#and possibly the longest thing I've ever typed in one sitting ever

[priniya]

okay, so i would like to request a theodore nott x reader where reader is like this kind of shy, studious type of girl and theo has had a crush on her for the longest time? like, he always sees her muttering the answers to professors questions and studying in the library and reading in every corner of the castle. maybe she gets dragged to a party by one of her more extroverted friends and ends up hiding away in the corner where theo comes and puts the moves on her?

i've read a few of your fics and adored them, you are such a good writer <33 if you can't get to this ask, i understand. i hope this finds your well <33

🗺️ SMALL WORLDS

synopsis. being an introvert pushed into a crowd of over extraverts isn’t what you imagined doing on a friday night. good thing that theodore nott seems to be the best extrovert you could ever find to be around.

notes. theodore nott x shy!reader. kind of high school!au

req. i’m like. so in love with that request. liz i love you. its all i needed in my life to feel completed. hope i exceeded ur expectations 🕺 also pride n prejudice reference??

oh.

theo didn’t expect to see you there. you were never a party person, you hardly ever went out to hogsmeade with your friends or paid attention to something that wasn’t your thrifted, muggle books. however now, you were standing all dolled up in the corner of the room, surrounded by gwen and betty, – who wanted to make sure you’d be okay on your own – anxiously scanning the common room, when the two girls left you.

something in his mind could tell him that the party wasn’t exactly your cup of tea, the huge, loud crowd you were pushed into was probably just giving you a hard time adjusting to the atmosphere. it wasn’t hard to notice as your eyes couldn’t focus on one thing, hands trembled and you were getting pale, so you had to sit on the emerald chair.

“it’s not nice to stare.” pansy nudged him in his ribcage teasingly, catching his attention almost immediately. his best friend had her arm wrapped around ginny weasley’s waist and a drunken smile spread over her lips. “go get ‘er tiger.” she added, watching him roll his eyes and walk somewhere.

maybe he stared a little. and maybe he made it a little too obvious — or obvious enough to get teased for it by his friends. he had to keep his cool or he would probably scare the shit out of you for being such a creep who just stared. not only at the moment, but also in class when you sit somewhere in front of him, or at the slytherin table.

and, to just make clear that theo has been interested in the curious creature you were, he even started coming to the library more often, staying there and pretending to read, when he couldn’t, so utterly distracted by the way your eyes move, or the way you have to take breaks to react to the book you’re reading, or the way you sometimes look his way, but look away the second you make eye contact.

theodore nott has never been a shy type of guy — overly confident, always hanging out with the elite, and looking above on everybody. or maybe that’s what everyone thought, because when he was to make a few steps in your direction, all the traits people knows him for were gone. he felt like a little kid, who wanted to ask his mom a big, important question, but couldn’t let it out of him.

his legs felt wobbly, making him as confused as it was possible. he’s never experienced anything like that over a girl who’s doubtlessly more into the book on her lap than she’d ever been into him. a stupid smile appeared on nott’s face the second you brought your gaze higher, falling on his lightly flushed face.

“uh, hi.” you struggled to let out, a little flustered that he came up to you like that. having closed the book, your gaze fell on his face one more time, analysing who you’re talking to, though it didn’t take too long to figure out it was theodore nott.

“hey.” he replied, shamelessly taking a seat next to you. for the fifteen seconds he was walking there, he thought about all the possibilities of conversation, but then? he just sat next to her silently for half a minute. “doin’ alright?” a question left his lips.

“i–, uh. kind of.” you lied, stuttering at the same time.

of course you knew theodore nott, who didn’t? he was a friend of mattheo and draco, a lacrosse player and a smart-talker. never studying, but always perfect on tests. and, in addition to top it all – undeniably handsome that keeping eyes off him was like a death sentence.

his eyes rolled in playfulness. “funny. you look more than just miserable.” the boy commented, his eyes fixated on your face as he speaks. “would you mind if i keep you company?” theo flashed you a cheeky smile and you just shook your head silently, watching him as he took a closer seat.

“you don’t have to speak.” nott added quickly, seeing a piece of distress at him keeping you company, and the way your hands gripped the cup you held. “you can just… act like you listen to whatever i’m sayin’, that’s fine with you?” his head tilted to the side waiting for a most likely short answer.

once you agreed or maybe it’s better to say once you didn’t refuse, he started rambling, rambling and rambling, trying so hard to make you laugh — chuckle, at least. oh and was he so proud of himself when he finally did. and minutes after that, you started replying to him more often, and god, it sent him to heaven, even though he was the one speaking much more, hearing you reply once in a while was enough.

the music was getting louder with each second, and he took you out for a walk, showing you around a little, because you were not exactly from that part of the town. “you smoke?” he asked, and he knew the answer immediately. you didn’t, but you nodded, waiting till he extends his hand with the pack of cigarettes.

you brought the cigarette to your parted lips, feeling his gaze on you. the motive for the whole smoking part was completely unknown to you — you never smoked, neither did you want to, but how could you ever say no to theodore nott, when he ditched the party to talk to you.

so… somehow, it led you to do what you can to impress him. you took a drag, feeling his eyes on you, and… started coughing so much you had to hold his arm for a few seconds to keep your composure. you could see theo trying his best not to laugh at your poor attempt at smoking. his teeth dig into his bottom lip as he bit back a smile, not wanting to make you feel bad.

“it’s better that way.” he nudged your side lightly, trying to cheer you up, seeing the embarrassment painting all over your face. “someone really doesn’t want you to smoke up there.” theo joked, making the corners of your lips curve a little upwards.

there was a comfortable silence between the two of you for some time, just walking around the town, enjoying each other’s presence until he finally decided to give it a break. “you’re not the type to party.” theodore stated, giving you a side glance. ��lost a bet or something?” he asked, his left eyebrows lifted.

you walked beside him, hands laced behind your back as he asks the question. you couldn’t help but tilted your head slightly to the side to take a better view of him — of his sharp jawline, high cheekbones, those beautiful eyes of his and those lips— shit. you almost forgot he asked you a question and maybe even worse, noticed you staring.

“no.” he got a little head shake for an answer, before you found yourself revealing even more. “just promised my friends i’d go out with them.”

to theo, it sounded like something you’d do. even though he hardly ever spoke more than few words to you, he’s been perceptive and watching you in class was something he did most of the time, the reason behind it? his crush fell too deep to not continue looking for an opportunity to make a move.

“mhmm.” he mumbled under his breath, turning his face to look at you, a smile creeping onto his lips. “to be fair, despite the visible discomfort on your face, you look real pretty.” theo gave you a cheeky smile, before adding. “though, comfort looks so much better on you.”

shit. this motherfucker. his smooth way with words got you blushing from the top of your head down to your toes. before you could even stutter an answer, you felt the fuzzy insides of his coat on your shoulders. it felt so unreal yet so realistic at the same time. were you dreaming? you wish you weren’t.

“is it really that visible?” a soft sigh has left your lips, stopping in your tracks to look at him. “nah, just if someone has been paying attention to you before, they’ll notice.” the boy shrugged, your cheeks growing even hotter.

he’s been paying attention to you. theodore nott, the slytherin, has been paying enough attention to you to notice how uncomfortable you were in gwen’s dress. his cheeky smile got even cheekier as you were processing everything in your mind, the two of you standing in front of each other in the middle of the pavement.

your lips were slightly parted as you tried to think of something to say without embarrassing yourself more. you didn’t even catch the moment when he leaned a little closer until the two of you were inches away. “theo…?” a quiet whisper escaped your lips, your head tilted upwards to look at him.

“i’ve been infatuated with you for a while now.” confessed theodore, your breath hitching in your throat. what now? “it’s not the ‘i like you’ talk, it’s the mr. darcy’s ‘you’ve bewitched me, body and soul’ talk. i’m not myself when you’re not around.” his words are like honey on your ears, his hand finding yours, your eyes never leaving his.

“you like jane austen?” you giggled, accidentally interrupting his confession.

“y/n.” he groaned. “please, can i kiss you? i don’t think i’ll be able to breathe without it.” theo seemed desperate, but you couldn’t mind, it was theo who wanted to kiss you, the guy you always stared, when no one looked, the only guy that ever appeared in your dreams.

it took him just a small nod from you to lower his head and crush his lips into yours. at first, you could feel all the emotions he wanted you to feel — the desperation, the need, and the happiness that came with finally being able to kiss you. his fingers found its way to your hair, pulling you even closer as your lips moved against his so perfectly.

if it wasn’t for your fist that gripped the fabric of his collar, you’d probably pass out from the sensation of his mouth on yours. you had to break out for a few seconds to catch some air, but this time — you were the one who kissed him, standing on your tiptoes, kissing him like your life depends on it. he tasted like the liquor he had drunk before you two got away, and menthol cigarettes.

his forehead is resting against yours, after the two of you finally pull away yet so slightly. “were you for real?”

“i have never been as for real as i am right now, y/n. if being so enamoured with you was a crime, i’d be facing lifetime.”

[emblemxeno]

Ideas for a Fire Emblem Game

Hi, I wanted to post my ideas for some things I'd include in a Fire Emblem game, because I never shared a creative thing of mine on here before.

I have outlines for Lore, General Plot, Themes, Chapters, Characters/Personal Skills, Classes/Unit Types, Weapons and Items, and one Other thing.

This is LONG. The longest blog post I ever made, so I'm putting everything under the cut. I don't really know if I wanna do anything more than this, since I've never written fanfic before, but maybe I'll be inspired to do so in the future if I feel like it.

Lore

---For lore inspiration, I drew from the Four Symbols in Chinese culture. I'm using their Japanese names because FE is a Japanese series.

---Backstory is that before life existed, there was emptiness. Then suddenly a flash of light that led to life. Unfortunately, one these lives was a Gold Demon Dragon (Kohryu) that threatened humanity. Then, seemingly out of nowhere, four divine beings defeated and drove off the Demon: Seiryu, Suzaku, Byakko, and Genbu. They were celebrated across the continent, and before their passing, four countries formed and took their names in reverance. Over time, the four kingdoms began a cycle of going between feuding/warring with each other and peace time, eventually leading to each country evolving into their current forms with new cultures and aesthetics, with only the names of their deities and a shared faith remaining.

---The countries are the Genbu Kingdom, a snowy northern land famed for its knights and with Norse/Germanic aesthetics; the Suzaku Theocracy, a southern desert country home to the major religious establishments and Egyptian aesthetics; the Byakko Empire, a meritocratic temperate western land covered with forests and jungles with Yoruba inspirations; and the Seiryu Dynasty, a relatively isolationist island nation that's the capital of the arts, famed for war ships and dragon riders, and Japanese inspirations.

---Each country also has their own holy artifact, said to be the concentrated powers of their deities; Genbu's Black Tiara, Byakko's Pearl Bracelet, Seiryu's Jade Sigil, and Suzaku's Fire Emblem. These artifacts are responsible for maintaining magical balance, for advancing warriors to new levels of power, and granting mysterious cognitive powers, such as preserving historical records and premonitions of possible immediate futures.

General Plot

---Four main characters to parallel the Four Symbols. The primary main character is a jaded but compassionate young Dark Mage/Savant of mixed ancestry, who comes from a village on the Genbu border that houses families from different cultures and countries, which serves as thematic foil to the countries at large being at odds aside from annual conferences. Dark Mage is raised by his father, a retired Genbu knight. After displaying remarkable tactical and diplomatic skill in quelling a long time bandit group, the Dark Mage/Savant and his father are invited back to the Genbu capital to sit in on a conference between groups of country representatives.

---There he meets the other main characters, a suave Swordmaster/Hero from Suzaku, a melancholy Falcon Knight/Valkyrie from Byakko, and a brash Dancer/Kabuki from Seiryu. Genbu's royal family (including a generous prince), Byakko's imperial entourage (including the emperor himself), and Seiryu's dynasts (including a branch family chancellor) are in attendance, as well as the high bishop of Suzaku standing in for the holy family, the reason for this being a civil war happening within the theocracy and each side lead by heads of the holy family, a sister and brother.

---Unnerved and annoyed with the pomp and circumstance of the conference, Dark Mage exits the court in a fit, which both tenses and intrigues the important figures there. Under surprising circumstances, he and his father are employed by the high bishop to help end the civil war, with direct assistance from Genbu knights. The high bishop also gifts him the Fire Emblem, Suzaku's precious holy artifact.

---Dark Mage/Savant employs cold yet efficient tactics, weaponizing the power of words and rumors to minimize as much direct combat as possible by causing the rebel forces to crumble from within. Eventually the civil war is ended in Suzaku with much less bloodshed than expected, a feat that Dark Mage/Savant is celebrated for, especially by his Swordmaster/Hero compatriot, who takes a liking to him.

---However, everything is turned upside down upon returning to Genbu, where warfare and destruction runs rampant. In the chaos, the boy's father is seemingly killed by an unknown magic user. The boy's party escapes to the borderlands, where the other main characters (Swordmaster/Savant, Falcon Knight/Valkyrie, Dancer/Kabuki) meet him and relay what's happening: the prince of Genbu committed treason and slew his family with support of forces from Byakko's emperor and Seiryu's chancellor, all in a grand scheme to forcibly unite the continent under one banner once more.

---After regrouping, the main characters make a risky play to topple the Byakko Empire from within, with covert support from the now defending Suzaku Theocracy. Despite Byakko's renowned military might, its merit based society is fragile and on the verge of mutinous infighting due to the disparity of privilege and strength in its population. Fed up with her country's unforgiving and misguided way of governance, the Falcon Knight/Valkyrie personally takes command and leads the party to liberate her countrymen, in the name of fighting for the weak. Due to these surprise attacks and waning support from his people, the Emperor is killed in a last stand, and the Byakko Empire is now allied with Suzaku under the guide of the Falcon Knight/Valkyrie.

---Taking the next step to secure the alliance, the party heads to the border, but is locked into a battle between their forces and the combined might of the Genbu Prince and Seiryu Chancellor who were targeting a battalion lead by Suzaku's high bishop. Repelling the forces, the party take the high bishop into their protection, where they are also greeted by surprising guests: apparitions of the Four Divine Deities.

---Big lore drops happen. The high bishop explains that another player in this conflict is his would-be successor, a nihilist bishop who, through forbidden magic, gained the power of the ancient Gold Demon Dragon, Kohryu. The deities reveal that they didn't defeat Kohryu, but rather they are all facets of the Demon, having split off from each other upon bearing witness to humanity's beauty. This fact was lost to history over millennia and the ascent of the deities to a new plane, but after their passing, they left their powers encased in artifacts to support humanity's progress. However, this proved to be a double edged sword: were their powers to ever be reunited, it would spell the return of the Demon. Despite this, this also meant that the deities still had ties to the plane of humanity, and could descend back through a divine prophecy: "Bearers of our virtues, through our caller we may return, grant our gifts, and become one with the land beloved."

---Through a divine rite led by the high bishop, the four main characters are bestowed divine powers and weapons. Coming to terms with her country's misdeeds, the Dancer/Kabuki calls for the party to launch an offensive on the Seiryu Dynasty. Upon arrival to the island nation, the Dancer's/Kabuki's resolve serves as inspiration for disillusioned commoners and lower ranked nobles to rise against their home's ambitious chancellor.

---As the party fights further into Seiryu, it's revealed that Seiryu's dynastic family had been turned into puppet figures by the chancellor, who was blackmailing them with secrets of past crimes committed by the nation yet hidden from the public. Seiryu's chancellor, Genbu's prince, and Byakko's emperor all shared ideologies: they believed their continent has suffered disarray and tragedy due to being split apart, and humanity will stay weak and at war with each other unless forcibly united under a single banner. In a previous conference, they were all approached by the high bishop's successor/the nihilist bishop, who promised power and influence through religious dogma as tools to further all their ambitions.

---The chancellor and her loyalists are defeated, and the family dynasts freed. The family decides to divulge their secrets to the public: their ancestors once sought to use forbidden magic on their holy artifact and, by means of war, declare full independence from the rest of the continent and dissolve the legitimacy of the church, one of the few remaining unifiers that the continent had left. This was discovered by the high bishop at the time, and this plot was ended before it began. As punishment, the dynasty's secret was used by the church and the other countries as leverage to justify possible pre-emptive subjugation in case of future wars. This information was privy only to the leaders and other high ranked officials in each nation. Despite this being done under the guise of keeping the peace, this act ironically exacerbated tensions between the nations as well as the church, with more and more conflicts sprouting throughout centuries due to shifting power dynamics.

---The final piece of the puzzle falls into place. The high bishop's successor had lived a life of tragedy. He was orphaned at a young age by bandits in a Genbu village. The Genbu knights were warned about a rising bandit group terrorizing more and more villages, yet they did nothing to quell this problem until it was too late for many families. The future successor began wandering, rejecting his homeland of Genbu. When he was too weak to make a life in Byakko, and the decadence of Seiryu disgusted him, he turned to the church in Suzaku. There he finally found solace; that is, until the years of secrecy and backstabbing (as well as the origins of the Four Deities) was taught to him in preparation for his succession and responsibility. This was his breaking point, and he began a plot to erase humanity from the face of the earth. As a religious figurehead, he devised to use forbidden magic on the holy artifacts in order to combine them and bring back the Demon. He enthralled ambitious leaders of the nations, manufactured the Suzaku civil war through lies to draw eyes away from him as he came into contact with each artifact, and planned the grand war to afford him time to further complete the Demon's resurrection.

---To end this war, the party marches back to confront this nihilist bishop as well as Genbu's prince. A sideplot has been occurring alongside the main one ever since the party's first major attack on Byakko: a dangerous, ghostly horseman has been appearing in various battles, seemingly targeting the Dark Mage/Savant main character relentlessly. This turns out to be his father, corrupted by the nihilist bishop's attack back when Genbu was usurped. The father's mind became distorted; while he was supposed to be killed and brought back as a soldier under the influence of the Demon, his previous contact with Genbu's holy artifact (because he's a pre-promote) in combination with his strong willpower and love for his son led to him instead surviving and becoming a rogue, unpredictable force. While he would previously attempt to settle things peacefully or justly, now he would slaughter those who angered him (ironically, this happened to be to the detriment of the nihilist bishop, whose soldiers were often victim's of the father). However, his killer instinct and longing to see his son again became entangled with one another, leading to him attacking his blood. Before the party of heroes is able to advance on Genbu's capital, they take on the Dark Mage's/Savant's father one more time, and thanks to their newly bestowed divine powers and access to three of the artifacts, they are able to ward of his corruption and revive him.

---This, in turn, leads to the deities regaining more of their powers, as they themselves were born from the Demon. They take the father's corruption/darkness unto themselves and once again take physical forms to assist the party in their final battles. The party faces off against magically resurrected knights, court officials, and even the former king, queen, and princess, before finally meeting the prince, who has gone mad in combination from his actions during the war and his side's continuing losses. The party defeats him, and eventually confront the nihilist bishop. However, this is a trap! According to the forbidden rites, "To revive the Demon, a soul of emptiness must be freed from the shackles of flesh to serve as host." Killing the bishop brings back the Golden Demon Dragon, Kohryu. In a last stand the party throws all of their might at the Demon, but in order to destroy him for good, the Four Deities decide to use their very lives to do so. They ask their inheritors to make a world for all, where love can bloom freely, and light will always pierce the darkness.

---In the epilogue, each nation goes under reconstruction: the father of the Dark Mage/Savant is elected Knight Lord of Genbu's new kingdom; the Falcon Knight/Valkyrie recruits a roundtable of people from different walks of life to push Byakko into a direction of charity; the Dancer/Kabuki works with the dynasts to end the nation's isolationism and is on the verge of a cultural renaissance as a result; the heads of the Suzaku Theocracy and the high bishop tirelessly fund international reconstruction and provide sanctuary for war vicims, with the Swordmaster/Hero working as ambassador; the four main characters routinely meet up to journey together for days, even weeks at a time so as to maintain their bond and love for their homes.

Themes

----I intended the themes for this plot to be: rejection of destructive nihilism and misanthropy; rejection of both isolationism and forced unification, instead promoting mutual cross-cultural trust and companionship while still respecting each other's borders; the power of words and diplomacy, for good and bad; the idea of true strength comes from a foundation of wanting to help your fellow man despite differences, rather than one of everyone simply being under one banner (i.e. not having differences to possibly clash over at all).

Chapters

Here are what I outlined for chapters and character join times. I also have an idea for paralogues being accessed through memory events a la the memory prisms in FE Echoes, and completing them gives Bonus EXP, but I haven't thought far enough ahead as to what the paralogues would be.

Prologue-Page of History: M!Dark Mage/Savant, M!Sword Paladin, M!Fighter, MtF!Pegasus Knight

Chapter 1-Compassion: M!Myrmidon, M!Soldier, F!Archer

Chapter 2-Rare Opportunity: M!Mage, F!Priest

Chapter 3-Hall of Pride: F!Sword Armor, F!Lance Armor

Chapter 4-March to Suzaku: F!Axe Cavalier

Chapter 5-Desert Divide

Chapter 6-Faithful Clash

Chapter 7-The Ruthless Strategist: M!Thief, F!Hunter

Chapter 8-The Weight of Words: M!Fighter

Chapter 9-Vision of Love: M!Swordmaster/Hero

Chapter 10-Shattered: Lose M!Sword Paladin

Chapter 11-Tooth and Nail: F!Falcon Knight/Valkyrie, F!Kabuki

Chapter 12-A War For Whom?

Chapter 13-Braving The Forest: F!Dragon Master

Chapter 14-Duty to Protect: FtM!Lance Paladin, M!Sniper, M!Axe General

Chapter 15-Tiger’s Keep: M!Tamer

Chapter 16-Imbalance: F!Sorcerer

Chapter 17-Value of Strength

Chapter 18-Brink of Collapse: F!Sage

Chapter 19-The People’s Champion: F!Halberdier

Chapter 20-The Four Gods

Chapter 21-Turning the Tides: M!Saint, M!Dragon Lord

Chapter 22-The Jade Dynasty

Chapter 23-Betrayer’s Resolve: F!Trueblade, M!Druid

Chapter 24-Desperate Measures

Chapter 25-Sinking Below: F!Assassin, F!Falcon Knight

Chapter 26-Catharsis

Chapter 27-A Future’s Cost

Chapter 28-Welcome Home: Re-gain M!Sword Paladin/Great Knight

Chapter 29-Snowfall Memories

Chapter 30-For Our Children: M!Manakete, M!Phoenix, F!Beastkin, F!Guardian

Chapter 31-Court of Ice

Chapter 32-The Bloody Dais

Chapter 33-Emptiness

Finale-A World For All

Characters and Personal Skills

---I haven't come up with names for anyone besides the Four Deities lol. All I have are personal skills (which for the main characters change as they are granted divine powers at the end of Chapter 20, and the Dark Mage's father when he returns after being cured of his corruption). I made the Personal Skills powerful because I envisioned no other skills in this game, offensive or otherwise. Personal skills and equippable items are the name of the game in team building here.

M!Dark Mage/Savant: (Pre-Chapter 21) Understanding-Allies within 3 spaces recover 5 HP per turn/(Chapter 21 onward) Compassion’s Pulse-When this unit uses a healing/support staff, grants Def/Res +5 to target allies for 1 turn

M!Sword Paladin: (Prologue-Chapter 10) Doting Father-Enemies suffer Def/Res-5 for 1 turn after combat with this unit/(Chapter 28 onward) Stalwart Father-Str/Spd +5 if HP > 50%, Def/Res +5 if HP < 50%

M!Fighter: Stubborn Ox-Def/Res + X for the rest of the current map, with X = number of times this unit has taken damage (max = Def/Res +5)

MtF!Pegasus Knight: Unicorn Dame-Female allies within 2 spaces deal +3 damage and take -3 damage

M!Myrmidon: Like Water: Grants Spd +3 and Avo +15 when foe initiates combat

M!Soldier: Seeking Strength: Str + X for the rest of the current map, with X = number of enemies this unit has defeated (max = Str +5)

F!Archer: Hidden Vitriol-Damage dealt +5 when initiating combat

M!Mage: Young Elemental-Use ‘Adept’ Command to attack two foes within range at 50% damage each

F!Priest: Open Warmth-Allies within 4 spaces take -2 damage

F!Sword Armor: Brash Beauty-Unit can move 3 more spaces in the cardinal directions

F!Lance Armor: Sly Sister-If unit’s HP > 50%, grants Mov +2

F!Axe Cavalier: Idle Idol-Use ‘Rally’ Command to grant Dex +8 to and gain support with units within 3 spaces

M!Thief: Plucky Spy-Unit is immune to poison, and gains Avo+20 when attacked by an offensive staff

F!Hunter: Seasoned Huntress-Deals X more damage during combat, with X = number of spaces this unit or enemy moved before combat began

M!Fighter: Atoning Brigand-Hit/Avo/Crit/Eva +20 during combat when adjacent to an ally

M!Swordmaster/Hero: (Pre-Chapter 21) Charm-Hit/Avo +10 to allies within 3 spaces/(Chapter 21 onward) Lover’s Visage-Hit/Avo +20 to all allies on the map

F!Falcon Knight/Valkyrie: (Pre-Chapter 21) Solidarity-Crit/Eva +10 to allies within 3 spaces/(Chapter 21 onward) People’s Champion-Crit/Eva +20 to all allies on the map

F!Dancer/Kabuki: (Pre-Chapter 21) Performer-Use ‘Dance’ command to give an adjacent ally another action/(Chapter 21 onward) Divine Actress-Use ‘Dance’ command to give all adjacent allies another action

F!Dragon Master: Draco Madame-Use ‘Rally’ Command to grant Def+4 to and gain support with units within 3 spaces

FtM!Lance Paladin: Haughty Baron-Male allies within 2 spaces deal +3 damage and take -3 damage

M!Sniper: Smooth Operator-Use ‘Potent’ Command to add an extra strike at half damage during combat

M!Axe General: Thundering Giant-Use ‘Advance’ Command to move 1 space toward a foe that is 2 spaces away and attack with double weapon might

M!Tamer: Crafty Hermit-Grants Crit +30 when not adjacent to an ally

F!Sorcerer: Grand Enchantress-Using a healing or stat boosting item applies the effects to both unit and adjacent allies

F!Sage: Author of Spells-Deals X more damage during combat, with X = 2 * the number of tomes in unit’s inventory

F!Halberdier: Famed Officer-Grants Avo/Crit + X, with X = how many enemies are left on the current map

M!Saint: Heaven’s Caller-Staff range +5 and AoE +1

M!Dragon Lord: Draco Gallant-Use ‘Rally’ Command to grant Str +4 to and gain support with units within 3 spaces

F!Trueblade: Passing A Legacy-Use ‘Rally’ Command to grant Spd +4 to and gain support with units within 3 spaces

M!Druid: Font of Knowledge-Use ‘Rally’ Command to grant Mag/Res +4 to and gain support with units within 3 spaces

F!Assassin: Earth Walker-Unit deals effective damage against all enemies at the cost of avoid rate being cut in half

F!Falcon Knight: Wings of Hope-Str/Spd/Def/Res+4 and Hit/Avo +10 when fighting a higher leveled enemy

M!Manakete: Azure Dragon-Mag/Dex +5 during combat to units within 3 spaces

M!Phoenix: Vermilion Bird-Spd +5 and Avoid +10 during combat to units within 3 spaces

F!Beastkin: White Tiger-Str +5 and Crit +10 during combat to units within 3 spaces

F!Guardian: Black Tortoise-Def/Res +5 during combat to units within 3 spaces

---Here are allegiances/nationalities as well, I made sure that each nation has an equal amount of characters in the party:

Genbu Kingdom, Winter, Norse: F!Genbu, M!Dark Mage/Savant, M!Sword Paladin, M!Fighter, M!Myrmidon, F!Sword Armor, F!Lance Armor, F!Axe Cavalier, F!Assassin

Suzaku Theocracy, Summer, Egyptian: M!Suzaku, M!Swordmaster/Hero, M!Soldier, F!Archer, F!Priest, M!Thief, F!Hunter, F!Sage, M!Saint

Byakko Empire, Autumn, Yoruba: F!Byakko, F!Falcon Knight/Valkyrie, MtF!Pegasus Knight, M!Fighter, M!Axe General, M!Tamer, F!Sorcerer, F!Halberdier, F!Falcon Knight

Seiryu Dynasty, Spring, Japanese: M!Seiryu, F!Dancer/Kabuki, M!Mage, F!Dragon Master, FtM!Lance Paladin, M!Sniper, M!Dragon Lord, F!Trueblade, M!Druid

Classes and Unit Types

-I brought back Radiant Dawns 3 tiers of classes, Engage's unit type systems, and the Trinity of Magic.

-The Weapon Triangle and Trinity of Magic each function like Engage's Break system, but the Weapon Triangle requires damage to be dealt to Break a foe, while the Trinity of Magic's version is called 'Seal' and doesn't require the foe to be damaged, only for a hit to be made; this is to possibly incentivize using magic against other magic users.

-There are no promotion items, as the holy artifacts are used to promote. Every character has a level ranging from 1 to 30. At level 10, units auto promote to tier 2 classes. At level 20, tier 2 units auto promote to tier 3.

Myrmidon (Sword) - Swordmaster (Sword) - Trueblade (Sword)/Hero (Sword, Axe)

Soldier (Lance) - Halberdier (Lance) - Sentinel (Lance)

Fighter (Axe) - Warrior (Axe, Bow) - Reaver (Axe, Bow)

Archer (Bow) - Sniper (Bow) - Marksman (Bow)

Thief (Knife) - Rogue (Knife) - Assassin (Knife)

Sword/Lance/Axe Armor (Sword/Lance/Axe) - Sword/Lance/Axe General (Two Weapons) - Marshall (Three Weapons)

Mage (Anima) - Sage (Anima, Staff) - Archsage (Anima, Staff)

Priest (Light, Staff) - Bishop (Light, Staff) - Saint (Light, Staff)

Dark Mage (Dark) - Sorcerer (Dark, Staff) - Druid (Dark, Staff)/Savant (Dark, Staff)

Sword/Lance/Axe Cavalier (Sword/Lance/Axe) - Sword/Lance/Axe Paladin (Two Weapons) - Great Knight (Three Weapons)

Hunter (Bow) - Tamer (Bow, Knife) - Fenrir (Bow, Knife)

Pegasus Knight (Lance) - Falcon Knight (Sword, Lance) - Seraph Knight (Sword, Lance)/Valkyrie (Sword, Lance)

Dragon Knight (Axe) - Dragon Master (Lance, Axe) - Dragon Lord (Lance, Axe)

Dancer (Knife) - Kabuki (Knife)

Guardian (Breath)

Manakete (Breath)

Beastkin (Strike)

Phoenix (Strike)

Prince (Lance) - Usurper (Lance)

Heiress (Anima) - Chancellor (Anima)

Emperor (Sword, Axe)

Demon (Breath)

The unit types below apply for the entire class lines

Backup: Myrmidon, Soldier, Fighter, Hero, Demon

Covert: Archer, Thief, Dancer

Armored: Sword/Lance/Axe Armor, Guardian, Emperor

Mystical: Mage, Priest, Dark Mage, Savant Manakete, Heiress

Cavalry: Sword/Lance/Axe Cavalier, Hunter, Beastkin, Prince

Flying: Pegasus Knight, Dragonknight, Valkyrie, Phoenix

-The Hero, Savant, Valkyrie, and Kabuki classes are tier 3 excluive promotions for the four main characters when they're blessed by the Four Deities. Guardian, Manakete, Phoenix, and Beastkin are the classes of the Four Deities. Prince/Usurper, Heiress/Chancellor, Emperor, and Demon are enemy exclusive classes.

-Pretty much all the classes are self explanatory as they return from previous FE games, but special mention to the Hunter/Tamer/Fenrir line. I combined the classic Hunter/Nomad class with Engage's Wolf Knight, just so I could have another class to work with.

Weapons and Items

---S Rank Weapons are named after gods/things in various mythologies, Prf Weapons were bestowed from the deities onto their champions

---5 slots for weapons, and 3 slots for items

Swords: Iron, Storm Sword (D), Steel, Armorslayer, Wyrmslayer, Killing Edge, Levin Sword (C), Silver, Tempest Blade, Wo Dao (B), Brave (A), Heimdall (S), Ivory Blade (Prf for Valkyrie)

Lances: Iron, Javelin (D), Steel, Ridersbane, Killer Lance, Flame Lance (C), Silver, Spear (B), Brave (A), Ogun (S)

Axes: Iron, Hand Axe (D), Steel, Hammer, Killer Axe, Hurricane Axe (C), Silver, Tomahawk (B), Brave (A), Hermóðr (S), Scarlet Cleaver (Prf for Hero)

Bows: Iron (D), Steel, Killer Bow, Longbow, Radiant Bow (C), Silver (B), Brave (A), Yemoja (S)

Knives: Iron (D), Steel, Killer Knife, Rune Dagger (C), Silver (B), Brave (A), Horus (S), Jade-Sea Fan (*)

Anima: Fire (D), Thunder (C), Blizzard, Bolting (B), Bolganone, Excalibur (A), Izanagi (S)

Light: Lightning (D), Shine (C), Divine, Purge (B), Aura, Nova (A), Isis (S), Golden Void (Prf for Corrupt Bishop)

Dark: Ruin (D), Nosferatu (C), Luna, Swarm (B), Goetia, Waste (A), Izanami (S), Ebon Verse (Prf for Savant)

Staves: Heal, Mend, Physic, Obstruct (D), Restore, Rewarp, Freeze, Silence (C), Recover, Warp, Rescue, Fracture (B), Fortify, Entrap (A), Osiris (S), Vegvisir (Prf for Savant)

Items - Useables: Vulnerary, Antitoxin, Elixir, Pure Water, Stat Tonics, Torch, Seraph Robe, Energy Drop, Spirit Dust, Secret Book, Speedwing, Dracoshield, Talisman, Goddess Icon, Arms Scroll

Items - Equipment: Renewal Ring, Speed Ring, Mystic Ring, Prayer Ring, Canto Ring, Paragon Ring, Weapon Brace, Full Guard, Chain Guard, Sword Band, Soldier Band, Fighter Band, Archer Band, Armor Band, Pegasus Band, Wyvern Band, Mage Band, Thief Band

Other

----In between chapters, you go back to a base a la the Tellius games. There you view/manage characters, sort inventory, shop and forge items (bringing back paint jobs for weapon forges cuz that's fucking cool), participate in limited number of activities to improve support and gain bonus exp (arena, walking together, managing stables, secure provisions, and eat together), view support conversations, and view base conversations and memory prisms, as well as past custscenes and music.

EDIT: ----Forgot to mention that the holy artifacts are the new rewind features, hence why I described them granting powers to view the immediate future. With each artifact obtained, you gain 5 more rewinds, but given how I planned the story, you'll have just 5 for a long time, then 10 after defeating the Byakko emperor, and 15 after defeating the Seiryu chancellor. I guess after defeating the Genbu prince, you'll then have 20, but there's only 2 chapters left after that... meh, guess it still works.

But there's still a mid-battle save feature like in Engage.

EDIT 2: Had to edit stuff out, like taking skill scrolls out of the useable items list, forgot to delete that when I decided not to include skills

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

HI <3 GOODMORNING <33 pact in ur inbox time...

i think. the best, like, overall real pact propaganda i can give is that i had to stop reading it, like, a third through. like i had to sit down and go okay, i genuinely Cannot do this it will fuck my head up Too Bad. pact is about a little guy being stuck underneath a car and getting dragged along the asphalt until there's just a pulpy mess of bone and flesh and then that mess gets dragged along until there's nothing left at all. it does NOT let up. worm if taylor lost violently and horrifically and got fucked over in deeply personal ways every time instead of winning and never won Once. i still haven't gotten back to it it fucked me UP. <- in the most immensely positive way possible. it's just. radioactive to me personally lmao. i still come back to it for specifically referencing how he writes body horror & his demon world shit. he has the MOST delightful supernatural horror worldbuilding imo what if demons was like making lawyerly contracts with loose hydrogen bombs who want to leave you alive while they eat your face & the only way to prevent that was communicating as clearly and specifically as possible because the whole time they're just waiting for u to slip up... & also. fucked up monsters. u can tell he's having the time of his LIFE describing the most freaks ever.

the best pact propaganda i can give YOU SPECIFICALLY i think is that it is fundamentally about having a fucked up identical mirror twin & about identity and blurring between the two of you and which one's the real one and which one's the good one and is there a good one and who's you and who's them and what's the difference between you and you-in-the-mirror and why are you here and they're there. like i cannot express enough how much the entire almost million word serial hinges on the fact that there are Two Of You when there Wasn't Supposed to be Two Of You. AND ALSO equally as much it is about becoming the horror movie monster lurking in the dark!!!!! the slasher villain!!!!! taking a nice normal guy and then systematically stripping him of his humanity and turning him into a fucked up thing!! and also it gets really transgender about it. anyway. -> propaganda snippets for u i hope u r having a good dayyy <3333

oh fuck yes this sounds SO GOOD. i think I mentioned this in one of my worm posts but wilbow has such a specific way of writing Gross Things that scratches such a nice itch in my mind I can't even IMAGINE what an entire fucking novel of that would do to me. imagine the way i am about worm but × 12 million. holy shit.

ALSO I LOVE THAT I GET SPECIFIC MECORE PROPAGANDA AND THIS SPECIFIC MECORE PROPAGANDA is one of the MOST heart wrenching knife in the gut tropes that I love so dearly . looks at my longest surviving oc from when I was like 13. you've described her. anyway. holy shit dude that's EXACTLY the type of shit I love . I love when there's two of a guy!!!!!!!!!!!! and when it's transgender!!!!!!! fuck dude you can't keep giving me long ass wildbow stories to read I have so many books on my shelf I have not touched yet. my storygraph thinks ive spent the last 2 months not reading bc I've been so deeply entrenched in worm. omg. you've won me over with the propaganda

[goddesspharo]

For the Fanfiction Writing Asks: 35, 36, 40, 46, 56, and 75. A lot, but you’re a fave and I’m so curious!

[fic writing asks!]

Thanks for asking!

35. What's your favorite fic you've posted?

Definitely can't fake what you can't break up with, which I will finish soon. (I think I'm so slow about writing-not writing the last chapter because there's a part of me that doesn't want it to end because it has been so much fun to write! It's been a ton of fun to take a very trope-y soapy concept (drunk married in Vegas, continued marriage For Reasons) and spin it out into all the things. It's also ridiculously long so this year when NaNoWriMo rolls around and I say that I can't do it because I can't possibly meet that type of word count in a month, it'll be a bold-faced lie.

36. What fic are you proudest of?

Probably not every conversation is a new grenade, a post-The Batman fic that was, up until then, the longest fic I'd ever written at like 16k (I wish I could keep things that short these days!) after like a five year gap of not writing any fic. There would be a point during the writing process in the past when I'd just get tired of writing a thing and finish it while leaving a bunch of things I wanted to incorporate on the cutting room floor, but I really saw this one through. I'd only watched The Batman once (maybe twice?) before sitting down to write this - it was pretty early into the theatrical release so WB hadn't kicked it onto Max yet - so I'm particularly pleased with how on point the voices were. I also love nearly every iteration of Bruce/Selina and therefore don't write them as much (it's the old Austenian "If I loved you less, I might be able to talk about it more") because I cannot be objective about how they should just be together, why won't you just let them be together, DC so probably the biggest accomplishment of all is that I even wrote this. It was also just a blast to do and gave me an excuse to bust out the 90s grunge playlist at the very beginning and then just listen to so much BANKS that I could not stop for weeks afterwards.

40. What is your favorite world that you've created for a fic?

The Bear as a band AU in put in in a zip-lock bag. Interestingly, a very natural stretch to transplant people from a chaotic kitchen setting to a chaotic, dysfunctional band setting. Mikey as a Kurt Cobain figure practically writes itself. Years of Behind the Music made this possible! I loved the experience of writing that fic and I loved that world! Everyone could be quietly devastated without burning down the kitchen (no promises about the Lollapalooza stage though).

46. If you could only write one type of AU for the rest of your life, what would it be?

I was going to say Enemies-to-Lovers, hands down, but that's not an AU, I guess. It would be boring to write one type of AU forever, but if I had to choose I'd go with the tried and true spy AU. (...she says as she still has her current spy!AU remains in WIP hell.) As Sydney Bristow has taught us, Spy!Barbie can be anything so you could theoretically have an AU within your one AU and game the system. Also spies are the best! All popped collars and dead drops and so much guilt about the things they've done and the people they've let down. God, we need Alias back and by that I mean put the original show on streaming with the original music since every replacement track they used because they couldn't get licensing for streaming is terrible.

56. Are there any fics that you would change or rewrite if given the chance?

That is one spiral I refuse to go down! Once it's out there, it is what it is. I've never wanted to go back and change any fics in a big way (I have gone back and fixed a grammatical error here and there that escaped notice during the editing process) because I wouldn't post it if I wasn't happy with it at the time. There are fics that I wish I had maybe finished before posting (ah, TGM!spy!AU, why are you so elusive?) because now they are albatrosses that I want to finish, know exactly how to finish, and yet can't finish.

75. Is there a particular fic that readers gravitated towards that you didn't expect?

I never know how anything will be received so I don't even try to guess. I operate on a "don't time the market" philosophy except about fic - it is beyond my control so why perseverate over it? I guess I was surprised by how much traction deflect and absorb got. I don't know why, but I think we were all riding the high of a new Jurassic Park movie after like fifteen years (longer if you ignore Jurassic Park III) and had yet to experience "The Worst Chris" burnout (ugh, he really is the worst though) when Jurassic World came out. It was definitely my big dumb blockbuster that summer! In 2015, it wasn't automatically guaranteed that everything would get a handful of shitty sequels so you could live in the space of just enjoying a movie for what it was without thinking about how they were going to mess it up by stretching it out past the expiration date.

[jaelijn]

Fic Writer 2023 Review

Based on this. I always want to do annual reviews but then don't get around to them and then it feels weird doing them in February, so here we go for once. Under a cut because long (There's 30 things and I ramble. Not sorry.).

1. What’s something new that you tried in a fic this year? How did it turn out and would you do it again?

I suppose that I wrote a fic from Blake's POV counts. I didn't have a big plan for trying something new for Whumptober this year, but I always find myself doing it because everything starts to feel stale if you write 30 fics in so short a timeframe. So the POV was supposed to be what I tried with that fic, but the fic got away from me a bit, so in retrospect the unusual (for me) POV feels comparatively insignificant. There was also more Jenna this year - I think I'm getting there, so yes.

2. How many fics did you work on this year? (They don’t have to be finished or published!)

I have no idea. I have a very long list of WiPs that I am sure I have added a sentence or two across the year, or maybe I just opened them, fixed a few typos and closed them again, and then I have a few handwritten things that I haven't typed up yet. But *at least* it's 35 published things (31 of which are Whumptobers) and the longfic, so 36. Put like that, it sounds terribly prolific.

3. What’s something you learned about yourself as a writer?

I enjoy creating without expectation - immersing myself in the longfic with no idea when it will be done or how long it will get was terribly freeing. The downside is that I also realised that I'm not really intrinsicly motivated to post and share anymore, or at least that thought generates no positive pressure at all because scales. It would be really easy for me to never post another fic right now, but I'm not stopping writing.

4. What piece of media inspired you the most?

Always and ever, Blake's 7. There's nothing else that makes me want to write right now.

5. What fandom(s) did you write for this year?

Accordingly: Blake's 7

6. What ship(s) captured your heart?

Avon/Vila. Though they had me already.

7. What character(s) captured your heart?

See above.

8. Did you write for a new fandom or ship this year?

No. Since a lot of my writing, Whumptober aside, went into the longfic, I didn't do much experimenting - not even during Whumptober, really.

9. What fic meant the most to you to write?

Longfic aside, because as ongoing project that obviously matters, possibly Wet Towels, because it feels like I nailed a tonal direction I want to go in with my Avon/Vila.

10. What fic made you feel the happiest to work on?

By far, the longfic. Some of the Whumptobers were just the right kind of painful, but the most joy creating - yes, the longfic.

11. What fic was the most satisfying to finish writing?

Impending Destiny. I know I keep harping on about this fic, and maybe I'm the only one who thinks it's the best oneshot I've written this year and everyone else hates it, but it was so intense to write and so satisfying.

12. What fic was the most difficult to write? Did you finish it?

I did a few "second takes" on Whumptober this year, so I guess those and no, but then again the second take wasn't difficult, I just wasn't happy with the first and haven't touched those since. Fic I stuck with, possibly either Ghastly Aftermath, because ouch (it's difficult to write while you're crying at your own writing, all right?) , or Mistaken Trust because the final scenes were difficult to get right.

13. What fic was the easiest to write?

Nothing strikes me as particularly easier than the rest, really, but then what published writing I've done has been mostly in my comfort zone either way. So I guess all of the ones that weren't difficult?

14. What were your shortest and longest fics this year?

With Every Single Kiss has literal drabbles, so that, though all of the drabbles together are longer than my shortest oneshot. Longest is the ongoing longfic (duh) currently sitting at approx. 91k.

15. Rec a fic you wrote or posted in 2023

I am once again begging you to read Impending Destiny, lol. But if that isn't you're cup of tea, try Mistaken Trust or Spun Gold.

16. What were you go-to writing songs?

I didn't have many, this year. There's usually at least one or two, but I had a weird year with music, I feel, with few new songs that I really fell in love with, so there's been lots of playlists on shuffle and there's no song I could point to.

17. What were your go-to writing snacks?

I don't really snack when I write for fun, and I've had to cut down on my chocolate intake, so unless it's a chocolate praline, none.

18. What was the hardest fic to title?

Is "all of them" an answer that's allowed? I guess I could say Free Fall, not because of the fic, but because it was the first Whumptober and I was trying to figure out the "title format" for the rest of the Whumptobers. (I don't know if anyone has noticed that the Whumptobers have had title formats for three years now, but either way...) Other than that, the no-longer-so-untitled longfic was the one I put most thought into titling, but I'm not telling yet.

19. Share your favorite opening line

So... the thing about Whumptober is that it makes you *incredibly aware* of opening lines, or the format of opening lines. I try not to start all of them the same way, but I also tend to... slip into self-referential facetiousness doing that, in that all of them become funny when considered side by side.

I suppose "Avon was high." and "When the rebel forces of Carin IX finally managed to fish Avon out of the river, he was drenched to the bone." still amuse me (Spun Gold and Wet Towels, respectively).

20. Share your favorite ending line

Now I have to open all of them again, haha! Uh, let's do a not-Whumptober for once:

But lying curled up in the embrace of his most trusted companion, his link with and buffer against the world, Avon sometimes wondered whether it had been a curse at all. (The Price, from R&F #7)

21. Share your favorite piece of dialogue

Uh... spoiler for Impending Destiny, but I keep it vague and not post the whole thing?

“Whoever said that love is the most powerful force in the universe was a bloody liar,” Avon spat, “or a colossal fool. [....]"

22. Share an excerpt from your favorite scene

Oh for... just... just read Impending Destiny, okay?

23. Share the final version of a sentence or paragraph you struggled with. What about it was challenging? Are you happy with how it turned out?

Oof, I guess the final lines of Mistaken Trust. It would have been so easy to just let them hug and kiss but Avon resisted and once that line was there I had to do something with it that didn't feel unkind to Vila in a plot that... wasn't kind to Vila. I think I managed the balance and once Avon had said no I didn't want to go back to the easy ending, but it wasn't easy to get right.

24. What’s something that surprised you while you were working on a fic? Did it change the story?

... Impending Destiny. It was supposed to be a fix-it fic!!! It's... not a fix-it anymore. The shift was so striking that I made a tumblr post about it.

25. What did you use to write? (e.g. writing programs, paper & pen, etc.)

Word and paper & pen, very occasionally a note app on my phone. All of the Whumptobers had a paper version before I typed them, but I've only written snippets of the longfic on paper. I enjoy not writing at a screen every now and then, but it *is* slower.

26. If you had to choose one, what was THE most satisfying writing moment of your year?

I don't know, because my writing has been so unevenly balanced (very slow but steady progress for most of the year and A LOT of writing in September/October). I suppose finishing the Whumptobers again? Or perhaps when I realised that the longfic was going to be longer than BDaS without it feeling forced.

27. Did you do anything special to celebrate finishing a fic?

No. Once the longfic is done, maybe I will.

28. How did you recharge between fics?

Recharge? What's that? Or rather: between fics? What's that? Hahah.

I know what I would have *liked* to do, which is read a fanfic once in a while, but there's not much new out there to my taste these days. I guess watching other shows counts. I have resorted to rewatching B7 as final measure.

29. If this were an awards show, who would you thank?

The numerous people who kudosed, the few people who commented, @oxideblack for the incredible art and for the appreciation of my fics from their circle of fans, @quordleona03 for the inspiration, and @comarum and @foreignobjecticus who know why.

What’s something that you want to write in 2024?

Ah, it would be nice to finish the longfic this coming year. But I'm not making any plans. With how I feel about the sharing & posting, I'm counting it as a win if I don't lose my motivation entirely.

[finniestoncrane]

Hi! Hope you don't mind but may I request a #9? (Also, congrats on the 1k milestone!)

I'm Filipino but was raised in America for majority of my life. I enjoy reading/writing fiction since it allows me to escape reality, even for a slightest moment. Same why I enjoy drawing as well, as it let's be get lost in the world of possibilities and imagination.

For the most part, when I'm on my own, I'm rather withdrawn and silent. More of a listener than a speaker since I get nervous/anxious interacting with others, not to mention, it was how I was raised. When I'm with others I know and trust, I can be loud, chaotic, relaxed, feeling no need to hide, and be able to speak of my thoughts, problems, and worries with more ease. Though, I'd still need to recharge from too many social interactions at times.

I tend to hyperfixiate on stuff, jumping from one focus to another. It can get hectic, to the point where I might neglect taking care of myself with how invested I'm in it. Sometimes, it might last from a mere week to almost a year or two (longest was 4 years but it was surprisingly not chaotic like the others I've had cause it was mainly me just reading about... 4,000+ works worth of fanfics? At least, that's just a close estimation. Lost count after that).

I try to think logically but sometimes, my emotions might get in the way. Doesn't help when I tend to bottle up the more negative ones.

(Unsure if this is enough info bout myself. Hope this be enough, though!)

🎀 No.9: Ever Fallen In Love With Someone 🎀

tell me a little bit about yourself and i'll give you a rogue pairing a/n: this was plenty to let me know who i was giving you!! the goodest boy 💚 1k milestone info! 🔞minors dni🔞 • kofi • tag: finnie1k

so first of all, the escape from reality thing hit me as something bane does, although his methods are a bit more destructive and involve copious amounts of venom, but i think he needs someone to show him better methods. creativity would be such a good outlet for him, and someone to teach him how to be creative would be good, and i don't know, from the way you speak (type) it feels like you would be very patient and giving when it came to helping someone learn a new skill

he's quiet too, i imagine. spending developemental years in a prison with no friends your own age would make you withdrawn, and a bit unlikely to strike up conversations with just anyone. but he's a big guy, so he has to put on a facade of bravery even when he can't be truly tough, but like you he would need time to power up his social battery before going at it again

the only problem is that he's a listener too, but i feel like it would be so much more beneficial to you both to sit in comfortable silence and just enjoy each other's company

he's got an addictive personality, so hyperfixations are something he could understand. but he's not lost as easily, and he's deeply soft and sensitive so it would become his favourite thing to take care of you while your brain is busy doing other stuff. and if he has to drag you away from ao3 with his bare hands he will, and he's strong, so you know he'll succeed

he's not stupid, he tries to be logical too. but his emotions, specifically his temper, get the better of him. but maybe you two could open up to each other, share in the negatives and try and focus more on the positives

i doubt he's ever really expressed the pain of his childhood, and someone who can understand bottling things up would feel like a safe person to finally open up to

[strawberrylollipop26-blog-blog]

The Untamed/Actors

Okay. I finally watched The Untamed and I really cannot stop watching the series.

A few weeks ago, I was bored enough to watch the show. First, let me say that it wasn't because I harbored any negative thoughts. See, I've heard of the show for awhile now. However, my version of remembering is someone telling me one of the mains dies. Well, I'm not a fan of sad endings so I refused to watch the series for the longest time. It's been sitting in my Netflix cue for awhile. Possibly a month before, I'd watched Word of Honor and before that Alchemy of Souls which meant I was pretty desperate for something new in the fantasy world (and besides I love a man with long hair). Ha.

Anyway, I somehow came across someone advertising the story on TikTok so I found the book and couldn't put it down. Took me a few days to read through (mostly because I have a person in my life who demands attention). No excuses left except to watch the series.

I was a bit sidetracked at first. I mean, there are some things that are the same and others completely different. I'm old enough to know the reason why they didn't include the actual couple coupling. I wasn't even upset about that and even though I was thrown off by the scenes of WWX with Qing. I understood where they were coming from too. I didn't understand why they changed the other elements of the story: the yin iron pieces, WWX genius, "the sword (they removed the body parts and I was really looking forward to a headless man chasing the junior disciples around). Sadly this meant removing a lot of the funny, jaw dropping parts too.

Either way, although some aspects took longer, I really liked this series. I'm really bummed it took me years to watch it. I feel like I missed all the hype, but then again I think Covid snuck up on this show too and they had to stop promotions afterward. I'm glad that of the research I've done the show did so well.

The relationship between LZ and WY in the book and show makes me want to scream. Honestly, both can be appreciated in different ways. Watching the show, again I wasn't disappointed with the character representation or their relationship.

A plus was I never gave JC a second thought while reading the book and even started to dislike him. The JC on the show gave me all the feels.

The Actors

I found out the main leads for WWX and LZ can actually sing. They're so good. The past week or so they did a show and I was able to hear them. I went down the rabbit hole after that. I didn't even know they sung the theme to The Untamed. I should've probably looked it up, but at the time I was too obsessed with the beautiful flute(?) playing to pay much attention to the singing.

Now, I'm in the process of discovering if I'm going to be a new fan.

Sidenote and complete digression. BTS it hasn't even been a full year and I'm already falling in love with new people. My heart was supposed to belong to them only. End of sidenote.

I've found other shows with the actors in them to try and discover if I actually like them or it's the hair and the story. I thought I liked actors before and then I just had a hard time being interested when I see them without hair. Sadly, I started watchin Xiao Zhan's new show and he unfortunately has hair so I'm still in love. Although, I found his other show Oath of Love and I'm going to check that out, but I think I should wait. I don't know if I should watch two shows at the same time with the same person. How will I ever know it's true?

His new show "The Longest Promise" is interesting, but I'm not sure how to feel about it right now. I'm taking my time so I'm only on episode five. Important note about me is I always choose streaming because I hate waiting for shows to come on. I know these are supposed to come out daily, but still. Normally, I'm the type of person to wait until everything's out to watch it.

I even found Legend of Fei with Wang Yibo, and he also has hair. I know he has another movie called Hidden Blade (I think), but I was unable to find that one.

Well, I will be digesting their other shows to see if I want to jump into new fandoms. Who am I kidding? I'm already in the shallow end.

[pbandjesse]

Today is the best that I felt in a week and a half. I still have a cough but most of my exhaustion seems to have passed. And that is nice. On this eve before my birthday.

I slept okay last night but it was rough waking up. James had asked me last night if I was going to wake up at 7:00 and go to work with them or sleep in the extra hour. And I woke up in the middle of a dream when my alarm went off at 7:00 and was just like nope. I need that extra hour. And went back to sleep.

When I got up for real I got washed and dressed and made the bed. And checked on sweetp. He still seems to be doing good though I think he's very fat right now. I'm worried that he's swollen but I pressed all over him and he doesn't seem like it's bothering him at all. So I continue to hope that he is okay.

I left here and went and got breakfast. There was a lot of traffic on the way in but I was still on time so it was fine.

And the museum was great today. I was very excited to get to tell everyone about my excellent interview yesterday. And we have a new person who is a older woman. Younger than our old guys. But an established adult. And she's great. She would go with John on tour and then would be with me for the cannery.

And we spent some time talking this morning. And it was a really good way to start the day. Talking to her and John and just poking around. Having a good time.

Our school group walked to the museum, which always surprises me. But when they got there I brought them all inside and we got them all split up. And it was great.

I did not notice that they had gotten there early though. So once we were split up I just took my group and went to do my tour. And right after I introduced myself Jessica comes over and she was like you have 15 extra minutes. Oops. I didn't even think about it. I was just go go. So I gave the longest cannery intro I've ever done. Honestly maybe a little too long but it was okay. The kids were really excited. One of them had been to the museum a bunch and already knew a lot of it so he was able to also make them excited cuz he was excited to share. And I have them all do things like carrying the cans and really got into stuff that I don't always get to get really deep into. It was great.

And the rest of the tour was really excellent We did the machine shop they want to see everything. We even had a couple minutes in the middle to check out the car. Which I think helped a lot because we have been standing still for so long.

And once the tour was over I felt really good about everything and I took them to lunch and went to sit down and have a break myself.

I had my sandwich and just kind of played on my phone. I didn't bring any of my sewing stuff to finish the backs of my embroidery because I wasn't entirely sure how I was going to approach it. But that's fine.

The cannery went great. The new woman's name is Rosia. She's very nice. And I spent the intro of the cannery running her through the whole program and everything that was going to happen. And I kept telling her I know this is a lot that I'm throwing at you but you will get it and please don't quit. And she thought that was very funny. And the cannery was really good. The kids were super engaged and they were a lot of fun. Was having a little trouble with my printing presses but the green one is working a lot better than it was. The black one was embossing the type but not putting ink down and I don't even understand how that's possible. But it's fine.

After the cannery I did some oysters upstairs. Showed Rosia how to clean them and how we set them up. I made some cans as well. We have a new can form because the new lids are slightly smaller. But they fit so much better in the conveyor belt thing we have for sending them downstairs. So hopefully we don't have them get stuck all the time anymore.

I got to show off some of my wedding photos to Rosia as well and she was making a big fuss in that fell really nice. I feel like I haven't shown people our wedding stuff in a bit and it's nice to be able to show them off to a new person.

I sat downstairs with James for a few minutes and talked to Jessica. And we talked about the three new people she's definitely hiring in the two she's probably hiring. And she told me to not feel bad about taking other jobs and other hours because she's not going to be as strapped for people anymore. And that made me feel a lot better. Jake had gotten back to me this afternoon that he was going to send my interest to the groups that I had told him I was interested in working with. And we'll see what happens.

I didn't realize it was going to rain today. But it was raining really bad. I was having some issues with my sinuses when I was sitting down and I found that taking a walk for a minute helps a lot. So I took a little walk around the museum and stopped to tell Mike what I was doing and he said that if I wasn't too busy that I could look for any water on the ground. Because our roof tends to leak. And I did find a spot in the garment loft that is possibly bowing down. So I went to find Phil to look at it and we ended up talking for like 15 minutes about taxes and all that kind of adult stuff. He's really fun guy.

And then I talked to James and decided that I would come back for them since I didn't want them to have to bike in the rain. And I would go spend some time walking around the thrift store because I had a coupon.

I drove out to value village and I had a great time looking at all the purses. I didn't buy a purse because I do not need a purse. But I really loved that I was able to find four very bad fake coach bags. And one real one. I considered buying the real one because the leather felt really good but I don't need another coach bag. And I didn't really like the buckles that were on the strap so I decided that I would be responsible and not buy it.

I mostly have fun looking at the weird stuff and picking things up and poking around for an hour. And then I looked at the dresses and I found two that I really liked. One that's like Grecian and fancy and one that's a sweatshirt material t-shirt dress. And I feel very good about my two purchases and I spent less than $20 because I had a coupon and everything was good.

When I left it was still drizzling but I headed back to get James. I waited in the car for a little while until they were done and then we drove home.

When we got back here James made hot dogs for us and I would go and work in my studio fixing some dresses that have been on my to do pile. Some buttons need to be reinforced in a seam that had been torn. And once I did that I had some spaghetti. And James had to get on their podcast because they're going to have a special guest that they were really excited about. And I jumped in to starting to line the backs of my embroideries.

It took a really long time. Originally I thought I was going to put down pieces of fabric and having to iron them but then I realized that I could just pin them directly. With the folds on the scenes and I had to cut the fabric a few times to figure out exactly how to fit it all together but in the end I'm really happy with it. Took me two solid hours to hand stitch all of these backs on because I could not figure out how to do it on the sewing machine without the stitching showing through the front. And then once I was done all the backs I decided to line the entirety of the pockets because I thought that the weight would work better. And so I did make the pockets on the sewing machine and then hand stitch them on to the jacket. I started at around 5:30 and I finished around 7:30. It was a lot of fun honestly. I don't hand sew as much as I used to. Not counting embroidery. So it was a lot of fun too have this project and now it's completed. I feel really happy about that.

Once I finish that I show James and they finished their podcast pretty soon after that. And then they had another call for their little book club which I think is so cute. And I have been in bed with sweetp since then. I think now though I'm going to get up and go take a shower. I'm going to wash my hair so that I have clean hair for my birthday. Which is tomorrow. I can't believe I'm going to be 32. I have been saying I am 32 for like 3 months though so it doesn't feel as big but I have completed 32 years of life and that is pretty cool. We're about to start 33!

I hope you all have a great night tonight. Sleep great. I will see you tomorrow!

[sebdoeswords]

WIP Wrap-Up Week: A Summary

So I know this post is two days late, but whatever.

I only actually did work for four days out of seven last week, but I still managed to get quite a bit done.

On Sunday the 5th, so before the week actually started, I edited the last Switchcraft fic I ever wrote. It's been sitting in my drafts for months and months, which was not helped by an entitled ao3 comment demanding i finally post it. But I've edited it now and it's ready to post. Which will probably happen once "The Knife in His Coffin" finishes posting so I have the Sunday time slot open.

Then during the week I worked on two similar Witcher oneshots involving Ciri and Anais, one of them being Geralt/Roche focussed, and the other focussed on Ciri and Anais, as well as Ciri and Geralt's relationships.

After that I started work on a multi-chapter fic about Roche, Ves and the Blue Stripes, chronicling their growth as a unit from start to unfortunate finish. This fic is structured in a vignette style, meaning each chapter is contained within itself and could technically be read as a oneshot.

Lastly, I picked apart a Geralt/Regis case/monster of the week type fic that was meant to be very long, following them in their travels across Velen and later Skellige. I had about 10k of it written before i stopped to focus on other fics, and by now i know I will never actually have the passion, energy or time to finish the whole thing. Case fics are extremely exhausting for me to write. In light of this I decided to split those four chapters up into three oneshots, which is possible only due to the case fic format, which allows me to wrap them up after each contract. There are two contracts in this and one pretty short fluff segment, all of which will be their own oneshots. In all of this I am only cutting out about 600 words, which I will be putting up on my ko-fi to preserve.

Of these three oneshots I have edited two, with the longest (about 5.5k if you shave off those 600 words I mentioned) having not yet been touched.

All in all, this leaves me with five finished and ready oneshots, one that won't require that much work, and one longer fic that's come along pretty nicely. I'm pretty happy with this, even though I could've done a lot more. I'm glad I was able to clean up some unfinished projects, and I think I'll do this again in the future. But maybe I'll keep it to a weekend or five days instead of a whole week.

[gostaks]

Final Talks Machina Q&A summary

This was my best attempt to summarize everything live so please forgive any abbreviations, spelling errors, etc. Also warning this is long

Underdark

Q: why did clarota turn on the party?

A: he wanted to be connected to the elder brain again

Q: Why was Percy flashing his name around knowing that the briarwoods were out there?

A: Tal: percy spent most of the game in an intense nervous breakdown and was flashing around his name in an attempt to bring some attention

Q: what did pike do during her time off sailing?

A:She wanted to become stronger and spent a lot of time doing "simple boat work"

Q: why was percy crafting bullets while vex never crafted arrows?

A: the party bought about 1,000 arrows before the stream and they were so cheap that Matt just stopped worrying about it

Q: What moment made Vax start having feeling for Kiki?

A: Liam's not entirely sure but he thinks it might have been the whisper. He knew Vax had the crush for a while and wasn't thinking about leaving any hints and was planning to wait longer, but the Briarwoods forced it out

Q: What about Grog's Mother?

A: Grog never really had a family except his dad Stonejaw and the herd so he never really figured out who his mother was

Q: Who took out the contract on the Rakshasa?

A: One of the members of the Arcana Pansophicle (sp?) (Allura and Drake are members) who was working on a portal to the 9 hells and needed demon parts and didn't know or care about the cycle of vengeance

Q: Did Matt plan to have Kima and Allura to hook up from the beginning?

A: that was part of their originally planned past history and the reunion at the beginning of the stream sparked their rekindling their relationship

Q: Is there a story behind Keyleth's antlers?

A: She had a circled that was one of the last things she'd brought with her from the Ashari/her mother and Kit Buss drew her with antlers (she also added a lot of little things like Vex's feathers)

Q: What would have happened if they had made a better relationship with the Thunderbrands?

A: They would have had a whole story with a lost relative and might have sent a spellcaster along with VM into the Underdark

Q: How did a sphinx end up beneath Vasselheim?

A: There are lots of followers of Ioun and they're big on disseminating knowledge so when Ioun was wounded they (including Osisa) went into hiding and now end up as whistleblowers because if you're public about following Ioun it's dangerous. Osisa is the heart of a communication network centering around the slayer's take and vasselheim

Q: Where was the second Horn of Orcus?

A: Matt's not telling because it might end up in the next campaign along with a bunch of artifacts and vestiges

Briarwoods

Q: what was Assum's plan to investigate the Briarwoods?

A: He wanted to figure out if they had the political power to actually be in charge of the bridge and either prove they were trustworthy or catch them in a lie

Q: When travis broke the pencil how close was he to murdering liam? grog to vax?

A: Travis says mechanical pencils bend really well to anger and Grog went on a long prank streak. Liam didn't realize how angry Travis was about the beard-shaving incident

Q: Who was the woman who Percy saw in his nat 20 on the sun tree?

A: She was a hunter and she could have given them info about current political situation or ratted them out to the briarwoods

Q: What did Liam think when the briarwoods killed vax?

A: he thought he was out and it was time to vomit out his monologue of thoughts before he left the game

Q: What tipped Sam off that Percy's gun needed to be destroyed

A: He did crazy shit while using it and he was doing weird marking-off stuff. Scanlan wasn't very wise so it took a long time. Also Tal was really shocked and dismayed when Scanlan destroyed the gun. The gun was priceless and impossible to recreate. Matt: the only way to free percy was to destroy the gun or kill orthax

Q: Is Matt keeping track of stuff that happens to VM to tie into the next campaign?

A: Matt doesn't want to tie in the campaigns too much but VM's choices will effect the next campaign

Q: How much of sylas and delilah's arc was Tal's notes and how much was Matt?

A: Tal's notes only included what Percy knew (almost nothing) and Matt added the rest. Delilah was a lesser mage at some academy in Dwindal (sp?) and Sylas got sick so she went on a quest to find a cure and by the time she did he was dead. She got really angry and Vecna started talking to her in her dreams and slowly led her to one of his laboratories and found the rites of vampirism for a price. Necromancy is illegal in Dwindal so they were chased out, met Ripley near Taldorei and started working on Whitestone

Q: Did vex have feelings for Percy during this arc?

A: Darling take the mask off was definitely a thing + vex finds edginess attractive. Percy didn't know the voice in his head was real, he was in the middle of a nervous breakdown and didn't connect that orthax was real until the briarwood arc. Orthax didn't manifest until the moment of possible vengeance.

Q: Would kiki have left if VM had continued to kill without morals?

A: Yes, Keyleth would have left to continue her aramente and Marisha would have rolled a new character

Q: What would have happened if they'd left Ripley in the cell?

A: Ripley would have tried to escape or once they'd defeated the Briarwoods she would have tried to manipulate VM into letting her out so she could abscond with VM's stuff

Q: What happened to the bodies of the de rolos?

A: The briarwoods needed to instill fear to continue their rule, they murdered the family and left them in public, hanging from the sun tree

Q: Is pike's astral projection a sign that she's special to Sarenrae?

A: Ashley would like to think so but mostly it's because she lives across the country and she's thankful that Matt found a way for her to participate. Also she did help bring sarenrae back to vasselheim so she is special

Q: What would have happened if delilah's ritual succeeded?

A: She did. She didn't expect the siphon and thought she failed but they succeeded entirely. VM might have discovered that it was successful if they'd really dug in but when she resurrected Vecna started to whisper and prepare her for the next siphon

Q: What did Travis expect from the sword when he read the card?

A: Travis didn't know what a sentient weapon was and Grog really enjoyed having a new friend who talked to him and helped him stab things (it worked out great)

Q: How did Matt intend for VM to escape the acid chamber?

A: They could have focused on the residuum wall or the acid spouts or waited until the briarwoods left and fiddled with the buttons

Q: What would Scanlan have done differently if he had known about his daughter before Kaylie confronted him?

A: Not have tried to get with her. He would have run away and tried to avoid her

Q: Who was the final barrel on the list meant for?

A: Tal thinks it's disappointing, it was his way of saying that the list wasn't the end and that the list would be an unending cycle of awful. He was planning to start a new six-person list to kill. Percy knew what he was doing when he built the gun, he expected everything to go horribly wrong and be responsible for thousands of deaths in his lifetime

Q: How did vex get vax's snake belt back?

A: Vex flirted with the guards, there was a lot of winking involved

Q: If he had failed the saving throw would Percy have been forced to kill cass? would she appear on the gun?

A: Yes, it was designed to be a crux moment that showed Percy what what he'd done

Q: What would have happened to Percy if he had killed everyone on the list?

A: Six more names would have appeared (Tal: thank you). Percy wouldn't have blinked

Q: Is this arc where Kiki began to realize she could be a leader?

A: No, she was still super self-loathing and dealing with a lot of insecurity. Keyleth didn't fully believe it until she got the mantle. One of the bigger turning points was the kracken fight.

Marisha Q: If she hadn't rolled a nat 20 what would have happened to Kiki when she stuck her hand in the siphon?

A: Keyleth would have spagettified, took a shitload of damage, and ended up in the shadowfell on the outskirts of thar amphala. It would have changed the game quite a bit. If Keyleth had died they would probably have fought her when they finally got to thar amphala

Chroma Conclave

Q: Did matt plan who would die when the conclave attacked or just roll dice?

A: He planned the soverign would die to transition to the council and shock the players. He also planned out which council members would have been on the front lines

Q: Would Vax have left if the conclave hadn't attacked?

A: He wouldn't have left without Vex but Liam's not sure whether he would have left. Vex would have fought but left with him if he convinced her

Q: Did the conclave attack because VM messed with the orbs or would they have still attacked?

A: they would have attacked anyway but because they'd messed with the orbs they could recognize VM's faces and put them on Raishan's shitlist

Liam Q: Was Matt planning the conclave during the home game?

A: Yes, and playing once every six weeks it would have happened about now

Q: What was Percy's plan to take out grog in the workshop over the skull?

A: Percy can impose disadvantage on every roll and knows what's in the workshop so he could have used stuff in bottles, set him on fire, and stayed out of the way.

Q: How close was Gilmore to dying before VM found him in his shop?

A: Very close, he wanted them to choose between the treasure that had been taken by looters and Gilmore and if they had gone for the treasure he would have been dead and they would have known that it was their fault he'd died. They were really scared because they hadn't dealt with in-game death before.

Q: What did Vex find under Gilmore's bed?

A: A bunch of love letters between him and his first boyfriend (aww). Matt didn't say the name but it would have been a Markesian (sp?) boy

Q: What could have happened if they'd fucked up Kash's ressurection of Vesh?

A: Vesh is powerful and dangerous. It wouldn't have been too dangerous but it might have caused her to meddle with VM. The deal with the RQ circumvented a lot of Vesh's possible power and the RQ would have overriden Vesh's powers. Vesh isn't really a god

Q: How did Pike feel that getting her armor (the plate of the dawnmartyr) made the difference between Daxio being destroyed or not?

A: Very happy about it. The armor was huge and getting the vestige was a huge part of Pike feeling important in battle and going into the middle knowing she'd be fine.

Q: How did Kevdak get the dragonstone knuckles? What did he want to do besides be a dragon's lackey?

A: He beat the shit out of the previous owner. Kevdak wasn't the leader but the knuckles helped him become the herd leader. He mostly wanted to expand the herd and just took advantage when the dragons disrupted whitestone. He planned to bend Umbrasyl to his will and become some sort of dragon king but Matt doesn't know if it'll ever work out

Q: What was in Senekir's (sp?) box?

A: His wife's ashes, he was being completely honest. Ashley still doesn't believe it

Q: Was Liam intending to multiclass into paladin before the RQ's tomb?

A: Yes, he was forming a relationship with Pike and was pushing towards following Sarenrae. Liam didn't want the armor at first but it was a really heavy thing for him for a while. Now he wouldn't change anything

Liam Q: Was fate-touched always going to be a thing?

A: Matt decided on the fate-touched thing because he knew that Liam was going through a rough time and wanted to give him some light but it made sense for the RQ to latch onto him in the moment

Q: Did travis go into the kevdak fight thinking he could win head-on or did he plan for VM to come in?

A: He didn't know what would go down and it felt good for Grog to face him head-on. If Grog had won solo it would have ended up into some sort of tense diplomatic situation with the herd

Q: When did Laura find out she was assigned a change in alignment and did it change the way she played Vex?

A: Laura doesn't think she deserves it and was planning to give Gern a bunch of dragon scales but he walked away too fast. People wonder why Percy's alignment didn't change, but according to Matt people can have fucked up thoughts it's whether you act on it that matters (thx matt). Matt had been considering the alignment change for a while for a while and the broom sold it

Q: What was in the letter that scanlan gave to pike?

A: Scanlan was super in love with Pike but now he wants Pike to take care of Kaylie if he dies (someone will post the clip on tumblr it's so good I can't transcribe fast enough)

Q: Which vestiges did Matt plan to go to which player?

A: Matt was planning for mythcarver, the knuckles, and the spire to go to who they went to but the other were planned to be mixed around. He didn't know who would take the deathwalker's ward and left the rest for people to take those choices.

Q: What did the party have to say to convince Percy to come back from the dead?

A: Tal had some plans for things he'd ignore like religion, but he was looking for reasons to come back. When Vex dropped the bomb that really convinced him

Q: What was Raishan doing with thordak's corpse?

A: A type of speak with dead that tortures and extracts info from a soul and she wanted the secret to her getting rid of the disease. She sealed VM off, finished the ritual, and went to Opesh's lair. The force wall was just to keep VM off for a bit

Q: what was up with the eggs?

A: Thordak was mutating and becoming something else (side convo: the soul curse was real and she knew that he was telling the truth). The eggs were unexpected. When they soul anchored thordak in the elemental plane he "life finds a way"d some primal elemental dragon eggs. As far as VM knows they got rid of all of the eggs

264 DM facepalms

Break, Guests come on

on screen we have Garthok (jason charles Miller), Tova (Noelle Stevenson), Zahra (ME Mcglynn), Kash (Will not-wheaton), and Sprigg (Darrin Depaul)

Q: What's the big difference between playing on CR and other DnD?

Marry/Will: this was the first game both played and they liked being thrown down into the deep end

Darrin: It's pretty cool + it was cool to play sprigg again

Tova: People actually care about your character

Darrin: When you play at home you don't get fanart

Mary: We're part of a community of positivity, creativity, building

Will: it's like going to a convention and seeing that other people share your interests

Darrin: it's like going home

Jason: it's the aftermath that makes the difference, people care about the characters

Q: Mary/Will what was it like being part of the early episodes vs coming on later?

Mary: the first time was terrifying because I'd never played before, goal was 'don't kill the team'. It felt safe and at home

Will: philosophy was smile, nod, and shift paper around like you know everything. Improv is easy but the rules are confusing

Will and Mary would meet up and work together as players and characters

Darrin: first time on set was when Kash kissed Keyleth

Will: that was when he realized how big the fandom was

Q: What was it like for Jason to play a character who wasn't on the same side as the players?

Jason: I wasn't on the same side but there was an uneasy truce which made things easier

Q: What surprised you the most?

Jason: sitting next to liam and he had the chat open and the chat went wild

Q: What was it like for Noelle to jump into such an intense episode?

Noelle: would have liked to play a shopkeep/shopper but was playing Tova as a burner character. She was trying not to step on too many toes but it was fun to be in the intense scene + Tova canonically survived

yeah he wasn't that memorable

Q: What's more terrifying, coming in at the beginning or waiting?

everyone: waiting

Will: it's the difference between starting at the beginning of the river vs jumping into the rapids. There are times where you know it's okay if you die but it's scary to think you might cause VM's deaths

Mary: Zahra and Kash considered going out in a blaze of glory but bad rolls got them killed

Q: Sprigg's story was really about redemption, what's it like to play a character who lost everything and found Ioun?

Darrin: loves that he got redemption, he planned to be less good but the goodness of VM brought out the goodness in him. "I love playing funny characters who are also tragic"

Noelle wore her nice flannel for her appearance

Q: What's something from your experience on critical role that you'll definitely take with you?

Mary: It's amazing that they're roleplaying but there are amazingly emotional moments like Vex's resurrection and it's great to completely invest yourself in creating a story.

Darrin: This is as special for the players as for the fans

Jason: He was playing a concert and someone yelled "we love you Garthok"

Will: DnD transformed his life and getting to know the cast and the relationships are special

Darrin: Working with Matt was and the moment with Marisha

Tova: the community and the way that people connect through dnd, "it's not just about you and your character, it's contributing to this much wider thing"

Darrin sings a song

Tary

Q: if Scanlan had been revivified during the raishan fight rather than the ritual would he still have left?

A: yes, it was the dying that made him leave. There was a long buildup starting with kaylie that went on for a long time but then he died twice and everything just sorta happened

Q: Could VM have killed the kraken and what would have happened?

A: The lodestones would have unsealed the elemental plane and eventually sunk Vesra. They would have had to find a new kraken to avoid destroying the ecosystem

Q: What would Pike have said if she was there for scanlan's departure?

A: Ashley got into some of it when they met back up with Scanlan. Pike and Grog were really hurt and Ashley as a player missed Scanlan. She doesn't know what would have happened but she thinks she might not have stopped him. Sam: she would have stopped me. Sam's original plan was to go on alone but then Vex suggested hanging with his daughter

Q: what would have happened if Keyleth had failed her aramente?

A: there were no second chances, she would have gotten a place on the council but someone else would have been chosen to take on the aramente. Keyleth could have tapped out at any time

Q: Did exposure to Tary's wealth mellow out her greed?

A: No, getting her own money mellowed her out

Q: What was the plan for Hotis (the rakshasa) if VM hadn't ended him?

A: He would have tried to get Vax, failed because Vax was dead, and turned towards Pike. He would have gone after people Pike cared about

Liam Q: Did Tova live?

A: yes, only because of the ring of invisibility

Q: When was scanlan meant to come back?

A: Sam only expected Tary to last for a couple episodes but everyone fell in love with him so he stuck around. There was no timeline for when scanlan would come back but he spent a long time getting revenge on the dudes from Ank'harel (sp?).

Q: Could VM have used the soul stones from Dis?

A: A quick high or possibly an initiative boost, but not much else. A tiefling might get a slightly stronger effect

Q: there was a moment where it sounded like Percy might have killed scanlan, what would have happened if Vex hadn't intervened?

A: sneak in, cripple him, took all his stuff

Q: Of all the woman that Grog flirted with, was there one who got away?

A: No

Cast Q: What about the nymph

A: no, it was a bit suggestive but grog didn't know what was going on and it was just her bequeathing the heart and Matt trying to make Travis uncomfortable

Q: Were there any small things the group did that weren't revealed?

A: Percy and Vex broke up and got back together, it was quiet and personal. They got married in front of the Sun Tree with Trinket

Q: What were the consequences for being caught at the Theater?

A: If you're caught they find you, take your soul, and make you a member of the Theater. Everyone there was either caught or wandered in

Q: For Percy and Vex who proposed? How? Who knew?

A: Percy and Vex were out on a walk and talking about marriage. They didn't want to be like Vax and Kiki so they just went for it. It was more of a life is short thing. One asked the other as a joke and then it just happened. Maybe Zahra officiated. Tary knew first because he lived with them. Vax was super heartbroken that he wasn't there

Q: Was scanlan close enough to hear Pike with the earring when she talked to him?

A: The range is 1,000 feet so no, but he prayed to Sarenrae quite a bit

Q: How many people found Scanlan during the break but got hit with modify memory?

A: None. Pike and Grog really tried but didn't know where to go or what to look for and they expected Scanlan to still be in Taldorei but he was in Marquet

Tal Q: Did Scanlan ever shoot the gun?

A: Once, during the end episode. He never had cause to shoot the gun. He comissioned a bunch of paintings holding it

Q: If Vax had found out about the wedding before Vecna how would he have reacted, especially after she specifically told him not to marry in secret?

A: He would have asked why. It was a bad time for it to come out but the marriage did come out in the end. It would have been different if Vex hadn't told Vax not to get married.

Q: Did Keyleth ever consider giving the staff back?

A: She considered it but thought it would be more useful with her than in a museum.

Q: Would Ashley have liked to play an evil!Pike if the stories were true?

A: Yeah, it would have been amazing. Ashley didn't know that anything was going to happen but she thinks it would have been fun to play an evil!Pike. The cast was scooby-doo'd

Q: If Sam hadn't convinced Lord Darrington to back down how might that have gone?

A: That would have been the end of the family unit. Tary would have been estranged and his mom would have had to change.  It would have been an opportunity for him to stay with VM longer

Laura Q: Did Matt have plans for the Hag to cash the favor from Vax?

A: Yes, but everything got complicated fast. He figured that the Raven Queen would scare her off a bit

Q: How long did it take for Grog to get angry at Scanlan for leaving? Would he have been mad if Lionel hadn't been a barbarian?

A: He wasn't angy until Scanlan got back. Grog got really jealous and was basically ready to murder him.

Vecna

Q: How many gods could VM have talked to? How many trammels could they have gotten?

A: They went to the gods they thought they could find and they didn't have time. If they had gone to a 4th god vasselheim would have been destroyed + he would have gotten his miracle, 5 would have put Vecna in Taldorei

Q: Why did Scanlan choose to go to Ank'harel? Why did he stay longer than just revenge?

A: It took a long time for him to get revenge on the traveling assholes, and then he got a taste for the crime power. Power tastes like pleather

Q: Was there a moment when Pike's feelings for scanlan began changing?

A: A lot started in the letter. Even in the home games Pike and Scanlan would flirt a bit but she didn't take it very seriously and didn't think he was serious. When he left she realized how much she cared and missed him and when he came back he seemed more mature. It was a slow climb after the letter

Q: Where did Vecna keep his phylactery?

A: Only Matt knows and he's not telling

Q: Did Vex take the name De Rolo after her marriage?

A: Yep

Q: When the knuckles vibrating what were they trying to tell Grog?

A: They were close to where they were built plus the gauntlets could have done extra damage to the titan to slow it down from the inside at the cost of notifying Thar Amphala that they were there

Q: Was Percy troubled by the escape of Sylas?

A: No, he'd transferred a lot of his angst to other people by then and he felt certain that if sylas came back he could take care of it. It was never really about Sylas

Q: Who was the death knight?

A: He was a nameless servant who had been guarding one of Vecna's wildmount laboratories. He was rewarded by becoming a death knight

Q: Is there anyone that Vax wishes he'd had time to say goodbye to before the RQ took him?

A: If he had a week he would have visited his father, Corrin, Gilmore, and Velora. That was his family

Q: Was Keyleth ready to lead her people by the end of the campaign?

A: Yeah, it would have been a learning process but she was ready to move on to the next chapter in her life

Q: Did you know that Sam planned to save Vax with his level 9 spell?

A: He knew that Sam might and gave him some info. When he used that level 9 Matt realized the full ramifications of the decision

Q: Scanlan can do basically everything except bring back Vax, how does he deal with that?

A: He can't reconcile it. He feels like it was an opportunity lost and he failed but he slowly realizes that it's okay to fail and he doesn't have to succeed in everything it's enough to make a difference. He tries to be there for Pike and his kids and he sometimes uses wish to try to get a message to Vax. Vax would never have seen Scanlan's counterspell as a failure.

Q: What was on the other side of the Tower of Entropis?

A: It had a bunch of ancient desicrated holy objects that they had used to learn how to make the seed.

Q: What was Tal originally intending for Percy's ending?

A: He was going to sell his soul and save Vax. He believed that it didn't matter where he went after he died under the assumption that he'd be going something awful anyway. Once doubt crept in everything sort of collapsed. Vax's assumption was that the only way he'd survive is if the RQ let him

Q: Why did Grog seek an education?

A: He just wanted to get smarter

Q: How did Syldor react to Vax's death?

A: Grief. He regrets the way he treated Vex and Vax and spent a lot of his life trying to make up for those mistakes. He's very proud of what the twins do and he's learned a lot about the xenophobia of Syngorn and is trying to change that culture

Q: Did Vex's relationship with her father change after she saved Velora's life?

A: Yes, later in life they made peace with each other. Part of it was having her own kids with Percy and realizing what family means and it became more important to reconnect

Q: What happened to Vax after his death?

A: Matt wants to leave it up to interpretation but he thinks that Vax was able to reconnect with his mother but also spent some time with the RQ doing her work

Q: Were there other ways to stop the titan?

A: Only destroying it from the inside or killing vecna

Q: Would Keyleth ever cast speak with animals on the raven who visits her?

A: She might eventually have tried but was afraid that it wasn't what she thought so not at first

Q: What were the final contents of the bag of holding?

A: silverware (assorted), candles, stones, caltrops, handcuffs, dried poo disk (broken), armor, a big black sapphire, expensive wine, a troll dick, and some mage robes

Q: How does Vax feel about his ending?

A: He wasn't bitter. It was heavy but he felt very full and knew that his sister would be okay

Q: Who was Pike's other love interest?

A: Percy. She recognized that he was fucked up and she spent a lot of time praying for his soul and that confused her. In the end it was always Scanlan but she was a bit taken by the dark side. Percy had no idea

Q: When your characters look back, what memories stand out the most?

Grog: dropping on kevdak out of the necklace

Vax: Saying goodbye

Keyleth: The cherry blossoms in the voice of the tempest ceremony

Scanlan: Cows

Vex: Talking to Trinket for the first time

Vax: Gilmore stabbing him

Vex: Flying

Keyleth: The hanging tree

Percy: Letting go when Ripley shot me and realizing I was in love with Vex

Scanlan: the stories that weren't epic and saving the world, the friendship was what mattered

Keyleth: The canonball competition

Vax: That last fight when Sam did the level 9 counterspell

Matt: Proving the people who say that Bards are a terrible class and Charisma is a dump stat wrong

Ashley: It's so personal and DnD changed everyone's lives

Q: Is Matt excited to continue on?

A: It's strange to feel like the greatest thing that he's acomplished was part of this [Matt starts crying] and he's excited for the next one

When god closes a door, he opens a new campaign January 11

[teenandbeyond]

could i request a part 3 of your yautja x reader series ! its such a good read ive been catching myself going back and rereading it all over again !

Yautja x Fem. Reader Pt.3

Decided to kill two birds with one stone for the last of the three shots.

I wanted to sate your thirst, dark fic readers since y'all been asking for a while (even though I'm not the best with this style, nor is it my usual type).

Edit: Low-key had to rewrite this before it turned into some 50 Shades of Grey shit...I got...invested (which says a lot considering I'm not deep into the Predator fandom.) Then I got sleepy, so I didn't double word check :) Edit 2: If y'all ever want to request the prince again, I can do it outside of the series...probably, it depends.

Want more from me? Masterlist 1 Masterlist 2

Part 1

Part 2

☆*: .｡. .｡.:*☆☆*: .｡. .｡.:*☆

Little Princess (Predator)

Warning(s): Smut content, breeding, jealous Yautja, squirting, size difference, long asf (Might be the longest I've done for Yautja?), fingering, noncon details, possible triggers, exhibition (being watched), whipped Yautja (couldn't help but add a pinch of fluff for the last one)

The prince Ta'yto seems to have taken quite the liking to you, you've become his little Princess to breed...

✨✨✨✨✨

You briskly walked through the halls of the palace, not wanting to be late.

Ta’yto didn’t appreciate when you were late, last time you were punished for it, forced to sit on his lap throughout an entire meeting, how embarrassing.

The thing was, this place was a labyrinth and with the language barrier, you wouldn’t have been able to ask for directions. You had to solely depend on your memory.

Peeking down one way, your gaze flicked over the long walkway, “Here? No there isn’t a candelabra there…”

Which only left the walk way to your left a few feet ahead, you stalked ahead.

Just as you made the turn, you bumped into a solid chest, the firmness making you collapse to the ground, all the jewelry you wore ringing in the hall.

“Owww…” you rub at your forehead, squinting your eyes and craning your head up to see who you bumped into.

It was a Yautja male, not the prince you belonged to, Ta’yto had longer hair and he was wider, this one was slim.

“Sorry—Um…You don’t speak English, right, that’s pointless, [Name],” you muttered to yourself.

You stumble to stand up and straighten yourself due to the slim fit and flowiness of your dress.

A few clicks was all you got in response.

You gave a polite smile, “I should get going—”

He titled your chin up with a finger, seeming to observe you, arm pausing in its movement as he took sight of your blooded symbol.

“Ah…I should get going…”

As you moved to leave he grabbed your arm, easily stopping you, he began to trail his other hand from your chin to your hip.

“Let me go. This isn’t a good idea—”

You were cut off by a growl that felt like it shook the palace.

The predator touching you turned around to kneel to who was in front of him, which meant one thing…

The prince was here to collect you.

His footsteps must have been light before, they were heavy like thunder now.

He stopped in front of him, gesturing for him to stand and when he did stand…

You actually realized how tall Ta’yto was compared to someone other than you, he was at least a whole head taller than the predator in front of him. Having to lean down to be face-to-face—since at the moment his mask-thingy was off (you didn’t know what it was called).

There were a few exchanges of clicks, before Ta’yto decided to toss him away at the wall that connected to the entry of the other hallway.

You had to blink a few times to process that he tossed a fully-grown predator—you assumed anyway—with ease.

Then his head slowly turned to you.

You raised your hands in surrender, “I didn’t—ah! Put me down!”

He had simply tossed you over his shoulder, resting his hand comfortably on your ass as he turned to leave to his quarters like he usually did.

You see, after the fifth time with you, he decided you would officially be his mate. You were his favorite, so you had the privilege of sharing his quarters with him. He--despite kidnapping you and everything-- gave you luxury you didn’t expect, elegant dresses and jewelry from distant planets—learning you regularly needed food and water, made sure you were provided with some, and anything else you could need.

The only things that irked him, was one, despite all these things you still fought—admittedly at times he enjoyed it—it was still no less irking. Then, the fact that you never used the power you had as his top mate to decline the young and impulsive predators who tried to sneak and use you for themselves, knowing that you were taken. He had marked you with his clan mark—damn it, his name for goodness sakes.

Ta’yto found it quite adorable when you muttered angrily in English, thinking he didn’t understand a single word. Sometimes you had a colorful array of names to call him, both in irritation and in pleasure.

“The throne room?” you wondered as you noticed the familiar doors close.

After the short trek up steps, he set you down, only long enough to plop into the sturdy throne and set you on his lap. He sighed, gripping your thigh through the dress.

“I…he didn’t do anything really…” you tried to assure.

At this point, you didn’t necessarily hate him anymore, but you didn’t like him much either.

It was kind of hard to when one minute you’re fighting to the death together only for you to get betrayed and get brutally handled by him.

But he did, he touched what didn’t belong to him.

All he had to say was that ‘She was so tempting. I’m sorry, Prince Ta’yto. I won’t do it again…’

Ta’yto spread his legs, yours following along, before you could even react his rough hand slid under your dress.

“What are you—” your breath hitched as his nails gently grazed against your inner thigh, so close to the warmth between them.

It had been a while since he hand his hand there, after the first time, he’d just preferred to get straight to it.

You whimpered as playful fingers trailed up, his finger moving over the bare, pink, flesh with calculated strokes.

You clenched your thighs to stop it, “Not—Not—”

He simply grunted and spread them open again with his free hand that had been on the armrest.

You bit your bottom lip, trying to contain the thin amount of dignity you still had, you wouldn’t let him win that easily.

Trying to ignore how much more sensitive your body had become each time he had his way with you.

But you couldn’t stop the drawn-out gasp that left your lips when he finally slid in two of his fingers, providing you with a little relief after the immediate tension he created inside you.

But what you hated, was that your body was excited, because you knew two wouldn’t be enough to prepare for him, he’d have to give you more.

You stiffened when the door opened, the advisor or whatever he was had walked in, but after taking in the situation, he gave a few clicks and turned to leave.

But Ta’yto’s voice stopped him, he said something you didn’t understand, which they nodded to before leaving.

You didn’t have time to wonder what that was about because then he was moving again.

Your brows scrunched as you tried to focus, his guard is lowered, you could possibly attack him. He may be stronger than you, but move quick enough, you could immobilize him.

Your eyes flicked over to the sharpened spike on one of the sides of his foot rest. Thinking of all possible scenarios for a few minutes. But you would have to bend and reach for it, that would be too much time.

“I—can you stop for a second…I…I’m too sensitive…” you attempted.

Not that it worked, of course.

Then the door opened again, it was the Predator from before in chains.

You could feel Ta’yto chuckle behind you, before speaking to the Predator in their language.

“You know. The thing about tempting things, they aren’t attainable to scum like you…The reason I brought you here, is to remind you what’s mine and that you can’t have her. You aren’t permitted to speak or leave until I tell you. Think about this the next time you decide to touch what doesn’t belong to you.”

He turned his attention back to you who had turned your head in embarrassment and closed your legs, even though the scum couldn’t see underneath the dress.

He spread your legs again, giving his hand access to move, “This is mine. Only I can touch it like this, you could only ever dream…”

He quickly switched from a tame pace to a rough rhythmic one, making you gasp and let your head fall into his chest.

“Didn’t you touch her here?” he gripped your chin that had been touched before, forcing you to look at the chained Predator, as he added another finger, “Well, I’m reclaiming it.”

This should’ve still been embarrassing to you, but it so, so, erotic, so…so strangely powerful all you could do was tighten around his fingers.

You gripped his arm tight, “Please, it’s too much, not—not yet—hah…”

You found your hips moving to meet his fingers, desperate for the soon coming release.

“And every other place your slimy hands touched her... She doesn’t smell like me as strongly anymore…that needs to change.”

Your nails dug into his bicep, not that he felt it much.

He likes that his research on female humans and what brings pleasure was put to good use with you.

Speaking of…should he try that new thing he learned about yesterday? Well, since he has an audience, he might as well give a show.

In the same motion he tore off your dress, your places were switched, your bare body sitting on the throne while he stood, towering over you, before kneeling down.

Which confused you, considering he was the royal one and you were not.

But you were totally clueless to the fact that this Yautja was so addicted he had no problem doing so at any time.

With another quick move, he gripped your legs and tugged you forward, it was so sudden, you had to grab the armrests to steady yourself.

“What…what are you..?”

His face was way too close to your nether regions, you could feel his breath, which made you twitch each time.

What was he going to—your eyes widened as you felt a wet muscle brush against you.

What was going on? Was he—? Where did he learn this?

You yelped as the few cautious licks of a forked tongue became ravenous, he gripped your thighs hard as his tongue teased you.

“Ohhhh,” you sighed out, biting your lip to keep quiet.

But that’s not what he wanted, so he slid in the hard muscle.

You gripped the armrests for your life, barely able to hold eye contact with him as he devoured you like a starved man. And the mandibles brushing against your skin made it worse.

You tossed your head back, a desperate moan leaping from your throat, the feeling too good, tears bubble up to your waterline, “Please don’t—Not that—Not there—Please!”

But he doesn’t pause, he just gets impossibly more aggressive.

He wants the tears to fall, that’s what always happens before you break. He wants you to break.

He adds his fingers into the equation again, the minute he does, you’re gripping his head like a lifeline.

The closer you get, the louder you get, which he likes. He likes when that composure you try so hard to keep disappears. Shatters before his very eyes. He keeps his eyes on you, wanting to see the moment when it happens.

And it does, but not in the way he was expecting, your chest hiccups as the tears finally fall and you shake your head, almost like you want to refuse the feeling, but you don’t, not really, he knows that.

“No, no, no, I can’t…no…”

And your hips jerk, you’re no longer able to control them and a water-like substance escapes from you. He quickly gets over the surprise and happily excepts it. This is new and you show no signs of being in pain, more than the usual anyway, so he succeeded, right?

Then your crying is of embarrassment, you hadn’t done that before.

But he doesn’t allow you to wallow in it for long.

Your breath is ragged as your legs shake, but you know he never shows mercy on you.

Definitely not today since he’s showing off how beautiful you are and how well you take him, that he’s got something no one but him can have. No one.

The second thing different about today, he rubs a thumb against your thigh, as if saying good job or good girl.

He doesn’t stay there too long, ready to cleanse his mate of the scum that dared touch her completely.

You whine as he finally sheds off his loincloth, you’re way too sensitive to take him now.

And he knows you’re sensitive. He knows you’re sensitive as he lifts you by your shaky legs to place you on his lap again as he sits on his throne. He knows you’re sensitive as he rubs you against his erection as you face away from him. He knows your sensitive as he moves one hand to the hip that was touched.

But he knows you can handle it, his little pet always handles it.

“Ahhm! Fuck!”

He growls as you suck him in, your body molded into the form his wanted. Now your body so greedily accepts him as compared to before. He fits so perfect, like your body conformed to his shape. You really are just for him.

“She fits me perfectly. So, you see—ngh—you could never satisfy her anyway, you peasant.”

You barely have time to settle before he’s pounding away.

“Sense—sensetiv—!”

Haven’t you learned by now that he doesn’t really care?

You’re just his little pet—

Well, Ta’yto supposed that wasn’t true anymore.

You were more than a pet—although you were still a pet, his little pet—

You were more than that…his true mate—no…his princess.

Maybe he should marry you.

Would that be strange? He might be looked at weirdly since it wasn’t a thing for his race.

But if he got to pound into this every day, this hot, tight, warm—

Anyway, you were the best mate he’s had…you were fit for royalty both figuratively and literally you fit him into you like he was meant to fill you whenever.

Speaking of filling, you’d look absolutely ravishing with a little bump, at this point he genuinely wanted it.

He’d have to do his best to be gentle no matter how arousing the sight would be. He wouldn’t be able to not fuck you, so at the very least he’d just be gentle and still be able to feel you around him like a vice as you held his child.

The thought of impregnating you gave him a whole new burst of energy.

His little princess having his little baby.

Maybe more than one, how many babies could a human have without dying?

He wanted that many.

“Too much—Too-too much! Please, I—I can’t” you sobbed turning your head into his side.

Little princess, don’t you know your tears only spur him on? He likes when you cry.

He grips the inside of your knee a little more, ramming into you. Wanting to unsure he fills you with strong seed, strong enough to give him children.

You spasm around him as you release again, the feeling so intense it’s hard to stay conscious as you settle.

But his pace barely slows, despite the tightness, and only speeds up again once you finish.

You beg, “Please…I'm done...I...”

Your head collapses onto his chest as darkness takes over you.

And he doesn’t stop, no, not until he spills every drop into you.

"The thing is princess, I decide when you're done."

And a month later he got what he wanted, a cute little bump, his little princess.

And oh, how he wished he could ravish you how he wanted…but he’d have to wait for that.

[https-harlow]

So Close, Yet So Far-Part 3 (Finale)

Part 1 Part 2

Summary-(18+ series) The reader finally tells Jack about her feelings, and when they aren't reciprocated, Urban comforts her. As much as the reader doesn't want to hurt either of the boys feelings, she knows she has to make a choice, and she does, causing a couple of different reactions.

Word Count- 12k

Warnings- Smut, angst, fluff, honestly a rollercoaster of emotions.

A/N- I hope you guys like this, this is the longest thing I have ever written and the thing I've put this most effort into, and I'm really proud of it. With a vote of 49 to 38, this is who was picked in the poll, and as much as I did consider writing an ending for both, I've decided not to do that, I can't see the series ending any other way after I wrote this one. I hope you like it either way.

You woke up on top of Urban’s chest, his hands loosely on your back. You laid in his arms again for a few minutes, thinking about the night before. You sighed softly, slowly moving out of Urban’s arms, this time successfully, pausing for a second as you stood up to make sure Urban stayed asleep, watching as he stirred slightly at the loss of contact, but not enough to wake up, arms wrapping around a pillow instead of your waist. You quietly got ready, occasionally when you would make to loud of a noise, your head would shoot over to Urban to make sure he didn’t wake up.

Once you were done getting ready you walked out to the living room, sitting down on the couch, pulling your knees up to your chest, hugging them and resting your chin on your knees. You sighed again, you were glad that Urban felt comfortable enough to admit his feelings towards you, but you couldn’t help but feel guilty that you didn’t notice. You didn’t feel bad about your feelings towards Jack, Urban was telling you to tell Jack, but you weren’t sure if that was the right thing to do. There was only 2 ways that could end, both with one of you heartbroken.

Most likely it would be you. You couldn’t help but be heartbroken if Jack didn’t love you back, but Urban would end up heartbroken if Jack did love you back and you started dating Jack. You wanted to protect yourself, but you knew Urban was right, you needed to talk to Jack about your feelings you just needed to figure out when the right time to do that was.

You didn’t have as much time as you would have liked to think about last night and every possible situation that could come of it before you heard Urban walking out of your room, you looked up as he walked around the corner.

“Where’d you go?” Urban asked, walking over to the couch, sitting down next to you.

“Well, I’m sitting right here, aren’t I?” You teased, making Urban roll his eyes.

“You know what I mean.” Urban muttered, as you leaned into his side, laying your head on his shoulder, Urban laying his arm over your shoulders. He was glad you were still able to be comfortable with him, your relationship remained normal, like your conversation last night never happened.

“I woke up and couldn’t go back to sleep.” You said and Urban nodded.

“Are you okay? After everything last night.” Urban asked, and you nodded this time.

“Yeah, I know you and Jack sleep with other people. I guess I just don’t usually see it, or maybe I just haven’t noticed. I just feel bad, I feel like I’m ruining my relationship with both of you.” You explained. 

“You could never ruin your relationship with me. No matter what, if you end up with Jack and spend the rest of your life with him, or you do that with me, or neither of us, and find someone else you’re in love with, you’re never getting rid of me. I’ll figure my own feelings out, don’t worry about me.” Urban reassured you “I know Jack will understand too, it’s hard to have this type of relationship without someone getting some sort of feelings. Especially as long as we have, it’s been what 4 or 5 years now?”

“Yeah, it’s been a while.” You sighed softly.

 “You’re not the only one who fell in love either, so nothing would be only your fault.” Urban said, and you reached out to trace the tattoo on Urban’s arm. Urban looked down at your hand and smiled softly.

“Promise me no matter what you’ll never hate me.” You said, keeping your eyes on Urban’s tattoo, while his moved to look at you.

“Promise. I mean it when I say you’re never getting rid of me.” Urban said, pressing a kiss to the top of your head.

“When did you realize you were in love with me?” You asked Urban. Urban leaned back on the couch, thinking to himself for a minute.

“I can’t think of a specific moment I fell in love with you, but I remember when I realized I was in love with you. You were picking Jack and I up from the airport a year or two ago, I can’t remember where we were coming from, but I just remember thinking that I never wanted to go another day without seeing you or talking to you. I just remember something was different that time. I guess my life, or our lives, are so hectic, that you are one of the most consistent things in my life, no matter where we were going, or what happened on our trips, that I would come back home to you, and everything was okay. If I wasn’t coming home to you, it’s because you were with us. I could never decide which one was better.” Urban explained.

“Is that why you’ve always been so adamant about me going on trips with you?” You asked, finally looking up at Urban.

“Yeah, as nice as it is to be able to come home to you, I think I decided that I liked having you with us better.” Urban said. “When did you realize you were in love with Jack?” Urban asked you. 

“Do you really want to know, or are you only asking because I asked when you fell in love with me?” You asked and Urban hesitated, part of him was curious and wanted to know, but the other part of him didn’t.

“Yeah, I want to know.” Urban told you, and you looked at him for a second to make sure he didn’t change his mind before you started to explain.

“Like you, I don’t think there was one specific moment I fell in love with Jack, it kind of happened in time. Looking back, I think it started in high school honestly. Remember our senior prom when you and Jack were supposed to be going with a bunch of your friends and Jack ended up ditching you guys and going with me?” You asked and Urban nodded, slightly confused where you were going.

“Yeah, I do.” Urban said before you continued.

“I was supposed to go with my boyfriend, but he broke up with me a couple days before prom, and Jack found out, and asked me to go with him instead.” You explained, “I know it’s stupid, but I guess it just made me realize how much he cared about me, enough to ditch his friends, because he knew I was upset. After that I guess I just started picking up on everything he did, and maybe he meant nothing by any of it, I don’t know, but it made me fall in love with him.” You said, playing with Urban’s fingers as you talked.

“I didn’t know that.” Urban said, referring to the reason Jack took you to prom that year.

“Yeah, well, in high school I didn’t want to be known as the girl whose boyfriend broke up with her right before prom and had someone take her as a pity date, and now I don’t really think or talk about our high school prom anymore.” You said, laughing softly, Urban laughing with you.

“Fair enough, I don’t either. I was confused why Jack ditched us for a while though. He never told us why.” Urban admitted.

“Well now you know, I was the cliché girl in a high school movie.” You joked, making Urban laugh again.

“Can I be honest with you?” Urban asked you.

“Always.” You told him.

“I had a crush on you in high school. I was always just too scared to tell you, I guess that never changed. Then I though Jack liked you after the prom situation, so I got over it eventually and moved on for a while, until I fell in love with you.” Urban said. “I was actually really jealous that Jack was the one to take you to prom.” Urban admitted.

“If you could go back and change things, would you?” You asked Urban, who thought for a second.

“I’m not sure, I don’t think I would, would you?” He asked, making you think. His truthful answer was yes, he would. He would have told you he liked you in high school, maybe you would have fallen in love with him rather than Jack, he often thought of that situation, how his life would have been different if he had gotten the courage to admit his feelings sooner. Would you be engaged, or married yet? Would you live together? Would you have a dog or have started a family? He had no answers to any of those questions, and he never would, but he couldn’t help but think about it often.

“Maybe, it’s hard to say.” You answered, your answer would have also been yes, but you weren’t sure what you’d change. Would you have admitted your feelings to Jack? Probably not, admitting your feelings didn’t guarantee he felt the same way. You probably would have changed falling in love with Jack in the first place. You both sat in silence, you still playing with Urban’s fingers, neither of you looking at each other, but both looking down at where your hands were connected, just like you had been for almost your entire conversation.

“Can we go get breakfast before we go to the studio?” You asked Urban and he nodded.

“Of course, I’ll go get ready then we can go.” Urban told you. “Are you sure you still want to go today? I can make up some excuse for you if you don’t.” 

“Yeah, I’m sure, I promise I’m okay Urb. I would tell you if I wasn’t, plus I can always leave if I change my mind.” You told him, and he nodded, standing up and going to get ready for the day. Nothing had changed with your relationship with Jack, so you knew you would be fine being around him all day.

An hour later you and Urban walked into the studio together, Jack looking over at the door as he heard you walking in and smiled softly, greeting Urban before holding his arms out for you to walk into, which you did, hugging him.

“Hey, you okay? You left early last night?” Jack whispered to you as he hugged you, even though it was late when you left the night before, you were still one of the first ones to leave.

“Yeah, I’m good, just got tired.” You whispered back, Jack nodded, tilting his head down to press his lips softly to the top of your head before pulling away from the hug, going back to his seat. The seat next to Jack was open, everyone knew wherever Jack was sitting, your spot was right next to him, but today you sat down on the couch at the side of the room. Jack watched you sit down and looked confused when you didn’t sit next to him. Jack’s eyes flickered to Urban, then you, then back to Urban, who just shrugged, he didn’t feel like he should be the one to tell Jack what happened. He knew you would when you were ready.

Most of the day at the studio Jack couldn’t get his mind off of why you weren’t acting like you normally did, but he couldn’t figure it out. He thought maybe you were still tired, but usually you got clingier when you were tired, plus you seemed fine with everyone else except him, but he let himself get distracted with his work like he normally did. As it got later some people started to leave, while another group decided to go out again. This time Jack decided to just go home, while Urban decided to go out again.

“You going to come with us?” Urban asked you, and you shook your head.

“No, I think I’m going to go home.” You said, and Urban nodded. 

“Want me to drop you off first?” Urban asked you since he drove you both here, he was your ride home.

“I can take you.” Jack offered, chiming into your conversation.

“Okay.” You smiled softly at Jack. Everyone saying goodbye, Urban double checking that you didn’t want him to take you home before you went your separate ways. Somehow on the short drive home Jack convinced you to come back to their apartment, with the promise of a movie night, which you would never deny.

You both laid on the couch, watching a movie you picked, Jack’s hand absentmindedly rubbing up and down on your waist as you both watched. Both of you making comments occasionally, as it was a movie you had watched several times. Once the movie was over you turned towards Jack, cuddling into his chest.

“Want to go to bed?” Jack asked and you nodded. You knew you shouldn’t be doing any of this right now, you should talk to Jack about your feelings before you got hurt even more then you already would.

Jack sat up with you, turning off the tv before you both walked to Jack’s room, both of you getting ready for bed, Jack getting in bed first, then you, laying down half on the bed and half on top of him, burying your face into his neck, his arms wrapping around your waist, rubbing your lower back. 

You laid like that for a few minutes before you pressed a kiss to Jack’s neck, kissing down to his collarbone. 

“You know, I did have the intention of sleeping, but I don’t mind this either.” Jack said, pulling you gently on top of him, making you laugh softly, pressing a kiss to his lips. Jack deepened the kiss, grabbing at your hips, pulling you closer if that was even possible.

As you continued to kiss, Jack hands roamed your body, not settling on a place, while yours rested on his chest, occasionally moving lower and back up. You pulled away first to catch your breath.

“We don’t have to do anything if you want to sleep, I know your probably tired.” You said and Jack shook his head, his hands resting on your lower back.

“Now, I don’t think that’s what I said.” Jack teased, making you laugh softly before he reconnected your lips, both of your hands roaming each other’s bodies again, yours ending on Jack’s stomach underneath his shirt, his resting on your ass. Jack pulled away, his hands trailing up your sides as he pulled off your shirt, flipping you over, pulling his shirt off before attaching his lips to your jaw, leaving kisses in a line down your jaw and neck, all the way down to your chest.  

One of Jack’s hands went to one of your boobs while he gave the other attention with his mouth. He continued that for a few minutes while you let out small moans, before switching. As some point you had reached one of your hands down to palm Jack through his sweatpants, leading him to let out small groans against your skin, occasionally pushing his hips into your hand.

Jack kissed all the way back up your chest, to your lips, pressing a gentle kiss to your lips before pulling away, both of you pulling off the rest of your clothes. Jack climbing back over you, kissing all the way down your chest and your stomach before he pressed his tongue against your clit, making you let out a moan, one of your hands going to his hair. Jack continued to focus his tongue on your clit, while he thrusted his fingers into you.  He continued until you came around his fingers, pulling them out of you, and removing his tongue from you before he held them up to your mouth so you could clean them. 

“Your always so good for me.” Jack praised, pulling his fingers out of your mouth, kissing your lips again as he pushed himself into you, both of you letting out moans into each other’s mouths. Jack finding his pace quickly, one hand next to your head to hold himself up, while the other held your hips. You ached your back off the bed slightly, letting Jack slip his arm behind your back, holding your hips up slightly. Jack continued to thrust into you, and it didn’t take long until you came for the second time, Jack came shortly after you.

You and Jack were laying in bed, you had his shirt on, and he had put his sweatpants back on. Jack sighed softly, turning to his side so you were facing each other, pushing a strand of hair out of your face.

“Are you mad at me?” Jack asked you, and you looked at him confused.

“Do you think we would have just done what we did if I was mad at you?” You asked Jack, and he shook his head.

“It’s not that, maybe you’re not mad, I don’t know, you just seemed off earlier.” Jack stated, you finally moving your eyes to meet his.

“I’m fine, I’m not mad at you.” In fact, that was the problem. “I just-“ You started before sighing. “I don’t know, I don’t really want to talk about it. Not right now at least.” You said, and Jack nodded.

“You just seemed fine with everyone else, I just thought maybe I did something to piss you off.” He did, but could you reasonably be pissed off at him for looking at other girls when you were sleeping with his best friend.

“I’m not mad at you.” You repeated. “Promise.” 

“Does Urban know?” He asked, and you nodded.

“I’ll tell you tomorrow, okay? Just don’t want to deal with it right now. Go to sleep.” You told him, pressing a kiss to his cheek before laying your head on his chest. You were hoping Jack forgot about it by tomorrow, but you also knew him to well to know that he wouldn’t forget, he would be asking you about it as soon as you woke up. 

“Okay. Goodnight.” Jack kissed the top of your head. “Love you.” Jack whispered.

“Goodnight. I love you too.” You said, sighing softly before you closed your eyes, cuddling into Jack’s side as you both fell asleep.

Jack left the topic alone longer than you thought he would, and part of you was hoping he forgot about it, but the realistic part of you knew that wasn’t the case. You and Jack were sitting on the couch, you were laying with your head in his lap, Jack running his hand through your hair, while you both made small talk.

“Do you have to go the studio today?” You asked Jack, looking up at him, he shook his head.

“No, not today, have the day off.”  Jack said. “Speaking of the studio, do you want to tell me why you were upset yesterday?” Jack asked, maybe you shouldn’t have brought up the studio.

“Not really.” You muttered, sitting up and Jack’s hand fell from your hair to his lap. You both turned to face each other. 

“You can tell me anything.” Jack told you, and you nodded, looking down at your hands for a minute before speaking.

“I think I’m in love with you Jack.” You said. “That’s not true, I know I’m in love with you.” Jack let out a breath that he didn’t realize he was holding.

“That’s what you were so scared to tell me?” Jack asked and you nodded.

“Yeah, because I don’t know if you feel the same way and no matter what someone’s going to get hurt, because Urban is in love with me. If you don’t feel the same way then I’m going to get hurt, but either way Urban gets hurt because I don’t feel the same way about him, and I don’t want to hurt Urban, so I don’t know what to do.” You said, your eyes tearing up as you talked. Jack sat silently for a moment.

“How long have you been in love with me?” Jack asked. 

“Since high school.” You sighed. “I didn’t want to ruin our friendship, and then we started this and I thought I would get over my crush on you, but it turns out that sleeping with someone isn’t the best way to get over your crush on them.” You said sarcastically. “I ended up falling more in love with you, but I didn’t think it was a big deal until Urban told me he was in love with me.” You explained and Jack nodded.

“And that’s why you were upset yesterday?” Jack asked, and you shook your head.

“No, I was upset, because the night at the club you had your arm around another girl and flirting with her, right after I left your side, I got jealous and upset. That’s why Urban took me home early. I didn’t want to watch you take another girl home. I know it happens, but it was different seeing it, I guess. I ended up crying to Urban that night, and he told me that he knew I am in love with you, because he’s in love with me.” You explained.

Even though Jack wasn’t in love with you right now, there was a part of him that did see the possibility of spending the rest of his life with you, he was just focused on his career now. Jacks silence was the only answer you needed for the confirmation that he didn’t love you back.

“You don’t feel the same way, do you?” You asked quietly and Jack sighed, rubbing his hand over his face.

“I don’t, I’m sorry.” Jack sighed again. “I just can’t be focused on a relationship right now. It wouldn’t be fair to you. You deserve someone who can dedicate their time to you, I just can’t do that right now. I think that one day it could work out, once my career calms down, I’m not spending every night at the studio, or out of town all the time. I mean it when I say I never want to spend a day without you, that I always want you with me, and that I can’t picture my life without you, and I don’t want to. I just don’t think it would work out right now.” Jack explained and you nodded, wiping the tears from your cheeks.

“It’s okay, I didn’t expect you to feel the same way.” You said, “I think we should stop our friends with benefits relationship, at least for now.” Jack nodded in agreement.

“I think that’s the best thing for right now. You and Urban need to figure out your feelings, and we’ll go from there.” You nodded, wiping your tears again.

“I should probably go home.”

“You don’t have to, if you don’t want to.” Jack told you, reaching up to wipe underneath your eyes.

“I should. I don’t want to but I kind of just want to be alone for a little bit.” You said, and Jack nodded. 

“I understand.” Jack smiled sadly at you. You stood up, grabbing your stuff before Jack stood up.

“Wait.” He said and you turned around, Jack held his arms out for you, and you smiled softly at him, walking into his arms as he wrapped them around you, you wrapping yours around his waist.

“I’m sorry.” Jack whispered. “Just because I’m not in love with you right now, you know I still love you right?” Jack asked and you nodded.

“I know. No matter what I’ll always love you too, even if I’m not in love with you anymore. You’ll always be my best friend. I never want to lose you.” You said. 

“Never want to lose you either. I’m not going to let that happen.” Jack said, kissing the top of your head before you both pulled away from the hug.

“Let me know if you need anything and I’ll be there or make it happen somehow, you already know to text me when you get home.” Jack said and you nodded.

“I will, promise.” You wiped your tears one more time before you walked out of the apartment.

Seeing you cry broke his heart, but he wasn’t aware how much he was breaking yours. What hurt the most is that you gave him permission to break your heart. He didn’t do anything wrong, nothing that you could reasonably be mad at him for. Sure, he hurt your feelings, but he didn’t do it on purpose. He didn’t know you were in love with him, just like you didn’t know Urban was in love with you. You weren’t mad at him, but you wish you were, it might make things easier.

It hurt you even more knowing this is what you were putting Urban through. Morally you had Jack hadn’t done anything wrong, but it still hurt you and Urban emotionally.

As much as you didn’t want to leave, you knew that letting Jack comfort you would just make things worse. You didn’t want to lose your friendship with Jack, neither of you were going to let that happen, but you needed to distance yourself for the time being.

A couple hours later there was a knock on your door, you groaned as you stood up to answer it. You walked to the door and opened it, revealing Urban standing at your door, holding something behind your back.

“Hey, you okay?” Urban asked, stepping into your apartment.

“Do I look like it?” You asked, only half joking, you had been crying on and off since you got home.

“I think I know better than to answer that.” Urban joked back, making you laugh softly, Urban smiling softly to himself. You knew Urban could tell you weren’t okay by your eyes that were red from your crying and your tear-stained cheeks.

“Did Jack send you here?” You asked, you had texted Jack when you got home, but not since that, not even for your favorite ice cream he always got you when you were sad, but you weren’t going to ask Jack to do anything for you even though you promised you would. You both knew that.

“Yes and no. Yes, he wanted me to come check on you, but I was going to even if he didn’t.” Urban said. “Jack told me what happened.” 

“Don’t really want to talk about it.” You said and Urban nodded.

“That’s not what I’m here for. I want to help keep your mind off of it.” Urban explained, reaching into the bag he brought, pulling out your favorite ice cream. “Jack told me to give this to you.” He explained, and you took it from him, you couldn’t help but smile softly, walking into the kitchen, grabbing 2 spoons before walking back to Urban.

“Want to eat it with me while we watch a movie?” You asked and Urban nodded, putting the bag down on your counter.

“Hope there’s room in your freezer, cause there’s 2 more things of ice cream in there.” Urban said and you rolled your eyes.

“Of course, he did.” You muttered under your breath, Urban laughing softly as you put them away.

“He just feels bad. He told me to tell you that one was for you being sad, one was an apology ice cream for making you cry, and one was for…. I can’t remember what the third one was for.” Urban said, making you laugh again.

“Well, I’ll tell him thank you next time I see him.” You said, walking over to the couch, Urban sitting next to you and you handed him a spoon. “You can pick the movie.” You told him.

You and Urban spent the rest of the night eating ice cream, watching movies, and you even ordered pizza at some point, figuring you should eat something other than just ice cream. It was nice because it kept you distracted from thinking about Jack. Not that you couldn’t think about him at all, but his rejection hurt, and it was nice to not think about it for a while.

Several movies later and you had fallen asleep with your head on Urban’s shoulder. Urban laid you down so your head was in his lap, playing with your hair while he finished watching the movie that was playing. Once the movie was over, Urban woke you up.

“Do you want to go to bed?” Urban asked you softly.

“So, you woke me up to ask me if I want to go to bed?” You teased but nodded anyway. “But the answer is yes.” Urban laughed softly.

“Do you want me to leave?” Urban asked you, you shook your head.

“Not really, but I feel bad asking you to stay.” You told him.

“Why?” Urban asked, looking down at you as your head rested on his hip, his fingers tracing random shapes underneath your collarbone as he talked.

“I just feel like we both need to figure out our feelings, and I don’t think we can do that if we keep doing this. I love you being here, you have made today so much better for me. It’s not fair to you though to expect you to be here for me like this. If you need space that’s okay.” You explained.

“I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t want to be. I’ll stay as long as you let me.” Urban told you. “What would be helpful is if you could be more annoying and not so adorable all the time.” Urban said, making you roll your eyes playfully. 

“I’ll work on that.” You joked. “Let’s go to bed before I fall back asleep.” Urban nodded and you sat up, walking to your room, both of you getting ready for bed. You laying down first while Urban finished getting ready before laying next to you.

“Thank you for being here.” You said to Urban, both of you laying so you were facing each other.

“Always.” Urban smiled softly. Urban being with you was helping him figure out his feelings for you, but not in the way either of you were hoping. He was falling more in love with you. Maybe you were right though, if he distanced himself, even just a little bit, from you, he wouldn’t continue to fall in love with you, but he didn’t want to. Not right now. He wanted to be there for you, he knew what you were going through and how much it hurt, even though you were acting like you were fine.

Urban rubbed your back as you fell asleep again. Urban made himself stay awake until you fell asleep, but he fell asleep right after you did.

The next time you saw Jack was the day before you were supposed to fly out to California with Jack and Urban. You weren’t trying to avoid each other, your schedules just didn’t line up. Urban had been spending a lot more time at your apartment, almost all day when he wasn’t with Jack, and spending every night with you. Jack was spending one more day at the studio before he left. He wasn’t expecting you to show up, but he was hoping that you would every day.

Jack looked over when he heard you walk in, seeing you behind Urban, smiling once he saw you. He felt a sense of relief when he saw you. He had been worried the past several days that you hated him, and everyone could sense something was wrong with Jack, but no one asked him what was wrong, the only one who knew was Urban. 

“Hey.” Jack stood up, walking over to you, and giving you a hug, which you returned.

“Hey.” You smiled, relaxing slightly into his hug.

“Can we talk?” Jack whispered pulling away from the hug.

“Yeah, shouldn’t you be working though?” You asked and Jack shrugged.

“Yeah, but it will be quick.” Jack said, telling everyone he’d be back and leading you out of the room. 

“How have you been?” Jack asked.

“I’m good. I’m not going to lie, the first day was tough, but I knew how you felt, so I should have been expecting it.” You said.

“It’s not your fault you know.” Jack said and you nodded.

“I know.” You looked at Jack “Thanks for the ice cream by the way.” You smiled softly and Jack looked at you confused.

“What ice cream?” Jack asked, now you were confused.

“The ice cream you had Urban bring me the day I left your apartment.” You clarified.

“I mean this in the nicest way possible, but I didn’t buy you ice cream. Before Urban left, he asked me if there was anything I think you’d like him to bring, but I didn’t tell him to bring it.” Jack explained.

“Oh, Urban said it was from you.” The ice cream wasn’t from Jack, Urban just didn’t want you to know if was from him. He wanted to do something nice for you, but he didn’t want you to take it as him trying to get you to fall for him the day Jack rejected you. That’s why he couldn’t think of what the third ice cream was for, it was all a lie that he was trying to come up with on the spot. Urban just didn’t think you would ever find out.

“Well, it wasn’t from me.” Jack said. “I’ve thought you were pissed off at me the past couple days since I haven’t seen you”

“I meant it when I said I’d never be mad at you, just was busy.” You explained and Jack nodded.

“Are you still coming to California with us?” Jack asked. “You don’t have to if you don’t want to, but the invitation is still open, I’d love for you to come.” Jack said and you nodded.

“Yeah, I will, I was hoping the invitation was still open because I never thought about not going with you.” Jack nodded. 

“Good.” Jack smiled, both of you walking back into the room. You sat down next to Urban who looked over at you.

“Everything good?” Urban asked and you nodded.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” You told Urban, and he nodded, resting his arm on the back of the chair you were sitting in, and you laid your head on his shoulder. You spent the rest of the day at the studio with Jack and Urban, splitting your attention between the two.

When you were all leaving Jack was trying to talk you into going back to there apartment. Jack was hugging you to say goodbye, arms around your shoulders and his chin rested on the top of your head.

“Come back with us. I missed having you around.” Jack told you, your arms wrapped around Jack’s waist. 

“I can’t, have to pack.” You said. “You can come back to my place if you want. What time are we leaving tomorrow?” You asked, finally pulling away from the hug. Jack sighing softly as you did.

“Like 6am.” Jack said, and you looked at your phone for the time.

“Jack it’s 10pm. You should go home and sleep instead of hanging out with me.” You told him.

“But I missed you.” Jack argued, you loved how clingy Jack could get when you hadn’t seen each other in a few days, but it sure wasn’t making it easier for you to get over him.

“We’re going to be stuck on a plane together, in 8 hours, we can hang out then, I think you can manage 8 hours away from me.” You reassured.

“Fine, as long as you promise not to fall asleep on me.” Jack teased, knowing on most early morning flights you would fall asleep, especially since you still had to finish packing.

“I make no promises.” You said and Jack laughed. “If I do, we’ll hang out after we land, you don’t have anywhere to be after we land right?” You asked and Jack shook his head.

“Nope, I’m all yours.” Jack said.

“And who said I wanted that?” You joked.

“Well, if I recall a certain conversation we had…” Jack said and you hit his arm, half playfully, half to get him to stop talking. 

“Jack.” You groaned, rolling your eyes. Jack laughing softly and wrapping his arms around you again.

“I’m sorry. That wasn’t very nice of me.” Jack apologized.

“No, it’s okay, I was kind of asking for that one.” You laughed, Jack smiled, happy that you weren’t upset over his joke. “I really need to go home.” You sighed softly and Jack pulled away from the hug. Both of you saying goodbye before both going back to your separate homes.

The whole weeklong trip, your time was spent between Urban and Jack, when you weren’t with one you were with the other. You had pulled away from Jack a little bit, not being of affectionate with him, but that’s how your friendship always was. The trip certainly didn’t help you or Urban figure out your feelings, but you didn’t expect it to happen immediately.

Over the next couple months, Urban fell even more in love with you, if that was even possible, and you finally fell out of love with Jack. It was harder than you expected, but Urban helped a lot. You and Urban never officially broke off your friends with benefits relationship, you still slept together sometimes, but you wanted Urban to be able to get over his feelings for you, just like you had your feelings for Jack. 

You had started to notice more of the things Urban did for you that you always wanted Jack to do. Urban would buy you flowers occasionally, take you out on friend “dates” just the two of you, show up at your apartment with your favorite candy, staying up until the sun rose just so you could watch the sunrise together, because you liked to watch the sunrise but you didn’t like to get up early, and how he was able to hang out with you more without work getting in the way.

Urban never had the intention of doing any of those things to make you fall in love with him, he just liked to make you happy, but if a consequence of those actions made you fall in love with him, he wasn’t going to complain. He just didn’t want you to fall in love with him because Jack rejected you. Urban knew you were getting over your feelings for Jack, but he also knew how strong your feelings were in the first place.

You had picked Jack and Urban up from the airport earlier in the day, spending a couple hours with both, of them before Jack had decided to go home and go to sleep, leaving you and Urban alone. They had flown in late, so you decided you wanted to stay up and watch the sunrise before going to bed, Urban deciding to stay with you. You had been laying on your balcony, Urban laying his head on a random pillow, you using his arm that was around you as your pillow. You held Urban’s hand in yours, tracing random patterns with your other hand on the back of his hand. Both of you staring up at the sky, enough light out that you could see each other with no problem, but the sun wasn’t completely out.

“Do you remember the day you told me you loved me?” You asked Urban and he nodded even though you couldn’t see it. 

“Yeah, I do. What about it?” Urban asked.

“You said how the moment you realized you had fallen in love with me was when I picked you up from the airport. I know it sounds cliché but today at the airport when I was picking you and Jack up, I realized that I think I’m in love with you. I felt the same way you said you felt that I don’t want to spend another day without you.” You said quietly, and Urban laid in silence for a moment, making you grow more nervous for his response. You thought he was still in love with you, but maybe you had read the signs wrong, and it was going to be a repeat of you telling Jack you loved him.

“I love you too.” Urban said, and you let out the breath you were holding. “Are you sure you’re in love with me though, or do you just love me because you can’t have Jack.” Urban asked and you looked over at him, while he stayed looking up at the sky.

“What do you mean?” You asked. “I don’t love Jack anymore.” 

“You say that, but could you tell me with 100% confidence that if Jack told you he loved you right now, you wouldn’t be with him instead of me?” Urban asked, and you hesitated a little too long in your response, which gave Urban the answer he was looking for. 

“I don’t expect you to be able to do that. You were in love with Jack for almost 7 years. It’s only been what? 3 months since you told him you loved him? I know you, and I know how in love you were with Jack. Over the past 3 months, I’ve only fallen more in love with you, and I know it’s going to hurt less if you end up with Jack without dating me. I don’t want to finally get my chance with you, just to lose you to my best friend. I can’t be the second choice.” Urban told you, still not looking over at you as you sat up, Urban sat up as well and finally looked over at you.

“Do you really think I would do that to you? That I would fall in love with you and then leave you for Jack? You’re not my second choice. The love that I wanted from Jack, was the love that you have been giving me. Something that I’m not sure Jack could ever give me. I’m not going to lie and say there isn’t a part of me that still loves Jack, but I’m not in love with him anymore. I love Jack as a best friend. I know 3 months seems like such a short period of time compared to 7 years, and it is, but it was a one-sided love. I knew that Jack probably didn’t love me like that, and yes it hurt to hear it confirmed, but that doesn’t change how I feel about you now.” 

“I just can’t risk losing you once I have you. I can handle you being with Jack if that’s what makes you happy, but I don’t think I could handle you leaving me for him. I’m not saying you would, I just need you to sure that’s not going to happen. All I want is for you to be happy, and I’ve always put that before my own emotions, but this time I need to put my own happiness first.” Urban said and you nodded.

“I just want you to know that I would never do that to you. I know how bad that would hurt you, and I could never hurt you like that. I will always love Jack as a friend, but I promise I don’t love him like I love you anymore.” You said.

“I’m not saying no. You don’t understand how fucking bad I want to be with you. I’m just saying that I think we should take things slow, not rush into anything. Just in case. I just don’t want to be a second choice.” Urban leaned over to kiss your forehead as you nodded again.

“That’s fair, let’s take things slow.” You agreed and Urban smiled softly, holding his arms out for you so that you both could lay back down to finish watching the sunrise. While you laid in Urban’s arms you couldn’t help but let a couple tears fall, as much as you tried to hold them back, but luckily Urban never noticed.

Urban’s words hurt you more then you let on. The idea that he thought you would leave him for Jack hurt. You understood where he was coming from, and you were happy he was finally putting himself first, but it wasn’t the response you were expecting. When Jack rejected you, you were expecting it, and even though Urban didn’t reject you, it still felt like he did.  You both laid there in silence as the sun continued to rise, Urban’s arm around you, his hand rubbing your arm.

Once the sun was up you both got up, walking back into your apartment as you yawned. Urban looked over at you, seeing your eyes were red from the previous tears. He couldn’t help but feel like they were because of him.

“Were you crying? Are you okay?” Urban asked, placing his finger underneath your chin to tilt your head up so you were looking at him.

“No, I’m fine.” You told him, breaking eye contact before Urban could read through you, unfortunately Urban knew you too well so it was too late. “Just tired. Let’s go to bed.”

“Was it because of what I said?” Urban asked, completely ignoring what you said because he knew it wasn’t the truth. You hesitated to answer, and Urban knew that meant he was right, and you didn’t want to tell him the truth, but you didn’t want to lie either.

“Baby.” He sighed softly, pulling you into a hug. “I’m sorry.” As soon as Urban hugged you, you started to cry again. Urban didn’t mean anything he said in an accusing way, but all he had known up to this point was sharing you with Jack. Urban kissed the top of your head repeatedly while he held you. After a few minutes you pulled away, wiping your eyes as you sighed.

“Let’s just go to bed.” You told Urban. “Are you staying over?” You asked.

“Okay, but we’ll talk about this later.” Urban said. “I’ll stay if you want me too.” You nodded.

“Of course, I do, I missed you.” You smiled softly, leading Urban to your room where you both fell asleep quickly.

Urban woke up before you did, holding you as you slept for a little while, before he had to leave, gently waking you up to tell you he was leaving, before kissing your forehead, and leaving, letting you fall back asleep. He didn’t want to leave, but he had plans he couldn’t cancel.

It was a couple hours later when Urban was texting you asking if he could come over, which you said yes, Urban showing up shortly after.

Urban knocked on the front door, you opened it and smiled softly at Urban. 

“Hey.” You opened the door further for him to walk in.

“Hey, I got these for you.” Urban said, handing you some flowers he picked up on his way. You smiled and took them from him. 

“Thank you, I love them, but you didn’t have to get me anything.” You told him, walking to the kitchen to put the flowers in a vase. Urban shrugged.

“I wanted to. I felt bad after what I said last night. I also got you ice cream because I felt bad about making you cry.” Urban said, pulling a bag out from behind his back.

“It is apology ice cream?” You asked, slightly teasing Urban, though he didn’t know that you knew he was the one to buy you ice cream last time.

“I mean, yes, it is.” Urban said.

“I know you were the one to buy me ice cream last time, not Jack.” You told him, and he looked at you confused. 

“Why do you think that?” He asked.

“Jack told me. Well, he didn’t tell me you bought it, but he told me he didn’t buy it and that you asked if there was anything that he thought I would like, so I figured it out from there.” You explained, watching as Urban blushed, looking away from you to hide his face.

“You weren’t supposed to find that out.” Urban told you, walking over to you and wrapping his arms around your waist.

“Well, I think its cute.” You told him, wrapping your arms around his shoulders.

“I just didn’t want you to think that I was trying to get with you already, I didn’t do it to flirt with you, I did it as a friend who was comforting another friend.” Urban explained.

“I know.” You sighed softly. “Like I know you were right last night. It was hard hearing it, but if the roles were reversed, and you were in love with someone for years, just to be in love with me a couple months after they rejected you, I would have had the same reaction, especially with how close Jack and I still are. I can’t be mad at you for not wanting to get hurt and finally putting yourself first.” You told Urban.

“I could have handled it differently. I just wasn’t expecting you to say you were in love with me. I guess it was just the situation where you’ve been wanting something for years, and when you finally get it, you panic because you’ve wanted it for so long, you’re afraid to lose it. I shouldn’t have pushed you away before I even had you. I know you’ll always love Jack in some capacity, I can’t expect you not to, and I still think it’s best if we don’t jump into things to fast.” Urban said and you nodded.

“I agree.” You smiled softly, running your fingers through his hair.

“You’re still mine though. That doesn’t change.” Urban smiled softly.

“Always will be.” You reassured. Both of you leaning into press your lips together, deepening the kiss for a moment before you both pulled away. Urban pushed your hair out of your face while you unwrapped your arms from his neck, grabbing the ice cream that was still on the counter and 2 spoons.

“Let’s go watch a movie, we can continue this later.” Urban nodded, laughing softly, both of you walking into the living room, scrolling to find a movie to watch. “So do I get ice cream every time I cry?” You asked Urban, laughing softly. Urban laughed again and shrugged.

“If that’s what you want, then yes, as long as you share. I’ll get you whatever you want.” Urban told you.

“I was kidding Urb, but I’ll never deny ice cream, and I’ll always share with you.” You said, leaning into his side, one of his arms going around your shoulders. You settled on a movie, both eating the ice cream Urban brought you. Once you finished the ice cream you both ended up cuddled on the couch. 

Over the next month, you and Urban got even closer, you were practically inseparable. Not that you were apart that often before, but your time used to be split more evenly between Urban and Jack. Neither of you ever told any of your friends about your relationship, it wasn’t official so there wasn’t really anything to tell. They could all tell something was different about your relationship though. They noticed how you were always touching in some way, which again, wasn’t that different from your relationship before, but it was different, you were always holding hands so you didn’t lose each other in a crowd, arms around each other, how you would lean into his side, and how you would lay your head on his arm. Basically, you were treating Urban how you used to treat Jack, except this time you were being treated the same way. Jack would even comment on it.

“So, when are you going to make things official?” Jack asked Urban, both of them standing in a corner at the small party you were all at, you were currently getting a drink, leaving the two alone.

“What do you mean?” Urban looked over at Jack, confused at Jack’s seemingly random comment.

“You know what I mean. She’s in love with you you know. She treats you like she used to treat me, you can just reciprocate that. You guys are good for each other.” Jack clarified.

“We’re taking things slow, don’t want to make a complicated situation even more complicated.” Urban told him, referring to your past feelings for Jack.

“I get that. I can tell she loves you though. I haven’t seen her this happy in a while.” Jack told Urban and you came back before Urban could respond.

It took another month for Urban to finally make things official. It had been hard for you two to get any time alone with all the traveling you had been doing. Urban had convinced you to join them on their Europe trip, not with the plans of making anything official, but just because he wanted you to be there with him. You had been walking along the beach with Urban and the group that was with you when somehow you two managed to sneak away without anyone noticing. Not that it was that hard, you two just slowed down and let the group go ahead of you. 

As you walked next to Urban, holding his hand with your fingers intertwined you two were talking about anything that you could think of, mostly catching each other up on the short time you had been apart, as if you didn’t talk on the phone every night you were apart. Jack was the first one to notice you two missing, looking around before seeing you both who had stopped walking, you laughing at something Urban had said. Jack couldn’t help but smile at his two best friends. At the same time, Jack couldn’t help but be jealous that he was no longer the one who made you feel like that. 

Urban smiled at you, pulling you into his side and kissing the top of your head before gently pulling you in front of him, resting his hands on your hips while your arms wrapped loosely around his neck. You two were truly in your own little world when you were together, not caring about anything but each other.

“I love you.” Urban smiled, leaning forward to kiss you, you kiss him back.

“I love you too.” You smiled back at Urban, kissing him again.

“I should have done this sooner, especially when we both know you’re already mine, but I want to make it official. I’m not going to make this long and sappy, we both know how I feel, and I’d rather show you how I feel then stand here and tell you, but as much as I should have done this months ago when you told me that you loved me, I’m glad we waited, I don’t regret it. I keep falling more and more in love with you. Will you officially be my girlfriend?” Urban asked you, and you nodded, smiling at him.

“Of course, I will. You already know that.” You smiled, gently pulling him down to kiss him once more, Urban deepened the kiss, his hand resting on your lower back to pull you closer. You both pulled away after a minute, but you leaned against Urban’s chest. 

“You’re warm.” You said, and Urban laughed softly, rubbing your back softly. You didn’t realize how cold you were until you were leaning against his chest.

“Cold baby?” Urban asked and you nodded softly, Urban pulled away from you for a moment to take his jacket off, wrapping it around you. “Here.” He smiled softly.

“Are you not cold?” You asked him, pulling his jacket on. Urban shook his head, wrapping his arms around you again.

“No, I’m good. Plus, it just gives me another reason to be close to you.” Urban said and you teasingly rolled your eyes.

“You’re cheesy sometimes you know?” You said, tilting your head up to kiss his jaw softly. 

“Only for you.” Urban smiled softly. 

“Good, I don’t mind though.”

You both stayed in your own world for a few more minutes, before Urban finally looked over to see where your friends went, seeing them standing around waiting for you two, some of them watching you, others looking at their phones.

“We should probably go, I think they are waiting on us.” Urban said laughing softly as you looked over at your friends, you laughing softly as well. Both of you pulling away from each other, Urban reconnecting your hands as you walked back over to your friends.

“What took you so long?” Jack teased as you both made it back to the group.

“Urb asked me to be his girlfriend.” You answered, and your friends let out a chorus of “It was about time”, and “finally”, making you and Urban laugh.

“I’m happy for you guys.” Jack told you, smiling, but you could see that it wasn’t a genuine smile, but you just assumed he was tired and stressed about his shows coming up. 

Several hours later you and Urban made it back to your hotel room, both of you laying in bed facing each other.

“So, now that your officially my girlfriend, does this mean you’ll come on every single trip with me?” Urban asked.

“You do know that I only haven’t gone on 3 trips with you in the past couple months, and the longest of those trips was 4 days?” You teased.

“I know.” Urban shrugged. “Still too long.” Urban said, turning to lay on his back, gently pulling you on top of him.

“I agree. I’ll come with you on every trip.” You reassured making Urban smile.

“Good.” Urban leaned forward to kiss you softly. It didn’t take long until your gentle kisses turned into a deeper kiss with your hands roaming each other’s bodies. You grinding your hips into Urban’s, causing Urban to let out groans into the kiss. Urban broke the kiss once to slip your shirt off, you took the opportunity to slip his off as well before Urban reconnected your lips.

While you were kissing, Urban took off your bra, his hands going to your boobs, his fingers brushing your nipples, his hands squeezing at your boobs occasionally as you let out moans. You reached down to unbutton Urban’s jeans, pulling them down as far as you could before he helped you pull off the rest of his clothes. While he was doing that you took off the rest of your clothes as well. 

Once Urban laid back down, you got back on top of him, kissing his lips gently before crawling down, gently taking his tip in your mouth.

“Fuck.” Urban groaned, his hands going to your hair as you took more of him in your mouth until you couldn’t anymore. Urban used his hand that was in your hair to guide your head as you moved up and down, Urban occasionally thrusting his hips up into your mouth as he let out moans. 

Urban gently pulled you off him and back up so he could kiss you again before flipping you over, kissing down your jaw, chest, and stomach before leaving scattered kisses on your thighs, before pressing his lips against your clit causing you to let out a moan. He licked at your clit for a few moments before pulling away and pressing his thumb against it and pushing his tongue inside of you. You pushed your hips up into him and he used his other hand to push them back down. He continued to thrust his tongue into you, slowly adding more pressure as he brushed his thumb on your clit. It didn’t take long until you were already close to your release.

“Fuck Urb I’m close.” You moaned out and he looked up at you and nodded gently, telling you it was okay to cum. Moments later you were letting out strings of curse words mixed with moans as you came around his tongue. Urban continued to thrust his tongue into you through your release before pulling away and kissing back up to your lips.

Urban grabbed one of your hands with his, pulling it up to kiss your knuckles before pinning it next to your head underneath his own hand.

“You ready baby?” Urban asked you and you nodded. It didn’t take long until he was thrusting into you. Both of you letting out moans as he did, you arched your back against the bed before Urban was flipping you over once more, so you were straddling him. You started to bounce your hips on top of his, one of Urban’s hands staying on your hips so he could gently guide them as he thrusted up into you, while the other let go of your hand to go to your boob, thumb brushing your nipple again.

Eventually both of Urban’s hands ended up on your hips, while yours were on his chest to steady yourself. Urban guiding your hips more as you got tired.

“Fuck I’m close again.” You moaned out, Urban moaning with you.

“Me too baby, so close.” Urban told you and within a couple more thrusts you both came, riding out your highs before you laid down next to urban, as he turned on his side to face you, pushing your hair out of your face.

“Your all mine, finally.” Urban smiled softly, but you both already knew that, he kissed your forehead as he pulled you into his chest.

“All yours, always.” You smiled and laid your head on his chest.

As your relationship with Urban continued to progress, you didn’t notice how Jack started to act different around you. He distanced himself, which was hard because Urban was always around Jack, which meant you were always around. 

It wasn’t until one day the three of you were sitting around backstage at one of Jack’s shows, waiting for him to go on, that Jack realized why he was distancing himself. You sat in Urban’s lap, his arm around your waist. You couldn’t help but watch as Jack interacted with people, noticing how Jack didn’t seem like himself, even as it was only the three of you. Jack finally sat down on the other side of the room. 

“You okay?” You asked Jack and he looked up at you.

“Hm, I’m fine.” Jack told you.

“Are you sure? You seem kinda off.” You said and Jack shook his head. 

“I’m good, promise. Just tired.” Jack said and you nodded even though you didn’t believe him.

Later once Jack was on stage you were alone with Urban.

“Does Jack seem off to you? It’s not just me, right?” You asked and Urban nodded in agreement.

“Yeah. He won’t tell anyone what’s wrong. Just that he’s tired, but I think we both know him well enough to know it’s not just that.” Urban said, running his fingers through your hair.

“At least it’s not just me.” You sighed softly and leaned against Urban’s chest as he kissed the top of your head and wrapped his arms around you as you both watched Jack preform.

After Jack had finished his show, you decided to try to talk to him about what was wrong. You waited a little bit once everyone stopped swarming Jack to find him.

“Hey Jack, can we talk?” You asked, making him look over at you and nod.

“Yeah, of course is something wrong?” He asked and you didn’t answer.

“Let’s go somewhere else.” You told him and he nodded, following you into his dressing room which was currently empty. You both sat down on one of the couches, facing each other.

“Everyone knows you’re not just tired Jack.” You sighed softly. “I’ve known you too long to fall for that one. I’m sure you are tired, but I know that’s not the only thing bothering you. I know you don’t like to open up a lot, but I just want you to know you can tell me anything that’s bothering you.” You told Jack, usually he did tell you everything, so that’s why you were so concerned when he wasn’t.

“I really shouldn’t tell you this time trust me.” Jack said and you sighed again.

“Then tell Urban. We’re worried about you.” You told him.

“You really want me to tell Urban, the one who almost got us kicked out of a club because a guy looked at you to long then offered to buy you a drink, that I’m in love with you? I’m good, I think I’ll keep this one to myself.” Jack sighed, rubbing his hands over his face, “Fuck, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything.”

Jack was always the type of guy who wanted what he couldn’t have, but he wasn’t in love with you because you were dating Urban, he just realized his feelings a little to late. He realized he loved you a couple days before you and Urban made your relationship official. Maybe that’s why he noticed how happy Urban made you, just like Urban did when you were in love with Jack.

“Jack.” You sighed. “Urban’s your best friend. You don’t have to tell him if you don’t want to, but he’s not going to try to fight you or anything. Our whole situation was, or I guess still is, complicated. We started all of this at 19 without thinking that feelings would get involved, or that anyone would get hurt. Maybe that was stupid to think, but you can’t help what you feel.” You told jack and he sat back on the couch.

“I know, I just feel bad being in love with you because your happy with Urban. I don’t expect you to leave him for me, and I don’t want you too. I won’t act on my feelings or anything, not while your together, I couldn’t do that to either of you. I do really want you two to be happy together, it just hurts sometimes knowing Urban makes you as happy as I used to, but I didn’t realize it until it was to late.” Jack told you.

“I know how you feel, and Urban does too, I’m sure that’s how he felt when I was in love with you. He told me to be with you, he’s the one who got me to even tell you about my feelings for you. Like I said it’s a complicated situation, more complicated than any of us expected. I don’t think that Urban and I really thought about how you would feel if we got together. I mean I thought about it, but I didn’t think there was ever a chance you would fall in love with me so I just assumed you would be okay.” You said and leaned back just like Jack did before continuing.

“I know that one day you will find someone who you love, and who loves you back at the same time. I did really love you Jack, and I still do, just not in that way anymore. I know it hurts right now, loving someone who can’t love you back, but I also know that everything works out and one day you’ll be happier than you’ve ever been.” You told Jack and he nodded.

“Thank you, for not being mad at me or anything.” Jack said, smiling at you softly.

“I could never be mad at you. You’re still my best friend. If you ever want to talk, I’ll be there, promise. I also promise not to tell Urban, but I think you should, it might help. Especially when he’s been through the same exact thing.” You told him and Jack shrugged.

“Maybe, we’ll see.” Jack told you. “I’m sorry by the way.” You looked at Jack confused.

“Sorry for what?” You asked.

“For putting you through this, it sucks.” Jack said and you shook your head.

“No need to be sorry. Everything I said to you, is exactly what I experienced with Urban. I know it was easier for me because I already had Urban, but I know you’ll experience the same thing.” You told him.

“I mean it when I said I won’t act my feelings, I just want you to be happy and I’m glad you found someone who makes you as happy as you make them.” Jack told you and you nodded, smiling softly.

“I believe you Jack, I’m not doing that to Urban anyways, I couldn’t hurt him like that, and thank you.” You said. Holding your arms out to give Jack a hug, wrapping your arms around each other for a moment before you both pulled away. 

“You can go, I’m sure Urban’s waiting for you. I’m going to stay here for a few minutes.” Jack said and you nodded.

“You sure? Do you want me to stay with you?” You asked and Jack shook his head.

“I’ll be fine, promise.” Jack told you and you nodded again.

“Let me know if you need anything.” You smiled at him softly before walking out of the room. Urban looking over when he heard the door open, smiling once he saw you walking towards him, his arm going around your waist out of habit.

“Is Jack okay?” He asked you and you nodded.

“He’ll be okay.” You told him, laying your head on his shoulder.

It took Jack a couple months to get over his feelings for you, but he eventually did, keeping himself busy with work. At first it hurt him to see you happy with Urban, but he eventually got to a point that it made him happy to see his two best friends so happy together. Sure, your relationship with the two wasn’t always the most normal for the first 5 years, but your relationship with Urban now couldn’t have been better. You were happy, and so were Jack and Urban.

For your official one-year anniversary Urban had surprised you by asking you to marry him and of course you said yes. It was simple, exactly how you both wanted it, Urban taking you to a park you all hung out in high school, and the same park that you met Urban for the first time. The proposal was similar to Urban asking you to be his girlfriend, Urban not wanting to make things too sappy and that he always thought it was more important to show you how he felt everyday rather than telling you on one night, not that he didn’t do both daily.

You and Urban went back to the apartment where you had moved in with them a while ago, it just made more sense than Urban moving into yours, theirs was bigger. Jack looked over when he heard the door being unlocked and opened.

“Hey. I think this is my cue to leave if I don’t want to hear you two all night.” Jack said, making you all laugh softly, Jack noticed the new ring on your finger quickly. “Wait. Did you propose?” He asked Urban and you both nodded.

“Yeah.” Urban said, kissing the top of your head.

“And I said yes.” You said, smiling.

“Of course you did you have the ring on.” Jack joked, “Why didn’t you tell me Urban?” Jack asked, feeling jealous, but not because of you this time. He felt jealous because his best friend didn’t tell him he was asking his other best friend to marry him. “I thought we told each other everything.”

“Didn’t want you to ruin the surprise.” Urban answered, making you laugh softly, because you knew Urban was right, there was a big chance he would have. Jack walked over to both of you and hugged you both.

“I’m really happy for you guys.” He said, but this time he meant it. He truly couldn’t be happier for either of you.

[dollmoth-productions]

Okay so this is a story I wrote months ago for metal family it's mostly a work-in-progress I never finished and honestly I pretty much hated but like I think you guys are starved from content so here's this if you're not really in the middle family that I don't think this will be up your alley but yet again this was mostly time for experimentation for this well I was trying to find my writing style this is probably one of the longest stories I've ever made and it was mostly one shot I'll possibly make a sequel if you guys want yet again I hate this and I don't know why I'm posting it but like I'm bored and this is just something fun

TW OBSESSIVE BEHAVIOR STALKING POSSESSIVE BEHAVIOR STOCKHOLM SYNDROME MANIPULATION ABUSIVE BEHAVIOR

"I can't move my legs hurt my head is fuzzy where am I"  you felt your headache as someone was bandaging your head obviously they hit you pretty hard but you recognized that hair that Curly blond hair , Dee you looked up very very weakly obviously that knock over the head my did a little more damage than he expected but what did he do when he went to his mom for advice. He looked up checking on if any vital head injuries were in place after wrapping up your head with bandages " that should do it, sorry I had to do that Y/N, you are getting too close to people that work me" he sat down  by you. Everything still hurt you look at him confused everything hurt why does everything hurt before you slowly got up feeling extreme pain in your legs they slowly move the blanket it was heavy so it must have been waited and it revealed that your legs were severely bruised it didn't look like normal bruising after you fell off a bike it look like it was repeatedly hit with a bat you started panicking Dee was still there sitting by you getting annoyed. He continued to sit there, hopefully trying to make you calm down. Nothing was really working so he slowly pulled up a syringe full of weird liquid he held you down not really caring if your legs hurt, putting the syringe in your neck and slowly inserting the weird liquid in your neck. He got off of you finally throwing the syringe away" you left me no choice really could have you leaving could have you panicking you're already injured as is but I'll explain that later" you slowly felt more and more weaker and calm the weighted blanket already going over to you again. You felt more and more like you're about to pass out and go to sleep. "Good night Y/N we will discuss the rules later"

                                                               ………

Dee walked out of his room locking it. It would be a lot harder for anyone to hear since most of the rooms are soundproof due to Heavy's constant practice of guitar. He was getting two plates of food and of course Glam was a bit curious " is your friend here, did you convince them to move in like you want it!" He said smiling like he usually did ".... something like that Dad" he walked back to his room unlocking it with some difficulty holding two plates of food. He walked in settings on the food looking at you. You were obviously still passed out because of the drug and he was considering injecting you with some adrenaline to wake you up. He plays the food down looking at you lovingly even though he didn't smile much he didn't like sharing you he wanted you to himself you brought him a certain type of Joy it wasn't romantic and to be honest he didn't need any moment if he had you you are way too amazing for anyone to share sweet way too kind way to innocence. Dee continued to look at you you were still in affected with the sedative that made you pass out but you were so peaceful when you slept she wished she could watch you forever but in the end he knew that you had to wake up you had to eat you haven't eaten in hours that's for sure you kept you here for  hours he may have overdid it when you first brought you here it was the only thing he could think of before you were walking away. But that was in the past now and you were here you are safe you were his you're his best friend it doesn't really matter now it's not like you could leave you can't leave. You felt yourself be yourself become awake you are so awake you are so awake before you turn to the completely terrified unable to move due to the fact of the weighted blanket holding a syringe hold of something before you could say anything he predicted what you were going to say " it's adrenaline but I'll keep you awake so you can eat …..you will eat" you felt yourself be pinned down the holding a forkful of the delicious looking food you would too panicked and too scared to think anything but to open your mouth and let him feed you his eyes softened a little bit you were actually following orders how nice.

Dee like structure he's a serious man and possibly a megalomaniac I mean it's not anything his second interest is fire his family knew about this predicament but honestly they didn't really care it was more of a situation that they liked you but not in the same way that he liked you it was quite the opposite more the tonic instead of romantic if you know it was good but it won't last long if you escape or try to escape you know punishment will come to you who will punish you with the question but if you continue being good at following orders things might go well

[poltoreveur]

Save Your Tears

Pairing : James Potter x Reader

Summary : James couldn't able to make up his mind whether or not he wants to stay or to run away from the entire relationship. You made the conscious decision to ended it all.

Warning : Angst, Swearing/Cursing, Underage Drinking.

Words count : 2,7k+

A/N : I've been listening to the weeknd all week and I got an idea while listening to this song. Btw, this is actually the THIRD time I tried rewriting this fic, I hate tumblr for not saving. Not read proof. After the second time, I got upset and just winged it.

The gif is mine.

The party was packed with students, all from each of the houses.

They were all laughing and having a great time with one another. Everybody certainly had their own thing and another to talk to ━ some were flirting and others were trying to make small talk with, but then there was James.

He noticed his friends had already have their own company and left the party moments ago.

It left him by himself but it wasn't like it was the first time, that it had ever happened.

James couldn't really remember what they were there for.

It was not like they had a quidditch game, that wouldn't explain the fact that everybody was practically there.

As his thoughts led him nowhere, instead he let his loneliness take charge and whisk him away to the bar, as he finally gotten himself a drink for the first time that night.

But then, he just stood there - with nobody but a cup full of firewhisky in his hand. Despite the drink being the thing he absolutely love, it seem like it couldn't save him this time. Even with his reputation as a drinker, he only had a sip of his drink so far.

As much as he couldn't refuse not going to a party this massive, he still couldn't bring himself to enjoy it.

He didn't wanted to be there.

His enthusiasm already left him body ages ago.

It was replaced with the feeling of heat as he felt his body tensing up. It all came rushing to him when he couldn't find anything else to stare at but you.

I saw you dancing in a crowded room. You look so happy when I'm not with you.

He kept on eyeing you from across the room.

You had came in to the party with your friends, having the time of your life, laughing and joking since the moment you entered the room.

It was the first time he saw you enjoying yourself in quite a while.

Your attention was so easily distracted that you failed to notice his fiery gaze on your back, watching your every movement.

You felt your body suddenly colliding with another on someone's back, you smiled once they turned around to see the seventh grade student that you've been talking to recently.

You've known him for quite a few weeks, when the two of you had ran into each other during one of his study sessions in the library.

He wasn't that terrible looking if you had to admit to yourself, and he certainly was a decent guy at first glance.

And as the time goes, the two of you started hanging around each other much more often.

You didn't really thought of much of the relationship you had with him until there were days he started to flirt with you.

And you couldn't deny it, you absolutely love the attention he was giving in to you. And at times, you would flirt back to him, trying to tease him a little.

As you noticed that your friends had paired up with some of his, you felt his hands reached down to your waist. You didn't mind it as you surely enjoyed it and lean your body back against his.

In a way, you knew that he wasn't really that interested in you. Your mind slowly realize that he probably had some other intentions than just dancing. And you were quickly proven right as you felt his hand slither down your sides again.

Though, you didn't like the idea of being taken advantage of, you certainly didn't objected to the idea of having sex with him for the night.

You let your mind take charge of your body rather than your conscious and it quickly turn heated when you felt him kissing your neck up his way to your jaw.

You couldn't deny it, you were certainly enjoying it.

As you turned around to face him and hooking your arms around his shoulder, you finally saw the eyes that was staring at you from the moment you walked into the party.

But then you saw me, caught you by surprise.

His gaze was still fixated on you, even when you already caught him red handed.

But then you soon came to realize, that you haven't seen his face this clearly for a long time.

It had been a while, it seem like you had almost forgotten how he looked like.

With all your attention suddenly averted to him, from where he had stand, the light from the room slowly showed the broad of his facial structure.

You hadn't realized how much you really do enjoy looking at him.

From where you were standing, the light had seem to bring out of his features than you had noticeably ignored before.

His face was lit only by the beam of light circular in the room. With that, you could see that he was building himself a sharper jawline than before and his face was becoming more structured somehow.

You started to wonder if it had anything to do with the two of you or you really couldn't care less to pay attention even back then at the time you were together.

Ever since the two of you parted in your own ways, you tried your best trying to avoid him at all cost.

Finding the longest way possible to get to class. Making yourself the last person to enter and first person to leave.

Even went out of your way by pushing those people who are ever close with him and avoiding the same crowd altogether.

During the time, you felt more like yourself, having your own crowd and being associated by who you are and not just James Potter's girlfriend.

Cutting off the people that surrounds him was quite easy and relieving to say the least. But his friends, couldn't stand the idea ━ mostly, Remus.

He had kept on insisting and trying to get the two of you back by saying how the we should 'sit down and have a nice conversation together.' Which you had replied by laughing in his face and promptly walking away.

But here you are again.

Finally looking at him, after weeks has passed that you seem to forgotten how his eyes may even look, you didn't know if it was from rage, the heat of the room or looking at you with someone else.

A single teardrop falling from your eye.

"You alright?"

If it wasn't for the boy to speak up, interrupting your thoughts ━ you wouldn't have even noticed the tear that was already rolling down onto your cheeks.

"Oh, yeah, 'm alright."

You look back at him, he was gripping his drink as tight as he can but his face showed a different type of emotions.

It was desperation.

You didn't know from where, and you certainly didn't stop to think if you had cause it because, how could you.

"I need to go for a moment, if you don't mind."

You excuse yourself from the senior you were dancing with, which in that moment, you didn't want to admit that his name got washed away in your mind.

I don't know why I run away.

The breakup wasn't entirely your decisions.

Though it was you who ended things off, it still wasn't your full decision to do so.

And now anger.

Anger was filling up your body from the thought of your relationship with James.

You started to think back to the night of the break up. How much there were lots of screaming and fighting, but funny was that it wasn't from your part.

You were absolutely baffled and disgusted on how you have learned to love someone as a monster like him in this world.

Not even back then you would give a thought to slap him or shout at him or even hit him no matter what anger you were building up.

But this time, you wanted to scream.

You wanted to shout at his face.

Screaming in the top of your lungs and asked him, how. How could he made you feel like that.

To make you feel as if being with you as a struggle, a problem between the choice to stay or just to end the entire relationship off.

But you knew since the moment he told you, that whatever comes next, it wasn't even your choice.

You could've asked me why I broke your heart. You could've told me that you fell apart.

That night, he kept on pushing you, edging you, trying to make you think that he wasn't there to stay. He wasn't gonna be there.

From his choices, from the moment he started to push his ways with you ━ everything that you did that night, is because it was everything he wanted to do but couldn't bring himself to do so.

But that night, it wasn't the only thing that was already handled off without you.

The thing you felt most absolutely disgusted from him was his reaction. It was the only you didn't hope for and the thing that you didn't expected from his was, relived.

The emotion plastered across his face and if someone could truly die out of a broken heart, yours was that moment right there.

You couldn't even stop to question him.

You couldn't bring yourself to ask him, why.

Because even though that question was drumming in your head, that question was already long answered when he is going back and forth between his two options.

To stay or to leave.

Funny how it was the only thing that was running through his mind during the relationship.

You couldn't stay.

Not in the relationship, not at the party.

But you walked past me like I wasn't there. And just pretended like you didn't care.

You knew this awful painful night had to end.

You couldn't stand there with the thought of hurting and breaking in your head while he was glaring at you from across the room.

The tear was already dried up from the moment you started reminiscing back to what you were.

It was quite a while before your body could function properly without breaking down in the near sight of him.

You needed to leave.

Your throat had felt so much more drier than before you were quickly hit with the wave of emotions.

But you held it against yourself.

You told yourself that you couldn't bring yourself to do so, not after the damage he had caused you.

As you tried walking pass him, trying to get to the nearest exit, something stopped you from doing so.

"Please."

You heard his voice called out over the loud sound of the room, the first word you heard from ever since, as you tried quickly walk pass him.

Take me back 'cause I wanna stay.

The question 'why' started going through your mind again. And come to think of it, you knew it was stupid for you to question why he did it.

No matter how and technicality that it was you who broke it off, but it was his conscious idea to make you drive away and leave him.

You still wanted to scream at him.

Out of everything, he made you an option.

Even in the relationship you were almost disposable, easily abandoned in his eyes.

You kept on walking, ignoring his calls for you but of course, your terms of avoidance had to stop sooner or later.

"Fucking Merlin, would you please just stop already."

You didn't, you still kept your pace as you walk pass him and was heading for the door.

"I swear to- fuck. Won't you just stop it?"

"I did, James. I stop it."

"I stop the relationship that you were so confused to even continue or keep fighting for."

You too tired for another argument.

Seeing him tonight was already draining your energy.

But not for James, he surprisingly stunned.

He had never seen you with such anger, even in the relationship or with other people, you never let yourself to implode and scream at them, no matter what mistake they did you wrong.

But every person has their limit. And James coherently proved yours.

"Fucking hell, just- please, just listen."

"What do you want? Wasn't driving me away enough? Do you want me to feel bad as well for your sorrows?"

Her words really did pain him.

But in a way, he knew he deserves it ━ after everything he had made go through.

"But can we just-"

"Fuck James, I don't want to talk about it."

His lips slowly connect with each other again, sealing himself from saying another word.

He let go of your arm that he didn't even knew he was clenching on to and slowly let his hand down.

"You can't do this to me."

She stated as she slowly turn her body to face him.

"You can't make me feel like this and just come running back for me, that's not how this works."

His thoughts of what he wanted to say to you, quickly vanishes from his mind.

The pain.

Is this what you have felt back then?

Forcing you to do something that he could've done on his own but didn't have the guts do it himself.

He was stringing you along the relationship ━ dragging you to this long, unwanted emotional battle with his demons.

He kept on pushing the better part of the relationship, making you think that he would've always stay.

But there was a point where he didn't think that he deserves you. It built up a conscious in him, saying to leave, even though he wants to stay.

I said some things that I should never say. I broke your heart like someone did to mine.

"I can't stand it, and I don't want to listen."

"Why James, why? Couldn't you at-least give me a reason why? It's the best you can do after driving me to absolute madness these few weeks."

"Because-"

"Because?"

"You know the answer, please don't make me say it."

"No."

"I want to hear it ━ say it to me."

"I can't-"

"James Fleamont Potter, you fucking say it right now or, or."

"What?"

You sigh, you know you can't stand this. You couldn't do this anymore. The argument was getting old and the fights now have nothing to meet its goal.

"We need to break up."

And now you won't love me for a second time.

I realize that I'm much too late and you deserve someone better.

"Don't make me do this the second time, please."

You plead as you stare at him.

As he reach back to his conscious, he could see the tears those were starting to form in your eyes.

Though it pains him to see you sad, your eyes were remarkably beautiful with the gloss of tears over it.

"I can't-"

He started, trying to find the ways to stop you from leaving like the first time but he only could mumbled and trip over his own words and he started to get angry at himself this time.

"I can't- I, I- this isn't fair! You can't! Tell you wouldn't do this, please don't, I-"

"James."

You voice sounded softer as you called out to his name and brush your hand on his shoulder.

He look back at you, seeing that the gloss in your eyes have fallen down from your cheeks all the way to the bottom of your jaw.

Save your tears for another day.

He couldn't stand seeing you like this.

'No, no, no.'

As his hand tried to reach for your face, you reluctantly move away and stop him from doing so.

He didn't want you to cry.

All the things that had happen for the last few minutes had been even more harder for him than it has for the last few weeks.

He knew he still loved you a lot, and maybe in a different, you still love him as well.

As you lowered his hand down, pushing it away, you gave him a weak smile before promptly leaving the room.

Even if he did drove you to it, James feels regret for breaking your heart.

When he realizes he made a grave mistake by letting her go, he tried attempting to rekindle the relationship you both once had but there was never a perfect time to do so.

Now, seeing that you're no longer interested in a relationship with him, really broke him.

It wasn't like you weren't hurting either, but it pains him the most that he will never get a chance to find someone who loves him like you did.

Furiously, he finally gulped down the drink he was holding for the past hour.

It burns his throat as he drank it with anger and smashes the glass onto the wall, causing everybody to look over at his direction.

He wishes that you walk back into the room and leap into his arms again like you use to.

But he knew he couldn't wait for something to happen, the universe just doesn't work like that.

Now, it was already way too late.

[wastelandnarry]

Georgia - hes

summary: He never should of told her, never should’ve let her see inside at what was troubling his mind. Now he’s singing Georgia on his mind. 

author’s notes: inspired by Georgia - Vance Joy. I have wanted to write something with this song for the longest time and I thought it matched a Harry scenario perfectly! I hope you guys enjoy!

warnings: mentions of drinking, mentions of food, breakup, angst. 

masterlist || request ||  join my taglist

Harry watched her from the window as she walked through the crowd. His eyes had caught hers once or twice during the night already and he was convinced that he'd lose his mind if it happened again. The party had been a distraction for him, a way to get his mind off of the stress of his upcoming film and maybe even just to let loose for the first time in months. He'd been nursing the drink in his hand, the soft pink liquid in the glass swirling with whatever edible glitter that had been added in. If he was being honest, he'd only grabbed the drink after having watched her grab one for herself and smile to herself when she took a sip. She was electric, the people around her hanging onto every word that left her, something Harry watched from a distance, hoping that eventually the courage would kick in and he'd be able to walk over to her.

She was, after all, his ex-girlfriend. 

Georgia had come into Harry's life all at once and he wasn't too sure how he'd managed to convince her to date him. She was kind and bold, always knowing when to reassure him on the days when his confidence was low. She was giving and had a laugh that Harry could listen to on repeat if it was ever possible. Georgia was something to behold and Harry had somehow managed to be loved by her. Their whirlwind of a relationship had started one night after they'd run into each other for the fifth time at the coffee shop near Harry's studio. He'd been up for an ungodly amount of hours and needed a caffeine kick. He was convinced that he looked more like a mummy than an actual human and just his luck, Georgia had been sitting in her usual seat. 

She'd been typing away on her laptop with the steaming mug of a vanilla latte, the one Harry learned she always got, cooling off next to her. Her eyes had been focused on the screen in front of her, eyebrows furrowed in concentration as Harry thanked his luck that she hadn't spotted how out of it he looked that day. That was until the barista called his name out and her eyes shot up, meeting his in the loud and bustling shop. Her kind smile, the one that Harry would remember long after their occasional run-in, had left Harry breathless as he rushed over to grab his drink. 

"Early morning?" her voice, which Harry decided was the best thing he'd heard all morning, said as she walked past him when she walked past him to throw away the banana peel she'd been holding onto, "You don't usually pop in until much later."

"Oh, so you've noticed me?" Harry asked and chuckled, trying his best to mask his embarrassment as he pulled down the hoodie that had been covering the unruly curls on his head. 

"Hard not to, considering everyone in this place goes quiet the second you walk in here. Which I should thank you for, gives me a moment of peace and clarity," she nodded and chuckled, "Georgia, it's nice to meet you,"

"Harry,"

"Yeah, I assumed."

Waking up most days, the sun was barely peeking out behind the clouds and Harry had always felt the pull his bed gave him. If he didn't rub his eyes and stretched out his back, he could almost hear the mattress whispering, "come back to bed, Harry," which was all he wanted to do. But he was an adult and his latest movie project had called for some very early morning call times. So there Harry was, waking up before the sun even made it's presence known to the world, sliding on some comfy joggers and his favorite hoodie to shield him from the morning cold. 

"Bub," Georgia's tired voice whined out from his bed, "Too early, don't go."

"I'm sorry, bug, I've got to head out soon, shooting early today and tomorrow," Harry sighed, looking over at the lump in the blankets that was his girlfriend, "Go back to bed, yeah?"

"Wanna kiss," she yawned and peeked out from the blankets, her tired eyes meeting Harry's in the dim-lit room. 

Harry smiled, his feet padding against the wood floors as he made his way over to her side of the bed. Harry had asked her if she'd wanted to move in a few weeks before, which had resulted in Harry's place being filled with pieces of her and him mixed in with one another. His hand found a spot on her hip, rubbing a pattern onto the exposed skin as he leaned down to press a kiss onto her lips. He knew it was dangerous. The kisses shared between the two of them usually ended with moans and whimpers being let out into the room and Harry really couldn't afford to be late to filming. But Georgia's soft lips on his pulled him closer into her, and the bed, and he found himself with that same pulling feeling his mattress would give him back when he was alone. 

"Have fun today, yeah?" Georgia breathed out, her forehead resting against Harry's as they both took in one last moment together. 

The drive to the set, which was usually when Harry drove in silence and tried to get into character, was filled with soft music. Harry's fingers tapped against the steering wheel as he hummed along to the playlist his phone had been playing for the past couple of weeks, a mix of his favorites, Georgia's favorites, and songs that reminded them of one another. Harry had been stopped at a red light when a song he'd picked for the playlist started playing, his smile growing as he heard the opening strums of the guitar. 

"...I could easily lose my mind, the way you kiss me will work each time, calling me to come back to bed singing Georgia on my mind..."

Walking back through the front door, something Harry had done more times than he could count, after his tiring day at the studio, he hadn't expected to be met with Georgia dancing around the living room. Music floated through the house; one of Georgia's favorite things about his place, which she'd told him late one night in bed, was how great the acoustics were and how the music just sounded better. Harry watched as her she danced along to the beat of her favorite song, one which had been on repeat for the past two weeks. His heart swelled and his tired body seemed to spring to life as he watched Georgia turn and face him, her eyes wide and filled with innocence at behind caught lost in a moment.

“Harry!” she said excitedly and rushed over to pull him into a tight hug, one that Harry happily returned, “How was it?”

“Was okay, darling, not as entertaining as that dance though,” he teased, his lips finding her forehead, “What a nice show to walk into.”

“Ha. Ha. Very funny,” she mumbled and rolled her eyes, “Are you hungry?”

“Starving.”

Dinner has been filling, the wine shared between Harry and Georgia making them both warm and fuzzy. They’d cleaned up, humming along to the song that was playing from the living room, and before they knew it they were both laying on the couch taking one another in. Harry had found comfort between Georgia’s thighs, his body slotting in between hers as if they were made to be, his lips exploring the softness of her own. Harry could’ve kissed her for the rest of his life if he tried, he might’ve already been doing that. He always seemed to lose track of time whenever Georgia was in his arms and her lips were on his. The wine certainly hadn’t helped, their movements clumsy and slow as the took each other in and explored their bodies together. It wasn’t until he felt Georgia’s hips push up against his, both of them letting out a groan, that he slowly pulled away. His eyes opened to find a view that had been so heavenly to him in the past couple of months since their relationship had started.

“What is it…?” Georgia asked, her chest rising and falling with the panty breathes she was taking.

“You just…you’re breathtaking,” he whispered, his hand coming up to cup the side of her face, “I don’t deserve your love,” he mumbled.

Underneath him, Georgia was the definition of breathtaking. Her eyes were wide and her pupils dilated, taking over him and leaving Harry with goosebumps on his skin, almost as if she was touching him all over and yet not at all. Her lips, which Harry has been attacking not too long ago, were plush and pink, a sheen of their shared spit still covering them. Her hair had been tousled and no longer framed her face while she laid on the couch, it was poking out in different directions and she might’ve called it horrendous at that angle but Harry loved it. He loved everything about Georgia, she was the one who could make him lose his mind.

“Oh please,” Georgia laughed and shook her head, turning to press a soft kiss into Harry’s palm, “I could never and would never want to love anyone else, Harry.”

“Yeah?” he whispered, fear flashing across his face for just a second before it was gone without a trace at the feel of Georgia’s lips on his again, “I love you, bug.”

“I love you more.”

Georgia was leaving. Her business trip would take her away for almost a week, leaving Harry with a pain in his chest that wouldn’t go away no matter how hard he’d try to push it. He walked her through the train station, holding her bag tightly in his hand as they strolled hand in hand towards the platform. Harry’s heart raced as he felt her lips on his for the last time in a while, his throat aching as he watched her board the train and walked out of view until she found a seat near the window where she could wave goodbye. He wasn’t used to this, being the one who would wave off their lover, he was always the one who was leaving. But as the train screeched and sped off, leaving Harry alone on the platform staring at the brick wall ahead of him, he couldn’t believe Georgia had done this for him countless times.

He’s gone back home alone, the passenger seat next to him feeling cold and he found himself pouting when his hand was met with the feel of leather instead of the softness of Georgia’s thigh. He’d stayed by the phone most of the evening, watching for any updates that she might send on her journey to a city far away from Harry. He had no idea how she did this every time Harry had to leave for a tour or for a movie project, she’d only been gone for a few hours and he’d found himself walking aimlessly around the house, waiting for a sign that she was okay. It was horrible, the waiting and the anxiousness that came with it all.

By the fourth day, Harry had realized just how much he’d taken Georgia for granted. He missed her like crazy. He missed the way she always curled up next to him in bed, how her hand always found his in the middle of the night and gave it a squeeze to show him she was still there beside him. He missed her soft voice and how it sounded while she was on a work call and Harry was in his office or reading through a script. He missed the way her arms would wrap around him and how she would hide her face in his chest, leaving kisses on his skin until he laughed and peppered her skin with kisses. By the fourth day of Georgia being gone, he realized just how hard it must’ve been to be with him.

On the fifth day, Harry had called her after one too many drinks and told her how he felt. His slurred voice rambled on about how he never realized how unfair he has been to her and how she deserved a better relationship. He told her all about how he’d felt since she been gone and how he couldn’t imagine feeling like this every other month. He’d rambled on for minutes on end, his drunken truths interrupted only by the sniffles he’d get caught up in before returning to his original point. The one that Georgia had been trying to figure out for the past hours since he’s hung up the phone. The one that had left her in her hotel room, wiping away the tears Harry had brought on.

“I’m not good enough for you,” he’d choked out, “I leave and disappear for weeks on end and you just…you just wait for me to get back. Do you wait with the same hole in your chest that I have? Because I’d never wish this on anyone, bug, it’s horrendous.”

It had all happened too fast, the rambling and the tears and hit Georgia’s ears before she even had time to think of a response. It felt like seconds had passed since she’s answered the call, excited to tell Harry all about her advent ours day in a city she’d never been to, only to have her heartbroken. Then, as if some cruel joke was being played on her, time slowed down. Every ring to Harry’s dragged on and on until his voicemail message was heard and the line went dead. She’d spent the rest of her night listening to the droning sound, hoping that eventually Harry would answer and she could calm him down, show him the truth, and tell him that she loved him. But the phone was never picked up and the pit in Georgia’s stomach was filled with anxiety.

Arriving back at the platform where she had last seen Harry, her eyes searched the massive crowd of people, her nerves rose as she walked out of the station alone. Her cab ride back home had been silent, her fingers playing with the necklace around her neck nervously as she watched the familiar streets pass by her window, hoping that when she got home she’d be met with the sight of her lover. It had been two days since the call with Harry. Two days since she’d heard from him or even got a text back from him. She was used to the silence, it was something that happened sometimes when Harry’s job became bust and chaotic and he lost himself in it all. But this time around things were different and Harry had been promised at least a couple of weeks off to relax and regain who he was. He was meant to be at home with the people he loved.

Georgia was met with an empty house, the sound of her bag hitting the floor echoing throughout the large rooms. She’d walked through the whole place, calling our Harry’s name only to be met with more silence. It wasn’t until she walked into the bedroom and saw the small card on her pillow that the fear in her truly rose. She must’ve sat on the bed and read through the damn note a thousand times, her body too in shock to move and too anxious to accept that he was gone.

“It’s better this way, bug. You deserve someone who can truly love you the way you are meant to be loved. All I do is cause you pain, I’m barely here for you and I couldn’t even handle less than a week without you. I’m sorry, I wish things could’ve ended differently. I will always have you on my mind, Georgia. Love Always, Harry.”

Harry’s voicemail message, one Georgia had gotten to memorize by the number of times she’d had to listen to it, hit her hears again. Her hands curled around the note, wrinkling it and ripping the paper on one side. Her tears streamed down her cheeks as she tried to steady her voice, her mind running a million miles an hour as she tried her best to keep down a sob.

“You left…y-you just left and didn’t even say goodbye to me. You didn’t even give me a good reason, Harry.” she sniffed, her eyes looking around the room that was filled with them both, “I knew what I was getting myself into when we started this. I knew it wasn’t going to be easy and there would be times where I wouldn’t see you for weeks on end. But I also knew that you were everything I wanted.”

Georgia had been warned about Harry when they first started seeing each other. She was told all the rumors about him and plenty of people had tried to scare her away from him and his world. But she knew there was more to him than just a pop star sensation, more to him than the act he put on both off-screen and on. He was kind and gentle and so caring. He was ambitious and inspirational, always wanting the best for himself and those he surrounded himself with. Harry was nothing like what the media portrayed and that had made Georgia fight for them to work.

“I know what your job is like, I knew from the beginning and I stayed, Harry. I stayed because I love you and I want you more than anything I’ve ever wanted,” she whispered and wiped her nose on the sleeve of her sweater, “So please just…just call me back and we can fix this, yeah? I love you,” she sighed and hesitated for a few seconds before hanging up.

Harry, from his hotel room just a few blocks away, listened to the voicemail for hours before his eyes finally closed and he drifted off to sleep.

And then she ran into her at that damn party.

In the short span of the party, Harry had somehow managed to grab her attention and after another sip of the pink drink, they both found themselves walking off to the garden. She’d walked out first, her eyes meeting his while she passed by, almost as if giving Harry a sign to follow her. He’d taken one last sip of his drink, setting the cup down before he followed after her. She looked beautiful in the soft light of the garden, but then again, she always looked beautiful. It wasn’t until Harry’s eyes met hers, which were dull in comparison to the usual emotions they’d held before, that he realized just how much he had missed her presence.

“How have you been?” Harry asked, breaking the silence between them and instantly hating how her shoulders and jaw tensed, “I…I’m sorry about…”

“About leaving me with just a note and a shitty explanation?” Georgia asked, her eyes staring into Harry’s with a new emotion, anger.

“Georgia I…” Harry started, the lump in his throat growing as she shook her head and sighed.

“No, you had your chance to talk,” she frowned, “You has your chance to talk and call or even just text me, and did you? No! All you did was ignore me for four months and now you won’t stop staring at me at this party and it’s just…”

“I love you,” he blurted out, his eyes wide as he waited for her reaction, “I know I messed up but I love you and I haven’t stopped loving you since you spilled chocolate syrup on me during our first sleepover.”

“You can’t just show up after months and expect me to forgive you. You broke my heart, Harry! You left me and I couldn’t even stop you,” she whispered shakily, her eyes meeting his in the moonlight, “I just…I miss you so much and I should hate you. I should hate your guys but I just can’t.”

They talked more after that, both of them too tired from the stress and heartbreak of the past months to put up much of a fight. They talked until the moon was disappearing on the horizon and the music behind them both dimmed until it was just Harry and Georgia's voice floating up into the sky. They talked about everything, the insecurities they’d both had, the challenging parts of their relationship, and even the terrifying parts. They both moved closer to one another as the night went on, leaning into the warmth they both gave off until they had said everything they needed to say.

“Please just…can we try again?” Harry whispered as his hand found Georgia’s, his eyes meeting hers with a pleasing look, “I want to work this out with you, I want us to work.”

“I never wanted you to leave in the first place, Harry,” Georgia whispered, her forehead leaning against his as they both felt a pressure lift off their shoulders. Both finally feeling a little more like themselves for the first time in months.

Harry's personal life changed a lot after that party. He continued to throw himself into his work, leaving his studio from late nights recording and rushing on to the set of his latest movie project. Starring in movies had always been a dream for Harry, he got to immerse himself into a world and a life he'd never lived. It was so surreal whenever he walked on stage in his costume, it all felt like a dream. But his latest dreams in life include a certain someone by his side. They included Georgia, whose warmth and kindness brought Harry a bigger thrill than any of his projects ever could. The months apart had left both of them searching for one another in an ocean of regrets and words unspoken until that night at the party.

It was hard work, especially when he was writing and recording in whatever spare time he had on days after he was done filming, making time for his relationship with the love of his life was something he’d never take for granted again. He’d move planets for Georgia and he knew that she’d do the same for him. And maybe, just maybe, the ring that had been hiding in Harry’s bag would make an appearance in the coming months, to show his lover that he would always sing with Georgia on his mind.

taglist: @hrrypinks​ @matchacal

[nativestarwrites]

Waiting on that morning sun

I also call this one my 'garden fic'. It's already 13700 words which (if I ever finish it) will make it my longest fic. I'm so damn proud of it, even in its unfinished state!

I wanted to explore what would happen if Mac was confronted with the possibility of not being able to be an agent any more in a curtain-esque type fic. So much of Mac's life revolves around his work and I thought to be forced to take a break without knowing he could return would be an interesting story to tell.

Brief summary: Mac is nearly fatally injured on an op and faces a long recovery that ultimately might not result in him being cleared as an agent again. Jack returns while Mac recovers at a safe house and its full of feels, angst, fluff and a painful but cathartic recovery. The garden part is because Mac ends up stumbling across gardening as a form of therapy, and I've put a snip of that section under the cut.

Thanks for the ask!

“Come on, get your shoes on, we’re going outside.”

“What?” Mac pulls a face. “Jack, I’m not going anywhere.”

“I didn’t say we’re going anywhere. Just outside, in the back garden.”

Mac rolls his eyes. Fresh air? That was the latest thing on Jack’s list of ‘what Mac needs’. He thinks about being stubborn. Maybe even claiming his leg is aching but decides the increased concern that would generate isn’t worth the hassle. He’ll get up, go outside and if he decides he wants to come back inside after five minutes then Jack will just have to accept that. Mac grabs his crutches and pulls on his coat and shoes, waiting while Jack crouches to help tie the laces, tight enough that they’ll stay on but loose enough that he can toe them off by himself when he comes back in.

But when he steps outside the back door Jack immediately thrusts a pair of shears at him.

“What are they?” Mac asked taking them out of reflex as he balanced on one crutch.

“The hedge needs cutting back, I figured as you clearly don’t have anything else on your schedule for today, you can help me do it.”

Mac frowned. He was going to be a hindrance more than a help. But Jack’s face looked so eager and hopeful and Mac noticed the pair in hands was brand spanking shiny new, as opposed to the pair in Jack’s hands that held small signs of rust and wear and he realised Jack had gone for a drive specifically get this pair this morning. The hedge didn’t start far from the house and Jack had already set up a stool for Mac to sit on. He’d gone to a lot of effort.

Besides, his arms worked just fine. And Mac realised suddenly, that hacking aggressively at an ugly overgrown hedge sounded incredibly appealing.

They worked in silence, Jack starting at the other end of the hedge to give Mac the semblance of space, although he constantly wandered over to help Mac move the stool along when needed.

By the time Jack stopped him, nudging a cold bottle of water against his elbow along with his pain medication, Mac was exhausted, he’d spent more time standing than sitting and had the start of a blister forming near his thumb. But he also felt calmer. The hacking aggressively at an ugly overgrown hedge had been strangely cathartic.