#and now i’m gonna boop the hell out of y’all <3

[dreaminofu]

BIG DAY TODAY FOR ME AND I JUST WANT TO SHOUT IT FROM THE ROOFTOPS ❤️

[itsclydebitches]

Lovely Good Omens fandom! Many of you have asked for/mentioned having a text version of the Yelp reviews, which if I were a better person I would have remembered to include in the first place. Better late than never? So here’s a version below and I also threw this up on AO3 so there are options. For the record, I’m not at all trained in transcribing visual media, so if anyone wants to add to/edit/do whatever to this post, especially to make it more accessible, you have carte blanche to do so 👍

Also I typed this up in a hurry so, as always, apologies for any typos. 

Tagging: @lethargicdolphin, @marithlizard, @pearwaldorf

A.Z. Fell and Co. Antiquarian and Unusual Books 

Recommended Reviews 

Lindsay F. 

London, United Kingdom 

71 friends

3000 reviews

9874 photos

So I slipped into this place because I spotted my ex across the street and would have rather chugged a cocktail of bleach, lighter fluid, and a condensed solution of all my middle school years then talk to that asshole. Owner was on me the second I walked through the door and I thought he was gonna be one of those ‘Either buy something or get out’ types. Nah. I spilled the story, said I really wasn’t looking to purchase anything, and he LIT UP like nobody’s business. He gave me tea and promised I’d never run into my ex again. Which is a super sketchy promise on its own and also should have been hilarious coming from a guy a century behind in style.

...Kinda believed him though. 

Marina G. 

London, United Kingdom 

0 friends

33 reviews

48 photos

Pretty sure this guy wants a library, not a bookshop. I mean, he’s nice and all when you first come in, but trying to actually buy a book? Good fucking luck. He’s too busy to see you right now (for the record he’s super bad at pretending to be busy). Or claims that this book has already been put on reserve (then why wasn’t it in the reserve pile...?). Or the price suddenly jumped an obscene amount. Or he just straight up hems and haws until you get fed up and leave. I watched him pull a novel straight out of a woman’s hands once when she claimed that price was no object and she wouldn’t be leaving the store until she’d purchased it. You’d think she was trying to kidnap one of the guy’s kids!

So yeah. Feel like popping in to browse, maybe take pictures for your research, all while making quiet conversation with someone who quite frankly knows his stuff? This is the place for you. Want to actually buy something? Go elsewhere. Pretty sure Fell doesn’t even own a cash register. At least I’ve never seen one. 

He wants a library and I’d honestly tell him as much if he didn’t scare me just a little bit...

Aaron S. 

New York, NY

68 friends

212 reviews 

337 photos

I stayed here for three days once. Found a bathroom off the romance section and a chair hidden away in the back. Way comfier than my mattress at home. Mostly played iPhone games and kept real quiet at night. Experiment ended when I popped out for breakfast and didn’t make it back before a random 10:00am closing. Don’t think the owner ever realized what was up. 

Hana S. 

London, United Kingdom 

112 friends

115 reviews

208 photos

I really love this place. I’ve been coming here since I moved to London, about twelve years ago, and it’s one of the most soothing bookstores I’ve ever had the pleasure of visiting. Yeah, you hear talk of weird things going on at Fell’s, but really? We could all do with a bit more quirky in our lives. And Fell provides that in spades: Annual plants that never seem to wither, let alone die. The smell of incense mixing with cocoa. Strange books tucked horizontally into the shelves, feeling like they have a touch of magic to them. Nonsensical conversations taking place in dark corners (I’m talking candid chats about the apocalypse and whether angels could actually bless all the rains down in Africa. I swear Fell and his boyfriend are the religion Mythbusters or something.) I’m going to sound like a total nerd here for a moment, but it feels like some sort of liminal space. You know when you were a kid and you were just desperate to receive your Hogwarts letter? Or find your own wardrobe to Narnia? That’s what walking into Fell’s feels like. Like you’ve finally found that portal and can stay as long as you like, provided you don’t try to take anything back with you into the ‘real’ world. Hell, maybe that’s why he won’t let anyone buy his books. 

Robert T. 

Union City, CA

4 friends

26 reviews

3 photos

There’s a snake?? In this shop?? A reALLY MASSIVE SNAKE????? What are y’all doing talkin’ about your meet cutes and shit someone call pest control!

Malini D. 

London, United Kingdom 

0 friends

48 reviews

99 photos

I’m not gonna pretend I have anything to say about whether this is a good bookstore or not, but if you ever want knitting help you should definitely stop by. Mr. Fell knows an absurd amount about crafts for a guy who looks like my grandpa and he’s now replaced Youtube as my go-to for alleviating “Omg please fix this how the hell did I manage to reverse the pattern??” panic. For the record, I didn’t just wander up to a random bookseller one day and demand that he help me salvage the ruins of my first sweater. I’d taken a seat inside to wait out a storm, had my messy sleeve stuffed into my purse, and he’d offered the help. Bit of a bastard about things like gauge and color--not everyone wants to wear tartan, dude--but you get used to that. He means well. Said I should come back to show him the finished piece, which I did. Things just kind of spiraled from there. He’s an absolute treasure trove of knowledge once you get him talking and a muffin to boot. If he were twenty years younger and in any way straight I would have asked him out in a heartbeat. As it is I’m considering setting him up with Grandpa. 

Tiffany L. 

London, United Kingdom 

132 friends

312 reviews

34 photos

I’m not really a book person myself but I followed my wife in with our seventh-month old and was kinda embarrassed when he started making a fuss. Normally I’m full Badass Mom mode while in public--I’ve got a kid to feed, change, sooth, and you all can damn well deal with it--but this place was so quiet Liam seemed extra loud in comparison. I was about to take him back out when a man appeared out of nowhere. The owner I guess, based on how some of these other reviews describe him. Older gentleman with clothes out of some period piece. Anyway, he scoops Liam into his arms like he was born for it and started bouncing. Our fussy, temperamental, drama queen Liam settled in an instant and my wife got to browse to her heart’s content. I don’t know how he did it, but that man is an absolute angel. Full stars for that moment alone. 

Gillian L. 

The Hague, The Netherlands

283 friends

256 reviews

60 photos

Anyone know if the old Bentley parked out front is for sale? 

Update: It’s really, really, really not 

Billy H. 

Austen, TX

40 friends

2073 reviews

774 photos

QUEER BOOKS QUEER BOOKS QUEER BOOKS QUEER BOOKS QUEER BOOKS QUEER BOOKS QUEER BOOKS QUEER BOOKS QUEER BOOKS QUEER BOOKS QUEER BOOKS QUEER BOOKS SO MANY QUEER BOOKS!!!

Gabriela G. 

London, United Kingdom

3 friends

22 reviews

1 photos

Run by this delightfully frumpy guy who sometimes hands out biscuits from a sewing tin like my gran used to. He asked me if I was looking for anything in particular and I told him my name was Jared, I was 19, but sadly I’d never learned how to read. I have NEVER seen a man more confused in my life. 10/10 would meme him again. 

Colie A.

Enola, PA

201 friends

2778 reviews

10382 photos

I’m setting the record straight here since there are a bunch of reviews claiming it’s just London folklore: there is a snake at A.Z. Fell’s. Must be an exotic pet he usually keeps upstairs because I’ve only ever seen it twice. Is it big? Yes. Scary? Fuck yes, but I’ve never seen it do anything more than give a warning hiss at this drunk who wandered in and started yelling. (Are snakes good guard dogs? This one is.) The other time he was just chilling on top of one of the shelves. Snoozing, I guess. I asked Mr. Fell if I could pet him and he said maybe after he woke up, but then I had to get to class and all. 

Afraid of snakes? Steer clear. Otherwise I’d really recommend popping in and seeing if he’s around. Idk, maybe I’m just a snake fan but he looks super sweet and chill. Life is short. Boop the snake snoot. 

Jeremy W. 

London, United Kingdom 

86 friends

409 reviews

12 photos

I live down the street from A.Z. Fell’s and let me tell you, this place is spooky as fuck. All sorts of weird lights and noises coming from it. At all times of the day and night too. Either this bowtie wearing bookworm has one crazy sex life or the place is haunted. Jury’s out on which. 

Heather Ki. 

London, United Kingdom 

0 friends

3852 reviews

1 photos

This shop smells. Not that old book smell either, oh no, but like something is molding. I took my little Johnny in here to try and get him interested in something other than those damned video games and I walk into what smells like a whole cloud of toxic mold! My boy has a weak constitution as it is and if he comes down with anything I will be pressing charges, you mark my words. 

Jo. W. 

London, United Kingdom 

32 friends

410 reviews

61 photos

Hey, does anyone want to talk about the fact that this place burned down last month? As in, completely up in flames, I saw it happen, nothing but a smoking husk afterwards? Does no one else remember this??

Tiggi N. 

London, United Kingdom 

32 friends

33 reviews

24 photos

Has anyone read this guy’s opening hours? I included a photo above: “I open the shop on most days about 9:30AM perhaps 10:AM. While occasionally I have opened the shop as early as 8, I have been known not to open until 1.” Absolutely insane. This guy’s a madman and I love him. If anyone actually manages to get into this place please let me know because I need to shake Fell’s hand. 

Mackenzie J. 

City Centre, Manchester, United Kingdom 

807 friends

2592 reviews

13218 photos

I told my girlfriend this shop’s got a snake named Anthony and she didn’t believe me. Going back for proof next week. 

Update: got the snake selfie!!!!!!!!

Penny O. 

Chicago, IL

87 friends

557 reviews

16 photos

Caught the owner snogging some hot twink behind the cookbooks. Well done, my dude. 

[neshabeingchildish]

Happy Pranksgiving

So, this went a little differently once I started typing it out than it was going when it jumped into my mind, but @chenoahchantel told me to share it. So, if it’s bad, she the one who said y’all needed to be subjected to it. It’s corny, but it’s here.

@kiddangers

Charlotte was not looking forward to the holiday season. Well… that wasn't exactly true. She loved the holiday season, but with that meant that her beloved husband and eldest son would be engaged in their favorite year round pastime, but tenfold… pranking for Christmas.

Here's where the problem started… Max loved pranks and was very good at them. At an early age, he determined that he'd teach his kids to be pranksters too. His family was never on board for his habits, so Charlotte supported the goal, but stipulated that they needed to be child level, better yet, age appropriate and comprehension based pranks… SO OF COURSE, they would have a genius kid who could at times go toe to toe with his old man in the pranking world. 

But, it got out of hand. Maximilian, MiniMax, would pull pranks that went totally against Charlotte's stipulation and between the ages of 6 and 9, it was virtually nonstop with her Maxi boys. From the time he was about 6 until now (he's 16) they had prank wars, while the other children shied away from it for fear of being super pranked by their big brother. Little did they know, MiniMax wasn't interested in pranking them. He sought out worthy prey. When he was 9, he scared Charlotte right into labor with twins she had been carrying and almost injured her. 

Max was ready to ban in home pranking. His wife and two of his little ones might have been harmed simply because he let this shared love between himself and his kid go a bit too far. But, Charlotte wouldn't let him ban it completely. That would make two dudes she loved very much very unhappy. What she stipulated this time was that they only pranked each other during the Christmas holidays. And so, a tradition was born.

Each year, they would get more into it. Sometimes MiniMax would induct one or more of 3 of his 4 younger siblings. Sometimes, they were Team Dad. But, they were learning as time went on and had declared at Thanksgiving that the 3 of them planned to enter their own prank into this year's wars. Max was so proud! Charlotte? Terrified. 

The baby had just turned 2 in October. Now, she had a 16 year old who called himself “Prank Savage” vs his adult father “Prank Savant,” and now her 10 year old daughter and 7 year old twins wanted to be involved? Suddenly?

“Are you good to make sure that things don’t get out of hand?” Max wondered. 

Charlotte assessed her surroundings. There was a 2 year old girl on her teet. She had teeth and was being weaned off, but not yet off. But, she could multitask, so she was waving a book around and kept hitting Charlotte upside the head with it while she was helping the twins with a project that looked like it could become unstable at any moment. MiniMax was rushing through the house, gathering things and giving himself a motivational speech and she was receiving an incoming, work related call. “I can’t make any promises,” she said. “Why don’t YOU make sure that things don’t get out of hand?”

“The kids will accuse me of cheating!” He said, wondering how that was not obvious.

So, that was that. She would HAVE to be the person to try to make sure that it didn’t “get out of hand.” If you asked her, these pranks had BEEN out of hand and were, every single year. Last year, MiniMax had set the entire neighborhood’s sprinklers to pour out his own concoction of insta snow whenever Max went to plug in their yard decorations. Everyone’s yard on the block was flooded with this fake snow EXCEPT for theirs and people came over to give Max a piece of their minds about it. 

Max smiled proudly at MiniMax and said, “The pupil surpasses his master.”

“Have I WON Pranksgiving?” MiniMax asked.

“I think I have no choice but to concede this Pranksgiving to you, Son.”

“YES!!!” He cheered.

“What the hell are you people talking about?” The neighbors wondered.

“Oh. And MiniMax? You’re on fix it detail for these people’s stuff.”

“It’s biodegradable. A few days it’ll break down and make your yards look LUSH!” He gave them an OK finger gesture. Then turned to his dad and reminded him, “And as per Pranksgiving earnings, you’re to call me The Maxter.” He patted his father on the chest and moved on with his day.

Max vowed that this year, he would not be calling his own son The Maxter. He was gonna put MiniMax back in his place. But now, other challengers were here. He and MiniMax didn’t usually play fair in this. 

At Midnight, every Black Friday, they both went into beast mode. Pranksgiving was their Christmas. They didn’t even seem to be taking the younger trio seriously and Charlotte was a little bit salty about it, to be perfectly honest.

“What do you kids have in mind for your Pranksgiving?” She wondered. The twins began to speak in their unique twin language, not knowing that she could pick it up sometimes (they’d find out eventually and somehow switch to another secret language. What an adventure that will be for her! But, for right now, they made a decision).

“You hate the pranks, so we know that you aren’t a spy. So, we’ll tell you, BUT, MiniMax is ALWAYS listening for signs or clues to stay ahead of DadMax..” He could just call him Dad… “So,” he glanced around and began to try to use sign language. Charlotte didn’t know a lot of sign language and whenever the twins not only learned it but taught their older sister, she figured out the basics. Nobody was deaf, but  it was a good skill. Their kids often learned things just because they didn’t know them before.

“Okay… That all seems good. I did have a few cracks, but I think I might be able to fill them in. You three need any help with it all?”

“I’m glad that you asked. We seem to be supremely low on the funds for this,” the 10 year old, Phoenix, announced. She smiled brightly, looking just like her dad, but slightly browner and with chubbier cheeks. 

Charlotte said, “Make me a list and I’ll see what I can do.”

The trio did several mini pranks, amateur hour really, and Max and MiniMax would try to cheer for them and tell them that those were all great. The twins would complain in their twin language afterwards and MiniMax would always tell them that whenever he was their age, he wasn’t the Maxter either. “Keep workin’ at it. You’ll come up with something great!” 

Phoenix folded her arms and said, “Don’t condescend them.”

“Condescend to,” he corrected her and booped her on the nose. She turned red, but forced a smile. “Great job, Fearless leader.” He walked off and she was livid.

“Does he think you’re in charge of this prank mission?” Maxavier asked. 

“Surely, he said that in jest, because she’s currently the least intelligent of all of us,” Maxwell said.

Phoenix threw him a look, “He probably said it so that you two could say stuff like that and I could clobber you before we prank them real good!” She stormed off. “Stupid Maxmen!” She went to go see her mom and sister. “Mom… Why wasn’t I named a Max? Did you already know that I wouldn’t be as… great as any of the others?”

“What? You’re awesome. You live with a house FULL of… very unusual boys and basically a crazy man child. Your dad is sweet, but Pranksgiving time is my yearly consideration to quit my wife job,” she joked. Phoenix was sad, though. “Phoenix… We named you after your aunt Phoebe and your dad. He always wanted his first daughter’s name to be hers, but I made him compromise, since he wanted every one of his sons to be a variant of a name that could be shortened to Max. If you want to look at a nonsense name, look no further than MAXAVIER, which I had to haggle him down to from MAXKAVELLI!”

“I’m so surprised that he didn’t try Maxson.”

“He did. I hated it a little more than Maxavier.” She laughed. “You don’t lack greatness, Love. The Maxes are just always trying to prove themselves to their big Max, and well… You’ve always been more independent.”

“Why didn’t you want me to be a Phoebe?”

“Because, there’s already a Phoebe Thunderman and I didn’t want my legacy to be named after her completely. But, Phoenix has Phoe and an X, and the Phoenix is an inspirational creature. That’s why I decorated your nursery the way that I did. You’ll leave your mark on the world, whether or not your brothers realize it.”

“Mom… could you help me with something? I have an idea, but… I don’t know… It’s sneaky and risky. It might hurt the twins, but they think I’m too stupid to give them my ideas.”

“I will support anything that uplifts you, and I’ll handle the boys, too.” Charlotte winked at her. 

.

So it happened. Max was working pretty nonchalantly on his pranking scheme. MiniMax was far more diligent about his. The twins had been “pestering” the two of them with various tricks along the way, and Charlotte was able to speak to the twins about how they made their sister feel with their comments and how to be more accepting of her as sort of a black sheep in the family. (That was one of the ways that Max and Phoenix bonded), but she knew that whatever stories he told of how he didn't fit in with his family for a long time too… It couldn't be like how she felt to be the only person in their home who was… mediocre. 

Even baby sis, Charbonnet, was manifesting powers, so if the baby wasn't a genius, she'd still have more to work with than Nix. At LEAST her dad had that in common with his family as a child. She. Had. Nothing. But his face.

When all was said and done, the twins had been briefed by Charlotte and they didn't think it would work, but one thing was sure..  they'd like to see it.

Max and MiniMax were each in their lairs, ready to execute their pranks. Once a winner was crowned, the family could go back to their holiday celebrations. Max really wanted Charlotte's gingerbread village and family fudge and she wasn't gonna have the peace of mind to make any if they were carrying on… Phoenix came running into his lair, panicked and shaking, "Dad! You have to come out here, QUICK!" 

He rushed out behind her and whenever they got outside, there were picketers and police coming to their house.

"What is happening?" He wondered.

"Maximus Thunderman?" One of the officers said.

"Yes?"

"We have numerous complaints against you and one Maximilian Thunderman for…" She began to read every single prank that he and MiniMax played that affected neighbors or outsiders in some way from like the last five years or so and Max realized that these people were the ones affected. 

"Okay. Okay. Well, I'm sure we can sort it all out…" Max began as Charlotte drove into their driveway with MiniMax and Bonbon in the SUV with her. 

"That's him!" Someone in the crowd said. MiniMax got out and was getting the toddler out of her seat when the crowd got a little rambunctious for the cop. Max got… worried. The twins were cradled closely against their older sis, MiniMax had BonBon in his arms and hesitantly followed Charlotte to where Max was facing the angry mob. 

"Max?" Charlotte said. 

"I've got it, My Everything. Will you take the kids inside?" Max asked.

She furrowed her eyebrows and looked at the younger trio. "Kids?"

"These people are here for MiniMax," the twins said in unison. 

"I'll handle this," Max said, but he looked terrified. Charlotte felt uneasy. This was becoming too much. She loved him. She gave the trio a look, a signaling look as Max tried to speak calmly with the officer about making sure that things won't get out of hand, but that his son was only 16 and while some of his pranks may have been a bother, they were hardly ILLEGAL… 

"Dad…" Phoenix said and pointed at the crowd. 

He looked up at them, ready to defend his family if he had to. But, instead, he saw them tearing away their tops to reveal various red, gold, yellow shirts, all with an image of a phoenix on them and their formation made a red circle with a golden letter "P" in the center. "What's happening?" Max asked, hands still lifted defensively.

"Nix has something to say," Charlotte said.

"Happy Pranksgiving, Dad." 

Max furrowed his eyebrows and the pocket signs were turned around to reveal what looked like a campaign photo of Phoenix, with a funny warlike face and the slogan, "You've just been NIXED." 

MiniMax's lip dropped and he looked at Charlotte. "You helped her?"

"I encouraged her," she corrected. He handed the baby to her and approached Phoenix. She was ready for some kind of declaration that she couldn't have possibly done this without Mom and general negativity,but he smirked, shook his head, very impressed and said, "You may be the Master this year… But now I know to be more careful around you."

"Yeah, but you don't have an entire community willing to help you out because your brother has been so insufferable," she said, smiling. 

He looked at the crowd. "Oh my God, she's right. Her pranks… ANYBODY could be in on them!" He quickly rushed inside to redirect this year's prank for next year, with stipulations applied from this new discovery. 

Charlotte and the twins began to hand out the thank you bags the trio prepared for the crowd and Max finally exhaled. "Nix… I'm so proud of you!" He cheered. She smiled. "I am also terrified. I'm retiring from Pranksgiving. This is between you and your brothers now." He took a deep breath. "I thought those people might harm us," he admitted.

"Well… Mommy said that as long as nobody got hurt, a little fear goes a long way in prank wars. She went into labor once. I think you'll pull through." 

They both laughed and he wrapped an arm around her. "How'd you arrange this?" 

"I went door to door and asked, "Would you like the chance to be a part of something that gets the Maxes back for their holiday shenanigans?" And everyone said yes and made me listen to everything the pranks have done to them. Hours of that for the satisfaction of beating MiniMax was worth it, though. The twins were on logistics. Mom was on 'making sure this doesn't get out of hand,' because I wanted MiniMax in cuffs, but she insisted that would both traumatize a child of color and quite possibly make you seriously injure an officer of the law." She rolled her eyes. "But.. I used my own talents. I used just what I have and I beat you all." She smiled brightly. "I'm not as average as I thought before."

"You never were," he said.

.

Charlotte was grateful to have the pranks settled for another year. Now, she could focus on all the corny stuff that the kids teased her for, but simultaneously lived for. And also some special time with her Santa Baby. "You're amazing, you know that? You saw that Nix was sad about being underestimated and you helped her to gain a victory."

"I swear, all I did was tell the twins that I believed in her idea and tell her to go for it. It was basic parenting. Girl just takes after her dad… at least in the non-scientific ways." She kissed him on the chin. "Makes her so lovable." He smiled. "I DID see myself in her for the first time in a while… when she was venting. I remember being surrounded by boys who didn't seem to notice my value either. And, one of the things I never wanted was to raise sons like that. They could all use a little lesson in seeing her worth." 

"You are so hot when you're an awesome mom to our kids."

"You kidding? You defending this family in the face of an angry mob today almost got us another child."

"Night's still young."

"So is the previous kid!" She laughed and he pulled her close and kissed her. 

"Thank you for putting up with another Pranksgiving."

"It was worth it to see her light up."

[anunvalidcritic]

SPIDER-MAN: INTO THE SPIDER VERSE

                                                MOVIE REVIEW

(DISCLAIMER: MY OPINION IS MY OWN AND CAN BE DEEMED INVALID TO THOSE WHO DON’T CARE FOR IT.)

June 27th, 2019 the year of our Lord (whichever one that may be) I watch a spectacular movie that I can truly say that the awards won were well deserved. Spider-Man was the first superhero I can truly say I looked up too and he’s super duper awesome my dudes. I plan on rewatching the movie again so I can complete this post.

Man, this post is gonna be extremely long but it’s totally worth it!

I FUCKING LOOOVVVEEE THIS INTRO MAAAAAAANNNNN!!

“With great powers come great responsibility” - UNCLE BEN

AHHHHH THEY DID THE SPIDER-MAN 3 DANCE DEAD

YOU’RE MY SUNFLOWER!!!!!!!

The love that his parents give is amazing.

I’m glad to see an ethnic spiderman its dope that he speaks Spanish and English.

I understand that Spider-man is a vigilante

“With accountability comes great accountability“ - JEFFERSON DAVIS

He didn’t have to do MILES like that lol

DEAD THAT CLASS WAS QUIET AF

AYYYEEE THE CITY IS BUMPIN’ TONIGHT!!!!!

LOL MILES needs to get his face off that window.

Ayyee black people really do that stuff with that chill talkin’ being all smooth and shiiii ROFL

OOFFF

AHHH SHIT IT’S GOING DOWN WITH THE GRAFFITI AND THE SPIDER

SPIDER BITE

LMFAO BOOP!

Damn his roommate just loves to study.

That is a lot of sweat tho

“I’M A MAN.“ - MILES

Haircut looks cool though if you ask me.

“EVERYONE KNOWS!” - MILES

“WOAH SHE’S TALL” - MILES

PETER droppin’ bops huh??

OOOO THAT LANDING WAS EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!

That was some freaky shit when that spider glitched though. It kinda turned into a thriller movie for a minute.

DAAAMMMNNN a normal person would be dead

“Stanton Island maybe but not Brooklyn!” - PETER

You better catch him!!!

he better not say you only get one of th…….. AAAHHHHH HE SAID IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HE FUCKING SAID IT!!!!!!!!!!

PROWLER got a lot of balls flyin’ up on him like that.

WILSON FISK IS TOOOO FUCKIN’ BIG!!!!!!!

Dang, these glitches remind me of when Vanellelope has hers. (I think her name is spelled wrong but it’s whatever at this point.)

You know whenever people make promises they sometimes are hard to keep.

WTF HE’S BLONDE!!!!!!!! WOAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OH HELL NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THIS MOTHERFUCKER JUST KILLED… AHHHHHHH

ROFL “Yeah I think it’s a BANKSY.” - BYSTANDER

RIO is the sweetest mom ever.

PETER should not have gone out that way! MAAAAANNNNNN

STAN LEE R.I.P

Boy, you better not jump off that building that black in you bette… LOL, HE TOOK HIS ASS RIGHT BACK DOWN!

damn, he messed up the hard-drive.

Aww, I love that ominous blue and red lighting… good symbolism.

PETER B. PARKER

Spider-Man for the last 22 years

blah blah blah workin’ hard and fallin’ in love

15 years past

buried Aunt May

Split up with MJ

Seahorses mate for life 

“Could you image a seahorse seeing another seahorse… and then making it work.” - PETER B PARKER

pizza is life

YEAH, THAT BLONDE SHIT THREW ME FOR A LOOP TOO!

“Adios” - MILES

DAAAMMMNN he didn’t have to do PETER B like that!

“Looks like a child dressed like spider-man dragging a homeless corpse behind a train.” - POLICE OFFICER

Aye, I fuck with the song that was being played through that guy’s headphones even though I don’t even know what it was. 

“Why is your body another shape” - MILES damn that’s fucked up 

GOOODDDDDAMMMMN THAT GLITCH FUCKED HIM UP!

These fucking sweatpants man

“DON’T PLAY WITH ME.“ - MILES (black people love that line lol)

“You good with that Spider-Man?!“ - MILES

“In my universe, this place closed 6 years ago. I don’t know why.” - PETER B PARKER (Probably because the restaurant has a C rating)

Was lowkey waiting for a roach to crawl across something 

I LOVE THIS SONG!

“Spider-Man doesn’t wear a cape.” - MILES (He doesn’t wear sweatpants either)

How tf did WILSON FISK get his BIG ASS INTO THAT CAR?!?!?!

lol his booty jiggled a bit hehehehehe

hold up this chick sound like Jessie from Toy Story…

WOAH either she a freak or she likes pushing people

“And I for one can’t wait to watch.” - DR. OC (WTF DID SHE JUST SAY!!)

LOL, HE HIT ‘EM WITH THE ‘HEY’.

Aww, they’re having a bonding moment! 

GWEN STAC(E)Y UP IN THIS BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Last 2 years

Joined a band

Saved her dad

Couldn’t save her PETER PARKER

Doesn’t do friends to save herself feeling.

Oh, we’re getting a little WILSON FISK flashback.

Damn, why is she driving so fast…

Something like that was bound to happen I’m sorry to say. 

This dude really got some board shoulders.

SPIDER PEOPLE

Why does PETER B PARKER have on two different types of shoes?

BRUH AUNT MAY CAME FOR HIM!

DAAAANNNGG AUNT MAY THUGGIN’ HUH!?!?!?!?!

TRIGGERED

DEAD AUNT MAY has “HELLO MY NAME IS …” cards

“Wherever I go, the wind follows.” - SPIDER-MAN NOIR

BRUH JOHN MAOULNEY

SPIDER-MAN NOIR

Year: 1933 

Job: Private Eye

Likes: Drinking egg creams and fighting Nazis (A LOT)

“Sometimes I let matches burn down to my fingertips just to feel something anything.”

PENI PARKER SPIDER

Year: 3145

Has a psychic link with a spider that lives inside of her father’s robot.

Lost her father

BEST BUDS FOR LIFE

SPIDER-HAM

PETER PORKER

Bitten by a radioactive pig 

Photographer for the Daily Beagle

Usually, when he’s not working like a dog he chasing a story

Likes to frolic and dance while doing it in his pants. 

SAD FACE EMOJI

if stitch had a glitch lol

PETER B PARKER really puttin’ MILES on blast. 

STOP FUCKING CROWDING HIM!!!!!!!!!!!

This movie is back on their spooky ooky shit

Damn only if he knew his uncle was the PROWLER...

LOL, THAT MUSIC!!!!!!!!!

RUN BOY RUN THIS WORLD ISN’T MEAN FOR YOU!

BRUH PENI’S FACE!!!

“This is a pretty hardcore origin story.“ - SPIDER-MAN NOIR

“We don’t pick the ballroom we just dance.” - SPIDER-MAN NOIR

OOOFFF WHEN AUNT MAY SAYS TAKE IT OUTSIDE SHE MEANS IT!

Of course, MILES dad is on the way

OH, SHIT SHOW HIM YOUR FUCKING FACE!!!

OH, FUCK!!!!!!

How the fuck you gonna be flying around without some type of bulletproof vest. DAMN SMH

Man, a kid should not be seeing someone die right in front of them. 

JEFFERSON didn’t deserve to find his brother that way. 

I’m glad they’re having a heart to heart to him. But that room is too small

“MILES the hardest part about this job is that you can’t save everyone“ - SPIDER-HAM

“Do animals talk in this dimension because I don’t want to freak him out.“ - SPIDER-HAM

Let the bodies hit the floor. 

“A leap of faith” - PETER B PARKER

At least his dad came by to speak to him.

He had that boy fucked up again!

AUNT MAY A THUG BRO!!!!

THIS SONG IS GETTIN’ ME HYPED UP AND I’M NOT EVEN IN THE FUCKING MOVIE!

Man them taking the bus is really killin’ me

Bruh the waiter

ROFL

BATTLE ROYALE BABY!!!!

YEAH MILES

“Do you have a problem with cartoons?!?!” - SPIDER-HAM

PENI I’m sorry to say but your BUD FOR LIFE is gone.

MILES is a smooth criminal!!

WILSON FISK BIG MAD!!

I find it so cool that each time they jumped back into the portal it was reflected off of them.

ROFL “That’s all folks” “Is he allowed to say that legally?”

WILSON FISK always tryin’ to hurt somebody damn!

NOBODY TOOK YOUR FUCKING FAMILY BITCH THAT WAS YOU! IF YOU TRULY KNEW YOUR WIFE YOU WOULD’VE KNOWN THAT SHE DIDNT GET JIGGY WITH THAT SHIT PERIOD!

THE SHOULDER TOUCH

MILES did that (with help of course)

C-Mobile = T-Moblie hehehehehehe

BRUH HE DID WILSON FISK DIRTY!!!

MILES MORALES

SPIDER-MAN for 2 days

Finally, finished his essay

Saved a lot of people

Spent time with his father

Got hit by a drone as well

Had a proper meeting with his roommate

Slapped his sticker where his dad won’t find it

Will always remember his friends. 

“Anyone can wear the mask. You can wear the mask. If you didn’t know that before I hope you know that now.“ SPIDER-MAN (MILES)

_________________________________

Y’ALL THERE WAS A GLITCH IN THE SYSTEM! Everything and I mean EVERYTHING! So thankful I was able to salvage a little bit of it back. I really do wish I was able to get what I said at the end because I meant it. :( 

_________________________________

EDIT: I was fast forwarding through the movie to get it off of my “continue watching” list and I discovered something at the end! So I’ll be making a bit of an edit. (This is a reminder that you need to ALWAYS STAY AT THE END OF EVERY MARVEL! (smh I made a rookie mistake))

James Blake has such an amazing voice

MEANWHILE IN NUEVA YORK

“I was gone for less than 2 hours.” - MAN

THE BEST LESS 2 HOURS OF MY LIFE!

oooo the man’s name is MIGUEL 

Earth ‘67

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH THE MEME THE MEME!!!!!!!!!!

“How dare you point at me!” - SPIDER-MAN

[canumoveurseatup-no]

Pop-pop’s Babysitting Chronicles

Part 3 of the Honeybee Series!!

This part was requested by: @blueoz

Don’t forget you can request what you would like to see in this series!!

Summary: You and Bucky took some time for yourselves and went on a little vacation. Annalise wants pop pop to babysit and this is just a peak into the Babysitting Chronicles

WC: 2.5K

Pairings: Tony x OC!Granddaughter ;Bucky x Black!Stark!Reader; Bucky x OC!Daughter (paternal obviously); Avengers x Black!Stark!Reader

Warnings: none, it’s all fluff and cuteness this time!!! (Jk just a tiny bit of angst if you squint)

A/N: I’m so glad y’all enjoy this series and everything else I write!! I can’t thank y’all enough for the support! If YOU LIKE IT, PLEASE REBLOG AND COMMENT IT MEANS A LOT!!

“Dad, you know her bed time is 9:05 on the dot,” you were literally making a list for him and he waved you away.

“That is such a specific time,” he waved you off

“It’s really 9. But she spends so much time with you, and picks up your vocabulary so she just loooves grace periods because ‘pop pop always says it’, so I say 9:05,” you handed him the list which he throws away right in your face and picks Anna up and kissing all over her face causing her to giggle and squealing.

“Dad! You might need that list,” You exasperated.

Tony just rolled his eyes at you yet again and look at you dumbfounded.

“Y/N. I raised you for crying out loud. I’ve watched my granddaughter plenty of times. Just because it’s an extended period this time doesn’t mean I’m incapable,”

You sighed and nodded your head, “I’m only worried because she’s not like other kids, dad. She has super strength and we have yet to see if she can do what I do and I just want her to be safe,” Bucky came in the kitchen with your bags ready and Tony nodded.

“Sweetie, you were two when you started Shadow traveling, I think I can handle my granddaughter for a few days,” he kissed your cheek and patted your head, “You worry too much. Relax. Have fun”

“Okay okay. Don’t let Sam or Clint get a hold of her during their football marathons. We don’t want a repeat of when she was a newborn,”

“Fun times,” he looked up at the ceiling and sighed happily.

“Dad!,” You swatted his arm and he just laughed at you.

“Mama, I’ll be okaaaaay. I love spending time with pop pop. He lets me in the lab with him and fly around in a mini suit he made for me,” Anna admits

“You weren’t supposed to tell her that!!,” Tony whisper yelled. Anna covered her mouth and muttered “Uh ooohh”

You wore a worried expression on your face and whined, “That’s it, we are not going anymore,”

“The hell we are! Babe, we need this and you know it,” Bucky came up to you and held your hand, “That’s her grandpa, she’s gonna have adventures with him. You forget that she can barely get hurt. And when she does it goes away quickly. She’ll be fine,” Bucky’s words calmed you down some and he looked to Tony.

“Don’t forget, her Honeybee Scouts tea party is Wednesday at 1:00 to 2:30, she was in charge of the cookies and napkins. We’ll be back later Thursday,”

“I keep up with my Honeybee and her tea parties. I got this tin man, now go so I can fuck shit up with my granddaughter,”

“DAD!!”

“Oops,” Tony tried to keep the smile from appearing on his face but there was no point. He pushed you and Bucky to the elevator and pressed the lobby button for you, “I raised you just fine. I can handle a mini you all over again. Have fun and be safe,”

You sighed and kissed Anna all over her face and she giggled while pushing you away, “I’ll miss you guys but gooooo! I love you, mama,” she grabbed your face in her little hands and kissed your nose. “Papa” she raised her arms up and he picked her up effortlessly.

“I love you, papa. You two better make it back safe,” she waved a finger in his face sternly with a frown.

“Yes ma’am,” Bucky’s eyes glowed at his daughter before kissing her cheek and the elevator dinged.

Everyone else had already said their goodbyes and kept it short knowing you’d be back in like, less than week. You were supposed to have left like an hour ago, but you being the worry wart you were, you stuck around and lectured your dad about how to watch his granddaughter when he’s done it millions of times. You were lucky you were using one of his jets or else you’d be screwed.

Anna climbed out of his arms and went to into Tony’s, wearing a big smile, and they waved back at you two as the doors closed, “we’ll try not to eff too much shit up!” She smiled

“ANNALISE LILLIAN STARK-BARNES!!!,” you and Bucky’s yelling could be heard through the closing and descending doors.

Tony shook his head and told her to watch her mouth, “Watch it, don’t want your parents to beat my butt for you repeating me,”

“Oopsie, sowwy,” she smiled sweetly.

“Now... what do you wanna do first? Prank wars or help pop pop on one of his projects?,”

———

She picked pranking first. She had painted Sam’s wings periwinkle with glitter and literally wrapped all of Clint’s weapons in gift wrapping paper.

They ended up pranking Steve as well by adding pink hair dye to his already pink shampoo.

“TONYYYYY! ANNAAAAAAA!!!!,”

Anna and Tony hid away in a secret passageway in his lab and laughed their butts off, “He’s gonna be even more upset when he finds out his suit matches,” Anna’s hands covered her mouth as she was hysterically laughing.

“WAIT UNTIL I FIND YOU BOTH!!,”

“We got an angry old man on our hands!!” Tony laughed even harder. Anna took her pop pop’s hand and led him to the lab after a while of cracking jokes and hiding.

“I wanna fix some stuff up. Mama and papa won’t let me in here any other time,” she immediately took some wire cutters and working on a panel for his suit, “you still haven’t put this in your suit, pop pop?,” she asked

“I left it fo you, I didn’t wanna finish it if you started it. This is our thing, I wanted to leave something for you to work on when we finally got back in here. Plus, whatever you did right, I can’t figure it out to continue,” he booped her nose and she scrunched her face up at him while giggling.

“You just had to readjust the digitizer and reboot the program. The white wire was also in the wrong circuit. You had to switch it with the orange one,” she was so nonchalant as she worked. He stared at her in awe as she continued to split wires open and rework them.

“What do you wanna do when you’re a big girl?,”

“I am a big girl, pop pop,” she sassed. He threw his head back in light laughter and shook his head.

“I mean when you’re a bigger big girl,”

“I want to work for NASA,” she simply stated.

“Really?,” he became intrigued as he worked on yet another project.

“Yes, the ESD to be specific,” she took a pair of tweezers to work with the wire, “That’s the Earth Science Division in case you didn’t know,”

“I already knew that, Honeybee,”

“Hey, I’m just making sure!,” she shrugged, “I want to focus on climate change to be even more specific. There are a lot of human related causes and Earth is hurting. So I want to help fix her up. Not just put a bandaid on her and turn my back on her, I want to cure her pretty much,”

“You are definitely my granddaughter,” Tony adored how smart she was. He adored her drive for things and how sure she was of her future plans. You and Bucky raised her right.

“You think I can do it? You don’t think that’s something only boys can do? Like with space and stuff?,” she paused for a second to look at her pop pop and he frowned.

“Of course not. You can do whatever the hell you put your mind to. Did someone tell you that you can’t?,”

She huffed and nodded slowly, “Queen Bee Eurena, our new scouts leader, said that stuff is only for boys. But you all always taught me jobs don’t discriminate, it’s the people in charge that do,” she continued working on the panel but she didn’t realize how pissed Tony had become. How dare someone tell his granddaughter that she can’t do something just because she was a fucking girl?!

“Ya know... I know a guy who works at the ESD,”

Anna slammed the wire cutters down on the table, “YOU WHAAAAT?!,” she screamed.

“One day I’m gonna let you meet him. Let him know there is someone special who would be a great asset to the team. I can even get you a tour of the place,”

“NO WAY!,” she squealed, her little braids with beads clashing together to make noise.

“Yes way!!,” Tony gave her enthusiasm right back.

“But I wanna work for it! I don’t wanna get the job just because I’m your granddaughter. Trust fund babies do that,” she said.

“Honeybee, it’s okay. I know you’ll work so hard that you won’t even need me to put in a good word,”

She nodded and told him to lean down so she can kiss his cheek, “I’ll always need you, pop pop,”

————

“Honeybee! Do you have your sash?,” Tony called from down the hall as he packaged up the expensive cookies and napkins. Tony has to go all out.

“I can’t find my crochet patch!,” she called back.

“In your room, by the your crafts box!,”

“Found iiit!,”

He heard the pitter patter of running feet, “I need help,” she pouted.

Tony took a knee as he pinned her crochet patch on her sash, “We’re gonna have to sew this on,” he mumbled.

She pointed to a patch on her sash, “I can do it! I was the first one to get the sewing patch. Up next is the worker bee patch!,” she exclaimed.

“You got this,” he fist pumped her and picked her up as well as the bag of cookies and napkin. “Off of the beehive we go!,”

———

Tony sat back in the picnic chair and sipped his lemonade as he watched Anna run around the park with her best friend Adora. They were connected at the hip and they defended each other like sisters. It was a great friendship to see.

“A-are you new?,” a tall lady came up with the same uniform as Anna, “Queen bee Eurena, transferred to this hive like a two weeks ago” she held her hand out.

“Tony Stark and yes I guess you could say I’m new. Anna is my granddaughter, her parents usually attend but they’re on vacation,”

“Oh she is such a pleasure to have!,” Eurena clapped, “She works really hard and helps everyone, everyone loves her! I bet she’ll make a great nurse someday,”

“Nurse?,” Tony frowned, “Anna doesn’t want to go into nursing. She’s a NASA nerd,” she chuckled.

“Yes, well we try to teach our girls to have attainable goals,” she nodded. Tony took his sunglasses off and really looked at her like she was stupid.

“NASA is totally attainable!,” he exclaimed, “I’m not sure what you taught your previous hive but this hive doesn’t belittle their bees’ dreams,”

Eurena frowned at Tony and put her hands on her hips, “Well sure but that’s no place for a lady. Especially a wonderful one like Anna,”

Tony was mind boggled. This woman was really talking out the side of her neck.

“I can do whatever the hell I put my mind to!!,”

Tony and Eurena turned around to see Anna looking up at her with a frown, “What you have been teaching us goes completely against the Hive dynamic and beliefs! How dare you put me in a box! I will not be put in a box!,” Anna kicked Eurena in her shin, everyone heard a loud crack and Eurena cried out in pain. Tony swooped in to pick her up.

The other families gathered and agreed with Anna. This new Eurena woman was teaching these little girls that they need to be on a short leash.

“I will be contacting your superior,” Anna best Tony to it, “Let’s go pop pop,”. Tony walked over to the table and grabbed the rest of the cookies that hadn’t been opened yet and put them in the bag before storming off. It was a domino effect. Once Anna and Tony left, everyone else started to leave.

No wonder Eurena transferred, she clearly didn’t do too well with her other hive.

————

“Dad, she kicked the woman in the shin, fracturing it! In multiple places!” You screamed, “Not only that, she cursed, dad. In public, at her scouts party with other kids!,”

“I’m not arguing with you about this, Y/N. She stood up for herself! That’s what we all taught her! To believe in herself and not let anyone belittle her potential,”

“Tony, that’s not what we’re getting at,” Bucky sighed, “It’s the fact she kicked a grown woman in her leg. We teach her not to resort to violence, because only we know how strong she is,

“That’s why I was worried in the first place. That’s why I didn’t want to leave,” You rubbed your temples and Anna came into the kitchen.

“She was mean to me and you don’t even get it!,” Anna fumed, “She was talking to everyone like that. Telling them they couldn’t be scientists or crime scene i-investigators, or surgeons! She was telling us we would be good teachers or nurses or receptionists!, clearly there’s nothing wrong with that but she swatted our arms away when we reached for more and that’s not fair, mama!,” her bottom lips started quivering and she was shaking in anger, “not fair!”

You looked at her and sighed, you did always tell her to never let anyone talk down to her, that she was more than what anyone ever said, you guess she just had enough of this woman in her short time knowing her that she acted out. You kneeled down to her and saw how she was controlling her breathing as best as she could.

“You’re doing a great job with your breathing, Honeybee,” you whispered, you taught her breathing techniques when she got worked up, “I’m sorry I was yelling but you know we don’t condone unnecessary violence,” you rubbed her cheek.

“I understand, mama. But she frustrated me more than I’ve ever been and... and I couldn’t help it,” she slapped her hands on her thighs in frustration, letting out a loud groan that worried you.

“Buck,” you called over your shoulder. Bucky came up behind you and lifted her in his arms and she let it all out.

“I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to hurt her, I didn’t!,” she clenched her fists in his shirt and he rubbed her back, “Pop pop stood up for me. He believed in me and I just acted out,”

Tony came over and tapped her shoulder, making her turn her head to look at him as she cried, “We all believe in you. But I must admit the kicking and swearing is wrong, okay? We’ll even apologize but I’ll be damned-,”

“Dad!,”

Tony cut his eyes at you and sighed, “We’ll apologize but I won’t allow that woman to be around those little girls taking to them like that,” he glared at you and you flicked your eyes to Bucky who agreed, “Now give me my Science bee,” he made grabby hands and Anna gave him a watery smile while moving into his arms.

“We are sorry,” She said to you and Bucky. You both gave her a kiss and a stern reminding that she can’t go around kicking people who offend her (even though you both are guilty of that.)

“You’re fine. Just make sure you apologize for kicking her. But not apologizing for verbally defending yourself,”

Anna nodded and Tony carried her to the lab to set up a date to tour NASA and the ESD.

She kissed his cheek and smiled, “Told you I’d always need you,”

—————

Pop pop Tony defending his granddaughter warms my heart, and we love Anna no matter whose shin she fractures!

If you like it, please reblog and comment! It means a lot💕

Tags- @vozit @blackreaders-assemble @mbaku-babygirl @majikmelanin @babybubastis @amethyst-dreams-and-candy-canes @spideys-wife @yournonlocalpoc @sideeffectsofyou @curlyhairclub @mirajanestrauss1999 @fromlia-withlove @blowmymbackout @mokacoconut @livayah @lusty-leopard

[superbadassnatural]

A Man of Many Wonders

Summary: Jensen and Y/N are watching a movie when she tells him a story from her childhood. Well, Jensen gets all tingly when everything suddenly turns black. Square filled: Three am Pairing: Jensen x Reader Word count: 1,170 A/N: This was written for @spngenrebingo. Hope y’all enjoy it.

(x)

You snuggled closer to Jensen, his arms were wrapped around you throughout the whole movie. The bowl of popcorn, now empty, was set on the coffee table. Avengers: Infinity War credits’ were rolling on the TV. You looked up, glancing at him only to find him staring back at you. He smiled.

“Were you crying?” he asked. His brows furrowed and a smirk playing on his lips.

“No!” you sniffled, your cheeks heating up as you tried to cover your face.

Jensen chuckled, hugging you and kissing your temple. As the screen turned black, you found yourself obligated to get up and turn the lights on. Your boyfriend was sprawled on the couch. You laid between his legs, resting your face on his chest. His calloused hands reached your head, caressing your scalp.

“It’s late.” you murmured against his bare chest. The clock read 2:45 am.

“Still, I don’t wanna go upstairs yet. It’s so comfy here.”

After a long week of hard work, you finally flew to Austin to stay with Jensen during the weekend. You missed him. You missed being around him. Text messages, FaceTiming, phone calls weren’t enough. So you decided to come to his house and spend some quality time with him.

“Y’know, when I was younger, about 11 years old, my cousin told me that every night at three am the gates of hell open and the demons can be among us. I don’t believe, but I’m not total sceptical about it.” you rambled, adjusting yourself so you could face him.

“Jeez, Y/N, that’s creepy even for you.” he said with narrowed green eyes and a twisted mouth.

“What can I say? I grew up on a weird, crazy family,” you shrugged while reaching for your phone. 2:55 am. “Hmm, that’s weird.” you mumbled.

“What?”

“Out of nowhere, I’ve got no signal.” you showed him your phone.

“That’s weird,” he grabbed his phone. No signal. “You shouldn’t have told that story when it’s almost three in the morning.” Jensen grumbled.

You snuggled to him, mumbling an apology. Jensen held you against his chest. His hands running through your h/c locks. Your eyes started to close heavily.

“We should go upstairs.” he mumbled against your hair.

Shaking your head, you muttered. “Here’s so comfy.”

As you snuggled to his chest, feeling his scent invade your nostrils, the tv turned off and the lights on the kitchen went out. The whole apartment was suddenly dark.

“Holy shit,” Jensen blurted out as he glanced at the clock. 3:00 am. “As if I wasn’t scared enough by that story of yours, now this?!”

You laughed. Out of nowhere, your dog, Angus, ran towards you. But the pug didn’t climbed on the couch, instead he started running in circles. You glanced at Jensen, just as clueless as he was. Angus had finally stopped and raced to the door. Bumping his head, he tried to dig a way out of the house.

“Now I’m scared,” you said, sitting next to Jensen. “Go pick up some candles. I’ll try to calm him down.” the green eyed man turn the flashlight on his phone on and headed to the kitchen. “Hey, buddy! Come here, Angus.” the dog ran to your arms.

Once he was in your arms, he eased a little. His breath was erratic. The poor thing was really scared. You kissed the top of his head as he rested against your chest.

“What has gotten into him all of a sudden?” Jensen asked with a candle in each of his hands. He placed one beside the tv and the other on the bookcase. His eyes glued on Angus and his weird behavior.

“I dunno,” you put the dog on the couch, caressing his belly. “But, you know, people say animals can sense things. Like supernatural things.” You wiggled your brows.

Jensen shivered. “Don’t you start with that, Y/N. You know I hate that stuff.” He crossed his arms, eyes not leaving yours, body leaned against the bookcase.

“Why?” You got up, walking towards him. “Cause you get all scared, big man?” You boop his nose.

“Of course I get scared. You come with this weird story and then all of a sudden the power outages and our dog tries to dig his way out of this house? Like, what the fuck, man? Wasn’t I supposed to be scared, miss I fear no fear?” Wide green eyes stared back at you in annoyance.

“Aw, you’re so cute when you are scared,” you pecked his lips. “Well, it’s not that I’m not scared, it’s just that I know that I got you to protect me.” You rested your head against his chest as your hands found their way to his middle, holding him. His arms squeezed your waist as he planted a kiss on the top of your head.

“Guess I’m gonna have to be a little Dean to keep you safe then.”

You both took the candles and went to your room along with Angus. The poor thing hated being in the dark. You laid in bed, waiting for Jensen. He put the candles in highests places of the bedroom. Angus hoped in your bed and laid on the end of it. It didn’t take long for his soft snores to be heard.

Jensen crawled next to you, resting his head on your chest. Your hand made its way to his hair, stroking it softly. A small groan escaped his lips, his eyes closed while he enjoyed your treat.

“What do we do now?” He asked almost inaudible.

“We either sleep or wait for the energy to come back.”

“Hmm… this is so good,” he turned his face slightly, only to press his lips against the soft skin of your chest. “I love you… and this.” He hummed.

“Love you too, Jens.”

No words were said after that moment. Every now and then you would hum some of his favorite songs and you would feel a small smile forming in his lips. But mostly, the room was silent. A low beep of the watch placed on the nightstand was heard, announcing it was finally four in the morning. With that the lights were back again.

“So, 3:00 am might have caused all that then.” You smiled, looking down expecting to see a grumpy face, only to find a sleeping man.

You moved his face to his pillow slowly, getting up to turn the lights and the TV off. Once back in your room, you blew the candles. The room was dark again so you could finally fall asleep. You crawled to your bed, planting a kiss on Jensen’s cheek before spooning him. If someone had ever told you Jensen would be scared of a kid’s story and power outage, you would have laughed until you cry. Seems like even after all these years you’ve been together there’s always something to discover about Jensen.

Feedback is always nice! So please, leave some and help me improve my writing skills (which are rusty btw). 

[askthetotallynotsquad]

Boardwalk bros?

Ali: ya know it's okay so sure :3

-----

Rich: *being calm and stuff and watching egg clam close to home*

Jeremy: Rich what the hell are you doing?

Rich: *sniffles bc it's s a d and he's c r y i n g* watching egg clam close to home-

Jeremy: *sits next to the Rich and hugs him bc they’re all dating??* it’s okay dude

Rich: *hugs the dolphin back* ThE nONMySTErIOus gUy WaS sO meAn aNd nOW hE'tH nICe (not the real plot of sffh- duh)

Jeremy: Rich calm down- it’s okay, isn’t it good that he’s nice?

Rich: weLL- yeah I geuth *calms up*

Jeremy: *holds the Tich bc hes v small*

Tich: I'm v small

Rich: ew go a singular way tich

tich: *:(* okayyy... *goes a singular way*

Jeremy: I- *cuddles the RICH* (idk how to feel typing this)

Rich: *cuddles the JEREMY*

Jeremy: oh my god you are so small it’s amazing

Rich: well

Jeremy: *kisses the Rich* (THIS FEELS WEIRD TO WRITE- but uh- here Jeremy x Rich shippers-)

Rich: *kisses the Jeremy* (I could care less so um \('_')/)

Jeremy: *puts a blanket over the Rich* sleeppppp- you be been crying too much

Rich: *sleeppppps*

Jeremy: *is still holding the Rich bc that’s what people do when they’re dating??* hhh *is playing with the Rich’s hair*

Rich: *slep*

Thunder: hello y’all

Storm: YEEHAW

Rich: *is spooked :0*

Jeremy: *falls off the couch* OW-

Rich: *becomes a caterpillar because he makes a cocoon with the blankets :))))))))) <this is clearly a CATERPILLAR not a WoRm*

Jeremy: richie, what are you doing-

Rich: I am a c a t e r p i l l a r

Jeremy: a cute one

Rich: *:0* all pillarth are cute

Jeremy: you’re the cutest one * boop*

Rich: e

Jeremy: I’ll be right back *kiss owo*

-when Jermey comes back-

Jeremy: Rich...what are you wearing-

Rich: *epically wearing a crop top*

Jeremy: *v v v red* w-why-

Rich: becauthe I feel like it

Jeremy: wait- where did you get that-

Rich: the children's place

Jeremy: oh my god Rich- *picks up the rich*

Rich: *epically is a crop top god*

Jeremy: I don’t know how Michael and Jake will feel about this Rich

Rich: *puts on some epic sunglasses that are way to big for him* I could care less what they think *finger guns*

Jeremy: wow- hey those are my sunglasses-

Rich: overly too bad for you

Jeremy: oh well *puts the Rich down on the Jerems bed??* slep

Rich: no

Jeremy: yesssss *turns off the lights and puts the fairy lights on*

Rich: where is cat *:(*

Jeremy: nononono don’t be sad b- I’ll go get him! *runs downstairs*

Rich: *:((*

Jeremy: *comes back with the cat and sits on the bed* here you go Richh

Rich: *feeds cat a goldfish* here you go babyyyy boiii *uwu pats cat*

Jeremy: aweee *puts his arm around the rich*

-latar-

Rich: *asleep holding cat who is also alseep In his hands uwu*

Cat: *bein heccin ADORABLE*

Jeremy: *fell asleep like on Rich*

Later: cat the whale

Cat: *licks rich's face*

Rich: huhh- *awakens* aweeee hi catt *:3*

Cat: *uwu*

Jeremy: *asleep with his head in Rich’s lap-*

Rich: *slowly gets up and goes outside to play with cat*

Jeremy: *awaken and puts on the Jakey D’s sweatshirt bc he can and walks outside*

Rich: *playing with the epic tiny whale*

Cat: *epically happy*

Jeremy: this is too adorable *takes a picture on his Polaroid bc aesthetic*

Rich: *doot gives cat a goldfish* good boy cat!!

Cat: *I n h a l e*

Jermey: Richie come hereeee

Micheal: *walks in the Jake bc they were being tops somewhere else 😎* Tf is Richie doing??? *confusion*

Jeremy: he’s being adorable with cat *still wearing the Jakey D’s sweatshirt*

Jake: nah b- I think you’re the adorable one right now *wraps his arm around the Micheal??? Sure??? Idk I’m not Micheal-*

Jeremy: Jake- I don’t think you’re getting this sweatshirt back anytime soon

Jake: eh- I’ll just steal Micah’s then

Micheal: why is it always my stuff!? *:(*

Jeremy: don’t be sad!! *hugs the michael*

Jake: *hugs both of them bc why not*

Jeremy: awe I love you guys

Micheal: Well what if I love you guys more?

Jake: Well what if I love you guys the most-?Richie! Come here!

Jeremy: Jake stooooop *leans on the jake*

Jake: noooooo *kisses his head?? Ok*

Jeremy: *hugs the Jake???*

Micheal: Did Richie die or something???? Richhhhhhhhhh

Jeremy: he probably took Cat on a walk, it’s okay

Rich: *teehee made a plan with cat so um yeah whispers* 3.. 2.. 1

Cat: *pretend bites rich's neck so it looks like he died*

Rich: AHHHHHHHHHhhhhh *pretend dies uwu*

Jeremy: OH JESUS CHRIST RICH *epically runs to the rich*

Rich: *even has fake blood and stuff cause he's really good at these kinds of things*

Jeremy: CAT WHAT THE HELL?? Rich come on..wake up..*actually sobbing bc hes v v v sensitive*

Rich: *gets up* YOU'VE JUST WALKED THE PRANK THIS IS A HIDDEN CAMERA SHOW THERE'S CAMERAS UH- *points to his phone* THERE!! *proud of himself :D*

Cat: *dances*

Jeremy: RICHARD GORANSKI YOU SCARED ME HAVE TO DEATH! NO- TO DEATH! JESUS CHRIST *hugs the short man*

Rich: *hugs the jerem* teEhEE

Jeremy: *picks up the Rich*

Rich: ew heighth *clings onto Jeremy:0*

Jeremy: you’re only 6 feet off the ground- it’s okay babe

Rich: b u t th t i l l

Jeremy: *sits on the grass still holding le Rich* what about now?

Rich: better thank you very much

Jeremy: *le kiss* you’re welcome

Rich: so how do you feel about me being in a crop top *epic gaymer*

Jeremy: not gonna lie, it’s kinda hot

Rich: *blushy boye eek* i-i didn't expect you t-to thay that-

Ali: (bicycles- horray-?)

Jeremy: you asked me so I’m speaking the truth *kiss owo*

Rich: *kiss uwu*

Jeremy: kinky

Rich: you don't even know *;)*

Ali: (I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry)

Jeremy: *big blush boye* oh?

Rich: teahee

Jeremy: *picks up le Rich and walks inside* cuddles and movie- pleaseeee

Rich: y o th *snatches a blanket*

Jeremy: *puts le Rich down on le couch*

Rich: I mutht siat on your epic lap

Jeremy: go ahead *turns le tv on*

Rich: *sits on Jeremy's lap :0*

Jeremy: *wraps his arms around le Rich’s waist*

Rich: *epically puts on heathers but genderswap* love thith movie

Jeremy: you and your little heathers obsession

Rich: it'th a good movie okay?!

- latar -

Rich: *epically starts freaking out when jd explodes herself bc the fire and stuff*

Jeremy: you okay Rich?

Rich: mhmm *clearly not fine bc he's c r y i n g*

Jeremy: *turns le Rich around bc hes still in the jerems lap??* is it because of the fire..?

Rich: no I'm f-fine *still crying oh my orange juice*

Jeremy: *hugs le Rich* Rich, everything is okay now..

Rich: iM fINE *pushes germ (Jeremy) off him on my sticky cricket*

Jeremy: Rich, you’re crying-

Rich: no I'm n-not im fine. *turns away from Jeremy Oh my crunchy lightbulb*

Jeremy: Rich come on, we’ve all seen you cry before, we don’t like seeing you sad and you can talk to us-

Rich: *turns back to germ* WELL I DONT WANT YOU GUYTH TO THEE ME AS A CRY BB! *>:(* *runs off Oh my syrupy peacock*

Jeremy: Rich- we would never see or call you a crybaby-

Rich: *runs to his room shook door* ( he's way too dramatic and I don't care )

Jeremy: *knocks on the door* c’mon Rich..we don’t see you as a crybaby- you have emotions, it’s normal. And besides we know how fire makes you feel, it’s okay now, it’s all over, Jakes fine, Michael’s fine, I’m fine and you survived

Rich: I with I didn't-

Jeremy: Rich don’t say that..I love you..

Rich: that'th kinda gay-

Jeremy: rich just- open the door- I NEED to hug you

Rich: id rather not tho-

Jeremy: I know you’ll be looking for attention later then

Rich: try me! *>:)*

Jeremy: okay bye! *walks downstairs*

Later: eek

Rich: *walks downstairs* jeremyyyyy

Jeremy: *playing Minecraft* Rich it’s 2 in the morning what’s wrong?

Rich: I want h u g th

Jeremy: Rich what did I tell you earlier- shouldn’t you be sleeping?

Rich: n o. Altho I can't thleep with all the noitheth coming from Jake'th room

Jeremy: you can sleep in my room if you want *keeps playing Minecraft* they’re at it again, aren’t they?

Rich: I think-? I don't know. C u d d l e m e *sits down and wraps his arms around the jerem*

Jeremy: *puts his arm around le Rich* go to sleep shortie

Like 5 minutes Later: crunchy lightbulb

Rich: *asleep :0*

Jeremy: knew it *picks up le Rich and puts him in his room, down on his bed* (he put him in Jeremy’s room because he couldn’t sleep in his own)

Rich: *leeches onto a pillow* (cause that's what I do and if I'm rich then I geuss he does it too?? Idk)

Jeremy: *lays down next to le Rich bc they be dating*

Rich: *leeches onto Jeremy*

Jeremy: night Rich *le sleep*

Latar

Rich: *wakes up and makes chocolate chip pancakes cause they taste g o o d*

Jeremy: *walks into the kitchen half awake* Rich what are you doing-

Rich: making chocolate chip pancakes! *:D*

Jeremy: be carful- *yells as he’s walking upstairs* don’t hurt yourself!

-latar-

Rich: *made pancakes and walks upstairs* Jeremyyyyyy I have pancakessss *:)))*

Jeremy: ooooo! I bet they taste amazing babe!

Rich: *sksksksksk gives the pan* heere

Jeremy: *v long kiss* thank youuuuu

Rich: *surfer voice* no problemo my radical dude *surfer stuff*

Jeremy: *picks up me rich* stop being so cute!!

Rich: *angeri* I'm nOT cute!!

Jeremy: I don’t want to fight with you right now- you’re adorable *kiss*

Rich: *v v v long kiss uwu*

Jeremy: wow Richie getting feisty *smirk teehee*

Rich: *red boye eek*

Jeremy: *picks him up, v v v long kiss*

Rich: *even redder boye but v v v long kiss*

Jeremy: *makes out with thy Rich oops*

Rich: *sister shook*

Jeremy: Rich- you have a um- *coughs* B O N E R

Rich: oH *voicecracks* uM *hides under a blanket* tHAth fUn-

Jeremy: wow, I never knew I was that hot

Rich: have you looked in the mirror?

Jeremy: *sits on thu bed* you’re the hot one Goranski

Rich: *sticks his head out from under the blanket* what do you mean, I'm alwayth cold- *smirks :0*

Jeremy: oh my god stop *cuddles thy Rich*

Rich: *tries to escape from thy jerem* Can i have pancaketh nowwww

Jeremy: yes shortie *smiles at thy rich*

Rich: *inhales his pancakes because why would he eat Jeremy's?* y u m

Jeremy: why don’t you eat me like that

Rich: *almost falls over* wHAT- *blushing mess*

Jeremy: *in tears laughing* YOU’RE SO RED-

Rich: wELL-!

Jeremy: *rolling on the floor* OH MY GOD RICH!!

Rich: *jwj*

Jeremy: awe I’m sowwy Richieee

Rich: pft- what wath that?!

Ava: (that was possession)

Jeremy: what was what? Did I dot something wronggggg

Rich: *kiss uwu* nope!

Jeremy: yes

Rich: whyyy

Jeremy: because I'm a bad boyfriend

Rich: why would you thay that-

Jeremy: I don't give you enough affectionnnnnnn

Rich: then give me affection-

Jeremy: *jumps on thy rich*

Rich: thith youre warm

Jeremy: why thank you

Rich: eek *$qúïřmş*

Jeremy: stop moving I want loveeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Rich: *stops $qúïřmīñ*

Jeremy: hihihuhhdghegdb * h u g *

Rich: * g u h *

Jeremy: *:0*

Rich: *e m o r j y h t s e s s i k*

Jeremy: *kissesthyrich*

Rich: *kissesthyjeromebutitskissier*

Jeremy: are you trying to make out with me, again?

Rich: n o o o o o :o

Jeremy: lies

Rich: but do you want to make out with me again ith the quethtion

Jeremy: that's your own choice

Rich: *????*

Jeremy: you can if you want- *big blush man*

Rich: *skskskskkkskksksksks idk man*

Jeremy: wait- Rich, are you a vsco girl

Rich: ew no *makes out with thy germ*

Rich: *becomes hotter every seconday*

Jeremy: oh!-

Rich: *uwo*

Jeremy: you're a good kisser goranski *kiss owo*

Rich: *red bi* uno reverthe card *kiss uwuwu*

Jeremy: me? A good kisser? Oh please

Rich: oh reallyyyy? why would I kith you if you were a bad kither?

Jeremy: i- um- *v v v v v v red*

Rich: *;)))))))))*

Jeremy: *BIG BLUSH MAN*

Rich: *giggles* jeremy- um- you realize I'm on top of you right-?

[monohart]

5:42am. (roadtrip!au)

ft. sleepy!jungwoo, long drives and wong yukhei.

i made a mood board for this imagine too. 1/9 pics belong to me, the rest belong to others... and... in other news, i’m ?? overwhelmed?? with the unexpected support and feedback i’m getting with my content and you guys have no idea how happy that makes me. <3____<3 thank you. truly. and i’m sorry this ain’t as fluffy as my previous works i just really appreciate jungwoo’s hair and also wow he looks good in a seatbelt

you were awake before the sun was.

thank goodness the alarm clock went off on time because you would’ve slept right through

and you hated falling off schedule.

actually, you and your boyfriend jungwoo both hated that.

being punctual was so important to you, and you were kinda glad that he valued punctuality too.

after waking jungwoo who slept on a spare mattress on the ground next to your bed that night, the two of you moved efficiently around the apartment

you got yourself changed and condensed your typical 20 minute morning routine in 5, and grabbed the bags you two packed last night

jungwoo dashed into the kitchen while brushing his teeth, and grabbed your groceries.

by 5:42am you were behind the wheel

and jungwoo was still trying to wake himself up as he flicked through the radio channels in search of something

yep

yep he found it after a while

he glanced at you with a shy smile and you rolled his eyes

there was this early morning talk show he really liked listening to

it was a bit dumb.. the hosts were ex-comedians,

but you tuned in once, and they actually talked about interesting things. you’d learn a couple of new things from them

but you’d never admit that to him lol

or else he’d literally play it all the time

and you knew how much he liked that channel you were actually lowkey jealous because

if only he was just as obsessed about you as he was with those two hosts who were uh, middle-aged men with beer bellies

anyway

after a while jungwoo dozed off and you were stuck listening to the talk show by yourself

while stealing a quick glance at jungwoo, who was snoring really quietly, you reached over and changed the channel

bad move because the next channel was the rock channel

jungwoo sat up almost immediately, his eyes snapped open and scowled at you.

“i’m gonna doze off if i kept listening to that...”

he deadpanned at you for a second before resting his head on the seat to stare at you.

“what’s up, jungwoo?”

after getting no response from him, you thought he might’ve dozed off again, but after glancing at him, he was just staring at you with a drowsy look in his eyes

“what?”

...

“whaaat?? is there something wrong?”

he shrugs before turning the other way to sleep again

and you sigh, slightly confused and frustrated tbh.

you were sleepy too and you kinda just wanted to cuddle with him and wait for the sun to rise but you had to keep to schedule.

you were kinda restless as well because you didn’t have breakfast yet and your stomach was making odd growly noises

you kept driving though because you guys had to pick up yukhei from the bus station

y’all had the worst communication in the past month and this trip was so badly organised but what can you do

so the three of you were off to a college reunion in a neighbouring state, but jungwoo wanted to stop by the beach

only God knew why he wanted to do that but then again maybe God himself didn’t even know why

and since y’all were best friends with yukhei, y’all let him tag along on the roadtrip

the only problem was he lived on the other side of the country and

he forgot to book plane tickets so the only tickets he could get last minute were bus tickets

they were much cheaper so he grabbed it

the only problem was he arrived at 6:15am that morning

but

you guys were on a tight budget so

there wasn’t really anything else you guys could do except wake up extra early to pick him up.

jungwoo didn’t have his license yet so

you behind the wheel was the only option.

when you pulled up to the bus station, you spotted your almost giant of a friend almost instantly.

you haven’t seen jungwoo jump that quickly out of a car before, to greet his best friend

not saying you were jealous but you were kinda jealous

but oh well i guess at the end of the day you were the one who was dating kim jungwoo

and real talk he was cute and cuddly to you

just not in public

nah he’s way too shy for that

UNLESS... he was either 1) feeling extra soft, 2) drunk or 3) sleepy.

he rarely showed you off in front of other people but sometimes you wished he would show you off a bit more, y’get what i mean?

anyway

yukhei was yukhei and he must’ve been on something because he was Hella Energised??

he noticed the sleepiness in your eyes and he knew jungwoo couldn’t drive

so he told you to have a nap at the back

you were like Sure but can jungwoo sit in the back as well

cue major?? eyebrow raise?? from yukhei???

oh right.. shit.. he kinda didn’t know about your relationship yet

lol

jungwoo was Shifty Eyed but he was like ok the back is more comfortable anyway sorry bro

and yukhei rolls his eyes and then y’all were on the way again

yukhei was yukhei so he connected his phone into the sound system and the bass was booming again

he always had great music taste and you were kinda glad that you could sit in the back with your boyfriend while listening to yukhei’s playlist.

you stole a glance at jungwoo, and your heart went skrrt tiing boop because

he was!!??

already looking at you

he had that really cute hint of a smile on his lips

and he brushed his hair back every two seconds

kinda restlessly

and you could tell that he wanted to cuddle

but he was also hella sleepy

almost as much as you were

so you shifted more to his side, discreetly.

and he shifted to your side too

and you shifted again

and then him again

until you were only centimetres apart

phew that actually took a long time and you were glad that y’all were able to make it next to each other without being too obvious.

then he could finally place his warm hand on yours and you ran another hand through his bed hair which made his eyelids flutter and his lips stretched into a wider smile, one that you mirrored.

and then

he turned to you and slowly slipped an arm around your waist and pulled you flush against his side and -

“holy mother of grated cheese.”

jungwoo slammed his back against the seat and you started laughing but you leant against your boyfriend, hiding your flustered face in his shoulder.

“you two are disgusting.”

jungwoo’s laughed nervously and ran a hand through his hair again

“you, kim jungwoo, you are a f*cking brat. and i am so disgusted.”

jungwoo was laughing now, and you shrunk deeper in your seat as he placed his arm around you again.

“i tried to tell you lucas, ᶦ ˢʷᵉᵃʳ!”

“no you didn’t. you’re a disgrace.” yukhei snapped back playfully.

he kept glancing at you guys in the rearview mirror, pretending to be angry, but he was biting onto his bottom lip to stifle his grin..

because you and jungwoo were a flustered and giggly mess at the back

and y’all were so cute together and so obviously obsessed with each other

like what in the actual hell..... he’s never seen jungwoo so whipped for someone before

and maybe you couldn’t see it

but

actually now yukhei finally understood why all this time, jungwoo’s tone always changed when your name popped up in their conversations

y’all were embarrassed and flustered as heck but you guys held on tighter to each other while trying to deny anything shifty happened

to hell with that, won’t you just look at you guys smh

yukhei was cringing and screaming so hard inside but he maintained an unamused face while speeding along the highway.

jungwoo, on the other hand, was so nervous and shy and flustered you could feel his entire body just heat up

and it was kinda funny how yukhei was able to tease his best friend so easily

“i did, i swear i did! you were too.. ᵇᵘˢʸ .. ᵇᵘʸᶦⁿᵍ ᵍʳᵉᵉⁿ ᵗᵉᵃ ᶠᵒʳ ʸᵒᵘʳ ᵍᶦʳˡᶠʳᶦᵉⁿᵈ.. to listen to.. what i was saying..”

yukhei scoffed and shook his head

but he was smiling now

“whatever.”

“you guys are cute or whatever.”

[adobe-outdesign]

Pizza Simulator Liveblog

SURPRISE, WE’RE DOING IT NOW

Spoilers and thoughts under the cut. Note that these are my immediate reactions, so apologies if they make absolutely no sense.

SHADOW FREDDY LET ME FEED THOSE KIDS YOU BITCH (also that casually confirms it’s actually gen 1 fredbear we play as, neat)

GOD FREAKSHOW BABY HAS A RADASS DESIGN I LOVE IT

so.... turing test then?

paragraph 4. scott you clever clever bastard

those aren’t the chips from TTO are they? there are 5 high-pitched noises

THERE YOU ARE HI BABY I MISSED YOU

akl;dsfj WE ARE THE BEAR

that illustration of that man is the creepiest thing so far

these people. there’s too many teeth. stop it

this style is very chipper-and-friends esc

honestly the idea of someone just sitting there flicking through a catalogue trying to decide what to put in their death pizzeria is really wonderful

dashcon simulator 2.0

hey, FNAF 4 fredbear! and a, uh, that thing!

HELLO UH, REDBEAR

fun FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN

hey, new paperpals!

I fucking love this stupid-ass tiny FT freddy animation

hey, happiest day animatronics! and pigpatch you bastard, that’s where you went!

HOW DO YOU UNCLOG A TOILET REMOTELY

WHY WOULD YOU LOOK FOR ANIMATRONICS OUTSIDE THE BACK DOOR THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU

I’LL TAZE AN ANIMATRONIC, I DON’T GIVE A FUCK

God, this whole section is so fucking cool I love it

HI KELLEN GOFF ARE YOU READY FOR ROUND 2

I feel like we’re playing as william or michael. they’re probably the only two characters who would give so few fucks about this

is “YOU CAN’T PROVE ANYTHING“ a reference to William? that is a very prominent springtrap-esc cleft chin there

we have... a dayshift party on saturday? oh god, please do not tell me we’re running the FNAF 4 restaurant here

okay, somehow that sign is kind of creeping me out more than the animatronics

something bad is gonna happen on saturday. something really fucking awful.

WILLIAM YOU BASTARD COME HERE I’M GONNA KICK YOUR FURRYSUITED ASS

---> proceed with salvage well now there’s some FNAF 3 teaser memories for y’all

ahh, I can finally outlive my fantasty of tazing william afton. today’s a good day

(at least I think it’s him? it’s weird, that’s not how springtrap looks. maybe michael got his ass furrysuited and that’s who this is, would not surprise me)

huh, okay, that’s not william’s voice. unless being dead makes you loose your accent. goddamn, I still hope I get to taze him sooner or later

dude, these are some cheap ass motherfucking animatronics

scott’s like “MAKE ALL THE ANIMATRONIC VARIETIES“

minigames? scott you absolute madman

wait wait wait wait, is that drawing of rockstar freddy in the background based off of that one freddy plush meme? actually I’m sure it is and I’m dying

ah okay, there’s the british accent. didn’t hear it during the salvage portion for some reason. still doesn’t look like FNAF 3 springtrap to me though??

“I ALWAYS COME BACK“ YEAH I KNOW BITCH I WISH YOU WOULDN’T

hey, that one drawing has doofas on it!

so as far as I can tell this is post FNAF 3 in a location we haven’t heard of yet. we’ll see if that holds true

hmmm, baby didn’t kill us. maybe we’re michael and she didn’t because she knows she can’t?

(utah confirmed for state! we were already told the location, or at least one of them, was in Hurricane Utah in the books, good to have canon confirmation)

five nights at freddy’s: lawyer edition

“PARENTS AGAINST ATROCITIES“ alja;sdf

hey wait, there’s a version of foxy that isn’t broken as shit? that’s new

E G G  B A B Y

that’s either an extremely convoluted SL reference to baby + eggs benedict or a five nigthts at flumpty’s reference. both are good

“security puppet“ more like “security killing puppet“ am I right

WHO WANTS TO BUY A KILLER ANIMATRONIC FOR 5 DOLLARS RAISE YER HANDS

hmm. music man scares me on a personal level

el-chip. definitely not a killer animatronic beaver, beep-boop.

THERE’S FUNTIME CHICA I KNEW SHE’D BE IN HERE SOMEWHERE

ah yes, scaring BB, another lifetime aspiration of mine

hey wait that’s the toredor march in the background, neat

WELCOME TO PURPLE POLE POSITIOOOOON

oh no. purple car. take cake to the children

huh, a yellow sprite and a green one? one could be henry, don’t know about the other though

wait, is that the... brother? he’s wearing a grey shirt. is yellow guy Henry, then?

okay, it is a father figure

LITTLE GIRL IN THE FRUIT MAZE HI

so we have a canon face for her now, sweet

wait, is that the yellow guy up there??

ha, shadow-bonnie style powerup

lefty is toy freddy’s even less popular brother, somehow

hmm, so lefty doesn’t speak, but handunit’s here /s

mmmmmmm I don’t like candy cadet

‘what is paragraph 4‘ indeed, it still hasn’t been described to us

aww, sweetie.

wait, she called us daddy, but william’s in springtrap. does... does that mean we were playing as henry?

oh, elizibeth! that’s the little girl’s name, we finally have it!

yes, good, go to hell and stay there springles

ah, no, wait, I think we’re Elizabeth

okay, obviously I’m missing a metric asston of background info, but it’s late and I need sleep. To summarize: That was fucking fantastic