. Many who will return to a empty space many to someone waiting for them but you? You lost your home.

Having so much money and fame couldn't give you back your home.

You cried, you cried until you couldn't. You cried until all the tears were drained and all there wad left was a ragining headache and heartache.

You got out of the car and stood near the bridge. Your hair blew in the cold air and somehow you knew you have caught cold. You hugged your coat closer to you searching for any type of warmth.

Putting your hands on the metal bridge you leaned into it more. The rings you were wearing clinked against the metal making you look down to your hands and there it was the pretty diamond he especially got made for you, the one that once held a promise, a promise of faithfulness, love and family and some how in just couple hours you lost all of that or maybe you lost it six months ago just didn't realize it.

You took it off. It didn't held any meaning now did it?

You started crying again. It felt like once the dam broke, it didn't want to stop, but maybe that was for the best. You had kids to be strong for.

Oh god the kids...

What were you going to tell them? Maybe Harry would come back for the kids? He didn't love you but kids? He would come for them, right?

You were soo consumed in you misery you didn't realize your phone was constantly ringing in car or the texts or that from cross the bridge couple of girls were taking your pics.

*****

Harry was getting scared.

When you left the house, he thought you would go to Elliot's house, but you weren't there, and now both of them were constantly blowing up your phone to get a hold of you.

You were in no shape of driving. He should have stopped you, but like most of his decisions, he had nothing to do but regret on them.

He walked back to the couch and plopped down. Hayden was still in the bedroom upstairs. The bedroom that was once yours and his. It felt wrong cause it was wrong, wasn't it? But he loved Hayden, so it has to be right? right?

He looked up from his lap, and his eyes went straight to the flowers sitting on the coffee table. It was a habit of yours to bring something home whenever you come back home early. Mostly, it was flowers or the sushi from the sushi place you both love and went to on your first date.

His heart grew heavy as he picked up the flowers, which might be the last one he ever receives from you. Before he could examine them more or cry over them, a pair of hands were taking them out of his hold.

"C'mon baby, let go to bed. I'm tired" Hayden pouted just like you used to, her same yet different eyes as yours looking back at him, and he couldn't resist. He gave her a somber nod and stood up, making his way upstairs. Once he was out of eyeshot, Hayden threw away the flowers in dustbin and happily made her way to the bedroom.

*****

Liked by Y/Nfan2, Y/Nfan4, Harryfan5 and 482,786 others

Y/Nnews Y/N spotted by some fans near the bridge.

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User1 Why she looks so sad?

User2 I met her..it was my friends who took the picture. I tried to tell them not to but they didn't listen.

User3 What happened?

User2 She looked sad and tired. I mean it's hard being mom but she her usual aura was down like she's usually so chirpy and happy but she looked like she didn't want to be disturbed so we didn'task for a picture.

User3 Yet you invaded her privacy and took her pictures

User4 Is it just me or did anyone else seeing that she's not wearing her wedding ring?

User3 Omg yes I didn't realize

*****

You didn't know when you got here. All you know is Elliot somehow found you and brought you back to his house. He left you in the guest room and asked you to call him if you needed something.

You tossed and turned for hours in bed, or maybe it had been a few minutes, time didn't exist for you anymore. You got up to go to the kitchen and get some water when you saw the wine bottle. The temptation was bad, your fingers were itching, and your mouth went dry.

If there was any time to get wasted, it was this. The evil little voice in your head said and you gave in.

You took the bottle out of the cellar and sat down on the floor with your back against the kitchen counter. You brought the bottle to your lips, your hands shaking so badly that you almost dropped it.

The first drop felt like heaven. Like an old friend, you meet after a long time who you cut off cause you knew they were toxic, but the feeling of sweet reconnection and nostalgia still felt like bliss.

You were so in your head thinking about wine that you didn't see Bran coming to the kitchen or watching you from the doorway. He wanted to stop you but knew it wasn't his place, so he went back to his bedroom where his soon to be husband was sleeping.

"Babe," He shook him lightly, "Babe, wake up" He said a bit loudly, making him whine and grumble. He felt bad for a bit cause Bran knew that things have been hard, the school wasn't doing so well so he had to work extra but right now you needed him and Bran knew Elliot will blame himself if something happened to you.

"What happened?" Elliot asked, "I think you should talk to Y/N. She's is in the kitchen.." Bran paused, "Drinking".

That woke Elliot up, "But she hadn't drunk ever since she got cl-" "I know that's why I said go talk to her before things get worse"

You were halfway done with the bottle when Elliot came back to the kitchen. You were hitting the back of your head against the counter, filling the silent kitchen with a thumping noise.

"Y/N" He called out softly and for a second he wished he didn't. You looked like a mess your already ruined makeup was now in shambles, your eyes blood red and your lips were adoring a drunk smile.

"Put the bottle down Y/N you're hurting yourself" Elliot said, sitting next to you. You rolled your eyes and took a big gulp of the wine again.

"My life is already ruined. What's the worst can happen now?" You said laughing, but there was no humor in it. It was hollow like you felt. A hollow shell.

"You want to tell me what happened?" He asked quietly, trying to take the bottle from you by distracting you.

You burst into tears hearing his question. You wanted to tell him, tell him everything that happened, but your brain was not letting you talk. Like keeping it to yourself will make it go away. It was still in denial that it really happened.

"I don't know how to," you said in between sobs. Elliot pulled you to his side, his hand rubbing up and down your back, trying to soothe your crying.

"Harry-" you said and sobbed harder. "You want me to call him?" He asked, but you just shook your head.

"C'mon sucre tell me what's going on." He urged you to tell him. As time went by, Eilliot became more and more concerned. It wasn't like you to cry so much over a fight. You were the one who mostly solved them. So, it had to be something big for you to be here and crying rather than with Harry.

You stared at him for a few seconds, contemplating if you should tell him, but who else would you tell? He was the only friend you had except your little brother who was miles away in Sydney.

So you told him. You told him how your shooting wrapped up early, how you picked up kids, and went home to surpirse your husband only to get your heart broken in the worst way possible. How your husband of five years and almost seven years of love was now in love with someone else and that someone else was none other than your sister.

"I'm going to break his face!" Elliot seethed and scrambled to get up from beside you, but you took his arm and pulled him down back beside you, having no doubt he actually would.

"It will do nothing but harm to you and to him." You sighed, wiping your tears. You started to hate the feeling of being sober after crying, so you took swing of your wine again.

"I just don't understand how and what went wrong." You said staring at the cupboard's golden handle, "We were so happy this morning. I went to shooting, and he dropped kids to school I-" You choked on the lump in your throat.

"Do you think maybe he's doing this to get back at me for leaving him to go to Venice last minute?" You asked Elliot, "Do you think it's just a elaborate prank, I mean you know how Hayden is, she's bitch I won't be surprised if she came up with the idea of this prank."

Elliot looked at you with sad eyes, his hands rubbing your arms affectionately. "If it's a prank then it's one fucked up prank sucre so no I don't think it's a prank" Elliot said sadly looking at your sleepy eyes.

"It has to be. I mean, we were talking about having another baby after my shooting ended. Why would he want to have another baby if he didn't love me?" You asked him, hoping to get any just any answer to soothe the ache in your heart.

"I think you should ask that to him once you get a bit better. For now lets get you to bed" He said, taking the bottle out of your hand amd you let him. The physical and mental exhaustion of day caught up to you, and pairing that with wine had you sleepy.

Elliot carefully placed you on the bed and then put a glass of water and painkillers on the bedside table, knowing you would have a bad hangover since you drank after a very long time.

Sleep engulfed you soon enough, and you dreamt of the time your life wasn't in distress.

*****

Harry woke up in the morning and smiled when he felt soft hands around his torso. It was the part of the relationship he didn't experience with Hayden, but now he could do it as much as he wanted.

He turned around and pulled her in a lazy kiss, which soon turned heated and led to his boxers flying off from bed and his hands trailing around naked her body earing soft sounds from her.

Both of them fell asleep again. Harry woke up around 10 am to a hungry stomach. For a second, he was about to yell for you cause you always brought him breakfast in bed on weekends. Only to realize his mistake, but before he could feel bad, his eyes fell on similar blonde hair, fanning your his pillow, and he forgot everything.

He took a quick shower and got ready to get some coffee and breakfast. He decided to wake up Hayden to ask what she wanted. "Babe, wake up. I'm going to get breakfast. Do you want anything? " He asked her, getting a grumble in reply.

But then Hayden woke up fully alert. "I want to go with you!" She said excitedly, "I can finally have all for me please" She said pleading and how could he resist her?

She went to ready while Harry sat on couch downstairs going through his phone, but when Hayden took too long, he went to look for her.

He heard hushed voices behind the closed door, "Babe, are you ready?" He called her and opened the door. She stood there with a bright smile, her hair side parted with a white t-shirt and blue jeans much like his outfit.

"C'mon, let's go!" She said and took his hand in hers. Harry smiled and went with her. They sat in the car, and Harry brought her hands to his lips and drove off.

They arrived the hidden cafe they went most of the time cause it was in small area where most people didn't recognize him and there were no chances of him getting caught.

He ordered his usual, and so did Hayden, but as soon as they got out of the cafe with their food, the flash of the camera went off and then another. Harry went into full panic mode cause not only this will go back to you but to the whole world and quickly took Hayden's hand running to his car, dodging questions, and camera flash both.

Liked by Harryfan2, Y/Nfan2, Harryfan4 and 1,002,789 others

StylesNews Harry Styles seen out with mystery woman at secret cafe.

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Y/Nfan2 That's Y/N's sister wtf

Harryfan1 I didn't know she had a sister

Y/Nfan2 they're not that close, Y/N told in an interview.

Harryfan3 He's hanging out with her family aww

Harryfan4 they look a lot closer for my taste🤨

Y/Nfan1 IKR like that hand holding is suspicious

Harryfan4 I hope it's not what I'm thinking it is after seeing Y/N's pictures from yesterday

*****

Meanwhile, you woke up with the worst headache of your life. Thankfully, there were medicines and water beside your bed cause your throat felt dry as a dessert.

You walked out of your room groaning at the amount of light filtering through. "Good morning, sleepyhead." You heard your son say laughing.

"Good morning, mum. We made pancakes!" Your daughter squealed and held up pancakes with both of her hands above her head. You laughed and kissed her cheek.

"It looks delicious, baby and good morning to everyone," you said with a smile, forgetting about your pain for quite some time until your daughter asked you when they would be going home.

"What you got bored of me so fast?!" Bran fake hurt while you stood their staring at her thinking when were you going and where were you going cause you could go anywhere you wanted other than your home.

You were in literal, psychological, and in every sense homeless.

"Let mum have her coffee Amie, you know how she's without it." Elliot joked, and Bran picked Amie up, taking her to the living room to keep her busy, and Em followed them.

You took a mug out of the cupboard to make coffee while Elliot sat there looking at you with pity.

"How did you find me yesterday?" You asked, wanting to change the look in his eyes.

"Oh some girl posted you on twitter" He said biting into his pancake while you made your coffee.

"Someone posted me?" You asked and groaned when he nodded, "My manager is going to kill me"

Great now, top of a cheating husband. You also had to deal with getting your crying pics off the internet and deal with an amgry manager.

You took out your phone out of your jeans, which were getting uncomfortable as time passed.

But nothing matched the uncomfortable and shattering hurt you felt when you saw the trending topic of twitter.

They were already parading out? It had hardly been a day, and he was already over you? Did he not think what will happen when tabloids will find it? which they already had found out making their own stories.

Did he not think what kids will think when they will see it? Em was 14 he knew everything and had a phone of his own. What were you supposed to tell him if he asked you? you didn't even know yourself what was going on.

Your head started pounding more than before, and you could feel the migrain coming in . Even though you knew you had to talk to him, you couldn't today in any shape or form.

Your sadness was slowly subsiding now, and as your headache grew, so did your anger, and you knew it was going to be shit show happening in front of everyone.

*****

Same day in evening-

Liked by Harryfan2, Harryfan5, Y/Nfan2 and 998,765 others

Duexmoi This fan favorite couple, an A list actress, and popstar are getting divorced according to an insider. Who do you think they are?

View all comments.

Harryfan1 Harry and Y/N?

Y/Nfan2 Rumor has it one of them cheated

Y/Nfan4 Defo Harry remember the pictures

Harryfan2 Omg with her sister? that's fucked

Harryfan3 don't jump to any conclusion guys maybe it's someone else or maybe it's fake you know how these are.

Y/Nfan1 Fuck Harry and fuck Hayden

*****

Welll...tell me if you guys liked it pleaseeee i need to know!! here♡

Like,Comment and Reblog

Taglist- @lilsiz @kaverichauhan @thechaoticjoy @samwilsonsgirl @lomlhstyles @tenaciousperfectionunknown @that-daydream-look @harryspirate @tiaamberxx @vmpellie @sunshinemoonsposts @jayde515

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love-belle · 6 months

Text

you were my summer love !!!

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ in which their fall-in-love-again era is them missing each other while their friends go crazy over their relationship.

for when you know they'll be your love for all eternal summers. ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

social media au // pierre gasly x fem!reader

prequel - i want sweet revenge and i want him again ⋆·˚ ༘

warnings - language, mention of vodka once.

author's note - i am in fact not dead :) i hope u all like this <3 i will be back with a new post 4 months later jk I LOVE U THANK U

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by pierregasly, y/n4eva, gasly10 and 56,828 others

paddock.club pierre gasly and celine d'souza have called it quits on their relationship after almost three months of dating, sources close to the pair reported. the pair started dating back in august after gasly broke up with his "summer love", y/n y/l/n, affectionately named as augustine by gasly and his fans. although their break up was kept hush for a long time and so was their relationship, pierre wasted no time in moving on and with none other than social media influencer, celine d'souza. "there is no bad blood between them," sources claimed, "they just didn't fit well and it was no good trying to make it work." for more details about their short-lived relationship and the driver's summer romance with the singer, click on the link in our bio.

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≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by lewishamilton, carlossainz55, landonorris and 2,518,916 others

yourusername yeah i miss the way he kisses and the way he grabbed my ass but i can't do anything about it so idk i cry

14,782 comments

username GIRL WHERE IS UR FILTER

username Y/N NO!!!!!!!!! WE DO NOT GO BACK TO OUR EX!!!!!!!!!

username ngl this version of get him back is fire

username girl get UP

username no bc his dick game couldn't have been THIS good

-> yourusername TIME OUT FOR U 😭

-> username be fr is he really THIS funny

username girl WHY DO U NEVER LEARN

username im honestly gonna kms WHY ARE U DOING THIS TO URSELF

username the gasp i js gasped

charles_leclerc go stand in the corner and THINK

-> yourusername SHUT UP UR LITERALLY NOT VALID HERE

username every day i wake up and every day im amazed that she has managed to attain unattainable levels of delusion

-> username no bc im TIRED

username PLS BABE LET HIM GO.

username y/n have u learnt NOTHING

username the lyric change gawd dayum

username is it bad i kinda want her to do something about it ????? like do it for US im off school for weeks and i need entertainment

-> yourusername thank u for supporting my delusions 🙁

-> username GIRLYPOP NO

landonorris i say we start treating y/n like a bad kitten every time she makes a bad decision

-> landonorris that came out wrong

-> danielricciardo i see your vision here

-> charles_leclerc spray her with water DRENCH THAT DEMON

-> yourusername OFF MY PAGE U UNFORTUNATE MUTATIONS THAT ARE UNEMPLOYED FOR THE FIRST FEW MONTHS EVERY YEAR

-> username OH MY GOD

username i genuinely do not know what to do with this information

username THE WAY HE GRABBED MY ASS OMG

lewishamilton i would genuinely appreciate it if you gave me back my son

-> yourusername he's mine now move along

-> lewishamilton i will never forget that you called me weird

-> yourusername omg i apologised??? and made u sandwiches??? and took roscoe for walks THREE CONSECUTIVE DAYS???

-> username they're FRIENDS

-> username no bc their conversations must be WILD and so RANDOM

-> username im eating up every second of this

username now i js need max and nando to be besties 🤞🤞🤞🤞 with y/n and my life will be complete

-> yourusername i don't want them they're annoying

-> fernandoalo_official this is why pierre chose the other girl

-> yourusername SO LOW

-> maxverstappen1 the reason i like you is because you were drinking pure vodka out of a sippy cup at 8 am without blinking

-> yourusername this is why charles doesn't follow u x

-> maxverstappen1 THAT'S A LOW FUCKING BLOW

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by charles_leclerc, landonorris, danielricciardo and 2,156,976 others

pierregasly do something about it

15,729 comments

username SCREECHING WHAT THE FUCK

username i have never ever been this invested in someone else's life THIS BETTER BE WORTH IT

username oh he's BOLD bold

username i know my girlie is panicking rn she did not MEAN for this to happen

username mf say this to HER

username bitches wouldn't be in this situation if they js TALKED FFS

username no bc i KNEW that something was gonna happen when he posted that song on his story

-> username fr like "when i touch her i feel like im cheating on u" BABE????

username cheating on u by charlie puth is actually so y/n and pierre coded it's INSANE

-> username the way my jaw dropped

charles_leclerc i should confiscate your phone for this

-> pierregasly you were the one who held an intervention for me so that i would "get my shit together"

-> charles_leclerc you don't HAVE to get your shit together if it means that i wouldn't be seeing her everyday

-> pierregasly just say that you're scared of her and MOVE

-> username charles is so valid bc she scares ME

-> username u never know what she's gonna do next and that's the scariest part

username im BEGGING y'all pls get back together

username the sigh that left me when i heard that pierre and celine broke up like 😭

username i live in fear that y/n and pierre will get back together and we won't be getting any more angry petty bitchy songs

username motherfucker MAKE A MOVE

username i know the grid is conspiring to get them together like they're MY menacea

-> username yeah and their most effective method (according to them) is locking them in a room

-> username do u think they know that one of them will not be making it out of the room and it'll probably be pierre 🧍

username i am a child of divorce this is christmas of '07 all over again 😔

landonorris i did NOT see you post this and then throw your phone up at the sky and screech as if someone just turned your ribs inside down to make you feel like a fairy

-> pierregasly stay away from me

-> oscarpiastri oh my god that was you??? i thought one of the cars ran over a cat on the track 😭

-> pierregasly okay mctwinks let's get you back in your playpens

-> landonorris unprovoked ☹️

-> oscarpiastri i would say watch your back but you're in the BACK so ☺️

-> pierregasly I WILL RUN YOU OFF

-> pierregasly i'm sorry my team told me i can't say that

username my head is wrapping itself around all this information like a shawl im going INSANE

username i know pierre is on all fours trying to get y/n to take him back

-> username as he should be idgaf

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by pierregasly, landonorris, lilymhe and 2,628,826 others

yourusername yeah i really missed the way he kisses and the way he grabbed my ass so i did something about it

tagged pierregasly

18,628 comments

username IDK WHETHER TO BE MAD OR HAPPY BUT HELLO???

username im gonna scream bc wtf

username NO WARNING WHAT THE FUCK

username sigh ARE U SURE

username are we SURE it's gonna STICK this time

-> yourusername im 182729291% sure charles is gonna murder him if he acts a bit silly again so i'd say it's looking pretty good!!!!

-> charles_leclerc alex hates it when y/n is sad and they both make it MY problem so i'm sorry if i wanna make pasta in a peaceful and tranquil environment instead of bitching about my best mate

-> alexandrasaintmleux you were the one who came up with the most creative insults every time don't LIE like a LIAR

-> pierregasly charles???

-> charles_leclerc they're LYING they LIE they're LIARS

username why am i js figuring it out that y/n is AUGUSTINE like from august by taylor swift

-> username BABE 😭😭😭😭 HOW DID U NOT KNOW

username something about pierre going from her summer love to love love (we don't talk abt what happened in the middle ☺️)

username someone sedate me they're BACK

username i just KNOW charles is pulling at his hair rn bc i know my man has so much dirt on pierre but they reconciled a bit too quickly

-> charles_leclerc I DIDN'T GET TO TELL HER ABOUT THE DUCK INCIDENT

-> pierregasly ONE WORD AND I WILL ERASE YOU FROM THIS EARTH

-> yourusername charles ☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️ don't be shy ☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️ i always liked u the most out of ALL his friends ☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️ please elaborate ☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️

-> yukitsunoda0511 death would've been kinder than this ☹️

-> yourusername STOPPP U KNOW UR MY FAVOURITE I HATE THAT CHARLES MF HE TRIPS ME EVERY TIME I SEE HIM

-> charles_leclerc for the last time, i REALLY did not see the puddle exactly in front of you and i'm really really really really really sorry that you fell in that puddle. and ruined your dress. and made me pay for it. and then pushed me into a fountain.

-> alexandrasaintmleux say away from my gf charles_leclerc 😡😡😡😡😡😡

-> username i have a migraine

username the lore slowly coming to the surface

-> username NAH BC UR TELLING ME THAT YUKI AND Y/N ARE BESTIES???? ALEX AND Y/N ARE LIKE ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️???? CHARLES AND Y/N HAVE BEEF???? HE PUSHED HER INTO A PUDDLE AND SHE PUSHED HIM INTO A FOUNTAIN????

-> username they kept us in the dark for so long we could've had it all 💔💔💔

username time to go on a vacation and make it a mission to hate the dude i meet and then fall in love with him

-> username HATE????

-> username pierre and y/n HATED each other when they first met but then long story short y/n saved him from a jellyfish and then it was lovers part of enemies to lovers ❤️

-> username oh the lore is WILD

username don't be a coward and record get him back with these lyrics 😡😡😡😡😡

-> yourusername i would but pierre would cry if i sang that song again now that he's back in my good books 😔💔

-> landonorris this is why you need to break up again x

-> pierregasly don't make me break check you next weekend

username is it a good time to mention that i saw u at lax and u looked WRECKED so im really glad ur both back together so that he can grab ur ass again

-> yourusername 😭😭😭😭 thank u my love

-> username tears

pierregasly thank you for doing something about it because i could NEVER

-> yourusername someone has to go to the counter and say "he asked for no pickles" in this relationship babe ❤️

-> charles_leclerc i have seen you both TREMBLING at the prospect of human interaction

-> yourusername why are u friends with him pierregasly

-> charles_leclerc not just him now 🥰

-> yourusername i am ready to break up with pierre if it means that i can get rid of this annoying parasite

-> charles_leclerc i go, alex goes

-> alexandrasaintmleux no you go away, i go to yourusername

-> yourusername DEVOURED AND BY HIS OWN GF

pierregasly all jokes (charles included) aside, i love you ❤️ thank you for hearing me out instead of pushing me down the stairs of instant death like charles told me you'd do

-> yourusername i love you 🫶🏼 i could never push u down the stairs, stair (singular) maybe but no ☺️

-> username why r u like this 🧍

username everyone cheer her crisis is GONE

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by yourusername, carlossainz55, maxverstappen1 and 2,578,826 others

pierregasly you were my summer love and now you'll be my forever love

tagged yourusername

17,629 comments

username STOP TEARS ARE LEAKING

username can't believe this is the guy u told y/n she was trippin (she was btw ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️)

-> username character development and threats from f1 drivers does wonders to ur personality

username can't believe we're not gonna get anymore petty and bitchy songs anymore 💔💔💔

-> username maybe the petty and bitchy songs were all the comments from this group we collected along the way

username y'all cannot convince me that charles didn't at least TRY to tell y/n to let pierre GO simply bc he's a little shit

-> yourusername can confirm, the reason it didn't work was because then i'd have to AGREE with 🤮 charles 🤮

-> charles_leclerc you act as if i'm not actively gagging while talking to you

-> pierregasly so good to know that the reason i have a LOVING girlfriend is that she just hates my best friend

username pierre will forever be catching strays as long as y/n and charles remain friends 💔

username everyday i wake up and thank the lord that i exist in a world where pierre and y/n are together and that a dying jellyfish was the cause of it all ❤️❤️❤️

username real talk!!!!! how did mama gasly react when y/n told her that her son sucks

-> yourusername i didn't have to, she called me and told me that herself

-> username iconic

-> pierregasly i'm leaving the country and shaving my hair

username "forever love" i will be on the highway don't test me

username god i have seen and noted what u did for the others

username i love it when men are unapologetically in love with their gfs

lewishamilton happy for you both. please tell y/n to return my dog.

-> pierregasly she's currently cuddling roscoe and asking me to tell you to fuck right off

-> lewishamilton godmother privileges PROVOKED

username i will never be able to wrap my head around the fact that lewis hamilton and y/n y/l/n are FRIENDS like how'd THAT happen

-> username do u think they exchange fashion tips and pointers

-> username they deffo talk shit abt charles' fashion choices

-> username they should add him in the gc and TALK to him bc those choices are HORRENDOUS

username y/n 🎤🎤🎤 did u really key his car 🎤🎤🎤

-> yourusername my lawyer advises me to deny this false allegation

-> pierregasly she did something worse.

-> yourusername OKAAYYYYYYY U R NOT ALLOWED TO TALK HERE

-> pierregasly she put glitter ALL over the interiors

-> username WOAHAHSHSKSKSKD

-> username u deserved it 🗣️‼️

username i need a step by step walkthrough of exactly HOW these two got together and i need it NOW

username so when y/n hates publicly on a dude, she manages to make him her bf but when i do it, i make him my mortal enemy??? make it make sense 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

username it is so sexy of me to continue life even when life (instagram) throws obstacles (y/n and pierre being cute and shit) at me

username i will lay in my grave and dream of a love like theirs

-> username aahh haha didn't mean to get so philosophical mb

-> yourusername that was crazy babe

-> username it's true 😔💔

username me patiently waiting for a summer love that will have me ripping my hair off my scalp 🧍

username YOU WERE MYYYYY SUMMER LOOOVEEEEEEE

-> username one direction 🔛🔝

yourusername 4ever is not so bad after all ❤️

-> pierregasly with you it won't ever be enough ❤️

-> yourusername stop making me cry i have a reputation on here 🙁🙁🙁

-> username she says as if her personality isn't js crying over things all day long and being a Hater

-> yourusername OH FUCK OFF

yourusername i love you 🪤

-> pierregasly je t'aime mon cœur but the emoji? (i love you my heart)

-> yourusername it was the closest thing i could find to a tripod

-> landonorris 🔭 this is right here and also GROSS

-> username why are u all like this

yourusername off topic but i accidentally set off the fire alarm and now im locked in the bathroom bc the lock broke and im kinda Panicking

-> pierregasly why are you a fire hazard

-> yourusername THAT'S WHAT UR CONCERNED ABOUT

username i love it when bitches are chaotic like yessss!!!!!!! go and show us that unhinged energy!!!!!!!

#f1 x reader #f1 x female reader #f1 imagines #social media au #fake instagram imagines #pierre gasly blurb #pierre gasly au #pierre gasly imagines #pierre gasly imagine #pierre gasly x reader #pierre gasly x ex!reader #pierre gasly x y/n #pierre gasly x you

821 notes · View notes

shmaptainwrites · 1 month

Text

𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑 [𝐉𝐀𝐌𝐄𝐒 𝐖𝐈𝐋𝐒𝐎𝐍]

PAIRINGS — James Wilson x fem!Reader

SUMMARY — It was never Reader's plan to be a single mother to a newborn child, but a longtime friend steps in and before long they both have the family they've always wanted, the only catch: they're still just friends

WORD COUNT — 13.6K

WARNINGS — mentions of pregnancy and birth, breastfeeding (like non descriptive? does this need to be a warning?)

NOTE — Okay this fic has been in the works for a while and I have been swamped with school so I'm so happy I'm finally able to post something because it's literally been a full-ass month since I last came out with anything ._. hoping once finals are over I can get back into my writing groove and give some of my ideas the attention they deserve!

Middle photo credit goes to @shots-of-wilson-and-whiskey

“Are you sure this is okay?” you looked back while holding a baby carrier in both hands.

“Like I told you back at the hospital, and in the car, and then again in the car, I promise this is okay,” James assured you, following right behind, bags under each arm. “You just went through a 40 hour labour, did you really think it would be a smart move to come home alone?”

He was right about that, physically you were exhausted, you were sure how much longer you could keep your eyes open.

“Go take a shower, I’ll look after her until you get out,” he suggested. “If you had a support person here you would have taken shifts.”

“I know, but you have a life James,” you sighed. “One that didn’t involve your friend getting pregnant and then taking care of her.”

“Would it make it any better if I told you I really don’t mind? I like spending time with you, it’s why we’ve been friends for so long,” he put the bags down by the table and then placed a hand on your shoulder.

“James, I love you, but I’m going to be brutally honest because my filter has vanished. This is what happens to all your wives, all your girlfriends. I really don’t need that happening to us too,” you said.

“It won’t,” he pressed. “Come on, just take the shower. I know you want to.”

You sighed, “Alright, but I’m not gonna call for you to come in the middle of the night and every which time of day. If you want to come and see us, do it of your own accord and if you don’t want to then don’t,” you emphasized. “Do what you want, not what you think I want.”

“If I say I will, will you go take a shower?” James asked and you rolled your eyes at him.

“Don’t drop my baby while I’m in there, okay?” you pointed at him. “You still owe me for that vase you broke.”

“You mean the tacky one your crappy ex-boyfriend’s mom gave you? I think I did you a favour there.”

“You’re insufferable sometimes, you know?” you said carefully putting the carrier down in the living room and looking down at your resting daughter for a moment before heading towards your room.

“I love you too,” he said simply, replacing you by her side and keeping a close eye on her while she slept.

You had to admit, it was a relief to be able to step into the shower, knowing there was someone you trusted outside looking after the small human you were now fully responsible for. At least before dealing with the stress and everything that would come afterwards you’d be able to be clean.

When you came out of your bedroom after your shower, dressed in the most comfortable clothes you could find lying around, you saw James in the kitchen, the carrier now propped up on the table while he unpacked something from some grocery bags.

“I was craving Indian, do you want some?” he asked.

“Of course I do, the food at your hospital sucks, hand it over,” you put your hand out and he gave you a bowl so you could serve yourself some rice and curry. “She’s still asleep?”

“Woke up once, but I got her to fall back asleep pretty easily. She might get hungry soon though too.”

“So I should eat while I still have the chance,” you sat down at the island and began munching on the food, turning around the carrier so you could see your daughter.

It was interesting, she’d been around only for a short few days but you could barely ever take your eyes off her.

“Did you pick a name for her yet?” James asked, leaning over the table and eating his portion of dinner.

“I think so,” you nodded. “I was between two when she was born, but now that I look at her she fits one better than the other.”

“So what’s the winner?”

“Liana,” you smiled and brushed your fingers along her small curled toes. “It suits her doesn’t it?”

“I think it does,” he nodded. “You made a pretty cute baby.”

“I made a very cute baby, thank you very much,” you scoffed with a chuckle. “You think you could do better?”

“Well I don’t have a uterus so I don’t think we’ll ever be able to find out,” he shook his head. “Shame, I probably would have demolished you.”

“As if,” you laughed, continuing to eat more food just as Liana began to stir awake. “And there’s my cue.”

You stood up and carefully took her out of the carrier, cautious of supporting her neck before moving over to the couch where you could comfortably feed her.

“Once you’re done I’ll burp her,” James said. “So you can keep eating.”

“Sure,” you nodded. “Got practice from your med school days?”

“Yeah, actually,” he nodded. “I thought originally I might specialize in working in the NICU so I spent a lot of time in the maternity ward.”

“What made you change your mind?” you asked.

“I would have burnt out,” he admitted. “Seeing babies and spending time with them is one thing, but seeing them sick and sometimes not get better? It’s a lot harder than you’d imagine.”

You hummed thoughtfully, “You would have been good in that department if you decided to go that route. I think at least.”

“Really, why do you think so?”

“James, you’ve always been great with kids and parents. Don’t you remember how we met?”

He chuckled to himself, “Summer camp days. Yeah, you really did have to know your way around both.”

“You somehow managed, as a nineteen-year-old, to calm a child who was freaking out about staying away from home and dealing with an unhappy parent of a different child. I think your people skills just got better as you got older.”

“I don’t think there’s much in life that trains you to deal with crises as much as being a camp counsellor.”

“You can test your skills with Liana and see if you’ve still got the magic when it comes to babies,” you teased, followed by a yawn.

“Trust me, I definitely do,” he assured you. “Babies love me.”

“And do you love babies?”

“I do, and I think I’m gonna end up loving yours a little more than most,” he admitted.

“Good, she’s gonna need it,” you sighed. “I’m gonna need it.”

There was a pause for a moment before James spoke up again,

“Have you talked to him since the break up?” he asked and you shook your head, feeling the tears develop in your eyes.

“I don’t really want to talk about it, not right now,” you whispered, looking down at Liana again.

James did not peg your boyfriend as the abandoning type, but after he had coaxed the news out of you during one of your visits, he could see how much it crushed you to think of what lied ahead. Not because you didn’t want a child, but because Liana was all you wanted and you thought you were on the same page as your partner, but when it came down to things he couldn’t hold up the mask he’d been wearing any longer.

“You should talk about it sometime though, right?” James said softly. “Doesn’t have to be with me, but you’ve been so laser focused on getting through the past nine months you haven’t really processed what happened.”

Liana had since finished feeding and you carried her over to the kitchen island, passing James a burp cloth that he could drape across his shoulder before taking her from your hands, after you pressed a small kiss to her forehead.

“Not sure if I want to process it,” you admitted. “I’d rather focus on her.”

“And I’d rather you take care of yourself so you don’t crash and burn,” he said.

You knew he was right, but it was nicer to pretend you were alone from start to finish than even imagining the possibility that someone was supposed to be with you through everything. The doctors appointments, the morning sickness, the preparation.

Instead you ended up feeling like a burden to your friends who had gone out of their way to help you and be there for you.

“Okay,” you nodded simply. “I’ll do it for you and her then.”

“It’ll end up being for you in the end,” he assured. “But just…trust me on this okay?”

“I do,” you smiled. “Just like I trust you with her.”

You finished eating your dinner while James took care of Liana and even managed to get her to go back to sleep. It seemed that even though she’d only been in the world a short while, she felt just as safe in his arms as she did in yours.

“You can put her down if you want. I have a cot set up in my room,” you pointed.

“I’m alright like this,” he shook his head. “I’ll hold her until you’re done then I’ll leave you guys so you can get some sleep.”

Considering how hungry you were, it didn't take that much longer for you to finish eating and while you cleared up the dishes, James went and put Liana down in her bed and then gathered his things so he could give you some time alone.

“I’ll see you around, James. Thanks for coming to help today,” you gave him a big hug and he held you tight in that way he would when he wanted to say something, but knew it should probably wait.

“Anytime,” he gave you an additional squeeze. “You’re gonna be a great mom. You are a great mom already. I’m really happy for you.”

You couldn’t bring yourself to say any words in response so you just nodded your head and held onto him tighter. After a moment he pulled away and pressed a quick kiss to your cheek.

“Love you, now go get some sleep.”

“You’ve got it Dr. Wilson,” you saluted him.

You walked him out of the door and after closing it shut behind him you took a deep breath. It was going to be hard, but you could do it.

—

A few months later…

“Don’t you have a life?” you yawned, bouncing Liana in your arms to try and get her to fall asleep.

“I mean I went bowling with House last night and I consistently stay late at work, and that’s about it, so no,” James shook his head.

“So you figured that coming and bothering me is a good use of your spare time.”

“I wouldn’t call it bothering,” James gave you a look. “I made you dinner.”

“Yeah you did, and unfortunately it was really good too,” you sighed. “So you just want to hang out with me and Liana?”

“Yeah, is that so hard to believe?”

“A little considering I always have baby vomit on me now,” you chuckled.

“It brings out your eyes,” he teased. “Here, why don’t I take her.”

“Last time I agreed to that you riled her up, which I didn’t think was possible for a three month old,” you eyed him skeptically.

“I promise I’ll put her to sleep,” he crossed his heart.

“Wrong religion, James,” you shook your head and he laughed.

“Do you want me to swear on the Torah?”

“It would help,” you nodded.

“Alright, I swear on the Torah that I won’t rile her up.”

You reluctantly passed Liana over to James and scoffed when she almost immediately stopped fussing.

“See,” he smiled and kissed her small nose while he rocked her gently, making her eyes slowly close as she fell asleep.

“You two are in kahoots. She’s fine whenever you’re not around, but when you are it’s like she knows she can get passed off to you if she’s fussy enough,” you laughed a little. “It’s cute though, I like how much she likes you.”

“Me too, why do you think I keep coming here?”

“So you came to visit, what do you want to do?” you asked. “My plans were to clean the kitchen and do laundry, so not much more exciting than sitting around at home.”

“Why don’t you let me put her down then we can tackle the kitchen together. I mean I did make half of the mess there.”

“I won’t argue with you there,” you sighed and put your hands on your hips. “Okay, I’m gonna throw a load in before you put her down.”

It took a little bit for James to be confident Liana was fully asleep before putting her down in her cot and then meeting you again in the kitchen where you were packing up leftovers from dinner.

“Have you had many visitors?” James asked.

“Well, I do have this one guy that keeps coming around, about this tall, practicing oncology, I think he’s a little bit obsessed with me,” you joked.

“Aside from me,” he shook his head and went over to the dishes.

“Yeah, a few. My parents were here for a bit while you were out of town and then some of my friends have come around to help with a few things here and there and to meet Liana.”

“Nice.”

“You sound like you want to say something,” you looked back at him.

“It’s not too much having me over all the time, is it?”

“No, not at all,” you shook your head. “You know me, I’d tell you if it was.”

“Because I really do like spending time with you both. It’s a lot nicer than going to an empty house at the end of the day,” he admitted. “So if you don’t mind, maybe I can keep bothering you and making a mess in your kitchen.”

“I think that would be okay,” you smiled.

You cleaned in silence for a bit before James began asking a few questions about Liana.

“She had an appointment with her pediatrician recently, right? Everything went okay?”

“Yeah, fit as a fiddle,” you sighed. “Thank goodness.”

“Have you decided if you’re gonna use formula yet? Or will you wait it out?”

“I was actually going to ask you about this, whenever I ask anyone I think has an opinion I’d like to hear they say I need to make the decision myself and then everyone I don’t want to hear from seems to have something to say,” you chuckled. “What do you think? As a doctor?”

“I mean, if I were in your situation I might wait a bit longer, she’s still pretty young and there’s no real reason to switch over yet. I think a lot of people start maybe around 12 months and from what I’ve seen that works well,” he shrugged.

“Thanks for giving me a straight answer,” you placed a hand on his arm. “I also don’t know if I should try and take leave from work or hire a nanny, but I think I probably have to figure that one out myself.”

“Do you have enough savings to take the time off?” he asked.

“I get a few more months paid leave from the company I work for since I have seniority, but after that I have to figure out what to do. I think I have enough saved to last me some time, but I’m going to have to go back eventually.”

James hummed thoughtfully.

“Do you wanna come up with solutions tonight or relax now that we’ve finished cleaning?” he asked, motioning his head to the kitchen that was definitely in better shape than before.

“Let’s watch a movie or something, I don’t think I’ve turned the TV on since Liana was born. I’ll fold the laundry when it’s done while we watch,” you said. “I’ll figure something out later.”

“We should watch, oh jeez what’s that thing we started ages ago and never finished?”

“The really bad soap?” you asked and he nodded, “Oh yes, we’re definitely watching that.”

“Okay, you go get settled, I’m gonna make some tea, do you want some?”

“Sure, just make me whatever you’re having,” you nodded and grabbed the remote from under the pile of blankets on the couch, turning on the TV and trying to find the episodes you had recorded to watch later.

By the time James had finished making the tea, you had found the show and were just about to start it.

“Here,” James passed you the mug. “So what was the last thing that happened?”

“I think the main guy was sleeping with the head nurse, right and then there was the whole thing with her being engaged to the other surgeon and then her sister was in a coma?”

“Wait, I thought the surgeon she was engaged to was sleeping with one of his patients?”

“He was,” you nodded. “It was a whole thing.”

“Alright, just start it, I’m sure I’ll remember more as we watch.”

James was very sorely mistaken, if anything he’d gotten more confused and you were absolutely no help because nothing was making sense anymore.

“What is up with the writing?” you asked. “Like did they just completely forget they had a whole storyline dedicated to this huge procedure and now they’re acting like nothing happened.”

“Don’t get me started, that guy was doing surgery without gloves, like that doesn’t even take much effort to get right. You’d think it was common sense,” James added.

“Maybe we should turn it off,” you looked over at your friend, “it’s getting us all riled up.”

James pressed his lips together, “I know, but I kind of want to find out who’s the father of Paula’s baby.”

You leaned back into the couch, you had managed to fold all the laundry, and it was still a little too early to go to sleep, you supposed a few more episodes couldn’t hurt.

“If I fall asleep, just lock up on your way out, okay?” you looked over at him and he nodded as you started the next episode.

Just as you predicted, about halfway through the second episode you began to drift off, and as soon as James noticed, he stopped the episode already having decided you could finish it together another time.

He shifted you slightly so you were lying down on the couch instead of in the uncomfortable position you were in before, placing a blanket over top of you. He leaned down and pressed a kiss to your cheek, wishing you a good night before going to check on Liana, and after seeing she was sleeping soundly and the baby monitor was on, he saw himself out, taking your spare key from where it was hidden on the porch and locking the door.

—

“How’s my girl doing?” James grinned, scooping Liana out of your arms. “I haven’t seen you in so long,” he kissed her nose making her giggle.

“James, you were here two days ago,” you laughed.

“And it feels like an eternity.”

You crossed your arms over your chest, “She’s got you wrapped around her finger.”

“I don’t mind,” he shrugged. “Just as long as we get to spend time together.”

“Yeah, well she hasn’t napped yet so it can wait until after that,” you reached to take her back but James insisted he could put her to sleep. “James, you just got off work are you sure you don’t want to eat something or take a break for a bit?”

“This is like a break for me,” he assured you.

“Okay, I’m gonna make a salad, come out and eat when you’re done.”

James nodded and went off to the bedroom so he could sit on the armchair there and coax her to sleep.

Usually he didn’t need more than twenty minutes to half an hour to put her down, so when you were hitting the forty-five minute mark you wondered if Liana was being fussy, so you went to check in on them, instead seeing James fast asleep on the armchair with Liana snuggled against his chest.

You bit back a big smile and went to go grab your camera quickly, and quietly snapped a shot of the two of them.

Not wanting to wake either of them, you made your way back to the kitchen, shutting the door of the room behind you to make sure the sound didn’t travel.

Figuring it might be a while before James came back out, you decided to eat your dinner, that way you could take Liana from him when they woke up so he could get something to eat too.

As you had predicted, James exited the room about an hour later, Liana now awake and hungry for her own dinner.

“Want me to take her now?” you teased and he rolled his eyes while you took your baby from him, sitting on the couch to feed her while he grabbed himself something to eat. “You had a good nap?”

“Great actually, I think I needed it. Been pulling a lot of late nights at the office getting paperwork done,” he admitted. “I’m surprised you didn’t wake me.”

“You looked comfortable, I didn’t want to bother you.”

“Well, I appreciate it cause I needed the sleep,” he sighed and came and sat next to you while he began to eat his dinner.

“James, I…I tried to talk to him the other week,” you said, knowing he would be able to connect the dots back to your ex. “I’d been meaning to tell you, it just slipped my mind I guess.”

“You did…what did he say?”

“God, I’m gonna start crying again,” you let out a humourless chuckle and lifted a hand to wipe away the tears beginning to form in your eyes. “It doesn’t matter what he said. What matters is that it was probably good that we broke up. He wouldn’t have been a good father or husband for that matter when it came down to it.”

“I’m proud of you for reaching out anyways. It takes a lot of guts to do that after someone leaves you.”

You nodded your head, “I’m just…I know I said you should keep coming here because you want to, but I really do like having you around. It just makes it seem simpler. Easier,” you looked over at him. “You’re a good friend Jamie, I love you.”

“Love you too,” he leaned over and pressed a kiss to your forehead, watching as your attention turned back to your daughter as she finished feeding.

You held her just like that in your arms for a little while longer, watching as she reached out for your fingers and then tried to go even further to grab James. Clearly her attention was addictive because he was ready to put his food down to help burp her, but you made a teasing remark about him hogging her and that he needed to eat his food so you’d take care of it and he could have her when he was done.

Eventually, you traded Liana for James’ dishes and went to load the dishwasher while he kept her occupied, letting her gnaw on his tie while making all sorts of nonsensical baby noises that James took as conversation starters.

It was funny to watch the two have what looked like a full blown conversation and you were sure James had been reading some parenting magazine or another that spoke of helping babies develop linguistic abilities.

“Hey James,” you crossed your arms over your chest, leaning against the wall.

“Yeah?”

“Do you want a key?”

“A key to what?” he looked at you confused.

“The house,” you said. “I just thought since you’re here all the time you can come and go whenever you want and if you forget something and I’m out you can come get it yourself.”

“A key,” he thought about it. “This feels like a big milestone moment.”

“I mean I already have the key to your place, but that was because you refused to have anyone look after you after you got your wisdom teeth removed.”

“Wait, you have my key?”

“Yeah, I just took yours and had it copied,” you shrugged.

“I feel like I should be a bit more concerned about this, but I’m not.”

“It’s because you’re friends with House, you’re used to it,” you waved him off.

“Liana, did you know your mom’s a thief?” he looked down at the baby in his arms and you rolled your eyes.

“Do you want the key or not?”

“I’ll take it, and I guess you can keep mine, but I’m never there anyways.”

“It’s okay, I’ll just use it if I need to steal your social insurance card to commit identity theft.”

“Liana banana, your mom’s being very silly tonight,” James picked her up and held her out in front of him before bringing her down to press a few kisses to her face, making her giggle. “It’s okay, we still love mommy even though she’s silly, right?”

“You better,” you flicked his shoulder as you walked by after grabbing an ice cream sandwich from the freezer.

“Hey, I’ve got something in my bag I forgot to give you, do you mind bringing it over here?” James asked, motioning to the briefcase on the armchair closest to the front door.

You nodded your head and stood up again to grab it and pass it to him. He rummaged through it with one hand while still holding Liana before passing you what looked like a receipt.

“Uh thanks?” you looked a little confused.

“Read what it’s for,” James chuckled. “They’ll get delivered next week.”

“James,” you put the receipt down. “You didn’t.”

“You’ve been talking about it for four months, I had to do something,” he shrugged. “And I didn’t get you anything for your baby shower.”

“Because you planned it,” you laughed. “Seriously this is a lot. I don’t know if I can accept this.”

“Just think of it this way. I’m here all the time, we like to go out with Liana together and it’s a great stroller with good safety ratings.”

“Okay sure you’ll use that, but the cot too?”

“The one you have in there’s been recalled, I was just doing you a favour,” he said.

You chuckled a little, pressing your lips together. “Liana, my darling, we are very spoiled.”

“I’ll come over when it gets delivered and help set it up,” James said.

“I still don’t know what to say, James, this is…really generous of you.”

“Believe me, right now nothing makes me happier, and I mean that,” he reached out a hand to you and you took it, giving it a gentle squeeze.

As promised, the next week James was back at your home to help set up the stroller and the cot and you figured it would be the right time to pull out that camcorder your father had gotten you to help record some memories you were making with Liana.

“Hey, James wanna tell the camera what you’re doing?”

“Wondering why I didn’t get a degree in engineering apparently.” he mumbled while hunched over some instructions, a pencil behind his ear and his sleeves rolled up to his elbows.

“What does your assistant think?” you moved the camera over to Liana, sitting in a rocking seat that was propped up next to James.

“That this video isn’t going to be very good for my image in the future. This stuff is worse than IKEA,” he scratched the back of his head.

“You’re doing great,” you assured him and came to give him an encouraging side hug. “Alright, let me stop this video and we can try and tackle it together.”

You put the camera down on the bed and looked over the instructions with James, having a bit of an easier time piecing things together compared to him, so in the end you were put on deciphering the instructions while he assembled the cot.

An embarrassing amount of time later, the cot was completely assembled (only after having to disassemble it all the first time because there was one piece left over and you had no idea what step you had missed using it), and you carefully placed Liana inside to see how it would hold up.

“You know they say you can be proud of something you built with your own two hands, but I’m afraid this is going to fall apart,” James said.

“We followed the instructions really carefully, it should be fine,” you said, trying to convince yourself. “And Liana looks comfortable in there, look at her she’s giggling.”

“I think that’s because we look like we’ve been building a house or something,” he looked between you, seeing your dirty clothes and messed up hair.

“Who knew putting together a cot would be so labour intensive,” you chuckled. “I think we can safely say we deserve some takeout. What do you want?”

“Anything, I’m starving,” James sat down on the edge of the bed. “You think this will help her sleep a little better?”

“Let’s hope so,” you rubbed your temples. “You coming?” you asked, taking Liana out of the cot and carrying her out towards the door.

“Yeah, I’ll be out in a minute,” he nodded and you left him in the room, staring at the wooden baby’s bed in front of him. It was a simple thing you had both made together, but for James, it was starting to feel like so much more than just that.

You built a cot, but what did building a cot mean? What did it mean that he bought it for you without a second question or a moment’s hesitation? What did it mean that he couldn’t seem to wipe the smile off his face every single time he stepped into this house?

It probably meant a lot of things, but at the moment, to James, it felt like he had a family and he’d hold onto that for as long as he was able to.

—

As much as you wished it could be, not every day was easy. Today was one of those days at the end of a long week and you wanted nothing more than to collapse and call it quits.

Something was wrong with Liana, she was never this fussy, but all the doctors would just repeat the same thing over and over again.

She has colic.

You have a colic-y baby.

Your baby has colic. She’s going to be fine.

She didn’t sound fine. Not when she would cry and cry and you didn’t know what was happening or how to make her feel better. It made your heart feel tight and constricted especially when all you could do was bounce and rock her in hopes that it might soothe whatever was going on inside her.

You were so focused on the sounds of the crying baby you didn’t hear the door unlock as James entered the house. After putting down his bags, he followed the sound of the crying before finding you in the rocking chair in your room, gently hushing Liana to try and coax her back to sleep.

“James,” you tried to stand up when you noticed he was there, but he rushed over to your side, placing a hand on your shoulder and encouraging you to sit back down. “I’m afraid we’re not really having a fun day today. You might want to just go home and rest,” you suggested.

“What’s going on?” he asked.

“James, I’m serious I-,”

“Hey,” he said gently, quieting you as a hand came to hold your cheek. “Talk to me, mom. What’s happening?”

You pressed your lips together and shook your head.

“I don’t know,” you let the tears spill from your eyes, just as they were for Liana, but you basked in the comfort James’ simple action offered. “She just keeps crying and I don’t know what’s wrong. T-They kept saying she has colic, but this isn’t colic, James.”

He nodded his head and wiped away your tears while trying to think of a solution to the problem in front of you.

“I have an idea, just give me a second, I’ll be right back.”

James went off to the kitchen and came back with a bit of a white powder on his finger. He helped you sit Liana up before getting her to eat a little bit of it.

“What is that?”

“Just baking soda. I saw this in a few babies. Doctors think it’s colic, but it’s reflux. Have you been eating anything different from usual?” he asked.

“Me?”

“Yeah, it might be something she’s allergic to getting in the breast milk,” he explained while rubbing Liana’s back. “Here let me take her so you can have a break. Go to the kitchen, get some water and write down a list of what you’ve been eating recently and we’ll go over it and see if we can find anything that lines up with her fussiness.”

“Are you sure?”

“I’ll survive,” he nodded.

You passed over your baby to him and made your way out of the room, following James’ suggestion and noticing how with a little bit of time her crying had quieted down and instead was replaced by softer sniffles and a much nicer sound. It drew you away from the list you were leaning over and back to the door of the bedroom where you leaned in the frame and watched and listened while James, with his back turned to you, sang a soft lullaby to Liana.

I love you forever, I’ll like you for always, as long as I’m living, my baby you’ll be.

Over and over like a prayer until Liana’s sniffles had faded and there was only silence.

He carefully put her back in her bed, waiting a few moments to make sure she was really sleeping, before turning back and seeing you standing in the doorway.

When he made his way up to you, you reached out and pulled him into as tight of a hug as you’d ever given him. You held onto the sleeves of your shirt while one arm came under his and across his back with the other around his neck, holding him as close to you as you possibly could.

“You okay?” James asked and you nodded your head, silently while a few more tears streamed down your face.

“I will be.”

“I-,” James faltered for a moment, but he said it anyway. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Three words he had said so many times, that had meant a particular thing when he said them to you, but now he couldn’t help but feel like they meant something a little different.

You both stayed like that a moment longer before you pulled apart, wiping away your tears and going back to your list to see if James’ theory could be correct.

“Maybe try cutting these ones out of your diet,” he suggested. “See if she gets any better and if not call me and I’ll get her an appointment with one of the pediatricians at the hospital.”

“Okay,” you nodded. “I just don’t get why they kept saying colic like is that just some doctor term for I don’t know what’s wrong, but your baby is fussy?”

“I don’t know,” James shook his head, “but don’t ever let anyone bully you into not trusting your gut. She’s your daughter and you know her best.”

“You seem to know her pretty well too. You took one look at her and managed to help her when I couldn’t,” you pinched the bridge of your nose.

“Coincidence,” he patted your shoulder.

“Give yourself a little credit. You’re with her a lot too, it’s part of why I trust your judgement so much when it comes to her. I know you’re not just going to tell me some medical mumbo jumbo you…you’re with her, you see how she is, you know.”

“I don’t know how you managed to hold it together so well,” James said. “I was in there with her for twenty minutes and I wanted to cry right with her.”

“It’s so hard,” you shook your head. “You can tell she’s uncomfortable, that something’s wrong, but she can’t tell you what.”

James nodded his head, “Before you know it she’ll be walking and talking and hopefully it’ll be a lot easier to understand what she needs.”

“It’s hard to imagine that,” you chuckled. “She is growing so fast though.”

“And you’re doing a great job,” James wrapped an arm around your shoulder and you took a deep breath. You wanted to correct him and say ‘we’re doing a great job’, but everything about this felt so delicate. It wasn’t his responsibility to parent Liana and you didn’t want to pressure him into thinking that it had become that, but regardless you felt like he’d been around so much it would be wrong to give yourself full credit for everything.

“It takes a village,” you settled on saying, extending your arm so it was wrapped around him as well. “Speaking of a village, I need to hire a nanny.”

“So you’re going to go back to work?” he asked and you nodded.

“Just part time for now. Pay is good enough. I should be fine with that for a while.”

“Good,” James nodded. “Do you need help going through resumes?”

“Nah, Janine is taking care of that for me, her boyfriend works with the police so free background checks. She’s gonna send me a short list and then I’ll interview them.”

You looked up at James and chuckled,

“You seem surprised.”

“I didn’t know you outsourced to other people too,” he teased.

“Are you jealous, Jamie?” you tickled his sides a little bit. “Come on, you know you’re my number one. Can you seriously tell me you could have gotten police-level background checks on nannies?”

“I could have tried.”

“I appreciate the sentiment, but I’m gonna save you from this job so you can help me with other stuff, okay?” you turned him around and patted his chest. “I love you, James, but you can’t do it all. I have to look out for you too.”

“You don’t have to look after me,” he assured you. “You’ve got a lot on your plate, I can take care of myself.”

“James, that’s the whole point of this,” you pointed between you. “I’m not about to let it be one-sided.”

“Is that why you keep packing me lunches?” he asked.

“Maybe,” you shrugged. “And it's kind of fun leaving you little notes.”

“House thinks I’m seeing someone because of what you put in the last one. He steals my food, you know.”

“I’ll just pack double next time,” you laughed.

James smiled at the sound of your laughter, savouring the moment of levity he was able to bring you after a long and hard few days.

You looked back up at him once your laughter had died down and filled with a quiet sense of gratitude, you could help but lean into his side, sighing contentedly and it made you feel warm to the touch when his arm wrapped around you and pulled you in closer.

Things may not have been simple or easy, but at least they felt right.

—

James was just about to leave his office to get some food in the cafeteria when he heard the phone ring, keeping him seated at his desk so he could answer.

“Hello, Oncology Department. Dr. James Wilson speaking.”

“James, it’s me,” you said quickly, almost like you were in a hurry.

“Is something wrong?” he asked.

“Nothing dire,” you sighed. “My nanny got sick and my backup nanny is out of town and I have this huge meeting at work I cannot miss, but I-I don’t have anyone to look after Liana. I hate to ask this, you know I wouldn’t bug you unless it was a real emergency, but can I bring her by? Just for two maybe three hours tops. Then I’ll come grab her and she can be in my office with me for the rest of the day.”

“Yeah, of course, bring her over,” James nodded. “I have a few patient consults today, but nothing too strenuous or contagious for a small baby.”

“James, are you sure? I feel really bad asking-,”

“It’s fine. Today was going to be boring anyway, I could use some Liana time to spice things up.”

“James, I love you, you’re a lifesaver,” you breathed a sigh of relief. “I owe you one okay? Cash it in whenever.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” he chuckled. “I’m gonna go grab a quick bite to eat. I’ll meet you in my office when you come.”

“Great, see you then.”

You both hung up and when James came back upstairs you were just arriving at his office with Liana strapped in her car seat and a bag slung around your shoulder.

“Okay, I’ve got snacks, and a carrier, and her toys, and-,”

“Goodness, take a breath,” James chuckled. “We’re gonna be fine, I’ve looked after her before.”

“I know, I know. I’m just nervous about this meeting and rushing around to get everything prepped and then the nannies fell through,” you took a deep breath to try and slow your heart down and James put a hand on your shoulder assuring you everything was going to be alright.

“You’re gonna kill it at that meeting, alright?” he pulled you in for a quick hug.

“Thanks again, I seriously appreciate and love you and your big fat heart.”

“Thanks, I think,” he chuckled again. “I love you too.”

You kissed your hand and tapped it on his cheek before doing the same for Liana who smiled and James took a moment to stare out the door and watch you as you left the room, still feeling his heart beating a little faster after having said I love you.

Ever since the day he came over when Liana was having a hard time, his heart would race and his palms would get sweaty every time he’d say those three words, knowing he meant it in a different way than he had been saying it all these years.

“Liana banana, what am I gonna do,” James sighed and bent down so he was at eye level with her. “Do you think your mom knows?”

Liana babbled a response.

“Me neither,” he sighed. “It’s okay though, cause we’re gonna have a fun day right?”

He unclipped her from the seat after fastening the baby carrier to his back to begin with before propping her up and clipping her inside.

Once he was content with that, he checked the time and noticed he was almost late for a meeting with a patient who was staying at the hospital for treatment.

James made his way down the halls, knowing not many would question him about the baby on his back, that was aside from his boss who now seemed to be walking directly towards him.

He quickly took a detour into an empty room and thinking he lost her, let out a breath only to be startled when the door opened and Cuddy was standing in front of him.

“Wilson,” she started.

“Mhmm.”

“What’s on your back?” she asked, trying to get a better look, but James simply turned around.

“Oh it’s just a backpack,” he lied, only to be immediately ratted out by Liana’s nonsensical sounds.

“You have a talking backpack?” Cuddy looked at him skeptically.

“No, it’s a tumour. I’m dying,” he lied again, even more poorly than before.

Cuddy sighed, “Are we gonna get sued for it?”

James pressed his lips together and shook his head.

“Will someone get mad at you for it?”

He shook his head again.

“Is House involved?”

A third time.

“Okay,” she nodded slowly. “I won’t question your…talking backpack tumour.”

James nodded his head and Cuddy left the room which hopefully meant he was in the clear for the rest of the day.

Liana had other ideas and decided she didn’t like being in the carrier on his back anymore and began to cry. James wondered what was different, he’d done this with her before, but perhaps it was the new environment and she just wanted to be where she could see him.

So after some maneuvering, he changed the positioning of the carrier and put Liana back inside and she seemed much more relaxed afterwards.

When he got to his patient he apologized for being late, but they were more focused on the child that James had yet to introduce.

“Sorry, I’m a little all over the place right now,” he chuckled. “This is Liana, she’s going to be joining us today.”

“Is she your daughter?” he asked, seeing the way James smiled and held her when he introduced her.

“No,” James shook his head. “She’s the daughter of one of my close friends. I’m just doing her a favour today.”

“Either way, it’s always nice to see someone smiling and happy around here.”

“Yeah, I thought so too,” James nodded.

“How old is she?”

“Six months as of two weeks ago.”

“They grow fast, don’t they?”

James smiled and nodded, “They sure do.”

They continued their consult, and before long James wrapped things up and headed back to his office to meet with another patient.

This time around he was feeding and burping Liana throughout the meeting and it felt so much like second nature to him, it didn’t take him away at all from the questions the patient was asking, and much like he expected, having a baby in the room was a nice distraction from the heavy subject matter.

He got through the next few patients with ease, and he felt lucky that House only decided to come in after all his meetings were over.

“Is that a baby?” House squinted, looking at Liana who was calmly playing with a toy in James’ lap.

“No, it’s an alien,” he deadpanned and House ignored his comment.

“Why do you have a baby? That must be breaking some hospital rule.”

“Since when do you care about rules?”

“Cause rules are there to protect us,” House said sarcastically. “Is this the one you spend all your free time with?”

“Her name is Liana,” James said while standing up and moving to put her in her car seat for a moment. “House, I’m gonna ask you to do something and I’m going to trust that you won’t blow this up in my face.”

“Go on.”

“I need to use the washroom, but you’ve seen the way they get cleaned here, I don’t want to bring Li with me,” he said. “Can you watch her for five minutes? You don’t even have to do anything, just stare at her in the carrier.”

House thought about it for a moment before eventually agreeing, James completely oblivious to his friend’s ulterior motive.

House first sat across from her, turning her car seat around on the table so it was facing him. They stared at each other for a few moments before House stood up and grabbed a picture from one of James’ shelves, sitting back down in front of her.

“You’re probably too young to do this, but never too young to learn, right?”

Liana had no response.

“You see this guy?” House pointed to James in the photo. “He’s dada, right?”

House continued to prompt her, even though he knew she was too young to speak, thinking this would make a great prank if he played his cards right.

House continued to go back and forth with Liana between her babbles, until he heard James begin to open the door of the office.

“Everything okay?” he asked.

“Perfect,” House nodded. “Your daughter’s an angel.”

James frowned, unable to tell if House was being sarcastic or not, but he was quickly distracted by the frame in his hand.

“Why do you have that picture?” James came closer and took it from him.

“Oh, just trying to pass the time with a story.”

“The story of what exactly? This is just a picture of me with my parents.”

“I don’t know I made something up, she’s a baby, she won’t remember,” House insisted before leaving the office before James could ask any more questions.

A little confused by the encounter, he made his way over to Liana who was reaching out for him.

He checked the time, seeing as your meeting should probably have been over by then and decided to give you a call.

“Hey, I was just about to come and pick Liana up,” you said.

“Yeah, about that, do you just want to leave her with me for the rest of the day?” he asked. “She’s been really good and honestly I think the patients have been loving seeing a baby around.”

“James, it’s fine, my meeting is over. I can come get her,” you said.

James pressed his lips together before gathering the nerve to say what he was going to say.

“I actually would really like it if she could stay with me,” he said. “If you’re okay with it.”

You paused, “This isn’t just some round about way for you to find a way to give me a break?” you asked.

“No, I’m really happy she’s here. I was going to come over after work anyways.”

“You still have the car seat hookup in your car?” you asked and he confirmed. “Okay, call me if you need anything, Jamie.”

“I will, and thank you.”

“Just don’t break her, okay, she’s not replaceable,” you teased.

“I’ll bring her back in one piece,” James chuckled. “We’ll be fine, right Li?”

James gave her a little tickle so that you could hear her laugh in response and you couldn't help but smile before saying goodbye and feeling more at ease leaving her with James than you ever had leaving her with a babysitter.

—

It always felt interesting coming back to Princeton-Plainsboro after you had given birth to Liana. It brought back a lot of memories, both good and maybe not so great of your pregnancy, but recently you and Liana had been visiting a little more often to have lunch with James when you weren’t working.

Today wasn’t one of those days, you were actually just on your way back home after running a few errands and since you were in the area you thought you might stop in and talk to James about that evening.

When you went by his office you peeked inside and noticed he wasn’t there and before you could decide the best course of action, you heard a semi familiar voice behind you.

“You looking for Wilson?”

You turned around and saw House standing in front of you.

“Yeah, actually. Do you know where he is?”

“I think he just went to Cuddy’s office,” he said.

“Alright, I’ll head back downstairs then,” you smiled and were about to haul Liana’s car seat with you, but House stopped you.

“If you want I can look after her in my office,” he said.

“Really?” you seemed a little surprised from the offer, but figured it couldn’t be too bad to leave her with him for five minutes.

“Sure,” House nodded, making it seem like it was no big deal, when really he had already pocketed a picture of James and was looking for another opportunity to continue his prank.

“Alright, I’ll be back in a few minutes,” you said while walking over to his office and putting her car seat on the main table before walking down the hallways and over to the elevator to go and find James, but just to your luck, he was coming out just as you had planned to enter. “Hey, I was looking for you,” you smiled.

“Oh, I didn’t realize you were coming, did we make plans?” he asked, worried he’d forgotten about something.

“No, I was just in the area and, well my mom and dad are coming over for dinner tonight, I was wondering if you wanted to join us.”

“Dinner sounds nice,” James nodded. “And I haven’t seen your parents in a while, I just seem to miss them every time they come into town.”

“Yeah, that’s why I thought I’d ask, also maybe as a warning in case you wanted to get as far away as you could,” you chuckled.

“Come on, they’re not that bad,” he nudged you.

“Most of the time, but then again, you’re not their child.”

“Wait, where’s Liana?” James asked. “With a sitter at home?”

“No, I left her with House.”

James’ eyes went wide, “You left her with House?”

“Yeah, what’s the big deal?” you chuckled as James began to walk towards House’s office to make sure he wasn’t up to one of his many schemes. “James he offered!” you called back and that only made him walk faster.

It took you a minute to catch up with him, but by that time he was already interrogating House who was simply sitting in front of Liana.

“Can't I offer to look after my friend’s friend’s baby?” House asked.

“Usually someone could, but when that person is you you may see why I think you have some ulterior motive.”

“James what’s going on?” you asked, coming closer to House. “Liana’s fine, I don’t know why you’re being so dramatic.”

“Yeah, listen to single mom over here,” he pointed to you.

James backed off if only for your sake, but he still kept a close eye on House as you picked up Liana’s car seat and told James you’d see him after his shift was over.

He nodded his head and you exchanged a kiss on the cheek before heading out.

“You’re really telling me you’re not getting some of that on the side?” House asked.

“House, drop it,” James was unamused. “I know you’re up to something, I just don’t know what.”

“I guess you’re just going to have to wait and find out,” House shrugged. “In the meantime may I suggest you go get your freak on with the mom? You know she probably hasn’t slept with anyone since that kid was conceived, I’m sure you’d have an easy time convincing her.”

“Shut up, House,” James rolled his eyes and left the office before he could suggest anything more obscene.

He was thankful when the end of his shift came, and before heading to your place he made a stop at the store to buy some flowers and dessert to bring over.

By this point, it was such a habit, he never knocked, just opened the door with his key and announced his presence to whoever was in the house.

“Hey Liana, look who’s here,” you smiled and pointed to James while Liana was being held by your mother.

Liana became very excited at the sight of him and he quickly put down the things he brought on the table before saying his greetings and giving special attention to Liana by means of a kiss on her nose and caress of her face.

“Do you want something to drink?” you asked. “Mom and dad brought some fancy-looking sparkling fruit juice.”

“I could go for some of that,” James nodded. “How have you guys been, I missed you the last time you were in town.”

“We’ve been good,” your dad nodded.

“Unfortunately our granddaughter doesn’t come to visit us very much,” your mom gave you a bit of a look and you rolled your eyes.

“Mom, you guys are retired, I have a job, why don’t we keep this ‘you visit me’ arrangement a while longer until my life sorts itself out a bit more.”

“She’s not wrong, honey,” your dad came and patted his wife’s shoulder.

“I know, I just wish we got to see Liana more. We should come down more often.”

“What about you, James, anything new in your life?”

James looked over at you before shaking his head.

“No, still working at the same place still…”

“Trying to find the right person,” you filled in for him, placing a hand on his shoulder and handing him his drink.

“Yeah,” he nodded with a soft smile and couldn’t help but laugh a little internally at the irony. Maybe the right person had been there all along, the person he’d never once pulled away from, the person he let take care of him, the person who he’d realized he’d most definitely fallen in love with, but risking things between you was out of the question so he would have to be content with the way things were.

“You’re the head of your department, right?” your mom asked and James nodded. “Wow, that’s quite something, your parents must be proud of you.”

“Yes, it never fails to come up in conversation with my mother,” he chuckled.

Liana began to fuss a little bit in her grandmother’s arms and after a few failed attempts at calming her down James offered to take over.

“Are you sure, honey?” she asked. “She gets a bit cranky and it’s hard to calm her down.”

“Don’t worry mom, James is an expert,” you assured her.

James nodded and confirmed he was sure before gently bouncing Liana until she stopped crying and wiping away whatever tears of hers were remaining.

“She seems very attached to you,” your dad remarked and James looked down at Liana who now had her head resting against his chest.

“The feeling’s quite mutual,” James chuckled. “Does she need to be fed?” he asked you.

“Yeah we’re probably getting close to that time now, I’ll warm up the bottle. Maybe I can feed her and you can deal with the sauce on the stove, it’s missing something and I can’t place it.”

“Sure,” James nodded and waited for you to heat up Liana’s bottle before passing her over and taking a turn at the stove.

Your parents watched your interactions curiously and shared a few looks between themselves, but chose to say nothing. They’d known James since you were both nineteen and a lot of things had happened since then, but a lot of time had passed too. It was interesting how your comfort with each other in friendship had so naturally extended itself in this way that you were practically functioning as a family whether you noticed it, or maybe deliberately chose to ignore it.

After you fed Liana and burped her, she was quick to fall asleep and you placed her in her cot in your room before joining James and your parents in the kitchen where they were bringing things to the dining room to lay them out on the table.

“This looks really delicious sweetheart, thank you for making dinner,” your dad said. “And you too James for taking over there in the home stretch.”

“For all we know it could have tasted terrible before he came in so he can take the credit for that,” you chuckled.

“No, I gave it a taste before adding anything. It just needed a little something sour to balance some things out, otherwise it was perfect,” he assured you.

Dinner with your parents was mostly small talk. They shared a little about some of your relatives they had recently spoken to or visited and asked James how his family was doing and they left fairly early to start the drive back home.

“I’ll load the dishes you put away the leftovers?” James yawned and you chuckled.

“How about I do both since I had a day off and you go and lay down for a bit,” you suggested.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about I’m fine,” James waved his hand but yawned again.

“Go to sleep, James. That’s not a suggestion,” you walked up to him. “My ex left some sweatpants here you can change into those and take off this button up,” you tugged at his shirt.

James pressed his lips together and nodded his head, before heading over to the bedroom and quietly getting changed before climbing into bed and not fighting the sleep that came.

He initially wasn’t sure how much later it was when he woke up, but by the looks of it much too late to go come considering you were next to him, despite being groggy, he had a million and one things crossing his mind, but all of those were thrown out when he heard Liana begin to cry.

You shifted next to him, waking up to go and take care of it, but James put an arm on your shoulder.

“I’ve got it, go back to sleep,” he assured you.

You were too tired to argue with him and let your head hit the pillow again while he stood up and picked Liana up from her crib, heading out to the kitchen so he could heat up a bottle for her before coming back and sitting in the chair to feed her.

You watched the scene in front of you and you felt yourself wanting to memorize every detail. How he held her, the quiet things he whispered, the way she curled into his arms while he stood up and rocked her back to sleep.

When he came back to the bed he noticed you were awake and he let out a soft chuckle and you smiled looking up at him with his messy hair. Suddenly you were nineteen again and banging on the door of cabin 3 trying to wake your fellow counsellor to come and deal with an emergency. To you he looked the same as he did all those years ago.

“I told you to go back to sleep.”

“Not everyone can fall asleep instantly,” you yawned with a chuckle.

“You didn’t wake me up to leave,” he said quietly, his head resting on his hand that propped him up.

“You always look so peaceful when you sleep, I feel evil whenever I have to wake you up,” you remarked, but behind your eyes if he could see through the darkness of the room, he would have seen them saying something else. That you wanted him to stay, you didn’t want to wake him up because you wanted to wake up next to him. “You don’t mind do you?”

“That you’re making me do the walk of shame in the morning?” James teased and shook his head.

“Just shut up and go back to sleep, Jamie,” you yawned with a chuckle.

He moved so he was laying down on his back with an arm behind his head and you couldn’t tear your eyes away from him. Maybe he could feel you staring because he reached his other arm out and pulled you closer and you moved with him until your head rested against his chest, your arm draped over top of him.

He gave you a gentle squeeze with the arm that was wrapped around you and pressed a kiss to the top of your head.

“Goodnight, Jamie,” you mumbled into his shirt.

You couldn’t see how he looked down and smiled at you after you said that, all that filled your ears was a quiet, “Goodnight.”

—

“I haven’t seen you in a few days, how have you been?”

James sat on the carpet of the living room, playing with Liana who was crawling around him while you brought over two mugs of tea so you could chat while you entertained the growing baby.

“Good for the most part, just had a patient who wasn’t doing so great so I spent some extra time at the hospital to keep an eye on things. Not to mention House has been bugging me to go out and it’s been a while so I figured what’s the harm.”

“He got you plastered and you made a fool of yourself, didn’t he?” you asked and James nodded while you laughed. “Liana, did James go out with House and act like an idiot?” you tickled the ten month old and she giggled before coming closer to you, tapping on your legs with her hands.

“Don’t listen to your mama, Li, she’s trying to-,”

“Mama,” Liana repeated after James had spoken and you both stopped dead in your tracks.

You looked over at James and his smile was just as wide as yours before you picked Liana up and smothered her with kisses.

“Liana, look at you! You said your first word!”

“Good job, Liana banana,” James grinned and gave her cheek a little pinch which made her reach out to him and say,

“Dada.”

You both had a similar reaction to what happened moments ago, only this time it was pure shock. Maybe you had misheard her, but when she repeated herself, James could feel his heart drop to the pit of his stomach.

“I-I don’t know where she learnt that from,” he told you. “I swear I didn’t teach her that.”

It took a minute for the shock to fade away for you, but once it did you tried to assure James that it was okay.

“I believe you,” you said. “I-I don’t know where she picked it up from, but it’s okay.”

James chewed on his lip, it wasn’t okay though because he wanted nothing more than to hear Liana say that again.

“It’s not though,” James said softly. “I love her, but I’m not her dad. That’s not fair to her or to you.”

“Jamie,” you pleaded with him, but he still seemed stuck on something.

“I’m really sorry,” he apologized again. “I feel like I ruined a special moment.”

“I’m trying to tell you it really doesn’t matter,” you assured him, you could see it in his eyes, he wanted to leave, to let you have time alone, but you didn’t want to be alone, you wanted him to stay with you. “Please…please stay.”

James reached out his hand to hold yours and was about to give you his answer when his pager went off.

Your heart clenched and you watched as he read the message and sighed, standing up because he was needed again at the hospital.

“Your patient?” you asked, picking Liana up and standing next to him.

He nodded his head, “They were scheduled for an unrelated surgery and there were some complications, I have to go.”

You understood and James wrapped you in a tight hug and you kissed his cheek.

“I love you, Jamie.”

“I love you too,” he whispered, wishing he could hold onto you and never let you go, but instead he was pulled away from your warm embrace wondering how on earth Liana had learnt to call him dad.

—

“You look like you haven’t slept in days, spending time with the baby again?” House asked, waltzing into James’ office.

“No, I haven't been over in a few days,” James shook his head.

“You haven’t been over in a few days…Something happened,” House deduced and James gave him a look.

“Nothing happened. I’m just taking a break,” he lied.

“You’ve been going non-stop to spend time with them since the baby was born ten months ago, why do you need a break now?”

“Because I have a lot on my mind and there’s a few new patients I need to focus on-,”

“You’re lying.”

“Yes I am,” James admitted and House grinned.

“Really?”

“No, I’m not,” he shook his head and continued to look down and do his work.

“We do this every single time and every single time I’m right,” House said. “Why don’t we save the back and forth for another time and just skip to the part where you tell me what’s going on.”

“Oh really and you were right that time you thought I was cheating on my wife and she was the one cheating on me?” he asked.

“Okay, so I’m not perfect,” House shrugged. “What happened, Wilson? I could just as easily get your friend’s number and ask directly if that’s what you’d prefer.”

“God no,” James shook his head. “Leave her alone, she doesn’t need to deal with you on top of working and raising a child.”

“Alright then, what happened?”

James took a deep breath and sighed, “Liana called me dad the other day. I have no idea where she learnt it from.”

“She started speaking,” House nodded, pressing his lips together. “Was it her first word or-,”

“Second. She said mom first,” James said, but caught a glimpse of his friend trying to fight back a smile and suddenly all the offers to take care of Liana paired with the photographs made sense. “You taught her!” he exclaimed. “House I can’t believe you’d pull a prank on me by manipulating my friend’s baby!”

“Oh come on, it’s not that big of a deal,” House rolled his eyes.

“House, I cannot believe you!”

“You’re not mad at me,” House shook his head. “You’re just mad you liked it.”

“No I’m-,”

“Yes, you are,” the diagnostician emphasized. “You’ve been sitting here tearing yourself apart for the past four days because she called you dad and you liked it. You’re mad at yourself for liking it because she’s not your kid.”

“No,” James quieted down. “She’s not.”

“You haven’t gone back because you’re afraid to hear her say it again, aren’t you?”

“Since when did you become an expert on my personal problems, House? You caused this, why should I listen to anything you have to say?”

“Because you’re being an idiot. You’re punishing yourself for liking something. Do you realize how insane that sounds?”

“It’s not insane, House, she’s not my baby-,”

“Sure, she’s not your baby and you have her feeding and nap routine memorized. You’ve been to her doctor's appointments, she’s calmer in your arms than she is in the arms of her grandparents. Yeah, go and tell that to any moron sitting out there and they’ll tell you for me, you’re being an idiot.”

James sighed again, “And why do you care?”

“Because once you’re done with this spiral we can go back to the way things were when you weren’t a boring depressed lump.”

“How kind of you,” James faked a smile.

House’s pager went off, leaving James alone again in his office, thinking about what his friend had said.

You’d told him so many times that things were okay, but maybe a part of him didn’t want to let him believe that you didn’t mind because that was a slippery slope to him facing himself and his feelings and he didn’t care what his heart was telling him, he wouldn’t put himself through that. He wouldn’t put you and Liana through that. But at the same time, he couldn’t keep himself away forever. He didn’t want that either.

So with a deep breath he picked up his office phone and dialled your number, putting it up to his ear and waiting for the line to connect on the other end.

“Hello?”

“Hey, it’s me.”

“James,” your voice sounded almost relieved. “H-Hey, how are you?”

He pressed his lips together, “Miserable, actually. I miss you guys.”

“We miss you too,” you chuckled with a small sniffle.

“C-Can I come over for dinner tonight?” he asked.

“You still have a key, what do you think?” you asked with a bit of a laugh. “I’ll see you tonight.”

“Yeah, see you then,” James smiled and after he hung up the phone he took a deep breath, his fast heartbeat slowing down by the second.

Maybe this time House was right.

—

The next few weeks passed by and things resumed to their normal state, much to House’s delight. James’ role as department head always meant at least one day a week where he would stay late and do some extra paperwork, dealing with anything that may have slipped through the cracks before.

This time, that had fallen on a Sunday and it was just past dinner when he heard a knock on his door and wondering who was on the other end he called for them to come in.

You opened the door a crack and again asked permission to come in and James smiled at you, looking up from his paperwork, not expecting to see you in the hospital.

“Hey, I wasn’t expecting to see you here, what’s going on?”

“I just wanted to drop by and bring you something for dinner, I know it’s your paperwork day.”

“Thanks, that’s really sweet of you,” he stood up from his chair and came to stand in front of his desk, leaning back on it while you placed the take out bag on the table. “Where’s Liana?”

“Oh Helen’s looking after her tonight,” you said. “I had a few things I needed to do and um just wanted the evening off,” you admitted.

“Fair enough,” James nodded.

“I actually brought you something else,” you rolled back and forth on the balls of your feet and James noticed the tension in your stature. “H-Here,” you handed him a gift bag which he eyed curiously.

Today wasn’t his birthday or some memorable event you celebrated together. There wasn’t much of a reason to get him a present which made it all the more intriguing.

He pulled out a wrapped rectangular box from the bag, and putting the bag aside he began to carefully tear away the wrapping paper to reveal what looked like a picture frame. Overlaid on the frame, on top of the photo, James noticed a card which he unfolded to read its contents.

Happy Father’s Day. We love you loads. - Liana and Mom

James moved the card to see the picture and put his hand over his mouth, feeling tears involuntarily form in his eyes as he saw the familiar scene of your room, lit by the light of your lamp as Liana was fast asleep against his chest while he napped on the armchair.

James quickly wiped away the few tears that were in his eyes and looked up at you with a grateful smile, looking back down at the image before placing it neatly on his desk along with the card.

“I hope you like it,” you said quietly, biting your lip. “I thought you might want to have a copy of that picture and…you know just a thank you for everything you’ve done for me and Liana this past year.”

“I love it,” he assured you. “I-I love it and I love you.”

“I love you too,” you smiled.

“N-No,” James came closer and reached out, taking your hands in his. “I…I love you. I’m in love with you.”

“Jamie,” you spoke in a breathy whisper, unsure of how you lost your voice. “I-,” you opened your mouth to speak again, but paused when James raised a hand to your face, wiping away the tears you didn’t even notice had begun to stream down.

“I just don’t want to be away from you, ever,” he said softly. “I never did. And now with Liana, I want to be there, for all of it.”

You held the wrist of his hand that held your face, pulling him in closer so your foreheads rested against each other.

You took in a shaky breath, thinking back on those words. Something you’d been saying to each other for longer than you could remember. The first time was so clear in your mind, you were on the phone racking up long distance charges while James was in Montreal. It had slipped out by accident, a reflex, and you had convinced yourself when the phone had hung up you’d never call him back, unable to face what you’d just said, but before you could spiral any further, he said it back and you never stopped saying it.

For the longest time that was the only occurrence that was memorable, everything else was a blur, that was until a few months ago. It was so simple, you had fallen asleep on the couch and James had made sure Liana was fed and bathed and even cleared up some things in the kitchen before sitting on the couch with some tea and a book. You had talked and said I love you as a thank you, but when the words left your mouth they also left a lingering airiness in your heart, a feather light feeling that came crashing down like an anvil when he left to go home because you realized you never wanted to be apart from him.

It took you a few moments to realize you hadn’t said anything and James was anxiously waiting for some sort of communication, anything, but since the meaning of your words had changed, for both of you, you thought it might be more conducive to work in actions.

You closed in the space between you, at first gently resting your lips on his and letting him lead you in a soft and slow kiss, putting aside all the restraint you both had been using these past months in an effort to protect your friendship.

One of James’ hands held onto your waist, pulling you in so that there was no space left between you. He kissed you again and again, remembering each one as a core memory, engraved in his mind, paired with the feeling of your arms wrapped around his neck, the feeling of your body pressed so closely against his, his heart beating outside of his chest.

It was easy for his lips to trail away from yours, moving along your jaw, to your temple before you had pulled each other into a warm embrace, simply existing in each other’s arms. James thought to himself what a nice life it would be, not ever having to pull away.

—

“I don’t have much to say,” James smiled. “Everything is looking good, you still seem 100% healthy to me.”

“That’s great news.”

“It definitely is. Standard procedure, but we’ll have one more of these remission follow ups to make sure everything is still in order then you hopefully won’t have to see me again.”

“Thank you Dr. Wilson, I really appreciate all you’ve-.”

“Dad!”

“Sweetheart, wait he’s with a patient!”

James turned his head and saw Liana running over to him, you valiantly trying to chase after her without much success.

He quickly scooped her up in his arms before she crashed into him, pressing a big kiss to her cheek.

“Sorry about that,” James apologized. “It’s Saturday, we normally have lunch together.”

“No worries,” he chuckled.

“Liana, this is my patient Mr. Kimbilio, can you say hi?”

Liana waved and said hi, very exuberantly.

“This is my daughter,” James introduced. “And that’s my wife,” he pointed over to you.

“Daughter,” Mr. Kimbilio smiled. “I think I met you Liana, when you were very small. Your father was looking after you at work and so some of his patients got to meet you.”

“Really?” she looked up at her dad and he nodded.

“He’s right, I remember that,” James smiled. “You’ve grown a lot since then, haven’t you Li,” he kissed her cheek again and she giggled.

You finally caught up to the group and James greeted you with a quick kiss, passing Liana off to you so he could wrap things up and you could all go down to the cafeteria for lunch together.

“If I remember correctly,” Mr. Kimbilio started. “You didn’t introduce her as your daughter the first time we met. I’m glad something changed.”

“Me too,” James smiled, looking over at his wife and daughter fondly who were now in the midst of making him very proud by pulling off a small prank on House as he came out of his office.

It didn’t take much longer for them to wrap things up and you and Liana made a quick pit stop inside James’ office before heading downstairs.

Liana went to go sit in James’ seat while he put away his files and organized them.

It had been a while since you’d been in his office, but it felt like ever since the night you first kissed things had begun to change in the room.

His desk was now more littered with photos than knickknacks and Liana’s artwork was posted wherever there was room.

You came around to the other side, looking a little more closely at the pictures.

There was one of you, James, and Liana on your wedding day, another of just the two of you during an anniversary celebration, Liana’s kindergarten photo from school and another one of you as a family on your last vacation. And still as prominent as ever, the framed photo you had gifted James on his first father’s day.

“You ready to go?” he asked you, looking up and noticing your eyes gazing at the pictures on his desk.

When you didn’t initially respond, too focused on what you were looking at, James wrapped an arm around you and tilted your chin towards him so he could press a kiss to your lips.

“I love you,” you smiled and James kissed you again, saying.

“And I love you,” before moving over to pick up Liana and kiss her cheek. “And you.”

Liana giggled, feeling tickled by the kisses and moving to give both of you a kiss on the cheek before saying.

“Mom, Dad, I’m starving. Can we go eat now?”

“Sure, Liana banana,” James chuckled and you wrapped an arm around him, walking side by side out of the office and in the direction of the elevator to get to the cafeteria, thinking you were pretty lucky that in the end, your best friend listened to his heart and went after what he wanted.

TAGLIST —

@cuntyvicodin @paola-carter @kiddbegins @il0vebeingdelulu @illicit4ff4irs @lynnsthoughts @miarabanana @iwmflbb @shots-of-wilson-and-whiskey @sarcasm-and-stiles @sun-flower-mad @x-uno @han11dh @qardasngan @alexxavicry

#james wilson #james wilson x reader #james wilson x you #james wilson fanfiction #james wilsonf anfic #james wilson fic #dr wilson #dr wilson x reader #dr wilson x you #house md #house md fanfiction #house md x reader #robert sean leonard

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luvkuvi · 10 months

Text

15 – catching up !

What's so good about him ?!

Scaramouche x reader smau series

synopsis — Your ex boyfriend kuni is in a band called 5wirl and they're pretty well known considering him and his bandmates are still in college but you still hated his guts on how he ended things with you back then in highschool the day before graduation. So whats the best course of action in this situation? make a hate account of him of course.

prev || masterlist || next

Putting your phone down you prepared yourself for the first day of the foundation day festival. You sighed preparing to go out to campus. It's already noon and Lumine left early to prepare and help Ayaka.

On your way to campus seeing the colorful booths and tons of students make you calm down for a while. Surely you won't run into him? you were nervous seeing him after what 2 years? You would think you moved on but the wounds are still here and a ton of "what ifs" and many unanswered questions. To distract your thoughts you already took your phone from your pocket to calm your nerves.

You giggle at Heizou's tweet "Hey this just looks like–" you were cut off by suddenly bumping into someone "My apologies! Are you alright?" you reached for the stranger's hand about to thank them "Hey it's alright! thank y–heizou ?" Your eyes lit up seeing familiar emerald green eyes. As he lift you off the ground he gave you his charismatic smile. "Y/N! well, it's always great to see an old friend." You giggled at him, he didn't change, and sure texting him as "Scarass" His way of texting didn't change but seeing him in front of him as "y/n" and seeing him still being like himself back then in high school feels nice.

"Yeah…I was just about to head in" You pointed to the cafe, the same cafe he tweeted out. "Let's catch up! my treat" He head over to the door opening it for you "You go in first~" You only kept smiling at his gestures "Still a gentleman I see~" He only chuckled back nodding. While heizou is browsing the menu you already said your usual after all this is your favorite cafe on campus. "I take it you go here a lot?" he said before just ordering a frappe. You nodded "This is my favorite place actually!" "I see"

After receiving your orders you began talking by the window telling each other what happened over the years. "Can you believe it! your old buddy is going to be famous" You laughed at his claim "Oh please if you told me in the past that heizou from math class is gonna be a famous drummer I would be laughing my ass off" He gave you a pout before taking a sip of his drink… "Snarky as always y/n" He sighed "Why did we ever stop hanging out ?"

You bit your lip, you cut off contact with 5wirl after your messy breakup. Heizou noticed your sudden uneasiness in his question. You placed your hand over his and smiled "Don't worry im fine now and yes it is because of him". Heizou nodded "Im glad you're doing better, we actually clowned him for being stupid" You giggled at his rant about them just teasing scara. Talking about him made you uneasy at first especially since you imagined the same violet hair in the distance…its probably nothing.

Notes: First written chapters YESSS and was it just just your imagination...?hehe find out next chap!

Taglist!(closed): @sakiimeo @sagegreenthinks @evsolostheuniverse @ozzierenato @mechanicalbeat1 @bananasquash @admiringfish @yuraasia @wolfe02 @msameikanevaeh @yukiipc @magica-ren @r0ttenhearts @vvyeislazzy @yuumaofc @klanxii @darthvada @the-ghost-0f-t0m0 @yoyo-yui @deluluangel @katsumikumo @thenightsflower @lazy-sanns @sukunasrealgf @4thnocturne @danhenglovebot @sketcheeee @fumichannorakuen @featuredtofu @mine-lu @karma-gisa @amyena @onmywaytoteyvat @fujimoribaby @eliqusgenma @buubbbbly @reekapeeka @elernity @323jelly @kunikissr @miko1ly @feverish-dove @zuunotsane @pomeiu @yxcade @kascar-chronicle @supercoolusernameomg @otomegame-oneshots @cookieofwishes @swivy123 (bold usernames means i couldn't tag you :<) 1/2

#whats so good about him?!#scaramouche x you #scaramouche #genshin impact scaramouche #scaramouche x y/n #scaramouche smau #scaramouche x reader #genshin imapct #genshin impact scara #genshin scaramouche x reader #genshin scaramouche

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 7 days

Note

WIBTA For telling my partner I'd like to bring my ex into our relationship?

I'm copying this over from r/relationship_advice, because the responses are giving me the impression they don't really get what polyamory is & I'm hoping tumblr does. For reference: there's me (29M), my ex (28, Trans Man), and my partner (30M).

My ex and I were best friends in high school, went to the same college, & dated through the tail end of undergrad, for about a year and change. We ended things on very good terms, the only reason we broke up was a difference in life paths: I stayed in the city to get my Master's, he traveled constantly for his work (he's a sculptor who makes these huge custom multimedia pieces, they're genuinely some of the most beautiful things I've seen). We fell out of touch for the most part, but I'd see him popping up on social media occasionally, or he'd text me when he was in town and we'd hang out, along with some other school friends.

The last time I saw him before our present situation was about 3 1/2 years ago today. We went out for drinks, he came back to my place after, and we ended up hooking up. He stayed in town for about a week, and we hooked up a few more times, and then he left again. He sort of dropped off the face of the earth after that, but he'd always been pretty sporadic, especially when he had a big project, so I didn't think much about it.

Not long after that, I met my current partner. He's truly one of my favorite people in the whole world; he's incredibly thoughtful, and earnest, and passionate about his morals & principles (he's an environmental lawyer), and more than anything, he's someone I never feel like I have to pretend with. He asked for my number, we had our first date a few days later, and ended up staying awake the entire night just talking about anything and everything, so we went ahead and got 5am pancakes and called it our second date. We've been together for a little over 3 years now, we've been moved in together for about 2, and while we've had the occasional fight or rough patch I can definitely say I love this man, and I plan to spend the rest of my life with him.

So, the big change.

About a year ago (~2 years since seeing my ex, my partner and I have lived together for about a year at this point), my partner and I are having a night in, and there's a knock at the door. It's my ex, looking absolutely ragged, holding a 15 month old baby. As in, a baby who was conceived 24 months before then. Yep, it's pretty much what you're guessing. I let them both in, we had a sit down in the kitchen, and he told me everything he'd been doing in the past 2 years in between me cussing him out for keeping it all from me in the first place. I really do want to keep this as short as possible, so to give you the super condensed version:

She's my daughter, he's completely sure about that, there's no one else he's been with the math is even close to correct for

The second he found out he was pregnant, he more or less panicked. He's got a whole Thing about feeling like he's irresponsible/not a "real" adult, and this really set him off, so telling me felt like "admitting to fucking both our lives up" at the time. His OB/GYN said some pretty awful shit to him about not being more careful as a trans man too, which just made it all even worse

Because of all that, he'd genuinely planned to just never tell me I have a daughter & raise her completely on his own, but a few things compounded to force his hand:

The birth was really rough on him, and his recovery was slow enough he was having trouble going back to work, to the point where money was getting tight

On top of that, our daughter has celiac disease, and between paying out of pocket for blood tests & spending more on baby food she's safe to eat, things got desperate enough he went and took out a really dodgy loan from a scummy payday company

He was at our door because all of this had finally spiraled to a point where he'd lost his apartment, they'd been sleeping in his car for about a week, and he couldn't think of anything else to do

I think I was probably feeling every human emotion in existence at the same time through all of this, but the thing I remember most from the whole conversation was the way my partner kept drifting right back to the baby, and the soft way he looked at her. We put my ex & daughter up in a hotel room for the night and told him we needed to talk, and we'd discuss our options in the morning, but I think even then I kind of knew what our answer was going to be.

Sure enough, for the last year and a half we've been co-parenting our little girl, all three of us. We didn't want to juggle who's got her, or force my ex to find a place to stay, so we've turned my partner's home office into our daughter's room, and redid most of the downstairs layout so my ex could move into an actual bedroom, rather than just sleep on our pullout couch in perpetuity. We finally succeeded in convincing him that rest and recovery was more important than trying to contribute to the house finances right away, and it's been magical watching all that stress and terror slowly fall off him. It's like he's a little more alive again every time I look.

Which is where my question comes in.

I'd like to restate, I love my partner 100%. None of this changes that whatsoever. If I ask, and he says no, that will be the end of the discussion for me completely. But I have eyes. My ex is, objectively, a very attractive man. I know we work well together, and I have to admit I'm very curious to see where that same chemistry could lead now that he's not on the other side of the country half the time. I've also been noticing these little moments between him and my partner. Nothing I'd consider crossing a line, but I've caught my partner checking my ex out several times, as well as vice versa, and they get along remarkably well. Sometimes I'll go to enter a room, and see them both sitting there laughing and chatting and playing with our baby, and I'll just hang back to watch because it makes me so happy.

Add to all that, we're pretty deeply ingrained in each other's lives now. My partner and I don't often go out on dates alone anymore, but the last few times we did it felt as if my ex was missing from the table. We watched a movie together last night, and my ex sat in the middle of us with his feet in my partner's lap and his head on my chest, and it felt just as natural as my arm on my partner's shoulder. It's not about just having sex with him, and it's not that I'd want to invite any old person into our relationship. I know we already all love each other, and I think there's potential for that to become romantic between the two of us and my ex.

It just feels as though we're all holding our breath, waiting for someone else to say it first. My ex certainly isn't going to bring it up when he's living rent free in "our" home (it's his home too, but he doesn't seem to see it like that yet). My partner grew up sheltered enough that I'm not sure he's ever heard of polyamory at all, so he's not going to bring it up. That just leaves me.

My problem is, if I'm wrong about what I think I'm seeing, or if I bring it up the wrong way, I can't take it back. I don't want my partner to feel insecure or betrayed, I don't want my ex to feel pressured or put on the spot, and I definitely don't want my daughter to lose any of us, which I know could happen if we aren't all on the same page. Or worse, if we do all date and it goes badly.

Should I just keep this whole thing secret? Is that even worse? Would I be the asshole for opening this can of worms on everyone else?

Help!

#aita #am i the asshole

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rxmqnova · 4 months

Note

Can you write player reader x wanda?

Where yn and Wanda are a thing but no one knew about it so a lot of women try to hit yn but she always said no, but one night at a party, yn went outside the house and Nat followed her (her ex but they are friends now, Wanda knew but still jealous) and people saw them and talked about it and Wanda had to see for herself and when she saw them they were just hugging each other and Yn smiles and look at her wrist, touching the bracelet Wanda got her when It was their one month anniversary.

Nat walked away and saw Wanda watching them, then she talked to her and said that even if Yn was a bit difficult she deserves everything and she just wanted her to be happy, (they broke up because they fell out of love, no other people or anything) and then Wanda went with Yn and they talked about what people talked before and Yn reassure her that she was in love with her and maybe it was time to let people know about their relationship

It's time

NO ONE'S POV "Hey there" Y/N smiles, nudging Wanda's shoulder playfully while walking through the empty school corridors, making Wanda jump a little bit.

"Y/N, oh my god! You scared me!" Wanda places her hand over her chest, taking a deep breath.

"Sorry" Y/N chuckles out.

"What are you doing here anyway? Aren't you supposed to have a lesson or something?" Wanda raises an eyebrow, watching her girlfriend's cheeks turn red.

"Well, yeah, but I saw you walking around the classroom through the glass on the door. So I said I needed to go to the restroom and here I am. I just wanted to see you" Y/N admits, making Wanda chuckle this time. "Will I see you at the party tonight?"

"Mhm. Gotta keep my eye on you. You know, a lot of girls plan to ask you out and have you go to the party with them" Wanda teases.

"Bad for them then. I only like this one cute Sokovian girl with brown hair and the prettiest green eyes I've ever seen" Y/N says in response, making Wanda blush.

———

Y/N takes a deep breath before stepping into Stark's house as Tony is the one throwing up the party tonight. She immediately scans the room with her eyes, hoping to spot her girlfriend, but not seeing her anywhere yet.

"Look who arrived" Natasha smiles, walking over to her ex-girlfriend and handing her a drink right away.

"Oh. Thanks" Y/N smiles, accepting the drink from the redhead and still looking around with hope to find her girlfriend.

"Who are you looking for? That girlfriend of yours?" Natasha asks, now looking around just like Y/N and trying to find Wanda.

"What? How… how do you know I have a girlfriend?" Y/N furrows her brows in confusion, waiting for an explanation. Her and Wanda haven't told anyone about their relationship, actually they're pretty sure no one knows they're dating. "Wait. Not here. Come outside" Y/N orders, receiving a confused look from Natasha though the redhead doesn't question it and follows her ex-girlfriend out of the house.

"Why did we have to go outside?" Now Natasha brings out the question.

"I don't know… Wanda and I just like to keep things only between us, I guess" Y/N shrugs.

"So Wanda, huh?" Natasha smirks, making Y/N roll her eyes in response.

"Yeah, Wanda. Are you jealous, Romanoff?" This time Y/N smirks in response, making the redhead chuckle.

"No, I'm just happy for you. You know, after we broke up I thought you would stay single forever" Natasha jokes, Y/N rolling her eyes in response once again.

"For your information, Wanda and I are dating for a few months already" Y/N informs, making the redhead chuckle at how easy is to make fun of her ex-girlfriend.

While Natasha and Y/N are talking, Wanda finally steps into the house, her eyes searching for her girlfriend. Though her attention soon moves to almost everyone's topic of conversation.

"I mean… do you guys think Y/N and Natasha are back together?" One girl asks and Wanda just can't help but listen.

"It makes sense. Why would they go outside otherwise?" Another girl responses.

Wanda squeezes her eyes shut for a moment, deciding to just go for a drink. But when she reaches the kitchen, another group discusses the exact same thing as the girls before.

"I bet Natasha's the reason Y/N said no to me when I asked her out this morning"

"Alright" Wanda sighs, turning around and walking back outside. She knows her girlfriend would never cheat on her, though she can't help but feel a little jealous.

Once she spots her girlfriend talking to the redhead, she can't help but stop walking and watch them.

"I'm really glad you're happy, Y/N" Natasha smiles warmly, meaning every single word.

"Thank you, Nat" Y/N smiles back, wrapping her arms around the redhead and pulling her in for a hug. "We better get back inside, I bet Wanda's already there" She smiles once they pull away, her smile widening on the thought of her girlfriend as she looks at the bracelet Wanda got her for their one month anniversary and gently touches it.

"See you there then" Natasha smiles, walking away first. Her smile turning into a little smirk when she notices the girlfriend standing aside and clearly watching them. "Y/N was looking for you"

"Oh, I only just arrived" Wanda smiles akwardly, hoping to escape this conversation.

"Y/N and I were just talking if you're wondering… She really likes you" Natasha goes on. "Look, I know it can be difficult with her sometimes, but… she's really a nice girl and deserves to be happy"

"I really like her too, Natasha. I know you two are friends and you want the best for her, but I can assure you that I want the best for her too… I'll do anything to make her happy" Wanda tells the redhead seriously, receiving a nod and a small smile from her before she just walks away.

"There you are. I was starting to get a little worried when I didn't see you inside" Y/N smiles, walking happily to Wanda only a few seconds after Natasha walked away.

"Oh. Hi. I arrived just a few minutes ago. Wanna go for a little walk with me?" Wanda returns the smile, holding her hand out of her girlfriend who immediately nods and interlocks her fingers with Wanda's.

After a few minutes of walking and a little bit of an uncomfortable silence, Y/N decides to break it, noticing something's bothering her girlfriend.

"Is everything okay?" Y/N just asks, rubbing her thumb over Wanda's knuckles.

"Yeah, everything's okay. I just… it's stupid anyway" Wanda sighs on which Y/N furrows her brows.

"No, tell me. You can tell me everything, you know I'd never judge you for anything" Y/N assures.

"… It's just… When I came to the party and was looking for you, I heard other people's conversations. I know you and Natasha are just friends, but they were discussing if you and her weren't back together. I guess it made me a little jealous. Sorry, I know it's stupid" Wanda sighs once again.

"It's not. If we want this to work, we need to tell each other everything, Wands. I'm glad you told me, because now I can suggest you something I've been wanting to suggest you for a while actually" Y/N smiles, stopping to walk and taking both Wanda's hands into her own. "I really, really love you, Wanda. I'm so in love with you and I was thinking that maybe it's time to stop hiding and just tell everyone that we are together"

"Really? I-I would love to. I thought that you-" Wanda admits, a huge smile forming on her face as she gets pulled into a loving kiss immediately. "I love you too"

----------------------

Wanda Maximoff masterlist

Masterlist

#wanda maximoff #wanda x y/n #wanda x fem!reader #wanda x you #wanda x reader #wanda maximoff x y/n #wanda maximoff x you #wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximoff x female reader #natasha romanoff #wanda maximoff fanfiction #fanfiction #natasha x fem!reader #natasha x y/n #natasha x you #natasha x reader #natasha romanoff x female #natasha romanoff x you #natasha romanoff x reader

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gulnarsultan · 8 months

Text

》 Part 2 《

After you left your husband Miguel, you sent divorce petitions several times. However, Miguel never signed the petition. Moreover, you had to move to another city because he didn't stop calling you. After moving, Miguel was never able to reach you again. You made very good neighbors and friends in the new city you moved to. Months later, you gave birth to twin girls. As the years passed, you had a happy life with your children. Your son Antonio had turned nine, and twins Sofia and Lucia had turned eight. You started running a dessert shop a year ago. You had everything you wanted in your life. However, this happiness was turned upside down when your ex-husband Miguel came to your shop. Miguel wanted to share his life with you again as if nothing had happened. But you didn't want that. You tried to explain it gently at first. The fact that he was bothering you every day had made you lose your patience.

Miguel was surprised by the slap he received in the face.

"Enough."

You screamed at the top of your lungs. You were so angry you didn't know what to do.

"Leave me alone. I don't want you in my life. I will never forgive you. You turned my life upside down in the one year I was married to you. How dare you want me to be with you shamelessly now."

"I'm so sorry. You and our children."

"Shut up. They're my children. You're only related to them by blood. You only had one child. Now get out."

Miguel just gets up and leaves. You pick up your children from school and return home. After dinner, you spend time with your children. You read stories to your children at bedtime. You go to your room after the kids are asleep. After putting on your nightgown, you go to bed. Shortly after falling asleep, you wake up with the feeling that someone is watching you. When you see Miguel in front of you, you want to scream. However, Miguel acts early and shuts your mouth.

"I will prove how much I love you. I will take you and my children. I will not lose my family again. If you do not come with me, I will burn this building down with everyone except you and our children."

When you look into Miguel's eyes, you understand very well that he is not bluffing. You shake your head in tears.

"There's my good wife."

When tomorrow comes, your children and Miguel meet. Within a few hours, Miguel gets used to all three of them. It was really strange returning to the house you left years ago. Miguel had created rules for you to follow. You couldn't leave the house without Miguel's permission. Moreover, he wanted you to take on the role of the loving wife.

#miguel o'hara x reader #miguel o hara #miguel o'hara #yandere miguel o'hara #yandere spiderverse #yandere male

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goldenlikedayl1ght · 5 months

Text

black friday - m. murdock

a/n: an old work i finished because i decided y'all are owed something cute and fluffy. shoutout to all my girlies who were in codependent relationships for so long that they needed to figure out who they were again after ! as always, reblogs and comments are always appreciated! warnings: lots of fluff, lots of kissing, lots of talks about a bad ex, reader is rather shy at first, cursing probably but it's late and i'm probably forgetting so much im so sorry also a lot of suggestive behavior because they're in love word count: 4.5k summary: you have a list of things to do within a year of living in new york. matt helps you check everything off- oh, and you fall in love with him, too. it's not on the list, but you do it anyways. pairing: matt murdock x fem!reader now playing: black friday - tom odell "i wanna go party/i wanna have fun/wanna be happy/could you show me how it's done?/ you look so pretty/pretty like the sun"

For a long time, you thought you’d never get over your ex.

For a long time, you believed that you were it for each other. You’d go the whole nine yards—Kids, a quaint house in your hometown, Sunday dinners.

And for a long time after he broke up with you, you thought you’d never let yourself love again. How could you? How would you allow yourself to be set up for failure, after letting someone know every part of you?

You had been dating him since high school and had been living with him in your first apartment when he broke it off.

Sometimes, it was amazing, and you were never happier. But most days, it had been full of anger and talking him off the ledge all the time. It was makeup sex after arguments you couldn’t remember now.

So, when he did break up with you, you decided to use it as an excuse to run far, far away from your small town. And you found yourself in Hell’s Kitchen.

You land a job at a small law firm, and at first, you just work as a meek little office assistant.

Nelson, Murdock & Page grew by the day, and for a while, you felt out of place. It wasn’t that you were abused or worked to the bone, you just struggled to make friends, and you weren’t very social while getting over your ex anyways.

So, for about two months, you did your job quietly, laughing quietly at the bickering of your bosses, thanking Karen Page for her advice, enjoying coffee with Foggy Nelson, and of course…

Never muttering a word to Matt Murdock. He was just too intimidating. Besides, you still felt like your ex’s eyes were watching your every move, even thousands of miles away, even now.

Then one night, Foggy couldn’t handle it anymore. So, he approached you quietly at the end of a long workday, with a simple phrase.

“This week’s been crazy, huh? Hey, a few of us are going to the bar tonight, did you want to come?”

What were you supposed to say? ‘No, my ex who I don’t talk to wouldn’t like that?’

Please.

“Oh, Uhm.. I don’t know, who else is going?”

“It’ll be me, my wife, Marci, Karen..” He said.

“Sure, I’ll come.” You smiled, before you could stop yourself.

“Awesome! I’ll send you the address! I’m so glad you’re tagging along!” He grins. You’re thrilled too.

“Me too, it’ll be fun.” He begins to walk away but then he turns back around with a snap of his fingers.

“Oh! And Matt is going!”

Why wouldn’t he tell you that in the first place? Why was your face burning? Why was your heart racing?

“Oh, Great.” You told him, now suddenly conscious of everything about that night.

• • •

At the bar, you wound up ordering a drink before you went over to your friends—Well, Coworkers, you wouldn’t call them friends yet, thanking the woman behind the bar.

Then, you made your way over to them where Foggy was playing his wife in Pool—and losing horribly. So, you sit with Karen and Matt, where there is conveniently one seat available, right between the two.

Karen excitedly said your name as you approach adding a, “I can’t believe you came!” Which, ouch, but, fair.

“Well, Foggy was right, this week’s been awful, so I wanted to relax.” You smiled, sitting with them.

“I’m glad,” she said, before asking, “So, why’d you move to New York?” She knew you weren’t from here, so you figured the question would come up eventually.

“Just needed a change of pace from a small town, you know?”

“I do,” she nodded, “Do you like it here?”

Did you like being alone all the time, feeling like you’re always doing something wrong? Like you should run back to your hometown and beg your ex to marry you?

“Yeah, I love it. It’s so different in a way I wasn’t really prepared for, but it’s great.” You lied.

Matt’s blind. Why did it feel like he has this burning gaze into your skin?

“Did you go to college in your hometown, too?”

“Yeah,” You smile. You loved College. You were an early education major and had even gotten your masters in your small community college. You loved teaching, and if you hadn’t moved, you’d have stayed at the school that hired you after student teaching there. But, when you got to the city, you were unable to find consistent work because the demand for teachers was so high.

So here you were, working as an office assistant for a small law firm.

Karen glanced down to her glass and frowned.

“I’m going to grab another drink, do either of you want anything?”

“I’m good, Karen.”

“No, thank you.”

Silence. Sickening silence.

Then, he spoke.

“Do you know how upset I am that you got your drink already?”

What?

You furrowed your brows, confused.

“I’m sorry?”

“I wanted to buy you a drink, but you beat me to it.”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” You repeated, a light blush on your face.

“Well, I figured it might be nice to wipe the slate clean, considering you haven’t spoken more than ten words to me since you started working with us.”

That was true. There’s just something that feels so wrong about it, even though you worked with him,

“I’m sorry,” you said again, and he just laughed.

“You say that a lot.”

“I’m sor—” You caught yourself, clearing your throat. “Why do you say that?”

“Well, you speak to everyone, just not me. So, I listen and I’m pretty sure you apologize more than anything else.”

Your face was beet red.

“Okay, Okay, I get it. I don’t talk a lot, especially not to you. It’s something I’m working on, I have a whole list of things I’m working on.”

That’s true. You had an actual list of goals you have before your first year in New York is up.

“A list?”

“A list.”

“May I?” He asked, and you sighed, pulling out your phone, your list nestled deep into your notes app.

“Apologize less and talk to you is at the top.” You told him. “Then it’s get a job I love,”

“Ouch.”

“Sorry, Boss.” You took a sip of your drink, “Move into a nicer apartment, and uh..” You sighed softly. “Get over my ex.”

He tilts his head.

“Your ex?”

“The reason I moved here. He broke up with me about six months ago, but we were together for so long it feels like an impossible task.”

Matt knows the feeling.

“It’s an easy enough list. We can help you.” He says, “When did you move to New York?”

“May 1st.”

“Okay, then by May of next year, you should have everything accomplished.”

“We?”

“Yeah, I’m gonna help you.”

“Oh, so now it’s you and not all of you?”

Now it’s his turn to blush.

“You’re rather talkative now.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. I like it.”

• • •

Talking to Matt is easy, you discover quickly.

It’s the apologizing that gets you.

You’re staying late at the office about a month later, while Hell’s Kitchen is amid a blistering heat wave.

You feel like you might die. You’re editing a closing argument Foggy wants to practice when Matt calls your name gently.

“Can I see you in my office for a second?” He asks. You follow him into his office, not really thinking much of it.

“What’s up?” You ask, sitting in the spare chair in his office as he closes the door behind him, going to the seat at his desk.

“Well, remember that list we talked about?”

“Yeah?”

“I haven’t heard much from you this week.”

That’s true, it’s just been sort of a hectic time with cases piling up. You can only do so much work AND talk to your favorite coworker. Yes, Matt had quickly become your favorite person at the office, even after just a month of really trying to open up to him.

He learned about your ex, your holiday traditions and that you hate peppermint.

You learned about his parents, his favorite dessert, and that he dresses up every night to go fight the criminals of New York.

Okay, you technically weren’t supposed to learn that, but you had stopped by his apartment early to drop off a file you were working on, and he had just crawled home and was still in his suit when he answered the door, forgetting completely that you didn’t know.

So now You knew how he was able to tell that you lied to Karen that night at the bar.

“I’m—” You start to apologize, but then you stop yourself. “I’m not sorry, I’ve been busy and so have you, but I do miss talking to you, though I am not sorry.” You say, and he grins.

“That’s my girl.”

Huh.

Your stomach swirls and you beam at the praise.

Wait, what?

You brush it off, before asking,

“Does Daredevil still come out to play even though it’s a hundred degrees out?”

“Will you have your window open with a few bottles of water open for me?”

“Always.”

“Then yes.”

Talking to Matt is rather easy. You have a feeling that soon the apologizing will follow.

• • •

October is the month of figuring out what you want to do with your life.

Sure, you love working in the office, but you are going crazy. You’re under stimulated and the hours are consistently long.

So, you try a lot of things.

You bake, you cook, you take exams, you work tirelessly to try and figure out where you want to work and where you’ll be happiest.

You try doing hair but find yourself uninspired.

You think you might like being a nursing assistant but turns out, you don’t like blood.

But part of you knows your heart isn’t in it, for two reasons.

For one, you want to teach. You want to be teaching young kids’ addition and their spelling and stars. You desperately want to be a great influence in their lives.

And the second thing is..

You don’t want to leave your coworkers.

You love spending time with Karen and Foggy. For a long time, you didn’t have friends outside of your relationship, and they are the best friends you’ve ever had.

Foggy spends long coffee breaks cracking jokes with you and asking for your sandwich order, telling you that you have to stop by his brother’s deli for one of his signature subs. Then he tells you this long-winded story about how his mother wanted him to be a butcher, not a lawyer.

Karen is your favorite girl. She’s not only drop dead gorgeous and ridiculously smart, but she is also kind like no one you have ever met. She texts you when you forget to let her know you’ve gotten home safe, there is always a coffee on your desk when you get there and for your birthday, flowers are on your desk, scribbled with a cute note in her handwriting.

And then, there’s Matt.

He’s your best friend and knows you better than anyone. He loves having you right in the office where he can hear your heartbeat and smell your vanilla coconut perfume. He tells you about his dad and you tell him about your folks.

He knows your Chinese and Thai food orders like the back of his hand, always ordering you some when he gets his. You describe the movies you’re watching in detail, and he hangs on to every word. There is no one who sees you more than him, and he’s quite literally blind. When you tell him about your dream to go back into teaching, he encourages it.

“When I was a kid, I’d have benefited so much from someone like you.”

He asks you to do his makeup for his Halloween costume, no matter how badly it irritates his skin. He likes the idea of your hands so close to his face.

But you’re both critically aware of how, not only is the market flooded, but you’re dreading the day you leave your little office job.

So many people have asked if the two of you are dating. And you both always laugh, because.. because you just love each other in a way that you can’t describe. But no, you’ve never thought about dating Matt Murdock.

Until this one day.

It’s like any other day, really. You have your friends cramped in your tiny apartment and you’re just waiting for Matt’s arrival before you eat dinner for the night.

Karen, Foggy and Marci sit at your little table as you finish cooking, and Marci just glances over to you.

“You need to move to a better apartment.”

“I know, I know,” you laugh, “But she’s so cozy! I love it here!” It was, and is, all you could afford, but you grew to love it.

“Yeah, and I love having leg room.” Foggy chimes.

“You know what, Nelson? You could just, pay me more so I could move somewhere nicer?”

“Touche.” There’s a knock on the door, so you grin and head over there, opening the door for Matt.

And you need to take a second.

He’s holding your favorite bottle of wine, and he’s in these nice dark jeans and a gray sweater under his peacoat.

This thought strikes you.

This thing you thought you’d never feel again after your ex.

Matt Murdock is hot, and you have got to have him.

This is it. The thing you can’t deny any longer. You have a massive crush on the devil that disguises himself as your favorite person. To you, he is an angel.

“Hey,” you say breathily, as if you have it out for yourself. Surely he’ll know. “You didn’t have to bring wine.” You told him, a soft smile on your face.

He steps inside as you take the wine, leaning in to kiss your cheek gently, something he has found himself doing every time he enters your apartment. It’s your routine. He loves this aspect of your dynamic because he has known that he’s wanted you for months. You’ve just been so caught up in everything that you didn’t see it.

“It’s no trouble, thank you for having us,” he says gently.

So this is it.

You just can’t deny it.

You have a massive crush on Matt Murdock, and there isn’t a thing you could do about it. Except maybe kiss him. But for that night, you just kind of relax and pretend you’re already dating him. That’s something you haven’t done in a long time.

You’re beginning to feel like yourself again.

• • •

Nelson Family Christmas celebrations are something of legend for you. For months you’ve heard about it, and you’re on your way to the deli with a handful of presents and two trays of cookies.

You’ve decided that just once, you want a holiday away from your family. Truth be told, you really don’t want to spend your holiday without your best friends.

You have on this stunning outfit—A red sweater, a black skirt and these warm black stockings. Boots to die for.

You know Matt can’t see your outfit, but that doesn’t stop you from wanting to dress up for him. It’s weird. This crush thing has been getting out of control.

You’re greeted at the door of the Deli with a crowd full of blonde-haired New York Irish-Italians, and they’re all lovely. You put your presents down and place your cookies on the dessert table. And you love Foggy’s family. They ask you questions constantly, and Foggy’s sister-in-law talks to you for a while about her career in the local high school system.

It’s a joy to meet so many people so full of love.

So, you go over to Foggy as he’s yapping and say gently, “Hey, where’s Matt?”

He grins.

“Why do you want to go kiss him under the mistletoe?” He teases. Your face goes red.

“Shut up! Where is he, Franklin?” You glare and he laughs, patting your arm.

“Upstairs in the hallway.” He says, and as you walk away he calls, “Go get ‘em, Tiger!” You glare and grab a cookie on your way up.

And you find him, standing in a quiet corner of the hallway. You go to open your mouth and he turns to you.

“Merry Christmas,” he leans forward and kisses your cheek.

“Merry Christmas, Matty.” You hum. “Guess what type of cookie I have.”

He sniffs the air and shakes his head. “Give me a taste and I’ll guess.” You hand him the cookie and he put it in his mouth halfway, raising his eyebrows to you.

“What?”

He gestures to the cookie in his mouth, and you laugh, realizing that he wants you to bite the other end, ala Lady and the Tramp. So you lean forward and take a bite, and he eats the rest, inches separating your face as you enjoy your treat.

People chatter down the hallway and Christmas music plays from somewhere. There are so many different foods and people, and all Matt can focus on is the vanilla coconut scent of your perfume. When you’re both finished eating your cookie, his hands find your waist.

“Matt, what are you—”

You don’t get the chance to finish because suddenly he is kissing you in the dark hallway of your friend’s family Christmas party. The kiss is wonderful. He tastes of the cookie you two shared. It’s unlike anything you’ve ever experienced.

You need more kissing practice because it’s been so long. But you get the feeling that Matt won’t mind helping you out if this is another thing you want to add to your list.

When he pulls away, he’s a bit breathless but he says one thing to you.

“Chocolate chip peanut butter.”

“What?”

“That’s my guess for the cookie type.”

“Wanna kiss me again to confirm?” He grins and his hands travel down, just slightly to feel the materials of your skirt.

“That’s my girl.”

• • •

The next two months fly by in a whirl of kissing Matt, trying to find a teaching job and enjoying your first real winter in New York.

By the time March rolls around, the clock is ticking for you to be able to find a job in this school year. And then, Foggy and Matt get you the best gift ever.

“Mrs. Future Murdock,” You send Foggy a glare.

“Watch it.”

“Okay, listen—You remember that rich guy that was wrongfully accused of tax evasion?”

“Yeah, why?” You’re cleaning up your office space for the weekend, excited to go to Josie’s, have a few drinks and unwind with your very handsome boyfriend.

“Well, he’s a super intendent for a large school district in Hell’s Kitchen.” Your head snaps up to the two.

“What does that mean for me?” You raise an eyebrow.

“There’s an older teacher there who needed to have surgery and we thought, hey, we know a teacher who could sub in.”

“…Who?”

“You.” Matt says, and you grin. “Your interview is Monday.”

You gasp and hug Foggy quickly, before making your way over to Matt.

“You are the absolute best.” You kiss him quickly and his hands, as they often do, find themselves on your hips. “Thank you.”

What a lovely lovely man.

“Don’t thank us yet, you still need to get the job.” Right.

Your night at Josie’s is lovely but you spend the rest of your weekend prepping for the interview on Monday. It goes well, but something in you is telling you to stay anxious. Why? You have no idea.

It takes two weeks for them to get back to you. But you walk into the office of Nelson, Murdock & Page with a big grin. You walk right into Matt’s office, who glances up to you when you walk in, your heart racing.

“Hey, Sweetheart, I—” He cuts himself off when you walk right up to his desk and pull his chair out before finding yourself on Matt’s lap. Your arms wrap around his neck and his arms find your waist. Before he can say much else, you kiss him quickly, and he grins into the kiss. Eventually, when you do pull away, Matt asks, “Everything okay?”

“Matty, consider this to be my two weeks’ notice.”

He gasps happily.

“Oh my god! How awful it is that you’re leaving us!” He grins, kissing you quickly. “Congratulations.”

“Thank you for getting me the interview.” You tell him, “You know if I do well, the teacher might let me coteach with her next year.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. Our list is almost done, baby.”

“Your list, not ours.”

“Yeah but you’ve been helping so much.”

“You’re easy to help.”

“You’re easy to love.”

He blushes and decides to kiss his girl again.

• • •

So, in April, a month before your year is up, you find yourself needing a new apartment. The rent is getting crazy, and it’s nowhere near the school you’re working in. Especially considering that the teacher you’re subbing for decided she wanted to retire so you’d be taking over for her full time come Fall.

Plus, your apartment is small and cramped, especially with Matt’s stuff slowly invading your place. You discuss this with him one night. It’s late and he’s covered in cuts from his Daredeviling.

“I hate apartment hunting.” You whine, and he hums, kissing your head gently. “Nowhere is good enough. Too far from the school, too far from you, too expensive.” You complain.

“Why don’t you move in here?”

Huh. Why hadn’t you thought of that? Was it too quick to be moving in with him at this point? Maybe, but something told you Matt wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon.

“Really?”

He grins.

“Really. It’s close to the school, a good price, and rather close to me.” You grin and kiss him softly. It’s your favorite habit.

So, two weeks later, you’re hauling boxes into your boyfriend’s apartment. You take a few drawers of his dresser and some of your nicer outfits find their way into his armoire. Your mugs sit comfortably next to his in his cabinets. Your cabinets.

Your throw blanket is draped comfortably across his couch, and your shoes lay next to his.

Your lotion sits next to his first aid kit. You love dating Matt Murdock.

You love that next month will be one year since you moved to New York, and your life is sort of coming together. Glorious Matthew Murdock is your boyfriend. Your job is amazing. Your apartment is wonderful. Matt Murdock is your boyfriend, and he is amazing at kissing you.

• • •

So, Matt knows May is your year since moving to New York. He knows you guys could go to Josie’s and have a normal old time at the bar…

But he wants to do something special for you. So, he asks Foggy, Marci and Karen to get dressed up and go to a bar on the nicer side of town. Not that you don’t love Josie’s but your one year in New York calls for a special occasion.

You decide to wear a nice satin dress and he loves running his hands over the soft fabric. To Mat, you are perfect in every way, and every day he falls deeper and deeper in love with you.

So on a warm May night in Hell’s Kitchen, you sit in a bougie bar with your best friends, boyfriend and enjoy a year since you moved to this wonderful place you now call home. And a year and four months since your ex broke up with you. Truly, for a long time, you thought you’d never get over him.

Now, Matt is all you see.

At some point, a little tipsy, you kiss Matt’s cheek gently and tell him you’re going to grab another drink.

“Do you want anything?” You ask softly.

“Just for you to come back soon. I’ll miss you.” Oh, Tipsy Matt was your favorite.

“Okay, I’ll be right back.” You kiss him quick and head off to the bar. You order another drink and wait patiently, taking in just how happy you are in this moment.

Then, a familiar voice calls your name, and you glance over and you can’t believe it.

Your ex-boyfriend is right in front of you, and for a moment, you convince yourself you must be drunker than you realized.

“Wow, you look fantastic!” He says a grin on his face. Was… Was your ex ever… attractive? You can’t remember if he ever was. Especially not since dating Matt.

“Oh, Thanks..” You smile softly, trying to be polite but to get out of here quickly and get back to the arms of your loving boyfriend.

“Are you here with anyone?”

“Yeah.” You told him. “Some of my good friends, and—”

“So, you’re not seeing anyone?” You furrow your eyebrows. When did you say that?

Then, there’s an arm around your waist, and you know whose it is in an instant.

“Hey, Sweetheart.. Is everything okay?” Matt asks, smiling to you. Oh, he knows. He knows big time.

“Everything is great.” You turn to your ex and grin. “This is Matt, He’s my—”

“Fiancé.” Matt ends.

Fiancé?

“Fiancé?” Your ex asks, bewildered.

“Mhm. Got engaged a few days ago, that’s what we’re here celebrating.” You said gently, leaning your head against Matt’s arm.

“Engaged, but you’ve only been here for a year!”

“Well, I wasn’t about to wait around for you to ask me to date you again.” You glance over to Matt. “Besides, when you know you know.” You say softly.

Matt leans in and kisses you gently, “When you know, you know.” He echoes.

Your ex is wildly uncomfortable.

“I thought you said you’d always love me.” He says, and he has that intimidating tone to his voice that you hate.

“Yeah… Me too.. Guess I was wrong. You have a nice night, Okay?” You smile and take your drink, turning to head back to your friends. Your ex is bummed out but leaves you alone, and Matt grins to you further.

“When you know you know.” He hums.

“Fiancé..” You echo. He shrugs gently.

“I like the sound of it.”

“Me too.” You say gently. “I love you.”

“I love you, Sweetheart.” He kisses your cheek. “So… A year in New York.”

“Yup. My list is all done.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. I talk to you all the time, and I don’t apologize unless it’s necessary. I love teaching and my job. My apartment is stellar, and… I think it’s safe to say I am over my ex. I upgraded. In fact, my upgrade is so much hotter than anyone else I know.”

Matt leans in to kiss you, a grin on his face, but he mutters a soft, “That’s my girl,” Before he does.

#matt murdock #matt murdock x you #matt murdock x reader #matt murdock fluff #matt murdock fanfic #matt murdock fic #matt murdock fanfiction #daredevil #daredevil fanfiction #daredevil fic #fluff #foggy nelson #karen page #tooth rotting fluff #matt murdock x y/n #matt murdock my beloved

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hyunfilms · 6 months

Text

blue side of the sky (lmh) | fifteen.

♡ spotify playlist | series masterlist

—summary: waking up after 3 months with no recollection of your past, your friends do what they can to help you remember. except, they omit an important piece to the puzzle - afraid you would remember the heartbreak and hurt all over again.

—pairing: lee know x f. reader

—genre: (18+) exes to lovers, bestfriends to lovers au | fluff, angst, smut

—word count: 4.4k

—chapter content/warnings: cussing/mature language, flashbacks - more soft, affectionate moments, small kisses, i honestly dunno how to explain the rest of the chapter 😭 lots of things are said and done, yelling/confrontations, crying, most of it still doesn't make sense for oc and it's very overwhelming...

☁︎ FLASHBACK | LAST NIGHT

"Can you still come over tomorrow, too? I think it'd be good if we talked about everything." Minho looks at you with pure adoration, heart soaring after you surprised him and dropped by after your movie night with Uncle Adrian.

"Okay. Are you sure you're ready to?"

"Yeah, I am. We should. Just so we're on the same page." He holds you closer. "But tonight, we can just be here and watch whatever you wanna watch."

"Sounds good with me." You softly smile while looking up at him. "Wait." You turn to lay on your stomach and look at him. "Tell me how we met in high school. How you met Jisung."

"Oh god." He cringes, groaning into the pillow but you fight to remove it from his face. You finally succeed, cupping his face to make him look at you. He laughs and gives in anyway, pulling you close to him as you continue to wait for his response. "Fine. You're lucky you're cute."

"Tell me!" You pout.

"Okay!" He laughs. "It's really anticlimactic, you know?"

"Okay? I still wanna know." You rest your chin on your palm.

"I was late to class on our first day of freshman year because I had to go to the office to get my schedule sorted out. On my way to class, Jisung almost ran into me cause he was rushing. Dropped his books and everything." Minho laughs. "It was everywhere. He was frantically picking it up." Minho tried to mimic Jisung being a mess. "He kept saying sorry and that he was late. I kinda just watched him run off without saying anything because I didn't know what to say."

"You didn't even help him?"

"He kept saying not to!" You chuckle. "But anyway, after that, I found out my locker was next to his. You know him, he's always been super talkative. I guess that's how we got close."

"And how did we meet?"

"I came along with Jisung to meet you after school to eat. We picked you up at your school, then walked down the street to the small restaurant we started going to often afterwards."

"Hm." You hum.

"Look." Minho grabs an old polaroid from his nightstand, showing one with you, him, and Jisung in your high school uniforms eating at the restaurant; the other polaroid is just you, smiling. "It's one of my favorite pictures."

"You just keep it there?" You look at his nightstand and he nods.

"Mhm."

"Minho." You move up, tracing his jaw with your finger.

"Yeah?"

"Do you still hate taking pictures?" You remember Jisung mentioning this to you, but part of you is now starting to realize it must have to do with this history he has yet to talk to you about.

"Kinda, I guess? They're just not my thing." You rest your chin on his chest and subtly nod. You rest there for a minute, with Minho beginning to gently stroke your hair.

"You okay?" You give him a small, toothless smile.

"Mhm."

"What are you thinking about?"

"Nothing." Minho lets out a breath before lazily pulling you closer to his face by the elbows.

"You sure?"

"Mhm."

"Hey." He says softly. "You know I just want you to be happy, right?"

"Where is this coming from?"

"Nowhere. You know that though, right?" You giggle a bit.

"Yeah, of course."

"You come first, and I will always prioritize your happiness before anybody's."

"Minho."

"Just listen." He pouts a bit. "I just need you to know this."

"Okay." You answer close to a whisper. "I know you would, I wouldn't doubt it."

"No matter what."

"Okay." Minho feels a sense of relief because he really just needed you to know that. Of course, right now, he must seem blinded by the affection in the air and everything that's been going on between you two— but he truly hopes you know that he will always support you and keep you happy, no matter what that may look like.

Even after everything happens, he will make sure you're happy.

Even if that meant ending this.

Even if that meant giving you space.

Being your bestfriend before anything.

He will make sure you're happy.

"Come here." He breaks the silence again, pulling you onto his lips gently, softly; passionately. He holds the kiss for awhile before repeatedly pressing kisses to your lips. He pulls you onto him, deepening the kiss a little bit more; hands gripping onto your hips as you gently roll against him.

He loves you.

You are love to Minho.

You are the blue sky to Minho.

And this is probably the last time he'll get to hold you and kiss you like this.

☁︎ END

"You're off today?" You ask Uncle Adrian as you pop into the house, curious to see what's in the fridge.

"I could ask you the same." He laughs. "Did you just come from the boys' house?"

"Way earlier. Minho dropped me off before heading to the café. I just figured I'd pop in after seeing you move around in the kitchen." He nods.

"Come, I'm about to make brunch. Anything you're craving for? Like, pancakes? Eggs? Bacon?"

"Hm, nothing too heavy. Toast, bacon, eggs?" He nods.

"Alright, they're all coming up then." He opens the fridge and takes out a carton of orange juice. "Orange juice? Water, tea?"

"Water is good." You smile at him as he slides you a nice, cold glass of water. He begins to toast some bread while preparing the stove for the eggs and bacon.

"What're your plans today? No work, no class?"

"Nope. I was gonna go to class, but I changed my mind. I worked some overtime the past few shifts. Plus, I went to class the other day and loaded up my new pieces in the kiln. Think it's a perfect time for a little break." You sip on some water. "I'm going to the café in a bit to meet up with Jisung. Then, we'll go back to their place and just hang out again."

"Nice." He looks at you while he quickly beats the eggs and pours it into the pan. "Those two treating you well?"

"Of course."

"Good. You seem happier."

"Do I?" He nods.

"Mhm."

"I guess so." You smile to yourself as trace your water glass, remembering the past moments with Minho; how safe, how warm he feels. How he makes you feel. "Things just finally feel.. settled. I feel content."

"Well, I'm glad you're happy and content." He says with a tiny hint of worry in his statement, but he trusts Minho is learning and is trying to do better. Of course, he never wants to see you hurt. But, he has a big heart, and he also believes people deserve second chances [being that they prove themselves worthy]. He just hopes you are genuinely happy.

He hopes Minho and Jisung have been talking to you about everything. He truly, truly hopes so.

"Yeah, it feels nice." You giggle, tracing the rim of your cup. "What about you? How're your projects going?"

"They're going alright. We completed one, finally. Might pick up another big job about an hour away. Need to build a new space for a client." He sighs. "Which reminds me, I need to follow up with him and set up a meeting to talk about what exactly he's looking for."

"That's great! And you will follow up with him. But for now, maybe just enjoy your day off?" You tilt your head and Uncle Adrian laughs.

"You're right." He slides the plate over to you. "Here, got yours ready first. Dig in!"

"I can wait for you."

"No, you have places to be." He chuckles. "You can eat Y/N. Don't worry about your little ol' uncle." You laugh and bite into your bacon.

"Thank you for breakfast."

"My pleasure." Uncle Adrian continues to talk to you a bit more about work, but he does promise he'll enjoy his day off and not think about it much. You talk to him about Mrs. Pak and how great work has been, how much fun you're having at pottery class. How the drawings and paintings are finally coming back to you, finally easing into your fingertips.

Sooner or later, you get up to wash your dishes and freshen up— leaving the house to catch the next bus and train. You bid your farewell and tell your uncle not to stay up to wait, that your friends will take care of you tonight so no need to keep watch of the side door [and your guest home door]. He insists on driving you to the café, but you promise him the public transportation trek isn't bad and you enjoy taking the trip. You reassure him until you've successfully made it out the door and on your way to the stop.

It's quite nice traveling alone, especially when the train is close to empty. The streets are busy though, mixed with workers grabbing lunch, and people just enjoying their day. You stop by the shop to see Mrs. Pak, but she quickly shoos you away [in a lovingly manner] and tells you to enjoy your day off. When you make your way into Sunday Morning, you don't catch sight of Minho or Jisung. But, you do see a few other favorites:

"Y/N, hi!" JJ smiles from ear to ear and you can't help but giggle. Right next to him is Soobin, working away at making everyone's drinks. Soobin gives you a nod and a wave, in which you return after greeting JJ.

"Where's Minho?"

"Being the worst and not manning the register like he should be."

"I'm busy loading up the cookies since you forgot to do it even after I asked." You hear Minho's voice in the back.

"See? The worst." Minho glares at him as he walks out, wiping his hands on a paper towel before tossing it into the trash. His eyes land on you and his expression softens; Minho subtly biting onto this bottom lip to prevent himself from smiling too wide.

"Hi. Hope I wasn't interrupting your cookie time?" You say as you approach the register, hugging your tote bag close to you.

"No, not at all. JJ's just being JJ." Minho clears his throat while pushing JJ aside. "What can I get you, pretty?"

"Iced coffee, please?"

"Extra sweet?" You chuckle and nod.

"Jisung isn't here yet?"

"No, but he'll probably trickle in soon." Minho shrugs nonchalantly like he always does, making you chuckle as you sit at a table and get comfortable. He follows shortly behind with your coffee, pulling up a chair just as he places your cup down. "Want anything to eat?"

"No. My uncle was off today! He made some brunch." Minho chuckles.

"That's nice. Glad he finally has a decent day off."

"Me too." You pull out your sketchbook, pulling up a picture of a bouquet you helped prepare with Mrs. Pak yesterday. "How's it been so far?"

"Mm, same old. Kinda busy."

"Busy is good." You chuckle.

"What're you working on?" You flip your phone and show him the picture of the bouquet.

"I made this with Mrs. Pak yesterday. We had to help with a small company event and they requested a couple of bouquets for pick up."

"That's really pretty."

"Thank you. I worked hard." Minho laughs.

"You always do." You give him a small, shy smile, heat rising to your cheeks with the way he's looking at you from across the table. "You're still coming over, right?"

"Mhm, of course. You said you wanted to talk."

"I do."

"Yo!" You turn your head to see Jisung walking in, holding onto his backpack strap, headphones loosely hanging around his neck. He waves to JJ and Soobin, instantly spotting you and Minho at a table afterwards. "My favorite people." Jisung plops onto a chair and lets his bag gently fall to the ground.

"Why do you sound like you ran a marathon?"

"I did." Jisung pouts. "No, but we had a team meeting that went on for so long. Too much shit. I'm drained." Minho nods. "Hi cielo."

"Hi pachi."

"What're you doing?"

"Just drawing."

"How'd you get here?"

"Bus, train. My uncle was off and insisted on bringing me, but I told him I didn't mind the trip."

"Oh, he's off? That's good." Jisung shifts his attention to Minho and pouts [whines] again. "I'm hungry." He rubs at his tummy. "My tummy's gonna eat itself." Minho rolls his eyes.

"What do you want?" Jisung smiles.

"Iced Americano. Chocolate croissant. Pretty please?" Minho nods and walks towards Soobin and JJ, muttering a few things as he gets Jisung's order ready. "Cielo."

"Hm?"

"What do you wanna do later with the guys?" Jisung pulls out his laptop and starts typing away, eyes fixed on the screen in front of him.

"Anything."

"Okay, so you'd play Super Smash Bros?"

"Sure." You chuckle. "As long as I can use Kirby."

"Weak." Jisung teases before letting out a small laugh. "Kidding. Deal. How about food?"

"Hm. You know what sounds nice?"

"Yeah?" He questions with a head tilt.

"Burgers." He shrugs.

"Can buy some or make Minho cook it." You shake your head.

"Let's get them to-go somewhere?" He nods.

"Sounds good."

"What're you working on, Ji?"

"Some last minute action items from work." He sighs. "Long ass meeting." He lets out, still in disbelief at how incredibly long [and unproductive] that meeting was. "What are you drawing?" You turn your phone towards him.

"Look at these bouquets I made with Mrs. Pak."

"Yo, those are beautiful." He scrolls between pictures. "You're gonna have Mrs. Pak's business booming soon."

"I hope so." You chuckle. "I mean it'll be busy, but she really deserves the support."

"Agreed." He smiles. "They're really pretty. Let me see the final drawing after." You nod.

"Here, princess." Minho says, the both of you looking up at him.

"Me or her?"

"Just take the food." Minho look at Jisung in disgust and slides his tray over to him before walking back to the counter.

"Well, I don't know! I thought you were bringing Y/N something else." Jisung exclaims before sipping on his iced americano. "Goodness. I needed this." You chuckle.

You continue to draw at the table while Jisung works for a bit in front of you. He talks about his coworkers and how the one thing they did discuss at the meeting was the company's BBQ soon at the office. Their team has decided to bring in a few dishes to contribute, which is unfortunate for Jisung. He tells you that he's tried to look up certain recipes to try, but he ultimately gave up. He insists [and finalizes] that he'll buy ramen for everyone.

"Like, you're going to make a pot of ramen, or you're going to buy the cups and bring it?"

"Shouldn't I just bring the cups? What if people don't want it, then the rest of the ramen goes to waste."

"True, I mean you could always pack it up." He shakes his head.

"It won't be fresh or anything."

"Just say you wanna bring the cups cause it's easier."

"I wanna bring the cups cause it's easier." He does as he's told, making you laugh. At this point, Minho returns, swinging the chair for him to sit in.

"So, what's the plan later?" Minho asks, even though he knows the main thing he needs to do tonight is talk to you. He'll keep it normal though, he'll hang out and let it be a nice evening before he pulls you aside to talk. He just wants to do this gently as much as possible, easing all of this onto you without any restrictions. You needed to know, and he will do everything to keep you comfortable— even if that meant creating distance for you to be in your own peace.

"Maybe you should work first before asking." JJ teases from behind the counter, but Minho simply looks over his shoulder before returning his attention towards you two.

"Order some burgers for takeout then play Smash Bros." Jisung shrugs while looking at him. "I don't know what else."

"We should camp outside in the backyard."

"Camp.. outside in the backyard?"

"Yeah, we have tents. Weather's still pretty nice."

"Actually, that sounds kinda fun." You rest your chin on the palm of your hand, now focused on shading.

"We have a bigger tent that could fit all five of us. And we could use Seungmin's projector to pull up a movie against the side of the house or something."

"When the hell did we get a bigger tent that could fit all five of us?"

"My dad gave it to us in case we wanted to go camping."

"Oh, I didn't know that." Jisung responds with a head tilt. "Kinda do agree. We should set it up later." Minho stands and pushes the chair in, stretching a bit.

"Alright well, let me get—" The attention suddenly shifts to the door swinging open abruptly, a few voices echoing into the café before one individual storms inside. To your surprise, it's Kat; and you're only surprised because you do recall Minho saying whatever they had was done with. You haven't seen her in awhile, and you weren't expecting her to storm in after some time.

But, she is angry.

She's looking right at you and Minho.

"Nice fucking going." Kat storms in angrily, heading straight for Minho who is still standing near your table. "What the hell is wrong with you?!"

"What are you doing? Can you keep your voice down?" Minho furrows his brows and puts his hand out to keep some distance between him and Kat. She's fuming, and Minho isn't exactly sure why— but, he does have an inkling as to why she's this upset. She must have had a few more words to share with him and didn't like the fact that she was [finally] blocked.

"Keep my voice down? What's your problem? All of a sudden, you're blocking me—" Minho sighs heavily.

"Can we not talk about this here?"

"Because of her?" She laughs, making Jisung stand up next to Minho in an attempt to protect you from whatever Kat has up her sleeve.

Though, nothing would've prepared them for this very moment. Not from Kat.

"Dude." Jisung says sternly.

"Not the time." Minho picks up on the cue, trying to get Kat to leave as peacefully as possible. But, of course, peaceful isn't in her vocabulary— so she continues.

"Wow, unbelievable." She rolls her eyes. "It's really funny how you're suddenly so protective over her. You weren't like that before, at least, not that I could remember."

"Kat." Minho calls her name once, and he's hoping it's enough of a warning. It's not.

"Don't start." She aggressively whips around to try and avoid Minho's reach. You're so confused, especially when Jisung is clenching his jaw. JJ is suddenly getting closer, and Soobin is on high alert. Why do you suddenly feel like you're being sucked into this never-ending black hole? Why does this all feel wrong? "Just so you know Y/N, your so-called bestfriends? They've been lying to you and hiding so much shit from you. Especially this one." She scoffs. "He was never even loyal to you, to the point where he let you leave that night—"

"Kat!" Minho yells, grabbing her wrist again. He truly wasn't trying to touch her, or get handsy in his café— in public. But, it's unfortunate that he has to, along with JJ's help. "You need to leave. Now!"

"W-what?" You look at Jisung, then back at Minho.

"Let go of me! Did you really think you could hide from her forever—"

"That's enough! Get the hell out!" JJ yells as he rushes over and holds the door open for her. "Seriously, don't make me call the police. Got the nerve to do this in a damn café, you must be outta your mind!"

"Please don't come back here. I mean that." Minho sternly says, his jaw clenched.

"You're all so fucking pathetic." She laughs, shaking her head. "At least now she knows how amazing you guys truly are." She sarcastically spits out before walking away, her friends [who had been lingering outside] right beside her. People in the café are too stunned to speak about the drama that just ensued, and lots of them are giving your entire group looks.

But, you don't care.

Right now, you don't.

Because this is all going to blow over for everyone else; for you, it won't.

They lied to you. They hid from you.

"Y/N, let's talk about this." You stand and create some distance between you and Minho, Jisung right by him.

"What did she mean?" You shakily ask. "Was it true?" You did have a feeling Kat was part of this history, but you never knew it would be this big. Not something that would just blow up in your face on a random day in this café. Not something that makes you feel queasy, sick to your stomach.

Because now, it feels like everything.

You thought you might have played a part, like you might have been the reason why there was a bumpy past. But now you're understanding that it was never you, that it was her. It was Minho. It was Jisung.

It was everyone but you.

"Was it true?" You repeat. Both Minho and Jisung are silent, and their silence is telling. It tells you everything you need to know. Everything you needed to know that everyone else felt like you didn't. You start shaking your head more, tears steadily falling down your cheeks even though you don't know the story, the details— but what you do know is that you are hurt. The two people you loved and trusted are standing here, looking you in the eye, yet they aren't doing much to make you feel better.

"Y/N, please. I can explain, just let me explain all of this—"

"I can't be here. I-I have to go." You quietly pack up your things.

"Cielo, let me bring you home. Let's just talk—" You look at Jisung and your heart hurts even more. Jisung was supposed to be your other half, and here he is; looking at you with those guilty, puppy eyes. Part of you still hopes it isn't as bad as it seems, that maybe this is all a misunderstanding. It's hard to bypass your gut feelings, though.

"I'm going to go." You look at him. "Alone. Please don't follow me or anything."

"Cielo. We need to talk about this."

"Please. I'm not asking." You throw the bag strap over your shoulder. "Excuse me." You push through, Minho calling your name once—twice— before you're finally outside.

You can breathe.

The anxiety is still bubbling in your stomach, but you can breathe.

You hurriedly walk to the train station to start your trek back home, tears still streaming down your face as you keep your head hung low. You don't even know what this means, what this means for you and your friends, what this means for tomorrow. The day after. The future.

And you're scared.

But just knowing that they've hid things from you, hurts.

It aches.

The pain is dull, but it aches.

The ride home is difficult; you keep your head down the entire time to avoid showing your tears. Your phone is constantly going off with texts from Jisung [you assume] but the most you can do at this moment is silence your phone.

You drag yourself home, head still hung low even as you step into your door and place your things down. You look around your space, your room, eyes landing on the pictures you have. Then, the tears fall continuously; on, and on, and on. You sit back onto your bed, crying into your hands as everything Kat said replayed in your head.

"Just so you know Y/N, your so-called bestfriends? They've been lying to you and hiding so much shit from you. Especially this one."

"He was never even loyal to you."

Minho no longer feels safe, warm.

"Y/N, are you home already?" You hear Uncle Adrian softly call out at your door. He must have heard you come in through the side door, but wasn't able to catch sight of you.

"Yes." You mumble through your words. "Come in." And with that, he swings the door open and pokes his head into your room. His heart instantly drops when he sees you in the bed, crying— wiping away at your tears while you sniffle away.

"Hey, what's wrong?" He sits next to you. "What happened?"

"They've been hiding from me." Uncle Adrian's heart crumbles to pieces when he hears the words come out of your mouth because he knows.

Oh, he definitely knows what you mean.

But, Uncle Adrian doesn't respond and you can't help but look at him to see if you're missing something. You can tell. His look is softer, more worry and fear laced in his expression than anything else.

"Uncle, why aren't you saying anything?" His head drops a bit, letting out a hefty sigh. "Y-you knew about this, too?"

"I'm so sorry, Y/N."

"D-Does everyone know besides me?" Silence. "I've been going around looking that stupid? Because here I was.. going on, trying to get used to the world again and enjoying every moment. Little did I know that everyone was hiding stuff from me." You sniffle.

"What exactly happened today?"

"Kat came into the café today. She was mad at Minho, then she started saying all this stuff to me about my bestfriends hiding stuff a-and lying to me. S-she told me Minho was never—" You pause to let out a breath. "—Was never loyal to me." You look at your uncle and his heart breaks. "I don't even know what she means, but I know it hurts."

"Minho and Jisung were going to tell you eventually." Which, he truly means. He believed they would. He just didn't think they were going to take this long, especially with the way Minho is going about things. He can't say he's mad, but he can't say he isn't disappointed they didn't do it sooner. There was no way Uncle Adrian would've known or kept track of all this, even if he wanted to. He just trusted them to take care of it the way that they say they would.

"But, that's the problem. Why couldn't anyone just be honest from the beginning?"

"This is tough." He shakily says. "I'm so sorry, Y/N. We never meant to hurt you, we just wanted to protect you and keep you safe. We wanted to give you time, however long you needed, to re-adjust.

"Did you not believe I could take it? I would've wanted to know."

"It's not that." He sighs a bit. "Jisung was just worried about you, and he was mainly concerned about letting you get through things one step at time. He didn't want to overwhelm you."

"How bad can it be? Can't you tell me?" He looks at you, but you don't respond as you're trying your very best to look at this under a different light. You're trying to see Jisung's reasoning, but you don't have anything to work with. No one wants to tell you exactly what happened. At least, no one was in a rush to.

Why?

"You should really talk to your friends." He gives you a very small, faint smile to try and reassure you somehow. He wishes he could tell you, he wishes he could ease whatever you're feeling right now. But, he thinks it's best for Minho and Jisung to take the reigns on this one. "Minho, especially."

⇢ 15.5 [cloudy days]: here

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mochinek0 · 6 months

Text

Daminette December 2023: 1-Mystery Theatre

"Welcome back to 'The Mystery Box'." Marinette declared, "I'm Ladybug."

"Robin." Damian stated.

"Now, last week we were going over The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. Afterwards, there was a list of recommended books posted.

1.)The Puzzle Master by Danielle Trussoni

2.)The Silent Patient by Alex Michaelides

3.)Bullet Train and 4.)Three Assassins, both written by Kotaro Isaka and translated by Sam Malissa

5.)The Word is Murder by Anthony Horowitz

And for the more adventurous, 6.)Helter Skelter: the True Story of the Mason Murders by Vincent Bugliosi, Curt Gentry

You were also free to recommend your own favorite tastes for mysteries and crime. Today, we have special case in 'The Mystery Box' and I have a feeling everyone will like this one." she smiled.

Robin sighed, "That's what I'm afraid of."

"We know that many people have already left or are heading home for the holidays." Ladybug began, "So we thought of something-"

Robin sneered, "You thought of something."

"Don't get your feather's in a twist, Bird Boy." Ladybug cooed, "We wanted something everyone could enjoy; no matter how far. Today the mystery is: Ladybug and Robin! You are allowed to send in your questions, but if we feel something is too personal or close to giving away who we are, the question will be thrown out."

"Let the questions flow in." Robin commented.

Question one: Is there anyone you don't want to see during the holidays? There's always that one family member.

Ladybug smiled, "From the comments, I can see that lots of people agree with you; whether an uncle or aunt, a parent or a sibling. I'm afraid there's no one in my family I want to avoid, but there are old friends who turned out to be assholes. Those people I could go without."

"My family." Robin stated, "There was a reason I moved out, but I'm expected to be home because of my grandfather. I'm....excited to see my pets, though."

Question two: Are you going home for the holidays?

"Unfortunately." Robin sighed, "The show will be on hold until the break is over."

"No." Ladybug spoke.

"You're staying?" Robin shouted, "Why is this the first I'm hearing it?"

"My parents will be out of the country." Ladybug replied, ignoring her partner, "A relative is sick and they're leaving soon to help I've been looking up single holiday recipes to try this year."

"Lucky." Robin pouted.

"Robin, you can't cook." Ladybug retorted, "You'd end up burning the school down."

Robin should stay!

Robin, don't leave us!

Robin, what are you making for dinner tonight?

Robin, I'll teach you how to cook!

We can go out to eat!

Shut up! Let the bad bird burn down the school!

Birb

"Should we be concerned how many people want you to burn the school down?" Marinette questioned.

"I assume it has to due with finals." Damian smirked, "Also, I'm not doing it. I don't want to move back. I like my dorm."

Boooooo!

No!

Stay with us!

I got a C-, okay!

I failed -_-'

I don't want to retake that stupid class next year!!!

Need the evidence gone!!!!

Ladybug giggled, "Well, I can certainly say, it's no mystery how much our followers have faith in your cooking skills."

"Ha-ha." Robin spoke, rolling his eyes, "Besides, I can always order out."

"That would require you talking to people." Ladybug rebuffed.

"Not if I do it online." Damian answered, "Like you're one to talk; you're more introverted than I am. I know you have classes in person because there was no other option."

Question three: Are you dating? If so, why not invite her over?

"Not dating." Robin stated.

Ladybug declares, "Robin is my friend and he respects my boundaries."

"I'm Bi and lean more towards guys." he responds, "Girls are too clingy."

Ladybug scoffs, "Chat Noir was clingy."

"No." Robin declares, "Your mental ex-partner was obsessive and should be given a restraining order, should he ever find out who you are."

"Not arguing with you there." Ladybug replied.

Question four: You know each other? What makes Robin different from Chat Noir?

Ladybug rolls her eyes, "Yes; Robin and I know each other, personally. As many of you know, Chat Noir and I did not. To the people who aren't aware, I use to have my own podcast. Chat Noir is someone who reached out to me for a collab. We became known as the 'Bug and Cat Team'. We mostly spoke about the problems at school and social events surrounding the area."

"You don't have to say anything you don't want to." Robin spoke.

"I've talked about it before and several times after the incident; I'm fine talking about it now." Ladybug replied, "A topic came up during a podcast. Someone felt pestered by another individual; they claimed the person wanted to date them and had already rejected them. The person got more insistent and 'tried hard to win them over'."

"They harassed them." Robin sneered, "Just say it like it is."

Ladybug cleared her throat, "During that podcast, Chat Noir sided with the harasser and I didn't. I shouted at him and declared that I couldn't work with someone who thought harassing people was the right way to form a relationship. I shut down my side of the cast and blocked him. Suffice to say, the collab failed and I quit speaking my mind for awhile. Many people blamed me for the way the podcast ended. Some said Chat Noir was only joking. Others declared me the 'School's Voice of Reason'. Robin was the one to figure out who I was and reach out to me. He is the reason I'm back."

Question five: Do you think you two ever will date?

"I don't know." Robin explained, "I'd have to test her, first, if we ever got feelings for each other."

Ladybug smiled, "Oh, you're gonna test me? Is this part of the test, right now?"

"I prefer to get cheap food on the first few dates." Robin declared.

"Oh Kwami!" She laughed, "That reminds me of that stupid list we found: 'List of restaurants/places women refuse to go on a first date. Have you seen that list?"

Yes!

No!

What is it?

Who doesn't like pancakes?

Someone doesn't like pancakes?

They must live under a rock!

"I saved that list. It is now my go-to list for dates." Robin spoke, "Again, bye Ladies."

Ladybug laughs, "That list was so stupid! I would eat at any of them! The mystery is what ladies did that person talk to and why do they hate those places so much?"

"It was probably written by the same people who wants a six-figure working guy." Robin shrugged, "Sugar Daddies and Mommies."

"People!" Ladybug cried, "College people are broke! We are still broke when we finish! We got to pay back those stupid loans!"

"We don't have the money for some five-star Michelin resturant because you got a $2000 dress on clearance for $300 and you want to feel special!" Robin declared.

"You don't want fast food or some homecooked meal someone spent the day on? You don't want a family resturant? Guess what? You're gone! We don't want you either!" Ladybug shouted, "I don't know who told you that's the only way you're getting someone good for the rest of your life. Why do you think so many are invested in celebrity gossip? There's always someone cheating or divorcing; some scandal. Being rich doesn't mean you're happy and you're life is perfect!"

"I agree with Ladybug." he spoke, "If I desperately wanted a homecooked meal, I could just ask Ladybug to make me dinner and I would owe her a favor."

"How about a two star resturant in return?" she commented.

"Deal." Robin responded.

They both laughed.

"You can bring your boyfriend, if he wants to come; a friendly dinner." Ladybug continued.

Robin nodded, "I'll let him know."

Question six: I hear clicking sometimes. What is that?

"Oops!" Ladybug spoke, "Sorry; that's me! ADHD kicks in and I'm usually messing with a pen or a figit toy. I didn't realize the noise was getting picked up."

Relatable

Pen clicker here

I tap my nails on my desk

Leg bouncer!

They have tiny figit cubes!

Marinette smiled, "I'm so glad you all understand. I see a lot of links to....what look like toys. I'll look through them over the holiday."

Question seven: major?

"Uh, that's too personal." Ladybug commented.

"Agreed." Robin added.

Question eight: what made you start a podcast?

"I was bullied a lot." Ladybug answered, "Not everyone listened to me, even when I was right. Slowly, I stopped trying to speak up and just watched and waited for everything to fail. I decided I wanted my voice heard, even if a single person was listening."

"I prefer the illusion." Robin declared, "There's too many people in my life and sometimes, I'm not heard."

Question nine: Who is taller?

Robin began to snicker, causing Ladybug to glare.

"I am!" Robin stated, "Ladybug is....what is that term?"

"Don't you-" she began to scream.

"Fun-sized!" he finished.

"Fuck you!" Ladybug shouted, making him laugh.

"I'm not that short!" Ladybug yelled, "You're just taller and like to pick on me!"

How cute!

Tiny bug?

Tall bug?

Robin lying?

Smol

Sibling vibes

Question ten: Ladybug, what recipes are you looking at for the holidays?

"Oh, a bit of everything!" she commented, "I saw a charcuterie board and some chips and dip. Maybe some soup? I don't want to make anything to complicated. Honestly, it all sounds good. Cookies are definetly being made on Christmas Eve. Usually, I would make chocolate chip or shortbread, but I want to try something different this year. Any recommendations?"

Peppermint Mocha

Hot Chocolate

Snowballs

Lemon Cups

Christmas Kitchen Sink

Peanut Butter Blossoms

Gingerbread

White chocolate with candycane pieces

Red velvet

Pinwheels

"I'm sure Ladybug will look through all of your recommendations and will let you know which ones she chose, when we return after the holidays." Robin spoke, "I will try and come back earlier, but don't hold your breath. We don't need a campus mystery."

"Remember to think out of the box" Ladybug cheered, "and Happy Holidays!"

"Ugh, " Marinette groaned, "I can't believe my knitting needles were being picked up but the mic."

"I'll see if Barbara or Drake are free to look over the audio and maybe find a way to tweak it." Damian stated, "I'll walk you to your dorm, Miss Staying-For-the-Holidays."

"Well, Mr.-No-Five-Star." Mari teased, earning an eye roll, "Want me to cook you dinner?"

"Only if you promise to come over for Christmas." he answered.

"Think Jon's jealous?" Marinette questioned.

"Of me eating your cooking?" he spoke, "Always. He told me if it wasn't for my martial arts training and swordsmanship, he'd be fighting me to date you."

Marinette rolled her eyes and kissed her boyfriend on the cheek.

"You know." Mari spoke, as she cuddled into her boyfriend's arm, "You could have just said I think my girlfriend should meet my family. I would have said yes."

"Still think it was better to keep our lives separate?" Damian asked.

"You mean our personas on the box away from who we really are?" she questioned.

He nodded in return.

"Yes; I do." she answered, confidently, "To many people, I'm soft-spoke or clumsy. I'm not someone people listened to. I don't regret starting my podcast on the side. I am glad you found me. You didn't let one person ruin me and who I was turning into."

"Well, I'd like to see Ladybug come more into play." Damian whispered, "I know she's in there and I like her just as much as I do Marinette Dupain-Cheng."

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#daminette december 2023 #daminette #marinette dupain cheng #marinette x damian #damian x marinette #mystery theatre #podcast #q&a session #winter break #chat noir mentioned #aliases #ladybug #robin #secret identities #mochinek0 #damian wayne

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sohcah-toa · 1 year

Note

omg hii im nrw to ur blog (i lovs it btww❤❤❤🙏🙏🙏) and idk if ur requests are open (if not ignore this plesss)

so basically modern au and kazuha(or xiao/venti) is in a band with 4nemo when suddenly f!reader sends a lewd picture jn the middle if the concert 🙏🙏🙏😩😩 (i was reaally in a rish writing this so ignoer my misspelngs

-hornnyy anon💚💚💚

desperado

⚠️ nsfw, f!reader, smut, modern au, 4nemo [kazuha, venti, xiao] (all separate)

🗒 didn't include all the members of 4nemo, only on the req. also this is like the 1st time i made venti smut <3

🗒 also this was so long, my phone started lagging 😂 but im really happy to make this <3

🎶 Kazuha as your ex / Venti as your old friend / Xiao as your frenemy

💌 masterlist

— little bit of context: you know 4nemo personally since high school but you've been way out of touch with them ++ you love taking lewd photos because it makes you feel confident

— also they're kind of bad boys 😎

🍁

kazuha

You were going on about your day as usual, working at a small store with Lumine and Aether watching TV. Then the TV featured 4nemo announcing their concert this weekend.

You sigh "You know guys, I know 4nemo personally. We were all high school buds"

Lumine laughed "You keep saying that but you have no proof"

You just sighed "I'm still finding old photos, okay? There were no cameras when we were high school"

"Yeah yeah, sure" Aether seemed uninterested

Then someone came in the store, running towards you "You would not believe this!!" Childe said, grabbing your hand "I got 4nemo concert tix!"

Lumine stood up "No way! How many?"

"Four tickets!" Childe said "Would you guys want to go with me?"

"Of course!!" Lumine and Aether said at the same time

"No!" You shouted

Lumine laughed "Afraid we're gonna find out that you don't really know them?"

You groaned "No! Because—"

"Come on Y/n, these tickets were really hard to get" Childe pouted, you rolled your eyes then sighed

"Fine!" You said, panicking inside

Aether then said "Finally, you're going to be able to prove you know them, right?" then laughed out loud

You were sweating, you didn't want to see HIM in person, although there was no way he would see you.

"Are you alright?" Lumine asked "You look like shi—"

"She's probably excited" Childe said "Well, gonna go home to my siblings, byeee" then just left like that.

Aether then rubbed your back "Are you super excited? You look pale"

"I-I'm fine.. probably" You trembled. What if they know the secret?

Finally, it was the weekend. You and others met on the concert. There were a lot of people.

Although you're sure HE wasn't going to see you, you dressed up super nicely and even took some lewd photos before going out. You were feeling confident.

Hours passed, Lumine and Aether was screaming along with Childe, singing all the songs.

You were on your phone because somebody just texted, an old classmate seeing you on the concert.

"Ugh" You rolled your eyes reading the message "Did you and Kazuha get back together?" the message said. "Fuck this" you ignored the message.

You start focusing on having fun with your friends but you couldn't help it, you checked your phone, that old classmate texted you again, sending you Kazuha's private profile.

"No dammit" You groaned to yourself but clicked the photo anyway "Dang it he looks like he's doing better than me"

"Y/n! What are you doing?! The concert is still on!" Childe shouted, he was so hyped and so were the twins.

You put your phone in your pocket, forgetting to turn it off. You were finally enjoying the concert up until it was Kazuha's solo.

You took your phone out again as a distraction, to your surprise a bunch of photos were sent to Kazuha and it was the photos you took earlier. It must've sent while on your pocket, you were moving a lot. You start to panic and grab Lumine.

"LUMINE!" You yelled. It was so loud, Kazuha has a lot of fangirls. His solo is still not done.

Lumine looked at you. You put your arm around her shoulder and showed her the messages, you covered the photos using your hands.

"What are the photos?" She asked, you looked at her nervously, sweating "No! Wait no! Let me see"

She grabbed the phone and saw it "NO YOU—!"

"Give me back!" You grabbed it back, blushing "Shut up" you whisper to her.

The band announces that they're gonna have a short break so you and the others went to some place less crowded.

"YOU DID WHAT?! THAT'S SO CREEPY!" Aether yelled so you cover his mouth.

"It's okay if you don't really know them, this is going too far y/n" Childe said judging you

You groaned "I didn't even send it on purpose. You think I like this?!" you were about to cry.

"Too bad there's no unsend button" Lumine sighed "What do we do?"

"Come on guys, will he even notice the message? He has like tons of fans. He probably won't see it" Aether said, trying to comfort you but it isn't as comforting as he thinks it is.

"But the thing is—" You try telling them the truth but you keep getting interrupted.

"Yeah, he probably won't even see it" Lumine backed Aether up.

"The things is ——"

"Let's go back to the concert" Childe said

"GUYS! HE'S MY EX!" You accidentally yell. All went quiet then laughed then went quiet again upon seeing you all worked up.

"For real?" Lumine asked "No, you're lying. I know you're lying face"

You explain them everything. How you broke up because of all the busy-ness.

After all the explaining, you all came up with a plan to go backstage and destroy his phone. He can probably buy a new one.

"Few minutes before the concert continues. We can do this" You tell them, desperate to destroy that phone.

You all walk in backstage using Childe's connections. Everybody was so busy that they didn't even notice you.

You all start looking for Kazuha separately to be fast. Then finally you see him walking inside a room holding his phone.

"No no no no" You whisper to yourself, going towards him but the busy crowd made you go slower.

Finally you went inside the room only to see something surprising.

Kazuha was jerking off to your photo, his phone on his hand.

"Oh my God" You gasped. He immediately zipped his pants up and ran towards you. You were about to go out but he pushed the door closed.

"Listen—" He started talking.

You can't even face him. You know to yourself that you still haven't moved on from him. One look and it's all over.

"Y/n" He called your name "Why did you—?"

"It was an accident!" You finally turned to look at him, he looks so handsome "J-Just delete it!" you blushed trying to grab his phone but he immediately pulled his arm back.

"No way, this is mine" He smirked a little "You're blushing"

His other arm was still on the door, keeping it closed. His face was getting closer and closer to you. You both stare into each other's eyes for what felt like an eternity.

You were speechless, getting lost in his eyes "Kazuha, you have a—" then you felt it.. again after all these years. His lips on yours.

He caressed your cheek, pulling you deeper into the kiss. He pulled back "Still got that spark"

He held your hand and placed it above his bulge "So help me?"

"Fuck" You whispered to yourself and climbed on top of him, he pushed you against the door and kissed you roughly. His hands travelling all over your body. Your legs wrapped around his waist.

"Still so fucking sexy" He whispered, kissing your neck.

You pushed him a little and removed your shirt, your removed his clothes too.

"Shut up and fuck me" You breathed hard, rubbing yourself against him. For some reason whenever it's Kazuha, you can't control yourself.

"Gladly" He bit your lower lip before going down to your chest "Damn"

He ripped your bra off using his other hand, your breasts bouncing from all the grinding you both have been doing "Kazuha, hurry up, you have a concert"

"Forget the concert" He whispered, licking your nipples making you moan "I'd rather fuck your brains out"

You reach out to rub his erect cock, you unbuttoned his pants and he helped removing it, also removing his boxers along with it.

You can now feel his erection on your underwear, he continues to suck your breast left and right, making you even wetter.

You grab his cock and start stroking it as fast as you can.

"Just like back then huh?" He laughed a little, it was so sexy "I missed this"

You slide his cock inside your underwear, your pussy throbbing from feeling his cock at your entrance.

He kissed you again, sucking your tongue. You moaned "Fuck me already before someone comes in"

You grab tight onto his shoulders as he pushes his cock deep inside you.

"You got bigger?" You asked, nibbling on his ears.

"I just really missed this" He whispered, leaving small kisses on your neck as he starts thrusting up and down. The door making noises everytime he pushes himself into you.

"Ah— fuck, Kazuha!" You moaned loudly, your eyes rolling at the back of your head from the pleasure. He starts sucking your nipples again, adding more pleasure making you go insane.

He was so hungry for you, all these years, he's been holding himself back. He starts to get rougher.

"Kazuha~" You moaned, your nails sinking in his back as he goes deeper inside you.

Then someone knocked, the door kept making loud noises because of you guys that someone has actually noticed it.

"Kazuha? Who's in there? The concert's about to be continued!" That someone was Venti.

Kazuha refused to answer. He focused on fucking you, thrusting up and down, holding your legs that was wrapped around his waist, having no intention of stopping.

Then Venti starts opening the door, it wasn't locked so the both of you were pushed a little but Kazuha just slammed his cock harder into you, closing the door again.

"What the hell? Kazuha? Who's in there with you?" Venti asked.

You've been holding your moans in, biting Kazuha's shoulder a little bit to muffle your moans.

"Fuck— off!" Kazuha grunted, kissing you again "You feel so good" he whispered to you. Venti went away, annoyed.

All you could do at that moment was moan his name, begging him to go faster because you were about to cum.

"Make me cum Kazuha, don't stop" You gritted your teeth, groaning loudly "Shit"

"Cum with me" He grunted, he was panting and sweating.

You start trembling, feeling your climax "I-I'm cumming" you moaned, grabbing his hair.

He moaned loudly before thrusting one last time, cumming inside you, he pulled his cock out, his cum dripping down on the floor as he puts you down gently.

Both of you were trying to catch your breaths. What happened was so insane and impulsive. It just happened.

You both hear the crowd going wild, chanting 4nemo.

"Oh shit the concert" You immediately start getting dressed and he did the same.

He kissed you, slipping in a little tongue before pulling back "Dinner after the concert, wait for me" then he left.

"What have you done, y/n?" You asked yourself, trying to stay calm but your heart was pounding. It was impossible. You felt giddy, you couldn't help but smile.

You went out of that room and suddenly there was no crowd anymore. Everybody was focused on the concert again. The only people there are some others and your friends.

You immediately came up to them, trying to calm your heart.

"Where the hell were you?" Lumine asked.

You smiled immediately, you couldn't help it.

"We also saw Kazuha leaving that room" Aether said, suspicious of you.

"No way they met guys, it was a coincidence, let's go back to the concert" Childe insisted

"Right, let's go back!" You said, changing the topic.

"I broke a bunch of phones" Lumine said as you all went out there.

The concert was over but you refused to go home. Your friends kept asking you why, they were so curious they waited with you.

"I told you guys you didn't have to wait with me" You tell them.

"You've been acting weird since you came out of that room" Lumine said

Then someone walked towards you "Ready?" it was Kazuha.

The three were shocked, their jaws open.

"Bye guys, see you tomorrow" You tell them. Kazuha wrapped his arm on your waist pulling you closer to him and then kissed you, slipping a little tongue again before pulling back.

As you and Kazuha walk towards his car. The three were still shocked.

"They kissed" Aether said "She isn't lying?"

"There was defnitely tongue on that kiss" Childe said

Then Lumine yelled "Son of a bit—"

Who knew an accident like this would turn your life upside down?

End

🍃

venti

"Look, that's Venti right there" You showed Diluc a photo, Diluc who doesn't seem to believe that your old friend is now a very famous person.

"I honestly don't care" Diluc sighed, putting down card and saying "Uno"

"You don't believe me though" You pouted a little, dropping a card down "Plus 4 Kaeya"

"Gah" Kaeya groaned "I hate you guys"

"Let's go to the concert!" You suddenly blurted out as Kaeya gets 4 cards from the deck.

Diluc sighed "If you'll shut up about it fine"

Someone opened the door "Sorry guys I'm late" Jean said.

Then Kaeya threw all his cards on the table "New game, Jean's here, too bad Diluc, you could've won"

"You suck" Diluc said

You were out alone getting some tickets for the concert. Turns out Jean and her sister was a big fan of 4nemo. So you'll buy five tickets.

On the way to the ticket booth, you saw someone familiar. VERY familiar .. in disguise.

You walk up to him "Venti?"

His eyes widen "What the hell? Y/n? Shh not too loud. I'm trying to lay low"

"I was about to get tickets for your concert" You tell him with a huge smile.

"Nice, how many?" He asked and you answered "I'll give them to you for free, you've helped me many times in other classes before. If it weren't for you, I'd probably be poor and drunk. I mean I still drink a lot but atleast I'm rich"

You laugh at his little joke "You've always liked drinking. Want to go for one right now?"

His eyes sparkled "Do I?!"

That day, you and Venti tried to catch up with one another but you both ended up getting drunk and sleeping in a nearby hotel. Nothing happened or anything, you were both just too drunk to even go home.

"I'm so excited!" Barbara said, she was so happy to go to the concert while the two men groan and sigh back to back.

"This is a huge area" Jean said "Thank you for getting us the tickets"

"No problem at all" You smiled

"No problem at all because she didn't even pay for it" Kaeya said "If that's even true"

"It's too good to be true" Diluc said. Finally, they both agree on something.

"Now you're interested" You raise an eyebrow, annoying them even more.

The concert started. You see Venti up on the stage, it feels so surreal. He seems different when performing.

All you can feel for him is happiness. Truth is, you and Venti have been texting each other ever since that day. You scroll through your messages and smile, looking at him on the stage and then looking back at the messages. You take a photo of him at that moment and tried sending it to him.

But someone accidentally bumped into you causing you to click on another photo and hit send.

"No" You were so shocked by the photo that has been sent that you have no words. It only sinked in to you when 4nemo exited the stage for a short break.

"You ok?" Kaeya asked "You went quiet there for a second"

"It's unusual for you to be quiet especially when you've been bragging for forever that you know them" Diluc added, it's so rare for him and Kaeya to get along.

"I— did a mistake" You start panicking

"Oh y/n. It's okay if you lied about knowing them, it's just all good and fun, no need to panic" Jean said, calming you down.

"I might have— sent an inappropriate picture" You whisper to them, you made sure Barbara wouldn't hear.

"WHAT?" Jean shouted a little

"How did this happen?!" Diluc asked, he's now frustrated too

"Why did you even have that kind of photo in the first place?" Kaeya asked, curious about something not important at the moment.

You groaned "I-I gotta delete that on his phone. There's no way he could see that"

"Answer my question first" Kaeya said

It was because you were trying on your new underwear, you had to see it for yourself so you took a mirror selfie. There is no way you'd tell Kaeya that.

"Shut it, perv" Diluc sighed "Okay, you're friends with him right? So just ask to borrow his phone"

"But we have to go to the backstage for her to talk to him" Jean added, also thinking of ways to fix this.

"What's happening?" Barbara asked all of you. Everybody went quiet.

"Nothing, here's money, go buy merch" Jean said giving her money. Barbara gladly left.

"I'll charm the guards" Kaeya said, all looked at him and laughed a little, even Diluc.

"Jean, you do it" You suggested

"But I'm not good at—" Jean panicked too but agreed because she wanted to help you "Alright, I'll do my best"

"Kaeya and Diluc, make sure no one bother me and Venti when we talk, please, I don't want anybody to know" You begged and they agreed.

You all try going backstage but as expected, there were guards. So Jean was up.

She actually did it so fast, it's insane. As Jean charms the guards, the three of you went to find Venti.

"There he is" Kaeya pointed at Venti, going inside a room. All of you went there. As per the plan, you went in and the two guarded the door.

"Venti, h-hey, hi, what's up?" You asked, laughing nervously.

"Uh— y/n? What are you doing here? This is the bathroom" He said confused

"Oh oops, anyway, can I borrow your phone for a second?" You asked, he looked at you intensely.

He walked towards you, getting closer and closer "What are you hiding?" he asked, covering the door so you wouldn't get out "You're acting suspicious"

"Alright, we're friends and we're adults. We slept in a hotel and nothing happened so I might as well say it right?" You were so nervous, you just kept on blabbing stuff, your heart was pounding as you continue "I might have accidentally sent something inapproriate to you, I swear it was an accident"

"What is it?" he asked, putting his hands on his pocket.

"I-It was a photo of me in my underwear. I was trying some new stuff I bought and I wanted to see what I looked like so I took a photo and forgot to delete it" You just kept on talking and talking, feeling awkward every second "I was sbout to send you a photo I took earlier while you were performing and someone bumped into me and I accidentally sent that"

"Hmm, you're being way too defensive, I don't know if I'll feel hurt or flattered" He said, finally taking his phone out from his pocket and opening it.

You tried to grab it but he was way faster than you.

"Great photo" He looked at the phone and then at you "Are you wearing it right now?"

You immediately blushed "J-Just delete it! S-So we can get on with our lives!"

"I was pretty disappointed that nothing happened at the hotel" Venti said

"We were also 'pretty' drunk" You roll your eyes "Just delete it, you have a concert to get back to"

He kept staring at his phone "You look so pretty here"

"Venti!" You blushed

"What? I'm only human, I like pretty things" He said, still staring at his phone, sitting on the closed toilet.

"T-Thanks" You feel shy all of a sudden. You didn't mean to look at his crotch but you did and he was hard so you said "U-Uh— I gotta go"

"Do you really want to go?" He asked. You gulped a little, afraid to admit that you're disappointed too that nothing happened at the hotel.

You stopped on your tracks and turned to look at him. He has a bigger bulge now which is turning you on at the moment. You two were alone in that bathroom and you were wearing the underwear in the photo.

Venti stood up so you walked closer to him "I admit I was— you know" you try to look at everything but him "I was disappointed too"

"That nothing happened?" He asked, holding your hand "We can change that right now"

You felt giddy all of a sudden. All the other noises exited your brain. All you could hear was your heart pounding out of your chest.

You were the first to make the move. You kissed him right there. Not holding anything back. He wrapped his arms around you and pulled you deeper into the kiss. It was gentle.

He carried you and sat you down on the cover of the toilet then he kneeled down, as the kiss becomes even more aggressive, he took the moment to undress you "You're really wearing it"

He grabbed your breasts, pinching and fondling it making you moan a little "Venti.."

He pulled your pants off, seeing your underwear "Damn" he whispered, his tongue playing with yours.

It was kinda unfair that you were the only one with underwear on so you took his shirt off and said "Take off your pants too"

He chuckled slightly, kissing your nose "Alright" he took his pants off and also his underwear "This too right?"

You gulp a little seeing his erect cock, you feel your underwear getting wet, not wanting to wait anymore so you kiss him and stroked his cock up and down, catching him by surprise.

He slowly placed his hand above your crotch, rubbing it, he slowly removed your underwear.

"You're wet" he muttered to himself with a smile. You stood up and pushed him lightly on the toilet, making him sit "Whoa, aggressive, I like it" Venti placed his hand on your back and pulled you to a kiss.

"Of course, let's take this off" You said, taking his underwear off then sitting on his lap.

You were both so intoxicated that you forgot Kaeya and Diluc were just outside. You start stroking his dick, he whimpered and pulled your hips closer, kissing your neck.

You start moaning, feeling his cock go inside you, he squeezed your thighs, moaning.

Your breaths soon became heavy as you move up and down, his cock hitting the right spot "Venti.." you whispered, holding onto his shoulders for support.

Venti bit the bottom of his lip, moving his hips, slamming inside you making you squeal a little.

"D-Don't make me scream, people are o-outside" You had trouble speaking because of the pleasure. Venti just smirked and licked your breast "Venti!" you whisper.

"You feel so good right now, I can't help it" Venti said, grabving your hips so he could move, making you fall on top of him, just letting him fuck you.

Your moans became louder and uncontrollable as he becomes even more aggressive with you. You both stood up, he pushed your back lower, you held on the counter near the sink before he pushed his cock inside you again.

"Fuck Venti!" You moaned, you see yourself in the mirror as he fucks your pussy. You see him looking at the mirror too, the sight turns you on.

You feel his cock twitch inside you with every thrust he makes "I-I'm close.." Venti grunted, slapping your ass.

You were sure the others could hear everything, even the way his cock smacks inside you.

"C-Cum inside me" You muttered, losing your mind.

He just continued thrusting until you feel something warm inside you. You stood up straight, your knees about to give out but he helped you.

"Holy shit y/n" He was catching his breath "Amazing"

"I would've wanted it longer but I can hear the people outside waiting for you guys" You tell him, you start getting dressed.

He pulled you again and kissed you on the lips "Just one word and I'm out of there"

"Venti.. no! Go out there, the people want you" You tell him without ill feelings. You're really happy he gets to achieve his dreams.

Venti nodded and got dressed too. After the both of you are finally decent, you both went out.

Kaeya and Diluc was there, blushing, even their ears were red.

"Oh hey" Venti greeted them, not even ashamed "Alright y/n, catch you later" he said going back to the stage.

"What the fuck?" Diluc sighed

"We wanted to go away by the way! But we became worried someone might came in!!" Kaeya was so flustered.

"S-Sorry, you guys are the real ones" You giggled a little

"You owe us big time" Diluc said marching away, his ears were so red it was adorable.

"Come on, Jean's dying out there" Kaeya walked away too.

You look on the stage and see Venti with his other members. Then it hit you, you live in two different worlds.

You sigh as you go back to the concert yourselves.

The concert was ending, everything felt like a dream.

"Before the day end, I have an announcement!" Venti said, everybody cheered. This caught your attention, he continued "I have a girlfriend!"

Everybody still cheered. Your eyes widen. Your three friends look at you with wide eyes too.

Diluc whispered "He fucked you but he had a girlfriend?"

"Dude.." Kaeya rolled his eyes "So clueless about romance"

"And she's here!" Venti added, the crowd goes wild "To y/n, this is for you!" he said, he started singing a very beautiful song about how he liked a girl back then but didn't have the guts to confess.

The crowd was wild, there were a lot of people there but Venti was only looking at you, like you two were the only ones in there.

End

👹

xiao

"Don't you know that guy?" Hu Tao asked, watching television while eating.

"Yes, he was our classmate back then, right y/n?" Zhongli said.

You groaned and rolled your eyes "I don't know him"

"Lies" Zhongli chuckled before drinking his tea.

"Why do you hate him so much?" Hu Tao asked

You stood up "He's.. sucky. I'm leaving by the way"

"Wait!" Hu Tao stopped you "I got us tickets to the concert though, please don't be mad at me" she pouted.

You sighed "Fine, I'm going, for you" then you left.

You and Xiao has this weird competition on who's better at everything. Obviously, he won. That's what you think anyway.

But overall, he's not so bad. That's what you thought until you saw him again while walking.

"Ugh" He groaned in disgust upon seeing you "Why do people leave their trash everywhere?" he asked, looking at you.

"Shut the fuck up!" You couldn't help but fight back "What the hell are you doing here?"

"To see my friend? Zhongli, not you" He laughed, people started recognizing him.

"Good thing I was leaving then" You roll your eyes

People started to ask for pictures "See you, right? You're going?"

Before you knew it, you couldn't leave because of all the people surrounding the place. You went back inside and saw him. The guards stopping all the people.

"Sorry, people love me" He sighed

"Argh" You were annoyed. Both of you started walking where Hu Tao and Zhongli is.

He started walking faster, but then so did you, and then so did he until you were both running there at full speed.

You open the door and yelled "I won!! Loser" You laughed at his annoyed face while you try to catch your breath.

"I was just tired" He said, panting "Whatever. Hi Zhongli" he waved, still trying to catch his breath.

"OH MY GOSH! XIAO FROM 4NEMO!" Hu Tao was such a huge fan, you had no idea why "Can I have a picture?"

"Why?" You asked her in disgust, you walk away while they take pictures.

"I never get tired of seeing you two" Zhongli talked to you "Stop the competition it's been years"

"You wouldn't get it" Xiao said, sitting beside Zhongli "May I?"

"Have all the tea you need Xiao" Hu Tao said, clearly very excited "So— Aether is on the 4nemo"

"Aether is her bias, sorry" You smirk as you tell Xiao that.

"Whatever y/n, Aether is great by the way" Xiao said, drinking his tea.

You pour yourself tea too and start drinking.

He starts drinking it a lot faster, he finished it before you "Sucker, now I'm the winner"

"What? It's just drinking tea! I hate you" You clench your teeth, he's such a child.

"They're always like this Hu Tao, don't worry" Zhongli said as Hu Tao chuckles nervously.

"There is so much sexual tension" Hu Tao sighed

"I know. Xiao! Y/n! Just get a room" Zhongli sighed too

The day of the concert finally arrived.

"Whooooo" Hu Tao was cheering. Zhongli is quiet as usual, and you, were kinda annoyed seeing all the pictures of Xiao outside.

You just started speaking to somebody but it's not that serious. You took a quick sexy pic last night so you could send it to him later. You giggle to yourself thinking about it as the concert started.

Xiao looked like a rockstar, you don't like him but man did he make your heart flutter while playing the guitar.

"Was I just briefly attracted to Xiao? Hell no!" You shout, even if you did, nobody would hear you since everybody was going wild.

You look at him again, Xiao on the stage, he was glowing, he looked so different. Your face felt hot and your heart was beating in your face, if that wasn't enough, his eyes met yours, you were flustered.

You gulp "I-I gotta go to the bathroom guys, I'll be right back" you immediately went to the bathroom to calm yourself "There's no fucking way I'm attracted to him. I mean, is he handsome? Yes. Do I think he's hot? .... Fuck yes, I think he's hot" you sigh to yourself "Dang it, I hate him"

You scroll through your messages to try and take your mind off of Xiao. You decided to send the pic. After sending you realize one grave mistake. It was sent to Xiao.

"Shit, no!" You start panicking, why isn't there an undo message or delete message yet?! You start breathing heavily. It was a full on nude picture, with your face!

You exit the bathroom and immediately told Zhongli and Hu Tao the problem.

"WHAT?" Hu Tao was so shocked, she almost fainted.

"Let's go and talk to him, they're taking a break right now" Zhongli said, you nod, feeling nervous about it all.

"They're my friends, it's alright" Xiao said, seeing the three of you talk to the guards "Well, well, well" he looked at you

"Y/n has something to say" Zhongli said.

Hu Tao was so nervous, she was turning blue, as someone who speaks a lot, she has no words.

"U-Uh, I accidentally—" before you could finish, he smirked

"Oh that" He smiled, you knew it was a bad idea to tell him directly, you should've just stole the phone, he's rich, he can buy another one!

He then continued speaking "Zhongli, Hu Tao, can we have a moment?"

Hu Tao was shaking, Zhongli helped her as they both went out.

"Follow me" Xiao said, you were nervous too but you can't let him see that.

You followed him into an empty room. There was a couch, a TV and a table.

"Just delete it" You sigh

"I already deleted it" He said, sitting on the sofa

"Why did you make me come here then?!" You stomped your feet "Asshole"

"Because I was attracted for some reason? I know, it sucks" He groaned "You're annoyingly beautiful, you know that?"

"Oh you think you were the only one attracted? I was attracted earlier too when you were on the stage, you're not that special" You laughed at him

"You were?" He asked, surprised "Wow, really?"

This caught you off guard "I mean, I wasn't!" you immediately blushed.

He stood up and walked closer to you "You like me" he smirked. You walked backwards.

Your heart was beating so fast, you didn't notice your back hit the wall. He slapped his hand on the wall, keeping you in place.

"You like me?" He asked, his face getting closer to yours "I knew it"

"No, I don't" You answer back, not averting your gaze as you both stare into each other.

There was silence for a few seconds .. until there wasn't. You grab his face and kissed him, his tongue quickly explored your mouth as his hands roam around your body.

"Shit.. we're not supposed to be doing this" You mutter in between kisses but you both couldn't stop, the kiss was very aggressive.

"Shut up and undress" He said, kissing your neck and ears while you take your pants off.

He removed his shirt and pants, giving you time to take your blouse off. After that, you both immediately went back to devouring each other's mouth. His hands carressed your breasts then he removed your bra.

You feel him rub on your thighs, his cock was hard. You reach to rub it above his boxers and whisper "This is the best you got?"

He stopped kissing your neck for a second and carried you bridal style.

"Xiao, what the fuck?" You ask him as he tossed you on the very soft sofa. Your breasts bounced as he crawls on top of you.

He removed your panties and he removed his boxers, he said "I will make you beg for this cock"

He licked your stomach up to your breasts, you stroke his soft hair, cleanching your teeth because you didn't want to let him hear your moans.

Your nipples became hard because he was licking them like a hungry new born. He was so sloppy, while his other finger rubbed your clit.

He so wanted you to moan for him but you tried your hardest not to give him the satisfaction by biting your lip.

"Fuck, you're so wet already" He smirked. You feel coldness on your breasts as he goes down on you, spreading your legs.

"X-Xiao.." You called out to him, feeling weak, everything was happening so fast, he's not giving you time to think, your mind was so blank from the pleasure he was giving you.

You feel something wet on your clit, his tongue was rubbing it up and down, finally making you moan "X-Xiao!" you moaned loudly, holding onto his hair as he sucks you out.

Your feet curled from feeling too good "Don't stop!" you moaned, feeling close.

But of course, he stopped to tease you "Not yet baby" he smirked, he started positioning his erecr cock on your entrance.

"Fuck Xiao, I was close" You tried catching your breath, you feel his tip on youe clit, making you excited "Put it in"

"Hmm" He tried holding back just so he could tease you "I think I want you to beg"

"Arghh!" You groaned, you feel his tip going inside you so you moaned but he pulled it out immediately "Fuck Xiao, put it in.. please!"

"What a brat" He said, you feel his tip go in again but he pulld out "Beg better?"

You cover your face "P-Please Xiao, put it inside me"

"Put what in?" He asked, enjoying teasing you

"Your cock" You just decided to beg properly. Finally, you felt all of it inside you, he wasn't even moving yet but still it felt so good "Holy shit, your — it's big" you breathe heavily.

He started thrusting, pinning your hand on the sofa "You're tight" he grunted, his cock went in and out of your hole, your breasts bounce as he pounds harder "I love seeing you under me" his hips doesn't stop moving, he was an animal.

Your legs wrap around his waist, giving him more access, all you could do was moan and enjoy as he fucks your brains out. He kisses your breasts and neck from time to time but what he truly loves is seeing your face, moaning his name everytime his cock hits the right spot, it turns him on even more.

"Xiao.." You moaned "Faster, please" you were weak, the reason why he was doing his best, he loves seeing you weak because of him, begging him.

"Shit.. you're so beautiful" He whispered, admitting to himself that he was attracted to you. He kissed your hand before pinning it again "You feel so good"

He never stops, in fact he went even faster, making you squeal, with your hands pinned and your legs wrapped around his waist, you couldn't do anything but tremble under him, feeling him whole.

"D-Don't stop! I'm cumming!" You shout, you were a mess, intoxicated.

He kissed your lips, passionately this time "Cum with me baby" he whispered, the feel of his breaths on your skin turns you on even more.

You moan louder, shivering, feeling your climax "I-I'm cumming" your eyes rolled at the back of your head as you let yourself cum, feeling weak than ever.

He then let go of your hand and then held onto your hips, pushing his cock deeper inside you "Fuck, I'm cumming too"

He let himself cum but he doesn't stop thrusting, he continues until all his cum is inside if you. He plopped beside you on the sofa, feeling super tired "Shit, how can I even go back to the concert?"

"Fuck, the concert! I completely forgot" You tell him as you stand up but he pulled you on the sofa again and kissed you.

"I have time" He said "Just one more round"

You come out of the room after Xiao and went to the concert. You came three times earlier, you couldn't Xiao was such an animal. You feel extremely weak. He saud just more round but you had another round after that!

"Where have you been? You missed like a lot of songs" Hu Tao said, still cheering and chanting

"Xiao did too, he just apologized earlier because there was an emergency..." Zhongli was thinking, you became nervous you would be found out.

"I told you, he sucks" You chuckle but think to yourself that he really does suck .. he sucks good. You blush thinking about that.

After the concert, you tell Zhongli and Hu Tao to go back without you.

As expected, Xiao came to see you, he whispered "I guess we're dating now" he held your hand.

"Xiao, what if somebody sees? The hell" You tried to let go but he didn't

He went closer to you and kissed your neck making you moan a little "Let's go"

Dating Xiao is dangerous, you'd be tired all the time, his stamina is insane, you fear you wouldn't keep up but luckily, being competitive with him is where you shine.

End

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