#and rn im just... looking at myself and thinking can we actually do this without giving ourselves structure

[queencryo]

someone give me advice on making a personal schedule, or perhaps on making a study plan or something

[eproctomaniac]

So this is turning out WAY more romantic and self indulgent than I planned. Lmk what you think cause im 😳 blushing at myself rn.

This level of daydreaming is normal and healthy, right?

Been sitting on some thoughts about a gassy Alex, so I thought id finally share them. This isnt a coherent plot or anything, just my imagination going in roughly chronological order.

Warning! Contains fictional fart imagines about a real person! Dont like? Look away!

Alex is definitely your stereotypical guy when it comes to fart humor. He thinks theyre hilarious, if a bit crass. The key part here being that hes actually *incredibly* shy about his own farts. He hides just how gassy he is unless hes alone, or already been cutting loose with some friendly encouragement.

This is actually the exact scenario in which you first witness his secret gassy talents. A party of some kind, long after 95 percent of the attendees left, leaving only you, him, his closest bros, and maybe their dates. He wouldnt have started the fart jokes, one of the more shameless friends would have gotten everyone else going. After a few minutes of them joking and laughing and pranking eachother ("Fire in the hole!", "Pull my finger!", "Bet you cant do better than this!"), probably some light teasing of him as well trying to convince him to participate, Alex would finally blow the competition away. Literally. His shows of gastrointestinal prowess would be loud, boisterous, and effortless as he sent his friends and the rest of the remnants of the party into hysterics.

Stories would start to flow from his friends of just how insane his farts were all his life. Shocking to all who were there to listen. The time he warded off a bully with nothing but a well timed rip. The time he made his friend's dog yelp and hide for the rest of the birthday party one year. The time he covertly delayed a test in school by making the classroom so noxious the teacher had to go home for the day, giving everyone an extension.

All these stories known only to him and his bestest few friends. And now their dates. And now you. The other dates were doing the typical "Ew!" and "Gross!" while laughing along. You of course, were overjoyed and incredibly aroused that this hunk of a man you met a week ago had such gassy talent hidden away. (Who knew he could make music from both ends?)

The final story doesnt finish however, though only you notice why and how, since youre the only one actually listening and not losing their mind at the simple mention of a fart.

One of his friends starts a new story between fits of laughter, somethign along the lines of: "And-and then.... *laughter* there was this one sleepover where Zane and - *more laughter* Zane and I had the bright idea to try this fucken..... trick we saw on the inter-". Your ears perk up because you know exactly what hes talking about, and so does Alex. You watch as, with a swiftness you havent seen from him before, Alex plants his jeans clad ass directly in the face of his friend, cutting his story off short, and rips the gnarliest most boisterous fart of the night directly in his poor friends face. Everyone is sent into an uproar of laughter once again as Alex and his friend struggle for dominance on the floor, now wrestling like idiots. Alex wins, of course, not without the help of his gym routine and a few more well timed guffs.

Nobody else is privy to what exactly just happened. They dont really care, of course. Alex does however. You can tell because his face is shades of red you didnt think possible to achieve by human skin. You can tell that he knows that you know. He doesnt meet your gaze for the rest of the night, wich admittedly doesn't last long. His friends are out of gas for their little party trick (though Alex isn't, not that he'd admit that). Everyone goes home, and you and your date approach his car together.

(ignore that this isnt at night)

Like a gentleman, he lets you in the car first. He's still blushing. You sit in the passengers side seat alone for a touch longer than youd expect to be normal, though you cant see what could have held him up. He opens the car door and as hes sitting down, a loud, ripping, and wet sound comes out of his ass as he sits.

"Was saving that for the grand finale, but everyone left before we got there. Looks like you get a front row seat." he says, giggling and avoiding eye contact. You giggle along, youre not suddenly above thinking farts are funny just because you also get off to them, though your gaze never leaves him. He gets redder yet and sits in silence for a while.

"I know its only been like a week, so sorry if" he gestures to the house and then to himself "all that was too much. Just got caught in the moment." his smile has faded as you can see the defensive self conciousness take hold of his face.

"Oh not at all." you say to him, never breaking your eye contact or your slight, coy smile. "In fact nothing you did tonight turned me off from you at all."

His face eases, which makes you smile more. You both notice the smell from his last fart for the first time, though only he reacts to it with a laugh, fanning the air, and a slight "Sorry about that."

You go in for the kill. "It actually had the exact opposite effect, I would say." This makes him break out of his embarrasment and helps him make eye extended eye contact with you for the first time in two hours. You see his smile half fade into a look of confusion, as he considers your words. You decide not to spell it out for him yet. He looks you up and down.

He notices how youre leaning towards him over the middle console of his car. He notices how youre still smiling at him like you have been for two hours. He notices how you *didnt* react to the smell he just released into the car not 3 minutes ago. His smile never fades, but you watch as he starts to put the pieces together in his head. You dont think hes completely got a grasp of just how ravenous you can be, but does seem to get that you arent like most people when it comes to farts. His face shows no signs of disgust or disapproval.

It would be him who breaks the trance of being lost in each others eyes. He tests his theory on you with another fart into his car seat. Closing one eye to push harder. This one is smaller, like someone doing a tiny raspberry with their lips. (though you are keenly aware of which pair of lips this one came from). Neither of you react openly to it, confirming his theory. He leans in and kisses you, sweet and tenderly with his hand on your chin. (lets say this is your first?) The kiss goes as long as you both want it to, because it feels right, like butterflies in your stomach, like you both are gonna be seeing much more of each other.

"Lets get you home." he says, sweetly, smiling bigger than youve seen all night.

~~~~~~~~~~

After a while, you two would have been on a few more dates. Very romantic though not too extravagent. Local diners he has childhood memories of, seeing movies that would be dealbreakers for both of you (if he doesnt like rocky horror, throw him out). It's been roughly 2 months of seeing eachother since the party, and no you havent had sex yet (hes a good christian boy, remember?). Neither have there been anymore gassy displays of his talent, outside of the occasional slip up that he jokingly denys, or fart during his sleep after hes passed out during the 20th episode of Hotel Hell (INSANE show btw).

This changes, however, the night he takes you to a bowling alley.

An all night bowling alley with an arcade and a skating ring. Not prohibitively expensive either, which makes how long it took you two to go here a crime, honestly. A triple date with two of his friends you met at The Party™, though they wouldnt be participating in the gassy antics that would ensue.

Skating was first, though you both quickly realized you are shit at skating, making it a hilarious but short lived endeavor. Thankfully no injuries, other than to your ego. You six decide to start bowling. Just enough people to fill an aisle, and just enough people to avoid needing to stand up and sit down so close together to make you want to die. The night was going perfectly and it had barely even started.

Not to mention, Alex was looking *particularly* nice in that outfit. Short sleeves show off his big arms and small tattoos. He had mentioned wanting to crop it himself since he had been growing more comfortable in shorter shirts. You find yourself wishing he had before tonight. Those jeans he was wearing, though, were what was really driving you crazy. You had never seen a pair fit someone *just so perfectly* before, though it wasnt crazy enough to be drawing the attention of everyone in the establishment. It was a perfection that only someone with a habit of oggling at his behind would notice and appreciate. You find yourself wishing his turn was after yours, as everytime he gets up to bowl you end up so distracted you only barely realize its your turn already. How anyone let someone like you in public is beyond you, truly.

You dont think you are alone in this, however, as you noticed that Alex has been looking at you with eyes youve only rarely seen him allow to be obvious. Whether its intentionally obvious, youre not sure. What you are sure of is that you are not the only one who appreciates the outfit you picked out today.

Time for a small tangent: His apprent overwhelming desire is suprising to you. Though you two havent had anything resembling intercourse before, you havent exactly been prude about sex or its related topics either. Neither has there been any sort of agreement, implicit or otherwise, about waiting for marriage for that kind of thing. You and Alex have shared many an intimate detail and moment together; stayed the night with each other, shared a bed, gotten back pimples he cant reach, etc. You were letting these moments come naturally whenever they do. Especially after the interesting undertones of what was essentially your first real date, you wanted him to go at his own pace. (Also considering that you have had a few sexual partners and even shared this information with him, minus the gory details. His omission of any of his has caused suspicion in you that he has not had any.)

The game goes on for a long while like this, considering theres six participants. Eventually it becomes obvious who is going to even have a chance at coming out on top, Alex and his friend Zane, though you are outdoing even your own expectations by coming out in a solid third.

Halfway through the second game, Zane's date had gone to the bathroom and the other couple had went to the food court to get refreshments and another pizza. Zane gets a spare and taunts Alex with his assuredly very macho display of bowling prowess.

The tv screens indicate its now Alex's turn, though at this point nobody needs reminding of the order. He grabs the dark red bowling ball he picked out before the first game, claims he "doesn't even need bowling shoes to do better than you, Zane" and bowls down nine of the pins with a flourish.

"Lets see if you can do at least as good as me then, knuckle head." Zane says, earing a scoff from his friend. You see a single bead of sweat rolls down his forhead, on the side of his face only you would be able to see from your angle, while he waits for his ball to return. Clearly theres something else on his mind.

"Watch and learn, amateur!" he says as he walks up to bowl, rather too swiftly. He loses his footing and falls forward, thankfully not too spectacularly. The fall however was not the problem. A loud, fluttering, and wet fart explodes out of his ass. It goes on for about 5 whole seconds as Alex's face takes on a shade of red you know all too well.

Either Zane doesn't see his face or doesnt care much for public humiliation (he was always more comfortable with these kinds of things) and says, "Yea yea yea, gasbag we are all very impressed with your mastery of the force, now hit the pin!" Alex swiftly dusts himself off and (much more carefully) bowls down the last pin. Hes put on a normal face, but you see right through his facade as he sits back down on the bench mext to you. "You know, Alex," Zane continues, "chemical weapons aren't allowed in bowling."

"Ohh like you would know, Mr. 'I've Read Every Rulebook on Bowling Ever'." your date retorts, his voice unfaltering to everyones ear except yours. "Its your turn, by the way." he says trying to move on from the moment.

When you go up to bowl, you cant help but smell it. Not too horrible, but not ignorable either. Just like that night two months ago. You bowl, completely averagely, and return to a new pizza and drinks brought back to the table. You sit next to Alex who has suffieciently dodged the moment he desperstely didnt want, in public no less. You place a hand on his thigh as he continues previous conversations with the others. You squeeze tight enough to hopefully relay a twofold message. Reassurance, and also desire.

The game ends, Zane taking first, Alex second, and you third. Exactly as you expected. You all decide to try out the arcade. Most of the games are two or one player, meaning you will get more alone time with Alex.

"Sorry about that, earlier." he says, while you are trying a game that seems to be an off brand Galaga, "Im not lactose intolerant necessarily, but pizza kind of always does that to me."

"You know im not bothered by that, sexy." you say taking your full attention away from the game and giving it to him. He blushes again at your boldness and comfort in semi-private public. The game over jingle plays and the game prompts you insert another credit.

"R-right uhm, lets go try out this game!" he manages to stammer.

He leads you to a basketball game on the back wall of the arcade, where most of the older and more dejected games reside. "I'm crazy good at these." he claims.

"Oh really? Cause im dogshit at basketball." He inserts a credit and looks back at you with a coy smile.

"Well then, watch and learn." he says, almost a whisper. The callback to 30 minutes ago giving you slight chills.

He proceeds to play the game perfectly, not that these games would be hard for someone with even a slight grasp of basketball related skills. Swish, swish, swish, over and over for 2 and a half of the 3 minutes he is alloted.

"Ope wait," he says as he squats slightly, not looking at you, focused entirely on the game and winning. A high pitched airy fart is released as he throws another basket. 15 seconds are left. "Waitwaitwait" he bends over and backs his perfect ass onto your hip. He farts for a solid 10 seconds, directly onto you. Rumbly and low and so *long*. He makes one more basket. He made the high score, even with 'wasting' 10 seconds farting on you. A modest amount of tickets are dispensed as he turns around you, beaming his perfect smile. Not a single hue of red to be found.

"See! I told you!" he seems proud of his display of mastery over this silly arcade game, its incredibly adorable. "You didnt doubt me, did you?"

"If I did, you definitely proved me wrong." You arent sure of what else to say. This is the first time hes farted on you, let alone *near* you, completely without inhibition. You don't think youve ever been more attracted to someone. "Any other hidden talents you wanna show me tonight?"

"Oh, plenty." he says with a wink, "Lets check out a few more games first." He gasps, making you jump. "Is that MARIO KART?"

And hes off. Leaving you in his gas cloud, assuming you are already following. You decide to stay put for a second, taking in his smelly work. He was right, pizza sure does something to him. You cant say you aren't a fan though.

You catch up to him a few moments later. You would have lost him if he hadn't stuck his head out of a nearby enclosed booth. "There you are! Get in here, i wanna kick your ass in the best racing game ever made."

He pulls you into the two person booth. Its dark, and completely black on the inside. Very small windows to kind of maybe see the game thats being played from behind, and thick colorful curtains that offer more privacy than you were expecting. The seats are sticky, keeping in line with nearly every surface of this place. You also cant help but notice that it is remarkably soundproofed. The loud and constant sensory overload of the arcade and bowling alleys are significantly muffled in here. Theres also a smell here that you hadn't noticed outside the booth, faint but noticable. He didn't already,,,,, did he?

"I call Mario, hes my main." You ignore the irony of him claiming a 'main' in a casual party game like this, and lock in Yoshi. "Bro Yoshi is so lightweight, youre gonna get knocked around the whole race,"

"Then I simply just won't get hit. Easy" you claim with a comedic level of confidence.

"We'll see about that then," he says with a pause, "Smelly."

"Oh very rich coming from-"

"Im hitting start!" he cuts you off with a shit eating grin. He is going to be the death of you. Tonight if hes not careful.

The course intro plays revealing the ranch level with the cow obstacles. "Wont get hit, right." He says. Something about his demeanor is subtly different now, though you cant place what exactly. You recognize his master plan when the countdown starts.

On 3, you hear "Oh shit, wait" and you turn to look at him, about to say something witty surely.

On 2, he's lifted up the leg that was touching yours and scrunches up his face in full concentration. A rumbly fart vibrates the seat and warms up your thigh.

On 1, he continues, but gives you a knowing looks that makes you melt.

On go, hes done and already gotten a lead on you. He was getting the timing on the start boost the whole time. He was distracting you. He races with a shit eating grin that erases any doubt in your mind. He knows *exactly* what he is doing.

When you finally start participating in the race, a couple seconds in, you almost immediately slam directly into a cow obstacle. "You just wont get hit huh?!" he says to rub salt in the wound in your pride.

"Well its not fair when you-"

"When I what?" he cuts you off, daring you to admit whats going on. Daring you to call this teasing what its is. Not just a hunk of a man playing with his farts in front of his date, but a sexually charged show of acceptance of your kinky desires, and an impressive show of gaseous skill. Like a peacock. But, you know, with farts.

You concede, deciding you rather like his teasing side and dont want to 'pop the bubble' of sexual tension just yet. At least you hope its sexual tension.

"Chemical weapons arent allowed in Mario Kart either, you know. Theres not a whoopie cusion powerup." you carefully probe the boundaries of this little game you seem to be playing together. Not the videogame, the other more exciting game between just you two.

"Well maybe they should add one, then, just for me." he proclaims. A brief grunt, and hes making the bench rumble again. "Though maybe that would just be redundant."

Needless to say, he kicks your ass. He takes 1st and you claim a very solid 6th. You scoot yourself even closer to him and wrap your arms around his middle, starting to take up his own personal space. "Why are you taking your hands off the wheel? Theres 3 more races."

You give him your best 'i need you carnally' eyes, "I'm feeling too distracted to participate, though I wanna see you smash these CPUs that someone decided to put on the hardest difficulty."

"Are you sure? we can always play another game or call it a ni-"

"No." its your turn to cut him off. "I'm really ok being right here with you. I'll let you know if that changes."

A small pause from him, his breathing slightly caught in his throat, "Ok, we dont have to go anywhere. But here, lets get more comfortable."

He leans forward and lifts up off the seat. He gives you that same look he's been saving only for your eyes all night. You realize what hes asking.

"Good idea." you say as you slide under him to let him sit on your lap. Hes not too tall so you can still see comfortably over his shoulder, though he does weigh more than you so its a touch uncomfy. You don't care though, since his ass is sitting directly on your crotch. (Now, if youd like to imagine yourself having a phallus, there is no universe where he wouldn't immediately realize how hard you are.)

Your arms are still wrapped around his waist as he starts the next race with a "You're going down, Toad." Your racer remains stationary at the start, getting hit by shells and other racers every time they drive by. You notice, with your hands in closer proximity than they've ever willfully been to his crotch, hes turned on too. *Incredibly so*. Though his mannerisms rarely show it. He still smashes the competition, small quips and vocalizations from him displaying his immersion in the game. He really doesn't like Toad.

His farts are flowing completely uninhibited now. Now that hes not sitting directly against the hard plastic of the seat, he can let rip without fear of the sound attracting unwanted attention. The attention he *is* getting hes made clear that he very much wants. From your vantage, they are far from silent. Rumbly and low, some squeaky and short. Most are long and would have been so boisterous as to make your grandma blush, if it werent for your nether regions taking and absorbing them. You can feel every blast of wind, every adjusting of his posture, every stomach rumble. The smell is completely unmistakable now. His body, pressed up against your own, starting to sweat slightly from close proximity, nerves, and the rising humidity in the space. Each fart, ripped mercilessly onto your most sensative parts.

Needless to say you didnt notice when he finished the last race (taking first place, obviously). "Hell yea! Eat shit Toad!" he pumps his fist and farts again. "That guys been on my ass all night!" He turns around and notices its your turn to be a blushing mess. His grin tells you the irony was fully intentional. "You ok still?"

You can only muster a smile and a nod, truly at a loss for words in this moment.

"Good, I wanted to adjust something really quick then." He sits up slightly making you realize just how much you were being slightly crushed. He grabs your right hand, the one closest to the curtain, unbuttons his jeans (not touching the zipper) and thrusts your hand down the seat of his pants. His underwear is silky and soft as your hand sinks into the heft of his right ass cheek. You instinctively give it a squeeze and let out a small groan of suprise and pleasure.

"Shhh, careful." he hushes, putting a large and reassuring hand over your mouth. His eye contact is mesmerizing. "Gotta be quieter than that, ok?" Again all you can do is nod, though this time talking isnt much of an option.

"You know, I'm actually loving that you're into this." He said it. You suppose it'd be ridiculous to deny at this point. You're just suprised that its been him taking each step forward into these weird desires of yours so boldly.

"But," he continues, "I want this to be just between me and you, ok?" You notice in this moment that his eyes are dilated, and hes trembling very slightly. He looks like a cat thats about to pounce on his prey. Behind it all, though, you can tell hes scared. Scared and pleading with you. He wants you, *only you*, to know about this part of him.

"So, keep quiet, and enjoy the show. Maybe tonight, we can stay at my place and you can get a taste of just how good at this I am?" His smile tells you that you dont have to say anything. He inserts another game token, and locks in Mario.

Thankfully, nobody else wanted to play Mario Kart that night. Though they'll likely have to fumigate the unit before allowing the public access to it again.

You don't know how many games he played. You didn't care. He was marking his territory on your hand the entire time. Your hand eventually glided from his right cheek to the valley in between. His underwear may as well not exist, though it remains a very important barrier that he has not broken down yet. These barriers are his to show you through, and you to enjoy the anticipation of whats behind them.

You left hand had started to drift under the front of his shirt, and further south. You went slowly, trepidatious that it may be too much for him right now. He only tensed up slightly when you first suggested you wanted to head that direction, giving him pause before saying "Yea, go ahead". He is big, and he is definitely hard. Still, you stayed at the inderwear level, for the same reasons your other hand didn't either.

After who knows how many races, most of which he came on first, you both hear a familiar voice.

"There you guys are!" its Zane, outside the booth. Your left hand quickly shoots up out of the front of his pants, though you have not the time nor the skill to remove your right or button up his jeans in time.

"We were looking for you guys, the place closes in 10 minutes." Zane pokes his head through the curtain on your left side, none the wiser of where your right hand could be. The rest, however is plain to both see and smell. "Jeez man, remind me to never buy you pizza again."

For the briefest of moments your heart is completely still, unsure of what to do. Of course you would get caught what the hell were you both thinking?

Thats as far as your thoughts go before Alex speaks up. "You say that every time we get pizza together, and you still do it."

"Lets get you two lovebirds out of here before gasbag here makes the whole arcade inhospitable. Come on, quit canoodling!" Zanes expression seems knowing, but shows no signs of disgust. You suppose he must be used to Alex's smell by now.

His friend is gone, and Alex slides off of your lap. His eyes are still hungry looking, though his smile is sweet and tender. "Come on, my place has a nice shower." he pauses to consider the forwardness of his words. "I mean, if you would still- if youd like to go home-" You cut him off with a kiss.

"I would love to go back to your place, unless you think I smell to bad?"

He kisses you again, his confidence returned. "No I dont think so, but you should probably wash your hand." he chuckles as he leaves the booth. You sniff your hand and realize what he meant. Thats the closest your face has ever been to his ass. Your arousal returns with a vengance, and you hope thats not where tonight ends.

~~~~~~~~~~

Everyone is piled into Zanes car. You all decided to carpool since gas is expensive as hell and Zane has a big ass car. He asks you to resend your address to his phone, to which you inform him that you will be staying at Alex's tonight. "Oh, ok, easier for me." he says, his voice revealing nothing. Though his eyes through the rearview mirror almost seam to say "Yea I figured."

The drive is quiet and uneventful. Everyone is likely tired from a long day, though you are wound up like a spring. Alex is holding your hand, your right hand specifically, maintining its warmth. If either of you smell like Alex's butt still, nobody mentions it.

(again, imagin its nighttime)

His apartment is clean and spacious, and his neighbors recently moved out. Of course, its definitely a bit of a bachelor pad. You can tell he doesnt get visitors often. Its not dirty, just untidy. You suspect he didnt plan on taking you home with him tonight.

He makes no mention of you needing a shower when you walk in. "Gimme just a sec, be right back." he says as he makes a swift, but not urgent beeline to his bedroom.

It isn't often you find yourself in his apartment. if theres going to be an overnight stay for either of you, its usually him staying at yours. The livingroom has large windows letting in a lot of natural light, which gives the room a completely different feel than you're used to.

You also notice how his kitchen isn't very tidy either, though its far from the barebones kitchen units youd expect from a single man his age. He mentioned once or twice that he "dabbles" in cooking, and you now see what he means. Unorganized, cabinet doors left open, strange organization habits. You cant help but look inside as you walk up to close the cabinet doors yourself. You find that ingredient and spice organization is clearly not his strong suit. Bags of popcorn stored next to a three quarters full bag of rice. Cans of soup next to a packet of,,,, is that a packet of yeast? Somehow he has two bottles of different brand olive oil in two different cabinets accross each other. Both opened and half empty.

Before you can wonder how he managed to accomplish that, his voice from the room snaps you back to the excitement of the night.

"Hey! Come here real quick!" he half yells from his room.

As you enter, you are beholden to a very welcome sight. Alex is naked from the waist up, standing between the end of his bed and his mirror, holding his phone up to take a picture of himself.

"Forgot to make a post today." oh right, his job. You watch as he finds an angle that frames his chest, arms, and behind perfectly to his liking. Just slutty enough for his (and your) tastes. He makes a cute little face, almost a smoulder, and you hear as he rips an absolutely thunderous and titanic fart as he holds the pose. It goes on for several seconds, leaving you stunned in silence the entire time. At the end of the 12 second long emission, he snaps the picture. "Perfect, I'll just schedule that to post tomorrow morning."

He looks back at you, feigning ignorance with that cute smile he loves to pull. "What?"

"Really?" you ask, putting on a facade of your own, making his face go red again.

"What?!" he half whines, putting on an almost pouty face as he turns away to write a caption.

You walk up and place a hand firmly on his ass, grabbing longingly, wanting to do a little boundary pushing of your own. "You tell me what." you tease, leaning in for a kiss.

Before you connect, he farts again, right into your palm, as he has already done so many times tonight. He turns away from your kiss and goes to lay face down on the bed. As he turns, you catch a glimpse of red on his cheeks.

Worried you went too far, you sit next to him on the bed. You touch his arm gently, "You know, if it's all too much, we don't have to do anything. I know whe havent really talked about.... *those* kind of boundaries before." It's true, not out of anything intentional from either of you, it just never came up in conversation. You like his gentlemanly, almost chivalrous persona he puts on in public. Though you were always dissapointed that he never seemed to be comfy enough to fully drop it.

"No it's not-" he starts talking into the pillow, cutting himself off and sighing deeply. You watch as his muscles relax, and he turns to look at you directly. "It isn't that I don't want to. It's just..." You don't interject, letting him collect his thoughts. "It was always a thing with me and my friends. And it was hilarious. And we loved it. But at some point it was, different for me."

You feel heat in the back of your neck as you already know what hes about to describe.

"It never stopped being funny, but they all seemed to grow out of it more. Believe it or not. But I never did, I still wanted to joke around like that. And then I noticed that I wasn't even really laughing at it anymore, but I still wanted to-"

You place a finger on his lips. Your right hand. You make deep, serious eye contact with him before you say, "I know." In that moment you watch him go through every emotion available to him, before landing on understanding. His eyes dialate again and turn slightly pleading, like a dog begging for something they dont fully understand. You both realize just how close you've cuddled together on the bed, and you both remember what you were doing in a Mario Kart booth 30 minutes ago. What he was doing with that hand you are currently holding to his lips.

The moment breaks and hes on top of you. Kissing you wildly and hungrily. Grasping and reaching for something, any part of you to hold onto. Your hands instinctively went to his ass. Kneading them through his jeans like dough. He has just awakened a beast that lives inside of you both, and it demands a feast.

Your shirt came off at some point during the eating of each others faces. You notice this only when he breaks free and leans backward, beginning to tower over you in all his shirtless glory. His pants putton is still undone and his fly is doing its best. His stomach rumbles slightly, just audible enough for you both to hear it and for him to give you a knowing smirk.

"Wait," he says, as if violently pulling the pair of beasts back by their leash, "I don't really...." a pause "know what I'm doing." Before you can say your reassurances, he says, "Oh no I've had sex before, just nothing worth writing home about. I guess I know why, now."

A brief moment of introspection from him, before continuing, "I was going to say, that ive never done anything like this," he gestures down at where your still clothed privates are rubbing against eachother, "So, I'm going to just wing it, and I want you to trust me like I trust you, ok? If theres anything you're not comfy with, let me know and I'll stop immediately."

You nod, a little too frantically. "The same goes to you. I've dabbled in this, but you havent. Take it at your pace, ok?"

Through his eyes you watch his heart melt in real time. "Ok." is all he says before hes lifting up and removing his jeans.

You help him, sensually touching his thighs in places youve never explored before, and as fast as he got up hes back down on top of you as before. You feel the weight of his heavy balls through his white Calvin Klein briefs (he always had expensive taste in clothes. underwear too, apparently). His two large globes of an ass sitting directly on your privates. You haven't forgotten what its capable of.

"I did say I was gonna show you my talents tonight." He says, the red on his face from arousal, not embarrassment. "So I have something to confess to you."

Your inquisitive look speaks for you, and he continues, "That party, couple months ago, when i cut off Gabe from telling that story about me? Well I wanna tell you it now." He notices how both your face and your nethers react to this. "I also want to show you."

He lifts a leg over you, and starts to turn around as he tells his story. "You see, I made Gabe shut up at the party because I specifically requested that none of them talk about that night. You know, scouts honor or something to that effect." His bulbous ass is now front and center in your vision. "It wasn't traumatic or anything, just not a side of myself I wanted widely known. You know with my career and all. Also wouldve made it hard to get dates." You were hoping he knew how much him taking his time was driving you crazy.

"Well, that internet trick Gabe mentioned, was a trick to fart whenever you want." Thats the first time hes said the word 'Fart' in front of you. "We all learned how to do it, and it was an insanely hilarious night. Though I honestly blew the competition out of the park."

His hands were down the back of his underwear now. His knees spread apart slightly, and he goes face down, ass up on the bed in front of you. "Which im sure isn't a suprise to you." He pulls his cheeks apart slightly and sucks in his gut in an odd way. You hear a loud and deep wooshing sound as you understand what he just did.

He looks over his shoulder at you. "I hope you appreciate my skills as much as they did that night." A loud and boisterous fart explodes out of his ass. Its sound is like a stock sound effect for a fake fart in TV shows or movies, but this one is *oh so real*. You watch as his underwear literally flutters from the force of it. You can't take it anymore and dive right into his cheeks, muffling it halfway. Your arms wrap around his waist and your hand stops right on his member, honestly completely unintentionally.

He laughs, a genuine laugh charged with sexual gratitude and just a hint of cockyness. His next words send a chill down your spine. "You want me to take off my underwear?"

You dont answer, instead removing them for him. He exclaims suprise, and releases a short fart to allevate any anxieties you may hold. His ass is beautiful. Covered in thin and short blonde hairs only visible from this distance, with a deeper jungle in his crack. His cheeks are bubbly, but also toned, revealing his trips to the gym aren't fruitless. You run your hands over them gently but firmly, barely revealing the sloghtest glimpse of his hole that hides behind all that perfection.

"Wait wait wait, take this one." he says straining. he bends forward slightly, revealing more of his hole and his balls hanging down under it. The fart he releases is blustery, deep, and sends a shiver down your spine with its musky, but not overpowering smell. He may be farting on command, but he was still gassy before he started. The fart lasts at least 20 seconds, or was it only 5? Its difficult to count when youre in such ecstacy. He laughs at his fart again, sending even more chills to your junk.

"I'm so glad I'm not rhe only one enjoying this." As he says this, your grasping right hand has found his erect member, and has started stroking it slowly. He is rather girthy, and long. Lucky you.

"Oh fuck hold on-" he releases another fart. This time your nose finds his hole like its laser guided, your mouth begining to lick and pleasure his sack. This fart is high pitched and squeaky, though as you stroke him he bends forward into the pleasure, causing it to become lower and airier.

With your left you begin to pleasure yourself, frantically and more sloppy than you typically do. Alex is fully bent over now, squirming and moaning cutely under your touch.

"O-Oh fuck, I, I'm-" he rips a small, but very loud fart right on your nose. His hole pulses and squirms agaisnt your nose, as your vision is overtaken by his massive ass cheeks.

"H-Here." he says, stammering. His gut flexes in that odd way once again, and he sucks in more air to his anus right against your face. His hand reaches back and grabs the back of your head, puching you deeper into his cheeks. "Wouldn't want you to miss this."

He releases a barrage of farts, one after the other, right onto your nose as he moans and groans and grunts your name out loud. He doesn't stop holding you in his ass, he doesn't want you to miss a single second of this, not that youd want to anyways. The gas is unending, its almost overwhelming. You however, were made for this. Your face sits so perfectly between his cheeks, nobody else is as perfect to be taking all his farts right now.

Your pumling on his dick speeds up. He tenses and farts another ripper that you sniff with gusto. His breathing quickens. Hes needing to catch his breath between pushes to rip more on your face. He can feel how ravenous you are for more in the way your mouth and tongue lap hungrily at his balls. He refuses to dissapoint, and never does.

He starts releasing smaller, quick ones in rapid succession now. Your pumps, licks, and sniffs start to sync up with his rips. Youre both getting louder, his moans approaching climax. You cant vocalize as your mouth is full of his balls. "I'm- It's -Ah!"

The finale, he farts right into your nostrils as you both cum in unison. Making a horrible mess of his crumpled up sheets. Not to mention the sweat and the smell that will have to come out in the wash. Neither of you move from your positions immediately. Though he is the first to get up. He removes the soiled top sheet and doesnt replace it before laying in bed next to you.

He grasps you tightly in his arms, and pulls you under the covers with him. Still naked and sweaty and smelly. Neither of you care. Youve never been held so tight before.

Your hands rest comfortably cupping his ass. You fit like a glove together. "Ooop wait." he rips a fart directly into your cupped hands. A moment of silence before "I'm not gonna stop all night, you know."

You kiss him on the forehead. "I know. Its hot." He smiles contentedly into your chest, and farts again.

[annie-ave]

t.w. sexual coercion/sexual content

for the TRA's stalking my blog rn)

i actually have slept with a transwoman before y'know.

it was summer after i got out of highschool, i was on dating apps screwing around trying to forget the female best friend i was in love with, hooking up with random men who were six years older than me in random parking lots. damaging myself emotionally basically, because that's what everyone else was doing.

it was consensual sex, although she did insist on not using a condom bc she "couldn't get me pregnant".

I found out later that the relatively short time she'd been on cross sex hormones meant she could, in fact, get me pregnant. I paid for the emergency contraception myself without even asking (even though i was broke af and had just been kicked out by my parents for fucking women) because I didn't want to risk hurting her feelings on her sex and causing dysphoria.

I was 18 and a massive TRA who cared about everyone's comfort but my own.

For years afterwards, i let her talk down to me about how i'm more clocky than she is as a teenager transitioner, what with my hairy arms, PCOS stubble, and stocky shoulders.

It bruised me a bit then, but I prided myself on being a good ally. I shut my mouth because I'd learned from all my liberal feminist instagram activism pages that trans women were the most vulnerable of ALL women, and that they needed to be protected.

Socialized female in a Catholic home with a stay-at-home mother who left a six-figure salary to stay at home and raise my dads children so he could further his career, i'd been brought up to believe that self-sacrifice in women is a heavenly-endowed virtue.

As an annoying lefty from a really early age (still am despite the amount of ppl who want to insist im not a socialist bc i dont believe female people have a dick and balls), I always really LOVED the self-sacrificial aspect of modern activism.

The idea that I could be alleviating some woman's pain by taking on some of it as mine, even if it meant biting my tongue, was legitimately appealing especially because i'd been brought up to believe this was a woman's role.

This transwoman regularly posted online about her extensive drug use and wanting to kill herself so she could be reborn as a woman (even AFTER bottom surgery). I sent her long voicemails consoling her, trying to convince her she looked perfectly feminine on the outside. More feminine than ME certainly!!

And I wasn't lying. She does, she's stunning. When I was a TRA I'd pull up her photos at the dinner table to show my parents how feminine she was.

"Can you really say she's a MAN!" I'd shout, perfectly unaware of the misogyny inherent in assuming "looking feminine" defines womanhood.

I'd find that out for when we attended a sex party together (I went wild and hedonistic after leaving my Catholic household for undergrad, and many of these stories are regrettable but instructive).

I attended with my lover at the time, a sweet butch who was nonbinary herself. there was already a little tension in her attendance. The transwoman i'd slept with confessed, as if this was some horrid secret, that she'd matched with my lover on tinder and was almost convinced she didnt want to slep with her her becasue she was a transwoman.

I knew for a fact my lover had was a lesbian who had trauma with dicks. I also thought it would have been perfectly alright if she just didn't want dick. I had an embryonic idea that it was pretty misogynistic gay men weren't expected to want vagina to the same extent.

But i didn't want to think about that. I KNEW genital preferences were a "TERF dogwhistle".

So when she started pouting at the party after being rejected by my lover. for the second time (talkig sadly to me about how my lover didnt even want to KISS her, and that kissing had nothing to do with her dick and how it was so sooooooo horribly unfair that she didn't have a vagina of her very own) I did feel bad for her. I did see she was in pain. I didn't want her to be in pain. I didn't want my lover to be pilloried for transphobia.

when she asked me if i'd kiss her instead, it didn't seem like a hard decision to let her, even though I had zero sexual interest in her after our first encounter.

i didn't say no- I let her grope me a bit without asking, and consented to touching her chest in return. I did refuse to go further.

it didn't matter. she accused my lover of being a TERF the next day. my lover who also identified as trans.

I still visited her in L.A. after her bottom surgery. This was when I was halfway through discovering radical feminism, and still feeling like a bigot for thinking that the research on children transitioning was actually pretty low quality. I internalized what all my friends told me about TERFS, but I'd also accepted I agreed with radfems. I confided in my partner about how evil I was, convinced i'd be single afterwards. My partner told me I would be ok, as long as I didn't start speaking up about it. how really everyone kind of had these feelings and its most important we let people make their own choices. So i decided to bite my tongue some more. and then she asked me to come see her in L.A.

When I saw her she was still in a lot of pain, especially when dilating (but very happy with her results on the whole). She wasn't well enough to go get food with me so I held her hand and got her water while she lay in her hotel room bed.

I've also seen her since I peaked fully, and despite what some of you might think, no dear reader I did not decide to be awful to her about her transition for no reason, use the "wrong" pronouns, say she looked manly (she doesn't), or tell her I was a radfem.

I didn't see a reason too.

Some part of me didn't want to hurt her, but it was also a pragmatic decision given the kind of online reach she has.

We happened to both be in the same city on vacation so we met for dinner. She regaled me with stories of the sex parties she's been participating in since I left for grad school, complaining that at a recent one only 4/10 of the girls there wanted to sleep with her even though she HAS a vagina now!

she didn't seem to think about the possibility that "a vagina" is not the sole determinant of whether a lesbian would want to sleep with you or not. i see her posting on instagram sometimes about how that hoagie murdereress is a victim of state violence.

i do still reach out to her when i see her struggling. i'm not heartless, but i fully confess to feeling differently when I see her featured as a transitioning success story in the news.

We come from a conservative state originally, and she really likes the camera.

i realize that at this point she can't go back even if she wanted too, and like many (if not most!) radfems i dont support banning HRT for adults partially because I worry about the health impacts of people who have gotten so many surgeries that their bodies physically are unable to create their natal hormones.

I don't want anyone to be hurt no matter how much you think I do. But I no longer believe that means I have to stay quiet and prostrate myself to the idea that humans can change sex.

and I want every female person reading this to know, you do NOT have to sleep with anyone you don't enthusiastically want to sleep with. Self sacrifice in women is NOT a unilateral virtue.

[star-girl69]

hi everyone! this is so lazy but pls enjoy 🫶🫶

warnings: swearing and also slight freaky stuff 😣

you: good morning my sweet girlfriend

kk: wtf

kk: why r u not in my bed??

you: babe… i told u i had to leave early this morning bc i had an appt

kk: for what?

you: getting my nails done

kk: u abandoned me to get ur nails done?

you: yes…?

you: i don’t think i appreciate this attitude maybe i’ll just go back to my dorm

kk: please come back to my place.

you: say pretty please with sprinkles on top

kk: y/n

you: ok see u tmrw then

kk: pretty please with sprinkles on top.

you: ofc i will come back to urs 🥰

kk: 🙄

you: attitude????

kk: no ily

you: aww i love u too!

—-

you: can u plz drive me to my friend’s birthday dinner on friday and pick me up

kk: what times

you: drop me off at 6 pick me up at 9

kk: ok no problem

you: thank u ily

you: i would carpool w my friend serena but i don’t trust her in a car

you: she runs red lights a lot lol

kk: ??? plz don’t ever get into a car with her. i will drive u always

you: aww ur so sweet! not wanting me to die 🥰

kk: anything for my passenger princess

—-

you: CAROLINE ROSE HARVEY

kk: im sorry

kk: i’m so sorry

kk: i’ll make it up to you i promise im so sorry

…

laila: what did you do to kk 😭😭

laila: she’s staring at her phone in horror and when i asked her what was wrong she just said y/n before putting her head in her hands

you: i’m letting her sit in fear for a minute

laila: i admire you a lot ❤️

…

you: so i wake up this morning

kk: yes and u looked so pretty when i left

you: thank u

you: anyways and i then go about my day and i’m ready to run out and do my errands i look at myself in the mirror

kk: and u saw how beautiful u r?

you: yes and also i saw a GAINT FUCKING HICKEY ON MY NECK

you: SEVERAL OF THEM ACTUALLY

kk: do u really want me to say sorry for that

you: yes??? i need so much makeup to cover this up. actually i think u should buy new concealer for me

kk: as long as i can do it again

you: no this is so embarrassing

kk: it’s ok you’ll be saying different later

kk: besides u were encouraging me last night

you: ur delusional i’ve never done that

kk: if u say so babe but we both know

you: *link to new concealer*

kk: just bought 2 prepare to use them up

you: no

kk: yessss

you: no

kk: 😉

you: die

kk: ❤️

—-

you: i’m really craving chick fil a

kk: ok

you: i’m REALLY craving chick fil a

kk: u mentioned that

you: bye u don’t care abt me

you: gonna go text my other hoes

kk: u don’t have other hoes

you: im about to

kk: we’ll see

you: PLEASE GET ME CHICK FIL A

you: PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE

kk: thought u were texting other hoes?

you: i lied ur my only hoe and ilysm

you: plz get me chick fil a

you: i’ll do a cartwheel on it

kk: ???

kk: babe i’ll get u chick fil a

kk: thanks tho? i think

you: YAYYYY

—-

kk: i know ur asleep right now and i know u r very tired and i’m sorry but i forgot my helmet can u pls bring it to me at the rink

you: how did u forget ur helmet

you: like it weighs 10 pounds and it’s huge

kk: mean

kk: and idk i’m stupid plz bring it

you: ugh fine i’m On my way!

you: omw.

you: im not excited

kk: i love u so much u r the light of my life i cannot imagine waking up without ur beautiful face next to me u are brighter than the sun and i love u

you: thank u shakespeare ur so romantic

you: can we go shopping tmrw and u pay i need new pants

kk: u don’t need pants

you: it’s 9am

kk: yes we can go shopping tmrw

you: love u!

kk: ❤️

—-

you: hi

you: are u doing anything tn?? i feel like we haven’t seen each other in forever

kk: i know baby i miss u

kk: i have practice until 8 but u can come over still after? sleepover?

you: yes definitely i’ll be there

kk: i cant wait to see u pretty girl

—-

you: omg this restaurant looks so good we should go

kk: sunday at 6?

you: um yes i’m free

kk: just made a reservation

you: damn 😭 i’m impressed

kk: whatever my girl wants she gets 🤷‍♀️

—-

you: hi baby

…

you: so what position u got her in rn?

you: missionary? cowgirl?

kk: why do i love u

you: blocked

kk: i have no girls in no positions except for u

you: why are u so busy then?

kk: picked up this new hobby called hockey idk if it will go anywhere

kk: been at the gym for an hour about to go hit the rink

you: send workout pics 😜

—-

kk: hiiiiiiiiii

you: hi babe

kk: tone down that attitude plz

you: ?

kk: actually

kk: turn around show me that ass

you: are u drunk rn

kk: maybe

kk: you have an amazing ass do i tell u that enough

kk: i should tell u more

kk: i love ur ass

you: thank u…

you: do u need to be picked up?

kk: no laila is dd

kk: wanted to talk to my pretty girl

you: u sure know how to make a girl blush

kk: only u babe

kk: i like ur boobs too

you: oh my god pls hand the phone to laila

kk: this is laila don’t worry we’re going home rn

you: laila ur a goddess thank u

kk: i try ❤️❤️

—-

[worstdisastermaster]

HAPPY GAY MONTH YALL

Aight i made a subtle aroace flag for myself while watching movies with my grandparents and if u all want u can use it too. U can use it if u like it or if, like me, its not safe to be openly gay at ur house :(

Oh also if u think someone would notice the little blatant sunset flag colors in the corner i added to make it more obvi that its inspired by the flag heres a version without it so its more subtle!!!

As far as i can tell u can use the sunset aroace flag even if u arent sure where u r on the spectrum yet so im using it for me as a ‘aspec somehow ?’ flag cuz idk where i am on the spectrum rn and i dont have the free time to figure it out,,, sooooooo. Ur welcome to use this if u arent sure!!! Cuz i made it and i said so >:)

Soooo i made it based on the sunset aroace flag (duh haha) and i tried to do the same thing last year with traditional materials and it didnt turn out well HAHAHAH but we tried again this year and it turned out sooo much better imo!! I decided on a fox standing on the snow for a lot of reasons but mainly bc i saw this one thing earlier this week and it made me laugh,,,,

so. A fox. Yes. Also I like foxes. (Almost a year ago my idea was "omg aceflag but UNICORN bc the whole virginity thjng- and then I remembered virginity is a concept meant to control women and also has no real importance to someone being aspec and if i made a flag based on that it would actually be quite aphobic so im glad i got sleep and was able tk THIBK AB IT befire j made it 💀😭) oh and also my dog looks like a fox (shiba inuuuuuu) and she hates everybody ecept me so. and then butterflies bc change and all blah blah blah (cuz like. Demis and also people who aren't sure but feel one way at one stage and may feel dif later and and and- lots of thoughts not enough brain rn HAHAH but I hope u get the gist?) but also i didnt want to do like. A parrot. And i had a reason for not drawing a corvid i swear i just dont remember them HAHAAHHA (mayhaps next year i will do it anyway..) and crocuses!! And uh. Symbolism and all that jazz. If i had smth else i forgot im tired :( i have the WORST habit of only posting when sleep deprived whyyy

ANYWAY i apologize if anything is wrong or offensive in my flag its just supposed to be a silly thing I made yesterday and forgot to post that I made for myself but wondered if anyone else wojld want so. Please forgive me if I managed to do something stupid I know things get pretty heated up sometimes ab gay stuff and my intention was just to have something to celebrate a part of myself thag I can't trust with any of my family or even talk ab at school so :( pretty please no hate? Just tell me if I did smth stupid I mess up a lot but I'm doing my best I swear :((

anYways. Heres my subtle gay flag for my first gay month celebraiton!!! I hope yall like it :)

(ALSO HOW COME NO ONE TOLD ME ACEWEEK WAS A THING. WHAT THE HECK YALL I WOULD HAVE WRITTEN OR DRAWN SMTH GOOD FOR THAT RAHHHHH ugh ill just have to be on the lookout fo rit next year. grr.)

ANYWAY gn yall my summer course starts tomorrow :((((((

(2 more prompts yall. That's only 2000 words [...+. gonna be honest prob more] but ILL GET IT DONE SOON I SWEAR RAHH WORKING ON THE SECOND TK LAST DAY HALF TODAY HALF TOMORROW AND THE LAST HOPEFULLY SOON TOO IMMA FINISH TOAPRIL RAHHHHH)

[fictionfixations]

book 7 part 9 spoilers

i usually play immediately after it drops but i was sleepy lmao so im up like 4 hours after it drops (or it mightve been earlier i forget how long it takes when theres maintenance i just remember normally it resets at 2 am for me)

also is it just me or are we getting book 7 updates faster (no wonder considering jp FINISHED BOOK 7 LMAO)

LMAO VIL

vil acting anything less then composed always catches me off guard a little

wait

can idia's tablet be broken??? what happens then? does ortho have like another one he can take out or idia doing some dream technology magic whatever and makes another reappear ????

dude i should just stop pausing and continue he literally says the line after that he can give his tablet infinite lives because its a dream (where you imagine shit to life)

it just occured to me that the school uniforms are black and black tends to hold heat more so like oh dear

KALIM

...can ortho have water ????

oh well i guess we'll see because kalim just used his signature spell sobb

ortho seems fine? can he drink and eat?? im like pretty sure he cant is it just that the cold water touching the outside is helping cool him down?

vil: can you put it in a cup kalim: *gets distracted and doesnt, talking about something else*

i was curious if kalim could do it smaller scale and with more precision but i guess we'll never know...

i find it interesting how the villain and hero's stories are separated so they do still exist in those stories just not with the same identity, so that both versions get admired and like have their happy ending or something

JAMIL

i still find it endlessly funny how at first we think oh shit is jamil gonna be mean and then hes like nah

parallel to i think back when we meet kalim (in scarabia's book) and we think ahh he must be awful and then no he happy cheery boy

'jamil?' 💀

?? BATTLE???

best friend... 😭 they make me so sad man

on one hand hehaha goofy funny jamils so out of character

on the other hand if i think too hard on this i might actually cry LMAO

people talk about having a second stomach for desserts but dude ive never had that 😭 then again desserts arent really up there as my favorites so shrug

why are we talking to kalim about how jamil ls really like while JAMIL IS RIGHT THERE 💀 i mean no actual good guard would let these strangers be with kalim alone but like at least do it without jamil RIGHT THERE

NO

ah fuck we've gotten on the wrong side of jamil

guys.....

GUH

STREET RATS???

im sure thats a reference to the movie but damn wth

the fights not hard im just anxious every time because what if its malleus (but i KNOW its not malleus ive seen jp)

ah god why fight back to back nooo

also considering book 6 fights im really expecting book 7 fights to be so hard

IM GONNA PERSONAA MYSELF

'You're my best friend, right? You wouldn't betray me, right?'

this gives me same vibes as when like kailm was like hey.. jamil. you wouldnt right? i was just blacking out as usual getting distracted and stuff right?? and hes like

in denial

and like desperately hoping for an excuse like. like its all my fault right? not yours? right? because you cant. you cant have betrayed me. we're friends, arent we?

its so out of the realm of possibility for him

and then it happened and i jujsthusfid

crazy that the dream guards are okay with jamil using his signature spell on kalim but it is a dream so like well fine darkness can take creative liberties to make sure he keeps dreaming

oh shit it just occurred to me i should be taking screenshots

oopsie

theres just not a lot of moments that occur to me to screenshot i just yap about it

taking a screenshot rn so you can see how they look

oh no sweetie

(i actually cant recall at what point his groovy would fit best in but it still sad)

i know its soul crushing of like ignihyde of oh fuck orthos dead or like oh no malleus

but scarabia is like a weak spot straight to my heart dude i love kalim so much THIS HURTS

i think im mostly over the laughing every time they say 'dreamy magical makeover'

although maybe more that its just the same group now, vil's good enough at magic he doesnt need to say it

this month we're getting fairy gala remix right? isnt the remix the one where kalims actually like uhh actually i need some time to consider this (because jamil keeps telling him to say that instead of immediately accepting) LMAO

wonder if they ever detect for a moment why are there two [of one student] because of like the dummy data and the actual student before they go diving like ??

or maybe its like a i know youre doing this stuff but i bet you wont get anywhere, what are you trying to accomplish by waking everyone up? they will still be stuck in this dream world

the time they split up and its because they already know who the dreamer is so they dont need silver right there to identify them

valid theres only two members of the dorm lmao and we already have kalim

😭😭😭😭😭

ah.....

the role reversal is CRAZY

i find it unfortunate there havent been cards of the overblotters outfits in their dreams so far. like dude there are genuinely some really cool ones i want

like i mean i get jamil cause his outfit is very similar to kalim's if recolored but there are other unique ones that are so prettyyy

NOT THE TEXT BOX CUTTING OFF THE SCREEN

'i have a mister and water prepared'

whats a mister

oh wait. like a mist-er ????

i was just so confused like what mister as in the honorific??

i love you kalim but im gonna be honest

jamil i dont know what you were expecting making kalim be the one who did stuff for you hes not even half as competent as you are in what you do 😭😭😭and thats fine he excels at other stuff but so i dont really think hes good at being in your shoes. like at all

i think it might turn out worse actually

SHABBY ATTIRE??? whats with jamil flaming the school uniform? like i mean the first one was a dream but like JEEZ

street rats then shabby attire......

jamil you really need to get your speaking your thoughts out loud to not happen anymore

LMAO

i know its like so role reversal dream where kalim is the servant instead but seriously like what is kalim in the dream suddenly good at that kind of stuff?

i wonder, if given the chance to be taught, kalim would be able to do those kinds of things (im sure hed be more than happy to do work thats usually done by servants, i just question the quality that will come out of it), but on the other hand this is kalim who hasnt done that stuff before

ah well i guess it wasnt jamils choice to have kalim work for him (and it doesnt seem dream kalim is that great either just probably a bit more used to it)

????

kalim is mentioning stories of when they were younger doing stuff together but jamils like ?? when did that happen

so like. then the asims losing money and the vipers being rich and hiring them, that happened pretty early on then?

like i mean there was at least a period of time where it was as usual and then the roles reversed and so these stories never happened in this dream

huh

OHHH MY

*stare* is there any way we could get rid of the dream versions of ourselves before we start using their identity like oooh my god

no wonder kalim suddenly changed outfits without saying dreamy magical makeover ??? i thought he was like suddenly good at it even though he said he had trouble with it when not entirely focusing so hed end up wearing outfits backwards thus why idia made it so kalim could use the spell but

so its so you can tell who tf is who LMAO

why is dream kalim acting like dream jamil wtf

saying hes gonna bring him to the doctor and then calling for guards

and then accusing them of being assassins

and then telling him to look him in the eyes

what

AND THEN CALLING US STREET RATS >:((((

not kalim jumping straight into darkness for jamil

i wonder what jamil was thinking during this moment though

cause like say they get kalim kicked out (though id say there have been housewardens who are worse then mind controlled kalim, pre-overblot, like for example how riddle acted towards the students and being so utterly unwilling to anything less than perfect)

wouldnt his family like retaliate or something

or pull jamil out of school so he can continue wherever kalim ends up?

or would they just be like well aw shucks well jamil can stay there (even though hes like kalim's personal servant right?) and kalim can go elsewhere... like. ????

okay so you kick out all the housewardens what then

do you not think there are others who will take on the role of housewarden?? like either cater or trey (although likely trey and cater will be his vice), i know vil i think wanted epel to be housewarden tho for now itd prob be rook, if lilia stayed in school and not also left if malleus left housewarden would prob be him instead.. like ??

what is the plan here will they not be suspicious like oh the other hosuewardens got outed but oh only jamil is the one with as clean slate like ??

i think this jamil zeroes in one thing and thinks ah as long as that obstacle is gone nothing can stand in my way and forgets about every other issue hed have to deal with along the way

BWAHAHAHHA

THE BOYS ARE FIGHTING 😭

calling each other names....

💀💀💀 silver--

wait can jamil just keep using his signature spell on darkness ?????

wh

??????????? can you overblot in dreams???

LMAO

kalim runs to jamil, jamil avoids being grabbed by him

actually its kind of sad everyones getting invitations except malleus

except the location of the 'party' IS malleus so like

and thats it!

okay so the art for the next cards of the next part is really really pretty.... but i realllly need to save for another main story card i really like

but like srsly theyre so pretty (especially the groovy) when i first saw it i thought they were like fanart or something like wHAT thats REAL

[silverlining-ships]

what's the dynamic of dollena like!!! do we know how they first met? etc etc i need to know everything so i can be a number 1 dollena fan‼️‼️ 🫡🫡🫡

HI AMAYA IM SO GRATEFUL FOR YOU

so truthfully .. lore is gonna be REALLY difficult to explain for ENA because the game itself is so nonsensical? she doesn't really have lore herself other than theories! the whole world is just random characters doing random things 😭 so dolly is in a similar boat!

the only confirmed notes I have lore wise are:

she's the companion to my dear friend's ENA-sona (which is why she's named similarly to the other companions to the other ENAs! Moony, Froggy ... Dolly!)

in Dream BBQ she's another entity -- she claims she "is the boss" that ENA is looking for, ENA denies that, and she goes to give a job for her -- to find her harp strings (her chest is actually made of a harp!)

(sneak peak at my WIP ref sheet...)

I'd like to think she'd come back in later chapters of the game, but rn only chapter one is out!

As for their dynamic...

I like all my silversonas to play into an aspect of myself and my story. SUsona is a story about strength and what it means to be strong, DVCsona is a story about identity despite your past, and for ENA... I want our story to be about evolution. To reinvent yourself over and over again, even when it hurts, even when you don't want to. So our dynamic will probably go more into that theme

ENA at her core is a worker -- a metaphor for masking in customer service fronted jobs, actually. her red side (her "salesman") persona is cordial, logical, courteous, while her blue side (her "meanie" side) is a lot more blunt -- but both sides very clearly insinuate that she both LOVES to work while also desperate for freedom

(one of my favorite clips for her switching personalities lol, very short but shows how quickly she switches between personas!)

Dolly on the other hand, is very much a free spirit. Characters in the game sometimes speak a different language while still having English subs -- Dolly is the same, sometimes speaking in Esperanto, and also sometimes just... not speaking! You'll hear random instruments play instead of a voice (my fav example being an out of tune tuba, but also think woodblocks, music box clashing chords, a baritone opera singer...). Her gimmick is music and she solely wants to create--a direct counter to ENA, who soley wants to service

I'd like to think they'd learn off each other and find they're both more than what they think they are, or have new traits they never would even considered. HOWEVER. it's very hard without the other chapters being out yet 😭😭😭

They're a silly couple with lots of banter, and Dolly has similar (if slightly different) relationships to both sides as both sides do bring out slightly different sides of HER. she gets quieter and firmer around the meanie persona, and more ditsy and silly around the salesman persona.

I think that's all I have on them rn 😭🧡 they're definitely more of a "aww, look at them !!" couple rather than a lore -filled story due to the nature of the game, but I love them just as dearly nonetheless

[ccazimi]

u really gonna post something like that & not explain!

well tldr i met this random girl from my uni at a party and she asked for my number and i was like omg??? cute woman asked for my number well yes OBVIOUSLY im going to give it without second thought !!

note: my fallacy falls in the fact i am only extremely sus of men and never of women like keep in mind if this was all happening with a man i would’ve been sus and called it out MUCH sooner

anyways we were texting or wtv for like two days and then she hmu while she was in the car ig with someone driving her back to her apartment and she was telling me like “omg i needa pee so bad :/“ which isn’t super crazy?? like the conversation went on as normal but she would KEEP bringing up how much she had to pee and like KEEP IN MIND IF THIS WAS A MAN I WOULDVE BEEN VERY SUS IMMEDIATELY BUT IM TOO TRUSTING OF WOMEN and so anyways i was deadass getting stressed out for her right?? cuz apparently this drive seemed kinda long and she really had to pee and she wasn’t sure she was able to hold it like okay objectively that’s just not a good situation to be in 😭

anyways ig she almost made it to her apartment but she didn’t, and fucking wet herself by the time she came in. and then she told me abt how her roommates were super mean and condescending to her and how they were laughing/making fun of her and atp im like a little sus bc she was describing odd little details (apparently her roommate took her by the hand and changed her underwear for her but was super condescending abt it the whole time??) and sent me pics of her fucking piss pants but I gave her the benefit of the doubt cuz she seemed like ,,, genuinely upset? and also idk maybe she just lived with a bunch of evil ass women that bully her 😭😭 and then she started talking to me like “omg u probably think im dumb and pathetic for wetting myself don’t u :((“ and i WAS TREATING THIS LIKE A JORMAL SITUATION OK LIKE I ACC FELT BAD FOR HER so i was like noooo haha everyone has embarrassing accidents sometimes ! and then somewhere in the middle of reassuring her i made a joke abt “if i was there id pee my pants too so we can match” anyways.

Thay was a MISTAKE like that was the moment I actually fucked up bc she started being like “omg you’d really do that for me???” and im like uhhhhh and LIKE BY NOW I WAS GETTING TJE IDEA THIS WAS LIKE A KINK THING BUT SHE WAS SUPER CUTE AND FUN AND SMART OUTSIDE OF ALL THIS AND OFC A WOMAN,, AND IM FUCKING SOFT FOR GIRLS SO I CONTINUED TO ENTERTAIN THIS BULLSHIT right

but i was like um idk like what do u even want me to do …

and she’s like piss urself rn and send a pic of your wet pants after u take them off (and a video of u peeing urself if u can)

and now im like ,,, REAL STRESSED OUT. do NOT ask me why i was still entertaining all this ig bc before her it was 99% fucking white boys that seemed to have any interest in me and this was like the one time a girl did it instead like i can’t lose our potential beautiful connection to this little pee thing right??? and i was like maybe if i do it she’ll just move on . so I agreed to the picture not video AND I WAS LIVING W MY ROOMMATES SO I HAD TO WAIT FOR THEM TO GO TO BED before I went to the bathroom and took off my pajamas and poured some water near the crotch area and stuff to look like i peed myself?? and then I sent the pic to her 😭😭😭😭 and luckily she bought it and tbh she didn’t push me abt it after that but i was still feeling kinda weird abt the whole thing so the next day i told her I faked it and i know she was doing this as a kink thing but i do like her and would appreciate if she could just be normal with me

and like ,,, i think she tried? but ig she was also put off by the fact that no more pee fantasies so i kinda stopped talking to her and just PRAYED id never run into her on campus (my campus is HUUUUGE with a sizable student body so I actually didn’t run into her again….)

[chlorinecake]

I just saw what that anon said and I can really really relate I feel like there's no way I can like them cuz I'm black I feel like. Weird for having a crush on Ni-ki cuz I'm black and even though I know there's no chance anyway cause he probably doesn't date fans obviously lol It makes me ashamed especially because people are always saying "what if / he probably doesn't like black girls/people" and it makes me feel like I'm less beautiful because I'm black and even if he did date fans I mean I'm like SOOOO ugly like atrocious but it makes me feel like even if I was a little bit more pretty he wouldn't like me or would dismiss me cause I'm black or like I wouldn't be good enough or he'd be disgusted or disappointed or weirded out because I'm black and a fan /has a crush on him and besides him it makes me feel like enhypen wouldn't talk to me or treat me the same cuz I'm not Asian or white like I couldn't be a fan or wouldn't be as important or pretty or cool or even just they wouldnt want me as a fan or like me or even look my way cause im black its gotten so bad that people dont evn have to say that anymore (they do but they dont have too) for me to think that way. Like I know we all saw that pretty engene video with that girl with the glasses and i couldn't help but make it about race like thinking would they look at me like that or would I be ugly abd weird cause I'm black ? Or if she was black would they still think she's pretty? Or would they even put the camera on her if she was black ? Anyway I'm rambling but being black is something I struggle with even without people saying the group I like or the guy I have a crush on (Niki obviously) wouldn't like me or would hate me for being black . Or they would be uncomfortable or disgusted with me because I'm black so it's just hard to even see myself meeting them or *even to imagine myself in reader fanfics even if the reader's supposed to be black because I've convinced myself that the only way I'd be pretty or attractive or they'd be friends withe or date me in Ni-kis case is if I was white or Asian* (*just talking about from a fanfic standpoint for this one* but yeah) but yeah it sucks and

Okay, I REFUSE to sit here and let you talk down on yourself like that. I don’t care how true you may think it is, YOU ARE NOT UGLY, Mirah ~ You’re beautiful, from head to toe, melanated skin, curly hair and all. Black women are beautiful, it’s disgusting to me how society has brought some of us to a point where we feel insecure, undesirable, or unworthy of affection from others. My words might not do much to encourage you, because finding confidence (esp as a black girl) takes time. But I really urge you to understand that you can’t expect other ppl to accept you when you don’t even accept yourself. Wish I could give you the BIGGEST hug rn, bc this actually hurts to read :(

Another point, I’ve seen plenty videos of Enhypen (along with other kpop groups) connecting with colored fans in the same way they do with their supporters of a fairer complexion, but I won’t share any of those videos here bc I don’t want you to seek “proof” as a way for you to feel better abt yourself.

On the flip side, let’s say that some ppl in the kpop industry DO have a prejudice (which I’m sure some do): your life and happiness isn’t dependent on their validation.

Let’s not even get started on how a lot of Ni-Ki’s favorite artists are black (Riki Jackson ? Bro would’ve never called himself that if he was racist)… but anyway, colored people like any other group of individuals can b really amazing once they get past their insecurities and embrace the way God made them. Jst know that u can always come to be if your struggling with something or just want to vent <3

[fenharel-archived]

saskia i haven't read that game informer dav article yet (i will) but i NEED to hear about your mixed emotions 👀

looking at the spoilers we got objectively i think it all sounds very cool and exciting (besides of the gameplay stuff. they can talk about how cool their 3 ability combos are all they want they won't face me, lol). i love that i guessed right with who the evanuris are. i love that we get to hang out in solas' house AGAIN. the little snippet about seeing how isolated and alone he lived there is So sad 😭. i love that it's almost confirmed that he'll take up some advisor role for rook, even if he's kinda forced too lol (its giving johnny in ur head vibes a little bit, no? ooh i bet the haters are going to love this. 💖) love love love the little mention that there seems to be much more reactivity in terms of ur race and background then what im used to from prior dragon age games (no more morrigan explaining lavellan elven lore??? yes please!!!!!!). or that the magic seems to be more present in this game than in the previous titles, something i was 100% waiting for!!!!! ("imagine spires of crystal twining through the branches, palaces floating among the clouds" plLSSSS!!!!!!!)

buuuut. this is where the mixed emotions comes in. pls. dont click on read more if ya'll have normal and sane opinions on trespasser and the veil. i dont wanna embarrass myself and i dont wanna annoy anyone, lol.

sooo uh. idk how to say this without sounding absolutely bonkers but. i used to say that i dont know how i'll be able to stand a new protagonist who will be against solas. i had 10 years to make peace with that. and i thought i did, but since the gameplay reveal and now the new spoilers i....... i.... "rook stopped the ritual and trapped solas in the fade" legit makes me want to throw rotten tomatoes at them. like i KNOW. I KNEW. what was gonna happen. NOTHING so far has surprised me. so i legit cannot tell ya why im being so irrational rn but its the truth, lol. 💀

im not exicted by any of the actual cool implications we got with ~advisor solas whispering in ur head~ spoilers because i legit wanted him to do whatever he wanted to do. i do not want to stop him and i want him to succeed with everything always. KNOWING that was not gonna happen so idk man. idk what to tell ya ksjdfhsjkdhfsjkhf

i think that a level one noob is able to stop 9+ year cooked up plan with the help of a rock like its nothing isnt helping because it feels like cheap disney writing to me. but everything i just said prior still stands. i AM being irrational. BUT I WANT TO BE EXCITED. LIKE IM NOT LYING WHEN I TELL YOU I KNOW THIS ALL SOUNDS FUN. MAYBE THIS IS CONFIRMATION THAT HE'LL SURVIVE THIS GAME TOO. AT THE END OF THE DAY THAT LITERALLY ALL I CARE ABOUT. BUT ARGHHHHHH i will now try to manifest the cool headcanons im seeing. i will manfiest them. i will become sane and normal about this and be excited. i will be SO excited and i will make a rook i like. this is my mission now

[arodrwho]

disordered eating talk under the cut

hmmm. so i talked to psych about how i still cant fuckin remember to eat, and i mentioned how its a 3fold problem:

i do not rly register hunger signals until i am nearly starving. i just wont notice that i need to eat until i Really Really need to eat

if i set an alarm to remind myself to eat it is hard to stop what im doing to go get food. like come ON im busy just a few more minutes - [spongebob voice] 10 hours later

making food is just so many goddamned steps

and i think.. possibly he did not understand my first point and only processed the last two?

bc he said there is no medication to fix it and it is unfortunately just a matter of sheer perseverance and willpower, there is no magic pill to make me remember to eat, i just have to set habits and try my hardest to stick to them and not beat myself up about it when i fail, and he offered some advice and was polite about it and understanding about how difficult it can be but i just

i have tried these. theyre not consistently working. i know im always going to be consistently inconsistent, i get that, i have Done my research

and its true ig that i could stand to be kinder to myself about it but some level of concern is merited, like

when i went to see my rheum last she could tell just by looking at me that i had lost weight. and i didnt have a lot of weight to lose in the first place

[ngl she was kind of negligent bc she asked if i wanted to be weighed, i said i didnt care, assuming she say OK lets do it then since its relevant medical information and id just said i didnt mind, but she said OK then we wont worry about it, and then just put a note in my file saying id lost weight but id denied losing it intentionally. like.. if Anyone is unintentionally losing weight without making any lifestyle changes that should be concerning i think? mind you im pretty sure its only due to my shitty eating habits, so im not rly worried or anything, its more the principle of the thing. she should perhaps have done more than just go "huh. anyway bye" without even checking how much weight id lost]

...none of this was even my original point

my point was. i dont think he heard me right bc surely drugs exist that increase appetite? at the very least as a side effect i know thats a thing

bc i know for a fact when i took wellbutrin (bc my old psych wanted to try me on nonstimulants for adhd first) and that DID increase my appetite. it went from fully nonexistent "i will either feel mysteriously sleepy when i need to eat or just not feel anything at all" to "oh what the fuck is my stomach actually growling? it hasnt done that since i was a kid!"

is a shame it also gave me nightmares or id take it for that alone tbh, even if it did fuckall for my adhd

anyway. to conclude. @ psych ur advice was.. not exactly novel and didnt address the root problem of "hunger is such a tiny barely noticeable thing wven when i Do experience it [which again isnt til im starving] that its super easy to ignore when my brain goes hwwwrgh dont wannaaaaa"

case in point i CAN feel that i need to eat rn, just.. really not very strongly [is a mild physical sensation that comes without any accompanying desire to eat, vs what i know as actual hunger, which is a different and louder physical sensation that DOES come w the desire to eat] so ive spent the last half hour writing this post instead . like a fool.

i have pizza rolls literally RIGHT THERE [keep food nearby, he said. little snacks, he said] but i ate half [like. 7 of them] and then felt full. and now im feeling both full and like i need to eat which is really really annoying. @ body why are you like this

[doegirldaydreamerarchived]

Diary entry #2 - 21/01/25

Okay so honestlt im writing this on the same day as the first one, so i might not do one for a few days so i dont burn myself out! (bc of my habit of getting obsessed and burning out in like a few days.) But i kinda already took notes about today so erm!! Youre all stuck w it! ᜊ( ᴗ͈ˬᴗ͈)ᜊ

Giggling forreal onto the actual day. Firstly i jsut wanna say i had to actually decipher my notes like an archeologist or sumet bc i wrote them under the table without looking. Ok forreal anyways omg nevermind tumblr closed this when i minimised the app and said it didnt save and jumpscared me so hard.

ANYWAYS. Let me yap!! Even tho i kinda just wanna sleep rn but shshhh ill just be lazy tmr.

So firstly it was raining on like my first good hair day in a whilleee so.. just why </3 Also bc jan’s been such a blur i realised its my mums bday tmr and i didnt even realise and i feel actually a little evil.. like obvi bc i dont have a job theres not much i can do, but like.. idk. Ill make sure to wish her happy bday tho! Anyways me and my friend mostly talked abt my other friends really nasty now ex bf. Like they shouldve broken up AGESS ago for.. so so many reasons that are probably worse than u think. But at least it happened eventually!! And now i can talk abt him bc he was kinda weird icel. omg also absolutely fantasising abt my dvds bc todays the like due date for package!! Love that!!

Anyways now school.. so basically my friend mentioned he bought cinnamon buns bc he loves them and hes like ‘yeah u can have one as well’ but the dread kinda kicked in in first period. Bit of a rude reminder i do in fact have problems and sometimes they make stuff suck for no reason which is.. ew but ill manage. But on a better note i totally have a little hallway crush (outside of my atrocious fat raging normal crush). Basically shes in my history and when we were lining up she was like sorting her bag and she looked back and smiled at me and UGH shes so pretty!! I also told her her bag was unzipped and fixed it for her 😇😇 But also my usual massive headache started this period. Like one of my eyes was watering headache. But also it kinda relaxed when i put my glasses on si like.. is it straining my eyes?? Idk i js really need new glasses bc my old ones are really old and a little broken and omg i need to stop im starting to feel bad for them. Girly things. Anyways fr ill be getting new ones sometime soon so i can keep my others as spares!! Anyways we were still soing abt.. ykw from ww2 germany and we were talking abt how he treated the church and how a lot of minsters and like preists opposed him and like. It reminded me that stuff isnt always black and white and people who are in a group with a lot of bad people can be good yk? Like a lot of my friends have bad experiences with religion but not all religious people are bad ykwim? And lastly my friend accidentally buttdialed his gf (also my friend) and she heard someone saying goodmorning to me and me going ‘omg he actually said rhat??’ bc i was talking abt someone else giggle. Funsies.

Okayayays anyways now p2 which was english. As usual, my teachers an icon, and also i got to highlight one of my pages really cute and i wanted to take a pic but no phones ufufjjfjf.. what id give to like take pictures w my brain or sumet. Maybe those meta glasses would be cool if they werent violently invasive and chunky as hell. But anyways the Mz kid was like even louder than usual somehow but it didnt bother me bc i had a rlly weird dream w him in it?? Jusy in one part but like. Basically in the dream was saying something about ‘birthday’ and i thought he was being rude so i snapped at him n he looked sad. Then i went around looking for him but found two girls like boxing in some random changing room???? Anyways there was more but thats what stuck w me lol. So yeah i didnt really mind him that much today. Also when we were leaving i was like stuck near some girls who dont like me but like.. i wasnt stressing abt it i just didnt really care. Sooo.. character development idk giggle

Anwyyayss at break i ended up eating half of that cinnamon bun which like. Win bc it was nice and recovery stuff idk. Anyways one of my other friends (R) whos like never in school was in today and we just yapped and hung out for a little and ralked abt the whole bf thing and i loved it shes so sweeet!! But yeah otherwise it was chill asf and we just hung out and stuff!

Okok now third which was physics that also has a teacher i adore bc hes so funny. He made a joke abt like someone thinking he was talking to them bc of his lazy eye and being dramatic abt it and i was GIGGLINF. Also he had like a thermometer gun or whatever and he made an actual gun joke and it surprised me a little lol. Ofmmgm and he made a joke abt b.ngs bc of how many people do the plant where we live and hes an icon for that. Alsoso me and my friend were listening to music and do i wanna know started playing and i didnt even know he had it on his playlist and it was a massive win. Last thing promise, i was thinking abt getting like a mini notebook to write this stuff down in bc i wrote it on my hand but my pens r gel pens so it smudged really bad and i had to type it up anyways sooo.. better pens or mini notebook giggle. Andndn lastly bc yes!! I like stayed behind for a sec bc my friend was getting a reward and when we left my teacher like pointed at me and was like ‘u should speak up in lesson more!’ And fucjkckf hes so sweet. Maybe its my daddy issues idk but it was like.. rlly?? :((( hes just so nice i love him smsmmm!

Anyways then maths. My normal teacher wasnt in again which liks.. miss come back pls </3 and also some kids were like making fun of the annoying kid which like.. ur not any better than him dude.. but tbf one of those kids was a little funny after abt sumet else so.. idk doesnt make it right but makes me him a little less annoying. Anyways i got reminded i need to clear oht my bag bc all my stuff in it looks so cute together but its an actual mess so eventually ive gotta sort it sigh..

Aaand then lunch. Was inside again bc it was raining, and I mostly just yapped w R. She did have this really nice spray tho (one of the sol de janero ones) and im thinking abt getting one bc apparently they actually last and theyre really nice. Also some mean girls came up like opposite me but behind our group and sat in the one place we were told not to sit.. but its fine they got moved eventuallt and we didnt have to deal w them so. Yay! R left for the second half of lunch tho so it was just the normal group again and we just chilled.

Theeenn p5 which was chemistry. Honestly reallt not much happened, i was spaced asf. Weve been over the stuff were going over now so i could clock out a little giggle. I did yap to another friend otw out which we love.

Andndn finallt freedom omg. Ofc my first priority was coffee which honestly is always one of the best parts of my day. But firstly my dvds got delayed which was like.. the worst thing ever. Giggle fr tho i mostly just scrolled tumblr and stuff. And also sorted out my blog a little bc unfortunately im just a girl and i need everything to look perfect. I have revised some for my exam tho and i think im getting better at it. Still stupidly snappy but im working on it! Also i hate that i have to like look at my food before i eat it bro. Like if it looks weird i will be one unexpected texture from gagging and its just. I know the foods good let me eat in peace </3 But its fine bc ofc it acc was good and we love that!

Anyways yayaa thats it for this entry. Ive just gotta wash my hair then im going bed finalllyy!! And tbh if its anytime near what it is rn for me you should too tbh. Get ur beauty sleep angell!!

Rue, signing out 𓂃۶ৎ

[hell0w0rld112358]

hiiiiii welcome to my blog!

✴︎₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊ ✴︎₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊ ✴︎ ₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊ ✴︎ ₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊ ✴︎ ₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊ ✴︎

my name on here is Lo! like my username hel(lo)_world112358

(yes that is a coding pun no i do not actually code i just made my username when i was in middle school when i tried to learn to code to impress a guy (bad move) and never updated it)

✴︎ this is my main art blog but i have a side blog for shitposting (helloshitposting) and a side blog for fanfic recs (hellofanfic)

✴︎ check out my redbubble!

✴︎ i will do requests/commissions for characters/ocs in my stardew valley-esque pixel style, send me an ask!

✴︎ looking for more mutuals so if ur 18+ hit me up!

✴︎ i plan to eventually make art for all or most of the fandoms i have listed but im in college in an intense as fuck major and chronically ill so i literally have negative energy rn

✴︎ fandom info + more below the cut

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multi fandom

✴︎ good omens ✴︎ harry potter ✴︎ mha ✴︎ sonic ✴︎ stardew valley ✴︎ moomin valley ✴︎ tadc

main ships

✴︎ crowley/aziraphale ✴︎ redeemed!draco/harry ✴︎ bakugo/deku ✴︎ toga/ochaco ✴︎ eraserhead/presentmic ✴︎ pomni/jax ✴︎ snufkin/moomintroll✴︎

(can you tell i like enemies to lovers?)

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dni if you’re:

✴︎ anti-lgbtq, anti-feminist, racist, abelist, etc

✴︎ also if ur gonna argue/comment rudely about the ships i like or media i consume, you’re entitled to your opinion, but im entitled to my peace, im not gonna defend myself when this is all for fun

(i feel like all this goes without saying but yknow)

apart from that go nuts!

✴︎₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊ ✴︎₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊ ✴︎ ₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊ ✴︎ ₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊ ✴︎ ₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊ ✴︎

also!!!

i want to make it extremely clear:

i in no way support or endorse JKR or neil gaiman, absolutely a resounding FUCK them, but i do firmly believe in separating the art from the artist, and death of the artist, which means i get to critically consume canon, murder it, and rebuild it in my mind palace like frankenstein with fanwork. these are our characters and stories to build off of!

(that being said, i think if you try to shame, harass, or judge the character of people for being in fandoms with problematic creators when they explicitly condemn said creators you actually need to touch grass. a good portion of famous people and big creators are shitty! it’s expected at this point! if you genuinely think that no one should ever engage in any space or fandom that benefits or is related to shitty rich people then we might as well just fuck off the internet and go live in caves because it’s legit impossible)

✴︎₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊ ✴︎₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊ ✴︎ ₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊ ✴︎ ₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊ ✴︎ ₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊ ✴︎

[fraemlingg]

im just gonna freestyle this text so this is not gonna be very thought through or whatever but literally i am so incredibly sick of social media i am sooo sick of that ugly AI slop everywhere and algorithms and ads and everything being designed to keep us glued to our screens no matter the consequences

i am sick of monetarisation i am sick of posting my art online literally begging for people to like my posts in hopes of being able to make at least a lil money with my art one day it feels like im selling myself out and its so fucking far from authentic like im a tattoo artist and so i follow a bunch of other tattoo artists and although they all have such amazing unique styles everything feels so performative and i KNOW that every single one of them feels the same and its so fucking sad that we cant really do anything about it

and im not trying to sound pretentious but i?? kinda hate meme culture?? it pisses me off?? can we not have normal inside jokes anymore why are 10 people sending me funny little posts even though they know i will not look at them (and like rlly truly no offense bc i know they do it bc they love me and think of me and i love them for it and i appreciate it in one way or another im not being judgy rn thats not my point). i want to write letters not dms but i feel like if i were to say that i might be called "cringe" which yknow is a concern i already expressed in another post and might be a me-problem but as ethel cain said it so fantastically nothing is taken seriously anymore and i hugely blame social media and meme culture

and like pls keep enjoying ur memes im again not judging just speaking from my subjective experience and that experience is that it caused me brainrot im not sure i'll ever be able to fix and that SUUUUCKS dude we all got dragged into phone addiction without a fucking choice and it will just get worse and worse and worse

i watched LuvstarKeis youtube video on why you should make a website and i think they (i looked everywhere for their pronouns sry if i got it wrong ;w;) have such good points i rlly enjoy their youtube videos in general. so yea in the long run i think im gonna create a website (or two to separate tattoos n music), post it to instagram with a statement, and then im gonna "leave instagram". putting that in "" bc im gonna keep my instagram but only so people can dm me for appointments or other things bc i dont wanna give out my telegram and people these days are too damn lazy to write a single email (even dj bookers lol it pisses me off a bit like what do i have this mail for then). like why are people using AI to write emails pls make it stop sometimes we have to do things that are inconvenient and that is actually a GOOD thing my fucking god, same thing goes for physical media like dvds nd such like fuck streaming services but thats another topic for another day

im probably gonna keep posting on my priv instagram just bc like. theres so many photos on there from so many years ago that would probably be lost if i deleted that account nd like i go on there like every 3 months or so to dump my photos there and then i log off so whatever. i am mostly pissed off about sharing art on social media and feeling so unauthentic about it and being glued to my phone when i could do so many other much better things liKE UGHHHHHHH

i think dead internet theory is scary and depressing but lowkey i hope the internet is actually dying bc i am so sick of this internet society. i am so goddamn sick of everyone being addicted to their phones. remember when we had a life like?????? how did we end up like this

i also wanna get a flipphone one day but yea i gotta plan that shit

i just needed to vent i could probably go on for ages about this but imma choose to shut the fuck up now

[angel-fruitcake]

Hello just need to vent with someone else cause I feel like im stressing all the people around me irl feel free to not answer if you dont want to its ok really ill understand (im just writing this to you cause i saw you posting about it)

Im not american but ive spent the last months watching the campaign (mostly from misha but also in general on the internet) amd i was scared. Then biden stepped down and I felt relieved and hopefull that harris could actually win this cause "whos gonna vote HIM again? Right???" Then (or maybe before ive lost semse of time) the assassination attempt happend and I got scared again cause he had just gained if nothing at least the coolest picture he could ever wish for. But after that so many people, celebrities and not, started endorsing her and I thought there was still hope

I remember how anxious i got in 2020 and the exact moment of relief seeing Georgia going blue. And that was bad because of covid and all the stress of that slow counting but this felt worse

I spent yesterday rewatching destiel episodes to celebrate the anniversary but also to distract myself from the election but at night I just could sleep i was so scared. I talked about it with all my friends and family but they were not feeling it like me. Like tes they were scared a bit but not... not in the same way. Maybe its because its my first year out? Half out (family still doesnt know) like... i fear for the queer people (and in gemeral all the people who might be endangered) in the us cause now i feel more in the community maybe? Idk but I couldnt sleep at all

This morning I woke up and spent the morning on the destiel tag and on the AP map watchung it going redder and redder every hour and now... i dont even know what to feel

Im at loss of words thoughts and feelings. I DONT KNOW

Im scared like if I couldve done somethng for it or if it could directly affect me. It will sure but not today tomorrow or in january. It will be slow and scary and ill have to watch it happen without tje possibility of doing anything about it. Just like i have seen two wars start and my vote been wasted into nothing when my own country elected the far right just this june

Im hopeless and so fucking scared rn and my friends look at me amd dont get why I feel like a lone freak going crazy over somethung i shouldnt care about when I know I actually have to and they should care too and idk how to warn them i dont know what to do

And im not even american. I cant begin to imagine how it feels to know you have even done anythung you could and it changed nothing

So right now I wanna tell you all of you americans that you are not alone. That we are as scared as you are. Maybe it might be totally useless know this but... to me just seeing on line people going nuts makes me feel less crazy so yeah

sorry for the bad english my brain cant think straight rn (or ever lol)

omg anon i'm so sorry i didn't see this until just now !

it's perfectly ok for you to vent in my inbox. let all your fears and worries out, don't bottle them up. i'm glad you at least won't be directly affected in the immediate future, and i hope to god it stays that way.

i'm very scared as well, especially being a woman of reproductive age in america. i live in a red state too, so i already have less freedoms than my friends and family in blue states. i don't know what the future holds for america or the world, and that thought is terrifying. but all we can do right now is cling tight to our loved ones and take care of each other the best we can. i hope things will turn out okay for us all 🫂💕

ps. keep watching those destiel episodes if they bring you even a little bit of comfort. i know they definitely do for me when i feel like i'm being suffocated by the weight of everything around me

[cheeseandbretboy]

the painting i continued (from longer than a year ago) has too bright white highlights so i need to get rid of them AND quite possibly it would be nice to just give up and do whaeter and get on the train just ot look at all the stations i havent seen before nd cvt and listten to whip your kids on repeat again and again and have no money to afford to eat and find someone who is just so ?? and mean but not in that non self absorbed self absorbed way and stupid because everyone has too much to look forward to and too much to complain about and that makes everyone so yucky and hypocritical and ughghurejne me whenni have work tmr ALSO need to print out more movie photos AND anyone i meet gets so human and i get sick of them so easily but not myself so i will always be alone and thats a good thing unless im not listening to music then it is not so good bc i can hear my breathing an feel my skin also what even is life without music its just ------------------ no ty i do not want to be like amber or ritchie but oh i did thrift their shoes and also jasons but hes kind of an L WAIT that makes so much sense anyway that scene where they are walking in the store with the heavy combat boots that have been discontinued (why?) and a shotgun wow! imagine being tricked by a soda can what a loser anyway the sehleves ive built are really nice and after doing that with hands blistered and joints sore i realised i can fit everythign insdie it and oh god im gonna lose absolutely everything! and thn something even WoORSE hit me that none of this even means anytnign, what the flip, imagine this format will stop and we only live in the real world what then maybe just maybe musicals make sense and then i bash my head into my desk HOW COULD U FOR A SECOND THINK MUSICALS ARE OKAY blood is spurting just likein that scene in longlegs dilf, jokes no maybe nicholas cage hes too pasty this has gotten long uve recently discovered this rly underground and unpopular artist michael jackson yea nobodies really heard of him sigh WHY DO I HAVEA FRENCH BOOK OH GOD IM GOING TO HELL people should put everything ive ever ever made into a bible because that is all i am and i am so happy that is true so yea put this in as well and all my assigmnets and paintings and digital art from 2019 and old drawings and scribbles and south park doodles and short stories ad gore and all the deleted notes of measurrements (sigh why phone) and dont forget all the photos and the annotations i rubbed out later cuz they sounded dumb and too personal remember always to make ur writing as obscure as possible because people always look to make everything about them hey emotions are really stupid our brains are amazing at finding information so much of it but our conciousness is preoccupied with other stupid stuff like education and being horny so all we get is emotions that have been processed information so hey our thinking brain really is in the back seat and we cant change it yk im bnad! im bad! u knowit really really bad megamind... evan peters is eyeing me rn.. i did a really good job of diverting my mental problems its actually really good but i am hoping we can get back to them once they get fixed and maybe this dependence wiol go away too right maybe and wait a darn second are you telling me i wont find myself a tim burton anti hero what the flip unbelievable may i get a refund never sell your doc martens just break them in please the blisters and pus and blood will pass and they will be great i swear unless theyre the max platform types then u might have to keep getting pain but thats okay god dont tell me i need to work in the future although when i watched the movie for the 2nd time in cinemas there was 3 seconds where there was a doctor with a mask and wowww maybe i shld become one of those but i dontthink i have the right motivation maybe neurobiology maybe quantum mechanics mabe maybe even both like quantum mind god thats interesting but only after biology i need to get worried abt climate change and then realise OH MY GOD NOTHING MATTERS BUT OUR MINDS and thats