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rising-volteccers · 24 days

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I've been working on this piece slowly over a few months and finally had the motivation to complete it. This is just a self indulgent piece on the aftermath of HZ044-HZ045. Obvious spoilers for those episodes of course. I'm a bit rusty but hopefully it's still an enjoyable read!

Series: Pokemon Horizons

Characters: Friede, Orla (Major) | Mollie, Murdock, Cap (Minor)

Warnings: Description of a character experiencing a panic attack

---

It's only after the kids have retired for the night that Friede calls for a private meeting. He doesn't have to elaborate on its reason, a quiet sort of understanding prevalent as they all made their way to the meeting room.

Friede doesn't immediately enter once everyone else does. He stands outside, forehead pressed against the cool wall as he breathes deeply. Once, twice, three times. When he feels a little more centered, that's when Friede slips into the room.

Four sets of eyes turn to him. Graciously, no one comments on the tightness around his own eyes, the way his assuring smile is simply a knee jerk reaction in the face of trouble. It takes a moment for Friede to remember that he doesn't have to, and the smile drops.

Friede gracelessly drops onto his chair. Cap joins him moments later. Usually he perches on Friede's shoulder but his partner, likely sensing the heavy atmosphere, opts to stand on the table instead so he can get a proper view of everyone.

Heavy frowns marred all of their features. No one speaks for a good while, as if fearful of what'll spill out the moment this tentative silence is shattered. The Copperajah in the room is something that needed to be discussed but…

“... I'm glad that you're all alright,” Friede finally whispers. He can't easily shake off the pure dread upon seeing Rayquaza crash into the ship, to see the Brave Olivine fall out of the sky and towards the ocean. If not for Murdock's skill in making an emergency landing and his assuring call afterwards, he wouldn't have been able to focus on the immediate danger in front of him.

“Yeah, us too,” Orla responds steadily. Friede doesn't realize that his fists are clenched until Murdock's warm hand settles atop of them. Friede breathes out, recalls the exercise Mollie taught him.

In for four, hold for seven, release for eight. Repeat until his head clears up.

Friede is grateful that they give him the time to ease himself back into someone that's not crumbling around the edges. That's better left in private, after he can have a moment to really let the severity of what happened sink in.

Right now, Friede has to pull himself into the leader of the Rising Volt Tacklers. They're turning to him for support and he'll do his best to become their pillar.

“Okay, so. How badly damaged is the ship?” Friede asks, turning his attention to Orla.

“I'll need time to properly assess it but it's bad enough that we won't be able to fly any time soon,” she replies, lips set into a thin frown. “This isn't like patching up holes. We just about fixed the damage done by that Orthworm last time but the damage here is to the balloon itself, not the ship.”

“Alright, so we're grounded until the balloon can be fixed. At least the ship can sail, so I'll see about getting permission to dock the ship at one of Levincia’s ports.” Friede supposed if there's one thing to be grateful for, is that they’re already close to a major city so that repairs can go underway as soon as Orla gets a full assessment.

“How are the Pokemon? No one sustained any injuries?” Friede turns his attention to Mollie next.

“All of them are understandably shaken. It's different from turbulence,” Mollie responds, leaning back against her chair. “Some stuff fell off the shelves but none of it hit the Pokemon. Chansey made sure to keep everyone calm while we made multiple trips towards land.”

“Good, good,” he mutters. It guts him inside to put the Pokemon through such a harrowing experience but at the very least, they’re in good hands with Mollie. Friede will bring Charizard to her later for a check-up.

Friede asks a few more questions about affected areas within the Brave Olivine before they tackle the next course of action: the repairs needed to be done.

“Orla, is the damage something you’re able to fix by yourself?” Friede questions.

She hums, arms crossed as her brows furrow in deep thought. “It’s definitely the most damage the ship’s experienced so far, and while I’ll need to get a good, proper look, I think I can fix it.”

That is gladdening news, even if it’s hard for Friede to feel properly happy about it. “Right. You’ll be having your hands full with it. As for the rest of us, we’re going to have to find ways in drumming up funds for the repair.” It’s not going to be cheap, that’s for certain.

��I know I saw an ad before in the city,” Murdock pipes up, having stayed silent for most of the conversation earlier. “About part-time work at Patisserie Soapberry in Cortondo. The bakery owned by Katy, the Gym Leader there.”

“I can do private consultations,” Mollie adds. “If we’re going to be grounded for a while, I can set something up on the ship. That, or I’ll do online consultations if safety’s a concern.”

“And I can offer online classes or take up researching gigs,” Friede says. “Or take on whatever jobs we get.”

“That sounds good. Though, now the question is what are the kids going to do?” Murdock’s sporting a deep frown now. “I don’t want them to get bored staying here when we’re doing work.”

“Don’t worry about that.” For the first time since this meeting started, Friede’s lips from a small smile. “They’ve expressed interest in learning about Terastallization. I know someone that I can contact with so they can learn just that.”

He’s going to be pretty busy in the coming days. People to contact, plans to hash out, things to do. Nothing left to do but go at it full steam ahead if he wants the Brave Olivine to be airborne again.

Seeing that it’s been a long, stressful day for everyone, Friede won’t hold them up any longer. He hangs back long enough to pass Charizard’s Pokeball to Mollie before returning back to his room with Cap trailing behind him.

Inside, he finds the aftermath of such a violent collision. Anything that’s not taped down is strewn all over the floor. Fallen over books and research papers that are going to be a pain to rearrange greets him.

Friede sighs deeply. He wants nothing more than to fall onto his bed and sleep but his head is still buzzing with all sorts of thoughts, wanting nothing more than to scratch the itch to be productive. He knows that he’ll feel much better later if he begins the task of cleaning his room up now.

After he hangs up his jacket and rolls up the sleeves of his shirt, Friede gets to work.

------

It hits Friede thirty minutes later.

The mildly buzzing thoughts rush to the front of his mind all at once. A heavy weight drops in his stomach like an anvil. While he knows what’s happening logically, he's still powerless to stop his own spiraling.

“Pika?”

Friede has experienced freefall before. Reckless flights on Charizard in his younger years meant instances where he flew too close to the sun. His body is like that right now, floaty in a way that gives him little control. Tremors ripple down his arms, causing his hands to start shaking.

“Pikapi? Pika!”

Things could have gone terribly wrong. Every time he blinks, the scene plays out behind closed eyelids. The Brave Olivine with a gaping wound to its side falling into the ocean, most of the occupants inside powerless to do anything.

He was powerless to do anything.

Friede thinks Cap's trying to catch his attention. It's hard to tell over his increasingly labored breaths. He wants to carefully place the book down in a last ditch effort to exert control but he knows it's not working.

Sadly, this isn't an unfamiliar sensation. Friede remembers the long and terrible nights where he questions his purpose in life, his brilliant mind viciously turning in on itself. All the times where he shook beneath the covers, grounded only by Charizard's head resting atop his legs. His partner is being checked up at the moment by Mollie after–everything.

Friede hates the cold but the trembles wracking his frame isn't caused by it. Muscle spasms perhaps from the sheer effort, futile as it is, to fight off his own thoughts and feelings. He sucks in air through the tiniest straw in the world and wheezes out a pathetic breath.

I should probably sit down, Friede thinks distantly, eyes flickering down towards his trembling hands. He quietly pleads for his emotions to give him more time to–not think about the memories that are coming out of their hiding place. Shoved to the darkest corners in the heat of the moment, prioritizing what’s in front of him (of Roy and Liko and Dot’s safety) instead of–

The Brave Olivine is fallingfallingfalling he’s not able to do ANYTHING but watch as his friendsfamilyhome falls out of the sky and they’re going to sink in the ocean they’re going to die–

Friede bites his lips, nails biting into the palm of his hands as he hunches over. His vision darkens, white sparks flashing behind closed eyelids from how tightly he squeezes them shut. His shaky legs stumble back, and he trips over nothing before he falls heavily onto his bed. A soft cry slips out when pain erupts from the back of his head as it smacks against the wall but he barely registers it. He’s too busy fighting back the stupid panic clawing at his chest, knowing that he’s being an idiot cause he’s fine, they’re all fine and well and present and they discussed on what to do so there’s no reason to dwell on it anymore.

Yet his ever traitorous mind keeps spinning what-ifs, of scenarios gone horribly, tragically wrong. People he’d have to contact, to comfort, to accept all the vitriol and hate from because he’s the leader so all of their safety should have been his top priority. Friede trusts his friends explicitly but he imagines they’d have regretted placing their trust on him. Can visually see their fear and terror and despair over having followed him in the first place cause now it’ll result in their untimely end.

Friede’s eyes burn. Amidst the sharp panic, he distantly feels a bitter anger growing in himself, at himself, and it’s not helping any. His chest hurt, his head ached, his everything is one giant mass of agony. He hates it. Hates it so so much cause now he’s being reminded just how much it hurts to be afraid.

Above all else, Friede is afraid. Terrified. He’s faced the world with reckless abandon that seeing how his world can easily crumble is a harsh smack to the face.

He whines softly. Unsure whether the chill he feels now is real, Friede still tries to pull his blanket up to cover himself, hoping that the soft fabric is able to secure him in a way that he’s incapable of. His shaky hands struggle to get a solid grip, and for some reason, this small inconvenience is what finally made the tears bubble over.

Arceus, this is such a stupid thing to cry over. (In between choked sobs, he fights for air). Friede’s just making a mountain out of an Excadrill hill. (He’s convinced he’s drowning). Everyone’s fine. (He feels lightheaded). The ship is grounded and in need of repairs but with Orla’s handiwork, it’ll be fit to sail in no time. (Black spots dances around his vision). He’s fine so why is he–?

“Friede!”

Warm hands gently enveloped his tight fists. A soft voice gently shushes into his ears.

“It’s going to be alright.” One of his hands is maneuvered into pressing against a soft surface. Vaguely, he feels the gentle rise and fall beneath his palm.

“Try and follow my breathing, okay?”

As he blinks waterlogged eyes, the orange blob slowly sharpens into a familiar face. It’s Orla, sweet, kind Orla who’s looking at him with such soft concern in her eyes.

Friede doesn’t deserve it. She would have been in the engine room, the first place that would’ve exploded had the ship crashed. The thought causes his breath to hitch, triggering a fit of watery coughs that renewed his tears.

“O-Orla,” he gasps. “I’m–I’m so s-sorry–”

“Shh, none of that now,” Orla gently shushes him. “Just focus on my breathing, okay? I know you can do it. In… Out… In… Out…”

He still desperately wants to apologize but the want to appease her is stronger. So Friede tries his best to follow along. He feels her drawing in a long, deep breath, holding it for a few seconds before slowly exhaling. Orla repeats this for the next couple of minutes, purposefully exaggerating the sound of each inhale and exhale so Friede can more easily follow along.

Friede focuses everything into following along, and soon enough he’s doing it more of his own volition than simply copying Orla’s motions. Slowly but surely, his mind winds down from the nigh high panic it was in before. At some point, one of Orla’s hands gently settles on the nape of his sweaty neck, easing his head down into resting atop her chest.

Orla’s steady heartbeat further grounds him. It enables him to focus on the fact that she’s alive, unlike what his mind tries to claim earlier. Friede sighs quietly, frozen in this position for what feels like hours until Orla speaks up.

“Hey, are you back with me now?”

“Yeah,” he mouths, then clears his throat to say in a steadier voice. “Yeah, ‘m good now.”

Orla hums in response, and while she seems content to leave him like this for as long as he wants, Friede now feels the deep pangs of shame hitting him. Biting his inner cheek, he slowly pushes himself off of Orla, quickly turning his head to swipe at his eyes. It’s a feeble attempt of regaining back his tattered pride, not when a brief glance at her showcases the evidence of his breakdown on her shirt.

“So… I’d ask if you’re alright but–” Orla gestures lightly between the two of them. “–I’m guessing that’s not the case.”

“I’m sorry,” Friede coughs, feelings his cheeks burn in embarrassment. “I–I didn’t expect you to…”

“Oh, Cap came to get me,” Orla says, sporting a faint smile. “He seems–insistent that I follow him, so I did. And I’m glad.”

Right, Cap would do that. His partner always looked out for him, and in a situation where he’s unable to Volt Tackle his way through, it’s reasonable to assume that he’ll seek out someone who can deal with the issue.

Friede’s grateful, even if it’s something that he’ll realize much later. Right now, he’s battling both shame and exhaustion. His brows furrow from the stress of it all, but they smoothed out when Orla pressed her finger against his forehead.

“I can practically hear the gears turning in that big noggin’ of yours,” she states. “Whatever it is, stop it. I know you’re going to just work yourself up again.”

Her light tone manages to make the corners of his lip quirk up. Friede’s eyes shift downwards and to the right, unable to properly meet her gaze.

“Heh, you know me well.” The faint smile drops moments later. He’s quiet for awhile, and Orla seems to understand that he needs time to regroup his thoughts. Once again, Friede’s grateful, even if there’s a part of him that thinks it’s undeserved.

“Look, with what happened today…” Friede swallows through the heavy lump in his throat. “It… it could’ve ended up a lot worse than it did. I’m sorry, it’s all my fau–hey!”

The sudden flick to his forehead cuts off his apology. Friede instinctively covers the sting with his hand, looking confused at Orla.

Orla gazes back, nods once before lowering her hand. She crosses her arms. “Sorry but it sounded to me that you were trying to apologize for something that was completely out of your power.”

“But–”

“Nu-uh. All of us agreed to go. We all understood the risks of going up against the Explorers and Rayquaza.”

“Yes, but–”

“What happened was something no one could’ve expected. The ship suffered damage but everyone got out of it safely, did we not?”

“Yeah but it–”

“Should be all that matters, yes? Then I don’t see why–”

“Because you all trusted me, okay!?” Friede doesn’t mean to raise his voice but it does surprise Orla into silence. He covers half of his face with his hand, heaving out a deep sigh. “I’m the captain of the Rising Volt Tacklers. All of you trusted me and that trust nearly got you all killed.”

Friede closes his eyes, unwilling to see what kind of expression Orla makes. That only serves to make him vulnerable to the next flick on his forehead, this one seemingly harder than the last.

“Ow! Why do you keep doing that!?” Friede’s a bit annoyed now, gaze narrowing at Orla.

“It’s because someone’s being an idiot right now,” Orla replies, meeting his eyes with an unimpressed look of her own. “Look, do you trust me to make sure the ship’s engine runs smoothly?”

“Yeah?” Despite the confused note to it, he responds without any hesitation.

“Do you trust Mollie to look after the Pokemon in the event of an emergency?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay, then do you trust Murdock to steer the ship in the event that you’re unable to?”

“Of course.”

“So we trusted you to look after the kids and deal with whatever trouble that came their way, simple as that,” Orla concluded. “I can confidently say that as infuriating as you can get, no one here regrets trusting you Friede.”

Stunned into silence, he remains still when Orla reaches out to bump her fist against his chest. “So put you trust in that at least.”

Friede stares down at the fist. Abruptly, he exhales deeply, shoulders dropping. “Alright, you made your point Orla.”

When she puts it like that, Friede can’t help but think his previous thoughts were silly. It deepens the embarrassment he feels earlier, though he also feels like a weight has been lifted off of his shoulders. At the same time, the physical and emotional exhaustion of today hits him like a full bodied Volt Tackle.

“I think it’s better for you to get some rest,” Orla gently suggests. Friede thinks he nodded at her suggestion, though it’s hard to tell when it feels like his head is stuffed with cotton. There seems to be hands helping him lay down, and when his head hits the pillow, his blanket is covering him.

“Mmm… but I still gotta…”

“Shh… don’t worry about everything.” A gentle hand settles over his forehead, slowly sliding down till it covers his eyes. “Just rest. Trust us to keep everything safe, okay?”

Trust. That’s something he can do.

#Pokemon #Pokemon Horizons #Professor Friede #Orla (Pokemon)#Mollie (Pokemon)#Murdock (Pokemon)#Hana writes stuff #I miss writing some good old h/c stuff featuring my fav guy

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0aurelion-sol0 · 3 months

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(So before we start with this theory & new post of mine for a long time since my semi-hiatus, I want to repeat that I do not want any new informations about season 5 or anything related to it whether true or not, same for any leaks, set photos whether true not. I ESPECIALLY DO NOT WANT THOSE!!!!! or interviews that are the slightest bit too revealing UNLESS I haven't looked at it myself and even then, easy on any of these. I know something minor about this season & have seen two things about it but that's it, nothing more.

These theories & analyses might be proven wrong or false already or in the future but I don't care, I do this for fun & as a way to explore different possibilities about the story that can be interesting or could have been at least. I hope everyone understands this & will not be a party pooper towards me just to have a "GOTCHA!!!" moment... With that said, let's get into it, shall we ?)

_________________________________________

The Thessalhydra:

Back To The Future &... The Beginning.

_________________________________________

For this first post, I wanted to go back to season 1 as I found it was fitting to explore one of the earliest major fandom theories of Stranger Things since it's final season is on it's way.

"The Thessalhydra as the final threat from the Upside Down."

And while at first everyone at the end of Season 1 thought, obviously, that this creature would be the next threat in it's second season, the Mind Flayer poked it's head and said "not yet!", "I need to experiment with my minions first!" with a Vecna also slowly planning his own armageddon as well. And as much as I don't like him (& his season... 😒), he's here and he proves to be useful from time to time when it comes to theories or analyses because he still part of the show & can help up in terms of parallels, themes & plot.

But now, let's remember the last episode of season 1! The boys playing their new campaign about the Thessalhydra taking a similar turn to the one they did at the beginning of the first season (*wink wink*) & this time Will does a 14 (*wink wink*) & kills the Thessalhydra with a fireball. (*wink wink*)

Now if this wasn't a tv show with multiple seasons, I would tell you that the boys obviously staged the whole thing for Will to win so that he can be happy and because they're all very nice friends & also not repeat the same game at risk of making him vanish again especially if the monster this time is the size of the Empire State Building, (sorry with the luck these characters have, I simply can't believe they can have a happy ending such as this one. WILL HAD UD SLUGS INSIDE HIS BODY, WTF GUYS???!!!) but this is a tv show with multiple seasons. And now, it has definitely become foreshadowing for what's to come.

Especially since in it's fourth season now, we basically have Nancy having an apocalyptic vision of Hawkins with a large creature which is describe by having a "gaping mouth".

And if you look at her face here, she definitely did not find that thing beautiful in the slightest, though she is probably more terrified about the fact that she saw most of her family dead. 🤭

But would you look at that ?! What creature in ST fits that description ? Quite a lot actually but obviously you know which one I'm talking about, yes The Thessalhydra! And oh my god, look at what I've found on the Forgotten Realms Wiki:

"Thessalhydras were hideous and terrifying creatures. They had a large, reptilian body with a long tail, 18 feet (5.5 meters) in length, which ended in a pair of large, sharp pincers. It had no head, instead eight hydra-like heads, each about 6 feet (1.8 meters) in length, surrounded a gaping mouth filled with teeth and acidic saliva."

Well well, after that, it's difficult to argue what else could that large creature be!

End of theory! Bye guys! Thank you for reading!

...

Except I also can do that... 😅 Because I have reason to believe that this future Thessalhydra is a creature we have seen before. One whose campaign mirrors another campaign from the same season.

Yes. I have reasons to believe that the Thessalhydra and The Demogorgon from Season 1 are one and the same.

Do you remember this ?

Of you course you remember this, what a stupid question. It's part of a series of trauma that affected us deeply as a fandom, for different reasons (at least for me) but it proves to be an even more important parallel than we originally thought.

I don't need to tell you about the thematic importance of the parallel or what it means for the characters, we've all already gone through that already, I am more interested in it's significance for the plot.

So El kills The Demogorgon & Henry the same way. By disintegrating them. But that action doesn't seem to end the same way for the both of them & El herself.

What is interesting is that the three of them dissapear in some form, Henry into an Upside Down gate but ends up falling forever through the Hellscape (a different dimension than Dimension X/The Upside Down though likely connected, the same way that Dimension X & The Upside Down probably are the same thing but it's not fully confirmed yet.) before ending into Dimension X/The Upside Down in some way. And we all know what happens from here on out, at least what we know of it since Season 4.

I have a theory for why he ended up there, what is the nature of that place and did not simply disintegrate like The Demogorgon who I also do not think simply disintegrated but we will not go fully through that in this post.

El though ends up in the Upside Down after being taken by the disintegrated part of the Demogorgon or by disintetrating herself (though it didn't really seem that way to me) which I think is probably because the Demogorgon used it's powers on her since he could open gates or send anyone to the UD in season 1. (We will also get into that but not in this post, same for why he was so different in Season 1, both physically and in the way he behaved.)

But the Demogorgon, from what we saw simply disintegrated and we never heard or saw any significant clue of it's existence again. Which again leads me to believe, if we follow the logic of what happened to Henry & to El in some way, it is still alive, somewhere.

And I believe personally that it is in the Hellscape right now, and in the same way that Henry got electrocuted while free falling in that place which marked the start of it's transformation as Vecna, I think the same is happening to The Demogorgon and is slowly being transformed into the Thessalhydra.

I think that El when she disintegrate something, she sends them into the Hellscape which is connected to Dimension X/The Upside Down as some sort of passage for someone who didn't enter via a gate the "original" or "right" way per say. Because being launched into Dimension X/The Upside Down in a state or in a way such as this one could be fatal so it's some sort of transition in a way.

And while Henry technically went through a gate, he was disintegrated before it's opening & that gate couldn't last more than a few seconds which I think is a result of the barrier between the worlds not being thin enough. Plus I think El gave way more strength into Henry than she did the Demogorgon with her powers which in turn also opened a gate behind him.

So as a result, he went into the Hellscape as some sort of "safer" transition between the two dimensions since as we know, and I hope, no gate before that has been opened in Hawkins before.

And as for the Demogorgon, again I think it's a point of it fighting back against El & using it's own powers against her plus again El didn't seem to launch the same type of strength of her power as she did onto Henry since she was standing much closer to the Demogorgon than she did Henry while also using an important memory of hers to defeat him.

Now as to why we haven't seen that Demogorgon or Thessalhydra in ST again, I think it's because the Hellscape was connected to the original version of The Upside Down, Dimension X in a way that it's not anymore with The Upside Down because what happened November 6th, 1983 changed more than just the environment but also the workings of those dimensions since the barriers between the dimensions are now thinner.

So I see 3 possibilities for the Demogorgon, to me it is still free falling through the Hellscape being slowly turned into the Thessalhydra or somehow ended up in Dimension X instead which is still connected to The Upside Down but is seperate it's own plane in some way since The Mind Flayer still come from there or is in a version of The Upside Down that is still Dimension X outside of UD Hawkins.

But still, some things are still up for speculation for how exactly it all works out in the end.

As I said at the beginning of the post, you take Nancy's description and apply to other creatures in ST like the Meat Flayer/Spider Monster (whatever you wanna call it) of Season 3, a gaping mouth with multiple hydra-like heads who in a way also gets defeated by fireballs via Lucas and it's fireworks which we see Will throw with him but the Demogorgon also fits that description with it's own gaping mouth blooming like a flower whose petals could look like different mouths coming from it.

And in a way, it would be ironic for The Demorgorn from season 1 to be The Thessalhydra because if we follow the boys' campaign, the very thing that took Will back then, that he couldn't defeat would also be the same thing he will defeat in it's final season as some sort of karmic consequence for The Demogorgon & The UD as a whole but also as a way to tie it's final season with it's first season in a more concrete way.

It started with Will and it will end with Will.

#stranger things #stranger things 5 #st5 #st5 theory #stranger things 5 theory #the demogorgon #the thessalhydra #the upside down #el #el hopper #eleven hopper #jane hopper #vecna #henry creel #vecna stranger things #will byers #stranger things vecna #the mind flayer #hellscape #dimension x #stranger things five #stranger things season five #william byers #And I can't but notice how Will; El & Henry all vanish at some point of the story.#The Demogorgon as well!#Even more parellels!#But people have already noticed that with Will & El in Season 1 but nice to see it works for other cases such as Henry or The Demogorgon!#Billy and The Flayed in season 3 also fits that scenario.#And Vecna's Victims before they are discovered or Hopper also fits under that scenario as well.#Which makes me think we are going to see other vanishings in Season 5.

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inbabylontheywept · 1 year

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Master Post of Writings and Series

HFY Science Fiction That Isn't a Ship, It's a Cannon with FTL! Military fiction revolving around space pirates and a railgun someone strapped an FTL drive to. There are three parts, the link above should let you scroll through the whole series. Like Sharks A short fic based on the prompt "Humans are the only ones to actually develop FTL. Everyone else just uses wormholes." The Scattering Experimental piece. I normally do prose, but I tried a poem. Inspired by the Dark Forest Theory. "So...What's the biggest gun you've ever made?" First installment starring Earl, a weapons designer. In this episode he explains the basics of fission-based fusion weapons, their applications in throwing things into orbit. Also stars a horny lobsterman. "R&D? More like R&Deez Nuts" Second installment starring Earl. This is a laser tag fight starring the R&D division, accounting, and sales. There will be male bonding. Or else. "Yeah, sure, and I shit thermite. Be serious." Earl drinks until he pukes. Aliens learn that humans produce hydrochloric acid for digestion. The Vengabus is Coming! A pinned down group of soldiers has to call in a human tank for backup. Shock and awe does not begin to describe it. Hold Your Breath and Burn The bad news is that he's gonna die in space. The good news is that he can make it count. "I will solve you if I must." The last tool of diplomacy is threats. Burning Bridges You don't have to kill a soldier to keep them from being a combatant. "I think we underestimated the scale of the human species by eight or nine orders of magnitude." In which humans turn out to be the swarm. Party Favors Humanity solved mortality. It did not solve boredom. Now it's everyone's problem. Starring my creepiest humans, a lot of drugs, and the leasy sexy descriptions of sex I could make.

HFY Fantasy Small, Fragile, and Destined to Die There's something to be said for spitting in the face of death. Sometimes, literally. "Healing+Lightning=Wizard Launcher" Unconventional spell uses let a wizard punch above his weight. And bite. And kick. Human wizards make a lot of ruckus. An Honorary Troll A wizard fights a troll. It is not a very wizardly fight. I considered it a very loose sequel to the story above it, but both can absolutely be read separately. Dale of the Dales A two part series about a human protecting a town of halflings from an army of gnomes with the power of hospitality, and also being comparatively massive. Why Human's Can't Cast On the properties of superconductors and golden gods. The Thunder God of Honnillee A human is adopted by a halfling. What Talon and What Dreadful Claw Tragedy with a man and a spynx.

Unsorted Fictions Leviathan A necromancer scours the depths of hell for a soul worthy of his creation. He finds more than he bargained for. Odysseus in Space (It's very, very good) Biographical Pieces Soviet Birds A comedy of errors is resolved by the Vessel of Bird Sacrifice. The Kitchen Labyrinth of Missile Science Why does a classified facility with 30 people at it have 7 kitchens? What would you do if I told you it has seven of every kind of room? The Fridges. Oh my God, the Fridges. It also has 20 fridges in it. Obviously. Kevin vs. Intro to Quantum You would be surprised at the kind of intellectual challenges random bystanders can take. I certainly was. Layman walks in and becomes the class mascot. The Condom Bomber In which I fuck up. Videos None of these are narrated by me, but I thought I'd list them here for anyone that prefers listening to reading. Like Sharks, read by Grey Voice. He focuses on smooth reading. Like Sharks, read by Aggro Squirrel. He has a theatrical voice. Like Sharks, read by NetNarrator. He has a fast, clipped style. The Vengabus is Coming & Burning Bridges 2 for 1 by Aggro Squirrel. "Yeah, and I shit thermite. Be serious." by Net Narrator. "So, what's the biggest gun you've ever made?" by Aggro Squirrel.

#InBabylonTheyWept

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ourflagmeansgayrights · 1 year

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the B in Blackbeard stands for Barbie

[id under the cut]

IMAGE DESCRIPTION: Eight versions of the Barbie selfie generator with different pictures of Edward Teach. The first one is Ed gesturing to the clouds in episode 4 superimposed on a purple spiky circle, with the small text above reading "This Barbie is pirate Beyoncé." The second image is Ed with his face in his hands when he learns it's September first edited onto an orange spiky circle, the small text reading "This Barbie is struggling to accept him imminent demise." The third is Ed, dressed in Stede's clothes, leaning on the railing of the crow's nest, edited over a blue circle with the small text saying "This Barbie is the wealthy landowner Stede Bonnet." The fourth is a close zoom of Ed's face edited onto a red circle, with the words "This Barbie is a Disney princess." The fifth is of Ed gazing out to sea in episode 6, edited into a yellow circle, and the small text says "This Barbie is down bad for Stede Bonnet." The sixth image is of Ed from the waist-up edited over a light green circle, with the text saying "This Barbie is an 11 out of 10." The penultimate image is of Ed, beard shaved, waiting at the docks for Stede. He is edited into a dark green circle and the text says "This Barbie is being ghosted by his co-captain." The last picture is of Ed in his robe era from episode 10, head turned to his left. He is in a pink circle and the words say "This Barbie is really going through it"

#ofmd #our flag memes death #our flag means death #edward teach #edward teach born on a beach #blackbeard #barbie meme #barbie #sc #edit #j #mine #og #s1e10 #s1e09 #s1e04

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suffersinfandom · 10 months

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A Summary of The OFMD Meta

Sooooo... this is part one of an incomplete summary of A Meta-Discussion Of The Subtext by meratrishoslee (Mera) on AO3 (linked to, as the author requests). I hope it’s helpful to the folks who’ve been curious about it -- heyooo @fahbee and @pushbuttonkitty -- but maybe not quite 90K-words curious! I’m not going to comment on anything; this is meant to be an impartial -as-possible summary.

It's massively long, so this is just the first eight chapters.

“There’s every possibility you are still in your feelings as you read this, even weeks after the finale. You are in your autonomous knee-jerk reaction, adrenaline-spike, slapped across the face, feeling-so-betrayed-right-now moment. You’re valid. That’s absolutely what’s happened… on the surface. But as you take a deep breath and begin to examine logically what’s in the show and engage with the material both in its text and subtext, you will see a new concept begin to take shape.” (Mera)

Chapter 1: Overview

Some background: Mera was involved with The Johnlock Conspiracy and believes that TJLCers weren’t wrong. (If you want a fun watch, I recommend Sarah Z’s YouTube video.) Essentially, TJLCers believe that Sherlock and Watson of BBC’s Sherlock were supposed to be endgame, and this can be proved with careful analysis. This is often paired with the idea that there is a missing fourth episode to the show’s fourth season that will eventually air and confirm all theories.

Mera defines ‘text’ and ‘subtext.’ Text is “dialogue lines / Shot choices and directions / Visible actions, describable as stage directions.” Subtext is “every single other thing, as well as what is suggested by or can be inferred from the text above.”

“Whenever something doesn’t make sense in the text, it is a BEACON (or maybe even a LIGHTHOUSE) to look at the subtext. Your subconscious mind recognizes subtext long before your conscious mind parses it -- assuming it ever does.”

The rest of the chapter is devoted to short descriptions of Mera’s key assertions with links to relevant chapters and their convention experiences. They cite talking to Con O’Neill at Florida Supercon 2023 as one of their reasons for believing so strongly that Izzy Hands is alive:

I asked him for advice in a specific time of trouble, and he gave me something real that had worked for him. I asked for a hug and he gave that also.

As I was pulling away I said "I’m glad that I gleaned one absolutely true thing from your portrayal of Izzy."

“What’s that?”

I said: "The character (in my original work) that Izzy inspired – when he’s out of pain at last, it’s impossible not to love him."

That seemed to hit him on an emotional level; he couldn’t hold my gaze after that. He said “That’s what I’ll be taking with me today.”

This was July 1st 2023, after completion of the filming of Season 2. I've thought about it often as the season went on, and how it must have affected him.

We have to love Izzy so that he'll live.

Mera spoke to Con again at NYCC:

The last thing I managed to get to say to him was: "They gave Izzy Hands a Passion Play."

"They did?" he asked.

"Yes, they did!" I replied.

And I watched that brilliantly swift mind again at work, because he considered it for the briefest beat -- and said in a tone of joy: "They did; yeah, you're right!"

I remember for the minutes and hours after I was amazed: did he not know, somehow? Did the writers not tell him (and he didn't realize at any time since) that in first quarter of the series they'd given him Gethsemane, a betrayal, a crucifixion (okay, getting shot in the leg and head, but don't get stuck on the details), a burial, and then a full on canonical resurrection?

Con then said another very important thing:

"But I got over it."

[...]

If Izzy's dead (for real and forever dead) and he knew it, then what he said to me was on a level of cruelty that I could never countenance from him. If Izzy lives, then those words are yet another piece of proof to me that Con was clever enough to be right both for someone who'd only seen five episodes, and someone who would eventually see all eight.

Chapter 2: The Cup and Ball Trick

The chapter is an extended “game” of cup and ball (where a ball is hidden under a cup and the guesser needs to determine which cup it’s under) interspersed with pictures from OFMD at various points in season two. It ends on a shot of Izzy’s grave where his body definitely isn’t.

The important takeaway: Izzy returns from the dead once to shoot Ed during Ed’s final suicide attempt. Ed returns from the dead after the near-fatal mutiny. Why would you think Izzy’s actually dead and in his grave at the end of the show?

“I didn't cry at the finale -- I was too filled with joy and excitement. I was Mary Magdalene at the grave; I was one of the first to know the truth of the resurrection, whether or not anyone believed me!”

Chapter 3: OUR LOVE MEANT DEATH

"..because if [Izzy] doesn't [live], with what I know now, his death is a cruelty struck at every queer individual alive or dead since 1981.”

Mera observes that almost no one touches Izzy’s bare skin and Izzy bleeds more than any other recurring character.

There are two times someone touches Izzy’s bare skin: first when his screams are being muffled when he yells at Jim and Archie to kill him, second when Ed puts the gun in Izzy’s ungloved hand during his first go at suicide.

Conclusion: "Izzy is coded with AIDS.”

Ed holding his bloody hand up to the rest of the crew away when Izzy is dying is a “warding-off gesture.”

Izzy is pale and sickly-looking as he’s dying. “My gorge rises. In the year of our Lord Shiva 2023 -- THEY GAVE THE MOST QUEER CODED CHARACTER ON THE SHOW A FUCKING AIDS DEATH.”

Izzy touches someone else’s bare skin twice in the show, and both instances are Ed. The first is in S1E10 “where he puts his left Death-marked hand on Edward's wrist as he's choking him.” The second is in S2E8 as he’s dying “in his ex-lover’s arms” (notably, this is the same hand with the spade tattoo).

“If Izzy's well and truly dead, for real and stays dead... He is in media both the first historically and the most recent chronologically to receive a full on AIDS death.”

“Until they prove to me and all of us that only Izzy's grief and the specter of AIDS remains in the grave -- and the rest of our beloved boy, our new unicorn (oh hey do you know what Problematic Modern Culture says about unicorn blood?), our pure-hearted risen being, our self-sacrificing queer man, will get his chance to be touched, held, kissed, and LOVED in Season 3.”

Chapter 4: “The Third Was For Death”

“Season 1 was Pinocchio: a wooden puppet wants to become a real boy -- and does! Hip hip hooray; that was pretty easy. Wow, the cute tall young guy of the crew lost a finger and the mean nasty short grouch that some people hate and some people like (because they understand him on a visceral, subconscious, subtextual level) lost a toe -- but if that's the worst that happens, we came out okay!”

Season two is “The Monkey’s Paw.” Mera tells the story with pictures from OFMD to emphasize the connections. Importantly, there’s an instance of a couple’s son coming back wrong after a wish (Lucius). The final wish returns the son to his previously-dead state and Mera ends on a picture of Izzy’s grave.

The cast’s and crews’ interviews might not support the real narrative because they’re not allowed to say what they want to (“Ever had to develop code language to hide your queerness from your parents, your teachers, the state?”) They’re all “in distress” and trying to tell us without telling us.

“Why does the new (old broken down) house smell like death? Why does everything we wished for that we got feel bad? Why does everything we're supposed to be happy about feel sad? How long would it take YOU to spot someone blinking out the word T-O-R-T-U-R-E?”

Mera hopes that the next season won’t tell us certain a new story: George Orwell’s 1984.

Chapter 5: Where Were We? Oh Yes, In The Pit Of Despair

This chapter is about The Princess Bride as it relates to Izzy’s story in seasons two and three of OFMD. It’s a comparison based mostly on costumes and lines; there are no one-for-one character comparisons. Vitally, the plot of TPB is used to predict the next season of OFMD.

Season two of OFMD ends at the part of TPB when Westley is thought to be dead (Izzy in his grave). Westley is revived, soooo…

“At what point does a preponderance of evidence flip over into fact? At what point does a handful of chance coincidences become planning and architecture? At what point do you go beyond a reasonable doubt into conviction?”

Chapter 6: Birdman and Blackbeard: Or, How To Watch Media

This chapter is about analyzing media. Once you learn how, you stop being a passive watcher.

“Instead you read its rhymes and rhythms like a sonnet. You go to the media in return – you meet it halfway, like a lover. You engage with it. You find themes embedded in the subtext that, once unearthed and examined, continue to inform and expand your experience of the text.”

“The people that like things nice and easy are the ones that watched the finale of Season 2, got angry and upset and – instead of examining those feelings and sitting with them and figuring out why everything felt weird and fucky – wrote it off as bad writing and cruel showrunners, and are already onto the next piece of media to pour into their open eyes and ears.”

And that’s fine! But if you like to think, you interrogate the media and see what else it’s saying.

Mera summarizes The Hero’s Journey through the lens of Orpheus’ story.

Season two mirrors season one almost too well. “...Why are they recreating their first season almost beat by beat? Why is this “second verse, same as the first – only a little bit louder and (in many cases) worse? Then Episode 8 hit… and I realized. They wanted to make sure that, in every conceivable way, the fans had a subtextual map of the meaning of Episode 8. So the mirrors between seasons had to line up almost exactly.”

Now we go into the three-act structure and how the hero’s journey maps onto it. Mera then uses Birdman or (The Unexpected Virtue Of Ignorance) and to show how they personally analyze meta, but I don’t care nearly enough about what they’ve gleaned from Birdman to go into it here. You’ll have to go read it yourself if you want their methods.

“Remember: Everything on screen in the finished and published movie is a choice. If something doesn’t make sense on a textual level, it is often a signpost (or LIGHTHOUSE) to look at it on a subtextual level.”

Mera points to an article about three-act structure and notes that “fun and games” is both part of that author’s second act and the title of an OFMD episode.

“Are we being fucked with? Or are we being instructed?”

Chapter 7: If You Strip Away The Myth From The Man

It’s the Jesus Christ Superstar chapter and it’s massive. I’m only including the most substantial comparisons and points.

Mera starts by linking to a gifset of Con talking about Taika saying that Izzy and Blackbeard are comparable to Judas and Jesus (and then Taika and Con sang songs from JCS while getting their makeup done). Notably, Con didn’t specify which character was which.

Blackbeard is a myth created by (of) two men, Ed and Izzy. “there's always two male bodies involved: Jesus and Judas, and both sacrifice themselves to the cause.”

It’s easy to say that Izzy is Judas, but wait -- there’s a better and deeper interpretation! Look at this picture from S1 that resembles the Last Supper and frames Izzy as Jesus! “Now I finally understood. Sure: Izzy is Judas-coded. That's plain for anyone to see. But Izzy is also Jesus-coded… from the under/reverse side.”

Izzy is Jesus-coded for all of season one (even more than Ed), and the comparison is solidified by the end of S2E3: “Izzy Hands is almost fully and directly Jesus-coded, and after Ed's own resurrection (not as an agape-love self-sacrifice for the saving of others, but through selfish personal/eros love alone) Edward is now obviously the betrayer of the whole crew who is permitted to stay aboard only on terms of sackcloth clothing and uneasy tolerance.”

Judas died by hanging himself according to the Gospel of Matthew. The only characters we see hanging are Ed and Stede, which clearly aligns them with Judas.

Izzy is a good person. He cares about the crew; Ed never does. When Izzy’s wrong, he fesses up to it and apologies; Ed does not (or when he does, the apologies are bad). “Does he lie? Yes, ostensibly to protect his captain and crew. Is he fairly mean to the Revenge crew until they [...] become his crew? Pretty much, although I could argue otherwise in places -- especially the fact that while Ed throws Lucius violently and bodily off the ship without any warning, Izzy carefully puts the crew on a safe island with a minor fuckery of his own to keep them calm and happy until he leaves. (It's obviously not Edward's idea, although he does permit Izzy to put himself between the deadly Kraken and the Revenge's crew in order to accomplish it.) Is he selfish? Yes, and who of us aren’t sometimes selfish about the people we love?”

Jesus and Judas have massive amounts of sexual tension (yeah, can confirm). Izzy is Jesus-coded because, while he doesn’t initiate contact like Jesus does in JCS, he’s always looking directly at Ed. Ed is Judas-coded because he has a hard time looking at Izzy and finds it difficult to touch him.

“...If Izzy Hands is a queer man who is Jesus-coded, who we see go through not one but TWO passion plays during Season 2... [near-death after having his leg removed, end-of-season death] he is conquering the death of HIV/AIDS and queer grief. He has to die so that he can vanquish that very real death, and arise again triumphant over it.”

“One direct correspondence with Jesus is that Izzy is convinced of one right way to be (whether or not it actually is), and everything outside of that offends him viscerally at this point in the series.” Izzy is convinced that there’s one right way to be a pirate, and Stede’s fucking that up.

And back to AIDS/reverse-Jesus Izzy: “Now among the lepers we're back to the reversal: no one touches Izzy. He’s desperate for it yet can never allow it. Jesus’s touch, kiss, love cures – and everyone seeks it and craves it. They demand it, they swamp and overwhelm him. Jesus's naked touch/kiss/love cures disease -- Izzy's carries and spreads it.”

“Judas/Edward makes his deal with the priesthood/King George to betray Jesus/Izzy – his price is 30 pieces of silver/Stede’s life.” That is, Ed is the one doing the betraying in season one.

But the real betrayal happens when he cuts off Izzy’s toe and feeds it to him while he’s vulnerable. Important note for the AIDS stuff: “...Edward puts on leather gauntlets immediately prior to this assault -- he ‘gloves up.’ He doesn't have direct naked contact with Izzy's blood or flesh during this scene.” The toe-feeding scene is absolutely framed as sexual assault.

And the toe thing continues into season two. “Sit with that also for a moment: the faux consent of making Izzy remove his own clothing to bare his body parts for this violation. Is it too far a stretch to think that Ed also made him eat each one, in their own private, gristly sacrament? He did threaten to ‘feed him the rest’ after all.”

Here is the outline of Izzy’s first “passion play”:

Izzy's Last Supper: all the toes eaten before as well as the one threatened now.

Izzy's Gethsemane, wherein he begs his God for the cup to be removed: he tries to bargain his and the crew's way out with his conversation with Blackbeard, to find an alternative to the self-destructive violence.

Izzy is betrayed by his Judas (again): shot in the leg for the 'crime' of mentioning Stede Bonnet's name, or Blackbeard's affection toward him.

Izzy descends into the grave: lays in a secret tunnel in what we can believe is the lowest part of the ship, while rotting enough to be smelled throughout.

Izzy dies: he shoots himself in the head and both we and Blackbeard believe him to be dead.

Izzy is risen: he hauls himself up out of his own grave without assistance from anyone else, crawls to the main deck, reloads his pistol somewhere along the way -- and shows himself to his followers crew at last, in order to bring about their salvation.

Con himself said that this is a passion play, and it takes up a massive chunk of the first part of the season. You don’t throw something massive like that into a show unless you’ve got something bigger coming.

But Judas dies before OFMD ends (mapping OFMD onto JCS), so now who is Ed? He’s Pontius Pilate. There’s the whipping of Jesus (Izzy’s back scars), then Pilate kneels down to hold the bleeding Jesus in his arms. It’s this specific Pieta statue.

“Izzy has to die to conquer his own living death, to end the curse that has kept him untouchable and unable to be loved as he so desperately desires.” There’s the crucifixion for you. Izzy dies and is buried, and we’re still waiting on the resurrection.

The last shot in JCS is of the empty cross; the last shot of OFMD S2 is Izzy’s grave. “If the cross in the last and arguably the most significant shot of JCS symbolizes the triumph of resurrection and rebirth... the one in OFMD S2 must also.”

Alex Sherman liked one of Mera’s Izzy Lives tweets that he was tagged in.

Chapter 8: The Dual Substance Of Christ

Now we’re looking at The Last Temptation of Christ. This is another long and involved one, so I’m cutting a lot of minor things that don’t serve the overall meta. (I also know fuck-all about this movie, oops.)

“An argument can be made (and I will attempt it) that Judas in this instance is not only the show creators/writers room of OFMD who had to put their much beloved boy Izzy Hands through all this agony... but also we the Unseen Crew who adore him, who have suffered alongside him through all he's endured, and who want nothing more than to have him back and whole in resurrected triumph.”

TLTC presents another reason to identify Lucius with Mary Magdalene (and notably, Jesus can’t touch Mary -- because Izzy is AIDS-coded). Once again, there’s an immense amount of sexual tension between Jesus and Judas.

This Jesus is angry and this God is fearsome. Judas does a lot of slamming-Jesus-into-walls, much like Ed and Izzy in S1E10.

Jesus confirms that he is a heart and he loves, which solidifies Izzy’s position as the heart of Blackbeard.

In his final trial in the desert, Jesus’ final tempter appears as flames. Izzy and Ed both play with flames when they lie.

“Izzy is pretty much Jesus-coded as I explained in the JCS meta… but here also due to the timing and content of this scene, Izzy’s also Lazarus-coded.He dies, he goes into the pit of the grave, he smells of rot, then he is raised from the dead.” Lazarus and Izzy both have a rough time of being alive again and drink about it.

Jesus says “I have to die on the cross, and I have to die willingly.” This parallels Izzy saying that he wants to go when he’s dying. Judas doesn’t want Jesus to die, which puts him more in line with Jenkins and company than any characters.

“But Izzy has to die, in order to conquer death. He’s lived with the specter of HIV/AIDS that has separated him from loving touch and the sharing of physical intimacy. He has to go into the grave to leave his disease and his queer grief behind, and to be reborn to love.”

On the cross, Jesus says, “Father, stay with me. Don’t leave me.” As he’s dying, Izzy tells Ed, “Sit with me, Eddie.”

“I feel sick, and I think I’m supposed to. It’s supposed to hurt. Both Izzy's death and Jesus's crucifixion are supposed to be two of the realest and most awful and most beautiful things I’ve ever seen on television.”

In TLTJ, there’s an extended part of the movie where Jesus is in a kind of gravy basket. The events are all kind of odd. They involve Jesus sleeping with Mary (the reborn unicorn, free of AIDS and safe to touch). Jesus returns to his body, suffers, and dies.

TLTJ doesn’t cover Jesus’ resurrection. “We have to trust what we know of the story: that Jesus is risen, and only death itself remains in his grave.”

On to the next!

#ofmd meta #but like ofmd meta summary #which is wild #izzy critical #i mean not really #it's a summary #no commentary from me #continuing the trend of spending hours on something for like three people to read #hey tumblr why is my spacing wonky when i post

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kingwiltcher · 5 months

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The Smiling Critters Take Real Life!

Episode 1: The Package of A Lifetime

(Synopsis)

When Angel saw the listing, it was too good to be true, eight whole, vintage plushies, in excellent condition, for that low of a price? It had to be a scam.

But Angel bought them anyway, and of course, when they arrived, there was something very odd about them.

They were all alive.

(Story Below! Or click the link above for the AO3 entry. It has better tags)

Angel sat alone in their living room on a cloudy summer morning. They’d already eaten breakfast and weren’t planning on doing much else with their day. As of right now the most they were doing was laying on the couch and eating leftover pizza from last night while waiting on their Amazon delivery.

About a week ago, Angel was browsing Amazon for some new plushies when they saw something very, very interesting.

It was a listing for a bundle of plushies…but not just any plushies, it was the entire Smiling Critters collection from Playtime Inc. Angel was absolutely floored when they saw the listing, and even moreso floored when they saw the pictures of each plushie, showing how good of a condition they were all in. And Angel thought it wasn’t possible to be any more floored than they already were at that time, but then they laid eyes on the price for all of those plushies.

$14.56. For 8 plushies that hadn’t been released since the 80s, and were some of the most sought-after collectors items ever.

Angel didn’t think twice about snatching them up from that listing, and once they’d given up their credit card details, they finally took the time to look at the description of the listing. Just in case they’d missed something important…

“I bought all these a long time ago for my son, Liam.” The blurb began. “But times change, things grow different, and even after he left I’ve just been sort of holding onto them. But as of late I’ve been convinced to give them up finally, so to whoever buys these, I hope they bring you as much joy as they did to my son when he was still around!”

After reading that, Angel felt really guilty for mentally calling the seller an idiot for selling the plushies at such a low price…but oh well.

And today was the day the package was supposed to arrive. Angel never trusted Amazon’s projected arrival time, but they would be pleasantly surprised when the doorbell to their house would ring, and a notification would pop up on their phone signifying that the order had arrived.

In an instant they shot to their feet and strode over to the door and swung it open. The delivery driver was seemingly already long gone. Angel took a moment to applaud that before taking the package inside. Angel sat it down on the edge of the coffee table in front of the couch, and once they did, they noticed a note taped to the top of the box…

Angel removed it from the box and squinted to look at it, as it was written in very old-style cursive that was almost illegible.

"These little guys just love to play, may these Smiling Critters bring some joy to your day!" Angel read the note aloud. They found it quite cheesy, but equally as endearing.

But then all of a sudden…the box began to shake…Angel froze up in startlement as their eyes locked onto the shifting box. It was as if there were several live beings moving around in there, trying to get out…Angel could even hear what sounded like muffled speaking from within it…no way these plushies could be alive like that…there must’ve been some kind of mix-up in the delivery.

Angel slowly and hesitantly moved over to the package and began to slowly peel off the tape…and once they fully peeled it off…

“HELLO!” A chorus of voices all rang out at once, all in a sing-songy voice as the package top burst open with all of the plushies jumping out at once.

Angel let out a horrifically loud scream and jumped back onto the couch in fear. “Wh-What the heck?! What in the- What?!” He sputtered out.

One of the plushies, that being Hoppy Hopscotch, looked over at Dogday, (Who was front and center in the box) with an expression of annoyance.

“Great plan Dogday…now he’s terrified of us.” She groaned.

Dogday frowned in exasperation and looked back to Hoppy before responding. “H-Hey! I thought it would be nice t-to surprise him!” He whimpered.

Bubba Bubbaphant cleared his throat before talking. “It was a nice thought Dogday…but uh, we kinda warned you that it wouldn’t turn out like you hoped it would-“

Dogday sighed in defeat and rubbed his head, then looked up towards Angel, who was holding a pillow in front of themselves defensively.

“Um…sorry for scaring you like that, mister. I thought it would be nice if we all…jumped out and surprised you.” Dogday apologized.

Angel slowly lowered the pillow. “You…you guys are alive?” They questioned.

Dogday scratched the back of his head and hopped out of the box…jumping right off the coffee table and landing flat on his face.

“Ow…” He squeaked pathetically. Angel unintentionally let out a snicker at that.

Meanwhile, all the other Smiling Critters rushed to the edge of the box, all crying out in concern for Dogday. Buuut as soon as they had all crowded around the edge, the box tipped over and sent them all careening down to the floor. With a comical plop, they all landed in a pile, and the empty box fell on top of the pile of critters. Angel let out another snicker.

The critters all began to move around inside the box, all going in different directions and walking and crawling on top of each other.

“H-Hey, I can’t see!”

“HOPPY GET YOUR FOOT OUT OF MY FACE-“

“GET YOUR BUTT OUT OF MINE!”

Dogday quickly got back to his feet and shoved the box off of his friends, freeing them from their ‘prison’.

“Thanks Dogday!” The critters all cried out in thankfulness.

Angel had been watching the scene the whole time, and while they’d initially found it creepy and unnatural, considering they were all plushies that had just come to life…now, Angel was beginning to find it pretty adorable.

After making sure all his friends were good and well and back on their feet, Dogday turned back towards Angel and cleared his throat. “To uh, answer your question sir, yep! We’re alive!” The dog said, placing his hands on his sides in a proud stance.

“Uhh…how though?” Angel asked, setting aside the pillow they were holding.

At Angel’s question, all of the critters slowly turned their heads towards Bubba Bubbaphant (Except Catnap, who had fallen asleep on the floor under the table).

Bubba made a noise of annoyance and glanced around at the other critters before clearing his throat and speaking. “Well…you read the note you got with the package, right?”

Angel nodded.

“There’s your answer!” Bubba said, nodding.

“Huh…so you’re like…voodoo creatures?” Angel stated, for they had watched Night Of The Living Dummy last night.

“Well I suppose so. If…that’s what you’d like to think.” Bubba mumbled the second part of his sentence.

“Well uh…how is this like…possible?” Angel asked.

Bubba held his hand up, preparing to say something, yet no words came out, and eventually he just put his hand back down in embarrassment.

Angel began to look to each of the critters one-by-one to see if he could get an answer from any of them, but no answers could be found in any of them.

“Hey man, if Bubba doesn’t know it, we don’t either.” Kickin Chicken said with a shrug.

“Alllllright then.” Angel sighed and tried to lean back on the pillow they were previously using, but then they felt something much, much different than the pillow meet their arm. Angel scrambled backwards, and saw that Catnap had somehow gotten onto the couch with nobody realizing, and was now laying up against the pillow comfortably.

“What the hel- heck?? How’d you get up here?” Angel sputtered out.

Catnap slowly inched his eyelids open and signed something out in sign language. Angel deflated at that, as they couldn’t understand sign language at all.

Dogday seemed to pick up on this, and tried and failed to jump onto the couch. He quickly gave up and just decided to talk from the floor again.

“He said you have really nice pillows!” Dogday translated.

“Uh, okay, but how did you get up here?” Angel questioned Catnap again.

In response, Catnap held an index finger over his mouth and shook his head, indicating that he wouldn’t tell.

Angel sighed and just patted Catnap’s head in response. Catnap purred in response.

By now, all of the Smiling Critters’ attentions had wandered elsewhere, and they were now beginning to explore Angel’s living room.

“W-Wow…this table is really pretty…” Craftycorn, who was underneath Angel’s coffee table and looking up through the glass.

Meanwhile, Hoppy and Kickin had began racing to climb up a bookshelf in the corner of the room.

And in that very moment, Angel came to a realization.

They had just adopted 8 ambiguously-aged plushie beings into their home.

How the hell was Angel going to manage all of this?

#alternate #au #alternate universe #dogday #catnap #kicken chicken #kickinchicken #hoppy hopscotch #bubba bubbaphant #picky piggy #craftycorn #poppy playtime #poppy playtime 3 #ao3 #ao3 fanfic #fanfic

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agreatartist1 · 5 months

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Melvinborg

I Was Thinking That He Was One Of My Earliest (And All-Time) Favorite Characters In Netflix. He First Showed Up As The Superintendent That Erica Said In Episode 12 (Season 1). He Became A Traitor To George And Harold Because He Found Melvin At The End Of The Episode, Trusted Him That He Will Go The "Super Smart School Of His Dreams" (Says George At The EP12 Recap) And Furthermore, Fires Mr. Krupp & Expells The Boys So He Can Stay At Jerome Horwitz Elementary School. Before He Stayed, He Tells The Boys To "Rearrange The Letters To Find My True Identity" (Superintendent Himself). As The Boys Rearranged, They Found A Minor New Character In The Show. As He Shows His "Awful" (Harold, S2 EP4) Look, The Boys Didn't Know He Had One (Which Is Being Held Again At The 5-Year Anniversary). In The S2 Credits, The Character's Name Is Undeniable. An Evil Cyborg Melvin From The Future Named Melvinborg (Full Name "Melvinborg Richard Sneedly"). He Invents The Teachertrons (Which Are Robots Whose Inventor Is A Robot) (Episode 1), The BNA-In-You 2000, The You-Want-Size-With-That 2000 (Which Is His Final Invention Along With Melvin), and so on. He was left by George and Harold trying to get Mr. Krupp back (Episode 2), didn't agree to meet him, and horrifyingly turns to a bee, which after he accidentally shooted Ms. Ribble (Episode 3). He asked Mr. Krupp to insert his Rank Tank 2000, became the judge of the "Advancimal" competition, extracted the bag of the lawn mower, and instantly knocked out by Poopacabra (Formerly Ratrick) (Episode 4). Eight Episodes Later, He Took The 4th Graders To His Tricky Final Exam, "Courtesy of this relevant comic". And An Episode Later After that, He turned to a hovercraft and Finally, No one else surely knew that he perished (but Mr. Krupp was happy to see him gone and to be principal again).

Further Reading (Read Their Descriptions):

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totowlff · 1 year

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chapter thirty-eight — on the cover

➝ check now the new issue of karriere by der standard magazine!

➝ word count: 2,6k

➝ warnings: none

➝ author’s note: well, the hiatus is over. after a few turbulent months in my personal life, with a layoff and a hiring involved, in addition to depressive episodes, i am finally back in front of the keyboard to continue writing my stories. i appreciate the kind messages i received from everyone who still wanted to read more about elisabeth and cassie. they were of paramount importance for me to go ahead. i hope you like this chapter.

SEPTEMBER, 2017

A Flower Blooms On The Asphalt

Toto Wolff and Elisabeth Lauda talk about business, family and the next step in the relationship that rocked the world of Formula 1

By Rosa Winkler-Hermaden

They say that first impressions are lasting impressions, and the first impression one gets when watching Elisabeth Lauda and Toto Wolff together is that they are not your average couple. Both possess a presence that's impossible to ignore, courtesy of his tall stature and her piercing blue eyes, and the sense of poise and seriousness both of them exude, even in a setting as relaxed as this one.

Watching the two settle down on the sofa for the conversation, held in the couple's penthouse located in the Innere Stadt, it's hard not to not get the impression that the two of them are indeed “Austrian motorsport’s royalty”, a nickname given to the couple by the reporter Ted Kravitz, of Sky Sports F1. Considering who we're talking about, it's a very apt way to describe the couple, even though they vehemently deny it.

“It's a definition that I find funny, but I don’t necessarily agree with it. Neither Elisabeth nor I expect things to be done for us, let alone have figurative roles on the team. We are two completely normal people, we work and strive to provide the best working environment for everyone on the team”, Toto says, while holding his partner's hand.

“I think who my father is lends itself to the description, but I don’t really think it’s an accurate view of who Toto and I are as people. Like he said, we are completely normal people. We were just lucky enough to find each other in the middle of all this mess”, Elisabeth tells me, which makes Toto smile, his dark eyes glued to the small diamond sparkling on her left ring finger. The mess she is referring to, of course, is Formula 1, a world that today is the backdrop for, according to magazines and newspapers across Europe, “the greatest love story in sport to date”.

It’s a story that all starts in downtown Vienna.

Mixing business with pleasure

As her surname suggests, Elisabeth Lauda is the youngest daughter of three-time Formula 1 champion Niki Lauda and his wife of over 40 years, Marlene. With her beauty inherited from her mother and the acerbic personality of her father, she grew up between Austria and Ibiza, with a period in Italy in the 1990s when Niki worked for Ferrari. With a life between the Spanish island and her home country, as well as a few years studying at the Lycée Français in Vienna made her a polyglot. In addition to her native German, she speaks Catalan, Italian, French and English. “We're even on this one, we both know five languages apiece”, Toto comments, with a mischievous smile.

With two business degrees and an MBA from the University of Vienna, Liesl, as Toto calls her, was never interested in the world of motorsport. She says that she always preferred to work together with her father in his business outside of racing; the management of airlines and other investments he’d made in the early 2000’s.

“My father always said that, for matters related to Formula 1, he was in charge. I was never even tempted to delve into that world, that was something he did with my brothers. Things started to change when he received an invitation from Daimler to buy shares in Mercedes-Benz GP, which meant he would take the position of non-executive director of the team. He asked me if I wanted to help him with the project, and so, Formula 1 became another business interest of mine”, Elisabeth says.

Unlike his partner, Toto Wolff fell in love with speed in his late teens. He didn’t grow up watching racing, despite the fact that he does recall watching his father-in-law compete on television. After watching Philipp Peter, a friend of his from Vienna, compete in German Formula 3, the young man became convinced that this was what he wanted to do with his life. However, his reality was quite different.

Growing up in an upper-middle-class neighborhood in Vienna, his life changed drastically when his father, Sven, was diagnosed with an incurable form of cancer. It wasn't long before the business went bankrupt and his parents separated. Joanna, his mother, was left having to care for Toto and his sister, Lili, as a single mother. The dream of being a driver seemed distant, especially with his family’s financial difficulties. However, by pooling the savings from some Christmas and birthday gifts, Toto was able to buy (ironically) a SEAT Ibiza to start racing in Austria.

However, his fairy tale was short-lived. After a few unpromising seasons in Formula Ford and without the support of his main sponsor, who pulled out after the death of Roland Ratzenberger in 1994, he found himself taking another path.

“I entered university in a Business course, but ended up dropping out after I got an internship at a bank in Warsaw. I thought I would learn more in the real world, so I dove in. It's not something I really recommend, but, at the time, it seemed like a good idea. I learned a lot about investments and how to read the markets there, so that was a good thing” ,Toto says. He built some wealth by making lucky investments in early tech startups, which gave Wolff the chance to fulfill another dream: owning a Formula 1 team.

He became an investor first in HWA, a motorsport supplier that ran the Mercedes DTM factory team, which eventually led to him investing in the storied Williams F1 team. His work with Williams caught the eye of Wolfgang Bernhard, part of the board of directors of Daimler, the parent company of Mercedes, in the summer of 2012. Mercedes had re-entered Formula 1 in 2010 after taking over the Brawn GP outfit, and struggled in its first two seasons back in the sport. After a meeting with Dieter Zetsche, chairman of the board, he was invited to buy shares, along with Niki Lauda. “The turning point”, according to Wolff.

The couple's first contact was in September 2012, at a dinner at the Edvard restaurant, in downtown Vienna. Elisabeth laughs as she remembers arriving at the place with her father after an unexpected delay, as well as the moment she saw Wolff for the first time.

“My father arrived at the table, started greeting everyone and I started to ask myself why I was there, since I didn't know anyone, I hadn't participated in any meetings, I wasn't directly involved in the operation. Until he”, Elisabeth says, turning her head toward Toto. “He got up to talk to my dad and all I could think about was how beautiful his smile was”.

Wolff is more direct about his first impression of Elisabeth. "I'm a bit of a pessimistic man and particularly skeptical about love. I've been married and divorced once, so I figured the whole “romance” thing wasn't for me. And then she walks into the restaurant and it's like my heart said 'wait, I think we can try again'. And I decided to give it a try".

Although they didn't really talk much during that first dinner, they did get a chance to grow closer over lunch in Singapore. “The way he told me about his life, the details, the twinkle in his eye, that enchanted me. It felt like I was talking to someone I had known forever. There was a feeling of familiarity, of comfort. It was like I had finally found my home”, Elisabeth says, as Toto kisses her on the hand.

However, the couple took a while to get together. There was some hesitation on her part, especially considering her involvement in the team’s operations, given who her father is. “I feared how our involvement might look to others, especially investors. As much as we had a known and public friendship, at the negotiation table it could sound as if we were in collusion, which was not true”, she says.

That hesitation meant that each of them stepped back from their burgeoning relationship. Toto even had an affair with a French model in the meantime, but it didn't last long. “I couldn’t get Elisabeth out of my head,” Wolff explains, a shy smile on his face. Shortly thereafter, the two kicked off their relationship, which was surprisingly well-received by both of their families.

“Everyone’s reaction was something between 'finally' and 'I already knew', so I think we were just postponing something that was going to happen one way or another all this time", Elisabeth says. “You were putting it off”, Toto says, as Elisabeth shakes her head. “I wasn't”, she replies, while Wolff smiles mischievously.

The harmony between them is visible, even when they disagree on something. And that is a key element for the results that this partnership has achieved.

Communication as the key to success

Since 2014, the team commanded by the couple has won the Formula 1 constructors’ title three years in a row. The championship for individual drivers — the World Drivers’ Championship — has been won by a Mercedes driver since 2014 as well. At this point, history is set to repeat itself, though both Elisabeth and Toto deny that it is a certainty at this point.

“The results of the last few years have been incredible, but that doesn't mean we have everything in our hands, this year was proof of that. We weren’t as consistent during the first part of the season as in previous years, which cost us points in several races”, Toto says. "Ferrari did an excellent job this year and we had to fight to recover, especially after what happened in Monaco with Lewis’ car".

When asked if she agrees with her partner's assessment, Elisabeth smiles. “Yes, at this point, I agree. Nothing we have achieved came on a golden platter, it is the result of the effort of more than two thousand people in Brackley and Brixworth. The results belong to everyone, not just to those on the podium with the trophy”, she says. They seem to be mostly in agreement on everything, a picture of teamwork and harmony. I ask about it.

“Definitely not all the time”, he says, stifling a laugh. “Toto likes to say that he fell in love with the most headstrong woman in Austria, which is accurate, I think. Contrary to what many people think, I have firm positions on things. I'm not easily influenced, especially when it comes to business”, Elisabeth explains. Despite sounding like a source of conflict, the two cite their ability to communicate as their major strength together.

“Elisabeth and I had very different lives and paths until we met. It's completely normal and expected that we have different opinions and views on things, but we talk a lot and we always try to reach a middle ground”, Toto says. “Of course, when it comes to Mercedes, given the fact that Elisabeth is a representative of her father and not necessarily a shareholder, sometimes the conversation needs to be with Niki and not with her. But we always work with dialogue, on all fronts”, he completes, while his companion nods positively.

Of course, they can’t avoid all conflict, and Elisabeth confirms this herself. “We are still a normal couple. We argue, we try to understand each other, and we try to put our best vision on the table. But the fact that we managed to make our relationship work both in the workplace and at home is a sign of our maturity, I think”.

When asked if dialogue is the key to the team's success, the couple looks at each other, smiling. “It's difficult to attribute all the success of recent years to a single factor. But, I believe that communication, not just between the two of us, but within the organization, is extremely important”, Toto responds.

At this point, Elisabeth says that she wants a cup of coffee, and offers one to her partner and me. Toto refuses, giving his partner a good-natured jab about her caffeine intake. “I only appreciate the finer things in life”, she replies, planting a kiss on his cheek before getting up and heading to the kitchen.

A bright future

As we enjoy an espresso together, the couple talks about housekeeping and decorating. I ask about the pictures on the mantel above the fireplace. There are pictures of the couple by themselves, pictures of Toto’s two children from his previous marriage, and pictures of the Lauda family. Looking at all of it at once, it is impossible not to admire how the two of them have created a brilliant professional and personal life.

But, what about the future?

“We both intend to stay at Mercedes for a few more years. It's a long-term project, for both of us”, Elisabeth responds. "We renewed our contracts at the beginning of this year, until 2020 at least, then we will remain in the paddock for a few more seasons".

“We're both on the same page in that regard. We both have ambitions and desires in common and we know that, together, we will be able to achieve them”, completes Toto. When asked what those ambitions might be, he smiles. “We want to take Mercedes to the top, make everyone recognize it for the greatness it has. The brand has spent a long time away from Formula 1 and we both want to recover the lost decades. So far, I think we’re succeeding”.

They have more intimate, family-related desires as well. “We want to provide the best environment for them”, Elisabeth says, pointing to one of the photos of her stepchildren. “Have the best experiences and be happy. We make a great effort to have as normal a family life as possible, considering their routine, their mother's and ours. Fortunately, we are also having success”.

However, it is not their only wish. “We're also thinking of expanding the family”, Toto comments quietly, as Elisabeth jabs him with her elbow. Laughing, he explains. “If it were up to me, we'd already have a little boy running around the house, but Liesl is more traditional. First love, then marriage, then the baby”, Toto says, while Elisabeth blushes.

Asked about motherhood, she gives a shy smile. “I have a big family and I already have two nephews, so having kids has always been on my mind. After my stepchildren came into my life, I felt that desire grow even more. But it's not something immediate, especially considering our routine”. “And the fact that we aren’t married”, Toto adds, smiling.

When I ask about the ring on Elisabeth’s finger, she and Toto look at each other with knowing smiles, almost as if they were deciding whether or not to share the news. “Yes, we’ve taken the first step. We are engaged”, Toto finally responds. “Personally, I never imagined that I would be engaged after forty, but life hides some admirable surprises, and one of them was Liesl”.

When I ask her about the proposal, Elisabeth gives me a smile. “It wasn't traditionally romantic, but it was extremely meaningful for both of us”, she says. “I had thought about proposing during the days we spent in Ibiza, but I ended up not getting it. It ended up being here in the penthouse, inside the office, which was still meaningful for us”, Toto says, his thumb stroking the skin of her hand.

They don’t yet have a date or venue in mind, but both of them agree that it will be a small, private affair. “It's something we agreed on regarding the event. No crowds or spotlights. It will be something private, for us to share this moment with the ones we love, nothing more”, Elisabeth explains.

Asked if they feel that is the logical step to be taken in the relationship, Toto is adamant. “Yes. There is no one else I would want to be with in this world”, he replies, before putting his arm around her and giving her a kiss on the cheek.

It is impossible to doubt him.

#toto wolff #formula 1 fic #f1 fic #f1 fanfic #formula 1 fanfic #wlffog #formula one fanfic #scwlff

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