#and of course we love a 'we can't afford losing you right now <3' to keep someone in check out of necessity 😭😭😭❤️

[after-nine-at-the-oasis]

A A A A H H H H H H H!! YESSSS CECIL, DEFEND YOUR HUSBAND!!!! WE LOVE TO SEE IT <333

So anyway I caught up on the most recent two episodes of wtnv and listen he may have missed but he tried your honor <33 that's what's important

The entire episode was adorable :) and also blood boiling at points xD, but I'm mostly stuck on that part XD.

Also ALL HAIL. 😭😭💔❤️

[nightmarist]

Some Zevlor Things —

EDIT 12/2/23: Added a few more things

A fellow Tiefling Hellrider, Tilses, is with him in the caves acting as his bodyguard. He sometimes calls her Tilly.

There is one bedroll in the caves shoved off in the far corner with a book titled "The Devil You Know: An Autobiography" - not sure if it's his personal writing or if he's reading it, either way it adds to the flavor of his of his tiefling pride (and/or anguish).

It reads:

Have you ever had a god change your blood? It is a horrifying thing, even for those who may desire it. Yet few tieflings wished for Asmodeus to claim their bodies, only be given no choice in the matter. It is not as if we were well-loved before the archdevil's gambit. Our people have always struggled against the notion of 'devilkin', as if a single drop of infernal ichor inescapably corrupts. How amusing, when so many others willingly sell their souls to fiends, yet their culture as a whole escapes the blame. By what method can we redeem ourselves, when the crime is not ours? I would drive a blade into every warlock that aided Asmodeus' damned ritual, but personal vengeance cannot undo the will of a god, much less one as slippery as the Lord of Lies. When every passerby thinks you a thief and heretic, it is deeply tempting to become one. (cut off) The only thing that has stopped me is knowing Asmodeus wants nothing more than for all of us to fall from grace.

Around the his table are Invasion Plans for Elturgard, Traveler's Guide to Baldur's Gate, Traveler's Guide to the Sword Coast Vol IV: The Risen Road (which aligns when he tells you earlier there are gnolls on the road), and "Front and Center: a Thespian's Memoir" that reads:

"... in fact, the greatest joy of my life hasn't been acting, but becoming. When you choose a character to play, you don't just wear a mask - you take a little bit of their soul for your own. Whoever you are in your heart of hearts, if only by the faintest note."

Zevlor aside I think this is a sweet quote for the player and player character relationship <3

Dialogue in the Caves:

Zevlor: I Hardly need a bodyguard, Tilses. This isn't Avernus. Tilses: No sir. At least the monsters there looked like monsters.

—

Tilses: Commander— Zevlor: Just Zevlor, Tilly. We're civilians now, remember? Tilses: With respect, sir — being a Hellrider is for life. They can't take — Zevlor: They can, and did. Avernus changed things — best we get used to that. Tilses: ... Yes, Zevlor

—

Tilses: The Watch or the Flaming Fist? Zevlor: Pardon? Tilses: When we get to Baldur's Gate. Where are we enlisting? Zevlor: I'm done soldiering, Tilly. I'd like a clean start. But go with the Watch. You're too honest to be a mercenary.

—

Zevlor: No word from the scouts, yet? Tilses: No sir. But if there's a clear path past the goblins, they'll find it. Zevlor: Yes, of course.

ITEMS —

in the Chest there is a bronze goblet, 46 gold, and a battle-worn blade. On his person he has his gloves (Hellrider's Pride), an apple, a camp supply pack, and the key to his chest.

The blade says:

A fine by well-used sword. It seemed to have once belonged to a holy order, but the indication of rank and patron deity at the hilt have recently been filed down.

The gloves' flavor text says:

A waft of sulphur emanates from this proudly-kept piece.

Celebration at the Camp:

"I should be out there, talking with them. In... Just a moment, maybe." "Is this everyone? Our numbers have grown so few..." "No more. I can't afford to lose any more of them." "No. Let them have fun. I'll be ruining it come morning anyway."

Mindfayer Colony:

Things he mumbles in the Pod:

The pod will show you his memories of Elturel:

After saving Zevlor, I forced myself to pick the "mean" options just to see how it goes.

If you tell him its his fault tieflings were imprisoned in moonrise, he says:

If you tell him "Do yo have a right to ask?" when he asks about the tieflings:

He doesn't argue with any of your remarks except one, when he says "For a moment I welcomed it" and you tell him "For a moment until you realized your reward would be a tadpole" he corrects you:

If you tell him if he wanted power he should live up to his own ideal:

If you tell him to get out of your sight:

When you tell him it's not his fault he was enthralled:

If you tell him "Fine. Good luck, Zevlor."

If you say you could use another blade in the fight to come:

At the Netherbrain:

(smiling <3)

"The journey has been brutal, but I stand here a Hellrider once more, and I would die a proud man if I died this day."

I know it's a Soldier thing to be proud to die for a cause but it still makes me worry for him given his background so far <:]

If you click on him, he has two unvoiced lines:

if you pickpocket him at this point, he'll have the same items on him as before (in this save he has a carrot instead of an apple for me).

His stats at this time: (Steeped in Bliss is from one of my items)

Post Game (Patch 5)

I don't know if there are other permutations of this letter, yet, but this is what I received:

I hope my penmanship has improved somewhat in the past months. When I first stumbled into this city, I shook so badly that I could scarcely hold the soup the priests pressed into my hands - let alone write and thank you as you deserve. It is only when the city itself began to shake that I felt my hands grow still. Along with the other veterans sheltering at the temple - discards of Elturel's 'unworthy' legions - I watched that monstrosity rise over the city. We felt no fear. Only anger. Disgust. Purpose - and with it, power. I do not know what oath we cling to now, or how long it will last - but we shall use it to ensure that this city will not suffer as Elturel did. Whether it wants us or not. It is more than thanks alone I owe. No words can make amends for what I did to my people, but that is as it should be. More come to the temple every day to aid in the relief efforts, and if I am permitted to work alongside them, then I am content. Come and see us, when you can. Zevlor

It's interesting — if not bitterswet, tragic, and inspiring — to hear that Zevlor and other Paladins regained their Oaths via pure, stubborn devotion to saving people when it began to look as bad as Elturel.

[the-froschamethyst4]

Making the Biscuits

𖤐Pairing: König x F!Reader

𖤐Pronouns: She/Her

𖤐Warnings: EXTERNE FLUFF, language, some slight jealously,

𖤐Summary: Y/n was a black cat she named King. She got the cat before she met König, she jokes saying it was fate but King hates König and vice versa but what happens when König has to watch King for the first time??

————

————

König stared at the black cat that hated him with a passion, the cat carried an evil look on his face, but right when Y/n pets his head he looks so happy.

"So the directions on how much food to give King is on his cat food, scoops in the bag...that should be it, for now, anything else I'll probably call me or text," she says, looking at her boyfriend König.

"Of course, Liebe," he says, standing up from the couch and placing his hands on her waist. He looks over her shoulder seeing the black cat, discreetly flipping the cat off, earning a hiss from King, and a quick bat at his finger.

Y/n didn't believe her King was a bad cat, she loves her cat with a passion, König just picks on the poor cat, calling him names and batting at the cat like he does to König.

"Behave, I'll be back in a few days," she tells König and kissed his lips. She turns to her cat, squishing his face in her hands and peppering his head and face in kisses. "I'll be back," she tells him.

"Damn cat," König mumbles under his breath.

"Okay, have fun, bye," Y/n says, leaving her house.

And immediately King hissed at König and ran off into Y/n's home office.

"STUPID CAT!" König yells at the cat, like he could understand him.

-------

12:00PM

König sat on the couch turning on the TV and King had come out from the home office, he perched himself on his cat tree just next to the TV, batting at the ball that was hanging, there was a bell inside, a very annoying bell inside the ball.

King was doing it to annoy König, but König had the patience of a saint and that a loud high pitched bell wasn't going to break him.

When King realized that König wasn't going to break, he jumps off his cat tree and went to the dark brown leather couch where König was sitting, rubbing his head and back on the leather couch and then deciding to sharpen his claws.

König turns and shoos the cat away.

"Stop that," he says, pushing the cat away, King swatted at König's hand drawing a bit of blood on his hand, but that didn't bother König, he's had worse happen to him.

König had gotten off the couch and grabbed a squirt bottle filled it with water, and he would spread it at King if he did it again, which wasn't long, King started to do it again and König sprayed him.

King went crazy and headed to his cat tree. He's never been sprayed before, so it made him go a bit insane.

König leaned back against the couch again, King was off his cat tree again and headed to the front door, he jumps at the handle getting König's attention.

"Do you need to go out?" A low gruff meow came from King as he bats at the door handle again, König gets off the couch and opens the front door for King, who took off immediately, then it hit König.

"Wait...KING YOU'RE NOT AN OUTDOOR CAT!!" König can't afford to lose his girlfriend cat on his first day of watching him. König grabs his shoes and starts running after King.

"KING!!"

--------

3:00PM

3 Hours later and König was walking back home with King in his arms. King was trying to break free from König's arms but he wasn't going to put King down.

König opens the door and drops King on the tile just in front of the door and he runs to his cat tree.

König sits on the couch, head back against the window and his arms fell at his side.

If it wasn't for the little girl who found King, König would be 6 feet under, with a headstone saying Dead: lost his girlfriends cat.

"Cat...I hate you, and I know you hate me...but...we need to get along...for Y/n, anyways," King's head jumped up hearing Y/n's name but of course didn't see Y/n.

König gets off the couch and heads to the kitchen seeing King's cat food, it was close enough for King to be fed. König grabbed King's cat dish that was a matte black with gold lettering of his name, he grabs the scoop from inside the bag and pours his one cup of food.

Once King heard his food hit his dish, he comes running into the kitchen with his gruff meow, he looks up at König pawing at him to drop his bowl.

König placed his bowl back on his mat next to his water dish looking like his food dish, König then grabs his water dish refilling it with water and placing it back next to his food bowl.

King was eating and König was finding something to eat. He opens the fridge and pulled out some leftover spaghetti and reheated it in the microwave and taking it to the living room.

King came waltzing in licking his lips and jumping on the couch sitting next to König who popped open a can of beer. King then meowed and pawed at a lose noodle hanging off the plate.

"HEY!" König moved his plate away from King. "You just ate, it's my turn."

King just meows and climbs on König's lap, he holds his plate up higher from King's reach and König had to eat by stretching his neck and eating, King would meow and try to stretch to reach the plate.

"Cat...get...off..." König was saying in between chewing his food.

Meow! He says loudly.

"Knock it off...I'll spray you with the bottle again," he threatens but King still keeps trying to get at König's food.

--------

10:14PM

König was getting ready for bed now, he was only in sweatpants and was drying off his face, he steps into the bedroom he shared with Y/n and her dumb cat.

King was stretched out on König's side of the bed, like usual.

"Sucks for you bud, but I like Y/n's side better," he yanks up the covers disturbing King's sleep and getting under the covers on Y/n's side of the bed.

King hissed at him and fell on König's pillow. Clawing at the pillow, König swats at King making him stop.

--------

6:30AM

The sun was peaking into the bedroom. König still asleep letting out his usual low snores. King had made himself comfortable on König's eyes, his soft body blocked out the sunlight.

König's snores were cut off and was waking up, his hands went to the soft body over his eyes, and started to pet King's soft body.

King hisses at König and got off of him.

"You're the dumb cat who was sleeping on me," König says, getting off the bed and heading to the shower. He had work today.

After his shower and giving King his usual scoop of food before he leaves for work.

King walks around the house meowing for someone. He goes to the living room and didn't see anyone. He heads to the window that was behind the couch and perched himself there.

-------

"König, how's babysitting your girls, cat?" Soap teased him.

"That damn cat hates me. I wake up and he's on my face, I pet him and he still fucking hisses at me."

"He laid on you?" Price asked, coming in and sitting next to him.

"Yeah, surprised me too, he's never laid on me, last night after I fed him and I was eating, he was trying to eat my food, something he's also never done before, he doesn't even do that with Y/n. King is ALWAYS with Y/n, so he's acting a bit different," König says.

"Maybe he's finally warming up to you?"

"Maybe, Y/n should leave you two more offend," everyone laughs.

--------

4:00PM

King laid on the window seal still looking outside, he was waiting for someone, but who exactly? King yawns and when he does, König pulls into the driveway.

King stretches up and heads to the front door, he hears the door knob turn and he starts meowing and clawing at his pants.

"Bud," König bends down and pets King's head, he stands on König's knee and paws at his mask. König puts his hands on King's waist picking him up. King didn't hiss, didn't fight König but instead rubs his head on König's mask.

"What do you want?" König asked, King who just meowed at him.

-------

König hasn't put down King since he's been home, King won't let him put him down. König tried to change out of his uniform and King would just meow, meow, and meow till König picked him back up.

He sits on the couch with King next to him, his arm on King's side as König was watching his usual Crime fighting show. King paws at König's leg then King started to make biscuits on König's thigh.

King never makes biscuits on König, he's seen King make biscuits on Y/n before, this felt like an honor that King was doing this.

King then made biscuits on König's stomach.

-------

A few days Later

Y/n had walked through her home calling out to her boyfriend and cat. She walks to the kitchen seeing König dance around shirtless and in sweatpants, King sitting on the counter watching him make lunch.

King then looks and saw Y/n and let out a soft meow, making König turn and look at Y/n.

"Hey," he says.

"Hi," she smiles, walking to them both, kissing König's lips and petting King's head and kissing between his ears. "How was everything?" She asked.

King and König looked at each other.

"Good," König smiles and King meows rubbing his head on Y/n's palm.

"Well, that's good, I'm glad you two are getting along," she says, kissing König's cheek.

[whumpshaped]

this spiralled out of control i apologise. beck's head will clear in 3, 2, 1-

masterlist

tw vampire whumper, suggestive stuff, mind control, threat of death, threat of murder, lots of threats in general, power dynamics, intimate whumper, murder mention

"Oh, I do love it here." Helle stretched out on the king sized bed while Beck was left to stand in the bedroom door, silently fuming. That was his bed, and his room, and his home. "Thank you for asking."

"I didn't," he said quietly, a show of ridiculous defiance he seldom afforded himself. But his home was being turned into a fucking vampire den! Helle went and looked at his treasured family photos, his decorations, touched all his possessions, all while he could do nothing but sit on the sofa and wait for them to leave.

And then they came back. Again. And again. And again. Because they could, and because this was now their new favourite hangout spot; ever since the fucking date night.

"No, I think you did." They gave him a look, a warning, one that Beck always felt compelled to heed. Not this time. He thought he had enough pent up anger to be a little disobedient, so he steeled his nerves and decided to speak up. Well, about as well as a mouse would've against the neighbourhood cat.

"You– you're being... very unfair," he said slowly, forcing out the words one by one, considering each one before committing to it. That wasn't what he'd wanted to say, of course. But he somehow had to repackage his... more blunt sentiments. "And, and you can do that, you can absolutely be as horrible to me as you want. I can't... I can't do anything about it. But I don't want to play along today."

Helle's expression turned playful, and they rolled over to one side of the bed, petting the other as an invitation. Beck wanted to explode when he saw his own fucking bed being offered back to him at a price — a very steep price at that. He didn't want to be anywhere near the fucking vampire.

"Oh, come on," they insisted when he didn't move. He just shook his head.

"Please, get off my bed. You're– you're in your street clothes, and you're rolling around on my blanket that I use after I've showered and I'm clean–"

"Oh, is that the issue?" they asked with a mischievous smile, glancing down at their clothes. "If it is, we can definitely remedy–"

"It's not! It's– it's one of many issues!" he snapped, his little outburst startling him more than it did Helle. "S-sorry. I– just, please, get off."

"You know, sometimes I like it when you get mad at me. Even beyond just the entertainment factor. Because, you see... you are so bland on the surface, but whenever you get angry, it is almost like... I can tell there is something more there."

Bland? What kind of backhanded compliment was that? Or was it just an insult? Beck was so caught off guard that he couldn't even respond before Helle had already moved on, petting the bed again.

"Now, do get over here before I lose interest and just start snapping some bones for fun."

He swallowed, the memory of Helle holding his wrist in their hand and cheerily explaining how easily they could break it seeping back into the forefront of his mind and making his legs move of their own accord. "I said I was sorry," he tried as he carefully lowered himself onto his bed like it was a minefield.

"Yes, I know. And more often than not, I am also fine playing along. But not today, right? Today we are brave and honest."

He hated the way they said that. He had no idea what stupid game they had in mind that required them both on the same bed, but he was starting to get increasingly nervous about it — while Helle easily propped themself up on their elbow, lying on their side, looking at him excitedly like they were at a sleepover.

"I want you to tell me what you actually think. Of me, of spending the night with a vampire, with the specific vampire who has been so mean to you. I want to hear it."

"Wh- what?"

"It is painfully obvious that you are holding back. An understandable choice. But now I want you to just say it. Tell me something absolutely vile."

"I, I don't... I... no, but this, this is what I mean, this is unfair, how can you even– you, you could hurt me so badly," he said, his voice barely above a whisper.

"Is that an invitation?" They raised their free hand before he could answer, cutting him off. "I know, I know. It is not. Not yet, anyway. But very well, if you will not share of your own volition, you shall share under enthrallment."

Beck sat up immediately, his urge to get away suddenly unbearable. "No! No, you said you wouldn't, you said you wouldn't use it!"

"I will if I have to," they cooed. "Or you can just tell me."

"I... will I be punished for this?" he asked hesitantly.

"Oh, Beck, stop being such a coward for one second. Indulge. I can tell you my most depraved thoughts about you in exchange, if–"

"No. No, I, I don't think I want to hear any of that."

"Well, I might tell you anyway. But for now, let me hear your honest opinion."

He didn't want to be enthralled. Now that he was so focused on it, he could already feel it creeping closer and closer at the edges of his consciousness, poking and prodding and gently pushing him to just do it. He knew it could turn vicious at any moment, seizing the information by violently ripping it from his mind against his will.

"I hate you," he said in a shaky little voice, ruining weeks of fantasies of himself yelling these words at the vampire. "I, I hate everything about you, everything that reminds me of you, I hate feedings, I hate you being here, I hate you touching me and my things and, and bringing who knows what into my house, you're ruining my life, I– I wish–" He cut himself off, and Helle pushed further into his mind, forcing the words out of his mouth without his consent. "I wish you had been buried with a stake in your heart back whenever you died. I wish I was there, seeing it through, I wish I could've done it. Hell, you're the only reason I keep a stake in my home, you're the only vampire I ever imagine killing, but I imagine it often and in great detail. I am thoroughly fucking disgusted by you, and I truly wish you were dead and rotting somewhere."

Their hold on him suddenly disappeared, and he was left with the knowledge of what he'd just told Helle to their face. He couldn't run away. He couldn't defend it. He couldn't explain it away. All he could do was sit there and watch them process all of it, hoping that whatever punishment this warranted, he could negotiate it to be a little lighter.

He had never realised just how terrifying a concept enthrallment was. He had been spoiled before, continually presented with choices he thought were impossible... but no, impossible felt completely different. It was his mind being effortlessly taken over and toyed with, it was being helpless, completely helpless against it.

"Okay," Helle said after a while, plopping down onto their back. "Bring your stake and get it over with."

"What..?"

"If you do not comply with this order, I will find the stake and drive it through your heart."

Beck almost fell off the bed in his haste to grab the stake from the drawer of his nightstand, clutching it in his hands uncertainly as he turned back to see Helle still lying on their back, docile as ever. They didn't make a single move to stop him as he reluctantly inched closer.

"You– you wouldn't actually let me," he stammered, and they shrugged.

"You are not going get a better chance."

Well... that much was true. And yet, all he did was kneel there on the bed with a stake in his hand and stare at the vampire.

"You know, from the amount of family photo albums I have flipped through, I could easily find and recognise your mother. Or your brother, really. I wonder whether they would be any more fun, or this particular brand of blandness runs in your family." They looked up at him with a coy smile. "I might just go find out for myself after I've staked you."

There weren't many things Beck was as fiercely protective of as his family. Rage bubbled up in his chest with every word Helle uttered, and he instantly moved to straddle their waist, raising the stake high above his head. He had a clear shot. Helle wasn't defending themself. They were telling him that only one of them was going to leave this room alive, and that if it was them, they would slaughter the rest of his family.

And yet... now that he was actually here, on top of the vampire who had been tormenting him, the thought of killing them was intimidating. It wasn't even killing, all he was doing was sending them back where they belonged! But... but what vampire would take over their territory? Would those vampires grab him too? Would they immediately enthrall him, pump him full of venom, leave him to die? Did he... did he really hate Helle that much..?

He shook his head a little, trying to get rid of the thoughts. This had to be the lingering effects of the enthrallment he'd read about. He did hate them, he hated them more then anything, he wanted them dead, properly, permanently dead. And yet his body wouldn't comply. He wasn't a murderer. He just... he couldn't...

Beck flinched and almost dropped the stake when Helle suddenly moved, trailing their fingers up his thighs, over his hips and onto his waist. He lowered his hands to push theirs away, but they were faster, grabbing him by the wrists and tugging his hands over to their chest. The point of the stake was now right above their unbeating heart, mere inches away from killing them; and they looked up at him with the same calm as always, almost– fond, or... or...

"You could do it now," they whispered, not letting him pull his hands back even if he wanted to. "All those mean, condescending insults, all that pain from feedings, all the ruined date nights, all that frustration from having to tolerate a leech like me in your home... gone."

"I can't," he whispered back, trying to blink away tears of shame. He just couldn't. His life was on the line. His family's life. And he couldn't.

"Why?"

He shook his head again. Maybe he didn't fully know, maybe he just didn't want to talk about it. Maybe he felt like he could just say no now that he was holding a stake to their heart.

"I thought you hated me."

"I do." His hands were shaking badly, worse by the second as Helle slowly worked his fingers loose from the stake. "But I– I don't know what would happen afterwards. And I don't want to kill anybody–"

"I'm already dead, Beck."

"I know." He let them take the stupid piece of wood, the one he now knew he'd never actually get to use because of his own cowardice. He yelped when Helle suddenly flipped their positions, settling comfortably between his legs and putting the pointed end of the stake against his heart.

"I let you do this because I thought it would be a nice little lesson," they said easily, almost pleasantly, no doubt enjoying the way he trembled under them. "I knew you would not be able to do it. At least I was confident enough. Of course, had you tried, I would have simply stopped you... but you did not even try."

There was no trace of fear in their voice or on their face from having been so close to death, nor was there a single tremor that would've run through their hands as they threatened someone with a very much lethal weapon. This wouldn't have been their first kill; nor their first death, for that matter. Beck stifled a little whimper at the thought.

"Whether you admit it or not, you love to hate me. You love to point to me and say I am the source of your problems, you love to fantasise about my death being the end of your misery, but you know it is not true. You love knowing that you do not have to fear vampires out at night anymore, aside from the one you already know. One that is, quite frankly–"

"Spoiling me," he blurted out, and their smile widened.

"Yes. Spoiling you. No magic. No quick and easy scrambling of your fragile, human mind. You love to think I am strict and cruel, because it makes you feel better about the world. You love to think I am the worst of it. But you know it is not true."

"I do, now." He could hear the blood rushing in his ears as he stared up at the murderous being so close to killing him, and he dared hope they wouldn't. Because he knew them, and they knew him, and he dared hope that in itself was enough to keep him from dying tonight.

"I killed my sire like this." They sounded nostalgic, as though they were recalling their most pleasant memories. "There is something... quite special about staking someone. Forcing a piece of wood between their ribs, piercing their heart... I do love doing it. It is quite... intimate."

Beck felt the point be driven further into his skin, nestling between strands of the fabric in his shirt and drawing blood underneath. Maybe he wouldn't have been able to drive it through someone's chest without any momentum. Helle was definitely more than capable.

He held his breath, waiting for his death as the vampire watched the droplet of blood soak a small circle of red into his pristine shirt. Then they threw the stake aside, grabbing a hold of his wrist instead. "But if I staked you tonight, how would I ever turn you into my adoring little vampire servant? No, I am afraid that will have to wait." They kissed the inside of his wrist, and Beck shivered, bracing himself for the bite that would come as a direct result of his own incompetence. "But I am very pleased that this honesty hour has brought us a bit closer together."

~

taglist: @whumpsday @the-scrapegoat @hidden-dreamland @dismemberment-on-a-tuesday-night @delicateprincepaper @whumppmuhw @florissimps @nicolepascaline @oliversrarebooks

[yellowhollyhock]

More O'Neil Technologies thoughts

Irma will of course still be boy/girl crazy. Maybe I will even think about some people for her to date.

Also more importantly she will randomly be like "I could do that" about the craziest things. Like I mean for a certain thing they're designing they're working with miners because they need this very specific mineral and it turns out it is usually mined unethically and so now they have a social justice side quest which they will approach by designing safer means but they are also in touch with the mining company's union and yeah anyway it's a whole side quest. And Irma is very involved because it's all very administrative, but the whole time she's very clueless because of all the technical language, following April around like 'what did he say? why are they upset? oh did we make the deal are we done? no? ah beans. well when's lunch'

But at the end of it when things start working out, what all she's been observing starts to sink in and she's like 'I could be a miner'

And other just random things like that. Leatherhead has her help him hold Timothy still to put a bandaid on him Once and she's like 'I am a medical assistant :)'

idk I'm thinking about Super Irma and Donatello's Degree and I just love an Irma who is a healthy daydreamer and a little bit full of herself.

April is used to this from their college years, deeply admires it actually, her general response is like 'cool keep me updated.' Casey takes everything anyone at O'Neil Tech says seriously except for Timothy anf the Neutrinos, so he's often scratching his head like 'is Irma quitting?? Oh no I get it she's just moving departments! Do we have a, uh, mining department?'

Donny gives her heck about it. Of course at first he's a polite little sweetheart but as he gets to know her and starts to feel more comfortable in his role as technically-her-boss, these two are going to banter so much

Irma: I think I could be a scientist

Donny: Sure, I'll train you right after Timothy becomes a ninja.

Irma: Thanks! I--wait a minute

Donny: lol

~

Irma: I could be a truck driver.

Donny: You know you'd be driving your own truck, not in the passenger seat next to the hunky men, right?

Irma: Hey, leave me alone. It's easy for you, you already have a cool car and a hunky girlfriend.

Donny: I'll build you a truck if you stop daydreaming on the clock (he jests)

Irma: I'll call HR on you

Donny, deadpan: No, please, don't, I'm terrified of mutants.

Irma 😈: I'll tell him how many coffees you had today.

Donny, suddenly sincere: No wait please don't call Leatherhead--I was just kidding honest go back to daydreaming I'll leave you alone.

Irma, picking up the phone

Donny: I'm going I'm going!

~

Irma: You know, I could probably learn acupuncture. Do you think I could learn acupuncture?

Donny: I'm sitting on pins and needles

Irma: But do you think I could?

Donny: I'm glad I have a shell

~

Irma: I could probably be a politician.

Donny: A politician? Are we that miserable to work for? Do we need to negotiate a raise?

Irma:

Donny: Wait let me guess.. it was the men in suits 😑

Irma: You don't understand his teeth--

Donny: Aaahshd I don't wanna hear this!

Irma: They literally sparkled like a cartoon character~

Donny: You need to raise your standards.

Irma: I want a 15% raise.

Donny:

Irma: What? I'm raising my standards :3

Donny, squinting: Well-played, Langenstein. Well-played

('No but seriously,' he will say later, 'We need you in the role you're in. You could easily be a politician or even a miner probably, but we'd be losing an administrator with unmatched negotiation skills, the ability to pick things up quickly, stay level in any kind of situation--we can't afford to lose you.'

'Alright alright I'm not going anywhere. But do feel free to tell me anytime how invaluable I am to the company.'

Harold, watching the exchange: 'Well Donny certainly can't negotiate')

[arlincsolis]

How do you stay motivated to keep writing when you have no inspiration??

How I Stay Motivated

Staying motivated to write takes a lot of work. Motivation to write will come and go. For example:

The Kingdom of Misfortune (TKOM): It took me 6 years to write this book, mostly because I wasn't motivated. I was in high school, then college, suffering through an illness and losing an entire organ in my digestive tract. But I now know tips that would've saved me so much more time if I had just followed them.

The Whispers of Eternity (TWOE): It took me a year to fully finish this book.

The new secret series: The first book took me three months.

So, I have some tricks I've learned since 2021, when I released TKOM, which I will happily share.

Outlining.

When I wrote TKOM, I did it entirely off the dome. At the time, I didn't see a problem with that, but I experimented with some outlining with TWOE and learned that it really does wonders. It does more than I thought it would. Outlining sets an expectation. It allows me to know where this chapter will start, what it will contain, and where it will end. Of course, sometimes my characters throw me a curveball, and we go off the outline. That is okay because outlines can be adjusted. Another thing outlining really helps me with is if you go a few days without writing and need help remembering precisely what a character says, you don't have to go hunt for what chapter it's in. In my outline, I give a brief one-sentence description of a conversation. "They talked about his childhood," for example. That tells me if I need to remember what was said, that is the chapter I need to reread. It saves me so much time. You just need to be good at summarizing the entire chapter within one short paragraph.

Set Goals.

You can set goals that you want to meet and hold yourself to it. Could you start with small goals that you want to accomplish each day? This could be as simple as writing 3,000 words a day. Could you give yourself a time limit each day to achieve these goals? I set harsh deadlines for myself to follow with TWOE. I wanted the first rough draft completed within five months. I accomplished that even though I wasn't motivated each day because I stuck to my goals. Do not set yourself up for failure by setting unreasonable goals. You know yourself better than anyone else. What works for some people will not work for you, which is okay. Just because I wrote the first draft of a book in three months does not mean that's reasonable for you. This is my third one, after all.

Take Breaks.

Taking breaks is essential. It keeps you from getting burnt out on your ideas. Sometimes, you cannot force writing. It's okay to put a project down for a little bit. You must be confident in your ability to shelve something to work on something else. For example, I shelved book 3 of The Western World Chronicles for an entirely new series. I knew I wasn't in the right place to write it. Don't force it. Return when your mind is fresh and ready to continue. Breaks don't have to be long, either. Short breaks are just as helpful. Days, weeks, months. They're all valid.

Avoid Distractions.

Sometimes, you just need to lock yourself in a quiet room with no TV, music, or anything else. I can't write if my husband is in the room. He's my biggest distraction, and multiple times, I have had to lock him out of the room. Of course, this requires money, but some people work best if they travel to a remote place specifically to write. I would love to be able to afford to travel to the places where my new series takes place. It has multiple settings all over the US and even the rest of the world. I'd love to write these chapters in these places and experience what life is like there. Greece and Dubai are two areas directly mentioned in the new series. I've never been to either.

Reward Yourself.

Each time you meet one of your goals, reward yourself. Go get ice cream! Order a new book! Set up a gold star chart for yourself like they do kindergartens. Do whatever will make you feel accomplished.

Write Everyday.

I don't mean to write your story every day. Just write something every day. There are multiple places to go to get free writing prompts. Do one every day. Make it a habit and stick to it.

Enter Writing Contests.

Shockingly, I still do this. Reedsy, for example, has writing contests. You do have to pay to enter for a chance at a prize, but if you just want to enter a story for others to read but not to be judged or do the prompt, it is entirely free. You can enter hundreds of other contests; you just have to find them.

Find Inspiration.

Sometimes, inspiration doesn't flow. In the writing space, there is no such thing as a completely original idea. There are too many books and authors for that. If you've drawn inspiration from something for your current project, please feel free to soak it up. Each time you're feeling unmotivated, return to it. You can also look for similar titles in the same genre and check them out. Do not copy, though. Copying and taking inspiration from are two different things.

Take Care of Yourself.

My most important tip is that you should ALWAYS take care of yourself. Make sure you've eatenand drink water or another liquid while you write. Take care of your body. Take a shower. Go to the gym. These things help you not only physically but also mentally.

There are more tips. I am sure I could come up with another five, but these are the ones I use daily. I think they are the most important ones to follow.

I hope this helps :D

-Angela

[alanaanew]

Meet 𝓐𝓵𝓪𝓷𝓪 🐚

Okay, I’ve gone rogue. I’ve taken on a second character--and I cannot wait to set her loose on ya’ll. 

Meet 𝓐𝓵𝓪𝓷𝓪. She’s the complete opposite of Bandit in every way, my sunshine girl to my grumpy raincloud of a Neverboy, my sweet daughter to my problematic little meow meow. 

She's the happiest hellspawn you’ll ever meet. Think Glinda the “Good” Witch--but still a witch nonetheless. Just because she tries to hide her teeth when she smiles doesn't mean they aren't there; she just fights the urge to use them. With her naturally sharp claws and sharper smile, she's spent well over a century on this island taking life from the innocent to sustain herself. It’s in her nature. She certainly hasn't been able to survive this long off of fish alone (much to her dismay)--but no more! This time, it’s going to be different. She swears it. This moon cycle will be the last time she feeds on humans! Really!! But it’s ... hard to stay determined and focused on that goal when she’s just .... so.... tired....

Some thoughts to get those ideas flowing:

1) Ever dream of owning a dress-up doll as a kid but your parents could never afford one? Meet your new Makeover Mermaid! Alana loves to accessorize (especially anything that goes with her dazzling ruby tail) and is always sporting a new look. A necklace made out of sea flowers? For sure. A crown made out of seaweed? Bet.

2) Enjoy a good story but start losing focus halfway through? That's no problem! Alana will start four stories in a span of five minutes, get distracted, and not finish any of them. :~)

3) Looking to get rid of your old junk? Bring it to Alana! She "collects" pretty much anything--like a crow but with less taste. Her cove is filled with random bits and bobbins she's found around the island. No she does NOT have a hoarding problem

4) Alana is thirsty--FOR LEGS. Specifically, having human legs of her own so she can see the world. There's so much out there that she can't access right now, being confined to the waters. She would miss her stunning tail, of course, but that's a sacrifice she is willing to make in exchange for so much more. It's been said that true love can morph one's tail to a pair of human legs, and by golly she's going to hold onto that myth until it comes true, dammit.

I know there have been Alanas in the past, and I will not step on previous iterations of the character. For those of you who had threads/plots with her previous writer, feel free to DM me. Maybe we can incorporate something similar moving forward so all your hard work isn’t lost. Ya'll know I’m always happy to chat. 

If you’d like to know more about my new daughter, Alana’s skeleton is here, her Pinterest board is here, and additional headcanons can be found here. I sincerely hope I do her justice! See you on the dash 💕

[littlebless]

Hai der, I decided to vent (?) a lil since I don't really talk much about myself here (or in any social media platform :p)

I was just thinking about how big of a ride this year has been. I've suffered from depression, anxiety and dysphoria (among other stuff) for almost as long as I can remember and I just feel like this was the first year in my life that I've felt different... truly happy 😌

💁‍♀️ It was this year that the effects of HRT started becoming more noticeable and I started feeling more comfortable in my body (my 1st HRT anniversary was in March!) 🙆‍♀️

🎓 It was this year that I became sure that I'm in the right course. I'm a 2nd year college student and am studying psychology. All of it just makes so much sense, it is reaaally interesting, more than I thought it would be after my boring first year hehehe 👩‍🎓

👨‍👧 It was this year that I met daddy irl. He has been a huge source of support, be it physically, emotionally or bloggigally hehe I love him so so much, I really couldn't ask for a better one. Also shoutout to my mommy, whom I also love a lot and is also a huge source of support for me, even though we can't be together irl👩‍👧

📸 It was this year that I started this blog, something I've dreamed of doing for a long time. As if that wasn't enough, it blew up pretty quickly, to my surprise, since I was still pretty insecure about my body. It has helped A LOT with that! I have also met plenty of wonderful people who are now my friends 🤗 even though I didn't really use any social media before (not much, at least), I don't regret any of this in the slightest, even if it can get a lil overwhelming at times 😅 thank you so much for being a part of it ❤🍼

🚀 It was this year that I started making paid content. I have to admit that it is harder than I imagined, to the point where I was feeling pressured to wear diapers more often than I felt comfortable, just so I could post a ton of pics all the time... it can be tiring to turn something you do in order to relax into something you HAVE to do and that was making wearing diapies less enjoyable :( which is why I cut down the subscription price and am now updating less often c:

On the other hand, it is only because of this that I've been able to afford diapies at all (special thanks to @james23slipknot for getting my first 3 packs after starting this blog ❤). I can only be in college because I have a full scholarship (which I'll lose if I get a job), my mum earns the minimum wage and my dad refuses to support me in any way, so I've always worried a lot about money and avoided spending it in things like diapies. It is thanks to my subscribers that I'm able to get them without feeling guilty 😌 I've been avoiding talking about this because I don't wanna be misunderstood, I'm not in a terrible situation, I have enough money to survive, I just can't spend much on things for myself. All of this to say that that is why I really can't thank my subscribers enough 🥰🥰 when I say that it is thanks to them that I'm able to make content at all, I mean it. Without them, you'd only be getting updates here once in a blue moon :p 💫

🌈 It was this year that I started feeling actually happy with my life for the first time. I was still deeply depressed during January, February and maybe March, but then all of this started happening. I have definitely grown A LOT and also feel a lot more active, productive, motivated and that I can actually have a future I'm happy with. This year has a been a wild ride and I have a feeling 2022 will be another one 😊

Thank you so much for accompanying me on this journey 🥰 I hope you'll still be here with me next year 😁💫

🎊

Happy Holidays

Merry Christmas And a Happy New Year

🎉🎅❤

[aquafaith]

My lengthy, angry ACOSF rant review.

Spoilers, TW for mental, emotional, physical, and sexual abuse.

.

.

.

I loved ACOTAR. I still love ACOTAR. I always will love ACOTAR. But every book afterwards made me give up more and more. ACOMAF romanticized an abusive relationship and assassinated characters for the author's convenience. ACOWAR was a bunch of boring and inconsequential death scares. ACOFAS was all-round dreadful. And each book kept shitting on and pushing away Lucien for no reason.

I'd like to preface this by saying I hated Nesta too. I hated the way she treated Feyre in ACOTAR especially, and I wasn't even too excited for this book because I wasn't that keen on Nesta as a character.

Nesta's POV and her backstory changed my perspective. It does not excuse her actions. All Nesta stans can hold these characters accountable for what they do - trauma is a reason, not an excuse. I, and many others, sided with Nesta because of the way she's treated by everyone else in this book. Also, if you're going to hate Nesta for not teaching Feyre how to read and letting her hunt at fourteen, (which I did, and are very valid things to hate), AT LEAST hold Elain accountable too.

This book. This fucking book.

Shall we start with the intervention? Feyre on her little power trip thinks that her boyfriend that hates Nesta and Nesta hates back, Nesta's ex-best friend, and her possible mate who she never talks to should be at this stupid fucking intervention??? Excuse me???

Remember in ACOMAF when Feyre wouldn't shut up about how rich Rhysand is? Feyre literally has four or five houses and is always talking about how much jewelry and lingerie she can afford because Rhysand is so rich??? Well, Nesta has a few shots. So you know what Feyre does? Humiliates Nesta at this "intervention", TEARS DOWN HER HOME, and forces her to go to the Illyrian training camp.

That was the god awful premise for this book.

Did you think Elain wasn't there because she was against the "intervention"? Nope! She was packing Nesta's belongings without permission.

Remember in ACOMAF when it's made a big fucking deal that locking up a traumatised woman is extremely damaging? Well, when Nesta decides she doesn't want to be in Illyria, Feyre locks her in the House of Wind. Nesta can't fly, so her only way of leaving is down the TEN THOUSAND STEPS, that Feyre KNOWS Nesta isn't capable of climbing.

Feyre's pregnant. In ACOFAS she randomly decided that she wanted a baby to remember Rhysand by if he dies. Which doesn't make any sense because they made that stupid fucking death pact in ACOWAR. It's just SJM superimposing her pregnancy onto her early 20's protagonist. Ignoring the fact that Feyre isn't ready for a baby and Rhysand CERTAINLY isn't, and with a war just ended and another looming and so much trauma and a DEATH PACT are all such horrible circumstances to bring a child into, Feyre is already pregnant. Remember when SJM made a big deal about Fae babies being so hard to conceive, and Feyre said in ACOFAS they wouldn't have to worry for a long time because it can take years to conceive your first Fae child? Well it's been no more than 3 or 4 months and Feyre's already pregnant. Yep.

Also the birth will kill her. Because of course it will. Rhysand KNEW this, and still agreed to try for a baby.

There's no solution. Abortions don't exist for some stupid reason, and a C section would apparently kill Feyre?

(Wasn't this book supposed to be about Nessian?)

In ACOWAR, Cassian was on the battlefield with his entrails around his knees. Someone had to literally hold his guts in for him, and he's fine, but you're telling me a C section would kill Feyre?

Don't worry, this is just setting up the AWFUL ending to this book.

ACOSF amounts to Nesta being gaslit into believing her abusers are right. Her friends and family slut shame her and shame her for her lifestyle constantly. Cassian says it took him decades to work through some of his trauma, and he tried to drink and fuck it away too, but suddenly when Nesta does so it's heinous? Nesta's barely twenty five and she's expected to cope better than these ancient immortals.

Hell, didn't SJM write ACOMAF? Nobody expected Feyre to pick herself up so quickly. The IC (excluding Rhysand) respected her boundaries for the most part and understood when it was grief, trauma, and turmoil that made her angry, sad, want to be left alone, etc. But that's all forgotten here.

Amren also compares Nesta to the people in, and says she belongs in, The Court of Nightmares. You know, the murderers, abusers and rapists? This innocent woman who had a few shots and a bit of sex is on par with them, apparently!

The sex scenes.

SJM is scared to say vagina so she says sex.

She says seed to mean semen.

Apparently the word cunt turns SJM on. I just found Cassian saying that kinda cringe because I'm Bri'ish so the word cunt really isn't a big deal.

Back to the baby killing Feyre, because this is definitely what we all wanted from this book as indicated by the change in covers and format and title... Rhysand decides not to tell Feyre. He tells her friends and family, and tells them not to tell her.

SJM loves sweeping Rhysand's abuse from the first book under the rug and claiming it's always about Feyre's choice... where is that here, MAAS? WHERE IS IT?

Anyway, when Nesta rightfully decides to tell Feyre (although it is kind of out of spite), Rhysand threatens to kill Nesta.

And I believed him. With the way he treats his """mAtE tHaT hE lOvEs sO mUcH""" and all the people he's mindlessly killed before, do you really think he wouldn't kill the person who gave Feyre an inch of autonomy?

So what does Cassian do? His lover who he cares deeply about and suspects is his mate has received a death threat from tHe mOsT pOwErFuL hIgH lORd iN hIsToRy.

Cassian simply gets Nesta out of the court.

EXCUSE ME?

He doesn't breathe ONE word to Rhysand about this. This Illyrian WARRIOR who fought with his GUTS HANGING OUT didn't dare step up to the hIGh lOrD who he considers his brother and sparrs and fights with all the time?

Cassian literally does nothing.

Was it not Rhysand himself who said Mated males are dangerous? Can kill anyone who looks at their mate? Can be dangerous simply leaving the house? Rhys and Feyre both pull the Mate card to justify their bad actions on the other's behalf... and Cassian just tried to get Nesta out of the court?

Also, this High King bullshit.

I swear to fucking god, if SJM DARES to make this abusive, power-tripping, mOsT pOwErFuL hIgH lOrD eVEr, husband-insert of hers hIgH kInG, I will fight her in the street.

My beloved Lucien is in this book. Only for him to be used and shat on.

I really liked it when he calmed Cassian down with just a look though. Yes please fox man.

Helion is also in this book. Nothing to do with Lucien.

Eris is also in this book. ERIS. Lucien's eldest brother. The same one who abused him for years, but according to SJM he's slightly better, because at least he didn't agree to kill Lucien's lover. He betrayed his daddy that one time, therefore Eris is good. Y'know, the same Eris who abused Mor? Left her laying on the Autumn Court border with a nail in her womb? Well SJM is going back on her own canon to redeem yet ANOTHER abusive male, while continuing to demonize Tamlin for things he only happened to do when SJM decided the villain from the first book was sexy.

Nesta and Cassian are Mates.

Remember when Mates were supposed to be a rare and sacred thing? Now SJM dishes them out like Oprah.

I don't want these characters to be mates. I want to see them slowly fall in love. But SJM is incapable of writing that so she forces them together with the mAtInG bOnD. That's literally the only basis for most of these relationships, Feysand especially.

The only relationship where the bond would make sense is between Helion and The Lady of Autumn. Who still isn't named. But I will die on the hill that they're mates, I can feel it between them.

I wanted someone to die in this book. I predicted that it would either be Helion or Tarquin, but Tarquin isn't even in this one.

And the ending.

SJM can't write a decent climax, so she kills both Feyre and Rhysand for the second time. Yep.

The baby is being born which stupidly kills Feyre, and thankfully takes Rhysand with them.

Nesta decides to save them. Bad choice. But she decides to save them! Because she's so powerful and she ATE THE CONTENTS OF THE CAULDRON and she's CONNECTED TO THE MOTHER.

Do you know what happens.

Nesta loses her powers.

NESTA.

LOSES.

HER.

POWERS.

The powers we've hardly seen, the powers that were briefly mentioned and used ONCE in ACOWAR, then we saw like two flashes of in this book? They're GONE now. GONE SO NESTA CAN SAVE HER ABUSIVE SISTER AND ABUSIVE HUSBAND WHO ABUSES THEM BOTH.

Nesta is just an Amren now. They both fought for their powers, and had to give them up to save people who didn't deserve it. Now they're anticlimactically trapped in powerless bodies.

Also, and I can't BELIEVE I didn't originally include this - do you know what else Nesta TRADED HER POWERS FOR?

Illyrian anatomy so she can carry Cassian's baby one day.

EXCUSE ME?

I am so fucking SICK TO DEATH of the narrative that every woman needs a man and children to be happy. SJM clearly loves this because she's literally only keeping Amren and Nesta alive now to be sex objects to their partners and nothing else seeing as their POWERS WERE RIPPED AWAY FROM THEM, and now NESTA TRADED THOSE POWERS TO HAVE A BABY SHE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW SHE WANTS? Nesta does NOT strike me as a motherly type. She's the wine aunt, she and Cassian are the couple that go on holiday a lot and and babysit their nieces and nephews, but nope. Nesta HAS to have children.

The Feysand baby is called Nyx. That's just so underwhelming, you go from these huge, multiple syllable names like Amarantha and Morrigan and Lucien to Nyx? I get it's supposed to be unique but it's not even meaningful. It's just more shit-flavoured icing on the hAHa nIgHt uWu cake. I prefer Renesmée.

Nesta is wrong somehow. She says she's sorry as she's saving them. FOR WHAT? For being a little rude to Feyre as all sisters are? And rightfully hating your sister's abuser?

Oh yeah, remember in ACOWAR when Nesta took care of a comatose, starving Elain for months? Elain is randomly okay now because she takes care of her mental health the stereotypical way of baking cakes, and not drinking and fucking, which she shames Netsa for.

Remember the slut shaming, demeaning comments that the whole iNnEr cIrClE made about Nesta? They all expect apologies from her. For some reason.

Nesta has done nothing wrong. She coped with her trauma and minded her business in her own ways, and she's expected to apologise to the people who control and emotionally abuse her.

Nothing that any of these characters did to Nesta is right. Nesta wasn't okay at the end, this wasn't Nesta's healing story. This is Nesta being shamed and degraded until she submits.

Oh I can't believe I forgot to write this in my first draft of this review, do you know how Nesta "overcomes" her grief about her Father's death and her conflicting feelings about him and his life and her guilt? When she visits his grave for the first time, she takes Nyx.

NYX.

She holds NYX up to the grave and talks about how it's his grandson.

GO AWAY YOU STUPID DEMON BABY THIS IS NOT YOUR BOOK.

Speaking of, it's revealed that Nesta was abused by her mother and grandmother in this book? Something we were all looking forward to is seeing more of the Archeron's mother seeing as Feyre was so young when she died, but... nope. She gets a few vague mentions, and this newly revealed abuse is entirely glossed over. Nesta was also actively groomed by an older man at 14. But SJM glosses over this because of course she does.

Finally, the bonus chapters.

My edition came with a bonus chapter from Feyre's POV. It was pointless and I hated it.

There's another bonus chapter from Azriel's POV. Once I'd finished this book, he was one of the few characters I still harboured a shred of respect for.

Then I read his bonus chapter.

This exists to purely objectify Elain.

Whether you ship Elain with Azriel, or Lucien, or neither, this chapter is disgusting. He thinks about her coming on his tounge, and other things simply just to please him.

He then dares to suggest that "the Cauldron picked wrong" in choosing Lucien as Elain's mate?

No Azriel, SJM picked RIGHT in not giving each Archeron sister a bAt bOy.

Rhysand does the only right thing he's ever done by telling Azriel to stay away from Elain, but then he has to ruin it by clarifying that it's only so they can manipulate and use Lucien more.

Oh, and Azriel wants to kill Lucien.

Need I remind you that Lucien respects Azriel? Lucien is another victim of the Night Court's needless, baseless torment, and Azriel is no exception.

Lucien stays well out of Elain's way because she makes it clear that she's not interested in a mate, but Azriel wants to kill him simply for being her mate.

Lucien has done nothing. And I mean literally NOTHING to warrant any of this treatment. From the bAt bOyS, from Feyre, from his family, from SJM, from the deluded part of this fandom that think he's done wrong. NOTHING.

All I liked about this book was the Lucien scenes (which is a given), ((although I hated the way everyone talks about him behind his back)), Nesta's relationship with the house, Emerie and Gwyn, the evidence that Gwynriel is endgame and subsequently Elucien, and the book love. Everything else was horrible. Oh, and Nesta hates Rhysand. I love that for her, because everyone else bows at his feet.

Oh yeah, when Nesta DARES suggest that Rhysand is an "arrogant, preening asshole" which I think is a compliment, Cassian can't take Rhys' cock out of his mouth for one second, and has to get mad at her for having an opinion. Don't even get me started on Azriel in that scene.

If each book after ACOTAR made me slowly give up, this book made me give up altogether. I cannot go on to support this victim-blaming, abuse-forgiving, misogynistic series. I've given up on SJM, and the only characters I care about anyone are Lucien, Nesta, Helion, and Tarquin. I'll continue to read this series to see if SJM redeems herself, but I'll be downloading them for free. I'm not giving this piece of shit any more of my money.

I hope we don't get the Lucien book. I don't want her to slaughter my fox in the way she slaughtered LITERALLY EVERYONE ELSE.

Thanks for listening.

Edit: I put the review on Goodreads!

[howdoesagrapewrites]

All yours, Babooshka.

Tags: Yelena x fem!reader, soulmate!au, fluff with a bit of angts, historically completely incorrect, happy ending.

TW: depiction of war, brief mention of sex, homophobic slur a few times, suicide.

Synopsis: War is no place for loving, it never was, but maybe you could love her again in the 21 Century, i mean, only if you could stop feeling so overwhelmed by her only existence, but no matter what, you can't stop something that's meant to be.

Notes: one, i don't like the part 4, it just feels lazy to me, and two, i'm not a native, so please tell me if i made a mistake <3

Part one: When she was beautiful.

Yelena Armanovna, as strong as ten soldiers, the jewel of the battlefield, once was just a kid, her land was destroyed by the war, and as the only child of the house, she was forced to join the army, or else die there, she became a soldier, and she desired that the war wasn't real, that she hadn't being born into this world, that no one had. 

Everyone knew that she didn't talk a lot, most of their fellow soldiers didn't even knew where she came from, or if she was even from Russia, the only one she talked to was a nurse, her name was y/n y/ln, and like Yelena, no one knew about her origin, the nurse was way more talkative than Yelena, but she was assigned to other areas, staying with older soldiers, child soldiers, or severely injured soldiers, she was called by the child soldiers "angel", because of her comforting aura in hard times like those. 

These women wouldn't be able to meet eachother if it wasn't for the near-death experience Yelena faced one time. She got shot by a hidden enemy, fainted from the blood loss and was taken to the nursery right away, they couldn't afford to lose her. That's when you saw the look in her eyes, that look, and you knew that death was upon the jewel of the battlefield, and you knew that if she died, everyone else will die, you tried as hard as you could to stay cool during the surgery, but you were breaking, because of all the hope that was layed on her shoulders, she was the hope of everyone else in that place to return home someday, even if Russia didn't won the war, her strenght will keep a few alive. So there you were, assisting the surgery of the one that could do something to keep everybody safe and triying to act like it didn't meant a thing. At the end, she survived, and with her, the dreams of returning to your home, you were the one assigned to take care of her, and you were  going to make sure Yelena survived.

Part two: Uncanny how she remind her of her little lady. 

—"¿Yelena Armanovna?" You asked to the blonde girl laying on the bed. 

"Yes" she answered without taking her deep eyes out of the book. 

You told her that it was your bed she was in, pointing at your last name on the post-it next to the bed, then showing her the same mark on the bed across the room where it said: "J. Armanovna". 

"Ah, i hate when they misspeal it, it's Yelena with a "Y". Well, sorry, but this is the only bed i can sleep in, i'm kinda tall, you can use mine, i will give you a cookie for your kindness." She concluded with a little smile, you notices how her voice was way sweeter than you could think considering how menacing her looks were. 

At the end you decided to let her keep the bed, thinking it wouldn't mean anything, how wrong you were, now you could look at her sleeping without moving from the bed, and you did it, you thought it was so creepy and you wanted to stop, but you couldn't, why? Why were you obsessed with the sight of her closed eyes and dry lips at night? Why did she gave you this insane feeling of comfort and loss at the same time? It was so uncanny. 

No matter how weird It felt, you couldn't escape from Yelena, she was your roommate, and your classmate in some of your classes, on top of that, she was quite nice, a very smart lady with a pleasent personality, so you had no excuse to be mean or distant whenever she asked about your day, or started a small talk when the professor was late. Along with that sort-of friendship, you also knew Yelena's group; a beautiful girl with raven hair named Pieck, a blonde sarcastic man named Zeke, sometimes his brother Eren, and Hanji, a very excentric and funny person. These people were good friends to you, more than you expected, and that confirmed you: there was nothing wrong about Yelena, and you had no reason to be disturbed by her… Well, to be honest, there it was a little thing that made you upset, Pieck said that Yelena liked Zeke, again, you had no reason to be mad, but you were anyway. Why did you felt so attached to this lady? Why did you did what you did? 

It was 2:00 am, you couldn't sleep and you were so ashamed of being doing what that thing, what thing? Writing a love letter, a love letter to Yelena, with a pseudonym, with the first word that popped into your head: "Babooshka". You put perfume on the paper, and you signed it under that name, a scented letter, when you were finished, you let the envelope under your bed, and let it on Yelena's locker. 

Part three: How she was before the tears.

She woke up, feeling dazed and almost disappointed for being alive, when Yelena saw you, she recognized you for the stories of her colleagues, "Angel?" She guessed. 

"Hello", you smiled and giggle a bit for that nickname, "My name is y/n y/ln, and i will take care of you until you are better"

"If i'm with you means i'm already dead, you only take care of the ones that are almost there." Yelena asserted with a careless attitude. 

You wanted to protest, but it was meaningless, you wouldn't make her upset in her state, "May i ask how is your wound feeling? Are you in pain?" You kept that polite and sweet smile on your face. 

You kept taking care of Yelena, she healed way too soon, her body wanted to stay alive, but you couldn't say the same thing about her. You got to meet the real jewel of the battlefield, she told you her story, and you told her yours, you two knew everything about eachother, likes, dislikes, and sad pasts. You noticed how Yelena cried softly whenever she thought about her life before, her life before the tears, before the war, when she felt happy. And you also noticed that you could erase that tears, the touch between your soft hands and her ser face, was something magical, something that nobody could understand in that moment, but you two? You knew everything about it, about that love touch, those secret beautiful instants you shared. 

You were the one crying when Yelena got better, you were joyful for her recovery, but you knew that she had to go, and after that, you were going to lose her forever, or so you thought. "We can send eachother letters, and we can meet at night." She reassured you while you were laying on her chest, skin to skin, she kissed your forehead and caressed your cheeks with her strong and graceful hands, you purred at her cuddled your body in hers, you liked to kiss her scars, she had so many, it showed how determined she was on the battle and you liked that, the eyes and body of a soldier, and the heart of a suave lover, Yelena was always elegant, her movements could been rough and beastily, but she was soft and neat, whether i'll be fighting, talking, or embracing you. You could say with pride that only you knew this side of Yelena Armanovna, the subtle dominance she always established on her manner mixed with the chivalry and dulcet, that made the blonde woman truly enticing and amusing to anyone with enough luck to discover it.  

You knew that your letters to Yelena couldn't be too suspicious, so you took advantage of the fact that no one knew a thing about her, "Babooshka", was the pseudonym you choose, because everyone was going to think that it was from Yelena's grandmother. 

Your first letter to her, was this one: 

"My dearest Yelena, even though i promised that i wouldn't miss you too much, you have been away for three days and i'm already feeling the lack of your touch, and missing your dark eyes that make me shiver every time. I always thought that i would die without having loved, but you prove me wrong, i love you, i love every part of you, if i could picture perfection, it would be you, your laugh, your hair, the way you talk about home, everything about you would fit the word "perfect".

I swear to God and every star on the sky, that someday i will marry you, someday i will call you my wife, and you will be fully mine, and i will be fully yours. I know that you may think i'm silly because of this wish, but i know in my guts that i will become your wife, no matter how many years or Centuries i have to wait to do it.

All yours, Babooshka." 

When Yelena read the letter, she felt nothing but joy, she couldn't use words to describe how in love she was with everyone of your words, and giggled at the idea of marriage, of course she would marry you, she would marry you all the times that she could, she will make you hers every time, and she would submit herself to you every time. 

The two lovers kept sending and receiving love letters, and meeting at the comfort and hacen of the night, with only starts and the moon herself as a witness, sharing the intimacy of loving, not always touching two bodies, but the touch of two souls, two tormented souls who found love in a hopeless place.

It has been almost a year since the letters and secret meetings started to happen, Yelena and y/n couldn't be more in love, but tragedy was upon them. A soldier named Floch, started to notice the letters, and one day, he intercepted one, the love words were obviously not from Yelena's grandmother, and with fear of the jewel of the battlefield getting courted by a man who could get her pregnant and useless, this soldier tried to trace the letters, he spend days getting up triying to catch the mailman, and when he did it, he noticed that there wasn't an adress, so it must have been another soldier. After waiting for the guilty one to put the letter on the mail box, he saw y/n y/ln, the nurse, the angel, being a witness of how Satán corrupted the two women into a sapphic relationship, he ran into his superior's arms, showing him the evidence and warning him that given the nature of the letters, he may be grossed out by the devil's pervertion in the two women. 

The superior gave orders of keeping Armanovna here, and taking the nurse away, into a convertion field. 

Yelena was lucky to hear it, and she ran the fastest that she could into the critical patients nursery, where Y/N was. "Babooshka", she whispered at your ear while grabbing your arm yo take you away, you followed her into the woods. "What happened?" You asked with confution, you saw the look of pure fear un Yelena's eyes.

"They are going to tear us apart, they are are going to take you away, they will torture you there", she was ay the edge of crying, and so did you. 

"What can we do?" You couldn't think anything, you were all feelings

"Die, that's our only option, if we run away they will find anyway." The tall one tried to stay calm, failing

"You can't die, you mean hope for everyone!" Your conscience was heavy, you couldn't let Yelena die for you

"Y/n… You are the love of my life, if they take you away, i will kill myself anyway, i can't live without you, i can't just survive anymore, i need to live, when i'm with you i'm alive." Yelena wrapped you in a hug and you felt the tears falling on her face.

At the end, you agreed, Yelena already had a little bottle hidden in her uniform, you both took  sips until the bottle was empty, and you kissed and felt eachother like never before, because it was the last time, those were your last hours of life. You passed away after two hours, you were sleeping in Yelena's arms, while she was singing a lullaby from her hometown. 

She started with a cracked voice; "I know i do not have silver or gold like many others,

but i promise that i will wrap my bride in silk"  she stopped to cry a little.

"and i will love her with such depht,

that all my lacks she will forget, 

and she will love until the end… "

Yelena cried louder, and before falling asleep, and looked at your corpse with adoration.

I'm all yours, Babooshka. 

Part four: Babooshka

She woke up, ready for the exams, dressed with her usual suit, and put a lucky charm on her pocket. 

She was getting to class when she remembered, "my lucky pen is in my locker", so she went to get it, and saw a letter that fell sloppylly on her perfectly organized locker. She looked at the envelope and read "Babooshka", It clearly wasn't from her grandmother, one, because she would have written in "the tongue of mother Russia", two, because she was a bitter old woman that didn't write her, never, not even on her birthday, and three, because it was on her locker, not the mailbox. She opened it go find a love letter that has essence of a known perfume, she received the letter with a strange delight, smelling it and making a place on her locker for the piece of paper. 

These letters came one by one every week, and she knew they were from y/n, but Yelena couldn't help to love the letters, and she wanted to keep collecting more and more. 

She decided to shoot her shot after two months, when you two were studying together, she kissed your lips out of nowhere, leaving you completely confused and flustered.

"I- i thought you liked Zeke…" 

"Oh, i did" Yelena acted so shamelessly "But then you came."

"Do you say that a lot?" You asked annoying trying to shield from your notorious blush

"No, just you, Babooshka. I don't know why, but you make me fee… alive? I feel so close to you since i saw you." 

You didn't know what to do, you felt the same way, and you were way too nervous to think a witty reprise. 

"Why did you choose the pseudonym Babooshka?" Yelena have been wanting to ask you for a long time. 

"For real? I don't know, it just, familiar? I guess" 

"Ok, then" she smiled and pulled you closer

"I'm all yours, Babooshka."

[minyoongees]

FANTASY || JHS

✧ pairing: boyfriend!hoseok x reader

✧ genre: crack, smut 

✧ word count: 1.4k

✧ summary: When Hoseok hears the shower running, he can’t help but let his fantasies run wild.

✧ snip: “Who is the intruder in the bathroom he just had potential sex with

✧ warnings: mentions of oc’s body parts in sexual ways, mention of hobi’s body parts in sexual ways, doggy style, begging, hair pulling, mild edging, mentions of an intruder, oc being waaayyy too close to her sister (yes this counts as a warning, y’all single child won’t get it), embarrassing situations

I’d be glad to know what you think of this! 

The sound of keys jiggling fills up the empty hallways, practiced hands opening the lock within seconds. It opens with a creak and he cringes. For any sound from him could alert you of his presence and it could shatter his plans of scaring you.

He tip toes inside, softly sliding the keys into his dress pants' pocket. He strides forward slowly to your room, hoping to find you sitting on the vanity so he can scare you enough for you to mess up your eyeliner (he's pure evil and he knows that).

But an empty room and the sound of the shower running bums him out.

“Y/n baby we're gonna be late this way!” He calls out in the general direction of the shower door.

He lifts his arm to look at the watch on his wrist, “It's 7 already! We'll miss our reservation, just try to be quick yeah? I'm waiting outside in your room.”

So much for scaring you, he's got the scare now. They'd cancel the reservation he worked so hard on to book. It's not really a special day, but it really is. It's the same day 2 years ago you and him had sex for the first time after 3 months of dating. Now it wouldn't be something that special, you see (at least not special enough to work a month overtime to afford that expensive restaurant). But you had such explosive sex that day, you couldn't let this opportunity go now.

That day he made you cum 4 times, discovered your love for his tongue and discovered how you it makes you go dizzy when he chokes you a little. He loves to see your ass jiggle when he hits it from behind,

“Hobi, please-”

“What is it baby, what do you want”

You didn't even know what you were begging for, your head was empty except for Hoseok's dick and the way he was making you feel.

“What do you want?” he growled again with a particular sharp thrust of his hips and even any slight thought you might have had, flew out the window. The pleasure made your muscles relax to the point it was hard to speak. So he took the hint for himself.

He grabbed your hair, pulled your back to his chest and began grinding in you. The sudden change in positions had his dick grazing your insides from an angle that gave you the leverage to come back to reality. You moaned and whined so loud at the sensation. The knot in your stomach was loosening up, you were losing your orgasm but you were still so on the edge of it. You whined again, tryna back up into him and he, just chuckled. He chuckled. At your misery. That's right.

But before you could do something about it, Hoseok started thrusting again at a fast set pace.

“Good girls don't whine y/n and you know it, they take what's given to them” He growled.

He snakes his arm around your waist, fingers to your clit and other hand lingering on your neck. He bends you forward and hits right at the spot which makes you go limp in his arms. Any smart reply on your tongue is swallowed back down. Your orgasm creeping back up on you, leaving goosebumps in its wake.

“This is hands down the best sex I've had”

That's what you said to him in the heat of the moment and he hasn't forgotten it ever since. Even in the later hours it kept him wondering what exactly was it that he did to make you feel this way. Though he couldn't pin it exactly, but whatever was it he did, it only got better. Maybe it was the day you got to know one another' s body more, or got more comfortable with each other, but it really did change the way you look at each other now.

He can still hear the shower running. But he's got something else on his mind now.

He lifts himself off your bed and walks to your bathroom door and leans on one shoulder there.

“Hey sweetie!” He calls out, and waits for you to answer.

The shower stops running and he's met with complete silence. He knows you're listening.

“Remember the time you said I was the best sex you've ever had?” Yes, he knows he's twisting your words around, but he cannot bring himself to care enough.

“That was when I tried chocking you for the first time, you were so submissive for me, eyes all droopy. You couldn't even talk all your smart comebacks died down in your throat. Oh I remember the way your ass jiggled and the way you moaned so much, like, it's the most motherfucking beautiful sound I've heard in my life,” getting father away into his memories he didn't even realize when he started to palm himself in his pants.

“Oh I can't wait to see you tonight in that red satin dress of yours. You always look like such a sin, always so submissive for me, making me feel proud that they all know who you belong to.” he violently palms himself, his own hammy fantasies taking him too far. He couldn't think straight. Not right now when all his blood from his brain had rushed to his dick.

“I can't wait to come home and taste your lips like champagne, can't wait to pepper kisses all over your chest and thighs, eat you like the three course meal you are and kiss your fingertips—”

He seemed so adamant on fucking you that the time constraint seemed nothing like a problem to him anymore. But before he could execute it-

The keys jiggle again and he hears the familiar creak of your door opening. Wait- Who else had your keys?

He runs outside the bedroom to find you setting the groceries down on the table.

If you're here then who's in the bathroom taking a shower he just had potential sex with??

Automatically, he assumes the worst when all the blood rushes back to his brain.

“Oh hey Hoseok, when did you get here?” You chime.

“y/n!”

You turn to him startled and he grips your shoulders tight.

“y/n listen to me, now don't panic and listen,” he said, a little too exasperated for him not to be panicking himself “there is an intruder in your house and he's in the shower, I have no idea who he is but you lock the door and I'll call 911, it's okay we don't have to panic—”

“Wait what? The intruder is showering?” you question, like it's the stupidest thing ever, because it is!

“What are you talking about?” you laugh and say.

You took in his form, his formal shirt and those dress pants, silver hoops dangling from his ears, his blonde hair styled back. A small smile arose your lips at the sight of him.

“You forgot didn't you?” you take his hands off your hands and hold them in your hands, “Baby remember how I postponed our date to tomorrow 2 weeks ago because Jisoo was coming over?”

He turns his head back to look at her head peeking out of the door, hair dripping wet, tryna hold in a laugh.

You both look at each and start laughing. Hoseok drags himself to the couch, embarrassed, "Yeah yeah laugh all you want”

He hides his face in his palms and calls out "Noona you should've said something!” his voice muffled.

“Oh it was too funny to stop you, with all the ass jiggling and the three course meal” She laughs again.

“Wait, what?” You question “What happened here?”

Great that's what he needed now.

“Oh nothing sweetie, come here” he pulls you to him with your wrists,”I might've said something about how I wanted to fuck you tonight because I thought it was you in the shower.” He says in a small voice into your skin. Even saying it out loud now makes his skin crawl.

He can hear Jisoo laughing again with you as you place yourself next to him on the couch. You take his hand from between his palms and press a soft kiss on his cheek

You take the moment to put your lips next to his ear and whisper,"Don't worry, it'd be better than your fantasy”

[guigz1-coldwar]

'Sticking together' : New chapter for "Redemption in a Spirit in a Cold War" is out !

'Sticking together'

Chapter Summary : Bell is getting ready to put her life in line to save Park from Perseus.....

To read it on AO3, click here !

Words : +4800

--------------------------

'You're fucking serious ?'......That was the thing I could see AND heard from Mason, Woods & Adler at the same time. They couldn't believe one single second that I will be proposing this idea at all and that I would volunteer myself to be the main element of that plan. Who would be so damn crazy to let themselves captured ? Well....I was the only one that could answer that question and I was that person who was crazy to do it. Here, it was the life of Park that was at stake and if I had to put mine in line to save her from Perseus.....so be it !

They all argued with me, saying that it was too dangerous for me to put myself in danger and because of my previous links with Perseus himself but I didn't care about the last thing. If we were going to kill those who has taken Park, who will know that I was here ? Minutes after minutes, they realized that it was in fact the only plan that we could have without risking to lose Park during our fight to get her back as the possibility that Perseus kill her before we attack the place......no, that wasn't going to happen !

Finally, we finally agreed together that my plan will be used to save Park :  I will be 'taken prisoner' by Duriot himself as he will use the car I have stolen to transport me to the meeting point at the Tempelhof Airport. Then, I will maybe be brought with Park herself and I could free myself and then her, allowing us to attack Perseus's mens from two sides : from the outside for Mason, Woods, Sims & Adler and from the inside with me & Park after I freed her. That is the plan we're having right now....the only possible plan.....

After that, Mason & Woods started to prepare the equipment they will use for their attack, Sims were keeping an eye on Duriot for the moment as Adler explained him the situation and his usefulness for our plan, warning him that no cooperation from him will led him to his quick death and somehow, Duriot agreed to help us even if we all have some doubts about him but now, he's the only person that we have for our plan. After that, Adler make some calls to call for backup from the CIA and informing them of the plan.

Me.....I just needed to prepare myself for my acting again a second time in a day and staying in the main room, watching the others doing their part wasn't going to help me at all and I decided to go to the bathroom, trying to appease myself. I arrived in it and the first thing I did was to put my hands around the sink, looking at it and then at the mirror, seeing my face filled with dressings all around it.......why I am such a walking mess ?......Why I can't be fucking normal ?....Why all this shit for someone like me ?.....

While I was looking at me in the mirror, I could still hear them.....her screams....her pleadings for my name. I'm trying to save her because I wasn't fast.....I'm trying to save her because I love her and I believe in her, she didn't deserve what happened to her : learning that she was tortured for months....that has literally broke a part of me. I think that everything she has been trying to fight has come back in one day. I have to save her, save myself.....save us !

"Kid." I hear this and I looked through the mirror to reveal Adler standing, leaned against the door frame of the bathroom that I left open.

"Stop calling me kid !" I whispered, not moving my head at all to see him in person, still facing the mirror "I'm not your friend....and I'm 31, now." I was still holding the sink with my hands, not trying to break it.

"I wanted to talk to you in private." He said, having his arms crossed, his glare focused on my face.

"Hmm...." I muttered silently, wondering what he want to say.

"I wanted to say that I'm sorry !" He exclaimed, getting my attention as I move to face him in person, looking away from the mirror.

"You.....you're sorry ?" I started, confused at hearing Russell Adler in person that he's sorry to me after what he did to me, he nodded at my question. "Sorry.....sorry for what ?"

"For everything." He added but I couldn't believe it from him.

"Everything ?" I repeated his words. "Sorry to have fuck with my mind ? Sorry to have me act like I was your fucking puppet ? Sorry to have put me in a coma for 3 years ? Sorry to treat me like shit ?" Each question to him was raising my voice louder and louder as his face decomposed itself before I stopped myself.

"Yes..." He replied in a low voice, looking down at his feets.

"No." I told him, I couldn't accept his apologies from him, what he did can't be undone, I'm now living with his memories and his actions can't be forgiven "I'm not accepting your bloody apologies."

"Hey, you can do...."

"Better ?" I cut him straight, having guessed his last word in advance. "This is what I'm doing, I'm trying to do better by trying to remove you from my head but I can't forgive what you did." I looked away for a second, just wanting to be alone but he was staying there, looking at me.

"And you forgive Park, like that ?" He added, sniffing at me "She was maybe against brainwashing you but she manipulated you into loving her."

"Oh, yeah ?" I started as I was clenching my fists "I know that she's hating herself for having helping you and I understand why. She apologized to me....3 years ago after I left that room and those revelations you did."  I pointed him with my left index finger, showing my angriness at him"For 3 years, she believed me to be dead because you lied to everyone, she has been through hell for months because you and the CIA refused to save her in North Korea and now, I'm putting my life in line to save her because I know that no one will move its fingers to do it."

"Maybe you're right but...." He started

"Of course, I'm right !" I cut him again for the second time, frustated to see him still in denial with me.

"You know, you don"t have to do this." He exclaimed clearly

"If I don't do this, who will ?" I asked, biting my lips and looking at him with wide eyes, he was looking away in shame and I realized that I was right : I'm the only one who can do this. "I'm pretty sure that you were happy to see her in that North Korean prison."

"No, do you think that I'm a monster to think one second of that ?" He asked me and I raised an eyebrow to him, he's already a monster and I saw it well. "I cared about her !" He added, sure of himself.

"You don't try to strangle the people you cared about." I said, referring to the day when I faced him for the first time....when I saw him put his hand on her throat. "You never cared a single minute for her." I then looked back at the mirror, my hands back on the sink "You just saw her like nothing....like me, you just saw us as stupid lesbians." I added, taking back his own words he used to describe me & Park back on that stretch. "I love her, I'll help her....I'll save her !" I affirmed before I started to remove the dressings that was on my face, realizing that Perseus need to believe that Duriot was the one who captured me.

"Mason healed you !" Adler told me as I was removing one by one, my dressings.

"I need to act like if Duriot was the one to win the fight, do you think he would like to heal a enemy ?" I affirmed, finally turning back around after I was finished with my face. "I need to fool them enough."  I added before I could see Woods arriving behind Adler, equipped with some military gear and his famous headband.

"We intercepted communications from the Tempelhof Airport : Perseus men are there ! Apparently, they are waiting for Duriot to come." Woods first said, finally breaking that moment between me & Adler. He looked at me, seeing my face without the dressings. "Do you think you're ready ?" I nodded,

"Well, let's go save one of us." Adler ordered as he leave the room, passing next to Woods before I followed him.

There were no step back for me and I don't think I can't afford to think about this option. I'm the only one in here that can succesfully fool Perseus men from the inside and save Park from them. It's a big risk that I'm taking but it's a good one to take. We left the bathroom to join the main room where Mason was finished to have prepared himself to the mission as Sims was still watching Duriot with a close eye. He was freed from the interrogation room and he knows well that he can't try a thing to escape as he will die the second he will do that.

Adler explained the plan for the last time from his side since I will have to improvise for a part as I don't exactly how it will play for me. They will have to wait for the good moment before they could act freely without having me or Park harmed at all. To reinforce the credibility of our actions, it was decided that I will have to have my hands tied up with a rope and my head covered in a bag, I can thanks Woods to have think of this idea that wasn't bad at all.

Once it was done, it was time for Duriot to play his own role, been watched by the others as he was given a empty gun to not trying anything on me or to lead us to a wrong place and that....he didn't know. Now, I had my hands tied up and my head in a bag as I was lead by Duriot himself to the car I used to bring him here. The bag on the head allowed me to see a little throught it and I could see the others watching him closely as he decided to directly put me inside the car trunk before he closed it, making my vision go all dark.....awaiting until we were arrived in destination.

Working on the floppy disk concerning Operation Chaos leaded by an rogue CIA agent named Robert Aldrich was like an pain in the ass because there weren't any big things that could have helped me but by the odds, I was able to decrypt it thanks to piece of paper containing a secret code as well with the title of a newspaper who were hiding also a cod.

I was finally finished with it and I decided to stand up from my desk to get a coffee after working non-stop on it for hours. The safehouse was pretty silent for the moment as I was the only one present in it. I was arriving next to the coffee machine, starting it.

"Hey !" A familiar voice said behind me, causing me to jump scare in place as I thought to be alone. I turned around to realize that it was Park herself.

"Damnit....almost gave me a heart attack !" I exclaimed, scared and angry at the same time. "I thought I was alone."

"I'm sorry, Jess." She apologized, putting her left hand on me before she looked away in the Dark Room direction. "Are you free ?"

"For ?" I asked, raising an eyebrow and catching my breath as I was scared as hell by her.

"I need help with some pictures you have made back in Ukraine." She explained, causing me to put my cup of coffee back in the coffee machine.

"Need extras hands, I see...." I smiled at her, saying it in a kinky voice

"Do that means yes ?" She asked, narrowing her eyes at me, I nodded and then I followed her.

I wasn't so sure of why she would have needed help on the pictures I have made in Ukraine since I thought that it was done days ago but anyways, I complied to follow her slowly until we were arrived in the room. I was the first to arrive in it and the first thing I did was to look at the table where the pictures were usually put on but there were nothing on it. I turned around to look at Park who in a second, has closed the door and directly pulled me in for a kiss.

I was also surprised from her to doing that but I should have expected it before as it was very suspicious from her to ask me help on something that I knew was done after we came back from Ukraine. I decided to reinforce the kiss who lasted a few moments before I was pulled against the empty table by her.

"Well, well, well." I started after we broke the kiss to catch some air for us "That was fast."

"I've been dreaming of touching your lips all day." She affirmed in a lovely voice.

"It's been only one day that we're together and you're acting like if we have been together for years." I said, my arms posed on her shoulders, looking at her with a big smile. "I would like for us to happen for a lot of years."

"I know you will say that." She told, rolling her eyes to look around but for me I wasn't joking, I was meaning it.

"I mean it, Park." I exclaimed, repeating my thoughts to her. "Just me....you....somewhere nice and quiet....maybe in the british countryside." I could see in here that she was looking happy to hear that even if I could feel that there were something strange...until I saw some tears coming from her eyes.

"You....you remember when I talked to Lazar and you about my scar ?" She started, sounding moved as I nodded to her question. "Well, even with that, I'm still feeling ashamed of it....feeling insecure..."

"Hey, it's okay." I whispered, gently cutting before I start to pass my left hand to clean her tears while I passed the other hand through her messy hair. "Your scar like I said the first time, it's highlighting your beauty." I grinned to show her I wasn't lying

"You really want to dream of this with me ?" She asked, looking insecure....not sure of her own words.

"Park, I will do everything for you !" I affirmed, giving my thoughts to her.....what I really think about her. "You're in danger, I will make sure the people who hurt you regret their actions." I added, putting my arms back on her shoulders. "You're my world now."

"I never thought of that from you." She began to smile a little, having heard me.

"I see Laz' like the brother I never had and you....as the woman I always wanted to be with, you are...." I wanted to finish to give my thoughts until she put her index finger in front of my lips.

"Shhhh....you talk too much." She smirked, finally feeling secure and happy with me before she removed her finger from my mouth as she leaned, nearly touching my lips with hers, our foreheads against each other,

"You're also my world but....let's enjoy our moment !"

I was moved to see that memory back, giving me the reasons I'm doing all of this to have her back at my side to fight against Perseus. I'm doing this for her....for me. I tried to not cry because I just relived that special memory but also I need to stay focused on my acting as I'm literally in a car trunk, driven by an Perseus agent and leading me either to the meeting point or to an ambush but the first option was chosen by him as I wasn't freed up. After I woke up one minute of that memory, the car finally stopped, meaning that we were arrived.

The trunk opened, allowing me to see Duriot through the bag, looking stressed but also trying to not screw this up, knowing that he was maybe in a sniper rifle scope sight. He finally took me out of the trunk, freeing me from that car as I could see the night.....he decided to drag me during all the way, to get to what I think to be the meeting point...and a group of Perseus soldiers.

"Duriot !" A man shouted as we were getting close. "You wanker, do you realize that we almost got caught by the US Army ?" I started to recognize slowly that voice....Stone....Harry Stone himself....here.....masked.

"Sorry to not have myself get caught by the police." Duriot countered him as we were finally arrived....he dropped me at Stone's feets I could see through my bag. "Got a problem to deal with." He then redressed me on my knees.

"I think I told everyone that only the british was the one to take." Stone proclaimed, crossing his arms. "The passenger....you could have killed her."

"Yeah but she can be useful for us." Duriot said, having one of his hands, touching me, wanting to control me in case. "I managed to beat her and to capture before the cop arrived."

"And she managed to break two of your fingers ?" Stone must have seen the broken fingers I did to Duriot throught the gloves he was wearing. "You're an amateur or something, frenchie ?"

"Don't call me an amateur, sale batard !" I could see the two facing each other, almost getting into hands as Duriot was clenching his fists.

"That's not what 'Wraith' is thinking of you !" Stone told him, spreading his arms, meaning he was ready to fight with Duriot in case. I was wondering who could 'Wraith' until.....

"What the hell is going here ?" A woman said, going out of the plane, breaking me out of my....that voice....Fre....Freya....no.....what is she doing here ?.....She was masked but I could see her eyes....her hair changed by a lot.....

"Ah.....'Wraith' " Stone replied as Freya was approaching us...she was this 'Wraith'.... "Frenchie brought to us the passenger that was with Park." He added, moving himself, allowing her to face me.

"Duriot, the passenger was meant to stay in that car." She exclaimed, clearly like an order. "You took a risk to take them here."

"Maybe but....she was tough and it was better for me to take them as well." Duriot defended himself before Stone approached him.

"Show us their face !" He ordered, causing Duriot to put his hand on the bag. I was fearing that moment, seeing Freya and Stone in the eyes as they both know me. I was going to break down but I realized that I need....to be 'Bell'....I don't know them.... He finally removed the bag, allowing Freya and Stone to see my face.....I could see their eyes going wide and petrified at my sight as me.....I was keeping a straight face....painfully....

"Duriot...." Freya said, slowly "She was the passenger ?" Duriot nodded "It's you who did this ?" She showed him the multiple wounds that was on my face.

"Yeah, cette salope, she was mainly....." He started, enthusiastic.....until he was completely cut off by Freya herself....a bullet right in the head, killing him with her pistol before she looked at a soldier next to me.

"You !" She pointed him, sounding very angry. "Get her in the plane with the british, I need to talk with Stone." The soldier executed himself and moved to grab me.

I was shocked.....in all the possible situations, I just saw Freya for the first time in person.....in real since years and I don't know how it was possible at all to meet her here as I'm trying to save Park. My look was on her as the soldier was dragging me inside the plane until she was completely out of my sight. I could hear her saying to Stone to quickly flee the area and to not talk about this at all, having realized that it was me....the mysterious passenger.

The soldier finally opened a door, leading to a secluded part of the cargo hold of the plane where I could see Park after long hours for me, tied up to the wall, a headband covering her eyes....her face showing signs of fears at hearing the soldier arriving with me. She was wounded too at her face and her clothes were badly in shape, one of her coat sleeves was almost away from her jacket and there were some holes in her jeans....they tortured her for some times before bringing her here.

After installing me on the ground in front of Park, the soldier left the room, leaving me alone with Park. Thanks to Mason who was the one who tied up my hands, he didn't make them so hardly, allowing me in any occasions to remove the ropes around them and to put them back like nothing happened. Once I was freed from the rope, keeping it around my hands in case, I decided to move to get to Park, to release her.

"Don't touch me !" She started, sounding panicked and trying to move, blocked by her links as I touched her shoulder.

"Park, it's me !" I exclaimed, wanting to reassure but she was still panicking.

"Please, don't touch me.....please...." I could hear her starting to cry behind her headband, covering her eyes....she....she must have relived her nightmares....."Please...." She continued, making me moved...in pain to see her like that....

"It's me...." I whispered before I decided to remove the headband, allowing me to see her eyes again....filled of tears....moved....in pain...."It's me...." I repeated again.

"Yi-....Yirina ?" She said, slowly realizing that it was me....only me "Yirina !" She ontinued, grinning a little and taking back her breath after the scare she had.

"I'm here, I came for you." I affirmed, putting my hand on her face

"You....you came....for....for me !" She was getting relieved, smiling more.

"I'm gonna get you out of here, Park." I told her as I started to remove her links, blocking her hands to the wall but there were more hard than me but then, I started to hear some footsteps coming towards the room, making me panick. "Okay..." I started, moving back to sit. "Act like if I was still named 'Bell'." I ordered her and she nodded as she has maybe realized who was there, the door opened, to reveal Freya.....unmasked.

"Well, you managed to remove your headband." Freya said, having seen Park without her headband around her eyes but instead of focusing more on her, she moved to get next to me. "Yiri..."  She whispered as I was still keeping a straight face towards her.

"Don't touch 'Bell' !" Park spoke, acting like I said even if I could see that she was having troubles to say that name again.

"I'm not talking to you !" Freya pointed her, angry before she focused back on me, this time, getting in front of me. "It's been....3 years."

"3 years ?" I fainted an incomprehesion to her, playing 'Bell' "3 years of what ?"

"I thought that you were dead, Yirina." She replied, sadness in her voice.

"Who the fuck is Yirina ?" I asked, raising an eyebrow as inside of me, I was pleading myself to stop acting.

"It's you !" She put her hand on my left shoulder but I slowly moved to get it away.

"Bullshit, I'm 'Bell'....Jessica Blackwell !" I smirked at her, using my old identity....the fake one....stop it, Yiri !....."I don't know you." She then put her hands on my face, holding it gently.....before she leaned herself to kiss me on the lips, taking me by surprise and making my eyes wide open.

I.....I was more shocked than before....Freya & me, it was more than just 'sisters' link but.....we were together, romantically involved.....in love. I never ever thought of that possibility but now, it was true : I was with her before all of that. I was more surprised than Park herself who were also shocked to see that happening in front of her. I wasn't taken aback but I acted like if I was.

"3 years I missed you, that I missed those lips...." Freya breathed, smiling from it but then, her face goes in horror when she saw me.

"I...I don't know you !" I said again, my voice on the verge of cracking down. She was....starting to cry, tears falling down her eyes.

"What...what did they do to you, Yiri ?" She asked before we started to hear some loud noises outside the plane, like multiple gunshots, causing everyone to look at the door as someone opened it at the same time.

"Duriot was followed, the CIA is here along with the US Army !" A soldier shouted to her and at this moment, I decided to act to liberate me & Park....even if I had to hit Freya, something that I never wanted to do as Yirina.

I took the advantage that she was looking away to free myself from the rope wrapped around my hands and then, I punched Freya in the face and in the same time, grabbing the gun she had strapped on her bulletproof vest before I pushed her away with my feets, the other soldier tried to react with his own gun but I quickly reacted by shooting him three times dead before he fall inside the room. Once I dealt with him, I moved rapidly to free Park from her links as Freya was knocked out on the ground.

"I'm sorry, she took me by surprise." I exclaimed with an smile to Park, still acting as I feared that Freya was still awake, winking at Park to continue as well. "Not jealous ?" I scoffed, removing her links around her hands

"No..." Park replied in a low voice, she was still shocked to see Freya kissing me but she has maybe realized at the same time that I wasn't aware of it as well. "Good job....'Bell'." She added, finally free as I help her to get up.

"Time for us to go home." I said, putting one of her arms behind my neck as she was apparently hurt at her right leg.

We started to slowly go out of the room, Freya's gun still in hand, checking if there were anybody to surprise us at all during our escape. Everyone was looking busy outside fighting Adler's team and we were near the door that could have allowed us to get out of that plane until I was hit by someone behind me, causing me to fall with Park along me. When I looked who did this, it was Freya herself, that were going to strike me again until I make her fall touch with my legs.

"Go ! I'll take care of her !" I ordered Park to get out of the place without me as we were just at the exit of the plane. Even if she was wounded at her leg, she was able to move with difficulty without me as I was getting up, awaiting Freya to get up as well.

"They're manipulating you, Yirina !" Freya shouted, angry....lost....sad....all at the same time.

"Shut up !" I yelled in return before I decided to move to attack her. I had no choices but I was still acting and I wanted it to stop but I couldn't do it at all....my body pleaded me to stop but I couldn't.

I threw myself on her, wanting to tackle her down but she resisted to not fall and she decided to nudge at my back, exactly where my gunshot wound was, causing me to scream in pain as I tried to fight back, I removed myself from her and I was going to hit her in the face but she moved in a second and quickly kneekick me in the chest and suddenly, she striked me precisely at the throat with her hand, stopping any air to come in and out of me.....breathless.

"No !" She exclaimed, realizing what she has done as she put her hands on me. I was holding my throat in pain, my knees on the ground. "Yirina, I'm so sorry, I didn't want to...."  I stopped her by pushing away before slowly walking out of the plane, slowly and in difficulty "Yirina !" She shouted.

"'Wraith, we have to go !"  I could hear someone said as I was out of the plane.

I then start to see the door of the plane closing, seeing Freya for the last time before it was completely closed and the plane was starting its engines, taking off second after second as me...I fall on my knees, trying to have a breath, holding my throat in pain. The gunshots were over but I was in trouble as I fall on my back, looking at the dark skies of the city.

"Yirina !" I could hear Park arriving next to me and start to hold me, having seen me in trouble. She realized that I was breathless and she looked around "Medic, help !" She yelled as I could see some peoples running towards us before she looked at me, scared. "It's going to be okay, Yirina !" I tried to smile but I was feeling that I was going to pass out....maybe die, I put my right hand on her face, trying at my best to reassure her....

"Gonna....be....okay !"

[zahkilimasac]

the quarantine that we thought would only last weeks took much longer than we expected.

During the quarantine, we've gone through many struggles. like, adjusting to the new normal, being forbidden to go outside, hang out with your friends, and go shopping. This was one of our ways to relieve stress and enjoy ourselves. But with the pandemic, we can't do any of that. We're stuck at home, left with nothing to do. This causes our mental health to get worse. As a teenager, I also experienced that and it is indeed a hard experience.

So here are 5 things that help me cope up with the situation and enjoy myself during the quarantine that might help you too!

1. Engaging in Arts

The first week of quarantine I was already bored. So, I browse through “shopee” an online shopping app, and the first thing that caught my attention is the cute and affordable drawing materials and stationery. I thought that this would help me to kill some time during the quarantine so I pressed the add to cart button and “check order”! after weeks (some took a month because of the pandemic) items I ordered finally arrived and I don't regret anything. the drawing materials I ordered indeed help me a lot to kill some time and enjoy myself.

Drawing, painting, designing my room with the cute and cool designs I bought, helps me distract myself to think negative things that relieve my anxiety, it disconnects as from stress, express inner thoughts, and even meditate. Aside from that, When drawing, we actively use both sides of our brain, the right for creativity, and the left for logical thinking. This strengthens both and helps develop the ability to focus and think strategically.

Here are some of my works!

2. Journal Making

now that we are quarantined, we can't hang out with our friends, classmates, and enjoy ourselves with them, we can't tell them our stories, no one's gonna listen to our problem. We have our families to speak to that will also listen to us too, but I'm just not open to them, it's hard to open up to my family. I'm not the type of person who shares their problems with their friends. I just tend to keep it myself until I recover from it. But this situation still made an impact on me. I used to love it when I'm alone, but now it's different, It feels lonely. I want to go outside and talk to my friends. I can't handle being alone anymore. My mental health got worst and fragile because of that.

Mid- January I had a panic attack. I was anxious for an unknown reason, to the point, my head hurts from thinking too much, then I start shivering like crazy, I couldn't control my breathing, tears keep falling from my eyes. It lasts almost an hour. I was so afraid. What I did during that time, is wrote in my journal random things, the thing that makes me happy, encouraging words, and my problems to calm myself and distract myself from negative thoughts. Journaling is a tool that allows you to explore the experiences that make you anxious. It helps you clear your mind of intrusive thoughts that “won't leave you alone”. Journaling helps you calm your mind. It releases negative feelings and thoughts.

Here are a few of the pages from my journal!

3. Taking Pictures

Quarantine and left nothing to do. Just scrolling through my social media, Facebook, TikTok, and Instagram. Admiring their pictures, their visuals. It made me a little bit insecure about myself, of how I look like and lose my confidence. So I thought to myself if I can do it too. So I tried it thinking I can get my confidence back.

Aside from pictures connects us to our past, remind us of people, place, feelings, and stories. It becomes my coping mechanism to dress up and look decent and take a picture. Especially now that we are in quarantine, stuck at home. There are no rules that my hair should only be 3 inches long and such. I can express myself and my creativity more. Now that I've been posting my pictures on my social media I gain my confidence back. The amount of love, compliments, and validation they're giving to my pictures are just astronomical.

Here are some of my pictures of me feeling myself!

4. Making Friends Online

I've been feeling lonely since the quarantine started. I'm not a friendly person. so, I only have few friends in real life, and I couldn't message them every time because they have their own lives too, and I don't want to bother them.

So I started by making a new Facebook account to have a new set of friends I can talk to then I posted the pictures I took. Through that, people added me from different places Luzon, Visayas, and Mindanao, and even from other countries like China, Japan, and Lithuania. Some of them I meet through online games. They become a big part of my life as they're the ones who help and cheer me up when I'm down, encourage me, and boost my self-esteem. Though it is kind of sad that you can't meet them for now because they are from far away, and it's hard to communicate with them. Especially when they speak a different language. But with the help of the new technology, we can now watch movies together, translate messages, video calls, and more!

These are some of the screenshots of me and my online friends' face time!

5. Watching Netflix

And Of course, watching Netflix!

Anime, K-Drama, J-Drama, Movies, Cartoons, you name it, you can watch it all on Netflix.

Since I was younger, I always watch anime to kill some time and enjoy myself at the moment. It also becomes my stress reliever. Also, watching movies encourage emotional release. Even those who often have trouble expressing their emotions might find themselves laughing or crying during a film. This release of emotions can have a cathartic effect and also make it easier for a person to become more comfortable in expressing their emotions.

here are some of my favorite scenes!

That's all! thanks for reading! stay safe!

[toocool2btrue]

They were Roommates 2/2

Unedited. Please ignore the small mistakes and i hope you enjoy it.

"Nadia?"

"Helloo Lance. Longtime no see! How are you this fine afternoon?" she cheerfully greeted.

Lance's brows furrowed in confusion, Sure Nadia was one of Pidge's closest friends but she hardly came over here.

"Katie's in the kitchen." he pointed towards the almost closed door. "What brings you here?" he politely questioned and Nadia winked in reply. "I am here on a very important mission" she declared. "The greatest mission ever inthe history of mankind. I am here to do God's work!"

Lance shook his head in amusement, Pidge had no right to call him overdramatic when her own bestfriend was like a walking theatre. "You!" she pointed at him. "You might be actually very useful for this mission"

Lance immediately perked up, "What is the mission about? Is it something for Katie?" Nadia nodded approvingly, "Katie was right. You are smart"

His eyes widened, "Katie thinks I am smart?" that was news for him.

Nadia nodded, "She says you have a way with humans and this trait of yours will surely come useful because you see my dear friend Katie is a very intelligent woman when it comes to science."

Nadia then sighed exhaustedly, "But she can be so oblivious when it comes to human emotions. She wouldn't able to spot true love if he danced in front of her wearing 'I ♥ K' shirt"

Lance chuckled at the imagery, "Actually I can agree with you on that"

"I am so glad you do because now we have a chance to make things right!" Nadia stated as Lance gave her quizzical look.

"Are you trying to set her on a date?" he questioned, his tone had taken a more sober turn. Nadia could feel that although his expression hadn't really changed, the lightheartedness had disappeared.

She fixed her glasses as she continued, "Well yes. You see I have noticed that James really likes her"

"The guy inside?" he questioned again, pointing towards the kitchen. Yet again his tone was nueteral but there was a certain edge to it.

"Isn't he cute?" she questioned, suspiciously.

Lance muttered something inaudible to himself, she noticed that his eyes were constantly flitting back to the kitchen. Nadia's curiosity levels were rising as her mind played the multiple possibilities.

Katie's roommate had a thing for her? That was a stupid question to ask it seemed pretty obvious that he had. Nadia mentally facepalmed, she wouldn't put past her friend to not notice that. To be fair, he was quite a looker too. They would make a cute couple as well, she grinned evilly.

But first she needed to find out if Katie liked him as well or not. Nadia really wanted to further interrogate Lance but just at the wrong time her phone started ringing.

Usually she would just told the person to call later but considering the said person was her mom, she just sadly excused herself.

Lance only distractedly nodded in acknowledgement as Nadia headed towards Katie's room. The conversation with her mother ended up being longer than she had originally ended. By the time she finished, Katie had already returned to her room.

"Hey!" Nadia grinned widely but Katie was not going to buy the act.

"What are you doing here. Didn't you have a test today?" she questioned suspiciously.

Nadia pouted, Katie should be happy that Nadia was here to fix her weird love life. Ungrateful friends but being the good friend she was, Nadia decided not to take her friend's hostility to the heart. Instead she decided to test her theory.

"Class got cancelled. So I came here to check on Mr Cutie" she informed, Nadia leaned closer as anticipated her friend's reaction.

Katie merely smiled in amusement, "He just left a few minutes ago besides you are going to see him tomorrow in class anyway so what's the rush?"

Theory one- Currently rejected. It was time to test the second theory

"Speaking of cuties, your roommate is pretty cute too. Do you know who he is dating recently?" Nadia smirked.

To Nadia's utter amusement. Katie frowned, a look of irritation sparked in her eyes. "Geez Nads, Last time I checked I wasn't the manager of his love life"

"Still you seem to be extensively aware of it" Nadia grinned, seeing Katie's cheeks puffed up.

"Hard not to notice when he was parading them all around our apartment" Katie replied dryly causing Nadia to almost choke at her own laughter.

"Although.." Katie thoughtfully added, "He hasn't brought anyone for a longtime now"

"Do you think he might be currently interested in someone?" Nadia questioned, evilly.

Katie shook her head in a horrified manner, "God help whichever poor girl he is after now"

____________

"I don't believe this" Allura whispered. "Well it's the truth. I did an experiment and everything" Nadia assured.

"Didn't you go there to check on Katie and James?" Romelle reminded.

"I did" Nadia nodded gravely. "So did you?" Allura questioned raising a suspicious brow.

Nadia laughed nervously, "I got a bit distracted with my new observation."

"Nadia.." The two girls chided.

"Guys you have to believe me-" Nadia defense was cut off by Keith's entrance.

"Hey, what are you guys upto?" he greeted taking his usual seat next to Allura.

Nadia immediately perked up at the sight of new audience, "Keith, you have no idea what I discovered!" she declared proudly. Keith questionably looked at Allura who simply shrugged before turning back to Nadia.

"Lance likes Katie!" she announced, awaiting for another shocked reaction.

"I know that" he casually informed. "So it's actually true?" Allura questioned excitedly, earning a glare from Nadia.

Allura nervously laughed, "Now Nadia honey. You do have a tendency to overstate at times."

Keith smirked, "He rejected Miranda Green for her. Of course it's true"

"What!!" The three girls echoed.

"Please tell me you are not joking" Nadia asked in disbelief. Keith shrugged, "I don't joke"

"Dude I don't think even I could reject Miranda Green. Lance must be really serious" Nadia concluded.

Keith rolled his eyes as he crossed his arms, "He talks about her all the time in class. He better be serious"

"If Katie likes Lance as well. How come they fight so much?" Romelle questioned, confused.

Nadia smirked devilishly, "It must definitely be the tension between them"

"Although.." Allura tapped her chin thoughtfully, "If you think about it. It's been sometime since Katie has mentioned a fight between her and Lance"

Keith smirked, "You guys are finally catching on. This thing has been going on for sometime now" he stated.

"How come you never mentioned it to me before?" Allura asked.

"Well it isn't really my place to tell besides I knew you guys would eventually figure it out. They radiate vibes of an old married couple"

____________________

Lance glared at the half written page, his brain felt numb and with every passing second he was losing his will to live.

"Stupid sea! Stupid fishes! Stupid life!" he muttered angrily, trying his best to keep his brain alive.

"Still here?" a mischievous voice called, he looked up to see Pidge standing at the doorway of the kitchen with her trusty laptop.

Lance groaned, rubbing his eyes "Kill me. I know you always wanted to do that"

Pidge nodded sympathetically, "I would but since I worked really hard this semester. I can't afford to go to jail"

She walked over to him and inspected the screen. A ray of hope lit inside his heart, Pidge was a genius, she could definitely help him.

"Deep sea ecology.." she mumbled to herself. Pidge sighed, giving Lance yet another sympathetic look but this one seemed more genuine.

"I am sorry but I am terrible in biology. I can't help you" she apologized and Lance's eyes widened with shock. Even Pidge couldn't help him it was definitely the end of the world.

"But your mom is a botanist! You own half a dozen plants! How can you be bad at biology?!" he questioned desperately.

"Well unfortunately my brother and I got the physics part more from our dad. As for the plants, I would consider myself more of a gardener rather than a botanist besides you wouldn't consider every dog owner a zoologist now would you" she explained.

Unfortunately that explanation brought little comfort to the sleep deprived boy. "I am going to flunk this class" he cried out in distress.

Pidge cautiously eyed her roommate, had he finally cracked?

"You aren't going to fail this assignment" she tried to reassure, comfortingly rubbing his shoulders.

"You still have time" she reminded, glancing at the clock. It was 1 in the morning. Unfortunately Lance was wasn't much a night owl, at his best he could probably stay awake till 3 am.

"Not alot of time but you can still do it" she whispered mostly to herself.

Lance lowered his head in defeat, "It's no use I don't have the energy anymore. My brain is numb"

"I can help you with that" she offered heading towards the kitchen cabinets.

"I know you are more of tea person but coffee is your savior today." she informed. Lance nodded gratefully, "So what are you working on in this fine hour?"

"Matt and I are working on a program and I needed to get the coding done for it by yesterday but then I got occupied with that project with James... so here I am!"

"We are very sad people" Lance bitterly concluded as Pidge handed him his coffee. "Drink this and I am sure you will stay awake for atleast another hour" she assured.

"Thanks" he mumbled taking a sip of the hot energizing beverage.

"Wait where are you going?" he questioned, as Pidge headed towards the door with her laptop and her own coffee mug. "Well you are working here so I will work in my room" she explained.

Lance shook his head " I think the kitchen table is big enough for both of us to work at the same time"

A bitter taste entered his mouth but it wasn't the coffee. It was jealousy as he was reminded about yesterday's events, Lance knew he was acting petty but he couldn't help it.

"You were working here with James just fine" He added.

Surprise overtook Pidge as her eyes widened at the sudden mention, it caused another wave of irrational jealousy in his stomach.

"We were working on the same thing so of course we had to sit together" she replied, feeling a spike of irritation.

Lance shrugged, "We can still work here together. There is enough space and I know this is your favorite place to work"

"Come on" he urged, "I don't bite"

Pidge wearily eyed him, "Factually speaking I do know some girls who might say otherwise" Nontheless she took a seat beside him, opening the laptop with a exhausted sigh.

She took a big gulp of coffee, glaring at the screen as Lance had a few minutes ago before started her work. Pidge furiously typed letting out all her exhaustion and frustration on the keyboard.

Lance simply watched, momentarily forgetting about his own assignment. Although she was one of the most straightforward people Lance has had the pleasure of knowing but Pidge was still great in hiding her emotions towards people.

Heck she gave Lance a hard time figuring if she liked him or not.

"P-Katie?" Lance warily called. "Hmmm?" she hummed in response, if she ever felt any surprise of him using her real she certainly didn't show it.

"Do you hate me?" he asked abruptly.

The exhausted look Pidge gave him reminded him of his dear mother, "Yes, I hate you and that's why I made you coffee and comforted you a few minutes ago" she sarcastically stated.

Lance weakly chuckled at the response, feeling a sense of relief.

"But I don't think you really like me that much either" he mumbled. "I can't blame you though I did alot of things that pissed you off"

"I used to do a lot of those things too but none of us has done either of those things for a longtime now" Pidge reminded him, still glaring at her computer screen.

"Still I threw that big party that almost got both us into deep trouble even though you warned me not to do so"

Pidge shrugged, "But we did figure out a solution and didn't get into trouble. It happened months ago and now it doesn't matter"

Lance smiled to himself, "It mattered to me. It was the first time we actually worked together"

"Oh" she whispered looking at him, realising he was right. It was the start of their era of peace after months of bickering and fighting with one another.

"And I really like it. You know us getting along..." he confessed shyly.

The night was a quiet cold one. It felt like the whole city was fast asleep except for the moon and the two souls. The late night provided an atmosphere of drunkness, the sleepy drunkness when our thoughts don't remain guarded by the walls of hesitation.

That gives us the bravery to face what we try to avoid. Lance had realized that he was long lost in those amber eyes. Not many had the courage to explore those golden orbs but here he was lost inthe desert, wandering as a thirsty man in search of water afraid that he wouldn't survive long.

Katie on the other hand was only inthe brink of realization, she had unknowingly ventured deep in the ocean, She was curiously searching for something but still unaware of the deph of the sea. The lack of awareness didn't make her fear the idea of drowning yet.

His words rang in her head, I like it when we get along. She could have retorted with her usual teasing but this was a moment of honesty so she smiled, "I do too"

The grin he gave her in response made his eyes crinkle at the ends, this was the moment she realized that despite of crazy antics at timesshe didn't dislike him. Dislike was far from what she felt, the moments of tolerance had unknowingly turned into fondness but was it the same fondness that she felt for the rest of her friends? Something felt different with Lance.

"So would you like to renew our housing contract for the next semester?" he questioned hopefully.

A few months back the idea of it gave her nightmares but now with the twist time brings Pidge found herself grinning "Sure" she agreed.

Lance's face curled into his signature impish smile, "I can't believe I finally managed to charm you" he teased but there he was again disguising something.

Pidge rolled her eyes at him, "Stop talking and get back to your work or I might start reconsidering my decision"

"Aye Aye ma'am"

__________________________

"Morning!" Lance called out to Pidge as she slowly padded out of her room.

"Morning" Pidge yawned, making a weak effort to fix her bed hair. "Did you get any sleep?" she questioned, inspecting the boy who was fully dressed and ready to go out.

Lance nodded tying his shoes, "Three hours but atleast I got the assignment done. I feel like a free man. Thanks again"

"Anytime" she mumbled still half asleep. "Hey do you want me to drive you to campus?" he asked.

Pidge shook her head, "You are already running late and I don't have class for another hour so I'll just take the bus later"

"I'll see you later" He reached out to ruffle her hair.

"Don't you always" she joked, swatting his hand away. Lance gave her a small smile, "Yeah it's just..." his eyes wandered from her to the clock on the wall. "Shoot! I am late!" he panicked, waving a quick bye before heading out of the door.

"Goofball" she whispered affectionaly closing the door.

_______________________

11:30 am marked the end of her of class. Most of the students had disappeared just as the Professor had left the room but Katie remained seated in her usual spot. She was busy reading the group messages that described the pain of her dear absent friend.

"My cramps are killing me!!"~ Nadia

"Have you tried ginger tea. It helps me"~Allura.

"I have tried everything!!"~Nadia

"There are certain exercise positions that help"~Allura

"Allura,I swear you are going to die as soon as I get the strength to get up!"~Nadia

"I am at the store. I got the painkillers and the chocolates. Coming home soon"~Romelle

"Romelle marry me!!"~Nadia

Katie giggled, Good old Romelle saving the day. Before she could further read the messages to know whether the wedding happened or not, Somebody gently tapped her shoulder.

Katie was surprised to see, pleasantly surprised to see James. "Hey" he greeted and Katie nodded in acknowledgement "Hi"

There was a nervous look in his eyes, "Uh.. Katie can I ask you a favor?"

"Sure?" she answered with uncertainty wondering what could the possible favor be. James cleared his throat, " I was wondering if you could go through with me with the last week lecture."

He nervously scratched the back of his neck, "This is kinda embarrassing but... that lecture totally went over my head and you really explain things so well. When we did the project together it was the first time I had so much fun doing something for Professor Hugo's class"

Katie cursed her pale cheeks as they turned into a bright shade of red but at the same time she felt a jab of sympathy for him. She had her older brother to help with such ordeals or else she might be in such deep waters too.

"Sure, I am free today if you want to come over?" Katie offered to which James nodded gratefully "Thank you!"

__________________

"Hmm..that's weird" she mumbled to herself opening the door to an empty and silent apartment. Lance was usually home at this time, she felt rise of disappointment in her stomach.

"Your roommate isn't home?" James questioned, looking around. Katie shrugged in response, she didn't know whether to find it unusual or normal. She headed to the kitchen where there was a note taped to the fridge.

"Gone to buy groceries" she read, shaking her head. To think he could have used his phone to an advantage and just messaged her that but then again Lance was a man of his own quirks which couldn't be questioned.

"Let's began" she declared opening her notes. James took the seat beside hers and opened his own notebook as well, "Can we please start with the numericals. They kill me a bit everytime I see them"

"Sure" Katie chuckled and they set to work. Tutoring James was hardly a difficult task, he was a fast learner and there were the occasional side conversations and remarks which made the whole thing more interesting. James certainly had a captivating personality but still Katie found herself eyeing the front door waiting for a certain someone to return from his shopping.

"When I got into this university. My mom was so happy she called all our relatives and couldn't stop praising me in front of our neighbors. It was so....embarrassing" he mumbled, the color red dusting on his tanned cheeks.

Katie couldn't help but think how cute he looked. She wasn't aware how many kinds of categories for cute guys existed but James had the mature charm to him unlike Lance who was boyishly cute. The charm of his was the only thing that made him a bit bearable before they learned to get along.

Katie groaned in agreement, "My parents were worse. You would think after my brother they would have calmed down a bit but nooo...When I got accepted they threw a party and all their colleagues and our family kept ask if I was going to follow my parents legacy but I got a decent amount of gifts. So all was forgiven"

James chuckled, leaning closer. "I don't know. I think their reaction was justified. Who wouldn't be proud to have such a genius daughter"

Katie's face turned bright crimson, only now she had noticed how close he had gotten to her. It caused a storm of butterflies in her stomach. She slightly shifted back but in a process to do, she elbowed her textbook which had been dangerously lying at the edge of the table, knocking it down. The book fell between them.

"I'll get it!!" they both called, ducking down to retrieve the book. They both looked at each other slightly startled on now close their faces were. Katie was transfixed by his gaze, not finding the strength to move. Nervousness danced in his blue eyes but they were grayish blue rather than Lance's bright blue ones.

James onthe other hand was done dancing around this topic. He gently cupped her cheek in his hands and closed the distance between them. Despite her surprise, Katie responded, her eyes closing . Her brain had gone haywire, nothing made sense anymore.

Her ears pricked at the sound of the front door closing and that was enough for her to break from her trance. Unfortunately it was proven to be too late because as she opened her eyes and pulled away.

Lance stood at the entrance of the kitchen deathly still, his bright blue eyes which usually sparkled with merriment had a maddeningly dangerous to them. He mouth which was initially opened due to shock twitched into a scowl. He shot a deathly glare towards James but when he turned towards Katie there was hurt evident in his eyes which mercilessly twisted her heart

He slammed the two paperbags containing the groceries onthe table muttering a quick "Excuse me" and then left the kitchen. The 'thud' made by the bags woke Katie from her second shock of the day.

"I am sorry.. but you should go" Katie whispered to the confused James before running after the other boy. "Lance!" she called out to him but he already slammed the door. She impatiently rapped on his door calling his name but no reply. After a minute or so, Katie gave up.

Her legs felt like they were made of jelly. With shaky steps she made her way to the couch, her heart was beating rapidly against her chest but unknown for what occasion. "What the hell is happening?" she whispered clawing her hair in frustration.

The regret was soon followed by anger, she didn't know specifically who the anger was directed to. Firstly it was on herself for letting this situation happen then it was on James for initiating the situation but inthe she found the true culprit.

Lance! How dare he react like that. Her business was none of his concern. She was most definitely not answerable to him and she didn't need to feel guilty for anything! She hadn't done anything wrong. He was no saint himself afterall, if her action was a crime that boy would be serving life in prison without parole.

She bitterly glanced at his closed door, he could live in there for the rest of his life for all she cared. To think they were making progress and she started considering him a close friend and then it all got ruined.

Katie had enough of the day, she slowly walked towards her room and then stubbornly slammed the door shut as well, It brought a little satisfaction to her at such times. Unfortunately the last traces of anger soon disappeared from her body and previous guilt returned. Despite her consolations that it didn't matter what Lance thought, deep in heart she knew it did and the fact he was hurt because of her, made her stomach twist uncomfortably.

Katie tried to view her unconscious actions with a more conscious perspective. Why did she run after him? Was she more concerned with hurting Lance rather than James? The answer was in front of her and as much as she wanted to. She couldn't deny it anymore.

"No no no. This can't be happening" she groaned in her pillow, not him. She couldn't possibly be in love with Lance, is this the price she had to pay for the amazing apartment?

But wait ! Did it mean Lance liked her too?. Katie shook her head in disbelief, it couldn't possibly be true. She was well aware of Lance's type and truthfully speaking she was far from it but his weird behavior would make a lot more sense to her now.

"Uff!" she groaned in frustration, she lay on her bed with her hands crossed against her chest. She needed to talk to Lance and make things clear with him or else her mind wouldn't stop pestering her about it.

Reluctantly she gave up the comfort and security of her bed and padded towards Lance's room. She firmly knocked at his door, her ears straining to hear the sound of approaching footsteps from the otherside.

But there were none, Katie rolled her eyes. She didn't want to play his silly games, "Lance!" she called turning the handle on his door. To her surprise, it opened to a empty room. She stood there puzzled for a second before heading to the kitchen.

There was a new note on the fridge, "Gone out" it simply read. The action she had found endearing a few hours ago now felt heart breaking. Pain clawed at her heart as Katie realized that the situation was more grave than she had anticipated.

Slowly she walked to room, she softly sighed picking up her phone and preparing herself for the long the conversation ahead. "Hey Nadia." she greeted, "Get the girls I need to tell you guys something"

______________________

Lance tried to blink back his exhaustion, it had been two days in a row since he hadn't had a proper night's rest. Ironically the reason behind his lack of sleep for each night had a stark difference between them.

He took another sip of his coffee which didn't taste half as good as the one Pidge had made that night. Lance slightly winced at the memory he was desperately trying to forget still he managed to recall it a hundred times by now each time felt like fresh stab at his heart.

The campus cafe was filled with students, most of them quietly sipping their coffee and working on their respective assignments or preparing for test but there was also small minority of people who were talking to their friends and enjoying the early morning but Lance's attention was caught by a certain couple who had just entered.

Allura and Keith looked at each other in surprise as Lance McClain came stumbling towards them . He had a troubled look on his face, Lance nervously ruffled his hair. "I..need your help" he whispered, hesitantly.

Keith looked at Lance as he had grown another head while Allura being aware of the situation decided to take matters in her own hand. "Let's take a seat and talk" she suggested, directing the two men to a empty table.

Lance explained the previous day's events "What do I do now? " he questioned, helplessness evident in his voice. Allura symphatetically patted his shoulder but Keith onthe other hand was not feeling that emphatic.

"You should do what you should've done a longtime ago. Tell her how you feel! How long had you intended to play the game house with her?" he questioned coldly.

Allura angrily eyed Keith to which he sighed and took a more gentler tone. "Look, Katie isn't forever going to wait for you to ask her out. It was this guy today but tomorrow there will be another one and eventually someone might catch her eye. So just be honest with her and tell her how you feeling!"

Allura nodded encouragingly, "Keith is right. You need to communicate with her rather than assuming everything on your own."

__________________

"There he is" Nadia pointed out the familiar burnette. Katie nodded, trying her best to keep a calm composure. She took a deep breath mentally rehearsing the speech Allura and Romelle had made for her.

"You can do this. Good luck " Nadia softly assured, the usual eccentricness was missing from her tone. Katie started walking towards the man in question with steady footsteps but the man was walking much further ahead from her.

She mustered up all her energy, "James!" she called out. The young man stopped almost immediately, he turned around to see her walking towards him with great speed. Surprise was weak word to describe what was written on his face, the man positively looked frozen in shock.

"Uh..Hi" she meekly greeted, as the whole speech flew off from her head. "Hey" he nodded in acknowledgement, there seemed to be a unspoken compeitation between them on who could die of embarrassment the fastest.

Katie sighed, rubbing her arms in comfort, "Look James, I am really sorry for giving you the wrong idea. I really like your company but I don't think of you anything more than a friend"

James gave her a small smile, There was hurt evident in his eyes and Katie felt the lump in her throat rise. She hadn't really ever envisioned herself such a heartbreaker.

"It's alright I kinda figured that. Also I am sorry too.." he shrugged trying to act casual, "For assuming things. I hope I didn't cause any big problem between you and Lance." Katie smiled bitterly looking at the ground, "You don't need to worry. We'll figure things out"

"So I'll see you in class then" she reminded awkwardlyand James nodded, "See you". Katie walked away, feeling partly relieved but now only the easy part had been over. She sighed, the hard part was yet to come.

An hour later Katie found herself seated at the back of the bus. Her mind deep in thought as she stared out of the window, how had everything turned upside down in just a day? Just two days back James was just a friend, Lance was just a friend and now here she was trying to mend her relationship with each of them.

Katie shifted in her seat as the familiar rows of buildings appeared. She wasn't even sure if Lance was going to even talk to her, she had no idea how to deal with him when he was angry which was ironic considering that they spend early months only fighting one another.

Katie yawned, trying her best to keep her eyes open. She had spent the entire night tossing and turning, reconsidering her affections a thousand times for she knew her next decision was very going to be an important one. Unfortunately the mental as well as the physical exhaustion was drowning her strength, she couldn't find the power to convince or reason with Lance at the moment.

The bus finally stopped at her usual stop, Katie along with a few others grabbed her bag and stood up to leave but at the last moment decided against it. She slumped back in her seat, observing the dark clouded sky which was a great representation of the storm that was going inside her. She watched the last passenger get off and then as the bus started again, Katie with her last bit of courage messaged Lance that she was going be home by 10 pm.

Surely this gave them enough time to cool down and let them have a rational conversation. Trying to ignore the knots in her stomach, Katie switched of her phone and instead tried to focus on planning her study schedule. Next stop Olkarain Library.

______________

"Concentrate!" she demanded, feeling annoyed by herself but at the moment it seemed like an impossible feat. Her mind couldn't stop thinking about Lance, she hadn't seen him since last night and although she knew he wasn't that reckless to get himself into trouble her idiotic heart couldn't help but worry. That boy better be home by the time she comes.

Katie sighed casually flipping through her textbook, she really needed to get this done but her mind was already drifting of and the library was so peaceful and quiet. Maybe if she closed her eyes for 5 minutes she would feel more refreshed and probably get something done.

Just 5 minutes, She convinced herself resting her head on the desk and closing her eyes. Just 5 minutes and she will most definitely get back to work......

A few hours later

"Katie" a voiced called out to her lightly shaking her shoulder. Katie finally lifted her head, her eyes still partly closed.

"Lance?" she groggily called out. The owner of the hand chuckled, "Unfortunately no. It's me, Ryner."

This was enough to wake her up completely, "Ryner!" she squeaked, her face flushing with embarrassment.

Ryner nodded with a small knowing smile on her face, "I have to close the library. You should pack up and go home now" she whispered softly. Katie looked around to see the library now dark and empty with the exception of Ryner and her.

She nodded and started slowly packing her things. Ryner nodded with satisfaction "It's very late, Lance must be worried about you." she remarked slyly, making Katie almost drop her precious laptop. Her mentor then thankfully walked away sparing Katie from anymore embarrassment.

Katie hoisted her backpack and finally opened her phone which she guessed had been powered off for a few hours by now. The sky was pitch black, the dark clouds had completed hidden the pale moonlight.

"What!" she exclaimed, checking the time. It was 12 am and she had messaged Lance that she would be home by 10. Hesitantly she opened her call log to see 22 missed calls and 56 messages from Lance. "This can't be happening" she muttered, if Lance was mad at her before she surely didn't want to imagine his reaction now.

But still mustering up her courage, she pressed the call option. "Hi.." She whispered helplessly.

"Katerina Paige Holt, where the hell are you!" Lance replied his voice brimming with anger and worry. She was mildly impressed that he remembered her full name considering he always prefered to call her with that awful nickname but that was something to celebrate another time.

"I'm sorry" she mumbled, there was a pause on the other line. Lance sighed and continued in a more softer tone, "Katie where are you? Do you have any idea how worried I am. It's midnight and you aren't home yet and you aren't picking up your phone. I even called your friends and they said you weren't with them. Is everything alright?"

Katie tried to swallow back the lump which had reappeared in her throat. "I am fine. I am at the Olkarain library that is near your favourite ice-cream shop". There was silence on the other line and Katie held her breath. "Stay there. I am coming to get you" he commanded, ending the call.

As Katie ended her call, a drop of water landed on the top of her head. "Quiznak!" she cursed, as she realized it had started to rain. It was the only thing left to complete this awful day. She moved nearer to the library's entrance whose design provided enough shelter from the rain.

She leaned against the door, going further down her call log praying she hadn't missed any of her mother's calls. "Hunk?" she whispered in surprise, he had called three times in a row around 9 pm. That was weird considering she and Hunk usually talked during the weekends but it must be something important. Doing a quick calculation of time difference in her head, she called her bestfriend.

"Hi Katie, where were you?" Hunk questioned. "I fell asleep while studying" she explained and Hunk chuckled in amusement.

The two friends a minute to catch up on everything before Hunk stated his reason of call, "Mom and Dad were wondering if you two would like to renew your contract. They are really hoping you do. They say they can finally sleep in peace knowing the apartment is safe and not being trashed."

Katie felt rush of gratitude for Hunk's parents trusting them so much even though they had been once very close to breaking that trust. "I would really like to renew it but I am not sure Lance wants to live with me again" she replied, her heart felt it was being squeezed mercilessly.

"Ok someone tell me what is going on between the two of you!" Hunk declared frustrated.

"I talked to Lance a few hours ago and he said the samething as you. I don't get you two, One minute you despise each other and inthe other you are best buds. Just yesterday afternoon Lance was asking me the recipe for the Peanut butter cookies to make for you and now you guys can't live with eachother?!"

Katie's eyes widened and suddenly her started beating rapidly, "Lance was asking what?"

Hunk sighed onthe other end, "He said something about you helping him with some project and that's why he wanted to surprise you with peanut butter cookies"

"He did?" she asked, her voice cracking, as unconscious tears started trailing down her face. "Katie are you alright?" Hunk's questioned startled. Before she could reply, another voice called out to her.

"Pidge! Stay there I am coming!" Lance shouted, getting out his car which he fondly named Blue although it was bright red. He pulled out ridiculously bright yellow umbrella as well and starting walking towards her not caring of the puddles that made his favorite shoes dirty.

Katie watched with a horrified realization, her heart threatened to come out of her chest and all she could think at that time was. This was no ordinary crush, it was something scarily deep. She was in love with Lance McClain.

But the idea didn't seem as terrifying as she once thought. After all the guy was Lance, the funniest person she knew but will never admit, A guy with a heart of gold and oh those blue eyes, she could stare into them forever.

As he finally reached her, Katie couldn't hold on any longer. She was done acting strong, one look of Lance standing there with that stupid bright yellow umbrella was all it took for her to engulf him in a desperate embrace.Despite his initial surprise Lance gladly returned the gesture securely wrapping his free hand around her waist.

"Hey there Pigeon, you really scared me" he softly whispered in her ear sending shivers down her spine.

"Ok I'll just hang up myself. You two continue" Hunk shouted, from the phone scaring the life out of Lance and causing him to drop the umbrella. Despite the moment Katie couldn't help but giggle pulling away from Lance. "Sorry Hunk. I'll talk to you later" she apologized sheepishly.

"You two better give me a decent explanation later or else I am gonna come back and bring Shay's cousins to kick your asses!" he threatened.

"Will do" they chorused ending the call. Lance watched love stricken as Katie clutched her stomach trying to control her laughter. "Hey there" he whispered, clasping her pale hands in his tanned ones and pulled her closer to him.

"I want to apologize for acting up like that" he mumbled and Katie nodded forgivingly.

"Also there is something important you need to know" he murmured, gently touching her cheek. Instinctively she moved closer to him as well.

"Katie, I am in love with you" he whispered feeling terrified by own his words. This was the first time he made such a strong and although she didn't immediately reply, there was something in her eyes that told him that she felt the same.

"I love you so much" he continued kissing her forehead. "You won't believe me if I told you" he softly chuckled, kissing both of her cheeks.

Katie giggled as Lance kissed the top of her nose. Lance nervously glanced at her lips and Katie smiled to herself knowing this was her move to make.

She smiled teasingly at him before finally confessing, "I love you too" she uttered shyly and then standing at the tip of her toes she finally closed the distance between them.

A Few Weeks Later

"Katie, I love your dutch braids" Allura praised. "How are they so perfect. I always end up messing mine" Allura asked.

Katie proudly held up one of them, "Lance braided them. He spent half an hour on YouTube figuring out how to do them perfectly. I tried to stop him but he was stubbornly convinced that they would suit me"

Nadia elbowed Romelle mischeviously, "Look at her. She is so smitten by him to think once they were just roommates."

The End

Hi Guys! I know this was very long post but if you made it till the end. I just wanna say I love you guys! Thanks for reading this story.

I want to specially thank @suemaryrakocy, @as2015 @nessajjewell @kathybuglove @elby-the-megnet @jewelcuzimpreciousdamit @jood-89 for their amazing and supporting comments which gave me the motivation to complete the story. Thank you so much guys. Also thank you to @rueitae For her amazing tags. They make my day. I am terribly sorry if I missed anyone, it's 2 am here and i am barely awake.

I hope you enjoy the story. Please Reblog if you liked it and please do tell me what was your favorite moment.

[petite-madame]

Hello! I hope you're having a good day and I'm not bothering you. You are an amazing artist and you always seem so nice and down to earth, so I hoped you might have a few words on my problem. I sometimes draw fanart and it's decent enough but I know that if I ever wanted to pursue art, I'd need to work hard on fundamentals. But I'm also struggling with depression and it's now bad enough that I can't imagine a future for myself at all, let alone set a goal to work towards. So I sometimes (1/3)

manage to draw for a day or two and then can’t bring myself to try for weeks, because it’s too difficult and it feels pointless. Everyone says ‘you can do it if you just practice’, and maybe it’s true, but practicing is extremely hard for me. I can’t afford a therapy right now either, so I can’t hope to try when I’m in better mental state. I’m already 30yo and behind everyone else, I worry wanting to do art is just a waste of time and I should focus on whatever job I can get instead (2/3)   of chasing impossible dreams. And if I draw just for myself, it feels like I’m wasting time. So of course it’s a personal issue and I understand if you won’t answer! I get how it’s a weird question! But I’m really at a loss, and need some objective opinion. If it’s even worth trying to become an illustrator, if the work is something possible to reach, when I know it would take me much longer than other people to even get on higher skill level? (3/3)    

Hi anon!

Sorry about the late reply, I wanted to take the time to answer you properly! Let’s go ^^

You always seem so niceand down to earth

Yeah, but that was before: Iwant things to change, so from now on, I want to be called “Your Majesty”. P-m 1of France. New strategy.

Ok, joke aside, forstarters, I want to tell you that the advice I’m going to give you will be the one of a random Joe on the Internet. I’m an illustrator yes, but I’m still a random Joe. In other words,I’m not a psychologist or someone who has any training with depression even ifI suffer from depression myself. I mean, it’s not because someone has a broken legthat they suddenly become an orthopedist and that they can truly help you withyour own condition. They know about the pain and the experience but they won’t be able toheal you properly. So, what I’m going to tell you is just my two cents on your problem from what Igathered from your asks.

Alright, I think thereare several things to unpack here.

I can’t imaginea future for myself at all, let alone set a goal to work towards

Depression. -____- I thought Iwas going to die before turning 32. I couldn’t believe it when I celebrated my 32th birthdayso like you, I didn’t have any goal because “I won’t exist in the futureanyway”

First, you have to understandthat to become an illustrator, age is somehow not a problem. I started when Iwas about 34 and I was working in a completely different field before that. In addition of having the skills, youhave to be ready financially and emotionally, that’s the most importantcriteria. It doesn’t matter if you had another job/career before becoming aprofessional artist, as you seemed to think that having a job not related to art willprevent you from becoming an illustrator in the future. Even if you work as anartist from the age of 40 to, let’s say 65, it’s already not so bad. I mean lookat Stallone. Back in the 1970s, Sylvester Stallone was a dirt-poor strugglingactor and screenwriter, who at one point couldn’t even afford rent and had tofind places where to sleep. But it all changed when Sylvester was THIRTY and hisscript for Rocky was picked up with him attached in the lead role.

Also, whereyou are lucky is that your dream of becoming an illustrator is more reachablethan let’s say, someone you want to become a K-pop star at 55 (no need to giveme THE example of the only exception on this planet who became a K-pop star at55, you know what I mean). TLDR: if you need to have a job right now, any job,do it. It’s not going to lessen your chances to reach your dream. It can giveyou the opportunity to save some money and give you some time to prepare toyour future life. BUT, let’s face it, there will be a time where you’ll have tofind the courage to take the leap.You can’t spend your life getting ready…to get ready. I KNOW it’s hard.

(…) I sometimes drawfanart and it’s decent enough

Hmmm. USUALLY, peoplewith depression tend not to have a real image of  their work. You’remaybe seeing it as decent but certainly, it’s MORE than good. Don’t underestimate your talent!

So I sometimesmanage to draw for a day or two and then can’t bring myself to try for weeks(…) Everyone says ‘you can do it if you just practice’, and maybe it’s true,but practicing is extremely hard for me.

From the way I see it,you need more motivation than you need practice. If you have zero motivationthat is to say zero things to fuel your inspiration_your world as an artist,this incredible inner landscape where you dig ideas_your practice will bemostly pointless. I’m saying “mostly” because any practice is good from a “gaining skills” point of view, it’s not awaste of time, but if the result of the practice makes you even more depressed, makes you lose confidence, it’s not healthy. 

To break this circle, whatyou could do, in my opinion, is trying to get involved for instance, inprojects like fandom challenges. It will give you the opportunity to draw the characters you love andcollaborate with someone. People outside the fandom are sometimes laughing atall these events, challenges, Big Bangs, prompt memes (on LJ) but you have to have acertain discipline to engage in something like this. If the thought of adeadline is too difficult for you, you could start working with a friend on acollaborative project and if even this eventuality is too hard for you, you cantry to work on a project alone, like for instance, thisart student that illuminated a copy of the Silmarillion.(ok maybe not THIS big but you got the idea). With your depression, if you try to seat at your desk and practice, practice,practice just for the sake of practicing, it’s gonna drive you mad andreinforce the idea that you’re not good enough to become an illustrator (oreven not good enough at anything). Finding the right project that can motivateyou will make you work and practice without even realizing it (if you don’t puttoo much pressure on your shoulders, of course, but yes, I know, easier saidthan done). And NO, unlike what you said_“And if I draw just for myself, itfeels like I’m wasting time”_it’s NOT a waste of time because it will be auseful practice for your future life as an illustrator. A USEFUL practice,something that will motivate you, “sparks joy” as Marie Kondo would say. You’llgain in focus, confidence, you’ll become progressively a bit prouder of yourself.Of course, you’ll always have self-doubt (like a lot of artists, we are “our harshercritics”, remember?) but at least, these doubts won’t be enough to paralyze youand prevent you from practicing, progressing, having less stress and contemplatewith more confidence your future as an illustrator…or even realizing that it’snot for you, after all, because there’s no shame in that realizing that what was yourdream was maybe not for you, not because you’re not solid or good enough for that butbecause it’s better if it stays a hobby.

However, as you wanted a “real talk”, let me tell you something. If you want to become an illustrator,you’ll have to be able to face the life of an illustrator, ALL OF IT, not onlyart. Managing your schedule, your clients, being able to stand for yourselfwhen confronted to a problem (people refusing to pay you, entitled customers,disease), having an irregular income (you’ll have a lot of money some months andnot a lot the next), going out of your comfort zone, knowing how to manage yourtaxes, etc…That’s the problem: being an illustrator is not only about art anddrawing, it’s about being your own artistic agent 24/7. What you can do to be SURE,it’s maybe in a few months from now, after you managed to motivate yourself abit more and that you did some progress without even realizing it because yourcollaboration with your friends kicked asses, is taking commissions and see howyou can handle it. It’s a good training. Check how it works when itcomes to taxes in your country beforehand, though. You’ll have a foretaste of what being anillustrator is and it will be a good practice for you.

Ok, so long story short:1) becoming an illustrator is not an unreachable dream, even to someone with depression and/or a constant fear of the future but it requires dedicationand preparation. It’s also not incompatible with having a job in a differentfield before or even starting at thirty-five -  2) You have to find a way to make your motivationand your inspiration come back by being involved in a project that you willlove. With friends, it’s even better. Motivation and inspiration are the key, before everything - 3) Built a support system (family, friends,even friends online) that will help you when you feel down.

Having someone to talk to is important

4) Taking baby steps: from fandom projects with a friend to fandom challenges with a deadline to commissions to a job as a professional illustrator. You can’t do the Indianapolis 500-Mile Raceright after obtaining your driving license. However, it doesn’t mean you’ll never be able to run it!

Voilà, it’s all I can tell you, sorry about all the grammar mistakes and the typos, I’m sure there are tons of them.

I hope you’ll get better and that you’ll manage to reach your dream or at least a life where you are happy, fulfilled, even if you don’t become a pro artist. I also hope you’ll manage to do something about your depression and that you’ll find in your area free resources (hot line, help) that will help you with this problem. Good luck to you, it’s not an unreachable dream!              

[lovetheplayers]

I've never been defeated until the rep era...People always say that this is the best era in which everyone has a chance to meet her, to see her on tour, and to communicate with her...But no. Everything in his era is too expensive. Only the ones who are rich enough to buy over-priced stuff like merch/tour tickets get that chance. But not me. I never have and never will. Taylor's even more inaccessible this era. I've been to SN, RED & 1989 tour, but I can't even afford to go to her tour this era.

Anon, firstly, I’m so sorry that you aren’t able to go to this tour. It makes me sad that you’ve been to her past three ones and you’ll be missing out on this one. I’m not going either though, so maybe we can start a club of people who aren’t going, and we can all virtually attend each concert through live updates?

Secondly, I know that Taylor would do anything if she could meet every single one of her fans, and even though she tries her hardest to meet as many people as possible, she just can’t meet every single one them; it’s just a con of being a fan of one of the biggest stars in the world. She has tens of thousands of fans, and there’s only one of her, so it’s sadly implausible to expect her to meet everyone. Also, since she doesn’t do meet and greets that people can pay for, we can only rely on luck and chance to meet her. I think people say everyone has a chance to meet her this era because of all the people she met during release week (SNL, the pop up shop), and the fact that she said that she’s “trying to meet as many of us as humanly possible), but other than that I don’t find it any different than past eras. 

I know the merchandise is really expensive this era, and it sucks, especially since the tour merch is really nice this era! Like I think it’s the first time that everyone loved her merch haha. I don’t think there’s many people who can afford it though, or if they can, they don’t find it necessary to spend so much money on a sweater. And it’s really unfair to the fans I think. The majority of them are so young, and of course they don’t have jobs, so they can’t afford to buy a jacket that costs $150.

Did you try to get the cheapest tickets? I know you you don’t get as good as an experience compared to being close to the stage, but it’s better than nothing, right? Especially this tour, you’ll get an amazing view of the screens on the stage! Also, there are many people who have been saving for this tour since the last tour, so maybe you could do that if you haven’t already? I know it’s a long time from now, but it’d be nice to know that you have enough money saved to afford a ticket for next time.

Anyway, I hope someday you get the chance to meet Taylor, and that you get to go to all of her tours in the future. And please don’t every lose hope about meeting her! If you’re at a show, there’s always a slight chance you’ll get chosen for the post concert meet and greet, so don’t ever give up, and I’m always here if you ever want to talk!