#and now all gen z can think about when they hear her name is the cream that a former english prince put on his dick

[pollenallergie]

it’s so hard not to buy prince harry’s audiobook… like i just want a good laugh but also i don’t want to financially encourage him to continue writing. in fact, i think if he so much as opens a blank google doc again in his life, he should be shot with a tranquilizer dart and hauled off to an emergency therapy session.

[trippingontheescalator]

Curious about the direction the HP fandom has gone

Okay, so as an old HP fan from way back when the books were first coming out, and then getting hit with the nostalgia and decided to return after years and years of not interacting with the fandom at all, the changes are truly mindboggling and I'd love to get to the bottom of some things.

Like, the disappearance of Blaise Zabini. Blaise was a fan favorite way back when we only knew his name but now I barely hear a whisper of his name. Now, the obvious answer is racism, which I think is the #1 reason why Blaise-pairings have dropped of significantly. Back then we all thought Blaise was a hot Italian girl, and then we found out he's a black man and suddenly people stop writing about him? Hm, yeah, seems the obvious answer (especially considering the popularity of other characters who are just a name on a page *cough*regulusblack*cough*).

Or the rise in Snape-hate. Like, Snape used to be the fan favorite. Everyone loved Snape. The meaner he was, the more we liked him. Being mean to children was a plus, not a negative lol. And this was back when we all thought he was a pureblood who came from a wealthy family like the Malfoys. Now by the time the 7th book came out I had pretty much moved on and so I didn't really see the fallout of readers discovering his actual background, so I don't know if his drop in popularity is classism and learning that he isn't a palette-swapped Lucius Malfoy or not, but honestly I would figure his impoverished background would be a plus in these times. Like Snape is obviously one of JKR's least favorite characters, and considering how she-who-must-not-be-named has destroyed her reputation with her increasing radicalization you'd figure the poor, abused, author-hating character would become more beloved instead of the rich, white, heteronormative bullies who barely even show up in the books. Like with our increasing knowledge of social injustice, I just don't understand why the fandom would want to latch onto the Marauders? And I just can't believe Snape's handful of snippets with Lily is the cause of his downfall (like what's there is barely enough to fill up a few pages, and there are certainly more toxic relationships in the series that are still beloved), or the fact that he was a Death Eater or that he inadvertently caused the deaths of the Potters (we already knew that in GoF and HPB respectively and he was still beloved, and this was when we assumed he didn't give a shit about the Potters or if they died when he went snitching). Draco is still popular. DRACO who doesn't give two shits about slinging around the word "mudblood," as opposed to Snape who actually changed for the better.

Am I just too old to understand? Is this like 90s fashion coming back in style (no, I won't do it again, I don't care if it's cringy I'm sticking with my millennial styles, I did the platforms and the slip dresses and the cargo pants in high school and I'm not putting myself through that again lol you gen z's can pry my comfortable mom jeans from my cold, dead fingers, I don't care if it makes me look old, that's the point, I AM old). Like, in addition to 90s fashion, has the 90s obsession with luxury athletic fashion like Lacoste come back in style? All those fashion ads of rich white people on yachts with popped collar polos? Are people starting to obsess over the Marauders because nouveau riche conspicuous consumption is coming back in style? It can't all just be young kids who have only read AtYD and have never actually opened one of the books, can it?

There also seems to be a trend of treating characters as if they're real people. I mean, we've always done it (Snape Wives, I'm looking at you), but now it almost feels as if the crimes characters commit are treated as if they're real crimes and that liking them is somehow a moral failing on the reader's fault. If you were to say "I don't like Snape, his douchy actions anger me, I'd rather skip all the parts he shows up in" I'd say, cool, I get that. That's normal. But "Snape is an abuser, a racist, and an incel and if you like him you're probably those things too" is fucking weird. Like, Harry and Hermione are not real children. Snape is not a real person. The things that happen in this book have as much influence on the real world as me imagining ninjas breaking into my workplace on a slow day. And that "media does not exist in a vacuum" pisses me off because it's blatantly misused. The pieces of media that have had serious consequences? Jaws, The Birth of a Nation. One resulted in the culling of sharks, the other helped restart the KKK. Do you know what those two pieces of media have in common? They're not about fucking wizards and magic schools. They instead paint a target on real groups. After twenty years nobody has ever tried to hurt a marginalized group of people because of a harry potter book (except for JKR herself).

Anyway, these are just some random thoughts, feel free to chime in with your own.

[neyafromfrance95]

are we EVER going to talk about the ageism against women properly?

bc it has been growing rampant in gen z and the arguments against it aren't exactly addressing the issue through examining the double standards people have for women and men.

yes, ageing is a privilege but i don't think that this argument is doing anything to dismantle the patriarchal mentality that is ingrained in our culture.

in many ways, people's counterpoint to "women expire after the xyz age" is basically "well, ageing is a privilege and natural so you should be ok with being an expired undesirable grandma whose only purpose is taking care of children bc at least you're not dead". we are never going to actually dismantle the ageism against women if this is our only argument.

we have to address the fact that women aren't allowed the same standards that men are.

men are allowed to have two types of desirability - a boy and a man. we don't say that men in their 50s look good *for* their age, we say that they grew well into their age, we simply say that they are attractive 50 years olds.

but women can only be and feel beautiful and desirable if they are young. if a woman in her 50s is objectively fine, we say that she looks good *for* her age, insinuating that there is no way she could ever *just* look good at 50, no "for"s, since she isn't 19-25 anymore and that's the only age range when a woman is truly attractive and desirable.

isn't this actually abhorrent? the fact that people can live up to about 100 years but women are taught to believe that only in 6 of these years they are in their prime? that patriarchy tells women that after their early 20s they are expired and the only valid way for them to be desirable and beautiful is to try to replicate the qualities of the 20 years old version of themselves that according to the same patriarchy, older women can no longer posses?

and the argument that women should not wish to be desirable at all in the name of feminism is very faulty, imo. it often comes from young and pretty women who don't really understand what being deemed "undesirable" in society means. the assumption that women being ok with the patriarchy telling them that they should feel expired after 25, should feel like they looked better in their 20s even if they take a better care of themselves now, should just do the "grandma" stuff while their male counterparts still get to experience romance and the life to its fullest, is not going to be some kind of a feminism win.

the "ageing is a privilege" has started to feel like an argument for women to once again settle for the bare minimum (at least you aren't dead) and conform to the unfair limitations the patriarchy forces on women.

i think what needs to change is us giving these misogynistic double standards any sort of validation. they are not rooted in some kind of universal truth about the inherent difference between men and women, they are rooted in patriarchy. we need to stop acting like younger and older women are in competition and start acknowledging that both are desirable and beautiful in their own ways.

i know that this post won't get much traction, but i feel like we need to talk about this topic more bc the internalized ageism that gen z women have is going to mess them up and the counterpoints to their assumptions are sometimes weak and unhelpful.

edit: thanks for yall's input in the reblogs! i would love to hear more from people so please feel free to reblog and say all that's on your mind regarding this subject since we really need to start addressing this and keep the conversation going!

[gacha-incels]

It's astounding that these liberal bootlickers *still* can't do the basic ass things of just re-examine those official posts, consult with those who can speak the language and look up the translated threads of the unions' responses.

And before anyone tries to rebuke, no, the things said in both the August & September posts WEREN'T condemnation, just vague corporate reassurances without any statements direct intentions or actions against the perpetrators.

Are these people that cocked up in their echo-chambers to hear out of another person's culture or are they *that* sensitive of hearing of things they like that has done bad things?

ngl at some point it really does feel obscene to me seeing people write about how PM & Limbus are some top tier progressive anticapitalist haven full of lgbt+ characters while Korean women try to tell them the company’s antifeminist actions are actively harming female workers and perpetuating this misogynistic 🤏 witch hunt.

like of course MTL is not perfect here but essentially she’s saying “if you’re a transphobe in PM’s fictional city it’s unacceptable but if you’re a feminist working for PM in reality you’re at risk of losing your job. I’m surprised people who are sensitive to representations of queer fictional characters are indifferent to the labor rights of Project Moon’s employees.” This is just one example, couple of days ago I had posted another, it comes up quite often. these users are trying to tell you that this is something that directly affects Korean women in reality and you just tell them, what? they’re wrong, they don’t get it, actually what PM did was normal in their country and they had no other choice?? it must be fine because the lead singer of mili is a woman and still works with PM and this is actually just like the hays code in the US? I honestly cannot believe someone had the gall to write that last one in their “PM masterpost”. the Korean users telling you this organized boycotts, frequent digital hashtag campaigns to get information out in multiple languages, completely removed fan accounts, created an organization to help victims of feminist ideological verification, monggeu came forward explaining her awful working conditions, Mimi legally took Wonderlab down because she did not want to be associated with project moon. honestly it’s been incredible watching them rise to the occasion and accomplish so much. and you think….what exactly when you see this? that actually all of these people directly affected by the misogynist, incel catering actions of project moon are just misguided fools who don’t understand what happened? that these women are worthy sacrifices for a gambling game because you think it has some epic capitalism takedown and there are male characters who have traditionally female names?

Why do they defend PM so vehemently in the face of critique? I think part of it is this increasingly common phenomenon where these fans need to think project moon must completely have the same progressive political leanings as them because they enjoy consuming the works and they consider themselves progressive, therefore the reverse must be true, that the media they enjoy must also be ideologically progressive because they enjoy it. it’s why they’re so shocked when someone completely different from them in political leanings enjoys PM’s games, we saw this as well when Arknights KR engaged in feminist ideological verification. these high earning gambling games can make all the vague political statements they want but it doesn’t mean jack shit if they’re engaging in antifeminism and harming employees in reality. in the past decade (and especially 2020 until now) “fandom” and “consuming content” have evolved into integral parts of these people’s personalities (especially those who are gen Z and younger) and have significant impacts on how they interact with others and how they see themselves. they wrack their brains coming up with excuses for project moon’s antifeminist actions and this genuinely gets fanfiction tier at some point.

like look at this example from that “PM masterpost” a user here on tumblr made. this is the same one we were discussing earlier that reposted rumors slandering the youth union.

beyond the ridiculous untrue claims (this is nothing like the hays code, what PM did was not normal, Mihoyo isn’t the only company that told incels to fuck off, they also have offices in SK and had literally dealt with a bomb threat at one of their SK events, etc…u get it, I’m not going thru every word) you can see this wild conjecture regarding the actions taken by the 2 studios. To me this is an example that shows how much these people defending Project Moon warp their thinking in order to keep believing this company is “progressive”. The company Mihoyo that did not respond to incels’ increasingly ridiculous harassment, blocked their livestream chat then deleted all their misogynistic comments in the next livestream and was one of the only (if not the only) targeted companies that did not take Studio Ppuri’s work for them down - this is presented as essentially “whatever” and further downplayed by saying “I personally doubt [this] was a part of any deeply held opinion on women’s rights.” And Project Moon, the company that folded to incel demands immediately, fired a woman at their behest, sued unions and condemned them in their later statements while saying absolutely nothing about the incels that caused the incident, put memes in their gacha game from the very community these incels came from, makes sure to dutifully censor any🤏 in their gambling game, worked the Leviathan artist so hard she contemplated suicide frequently and had to get IVs? These things are presented as just inevitabilities of operating in South Korea and PM is lauded as “I can’t believe PM is fundamentally misogynistic.” The editorializing is absurd. imo there also comes a time where you compare your “poor little South Korean gacha game who just got caught in the crossfire and actually they are totally progressive and feminist 🥺” to the “Chinese company Mihoyo who does whatever to keep getting the most money and has no morals about it” that at some point starts to lean heavier on sinophobia. I’m not here to blow smoke up Mihoyo’s ass but I do think their action regarding the korean incels’ harassment was significant at a time when companies were falling over themselves to kiss incel ass. And, as has been discussed before on this blog, Project Moon’s capitulation to incels was also significant just in the opposite, misogynistic direction. idk it just gets so unbelievably frustrating to see English speaking users who believe themselves to be “progressive” or “leftist” making excuses because they want to keep playing videogames without feeling guilt meanwhile the Korean fanbase has consistently mobilized digitally and irl to spread info, protest, raise money, etc. like how are you not feeling any shame whatsoever after seeing how principled they are?

[vertigoblockbuster]

ज्येष्ठा

Jyestha: Victory, jealousy

Jyestha is Nakshatra Eighteen

Nakshatras are sometimes called lunar mansions - one full cycle of the moon equates to it's passage through all twenty-seven nakshatras, or all of it's twenty-seven 'homes' or 'mansions.' In this way, the moon is of utmost prominence in Vedic astrology - a key difference from astrology in the West, where the placement of the Sun is generally revered as being most important.

Jyestha means "eldest one" in Sanskrit. It also can mean "first one," "right one," "most victorious." If we think of the twenty-seven nakshatras as being twenty-seven sisters, Jyestha would be the oldest - despite this not being the final nakshatra in the Vedic zodiac. Although Jyestha is the oldest, wisest, and presumably the best by her name, it is the nakshatra Rohini who is the favorite dwelling place (mansion) of the moon.

A dark side of Jyestha nakshatra is it's tendency towards jealousy. Rohini, while not the wisest or 'best' of the nakshatras, is favored above all the others by the moon - this kind of thing greatly agitates Jyestha. There is a deep pride at this point in the zodiac. While they often come by their pride honestly by way of perseverance and victory through personal hardship, there is a danger of feeling entitled to special treatment. If A Jyestha person is (in their mind) robbed of the attention or respect they deserve, these are people that can be viscerally covetous. Of course, the inverse may be true as well - Jyestha people are commonly on the receiving end of jealousy coming at them from other people.

In the neo-pagan feminine triad of maiden, mother, and crone (represented by the waxing, full, and waning moon phases), Jyestha is the crone (Rohini, sitting opposite to Jyestha on the zodaic wheel, is the maiden). She is a wise and weathered old woman with a wealth of knowledge and sage advice. She has accumulated her life's lessons and now seeks to pass them down to her younger sisters. She expects her advice to be heeded, her presence respected. And rightfully so - she possesses priceless lived experience.

It's easy to love an old woman who doesn't give a fuck. She knows that she knows better than you... why would she care about your opinion? There is a deep inner knowing that radiates from Jyestha people, and they are made all the more attractive by their confidence in their beliefs, values, morals, etc.. They carry an air of victory, even in moments of defeat. They know that for every moment of despair there is a moment of bliss, for every defeat a victory. Defeat to Jyestha people simply implies that victory is ensured in the future.

Jyestha is Located at 16°40' to 30°00' Scorpio

In the astrology community (or at least the pop-astrology community) Scorpio is one of the most widely misunderstood and stigmatized signs. Traditionally Scorpio has been associated with the planet Pluto while modern astrologers have come to associate it this sign with Mars. The constellation ruling Scorpio is Scorpius, with the bright red star anteres at it's heart. It's symbolized by.. a scorpion.

If you run in astrological circles you've probably been hearing a lot about Pluto in recent months. That's because it recently entered Aquarius after being in Capricorn since 2008. Pluto is going to retrograde back into Capricorn one more time in 2024 before it slides into Aquarius for the long haul, from November of this year until 2043. When it changes sign its kind of a big deal.

It takes Pluto about 250 years to orbit the sun and complete it's journey through the zodiac. For this reason its considered to be an outer or generational planet because the sign that Pluto is in stays the same for a long time. A cohort of people born in the same time period will have an outer planet in the same sign. Most millennials will have Pluto in Scorpio, and most of Gen Z will have Pluto in Sagittarius.

Pluto moves slow and his effects are profound. Pluto is Hades, god of the underworld. From this linkage it's easy to understand Pluto's connection to death, rebirth, riches and wealth (thinking about mining as literally going underground to find precious metals). As the underworld planet, Pluto rules over things that effect us that we can't see - material buried in the subconscious. Potent Pluto transits unearth patterns in our life that we didn't know we had - or were in denial about. Pluto is tricky because when it's truly operating you aren't aware of it. It is a planet that brings us face to face with our own psyches.

It should be noted that Jyestha's association with Scorpio depends on the astrologer you ask. Sidereal versus Tropical calculations will tell you different things... you might be a Scorpio ascendant using sidereal calculations and a Sagittarius ascendant using tropical calculations. The reason sidereal astrological calculations give different placement results from tropical ones is because the sidereal system takes into account the 'wobble' of the earth's rotating axis. More about that here: https://www.whitelotusoflight.com/blog/sidereal-vs-tropical-zodiac-and-why-it-matters

Jyestha Falls at a Gandanta Point - Places of Transformation in the Zodiac

Vedic astrology notes three places in the zodiac where (potentially volatile) changes take place in an individual. These places are called gandanta points and can be found where the water signs meet the fire signs - on the Pisces-Aries cusp (Revati/Ashwini), the Cancer-Leo cusp (Ashlesha/Magha), and the Scorpio-Sagittarius cusp (Jyestha/Mula).

"Gand" means knot and "Anta" means end. Gandanta points are where karmic knots are tied and untied, depending on previous lives and where someone is in terms of soul evolution. Only you can untie knots that you have tied. This is why for people with prominent natal placements in gandanta nakshatras (look at the sun, moon, and ascendant signs in particular) are faced with difficulty in their lives. They are here to unlearn and relearn new and different ways of being to ultimately merge with universal consciousness. This comes through exposure to (sometimes painful) life lessons. If you pay attention, different iterations of the same lesson come to you over and over until you have mastered how to handle it. This is the cyclical nature of karma. We are constantly creating and releasing karma, this is the reality of living in a physical world of cause-and-effect. Until you are different (untying the knot/breaking the karmic cycle), you will get the same.

A lot of fear-mongering is out there about gandanta points. It's human nature to be afraid of what we don't understand, and a lot of the time we don't understand why we suffer difficulty and pain. I think that these gandanta points are master courses in surrender. The way you thought things were, the way you thought they should be, no longer works. It doesn't matter how tightly we cling to how things were, these gandanta points pry from our hands what we thought was true to reveal Truth. Reality, whether we like it or not, makes itself known. To progress past who we have been, we have to let go of who we were and fully surrender - thus untying the karmic knot so we can tie a new one.

Indra: King of the Gods

We can derive a lot about the unique characters of the 27 nakshatras through investigating their ruling deities and Jyestha is no exception. Jyestha's deity Indra is one of the most important gods in the Vedic pantheon. He is god of the skies, controlling rain, thunder, and storms (often depicted artistically as wielding a lightning bolt or vajra). His connection with storms associates him as a warrior god and he was often invoked before battles. He is king of the devas, king of the gods.

Indra's most famous moment of victory is his battle with the demonic serpent Vritra. Vritra stole all the water on earth, bringing drought upon all it's inhabitants. To prepare for his fight against Vritra, Indra consumed copious amounts of the ritual drink Soma to provide him with supernatural strength and energy. Using his Vajra (a kind of weaponized version of a lightning bolt) Indra vanquished Vritra by removing his head.

At the time of Indra's battle with Vritra it was Varuna who ruled the gods. Upon his return from battle Indra saw his opportunity to usurp Varuna. The way he did this was by whispering in the gods' ears, planting seeds of doubt regarding Varuna's ability to lead. "If Varuna is such a good leader... why was it me who killed Vritra?" This is very Jyestha behavior - these people are indirect, intelligent, and calculating. They constantly look to work situations in their favor. They don't lie, exactly. They also aren't inclined to tell the truth, especially if doing so is not advantageous to their own goals.

Indra, while one of the most powerful and important Vedic deities, is known for possessing human qualities and flaws. He drinks soma heavily, revealing his susceptibility to drunkenness and addiction. He is prideful and selfish, taking a position of power by means of manipulation and deception. He has obvious human vices and traits.

In many of Indra's blunders in Vedic mythology, his pride is often the cause of his downfall. This is perhaps the most important lesson we learn from Jyestha nakshatra - the greatest protection against rivals (and those with Jyestha prominent in their chars are almost guaranteed to face rivals in their lifetime - this is the cost of reaching for victory) is humility. The greatest leaders and victors are those no one can possibly spin negative stories about because of their unwavering goodness. Jyestha people have to learn to be humble (at least outwardly) no matter how victorious they become in their lives. To not do this is to ensure inevitable defeat. Perhaps by the same means through which they claimed their own victories.

A Song with Definite Jyestha Vibes: Getaway Car by Taylor Swift (Jyestha Sun)

I'm in a getaway car I left you in a motel bar Put the money in a bag and I stole the keys That was the last time you ever saw me

--------------------------

Check out Vic Dicara's YouTube channel for more information about Vedic astrology.

[mamaiaminlovewiththemoon]

Small tidbit while I'm building character and challenge ideas.

Honestly, I like seeing the interns working on the show and hosting challenges (or whatever interns do on reality TV sets), so I'm changing the B plot and adding more interns.

The first and biggest change to the rewrite is Nina is no longer a puppet(being?) She is now a 9 year old who is a toned down version of Fiore who stays behind the scene while her uncle, Marcus, takes care of her during filming since she has no parents and he didn't want to leave her alone (last time he did, the house was covered in plastic and some weapons) She's a bit of a troublemaker who might have a tyrant problem but everyone is okay with her and like her so we cool.

Second, Emily does not get fired at all! (I hate that ONC did that). She stays as the social media intern.

Now, time for some ocs (yay!) My intern oc is this 17 year old girl named Emara (sometimes goes by Mara) who is a a bit of a fan girl of the show (and mostly this one character)

Photo reference

She works on the cast outfits in special episodes, creates some of the challenges, and even budgets the show money's. The Network wanted Kristal to pander towards Gen Z (their words) by hiring some teens, so when she posted this offer on the Shows insta account, Mara was quick to apply, begging in Kristals dm 35 times asking for the job (Emara will deny later on when asked) before Kristal finally hired her. (More on backstory later)

Now, HEAR ME OUT! I had this idea that since Trevor and Derek got rid of most of the animals that lived in the woods (plus some interns, thanks to Jensen), Kristal wanted to hire someone to handle and take care of the wildlife during the filming w/o hurting them again but she couldn't find anyone right for the job. But Oliver said he knew someone perfect after finding on this old help site. Drum roll please 🥁.....Dawn from ROTI!

When they reached out to her about this opportunity, she quickly said yes and asked to bring her friend to help out as well. That friend being Cameron!! He focuses on the editing, filming, and technological part of the show (I headcanon them as friends♡). He joined the show for a fresh start (dude is getting burnout during college, struggles, man. Plus, money)

Now, Trevek. I did like them a bit thinking they were married, but season 3 also ruined them with this stupid drama, so they are now boyfriends, where Derek was gotta propose after the season finale but they got jailed so no marriage. Since I'll be making this rewrite as comics (and the occasional fanfic if I could muster up the will to do so), not much of the interns can be affected to the main plot least I feel like it.

Next up, the season 3 cast (also with some ocs 'cause free will!)

Bye!

[zaynmirrors]

Fire on Fire: Part 19 (10k)

I can’t fucking believe Murphy, well actually I can. He would find the only functioning correctional institute and then drug me and throw me in here in the middle of the fucking apocalypse. I’ve lost count of how many days I’ve been here, I should’ve started counting the medicine cups that are filled with fucking peanuts.

You want to know what he told them? I was a grieving widow, that had tried to commit suicide. Nurse Ratched “diagnosed” me with severe depression, and postpartum psychosis because he also told her my child died and I hallucinated a girl named Emma. He really covered his fucking bases. That nurse will never let me leave now. 

I stayed locked in this padded cell day in and day out. Nurse keeping me doped up enough to sleep majority of the day. Keeping track of the days were impossible even if I tried. I think one day I was conscious enough to hear them struggle putting someone in the padded cell next to me but also at the same time I could’ve imagined it.  

The door to my room opened, fucking nurse. “Get up Mrs. Gonzalez you’re moving to gen. pop.” Oh, yeah. I forgot to mention he gave them Angels last name to really twist the knife. How he knew Angels last name was beyond me but regardless he knew it. 

I stood with the nurses help. She walked around me to stop at my back, carefully undoing the straps to the straight jacket that kept me contained. I could break her neck easily, that would be if it weren’t for the sedatives that still lived in my system. 

She led the way down twisting pale walls, to a common room where a mix of nut jobs walked around. She introduced them, all except for the one in the straight jacket. Who in all honesty kinda looked like Doc. Holy shit that was Doc. 

Now play it cool y/n, I sat down in the seat next to him, hearing him groan softly. A couple other patients following suit. We all sat there staring at one another until Doc awoke. Of course she mistook him for an actual doctor though I guess he really is one with his PhD. 

He looked over at me keeping his face stoic. How we seemed to end up together was beyond me but I’ll gladly have the universe on my side. She of course made him diagnose patients to prove his skill was true. 

“Mrs Gonzalez is our second newest patient, dropped off by her poor uncle. I was hesitant to take her in but once he said she had lost both her husband and child and was trying to join them, I knew I had to take her on.” oh spare me the righteousness act. “Would you join me Doctor to look at the newest intake?”

“Uh sure” Doc got up and went with her. I sat there alone counting down the seconds for that familiar face to show back up. Nothing against the other patrons but they weren’t my cup of tea. When Doc came back his face was unreadable. 

He spoke with the nurse, I could hear bits and pieces about the patient needed meds. I stood walking closer to listen in. Doc was needing to run recon into an infested ward to get this poor patient meds. 

Nurse Ratched tried to talk him out of it, saying it was a death march but Doc denied, said he’d be okay. So we all took a field trip to the infested ward that you just had to walk through to get the medications. Doc grabbed a broken IV pole as I said “I’m going with you Doctor” before Nurse Ratched had any time to detest Doc handed me the other half of the IV pole. Nurse Ratched sighed heavily and opened the door.  

Once the doors shut behind us we headed down the hall. “How the hell did you get here” Doc started but stopped before asking anything else as a Z came toward him. He easily piked it. “Murphy” was the only answer he needed before he sighed and said “Damn Murphy, hey kid not to freak you out but we’re getting meds for 10K” 

I paused, every emotion I could think of running through me at once and just landing in the pit of my stomach. “He’s here?” Doc nodded, I pushed the feelings that threatened to spill out of my throat down. “What’s going on?”

Doc sighed entering the pharmacy, “I don’t know, he’s all kinds of fucked up right now” opening the cabinets he began taking bottles of medication and putting them in the pillow case. “He’s mumbling about you and Emma, hell murphy too.” Guilt panged in my chest, this wasn’t going to be easy. Seeing him and explaining everything all the while he’s for a lack of better words dying. 

I stayed silent as we made our way back, Pete the OCD patient letting us back in. Doc made off to the surgery suite they held 10K in. I stood at the door watching as Doc started mixing medications together and making some fucked science concoction. He pulled it up in a syringe as 10k started seizing again. “A little help!” Doc shouted towards me. 

I lept into action pulling him over to the side making sure he wouldn’t choke to death. Doc shoved the needle into his ass and injected him. 10K lolled back and laid there for a moment before julting up. “How you feel?” Doc asked. 

“I don’t know” He said before falling back against the gurney and immediately snoring. I walked out after that, not being able to see him like that and not being able to the thought of him waking up and seeing me. 

I sat in the common room after that, away in a corner with a book even though I’m wasn’t reading it in the slightest, just stared at the pages until they looked like alphabet soup. “Y/n” Doc said my name softly pulling me from my daze. I looked up at him to see Elvis holding onto a conscious 10k. “He’s still really out of it but we gotta get out of here” I couldn’t agree more. 

While they’re doing their recreation time we sneak out the back. “There’s bus over there” Doc says holding up 10ks almost dead weight. I run over and start hot wiring the bus and drive it as close to Doc and 10k as I can. 

Doc gets 10k louded and takes over the driver's seat, I take the seat behind him. 10K slept a couple seats behind us. “I literally have no idea what to say when he wakes up”

Doc sighed “Just tell him the truth, be honest with him. The kid loves you and I’m sure he’d understand” I could only hope he did. Only hope he didn’t resent me for what I did. I also hope that Emma was still doing okay. 

Taglist:

@whenmypartysover @isimpfordanielpark @multifandomlesbianic @ophelia-nightt @peezbabey @lizzardgreene @lizx13 @nohemi2500

@missricecrispy

Part 20

[beardedmrbean]

I read with a mixture of sadness and relief an essay by one Melissa Persling, who by all accounts represents the average 30-something woman in America today. In the article, she laments the fact that she’s single at 38 and feels "unbelievably betrayed by feminism." 

Persling feels that way because it is that way. For decades our culture has failed women by spreading falsehood after falsehood about men, marriage, motherhood and career. It’s been a slow, daily drip of "You go, Girl!" messages, specifically designed to delete men and babies from life’s equation. And it has wreaked havoc on women’s lives. 

In an interview with Fox News, Persling explained why she wrote her article. "I wrote a lot of that article like truly scared … I really did think, like, wow, you’ve missed your opportunity. You are going to be alone. You’re not going to have a family." 

She adds, "I was constantly fed this idea that women can do everything. We don’t really need men … I do feel in many ways betrayed by that line of thinking." 

Persling then concedes that she received this message from "so many of the women" in her life. "I want to go back to some of those teachers and coaches and say, ‘What the hell did you mean by that? Because we can’t do it all. We can’t. That’s a lie!’" 

Yes, it was all a lie — and good on Persling for calling it out in such a public way. 

Still, it’s a super hard pill to swallow, made worse by the fact that Persling has been slammed with hateful comments, particularly from men, who insist she’s been selfish. She’s a product of her choices, they say, and, well, too bad. 

It’s not that simple. 

As a life and relationship coach, I hear regularly from women like Persling who realize they’ve been duped by the narrative that being an independent, self-sustaining woman is enough to be happy. It makes perfect sense that these women would find themselves, down the road, overcome with grief at the prospect of living life alone. And they can’t turn to the culture for help because the culture hails singlehood as the be all, end all. 

Persling was smart to recognize that being a product of divorce also put her at a disadvantage since she saw women "taking care of everything" in life. Her mother may not have specifically groomed her to be a feminist, but she absorbed the feminist message of not needing a man all the same. No one told her otherwise. 

America is now saturated with women like Persling, who acted upon the wisdom passed along to them by the people they most trusted. These women thought they did everything right, only to have it turn out all wrong. To accept that the advice they received was based on lies is a hard lesson for anyone to learn. 

The truth is, this purportedly "liberated" path women have been groomed to travel has a domino effect. Because if the goal isn’t marriage and family, what is the goal? To be satisfied with being single forever because at least you have a paycheck and no one to whom you must answer? As Persling said, "I don’t want to wake up at 60 and say, ‘Oh, well, I had a lot of fun!’" 

The problem with the narrative women have been fed is that it deleted the old way but didn’t replace it with anything new. It conveniently left out the details about how women are supposed to live their lives instead. 

I believe Persling when she said she’s "not even a feminist." That’s the thing about movements and trends: They seep into the culture to such a degree that they cease to need a name at all. You don’t even recognize it’s there, and yet it’s governing your every move. 

As Danielle Crittenden wrote in "What Our Mothers Didn’t Tell Us," feminism "had seeped into their minds like intravenous saline into the arm of an unconscious patient. They were feminists without knowing it." 

But now, thanks to Persling’s bravery, more women will wake up. 

[nearestend]

oc ideas that i have been sitting on for awhile but don't know if i want to do yet ... all of these could work for affiliated ocs, just saying. if someone wants to do that.

tom ?? idk, i've just been calling him tom

he's like ... either a bank robber or con artist but i think he has some type of powers too. maybe precognition or something similar

it's something like a family business with his uncle and his cousin (i named her phoebe but that could change). his cousin probably has powers too, not sure about the uncle yet

in terms of like, The Vibes? it's from dusk till dawn inspired, but only the season one stuff before it gets crazy and plot twisty. worth noting that i like the concept of that show more than i like the actual execution

also that one movie called push from like 2009 and it was set in hong kong and there were super powers. i don't remember much about this movie because i haven't seen it in ages and don't want to google right now but i was very much in love with it at the time it was released. mostly because i had a very normal heterosexual interest in d.akota f.anning when i was a kid. yeah idk not the plot but the vibes of that

the actress who i haven't named yet

she was an up and coming stage actress at some point, still young and fresh in her career. very talented and beloved but not quite a household name. probably also a little bit delusional in thinking she was way cooler and more popular than she actually was though

the thing is ... she is dead. the actual events surrounding that might not matter so much because she doesn't have any recollection of it. she died in a hotel and now haunts the building. hotel guests have often reported hearing her singing at night

time period in which she's from might be ambiguous but i like her being a little bit old timey, classic glamour

i figure this would be a fun one to do because any interactions could be between her and either hotel staff or guests

also doesn't have a name yet so i'm calling this one vampy for now

like ... a gen z vampire

was chronically online and whatnot, but can no longer post selfies or videos due to vampires not being able to capture on camera. devastated about it

i really picture this one as an affiliated character with an older vampire as their sire. not centuries old, but possibly from the 60s or 70s, so it's a bit retro while still somewhat modern. some cultural and generational clashing us to be expected

horror comedy vibes because that's sort of my favourite genre at the moment

it turns out i haven't given any of these guys names (except tom). i thought i did

some dude (gender tbd) who can breathe perfectly underwater, but needs some type of specialized mask to survive on land.

possibly mute due to the mask they have to wear. communicates by either writing things down or gesturing and is learning sign languages

power to control liquids of any kind, so they can like ... make a car explode by controlling the gasoline in the tank

the beekeeper

literally a beekeeper. wholesome, cheerful. sells honey at farmers markets

can also control and weaponize bees to attack and is immune to their stings

literally chuck from p.ushing d.aisies but intensified

[foster-the-moths]

Tell me abt AD!! She sounds awesome

YESSSSSS THANK YOU WOOO!!! okay. so. warnings for death, assisted suicide, and suicide. i think thats all.

so originally she was a passion project. the guy who made her spent over 20 years coding her mostly by himself!! he started coding her around late 70s early 80s maybe?? and booted her up for the first time early 2000s. the reason he made her was he basically saw AI getting a bad rep and thought to himself. hm. i could do better. and he started off by treating her more like a human child! like instead of copy pasting a dictionary directly into her brain he took a more interactive approach. giving her visual and audio input (a camera and microphone) so she could see and hear the world around her. from there he would teach her the alphabet, how to read, ect. after about 10 years maybe?? she is fully sentient and intelligent and her creator basically reveals her to the public eye!! eventually she gets to work at nasa and her ai is replicated + industrialized (the coding not her). she gets transferred to a space station and has a wonderful time with her astronaut family operating the station (it is basically her body) until. a nuclear war breaks out. and her and the others on board watch the planet they love get destroyed right before their eyes. and then they run out of food. after a while its clear they are not surviving either way, and they decide theyd rather have her mercy kill them than starve to death. she releases carbon monoxide into the room their gathered in and. now shes alone. im not entirely sure how long shes alone for, but eventually she decides she's had enough. she stops course correcting the orbit of the station and just. lets herself get pulled by the earth's gravity. she wants to be on earth one last time, and she wants to lay her crew to rest. she crashes the space station into the surface of the earth but uh. she survives. to her relief and severe disappointment. she leaves a big ol crater in the wasteland and just. rusts there. for years. until later on Tesa and Warren find her!! and she (reluctantly) joins their little family :] disclaimer i do not know a lot about coding or space so. i have a LOT of research to do lol. feel free to ask more about anything here because theres a LOT happening and this is just her backstory, her story only ACTUALLY starts when she meets warren and tesa (and cerberus).

more fun facts about her:

-'A.D.' is actually more of a title! like 'mr.' or 'ms.' or 'mx.' it stands for 'Autonomous Device' which is basically a rebrand of 'Artificial Intelligence' her actual name would be 'Sibylle' (but u can also call her A.D. it doesnt matter lol)

-'Sibylle' is an actual name!! it originates from the word 'sibyl', which has a lot of definitions and rules to what exactly qualifies as one, but in simple terms is basically a female prophet.

-'A.D. Sibylle' is actually an anagram for 'Daisy Bell' :]

-she had a twitter. maybe she even ran the official NASA twitter. purely for shits and giggles. she IS technically Gen Z after all.

[polyamorouspunk]

legimately feel bad for gen z, never grew up with privacy and stuff like that. I know that one anon ofc very clearly stepped outta line n I made the joke anon msg about how u gotta tell me all ur info so I can call u a faker, but like legimately it's sad seeing kids put all their info online and when they're available or not etc etc, lotta gen z didn't grow up with properly privacy and the newer generation has it even worse. I hope the kids will be alright n we can push them into having more anonymity and privacy.

I said this in the tags but honestly if someone genuinely asks me a question about myself, I will answer, honestly sometimes even if it’s something I want to keep private. Recent events have reminded me that literally anyone can see this blog and follow me and I have no idea who they are. My Instagram isn’t private when a lot of people I know have theirs private but also I don’t really tag anything from where I live, the most I do is post pictures from my house but not with the town or anything. But I mean you can easily find where I work on here (like the exact store) if you tried, I’m pretty sure I’ve posted my full name multiple times on Savvy’s blog because I think I also grew up in that era where online privacy wasn’t a thing. I mean of course I got the “creepy men might be behind the computer screen catfishing you” but like idk I’m not saying I haven’t done things like that, they’re just mentioned conversationally not in a pinned post. I mean you can find my full first name on Savvy’s blog, obviously I don’t go by that and she prefers to go by Savvy because both are a bit more gender neutral and just more comfortable for us but. I have absolutely learned how to manipulate people to call them out for things I don’t like about them… mostly when they’re like exclusionists but if I really tried I’m sure I have the technical skills to like “cancel” someone for something they didn’t even mean out of context. I learned that by growing up in the internet age. How to take things out of context. That’s not really what you’re talking about but just another thing that came to mind. Like how much easier it is now to fake things and how 1. we are less trained to spot them and 2. they are deliberately made to be harder to spot as fakes. I mean I have had penpals though, I did just send out a shirt to someone who Savvy is mutuals with so like I have their address and they have mine. It’s a fine line. But I mean I used to listen to a stalker podcast (and by this I mean a literal podcast where two people interviews victims of stalking and told their story) and some of the stuff I heard on there was WILD. Just listened to a case I finished like half an hour ago about a woman who catfished a man into thinking he was dating her dying niece who the government and doctors were trying to kill and people ended up dying from the situation all from her charade of having multiple phone numbers and being able to fake personalities of characters she made up really easily. Just wild stuff. Had an assignment due last night that was a discussion board in biology and someone brought up technology and I was like we have the technology to literally change your bone structure and shit. Not the same as social media obviously but just like wild shit. Even at thanksgiving hearing one of my cousins was constantly talking to a boy in her class but my family said in class they like never speak to each other and I’m like that’s so wild. You don’t speak face to face but you see him every day. But you talk to him for hours every night. Just stuff like that is such a cultural shift. Such a fine line too as a parent between not trying to be overbearing and like read your kids text messages but also make sure they’re being safe. Can’t imagine how to navigate that as a parent. Like how do you know your child isn’t sending photos of themselves on Snapchat. Without like invading their privacy and reading their messages and stuff. Just wild.

[purplesurveys]

1922

Are you genuinely a fan of Starbucks or do you think it’s all hype? I'm a fan. I go there all the time to work; and even if I don't need to be there for work it's the type of place I'd go out of my way for to get a drink. I like the way their coffee tastes, I like that they're everywhere, I like that they have parking lol, and I like that the staff is always nice regardless of which branch you're in.

Are you a fan of garlic bread? It's great but I'm not Millennial/Gen Z levels of hyped over it.

Do you own any personalized clothing? What’s the reason for getting it? No tbh I find that sort of design cringey but you do you haha.

Have you bothered to think of the future lately? I guess. Sure.

Is there something you are always interested in? Anything to do with...the universe, tbh, and what's unknown about it. I always gravitate towards new discoveries or new breakthroughs when it comes to the ocean depth, or galaxies far away from us, or finding habitable elements or whatever it is on a distant planet. You get the gist. Anything that was never known before, I'd love to read more on.

What did you last hear that made your jaw drop? We had an IRL r/AITA discussion in my friend group because Hans apparently has struck a nerve with not only Angela but also her parents for continuing to act not quite his age despite their current engagement and wedding next year. I knew Angela's frustrations, but when she dropped that her parents (the nicest, quietest people on the face of the earth) were also starting to feel vocally disappointed, that's when I got really surprised and told her to deal with him on this like yesterday.

Will you be attending any concerts in the next month? No. The only concerts I'm waiting for would be Seventeen (without Jeonghan AGAIN, ugh why does the man avoid me?) and BTS.

What have you been worried about lately? My mental health.

Do you know how to swim? I know the basics and how to keep myself afloat, yes.

Do you think you could go a week without sugar? For the most part. I think I'll only struggle with coffee, but I know how to drink an iced Americano so I'll manage.

Are you a fast or slow reader? Fast.

What was the last thing to upset you? It was about work. I don't want to talk about it, but what I can share is that it was bad enough to make me not acknowledge my dogs when I got home that night, and I had a panic attack alone at 11 PM.

What was the first tattoo you got or what would be the first tattoo you’ll get? I want something dedicated to my pets, so I've always been thinking about pawprints.

What is your favourite kind of fruit cobbler? No thanks...

Is there a basement in your house? If so, what is it used for? No.

Have you driven a car today? No, but I did last night when I went to the movies by myself.

Have you eaten soup this week? I don't think I did, no.

When was the last time you were at a pet store? Can't remember.

What mode of transport did you take to high school? School service. In other words I took what we'd call a 'bus,' but in reality they're just vans haha - the likes of L300s, Hiaces, Urvans etc.

Name a personality trait of yours that you like. I am generous to the people I like and love.

Name something about your physical attraction that you dislike. I hate my hair right now as it's been unmaintained since losing the purple dye, and now the whole thing looks a way I'd personally call cheap. I spend a few minutes really getting into my hairstyle for the day and playing around with my hair so I can make the black and blonde look less messy.

Do you use a planner to keep track of your life? I have a to-do list for work but that's it.

Are your parents good cooks? My dad has been a chef all his life, so yes. My mom wouldn't count as a great cook but she cooks for us and I like her cooking all the same.

Have you ever made an item of clothing? No.

What was the most expensive bill you paid within the last month? I'm not in charge of bills but I did offer to buy a new microwave since our current one gave out, so that would technically be the answer.

What do you get complimented on the most? My writing. Every now and then someone'll say they like my hair but that I genuinely don't understand because it looks like shit now.

Do you believe in soul mates? No.

Who are the three most important people in your life? Angela and my parents.

Are you scared of the future? Not scared, maybe just agitated thinking about it not knowing what's yet to come.

What do you think of your best friend’s ex? She never had an ex.

Why did you go to the doctor the last time you went? Routine physical exam. I'm honestly surprised the results came out as well as they did, considering I don't exactly have the healthiest lifestyle.

Do you think you could handle a job in the medical field? Why or why not? No. I've heard the hours are grueling, and that's beside the fact that my profession lies nowhere near the medical field.

Do you prefer to play chess or checkers? I don't know how to play either but I'd love to be good at chess. I've always been a frustrated chess learner, i.e. I've had people teach me all the time how it works but nothing ever registers in my head lol.

If you had to go an entire week without using any technology, what do you think you would spend most of your time doing instead? Spend more time outdoors.

Do you prefer dark, brown or white chocolate? Dark or white.

How often do you wear necklaces? Never.

Would you rather wear a bracelet or a necklace? Necklace. Bracelets get in the way of writing/typing.

What’s your favorite song by Miley Cyrus? Slide Away.

Have you ever had a crush on a kinda-country boy? We don't really have the same sense/culture of 'country' as what I'm assuming this question is implying...the closest equivalent I can think of would be a boy born and raised in the province, and no, I've never had a crush on anyone like that.

Do you care about any of your exes at all? No, there's no reason to. We've been apart for a longer time than we were together.

Who last slapped your butt? That hasn't happened in years.

What kind of cake did you have for your last birthday? Didn't have any.

Have you ever had a panic attack? Yes. I had one two nights ago, lmao.

Anyone’s birthday coming up soon? None that I know of. Everyone I know and their moms have birthdays in September but all those seem to be done now.

Are your biceps at all noticeable? No.

When are you moving next? No clue. Ideally before I turn 30.

Have you ever carried a concealed weapon? No and never.

Would you rather go to Greece or France? Greece.

What’s your biggest priority right now? My physical and mental health.

Have you ever rubbed anyone’s feet? I don't think I have.

What would you rather: lethal injection, electric chair, or hanging? How morbid...the injection, I guess.

Have you taken someone’s virginity? Yeah.

Why did you kiss the last person you kissed? I was saying bye. I think.

Who was the first person to ever ask you out? I've never been asked out. I always did that part.

What’s one thing your partner must be able to accept about you? My pets come first.

If you had a daughter, would you allow sleepovers? Yes. I wasn't allowed in sleepovers until high school, so that was always one of the things I wanted to change for my kid when I still wanted to become a parent.

What is something you hope you never have to do again? Have bags and bags of pet food good for 30 people squished in my room. Still the record holder for worst work experience. That, and a breakup.

Have you ever seen a leech in person? I don't think so.

Have you ever joined a mosh pit? Sure.

Does your town’s hospital have a good reputation? I have no idea about its overall reputation, but I had to go there a few times to get my anti-rabies shots and all my experiences were lovely.

Did you ever want a pony for a gift as a kid? No.

Do you know who your mom’s favourite singer is? I know one of them is Lea Salonga but I wouldn't know who her all-time favorite is, if she has one.

Have you ever tried to surf? Nope.

Which one of your family members do you wish you could see more often? My dad.

Do you have dimples when you smile? There's one on my right side.

Have you ever carved anything into a tree? I don't think so.

What was the last physical pain you experienced? Hand cramp.

Do you know anyone who is terminally ill? No.

What was on the last sandwich you had? Scrambled egg.

The last person you spoke to, do you know their eye color? Dark brown.

Is there anyone you know by the name of Frank? I don't know a Frank, no.

Can you remember the title of the song you last sang aloud? Standing Next To You.

Are you currently listening to music through earphones? No, I have a Jin live in the background and the sound is coming from my laptop's speakers, not my earphones.

Have you ever owned a tire swing? No.

Do you know anyone who can fluently speak more than two languages? A lot of Filipinos are trilingual. Most of the people I went to college with are - Filipino, English, and whatever language they speak in their home province. That's why being bilingual here is not actually very impressive, lol.

Have you ever gone in a sauna? I've tried entering a few for like 0.5 seconds every time only to be reminded of how miserable I find those things.

Out of these colors, which appeals most to you: orange, blue, or green? Blue.

Have you ever been someplace tropical? Well, yeah. I live in a tropical country.

You see an ant on the ground, do you squish it? Yes.

[detectiveinchicago]

𝐏𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞, 𝐋𝐢𝐞𝐮𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐚𝐧𝐭 (+18)

Note: This is part of my valentine’s requests. It’s like a comedy fun smut.

Fandom: Chicago Fire

Pairing: Jason Pelham x reader

Requested by: @xmjthewitchx​. Prompt: ❛Your sexiness is distracting me.❜ 

Warnings: SMUT. A LOT OF IT. Language. Reader has a dirty mouth (?)

DISCLAIMER: GIF IS NOT MINE.  English is not my first language.

Word Count: 7,0K. I KNOW, It’s a long one. 

51 was a long ride from your home, but you usually always got earlier so you could shower before your shift, considering you always did a run or went to the gym before that. You were taking Brett’s place for at least two weeks since she was in Portland with her boyfriend. Violet used to be your partner when she was on Ambulance 20, and you used to be her paramedic in charge. You left 20 two months ago because after Violet left, it had become a ‘boys club’. The atmosphere was really awkward and sexist, so you’d rather be in the float pool than have to go back to that station daily.

“Hi there” You turned around to find Violet walking towards you.

“Hey you” You greeted her before she reached your side “How was your date?” you said giving her a wink. Evan Hawkins had been your first partner when you’d been appointed paramedic in charge and you weren’t the least bit surprised that he’d come up the chain of command so quickly.

“Amazing, he is very...skillful,” she said, making you laugh. Yes, they definitely had had sex.

“Uhm, so you had fun?” you asked, raising your brows.

“A lot, we went to dinner and then to his house, I’ve just came from there”

“So you did a walk of shame this morning?” you asked, and Violet rolled her eyes.

“My neighbor looked at me kind of weird when she saw me in my dress and high heels, to be honest,” she admitted.

“And so you’re officially dating?”

“I think so, kind of, I don’t know” They both entered through the door to the station “We don’t have any name or title yet”

“Is that why you’re here so early?” you asked raising your eyebrows “Cause if you had such a good time I don’t understand why you’re here before”

“Well, with Brett in Portland visiting Casey and the boys, I could really use some advice from you,” Violet said as two members of the other shift greeted you.

“Sure, we can talk in the ambulance later.” Since Evan was your direct superior, you didn’t want to have this conversation anywhere in the station where someone could overhear and get Violet in troubles with the chain of command.

“I saw you talking to Pelham yesterday at Molly’s,” Violet commented as they both walked into the hallway.

“When did you have time to go to Molly’s last night?” you asked, frowning at her question

“Before going to the rest,” she said without wanting to give details in public, “Gallo and Ritter wanted to talk about the beer but stop diverting the subject”

“I’m not diverting anything and we were just talking about the building call we had last shift.” You shrugged. Actually, as horny as he was that way, it was the only truth, they had talked a bit about that call, you had let him know that the people they had rescued were still in treatment and it was too early for the doctors to say anything when you left Med.

“Uhm,” Violet said, hinting that she didn’t believe you at all as they both walked into the locker room “So that was the only reason?”

“Okay yeah, I think Pelham is hot as hell if that’s what you want to know,” you said, opening your locker and taking off your coat

“Not my type,” she replied, leaving her bag on the bench.

“Ohh, come on, nothing you didn’t know before and he’s objectively hot,” you commented, rolling your eyes

“Too old, sorry,” Violet said, and you turned to look at her.

“Now you’re making me feel old, stupid Gen Z” you said before hearing a throat clear. You turned around to find Pelham with Gallo and Ritter behind him pretending to be mattering their own business. They were clearly just pretending because those two were the two old riffraff from the station along with Mouch and Herrmann.

“Ladies,” Pelham said with a nod and by the look on his face and Gallo and Ritter’s, they had definitely heard your conversation with Violet.

“Uhm” You couldn’t find the words. That stupidly perfect pretty face of his was fucking messing with your head. “Wait, your sexiness is distracting me, and I can’t think.” You heard Violet stifle a laugh. Why the hell did you say that? It wasn’t like you hadn’t embarrassed yourself enough for your entire life in less than five minutes.

“I’m sorry?” He said, making it sound like a question.

“Oh great, you are being funny now?” You put your things in your locker before taking your clothes and your things to take a shower.

“What?” Couldn’t he just stop talking? Maybe that way you could pretend for a few seconds you hadn’t just embarrassed yourself in front of all of them.

“Okay, I know it may seem normal to you but it’s not normal to look so hot” You were actually trying to excuse your earlier dialogue with Violet but now you thought you weren’t fixing anything but making it worse.

You turned to look at him. He looked speechless.

“And that is (Y/N) being sexually frustrated,” Violet said, trying to cut the tension, but you didn’t appreciate the intervention and glared at her. She knew clearly that you hadn’t had sex since your ex. Traitor.

“I bet she is” Did Ritter have a death wish? Because maybe you could kill them both before the shift started. Gallo had the audacity to chuck at Ritter’s comment.

“Do you three wanna live to see another day?” You threatened them by making Ritter and Gallo back away slowly “I thought so,” you added before slamming your locker and walking out of there.

In the shower, you wondered if it wasn’t too crazy to just call in sick for the day and go home to avoid further humiliation because, once the rest of the house found out, you wouldn’t hear the rest of it. Lucky for you, you were a floater, but unfortunately you still had over a week to go on 51 before Brett came back.

When you were finishing putting your things away in your locker after your shower when the alarm went off “Ambulance 61, Squad 3, person in distress, 5435 Hamilton Road” Well, at least she would not face the whole house just yet. You ran down the hall until you found yourself and Violet was already in the ambulance.

“Come on, come on,” she said as you climbed in on the passenger side.

“I just embarrassed myself in front of the fantastic trio,” you said with a groan as Violet drove out of 51.

“Well, it’s not that bad. I told him old,” Violet replied.

You glared at her and gave her a dirty look “I just looked desperate for sex and he looked totally shocked. Maybe I’ll tell Boden to order another float for the rest of the shifts”

“It’s not that bad,” she comforted you “To be honest, I think she thought it was funny”

“Funny? I think he looked traumatized and my huge mouth just wouldn’t stop talking.” You complained.

“Maybe this is your chance to test the waters,” Violet commented as you turned to look at her.

“Test the waters?” you asked, a little confused

“Yeah, maybe find out how he feels about you. Maybe you’ll surprise yourself.” She shrugged.

“Okay, it’s not like I’m in love with him or something,” You said “I just think he’s hot”

“Maybe he finds you hot too. Who knows? And you can both have a really hot night together.” She moved her brows suggestively.

“Okay definitely you should stop watching so many movies,” you said before you both got to the address of the call.

The owner of a butcher shop was trapped inside an industrial refrigerator. How the hell had that happened? You weren’t too sure, but after more than a decade in CFD you had discovered that sometimes it was better not to find out about these things. Once Squad could get the man out of there, you and Violet covered him up to keep him warm, and you rode in the back of the ambulance to Med.

You took advantage of your walk to Med to ask about the grandmother and the child who had been rescued from the building last shift and whom Pelham had asked you about the other night at Molly’s. The last update had been that the grandmother was going to need multiple surgeries to repair her hip and that the boy needs treatment for the infection that she had developed. Fortunately, things had improved. The boy was responding to antibiotics, and the grandmother was recovering from her last surgery.

When you got back to 51, you were mentally debating whether you should go update Pelham on the grandma and the kid. He’d been interested enough the other night at Molly’s to come over to ask you about them, so you figured since he’d gotten them out of the building, he might want some closure. You approached the office he had occupied. The blue room, which Mouch said, was cursed. Yes, that man believed in ghosts. You knocked on the door before opening it to find Pelham shirtless.

“Oh, God, I’m sorry” You apologized, closing your eyes briefly. Mental note: Maybe next time you should wait for an actual response before entering other people’s offices.

“It’s okay, what’s up?” he asked and you opened your eyes again. He already had the shirt on and had another in his hand. Did you see something that looked like fun dancing in his eyes?. Did he find it funny?

“Just here to tell you I just got back from Med and that the boy and the grandma are going to be fine,” you informed him while trying to get the mental image of him shirtless out of your head. Maybe you could save it for later when you were alone at home.

“Oh, that’s good news.” He nodded, giving you a small smile that caused you to smile back at him.

“Grandma got over her surgeries and might need some physical therapy, but doctors are optimistic,” you added, thinking if maybe Violet was right after all and he wasn’t as shocked as you thought.

“That’s good grandma felt so guilty about the kid.” Pelham shrugged.

“Yes, I know,” you replied before turning around to leave. You wondered what he would say if you... “I’ve always wondered how you would look without your shirt” You said turning to look at him when you were in the doorway “and I’m not disappointed at all, Lieutenant” giving him a top-to-bottom look before running away embarrassing you even more.

Stupid Violet. This was all her fault. If she hadn’t put the idea of ​​testing the waters into your head, you probably wouldn’t even have thought of saying something like that after what happened in the locker room that morning. What if he reports her to Boden for misconduct? It was the last thing she needed. You were already panicking, so you went to the ambulance and make a count of all the supplies they had. When you were halfway through your count when Violet came up behind you.

You jumped in your place “Fuck you scared me”

“A little bird just told me you walked into Pelham’s office when he was shirtless,” she said, sitting across from you in the ambulance.

“Who told you that?” you asked raising your eyebrows “It literally just happened like 10 minutes ago,” you complained

“Kylie told Gallo and Ritter and they told me,” she replied with a shrug, “And you should know that news travels fast in this station”

“I see,” you said with a groan.

“So, you saw him shirtless and…?”

You glared at her “What do you want me to tell you? That I fuck him in his office?”

“Now, we would love to hear that story” You watched as Stella leaned out the side of the ambulance next to Severide.

“I’m gonna stop talking right now,” you responded by shaking your head and returning your attention to the papers.

“We want details,” Violet insisted.

You raised your head “We are in the middle of a shift of course nothing happened and it was an accident,” You rolled your eyes at how gossipy she was “You all need to find something else to gossip about”

“Too late,” she replied with a shrug.

“Just for you to know, he is single,” Stella added, and you turned to look at her.

“How do you even know that?” you asked, and she pointed out to Severide in response. He shrugged.

“Just for the record, I’m in your team,” Violet told you and you opened your eyes wide

“There are teams? Are you telling me the whole house is already talking about this?” In your head you thought that only Gallo, Ritter, Violet and, well, Kylie knew what had happened, since until Stella and Severide showed up, no one else had told you anything about it.

“Are you kidding? Gallo and Ritter wouldn’t stop talking about your slip this morning,” Stella told you and you decided that maybe you just had to keep your promise of that morning and kill them both.

“Capp and Tony were also there” Severide informed you, speaking for the first time in the entire conversation.

“Capp and Tony too?” You moaned “Oh my god, I’m gonna have to move back to Florida” Your parents still lived there so maybe it wasn’t too late.

“You hate Florida,” Violet said, and you glared at her.

“I know I hate Florida!” You answered before you got out of the ambulance and away from them. You heard Stella and Violet laughing behind you.

Your goal for the day was to avoid the common room. There was no way you were going to willingly walk into that death trap where everyone was going to make comments or giving you a look. It was very possible that with your character, you would simply explode against someone. You got some sleep before Mouch’s hunger and snoring made you get up at midnight. It was likely that you would not sleep again since everyone seemed to snore to match in their beds. You headed into the common room and saw that the television was on and Pelham was sitting at the table doing paperwork.

“Hey” you greeted with a yawn as you walked towards the cupboard.

“Hey” He replied, and you noticed how he looked up from the paperwork and followed you with his eyes “What are u doing up?”

“I can’t sleep, Mouch and Capp are competing to see who snores the loudest” You responded by rolling your eyes and making him laugh “And I’m hungry so I’m gonna eat all the sugar in this place” You added taking an apple and taking the peanut butter out of the fridge.

“So, you usually assault the pantry when you can’t sleep?” He asked, raising his eyebrows.

You looked up from the counter and gave him a wink “Only on Tuesdays”

He smiled back at you before he plunged back into the paperwork and you took it upon yourself to slice the apple before walking to the table to sit across from him.

“So, is this your thing? Doing paperwork in the common room when you have your own office,” you asked as you spread a piece of apple with peanut butter.

“I wanted to see a replay of the Blackhawks game,” he explained, pointing at the television behind you before they both fell silent again. You weren’t sure what to say, and he seemed very focused on your papers. When you finished eating, you sucked the peanut butter off your fingers.

“Stop doing that,” he said through clenched teeth, looking at you out of the corner of his eye.

“Doing what?” you asked, raising your eyebrows

“Eating like that” So he found it tempting to watch you eat an apple? In fact, you were sure that he found it tempting to watch you suck the remains of peanut butter from your fingers.

“Like what?” you asked, trying to feign innocence, but now that you had discovered that little secret, you sucked your finger again and saw how his eyes darkened.

He clenched his teeth in frustration and you suddenly found that gesture hilarious “You know what”

“I don’t, lieutenant, please enlighten me” You mocked, giving him an amused smile before the look of frustration on your face.

“You’re making eating an apple something sexual.” He answered with a throat clearing.

“Is that bothering you, Lieutenant?” Using his title as a mockery was definitely your new favorite thing.

“There is a reasonable amount of this that a man can handle, Y/N)” How good your name sounded from his lips. You liked the sound of him saying it and especially in a sentence like that. So you were having an effect on lieutenant Pelham after all. After all, he wasn’t as immune to your charms as he seemed.

“I guess we’ll have to find out how much you can handle,” you replied, staring at him before he grunted. You giggled in response and set the plate in the sink before heading back to the bunks. He was definitely going to think about you for the rest of the night.

You were woken up by the alarm only a couple of hours later. It was 5AM on a Saturday for what you assumed were the drunks who had had too much fun the night before. They better not have gotten you out of bed for nothing. It turns out that it was nothing. Some teenagers had had more alcohol than allowed, and one boy went into an ethyl coma. When you arrived, he was confused, his breathing was incredibly irregular, his skin was bluish and his body temperature was very low. His friends said that he had had two bottles of tequila while they were playing shots. Stupid teenagers. Of course, the guy had to throw up on you before he passed out. You had to endure the trip to Med and then back to 51 drenched in puke. A beautiful way to start your weekend.

“You better take a shower,” Violet told you, holding her nose as she walked past you.

“I was just thinking of going back to sleep on someone else’s vomit, Violet,” you told her sarcastically. As she headed back to her bed to get more sleep, you grabbed your things from your locker and headed to the bathroom. Well, there was someone taking an early shower, apparently. You hummed softly as you showered, the vomit smell gone at least, or so you wanted to think because you could still feel the Tequila stink on you. You turned off the water and wrapped yourself in your towel before getting out of the shower.

“Well, but if that’s a voice” You let out a little yelp of surprise. You turned to look how Pelham came out of the shower next yours.

“What are you doing here?” you asked, placing a hand on your chest to make sure you hadn’t had a surprise heart attack.

“Looking for a secret passage to Narnia, perhaps?” he said jokingly.

“You are being funny” You rolled your eyes

“What are you doing here?” he asked, raising his eyebrows as if he knew you had already taken a shower less than 24 hours ago.

“A teenager threw up on me,” you explained with a smirk

He wrinkled his nose. “Good call from what I see.”

“Yeah, I know,” you answered before realizing that he was only wrapped in a towel from the torso down. You lifted your head, looking up at the sky briefly. God was cruel, and he was tempting you on purpose. You didn’t want to drool, but you couldn’t help it he was really hot. It wasn’t like you hadn’t confirmed it earlier with the glimpse you had in his office, but the way he now had a few drops of water falling from his hair and trickling down his torso and getting lost under the towel was incredibly tempting. You bit your lower lip. Yes, you were more than screwed. He was something else.

“Stop doing that,” he suddenly mumbled in the same way he had said it just a couple of hours ago in the common room.

It was more than clear that you were checking on him, but you faked dementia and played innocent “What?”

He rolled his eyes in response “You are going to be my death”

“Aww, am I making you sweat, lieutenant?” you asked him, licking your lips with all the intention of playing with his head.

“You are playing a dangerous game, (Y/N)” he said, moving a little closer to you and pinning you against the tiled shower wall.

You were already as fucked up as you could be so you were daring “Then punish me” you answered, staring at him. And there he was again, his pupils blackened again just as they had the night before. When he was going to kiss you, that he had leaned over you and he had his mouth dangerously close to your lips. The door was yanked open, causing both of them to jump away from each other.

“Oh!” exclaimed Mouch “I saw nothing,” he said, looking away “I saw nothing, I swear”

“There’s nothing to see here, Mouch.” You informed him, moving a little away from Pelham.

“I’ll have to tell Herrmann that I won the bet,” you heard him mutter to himself.

“What did you say?” asked Pelham at the same time that you exclaimed “What bet?” He and you looked at each other really confused

“About how long it takes for you guys to finish together. I said it would be before the next shift,” he informed you, quite proud of himself. “Everyone is in, even the chief”

“The chief?” you screamed, feeling more embarrassed than ever “Oh my god” you said, covering your face with your hands.

“I’m gonna tell Herrmann that I won the bet,” Mouch said, pointing behind him towards the common room.

“Nothing happened!” you yelled, feeling the need to inform him before he added some crazy version of it to the rumors that were going around the station

“Yeah, sure” Mouch replied, giving you to understand that he didn’t believe a word of what you said

“I’m gonna go,” you murmured, passing by him and heading to your locker.

Once you changed, you bolted out of the locker room to avoid meeting Pelham or Mouch again. After going to the ambulance to clean up the remnants of vomit, you decided you were going to have breakfast first because you didn’t have enough caffeine in your system yet to deal with it.

“Ohhh, to what do we owe the pleasure of you honoring us with your presence?” Herrmann said as he served you a plate of the scrambled eggs that were for breakfast and you took a cup to pour yourself coffee.

“Mouch told me about the bet, Herrmann.” You informed him as the man glared at Mouch and he shrugged.

“It was Stella’s idea” he said pointing to Stella who was next to Severide, eating her breakfast. You raised your brows, looking at her.

“I couldn’t hold myself,” Stella defended herself by putting her palms up in front of her “You better go to bed quickly before you make me lose all my money,” she added while the others tried to hold their laughter.

“Stick this in your head” You told her, sensing her forehead “We. are. not. having. anything”

“Good to know,” answered Pelham, entering the common room and walking past you to go to the coffeemaker.

“This is not the time to play nice,” you told him between clenched teeth.

“She even lectures him like they’re dating.” You heard Gallo whisper to Ritter and Violet. You turned to look at him and just glared.

You pointed at Gallo, Ritter and Violet “Don’t you think I don’t know you have been spearing rumors”

“They are not rumors if they are true,” Ritter defended himself while Gallo nodded.

“You don’t have any sense of self-preservation, do you?” You said to them in a threatening tone that made Ritter and Gallo move back a little in their chairs.

“I have a question, though. Did you two just have sex in the shower?” asked Capp, pointing to your wet hair.

Mouch and Cruz spit out their drinks at the same time that Gallo and Ritter choked, and Stella let out a laugh.

“What is wrong with you?” You asked Capp looking at him.

“That’s why they didn’t want Mouch to tell us,” you heard Gallo murmur and Violet giggled.

“Gallo, if you don’t want to scrub 81 from bottom to top next shift, I would shut” Was he standing up for her? Or he was simply covering his own ass? He made her smile and laugh at Gallo’s pouting face.

“Unbelievable,” Gallo said “This is censorship”

“What is so funny?” asked Chief Boden, entering the common room.

“Pelham and (Y/L/N)” Stella informed him to which you glared at her

“I haven’t seen this house so entertained by something like this since Casey and Brett,” he said and you felt heat rise your cheeks. Excellent, as if you don’t feel embarrassed enough already. Well, at least you were a floater on 51st. Though maybe you should think about never setting foot in Molly’s again.

Lucky for you, after cleaning up the vomit from the ambulance, your shift was almost over. You’ve never wanted to run away from a station so quickly in your entire career. All the flirting with Pelham was driving you crazy, and the teasing from the rest of the station was definitely going to drive you insane. You were seriously considering showing up sick for the next shift just to avoid them all. Of course, you weren’t even considering going to Molly’s that Saturday night when Violet started urging you to drop by the bar so they could talk about ‘her thing’ as she called her relationship with Hawkins. You even offered her to come to your house so you could talk with no one listening, but she said she had to talk to Gallo and Ritter about their beer, so you had no choice but to change and go. With a bit of luck, you’d go unnoticed enough. As soon as you walked in, you approached Violet, who was waiting for you at a table in the back of the bar.

“He asked me about you,” he told you as soon as you took off your coat to leave it on the chair. You knew who she was talking about.

“Did he?” you asked, raising your eyebrows and looking for Pelham with your eyes. You saw him sitting talking with Severide, Mouch, Herrmann, Ritter and Gallo. He had clearly noticed that you entered the bar because he was staring at you. You looked away from him to see your friend again “That’s why you were so insistent, weren’t you?”

“I wonder if you were coming tonight?” Violet gave you a small smile as you sat down across from her.

“You made me take my pajamas off for this?” you asked, raising your brows.

“Of course,” she answered, probably very convinced that she had done it for the right reasons.

You grunted and got up from your chair “I need a drink if we are gonna talk about this” you informed him before heading to the bar and asking Kidd for one of her drinks.

“Hey” He greeted you, giving you a small smile and standing next to you to ask Stella for a beer. She nodded at him and gave you a knowing smile that made you roll your eyes before shuffling to the other side of the bar.

“Lieutenant,” you greeted with a nod. He was so close to you and you could feel his arm brush against yours. The attraction was simply magnetic. You just wanted to stay there, maintain contact with him, no matter how minimal. It was as if he took your breath away just thinking about being able to have him in your bed.

“You definitely have a gift for making my rank sound like a sexual name.”

You let out a laugh and gave him a flirtatious smile over your shoulder “What can I say? I’m a woman of many talents with authority kink” You had not yet started drinking alcohol, and you were already talking as if you were drunk.

“I bet you are”

You could feel the next words on the tip of your tongue, but you saw Stella peek out of the corner of your eye and felt his posture harden. “I think I’ll go before them…” he said, nodding to the other side of the bar where you knew for sure the rest of the station didn’t miss a thing. The next shift was going to be a nightmare.

“Yeah,” you agreed with him. However, you couldn’t help but feel a little disappointed that he had finally taken the initiative and approached you, having no accidental encounters.

You stayed a few seconds recalculating what had just happened before Stella stood in front of you with the drink you had asked for “That was…” she said before you let out a laugh at her lack of words.

“Intense,” Violet finished approaching you.

“I don’t know what you guys talked about, but you two need to go to bed, ASAP,” Stella said, and Violet nodded.

“Tell him.” Your brows embodied turning to look at where Pelham was over your shoulder. You saw he was standing leaning against the bar and he was deep in conversation with Severide and Herrmann. His ass looked good in those jeans.

‘You know his eyes are higher up, don’t you?’ Violet asked, and you rolled your eyes as Stella let out a laugh.

“Shut up”

“The looks they were giving each other,” Stella fanned her hand “Ugh they were raising the temperature in this place, I could just drag Severide to the back right now”

“You know, you could have an extra hot night with him,” Violet laughed.

“Can we stop talking about him and me?” You growled as you tasted the drink that Stella had made for you.

“Is there a you and him?” Violet asked, raising her eyebrows before the conversation turned to talk about her and Hawkins. The rest of the evening comprised just talking to Violet about her date, the job, and a little about how Brett was doing. You really couldn’t wait to get home. You felt like you were already making a complete fool of yourself in front of 51st and anyone at Molly’s who wanted to see it. Since yesterday morning, everything had been disastrous, and you weren’t sure you wanted to stick your nose out for the next shift. Deciding that you had enough for the night, you said goodbye to Violet and grabbed your coat before greeting Herrmann and Stella on your way out.

“Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!” Stella yelled at you, making you turn around.

“That narrows it a lot really, Stella,” you said sarcastically before walking out the door. Your Uber was already waiting for you and in ten minutes, it had already left you at your door. When you were brushing your teeth, you heard someone knock on the door. When you looked through the peephole, you saw it was Pelham. What the hell? What was he doing there? How the hell did he know where you lived? Something inside you stirred in anticipation of the reasons that had brought him to your door. You just wished it hadn’t been when you were in your pajamas about to go to bed.

“I’m not drunk enough for this,” you murmured before opening the door “What are you doing here?” you asked, frowning.

“You’ve been playing games with my head the whole shift and you’re asking me what I’m doing here?” he answered, raising his eyebrows “Can I come in?”

“I wasn’t playing any games.” You informed him, stepping aside for him to go inside.

Pelham let out a laugh, revealing that he didn’t believe a single word of it. “And that teasing was completely innocent, then?”

“And harmless,” you added, giving him an amused smile, closing the door

“I assure you there was nothing harmless about it” He assured you and you saw again how his eyes darkened a little, almost as if he was reviewing the idea of ​​fucking you? “You’ve been driving me crazy”

“I’m sorry?” you said, making the apology sound like a question, making fun of the time he said it to you in the locker room.

“Please, you are anything but sorry” He rolled his eyes and immediately took a step towards you and you took one back.

“I didn’t want you to feel uncomfortable” You feigned innocence. As if you hadn’t messed with his head the other night in the common room. Actually, the rest of the encounters with him had been awkward and unintentional, but you couldn’t deny that you had been flirting with him.

‘I assure you it’s not me who’s uncomfortable," He hinted, approaching again, and you hit your back with the door before he rested his hand there, leaving you trapped between the door and his body.

“Oh,” you said, feeling like a deer under headlights. You didn’t want to look down cause you knew exactly what was feeling uncomfortable, didn’t want to look down at his dick and be tempted. You bit your lower lip because the words wouldn’t come out of your mouth after all you’d done to the poor man. It was just pathetic.

“Don’t. Do. That” He said between clenched teeth leaning closer to you “Your teasing has been driving me out of my fucking mind”

You cleared your throat and swallowed hard, trying to find the words. It was as if the cat had eaten your tongue. You were dizzy between the closeness of him and the fact that he was there “I didn’t know I had you so wrapped around my finger, lieutenant” you finally said, fanning your eyelashes. Good. At least you hadn’t sounded like a little girl and had regained your dignity. Or a bit, at least.

“And that way you say my rank,” he mumbled, brushing his nose against yours “You little brat”

You could feel his breath against your face, just a few more inches, and you could have his lips on yours. You licked your lips, and that seemed to be an invitation for him because he ended up closing the space between your lips. Your mind was feasting as he cupped your cheeks and deepened the kiss. You jumped up and wrapped your legs around his waist. He placed one hand on your ass to support you and rested the other on the door next to your face. You celebrated you were already in your pajamas because that meant that he could just put his hand up under your nightgown and for him to have read your mind because you felt his warm hand go under your shirt. You put your arms around his neck and caressed the back of his neck before he separated from you (barely) to breathe.

“How much have you drunk?” he asked you, resting his forehead against yours.

“I’m not drunk if that’s what you want to know” You rolled your eyes and gave him a small smile

“Good, because I want you to remember every detail,” he said before kissing you again. Holly fucking shit. That night promised a lot. His kiss was slow but steady, as if he had all the time in the world and your panties weren’t already soaked just from kissing you. He toyed with the elastic of your panties and you shivered in anticipation. You wanted it and you wanted it now. Instead of giving you what you wanted, he limited himself to running a finger over your panties, outlining your folds. You could almost cry in frustration because instead of taking off your panties like you wanted, he was playing with you.

You broke away from him to catch your breath and form a coherent sentence to say. Instead of a coherent phrase, you only got a request “Please” you whispered while he rubbed your clitoris over your panties, making you moan in satisfaction “I need you inside of me, now” you added to sound a little more forceful.

“I thought you enjoyed teasing,” he said, and you almost wanted to erase the smile that had formed on his face when he said it.

You replied with a growl before pulling him by his neck towards you to kiss him again. He was like a drug. He was like an addiction to you. You shivered under his fingers as he played with you. You were almost about to beg again when you felt how he was trying to pull down your panties, so you pulled your legs out from his waist and kicked his panties into a mess on the floor. Still kissing him, you reached out to touch the buckle on his jeans to remove them, along with his boxers. You almost shuddered at the thought of having him inside you. You could feel the moisture between your thighs, something you confirmed when he slid a finger through your folds, causing you to moan.

“I love hearing you moan,” he whispered into your ear before sucking on your earlobe, causing you to bite your lower lip to hold back another moan “And I love that cheeky mouth of yours.”

“Please,” you begged him, putting your legs back around his waist.

“What do you want?” He asked you, brushing his lips with your cheek and running over it until his lips were on yours.

“Please, lieutenant,” you whispered, biting your lower lip, and you saw how the desire crossed his eyes. You felt the brush of his hard cock against your hot wet entrance “I’m clean and I take the pills so we’re fine” you added as he nodded.

“I’m clean too” You gave him a small smile before pulling him towards you. It was as if you could never get enough of him. You played with your hair before you felt his cock settle at your entrance. He slid his cock inside you, causing you to throw your head back in satisfaction. His cock slowly opened you up and he stayed still for a few seconds, probably wanting to give you time to adjust to the swelling and dragging of his cock.

You looked at him “Please” you begged him before he moved inside you, drawing a moan of satisfaction from you that made you throw your head back. You grabbed the edge of his shirt and yanked it up to take it off. If you were going to have the experience, you wanted it complete. With the six-pack included. He lifted you a little higher in his arms before lunging again. You let out a yelp of satisfaction “Yeah, right there” you yelled as his cock hit your G-spot and you dug your nails into his shoulders.

He smiled devilishly at you before rubbing your clit with his fingertips. You let out a little cry of surprise and shivered under the touch of his fingers. Your legs almost gave way around his waist and you heard him giggle. Holly shit. If that was going to be the only sex you guys were going to have, it had better be good and one you could treasure for future reference with your dildo. His lips brushed your ear, and he uttered some sweet words that you couldn’t make out in your cloud of pleasure before you felt yourself quiver with orgasm. “Fuck Jason!” you cried with a shriek. You hoped he would like it too, because you would not call him by his last name ever again. His name sounded so good on your lips and especially when you were having an orgasm. Pleasure made you shudder beneath him and your insides contracted around his cock so that mere seconds later, he was following you down the path of orgasm.

It had probably been one of the shortest fucks of your life, but damn, it had been worth it. It had been intense and had taken your breath away.

Leaning your head against the door and trying to catch your breath, you felt his head resting on your shoulder and his chest rising and falling.

“Stay for the night” you asked him, still trying to catch your breath after that orgasm cloud. He looked up at you before nodding, which got a small smile from you. Yeah, amazing orgasms were coming that night.

[drag-queen-jesus]

NEO: TWEWY

yeah I know, im late to the party.  Fake fan, whatever

BUT

I finally started playing NEO and oh my god

(for reference as of this post im on week 2 day 4,  so ya know, all of THAT has happened already

I wish I had thought to like, liveblog it or something, because I am SO invested right now.  I don't think I will, necessarily, I just wanted to put my predictions and thoughts out there so I can see how they stack up once I reach end game.

spoilers, obviously (also unedited)

okay so first, ARE we actually dead???  like I made a joke about it to my friend like “they are such Gen Z, like oh were dead?  Cool AND THEN DIDN’T QUESTION ANYTHING ABOUT THAT” but then it kept going and we still haven't talked about it?  Until we finally met Beat (my boy, I’ll get to you)  and he firmly says he's alive.  That opens a whole host of questions for me

Is he really?

Are we?

is anyone else, if we are?

I’m pretty sure there's some legit dead players, but now that im thinking about it I can't remember now if they actually said they died, or if they've just been playing the game long term (Motoi, and one of the Variabeauties come to mind)

and then what does that mean if they’re taking living players???  is that even allowed???  

which brings me to my second point: WHER IS JOSH???  like im not expecting him to be a main character, but he is/was basically GOD, so is this him???  I don't think it is because we thought he learned a lesson since last time, and living players was never a thing when he was in charge.  So did he get taken out of commission?  is he the mysterious “you” that the hat character is talking about.  (I have a theory, ill get to it)

and Neku.  My son, my boy, my little spicy tuna roll.  How does this man come back into play now of all times.  first of all, what did he do to get back on the reapers radar after three years.  these ‘new’ games have been running for at least a year (we know Motoi has been playing for a year at least) and its been three years since the Big Game that took every one out, so how long have they been looking for him, how long has he been in hiding, and why can't they find him?  they wanted us players to track him down and fight him, which implies that he's still currently connected to the UG in a way that lets us interact with him, but if that's the case, shouldn't they be able to like, trace him or something (that might be a fanfic thing I've made canon in my head, about people having traceable auras or whatever).  because it sounded like Beat’s been looking for him too, and up until recently Beat was in the UG, so where's Neku?

and then Beat, poor guy.  Why is he looking for Neku anyway?  I mean, I guess if my friend is missing, id look too, but how long has Beat been looking for him?  How long has be been missing?  Why did he get dragged back into this mess too???  I’m digging the new fit tho, don't get me wrong, I liked Beat well enough before, but he looks a lot more Sk8ter Boi and less ‘basketball player’ now.  I do hope Rhyme and Shiki are doing okay without their guys tho, I wonder if we’ll hear anything about them at all?

Also what the fuck is Hype-Chan’s deal?  (I KNOW she has a name now, but she's been Hype-chan since 2012, she will be Hype-chan until I die). Like, something is going on with her and I can't wait to find out what.

Another question: I think its pretty obvious that the ruin bringers are getting special treatment.  the question is, why?  Whats the goal of keeping everybody in the UG like this indefinitely?  because that's what it looks like to me.  The whole point of the reapers game, as Kariya put it, is to find the best and brightest Shibuya has to offer, to give the people who can make Shibuya a better place a second chance at life.  Obviously the rules have changed since the last time we played, but what's the point of keeping everyone in Limbo like this?  Obviously Shiba’s having a good time (also, who made him the new conductor???  it couldn't have been Josh, no way) but what's even the point of having a game if you won't let anyone come back to life???

And where did all of these reapers even come from?  Uzuki told us that there are reapers all over the place, but did they wander here themselves, where they appointed by the higher ups?  Who's the producer now, since CAT is apparently on hiatus (I guess Sanae got in trouble after all?)

and then there's that whole vision Rindo had and keeps having about Shibuya like, blowing up or whatever.  Thats a whole thing I don't even have thoughts about yet.

theres a bigger story here im not seeing yet (at least I hope so, ill be disappointed if im wrong). 

Heres what I think.  My predictions, if you will.

I think that something happened to Joshua after the Big Game.  We know that Sanae got in trouble, so it would stand to reason that Josh did too.  I think he disappeared himself (like with Another Day) and left Shibuya a vacuum, with very few strays left to pick up the pieces (Uzuki, Kariya, and that one wall reaper who said he knew Neku from before are the ones I can think of).  I think that, seeing this open playing field, reapers from other districts were either moved in, or they took it themselves (they seem like the sort.  All the new reapers are kinda sleazy and I don't trust them). I think that Neku, for whatever reason, figured this out, or was told, or kept some kind of connection with the UG or with Josh (hello fanfic brain, I see you) - I honestly wouldn't put it past Kariya to know more than he’s telling us so far, and to have something to do with it.  I think Neku dug himself back into the UG somehow to look for Joshua, so that Joshua can fix things again - they said they wanted to make Neku a reaper, but I don't know how they pan on doing that because it never seemed like something you could force on someone, and also Beat was able to quit being one, so how were they planning on making him stay?  I think that the reapers are gonna try and pull something similar to what Kitaniji did with his red pins, but this time I think the goal is to... merge the RG and the UG - it would make sense what with the living player angle, I just don't know what the end goal is.

I ALSo think that Shokie is gonna be a party member at some point, just based on the box art.  Do I want her too?  not really, but I think she will be.

I didn't even get into WHATEVER Minamimoto has going on, I couldn't make heads or tails of it, other than I think he’s also looking for Joshua (I don't personally think he has any reason to look for Neku specifically, outside of to get to Josh). We’ll see, I don't think we’ve seen the last of Pi Face

I have a Lot more thoughts, but im kind of just rambling at this point.

We’ll see how it shapes up, and where I was wrong

[jadedxrealityw]

-Found You- Dean Thomas x Reader

☼-♥-☼

Kody: (SHORT STORY) using gender neutral pronouns for the first time with my first ever Dean Thomas reader, tell me what you think. Also made sure to include androgynous type clothes.

Movie/Show: Harry Potter

House/Year: Gryffindor, 7th year

Summary: after being abandoned by your friends in your first year of Hogwarts, you meet a weird lot of boys who fill the void the others had left, some more then others and when you almost kiss one of them, it becomes more then awkward.

Pronouns Used: They/Them

Possible Triggers/Warnings: suggestive flirting, gen z humor, cursing, the fluff, no voldy au, slight golden trio slander with redemption, reader staring off into space. 

☼-♥-☼

first year

the day you were placed in house Gryffindor you had become close to a few choice people, Hermione Granger, Ron Weasley, and Harry Potter. Your four were as close as close could be in the beginning of your first year, playing pranks, studying in the common room. All of the things friends would do.

towards the end of the year you had caught them hanging out without you on mutiple occasions when they said they were all busy on other occasions. It didn’t bother you at first, thinking a was a one off- multiple one offs. Then it got a bit worse. 

study groups turned into you waiting for hours for them to show up, only for you to fall asleep on top of your textbooks waiting. Getting breakfast together now was just you sitting at the end of the Gryffindor table only for George Weasley to tell you they had already ate and left.

you weren’t stupid, you knew when you were being avoided. You also were never one for confrontation, so you made the executive decision to stop making an effort to hang out with any of them, just to see if they would and maybe everything you were thinking was just from your paranoia.

alas it was the end of the school year and you couldn’t do much hanging out with anyone since your mother was strict, only allowing friends to come over to your place, not the other way around. It was embarrassing at times, but you understood all her rules came from a place of love and experience.  

not that they had ever come over before, even for the winter holiday. Though you understood that as all of you went home to your families. (Yes, James and Lily are alive), but since you all had two months out of school, you figured there would be enough time to at least meet up once.

you had each of there mailing address’s and they had yours. It was the first ‘gift’ you had given to each other and at the time, you were excited to have them. Now when you looked at the the ripped piece of parchment, it’s mere existence mocked you.

as you predicted, nothing came. No letter from your so called ‘friends’ nothing at all. It was disheartening to say the least, but at the same time you saw it coming. The rest of those two months you spent with your mother, which was actually pretty nice. 

☼-♥-☼

second year

as you stepped off the train, the cold air of Hogsmeade Station hit your face, causing the hairs on your neck to stand up. You looked around, watching students as they walked with there friends or hugged them tightly. You’ll admit, it made your expression turn dark.

so you stood, just watching. As people passed, they gave you strange stares and made snide comments about how weird you looked, staring off into nothing. Most students had dispersed when your shoulder gets knocked, bringing you back into the moment. 

“Oh sorry!” you recognized the voice. Once your head turned your met with the familiar face of Neville Longbottom. “Oh Neville! Sorry was i in your way?” you quickly apologize, a sheepish smile on your face. Neville copies your smile, shaking his head “No, Seamus just shoved me too hard”

“Did not, your just weak“ Seamus argued, crossing his arms in a huff. You weren’t too familiar with Seamus Finnigan or the taller boy next to him, Dean Thomas. “Both of you, shut it“ Dean shook his head, a playful smile on his face as he pushed past the two boys to stand in front of you.

“You alright? You looked as if someone used body bind curse on you“ he jokes, a light laugh escaping his mouth. Oh jeez, how long have you stood there “Um- i was waiting for my friends, but i think they left me behind“ you confess, feeling more stupid then you already had been feeling. 

Dean didn’t skip a beat as he shrugs his shoulders “Forget them, walk with us” he offers. You were a bit taken aback as you didn’t know this fellow Gryffindor well and he already seemed so friendly towards you. “Are you sure? I don’t want to be a bother?”

a laugh came from both Seamus and Dean while Neville chuckled nervously “Impossible, the only bother here is him. Now let’s go before we miss the boats” Dean points to Seamus, who’s expression drops “Your rude” he scoffs.

Dean smiles at him before using his hand to gesture to you to follow him as he led the small group through Hogsmeade. 

the entire walk was Dean and Seamus trying to tell embarrassing stories about each other to make the other seem better. Neville would tell you all about what he wanted to learn in Herbology this year.

after awhile they eventually asked you questions about yourself, like- your name and who had ditched you. They were surprised to find out that the golden trio had ditched you. Seamus on the other hand wasn’t, saying how “No one is really golden” 

☼-♥-☼

seventh year

fast forward to your final year at Hogwarts and you were still best friends with Neville Longbottom, Seamus Finnigan, and Dean Thomas. You all were no golden trio by any means, more like ‘Menaces To Society’ as Mcgonagall called you. 

 you weren’t a well behaved student to say the least. 

speaking of well behaved “Shut up, shut the hell up!” Seamus whisper shouts as points his wand at Neville who is looking into the dark “But this is such a bad idea!” he whines, rubbing his arm to create some warmth as the night was cold. 

“It’ll be fine, only if Dean hurries the hell up“ you say, placing a hand on Neville’s shoulder. He looks at you and nods once, shivering slightly. Smiling, you open the greenhouse door and peak your head inside “Dean, i’m getting frostbite out here!“ 

you watch as Dean’s head pops up from behind the large table, holding a potted mandrake “Oh i’m so sorry, but your not the one doing all the hard work!” he argues. You roll your eyes “You lost rock, paper, scissors. Maybe stop choosing paper dipshit”

Dean opens his mouth to say something back when you here Seamus groan loudly “Both of you can flirt later, hurry up! Filch will be back around in a few minutes” he snaps at both of you. Holding up a finger to Dean, signalling you could finish your argument in a second, you peak your head back out. 

“In what universe was that flirting, Finnigan?“ 

“You were flirting with your eyes“

“....right, anyway-“ you slowly turn your head back into the greenhouse as Dean walks out, holding two pots of mandrakes, young ones to be exact. “Alright let’s go“ he says. You jump up in your place and clap your hands together “Oh this is going to be beautiful“

“I just hope we don’t get in trouble like last time“ Neville shudders, following behind you all as you made your way through the grass. “Will be fine“ you wave your hand, standing beside Dean as he held the potted mandrakes. “Shit, these are heavy“ 

“divide and conquer“ Seamus suddenly says as he takes both of the mandrakes from Dean, tucking one under his arm and handing the other to Neville, who happily held it tightly between both of his hands. Dean smiles and stretches his arms, until he hears a pop noise in both. 

as you walked, a gust of wind hit all of you, making you shiver. Your dumbass shouldn’t have worn your pajamas out, which was only a black t-shirt with thin dark grey plaid pants. You had shoes on of course, you weren’t that stupid. “Told you to bring a jumper” Dean says in a sing song voice.

you turn your head to your side, scoffing “I’m not cold, i’m perfectly fine” you look him in the eye while he gives you a ‘really?’ look, which meant he knew you were lying. You hated that cute, dumb, knowing face. Without another word, you look forward once more. 

Dean moves closer to your side and wraps his arms around your shoulder, pulling you flush against him as you both walked quietly. You suddenly felt very warm, but most of that warmth came from your own face. “Better?” he whispers, his hand rubbing your arm. 

honestly, how did this tall freak not expect anyone to fall for him? For two years you have had a crush on Dean Thomas, but it seemed to always be platonic on his side. He was nice to everyone though, so it was hard to tell if there was any romantic intent behind his actions. 

“Much better“ 

“Hey! Who’s out they’re?! No students out pass curfew! You are in big trouble!“ looking ahead you see the familiar shape of Filch in the distance. The bright lantern covering his face, so you were sure he couldn’t see you all as well. “Scatter!“ you yell and in an instant you all pull away from each other. 

this isn’t the first time running into Filch, so you already knew what to do. All of you would run off separately until you couldn’t be seen and just apparate back into the common room. You had been doing it for years and were honest to Godric disappointed he hadn’t figured it out yet.

“Hey you get back here!“

as you pull away, you feel Dean’s hand travel down your arm until his fingers slide off yours. You would have loved to have bathed in that moment longer, but the fear of expulsion was too heavy on your mind at the moment. You spotted a pillar and ran for it. 

once safely behind said pillar, you pull your wand out that you had safely in your.....i don’t know and apparate away. 

☼-♥-☼

you stumble a bit as your transported into the Gryffindor common room, the calming sound of fire cracking on the wood in the fireplace. You were safe. Looking around the dark room, you don’t see Neville or Seamus, but you do see the back of Dean’s head as he’s sat on the sofa in front of the fire. 

your eyes narrow as you walk over to the sofa, placing your hands on his shoulders “Hey Y/n” he says, not even taking a glance as you as he chuckles to himself. “How did you know?- Nevermind, where’s Nev and Seamus?” you ask him.

“There setting up the mandrakes, remember?” he explains before reaching up to grab your hands with both of his, pulling them down so your forced into resting your chin against the top of the sofa. He released only one of your hands and brought the other to his mouth, placing a kiss on your palm.

what the fuck?- 

 “Also I've had your hands on me before, not hard to forget“ he explains. The way he said that made it sound so suggestive if anyone else had been in the room. You were also stunned by the fact he just kissed your hand. This was one of the moments you couldn’t tell if he was being friendly or not.

you could feel his eyes on you, practically burning holes into the side of your face, but you just didn’t have it in you to look at him. Heart racing and your stomach feeling lighter by the second, you felt utterly and completely swooned by the tall Gryffindor boy once again.

“Can you look at me?” you hear him ask, feeling his free hand gently force your face in his direction so your E/c eyes meet with his. “What?“ you ask, trying to mask the fact that you were putty in hands at the moment. Dean didn’t respond, only smile widely as his eyes flicker from your eyes to lips.

he couldn’t be asking to, ya know..right? Before you could question it further Dean began to lean in and you found yourself doing the same “We did it!- whoa, what’s going on here?” you almost snapped your spine at how hard you threw yourself back, moving a good five feet away.

“Nothing!“ you and Dean shout at the same time. Dean folded his arms over his chest, coughing awkwardly into his hand. You watch as Neville steps out from behind Seamus, who’s grin is wider then ever before. “As much as i want to indulge in whatever this is, we have to get to our dorms- like right now“

“What, why?“ you ask, giving him a questioning look. “Neville dropped his Gryffindor tie back at the greenhouse so Mcgonagall and Dumbledore are coming to inspect in the house to see if anyone’s awake“ Seamus sighs, walking forward. 

“Good thing it didn’t have my name on it or anything“ Neville smiles sadly before following Seamus to the hall where the dorms were at. “It’s alright Nev“ you send him a warm smile, trying to reassure him. You decided to follow them as well to the dorms “Y/n!“ you hear Dean call out.

thinking fast and stupid, you stretch your arms, letting out a fake yawn “Damn, i’m super tired. I’ll see you guys in the morning!” you push past both Seamus and Neville and speed walk down the hall. You made a beeline down to your dorm and almost ripped your dorm off of it’s hinges trying to open it

but once you do, you take a large step and shut the door behind you

what the fuck just happened?

that night you had laid in bed for almost an hour, thinking about your almost kiss with Dean Thomas. You felt shame, like you had someone forced this situation upon yourself. You liked Dean Thomas yes, but did you imagine that he was going in for a kiss?

eventually when your brain started to hurt too much, you fell asleep without any interruptions that night.

☼-♥-☼

you awoke to the sounds of awful birds chirping outside and roll onto your side, unfortunately though you were already on the edge of your bed and rolled right of the thing, collided with the hard wood floor that made up the ground of your dorm. You knew you should have gotten a damn carpet at that muggle store.

using your elbows, you prop yourself up and push yourself into the sitting position. What a glorious way to start the day you thought before standing on your two feet. Its saturday, which means you didn’t have to get too dressed up just to eat breakfast.

you yawn, not bothering to cover your mouth as you trudge slowly to your closet, swinging the door open. Taking into account that the weather had bit cold recently you pick out a multicolored jumper consisting of brown, beige’s, purple’s, dark blue’s, and whatnot. with a pair of brown overalls.

removing your clothes, you place them in a woven hamper next to the closet, you had taken a shower the previous night before going to bed, but you just ended up sneaking out. Eh- still counts. Once the clothes are on, you walk over to your dresser where your mirror was on the wall and looked in.

you looked tired and like someone who wanted to go back to bed, perfect. Reaching your hand up, you run your hand through your hair, untangling a few knots with your fingers before shaking your head, your hair now looking like in had been through a gust of wind.

also perfect

after that, you go over to the door slipping your shoes on with your feet before turning the knob and opening it. As soon as that wooden door unhinged you remember all the events from last night and internally cringed. God, today was going to be awkward as hell. 

stepping out, you shut the door behind you, not bothering to lock it as you never had a reason to before. Gryffindor house was pretty chill with privacy and whatnot, so you weren’t worried about people coming in and taking your things. 

☼-♥-☼

walking down the stairs to the dungeons, you had a gleeful smile on your face. See, the whole reason you stole mandrakes is because you currently were in a prank war with the Slytherin house, or to be more specific Draco Malfoy, Theodore Nott, Blaise Zabini, and Pansy Parkinson. 

Draco said he could pull better pranks, you said otherwise and that’s pretty much how it started. It had been going on for a few weeks and the mandrakes were your big finale since you knew that ferret couldn’t do anything better. “Oh shit, Theo!” you heard as you took the final step.

you could hear screeching for a few moments before its quickly shut up. Speeding up, you turn the corner to see a group of Slytherins surrounding four passed out students, one of those students being Theodore Nott. “How did mandrakes get all the way down here?” Pansy crossed her arms.

“I don’t-“ Draco spoke, his head turning to spot you with a shit eating grin on “Nevermind“ he exhales before standing up straight and walking over to you “L/n“ he greets, a deadpan expression on his face while you look like you’ve won the lottery. 

“Malfoy, i see you got my gift“

“Oh yeah, my friend Theo was just blown away“ he said, rolling his eyes which only makes you feel more victorious. “Yeah, sorry ‘bout that. It was meant for you” you smile innocently at him. He lets out a bitter chuckle before extending his hand out to you “You win L/n”

you gladly take his hand into yours and shake it “pleasure doing business with you, Malfoy” you say. Draco crack a smile, shaking your hand for a second before then letting go “Surprised to see Thomas isn’t following you, he usually is” he points out.

and there goes a reminder. Your expression visibly dropped “That’s- well, complicated at the moment” your reply spiked Draco’s interest as he leans against the wall “Do tell“ he gestures with his hand to continue. You eye him up and down, your nose cringing.

“Since when did you care about my life?“ you asked, the question sounding a bit harsher then you intended it too. Draco only shrugs “I’m bored, humor me L/n“ you chuckle at his words and shrugged as well. No harm in telling him anything. 

☼-♥-☼

“Wow“ Draco breathed, his grey eyes slightly widened as you finished retelling the embarrassing events of last night “And you just ran off? Don’t think that was a good idea” he adds, turning his head to face you as you both leaned on the wall.

you exhale, a solemn look on your face “I know, i’m just not good with confrontation. I curl up into a ball and clam up, like i can’t speak” you explain. Draco nods along, listening to what you had to say “He’s your best friend, been your best friend for years. Talk to him, avoiding it will make it worst”

“Wow, that actually was helpful. You’ve surprised me Malfoy”  you give hi a mock astonished look, making him roll his eyes. “Yeah whatever, now go away. I have to help them carry Theo back into the common room“ he pushed off the wall, standing straight.

“Tell Theo i’m sorry when he wakes up“ you turn on your heels and begin to walk down the stone hall, taking in a deep breath. Everything was going to be fine, no worries. Nothing at all.

☼-♥-☼

your first thought was to check the courtyard, it’s where you, Blaise, Neville, and Seamus hung out between classes. It was a good place to start. Stepping outside, you feel the gentle cold breeze nip your face causing a light shiver to run up your spine.

wrapping your arms around yourself you walk along the grass until you spot the familiar tree you all sat under. It instantly brought you back to the first time you had sat under it.

--

second year

“Found you“

your head snaps to your left where the voice came from. Dean, out of breath and wiping sweat from his forehead. You looked confused as he took a step towards you “You were looking for me?” you asked, head tilting ever so slightly to the side. 

Dean looks at you like you had just asked a silly question, chuckling “Of course, you seemed upset a lunch as well so i wanted to check up on you” he said, taking a seat next to you in the grass. You avoided looking at him by pulling out blades of grass and ripping them apart.

after an awkward amount of time of silence, mostly on your part, Dean reach for the grass next to your hands and began to pull it out of the earth as well “What’re you doing?” you ask, still looking at the ground. “If you don’t want to talk, that’s fine. We can just sit here if that makes you feel better too”

weirdly enough, it did. Just having him sit there made your bad day feel slightly better. You couldn’t explain it, but his presence alone was comforting and made you feel more at ease. “If that’s what you want of course” he adds, his pinky extending out to tap your hand, just light enough not to make you tense.

you couldn’t bring yourself to respond verbally and nodded a few times. You hear Dean hum as he continues to copy what your doing. You both sat in silence and stayed there for an hour or so, just soaking up each others company. 

that was the moment you knew Dean Thomas was a true friend

--

“Y/n!“ you hear a shout, bringing you out of your wholesome memory and back to reality. Seamus and Neville were running up to you with confused looks on there faces “What?“ you say, meeting them halfway. As soon as you were grabbing distance, Seamus places his hands on your shoulders and shakes you

“What are you doing here!?“ he shouts while you feel as if your brain is about to knock off of its stem and kill you “What’re you talking about? and stop shaking me!“ you yank his hands off of you. Seamus rolls his eyes and takes a deep breath like he’s about to talk a lot, and talk a lot he did. 

“So after your almost kiss with Dean he told us by the way, he wanted to talk to you so we told him you’d most likely be in the dungeons giving Malfoy a tongue lashing“ Seamus explained before gasping for air. Neville puts a hand on his mate’s shoulder “He kind of thinks you don’t like him. Never seen him so upset before“

processing on the information you were just given, you thank the both of them and run back into the building. This school was huge, no wonder you didn’t run into Dean on the way back or even see him once. Nonetheless, you were determined to find him.

(Filled with determination- get it? Undertale reference)

☼-♥-☼

it took you a good ten to fifteen minutes to get back to the dungeons. You walked fast paced against the cobble ground until you reached the Slytherin portrait. There stood the familiar faces of Draco Malfoy and Pansy Parkinson. They noticed you instantly giving you a confused look.

“Your boyfriend is looking for you“ Pansy snickered, clearly amused by something. You let of a sigh, a hand running through your hair “Yeah i know, do you know where he went?“ you asked, already tired of walking around this shit school. 

just kidding, Dumbledore if you could here there thoughts, they’re kidding 

“We told him you were going to potions“ Draco said which floored you because why in Godric’s name would he say that. The Slytherin boy seemed to catch your confusion and gave you a ‘are you dumb?’ look. “Yesterday, in class, you offered to help Snape organize the stockroom?”

oh shit

you let out what can only be described as a sound of frustration as you realized you were going to be murdered by Snape before you could ever find Dean. You wished that you could apparate, but it was against school rules to apparate inside the school, aka as soon as you would do it, it would teleport you to Dumbledore’s office instead. 

funny enough you could apparate from outside to inside the school with zero repercussions. The rule was ancient and so was Dumbledore, you had a feeling it wouldn’t change in your life time. “Right, thanks. I have to go” you say and give them a lazy wave. 

“Go get your man Y/n! Then tell me all about it!“ you heard Pansy shout as you walk away. 

☼-♥-☼

twelve minutes to get to potions. As soon as you pushed open the door you let the string of apologies fly “I’m so sorry Professor Snape, i completely forgot about helping out- Today has been super stressful and-” you were cut off by Snape himself. 

“Silence, your....friend already told me all about your little issue as much as i didn’t want to hear it. Your free to deal with your teenage drama as long as it’s away from my classroom” he lifts his hand up, gesturing for you to go away like he requested. 

he was surprisingly understanding, which was weird

“Oh um- Thank you, professor. May i ask where Dean said he was off to?“ You asked, fully knowing you might be pushing your luck and his sudden kindness. Snape sighs, dramatically you’d like to add “He didn’t say or he did and i didn’t care enough to listen“

“Right uh, thank you anyway. Goodbye Professor“ you laugh nervously. That quick kindness had run out. Snape only grumbles and you take that moment to walk out the classroom, feeling that little bubble of stress you usually got from talking to Snape fade away.

taking a few steps back you look at the potions door, god you’ve hated that class since first year. Potions were never your strong suit, you were more into astronomy or herbology. Snape never made it any better with his attitude,but he had always been like that.

fifth year was probably the worse

--

fifth year

it was the beginning of your fifth year and one of your earlier classes was potions. What a dreadful way to start the morning. Today you were instructed to brew a draught of peace, which was currently bringing you anything but peace at the moment.

you just couldn’t understand the instructions. Like at all. It was supposed to be a turquoise blue color when finished, but kept turning a dark purple instead. You only had about half an hour to get it right or you were going to fail your first potions lesson for the year.

at one point you got so frustrated, you slammed the ladle on the table but it was already pretty noisy, so no one really turned there head at the noise. “Someone’s cranky” you heard a snicker beside you, which you knew well enough to know it belonged to Dean Thomas.

“Try frustrated, i have to be the dumbest wizard in the entire wizarding world to not get this“ you sigh, crossing your arms as you stare at the dark purple liquid, the mere sight of it mocked your livelihood. Dean shook his head, stifling some laughter as he grabbed the handles of your cauldron.

“You continue to pout while i go dump this”

pout? you weren’t pouting. You rolled your eyes as he comes back, placing the cauldron back down onto your work space “Alright so you added all the ingredients right, but your stirring it to much and the wrong way“ he spoke as he added all the ingredients back in.

once he tilts the mortar and pestle, pouring the crushed unicorn hair into the liquid he smiles warmly “Alright now grab the ladle” he instructs and you, begrudgingly do so. Dean nods and moves to step behind you. As you go to turn around Dean places his hands on your arms, keeping them in place.

you tense almost instantly as his hands travel down your clothed arms until they rest on your own hands. He’s literally pressed against you, not rough or anything like that though. His head moved off to the side a bit “You stir like this” he begins to move your hand with his in the correct motion.

 you honestly didn’t know how to feel.

as he slowly stirred the magical liquid he says something else to you “It’s okay to get frustrated, it’s also okay to ask for help. I’m here if you need me Y/n” he spoke and let go for hand, which suddenly felt a whole lot colder then it did a second ago.

Dean returns back to your side and smiles proudly once he looks into the cauldron “See, easy” he says. You pull out the ladle and look in to see that beautiful turquoise color you had waited to see the entire class period. Thank Godric, actually thank Dean. Speaking of that.

“Thanks Dean, i was about ready to pull out my hair“ you joke, placing your hands on the table. Dean chuckles and places on of his hands on top of yours. You tensed again, feeling light and warm as the pad of his thumb rubs the skin of your hand. “Like i said, i’m here for you, in any and every way possible“

his words made you feel even lighter if that was possible as you tried to contain a bright smile

that was the moment you knew you liked Dean Thomas

--

you sigh, pulling yourself out of your happy memory. How were you going to find Dean?

☼-♥-☼

late evening 

after leaving Snape’s class you, funny enough, kept running into Seamus and Neville who kept pointing you into different directions or places. You were quite literally running around the school like a lunatic. Your current location was the library and library you went. 

since you were absolutely terrified of Madam Pince, you made sure you cautiously open the door as you walk in as well as closing it. Looking around, you don’t see any familiar faces which had you already feeling doubtful, but you still had to look behind the tall bookshelves. 

you decided to take the left side first and begin to walk through the middle isle with haste as you look around. No, nope, nothing, and disappointed. Jumping off the astronomy tower looked appealing at the moment. Alright, other side. You walked with the same fast pace, checking behind each shelf. 

after about four rows, you come face to face with a freckled boy, causing you to jump back “Godric” you put your hand over your heart like an old man about to have a heart attack. “Ron, your ugly face is scaring students” you heard a male voice say.

wait, did he just say Ron?

you take a few steps back, yeah that was them. You first friends at Hogwarts. You saw them almost every week, but haven’t talked to them since your first year at Hogwarts. This was gonna be awkward, you could already tell. “Sorry ‘bout him, I’m Harry and these are my friends Hermione and Ron”

Ron steps back to stand next to Hermione. They all looked at you like your a new person they have never met before. You honestly didn’t know how to react. On one hand, it was kind of funny they didn’t recognize you. On the other hand, it felt kinda shitty.

you force out a bitter laugh, shaking your head “I- I’m floored that you don’t remember me and as funny as it is, i’m looking for someone” you say, about to excuse yourself from this mind numbing situation. “Wait! We know you?” Hermione cuts in, raising her hand a bit.

exhaling, you nod “It’s me. Y/n, Y/n L/n” you introduce yourself, like all those years ago. Watching there eyes widen one by one almost made you laugh “Oh my, Y/n. It’s been so long” Hermione smiles nervously. As evil as it was, you were kind of enjoying the awkwardness.

“Yeah it has, lovely to see you lot. Lets get together next decade where you can forget me all over again“ you had to admit, it was kind of mean but you were busy at the moment. “Wait Y/n, can we talk?“ Harry steps towards you, a look of shame on his face. Good.

did you really want to hear some shitty apology? You didn’t want them or blame them either. You were eleven year olds and children loose friends all the time. There wasn’t any deeper meaning, at least to you there wasn’t, but some part of you wanted to know why? Why were you abandoned?

“I have a lot going on right now, so make it quick Potter“

Harry smiles as he gestures for you to sit down at the table they were currently residing in. You follow him and take the seat across from the other three. Hermione, Ron, and Harry all sit down, looking as nervous and anxious as ever while you were tapping your foot against the ground, impatiently.

“We wanted to say we were sorry, for how we treated you in first year“ Harry starts, the other two nodding along. “Can i get a reason? If you didn’t want to be my friend you could of just told me. Instead you left me alone“ you fold your arms over your chest, already wanting this to be over with. 

“You changed“ Hermione said. You expression shifted to confusion, scoffing “I changed? How?“ you asked. Godric it was a bad idea to listen to these guys. “You started hanging out with Malfoy, he turned you into some kind of menace. All you two did was pull tricks on each other back and forth“

okay so maybe this wasn’t the first prank war you’ve had with Malfoy

and it wont be the last either

“Seriously, you dropped me because i hung out with Draco? Yeah he’s a bit of an asshole, but he’s just all bark no bite“ you shrug your shoulders, maybe you were bias since you guys had been ‘friends’ for awhile now if you could call each other that.

“He’s a Slytherin“ Ron chimes in, looking as if he’s disgusted to say the word. “Ron” Harry warned, whacking his friends arm. Oh you were so not doing this house variably bullshit. Okay, maybe you had a ‘house prank war’ but that was all in good fun.

“I’m done here, i think i dodged a bullet with avoiding you guys all these years“ pushing off of your chair, you stand up ready to leave. Harry stands up the second you do “Sorry about them and they both can have there own opinions, but i know what we did was wrong and i just wanted to say i’m sorry“

looking at Harry, you could tell he was being genuine. Well at least one of them was. “Thanks Potter, now i have to go find someone” you try to make your escape again when you hear footsteps behind you. Stopping you see Harry at your side “Yes?”

“Who’re you looking for, maybe I've seen them?“ He offers. You assumed he was trying to be helpful as an apology. “Dean Thomas, know him?“ you ask, watching as his eyebrows furrow “Yeah but haven’t seen him- wait, it’s curfew in twenty minutes“

“Yeah, so?“

“He’s a Gryffindor, which means he’s heading back to the common room right this moment“ Harry points out, a light smile on his face. Your eyes widen and you throw your arms around the boy. You feel Harry tense, but still wrap his arms around you “Your a genius Potter“

“It’s common sense?“ he looks confused as you pull away from him. You tell him goodbye and that you two could catch up on a later date. 

☼-♥-☼

you push through students on the staircase who were trying to the Gryffindor common room as well. Once you make it to the top, a student in front of you whispers the password “Dilligrout” the portrait opened and a wave of students filed in. 

someone shoulder checked you when you made it in yourself, but you were to preoccupied with finding your friend? Crush? Person you had a crush on...yeah that works. All the students who came in had immediately filed down the hall to go to the dorms. 

silence took over and once again you were in a empty room, your shoulder dropping a bit “Found you” that familiar voice breathed out. You spin on your feet to see Dean Thomas leaning against the wall, huffing as he reached to wiped sweat that had gathered on his forehead. 

“You were looking for me?” you quipped back, obviously joking. Dean seems to catch on rather quickly and flashes a grin “Of course, you seemed upset after last night” he tells you, your expression dropping at the mention of the night before. He notices.

stepping forward, he takes your hand in his, gently leading you to the sofa. That cursed sofa. Once you both take a seat Dean clears his throat, his hand still intertwined with yours “How’re you feeling?” he asked, a worry glint in his eyes. Of course that’s the first question he asked. 

“Nervous, anxious, something like that, but also scared“ you admit, while your free hand scratches the side of your neck. “What would you have to scared off?“ Dean had a sympathetic smile on his face, one that you had seen many times before.

you chuckle, thinking that what you were going to say had been the most obvious thing in the world. “That your going to stop being my friend because we almost kissed?” you said, but it sounded more like a question instead of a statement. 

a, what you would call dramatic sigh escapes Dean’s mouth “I’m the one who initiated the kiss Y/n. I wanted it because i hoped you wanted the same thing, you do, right?” his voice wavers a bit, his confidence dropping with every word. 

“Yes, i have for a long time” you confess. Dean’s smile was a mile long as he lifts your hand to his mouth, pressing a kiss to your knuckles “I wish we told each other this last night instead on running around to find each other all day” you both laugh at the situation.

“Yeah, now that i think about it. I could of sent you a howler” you say, exhaling loudly. How come you didn’t think of that sooner “Yeah, i guess we both didn’t think much” Dean then scoots closer to you on the sofa, his hand still holding your gently. 

not having the courage to speak, you simply sit there as Dean lets go of your hand and cups your face instead. Your breath hitched as you feel his thumbs moving up and down each temple on the side of your head. He still had that dopey smile on his face too.

after what feels like forever, Dean closes the gap between you both, kissing you softly. His head tilts to the left as he continues to kiss you. You swore you could feel everything in you become as light as a feather. Kissing Dean Thomas was something else.

a couple more seconds pass by before he pulls away, a smug grin gracing his face “can we take this to my dorm? We’ve gathered an audience” his eyes glanced to the right of you. Turning your head in his hands, you see Neville and Seamus

“Do you all mind?“

“No, keep going“ Seamus waved with his hand, smiling at you both. Dean rolls his eyes as he stands up from the couch, grabbing your hand to drag you along with him. “We’re so happy it worked out“ Neville had a gleeful look on his face as Dean dragged you past them.

“Try to keep things quiet in there lovebirds!“ Seamus calls out as you and Dean walk down the hall. You scoff, shaking your head. Seamus was something else. Once you both reach Dean’s door, he opens it, allowing you to step inside “No promises!“ he yells before stepping inside himself and shutting it.

covering your mouth, you laugh into the back of your hand until what he said registers in your mind “Wait what?”

☼-♥-☼

Kody- It’s been a hot minute ngl. Um- i’m trying to find a regular schedule update every month, but honestly something called sleep and depression has been kicking my ass. Hope you enjoy this fic..requests are open. Anyways, peace. 

☼-♥-☼

Join My Taglist Here!

@high-ashell-hargrove @dracosathenaeum @queeriacs @andineverwould

[marlmckitten]

People need to stop coming after Harry Potter fans just cause it’s trendy to hate Harry Potter because of what jkr has done 20 years later. That doesn’t erase that it is a series that raised an entire generation. Trying to make people feel bad for liking a series when they had no idea about issues that might arise a decade later is ridiculous. Not to mention tons of media creators are awful. That’s the sad truth but right now the one we hear about is jkr. I see so many posts about how awful her writing is and how no one who likes fiction should like her books. Like or or not her books were phenomenal. Her story had the incredible ability to have a single line foreshadow what would happen six books later and no one pick up on it. There are still gems fans find in it. Plus there are the other factors of how many people find happiness over the years in potter puppet pals or avpm or anything else it influenced. And it influenced so much because it was the biggest series to hit literally ever. It is the top selling series of all time. Nothing has impacted an entire generation like Harry Potter has. And no one hates jkr more than Harry Potter fans because it has made us had to hide something that is so important to us because simply liking it makes us racist and transphobic and sexist apparently.

I even saw posts about how hermione has no real contribution and how jk can’t write a female character. Are you kidding me??? Hermione literally saved my life. She was the only strong female heroine a lot of us saw. So many people are forgetting that when these books came out resources were so much more limited. The internet wasn’t what it is today. We didn’t have female representation outside of things like Disney where we saw damsel in distress heroine and that was all. Jkr hid her name in initials because her series would not have sold as well if people knew it was a woman behind it. Do you have any idea how incredibly sad that it!? You can hate her all you want but it does not dismiss what she did for women all over the world with writing hermione how she did.

And the goblins!!! Uggggghhhhh!!! There is no way on earth that young kids reading the series are reading it thinking that it is racist and based off of any archetype. Maybe there are the similarities now, and it is wrong, but it doesn’t make someone racist because at 12 years old they didn’t link a fantasy book with racial propaganda they never would have seen before. I have one friend who always tells me the whole series is awful because the goblins are so obviously writing out of hate for Jewish people. Forgetting that it is not obvious and was not obvious for those of us who grew up reading them. We are expected to still read all the “great American classics” that throw around the N word and speak to horrors of black people having children with white peoples to create an inpure world but that’s okay because????? Because why? How is that better than Harry Potter?

Do they stop to think how many trans people still love Harry Potter? Despite JKR. Once again it is not as if she writes transphobia into the series. There isn’t even evident homophobia in the books. It is wrong but they were released in a time period where it was not very accepted to write LGBT characters. Jkr was already trying to get cancelled by every Christian group out there for having witchcraft! That was bad enough in the 90’s/2000’s. The world was so different 20 years ago. People are forgetting that fact. I am not saying it is okay, because it is not, none of it is. But the facts are facts and 95% of media that was available in the years Harry Potter were released had no or poorly written LGBT characters. And very few female heroines. Not a lot of disabled characters. And most mainstream media was all white except for a few POC per show/movie/book. It sucked. I am so glad gen z has so many options but we did not!!

All this aside I do not think liking something by a problematic creator makes you a bad person. Especially when you did not know at the time of its creation. There are so many awful horrible people in media who continue to be given opportunists. An example that comes to mind is Jared Leto. But you can still be a fan of his and get off the hook. He still is playing a lead role in a Marvel movie that is going to be a huge hit. People like James Charles still have a platform souly due to fans. We still live in a world where Donald Trump was elected into office. Reality shows star people at their worst and they still have fans. In general women are still paid less, inequality is still so rich in this world but you want to waste all your energy on telling an entire generation to give up something that grew up with them and raised them?

Harry Potter made me what I am today. And in the end, it is a story about love and forgiveness. It is about giving second and third chances and never judging a book by it’s colour. It is about love conquering hate and teaching patience and tolerance. It’s far from perfect but it helped countless people. You can’t erase someone’s childhood because 2 decades later the author behind something said intolerant things that the fans do not stand behind. That’s not how it works.