#and my podcast is quite the passion of mine :)

[s-ccaam-era-crepe]

HI!! I'd love to hear about your podcast ocs :)

YAYY HII !!! (Everything is under the cut because I felt like i got a bit rambley <3)

okay well i've done simple breakdowns of some of them before but im in a talkative mood tonight so i'm probably going to repeat myself from prior posts and if information is different on the posts you can blame plot holes. ANyways!!

the podcast is my original podcast Brickwoods Amusment Park (BAP for short) where 5 teens who are invited to the park for a tour end up getting trapped by an eldritch god inside the park and some really horror-ish and creepy stuff happens to them while they try to get out

Now Meet the cast !!-

First Sophia Wynecrosse (tw cults for sophia's part)- (she/they + neos) they are a vlogger/streamer who was invited to create popularity for the park with their videos and she is the main source of audio for the first part of the podcast. Ve are very loud and exciting and passionate about their interests. Sophia also however, is the leader of a very big cult, one that happens to worship the god the kids are trapped by. This causes sophia to know a little bit more than the rest of the group while they try to get out, and also causes Sophia to make some questionable choices in the future.

Next, Blair Li-Ross !!- (they/them) Blair was invited to the park because their parents work for the park and they were encouraged (read: forced) to tag along to get out of the house. Blair is a stubborn and tough character that just wants to get out alive to make sure they can protect their younger sibling, so they are willing to fight to protect themselves over anyone or anything else.

Sunni Moore time!- (he/him) Sunni is a lovable smiley character that tries to be happy all the time for the sake of himself and others, however he's also very blunt and straightforward when it comes to their outcomes in the park. Sunni also has quite the dark secret that he hides because the majority of the people who knew he then no longer are around so why not create a totally different personality around people who didn't know him at the time of the Incident? (more about the incident here, and also a couple more character things :D)

Now David Garcia- (ae/he) David is sarcastic and funny but ae's also very shielded off ever since a traumatic Incident when ae was younger. Ae knew Sunni when the Incident happened and when ae finds out what really happend ae feels very vulnerable and hurt. David also trusts until that trust is broken and betrayal is almost impossible for you to come back in aer mind.

And finally Rebecca Blake!- (it/she) Rebecca is a worried and concerned person but when pushed will make risky choices to prove something. It is sometimes hot-headed and rude but will normally apologize later. She also is the most intrigued by how the park works, and although it would like to escape the park, she's very interested in knowing how everything happens within it. Especially the more creepy weird stuff, its a skeptic /hj

So anyways now that you know the cast :))

They all attempt to work together to get out of the park alive, however not all of them do make it out and the majority of them end up dying before escaping the park. The only one left being Rebecca, who decides that its up to her to dismantle the cult of the god who trapped them there so it doesn't happen again.

Anyways!! That was basic plot and character descriptions!! Please anyone ask more about particular characters or plot points, I love to chat about them <3

[whereforarthur]

Love at First Podcast

Request: oh one where your a recent new youtuber who’s grown really fast and you get on bach’s and arthur podcast and arthur thinks you’re pretty and is instally his types when he finds out your interests are like his, like his cute like intrested in shark facts and playing chess <33

Pairing: ArthurTv x Youtuber!Reader

Category: Fluff

Word Count: 1.9k

*****

“Falling in love is very real, but I used to shake my head when people talked about soul mates, poor deluded individuals grasping at some supernatural ideal not intended for mortals but sounded pretty in a poetry book. Then, we met, and everything changed, the cynic has become the converted, the sceptic, an ardent zealot.” ― E.A. Bucchianeri

"Alright, love, you're on in three, two, one..."

The countdown echoed in my ear, and my heart skipped a beat as the podcast host's voice grew distant. I, Y/n, a London-based YouTuber with a burgeoning audience, had scored a guest spot on "The Bach and Arthur Podcast," a podcast hosted by none other than ItalianBach and ArthurTv. Known for their charismatic banter and intellectual discussions, the duo had stumbled upon my channel during a late-night scroll and had been asked by their viewers to have me on as a guest, thinking that me and Arthur would get along.

Arthur's husky voice resonated through the airwaves, "Welcome to the podcast, Y/n. We're thrilled to have you with us today."

My voice quivered slightly as I replied, "Thanks for having me, guys. I'm a bit nervous, to be honest."

"Don't worry," Isaac assured me with a chuckle, "We're just here to have a good chat."

The conversation flowed easily as we discussed various topics, from the latest YouTube drama to our favorite hobbies. It was when we touched on shark facts that Arthur's interest seemed to peak. His eyes lit up, and his enthusiasm was palpable even through the microphone.

"Oh, you're into sharks, are you?" Arthur's voice was a warm cup of tea on a rainy afternoon, comforting and inviting. "I've always been fascinated by those majestic creatures. Did you know that the average human is more likely to be killed by a falling coconut than a shark?"

My mind raced as I tried to keep up with Arthur's sudden barrage of facts. It was clear he had a deep love for these predators of the deep, and I couldn't help but be charmed by his passion. As we delved further into the topic, I found myself smiling more and more at his excitement. The way he spoke about sharks with such affection and admiration was like nothing I had ever heard before.

Arthur leaned back in his chair, a knowing smile playing on his lips as he listened to me share my favorite shark trivia. Inwardly, I was kicking myself for not preparing more. I hadn't expected to find someone as enamored with these creatures as I was, especially not a well-known YouTuber like him. It was like he had peeked into the secret corners of my soul and found the one thing that truly made me tick.

"So, Y/n," Arthur began, his tone smooth and curious, "What sparked your interest in sharks?"

I took a deep breath, ready to dive into my lifelong obsession. "Well, it all started when I was a kid. My granddad used to take me to the aquarium every summer. There was this massive shark tank, and I was just captivated by them. They're so misunderstood, you know? They're not mindless killers, they're just doing their thing in the ocean, keeping the ecosystem in check."

Arthur nodded eagerly, his eyes never leaving mine. "Absolutely. And what's your favorite species?"

The question caught me off guard, but I replied without hesitation, "The thresher shark. They're so elegant with their long tails. It's like watching a ballet dancer underwater."

Arthur's eyes widened in surprise, and a grin spread across his face. "Thresher sharks? That's a unique choice. They're quite fascinating indeed."

*****

In the midst of our shared enthusiasm, Arthur's thoughts veered inward. He couldn't believe the person he was talking to was not only beautiful but also shared his obscure interest in sharks. It was like finding a unicorn in a bustling London street. He had always appreciated a good-looking person, but to find someone as pretty as Y/n who also loved the same quirky things he did? It was almost too good to be true.

Isaac, ever the observant one, couldn't help but tease his friend. "Arthur, it seems like you've found your soulmate here," he said with a smirk, interrupting our shark-filled discussion. "The only thing that would make this better is if she was into chess too."

The room grew quiet for a moment as Arthur's cheeks flushed a faint shade of pink. "Well, as it happens," I began, a playful smile forming on my lips, "I've been playing chess since I was eight. My dad taught me, and it's been a bit of a family tradition."

Arthur's jaw practically dropped. "No way," he exclaimed, his voice filled with disbelief and excitement. "That's incredible. I've been playing since I was about the same age."

The energy in the room shifted as the three of us swapped stories about our chess triumphs and defeats. Arthur's passion was contagious, and before I knew it, I was sharing tales of late-night tournaments and the thrill of capturing a king with an unexpected move. His eyes lit up with every detail, and I felt a flutter in my stomach as his gaze held mine, as if we were the only two people in the room.

Isaac couldn't resist the urge to stir the pot further. "So, Arthur," he said with a mischievous glint in his eye, "are you going to challenge our shark-loving, chess prodigy to a match?"

The tension in the room thickened as Arthur's cheeks grew a deeper shade of pink. He cleared his throat, trying to play it cool. "Well, I wouldn't want to impose, but if Y/n is up for it, I'd be more than happy to have a friendly game."

Isaac couldn't contain his laughter. "Oh, come on, Arthur. You're practically drooling over the board at the thought of it."

I blushed, a little overwhelmed by Arthur's intense stare but also thrilled by the challenge. "I'd love to," I said, trying to sound casual despite the racing of my heart.

Isaac leaned back in his chair, grinning like a Cheshire cat. "Well, it looks like we've got ourselves a date, folks. Arthur, you're on."

*****

The podcast went on, but the underlying tension between Arthur and I was unmistakable. Our shared passions had created a connection that neither of us had anticipated. The conversation shifted to other topics, but my mind kept wandering back to the thought of our upcoming chess match. Would it be a friendly game, or would the competition heat up?

Arthur's eyes met mine, and I felt a jolt of excitement. He was more than just a handsome face; he had a sharp intellect and a quirky charm that was hard to resist. As the podcast wound down, the nervousness I felt earlier had transformed into a thrilling anticipation of what lay ahead. His smile was disarming, and the way his hair fell over his forehead made my pulse quicken. I found myself trying to imagine what it would be like to sit across from him, each of us plotting our next move on the chessboard.

The podcast concluded with a flurry of thank yous and promises to keep in touch. After we signed off, Arthur turned to me, his eyes sparkling with excitement. "So, when do you think we should have this chess showdown?"

I laughed, feeling the same thrill he did. "How about this weekend? We could meet up at a café in the city, somewhere with a decent table and a relaxed atmosphere."

He nodded eagerly. "Perfect. I know just the place. It's a little hidden gem, great for a quiet game and a cup of tea."

The days leading up to the weekend felt like an eternity. I found myself replaying our conversation in my head, analyzing every word, every smile, every gesture. It was more than just a chess game; it was a chance to get to know Arthur better, to explore the depths of his personality as we navigated the strategic dance of pawns and rooks.

When the day finally arrived, I walked into the café with a mix of excitement and nerves. The smell of freshly brewed coffee filled the air, and the soft murmur of chatter created a cozy backdrop for our battle of wits. Arthur was already there, setting up the board with meticulous care. He looked up as I approached, his smile warm and welcoming.

"You found it," he said, standing to greet me. He pulled out a chair, and as I sat down, I noticed the way his hand lingered on the back of mine for a brief moment. It sent a shiver down my spine, and I couldn't help but wonder if he felt the same connection I did.

We began our game, the pieces moving with a rhythm that felt almost like a dance. Arthur's eyes never left the board, his focus unwavering as he considered each move. I watched his expressions shift, the intensity in his gaze as he tried to outthink me. His hands, strong and sure, caressed the pieces with a gentle touch that was surprisingly tender.

As the game progressed, the tension grew. We both knew we were evenly matched, and every move was a delicate balance of aggression and defense. The café around us faded away, and it was just us and the chessboard. Our conversation grew more personal as we shared stories from our childhoods, our families, and the moments that had shaped us into the people we were today.

When Arthur finally claimed victory, I couldn't help but feel a twinge of disappointment. But as he leaned back in his chair and offered his hand for a congratulatory shake, the look in his eyes told me that the real prize was the connection we had formed over the last few hours.

"Rematch?" he asked, his voice hopeful.

I smiled, placing my hand in his. "Always."

*****

The crowd in the café applauded our game, and as we packed up the chessboard, I felt a new chapter in my life unfolding. Arthur and I had found common ground in the most unexpected of places, and I knew that this was just the beginning of a beautiful friendship—or perhaps something more.

The next few weeks were a whirlwind of chess games and shared moments. We discovered more about each other with every pawn that was sacrificed and every king that was checkmated. Our friendship grew stronger, and our bond deepened as we learned to read each other's moves both on and off the board.

One evening, as the sun dipped below the London skyline, casting a warm glow through the café windows, Arthur reached across the table and took my hand. His eyes searched mine, and I knew what was coming.

"Y/n," he said, his voice thick with emotion, "I can't believe I've found someone who understands me like you do."

My heart raced as I looked into his eyes, feeling the same vulnerability he did. "I know," I whispered. "It's like we're two lost souls who found each other in the most unlikely of places."

He leaned in, and our lips met in a soft, lingering kiss that seemed to hold all the promise of the future. The chessboard was forgotten as we realized that sometimes, the most beautiful connections are found in the most unexpected places. Our love for sharks and chess had brought us together, but it was our shared passion for life and the quiet moments between the moves that would keep us together.

As we pulled apart, Arthur took a deep breath and smiled. "Ready for the next game?"

I grinned back at him, feeling more alive than I had in years. "Always."

*****

@gvf23

@xxkatxgracexx

[the-grand-av3]

Hey Alastor, what made you decide to join the Vee's?

Well, my anonymous friend, Box here-

Vox.

-Was an old pal of mine since he had faceplanted in this hellhole! Being such a good friend of mine, I couldn't help but to join him on his... eccentric goal to rule Pride. Such passion from someone who had passed on topside being my age inspired me. And I would hate to see Podcast be beaten up by some sinner on the streets.

You told me you believed in my idea!

Who? When? What? I don't know what you're talking about chum.

Eventually, Valentino and Velvette rolled around, respectively. I was hesitant to welcome in new allies. Four is just asking for trouble, and they wanted to change my name to Venison! Alas, despite all these flaws, they proved themselves quite the joy to be with.

Aw, that's actually pretty nice, Al.

However, my decision is questioned at times..

WH

Toodle-loo!

[autisticempathydaemon]

Hi hiii!! :DDD Doing this bad boy to see what happens. >:333

What song are you fixated on at the moment? What lyric or verse, and why? Rule 34 and Dinner and Diatribes. I don't know. Something about the just barely masked tension in both those songs, the way they both fit so well with characters/ships/dynamics I adore, and their general energy and instrumentation SINGS to me. <3 <3 <3. I may not listen to them as often as others but they are my entire brain constantly. Favourite lines from both are: "You look so good There on your knees Such a good girl knows how to please Look at me look me in the eyes Forget yourself, surrender your mind" - Rule 34 (Mostly for the visuals and the change of voice) And "I knew it from the first look of The look of mischief in your eyes" - Dinner and Diatribes (This line sets the tone of the entire song so well, the visual is so interesting and the way it's sung is so intimate in a way I cannot describe. Literally so good.)

What is your Enneagram type? 4w5 :3.

Do you love gargantuan Youtube video essays, and if so, which is your favorite and why? I fucking love them so bad <3. I think currently the Lightlark and Nightbane ones by KrimsonRogue are really good. Just... so much content, and also writing advice, and also dying inside listening to a review of a cringe book. Literally sustains my life.

Tell me about your childhood imaginary friend. I didn't really have them in the traditional sense, but the closest things I had was imagining chatting with or interacting with characters I liked from shows, especially once I found visual novels XD. And that evolved into characters running around in my brain and now I am a writer. :P So. These bitches clawed their way into my head at age 10 and never left.

What is your go-to way to fall asleep? Rain sounds. Storm sounds. Wind sounds. Especially if they just come from outside but I also do just put them on on my computer and turn off the screen often, letting them play on the stereo. :P

If you had to change your name, what would it be, and why? (In tandem, if you have changed your name, why did you pick that one?) Names are fucking weird man. I am currently in the process of reconsidering mine, and I am starting to like the idea of something more wacky, and star themed, or snow themed. :P I don't know if I'd like it long term but Redacted and DnD have very much warmed me up to names like that lol.

What is your favorite of Redacted’s audios, and why? Why must I chose one? You're so mean. Uuuuum... Deferred Judgment methinks. It shows a lot of Vega's softness and even some selflessness, while also a bit of the risk that his mission entails and MAN- THE EMOTIONAL IMPACT WHEN IT CAME OUT WAS SO MUCH. I hated it way back when but damn... it was really good. Still is. Cannot wait to see him again. Miss him real bad.

What Redacted boy holds no appeal to you, and why? Like, not the one you hate but the one who you don’t get the hype for. (I won’t judge, I promise.) Um... Guy, Ollie, NICK. OH GODS NOT NICK. And most of the fooliverse boys besides Milo. I am not exactly the type for sweet boys. I like some of them but their chaos or overt sweetness is... too much.

Tell me about that one book/movie/tv show you know all the words to. Can't say I have gotten that obsessed with media like that sadly. I am more of a Podcast/ASMR/Audioplay/Music person buuuut... hm... I mean- does a book I'm writing count??? I have quite a bit of the words of that thing up in the noggin often. It's not done yet but :P.

Which Redacted boy are you platonically attracted to? Like- forget dating, which dude do you want to be your best friend? Oh man. Damien. He is super similar to me in his passion and his love of learning and his general personality (minus the anger, that I am less prone to.) And the other boys up on top of my list I am more queerplatonic about so. :P

Do you have a go-to thing you ramble about when you’re tired, and if so, what is it? (For example, my boyfriend knows I’m ready to sleep when I start talking about space.) Oh no I will ramble about anything at any time. <3 <3 <3. I am not well ever <3.

Tell me your go-to gas station and drink combo. Spicy or Soup chips (Salt and Vineger, Chili/Cheese, etc), often Doritos or Cheetos (or Hickery Sticks if they have them), and either mineral water or an orange Soda/Slushy. And if it's cold I often go chips, sour candy and hot cocoa <3.

Tell me about your favorite playlist at the moment.  Hozier's Unheard and Wasteland Baby. Both have songs I utterly adore.

What’s your guilty pleasure media, and why? None. I feel guilty about nothing that I consume <3 <3 <3.

And whatever else you think tells me about who you are! I am a lover of art and the arts, and am actually studying art currently for my major. I would consider myself very much Vampiric in some ways (My disconnect in the way I write/speak from a specific time period or place, humanity is familiar but also fucking weird, the sun burns, I'm dramatic and want the fashion to prove it, blood good (no I won't explain) etc.), and I am a weird philosophical bastard who likes to make characters out of vague concepts, and then explore them to their most painful depth. Also varied morality and/or moral quandaries are very important to me. Morality is a weird soup and I like to play with it. (Ironic since my own morals are so strict and fixed, and yet I love writing characters who have different ones.) Aka Evil Bitches Good. And also I am one of them (if only as a writer. Love writing cruel angst to hurt my friends and characters with <3 <3 <3.) Anyhow that's all for me for now. <3 <3 <3 (Hope this is not too obscenely long.)

Pssssst- .3. Hellooo- I submmited a matchup thing but I think I did an oopsie XD. I'm an Enneagram 5w4 but I think I flipped them. So- just saying that. If it changes anything lol- My baddd- I just noticed when thinking on it. :P

Hmm, this enneagram type is characterized as creative, intelligent, and stubborn, with something to prove to the world- which tracks as you relate to Damien. With that in mind, who else could I pair you with but Huxley?

Huxley is a kind, patient, go with the flow kind of guy but not too silly which you said you don’t vibe with. You give me the impression of an insular, cerebral person, someone with a lot of ideas and thoughts that need to be finalized and put on paper, and Huxley seems like a good partner to help with that, to be your rock (ha) and help you keep those trains of thought on track while also being vocally supportive and hyping up your work the whole time. He’s sweet to you but not so sweet he doesn’t love you and your love of villains and their fucked-up deeds.

And it’s a wonderful love Huxley gives you every day, with the sturdy support and cool shade of a great tree. When you’re studying or doing schoolwork, he’s always there bringing you water or food, massaging your shoulders if you’ve been slouching. He listens to your rambles with rapt attention and affection, retaining every detail. He is your beta reader and biggest fan. He drives you to and from school with a thermos of homemade hot chocolate because his leagues is better than the store-bought stuff, and he won’t let you forget it.

Song:

And I remember being younger and my mother told me the truth/ Find someone who grows flowers in the darkest parts of you/ Take heed when things get hard and don't you ever turn around/ You'll find someone, someday, somewhere that grows you to the clouds

I feel like this song choice needs no explanation. One, the vibes are kind of just right if you’re a Hozier fan; the folk-y, country-like longing is just what the matchmaker prescribed (the matchmaker being me). Two, it’s delightfully charming and ironic given your dislike of the sun and the pet name of Sunflower I will soon have him give you.

Runner-ups:

Cam is a fun runner-up for you because I think he, as a therapist, would have a lot to contribute to your writing and dissection of villains along with the empathy to see the depth and dimension you want to give them. Lasko is another runner-up I like given how much you relate to Damien, because Damien/Lasko has always struck me as a darling pair, two sides of the same coin.

Bonus: (For you, my one hundredth match-up~)

“Sunflower…”

“Fifteen more minutes, Hux; I’ve almost figured this out.”

“You said that forty-five minutes ago, baby,” Huxley says with a soft, warm laugh and big, warmer hands on your shoulders, gently turning your chair around. “It’s time for bed.”

“But my chapter-“ you say with a tone you won’t admit has a hint of a whine.

“Will be there tomorrow,” he interrupts, taking your hand and gently tugging you out of your chair against your weak protests. “And you’ll be able to write and edit it even better once you’ve slept.” You fall into the bed with a fwump, a deep sigh, and a muttered stream of thought falling out your lips like the air out of a balloon. The earth elemental can pick out odd, familiar words in the ramble like “heart”, “stars”, and “Vega” and chuckles as the stream peters off into slow breaths and soft snores. Huxley queues up a familiar YouTube video on the tv, a ten hour loop of light rain showers, and places a blanket over your sprawled, sleeping body.

“Good night, Sunflower,” he says softly, pressing a light kiss on the top of your head before climbing into bed beside you, turning off the light with a fond, content smile.

Read this post and send me an ask if you’d like a match-up of your own! 💌

[thenightfolknetwork]

Hello,

I'm a musicaly inclined merperson. This isnt normally a problem undersea, but . . . I like the violin, and it doesent like the water. . . It wss quite a feat getting one. And keeping it dry. Old wood n all that.

I've taken to practising in shallow rivers here and there. And, unfortionately, caused somewhat of a scandal in the sapio community. Since I, as most merfolk do, not wear a shirt. This has turned out to be a big coultural "no-no" topside.

I hope I do not need to state the obvious; we are not indecent, we just do things differently. Which is why I stay midrif down in the water. And of course cover up any particularly sensitive parts above that in our traditional way.

Even so. There has stirred up "folk-lore" about me. As "the naked one" or "the fiddler in the river". . . And now I havent been able to practise because of. . . embarresment.

I love playing the violin. And, wearing a shirt could work, but getting me, it, and my violin is the tricky part. As my reputation is tarnished "for fear of drowning" its even harder hard to get the logistics together.

And well. I could find something the sapio's wear for water work. But Ive been informed by Drögr, a fellow water dweller with an even worse reputation than mine, that such garments have further "scandalous stigma" accosiated about them worn above water. Their norms are apparently very complex about such things.

Im confused. Have. . . Am I. . . Indecent?. Should I just quit my passion?. I've only played as deep into their public woods as I could get. And I fear the violin would get hurt by the damp from all the extra further travel. And I wish to stress, I wear "our" clithes. Nit just theirs.

Thank you in advance

Näck

You said it yourself, reader – you are not “indecent”, you just do things differently. There is no reason at all you should feel yourself bound by the norms of a culture to which you do not belong.

Social taboos around nudity vary wildly from culture to culture even in the sapio world. The people who object to your clothing choices are not referring to any objective reality, or even universal sapio custom. They are, in fact, so profoundly blinkered by their own cultural lens that they're incapable of accepting the existence of other social norms.

It hardly needs to be said that this rigid world-view is not going to serve them well in life. But that is not your problem. You aren't responsible for managing other people's feelings, and you certainly don't have to adopt their customs and habits just to make them more comfortable.

You aren't doing anything wrong, reader. The naked body is not inherently obscene, no matter what genus it belongs to. And you do not have to cover yourself for the sake of other people's shame.

[For more creaturely advice, check out Monstrous Agonies on your podcast platform of choice, or visit monstrousproductions.org for more info]

[consanguinitatum]

Trivia Night: the Takin' Over The Asylum Edition

So after finishing up with my previous post on a never-before revealed DT project during his drama school years, I went back through some of my old Twitter threads to see if there were any I missed posting here. I found quite a few of them, so I figured over the course of the next few weeks I ought to go ahead and post the rest of them here, too! Tonight we'll talk about a fan favorite -- Takin' Over The Asylum.

A month or so back, I was collating some theatre reviews and other tidbits about years which don't fit into my podcast years of c1987-c1992, and I ran across a few things of interest.

The first thing of interest was that Takin' Over The Asylum was rebroadcast on BBC2 in the summer of 1996. I'd always been under the impression it had only run in its entirety in 1994.

See?

from the Sutton Coldfield Observer · Friday, July 12, 1996

Did you know the series also ran in Canada in March of 1997, and in the US in October 2000 on BBC America?

That's cool enough, but it was the other thing which really piqued my interest. It was something really weird.

Did you know there were once plans to remake Takin' Over The Asylum into a major Hollywood movie? Well, I sure didn't! But it certainly appears to be true. By late October 1997, MGM Studios announced they had purchased the rights to make the film. They renamed it Fool On The Hill and plans were made for filming to begin in April of 1998. In this interesting interview in early 1998, David talked about the possible film. He said he would have played Campbell again "like a shot" if they'd offered it to him, and he thought if they did it right, it "could be a fantastic movie." But he wasn't considered.

So who WAS rumored to be cast? Oh, boy. Jim Carrey as Ready Eddie. Julia Ormond was being considered as Francine. .......and, um....Kevin Spacey as....um....who knows?

I say "who knows" because - in true Hollywood style - they started messing with the script. They rewrote it and rewrote it, moving it to an American setting. In this version, the main character remained fairly true to the original, as he was a window and aluminum siding salesman. However, in this rewrite, he isn't our familiar has-been radio DJ, but merely has a passion for radio. This fellow somehow discovers a defunct radio station in a small town mental institution and starts his own broadcasts, in the process "transforming the lives of the institution’s patients as well as those of the town’s more ordinary residents."

These rewrites apparently took so much time they caused delays in the filming schedule, so they ended up unable to start filming in April 1998. And by the time it was ready, Carrey wasn't available. So it sat on a desk.

Now if you'll recall, I mentioned David had been interviewed about the possible movie project in 1998. At that time, David said Campbell had been rewritten as a "black kid from the ghetto" (THEIR words, not mine). And - of course - David said he was not that character.

In 2001 - when they announced Spacey's possible casting - it appears the script must have been rewritten even more. Because here's the thing. In the 2001 version of the script, Spacey was supposed to be "a hospital administration officer who befriends the new 'inmate' in a bid to bring laughter to his patients." Which isn't at all what David has said in the 1998 interview.

To be fair, all of these descriptions are a bit unclear to me. They don't name the character who Spacey was supposed to play. So if Spacey was supposed to be hospital administration, was he a new character in addition to whoever played Campbell, or was Spacey supposed to replace Campbell? If the former, so be it....but if it was the latter I give out a hearty WTF and a double helping of ewwwww. That means Campbell's character had either been written out of the script or had been relegated to a less important role. And can you imagine any version of Takin' Over The Asylum without Campbell? Luckily all of this became a moot point because due to a myriad of issues the the film never got made. My personal opinion is THANK THE HEAVENS. It would've been a disaster, right? An absolute stinker. Because the only proper Takin' Over The Asylum is our Takin' Over The Asylum. With Campbell! Also, you all do know that Takin' Over The Asylum's original working title was Making Waves, right? It sure was! When I interviewed David Blair, the director of Takin' Over The Asylum, he told me so. Here's more proof:

I should point out the filming dates listed in the first blurb aren't completely correct. While I've no idea when filming started, Mr. Blair's given me a photo of the clapperboard for the last day of filming (which I won't publish, as he hasn't given his permission.) The clapperboard reads 29 October 1993.

Anyway, it's really cool that - even after years of doing research, it's fun and ridiculous and remarkable to learn things that are news to me. It's one of the most exciting things about doing this research!

[danpuff-ao3]

Ending Mutuals March on a very special note. PI, @perverse-idyll, my longtime writing crush, and now my friend.

It was love at first sight when The White Road was first posted. I can't remember when I first read it, but it was around the time it was posted for sure. And I've read that fic every year since. At least once a year, if not more. By the time I read When the Rose and the Fire Are One I knew it was true love!

PI's stories have been deeply meaningful to me for a long time. And I have always admired her skill. Prose? Gorgeous, stunning, perfect. With great knowledge and great passion she strings words into gorgeous treasures. Raw stones left to their rough glory, or shaped and shined as needed. Not only a gifted wordsmith, but a wise and empathetic person who understands the human condition, and the complexities of emotion. Someone with great love for beloved characters, but also great understanding. Love born of understanding, which is everything I long for!

We love the same characters, and the same OTP. She does such justice to these characters, and their dynamic. She's always written Snarry exactly how I needed it. I have treasured her works for many years, and they have been my favorites for many years. Of course, in those earlier days I was much too shy to let her know just what her works meant to me.

Then, in recent years, I had my first interaction with PI. On Reddit, of places. I recced one of her fics and she responded to it which blew my mind a bit, since her Reddit name isn't perverse_idyll, lol! So...I tried to be chill, which if you know me, you know how hard that is! Me, but an overenthusiastic fangirl trying not to scare off her faves, haha! If I remember correctly, I finally set about drafting a comment on The White Road not long after that. Long overdue that one!

Then...time went on. During a very rough period with an old fandom group, I turned to PI's works for comfort. And in November 2021, the same month I left that old fandom group, PI's episode on @fanficmaverickpodcast (Ep. 25 interview) was released!

I was over the moon excited to listen to it! But the sort of excited that meant I couldn't dive in right away. I had to run around and squeal a bit and settle myself down in order to listen. It is a long episode, two and a half hours long, but well worth it! The host, ChaosBlue, is a dear friend of mine now, and a very professional and charming host. And perverse_idyll was a fantastic guest, with so much insight and enthusiasm for fandom and for writing. 10/10 recommend it. I ran around and shared the episode everywhere I could.

And then...Reddit. PI shared the episode on Reddit, with encouragement for others to reach out to ChaosBlue to do their own episode. And...I did! God, that's a whole other post in of itself and how amazing ChaosBlue is, but basically...I felt pretty audacious! I had to work myself up quite a bit to reach out. And as hard as it was to reach out, I don't think I'd have found the courage to even think about it without PI's little note. It both inspired and comforted me. And doing my own interview for the podcast was such a great (and terrifying!) experience that I'm glad I did. (See: ep. 32 Interview)

From there...it came over time. PI was so kind and supportive about my interview. I found the bravery to reach out to her directly at some point. And though she is quite the busy lady, she is always so giving of her time and energy in responding when she can! PI is such an encouraging, generous, compassionate, supportive spirit. One I feel very blessed to know. She has so much clear respect and admiration for other creators. So much love and dedication to fandom, however busy or wild life may be.

Other fandom experiences reminded me of why they say to never meet your heroes. But PI spared me from being too wary of folk. PI is an excellent reminder that, sometimes, the creators we admire are even better humans.

PI's works were so meaningful to me for so long. And PI as a person has just as much impact! Thank you for being my friend, PI. Thank you for everything that you do. Thank you for all that you give to fandom; for all that you create, and all the support you give. And thank you most of all for being there for me. And showing such kindness and gentleness in times I needed it most, whether you knew it or not.

Here's to you, my friend. Time for me to wipe my eyes and drop some recs! Maybe by the end we'll have forgotten what an emotional mess I am LOL.

The Afterlight

Harry/Severus. Rated: E. Work in progress. Background case. Mutual pining. Friends with benefits. Denial of feelings. Angst. Hurt/comfort. Eventual happy ending.

Y'all cannot know how thrilled I was when PI posted a new fic. This one! And though it's only just begun, I already feel in my bones it will be a new favorite! PI as ever provides Snarry exactly the way I love it!

After surviving the Battle of Hogwarts, a long convalescence, and a short trial, Snape walks free and promptly vanishes from Wizarding society. Six years pass before he shows his face again. A lot can change in six years, and a romantically disillusioned and inebriated Harry hits Snape up for a friends-with-benefits arrangement. After all, they share an experience most people have never had: they both know what it's like to be dead. Their liaison works surprisingly well until Harry's reckless behaviour as an Auror leads to unethical practices and personal calamities, and things start to fall apart.

Candles Lit Against the Dark

Minerva/Wilhelmina. Minor Harry/Severus. Rated: G. Words: 13,585. Old friends. Postwar. Heavy drinking. Fond bickering. Snapecase 2023.

Many feelings. Very realistic and bittersweet. With all of the realism of life, for all of its rough edges, uneven paths, and the love found along the way.

It's been a few months since Minerva's retirement, and she'd promised Wil a dinner out. Before she knows it, friends start turning up on her doorstep and then at the pub, not least among them a certain spy who came in from the cold.

In Infinite Remorse of Soul | And Mine the Gall

Albus/Severus. Harry/Severus. Revenge. Obsession. D/s undertones. Afterlife. Incest (ish.) Dub-con. Twisted love.

I am obsessed. This is dark and fucky and weird and wonderful and gorgeous. The sequel, And Mine the Gall, features one of the lines that has most haunted out of every fic I've read. Love it love it love it!

Albus Dumbledore never makes the same mistake twice. Certainly not in love.

No Room for the Weak

Eileen POV. Rated: T. Words: 10,444. Dysfunctional family. Mindfuck. Pre-Snarry.

Love love love love love this. Some Snape family history. Eileen is great. Very fascinating look at the woman who bore and raised Severus.

There's a Boy Who Lived and a boy who didn't, and even a mother can't always tell them apart.

The Son

Regulus POV. Rated: T. Words: 5,422. Unhappy families.

First there were two sons. Then there was one.

Warm

Harry/Severus. Rated: E. Words: 11,323. PWP. Fluff & smut.

PWP feels wrong for this. So much sensuality and tenderness and good god the LOVE here. Also, I'm sorry, but Harry and Severus existing as themselves basically is plot, but I digress....PI says it's PWP so it's PWP. I'm not going to argue with her!

Severus still suffers the after-effects of Nagini's venom, especially in winter. Harry knows just how to warm him up.

When the Rose and the Fire Are One

Harry/Severus. Rated: E. Words: 81.619. Confinement. Dysfunctional Relationships. Spinner's End. Dubious consent. Sex magic.

Cool magic stuff. The best OC I've ever met (Odile, my beloved.) Ideas of Spinner's End and Eileen Snape that have lived in my head ever since. Big angst and fuckery. Great characters. Great relationship development. Everything is just...A+, chef's kiss, amazing.

Harry's haunted by guilt. Snape's warded by roses. Each must free the other in order to free himself.

The White Road

Lily POV. Harry/Severus. Rated: E. Words: 47,877. Afterlife. Romance. Redemption. Voyeurism. Incestuous vibes.

Longtime favorite. One of the first fics that fully blew me away. I read this and thought "this does not belong on the internet, this belongs on a bookshelf."

One day, comfortably set up in the afterlife, Lily Evans Potter switches on the telly and gets hooked on the Harry Potter show.

for an explanation about Mutuals March, or to figure out why i wrote you a thing, please check out this post.

[pink-lemonadefairy]

my 2024 ins & outs

ins

• reading three random articles a day on longform.org and memorising their contents.

• learning to love learning. and knowing it’s okay and not shameful to not know everything.

• researching topics for fun.

• creating art. with passion, free from the shackles of perfectionism and comparison. my art will be mine. if it’s good to me and makes me happy that is all that matters.

• accepting that i don’t have to do anything great or be anyone great at all for my life to have worth. it is already precious. precious and mine. i will live to enjoy and to experience.

• sewing cute patches onto various items of clothing!! i will personalise everything if it’s the last thing i do.

• slowing tf down. girl chill out. chillax. taking my time with myself and every day — i’m not part of a race, i don’t need to finish before everyone else.

• figuring out what routines and structures work best for me.

• discovering what clothes and makeup make me feel good.

• listening!! to!! podcasts!! and then reciting their contents to myself in a video so i can actually remember what i learned lol.

• strengthening my attention span and focus. goes hand in hand with limiting my screen time and quitting endlessly scrolling.

• journaling and writing in general. and not just journaling when i’m upset or angry or in a low period of my life, but journaling when i’m happy, neutral, indifferent, etc.

• memorising my favourite poetry.

• discovering new music and finding underrated artists. there are so many amazing musicians i discovered in 2023, so many talented people out there i need to find more!!

• going outside and being in nature!!!! seeing the world and seeing people even if it’s the little town i live in that i’ve walked 524 times. there is always something new to see.

• reading like a kid again. reading so so much. fiction and non-fiction.

outs

• feeling embarrassed over everything.

• not taking my vitamins and medication.

• self sabotage.

• going to bed at 12am.

• impulse buying & overconsumption. learning that i do not need everything i see on the internet and that taking care of the things i currently own is more fulfilling than buying something new.

• being stagnant. which usually stems from fear of failure and not being perfect at something in the first go.

• rotting in bed all day. i will always need a rot day during the week but one or two days is enough. my body needs movement.

• comparing myself and my life to others.

• not letting other people help me and thinking everyone is out to get me.

• letting myself miss out on experiences, opportunities, and learning and observing new things because i “don’t deserve it”

[harleiquina]

"May siblings be together, for that is the first law. May their union be true in anytime, because if they fight each other they'll be devoured by those outside" (José Hernández, "Martín Fierro").

So, today I found out that there was going to be a picket to support the WGA strike in my country (Argentina) and relatively close home. I wish I knew it sooner, I would've liked to join... but

I'm not a guild member (reason why I never received any kind of news about it) because...

Technically I'm not a writer (a professional, I mean. The ones that get paid to write) which leads me to...

I have a job that I hate and I can't just skip a random day because...

Even If they pay me very little, I am the breadwinner at home and every little cent counts... since...

My country's economy is a bloody mess that could be solved in over 50 years, if we are lucky.

So, here I am, making a post in solidarity to the Strike while waiting for the calls to start to ring. This might be a lenghty (and personal) one.

My journey into writing:

It was hard to answer the old question "what do you want to be when you grow up?" as a child because I wanted to be everything (except Doctor and Vet. I still don't like the idea of inflicting any kind of pain to heal someone -yes, I do know that anesthesia is a thing but it does wear off, did you know that? And painkillers too!).

At school I absolutely hated writing as homework, however I always ended up telling stories (my grandfather's folk tales) in the schoolbus for a limited audience. It wasn't until 7th grade that I realized that I was able to have original ideas and put them on paper... then I started to love writing and I would put my best effort into it. Yes, those were silly little stories usually prompted by whatever paragraph or sentence our teacher gave us (twice my aunts laughed at something I was proud of and I won't lie, it did hurt back then. Probably I would laugh now too). Still, coming up with something new was exciting.

In my senior year of Highschool I had "Applied writing" a subject that, supposedly, was there to teach us how to make our resumes, formal letters and other stuff that is "useful" in the work place or life itself. But that's not what I've learned.

I had Marcela Bullentini as my teacher. Someone that was quite scary with her desire for us to speak properly (eliminating the 'sh' sound from our bonaerense accent that changes words like "lluvia" -rain- to make it sound "shuvia", or our usual "perdón" -forgive me- instead of "lo siento" -I'm sorry- EVERYTIME she would answer with a mighty "only God forgives" to remind us that we were using the wrong term). After a few months of trying not to get on her bad side, I started to like her because I could tell that she loved writing and reading. And that's why she never gave us those boring lessons the other classroom's teacher (and school Principal, mind you) gave her students. She taught us the basics tools to write news, anecdotes, opinions and scripts for audio-drama (podcasts weren't a thing in 2009) and even TV (we did had to shoot a short film by the end of the year. Yes mine does suck). She is the reason why I considerated making a living out of writing. When the school year was coming to an end and it was time to enroll in College or the University and my classmates would ask "what are you going to study?" I answered them "I would like to be a Movie Director or Script writer". Guess what was their response... "Why?" usually followed by "that's too easy"

Too easy.

Too easy? How come? Why the Arts are "easy"? Why do you think that your dream of becoming a Sport's Journalist is better than mine wanting to tell stories? You'll still have to write something, you idiot!

Still, I did not followed my passion because making a living off the Arts is quite hard in here. You have to know someone who can "get you in" or beeing a professional boot-licker or work in the worst things ever, beeing completely stepped over and then you might ✨️MIGHT✨️ have a chance to do something true to yourself. And I wanted to be the argentinean Tim Burton, I knew nobody would've backed me up. So my aunt gave me an idea "why don't you try with Advertising? Many movie directors and writers began with Ads". So... off I went to Advertising School.

For those of you that don't know, Advertising is divided in 3 major branches: Accounting (the bridge between the Clients and the Agency), Media (the ones in charge of the budget and with the contacts to publish/play the ads everywhere) and Creativity (the ones that make the ads). I belong to the 3rd group and guess what? We're still thought off as an afterthought... as if making or writing for an ads campaing is something that is "easy", something that anybody can do. That we, the creatives, are just lazy people that every now and then receive a task, like anybody else would toss a bone to a dog, to "do something". To be fair, since I've never worked at an Agency I do not know if this kind of behaviour is present in them too... but all my classmates had this attitude and if they were meant to be the future of this profession, then I'm better off doing anything else but working as a Copywriter.

So here I am today, working as an Over the Phone Interpreter with over 20 stories locked in my head (and scribbled across many notepads and documents in my PC), too tired to write after work and trying not to sit on the computer on my free time because I spend the whole day, 5 days a week sitting in front of it. Still, sometimes I do get things done. My brain doesn't stop just because I have no time or because I'm tired. I know I'll get things done... eventually.

But Laurita, what does this have to do with anything?

This is my blog, I write what I want.

Context was needed.

As I said the whole "writing stories isn't serious enough" "it's too easy" "you can do something better" has been plaguing my life since day one. I was even able to see a glimpse of my favourite teacher's hopes and dreams for me crash in his eyes when I told him that I was studying to become an Advertising Creative. (I'm pretty sure all my teachers thought I would become one of them, or a doctor, or a lawyer, maybe even a scientist).

People!... Telling stories is important!

I dare to say that ours is the oldest profession (not the other one 😏) because whenever a lesson had to be taught, or something needed explanation, there was someone ready to tell a story about it.

Telling stories was never just entertainment. People seems to forget that even the silliest fairytale was meant to leave something behind with their audience. For ages my family and I wondered about the Magic Fish, a russian folckloric tale (a very lazy young man goes fishing in the ice for once in his life and catches the magic fish that promises that if he lets him go, he'll grant any wish he has. The guy ends up living in a palace made of gold and marrying a princess) and then it hit me: it was not the story itself... but the posibility of making many kids go fishing in the ice hoping to catch the Magical Fish that will grant them any wish. Well done, slavic people, well done 👏🏻👏🏻

I do not understand the constant dissmissal of our craft. Well... yes I do. People think it is easy because we make it easy for them. What's the point of creating something inaccessible? Why would anybody need to have a Post Doctorate in whatever field to understand a comic, a joke or a novel? We turn dozens (if not hundreds) of different concepts that fly through our minds into something understandable to anybody.

I watch Cinema Therapy where both hosts analize the psychology behind stories and characters. It is all in plain sight, we all know that Indiana Jones is resiliant, that Aragorn is a non-toxic man... but do you know how my family reacts when I tell them about any of their videos? "Isn't that reading too much into things? It's just a story, it's fantasy!"

It is a story, it is fantasy... but in order for it to work it has to be grounded in reality. Otherwise no-one would feel a thing for any of them!

And who does the dirty work? We do. We have to come up with real non-existent people so their fantastical escape is a good one. One that will make them forget their worries, one that might break their heart in a thousand pieces but carefully put it back with the warmest and stickyest-sweet glue you can find.

Oh! You know who killed the victim before the detective? That's because we feed you the clues so you can participate too.

Whenever my teammates in college had a "creativity attack" and started shooting ideas for ads, I'd step in to tell them why it would be impossible for us to use them (or at least why they didn't worked at all). They would get angry, of course, so I'd suggest them to do it themselves and what was their answer? "You do it, you are the creative one" So you make up your mind, buddy, either you trust me or not. You cannot have it both ways.

People doesn't realise the power that we hold, they think that we just come up with anything off of thin air. They ignore our investigations, how we observe the world and learn from it. They ignore our minds but get surprised even with the most obvious plot-twist (as it happened to mom, I told her something that was going to happen on her soap opera -so the bar was very low- and when it did happened she was like "how did you know?" I was tempted of answering with a "I'm a writer, I see what they are doing" but I just said "because it was obvious" If I actually tried to explain to her how I came up with that she would've thought that I needed help 😵‍💫). We accumulate knowledge like a dragon hoards gold. Anything is useful, anyone is useful. Don't make us turn you into a villan for our book or movie.

But still... we always get short-handed, stepped on, underappreciated.

We are the weirdos, the ones that live with their heads in the clouds, the "lazy" ones that spend their whole day on the computer "doing nothing" and can't close deals or use brute strenght to do their job. The ones that make up imaginary things hence things that have no value.

We know that it's not true. We know that we deserve better.

We had enough of that.

That's why we strike.

[swordbreakerz]

Day 15: time is long

I wrote a love letter about my weird timeline listening to friends at the table that is very rambly and doesn't have much of a point and is a little personal and I'm putting it under a readmore because I'm shy and going to throw my phone into the ocean after this posts

This July marks a full year since I got back into friends at the table. I watched the NNAF stream live, the first day at work since it was my last day (what were they gonna do, fire me?), and the second day at home, half dozing through the first three hours because I wasn't used to being up at 9am on a Monday. The Marielda one shot and stretch reward of a Hieron epilogue finally piqued my interest in that campaign, and I started Autumn in Hieron the next day.

It had been probably a year and a half since I'd listened to any day at that point, back in October 2020 (the 23rd, to be exact, according to my discord DMs) a friend of mine got me interested and I started listening to COUNTER/weight. I blew through it in a couple weeks, finishing it on November 17th, and it has the high honor of being one of the only pieces of media to make me cry after finishing it before I was medicated. I jumped straight into Twilight Mirage, but only made it about halfway before I quit the job I'd been working, and fell off of it, because I'd been using my 8hr shifts to burn through episodes. Despite quitting my job Again just as I was getting back on though, last year it stuck and I caught up with the entire backlog of podcast, including Bluff City, in maybe… four or five months if I remember right? It truly caught me by the throat.

Now, I'm fully caught up and staying on top of weekly releases better, being employed helps so I have a dedicated task to do while listening. It's become a regular fixture of my life and I've been thinking about voices defining a time in your life, and how summer 2022 will forever be my summer of friends at the table. The friends were my constant companion, I listened to the least amount of music that year than I maybe ever have, my spotify wrapped minutes on music were dwarfed by the nearly ~700 hours of podcast (spotify is easier to binge with at work, and I like stats).

This podcast reignited my creativity and drive after an art slump and brought me closer with one of my cherished friends, it taught me things about storytelling and political theory, it forced me to process old grief while sobbing for two hours straight after finishing Marielda. I could probably keep going, but being vulnerable makes me want to dig a very deep hole and lie in it forever, and honestly if any of the cast does see this I think I might die if I put anything too personal in it.

I'm not sure where the point I was leading to went. This podcast is like a reliable clock (hah) to me. It's my Friday work treat when seasons are live, Animal Out of Context can lull me to sleep in less than 30 minutes, Orbital made me laugh so hard I nearly cried in front of my coworker. Having something become such a north star in your life, especially something close to the ground like this, is fun and weird and scary all at the same time. I went from barely paying attention to ttrpg news to The PBTA Guy in my friendgroup in a matter of months. I still cry if I think about The Chime or Hella or Maelgwyn or Fero or Lem too hard. I'm getting a tattoo based on C/W at some point for gods sake.

Anyway. It's amazing how time and passion can worm it's way into your heart. Keep telling stories, keep loving eachother, I'm going to go dig a deep hole now, mwah

[torinnesilva]

a lot

this is a lot to express. i have been spending my days making coffee for the employees of google. i have learned how to make lattes, matcha teas, macchiatos, and numerous other beverages. it is a very suitable job, however ephemeral it may be. on the weekend i went to an incredible naturist resort, where i met so many people, including an effervescent 20-something year old girl named julia. there i also found one of the few naturist libraries in the country, which had many shelves of books on the topic. yet between these moments of laborious focus and libertine frolicking, i do have this ever-present substratic sense of discord within my life.

it is clear that this is related to the considerations being made to make me more comfortable fronting. there is the name, the clothing, the hair, the body aesthetics, all aimed at allowing me to walk into a life. however, the place where i exist keeps me for a very valid reason, to avoid the notable dysphoria and dissociation i experience when shoved into reality. this is the reality where my life and my body do not feel like they belong to me, but someone else. and in many ways they do. they belong to the person who was created to function in this world with this specific set of circumstances.

so herein lies my dilemma. as a half measure, my system as a whole is quite happy with the progress. acacia has room to express herself, and the host is more integrated than ever, pulling from pieces of us to diversify their life. really, it is i who is left in the lurch. to be blunt, this life is a beater. and that is really painful to acknowledge when we have done so much work to change internal perspectives to manifest a much more robust external reality. the above is certainly matching the below. and acacia has taken marvelously to this task.

but something else has happened, something that i daresay is quite beautiful. you see, the opportunity cost of doing anything but making swift progress on all this, is so incredibly on the forefront of my mind. this year, i have pushed so hard, and made it so far, and any slowdown from focusing on other things becomes so conspicuous by comparison. i yearn, i definitely yearn to continue at that pace. the reading, the writing, the traveling, the libraries and bookshops, the beaches and forests, the random serendipitous conversations with strangers, the earth-shattering insights from podcasts, all of these things shaped me this year into a completely evolved person, and i desire so ardently to continue all of this.

i am constantly reminded of the role that my soul is playing, of the cosmic game, of this reality being a vacation from the real one, as i so specifically thought when returning to the city from the redwoods. the emotion i feel around this is poignant, and between this yearning and the aforementioned dysphoria, i certainly still want to scream with passion. it goes without saying, that all of this is a lot.

i feel though as i rummage around my feelings, that acacia has helped me so much. she helps me because her unabashed sensuality transcends our dysphoria, or i might say, she is a mask for mine in a way that the host is not. and perhaps i yearn for the faster pace of the recent past, because acacia had more time to direct our life. in her absence, it seems to be only the host in complete disembodiment, or me in partial dysphoria. yet, i do welcome this challenge, because i recognize that i need to learn how to live too.

perhaps doing what comes most naturally to me, writing these thoughts down, is the best practice for me to progress in this way. so i am grateful i have this notion, energy, and opportunity. from there i hope to build up to the future that i visualize, one where i can galavant freely off to the forest, become one with it, and then impart its eternal wisdom to paper.

The lyrics of david beckingham have never been more relevant.

I want to be the forest I want to be the ground A solitary chorus I want to be the sound

imagine this. imagine a hidden library deep within the forest, the paper offspring of the trees nestled within them, guarded and nourished. the books, they are filled with the wisdom of the ancient trees. this is a place of healing. people travel far and wide to come to this place. to rest, to sing, to dance, and to hold these books up to themselves like a mirror, to reveal who they truly are, the elusive highest self that they have been seeking.

i am reminding myself now to pray to the Goddess, not only to tell Her i am open to receiving this space, but to receive the energy it makes me feel by asking Her to do Her will through me. what i must learn, is how to integrate these three lives i lead in how they relate to my worship of and service to Her. it has been acacia's focus, however this means that everything else is a distraction. i must keep focus even when immersed in the illusion. i must not pause my sacred dance as a flame in Her fire, a wave in Her sea, even when i look at myself and only see a stick in the mud. the stick can burn. the mud can flow.

somehow, the most macrocosmic revelations, make a lot feel like a little. and once again catharsis is reached and determination is renewed.

[avigellar]

fiiiinally freeing up some time to work on more of my muse intros—phew! hey, everyone—it's just me, ryan (h/h, 25+) back with an intro for another favorite of mine: avi gellar-cho! he's a muse i've picked up, dusted off, and reworked for this space, and i'm actually really stoked to dive into him. in my opinion, he's really cool. he's a voice actor and now podcast host whose based in korea solely because of his husband—it's complicated, but he's really happy!—and though it's taking him some getting used to, he's stoked to learn more about his husband's culture/home!

1.

avi gellar was born and raised in new york city. his parents operate a kosher bakery that's well-loved in their neck of the woods, and he grew up learning all of the family recipes. while it was never exactly a passion of his, he understood why his mom and pop loved to bake so much. he can taste the love in everything they prepare, and although he's over thirty now, he still feels their love, and they definitely still view him as their blue-eyed baby boy.

as a kid, he learned that he did extremely good impressions of his favorite cartoon characters, a skill that he spent far too much time honing, but it kept him out of trouble, so his parents didn't think much of it. that, and he often made them laugh with his impersonations, so they weren't complaining much either. they thought he was quite the character, and so did his peers at school, who revered him as something of a class clown. he dodged bullying by making everyone laugh instead.

it was a fluke chance, but when his dad saw a listing for an open call looking for voice talent for a new series to be launched on a kid's tv network, he told avi about it and avi auditioned, and out of hundred of others, he landed the leading role in the show—marking the start of his career. (side-note: canonically, i'm claiming that he was the og voice actor for aang of atla. why? because i can. 😆)

he's done tons of voice work over the years, and now, he hosts a podcast about voice work; one where he often has other voice actors from all over the world as guests to talk about their shared craft. as of now, he's living in south korea with his husband, who he met along the way after a previous engagement of his failed dramatically. it's daunting to be in a new place, especially one that's more socially conservative than new york, but he's excited to learn more.

2.

avi gellar is funny. that's something that everyone who meets him can say about him. even those who hate him can't deny that his quick wit and comedic timing aren't near-flawless. some say he could've genuinely gone into a career in comedy, but he refrained from that. he never wanted to be a comedian, and he doesn't like being in the spotlight that much. hiding behind animated characters is more his speed.

he's not only funny, but he's also a rock. he's solid. he works hard. he's someone who works within the realm of fantasy lands and animation, but in real life, he's got a practical edge about him that prevents his head from floating into the clouds too often. since he's been involved in the entertainment industry since childhood, he's got great business sense—typical capricorn sun—and makes strategic financial decisions. it's why his fortune from his youth is still supporting him. he's used it wisely.

avi is a work-horse. his willingness to work is immense, and he'll do all he can to ensure that he and his family are supported. he's not the type to sit idly by and hope other people make change in the world. no, he's someone who gets up and gets shit done. he can be a bit hard on those who don't choose to get up and do the work, but it's only because he genuinely doesn't understand that mindset.

want dad advice? avi's your man. he's still young, but there's a way about him that makes him feel genuinely wise beyond his years. that, and he's not afraid to be a critic; to be more stern with people he thinks can use a bit of a wake-up call. his paternal instincts are rather strong, to be honest, and so is his propensity toward using dad jokes.

3.

i'd love any and all plots for him, idk. i'm much easier to brainstorm with than lay out ideas, so let's work something out together! 🥰

[netflixonyourcouch]

I work to preserve culture. The biggest thing I hear from people, is why don't I actually apply all of this work in a meaningful way? I get asked why don't I start a podcast, why don't I do something with music. A friend of mine even wanted me to quit my job to manage a record store (that lasted less than a year before going out of business, but I digress).

I'll answer that for you.

It's because you don't get into this kind of work just because you have a passion for it. I preserve music at a pace that works for me. But the general pace at which you need to work to be actually successful is very fast. You have almost very little time to digest music when you have a backlog of 10 high profile albums to absorb and give you opinion on.

There's also a skill that comes with getting content in front of people's faces: How do you get someone to interrupt their day for you? How can I convince you that a particular song or album is worth you carving up some time in your schedule to listen to? Even music enthusiasts struggle with this all the time. The general public doesn't want to engage in music the way an enthusiast does.

So we're left with a dilemma: Do what I'm passionate about, but hate every second because releasing content feels like a literal rat race and no one is even paying attention anymore, or stay at my regular job and just do my passion on the side. The choice is very easy.

[badgerstep]

this is less of a statement about fanfic and more about art in general but

i think sometimes we get too obsessed with the idea of making “good” art, or “good” representation in art, and we lose sight of making honest art and honest representation.

if you are creating something that means something to you, that’s a genuine reflection of your joy, your pain, your thoughts, your beliefs, your experiences? that has value onto itself. it will be of service on its own.

and this doesn’t have to be a 1:1 thing, either. you don’t have to have lived through something in order to create empathetic, honest, meaningful art about it.

true story: years back i wrote a story about a character who experienced CSA. (it’s actually still on my AO3, but it’s QUITE old, hah.) i disclaimed that i was not a survivor of CSA myself, but i had always been passionate about helping survivors, ever since i was a kid and learned what CSA was. years later, i got a comment on that piece from someone who said that they were a survivor, and that this fic was helpful to them. they felt seen and heard and supported by it.

at the time i wrote that piece i didn’t remember any of my own trauma and was writing from the perspective of someone who hadn’t gone through it, but i was still able to create something that was true and honest because i had listened to CSA survivors before me.

the same was true for writing a story about a trans protagonist before i had realized i was trans myself. at the time i disclaimed that i was a cis person and that some of my language may not have been accurate, but because i had listened to trans people before me while i wrote, i had written something that was true. i got two separate comments from people at different times who told me my story helped them realize they were trans and/or nonbinary. just because at the time the experience wasn’t necessarily mine, at least not knowingly, didn’t make it an untrue or dishonest story. it connected with people in a deep, meaningful way.

all this to say: you don’t have to hashtag-own-voices all of your work for it to be true. and you don’t have to be the best, most skilled writer in the world for your art to mean something to someone. you don’t have to worry so much about numbers on ao3 or tumblr. make stuff that matters to you, and the people who need it most will find it. (and this goes for anything - drawings, music, podcasts, crafts, anything. if it matters to you, it will find the audience it’s meant for.)

i work in a creative job irl and my boss once wisely told me, “when i’m totally at my wits’ end and there’s just no more time to work on something, i just have to put it out there and i say, ‘let this be of service.’ just that. you just let it go and hope that it’s of service to somebody.“

i think that’s good advice. when you need to let it go, let it go, and let it be of service. if it’s coming from your heart, it will be.

[daphnedauphinoise]

Favorite resources to stay up to date and learn new things? :)

There is no bigger hobby that I enjoy as I do learning about things. I don't think there is any necessity for me to talk about the importance of education but if you didn't know, staying educated therefore cultured is vital in any level up and hypergamy journey and for yourself. You know those people who you meet and their eyes light up

Some topics that interest me that may interest you:

History of Fashion, Fashion Politics and Fashion Desgin 

British History 

Religions

Wars and Heros

 Documentaries

The D in Daphne is stands for Documentaries. Pretty much everything I know comes from documentaries. Documentaries are tricky because a lot of them can be extremely biased and just bad in general. You can get them on Netflix or on Youtube 

Wikipedia

I know the general advice is to stay away from wikipedia but I don’t think that advice stands anymore seeing how far the site has come since it’s early days. I go to wikipedia for pretty much everything and I don’t think I will ever quit. Wikipedia is just an online ecylopedia, it is acessible to everyone with an internet connection. Free education/ more accesible education is one my biggest passions and it is something I 100% stand with and I cannot thank the creators of the site enough for their services. You can literally learn anything and everything on here and you get very detailed, referenced information for comepletly free. Like I said, wikipedia is a great starting point whenever you are learning about something new and sometimes the content can be hard to digest but that just means that is thorough.

Youtube

God bless the internet man. For all of it’s pitfalls, it has made education extremely acessible to the masses. Youtube is a gold mine for visual leaners and I find that information is more digestable when someone else is telling you it. My personal heros are Indian teachers and professers on the sit who are just magic at what they do and everything they teach gets stuck in my head far quicker.

Khan Academy: Great for highschool to early years on university, various topics, espcicially good for maths and science 

Crash Course: Literally every topic ever, videos are usually ten minutes, very visual with fun animation.

C.G.P. Grey: Focus on philosophy, politics and history. 

New Economic Thinking : Experts discuss current economic happenings.

The Pursuit of Wonder: Philosophy and Litertaure.

Broey Deschanel and Lessons from screen play : Film and Film Analysis 

Classics Explained: Classical music explained. 

Podcasts 

I have recently been getting into podcasts and they are a very good way of getting information in and learning something new.  You can find a podcast on pretty much everything . Here are a few I reccomend:

BBC Earth 

Ologies

Let’s Talk about Myths 

The Business of Fashion

The Partially Examined Life 

The Dropout 

Magazines and Journals

Finance & Current Events 

The New York Times

The Wall Street Journal 

Financial Times

The Economist 

Bloomberg

MIT Review

New Scientist 

Society 

Tatler 

Tatler Asia 

Vogue 

Town and Country 

Haper’s Bazzar 

I read others but this is already too long. Honestly the best way to learn is to just search. It really is easy. If you don't understand something, what I like to do is serach whatever the topic is but for dummies or add for kids at the end.

This next bit is for the anons who I know will come and ask me what to learn, I think that there is this obstentanious need to good at everything and learn about everything ever but that is not true. You are fully allowed to be beginner in a subject, you are allowed to only care about certain topics and you are allowed to drop what you are learning if you have had enough. There is no right and wrong and other people’s ditaction on what you should learn is not worthing listening to. There is no need to be a fully fledged Scholar on any subject matter. I think there is this push to learn about certain things because ‘they are better’ which in turn supposedly makes you better than everyone else. Bullshit and classist. Whilst they are good subjects to learn in their own manner-  learn about whatever niche thing you want to learn about. It is more refreshing  to listen to someone talking passionately about different types of Amphibians or wallpaper then it is to listen to the same route learnt rejuertated Art History blabber. Any knowledge is good knowledge and education is the one thing that will never fail you.

Stay educated,

Daphne xoxx

[transgenderteensurvivalguide]

“Elliot Page doesn’t remember exactly how long he had been asking.

But he does remember the acute feeling of triumph when, around age 9, he was finally allowed to cut his hair short. “I felt like a boy,” Page says. “I wanted to be a boy. I would ask my mom if I could be someday.” Growing up in Halifax, Nova Scotia, Page visualized himself as a boy in imaginary games, freed from the discomfort of how other people saw him: as a girl. After the haircut, strangers finally started perceiving him the way he saw himself, and it felt both right and exciting.

The joy was short-lived. Months later, Page got his first break, landing a part as a daughter in a Canadian mining family in the TV movie Pit Pony. He wore a wig for the film, and when Pit Pony became a TV show, he grew his hair out again. “I became a professional actor at the age of 10,” Page says. And pursuing that passion came with a difficult compromise. “Of course I had to look a certain way.”

We are speaking in late February. It is the first interview Page, 34, has given since disclosing in December that he is transgender, in a heartfelt letter posted to Instagram, and he is crying before I have even uttered a question. “Sorry, I’m going to be emotional, but that’s cool, right?” he says, smiling through his tears.

It’s hard for him to talk about the days that led up to that disclosure. When I ask how he was feeling, he looks away, his neck exposed by a new short haircut. After a pause, he presses his hand to his heart and closes his eyes. “This feeling of true excitement and deep gratitude to have made it to this point in my life,” he says, “mixed with a lot of fear and anxiety.”

It’s not hard to understand why a trans person would be dealing with conflicting feelings in this moment. Increased social acceptance has led to more young people describing themselves as trans—1.8% of Gen Z compared with 0.2% of boomers, according to a recent Gallup poll—yet this has fueled conservatives who are stoking fears about a “transgender craze.” President Joe Biden has restored the right of transgender military members to serve openly, and in Hollywood, trans people have never had more meaningful time onscreen. Meanwhile, J.K. Rowling is leveraging her cultural capital to oppose transgender equality in the name of feminism, and lawmakers are arguing in the halls of Congress over the validity of gender identities. “Sex has become a political football in the culture wars,” says Chase Strangio, deputy director for transgender justice at the ACLU.

(Full article with photos continued under the “read more”)

And so Page—who charmed America as a precocious pregnant teenager in Juno, constructed dreamscapes in Inception and now stars in Netflix’s hit superhero show The Umbrella Academy, the third season of which he’s filming in Toronto—expected that his news would be met with both applause and vitriol. “What I was anticipating was a lot of support and love and a massive amount of hatred and transphobia,” says Page. “That’s essentially what happened.” What he did not anticipate was just how big this story would be. Page’s announcement, which made him one of the most famous out trans people in the world, started trending on Twitter in more than 20 countries. He gained more than 400,000 new followers on Instagram on that day alone. Thousands of articles were published. Likes and shares reached the millions. Right-wing podcasters readied their rhetoric about “women in men’s locker rooms.” Casting directors reached out to Page’s manager saying it would be an honor to cast Page in their next big movie.

So, it was a lot. Over the course of two conversations, Page will say that understanding himself in all the specifics remains a work in progress. Fathoming one’s gender, an identity innate and performed, personal and social, fixed and evolving, is complicated enough without being under a spotlight that never seems to turn off. But having arrived at a critical juncture, Page feels a deep sense of responsibility to share his truth. “Extremely influential people are spreading these myths and damaging rhetoric—every day you’re seeing our existence debated,” Page says. “Transgender people are so very real.”

That role in Pit Pony led to other productions and eventually, when Page was 16, to a film called Mouth to Mouth. Playing a young anarchist, Page had a chance to cut his hair again. This time, he shaved it off completely. The kids at his high school teased him, but in photos he has posted from that time on social media he looks at ease. Page’s head was still shaved when he mailed in an audition tape for the 2005 thriller Hard Candy. The people in charge of casting asked him to audition again in a wig. Soon, the hair was back.

Page’s tour de force performance in Hard Candy led, two years later, to Juno, a low-budget indie film that brought Page Oscar, BAFTA and Golden Globe nominations and sudden megafame. The actor, then 21, struggled with the stresses of that ascension. The endless primping, red carpets and magazine spreads were all agonizing reminders of the disconnect between how the world saw Page and who he knew himself to be. “I just never recognized myself,” Page says. “For a long time I could not even look at a photo of myself.” It was difficult to watch the movies too, especially ones in which he played more feminine roles.

Page loved making movies, but he also felt alienated by Hollywood and its standards. Alia Shawkat, a close friend and co-star in 2009’s Whip It,describes all the attention from Juno as scarring. “He had a really hard time with the press and expectations,” Shawkat says. “‘Put this on! And look this way! And this is sexy!’”

By the time he appeared in blockbusters like X-Men: The Last Stand and Inception, Page was suffering from depression, anxiety and panic attacks. He didn’t know, he says, “how to explain to people that even though [I was] an actor, just putting on a T-shirt cut for a woman would make me so unwell.” Shawkat recalls Page’s struggles with clothes. “I’d be like, ‘Hey, look at all these nice outfits you’re getting,’ and he would say, ‘It’s not me. It feels like a costume,’” she says. Page tried to convince himself that he was fine, that someone who was fortunate enough to have made it shouldn’t have complaints. But he felt exhausted by the work required to “just exist,” and thought more than once about quitting acting.

In 2014, Page came out as gay, despite feeling for years that “being out was impossible” given his career. (Gender identity and sexual orientation are, of course, distinct, but one queer identity can coexist with another.) In an emotional speech at a Human Rights Campaign conference, Page talked about being part of an industry “that places crushing standards” on actors and viewers alike. “There are pervasive stereotypes about masculinity and femininity that define how we’re all supposed to act, dress and speak,” Page went on. “And they serve no one.”

The actor started wearing suits on the red carpet. He found love, marrying choreographer Emma Portner in 2018. He asserted more agency in his career, producing his own films with LGBTQ leads like Freeheld and My Days of Mercy. And he made a masculine wardrobe a condition of taking roles. Yet the daily discord was becoming unbearable. “The difference in how I felt before coming out as gay to after was massive,” says Page. “But did the discomfort in my body ever go away? No, no, no, no.”

In part, it was the isolation forced by the pandemic that brought to a head Page’s wrestling with gender. (Page and Portner separated last summer, and the two divorced in early 2021. “We’ve remained close friends,” Page says.) “I had a lot of time on my own to really focus on things that I think, in so many ways, unconsciously, I was avoiding,” he says. He was inspired by trailblazing trans icons like Janet Mock and Laverne Cox, who found success in Hollywood while living authentically. Trans writers helped him understand his feelings; Page saw himself reflected in P. Carl’s memoir Becoming a Man. Eventually “shame and discomfort” gave way to revelation. “I was finally able to embrace being transgender,” Page says, “and letting myself fully become who I am.”

This led to a series of decisions. One was asking the world to call him by a different name, Elliot, which he says he’s always liked. Page has a tattoo that says E.P. PHONE HOME, a reference to a movie about a young boy with that name. “I loved E.T. when I was a kid and always wanted to look like the boys in the movies, right?” he says. The other decision was to use different pronouns—for the record, both he/him and they/them are fine. (When I ask if he has a preference on pronouns for the purposes of this story, Page says, “He/him is great.”)

A day before we first speak, Page will talk to his mom about this interview and she will tell him, “I’m just so proud of my son.” He grows emotional relating this and tries to explain that his mom, the daughter of a minister, who was born in the 1950s, was always trying to do what she thought was best for her child, even if that meant encouraging young Page to act like a girl. “She wants me to be who I am and supports me fully,” Page says. “It is a testament to how people really change.”

Another decision was to get top surgery. Page volunteers this information early in our conversation; at the time he posted his disclosure on Instagram, he was recovering in Toronto. Like many trans people, Page emphasizes being trans isn’t all about surgery. For some people, it’s unnecessary. For others, it’s unaffordable. For the wider world, the media’s focus on it has sensationalized transgender bodies, inviting invasive and inappropriate questions. But Page describes surgery as something that, for him, has made it possible to finally recognize himself when he looks in the mirror, providing catharsis he’s been waiting for since the “total hell” of puberty. “It has completely transformed my life,” he says. So much of his energy was spent on being uncomfortable in his body, he says. Now he has that energy back.

For the transgender community at large, visibility does not automatically lead to acceptance. Around the globe, transgender people deal disproportionately with violence and discrimination. Anti-trans hate crimes are on the rise in the U.K. along with increasingly transphobic rhetoric in newspapers and tabloids. In the U.S., in addition to the perennial challenges trans people face with issues like poverty and homelessness, a flurry of bills in state legislatures would make it a crime to provide transition-related medical care to trans youth. And crass old jokes are still in circulation. When Biden lifted the ban on open service for transgender troops, Saturday Night Live’s Michael Che did a bit on Weekend Update about the policy being called “don’t ask, don’t tuck.”

Page says coming out as trans was “selfish” on one level: “It’s for me. I want to live and be who I am.” But he also felt a moral imperative to do so, given the times. Human identity is complicated and mysterious, but politics insists on fitting everything into boxes. In today’s culture wars, simplistic beliefs about gender—e.g., chromosomes = destiny—are so widespread and so deep-seated that many people who hold those beliefs don’t feel compelled to consider whether they might be incomplete or prejudiced. On Feb. 24, after a passionate debate on legislation that would ban discrimination against LGBTQ people, Representative Marie Newman, an Illinois Democrat, proudly displayed the pride flag in support of her daughter, who is trans. Representative Marjorie Taylor Greene, a Georgia Republican, responded by hanging a poster outside her office that read: There are TWO genders: MALE & FEMALE.

The next day Dr. Rachel Levine, who stands to become the first openly transgender federal official confirmed by the Senate, endured a tirade from Senator Rand Paul about “genital mutilation” during her confirmation hearing. My second conversation with Page happens shortly after this. He brings it up almost immediately, and seems both heartbroken and determined. He wants to emphasize that top surgery, for him, was “not only life-changing but lifesaving.” He implores people to educate themselves about trans lives, to learn how crucial medical care can be, to understand that lack of access to it is one of the many reasons that an estimated 41% of transgender people have attempted suicide, according to one survey.

Page has been in the political trenches for a while, having leaned into progressive activism after coming out as queer in 2014. For two seasons, he and best friend Ian Daniel filmed Gaycation, a Viceland series that explored LGBTQ culture around the world and, at one point, showed Page grilling Senator Ted Cruz at the Iowa State Fair about discrimination against queer people. In 2019, Page made a documentary called There’s Something in the Water, which explores environmental hardships experienced by communities of color in Nova Scotia, with $350,000 of his own money. That activism extends to his own industry: in 2017, he published a Facebook post that, among other things, accused director Brett Ratner of forcibly outing him as gay on the set of an X-Men movie. (A representative for Ratner did not respond to a request for comment.)

As a trans person who is white, wealthy and famous, Page has a unique kind of privilege, and with it an opportunity to advocate for those with less. According to the U.S. Trans Survey, a large-scale report from 2015, transgender people of color are more likely to experience unemployment, harassment by police and refusals of medical care. Nearly half of all Black respondents reported being denied equal treatment, verbally harassed and/or physically attacked in the past year. Trans people as a group fare much worse on such stats than the general population. “My privilege has allowed me to have resources to get through and to be where I am today,” Page says, “and of course I want to use that privilege and platform to help in the ways I can.”

Since his disclosure, Page has been mostly quiet on social media. One exception has been to tweet on behalf of the ACLU, which is in the midst of fighting anti-trans bills and laws around the country, including those that ban transgender girls and women from participating in sports. Mississippi Governor Tate Reeves says he will sign such a bill in the name of “protect[ing] young girls.” Page played competitive soccer and vividly recalls the agony of being told he would have to play on the girls’ team once he aged out of mixed-gender squads. After an appeal, Page was allowed to play with the boys for an additional year. Today, several bills list genitalia as a requirement for deciding who plays on which team. “I would have been in that position as a kid,” Page says. “It’s horrific.”

All this advocacy is unlikely to make life easier. “You can’t enter into certain spaces as a public trans person,” says the ACLU’s Strangio, “without being prepared to spend some percentage of your life being threatened and harassed.” Yet, while he seems overwhelmed at times, Page is also eager. Many of the political attacks on trans people—whether it is a mandate that bathroom use be determined by birth sex, a blanket ban on medical interventions for trans kids or the suggestion that trans men are simply wayward women beguiled by male privilege—carry the same subtext: that trans people are mistaken about who they are. “We know who we are,” Page says. “People cling to these firm ideas [about gender] because it makes people feel safe. But if we could just celebrate all the wonderful complexities of people, the world would be such a better place.”

Even if Page weren’t vocal, his public presence would communicate something powerful. That is in part because of what Paisley Currah, a professor of political science at Brooklyn College, calls “visibility gaps.” Historically, trans women have been more visible, in culture and in Hollywood, than trans men. There are many explanations: Our culture is obsessed with femininity. Men’s bodies are less policed and scrutinized. Patriarchal people tend to get more emotional about who is considered to be in the same category as their daughters. “And a lot of trans men don’t stand out as trans,” says Currah, who is a trans man himself. “I think we’ve taken up less of the public’s attention because masculinity is sort of the norm.”

During our interviews, Page will repeatedly refer to himself as a “transgender guy.” He also calls himself nonbinary and queer, but for him, transmasculinity is at the center of the conversation right now. “It’s a complicated journey,” he says, “and an ongoing process.”

While the visibility gap means that trans men have been spared some of the hate endured by trans women, it has also meant that people like Page have had fewer models. “There were no examples,” Page says of growing up in Halifax in the 1990s. There are many queer people who have felt “that how they feel deep inside isn’t a real thing because they never saw it reflected back to them,” says Tiq Milan, an activist, author and transgender man. Page offers a reflection: “They can see that and say, ‘You know what, that’s who I am too,’” Milan says. When there aren’t examples, he says, “people make monsters of us.”

For decades, that was something Hollywood did. As detailed in the 2020 Netflix documentary Disclosure, transgender people have been portrayed onscreen as villainous and deceitful, tragic subplots or the butt of jokes. In a sign of just how far the industry has come—spurred on by productions like Pose and trailblazers like Mock—Netflix offered to change the credits on The Umbrella Academy the same day that its star posted his statement on social media. Now when an episode ends, the first words viewers see are “Elliot Page.”

Today, there are many out trans and nonbinary actors, directors and producers. Storylines involving trans people are more common, more respectful. Sometimes that aspect of identity is even incidental, rather than the crux of a morality tale. And yet Hollywood can still seem a frightening place for LGBTQ people to come out. “It’s an industry that says, ‘Don’t do that,’” says director Silas Howard, who got his break on Amazon’s show Transparent, which made efforts to hire transgender crew members. “I wouldn’t have been hired if they didn’t have a trans initiative,” Howard says. “I’m always aware of that.”

So what will it mean for Page’s career? While Page has appeared in many projects, he also faced challenges landing female leads because he didn’t fit Hollywood’s narrow mold. Since Page’s Instagram post, his team is seeing more activity than they have in years. Many of the offers coming in—to direct, to produce, to act—are trans-related, but there are also some “dude roles.”

Downtime in quarantine helped Page accept his gender identity. “I was finally able to embrace being transgender,” he says.

Page was attracted to the role of Vanya in The Umbrella Academy because—in the first season, released in 2019—Vanya is crushed by self-loathing, believing herself to be the only ordinary sibling in an extraordinary family. The character can barely summon the courage to move through the world. “I related to how much Vanya was closed off,” Page says. Now on set filming the third season, co-workers have seen a change in the actor. “It seems like there’s a tremendous weight off his shoulders, a feeling of comfort,” says showrunner Steve Blackman. “There’s a lightness, a lot more smiling.” For Page, returning to set has been validating, if awkward at times. Yes, people accidentally use the wrong pronouns—“It’s going to be an adjustment,” Page says—but co-workers also see and acknowledge him.

The debate over whether cisgender people, who have repeatedly collected awards for playing trans characters, should continue to do so has largely been settled. However, trans actors have rarely been considered for cisgender parts. Whatever challenges might lie ahead, Page seems exuberant about playing a new spectrum of roles. “I’m really excited to act, now that I’m fully who I am, in this body,” Page says. “No matter the challenges and difficult moments of this, nothing amounts to getting to feel how I feel now.”

This includes having short hair again. During our interview, Page keeps rearranging strands on his forehead. It took a long time for him to return to the barber’s chair and ask to cut it short, but he got there. And how did that haircut feel?

Page tears up again, then smiles. “I just could not have enjoyed it more,” he says.”