#and now she's come to her lowest point where nothing feels like it matters anymore.

[theimpossiblescheme]

Staging concept: Ophelia carries around a book that she uses to press different flowers and plants. At one point we see her actually pressing one of the flowers Hamlet's given her before, and we get the impression that she wouldn't part with this book for the world. During the "Get thee to a nunnery" scene, Hamlet rips the book out of her hands, and she goes diving after it to make sure he didn't damage it. And during her final "mad scene", she starts tearing out the relevant pages (rosemary, pansies, fennel, columbines, etc.) to give to everyone present. Laertes is the only one to get the significance of his sister giving away parts of her prized possession, and it adds an extra layer to his grief.

[l0viia]

Oikawa x Female! Reader SMUT

‧̍̊·̊‧̥°̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥‧̥·̊‧̍̊ ♡ °̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥ ·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙·̩̩̥͙*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ °̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥ ♡ ‧̍̊·̊‧̥°̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥‧̥·̊‧̍̊

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‧̍̊·̊‧̥°̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥‧̥·̊‧̍̊ ♡ °̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥ ·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙·̩̩̥͙*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ °̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥ ♡ ‧̍̊·̊‧̥°̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥‧̥·̊‧̍̊

Warning!!

𝑃𝑢𝑏𝑙𝑖𝑐 𝑠𝑒𝑥，𝑚𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛𝑠 𝑜𝑓 𝑐ℎ𝑒𝑎𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑔，𝑜𝑟𝑎𝑙 𝑠𝑒𝑥，𝑢𝑛𝑝𝑟𝑜𝑡𝑒𝑐𝑡𝑒𝑑 𝑠𝑒𝑥

‧̍̊·̊‧̥°̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥‧̥·̊‧̍̊ ♡ °̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥ ·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙·̩̩̥͙*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ °̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥ ♡ ‧̍̊·̊‧̥°̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥‧̥·̊‧̍̊

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‧̍̊·̊‧̥°̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥‧̥·̊‧̍̊ ♡ °̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥ ·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙·̩̩̥͙*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ °̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥ ♡ ‧̍̊·̊‧̥°̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥‧̥·̊‧̍̊

‘Where is he’ I mumbled to myself as I walked around the training camp looking for my boyfriend. Kageyama and I have been dating for roughly two years now. We met at a tournament back in middle school. We both had a passion for volleyball so we became friends pretty quickly.

Unfortunately at one of my away games I broke my foot right at the start of my match. After that I couldn’t bring myself to play anymore. That was by far the lowest point in my life, and I thought that things were never going to get better.

That’s when kageyama and I became a thing. He was always there when I needed him and I fell in love with him. I was at every game and practice of his. Usually, I would accompany him to things like this because he liked to be around me 24/7. At least that was the case until a few months ago.

He started to very subtly put distance between us, telling me that it was unnecessary for me to stay late with him after practices or games. I wouldn’t think anything bad about this, just a boyfriend looking out for his girlfriend right? Well, I already have a good feeling about why he had a change of attitude towards being around me so much.

Around 3 months ago I decided to surprise him at one of his games and not tell anybody. I sat at the top near nosebleeds so I could blend into the crowd. That’s when I saw him and same little blonde chick being a little too friendly with each other.

She was smiling up at him with her hands wrapped around his waist. I figured he was seeing her behind my back after I watched my best friend tsukishima confront them at the game.

After the game I decided to go see Tsuki and try to make sense of everything. He told me that she was the new assistant coach and has been all over him after seeing him and I at his practices. I remember smiling to myself thinking about that. I was so glad to hear that kageyama would cheat on me with someone that nasty because I sure as hell wasn’t going to stay with somebody that was so easy to get. And by the look of things that girl in only entertaining him because she wants to feel validated in life by proving that she can have anybody she wants. This means when push comes to shove she won’t stay with him, but that’s what he gets.

I was hurting the first month, constantly questioning myself, Comparing myself to her. I realized pretty early on that no matter what his excuse was going to be, I would never let him get away with this. All I could think of sense then was what I was going to do and how I was going to make him regret doing this to me.

I wasn’t going to break up with him until he was crying and pleading to let him explain himself. I want his to be scared of losing the best thing that’s ever happened to him. Then I’ll take every ounce of hope he has away from him and leave him there with nothing.

I was walking throughout the camp looking for any sign of kageyama when I heard a certain infamous voice calling out to me. “Y/N!” I mentally groaned as I turned around to face the energetic male.

He stood over me smiling as bright as always obviously excited to see me. “Hello, Oikawa” I greeted politely. “Do you happen to know where Kageyeama might be” his smile slightly faltered after hearing my question. “And here I thought you came all the way to Tokyo just for me” I smiled to myself at his tactics before shaking my head.

Silence rang through the air briefly before he sighed lowly. “Are you guys.....still like a thing?” I laughed lightly before meeting his gaze. “For now”. He stayed silent looking at me for any sign of discomfort.

“Look Y/N... Maybe you should go home.Call that little boy after you make it home safely. I don't think you should stay here. I don't want you to see-” “See him and that blonde chick? Yeah, I don't think you made it in time to save me from that information. Anyways I need you to take me to them so I can catch them in the act and officially break up with Kageyeama” He stuttered a bit, tripping over his words before deciding to just stay quiet.

Sighing he smiled and shook his head. “So what’s the plan gorgeous? You gunna put them infront of everyone?” He mumbled a few more suggestions before taking my hand and leading me away from the training area.

“Just a warning sweetheart,Whatever you're about to see is not going to be pretty. I saw them leave towards the dorms before I ran into you. Its been awhile and they still arent back so....” I smiled to myself knowing what he was implying.

Of course I didnt want to see them together, but it was the only way he was actually going to tell the truth and apologize the way I want him to. No, the way I NEED him to. I need to reassure myself that im good enough and that this is the only way I can ensure that.

Oikawa stayed silent for the most part. Every now and then he would let out little hums when I would try to pull my hand away from his. His grip was firm yet gentle. I glanced down at our hands and smiled gently. I wondered why was helping me. I mean, as far as I know, he isn't really the type to do things for anyone other than himself. Part of me wants to think he's doing this because he's a kind person, but , y mind can't help but wonder if he's only helping me to get back at Kageyeama. If you think about it it's not that far off. He spends a lot of his time trying to compete or prove that he is the better person between the two.

I use to be against it until I found out my oh-so-loving boyfriend was cheating on me. Now im going to show him that oikawa is not only better ag volleyball, but at life aswell. Ever sense Oikawa foundout kageyama and I were dating he’s been extra nice to me. Of course he would flirt with me and try to get at me just to piss kageyama off, but I never let it get to my head because the person I planned on spending the rest of my life with was kageyama nobody else.

With that thought running through my head I slowed my footsteps down before coming to a complate stop. “What happened sweetness we’re almost there. Just two more rooms down”. I kept my gaze glued to the floor not really knowing what to say.

“ you know you've always been way to pretty for that loser” I snapped my head up and stared at the man in front of me.

I never really took the time to look at him before. My eyes were always stuck to my boyfriend. I felt myself get shy under his gaze and attempted to divert my eyes away from him. He chuckled before bending down slightly and slowly closed the gap between us.

“You know I've always been better then Kageyama right?” my breath was caught in my throat as my heart pounded loudly in my chest.

He brought his face closer towards mine before lowly whispering in my ear. “I can prove it to you if you'd like~” I pulled back slightly and searched his eyes for any sign of him of him bluffing or joking, but his gaze was stuck on me, and his breathing was slightly heavier than usual.

I took a nervous breath before I tilted my head up and connected our lips lightly. He groaned contently before grabbing the back of my head to deepen the kiss. I placed my hands on his chest and pulled away to try and catch my breath but he pulled me closer not letting me escape his grasp.

He lifted me up and my legs quickly wrapped around his waist. He pushed my back up against the wall and gripped my hips tightly. His mouth left mine, kissing my jaw before moving down to my neck. He let his tongue press against my skin before roughly pulling my skin into his mouth and sucking on it.

I tilted my head back against the wall while letting out quiet patchy moans. He slid his hands up my sides and under my shirt. His hands were cold causing me to shiver under his touch. He grabbed the fabric at the bottom of my shirt before tearing it completely up the middle.

My hands shot up to cover my chest, legs tightening around his waist. My face flushed as I panted, suddenly more aware of our very open situation.

“Someone's going to see us Oikawa” he kissed down my neck and over my chest before moving his hands behind my back and unclasping the red lace fabric that was holding my heavy and soft breasts. “Let them” he spoke confidently before pulling my nipple into his mouth and rolling his tongue over the sensitive nub.

I let my hands fall away from my chest as moans spilled out of my mouth. His hand grasped my other boob as his thumb ran over my hardened nipple that was still exposed out in the open. He released my nipple from his mouth and pulled the other one in, sucking it harshly. He let one of his hands drop down my side while softly caressing my skin.

I felt his hand slip under my skirt and he let his fingers softly rub down my clothed opening. I sighed in pleasure, pushing down on his fingers and rolling my hips.

He detached his lips from my skin and glanced up at me “Does it feel good baby?” his eyes trailed down my body then back to my face. “Mm~” I nodded grinding my hips against his fingers.

I felt the fabric of my panties get moved to the side before the feeling of his cold fingers returned to my folds. He ran his fingers back and fourth spreading my wetness around before slipping two of them into my opening. My moans became more vocal as he started slowly plunging his fingers in and out of me.

“Fuck” he groaned staring up at me. His movements because quicker as I felt myself getting more and more needy. “Oikawa~” I moaned grabbing the back of his head and bringing his lips to mine. I whined into his mouth as he curled his fingers up and started attacking my G spot.

I arched against him as I felt myself getting ready to cum when he pulled his fingers out of me. I let out a whine in protest as he captured my lips in another kiss.

“I’ll let you cum right now princess don’t worry” he placed me down on my feet, eyes glued to my bare chest.

“Take your panties off baby” he asked me, hands touching my hips. I blushed but complied slipping them down passed my knees while crouching slightly.

“Slip off your shoes” he continued to give me small commands while doing nothing more then then stare at my naked body. Soon enough I was completely naked and exposed not only to him, but to everybody that could be walking to their rooms.

“You’re being such a good girl for me Y/N” he whispered kissing me slowly. He trailed his lips down my neck and chest stopping to kiss both my nipples before continuing his trail down my torso.

He set himself down on his knees right in front of me and parted my legs slightly. I stared down at him embarrassed and tried to cover myself but he smacked me hand away and brought his face up to my pussy. I shuddered at the feeling of his breath on my heat and rested my back against the wall behind me.

I felt him slowly drag his tongue from my entrance to my clit as I let out series of shaky moans. He continued his agonizing pace for a few moments before circling my clit with his tongue.

He sucked on it harshly causing my hands to shoot down and grasp the back of his head. “𝐴-𝑎ℎ 𝑚𝑚𝑚𝑚 “ I moaned pushing his head closer to me. He quickened his pace and lapped at my clit greedily while humming in approval at my reactions .

I mewled and thrusted my hips forward while pushing him in. He captured my clit again and repeatedly sucked on the small nub harshly as my legs shook. “ 𝑛𝑛𝑛𝑔ℎ 𝑝𝑙𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑒－“ “𝑓𝑢𝑐𝑘“ I let myself grind down on his face as I came.

He ran his tongue between my folds a few more times before standing up and pressing against me. His clothed member pressed against me as he gripped the back of my hair, pulling it down harshly and kissing me greedily.

He slipped his tongue in my mouth and made me taste myself. “𝐻𝑒'𝑠 𝑛𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟 𝑚𝑎𝑑𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑓𝑒𝑒𝑙 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑔𝑜𝑜𝑑 ℎ𝑎𝑠 ℎ𝑒 𝑝𝑟𝑖𝑛𝑐𝑒𝑠𝑠？“ he thrusted his hips forward,pressing onto me. “𝑛-𝑛𝑜“ I was hardly able to answer him. The feeling of him this close to me is too much to handle and all I can think about is how I’m getting fucked two doors down from my boyfriend and I’m right out in the open.

All they have to do is walk out of the room and we will be caught. As that thought runs through my head I feel my legs get separated again before he hoists me up in the air. Standing in between my legs he rest me on his hips as he pulls his volleyball shorts down, letting his hard dick free.

He stares at my opening while palming the tip of his dick before sliding it in between my slicked folds.

“𝐼'𝑚 𝑔𝑜𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑡𝑜 𝑓𝑢𝑐𝑘 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑟𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑡 ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑒 𝑟𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑡 𝑛𝑜𝑤 𝑝𝑟𝑖𝑛𝑐𝑒𝑠𝑠．𝐼 𝑑𝑜𝑛'𝑡 𝑤𝑎𝑛𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢 ℎ𝑖𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑣𝑜𝑖𝑐𝑒 𝑒𝑖𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟．𝐿𝑒𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑚 𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤 𝑤ℎ𝑜𝑠𝑒 𝑓𝑢𝑐𝑘𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑦𝑜𝑢．𝐿𝑒𝑡 ℎ𝑖𝑚 𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤 ℎ𝑜𝑤 𝑚𝑢𝑐ℎ 𝑏𝑒𝑡𝑡𝑒𝑟 𝐼 𝑎𝑚 𝑎𝑡 𝑚𝑎𝑘𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑓𝑒𝑒𝑙 𝑔𝑜𝑜𝑑“．Oikawa’s eyes were stuck on mine as he trailed his dick between my folds.

My face scrunched up in pleasure as I felt the tip of his length brush over my clit repeatedly. I panted as he teased my entrance and I gripped his shirt, begging for more of his attention.

“𝑢𝑠𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑣𝑜𝑖𝑐𝑒 𝑌／𝑁．𝐼𝑓 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑤𝑎𝑛𝑡 𝑠𝑜𝑚𝑒𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑛 𝑎𝑠𝑘 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑖𝑡“ My face flushed red as I blinked up at him shyly. “𝑝𝑙𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑒 𝑚𝑎𝑘𝑒 𝑚𝑒 𝑐𝑢𝑚 𝑎𝑔𝑎𝑖𝑛 𝑂𝑖𝑘𝑎𝑤𝑎．𝐼 𝑛𝑒𝑒𝑑 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑡𝑜 𝑓𝑢𝑐𝑘 𝑚𝑒－“ “𝐴-𝑎𝑎ℎ“ He pushed in slightly before pulling out again.

He repeated this action twice before completely forcing himself into me. My head hit the wall as I gripped his harshly. I panted heavily as his length stretch me out completely.

“𝑓𝑢𝑐𝑘 𝑦/n 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑓𝑒𝑒𝑙 𝑠𝑜 𝑓𝑢𝑐𝑘𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑔𝑜𝑜𝑑“ he thrusted into me with a little more force and I let out a loud wine trying to pull my hips away from him, the pleasure becoming too much for me to handle. I couldn’t get far before his hands tightened their grip on my hips and he started to groan in pleasure as he rocked out bodies together.

He picked up the pace, sweat forming on his forehead as he watched my chest jump with everyone of his thrust. The sounds of his skin connecting with mine and my moans echoed through the halls as my boyfriends biggest pet peeve fucked me this good.

I tilted my head back and let Oikawa use my body as he pleased, his groans making me more turned on. “𝑡𝑢𝑟𝑛 𝑎𝑟𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑑.” He pulled out and placed me on the ground before turning me around and shoving me down in an arch against the wall.

He entered me quickly and started thrusting into me a lot more harder than before. The new position had him hitting spots inside of me that were never touched before and I pressed myself more into the wall moaning loudly. “𝐹𝑈𝐶𝐾 𝑁𝐺𝐺𝐻!!” Tears formed in my eyes as he fucked me and I felt myself getting close to another orgasm.

My walls tightened around his member and I heard him curse under his breath. After a few more thrust I felt that knot it my stomach quickly coming undone. I cried out in pleasure and my knees almost gave out on me as a came intensely around his dick. He wrapped his arms around my stomach and lifted me up slightly so my feet were off the ground and started pounding into me faster and faster. My hands flew out to hold myself up against the wall and tears fell down my face as he abused my overstimulated hole.

His thrust became more and more sloppy as he chased his high and he let out strings of curses. He leaned over my body and hugged me close as he pumped into me violently and bit down into my shoulder. My head fell down to the side and I whimpered, obediently letting Oikawa use me to satisfy his own pleasures. Tightening his arms his hips snapped into me twice before holding me in place, letting his cum leak into me.

He held me there for a few moments. Groaning and panting loudly as he released his hold on me and started griping my hips again. He gently rolled his hips into mine a few more times before completely pulling out. I felt my legs go out under me and he caught me and lifted me up into the air. Dropping one of his hands quickly he pulled his shorts back over his dick and glanced down at me.

“𝑌𝑜𝑢 𝑜𝑘𝑎𝑦 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑒 𝑝𝑟𝑖𝑛𝑐𝑒𝑠𝑠?” His laughs echoed down the halls as I laid in his arms panting, trying to catch my breath. I closed my eyes and let myself completely catch my breath before nodding. “𝑚 𝑜𝑘𝑎𝑦“ I mumbled as tiredness swept over my entire body.

I felt him take a few steps forward before I heard the sound of him opening a door. I opened my eyes and watched him walk into the room we were JUST fucking by. I stared up at his face as a light smirk decorated his features.

“𝑇ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑖𝑠 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑟𝑜𝑜𝑚．．．” he nodded his head happily as he set me down on his bed before walking over to the bathroom. “𝑊𝑒 𝑐𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑 𝑜𝑓 ℎ𝑎𝑑 𝑠𝑒𝑥 𝑖𝑛 ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑒 𝑂𝑖𝑘𝑎𝑤𝑎．𝑆𝑜𝑚𝑒𝑜𝑛𝑒 𝑐𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑 𝑜𝑓 ，𝑛𝑜 𝑀𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑡 𝑜𝑓 𝑠𝑒𝑒𝑛 𝑚𝑒 𝑐𝑜𝑚𝑝𝑙𝑒𝑡𝑒𝑙𝑦 𝑛𝑎𝑘𝑒𝑑.”

My complaints went unheard as he walked back into the bedroom area and over towards me with what looked like a wet towel in hand. He crouched in front of the bed and parted my legs before gently cleaning up whatever mess he made with me. After he was done he threw that towel in the corner and stood up walking towards his closet. He pulled out a pair of sweats and started to strip. My eyes scanned his body as he undressed in-front of me.

He slipped on the sweats and pulled a plain black T-shirt off its hanger. He chuckled before turning towards me and looking at me gently. He walked towards me and listed my arms up, slipping the shirt on me slowly. He brought his hand up to caress my face as the silence was heavy but comfortable. He bent down and gave me a gentle kiss on my lips that filled my stomach with butterflies, something I haven’t felt in awhile.

He got into the bed and pulled me down into his chest while sighing against the top of my head. “ I want to keep you here with me y/n” I blushed at the way he broke the silence and wrapped my arm around his waist and threw my leg over his torso pulling him closer to me. “I want to stay here with you Oikawa” I shyly stated.

He held me as he sighed contently obviously getting ready to drift off to sleep. “Wait Oikawa my clothes are outside still” he groaned and hugged me closer mumbling a quiet “leave them” before completely falling asleep.

I wasn't expecting any of this to happen, but im so happy it did. I can say that im completely over Kageyeama and I don't need some silly clarification of being “enough” from him. Oikawa has made me feel so much more than enough this past hour then Kageyeama has our entire relationship.

I know that Oikawa doesn't have the best track record of keeping girlfriends, but something tells me that this thing between us, whatever this thing is, it's going to have him in a chokehold for a long ass time.

I might have been looking at Kageyeama this whole time, but nothing will ever get me to take my eyes off this intoxicatingly perfect man. I felt my eyes close as I drifted off to sleep. Where my dreams were filled with nobody other then 𝐻𝐼𝑀．

[sumbreon]

just going over this whole past year, you know how it is

self harm and family death below so that gives you an idea of how its gone i guess

so january started on a nice high, i felt better than i had in a long time and then one week into january it took a complete nosedive to the lowest id felt in years. like i went from starting to talk and managing to push myself to do some stuff i wanted to/would be good for me to wanting to self harm for the first time in seven years. i was sat at work completely dissociated and got jolted out of it by an extremely vivid image of blood pouring out of my arm.

it was a double edged sword because it pushed me to finally reduce my hours at work which i really needed but like it meant i was doing real bad which really fucking sucked with how id been doing the past month. it was agreed with my boss that id start my reduced hours in april so we wouldnt have to mess around with annual leave calculation bullshit and just knowing it was coming helped but i was definitely pretty out of it for those months.

march rolls around, i have a week and a half booked off. im gonna decide on some things i want to do with my extra time after i recover mentally and then my grandmother is in hospital with some dark spot on her bladder and the care home she was in cant look after her anymore and she may have contracted covid in the hospital but its fine she didnt then michael tells me theres gonna be a band 4 coming up in pathology IT but i cant process that right now but its there in the back of my mind constantly then she gets bounced around a few care homes then shes back in hospital then it settles and shes in a care home 5 minutes away from our house but i still havent seen her in like a year and a half at this point and im wracked with guilt because what do i remember about her really? not much it feels like, i worry if shed even recognise me, what would i even say to her? but it doesnt matter because visitors are still limited and id rather my mum and aunties see her cause theyd get more out of it

then its april and my mum just snaps under her own job, i have this extra time at home but i gotta walk on eggshells cause march happened and now this and i have no idea how shes doing mentally because this family is so emotionally repressed so i just hide in my room, basically feeling kinda catatonic and just straight up lying at work like 'yeah its great!'

then may comes around and i do actually start to recover. the band 4 jobs still in the background of my mind but nothing mores been said about it but i cant not think about it. the time goes by so much faster than you think it would but i start drawing again. small canvas size just sketches nothing fancy at all just a minimum something once a week no pressure its okay

june is much the same, the plan had been recover mentally then start applying for jobs elsewhere but then the band 4 was there looming so the plan became wait and see what comes of that, i dont manage to get back to where i was at this time last year but i do my best to not hold it against myself, im getting better thats what matters

july. the band 4 goes up its all thats in my brain. i want to recind my application so i can stop worrying about it. i get the job its full time and day time hours as opposed to the 12-8 ive been doing for years but its too good an opportunity for me to pass up. its means i can get on paper IT experience

august comes around and im due to start my new job on the 8th. its the 7th i go downstairs see my mum and ask her how its going. my grandmother is dead. i start my new job and i say nothing about that, its a struggle though i dont show it im shown a few things but theyre done quickly and easy to stay on top of, i only know one person in this room, my desk is the first one you see when you come into the room so im on edge every time the door opens, i dont want to be doing this right now but sitting at home wont do me any good either so i bear it silently, the funeral is the 26th, i only mention this to my new boss because i need the day off, theres a moment of pity that i cant really deal with. i hate being pitied i know people mean well by it but it makes me bristle. its the 26th my mum starts crying as we get to the crematorium shes gripping my hand tightly and i wont let her go either, i sit there and feel the guilt about not remembering but then my great uncle starts to read her eulogy and its like 'oh. there you are. i do remember you. i remember so much of you' and then im crying too

september and october i mostly just continue to adjust to how things are, this new normal, the new job is good, my new boss is kind, i want to cry

november, the birthday month, the start of self reflection. what do i want out of life, how can i get it, who do i want to be. i never really know, i remind myself that this year has been a struggle and i do my best to be kind to myself, its birthday week and ive kept up the weekly sketching for 6 months now, i only missed one week and i dont feel bad about it. a band 5 has gone up in pathology IT, explicitly for me

its december and its come around so fucking fast, its over already. i get the band 5 we have a nice christmas. i survive. this year had such extreme highs and lows and i honestly have no idea how to like rank this year

i have come to the unfortunate conclusion that working in pathology IT will be temporary, my boss is set to retire july this year, working full time takes too much out of me so i dont have the energy to do things that i want, i miss my hours of 12-8. the plan was always stick it out for a year and see where im at but the hope was that id stay. maybe im not done adjusting but thats for the eden of june to decide.

thank you for reading i love you i hope things go well for you be kind to yourself - eden :] <3

[foreveralonewithmystupidthoughts]

I’m sick and tired of being on my own!

I don’t have any friends, I don’t have a girlfriend, all I do is sit in my room or in this house and do nothing. I’ve been like this forever. I’m just destined to be alone for good. No one wants to be friends, no one would want to date me. And to make matters worse, the person I love and want to be with, doesn’t fucking love me back. She never will.

She probably doesn’t even remember me. All I was to her was a messed up teen. She knew all along what she was doing! Making me trust her, making me feel safe, making me fall in love with her. And then she left, leaving me to deal with all the messed up feelings.

I’m going insane, it’s been over 6 years and I still think about her 24 fucking 7!! First thing when I wake up, last thing at night, I make up stories about her, I dream about her, I go on her Facebook and her website all the time. She knew how I felt, I know she did.

Then after she leaves she comes into where my mum works and sits there staring at me. I was trying so hard not to notice her, but she kept staring at me! Why? Did she feel the same way? I don’t understand. If she didn’t have her kids with her, if they were her kids, then maybe she’d have spoke to me.

Maybe I lost my chance then. But she should have spoke to me. She knew I don’t talk much. She knows every single thing about me. All I want is one of my stories to become real. If I had her then my life wouldn’t need to end. But it won’t happen.

Friends don’t care. I can’t talk to anyone about how I feel. They barely even speak to me now. We use to speak all day everyday. Every time I send them a message they don’t respond.

I feel like a loser. I see couples and friends everywhere. On TV, in Movies, in Magazines, Online, I envy them so badly, but then I get too envious and want to hurt them or destroy them because I haven’t got what they have.

Most 25 year olds, go out, go on holidays with their friends or partners, go out to nightclubs, spend the day together. They hold hands, they kiss, they hold each other, laugh at each other’s stupid jokes. I just want something like that. I’m 25 and I’ve never had a relationship, yes I know there’s no rush, but when you know that you never will have something like that then you get desperate.

Even the people who treated me like shit have someone special. How can they get someone and I can’t? I want to cut myself so bad, I bought new blades just to do it, but I’m scared too.

I don’t want to be alone anymore. I want to hold hands with someone, hold them close to me, kiss them, have them laugh at my stupid jokes and my stupid thoughts, and I could do the same.

I pretend to be happy just so no one can see how miserable I really am or how jealous I am. I’ve gotten so good at it sometimes I even think I am happy.

I don’t want to be here anymore. I don’t want to be on this earth anymore, it’s too painful. Clearly god made me this way because I deserve to be alone and deserve to suffer. I don’t know what I did but it must have been really bad.

I wish I could just lay on my bed at night and drift off to sleep, then not wake up in the morning. I take too many pills on purpose sometimes. I don’t even care if they kill me at some point. I give myself too much insulin too. I put in carbs I didn’t even have just so I can take more insulin in my pump. Then when I have a hypo I don’t have any symptoms anymore, so I wait until it’s on the lowest number then I’ll get help.

No one knows any of this. If they did the pump would probably be taken away from me. I probably wouldn’t be allowed anymore pills. And I’d be stuck having to talk to someone who doesn’t actually care, even though I’m already talking to someone.

But she doesn’t know how I really feel. I want to tell her, I just don’t know how. How do I tell her that I am lonely, and that I don’t ever think I’ll have any friends or relationships. How do I tell her about the person I love? How do I tell her that I think about her all the time, write about her, go on her Facebook and website? How do I tell her I have an obsession with the person I love? I don’t think I can. She might judge me or think I’m a freak. Or she might try to understand and tell me it’s normal.

But what’s normal? What’s normal about wanting to hurt someone you love because they left? What’s normal about any of my thoughts and feelings for her?

All I was to her was another messed up teen that she had to talk to and help. That’s all I was and it’s all I’ll ever be. She don’t think about me like I think about her. She doesn’t remember me like I remember her.

I’m just going to try imagine a world without me in it. And I bet I’ll find the best world ever. Maybe I should just leave this world behind. I’ve suffered long enough, I’ve spent 25 years in this cruel, helpless world and what has it done for me? Just given my arms thousands of scars, inside and out, made me a childhood sexual abuse survivor, bullying, abandonment, hate. I’m fed up with suffering at the hands of this world.

[beast-feast]

Heavy vent, don't comment on it. I need to get feelings out.

I wish my last visit to the psych ward helped because I feel like I'm about to go back tomorrow and I'm just scared, I'm so scared that I'll have the exact same problems as before. Me not getting helped, my mother just. Being negligent.

I need to write something to send someone, since I can't speak to them directly. But all I can think about is the note that nobody will ever read because I'm too scared to post it because if I live I'll be seen as an attention-seeker, and if I don't everyone will wonder what happened. People in my household will get mad with me if I live.

All I can think about writing is more notes, more additions that I didn't get to say in the first and I just. How can I possibly say anything else other than how bad things have been? I just want to apologize for being away so long and I'm so scared that one of the first things that'll happen is me being unprepared to shoulder the weight again. I want to be available for people but I'm at the lowest point of my life. I'm so scared of being demeaned and feeling judged and feeling like I'm a sideline for people and a punching bag and someone to be pushed around and I WANT to be that somewhat. I WANT people to just lean on me but I feel so horrible when I can't.

I can hardly console people and it never feels like I help, it never feels like I ever do the right thing. The political climate is in shambles and every fucking day since the overturning I've had to sit in fear of being raped again. Every day I have to remember my cousin and how close I was to becoming a parent at 8.

17 and a half years of neglect, sexual physical mental and emotional abuse. Gaslighting, my mother trying to kill me with her bare hands and then having the BALLS to turn around and cry and say she has to give me away the second I come out with all her abuse.

I'm about to relapse for the third time in two weeks. I just want things to be normal, I want my friends to be happy and I want to be happy with my friends.

I miss Veni. I miss him and I hate that I still care about him because I'm so SCARED of people now. I don't know who to trust anymore and it terrifies me.

It feels like I lost so many friends recently and I just want things to be okay. I want to be able to fix things and help people and feel like a good person.

I'm so scared of being cancelled because I like characters made by bad people. I feel like saying I basically disowned them from the creator doesn't mean anything and I'll be labelled as a bad person.

I feel like I'm being used and I'm so tired I'm so fucking tired, I wish that I was strong enough to keep going and I wish I was strong enough to stop. I just want to go back but I'm scared if I talk to people again too soon I'll just do something to hurt them again, I'm just. I can't breathe. It hurts, everything hurts so much.

I wish I had a family who cared, that I was better able to reach out to people and take care of myself, and I wish I was a good person and a good friend who's able to make other people happy. I wish I didn't hate myself because I have so many good people to talk to and that I want to know better but I don't feel like I deserve it, it feels so fake and I'm so scared that I'm only being followed for fanart. That my value is reduced to what I can give to other people and nothing else.

I just want to feel like a person who matters to other people, I just don't want to keep hurting like this. I don't want to keep being scared of everything I say being the wrong thing. I just want to be happy and do what I want to do, and have relationships with people where everything is okay and I don't feel like a total fuck-up.

I wish I didn't have to be reduced to just admitting that I got so close to attempting that I wrote something down.

I miss so many people and I feel like the mistakes I made could've been avoided had I just been more patient, had I just been more able to listen and help and do the right thing and be a better person.

I'm so sorry.

I feel like I failed everyone. Again.

[shiedagabe]

Fortunate Forgetfulness

Credit: Unknown (If you own this GIF please DM me so I can properly credit you)

Genre: Smut

Warning: NSFW / Blood Fetish

Pairing: L!Joker x Reader

Word Count: 1300

Today might've been the slowest day of your life. You sat behind the counter for countless hours waiting for costumers but nothing happened. The only people who actually came in the shop were either men in a rush or elderly people, but you didn't see anyone else. Did I forget something? You asked yourself. And then, when you finally looked outside, you noticed it - a huge fire coming from the hospital. It finally clicked. J went to visit Dent at his lowest point.

You immediately rang your boss but she didn't pick up the phone. You were desperate and anxious. Your foot was tapping rapidly on the floor and you were starting to hyperventilate faster and harder. Each rushing man that passed, ring from the phone and tap on the solid wooden floor left you more and more worried for your own sake. You were sure he was going to kill you. Sooner or later he would find out you weren't there and then you would finally learn the definition of pain. As soon as she picked up the phone with the sweetest "Hello?" you had ever heard you rapidly spewed an incomprehensible word diarrhea that neither her nor you understood. She immediately asked if you were alright to which you replied that you were simply worried sick for your significant other's well-being since he was in the hospital since the fire had started. You asked if you could take the day off so you could see if he was doing alright, to which she replied you should. Without hesitation, you put your apron down and rushed as fast as possible out of that store and immediately ran home. She was the sweetest person you had met and you would've considered her a good friend if not for the fact that you didn't see each other often.

As soon as you were standing in front of door you fumbled around for your keys but you couldn't find them. You must've left them at the store when you were heading home. But that didn't matter now, you weren't turning back. You shamefully knocked on the door and a very angry J answered it.

- You are two hours late. Where were you? - He said while looking directly into your eyes. You could feel your soul had given up and, at this point, was just admiting defeat.

- I was working. I'm sorry I forgot, J. It won't happen again, promise... - You replied in a tired and worn out voice.

- Oh trust me, this won't happen again, I'll make sure of it.

- Wait, what do you me-

Before you could reply you felt something knock you out. It wasn't him, he was completely still, but he wasn't worried about it, either.

You woke up and you were terrified. You were in a completely darkened room with nothing but a spotlight shining on your face. Suddenly, J came out of the shadows. He started walking towards you with a menacing stare. As soon as you tried to move your arm to stop him you noticed you were tied to a big wheel, like a ritualistic carnival.

- W-what're you doing?! - You were so scared you couldn't hear yourself think over the sound of your thumping heart. You know him well enough to understand that he'd be perfectly capable of doing something like this if he ever got uncontrollably mad.

- Welcome, to the wheel of fortune! - He laughed aloud as if he had an audience. - Due to um.. budgetary constraints it only has two sides. You'll have to figure them out on your own. Good luck! ‐ He maniacally cackled with malicious intent.

- No, no, no, wait! - You said before he turned the wheel with his hands. You could feel your blood rushing to your side and you were starting to feel lightheaded and dizzy. You tried to tell him to stop but you couldn't, your body was giving up on you extremely quickly.

As soon as you were about to pass out you felt a sharp knife land next to your head. You were so terrified you couldn't feel your heart pump anymore and you would have certainly reached for your pulse if you weren't tied to the wheel. He put you upright and removed the knife from the side of your head. You swore you thought it ripped out a couple of hairs.

- Congratulations! You're a um.. lucky winner!

- Great, j-just great. - You took a deep breath and calmed yourself down. - What do I get now?

He put the knife up to your cheek and scarred you without saying a word. He slowly started kissing and licking the scar, covering his lips with a delicious shade of red. He was dragging the knife up until he reached your lips. You slowly envelloped your lips and soon both of you had your lips covered in blood. You were simultaneously terrified and excited but you didn't know which one of the two you should feel right now. While you were kissing sensually he decided to move his hands down from your neck and into your tits. He started meticulously rubbing your nipples while he simultaneously grabbed you leg with his other hand. You had practically forgotten what had happened and the best part was yet to come.

He started moving his hand down on your waist, into your other leg and, finally, into your pussy. You weren't particularly wet after what had happened today but he sure was about to make you. While he laggardly rubbed your clit you were softly moaning and biting your lip in unadulterated pleasure. <More.> You whispered. You knew you were desperate and you couldn't stop yourself. You wanted to be his and at this point you would do anything for him. He started to move seductively while fingering you. He was slowly feeling your insides and you were absolutely delighted by it. You told him to stop for a second, muttering something in his ear which he followed to a T. He lowered the wheel and let your legs free by cutting the rope with the knife he was carrying earlier. You immediately wrapped his legs around his waist and were trying to pull him in but he was taking things a bit more slowly. He rubbed the tip of his dick against your wet pussy while laying on top of you. You were slowly kissing each other. However, while he was biting your lip, it started to bleed, so he started licking tenderly. Needless to say, that by itself got you got even more turned on. You scratched his back and pulled him in, biting his neck passionately. He knew this was the time to strike so he stuck his dick in you. That was it, that was when your chips were cashed. You felt nothing but pure ecstasy and you wanted much, much more. He started off slow but he quickly picked up the pace and, coincidentally, so did your breathing. With each thrust your mind was feeling more and more blank with thoughts about him. You could even say you felt overwhelmed now, but at the time you couldn't get enough of it. He grabbed both of your wrists and started thrusting harder. You always enjoyed it when he was serious around you, it left you more and more excited for what was about to come. He was kissing your neck and you were moaning as loud as you could. There were no restraints now, neither physical nor psychological. You freed one of your hands and you started intensely scratching his back again. That was a sure-fire way of showing him that you wanted everything he had to offer and more. And not only did he offer it, he also delivered. He gave everything he had to make you happy in that particular moment, even though he was the one in charge, still. J started to speed up even more even though you thought he was close to exhaustion and he was also starting to grab your hand extremely hard so you knew what was about to come. He was a big man, however, so he was starting to hurt you a little more than you had expected. You slowly pushed him away from you, got on your knees and started blowing him. He pushed your head straight into his base and came all over your mouth. You licked your lips in satisfaction and gave him a quick peck on the lips. You noticed that both of you had equally enjoyed that experience, regardless of that awkward start. And, if you haf to be honest, you'd like to try it again soon.

[hansolmates]

distance learning (m)

banner done by the beautiful @eerieedits​

summary; after their first hookup, jungkook isn’t so sure whether you’re serious about being exclusive. after all, people say things during sex. jungkook takes it in his own hands to figure out where you stand, and he realizes soon enough that eavesdropping is a bad habit pairing; neighbor!jungkook x (f) reader genre/warnings; fluff, humor, crack, insecure!jk, unresolved sexual tension, stressed!mc, this is really just unnecessary drama bc drama is fun™, sexting, dom kook’s still a meanie in control, posession kink, cock slapping, a blowjob, cockwarming, unprotected, creampie, squirting, (wrap the pickle before u tickle folks) and of course the excessive use of the petname [redacted] w/c; 6.1k a/n; haaaaaa three months later im finally posting pt 2! i figured that no matter how many times i edit/reread at this point i think it’s time to finally let this beast go!!! enjoyyy click here for part 1: remote learning drabbles; 01

if you enjoy this, please considering giving our pasta couple a like n’share💚

It’s been a week since the thing.

The remote-controlled vibrator thing. 

The whole sappy-love-confesion-during-sex thing. 

Jungkook is antsy, tail tucked in, perpetually wondering whether he went too far. You seemed to like it, and Jungkook definitely loved it. It was spicy and dirty and hot, and at the same time Jungkook thought he really made progress in expressing his feelings for you. Not only that, you said you liked him back!

At least, he thought you did. 

“I really said I’d feed her lasagna and cum in the same sentence,” Jungkook bemoans into his pillow, which still lingers faintly of your Redken shampoo. “I’m disgusting. She thinks I’m disgusting.” 

People say things during sex, Jungkook knows that. In the throes of passion and pleasure, people will say anything that comes to their mind, anything that fits the mood. Of course, you’d be tied in and say you like him back. But did you like him back as a friend? As a fuckbuddy? As something more? 

“Fucking text her,” Taehyung is tired of Jungkook’s wallowing, everytime he checks in on the app developer he’s brooding in one of three places. Today’s his bedroom. Taehyung dips under the blankets, and steals Jungkook’s pillow right under his nose.

Jungkook suppresses a whimper, face melding into the blankets. Now that pillow is going to smell like Taehyung.

“Text her what,” Jungkook replies despondently. 

“I don’t know, something along the lines of ‘I wanna follow through with my proposition of feeding you my cum and lasagna—not simultaneously. Wanna go on a date this weekend?’ It’s that simple,” Taehyung gets up in Jungkook’s face, dark eyes forcing him to bore right in. “Want me to do it for you?” 

“Noo, I’m an adult I can—”

“I did it for you.” 

Jungkook nearly knocks into Taehyung’s hard head, sitting up straight when he notices his phone behind his roommate’s back. This is what he gets for sharing passwords. Thankfully, the message is cleaner than Taehyung’s words, and you’ve already replied. 

[1:23] Jungkook: would you like to go out for dinner this weekend? pasta and wine?

[1:25] You: it’s a busy week this week 🥺 raincheck? 

“Was the sex that bad?” Taehyung frowns, reading the message twice. 

“N-no,” Jungkook is sweating. He isn’t sure anymore. 

Taehyung hands Jungkook back his phone, slowly, as if you’ll reply back with a change of your mind. Jungkook is a deflated balloon on his bed, feeling like a bum in his ratty sweater and a dateless weekend. 

“It’s just that,” Taehyung puts a hand on his lip, mulling, “busy people don’t reply that fast. Like even if she wasn’t busy, there’s a fifteen-minute leeway before replying.” 

This silly rule overrides Jungkook’s mind for the rest of the week. 

The gyms have been reopened for months, and Jungkook’s trainer misses him dearly. Jungkook meets with Saeroyi in the morning, eager to get a few jabs in with some fresh equipment. He tries to move on, distract himself with a couple of pumps and a match with Saeroyi. It feels great to sweat it off, but it doesn’t help sway Jungkook’s incessant thoughts. 

The ball is in your court now, Jungkook has nothing to do but wait. Some people are just bad texters, maybe you just happened to have your phone near you when Taehyung sent the message. Maybe you just wanted to cut Jungkook off as quickly as possible so you decided to reply fast and rip the band-aid. 

No, you’re definitely not that cold-hearted. 

Re-entering his apartment complex, his eyes linger towards where your room lies on the first floor. It’s all the way at the end of the hallway, and he’s tempted to just confront you and make sure that what you and him really had is indeed, over. Conversely, you could just really be having a bad week and you genuinely do want a raincheck. 

Jungkook’s eyes trail to his form. Still in his gym clothes, and a little sweaty from the travel time. If he gets caught, he can just tell you he’s doing a cooldown by running across the hallways. Not the first time it’s happened, afterall it led him to you at one point. 

He breaks into a soft jog, making a beeline to your front door. His feet squish against your old welcome mat. You haven’t changed it since Halloween, and he smiles fondly at the black scripted “Boo Y’all” written in script next to a chibi-ghost. 

His heart beats faster as his hand lingers by the door, ready to knock. Deep breaths. Who knows, he could just be overthinking (like usual.) 

“Fuck, Hobi!” 

Jungkook freezes, his knuckles a centimeter away from your door. He backs up as if he’s been burned. His heart has fallen all the way down to his ass, and intends to stay there because now he feels like a damn fool. 

The bed is creaking relentlessly, a rhythmic pattern that has Jungkook’s face crumbling at every spring. Jungkook’s face hovers over the door, his ear brushing against the wood. 

“C’mon, bunny,” the male voice is teasing, “you know you love having me over. It would satisfy both of us if you’d just let it go.” 

Bunny. A cute pet name, for sure. The way it rolls off the stranger’s tongue is natural, as if he’s been saying it for years. But what about being his doll, is that not good enough? 

You’re huffy, taking deep breaths. He doesn’t want to hear anymore. Jungkook has put himself through enough self-wallowing for the week. What if he was just a stepping stone to meeting new people that will satisfy you better? What if you just needed one good orgasm to get your flow back, and Jungkook’s job is done? Sure, there were no strings attached when he proposed to have sex with you, but he thought… 

No more thinking. Jungkook jogs away from the door, even going so far is to jog all the way up to the penthouse. 

He hates this. 

You hate this. 

It’s been five days since Hoseok’s arrival, and you are going bonkers. Why couldn’t he get a hotel or an AirBnB? Because he’s cheap as fuck, that’s why. Your dinky cousin has been clinging to you like a lonely koala, and while you found it cute in the 5th grade, it doesn’t translate well nearly two decades later. 

Every morning is the same. You make a subpar toast and Nutella breakfast, letting Hoseok’s slices go cold as you log in for work. You’ve been clocking in earlier in the hopes to finish the majority of your tasks before Hoseok wakes up, because by then you can barely function. Once he wakes up, he’s relentless, bouncing on the bed and talking your head off while you try to concentrate on whatever your boss is telling you. Whenever he jumps too hard, your cheap mattress causes your laptop to fly, and the only thing you can do is curse him out. Sometimes he plays Disney movies and sings in tandem, choreography and all. 

You know that Hoseok is stressed and this is his outlet, and you don’t have it in you to stop his incessant habits. He’s visiting your area because of a lucrative job offer nearby and the interviews are sporadic, making Hoseok linger in your apartment for hours at a time until he’s summoned for whatever test they want to throw at him. 

Most of the interviews are in the evening, and it’s when you can clock back in and finish your leftover assignments while Hoseok is also working. By the time he returns, you’re dog tired and so is he. 

Every night, you try to move away from Hoseok’s clingy self, as he grapples onto your waist and slings a thigh over your belly. You wish it were someone else sharing the bed with you. 

If you bring Jungkook into the picture however, you’d be burnt for the week. Complete crumbs. It would be too much stimulation for you, having to balance work, Hoseok’s incessant attitude, and putting on a face for Jungkook. Your relationship with the penthouse neighbor is barely budding, hardly watered considering Hoseok’s sudden visit. You cling to the fact that in a couple days you would be giving your undivided attention to Jungkook, most of your priorities out of the way, and most importantly, you’ll have your own room back. 

Maybe you could surprise him by giving him a pasta dinner, just like he proposed. 

Unable to get the thought out of your head, you blindly reach for your phone on the nightstand. It’s late, very late for a workday. The blue screen burns your eyes a bit, but you're determined to at least check up on Jungkook. You can’t take too long, otherwise you won’t be able to sleep and get him out of your head. Dear, unassuming cousin Hoseok is fast asleep next to you, due to the fact it’s nearly midnight. Making sure not to disrupt him, you carefully cup your phone in your hands, putting it on the lowest light setting. 

[11:54] You: hey, hope work hasnt been as draining for u as it’s been for me  ☠️  what’s your opinion on pasta sauces, red or white? 

Jungkook is normally a fast texter, at least from your experience. It’s you that’s the sporadic texter, sometimes taking hours to reply, other times in seconds. It never really mattered until now, however. But it takes five, ten, and finally fifteen minutes before you get a response. 

[12:09] Jungkook: ??? 

You frown, wondering what you said wrong. 

[12:10] You: do you not wanna do pasta anymore? Are you craving something else now?

[12:10] Jungkook: i don’t think it’d work out 

[12:10] You: why? 

[12:11] Jungkook: im sure you know why, bunny. 

Strange. He’s never called you bunny before, and in your opinion you think he’d be the bunny in the relationship—soft and cuddly on the outside, and an absolute horn ball in bed. Is this some sort of weird power play? Is he being passive aggressive on purpose? Whatever this game is, you’re not into it. Grumbling under your breath, you snake out of bed, looking blindly for your slippers in the dark. You’ll be in and out of Jungkook’s apartment in ten minutes. 

Just as your hand brushes the doorknob, your new roommate calls for you. 

“Bunny?” Hoseok calls blearily, and you’re staring straight at his cookie-printed eye mask, “what time is it, where are you going?” 

“Um, out,” you reply shortly, “I forgot I left my laundry in the dryer.” 

“Oh, m’kay. Come back soon, y’know I can’t sleep alone.” 

It’s then you realize. Bunny. Jungkook thinks that Hoseok and you are a thing. He really needs to stop eavesdropping on you. 

You feel your pussy frown. Your cousin is such a cockblock and he doesn’t even know it. Without an answer, you slip through your door and into the first free elevator. As you zing up the floors with the magical 1234 code, you work and rework your hair in and out of its style, wondering if you’ll look more presentable with your hair messy or thrown back. 

As soon as you reach the penthouse, you burst into action. “Jungkook!” you cry, pounding the front door, “it’s a misunderstanding, open up!” 

The door immediately swings open after the first three knocks, and you punch Taehyung in the chest. 

“You look awful,” Kim Taehyung drawls. Taehyung is wearing nothing but a cranberry red silk kimono, and you have to avert your eyes and focus on his face, which is even worse because he’s looking at you like an all-knowing psychic. 

“Gee, thanks,” you try to move past him, but he’s blocking the door. 

“Jungkook’s in a meeting with some foriegn developers,” Taehyung talks with his hands, pretending like he has any idea of the nature of his roommate’s job, “when it’s this late he doesn’t leave his office until morning. Door’s locked.” 

“Well then, can you relay a message?” 

“Depends, is this message going to hurt him further?” 

Oh my goodness, when Taehyung wants to be he is such an enabler. “Tell Jungkook he’s done wallowing. Instead of jumping to conclusions, maybe he should’ve just asked me why we couldn’t go on a date this week.” 

“You could’ve also just told him you have a man on the side.” 

“Ohmygod you two are two iotas of a combined braincell!” you shove your hands in your pocket, hotly scrolling through your phone so you can shove a picture in his face. “This is Jung Hoseok, my cousin who derailed my plans this week by crashing in my too-tiny apartment and forced me to raincheck with Jungkook. He’s a blabbermouth and would tell everyone—my parents, my grandparents, my great-aunts—about Jungkook if he found out I was dating, and I’m not ready for that,” you zoom in on the picture, despite the fact that the screen is practically touching Taehyung’s nose, “and the reason Hoseok calls me bunny is not sexual—you two are fucking gross—I had front tooth problems in elementary school and I had a brace on my two big teeth, it was not pretty.” 

“Ah, bunny.” Taehyung echoes with wide eyes, looking at you as if you’re now the one with sage wisdom, “it all makes sense now.” He gulps, taking in the old photo of a mini-Hoseok and you, yourself frowning to cover your huge braces and Hoseok trying to pull your gums apart with his greasy little fingers. 

Satisfied by Taehyung’s evident squirming, you decide you’re too tired to further this interaction. “Tell the other half of your cell for me, will ya?” You’re already turning away, pressing repeatedly at the elevator button, “I would love to go on a date with him as soon as he gets his head out of his ass.” 

Jungkook is tired, but not tired enough to murder Taehyung and make it look like an accident. 

When he has late meetings, Taehyung is usually quieter around the apartment, and even gets Jungkook a hot meal once he wakes up in the afternoons. Today, Jungkook slept through and through. Normally he’d wake up midway to Taehyung’s television dramas, or the clanging of last night’s dishes but nope, not a peep. 

And today’s hot meal is takeout from Jungkook’s favorite ramen restaurant. That only means one thing—something has gone to shit and Taehyung feels guilty. 

Jungkook sips his tonkotsu impossibly slow, hearing Taehyung’s words—your words from last night—clear as day. Taehyung even describes in detail where the nickname bunny comes from, down to how miserable you looked in the photo with your monstrously metal-bent teeth. Oh, how he wishes he can swaddle you between the blankets, hold you and comfort you while you deal with your family. 

[2:45] Jungkook: doll, im so sorry

[2:45] Jungkook: please, i booked us a weekend at that new spa that just opened downtown. The tickets are flex, so if your cousin doesn’t leave by then week we can always reschedule 

[2:51] Jungkook: baby doll… 

This is far worse than believing you didn’t like him. Now Jungkook is antsy, knowing you deserve all the space in the world because of how silly he was being. You owe him nothing. If he just waited it out until you were ready, he wouldn’t be in this mess. He’s potato-esque throughout the day, thankfully Taehyung gives him space as he watches hours of mindless television. 

You don’t reply until very late into the night. 

[10:10] You: IM ALIVE--barely!! And mr. jeon, you’re not only a triple texter, but an ellipsis texter???? You’re asking for trouble

Jungkook has no shame, immediately texting you back. He can’t help it, he’s smitten. 

[10:12] Jungkook: taehyung explained everything. It’s all his fault. Don’t ask why, it’s his fault. Im so sorry. 

[10:12] You: mm, it’s okay. Just a misunderstanding. I was pretty upset last night, but i’ve been pretty tired this week so my fuse is short. 

[10:14] Jungkook: you should go to sleep now, doll. We’ll have time together after your cousin leaves

[10:14] You: just a couple more minutes. Miss u and your cute face 

[10:16] Jungkook: 

[10:16] Jungkook: will this hold u off until saturday?

Jungkook is a pile of goo. Pink, warm, happy heart-glittered goo. It takes a minute for you to reply, and for that whole minute Jungkook is kicking his legs under the sheets of his bed like an eager five-year old who just gave his crush his Valentine. Maybe it’s taking you so long to reply because you’re trying to send a selfie of your own, running off to the bathroom to take a cute selfie if your cousin is asleep in bed. 

[10:19] You: fuck, i kno that’s supposed to be a cute selfie, but i want you so bad. I want to sit on your face, let your lips glisten with my pussy as i cum all over that pretty face

[10:19] You: i wanna touch myself so badly but fuckin’ hoseok is out here snoring like he’s gon hack a lung. Panties are so wet 🥺🥺 your doll is needy for you, wanna be played with

[10:20] Jungkook: lfjsdl;fkjs;fjsoisfoisljsdfsdklfjsdklf 

He throws his phone across the bed, feeling himself twitch in his red flannel pyjama bottoms. The thought of you so hot and needy when you’re ten floors down has Jungkook absolutely livid. He doesn’t know how he’s going to talk to you, comfort you without missing you like crazy. 

Jungkook thinks back to what he has in his fridge. His contractor sent him a cheese assortment, maybe he can bring it down pretending to be a friendly neighbor. Maybe Hoseok can go to the convenience store to conveniently grab a bottle of wine. He can make both of you cum in five minutes, flat. 

Akin to a dumb, horny teenager, he sighs. He rubs his palm longingly over his member. He’s horny, but he’s also eager to see your face. Talk to you, get reacquainted with your routine and sneak his way into it. He wants to be a part of your life, and he’s hoping you will too. 

[5:02] You: Jungkook, you left me hanging last night

[5:05] Jungkook: baby doll… i wouldnt have been able to handle myself if we continued

[5:06] You: so you decided to dip :( 

[5:06] You: could u play with your doll a lil bit, kook? Hobi left for another interview

[5:08] You: PNG.0901

Jungkook was a fool to believe that you would drop him like that. No, Jungkook can see now that you two are a match made in heaven. You have a bite, never afraid to speak your mind when needed. This translates to a hunger you shamelessly share with Jungkook, both sexual and romantically intimate. He almost wishes he could’ve seen you act like a bitch to Taehyung last night, he can only imagine how sexy you looked telling him off. 

He has the technology to blow up your picture, the one that’s currently having him close his laptop and shove it to the side. He spreads his legs further across his glass desk, trying to find comfort between his tight pants as he absorbs every bit of your skin. 

It’s nothing too risque, but it’s nothing short of sensual. The room is dark, but it’s very clearly a picture of your hand between your thighs. Again, you’re between your wall and bed, squished between your office chair with your legs spread as far as they can go. Your skin is so soft looking, plush as you press two fingers between your damp panties. Adorable. 

[5:12] Jungkook: you know why i never replied last night? Because i was too busy jacking off to your dirty words doll. U really need your mouth washed

[5:12] You: wanna wash it with something else🍆

[5:12] You: please kook, i need something. Hoseok will come home soon and i might rip his head off. Help prevent a murder

Jungkook chuckles, clutching his phone closer to his body. He loves how much you’re opening up to him. Last week feels like so long ago, how you were all flushed and wide-eyed at the proposition of sex. He thinks you two can have a lot of fun getting to know each other, both emotionally and physically. 

[5:15] Jungkook: i was gonna wait until i sent this, but i think my doll needs it. Here’s what i was doing last night

[5:17] Jungkook: MP4.13

He… has a meeting in five minutes. A very important, very serious meeting. Jungkook jacked off enough last night, now it’s your turn. He hopes you like it. It’s not a very long video, barely a twenty-second clip of him fisting his cock. Taehyung was still home at the time, so he had to keep quiet. However, he couldn’t get the image of you out of his head that night, rubbing your thighs together in a cramped mattress as you try to erase the dirty thoughts of him. A murmur of your name, and the image of his precum dripping down his knuckles. You hope it’s enough. 

[5:34] You: u make everything so much easier💜✨

[5:35] You: MP4.234

Two minutes. The video you send is even shorter than his, barely fifteen seconds. You’re in a much more comfortable position, horizontal on the bed. Your shirt is ridden up to the underside of your breasts, one hand clutching your bare breast so hard he can see your cotton plush skin bulging between your fingers. The other hand has your panties shifted to the side, three fingers in your sopping cunt. 

“Mmh—fuck, f-uck Jungkook—” the words are mere breaths, puffs of air as you reach your orgasm. 

His call connects. He nearly drops his phone on the glass.  

“Jungkook!” Andreas from Germany wishes him brightly, “you look great, glowing even!” 

Jungkook blushes, and mutters something about having to go to the bathroom before they start. 

Taehyung makes himself scarce on Saturday. He packs a duffel bag for himself and takes the PlayStation, knowing it’ll be a long weekend at Jimin’s. 

Jungkook is on livewire for the morning. He even express-delivers a pasta roller to his house, and he spends all morning testing out the perfect pasta dough. His black apron is covered in flour, and he can barely comprehend the tutorial that’s teaching him on his flatscreen. 

He’s on autopilot. He hasn’t contacted you since he sent that selfie, and he doesn’t intend to. Jungkook understands why you made yourself scarce in the beginning of the week, preferring to raincheck and pin your relationship for a better time. Jungkook’s brain is overridden with you, swollen with thoughts of you. You would never be able to focus if you kept in contact like you did last night, especially if you can’t get away from Hoseok. 

Absence surely makes the heart grow fonder. 

Slapping his hands against his trousers, he surveys his handiwork. His pasta is appropriately floured and wrung, each handful of fresh dough wrapped in little nests. Off the stove is a bechamel sauce, a base ready to be cooked in whatever kind of pasta dish you want. He thinks the two of you would have fun making your own non-traditional pasta dishes. 

The soft knocks on his front door interrupts his train of thought, and he knows it’s you. 

You stand in front of the door, impossibly small in a large shirt and a plain pair of leggings. At the sight of Jungkook, a smile as warm and sweet as hot chocolate worms its way to your face, and you collapse into his arms. 

He sighs gratefully, sinking into your small body. When he pulls away, he can’t help but frown at your apparent exhaustion. You must’ve come back from something tedious, because sweat dots your brow and your eyes are still puffy and dark. Your chest arches bonelessly into his, hoping to melt in his embrace. 

“Hi,” you say.

“Hey,” he replies. 

“It’s Saturday.” 

“It is Saturday.” 

You rub your nose between the fabric of his button down, “I should’ve been more specific when I wanted to raincheck on you,” you murmur into the white cotton. 

“No, I’m sorry for jumping to conclusions,” Jungkook whispers, even though you’re the only two people on the floor, “I’ll make it better, yeah? I’m going to love you so good tonight, won’t have to lift a finger—” 

You shake your head, looking at him calmly. “Jungkook, it’s been a long week. Hobi got the job, I spent all this morning moving his two-ton speaker set into his new apartment. I don’t want anything gentle. I want you to rail me into next week,” Jungkook chokes on his saliva when you reach to cup his dick through his pants, already sporting a chub, “fuck me breathless. I want—no, I need this.”

Anything for you, but Jungkook isn’t going to let your mouth runneth over that easily. He wants that too, obviously. But again, you’ve made him wait. 

Bending slightly, Jungkook whispers darkly into your ear, “Who said you can decide the rules here, doll?”  he’s been waiting all week to slip back into this persona, one that has you shivering delightfully under his touch. A small, secret smile tucks itself under your lips as you tilt your head down, but Jungkook catches it. It shows you’ve missed it too. He lets your sneaky smile  slide for now, only because he’s missed you so much and you’ve had a long day. 

“If I wanna fuck you rough, I’ll fuck you rough. If I want to edge you until you're sobbing on the corner of the kitchen table, I’ll do it,” Jungkook spits every declaration into your skin, biting at your shoulder so hard you cry deliciously. 

He drags you over to the living room, and he could sing at how easily you follow directions. Both of you have been tied up this week, and some hard sex would definitely ease that frustration, “Knees,” Jungkook commands, and you waste no time sinking to the floor, hands atop your knees. 

You look up through your lashes, eyes big and glassy. His poor girl is tired, and he finds it all the more attractive that you’re willing to push that aside to make eachother feel good. 

“Pretty, pretty,” he chants, pulling down his pants and letting his dick spring free, “suck.” 

You waste no time, and he watches as your eyes dilate over the expanse of his cock, half-hard and ready for your mouth. Your nails dig into your knees as you start with featherlight kisses, finally turning into sloppy smacks as you lick all over his dick. 

Jungkook groans, weaving a hand into your hair to force his dick down your throat. You gag at the sudden intrusion, but it doesn’t stop you from taking it like a champ. Hard, deep thrusts that he’s sure you can feel all the way in your stomach. You gag at each thrust, but don’t let up as your hot tongue wraps him up and licks at the pre-cum. 

“Fuuuuck, doll,” he rips you away, his now hard dick springing away. He’s a little shaky on his knees, but he plants his feet down as he grips his cock, slapping the tip of it across your cheek. It smears your face, glossing your flushed cheeks in a mixture of your saliva and pre-cum. “Are you trying to make me cum first? So sweet, you don’t even care if you cum tonight, hmm? You owe me, making you believe you had another man.” 

This isn’t true, of course. The both of you know it was just miscommunication, but it doesn’t hurt to play it up for pleasure. 

“N-no Kook, I’m yours,” you grapple at his pants, pulling them down so he can get them off completely. 

“Right. You’re. Mine.” With every punctuated word is a light slap to your cheek, and you take it. His cock bounces right off of you, until you finally move your head to suckle at the engorged tip, “I’m keeping you forever, doll. Don’t you know that?” 

Throughout this whole process, you don’t move, other than the minute clawing at your knees. You’re so good to him. Jungkook pulls away and ignores the ache in his member for now, taking off your clothes for himself. It’s like unwrapping a gift, revealing every bit of skin reserved for his viewing. “So sexy,” he remarks once he’s got you bare, pulling you onto the couch. He’s still in his button down shirt, his date night shirt, sleeves rolled up to the elbow. However, he lets your hands inch under the stiff fabric, feeling for his taut muscle. 

He guides your aching cunt to his cock, sinking you down. It’s a tight fit, and you both moan at the brush of contact. Despite not being prepped, you’re still slick, and it makes up for it. He doesn’t thrust up or anything, just guides his lips to yours with a threadbare brush of his finger. 

“Kook, d-do you want me to move?” you mumble against his cherry-flavored lip balm. 

“Good dolls don’t move until they’re told,” your eyes widen innocently at the statement, and you crumple against his mouth, at his next words, “cum like this.” 

“Awh shit, please no,” you tear up, burying your head between the crook of his neck, “I can’t wait.” 

“Thought you wanted me to fuck you into next week. You can’t do this one little favor for me?” he’s being so mean, and you hate him for it. Haven’t you earned it? “C’mon baby, I thought you wanted me?” 

It’s silent, save for the soft Italian restaurant music playing from whatever tutorial he’s hooked up to his television. It’s terribly cliche, like you’re in the porno version of a European romance movie. He thinks nothing of it, not when your juices are dripping on his thighs, your skin soft and pliant in his grip. Jungkook drums his fingers against your spine, seemingly uncaring that you’re stuffed deep into your womb. 

On the other hand, it’s the only thing you’re acutely aware of. His thick, warm cock is nestled between your folds, right where it should be. You clench once, twice, thankful that this isn’t some crazed wet dream. States of sleep and consciousness have blurred this week, you’re lucky that you made it all the way up to Jungkook’s apartment. 

You can’t cum like this. You need to bait him. You moan, the sound slow and rumbly against your throat as you weave your fingers through his dark tresses. Moving the strands aside to kiss his cold metal earrings you murmur, “I love this, Kookoo. I’ve wanted you all week, I was going crazy. I kept playing last week in my head over and over. I even put in my little vibrator, hoping you’d pull up the app.” 

Jungkook’s teeth clench, and his grip is borderline painful as it digs into your hips. 

“I haven’t been able to cum all week, and I want to do it all over you,” you husk, playing with the roots of his hair. 

You can feel yourself dripping, wetness lubricating you even further and probably staining his thighs and couch with your arousal. Every second that passes is killer, and the fluttering towards your pussy tighten further as Jungkook’s cock twitches in response. Your pussy continues its ministrations, butterfly-like flaps against his hot member that have you vibrating.

“Mm, oh, I’ll cum for you,” and surprisingly, you might be able to. All this dirty talking has gotten you riled up. Just a little bit more and—

Jungkook shoves you off his cock, forcing you to land on the couch. 

“No!” you cry, wiping your face. Your cheeks are ruddied, and you’re annoyed. The coolness of the autumn air has you feeling chilly, and you want to scream at Jungkook for disrupting your orgasm. You feel empty. 

You’re not annoyed for long however, as Jungkook flips you on your back and gives you what you’ve been craving. 

“You glide right in, don’t ya doll,” the friction is deliciously blazing, his hands pushing you further into the large couch as he takes you from behind. Hot, fast smacks against your ass come from the way his balls bounce back and forth as he pistons his cock in and out. “F-fuck, you’re so good to me. So good, I love having you like this. All pretty and dripping, you really know how to make a guy wait, huh?” 

“Mmph! N-no—hng, but I’m y-yours, Kook,” you garble out, and you’re practically eating the throw pillow you’re propped up on as he slams you further into the cushions, so hard you may fall off, “all yours, honey. N-no more waiting. I want you, want you so badly—ah fuck!” 

“It’s worth it, you’re worth it,” he says over and over, his thrusts becoming sporadic and losing their rhythm once he feels you clenching uncontrollably. He presses his two fingers to your sloppy bud, swirling around the juices eagerly. “C-cum, baby doll. You deserve it, yeah? Cum on this cock, let go.” 

You’re starting to see spots, black and white alike. Finally shying away from his cock you rest on your back, but Jungkook doesn’t stop his fingers from flying across your clit. One look at his face and you’re gone. Pretty brown eyes, overflowing with affection. The feeling is different, and it’s the acute pressure between your stomach and pussy that makes you notice what’s going on with your body. The pressure finally releases, your eyes fluttering shut as you rest your cheek on the cushions. You dissolve, a mess on the couch as white hot liquid ejects from your body, spraying Jungkook’s thighs and cushions. 

“Y-you just,” your lover’s mouth is parted open like a baby kitten, uncaring as to how the dark liquid stains his couch fabric. 

“Squirted?” you answer breathlessly, a melty smile on your lips, “y-yeah.” 

 It sets him off, a button left dormant until now. The thatches of hair that surround his cock are dripping with your mess, a cold reminder that he got you to this high. He doesn’t hesitate to slip his cock back into you, and you gasp at the overstimulation. You try not to focus on how your body is a bundle of lit nerves, only to help Jungkook reach his completion. 

“S-so perfect,” he warbles, pressing kisses to your jaw, chin, lips. Each thrust is deep, thick and heady with emotion. “Mm, I wanna cream this pussy sooo badly—mm, all mine, all wet and warm and so so sweet—” 

He cries out your name, biting into your shoulder as your walls fill further with his hot cream. Your thighs are shaking from sensory overload, and Jungkook has to hold you down and soothe you into a state of reality to cling on. 

Satiated, he nuzzles into your chest, feeling absolutely featherlight. 

“T-thank you,” you say gratefully, when at least three out of your five senses return to your body. Your hands dip down to clutch his cheek, pinching lightly at the warm skin.

“Don’t thank me yet,” Jungkook exhales into your breasts, “d-didn’t even feed you my cum yet.” 

You scoff, pinching his cheek again. You’re aware of his softening cock between your folds, ready to seep the efforts of today’s coupling, but your stomach says otherwise. You crane your neck to make note of the kitchen island, staring curiously at the metal pasta roller and the little nests of carby goodness that decorate the cutting board. 

“Feed me pasta first, please. You have all night to feed me dessert.” 

Jungkook giggles into your stomach, he doesn’t mind feeding you in that order. 

bonus.

“So.” 

“So?” you have cream sauce on your lips, happily slurping on an angel hair. 

“You haven’t told me you liked me back yet,” Jungkook rests his palm in the swell of his cheek, content with watching you eat from where he’s standing on the counter. He leans his upper body across the marble table, muscles rippling against his white shirt. 

“Oh, I did!” you’re affronted, swinging your legs on the high chair, “I totally did last week!” 

“Yeah, well. Can you say it while I’m not inside you?” 

“Okay,” you blink, quirking him with a simple smile, “I like you.” 

“That was anticlimactic,” Jungkook jokes at the brevity of your confession, yet his heart betrays the charm he finds in the three words. 

You scoff, jabbing your fork in the little next of springy noodles. “What do you want to hear? I’ve wanted you since I’ve moved in? I think you’re really handsome when you pace the hallway doing work on your phone? I like the way you cook?” 

“Keep going,” Jungkook sing songs, walking over to hug you from behind.

The stool swings back and forth as he rocks the two of you, softly and slowly so you don’t throw up your dinner. He noses into your neck, inhaling your scent and committing it to your memory. 

“Mm, dessert first,” you insist, twirling around the stool so you can wrap your legs around his waist. “And then I can tell you exactly how much I like you,” your fingers play with the buttons of his shirt, walking the pads of your fingers across his chest. 

Jungkook grins, hands reaching to cup your bottom and bring you to his bedroom. Of course, he’s always willing to satisfy your insatiable appetite. 

[luckyasfuck]

maybe i just wanna be yours [k. bakugou]

A CAMBOY AU SERIES - PARTS 1, 2, [3], 4, 5

pairing // katsuki x female reader

tw // cussing, smut

warnings for this part // (kinda?) mutual masturbation

theme // enemies to lovers au, camboy!katsu au, college student!katsu and reader au, no quirk au

keys // y/n, l/n, h/c

words // 1.8k

a/n // pt. 4 will be written at 100 likes and posted at 5-10 reblogs :). i’m glad ya’ll are enjoying it, send criticism and/or ideas in my inbox.

previous part I masterlist

y/n’s head was no longer cloudy.

it scared her at first,  her twitter username and bio must have gave it all away. part of her hoped that katsuki wouldn’t notice the notification, and if he did, well she hopes he’d be too dumb or oblivious to know it was her. but of course, bakugou fucking katsuki wasn’t like that. y/n would know, especially when she woke up him following her back.

fucking son of a bitch.

it was very obvious that it was katsuki. from his voice during lives to his demeanor with his posts: reserved. it was a bitch to think about, no matter what y/n did it was all that occupied her mind. she was aware of the comments she had left on his last live, her other hand too busy pumping her fingers in and out of her pussy to make more than two. that’s what bothered her. not only did she get off to her rival of all people, she did it twice. twice!

she thought about it the whole morning as she reached UA. a person came from behind and bumped her shoulder, rushing to the group of people crowding the main gate. y/n knotted her eyebrows, her mind was too all over the place to know what they could have been fussing about.

the crowd completely blocked the gate and she sighed, opting to take another route until someone grabbed her arm. thinking it was a teacher or a student, she turned around with a smile.

what the fuck.

katsuki stood there gripping her arm and her heart dropped. she yanks his hand away and glared at him, goddamn if looks could kill katsuki would’ve made it to heaven right about now. she stared at him with so much intensity, it almost looked like she was gonna go crazy over the fact that he stopped her, let alone even touch her.

fuck, that’s hot. katsuki gulped and mentally slapped himself after the thought. “don’t let the teachers see you-” he whispered, looking around. y/n sighed, “too late.” she looked behind him where their Biology professor stood with a smile.

“good morning, kids! i’m glad i found you two together, which is um... quite new, don’t you think?” the old woman greeted. katsuki rolled his eyes before facing her, standing beside y/n.

the h/c-haired girl didn’t like being near him at all, he had this weird aura and she didn’t know what his intentions were at all. and him approaching her for the first time without being forced by a professor after the shenanigans of last night? way too timed to be a coincidence, though she wishes it was. 

“if you don’t know yet, our school’s competing with others schools with this little competition our school made.” the old woman got straight to the point. “the competition is that weekly for this month, a duo would take a quiz on a specific subject together. the subject changes every week and the questions get harder and harder! the 5 duos with the lowest scores are eliminated. it’s said on the board right there!” she pointed to where the students crowded.

“um, okay...? why are you telling us this then?” y/n questioned, adjusting her grip on her bag as the professor smiled again whilst katsuki breathed out a loud sigh. 

“i want you both to be the duo that represents our school!”

“miss-” katsuki started, but got cut off. “don’t you think we’re the worst duo for this? i mean,” y/n laughed sarcastically. “you know we hate each other, everyone fucking knows tha-”

“language, miss l/n.” the professor’s sternly scolded and y/n flinches a bit at the change of mood. “yes, ma’am.” the younger girl looked down on her shoes. “i think it’s a good opportunity for the two of you,” the old woman pointed to the two students. “to get along. you two are really gifted, and i don’t want our school to lose this or get humiliated just because you two have beef with each other for reasons unknown.”

y/n was sweating under her jacket and she gulped as the woman walked away, letting them know her decision was final. katsuki breathed out a deep sigh, face-palming. “what are we gonna do now? knowing that bitch, she’ll tell everyone we said yes.”

y/n didn’t bother to argue with the blonde, she knew he was right. the crowd near the gate starts to disappear and she leaves without responding to katsuki. she doesn’t know where the fuck he got the confidence to talk to her so casually. more like she wished she didn’t know.

she knew that he knew.

and he knew that she knew too. 

so simple yet so complicated.

class dragged out and y/n hasn’t spared a single glance at katsuki. she’s done this almost everyday since she met him, so it was easy to do. if only he’d stop staring into her soul, knowing she can see him in the corner of her eye. 

katsuki’s always liked to stare, though he had nothing to stare at. and now he does, even he doesn’t like how much he’s staring. he’d snap out of it, curse himself and y/n too while he’s at it, then get caught in a daze while staring at her again. 

multiple teachers approached them and individually asked them about the competition, their answers were the same the whole time, a bland “yeah, we’re competing as the duo.”

the students sat in their last class, blabbering around and not caring anymore. it was the last class, after all. they were tired and wanted to go home, but of course, they can’t. at least not yet. y/n didn’t feel like listening, she was tired too. doodling in her notebook, her heart drops when the professor calls her name. fuck, i don’t know the answe-

“oh. and mister bakugou too. i think it’s for the competition, the principal wants you two.” the old male lets out an intrigued hum. “don’t you guys hate each other?” y/n and katsuki walked out the room silently, filling the room with embarrassment on the professors side. 

the female walked on the other end of the corridor, she didn’t like katsuki at all. his mere presence makes her gag, and she knows it’s the same for him too. that’s why they opted to stay as far away from each other as possible.

the ash blonde walks into the principal’s office with y/n hot on his trail. “take a seat.” the principal said, not looking up from his paperwork. “listen, you two. i heard a lot from teachers about how you compete with each other, but the both of you are the smartest duo here. all i want is for you two to study together and pass the quizzes as best as you can. you don’t even have to get along! and your grades will be perfect A+’s for the whole month, and if you win, maybe i’ll extend to a month more.”

y/n and katsuki’s eyes widened at the offer, it was so tempting. and education always came first before pride anyway. “fine, i’ll do it.” y/n was the first to speak while katsuki just nodded his head.

“it’s settled then.”

[ timeskip ]

y/n plopped down on her bed. the two of them got sent home early and were forced to share socials with each other. they were also granted permission to use the library whenever they wanted, and were given the schedule to study together from their last two classes until whenever they liked. and before going their separate ways, she told katsuki to text her a plan if he had one.

her phone dings and she automatically assumed it was him. and it was. just... a little more lewd. definitely not what she was expecting.

y/n cussed, “since when the fuck did i let this stupid fucking site give me notifications?” katsuki’s heavy breathing and occasional grunts boomed through her speaker and she hurried to click off it, until her eyes landed on his cock.

from what seemed like it, he had already cum once, the white liquid dripping from his slit down his lenght. y/n can’t seem to tear her eyes from the way he stroked his cock, so gentle yet so rushed, so... satisfying.

she shakes her head and kicks herself out of her absurd train of thoughts, thumb hovering over the ‘X’ on the top left of the site. “have you joined the live, pretty face?” she flinches when she heard his raspy voice, thighs unconciously rubbing together and panties already soaked. 

“i hope you have, fuck. been thinking about you all day, mhmm~ why don’t you drop your little comments for me?” she could practically hear the smirk in his words, and it irritated her. but fuck, if he wasn’t so attractive. his perfectly sculpted body, his voice, and that pretty cock. it was that fucking cock.

“are you touching yourself, pretty face? you better. this live’s all for you.” katsuki moaned out, stroking himself faster. y/n watched as the chat went crazy, all of them confessing their sins to him like he was some sort of God.

and maybe he was, cause she found herself running a finger through her wet folds as she watched the camboy play with his tip. she shoves a finger inside, moaning with him before moving in and out parallel to his strokes. 

katsuki comes again, his strokes coming to a half. he pants before smirking, “pretty face, lookie here.” he shows a fleshlight to the camera, his tip prodding at the toys entrance. y/n slowly adds another finger as he sunk the toy down onto his cock, both of them moaning.

they both fuck themselves into oblivion while thinking of each other, katsuki’s hips violently fucking into the toy as he hissed, “fuck, i bet your pussy feels a lot better.” y/n felt her cunt clench around her finger at the statement as she started to rub her clit as well. 

she orgasms a little bit before katsuki shot his load into the toy, both their movements halting as they tried to catch their breath. she types in a comment before finally exiting the site, feeling slightly disgusted of what she just did. she shudders and opts on taking a shower before napping.

“you dirty little thing.”

katsuki felt his cock twitch at y/n’s comment. he ended the live right after, knowing she probably left already. the notifications for money he hoarded sat heavy on his account and he smiled, cleaning himself up after. the image of her with her legs open, her fingers buried deep in her cunt and her moaning uncontrollably was all that filled katsuki’s brain.

and he fucking hates it. he hates how much power the desires of his cock had over him when he was horny.

and the only desire his cock had was her.

next part I masterlist

taglist:

@princesspeach-00 @tamakisropebunny @bakugous-mamas @ll379333 @j1-914 @gazelle-des-pres @trashpandainahat @dickinson-67 @victoriaestein @amelie-chan @your-worst-obsession [ cannot tag last two ]

[twilightpoison]

It’s been brought up to me that a lot of my content is Isekai based. However I didn’t want this to be a Ieskai HC post. Instead let me tell you all about a stupid thing I came up with as a kid that I’ve been meaning to make into a fic for so long.:

What if the characters you play actually can feel your presence and/or can hear your commentary when playing?

Fair warning I never play Hyrule Warriors and Twilight Princess so let me know if I got things wrong.

Head canons under cut!

General head canons (These are all platonic headcanons btw.):

- Let’s say that the simple reason that you are here was to help the chain. Think of it like you’re the groups companion on this journey. Who better then someone that knows about each hyrule?

- The people who dealt with a lot of magic recognize you at first. The others need a bit of a push to connect the dots but everyone gets there.

- The connection wasn’t as strong at times during their original adventures, so its not like they could always hear you or sense you.

Time:

- You saw him and it was clear he has another sibling now.

- Time knew you where telling the true, that you followed both of his adventures however he wasn’t going to be fully open to you.

- Guess who isn’t scared of Time? You.

- Literally at one point you’ve pointed at Time and with a straight face says “thats a child”.

- This is also how the chain found out that Time actually fought the moon technically.

- “You fought Majora on the moon while it was falling. That’s not the same thing.”

- You meet Malon and it was an awkward first meeting since how do you explain this in the first place.

- Yet the two of you got along amazingly.

- When you and time are alone you instantly ask Time if he knew how she got the cow in his house. He kinda just… stares at you? Like you just met his wife and thats what your asking about?!

- The answer was that he wasn’t sure how she did that but the cow isn’t in his old house anymore. Since different timelines and all.

- It’s honestly weird for him to have someone remember both of his adventures in confidence.

- All be a little awkward hearing someone go, “oh yeah! Time had to do something similar.”

- Early on Time did go over boundaries since he really doesn’t like to talk about his adventures to much.

- So instead you both agree to be as cryptic as possible or at least there is an attempt on your part. Since your the only other person that can confirm or deny his claims.

- And no. You also don’t know his true age. But your guess is the closest.

Twilight:

- Since he is one of the Link’s that is drenched in magic, he recognizes your aura instantly.

- Chaotic sibling energy.

- If he is giving Wild or any of the other Link’s a hard time you are by his side calling Twilight out. Unless if the person in question did something truly idiotic then you let him go off.

- Speaking of, you call this man out as much as you possibly can. Like hell if you’re going to let the others think he isn’t a gremlin.

- He did try to stop you by covering your mouth but you licked his hand. So…. guess what he isn’t trying again unless it’s necessary.

- Somethings are kept a secret though. Since he did live through it and even if it was stupid he still could of gotten really hurt.

- You both play good cop, bad cop to the younger Links all the time.

- Twi is surprisingly very open with you about his adventure, to finally talk to someone about it with out having it sound crazy is nice.

- He also has some questions about you and your life. Since before this adventure started you just disappeared.

- The two of you honestly get along like two best friends who haven’t seen each other in years but still can banter like its the good old days.

- Knowing only small amounts about what they all been through it’s nice to know that you’re looking after the others as well.

- That feeling makes him really push himself to protect the family he has here and luckily you are here can smack him upside the head before lecturing him.

Warriors:

- heeeeey… you know what happen the last time he met someone that was suppose to be watching over the hero’s spirit?

- Yeah, so….War’s isn’t so keen on trusting you like some of these Heroes.

- You seem nice and not obsessively crazy. If anything what makes him decide to give you a chance. It’s seeing you get along with the other Heroes post battle or around the campfire when you think no one is watching.

- The moment that he recognizes you. You were cursing out some monsters and calling Dink every name under the sun. Which he actually remembers hearing your panicked voice briefly when fighting Cia.

- Anyway, you guys are a sass duo and even a trio when you get Leg involved.

- You steal his scarf sometimes with Time and Wind’s help

- He finds you and Wind wrapped inside of it leaning on time and his heart just- clenches, he has more siblings now!

- Then Warriors realizes he has another sibling… another sibling that will prank him…

- You two can be found discussing tactical strategies. Mostly him teaching you though since depending on the person not many people will know how to lead an army. Yet he is a good teacher and you catch on pretty quickly.

- Same with Twi, Warrior’s needs someone to pull him back sometimes it seems. Who better then to remind him then the person that already saw his lowest moment when his ego got the better of him?

- Seriously speaking. He wouldn’t come to you to talk. If anything he will try to avoid you if he wasn’t his best. In his head he has a reputation to uphold. Which will lead to a heart to heart. No sass. No banter. Just you and him sitting down to remind him that he is human.

- He needs a hug. Please give him a hug.

Sky:

- Sky actually didn’t recognize you at first!

- Yes he felt your presence and hear your voice in his adventure, but that was a while ago at this point. Also he isn’t as connected to magic as the others are.

- He does slowly befriend you despite everything.

- It wasn’t until you referred to a certain demon lord as a ‘B*tch A** Clown’ and a flood gate of memories open up for him. Memories of you cursing out Ghirahim, calling the imprisoned an ‘avocado with feet’ and so on.

- Nothing really changes between you two honestly, he just accepts it.

- If anything he becomes more open to you about everything, setting clear boundaries on what he doesn’t want to bring up. He will tell everyone about the curse eventually, but just hasn’t found a good opportunity too. Things like that.

- You do have to argue with Sky that the curse wasn’t his fault since you were also there when it was put on him, also the fact that he didn’t asked to be cursed in the first place.

- Most of the time you two are together its to get away from the chaos that the group of nine heroes could bring.

- Walking or sitting in silence is how you two end up most of the time together. It may not look like you two are bonding. There are some days while Sky is wood carving you would work on your small hobby as well. Then there are days he plays the harp and your reading.

- Despite it all he really enjoys the peace you bring. There is a sense of comfort that you have.

- When you and Sun finally meet. The first thing you ask him is to be invited to the wedding and it may or may not been in front of her too…

Wild:

- The recognition was really slow for him like Sky. Since Wild just got off of his first adventure he didn’t actually notice you were gone.

- It was until he realized that he couldn’t hear your panicked voice or snarky remarks when fighting in his head. That he finally realized you where outside of his head. He was quick to connects the dots after that.

- There was a moment where he didn’t know how to react since he just figured that you were just from his imagination.

- He now has another adventuring buddy with Hyurle! Though luckily you do keep the both of them from harm. Mostly because if something happens to them you will get in trouble with like Twi and Leg and thats never fun.

- Though you have your moments. Shield surfing and paragliding are on top of that list and Wild is all up for teaching you the ropes.

- The topic of the history of hyrule gets brought up a lot with the two of you. Since his era has a lot of connections to the past era’s. He is all up for learning about what came from where. Soon theories start to fly about.

- When You, Him and Flora are finally all together. There is nothing stopping you all from bouncing off theories. With your outside knowledge mixing with what they know. Things start to fall into place.

- The answer to why the timeline is like this doesn’t get answer. But hey! At least you all are having fun!

- If you can’t cook he will teach you that too! If you can! Well buckle up your going to share your knowledge with him whether you want to or not.

- Once you know how or get used to cooking while camping, you help him out a lot and its these moments where you both talk the most.

- It’s comforting to him to know he wasn’t alone this whole time.

Legend:

- As soon as you two locked eyes he felt instant dread. Yes he knew. No he isn’t going to opening up to you.

- Playful Insults to bond? Yeah that’s literally how he talks to everyone so no special treatment.

- He keeps you at a distance but its not actually working.

- You talk about his adventures so casually like it happened a few days ago. You avoid Link’s Awakening though. If you got hurt with the plot twist then you could only imagine the pain Leg went through.

- “I’m still trying to process the fact you married a tree.” “Hey remember that one time with Yuga, you slammed face first into a wall so hard you knocked yourself out?” “God do you not wear pants because of the fish thing?”

- This relationship is literally: Only I can bully this one.

- He fears the moment you meet Ravio and Fable knowing full well you all will bond over teasing him.

- Overall though he knows you got his back no matter what, to the point he finds himself confining in you slowly.

- Guess who is also teaming up with Hyrule to get Legend to sleep. It you.

- Once you probably have forced him to sleep by getting wolfie to lay on him. It was the wolf or yourself. In the end it was both of you and he was trapped.

- A sign that he was becoming soft towards you was when he started sharing his items with you. He trusts that you know how to use them and if you don’t he is actually willing to show you.

- He regrets giving the bee badge to you.

Hyrule:

- Another person that is drenched in magic. It only took one look at you for him to realize who you were.

- The two of you were awkward as anything at first. Since to you he never really spoken in his adventure so you didn’t know how to picture his personality.

- There’s a lot of mystery in your mind about him since again there isn’t much to go off of with what your given in game. It’s weird for him to hear about how you interpret his personality from that perspective.

- Hyrule didn’t honestly expect you to try and befriend him tbh. It mostly him over thinking it.

- You do follow him sometimes when he wants to wander around and explore. Mostly because you claim he finds the coolest things when he does.

- But its just a excuse to actually get to know him.

- The two of you trade stories and questions about each of your lives. There might be things you know that he might not know of about his adventure and his hyrule.

- Of course never going into to much details since there are things you couldn’t tell him.

- Hyrule honestly was dreading the day you all would land in his Era. He loves his home but is also very aware of it not being the most…welcoming place.

- So it’s more then surprising to him that there is even more then the glint of familiarity and excitement on your face. Knowing full well what dangers where a head of you, you still were open to exploring his world to the fullest.

- It’s honestly refreshing to see someone love his era as much as he does.

- Another boy that needs hugs, please give him a hug.

- You both cheer each other on though.

- This relationship is just aggressive support between you two and the others.

Four: (I’m actively mixing the Four Sword game and manga just to be clear.)

- Not sure if he would know exactly who you where since during the second adventure your voice and presence bounce between the four of them.

- Yet I also feel like he took after you because he was a child in his first adventure, which worries you a lot. Since you did have choice words for Vaati.

- The first to realize was Vio then it went Blue, Red and Green. Despite being in the same head it was just a theory they had over all. They all had their own ways of confirming it.

- Vio noticed the small things you do around Four. Like not stepping on their shadow, and covering Four when things got chaotic in their head. Small references here and there. When the two of you are alone he almost quizzes you about things. Just to see how much you know and to see if your telling the true or not.

- Blue recognize your mannerisms being something he picked up on during the first and second adventure. Only vaguely since again he was a child / there was only a small part only with him. Your fighting banter when your in battle made you see where Blue got his colorful language from…

- Your comfort was what clued Red in. He remembers your presence more clearly then the others from the first and second adventure. It was a comforting (yet chaotic) presence in their adventures that he latched on to. More so from his first adventure since as a kid he made an imaginary friend to process the fact he could sense and hear your presence. When you came back in the second time around it felt so natural for Red to have you there and really helped make him go forward through his small journey.

- For Green? It was a lot of things but when he see’s you treating each color differently when they are in charged. It’s a refreshing sight to be honest. He just enjoys hearing and seeing that his brothers had someone to confide in. Even when they switch who is in control you some how could tell and spoke to them accordingly.

- They were all some what surprise that none of the others picked up on your treatment of him swapping so much. Yet their also glad because their not ready to reveal themselves quiet yet.

- As Four or as you nicknamed him ‘Rainbow’ the two of you tend to sick together when the world’s shift around. Since his body needs more time to recover.

- You two are another pair that cheers each other on when the moral is low.

- He introduces you to the Minish! Getting you a jabber nut so you can speak to them too. You can’t shrink down to properly talk to them so this was the next best thing.

- The four of them makes you a dagger to bring home to remember him by, there’s a kin stone imbedded where the blade meets the hilt.

Wind: (hello self projection my dear friend)

- Wind didn’t recognize you ether at first, yet he didn’t even blink when you join everyone. He was fully on board with getting a new member and is easiest the most opened.

- It was when you two are alone together that something clicked in his head. You see during the Wind Waker he was alone most of the time when he was on land. So he had to face a lot by himself.

- Having you was reassuring to him when facing some of the monsters alone, especially with the puppet ganon fight. The two of you both agree that it was creepy.

- CHAOTIC SIBLINGS PART 2… well kinda

- Wind is a lot more mature then you realized but you two still have those moments.

- You, Aryll and Grandma get along too! So he and his family basically sees you and the chain as family.

- Pranking buddies! You’re targets would never know. Mostly because your covering up for him. You two team up with Four and Wild so the pranks can get chaotic at times.

- No matter what age you are compare to him and if your ok with it he does like platonic physical affection. Your going to be trading off with Warriors a lot of the time for cuddles or it’s the three of you together.

- You teaching him our worlds sea shanties and him teaching you his? Heck yeah! Even making up songs with the others is something on the table and in the works which is nice.

- It’s another thing to bring back home thats personalized!

Honestly since I’ve written all of this down I want to write the fic more. Though I’ll probably not only because idk if people would even read it lol. So it will just be a bunch of head canons. Anyway rambling is done.

[rocorambles]

Kinktober Day 20: Marking Kink

Pairing: Kuroo x Reader

Genre/Warnings: NSFW, Yandere, Toxic Relationships, Manipulation, Corruption Kink, Marking Kink, Breeding Kink, Possessive and Jealous Behavior

It feels like Kuroo and you have always been in love. You can’t remember a day without seeing his messy black hair and mischievous grin. Being betrothed at a young age meant you had your whole lives to get to know each other before you actually said your vows and the two of you took advantage of it. But as the two of you got older, playful romps and innocent hand holding became heated kisses and Kuroo pinning you against the wall with his body in hidden shadowy corners of castles. His trademark smile grew a little darker. His gaze upon you hinting at something more sinful than just affection and love. And you loved every ounce of attention he lavished upon you.

It was no secret that the two of you were engaged, soon to be married. But men will be men and that didn’t stop other nobles, princes, and kings from trying to whisk you off for a dance at balls, from sending you beautiful jewels and dresses, from writing heartfelt wooing letters of adoration. And Kuroo hated all of it, his handsome face scowling at the sight of another man touching you, his hands itching to rip off jewels and dresses you parade around in that he knows you didn’t buy and that he never gave you, his fingers ripping apart the love letters he finds scattered on your desk. 

He knows you’d never cheat on him, betray him, leave him. He knows you love him far too much for that. But it’s not you who needs a lesson. You just happen to be the means by which he can make a point, send a message to anyone who dares to try and take you from him, who dares to even touch what’s his. Kuroo’s never been good at sharing and when it comes to his most prized possession, you, there’s no chance in hell that he’s letting you get away. 

You’ve always been so innocent and he’s loved corrupting you every step of the way, loves how easily you submit and listen to him, eager to please him and learn from him. He was your first kiss. He gave you your first orgasm. He’s the only man who’s ever touched and will ever touch you. Even now, despite the fact that your name would absolutely be tarnished, despite the fact that scandalized whispers and looks would follow you if anyone knew that the queen-to-be let a man use her like a common whore before she was officially married (even if that man was your fiance), you don’t even hesitate when Kuroo sneaks into your room one night, helping him rid you of the fabric hiding your beautiful body from him. And now with his cock buried deep inside of you, taking a new first from you, pride soars within him and to make his conquest known, he buries his teeth into the crook of your neck, harshly sucking and biting until your once unmarred skin is a litany of purple and red. 

He doesn’t bother returning to his room that night, taking and marking you over and over again until even in the darkness of the evening he can see just how thoroughly used you look. And when daylight does come, he just smiles when the maids that come to care for you shriek in surprise at the lewd sight in front of them, picking out your lowest cut dress and ordering them not to cover any of his marks with powder. He can tell you’re embarrassed by the judgmental looks on their faces, but he purrs at how good you are, not even resisting a bit against his scandalous commands even though you must know the consequences, know how your reputation will plummet once you both step out of your chambers. 

And plummet it does as the two of you publicly waltz around, Kuroo with his messy hair even more tussled up than usual and you, looking like a prostitute after a profitable night. No one dares approach you anymore. No one even talks to you anymore. Awful whispers and comments linger in your wake as Kuroo makes sure you only walk around in dresses that barely cover anything, allowing everyone to see the marks he’s left all over you, the love bites that trail all the way up your inner thigh and down your cleavage, the hand-shaped bruises around your neck from rougher nights. But it doesn’t matter to you, not when Kuroo is still faithfully by your side at all times and he’s all you need, even long after the two of you exchange vows and sit side-by-side as king and queen. 

He’s trained your body, made it his own, and there’s little you can think of other than his touch, his mouth, his cock, but a meeting with his advisors has him even more feral than usual and you wail as he roughly pounds into you. 

“My advisors said we should give birth to an heir soon. Would you like that? Want to be bred and filled with my cum? Want your breasts to swell with milk and your belly to be round with our child?”

Of course you answer yes enthusiastically. Kuroo’s made sure there isn’t even a shred of your own will left in you to oppose his wishes, manipulated you to the point where you naturally follow along with whatever he wants. (Not that he’d give you a choice even if you did say no.) And he spills thick spurts inside of you, keeping his cock inside of you even when it goes soft, mouth greedily and posessively marking your neck and collarbones even more as he waits for arousal to pool in his loins once again, his cock stretching you once more as he ruts into you, animalistically chasing his end and adding to the mess inside of you. 

It’s an endless cycle that seems never ending, surpassing just that night as he fills you with his seed any chance he gets, treating you almost as nothing more than a sex slave to the horror of his advisors as he has you bounce on his cock during meetings and fucks you over the table at meals, marking you inside and out. And even when milk does begin to trickle from your enlarged breasts and even when your stomach is swollen with something other than his cum, he doesn’t stop showing you firsthand how much he loves you.  

After all, he did promise, not until death do us part~    

[lillupon]

AEV Chapter 21 Bonus: Canon-divergent AU

If you’ve been following me for a while, you may have seen me blabbing about Wonwoo getting pregnant in this fic! I actually debated for a long time on whether or not male omegas could conceive. If male omegas could not get pregnant, it could be another reason why they occupy the lowest rung in the societal hierarchy. Anyway, I scrapped that idea because there’s something very thrilling about Mingyu knocking Wonwoo up—in particular, while he is still Wonwoo’s student.

But then I thought: Maybe alphas are more virile and omegas are more fertile during their cycles. They didn’t use protection while Mingyu was in rut. So, despite Wonwoo being on the pill, he gets pregnant. He doesn’t find out that he’s pregnant until he and Mingyu have already broken up. He keeps the child. Names her Jeongyeon.

I imagine Mingyu and Wonwoo reconnecting in the same way they did in chapter 20. Wonwoo reluctantly cuts their first meeting short, but this time, not with the excuse of being hungry and having to do more work later:

Wonwoo slips off the table and stretches his arms over head. The vertebrae between his shoulder blades pop satisfyingly. “I’m sorry, Mingyu. I’d love to chat more, but I have to run.”

Mingyu also slides off the desk. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to keep you this long.”

You can keep me for as long as you like. Wonwoo doesn’t voice the thought out loud, but it embarrasses him just to think it. Things have changed. Now, Wonwoo is just one face in a sea of thousands, just one person out of many who loves Mingyu. “Don’t be sorry. I really enjoyed catching up with you and hearing about what you’ve been up to.”

Mingyu smiles at him. “You don’t have to spare my feelings.”

Wonwoo laughs softly. “I’m serious! I would have liked to talk more, but I, ah—I need to go pick my daughter up from daycare.”

The smile freezes on Mingyu’s lips. His throat bobs as he swallows. It’s a beat before he recovers. “I’m sorry for keeping you from your family. I didn’t realise you had a kid and a mate now.”

Wonwoo shakes his head. “It’s just my daughter and me.”

“Oh,” Mingyu says. “Your mate…”

“Not in the picture anymore.”

“I’m sorry,” Mingyu says. Stiff. Awkward. Cautiously curious, he asks, “Did they uh… You know… Kick the bucket?”

Wonwoo’s laugh is genuine. Kicking balls rather than buckets, he wants to say. “No, they’re alive and well. We just went our separate ways.”

* 

Mingyu’s heart falls out the bottom of his stomach when Wonwoo says that he needs to go pick his daughter up from daycare. They had spent the last two hours chatting and laughing. Mingyu had found himself falling all over again. Charmed by this beautiful man with his beautiful smile. 

Of course someone else had been captivated too. He had steeled himself for this before he walked through the doors of Carat Elementary, that Wonwoo might belong to another person now. The mental preparation does nothing to ease his disappointment. 

His heart is saved from its death throes by the words It’s just my daughter and me. It valiantly climbs up to his chest again. It still hurts, but with a different sort of wound. Wonwoo had loved someone enough to have a child with them, but they had walked out.

How could anyone do that to Wonwoo?

Mingyu feels like a gormless and clingy puppy. He trails after Wonwoo as the omega goes to his desk to pack up his belongings. Falls into step beside Wonwoo as they exit through the school doors and head to the parking lot.

Mingyu waits until Wonwoo’s car has pulled out of the parking lot before leaving himself. 

Chaeyoung returns home for reading break. The Kim family all take a trip down to the hot springs for a week. Mingyu had been looking forward to spending time with his family for months, but now that he is actually here, all he wants to do is return to the city. See Wonwoo again. 

As soon as Mingyu is back in the city, he visits Wonwoo again. A lot of people won’t date single parents, but Wonwoo having a kid changes nothing for him. The years they spent apart have not diminished his feelings for Wonwoo. Mingyu still pines, still wants to provide—not just for Wonwoo, but Jeongyeon as well. He just has to figure out whether or not Wonwoo is interested in dating someone. More specifically: whether or not Wonwoo might be interested in dating him.

Meanwhile, Wonwoo is struggling to figure out how to break the news to Mingyu. He wonders if he should bring it up at all. It’s a huge secret—perhaps even more so than the clandestine affair between student and teacher. It’s a secret that can destroy the budding friendship that is starting to bloom between him and Mingyu. Mingyu will feel betrayed, lied to, Wonwoo knows. He doesn’t know if he can withstand losing Mingyu a second time.

It weighs on him, every time they meet. Almost to the point where he feels sick when he sees Mingyu smiling at him, sweet and tender. To make matters worse, Jeongyeon, normally a shy and quiet child, has imprinted on Mingyu like a duckling. It’s as if she knows Mingyu is her father. It hurts Wonwoo’s heart, to look at the two of them playing: Mingyu sitting hunched in a too-small plastic chair, daintily holding a tiny teacup between his forefinger and thumb; Jeongyeon pouring Mingyu tea, sharing with him plastic pastries. This could be his, for real, but he’s so scared. 

They’re both falling deeper and deeper for each other, and they both know it. But as quickly as they had crossed the line years ago, they’re more hesitant now. 

It comes to a breaking point when Mingyu invites him for a day out. An afternoon at the art gallery, where the current exhibition features one of Wonwoo’s favourite artists, followed by dinner at a restaurant along the waterfront. This is different from all the other times they’ve spent in each other’s presence. Wonwoo knows this because he had caught a whiff of the nervousness in Mingyu’s scent before it was swiftly buried, and because Mingyu had said, “I was thinking, it might be just you and me.”

So Wonwoo drops Jeongyeon off at Dahyun’s house that day. He showers and spends an hour rifling through his closet before deciding on a simple turtleneck and dark jeans. He works some product into his hair and spritzes on a bit of cologne. He feels embarrassed for trying so hard, until he opens the door to greet Mingyu and is instead made speechless. He is floored by how gorgeous Mingyu looks. A sweater with a deep v-neck, the colour of red wine. Tucked into thigh-hugging navy trousers that make his legs look a mile long.

Now Wonwoo fears he hasn’t tried hard enough. Except Mingyu quells that worry with an awed, “Wow. You look great.”

If Wonwoo had any doubts that their outing was a date, those thoughts are dispelled in the first two minutes: Mingyu opens the passenger door for him. Wonwoo ducks into the car, wanting to tease Mingyu about it, regain some sense of normalcy. Except the old-fashioned gesture has him giddy and tongue-tied like a young omega being taken out on their first date. 

Fast-forward to the tail-end of their date. By the waterfront. Night has fallen. They had had a late dinner in a floating restaurant. They exit the boat, arms brushing. They stroll up the dock, making their way to the main wharf. Beneath Wonwoo’s feet, the wooden planks sway as a gentle tide ebbs and flows. He had two glasses of red wine with his salmon. Not quite enough to get tipsy, but he finds himself listing towards Mingyu, as if he is drunk. He flounders over his own feet, bumps into Mingyu’s side.

Mingyu reaches out to steady him with a hand on his low back. “Careful,” he says. Keeps his hand there.

All this reciprocated flirting and touching. Wonwoo feels like he’s been turned inside-out, his most vulnerable feelings on bright neon display for Mingyu’s eyes.

Victorian street lamps line either side of the wharf, glowing a warm orange that penetrates through the dark. Mingyu steps up to the railing and leans his weight against it. Wonwoo joins him. Together, they gaze out at the dark waters.

“I’m mad,” Mingyu says, except he sounds anything but. His voice sounds like it has been pulled taut, turned rough and brittle.

Wonwoo turns to Mingyu. Mingyu’s profile is thrown in shadow, and yet it still makes Wonwoo ache. He’s so handsome. “What’s wrong? Why are you mad?”

Mingyu doesn’t respond. 

“Mingyu?” Wonwoo tries again.

Quietly, Mingyu says, “If it had been me, I never would have left you and Jeongyeon.”

Ahh, I’m really captivated by this AU of AEV, but I feel like it would need another 30k-40k words to do it justice. I literally came up with this entire scenario so I could have Mingyu say that cheesy-ass line, hah!

CLICK HERE TO READ THE CONTINUATION BY AN ANON 

[ddarker-dreams]

helping with bugs / scarlet ribbons.

Inspired by the recent discussions of SR Reader and her mortal nemesis, bugs. 

[Scarlet Ribbons description]

Bruno Bucciarati; 

Bruno never fails to be anything less than the most reliable boyfriend. If you ever have the option to pick who to ask for help from, you go with Bruno. He’s not going to judge you. He’s here to take care of the problem, and to do so in the most efficient way. 

Has the straightest face as he squashes whatever bug has been tormenting you. Bruno will inform you that you don’t have to worry about it anymore, giving the clear to come back into the room. He tries so hard not to point out how cute you look when you came to him all panicked and flushed.

In the case no one else is around, he’s gonna point it out, he can’t hold himself back. You’ll see him fighting back a smile and know you’re in for it. 

“[First]... I must say, I like this side of you. It’s very endearing.”  

In the case he finds the bug to be nonthreatening (like a moth), he’ll use a zipper to let it outside. 

He’ll check up on you afterwards, making sure you’re feeling alright. Bruno is such a good boyfriend :’)))

Giorno Giovanna;

He picked up on your fear before you even thought to mention it to him. Giorno is nothing if not observant. 

In the moment, he’s not going to fans the flames further by teasing you. Unless it’s an invasive species that does harm to the ecosystem, he won’t kill the bug. He’ll find a way to transport it outside and far away from you so it’s no longer a problem. 

Should you be amiable, will offer to help you overcome your fear by creating “cute” bugs. It’s a good time to bond and he gets to subtly show off Gold Experience! Giorno is a partner that wants you to strive to overcome things. He’ll transform some nearby objects into a ladybug or butterfly for you to interact with. 

“See, it’s alright. You’re doing a good job. This creature doesn’t want to hurt you.” 

God Giorno’s presence is so soothing that you can’t help but feel a bit better. He’s so composed, still as an anchor. He doesn’t fully understand why it bothers you... but that doesn’t matter, he won’t mention it. Might make a Single sly comment that’s so subtle you don’t even fully pick up on it until later. 

“Wait, Giorno, were you teasing me?” 

“Hm? Whatever do you mean?” 

He has the tiniest of smiles, and you can’t get upset with him. 

Guido Mista;

For such a doting boyfriend, Mista is the least ideal person to seek help from. Mista is going to be too preoccupied laughing at your misfortune to offer any assistance. When you hit him with a low “Mista...” and frowny face he gets his act together. 

Imagine his surprise when you’re asking him to get his gun out. Is that... really necessary? It’s just a bug. Why do you want him to shoot the bug. Wait, why are Pistols getting into position to shoot the bug, hold on this is devolving fast-- 

“Leave it to us [First]!” 

“Yeah, we’ll take care of it!” 

Mista disappoints his Stand (and you) by refusing to shoot the bug. He uses the famed “stomp it with your shoe” method instead. Pistols are calling him a coward. It doesn’t matter though, because at least it’s gone, and you can live in peace again. 

He’s not going to stop bringing it up. Teasing you, pinching your cheeks and cooing over “how cute” this quirk of yours is. 

Pannacotta Fugo;

A chaotic experience.

Fugo is trying to explain to you why this fear is irrational. Especially if he’s familiar with the bug, and its potential to do harm. He isn’t doing it to flex his intelligence. Instead, he really thinks he’s going to be helping you out in the long run by getting you over this. 

“See, by this coloration we can tell whether or not it’s venomous-”

“Fugo, please for the love of god just kill it!” 

Purple Haze is more than willing to slay the bug for your honor. Unfortunately, Fugo is not a fan of this idea, and has to keep his Stand from inviting itself out and activating its virus. Purple Haze just wants to impress you and earn your praise, and so does Fugo by extent, he’s just better at hiding it. 

He’s just sighing at this point. Whatever, he’ll do it himself, god he has to do everything in this house. Gets rid of the bug with a scowl. Then proceeds to look at you and ask was that really such a big deal? When he sees the grateful smile on your face though he shuts up. 

Will say it’s the last time he’s doing this. It’s not the last time he’s doing that.

Narancia Ghirga; 

Narancia knows a prime opportunity when he sees one. This man is not letting it go to waste. He’s whipping out Aerosmith, putting an arm in front of you, telling you not to worry. That he’s going to take care of it for you. Narancia wants to be your knight in shining armor... 

Which is all well and good, until Aerosmith starts firing away. Does it take care of the bug? Well, yes, but there are more pressing issues afterwards. Namely the path of destruction left in Aerosmith’s wake. Narancia will look back at you, sporting an ear to ear grin, internally celebrating over how cool that must’ve looked to you. 

Now you realize that there’s a new problem at hand. The fact that Narancia, in his eagerness, obliterated the wall. There’s smoke rising and everything. He doesn’t consider his response to be an overreaction, and is going to vehemently stick by that. It was bothering you!!! Of course what he did was necessary. Smh.

He’ll tell you to come to him if you ever need someone to get rid of bugs again. Has a little bounce in his step afterwards if you thank him... :’)

Leone Abbacchio;

Abbacchio does not get what the big deal is.

It’s a bug. You’re more the capable of dealing with a bug. Why are you being so dramatic? He’s going to be giving you a long look, before sighing. The frantic expression thaws his heart. Honestly, he’s grateful that you’re relying on him. Won’t admit that though.

“... Alright, stop staring at me like that. Where is it?” 

He can’t maintain his composure when you hide yourself behind him, hugging his arm. Okay who gave you the right to be so cute. Aaaand now he’s trying not to blush, great, this isn’t going well. Abbacchio has to tell himself to focus to get through it. 

Later on when you’re asleep he’s going to replay the entire scene. Seeing how adorable you looked when you came to him for help, replaying you thanking him, all of that. He can’t get enough of it. 

Trish Una;

Listen... Trish loves you. She really does. You’ve been by her side at the lowest points in her life, and the highest. The two of you are inseparable once you get together. Practically glued at the hip. Trish would do almost anything for your sake, as you would for her. But if you asked for help killing a bug, well...

Nah she’s not gonna do it. Trish isn’t a fan of anything icky, and bugs are at the top of that list. She’ll keep telling you to use your Stand to take care of it. When your rebuttal is that you don’t want to, and she should just use her stand, she’ll point out that yours has better range lmao. Trish came prepared to win this argument. 

It ends one of two ways.

One: you power through the anxiety and slay the bug, further earning Trish’s approval. She’ll be impressed by the display of strength. So it’s worth it in a way? You’ll get a kiss on the cheek, and semi sarcastic comment about being her savior. 

Two: bolting out of the room and hoping it’ll just die somehow. That room will be sealed off until further notice. 

[charlie-boio]

I’m Here For You

Summary: Stiles has been avoiding you for a few weeks and you aren’t sure what’s wrong. Is this the end of your friendship?

Word Count: 3200

A/N: I enjoyed this little idea. Hope you do too. It’s pretty cute in my humble opinion. Also I based their high school schedule (like how long their classes last) off of where I graduated high school so I know it’s probs different but idc. Also I’m not super comfortable with how well written this is but I like it 😊

WARNINGS: angsty, but with some well deserved fluff

You took in a short breath, and then another. Your knees were starting to burn, the back of your throat felt like it had been scorched, and your head was pounding. The pain and nausea in your stomach wasn’t going away, but you thought that you didn’t have much left to throw back up. At this point, you were merely dry heaving.

These past few weeks have already been pretty much hell for you. For the past three weeks, Stiles had been bailing on your Friday movie nights, and last Friday was no exception. You didn’t even bother to text him and ask if he was coming, and apparently, he hadn’t cared.

Feeling the lowest you had ever felt in your life, you had just decided to melt into your bedding and binge watch cooking shows. What had started as a dull ache on Friday had taken a dramatic turn for the worse on Monday, and you simply could not catch a break with the pile on of essays, projects, and tests that your teachers handed you.

In all honestly, you could not catch a break. Never mind the slow burn of feelings that were building inside of you for Stiles, but now it appears you were also losing him as a friend. Which hurt…more than anything.

You shook your head, feeling yourself shudder. Standing on shaky legs, you flushed and went to rinse out your mouth.

“Just get through school,” you muttered. “Then you can go home and sleep this off.”

You finally left the bathroom and walked slowly towards your class, hand clutching desperately at your right side. Grimacing with each step, you opened the door and shuffled inside.

“About damn time! Get back in your seat y/l/n!” Coach Finstock barked at you, causing everyone’s eyes to snap up and pierce right through you. You shrunk into yourself more than you already were.

“Sorry,” you mumbled, walking carefully over to your seat without disturbing your side too much, which was a fruitless task. Sitting down, you looked over a Scott, whose eyebrows were furrowed together. Stiles didn’t bother looking up, his face buried in his notebook. You felt your heart break just a little more at the sight, so you forced a smile and whispered that you were okay, knowing that he could hear you. Scott’s eyebrows stayed knit together, but he turned away from and put his attention back on Coach’s lecture, letting the matters drop for now.

Coach’s class went by in a foggy haze, the occasional stabbing pain in your side brought you back to reality until the bell rang. Stiles jumped out of his seat and rushed out the door, not sparing you a glanced. Scott was close behind him, but not before sending you another worried look, to which you gave him a forced smile. His eyebrows furrowed, but he left anyways.

You moved slowly, face grimacing with each step. You couldn’t help your mind wandering to Stiles, imaging him helping you through the hallways to your next class. You two always used to walk together…

Shaking your head, you continued forth, barely managing to make it to your next class on time. Thankfully, you didn’t have another class with Stiles until after lunch, but you had this class with Lydia.

“y/n are you feeling okay?” Lydia asked, her face etched with concern.

“I’m fine, just a little nauseous, nothing to be worried about,” you said, but your wavering voice betrayed you. Lydia quirked up an eyebrow and pressed the back of her hand to your forehead.

“You’re awfully warm sweetie. I know you said, ‘You’re fine,’ but maybe you should go home. Just in case,” she said sweetly.

“I can’t. My parents are out of town for their anniversary.”

“What about Stiles? He usually gives you a ride to school anyways right?” Not for two weeks, Not for two weeks, you thought sadly.

“Um-I-“

“Girls, pay attention please!” your teacher snapped at you two. You and Lydia mumbled your apologies. Thankfully, class went by without another opportunity for you to talk to Lydia, and when the bell rang, you two parted ways since her class was across the school.

You managed to get through your next two classes, trying to pay attention to your teachers and zone out the stabbing pain in your side, the pounding in your head, and the heavy weight in your heart. You were hoping and praying with all of your might that you could get through the rest of the day. You weren’t sure how the fuck you would get home, but you decided you’d cross that bridge when you got there.

If you get there, you thought miserably, but you quickly shook that thought from your head. You were overreacting, obviously. How could you be so stupid? You got your period on Saturday, and occasionally they could be a little extreme. 

*

“Stiles, you really didn’t have to do any of this…” you said sweetly, a small smile stamped on your face.

“Come on, kid. You’re my best friend, of course I’m gonna take care of you!” Stiles said, flashing you a toothy grin.

He had surprised you out of the blue, hearing that you had gotten your period and that it was kicking your ass this month. Stiles brought chocolate, popcorn, movies (Star Wars, obviously), blankets, one of his sweatshirts, sour patch kids, and a heating pad after you had complained that yours broke. He spent the next hour setting everything up and not allowing you to lift a finger despite your protests.

After settling down, you had tried to cuddle with him like you two usually do, but your cramps weren’t having it so you settled for having your head in his lap, the heating pad laid across your lower abdomen, blankets curled around both of you while Stiles continuously ran his fingers through your hair, soothing you.

“Any better?” he asked softly.

“Yeah,”

“Come on, kid. You don’t have to lie to me. Not ever…”

“It is better, since you came and helped me,” you turned your head slightly to look up at him, and you saw his swirling amber eyes looking down at you with adoration. You felt your heart skip a beat while you smiled at him.

Stiles leaned down quickly and placed a lingering kiss to your head. “You know I’m always gonna be here for you kid. Always,” he mumbled into your head.

You closed your eyes and sighed happily, his fingers resuming running through your hair. You could’ve died happily in his arms.

*

Bitter tears that burned your eyes welled up, threatening to fall at the memory. What did I do…? You thought miserably to yourself.

Closing your eyes, you shook your head, ridding yourself of both the tears and the memory. If you cried right now, the pounding in your head would only get even worse, and you weren’t sure how much longer you could last like this.

Unfortunately, the bell rang for the end of fourth period, and fifth was lunch with the rest of the pack, including Stiles. You felt a pool of dread hit the bottom of your stomach. Stiles used to sit next you at lunch, cracking jokes back and forth with his sarcastic comments. Now, he sat as far away from as he could, and you had a feeling that today would be no exception.

Sure enough, walking into the cafeteria you saw all of your friends sitting together, happily chatting away. There was a seat saved for you on the far right while Stiles sat at the far left across the table from you, right next to Lydia. For once, it didn’t look like Stiles was drooling over her; instead they were quietly arguing about something, but you were too far away to hear what it was.

Still, you sat down and did your best to smile through the physical and mental pain of everything. However, your stomach had decided to dial up the pain a notch, making sure it was something you no longer could ignore. With each beat of your heart your head pounded louder and louder, the voices around you starting to fade.

Uh oh. This isn’t good I need to get out of here!

You tried to stand, legs wobbly, but the second you stood up your vision began to tunnel, your pain double by the second. You could vaguely hear Scott, and you felt the pack’s eyes on you.

“I need to…to…” you stuttered, and you felt your knees buckle as you sank to the floor. Before you could hit the ground hard, a pair of strong arms snaked around you, breaking your fall. You could vaguely hear someone scream for help.

Your breath hitched, ears ringing as you fell into darkness.

 *

“HELP! PLEASE SHE NEEDS HELP!” Stiles shouted through the hospital, nurses and doctors rushing over. You were in his arms bridal style after you had passed out in the cafeteria. He had managed to catch you before you could hit your head, and he had sprinted as fast as he could to his jeep to drive you to the hospital.

That was two hours ago, and there hadn’t been any word on y/n’s condition. Not even Melissa could tell them anything, and Stiles was getting tired of hearing ‘We are doing everything we can right now,’

“Stiles?” Scott asked gently.

For the first time in his life, he was still. Absolutely still. He didn’t fidget with his hands, bounce his knee, or even pace. He merely sat there; hands clasped together. He didn’t even have the energy to cry anymore; all he did was stare at the floor and just let every single one of his negative thoughts rush through his head.

“Stiles,” Scott said a little more forcefully. Stiles barely turned his head, his drawn low.

“Look I already know what you’re gonna say-“

“The ‘I’m Gonna Avoid Her So My Crush Can Go Away’ plan? The one that everyone thought was the stupidest idea ever?” Lydia interjected, having found about this plan at lunch.

“Stop it, okay? I get it!” Stiles snapped, then he sighed loudly and ran a hand through his hair. “I’m sorry, it’s just…I should’ve seen it. I should’ve known something was wrong. We’re best friends…she’s never gonna forgive me,” Tears lined Stiles’ eyes. Turns out he did have more to spare.

“Stiles, you and y/n are idiots,” Stiles’ head snapped up, his eyebrows shooting up into his hairline. “You two have edging around a relationship for at least three years at this point, and each time you’ve both been like ‘Oh there’s no way they like me back!’ Seriously! I’m tired of hearing it,”

“Scott, what if it’s too late? We don’t know what’s going on-“

“Why am I not surprised that you’re all here?” Melissa’s voice came out with a carefree tone. She had a clipboard with her, and she looked relatively at ease. Immediately Stiles shot up and made his way over, his hands fidgeting with each other, not taking note of Melissa’s relaxed stance.

“What happened? Is she okay?” Stiles asked, his eyes pleading. Melissa gave him a reassuring smile.

“Stiles, relax. She’s totally fine. She just had appendicitis, nothing super major I promise,”

Stiles took a deep breath, feeling the tension from waiting around slip away from him. He couldn’t help the smile that spread on his face.  “She’s…she’s gonna be okay?” he asked tentatively.

Melissa smiled at him. “She’s going to be just fine,” she looked over her shoulder, then lowered her voice. “Now, usually it’s family only, but for you I’ll make an exception. ONLY Stiles,” she finishes when everyone else tried to rush past her. Melissa gave him a knowing look, telling him the room number.

Suddenly standing behind the closed door of your room, he felt his anxiety come crashing down again. He had acted like a complete idiot these past few weeks, not being to stand the fact that you would probably never feel the same way about he as he felt about you. He thought he was doing what was best for both of you. Now he wasn’t sure if you’d even want him around as a friend anymore.

I wouldn’t he thought to himself miserably. It took a few more deep breaths before he was ready to open the door.

Thankfully, you were asleep, but he hated how pale you still looked. The hand with the IV laid across your stomach, your chest rising slowly as you took in deep breaths. Stiles crossed over to your left side and pulled up a chair, taking your left hand and placing a gentle kiss to the top of it. With his free hand, he slowly pushed a stand of hair from your face and tucked it behind your ear.

He had almost lost you today. Appendicitis was a simple procedure, sure, but what if something worse had happened? What if it was something worse, and he missed it because he was too cowardly to tell you how you felt?

“No more hiding,” Stiles whispered to you. He settled his head against the bed on your side. His hand that wasn’t laced with yours was gently stroking your arm while his eyes dropped lower and lower until complete exhaustion finally took over and he fell into a fitful sleep.

 *

Your body felt light and heavy at the same time. This didn’t feel like your bed, or the cafeteria where you were last. You could vaguely remember being carried, but it was all a pain filled blur. You scrunched your face before peeling your eyes open, your heart skipping a beat. There you saw Stiles, one arm resting on your leg while the other clutched yours. You couldn’t help the small smile that spread across your face. Was he really here?

You moved your hand to run through his hair, causing him to stir. Stiles looked up at you, eyebrows furrowed together before shooting up into his hairline.

”You’re awake!” he jumped out of his seat, his hand never leaving yours. A huge grin broke out across his face which contradicted the tears that fell from his eyes. He leaned over and pressed a long kiss to your forehead, your eyes closing at the feeling. “How are you feeling? Do you feel alright? Is there any pain? Because I can go get a nurse for some pain medicine. Or are you hungry? Because you didn’t eat at all at lunch and I doubt you ate this morning since you left class to throw up or maybe you did since-“

“Stiles shhh its okay, I feel okay I promise,” you said, voice a little hoarse. Stiles sighed happily before sitting back down, both of his hands coming up to play with your fingers. You wanted to relish in the moment, but you couldn’t help the nagging feeling that took place in your mind. He doesn’t really care, once you’re better he’ll go back to ignoring you.

“Stiles-“

“I like you,” he blurted out, his face beet red. “And I’m sorry. Really fucking sorry okay? I’ve had this giant crush on you for the longest time, and I had no idea how to address because you’re just absolutely everything to me. I thought that if I put some distance between us that it would be easier, but it wasn’t. I could tell that you were upset, only this time it was my fault. Look, if you don’t feel the same way, or even if you hate me after what I did, I get it I fucking deserve it, it’s fine. But after today, seeing you collapse like that, I don’t think I can’t not have you in my life. I really, really like you y/n, and if you can forgive me one day, can we at least stay friends?” his eyes were pleading with you, tears lining his eyes.

Your eyebrows furrowed. “So…you don’t want to be with me like that…” you whispered.

“No-I mean yes, of course I would love more than anything to be more than friends, but you-“

“Stiles,” you said with a small smile. “I feel the same way. I have for awhile now…”

His eyes lit up, the tears falling now. “Really?” he asked softly.

“Really.”

“But,” he looked away from you, swallowing thickly. “I-I’m not like, super strong or a good lacrosse player. I’m not a werewolf. I’m only human, I’m just…me.”

“I don’t want any of those things, I want you. I want the boy who can always figure out the cases, the boy who would come over and take care of me whenever I’m upset, who came over every Friday to watch movies with me, and the boy who never ever fails to make me laugh, even when it’s the last thing I want to do.”

You continued to run your fingers through his hair, trying to soothe him. His smile grew with your words, his eyes flicking down to your lips for a brief moment.

“Can I kiss you?”

“Please.”

Stiles stood once again, leaning over you while trying not to crush or hurt you in any way. He cupped your face with one hand before gently placing his lips on yours. The kiss was soft, your lips moving slowly against his. It didn’t become any more heated then simply kissing, but your heart still exploded. You two kissed until your lungs burned, Stiles pulling away for just a moment to take a quick breath before diving back in, tilting his head a little, the kiss picking up its pace slightly.

After a few more moments, Stiles pulled back for good, smiling down at you while he pulled his chair even closer you as he sat down, and you were positive that your grin was just a big as his. You leaned over and wiped the remaining tears off of his face, him leaning into your touch.

“Can I take you on date?” he asked.

You quirked an eyebrow at him, “Just a date?” you joked.

“Well, I feel like I should take you out on a proper date before I ask you to be my girlfriend,” he laughed, and you smiled at him.

“Okay, then in that case, I’d love to go on a date you,” you said, affection laced in your tone.

He smiled dopily at you, resting his hand back on the bed next you, your arm coming around him comfortably.

“Get some rest, kid. I’ll be right here, I’m not going anywhere. I’m here for you, always,”

You sighed, closing your eyes, and for the first time in a few weeks, you were able to sleep peacefully with Stiles by your side.

[latte-fairytaekwoon]

𝒟𝒶𝓃𝒸𝓮 𝒪𝒻 𝒯𝒽𝓮 𝒟𝒶𝓂𝓃𝓮𝒹 (𝓓𝓮𝓶𝓸𝓷!𝒮𝒶𝓃) 𝓡𝓪𝓽𝓮𝓭

𝑃𝑎𝑖𝑟𝑖𝑛𝑔: 𝐷𝑒𝑚𝑜𝑛! 𝐶ℎ𝑜𝑖 𝑆𝑎𝑛 (𝐴𝑡𝑒𝑒𝑧)/ 𝑅𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑒𝑟 (𝐹𝑒𝑚𝑎𝑙𝑒)

𝐺𝑒𝑛𝑟𝑒: 𝑆𝑚𝑢𝑡, 𝐴𝑛𝑔𝑠𝑡, 𝐹𝑎𝑛𝑡𝑎𝑠𝑦/𝐷𝑒𝑚𝑜𝑛 𝐴𝑈

"𝑯𝒊𝒔 𝒂𝒑𝒑𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒂𝒏𝒄𝒆 𝒊𝒏 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒍𝒊𝒕𝒚 𝒂 𝒉𝒊𝒅𝒅𝒆𝒏 𝒎𝒂𝒔𝒒𝒖𝒆𝒓𝒂𝒅𝒆...

𝑫𝒆𝒇𝒚 𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕’𝒔 𝒉𝒐𝒍𝒚, 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒚 𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒔𝒆𝒆𝒌𝒆𝒓𝒔

𝑫𝒐 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒃𝒊𝒅𝒅𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒚 𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒅𝒆𝒗𝒊𝒍’𝒔 𝒔𝒑𝒆𝒂𝒌𝒆𝒓𝒔.."

-𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑴𝒂𝒄𝒂𝒃𝒓𝒆 𝑴𝒂𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒑𝒊𝒆𝒄𝒆: 𝑷𝒐𝒆𝒎𝒔 𝒐𝒇 𝑯𝒐𝒓𝒓𝒐𝒓 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝑮𝒐𝒓𝒆

𝑹𝒆𝒄𝒐𝒎𝒎𝒆𝒏𝒅𝒆𝒅 𝑴𝒖𝒔𝒊𝒄

࿇ ══━━━━✥◈✥━━━━══ ࿇

The young raven haired man strolled through the crowds of other guests, taking a glance or two whenever something seemed to catch his eyes. But those glances were only fleeting. There seemed to be nothing particularly interesting in any of them.

He took in the scene before him: long, glittering ball gowns spun around, either in tune to the orchestra playing or in a presumptuous effort to be shown off to others. The male specimen differed no greater than their female counterparts, often standing up straighter or running a hand down their expensive and delicately tailored suits, except they were willing to take it a step further and actually discuss how much they paid for it.

Foolish mortals

He scoffed as he studied each one of them. It was truly sickening to him how much humanity had reached its lowest point. More frequently than not, he noticed how humans more than ever were vain, prideful, arrogant, egotistic and disdainful of anything or anyone who wasn't them.

It wasn't entertaining anymore. He recalls a time many centuries ago when he would get a thrill out of corrupting the innocent, driving the wisest of beings into insanity, destroying picture perfect marriages and making the purest of souls fall into an abyss of sin and darkness.

What was the point of trying to do all that now when some of them are destined for destruction since the moment of their birth? It truly irritated him.

Sighing he picked up a glass of wine from one of the trays carried around by the many butlers, poor useless souls as he liked to refer to them. He sipped on the crimson liquid, it's alcoholic venom doing nothing to him even though it was probably his 13th one already.

13? Was it?

He lost count. He shrugged it off though. He could drink it as if it were pure water, his kind were immune to this substance unlike humanity.

He snorted when he'd look at certain people's masks. While most went all fancy and elegant, others decided to have fun and make sure their attire stood out, in the form of red or black masks, adorned with either fangs, horns and overall rather gruesome or grotesque visages. Clearly they were meant to represent none other than his fellow kindred. He scoffed at their personification of him.

"Damnable bastards. If only you knew we are some of the most beautiful creatures to walk next to you....."

Perhaps that's the main reason why they all, man or woman, no matter their age, education or social status, end up ensnared by them. They were irresistible.

He was about to walk out of the hall, bored out of his non-existent soul, when a small titter caught his ears. Turning his face towards the sound, his breath was caught at the sight of an ethereal looking woman. His eyes scanned her from head to toe. She was absolutely perfect: from her luscious (enter color) hair, to her satin smooth skin, all the way down the her tempting figure. Her scarlet colored dress was impeccably on her, the deep plunge in the chest decorated with sequins and rhinestones daring men to not gaze at her cleavage. The waistline was fitted and then fanned out to accentuate her captivating body. Anyone would think this lady was sin itself, she certainly looked the part.

But San knew better. He could see and feel the aura around her. She was wholly pure, absolutely nothing to signify that she'd been stained or deemed unclean. She was simply an overly sheltered girl who no doubt wanted to fit in, be regarded as a mundane person like the rest of them.

Absolutely perfect if you asked him.

He sauntered in her direction, his devilish smirk plastered on his face. Sensing a pair of eyes, she tilted her head and made contact with the demon, now unable to look away from his alluring gaze. Even through the mask covering half of his face, she knew he was the most handsome man she'd ever see, albeit she'd never seen a lot of men in her life anyway.

Inexperienced and naive as she was, she let him stand next to her and take her hand. Lifting it up to his lips, he introduced himself:

"Choi San. Pleased to make your acquaintance my fair lady."

Delicately, he placed a kiss to her fingers, before releasing them from his hold. His touch was cold, but it sent a burning sensation up her entire arm and she found herself longing for his touch again almost instantly.

"L/N Y/N..." She replied in a voice that was merely above a whisper.

"A truly befitting name for such an angelic lady."

He chuckled to himself at his use of the word. If he was successful, which he always was, by the end of the night, there'd be nothing angelic left about her.

He extended his arm out towards her.

"May I have the pleasure of requesting the next dance?"

He made it a point to flash his dimples, knowing they only added to his charm and rendered women unable to refuse him. She stood up and linked her arm in his. He felt a shiver when she touched him, a feeling he only felt when his kind were in the proximity of a pure soul. It was precisely what he'd been craving for who knows how long. Definitely more than a hundred years since the last time he felt such a presence.

He guided her to the dance floor, the other couples already in position. If there was anything San prided himself on, it was his dancing. He's had years of experience to learn almost every dance that had been created, not only because it added to his attractiveness, but because it truly was one of the few mundane things he thoroughly enjoyed.

He especially loved the waltz they were currently playing. Waltzes were so elegant, refined, polished and were perfect when seducing someone. Intense eye contact, hands intertwined and his arm pulling her close to him, he could see a glimpse of the light blush peeking out underneath her ebony mask. She was flustered, exactly how he wanted her. They were practically gliding across the dance floor, perfectly in tune with the music playing.

"Did you come alone?" San decided it was time to strike up a conversation before going for the kill.

Y/N simply nodded, looking down somewhat ashamed. Instantly he knew she was probably not supposed to be here in the first place.

Interesting detail.

"Tired of sitting at home all bored?" He raised an eyebrow at her, but already knowing the answer.

"Can you tell?" She asked, wondering if he could read her mind.

"Well..... I can tell a lot of things about you..."

Releasing his hold on her waist, he lifted his hand to spin her around before bringing her back into his embrace, now closer than before.

"Things like what?" She wanted him to elaborate.

He hummed along to the music, making her impatient for his answer.

"Like..... how you want something exciting to happen tonight. Your eyes are practically for something, anything, that contrasts the dull life you've lived so far..."

She widened her eyes when he spoke those words. Was she that easy to read? That a mere stranger could notice that about her?

"And your countenance only serves to confirm my theory." He finished.

She sighed softly and loosened her grip on him, wanting to walk away, but he only tightened his hold on her. He smirked at her and leaned in, whispering dangerously close to her lips:

"Why don't you let me open up a new world for you?"

࿇ ══━━━━✥◈✥━━━━══ ࿇

The girl fluttered her eyes open, soft blissful pants escaping her lips. It had been a while since they left the mansion, where San took her to what she assumed was his place. Ruby red walls with matching velvet carpet, umber brown furniture, candles in every corner being the only illuminating feature in the dark room. The only exception was the bed. It was a pitch black color with white sheets and blanket.

Her dress had long been discarded in one of the chairs in the room, the only article clothing her at the moment being her cream colored garter belt with matching thigh high stockings. San thought they looked absolutely adorable on her. The visual only heightened his need to claim her, to corrupt her, to stain her forever with his unholy mark.

He was currently in between her legs, his mouth attached to her heat. Purple blotches were already decorating her inner thighs, courtesy of his teeth. He swirled his tongue around her clit before sucking down on it. He moaned and that action alone made her thighs tremble and close around his head. But he was having none of that. His hands pushed her thighs apart again, nails digging into her petal soft skin as he continued to ravish and feast on her succulent taste.

"S-San...wait...feels f-funny...." She stuttered out after a few minutes.

He knew exactly what she was referring to: she had about to have an orgasm. As much as he'd love to see her come undone on his tongue alone, he made an effort to pull himself back before the feeling got too intense. She let out a whine of frustration and looked at him with a puzzled look, unsure of what was happening.

San ran his thumb across her lip.

"Don't worry darling. I told you I'll open up a new world for you..

And I always keep my promises."

Unzipping his pants, he pushed them down his legs and threw them onto the floor. He smirked as he took in Y/N's astonishment as she gaped at his nude form, or more specifically, at his thick and long length. She seemed to hesitate for a minute, no doubt intimidated by his size, wondering how was that supposed to fit in her.

Climbing on top of her, he placed a reassuring kiss to her temple.

"I'll take good care of you darling...trust me."

His lips captured hers in a hungry kiss. His tongue slipped inside and danced around her mouth, almost like the waltz from hours before. His hands went to the back of her thighs, lifting them up and wrapping them around his waist. He lifted his hips up slowly, the tip of his cock pressing against her folds. He began slipping inside her, going inch by inch so she could get adjusted to the feeling, not wanting to scare her.

Although it took a lot in him to not just pound into her as he wished to.

She wrapped her thighs tighter around his waist, the foreign and stinging feeling of his intrusion causing her to hiss and cry out a little. San peppered kisses across her jaw and neck in an effort to soothe the pain, while his hands drew circles around her thighs. He stayed still until he felt her relax under him. She looked back at him, her face asking what to do now.

"I'm going to start moving now ok? Just relax and let yourself go."

He pulled out of her in a speed that was torturous to him. Then he slowly pushed himself back in, watching as she took deep breaths and looked down at where their bodies connected. The more she looked at him pushing in and out, the more it helped to relax and put her at ease. San knew it too. Her at first raspy breathing turned to soft, melodious moaning.

His hips snapped up and began rolling at a faster pace, causing his cock to hit the perfect angle in her. Her breath hitched and she gasped when the overwhelming feeling in her stomach started to return, building up inside her, threatening to be released any second now.

The demon could feel it too. He's had years of experience to know what her body was doing. He watched as her face contorted, trying to figure out what was happening.

"Sa-San..." She called out, trying to warn him.

He smirked at her.

"I know, I can feel you clenching around me. You feel so good. I can't wait to feel you cum on my immense cock."

His dirty talking only served to have her whine underneath him. His hand reached down and began toying with her nipple.

"So come on babygirl, let me feel you burst. I know you can do it.....

Give it to me."

He commanded those last words to her and just like he knew would happen, she shuddered under his body, her first orgasm in her entire life taking over her, a soft pathetic whimper being the only noise she could muster. It wasn't anything too loud or over the top, as San pretty much expected. It was her first time.

Besides.....there was plenty of time to have her scream his name.

He kissed her nose and smiled.

"You did so well darling. I'm so proud of you."

She blushed at his compliments. San pulled out of her, a proud evil grin plastered on his face as he noticed the sticky trail that dripped out of her onto the sheets: a few droplets of blood signifying he had deflowered her.

Now to corrupt her even more.

He picked her body up and spun her around, making her get down on all fours as he gripped her hips once again.

"Now it's my turn to have a little fun."

She let out a loud moan when he entered her for the second time, her body still sensitive from her first orgasm. San didn't bother to go slow anymore, he knew she could take it. He thrusted in and out of her at an inhuman speed, low moans and hisses coming out of his mouth.

"Fuck! I can feel you getting close again beautiful, your pussy is so fucking tight, it's practically swallowing my cock."

He chuckled when he felt her clench even tighter around him.

"Oh you like that don't you? You like being told you're nothing but a cockslut?"

She hid her face in the pillow in front of her, trying to hide the groan that just past through her throat. San however grabbed her by the hair and pulled her face back up.

"Answer me you little whore."

She yelped when his hand landed a harsh smack to her ass.

"Y-yes San!"

He smacked her once again before pulling her even more roughly and pressing her back to his chest.

"Right now it's Master. Got it you filthy slut?" He growled into her ear.

"Yes Master!" She cried out.

"Good little whore." He praised her.

He continued his merciless pounding, one of his hands trailing down her abdomen to rub her now swollen and pink clit. Y/N now had a few tears rolling down her cheeks from the overstimulation and she hung her head low.

"Uh uh little slut. None of that."

His free hand wrapped around her neck, forcing her to look up. He tilted her slightly to the right so she could see their sinful reflection in the mirror by the wall.

"Look at you. You look so fucking desperate, wanting to cum again on my cock. Is that what you want? To cum on master's cock? Then beg for it."

Y/N let out a series of whimpers, collecting all the strength she could to cry out:

"Please master! I want to cum, let me cum on your cock!"

San was loving this. It had been so long since he had such an innocent thing begging for him.

"How bad do you want it darling? Does Master's cock make you feel that good?" He teased her.

"Please Master I want it so bad! It feels so good, please don't stop!" Her words were barely incoherent now from how overwhelmed with pleasure she was.

Having being satisfied by her answer, he squeezed her throat, causing her to gasp and writhe her body as her second orgasm took over, far more intense than the first. He never slowed down his pace therefore making her convulse even more violently and shriek out a chant of his name, further heightening his pride and ego.

Very soon after, he cursed loudly as he reached his own climax, his cock spurting out his cum inside her, filling her up with his sinful load. She collapsed on the bed, worn out by the physical intimacy that just took place. San chucked darkly when not even a minute later she was completely passed out. That always happened. Humans couldn't handle having intercourse with a demon, they were practically insatiable and always passed out after a night with them.

Pulling the blanket to cover her, San ran his fingers through her hair. He admired her features for a few minutes. She was really beautiful, an ethereal beauty that only came once every century. Even in her now corrupted and tainted state, she was still the most alluring person he'd ever seen, and he's seen even angels themselves.

Now he knew he wanted her all to himself, completely for him and for no one else to own. He wasn't going to allow anyone to take her from him. He didn't have to worry about celestial beings claiming her, they wouldn't want her now. But other demons might want her.....

Getting up he opened a drawer and took out something he'd never imagine using in any lifetime. But there was always a first time for everything. He held up the gold contraption in his hand before letting it set over one of the flames from the various candles in the room. Once he made sure it was hot enough, he approached Y/N quietly.

It's a good thing she wouldn't wake up for a couple hours....

࿇ ══━━━━✥◈✥━━━━══ ࿇

Y/N squinted, trying to let her eyes adjust to the lighting. She felt a dull aching in her lower abdomen and legs, reminding her of the events that took place last night. She looked around, seeing that she was still at San's place, but he was nowhere to be found. She sat up and rubbed her shoulder, feeling some sort of burning and stinging pain.

She paused when she looked at the mirror and noticed something on the back of her shoulder. Getting up and trying her hardest to walk with her limp, she went to the mirror and turned slightly to the left. She froze when there was a bright red mark on her upper back in the shape of a pentagram with the letter 'S' in the middle of it.

She started freaking out. Was this some kind of joke? Where was San?

"Well good morning my dear."

Speaking of the devil, he appeared right behind her, making her whip around and face him.

"Did you do this?" She asked, pointing to the mark.

"I did. I think it really suits you." He smiled proudly.

"Why? Why would you do this?"

"Why you ask? It's simple."

He took a few steps forward. Leaning in, he gripped her chin.

"Because you're mine now and I own you."

She scoffed at his words, repulsed that he could do this.

"You're insane." She spat out.

"I've been called worse." He sat up straight again.

Y/N marched over to the chair on the other side and began grabbing her clothes.

"And just where do you think you're doing?" San crossed his arms in front of him.

"What does it look like I'm doing? I'm leaving."

He let out a hearty laugh at that.

"Leaving? Oh no sweetheart. You're not leaving. You can't leave me." He told her.

"Yeah? Watch me."

She pushed him out of her way and headed for the door, but before she could reach for the handle, San appeared right in front of her out of thin air, causing her to step back in fear.

"What the-" She exclaimed.

"Let me repeat myself darling..."

San began to take steps towards her as she began to slowly retreat from him.

"I own you. You can't leave because you're mine now. I marked you so no one else takes you from me, in other words..."

He slammed his hand against the wall behind her when they reached it. She watched in horror as his dark orbs shifted into a fiery red color that burned deep in her soul.

"You're bound to me for all eternity...... and now you're a part of my world....and there's no turning back..."

࿇ ══━━━━✥◈✥━━━━══ ࿇

[talesofnovembria]

For a creepy scenario - Salena goes to visit chrome in the mucky cave and sees a hint of a demon lurking in the walls and in her friend

Send me a creepy scenario/location and character(s) and I’ll write a drabble for it.

She stood outside of the murky cave, the one which rarely housed her monochromatic brother friend. The location was not unfamiliar to her, having been here more than once… and yet here she stood. No one had come to greet her, though considering the trail of blackened footprints leading inside, there was definitely something off. Lewis’ normal trail were small grey drops along the path… the footsteps meant…

Ears pulled back slightly as the grass and dirt under her feet turned to stone.

Caves and darkness were common to find in the same space. It took some time for her eyes to adjust to the absence of light, able to make out the rough shapes of the stone walls, stalactites, and some of the more loose formations along the… mostly flat path. The ‘tink’ of her claws brushing across the path under her feet rang in her ears, so too did the ‘plop’ of water droplets hitting the floor. It was almost as if the echoing of the water was louder than any other sound she’d ever heard. If any more built up, she wondered if it might be possible for ambiance to harm her ears. So far, nothing seemed to be out of the ordinary, aside from Lewis not meeting her at the mouth of the cave. Then again, if what she suspected was correct, then he likely wouldn’t do so anyways.

Drip… Drip… Drip…

Plop.

Salena stopped short, something wet fell along one of her ears, sliding down to her shoulder. It was wet, but thick. Her hand moved up, her fingers feeling along the unknown material, feeling it warp around her fingers. Mud? Eyes turned up to the ceiling, nothing giving any indication that it should be dropping from above her. Her ears flicked around the area she stood in, still hearing nothing but the slow dropping of water.

So what caused this to fall on her?

She brushed the substance aside, continuing deeper into the cave. There was a split in the path, one way leading up, and the other leading down. Her ears twitched in the direction of the path leading down…

Drip… Drip… Drip…

There was that echo of the drops hitting a body of water. She knew enough to know that unless there was no other option, he wouldn’t go into water. It took a moment for her eyes to adjust to the upper path, following the rotting, spaced wooden path under her feet. It was a strange little detail. Had this once been a place people would come to? For work or as some sort of attraction? Regardless of the reason, they were far from being of any use now.

There was the faintest hint of a ‘squish’ sound beneath her feet, whatever it was she stepped in pushing up between the digits of her toes. She paused for a moment, lowering herself down to the ground to brush her fingers along the substance. More mud? That was… both a good and a bad thing… It did mean she was likely closer to finding her friend… but it was the state she would find him in which worried her the most.

Even ‘Chrome’ didn’t seem to produce this much, even at his lowest point. If it was a matter of him having melted into a puddle, then he probably wouldn’t have been able to make it all the way up the incline… or moved so deep inside the cave anyways.

Salena pushed herself back up to her feet, pressing ahead until she came to an overlook. If she had to guess, the edge would look over the water where the lower path led to. She paused as she came to the opening, noticing a darkened mass. It wasn’t close to the edge, rather sitting along the center of the outstretched platform. It… didn’t look human shaped, through knowing Lewis that wasn’t too strange.

Claws raked against stone as she stepped forward, still only the sound of water echoing.

Drip… Drip… Drip…

The mass shifted to the new sound. Seeing in the darkness usually wasn’t too much of an issue, not when places like Icecrown and Storm Peaks were always covered in darkness, or made for hunting under the moonlight… but in here, it’s almost as if the darkness swallowed any light that might have been able to reach this far in. She could still see the silhouette of the shape before her, but no physical features.

When he turned around, the outline of his face was… off. Even with his hair flowing in front of his ears, it wasn’t hard to pick up on how sharp the edges were… as if there was no flesh to cover the bone anymore. A skull? Frenzy was usually the only one in their main group that chose to wear his skull regularly, and Lewis never did. What caused her more concern was the small glow that soon appeared in his right eye socket. It confirmed what she already suspected… but it was the color…

Green…

No color ever touched his form…

His form seemed to slide over to her, the eye glowing brighter as he inched closer and closer. She didn’t move, simply letting her eyes fall on him.

“Salena…”

His tone was so dry… emotionless… but that was to be expected of the ‘persona’ he was stuck under. No… what seemed more unsettling was the way his arms moved up to her, trailing along her shoulders as if he were seeking comfort. The gesture itself had its own problems… While Lewis sought comfort from those around him more often than others… it wasn’t when he was like this. ‘Chrome’ shut down all his emotions, much like a defense mechanism. His fingers felt… elongated in a way… much in the same manner her canines were longer than normal canine teeth.

And the way his eye seemed to brighten once he was looking at her face. Her eyes narrowed slightly, arms moving around her shoulders to hold her at the back of her neck, “You’re here.”

Drip… Drip… Drip…

“What’s wrong, Lewis?”

“Nothing… I’m just glad you’re here.”

“Don’t lie to me.”

Drip…

“I’m not.”

Drip…

“You’re acting unlike yourself.”

Drip…

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m… fine…”

Plop.

[brownandblackpearls]

🍞 ℋunger (Asra x EDReader, ED.MC)

Memories of your disorder slowly return and take over once again. You fight it but one bad day reveals everything that you wanted to hide the most.

─── Asra x black female reader

─── imagery + fiction

─── no smut

─── TW: Eating disorders and explicit ED behaviors, hurt/comfort, past abandonment, body dysmorphia, body image, confrontation, if you know you have triggers with ED, skip this one.

.・゜゜・✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:.・゜゜・✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:・゜゜・．✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: *

.・゜゜・✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:.・゜゜・✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:・゜゜・．✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: *

Some days are harder than others. You try your best.

But often, the best just isn’t enough to keep the spiraling at bay.

Asra knows your fondness for baked goods and chocolate well. Since you raved about that pumpkin bread a few months ago, he’s insisted on bringing you loaves every few weeks.

But as more your memories return to you, not all of them are pleasant. You begin to recall everything, including the unhealthy habits you used to have, and how people reacted to them before.

You remember what it was like when you were younger and larger than you are right now, you remember how you were treated by others who had so much to say about your body and how it fit into their thoughts, into this life. You remember things said in passing by family, friends, people who were supposed to care about you and love you.

Now? No matter how much you’ve tried to throw away those instances, those memories, the reawakened disorder clutches to the trauma like a lifeline, desperate to live through you. Desperate to starve and purge, and lessen and lessen you until there’s no more fear of fat.

But that’s just the thing. The fear is endless.

And worse, it’s a lie.

You know you’re not fat...And you know being fat means nothing on your inherent worth, your value, your beauty, your being. But it feels too difficult to put this beast down on your own.

As strong as you are, as strong as you’ve become, you wonder if some demons are stronger.

So you hide it.

You don’t want Asra to know what you’re thinking when he unwraps another chocolate truffle for you, you don’t want him to hear you try and fail to eliminate what you’ve eaten late in the night, you don’t want him to understand the things you tell yourself in the dark of your mind on your lowest days. You don’t want him to know that it took wiping your memory entirely for you to rid yourself of a condition that’s plagued you since before you knew him, that you’ve hidden since before you knew him.

Some days, you can eat.

Some days, you can’t.

Asra finally realizes on one of the days you weren’t careful enough.

He had brought more of that damned pumpkin bread and you’d already been silently agonizing over your physique that entire morning. Dress after dress, outfit after outfit, none of them seem to fit quite right enough to quell your inner critic.

“I’ve brought you some more from the market.” Asra is happy, holding his prize out to you.

You plaster a strained smile onto your face, thanking him, but you realize too late that it doesn’t shine through your eyes.

He sees.

“Are you...feeling alright?” He asks. “Is it the bread...? Do you not like it anymore?”

You grit your teeth behind your lips in anxiety, shaking your head a little too quickly.

“No! No, I love it. I’m just feeling a little...ill, that’s all!”

Asra frowns and lays the back of his hand to your head, brushing it down your temple and trailing his fingers down your tumbles of hair.

“You don’t feel warm…maybe it’s a chest cold? I’ll make you some tea, alright?”

You nod, feeling awful for lying to him.

Ashamed and embarrassed of yourself, you try to save the mood by plucking up the bread from his hands.

“I’ll save and eat this for later, when I’m feeling better!”

The statement does little to quell Asra’s concern over your ‘chest cold’, but he spares you a brief, appreciative smile before rushing to make the tea.

You climb the steps of the shop and head to your room to hide the bread away.

It’s almost tucked into your drawer when you smell the scent of it.

‘Not now...’

Your stomach gurgles, sick of fasting and excited to consume more carbs, more sugar, some kind of quick energy supply. All those days you hid not eating while Asra was away are beginning to catch up with you.

You grit your teeth and begin to count backwards, planning on drinking plenty of water to help kill the craving. But before you know it, the bread’s out of the drawer, in your hands, and being stuffed fervently into your mouth.

Without even really being present for the act, you ravenously chew the bread down. For a moment, the endorphins of finally getting fed surge through you and lift your spirits.

Halfway through the loaf, you feel the crash.

Hands full of bread, face covered in crumbs, your eyes well up and you begin to wail silently. Your body bends over under the weight of the grief, unchewed pastry falling out of your mouth and hitting the floor. You clutch your hands into tight fists of aggravation at yourself, crushing the pumpkin bread and trembling under the intense amount of anguish you feel right this second.

‘How could I have eaten that? Why did I eat that? What have I done?’

‘Now I’ll gain. I’ll be big again. No one will want me because I can’t control myself. They’ll make sure to let me know it, too.’

‘He won’t want me. Just like the rest of them. He’ll see how I really am.’

You cry and cry, unaware of Faust sliding out from under your bed. She tilts her head at you, swaying closer.

‘…!’

She cries your name.

Your mind is filled with fast thoughts that you can’t stop, and you don’t catch how Faust tries to reach you.

‘Sad? Hurt?’

When you don’t answer, Faust quickly slithers out the room, unseen.

Before long, fast footsteps ring out from the hall and you hear your door open.

‘Oh no...’

Asra calls your name and you hide further into yourself, clutching the floor.

He hates you, there is no doubt now, he is seeing the ugliness of your secret, the self-loathing, the ridiculousness of falling apart over blasted pumpkin bread, the lack of self-control, the fear, the shame, the shame, the shame—

Asra calls your name again, pulling you by the shoulders into him.

You try to keep your sobs in, your body wracking with the intensity of them. Your trembling grows to the point where it frightens even you.

As soft as water, Asra soothes a hand down your face, your neck, and calls to you as one would to an injured, trapped fawn.

“It’s alright. Let it out. Don’t hold on to all of that, let it out. I’ve got you, I’m here now.”

The sobs come then, long and loud and persistent. Years and years of pent up secrecy, of pain, of long body checks in mirrors and pools, of hidden and regurgitated food, of meanly whispered words and condemnations….all of it spills out of you.

When the waves of grief finally cease, Asra just holds you.

‘He is still here?’ you think. ‘Why?’

You wait for abandonment. You know how that feels. That is familiar. Judgement is familiar. Pain is familiar. And you just know it is coming.

Yet, nothing happens. Asra continues to hold you. No one says a word.

Long heavy silence rings in the air before he finally speaks.

“Faust said…that you…after you ate the bread…”

You nod stiffly into his chest, sniffling.

“I don’t eat.” You say plainly. “I never eat. At least, I try. But then I do and I ruin myself.”

Asra cradles your face, peering at you.

“Ruin yourself? From one piece of pumpkin bread?”

You tear up again, certain that you look and sound a complete mess.

“You don’t understand,” you insist, “it’s because of me…! Anyone else could have it…but not me, because if I have it…I’ll g-g-g-g-” you can’t even get the words out. “I just can’t.”

“Is this just about the bread? Or other foods...?”

Your face wilts and you look down in shame.

He knows, then.

“How long have you felt like this...?”

You trace the floor, shaking your head.

“...Years. I’m so sorry.”

“What...? Why didn’t you tell me? I would’ve helped you. You know I would’ve—”

Your face twists and you close your eyes, tears spilling out.

“—It’s…it’s stupid…! It doesn’t even matter, I’ve been told so in the past…I’ve told others before, and nothing was done or I was criticized, or they left and I…I just was afraid that…you’d see how silly I was...how damaged I am….that you might leave…”

Asra pulls you so close to him that you can hear his heart thrum like a locomotive in his chest. He is worried sick over you, you suddenly realize.

“Look at me,” he demands, his voice so serious that you can recall nothing like it from all the years of knowing him.

You obey, eyes wide and watery.

“I will never leave you,” Asra promises so solemnly, that he sounds as if he is swearing an oath on his very soul. “I love you, do you understand that? You could change in a thousand ways and I’d still love you. You could fall for another and I’d still love you, and watch over you until we were all dust in the wind. You are the most important thing in my life and it’s my job to protect you, to uplift you. I don’t ever want you to think I would leave you. Especially not over something like this.”

“I-I’m sorry!” You plead for forgiveness for doubting his love. You know that he is loyal to you, you do. It’s just...the disorder makes it so difficult to think sometimes, to remember the truth. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have doubted you…I just…! I don’t know. I didn’t want to upset you...?”

“I am upset that I couldn’t have helped you with this sooner, that I didn’t realize. I should have realized...” Asra admits, frowning to himself. “But I can help you now. You’ve told me, and it’s alright now. We’ll face this together.”

You cling to Asra’s shirt like a lifeline, just breathing.

You know you have a long, difficult road to walk. You know it’s not as easy as finally getting the help and support you need, that there’s not a snap of fingers or a spell even that can speed this process for you. It can’t do the work for you.

You will have to learn how to eat without shame again. How to stop internalizing the pain and abandonment from the past. How to realize that pumpkin bread is just pumpkin bread, and that this was never about the food to begin with.

You will have to learn to look in a mirror and smile genuinely, even on the bad days. You will have to learn to eat food without calorie-counting, without crying.

You know there will be nights where you will fail, days where you stumble, and moments where you wish for nothing more but to be ill once again.

Asra can be there to hold your hand, to keep you steady, but he can’t do the work that you will have to do.

But you also know...

...you are worth it. A good life is worth it. A life with someone who cares for you, who loves you, is worth it. And deep down, you know that you care and love yourself, in a way, through all the pain.

You want to overcome. To heal.

Asra’s voice breaks you out of your trance.

“You’re not alone anymore. I’ll...I’ll write to Julian! And we’ll all come up with a plan, together. Okay? We can start today. Okay..?”

You keep your eyes locked on him, holding. Just holding.

“Okay. I’m ready.”

.・゜゜・✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:.・゜゜・✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:・゜゜・．✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: *

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