#and now im exhausted and the summer is only just about to start D:

[spiked-mall-goth]

ummmmm guys. i have had a day let me tell you. super long diary like entry lol

i had to get up early to go see my papa and help him move some furniture, and although i was running on a total of 2 1/2 hours of sleep i was excited. he lives out in the city and its about an hour and a half drive but the highway is completely surrounded by trees so that was a fun ride. listened to lots of music and talked about barbies with my dad. we counted 21 total yard sales on the trip.

got home and ate lunch after unloading some beds. my papa wanted some old twin beds out of his house so we took them home. i have a new mattress now!! which hopefully means far less daily back pain!!

after lunch we decided to go to a few of the yard sales we passed by. and let me tell you i got a HAUL. i got a pair of really nice pajama pants that have little skulls on them, then at the next one they had SO MUCH STUFF!!! like guys.. i got a sweater for 25 cents.. GUYS. i got a little black sweater, a flowy black summer top, a fucking black velvet CAPELET, and the most gorgeous black 80s prom dress; although sadly it does not zip and needs alterations but its WORTH IT!!! it has really big poof sleeves and a massive flower sash omg guys its AWSOME. at the same place i also got a little fake ivy for my kitchen :D it desperately needed a little life, a big ass puzzle to work on with my brothers, and they had MOUNDS of vhs tapes... for FREE. soooo uh yeah. may or may not have come home with like twenty new tapes. oh yeah did i metion that i only paid like a total of six dollars so far?? i made out like a Bandit. final yard sale and the woman was like 'uhhhh $1.25.'. so for a $1.25 i got a peanuts drinking glass (i think from mcdonalds..), the entirety of firefly on dvd, and a ceramic angel. normally i do not go for religious imagery in my decor, but. it was like 102F.. i hadnt slept since my two hour night.. i was severely dehydrated.. heat exhaustion was setting in a little bit.. and i dunno, she just called to me. she reminded me of laura palmer.

okay, so i get home and unload all my of goodies, then i start cleaning my room. i have to disassemble my old bed frame and clean under my bed and shit. i already have a pounding headache at this point but i have schedule to keep. beds gotta be moved b4 tmrrw. so i am FIGHTING trying to get the frame apart, i'm all sweaty and gross and i finally get it!! :D i feel some stuff falling over behind me and b4 i can even look up i get whacked right upside my head loony tunes style with a huge metal beam :( i start feeling kinda funny and i vaguely remember talking to my brother who told me to lie down. i pass out cold and hard on the couch for about an hour. vague memories of seeing something in the room with me. not really important i just think you should know.

wake up to my brothers shaking me to make sure i havent DIED. i lived! yayyy!! ate dinner, and then it was time. i have been looking at this online auction for over a week now and it was ending in a matter of minutes. i did when some some stuff! i got the directors cut of JTHM, revenge of the filler rabbit, and some other comic which i cannot remember rn.. but anyways it was 5 bucks! and then i bought a snoopy wallet for a few dollars. although i did miss out on a clear phone.. so sad. but overall i had a very good shopping day today idk why. everything just like fell into my lap at affordable prices... like wow..

after the auction i still had not moved my new bend in (ya know.. bonk on da head) so i fight forever to get it put together. but yippeee!!! its al here! and i was given a new blanket to put on it which is very soft :3

anyways now im here after showing and watching x files for a bit.

if you read all of that.... wow. ily <3. i normally dont like to just like info dump about my irl daily stuff, but today was just so like action packed it was kinda bonkers. anyways i have to go to bed bc i have more stuff going on tmrrw.... and i honestly might just cancel them.. i am TIRED.

[afuneralofathousandcandles]

Chapter Thirteen.

Days passed and nothing happen. I was scared and restless and the handcuffs and bathroom were a nightmare. When would this end so the torture could start? I was resting on my cot, asleep when a guard woke me up. "I'm gonna let you out now. You ready??" He grunted.

It was strange too. No one around here had normal eyes, the were pitch black depths of evil. Nothing behind the eyes but coldness. It made me miss my home, but I knew I would never return there.

* * Xxx* SOUTH * S ID*E * DEA*D *KID*S *xxX***

We were traveling to the underworld and in three days we would be there so the three guardsmen would drop me off in the hands of Hades himself, I heard from ease dropping before they put me in the covered wagon, still in handcuffs, in a little cage. I struggled to get comfortable and we didn't even plan on leaving anytime soon, so I wasn't too comfortable. Hours later when I was so exhausted I couldn't see straight, the first guardsman sat in the front. But I had my back to him, and wasn't interested in turning to see what exactly he was doing that was taking so long.

I rode in silence.

Nothing really interested me, since I got my sentence. Sentenced to the underworld. I didn't have much to say. Honestly I kept telling myself it would be over soon, but when would it be over? After a fucking eternity? But anyways I wasn't being strong for myself,. But I was being strong more so because it was the only thing I knew.

I wasn't scared of what was going to happen to me, I was scared of how it was going to end, my life fell apart after that night I became a demon, and I didn't have time to think that was over… Was in string enough to take these guards and escape?

The thought tempted me. I didn't know I could die until about a week ago, but the reassuring thoughts that I could use my strength tempted me.

* * XxxL O V E R B O Y ZD I EI NT H ES C A R YM O V I E Sxx*X

Two days had passed. I didn't know if we where almost there not but I will starting to you hungry the tempting thought to breaking free tempting me the whole time and I did know if I should even try or bother or just accept my fate and just take my place in Underwood.

All of a sudden a loud rattling noise took over.l the covered wagon and we pulled over. I heard the guards mumbling to each other unsure if they should stop the wagon or not but we ended up pulling over.

Only one guard got out to see what it was.

After a moment of rattling there was a loud this noise and a scream. The guards looked at each other and one quickly climbed out to see what happen.

After a moment of silence there was nothing. No noise, no guard, no warning no anything.

So the guard begins the take off driving the wagon as fast as he could. What was going on? Could it be robbers this far out? No way. I'm not that lucky.

And then a loud thud noise came from above us as someone landed on top of the covered wagon speeding up. I look up at the shadowy figure walk towards the front of the wagon yanking the guard out in one quick motion before he could even scream he was gone.

The the wagon crawled to a stop.

Then the shadowy figures abruptly jumps down coming to the back of the wagon straight to me. Revealing it was the reaper, who saved me.

A//N:

THANK YOU GUYS FOR ALL YOUR LOVE AND SUPPORT, SUMMER JUST STARTED AND I FORGOT SO IM CELEBRATING THIS BREAK AND I'M UPDATING TWICE THIS WEEK!! LEAVE ME A GOOD REVIEW ON GOOGLE, OKAY BYEEE.

[gothicxcatalystx666]

Chapter Thirteen

Days passed and nothing happen. I was scared and restless and the handcuffs and bathroom were a nightmare. When would this end so the torture could start? I was resting on my cot, asleep when a guard woke me up. "I'm gonna let you out now. You ready??" He grunted.

It was strange too. No one around here had normal eyes, the were pitch black depths of evil. Nothing behind the eyes but coldness. It made me miss my home, but I knew I would never return there.

* * Xxx* SOUTH * S ID*E * DEA*D *KID*S *xxX***

We were traveling to the underworld and in three days we would be there so the three guardsmen would drop me off in the hands of Hades himself, I heard from ease dropping before they put me in the covered wagon, still in handcuffs, in a little cage. I struggled to get comfortable and we didn't even plan on leaving anytime soon, so I wasn't too comfortable. Hours later when I was so exhausted I couldn't see straight, the first guardsman sat in the front. But I had my back to him, and wasn't interested in turning to see what exactly he was doing that was taking so long.

I rode in silence.

Nothing really interested me, since I got my sentence. Sentenced to the underworld. I didn't have much to say. Honestly I kept telling myself it would be over soon, but when would it be over? After a fucking eternity? But anyways I wasn't being strong for myself,. But I was being strong more so because it was the only thing I knew.

I wasn't scared of what was going to happen to me, I was scared of how it was going to end, my life fell apart after that night I became a demon, and I didn't have time to think that was over… Was in string enough to take these guards and escape?

The thought tempted me. I didn't know I could die until about a week ago, but the reassuring thoughts that I could use my strength tempted me.

* * XxxL O V E R B O Y ZD I EI NT H ES C A R YM O V I E Sxx*X

Two days had passed. I didn't know if we where almost there not but I will starting to you hungry the tempting thought to breaking free tempting me the whole time and I did know if I should even try or bother or just accept my fate and just take my place in Underwood.

All of a sudden a loud rattling noise took over.l the covered wagon and we pulled over. I heard the guards mumbling to each other unsure if they should stop the wagon or not but we ended up pulling over.

Only one guard got out to see what it was.

After a moment of rattling there was a loud this noise and a scream. The guards looked at each other and one quickly climbed out to see what happen.

After a moment of silence there was nothing. No noise, no guard, no warning no anything.

So the guard begins the take off driving the wagon as fast as he could. What was going on? Could it be robbers this far out? No way. I'm not that lucky.

And then a loud thud noise came from above us as someone landed on top of the covered wagon speeding up. I look up at the shadowy figure walk towards the front of the wagon yanking the guard out in one quick motion before he could even scream he was gone.

The the wagon crawled to a stop.

Then the shadowy figures abruptly jumps down coming to the back of the wagon straight to me. Revealing it was the reaper, who saved me.

A//N:

THANK YOU GUYS FOR ALL YOUR LOVE AND SUPPORT, SUMMER JUST STARTED AND I FORGOT SO IM CELEBRATING THIS BREAK AND I'M UPDATING TWICE THIS WEEK!! LEAVE ME A GOOD REVIEW ON GOOGLE, OKAY BYEEE.

[heartoferebor]

Fic update

Update on B&B for everyone who is waiting for the last two chapters: last chapter is done! I’m working on the epilogue right now and it’s hard going, mostly because I just DON’T WANT IT TO END.

[softlystarstruck]

✩ softly reading, july 12 - 18 ✩

trying out something new! i don’t really have a place where i keep track of all the drarry fics i read, other than ao3 bookmarks, and i also want to share the brilliance of the fics i do read with others. so im going to start doing lists of what i read during the week! this might change shape as i go along, and they wont really have commentary from me due to space and because i also want to start doing individual fic recs, but this is for myself and remembering what i’ve read as much as it is to share all the fantastic creators in this fandom 😌 this is also an open invitation to come flail about any if these fics with me, since i have read them all!

✩ - a fave

spotlight rec

✩ what the body wants is coolness by @lastontheboat | T, 13k |

this lovely beach fic manages to touch on deeper topics while maintaining that easiness of summer and the love between draco and harry. this is definitely one i’ll come back to again and again!

longer reads

Just Tell Me When It’s Alright by @bonesliketambourines | E, 23k |

Harry’s been fighting tooth and nail for any bit of normalcy he can get his hands on.

✩ Heart Like Neon by @lqtraintracks | E, 41k |

Bored of being The Chosen One, Harry discovers he rather likes sex and becomes a professional. He’s good at it, and part of why is that he can read people. Enter Draco fucking Malfoy, enigma to everyone, including himself.

Trouble, My Old Friend by @tepre | E, 21k |

Harry goes rogue investigating an illegal potion and ends up at Draco Malfoy's dodgy lab.

‘Til Your World Burns by @iero0, @ladderofyears | E, 25k |

Draco Malfoy is assaulted and watches as his world falls apart. Harry Potter is the quiet, unassuming wizard that finally listens to him. [H/D Wireless 2021]

✩ Everything Old is New Again by rinnwrites | E, 10k |

A year after the war, Draco leaves England with a simple plan: Find a place where no one knows him, get his potions mastery, start a new life. He didn’t count on an obviously exhausted and shockingly studious Harry Potter showing up in his very first class.

✩ In Pursuit of Lost Marbles by @graymatters | T, 22k | (this one made me cry its so good)

Every night after work, Healer Malfoy follows the same routine, beginning with a familiar flight of stairs that leads to the Janus Thickey Ward at St. Mungo's. With an air of professionalism, he introduces himself to Harry, his husband of seven years. [H/D Wireless]

On Truth and Understanding by @iero0 | E, 21k |

Draco doesn't know how to say certain things. Harry doesn't know how to ask for them.

✩ We Two Alone by borealgrove | T, 16k |

In space, Harry is Just-Harry. He is also an idiot, a handyman, and a glorified battery.

Unkissed Kisses and Songs Never Sung by femme | M, 12k |

I sit silently in the shadows, staring at the tiny, pulsing ball of light that tells me my Harry's still alive. {Untagged infidelity}

short and sweet (under 10k)

The Wedding Date by Rei382, art by @veelawings | T, 5.5k |

In an attempt to get Lucius off his back, Draco decided to convince Potter to come with him to a relative's wedding as his date.

A Text in the Right Direction by sassy_cissa, timothysboxers | M, 9.2k |

Harry Potter—Auror, lover of video games—means to text his online-gamer-friend to gloat. Instead ends up texting with a most intriguing mystery man.

✩ Sex On Legs in Six-Inch Heels by @tessacrowley | E, 9.6k |

Draco Malfoy is a brilliant freelance cursebreaker and the only one who can help the Department of Magical Law Enforcement with a very dangerous case, but more importantly, he's wearing six-inch heels, and Harry cannot handle it, he really just can't.

Good Talk, Potter by @l0vegl0wsinthedark | E, 6.7k |

Potter begins to take me apart, peeling away layer after layer of everything that I am.

The Quiver of a Heartstring by @tackytigerfic | E, 3.8k |

Draco Malfoy has been away for eight months and seventeen days, but now he's back, and Harry has never stopped wanting him. It's a shame Draco doesn't want Harry back.

Carpe Diem by leontina | T, 9.7k |

Every day Draco goes down to the Great Lake and disappears from the Marauder's Map, and Harry intends to find out why.

✩ Trouble by @l0vegl0wsinthedark | E, 7k |

Now Draco’s cock is stirring, and he can’t breathe because all he can think of is screaming Harry’s name while Harry pins him down.

✩ Love, Interrupted by manixzen | E, 9.6k | (this one made me wheeze laugh)

It’s hard enough to keep the romance alive when you’re a parent of three rambunctious kids, but Harry and Draco can’t even manage a quickie these days.

✩ A Blanket Made of Stars by @nv-md | M, 1.4k |

Draco and Harry fall together during a cattle drive.

pocket-sized (under 1k)

✩ language of love by @crazybutgood | T, 864 |

“Sometimes, I wish you could understand the things I want to say to you, about you, in Hindi or Urdu.”

blue hour by @isamijoo | G, ~200 |

“Blue Hour” refers to the darker stages of morning and evening twilight, when the Sun is quite far below the horizon, coloring the sky deep blue.

kiss my utilitarian solution by @americanmoths | T, ? |

Rarely do the problems he complains to Hermione about have such sexy solutions.

cozy art by @babooshkart w/ ficlet by @the-starryknight | G |

"Five more minutes," Harry murmured into Draco's hair, drifting fingers through the silky strands.

[thetomorrowshow]

Slower Than Words Ch. 23

First  -  Previous  -  Next

Hey..... a member of my household just tested positive for Covid-19, and I am displaying symptoms sooooooo hopefully that won’t affect posting but it has made this chapter a little shorter than I had wanted. Basically if the next chapter isn’t out on time that’s why.

cw: b a d parenting, references to trauma

~

Remus chewed on the end of his pen. Riley, Alberts, Robertson, Robinson, Richards, Allison, Reese, Arlowe . . . something that started with an 'A' or an 'R'. But what? Why couldn't he remember his own last name?

Logan was always saying something about brainwashing and trauma, but Logan knew his own last name! Stupid Logan Sanders and his calm explanations for everything in Remus's life. He didn't want someone telling him how he felt or why, he wanted to move on. He wanted to figure himself out for himself. He wanted out.

The trip to the library a couple weeks ago had been even worse than expected. Logan hadn't even let go of Patton, despite how uncomfy the kid looked. It had to suck to be twenty-something and have your dad drag you around by the shoulders everywhere you go.

Patton had only wanted one book, for some reason. There were so many books in that building, and Logan had pulled like a hundred from the shelves just to show him. He'd signed so quickly about the book that Remus couldn't keep up, but Logan had frowned and talked to the librarian for a few minutes, before eventually presenting Patton with a book—which was probably the one he'd been asking for. His face looked weird after receiving it, happy, but also seriously depressed. It looked pretty old, Remus had no idea why he'd wanted that book.

Rivers, Albright, Abbott, Ramsey, Russell, Reed, Rowell, Austen. . . . Nothing. Not even a smidge of anything. Well, if he couldn't remember his last name, what about the name of where he used to live?

The city came to him almost instantly.

Sharon.

Remus snorted. That was a stupid name for a city. Actually, he could remember joking about it with his brother, about how their mom shared it.

Energy flooded to his limbs with a suddenness, and when the bell rang from the door opening beside him he literally fell out of his seat.

“W-welcome to Chevron,” he said, straightening up. The customer nodded barely at him, making a beeline for the refrigerators in the back. Remus quickly wrote on the scrap of paper he'd been doodling circles onto so far: 'sharon – town and ma'.

Now he just had to figure out which state sounded the most familiar, and if Sharon was a city there. He'd spent days just driving around town with friends, he probably still knew his way around.

The customer paid for a few jugs of Gatorade, then left, dust puffing up behind his truck as he pulled out of the parking lot. Remus sat back down, scratching his mustache with his pen. He could google the city when he got home, then. . . .

Then he'd figure out how to tell Patton and Logan he was leaving.

-

Patton sighed, flipping through the first half of the book again. Summer, it was called. This copy looked almost identical to the other one. He closed his eyes and ran his fingers along the slightly indented title, like Virgil would. He'd had it for almost two months now, asking Father to renew the book instead of allowing it to be returned. He really wanted to finish it, after all.

Not that he could ever get himself to read past around the middle.

Patton's notebook was almost full now, but he couldn't ask Remus for another. Not after how much Remus was already doing for him. The pages were filled with studying mouth movements, bad jokes, and journal entries that mostly were about Virgil and what they'd do when they were together again. In tiny, cramped handwriting was a detailed recollection of everything Patton could remember that Virgil told him about where he lived—which wasn't much. It was hard to hold on to any memories from there. His therapist said it had to do with trauma memories being stored incorrectly, and said he might have flashbacks about it. So far, none had happened, but sometimes he wished one would—just so he could see Virgil again.

He wasn't good at drawing, but here and there in his notebook were vague sketches of Virgil. Some days, Patton woke up not sure what he looked like. He couldn't forget him. Patton would never forgive himself if he forgot the lovely mistiness of Virgil's eyes, the way his hair fell into his mouth and made him sputter, the stark paleness of his face against his black hoodie. . . .

Patton wrapped the hoodie around himself. He needed to think about something else, or else he'd start crying again. Crying made his head and ears hurt, which his doctor said would probably always be the case. So he mostly did his best to not cry, ever.

Patton cast his mind around for something new to think about, and landed on the trip to the library several weeks ago. The trip wasn't . . . optimal?

No. The trip sucked.

Father wouldn't let go of him, which just made him feel like a toddler having to be guided around. It was bright, and had a lot of people, and was a little startling, but Patton was sure he could have handled it. Why didn't Father trust him?

It wasn't just that. Father made him go to bed at a specific time every night, wouldn't let him have any say in what he ate, wouldn't even let him pick what to watch on the TV. It was . . . it was stupid! It was awful, it was embarrassing, it was demeaning! It made Patton feel worthless, like he wasn't even a proper member of society! He wasn't a boy anymore, he had even had a job back at the Haven, he wasn't helpless!

Maybe soon, with all that he'd been learning, he could prove to Father that he was capable. And if Father wouldn't believe him, well . . . Patton would have to make him.

Again, that anger was right at the surface, ready to spill out into the air. At least he had the book.

-

Somehow, Logan had let Remus convince him that he didn't need to go to every therapy appointment with Patton, so Logan was at home alone. For the first time in months. He was exhausted, but he did not have time to sleep.

Patton was hiding something. Logan was undeniably certain of it. And when Patton hid something, he hid it under his bed.

Logan didn't get up immediately. This was a matter of privacy, after all. He understood that he was likely being a little too restricting with his son, but who could blame him? He'd almost lost him. So if Patton was hiding something, it was likely best to know what it was. Patton didn't seem to realize the amount of danger he was in. It wasn't his fault, he was just a child. Children weren't supposed to worry about this sort of thing, it was their parents' jobs to care for them. So, naturally, he had to make sure that whatever Patton was hiding wasn't going to bring harm in some way. If it was, he could gently confront him about it, and explain why it was not acceptable.

With that plan in mind, Logan stood from his desk and made his way to Patton's room. His door was always open, even when he was inside—it made sense, all things considered.

The room still had almost precisely the same setup as Logan had put together, down to the making of the bed. He'd told Patton that he was allowed to customize his room and ask for personal items, but so far he had done neither of those things. The only difference was that the small closet now had a few more pieces of clothing in it.

Logan bent to his hands and knees beside the bed and peered beneath. Sure enough, there were items underneath the boy's bed: a battered blue notebook, the singular book that he had wanted from the library last month, the jacket that had belonged to the other other prisoner. Logan reached for the notebook, grunting when his back popped.

He pulled himself onto Patton's bed to open it. It was confusing, at first, some jokes in his son's handwriting, rather poor sketches of an unfamiliar face. Then. . . .

Oh.

That—that was bad.

Logan took a few deep breaths, then flipped another page, then another. More of the same. This wasn't good. This was not good at all.

These diagrams and instructions, clearly for lip-reading? These would get Patton taken away from him. These would hurt him. These would make Patton want to leave the safety of home.

These were dangerous.

~

Taglist: @enragedbees @gotta-love-alejandra @bunny222 @basiic-emo @patt0n-sanders @rosiepupper @fangirlgeekandfreak @dn-fan21 @that2000skid @remy-the-lemon-berry @itsadastraperaspera @xionbean @sanderssides-angst @hell-yea-we-gay-tonight @maybedefinitely404 @broken-pencils @thewhimsicallibrarytech @doomllily @hereissananxiousmess @judyismydog  @arodynamic-enby @at-that-one-nerd @therapysides @awkwardandanxiousfander @thekitchenpan @im-an-anxious-wreck @larkiaquail

[soulwillower]

interrupted • stan uris

(stanley uris x reader smut)

requested: Can you please do a rough Stanley smut? Like they are friends and he catches her masturbating to him and smut happens. Thank you!   +    Stanley catching you masturbating please 👉👈              +                             hello!! could u do hcs or fic or something with stan being super into dirty talk and not being able to stfu in bed but it’s unexpected bc it’s stan and reader is like 😳 i hope this made sense lol thank u

guys!!! im so sorry i made u all wait so long ahhh, i hope u enjoy!

warning: smut, unprotected sex, oral (fem receiving), dirty talk, masturbation, fluff at the end, unedited

[losers + reader are 18+ in this.]

2.5k words

♡

you sigh, glad that your parents aren't home as you plop down on your bed heavily. you're exhausted and totally pent up, ready to relax after a long day. after working this morning you went to the quarry with the others and soaked in the warm weather until dinnertime. 

but you'd fought with stan on your walk home from the quarry, and now you’re completely tense. he was annoyed because eddie had carried you around in the water, tickling you as you wrapped your hands around his neck. 

stan had no right to be mad, but for some reason he kept saying it was annoying to have to watch - so you'd called him out.

his eyebrows were furrowed as the two of you spat back and forth on the walk home, hair wet and dripping onto your clothes. he'd rolled his eyes hundreds of times at you when you'd tried to reason with him, saying that he was being a dick for no reason, and that he sounded jealous. he just kept rolling those goddamn eyes.

and now, as your hand slips into your panties, you think about how clenched his jaw was when he looked at you and how good he looked in the fading sunlight.

flashes of golden skin shivering with light goosebumps, droplets of water rolling down a bare chest... you shake your head lightly.

you slip your fingers into yourself, pumping slowly and moaning quietly. you just needed to get off, and then you'd feel better.  stan keeps slipping into your mind and it doesn't surprise you, not after going down to the quarry today, playing chicken, and then fighting afterward.

you always forget how tan stan gets from baseball in the summers - and how fit he is. so when richie had insisted he and stan go up against you and bev in a game of chicken and stan was grinning at you, shoving you lightly, you couldn't help but stare. 

of course, bev gave you so much shit but she was staring just as much as you.

so doesn't shock you when stan wont leave your thoughts, your legs twitching in pleasure as you think about your best friend. you sigh, eyes closing. 

stan's immediately there again, smirking at you, laughing and smiling, clenching his jaw, glaring at you, kissing the column of your neck, tossing you onto the bed...

your fingers pick up slightly and you can't help the gasp that leaves your mouth as you think about stan's hands on you. 

"stan," you whimper, biting your lip. your eyes are still screwed shut, one hand fingering yourself and the other on your chest. you can't help but moan out his name again. "please, stan."

but suddenly, you're pulled out of your daydreams as a voice calls out in what was supposed to be your empty room. "you expecting me?"

you open your eyes and stan is standing in your goddamn doorway. your stomach drops. "STAN!" you yelp, hand slipping out of your panties as your hands moving to stable yourself on both sides of your body, your cheeks flaming up. "why are you here, what the fuck?" you hiss. his mouth is slightly open with a half-smirk as he stares at you.

"were you just-" stanley starts and you shake your head violently, "stan, n-no."

he just lifts a brow at you, his cheeks red but his face in a suggestive smirk. "you sure?" he asks, stepping further into your room. your hand moves to clutch your shirt tightly and your stomach coils. "what do you mean?" you ask sheepishly, hoping to god that he didn't hear you. he just smirks, lifting a brow.

since when did stan get this kind of cockiness? you scowl, "why are you even fucking here, stanley?" you say sharply.

"well i was here to talk to you." he says, eyes raking over your figure unabashedly. "but if i'm interrupting something-"

"shut up, stanley." you snap, nostrils flaring in anger. "you're a dick." you mutter, completely embarrassed. you think you might cry because of the way stan's smirking at you, standing above you. 

he's smiling tauntingly and you want to slap him. 

you stand up, hoping to gain some leverage but he doesn't budge as you try to shove him out of your room. you don't care that you're wearing only a t shirt and your panties as you shove at his shoulders, him laughing lightly. 

his hands fall to your wrists, "hey, you can't blame me. that was hot as fuck." he says almost sheepishly and you blanch, eyes wide. he certainly heard you masturbate to him and now he's calling it hot. "wh-what?" you stammer.

he grins at you, relieved that you stopped assaulting him and now he's just holding you, tugging you closer slowly. "well, i'm here now. you don't have to imagine it anymore." he says simply, stating it like its the most simple thing in the world.

 "stan." you whisper, eyes wide in shock. his hands drop your wrists and he slips his arms around your waist to hold you. you put your hands on his shoulders lightly, blinking at him. "y/n." he whispers back, smirking at you. "let me make you feel good." he whispers again and you raise your eyebrows, stomach flipping.

shit, this was a dream. it had to be...

you nod numbly, muttering an, "okay."

and with a smile, he leans down to kiss you. you keen towards him in surprise, hands wrapping around him and holding his shoulders in shock. he nudges you backwards and the two of you fall to your bed. you let out a breath as you hit the mattress, smiling as he leans in to kiss you on the lips. his tongue runs along your bottom lip and you open your mouth for him, feeling him grind softly against your core. "fuck, stan." you whimper into his mouth and he kisses along your jaw, moving his hips against yours again.

"when were you going to tell me you get off to thinking of me?" he mutters into your ear and you swallow, groaning quietly. jesus.

when was anybody going to tell you that stan was such a bold talker in bed? stanley fucking uris?

"d-didn't think you'd care to know." you mutter, face bright red in shock as he thrusts against your hips, both of you moaning softly. he chuckles lightly against your collarbone, sucking a mark lightly before leaning up. 

"i've wanted to hear you say my name like that for a really long time." he says, cheeks turning red, leaning back to take off his shirt. your mouth dries up as his shirt gets discarded on the floor. he always makes you speechless but the sight of stan in between your legs, breathing quickly and muscles contracting and cheeks flushed almost makes you cum instantly. 

he lifts the hem of your shirt and you pull it fully off, pressing a kiss to his lips hotly. he kisses you roughly, tongue licking into your mouth and making you gasp.

he moves between your hips slowly, kissing over your naked chest and licking over your nipples, pulling one into his mouth. you gasp and he smiles, moving to nip softly at your stomach.  "let me see how wet you made yourself thinking of me." he mutters, pulling your legs apart. you smack him in the back of the head in embarrassment and he just chuckles, "don't be like that, y/n/n. i just want to see if i can make you moan my name like that again." he mutters.

with that, he kisses over your clothed clit and you inhale sharply, looking down at him as he stares up at you. you turn red at the sight of stan in between your thighs, shirtless in his boxers with a smirk on his lips and hair tousled. "is this okay?" he asks and you nod desperately. he smiles to himself as he slides your underwear down your thighs, biting his lip.

he leans forward, licking a stripe up your heat and making you groan. he swirls his tongue around your clit and your hand immediately threads through his curls. his hands snake up to hold your waist as he starts to move his tongue, holding you down so you couldn't buck your hips. 

"stan." you whimper, back arching and yelping as he slips a finger inside you. he hums around your clit and your toes curl, gasping and whining as he pumps into you and curling it. his name falls out of your lips like a prayer and he's groaning into you.

"please, stan. i need you." you whimper and stan looks up, his lips shining. he grins at you as your chest rises and falls and he slips another finger inside you. he watches you as your face twists in pleasure and he leans up to kiss you hotly. "you have me, then." he mutters into the shell of your ear as he pulls back, fingers still pumping into you roughly as he palms himself.

you moan as he pulls his fingers out of you and you sit up eagerly, pushing his shoulders lightly so he's sitting as you straddle him, his boxers discarded on the ground. you take his cock in your hand, biting your lips as you realize how fucking big he is. much bigger than expected.

he has a cocky grin on his features that you rarely ever see in every day life - but one which has shown up frequently in the last thirty minutes. you roll your eyes, "don't give me that look, uris." you say as you pump him slowly. "i'll look at you however i want." he sasses, still smirking lightly as he pushes you back down. your eyes widen at his dominance and you moan when he crawls in between your legs and kisses you hard, taking your breath away.

you whimper as he teases his head against your entrance, rubbing you lightly. "please." you whisper against his lips. he huffs lightly, "speak up, baby." he says, making you scowl. "god, you're so annoying." you say, your face red. 

he laughs, still rubbing his cock against your clit and making you groan in need. "c'mon, you can do it." he whispers against your lips.

it's so hot, the way that stan talks to you like this, your best friend....

"please fuck me, stan." you whimper, your hands around his shoulders squeezing. he chuckles, "that wasn't so hard, was it baby?" he says, winking at you. you don't have time to respond though as he pushes his cock inside you, making you gasp and rake your nails down his back. 

he stills once he's buried to the hilt, kissing you as he waits for you to adjust to his size. after a few moments, he moves his hips against you, fingers rising up to tease your nipples as he starts to fuck into you. you can't speak as he fucks into you, shocked with bliss and surprise that this is happening.

he tuts. "suddenly so shy. you weren't so quiet when i wasn't in the room." stan mutters as he fucks into you, his thin necklace chain glinting by the light of your lamp. your cheeks heat up again, completely shocked that stan, the boy who loves bird watching, could say things like this. 

it's incredibly hot.

"stan, oh my god." you whimper as he hits deep inside of you, your toes curling as he pulls your hips closer and up off the bed. "you like how i make you feel?" he mutters, sucking a mark into your neck. "yes, please don't stop." you whimper, loving how he fills you up. he's hitting deep into you and you can't stop whimpering.

"so good, baby. you touch yourself and think of me, huh?" he mutters and you whimper, nodding as he fucks you into your mattress, his finger snaking down to rub your clit. your eyebrows scrunch in pleasure, moving your hips with his in time, chasing the pleasure you know is about to release in your body.

"fuck, y/n/n. love the sounds you make." he whispers into your ear, rubbing your clit in figure eights. you moan even louder because of his words, knowing you're about to cum. "stan, i- i'm gonna cum." you say quietly. he thrusts harder, hands squeezing your hip and thigh as he slams into you. he hums, "yeah you are, baby." he mutters and that pushes you over the edge. 

you clench on his cock as he rides you through your high, your voice whimpering and moaning loudly as he whispers the dirtiest words you've ever heard in your ear, thumb rubbing against your clit and making you clench your thighs around his waist. his thrusts become sloppy and with a, "fuck, y/n." he groans. you feel him spill inside you, stilling as he finishes. he kisses your neck, sucking lightly as he collapses next to you on the mattress and pulls out of you slowly.

 "holy shit, stan." you say breathlessly as he pulls you closer to him, your skin hot. you're breathing heavily as your bodies meld together, stan kissing your hairline softly. "y/n," he says, looking down at you. you look up at him, unsure about what's about to happen. he's running his hands up and down your bare back softly, giving you light goosebumps.

"i... uh, i really like you." he says with a blinding smile, his cheeks red. your eyes are wide again, "i like you too, stan. i- i think i made that pretty obvious." you say with a light giggle, nuzzling into his neck. he chuckles, arms wrapping tightly around you. 

you pull back to look at him as you realize something, "stan... i can't believe - you just pulled a full 180. what the fuck was that?" you laugh as you meet his eyes. 

he looks sheepish, "sorry." 

you shake your head with a smile, "that was... i liked it, a lot. who knew that you had a think for talkin-" he cuts off your words as he pinches your ass, chuckling into a kiss. he pulls you closer, hand smoothing over your side as you sigh, loving the feeling of him all over you. you break away from the kiss. "shut up, y/n." he says, kissing your head lightly.

its comfortably silent for a few moments. 

"by the way, i came over here to apologize." he mutters, and you look up at him. "oh, is that so?" you ask with a smirk and he rolls his eyes, "yeah, yeah. sorry that i was a dick earlier. i was... jealous." he mutters.

you almost laugh, "no! really? you?" you ask jokingly and he shoves you, taking his arms off of you. you laugh, rolling your eyes at the boy. 

"shut up." he mutters, kissing next to your ear. you laugh again lightly, sighing.

then he kisses your cheek and turns to starts to pull up his boxers. "where are you going?" you whine, slightly nervous he'll leave you. he shrugs and you watch his shoulders shake as he laughs. "we're getting ice cream, you asshole." he mutters.

you smile, shaking your head as your face flushes. what the fuck just happened?

[lightneverfades]

Frostiron Holiday Wishes Challenge ❆ 🎅🎄Master Post! 

Thank you to all those who’ve submitted a prompt/wish and lovely artwork/fics for these wishes! Here is a compiled list of all the prompt fills received! :D <3 

Requester: @kimmycup Wish (Prompt/Idea): Invasion fic where Tony figures out Loki was mind controlled before Loki does: "But I WAS in control. Thanos didn't control me like I did Clint." "Yeah sure. And if you wanted to take over the world, what would you do?" Loki spluttered, fully aware that plan was dumb. Still, he would KNOW if he were controlled... Right? "But I wasn't mind controlled! It was me!"

❆ Fill: By @worstloki Link: https://lightneverfades.tumblr.com/post/638613717830008832/

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Requester: @brianadoesart Wish (Prompt/Idea): Cupcake shop au!!!  One of our boys owns a cupcake shop and the other one is a FREQUENT visitor to said coffee shop. Lots of people think its because they have a sweet tooth, but they're just hopelessly in love with whichever one owns the shop.

❆ Fill: By @worstloki Link: https://lightneverfades.tumblr.com/post/638613402351239168/

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Requester: @snarkyship Wish (Prompt/Idea): Human/no powers AU. Sort-of-enemies to friends to lovers.Tony rents this house/bungalow by the sea for the summer, with a kind of private beach where there is also a cute gazebo. Only that the gazebo is exactly halfway with the other property (by some mistake?). And the tenant of the neighbour bungalow is Loki, who's not so keen on sharing. So Loki&Tony will start a "war" to gain possession of the gazebo, doing their worst using the excuse of "this is my half, I can use it as I want". ((Optional: there is a table right in the middle, so at the beginning they sit at their own side glaring at each other, before starting deploying more convoluted tactics)).Mischief after mischief, they will start to know each other and of course everything will end with one of them inviting the other to their half for a romantic dinner and they'll end up sharing more than the gazebo <3((I hope it's enough clear and but also not too detailed??))

❆ Fill: By @worstloki Link: https://lightneverfades.tumblr.com/post/638612819398606848/

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Requester: @loufeysson​​ Wish (Prompt/Idea): Hi! my prompt is teenage Tony and android Loki in a futuristic universe (in the style of Black Mirror, maybe?) 🥺👉🏼👈🏼 Thank you!

❆ Fill: By @lightneverfades (yours truly haha!) Link: https://lightneverfades.tumblr.com/post/638487122698010624/

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Requester: @lightneverfades​  Wish (Prompt/Idea): Loki is a yoga instructor and one day Tony goes to one of his classes and finds out the best positions to ‘relax’ - body, mind and soul >:D. (I love puns, so go crazy hahaha!) 

❆ Fill: By @snarkyship​  Link: https://snarkyship.tumblr.com/post/638415118181580800/

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Requester: @martiszcz​ Wish (Prompt/Idea): Someone is trying to break them up by making Loki jealous, mentioning Tony's playboy years, talking about the time they slept with Tony, talking about how much time he spends with some friend (Pepper, Rhodey, I don't care who) but Loki doesn't react - they trust each other.

❆ Fill: By @snarkyship​ Link: https://lightneverfades.tumblr.com/post/638434199159865344/

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Requester: Nivael * Wish (Prompt/Idea): Loki and Tony are in an established relationship. Things go great, but Loki is still unaccepting of his Jotun heritage and body. While Tony is completely fascinated by it, partly because Loki tries to hide it so hard. So he gets a fancy magical gadget from Strange (amulet, bracelet,...?) to be able to avoid frostbite so he can touch Loki even when he's in his Jotun form. Then there will be smut! :D

❆ Fill: By @snarkyship​ Link: https://lightneverfades.tumblr.com/post/638434042873872384

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Requester: @loufeysson​​ Wish (Prompt/Idea): Hi! my prompt is teenage Tony and android Loki in a futuristic universe (in the style of Black Mirror, maybe?) 🥺👉🏼👈🏼 Thank you!

❆ Fill: By @snarkyship​ Link: https://lightneverfades.tumblr.com/post/638433959345274880/

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Requester: @arandomsewer​   Wish (Prompt/Idea): I just want him to live on and being supported by his Friends and his brother recognizing him, that's basically the prompt. Tho here's the details of the Idea I had: Loki is living at the tower with the others (of course) too proud to say out loud how much he likes life on earth... The usual.Something happens and suddenly the magic that made him look Asgardian is just not working anymore. Understandably, he freaks out. Im talking hides in his room, crying, anger, hate, on himself and others... The whole lot, he just throws a major fit.The others know him and kind of understand and are patient... But it’s not getting fixed. Days pass, and he's stuck like this. After a while Tony snaps him out of It, and he slowly calms down and starts learning to accept this side of himself. It’s specially strange to him how he can just walk in a room and no one treats him different. How the others are even fascinated by this form. I expect Thor being shocked and curious and snapped at and reminded how he (and his people on general) have been unfair to Loki... And of course, there's the romance with Tony, Who loves him in all his forms (and they fit together 'cause he's kinky and Loki a shapeshifter)Also imagine Loki being terrified of touching Tony and then finding out he's cold to the touch but not actually dangerous (my headcanon: he's the son of Hella. Half giant and half Asgardian, and the actual heir... But that's for another fic)

❆ Fill: By @snarkyship​ Link: https://lightneverfades.tumblr.com/post/638433872244326400/

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Requester: @kimmycup​ Wish (Prompt/Idea): Loki in Tony's MIT sweatshirt.

❆ Fill: By @snarkyship​ Link: https://lightneverfades.tumblr.com/post/638403067804598272/

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Requester: @worstloki​ Wish (Prompt/Idea): Tony and Loki both having panic attacks at the same time. just make it wild. whatever the reasons are, maybe it's the same reason? maybe they have shared triggers? maybe it's separate reasons? maybe the other avengers are around and don't realize the incoming attacks and keep bringing up bad memories? maybe one of them notices the other is freaking out and defends them? maybe drags them away only to also start having a panic attack? whatever. they're both freaking out and just kinda do that. they then bond over it. (this can be crack or angsty I don't mind)

❆ Fill: By @snarkyship​ Link: https://lightneverfades.tumblr.com/post/638402945408499712/

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Requester: @shinindragon​ Wish (Prompt/Idea): The Avengers + Loki fight a villain. Loki uses a lot of his magic, eventually almost draining his energy completely when he protects Tony from getting hurt. When the battle is over, they return to the tower, all of them exhausted. Tony notices Loki doesn't look well, he asks if he's okay. Loki barely gets a word out before he collapses into Tony's arms, unconscious. Thor carries Loki to Tony's and his bedroom, explaining to Tony that he'll be alright, it's just exhaustion from an excessive use of magic. Tony stays with Loki, taking care of him. Fluff and with a sprinkle of angst. 

❆ Fill: By @snarkyship​ Link: https://lightneverfades.tumblr.com/post/638402848705675264

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Requester: @blancoluna​ Wish (Prompt/Idea): Basically Friga wonders where she went wrong, asks the Oracle and goes on a guilt trip realizing she messed up to Valhalla and back. The idea is, being a queen-godess of family, she should be able to do something about it, maybe traveling in time or something... And Loki's gonna need powerful allies and Friends, like the Avengers, for example Now the same, but with detail. This is the way I imagined It. Perhaps it’s too much drama? I just don't know how to tackle It or how to go from here:After everything that happened, Frigga wonders where she went wrong, not just with Loki, but with Thor who didn't appreciate his brother, Odín, who treated him unfairly and even the servants, Who didn't respect him.She wonders if she could have done anything, and the guilt wont let her sleep until she goes to the well of wisdom, the Oracle, to seek answers.She is warned the truth may be even more painful. She may not like the answer... But she goes in.It is way worse than she thought: in one second she is reminded of all the times she should have acted, and chose not to, and she sees how It affected her family.She could and should have done something, and she had plenty of time, but at every chance she chose not to. And its perhaps worse than what Odin did because she knew It was wrong but chose to do nothing about It.But even more: It is confirmed to her that not only Odín never gave Loki a chance: he didn't find him. He stole him from the temple where he was guarded. He is not just the son of Louffey, but also of Hella, and thus, the actual heir to the throne of Asgard.She was supposed to be the godess of family, and here she was, consumed by guilt and shame, by having followed blindly a King Who abused her children and betrayed his own heir, aside from many other crimes.But Frigga can't just spend the test of eternity crying. She must do something. She was raised by witches!!Will she manage to get her hands on the time Stone? Or Will she just travel to another dimension to warn a younger version of herself? Will this be the beginning of a new multiverse? The possibilities are endless, when the godess of family must avenge her child...But first: for him to have a better Life he would need support, allies... Friends. (Enter the Avengers)

Add-on: Frigga having this vision was just meant to be a one shot that would connect many different alternative stories, all with the 'what if Frigga did something for Loki' as a common base. All of them would be Frostiron 'cause I honestly believe they are just meant for one another! It is just so open to so many possibilities... That I never got to writing any of them.

One of the first ideas I had following this concept was of Frigga introducing Tony and Loki early on somehow: as kids they would be like 'imaginary friends' then Tony manages to contact him and they are webcam buds... As young adults, they would help each other go a different path than they did in other lives.... and when Loki needed help, he had allies to back him. (The Avengers, whom Tony may have introduced to him earlier)

❆ Fill: By @snarkyship​ Link: https://lightneverfades.tumblr.com/post/638402661807521793

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Requester: @brianadoesart​ Wish (Prompt/Idea): A.... Among Us au.......  Impostor Loki protecting his crewmate friend Tony from the other impostors.... I..... Tony and Loki as Among Us beans...

❆ Fill: By @snarkyship​ Link: https://lightneverfades.tumblr.com/post/638403011653353472/

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Requester: @kimmycup​  Wish (Prompt/Idea): Loki in Tony's MIT sweatshirt.

❆ Fill: By @shinindragon​ Link: https://lightneverfades.tumblr.com/post/638390052569907200

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Requester: @brianadoesart​ Wish (Prompt/Idea): A.... Among Us au.......  Impostor Loki protecting his crewmate friend Tony from the other impostors.... I..... Tony and Loki as Among Us beans...

❆ Fill: By @kimmycup​ Link: https://lightneverfades.tumblr.com/post/638390059063803904

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Requester: @brianadoesart​ Wish (Prompt/Idea): MERMAIDS. I like mermaids. Either a fic or art, but I just want more content of mer-Loki or mer-Tony.   I always enjoy versions where Loki is an underwater prince who falls in love with a stupid human inventor by the name of Tony. He's never been 100% happy in the palace with Thor and the others, so he often would go to the shore to watch the humans. He sees Tony working on the beach one day and becomes interested in him from there on. Basically a little mermaid type thing... I am easy to please. I just like mermaids.

❆ Fill: By @lightneverfades (yours truly haha!) Link: https://lightneverfades.tumblr.com/post/638511932186525696/

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Requester: @snarkyship​​ Wish (Prompt/Idea): Finally Tony has managed to locate Loki's whereabouts. And it turns out the godling lives in a pretty loft in Manhattan, with all the comforts and the most advanced midgardian technology ((lighting, temperature and everything controlled by a tablet - the Stark latest model!- , appliances linked to the wifi, and has that roomba a knife??)).Tony decides to have a little fun: who said Loki is the only one who can do a little mischief?? So he takes control over Loki's apartment hacking its system; he starts with some flickering lights, the roomba changing suddenly trajectory to stab him, then blasting music in the middle of the night and so on.And Loki would be so frustrated: at the beginning he thinks about some failure in the inferior midgardian technology, then he'll think to be under attack, but he can't feel any magic signature!! Maybe he'll freak out a little, because there is some kind of unknown entity??? ((And while he may be using all the technology without problems, it doesn't mean he fully understands its working)).Tony will have fun, but he also will discover some cute aspects of Loki's personality, like he sings to his plants and he likes to wear fuzzy socks ((ok it sounds voyeuristic, but Tony would respect part Loki's privacy, maybe he'll spy on him only when in the living room or kitchen)).((And maybe he would help Loki as well? Like, the godling had a nightmare after falling asleep on the couch, and Tony would gently woke him up with music))Loki will eventually understand that Stark, the most clever midgardian, was behind all of this, and well, he's the God of Mischief, he can appreciate a well planned trick. Time to return the favor ;)

❆ Fill: By @lightneverfades (yours truly haha!) Link: https://lightneverfades.tumblr.com/post/638390071764074496/

[broadwaycantdie]

National Best Friends Day! - Newsies (Pride) Month . Day 8

( albert & race ) + ( modernish )

a/n: the best buds which also remind me a lot of me and my best bud so that’s why i picked them :)

it says “modernish” cause im talking about the past but it’s the future (?) like it starts in the past as in the early 2000’s and goes up until today

warnings: none

background: Albert and Race have been friends since kindergarten. They lived in the same neighborhood and were the best of friends. This is how it started as well as how it went throughout the years.

——————————————————————————

the first day of kindergarten race walked right up to albert who was engaged in looking at the class pet—a lizard—and introduced himself

race asked him to be his best friend and he said yes and he’s kept that promise ever since

their elementary school years consisted of chasing each other around the playground, playing with pokémon cards, riding in the back of each other’s mom’s mini vans, trading happy meal toys, and always going back inside just in time for dinner

as kids they would bike to each other’s house every day, alternating who went to whose house

then they went to middle school

the same middle school, luckily

all throughout elementary school they were in the same class

somehow it just worked out like that

but 6th grade was all different

this was the first time they had separate classes

but luckily by this time they were close enough to not let a thing like that drift them apart

they might not have had every class together

but the ones they did have were wild

god help their teachers

6th grade they shared english, gym, and math

which was great for them

they both struggled in english so they used that class to make jokes and fool around

math was great for race

he’s always been a math wiz

so he let albert copy helped albert with his work

gym was where they SHINED

these boys have always been athletic and competitive

when they were on a team together, they were the dynamic duo who could communicate without words

when they were against each other it was war...friendly war, but war

they went through 7th and 8th grade similarly, growing and changing but keeping their friendship a priority

they spent those days hanging in skateparks, drinking slurpees till their heads went numb, making mixtapes, playing street sports, and going to each other’s houses to watch music videos on youtube

then

high school started

everything changed in high school

albert got a spot on the hockey team

race became a mathlete

and they lived two very different lives

but that didn’t stop them from being best friends

absolutely nothing could do that

they just had to work harder to spend time together

they had two classes together freshman year

biology—which made dissections interesting—and gym again—which was always great for them, not much others though

sophomore year came and went

race failed his drivers test 6 times so at that point he just gave up

albert got his license first try

so he just drove them both to and from school everyday

which means race spends a lot of time watching him at practice

the matheletes only meet once a week

hockey practice is everyday

but he doesn’t mind that much

he uses that time to practice equations or catch up on homework or just dick around

they spent their first two years hanging out at shops in walking distance of the school, albert teaching race how to play hockey, tutoring at the local library, and falling asleep during movies from school exhaustion

junior year was crazy

they built up a pretty large friend group

but they still kept it close as homies

exams, college, pressure, games, tournaments

everything was crazy

they kept each other going though

by time the ACT roled around they had already been slowly studying for months

they were still both struggling in english

but race helped albert with his math

this time more than just letting him copy

race actually ended up getting a perfect score in math but not much else

and albert finished!

which was a victory in his mind since he fell asleep 5 times

they applied to colleges together

and scholarships

so so so many scholarships

they wanted to pay as little as possible

albert even considered selling an organ to pay for classes

but they just had to do what was needed to be done

they both applied to the same college as to not be separated

and cause it was cheap and they both liked it

they spent that summer driving around the countryside, working at the same restaurant, getting sunburnt at the beach, waiting for acceptance letters, and missing their childhood

senior year was the best and worst year of their lives

they took the easiest possible classes

besides race’s math class cause he’s a genius and a nerd

but other than that they took every basic class and dropped as many as possible

they got free periods, “easy a” electives, and ended up having most of their classes together

they actually had every class together except for one—the period race had math

a miracle by all means

but they didn’t question it

they just quietly thanked whoever was out there and moved on

when they got letters from the only college they applied for they waited to open them together

they screamed when they found out they both got in

and immediately started planning out how their dorms would be set up and what they wanted

albert was now team captain and made it to state with his hockey team

race went on to nationals with the matheletes

they both won their respective events

scholarships rolled in left and right

by time graduation rolled around albert had a full ride on a hockey scholarship and race got huge help from his time in the matheletes and collectively with the rest of his scholarships got nearly a full ride, only having to pay a hundred dollars in total

the day they graduated was so emotional

this was it

they spent every year in school together for the past 13 years and now it was about to be over

after they walked across stage and out the doors of the convention center, they hugged

they hugged so tight for a really long time

neither of them will admit that they cried

but they both did

this wasn’t the end of their friendship

just the end of an era

an era that included staying up late, making jokes no one would understand, signing yearbooks with messages that would be treasured forever, sharing new music, crying from stress, hockey games, varsity quiz competitions, playing video games, breaking albert’s car speakers from playing music too loud, getting mcdonald’s happy meal toys no matter what age they hit, countless birthdays and holidays, gifts that meant so much more than money, and memories they would carry with them until they were dead

but most importantly

the best friendship two guys could ask for

again

this wasn’t the end

it was just the beginning

now they had their whole lives ahead of them

and they were never going to slow down

their real lives were just starting

and they wouldn’t want to go through it with anyone else

[madpanda75]

“Happy Birthday Babies!” Part of Hostage Series

The reader FINALLY gives birth to the twins!

I have to say, I re-did this story so many times. I just couldn’t decide what to do with it (should I make it fluffy? Dramatic?) so I’m worried that it’s not my best work and for that I apologize. ❤️

It was a scorching hot summer day. The air conditioner and extra fans you had brought into the living room drowned out the sound of the morning news show playing in the background while you sat on the couch opening a baby gift. “Oh my God!!!” You shrieked. “Rafael! Look!!!”

You heard footsteps rushing down the stairs, your husband nearly tripping over his own feet as he ran into the living room. “What!? What is it?! Is it time?”

“No, it’s not that. Look at these cute baby suspenders my friend got for the twins!” You held up two pairs of matching pink and blue suspenders.

Rafael let out a sigh of relief, clutching his chest, “Cariño, you scared me. I thought you were in labor.”

“Sorry, babe. I just got excited. Aren’t they cute, though? Now the twins will be just like their Papi,” you cooed.

“Adorable,” he smiled and sat next to you on the couch. “Are you sure you’re going to be ok today?”

“Don’t worry about us. We’ll be fine,” you rubbed your protruding belly. Although you had wanted to work up until your due date, you were exhausted, uncomfortable and it was becoming increasingly difficult to get around. At your doctor’s request, you had been put on modified bed rest for the past week.

“I’m just saying, I can work from home today if you need me.”

You narrowed your eyes at your husband. “Rafael, I don’t like people hovering over me. Get out while you can,” you teased, looking down at your stomach. “After these two come, you’ll be stuck at home for six weeks.”

He leaned down to kiss your belly twice before placing a kiss on your lips, “You know I never feel stuck with you. I can’t wait to be home with these little ones.”

“I know, sweetie.” You ran your fingers through this hair and straightened his tie when Mila walked into the room. You bit back a laugh when you saw your daughter. She had placed a pillow under her t-shirt and was cradling her faux baby bump.

“I’m on bed rest too!” She sighed, collapsing onto the couch next to you.

Rafael chuckled, “Ok, I’ll leave you ladies to it.” He kissed you and Mila before getting up to finish getting ready for work.

You walked into your bedroom as the sun began to dip below the horizon. Your day had been spent, folding baby clothes, spending some quality mommy-daughter time with Mila. Sitting on your bed, you felt a cramp radiate from your lower back. You had been experiencing Braxton Hicks contractions sporadically the past week, but today they were becoming more frequent. Your whole body tensed. You closed your eyes and let out a deep breath.

“Mommy, ok?” Mila asked, climbing onto your bed.

“I’m fine, baby.” You ran your fingers through her curls. “Do you want to watch a movie before dinner?”

“Yeah!” She jumped out of bed and grabbed a movie, choosing your wedding DVD. She had recently discovered it when you moved into your new apartment. The little girl loved watching her parents, seeing all of her family dance around at the reception, to her it looked like a real life fairytale. Mila snuggled up to your side as you started the movie. “Mommy, you look like a princess!” She said when you came onto the screen.

“Thank you, mi amor. Someday, that’s going to be you and Papi is going to walk you down the aisle,” you kissed the top of her head, watching the movie as Rafael appeared on the screen.

He had tears in his eyes and the biggest, brightest smile as he watched you walk down the aisle towards him. You smiled back, practically running into his arms when you came up to the altar. The four horsemen of the apocalypse could have galloped into that church but neither of you would have noticed, all you could focus on was each other.

Mila was sound asleep, laying on your leg, by the time you and Rafael had your first dance. You didn’t have the heart to move her. Your eyes became shiny with tears watching you and your husband sway on the dance floor. With all the chaos that life brought, the everyday mundane tasks, the exhaustion of being a parent, watching your wedding movie was a nice reminder of the love you and Rafael had for each other and the life you had created out of that love.

As if on cue, your husband came into the bedroom, a smile tugged at his lips when he saw what you were watching. “That was a great day,” he softly said.

“It really was,” you reached out for your him. He took your hand, placing a kiss on your palm and sat next to you.

Winding his arm around your shoulders, he kissed you deeply. “I love you,” he whispered against your lips.

“I love you too,” you pulled him closer, returning the kiss when you felt a sharp cramp again. You gasped and clutched your stomach.

Rafael knitted his brows in concern, “Y/N? Are you ok?”

Before you could even respond, you felt a pop followed by a trickle of water, a wet spot forming on the crotch of your leggings. “Raf, my water just broke.”

Ten minutes after you made your announcement, you were sitting in the passenger seat of the car. Rafael sped towards the hospital, one hand on the steering wheel, the other holding yours as you breathed through your contractions.

“My mom is going to meet us at the hospital and pick up Mila,” he said, trying to keep calm.

You nodded your head, doubling over and groaning in pain when a particularly intense contraction hit.

“Mommy? Is it time for babies?” Mila asked from the backseat.

You looked back at your daughter, “Si, muñequita, the babies are coming. You’re going to be a big sister.”

A nurse brought over a wheelchair when you arrived at the hospital. “Wait right here, we’ll get a room ready for you,” she said.

“Ohhh ow ow! Oh God!” You winced and held your stomach.

“Mommy, I kiss your boo boo and make it all better,” Mila bent down to kiss your stomach. “It didn’t work,” she mumbled when she saw you were still in pain.

“Breathe, mi amor,” Rafael began to breathe deeply, encouraging you to follow his pattern. You mimicked his breathing even Mila joined in, the three of you inhaling and exhaling when his phone began to buzz. “That’s my mom,” he replied. “Come on, Mila. Let’s go see abuela.”

Your daughter vehemently shook her head and clutched your arm, “No! I’m scared! Wanna stay with you and Mommy.”

You breathed through another contraction and cupped your daughter’s face, trying not to show her how much pain you were in. “Sweetie, I need you to be Mommy’s brave girl and go to abuela. I’m going to see you later, ok?”

“Pinky Promise?” She looked up at you with big green eyes.

“Of course, amorcita.” You kissed her cheeks and locked your pinky with hers before Rafael took her to Lucia.

As you were waiting for Rafael to come back, another wheelchair was brought next to you. Your eyes widened in surprise when you recognized the woman. “Rita?! What are you doing here?”

“What does it look like I’m doing here? Handing out lollipops!” She clutched her swollen stomach in pain. “Oh God, it feels like I’m shitting out of my vagina, get this child out of me NOW!”

“Congratulations, counselor. Is it Buchanan’s? I didn’t know you two were still an item.”

“Well wonders never cease, detective. I hope this baby doesn’t have as big a head as he does or I’m in trouble,” she growled as a nurse wheeled her away.

Rafael came back and placed a hand on your shoulder, his eyes following the woman screaming in pain being led into the maternity ward. “Was that Rita?”

“Yep. A Buchanan/Calhoun baby, that kid is going to rule the world-”

“Or destroy it,” he added.

You gasped in pain, digging your nails into your husband’s arm, “This is a bad one.” Finally a nurse led you down the hall to your room. Rafael walked beside you, squeezing your hand, unable to stop the excitement he felt at meeting the twins.

By the time you were taken to the room and had your vitals checked, your labor had progressed significantly. You were hooked up to a fetal monitor so the doctor could watch the twins’ heartbeats and follow your contractions.

Rafael was an incredible coach. He was patient and gentle, rubbing your back in soothing circles, wiping the sweat off your brow, all while telling you how amazing you were. When Mila was born he didn’t get the chance to support you through your labor and he was determined to make up for it.

You let out a long low groan, squeezing your husband’s hand so tight, his fingers were practically purple. “Fuck, I forgot how much this hurts!”

The contractions were becoming more intense and closer together. “Breathe, Y/N,” Rafael pushed your hair back, inhaling and exhaling with you. “Are you sure you don’t want an epidural?”

You shook your head, “No, I went without meds for Mila. I can do it again. I just wish these two would hurry up.” You placed your hands on your stomach, silently willing your body to give birth already. “Babe, can you get me more ice chips. I want to take advantage before my next contraction hits.”

“Of course, cariño.” He brought you ice chips just when you were hit with a particular bad contraction. You sobbed in pain, clutching onto him as your only source of comfort. “You’re doing great. I’m right here,” he rested his forehead against yours, holding you close.

“How are we feeling?” The doctor asked when she entered the room, entirely too perky for you at that moment.

“In excruciating pain,” you gritted your teeth, whining through a contraction.

She checked the fetal monitor before turning to you, her expression serious, “Mr. and Mrs. Barba, I’m afraid that the monitor is showing some signs of fetal distress.

“Fetal distress. What does that mean?” Rafael asked.

“It means Baby B’s heart rate is dropping. Most likely due to pressure on the umbilical cord. We’re going to give you oxygen and have you lay on your left side, to take the pressure off your major blood vessels. If the heart rate doesn’t pick up, I advise that we do a c-section.” She saw the frightened look on your face and gave you a reassuring smile, “Don’t worry, Mrs. Barba. We’re going to take good care of you and your babies.”

A nurse helped to position your body and provided you an oxygen mask. Tears pricked the corner of your eyes as you breathed deeply into the mask, groaning with every intense contraction. “Raf, I’m scared. I need you.”

Rafael held your hand and cradled your stomach with the other. “Everything will be fine. I’ll be by your side the whole time, I promise,” he whispered.

The baby’s heart rate didn’t come back up and you were quickly being wheeled away into surgery. A nurse stopped Rafael when you reached the operating room, handing him scrubs to change into. You panicked when you lost his grip and reached out for him, “Rafael!?”

“I’ll be right there, honey,” he called out after you. He changed as quickly as possible while the doctor was preparing you for surgery.

You laid on the table, watching as they put up the divider sheet, tears pooling in your eyes. Rafael came into the room and sat by your side. His face half covered by a surgical mask. If it wasn’t for his green eyes, you wouldn’t have recognized him.

“Rafi,” you whimpered, your body shaking from a combination of adrenaline and the spinal anesthesia.  

“Shhhh, it’s ok. Rory and Ben are going to be here real soon.” He wiped the tears from your eyes as you listened to the doctor tell you what she was going to do. “I wonder who the twins will look like.” He said, trying to take your mind off the fact that your stomach was being sliced open.

You closed your eyes, trying to envision your children, “I bet they’ll have your eyes. Those Barba genes are strong plus you have the most beautiful eyes. They were the first thing I noticed about you.”

“Just as long as they have your smile. It lights up a room,” he gently stroked your cheek.

You opened your eyes and smiled as you met your husband’s gaze. Letting out a shaky breath, you felt pressure and a firm tug followed by a baby’s cry. “Here’s your baby boy,” the doctor held up a tiny pink squirming baby, crying at the top of his lungs.

The corners of Rafael’s eyes crinkled from above his mask as he smiled, his eyes glossy with tears, he rested his forehead against your temple while you both listened to the cries of your child. “We have a son,” he softly said.

A nurse smiled brightly and placed the infant in your husband’s arms. He leaned closer to you, holding the baby up to your face, his tiny fist brushing up against your cheek. “Benjamin, my beautiful baby boy.” You whispered, tears streaming down your face.

“He’s perfect,” Rafael said, unable to stop his own tears from flowing.

Seconds later, you choked out a sob, when you heard the cries of your second child, a little baby girl. The baby wailed, her eyes closed, fists shaking, unhappy to be ripped from her warm cocoon.

“Shhhh, it’s ok my darling, Mommy’s here,” you cooed as the nurse placed the baby girl in your husband’s arms. “Aurora, my sweet little angel. They’re so perfect.”

“They’re beautiful,” Rafael smiled down at the babies balanced in his arms. His heart swelled at the sound of his children’s cries, until it shattered into a million pieces. He felt as if he was being reborn, experiencing a love that compared to nothing else on this earth. It was the same love he encountered when he first held Mila. All the accolades he had achieved in his life, paled in comparison to that precious perfect moment when he saw his children come into this world.

Two nurses took the babies so they could be weighed and measured. Rafael refused to leave until you were stitched up. “You were amazing. I’m so proud of you, mi amor,” he whispered. “I love you so much.”

“I love you too.” You leaned into his touch, happy and relieved to have brought two healthy babies into this world with the love of your life by your side.

While Rafael went to get Mila, you were wheeled into recovery. Aurora and Benjamin laid on your chest, fast asleep, holding onto each other’s hand. Aurora yawned in her sleep, snuggling closer to her brother. Your heart just about burst. How could a yawn be so cute?

After having Mila, you didn’t think it was possible to love more, to love harder. You didn’t think your heart had any more room. Oh how wrong you were. A wave of absolute euphoria washed over you, looking down at the two little lives that you had grown and nourished with your body for the past nine months. An intense love poured out of you, creating an invisible line that connected your heart to those of your children, forming a fierce and unbreakable bond.

You gently kissed the tops of their heads and inhaled their sweet scent, admiring their tiny features. Both babies had heads full of dark hair, perfect pink pouts, and chubby cherub cheeks. “Look at all that hair, no wonder you guys gave me so much heartburn,” you mused.

Rafael poked his head through the door, “Honey, I brought someone who wants to see you.” He led Mila into the room. She was wearing her “Big Sister” t-shirt, carrying two little teddy bears for the twins.

“Mommy!!!” She shouted and ran towards you.

Rafael picked her up and placed her on the bed. “Be gentle, muñequita.”

“Hi my sweet girl! I missed you!” You exclaimed, handing one of the babies over to Rafael so you could hug your daughter with your free arm. She looked so big compared to the twins. You couldn’t believe how fast your little girl was growing. Time truly did fly by

“I miss you too!” She leaned forward to gaze at the tiny bundle in your arms, her eyes widening, a big smile firmly planted on her face. “Hi baby!”

“Mila, this is your baby brother, Benjamin.” You held the infant closer for her to see as Rafael sat on the other side of the bed with your little baby girl. “And Papi is holding your baby sister, Aurora.”

Mila looked between the two babies, “They so tiny. Like my dolls.” She exclaimed. “Can I hold them? Peez!”

“Ok, sweetie, but be careful,” you put a pillow on Mila’s lap before gently placing Benjamin in her arms, keeping your hands under hers to help support the baby. “Put your hand under his neck, mija.”

“You cute baby,” Mila said. “I got you a teddy bear.” The little boy stared up at his big sister, opening and closing his mouth several times before scrunching his face up, letting out a little sneeze. “Bless you!” She giggled, giving him a kiss on the forehead.

Watching your oldest child hold her sibling, you couldn’t help the tears forming in your eyes. You locked eyes with your husband to see that he was crying too. “I love you,” he silently mouthed.

“I love you too,” you mouthed back.

Your hospital room was packed with visitors. The squad, your parents, Carmen, and Lucia all came to see the new Barba babies, even Mrs. Rojas stopped by. The twins were passed from person to person, everyone “oohing” and “awwing” over the bundles of joy.

“Hiya gorgeous,” Sonny cooed, cradling Aurora in his arms. “You look just like your mommy.”

“Ok, Carisi, it’s my turn. Quit hogging the baby,” Olivia teased as he handed the infant over to her. “Hi Rory, you’re so precious,” she smiled and softly stroked her cheek. The tiny baby stretched her limbs, wiggling in the woman’s arms. “Y/N, she really does look like you.”

“And Ben looks just like his Papi,”  Lucia said as the little boy wrapped his hand around his abuela’s finger. “Dios Mio! Que lindo! I feel like I’ve gone back in time holding this handsome boy!” She placed Benjamin upright on her chest, gently bouncing him up and down.

You could’ve sworn you saw Fin wipe away a stray tear when you asked him to be the babies’ godfather. While Amanda and Carmen were overjoyed when you asked if they would be godmothers to the twins.

Amid the excitement, a nurse came in to check on you and the babies. “Five more minutes and then visiting hours are over,” she announced.

“Would you mind taking a picture of us?” You asked, handing her your phone.

“Ok, and then everyone needs to leave. Mommy, Daddy, and babies need their rest.”

Everyone gathered around for the photo. You smiled so hard your cheeks hurt. Your son lay in your arms while Rafael held your daughter with Mila sitting between you both. The love you felt surrounded by your family and friends was overwhelming. For years to come, the picture taken from that day would hang in your house, a moment frozen in time that you would remember for the rest of your life.

You were exhausted by the end of the day. Laying in bed with Rafael, you rested your head on your husband’s shoulder while he was finishing up a crossword puzzle from The New York Times. He was spending the night at the hospital with you and the twins.

“Hole,” you said, glancing down at his puzzle.

He peered at you from above his reading glasses, “Excuse me?”

“32 across, evidence left by a moth. The answer is “hole.”

“I would have gotten that,” he mumbled, nudging your shoulder.

“Not with the answer you put for 25 down,” you quipped.

He playfully tapped you on the head with the newspaper before tossing it aside along with his glasses. Rubbing his face with his hands, he let out a long breath. Although not nearly as tired as you were, it had been a long day for the ADA.

“By the way...you looked sexy in those scrubs they made you wear earlier,” you smirked. “If I hadn’t just given birth, I would ask you to play doctor with me.”

Rafael chuckled, “I beg your pardon, but are you hitting on me?”

“Damn right, I am.” You kissed his jawline, his scruff tickling your lips.

He quirked an eyebrow at you, “May I remind you that I’m a happily married man with three kids and a smoking hot wife.”

“She won’t mind, she told me so herself,” you teased.

He laughed and wrapped his arm around your shoulder as you nuzzled against his chest. “What a day,” he softly said.

“I know...one of the best days of my life,” you yawned, your eyelids feeling heavy.

Rafael looked over at the twins sleeping soundly in their bassinets next to the bed. “I can’t believe they’re actually here, that we made these two perfect little humans.”

You softly snored in response, already fast asleep. He smiled at you, stroking your cheek and kissing your forehead. “You gave me the most beautiful babies, mi amor,” he whispered before gently getting out of your bed. He slept on a cot next to you, never leaving your side, just like he had promised.

@obfuscateyummy @beltzboys2015-blog @letty-o @sweetsummertime99 @sonnysdoll @lyssa1385 @burningsorr0ws @katmstanton @gibbs274 @izzythefanfreak @southern-magnolia @riodallas @eclecticminded @delia26 @glimmerglittergirl @sweetcannolicarisi @babypink224221 @amirightcounsellor

[babyboyoonie]

you don't have to do this but I have a request for yoongi x ot6 about 'what min yoongi wants, min yoongi gets' , you really don't have to do this so you can just ignore my ask or whatever >,

I know I don’t have to but being able to make you happy even if it’s only a lil bit is all that matters. D-do be more specific next time with your requests lovelies, I spend a lot of time wondering just what the hell im going to write and…yeah…👉🏾👈🏾 AnywAY Here you go! ˚‧*♡ॢ˃̶̤̀◡˂̶̤́♡ॢ*‧˚

Time’s kind of a concept when Yoongi dozes off, curled over Jin’s chest like a content kitten. When cracking jokes and complimenting his boy isn’t one of the options, Jin loses himself in just—just enjoying. Buzzing with tenderness. He doesn’t know when, but at one point, an hour or two after stumbling upon the darling man, he does remember the matter that had him puzzled for hours now. “Say, Yoongicchi,” it comes out softer than he intended to, sort of like a hush; rumbling whisper. Yoongi doesn’t waste time into giving him his attention, eyes slightly widened up. Curious. “What did you do?”

The man looks genuinely confused. Head tilted and eyebrows briefly furrowing as he licks at the tips of his fingertips. Remains of the sugar his strawberries left behind. Jin follows the movements and tries not to be too distracted. It’s a fail. Watching Yoongi is like going off the deep end and being fine drowning here and there. There’s a light, feathery tap of a finger on his chest, thoughtful. “What do you mean?”

“Getting our managers to give us all this—all this free time.”

It’s not that Jin doesn’t like performing, doesn’t like their heavy agenda. But, ah, see, even he gets tired sometimes. This sudden announcement had been surprising, but desperately welcome. Jin wasn’t a fool, only one person could have brung forth this change.

Said person shrugs, a little pout on his lips. “Don’t you do that all the time? Saying no to the managers and literally everyone?”

“I do it to flex on the company and remind them I own all their ass. But you asked that for, for all of us. It’s huge.”

Yoongi huffs. Would have tapped his feet on the floor hadn’t they been curled under him in something that shouldn’t be as comfortable as he made it to be. “Why wouldn’t I get my way? I’m always good, they better say yes to everything I ask them.”

It’s not haughty. Simple. The sky is up there, violets are blue kind of facts. Airy, pretty, definitely not arrogant.

Jin can’t help himself though—“Brat,”

“No,” Yoongi hisses immediately. He presses his lips together, an upset glint in the glaze of his eyes. Guilts stabs at Jin’s heart as quick as thunder does. “I’m good, hyung. I just like things done the way I feel is the best, it’s not—I’m not—“

He doesn’t finish his sentence, lets it crumble to the wind as he waves his hand, lost. Starts to retreat, away from Jin’s body, and that—that just won’t do.

Ignoring the half resistance Yoongi presented isn’t that difficult. The man melts into his arms like butter to ambient air. Presses his face into his chin and stubbornly refuses to move, little body relaxing at the pet gifted to his head. “That’s right, that’s right,” Jin whispers, soothing. “I’m sorry. You’re a good boy. So good, you always get what you want, and I’m so proud.”

Further melting. Warm hands grabbing at his shirt. “Mhm…”

“…Wanna go fishing?”

Soundless gasp. Yoongi nods vigorously, the bowl of strawberry forgotten as he fully climbs into Jin’s lap to hug him tight. So tight. Cherry summer taste and gummy bear embrace. “I was, I was thinking about it just before you arrived,” the man admits, soft breeze.

Jin ruffles his head, fondness dripping from his heart like honey. Only warmer. So far gone. “All you need to do is ask.”

And you’ll get.

Yoongi, he…he struts into appearance. Or slinks. Saunters. Just…he’s silent, purposeful, efficient and terribly adorable. Doesn’t make any noises, you’d be alone at one point; and a second later, the air would change and Yoongi would be here. Ambling quietly toward whichever blessed direction he chose. No movements wasted. Hoseok’s thumbing aimlessly at his phone when the pillows on the couch rustle by his side. Then his side’s warm, warm with the light weight of Yoongi’s head on his shoulders. The rest of his body curled on the couch, previously held between the loop he created with his arms. Hands joined together around his bent knees, he’s appeared, just like that, and Hoseok already knows his heart will ache the instant Yoongi ambles away again.

“Seokseok-ah….”

His voice’s soft. Candy soft, cloud soft. The kind of soft that mingles with you when you wake up in the morning and you feel good. Unexpectedly so. It’s cute, kind of whiny somewhere—the notes of it a kind reminder that he’s going to ask something. It’s soft, kind of whiny, Hoseok observes again; and in this instant, he could give Yoongi the world. It’s violent, surprising, and Hoseok he…he panics.

“D-don’t look at me,” he blurts out, silver quick, knocking your knee on the table quick. Surprising and painful. He’s an idiot.

Managing—ah, no…getting through the soft riddle that is Yoongi isn’t difficult for Hoseok. Easier than with any other member. Exchanging and existing together in that strange bubble of theirs is like, like going back to sleep, without a second thought, pleasantly aware that you’re safe. Hoseok’s weak. Has always been weak to Yoongi. Tries, to a fault, to not fall further; not get weaker, lest he won’t be able to refuse anything to Yoongi.

But he’s a fool. Such a fool. The little being curled under his arm, that makes hearts beat and Hoseok’s flirt with thunder, has already got him. Soul and mind and heart. Hoseok’s an idiot.

Yoongi stares. Evading his gaze is an impossible task. Hoseok rips his eyes away from his phone, reluctant, heart of leed sinking further at the sight of Yoongi’s scowl. “What’re you on? I just wanted to ask you something?”

Whiny. Oh Lord, look at this, Hoseok’s dying. And Yoongi’s whiny, touches of confusion dancing with his complaint; tugging at Hoseok’s shirt immediately, and he gets closer, and he smells so goddamn good. Hoseok’s palms are damp as fuck, he wipes them hurriedly and tries to not think of the delicate hold Yoongi has on him. So soft. Those, those gorgeous fingers of his…

He could give him the world on a silver platter. Anything. It’s a troubling thought; one that has him clearing his throat and trying hard to not get on his knees and propose right here and there. It’s a troubling thought. One that makes him say the dumbest things. “That’s why I don’t want you looking at me!”

It,

sounds wrong.

He wants—wants to take back his words the moment he blurts them out. But his heart’s beating, beating cold. Because Yoongi lets his shirt go. That little warmth of his, evaporating.

“Oh.”

Delicate whisper. Yoongi quiets down, and that, that’s just wrong. It’s not a soft silence, it’s a heavy one. Yoongi’s thinking, thinking too hard, and probably wrong—

“No—fuck, no, I didn’t mean…I didn’t mean to offend you baby, that’s not—“

Splutters and mixed words make for a messy panic and nothing resolved. Yoongi blinks at him, sluggish, like those too hot days leaving him exhausted and unable to talk. Unable to look at Hoseok too.

“Hmph,” disinterested hum. Fragile gaze turns carefully blank, pretty lips not quite pouting; mood shifting blue, Hoseok knows those, Yoongi’s getting upset.

Won’t look at him, even as warm hands cradle his doll-face to make him see Hoseok. See that he wasn’t trying to offend him…but Hoseok has been clumsy, lately. He presses on, dejected, still panicked. “Just…what…what was it?”

There are no spring days giggles when Hoseok strokes those soft cheeks, touch tender, careful. A vague shiver, he sees, and Yoongi’s expression closing further. “Doesn’t matter. Forget it.”

Closing in a delicate sigh and pouty, petal lips. Stubborn, now, the upset wave shying away. It may or may not have something to do with the kicked puppy gaze Hoseok has thrown his all in. He won’t say anything, still. That’s fine, Hoseok can be stubborn too.

“No, no, please tell me! I’d do anything, promise.”

Okay now—he’s just being bitter. Hoseok kind of want to cry in frustration. He doesn’t. Instead, his fingers move on their own to get lost in the pretty red chocolate waves of Yoongi’s hair. And this forehead just begging to be kissed, Hoseok showers it in as many as he can and wholly accepts the flutter of his heart as Yoongi sighs in contentment.

“You’re still on that? I told you, baby,” he mutters, knows it sounds like he’s whining too, “it was just a joke.”

His little one shrugs. Deft fingers play with Hoseok’s shirt again. Bless.

“Whatever. I wanted to—I’d like to go biking across some cities,” he starts, soft, and it gets softer, almost timid. “If you want to. You’re not obligated, I just…felt like it would be nice to go with you.”

One would have to be a monster to refuse that. Hoseok melts, cradling Yoongi’s face in his hands, heart unbearably soft. “Okay, baby, we’ll do that. Whenever you want, does that sounds good?”

Yoongi’s nod is timid. If only he knew literally no one could refuse him anything…

“Seok….I don’t, I don’t want you to feel pressured into going with me—“

Hoseok gasps. “Nonsense,” he tuts, a bewildered noise coming frown somewhere in the back of his throat and making Yoongi giggle, all darling. “If you want something from me, darling, you’ll get it.”

Always.

Namjoon wonders.

Head in the clouds, clouds of his thoughts, mindless rays he’ll forget or stumble upon for no reasons one day. He wonders. Doesn’t do so for long, never manages to, when Yoongi’s here. Light yet potent. A solid form still like a statue but softer than kittens and everything nice. He feels good, so good on Namjoon’s lap, silent spell dizzying and dreams worthy, Namjoon barely manages to catch what he said.

Iced and inky strawberry locks dance when Yoongi tilts his head on the side. His eyes are half-lidded, yet glowing with a certain energy he definitely shouldn’t possess at three in the morning. “Joon?”

“m’sorry,” Namjoon whispers, squeezes the oh so soft skin of Yoongi’s hips. His baby’s at his calmest when Namjoon touches him always. “I didn’t catch that.”

“T’s’okay,” Yoongi says. He nods, at the same time, another reassurance, he always does that. Nodding to accompany his affirmation. To say again, softly, that it really is okay. He’s darling, darling, darling. “It’s just, ah…remember that field of flowers we visited with this guy? Tall, kind of old, but so, so kind?”

His legs kick a little bit as he says that, those sleepy and precious orbs he possesses for eyes brightening further. Namjoon remembers. He does. Just takes a bit more time than he was supposed to before humming an affirmation on the milky skin of Yoongi’s shoulder. Too busy, you see, being enchanted by Yoongi’s every little gesture. “I do, baby, did something happen?”

Yoongi positively beams. Turns around, not quite smooth and a lot messy, legs spreading on every side of Namjoon’s lap with absolutely no grace. Namjoon is so, so very in love. There’s a little grin on Yoongi’s lips. This contained excitement, not full blown, adorable teeth presented kind of grin. His lips are sealed, yet bursting with excitement. “He brought it for me.”

Namjoon takes a little while proceeding the information. Stares. Blinks. Repeats the information in his head. His hands kind of just sitting there, under Yoongi’s shirt, still too. Just—“He what?”

“He brought it for me,” Yoongi repeats, beaming strong. Elegant fingers dance an adorable little cha-cha on Namjoon’s shoulders when Yoongi caresses them. Touch light, playful, amused. There’s a certain wonder in his voice. “I could t believe it. Still can’t. But the field has my name now and he told me I could do whatever I wanted with it. Wild, huh? Those kinds of things happen a lot lately…”

“What, the universe bending to your will?” Namjoon says, splutters more like, grip going slack on Yoongi’s hips. The shorter, humming little angel pinches at his shoulder. Namjoon resumes his holding, tighter, probably going to leave bruises kind of hold. The twitch of Yoongi’s lips is a sweet indication that he was satisfied. “Yoon,” Namjoon whines, dazed and still trying to wrap his mind around what he heard. “How—that’s literally the fourth time some totally random person realizes you wish. Are you some kind of witches?”

“Witches are nice,” Yoongi says. Blinks. Tilts his head on the side, lips pursed and pretty and pink. Still in a state of shock, as Namjoon is, he’s struck by the violent desire to kiss him always and leave him breathless. He’s snapped out of his ensnared trance, though, by the dreamy waves of Yoongi’s gaze. “I’d love to be a witch…”

Oh. Oh hell— “Yoongi, no.

Yoongi honest to God purrs. “Yoongi, yes.”

There’s a thing, with Jimin’s most cherished one. There’s a thing, there are many things, but ultimately it’s—its a mannerism? A way to live by? A road to travel so many people forget? Jimin doesn’t know. He just calls it a thing. Yoongi’s thing. So pure, in its simplicity. A thing colored glass life that toddlers manage and wise old men struggle with. A thing that sings like breathing yet is so arduous to grip between desperate fingers. It slips like water from an ear to another and out of them. It’s so basically Yoongi, he sometimes forgets, the older man fought his fair share of battles before claiming this air as his own. This magic. This simplicity. White clear glass so see-through you’d run through it. Yoongi has this thing. This magic.

He—he draws stick figures. He really, really sucks at drawing. The most simple design would take him hours to complete. It would dishearten many, but Yoongi, he patiently struts on his way until his stick figures are the prettiest stick figures out there. He sings like an angel, but most of the time, he’s at his happiest when it’s off kay. Grinning and beaming like a sun crowned with stars. He flirts with Namjoon when it comes to his talent with written words, with lyrics, poems. But his giggles are oh so pretty, as he reads out loud the silly mess of words and ridiculous hashtags that have no business in his arts. Yoongi’s talented, but he pushes it aside, calls it overrated and likes working hard better. Likes effort, doing his best, busting his ass off and turn talent into doing.

Yoongi doesn’t speak empty words, doesn’t go through empty actions. Yoongi has this thing, makes it seem as easy as air. It’s Yoongi, doing and enjoying. Pushing through victories after victories, and at one point—Jimin’s certain that point’s called always—everything just went his way. Predictions, wishes, musings. They just went.

They all went. Head over heels and enchanted as they were, if Yoongi wanted something, it’d be a disaster to not get it for him.

Jimin’s not ashamed to admit he’s particularly whipped. Pleasing Yoongi is the way to go. There’s, ah, like a certain force pushing him. It just has to be.

“Hyung?”

A breath soft like clouds and dreamy stardust blinks sharp eyes at the counter. They’re sharp in their fineness, their delicacy, the sheer art of them. But they’re kind, always, diamond beauty and marshmallow endearment. Yoongi blinks again, and soon the flutter of his eyelashes is turned toward the approaching figure that is Jimin’s. Lends pretty on his rosy cheeks the moment Jimin presses his fingers on his skin. To cup his face, make him look up. His skin’s warm. “It’s so strange, Minnie,” the man breathes, kitten tongue licking briefly at candy lips. Absentmindedly. While Jimin kind of just dies over there. “I’ve had the strangest cravings, worse then a pregnant woman. What’s wrong with me?”

“I’ll just get everything for you,” Jimin says, breathes low before Yoongi has the time to finish his thoughts. He strokes at the skin rapidly coloring, wonders at the softness, wants to kiss it. Lick it, bite it pretty.

Yoongi lets out the softest sigh. Shakes his head quickly, soft, tiny movement restricted by the loving hold Jimin has on him. It’s kind of uncomfortable, from over the counter. But what’s pain when there are three seconds saved to touch Yoongi? Jimin’s a gone, gone man. “It’ll take too much time to get what I want. I’ll just—“

“No,” Jimin lets his fingers wonders to the pout sitting pretty on Yoongi’s equally pretty face. Heart heavy, heavy with feelings. “There’s no such things as too much for you.”

‭Yoongi looks star struck. Yoongi and his thing, doing and predicting. He’s just kind of magic. For if he wants—what the hell are they supposed to do? Say no? Impossible.

The baby will have whatever he desires.

“I could have done that.”

“Yeah, but you didn’t.”

It’s been years. Taehyung still thinks about it. Always like an epiphany. A wake-up call, a reminder of who he is. Yoongi probably doesn’t remember. But Taehyung does. Taehyung still thinks about it. Like a solution knocking at his door when he’s desperate and on the edge of tears. Sliding, graceful, old mother and friend with flowing water for an embrace and an autumn’s breeze for a voice. Dawns upon him, takes its time, but is there, always. Ready to remain him he’s Taehyung. Taehyung and no one else. Taehyung who isn’t made of “I could have done that”, but is described, with startled expressions and surprised murmurings, “he did that.”

Yoongi’s a lot of things. “Could have—“ isn’t one of them. Yoongi just is. And he does his existing pretty, by your side if you’ll have him, quiet as a mouse; but the world inside his head so, so loud. Yoongi’s a mix of many threads, many actions, some he regrets; other he’s immensely proud of. But he’s here because he chose it. Because an “I could have—“ tasted bitter in the tip of his tongue. He liked the “I did it,” better, even when he crashed and burned. At least he had wished, at least he had hope, at least he went through it. Believer and courageous.

He believes in life.

(And for Taehyung…for Taehyung it’s Yoongi—)

There’s a jewel. Kind of small. Pretty tiny, actually. Dark. Soft glow. It sits lonely on the far corner of the display. Few people to none look at it, eyes glossing over it in favor of the brighter ones. Big, imposing, eye-catching. But…there’s this jewel. A wormwood liquor, bright-green color, and Yoongi’s staring at it with no little amount of fascination.

Yoongi loves Absinthe-colored delicacies. His eyes grow just a little bit bigger, the rest of his delicate expression staying carefully blank, it’s endearing, and Taehyung melts. His little one’s tiny enough for Taehyung to be able to peppers a shower of kisses on the side of his head, as he presses closer; as he wraps his arms around Yoongi’s tiny waist and relishes in his warmth. Bathes in the tender pleasure of being able to hold him this way, where everyone can see them but none will give them a second glance. Yoongi leans back in his hold. Blinks dark jewels up at him, strangely focused. Wondering. “D’you want that?” Taehyung says, asks quietly, arms tightening around him. He’s going to buy it anyway. Because Yoongi looks like he wants it, and Taehyung’s dying to make him happy. Dying to do it, and not simmer in a could have.

Yoongi shakes his head quietly. And then, then there’s a pretty smile lightening his face, suddenly. Little, shining thing in the dark lightings if the store. Just like the absinthe. He goes up, up on the tip of his toes, cranes his head backward and asks silently for a kiss.

Taehyung gives it to him. Immediately. Without missing a beat. Swoops down and takes pink petals between his lips, nurses his love-sick heart with the tenderness in which Yoongi moves his lips against his. Sighs, quiet, willing to do anything for this darling being. Yoongi’s smile widen. And his eyes, they’re shining.

“I’ve got everything I desire right here.”

Oh.

Oh.

Taehyung’s chest hurts so, so good.

Yoongi’s nibbling on chocolate when Jungkook finally finds him. Where stress and frustration had created a mini-storm in his chest, the sight of Yoongi makes it all disappear. Melts him like snow exposed to the sun. Jungkook’s body unwinds immediately, and he lets out a little noise, at ease, enchanted. His little hyung doesn’t quite see him yet. Curled in on himself, little ball of dozing man and butterflies lashes fluttering on the dusty pink of his cheekbones. He doesn’t notice Jungkook padding closer inside the room, steps light and flying him straight to where the man rests on his bed. No, no. Still stares at something only him seems to see, little baby teeth barely nipping at his sweetness of choice for the day. Yoongi doesn’t eat a whole lot but he’s the king of snacking. Could go days without proper food; yet also eat something every hour because he’s like that.

Jungkook finds him oh so endearing. But then again, doesn’t he feel like that about every little thing Yoongi does…?

“Hyung,” he says, though it sounds more like whining. Startles Yoongi as he puts one knee on the bed, then the other, before spreading Yoongi’s legs and nestle himself between them. Yoongi discards his barely eaten treat in favor of cradling his head on his stomach; doesn’t ask any questions. Only huffs out an endeared little sound, long, delicate fingers traveling in Jungkook’s dark locks. He’s warm, just like his everything, pleasantly so. Accepting, pliant and tiny under Jungkook’s weight. It makes him want to crush him. But like—in a good way. Just to have his little hyung squirming and reddening under Jungkook’s hold.

Well. He squirms. Nearly forgets why he came in here, until Yoongi traces the hidden lines of his cheekbones tenderly. “Kook?”

There’s a hint of a laugh in his inquisition. Junkook feast on the warmth it gives him, before coming to his senses. Before he smiles, stretch of lips hidden in the cotton of Yoongi’s shirt. “N’thing. Just wanted to see my angel ‘n get my faith in humanity back.”

“...Huh?” The hand treading in his hair stops, and Jungkook groans low in his throat, a barely heard whine; but Yoongi resumes his tender caresses, though he nudges a soft finger over Jungkook’s cheek. “What are you talking about again?”

Jungkook shakes his head. Drowsy. Breathy, nearly gone laughter bubbling in his throat and swallowed by the sigh of pure happiness that is being surronded by Yoongi. Thinks about this little man part-time genie full’time angel, that speaks with such yearning and childish inniocence the universe trips on its feet to grant his wishes. “N’thing...just...wish me luck. Have faith in me, and everything will be okay.”

Yoongi’s touch is so soft. His smell so ensnaring, Jungkook doesn’t resistthe call of sleep. Before everything turns blissfuly black, heavenly like Yoongi’s embrace, he hears this low melody tat is Yoongi’s voice and lovely words.

“That’s my everyday wish, silly.”

[dcarhcarts]

regarding recent absences

And other such updates!

If you want the tl;dr, here it is: my mental health isn’t in the greatest place right now, and I figured I ought to explain why I must ask you for continued patience for the snail speed on this blog. I’m not announcing official hiatus, but just know that I...might continue to be pretty scarce, but I’m trying my best to be here and to be writing here. To hopefully get me more active here, I plan on dropping a few threads and cleaning out my dash re: people who follow me but aren’t writing with me. You’re more than welcome to keep following me if I unfollow you, and if you want to write with me and just haven’t gotten the chance and would like me to re-follow you, pls just go ahead and shoot me an im. I will be making a separate post about both those things, it’s just that I can’t deal with how fast my dash is moving at the moment.

If you care for the long version, under the cut so as to not bother everyone else!!! Be warned that it’s uh...it’s l o n g. TW for depression and anxiety and the general things my brain does to me lolol. 

Wow I haven’t used the post title function in a l o n g time. Anyway, hi, it’s me, Ro, your friendly neighborhood mun of a 20+ muse mumu. Don’t let the kind-of-serious format scare you - nothing bad is happening. I just have a few things that I felt the need to address that have been happening either in my life or just in my screwed up brain :D Buckle in and get ready for the ride, I guess?

Starting with something y’all already know about - I’ve not been here a lot recently. I joke about that a lot, but really, if you catch the pattern, my activity here is: exclusively after 10 pm, 2 drafts at most a day, inbox straight up clogged from like a month ago. IMS basically desolate, because I haven’t worked up the courage to pick them back up since I last forgot about them in the endless stream of things I had to do about a month ago! (that being said, uh, if you want to talk to me your best bet is probably through discord. Ro#6782 - pls, mutuals only, and tell me who you are!)  

And - because I h a t e being that mun that reblogs memes and asks for for them and then never answers their askbox / puts out starter calls when she has 10000 drafts / puts out plotting calls when she has unanswered ims, (no problem at all when other people do this but somehow when it’s m e I’m like “no you’re a terrible person”???? hmmm), I’ve also been avoiding t h o s e. If you’re new and you followed me in the last month, I’ve been putting out n o t h i n g that indicates a willingness to interact with new/more people, while the opposite is true. I’m always willing to interact - if I follow back, I want to write with you, only, well, aforementioned issue aside, I also have m o r e problems.

Namely, IRL and the fucked up thing called my brain. 

As most of you know, I got a job ~end of may or early juuuune~ and....well it’s pretty damn time consuming. I can’t have my phone during the course of my job - by the way, 4 hours - and so in those 4 hours (from 4 pm to 8 pm) I can basically get nothing done here. Then there’s also the fact that the time my shift is placed mentally and physically drains me a lot. Because it starts at 4, most of my morning is spent thinking “god I don’t wanna go to work” and because it ends at 8, most of my evening is spent trying very hard not to doze off. It also drains me a lot socially - I work at a call center, and all day I’m basically calling people who don’t want me to call them and are very irate even when they pick up, and uh, that already doesn’t do well for my anxiety haha. 

The other thing, of course - is my sort-of-seasonal depression. Winter tends to equate to anxiety for me, and summer tends to equate to depression. Again, I think I’ve joked about this a lot, but I apparently can only do drafts when I have 3 finals tomorrow and I haven’t studied for any of them. When it’s break, I get into a really weird slump - when i wake up in the morning, I don’t really want to wake up, and sometimes just stare at the wall for like, an hour. Nothing that I enjoyed during the other months, I seem to enjoy doing now. There’s too much time and too little time. It’s like i spent the whole day doing absolutely nothing meaningful but I can’t break myself out of the cycle so I keep doing that, rinse and repeat day after day, and sometimes my definition of spending time is just lying down in bed again and doing nothing for an hour randomly in the middle of the day. I feel guilty for wasting time as much as I am clueless as to how to fill it in a fulfilling way. “But Ro, you could do drafts!” A Concerned Person May Say. “You like writing!” Well, Kind Person, on some of these days, absolutely n o t h i n g Sparks Joy. 

“But Ro, I follow you on your other blog too!” The Concerned Person might continue.“You’re kind of active there, aren’t you?” And the answer, Kind Person who supported my career even if that blog is mostly obscure af fandoms - is yes.  I am kind of active on my other blog, @storyblcd. This brings us to the third and final reason why I’m.....moving at snail’s speed here, and that, my good friend - is anxiety. Well, mixed with a certain amount of mental exhaustion, of course. Note: this is n o t anyone’s fault. People’s interactions with me have not been negative - and they are not responsible for how my brain chooses to reaact to it. 

I’ve not lost muse for the muses on this blog, per se - but I’m getting burned out really fast writing them, for multiple reasons. First, muse imbalance. Now I know, I definitely k n o w - that sometimes people like one muse more than another, or have more interest in writing with one or the other, and I get that. I’ve said multiple multiple times that that is p e r f e c t l y fine. But honestly the reason I’ve lasted so long on a multimuse is because I can pick which muse I have muse for when, and I can respond accordingly / ask for interactions accordingly. But when I get so many people coming at me at once for the o n e muse when I have t w e n t y it sometimes gets a little? Discouraging? It makes me question whether or not only that one muse is popular for a reason. It also exhausts me re: the portrayal of that muse, because I”m putting out so many replies for that muse in a lot of sort of similar plots/scenarios that I just get burnt right out. And then I get scared that if I keep going I’ll want to drop the muse, so I’m staying away from those threads a little bit.

Second, I’m at a point in my portrayal of certain muses where I feel like there’s a certain expectation for how it’s going to be. My personal feelings aside, I think every mun expects their own portrayal to be different and unique and exciting - and it’s not different for me, only now I feel like the expectation and the pressure of coming up with something good and meaningful outweighs the feeling of exploration as I’m “discovering” the muse. Like most writers - I still crave validation, though more and more lately, I’m at a place in my writing where I f e e l like me from 2 months ago could have probably done a better job. While it’s not necessarily true, and these pressures are coming from m e and not any outside source, I f e e l like I have to consistently Make Good Writing, and simultaneously feel like some days I sit down and I try to do drafts and all I write is garbage. It just - doesn’t feel the same? So - more and more, I’m staring at the empty drafts page and then closing it - because if I don’t w r i t e I don’t have to admit I peaked two months ago.  

Both of these reasons have made me rather a bit avoidant of my muses here / this blog. Now, I’ve been struggling with anxiety for long enough that I know that a lot of this is - well, p r o b a b l y just my brain lying to me. See even as I’m writing this post now, my anxiety is saying “haha guess what n o one cares you’ve been gone” and my rational Anxiety-is-a-stupid-asshole voice is saying “nahhhhhh your brain is probably just lying to you.” But! In the battle, anxiety is kind of pummeling me now. I will r i s e again and win the war, most likely - but for now it’s anxiety: 1 and ro: 0.

AND finally - if you made it all the way down here, you’re a c h a m p. The solution! Well, as much of a solution as I’m hoping to get anyway - we’ll have to see if it implements well. I’m going to unfollow a few blogs so I can get my dash cleaner/more organized/less fast-moving and b r e a t h e. I’m going to drop a couple of threads, I might make a couple more muses request only/exclusive only for the like 2 people that have threads with them, I might drop a couple muses (though I don’t think this will really happen, Idk tho). There will be separate posts on those things coming soon, this is just to notify y’all. Thank you for all of your patience, thank you for all the wonderful people who’ve allowed me to write with you, I love all of you!!!!

[hwz1bwxf-blog]

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[endwalkr]

this is an ask based thingy but im really in the mood to infodump so im just gonna answer them all under the cut !

Favorite video game?

starting off with the absolute hardest question huh? i can’t possibly name ONE favorite game of mine because i adore my favorites for many different reasons. my overall favorite video game is ffxv or botw. ffxv because it has brought me so much joy for such a long time, and because i have such a connection with the characters. botw because i was actually in the fandom when it first got announced in 2016 so i got to be there when the hype was at an all time high– and finally being able to play the game after waiting for so long was an unforgettable experience. i have more favorite games but ill talk more about them in the ‘’special place in ur heart’’ question.

First console you owned?

my first console wasn’t a console. my friend and i used to play on her nintendo dsi all the time and at one point tiny little me reeeally wanted one of my own so i saved up and got one in [redacted] when i was 7. my first actual console was a wii though, we got that around the same time.

A game that holds a special place in your heart?

ffxv and botw mean the absolute world to me, but super mario galaxy and skyward sword are very important to me too. skyward sword is the game that got me into zelda which got me into anime which got me into final fantasy etc etc etc.  super mario galaxy was the first non-mini game collection and more adventure story-ish game i played. i was so proud when i beat it for the first time and mario was my first ever ‘’fandom’’ :’) 

Favorite video game character?

bro. i cant pick just one so i’ll choose one per game : prompto, ryuji and link. they were all my comfort characters at some point and i projected like crazy onto them. this doesnt mean that i wouldnt absolutely die for noct or zelda. 

Least favorite video game character?

i dont think theres anyone i distinctly dislike? i always talk about hating ardyn but that’s because he’s just a salty bitch. as a character i think he’s a great villain and i rly love him. i honestly always end up liking everyone somehow, maybe there is someone i just forgot about but i cant remember at all. 

Favorite genre?

adventure games, or action rpgs. 

Video game character you’ve had a crush on?

every character ever, but i distinctly remember the moment i fell in love with prompto sjghfkshd i was watching a playthrough of xv in december 2016 because i didnt have a ps4, and the guy got to the scene in galdin quay where the bros learn insomnia fell. i had watched about 6 hours of the game by that time and wasn’t particularly interested in the characters but not uninterested enough to drop it. i hadnt even gotten a good look at the characters faces yet, so when the camera zoomed in on prompto when he said ‘’might not be save for us here!’’ i noticed he had freckles. oh god. oh fuck. oh my god hes fucking cute. oh my god better watch 30 hours of this game now

First video game you remember playing?

wayyy before i got my own gaming systems, my then-best friend had a gamecube in her attic. i was around 5 or 6 at the time. whenever i was over at her house and we didnt know what to do, she’d sometimes propose to play ‘’mario kart’’. important is that we are dutch, and i was a literal child. i thought mario KART meant it was a fucking card game, so i always declined whenever she asked. on one fateful day, i finally gave in and was pleasantly surprised it was in fact not a card game, but a viddy game. so we played mario kart double dash. (…i had never played a video game in my life besides browser flash games and was Very Very bad)

Age you started gaming?

so i played my first video game that i didnt own when i was about 5 or 6. then i got my first supply of games at age 7/8, but i dont really consider that time to be when i started ‘’gaming’’. i’d say that was when i started mario galaxy, so i’ve been playing video games for real (ie. story adventure games with boss battles) for about 6 years now.

Hardest video game you’ve played?

this is gonna sound stupid, but the witcher 3. there’s like 7 difficulties and i played on the EASIEST and still had a hard time, i just couldnt get used to the combat. i had the same problem with assassin’s creed syndicate, but after about 10 hours i actually knew what i was doing, and ive played the witcher longer than that and still am clueless. this is kind of an unpopular opinion but i dont particularly like that game

Video game you’ve spent the most time on?

i guess i am what you’d call a casual gamer; i really like video games but during a normal school week i only game for like 2-6 hours. most of the time i dont play for like 2 weeks if im busy. gaming has kind of taken over my life not because i play so much but because i get so emotionally invested lol i’m currently on summer break and even now im not playing a lot because of exhaustion and executive dysfunction. this derailed slightly but the game i’ve played the most despite my casual gamer status is …. … …. ffxv. surprise, right? the runner up is botw, but xv wins by a landslide. 630+ hours. botw is 350. my main save in ffxv is almost 200 hours i think. damn. i really managed to keep myself entertained with that game… (………i was thinking recently, since the loading screens in xv are so long, how much of this total amount was spent watching screens. i imagine it’s several hours, especially if you fast travel a lot.)

Most embarrassing gaming moment?

many moments in my gaming experience are embarrassing, but a more recent one: i was in xv’s postgame, beating some dungeons on my new save file. i had just finished daurell caverns and hadn’t saved in about 2 hours. (uh oh) i was driving around in the regalia type d and got to the big cliff near lestallum, and remembered someone made a gif of jumping in there so i wanted to try it too. i imagined the game would just put me back on the road, like it does when you crash into something. except it didnt. i got a game over. where was my last save? 2 hours back all the way in hammerhead. yippee.

Scariest video game you’ve played?

i never play horror games, cuz for me games are supposed to be relaxing experiences. no hate towards horror games of course, they just stress me out. the only time ive played horror is when friday the 13th was for free on ps+, and my friends really wanted to play it. (theyre kinda addicted to it now. huh) they had already gotten over the initial fear of having jason chase you, but i was still terrified. i can play the game without getting scared now tho. the horror sound effects just rly freaked me out at first jhsdkghsd

Most memorable gaming moment?

playing breath of the wild for the first time, or beating it for the first time. both experiences were filled to the brim with excitement and nostalgia. seeing botw as a blank slate, a world for you to explore, having no idea where you’re going… that was pretty incredible. now i know every nook and cranny of the map, so i wish i could play it for the first time again. i was so incredibly immersed. beating it was insane. i cried for 30 minutes and the end wasnt even sad, i was just so amazed at the fact that i was really here, playing breath of the wild, it was really real. the fucking main theme in the background (which i cannot for the life of me listen to without crying) didnt help with my emotions sgkdjh

Video game character you wish you could meet in real life?

…………..its prompto again. maybe 2017 me …. was .. kind of a kinnie

PC, Xbox, Playstation, or Nintendo?

i dont care about console wars at all, but i think hardware-wise, pc is the best, because if you have a good pc you can basically do anything. i however do not, so i just play on consoles. ive never particularly liked xbox, so i only play ps4 and nintendo. not the switch though. its kinda petty, but my best friend and i really dont like the switch djghks

Gaming company you’re most loyal to?

none. i used to call myself a nintendo nerd (oh my god…. i m. gonna die) in like 2015 but since the switch came out and since i got a ps4 they kinda lost me. i still like their game series of course, but as a company i don’t care for them. the only reason i see square enix as one of ‘’my’’ gaming companies is because ffxv took up like 70% of my gaming experience, but besides final fantasy i don’t really love them too much either.

If you could only play one video game for the rest of your life, which would you choose?

atm i’m really into ffxiv because theres just so much to do, but that’s just a new, possibly temporary interest. if i had to choose, i’d say botw. maybe i’d say ffxv, but i feel like running around doing nothing in that game isnt very fun, because the world is sorta empty after completing every quest and getting to level 120. in botw, just fucking around on your horse is still really relaxing and nice. 

Do you use strategy guides?

yup. in certain games i try to avoid them but i usually end up stuck or in need of advice. i couldn’t have gotten so many p5 trophies if not for the internet lol

How often do you use cheats?

never, simply because the games i play often do not have cheats. unless im playing the sims and are in need of a motherlode, i dont use them.

Competitive or single player?

single player. im bad at video games and like to do stuff at my own pace. online multiplayer can be fun every now and then in games like mario kart 8 or splatoon, and i also like teamwork stuff like ffxiv or comrades. but ultimately, i prefer playing on my own.

Video game character you want to/have cosplayed?

have never cosplayed, dont have plans to either, but it would be fun to cosplay link. omg. i just remembered i have that fucking chocomoogle shirt… sorry link im gonna slap on some sasuke hair, black jeans and ugly sneakers 

Ever go to a video game convention?

i have not, i have however gone to three (3) video game concerts which is basically the same thing. 

Hardest boss fight you’ve been in?

the hardest bosses for me are usually the ones with a gimmick. you have to use a certain item or tactic to beat them or something. other hard fights for me are when you fight someone with a similar skill set. (in ffxv, this happens twice, once with the iggy-noct sparring match and once against ardyn. somehow, the final boss was easier than getting the prince to eat vegetables.) i don’t know an actual example of THE hardest boss fight ive been in though. at the time, the first bowser battle in mario galaxy was the hardest thing in the universe and i got stuck for like a month. currently, i’m having trouble with the riku-ansem fight in kh1. 

Video game you wish you could burn from your memory?

the zelda cdi games? no, i dont really know. i dont hate a game so much that i’d want to forget about it altogether, but i dont exactly love ocarina of time that much. it hasnt aged well and playing it on the gamecube for the first time in 2015 wasnt a good idea. im sure it was revolutionary at the time, but i cant handle the outdated controls gsdgksjs 

Favorite gaming series?

see, i love ffxv itself more than the entirety of the zelda series, but i dont love ff as a SERIES more than the zelda games. so if were talking series, zelda for sure. i fucking love those games and they mean a lot to me. 

Do you skip tutorials, or find them useful?

i often skip them because i cant pay attention, but then find that i need them anyway. so i usually do skim through them. 

Best online gaming experience?

one really good one happened a few days ago in ffxiv, some guy and i exchanged emotes for like 30 minutes and it ended with us becoming friends on psn :’) ppl dont usually emote back at me in that game so this was really wholesome and nice gjshksdj 

Worst online gaming experience?

i dont really have a worst? theyre more annoying. think try harders in gta online killing you 15 times in a row because they want to show you how good they are or something. magically, online gaming hasnt been too hard on me (mainly because i dont game online that much)

Why do you game?

it brings me joy. it’s a fun way of relaxing, while being stimulated at the same time. games have meant a great deal to me the past 6 years and i wouldnt want to lose them for the world.

[soulwillower]

separate seas • bill denbrough

(bill denbrough x plus size!reader)   

requested: Hi! Can I request another fic? I was thinking a Bill Denbrough x plus size reader were the reader was Bill’s next door neighbour who survived a Pennywise attack. When the Losers reunite Mike suggests to meet up with the reader because she wants to kill Pennywise the most. She now stutters (much like Bill did) and is very reclusive. It's not a full idea but I think you could write something great! Thanks!

warnings: swearing, fluff, poorly written, unedited

i was going to make it angsty but i just couldn't write it for some reason, im sorry  <3 i dont know how i feel about this, i’ve been trying to write for a while and have been discouraged /feeling bleh abt my writing but i truly hope u guys enjoy this!

[takes place during the events of chapter 2]

2.2k words

♡

bill was floored at the emotions that coursed through him at mike’s words. of course, he was already floored by the sheer amount of information and memories that had taken to his mind like a brick wall to the face - poorly - so why did this brick wall hit so much harder than the other? mike’s words ring in bill’s ears like a church bell.

y/n, we have to go see y/n.

the air of the jade orient becomes increasingly stale and bill has to wipe his face with his forearm. he remembers suddenly a book he’d written nearing ten years prior to this moment, titled the plague of dawn.  it makes him frown in confusion. why did he think of that?

the book wasn’t anything special, in fact it was one of his lowest-grossing novels, despite it being one of his own personal favorites. there was a protagonist who was investigating the death of a young boy, and a mysterious love interest - a woman who was bright but with a troubled past and, from what bill remembers writing, a curvy figure and stunning eyes.

odd to remember that in such a time, but he supposes everything has been odd tonight. but bottom line, it was nothing special. in fact, the novel had been very cheesy, but it had stuck with him in this moment for some unknown reason.

y/n.... bill remembers cloudy memories of a girl with bright eyes and laughter. he sees his house, next to it, a blue one; georgie, with a bright smile, running up to a girl who came out of the garage of the blue house to the left. she hugs him and his arms squeeze around her middle, his face half buried in her soft stomach. he remembers thinking she is beautiful. 

looking around, he sees that the others are slowly remembering her too, but he thinks briefly that they certainly have different memories.

“not that i don’t miss her, but… why y/n?” bev asks. the pieces were falling into place, it seemed, all at the same time in their own heads. “wait. didn’t she go to the hospital for-“ eddie starts rushed, but richie snaps a few times as he speaks up.

“oh, fuck. wait- It. It got her, right? and she survived?” richie says, fingers pressing on his head as he squints. he looks just as pained as bill feels when  memories of her - and of It - fill his senses.

your eyes. your laugh. your hair. your skin. your silhouette. the bedsheets bill would sometimes catch a glimpse of when he looked out his own window. much like the ones he wrote for the plague of dawn’s  - oh.

bill can’t help but drop his head into his palms in realization - had he written a character based off of a repressed memory of a childhood crush? christ.

“…she was bill’s neighbor.” ben adds, looking puzzled. everyone turns to look at bill, and he swallows. “y-uh, y-yeah. i r-remember.” and he does. "sh-she was attacked right at the beginning of the s-summer." it's silent. "she wants It dead more than anyone. we need her help." mike says, standing up.

and then twenty minutes later, bill finds himself on an unfamiliar porch step with five of his childhood friends, staring at an unopened door. why is he so fucking anxious to see her? will she remember him? will she care?

mike has to knock three times before the door opens, revealing a woman that makes bill's breath falter.

“h-holy shit.” the woman mutters, eyes flickering between everyone on her porch step. those eyes. bill would recognize them anywhere. she looks different than he remembers, but more than likely she’s matured just as much as him in the last twenty some years. she looks really good.

"y/n." mike says, giving her a tight-lipped smile. bill watches her, her face even and unrevealing. she doesn't try to hug anybody. there’s a long, staggering scar that pokes through the collar of her shirt, and yes, now bill knows for sure that this is his old neighbor, y/n. 

she seems to have the same eyes, the same face. he wonders briefly if she remembers him the way he remembers her.

“what’s g-going on?” she says, looking suspicious of the group in front of her, eyes flitting over everybody with little to no emotion. it feels like a cool breeze blows down the spine of everyone present. 

bill takes in her figure and swallows, shocked to be seeing her so suddenly. she catches his eyes and recognition flickers in the depths of her face, a small quirk of her lips betraying her menacing stare.

“caroling group.” richie deadpans, bringing everyone back down to the present as his hands are in his pockets and he’s rocking on his heels. bill barely spares a glance behind him to richie as he stares at y/n. does she have a stutter too? she didn’t always have it. the look on her face is mysterious and pained.

"we need your help." mike says, giving her a look. as bill watches her reaction, he can’t help but feel like the seven of them were all swimming in separate seas at the same time, being masked by a false sense of belonging. was this going to work? could they really do it? 

y/n seems to understand grimly, like she feels whatever this is too, as she takes in the faces of people she hadn't seen in years. but then she turns away, walking back into her house. bill blinks.

at first he thinks she's abandoning them, but then she waves her hand expectantly. she does actually invite them in, leaving bill to watch in curiosity as she leads them to a back room in her house, seemingly unwillingly. she seems determined, but not very excited. he doesn't blame her.

they all sit awkwardly as mike and y/n talk about the summer of '89.

"our wh-whole town was full of nightm-mares. not just It." y/n shrugs, the cloud of mystery and self-isolation wrapping her up and pulling her farther and farther out of bill's reach.

"b-bowers." bill says, noticing how y/n's eyes dart to ben's quickly. she and ben went through very similar situations with bowers and the memory of their fucked up childhood makes bill's head spin.

"th-that doesn't matter r-right now." y/n says dismissively, waving her hand. bill stares at the table as he remembers the the character he wrote in the plague of dawn - the love interest had been tormented relentlessly, particularly for her weight.

god, how awful is that? bill didn't even mean to, but he had essentially broadcasted y/n's life into a novel.

“y-you punched him, once.” bill blurts, a laugh escaping his lips. y/n looks at him and for the first time, she looks like her old self, smiling and happy. 

“y-yeah, i suppose i d-did, bill. he d-d-deserved it.” she says, smug look quickly retreating back to the wall of blank emotion. something stirs him on, “you got that r-right. it was inc-credible, that was th-the best thing i’d e-ever seen. i was o-obsessed with y-you.” 

its silent and bill realizes what he just said.  “well this is awkward.” richie says with a grin, nudging both ben and eddie’s sides. they just give him a look. y/n’s smirking at the table and bev is grinning at bill with a knowing look. 

"-we're going to kill It." mike says, voice wavering only slightly, breaking the tension. and just like that, the moment is over. bill shivers but he nods, looking over richie, to eddie, to bev, then ben, mike, and finally y/n.

"yeah, well. f-fighting I-It wasn't too easy, i'm sure you kn-know." y/n says shortly, her fingers ghosting over the scar on her chest. bill's stomach flutters with something between fear and admiration. he remembers - she doesn't have to say it. they're all remembering.

she had been outside in the ravine down the street by herself when pennywise had found her. bill remembers sirens, he remembers the blood as she stumbled across the street towards their houses. he remembers watching her get carried to the hospital and then riding silver down to the clubhouse to tell the others. he doesn't remember much else from that summer, just a whole lot of pain and fear. but he remembers not hearing her voice much, or seeing her nearly at all those days. he had missed her, but he'd never said anything.

the bubbly girl was not quite there anymore.

she speaks up and immediately pull bill's attention from his thoughts. "but this time, we're a-all going to b-be together. It is g-going to die."

after the conversation and getting y/n to agree (which wasn't very hard, she was very determined), bill was left with a bitter taste in his mouth and a pit in his stomach. it was weird being back in derry, and catching y/n's eye, he could tell she thought it was weird for them to be back too.

bill was exhausted and thought he might be sick, head swirling around with images of the jade of the orient, of stan, of pennywise, and georgie. he feels empty, and so he can’t help himself from asking y/n to come back and grab a drink at the townhouse.

he needs a distraction, or something. something. 

she had shaken her head, but instead taken him by the elbow and told him she had a full bottle of scotch in her cabinet. he was shocked to receive an invitation to stay longer at the reclusive y/n’s house, considering how withdrawn she’d been (understandably) this whole time, but he eagerly told the others he would see them back at the townhouse. he ignores richie when he makes lewd gestures through the window as they all leave.  

when they’re in her house alone, she places what is indeed a full bottle of unopened, aged scotch on her table unceremoniously as her hair shines in the lamplight and her clothes cling to her shape.

he tries not to linger his eyes on her body but can’t help to admire her curves and how soft her skin looks as she places a glass in front of him, pouring out three fingers, no rocks.

he doesn’t flinch, completely intending on finishing this glass and then some if he’s going to do this whole fucking thing.

"it’s from the t-trauma." she says and he blinks at her, confused. she smirks lightly, as if mocking herself. "the stutter." she elaborates, and he nods slowly. he understands that.

"m-mine came back wh-when i did." he explains. it’s quiet again and he watches as she pours her own glass. he’s slightly thrown off as he watches her move the bottle over to set it on top of a stack of paperback novels. he skims the stack, his eyes catching bold lettering: THE PLAGUE OF DAWN.

he almost laughs, but his stomach  coils tightly with something akin to embarrassment.

his body carries him to pick the book up, plopping back down after it's clutched in his hands. “d-did you read this?” he asks, looking at her with a raised brow.

she grins, not looking a single bit ashamed. “y-yeah, i did.”

well, fuck. 

“the m-main character, it’s…” he starts, unsure how to say it. but she never left, she never forgot anything - did she notice? 

she nods slowly, face flushing. “i’ve talked with mike long en-enough to know you didn’t remember me wh-when you w-wrote it. i just… i can’t help but n-notice…”

“it’s you, y/n. i d-didn’t- i don’t think i really kn-knew it then. wh-when i wrote it, i kn-knew i was writing about my ch-childhood, i just- i didn’t realize…i’m s-sorry.”

“i know.” she says simply and there it is again, the mysterious shroud that prevents bill from knowing y/n y/l/n fully. its awkward for a moment, and then : “did you at least l-like it?”

she cracks a grin as she sips on her scotch. she’s beautiful and it makes bill blush almost like he’s 13 again and completely unsure how to flirt with this woman.

“well, i don’t know. y-you killed me off, b-bill. wh-who kills off the l-love interest before they get any c-closure?” she says, lifting a brow. bill can’t help the sheepish grin nor the blush from creeping onto his face. 

"its f-fucked!" she adds. he can't help but huff a laugh, feeling eerily similar to how he used to feel when he was young. and he was okay with that.

“n-no it isn’t- i just, i- people l-loved it, okay.” he defends half-heartedly, knowing it to be untrue. she laughs openly at this, watching him as he thumbs through the pages of his own words, looking embarrassed.

“it’s so c-cute that you think that, b-bill.” she says coyly. he looks up from the book then, a grin of his own on his face as his cheeks dust pink. she’s pulling his leg. 

"you- er, i just c-can't believe th-this all happened." he mutters, scratching his head. she lifts a brow and it flusters him again so he tries to add on. "and i wish th-that i hadn't forgotten it. y-you, particularly." his words come out awkwardly and he feels like a dumbass.

“p-poetic, denbrough.” she grins, hands grabbing his shoulders gently. he grins at her, raising his hands to her shoulder and another to her waist, squeezing the soft skin. he shrugs, "what can i s-say, i-"

and then before he can add anything more, she closes the gap, leaning to press her lips against his. it's soft at first, as if being gentle after the black hole of trauma they are soon to reopen. 

it’s bold and shocking and surprising. 

but bill moves his lips against hers and they both come to life, kissing fiercely as the world stops around them. there's pain in the kiss, there's devastation, there's fear. but there’s also light, there's love. he feels it all as she kisses him.

when they pull apart, bill looks at her with wide eyes. "that was- unexpected." he says as she stares up at him. he can't tear his eyes away from her and she shrugs, staring back in shock,"i-i’m sorry." she says quickly, hands still holding her face. she stares up at him, "d-did i fuck it up, th-though?"

she looks like she already knows the answer but wants to hear him say it for himself.

he shakes his head, "d-don’t think so, y-y/n." he pulls her in for another kiss and she sighs into his mouth, holding him tightly.

 there’s still a looming sense of dread over their heads, staring down at them with its ugly impending danger. but he has her in his arms and he can’t believe it. 

and maybe, it'll be okay. maybe these separate seas aren’t too different. 

[homeschoolbase]

13 year old daughter is not getting through her online curriculum and I need to switch course so she's on track for 8th grade in public school

13 year old daughter is not getting through her online curriculum and I need to switch course so she's on track for 8th grade in public school

My daughter did well last year getting through the half online half work work curriculum after pulling her from 6th grade public school. She has always struggled in math, and keeping up with typical workloads for most topics, moving twice in one year really stressed her out and when she requested homeschool I saw why that might be best. I found Bridgeway Academy and her 2nd half of 6th grade went by smoothly once we figured out how to navigate online but because we started late she ended the curriculum in august. When September rolled around for 7th grade shed become lazy and demotivated, feeling like this was all too much work. she appeared to be on track in December and I sent her to family for the holiday on the condition she continue working, she lied and thats where her decline kicks in. Since january she has only chosen to work on language arts and history, obviously I make her do math and science but she drags and i cant do it for her, the progress is barely noticeable on her overall grade, it looks like shes at 33% on science and math. I know she isnt enjoying the curriculum so she puts it off and cant go through it quickly. There are 2 months left 3 if I force her to push herself deep into summer and push her into public school feeling exhausted and behind. Im already a little worried about her focus on the social aspect of public school, Im not sure if she can start 8th grade now. I feel like I made the wrong choice and have let my only child down. maybe theres a better way, I'm wondering if its safe to abandon this curriculum and grab STAAR workbooks and prepare her for 7th grade testing? Perhaps find a more workbook based curriculum because I dont think online is working for her and I cant waste precious time stressing her out, she tends to work from 10 am to 6pm with breaks, and she hates everyday. I dont know anyone else in homeschool but I know Texas seems to have a wider range of options, I just want advice. She didnt just start homeschool we also moved to Texas from California and I know some of her issues stem from that. Shes artistic and utilizes youtube to teach herself keyboard and ukelele, makes comics with a graphic art pad, plays D&D, and primarily entertains herself with creative outlets in her free time. I noticed STAAR testing is only Math, writing, and reading, and it sounds logical to me to get 2 new math books and just do them with her and study, same with reading and writing just not as intensely. Has anyone redirected toward the end of the year? Is this even a decent idea or is there something obvious that im unaware of? What can I do? Im currently SAHM, I cant do much to help her as its more time consuming than it is difficult, but the more behind she gets the less motivated she is and .... I'm starting to panic. Thanks in advance for any ideas.