#and now I get to go to college... without the worry of crushing debt... without worrying if im sacrificing quality of life for my mom...

[merchantofwhispers]

[ I don't have any real family to share this with, so I'm going to share it here. I got accepted to a program that would let me get my associates for free. I haven't told my mother yet, I've just been sitting here basking in it. ]

[thefanficmonster]

Sign From The Past

Andrew/Abraham (The Dark Pictures Anthology: Little Hope) x Reader (Female)

Warnings: Spoilers for Little Hope, Swearing, Blood and Injury, Bus Crash (Mentioned)

Genre: Romance, A bit of Angst

Summary: Following the bus crash and the group of students and their professor getting stranded in the eerie town of Little Hope, Y/N and Andrew come to find out a lot about and themselves as in their thoughts and feelings as well as about each other. It does take a little push from the past to pass the threshold though.

Requested by 💞 Anon. Hi darling! Thank you so much for your lovely request, it was a real joy to write. Also thank you so much for your patience - I know the wait has been really long and I’m extremely sorry for that but I still hope you come across the fic and read it. If so, I hope you enjoy it! Love, Vy ❤

Y/D/N - Your Double’s Name (Same first letter as your name)

Y/N stands behind John and observes as her professor is attempting to wake up the possibly concussed boy sitting on the ground with his back against the roof of the flipped bus they had all been safely seated in less than ten minutes ago. Her classmate and best friend Taylor’s struggling to fetch even the tiniest possible signal with her phone held up in the air, muttering curses under her breath. Two more classmates are unaccounted for at the moment but that’s not what’s bothering Y/N the most right now - maybe it’s messed up, but it’s true. 

The girls main attention and worry is focused on the boy who’s still unconscious. The boy she’s praying will wake up soon.

Being the only one with a med major, Y/N was quick to tend to any external wounds such as the cut on Andrew’s forehead which was rather deep but nothing to get too worked up about. There was not much she could do without a med-kit which made her feel utterly helpless and useless while John continuously reassured her Andrew and the rest of them would all be ok.

Come on, Andrew. Don’t scare us like this

As if overhearing her thoughts, Andrew’s eyes started fluttering open, causing Y/N’s heartbeat to pick up, her legs automatically carrying her closer to him, ducking down in front of him to get a good look at him.

She’s the first person his gaze lands upon before fluttering over to John. His eyebrow seems to raise ever so slightly before he looks at Y/N again, “Y/N, what happened? Who’s that?“

Her heart dropped and so did the smile that appeared on John’s face as a result of Andrew’s consciousness returning.

Overhearing Andrew’s question, Taylor quickly comes over as well, ducking down next to Y/N. “Rise and shine, Andy. We’re stuck in a ghost town, this is no time to be taking naps.”

Andrew scoffs, looking at Taylor, “Maybe you could run that back a bit cause I have no idea where I am or what on Earth happened.” His eyes shift back to you, “Any explanation would be nice, Y/N. Even a shitty one.”

Y/N sighs, “We were going on a fieldtrip and our bus crashed. This is our professor,” she points to John and then to Taylor, “And this is our classmate. Two others are with us but we don’t know where they are at the moment.”

The boy stays quiet for a moment, his gaze distancing and becoming unfocused to the point of scaring Y/N but then he starts talking, focusing again, “You’re a med major, so doc can you please tell me why the hell I remember none of what you just told me?“

Even though the girl is rather shocked by his memory of her and her major, she hurries to recompose herself and reply, “You’re just concussed, Andrew. Don’t worry, you’ll be perfectly fine soon, nothing to panic over. I promise.”

Taylor snorts from next to her, cutting the tension, “Wow Andy, you know Y/N AND her major but you can’t even remember our names. Just wow!”

“Not everyone leaves the same impression on a person, Taylor.“ John says, looking between Y/N and Andrew knowingly.

“You got that one right professor.“ Taylor agrees, nudging Y/N’s shoulder with her own, sending a wink her best friend’s way despite the other girl desperately avoiding her gaze.

All she can really do is sit in the intense heat of her blush and hope it’s not as apparent as her crush on Andrew seems to be.

It’s gonna be one hell of a night, she thinks to herself.

If only she knew how right she was...

                                                            *  *  *

“Feeling any better? Any fatigue or nausea?“ Y/N asks Andrew as the two continue down the road, walking ahead of everybody else. This is a routinely question she’s been asking him every thirty or so minutes while hoping she wasn’t annoying him too much with it.

Luckily, he never made her feel like she was, always replying in a friendly, light-hearted manner and even with a hint of a smile, “No, I’m good, don’t worry.”

Right, as if Y/N had a switch to flip to turn her worry off. She’s always been the nurturing type. The one who always over-cares and is always over-kind. She’s been like that with everyone since forever. But with Andrew, though she refuses to admit it, it’s obviously a bit different and more intense.

Seeing as how she’s the only one he remembers, he’s been sticking by her side and gravitating towards her the whole night - much like she’s been doing as well. Little do they both know that even back on campus, in the gardens and the hallways of their college they’d somehow always end up finding one another and walking together to or from class. There are invisible magnetic forces between them, pulling them towards one another so subtly neither of them have noticed. Not yet, at least.

“Hey look! An old train station.“ Y/N points out, looking first to Andrew then turning around in search of the rest of their group members. Her heart drops when all her gaze lands upon is the thick fog that’s been following them everywhere they’ve gone so far and doesn’t seem to show any sign of thinning anytime soon.

Having noticed her mild distress at the absence of their professor and classmates, Andrew hurries to approach her, subconsciously resting a hand on her shoulder, “Hey, they’re probably right behind us, don’t freak out, ok?” His eyes stare into hers so convincingly that all she can do is nod. When she does so, he continues, “Ok, good. Let’s go into the station, see if we can find anything or anyone.” She nods again, praying the blush that’s appeared on her cheeks as a result of the physical contact isn’t visible in the faint light of the streetlight.

As the two turn to venture onward, Y/N nearly jumps out of her skin when she feels Andrew’s hand slide down her arm to take a hold of hers as if afraid he’d lose her in the dark. She tries not to pay too much mind to it and not read into it, biting her lip to suppress the involuntary smile that’s creeping up on her face.

Seeing this moment with the two so at peace and relaxed, the horrors felt mocked apparently and felt the need to intervene.

Just as the two students are about to pass the threshold into the station, a hand covered in cracked ashy skin takes hold of Andrew’s forearm, pulling him in the station.

And simultaneously into the past.

When him and Y/N come to they are shocked at the sight that greets them: themselves. The two of them are standing next to a horse carriage, wearing attire from centuries ago and speaking in hushed tones and whispers but loud enough to be understood at the distance they were at. Y/N and Andrew decide to stay quiet and avoid being spotted by them.

“Never have I thought I’d have to send you off such a way and for such a reason, Y/D/N.” The man who looks exactly like Andrew says, his head hanging low with disappointment, regret and sorrow.

“Abraham, listen to me, this is no fault of yours. You are doing what you think will keep me from harm and I’m grateful with all my heart. I just worry the Reverend will find out you had something to do with me...“

“I’d regret not a single thing even if he did find out.“ The man, Abraham apparently, cuts the girl - Y/D/N - off, his eyes coming up to meet hers again, his hand taking hold of hers. The girl looks around nervously as if to make sure she’s got permission to hold the hand of the man she clearly loves, but then just nods in gratitude.

“I’m forever in your debt, Abraham, thank you.“ She says, bowing her head now too.

“Do not thank me, Y/D/N, and do not speak such nonsense as debt. I would rather die seen as a betrayer of God than see you burnt at the steak or hanged. My lover is no witch and won’t be treated like one till the day I draw my last breath.“

With that Abraham and Y/D/N share one final hug before he helps her up on the carriage which takes off in a direction where Y/N and Andrew see nothing but darkness.

And just like that, the two present versions of those people, are put back where they belong - in the present, surrounded by fog and darkness as previously. The surroundings that previously gave them an uneasy feeling now make them feel comfort because of their familiarity.

“You ok?“ Y/N jumps when Andrew’s hand’s hold on her tightens ever so slightly as if to free her from the web of confusion and fear.

She nods then shakes her head but manages to let out an affirmative hum to reassure him. “You?”

Andrew repeats the same motion she did - a nod followed by a shake of the head, “Yes and no, if I’m being honest. And on the topic of honesty: I haven’t been at the peak of mine as of recent.”

Y/N’s eyebrows furrow, “What do you mean?“

The boy lets out a heavy sigh that is meant to prepare him for what he’s about to say. What he’s about to confess to. “There’s plenty of things I haven’t told you. Things I refused to tell myself too...”

“Andrew, sorry but, I’ve had it with puzzles and riddles all night long. Can you please be straight-forward, I promise I won’t freak out or anything.“

Despite still being hesitant on the matter, Andrew decides to listen to Y/N’s advice - or rather request - and nods before continuing, “You’re one of my best friends, Y/N, I hope you know that and I trust you and I care for you and...and I just tonight came to understanding that it was always something...more than a friend. More than a best friend. I’m sorry if this makes you feel weird or awkward or if you don’t feel the same way please don’t cushion the rejection or pity me. I just...” As he’s talking he makes the mistake of looking her in the eyes which are giving him the most unimpressed look which gets him to shut up asap.

“If you didn’t already have a head injury I’d smack you.“ She says, eyes narrowed, “Andrew, I’m sorry, but you have to be one of the densest and most oblivious guys I’ve ever met. Like, you’re up there at Daniel’s level when he refused to believe Taylor liked him back. That’s how high up you’re on the scale.“

Her words confuse him, leaving him to process all that she’s said until some type of realization hit him. Only one is turning up and he refused to believe it cause it seems so impossible to him.

“I like you too, you dumbass.“ She says, a smile on her face hiding the tons of exhaustion he’d been seeing on it for the past few hours.

“FUCKING FINALLY!“ The familiar voice of no one but Taylor arises from somewhere behind the couple who have now found themselves at a closer proximity than before, arms automatically reaching for the other to take them in their embrace.

Fucking finally indeed, Taylor.

[rootin-tootin-cum-shootin]

Inosuke College AU 

Word count: 1,350

Major: Kinesiology 

Minor: Psychology 

Sports: Judo, Rugby

Clubs: Tanjiro signed him up for a ceramics club, and he goes only to try and one up him (Which is not the point of the club at all smh) but he attends every meeting without fail.

He's that dude that walks into the lecture hall wearing the most outrageous and eye-catching outfits

You just can't help but see him and instantly know what he's like to talk to 

Neon orange athletic shorts with a hawaiian shirt so stereotypical it makes your eyes twitch in displeasure 

Add some burkenstock sandals worn with mismatched socks and you have Inosuke

Just by looking at him you know he is quite the personality to work with

And he is, but he is intelligent and definitely pulls his weight in projects

Will chastise his classmates if they get injured while doing the more active labs 

But he does that while tending to their injuries so you know he cares about their wellbeing

It's quite sweet of him! 

Well it would be if every 3rd word wasn't a swear

That doesn't mean he has terrible grades though.

No he actually does quite well in his courses and there's one simple reason as to why;

he's genuinely hard working 

Which surprises nearly everyone who sees him.

But that only makes him work harder

You see Inosuke decided to actually get an education for the simple reason that everyone assumed he was too stupid to do anything with his life

He originally wanted to do Zoology but then he realized that he has too much energy, which ends up scaring off most animals 

Which defeats the whole "study of animals" part of Zoology 

Of course his Mom was in his corner despite this, really only wanting her son to be happy and find his own success

So he wouldn’t make the same mistakes she did in her youth

Inosuke actually got advice from his mom which helped him settle on Kinesiology as his degree

But once he settled on his degree he was set in stone

His pseudo-step dad offered to pay for his schooling but Inosuke said "I would rather swallow a truck whole than be indebted to you"

And then took out a shit ton of loans to pay for everything 

Which only amused his pseudo-dad and made his mom worry a tad

He manages to work a part time job flipping burgers over the summer which was enough to let him pay for his books and meal plan outright for the first year

And yet despite seeing him bust his ass to be able to go to school people still tried to dissuade him from doing anything further with his life

Which only made him work harder

His whole attitude towards school is "man this sucks but also fuck anyone and anything that tries to make me quit: No You" 

Inosuke even takes pride in the dropped jaws that come from seeing him at the top of his courses

The boy has never once gotten lower than an 80% on an assignment 

He does best in his statistics course simply because both Tanjiro and Zenitsu are also enrolled in that block 

Inosuke is competitive 

In his other courses nobody stirs up that aggressive competitive spirit like Tanjiro and Zenitsu do in their shared Stat course

And with the pair of them around him, Inosuke feels the urge to out do both to the point where he likes to imagine their feelings of inferiority will crush them like a 1 ton block of the densest concrete imaginable 

Inosuke actually made Zenitsu stop breathing from sheer shock and awe when he realized what Inosuke's minor was

Psych is Zenitsu's major (the duo don't share any courses for psychology so they didn't know until then) and it caused Zenitsu to go on a rant to the effect of, " to think that pig headed idiot is doing better than me, that must be a lie! LIAR" 

That rant made Inosuke laugh so hard he fell off the table he was sitting on

He actually bruised a rib because of it

It remains Inosuke's favourite memory of Zenitsu because of this

And he wants to see how else he can make him turn purple with rage 

Hence he often comes up with weird ways to try and express his perceived academic superiority over his friends rivals 

Zenitsu falls for the weird competitive schemes Inosuke comes up with 

Tanjiro decidedly does not, in fact he doesn't really care so long as nobody actually gets hurt

Does that stop Inosuke from trying to outdo him? N o p e

If Tanjiro gets 96% on an assignment Inosuke must get 100% 

What can I say Inosuke is a competitive guy 

And it works for him as motivation 

Maybe a little too well if Inosuke has anything to say about it 

(He was embarrassed bc he got called out publicly at his grad ceremony for not just outstanding academic excellence but by the elderly head of the department for "being the Kinesiology student with the highest grades since the founding of the department" )

The metal he received from the department head totally does not hang on the wall in his mom's house 

Speaking of competitive spirit at school

He trains really hard for both Judo and Rugby

Its a great way for Inosuke to burn off both his aggression towards all the frustrating people he's stuck interacting with and his pent up energy 

Kicking ass just makes his temperament a lot easier to deal with for others and he will use ' sports practice' excuse to leave whatever social situation he doesn't want to be in

He just really likes contact sports okay

And by God is he good at them

Like takes home trophies and metals kinda good

Which also aren't being kept at him mom's house where he definitely doesn't have displayed where she can see them and be proud of him

However due to his tendency to be aggressive with the intensity of interest he has in things

Tanjiro signed Inosuke up for a ceramics class 

He thought that Inosuke would do well with something relaxing to do while still keeping it tactile enough to keep him interested 

It did not go over as well as Tanjiro had hoped

But despite this Inosuke still goes to every single club meet up without fail

Is he good at it? No 

Is Tanjiro? Definitely 

Does that make Inosuke steaming mad? Yep

Inosuke generally sucks at making clay things symmetrical 

So every plate or bowl or vase he makes ends up lopsided 

Inosuke will die before he admits to Tanjiro that he was glad for being signed up after he gave his Mom the successful first mug he made and she smiled brighter than she had in years 

It was bright green with blue and purple childlike butterfly drawings on it and the glaze wasn't spread evenly so it looks a little patchy 

And the handle is proportional too large and thin for the cup itself

But Inosuke's mom loves it more than any other mug in the house

And now every time he goes home to see her and she uses that mug, he finds himself quite happy 

But he will deny it thoroughly. 

All in all he loves getting the chance to go to College 

He may hate the judgy people he's forced to encounter regularly but Inosuke does adore the chance to learn and explore new interests 

Not to mention the people he gets to interact with 

Even if he knows the debt will weigh heavy on his bank account for a long while.

He still thinks it was all worth it.  

[jjk-biased]

jungkook x reader

requested by @atulipandarose (oooh soulmate/jungkook/one shot!! it's been big missing jk hours over here)

genre: fluff, soulmate au

words: 2.5k of dumb jungkook pining

warnings: none >< cussing here and there, also my first time writing just fluff so please be kind. unedited!!!

synopsis: jungkook never loved the idea of soulmates because he liked you and he wanted only you.

masterlist | events masterlist

There it was, the panging he felt in his heart even if he wasn’t the person in pain. As his chest throbbed, it was emotional pain he supposed, the song began to play in his head. He gritted his teeth, upset to have been reminded once again of the world he lived in. 

The world had to be so stupid to believe in such nonsense. It was idiotic. They had to be so naive to rely on  this whole scam - to the point where they even revolve their lives around it. 

It isn’t true. It’s far-fetched. This whole soulmate system wasn’t reliable.

He lived in a world where the universe decided who each person’s other was. Soulmates existed. It was everywhere. And he didn’t like it one bit.

Whoever made the world like this had to be an utter idiot. Why would anyone allow something like this to take over people’s lives? This bullshit soulmate system gave people a false sense of hope that someone out of the millions and millions of people would be the only right person for you. That somehow, out of 7.5 billion people, someone would be the perfect yin to your yang. 

It shouldn’t exist. Soulmates shouldn’t exist. 

Come to think of it, how can the universe even be so sure that the person they have “destined” for him is the right one? And, honestly, who even gave the universe the right to choose for him?

Fuck the universe, Jeon Jungkook wanted to pick for himself.

He thought this whole sham was an inconvenience. Unlike almost every love-crazed and soulmate-addict person, he thought otherwise. Jungkook felt suffocated at the thought of being tied down to someone who he probably didn’t even like. He didn’t need whoever they had for him. He didn’t have to meet this so-called pre-destined love of his life to live happily.

Actually, he did. Or else he would forever be haunted by it. He’d go crazy.

People had different “soulmate indicators” -- basically something in their body that gave them a hint on whoever they were destined for. Namjoon, his writer friend, had a tattoo of his soulmate’s name on his collarbone. Jimin, the short friend, had a ring on his finger with the initials of his soulmate and would even change colors depending on the mood of his other. One part of Taehyung's hair is the same color as his soulmate’s, regardless if he tried to dye it along with his locks. 

To say the least, theirs were easy to find, to discover - much more convenient than what the universe had in store for dear Jeon Jungkook. His had to be the most vague indicator of this whole scam. 

A song.

The universe gave Jungkook one specific song that only he and his soulmate knew. Not a name, not a ring, not even a hair color. Just one fucking song. 

Jeon Jungkook didn’t want to believe in this obviously fraudulent scheme that the universe set up. Despite his woes and resentment towards the system, Jungkook couldn’t exactly ignore it. The song, somehow sung by both him and the soulmate, always played in his head whenever he or the other would feel down. Somehow, it only played when any of them were sad. Not when they’re happy. Not when they’re angry. Not when they’re bored. Only when one or the other wasn’t feeling well.

But hey, at least he knew when it would start. 

There would always be a pang in his chest before it began. It was akin to when the dog dies in the movie, or when someone relayed bad news, or when the character in a book had to leave. The weird feeling would be eased immediately as soon as the song played in their head. It would lull him to sleep, he guessed it held the same effect for whoever was on the other side, and would make him feel at home. 

But he did not like this soulmate bullshit. 

Not one bit.

Even if the song brought him great comfort. Even if it was the only thing he looked forward to when he had a bad day. Even if his soulmate’s honey-like voice blended well with his. 

Wait shit, he should be hating this nonsense. Why did he just think that his soulmate sang nicely?

Fuck it. Forget what he thought. It didn’t matter anyway. 

He had other things to think about anyway, especially how to gain the courage to ask his friend out. 

Jungkook is currently and sadly a college student, who, aside from drowning in student debt, studies fine arts. He hopes to become a renowned artist someday, and in pursuing so, had to disobey his typical Asian parents’ wish for him to be called Dr. or Atty. someday. 

Soulmate hatred aside, art had always been his passion. Despite growing into a family full of doctors, lawyers, and judges, he knew his heart belonged in fine arts. When his brother would play with the toy syringes and stethoscopes, he would be seen getting himself dirty with the washable markers. That love for coloring grew into something more, and so Jungkook decided he would become an artist in the future. 

It was always so freeing for him to dabble in the blues and greens and create whatever he visualized in his mind. The pencil in his hand could easily convey the emotions he had trouble vocalizing. All of his troubles would go away faster than you can say worldwide handsome Jin-hyung with the aid of his drawing tablet. Everything about art just intrigued him. Art was easy. Art was comforting. 

Art is where he felt free.

It wasn’t suffocating. Unlike his family that wanted him to be someone he couldn’t become and this soulmate shit that wanted to cuff him down to one specific person he doubts would even go well with him. 

He wanted the soulmate system gone. For reasons that seemed justified to him and only him. 

He could live without the incessant nagging of his very traditional family who wanted to sped things up. Jungkook would finally stop seeing some of his soulmate-less acquaintances miserable. He could finally go on with his sad day without the song that would automatically play in his head. 

Wait… that last thought made him feel sad. Perhaps he would miss the song after all. 

Anyway, and above all, he could finally court his cute friend without having to worry of the soulmate shabang. 

Jungkook didn’t want whoever the universe paired him with. He wanted his cute seatmate and friend, Y/N Y/L/N.

Y/N Y/L/N. Your name was perfect. 

The way your name rolled off his tongue felt just right. The way your nose would scrunch as you focused on sketching the naked dude who had to pose in front of everyone. The way you would tilt your head when the professor never made sense with his discussions. 

Everything about you was just so… perfect. 

You were kind-hearted, considerate, and intelligent. Your humor was unmatched and you were very enthusiastic when you conversed with Jungkook. From a small crush, his liking towards you grew into something he couldn’t exactly ignore. He liked you more than he liked to listen to the duet in his head.  

Okay… scratch that. Maybe he did like his significant other’s singing voice. It eased his worries after a troublesome day. Admittedly, he had found comfort in it.

If only the universe allowed him to converse with whoever was on the other side, then maybe he didn’t have to loathe this system so much. He could’ve gotten a friend out of it, not a soulmate… but a friend. 

Somehow, his thoughts wandered back to you. God, imagine if you were his soulmate. Jungkook would be more than happy if that happened. But he didn’t need the universe to act on his feelings for you. Jungkook will do something… He knew he had to do something about it. He just didn’t know when. 

All of his thinking made Jungkook revert to airplane mode, so it was only then that he noticed you concernedly waving your hand in front of his face for a sign of consciousness. He found your scrunched up face painstakingly cute but holy shit… why are you so close? Please don’t be so close. Jungkook would malfunction if you decreased the space between you two even more. 

“Are you okay, kook?” You luckily stepped back once he locked eyes with you. 

 Ah… that sweet voice of yours that could rival the comforting honey-like singing in his head.

“Y-yeah! Sorry, was spacing out,” Jungkook’s words were jumbled as he noticed he was staring at you like a gaping goldfish instead of answering like a normal person. 

Your giggles rang throughout the room at his predicament. He crookedly grinned then laughed along. This must be heaven. Your happiness was always contagious and he’d often mirror the smile on your face whenever you were happy. 

You made him feel giddy as much as he did on the days he finished his artworks. You made him complete. 

But that damn soulmate thing had to ruin it. 

How he wished you were his soulmate. 

“I thought something happened to you, kook! Mr. Kang dismissed us some time ago but you were still frozen in your seat when everyone left. I was so… worried,” You chuckled, though quite red and hesitant at the end. 

Well did that instigate the butterflies in Jungkook’s tummy. 

“Concerned for me?” Jungkook teased, it was his go-to response because he couldn’t exactly flirt in straight sentences. 

Your eyebrows furrowed but the pink hue became much more evident. Jungkook didn’t even mind the kick you gave him because he made you feel a bit flustered. Success :D

“Taehyungie’s been busy, hasn’t he?” You said, trying to change the subject so everyone could forget the embarrassment.

Taehyung, the theater kid and drama major, was friends with the both of you. He had been busy for the past month because their project was to create a series of plays to showcase to the school. Their show will be on Tuesday, days away from now. 

Right! He could invite you to the play.

“He is… Hey,” You tilted your head and hummed when Jungkook’s voice sounded a bit unsure. 

“Do you wanna go with me to the play?”

The red on your face and the shy nod you did made him swell in accomplishment. He can’t wait for Tuesday to come. 

Fuck.  He should’ve waited for Tuesday to come. Now it is Tuesday and he was too nervous to even stand in a five-meter radius near you. Slapping himself to forget the momentary faltering of his confidence, he shakily waited at the foot of your doorstep with an album in his hand. 

You two bonded on music and he knew you well enough to know you’d rather have the CD of your favorite artist than some flower that would wilt after awhile. He was right. The beam on your face when he handed over the gift made him so happy that all his nerves were washed away. You always had a way to ease him, even if you weren’t aware. 

“M’lady,” He jokingly tried to replicate a british accent as he offered his arm, waiting for you. And as you always would, you took his arm along with an accent-laced, “M’lord,”

Jungkook forgot his worries for a moment and it was always because of you. 

You two sat near the stage to support Taehyung with his play. You two remembered him sharing that their play was about a soulmate-driven world with much more darker consequences. It was about the fictional hanahaki disease, he said. 

And boy did it feel so sad. Taehyung acted so well, as if he was really losing his character’s best friend onstage. Jungkook peered at you for a moment and saw your eyes glisten as Taehyung’s cries grew louder and louder. 

The story was really heartbreaking.

To the point where Jungkook felt the familiar pang on his chest and the song began to play in his head. 

How peculiar. His soulmate was sad just as Taehyung’s scene played out. Perhaps they were in the same auditorium as well. But that was impossible. His soulmate was probably watching some soap opera. 

Not that he minded. Jungkook had other things to think about, especially how to comfort you as your tears flowed down from the actors’ amazing performance. As slick as he could, he draped an arm around you and let you rest your head on his shoulder. His heart was beating faster than he could comprehend. Even more so, when you scooted closer to him.

Fuck. You were cuddling. Oh my god. Jungkook is gonna die out of happiness. 

He had to play it cool though. Jungkook ignored the warmth in his chest and face as he rubbed your arm in consolation. He was surprised you reacted well. Nothing prepared him for what happened next. 

You were humming. 

You were humming his song. 

hOLY SHIT. HOLY SHIT YOU WERE HUMMING HIS SONG. 

You… were his soulmate.

Okay universe… Unfuck you, Jungkook guessed. Apparently the universe was on his side after all… All he had to do was somehow tell you…

Jungkook, his face now an uncontrollable red, nervously turned towards you and successfully got  your undivided attention. God, he could die then and there. Gathering courage from glob knows where, he smiled and sang the first line of the song. 

Universe might have been laughing at him for suddenly changing his views. Jungkook would’ve laughed at himself if he found out the double-back on his opinion. But this was you. 

You and your cute nose scrunch, you and your adorable head tilt, you and your witty comebacks.

This was you.

Everything about you was perfect, and he couldn’t believe that the universe liked him enough to grace him with you as his soulmate. 

何故 こんなにも 涙が溢れるの

[Naze, konna ni mo namida ga afureru no]

Your eyes widened as he sang the song that felt like home to the both of you. 

ねぇ 側にいて そして笑ってよ

[Nee, soba ni ite soshite waratte yo]

You joined in on the singing and everything just made sense. None of the leaving people in the auditorium mattered at the moment. 

君のいない未来は 色のない世界

[Kimi no inai mirai wa iro no nai sekai]

Jungkook was so happy. It seemed like the world was brighter than before.

モノクロで冷たい

[Monokuro de tsumetai]

He shouldn’t have doubted the universe’s plan. Everything was better with you. 

見つめてる 暗闇さえも so beautiful

[Mitsumeteru kurayami sae mo so beautiful]

You smiled shyly as your soft honey-like voice harmonized with him. 

僕を信じてほしい

[Boku wo shinjite hoshii]

Jungkook’s smile grew wider, encasing your delicate hand in his.

まっすぐに君だけを見て

[Massugu ni kimi dake wo mite]

For once in his life, he was happy and it was better because he was happy with you.

どこにも行かないように

[Doko ni mo ikanai you ni]

You two shared a kiss that afternoon, on a Tuesday, at the university’s auditorium.

permanent taglist: @luvinseokjinnie @97faerie @amoreguk @bbyjoonies @borednia @tanumiki @taescake

[Extra]

Jungkook: Hey Taehyung! Congrats, that play was amazing

Taehyung: ...yeah… but why did you two make out when I died onstage?

You: ahahaha bye.

[wickedlyqueer]

Holy Poly

Ever since @gliyerabaa became obsessed with the Glinda/Fiyero/Elphaba ship it suddenly reminded me I wrote a poly fic years ago where essentially the Charmed Circle lived together and most of them were dating each other.

I never finished or published it, because I’m first and foremost a gelphie ho. to a point it felt wrong to be calling it a poly fic, bc I just wanted to focus on the gelphie dynamic.

Anyway, because I promised Rae (and I’m sure they’d love to see some gliyeraba content they didn’t write themself) this was the intro chapter of the modern AU, fresh out of college, poly chapter I wrote like 3 years ago.

Save the trees!

Perhaps every accidental cluster of people had a short period of grace. Although gracious was probably not the best word to describe the weirdly formed, yet close-knit circle. Exuberant. Loud. Queer. Those were better words. A loving found family that could not been torn apart even if fate wanted it to.

Neither was their time together short-lived. At least, not if it was up to Glinda. After most of them had graduated last summer, the crushing college debt and the terrifying world that was job hunting in a broken economic system made the decision on cohabitation all the easier.

On the outskirts of Shiz they had found their home: a small house with just enough room for the six of them to not suffocate. It was nothing fancy, but none of them would want it any other way. 

“Elphie’s not here?”

Glinda had entered the living room where the boys were spread lazily across their two mismatched couches bought at a garage sale.

“Nope, left quite a while ago,” Boq replied.

“Aren’t they at their usual train station spot harassing people?” 

“Language, Crope,” from the kitchen came Fiyero’s rich voice. “Spreading awareness about global warming isn’t the same as harassing.”

“Fine. It’s annoying people then.”

“Not everyone finds that awareness crap annoying,” Tibbett said, throwing a casual glance at Glinda. “I believe someone went weak at the knees for that.”

She felt a blush creeping up; not for the comment he made, but for the comment that was about to come. It had turned into an inside joke in their circle, and she had learned from experience that the less she objected the more humiliation she was spared.

“Is it?” Crope wiggled his eyebrows. “The way I heard, she complimented Elphie on their dedication to the cause for painting their entire visage green.”

The trio threw a fist in the air and shouted in unison, “Save the trees!” without their attention leaving the screen. 

“I hate every single one of you.” 

“You can’t deny that’s how it went, Glin,” Fiyero commented. “Have you tried texting by the way?”

“I think their phone died,” she checked one more time for any messages, but still no response from Elphaba. “Remind me to ambush them again for getting a decent phone.”

“At least they lost that brick phone.”

Crope snorted. “Yeah, right. Lost.”

Tibbett gave him a wicked smile. “No fun in being a tattletale, babe.”

Whatever they were grinning about it was Crope and Tibbett, and Glinda prefered to stay ignorant on the subject. She headed towards the kitchen where Fiyero was cooking dinner. A towel hanging over his shoulder and his beautiful long black hair stuffed in a loose bun so no strains could spoil the food.

“Smells good, Yero.” She wrapped her arms around his belly, and stretched out completely on her tiptoes and almost managed to put her chin on his shoulder. “If only I could see if it looks as equally good.”

Fiyero laughed heartily and sank through his knees so Glinda could see better. “How about now?”

She smiled. “So far this meal is Glinda-approved.”

“That’s all I need.”

A cheer came from Boq from the living room having beaten the other two at the game. 

“I think I’m going to check the train station,” Glinda said as she let go off Fiyero; the pose was growing uncomfortable for the both of them. Their height difference was ridiculous. How she had ended up with two partners so much taller than her was beyond her.

“Oh, you know what you should do? Call Nessa. Maybe she can contact Elphie through their sibling telepathy.”

“I think that only works when they have something to bicker about,” Glinda said, but dialed the number anyway. “Goes straight to voicemail.”

“Why do those two even have phones?” Fiyero muttered. 

“Okay, so train station and then I’ll drop by Nessa’s dorm to check on her too. Any other places Elphie might be?”

Four voices spoke as one. “The library.”

“Should’ve figured that one out myself.”

“Glin, you do know Elphie’s like a cat, right? They always find their way back home eventually.”

“I know, but I feel like going outside for a bit. I’ll see you tonight.”

“Sure thing. Oh, and Glinda?”

She turned around. “Hm?”

He took her hand and planted a chaste kiss on her fingertips. “Can I just say you look absolutely wonderful today?”

She beamed. “You’re too charming for your own good Fiyero.” 

“It’s why he has so many partners,” Crope called from the couch, apparently eavesdropping on the conversation. There was zero privacy in this house. “Too handsome too. Who could say no to that gorgeous face?”

“Not us,” added Tibbett. “And don’t forget that he’s a flirt without realizing it. It just comes natural to him and it’s adorable.”

Fiyero had the advantage that his dark skin hid most of his blush, but knowing him since high school, Glinda knew what a flustered Fiyero looked like. 

“I just got a lot of love to share, I guess,” he smiled shyly. “Let me know when you find Elphaba, okay? Dinner will be ready around seven.” 

--

Elphaba wasn’t at the library and neither were they at the train station. All Glinda found there were old memories. She could see the young, nervous girl fresh from the Pertha Hills standing on the platform. Fiyero’s steady hand on her shoulder to ease her worries. Had four years really passed so quickly?

She traced her footsteps from the past. Her gaze wandering over the square in front of the train station like it did then. The only thing that was missing, was a green person storming towards her. From that moment on she was captivated by Elphaba, although the first few months she had let her socialite behavior overrule.

“You could’ve disclosed in our online correspondence that you’re green!” 

She had whined once she had found out the Green-Tree-From-Shiz-Station was her roommate. Elphaba had pointed at the five enormous trunks brought into their room by an upperclassman.

“Only if you had disclosed you would bring your entire house with you.”

Glinda had thought the roommate matching system had completely failed her. No way had she the highest match with a snarky, social-reclusive green person! It had taken her some time to realize they were ridiculously similar, just coming from different angles.

Her path down memory lane continued when she entered Shiz campus. It only had been two months ago since she graduated, but it already felt foreign being here. As if she no longer fitted. A group of giggling first year students passed her. Glinda recognized her own innocence in them back at that age. Feeling as if you’re on top of the world only because you have yet to learn what that world entailed.

Unconsciously she had walked to Crage Hall. She admired the building when a busted up blue van pulled over. It was Elphaba’s. They all jokingly referred to it as the Abduction Truck, because that’s how sketchy it looked. 

Elphaba got out and moved over to the back of the truck. The only reason Elphaba had bought that van was to drive Nessa around. Normally they were a very dedicated public transport advocate, and although Elphaba would deny it, Glinda knew they’d bend their own morals to please Nessa.

Glinda walked towards the car and Elphaba looked surprised. “Hey, what are you doing here?”

“Looking for you actually.”

“Oh?” 

Elphaba opened the backdoors to reveal a Nessa waiting impatiently to be led out. “You do take your time don’t you, Elphaba? The air conditioner was already turned off and in this heated garbage tin can of yours I could’ve already suffocated. Hello Glinda.”

“Hey Nessa.”

Elphaba lifted the ramp from the truck. “And yet you still live. The Unnamed God must have favorites after all.”

Nessa rolled her eyes. “Just open a window next time, please?”

“Yes, your majesty.” Elphaba vastened the ramp and Nessa rode her wheelchair to the pavement.

Elphaba shoved the ramp back inside and closed the door. Glinda walked towards them and was met with a strong smell. She sniffed Elphaba’s shirt and got worried. “Why do you smell like chlorine? Were you near water?”

Elphaba gestured to Nessa. “Had to drive this kid to Red Sand.”

“Your half year check-up! I completely forgot.” One of the reasons why Elphaba had bought the van was so Nessa could study at Shiz. Every six months they had to drive all the way to Red Sand where Nessa had to do exercises in a swimming pool. That’s what Glinda understood of it at least. “How was it?”

“Still pretty paralyzed,” Nessa supplied dryly.

“Doctor Kazhki said your legs were looking healthy.”

“As healthy as they can be paralyzed, yes.”

Glinda tugged at Elphaba’s hand before the argument could escalate. “Hey, you vanished without a single message.”

Elphaba frowned. “No I didn’t, I sent you a text and—ah,” they had gotten their phone out. “Must’ve died before it was sent.”

“No way!” Glinda feigned surprise. “Tomorrow we’re gonna get you a new phone and I won’t hear any of your usual excuses.”

“Can you do your flirting somewhere that isn’t in front of me?” Nessarose disrupted them. “I’m going inside.”

She wheeled away.

“Thanks for the ride, Fabala. Oh no problem, Nessie.” 

Nessa turned around and stuck out her tongue. “If you can converse with yourself, what do you need me for?” 

“Ungrateful brat.”

It was their way of saying goodbye. Being an only child Glinda still had no idea how sibling relationships worked. Especially those of the Thropps.

“Go kiss your girlfriend.” Nessarose waved without looking behind and went into the building. 

Elphaba turned around and smirked. They wrapped their arms around Glinda’s waist. “Well you heard her.”

Glinda raised her eyebrows teasingly. “Since when do you take orders from your sister, hm?”

“Wow. You ruined the moment.” But they smiled and kissed her forehead. “I’m sorry I didn’t notify you.”

“All is forgiven. You’re here now.”

It was a beautiful afternoon and without another word between them they had agreed to walk around campus. Glinda curled into Elphaba’s arm. She had done it so many times before it was like second nature. She had loved strolling around campus with Elphaba, back when they were still at Shiz. Near the Suicide Canal they settled down in the grass and soaked up the nice autumn sun while it was still warm.

Glinda leaned into Elphaba and smiled. “This brings back memories.” 

“Curled up in my arms after one of our many picnics at the Suicide Canal? Whatever gave you that idea?” Elphaba teased.

Glinda nudged them playfully. “Sentimentality, I suppose. My entire walk I’ve been seeing myself through a looking glass.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, like at the train station I remembered–” Glinda stopped dead in her tracks. How could she have let that one slip!

Elphaba let out a roaring laugh. “Are you referring to our ‘meet-cute’?”

Her entire face had turned bright red. “It wasn’t cute, I’m still embarrassed by it.” 

“Aw, don’t be. It was actually refreshing from all the usual green freak insults.”

“How? I thought you were going for a metaphor to reflect a greener planet! I didn’t even consider a green person existing. How is that less offensive?”

“True, but then you became so flustered when I looked at you funny. I’ll never forget how you threw a fist in the air and yelled ‘save the trees!’ to show your support.”

Glinda buried her face into her hands. “Oh god.”

Elphaba laughed. “It was cute” and put their face closer. “You’re cute.”

“You’re making it worse,” Glinda’s words sounded muffled through her hands.

They planted a comforting kiss in her hair. “We still ended up like this, so it couldn’t have been all that bad, right?”

“I suppose,” her embarrassment fading, Glinda let herself fall back on Elphaba’s shoulder. “I thought I’d never see you again after that. Big surprise waited ahead of me. God, I thought you were a senior or something. No other freshman I know functioned that entire first week, and there you were, already trying to make the world a better place.” 

She felt Elphaba smile. “I was such a determined little fuck back then. I didn’t even sign up. I got off the train and saw the group of volunteers and basically pestered them until they gave me a jacket and some flyers to hand out.”

“And they haven’t gotten rid of you since.”

“Nope. I’m the best thing that happened to them.”

Glinda paused, weighing her words before saying, “And to me.”

“Damn, you are sentimental today,” Elphaba noted. 

Glinda took Elphaba’s chin and slowly lowered it until their eyes were leveled. Just before their lips touched she whispered, “You’re ruining the moment.”

“Now we’re even,” Elphaba murmured, smiling into the kiss.

--

A/N: to be clear of all the dynamics (bc they are very entangled and a bit of a mess): - Glinda is asexual and through high school became very dependable on Fiyero (as he was the first person she ever came out too). Dependable to a point they couldn’t imagine their lives separately. So it falls more in a QPR relationship, where their platonic bond is unbreakable. - Elphaba is non-binary, bi and aromantic. Their relationship with Glinda is definitely the most couple-y, and can be classified as a “typical” romantic relationship. They also connected with Fiyero instantly and fell for his charms. - Fiyero is very poly because this boy’s got a lot of love to share! He’s also aro (which might seem contradictory, but it’s something I’ve seen a lot of overlap with, funnily enough!) and so his relationship are very platonic/sexual based. he has that sort of relationship with Elphaba, Crope&Tibbett and one or two other people outside the charmed circle. - Tibbet’s genderfluid and good with any pronouns and will raid Glinda’s closet on any occasion. In an open relationship with Crope and they obviously communicate incredibly well with this. - Crope’s just very gay.  - Boq is a trans guy and aro/ace. He’s the only not in a typical “relationship” and definitely isn’t looking for that either, but he can’t live without his chosen family. Together with Fiyero, they’re basically the “dads” of the group and keeps everyone in check. 

If anyone wants to run with these dynamics; you have my blessing! I won’t be continuing this story but if it inspired you feel free to build on it!

[ladyreapermc]

Fic: Dark Paradise (Keanu x Reader)

Summary: AU! With their ‘arrangement’ in place, reader and Keanu go apartment hunting. Part of the Always the quiet ones universe. Part 1 - Always the quiet ones | Part 2 - The Proposal | Part 4 - Without You

Author’s notes: I don’t know about you people, but I’m slightly addicted to this series. It’s so fun to write! As usual, feedback is greatly appreciated.

Wordcount: 4247

Warnings: Age gap; smut (dirty talk; d/s undertones; exhibitionism)

It was strange to be in the presidential suite without Keanu, but definitely something you could get used to. You took your time in a long bath, using the deliciously scented bath products from the hotel that you were very familiar with, despite never using them yourself.

You stepped out once the water turned tepid, your skin feeling silky soft and smelling amazing as you wrapped your body on one of the fluffy white robes, a towel holding your hair on top of your head. You scanned the menu for room service, your stomach rumbling. It was late and your last meal had been lunch.

Picking up the phone, you paused in hesitation. Everyone in the reception desk knew you. They would recognize your voice at the same second. How were you gonna explain this? You set the phone down again, choosing instead to order your favorite burger and milkshake from the diner a couple of streets over. They frequently delivered to the hotel guests and employees so no one would bat an eye to see them there.

You grabbed your laptop and books, bringing it to the bed with you because you had an essay for your abnormal psychology class to deliver next week and you hadn’t had time to start. Between work and all the other courses, you had been feeling overwhelmed and stressed and every time you tried to sit down to write, it was like your brain would just shut down and refuse to form any coherent thought.

Tonight, it was the first time in a while you felt completely relaxed and as you pulled out your reference notes, the text flowed easily, the essay practically writing itself as you swayed to The Weeknd playing on your earbuds.

You finished the first draft in record time, saving it on your college folder with a smile. So, this was how studying felt like when you had plenty of time and no distractions? It was amazing and the idea of not only having an apartment of your own but not to worry about long work hours and crushing debt was starting to sound even more appealing.

Pulling up a few real-estate websites, you started to browse apartments you liked which were around St. Joseph’s College, but after another moment’s consideration, decided to look for places closer to Columbia University, where you were planning to attend for Law School.

At first, you searched for an apartment with two beds two baths just like you first envisioned, but the prices terrified you. Why was everything in New York so fucking expensive? You could never ask Keanu to spend so much on you, a woman he barely knew. Then again, what would be the right price under those circumstances?

With a sigh, you got up, putting your clothes back on and moving to the balcony to watch the Manhattan lights. What were you thinking by getting in such a weird, messed up situation? You could already foresee that every single step of this would be riddled with uncertainty and self-doubt and you already hated.

You were usually so sure about your own choices. You had been sure that you needed to move away for college and even though you hated leaving your mom and brother behind, you knew it would be the only way to ease the weight of responsibility on your mother. If you stayed, she would insist you dedicated exclusively to school and she would kill herself working two, three jobs to keep your family finances afloat.

From a distance, with only phone calls twice a week, it was easier to pretend you weren’t struggling. It was easier to pretend that you were having the life she always dreamt of for you. The life Keanu was offering you right now.

And when you accepted his proposal, you had been sure too. Thinking about your future and the fact that even though you barely knew him, Keanu made you feel like no other man or boy ever managed.

It wasn’t a coincidence that, even though you knew next to nothing about him, he had been your first. You knew he was the kind of man you wanted, and you didn’t regret your decision. You were just doubting if this was the right way to go about things.

A pair of strong arms wrapped around your waist, making you start and giggle, especially when he pressed his cold nose against your neck.

“I could hear you overthinking things as soon as I stepped inside the suite,” Keanu commented, tugging you closer to his body, surrounding you with his heat and you rested against his chest, relaxing in an instant. How was this possible? “If you changed your mind…”

“No,” you sighed, turning in his embrace, your arms coming around his neck, fingers combing through the soft hairs in his nape. “I just…”

“Unsure if it’s the right thing for you?” he asked, and you chuckled because you hated and loved how he could just read your mind.

“Maybe,” you replied as Keanu rested his forehead against yours, letting out his own sigh. “I mostly wondering why you’re doing this.” He pulled back long enough to give you a look, his eyebrow arched in question and you felt heat rising to your cheeks. “I mean, you’re a handsome guy. Smart, educated, very good at…”

“Sex?” he offered with a smirk and you chuckled.

“Well, yes, but that wasn’t really what I was gonna say.” Even if you were thinking it. “My point is, you literally could just ask me or any other woman out and they most likely say yes.”

“Truth is, I’m selfish,” Keanu said with a shrug, his hands trailing softly down your back, rough fingers under your shirt, making goosebumps rise on your skin. “I have very little free time and when I do and I want to spend it with someone, I want their undivided attention. Bills and unfulfilling jobs tend to take their focus away.”

“So, you’ve done this before?” you asked carefully because you’ve been dying to know.

“Does it matter?” he asked, pulling away from you and there was a tension in his shoulders that you hadn’t seen before.

“Yes,” you replied a little more firmly because you needed to know. You needed to know what kind of future could be waiting for you.

“Twice,” Keanu finally replied, stepping closer to the railing and lighting up a cigarette. “First time, she ended it. It wasn’t what she wanted in the long run. She’s married now. With a kid.”

“And the second time?” you prodded, trying to be gentle.

“She wanted more than I could give so I had to end things. For her own good and mine.”

You could tell there was more to it but decided to leave it alone, your curiosity sated for now. Instead, you fitted yourself between his body and the railing, making Keanu smile as he looked at you. His gaze held you with its intensity and you wanted to hide, but also to expose your entire self to him because it made you feel like the only person on Earth and it was such a strange but thrilling feeling.

“It never felt like this, though,” he whispered, leaning closer, filling your nose with the smell of smoke and expensive cologne. “I don’t think I’ve ever wanted someone the way I want you.”

“I want you too,” you assured, arms returning to his neck.

Your mouth found his and for a moment you got lost in the taste of him. Just the touch of his lips upon yours was enough to make your knees feel weak and arousal pool between your legs.

“You should eat first,” Keanu said with a soft smile. “Your burger is getting cold and your milkshake is melting.” You followed him back to the bedroom, surprised to see the takeout bag on top of a bedside table. “The delivery guy was at the reception desk when I got in, so I just brought it with me.”

“Thanks.” You grinned, your belly growling at the smell of the greasy food.

“Where are you going?” Keanu asked when you took a step to the sitting room.

“I’m not gonna eat in bed,” you replied with a snort. You knew how much of a pain in the ass it was to clean up those sheets from grease stains.

Instead, you brought everything to the small dining table in the sitting room, mouth watering as you unpacked your food. You were halfway into your burger when Keanu came in, your laptop in hands.

“Looking for apartments?” he asked, sitting next to you. “Let me see?”

“Sure. Third tab is my favorite so far,” you said licking the excess of ketchup from your fingers before you popped a fry in your mouth and tilted your head to see the screen too.

“It’s a shoebox,” Keanu complained with a displeased noise, moving to the next tab and then the following one and the one after that. “They’re all shoeboxes.”

“I don’t need much,” you shrugged and watched as he altered the search parameters, his brown eyes scanning the options, his forehead slightly creased in concentration. “Fry?”

“I already had dinner,” he said, clicking in one of the adds.

“Ok, but this is French fries,” you pointed out, waving it in front of his gaze. “The best in town.” He chuckled, before snatching it from your fingers with his lips.

“I like this,” he said and the first thing you noticed was the price that nearly made you choke on the mouthful of milkshake. “Don’t worry about prices,” Keanu assured with a smile. “Just tell me if you liked it.”

“Well, obviously,” you sighed, glancing back at the pictures and the wide window panels. “But seriously, Keanu, I’d good with a studio or…” You trailed off when you saw him pull out the real-estate agent information, take out his phone. “It’s almost eleven p.m. Keanu, you can’t just…”

He shushed you, a smirk on his face as he pressed the phone to his ear with one hand, the other traveling up your thigh, making you shiver.

“This is Keanu Reeves.”

His hand moving higher as he spoke to the woman on the other side. You tried to still his wandering fingers when they reached between your legs, but Keanu just gave you a wicked smile, his voice not wavering even the slightly as he started teasing you. You brought a hand to your mouth, trying to muffle your noises as you rocked against his fingers.

You got lost in the sensations, in his teasing and you didn’t even realize he ended his call. Not until Keanu pulled your hand away from your mouth, meeting your lips for a sweet kiss.

“We have an appointment tomorrow at noon. Can you make it?”  

“Yeah,” you assured, moving to his lap. “Now, are you gonna fuck me again, sir?”

“Yes,” Keanu replied, smirking. This time when he stood up with you in his arms, you barely made a sound. “Until you can’t sit straight without feeling and remembering me.”

----

You tried your best to focus on what the professor was droning on about, but it was hard when every time you shifted in your chair, you could feel the throb in your center, not exactly painful, but definitely making sure you didn’t forget the pounding you got last night and you had to hide your satisfied grin behind a sip of your water so not to drag attention to yourself.

You never thought sex could be quite like that. Sure, Keanu was your first real experience, everything else just awkward fumbling, but even in your inexperience, you could tell that wasn’t just good. It was unbelievably amazing.

Feeling your phone vibrating in your pocket, you reached for it and the sight of Keanu’s name on the screen made your heart speed up. It was just a text message; sending you the address for the apartment complex you’d be visiting and asking if you wanted him to send a car for you. You had no idea why you were acting like this.

With a quick reply, you assured you’d be there and that you could take the subway before you tried to get your attention back to the lecture. This was one of the toughest classes in your course, you knew only 5 percent of the class would get grades higher than B and you planned to be in that percentage.

Once the class was finally over, you put your things away and checked the time to make sure you could pop in your dorm to drop your stuff and change before you met Keanu. You wanted to look nice and maybe a little more… mature? Maybe it was silly of you, but you wanted to make sure to cause a good impression and jeans and a ratty tee wasn’t the ideal way.

So, you exchanged them for one of your favorite sweater dresses, cream-colored and tied around your waist with a ribbon. You always felt the shape complimented your curves, as well as the tone, made the earthy hue of your skin pop up.

           “You look hot,” your roommate commented, making you grin. She was hardly your favorite person sometimes, but she did have an amazing taste. “Meeting the boyfriend?”

“Never said I had a boyfriend,” you pointed out as you put on your boots.

“The hickeys told the tale,” she smirked, nodding that the bruise peeking from under the hem of your dress and you blushed, tugging it down. “No shame. Maybe he can get that stick from up your ass.” She called out from over her shoulder as she moved away, taking your charger without asking once again.

“Soon,” you whispered to your mirror self, before picking up your bag and heading out, fidgeting the entire way to Morningside Heights, the neighborhood a distant cry from your own and you felt slightly out of place as you approached the elegant building.

Keanu was waiting for you at the foyer, once again in a suit, this time all black, his hair neatly combed and you couldn’t help the way your breath caught in your throat at the sight of him, especially with the way he smiled when he spotted you, his gaze traveling appreciatively down your body before he met your eyes again.

“Sorry I’m late,” you said, letting Keanu pull you closer, his arm wrapping around your waist.

“You’re just in time, sweetheart,” he replied, his eyes never leaving you. “We’re ready, Gwen.”

For the first time, you noticed the woman in a crisp pantsuit, her hair pinned back in a neat bun, a fake smile plastered in her face as she looked at you and at the way Keanu was holding you close, his large hand pressed against your hip, warm and possessive.

You matched her smile, daring her to say a word, knowing that she wouldn’t, not in front of Keanu anyway.

This was something you would have to get used to it. The judgmental looks whenever you were anywhere near Keanu. He seemed oblivious to it, but you could just feel eyes following the pair of you as Gwen led the way to the wall of elevators.

The first apartment she showed was one of the studios you had seen originally. Yes, it was small, but the wide windows let plenty of sunshine in; the modern concept kitchen was gorgeous, and the bathroom had plenty of space. You loved it.

“Shoebox,” Keanu whispered in your ear as Gwen droned on and on about the qualities of the place, making you giggle. “Can you show us the other one we talked about?”

“Absolutely,” the woman said, leading the way out, the elevator taking you three to a higher floor in the building.

This one was also amazing and considerably bigger. Two bedrooms, two baths, an open kitchen, the master bathroom was huge, with a tub that looked very inviting and a closet bigger than you knew what to do with.

“What you think?” Keanu asked, leaning against the doorframe, watching as you ran your fingers over the stone countertops.

“It’s amazing,” you told him with a grin, which he returned. “What do you think?”

You followed him as Keanu walked the apartment, analyzing every inch before, turning to look at Gwen.

“You have a penthouse?” The woman stilled for a second, stunned before she checked something on her phone and then looked back at Keanu.

“We do, but it’s already reserved,” she said, her tone apologetic.

“Show us anyway.” And who could resist when Keanu was flashing that charming smile, looking so suave and unflappable?

You watched as flustered Gwen raised a finger asking for a minute and scurried off, phone to her ear, probably talking to her superiors.

“What’s the point of checking an apartment someone else already getting ready to buy?” you asked, coming to stand next to him. The idea of it being the penthouse scared you a little and something told you Keanu knew.

“Just to sate my curiosity,” he said, fingers toying with the edge of your dress. “I like this look on you,” Keanu said, pulling you closer, his hands coming to your ass. “Easy access.”

You giggled and pushed his hands away moments before Gwen returned, her smile wide and you could almost see the dollar signs in her eyes as she led the way to the top floor, the elevator opening to a small hall that had only one door. She unlocked it and let you and Keanu step in first.

Your breath caught in your throat once again. This time due to the ceiling to floor window panels that showed the most gorgeous view of New York. There was a huge terrace and your heart leaped when you noticed you could see Columbia University from up there, closer than you could have hoped for. St. John’s cathedral too.

This apartment wasn’t much bigger than the other one you just visited and had all the same winning features. The biggest difference was the terrace and it was definitely something. You could see yourself having breakfast out there with Keanu when the weather was nice or cuddling at the lounge seat overlooking Manhattan and the Hudson River.

“You loved it, don’t you?” Keanu asked in a throaty chuckle, his arm surrounding you, his lips grazing your cheek, his beard tickling your skin.

“Ok, yes,” you admitted, turning your head to look at him. “But it’s too…” He silenced your words pressing a finger to your lips, his brown eyes shining bright as he looked at you.

“It’s just right. For both of us.” With a final kiss to your cheek, Keanu moved away, meeting Gwen in the living room.

You could protest of course. Insist on the smaller one but Keanu was right. This was perfect, the kind of place you had only dared to think about in dreams. The master bedroom was large enough that you could have a small home office in it and leave the second bedroom exclusively as a guest room. Your mom would die for that kitchen. It was everything you wanted, and Keanu was more than willing to buy it for you.

With much struggle, you turned your back to the view so you could watch Keanu and Gwen talking. There it was again, the flustered look confronted with his smooth ways and you almost felt bad for her. You had no idea what he was saying, but it was enough for the real estate agent to lift her finger once again and scurry off.

“Even if we love it,” you said returning to the living room, but pausing to admire the high windows. “Someone else is already about to buy it.”

“You’d be surprised what the right offer can do,” Keanu replied with a smirk. He shrugged off his blazer and set on the kitchen counter before he moved towards you, his gaze dark with desire.

“Keanu, we can’t…” you warned just as he crowded you against the window, his lips hot against your neck, his hands on your thighs, sneaking under the hem of your dress.

“Why not?”

“This isn’t our place.” Your voice turned a bit high-pitched as he nipped at your skin. “And she can come back at any moment.”

“She’s talking to her boss, who’s gonna talk to their bosses so they can find a compatible, but more affordable place to offer to the other interested part. That will take a while, so we have time.”

His hands moved to the front of your thighs, dipping in between before nudging them apart and you let him. Any resistance you had reduced to shambles when Keanu pressed a wet, sucking kiss to that sensitive point just bellow your ear that always made you soaked in seconds.

You rested your hands on the sun-warmed glass of the window, bending your body just enough so your ass was pressed against his growing erection, making Keanu smirk against your neck as he tugged your dress up, your panties down and dipped two of his fingers inside you and making you moan.

“Today you have to be quiet, sweetheart,” he said, and you could hear the noise of his buttons and belt being undone. “And I don’t have time to prep you like I usually do.”

“I can take it, sir,” you replied, voice shaking as he continued to move his fingers in and out at a fast pace, making pleasure shoot through you like lightning bolts, the surge of arousal and lust igniting your nerves.

“I know,” Keanu whispered against your cheek. “You’re already drenching my hand, your cunt desperate for my cock.”

You didn’t have time to reply nor to feel embarrassed, because he was replacing his fingers with his cock, burying into you till the hilt and muffling your cries by pushing two fingers into your mouth, his other hand positioning your hips so Keanu could better thrust into you.

His pace was punishing and soon you were pressed against the window, his hand coming up to play with your breasts as he fucked you, his grunts and curses tickling your ear, his smell surrounding you as he took you.

If there was any cognitive function left in you, you would be worried about getting caught; about someone from the nearby buildings seeing the two of you, but all you knew was the shattering pleasure spreading from your center to the rest of your body, coiling deep inside you and building like wildfire. You just knew your orgasm would be the kind that left you completely shattered and weak.

“Are you close, sweetheart?” Keanu asked, tone breathless as he ground into you, his thrusts short and angled just right. “I wanna feel you squeezing me tight when I cum inside you.”

You only nodded, bringing his hand from your breasts to your clit and Keanu started rubbing circles, his soft touch a contrast to the way he was taking you, but it worked, because in moments you were whimpering and shaking as the tension coil snapped and you came, gushing and throbbing around him.

“Fuck! I love how tight your cunt gets when you come,” he grunted, his thrusts gaining speed and losing coordination as he fucked with abandon, muffling his own groan with a bite to your shoulder.

His weight pressed you against the window, the glass smudged by your sweat as the two of you caught your breath and, in your case, also recovered the control for your lower limbs.

You were barely aware of Keanu fumbling behind you, slowly pulling his fingers from inside your mouth, wiping the spit the escaped from the corner of your lips and drying them on his pants before, pulling out his softening cock as the same time he brought a handkerchief between your legs, gathering most of the mess the two of you made.

At the sound of steps on the foyer, you hurried to fix your dress, hoping your hair wasn’t too much of a mess as the Gwen returned to the room, taking one look at the two of you and blushing bright red.

She knew. Of course, she knew. It was written on your faces. She could probably smell it in the air.

“The apartment is yours, Mr. Reeves.”

“Perfect,” he said, smiling wide, both hands inside his pockets. “I’ll have my people send all the required documents to your office.”

“Alright,” she nodded, a timid smile in her face. “Would you like some more time to… uh, look?”

You could feel your cheeks flaming as her gaze moved your direction. You quickly looked out the window, avoiding her eyes.

“Please,” Keanu replied with a smirk, and you felt his hand back on your hip. “I’d like the inspect the master bedroom a little more closely.”

“Just drop the keys at the lobby once you’re done,” she said, her eyes knowingly as she walked out of the loft.

Once the door closed, Keanu tugged you into his arms, his mouth seeking yours for a searing kiss.

“I hope you cleared your schedule because I’m planning on fucking you in each and every one of these rooms,” he said against your lips.

“I’m all yours,” you replied with a matching smirk, sucking on his bottom lip just to hear him grunt, his hands tightening over your hips.

“Don’t you forget it.”

xxx

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[100dad]

100 things that made me America’s Dad

#1 I had Sex. It is tough to be a Dad when you do not have a kid. Full credit due for invitro dads, for adoption dads, and stepdads. I am not trying to bash on anybody’s parade. I just did it the old-fashioned way. Had a lot of fun. It is a natural talent.

#2 I got my priorities in the right order.  It is not about me anymore. Faith. Wife. Kids. Then me. My hobbies take a back seat. The gym became less important.

#3 I made my marriage a priority.

#4 I made sure I could financially provide. Check income. Track expenses. Budget.

#5 Financially prepared for the future. College. Retirement. Big Purchases. House. Cars. Etc.

#6 I made sure I had a Will.

#7 I made sure I had Life Insurance.

#8 I recognized that I am now a role model. I should at least act like it.

#9 I stayed optimistic about everything. Because pessimism sucks.

#10 Made sure Mom and Dad are on the same team.

#11 My discipline game was on point. Strong, Firm, Reasonable.

#12 I protected my family.  From physical harm, spiritual harm, emotional harm, evil.

#13 I am thankful for everything. Where I was born. The people I have met. That guy that gave me an idea. The guy that said I couldn’t. The ones that said I could. To authors. To haters. To supporters. Everything. Everyone.

#14 I provide. A roof, food, and water. Stable home. Education. Unconditional love. Discipline. Consequences.

#15 Not rigid. I stay flexible. Not only in the sack. I’m not going to be rigid in my parenting. Times change. Kids have different personalities. I adjust accordingly.

#16 I shouldered the responsibility. And the blame.  All of it. I can handle it.

#17 I set the tone at home. It’s what a leader does.

#18 Made sure our family name means something in our community. How we carry ourselves and how we treat others.

#19 A good home life was more important than faking it on social media.

#20 I made sure our house was a home.

#21 I kicked ass at work. I tried to be the best. Because that is how you succeed.

#22 I prepare my kids for the real world. Age appropriately, of course.

#23 My values and morals are firm. I do not compromise on those.

#24 I put in the effort. Because this is too important to wing it.

#25 I became good at relationships. It’s amazing what being nice, reliable, and offering help will do for your reputation.

#26   Humbled myself because I realized my ego will be my downfall.

#27   Perspective was everything. I learned to put myself in other people’s shoes.

#28 Taught my kids about guns. If I am going to have them, we might as well make sure safety is taught and they do not become forbidden fruit.

#29 I reassessed who I hung out with. I wanted to elevate myself not be held back.

#30 This is who I took advice from. People who actually did what I wanted to do. Good Dads. Good businessmen who built from scratch.

#31 Time. Quality and quantity. I recognized its importance in raising a family. Time is everything.

#32 Let my kids be them. Not what I wish I had been. My Values and morals are firm but I let their personalities and talents bloom.

#33 I read books to my kids. Good bonding. Good teaching moments.

#34 I Play with my kids. Both when it was fun as they get older and when it was boring when they just laid there.

#35 I remain Calm under pressure. Cool heads prevail over emotional drama queens.

#36 I build up my kids’ confidence. Because self-esteem does not result from being crushed all the time.

#37 I give them frequent reality checks. If I’m going to be humbled…so will they. This isn’t a fairy tale.

#38 Created a stable home environment. Rules, routine, predictability.

#39 Realized how much these kids see and absorb…..and modified my behavior.

#40 I hated negativity. Still do.

#41 Vices – not for me. I can say no. I can handle stress. Drugs, alcohol, gambling, porn, tobacco….I make sure my mind is more powerful than temptation.

#42 My secret formula. Hard work + Good Decisions + Faith =Success

#43 Failing does not bother me. In fact, it oddly is fun for me.

#44 Plowed thru fears. Pushed forward. No, what-ifs.

#45 Live without regret. I do not want to be 90 wishing I had been a better dad or tried to make something of myself.

#46 Not afraid to make the unpopular decision because I know it is the right decision.

#47 I do not get painted into corners. If A and B are the only options. I find or create an option C.

#48 I am not afraid to get weird and step outside my comfort zone.

#49 I did not say the things I wanted to say when I was angry. Because I knew I would regret it and once those things are said they never really get taken back.

#50 Loved taking those scary leaps toward opportunities.

#51 Gave my kids independence and freedom as they earned it.

#52 I am not a helicopter dad. But I do verify the trust and freedoms I have allowed are worthy.

#53 Comparison was motivation, not depression. I was never envious, just inspired.

#54 Our house had RULES. Because structure is important.

#55 I refused to sacrifice my family to excel in my career.

#56 I let my kids fail…. a lot.

#57 Became okay with asking for help…. letting go of that ego thing.

#58 Actions were more important than words…. anybody can say the words.

#59 I didn’t make excuses, I just got things done.

#60 Willingness to do what others would not. I found there is much value in doing the things others find demeaning or too hard.

$61 I found the best balance is balancing over longer periods of time. Not day to day or even weekly. More seasonal.

#62 I gave myself reality checks. Check that ego.

#63 I realized how good I have it. And I did my best to soak in that contentment.

#64 Recognized my kids’ genetics and focused on their talents, skills, and personalities.

#65 Respect is important. Earning it & Giving it.

#66 Bravery is important. Super important. Stand up for what I genuinely believe in.

#67 Raising my kids to be fully functional adults.

#68 I used short-term tactics with long-term visions.

#69 Pushed my kids to be better, braver, stronger.

#70 Teach my kids everything I can about life, so they are prepared when they enter the real world without me.

#71 Recognized how important dads’ role is in the family.

#72 I document a lot. It’s great for memories. Reflection. Appreciation.

#73 I controlled my kids' influences. What they see, experience, hear.

#74 Strong man- Kind heart.

#75 The secret to a good life is simply being happy.

#76 I do my best. Give my best. Because effort is huge!

#77 Realized my wife was insanely important to our life.

#78 I drive our family value home repeatedly. No one and done. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.

#79 Started my own businesses giving us control of our lifestyle.

#80 Worked close to home because I hated the idea of traffic instead of family.

#81 Made big efforts to be incredibly involved in my kids’ lives. Even the not so fun things.

#82 We switched to homeschooling. More time. More freedom. More control of influences.

#83 Knew my priorities in life. Faith. Family. Work. Friends.

#84 Budgeting was a huge deal. Both of us stayed involved and adhered to it. Neither of us wasted our hard-earned money.

#85 I did not borrow money. No partners. No inheritance. All on my own. No scapegoats. No crutches.

#86 Willing to do unpopular things and go against the grain. Because going along with crowds seems so…. basic.

#87 Cared more about building a net worth than impressing people.

#88 Despite mediocre grammar skills I enjoy writing out my thoughts. Creates clarity and conviction!

#89 Never traveled as a kid, Limited travel as an adult= Strong desire to travel!

#90 Sold a valuable business to the right company at the right time. Luck helps. Luck seems to happen to people who work really hard and do the right things.

#91 Realized having cash and no debt gives you options and freedom and tremendous peace of mind.

#92 Set huge, big goals. Never achieved them totally. But when I came up short, I still did great!

#93 Never afraid of work…even hard work, willing to outwork everyone.

#94 My hobby was my family and work. I excelled at the 2 things I focused most on.

#95 Leaned heavily on my Faith. Put my worries, struggles, anxieties on shoulders bigger than mine.

#96 I knew I did not want to replicate the bad parts of my father …but I did want to replicate the good parts.

#97 Married a girl with the same values and morals as me. With similar goals. With similar ethics. With the same determination to work through bad times and build a good life.

#98 Looked at my ancestry and wanted to become a legend in my family. I wanted our name to really mean something.

#99 Lived a life that if someone wants to dig into it there is nothing to find. Squeaky clean.

#100 Wrote down our family values. This became our compass and roadmap.

100% Dad is currently on tour traveling the country promoting the 100% Dad brand. Townsend Russell is the Founder and Personality for 100% Dad. Townsend has been on the tour for over 15 months with his family with plans to continue until January 2023. Townsend sold his businesses and retired in 2019 and has been building 100% Dad and creating insane memories with his family along the way.

Find out more about 100% Dad on the website 100dad.com

Rep the brand on 100dad.com/shop

Follow on Insta @100Dad

Youtube channel 100% Dad

[dopescotlandwarrior]

Bluegrass-Chapter Two

                        A special thanks to @statell​ for your help and wisdom

The previous chapter on AO3

Chapter Two

Claire stood still with her cell phone crushing her ear and felt dizzy suddenly from holding her breath. She forced a ragged exhale and heard Michael come back to the phone.

“The water is negative Claire. It’s not the source.”

“Jesus, thank you, Michael. I don’t know how you did it so fast, but I am in your debt. One of the grains we sampled has a shiny, sweet coating that shouldn’t be there. I trust you above all others and will gladly pay whatever you want to test that. Can you do it today?”

“Yes. I will call later with what I find. Good luck Claire.”

Claire could hear the backhoe and ran to the sound where Jamie and his men were dragging the dead horses. She grabbed his arm and smiled, asking him to turn the water on as quickly as possible and watched him run for the water main.

Claire leaned over and held her knees until the wave of nausea lessened. Fraser tugged on her sleeve with a face full of worry and motioned for her to follow. Once in his opulent office, he closed the door against the noise and offered her a chair.

“Are we ready to make a call to the FBI?” Jamie let out a long breath, “I suppose a better question is can ye stay with us until this horror can be contained, Doctor Beauchamp.”

“Many horses are still too sick to rally on their own. I won’t leave them, Mister Fraser.”

Jamie connected with the local FBI office and explained what he knew as well as the hope to keep this crime from getting to the press until they could find the source of the poison. He clicked off.

“The track closes in two hours, that is all the time we have to normalize this place. I will finish hidin the dead horses and you can start the treatments, aye?”

“Forgive me for this question Mister Fraser, but how do you stay calm in the face of this disaster, knowing there is someone out there that wants to destroy you?”

“I didna do this if that’s what yer askin lass.”

“I’m sure it will be the first direction the agents take.” Claire watched his eyes for some hint of culpability, fear, or anything to suggest he knew about this. Humans were so impossible to read and that was truly frustrating right now.

“You don’t know me and your world is in the throes of a huge disaster, but I have a request, I have to get behind you on this. That means clearing my doubts. I am so sorry, but I want to touch your shoulder and it might take a few minutes.”

Jamie’s head jerked up with raised eyebrows quickly clouding over with anger. “I havna time.”

“Fine. I have no reason or inclination to believe you based on your professed innocence. I will save your horses and answer medical questions and that is the extent of it. I’ve already told you more than enough to hide your crime, tamper with the evidence, and even finish the job when you're ready. Good day, Mister Fraser.”

Jamie shot out of his chair and got between her and the door. “It sounded ridiculous, still does, I canna see how touchin my shoulder will help but go ahead if it's so important. Please, I need yer help, please touch anythin ye want.”

Claire was tired, exhausted actually, and feeling humans was a complicated endeavor. She placed her palm on his shoulder and tried for several minutes but all she felt was static, loud and obnoxious.

“Dammit!”

Claire reached for the light switch and the office went dark. She tried again, immediately feeling something strong pulling her somewhere she didn’t want to go. Sorrow deep enough to snuff out her life was just one step away. It took all her strength to break the contact with him and she threw herself at the wall trying to find the switch plate for the lights. She took huge gulps of air and tried to get away from him, from what she felt in him.

“Thank you, and I am with you, one hundred percent Fraser.”

Claire walked quickly toward the breeding stalls to check the mares and new baby. Something had to be done about the newborn, he was desperately alone and hungry. She mixed up a bottle and coaxed him to drink it. She had most of it down him before he detached and tried to run through the walls of his stall, crying loudly. Claire looked up at Jamie standing outside the stall door. She opened the door and giggled at him as the colt ran out and pressed into him.

“Well Fraser, welcome to motherhood.”

Rupert and Angus had pulled the dead horses into a heap in an outside corner behind the facility. Lye was used to cover the smell, followed by heavy plastic secured over them. Four feet of woodchips and sawdust buried the macabre scene and they quickly parked the backhoe in its usual place.

They dragged metal rakes up and down the aisles to rid the tire tracks from the vehicles driven into the facility and medical waste was collected into black trash bags and thrown into the roll-away dumpster. As the racetrack was closing for the day, they hoped it would be enough.

Claire led the two forensic teams into the grain rooms while explaining the poisoning of the horses, when the rooms were locked down, and the water being cleared of tampering. She also mentioned the need to keep this from the public until the person was caught. The teams worked fast and were clear of the buildings in forty minutes. Claire exhaled and leaned into the wall of a grain room.

She thought about what she felt from Fraser and wanted to sob her eyes out it was so devastating. When someone pressed an ice-cold double chocolate shake against her arm she nearly jumped out of her skin.

“Jesus Dustin, you scared the hell out of me! Yum…chocolate.” They rested on trunks and drank the shakes, speaking quietly about the treatments still needed and where the facility might go from here.

“It is not our mess to figure out, fortunately. When the treatments are done, we are done. Mister Fraser will figure all this out with the FBI. Look, I know you want to help but we have done all we can. Let’s finish and get out of here.”

Dusty looked at Claire like she didn’t have a heart, but he followed her to finish the treatments. He was quiet but his work was impeccable as always.

She wanted Dusty off the premises as soon as possible. If he was implicated in this horror story he would be banned from every school with a college of veterinary medicine even when he was cleared of any participation. He might think she was heartless, but she was actually protecting him.

Claire wanted to say goodbye to Fraser, but he was still sequestered in his office with FBI agents. The colt was nowhere to be found so she assumed he was pressed into Jamie inside the office. She finally knocked on his door and handed the agent a large warm bottle of milk.

Dusty had the motor running when Claire jumped into the passenger seat with a deep sigh. They were quiet for most of the trip until Dusty couldn’t hold it any longer.

“I feel terrible leaving them to fight this without our help.” Claire could see his crimson blush, so she knew it was a hard thing for him to say. She wished they had a closer relationship so she could speak freely about protecting his future.

“If you want to help them, try to figure out how someone could get all the horses to peak at the same time, or at least the same day. It boggles my mind how this could be done with the different weights, metabolic expenditures, and other factors too numerous to count. Did he do it this way so they couldn’t be saved? Or did he do it to torture?”

Dusty looked straight ahead at the road and spoke quietly, “couldn’t be saved? If there were five veterinarians in the facility when the first horse went down could they have saved him? If they had hours to think about the treatment could they have saved them? If they had two days to think and get ready could they have saved any of them?”

Claire was quiet, the answer was weighing heavily on her mind. She knew that Dusty struggled with accepting her gift, even when she had proven an exceptional perception, diagnosis, and treatment many, many times. He couldn’t explain it, nor did he believe in the supernatural, so he didn’t talk about it with her.

“Doctor Beauchamp, even a layman like me knew your mixing protocols would be unproductive if not lethal. There were only two vets with the backbone to deliver the cocktail, even after watching the miraculous recovery of the gelding.”

Dusty would not be put off by her silence. He pulled over and turned to lock into her eyes, it was time for answers.

“If you didn’t have specific information from the … horses themselves how could you know? Not answering? I’ll answer. It would mean you were the most reckless, and luckiest, person alive, or you understand them and communicate with them. Do you listen to my head too?”

“No! Stop it, Dustin! I know it’s hard to accept but I can’t hear people’s thoughts, it isn’t eavesdropping. They must want to communicate and tell me what’s happening. Do you believe me?”

Dusty pulled onto the road and there was no more talk about anything. He watched her climb the steps to her patio and disappear. He drove home wanting to climb under a rock for several days, just to feel normal again.

Claire looked at her wrinkled fingers after her twenty-minute shower. Her first look in a mirror after getting home was shocking because there was horsehair stuck to her skin under her chin. She looked like the bearded lady. Now clean, she decided to let the bluegrass pull her stress out tonight and headed for the patio to watch the sunset as her phone started ringing.

Claire approached the Information Desk at the zoo the next day to ask for the director. “Excuse me, I am meeting Bill Davis, can you tell him I’m here please?”

“Doctor Beauchamp, thank you for agreeing to come. He is right over here.”

Claire followed the zoo director to a large habitat with a twenty-foot drop to concrete around the entire thing. When she really looked at the actual land the animal was living on, it was scarcely larger than a cage. The director had misrepresented the tiger’s habit and quality of life. His describing the expanse of land the tiger lived on was exaggerated. The water for swimming was a bit larger than a birdbath. She really did not like this man after being lied to, but reminded herself she was here to save the tiger.

She was led to the prep room that attached to the tiger's domain where food was prepared, medical treatments were done, and weapons were kept for dealing with him. Claire had asked to sit where the tiger could get close to her if he wanted. When the director left, she pushed the chair away and sat on the floor. For the next hour, she sent him messages of greeting, sympathy, and desire to help each time their eyes met.

She laid down on the floor after an hour because the sun had moved in the sky and was now bathing her in warm light making her eyelids heavy. She only wanted to rest and show him a trusting posture. It would be an hour before her eyes opened again, giving the animal ample time to smell her and get comfortable with her presence. Claire felt the heat from the tiger but no fear and rose slowly so she didn’t startle him. This huge beautiful cat was only two feet from her laying with his back to her. Steel bars eight inches apart is all that separated them.

“Will you let me help you?” Her voice was almost a whisper. “Will you let me touch you? You are magnificent and beautiful.” She said each word while holding its meaning in her mind. “Why have you stopped eating? If you die the world will be without your beauty and spirit.” He pushed back into the bars and Claire touched his back. Thanking him and asking how she could help him.

Images filled her mind of him, another full-sized tiger, and babies, three of them. Like a slide show, she saw the affection they had for each other, playing in the sunlight, cuddling at night. The images continued until she asked him who they were. The images continued but now it was just him, and Claire’s happy heart rate slowed, making her feel miserable.

The zoo director had walked through the park grabbing handlers to come and see the tiger whisperer. He lied to them about watching someone with a gift that let her talk to animals. A reporter slipped into the group as they walked toward the tiger enclosure with the cameraman slipping in just before they entered the prep room. The director purposely pushed the door with enough force to make it crash into Claire’s special energy with the tiger, who then bolted. The cameraman had used a long-range lens to capture ten minutes of calm interaction between Claire and the tiger with several minutes of close up on her hands that were deep in his fur and their faces, both calm and serene.

She looked back with a flash of anger at the noisy interruption and noticed the camera that was trained on her. Most of the people had zoo uniforms on, except a lady who was now firing obnoxious questions about talking to animals. It finally hit Claire that this was a setup, but for what? She looked out at the tiger and saw his sudden distrust. She was furious. Pulling herself up to her feet she walked to the director, making it clear she was plenty pissed. The handlers moved away leaving him vulnerable as Claire approached looking like she would disembowel the lying piece of shit.

“What did you do with them?” She was an inch from his face, channeling the tiger's hatred of him. He leaned away from her acting like she was crazy telling people to call security. Claire had never felt this level of hatred, she wanted to tear him apart and pushed him into the wall savagely yelling her question again. “Where are they, his wife and babies, what did you do with them!”

The reporter asked more respectfully this time, wanting Claire to explain her question to him.

“A male, a female, and three babies lived here, as you shot him with a tranquilizer, he had to watch you shoot the others. One of the darts missed and stuck in wood over there. He watched you crate them up and remove them. Where are they!?”

The director seemed to have a shift in his energy and smiled wickedly at her while he straightened his posture and prepared to annihilate her for the news crew. He was being paid handsomely for this video that would expose her as a fraud. Piece of cake he thought.

“Clearly you are a fraud. There has never been more than that one tiger. You made the whole thing up. What a pity I was taken in by your lies about hearing the animals.”

He was feeling smug, calculating the trip he would take on the money this was earning him and he could hardly wait to be free of this disgusting place.

“Where are they?”

When the director saw security coming, he closed in on Claire wanting to shame her for the cameras. She cut him off with the question that finally brought a man in the back to his senses. “Why was he moved to this awful, tiny enclosure? Why did you take his pool away? Why did you change to the food he can’t stand? Why are you torturing him?

Claire was crying now because she spoke the emotions the tiger made her feel.

“You are insane. Babbling questions and threatening me. For the last time, there were no other tigers with him, and no one shot them with tranquilizers.”

“I did, on your order.” The man from the rear pushed forward so the director could see him. He went white in the face at the betrayal of his top handler.

Claire leveled her eyes on the director, “I will campaign from one side of Kentucky to the other until you get these tigers back and return him to the enclosure that was built for them.”

The senior handler who admitted to shooting the tigers pulled Claire away from the group who were now targeting the director with questions. He pulled her to the outside and walked right past security in the direction of the parking lot.

“I don’t know how you knew all that, but you were dead on with all of it, even the shot that missed. I’ve never been right with what he did and made me a part of, maybe I can help you fix this.”

Claire stopped abruptly and turned to the handler. “The director lied about everything to get me here today and I will deal with that, but please help the tiger. Find his family and give him meat again. And thank you for helping me in there.” She knew Dusty would be in front of her home waiting for her and she called for him to pick her up. She clicked off and took a deep breath before turning around to look back.

“Oh, you startled me, I have a ride coming so no need to wait with me.” The handler reminded her of Sam Elliot in looks and temperament. He really saved her today and she was grateful.

“That’s alright, humor an old man. And don’t you worry about the tiger, I’ll find his family.”

They chatted until she heard the low growl of her truck and wondered how to explain all this to Dusty.

Dusty picked up on her weird energy right away and wondered when they would get back to normal.

“When did you start treating the exotics Doctor B?”

“Someone lured me here today with lies about a sick tiger. The director asked me to comfort him then brought a news crew and a group of handlers to be disruptive and ask a bunch of questions. He tried to say I was crazy and lied about animal communication, but I learned enough from the tiger to …”

Dusty pulled to the side of the road and just stared at her. “Doctor B I feel like our well-ordered lives are coming apart. Why is this happening and are you alright?”

“Yes. I am not hurt. Whatever the director’s intentions were, one of the older handlers corroborated everything the tiger said.”

Dusty looked up at the woman he respected most in the world, “tigers can’t talk Claire. Just tell me one thing, do you think this is related to Highland Brothers and what happened yesterday?”

“There is no question in my mind.”

They both seemed to slip into autopilot to get through the afternoon. Dusty grabbed Claire’s keys out of her hand and bolted up the stairs to her home. Claire was really shocked by his behavior and found him going room to room making sure no one was there.

“See ya tomorrow Doctor B.”

Once she could sit quietly, alone on her patio, all the particulars of the day came back to mind. She pieced it all together and shot off her chair to turn the news on. She clicked through the local news channels for almost an hour, happy she was wrong until she heard her name and slowly raised her head. She watched the video of her and the tiger, taken covertly without her permission. Next was her shouting at the zoo director and the handler coming forward. The news anchor was in voice-over asking for anyone with information about the kidnapped tigers to call the station.

Claire sat stunned on her rocking chair trying to decide if this was a good thing or something that would hurt her career. If she had to defend herself against any allegations of misrepresentation it would hurt Dustin. She felt a tear roll out of her eye and wished again she had allowed a closer friendship with Dustin. Then he would understand why she had to fire him.

Claire had never considered her life without Dustin. She came to Kentucky after graduation to work with racehorses and he was the first person who showed up for an interview. He was spit-shined and creased and could hardly answer the questions with the layers of respect and polite behavior she was getting. She liked him from the start and after a long walk in the woods where he calmed down enough to converse with her, she hired him, and they became the dynamic duo. His trust in her staggered the mind. It was more than blind obedience, he trusted her diagnosis and jumped to execute her treatments, no matter how crazy they were. After all that devotion she would cut him loose tomorrow, to save him.

Jamie closed his office door feeling complete relief the FBI agents were finished with the questioning, lie detectors, fingerprinting, and hours of pictures he was asked to view, looking for someone who worked for him. He was completely exhausted when he turned around heading for his overstuffed chair banging into the colt that never left his side.

“Jesus lad, do ye have to be up my butt all the time?”

The colt pressed harder against him feeling insecure. This poor baby was three days old thinking he had a Scottish mother built like a linebacker with a terrible temper.

“It’s alright laddie, I love ye. Once a mare drops ye’ll become a twin with no one the wiser. Things will be easier for ye then.” His warm hand stroked the colt while his low voice was soothing the nervousness. “I am ready to get drunk and sleep for two days, will ye be good for yer temporary mam Angus?”

Jamie pointed the remote at the television and offered the colt a bottle as he relaxed into his chair. He was busy with a fussy colt when Claire’s face filled the screen and he almost missed it, looking back just in time to see her attack a man, shouting questions at him. His heart almost stopped as he scrambled to call the newsroom asking where the broadcast could be viewed on the internet. Thirty minutes later he struggled to make the call he promised to make.

Jamie called the agent in charge of his case and told him what happened. It was obviously connected to what happened to the horses. Claire was lured to the zoo to treat a sick tiger and then ambushed and filmed so she would lose her credibility to testify on his behalf. He slammed the phone and called Doctor Beauchamp from his cell.

Claire tossed and turned for an hour. When her cell phone rang, she was almost relieved to have an excuse to get up. She looked at Jamie’s name and answered.

“That was quite a broadcast tonight Doctor Beauchamp. Is that how ye healed my horses so fast? They told ye what was wrong did they”

“Something like that.”

“I have to be honest Sassenach, I don’t believe it, but I do believe it was a setup at the zoo to discredit you and that means the man responsible has surfaced, in a way. I had to let the FBI know about this Claire, but I wanted to warn you they are coming.”

“What? Do they think I had something to do with this and why do you call me that?"

“No, I’m sure they don’t. They just want to find a link back to the killer. It won’t take long.”

Claire waited for the rest of his answer.

"Because yer British with a strong accent. It means outsider, not in a bad way, you just are."

Claire looked up at the flashing red light on her ceiling and nearly jumped out of her skin from the banging on her door. She had just enough time to dress after Fraser’s call and suddenly felt terrified. She waited, hoping they would leave. The knocking got harder and Claire willed them away. Her door flew open with splintering wood raining down on her while big men in riot gear ran in and pushed her to the ground. Claire was crying as someone’s knee pressed her face into the wood floor and snapped handcuffs on her wrists. She cried Dusty’s name into the floor before they yanked her to her feet. She could see her door hanging from the one remaining hinge as they drove away.

For the rest of the night, they brutalized her with continuous questioning. The interrogators would be replaced with fresh agents that would continue the questioning forcing her to wake up and withholding water when she begged for it. When she passed out from exhaustion, they threw her into a cell and left her there in solitary confinement. She was not given food, or water, and saw not a single person. She had never been so scared in her life.

Jamie looked up at the clock and dialed Claire again. She had not answered all day and it was three in the afternoon. Before he clicked off his door swung open banging into the wall so a stone-faced Dusty could walk to Jamie’s desk. He held out his cell phone to Jamie and played the video he took of Claire’s shattered front door.

“Where is she, Mister Fraser? What have you done with her?”

Jamie glanced at the video. “Sweet Jesus.”

Dusty lowered his eyes to Jamie’s with a murderous look.

“I know nothin of this lad, but we are leavin now to find her. Let’s go.”

Jamie whistled for his men while he threw a rope around the colt’s neck handing it to Rupert before he ran to catch up with Dusty. He jumped in the truck giving instructions to the FBI building in a nearby town. It took an hour to get there and Dusty was coming apart at the seams. When he wouldn’t respond to Jamie he was held down into his seat by powerful arms and an angry face an inch from his.

“Listen, lad!” Jamie growled. “She is in that building but if you go in there half-cocked it may be days before we get her. Understand? Do not talk. Sit where they tell ye and let me get her.”

Two hours later, Claire felt warm arms lift her off the concrete floor. Her teeth chattered from the fifty-degree cell and she moaned from her cracked lips. Dusty walked desk to desk writing the names of the agents who took two hours to find her until every agent was concealing their concern with anger.

Jamie held Claire against his warmth and climbed the stairs seeing Dusty’s eyes go wide. “Let's go lad. She needs to warm up quick as possible, drive to the forty-five and go East back to the compound.” Jamie watched the stone-faced lad carry out each request like a robot and his heart broke for him. Jamie pointed all the heat vents at Claire in his lap. Her teeth stopped chattering and she wrapped her arms around Jamie pulling his heat closer. She was desperate for warmth and couldn’t know what she was doing but Jamie felt the invasive movement like a jolt of lightning. He held her close and Dusty stared straight ahead not saying a word.

Jamie pointed the way to his house that was set back, deep in a bordering meadow. The house was large with lots of extra bedrooms. Claire was covered with quilts and drained every cup of water offered. Jamie told her the short version of Dusty crashing into his office demanding to know where she was. She smiled at Dusty then winced at the pain of her cracked lips. Her door was closed, and the house went dark and quiet. The only movement was Dusty who made it back to her room to check on her. It appeared the whole bed was shaking making him fear for her.

Jamie was pulled out of sleep by the knocking on his bedroom door. He opened the door to Dusty, eyes downcast and asking for his help. Jamie felt for the boy and promised to cover her with more blankets.

“Go to bed lad. I’ll take care of it.”

Jamie slid into the bed behind Claire and pulled her against his chest. His legs pushed into her from behind and his arms wrapped around her.

“No need to fret, lass. This is the fastest way to warm up and I owe ye this and much more for what ye endured.”

It took some time, but she finally stopped shaking. Deep in the night, Jamie woke to her crying. He pulled her close and stroked her cold arm until she was asleep again.

Before dawn, Claire was jolted awake by a big hand moving down her hip and thigh. Once she remembered where she was the pleasure of that hand took control and silenced her as she gave in to the exquisite feeling. Anywhere he touched her sent electric currents in both directions until his body went rigid as he jerked awake. Claire was awake, but she was a dead ringer for a woman in deep sleep.

Jamie was horrified when he woke up to his traitorous hands molesting a woman he hardly knew, with her lovesick assistant in the next room, and his fiancé on a plane over the Pacific coming home. He was so freaked out he jumped out of bed and shot back to his own room.

“Christ. I must be losin my mind.” Jamie showered and dressed for another grueling day, passing Dusty’s empty room on his way out. The bed was neatly made, and the room was possibly cleaner than it was before the kid closed himself into it. Seeing a note on the bed he pushed it under Claire’s door. Dusty left early to fix her door, he would come and get her when she called.

Jamie looked to the sun rising as he drove a back road to the compound. He found it amusing he even noticed the sun this morning. It’s those two, he thought, like they both stepped out of a Norman Rockwell painting when people were presumed good and godly, and followed a moral code, prayed for each other, and waved to everyone they saw. He chuckled at the thought. In his mind, Jamie watched Claire place her hands on the gelding’s face with so much compassion in her eyes it almost made him cry. His eyes slammed open and he skidded to a stop on the dirt road.

“Holy Christ. Right after that, she told the kid what to mix up and the gelding seemed cured right before my eyes. This is what happens when insanity sets in. Ye believe in miracles and talk to ye’self on the way to work.”

Jamie dropped the truck into gear and barreled toward the compound looking straight ahead like he had blinders on. He was so tense walking into the building he almost exploded when Angus came around the corner and said good morning.

“Jamie boy what’s got ye so amped up this morning?” Angus was smiling his toothless grin. “The agents are waitin for ye.”

“Come with me please, I need a witness. Where is Rupert?”

“Havin a wee talk with yer son who refuses to drink his milk this mornin.”

Jamie shook his head at Angus’s reference and turned the other direction.

“Fuck them, they can wait.”

Angus knew enough not to ask but stayed close to Jamie hoping he might slip up and explain what was bothering him today. As if the attempted murder of all the horses wasn’t enough. Angus and Rupert figured out what Jamie had yet to speak of. The barn was only a third full when the horses started getting sick. The rest were running that day or were boarded with their trainer during the racing season. Later in the day, the horses that were coming back from the track seemed perfectly healthy. The thirty-eight horses that were sick or dead were owned in part, or in full, by Jamie.

Jamie stroked the colt as he finished the bottle of milk and thought about the sadistic FBI agents who tortured an innocent, locking her in a room with no cot, and no chair, just very cold concrete. He felt anger so deep it made his hands shake and the colt abandoned his milk to push his head into Jamie’s stomach looking for comfort. Jamie exhaled his stress and tried to relax. They may not have broken any laws keeping her under those conditions, but they certainly broke his trust and confidence in the FBI. “Highland justice will be comin for ye lads.”

Claire opened her eyes and stretched in the most luxurious sheets. A note from Jamie told her to use his shower and eat all she wanted from the kitchen. She giggled and decided the forty-minute ride for Dustin to get there gave her plenty of time to enjoy a bit more of this luxury.

Standing under the hot water was heaven and she looked through the bottles of body wash and shampoo of which there were many, only finding one for men. So, Mister Fraser has a woman, I wonder where she is, she thought. The bathroom filled with hot steam and lovely scents as she pushed the door open and reached for a towel. Drying off her face and eyes she opened them wide to see a woman standing four feet in front her looking very like a raging bull.

“Who…the fuck…are you!”

[akp-1327]

dear diary // chapter eight

Hellooo! I’m alive, I swear! Just wanted to thank y’all for all the support and patience. I know I fell out of the loop with updates, though I absolutely love that you all like this series and are sticking around for it! It seriously makes my day to receive such kind feedback! Anyway, enough from me. Here’s the next chapter! <3

As always, find the series masterlist here (Tumblr) or here (AO3) to catch up! :)

Pairings: Ajay Bhandari x f!MC (Charlotte Parker), Skye Crandall x f!OC (Leila Maciel)

Word Count: 5.3k

(*) Warnings: mentions of divorce and minor injuries (nothing graphic)

(A cynical Ajay is always a great time, right? ;)

Holy crap.

It was wild being back here.

Did I feel like an alien right when I walked through the door? Absolutely. The whole house just felt different. It lost the usual homey feeling and, instead, felt foreign. The squeak of the wooden steps beneath my feet didn’t even sound the same as it used to.

Mohit and I started to make our way upstairs after Charlotte retreated to the bathroom, the door closing softly behind her. A rare silence fell between us and, finally, I was able--

"Oh my god, Ajay. You brought a girl over. A girl who isn’t your girlfriend?" Mohit teased, poking my arm as we walked down a short hallway. 

So much for silence. Oh, and when Mo said that? I blushed. Profusely. Still, I had to put on a neutral face and hope that my sudden sheepishness didn’t shine through.

"Since when are you an expert on romance?" I quipped, rolling my eyes before I shot him a teasing look. "Do you have something to tell me, Mo? Maybe something about a future sibling-in-law?"

Mohit instantly reeled back in disgust. "Eww! No!"

God, I missed this kid. I ruffled his hair and looked around at the room we wound up in. It had been my dad’s old office, but since the divorce, it just sat there useless (well, so I thought?). All of his stuff stayed because he had to downsize for that stupid little Manhattan apartment, so I guess Mohit took it over. It was littered with soda cans and empty candy wrappers, but smelt like the clean linen Febreeze that Amma spritzed around the house on an everyday basis.

It's been too, too long since I’ve been here. I knew I should’ve been here the past few summers.

I shook the recurring thoughts away and turned back to my brother, who seemingly grew a whole two feet since I last saw him. Crazy.

"It's okay to have a crush, Mo. There's no sense in hiding it. You know I'll find out eventually."

(I guess I could say the same to myself.)

Dismissing the subject entirely with a shake of his head, Mohit let out a dramatic sigh. "What're we doing up here, again? Hiding from Amma and Jim?"

That was such a villainous way to put it. Obviously, though, he was right. I didn't want to see Jim all lovey-dovey with Amma. Now that was gross.

"Just Jim," I responded, "which is why you will go down and greet him first when the time comes. I need to talk to Charlotte before I say hello."

Mohit wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. “Oh, I I bet. Through some smooooches--”

I mercilessly smacked him upside the head...but, out of some decency, it wasn’t as hard as I wanted it to be.

"Oh dear god, Mo. We aren't going to do anything but talk."

"Hmm," Mohit hummed, still sounding suspicious, "if you say so..."

Just then, before I could respond, Charlotte appeared at the doorway with her arms folded. "Hey. I'm not interrupting any guy talk, am I?"

Mohit laughed, but I chose to ignore it. 

"No, you're not interrupting anything. Come on in." I smiled. I hoped my voice sounded normal because I couldn’t seem to get her out of my head. Thanks, Mohit.

Oh my god...so much for keeping my distance from her...

She walked in and instantly made herself at home on the couch. I mindlessly followed and sat on the opposite side while Mohit (disappointingly) squished himself in the middle with a proud grin.

"Now what?" Charlotte asked, her eyes flitting over to mine. They were such a beautiful blue that reminded me of the ocean. Though, before I could drown myself in the feeling and become overwhelmed, I looked at Mohit's ponder instead.

"It won't take much time for Amma to tell Jim that Ajay's here, so I don’t think we’ll have time to do much." Mohit shrugged. "Well, depending how long you guys stay."

I looked back up to Charlotte, willing myself to hold her gaze this time around before her eyes met mine again. My stomach tied in on itself with just a glance, and that was just due to her eyes. When she smiled, my heart started to race. Pound, even. It was so loud in my ears that I could barely hear her response.

"That’s okay. What about that comic collection you were talking about earlier?" Charlotte grinned, sending me a discreet wink that left me stumbling over my thoughts even further.

"Yeah! You absolutely need to see--" Mohit rambled before I clamped a hand over his mouth. He was not going to interrupt this moment for me with another one of his obsessions. Her eyes were still on mine, her gaze soft. It was such a perfect moment. 

"Let's do it." I said, not looking away from her. In result, I watched her face redden a bit and her smile brighten, if that was even possible.

As much as I loathed Mohit’s (extremely boring and stereotypical) comics, I guess I could tolerate them for a little while. So long as Jim doesn’t know I’m here, we were alright.

*

*

Mohit finished up explaining his entire suitcase of comics before I heard a faint squeak from the stairs. I decided to lean against the threshold of Mo’s room while he and Charlotte geeked out over his Batman collection, but I immediately regretted the choice when I felt a small hand on my shoulder.

“Ajay, sweetie,” Amma whispered, “I told Jim that you’re here.”

My entire frame tensed at his name, but I held in my scowl. Instead, I let out a heavy sigh that caught both Mohit and Charlotte’s attention.

“He’ll be downstairs waiting when you three are ready. He’s watching a game of cricket.” Amma smiled before making her way back downstairs. 

“I’m missing it! Jim, you liar!” Mohit shouted before sprinting out of the room and thundering down the stairs. You could hear a faint thump and a brief yelp at the bottom.

For moments after that, it was silent in Mo’s room, though my mind raced with all of the possibilities. All of the worries. All of the fears.

Admittedly, I’ve had these looming fears for years, but they’d gone dormant the more time I spent away from home. I’ve always thought that I was the one who caused all of this turmoil within my family because of my college expenses - which, to say, is a lot of green - and that I could’ve avoided it entirely. Amma would never say that I’d caused them immense debt to my face, and neither would Dad. 

But, to be real, they didn’t have to.

I can distinctly remember the night before they broke the news. It was during the last few weeks of high school and I had been doing math homework angrily. I was stressed and because math was a spawn from the deepest depths of hell, it wasn’t something I wanted to spend my time on. My pencil bolted across the paper, sometimes squeaking with how hard I’d been writing. After a while, though, I realized the squeaks were turning into coherent words.

Yelling, coming from the kitchen downstairs.

It was maddening to hear, so I tried to tune it out as usual, but then I heard the three familiar words come up: “the college money”.

I dangerously decided to bring it up at breakfast the next morning and apologize; it felt like the only thing I could do. Amma swooped in to shoo away the apology seconds after it tumbled out of my mouth...while Dad only sat there. She was the one who encouraged me while my dad sat on the sidelines, like always. 

That’s really when I realized that my mom was tired of it. Tired of being the only one to give a damn about anything happening in our lives. So she put an end to her problem and filed for divorce. They told me only a few minutes after I’d brought up their fight.

To this day, I feel like I was the hearth. The origins of it all, only because of my desperation for success. To become someone who left a small stamp on this chaotic world.

“Ajay?” Charlotte asked from across the room, snapping me from my thoughts. Her eyes were slanted with concern, and the emotion only grew when I didn’t respond.

With Charlotte around, I felt like I could be my own person. Not be the person who’s parents divorced because of him and not the snarky director. I could be myself with her without having to feel any guilt or shame. This is why I wanted to keep her close; she was the only person who understood what it felt like to be judged. To be an outsider. To be distinctly different from everyone else. 

She was starting to seem like my other half, and as days passed, I noticed that the feeling was only growing stronger. That scared me to death, especially if she decided to do the show. Then I’d really have to call this off and protect myself. 

I’m not going to put myself through hell again.

“Ajay,” Charlotte shouted, her eyes now amused. I cleared my throat and shook my head to clear the thoughts away. “You okay?” 

With a quick nod and an extremely unconvincing smile, I gestured for her to follow me out the door.

“Just fine, um,” I said, my racing thoughts never slowing. Forming coherent sentences with a jumbled-up brain never had a good outcome, so I let my thoughts organize themselves for a moment before responding. “Let’s go downstairs before Amma nags us again.”

She nodded and hesitantly followed me out of the room. I tried to relax with a deep breath, but that just felt like suffocation. So I did not do that again in fear that I’d pass out or embarrass myself even more.

Once we got downstairs, I felt a rush of panic course through my veins.  Charlotte noticed my missing presence and stopped.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” She asked softly, worry flooding her eyes as she turned to me. I searched them for the longest second of my life, and finally, let myself take an actual deep breath.

“Yeah, sorry.” I sighed, shaking my head, “I just really don’t want to do this. It’s...”

Charlotte lit up with a small smile for a moment before it disappeared. “You don’t have to explain. I get it.” Then, without any semblance of warning, she quickly wrapped her arms around me and held me in a tight embrace.

This felt nice. My arms found their way around her small frame after a few seconds, trying to reciprocate the vice-like grip she had around me. I felt her head rest against my shoulder, and for a moment, this felt...natural. It was the same feeling as holding her hand for the first time back at the party.

“You’ll be alright. Just remember to breathe and you should make it through without a scratch,” Charlotte smiled before pulling away slowly, “but you’re making them wait, old man. C’mon.”

I missed her warmth, and I think it showed. She laughed, stepping into my space again. The sound put me at ease, so much so that I lost control of myself and glanced down at her lips. They were a velvety pink, layered in a thin veil of lip balm. From this close, I could tell it was infused with peppermint.

God, I am a sucker for anything peppermint--

No, I thought to myself, you can’t do that. You shouldn’t hurt yourself more. She doesn’t feel the same!

With great strength, I stepped away entirely. Charlotte looked confused, so I gave her a relaxed smile to show that I was okay. It was weird to have someone other than Rory to help calm me down - it was alleviating to be able to confide in someone else.

“Right, because we’re missing a cricket game. I’m devastated!” I sighed, a slight humorous twinge in my tone. I could tell she picked it up when she giggled and slipped her hand into mine.

“You are such a dork...” Charlotte teased, shaking her head and squeezing my hand reassuringly. Every time she held my hand, my heart would stop. Of course this time wasn’t an exception, but in this moment, I squeezed back.

*

*

It’d been at least fifteen minutes since Charlotte and I silently slipped into the living room. We stood very close to the exit in case I had to make a mad dash to the car.

Jim was completely oblivious to our presence before Amma discreetly took the remote off the coffee table and paused the game of cricket. My heart dropped when he looked to my mom...then, following her gaze, looked right into my eyes.

All the feelings I’d pushed down years ago - disappointment, guilt, anger, confusion - started to emerge the longer our gazes were tied. However, this seemed to be a one way street of thought. He smiled at god-awful smile at me, the same one that probably lured my mom in. Disgusting.

“Well, if it isn’t the college boy,” Jim grinned, standing and making his way over to stand in front of me and holding his fist out, “how’s it going?”

Swallowing my pride (well, er, attitude), I gave Jim a tight-lipped smile, trying to hide my grimace as I forced my fist to bump his. It was really bad acting on my part, but I don’t think he had enough of a functioning brain cell to notice.

“It’s been...going okay, I guess.” I said, willing my teeth to not grit against each other; that’d make the entire situation worse. Amma’s eyes had already caught mine over his shoulder and she had shaken her head disapprovingly at my attitude. Jim, however, was completely oblivious to the action and turned his attention to Charlotte instead.

“You must be Charlotte,” Jim said, his usual warm smile brightening and his hand extending for her to shake. It made me want to hurl. “Shruti told me that you’re one of Ajay’s friends from NYU?”

Charlotte, thankfully, was her normal kind self as she shook his hand. “That’s me! Nice to meet you, Jim. Ajay’s said nothing but good things about you.”

She caught my eye and gave the slightest wink.

“Oh! Well, that’s nice to hear. Why don’t you guys come and sit? There’s plenty of couch space to go around...”

Amma gestured to the small loveseat-like sofa on the far side of the living room, and of course, gave me her all-too-familiar teasing eyes. She really was looking to embarrass me.

Before I had the chance to retaliate, Charlotte walked over and sat politely. She waved me over, and so with a sigh, I sat next to her with a now-familiar heat in my cheeks. It wasn’t the fact that I was sitting next to her that made me coy, but rather that I was in my childhood house with a man - who wasn’t my father - now cuddling my mother. It was weird and made me beyond uncomfortable, and then add in how the girl I liked was seated right next to me...I was just a mess.

“So, um, I heard that the two of you are getting married?” Charlotte piped up after a few moments of silence. My eyes met Mo’s across the room and I could immediately tell he was tuning out of the conversation. Honestly, the idea didn’t sound so bad.

“March seventh of next year!” Amma beamed, showing off her left hand. A small ring on her ring finger sparkled in the light, and I could just feel a tsunami of hurt crash right over me. I don’t care how long it’s been since the divorce. It still hurts as much as it did a few years ago.

“That’s exciting. How has the planning been going?” Charlotte asked, trying to keep the conversation light; her voice was soft, but it was serious. It was missing her usual preppy tone, which to say, was odd.

I heard Amma talking, but I decided to tune out of the conversation.

Of course I was happy for Amma. I was glad that she found her happiness and that she could find someone else. My problem, however, was what she settled for. Jim wasn’t anything interesting. A dentist that enjoyed the outdoors and European sports - so what? Amma has always been an adventurous and bold woman, so why’d she decide on someone so...bland? My dad was an adrenaline junkie that won her heart with a simple motorcycle ride into the sunset. 

How do you go from that...to Jim? In what world does that make sense?

In my opinion, no one likes the dentist and you’d have to be crazy to go hiking by a will of choice. Mother Nature was one hell of a force to mess with, and to put your life in her unpredictable hands willingly? You’d have to be danger levels of psycho.

Plus, it didn’t help that Amma and Jim got together only a month after the divorce. It was like the crappy cake holding the crappy frosting and crappy toppings. 

I hated, and still do hate, their relationship with a burning passion.

After the thoughts and discussions of their wedding (more so the thought of my mom officially being his) the house felt stuffy. The walls looked like they were closing in on me. I felt like I couldn’t breathe.

I needed to get out. Fast.

Why didn’t I stay by the door...

“...and then the venue’s gardens. Oh, they are to die for! Just div--” Amma sighed wistfully before I cleared my throat, catching everyone’s attention.

“Um, sorry to cut this whole reunion short, but Charlotte and I have some stuff to do back at school.” I said, keeping any emotion out of my voice. Amma knew me too well; she’d be able to sniff out that lie like a bloodhound if I added any sort of emotional flair.

Charlotte’s eyes scanned mine for a brief second before she nodded. “We were gonna go shopping at a store outside the city to get some dorm stuff.”

I guess she really is good at improv. Huh. Well, in any case, the white lie worked.

“Oh! Alright. Don’t let us keep you. Traffic is terrible at this time of day,” Amma rambled, quickly standing and immediately going to the kitchen. The rustling of plastic and the closing of cabinets was all I heard before she came back into the living room. “Take some of these off of our hands!”

She handed us a Tupperware container filled with some of my favorites: Italian Pizzelle cookies. Amma always had them stocked in the house for some odd reason.

“Dammit, Amma.” I said, trying my hardest not to let my smile get too big. “You give me these every single time I visit!”

Her arms wrapped around me tightly, “I do. And I want that container back, so visit soon.” Amma’s eyes flicked over to where Charlotte was, laughing along with Mohit about what I could only presume to be comics, “Oh, and bring her, too.”

“Oh my god--” I groaned in exasperation, rolling my eyes when she lightly hit me from where her hand was on my shoulder.

“I can see that look in your eye, Ajay. Don’t even bother acting like you don’t like her, it’ll be a waste of your time.”

Sigh. She has a point. 

“Instead...maybe you could make a move?” Amma whispered, pulling away and slightly angling her head in Charlotte’s direction. “I can see the same look in her eyes, too.”

Reflexively, I looked over at Charlotte again and found her staring at me. When our eyes met, she hurriedly looked away while a faint rose tinted her cheeks, her hands coming up to tighten her ponytail in almost an embarrassed manner.

Adorable.

“Okay, go,” Amma sighed, “say goodbye to Jim, otherwise those cookies aren’t leaving this house.”

With a nod and an invisible eye roll, I strolled over to Jim and held out my hand. It wasn’t my favorite thing in the world, but it was a lot better than him smushing me against his chest in a bear hug. The thought alone gave me chills.

“It was nice seeing you today, sport,” Jim said, gripping my hand firmly and shaking it, “come over again soon. We miss having you around here, especially Mohit.”

“Uh, right. Nice seeing you too, Jim.”

No, no it was not.

Before I could even step away from Jim, Mohit barreled right into me.

“You need to come over more often,” Mohit whined, “next time I see you I should crash at your dorm!”

“No, no,” I immediately responded, still returning his embrace. “I’ll be over soon, Mo. I promise.”

With that, he let go and turned to give Charlotte a hug. “See you soon, Charlotte!”

Charlotte gave a giggle, her cheeks still recovering from her blush only a few moments before. She happily returned his hug.

“See you soon, Mohit. Behave, or the comics get it.” Charlotte said before they both broke out into another fit of giggles. Jeez, maybe introducing these two was a bad idea. Wait, correction; introducing these two was a bad idea.

Now that they’d bonded and actually get along...what am I going to do?

*

*

The ride back was quiet, save for a small periodic hum from Charlotte as she watched the scenery outside the passenger window. It was a comfortable silence, but I could tell she had something on her mind.

“You’re eerily quiet,” I said softly, keeping my eyes on the road, “what’s up?”

I knew I went too far, dammit! I’m such a--

“Well, Leila texted me earlier...” Charlotte sighed. From the corner of my eye, I watched her shrink back into her seat. “She apologized and mentioned that something’s up with Skye.”

“That only took a million years.” I said, trying to make her smile. Thankfully she took it as intended and laughed lightly.

“Tell me about it. Anyway. I didn’t want to tell you back at your mom’s house. You looked...tense. I didn’t want to trouble you further.”

Tense was one word for it, for sure. Also, why is she the sweetest?

“My mom’s boyfriend, er, fiancé has never been my favorite person. He tries too hard when he talks to me, makes me feel like I’m not really welcome at home anymore.” I said, careful to not reveal too much. She does have good advice, but she’s already going through so much turmoil herself...

“That’s terrible.” Charlotte frowned, readjusting herself to sit properly in her seat. I could tell she turned towards me as she did so. “He seems nice, but you obviously have more experience with him, so why is he so bad?”

Of course she’d want to know. She was curious in that way.

“He’s a dentist, likes boring sports, enjoys the outdoors...” I grumbled, my hand mindlessly tightening on the wheel, “he took my dad’s place, though he’s just so bland and boring. It irks me.”

“Wait, so you don’t like him because he’s boring? Out of all of the qualities in a person to hate, you chose boring?” Charlotte squeaked, her voice going up an octave out of pure curiosity and slight humor. “Would you rather her date a random, stuck-up billionaire from...like...Hollywood? With a name like Blaze or Lazer, maybe even Blazer?”

“I don’t think the odds of--”

“Oh my god, Ajay, just answer the question!” Charlotte laughed. I rolled my eyes fondly and sighed. 

“Probably not.” I answered, arching a questioning eyebrow at her. “Materialistic people are usually assholes unless you schmooze them and give them opportunities to get even more money.”

“Exactly.” Charlotte smiled. “So I think Jim is an alright. It’s obvious that you don’t agree, though.”

I knew she was right. I knew I’d been cornered and that it was almost impossible to prove another opposing point. Just by this information, anyone could tell that she knew what she was doing. Was I even supposed to act annoyed? I was impressed, and I didn’t know how I could compliment her on it without coming off too strong.

Why are feelings so complicated...

Why can’t I just work up the courage--

Why did she have to be a theater kid...

“Yeah, it was that way for a while.” Was all I could say; the phrase was brief, but the sentiment was the same. I appreciated that she gave me another perspective.

It was silent after that; nothing awkward, but nothing too comfortable.

“What’s been going on with you?” I asked, willing my voice to stay steady. That sounded so awkward...

“What about?” Charlotte hummed, not seeming to notice my nerves. “Like, with Leila, or Skye, or the diner, or--”

“The diner,” I said, calmer this time, “have you heard anything?”

Out of the corner of my eye, I watched her shake her head briefly.

“Absolutely nothing, but if I had to guess, things haven’t changed. My mom said she’d call me with updates, but I haven’t gotten any calls or texts from her in a while. It’s weird.”

I nodded, trying to focus on the road ahead. This was usually an easy task, but with Charlotte next to me, it became...almost impossible. Infuriatingly so. With Kelly, I could control this. She didn’t make me blush as much. She didn’t make me smile or laugh as much. She didn’t make me this nervous.

Just when I thought I knew what romance was, after Kelly, the rug just had to be ripped out from beneath me. This only proves how difficult life can be.

I had a high tolerance for everyday annoyances. Having a composure of steel was in a director’s job description. I had to put up with nonsense and chaos on a daily basis...but I’ve never had my patience tested quite like this.

“Now you’re too quiet.” Charlotte teased. I felt her poke my arm. “Spill.”

My eyes flitted over to check my mirrors; rear, left, right. Though, when I looked to the right, I caught Charlotte studying me intently, her eyes slightly narrowed and her lips pursed.

“I’m just thinking,” I sighed. 

About you.

“About anything interesting?”

You.

“Not really, no. Just...school.”

Liar.

*

*

We got back to Lafayette and, to me, the air felt even heavier. It was still hard to breathe, especially now that I was thinking of the visit and Charlotte. It was a deadly combo.

Even the Tupperware container of cookies in my hands felt heavy. 

“Thank you for inviting me today,” Charlotte said, slowly walking towards a staircase. I could feel her familiar warmth that’d been next to me all morning fade and immediately wished for it to come back. Though, the more I wished, the further away she ventured.

“Thank you for coming with. It was...really nice to have someone there with me.” I said, leading her to blush a bit under my gaze.

“Of course! I hope you get everything sorted out soon. In the meantime, feel free to talk with me. I’m here for you.” Charlotte grinned, sticking her hands in her pockets after she gave me a quick wave. In response, I nodded; leading her to take off. “See you later!”

“Bye,” I said quietly, though she was already too far away to hear me. She disappeared up the stairs a few moments later.

Time passed; I stood there for a good five minutes before I was bumped into from behind. God, the audacity of some people...

“Oh, sorry,” A familiar voice piped from next to me. I was adjusting my glasses on my nose when I met their eyes - her eyes - and my eyes widened in both surprise and concern.

“Skye?”

Her eyes were red and puffy. Along with that, she had a few faint, purple bruises forming just along her jawline and on the right side of her nose. Before I could find any other injuries, she looked away. I realized she was carrying a large garment bag in her arms.

“Hey, Ajay. Uh, I...gotta...go.” Skye rushed, her voice unsteady with emotion. Out of habit, I called out her name again as she made a beeline towards the same staircase Charlotte disappeared into. 

“Wait, no, Skye--”

But she was already gone, too.

*

*

It was only two in the afternoon. The couple days of freedom before classes started...and I was lying here alone, deep in thought.

Was Jim really such a bad guy? Every cell in my body screamed at me to say yes, but in the back of my mind, I found myself saying no. He made my mother happy; maybe not so much with Mohit or I, but I guess that’ll have to come with time.

Reconsidering this situation never really passed my mind. For the past three years, the sentiment of “Amma and Jim, sitting in a tree” was extremely nauseating and unnerving. I felt obligated to dislike him, just like everything else in my life. Obligation, guilt, you name it. It probably crossed my mind throughout the first couple months of their relationship.

And if Charlotte hadn’t been there, who knows what would’ve happened. Even with her there I was too scared to face the thought of their wedding.

I grumbled, rolling over to bury my face in my pillow in an attempt to hide from everything.

“Why me?” I groaned, clutching my comforter tightly in my fists. With thoughts like these, I was in for a long afternoon.

*

*

September 5th, 2020

Dear Diary...

Damn, do I have an entry for today.

Firstly. I visited Amma, Mohit, and Jim back in Brooklyn today. I’d been holding out on that trip for a while; long enough to make myself feel unwelcome with each passing day.

The trip was mediocre, to say the least. I thought it’d allow my guilty mind to feel better and focus on other things, but I guess I was wrong. I’m still pondering over the fact that I actually abandoned them for a year. So, so much happened within that time; it’s hard to comprehend, all that new information...

What does that exactly entail, you ask? Well, then. Amma and Jim are getting married in March and Mo is actually growing up. It’s crazy to think that his birthday is in a few short weeks...

This actually leads swiftly into the next topic up for discussion. Charlotte. I know that I like her. There’s no denying that anymore. I would be all for confessing and asking her out properly, but she still hasn’t decided whether or not she’s getting involved with the show. Of course, though, this is completely reasonable - I’m not someone to tell her to rush her decisions or pressure her into something she doesn’t want - but at the same time, I want to know now instead of later. I need to prepare myself for what I’d face.

I’m almost to the point where I’m tired of waiting. I want to tell her how I feel, now that I know how to put my emotions into words. There were so many times today where she’d make me lose my focus. Make me nervous. Make me do all these uncharacteristic things that, in my opinion, would scare the hell out of people who know me for...me (AKA as a strict and uptight director and, sometimes, an emotionless blob).

If only theater wasn’t a thing. Then I’d actually have a fair chance. I try to tell my stupid brain that she isn’t like Kelly. I want to get over that fear; it’s piteous in a way that makes me second guess myself. My problem, though, is that I don’t know how.

Alright. My hand is starting to cramp. I’ll give updates as they come, but don’t expect anything grand. I want to have hope, but that’s pretty hard with all of my experiences with romance.

Ajay

[your-rose-highness]

Tell Me What is Love (ch-9)

Pairing-Baekhyun x OC

genre- Fluff, angst.

Chapter 9

Baekhyun woke up to find Sarang's bed empty the next morning. Last night’s events came crashing onto him and he closed his eyes in despair. Walking to the kitchen, he found sarang with her nanny, a 15 year old, who seemed to have a crush on baekhyun.

“Hello, mr byun.”, she chirped on seeing him walk down the stairs in the simplest beige pajamas.

Baekhyun responded with a meek smile, ruffling her hair and proceeding to kiss sarang.

Though the young girl spoke to him with gusto, baekhyun had only one thing in his mind, he needed to speak to the members about this. They had already seen troubled days but he had been grateful when they supported him with love and care.

Driving to the dorm, he was half afraid of how they would respond. With them by his side, he could live through the worst apocalypse. He found Jongin asleep on the couch as he walked in, who briefly opened his eyes to see who it was. Surprised to hear someone come in at this hour, jongdae peeped from the kitchen, a spatula in hand.

“Oh baekhyun! What are you doing here so early?”, jongdae asked, surprised.

“Just wanted to talk to you guys; is everyone in?”

“Yeah. i think suho hyung is in the gym.”

“Why is jongin on the couch?”

“I don't know either. I woke up and found him there. Making pancakes, want some?”, jongdae asked, stirring the batter a little too hard.

“Yeah sure. I’ve missed them.” baekhyun smiled at his friend.

“Oh yeah, why are you here? Something wrong?”

“Jongdae, I'm afraid Tae and I might file for divorce soon”, Baekhyun let out in a rush.

Jongdae set his bowl aside in shock. His expression was vocal enough for baekhyun to know what he was thinking. Jongdae knew everything about the distance between baekhyun and taeyeon. Jongdae and chanyeol would always be his first picks to talk about things that ate his heart out.

“Are you sure?”

“Taeyeon and i talked about it last night.”, he mumbled.

Jongdae didn't know what he was supposed to say to his friend at this moment. He gently placed his hand on baekhyun’s shoulder, trying to digest it all.

“Junmyeon hyung is going to be mad.”, baekhyun shuddered to think.

Jongdae shook his head in disbelief. “Please tell me you’re kidding. Is that what you’re thinking about? Divorce is a huge deal.”

“I've given up, jongdae. I’m tired of this. I just want to breathe easy when i wake up in the morning.”, baekhyun hissed at him.

Junmyeon had anticipated something bad when he saw Baekhyun at the dorm so early. He had prepared himself to find solutions instead of just being displeased. The boys were his family and as much as he didn't want to, he was someone they always looked to for answers. Being sandwiched between his member’s expectations and the company’s responsibilities, he seldom found himself in immense stress. 

Baekhyun explained everything to the boys post breakfast, taking his time through details that he had skipped the first time. His eyes filled with tears thinking about the trouble he was putting his members through. As he struggled to find words, jongin sat by him, often rubbing his back to give him courage.

“I'm sorry to you all.”

“It's not the time to be sorry baekhyun. Till when are you going to be this irresponsible? You really need to contemplate your decisions.”, suho uttered. “We’re brothers and we understand that you're going through something very difficult but this affects us all alike.”

“Don't worry! It's one for the team again. What are friends for, after all?”, chirped chanyeol.

One for the team. The boys had once again shown what family meant to them. Baekhyun glanced at each of them, taking in their smiling faces, brave, ready and armed to help him. It is so amazing that just last night, baekhyun felt himself shredded to pieces, finding it hard to breathe. Now, these people with whom he had spent most of his adult life, were always around the corner. He only needs to extend his hand for help. Help before he drowned himself within the deepest pits. He bursted into tears once again, this time, without anything to hold him back. Not Sarang, not Taeyeon, not even Hye hee. He felt free, his shackles disappeared, he let out his deepest sorrow without being afraid of what anyone would think. The boys, worried, rushed to their friend, but no amount of consoling would have stopped him that day. Suho lightly touched chanyeol’s arm signaling him to let baekhyun cry it out. He soon fell asleep on the couch after which the boys threaded lightly around him, jongdae covered him with a blanket and joined the rest of them in Suho's room.

“...he was seen. It’s not something to be ignored. I heard manager hyung said someone attacked a friend of hers.”, Suho said agitated.

“Maybe he needs to stay low for a bit?”, suggested Chanyeol.

“Do we have to protect hye hee?”, Jongin asked.

“Something needs to be done, but we will need to keep it from baekhyun. We can't have him act instinctively again.”

“Lee Sooman sir will NOT be happy about this.” jongdae added.

“Don't worry, he’ll just need a bit of time to come around this. Taeyeon is involved too, so he won't be too harsh.”, chanyeol whispered, peeping to check on the sleeping baekhyun.

The boys just chatted after that, each giving ideas how they should protect baekhyun from the wrath he’d receive from the public. Every word would be held against them. Baekhyun woke up after a couple of hours and the boys did everything they could to take his mind off the huge wave that would be hurled at him in the future.

Hye hee had received an interview via Jaebeom within a week. She prepared to give her best while also setting up a good resume that would hopefully impress them. Though Jaebeom was confident she would get through, hye hee had always been the kind to obsess over details. The day came and she picked herself up to put her best foot forward. To say it was amazing would be an understatement. The scriptwriter loved her work and the blog she ran on the side seemed to be an added cherry on top. She was finally going to work decent hours and receive a pay that would make it easier to pay her student debt. Maybe the days will be brighter now. Jane was feeling better than before too and claimed to have seen her life flash before her eyes and now wanted to study further into journalism. She decided to apply in colleges and jaebeom was more than supportive.

She was moving on. Yes, that's what was supposed to be done. Besides, Baekhyun hadn't called her after that whole confession incident that took place last week. Jane was right. He came in when he needed help. And she would be his best friend, who would support him. Nothing more, nothing less. 

'What of the tension that you felt pass between you two?',her brain reasoned.

What of it? There was nothing. Old graves are best left undisturbed. A new leaf needs to be turned over and a fresh chapter needs to be etched. 

Jane got very busy with university and it left Hye hee and Jaebeom seeing each other both because of work and out of boredom. He had never turned down an offer of post work drinks and turned out to be excellent company, especially after he had a bit too many beers. His usual composed self would go for the toss, something that left even the director surprised. Being the responsible person he was, he restrained himself from drinking on days he knew he would eventually drive Hye hee back home.

The project that they had been working on was almost ending and that meant long nights editing. Many times they'd find themselves alone at the office finishing up sections that needed to be done by next morning. 

It was one of those days when the two decided to take a break and go to the nearest convenience store to grab a little something to eat. His frequent glances caught her attention as she peeled her chocolate ice cream.

"What? Just spit it out. You didn't like the dialogue didn't you? It's not cheesy, this is what people talk like when they're emotional… I'm sorry to break it ….", She blurted out of the blue, making jaebeom laugh.

"That's new, Hye hee! The work pressure finally getting to you? It's been, what, like four months?", He cheekily replied.

"Then what is it? Tell me already!"

A small smile continued to play on his lips, as he hesitated. Turning towards her, he drew a little closer to her before whispering, "I like you, Hye hee." Looking at hye hee's surprised Pikachu face, the slight crooked smile never left his lips. He seemed to be having fun.

"Was it that shocking? I thought I was being pretty evident that I liked you. Or are you dense?"

"But...why?... What?" Hye hee's brain malfunctioned.

"I think you and I are similar in ways. I find you charming. Of course, you're exceptionally pretty, but that goes without saying. You're kind and as much as it's such an overused word, I really think people don't really understand kindness…" he confessed confidently, while Hye hee nibbled on her ice-cream, her cheeks growing hot.

"I don't know what to say…"

"Please know that I'm not trying to put you on a spot here. I'm aware that you're not the kind to jump into a relationship with someone instantly without pondering over it. And I respect that.

"I'll be in Japan for the next three days for work and I'd like it if you'd give me an answer then. I'll wait patiently, till then."

Hye hee spent the rest of the night only looking at him as he continued to work. With his back turned to her, she was free to ogle as much as she'd like. She forced her heart to stop bouncing off the walls and get to work. It's not like she hadn't had men confess to her. But before Jaebeom only Minseok was someone who sincerely put their heart out for her. When she turned him down, he handled it gracefully and never made her feel uncomfortable. That alone told her that he was an amazing human being and when the right girl came along, he'd be the best other half.

Then why was she on the fence about Jaebeom? She did like him… but romantically? In times like these her first call would go to Jane… but he's her brother. What if she's mad?

They finished work at 4 AM. Jaebeom wrapped up work earlier than hye hee(thanks to her inner debate session) and he graciously offered to tidy up everything else while waiting for her to wind up.

The ride home was eerily quiet and her lips itched to randomly talk about things, but the only things she noticed were how much longer his hair had gotten since they had first met, how muscular his arms looked on the steering wheel, the bracelet that always wore hung daintily from his wrist…

"Please Hye hee. Let's not be awkward around each other. I'll….try to be normal if you say no", He said hesitantly. 

She only mumbled a soft okay.

"Alright. Here we are.", He turned to her once again, his eyes testifying how tired he was. "Sleep well. Don't over think. I guess, I'll see you in three days?", He pursed his lips hopefully.

"Have fun."

He nodded with a soft smile and drove away. She was living with Jane for a while till she found her own place again. Jane insisted that she moved after the whole incident.

She lightly stepped into the apartment, only to find Jane's room open and sitting at her desk.

"I'm home…"

Jane turned to look at her with half droopy lids, "oh Hye hee, go shower… I'll be with you in a minute. I can't study anymore. What about Jaebeom oppa?"

"Huh? He….he is at home I guess. I mean...where else… he went home.", She stammered.

"Guess you're tired too. Poor soul. Come to bed soon."

Hye hee showered and quickly got into the covers while Jane was scrolling through her phone.

"Yah, EXO is going on a world tour again.", Jane said, showing her the news.

"Ah. Great."

"What's wrong? Is something on your mind?"

There are times when your brain knows not to say certain things, but somehow, you feel it is already being done and that's exactly what hye hee did.

"Jaebeom said he likes me.", Hye hee blurted, closely watching Jane's expression for signs of disgust and hatred.

"WHAT?!"

"oh don't be mad, Jane! I have no one else…"

"This is great news! I always thought he behaved a bit too weirdly around you! Now I know! Yay! My best friend and my brother!", Jane exclaimed, hugging hye hee with all her might.

"Wait! I didn't say anything yet."

That diminished her energy a bit. "Oh. But, you know, now that I think about it, you guys do match a lot. Is that why I'm such good friends with you? I can't imagine…" she shuddered.

"I'm not sure what I want Jane."

"Look now, don't take this matter into that overthinking mill in your brain. For once hye hee, just do what you feel is right. Everything doesn't have to be black or white. It's okay. Don't think about what will happen in the future. Just go with the flow babe. And no, I'm not saying this because he's my brother. But he is a good man."

Hye hee pondered over things and did realise that she did try to look at things a little too critically at times. She took a deep breath and decided to sleep it off.

The next two days were incredibly dull and she sort of missed Jaebeom. It was a void that made its presence loud and clear. This was the first time, hye hee had spent days missing a man other than Baekhyun. Why did she feel so guilty? Baekhyun was in Europe while she worked in her office, he had taken Sarang with him this time. The fact that she knew this because it was on Instagram and not because Baekhyun had told her, bothered her a bit. He could have been busy. 

She shook away her thoughts about Baekhyun at that moment. How was she going to date someone else with Baekhyun clouding her head all the time? 

The day of Jaebeom's arrival had come and it made her nervous. He would go home first and then come to Jane's to drop off the things Jane had asked him to buy for her. As the clock inched closer to 1 PM, her heart went uncontrollably all over the place, half wishing to run away and hide. What would she say and how? Probably if she saw him, her mind would clear out. Probably for once, life would be like those in movies and angels would sing when a person saw their loved one!

You wish.

"Bitch you look like someone kicked you in the stomach. Breathe, please.", Jane commented, giving her friend a side glance.

"I'm nervous.",whined Hye hee.

"This is my brother. What is to be so nervous? Just tell him whatever you feel. By the way, what are you going to say?"

"I don't know yet."

Jane stood and stared at her friend for a good minute before letting a huge sigh.

"You are one hell of a mad person. He's starting from home. Just sent me a text. Something that he's never done before. Pretty sure that's for you. Great, now I'm being used as messenger.", She dramatically said, putting her hands up in the air in surrender.

She heard the bell soon, and her heart began trying to jump out of her chest. Jane gestured to her to relax as she went to get the door.

Jaebeom was home.

His eyes searched for her instantly, locking them in hers, while he spoke to Jane. He wanted to smile, but pressed his lips together.

They looked at eachother but didn't utter a word.

"Hi.", She meekly said when Jane excused herself to go to the bathroom, glancing at her friend.

"Hello, hye hee. How've you been?"

"Okay, I guess.",she said fidgeting.

"My days were quite dull I'm afraid.", He replied, a faint smile reappearing on his lips," I guess I missed you."

Hye hee blushed. Jaebeom had a way with words and it did stir hye hee.

"I missed you too."

"Are you saying yes?", He asked, his voice breaking in surprise.

Jaebeom walked across the room where Hye hee stood, beside the kitchen and asked again.

"Is that a yes, Hye hee?"

She gave a tiny nod of affirmation and jaebeom let out a small chuckle. Fisting the air in victory. Hye hee laughed with him, feeling like a teenager again.( AUTHOR NOTE: GOT7 fans know this line!) Jane's loud 'awww' surprised them and she ran in for a group hug.

"You guys!!! I'm so happy.", She exclaimed.

Hye Hee was happy too. For the first time in forever, she was not thinking about Baekhyun. If only she knew that her best friend was fighting through his worst days.

[colorfullfalls]

Come with me?

Stanley Barber x reader

Homecoming was mediocre at best for Y/N. Her friends were laughing and having fun, but all she wanted to do was go home. Her usually fellow awkward group was branching out and enjoy themselves. She was happy for them, but she felt out of place.

Dances were for those who didn't have social anxiety. Teenagers who were confident with themselves to some extent and wanted to show it. She liked dresses, but not elegant ones like these. She felt prettiest in simple plain dresses, but her mother convinced her to get a flashy dress.

She saw Stan Barber walked in with Mercedes. That girl always had a stick up her ass. Y/N rolled her eyes at the sight. Stan deserved the world not someone who was a killjoy.

Her heart fell when she watched Mercedes walk away from them. Stan awkwardly took the sunglasses off of his head and placed them over his eyes, a slight frown taking shape.

Y/N glanced at her friends who were having fun. She bit her lip as she realized that finally taking a chance to hangout with Stan was what she needed to do. Her friends noticed her watching Stan.

"Go for it, this is your chance." Her best friend encouraged, "be brave."

"Let's hope this goes well," Y/N quickly walked towards Stan.

Stan was walking up the bleachers to go sit down when someone grabbed his hand, turning him around. His eyes landed on a smiling Y/N. He was pleasantly surprised.

Her heart was beating out of her chest at the thought of rejection. Stan made her feel special even without being his close friend. When she talked in class he always turned his body towards her to listen fully. He always had an extra mint in his bag when she was having a bad day. He was special.

"I'm sorry for grabbing you," she let go of him, "Dances can be fun, but this one really isn't. Not right now at least.. I was uh, I was wondering if you wanted to ditch..? With me, maybe?"

Stan grinned from ear to ear nodding, "I'd never agreed with something more."

The two teenagers found themselves at the local gas station buying large slushies and gummy bears. Y/N giggled as Stan insisted that they also grab combos. He tried to pay but she was quicker than him and handed the cashier $10.

Stan parked his car under the bridge and they climbed onto the hood of the car to gaze at the stars.

"So stars can be bought... How fucking crazy is that? Can't even touch them, what's the point?" Stan mumbled, shoving ten gummy bears in his mouth.

"Buying a star is for people who have nothing else to spend their money on. Sure it can be seen as special but stars explode.. You think you own it and one day, poof, it's gone. Money down the drain..."

Stan swallowed his gummy bears and smiled sweetly as she talked.

"If you had a million dollars what would you spend it on?"

She deeply breathed in, pondering a realistic reply, "A new fridge. Ours always leaks water and my mom's gets so frustrated by it. We have the money to get a new one, but they're stubborn about getting new things when something works."

"That's thoughtful of you.. but a fridge isn't worth a million dollars," he teased.

"I'd keep it to pay for college. Debt scares me because I don't want to have a shitty life worrying about money all the time."

Stanley shifted when she mentioned college. He wanted to go far away for his further schooling but he was undecided. What he did know was that his father was not very supportive of the idea.

"My dad doesn't want me to go to college. He said it's a waste of time. Everything is a waste of time to him if it's not beer or football..."

Y/N's heart sank as he talked about his dad. The whole grade knew that Stan's dad was a dickhead, but hearing him talk about his dad made it real.

"I noticed your black eye." She blurted out. Stan sighed and turned his head to look away from her almost as if he were embarrassed.

"He was drunk when I got home the other night. On top of it all I've been driving the car without permission and I wrecked it. Those two things together did not please him.."

Honesty rang through the air as Y/N felt like she was slowly putting the puzzle pieces of her crush's life together. She slid her hand across the cold material of the car until she found his warm hand.

He blushed as she slotted her fingers through his larger ones, "It wasn't your fault." She whispered, "You deserve better than this town."

"You do too." He whispered, squeezing her hand slightly.

Dark evening hid the look of smitten smiles and rosy cheeks, but sure enough feelings were present. Feelings that would only progress until it was love.

[raleighliving]

Alternates to College in Raleigh

So, with my last two scribblings I talked at large about college culture and attending college in Raleigh. To show I’m a Fair and Balanced™ individual, this one’s gonna talk about the opposite in a way. 

Say you live in Raleigh and college just isn’t for you. You didn’t do well in high school and you’re worried about wasting resources, you don’t know what you actually want to do with your future, maybe the college scene in general just doesn’t appeal to you for some reason; that’s absolutely okay. 

Whatever your reasoning or logic is, it’s valid and I want that to be an up front take away from this article. Plenty of people don’t get their Bachelor’s and that’s fine, it doesn’t make you any less of a person. Of course, that then leaves the question, “What is there for me in a city like Raleigh?” The answer to that is “Plenty.” 

If you’re not interested in higher education of any sort, then jumping immediately into the workforce is your best bet. Make that bread and make your own way in life by obtaining one of many low skill jobs!

“RL,” I hear you say incredulously, tapping furiously on your Cheeto encrusted keyboard with LED backlights. “You mean like wait staff and McDonalds employees? They get shit pay and no benefits!” 

You’d be correct, people in food service and retail do get treated like the under scrapings of a sewage workers boot. However, I’m not necessarily talking about those positions.

To qualify, consider any job that requires a minimum of a high school diploma as low-skilled. These positions range wildly, of course, from joining the army to joining your local call center, but a good number of places will pay an above average wage and provide benefits.

Notorious call-center firm ‘Conduent’ for instance has contracts that pay above $13 an hour and provide dental, legal assistance, and discounts on a variety of products. There’s a variety of warehouse jobs, customer service reps, data entry analysts, and more that have little to no barriers to entry in Raleigh at the moment of writing (and you can find them easily through services like Monster and Indeed).

But maybe you want to live a little larger than that. You want a job that’ll let you eventually break out of the renter’s market and into the homeowner’s with enough saving and after you’ve broken the capitalist machine in a legitimate revolution.

You don’t want the four years of your life down the drain with student loans till you’re sixty, but you do want something shiny that affirms your talents in a particular field; which is why you should get licensed!

Licensed in what? That’s up to you, but a number of jobs in and around Raleigh care more about what specialized training you have than they do what college you graduated from.  

Fields like realtors, electricians, HVAC, plumbing, and truck driving have vocational schools in Raleigh and online that offer a career path for a much lower price than a four year university without sacrificing the pay and benefits of a degree.

According to The Blue Collar Recruiter you can make on average $52,000 a year working in the HVAC field. Not to mention that (trucking aside, depending on the future of cargo transportation and smart cars) these fields generally offer a good degree of job security as well. After all, so long as things inevitably break, people will need handymen to repair them. 

Had I the courage to tell my parents “I don’t wanna go to college, I want to spend $300 of my college fund on a real estate license and the rest supporting myself through the initial rough patch of being an agent” then I believe we’d be looking at a radically different timeline (at least for myself). 

Of course, maybe you are for the college scene--studying for tests, attending classes with your peers, working towards a degree with a school name and major plastered on it. But what if you’re not a fan of the costs?

A growing number of kids in the US have crippling student debt that threatens to grow and crush them under the weight of their degree course costs.  If you’ve agreed with everything so far I’d urge you:  Please consider a community college!

A 2 year degree, also known as an Associates, may not open as many doors as a Bachelor’s; but it’ll still give you hand up over those without a degree in many fields. Community colleges tend to be cheaper as well, meaning that for less time and less money you still get most of the full college experience without having to break the bank. 

Sure, some may scoff at having a community college degree; but those people are flat-out idiots. Truthfully a community college degree may not do much outside a given area, but I can tell you from personal experience that a degree from Wake Tech will grab just as much attention in certain circles as one from NCSU or UNC would in others. 

I, of course, advocate for many to go through higher education if they can. Even if I turned into a loser drop-out, the friends I made, the experiences I had, and the stuff that I learned is something I’d never choose to lose if I had to do it all again. 

But college isn’t for everyone, and pretending it is like so many parents/guidance counselors/recruiters do doesn’t help anyone except the people in the admissions office.  

If you have the resources, you could even take a year or two to do some soul searching and find what you want to do with your life; there’s no wrong way (technically) to live your life. It’s yours.

With that being said, now I’ll have to find something else to write about. Maybe take some more nature pics and bum around Crabtree or something. Happy end of January everyone, hope your spring semesters go well if you’re in school and life in general if you’re not. 

[goodwriterwithbadhabits]

Dirty Laundry

Master List

~~

“Vernon, what in the cinnamon toast fuck happened to our room?” Joshua asked the moment he entered the dorm room. His half of the room was still fairly clean, but Vernon's side was covered in dirty clothes and take out containers.

“Hey now, Holy Boy, I have been very busy, and I haven't had the chance to do laundry.” Vernon defended, squeezing past the older boy to shove his clothes closer to his laundry hamper. “And its gonna be too late to wash all this with finals coming up.”

“Gross, why don't you just use the laundry service Cheol and I use?” Josh asked, tossing his duffle bag on his bunk.

“Because I'm broke, next question.” 

“Dude, seriously, its not that bad. It's 20 for a load of laundry, 10 when she picks it up, 10 when she drops it off. If you don't pay her when she's trying to drop it off, she keeps it until you do.” Joshua explained, watching his younger friend attempt to clean his side of the room.

“She?”

“Yeah, Y/n, she's a freshman, like you, and an engineering major.”

“So doesn't she have finals coming up too?” Vernon asked, finally admitting defeat and flopping into his desk chair.

“Yeah, but she studies while she waits for laundry to get finished.” Josh shrugged. “Either way she'll be here tomorrow morning before my lecture to pick up some of my stuff, you should ask her about joining in.”

“Whatever. How was LA?” Vernon shifted the conversation.

“Same as always, Mom says she wants you to come visit soon. I think she thinks I made you up.”

“Valid point. I am a stereotypical college kid. Messy room, sweatpants to class, lives on ramen.”

“Which is a problem.” Josh reminded him to which Vernon shrugged.

“Not for me.”

“You're a monster, come on.” Josh stood and grabbed his coat. Vernon just stared at him.

“Where?”

“Food, I'll pay.”

“Alright.” Vernon shrugged. “Rule 6 of university, never say no to free food.”

~~

The following morning Vernon was jolted from his sleep by a knock on the door. Joshua, who was, unshockingly, already awake, bounded over to the door.

“Good morning.” He greeted, and Vernon could practically see the smile his friend wore.

“Morning Shua.”

“Come on in, excuse his mess.” Vernon sat up, leaning on the wall, and rubbed the sleep from his eyes. When he opened them fully, he wasn't expecting to see you. Seeing someone so breathtaking standing in his messy dorm made Vernon suddenly very embarrassed.

“Good morning, you must be Vernon.” You greeted, offering him a warm smile. “I'm Y/n.”

“A pleasure. Sorry about the mess.”

“I get it.” You shrugged.

“So here's the 10, and my laundry.” Shua interrupted. “Yeet, alright. See you in a bit then.” You waved to Vernon before picking up the hamper.

“Oh hey, you got any room on your roster for him?” Josh asked, pointing to Vernon, who waved again.

“Um,” You pulled out your phone, checking something. “I'm free Thursday evenings.” You looked back up at him. “I can do up to two loads at a time, you pay me 10 when I pick it up, 10 when I drop it off, don't pay, I keep your shit. And don't worry about underwear, I literally don't care about it.”

“Alright, what time Thursday?”

“Around 6?” Vernon nodded again.

“Yeah, yeah, sure that works.” You smiled at him again, making his heart pound before leaving the room with Josh's stuff.

“What's with the blush, Captain Dumbass?” Josh teased.

“Shut up, Holy Boy.” Vernon deflected.

“Is it cause a pretty girl saw you in your boxers in your messy room?” Vernon's face got even warmer.

“I said shut up.” He whined, falling back onto his bed. “I'm never going to live this down am I?”

“Probably not no.”

~~

“Hey, Scoops.” Vernon greeted, plopping down next to him at the pizza joint.

“Hello, Captain Dumbass.” The older man greeted making Vernon let out a long groan.

“I hate Chan for that one.” He huffed, snatching one of the Mozzarella sticks of Seungcheol's plate.

“It suits you though, Joshua told me what happened with Y/n last week.” He teased.

“Oh no.” Vernon shuddered. “Don't even talk to me about that, I barely managed to look her in the eyes when she came for my laundry.”

“Sounds like a you problem.” Cheol laughed.

“Y/n, you're late!” The harsh voice made both boys look up from their food. They watched as you jogged into the place, tying your apron on.

“Sorry, my last delivery was super late, I had to run from my dorm all the way here.” You explained.

“She works here too?” Vernon asked, ducking his head.

“And at the music shop on 5th.” Cheol nodded.

“How come she works so many places?”

“Depends on who you ask.” Jun started, jumping over the back of the booth to plop down across from Vernon. “Some rumors say its to pay for a sick family member, others say it's because she has debts to pay off.”

“Do you know the real reason?” Vernon leaned forward, hoping to hear more.

“Nope, no one's actually asked her.” The older man shrugged.

“Lame.” Vernon sighed, stealing another one of Cheols mozzarella sticks.

“Buy your own damn food, kid.” Cheol griped, not moving his plate.

“I'm broke.”

“Must suck,” Minghao started, “Good thing I just bought a pie, huh?” He teased.

“All hail the rich kid.” Vernon joked. “What would we do without you?”

“Is that my wallet?” Jun asked, grabbing it from Hao. “It is. You thief.”

“Never said I bought it with my money.” Hao shrugged.  Vernon laughed with the others but his attention was soon stolen by you as you delivered a pizza to a nearby table. As you turned back, you locked eyes with Vernon, who felt his cheeks heat up. You waved at him before scurrying back to the kitchen.

“Oh, so he's got a crush on her.” Jun's voice jolted him back into the current conversation.

“What?”

“Look at the blush.” Hao teased and Vernon responded by pulling his hood up and pulling the strings tight.

“What blush. I don't have a face.” He shrugged, resting his chin on his hands. Someone's giggles a moment later made him loosen his hidey-hole. You were standing at the end of the table a pizza in your hand, showing off some rather impressive biceps.

“Sorry.” You apologized, “One extra large pepperoni for Minghao?” The boys quickly cleared their things off the table, mouths watering at the sight of the still bubbling food.

“Oh hey, Y/n, I've been meaning to ask.” Cheol began, “How come you work so many places?”

“Oh, I'm just trying to save up to go on holiday this summer.” You explained with a smile. “I want to go to New York.”

“Oh Hansol knows a few things about New York.” Jun piped in, and Vernon was tempted to close his hood again.

“Hansol?” You looked very cute tilting your head in confusion. “I thought your name was Vernon?”

“Its actually Hansol, but everyone calls me Vernon.” He confessed, trying to keep his blush hidden in his hoodie.

“We all call him Captain-” Vernon lunged across the table, slapping his hand over Jun's mouth.

“Say it out loud, and I'll end you!” He threatened the older man.

“No worries, maybe you can tell me on Thursday.” You winked at him and scampered away.

“Did she just flirt with me? Was I just flirted at?” Vernon asked, dropping his chin onto the table.

“Yes, and yes, you did terribly, have some pizza.” Minghao dangled the slice in front of the younger boy who accepted it with a pout.

“I didn't do that bad, did I?” He asked, looking up at Cheol who sighed and patted his back.

“I have seen worse, eat your pizza.” Vernon let out a whine, shoving most of his pizza in his mouth.

“Oh hey, Hansol.” Son of a bitch. He looked up, finding you standing at the end of the table again. You looked at the other boys a blush creeping on your cheeks that Vernon found incredibly endearing.

“Ohh, hey Jeonghan!” Cheol greeted into his phone, “Yeah I can talk. Excuse me.” He slunk past you, moving to head outside. Vernon was pretty sure his phone wasn't even on. Your gaze moved to Jun and Hao, making the younger one grab the older and pull him out of the booth mumbling something about an important something happening this way.

And so Vernon was left alone with you. Fuck.

“So uh,” Vernon swallowed hard. “What's up?”

“I, um,” You blew out a breath, turning slightly. Vernon followed your gaze, finding Joshua, DK, and Seungkwan at another table cheering you on, but they immediately returned their gaze to their pizza.

“Oh.” Vernon blushed, “Um.”

“Boy are we great at talking.” You mumbled, a chuckle erupting from both of you.

“I was just gonna say,” He mused, dropping his slice back onto the tray.

“Awe man, I was so confident when I walked over here.” You whined a little, shoulders slumping.

“Hey, just, say what you wanted to say.” Vernon shrugged, trying to be chill. “I won't-”

“Do you wanna go out on a date sometime?” You blurted, slapping a hand over your mouth the moment the sentence came out. You both just stared at each other, both too dumbstruck to say anything.

“Oh my god, say something,” DK whined, face peeking up from behind the booth next to them.

“Um, sure?” Vernon stuttered out his answer, wanting to tie his hoodie back up and avoid the shame.

“Um, great. I'll text you.” You offered him a tight smile and a curt nod before once again, running away.

“That was bad wasn't it?” Vernon asked, looking to DK who grimaced. “I'm never gonna get the girl.”

“Probably. You ever think about not speaking ever again?” The older boy asked.

“Often”

~~

“I'm fucked.” Vernon sighed on Tuesday, as he fell onto his floor. “I'm fucked, I'm going to die alone.”

“Date went shit?”

“Date went shit. I want to literally kill myself, get resurrected, and then do it again.”

“That's really edgy kid.” Joshua turned in his desk chair to find his roommate face down on the floor. “What happened?”

“I took her out for breakfast like we agreed, and then we didn't talk at all.” Vernon huffed. “Neither of us could even say anything.”

“Its like the world's most awkward people went out.” Josh groaned. “Did she smile at all?”

“I mean, I walked her to her dorm and I made a joke about telepathic communication and she giggled.”

“Oh? A giggle? That's something.” Josh tried to see the bright side. Vernon sat up slightly.

“Yeah, she had this really cute smile after that.” Josh pursed his lips at the faraway smile on Vernon's face.

“So, have you planned out another date yet?” Vernon shook his head.

“No, she got a call right as I was about to ask, then I panicked and walked away.” Josh's sigh was not at all a shock. “Yeah I know, I'm an idiot, its just.” Vernon sighed, rolling onto his back, “She's so goddamn pretty. I don't know how to talk to her, especially when she's looking at me with those eyes and smiling that gorgeous smile. I'm a wreck around her.” He glanced over at the older boy who let out a small snicker. “Don't mock me now, Josh, I'm asking for help.” He whined. “I don't want to make her think I'm not into her.”

“Alright, my small, fragile ego-ed, freshman friend.”

“Hey.” Vernon sat up, “You don't gotta be mean about- are you texting someone right now?”

“Seungkwan and DK are better than me at relationship advise, and Dino is her roommate so I'm asking for some theoretical help.”

“Your boyfriend, and my ex-boyfriend are better love experts than you?”

“I'd ask Jihoon but he scares me.” Vernon stared at his friend confused.

“Wait, tiny music major Jihoon?”

“He once tried to kill Mingyu with a guitar,”

“Okay, alright, continue whatever you were doing.”

~~

Vernon was, once again, nervous. Thursday had come too fast and the bouquet of flowers sitting on his desk seemed like too much and not enough all at once. With Joshua, and the others, help, he had formulated a simple plan: give her the flowers, tell her you really like her and want to try again and ask her to teach you how to do your laundry.

Then it was 6:30, then 7, and still no sign of you. Vernon let out a defeated sigh, exiting out of Instagram to check his messenger. Nothing from you.

To: Y/n

Hey, are you okay?

From: Y/n

This is Dino, Y/n's really sick today, all laundry's canceled.

To: Y/n

Oh, does she have medicine? Something to eat?

From: Y/n

Dude, I've got to go to class. If you're so worried about her, here's our dorm address

The flowers were abandoned as Vernon tossed on his shoes and bolted out of his room, not sure why he suddenly felt so worried. Yeah, he liked you, a lot, but he hated being near sick people. That fact did not stop him from texting his mother and getting money to buy you medicine and some soup from his favorite cafe. Arriving at your door, breathless, he caught Dino just as he was leaving.

“Dude, are you really-?” Dino questioned. “Man, Shua was right, you got it bad.” He joked, a smile taking over his face. “Look just promise you won't do anything weird?”

“Are you kidding me right now?” Vernon was shocked at the younger boy’s words.

“I don't think you will, but for her sake. Just don't be too loud and lock the door when you leave.” Dino shrugged. “I'll be back at like, midnight.”

“Thanks, man.”

“Yeah whatever, but if you try anything, I swear to the gods Vernon,” Vernon raised his hands in surrender, making Dino nod. Once the younger man had walked away Vernon made his way into the dorm. It was rather clean, which was shocking, seeing as Dino was an incredibly messy person. He found you asleep, bundled into a fluffy comforter, with a large stuffed penguin in your arms. When he set the bag of stuff on one of the desks in the room a little too loudly you grumbled, sitting up slightly.

“Channie? I thought you had class?” You asked, blinking sleep from your eyes. “Oh, Vernon, what are you doing here?” You tugged your blanket closer to your chest as you sat up to look at him.

“Hey, Dino texted me, he said you were sick so I bought you some medicine and some soup.” “Oh.” You sniffled, “Thank you.” It was quiet for a moment, the sounds of the campus at night leaking in through your cracked window. “Hey, Vernon, why'd you come over?”

“You were sick, I wanted to make sure you were okay?” He explained, scratching the back of his head in slight embarrassment.

“Why? Cause otherwise, you'd have no one to do your laundry?” You huffed, punctuating your sentence with another sniffle.

“What?” Vernon was legit confused. “No, cause I really like you. Wait.” You glanced up at him quickly before dropping your gaze back to your hands. “Have people really only gotten close to you because of that?” You nodded.

“A couple times. One of them thought sleeping with me could get him free laundry service. And then you,” You let out another huff. “I really like you and you agreed to go out with me, but then you wouldn't talk to me, I thought it was going to be like that again.”

“What? No! I just,” Vernon sighed, “I really like you and I'm awful at talking to people I have a thing for. Just ask Seungkwan. When I asked him out it took four months of lead up and I could barely talk to him.”

“Wait, you dated Seungkwannie?” You asked, then your eyes widened. “Oh! He's talked about you! He said you were really cute, but realized being together wasn't meant to be.” Vernon felt his heart drop at your words.

“Yeah.”

“Hey, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said anything.”

“No its okay.” Vernon waved you off, trying to clear his head. He really had thought he was in love with Seungkwan but after a few months, they realized that while being friends was awesome, being more than that felt strange. “Are you hungry? The soup's from Gyu, handmade.”

“That sounds amazing.” You practically moaned. Vernon helped you get comfortable before handing you the container of soup, which you ended up foregoing the spoon on and drinking it straight from. Vernon was pretty sure that was the hottest thing ever.

After, you both sat quietly for a moment, now with your TV playing quietly in the background.

“Hey, Y/n, I have a question.”

“Shoot.” Vernon set his phone down, watching as you did the same, fully looking at him. His cheeks immediately felt warm and he suddenly forgot what he wanted to say.

“Um, I, I totally lost it.” He finally caved, muttering the last few words. You let out a giggle, followed by a rough cough, making Vernon once again worried.

“Something, something about this.” You began, waving your hand between the two of you. “This doesn't feel bad, I think we had to get through that awkward bit before finding something that worked for us.”

“We've barely spoken.” He sighed. You shrugged, offering him a smile.

“But I'm having fun. I'm content.” Your words made Vernon's heart actually flutter and a smile he couldn't seem to get rid of plastered itself to his face.

“Then once you're better, will you go out with me? On a proper date where we don't just eat silently and hate ourselves for it?” You both burst out laughing at his words.

“Vernon, Hansol, I would kiss you right now, but I don't want you sick.” You finally decided.

“So is that a yes?” He asked, leaning slightly towards you, the excitement obvious on his face.

“Its a yes.”

(Boy is that ending bad. This isn’t part of the Christmas event. Sorry)

[the-writing-dump-bin]

Hiii, i'm glad the requests are open. I'd like to request fem!s/o giving jotaro a lap dance, how would him react? thank youuu 💖

Hi! Thanks for your request! I went with Jotaro being around 25 years old here and in college.

MILD content

[[MORE]]

Jotaro watched you from across the room.

Whenever he thought that you might have caught him staring, he would dart his eyes away from you and onto the paper he was working on in front of him.

He had a crush on you- secretly of course.

Since the beginning of the semester, after you all introduced yourselves, he found himself being drawn by your personality and dedication to your work. He had talked to you a few times, but only in small conversations. Also, you were basically the only woman who wasn't all over or flirting with him everyday, making him want you even more.

In today's class, students were paired up with each other to work on coming up with presentations for the rest of the class; each group taking a topic from the board at the front of the class. Jotaro wasn't paired up with you, as much as he wanted to. Thats why he was distracted by you from across the room. His attention shifted when he heard the other two male students he was in a group with start whispering.

"That's what I heard, anyways. They said they saw her there."

"I didn't think she would stoop that low just to make money."

"What are you two talking about?" Jotaro grunted, they clearly weren't working on the project- though neither was he.

The two looked at each other then leaned forward, keeping their voices low from the other tables. "Y/N... I heard something about her."

Jotaro felt a shiver run through his body at the mention of you, but these two were obviously gossiping about something. "Like what?"

"Markus said that him and some of his friends saw her dancing at a strip club downtown the other night."

"What?!" Jotaro blinked and turned to look at you, lost in your studies with your group, not a care in the world.

"Dude, don't look at her!" The other student hissed. "She must have real issues if she dances like that for money."

The first student shrugged. "I dunno. She's pretty hot. Maybe she's doing it to look for a little attention?"

Jotaro didn't like how they were talking about you. If this rumor was true, then there has to be a reason behind it, but he didn't want to believe you did something like strip for attention. "Leave her alone." He went back to work on his paper. "Its not your place to make assumptions about someone if you are just going off gossip." The two just shrugged and continued to talk while they worked.

---

All he heard the rest of the day was the rumor that was being told about you. He didnt like it, but the more he listened, the more he got intrigued. Through the chatter, he heard of the possible place you danced at.

Sitting in his apartment, Jotaro buried his face in his hands. He wanted to see if what the others were saying were true, and if it was, the true reason behind your choice to be a dancer. But he had never been to a strip club before; didn't really know what to expect. Getting up, he grabbed his keys and left his apartment, heading to the club you were rumored to dance at.

-

His nerves shook when he arrived. What was he expecting to see when he walked through the door? Taking a deep breath, he steeled himself to his neutral expression and walked in.

The hard eyes of the burly bouncer looked Jotaro up and down- they were almost the same size, maybe Jotaro was a little bit larger. There was a long hallway to walk down before getting to the main room. It kind of looked like a place you would see in the movies; tables, stages, poles, dark lighting. The women who worked here walked around, some waiting on tables and others giving dances in the corner and on the stage.

Jotaro felt his cheeks heat up. He felt a little flustered by being here, surrounded by women taking off their clothes in public- he always preferred that to be private. Scanning the room, he failed to see you. Guess that's all it was, just a rumor.

"Can I help you?"

Turning to the sound behind him, Jotaro was approached by one of the women sauntering around the room.

"You look like this is your first time here."

"Uhmm, yeah. It is."

The woman came closer, touching his arm. "Anything I can do to help?"

Jotaro was use to women coming on to him, but with the current setting, he felt awkward. "Uh, um," he cleared his throat. "I was...looking for someone." He mentioned your name to her.

"Y/N?" The woman backed up a little. "She's currently giving a private dance, she doesn't dance out here often. Did you want to book with her? I think there is an open room if you are willing to wait?"

His heart pounded. All he wanted to do was talk with you and find out the reason you do this. He would be lying if the thought of you dancing in front of him never crossed his mind, but again, would rather have that with you in his home. But he came here to talk with you. If being in a private room, away from prying eyes, was the only way, then he would take it. "Sure."

-

Jotaro's mind raced, not knowing what was going to happen while he sat in the room, waiting for you to enter.

Before he was shown to the room, he was told that there was a deposit he had to pay first before anything would happen. He laid down two hundred dollars without thought; he just wanted to talk to you, not get an actual dance, but knew he had to pay you for your time.

The door opened behind him. Turning around, he saw you, dressed in whatever outfit you started out with. His faced heated again, hot with want and embarrassment.

Upon recognizing him from your class, you froze, face so red it looked like it was burnt from the sun. "Oh my god, what are you doing here?!" I can't give him a dance! I tried so hard to keep this secret hidden!

"Look, before you get the wrong idea, I came here to talk to you." Jotaro held up his hands. "There were rumors going around the school about...this... And obviously those rumors are true..."

You looked away from him, unable to look him in the eyes. Jotaro took a step forward, his large stature overcasting you. "I'm sorry..." You said as a tear fell from your eye.

Jotaro didn't like seeing you upset. Bringing up a hand, he cupped your cheek and wiped the tear away with his thumb. "Though I may not look it, I do care about you." Your eyes met his as he continued. "I couldn't stand the others talking about you. They say you have issues or looking for attention."

You rolled your eyes; of course that would be the first things people say. "Well, those aren't true... I dance because...I need the money. I'm kind of in debt from school and trying to pay rent. I already have two jobs; this one here is for extra cash."

A long silence passed between you, neither knowing what to say next.

"Well, I got my answer." He said, heading towards the door. He turned slightly and smiled."But hey, you can always come to me if you're having trouble. I'll see you at school." With his hand on the handle, he turned it and started to pull, only to have you slam it shut before he could leave.

You thought to what Jotaro had said a moment ago; how he cared about you. How did that happen? You two barely talked. But you had a subtle crush on him as well. He was smart, mysterious, and as a bonus, very handsome. Spinning him around, you pinned him to the door. "Hey," you said, flashing him a devilish grin. "Didn't you pay for a dance? You think you're going to leave without getting your money's worth?"

Jotaro felt all his nerves tingle; excitement running through his veins. "Oh, um, I really just came to talk-"

Grabbing his hands, you pulled him towards the wide chair in the middle of the room, pushing him gently to sit down. Quickly straddling his hips, you used your hand to trace his sharp facial features.

This was very new to him. He had been with women before, but he had always wanted you. He felt flustered, unsure how to react to your touches and your movements. You sure knew what you were doing though, as you lightly moved over his lap, arms wrapped around his neck. "I, uh, am I allowed to touch you?"

You giggled, finding it a little amusing for him to be so stuttery. Jotaro Kujo, the big, burly, stoic man, being brought down by a mere little lap dance from you. "The rules here is you can't touch the dancers..." You stood up and wiggled your hips, unbuttoning your shirt and letting it hang loosely open, exposing your breasts in a beautifully laced bra. You leaned forward, placing your hands on his thighs, your face dangerously close to his. "But I won't tell if you won't." You kissed him slowly, tongue prodding into his mouth while you rolled your hips above his.

Jotaro had always thought about his first kiss with you, and this scenario wasn't one of them, but he wasn't going to complain. He'll take it. His hands came up and just rested on your sides, the feeling of touching your skin was exhilarating.

Pulling back again, you slowly removed your shirt and worked on discarding your skirt, shaking your hips seductively in front of him in just the matching bra and panties.

He was starting to get a little more comfortable with the dance now. He wasn't as ruffled as he was when he first arrived or when you started dancing on him. "You are beautiful." He sighed, burning your imagine into his mind.

Straddling him again, you continued to dance, grinding up and down his body and giving a few kisses. Jotaro now squirmed under you, arms at his side like they had been glued there. "Whats the matter?" You asked, a little worried.

The nervousness in his voice returned. "I'm, uh..." He looked down between his legs, you followed his gaze and smiled. He was incredibly hard, pants fully tented. "I'm sorry." He blushed.

"Jotaro..." You cooed. "Don't be sorry about that. Stuff like this happens all the time. I'm not allowed to help though, if you need to take care of it, there is a washroom just through that door there."

His eyes flicked to the door. It was an option, yes, but its not what he was looking for. Returning his attention to you, he pulled you into another kiss. "W-What do you think about getting out of here? Maybe go back to my place?"

You blinked, taken back from his question. Did you want to go with him? Your gut said 'absolutely'. But you were still scheduled for another few hours to dance. "I still need to finish my shift here."

Jotaro pulled you closer, his arms tightly around you in an embrace. "You dont need to work here anymore." Kissing your neck, he whispered into your ear. "I'll take care of you."

And that's just what he did.

Since then, he had paid off all your debt so you didn't have to work three jobs anymore; just keeping your day job for you to pay your rent. You worked together on projects in class and hung out frequently at each other's apartments. The rumors died down after everyone saw the two of you dating.

As for more lap dances, those were left to the privacy of your shared nights.

[qqueenofhades]

I graduated undergrad a few years ago and finally “figured stuff out” what I wanted to apply for. I narrowed it down to either a career in HR or as a librarian/MLIS. I chose HR since it’s college courses rather than a masters degree, but now I worry that I would have loved being a librarian. I have a real fear of making mistakes so I second guess everything lol I start my HR program in Sept 2020. My undergrad is in women studies/gender studies/feminist research.

First of all, congratulations on applying for things! I’m applying for things right now and it’s the actual relentless soul-crushing worst, especially when the default position is just to ignore you and not say anything at all. I applaud you for doing that and making a decision and moving toward your future, which is especially difficult at this point in time. So yes. Genuine and many kudos. Also, A+ excellent major, do approve.

I am the same way in terms of being afraid of making mistakes and second-guessing everything, including how my own educational career progressed, even though I am sitting here with a PhD and a lot of student debt and an absolutely abysmal job market and other exciting souvenirs for my trouble. I don’t regret the overall result, just that I constantly worry that I could have done it better along the way if I ever had a goddamn clue what I was actually doing (but then had to learn it and probably couldn’t have known it beforehand, but still blamed myself for not magically knowing it, because that’s the way anxiety works! Hooray). So I get the gnawing fear that oh no, you might be making a mistake, what if this derails your whole future, etc.

I’m not sure if you want me to tell you that you should go ahead with HR, or make a last-minute switch to being a librarian, and I can’t do that anyway, since it’s your call. It depends on how much you like school and lots of finicky detail, since the time that I worked in libraries during my master’s degree left me with a real admiration for people who can do it as a career. They are forces of nature and should not be messed with. If you do want to pursue it professionally, then yes, you will need the MLIS, since I doubt any major institutional or university or private library will hire you without it. I can’t say for sure, but I feel like the MLIS programs are difficult to get into and often quite expensive in terms of tuition, so that’s something else to consider. (Then again, you could say that for almost any higher degree, particularly the expensive part.)

However, I will say that in my experience, if you feel that you really want to do something, and that not doing it would just take you away from it in terms of a perceived “better” option, it’s worth thinking it through again and understanding what exactly caused you to make your current decision. I’m not going to knock anyone for going with what they feel might be safer employment, especially in the middle of 800 crises (not least a pandemic causing massive job losses) and the fact that libraries are so relentlessly defunded and underappreciated anyway. It’s a long and hard slog to make a career in the humanities to start with, but especially when libraries are first to go on the chopping block despite providing some of the most critical services in any society. So I do get the sense that no matter how much you love it, you might want to be careful.

Nonetheless: librarians are awesome, and we need as many of them as we can get. So if you do feel like you still want to explore it (and hey, there’s still time to do that!), I absolutely do support it.