#and ok I lied when I said it’s *all* happy last time.

[deadm0ss]

More titan luz time!! I got more ideas for how stuff works

Starting off right in the middle of the finale, after kings dad leaves her body instead of goin back to full human she’s still a titan but “powered down”. Slightly longer hair, and lil baby fangs an horns immediately apparent with the bones and fluff still there too

Over the next few years her horns would continue growing and so would she. Tall luz supremacy. She’s like a full head and a half taller than amity by the king-ceañera. Unlike king who’ll get island sized she caps out around the height kings dad showed themselves to her as.

(My brain keept spinning the thought ‘hmm what about when she gets her adult fangs’, yet more for the brainworms to feast on>:3)

[thedevotionaltour]

none of this writing has charming soap opera drama appeal i feel like im reading bad wattpad fanfic turned novel drama instead.

[love-belle]

this is what it feels like !!!

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ in which she writes a song about her friendship and everyone loves that.

or

for when you find your platonic soulmate. ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

social media au // charles leclerc x fem!reader

warnings - language

author's note - so sorry for not posting in the last few days, i've been working on my files and all so yeah!!! anyways, i hope you like it. thank you so much for reading, i love you.

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by pierregasly, carmenmmundt, francisca.cgomes and 976,525 others

yourusername this woman may push me off the couch and bully me and take my food but she's a really good friend and i kinda love her to death so 'feels like' out now or wtv. kika, ur cool.

tagged francisca.cgomes

8,627 comments

username HELLO OMG

username GOODBYE.

username i love them so much 😭😭😭😭😭

pierregasly love the song. the singer not so much.

-> yourusername ur gf does and that's all i could ask for tbh

username i fucking love for this duo

username they're so precious to me like actually

username 😭met😭u😭at😭the😭right😭time😭this😭is😭what😭it😭feels😭like😭

username need a friend like her asap.

username the fact that their bfs are also best friends is just so perfect

username OH MY GOD

charles_leclerc would've preferred it if this was about me but ok.

-> francisca.cgomes she literally wrote a whole album for u let me have this one

-> charles_leclerc no.

-> yourusername i love you both ❤️‍🩹 (kika im writing an album as we speak rn)

username not all love stories are romantic ❤️

*liked by yourusername and francisca.cgomes*

francisca.cgomes y/n ur cool

-> yourusername i know thank u

francisca.cgomes this song is a bop

-> yourusername thank u

francisca.cgomes all jokes aside THANK U LIKE???? i love you so much, you're fr my best and im so glad i have u in my life 🫶🏼 thank you for making everything better with just a smile

-> yourusername KIKA STOP OMG 😭😭😭 i love you so much like ur one of my favourite people and i adore u so much ❤️

username they're so ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

username their friendship means so much to me 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by yourusername, charles_leclerc, pierregasly and 854,326 others

francisca.cgomes living in a movie i've watched

tagged yourusername

7,427 comments

username i love this omg ☹️☹️☹️☹️

username at this im convinced that they love each other more than they love their bfs

*liked by francisca.cgomes*

username it's a want.

pierregasly my fav person in the whole world and then it's just y/n

-> yourusername this is exactly why i have you saved as "kika's bf" in my phone

-> francisca.cgomes HELP

username y/n and pierre hate each other with so much dedication im in love

-> francisca.cgomes they're actually best friencs

-> yourusername lies

-> pierregasly she just bullies me

username these two ‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️

carmenmmundt love u both 💌💌💌

*liked by yourusername and francisca.cgomes*

username girls friendships are so precious like it's so pure

charles_leclerc please return my gf

-> francisca.cgomes no ❤️

-> yourusername u heard what she said

-> charles_leclerc all your fault. pierregasly

-> pierregasly STOP NO IT'S NOT

username i just know charles and pierre regret introducing these two

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by yourusername, carlossainz55, pierregasly and 975,365 others

charles_leclerc she does love me ❤️

tagged yourusername

8,527 comments

username HELP

username these two omg

username THESE BITCHES MAKE ME CRY LIKE STOP BEING SO IN LOVE IT'S HARD FOR ME

username god has been kind to others

pierregasly disgusting

-> charles_leclerc i don't care ❤️

username y/n finally making time for her side hoe

*liked by yourusername and francisca.cgomes*

username i can't do this today.

username im happy for them *cries*

francisca.cgomes let go of my wife thank u

-> charles_leclerc my* wife, soon anyway

-> yourusername CHARLES MARC HERVÉ PERCEVAL LECLERC

-> francisca.cgomes THIS IS HOW I FIND OUT YOU'RE ENGAGED

-> pierregasly OH MY GOD

username what the fuck just happened

username i haven't blinked in MINUTES what.

username please tell me my wife did NOT get snatched up by a dude that drives his little red car in circles on weekends

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by lewishamilton, carlossainz55, pierregasly and 988,728 others

yourusername only said yes bc he asked nicely ❤️ but fr, me and him, it's a forever thing now. i love you so much, my love, thank you for everything. truly cannot wait to annoy you for the rest of our lives.

tagged charles_leclerc

9,367 others

username SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT.

username GOODNIGHT.

username on the highway if anyone asks.

username time to take a toaster bath

lewishamilton ❤️

*liked by yourusername*

username omg 😭😭😭😭😭

username the fact that we found out through comments on kika's post is CRAZY

-> username it feels like a fever dream

username "me and him, it's a forever thing" DECEASED.

pierregasly still mad about how we found out

-> yourusername stay mad (we were on our way to your house)

-> pierregasly i will (come over and bring something to eat)

-> yourusername ok. (im literally in your living room rn)

username this whole friendship is so fucking clueless and chaotic like

username i love them so much ://///

lilymhe my favs ❤️❤️❤️

*liked by yourusername*

username can't wait for the wedding omg the photos are gonna EAT

francisca.cgomes heartbroken betrayed wounded crying screaming throwing up sliding down the wall bashing my head

-> yourusername i can see u giggle while typing this

-> francisca.cgomes let me have my moment look away

francisca.cgomes after all we've been through

-> yourusername for what it's worth, you will always be my no. 1

-> charles_leclerc it's worth nothing.

-> francisca.cgomes go and cry about your fiancée loving me more than you

username THEY'RE SO ❤️

username god i am done.

[luveline]

hey! would you mind writing sirius black x reader (ole flame or something) when they meet for the first time since azkaban at a meeting for the order? thank you and happy holidays!

thank u for requesting, hope this is OK! ♡

—you and sirius both get to go home eventually, 2.2k. fem

You were still kids when Sirius… went away. You thought he hurt James and Lily, and it didn't matter that you loved him because he was evil and cruel and he hurt the people he loved most in the world, and then you were outposted thousands of miles eastward, your life a shadow. 

Remus sent you letters. You always answered, even when it hurt, but his last was too much to believe. You told yourself that someone forged his handwriting through a curse or some new gimmick, and then a second arrived with a smaller envelope hidden inside. 

No name written on it. No Dear anything to begin. 

Things are different to what you've been told. Please come home, it said. This penmanship was shaken like a hand out of practice, but something felt familiar in the curves and dots. 

If Remus’ letter (and the second smaller one too) were in fact telling the truth, it means you did something awful, and so, for a while, you don't go. 

Please, the next letter says, again enclosed within a larger explanation from Remus, I'm sorry. I just want to see you again. 

Getting home isn't as simple as he might think. You have to picture the destination very clearly to disapparate, and you have no sustained recollection anymore of the places you used to go. You remember silly things, slices of memories; the four of them laughing in a big green field, the sweet smell of hair oil to your left; the beige walls of a rented flat where you'd lay in bed for hours, sometimes days at a time, before things got too terrible to sleep; a string-lit garden that last summer, hands of poker on a glass table. These places aren't real anymore. You can't go back to them. 

Upon your request, Molly forwards you an address and a secret code. 

Trains, buses, trains again. A long walk through a cold street. Some secret this or that. You arrive in the night and a frowning face ushers you in, past a painting sealed away and up the creaking stairs. You spend hours sitting on the end of a bed coated in dust waiting for the sun to rise, your back stiff with nerves. You could slip out before anyone else knows you're here, it's not as if Moody would give you away. But why did you come, if you were going to run straight back to your outpost? 

You don't want Sirius’ betrayal to be true, of course. It took your breath away imagining what it would mean if he hadn't done what you thought. If it's all lies (as it seems to be), if he's innocent as he and Remus claim, it means you turned your back on him and left him to suffer, and he's still asking you to come home. 

A few people stir for breakfast. Molly, who's voice you remember, and some younger sounding ones that may be her children, or perhaps the newer Order recruits. Then comes Remus’ voice. He sounds different. Less Welsh, more tired. Homely anyways as he passes your door with someone beside him. 

“...any day now,” he's saying, “try not to worry.” 

“I do worry. I've worried about it every day for years.” 

You freeze up. 

The stairs creak, Remus’ voice moving further away. “She doesn't need worrying.” 

Sirius must stay at the top of the stairs for a moment. He sounds close. “I wouldn't know what she needs.” 

“Come have some breakfast.” 

“I'll write her again.” 

“After breakfast.” 

“What if she doesn't come?” 

“After breakfast,” Remus insists. “She can ignore you once we've had toast.” 

“I forgot how funny you are,” Sirius mutters. 

Hearing his voice fills you with doubt. He sounds nothing like he used to, no easy confidence to be heard, just fatigue. 

You look down at your hands. Hearing his voice has a new emotion sprouting, too. When you first learned what had happened to your friends, you felt anger like a knife everywhere you went. How could he do that to them? How could he do it to you, be that person, ruin everything you'd loved and made together? But later, when anger faded and grief ached, you'd missed the Sirius you loved. Shamefully, in longing pangs, you'd toss and turn to dreams where things were different. 

Now there's a chance he might still be that person, and you're hiding from him in his own house. 

“There's someone here,” Molly says as you leave your room, her voice nearly too quiet to hear from the kitchen. “Moody's told me this morning.” 

“What?” Arthur asks. 

“Who?” a younger voice says. 

A small intermission of quiet. “Well, I don't know,” Molly says eventually, though she must have guessed it was you from the letter you sent. “But I'll need another loaf of bread. You'd better go, boys.” 

“Mum,” one whines. 

“Come on now.” 

The stairs whimper as you descend, the bannister sticky with old gloss under your hand. Paisley wallpaper and drapes catch your eye as you pass the overflowing shoe rack. There must be more people here than you'd thought. The coat stand is similarly overloaded. 

You can see into the kitchen as soon as you take the last step down. Molly stands wringing a dish cloth between her hands, two teenage boys at the kitchen table. Remus stands near her right with a cup of tea, and when he sees you, he genuinely smiles. 

“Oh, good,” he says, the scar that bisects his lip pulling as he takes a sip of tea. 

The teenagers turn to see you. “Bread, boys! Arthur, you can go with them," Molly says.

Arthur doesn't complain. You falter in the hallway, quiet as the trio of Weasley's leave the kitchen in their slippers to take a quiet exit from the front door. They smile politely as they go, but the boys whisper as the door shuts behind them. You wonder if they have an inkling of who you are, and then you wonder what you might say now they're gone. 

Molly remains, inquisitive to know that you need privacy but also the security of her company. She was always smart like that.

“Come in, then,” Remus says. 

“I–” You clear your throat. “I'm not sure I should.” 

A startle of silverware against china. 

Remus gives you one of his looks. It has tears threatening to well. Why didn't I fight to see him more? you think. Suddenly years have passed and he's changed, but his reassuring glances remain. It's like he's saying everything is fine, why wouldn't everything be fine? Chin up, dove.

Sirius appears in the doorway. Dark circles beneath grey eyes, his cheeks gaunt with hunger rather than the sleek sharpness he once possessed. He's still pretty, if wounded. It's as though you've found an old photo of him that's been smudged with age. He's stepped out of one of your moulding albums to haunt you. 

“Angel,” he breathes, his hand clasped low on the doorway, “you're here.” 

You look past him to Molly and Remus. There isn't a reality nor dimension where they'd let him stay here if they didn't believe his innocence. Remus explained it all in the letter and still you worried if he might have gotten it wrong, and simply believed what he wanted to believe, but it's not possible. Remus loved James so much, he would've killed Sirius himself if he really thought Sirius was the secret keeper who betrayed them. 

So. It's a relief to be home. 

You stare at him. “You look tired,” you say quietly. 

“I'm fine. I am.” 

He seems alright, considering. You'd even say he was handsome with his hair pushed away from his face, a dark shadow of stubble around his mouth, but he looks exhausted.  

You're expecting him to say what you'd say. How could you ever think I'd do it? 

Sirius was prone to similar bouts of pride, or righteousness, justice, whatever you want to call it, but he doesn't bother with that now. He looks at you as though you're the only person on earth, gaze narrowed but eyes wide, pain between his brows as he asks, “What's wrong?” 

Your hand finches up to your cheek to wipe the sudden tear away. “I thought I'd never see you again.” Your Sirius. 

“Don't be upset,” he pleads. 

“How can I not be? I left you all alone for so long.” 

He laughs roughly. “Sweetheart, what were you supposed to do?” 

“Not just give up.” 

“You thought it was me. That's the only thing you could've done. Either of you,” he says, gesturing backward with his hand. “It was hard… to know who to trust, at the end. It's not your fault.” 

You really were only kids together, not half as in love as James and Lily, but that doesn't mean you weren't mad for each other. He looked after you. You would've had a life, you think. 

“You were just gone,” you say, looking down at the floor between you, eyes tracing lines of wood grain. “Everyone. There was nobody left. And I just let you go.” 

“Do you want to come here?” he asks. You lift your head. His hand is barely in front of him, fingers open, palm up. 

It's like taking a stranger's hand for the first few seconds. You keep them low between you both, unfamiliar to each other. But, you find, as his fingers wrap around yours in that selfish way they used to do, squeezing rather than intertwining to make all of them fit, he remembers you.

You step a little closer, your arm to his chest, and look up at him through your lashes. It would melt him like a candle near a furnace, this look. He'd be smug or seething about something and you'd sidle in to stand between his shoes, unsure of what to say but determined to be there for him. It's the same now.  

“What's wrong?” he asks under his breath. 

“I left you all alone,” you repeat. 

“It wasn't your choice, okay?” He smooths his free hand from your elbow to your upper arm. 

Molly says something to Remus. He chuckles and says something in return. Happier to admit it if it's only for Sirius’ ears, you say, “I'm really sorry, Sirius. I miss you every day.” 

“I miss you too,” he says. 

You push your arms around his waist and hide your face in his chest, feeling for the lines of who he used to be, the dip of his spine in his back or the soft cotton of one of his old t-shirts. You regret hugging him at all, until he puts his arm behind your head, a shaky breath released against your crown. 

I'm scared, he'd said. But I don't want you to be scared, okay? Barely twenty, he smelled of the sticky red powder on the end of matches after a night doing things he couldn't tell you about. You could tell him you loved him, and he you, but you weren't to discuss Order business. We'll be okay. 

But Lily–

Everyone's going to be fine. I promise. 

“You promised,” you say to yourself. Too quiet for him to hear, but he does. 

“I promised you so many things I'm not sure what one you mean,” he says with a disappointed laugh. 

You pull away, taking his face into two hands. “How do you feel?” you ask, ignoring the tremble working up from your wrists. 

“What?” His eyes are dark. 

“How are you? Did they– I mean, are you okay? Are you sick?” 

“Remus has patched me up. And Cordelia, the medwitch, you know her?” 

“I don't know anyone. I've been away.” 

He nods sadly. “Yeah. Well, you look the same.” 

“I don't.” 

“You do! You look the same,” —he almost sounds happy, his lips curling into a smile— “sweetheart. Sweetheart–” He closes his eyes. 

You push his hair behind his ears. “You don't look the same,” you confess, “you have wrinkles, right… here.” You touch the corners of his eyes. 

“You're still beautiful.” 

“Mm. You can't even see me.” 

“I don't need to see you. I knew you would be.” 

You rise up to kiss his cheek gently. “It's like you're back, like– like, I always felt like you were gone. And now you're home again. You are home, aren't you?” 

He covers your hand with one of his. “You're here, so–” 

You laugh together nervously. “Yeah, I'm here.” 

“I have stuff to do to make it right.” 

“Then we'll do it.” 

“Okay,” he says. He swallows a breath, and wraps you in a surprisingly tight hug. “Did you read my letters?” 

I don't want anything from you. Just to see you're okay. 

“I read them. I'm okay. Don't I look okay?” 

“You look perfect. Just like the last time I saw you,” he says. It startles you how suddenly he sounds like he did when you were young, his flirting drawl, voice velveteen. 

“Not like that,” you laugh. 

He pulls you as close as you can be, rough now, his arms solid around you. “I missed that,” he says, rubbing your back. “I forgot how you sound when you laugh.” 

You've led very different lives. “I didn't forget yours.” 

“You wouldn't. You love having things to hold against me.” 

You stroke his hair. “Maybe a little.” 

[starry-eyes-love]

Darlin', You're Beautiful

Pairing | Best Friend Joel Miller x Curvy F!Reader, AU (no outbreak)

Summary | After having been stood up from another date yet again, you went to the park with Joel Miller, your best friend, to hang out. You're lost in your own head, not believing that you're beautiful when Joel reminds you of where beauty truly lies, from within.

Warnings | 18+ Minors DNI, age gap (she's mid 20s, he's early 40s), reference to reader being curvy, language, self esteem issues and discussions, terms of endearment (honey, sugar, baby, darlin'), heavy kissing, sexual tension a bit, brief reference to smut, fluff.

Word Count:  2.6K

A/N: This one comes from a space that's been taking up my personal headspace for far too long. She’s a little emotional, but that’s ok. Remember, beauty comes from within. Enjoy :) 

Joel's words lingered in the air, “baby, I’ve wanted you for so fucking long,” he whispered, while slowly thrusting inside of you. He was giving you a gentle reminder that beauty, true beauty, was seen from inside a person's soul. 

Main Masterlist

Joel leaned back against the old oak tree in the park, the soft rustle of the leaves above him providing a calming backdrop. His heart was pounding in his chest, nerves taking root in his body. Man, she’s beautiful, the most beautiful woman I’ve ever known.  And you were, you were beautiful.  You were beautiful because you had a beautiful soul.  

For all of your life, you didn’t believe that you were beautiful.  Society had a specific version of what beauty was, and you felt like you never lived up to that expectation. You were not skinny with a flat stomach, you had a little bit of a tummy on you.  You were sitting in the park, watching the Texan sunset with your best friend, Joel Miller, and you were silently scolding yourself yet again. Your second date with a guy last night didn’t go as planned, the man never showed up.  Somehow once guys saw that you weren’t the super skinny woman with a big chest, they didn’t want to be with you, and they’d bail on you every chance that they had.  

Joel hated seeing you like this, berating and belittling yourself over not being what boys thought were beautiful.  And that's who you were attempting to date, boys.  Joel, being a man in his early 40s, saw women differently than what men in their 20s did.  You weren’t a baby in life, being in your mid 20s yourself, but the men that you attempted to date were.  They were too egotistical, caring more about getting laid and the final score at the end of the night than treating a woman with any real respect. 

So after sitting with his back against the tree for a bit, and taking in the beautiful Texan sunset, Joel tipped his baseball cap back slightly to look at your face. As he stared at you, he noticed that your once warm eyes that were full of life and happiness, now looked lost. Without giving it another thought, Joel opened his mouth and said the thing that he’s wanted to say to you for a long time. 

"Darlin', there's been somethin' on my mind that I wanted to tell ya," he stated, his voice heavy with that slow Southern drawl.

Glancing over at Joel with curiosity you said, “What is it, Joel?"

While grabbing a blade of grass and beginning to twirl it between his fingers, a nervous habit that he had, he said "well, sugar, I've been thinkin' a lot about the type of men that you’ve been tryin’ to date. And well honey, they’re just little boys. Little boys who think they know what’s right for a woman, but they don’t. They don’t know what’s right for ya.”

You told him “ok” in a voice that you didn't quite recognize as your own, one that was so meek and mild. You weren’t the girl who usually got down on herself so much. But recently it had been too much with being stood up on dates, or just being told no in the most embarrassing and rude way possible.  Usually a few situations like this wouldn’t bother you, but recently, it has become too much. 

Joel, shaking his head, looked back over at you and said “Darlin’, when are ya going to stop believin’ all the garbage these boys say, and start believin’ in something that matters?”

“What matters Joel, huh?” you said, straightening up and shooting him a dirty look with your eyes. This was not the conversation that you wanted to have right now, one that discussed your choices.  Yes, Joel was right, but you didn’t want to hear him say it right now.  You didn’t want him to rub your nose in the fact that you couldn’t seem to pick a good guy to go out with ever. 

“Ya gotta start believin’ it honey, that you’re beautiful, and not waiting on some dumbass guy to say it to you. Y/n, you are beautiful.” Joel said, looking at you tenderly, trying to communicate the feelings that he’s felt for you inside for a long time.

You just stared at Joel, pondering why he would go to this length to say this to you. In the last 5 years that the two of you have been friends, not once did Joel Miller ever say that you were beautiful.  It’s just not something that the two of you have ever talked about before. And if you were being honest, you wondered why now he chose to bring it up. 

"Joel, you're sweet. But come on, let's be real. I'm not exactly the definition of beautiful." you said, looking over at him.

Joel sighed, trying to make you understand what he saw. "You may not see it darlin’, but I do. I see it every time you smile with the way your eyes light up. Or the way you snort when you laugh, especially when you find something really funny. When you talk ‘bout things that you love, I see you open your heart up to the person you’re talkin’ to. Or even that cute little blush that ya get when you get embarrassed. Beauty isn't just about appearance darlin’; it's about the way you carry yourself, the kindness in your heart, and the way you make other people feel."

Shifting uncomfortably, clearly not used to receiving these types of compliments from anyone, but especially a man and your best friend. "Joel, you're exaggerating. I appreciate it, but I'm not the type of girl people describe as beautiful."

Joel once again shook his head. He wanted you to see what he saw, the beauty that you had within you. "That's where you're wrong darlin’. You have this unique charm that goes beyond what people think is beautiful. It's about you being genuine, and baby, you are as genuine as they come."

“Well, I’ve never felt like it.” You looked over at Joel with soft eyes, wanting to believe everything that he was saying to you.

“Well that’s what’s wrong darlin’. You are the best type of beauty possible.  Beauty of the soul. And baby, I can’t get enough of it if I’m being honest.”

“Joel, what are you- what are you saying?” you asked softly, with slight irritation in your voice at how in-depth this conversation has gone. 

Joel scooted closer to you, and tucked a loose strand of hair behind your ear. “I’m saying that it’s your uniqueness that makes you beautiful darlin’. That it’s something rare to find, that you’re something rare to find. And baby, I find you incredibly attractive because of it."

A soft blush tinted your cheeks at Joel saying that you were attractive. "Do you- do you really mean it?" you asked, trying not to get your hopes up, but secretly hoping Joel was flirting with you.  Sure, you two have been friends for five years, but you’ve secretly have had a crush on Joel Miller ever since the start of your friendship. You didn’t think he’d ever look at you the way that you hoped, that he wanted to be with you in the capacity of being ‘more than friends.’  You always thought that he liked women that didn’t have curves like you did. 

Joel looking at you with hooded eyes said, "Baby, I've spent enough time with ya to know that there's more to beauty than what meets the eye. It's about the way you make people feel, the way you make me feel.  That genuine kindness you show me and others. That’s what makes your truly beautiful darlin’."

A thoughtful silence hung between the two of you, as you absorbed his words. It wasn't that you didn't believe him. But when people, specifically other men, have made you feel less than beautiful for many years, it took its toll. You couldn’t help but slowly start to believe those inappropriate statements by others, when it was others that were constantly saying it to you that they didn’t find you beautiful or sexually attractive. 

"Joel, it's not that I don't appreciate your words, I do. It's just that, it's hard to change when other people are mean for so long, and where they have made me feel less than beautiful as a woman.”

Joel slowly nodded, understanding the depth of your silent struggle. After a moment he said, “I get that darlin'', I do, it's just that-” Joel found himself standing at the precipice of no return with you. After contemplating his choices, he decided to throw caution completely out of the window, and he decided to act on the feelings that he’s had with you for a long time.  Joel leaned forward and cupped your cheek, gently running his thumb up and down it. “If ya don't believe my words darlin'', then please believe this.” He then leaned forward and gently kissed you softly on the mouth.

What started out as a gentle, soft kiss quickly turned heated. You softly whimpered into his mouth when his one hand went to the back of your neck, that spurred something deep inside him. As soon as he heard you moan he took the kiss a step further and gently ran his tongue along the seam of your lips, asking you for access into your mouth. When you opened for him, he dove his tongue in and started a slow caress. Gentle and smooth strokes, back and forth, inside your mouth, against your tongue. You two were doing a slow dance of passion and love behind your kiss. Nothing rushed, just gentle exploration.

When you moaned into his mouth, that’s when caution once again completely went out the window. A switch inside of Joel had flipped, and his kissing became more heated. Joel gripped the back of your head in a firm hold and tilted your chin up so he could lean forward and deepen the kiss into your mouth. It was at this moment that you realized two very important things. One, Joel Miller was an excellent kisser. And two, you wanted to sleep with your best friend really bad.

As you pulled away, gasping for air, you heard Joel let out a low growl. When you looked over at him he had very dark eyes.  His pupils were blown wide, and the air around you two crackled with sexual tension.  Joel moved back towards you and started kissing down your neck, nipping and biting over your pulse points and the areas of your neck that he knew were your most sensitive zones. “No one's ever kissed me like that before” you said, while moaning softly at what Joel was doing.

“That's a damn shame darlin''. A beautiful woman like yourself should be kissed like that all the goddamn time.” He said while sucking on your neck and then running his tongue over the love bite that he just made to soothe it. 

“I want more” you gasped, moaning again at Joel’s minstrations on your neck.

“Good, you should want more.” He said, moving to the other side of your neck and continuing his exploration. Joel was trying to find out what made you moan, squirm, and call out to him; making sure to keep doing that to intensify what he wanted to do again, and that was kiss you once again. He wanted to make sure that you knew without a doubt what he felt for you, and that any real man would know how to make a woman feel beautiful.  And goddamn, you were hot as hell and so sexy that he barely could think straight. 

With a slight smile, you gently shook your head while pulling away from him and finally admitting out loud to him, the thing that has been your biggest secret. “No Joel, I want more from you, with you. I have for a very long time.” You then reached out and gently cupped Joel’s cheek, running your thumb over his patchy beard. 

Joel looked at you with intense eyes, heart pounding hard and fast in his chest at the realization of what you were asking. Finally, after all these years you wanted him the same way that he wanted you. When you two first started hanging out he didn’t think you’d like him in a boyfriend type of way, as all your interactions were more based on friendship than anything else.  Now he felt stupid, hooking up with random women periodically over the years, having you play wingman with him at the bar, thinking that you never wanted more. I’m not gonna fuck this up anymore with her, he thought, focusing on showing you what he wanted.

Joel leaned forward and gently whispered in your ear, “well darlin’, why didn't ya say something. How ‘bout this, I take ya back to my house and show you what a real man does to make a woman feel so fucking sexy. Would you like that baby, for me to show you?”

When Joel pulled back to look at you he saw that you eagerly shook your head yes for him.  He tsked at you while resting his forehead against yours and said with his eyes closed, “Now come on baby, ya know better than that. Use your words, darlin’ tell me what ya want, please.”

When Joel pulled away from you gently, you nodded your head and then leaned in. Your mouth was right next to his ear when you gently whispered “fuck me Joel, that’s what I want. I want this, I want you. Help me forget about all those other men.”

Joel's eyes glazed over at your admittance. Pulling back he whispered “filthy girl” but then gave his own head a little nod, telling you that he understood what you wanted.  When Joel stood up, he reached out to help you up.  As the two of you walked back to his truck, he laced his hand into yours, showing you how much he actually cared. Once inside his truck, Joel kissed you passionately yet again, telling you with his actions of what he intended to do with you when he got back home. As he pulled away he then ran his hand through your hair for a moment, enjoying the quiet intimacy that was present.

 “I'm gonna treat ya right baby, the way you should’ve been treated all along. My only wish is that I wish I would've done this a lot sooner. For that honey, I’m really sorry.” And with that admittance Joel gave you another tender kiss on your lips. Once he settled into the driver's seat of his truck, you silently reached over and took his hand in yours. The 30 minute drive back to his house was done in silence.  But this silence for once wasn’t awkward, nothing with Joel ever was. You didn't know why you didn't see any of this feelings before, but now you were glad that the two of you communicated.

As the sun faded and dipped below the horizon, two souls were intertwined and connected. Joel's words lingered in the air, “baby, I’ve wanted you for so fucking long,” he whispered, while slowly thrusting inside of you. He was giving you a gentle reminder that beauty, true beauty, was seen from inside a person's soul. Joel spent the rest of his life, and yours, reminding you of this. And with each reminder it always ended the same way, you two wrapped up into each other’s arms. He told you each and every day how much he loved you, both inside and out, with saying just one simple sentence, “Darlin’, you’re beautiful.”  And you were, you were beautiful both inside out. Not because a man told you, but because you finally started to believe it yourself. 

The End

Taglist: @punkshort @shotgun-shelby @strawbunnyx @orcasoul @pedritoferg @chiogarza @jesfreedark @untamedheart81 @rainbow12346 @nandan11 @swiftpascal @eliza-8 @joeldjarin @vickie5446 @nastiasnow @staywildflowahchild @ratoonstown @l3laze @its-always-420-on-the-moon @kirsteng42

[bloodynereid]

Hi, Jordan Li fan here again! Could you maybe write an angst/comfort fic where (preferably gender neutral) reader really likes Jordan, but because Jordan and Marie have been getting closer they’re scared to confess? So they try to distance themselves from Jordan and eventually the secret comes out? Bonus points if there’s some sort of panic attack + comfort in there :). Again, completely understand if not, no pressure. Have the best day!!

Whiskey in the Shadows

pairing: jordan li x gender neutral reader

tw: cursing, alcohol consumption, mentions of suicide, death, canon typical violence ish, panic attack, kissing

description: jealousy is a rather stupid emotion that unfortunately you have to contend with.

a/n: hope you enjoy this one <33 i literally wrote it out in like less than an hour and i'm actually happy with the result so yayyy. requests are open as always and yeah don't have much else to say.

Life at God U was something you had to adjust to over the years. It was completely different from the time you spent in high school but it definitely felt way better to be surrounded by supes, not just humans who constantly pushed you away because you were ‘different’. A plus was definitely being in the top 10, which meant you had extra privileges the other students didn’t have. One was your friend group.

You first met Luke in the first week of school. You were both taking the same mandatory intro to marketing seminar and were paired up together to make a sales pitch for a product that could combine both of your powers. God, that day was almost as vivid as if you were living it right now.

“Hi.” You jumped slightly and looked up from your notes to see a tall blonde guy standing in front of your spot. 

“Uh hi.”

“You want to be my partner?” You scanned the room and saw that everyone had already paired up.

“Sure, I’m Y/N.”

“Nice to meet you, I’m Luke.” He was about to set down his bag when he realized the mess that surrounded you was going to make that difficult.

“Right, shit. Let me get this out of the way.” You quickly took all the multicolored folders from the spot next to you and shoved them into your bag, Luke pulled out the chair and sat down next to you before pulling out a notebook.

“Why the fuck do you have so many folders?” Luke said as he watched you struggle to organize them in alphabetical order.

“This class is bullshit so I mostly spend time catching up on outside projects.” You say as you are finally able to fix all your folders and turn towards Luke who has an incredulous look on his face.

“Jesus, I guess I picked the right partner then.”

“Oh don’t count on me doing all the work.”

“I wouldn’t dare.” He said with a smirk before he started to rattle off ideas of what your pitch could be.

From that moment on you two had become instant friends, eventually your little group expanded to include Luke’s girlfriend, Cate, who was probably the nicest person you had ever met. Then Andre, a legacy who didn’t actually act like it. Jordan was the last to join and all of it happened during one of your many sparring sessions with Luke.

“Ok come on you have got to be cheating!” Luke complained as you once again pinned him down on the soft mat. Your little spar was gathering some attention because the boxing ring was now crowded with supes holding up phones.

“Nope. I’m just better than you. Oh shit.” Luke took advantage of your distraction to grab your shoulder and flip you around so you landed hard against the mat.

“I win.”

“Fuck you.” You bit out before you used your powers to wrap and twist shadows around Luke’s wrists so he tumbled down next to you.

“Ok now that’s cheating.”

“We never said no powers.”

“It’s an unspoken rule!” Luke exclaimed but he had a big smile on his face as you offered a hand to him after jumping up from your own spot.

“Truce?”

“Truce.” Luke said as he smirked and grabbed your arm, allowing you to pull him up. The crowd around the ring started dispersing as you climbed out through the ropes.

“That was pretty fucking badass.” Came a voice from one of the few remaining spectators, you expected their voice to be focused on Luke but their intense stare was pinned on you.

“Why thank you. Luke’s an easy one to beat.”

“Hey!” Luke exclaimed in indignation as he jumped down next to you and threw you one of the spare water bottles he had. You grabbed it with one of your shadows and screwed open the cap.

“I’m Jordan.”

“Nice to meet you Jordan, I’m Y/N and this is Luke as you already know.”

“Hey.” Luke said as he did some kind of military salute.

“So what are your powers?” You asked when suddenly Jordan shifted in front of you. “Holy shit.”

“Yeah…”

“That’s fucking awesome.” Luke said as he finished taking a long drag of the water bottle.

“If you’re ever up for a spar come find me.” You said as you checked the time on your phone and realized you were going to be late for class. “We have to go but it was great to meet you Jordan.”

“You too.” They said with a smile as you and Luke grabbed your bags from the floor. You waved as you went your separate ways.

“Someone has a crushhhh.” Luke said with a sing-song voice when he realized you were still staring at Jordan’s retreating back.

“Fuck off.” You said as you slapped his shoulder, making a booming laugh explode out of Luke.

Somehow you had managed to keep your crush on Jordan secret when you all reached junior year. Luke was the only one who knew and he constantly teased you about the situation, any time you stumbled over your words or got flustered in front of them. It just seemed harder and harder over the years to actually confess to Jordan. They had gotten so damn confident and like a thousand times more attractive - which is something you didn’t think was possible.

Everything sort of started to fall apart in your life the first days of junior year. It was like the universe decided to throw a wrench in your stableish life. Incident 1: Andre nearly kills a woman in the club you like to frequent. Incident 2: Luke’s nightmares get worse and he keeps having to bunk in your room because for some fucking reason he’s getting suspicious of Cate. Incident 3: Jordan is making heart eyes to someone who is not you. (not that you don’t like Marie but that was the problem, she was too damn perfect) Incident 4: Luke kills himself…

It was like your world was torn apart in the space of half an hour. Your best friend, who you considered a platonic soulmate and brother, killed Brink and then himself right in front of you. The last thing you said to him was that you loved him. Right after he hugged you as tight as humanly possible before flying off to his doom. He was fucking Icarus in that moment.

Incident 5: Luke has a brother, who’s somehow stuck in a fucking underground experimental facility in the school. Incident 6: Brink’s memorial gala…

You carefully adjusted the all-black suit embroidered with shiny black vines that you had gotten in preparation for Luke’s birthday… something that wasn’t even going to happen this year or any year for that matter. Fuck, not the time to cry. You mentally chidded yourself before assessing your look one last time in the mirror before making your way out of your dorm.

You really fucking hoped you wouldn’t run into Jordan tonight. It was getting harder to be around them… every time you saw them, they either started ranting about why Marie was around so much (you almost hoped they actually hated her for a second there but there was a certain spark in Jordan’s eyes whenever they spoke about Marie) or well yeah more complaining about Marie.

You had taken to spending more time alone, you still had a bad feeling about Cate and Andre spent most of his time with Cate so that left alone time as your only option. It had started taking a toll on you though. Mourning wasn’t exactly your strong suit. 

You stepped into the decorated hall and cringed at all the posters with Brink. You knew he was a good man but… Luke wasn’t fucking crazy. You had been trying to help him for months, he had a reason to do it and you were going to try to find his brother… as soon as this damn gala was over.

You picked one of the champagnes off of a random waiter’s tray and quirked your lips up. Time to put on a real fucking show.

The next hour was spent mingling and chatting up potential sponsors. They all seemed hesitant to even speak to you because they knew how close you and Luke were but you reassured them that it was nothing to worry about. The Vought PR lines left a sour taste in your mouth that by the end of the hour you were itching for something stronger than champagne.

Once you were sure that the bartender was looking the other way you extended one of your shadows and snatched up one of the good whiskey bottles off the shelf and into your hand. You fucking loved your powers so much sometimes. Happy with your little prize a genuine smile made its way onto your face. Only to fall when you saw Jordan directly talking to Marie. They were smiling softly at each other, making a knot form in your stomach.

You hadn’t cried since Luke. All that had managed to come out of your eyes was a single measly fucking tear right before blood rained down from the heavens. But it seemed like Jordan’s moment with Marie was your fucking breaking point.

A sob threatened to force its way out of your throat as you hurried towards one of the alcoves that you knew this damn place had. What you didn’t notice was the way a pair of brown eyes followed your rushed movements. The second you were cocooned in your shadows was the moment that the tears slowed and a hiccup left your throat.

Safe. Safe. Safe.

“Y/N? Look I know you’re in there. I know your shadows when I see them.” The distinct voice of Jordan Li permeated your little hideout, disturbing the peace that you had somehow been able to culminate.

“Fuck off.” You said in a strained tone, tears were threatening to force their way out of your eyes once more so you opened the bottle and took a long swig of burning whisky.

“Y/N… is this about Luke? Shit- I haven’t even talked to you- I’m so sorry.” Those last few words made the stupid little resolve you had left deplete so you waved your hand and the shadows parted like curtains exposing Jordan’s ethereal face which looked incredibly apologetic. She climbed into your alcove as you closed the shadows back up.

“It’s fine, Jord. You had your own shit to deal with.”

“No, it’s not fine. You- you’ve been listening to me rant about Marie and I didn’t even ask if you were okay. I’m a shitty friend.” A resounding pang echoed through your heart at the word friend. Fuck. Another swig of the fancy whiskey.

“It’s not about that Jord, I’m really fine.”

“You’re drinking whiskey… you only do that when you’re stressed and/or depressed.” It almost hurts to realize how much Jordan actually knows you.

“It’s not that Jordan.”

“Then what is it?!” Jordan almost yells, probably exasperated by your perceived stubbornness.

“I fucking like you okay? I’ve been in love with you for fucking I don’t know how long. So can you please just fuck off and leave me alone.” You yelled out, only realizing after you finished speaking what you had just said. Oh. Oh no. A familiar panic started to seize your chest. Shit, they were going to reject you. Shit. Shit. Shit. You could almost feel yourself drifting off to join your shadows when warm hands gently got a hold of you.

“Y/N, Y/N. Listen to me, you have to breathe. You have to breathe with me. Come on. No passing out on me tonight. You didn’t even hear what I was going to say. Hey.” Your breathing started to slow down as you listened to Jordan’s calming voice. They were slowly bringing you back to earth as their hands rubbed against the material of the suit, creating a calming pressure. 

“Sorry about that.” When Jordan realized I was calming down I saw a quirk of a smile appear on their face, her eyes twinkled in the dark with an intensity I had gotten familiar with over the years.

“You don’t have to be sorry at all. You get those often?”

“More now than before. I’m really fucking sorry, let’s just forget I sa-”

“No, nope. No take backsies. How the fuck did you think I didn’t like you, no wait sorry, love you back?”

“I-umm” You stuttered out as you looked at Jordan in awe. They loved you back. Holy fucking shit.

“Who came up to who first? I’ve wanted to ask you out on a date for years.”

“And why didn’t you?” You said as Jordan smirked at your renewed confidence.

“Because you are wayyy out of my league. I mean you are like the most incredible being to grace the Earth.”

“Ok now you’re exaggerating things, Jord.”

“No I’m not. I can’t believe you didn’t realize I wasn’t totally gone for you before.” You let the giddy feeling of love spread through your extremities when a realization made you stop short.

“What about Marie?”

“Marie? What are you talking about?”

“You’re like-” You made wavy motions with your hands that had Jordan’s laugh resonating against the shadows, butterflies fluttering in your stomach as you watched them.

“Oh fuck, you are too funny, love. No, me and Marie are not-” Jordan repeated the wavy motions you had just done which made you smack her playfully. The movement had you shuffling closer to Jordan so now your faces seemed like they were only millimeters apart.

“Fuck.” You uttered under your breath as your nose skimmed against Jordan’s.

“Fuck is right. Can I- I umm really want to kiss you right now.”

“What are you waiting for?” You answered just as Jordan surged forward and your lips met in an explosion of sensations. You felt your shadows jump and play around you excitedly as you pulled Jordan impossibly closer by threading your fingers in their oh so soft hair. That decision rewarded you with a little whine from Jordan that had warmth spreading over your body once again.

Reluctantly pulling away you rested your forehead against Jordan’s as they smiled giddily up at you. Her eyes sparkled in the darkness and you smoothed the pads of your fingers against their cheek.

“Hi.”

“Hi.”

“I really fucking love you.” You said as you looked into those brown eyes that looked just like the perfect cup of coffee. Inviting, warm and absolutely enthralling.

“I love you more.” 

“Always a competition with you Jordan.” You said with a chuckle, making Jordan laugh in response.

“Well you should have known what you were signing on for when you fell in love with me.”

“I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

so... reader's powers in this one are known as darkness manipulation which are sort of like the darkling's powers from shadow & bone (they're suit for the gala is literally directly inspired by the darkling's kefta lol) also here's the link to the superpower wiki page if anyone's interested.

[shy-urban-hobbit]

“I mean, you’ve got to feel a little sorry for them really haven’t you?” Jaskier said from where he was mopping up the last of the evidence of the half dead rat Roach had thoughtfully decided to gift them (the first time it happened he’d shrieked in surprise before Geralt put it out of its misery with a matter of fact “Welcome to country living, city boy”). Geralt gave a non committal hum from where he was warming milk up for Ciri on the stove. The little girl sat colouring at the large kitchen table - too large for two, but that would change when Geralt’s brothers and any guests they decided to bring descended on them.

“I mean they’re just minding their own business like, Oh I’m a hungry rat. Please don’t kill me.” Here Jaskier put on a slightly squeaky voice and held up his hands in imitation of paws, still holding onto the mop, “And then wham one of the last things they see is Roach’s teeth coming towards them. So many teeth.” He gave the resident farm cat a critical stare and received a dismissive tail flick in response.

Ciri giggled at his antics which caused him to grin back at her in return. It always felt like a special sort of personal victory when he managed to coax a laugh out of the little girl.

Despite being together for six months, he was still being introduced to her as her father’s ‘friend’ (which was true enough, they wouldn’t be dating if they didn’t get along) and Jaskier was happy to go along with it. Geralt had explained without revealing too much that the little one had been let down by too many adults in her life already, himself included, and ‘boyfriend’ was maybe just a little too official sounding for the time being (and if he said his heart hadn’t broken a little for the five year old smiling at him from Geralt’s phone, he’d by lying), especially after the shit that had gone down with his ex. Geralt hadn’t gone into detail but from what Jaskier had gathered, the woman had had a hidden agenda in wanting to get back with Geralt and Ciri had almost gotten seriously hurt as a result. Geralt had blamed himself for jumping back into the relationship too quickly and so, any potential partners now had to pass what Jaskier had dubbed ‘The Ciri test’.  

He liked to think he’d passed the first portion with flying colours, the tiny blonde seeming perfectly comfortable with him in public places. Now they were dipping their toes into Jaskier staying in their home for longer periods, with Jaskier having graduated from the guest bedroom to sharing with Geralt the previous visit (the brunette wanting the ground to swallow him up when she happily informed her Uncle Eskel of ‘Daddy’s sleepover’ when the man had dropped by unexpectedly the following morning. Geralt had just shrugged and told him to be thankful it hadn’t been Lambert; who could and would, happily take the piss forever).

“Alright Ciri, put your things away and then go get your bedtime book. I’ll be in in a minute.” Geralt said, pouring the warm milk into a plastic My Little Pony cup.

“I want Jask.” Ciri declared form where she was trying to force the crayons back into their box by the (relatively small) handful, Causing both adults to stop what they’d been doing and stare at one another. This was new.

“You sure you don’t want daddy?” Jaskier asked, looking to Geralt for some sign as to what he should do.

“You do better funny voices. Daddy’s all sound the same.”

It took everything Jaskier had not to burst out laughing at that as he took in the minute eye twitch from the other man at that statement, “Geralt?”

Geralt nodded, “Mind if I stay and listen? You know how much I love The Gruffalo.”

Jaskier snorted and felt a surge of fondness. The lies we tell for our children.

It ended up being a joint effort, with Geralt guest starring as The Gruffalo “On account of you being so, well...gruff.” and admitting to a slightly too smug looking Jaskier and a mostly asleep Ciri that “Yes, Jaskier does better voices for everyone else. Especially Mouse.”

"Everything ok? You’ve gone all quiet on me.” Jaskier said from where he had his head in Geralt’s lap as they watched some mindless Netflix show. “I didn’t overstep did I?” He was suddenly frantic, his anxieties bubbling back up to the surface now that he didn’t have a performance and an audience to focus on, “I know you probably just said yes so things wouldn’t be awkward. I probably should have told her no and come up with an excuse but how can anybody say no to that face-“

“Jaskier. It’s fine, honestly.” Geralt said, rubbing his hands up and down Jaskier’s arm in a way he knew calmed him, “I’ve built up something of an immunity to Ciri’s puppy eyes. I would’ve said no if I had a problem with it. I’m just thinking.”

“About?”

“About how I might have a question for Ciri.”

The next morning saw Jaskier seeing both of them off with a hug (also accompanied by fishing a stray cheerio out of Ciri’s hair which he had been too tired to question) before heading back to his city apartment and his job as a music tutor.

“Ciri?” Geralt asked, putting her school backpack by the door as he knelt down to help her button up her coat, “You know how Aiden is Uncle Lambert’s boyfriend?"

It had slowly been killing Jaskier not to check his phone as soon as the text notification came through but he was nothing if not professional and he would not check his phone when he was in the middle of a lesson. Thank the Gods he did wait as he was prettu sure he gave his retreating student a minor heart attack with the squeal he let out at Geralt’s message:

‘Ciri has been proudly announcing to her classmates this morning that Jaskier is her daddy’s boyfriend. Much disappointment from the single mums.’

[upthebluess]

Up to Standards P2 (Arsenal Girls Academy Story)

The time between your last game with Fulham and your Arsenal signing day seemed to pass painfully slow.

You weren’t the best with new places, or new people, or new coaches. You didn’t like the change, especially when it’s unnecessary.

However, regardless of your own dread, signing day did eventually arrive and before you knew it, you were sat in the car park of London Conley. Your mum had tried to convince you it’d be ok, but you just didn’t want to leave your childhood club.

You probably seemed ungrateful to anyone else. Most footballers would be nothing but thrilled to sign for a top club like arsenal. But you just missed your teammates. The teammates you’d been playing with since U9s.

You said goodbye to your mother with a sigh and walked into reception. Immediately you were met with bright red walls and framed posters of arsenal academy graduates plastered across them.

The receptionist cleared her throat to pull your attention from the decoration, and you made your way over to her. “Name and age group please?” She was polite, but seemed to be rushing you for no reason at all.

“Y/N Y/L/N, U16s” you quickly responded, following the ladies efficient attitude.

“Ok Y/N, your coach will come collect you shortly. Take a seat.” She gestured to the seats behind you.

There were a few other people sat in the room, but most of them with parents or guardians. That didn’t really bother you though, your parents had to get food on the table and working long hours was the way to do that.

You allowed your eyes to wonder around the room, scanning the frames that clung neatly to the walls.

You were interrupted. “Y/N Y/L/N?” A tall brunette man stood in a doorway on the opposite side of the room. He was around 40, wearing arsenals new black training gear and had his hair scraped back with a little too much gel.

He introduced himself right away “Peter Robinson, pleasure to have you here”. He put his hand out for you to shake.

“Pleasure to be here.” You retorted and shook his hand. Although, you had lied. It wasn’t pleasant to be there.

He lead you through an array of hallways, explaining how thrilled they were to have snatched you up and that he expected you’d fit right in to a ‘lovely group of girls’.

Eventually, you arrived at a room which contained only a brown desk, a camera man and a large golden arsenal crest which hung proudly behind the desk chair.

On the desk, sat a single piece of paper and a fancy golden pen. You temporarily exchanged small talk with the camera man until Peter took a seat next to you. He begun to briefly explain the contract and the opportunities that would come with it.

“It would be awkward if you said no now, but i have to ask. Are you happy to sign it?”

“Of course.” Once again, a lie. You weren’t happy to sign it but it was the correct route for you to take if you wanted to reach the WSL one day.

You picked up the heavily weighted pen and placed it on the dotted line. You looked up to the camera and smiled, with Peter resting a welcoming hand on your shoulder.

Click.

Peter then removed himself from the frame to allow you a picture of your own.

Click.

Much to your surprise, as you actually went to sign your name, you were overcome with a sense of pride and contentment. Despite missing your old club, it was a huge achievement to be here, and all you could do now was accept it.

The rest of the day at Arsenal consisted of you being shown around the facilities, which you noted were drastically more prestigious than Fulham’s, and being given your kit.

You had it all, from match shirts, to water bottles, to trainers to boots. They really had provided it all. You’d also received your number for the season.

Number 8. At least you got to bring one thing with you from Fulham, your childhood number.

“Thank you” you said gently as Peter bagged the last of your things up.

“Of course, Y/N. Now before you go, I just want to let you know that there’s no need for any extra pressure on those shoulders of yours. We know you’ll probably be aware that we offered your old club money for your transfer here. This is simply because we believe we can offer your best possible resources in order to develop you as a player to the very top. Just play as we know you can and we’ll have no problems.” Peters said this out of kindness, but only really sparked your ambition further.

You had to prove to him you were worth it.

“Thank you. I will”.

“See you tomorrow, kid. You got a lift home?” Peter turned to look out the window which was being pelted with rain, the English weather giving the pitch-caters a run for their money.

“Yeah, my mum is picking me up.”

And that was that. You were officially a gunner.

Contrasting the way you went in, you left London Conley with high hopes for your future there, and actually felt excited about returning the next day.

On the way home, you spoke to your mum about making a positive reputation for yourself on the media. Most academy players your age had sponsors and managers. You had neither.

You decided to start with a professional instagram, as well as your personal one. Then tomorrow, you and your family would begin to reach out to agents who could hopefully catch you up to the level everyone else was at.

A/N

Hi everyone. Are people invested in this story or just the other one? Pls let me know 😊

[ryusuisloveinterest]

Hi! Since it's almost Christmas, could you write headcanons of how Ryusui, Senku, Stanley and Tsukasa would spend Christmas with their s/o (fem or gn reader) and their family (their children or the reader's family).

Bye and thank you for the 2 last requests !

This is so late I’m so sorry I’ve been very busy with finals! I tried to include reader’s family as best as I could do I hope you enjoy. If it’s not what you were looking for then you can always ask again. Thank you for your patience 💕💕

Ryusui, Senku, Stanley, and Tsukasa’s Christmas with their s/o🎄❤️

Ryusui:

he probably thinks Christmas is all about the presents

So on Christmas Day there will probably be trucks full of gifts, all for you! Please there’s no reason for him to have that much money

BUT-

You have to teach him that there are other things to enjoy other than just a pile of presents

The first time he watched a Christmas movie with you and your is DEFINITELY a core memory for him

Your matching pajamas, the way you snuggle into him and sharing the hot chocolate you prepared, the echo of your laugh filling his ears, and at the very end how you kiss him and thank him for spending Christmas with you

He completely melts

He’s so in love, he just wants moments with you like this all the time.

The only Christmases he remembers are just his dad and uncle basically throwing him into a room full of gifts and leaving for a Christmas vacation somewhere 

So having genuine time with you and your family and sharing your love with each other makes him so happy he might even tear up a bit my poor baby😭

Now it’s tradition for the both of  you to do something like that every year❤️

Senku:

He spends it in the lab 💀 

You have to drag him out of there

You have to BEG him to back cookies with you

“Come on Senku! Please! It’s like chemistry, we have to mix a bunch of stuff together!”

After 30 minutes of begging he finally caved

Of course Senku knows all the perfect measurements to everything so the only thing you really had to do was mix the ingredients together

Your mom and dad did keep him busy with random conversations though

In the living room you can hear them whispering about something but you don’t know what

The cookies tasted great!

After you both said goodbye to your family and your mom hugged the crap outta him you both headed back home.

“You don’t have to stay, Senku. I’m ok with you going back to the lab. I just wanted to spend time with you…”

And with that he leaves-

You sit in the living room, bummed out that Senku left again

THEN

Senku comes back with a small box and a huge blush

“Here…”

You were super shocked when you opened it up 

“Senku…this ring, it’s platinum right? You didn’t really…”

“It’s what the old man would’ve wanted. And…it’s what I want too…” 

Was he really..?

You started to cry

Senku didn’t know what to do 

You just held each other and told each other how much you loved one another, excited about the future with each other 

Stanley:

Stanley was on a mission during Christmas

So, Xeno invited you and your family to a Christmas party he and his colleagues were hosting

You really didn’t want to go, especially since you wouldn’t know anyone and Stanley wasn’t with you

But Xeno was still your friend so you decided to show up for him

You and your relatives stand there awkwardly in one of the door frames as Xeno and his colleagues talk about whatever project they were working on

You dad and mom go find some of the snacks and your siblings (if you have any) go causing trouble somewhere

There you were by yourself in the corner

“You look lonely over here under the mistletoe Miss. May i accompany you?”

You knew that voice 

You look up to see your boyfriend 

“Stanley!”

You practically jump on him, wrapping your small arms around his much bigger body

He pets your hair, then lifts your  chin

“We’re still under the mistletoe.” 

You smile at his cheesy gesture something he doesn’t normally do 

You both lean closer together and kiss, desperately clinging to each other like you’re both afraid to let go

“Oh! Is this your boyfriend (y/n)?” 

Your lips immediately leave Stanley’s as you see your whole family just staring at you and Stanley under the mistletoe 

You face turns red instantly causing Stanley to laugh

He sticks his hand out for your family

“My name is Stanley Snyder. It’s an honor to finally meet you all.”

Tsukasa 

You had a gingerbread house competition 

Your mother was the judge

You and Mirai were a team 

Tsukasa and your dad were the other

Tsukasa was struggling making the designs in the roof

Your dad couldn’t get the gum drops to stick

But you and Mirai had a great time with the gumdrops and candy canes, sprinkling them everywhere!

After your major victory Mirai wanted to play with her dolls 

So you and Tsukasa sat on the couch, snuggling up next to each other while your mom kept Mirai entertained 

“Do you want kids?” 

Your head pops up with the sudden question

He locks his eyes with yours, patiently waiting for your response 

A soft smile grows on your face 

“Of course I do!” 

This leaves Tsukasa heart-struck

He kisses your forehead, his favorite way of showing his love for you

You can hear Mirai’s ewws, making both of you laugh

“No sex before marriage!” Your dad yells from the kitchen 

“Dad!” 

[thebeast-dennis-etcetera]

Omg imagine Gibbs bringing your toddler to meet new born baby in the hospital and daddy Gibbs

Love at First Sight

To say you were exhausted was an understatement but the entire delivery process went smoothly, gifting you a healthy baby girl and for that you were grateful. Jethro didn’t leave your side for a second even though he was in the middle of a case and held your hand the entire time, not even flinching when you thought you had crushed every one of his fingers.

“You did so great sweetheart,” Jethro praised, holding your face and planting a gentle kiss on your lips. You smiled tiredly back at him.

While the nurses had taken your newborn to clean her up and do a vital check, Jethro had asked Torres to pick up your son from preschool so he could meet his new sibling.

“Do you think he’ll get jealous?” you asked your husband in worry. The last thing you would want was your son thinking they didn’t love him as much as his sibling.

“I think he’ll love her honey, don’t worry.”

Your son did seem really excited about it all when you were pregnant. He loved laying next to you with his head on your tummy so that he could feel her kick and would sometimes talk to her like Jethro did at night, telling her about his day.

As you lied in the hospital bed and took a breath, Jethro called his dad to tell him the news.

“Yeah, beautiful 8 pound girl…maybe once the dust has settled, you can come out for a visit…I’m sure she’ll love that…alright, goodbye dad.”

As soon as he hung up, he was on the phone again, this time with his team. They talked a bit about their current case before the nurse walked back in with your baby girl.

“Alright, keep me posted DiNozzo,” he finished before hanging up and coming back over.

“Alright, everything looks great, she’s perfectly healthy,” the nurse assured, placing her in your arms, now adorning a cute pink beanie.

“She looks just like you,” your husband said as she opened her eyes to look at the two of you. Her eyes and hair were brown like yours but the facial expression she was making was all Jethro-like.

“Knock knock,” you heard Torres say from the door as he walked in with your son. Jethro went over, picking him up as Torres gave him a congratulatory hand shake. He then walked over and very carefully placed your son on your bed.

“Do you want to hold her?” you asked him as he stared in awe. He just nodded his head so you brought her closer, still supporting her head and body so he could touch her. Your heart melted when he draped his little arm over her and leaned in to rest his cheek against hers. They were gonna be inseparable, you just knew it.

You looked up at Jethro with happy tears in your eyes as he smiled and rubbing your back lovingly. You let your son hold her a little longer before she began getting fussy.

“I think she’s a little hungry honey. Why don’t you go with daddy and get some pudding while I feed her ok?”

“Ok.”

He reached his arms out for Jethro who scooped him up and carried him upside down, making him cry out in laughter.

“We’ll be right back,” he said, giving you and his little girl a kiss on the head before leaving, tickling your son the whole way.

[don-daygamerz]

Long Way For Love

Ben Barnes x Reader

Requested by: @marimorena06

Request: Heyy!What about a friends to lovers with ben Barnes? ❤

Warnings: some swearing (I think), descriptions of intimacy (not smut just major fluff)

Word count: 4.4K

Italics - thoughts

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Love occurs in many ways. It can happen on the brightest days or the stormiest nights. It can happen on purpose or by accident. It can even happen through gain or loss. Love is a powerful and enigmatic feeling. It can either build you or destroy you. But did you know that love can sometimes not happen instantly? Yeah…Love can take its sweet time to even be realized. That’s what this story is about. And it began with a young man and a young woman.

The young man was named Benjamin Thomas Barnes but Ben Barnes in short. Catchy right? (It even made the woman blush just thinking about it) And our young fair maiden who would soon be the object of Ben’s affections was none other than (Name) (Middle name) (Surname). Ben had thought to himself of what a sweet name she had…beautiful, actually. The two first met on the set of ‘The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian’. (Name) was an aspiring actress and had landed the role of Selene, sorceress, and protector of Narnia. The two instantly connected and were a great support to one another.

They immediately became fast friends and were happy to share some interests and acting tips through their experiences. Ben was always happy to share with (Name) their love of literature, the classics, art, music, poetry, and so much more.

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“So you’re telling me you lied about knowing how to horse ride?” (Name) gave him a shocked but inquisitive look after hearing his confession. The man in question became bashful and wanted the couch he was sitting on to swallow him whole. Why did he have to tell the pretty girl he lied about being a pro at horse riding?

“I wouldn’t say I lied…”

“Oh boy…ha ha ha…I’d like to hear this,” (Name) chuckled at her companion. She needed to hear his hilarious excuse as to what made him think he could get away with such a ‘dark’ secret.

“Ok, ok. Shush…Don’t you want to hear the actual truth?” he asked her.

“You’re right. My apologies, your highness. I did not mean to disrespect you in the slightest,” she said to him in her best posh British accent while giving a mock bow. Which was not bad at all. (Name) was not only an aspiring actress but also dabbled in some voice acting. That was one of the things that fascinated Ben. She was so talented.

After her little antic, Ben could not help but playfully roll his eyes at her. “Anyway…As I was saying,” he continued, “I did not exactly lie…exaggerate is more like it…”

“Oh yeah! You sure did exaggerate it! Ha ha! You basically preached it is what I was told when you did the auditions, ha ha ha!” Ben’s face turned red hearing her say this but he couldn’t stop the smile growing on his face. He thought her laugh was cute and funny…wait, did hear a snort?

“Alright, then when was the last time you rode?”

“Umm… Last I rode a horse was when I was little…”

“Little how old?”

“Seven or eight, give or take.”

“Benjamin Barnes! You need proper lessons! My god! You’re lucky you made it this far! What if you got hurt?!” she chided him but out of concern after hearing the rest of his truth. Ben just smiled at how worried she became. (Name) was the nurturing type among the cast members. She deeply cared for every single one of them including him.

“I’m alright now, aren’t I?”

“Luck may be your friend right now but there’s no telling when she’ll turn tail and stab you in the back…Uh, Uh, No. You need thorough practice, Mister.” She began to lecture him sternly. Ben was smart, without a doubt, but he was also stubborn.

“I am practicing.”

“Walks and trots are not enough. There are scenes where we have to ride the horses at a much quicker pace. You have to master the canter and gallops.” She was right. He just felt lost and confused at this point. “But not to worry…there’ll be an instructor and specialist. Including me.”

“You? I didn’t peg you for an equestrian.”

“One thing in life you shouldn’t underestimate is how cartoons can influence a child’s decisions and life choices,” she explained to him animatedly. Ben laughed at her delightful nature as she gave him a cute and innocent answer to how she gained the skill.

“Are you serious? You have to be joking,” he leaned in close while placing his elbows on his lap. Ben sat on the couch alone while (Name) opted to sit crisscross applesauce on the carpeted floor by the coffee table.

“Dead serious, my good sir!” she said haughtily to her dashing co-star as she sipped from her glass of wine. Ben just kept chortling after hearing how his ‘new-found’ friend committed to learning a dangerous and tough skill such as horse riding just from watching a cartoon show.

“And, pray tell what animated television show was it that influenced such a young mind to study a perilous skill that is horse riding? Strangely I have a feeling I know what kind of show it is…” he grinned at her mischievously. Both the actors just loved to rile each other up in fits of laughter and joy. (Name) chuckled under her breath before looking up and dead straight into his eyes.

“It was My Little Pony.”

“My Little Pony! Ha ha yes! Girls in my primary school days loved that show.”

“All girls either dreamed to be an equestrian or a magical horse… for me I think it was both.”

Learning these silly things about his ‘newfound’ friend and co-star felt like an interesting and thrilling adventure. He felt like an explorer having discovered something new and exciting. Ben didn’t take into account how he could connect and share with a person like (Name). He was normally reserved but (Name) allowed him to open himself and be at ease.

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So yeah that’s how it started with the two. (Name) and Ben started off as friends…good friends actually. It was saddening to know that both actors will have to look elsewhere for open roles in upcoming films/tv shows. But that didn’t diminish their hope of losing their friendship nor contact with one another. From there, they made promises to keep in touch and send support anytime, anywhere. Ben was delighted with how things were going for him in the film industry. He had come a long way and studied hard. He began with minor roles and dabbled in music, and finally, his talent and skills were recognized.

As for our lovely (Name)? Things were also looking good for her as well. Her performance (though a minor role she had played) in Narnia astonished viewers…critiques and gave way to more opportunities for the young actress. Busy schedules, signings, interviews, making appearances, promotion of brands, and so on; this was just the beginning for the two rising but underrated stars. Not at all did it dwindle their connection…only made it stronger. All in all, they always made the time to call one another.

At the start, it was a friendship, yes. But it became more personal for the two. Secrets were shared. Families and siblings were introduced. Insecurities were confessed to one another. A lot of meaningful things were made between Ben and (Name). It was obvious to everyone around them including their families that the two were meant to be. The Barnes family adored (Name) for her selfless and kind nature towards their eldest son. And the (Surname) family was grateful to Ben for looking after their daughter in the film industry. The Barnes were also thankful for how she was patient and respectful of their son’s nature.

You know…when (Name) was first introduced to his family, they actually had mistaken her for his girlfriend. Their chemistry was good…really good that it really misguided them into believing that they were dating. But Ben’s mother knew him well. He was deeply infatuated with her. And he didn’t even know it. After a nice hearty meal in the Barnes household, Mrs. Barnes didn’t have to look further through her analytical eyes as she gazed upon her son talking so animatedly with the sweet girl.

From then on, she’d come to the conclusion that this young lady right here sitting before her was meant to be with her son. Another thing to add, the woman wasn’t getting any younger…she wanted some grandbabies.

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Support was given, secrets were shared, jokes were exchanged, and so much more. The friendship grew and strengthened, and it became apparent in the eyes of everyone how Ben and (Name) adored one another. But it became so frustrating how neither one of them took the initiative to confess to one another. Yeah, they liked each other, without a doubt. Okay, that’s a bit of an understatement so let me clarify it, Ben and (Name) genuinely loved each other (secretly and unknowingly).

However, despite the close relationship they held, they still both led different lives and hence went on different paths. (Name) would be occupied in some part of the US for a TV series and Ben would be in another part of the US in a studio working on his movie. All in all, they were busy with their schedules, interviews, and promotions.

In addition, Ben was a dashing and charming fellow so it was no surprise he was not single most of the time. He would date different girls here and there. Some he met through mutual friends and some he worked with. The relationships didn’t last long but (Name) felt she could not compare to these beautiful and striking women that caught her best friend’s eye.

Now she didn’t think less of herself. No, not one bit. She loved herself and all that she was. Her attitude was basically ‘Fuck you! My body, my choice, and besides I doubt you can handle all this!’ Oh yeah, total badass. But the point was she felt she could never fit herself in Ben’s heart. Of course, there would be some insecurities like; Was she not enough? Will she ever be enough? Does he ever see her as beautiful? Do you think he would feel the same way as she did about him?

I guess she would never know. So she lets fear cloud her thoughts and convinces her to bury those feelings deep inside and lock them away. It was better this way, she would tell herself, better to hide than leave with a broken heart and a destroyed friendship.

As for Ben’s case, he was also cooped up with his own schedule and the interviews but he always had something occupying his mind or rather someone. That, someone, was, of course, (Name). Why? Well, he wondered if she was doing okay... if she got the role she was auditioning for... if she got the package he sent her... or if was it too much. He did recall how much she enjoys candy from the UK, so he thought why not send her a box of candy.

His head wasn’t just occupied with her but his heart too. Ben couldn’t ignore how fast his heart was beating at the thought of (Name). Even with all women he has dated in his life, he always compared them to her. She was everything they weren’t. She was everything that he looked for in a woman. She was just everything and he loved it.

Yes, Ben Barnes was deeply infatuated with (Name) (Surname). And that infatuation would remain a secret for… who knows how long. Ben didn’t want to risk the chance of getting rejected and losing their friendship altogether. He couldn’t imagine losing her. He would not dare be reckless with his feelings either. But deep down… Ben wishes (Name) would one day return his feelings, so, in the meantime, he’ll just keep it all inside whilst he cherished his time with (Name) as being her best friend.

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One of the many things both the actors shared their love and joy in, was celebrating the holidays. Sure at first, these special occasions would be celebrated with close loved ones such as their families and long-time childhood friends. But it had gotten to a point in their lives that their friendship became…how to describe it…wholesome? Amazing? Fun? No, it was UNIQUE.

Ben and (Name) may have had their own circles of friends and companions but when it came to just the two of them…Things were just different really. But in a good way. And with how their friendship felt ‘unique’, many of their cherished moments included sharing some of the holidays.

It was late December but only one day before Christmas Eve. The sky was dim and cloudy as a shower of snowflakes descended upon the white blankets that covered mother earth. Our beloved (Name) (Surname) was currently settled in Ben’s humble abode and getting comfortable in the kitchen. Earlier, the young lad had received word that his old friend, (Name), was in his area and without a moment to lose nor a chance to forgo, called the actress to come over and celebrate the holiday with him.

Well, actually in truth, it may have slipped out as they were catching up over the phone. It started off as a light conversation. (Name) had come to England very early December to visit her cousin and attend an engagement party. During their chat, Ben had thought to himself of how it would be wonderful if she spent the winter holiday with him for the first time. What he hadn’t realized then was that he had voiced out his own thought. Of course, (Name) heard him. She said yes after all. What neither could tell as they spoke on the phone was how Ben was so flushed and red in the face, and how (Name) could not stop smiling to the point her cheeks hurt.

The two were filled with giddiness and glee at the prospect of spending this merry occasion with one another.

(Name) had taken up the duty of baking and was now occupied with rolling the cinnamon-sprinkled dough while mischievous and quite secretive Ben was trying to be sneaky in licking the sugary frosting. He was excited to finally eat some of his friend’s food once again. It was always a treat for him when (Name) pulled out her cooking skills and introduced her ethnic foods to him. It was actually both a treat and a learning experience for him.  

A fond memory to look back on was the first time they cooked together 9It was the first time (Name) had been to his home. She was so flustered that day but happy nonetheless that Ben was opening himself to her. It made their friendship so genuine). (Name) had quite the adorable shocked look on her face when she realized her British BFF did not always season his food properly. Well, he did. Just only salt and pepper. And if he felt like going crazy then a dash of paprika.

“Seriously? That’s a dash? More like dandruff,” she had teased him but he would pipe back saying, “I can’t help it! Don’t judge me!”

“You’re lucky you have me at your side, you uncultured Brit. That palate of yours needs some awakening. You, my handsome fellow need to have a taste of flavor!”

“You think I’m handsome?” he smirked at her which made her blush profusely.

“Ah-ah don’t change the subject! I’m here to teach you and you will thank me in the future.” Nice save, (Name), way to draw his attention away from that compliment you blurted out.

Then again, now that she looked at him closely. Ben was really handsome. He had such an adorable, infectious smile, dark alluring eyes, smooth luscious hair (which she envied so much, I mean have you seen his hair?!), and those lips…so pink, so soft, and kissable- ‘What the hell is wrong with me?! I can’t have these kinds of thoughts about my best friend! Not even, Ben!’

(Name) never saw Ben for his looks but for his personality. She found him to be kind, brilliant, humble, compassionate, caring, genuine, and… gosh, she could go on and on about the great things she sees in him. In the end, (Name) could not deny the truth…and the truth was that she was falling harder for the young actor, day by day.

“You feeling alright, love?” Ben interrupted her train of thought. Seems like she was spaced out there as her mind walked through memory lane. Now back to the present, (Name) looked back to the man that held her heart without his knowledge, and… Wait a second! Is that white frosting at the corner of his lip?! All of a sudden, (Name) boldly swiped her thumb at the corner of his lips picking the bit of frosting and bringing it into his line of sight to playfully reprimand him for his actions.

This caught Ben off guard and brought sweet chills down his back when (Name) touched him briefly. But then his eyes saw how she grumpily looked at him like he was a wanted criminal. God, did she look so adorable. He almost laughed at how she pouted so cutely like an angry chipmunk.

“Ha ha, you caught me,” he told her with hands slightly raised in surrender.

“Mhm, seriously, Barnes. What am I going to do with you?” she questioned him.

“Love me unconditionally? Cuz I think we’re low on frosting…” he trailed off nervously with a mischievous grin on his face that showed no regret in his actions. (Name)’s eyes widened slightly and looked to the bowl that held the concoction of her grandmother’s frosting.

“Ooh you dang little Brit…” she then dabbed her frosting coating thumb on his nose which made him chuckle at her reaction. “Oh well, I wouldn’t say little…” Ben replied naughtily going off perversely which made the woman blush at the thought of it which made the man chortle at her embarrassed reaction.

“Oh-Oh-you… You know what, out! Out! I need to finish this before your parents come over!”

“Are you seriously kicking me out of my kitchen?!” he laughed.

“Yes, yes I am! Because somebody keeps eating the ingredients!”

Ben just kept laughing as he let her push him out through the kitchen door but then paused as he looked up. “Oh look, mistletoe,” he pointed out. This caused (Name) to halt her movements and look up as well. And indeed, there was a mistletoe hanging at the entrance of the kitchen door. Huh, how did she miss that? Suddenly there was a stillness in the air as they both had come to the realization of what being under the mistletoe meant.

Ben’s thoughts of kissing (Name) right there and now but the risk of ruining the friendship and making things awkward between the two caused him to reel in the chance of doing so. He deeply cared for her and he would never dare try to drive her away nor scare her because he held feelings for her. He turned his body towards her and saw her staring at the mistletoe in deep thought and wonder.

She looked back at him and immediately their eyes connected. And suddenly, the world around them began to disappear and it was just them and them alone. It felt like being in a foggy dream. Ben and (Name) stood before each other staring at each other for long until Ben spoke, “Shou-should we… you know...” he barely formed his sentence but (Name) was quick to understand what he meant.

Hold on! Did Ben perhaps gesture that they commit the mistletoe tradition?! Was he serious?! So many thoughts ran through the woman’s mind. “I-I mean… It is tradition… I-If that’s what you want…” she herself found it hard to speak as well. Here she was, in front of the man that held her heart and the way he was looking at her... His face and expression held such a soft, sweet, loving, captivated look.

They coincidently held a reoccurring thought… ‘If I do this… there’s no turning back.’ Their faces then leaned in closer till they could feel each other’s warm breaths and signature perfumes. Ben smelt sweet yet woody whilst (Name) smelt fruity and fresh. Not too long did their lips collide and a passionate feeling burst between the two.

As their lips touched, they went back to recall all of their relationships and past experiences of kissing other people… none of them could compare to what they were doing. Ben felt so happy right then and there that he pushed himself to kiss the girl he’s always dreamed about and (Name) felt other bliss being in Ben’s arms as his lips caressed hers. He was tender yet passionate. The two had to pull away to regain oxygen and finally face the reality of the situation they put themselves in. As they pulled away from one another, Ben still kept his arms around (Name) while she had hers around his neck.

It had dawned on them that their kiss was so… real and intimate that their bodies were brought closer till they were intertwined. Ben began to smile and chuckled which confused (Name) and at the same time scared her into thinking Ben was playing for her fool but what he said next changed everything.

“I- I’m not going to lie and say that wasn’t the best I’ve had since ever…I-I don’t regret what I’ve done, (Name), I don’t,” he confessed to her seriously. She began to pipe in but Ben placed his finger on her lips to give him a moment to finish what he started. “Let me explain, please…” She nodded back and let him continue.

“I don’t regret kissing you, (Name). Not one bit. In fact, I’ve been dreaming since the moment I met you to kiss you… but not what we did back when we filmed Narnia… but out here… in real life… I’ve always held feelings for you, for so long. Too long, actually. I love the way smile, the way you laugh and cry at cat videos…”

That last bit made (Name) giggle for it was true. She both loved and nurtured felines. Ben smiled at her reaction and it gave him the boost of confidence to further his confession.

“…I love how spontaneous you are, how smart… and talented you are, it’s amazing what you’re really capable of, and I really admire that about you… I am in love with you, (Name) (Surname).” He finally said the last part he craved to tell her for years throughout their friendship yet it came out shakily as he feared her reaction to his confession.

But wait…was she…smiling at him and…were those tears?! Oh no! Did Ben screw up their friendship?!

“Ha ha… oh Ben… and here I thought I was the only fool in love with their best friend…” she cried happily to him. Ben let out a huge breath of relief. He smiled through his own tears back at her as he cupped her face to wipe off her tears that trailed down her cheeks. She was too beautiful to cry even though they were happy tears.

“I love you, Ben Barnes. Always have, haha. My god, it’s really happening! I love the way your eyes light up when you- when you’re happy, I love the way you laugh, I love you’re enviously but beautiful hair… God! For a man that uses one product for every part of his body, he still looks good!”

Ben began to laugh uncontrollably at her comment about his hair. (Name) would sometimes mention how it was unfair that men would only have to rely on one product to apply on all parts of the body and yet come out smoother than a baby’s bottom.

“…what it’s true! Anyway, where was I… ah yes, the hair. Love your hair, I also love your passion for music, in fact, I love how you sing Ben…”

Now, this caught him off guard. Ben had been open to her about his dream to one day release his own music but he didn’t think (Name) believed in him.

“You are so talented, so smart, so authentic, so… you’re amazing Ben. I wish you would see yourself the way I see you… And that’s why I love you,” she gave her confession.

Ben was left awestruck by her words and just like always she always left him speechless. “It took us a long time to tell this to each other…” he said to her breathlessly.

“Years of agony of loving in the dark and the fear of rejection… it’s over… I can finally show you my affections in the open, right?” she asked him.

Ben tucked in a stray strand of her luscious locks that smelled of lavender before looking deep into her eyes, “No more hiding. It’s all out in the open.”

“So what’s next?” She was now confused and felt no need to leave the warmth of his embrace, “What does this mean for us?” (Name) wanted to understand further about the change of their relationship and all the changes that would come with it.

“It means… that we become what we’ve always wanted… more than friends…”

“I like that but… what if things ever go south…”

“Not possible,” he said it in an earnest tone.

“What makes you so sure?”

“Because you’re all I’ve been looking for all along.” This made her smile and she leaned into his arms as they hugged like two long-lost lovers who finally found each other once again.

“Ha ha ha, Hah! I love you, Sirius Black,” she said to him playfully.

“You are never going to cease to let me live that down, are you?” he rolled his eyes at her.

“Nope!”

It wasn’t that long ago when Ben learned that Harry Potter fans imagined him or declared him to be the young Sirius Black of the Marauders fandom. Not only that, he was one time asked to take pictures with a Gryffindor tie.

“You can also be quite cheeky, huh. But that’s what I love about you… Sundance…” he said the last part with a smirk that caught her off guard.

“How did you-?!”

“How could I forget that My Little Pony manipulated you into becoming an equestrian… and you only get Sundance merch, ha ha ha.”

“Ahh!”

“What?! It’s adorable!”

Yup, those two were meant to be.

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Author's note:

Hi @marimorena06 I really want to say I'm so sorry you had to wait so long for your request to be fulfilled. I'm aware you gave your request last year (2021) on November. I thought I was confident in taking requests but was overwhelmed with the list of replies (I'm not mad). I'm disappointed in myself in being slow but I'm happy to finally be done with all the requests that were sent to me. Though I think you deserve all of my sincerest apologies for having to wait the longest. So I decided to put all of my mind and heart into this fic and spice it up with so much love, details, short stories, and some humor.

It took me long and hard but I managed. I've come to the realization I don't do well with deadlines so I'm taking a break from accepting requests until I'm a pro at this. All those fandom writers who deal and accept with a lot of tumblr fic requests have my deepest respect. I only had a few and I barely managed. I didn't want to disappoint, I had writer's block many times, I was busy at home, looking for jobs (it is so hard to find), I was so sick (I'm not saying I had the hardest time), and my laptop sucks (like really sucks... I've had it for nearly 10 years).

So my apologies to you and to everyone else that was anticipating this fic. I hope it meets your expectations and that it brings you joy. And again thank you for your request it was so sweet of you to ask me, a newbie, to bring your idea to life. You can request again once I'm available. Right now I'll be going through some changes and introducing new content. Thank you once again, I hope you had a good holiday and happy new year to you and everyone else. And thank you for the support.

Taglist:

@marimorena06 @itzzzzcookie @s0-theking @s1xthirty @sagejames @fromgreytoyellow @esther334 @airsummoner @memymfselfandi @gweaswift @supernaturallover2002 @veganismbymelaniecavill @eginv-blog @fakehappy27 @ivymiriiu @bruxa0007 @jessevans @maregomes @dxvanadeline @lorenshmidt @mandybug39 @lovesssss @enchantingeggslimepeanut @nana-licious @rheathesimp @darlingangel-17 @edithsvoice @lewisroscoelove @calimoi

[angelstate]

You Shouldn't (PT. 1)

Pairing: Peter Parker x fem!reader

Genre:, Angst, Fluff? (Not finished ending)

Warnings: low self-esteem, depression, negative and pessimistic mindset, mention of eating disorder, suicide attempt.

Please do not read if you're sensitive to those topics or if you're easily triggered by them.

Summary: You could no longer pretend to be happy, your boyfriend peter notice but you were too far gone into your own head.

Words:4.7k!

(sorry for being gone! I wasn't doing well mentally and i wrote this throughout that so this is super sad and maybe a little heavy to read)

you were ok, you had to be, everything in your life was great, you were studying to become a psychiatrist just like you wanted, you had a loving boyfriend and you were writing a book about a tragic love story.

How could you not be happy? You had no reason to be unhappy but..you are.

you were so unhappy it was maddening, you couldn't eat or sleep because of how tired and suicidal you felt since the moment you woke up to the moment you would fell back asleep.

you tried to blame the final exams, because of course they were super stressful, but you have aced all of them. you tried to blame the pressure you felt about finish writing your book because of course that was super stressful too, but you had all the time you wanted to write it.

maybe it was the fact you went low contact with your parents because of how against they were about you studying psychiatry but you did that for your own good 2 years ago and you never regretted it.

maybe it was seasonal depression? it could have been it if it wasn't for the fact you have had clinical depression since you were 8 years old.

it was so infuriating. Because why, why right after you had finally put your life together you were drowning again in the ocean of depression you had fought so hard to get out of? It was like the universe wanted you to fail and fall deep into your feelings.

you knew the moment you stopped eating breakfast and dinner that you were spiraling back into your unhealthy cycle; your pride didn't let you pay attention to that though.

you held too much pride into the fact the you finally had control over your life to stop and accept you were going into your depression again.

maybe if you had gotten up one day and told your therapist that it had gotten bad again you would already been out of this horrible state.

instead you chose to fake it till you make it, stupid decision because even if you fake your not depressed that doesn't change the fact that you were. Being in denial about it was just going to harm you in the long run.

and it did. it harmed you so fucking much you stopped pretending you weren't depressed. What was even the point, nobody even noticed the first time you were depressed so they wouldn't the second time.

_______________

"you have to get up" peter said and looked at you.

you were laying on your bed, blankets covering you till your neck, hair messy and full of knots because you haven't brushed it in 3 days.

"i don't want to" you answered and closed your eyes pretending to sleep right in front of peter.

"you have to" peter pressed and sat in your desk chair.

"no i don't" you said, today you didn't have classes so you had no reason to get up.

"you do, when was the last time you ate something?" he asked and pointed at you with a look of worry in his face.

"i don't know, like 4 hours ago?" You lied and pressed your lips in a thin line.

"really? because I've been here for the last 8 hours so how didn't i saw you at the kitchen?" He Said with a tone of disbelief, questioned you.

"i had food here" you lied again.

"ok, then what did you eat?" Peter crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow waiting for you to answer, maybe this time with the truth.

"i ate a Snickers and a protein bar" you answered after 10 seconds of silence.

"where are the wrappers then?" He knew what to ask. You were cornered because what lie could you possibly say now.

"i don't know" you pouted and looked down.

"don't lie to me, flower. tell me, why have you not eaten?" peter said softly, worry dripping from his eyes and voice.

"i haven't been hungry" you answered.

"ok...are you hungry now?" he asked, ready to get up and bring anything you felt like eating.

"not really" you whispered and closed your eyes again, you felt so tired.

"are you ok flower?" peter stood up and walked towards you, sitting on the bed and moving the covers do he could see your face fully.

"yes, just tired" your voice was shaky, you were the furthest thing from ok.

"alright, then sleep, tomorrow ill pick you up so we can go eat breakfast at the new coffee shop" he said before giving you a little kiss on your forehead.

"good night, flower. I love you" peter whispered in your ear.

"bye pete. I love you too" you whispered back and let yourself fell back asleep.

________________

you pulled away from peter two weeks after he caught you lying about your eating habits.

you were ashamed and embarrassed. Not just for getting caught lying but because no matter how bad you felt for doing it, you still believed that stop eating wasn't a bad thing.

You were losing weight, you actually had lost 11lb in the span of 4 weeks. it's not like you needed to lose weight, you were underweight now.

But who didn't liked to be underweight? That meant you didn't have to worry it you gain weight because that meant you would enter into your perfect weight.

It was different with you, you had anorexia nervosa when you were a teenager. You punished your body by not eating everytime you weren't good at something.

you punished yourself a lot at the time, not because you weren't good but because your parents always told you that you could be better.

It didn't matter if you were good because you weren't the best.

now, 2 months have passed since you slowly pulled away from peter. You didn't cut him off or broke up, you talked to him, you spent time with him but you no longer could be by his side all the time.

you wanted to be left alone, in the dark of your room, in the hole you dig to hide your feelings. You just wanted to pretend you weren't in pain with no people around you to show you how obviously you were lying to yourself.

"can i have uhm...a water with strawberries toppings" you said.

"what size the drink?" the girl behind the register asked with a kind smile.

"a venti please" you answered.

"do you want ice in the drink?"

"yes."

"ok, it will be 2 dollars and 50 cents" the girl said and you gave her a 5 dollar bill.

after she gave you your change you sat down on one of the empty tables to wait for your drink.

you had a lot of things to do today so you forced yourself to get up early, brush your teeth, shower and brush your hair.

now all you needed was breakfast, what you just ordered was your breakfast.

you felt guilty about even coming to Starbucks and buying it.

you should have just brought a water bottle from your department but you didn't thought about it before you left.

you were on Instagram seeing your friends posts when suddenly peter called you, sighing you decided not to answer.

thirty seconds later he called again, you picked up this time. Maybe it was something important.

"hello?"

"hi, flower. how are you?"

"i'm great, what about you?"

"i'm good, what are you doing?"

"im at starbucks, uhm..eating breakfast"

"really? That's great. i called you because aunt may want you to come and have dinner with us today"

"today?"

"yeah, are you busy?"

"uhm, a little but i can make time"

"great! i can go pick you up at 7"

"you don't have to, I'll just go after i finish my errands"

"are you sure?"

"yeah, I'll be at your house at 7"

"ok, i love u"

"love u too"

"I'll see you later, flower"

"see you"

you hung up, your body already felt tired and drained. All the energy you had for the day was already gone after that phonecall.

when did putting effort in your relationship began to feel so tiring? why were you becoming such a shitty girlfriend.

you loved peter since you were 14, you became his friend and spend months of your life with peter by your side till he finally became your boyfriend and now you couldn't bring yourself to putting the effort even though you're mind was screaming at you to do so.

"i'm a shitty person" you whispered and walked out of Starbucks with your drink.

_____________

"why didn't you show up?" Peter was in your front door, face filled with frustration and anger you knew you had provoked.

"im sorry" you said, that all you could say to be honest. you weren't capable in going on a full rant about how suicidal you felt yesterday to the point you just went home without even finishing your errands and then fell asleep crying because of how tired you felt.

the thing about the depression is, you can't tell people why you're depressed. sometimes you don't know why. And when you do, you can't bring yourself to tell anyone. you didn't want for people to think you felt entitled to receive help.

"i knows you are, what i don't know is why you didn't show up" he said loudly, stepping inside of your apartment and closing the door so this conversation would be private.

"something i ate made me sick" you lied and hugged yourself, looking up you saw how peter face had a expression of disbelief.

you saw how his eyes scanned your figure, throwing daggers at the way your "skinny jeans" were baggy on your figure, how your shirt seem oversized and how your skin was pale and dull.

"don't lie" he finally answered and looked at you with worry, his voice still filled with frustration.

"im not lying" you weren't exactly lying, you did felt sick, you had thrown up but you didn't ate so no food made you sick.

"you are, i know you're not eating. There's something wrong and you're not being honest with me. I can help you if you don't talk to me" peter stretched his arms out, reaching out to you but waiting for you to walk into his arms.

"i don't need help" you took a few steps back until the back of your legs made contact with the couch.

"i know you need help, if this is like when we were in high school i can help you. I know how you just need to let me in" peter pressed and walked closer to you.

"this isn't like high school, pete. I'm not sick i don't need your help or any help at all." you lied.

you needed his help, your body and mind were screaming for it. for him to save you from drowning in this ocean of depression. to give you his hand so you can take it and see the sun again and felt nourished by the sun rays.

"don't do this, please." peter suddenly begged you.

"don't do what?" you asked unsure of what to do at the sudden change of mood in the room.

"don't shut me off again. I want to help you and be by your side, you can't give up on yourself. You can expect me to give up on you" peter whimpered at the last sentence, his eyes slowly began to form tears.

your heart broke, and your emotions began to explote in your mind, how sorry you felt for peter, for feeling sad about your unhealthy state and for how miserable being with you was making him be.

you needed to be comforted and yet you broke the boy in front of you to be point he needed it more than you at this moment.

you were a shitty girlfriend.

"in sorry, ok?" you whispered and closed the distance between peter and you before hugging him.

you were sorry, you were really really sorry about not showing up, about lying, about pulling away and not putting effort in the relationship.

You hated the fact that even feeling extremely sorry you couldn't bring yourself to speak to him about how it had gotten bad again and this time you really believed you wouldn't be able to get out.

"please don't push me away" peter whispered in your ear and hugged you back hiding his face on your neck, breathing in your smell and realizing how his frustration didn't left his body.

"i won't, your stuck with me forever" you answered but didn't what you said didn't felt true

of course you wouldn't push him away again, but 'forever'? would you really be here for him forever, alive? you weren't sure that was a promise you could keep. Sooner or later you would give up.

"forever" he whispered back.

____________

forever: adverb

meaning: for All future time; for always.

you shouldn't have used the word forever, not then and not now. In the ending of your suicide letter.

you shouldn't be promising to be stuck by his side forever in the after life or on all the other lives you'll have to live until you can finally rest.

you shouldn't be whispering to yourself forever now, promising yourself and eternal bed of rest.

you shouldn't be laying on your bathtub with your clothes on, filled to the brim with hit water, so hit that it's making your skin sting.

you shouldn't be eyeing the blade in your right hand like your past lover from another life, finally reunited after such a long wait to kiss again.

you shouldn't.

you shouldn't.

you shouldn't but you were.

you had love and fear tattooed on your eyes, your mouth tasting the bitterness of fake acceptance of the ending.

your hands shaking with excitement and fear; with anticipation and hesitation.

you shouldn't be doing this if half of your body is drowning on sorrow and hesitation but you were doing this.

it had been way too long, you used too much time to feel your feelings so now you were acting on them. your pain was acting his most desired fantasy.

you were screwed from the moment you picked up the red inked pen and wrote on that white sheet of paper that was laying on your desk, waiting to be used, waiting to be stained with your tears.

you wanted to pick up your phone and cry for help to your peter, tell him you were about to do something you shouldn't and to save you like the super hero he is.

but you couldn't, you couldn't, you couldn't.

you couldn't and it that was about to kill you.

"god please forgive me" you whispered, running the blade deeply in both of your wrists, cutting a long line across your upper arms.

the pain took your breath away, like when you were a kid and almost drowned in your uncle's pool, the same pain and breathlessness the water inside your lungs created.

the sound of your blood dripping into the bath made you feel nauseous, like when you were a teenager and the smell of food when you starved yourself for to long made you throw up.

the smell was slowly getting stronger to the point in got overwhelming to your tired body, like the first time you took this same desition.

This was too much.

you shouldn't, you shouldn't, you shouldn't.

but you did.

and god how good it felt.

wow.

everything went black, your mind filled with peace, the silence was comforting and you were wrapped in a bed of comfort. Slowly sinking more to the point you couldn't breath.

your skin felt warm, like your head was disconnected to your body, your thoughts finally leaving your mind like a running tap, nothing stopping the flow of your most secrets and suicidal thoughts.

there was nothing and there was everything around you, all the things that filled your soul with experiences was happening around you, memories flooding the endless space you were floating so carelessly.

this was paradise, until your mind started to rant about the way hell was here

hell was you

hell was waking up

hell was taking deep breaths

......

wake up and take a deep breath; look around you and accept your alive in between disasters out of reach of your fixing hands.

wake up and take a deep breath; look beside you and take in the features of who's laying beside you, in the same bed of pain. Suffering differently but in the same level as you.

wake up and take a deep breath; look at your body laying in a bathtub of pain filled with red water, realize is the same as the bed of pain, only lonelier and eternal in your dying body.

wake up and take a deep breath.

________________

you woke up and took a deep breath, looked beside you and found the familiar features of who just like promised, was laying beside you, this ion a uncomfortable chair, head resting on the hospital bed your tired body was resting on.

his hands was holding yours, touch warm and comforting, just like the last thing you remember.

he moved, slowly. Bringing his head slightly closer to your body, searching for the warm your tired body wasn't able to provide him anymore.

he just found your waist, bringing his free hand to rest on the new found skin, searching for a trace of past memories.

the ones his bedroom walls witnessed.

you took a deep breath, filling your lungs with the air you desperately tried to get rid off, you body slowly fighting to bring your warm back.

to bring you back to life in the spiritual way, the one you died long ago.

you took a deep breath.

this time he woke up, eyes adjusting to the light of the room before falling on your face.

your eyes wide open, lips and skin pale but screaming silently about the minuscule life it held.

slowly, his expression filled with realization of your not so lifeless body, his eyes grew wide and desperate, his lower lip quivered and his hands that held you began to shake.

"your alive" he said in disbelief, voice shaking and out of breath.

you couldn't say anything, there were no options going through your mind, everything was empty. no words sounded appropriate in your mind.

so you just stared at him with your clueless and death doe eyes, no light inside of them to show him a peak of your bruised soul.

"why are you alive?" your eyes went completely empty, how can you answer that?.

"I don't know'

.......

(to be continued)

[victoria-writes]

I will never forget you.

Pairing: Legolas x Reader (gender neutral)

Summary: Legolas proposes to you and reassures you that he wants to be with you. Fluff & Angst with a happy ending + bonus ending

Word Count: 1605

Notes:

Reader is human

No gender or pronouns used to refer to the reader. Reader is briefly mentioned to have short hair

MENTIONS OF DEATH (reader's). Don't read if you're not ok with thinking about your own mortality xoxo

Read it on AO3 here

Story:

It has been months since you moved to Mirkwood with the prince following the disbandment of the fellowship and destruction of the one ring. Sometimes your mind would drift to what could’ve happened had the ring fallen into the wrong hands or if any other evil lies dormant, waiting for the opportune moment to strike. You could never sit with these thoughts for long, though. Legolas seemed to have a sixth sense for when you needed to see the good in the world again. Today was one of those days. 

“Come, there is something I wish to show you”, the elf smiled as he stretched his hand out, waiting for you to take it from your place sitting in a wooden chair inside the royal palace. 

“It better not be another elk giving birth in the woods. I’m still traumatized from your idea of ‘the beauty of nature’”, you grimace at the memory still not extending your hand.

“No, no, nothing like that. I promise”, he chuckles softly.

“Fine”.

Legolas had brought you to a clearing in the forest, surrounded by old-growth trees and wildflowers. White queen anne’s lace, forget-me-nots, and flowers whose names you did not know, who only seemed to grow near where elves trot, filled your eyes. This is not the first time he’s found a quiet spot in nature to take you, and it will surely not be the last. While overlooking the rainbow of colors seemingly dancing in the field in front of you, you sneak a glance at the elf from the corner of your eye. He stands confidently with his hands behind his back next to you and smiles. If it were anyone else looking at him, they’d think he was completely at ease. Anyone but you. The look in his eyes said “Do you like it? Do you? Please tell me you like it.”. He always wanted to impress you, whether it be shooting three arrows at once when one would suffice, wearing his nicest clothes (“Legolas why are you wearing your ceremonial attire?” “Don’t worry about it, father”.), or finding the best places to take you. Be still, your beating heart. For a nearly 3,000 year old elf, he acted like a lovesick teenager. 

“It’s absolutely beautiful”, you finally say after a long silence. Legolas releases tension in his shoulders he didn’t even realize he was holding. 

“I knew you would. Let us sit in the grass.”, he guided you so that he was sitting with your back against his chest, his legs on either side. 

You felt your tongue form teasing words about him taking you on a hike to a remote spot just for a cuddle, but they faded away as he wrapped his arms around your sides and began to plant soft, slow kisses on your neck and shoulder. You melted into his warm touch. 

“May I braid your hair?”

“Yes, but there’s not much to braid.”, you reply. You had recently gotten a haircut and felt as though Legolas may be disappointed. He was very enthusiastic about your new look the first time he saw it, but now you fear he may not enjoy it. 

“Nonsense, I shall make many small plaits instead”.

“Alright”, you relaxed into his hands as he began to weave strands of hair behind you. You closed your eyes, as you reveled in the feeling of the sunlight on your face as he worked. All was quiet aside from the occasional bird chirping or squirrel running up a tree. A warm feeling took hold in your chest and you couldn’t help the smile that formed on your lips. You were safe. You were happy. You were in love. 

Millenia seemed to pass before Legolas announced he was done. True to his word, he had formed many braids in your hair. He may have gone a little overboard with just how many he made, but he just loved the feeling of being so close to you and never wanted it to end. 

“Thank you”, you whisper as your turn to face him, giving him a peck on the lips. You move your hand to feel the back of your head, itching to feel the braids your lover gifted you. Soft. Your fingers feel something soft. Something thin and soft. 

“Forget-me-not flowers”, Legolas clarified, seeing you trying to decipher with your fingers, “I thought them appropriate”.

“Why is that?” “They are gifted to one whose presence you enjoy, so as not to forget them, as the name implies. I could never forget you and I hope you would not forget me. Each past day with you is a beloved memory and each day to come cannot come soon enough. I treasure each moment with you. I feel myself drowning in my affection for you. No, peacefully swimming. I adore you. I cannot bear to be without you.”, he says softly as he holds both your hands and kisses each one, never breaking eye contact.

“Oh, Legolas”

“Meleth nîn”, he uses his hands to guide you both to your feet. As you look up into his bright blue eyes, he whispers “Please allow me to never be without you. Allow me to walk beside you for all the days we may share together before death takes us. I have lived millennia without you. Now that I know what life is like with you in it, I never want to go back. I want you with me, always.”

“Are you asking me-?”, you begin as he kneels down in front of you and pulls out a ring from his pocket.

“Y/N, will you marry me?”, he gazes at you with hope in his eyes as he lifts the ring towards you. 

“Yes. Yes. Yes!”, he quickly puts the ring on your left ring finger and you pull him into a harsh kiss. You and the elf wear matching smiles as you kiss long and hard. 

“I’m so happy, Legolas…but is this what you really want?”, your smile drops as your nerves hit you. “Of course, my love. Why do you question my intentions?”.

“It’s not your intentions that I question. It’s just that you’re…you”, you vaguely gesture at the elf.

“I’m not following.”

“You’re a prince. I’m poor. You’re an elf that’ll live thousands of years. I’m a human that’ll be lucky if I make it to 70.” “I don’t care about that.”

“Your father won’t approve.” “I care not what my father thinks. His opinion of our union will not sway me.” 

“Then what of my mortality? One day I will die and leave you alone.”

He sighs before he speaks, “I must admit I have thought long and hard on this subject. The thought of your death pains me to no end.” “Exactly. Our marriage would be short-lived in your long lifetime and I will become nothing but a memory to you, one that will fade one day.”

“What are you saying?” “I’m saying you love me now, but one day I will die and you’ll move on and I’ll mean nothing to you. One day you’ll laugh at how you ever loved a silly human”, tears began to well in your eyes, shame overtaking you as you finally let out the fears you’ve been harboring all this time. Your gaze drifts downwards, unable to face your elven lover. Legolas’ eyes widened in realization, shocked at your true feelings. He manages to compose himself and lifts your chin up with his index finger. 

“Meleth nîn, look at me. Y/N, please.”, he whispers his request. 

“It is true that my life will continue when yours ends.”

Hot tears began to run down your cheeks at this. 

“But”, he swipes the tears away with his thumb, “You will always be a part of it. Even when you are gone, I will love you. You have shown me love that I did not think was possible. When you are gone, I will visit your grave with flowers each day. I will braid my hair and miss the touch of yours. I will never remarry. I will walk the paths we have taken together. I will meditate in this very spot, remembering this moment. I will never forget you. In life and in death, we are connected. I love you”.

“And I love you”, you barely choke the words out through your tears. 

“Knowing all this, my silly human,”he teases before turning serious, “Will you marry me?” “Of course, I’ll marry you, you ridiculous elf”.

You both grin as Legolas lifts you up and spins you in his arms. When your feet are planted on the Earth again he kisses you deeply. As you feel your lips on your own, you imagine a thousand more kisses each day with him for the rest of your days. 

Bonus

Many moons have passed since your passing. Legolas meant every word of his promise and has done all that he said. Before he rests each night, he reads the book on his nightstand, your favorite book of poems. He recalls reading it to you on nights your eyes were too tired as he pet your hair while you laid on his chest. When he wakes each morning, he glares at the large empty space beside it, wishing it were you. Although his heart pangs at the loss of you, he finds joy and comfort in revisiting your old haunts, his favorite being the spot where he proposed to you. Today, our elf wanders into the cemetery. “Hello, meleth nîn”, he smiles as he places a bouquet of freshly picked forget-me-nots on your grave.

[thenerdyfanwriter]

Damn Your Lies

Pairings: Modern!Bucky Barnes x Rogers!Reader, Implied Bucky x Natasha Romanoff

Word Count: 1,947

Warnings: ANGST. Like lots of angst. Hints at cheating.

Summary: You feel Bucky pulling away from you. When you meet the new neighbor, everything comes to light.

A/N: This is based off the song The Chain by Fleetwood Mac. There is a possibility for a part 2 if enough people want one.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There was something going on with Bucky. He’s been acting strange for a few weeks now. When I asked him about it he just said he’s been spending more time with “a friend”. A. Friend. Not “my friend”, just “a friend”. I don’t understand why he won’t even tell me who it is. I thought I knew all his friends. 

Bucky is currently out with his friend. Just the one friend. And I hate this feeling I have, like I know he’s doing something he shouldn’t. This has become a routine at this point. Bucky tells me he’s leaving, I ask where he's going, he tells me a friends, and I sit on the couch or lay in bed with this sick feeling until he gets back.

It’s almost midnight now. This is the latest Bucky has been. I know I sound super jealous right now, but when you get this feeling, it’s the only thing you can be. 

I must have fallen asleep. I feel Bucky laying next to me. I can hear him snoring. I open my eyes and he has his back to me. I can see a sliver of sun peeking through the curtains in the room. Slowly getting out of bed, as to not wake Bucky, I make my way to the kitchen. 

I stop in the middle of the hallway. I can hear Bucky saying something, but I can only make out a part of it before I hear snoring again. With softer steps, I continue making my way to the kitchen to start breakfast.

By the time Bucky finally gets up, it’s almost noon. “ Good Morning Buck.I made breakfast and coffee if you want some.”

He grumbles before responding. “ Thanks. Not hungry though.” He grabs a cup of coffee before going back to the bedroom. I follow him. He’s not normally like this in the morning. He normally is happy for some breakfast and engages in conversation.

“Are you ok, Bucky? Is there something wrong?” He’s facing away from me sitting on the edge of the bed. The curtains have been opened and the sun is blazing through them now. I notice Bucky still has last night's clothes on, although they look more messy and wrinkled now.

“I’m fine. Just tired s’all.” Bucky said before sipping some coffee. He’s still facing away from me at this point, so I walk around the bed to sit next to him. Before I make it all the way around, he turns on the bed to face me, and I see it. Dark red lipstick on the collar of his shirt. 

I stop before I make it to him. Bucky looks at me and his brows furrow. “I’m going to go clean the bathroom.” I say quickly and exit the room before he can say anything.

I make it to the bathroom and lock the door. I hear footsteps in the hallway. None of them come to the bathroom. It sounds like Bucky’s getting ready for work. I hear his footsteps in the hallway one last time before I hear the front door open and close.

That’s when I break down. My back slides down the door and I pull my knees to my chest and let the tears fall. I should have known better than to not question him farthing about things. I should have pushed harder for the truth.

At some point the tears stopped and I got up, cleaned myself up and continued on with my day. Bucky should be home around 6 pm tonight, which gives me plenty of time to go shopping and cook dinner.

I drove to the grocery store to get some things for dinner. As I was shopping, I noticed our new neighbor. Where Bucky and I live, it’s a very small town where we all know each other. I had heard of her from a few friends, but never got to meet her before now.

I walk up to her and introduce myself.  “Hi, I’m Y/n. You must be Natasha.” She had shoulder length, red hair and natural makeup on. I can see why everyone is already fawning over her. She’s beautiful.

“Yeah, I am. It’s nice to meet you.” She seems very anxious. Her eyes keep darting around and she keeps shifting feet.

“Well, why don’t you come over to my house for dinner tonight? It’ll be me and my boyfriend, Bucky.” I asked her. She froze when I said Bucky’s name, which is weird. “You can bring your partner if you’d like as well.” 

“Oh, I’m actually not seeing anyone. But I’ll take you up on the dinner offer. It would be nice to make new friends.” Natasha said. She seems a little less fidgety. 

I give her a big smile and give her my address. “ See you tonight then.”

“Yeah. See you.” She said before rushing off.

I finish shopping and make it home a couple hours before Bucky is supposed to be home. I start dinner and start setting the dining room up. By time I’m done, there's still a half hour before Bucky gets home, so I go change.

I hear the front door open and heavy steps walking through the house. I look at the clock in the bedroom and realize Bucky is home early. I walk out to the living room where he’s taking his boots off. “ You’re home early, Buck.”

“Yeah. I finished work early.” He said without looking up from where he was unlacing his boots.

“Ok. Well I invited the new neighbor, Natasha, over for dinner. I’m making your favorite roast.” At Natasha’s name his fingers on his boot laces freeze briefly before continuing. 

“Ok sweets. Fine with me.” He finishes taking his boots off and goes to the bedroom. I hear the over chime, so I go to the kitchen to finish dinner.

As I’m transferring everything from the kitchen to the dining room, the doorbell rings. I make my way to the door and pull it open. On the other side is Natasha. “ Hi. I’m just finishing setting up dinner. You can go sit at the table if you'd like. Bucky should be out soon.” As if on cue Bucky walks out of the bedroom.

“You must be Natasha. I’m Bucky.” He says as he greets her. I finish moving everything and we all sit down. We engage in conversation for a while before I notice her lipstick.

“That's a beautiful shade of lipstick you have. Almost like a perfect dark red.” I said to her. I feel like I’ve seen that color before, I just can’t place where.

“Oh, thank you. I just love the color of it.” Natasha responds.

We keep conversation for another hour while we finish dinner. Natasha has to leave so we say goodbye and Bucky and I start cleaning up. “She seems nice. What do you think Bucky?”

“Um, yeah. She seems nice enough.” Bucky says. He’s still acting strange but I figure he’s just not feeling well or something.

I go to the kitchen to start on the dishes when I pick up the glass Natasha was drinking from. There’s remnants of her lipstick still on it and I remember where I saw it before. This morning on Bucky’s shirt collar. The glass falls from my hand and Bucky comes running in.

“Are you ok? I heard a crash.” He rushed out.

I smiled and looked at him. “ Yeah I’m fine. The glass slipped from my hand.” I turned back to the sink and continued with the dishes. He seemed fine with my response so he walked out of the kitchen. I could feel my breath getting more shaky as I held tears back.

Bucky was in bed sleeping by the time I was done with the dishes and got ready for bed. I laid with my back to him but couldn’t sleep. At this point I was silently crying, hoping what I’m thinking isn’t what’s happening.

Bucky must have woken up at some point because I feel his arms wrap around me before I hear him start talking. “Baby, are you crying?” He asked. He sounds genuinely concerned.

“No, I’m fine, Buck.” I sniffle and wipe my face before facing him. I know he can tell I’m lying just based on the way his face shifts. 

“Don’t lie to me, doll. Tell me what’s wrong.” He says, cupping my face.

I pull away from him and sit up against the headboard. “Why won’t you tell me about your new friend? It seems like you’re always out with them, but you never tell me who they are or what you do.” I say while looking at him. He sits up and takes a minute to find an answer.

“Are you trying to insinuate I’m cheating on you?” He asks as he looks at me like I’m crazy.

“No, I just like to know what’s going on in your life.” I told him. He gets off the bed and starts pacing the room.

“Is that why you invited Natasha over? To try and catch me cheating?” He looks at me. His breathing is heavier.

More tears are springing in my eyes as I connect the dots. The lipstick, freezing when I said her name. “Was that her lipstick on the collar of your shirt last night?” I ask calmly.

He stops pacing and faces me fully. He looks like a deer in headlights. “What lipstick?” He asks almost in a whisper. I get off the bed and go over to the laundry basket where his shirt is. I pull it out and show him the stain. He looks at it closely before responding. “That’s your lipstick.”

“No, it’s not. I don’t wear this color. But Natasha does.” I throw the shirt at him as the tears finally make their way down my face. “Is she your new friend? The one you hangout with all night and refuse to tell me about?” 

Bucky’s frozen. He knows now that he’s been caught. After a minute of no response from him, I make my way to the living room to grab my stuff. “Where are you going Y/n?” He chases after me with the shirt still in his hand.

“I’m going to sleep at my brothers tonight. I’ll come back for my stuff in the morning.” My breathing is heavier and I can barely see through the tears coming from my eyes.

“Don’t leave me,please. I love you. I promise nothing happened between me and Natasha.” He seems panicked now, as I collect my bag and coat.

“Bucky you don’t love me if you’re willing to let another girl get lipstick all over you and then lie about it.” I’m standing at the door now. 

“I do love you.” He says loudly. 

I turn around and face him. I’m tired of this back and forth. “ If you don’t love me now, you’ll never love me again. I know you fell out of love, Bucky. And that's ok.Goodbye Buck.”

Before he can respond, I run out the door. I start walking to Steve’s apartment.

When I get there, I knock on the door. It takes a minute for him to answer, but when he does, I run into his arms and cry hard. “Whoa, what's wrong?” He asks, pulling me into the living room.

“Bucky cheated on me.” Was all I could say before crying again. He looks mad now. I know Him and Bucky were best friends.

“You can stay here, as long as you need to.” He went and got some blankets for me and I laid on the couch before drifting into sleep.

[beabeemu]

All this time

Itoshi Rin x Reader

Pregnancy trope!! Summary: After getting pregnant by Rin at the age of 16, deciding that not telling him about is the best thing you could do for him. Considering his soccer career, you would only get in the way.

SERIES!!!

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“Shit…” 

Staring at the pregnancy test in my hands, with 2 lines. 

2 lines… 

Fuck 

‘I always thought that I won’t get pregnant, because well… I hate kids 

Fuck, I hate kids 

Will I hate my kid too? 

Should I abort it? 

Mom would kill me 

No that’s wrong 

My whole family would kill me. 

They’d kill me either way because I’m pregnant.’ 

Who would’ve thought that I’d be pregnant 

At 16 

And how the fuck do I tell him?

.

.

.

.

.

“Ok, it seems that you’re baby is healthy. Would you like to know the gender?” 

Staring at the screen where my baby is, I think I’m getting the hang of this, ultrasound thing. I looked at the doctor who was holding the machine thingy, she was my third doctor because the other 2 were super judgy. 

“Sure! Wouldn’t hurt to know right? “ 

“Don’t you want to have a gender reveal party? Love, it’s your first child after all” 

Said mom, who was beside me. She finally got her head around that I was pregnant. Dad however is still awkward, along with my whole family. Apart from my close cousins of course. I didn’t tell him yet. Mom doesn’t know who it is. I just lied to her and told her that I forgot his name and that I didn’t get his number. Which was all a lie, I still remember his face from that night. 

I mean how could you forget a face like his? He is Itoshi Rin Afterall. 

“Nah, no one would probably come anyways” 

“Don’t say that honey, I’m sure your cousins would like to come, and your friends” 

“I think I’d rather just lay low” 

“If that's what you want honey” 

“Ok, so the gender of your baby is a-” 

.

.

.

Looking at his contact name, resisting the urge to text him and say “I’m pregnant and you’re the father” 

But I knew that it wouldn’t end well, I’d only be a burden to him, hold him back. And the last thing I need right now is to be stuck in a relationship like that. I don’t even know how we ended up having sex that night. 

We’ve known each other since we were in grade school, we were neighbors, But then their family moved, and we kept in contact, But later this year, we’ve only been briefly chatting with each other again. Then we met up 8 months ago, we had a few drinks, and one thing led to another, and now we’re here. 

I did try to contact him, but then I remembered him telling me that he was gonna go to a soccer camp called blue lock. So I made that a reason as to why he’s not messaging back. 

And, without even telling him about our daughter, I already know how it’s gonna go. 

He’ll probably say some shit like ‘I have to focus on soccer right now, but when I can I’ll visit you’ 

Then he will visit every few months, considering he might go pro in soccer, he’ll be busy and I’ll be here, stuck in the past. Struggling to get to the future with my baby. I don’t want my child to be in an unpredictable relationship with Rin, I mean we all know how Rin is, he is just so hell-bent on beating his brother, and I don’t want to get in the way of that. This is for the best. It will be better if Rin doesn’t know. I don’t want my daughters’ first heartbreak to be caused by her father. 

Do I have any intention of telling him? I don’t know 

But ever since getting pregnant I’ve gotten more curious and more excited about meeting my baby, I’ve grown attached to her, which is good. Because I want nothing more for my daughter other than to be happy. And I’ll make sure to give her all the happiness in the world. Even if it means being alone. 

.

.

.

A cry filled in the delivery room, I finally felt my muscles let loose, and I saw the doctors wiping my daughter clean. Then they handed her to me. Hair as red as mine, I can already see the resemblance of her father on her face. The nose, the eyes, the eyelashes if Rin were to see her, he would immediately ask whether she was his.

The second I held her, I fell in love. Because everything was gonna change now, I won't be alone, she’ll be with me through everything. I don’t even care if Rin knows or not, as long as she’s with me. 

After a few minutes, they started cleaning me up, and they took my baby to the monitor room. When they left the nurse asked what her name was gonna be. 

“Rei” 

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[megxplryxb]

As Bad As You Are

I tapped my nails nervously on the back of my iphone as our uber approached the driveway of an all too familiar house. I bit my lip and closed my eyes thinking about the last time I was here. I swore I'd never be back here. But I'd said that before and here I was...again. This time would be different though. I was stronger, smarter and more importantly, I was no longer his little toy to play with when he was bored.

"Dude are you ok?" Tara asked squeezing my hand as a concerned Devyn turned her head back from the passenger seat.

"Mmhmm." Is all I could manage to mumble out as I gave the girls a reassuring smile. I had to get my shit together and fast. I had been cool about this all day but now as the driver slowed down and suddenly stopped right outside the front door my stomach began to do flips. It always happened when I knew he was close by. Fuck.

We paid for the uber and made our way to the house. "Damn, are we late?" Devyn questioned hearing the loudness of the party through the inside of the door.

"I don't think so. Jake said ten right?" I questioned looking at Tara who rolled her eyes.

"Yeah but Jake's a fucking idiot. He's lucky he's hot or I'd be so done with his stupid shit." She huffed as we laughed. She always said that but we all knew she loved Jake more than anything. Must be nice. Just as we were about to knock on the door it opened in front of us. My heart skipped a beat as I waited to see who was going to be the one to greet us. Please don't be him. Anyone but him.

"Oooooooh! Look who it is!" Sam yelled excitedly running straight to me and lifting me in to a huge bear hug.

"Hey Sammy, happy birthday!" I smiled hugging him back feeling pure relief that it was Sam who had answered the door to us. I had missed him so much.

"Yeah happy birthday Sam!" The girls echoed before making their way through the party to find their respective boyfriends.

"I didn't even know you were back from the big apple. Did you just get here?" He questioned as I nodded a yes. Liar. I closed my eyes knowing I had just lied to Sam. I had been home for a couple of weeks but I wasn't ready to see everyone. I wasn't ready to see him.

"Wow, I'm so glad you're here. I thought you'd be too embarrassed to hang with us now that you're famous." He nudged.

"Sam, I starred in a music video, not a Hollywood movie. Plus you're way more famous than I am." I stated as he shook his head.

"You starred in a music video for a song that you wrote the lyrics to. That's a pretty big deal." Sam said taking a drink from the red cup he was holding. "Kat's gonna freak when she sees her bestie!"  She wasn't the only one.

"KATRINA!" Sam called out as my pink haired best friend skipped through the hallway. Her eyes widening in shock as she saw me standing there.

"Look who it is!" Sam grinned like a child.

"Surprise!" I shouted.

"Oh my god! You're back!" She said jumping in to my arms almost making me lose my balance.

"I'm gonna get you a drink. Just the usual?" Sam asked as I nodded.

"You know it." I smiled politely as Katrina continued to wrap herself around me.

"Is he gone?" She whispered.

"All clear." I giggled as she finally let me go. "Do you think he bought it?" I asked as we both fixed our outfits. "Of course." Sam has no idea you've been back for a while. I promise."

"Thanks for not saying anything." I said wrapping my arm around her. Kat had been the only one out of the whole group to know that I had been home for a bit longer than I let on. She was also the only one who knew why I had stayed away so long in the first place.

"What are best friends for?

"The place looks great. You did such a good job decorating." I stated looking at all the balloons and banners Kat had bought for Sam's birthday. She had been talking about it for so long. She just wanted to give Sam the best night possible.

" I'm so glad you came." Kat grinned placing her head on my shoulder.

"I promised you didn't I? Plus I wouldn't let Sam down. I couldn't hide away for the rest of my life because of....." I paused.

"I know." She whispered holding my hand.

"Here you go ladies!" Sam danced over to us with our drinks placing his arms around both of our shoulders.

"Thank's babe." Kat said kissing him on the cheek. "You're the best Sammy." I said cuddling in to him. As one of his oldest friends I was one of only a few people that always got away with calling him Sammy.

"Am I allowed to say how hot she looks right now?" Sam asked Kat who playfully shoved him towards me. "I think you just did!"

"Sam are you drunk?" I questioned as he looked at me offended. "Why do I have to be drunk to say that you look good?" He fought back. "You do look hot girl." Kat admitted sipping her drink.

"Boy I can't wait to see Nate and Colby fight over you later." Sam joked as I shifted uncomfortably hearing the name of the boy I was trying desperately to forget about.

"Hey babe, I think I heard the door. You should go get it." Kat said pushing Sam towards the door as she caught my hand and led me to a quieter part of the house. "I'm sorry about that." She said with concern in her eyes.

"Kat stop! It's fine honestly. I have to get used to this again. Hearing his name, seeing him. I mean I'm in his fucking house." I said placing my hands on my head.

"He is gonna drop dead when he sees you though." Kat said giving me an evil grin. I laughed a little shaking my head. I wouldn't admit it to anyone but a part of me was aiming to show him what he was missing. I was wearing a little black off the shoulder dress with black fishnet tights. I knew I looked good, I knew exactly what to wear to make him crazy, what not to wear to make him even crazier. I wanted to bring him to his knees like he had done to me.

"Where is he anyway?"

"Upstairs."

"Oh." I laughed rolling my eyes. Typical.

"He's not with anyone if that's what you're thinking. He's finishing up some editing. Actually, Sam mentioned he hasn't seen him with anyone since before you left. That's a long ass time for Colby to go without hooking up." Kat confessed. She was right. Colby had a new girl almost every night.

"Doesn't matter to me anymore. Tonight isn't about him. It's about Sam so let's go find him and get drunk." I said taking her hand as we made our way to find her boyfriend. 

A couple of drinks later and I was finally starting to relax. Corey and I had just beaten Jake and Tara at beer pong and we were happily sitting on the kitchen counter taking shots and selfies.

"That's a good one. That's going on insta right now!" He announced uploading the photo and tagging me. "Yeah I liked that, its cute." I agreed.

"Have you seen Colby yet?" Corey asked as I took a shot and shook my head. "Not yet." Hopefully never.

"Well he's gonna be stoked to see you. You don't wanna know how many times I caught him stalking your socials." Corey said stuffing his face with a pizza roll. I looked at him in shock. He had to be messing with me.

"What?"

"Yeah seriously bro."

"Shut up." I half laughed pushing him."

"Dude, for real. I teased him about it once and he got really fucking defensive too." Corey said shaking his head. "Did I miss something? Is there something going on between you two?"

"Are you serious?" Me and...? Why can't I say his name? "No. God no." I chuckled playing with my hair.

"Ok, but I could have sworn......You know what, forget it." He said blushing.

"Forget what?"

"Nothing." He laughed as his eyes widened.

"Corey?" You asserted as he rubbed the back of his neck nervously chuckling. "I could have sworn I walked in on him......jerking off....."

"And? I'm sure that's happened more than once you do live in a house full of testosterone" I teased.

"Yeah but....I'm pretty sure it was to the music video.....you were in." Corey admitted as I almost choked on my drink.

"Okay now I know you're joking because that hasn't even been released yet." I confirmed crossing my legs.

"Wait, you didn't send it to him?" Corey questioned as I shook my head. Surely this was a prank.

"Why would I send...You're messing with me right now."

"Bro I swear down!" He said holding up his hands. "If it helps you looked fucking incredible in it..you and that guy had some amazing chemistry and choreography." Fuck my life. I cringed thinking about Corey and the others watching that video. I was practically in my lingerie for the whole thing.

"That doesn't help Corey." I fumed.

"Sorry but I really thought you sent it to Colby."

"I need another drink." I admitted jumping off the counter finding a bottle of vodka on the island and walking outside to the pool area for some air. I took a swig from the half full bottle as I tried to calm myself down because tonight was Sam's night and I wasn't going to let Colby ruin it. Not for Sam, not for Kat, not for me. I hadn't even seen him yet and somehow he had still managed to make himself known. A part of me wanted to leave but I knew I couldn't. The stronger part of me knew that if I did, I was back to square one again. Running from him wasn't an option anymore. I'd both been there and done that.

"It cant be...." I heard a voice gasp behind me. I hadn't even fully turned around before I was swept off of my feet and begin spun around.

"It is you!" The long haired brunette cried excitedly. 

"Nate stop! Do you want me to get sick all over you?" I yelped closing my eyes until the spinning was over.

"I'm sorry I just..I didn't even know you were back!" He said pulling me in for a hug. I wrapped my hands around his waist keeping him close for a moment. Nate was great. He was one of my favourite people in the whole world. Plus he was incredibly sexy. He had asked me out a long time ago but I turned him down because... Well because I was sleeping with Colby and although it wasn't a relationship and we were seeing other people our friends were off limits. That was one of the "rules".

"Yeah I just got back a few days ago." I said as we finally parted.

"Well you look good. I mean.. you look way better than good, you look uhhh." He looked at me sighing heavily as he rubbed the back of his head. "You look hot...I mean...you look beautiful." He admitted as I blushed and laughed at the same time.

"Thanks Nate. You don't look so bad yourself." I confessed as we stood silently for a moment.

"So...you planning to drink all that by yourself?" He asked pointing to the vodka bottle in my hands.

"That was the plan but seeing as I like you I guess we can share." I winked. The air had started to hit me hard and I could feel the alcohol start to take over.

"Awesome."

"We should dance." I suggested grabbing his hand and taking him back in to the house where people were dancing.

"I'm not very good at this." He said throwing back some vodka.

"Nate, you're a singer. If you can sing, you can dance." I argued as he laughed. We spent the next few minutes dancing with Corey, Jake, Devyn, Tara, Kat and Sam. All of us taking pictures and videos on our phones. Kat grabbed me as we danced together while she was on Instagram live. "Myyyyy bestie is sexxxxxy." She slurred in to her phone kissing me on the cheek. We continued dancing to the loud music until I heard Sam yell.

"Yooooooo!"

It sent a sudden shiver down my spine because I knew what it meant. I could already feel his presence. I turned around to see him slowly walk down the stairs with a glass of Jack Daniels in his hands, wearing a black tank top that tightly carved his abs through the material, his signature black pants and vans. Well he's still fucking beautiful.

"About time brother!" Sam shouted embracing his best friend as Kat grabbed my hand tightly. I smiled gratefully at Kat. I could see that she thought I was going to fall to pieces upon seeing Colby again but truthfully, I just wanted to hurt him. Like he had hurt me. Maybe it was the alcohol but I had so much anger built up inside of me and it had only gotten worse since Corey had told me about the video. Who did he actually think he was?

"Sorry brother but one of us had to work on your birthday. I'm working on catching up though." He grinned downing the glass of jack with ease as he took his final steps down the stairs. He still hadn't seen me as he walked with Sam over to the group.

"Just so you know Nate's been dancin' with your girl bro.." Sam joked patting Colby on the head.

"Who's my gi......" Colby froze finally seeing Nate and I leaning against the wall. This was it. I could either walk away or I could face him. I bit my lip in contemplation before choosing the latter. 

"Hey stranger." I smiled sweetly pulling him in for a hug. Thank god for alcohol.

"Hey!" He said wrapping his muscular arms around me. "Long time no see." He muttered still holding me in his grip.

"You can say that again." I said as he finally let go. A silence grew amongst the group and I could only guess that they could sense a change between Colby and I. I didn't exactly jump in to his arms as I would've usually done when I got back from work trips that were long than a couple of days. "More shots!" Katrina called nervously sensing the uncomfortable vibe between myself and Colby.

"Fuck yes! Time to get you shit faced brother!" Jake yelled grabbing Colby by the shoulders. His eyes never leaving me as he was being pulled away.

"You ok?" Kat whispered.

"Totally." I smiled as we walked back towards the kitchen where the guys were taking shots.

"Did you guys get one for us?" Kat huffed as Nate turned around with two shots.

"I knew we could count on Nate." Kat smile batting her eyes playfully at Nate.

"Such a gentleman." I flirted standing beside him. I could see Colby gritting his teeth from the corner of my eye. He really hated me flirting with Nate. "You can't fuck any of my friends. Especially Nate. I know he's in to you." I don't know why it bothered him so much. Colby had made it clear he didn't want a relationship with me so I could never understand why it bothered him that Nate was in to me, if he really was.

"Ok. We ready? Happy Birthday Sam!" Colby shouted downing the shot as we all repeated his sentiments before swallowing our own.

"Oh and welcome back!" Colby said winking at me taking a swig straight from the bottle of whiskey.

"Thanks Cole." I smirked. Asshole.

2 hours or so had passed and I had managed to avoid having to talk to Colby again. At least we were being somewhat civil for Sam's sake because neither of us wanted anyone else to know that things were not okay between us. I looked around at the house and yard thinking about all the memories I had here. All my favourites being with Colby. All my worst being with him too. No matter where I went in this house I could tell a story about something we had done. This was where we had first kissed without it being a dare or us being drunk. It was where we had slept together for the first but not for the last time. It was where I realised what I felt for Colby wasn't just lust anymore and that I was falling in love with him. Something we promised we wouldn't let happen. A promise I wasn't able to keep.

I sat on the sunbed by the pool texting on my phone when I felt a body take a seat beside me.

"So are we gonna cut the friendly bullshit now that no ones around?" Colby questioned his blue eyes piercing me with sheer cockiness.

"Gladly." I replied not looking up from my phone.

"Good cause its exhausting." He sighed as I locked my phone getting up from where I was sitting not willing to give him the argument I knew he was looking for.

"Trust me, If it wasn't Sam's birthday I wouldn't waste an ounce of oxygen on you." I stated smugly walking back in to the house and away from him.

"Hey, I've been looking for you." Nate said walking towards me. "I've just been around." I smiled refusing to show any pain or anger.

"Were you with Colby all this time?" He asked with a slight frown pointing towards Colby who was still sitting where I had been, looking directly at us.

"No I haven't really spoken to him all night."

"Are you guys ok? Usually at a party I can't get you away from him." Nate questioned as I looked back at Colby.

"I guess, things change." I admitted shrugging my shoulders. "Do you wanna...." He choked for a second trying to finish his sentence. "Dance with me again? We didn't get to finish the last one?" He asked as I smiled and took his hand and guided him to the floor once more.

I wrapped my arms around his neck as we danced to the beat of the music. He stood nervously until I laughed. "You can put your hands on my waist Nate. I don't bite." He chuckled and slowly placed his hands on me. The floor began filling up as more and more people joined the party. Kat shot me a cheeky grin as she danced with Sam.

"Are you having a good time?" Nate asked as I nodded.

"Of course. Are you?"

"The best." He admitted grinning like an idiot.

"Good." I said hugging him tightly before we went back to dancing. Babydoll by Ari Abdul played through the speakers as I froze... That was our song...the song that was playing the first time Colby and I decided to become more than friends but less than a couple.

"Good you're so fucking beautiful..."He whispered kissing my collarbone as I closed my eyes.

"Colby... I don't want to ruin our friendship. I can't lose you like that." I admitted biting my bottom lip, placing my hands gently on his chest.

"We were never just friends, you have to know that." Colby whispered lightly pressing his lips to mine.

"Hey you ok?" Nate asked waving a hand over my face escaping me from my thoughts.

"Yeah, sorry I just got lost there for a second." I said reassuring him. I closed my eyes trying not to think about what this song had represented. What it had meant to me. Just then I felt someone burning a hole through me from somewhere in the room. I opened my eyes to see Colby staring straight at me leaning against the wall with a bottle of jack in his hand. He gave me a strange smirk and nodded at me never moving his eyes away from me. He couldn't possibly remember this song...could he? Colby didn't think like that. He wasn't sentimental. That wasn't him. Why did I even care? Why did I want to know if he remembered? Why was I still thinking about him when Nate was in front of me? Why hadn't I looked away from Colby yet? What the fuck was I doing?

"Hey ,can I ask.." Oh no.... "Nate I'm sorry. I just need a minute." I said quickly pulling away from him and headed towards the bathroom. I felt a hand reach for me, the cold clad rings were all too familiar on my skin.

"I could be wrong but I think you had more fun with me the last time you heard that song." He did remember...

"Fuck you." I spat.

"That you did." He grinned smugly. I wanted to slap him. I ripped my arm from his grip and slammed the bathroom door shut before I shed any tears in front of him. I took a deep breath as I leaned over the sink. Do not cry. Do not cry. You will not waste any more tears on him. I took a couple of more deep breaths as I got my composure back.

"Fuck this." I cursed looking at myself in the mirror. I had enough of feeling this way, being treated this way by someone I would have once given my all to. This wasn't the Colby I had known for years before we started this toxic relationship. I wasn't who I used to be either and I needed to find her again. My blood was boiling as I exited the bathroom. All I could see was red as I went in search for Colby. It didn't take me long as I walked towards him and the black haired girl he was flirting with. I grabbed his arm and began to pull him away as the girl tried to grab him back. "Wait your turn bitch." She spat as I grinned looking at Colby. "Oh I've been waiting for this for a long time."

She tried to grab my arm but I shot her a killer look. "FUCK. OFF." I warned as she finally walked away defeated. I continued dragging Colby up the stairs and towards his bedroom. I could see Nate frowning at me as he watched Colby and I make our way up the steps. "You know I'm pretty sure your boyfriend saw you pulling me up here. I don't think he's gonna be too happy." Colby teased in my ear as I shoved him hard shutting the door behind me.

"What is your problem!?" I screamed. I knew the music was too loud for anybody to hear me and I couldn't wait any longer.

"What's yours?" He fought back.

"I'm looking at him."

"I love it when you're feisty." Colby grinned trying to cup my face, the smell of alcohol lingered on his breath as I slapped his hand away.

"Don't. Don't you dare touch me."

"You never complained before."

"This is all just a game to you isn't it? You just get off on hurting people."

"You used to get off on me hurting you too." He teased moving boldly closer towards me.

"How fucked up must I have been?" I admitted standing my ground. I sensed he could see the seriousness in my eyes because he took a step backwards.

"Why are you here?" He questioned as I raised an eyebrow. "Because it's Sam's..."

"No. Why are you here with me...right now?" He challenged folding his arms.

"Because you've treated me like shit for too long and I'm over it."

"And you had to drag me all the way to my bedroom to tell me that?"

"I'm not going to fight with you down there and ruin Sam's night. Unlike you I actually take other people in to consideration."

"You sure it wasn't to get me away from the girl downstairs?" Colby quizzed as I scoffed. "I'd be doing her a favour."

"You never could hide your jealousy."

"And what about you huh? Like you haven't been watching me all night with Nate." I teased as his face changed.

"If that's what you need to believe to make yourself feel better then by all means..." He replied trying to act unbothered but I knew Colby better than that. His whole demeanour changed at the mention of Nate's name.

"It still gets to you doesn't it? That I could have him in a heartbeat."

"You don't want Nate. You never did." Colby stated confidently.

"How would you know what I want?"

"If you wanted Nate you'd be downstairs with him. But here you are in my bedroom with me." He grinned.

"You're so cocky. It's sickening."

"I always thought that was one of the things you loved about me?"

"I don't love anything about you. I can't even stand being around you anymore."

"Oh so that's why you've been lying about being in New York still when you actually got home almost two weeks ago. Because of me?" I paused for a slight second wondering how he knew I had been home. I knew Kat would never tell him and she was the only one I had told. Then it hit me. Colby knew the producer of the music video I had appeared in. That's how he knew I was home and more importantly that's how he got his hands on the music video before it was officially released.

"You know what? You're right. You are the reason and what makes me sick is that you look almost proud of the fact that you pushed me so far away. You were my best friend!" I yelled. I didn't care anymore. I needed to let it out. The hurt, the frustration..."I made such a mistake in thinking sleeping with you wouldn't change anything between us. I thought I was strong enough to just hook up with you and not feel anything."

"I always told you I didn't want a relationship."

"Yeah you did. But you also made it impossible for me to be with anyone else. Every time I tried to walk away you let me believe that we could be more and I fell for it every single time."

"I'm sorry that I didn't feel that way about you." Colby mumbled looking to the floor as I couldn't hold back a laugh.

"You know, I really believed you didn't feel anything for me. You did such a good job pushing me away, saying all the right things to hurt me and boy did you hurt me." I paused for a moment. "But I see how you look at me or how you don't look at me, like right now. Because a part of you knows that you feel something for me and it terrifies you." I said confidently.

"You think you've got it all figured out huh? You don't know anything! I don't feel anything for you and I never did. You were just a good fuck...helped pass the time." Colby shrugged but I knew him better than that. Everything was starting to make sense now.

"That why you haven't been with anyone else since I left? Because they weren't as good a fuck as I was? Or was it just the fact that they actually weren't me Colby?" I asked finally letting his name escape my lips. His blue eyes widened as he pushed his body against mine. "You really think you're that fucking special?" I swallowed hard pushing my body right back on his, never taking my eyes off of his.

"Special enough for you to jerk off watching a video of me instead of just fucking someone else." I whispered as Colby stood in silence tensing his body.

"Yeah, I know things too Colby. So go ahead, down a few more glasses of jack and maybe you'll get drunk enough to find a girl who resembles me just a little bit because I promise you that is as close as you'll ever get to me again." I stated pushing him away and grabbing the door knob when I felt him grab my hand.

"You really must hate me." He muttered as I pulled my hand away. Why did his touch still set my skin on fire? I opened the door and leaned my head against the side looking at him one final time.

"No Colby, I just hate myself for still loving you" I admitted my eyes welling up with tears as I finally turned away from him and the toxic relationship that had cost me a friendship which had meant more to me than anything. 

I walked down the stairs in what felt like slow motion steps looking up when I heard my name being called.

"I was about to send a search party for you." Nate smiled taking my hand and guiding me down the last few steps of the stairs. I smiled at the boy standing before me wondering why I had always chosen Colby over him.

"Aww were you worried about me?" I teased wrapping my arms around his neck but I could sense a hesitation in his body language.

"I saw you go upstairs with Colby and I just assumed you guys were...hooking up." Nate frowned rubbing the back of his head.

"We weren't hooking up. We just needed to talk about some stuff." I reassured him with a smile.

Suddenly there was a loud crash upstairs in what sounded like a mirror smashing in to a thousand pieces.

"What the hell was that?" Sam shouted from the hallway as he began to run for the stairs. "Colby what the fuck happened dude?" I heard Sam yell from the top of the stairs. "Woah woah!" Sam yelled as Colby pushed his way down the stairs. I could see blood dripping from Colby's hand and it was all but confirmed that he had punched the mirror upstairs.

"Colby, you ok man?" Nate asked concerned as Colby paused to look directly at me. I said nothing. "Colby, what happened bro?" Nate spoke again as Colby finally broke his gaze from mine. "Like you give a shit "bro"." Colby spat heading for the front door and slamming it behind him. Sam stood in shock as Kat put her arm around him. "I should go after him." Sam spoke clearly upset by the sudden situation. "Babe, maybe leave him be for a while huh?" Kat suggested but Jake headed for the door and began to follow him ignoring everyone else.

"You wanna go after him?" Nate asked as I was still looking at the door. I was holding every inch of my body back from going with Jake to find Colby.

"N...no. I don't."

"I'm assuming the stuff you had to talk about didn't go so well?" Nate questioned as I frowned.

"No. Not really. But he's not my problem Nate. I'm right where I want to be." I said smiling at Nate who lifted my arms from around his neck and pulled away. I frowned seeing the look that was now firmly across his face.

"I can't."

"Can't what?" I asked as he shook his head.

"Can't be here, can't be with you." He said placing his hands on his head.

"Why not?"

"Because whatever is going on between you and Colby is way too complicated for me to get involved in."

"There's nothing going on between me and Colby!"

"I really want to believe that."

"Then believe it. Nate you know I like you."

"And you know I like you too. Christ! I've wanted you to like me for so long, to look at me the way you looked at Colby."

"But you're not Colby!" I smiled trying to cup his face.

"Exactly! And I never will be." He yelled letting out a sigh. Just then the door opened and Jake walked in with Colby in tow. Nate shook his head and laughed catching Colby's eyes move straight towards me again. He grabbed my hand and kissed it before he reached for his jacket and headed towards the open front door. He stood beside Colby and smiled pointing at me.

"You're his girl. Always have been. Always will be." He said as Colby and I looked at each other. "Maybe it's time you both just admit that your feelings for each other go way past hatred, friendship or fucking. Just figure it out before it completely fucks you both up." Nate said exiting the house as we stood in utter silence.

"I knew they were screwing!" Jake yelled excitedly breaking the silence between Colby and I as the rest of the trap house family remained in complete shock.

Looks like I was just as messed up as Colby after all.