mirielsart

[horsemage]

I think we should bring back basic etiquette lessons such as shutting the fuck up when you’re watching a movie in a group that is not exclusively your friend group 🙂

[sgojoenthusiast]

hi guys!! i need some help. if you read all this yap i love you.

i haven’t posted anything in a while bc i’ve been really struggling w my sexuality. this is going to come as an absolute shock if you follow me, but for the past year or so i’ve identified as a lesbian. however i am one of those lesbians who would kill for any of my pretty little princesses (my big, buff, 6’0 fictional men) and i absolutely LOVE to write fan fiction for them - which is somewhat apart of the problem.

i cant actually picture myself doing any of these things with a real life man but i also can't picture myself doing anything with a woman either. it's not that i don't like the idea i just can't physically see myself doing any of it and atp i can't really see myself in a relationship at all.

this whole thing started about a month ago, where i was introduced to another girl. the first night we met, we did stuff together (not rllt much) but i did feel a little pressured into it. the entire time i was just thinking 'when is this going to end' but not because it didn't feel good. we've been talking a lot (long distance) and she likes the same things i like (which is difficult for me to find) and she's kind and funny but i just can't seem to like her in that way. i've never liked any woman to the point where i can call it love so i feel like i can't call myself a lesbian even though i've never felt that way for a man either, but then again i don't really speak to many men outside of my family/gay friends.

i can see myself married to a woman more than i can see myself married to a man. i find men attractive and i find women attractive but i can't tell if i'm attracted to them, and seeing my lesbian friends with their girlfriends makes me so jealous because i want that i just don't know if i'm capable of feeling such strong feelings.

i've already decided that i'll talk to the girl from earlier about this once i've gathered the courage because i know it's unfair for me to string her along when i'm so unsure at the minute because clearly i'm unready for a relationship. like at one point my friend thought she was talking to another girl and if anything i just felt relieved.

on the topic of fan fiction, i know and understand that it is completely different from real life s3x & that it sets an unrealistic standard for these kinds of things which is why i love to write it. i love writing about that kind of connection and visioning a world with a love like that even if i do write it about men a lot. but when i take into account the real world and real men i'm completely uninterested and can only see that world with a woman but then i don't really ever write about women.

i love the idea of love and falling in love and i don't know what i'd do without it but then there's a part of me that thinks that i could be aroace because i can't seem to feel any of these feelings.

anyway, all this has stemmed from one girl and i can't tell if its just another failed attempt at a relationship or whether i'm not really a lesbian.

thank you for anyone taking the time to read this i appreciate it and would love for some advice. i know labels aren't important but in a community so divided as this one i feel like i need a space where i can feel more comfortable and with people like me.

[whimsicalcotton]

Also I started getting into the namesake song of polluted marrow (Spiracle by Flower Face) and it's so good... I wanna give you the green light to ramble about how you think this song relates to the fic/the characters/etc bc I'm very curious to hear how it inspired you 😊

[cracks knuckles] Okay so,

for starters this AU is kinda old. i think i started toying w the general idea in 2016ish, and the want to write it got hardcore resurrected when i decided to watch an lis1 playthrough for the first time in fucking ages last year. i happened to find Spiracle recently after finishing up so there was already like a 60% chance i'd start associating it w lis through just that, but then i was smacked in the face specifically by this last line

so hard that i was immediately like Oh God I Need To Write That Timelooper Max AU Right The Fuck Now. (like seriously. "i want you butterfly, i want you sailor." what am i supposed to Do after hearing that if not wail over pricefield)

as a whole for me the song is about The Devotion (tm) and how Max loves every last little part of Chloe, good or bad, for better or worse, so goddamn much that she's willing to put herself through all this fucking bullshit several times over. Yearning On A Cosmic Scale kind of vibes.

but then after a few listens i Realized. that some of these lines are really good for Rachel + the admittedly unhinged amberfield dynamic i have brewing. imo Max is definitely not immune to the whole putting the idea of Rachel on a pedestal problem, but she does it Different than everyone else bc her image of Rachel is informed mostly by how important she was to Chloe. which is to say i read some of these lines in an "and i want you, too. i want every part of her and you're a part of her," sort of way.

also this one line is very Max @ both of them

and to bring it back to that last bit again, i feel like the butterfly/sailor line is pretty self-explanatory but "i am your lover, and i am your jailor," to me is the crux of all those conflicting gnarly gay timelooper feelings. no one loves you like me, no one hurts you like me. i'm saving us, i'm keeping us trapped here. i'm the one who pulls you from your grave, i'm the one who throws the first shovel of dirt onto your coffin. i'm your lover, i'm your jailor.

also! even the title easily lends itself to lis imagery bc A) english is stupid and there are too many words that look the damn same so i think of spirals every time i see it. and more concretely, B) spiracles are little holes in an insect's body that they use to get oxygen and ofc,, both butterflies And the chrysalis itself have them. i'm mentally unwell about this actually. truly i wasn't aware i could be emotionally damaged by looking up caterpillar facts but that's what writing does to you i guess.

and lastly i picked out 'polluted marrow' as a title for the whole AU because

could be Any Of Them.

for Max it's "i'll still want you if you're nothing; i'll still want you if your insides are rotting." for Chloe it's "i want to know what's hurting you; i want to take it away." for Rachel it's "i want to see the depth of your sickness; i want you to hold it to my throat like the weapon you've made it into."

[hertwood]

👀😈🧠👩‍🏭???

👀 Do you have any WIPs that you would never let see the light of day? If yes, what are they about?

i have several fic ideas that have just petered out and i'm resigned to not finishing. it's not about not sharing them, it's about making peace with never finishing them. (i also have several fics i havent touched in months but im DETERMINED to get back to but that's a separate problem.)

one of those is, sadly, femdomverse 3 (and everything else i had planned). i have shared bits and pieces about it before, and it was going to be called "points present" bc she leaves a pair of her underwear as a ~treat~ for getting his first points ladkfjasldkfjaslkjf

i think my big problem with femdomverse was just down to teething problems. i wrote fdv1 on impulse in under 24hrs, i dont think i would've even finished fdv2 if i wasn't trapped in my appt with covid (thanks covid.) it sorta grew into a much larger idea than it started as and trying to figure out planning it out once i was already in the middle of it. i think it was a good lesson for really taking the time to think out longer projects fully before i post anything in the future.

but fdv still has such a place in my heart and its spirit lives on in my other girlfics!!!!

😈 Is there anything you enjoy doing that you think your readers hate?

this is such an interesting question because i spend very little time thinking about this. i write what i wanna write and if yall like it thats just a bonus :P new ask game tell me things i do as a writer you find annoying??? lol i suppose one thing i do a lot is talk about fics and just not get them finished or posted in a reasonable amount of time. WHICH ANNOYS ME TOO TO BE FAIR. idk. let me know~

🧠 What’s an idea you have that you can’t quite call a WIP yet?

ooooooh gio for u. as a treat. i'll talk abt my sargewood fic idea. this doesn't really count as a wip yet bc i haven't written anything yet, BUT circling back to the first one, planning out longer forms fics is important for me in the writing process. i've only talked abt this with care in DMs so i guess this is its first proper public sharing.

so, it's an au where kyle never really got into racing, he and logan knew each other in carting but kyle's career petered out and he and logan fell of of touch. for logan, his career progresses as we know it irl, until he gets dropped at the end of the 2024 season and he ends up without any sort of drive, goes back to florida in a sort of career limbo. and runs into kyle again!!!!!

but!!!!! surprise!!!! kyle's a dad! (this was all thought up around this btw. i was like how do i make singledad!kyle as a concept into an actual story with substance.) kyle and a high school ex had a baby, kyle realized he was gay so they broke up, she's very very smart and got into law school or smth so she's off doing smart businesswoman shit and kyle is the primary parent who gets child support. (amicable coparenting!!! just to be clear!!!!)

so with all of logan's new free time he can spend all this time with kyle and his kid to the point where lines start to blur and he now has all this free time to unpack any feelings that might pop up. writing a chaptered fic would be so so daunting but i think it'd be a good challenge for me, i just rly need to sent aside time to rly work on outlining everything i want!

👩‍🏭 If one of your fics was going to get you arrested, which one and why?

i'm not quite sure how to answer this question aldfjaslfjasldfja i'm big on. feeling morally neutral abt the fiction we all write. HOWEVER i do know that like, oscarmark is ~controversial~ and i do have this wip. that i havent touched in a while but i love the concept so much i still rly want to get back to at some point. the wip actually predates fdv and i originally was like 'oh i'll just anon post it i'm too embarassed' but now any embarassment abt the wierd shit i write is GONE lmao. i did talk abt it in the replies of this post and thats the most i've said about it before. it's really just a contrived silly little plot all just to set up oscar being fucked over the side of a boat. which is public sex technically which is also a crime. its v self indulgent its very For Me i hope i can take it out of wip purgatory someday :'(

[quirrelli]

So, I finished Killing Eve S4 and I'm...

...just gonna pretend I do not see it. S3 wasn't amazing but its ending still works way better as the ending of the show than the actual ending, so I think I'll just be having that, thank you.

No, but seriously, how did they manage to have this much lesbian activity for four seasons and still end up with bury your gays lite?? Did literally no one in that writer's room have even a cursory look at tvtropes.com or talk to like one gay person??? Make no mistake, I was fully expecting one or both of them to die, especially since I was aware – without knowing any details – of the finale's negative reception. There are always going to be people who hate an ending and by extension the whole show simply because it killed off their favorite character, irrespective of context or execution. I am not one of those people, so I want to be crystal clear here when I say there were ways to make a tragic ending work for Killing Eve, a few fairly obvious ones even, and so I thought surely there was no way they would fall into that specific trap again.

The most generous interpretation of this (non-)ending I can come up with is to apply Hanlon's razor, in which case it might be be seen as a symptom of the general loss of focus the series suffered beginning with S3 and exponentially more so in S4. By which I mean they let the emotional core (the V/E dynamic) diverge wildly from the plot (finding the 12).

Never lose sight of the emotional core. I find you can get away with almost anything; technical faults, dodgy performances, plot holes (especially plot holes), even a meh ending, as long as the emotional core stays exactly where its name says it should stay.

Helene is an easy means of illustration for this point. Helene in S4 is basically less chaotic Villanelle, both in her function to the plot (murderous fancy bitch whomst is important as the key to a bigger bad) and in her relationship with Eve (gay, aggressive, lethally hot), which makes me wonder why they didn't just let Villanelle play that part??? It's driving me mad bc it's the most obvious thing and would have fixed so many problems in an instant.

By which I don't mean get rid of Helene btw, just make better use of her, as an actual member and face of the 12 or a double agent or sth. Give V the quest to hunt down the 12, it's already perfectly aligned with her motivations and capabilities at the end of S3! I mean she wants to impress Eve by showing her she's trying to be better and to start a new life, right? Cool, ok, therefore, in Villanelle's moderately disturbed mind it makes perfect sense to do this by violently hunting down a bunch of bad ppl ~ for Eve ~ . (The fact that she's also high key horny for murder is just a bonus, don't worry about it, baby.) If not that, then do sth else entirely with her, do the church thing (properly this time, not squeezed into two episodes and then entirely forgotten) but don't give hunting down the 12 to Helene, a character that already feels vaguely like a replacement for Villanelle while she's off doing character growth or whatever.

If they had done the thing that makes sense, it would have also meant that for once V and E's goals would have aligned, (though they might not have realized it immediately, you know, for spice,) which would have given us an opportunity to delve into a new dynamic: Partners in crime. Not S2 V tenuously working for E bc horny but actual challenging "we want the same thing except oh no, all this history and unresolved tension" cooperation. Obviously it would have gone horribly wrong in some fashion (I'm thinking Carolyn shenanigans), but at least it would have gone wrong for a reason that actually involved them bc the plot would have actually been their plot again. Incidentally, if you're going to have them hook up, this would be a great time for that, so it doesn't feel quite so backhanded if/when one/both die at the end.

The only reason I can imagine for not going down this route is that it would be too obvious, to which I can only say: [Insert tired comparison to Game of Thrones here.]

Seriously, hunting down the 12 is a natural conclusion to the story. It makes sense, was built to from the beginning and should have been a slam dunk in terms of plotting. Thus I am flummoxed as to how the writers managed to drop the ball so spectacularly that it hit every single one of their teammates square in the tits.

Well, I say that, the show does maintain a few of its strengths, first and foremost the cast of course, consequently some of the dialogue (Carolyn and V's interactions are delightful) and I do like the idea of both Gunn and Pam and also V getting shot by an arrow. Just wish the cupid/angel motif hadn't been so muddled and included Gunn more (who shouldn't have been called Gunn. It's a bad joke.)

Speaking of, many have rightly decried the lackluster supporting cast but as I see it, that is largely a holdover from S3, which killed off/wrote out basically everyone but the core four and failed to introduce any new characters that stayed past the season finale (besides Helene) bc it was too busy not moving the plot forward. You gotta have side characters in your show, so they made some new ones for S4 and gathered together whatever scraps they could (Hugo prettyboy and Martin the therapist). Idk if there was a good way to solve this problem exactly, but they could have certainly woven the new lot into the story better. Especially Pam. Pam could have been so much more. Oh and fuck the way they wrapped up Irina's story too. Complete waste.

With bad plotting comes shitty pacing. Again, that already started in S3. However, I will say in defense of S3 that it being a bit slower and introspective is very much the sort of thing that could have felt kinda ok, even needed in retrospect, if S4 had Risky Businessed into the room champagne in one hand, gun in the other, ready to party. Instead it made S3 look worse by turning it into a prelude to an even more plodding experience, now with bad editing!

For real, there's some really poorly constructed scenes; shots that feel disjointed, unfocused, repetitive. No idea what that's about, could it be the lingering effects of Covid-restrictions? Or maybe they just needed a better editor. Regardless, while not super dire it is absolutely noticeable and contributes to the general lack of cohesion, not to mention the tonal dissonance.

What am I saying, that's an excellent thing to mention. An ideal candidate to put the show and this too long note on my phone out of its misery in fact.

Killing Eve is supposed to be fun, you guys, remember that? S1 was at all times like two smash cuts away from becoming a full on comedy and it was amazing for that. It was the show's most unique feature, what took it from very good to transcendent as far as I'm concerned. Walking that line is hard, no doubt about it, and I get that different show runners have different visions and of course you can take on a more serious tone between seasons but then you actually need to make everything else match that shift. Integrate the absurdity into your writing or discard it, the way I've discarded the idea of ever writing a proper conclusion for anything. If you really want a dramatic, played entirely straight spy thriller conclusion with conspiracies upon conspiracies and doomed passions, that's fine. I mean, it’s not really bc you're losing what made Killing Eve great et cetera and so forth but my point is that you can't have your imaginary drag king Jesus and eat him too.

tl;dr: S4 is bad. There are several reasons for this.

[lemonlovemeanslove]

Something that I've always found to be interesting about homophobia is that people who grew up more liberal seem to kind of misunderstand it. And they seem to misunderstand how conservatives view it, which I think can be quite harmful actually. Many liberals and leftist will point out how conservatives will on go on and on about the sex lives of homosexuals, and how much time and energy is spend talking about gay sex. And I notice that a lot of liberals will then go oh, that's because these conservatives are closet cases, they are gay, that's why they place so much emphasis on the sex part. And like, that could be true for some, but I don't think that that is really IT. And I think this misconception stems from the fact that liberals aren't taught how to homophobia the way that conservative are. When you grow up in these families, it is vital that you divorce gayness from love. Being gay isn't about love, or loving someone. It's about having gross sex, unnatural sex. Because it's so much harder to teach hate by telling people that you are against love. Gay people don't LOVE other gay people, they have gross sex with other gay people. Being gay is having gay sex. Which is gross. And the reason that this works so well is because conservatives already have such a tense relationship with sex, even the ’’normal’’ straight kind. It is so often seen as dirty, or simply just a biological function/necessity, not as an act of love or intimacy. When I was a kid, it was important for me to understand that gays were these permiscues, perverted people who wanted to have weird unnatural sex, and thats all they were. This is also how beastiality enters the conversation, which sounds really crazy when you don't grow up in this sort of environment. And like yes, likening gay sex to beastiality is of course crazy, but if you are taught that being gay is the same as having perverted sex, it isnt that far out for these people. My parents never looked at me and said, we don't want these two kind ladies to love each other. Don't look at that old gay couple making each other smile and laugh, look at them and think of sodomy. And hellfire. And then of course, I eventually realize that im gay, and kid me wants to shrivel up and die, because she think that this makes her a pervert. And I'm a kid right, so I'm not actually interested in sex, but still, I feel that I'm a pervert, a predator. That im sexualy deviant. And even if that's left me in the sense that I don't really think that being gay is perverted, I still FEEL that I'm being a problem, or being creepy if I like some girl. And it's not as bad as it used to be. Like at 15 I felt fluttery seeing a girl I liked smile and then immediately be hit with this sickness, as if I had just violated her, assaulted her. But yeah. Kinda wish that those who were lucky enough not to be raised like me and so many others would know more about how homophobia is taught. I mean like this is also why they don't want kids to know about gay people, bc how can you talk about gay people without going into intimate detail about how they have sex lol. 

[jinglejanglemornings]

emailed the therapist who i used to see in 2020-summer of 2021 to ask about maybe working together again and i have been obsessively checking my email for the past two days... please get back to me even if it's to say no i can't take the suspense

[fandom-blackhole]

I'm back from my mandatory two day socialization recovery period required for all socialization even if I enjoy it. It's time for some Mermaid!Din au thoughts (No thots unfortunately but we'll live)

First off I love the isolation that the reader faces because of the lighthouse they live in. And I love how the townspeople being nice to the reader help give them a reason to stick around when weird things start happening.

I love how it took months before anything strange starts happening, like were Din and Grogu just not around or were they observing the reader. Did Din ever try to stop Grogu from damaging the lighthouse or did he let the little rascal do as he pleased.

· And gosh I love the idea of reader dressing in old worn clothing, a knit sweater with fraying sleeves, sweat pants covered in paint from repairs, an old windbreaker to help keep the cold out. It makes me heart all warm and fuzzy.

Edna, who i've head cannoned as this series Miss Chatham (H2O: just add water charter) is honestly life goals. Like live near ocean - check(ish), have rare knowledge that can be used to help new person - check, being just slightly spooky -amazing. And is that a little matchmaker I see her playing? I love it.

Then Grogu being injured :( I bet that Din is absolutely being eaten alive by guilt even though we all know it’s not his fault and he does literally anything he can to keep Grogu safe and happy.

And In love how Din is venerable enough to ask for help, like he recognizes that this is something out of his area of expertise so he goes to the person he knows is “safe” to get help. He’s humble enough to admit that he needs help and is not capable of doing everything for Grogu. And being able to admit that is an important life skill that not enough people have.

· But even after he ask the reader for help he is still hesitant which shows that even though hes trusting reader he will still kick (is it still a kick if its with a tail) the readers ass if he hurts him.

“But you can help him” Oh my heart the trust in that sentence. Like Din just heard, “so yeah I can help your son but I have to take him somewhere it will be hard for you to follow. And he needs to stay there for at least a week, and even if you manage to come its going to be so far from your natural element.” But he was still on board with the plan. And then he goes to climb on the rock so he can drag himself all the way to the light house because he can’t let his little boy go alone even if it means hurting himself to do it.

Reader was smart af for doing the old blanket slipperaroo trick

Reader immediately knowing something was up when she walked into town is so realistic. She literally is hiding a massive secret at her lighthouse of course anyone would be on edge walking back into society. Especially a society that already knows a little something about the secret. But them to amplify it. Miss Chatham to the rescue. She knows that reader is up to something and she uses her powers as an old lady with lungs and karen potential to scare off the problem for a little bit. The reader just placed so much trust on Edna by straight up telling her that she's housing Din and Grogu.

· Also that fool browsing the menstrual hygiene rack, like dumbass. Is this your way of making him miss every shot? Because we know that storm troopers are well known for their ability to miss every shot so making him automatically turn to tampons? Genius

Cashier for the win, like beep beep bitch now pay up

The "cyare" omg and then the reader warning Din about the cookies and him being so curious about them. The way Din is so perceptive of the readers mood that he is already able to tell that something is wrong. It was such a smart idea to have the reader lead with asking him to give her a small chance to calm down about what happened in the town.

Din and the reader low-key flirting and teasing each other at the end is so adorable. Grogu with the cookie absolutely melts my heart like of course that boy is hungry.

So this is a slightly polished layout of my stream of consciousness while reading this. Does it make sense? Probably not. But I love this idea and you have done it justice.

Ahhhhhhz thank you for all of the lovely thoughts and compliments, im glad you like my story and I hope it continuesto meet your expectations!!!! And you made perfect sense darling!

To reply to some things:

Honestly, I chose the isolation for two reasons, 1- it made sense, especially for how the plot is going to play out, privacy and isolation is needed, and 2- im introverted and I like being alone, so I just projected

The town's people are great! They are used to having lighthouse keepers just up and leave because of all the weird stuff, so the second that one sticks around they were all overjoyed, because like I said, a lot of the people work on boats fishing so the lighthouse is super important to them

Din did wait and observe the reader, wanting to know what to do when to attempt to scare them off. But also like no, he tried keeping Grogu away from the lighthouse as much as possible, not knowing what the reader might do to him, and just being a protective father, but we all know Grogu is a little shit and he snuck out before Din could stop him

Reader dresses in the COMFIEST clothes, and honestly, I am very much a sweater and comfy leggings kind of person, so again, something I am projecting

I love that you and everyone is loving Edna, she is definitely one of those cool old ladies that sneak you treats and shenanigans when no one is looking!

Also because idk if anyone has pointed it out.... in the last chapter I thought I was heavily hinting at it, but maybe it was more subtle than I thought, Edna and her MERMAID were alot more than friends *wink wink* she's gay as fuck and thats why she made the joke about not liking NUTS

Din loves Grogu, in and out of this AU, and it was 1000% not his fault that Grogu got hurt, in fact he was trying to protect him! Din definitely panicked and the first person that came to mind was the reader, and while he didn't know them, he knew for some reason they were safe to go to for help (as well as knowing the lighthouse would be a good place to hide while some things cooled down 👀), but Din will always be cautious because he is scared for his son

Din is just *chef's kiss* 👌, an amazing father who will do ANYTHING for his son, no matter what it takes

The whole blanket thing literally came from my childhood, thinking about how my sisters and I would drag eachother around on blankets, and I just thought it would be great for this scenario

Like the reader is gonna get real paranoid during this series, im not going to lie to you, things are gonna get rough, but Edna is the MVP she's one of those people that could pull your darkest secrets from you just by glancing at you, and the reader pretty much assumed she was safe to talk to after she had informed her about the food offerings

Ok ok, as for the dudes, I was too lazy to look up their names and stuff but they were these dudes from season 1 that gave Din Grogu's bounty: the first dude is the one 'hiding' in the women's hygiene section

Din is just obsessed for human food at this point, and he feels things for the reader even of he doesn't want to admit it quite yet

Din also may be oblivious as fuck, but he's also observant, hes a bounty hunter for fucks sake, he needs to be able to pick up on these things, so yes in my stories Din is really good at picking up on emotions, even if he doesn't fully know how to react to them

Im aiming for a slow burn foc, but to be honest with you all, chances are it is going to be a regularly paced romance, which for my writing is slow paced, so yeah the idiots are flirting and teasing eachother, but also like they will not be talking about or admitting feelings for at least a few more chapters

Grpgu deserves all the cookies!!! He's a growing tadpole, who has been magically healing himself while in a coma like state, so he hasnt eaten in days, and if he wanted he'd probably be able to devour 2x his body weight and then some, so a few cookies recieved in some kind of mysterious way are well achieved

Merman!Din Tags: @writeforfandoms @ahopelessromanticwritersworld @honey-goth  @mando-abs @lux-cream-67 @rachelle-on-the-run @katcharm   @ladamari68 @bluegalaxyprime @my-life-as-a-bird @altarsw @zarakem @stargazingthenightaway

(Added the taglist in case any of you guys wanted to read over my thoughts and things bc I have some hcs and cleared somethings up ypu may be wondering about)

[denrbough]

In defense of bill denbrough

I don't have the room for screenshots (I tried to make them a gif of a slideshow but it kept crashing Tumblr bc huge files) but I'll sum up a few things I want to clear up in this

People thinking that Bill chose to be in charge of the losers to be bossy

Him wanting to leave Eddie in the sewers just because

That he was selfish

That he didn't have important problems ig?? Or that his story was uninteresting??

I want to talk about his perseverance despite a bad home life

And how the losers love him, if the losers you love can love him, you can too

And my last point is about how most people think somehow that Bill would be at all discriminatory??

I have bits and pieces from the book for all the claims and more coming below; I reread the whole book for this but kept what seemed most important to bring up

First; I'm going to start with how Bill didn't actually choose to be in charge, he didn't want to boss people around. It was clear in him and also sometimes noticed by the other losers, notably Eddie:

Eddie notices twice that the whole leadership thing is taking a major toll on Bill's physical and emotional health. That and Bill doesn't want to be the planner and the leader. He thinks he's a freak and he doesn't think he knows what he's doing. They nominated him as leader from a young age. He couldn't control that. (In order to preserve image quality and go into more detail on specific screenshots I will be making individual metas on each of my bullet points, this is just the large post where I vent my issues with the fandom perception)

Next I'd like to debunk the assumption that Bill wanted to leave Eddie in the sewers. He didn't, he wanted to come out alive with the others who still had a chance at making it. If you want further to analyze this, it can be brought up that Richie and Bev didn't want Bill to take Audra's alive body from the sewers despite us all saying Bill is the asshole for not being able to carry Eddie out.

In fact, Bev and Ben were the ones to originally suggest leaving Eddie. And to further that, Bev yelled at Bill for trying to get the living human out as well. Bev's motivations were more rushed and selfish, but Bill had the overarching goal of getting them all out.

That segways nicely into a point I'd like to make about how Bill genuinely was the most determined to kill It and not just for his own reasons, he thought of the other kids who might die several times while the other losers like to gloss over that:

When Richie went to go see the horror picture, he decided to pretend Bill's fingers hadn't almost been cut off. Put it off as a joint hallucination. And direct quote "besides there was no law saying he had to spend the next ten years thinking about it, was there? Nope"

If Bill hadn't pleaded with Richie to help, Richie would have had no intention of trying to get rid of It and save the other kids, even after Richie had to watch his friend get injured firsthand.

Stan was the same, not wanting to end up in the "nuthouse" on juniper hill. But Bill's motivation to save the town pulled even the most hesitant losers in to help.

And it's not just saving the kids from pennywise. No, he initiated a fight with Bowers not even knowing that his friends would join him and help, all to help a kid that he didn't even know. Mike Hanlon.

Not only was he the most determined, but in regards to pennywise trauma, he already had something very lasting to deal with as far as his mental health. His parents were neglectful and his brother was dead, and he kept on trying regardless. He was depressed, which is very clear in the book.

There's the point when he's getting Eddie's inhaler and it states "just as if Ben would be astounded if you asked him if he was lonely, Bill would have been likewise astounded if asked if he was courting death."

The narration makes it abundantly clear that Ben is lonely and always has been, which symbolises here that Bill is clearly suicidal, even if not actively, he does try to die/do things to harm himself with no intention of stopping.

This passage was heartbreaking. His fear in this scene was that everyone would forget about him, like his parents did, and like Georgie was gone. It's all his fault, he decides, and he thinks he deserves to be punished but he's still fully terrified of what he thinks he deserves.

In that note, his parents were neglectful, which affected him consistently in his thought process.

He wouldn't finish dinner because he couldn't stand to sit with them when they were so cold with him.

Mike mentions as adults that Bill practiced that poem so much because Bill wanted so badly for his mom to think he's a good boy. Bill cried at this, again as an adult.

He wanted to take pennywise's severed head to his parents and talk about how he'd avenged Georgie and "would they please finally talk to him"

He even thinks one point about how his parents are so caught up in their grief that he wonders if they know he's hurting, or if he's being reckless.

But unlike Sharon and Zack Denbrough. The losers were smitten with him. There's several passages of the losers talking about how much he means to them or how good he is.

Not to mention that Bill is the only one Bev told about her abusive father. She told him and he coaxed it out of her to let herself say she hated him, which is a huge turning point in the development of the way she views evil.

On a whole new thread of thought, I'd like to bring up how the fandom likes to pretend that Bill would be the most discriminatory loser?? I have a whole other meta to write about comparing losers in that way but Bill very clearly had the least ill intent towards minorities.

He met Mike and Mike was scared he'd ask questions about what it was like to be black, but Bill just asked him about baseball, and this comforted Mike. There's also when Richie is teaching Eddie about syphilis and how men and women get it from fucking, and Bill jumps in to say "unless it's two guys who are queer" and he had no malace or upset towards gay men, he just found it important to include in the conversation, which could be a nod to Bill accepting Eddie as gay, or even being mlm himself because it was a quick thought to have if it wasn't something prevalent in his life. He knows the shopkeep where he got silver the second time was gay, and was apologetic for scaring him, mentally acknowledging the hate crime

If you read this whole thing you deserve a prize for being a champ bc I'm more long winded than Stephen King himself Anna oop-

[sotorubio]

I am 100000% agreeing with you and the other commentor on everything including on why Arthur and Tiff failed, but shouldn’t that apply with 6 also? Lola was unknown except for 2 seconds in Arthurs finale but didn’t flop and I doubt the millions views are all from Elu and Daphne fans. I think topic matters also. In this example interest in white wlw is above white deaf straight boys, which is why I think Drucks new team are bringing in more white queer characters when the ex team werent interested in focusing on whiteness, and also doing a season on the light skinned bully over the fat dark skinned black victim. I saw posts last season saying how Fatou’s race was erased by white fans and seen only as gay and posts now on how characters like Ismail get to be queer when characters like Ava aren’t even headcanonned that way. I know Druck cares about telling important stories above all else, but there’s a new team and nobodys immune to racism. Just my 2 cents, really loved your answer to that ask.

hi! again a rly long answer but i thought u brought up very important points so i tried to answer w enough care for the topic, then the length always gets out of hand but i hope u don't mind

i think it can absolutely extend to lola's season too. the reason why i didn't think of adding that was probably bc lola is the first new gen character n if we think of how main characters' stories tie together it makes sense that an original character "comes out of nowhere" kind of like nora in druck did. however it's worth noting that it's not like they were incapable of including small bits abt lola in arthur's season.. after all they did know she would get a season so it's again skam france's problem of prioritizing the element of surprise over realism n impactful storytelling so yeahh based on that lola's season should absolutely fall under the same sort of criticism

but yeah ur explanations for why lola's season still got so much traffic feel very spot on. even just comparing the interest in lola's season (with mayla) vs fatou's season (with kieutou) it paints a pretty clear picture of the bias in the fandom. the point abt white fans erasing fatou's race also reminds me of this ask that i got around the time s6 was still airing. it's such a huge issue in the general skam fandom, there r so many ppl who either don't care abt the stories focused on characters of color/even more specifically black characters or then they only care when they can relate to one aspect of them (like being gay). it feels like it goes all the way back to the original Bench Scene w isak & sana n has been ongoing w the attention lola's season got as opposed to fatou's, the girlbossification of tiff n the mess w aurélien, now w the waves of empathy toward ismail as opposed to the treatment ava has received.. seems like the list just goes on

it's rly disappointing to see druck enable this path too w the change of the team. they seemed to do a pretty good job w the previous NG seasons, at least the feedback from poc in the fandom was more positive than now. feel like fans of color have already said it all better than i could so i'm not gonna discuss the issue w white queerness in detail here but i do rly agree w those points. it's already so shitty to tell the bullying storyline from the aggressor's pov n sideline the victim but the fact that the bully is light skinned n the victim is a black girl makes it all worse bc not only did they pick the light skinned bully over ava they decided to do their best to make the bully's season even whiter w all the new characters. the point abt ava never even getting headcanons like that is what rly hits :( ppl will talk their tongue off defending the fandom from the accusations of fatphobia n racism n say it's just vibes but it truly fucking isn't when it's a clear pattern

[nooradeservedbetter]

i'm very curious because i don't watch Skam but i always see Noora being hailed by the fandom as a social justice heroine and flawless angel -could you elaborate to which extent she's homophobic and a performative activist? I hardly ever see fans discuss this and it's a bit offputting

Hi anon!

To preface this answer, I want it to be clear that I love Noora. I love her as a character, I love her in ships (I ship her with… three different people? Like? If that’s not love idk what it is) and I relate to her a lot. Like when I was her age, I was a mix between Noora and Jonas, no joking. When I was her age, I was also A Shithead, and I think that a lot of her problems stem from her being 16.

That said. (Under a readmore because it’s image-heavy!)

In s2 there is one scene that makes me iffy re her lesbophobia (actually, it’s two but) and it’s about Mari, a girl that ends up having an important role but we still don’t know what when it happens.

Noora is in the bathroom putting on lipstick, Mari comes out of a stall, smiles at noora and then goes “you look sexy with that lipstick on”, not in a mean way but just. You know, nice.

[Source.]

And Noora immediately takes it off. Which can absolutely be tied to her struggle with her eating disorder and her not wanting to be seen as a sexual object, but. But then she calls her a “bitch” which is so unlike Noora and especially after she spent all her time going off at Vilde for how unfeminist she was being????

(I know it’s a bad screencap, rip.)

About her homophobia, it’s all tied to Isak’s story. I mean, I already think that Noora and Eva being obsessed with Isak’s sexuality is kinda… I guess that was the best thing they could come up with to set his role in s3? But still, it’s a bit iffy and could have been addressed. It doesn’t get addressed, they happily speculate about the sexuality of someone who’s struggling, and having lived–still living–the closet, it’s something really, really scary.

Plus:

[I’m sorry I don’t have the source of this gif bc I had it saved, if someone knows please hmu?]

This is what she says to Eva talking about Eskild hitting on a guy, like literally the same attitude as Straight Girl Emma™ saying “all gays are nice” or something. Yikes yikes yike yiks, you know.

Also she literally says to Eskild when he wants Isak’s instagram “I won’t give it to you, or you’re going to stalk him” but I don’t remember in which part of the season so I can’t take a screencap. But it was lowkey intender “because he’s a young pretty boy and you, a gay man, can’t resist that”. Ew?

After that, there’s the whole performative activism kind of mess.

In 2x05 there is a scene where Noora comes back home and finds Eskild in her room with Lito, the son of the Turkish ambassador who apparently left university to help with the refugee crisis. Eskild is trying to steal Noora’s clothes to donate them to Syrian refugees just to get into Lito’s pants (don’t let me get started on that, sigh), and Noora is–rightfully–pissed off. And the conversation goes like this:

Eskild is doing it literally just to get into Lito’s pants, and he’s moralising what he’s doing quite clearly. And yet he really gets under her skin insinuating that she doesn’t care. And she… kind of… starts to care. Or, I mean, “care”:

(Eskild doesn’t care, but it’s not like she thought about donating–or, in this case, make Eva donate–before Eskild got under her skin like that.)

And she keeps

Bringing it up

With everyone

And she acts like she has the moral high ground of this (it’s always in things like “why do you care about that when there are refugees dying? Look at me, I care about refugees!”), and in the end this happens with the Penetrators.

(There’s a text after this one who says “but only if you come to the party”. I can’t screencap it because it’s subtitled with the background conversation but. You know. She replies “you’re wrong in your head if you think i’ll come”, and he says “no that’s you. think of the refugees” and she starts bargaining on the amount.)

Someone corrects me if I’m wrong, but I think the refugee issue doesn’t get talked about again after this. (After that week in which Noora is butthurt over Eskild calling her out–and Eskild called her out because he was butthurt over the fact that she was ruining his plans to hit on someone.)(Amazing, isn’t it?)

[I’m sure there’s more instances, but these are the ones I can give you over the top of my head, I should rewatch the season to see it better, and it’s kinda triggering for me so idk if I can do it! I hope I was detailed enough tho?]

Does this mean Noora is a bad person? No, it means she’s 16 and her mind works like the mind of a 16-year-old. We can’t expect her to be mature, and we can’t hold her to the same standards we hold adults.

But also, does this mean Noora is a social justice heroine? Hell no, and it’s kinda iffy that the show doesn’t call out these attitudes. Noora is 16, but the show is made by adult people, and I hold them to higher standards than teenagers.

[chickenstuffedwithmozzarella]

Haaau. Oooh. Thats sweet. Do i really say holiii that much? I havent noticed. Okay, let's blame tumblr. It's not as if it works perfectly so...😂 Oooh, yes!! I'm in. Tag me in whatever you want. The meme of H and the lamb was hilarious. I love that comparison. Jajajajajja Gosh, can you imagine when he sings Familiar all by himself? Without JBalvin to do that part? If he sings the whole song when he comes to Spain, fans will lose it😂 (1). ((Any update of Liam the cat?))

HI!!!!! I don’t know! You have say it just a couple of times, really, but this girl says all the time and you reminded me of her, and now she reminds me of you,jejje. Honestly, that lamb is Honey! Jajajja. He’s like that too! He looks at you like: what? Do you have something to say? No? okay, bye. Jajaja. And let’s be honest, harry is very meme material,jajajajajja. (I’m so behind in his tour updates, btw. Haven’t seen anything🤦🏻‍♀️) Liam is coming in a couple of weeks? The 4th. Imagine if he sings in Spanish!!! I would die! If he does, he will do it Perfect (Perfect is capitalized bc of the song, omg). I’m sure he’s learning new words in Spanish. Hola sacapuntas, ¿como están todos? 🤣🤣🤣

Oh nono. Dont apologise. I was just laughing at myself. But thanks for the effort💖 This asks was easy to figure out. Oh, dont worry. Im more concerned about the inbox eating my asks (are they safe or are they lost? I never know) than you not answering. Really. (2)

Right? Like, you take the effort to write something and then you put it out there, without knowing if it will reach their destination or not. And at least with me, you know for sure if the ask is missing or not. But when you write people who has a lot of ask you’re like: did the ask get lost or did I say something rude? Are they ignoring me or have the blocked me??? Hjdfojriofjnoeirvjerv @staff!! Work on it!!!!

I dont like the sentence that goes “seria mucho mejor si participa”. Its nothing, but…me chirría* bcs of the possible undertone. Im very sensitive. Thats it. Though i must say that they compensate it with tge next sentence “voy a hacerte todo *lo que me permitas*”. Bcs consent!! Thats important. Oh, same. I dont usually hear anything in Spanish, mainly bcs i havent found anything that i like. Oh, you have almost the whole week free? Thats good!! (3) *i cant think of how to translate it xd

Jo, I haven’t read the lyrics yet (sorry Liam, I’m a very busy person,😅), but yes, you might be right. That sentence… if she isn’t participating… what are you doing then? And yes, that other sentence is better. I have to take my work (as a fan,lol) more seriously. Sdicsjdlncinsldcnlcjvls LOUIS JUST TWEETED LIAM???? Jfdbhkdbffvdfkv WHAT IS HAPPENING!!!!No, but my friends are idiots, jajajja, because I like a lot of Spanish music, actually. Like from the 80s and such,jajajajaj. And once, we were watching OT el reencuentro, and I knew all the songs and they wouldn’t stop teasing me, jajajaj. And o was like: see?? I like Spanish music. OLD Spanish music. Now, even Bisbal sings reguetón 🤦🏻‍♀️.I have to babysit my cousin on Wednesdays starting this week, so good. Bc I only work on Tuesdays and weekends. And someone else have offered me to babysit their children occasionally, so good good. More money for me to spend on the boys.

No idea what is Terra Chat. I guess i was too young? But i do remember messenger! You talked for 6h each day? Thats insane! I could not talk for so many hours. I would run out of topics or something. First time you failed anything, and you 6? Wow. Go big or go home, right? Jajajajaja. Luckily i dont think i’ve ever had any problem with the internet🤔. Its a lifesaver, really. (4)

Seriously, Terra’s chat was the boom back them, jajajja. But I was like 15, so maybe you were still starting to walk, jajajaa (I DON’T KNOW!!)? And yes we would talk for 6h every day. I would eat dinner at my computer, the days I would eat something at all. I lost 4kg the first week I started talking with him,jajajaja. IT WAS TRUE LOVE 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 (gaaa, I used to be the most embarrassing teenager you can imagine,jajaja (haven’t change much, I admit)) [philosophy moment of the day] Kids from today’s day should know the struggle to not be able to text every moment of every day. Having to compact your words into 180(?) caracteres, bc you only could send a text, and it costed money! EVERY. TEXT! Uffff, that gives personality to someone,jajaja. They have so easy to communicate these days😌. [end of philosophy moment]

You also have a JHO shirt????😍😍😍😍 one shirt for each? Well then, 2 more to go. I’ll swear, someday i’ll get myself something like that. What?! You didnt like Niall??? Soraya!! How so? He was lovely! Yes!! He (& his team) is doing so good! He’s conquering the world and im here for it. And also, his new dressing style is a blessing. I love the trousers he wears for the shows. He looks really handsome😍 (5)

The better part of them putting out they’re careers at different times is that you don’t notice you’re spending so much money,jajaja. Because everything is so expensive!!!! Don’t remind me, I’m ashamed I didn’t like him. 🤦🏻‍♀️. It’s not that I didn’t like like him. I just didn’t see anything special about him?? How??? Was I blind??? Probably! But now I just jsdkhfiowjefijowef  love everything about him. And yes, absolutely yes no his new style. I can’t wait to see him in person, omg!!! I’m so excited already, jajajaja.

Over again? Listen, can you belive that i discovered very recently that when they sang “hole in the middle of my heart like a polo” there werent talking about shirts?!! I used to hate that sentence bcs it made no sense to me! But they are talking about candys!! Of course. Solo songs. How did i forget?? Small stage? Mymy. You are a genius😂 Oh cool. I know nothing about cameras, but this one has an impressive name. JAJAJA. (6)

Jajajajajaja, I was shocked too when I knew about that too!  Jajajaja, I remember thinking, oh that’s makes much more sense that a shirt with a hole??? Jajajajajja. But I love that song live, seriously. You’d have to hear me and see me the concerts I perform in my car!!!  🤣🤣🤣🤣. I lose it with that song! My dream? To drive for 5-6-7 hours singing every 1d and solo songs, singing (screaming) every song, and with other four friends/fans. That’s my dream. Jajajaja. No dram job. No being rich. No nothing. Just singing 1d songs, jjajajaja.

Okaaay. I will call you if necessary. Same goes for you. JBieber and Zayn? What about them? Are they making a colabo or something? Are you asking about my toughts on them?? Sorry. Im a bit lost. (7)

No god, how could you Thing they would be collaborating, 😖, jajajajaa. No no. Your thoughts on them. Nah, I asked be I was going to tell you things my mom says about them, but I don’t want to offend you if you like them, jejeje.

Guess what. My friend (who is the most up-to-date on pop culture and music, and the one i always tell my theories to) called me yesterday “la reina del ocultismo”. (Just bcs i said that Shawn latest song sounded queer to me). JAJAJAJAJAJA. Anyway, I felt so proud. I might be crazy, but at least i have cool name. And i dont get bored🤷 (8)

LA REINA DEL OCULTISMO!!! Oh yes!!!! Jajajajajaa. Hey, I don’t follow very close Shawn, just what I see in my dash, or I’ve hear the songs they play on radio, but girl!!! He so gay!!! (And I don’t want to be offensive, okay? Offensive as in assuming he’s gay or something (wow, they just started playing It Isn’t in My Blood by Shawn,jajja) just because stereotypes). I saw and interview the other day, and he’s stance…mymy. But, well, again, I don’t know anything about him. “I might be crazy, […]And i dont get bored” #aboutme, jajjaja. And, please, share you’re crazy theories with me!!! Jajaja

YES YES YES. Of course i read fics. I read them everywhere, shamelessly. On the train, on the subway, at college, at family dinners (that one was risky, i must admit). JAJAJA. But sadly i have too many fics on the “to read” list. Bcs i dont feel like reading something with the length of a book on the phone, and also bcs once i start i cant stop until im done, so its quite inconvenient if i have to study. So, yes. I read them. What were you reading yesterday??? (9)

Same!! I read fics everywhere. I don’t worry to much about my family knowing I’m reading, bc no one understands English. But I freak out every time I let my iPad with a fic opened, bc they can see Harry’s or Louis’ name and I don’t want them to know I’m reading about them,😅😅. I run out of fics to read sometimes! That’s how much I read, jajajja. They’re always part of my bedtime routine, jajajjajaa. And, well, I was reading a fic, I liked it a lot, but I checked the author and she’s a bit “questionable”, so… I’ll reserve my opinion, if you don’t mind. I read someone’s opinion on the fact that people write stories about Harry and Louis, but then they don’t think they’re gay (as in part of LGBT+ community), and believe Louis is a dad, and all the rest. And they said why that is wrong, bc they’re fetishizing gay relationships. And it made sense. And if a queer person (I don’t know if I can use that word, sorry) says that, I have to believe it, y'know. So, when I read a fic from an author I don’t know, I check their blog, just to see. And I saw that, so I won’t be sharing the fic, sorry (which is a pity, but… 🤷🏻‍♀️)

Yeah. It was totally predictable. I know know. But…he looked cute. Well rested. Happy. And we had been deprived for too long so it was a gift to see him again. Thats it for tonight. Sleep well😙 (10)

He always looks well rested after a few days with his boy,jajajaj. I can’t wait to see what the future has planed for him. And also, I’m so curious about this new LiLo thing 🤔🤔. What’s all about? They now tweet each other. Liam talks about him all the time… we’ll see, we’ll see.

Well, that was a productive morning shift, jajaja. I’ve been almost 4h writing this,jajajajaa. The whole morning! Now, I have to check everything is correct before I close to go for lunch,jajajja. Thank youuuu. Bye bye!!

Pd: waaaa, I almost forget about my limo (liam,jajja). Well, I was going to bed, but before it I looked out the window, and called him. I was calling for a good half an hour. And then a black cat appeared, and I thought hey! they are coming! Then another black and wait cat came. And I didn’t stop calling Liam. And HE CAME!!! He came to my window, where Honey and I were. And I told him to jump, but his so fat… jajajjaa. So I called at my house phone so my mom would go to open the backdoor, and I went out from the front door. And when I reached my window he was up there, but he couldn’t go in, bc I had closed it, so Honey wouldn’t go out. And he jumped and went to the back door to wait for my mom no open the door, and then he run and run till my room, jajajaj, to see if there was food in his bowl. And, just that. They I “bath” him. And gave him a pill to desparasitarle(?), and put him a collar para las pulgas? Jajaja. And then I feed him. He was exhausted and hungry. My poor boy. I don’t know why he keeps going ou, if he doesn’t like it,jejeje.  Honey kept smelling him bc he smelled different, just FOR A DAY OUT!! (Jo, hablo TANTO!!!) Thanks for asking, love.