#and polish up some thesis things

[pargolettasworld]

So, because I am incurably, morbidly curious, I watched Jessie Gender's four-hour-and-seventeen-minute-long video on . . . well, the title suggests "Zionism, Antisemitism, and the Left." To her credit, Gender does touch on all three of these topics, though not with the same degree of skill, graciousness, or understanding of the topics at hand. I've just had a very nice dinner, and I'm feeling generous, so let's see how this video stacks up. Strap in. This is going to get long.

I should admit right off the bat that I'm only a casual, occasional watcher of Jessie Gender. I'm not a deep fan, and I'm sure there is Jessie Gender Lore™ out there that I'm not aware of, but I think I've seen enough of her videos to get a general sense of her house style. This video hits a lot of the hallmarks of her style. She speaks very fast and very passionately, occasionally trips over her own words (something that I've done many a time, so I really do feel that), and is inordinately fond of nominalizations. She's especially fond of the word "ostracization," for some reason, which drives me nuts because "ostracism" is right there. So, in style, it appears to hew to the Jessie Gender House Style pretty well.

On to the video itself. The first thing I will observe about it is that it is in every possible way a meeting that could have been an email. There was no need for this to be the same length as the Extended Edition of The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (2003). There's a lot of padding, significant digressions, and a certain degree of repetition. It's easy to forget the beginning of the video by the time you're an hour into the thing.

The major question that hangs over this opus is: Why, and for whom, was it made? I'm honestly not sure who the intended audience for this thing is, nor why Gender felt that she had to make it. She alludes in the first half hour to feeling like she's lost the trust and support of some of her Jewish fans/friends/acquaintances/Patreon patrons, and she chalks it up to a previous video that she made (which I have not seen, and which I am not inclined to seek out). But neither the structure nor the thesis nor the conclusion of the video seem like they would win back any of these folks.

I don't think that Jewish viewers are her intended audience -- certainly not with the way she talks about Jews throughout the video. I'm also having a hard time believing that really committed leftists are her audience, either, since I don't think she's really saying much that leftists haven't already heard, or offering new perspectives on her topic(s). And anyone who has made it this far into the year of 5784 and is still undecided about the contemporary iteration of The Jewish Question is probably not going to be interested in sitting through nearly four and a half hours of relentless lecture. So I'm still left wondering why, and for whom, did Jessie Gender make this video?

Gender assures us, her viewers, of several things that are meant to be reassuring. She's done lots and lots of research, for one thing. And she's asked some-of-her-best-friends-who-are-Jewish to be sensitivity readers. We're given to understand that we are hearing the nitpicked, edited, and polished version of the script. I'd hate to see what the first draft looked like . . .

She also tells us that there are going to be lots of Foreign Words And Names, and that she and her mouth-hole have A Hard Time pronouncing Foreign Words And Names. Her loyal staff have made her a pronunciation guide -- which appears to have been used perhaps as a drinks coaster, since there are some howlers here. The Jews originating from the MENA regions are the "Misrai" (Mizrahi) Jews, the first Prime Minister of Israel was "David Ben-Gron" (David Ben-Gurion), the Revisionist Zionist leader was "Zeeeeeeeeev Zarbinsky" (Ze'ev Jabotinsky), and the Palestinian uprisings of 1987 - 1993 and 2000 - 2005 go by the name "Infitada" (Intifada).

You know that phrase "If white people can learn to say Tchaikovsky and Schwarzenegger, they can learn to say [your name from an African or Asian language]?" I agree completely with the conclusion, but I question the premise. Jessie Gender makes me question the premise harder. If she had any real interest in the topic, she would have practiced those names, but I don't think she does, so she didn't.

Moving on to the actual content of the video. It's . . . weird. Jessie Gender begins the video believing that Zionism is an evil force for colonialism, White supremacy, oppression, and genocide. She ends the video believing that Zionism is an evil force for colonialism, White supremacy, oppression, and genocide. But along the way, she's confronted with quite a lot of inconvenient facts that threaten to complicate this perspective.

Gender devotes roughly two hours and fifteen minutes of her video, a smidge over half of the runtime, on three segments that offer a history of Zionism, the iterations of Zionism as a political ideology, and what she calls "Zionism as emotion," which is a condescending way to refer to the importance of Zionism to Jews. I'd guess that her research for these segments might have surprised her. It turns out, per Jessie Gender, that there is both a reason behind and a context for nineteenth-century Zionism, quite a lot of logic behind why the Jews wanted to go to Israel, and ample evidence that a majority of Jews have some kind of stake in both Israel and some variation of Zionism.

The reason I think that this research might have surprised her is that she ends each of these segments with a small diatribe about the evil colonialist, capitalist, oppressive, genocidal force that is Zionism, even as the segments suggest nuance, logic, and reason behind the philosophy. We can't have that on a good lefty video, though, can we? The more Gender confronts evidence that there is more to Zionism than meets her eyes, the more she doubles down, digs in her heels, and refuses to accept even the barest shreds of non-negativity about Zionism. Every now and then, she comes up with a lovely sentence or two that shows some understanding of a Jewish perspective on the world, but then furiously backpedals -- we mustn't forget that this Jewish perspective of oppression, mass murder, and international blame has only led to the Evil Of Zionism, after all.

What's really fascinating is how hard she works to avoid blaming actual Jews for all of this evil. I think she's doing this with the best of intentions. A for effort. C for effect. She wants to make a distinction between "Zionism" and "Judaism," in the sense of "Zionism does not equate to Judaism, so being antisemitic to Judaism because you hate Zionism is bad." She tries so hard that she loses sight of the actual people involved. There are a lot of places where she talks about "Judaism" where what she actually means is "the Jews." Or, as she calls us, "Jewish people." Which isn't bad, and it isn't really wrong, but it doesn't quite communicate the sense of Am Yisrael that is at the heart of Zionism.

In fact, she's so desperate to separate Zionism from Jewish people that she starts to talk about it almost as an individual character in the story, with agency, desires, wishes, and goals of its own, totally disconnected from the people who created it. Zionism demands the genocide of Palestinians, Zionism needs colonialism, Zionism has a nice lunch date with neoliberalism and spends the afternoon browsing department stores with capitalism. In effect, Zionism becomes the dragon, and Gender really wishes that the passive, easily-led Jewish people would unite behind some White Knight and slay the dragon so everyone could be happy and free and leftist. Despite the two hours she spent on her deep dive into the history and meaning of Zionism, she cannot fathom why the Jewish people don't just do this.

I said earlier that quite a lot of this video consists of padding. Gender identifies herself as a lefty anarchist, opposed to nation-states, capitalism, neoliberalism, the United States, the British Empire, Israel, Joe Biden, "Ka-MAH-la" Harris, transphobia in Western societies . . . the usual suspects. Frequently, especially in the back half of the video, she'll wander off into long fantasias about the crimes against liberty perpetrated by the West at large, as well as their character Capitalism, and then remember that this is supposed to be a video about Zionism, and then finish with the equivalent of "Peter Rabbit did sort of that kind of thing, too."

One of the alleged purposes of this video is to discuss Antisemitism On The Left, but Gender . . . pretty much elides doing that. She gets close a couple of times, and she does grudgingly admit that some leftists coming from some branches of leftism might sometimes say things that might be antisemitic, and that's Bad, and it makes Jewish people feel Unsafe and Not Inclined To Agree With Leftists that The Dragon Known As Zionism Must Be Slain Heroically. But don't stress about it. The important thing is that Israel Must Stop Its Genocide and Palestinians Should Have Self-Determination (which is only withheld from them by Israel -- excuse me, by Zionism -- and certainly not by those eminently-justified-if-a-little-uncouth plucky fighters, Hamas.

There are quite a lot of lengthy quotes from Sources, read by guest stars, which is a nice touch to break up the video. The vast majority of these Sources -- especially the ones in the "history of Zionism" segment -- are not actually written by Zionists. You get a lot of academic pontificating about the failures, shortcomings, and nefarious activities of Zionism, but you hear almost nothing from actual Zionists, especially contemporary Zionists. This does not look nearly as good or as well-researched as it's meant to look.

So what do we get in the end, after four hours and seventeen minutes of watching this? Honestly . . . not much. Gender gives enough background on the history of Zionism, antisemitism, and Jewish attitudes toward Israel that hardcore leftists watching will be more annoyed than convinced. She condescends to both Jews and Arabs, mentioning repeatedly that she, as a White Gentile, really doesn't have any business butting in on these complex questions -- but that's not going to stop her from butting in like the lefty shiksa she is! She's too mealy-mouthed to come right out and say anything blatantly antisemitic, but disdain for Jewish concepts of homeland, belonging, origin, and self-determination pervade the whole thing.

I don't think that Jessie Gender is an idiot -- she seems to be pretty smart, and has both a firm sense of her own political philosophy and the stick-to-it-ive-ness to do far more research into things like the development of Zionism and the history of antisemitism than one might expect. But the video really is, to bring up a playwright from the hated West, "full of sound and fury, signifying nothing."

[averageallogene]

Lyney ♡⊹˚ His lucky charm [NSFW]

✧˖°. Summary: Before his most recent shows, Lyney seems to have some nervousness regarding his abilities as a magician. Thankfully, his lovely girlfriend is always there to ease his mind beforehand, providing him with the luck her magician boyfriend needs.

fem. reader (3rd person) ; this is basically smut with little more than an intro to it, so beware. Also SPOILERS for ACT I of the first Fontaine Archon Quest. 

5k words.

notes. Hi yes hello I am back, I have played the two Archon Quests, and after working a little for my thesis I decided to write something by my own volition <3. I’m not sure if Lyney here might be portrayed accurately but nonetheless I really wanted to write a smaller piece for him before doing it for other characters! He’s adorable :( ♡ Enjoy ✧˖°

By clicking on the “expand”, you are hereby agreeing to view NSFW content. PLEASE if you are under 18, DO NOT INTERACT. 

PLEASE do not report, as this is my warning to those who do not wish to view NSFW. I, like most writers, work hard on each piece we choose to publish, and reporting it will decrease the number of readers it reaches... Thank you for understanding ✧˖°

Magicians have no need for something many folk cling onto - luck. After all, every trick they perform is something they study, polish, rearrange, rehearse. Everything is staged to the finest of details, leaving no room for unpredictable variables to enter the equation. Every performance is acted out accordingly, a mental checklist going on inside the performer's mind as each prop is placed and moved about, each line is repeated from the rehearsals, each movement in one’s body is carefully played out. Everything is a carefully crafted performance, and what need do they have for luck? None.

To Lyney, such is the truth. Well, at least this philosophy held itself rock solid, up until the incident that nearly landed him a guilty verdict. Despite his confidence in his abilities to wow the crowds, even before there would always be a small but ever present pitter patter to his heart, a quiet reminder of his own nervousness before the show would begin. He would usually handle himself most well, though through the eyes of those closest to them, the normal feeling of “performance jitters” wasn’t all that well hidden. Well, and if that were the case, more so after things went back to normal.

His breathing would be a little more unstable, his fingers would fidget with one of his cards as his eyes darted about his changing room. He would fiddle with his exquisite hat, rebraid his hair while trying to ease himself. Things had gone back to normal, their scheduled shows were once more popular and always fully booked. Yet still, there always was this sense of anxiety deep in his stomach, never truly going away as he quietly wondered if the show would go as planned. 

Well, thankfully he had someone to help ease his mind each time. And as if right on que as he brooded over the upcoming performance, a knock to his dressing room was heard, the door opening to reveal the loveliest of sights. At the door stood [F/N], his lovely girlfriend who would always visit him before he went on stage. 

“Hi Lyney! Hope I’m not intruding?” She asked sweetly, smiling his way which only helped to ease his worries.

“You never are, my love. Come in!” He breathes out, the eagerness to have her close not quite passing unnoticed to her. He extends his arms before fully taking her in his embrace, sighing deeply as he inhales the familiar perfume she would always wear. His favorite. 

“How are you feeling?” [F/N]’s voice grows softer, her arms resting around his lower back as she smiles his way. The silence that follows is enough of an answer, her magician simply distracting himself with playing with the tips of her hair. “...Nervous?”

“...Hah, why it seems nothing really blinks past you. I may have taught you… Too well…” He jests, the smile on his face betraying him before it drops slightly. It reveals some of his vulnerability for her, his violet eyes locking with her own before he speaks up again. “I suppose it’s just some performance jitters again, nothing new...”

“It’s okay Lyney. You’ll do great, I know so.” Her smile shone brighter than the very sun, beaming with warmth that was only cast to him. It comforted his very being, filling his conflicted heart with sugary sweetness that only soothed him in a way no one else could. And if that wasn’t enough, the next few sentences were the ones that would always, always seal the deal for him. “Everything will go well, and everyone will be wowed by your hard work. I’m proud of you.”

It was as though his heart was struck, pierced with cupid’s arrow as he couldn’t keep up the calm and confident act. Lyney’s body visibly relaxed, a content snicker escaping his lips as his arms brought her closer. His lips were quicker than his words, filling her face with brief yet lovely kisses, watching with glee as she giggled as a response. Amidst each kiss he whispered words of gratitude for her support, his hands roaming throughout her lower back as he yearned to feel her closer and closer. 

“Lyney… You didn’t even let me finish!” She laughed, her words being cut off with a deeper kiss as his lips found her own. She could feel his smile against her lips, the magician quite literally stealing her breath away before finally pulling away. 

“Oh, I’m sorry dear. I just can’t contain myself, you’re just too adorable for me to!” He sighed, the flamboyant hum in which he spoke glittering the otherwise full truth she very well knew. “To think a professional magician would be wowed in such a way, you’ll be the death of me…”

“You almost make it sound like I’m such a bad thing.” [F/N] rolled her eyes playfully, her fingers carefully adjusting his hair before inspecting to see if his braid was well done. 

It was in small moments like so that Lyney would cease to speak, allowing his beloved to do as she pleased. His eyes would focus solely on her, watching how her expression would shift, her eyes roaming about to ensure he looked his absolute best. He could feel his heart beating hard against his ribcage, no longer solely because of the nervousness he would feel before each one of his shows. The mere sight of his girlfriend was enough to blow away the growing blaze of anxiety, leaving it only in embers that with time would cease. Her mere care, her mere nature, her beauty inside out… 

It was enough to leave Lyney riddled into little more than a lovesick puppy, the loopy smile upon his pretty face being reserved only for her. 

“Lyney?” [F/N] called for him once more, watching as he finally seemed to come back to. His hands were roaming around her hips, carefully circling around her figure as he finally let out a soft hum for her to continue. “You’re a little too quiet… Everything okay?”

“I’m so lucky to have you, [F/N]...”

It was her turn to be left speechless, her face morphing to surprise as their gazes locked. He watched as the loveliest shade of red adorned her cheeks, the flusteredness he’d often cause on her never failing to amuse him. Still, despite so, he hoped she knew just how sincere he was with his words. 

“Oh Archons… What’s gotten into you?” Her voice whined a little lower, her eyes turning away to avoid him for a mere instance in which her flusteredness was still far too raw. She could feel how his lips chased after her skin, peppering her with light and soft kisses by the corner of her mouth. 

“Nothing.” He responded, his usual flair dropping to soft whispers as he carefully turned her around, helping her have a seat on his vanity. Between fleeting kisses, Lyney took the opportunity to bring himself between her legs, his hands never letting her stray far from himself. “I just wish to remind you more often, because it’s the truth.”

“Well I think it’s the other way around, you know… I’m the one that’s lucky here.” [F/N] smiled softly, her hands finding rest on his shoulders before gently massaging his tense muscles. Her boyfriend leaned back, his eyes gleaming with a twinkle that seemed familiar, one of challenge and mischievousness that would often leave her questioning before finally realizing what he’d plotted. 

“My my, is that so?” He hummed, head tilting to the side while his grip on her tightened ever so slightly. “If that’s the case, how come each time you visit me beforehand, every show I perform runs far better than what I expect?”

“Oh, you’re really running with that?” She giggled, music to his ears. “Only because I kissed you that one time, telling you it would bring you good luck?”

“And did that show not go beyond amazing? In fact, I do believe that was the peak in my career thus far.” He reasoned with a nod to his head, kissing her deeply before resting his forehead against her own. “Therefore, I’m the lucky one here, and you my dear [F/N], are my lucky charm.”

“Oh Lyney…” She sighed softly, stroking her hand through his blond locks slowly. “I didn’t know that tonight my magician was planning to turn me into putty in his hands.”

It was his turn to laugh, quietly, yet full of warmth and endearment. “It’s what you get for stealing this magician’s heart long ago.”

“Ah! I’m gone. Goodbye Fontaine, I am melting from my boyfriend’s words!” [F/N] leaned back dramatically, Lyney catching her before she would fall too far and hit her head against the large mirror of his vanity. The pair laughed in unison, fingers interlacing as he brought her close to himself once more.

“You’ve definitely gotten that dramatic flair from me.” He pointed out, his free hand now resting firmly on her thigh. He watched with hearts in his eyes as she giggled at his comment, shrugging her shoulders before bringing him closer with her legs. 

“I love you.” [F/N] whispered, leaning forward before it being her turn to steal a few kisses for herself. 

It never stopped after that though, one going after the other, kisses lingering longer before them turning into a longer makeout session. The way her lips were always so soft, so warm, the faint taste of her favorite chapstick melting against his own, it never failed to leave Lyney yearning for more, his whole being focusing solely on his lover whilst everything else blurred around them. His tongue carefully peeked through his own lips before swiping across her own, the grin being felt against her mouth as he felt her jolt slightly from the antic. Giving him permission to continue, Lyney carefully led the dance, his tongue meeting her own as they both ignored the need of air, muffled breaths fanning one another as their hands held the other closer, tighter. Before he knew it he was leaning himself forward and her backwards, a little more, his body pressing against her own before they were practically bent with her head touching the mirror behind them. Her legs were pressed against his sides, never letting him stray too far, her hands stroking through his back and hair, sending shivers down his spine as sparks ignited deep within him. 

“L…Lyn-ney…” She murmured between breaths, him finally tilting his head so the two of them could breathe. The way her tongue stuck out of her mouth as she breathed heavily seemed to only entice something further deep within him. “W…What about your show?”

“Worried about that?” He inquired, the clear endearment for her concern being evident in his tone of voice. He leaned closer, voice whispering as he slowly licked the strand of saliva that had dropped down her chin. “We still have time, if that’s what’s troubling you dear.”

“H-Hah…” The words seemed to get stuck on her throat as his hands maneuvered around her frame, carefully parting her legs a little more to give him better access. His fingers quickly grabbed a hold of the hem of her dress, lifting it up slightly before resting his palm on her warm thigh, his lips still remaining close to her own as his very being craved more of her.

“Do you want me to stop?” Lyney softly asked, leaning back as his own breath grew uneven. His face too displayed a lovely shade of pink, his lips redder after the relentless kisses she’d given him. His eyes were glittering with excitement, half-lidded with pure love as he waited for her response. His thumb was caressing her skin softly, the circular motion he did easing her more than arousing her as he searched for her honest answer.

It was embarrassing to admit, but [F/N] absolutely did not want to stop. Her body felt far too hot for her to go back on it now. “I… N-No.”

“Are you certain, dear?” He leaned closer, eyes squinting softly as his breath fanned her face. His hands slithered a little more upwards, giving her goosebumps as they traveled up to her hips. “I don’t want to put you in any situation that might be even a little uncomfortable… I will understand if this is-”

“N-No Lyney, I’m okay.” She nodded her head to reassure him, her hands gripping his clothing tighter as if not wanting him to move an inch away. “I admit, it’s… A bit nerve wracking, given the place but… I still don’t want you to stop.”

He bit his lip, smiling with both excitement and apology. “I’m sorry love, I always seem to get carried away when it’s about you.”

It definitely was the truth, especially given with the way his hands moved around her body. There was always a certain kind of care in each movement, his grip upon her skin tight and loving, as if reassuring himself she was there, with him. Lyney was both selfish and giving when it came to his beloved [F/N], always wanting more for himself, yet always wanting to reassure her she felt properly adored.  

“We’ll have to be-” He kissed her again, followed by another, her lips trying to keep up with his own as he gave her fleeting kisses. “Very quiet- Okay?”

“M-Mhm.” She nodded her head, her face blushing a deeper shade of red as his fingers finally lifted her skirt up. Her own hands helped him hold it up for him, watching him as it finally dawned on her, his figure getting nice and cozy in between her legs before he kneeled down. “L-Lyney?”

The grin he gave her was enough to make her lower region throb. 

“I’m craving a taste of you, baby. Could you please indulge me?” He whispered, his hands parting her legs before resting securely against them. His head turned to her left thigh, leaving a trail of small bites and kisses as he came closer, delighting himself in every reaction she offered him, every gasp and jump, every attempt at caging his head in between her legs. 

“J-Just- Don’t tease me, please.” [F/N] outright pleaded, earning herself an honest nod of his head as his eyes sparkled in anticipation. 

Carefully, her eyes jumped back at the closed door before going back to him, her breath trembling as she breathed out from her parted lips. Whilst one hand held her dress up, the other slowly lowered, helping him to remove the lacey underwear that hid his most wanted prize away. And with a lift of her hips, they were off easily, hanging by her ankle as Lyney’s gaze focused solely on the erotic view before him. His [F/N], holding her dress up for him, sat on his vanity as her chest rose and lowered irregularly, her pussy in full display for him alone. It was enough to get him aroused, the fabric of his own clothes becoming far too constricting as he felt his boner raging to be freed.

His experienced hands crept closer, thumbs slowly hovering her juicy lips before deliciously parting them. He could feel his mouth go dry in an instance, the view of her leaking pussy outright hypnotizing him as she let out a quiet moan. He couldn’t help himself but play around with her pussy lips a little, after all, how could he not? The way her pretty hole would throb in want, leaking out her nectar only for him, dripping down her skin and onto his table, the squelching sounds being nearly enough for him to lose all sense of control. He couldn’t help himself but stare, watch in lust before her soft moans and whines became a little too loud, all the while still arousing him even further.

“Lyney!” She pleaded in a whisper, the pout she offered him sending his heart racing. 

“Yes, you’re right baby… I’m sorry.” He hummed, leaning forth before finally giving her heat a long, slow and deep lick. The vibrations from his hum resonated with her pussy, sending pleasant shockwaves throughout her body as she shut her lips right before moaning. “We’re gonna have to be quieter, love. Can you do that for me?” 

It was difficult to hear him when he was practically squishing his face against her pussy, yet from the mere fact he’d stopped, [F/N] had been able to deduct what he wanted from her quickly enough. She nodded her head eagerly, blushing even deeper as she bit her lip.

“Mhm… ‘M sorry…”

It truly divided Lyney’s heart in two, for he absolutely adored hearing every sound [F/N] would bless him with. Her voice already was pure melody for his ears, all the more when she would be moaning due to his administrations. However, the pure excitement of their ordeal, having a chance of being caught, it was enough to keep him going, to entice him to lick more, to lap around her clit again, to suckle on it whilst plunging one of his fingers deep inside. The way his beloved would instead jolt more often, writhe above him, attempt to suffocate him as her legs tried to close around him, all to not be as vocal, it all had him entranced. 

"You taste so good…" He groaned against her folds, his tongue practically spelling out his love for her as he ate her out with such passion. The groans and sighs that would escape him would only please her further, sending [F/N] closer and closer to her own release as she practically bit down her tongue to quiet out her own moans. Lyney simply couldn't have enough of her taste, lapping every last drop to his greedy tongue as he yearned for more, fingering and licking it out of her as he could feel her gummy walls throb against his fingers. "You're so wet, too… So dirty, my angel."

"L-Lyney…" She mumbled, her erotic whine finally pulling him out of his trance to look her way. By that point she'd already held her fingers around his hair, him not even noticing up until that very moment. 

His light eyes glanced up, for a moment the magician forgetting how to even breathe. It felt as though the wind was knocked out of him, staring up to see his beloved gazing down at him with such a needy look. Her cheeks were flushed, the thin layer of sweat visible on her forehead as her grip on his hair tightened softly. Her teeth were by that point gritting tightly against the hem of her dress, it being her faint attempt at keeping her noises down to a minimum as he ate her out to his heart's content. The view was dirty, marvelous. The dress was lifted to such a way he could now see part of her tummy as well, her body lined with sweat as it reacted to every little touch he gave her. 

It drove Lyney over the edge. He couldn't wait any longer. The breath finally left his mouth in a shaky notion, her thighs shaking like jello as it hit her bare pussy before he got up. 

"Gods, you're so gorgeous [F/N]." He outright moaned, his fingers carefully taking the fabric out of her mouth. He watched how she heaved deeply, her lips tempting him to latch onto them. And who was he to refuse, but a poor magician whose heart had been stolen by the woman before him?

He leaned in quickly, capturing her lips against his own as they both moaned against one another. Their hands couldn't let go of the other, fiddling with their clothes as they attempted to find the best position to finally get what they both wanted. [F/N] leaned herself to the edge of the table, her legs still apart for him as her fingers now fiddled with his belt, unbuckling it before finally freeing him of his leather shorts. Lyney could feel his cock throbbing already, eager to finally plunge inside of her spongy walls and ease the yearning he so deeply felt. He groaned against her lips as she finally freed his hard length, pumping it for him slowly as it was now her turn to suck on his tongue with her own lips. 

"I need you, Lyney…" [F/N] moaned, helping him to part her legs further as he kept his face closer to her own. 

"I know, baby, I know. It's only fair I indulge you after you've treated me so well, right?" He hummed with a smile, all the while his face indicating just how excited he was. 

He grunted quietly as he carefully rubbed his cock against her leaking folds, the two of them attempting to quiet their moans down to the best of their abilities. [F/N] could feel how the particularly protruding vein on the side of his cock rubbed against her pussy, sending tears to the corners of her eyes as she felt herself closer and closer to her release after being so well tended to by her lover. Lyney in turn kissed her tears away, his lips never leaving her face as he practically gulped down her moans to himself. After coating both her pussy with his pre and his cock with her bountiful juices he stopped, lining himself with her entrance before, with a glance shared, he carefully thrusted himself inside.

His hands gripped onto her knees, his lips shutting themselves tightly so as to not moan out as he often would. The way his eyebrows furrowed as he attempted to not voice much of the obvious pleasure he was feeling was a delightful view, [F/N]'s face blushing madly as she brought him closer. Her arms wrapped around him tightly as she hid her face against his neck, her lips pressing against his skin as she quietly whimpered in pleasure. 

"Ah, Lyney!" She moaned quietly, her nails digging into his shoulders as his own sighs of pleasure hit her ear. 

"You're so tight, baby-" He in turn hissed gently, feeling how her spongy walls swallowed him whole as he finally bottomed out. His own hands were gripping harshly against her skin, the two of them sharing moans between one another even as his tip hit her deepest part. "Fuck, you're so wet. It feels so good."

"Please Lyney, give me more…" [F/N] pleaded to him, her eyes wide and glistening with pleasure as she leaned back for an instance. At that point she was once more leaning back against the rest of his vanity, granting him access to pound as deeply as his heart desired. The mere sight of her in such a way was enough for him to derail. 

"Archons, anything for you [F/N]." The magician grunted, his hands leaving her knees as his lips latched onto her own. 

By her own she was able to open her legs as widely as possible, the hem of her dress covering everything from the mid-thigh up as her hands were far too busy around his body. They wrapped around him tightly, effectively caging Lyney in between her much to his contentment. His own hands were busy holding her as close as possible, resting on her hips securely as to not knock her or anything else out, the items on his furniture tumbling slightly with every thrust he pounded into her needy core. With each time he bottomed out Lyney reached deeper, the tip of his cock effectively kissing her cervix as he molded her walls to his shape. He drank her every moan as if he worshiped all sounds she offered, his lips sucking on her tongue in such a lewd manner that he couldn't help but grin over how she squeezed him harder over it. 

"Hyaahhhh, Hinhey…" [F/N] attempted to moan his name out, her puffy lips parted as his own toyed with her tongue to his pleasure. 

He could feel the way she was milking him dry, her juices thoroughly coating his cock generously as her pussy practically praised and outright worshiped him. Her walls throbbed deliriously, sending him closer and closer to his edge as he fucked her through what he very well knew was her approaching orgasm. 

"Is my baby- Close?" He leaned back to speak, humming quietly while licking his own lips eagerly. He watched as she nodded her head quickly, her fingers combing through his hair slowly, deeply. Just how he loved it. "Here, cum for me will you? You can take me like this as you do, right baby?"

[F/N] bit her lip, nodding her head again. She watched how one of his hands left her hips, holding it up for her to take it. His girlfriend took it without thinking twice, their fingers lacing together before Lyney held them against his mirror, his pace quickening up. Once more he glued his lips to hers, never quite truly satisfied with her kisses just as much as he never quite got enough of her pussy. Her breath against him grew ragged, her moans growing ever louder, all while trying to suppress them in what he could only find the cutest whines. He bent her more, held her tighter, he pounded deeper into her. He could feel her moans vibrate against his mouth before she finally gasped, a high pitched sob being all she could muster before her inner walls violently spasmed around him, creaming his cock bountifully as she rode her high. Even still, just as he'd asked her to, Lyney continued to thrust, still as deeply albeit slower, letting her savor her release just as he quickly followed with his closing one. 

"Gyah, L-Lyney-!" [F/N] moaned against him, he in turn shushed her in understanding. "Mmm, t-to much!"

"I'm so close baby, so close…" He whispered, his thrusts a little less rhythmic as he tried to focus. His eyes opened to gaze deeply into hers, the sight of her red cheeks and unfocused eyes only edging him further deep into the abyss of pleasure. "Can you please take it just a little more? Just like this…”

“Mhm…” She eagerly nodded her head, the tears of overstimulation streaming down her face sending a long shiver down his spine. His free hand came to rest upon the side of her face, thumb clearing the tears away as his grip on her other hand tightened. “I-Inside, please.”

He bit his tongue gently as he smiled, nodding his head before pulling her head closer for a deep kiss. “Anything for my lovely lady.”

Against him she moaned, him in unison as he felt the knot deep inside himself finally snap. Lyney felt his eyes shut, a deep low grunt leaving his throat before he finally felt his release wash over him. He thrusted deeper still, his pace finally slowing down as thick ropes of seed flooded over [F/N]’s inner walls. Her womb was eager to receive the abundant load, being painted white from inside out as it overflowed whilst he still remained sheathed inside. Whilst their fingers were still locked she brought him closer, holding him tightly as her body shivered with the overstimulation. Lyney could feel his breath finally begin to slow down, a few final slow thrusts of his hips following as he moaned quietly, ensuring he was milked for all he was worth. He held his [F/N] close, as close as possible, their bodies finally relaxing as they rested atop his vanity, her body welcoming him closer as his seed leaked down and dropped onto the ground.

Even as she still regulated her breath, lips puffy and red and mascara slightly smudged from the sweat and tears, Lyney lunged forward, capturing her lips for the millionth time. Never satiated, like the greedy man he was at heart, he smiled against her as he enveloped her closer, relishing a moment longer. The silence that followed felt comforting, the two of them sighing in bliss as he felt her arms around his figure. 

“Sorry… It must’ve been uncomfortable to sit like that, on such a surface.” He stated, eyebrows furrowing softly as his thumbs cleared her smudged makeup as much as he could. Lyney dared not move, still not even wanting to pull out. It wasn’t as though he could anyway, for the way [F/N]’s legs captured him definitely sent a message for him to stay a little longer.

“Mhm, it’s fine… I enjoyed it all the same.” She smiled sheepishly, relishing in his soft touches as she in turn rearranged his side swept bangs. 

“I’m glad.” He sighed in relief, the pair too engrossed into one another to even notice how some bottles had tumbled over amidst their frolicking. “Still, next time I’ll be sure to make up for it, for all of it.”

“Lyney, truly it’s fine!” [F/N] laughed softly, finally opening her legs for him to move more freely. She watched in amusement how her boyfriend coughed softly upon noticing how heavy she leaked, rummaging through the room to find a towel he could dampen to help clean up. “Sorry… We might’ve taken too long, no?”

“Hey, if anything it’s my fault… It’s what I get for being so greedy.” He reassured her with a sincere smile, carefully helping her to clean up before dressing her back up. [F/N] watched as he fanned his face with his hand, the blush on his face still evident as she helped him dress up as well, a snicker escaping her pretty lips at the sight. 

“Well… I still… Very much enjoyed it.” [F/N] reiterated, her voice low as she helped him button up his undershirt. His smile was difficult to ignore, especially so as she helped him retrace the tear he would always paint on his right cheek. 

“...I did, too.” He pulled her closer by the waist, smiling in a devilish, albeit inoffensive manner. He pulled her closer, stealing a deeper kiss as he relished on the taste of her lips, hoping to steal some of her chapstick for himself so he could taste it all throughout his performance. As he pulled away, he whispered quietly to her, fingers playing with the end of her hair. “...Maybe next time we do this, I can have you turned to my mirror. The faces you make are simply delicious, my dear.”

The way [F/N]’s face turned to utter surprise was enough of a reaction, the magician following with a sneaky laugh as he pinched her behind as the cherry on top. In turn, his girlfriend gently slapped his arm, huffing as her cheeks turned bright red, his laughter becoming louder as a result.

“Lyney!” She groaned, nearly turning around from him in embarrassment.

“Alright, alright, I’m sorry baby! Mostly.” He chuckled, embracing her before kissing her cheek with the usual level of endearment that was solely reserved for her. 

“Hmph…” She pouted, though both knew it wasn’t something to last long. “...Good luck on your show, honey.”

“After this? It’ll be the best show yet…” He in turn whispered, his forehead resting against her head as they quieted down. “I’ll see you after?”

“I’ll be waiting here.” [F/N] smiled softly, them embracing one another before finally deciding to part.

Well, Lyney had always been energetic in his performances, yet there seemed to be an improvement on that particular one. True to his word, that performance definitely did do amazingly well, becoming the talk of the following weeks.

All thanks to his lucky charm.

[sea-salted-wolverine]

As apparently one of the few people alive who has read the entirety of atlas shrugged, and the thing is no matter how tweaked people who haven't read it think it is, they're missing the vibes.

I chipped my nail polish today and there's some irony that the scene where a guy decided his marriage wasn't worth it because his wife wasn't the absolute image of perfection because of her chipped nail, lives rent free in my head. There's the bit where a couple of kids get blown up in a tunnel explosion and that's fine because their mother doesn't teach them to venerate capitalism. Then y'know, there's the bit where all the wealthy industrialists flee to the midst of the mountains where they can mine and extract resources and produce, because producing value is the most sacred thing any human being can do, and they, uh, just forgot, the entire narrative full on forgot, who they would be producing that for. Then the entire book caps off with an ending that so fully undermines its own thesis it feels like parody.

Its normal to not read 1000 pages of dense terrible philosophical text disguised as a noir. But if you haven't read the whole thing, I guarantee you are underestimating how convoluted and flat dumb that book can be.

[chemblrish]

hii how are you? I'm currently studying inorganic chem, mainly coordination compounds but it's proving difficult. I'm unable to fully grasp what's going on. Can you please advise me on coordination compounds and inorganic chem in general? thank you!!

Hi!

Inorganic coordination chem is part of my thesis, you've come to the right place :) Also, I'm going to make this a university-level thing - I didn't study coordination chem in school, so I'm assuming that's the level you expect - but if you actually need advice on studying high school inorganic chem, please let me know!

First, a textbook rec: I studied off Cotton's Basic inorganic chemistry a lot and I liked it. My professor recommended Atkins' Inorganic chemistry too; I admit I didn't use it that much bc I also had some Polish textbooks I found very helpful, but from what I did see, it seemed very comprehensive and in-depth - so if Cotton isn't enough, Atkins might be better for you.

Inorganic chem

orbitals matter: I think it's important to grasp orbitals and hybridization before going any further. This stuff keeps coming up again and again, so if you find yourself struggling with understanding concepts in inorganic chem, I'd suggest making sure you understand atomic and molecular orbitals first.

periodic table trends: please don't memorize them. Please. Understand them. There's a reason why, for example, atomic radii decrease within periods even though both electrons and protons are added as you move to the right (the screening effect - and again, orbitals!). Once more, I liked the way it was explained in Cotton's textbook.

I found flashcards very helpful for studying the properties of the elements and their compounds as that's mostly memorization. Same for HSAB, really.

if your inorganic chem course covers elements of group theory too, here is a website my thesis supervisor told me about :) I think it's pretty great. If you're digging really, really deep into it, Cotton has a whole textbook on group theory in chemistry (Chemical Applications of Group Theory), but I doubt you'd need it for a basic inorganic chem course.

I've also answered an ask on studying chemistry in general - perhaps you'll find it useful too.

Coordination chem

surprise, surprise: ✨ orbitals ✨. Once more, to understand what's going on with coordination compounds, first you need to understand the molecular orbital theory well.

metals oftentimes have a preference for a specific coordination number. Frequently, a whole group will have a preference for the same CN (group 7 ions, for example, prefer CN = 6). That doesn't mean other CNs don't exist, but knowing there's a pattern can be helpful while studying.

coordination numbers aren't totally random. The rules may not be strict and foolproof, but again, there's a general pattern that's worth keeping in mind: bigger ion usually = higher CN (duh?), CNs are usually even (and we still don't really know why that's so! Although it may have to do with geometry and symmetry) and sometimes depend on the charge of the ligand.

crystal field theory. Okay so CFT is really cool, but I see how it can be super confusing too. I'm not sure how deep you have to dig into this stuff for your course, so apologies if I go a little overboard 😅 My advise for studying it would be:

try to visualize the given complex, actually see the position of the ligands in relation to the orbitals

remember: it's all about lowering the energy. That's the core of CFT. Pauli's exclusion principle always, always stands, but CFT tells us coordination compounds are systems that "want to" have the lowest possible energy so bad they'll sometimes break Hund's rule to obtain it

keep in mind CFT is only a model. Some parts of it may not make any sense to you (like the fact it treats all metal - ligand bonds as purely ionic). It just so happens that despite its many simplifications that are obviously not true, CFT still accurately describes many complex compounds

I've had an ask on studying nomenclature, too.

again, I don't know how complex (pun not intended) you need my tips to get, so if you have any specific questions, feel free to hmu :) I'll try my best to explain

[multifandombullshitbabes]

Random Merlin Rewatch: Where a random number generator gives me a season and an episode from BBC Merlin; and then I comment on it as I go.

Today's episode: Season 4 Episode 7 - The Secret Sharer

Before I start, let me just say and I have done my uni exam and that's why I haven't been posting these even though I really wanted to. Not joking, I had to let my fingers rest 'cause I wrote all my notes and shit. It was a lot. Anyways, let's fucking do this.

LET'S GO INTRO!!!! YOUNG MAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WOOOOOH

EWWWWW WHY IS AGRAVAINE TOUCHING MORGANA LIKE THAT I'M GONNA PUKE BRO

Damn, Morgana's eyes are so GREEN, that makeup really does it for her. Kinda funny she's wearing it to bed though. Girl.

GOOD LORD MAMA, HELLO

Agravaine needs to chill the fuck out. Every time he's on screen he gives me the ick. Ugh. Also Morgana looked so damn paranoid talking about Emrys. "He knows everything. All our plans, all our secrets." Girl.... RIP Morgana you would've loved therapy (or not).

Ohhh... interesting Morgana's reaction to Agravaine's accusation of Gaius, saying that he's the ones working with Emrys. She almost looks... hurt? Like. She really doesn't want to face the reality that Gaius exists, in the sense that she's just so hurt by everything these people that "loved" her have done. She just feels so betrayed by everyone, so hurt, so ANGRY. It's so tragic.

Oh my GOD. I NEED PEOPLE TO STOP MANIPULATING MORGANA!!! I'M SICK OF IT!!!! The way she hesitates!!! When she knows that it means that they're going to use Gaius or maybe even kill him!!! The way that she moves away from Agravaine, processing this, the way he INTERRUPTS THIS and insists, again, that it has to be Gaius, they have to do something. And for a second she almost looks so fucking scared, like!!

LOOK AT HER!!! ANOTHER PERSON THAT'S BETRAYED HER!!! SHE'S SO HURT AND SCARED!!! OH GOD HER AND ARTHUR ARE SO SIMILAR.

She even blinks her eyes after that line from Agravaine, like blinking away tears, her eyes are so shiny bro, I'm gonna cry :((. And after blinking she turns all smirky and "evil" and shit. Jesus Christ. I could write a whole thesis about Morgana and her character progression holy shit.

LET'S GO MUSICCCCCCC

AHHHHHH the iconic breakfast in bed scene!!! Yay!!!

I don't blame Arthur for spitting that out, shit looked dry as FUCK. Also there's a bunch of crumbs on the bed, Merlin, YOU'LL have to clean that up!!! Don't give yourself more work!!

"I don't know anything about Polishing." We really need more appreciation about how Bradley delivers his lines, this one is just too funny, only hearing it, bro. Also. Merlin writes Arthur's speeches. One of the best pieces of canon in my opinion. It's just so comical, for some reason. And they must be good too, 'cause no one's questioning them. It's just such a subtle way to show that Merlin IS smart. Sometimes. A little bit.

Merlin, babe, you cannot be serious. You writing the new bible or something, what the fuck is this.

"You don't have hours." Most threatening and terrifying Merlin's ever sounded. Arthur's better than me, I would've have an anxiety attack so bad it'd send me straight to hell.

THIS INTRO IS EVERYTHING!!! WHY ARE THEY SAYING THINGS SO PERFECTLY SILLY!! I LOVE IT!!! Also, damn, Arthur's BUSY. I guess we do forget that kings had to, y'know. Do basically everything, like be a judge sometimes. Hello??

Ah yes, what I've been waiting for: the wrestling Arthur out of the bed scene. Love it. No notes, really.

"You're doing very well, Arthur." WHAT IF I CRY???

"I don't think so."???? ARTHUR WHAT IF I SMACK SOME SENSE INTO YOU, SHUT UP!!! YOU'RE DOING PRETTY GREAT IN MY OPINION, LISTEN TO YOUR MANSERVANT FOR ONCE.

A tiny bit of appreciation for Arthur's chest hair.

Thank you.

Love that Agravaine just. Ignores that it's Merlin writing Arthur's shit. He must have gotten such a shock right at the start and now nothing's surprising anymore.

The fact that Morgana, all in black, has a white horse is so fucking cool to me. Work that shit, queen.

OK GORGEOUS?????

Hate the way Agravaine speaks. Shut the FUCK UP.

Arthur. Arthur, honey. Yeah, you've got to stop being so easy to manipulate. I know it's hard, but your uncle is so fucking obvious doing it, please, please, just. Please. Holy shit.

Morgana's dress (cloak?? hood?? idk) is so pretty.

Morgana being the last of her kind, High Priestess of the Triple Goddess. Merlin being the last Dragonlord. Something something...

Also. Some obvious orientalism is this episode. Kinda icky, but unsurprising giving it's BBC and also like. 2011 or whatever. But still. Ugh.

Welp. Welp, welp. Can't really say much about that, can I??

I can't remember, but I'm assuming that bracelet she gives to the Catha is from Morgause, simply by the look of pain in her face when it's out of her grasp. Literally, when will my wife's suffering end?

I wonder just how many different kinds of magic beings and users there are in JUST the five kingdoms. What about the rest of the world?? Like. that's just so cool!! I love world building, maybe one day I'll waste away some days just building up lore and lore, probably some made up, but mostly from all cultures and countries. That would be cool as fuck actually.

Agravaine's smile is so FAKE, FUCK OFFFFFFF

Ew, why does he just touch everybody. Weird uncle vibes, for sure.

Oh, I just don't like how Arthur's so quiet. I bet Agravaine's just gotten in his head so bad. He already looks ready to cry, like Gaius has already betrayed him. He's so used to that, what's one more?

Jesus, this hurts to watch. The fact that Gaius knows exactly what's happening, and he's trying to be as truthful as he can but Agravaine's just. making it all worse and horrible. This is so bad.

Ok, Gaius, I know you're better at lying than this. Fucking damnit.

EW. Agravaine's little smirk?? What the fuck is wrong with him? Jesus, I feel so sick watching this, knowing that he's just basically sentenced Gaius as a liar!! Fuck!!!

Well, at least Arthur noticed that Agravaine was being a fucking bitch. Not all is lost.

"... we might find some (proof)." Oh, ok, so you're just admitting that you're going to fabricated evidence against Gaius? Oh ok.

JESUS THESE MAN'S TITTIES ARE JIGGLING GOOD LORD

OH MY GOD, NOT THE PECS FLEXING??? I'm assuming normally you don't see that when you're on a horse adjusting yourself 'cause you got clothes on but this guy DOESN'T and you can SEE EVERYTHING.

The way that Merlin opens the door is so funny. He is NOT amused to be called upon by Agravaine. Mood.

Why is Agravaine's smile literally so disgusting, I cannot.

EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW WHY DOES HE SMILE SO MUCH???? VERY MUCH WEIRD UNCLE VIBES. VERY MUCH "PUT SOME CLOTHES ON, YOUR UNCLE'S COMING." VIBES. EW. EW EW EWWWW

Love seeing Agravaine getting humbled, thank you big titty man.

Really? Really??? A book boldly proclaiming that it's about magic and sorcery, kinda hidden by one (1) sheet of paper as your proof? Really??? Are you for real right now?? Fuck off.

It is actually so upsetting seeing Agravaine in Merlin and Gaius's space. Like that's not for you, disgusting bitch.

Not Merlin finishing polishing the dagger and setting it on Arthur's nightstand JUST as the warning bells start to sound. Lol. Lmao even.

OH MY GOD THEY'RE DESTROYING GAIUS' SHIT??? WHAT THE FUCK

No no no. I hate this. The fact that Merlin now get's why Agravaine made him polish that dagger. He's fucking blaming himself right away, oh I can't do this.

Merlin literally looks like a baby in this shot, holy shit. My baby :(((.

Agravaine's acting (not the actor's, is the actor acting the character acting!! which is so fucking cool) is so fucking annoying. It's so obvious, dammit, Arthur, you're a king, how can you not see it!!! I know he's family, but you barely know him!!! I know he's from your mother's side and you want THAT side to be good unlike your father's side that's brought you so much pain, I know, but come ON!!!

Oh, Merlin's so mad, not at Arthur, at Agravaine and himself, but he's so hurt, so scared, so pained that it comes across as quietly, restrained angry, and it's fucking heart breaking.

Oh god. This is one of their most painful fights in my opinion. I think they get so fucking heart breaking when it's Merlin just. trying to show his side, trying to get Arthur to understand but Arthur just cannot because he's been given a certain information that WOULD make his actions sensible, but WE know they're lies!!! We do, Merlin does, but he can't just say that 'cause it might reveal HIS lie, and it's just UGH!!!!!!!!!! FUCK

MERLIN IS FUCKING TEARING UP I CAN'T. "He would not leave without saying goodbye to me." I AM GOING TO PUKE.

The way Merlin turns away when he's close to crying, ohhhhh. Oh BBC Merlin writers when I catch you. Colin Morgan when I catch you.

"I don't wanna lose another friend." I think these are the moments that really make me wanna chortle Arthur. I truly feel like he cannot understand the depth of the power that he has compared to Merlin. 'Cause what does that threat mean? Just them stop being friends but Merlin's still employed? Arthur sacking Merlin? Arthur treating Merlin how he's treating Gaius right now? Because, truthfully, with the power that Arthur has, any of these options is viable. I think this is what scares me, Arthur just cannot comprehend that he just cannot threaten his friends, his loved ones, like this just because he's king now. He simply cannot. The weight of it is different. Even if he would never hurt them, it doesn't matter, he has the POWER to. That's what's so scary. And then he wonders why Merlin doesn't tell him things. How can he?

The way things just. Change between the early seasons and now. The way Gaius talks to Morgana, knowing she wants to kill him, when he saw her grow up. I'm gonna be so fucking sick, y'all, what the fuck.

Does she braid some of her hair with leaves?? Or a green ribbon? What is that in her hair??

Not gonna lie, Morgana is so hot in this scene. Jesus. Love that voice, and that's all I'm gonna say.

HE LOOKS SO BABY!!!!!!!!!!1

I love that Gwen doesn't even question that Agravaine's behind it. She's like "I'll use my charms to get Arthur to see reason, don't worry bestie."

ICONICCCC GAIUS USING MAGIC!!!!!!!!

Oh, I love when Merlin doesn't even use words. Just golden eyes and BOOM. Magic.

MERLIN FOR FUCK'S SAKE BRO YOU CAN'T EVEN SNEAK OUT CORRECTLY WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!!! That's so fucking funny though, I'm losing it-

GWAINE!!!! MY BABY!!! You look like a puppy :,).

Oop. Cock blocked.

Merlin is just in a fucking mood and honestly he deserves to be. But it is interesting how differently he acted with Gwaine and Gwen. I wonder if he's being shorter with Gwaine 'cause he's a knight now, and he knows that knights talk and are closer to the king's views than the servants. Classic class division and such, even if Gwaine is not like other knights. He just cannot be sure now. Also 'cause he almost got found out my Agravaine which does not good for your nerves I bet.

WOW. Gwaine, baby, STAND UP. Get some self-respect. Good god. At Merlin's back and call, it's really ridiculous bro.

Immediately on a secret mission, love these boys.

Not Agravaine seeing his plans fall apart, GET REKT LOSER.

I wonder if Morgana's a good cook. I think she isn't actually. Just never gets recipes right. Burns things, undercooks others.

Oh, poor Gaius... he really tried to fight it but...

It's really fun watching the series and recognizing common clips used in edits.

The way Gaius speaks about Merlin with such wonder and pride... crying rn.

LMAO NOT MERLIN JUST COMPLETELY TRIPPING BOTH OF THE GUY'S FEET. ALSO THE WAY THE CATH TURNED??? HELLO??? HE LOOKED LIKE A SQUIRREL.

"We should split up." "Yeah." two dumb bitches saying "exactlyyyy"

"If you find him, don't wait for me." Gwaine IMMEDIATELY disagreed with that, Merlin dearest, he's not gonna let that happen.

Oh my god, Morgana hasn't met Gwaine yet. All she knows, from Agravaine, is that he's a "hothead". Lmao. lol even.

I love how Agravaine, literal dagger to Gaius' neck, is disagreeing with Gwaine's very keen observation, that he's the kidnapper and traitor. Girl, shut the fuck up.

Gwaine is so handsome. Also, yes, not completely stupid because, if Agravaine didn't kidnap Gaius, how did he know where he was, hm?? Bitchass.

Jesus. Credit when credit's due, he can be a good liar. Also, I feel like Gwaine's acting like he believes Agravaine's innocent, mainly because he can sense something fishy about him. His question, "So you agree he was abducted then?" is so SMART. 'Cause what else can Agravaine do but agree and declare Gaius an innocent man? Yeah that's fucking right, bitch.

Morgana is literally so hot and tragic when evil, good lord.

UGH, Morgana using magic without words, YES!!! Love her being powerful.

Face card never declines for either one of them, good god. Y'know what, more and more I understand Mergana. Just. Look at them!!!

OH THE WAY MERLIN KNOWS THAT ALATOR KNOWS HE'S EMRYS. OH MY GOD?????

Oh jesus, the way Morgana's just RELIEVED to finally know who Emrys is, she's so scared of him she just doesn't want to be scared anymore. Her voice is so soft here :(.

HOLY FUCKING SHIT HE YEETED THE FUCK OUT OF MORGANA WHAT THE FUCK, WOAH!!!!!!!!1

Oh wow that scene just gave me chills, holy shit holy shit. The way Alator just kneels and allies himself to Merlin. Jesus Christ, that's my drug bro.

Gwaine and Arthur interacting. Gwaine being so soft about Gaius, so worried :(. Arthur too :(((.

I really do love how royals just think the servants can't fucking hear. Gwen is right there as they speak very sensitive matters. Like bitch?? They have ears I promise??

The way Gaius and Merlin communicate their fears and anxieties :((( I'm so emotional bro.

"My worry is Arthur." and THOSE are your loyalties, while Alator and other's loyalties are to YOU, Merlin, 'cause you're supposed to bring forth Albion, but you're too busy having a fucking CRUSH TO DO IT!!!!!!!!!!

Oh, the way Arthur walks into the room and Merlin cannot even BEAR to look at him. He's HURT. As is his right.

The way Merlin immediately lightens the mood, 'cause he wants things to be easy as possible, even if it gets hurts swept under the rug like this. UGH. AGHHHHHHHHH.

Boys. Stop eye fucking. You're supposed to at least be a little mad at him, Merlin, you kinda deserve that, y'know.

Love that Arthur believes without a doubt that Gaius withstood torture for him and Camelot and won. Like. He truly sees Gaius as this strong figure. Just always there since he was born, bro. Even before, while he was being made!! That's bonkers.

I love how Arthur understood Gaius' lied even though Agravaine talks in the "evil manipulative guy" voice all the time. Fuck off bro, I swear.

The Gaius is trying to teach Arthur to understand the complexities of magic, that it's all evil or all good, it's all different. I love this scene so much.

Pretty boy.

And that is it!!! God, what an episode!! I feel like this episode is a good starting point for a show rewrite, in which Arthur gets more and more curious about magic and tries to understand, and maybe we'd get a magic reveal and shit like. I like that a lot.

[chiimi-png]

112 Days of Uni [50/112]

🌒06/05/24🌔

Had a job interview this afternoon so I spent the day prepping for that only to realise 10 minutes before I left my house I had lost my ID and couldn't find it, I ended up using my driver's licence as a replacement when I got to the building 🙃 (I was lucky they allowed it since some people are really shitty about it). I then polished some things from my thesis and finished the second part of my academic writing assignment.

[danielforshort]

Genshin Impact Cosplay Xiao's hanfu (2023)

For my hanfu for Xiao I made three pieces: the double tassel (faux) pearl necklace, the changshan (长衫), and the beizi (褙子, bèi zǐ). Here are all the nitty gritty details on how I went about this design, things I loved, and things I'd change up. You can find more photos and a story highlight of my process on my Instagram mushkin_changeling.

(Photo credit: Donald aka hustographyphoto on Instagram from Momocon 2023)

Reference Photos and Notes

Fashion and history and culture are all of great interest to me, and I knew that I wanted to start moving my cosplays towards hanfu designs and elements. You can read more about my internalized sinophobia and how that affected my cosplays in this Instagram post.

I spent so much time staring at Xiao's in game outfit trying to figure out what elements I was could translate into hanfu. Before this cosplay I had never worn hanfu. I was born in China but raised by white parents who did not dedicate much time or energy in ensuring I had access to knowledge about my culture.

The elements I picked at first for Xiao's hanfu were

His weird shoulder armor -> black yunjian (云肩) with gold enbroidery

Purple neck scarf (back) -> Yunjian ribbons

His necklace -> Chinese tassel necklace

Asymmetrical sleeve -> long flowing outer blue coat with gold embroidery

Pink tabbard/waist cloth -> a blue mamian with an embroidered pink design for the front

Looking at all of these elements I knew what I was going for was a hanfu ensemble from the Ming dynasty. I spent a lot of time looking at photos, reading pages, and educating myself on hanfu. I was even able to give a very introductory presentation about hanfu at Momocon 2023! You can read my slides at this link: Hanfu History 101 slides

I made a really ambitious plan for his hanfu that I had to cut back on due to energy and time constraints (did I mention that during the construction time I was moving, defending my thesis, and transitioning to my PhD program?!?)

Due to these constraints I ended up purchasing a mamian. I bought my mamian from Etsy (the store is OrientalBigbang and the link is here). I love my mamian. In fact I love it so much I wore it to my master's graduation ceremony!

It doesn't have the pink embroidery on it that i wanted but I knew going in that the level of customization I wanted would only be possibly from a commissioned mamian or if I made it myself. I was still very happy with how the mamian looked and felt.

Changshan (inner top)

Xiao's in game outfit is a weird tanktop with embroidery on it and a single detached sleeve. I decided to emulate this with a changshan. Most of the reference photos I found on DuckDuckGo showed asymmetrical changshan but a few were symmetrical, which I wanted. This is the photo I referenced most often.

(Photo credit: Newhanfu.com)

I ended up picking this kind of cream off white fabric (all of my fabrics were thrifted bedsheets). I bought these closures off of Amazon and really loved their color. (link here)

(Photo credit: Amazon)

Lots of the sides of a changshan are tied together rather than sewn which was fun and interesting. I ended up sewing a lot of small rectangular tubes for ties. I also didn't measure the armpit area quite right before cutting (measure twice, cut once, fuck up and make do) so that area is tied together rather than sewn.

Overall I really like the look and feel of the changshan. I didn't end of doing any embroidery. The collar didn't come out quite symmetrical which irritates me but I was pleased with the overall look and feel of it. I would go back and alter some of it to make it more polished or upgraded, but I don't hate it. I even felt confident enough in it to spend a lot of my con day wandering around in the changshan and mamian because Atlanta is hot goddamn.

Beizi (outer coat)

I actually made Xiao's game outfit in 2022, from scratch. My favourite bit was his singular sleeve which has a kind of swirling design on it. I hoped to capture that element with an embroidered beizi. I picked a light sort of cornflower blue for my beizi and a lilac for the collar (to emulate the purple neck scarf his in game outfit has).

(Photo credit: Donald aka hustographyphoto on Instagram from Momocon 2022)

I had big aspirations for the beizi's embroidery. I really wanted to design and embroider Peng (Chinese mythological fish bird). There are a few reference images from DuckDuckGo (very popular one is below) and I sketched a few ideas. The idea was to embroider the Peng on the left sleeve for Xiao's tattoo. This was another detail that I was excited about that I unfortunately had to ditch.

I was able to embroider some things though! I picked osmanthus flowers ("Osmanthus wine tastes the same as I remember, but where are those who share the memory?") and peonies, because they're symbolic in Chinese culture and also my favourite.

I loved the embroidery part of this cosplay the most. It was such a wonderful tactile craft that combined my love of sketching and sewing.

I also lined the beizi with a plain cotton sheet. I thought this was a good idea (I love how a lined costume looks and feels) but it actually made the beizi a little heavy. That was not fun in the Atlanta summer heat.

Twin Tassel Necklace

I found a strand of cream colored faux pearls at my local queer clothing swap and thought they were perfect for my twin tassel necklace. I mostly based it off of the below reference photo (photo credit: Nuwa Hanfu) and the general look of Xiao's in game necklace.

This is what I ended up with. I don't hate it but I also don't love it. This was the last thing I made in the cosplay so my energy and time were running short and I think that's apparent in the overall look of this piece.

(Photo credit: Donald aka hustographyphoto on Instagram from Momocon 2023)

Things I'd Change Up

I would change the beizi's colors to be pure white with decoration, instead of the sky blue I chose. I shied away from crisp whites for two reasons: they're hard to keep clean and I didn't want it to be a funeral outfit. After Momocon 2023 I realised that Xiao is literally Edge Boy Supreme and his story and character are steeped in mourning, death, and grief, so white would have been a perfect color.

I would have thrifted less bedsheets. The hanfu overall had very little texture because the fabrics I chose were plain cotton. In the future I'll aim for more texture (more common in curtain fabric) or I'll buy at a fabric store.

I would make a yunjian (云肩) like I had originally planned. I had wanted to hand embroider a cloud collar (black with gold thread) but ran out of energy and time before I got around to it. I would add that element to my next iteration of this costume because it reflects Xiao's in game outfit really well (he has this weird black shoulder/neck armor).

I would reconstruct the necklace entirely. Because I was working with one long strand that i looped to make two layers around my neck it never lay flat and looked a bit less put together. I would cut the strand and remake the necklace entirely next time. The necklace might even be unnecesarry with the yunjian, so I would probably more likely incorporate the beads into the yunjian.

I would dedicate more time to actually fulfill all of my embroidery dreams! I would embroider the Peng, add designs to the collar of the beizi, etc.

Ending Notes

I hope this doesn't sound dreary or like I'm disappointed in my cosplay. I am so incredibly proud of myself and this creation. I have been slowly finding my way back into my love of costumes and sewing and this is the project that helped. It is incredible to blend my love of history and research with my culture and cosplay.

I hope to return to this cosplay and make improvements! I hope to continue to branch out with my love of hanfu and apply it to some cosplays (I'm looking at you Baizhu). Thank you to everyone who told me they loved my cosplay, who attended my panel, and made my con and cosplay a wonderful experience.

[lackadaisy-headcanon-supply-unit]

✨The Moonshiners’ Menu✨

So it looks like you have found our blog (or at the very least this post, drifting along the deep blue river of Tumblr). Welcome!

If you have a thing for beautifully drawn and dapperly dressed fictional feline criminals from the 1920s (be that “thing” a platonic fondness or romantic attraction... or even an eldritch cactus), you’ve come to the perfect place! Step right up and quench your thirst with our following selection:

Oneshot On The Rocks:

Rich and full-bodied with a deep, soulful amber shine. The serving size may only equal a single chapter, but in exchange for the lack of wordiness it is sufficiently potent. Soft or bold, tragic or harsh, sweet or (for the more daring) spicy - all those nuances will be tailored to the requester.

(Translated into common tongue: we do fluff, angst, crack, anything in-between, but no smut. Dirty jokes or suggestive references, sure, but actual erotica's off the table. Please pick another tavern to indulge your unorthodox desires of that sort.)

Headcanon Home-Brew: 

Clear, undiluted character; an essence of the purest kind. Bullet-pointed brews based in our very own interpretations of the cast, personally prepared for pretty much any theme under the sun so long as it ties back to a relationship with the reader in one way or another.

(Oh yeah, right, I forgot to add. Any relationship type goes! Lovers, friends, siblingly bonds, adoption, whatever the heck. Not everyone wants to smooch the kitties, and that is more than alright. We serve whatever sort of affection is needed.)

Scenario Cider: 

A ripe golden concoction blooming with the smooth taste of apple orchards. Fragrant and foamy, it has a delectable tease of plot... or semblances thereof; it is not fully a Oneshot, not a Headcanon cocktail either, but something to satisfy tastes in-between that blends the strongest points of both.

(We retain the right to refuse service, a.k.a not do a request, if we are not comfortable with it for whatever reason. We shall likely expand on these rules in the future if more disclaimer-worthy details emerge.)

Absinthe Imagine: 

A herbaceous chartreuse refreshment dripping with indulgent abandon. Mostly it can be described as an idea, a thesis, a feeling poured into crystal-polished words and gently whispered over the counter like a wistful secret. May remind a bit of Headcanons, as they're similarly concentrated, but more loose and situation-like.

(Oh, and one more thing; we write at our own pace and have some rather busy lives outside of this lovely hellsite, so please be patient with us! We're doing our best! As well, true quality doesn't exactly develop quick, heh.)

Which is all very fine and well, but, a reader insert isn’t quite a reader insert without the characters themselves! At the moment we are able to provide the following “flavors” from Lackadaisy’s cast of beloved kitties:

🔥 Roark "Rocky" Rickaby 🔥

⚾ Calvin “Freckle” McMurray ⚾

🎶 Ivy Pepper 🎶

⚒️ Viktor Vasko ⚒️

🍷 Mitzi May 🍷

🎷 Dorian “Zib” Zibowski 🎷

✒️ Mordecai Heller ✒️

🔮 Serafine Savoy 🔮

🐊 Nicodeme "Nico" Savoy 🐊

💎 Sedgewick Sable 💎

(Regarding rarer flavors (side characters from the comics not included here), most we can offer is a couple drops (some headcanons or maybe short scenarios/imagines), but don't let that stop you from ordering whatever your little heart desires! Just don't expect it to be particularly lengthy.)

Requests Open!

[bluedalahorse]

prose and poetry and other experiments

I don’t really do writing advice or instruction posts, at least not at this point in my life. But I’m on the verge of (hopefully) finishing a one-shot fanfic that’s made up of nine poems, and then going to my writing program residency in a little more than a week, and it’s made me think about the value of like… just experimenting with writerly things that are outside of my comfort zone (or even the things that are a little terrifying) and seeing what I learn from them.

Like poetry, for instance! I used to think of myself as primarily a prose person, like maybe I’d get inspiration once every seven years and dash off a lovely poem about my feelings about spring. After that then I’d go back to writing prose like a normal person untouched by the poetic muse. But through my local bookstore and my writing program I learned more about verse novels, and started to love them. I began to experiment with telling stories in verse just because it felt like fun, and because a lot of my classmates were also experimenting with it. In my second semester, I worked with a poet as my advisor, and ended up trying out two historical novels in verse, which meant writing so many poems. Some were brilliant! Others were just placeholders in need of revision! Nonetheless, I produced a lot of text, and I was proud of what I’d done.

Now, I haven’t become exclusively a verse novelist. My creative thesis is probably going to be a hybrid of verse and prose, and I’ve certainly written things that continue to be all one or the other. Some of you might say, well, I only want to write prose, so what’s the point of trying to write verse? But here’s the thing: spending a lot of time writing in verse, and doing it with a sense of curiosity, actually made my prose better too. Like I think I have a better sense of where scenes should begin and end now, and am better at parceling out exposition. I can write characters as living in their bodies much better, and I know what sensory details go into a scene to tell us about a character’s emotional state. These were all things I struggled with immensely before I got into verse, and verse made me better at them. I’m sure writing one-act plays or something also could have helped with some of that, but my point is, sometimes going outside the very intentional parameters you created for yourself can actually help you.

So yeah, I don’t want this post to solely be about poetry. You can experiment with lots of different craft elements and genre conventions, and just fuck around for the hell of it, and discover yourself as a writer. Like if you always write in present tense and see it as your thing, it’s worth trying a story in past just to see how it feels. Or if you’re find you’re too distant from your protagonist in third person, try scooting into first person—or even second person—just as an experiment. It doesn’t mean you have to write the final draft of the story that way but it can maybe show you some things about the character you wouldn’t have picked up on otherwise.

In fanfiction, sometimes this means breaking with the “house style” of fanfic that you’re used to, or trying out a different house style. (I would argue that there are sometimes “house styles” that show up in different fandoms or subgenres of fanfic.) Or writing from the POV of the character you’d “never” write from, or writing a pairing you wouldn’t normally write, or something. Again, I don’t mean you have to write a fully polished multichapter fic about something that’s not your primary area of interest and then post it on AO3, but giving yourself a chance to write a paragraph or two (or a poem!) and just letting yourself play in a new sandbox for ten minutes… can be fun and enlightening actually. Maybe you’ll discover something new you like, or maybe you’ll discover something new about something you already like, which is also valuable.

The expression is “fuck around and find out” and I think we usually see that expression as threatening. But when it comes to writing, giving ourselves permission to fuck around can actually help us find out a lot about ourselves as writers and strengthen our craft.

Also, it’s fun, and fun is absolutely something I endorse when it comes to writing.

[hangingslothcentral]

this right here is a screenshot of the end of the first novel i ever finished. it was a version of Clockwork Bird, which would go on to become my first ever audio drama in 2020, 6 years after i finished wriitng the novel. it has been a whole TEN YEARS since i finished the first version of this story.

this makes me emotional for a bunch of reasons. firstly, i can't believe it's been an ENTIRE DECADE since i started finishing novel-length projects, what the actual FUCK.

it's kind of sobering because around July/August this year will mark 10 whole years of trying to get published.

since writing Clockwork Bird, I've written seven other novel length pieces, two of which I've attempted to run for publication. I've also rewritten and re-polished three of those stories, including Clockwork Bird, to give a second shot to. Two of those projects are currently making the rounds of literary agents.

I'm feeling hopeful that I'll be able to cross the finishline at some point in the next couple of years. I have wanted to be a writer for my whole life, and I know it's one of those things where all you really need to do to be the thing is to do the thing, and that's magic, and i also know that on top of all those prose writing projects, I've written three audio dramas and numerous other projects, too. the audio dramas have been pretty successful! I'm very proud of them.

one thing that's hard about looking at other people's creative careers is that, sort of by necessity, it all ends up getting flattened and smoothed out as part of the storytelling of who that person is as a creative. we tell rags-to-riches tales or spin another sort of narrative of who this person is and where they're from. the only commonality in all of those stories is that they make it all sound much more straightforward and much more understandable than the reality.

this is okay; it's important we do this in order to stay sane. we cannot reasonably conceive of every up and down in every author's trajectory. and it's kind of a consequence of the way we inevitably end up telling these stories because we start at the end. we know when we think about Charles Dickens, for example, that he ends up to be a celebrated novelist, even as we're talking about his difficult childhood and horrible relationship with his wife. all of his struggles and personal failings are a part of a story whose ending is 'and he was a famous, successful novelist'.

when we're living our lives, we don't know the end, because that's not how it works. you can hope and believe and plan and work extremely hard towards your goals and you still aren't going to know the outcome.

when i finished Clockwork Bird i had NO idea it would be an audio drama 90,000 people would listen to. i didn't know it would be another ten years MINIMUM before i even found a literary agent, let alone saw my work professsionally published. i didn't know i'd spend years barely writing a word of prose because i felt so disenfranchised. i had no idea.

there isn't a big thesis statement to this post, i'm just having a lot of feelings. they say we overestimate what we can achieve in a year, and underestimate what we can achieve in ten. remember you're hearing the stories of other people's lives with the benefit of hindsight; that's why yours always feels much weirder and messier than theirs when you think about it. keep going. u got this. ily. xxx

[vitato]

So

It's my first time here and I have absolutely no idea what am I doing.

About me:

Nonbinary boymoding 90% of the time individual.

He/She/They

Pansexual, polyamorous

I'm from Poland and I'm preparing to be a Polish teacher (so language, art, philosophy).

I'll probably shitpost about being a student, beginner teacher, lgbt and stupid at the same time.

Also I'm a parent of a very smol baby but for now I keep them safe from the internet's gaze.

I will post always in English, and even tho I think I'm pretty okay at it, there will be always some minor mistakes and I apologize for that. Also I'm incredibly bad at noticing my phone's shenanigans so sometimes it will twist a word. I will be using "edit" option very often. Anything in Polish comes up I will translate it for everyone to be able to enjoy it. I'll do my best!

Unique thing I can add is that I love gaming and I plan on incorporating it into my teaching. I did lessons on narration in games for a high school and it was great. I will also put it in my bachelor's thesis.

So, that being said, hi everyone, I'm new, please don't eat me.

My links:

Twitter (lost my main sadly):

Steam (I'll gotta figure social stuff out):

Spotify, if you want for some reason:

[docluna]

Ch. 2: The Offer

The elevator doors opened after what Luna felt was a suspiciously long travel time for four floors downward. The room within, at first, seemed to be a narrow but long office with dim lighting in place. Its floor was marble tile, so well polished that it might as well have been mirrored. The lights on the ceiling, turned down though they were, gave off a warmth that was almost reassuring after the florescent buzzing of the elevator.

At the other end of the room stood a cheri wood desk, expertly engraved with patterns that were clearly inspired by the flowing lines of Kanto’s only native dragon-type Pokemon family. A grid of nine monitors lit up the wall, showing graphs and talking heads and lists of prices that were well outside of the doctor’s understanding. And silhouetted by those screens, a haze of cigarette smoke rising from his right hand, sat a man that could only be Giovanni.

He reached forward, and the screens flicked into darkness as one. As they did, and the lights came up over the desk, he turned around to face the elevator door. Even seated, he cut an imposing figure. He wore a perfectly tailored black suit and tie over a spotless white shirt, which did little to disguise his muscular build. His short coal-black hair was slicked back and trimmed to precision, and though he smiled, his sharp features and stormy-gray eyes felt no less intimidating for it.

“You must be Doctor Wenhouse.” He said, waving her closer. “Please, come and sit. I’ve been eager to meet you.”

The deep sound of his voice snapped Luna back to the moment, and she realized she’d been holding her breath. She forced herself to start breathing again, offering a shaky smile in return, and made her way across the tile. “Thank you. Mister Giovanni, right?”

He chuckled. “No need for the formality, Doctor, especially not with my first name. Just Giovanni will be fine. Do you smoke?”

Luna pulled another chair around from beside the desk, shaking her head as she sat down. “No, never have. And since we’re foregoing titles, call me Luna.”

Giovanni nodded, then stamped out the cigarette in an ashtray built into the desk. “Wise of you, Luna. I shouldn’t, myself, but I do anyway. I suppose we all have our vices. I hope your trip was smooth?”

“It was, yeah. Honestly, I haven’t ridden the inter-regional magnet line in a year or so, but it’s always been a nice time.” Luna replied. She looked down at her hands, took a deep breath, then returned her gaze to his. That steely gaze was so focused, she felt like he could see right through her, and it set her nerves sliding toward the anxiety she’d been so desperately trying to avoid. “Listen, I appreciate the politeness, but can you please explain what’s going on? I feel like I stumbled into some kind of spy thriller or sci-fi film.”

“Mm. I can understand that. To business then.” Giovanni crossed his hands on the desk, leaning forward. “Your thesis document was quite an impressive work, though I admit I only understand enough to scratch the surface. Human and Pokemon DNA compatibility is an underappreciated field of study, and ties quite closely to something of a personal project I’ve long had an interest in seeing through.”

The man sighed, shaking his head and clenching one hand into a fist. “Unfortunately, as I believe you learned, those who research this kind of thing are shunned and insulted at best. Don’t think I didn’t see the remarks that were made about you, while I was doing my research. Since I have no interest in seeing my project assailed by the same short-sighted morons, and I’m storing some very valuable artifacts and equipment here, the utmost secrecy was necessary.”

Luna grimaced, teeth grinding at the memories. If it hadn’t been people calling her a pervert, assuming her research was in the interest of cross-species breeding, it was people calling her a psychopath who wanted to create abominations. Even those she considered otherwise level-headed seemed to believe the theories on gene therapy and beneficial sequence splicing she proposed were simply steps on the path to one outrage or another. It was hard not to recall having to deal with anonymous threats from supposed moral crusaders, some far more graphic than others. “In that case,” she began, voice shaking a bit. A pause. She swallowed the lump in her throat, and nodded to him. “In that case, I think I kind of get it.”

Giovanni frowned, leaning back slightly. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to distress you. I should have known that this topic might. Do you need a moment?”

Luna shook her head firmly, focusing on his face again. Cast against the people she’d clashed with so frequently while working on her thesis, his fair skin and dramatic features somehow seemed less severe than before.

The man breathed a relieved sigh, then reached into one of his desk drawers and produced a thick unmarked manila envelope. With a glint in his eye, he slid it across the desk to her. “Good. Let me cut to the chase, then. To make sure you understand how serious I am, let me begin with compensation and work backwards. I am prepared to offer you a salary of twenty million dollars, room and board, and an unlimited equipment and resource fund subject to approval. The details are in this envelope, as well as the unsigned contract forms.”

Luna couldn’t stop herself from gasping, staring at Giovanni wide-eyed. The salary was more than enough for her to live comfortably on its face. Room and board? An equipment and resource fund with no cap? This had to be some kind of prank. She watched his eyes, sure that at any second he’d burst into laughter. But the laughter never came. He simply smirked, as though he was satisfied by the moment for some other reason.

“Supposing you find those terms agreeable enough to go on for now,” he said, pulling a pen from his coat pocket, “and you go ahead and sign the non-disclosure agreements within, I’ll be happy to explain just what is worth so much to me. Once you know the details, we may renegotiate any aspect of the compensation package you wish to address.”

Luna looked down at the envelope as he placed the pen beside it. Impossible as it seemed, the man was somehow serious. Words failing her, she opened the envelope and pulled out the small stack of papers it held, scanning the contract that sat on top.

Finally, she looked up and met his eyes again. “Could I show this to a lawyer? No offense, this is just hard to believe.”

“Naturally.” Giovanni nodded once. “In your position, I doubt I would do any differently. I just ask that you keep in mind the secrecy I’ve worked so hard on. If they ask where you got the contract, it would be preferential if you told them as little as possible. Information is a hot commodity in Saffron City, and it grows more valuable the more notable the subjects involved. It would pain me greatly to have this place’s privacy ruined by the wrong word to the wrong person.”

The doctor nodded mutely, sliding the contract back into the envelope. In the moment, with her thoughts already trying to pull her focus in too many directions at once, she simply had no room to spare to decide if this too made sense or raised a red flag. Instead, she turned what remained of her focus to the NDA that appeared next in the stack.

She’d signed dozens of these in the past. This was far more expansive than she was used to, but it was at least familiar. The single page that declared nearly everything about the project, including its location and the names of the people involved, to be a protected secret. She signed it without a second thought, slid it to him, and crossed her arms in an attempt to steady herself. The rest of the papers loomed, but she ignored them, pushing the whirlwind of concerns down in her head to focus on the question at hand. “Okay. You said details after I signed that. Let’s talk details.”

Giovanni nodded, placing the paper back into the desk drawer it came from. He drew himself up in his seat, then stood, smoothing his suit with one hand. “Let’s talk details, indeed. Let me show you the key to all of this, the most valuable object I, or perhaps anyone, has ever owned.”

Luna’s brow furrowed as she stood, arms tight against her. “That’s a pretty bold claim.”

“It is,” Giovanni said, walking toward the left third of the room. As he walked, lights came up around a glass-covered display that sat prominently in his path. “But I think you’ll agree, once you understand.”

Luna followed him with hesitant steps, though once the lights came up her stride became more purposeful. While Giovanni walked around to the other side of the case, she gazed down upon its contents and frowned deeply at the categorization label of No. 150 next to them. Instantly, all of the chaotic thoughts in her head vanished in favor of one simple truth.

“No offense, Giovanni, but you must have been scammed.” She offered, after a moment of contemplation. “This has to be a fake, just like every other one that’s supposedly been found. I’m sure it’s a very convincing one, though.” “Mm. None taken.” Giovanni said, placing his hand in his pocket with a knowing smile. “I would say the same thing, if our positions were reversed. Would you like to see what I had extracted, on my dime, by someone I trust, from this sample?” Luna lifted her gaze from the single strand of bright pink hair, suspended in its vacuum prison. It simply couldn’t be possible that this was anything more than a ruse. No legitimate sample of anything from the mythical species 150 had been found, ever, and it would’ve been international news if one had. It was only in the last fifty years that the scientific community had even begun to consider its existence as anything more than another legend, after photographic evidence of it was finally published, and even that was still met with intense skepticism.

Still, the idea that it might be real tugged at the part of her brain that wanted so badly to believe. Against her better judgment, she sighed and nodded. “Fine. Hit me.”

Giovanni pressed a button hidden on the case’s metal support, and the glass top went opaque save for the view of the sample itself. A second passed, and the display lit up with a document that nearly stopped the doctor’s breathing.

The name at the top alone would’ve been enough to give her goosebumps. The legendary Doctor Philip Fuji himself, the enigmatic master of the remote Cinnabar Island Research Lab, had signed off on this. Certainly, it could be faked, but the way the report was written was a perfect mirror of the many papers she’d spent sleepless nights thumbing through. To complicate matters further, the report was co-authored by the fiery scientist and leader of the Cinnabar Island Gym, Roger Blaine. She scanned through the report wordlessly, scarcely remembering to breathe. Genetic code of unthinkable complexity, on the order of eight separate strands at least. While it was somewhat damaged, sampling intact sequences created 100% base matches in over half of known species just from one week of computerized searching. Perhaps most alarming, more than any other Pokemon, the DNA racked up matches for human sequences in spades. The pair differed on the practical applications of the discovery, Blaine considering the potential of the DNA as a blueprint for understanding the propagation of different abilities while Fuji candidly stated that it may have extensive use in the field of medicine. The one thing they both agreed upon, in the end, was that the sample was legitimate.

The report ended with an appeal to Giovanni, their client and apparent friend. The sample should stay hidden, the research unpublished. The scientific community would fall upon it in a frenzy, they argued, and more sinister minds than theirs would inevitably find a darker purpose for it. Whatever else he chose to do with it, they insisted, it should be his choice. Especially, Blaine added, as Giovanni had just announced his retirement from the public life of the Viridian City Gym.

“Holy shit.” Luna breathed, lifting her head for the first time in fifteen minutes. Giovanni was watching her with an amused smirk, seemingly unbothered by the wait. She cleared her throat, standing up fully again. “Giovanni, this is impossible.”

“You know,” he said, glancing down at the report himself, “Phil said the same thing, back then. Roger’s cursing about it was, we’ll say, inventive. If you still doubted my need for secrecy before, surely you understand it fully now.”

“Yeah. Fuck, yeah, I do.” Luna said. She thought for a moment more, then focused on his eyes again. “Okay. So. You’ve got a real sample of 150. As real as they get. What’s this got to do with me?”

“In other words, the job itself. As you saw, the sample is corroded.” Giovanni said, placing a hand on the displayed report. “As it is now, any real application of it would be difficult, at best. You are going to analyze it yourself, using the equipment I will provide you. You are going to be given access to a war chest that I have been building for twenty years for this very purpose. And using the splicing techniques you theorized about, you will take human and Pokemon DNA and repair the damage into a viable sample for cloning. And then.” Giovanni’s hand closed, and he inhaled deeply. Luna’s head swam from the implications of what she was hearing, but she hung on every word.

“And then, alongside one of the most brilliant technicians living today, you will change the world.”

[chicago-geniza]

on the one hand it's possible & even necessary in the interest of full-bodied interpretations & multidimensional critique (beyond the literal & autobiographical) to separate the art from the artist. on the other hand as the most neurotic person alive with the demographic profile & scrupulosity brainworms i have, you have no idea what a relief it was when masha scream issued a public statement condemning the war in no uncertain terms (her family is from ukraine; there was a LOT of mat lol) & telling "patriots" where to stick it. same relief as when she told skinheads to essentially detonate a nazi grenade up their collective ass & stay out of arkona mosh pits. when it's -32 degrees & i want to [parody] [satire] nothing gets me out of bed like this stupid pagan metal band i've listened to for 10+ years, that inspired my undergrad thesis, & the reason i haven't quit them when i've quit most other metal is because they consistently & vocally tell rodnover neo-nazis & russian ethnonationalists to get fucked, & they have to do it like, all the time, because, you know, it's slavic pagan metal. i am sure there's some weird pan-slavism afoot & i'm not, like, a child getting disillusioned when my celebrity role model behaves badly, but you know i feel a bit of a bilious, oxidized-copper tang when nochnye snaipery come on shuffle, it's the long arm of the present crumpling a past association around the edges. & because masha was like "fuck the war, fuck the gov't, & fuck you," some of the music that got me though the worst years of my life isn't curdled in retrospect by the musicians being political turds lol

yes i am fully aware of how insignificant & absurd this is in the grand scheme of things but sometimes you haven't seen the sun in almost 2 weeks & there's a polar vortex & most of the people you spoke russian with now refuse to speak it for political reasons & are learning ukrainian instead (often in addition to yiddish) & like. i can read it okay & passively comprehend it well (i actually *speak* a variant of surzhyk!) but it's not my "heritage language" any more than hebrew would be. learning another language is always good but depriving oneself of a language because some of its speakers commit atrocities feels like capitulation to linguistic nationalism, renunciation of...cultural connections across borders, outright denial of history, rejection of the self who exists in that language, their emotions, their experiences. idk. i think about vogel writing in yiddish, how sometimes you can hear polish behind it, sometimes german. how when zelenskyy speaks ukrainian you can often hear the russian behind it. when the self-declared subaltern speaks in a reclaimed national language, the "native" language[s] of empire pulse beneath its skin, & a new dialect falters to its legs, yeah? legenda czasu. to be clear i think this is good and interesting, it's just the concept of linguistic nationalism, & "native" language corresponding to the nation-state, adopted even among anarchists, that i find troubling.

also back to the point of the original post very funny for patriots to get weird about masha scream when several of their songs are in surzhyk lol

[sunderedazem]

WoLposting on main for what (and how) he's doing after Endwalker-

He's starting with changing his hairstyle from the long braid with bangs to a shorter ponytail/shaggy bob cut after Endwalker because it feels like. The end of an era. And he's mourning losing his friends' constant presence, a little (even if he and G'raha are now courting and being idiot catboys about it). It's just. Cutting away what was out of grief. He's losing the Scions, at least ostensibly, because they're all splitting up and going different ways, and he's. A lot lost without them.

But also the haircut is because he doesn't want to be some folk hero and only that. Like he's cool with it, but also- he wants time to be Corrain, to figure out who Corrain is. He became the Warrior of Light when he was seventeen and has been that ever since, and before that was just a Keeper foundling in Gridania trying to complete a conjurer apprenticeship so he could get citizenship - he hasn't had the time to figure out what he wants. And sure, being adopted by Edmont and House Fortemps helped - he had a home and a family and a nation finally, even if he's sort of in the same sort-of son category Haurchefant was - but he's got little snippets of Azem's memory bleeding through, he knows there's a wanderlust in him that won't settle, and he needs Corrain de Fortemps to be someone who has the space to find out who he is. And for that he can't be clocked as the WoL everywhere he goes!

So he takes a knife and chops off his braid and then Y'shtola and Krile find him sitting in front of a mirror with this awful fluffy mess and help him shape it better, and when it's long enough to put up he just ties it back in a ponytail. And he just- wanders aimlessly. He helps G'raha a lot, they're definitely dating in a Halone-sanctioned way lmao, and he trails around visiting Scions.

And he's almost invisible. The people who know who he is know Corrain and not just the Warrior of Light, and now the bards' stories don't describe him perfectly and- he's got space to breathe. Space to discover he genuinely likes archaeology and researching bygone eras and writing about them, space to go around and record the mechanical particulars of his forays into ancient ruins and alternate worlds and etc, space to polish his knowledge about foraging and botany and learn how to travel with cookware only and make meals from the land rather than carry food with him-

And all of this to say he finds that - outside of being the Warrior of Light - he genuinely likes the kind of adventuring that comes with learning opportunities. He likes studying the things he's found, likes the challenge of discovery in the first place. He likes the kind of work the Students of Baldesion do, likes working with scholars. (especially G'raha. Nobody saw that coming 🙄) And more than all that- he's genuinely good at it. He gets to realize a lot of his own archaeological/adventuring skill, while supplemented by time-period experts, is in fact it's own branch of knowledge.

So by the time Dawntrail kicks off - I think he's fully considering trying to write a thesis on it, and maybe try to see if Sharlayan would give him an Archon's mark about it. Sure- he's not a Sharlayan citizen, he has strong ties to Ishgard in the vein of being an adopted son of one of the four high houses. But he's also openly dancing circles around G'raha and Artoirel is definitely interested in having a no-inheritance-threat adopted baby brother with a foothold in Sharlayan and- well, House Fortemps approved of G'raha already anyway, they're expecting that to happen.

He's definitely found himself in a lot of ways by the time the next expansion will kick off. Of course part of that is being an actual adult and a twenty-something instead of a teenager, but also- coming to terms with being nine-fourteenths of Azem, coming to terms with defining himself rather than letting what he can do define him, coming to the realization that he's allowed to like what he does and who he is.

That the hope he found in Ultima Thule is actually allowed to feel like his own, and it's not selfish of him to feel that way. That he's allowed to live for himself.

And. Like damn. Finally! but also I'm proud of him. He turns out alright in the end.

Excited to start Dawntrail with this version of Corrain. He's just so much less- desperate to prove something. He proved everything he needed to prove to himself already. And now he finally just adventure for adventure's sake.

[galaxywhump]

5, 19, 24, 30 for the writers ask game? (Sorry, so many were good!)

Nothing to be sorry about, I love asks! :D

5. What are some of your OCs biggest fears?

Wren - In general: someone seeing him the way he sees himself. On SV-240: giving up and accepting and reciprocating Daniel's affection. Right now: people accusing him of not acting earlier to save more victims of the trade.

Oscar: never getting out and leaving [redacted] on their own; also getting his wings cut off.

Karita: something that will be featured in the next piece, if I finish it!

Berkeley: being caught, being completely alone.

Bradley: being useless.

19. What are some things that inspired your stories? Real events? Maybe a dream?

The Martian was what initially inspired me to explore the theme of someone being stuck on a remote planet, I added captivity whump to that and that's how SV-240 was born.

Afterwards I think I mostly got inspiration from the community? For instance, amazing hero/villain prompts leading to me writing Caged Canary.

Long ago I was also writing a story that was inspired by a dream I had, it was set in a lighthouse and the protagonist was the lightkeeper's adopted son. He was learning about his past, befriending someone for the first time, and, of course, I never finished it.

24. Do you have/want a career in your medium? If not, what do you do/want to do instead?

Nope! I think my style of writing works better online, where I can post chapters out of order and interact with readers more. I used to dream of being a professional writer, but now I'm happy with it simply being a hobby of mine. I'm hoping to find a job in English-Polish translation :D

30. How are you doing? <3

More or less okay, though tired. I'm finishing the thesis chapter and then I'll be free. Other than that, I'm kind of living from D&D to D&D, it gives me some routine and I enjoy it a lot!

[ulubionywuja]

So I'm graduating an art academy in 4 days...

I'm defending my master's thesis on Tuesday, 11 am. It's been five years since I started this college (technically it's an academy,not university, not art school, it's an art academy), and thought I'd share my thoughts on my time there in a sort of written blog-ish format. I had written blogs as a teenager and younger adult, there were three, and the last one is still there for people to read. (It's mintwmb.blogspot.com, it's in Polish + I was still younger, slightly more cringe and much less bitter when I was writing there. Still love that blog tho.)

I started uni (I'm gonna call it that, it's easier) in 2019 in October. In Poland, academic year has two semesters - a winter one which runs from October to January/February and a summer one, from February to June. I started as a graphic design student, but graphic design was only available as an extramural studies course, which I was ok with... until I learned that it wasn't free, which in a standard in Poland. It was 600PLN/150USD per semester, so 1200PLN/300USD per year. Not really that bad, but still I wasn't having any of it. It was too late to move to general graphics, which is free, so I payed for a year and moved for year 2.

The design course was awful for me, I hated it. We mainly learned how to use Adobe programs, basics of typography, basics of graphic design history etc. There was almost no drawing or painting - duh it's a DESIGN course, but it wasn't that obvious for 19 yo. me. Also I didn't really like the people there, but I think it was also a me problem, not a strictly them problem. I was incredibly depressed during year one, but it's not like they were saints. I knew that they talked shit about me behing my back when I wasn't in the room, but that wasn't really a problem for me? I've been goth for 11 years ffs, I'm used to that! Also I didn't value them as people and I still don't. It's not like we could really get along. I had one friend, her name was Hanna, she liked a lot of stuff that I did. She became friends with the other girls from our year at the end of the summer semester, which I saw as betrayal, but I don't think it's the case now. I wasn't exactly likeable during year one.

The lecturers were weird. One lady, who we'll simply call A., was a nightmare. She glamorised being overworked to an extreme deegree, she even asked people from my group to tell her the time they were going to sleep. She was only impressed with people who had unhealthy sleep schedules because of work and treated it like competition.

I moved to general graphics for year 2. The course includes printmaking (like eatching, linocut etc.) and graphic design. Why put these two together you might ask? Well, in Polish they're both called "grafika". That's the reason. A castle and a zipper are both called "zamek" and nobody confuses these two, so why put such different things into one course? We'll never know.

Me and Hanna during class, year one of Academy

To this day I think I chose my uni course (both of them really) poorly. As a 24yo woman I'd choose something like ethnology, history or cultural studies on Wrocław University, but at that time, a dumbass, late teen version of me thought that a fondness for drawing is enough to go through a Fine Arts Academy without major mental health consequences. It's really not. You need a real appreciation for modern high art (no, not furry fanart), some understanding of it, and most importatnt, a need to create it. I have a need to draw whatever I like at that point, be it a historical era, classic gothic horror icons or even some anime fanart, but no need for fine, modern art. But also, ngl, I feel like painting something pretentious after I learned about it...

Anyways, years 2-4! I moved to general graphics. I was on the same course as my boyfriend. I had a bit of catching up to do... or I could have, but COVID happened. I was so happy when it did, I could finally isolate myself from these people without consequences. I already hated this uni and considered to drop out, but I actually really enjoyed online classes and lectures.

But. I had one particular subject that I hated with burning passion - creative drawing. In this academy you choose two main workshops alongside other classes like photography, typography etc. Workshops are divided into prntmaking workshops and design workshops. At that time we were choosing multiple design workshops but only one printmaking - mine was creative drawing, which is basically a very pretentious mix of modern art, drawing, painting and prontmaking. I was really shit at that ngl. But I wasn't alone there.

There was another girl who moved from graphic design to general graphics and ended up in creative drawing - my to this day bestie Pamela. We are polar opposities, she wears 99% pink and is a dancer, I'm a goth and currently a museum lecturer. At that time neither of us had a job, but I was interested in history and she liked K-pop.

I chose to change my printmaking workshop for Intaglio (mixed media but in the printmaking realm, the professor is a great artist and besides being VERY demanding, a nice man).

An acid etching print that I made in 2022, the plate measures around 100x60cm I believe.

I made a very bad decision called "artbook design workshop" during year 3. The lady leading the workshop was A., with all of her overworking yourself to death bullshit. Our assignment for the semester was making a pocket calendar inspired by the Academy (so they can sell it and never give us a penny). I made one inspired by the Academy's iconic neon sign, known widely in the city. I was getting standard critique sessions every week and showed the so overworked A. and her two assistants, K. and M. my progress. It was all online, so I shared my screen with Adobe Illustrator every time. People who do graphic design will probably be suprised - Illustrator is for designing vectori shapes, like logos. InDesign is for books, you can't make a book in Illustrator. Well, it was my first time making a book and I didn't know. When they realised what I was using, AFTER AT LEAST TWO MONTS OF SHOWING MY SCREEN WITH ILLUSTRATOR OPENED, they lost their shit. And it was all my fault. For not knowing. I re-made it in InDesign but it did cost me a lot of stress and I hold a massive grudge to this day.

The neon calendar made it to an exhibition called Bookmakers 2022, but at what cost.

During year 4 I got into a final leg of an art competition, which required me travelling to Northeast Poland aka Podlasie. The place was nice, but the organisation of the final exhibition was hell and again, made me incredibly stressed out. Also the organisers were almost allergic to listening waht others have to say.

Year 5, doing my master's.

The genral graphics course doesn't give you a bachelor's, it gives you a master's. Extramural graphic design is divided into bachelor's course first and then master's, but for genral, you just make master's. Actually, two of them, in design and printmaking, so I'm gonna be a double MFA in four days. BUT AT WHAT COST. During year 5 it was normal for me to work 15-16 hours per day with one meal break + tiny bathroom / making tea breaks. Also I started my museum job, so sometimes my workday lasted about 20 hours at worst. For a year. When I wasn't doing my museum lectures, I made prints and worked in Illustrator and InDesign. The stress was insane with all of that + paperwork, I have many physical health problems to deal with because of it too. But it's over now! Almost. I spent $400 on printing my design diploma and $70 on chocolate for my promoters (it's a thing you don't technically have to do, but practically, you have to. My bf was the only person who didn't give chocolates to the promoters and he's the only one who got a lower diploma grade <3 Still a 5 - we have a scale from 2 aka failed, to 5,5 aka best grade - but everyone who had gifts got a 5,5). I hope my defense will go well.

My last uni photo, made in the Academy's garden. Had to fill in my thinning-from-massive-stress hairdo in an app, so that's fun :))))

So yeah, that's my uni. I'm so happy to graduate and just work in the museum <3