#and my period (which was a week late probably bc I got sick) just started so that’s gonna knock the wind outta me for a few days on its own

[badolmen]

I would like to feel better

[lucy90712]

kinda sad but reader distancing herself from jude bc she’s pregnant and don’t know how to tell him and he’s really scared bc he thinks she’s gonna leave him

A/n: I had to give this a happy ending as I have far too much angst to write that I needed a pick me up

Do it. Just do it. 

I have to keep telling myself those few words. In front of me sits a pregnancy test that I can't get myself to take as I don't want to know the answer. Jude and I have always been really careful as he doesn't want kids, I don't mind either way but because he doesn't want them we always try to be super safe. Despite that for the last few weeks I've just not felt right I've been feeling really nauseous and my period is now a week late which really only means one thing I just didn't want to believe it. As much as I know I'm almost definitely pregnant I don't want to take the test as that will confirm it and then I'll have to deal with the consequences.

How would I tell Jude? Would he leave me? Can I raise a baby on my own? All of those questions swirled round my brain as I still just stared at the test. Jude will definitely not be happy but if I am pregnant I don't want to get rid of the baby as I don't think I could handle all the emotions that come with that. If I don't get rid of the baby I can definitely see Jude breaking up with me which I understand he doesn't want kids and he's just starting out his career at Real Madrid he won't want a baby to look after so I'll probably be on my own in a city I don't know with no support. 

It got to the point that all of the questions were starting to eat away at me so to forget about them I decided just to take the test. What no one tells you about taking a pregnancy test is that the few minute wait for the result feels like a century I swear I was pacing back and forth forever before the screen displayed the result. I chose to take a digital test as it would tell me how many weeks I was as that's something I wanted to know too but then I realised that knowing how far along I am will make it feel a whole lot more real. There was no surprise when I finally looked at the test and it said pregnant 4-5 weeks. 

Finally seeing it confirmed made it impossible to hold back my tears any longer. Instinctively my hand went to my stomach as I thought about how in a few short months I will have a baby the baby that is currently growing inside me. The tears were a mix of happiness as somehow I was actually happy to know I was pregnant and anxiety as I have no idea what the future holds. 

~~~~~~~~~~

It has been a month since I found out I was pregnant and I'm now 10 weeks along. A few weeks back I went for my first ultrasound and got to see the baby and make sure everything was ok which it was. Jude still doesn't know, I've tried to tell him so many times but I just can't do it I either chicken out or the moment just doesn't feel right. I know I need to tell him soon as I'm already starting to develop a small bump which will only get bigger and sometimes I think Jude gets a bit suspicious when I won't eat certain things I usually love as I know they will make me sick. 

Over the past month I have definitely been a lot more distant with Jude which has meant he hasn't noticed when I've had really bad sickness days and that I have a small bump growing. It's hard hiding such a big secret from him which is part of why I've been so distant because I just want to tell him and for us to be a happy family but I know it won't go that way and I can't bare the thought of that. I love Jude so much and I don't want to ruin our relationship but I know at some point I'll have to tell him and deal with whatever heartbreak comes along with that. 

No one apart from me knows about my pregnancy not even my parents or my friends I have kept it a complete secret. Today though I'm seeing my friends and I know they are getting a bit suspicious as when we go out I'm always tired and I don't drink anymore. We aren't doing much today just going for brunch so I got up after Jude left for training and went to where we were supposed to meet. Once everyone was there we went in and got a table and I lasted less than a minute before the smell of someone's food made me feel so nauseous that I had to run to the bathroom. My best friend joined me to make sure I was ok but I knew she wasn't convinced when I said I was fine. 

"Are you ok?" The rest of the group asked 

"Yeah I'm fine" I said 

"What's going on girl you've been acting weird for a while now" my best friend said 

"Ok you guys can't say anything to anyone but I'm pregnant I found out a month ago and I've been hiding it because Jude doesn't want kids and I don't know how to tell him" I admitted 

None of them really knew what to say they all knew that Jude didn't want kids and a baby was never supposed to be part of our lives so they were as shocked as I was. After the initial shock they all started giving me advice and telling me everything would be fine. They all tried to reassure me that Jude wouldn't leave me when he found out but they did say I need to tell him at some point soon and I agree but it's hard to find the right words to say. 

Once I got back home I just sat in silence thinking about life and how I got to this point. I was so consumed with my thoughts that I didn’t hear the front door opening or Jude calling my name as he entered the house with increased panic when I didn’t reply. I only came back to reality when he was stood in front of me catching his breath after I nearly gave him a heart attack. There was a lot of staring at each other as I tried to find something to say while he tried to read me and work out what I was thinking. 

“Love are you ok and before you tell me you’re fine I know you’re not you’ve been acting strange for a while and I just want to know what I can do to make things better” he said 

Hearing him say that was too much for me I just burst into tears right in front of him. His arms made their way around me and he tried to calm me down but that didn’t help. This last month I’ve held back all of my emotions about this whole situation and now they are coming out all at once and I can’t hold them back any longer. I tried to tell him but the words couldn’t escape my mouth so instead I grabbed his hand and took him upstairs with me. I kept my pregnancy test and ultrasound pictures hidden away in my wardrobe so I found them and just placed them in Jude’s hands. This isn’t how I wanted to tell him but I think it’s the only way I can do it without having another breakdown. 

“What is this?” He asked 

“I’m pregnant” I said 

“I’m sorry I know you don’t want kids and we are always careful I don’t know how it happened and I just I’m just sorry” I rambled 

“Hey it’s ok calm down how long have you known?” He asked 

“I’ve known for a month and I’m 10 weeks now” I said 

“Wow we are going to be parents” he said hugging me tightly 

“Wait you aren’t mad” I questioned 

“No of course I’m not mad I’m actually really happy I know I said I didn’t want kids but more recently I started to change my mind especially seeing you with all the guys kids it made me want that with you I couldn’t be happier right now” he said 

“So you aren’t going to leave me?” I asked 

“Of course not I can’t wait to go through this whole journey with you I’m just sad I haven’t been there for you until now” he said 

Hearing that was such a relief but not at all what I expected. I’ve always been told things happen for a reason and this is one of those things I guess. Naturally Jude had a lot of questions so I told him everything like everything I know about the baby and how I’ve been feeling as he wanted to know how I’ve been coping. It felt so good to finally tell him everything and he seemed so genuinely happy which allowed me to actually think about how excited I am too as that’s something I’ve pushed away until now. 

After a long conversation we both went silent and just took a minute to take in what has just happened. As we sat there Jude’s hand made its way to my shirt which he lifted up slightly and just rested his hand on my tiny bump. I watched as the smile on his face got even bigger than it was before I could see him look at my almost non existent bump with so much love that it almost made me cry. This whole thing doesn’t seem anywhere near as scary now that I know Jude is here to support me and I already know he’s going to be the best dad if he loves our baby this much already. 

[panic-in-the-multiverse]

Nonexistent Eating Patterns

Pairings: Matt Murdock x gn!teen!reader

Imagine: you haven’t been eating sleeping or drinking as you should and Matt is there to help

Warnings: not eating, anxiety, dehydration, sleep deprived, mention of panic/anxiety attacks, mention of depression, feeling sick, mention of school and exams and grades, Soft Matt Murdock (that is a warning), idk what more

A/N for starters this is probably shitty, bc wrote this late at night to be able to cope with my current life/mental/physical health. So wrote this to bring me some sort of comfort, so yeah this is probably shitty and I have not proofread it, but ya know that’s fine I guess :)

You didn’t know why, but once a year there was always this period of time where you ate far too little. More so than usual. The other times when you occasionally skipped lunch or breakfast or your usual midnight snack it was always fine, because you only skipped one of those and only once a week at a maximum. But now. Now you have skipped breakfast and your midnight snack the whole week, and lunch nearly every day. You had eaten maybe four times overall this week and your health was not having it. Because at those times when you did eat you didn’t eat much, you nearly spat out the food you ate. Nor did you get hungry. You only had that stomach ache where deep down you knew it came from you not eating, but you didn’t want to acknowledge that. So instead you laid curled up in your bed, hands by your head trying to soothe the migraine and your knees up to your chest while watching some random show on the TV. It was one of two positions that made the ache bearable.

Matt — your “guardian”, and who you shared an apartment with — knew you hadn’t been eating well. Of Course he knew, he was the devil of Hell’s Kitchen after all. Something like that would not get past him, but he didn’t want to push things on you, he didn’t want to push you to eat because it wouldn’t work as long as you didn’t do something yourself. As long as you didn’t ask for help he knew you wouldn’t eat. He knew your condition only got worse with your horrible sleeping patterns, and let’s not forget you were probably dehydrated. It seemed like you didn’t ever get tired, hungry or thirsty. Matt wanted to help you, but as long as you didn’t want the help nothing would change. Because one of the worst things is when a person doesn’t want help, and it’s hard to help them when they don’t want the help, especially with this. So he let it be for the time being, until he felt it had been going on for too long.

You’d had more panic and anxiety attacks this month than you usually had and your depression had kicked in not long ago. Which meant that you were less likely to start eating and sleeping. The only thing that kept you occupied was watching movies and series. You couldn’t do any school work, because that just made you anxious. Even though you didn’t have much in school at the moment (if you compare to other times), you still felt like everything was too much. You were supposed to have five exams, you had one today, which ended badly. The next two were next week, and then two after each other the next three coming weeks. On top of that you were just confused by everything in school and even if you studied you didn’t get the high grades. Everything was just too much at the moment with school, depression, anxiety overall, plus the attacks and panic attacks, let’s not forget not eating, drinking or sleeping. At the very moment you were screwed and you’d gone so deep down that you had no idea what to do.

Every day you felt like you would have an attack, every day you felt like you wanted to cry and scream until next year came. But you couldn’t even force a tear out of your eyes or a scream out of your throat, for some reason you just couldn’t. So you opted to lay in bed and watch movies all weekend instead of studying for your next exam because you wouldn’t understand anything anyway (and the teacher couldn’t explain it to you either).

It was night by the time Matt came home again, he’d called various times during the day to make sure you ate something, though you hadn’t really followed that, as you just took one bite out of your sandwich before you had to throw it away feeling like you’d puke by eating it. So when he came home and heard you were still awake as well as when he noticed you hadn’t eaten, he went into your room, and you in a poor attempt tried to even your breath to make it sound like you were sleeping — even though you knew full well it wouldn’t work.

“I know you’re awake”

Matt sat himself beside you on your bed. Making sure you listened to him as he continued.

“I know you didn’t eat today” he touched your arm gently, which went unnoticed by you, as you continued to stare out in the distance after you had opened your eyes. He touched your arm once more, and this time you felt it as your eyes slightly wandered to his hand which was carefully placed on your arm once more. Your hands had long since started to fiddle with your blanket in an attempt to hide the fact that your hands were shaking from the anxiety that came with being confronted with your nonexistent eating patterns.

“If I make you a sandwich will you eat it” you only shook your head in answer, you knew with the help of his heightened senses he would pick it up, but just in case you answered with a no as well.

“Can you at least drink a glass of water?” you shook your head and said no once more. Matt sighed and after a few moments he went out of your room. He went into the kitchen and took out some candy from one of the cupboards — the candy he hid away for special occasions. Matt also went and got a glass as he tapped on the water. When he heard it flow down he put the glass underneath and waited for the water to fill up the glass (can he now that?). He also put the candy in a bowl and went into your room again.

The darkness in your room made it hard for you to see, the movie had gone onto the credit scenes and the black background did nothing to help you see what Matt did. You only heard something being put down on your nightstand and felt Matt move around in front of you (as you were facing that way). He took up his previous position on your bed and made you sit up, as well as tell you to put on your favorite movie, he didn’t care if he couldn’t see it nor if you had already seen it today, it was the best way to distract you.

When the movie had started to roll he started to talk. “I know candy isn’t exactly food, or the food you need right now, but you eating anything is a progress, so can you at least eat some of it” your breathing had stopped for a few seconds, scared of even trying to eat as it made your stomach ache. Matt felt this, and added to his previous words. “Please Y/N, if you won’t do it for me, do it for yourself, I know that deep inside you want to get better, you’re just scared to try, scared that it might get worse, but I promise it won’t, it’ll only get better” he felt your head slowly nod as you slowly reached over to the bowl. “How do you know that” Matt sighed softly once more, he knew that if he said the wrong thing it’d make you put away the bowl. “Because it has before hasn’t it, before it went way too far until you needed to get help, because you couldn’t do anything, I just want to help you before we get to that, okay” you hummed at his answer and picked up a chocolate bar. When you put it in your mouth it melted and you got a tiny moment were you felt like everything would be okay, the sweetness was nice, it was far better than eating a sandwich that’s for sure. With that you took another candy bar and eventually you had eaten all of it, while being distracted by the movie in front of you. Matt had listened in on you while you ate, making sure you were okay. He drowned away everything but you, only focusing on you, to make sure you were nothing but okay.

After a few moments your stomach started to ache, it felt like it harnessed everything you ate. Matt made you drink the glass of water before he laid you down on the bed. His arms wrapped around you, as he cuddled close to you, giving you comfort. You breathed in his scent and felt his overall calmness — which always seemed to calm you down in turn. It was like he transferred some of his calmness over to you.

Eventually Matt felt your even breaths as you for once actually slept. That’s when he promised that he’d make sure that you actually ate the next following days, because he didn’t ever want to experience this with you ever again. Though if it did happen again he would always be there to help you, over and over again.

[fighterkimburgess]

idt they slept 2gether in 7x19/7x20. the every 6 months or so is prob abt last time they slept 2gether b4 she got pregs. wk they slept 2gether in 7x04 & maybe more after that bc adam told kevin “we hung out a couple of times” & wdk how much time pass each eps. 7x19/7x20 they were both still sad abt miscarriage & wouldnt want to risk getting pregs again. kim said to adam “dont wk better than this” in 8x05 bc last time she got pregs. she wouldnt have said that if they slept 2gether in 7x19/7x20.

So I did the maths on this timeline, because I am an idiot and ridiculous in the best way. Here’s as close as I can get to an approximate timeline between 7x04 and 8x05. Again, this is the Chicago verse and they hate good timelines but here we go.

7x04 - sometime roughly early September. It’s still warm enough for tailgating in Chicago, and that football season started September 5th that year. The Bears played at home on September 15th to the Broncos, which would fit right around when we know this would have kicked off. It was also their first home game of the season, explaining tailgating. The crossover ran the space of three days I think? Based on people changing clothes? So Kim and Adam slept together some time around the 18th/19th

7x05 - picks up nearly immediately because in Adam and Kevin’s conversation about the coffee you cannot tell me that Adam Ruzek is not stride of priding through work. I’m sorry, you can’t. The man is oozing “just got laid”.

7x08 - Kim finds out she’s pregnant. She’s told she’s about four weeks, which puts this at the end of September/start of October. Pregnancy is counted from the date of your last period, so four weeks pregnant tends to mean it’s two weeks since conception. Considering the way it’s gotten visibly colder in the “Jay’s missing” episode, I’d go with first week of October.

7x11 - Kim’s had the first sonogram, and judging from the sonogram images we’re hitting right around nine, ten weeks of pregnancy, so mid November and two months since they slept together.

7x13 - Kim says the baby’s the size of a naval orange. According to thebump.com (yeah, I know, but this is the sources I’ve got), a foetus is the size of a naval orange at around fifteen weeks, putting us at the start of January or so. Which makes sense based on the weather, and that Kim isn’t looking as exhausted as before. We know from 8x13 that she really struggled with morning sickness, and generally around week 12/13/14 is when that stops.

7x15 - we can fairly firmly place this to early/mid February. The weather, the fact that Kim’s back in work and her visible injuries are healed, she’s been gone for about a month. Plus the way she and Adam have the fight? He’s been working and attempting to cope, but she’s been at home thinking.

7x16 - the hockey tickets. This doesn’t definitively place everything, but it’s probably coming into what would have been the tail end of the season, I’m comfortable marking this as late February/early March (from here the pandemic is fucking up my timelines but they treated the season like the end happened in April so I’m doing that too)

8x03 - this is roughly November/December, we can see it based on the Christmas decorations in the back of the upstead kiss. Adam says they go to the same bars, they don’t see anyone, they don’t date anyone, so I’m pretty comfortable saying they slept together at least once while they were covid bubbling. They both ostensibly live alone, it made sense to bubble together.

8x05 - I’m calling this for January. There’s no Christmas stuff up, it’s clearly cold out, and even without the snow you can tell it’s chilly. We know it’s about a month since Makayla’s cousins took custody too.

In 8x05 Kim says “so is this part of our relationship now? We’re accepting that every six months or so we sleep together?” It’s been at least eighteen months since they slept together in 7x04. It’s nearly a year since she lost the baby. Kim Burgess isn’t going to say “every six months or so” if it’s not at the very least a pattern. Maybe it wasn’t around 7x19/20, but they definitely did sleep together at least once between then and 8x05, and I will say that till the end.

[swtki]

HP Boys: Surprise Pregnancy Head Cannons

Summary: The HP boys and their reaction to their s/o (afab) being pregnant when its not planned.

A/N: This takes place post Hogwarts so all characters are 18+, though no real smut happens in this so its not an 18+ fic.

WARNINGS: UNPLANNED PREGNANCY, MENTIONS OF PRO CHOICE OPINIONS, MENTIONS OF SEX IN LITE TERMS, SWEARING, FLUFF, MENTIONS OF ALCOHOL, ALSO THIS IS SUPER LONG SORRY LOL

Draco

So everything is going great for the happy couple, you two just moved into a flat together and are working normal jobs, drinking wine like adults.

And sure, Draco knows he wants to marry you, but he knows you’re not ready to settle down like that so he just plans and dreams.

Due to poor choices, when you’re late by two weeks, you know what it probably is.

Draco doesn’t even notice that you ran out to the store and came back and hid in the bathroom for 10 minutes. CEO of minding his own business ig

You just kinda...walk up to him and hand him all 3 tests while your eyes fill with tears because what if he demands you get an abortion?

Or what if he fucks off to god knows where?

But instead he just looks at you with the most un-draco like smile. Like his face was soft and it looked like he could cry any moment.

“Oh my god,” He says, putting his hand on your belly, “I can be ready for this, but if you aren’t then we can you know...”

“No, I want it” then both of you rejoice bc yay baby!

Cut to 6 months later when your feet hurt so bad you have to lay down and watch while Draco fails to put a crib together.

He eventually gets it done tho.

And when the time comes, he’s built and arranged everything for your bundle of joy.

Harry

So you guys are probably already married, but with everything at the ministry going on, it makes Harry less than a family man.

You both agree that it’s probably better to wait so you can be home and yk...raise it.

Well smart man Harry forgets that to not have a kid you need to use protection.

So of course when your period is late you don’t think about it, until its four weeks late.

That night, you and Harry are laying in bed, and thats when you tell him.

“Harry..I’m late.”

“Late for what?” headass.

You: 😳😐

Him: 👁👁😲😲

He’s hesitant to say anything, because he knows its ultimitley up to you what happens with it until its out.

“I think I want to keep it...you know it wont remember much for the first year and a half so if things are stressful it will be okay and-“

“Love...Its going to be perfect”

Mf built the crib in like 45 minutes I swear.

And of course he forced you to keep up with your vitamins, pre natal care, and appointments.

Swear tho you’re about to kill him because cofFeE

But the way he holds your baby 🥺 its his most valued thing ever now.

Ron

Ron is iffy on the kid thing sometimes.

He does want them, but only later when you guys have lived and travled.

So no, you two haven’t planned nor is it even in the picture when your wedding roles around.

It’s in the early days of the marriage when you see his family at the burrow on the way back from the honeymoon.

And of course Molly knows

Because Weasleys are hyperfertile I swear.

She takes you into the kitchen and puts her hands on your arms, shes got that big Mrs.Weasley smile on too.

“I knew it!” She says and pulls you in for a hug, “How far dear??”

You’re just standing there like🧍🏻

“I can see it by the way you glow! Oh my you and my Ron must be so happy!” This woman doesn’t notice that you’re confused.

“Wait what? Mrs. Weasley what are you-?” Then you count the days, “Oh. Well I guess I just found out for myself”

Her face falls slightly, but then she tells you can make you a potion that will tell you if you are or not, stan.

The stupid potion turns green when you spit into it, so everything is confirmed.

That night, you and Ron are getting ready for bed in the guest room and you decide to tell him.

“Ron, sweetie. We need to talk.” He looks like he’s gonna start crying but sits next to you on the bed.

“Y/N...I know its scary but please, we just got married I don’t want to divorce quite just yet 🥺🥺”

“Ron I-“ you start smiling, “I’m pregnant you dufus.”

He just freezes, for a while. Not saying anything, he just looks at the wall with his mouth ajar.

So you get up and go to Ginny.

“Gin, I broke him.”

“Ew, I don’t want to know about how you and him”

“No, I told him that I’m pregnant.”

“Oh, yeah that would do it. Just I don’t know... Give him a minute?”

You give him several, getting a glass of water then heading back up to the room.

Ginny was right, he needed a minute.

“I don’t...I wasn’t...you were.?”

“You don’t have to stay, but I think we can do it. Plus, you would disapoint your mom if you left so...”

“Okay...we’ll do it. I’ll be the best damn Father you have ever seen.” He says, talking to your womb.

Well...he’s a father I’ll give him that.

Pro of having a Weasley baby: free crib thats already put together.

Even if it looks like a death trap.

“We’ll put some blankets over it don’t worry”

You know how some Dads hold their parters hand during the delivery? Yeah he got sick and was moral support from the outside.

To be fair, you weren’t screaming in pleasure by any means.

Scary. But beautiful.

He shows the kid to everyone, he might be more in love with the baby than he is with you.

Ron see’s the appeal of having kids now.

Neville

Moving in with your boyfriend is always fun, right up until you guys go at it so much you forget protection more than once.

You think about it, then move on with your day.

Until the doctor calls, then “oh fuck”

Romance Neville bf

“Why aren’t you having any wine? I thought it was your favorite?”

“I don’t think fetal alcohol syndrome is my favorite.” BRO HE SPAT

But he looks up with tears in his eyes, and runs over to you to grasp you in a hug.

“Oh my god! You’re pregnant! Oh my - We’re gonna be parents!! Oh my god we’re gonna be parents oh-“ Que you petting his hair till he’s calm again.

Lets be honest, this man probably swapped the herbology books for the parenting guides.

“Well I mean I’m just wondering if we should go with this color or this one”

“Nev, it doesn’t matter. Our baby will not care.”

“I read in my book that Infants actually can recognize mood in-“

He won’t let you do anything during your pregnancy.

Gotta love a man who cries because he loves you so much and you’re having his kid.

“I never had a father, what if I do it wrong? What if the baby hates me and runs away at seven?”

“We’ve got quite a lot of time before then.”

He was there during delivery, letting you crush his hand like a champ.

You can’t help but cry when you see him sleeping on the floor next to the crib, its so sweet.

Fred

You two most likely already had two kids, so you decided to wait a bit so your hands weren’t quite full.

Well...your body decided not to wait.

A test provides the two lines, another wild child.

The two toddlers already run around like thing one and thing two, only with red hair.

I think Fred would gladly make the family dinner, and wear an apron. He’d own it, as he should.

But mf gotta not drop the salad bowl when you tell him of the fetus inside you.

“Fred we are going to have a bee-ay-bee-why.”

Your five year old has just begun to spell 😐

He’s happy tho.

Like over the fuckin moon.

He buys the two kids big brother/sister shirts too 🥺🥺

He knows the drill pretty well, so he isn’t too worried about the future.

But its funny that he still freaks out about the crib and feeding chair since he gave it away, you know because you guys werent having another kid.

He packed a hospital bag and kept it in the trunk, counting down the days.

Hours of delivery (He just sat back and held your hand) only to end up with a room full of 7 Weasley family members.

Fred always said that 3 was his lucky number :)

George

You guys were taking it slow, no marriage until you both felt it was time. And certainly no children before that.

Well you know...things changed when the test was positive.

You slid it over on the table, tears pooling in your eyes. He was stunned and quiet, which made you burst out sobbing because you knew that neither of you planned on having a baby.

But to your surprise he starts to smile.

“I want whatever you want, I’m staying by your side no matter what.”

“I mean...would it really be so bad? A house, a kid, a dog?” He holds your hand as you think aloud.

You both give it a week to think it over and the virdict is to keep it.

Thats when he decides he has to marry you, asap because he loves you and will never let you go especially now.

He loves to gush about the carrier of his child, to him you are a godess.

He’s the Dad with a predestination complex.

“Y/N, I just see him being a star quiditch player”

“George, we don’t know if it’s a him.”

He rolls his eyes “Okay then I can see her being a star-“

He made Hermione take you out for a movie date so he could rearrange your bedroom, since you only had a single bedroom flat.

You come back to a new set up including a cot.

Damn pregnancy hormones make brain go 🥺😭😭

He freaks when your water breaks lol

ceo of driving like a maniac to the hospital.

He can’t hold your hand, he’s pacing back and forth, sweating and maybe crying though he’ll never admit to it.

You get the joy of watching him cuddle the baby while refusing to give your child to you.

“George I’d like to hold-“

“No, you need your sleep honey, don’t worry”

Hogging the child.

Cedric

Its no secret that Cedric wants a baby someday.

And he makes it clear your wedding will be spectacular too.

However, finding out you’re pregnant the week of your dream wedding was a shock.

A shock that made you bang your head into the wall because how could you be so stupid?? We had a plan??

So you decide to wait until after the wedding, that way it wont add onto the stress (happy stress) of the wedding.

Cedric keeps trying to fill your glass at the reception, to which you kindly refuse saying you want to remember the night entirely.

Yeah he’s like 🤨 mhm okay.

You can only pick at the dinner because ew salmon doesn’t sound like an option if you want to keep the contents of your stomach.

As everyone waves goodbye to the car, and you both set off into married life, he leans over.

“I may be out of my mind, but are you...?”

“Pregnant.” His face lights up, pulling you into a hug.

Finally, your car pulls up to a small cottage with lush garden scapes all around, putting a hand out, he walks you both from the car to the door.

“Ced, where are we?”

“Home.”

Somehow it was perfect with Cedric, even when it was rushed.

He loved talking to your womb, even if it was weird that he was talking about the babies future brothers and sisters.

“Cedric, slow down. We haven’t even had this one yet”

Basically he is father of the year before he’s a full father.

He’s there while you deliver, holding your hand and telling you how great you’re doing.

He doesn’t even complain when you insult him <3.

He updates you on everything.

If his eyes aren’t on that child, he’s either asleep or dead.

I think Cedric was meant to be a family man, because he loves everything about being one.

Taglist: @truly-insatiable @amourtentiaa @imdoingathingmom @annasdani @anchoeritic @mullthingsoverinthehotwater @cedricsyellowscarf @faeinorbit

[lesbian-deadpool]

Hi, hm... idk if you've already talked about it bu, how would Nat announce her pregnancy to R ? Before that, how would she react when she , herselfe, found out she's pregnant ?

Okay, but like, this is like one of (if not the only thing) that makes me kinda sad ab wlw relationships (that doesn't involve hate from ppl), is the fact that you can't really surprise your partner with pregnancy. Bc like, that shit's cute af.

So, just for this hc, and well my own self indulgence on this, let's just imagine that Natasha gets pregnant somehow, to both the readers and her own surprise, without her being a cheater bc I see enough of that anyway lol

Natasha finding out:

She thought she was getting sick. That was the only thing that came to her mind. Natasha was coming down with something.

Not that she was pregnant.

It started one morning when she woke up and just instantaneously felt exhausted, which is unusual for the red-headed spy. Considering how much energy she normally has. But not that day, all she wanted to do was stay in bed and sleep for a week, at least. But alas, she had things she still had to do.

It was a fluke. Natasha assumed. Just a one off day, she just needed more sleep. Deciding that she would get to bed earlier that night, and everything would be back to normal the following morning.

It did not go back to normal.

It happened every day for weeks before Natasha concluded that is wasn't normal.

The next thing that seemed strange to her, was her total distaste for coffee now. When she used to love her morning cup, surrounded by her bickering team family, or relaxing in bed with you while you both blinked sleepily, still waking up from the night prior.

But now? Everytime she took a mouthful of the rich, bitter substance, she would like nothing less than to spit it right back out. Her nose wrinkling with newfound disgust for the drink.

It was so unusual that Tony couldn't help but comment on the fact, only causing Clint to gasp, insulted by Natasha's sudden shun of coffee.

Then it was her sore breasts.

Natasha couldn't wear half of her bras because of how much they would hurt her. They were sensitive to the touch, and on a few occasions they would even tingle.

One of the tings that grew to annoy her the most over those couple of weeks, where everything to seemed to be changing with her body and tastes, was how often she had to use the bathroom.

In Natasha's oppinion she felt like she was peeing more than she was breathing. You said that she was (obviously) being over-dramatic, and that she probably just had a water infection.

The final straw was when the nausea got to the week mark.

She felt sick from morning to night.

So much so that her apatite now fluctuated. One minute she couldn't eat a thing. And the next she was starving and only wanted to eat a nice big meal.

And yet. With how smart the spy is, she still didn't come to the realisation of, "Hey, I might be pregnant!"

It was only when she was watching a tv program with you, watching as a newly pregnant woman went through the symptoms. And you made the off handed comment of, "Everything is a pregnancy symptom, really."

That's when it dawned on Natasha. As you were listing off things- "Got a cough? Pregnant. Feeling sick? Pregnant. No period? Pregnant. Cat's rubbing up against your stomach? Pregnant. Sore tits? Ope, you're pregnant. Grandma made you some cookies? Pregnant." -that she was late on her period.

Fuck.

She bought a test that following day.

Well, in actuality, she bought five.

All different brands. All different prices.

And she was shitting herself.

She didn't tell you, she didn't want to freak you out or anything if she really wasn't pregnant.

Now she was just sitting with the nerves rattling inside her, as she waited for her phones timer to go off, so she could see the results.

And when it did, and she turned over each and every one of the tests, one after another, she was met with positive results.

Every one of them said that Natasha Romanoff, the Black Widow, was pregnant.

She didn't know how to react.

She just stood there for minutes, her mouth open slightly as the realisation poured into her.

She was pregnant.

And that scared the shit out of her.

In both good and bad ways.

But most of all, even though she knew that it would be best if she confirmed it with a Doctor, she couldn't wait to be a mother. It was something she had always secretly dreamed of.

And she couldn't help but crack a smile at that.

You finding out:

It had been almost a week since Natasha had taken those tests, and she went to the doctors that very same day for conformation.

And it was true.

Natasha really was pregnant.

Now, she just had to tell you.

And that scared her to her core. Even if she would rather fight a rampant rhino, than admit to that.

You two had been together for a little over two years, but you had never once talked about having kids and starting a family. Hell, you never even talked about wanting kids. For some reason it just never came up in your conversations.

And here she was, about to spring this onto you.

If Natasha knew if you wanted kids, she would probably have done this differently. More of a happy surprise, than this almost confession she had planned.

It was all set up. The pregnancy tests and doctors confirmation all lined out on the table, along with a glass and a bottle of whisky, ready for celebration or, what Natasha expect to be most likely, to dull the shocked pain.

Now all she had to do was wait until you got home.

And she didn't have to wait long. Because as soon as she placed the bottle of brown liquid onto the table, the door opened behind her, and in walked you.

"Hey, baby- What's wrong?" you were happy and chipper when you greeted her, but then you felt the anxiety rolling off of her tense frame in waves.

"I have to tell you something."

"You're not breaking up with me are you?" It was meant as a joke, but the scared honestly could be heard in it from miles away.

Natasha laughed lightly, "Of course not." And then she thought, 'but you might break up with me after I tell you this, though'.

"Then what's up?"

"Come over her." She waked you over to where she stood at the table.

Once you made it and saw what resided on the wooden surface, you realised what was happening right away.

But still, Natasha voiced, "I'm pregnant."

You were silent with shock for the first few minutes, which only increased Natasha's worry more and more.

"Is this a joke?" you had initially asked, "Because if it is, it's a well forged one." You gestured to the doctors letter before you. "And not funny."

"It's not a joke," she told you, "And I get it if you don't want this, but I'm keeping the baby. And if that means you don't want to be with me anymore and want nothing to do with the baby, I understand-"

"Woah, woah, woah," you stopped her from continuing with her rambling, "Who said I didn't want this?"

"Well, we never talked about this stuff," Natasha reasoned, "And with what you said-"

"I didn't want it to be a joke because I didn't want to get my hopes up."

"What?" she asked breathlessly.

"We're really having a baby?"

Natasha nodded slowly.

A squeal poured from her lips when you lifted her up and span her around where you stood, being mindful not to bump into anything.

"We're having a baby!"

"We're having a baby," Natasha nodded along with you, beyond happy that she was wrong in her expectations, all the while happy tears started to well up in her eyes as she watched your extatic self be almost giddy at the aspect of having a baby with the love of your life.

(You want more? Ask me how the team finds out lol)

[ajokeformur-ray]

Hey can I get some headcanons of your relationship with your F/O parents bc y’all are such a cute family dynamic and I wanna hear more about how you all interact🥰💗

and @arianatheangelworld 

asdfghjkl; omgggg~ you’re all gonna kill me asghj 🥺😭😭thank you darlings omggg ~ 🥰🥰🥰💗 I hope that you all enjoy this, it’s always so bittersweet but also so comforting and fun to explore my dynamic with my parental F/Os and, well... isn’t that the point of it all?💖 Thank you thank you thank you for supporting and enabling me omggg ~ 💙😊

Word count: 3, 184 (holy shit I am so sorry... not😂)

It’s a quiet life, but there’s lots of underlying tensions beneath it all.

By quiet, I mean because I spend my days in my bedroom studying (not so far from reality, these relationships😂) but there are underlying tensions because no one in the household knows who Edward Hyde really is - it’s a secret between my parents and I. 

What that means is that it’s tricky for Papa and myself to spend time with one another if other members of the household are awake - as far as they are concerned, Father is my parent and so is Mama, and Papa has no part in that. So as you can imagine, questions would be raised if Papa and I are caught spending too much time together (plus, this is set in the Victorian Era, so you can imagine the scandal of an unmarried twenty-three year old woman spending lots of time alone in a room, unchaperoned, with a man old enough to be her father...)

This is why Papa and I only have our time together late into the night, when said members of the household have gone to bed and it’s only my parents and I who are awake. It’s safer for all of us that way - it protects Father and his name, his reputation and his career, which in turn protects the household members from being turned out onto the streets due to a lack of employment and this in turn protects Father’s family, who always come first.

From the moment I wake up, my parents are there. As you’ve probably gathered from previous posts, I sleep with my parents a lot so it isn’t unusual for me to wake up with one of them. Rare and special occasions mean that I get to wake up with Mama and either Father or Papa. 

Mama’s always up by five in the morning or she’ll fall behind on her chores so if she’s the one I slept with in the night, then I’ll get up when she does. She always insists that I go back to bed and that I go to sleep, but I rarely do. I much prefer to have those early hours with her so that I can help her with her chores and maybe, if I’m very lucky... I’ll get to be the one who takes Father his breakfast tray so that I get to see him early in the morning and so that I can crawl into his bed and get me some extra cuddles before I start my day.

If I sleep in with Father, then the opposite happens and I’m woken up when he gets brought his breakfast tray (7 AM on the dot!), and of course I end up getting up when he does because even though he won’t kick me out of his bed, he also knows that if he leaves me to my own devices in a soft, warm bed, I’ll end up falling asleep until noon and then I’ll beat myself up about it, so he makes sure I am awake and up before he’s done with his breakfast (and if Mama knows I slept in with Father, she’ll bring me some breakfast too!) to save me any emotional distress. 

Father always wakes me up gently... up until a certain point. He will shake me gently while saying my name, which usually gets a sleepy groan from me. Then, it’s onto talking, with his voice going from a whisper and increasing in volume until he’s just above his normal speaking level. He never raises his voice at me and we all know why. If that doesn’t work, then Father will just “accidentally” pull the covers off of me. He isn’t subtle, but he also isn’t mean about it, and if I do genuinely need some more sleep, then he will let me have that. But for the most part, he makes sure that I’m up once he is on the nights I’m in his bed.

I never ever get to wake up with Papa. It just doesn’t happen for various reasons. Firstly, because Papa’s constantly moving around like a lion stuck in a cage and he loves me dearly but not enough to stay in one place for more than a few hours unless he’s already sleeping. Secondly, because he can’t be caught in my bed or vice versa by anyone other than Mama to protect Father’s name etc. Thirdly, I may wake up to Papa crawling into my bed or easing himself in his own if I fell asleep in his bed, but I don’t ever get to start my day with Papa. Our time is night time and that has to be non-negotiable. It does upset me if I wake up in an especially needy mood, but Father and Mama will get me through the day in the meantime.

Mama likes to sneak me items of Papa’s or Father’s clothing to wear when I go to bed. She’s not supposed to but Mama is sleight of hand and I can be quick when I need to be. She and I often have silent conversations in a crowded room and all it takes is for Mama to “accidentally” make a noise, like a quick scuffing of her boot on the floor or for her knuckles to make a noise against the wooden table and I just look at her.  Mama catches my eye and then gives me A Look before she turns back to her ironing. I walk past and at the point where our lower bodies are hidden by the ironing board, she stuffs an unironed shirt in my hand (usually Papa’s) and I walk off, the shirt stowed away under my arm and then placed for safe-keeps under my pillow for the night time. Sometimes it might be one of her night-dresses, but I am comfier in either Papa or Father’s clothes.

There are so many secrets between myself and my parents which are kept from the other members of the household. Between all three of us, we manage it as best as we can, though I have no doubt that the others think we're a little odd. 😊

There are periods which are weeks long where Father is so busy in his laboratory that no one sees him. It's communication .via. letters on the stairs and that's all anyone hears from him. Mama and I worry immensely but Father's always been this way and all we can do is be patient and wait for him. He's a workaholic and he often makes himself sick from all of the working and everyone in the household knows what to do when these times arise, which are getting more frequent as Father gets older.

In especially bad times, even Mama won't be able to get through to Father. I get upset if that's the case, because if he shuts away the one person he loves above all else, it's a serious warning sign. Mama and I have a pact that if she can't get through, then I will. Father is always so protective of me, and now it's my turn to protect him. I take this very seriously, understandably so, and I wait up until two or three in the morning, so late that even Mama's gone to bed and is sleeping. I wait in his study for that time, reading one of his old medical journals, and then I go downstairs, out the back door, and into the laboratory.

It's freezing in there because there's where Father used to carry out dissections and lectures back before his illness (never canonically diagnosed but it's believed to be depression or similar) got worse, so I always take him his old smoking jacket (which doubles as my blanket when I take naps in his study). By this time in the night, Father will be so tired and sleep-deprived that he's more likely to be honest with me, and it's for this reason that I also stayed up so late - Father will assume I'm unable to sleep because I'm so worried about him, and while that's true, it's also because I know him well enough to know what time of night is best for an intervention. Yes, it's slightly manipulative on my end of things, but I am my Papa's daughter and it's with good intentions so I don't linger on this thought for too long. It won't do me any good and my Father's most important. I'd do anything for him.

I find Father where I knew he would be - scribbling in a journal by candlelight, his fingers covered in ink, his hair a mess, yawning every few seconds. A cold plate of mutton is left forgotten by his elbow, only half eaten. I'm just like him when I study so I don't lecture my Father on his bad eating habits -he and I have the same work ethic so I would be a hypocrite to tell him off for something he usually tells me off for. I announce myself by putting his smoking jacket over his shoulders. Father pulls the jacket around himself with a shiver and I smile. You're welcome.

"You should be in bed, Erika." Father frowns in disapproval and I almost want to call him out on his hypocrisy.

"So should you," My tone is sharp with worry and frustration and Father takes a moment to look at me - I never speak to him like this. "Mama's really worried about you. So am I. We haven't seen Papa for weeks, and we - " Just like always, my anger turns to upset and I move away, trying not to cry.

"Erika." I turn back to my Father and I see that he has tears in his eyes, too. He's hurting and even though he's been trying to find a cure for years, he's never been able to find one which really helps him. "I am sorry, I - my work, it is. Well, let's not discuss the details." A pause. Neither of us know what to do, even when there is no one to see or hear us. "Come here." He pats his lap and I make a happy noise, which makes him smile. I love sitting on my Father's lap - it's been something I've done ever since I was a child and it always makes me feel so safe.

I go and I sit on my Father's lap (and have a quiet cry - he knows but he doesn't say anything about it because he doesn't want to embarrass me) and he continues to work, but as the hours drag on and we both get increasingly tired, Father knows that the time for working is over. On these nights when I manage to find my Father in his own mind and pull him back with just my presence (and my very existence is a reminder of what he holds most dear), I also spend the night in his bed.

"Thank you, Erika, for..." Father trails off, but I know what he's saying to me.

I snuggle into his bed, feel my Father kiss my forehead and whisper his love, and then I sleep.

The night is half the battle - getting Father to take a break tomorrow morning will be an even bigger battle, but by then Mama will be awake and we'll work together to save Father from himself.

It's not the first or the last time, but all of us in the family have our Own Moments which require special attentions and solutions, and we love each other even harder during those times.

The reunion with Papa after getting Father to take a break from his weeks of working always makes me cry, too.

Over the years, it's become almost a... tradition, of sorts, for Papa to greet me this way after a long separation.

I could be doing anything - reading in Father's study, writing in my bed, studying at my desk - and all of a sudden, out of nowhere -

"Erika."

Whispered so casually, so quietly, but my entire body freezes. I know that voice anywhere. I drop whatever I'm doing, I tear up, and I turn, slowly...

Papa's smirking at me, a cold and calculative look in his eyes, but I'm not afraid. I'm not even nervous. Anyone else would make me step back with this look, but not Papa. No.

"Oh, my - Papa!" I step forward into his embrace and I melt into the parent I've been missing most of all. I cry, of course I do, and Papa says nothing about it (he and Father aren't so different at all, once you get to know them, though I'd never tell them that. Or Mama. It's a thought I keep entirely to myself.) because he doesn't see why he should need to; he only holds me tighter.

I can almost hear his fond eye roll and it makes me smile.

"It's difficult to understand someone who is entirely incapable of asking for what he most wants, wouldn't you agree? You're the only one he listens to," our daughter.

There is pride in Papa's voice but just like always, I can hear what he doesn't say, just as he hears what I don't say. It's just how it is between us; Papa and I have a level of understanding between us which we don't have with anyone else.

That night, Papa sleeps in my bed with me. I'm never ready to say goodbye to him, or goodnight, either. The following conversation is a nightly ritual because of this:

"Just five more minutes, Papa?"

"I'll be here tomorrow night. you know that. Sleep, child."

"But - "

"Erika."

A warning. No one else receives warnings from the Edward Hyde and lives to tell the tale. So I listen.

"Fine." I know he will be with me tomorrow night. "Stay with me 'til I fall asleep?"

Papa sighs, rolls his eyes, and pointedly lays down, watching me the whole time. I couldn't hide my smile if I tried, so I don't even bother to - Papa taught me to show my emotions and to not hide them.

"Goodnight, Erika."

"'Night, Papa. Love you."

A kiss on the top of my head, and all else fades to black.

My parents and I are very physically affectionate with one another and it's... unusual, especially if you consider the fact that it's in the Victorian Era, but the members of the household find it touching. They get hugs and affection, too! Even if they don't necessarily know how to react to it, they still do get their hugs in the morning and late at night just before they all go to bed (which is between 10 and 11, whereas I go to bed anywhere from midnight to 3 AM).

If I have a nightmare or a bad dream, I am at total liberty to climb into any bed in the house, but of course I make a beeline typically for Mama's bed. She knows nightmares well and she'll simply hold me until I feel safe, and then she'll hold me some more because I get clingy and I don't like letting go. There's been times I've cried because she let me go before I was ready for the cuddle to be over (though those times were when I was much younger) so now she just lets me decide for myself when I've had enough.

With the way I sleep with my hair in two braids, I always get a mass of tangles at the back of my head. Always. I hate it and it always makes me hesitant to brush my hair, which is now midway down my back (so I can’t not brush my hair every day), because I know it’s gonna hurt me. I’ll brush the front parts of my hair and I’ll try to brush the knots out, but it hurts so I stop and I don’t want to brush my hair. 

A part of me is always tempted to just leave it, but at the same time I know from previous experience that hair knots can and will get worse, so during these times I’ll take my brush to Mama. She’s always so gentle, not just with me, but also just in her nature. 

She is such a tender-hearted person and I admire her so deeply for that. She’s incredibly busy so typically I’ll leave brushing my hair until the evening, when she has more time to help me. I don’t always ask her for help with my hair, so when I do, she knows immediately that it’s because I really can’t do it myself.

“Mama, there’s a - I have a knot. Can you help me?”

A small smile and she goes to get her wooden comb. It’s gentler on knots than my own hairbrush, which pulls more than it needs to, and we both know it. Mama is so gentle that it barely hurts me, and within minutes she’s done what I’ve delayed all day.

“How do you want it tonight, Erika? One braid or two?”

I fondly roll my eyes - like she needs to ask. My smile is in my voice as I ask for two, and Mama and I get to spend some time with one another quietly enjoying each other’s company.

Sometimes I return the favour by helping her brush out her hair, but she’s incredibly self-sufficient and she largely prefers to do it herself. Which is fine... I’ll find other ways to help her!😊

“Thank you, Mama.” My words are doubled up with a tight hug, and then I’m ushered off to bed because it’s late and she’s exhausted.

I technically have three parents and each one fulfills a different need for me, so all together, they meet all of my needs and I try, I try to be a daughter that they can be proud of, that they can respect and that they can love unconditionally. I try so hard every day to live in a way to honour their places in my life.

There's nothing I wouldn't do for my parents. I would die for my parents, to give them a happy ending, to give them the time to be together, but in many ways... I am that happy ending, even if things aren't perfect. It's a fight sometimes to keep secrets exactly that, but we make it work. We have to.

I tell them each and every day that I love them, I hug them and cuddle them and help them out where I can, because they deserve the world.

They are my parents and I am very grateful to and for them. They have made me who I am today and they'll be with me forever, no matter where I go or what I do or who I become. I just hope that they'll continue to walk with me for the rest of my life, because I wouldn't be alive without them... in more ways than one.

[feckin-zicons]

Squids, Dancing, and Dirty thoughts... Not necessarily in that order or all at once.

Apparently people like this? I am more confused than Liam is in this chapter. Which you know, makes sense bc this character only exists in my head, but also doesn’t at all bc I have no idea what goes on in there most of the time. Anyway this is for Zayn, Oxford commas, @stanmedusa who pointed out Zayn was also an Oxford comma stan, @redyellowberry, and their anon to started this mess. Also please imagine Zayn with his current blue hair, but also with his long Aladdin hair bc that’s what I’ve been doing and oh holy gods do I need that to happen. Please. Hair gods make it happen I’m begging

Same warnings as ever its 4AM, this is much longer than planned, and I have no interest in editing, making it sound coherent, or good. No, I don’t know about the squids either.

Parts 1&2 here

Liam would like to point out while he's not a stranger to feeling confused, he's still having trouble pinpointing how exactly he got to be Dance Mistress Irina Alinova's personal bitch. 

Ever since he accidentally interrupted one of the dance practises while looking for a missing prop for Director Corden, more and more of them started disappearing only to show up in the basement. No one else was interested in facing the Dance Mistresses' wrath, but Liam didn't mind the yelling. As long as Mistress Alinova didn't start throwing things, he figured he was safe enough. After all, it gave him the chance to see the blue haired ballerino again.  

Zayn Malik, the god in mortal form, the prima ballerino, the prettiest man Liam had ever seen, who had no idea who Liam even was. 

Liam had it bad. 

Liam had it so bad.

Liam had it so bad he tripped over thin air, spilled hot coffee over himself, and walked into a door when he thought he saw him at a Costas with Louis. The man he saw wasn't Zayn, thank fuck, but the entire sequence of events did give Louis more ammunition to tease him with. Stupid pretty boys with long blue hair and piercings sent from hell just to ruin Liam's life. Yeah, he was a goner. 

Louis dragged out the whole sorry story after Liam texted him about spiking his lunch and laughed himself sick knowing just how much of a mess Liam became around people he was interested in. They still didn't talk about Danielle. Which was a good thing considering the end of that relationship had Liam pretty much swearing off women for the rest of his life. No pussy was worth that mess. Dick though? Liam was willing to take that chance on Zayn, even if asking Harry didn't give him much information. 

According to Harry, Zayn had been around for a few years but mostly kept to himself or the other dancers. There was something about him throwing a fit a few weeks before Liam showed up. Upset about being forced to learn the choreography for Winston's show when it was just going to fail on opening night like it always did. 

Liam thought he had a point, considering. He didn't know what bananas, ballet, and really bad rapping had to do with King James VI but didn't want to voice that in front of the man playing the gay king. No one dared fire Zayn, considering he kept the whole theatre afloat, but it also didn't make many actors happy with him. Especially not Mizz Wendy Williams, who played Marie Antoinette in the play. Again, Liam had a lot of questions he didn't dare ask out loud. It's not like he was ever good at history, so it was entirely possible the two lived in the same time period. Or it was some sort of allegory that went over his head like the aristocrats wearing banana suits did. 

Louis always found his stories about his placement hilarious, but even that one had him wondering if there wasn't some sort of gas leak in their apartment. It wouldn't have been the first time, or the second. Most likely, it was the theatre that was growing some sort of mold that caused insanity if breathed in. Some of the things Liam had been forced to clean in the past few weeks were unspeakable. 

But even that probably couldn't explain Zayn Malik. Nothing could explain that sort of beauty and talent. Or those hands... and thighs... and fingers. Ung. Liam would love to get up close and personal with all of him.  

Either way, Liam had just been cleaning the mirrors in the practice room, humming along to Brandy and Monica on the radio, wondering if Niall was actually going to come down and help him instead of hiding away like a coward. Again. By the second verse, he'd given up trying not to sing along, not expecting anyone to come by. It was late, the dancer's practise long over, and Winston left screaming over an hour ago. Liam would have done a recce and skipped out on the last half hour if one of the managers wasn't sticking around still. Piers Morgan, an absolute cunt who treated the lads on probation like hardened criminals, and he was the prison warden. Despite, you know, most of the lads on summary probation, and Liam’s arson charge being the most serious crime out of all of them. 

Anyway, the last thing he's expecting is for anyone to come in while he's singing about the boy being his, rolling his body to the beat. Which is probably how he ends up tripping over himself when he notices Zayn leaning up against the open door, watching him. Watching him, in bright, tight, teal dance tights (were dance tights usually blue? They should be) that looked nice with his hair and complimented the gold tones of his skin. The skin he could see a lot of. Because he was shirtless. Because he was shirtless and had a lot more tattoos than Liam realized. Tattoos Liam wanted to bite. Not hard enough to make a mark or anything, that would be sacrilegious, but enough to make him make a sound. God, Liam hoped he was a moaner. Not that he thought he had a chance with Zayn or anything, but it would be a shame if Zayn was the type that stayed quiet during sex. 

Except he wasn't being quiet now, he was talking. And Liam was staring at him, like an idiot, not paying attention. Because he was an idiot. 

Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck, why did this always happen to him? 

"Er, what?" Liam asked, desperately hoping he didn't sound as stupid as he felt right then, which was pretty fucking stupid. He probably looked even stupider than he felt and ruined his chances at ever-

"I asked if you were almost done? Was planning on practising more tonight," Zayn answered him. 

Zayn, Zayn Fucking Malik, answered him, and he was still staring at him like an idiot. Shit Liam say something.

"Pretty" 

Not that you idiot.

"What?" Zayn asked, looking confused and adorable.

Oh god, he was precious. Was that a smile? Was he smiling at him? Liam? Oh no.

"Pretty much, I meant. Pretty much done," Liam replied, wishing the ground would swallow him whole. "Just one more mirror, and I'll be out of your way."

There, those were words, sentences even. Now all he had to do was act normal and finish cleaning. Easy. 

"So, Brandy and Monica, right? You like R'n'B then?" Zayn asked him, walking into the room with a heavy dance bag, setting it off to the side.

Liam felt himself flushing as he turned back around to finish cleaning the mirror so Zayn wouldn't see.  "Yeah," he answered, trying not to peek at Zayn bending over as he rifled through his belongings. 

Those legs, Fuck. Liam wondered what it'd feel like to have them around his- 

"I didn't expect that," Zayn said, drawing Liam out of his filthy thoughts, and making him turn back around.

"What?"

"No, I- I didn't mean it in a bad way or anything. I guess I just expected you to listen to more rock?" 

Liam was pretty sure he missed half of the conversation somewhere. Was Zayn blushing? He was so pretty. Wow. 

"No, I like everything," he replied dumbly. They were still talking about music, right? That would make sense. Why was Zayn talking to him again? God, Liam couldn't handle this. "Do you like it? The music, I mean."

"Yeah, grew up listening to ‘em. My older sister was obsessed with Monica. So... Who's your favourite artist?" 

"Artist? Oh uh, I've been listening to a lot of Post Malone? How about you? What do you- who do you listen to?" 

"Post Malone's sick, mate. I like most music I guess, but I've been listening to a lot of The Weekend."

"Have you heard his new album?"

"Yeah, it's sick! Do you-" Zayn was cut off by Niall running in out of breath. The bright orange tee that labelled him as one of the community service workers was wet and stained black. Actually.. all of him was soaked and stained black. Was that ink?

"Hey, Payno, are you done yet because we have a situation upstairs," Niall gasped out, hands on his knees, looking like he'd just seen his life flash before his eyes. 

"What the hell happened to you?" 

"There's a squid stick in the toilet." 

"There's a what?"

"A Squid! A giant fucking squid in the toilet!" 

Liam blinked in confusion, trying to wrap his head around why there would be a squid anywhere near the theatre let alone one of the toilets. Did Corden want live animals in his show now? Or Winston. It could be either of them. 

"Why do you need me?" he asked. "I don't know anything about squids."

Niall sounded like he was at the end of his rope when he replied, "You know something about plumbing at least!" 

"Not a lot! Enough to keep the water on at home, but I'm not a plumber." 

"Doesn't matter, we need your help, Ashtons gone to find some butter," Niall said, stomping back around, leaving behind a trail of watery black ink. "We'll meet you upstairs when you're done."

"Wait, what do you need butter for?!" Liam called after him but didn't get a reply. Butter? How was butter going to help?

A muffled giggle distracted Liam from his thoughts, and he was abruptly reminded Zayn was still in the room. Zayn, might as well be a god, was in the room, and Liam was just talking about squids in toilets.

Why him?

"I guess I should go see what they need help with?" Liam tried to say without sounding... Well, he wasn't sure what the proper response was in this situation or how to react to it. 

Zayn smiled at him, and oh. How was it possible he looked even more attractive now? 

Liam thinks Zayn said something about the other lads needing him and it sounding urgent, but really, Liam was in a daze until he also got a face full of ink... From another squid in an entirely different toilet. 

What the fuck.

Louis was never going to let him live this down. 

Really? Squids???

[callioope]

I’ve been vague about what has been going on in my life intentionally, both because I needed to tell some people offline first and because it’s a lot to process. 

But here is what happened: I am in the process of miscarrying.

I thought it might help to share my story. Miscarriage is more common than people realize and rarely talked about. If someone can benefit from my story, all the better, but mostly this is to help my grieving and coping process.

This is pretty detailed, so trigger warnings and all that.

Exactly one month ago, I read the results I had longed for: pregnant.

Today, I’m sprawled out on the couch in the most excruciating pain I’ve ever experienced. 

They don’t tell you that miscarriage is a process.

We’ve been trying to conceive since the end of last June. It was taking so long, I was convinced I’d be scheduling a fertility consultation this coming June. They tell you if you’re under 35, to give it a year. Before we started trying to conceive, I’d tell anyone about how time speeds up the older you get. It makes sense logically, of course, when a year is 1/5 of your life, it sure seems long, but went its 1/32, well... 

But this has been the longest eleven months of my life. The first month we started trying, I had an unusually long cycle. 39 days. I was so sure I was pregnant. My breasts had been hurting for two weeks. Husband and I were vacationing in Minnesota to see Aston Villa play. I bought a pregnancy test, beaming, excited, and was puzzled by the negative result. A week later, when my period came, I cried to my mother, and she said something about the universe saying I wasn’t ready or something. Whatever it was sounded bleak and ominous to my ears. It sounded like it meant I’d never be ready. 

The fall was busy and stressful, and despite all the tedious ovulation test strips, nothing happened except somehow, my period got lighter month by month. I was pretty sure something was wrong with me. I thought I had a UTI. (I was actually stressed and dehydrated, which I eventually remedied.) While I cried at a Sara Bareilles concert in November, my mother told me that her OBGYN said it can take as much at 9 months for the body to recalibrate after being on the pill.

Speaking of which. I’ve been taking the pill for over a decade. For the most part, I took it correctly. There is some leeway to taking it incorrectly, for the record. You can miss two pills in a row and it still has instructions for what to do (while cautioning to be safe and use extra protection). Maybe only once did I ever have to throw out a pack for missing too many in a row. 

(This is maybe neither here nor there, but rebelcaptain accidental pregnancy fics have become a bit of a pet peeve for me. Jyn and Cassian are far too careful and intentional to let that happen, and it is so easy to be responsible since there are so many birth control alternatives these days that don’t even require reliance on routine or memory.)

So, of course, the concern lately is that clearly 10+  years on birth control has messed me up. I do not know this objectively (what I do know is that I have OCD and anxiety and obsess over Everything That Can Go Wrong), but the point is that birth control really can have consequences that I don’t think are necessarily fully understood or studied. DO NOT GET ME WRONG, USE BIRTH CONTROL. My only regret is what I didn’t know.

I learned too late, but a lot of conception advice articles tell you to quit the BC as soon as possible. Even if my mom’s OBGYN is wrong, the general advice does seem to be that it can take up to 3 months for your body to recalibrate. So, if by any chance someone reading this is thinking about conceiving soon, if you take nothing else away from this rant, take this. I wish I had stopped taking the pill a few months before we actually intended to start trying.

After ten months of all this worrying, I finally got what I’d longed for. The moment I saw that positive result, it felt so surreal. There had been little things leading up to that moment, strange hints and signs, like I knew subconsciously even before a test would have been positive. I wrote that Howl’s Moving Castle pregnancy fic before I knew. I started learning “Here Comes the Sun” on my ukulele before I knew (it’s... silly, but I decided I wanted to learn the ukulele because I wanted to be able to play that song for my kids some day). It involves finger picking, so I’d been putting off learning it, but one day I just decided it was time. And finally, I decided to watch the latest season of Brooklyn 99. I’d avoided it because I knew Amy & Jake were also trying to conceive, and it was too emotional for me to watch that when I was so frustrated for how long I was taking. (Of course I didn’t realize they also had trouble, and watching it actually felt cathartic for me.) I got that positive result literally the next morning. 

I spent Monday, April 20, making checklists and spreadsheets. I set my first prenatal appointment for May 8. Those two and a half weeks were the slowest of my life. They stretched out like a rubber band. I couldn’t really focus on anything except this pregnancy I’d waited so long for. That’s probably why time moved so slowly. I wasn’t filling it with the hobbies I enjoyed, writing and playing my ukulele. All my overwhelmed brain could handle was the hilarious distraction of Community. Yeah, this is also around the time I disappeared from fandom. It was originally for a happy reason, I was just too excited to focus!

I know many women who have miscarried. The data seems to vary from source to source, but anywhere between 10% to 20% of pregnancies end in miscarriage. I couldn’t wait to get to the doctor to confirm everything was okay. I wondered if they would do an ultrasound; I dreamed of seeing a fetus on that screen.

We started talking about how we were going to tell our family. We wrote a pretend promotion letter for my sister, promoting her from “sister” to “aunt” (she’s a badass at her job and we had recently been talking about her promotions so it was thematically relevant). We planned to do a video call with my parents where we played Quiplash and created custom answers related to the pregnancy. 

But we never got that chance. On May 8, I went in for my first appointment. I’d spent the last three days sewing a mask because the ones we ordered still haven’t arrived yet. So all the time I would have spent preparing myself for the worst (as is my way) was spent instead distracted by sewing and finishing up Community. 

They took me to an office first and went over medical history questions. “Any morning sickness?” the nurse asked. “Not at all,” I said. “Should I be worried?” “No,” she answered. “Consider yourself lucky!” 

(For the record, many women who carry to term do not ever get morning sickness.)

(It was just one of those unfortunate exchanges.)

Then the exam with the doctor. All in all, it’d probably been 30 or 40 minutes by this point, all of this excited talk. I was going to tell my parents on Mother’s Day. My due date was Christmas.

I video call my husband just in time for the ultrasound. 

There was no embryo. 

The doctor said a lot of women are ovulating later in their cycles due to the stress of the pandemic. At the time, I thought maybe. Hope is funny like that, in the face of logic. It started to grow like a weed in the cracks of my breaking heart. 

But the thing is, even with that stubborn hopeweed, I knew. I’d been doing this for ten months. I knew when my last period was, I knew when I ovulated. I was 7 weeks and 1 day, and there was no embryo, and that was it.

The beginning of the process of miscarriage. 

Technically, it’d started a few days before that appointment, but I was distracted at that time. I’d noticed one morning that there seemed to be more hair in the shower floor than there should be. 

Dots started to connect. My breasts had stopped aching. Now, they started to shrink back to their original size. 

This happened over several days. I felt certain I would miscarry on Mother’s Day; fortunately, that did not happen. No, enough days had to pass for that hopeweed to prosper. Only then, when it whispered maybe would I start spotting and cramping. 

On Tuesday, the second ultrasound confirmed what I already knew. Not viable. Missed miscarriage. Technically, the prescription the doctor hands me reads “missed abortion.” “It’s just the technical term,” the doctor explains, acknowledging that many women might find this triggering. 

I don’t cry as much as I did. I only cry when I tell people. It seems important for people to know, just in case. Just one person in the relevant circles of my life. I had to tell my boss to explain the sudden uptick in unexpected doctor appointments. (I’m Rh negative, so I needed to go to the hospital to get bloodwork and a Rhogam shot -- and being in a hospital these days in anxiety-inducing enough without this trauma.)

It still feels surreal. All of this happened in one month. Somehow my life has changed completely and then reverted back. This is just a blip in my life, relatively, and yet it seems the longest month of my life.

In movies, in stories, miscarriage seems to go the same way: a flash of bloody sheets, a shout of shock and pain, and then grief. I never knew how it really goes: that it would stretch out for weeks, from the moment I saw that first ultrasound to now, twelve days later, just starting to bleed. I’ll have to go back for another ultrasound to confirm it’s done, and if it’s not, then I’ll need surgery. 

This speaks nothing of the grief. 

And then it’s back to square one, a whole year later: ovulation tests and endless waiting. 

It’s been a whole month; it’s been only a month, and miscarriage is a process. 

[marvxlousqueen]

Warren Worthington- Impress You

word count: almost 2k? I think idk

warnings: total fluff, some curse words, awkward warren, a lowkey shitty ending bc I didn't know how to end it and I got wifi for a sec so I rushed it a lil:/

so a while ago i read a warren fic where his wings would puff up around the reader bc his bird instinct was trying to impress her and i really loved it but i can’t find it so i’m writing this one :)) + this is post apocalypse where warren is a student but doesn’t have his metal wings or face tattoos so just bear with me here boys-- also the reader has a healing mutation :))

Warren had decided to skip third period, too embarrassed to face (Y/n) again that day. He had first seen her on his way to the cafeteria to pick up breakfast. She had a tray in her hands, full of different breakfast food, and she had come up to talk to Warren (as friends do). “Hey Warren! Want half of this croissant? I’m not that hungry.” Once her voice met his ears, his wings decided to stretch out and puff up, successfully knocking her tray out of her hands, spilling her tea and making her croissant hit the floor. Warren had only been able to stumble an apology before rushing out of the cafeteria, instead heading to first period where he could hopefully hide his embarrassment. 

Lately his wings had decided that they had a mind of their own. Whenever (Y/n) was present they would expand to their full length (almost 10 fucking feet) and often ended up hitting people. (Y/n) was in his third period and he just couldn’t handle making a fool of himself in front of her twice in one morning. Warren was already 90% sure that (Y/n) didn’t like him and he really didn’t want to give her another reason to not like him (he was pretty sure that getting hit by his wings would do the trick). 

After being dismissed from second period, Warren quickly moved down the hallway, heading towards the boys dorm hallway. He had his head down, making sure no one would recognize that he was heading to his room instead of third period. As he turned a corner, about to cross into the boy’s dorm hallway, he felt his body collide with another. “Ouch- oh! Hey Warren, you kinda sped off fast during breakfast. I was looking for you actually- wanted to give you this.” (Y/n) moved closer to him, offering him half a croissant like she had tried to do earlier. 

“O-oh hi-sorry, (y/n)-” As soon as her name left his mouth his wings were back at it. They stretched out and all his feathers puffed up like they were trying to make themselves bigger. He, thankfully, didn’t hit her this time, but did manage to smack Peter right in the face as he was running by. “Jesus, Big Bird, watch it!” He then sped back off, not making a big deal out of it, but Warren still turned red. 

“Are you okay? Seems like you’re having muscle spasms or something.. I could take a look. I’m finally starting to get my healing stuff under control so maybe I could help.” Of course she wants to help (she’s so nice to me, why is she so nice to me?), but god she’s just making it worse, he thought. Warren just shook his head, unable to form a sentence. “Well.. okay, but here, you should eat.” She offered him the croissant half, which he took with an unsteady hand. 

After a moment of Warren not saying anything, just looking at his shoes, (Y/n) decided to try and start a conversation again. “Do you want to walk to 3rd together?” Warren looked up at her this time and saw that she was offering him a gentle smile. This made Warren blush harder. God Warren, please pull yourself together! 

He decided to walk past her without saying anything, hoping that would take away his awkwardness. She turned around to watch him walk towards his room. “O-okay then. Bye Warren, I’ll see you later... I guess.” Great, Warren, now she hates you even more. You are just a genius, aren’t you? He felt ashamed for how he handled that awkward situation, but what was he supposed to do? Talk to her? I can’t talk to her, he thought. She doesn’t want to talk to me.

(Y/n) felt her throat tighten from the awkwardness of that interaction. Is it because I kept offering him a croissant? He doesn’t want a croissant! Why was I so hell bent on giving him a croissant? Or was it because I offered to help him? He probably doesn’t want my help- I mean I can barely control my mutation-oh god. (Y/n)’s mind continued to spiral with thoughts about Warren until she sat down at her desk for third period. She had taken a liking to Warren almost as soon as she had met him. After the whole apocalypse incident, Professor Xavier had allowed him to enroll in the school, hoping to save him from joining bad forces again. (Y/n) had been assigned to help him heal and regrow his original wings. Even though she wasn’t the best healer at the time (and still wasn’t the best now), she did help with gathering supplies, checking his vitals, and keeping him calm. 

His metal wings had been badly damaged from his fall during the battle. She had kept him calm while others worked to remove the damaged metal, freeing up his back to regrow his feathered wings. It had taken a few weeks for them to get back to their fully grown state and (Y/n) couldn’t get over how gorgeous they were. She found herself on multiple occasions ruffling his feathers when she was supposed to be assisting others in the infirmary. Warren would never admit it, but he loved the feeling of her hands touching him in a gentle manner like she did. He hadn’t been treated with such care and gentleness in a long time.

During the time they spent together, Warren began to feel things towards her as well. They rarely spoke while he was in the infirmary, but the soft touches and warm smiles was all it took for Warren to fall head over heels for her. After his wings were done growing, they didn’t see each other at all until they were put in the same biology class this semester, in which (Y/n) had decided to step up her game and try to speak to him everyday, hoping to get closer to him. Warren admired this about her and he would’ve loved to get closer as well, but his mouth never cooperated. He was always tripping over his words or getting tongue tied, and now with the wings thing it was so much worse. 

After fourth period, (Y/n) made her way to the cafeteria, hoping to see Warren and spark up a conversation since she wasn’t able to do so in biology. She hoped it would go better than her attempt in the hallway that morning. (Y/n) saw Warren sitting with Ororo and Kurt. Since they were all newer to the school they became quite close with each other. (Y/n) was honestly quite jealous of the two, it seemed like Warren could have an actual conversation with them, but for some reason (Y/n) was just too awkward to talk to. Or at least- that’s what she thought.

“You smacked her tray out of her hands?” Ororo was confused at the image of this. “I know that some guys think that teasing is a good way of flirting, which I suppose it can be, but that’s too far.” Warren just rolled his eyes, “I didn’t mean too, okay? It just happened- it’s actually been happening a lot lately and I’m not sure why. My wings accidently smacked Peter in the face too.” 

Kurt was surprised by this, “Why would you smack Peter? Peter is nice.” Kurt’s half full mouth and strong accent made him difficult to understand, especially in the noise of the cafeteria, so Warren just shrugged, hoping that would end the conversation. Warren continued eating his food (shitty cafeteria pizza) until he heard a chair at their table pull out. He looked up, meeting (Y/n)’s eyes for a moment before quickly going back down to his food. Before he knew what was happening he felt his wings stretch out, hitting Ororo who was seated next to him. “What- what are you doing?” She asked while struggling to move his feathers out of her face. “I don’t- I um-” Warren had no clue what to say so he immediately stood up and headed outside towards the pond, where hopefully he wouldn’t hit anyone anymore or embarrass himself. Once he sat down his wings finally closed up. 

“Why do you guys keep doing this to me, huh? Do you just want me to suffer?” He heard leaves crunching behind him and quiet laughter, making him turning his head. “Are you talking to your wings?” (Y/n) took a seat next to him, still laughing after seeing him scolding his wings. “Yea, well, I-um. Yea, they just- poof up-and i-i uh, yea.” He felt his face heat up again for at least the third time that day. Why the hell do you keep blushing, Warren?- just calm down, god. 

She just nodded. “Hm yeah. How long have they been doing that?” He shrugged at her question before responding (or at least attempting too). “Just-uh- p-past few days.” She nodded again, moving to sit behind him. “Let me see if I can find something causing it.” 

As soon as she placed her hands on his back his wings puffed up again and stretched out. “Woah! I don’t feel anything though.” Warren felt his face burn even hotter, he had never felt so embarrassed and it was even worse that is was happening in front of her. I’ve already made a fool of himself like four times today, she must think I’m just- weird, oh god. 

Warren decided he needed to go to run from his embarrassment (again), so he jumped up and did a low fly to the main building, heading towards his room. (Y/n) once again wasn’t sure where things went wrong. Is it because I touched him? Or does he just not like me at all?

That was the last she saw of Warren for the rest of the week. He continued to skip 3rd period to avoid her and he decided to eat all meals in the privacy of his room. 

By Friday afternoon, (Y/n) was sick of not seeing him. She started to actually get worried that his muscle spasms might be causing more damage than he thinks. At lunch on Friday, (Y/n) went up to Ororo’s table, hoping to find some answers to why Warren was avoiding her and what was wrong with him.

“Hey, Ororo- can I sit and talk for a minute?” Ororo only nodded her response, hands and mouth full of a cafeteria grilled cheese. “So-um, I know you are Warren are close and I was just wondering why...” (Y/n) looked down at the table, suddenly feeling shy. Why am I bothering her with this? I sound so desperate, oh my god. 

“He’s only had that problem with you as far as I know.” (Y/n) looked up at her, “Which problem?” 

“The wing thing. Whenever you come up or talk to him it happens, not sure why though. He’s just trying to save himself from some embarrassment by avoiding you.”

“Oh-” (Y/n) stood up after processing her words. “Thanks, I’ll-uh, I’ll see you around, Ororo, thanks.”

Warren was sitting on his cold bed, eating a grilled cheese, when he heard a knock at his door. He stood up and opened it, thinking it would be Ororo or Kurt, who had both been helping him sneak off to eat in his room. “H-hey, Warren.”

His eyes met hers and his wings puffed up again. “H-hi.” He tried to close them up, but they stayed open, not obeying him. “I-um, I just wanted to talk to you about why you’ve been avoiding me.” Warren’s red face burned even harder at this statement. “I-I haven’t.. I’m not-” 

“Warren.” She cut off his rambling. “I think I know what’s happening to you.” She gestured at his open wings. He nodded for her to continue, his eyes on the floor. "In Biology today, which I guess you weren't there.. but anyways, we learned about sexual selection." (Y/n) felt her face burn at the thought of sexual things with Warren. Warren face heated up too, trying not to think where this was going, he was pretty sure he knew. "It's like- um, like peacocks.. the males have colorful feathers and they show them off to impress females..." As she said it, (Y/n) started to get worried that she had the wrong idea of what was happening, but it was too late to take it back so she just kept going. "Maybe you were trying to... impress me? But you just didn't know it.."

Warren was silent, not sure what to say. I think she's right, oh God this is so much worse than I could've imagined oh boy. "Nevermind, you know it's- it's stupid, sorry." As (Y/n) turned to leave his doorway, Warren surprised himself, reaching out to grab her arm, pulling her towards him. He placed a gentle kiss on her lips, then pulling away before looking down again. "I-uhm. I think you're right.." He looked up into her eyes, she was as red as he was, giving him a sweet smile. "That's- that's great, yeah." She nodded, still in shock from his soft lips touching hers. "I'm glad that I'm right, that's good.." He nodded before placing his lips back on hers, arms wrapping around her waist while hers traveled to his golden hair.

[icharchivist]

The organization around this quarantine thing is such a disaster tbh. 

About two weeks ago, two of our teachers were the ones who were especially worried. 

There was the first case of covid19 in the nearby high school, and our uni, being a linguistic one in a region nearby the Italian border, has a lot of connection with centric pandemic regions in Italy, before they even shut down themselves.

Two of our teachers were concerned bc, as we just came home from holidays, a lot of people connected to the Italian branch came back to the uni as well, and nothing was really done about it. 

One of my teacher was especially mad bc there was no soap in the bathrooms of the uni for a week at that time. She told us then that she will no longer note our presences for classes (mandatory esp for those with scholarships), and encouraged us if we were scared, knew we would be weak to the virus (asthma and such), or if we knew people who were, to not go to school anymore. Told us specifically to take pictures of the soapless bathroom so if the administration bothered us, we’d send them picture going “you’re endangering us”

I’m asthmatic. I have a lot of breathing problems in general, due to a nose malformation that makes it hard to breath and flow normally. and i have allergies. Hell my seasonal illness involves coughing, headaches, nothing flowing from the nose, and lung pains, feeling tired, all those stuff. I can’t even bring up how paranoid i am. Latest cycle of said sickness kicked in with a fever which worried my mom and I had to go see a doctor in urgence a couple of days ago. I’m fine. But i feel extremely paranoid. (and it’s not like France is getting us tested wth bloodtest or something - hospitals are overbooked with the pandemy so they only take in people with very urgent symptoms. Even if you get the virus unless you’re going very bad you’re encouraged to stay at home. There’s probably a lot of cases that we don’t know of because of that.)

But anyway school still didn’t stop back then, two weeks ago. We had two teachers who took the time to sit us down and discuss it with us. How the uni was not prepared to handle it. How they both thought the uni should have closed by now, that they’re discussing it, but they don’t want to yet. 

For two weeks all we got as info was that everything was fine. Only need to clean your hands and cough in your arms. But we also had massive announcement just 5 days ago about how it was not even thought of to close schools. To close places with high work going. That we can’t let it stop us and all.

Last Wednesday, there were still clear announcement that there will be no stopping schools or work or anything. Last Friday, we were issued with a message announcing the massive closing of every schools and we were encouraged to stay at home.

Our uni, is, of course, not prepared for it. We got a few homeworks or class by mails with clear messages from our teachers telling us they’re not prepared and we will need to improvise - us students involved. Our exams, that were to happen in April, will be pushed back to May or June. For now.

On Saturday, they encouraged us to still go vote for the Mayor Elections on Sunday. Obviously, more than half of the population didn’t show up. But we were encouraged to do it still.

On Saturday, we were told to no longer go in groups in places. Something that is obvious of course, but a couple of days ago was not even issued. People stayed up late, disregarded the announcement. In the same breath we were told to not go out anywhere with many people, but to go out to do the election on Sunday still.

Mid Sunday, i get a mail from my uni residence saying that people living in those are encouraged to leave their room, whenever definitly or temporary to return to their family during the shut down of the schools.

I didn’t want to, considering my relationships with my family, but this was getting scary. We were still /encouraged/ but not obligated yet. 

I had seen my mom on the Saturday for the doctor so we discussed the possibility, and while not obligated yet, i was a bit scared. I ended up askign my mom to come pick me up. I couldn’t move out *everything* obviously, but i took already 7 bags with me. My mom originally wanted to help me move out on Monday, but the announce scared me enough i wanted to get it done then immediatly.

Sunday evening, they announce they’re going to restrict moving around. Every shops would close. My mom works in administration soe she had to go work monday still. 

Monday my mom’s employer basically tells her to take “holidays” so she doesn’t have to pay her, all while planning to pass all the mails and phonecalls to the agency to my mom’s phone. She’s sent home on Monday.

Monday evening we got the announcement from the gov that we were in complete lockdown. No longer allowed out without a permit. Only allowed to be out for reasons like grocery shopping, going to the pharmacy or doctor, or if you have jobs that are obligated for the good functionment of the country and crisis. (although they did issue you’re allowed to take your dog out but not for long)

We have to go on the gov’s website to ask for a permit. Like Italy i’ve heard. 

We also have a curfew, no longer allowed out until a certain hour.

So now, today, Tuesday, the whole thing is in place. I’ve heard policemen in my street earlier today ask for people’s permit for being out. 

And my uni residence just sent us a mail saying they no longer even tolerate people being inside the residence for the quarantine. We are obligated to move out ASAP, to a family member or such, or leave definitly.  Today, while the gov has issued you can no longer be out without a permit you printed - while, also, we don’t have printers in our residences. 

I feel glad i followed my gut feeling on Sunday to move out bc i have no idea how i could have asked help to move out today with those measures in place.

What i’m trying to get accross is how quickly those measures were taken in the past few days while it’s been a few weeks we’ve been many to worry enough to think dispositions should have been taken earlier. We’ve been thinking about it for weeks at the uni, but suddenly in less than 5 days we went from “we’re not changing a thing” to “quarantine yourself at your parents’s”.

Not to mention our President doing lots of lectures about how we’re At War, A Health War Sure, But At War And We Have To Consider It As Such. Obviously extremely reassuring to hear while you hear about the amount of death and sickness on TV.

Not like the sickness is any better either. I have a friend who’s a nurse in a part of France that is badly affected. Cases with young people starts to degenerate very quickly, even if they had no prior reasons for it to happen. 

We discovered ibuprophen worsen the virus and it brought people who would have no prior situation into critical states to be taken care of.

/young people with no prior situations/, which i think is important to mention since so many people are brushing off the virus in a “it only affect the elderly or people with weak immune system”, as if this wasn’t reason enough to worry, as if we don’t all know multiple people like that around us, as if the 14days incubation period wasn’t terrifying, as if even if we get minor symptoms we don’t get to spread around a sickness that can be deadly for people with a weaker immune system. Well, if it’s so bad to understand the issue yet, i guess thus “young people with no prior situation get into critical situation” should be a wake up call. We don’t know that virus. It’s frightening. 

People get recontaminated too. Which means we don’t get an immunity from healing. We can catch it again. Who knows how that may even go.

My friend, the nurse, says people keep stealing their equipment. They’re shortstaffed, short in materials, they can barely handle the crisis, not helped by the fact it’s been years that the gov keeps cutting health center’s ressources down. We’re not prepared for  a pandemic that way.

Like... I read everyone talk about the panic buyer making it much more of a problem than it is. And while it’s true, it’s overshadowing that this is a Bad Situation, that we know nothing of that virus and it’s scary, and that the gov’s quarantine had been rushed into so much no one knows how to organize themselves around it. 

For now it’s planned for 15 days. god knows how long it will take.

I, asthmatic currently sick with issues breathing, am stuck back with my mom who smokes all the time at home. Both quarantined. I feel lowkey cursed tbh. For years i tried to escape my family, dealing with all the issues that goes with it, and when i finally manage to do so, i get two lawsuits up my ass bc my dad is a douche and then my residence closes up bc of a massive sickness forcing me to go back to my mom’s. 

I don’t know how to focus on my classes bc the organization is chaotic. I’m scared hearing the news. I have trouble breathing all day and while i know it’s nothing, i remain anxious. I don’t know how long i’m gonna stand my mom. Internet gets slower bc of the influx of people locked home to work. 

i don’t care much for being quarantined itself, i can spend days in my home without problems. I don’t like being stuck with my mom and i just don’t like how we’ve been pushed into it in a complete lack of preparation for it. 

I miss my home. 

And it’s just France. Italy and Spain have been in those situations for a while too. 

In a way that makes me even more angry that they didn’t take precaution before while the Italian gov had been warning us for weeks to be careful and take stuff into account before it’s too late. And we still waited, and we still rushed, and now we will blame everyone who is not understanding how thhe gov went from “it’s only a little flu don’t worry, keep going with your life just wash your hands” to “how irresponsable are you not to be in quarantine” in two days. You wonder then why people are panic buying, it’s not like the gov did any work to be crystal clear about the situation. You wonder people are being careless, a couple of days ago they were still told they had no reason to worry and to look down on those who panics.

EDIT: and lmao, i have been saying those stuff for weeks, for about two weeks i say it should have been taken into account, and my mom was pro-keeping-the-mayor-election-going (bc she wuld perhaps get a job out of it) and i told her then i thought it was a very bad idea to keep them going. My mom tried to convince me about how noooo, it was fiiine, we had to have those municipals anyway, “if people can go grocery shopping they can go vote” as our prime minister said, which i found horrifying (buying good is vital, electing a mayor can wait). And my mom kept insisting that it was important. And now, everyone says it was a bad idea to carry them on. Our own election house didn’t take any health precaution. Even my mom is saying “it was a bad idea.” Call me Cassandra bc i Keep Telling Them This Is Gonna Happen and no one ever listen to me and Too Bad. Ffs.

This is a mess of a situation. It’s making me extra anxious. 

But well that’s how it is now I guess. Sighs.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #254

“i hate that it seems you were never enough; we were broken and bleeding, but never gave up.”

What’s the best gift you’ve ever gotten? My late dog Teddy. Well technically, it was a container of puppy chow behind the tree, but in essence, him. Has there ever been a person you regret ever being friends with? I don't think so? Do you think you have a good understanding of love? Yes. What do you want to do on your honeymoon? Relax and enjoy quality time w/ my spouse somewhere great. Do you think Medical Marijuana should be legalized? Yes. If you were forced to dye your hair another color, what color would you get? At this current time, silver. What do you think of your parent(s)? I love them, a lot. Who do you talk to on the phone most often? Actually talk, Mom. But I text Sara more. What’s a song that makes you feel happy? Uhhh "</code>" by MIW came to me first. What celebrity would you like to meet? M-M-M-mARk What is your favorite clothing store? I can't really say. I like Hot Topic's content most, but they're really not all that broad in size range, so it seems unfair to say them. What’s a good idea you’ve had recently? Hell if I know, I don't make those. Do you like to wear high heels? No. What are you most excited about right now? Nothing. Would you like to live in a different country? If so which one? Honestly, if it didn't mean leaving Mom behind, I'd go to Canada by now. Recent events have me fucking livid with America's healthcare system. What’s your favorite song from a movie? Like, it was made for the movie? Man, I dunno. Probably something off Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron, though. The soundtrack is magical. Where would you like to volunteer? Realistically, I don't know. A zoo would be incredible, but I handle heat incredibly poorly and also canfuckingnot pick up feces or touch vomit. So, that takes a big chunk out of what volunteers can do there. What’s the last song you listened to? "Another Life" by MIW is on repeat right now and I need to turn it the fuck off because I'm in a bad PTSD episode. Do you like being alone? Sometimes, yes, but not for too long. How do you find new music? YouTube recommendations, usually. What’s your favorite city? I don't have a favorite. I've only ever once been to an even remotely impressive one: Chicago. What’s the last YouTube video you watched? Some tarantula one. I'm fucking addicted to tarantulas now and need a Mexican red knee like now. Once we (hopefully) move, I'm gonna at least try talking Mom into it. Where are you going on your next trip? I don't know. If you had to make a six-hour cross-country journey, would you rather take the train, fly or drive? How come? Fly, if I had the window seat. It's relaxing. How long do your earphones tend to last before the connection goes and you have to replace them? Considering I'm like, constantly using them, Mom says they die fast, judging by how frequently I let her know I need a new pair. She got me a big box of them for Christmas, even. I've got one extra pair left. If you could dye your hair any color in the world, assuming it would look perfect with your coloring, what would you pick and why? Pastel pink bc aesthetic. Are you a fan of musicals? If you are, what ones have you seen live and which ones would you like to see? No. Have you ever had to give up something you were addicted to? Did you actually succeed? Yes. Have you ever had to work (or study) with someone that you really didn’t get along with? How did you deal with it (ignoring them, being nice, etc.)? Maybe at some point, idk. Have you ever had any problems with your wisdom teeth, or have they been taken out already? No. Which one of your senses would you miss the most if you lost it? Hearing, probably. That'd feel so lonely. Do you find your mood changes when you’re hungry or tired? Does eating or sleeping automatically cure you of a bad mood? I can definitely become irritable if I'm extremely hungry and/or tired. Sleeping helps me with a lot of problems, lmao. What’s the stupidest fight you’ve ever gotten into? Did you make up with that person or did you end up losing them over it? Oh idk. Probably something RP-related as a kid. Have you ever gotten really bad travel sickness? Has this put you off travelling or going by certain modes of transport in case it happens again? No, thankfully. What’s your opinion on prostitution? Should it be legal and regulated, or is it something that needs to be gotten rid of completely? I don't support it. Just leaving it at that. If it was a case of prostitution or being evicted from your home, which option would you pick (assuming you’d tried everything else to make money first)? Evict me. Morally, prostituting would kill me. I have family who thankfully I know would let me stay with them. Are you into piercings and tattoos? If not, do you judge people who are, and vice versa? Hell yeah, so I obviously don't judge people who are. What’s your opinion on places like Seaworld? Do you think keeping whales and dolphins in such small enclosures is cruel or a necessary evil? First: I'm not very educated on how similar *all* Seaworlds are. But in regards to keeping whales, it's inhumane as all fuck. They are WAY too big to be held in such a small space for our goddamn amusement. I support zoos who do what they do for conservation and educational purposes, but from my memory of Seaworld, that's not their primary concern. Who is one person that you no longer hang out with? Why did that association end? My former best friend. There's a novel on why I don't associate with her anymore, but the top reason would be she's just a drama magnet that does no wrong. Wonders why her life is so insane and tumultuous while never looking into herself as the potential reason. What was the last item you put into your pants pocket? I don't really wear pants with pockets, but I'm sure in the last case, it woulda been my phone or money. Who was the last person to endanger your life, whether it was accidentally or intentionally? Well I'm certain it was accidental, but idk what the most recent situation would be. What was the last thing you started over on? Job searching, I guess. What was the last task that you completed? Does eating breakfast count? Esp. when you really didn't want it but needed it? Have you ever failed at something extremely important to you? If yes, what? Ah, what a timely question. I dropped out of school for the third fucking time a few days back. When was the last time that you wanted time to move faster? Last night in my regular routine of waking up in the middle of the night twice/thrice. I sleep so poorly that I just want the morning to come at some point so it's "normal" for me to be up. ^Slower? Hm. I dunno. I don't have much reason to want time to slow lately. When was the last time you felt impatient with someone? Currently w/ Mom, but it's at a low level and probably isn't fair feeling impatient in the first place. Who was the last person that you called a “bitch”? I don't know. Probably playfully, anyway. ^Who, if anyone, was the last person to address you by that term? I also don't know. When was the last time you questioned whether or not you were making the right decision? Every time I make one lmao. Has a boy-/girlfriend ever suggested that you might want to lose some weight, or that it might make you look better? lol wow no. What is your idea of “too big” when it comes to weight? Once it comes to a point of infringing on your ability to function normally. ^How about “too thin”? Same as ^, really, it just goes in the opposite direction. Have you ever experienced an overly clinging boy-/girlfriend? Yeah, we lasted two weeks lmao. What is the most annoying thing your family members do on a daily basis, if anything? I only live with Mom, and she doesn't regularly do annoying stuff. With which family member do you get along with the least? The best? Least, my grandma. We've gotten kinda better though now that she's dying. Best, Mom. ^Why do you think that you don’t get along well with that family member? We have very, very averse beliefs and standards. Who is someone that you wish would be there for you more often? My sisters, honestly. Shit's going on with them, I always reach out to let them know I'm here. Something's wrong with me, I never hear a word. Have you ever felt like someone abandoned you? If yes, explain? BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITCH- How often do you find that you are bored? Daily, nearly at all times. This is gonna sound pathetic, but I tend to be so bored so regularly that I experience passively suicidal thoughts now and again because I just feel being dead would almost be more exciting. That's something I'll never act on, but yeah. I have mega bad anhedonia. What activity has the best chance of holding your attention for a long period of time? Hm. Playing a game, maybe. Or if I'm watching a really good video on YT. Have you ever decided that you like/dislike someone based on their survey answers? Yup. What previews did you see at the last movie you saw in theaters? Hell if I remember. How many things are you a fan of on Facebook? Wow, a fucking lot. Back in the day I would "like" lots of those pages that just had funny/relatable names, and man does it pay off (usually) now. I Got The Memes. Do you have more friends on Myspace or Facebook? Probably Facebook? I don't really remember the friending process on MySpace besides the "top 8" thing that destroyed friendships, lmao. Have you ever been to a movie that sold out? Maybe? Idk. Have you ever been to a midnight movie? One. What’s your state’s weather usually like this time of year? Too fucking hot. Do you get those leg cramps in the middle of the night? No. What movie last made you too scared to go to sleep? *shrug* Is your cell phone a qwerty (full keyboard) or no? Yeah. What was the last website you logged onto (besides the one you’re on)? PetSmart to apply for a position as pet trainer. I hate chain pet stores, but whatever, I'm desperate. What’s your home page? Google. Do you have split ends? No. When you’re on a laptop, do you hook up a mouse or use the touchpad? I prefer to have a mouse. If you’re learning a language, what year are you in? I'm not anymore. Do you think you’re done growing or will you grow a couple more inches? I'm sure I'm done. What’s your mom’s mom’s name? Cecelia. Have you ever encountered a creepy neighbor? OKAY at my old place where I used to ride my bike all the time, there was this old man way down the road that liked to talk to me but he creeped me out so much that I started turning back before I got in sight of his place. Do you like the foam soap or the liquidy soap? Foam. Do you tend to lean towards bright colors or more subtle colors? Bright. Do you use British spelling even though you’re not British? No; I even change it in surveys a lot, lol. When was the last time you attended a barbecue? I don't have a clue. I don't like them. Can you handle movies involving lots of bugs and insects? Yeah. Are you borrowing books from anybody at the moment? No. What is one similarity between your parents? Christ... they seem incomparable by this point. Do you keep scissors in your kitchen? If so, where? Yes, in the drawer beside the fridge. When was the last time you used a payphone and who were you calling? I've never used one. Have you met everyone who lives on your street? No. Do you have a boyfriend? No. When did you last write out your name? Recently for something at school. Do you like being kissed on the neck? Yeah. What friend can you tell everything to? Sara. Would you be shocked if the last person you had feelings for texted you? No. What if you had a baby with the last person you texted? We're both cis females so physically can't. And neither of us want kids. Who knows your biggest secrets? Mom, Sara, Jason. Do you have any hickeys on you? No. Is there anyone you wish you could fix things with? Yeah. Who is someone that puts up with you no matter what? My mom. When was the last time you cried? Two days ago I sobbed for a good while. Can you honestly say you’re okay right now? Not really. Is there a girl you would do anything for? Anything? No. Is there a boy you would do anything for? No. Who IMed you on Facebook last? My friend Ian, but I haven't read it yet. What color was the last swimsuit you wore? Black. Have you ever been to an auto show? Yooo I remember as a kid, my family went with our friends to a monster truck show, I think it was? I was so not digging it and wanted to go home the whole time. What was the last thing you cooked for dinner? I had one of those Banquet microwavable dinners last night. Spicy chicken and mac 'n cheese. It's fuckin GOOD and really filling. Do you live in the city/town you were born in? No. Have you slept for longer than usual today? No, I slept terrible. Have you ever smoked a cigarette? No. Have you consumed alcohol today? If so, what? No. What’s your go-to website when you’re really bored? YouTube is my general go-to. Who was the main cook of your Thanksgiving meal last year? My sister. Do you have a passport? If so, how many stamps do you have in it? No. Have you ever been dumped really harshly? WHEEZE Have you ever taken classes for a musical instrument? Yes. Have you ever been on vacation with someone other than your family? Yeah. Do you live with your parents? With my mom. Can you do a blackflip, or anything else of that sort? No. What moment in your life have you been most scared? The night of the breakup, particularly when Mom dragged me back inside and I just literally melted. Do you have any exes you can’t stand anymore? What happened to cause you to feel that way about them? No. Do you ever make your own surveys, or just take them? I just take them. Have you ever actually thought you were pregnant? Were you? Yes, but it was entirely illogical, so I obviously wasn't. Anxiety and being terrified of pregnancy is fun. Are you more of a phone or a computer person? Computer. Do you like to cook, or do you prefer when other people cook for you? I don't cook. How old do you think you’ll be when you move out on your own? Who the fuck knows anymore. Do you have a job? If so, where do you work? If not, do you want one? No; yes. Have you ever ripped your pants in public? I don't think so? Do movies such as Saw and The Grudge scare you easily? No. How many best friends do you have? What are their names? One; Sara. What’s the craziest thing you’ve ever been dared to do? Did you do it? No clue. Can you drive? I mean I can, but I'm terrified of it, and my permit is expired anyway. What do you consider to be a good grade? What do you consider to be a bad grade? B; C and below. Have you ever had a teacher who hated you? No. Can you remember who your grade 5 teacher was? Did you like them? Yes, I adored them both. Do you know anybody that has severe allergies? Multiple people. Who was the last person you slow danced with? laskdjflka;jwe What’s your favourite song at the moment? Ah shit man idk. Do you prefer headphones or earbuds? Earbuds. Headphones aggravate my ears. Do you ever ride the city bus? How much does it cost you? We don't even have one here. How do you get to school? N/A What is the last book you read? Did you enjoy it? The first Wings of Fire book, and yes, very much. Do you scream out the answers while watching game shows on TV? Scream, no. I'll say them sometimes, though. Who in your life do you care about more than yourself? Mom, Sara. Jason, probably, as much as I hate to admit that. Would you ever consider adopting a child with a severe mental illness? HYPOTHETICALLY, if I even wanted kids, yes. I'm very empathetic and care a shitload about mental health, so I think I'd be a very good cheerleader for them. Which wild animal would you most like to have as a pet? Again hypothetically, a meerkat, but I DO NOT support them as pets and get very upset when I see them as such. What bill do you hate paying the most? I don't have any. When is the last time you got drunk and danced on a bar? Never. If you could move anywhere and take someone with you, who and where would it be? Sara to the mountains of NC. Favorite non-sexual thing to do with girl/boy? Play games together. Who from high school would you like to run in to? A handful of people.

[footballerimaginess]

Bet On It

Could you do one with neymar where he and his gf aren’t together anymore ( they broke up bc she thinks he asked her out for a bet) but she is pregnant with his baby and they had sex a few times and than one moment they talk about everything and get back together? X Word Count: 1,334 A//N - This is so long, I couldn’t stop typing. My mind went in so any places, I absolutely loved writing this. Please let me know what you think. You and Neymar were going through a pretty rough patch in your relationship. Everything seemed to be going so well, until you had cottoned on to something with him. He was acting a little off with you. He wasn’t being his bubbly and happy self. It wasn’t like him at all. One of his friends had come round, this house was never quiet. There was always someone in it. For once all you wanted was it to just be you and Neymar. “Oh so you are still together, did she ever find out that we bet you to go out with her?” His friend said as Neymar rolled his eyes. You bit your tongue and tried so hard to stop yourself from crying. This couldn’t have been true at all. You shook your head, hoping it wasn’t anything and just that his friends were messing about. You excused yourself to go upstairs. Meanwhile, downstairs Neymar shout his friend a swearword. “I cant believe you actually said that. She already thinks I’m up to no good You absolute idiot” His friend shrugged his shoulders, not really seeing anything bad about it. “It was a joke, we all know you didn’t think that” Neymar sighed. “Yes I know. But she doesn’t think that does she clearly. You best go” Neymar ushered his best friend out the door. He walked upstairs to find you sitting on the bed in floods of tears. “What’s up beautiful?” He asked as he sat beside you on he bed. “You know what’s wrong” you managed to get out the reply. “I am sorry baby, honestly that wasn’t the case. The boys were just messing about please. Darling I love you. I have never ever said anything like that” you shook your head, just ignoring him. You needed space from him. “Ney, we are over. I can’t do this anymore” you said as you packed an overnight bag so you could stay at a friends house. “Please don’t do this babe” you shook your head at him. “I can’t do it Ney. You have really hurt me” you said as he caught your tear. - After a few weeks of space, Neymar didn’t seem to want to let you go. You kept thinking abut him, maybe he was right and you wanted him back too. After finally ignoring him for long enough, a few days were probably the longest you have gone without speaking to him. You went out and headed to see him. “I am so sorry for being an idiot, I need you” Neymar moaned, practically pulling your arm out as you headed upstairs. “Ney” you smirked as he pulled you onto the bed, he couldn’t get your clothes off quick enough. “Maybe we should go on a few weeks break more often” you winked as he kissed you all over your body. This happened a few times, you still weren’t happy with him after what was said. But you seemed to find him more irresistible when you were on a break. “Maybe we should get back together babe. I mean the sex is so fucking good.” You laughed as you agreed and kissed him. “Okay we are back together, but you need to be serious with me now” you told him. “Yes I will be babe. Sorry for being an idiot” You kissed him on the lips. - You finally moved back into your house with Neymar. It was refreshing to be back together. There was still a doubt in the back of your mind that his friend was being serious when he said Neymar only went out with you for a bet. You were quite worried by it, Neymar obviously didn’t know it was bothering you. One morning, you felt absolutely disgusting. You couldn’t stop feeling sick, no matter how much water you had was just coming back out. Nothing was settling in your stomach. You splashed some water on your face because you were feeling so hot and sweaty. Before you usually started your period, you always felt quite unwell. But this time it was so different, you checked your app and realised your period was a day late. This never ever happened. You were always on  time, like clock work “shit” you moaned as your heard the front door open. It was Neymar coming back from the away game. “Hello babe” Neymar said as you approached him in the kitchen. “Hi, you played well today” you weakly smiled. “thanks darling, are you okay?” he questioned you. You shook your head and covered your mouth, feeling sick coming up again. You quickly ran to the toilet and emptied the contents of your stomach again. He ran behind you, running his hand on your lower back. “It’s okay princess i am here” he said as he reassured you by staying beside you. No matter how disgusting this was. You finally come back up for air. “I am so sorry” you mumbled as Neymar flushed the toilet for you and pulled you up off the floor. “Are you okay? You are never sick” you took a deep breath. “I am pregnant, i haven’t taken a test yet but i just know it” you said to him as you saw Neymar’s eyes widen. “What? Really. Go and get a test” you nodded as Neymar gave you a cuddle. You tied your hair up and made your way to the car. “Actually, I will take you. You aren’t well enough to drive” Neymar said. “Thank you” You whispered. “I feel so weak, please go slowly” you mumbled as you walked behind him. Once arriving at the pharmacy, Neymar didn’t want to go in considering the whole world would know in a split second that his girlfriend was expecting. You just grabbed any test, you had no idea which one you needed or was eve the best to get. Buy it was super expensive, you bought it and headed home. You were so quiet on the way home, you didn’t want to talk. You were trying to process the fact you could find out you were pregnant and change you whole life in moments. - You finally got home and headed to the bathroom upstairs Neymar slowly followed behind you. “Will you stay here?” You nervously asked him as you tried to rip the box open, bu your hands were shaking. “Course, I am not moving anywhere” he smiled as he reassured you and grabbed the test and opened the box for you. It was one of those tests which said how many weeks you are. “Pregnant 2-3 Weeks” you splashed your face with water before seeing Neymar. “We are having a baby” you said to him as Neymar’s face lit up. “wow” he said as you showed him the test. You ran your hand over your stomach and he places his hand on yours. He sat you down on the bed. “I know I am so sorry for everything that has happened. I never ever said to the boys that it was a bet. I knew we were going to be in a relationship from the moment I met you. I never ever want to leave you. Please stay with me. I love you and now you are carrying my little baby in your tummy” you felt your face tear up. “Ney, I have just found out I am pregnant and I am in a mess right now I am so hormonal right now. But thank you, all I needed was you to say this to me. I knew you didn’t mean it, but it freaked me out babe. I love you so much. I cannot wait to see where the future takes us” you kissed him as you laid on the bed. “Thank you so much, love you too” He smiled as he lifted your shirt up and placing his strong hand on your stomach and places a kiss on your bare non existent bump. “See you soon baby” he smiled at you.

[rosykims]

5 + 10 for emeraude, 14 + 18 for effie, 19 + 24 for arylene and 30 through 45 for imogen bc i love her so much ? 😏😏😏

fdjkfjkfdk thank u SO much maia i absolutely Treasure You !

EMERAUDE HAWKE - DA2

What does your OC normally wear? What would your OC wear on a special night?

emeraudes fashion sense is probably my favourite out of all my ocs, so uh if u havent looked at her pinterest board yet u should do that bc its Very cute hehehe

anyway for the most part she sticks to dark, practical clothing whenever she's out and about in kirkwall or doing merc work, etc. she picks clothes that convey strength and power, but she likes having a little bit of colour somewhere on the piece, just to keep things interesting. she's not much of an embroider, but was a good way to keep herself distracted during hard times, so she tends to add little patterns here and there whenever she gets the chance!

as for special occasions, for her this would actually just be. a quiet night at home or a relaxed gathering with her friends. bc its so rare for her to have that lmao. anyway for events like that she usually wears light colours and soft fabrics, simple but always decorated with flowers or colourful patterns.

What does your OC keep in a special drawer?

she has a collection of gifts ! that kids from lowtown would give her over the years she spent in kirkwall. she's a very community based person and wants to do right for her city, and shes very nurturing (in an ironical, Cool Big Sister way) so she likes making sure all the kids are safe and being looked after. she gets a lot of trinkets and strange gifts from some of the kids as a result, but she does treasure them (even if she laughs about it with her friends) and keeps them all !

EFFIE RYDER - MEA

Who is the mother and/or father figure in your OC’s life?

effie's maternal rolemodel has always been her late mother, ellen. nobody could really fill that role in her eyes, since they had such a close, positive relationship before she passed. her relationship with her dad was a lot more strained and it really impacted a lot of her relationships later on in life too ! she tends to.... see an older man who is Vaguely Nice to her, and then think “ oh, youre my dad now?” which isnt fair to anybody obviously but yeah she,,,, has a lot of unresolved issues regarding alec and tends to unintentionally project so. We stan !

How many times did your OC move as a child? Which area was his/her favorite?

oh constantly lol. With her dad being an n7 and her mother working so hard on her research, they tended to move around wherever her parents work required. she actually enjoyed it this way. she was never good at making long term friends, but she lived meeting new people, and obviously with the move she got to experience a lot of different cultures which really put the idea of adventuring and travelling in her head at a young age.

ARYLENE TORR - TES IV

What does your OC think of children- either in general or about having them?

she likes them ! she tends to keep her distance with most communities and groups of people in particular, but she does like enjoys having the odd conversation with the odd street urchin here and there, either sharing with them some strange, ridiculous life advice or – if shes feeling particularly chaotic – telling them the scariest stories she can think of. as for having them, arylene isnt AGAINST the idea, but she has far too much for the foreseeable future for that to ever be a good idea

Who are the people your OC dislikes/hates?

outwardly, arylene is an almost unbearably easy going person, so you would assume she doesnt hate anyone lol. but she does DEEEPLY dislike cults and groups of ignorant people who are arrogant enough to start messing with the balance of life, or making deals with gods, etc. she believes that people like that can do an unbelievable amount of damage, so she invests a lot of time and effort it sabotaging any group or plot she happens to find !

 IMOGEN FOSTER - RDR2

Did your OC participate in extracurricular activities, and if so, what were they?

hmm idk if this even EXISTED in 19th century london lol, but she would have done some very tame version of girl scouts as a child! She barely remembers any of it, but she liked the classes on what plants did what, which were safe to eat, and the likes. its something that helps her a lot when on the run with the gang, and something shes always had a personal interest in, as a nurse !

other than that, she’s done a lot of independent study on history, classical literature, and she speaks fluent italian we stan !

What is your OC’s opinion of school? What kind of student was s/he?

imogen comes from a very wealthy aristocratic family, so she was very fortunate that her privilege afforded her the education she got at the time. she is VERY grateful to have attended the schools she did, and she made sure to make the most of it, paying attention in class and studying harder than most of her classmates. she's a smart girl with a very active mind, so knowledge is something she can't get enough of. she was actually petitioning the board of education to allow her to attend university before she left for america – already their had been women accepted into universities at that time, but obviously it was still a very scandalous thing lol, especially since imogen wanted to study medicine.

What subjects did your OC excel at?

imogen is a HUGE overachiever and did pretty well at basically everything from science, mathematics, language studies and later on, in her studies as a nurse. i can tell you what shes bad at though lmao

anything physical really dkdkdks she is TERRIBLE at horse-riding since she usually just went by carriage everywhere in the city. art and poetry and writing in general she was never great at, because she's a pretty logical person and was told she never put enough emotion in her work lol !!! sports...obviously was very limited anyway as growing up in like? the early 1870s lol. and as for the traditionally feminine lessons in like ?? sewing and cooking and stuff well ! she was very average at them which made her  feel worse than if she was actually bad bc she's so used to excelling and making a name for herself oof

What subjects interested your OC?

Imogen loves greek literature and mythology !! the iliad is her favourite book and she keeps her heavily annotated, dog eared copy – a gift from her late father – on her person almost constantly. needless to say its why dutch admires her as much as he does lol.

obviously, as a nurse-trying-to-be-a-doctor, she has a great love for medicine in all its forms. she's always been fascinated in natural remedies, and even moreso when she's running with the van der linde gang and is really relying on the land to survive.

What is your OC’s dream job and/or current profession?

hmm okay so. Technically she's a nurse – she worked in her father's hospital for almost 10 years prior to his death, and she was sort of his unofficial understudy, as in she knows a LOT more than her job description requires lol. but after her father past away, another, less progressive man took his place as chief of surgery and made a lot of changes to the way the hospital operated, and imogen was let go. she and her mother were fighting against it, however, under the ground of unfair dismissal, but obviously given the time period it didnt get them very far. so ! i mean technically she's unemployed rn. but she still has dreams of being a doctor, or at least continuing her career in medicine.

How is your OC working towards their dream job and/or achieved their current profession?

Oh VERY direct action up until she got disheartened and chose to take her sabbatical. she had been working in her role for nearly a decade, and was very obviously one of the most experienced nurses there. even younger doctors would sometimes ask her for her medical opinion dksksks anyway what i am saying is Brain Very Good. she had been fighting to gain admission into a university – any, she wasnt picky – to study medicine officially, but it didnt get very far and she put it on hold after her father got sick. after he died and she was laid off, she fought even harder against the city to reinstate her title, and continues to fight after she returns from america a year or so later.

What are your OC’s thoughts/opinions of his/her current profession?

helping people is her entire life, and she wouldn't know what to do without it. she loves being a nurse enough to fight to be a doctor, but also in BEING a nurse, she is hyperaware of all the things current medical standards seem to get wrong, and she has a lot of ideas about how else to go about things. her father, a shockingly progressive and worldly man for the time period, shared her sentiment, but he wasn't able to make the changes he wanted to before he passed, so imogen hopes she can be the change herself, and make her father proud

What is your OC’s biggest dream?

being a licenced doctor, babey ! preferably at her father's hospital, but at the point she will take what she can get.

How does your OC react to and handle stress?

imogen  handles stress very well , which is partially why she makes such a good medic, and also how she managed to survive the first week of being with the van der linde gang lmao. she is very good at shutting out EVERY distraction when things get dicey, and her brain tends to move at a million miles an hour. all traces of english etiquette and politeness go out the window, though, so you'll usually catch her barking orders at people, and yelling at anyone who prevents her from doing the work she needs to do. it.....is a big wake up call for people like dutch and micah, and gets her into a LOT of trouble on multiple occasions.

How does your OC handle anger?

ooo......not great. she’s grown up with parents who maybe encouraged her to speak her mind a bit....TOO much given the historical circumstances lol. she really doesn’t stand for ignorance or prejudices in any capacity, and if she has a problem with someone and it gets in the way of her trying to do her work or help others - she will ABSOLUTELY be having words. she also overestimates her own strength quite a lot. she’s tried to throw hands with micah MANY times, often forgetting she’s this tiny 70kg englishwoman and he’s .... Him sdjkdcjkf. she has a big mouth too so she often says snide remarks without even meaning too, which tends to get her in trouble as well. on the bright side, it also helps her fit in with the gang quite well, because for the most part they all appreciate how wild she is lmao

How does your OC handle grief?

hmm i guess it depends on what you would class as “well”? she doesnt cry very often - being stoic and handling your emotions is important when your a nurse - but she does tend to shove her feelings down far longer than she should, and tries to pretend they don’t exist by simply focusing on other things. she also blames herself when a lot of things go wrong, because she’s a perfectionist and wants to FIX everything, so when she finds something - or someone - she can’t save, it feels like a personal failure. like she let them down :(

What is your OC’s greatest fear?

probably being trapped in an unhappy, unfulfilling marriage with someone who undervalues her. she’s not much of a homebody and doesn’t have too much of an interest in being married, but the idea of feeling FORCED to marry someone in order to have a decent quality of life makes her blood run cold oof

What makes your OC happy?

helping people ! meeting new folks ! learning about other cultures and ways of life! learning about NEW THINGS in general ! proving people wrong ! insulting micah !

as tough and high-and-mighty as she sometimes seems, she’s a pretty easy person to please, honestly. treat her with respect, give her space to do the things she wants to do, and don’t get in the way of her opportunities to learn new things, and she’s mostly very happy !

What kind of sense of humor does your OC have?

she has a fairly macabre and sardonic sense of humour, something she picked up from her mother. she says a lot of Shocking things for the time period, and she’s not shy of dirty jokes either. the first time sean heard her, a soft, well spoken english Lady, make some filthy, crude joke, he nearly had a stroke right there on the spot kjkjkfdjkf

What are some things that greatly upset your OC?

senseless violence, suffering or cruelty. she really hated the gang at first and hoped to escape the first chance she got, because all she could see was the crime and disregard for human life she assumed they all held. fortunately, as she got to know them, she realized this wasn’t exactly the case, but she still has a lot of anger in her heart for a few key members of the gang who seem to enjoy bloodshed more than anything. she also hates any form of social prejudice, and people who gatekeep knowledge and opportunities from others.

What are some things that annoy your OC?

i guess all of the above, but she also dislikes misplaced arrogance, and people who talk down to others. she tolerates dutch, but often gets frustrated with the way he speaks, using as many big words as he can to manipulate and confuse others. she believes that really intelligence doesn’t require obscure jargon and big, fancy words - she likes keeping things simple, so everybody can follow along.

[sanders-sides-rebloger]

Sanders Sides Disney Zombies AU Prompt

Paring: Prinxiety

A/N If you haven't watched this yet you'll probably be confused. This has been on my mind for a long time and since I haven't seen it I wrote a prompt myself! 

This r e a l l y feels like a shortened version of the whole thing, I've never done prompts before.  Please comment and tell me your thoughts on this!

Roman is a human and both him Virgil and hate each other

Roman is actually pretty rich, everything was given to him since he was little, he’s popular, and practically lived the life of luxury

However behind all that glamor, being known as the top performing actor, people in Seabrook will have expectations. Especially his parents, who need him to be the best of the best for their family legacy! 

 So he hides behind a mask of confidence every once in a while to blend in with he crowd or if absolutely necessary, almost a whole week or more.  

Virgil’s life isn’t too fancy. The death of a close family friend of his plus moving to a new school caused him to have social anxiety and a shy but aggressive exterior. No one really talked to him

His only friend being Logan, but they only hang out during school. It’s doesn’t matter though, Virgil prefers that being a lone wolf is the play it safe rout

Virgil sees Roman as snobby and full of himself, Roman sees Virgil as the kid who doesn’t really care at all about anyone too much

They torment each other almost every chance they get by giving sly comments in the halls or annoyingly teasing one another constantly. They honestly can’t stand each other

The day the apocalypse starts, Roman gets bitten and was lucky enough to be able to live on the other side of the barrier, one of the dilemmas is that he can’t perform anymore and feels devastated 

 Virgil assumes that Roman was able to escape before the apocalypse hit and thought he’d never see him again. Which he was ok with, he hates him but it’s not like he wanted him dead

Romans taken from his home and has to live on the opposite side of the border. He meets Patton and the two easily become close buds over one of them accidentally being hit in the head by a football

First day back at Seabrook and Roman is nervous as hell, he can already feel the odd stares at the back of his neck.

The days he’s back at Seabrook Roman can finally see his family regularly again. 

He confronts his theater friends and they feel awkward and don’t know how to react to Roman being undead 

They decide to take separate paths since “hey man, your a zombie now and things aren’t the same as they used to be” (I like to think that Remy is the ‘leader’ of this group)

Let’s just say Roman decides to stay with Patton for the rest of the year 

Virgil and Roman cross paths again and Virgil’s immediately shook like “Holy crap! The guy whose constantly annoying me is undead.” And it crosses his mind that Roman basically died but was luckily able to stay alive again 

He doesn’t know how to feel about this 

Having forgot about the emo nightmare, Roman stands there awkwardly stumbling over his words

In this moment Roman feels like a complete idiot and leaves immediately  

Noticing a big switch on Romans overall mood, Virgil eventually finds him and decides to ask him about it. Partly bc he’s curious and mainly bc he’s worried about him. Not that he’ll admit it or anything 

When they talk, Virgil is told the man feels depressed about how different, now, his life is

It felt nice to have someone to vent to

Virgil tries his gosh darn best to comfort the man bc he’s bad with people and realizes that Roman is actually a decent guy

 Roman grins, feeling a little more confident. Then thanks him for his efforts

Patton introduces Roman to his friends at lunch (It could be the canon characters or other people) and they all get along well 

Having an ego boost for once in a long time decides to try out for theater once again! Still having the burning passion of the spotlight dwelling inside him! 

Virgil overhears the conversation with Roman and the teacher 

He surprised to hear that Roman is rejected from the club. Reason being is that Zombies aren’t simply allowed and that was that

He does his best to reason with them, mentioning his Z-band and confirming that nothing will happen

It fails and Roman leaves with emptiness in his heart. Performing is his life and without it he doesn't know what to do next

Virgil’s pissed. Sure Roman was an a-hole in the beginning but he realizes that he’s struggling more than ever. Roman is still himself inside and they don’t see that

Flashback to Patton briefly seeing Roman talking to Virgil in what seems like a serious conversation. He assumes that they’re good friends now and reconciles to him about his friends recent gloomy behavior 

They talk for a bit about how in the world to bring his mood back up and Virgil has an idea to convince the theater department.

He convinces Logan to help, he doesn’t get much of it, but it’s help nonetheless 

It works! Roman is allowed to be in production for their next play! But for only one time to see how he does or if anything happens 

It’s a small role but Romans still a happy bean 

He goes to Patton, talking fast and all excited. Being like “I got a role! I don't know how or why but they let me have a small part! They must’ve changed their minds or something”

Patton’s laughs, and casually tells Roman the truth. “Heh, well you better thank Virgil for that one!” 

Roman gives him an unconvinced look since they don’t know each other. Patton tells him everything and Roman flushes. “Omg he actually wanted to help me?!”

He hugs his dad-like friend, over-dramatically thanks him, and heads for Virgil next

The actor talks to him and thanks him for everything. Feeling like he owes him the world (or does something else overdramatic to thank him)

They both hang out a lot more and become really close friends throughout the many months 

* After a while Roman falls first 

* The more they roam the halls with each other at their sides, the more odd stairs they receive

He gets anxious, Virgil hating that he’s the center of attention, just wants to crawl into a hole of darkness

Roman notices this and pulls him out of the crowd and into the Zombie Safe Room

THEY SING “SOMEDAY” TOGETHER. DO YOU NOT KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE THAT IMAGE IN MY HEAD 

They become closer!

Tis the day of Romans performance! Virgil bites his nails, feeling nervous for him 

After the first act Virgil congratulates him, feeling absolutely proud 

Roman uses his Z-band to help him have the most perfect performance he’s ever done! Patton reluctantly agrees to hack it for him, having full trust in his friend

It backfires and he ends up almost hurting Logan 

Virgil tries to calm Roman down, but he’s pulled away from him before he can do anything    

He’s locked up for further investigation. After almost 6 months of inspection, Romans let go but is under careful surveillance

It was a painful 6 months 

Virgil reflects during this period and finds that he has feelings for him as well. He realizes how much he doesn’t want to lose him. He’s never felt this way before. 

First time seeing Patton after so long, he practically gets trampled on by the crying father friend, and hang out for a while  

First time in seeing Virgil after so long, Roman gives him the tightest hug in the world, and whispered softly in his ear. “I missed you so much dearest...”  

A few days role by with Roman being constantly checked on during brunch and lunch period 

Patton was finally able invite the both of them to the zombie hang out party to celebrate and were able to sneak there

Roman plans to confess his feelings there

A bit of some awesome partying later (insert cute platonic moxiety moments here) they go to the second floor where Roman describes as the ‘best part’ of the whole place 

They sing Someday ballad version together! 

By the end of their song Roman confesses and they both slowly lean in, but since It’s past curfew a startling crash pulls them apart. It was the sound of the police evacuating the building

Before Roman could leave, Virgil desperately and quickly grabs onto his shirt, giving him a pleading gaze

 Roman lovingly connects both their foreheads together to try to calm him. “Don’t worry, I’ll be back for you. I promise.”

It’s been almost two weeks without a word from him, Virgil’s worried sick of course. He grows, tired, confused, and anxious since Roman hasn’t answered any of his texts or calls. 

There’s a knock on his front door

His parents open it and call to Virgil saying a friend wants to see him. 

Being tired and grumpy, Roman stands on the other side of the entrance. His mouth opens agape at the completely human looking Roman in front of him 

Virgil’s obviously still mad at him for practically avoiding Virgil for about two weeks but he makes it up to him by taking him to a frozen yogurt place as their first date.

He explains how he able to have Patton hack his Z-band to change him temporarily. 

Virgil soon finds out the whole human look thing is a surprise for Virgil so they can go out as official in public 

They have a great time! But looking closer into the actors once original structure, he feels bad for how he’s treated and assumed the worst of him in the past. Virgil tells him this.

He wonders how their relationship would’ve even started at all, if Roman was never bitten 

Truths were spilled about the opinions of one another, and apologies were made

Roman tells him he is forever banned from performing or going anywhere near the theater club. But he’s had time to accept this and appreciates what he has now 

After the date, the actor quickly escorts Virgil home, late at night. Almost in hurry to change back to normal so he doesn’t get caught. After all he’s on a strict curfew schedule 

He feels really bad for having to leave him right after their first date but he plans to make up for it the next-

Virgil looks around and determinedly pulls Roman at the side of his house, out of sight from anyone. His partner stumbles in confusion

 He grabs the collar of Romans shirt and pulls him down to his height. Pressing a firm kiss on his lips. Both men melting instantly and relax in each other’s embrace. 

Roman curls his arms around his partners waist to pull him closer, as Virgil wraps his arms around Romans neck

Roman pulls away, chuckling. “You know, I’ve been wanting to do that for a while now.” He smiles. Virgil buries his head into the taller mans shoulder, taking in what’s left of his scent 

This is officially one of the happiest moment of their lives 

They part ways with the biggest smiles on their faces going from ear to ear 

The next couple months go by with Virgil anxiously accepting himself in Patton and Romans group, strengthening their love for each other, and proving to themselves that society doesn’t control who they are in life  

[ohalemalia]

Daily Dose - Part. 7 (S.M. Imagine)

Pairing: Scott McCall x Reader

Warnings: fighting

A\N: I’m thinking no more summaries bc #spoilers. I’ve got new writings in the works. Expect a Theo imagine, a multipart Derek fic and a Malia imagine soon ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) I edited this as i could if there are errors i am sorry i am a bit tired haha

Word Count: 3735

Have you ever had those stress dreams after lying in your bed at night during a bout of insomnia? The ones that make no sense whatsoever. The ones that if you tell your therapist or a psychic about it, they’ll tell you that they’re your subconscious telling you what it really wants?

It’s a good thing I don’t go to therapists or psychics, because I would not want to hear that.

So, I guess I should break it down. Basically late last night I was wide awake in bed, stressing about the fact that I was going to be officially starting school the next morning. Eventually, I managed to fall asleep. I dreamt that I was walking into school the first time, books in hand, backpack on my back and a heavy feeling in my chest. People were walking past me, but every time they did, they would stare at me. And stare. And stare. It got to a point when I was standing in the middle of the entire Beacon Hills High student body circled around me. I looked around but there was nowhere to get out and everyone was staring at me. I opened my mouth to say something, to ask why they were all doing this but no sound came out.

Then they started marching toward me. The circle started getting tighter and tighter. I spun around, trying to find a way out, trying to get them to leave me alone, telling them I was going to be late to my first period.

Then, through the crowd burst the one and only Scott McCall. He shoved people out of the way.Once he got through the crowd we made eye contact.

“Scott,” Was the only word I was able to say.

He heard me and came rushing towards me. My feet were basically hard wired to go right towards him. His hands went on my cheeks and he KISSED ME.

RIGHT ON MY MOUTH.

SCOTT MCCALL KISSED ME (in my dream) BUT HE KISSED ME.

The worst part? It felt like I was meant to kiss him my entire life. All the other (well, they weren’t a lot, let me not kid myself) but all the other kisses were just training for kissing Scott and ugh admitting that just makes me want to--

Well, I’m not sure what I want to do but it’s not good.

Besides, it was just a dream and it probably means nothing, so there’s no reason to blow it out of proportion. The thing I should really be worried about was jumping into the lion’s den that wasa new high school.

I emptied my concoction of pills and vitamins into the palm of my hand, tossed them into my mouth and downed them with some water. They were hard to swallow (much like the truth) and left a bitter taste in my mouth (also similar to the truth) but I had to take them. They didn’t completely make my lupus go away (obviously), but they helped everything feel a little bit better.

I rubbed my shoulder and tried to soothe the pain in the socket as I walked over to the closet to decide what to wear today. As the weeks went by, I can slowly started moving more and more of my things into the McCall’s house. I insisted on going home so I wouldn’t be in their way, but Melissa and Scott really wanted me around and my parents felt safer if I wasn’t alone given my current conditions. The other option was to have my Aunt Liv come live with me or to go live with her. I really didn’t want to be uprooted from the one place I was starting to feel comfortable. Aunt Liv felt the same way since she just moved to Seattle to pursue her art career. Besides, my parents just bought the house, there was no way they were selling it already.

In the middle of picking my outfit, there was a soft knock at my door.

“Come in,” I called out as I picked a purple top out of the closet and held it up in front of me.

The door opened and in popped Scott’s head, “Hey.”

My heart hammered in my chest. I knew he couldn’t possibly have known about my dream, but it still didn’t make things feel less weird, even if they weren’t real.

“Hey,” I hung the purple shirt back up and grabbed a black one.

“So,” Scott walked into my room and plopped himself down on the bed, “How are you feeling? You excited?”

“If by excited you mean going to throw up, then yes. Super excited,” I slipped the shirt off the hanger and threw the shirt on the bed next to him.

“It won’t be that bad,”  Scott assured me, “And you’ve been to school before, right?”

“Yeah,” I grabbed a pair of jeans with a frown on my face, “But this is a new one. I don’t know anyone.”

“You know me,” Scott sat up straighter, “And Stiles, Lydia, Liam, Mason, Malia, Kira.”

The mention of Kira’s name made my slightly uncomfortable, “Yeah...but what if I don’t have any of you in my classes?”

“Then I will switch every one of my classes to be with you if it makes you feel better,” Scott smiled so earnestly and I believed him. Then I thought about the dream and my stomach did a somersault. Not the good kind.

I abruptly broke away from his gaze and folded my jeans over my arm, “I didn’t mean just you, the others too.”

Speaking of the others, I needed to know something, “Like Kira. What do you think of her?”

“Kira?” Scott leaned back on the bed to think about my oddly specific mention of her, “Yeah, I mean Kira’s great.”

“Yeah, I bet,” I placed my shirt on top of the jeans, “I mean she’s really sweet and really pretty.”

Scott sat up straight on the bed, his eyes narrowed at me in confusion, “Are you...do you...are you trying to get me to set you up with Kira?”

I spun around to look at him with my eyes wide, “What?!”

“I mean, that’s totally fine! I didn’t mean to offend you. That’s totally fine! Kira’s like great, I think you two would be good toge--”

“Scott! God! No! I’m not--that wasn’t the point. I do not like Kira.”

Scott gave me a look and I started to backtrack.

“I mean, I like her and all, but not like that. She’s--” I pinched the bridge of my nose and tried to collect my thoughts. When I had figured out how delicately I was going to put this, I looked up at Scott, “Did you and Kira have a thing?”

Now it was Scott’s turn to be flabbergasted, “What? No? Why would you ask that?”

I raised my eyebrows and looked down at the ground, “Well from the looks of it, I think she has a thing for you.”

Scott watched me as I crossed the room to get to the bathroom, “Kira? Are we talking about the same person?”

“Kira, cute Asian girl, a bit mousy and awkward but otherwise very much into you,” I clarified, “And you’d have to be blind to not see the way she looked at us the entire time at my party after my parents called.”

Scott must have temporarily lost his vision that night because he definitely did not know what I was talking about, “But...we’re just friends.”

“You and me?” I turned to look at him, “Or you and her?”

I continued my walk to the bathroom. Scott got up and followed me, “I don’t know, both?”

“All I’m saying is it wouldn’t hurt you to go on a date with her. Just to test it out, you know? See if there’s that spark.”

Scott chuckled, “Y/N, I have no idea what you’re talking about. And I’m pretty sure Kira doesn’t like me like that.”

I smiled as I got on my tiptoes to lean close to his face, “And I’m pretty sure you’re wrong.”

I had meant to quickly turn around and shut the door in his face to get the last word, but I hadn’t counted how close I would actually be in his face.  And I hadn’t counted on noticing how his eyes had reddish undertones and a slight sparkle of gol

ABORT.

ABORT.

ABORT.

The dream started playing in hyperspeed through my brain again. In a panic, I went inside the bathroom and shut the door, leaving Scott even more confused on the other side.

------

“Scott! I can’t believe you have her riding on the back of that thing!”

As we pulled up to the school on the back of Scott’s motorcycle, Lydia was heading towards us with a frown on her face. Kira, Malia and Stiles were also standing there, behind them a very cute blue jeep.

“My mom has the car,” Scott explained as I took my helmet off and handed it to him, “How else are we supposed to get here?’

“You could call me for a ride, or walk, or run for all that matters,” Lydia crossed her arms. While Lydia and Scott went back and forth about how safe or unsafe the motorcycle was, out of morbid curiosity, my eyes drifted over to Kira. Her eyes were cast down and Malia was muttering something to her, while looking over at me every couple of seconds. I frowned. I really didn’t want to cause any problems or have girls hating me over a guy. I glanced over at Scott to see if he could see what was going on too and that I wasn’t just imagining things, but he was still talking to Lydia. With a sigh, I decided it was time to break this up.

“Guys,” No one listened. “Guys!”

Lydia stopped mid sentence, her red lips still opened and looked over at me. Scott did the same, minus the red lips stick, of course.

“We got here in one piece. And I appreciate your concern but it’s totally okay,” I smiled, “Let’s just get to class.”

They reluctantly agreed to drop the subject and we headed into the monster house that was high school. I didn’t know what to expect. I didn’t know what would happen. I just hoped I made it out in one piece.

------

So I only have classes with Kira and we’re partners for every single project for the rest of the year.

Kidding!

In all of my classes I have at least one person that I know, which is really comforting. No one gave my pity because I’m sick, which is great. And the school day is over, which is fantastic.

As I walked out of the classroom, I pulled my phone out to text Scott and ask him where I should meet him.

“Whoa, whoa, watch out!”

I looked up too late and collided with someone carrying a huge canvas. We both fell back on our asses with grunts of pain. My phone skidded across the tile floor and my elbow got banged up pretty badly. My joints were already weak but the added impact of being knocked on the floor felt like someone had just slammed my arm in a car door.

“I’m so sorry!” The other student scrambled to their feet. Someone grabbed my phone and tried to hand it to me, but all  I could focus on was the burning pain in my arm and the static ringing in my head.

“Are you okay? Are you okay?”

I was fine. I was fine. I was going to be fine. I opened my eyes and looked down at myself. There was paint all over my clothes. Great.

I started to pull myself up to my feet. I felt someone place their hand under my elbow so that they could help me up. I shooed them off, “I got it, I got it.”

“I’m so sorry, I couldn’t see you,” The kid started to explain to me. I shook my head and cradled my elbow to my chest. I felt a lot worse for the kid, his painting was probably ruined at this point.

“I’m okay,” I smiled sympathetically, “I’m really sorry about your painting.”

The kid looked at his painting on the floor and frowned, “I failed the assignment anyway. Again, I’m super sorry. Please don’t hate me.”

“I don’t, don’t worry. It’s fine.”

The kid picked up his canvas and scurried off, a group of students parting to let him through. I sighed, well now I really wanted to go home. My phone chimed with a message. I looked down at it.

Scotty

Hey, i have lacrosse practice after school do you mind staying?

Well, never mind. As I started to reply, I almost bumped into another person. You would think that I

would learn my lesson by now.  I looked up to see Scott grinning down at me, “Hey!”

“Hi, I was just about to--”

“What’s that all over your shirt?”

“Paint.”

“You know the paint’s supposed to go on the paper,” Scott teased, “Not your shirt.”

I rolled my eyes, “Haha, always the comedian. Some kid bumped into me so now this shirt is probably ruined.”

Scott opened his bag, “I’ve got an extra one if you want it.”

Wearing Scott’s shirt?

“Uh, that’s--”

But Scott was already pulling an extra folded up shirt out of his backpack, “My mom just washed it, so it’s totally clean.”

I took the maroon colored shirt from him, “Thanks...I’ll just go and change then.”

“Yeah, totally. Practice is on the field. If you get lost, just listen for Coach yelling at us and saying we’re disappointments to him.”

I raised my eyebrows and nodded, “Will do.”

------

 Oh this was bad. This was totally and absolutely bad. I looked at myself in the bathroom mirror and realised what Scott had given me.

It was his jersey.

It had Beacon Hills with a number 11 on the front but oh no, that wasn’t the icing on the cake. On the back there was the same #11 but right on top of that was “MCCALL” written in big white letters.

Was I overthinking this?

It was one thing to wear your friend’s clothing, a jacket maybe, but it was an entire different ball game entirely to wear a guy’s jersey, much less one with his name on it. It almost signified that you belonged to him or that something was more than it wasn’t. It was something you gave to your girlfriend.

I groaned out loud to myself. I really didn’t want this to be more than it needed to be. I liked having Scott around and I didn’t want to ruin this or him with, well, me.

But I had no choice. I had already thrown my shirt in the sink and soaked it with water to try to get the paint off. I had nothing else to wear at the point. With a sigh, I grabbed my backpack and headed out of the bathroom. The hallways were empty since classes were well over.

Around the corner came Kira and since I had already been bumped into twice today I was ready to move out of the way.

“Oh, I’m sorry!”

“No, it’s fine, I’ve gotten a lot of practice avoiding people at this point.”

“Yeah I heard from Scott,” We shared a laugh together. Kira’s smile faded away as she looked down and noticed my shirt.

“Is that?”

I looked down as if I forgot what I was wearing and covered my arms across my torso, “Uh, yeah, I just needed something to wear since I got paint all over my clothes. It’s not a big deal, really.”

But Kira’s shoulders deflated and I could tell that to her, it was a very big deal, “Yeah. Right. Totally not a big deal, it was nice of Scott to let you wear it. I can tell you guys are close.”

“Not that close,” I tried to make her feel better, “I mean, you’ve known him longer than me.”

“Not that long.”Kira gave me a tight lipped smile and jutted her thumb down the hallway, “I should go.”

She didn’t give me a chance to say goodbye before she spun around and headed down the hall. The last thing I wanted was for Kira to end up crying alone in her car because of me and a stupid jersey. I jogged to catch up to her, “Kira, wait.”

I reached up to put my hand on her shoulder. As soon as my hand made contact with her shoulder, she spun around, her eyes glowing an unnatural orange color. She growled something at me in Japanese and suddenly I was flying across the room.

I skidded across the room and hit a row of lockers with a hard thud. If I thought that getting knocked over earlier had hurt, this was excruciating. Where the hell did Kira get that inhuman strength? Why were her eyes glowing? What the hell was going on?

I opened my eyes and blinked, trying to focus on the real world again. Across the room from me was Kira, standing there but something was very, very off. Around her was an orange glowing aura that almost looked like…

Like a fox.

I tried to scramble to my feet but my body ached. Then Kira started moving towards me.

“Ki-Kira, Kira what are you--”

She growled something else at me, except it didn’t sound like her voice at all. It was distorted at a lower pitch and was plain evil. Then she started moving faster. I couldn’t scoot far enough away she was getting too close.

And she looked like she wanted to kill me.

I grabbed onto the handle of the locker and grabbed myself up to stand. I turned around with a scream and threw myself to the right, narrowly avoiding a kick from Kira. But she showed no signs of letting up.

“Kira! If this is about Scott--”

She shouted something else at me and from the sounds of it she didn’t want to listen to anything I had to say. But I couldn’t process what was going on. Why did Kira look like that? Were demonic possessions real? Why did she want me dead so bad.

Kira swung again and somehow I managed to dodge out of the way. She swiped her leg out from under me and I toppled down to the floor screaming. She jumped on top of me, her eyes burning like fire and her teeth bared at me. The fox aura thing was still around her and I couldn’t understand how my imagination could keep this image up for so long.

Unless...it wasn’t my imagination and this was very real and Kira was going to kill me.

“Kira, please!”

She raised her hand high to gather enough momentum to strike me.

“Kira, don’t, please!”

As Kira went to strike me, a growl rippled through the hallway that sounded vaguely like Kira’s name. I tilted my head back to see a figure standing there. I was I could call it a man, or even human but it wasn’t. It’s face was oddly sharp at the strangest places. It’s eyebrows were low, covering it glowing red eyes. There was hair on it’s cheeks and it’s ears were pointed. I could see it’s sharp teeth as it opened its mouth to growl at Kira again.

I almost passed out right there.

Kira’s eyes softened and returned to their doe like innocence. The orange fox around her dissipated. She looked down at the me in confusion and then in absolute horror.

“Y/N?” She sounded as if she was going to cry, “Y/N, I am so sorry. I am so sorry.”

She got off of me and I scrambled as quick as I could to my feet and away from her. She looked over at the creature standing in the hallway, “Sc-Scott, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to. I don’t know what happened, I just lost control.”

Scott?

I looked over at the creature which was now heading over to us. As it got closer I could see it’s inhuman features melting away until…

It was Scott.

He immediately went to me, “Y/N, are you okay?”

As he reached for me, I drew myself back, “Am I--am I okay? No! No I’m not okay! Wh--what? How could I be okay? What hell--is this some kind of prank?”

Kira shot an alarmed look at Scott, “She doesn’t know…”

“Know what?!” I demanded.

Scott hung his head down, a curl of his hair falling down in his face.

“Why did you--and you--” I couldn’t even begin to ask a question. How could I when I wasn’t even sure what I was dealing with?

“What’s going on, Scott? What’s going on with you?”

“I’m a werewolf, Y/N.”

I opened my mouth to say something, but what the hell was I supposed to say to that?

I shook my head with a bitter laugh, “That’s not funny, Scott.”

“It’s not a joke, Y/N,” Scott insisted.

“No! No it is, this whole--I just--” I was starting to hyperventilate. Werewolves didn’t exist. This wasn’t funny and I wasn’t laughing. In fact, I was starting cry, “I’m freaking out here! Kira just tried to kill me and I--I--”

“Y/N,” Scott grabbed my hands in his, “I’m telling you the truth. I swear, I’m telling you the truth.”

I shook my head, “Werewolves aren’t real, they aren’t, they’re just stories. Bad movies.”

“They’re not, Y/N.”

I shook my head and pulled my hands away from his, “I need to go.”

“Y/N, please,” Scott mirrored my movements as I stood up, “Please don’t go.”

I held a hand out to keep him at a distance. I couldn’t process all of this. Not right now. Not with Scott, “Just stay away from me right now, please.”

Walking away from Scott and seeing him standing there absolutely crushed gave a whole new meaning to the sad puppy vibe I was getting. Twenty four  hours ago, if you had asked me if I would leave Scott’s side I’d probably tell you no. But now?

I wasn’t sure if I was coming back.

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