#and she was like ‘no just text me when your free!’ oops sorry I deeply apologize but I’m never going to be free ever!

[gatorinator]

I’ve been having a lot of struggles with my energy, sleeping, and mood swings. Ive been struggling with my mental healt for a while, but it’s finally to a point where I’m just frustrated that I can’t seem to have the energy to do things. I keep saying I think I should see a physician, but I think my mom really struggled with my brother and getting him on the right medication, so now she’s wary of pills. She’s also super into the organic/natural side of Instagram.

Now, that’s not necessarily a bad thing. I do agree with her on some of things, and I don’t think it hurts to drink dandelion tea to detox and eat sourcroute on my salads to help my liver. However sometimes I trust my mom a little tooo much (one of her favorite Instagram accounts started posting about moon meditation and like. Bruh. Meditation is great, but I’m sorry the moon isn’t charging u.

Anyways she signed me up for this foot zoning account and talked about how she knew people who had it done and who were raving about it and so I was down. And then I got a confirmation text for the appointment and.

Ooo? What’s sun water? I love drinking beverages!

Oh it’s. It’s water that’s sat in the—it’s. What? Lukewarm water? That sat outside?

So then I’m like “well shoot, if this chick is offering me sun water, what am I paying for? Is it even legit?”

So I check the website and.

Uh oh!! There’s a lot I’m not crazy about in the picture, mainly what it seems to imply about the foot zoning…community?? Idk. What even is foot zoning?? It’s like a foot massage, and according to every wellness site and half rate foot zoner, it’s gonna fix all your problems (RED FLAG) so then I try searching “is foot zoning legit” and. Well.

No it’s not. Listen I’m all for alternate treatments and natural things, I use super granola deodorant and I drink lemon ginger water. And I don’t think that being witchy is bad. I think a lot of things that can help you meditate and focus your mind are inherently good, and even if I don’t think your crystals are charged by the moon, I think that having a little ritual and something to uplift you is great!

But I’m not spending $200 on a foot massage? Like at that point just give me a full body massage—an actual massage, not focused on whatever spots supposedly effect my organs.

ANYWAYS I love my mother but this has been a lesson on the importance of doing my own research. I’m going to go home and give myself a foot massage and drink COLD WATER and burn a candle and pretend I think that it will heal me.

[julyarchives]

Don’t You Hear Me Howling? || (M) || 08

Finding out you are a female Alpha sparkled some rivalry inside your pack, and resulted in you losing your best friend and your life turning upsidedown, so leaving for college was the fresh start you needed. Years later, you are about to finish your degree and suddenly this past comes back to mess with your head.

→ Pairing: Yeo One x Female Reader | Kino x Female Reader

→ Genre: A/B/O AU; Omegaverse; College AU.

→ Words:  3.8K

→ Contains: mentions of alcohol; wolf shifting; some Alpha-Alpha tension; Y/N making out with a special guest 👀; smut; Jealousy

→ A/n: Thus was supposed to be posted yesterday, but we sort of got lost in the calendar, so here it is now (oops?) we hope it isn't too lame and you guys like it! Also, as mentioned in the warning, there is a special appearance heheh.

→ Index: 01 • 02 • 03 • 04 • 05 • 06 • 07 • 08

As much fun and easygoing as things were for you, you felt glad for the holidays break. You got out of the cab and breathed in deeply, inhaling the scent of the reservation forest that boarded the neighborhood.

Every year your pack has their own ritual to celebrate your ancestors during the holiday, and you were actually looking forward to participating this year, after missing it since you started college, for many personal reasons - and one of them included a very difficult talk with your parents. Also, so much has happened this semester that being in the small city allowed you to breathe some fresh air and organize your thoughts.

Your parent’s received you immediately as you went through the front door, with big hugs and wide smiles.

“It’s so good to have you home” your mom patted your head, her small frame making her reach high to do so.

“Let me take your stuff to your room” Your dad grabbed your luggage and turned around to take them upstairs

“Oh, it’s fine, I can take them” You tried to stop him, but he pretended he didn’t listen. But you knew he loved feeling like the man of the house. You redirected yourself to your mom “I think I could use a shower and a nap, the trip was too long.”

“Of course, honey, I’ll call you for lunch.”

You crossed paths with your dad in the doorway, who offered a small smile. He wasn’t very fond of small talk, so that was usual of him. You closed the door behind you and sat on the edge of the twin bed centered on the room. You looked around and took in the scent of your old home, which immediately brought back so many memories.

Before you left for college, you and Changgu were on bad terms, so there weren't pictures of you together anymore, but you could still see the tape marks on where they used to be glued on your old vanity mirror. You also remembered perfectly which drawer you have tucked them away, the one that you were currently staring at, contemplating taking a look at them. In the end, you just shook the idea off of you and followed what you’ve told your mom.

The day was rather quiet and peaceful, the big event being held in the night, and the talk you were dreading could wait after the celebrations. Your parents had visited you in college a couple of times, and you have visited them too, but it was rare, never for the holidays, so they prepared a special family lunch and you couldn’t deny that you had a good time being around them.

All the pack had gathered in a big clearing at night to celebrate, and the bonfire already burned high. You could feel all the attention shifting to you as you arrived, your dominant scent overpowering everyone else's, and you held yourself high.

The day you left the city you promised yourself to never get close to this pack again. They’ve ignored you and diminished you as an Alpha, and you knew this place wasn’t for you. They were all surprised to see you back, they could barely hide it, but every time you made eye contact with someone, they quickly turned away avoiding you.

You didn’t hide, not ashamed of you or your choices, but it was rather uncomfortable, the tension almost palpable in the air. You quickly grabbed your phone and texted Wooseok.

“ Please tell me you headed back town for the holidays”

To which he quickly replied

“I actually came to a friend’s house, I’m not there, sorry :(“

You sighed. The cold weather wasn’t so bad, the cool breeze was blowing softly and the fire kept the place warm if you got close enough. Your parents stopped along the way to say hi to their friends, but you followed closer to the bonfire, where your eyes quickly met the current Alpha.

For a moment you had forgotten he was Changgu’s father, but seeing him immediately brought the information back to you. They looked alike so much, the same eyes full of expression and sharp jawline. He was staring at you, not so happily, and nodded when you looked at him. Your expression could be sour, you weren’t sure how much you were holding back, but you respectfully nodded back.

He sustained the stare a couple more seconds, so did you, but soon he was calling everyone’s attention. Everyone gathered close and his wife stood by his side. That’s when you saw Changgu, getting close to his father with a stoic expression on his face.

You shoved your hands in the pocket of your jacket and offered a half-smile when he noticed you. At first, he seemed confused but returned the gesture

“Brothers and sisters” The senior Alpha called “tonight we celebrate the ones who have left us. Our ancestors passed us their wisdom,” He spoke firmly and slowly, looking around at everyone. “Their strength lives in us, and so we honor them with our nature.”

There was a long speech about union and tradition that to you it sounded too much like hypocrisy since the traditions would include you, supposedly the next Alpha of the pack, to be standing there as a successor. You did not bother, because you expected nothing else.

The leader of the pack was the first to turn. His skin shredded, giving space for the long dark brown and silver fur to grow as a howl echoed loudly, bringing out everyone’s instinct, but especially your Alpha ones, and soon you had shifted.

This was one of the reasons you wanted to come. Being in university has you taking suppressants daily, so letting yourself run free was like getting rid of tight clothes that restricted your movements. You howled loudly to follow the collective chant, an ode to the departed ones, a hymn for the pack, the freedom of instinct.

The pack’s Alpha ran in the front, leading everyone with his big frame. Changgu followed him, and it’s been so many years since you’ve seen his wolf form that you felt surprised. He was bulky and big, his posture very imponent, and you stopped to admire it for a second.

The run was freeing. The wind hiding your wolf nozzle, pushing your fur back, your paws hitting the dirt. You needed that, and just letting yourself act on your instincts was the best thing you could grant yourself at that moment.

Reaching the highest point of the forest, the collective howling restarted. You stopped right next to Changgu, whose wolf eyes watched you intently, and in wordless communication, you howled together, allowing the instinct to speak for yourselves.

…

After the traditional pack run, a feast was hosted by the Alpha, usually in his house, which was big enough to fit everyone comfortably in the large backyard.

Everyone happily celebrated what was the closest to a wolf Christmas, with an abundance of food for everyone. You sat with your parents at the assigned table, attending the event quietly, holding yourself back just enough to not drag any more attention than you were already getting. Mr. Yeo, the Alpha, customarily greeted every individual, and when he approached you and your family, you stood up and bowed respectfully.

"Thank you for having us" your father shook his hands

"It's my pleasure," Mr. Yeo politely answered, "I didn't expect your daughter to come."

He talked about you like you weren't there, and you were pretty sure that was purposefully meant to challenge your position.

"I came to pay respects to the tradition, sir" you opened a forced smile. A damn good one. "Can't let that behind me."

His eyes snapped in your direction with intensity, letting the impassive expression on his face falter for a second.

"Of course" he smoldered, masking it with a smile probably just as fake as yours.

To him, you represented a threat to his family's legacy, so it wasn't a big secret that he isn't very fond of you.

"I hope you enjoy the party," he said to you and your parents altogether, but redirected the last sentence at you "if there's anything you need, just tell me and I can provide."

"Of course, thank you so much" your mom answered gladly. She followed her leader with passion and always tried to be in good graces with him, so she's always been strict in the sense of community tradition and formalities.

"No need to thank me, ma'am" he smirked "that's just an Alpha job"

The provocation was like a punch in the gut. Ever since you were revealed an Alpha, Mr. Yeo tried to do everything in his power to deprive you of your given rights inside the pack. He raised Changgu to take his place and hated your guts for ruining his plans. He was a man of power and didn't appreciate when someone threatened that position.

"Y/N…" your mom called you with a warning tone to her voice.

You didn't notice how you were instinctively growling, low enough for only people close to the table to hear, but your Alpha emotion was strong enough to cause some heads to turn in your direction.

Mr. Yeo, of course, smiled in victory from a distance, happy to make you look bad in front of the community.

"You really don't care that he does everything to undermine me, do you?" You said to both of your parents.

"Honey, he's the Alpha." Your mom said calmly "everything he does is to protect you. Is the best for everyone."

"You do know I'm an Alpha too, right?" You scoffed, rolling your eyes.

They both stayed quiet. You looked at your dad, hoping he would say something in your favor, but he just complies with your mom's orderly silence.

"Yeah, thanks," you said, standing up and leaving.

Growing up you used to love being with your pack these kinds of celebrations were your favorite time of the year.  But now everything changed and suddenly you felt so misplaced that you felt like you didn't know anyone anymore. You knew all your neighbors, and their kids who went to school with you, but now they were almost complete strangers to you.

You grabbed a bottle of beer and looked around for the only familiar face you could find there. Changgu was not running Alpha errands with his dad, so when you found him he was surrounded by a group of girls, apparently younger than you, swooning at every charming smile of his, and you could just see how much he adored all the attention. You chuckled at his fuckboy attitude and the poor deluded girls who had a crush on him, hoping to get the son of the Alpha in love with them.

"Y/n?" You heard your name being called, taking you always from your thoughts.

The boy who called you was tall and slim, a long-ish hair half up in a ponytail and he looked happy to see you.

"Hey…?" You said with uncertainty, trying to figure out why he looked so familiar, but you just couldn't remember his name

"Hyunjin" he chuckled "I don't know if you remember me, but we went to school together."

"Right, Hyunjin, of course, I remember!" It finally clicked to you. Hyunjin was an omega, a few years younger than you but you two used to share some clubs in high school, but he didn't look so… hot. "You look so different, sorry it took me a while to recognize you."

"Yeah," he laughed shyly, scratching the back of his head. "I haven't seen you since you left for college. You look great"

His flirtatious half-smirk was very obvious and you actually thought he looked quite cute.

"You look great yourself" you bit your bottom lip, looking him up and down "But yeah, I kind of focused on graduating rather than coming here."

"I'm glad you're here now." He fully smirked this time "wanna go somewhere quieter? I'd love to catch up with you"

You felt hesitant at first, and you looked back to find Changgu again, and this time one of the girls was grabbing his arm, running his hand all over it. You wanted company for the party, and since Changgu was busy flirting, why shouldn't you do the same?

"Of course, let's do it." You took one last sip of your beer and linked arms with him.

He guided you around the house to the front porch, where you rested your elbows and watched the quiet street. Hyunjin had his back against it, looking at you.

You two actually did some catching up, and even exchanged numbers. You found out Hyunjin also went away for college, but he always came back for the holidays and breaks, and stuff like that, but nothing you were really paying attention to.

"You know, I have to confess something." He said, straightening his posture "I sort of had a crush on you, back in the days"

"Really?" You laughed softly, amused at the sudden confession. "Why didn't you say something, then?"

"Ah," he clicked his tongue. "Everyone knew you only had eyes for Changgu."

You rolled your eyes involuntarily.

"C'mon, everyone knew that, and Changgu didn't let anyone get close to you"

You were actually surprised to hear that since this wasn't something he ever told you but explained why you weren't popular with boys in high school.

"Well," you stood up and stopped directly in front of him "I don't see Changgu anywhere now, do you?"

Hyunjin grabbed your waist, pulling you closer to him, and your hands held the collar of his jacket.

"I guess I should shoot my shot, then" he licked his lips, alternating looks between your eyes and lips.

"What are you waiting for, big boy?" You challenged him.

He reached forward, kissing you rather urgently. His plumpy lips felt soft against yours, and he was a really good kisser. He pulled you against him, and you intertwined your fingers on the loose hair behind his neck. He gasped when you tugged on it, and you grinned into the kiss for getting a good reaction out of him. His hands sneaked down your waist, boldly squeezing your ass as the kiss got more intense, and he earned a shy hum of satisfaction out of you.

The noise of someone clearing their throat interrupted you two, making both of your heads snap in its direction, but neither of you really letting go of each other.

"Y/N" Changgu called you rather sternly, with a matching frown on his face. "I need you to help me deal with some stuff"

You sighed.

"Looks like some things didn't change, did they?" Hyunjin whispered just for you to hear,

"I'm not done with you yet." You whispered back, nibbling his earlobe.

"Now." Changgu interrupted again.

You pecked Hyunjin's lips before detangling from him, only then noticing that his hands were still in your ass.

"Text me, ok?" You said to him loudly as you followed Changgu inside the house.

He walked large steps and didn't bother looking behind to see if you were following.

"You couldn't have picked a worse moment to need me to deal with some bullshit, could you?" You whined, but he still paid no attention to you "all night, I was there doing absolutely nothing, and when I finally started to have some fun you decided I was important enough to attend whatever this is."

You babbled but still, he didn't respond, and you just kept following him around corridors in the big house, finally entering a dark room

"What is so important anyway that you had to call me so urgently-"

Changgu interrupted you when he pushed you against the door, making it slam loudly, his lips crashing against yours with a certain vigor.

At first, your eyes widened in surprise, and you pushed him back to look at him, but his hold on you didn't loosen up.

"What the fuck, Changgu?"

"Just," he stopped to think, breath already heavy in anticipation "shut up"

He resumed kissing you, and this time you rolled with it because, you couldn't deny, kissing him was something you ever saw yourself getting tired of. He pressed his whole body against yours, grinding on you making you gasp every time his thigh in between your legs rubbed against your clothed core.

"Fuck, Changgu" you said when he attacked your neck.

You pull the hair on his nape, making him look at you

"Is that what this is about?" You asked, forcing yourself to think straight "you can't bear the thought of me fucking someone else?"

Rather than answering, Changgu just growled, making you laugh ironically

"So you can flirt with all those pretty girls out there," you raised your eyebrows, "but I can not hook up with people? As if, Changgu"

You weren't as mad as much as you were enjoying taunting him for being so desperate to have you his.

"Just shut up, for fucks sake" he rolled his eyes and picked you, only to throw you on the bed behind him.

You finally recognized Changgu's old bedroom, with the light that came from the window above it. It was different, with no more posters taped to the wall or the action figures he liked to collect. It was a simple room with minimal decoration now.

"Gonna break another bed, wolfie?" You teased "I don't think daddy would be very happy to know you're fooling around with the Alpha"

He growled loudly, hooking his hands around your legs and pulling you closer to him, your bottom hitting his knees, which were pressed against the mattress. He leaned down and viciously kissed you, nibbling and ducking your bottom lip.

"You know, you're way hotter when your mouth is shut" he panted in between kisses.

Having turned into wolves mere hours ago had all your instincts right under the skin. The dominance, the connection between you and your Beta, the lust. Everything was on edge and you guessed that's why Changgu was so desperate.

He unbuttoned your jeans and pulled them down with your underwear in one swift motion while you took off your shirt, revealing your bare breasts underneath it. Changgu licked his lips and chuckled cockly when he ran a finger down your slit, showing you how wet you already were.

He took his shirt off, but didn't bother with his pants, and leaned back down to lick a long stripe of your juices, brushing softly on your clit on the way.

You moaned weakly.

"I'll show you why you're better here than with the what's-his-name out there." He said in a low husky voice.

He kept his hand around your legs and captured your sensitive nub in between his lips, making you buck your hips and grab his hair in response.

His back muscles were on display for you and it was hot to watch it contract and relax as he moved in between your legs.

"You're so eager for me, aren't you?" You teased him again and he hummed, sending vibrations down your core. "Do your worst, let me see if you're worth my time"

He leaned back up and you hated the loss of contact, but he quickly spun you around and pulled your hips up exposing your ass to him, and a harsh slap sting on your skin, accompanied by his deep growling that he didn't seem to have control over, and you yelped at the burning pain.

You heard him fumbling with his belt and soon he was entering you with no warning, making you bury your head in the pillow to muffle a loud moan. He didn't give you any time to adjust as he pounded into you fast, showing his desperation. He angled his hips just right to hit the perfect spot inside you to make you scream.

For a second you were afraid someone would hear you, but the backyard was not that close to the bedroom, and you tried to suppress your noises the best you could. Changgu seemed to be out of control with the way he hissed and moaned, your name falling out of his lips here and there.

A sloppy rushed fuck was not on your plans tonight but, fuck, it felt good. Changgu was getting sloppier by the minute and you just knew he wouldn't last long. You reached in between your legs and circled around your glistening clit, realizing you were in no better state than he was.

The closer you felt to your high, the more you squeezed your walls around Changgu's member, and the louder he moaned.

"Are you trying to get us caught?" You managed to say "such a loud wolf."

He didn't respond, too focused on fucking you, but he didn't get quieter.

You fastened your movements and had again your head buried in the pillow, moaning freely as you reached your orgasm, your whole body vibrating in pleasure. Changgu started thrusting faster, gripping your hips harder and pulling you against him to meet his thrust, and soon enough you felt his seed dripping down your thighs, strangled noises caught in his throat as he rode his high.

You relaxed your body when he pulled out of you, laying down with your stomach against the mattress, crossing your arms under your head for support. Changgu threw himself by your side, facing the ceiling and panting, looking fucked out already.

"Jealous wolf, aren't we?" You tapped his chest, provoking him

"Shut up" he chuckled

"How many girls did you fuck in this bedroom anyway? You were quite popular with the ladies back in high school. I bet they all died to be in Yeo Changgu's bedroom" you mocked a dreamy-girly voice.

"Do you really want to talk about who I fucked in high school?" He chuckled.

"Well, someone had to get laid, right? Since I couldn't because someone told boys to stay away from me." You smirked at his embarrassed expression

"Hyunjin is such a snitch, he was never good enough for you" he rolled his eyes and looked away.

"And who is? You?" You scoffed

"I didn't hear you complaining when you were screaming against the pillow just now"

You slapped his chest and he laughed loudly

"Jerk" you mumbled.

"Guess you can go back to your pretty boy out there", he said in a teasing voice, "if you're still interested, that is".

"So cocky, aren't you?", he laughed at your mocking expression.

"Maybe. But we still have festivities to attend".

"Unfortunately".

You got dressed in comfortable silence and after a few minutes, you were good to go. Changgu stood by the door and smiled at you before opening it and waving for you to walk by him. As you walked out, a satisfied smile took over your face and you only hoped people wouldn't notice the smell of sex on you too much. You and Changgu parted ways and for a second you let the whole tension of your body relax during the holiday. Just for a while.

[floatingpetals]

What Have I Done? || Epilogue

Pairings: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Warnings: Mentions of past traumas, fluff(Is that really a warning tho?)

Word Count: 3900+

Summary: A bad break up between Bucky and his ex leads to a new friendship with the quiet tech he never had the chance to get to know. Relationships grow, feelings are caught, and boundaries are explored. Bucky thought he found his happy ending, but old memories haunt his future. He knows what he’s doing wrong, dangerous even, but he can’t help it. Can he fix the wrongs he’s done? -a requested story for @iheartsebastianstan​

**THIS IS AN 18+ STORY, SO PLEASE NO MINORS!

A/N: And I oop-. This has been a long time coming, huh? Thank you for everyone being so incredibly patient with me. I hated how long I’ve been fighting this, don’t know why it was so hard to finish either. I hope you all enjoy the last bit of their story! Let me know what you think and enjoy!!

Gif is not mine, credit to the creator. text dividers credit: @writeyourmindaway​​

Chapter 12 | Epilogue | Series Masterlist

Six months later:

“Come on Wolf!”

Bucky chuckled at the shout from outside the little oasis he’d been living in the past six months and zipped up his bag with the last of his things. Even though he was excited, there was the bubbling apprehension that was festering in the pit of his stomach. Today was the day. The day he was given clearance from his therapists to go back to the compound and restart his life.

“The jets not going to wait forever for you!”

Bucky fondly rolled his eyes and threw the bag over his shoulder before he shot one last look over the room. Sighing softly, he headed towards the door.

“I’m coming. Chill.” He shouted back.

Shuri leaned against a fence post outside, flipping through her holographic messages. When Bucky opened the door, she glanced up and swiped the message clear. She beamed and pushed off the post.

“Finally. I thought I was going to have drag you out by your ear.” She smirked.

“Hey, the only person who can do that is my mother or sister, and I’m pretty sure you’re neither.” Bucky shook his head and brushed passed her. Shuri giggled and skipped alongside him, her arms clasped behind her back with her trademark smirk.

“I would say I’m a little offended you don’t see me as your little sister after all we’ve been through. You keep coming back no matter how many times I scare you off.” Shuri teased, nudging Bucky’s side with her elbow.

Bucky laughed and shook his head. Over the past six months, Bucky had grown closer to Shuri than he had been before. He’d spend hours at her lab, letting her tinker on his arm between his trips to therapy sessions and helping the farmers in the fields. Her cheer and sarcastic attitude was something he didn’t know he needed. She helped make things easier dealing with the separation from the people he loved back home and dealing with the trauma he’d gone through. It was like she was his own personal cheerleader who was willing to smack him in the back of the head when he’d go too deep in his dark thoughts. She didn’t let him get away with much. Anything, really.

Therapy itself was exhausting but also life-altering. There wasn’t one second where he doubted his decision to come here. He needed this. If he hadn’t gotten help when he did, Bucky feared to know where he would have been. There was no doubt in his mind things would have gotten worse and everything he loved, even the woman he cherished, would have abandoned him without a backward glance.

Now though, he knew what went wrong. He knew he wasn’t anything Vivian said to him. He was important, he did mean something to several people. And he still tangled occasionally with this, he acknowledged he isn’t a monster. He never was and now he could finally breathe easier. The little voices in the back of his head weren’t gone, of course, the therapist told him they’d never truly be gone, but now he knew how to separate them from the truth. 

Their only goal was to bring him down, to tear him and all his hard work to pieces. And now he had the tools to fight back. He’d still have therapy once a week, Bucky wasn’t completely ready to give that up yet, but they could easily be done over the phone or by video call now. He no longer needed to be here.

“Are you excited about going back?” Shuri asked, pulling Bucky back to the present. He hummed and nodded, despite the butterflies in his stomach. Shuri narrowed her eyes at him, catching the hesitancy in his lackluster reply. “That’s not a very convincing answer, Sargent.”

Bucky exhaled loudly and ran his metal hand through his hair. He knew what she really meant; he just didn’t want to answer it. Truthfully, he was terrified. A long time had passed since he left. Things have changed, and he hadn’t left on a positive note. There was a high chance Y/N took his words to heart and moved on. Bucky wouldn’t blame her. He treated her like she was nothing more than a possession. Y/N deserved better than that. Nevertheless, it didn’t stop him from hoping she might give him another chance.

“Bucky.” Shuri stopped in front of him, her face serious. Bucky blinked. “You don’t have to go so soon if you need more time. You were just cleared today. We would understand if you needed to stay and you’re always welcomed here.”

Warmth bubbled in Bucky’s chest, a tiny smile spreading on his lips. It felt nice to be welcomed somewhere. Everyone here greeted him with open arms. This was his second home and as much as he would love to stay, he needed to go home to his first. He couldn’t hide forever.

Inhaling deeply, Bucky let out a steady breath and smiled widely. For the first time in forever, Bucky felt light and free. Yes, he was ready and optimistic about whatever the future held.

“Yeah.” Bucky beamed, his happiness shining in his eyes. “I’m ready to go home.”

“Requesting clearance for landing.”

Bucky buckled in his seat, inhaling nervously through his nose as Okoye made her decent. There was a frustrated grumble on the intercom that brought an amused smirk to his face.

“Oh for the- Just land the damn jet.” Tony huffed through the speaker. Bucky shot a curious glance over to where Okoye sat at the helm. She had an amused smirk on her face and winked at Bucky when she caught him staring. Bucky laughed, realizing it wasn’t because she was going by the book, not in the slightest. Apparently, not even she was above riling up Tony.

As the jet began its descent, Bucky felt the nerves in the pit of his stomach increase with each passing second. There was no turning back now, he couldn’t run away if he wanted to. Besides, Okoye wouldn’t hesitate to drag him by the back of his neck if he tried to bolt. Not that he would.

After a smooth landing, Bucky shakily stood to go to his bag. He’s been on missions where he might never return home from, faced villains that would turn anyone’s blood cold, but this- seeing everyone after how he left things. This was terrifying. He tried to tamp down his nerves and push aside the bubble of uncertainty that rose in his throat.  

“I hope you don’t mind. Peter and his friends have invited me out to go see a movie.” He heard Shuri say to her brother. T’challa hummed and walked to the ramp as it lowered.

“I expected you to leave. Take Okoye.” He replied. Bucky slung his bag over his shoulder, grinning wide at the whine from Shuri and the frustrated scoff that came Okoye.

“I’m sorry. Would I be a buzzkill, your majesty?” Okoye asked tartly. Bucky walked up behind them to follow down the ramp, his grip tight on the handles to his bag. Shuri rolled her eyes and sent the older woman an annoyed glare.

“I’m not a child.” Shuri argued. “I don’t need a baby sister.”

“And yet, you were the one that filled the throne room with the chickens that took half the staff and me the entire day collecting.” T’challa replied simply, completely unfazed. Bucky snickered. He might have helped with a few chickens. “Consider this payback for the chicken shit we were covered in.”

Bucky turned to the laugh at the bottom of the ramp, spotting three faces he worried seeing and quickly looked at his feet. Tony stood at the bottom of the ramp, hearing the argument and smirked at the two siblings. Beside him stood Steve and Natasha, both looking excited and happy to see everyone. Bucky couldn’t meet any of their eyes, still too nervous that they harbored some resentment from him. 

He hadn’t spoken to any of them since he left, both he and the others agreeing that contact would be nonexistent until he was given the okay. T’challa would occasionally let them know how Bucky was doing, but it wasn’t often. He was supposed to tell them he was coming home, but he couldn’t even find the courage to pick up the phone. Instead, he sent a short email of the news and left it at that. An email, he scoffed to himself. I couldn’t even send them a text.

T’challa stepped away from his sister and greeted Tony with a wide smile and clasped the man’s offered hand in a shake. Bucky heard them say their hellos, a few snips between siblings thrown in here and there. Hesitantly, he raised his eyes to look them over and noticed there wasn’t the one person he hoped would be there. His heart dropped. Y/N was nowhere to be found. T’challa walked off with Tony and Natasha, his sister and Okoye following close behind, leaving Bucky alone with Steve.

Steve waited for Bucky, his hands tucked in his pocket and a gentle smile on his face. Bucky stopped at the bottom of the ramp, his feet refusing to take the last step off.

“How ya doin’ pal?” Steve asked, his voice void of malice and resentment. In fact, he sounded happy to see him. It surprised Bucky. Of all people he expected to hold the grudge, he expected Steve to keep a firm grip on that. Blinking, Bucky swallowed and nodded.

“I’m doing better.” He mumbled. “A lot, actually.”

Steve didn’t say anything. His eyes traced over Bucky, searching for something in his friend. He must have liked what he saw, his smile stretched across his face. Wordlessly, Steve opened his arms and closed the distance, pulling Bucky into a tight hug. All the fear and anxiety left Bucky in an instant, his shoulder sagging in relief. He returned the hug full-heartedly, squeezing Steve in a way to convey his relief.

“We missed you, Buck.” Steve said genuinely as he pulled away. Bucky’s breath hitched and he stared in disbelief at Steve with wide eyes. Steve chuckled and jerked his chin to the hangers' door. “Come on.”

Steve led Bucky through the familiar halls, asking any and all questions pertaining to his time away. Bucky found it easy to slip back into joking with his friend, and the realization that in the last few months before going to Wakanda, Bucky had shut himself away from Steve. From everyone for that matter. He missed his friend.

Bucky knew what Steve meant when he missed him. It was a big topic the therapists worked on in their sessions Steve didn’t mean he just missed him while he was gone, he meant he missed him period. Bucky might have found a lot in Y/N, but he quickly understood he lost a lot of himself along the way by listening to the voices that told him otherwise. Now, he was going to do everything he could to keep from falling on old habits. He had to. There was no way he could put anyone else through this again.

Steve stopped outside the living room, standing off to the side a wide crooked smile.

“We figured you’d want some time to yourselves. Everyone’s going to the lake house Tony bought a few weeks ago for the afternoon. We’ll be back around seven for dinner.” Steve clapped a hand on his shoulder and took the bag Bucky still held. “I’ll go put this in your room. And good luck.”

Bucky frowned at how obscure his friend was being. He watched Steve disappear around the corner before shaking his head. Stepping into the living room, Bucky froze when he saw who was sitting on the couch.

Y/N looked up when she heard him walk in, her heart in her throat. She sucked in air sharply at the sight of Bucky standing in front of her. Her eyes raked over his form, taking in his appearance. He looked good. His skin was bronzed from no doubt being out in the African sun, his hair was pulled back into his signature bun. But his eyes, his eyes were what made her heart soar. No longer did he have the dark bags under his eyes, or the glossed over appearance in his blues. They were crystal clear and staring right back at her with an expression of longing. Y/N’s face burned, and she willed herself to shake off the astonishment and smile.

“Hi.” She said.

“Hi.”

The two didn’t know what else to say, didn’t know where to start. There was a lot that needed to be said, a lot of pain that was between them. Bucky counted to three before inhaling deeply. He waved to the empty spot beside her on the couch.

“Is it oaky for me to sit?” He asked. Y/N nodded and moved over to make more room, tucking her leg to her side and angled to face him. Bucky settled onto the familiar couch, his own matching smile on his face. Y/N knew she missed him when he was gone, but she never realized just how much until he was right there, within reaching distance. She could count his eyelashes, could see the health pink in his cheeks. She missed him so much.

Bucky rubbed a sweaty palm on his jeans and exhaled loudly.

“I uh… I missed you.” He winced at the lame start of a conversation. Thankfully, Y/N didn’t mind. She tilted her head to the side and giggled softly.

“I missed you too.”

Bucky forgot how much he loved her voice. His heart did a funny flip in his chest and it took him all his willpower not to melt into the couch.

“I guess it’s time to address the elephant in the room.” Bucky began. Y/N sat a little straighter, her face dropping to a serious expression. There was no beating around the bush for this one. “There’s nothing I can say to ever express how sorry I am for the horrible way I treated you.”

“Bucky-.”

“No,” Bucky shook his head, his tone firm but gentle. “We can sit here and argue till we’re blue in the face, but I did. I treated you like an object that was mine to keep and hold. I didn’t give you the respect you needed or deserved. I let my fears and insecurities rule my emotions. I thought if I beat them to punch before they could be proven right that I’d win somehow. In the end all it did was hurt the woman I love. And God, I’m so sorry I ever did. You were my rock. You helped me bring me out of my lowest point and I essentially spat in your face.”

Y/N didn’t respond. She glanced down at her hands, listening intently at what Bucky was saying. Bucky, however, was trying to keep his voice from breaking. No amount of therapy could have ever prepared him for difficult this conversation was. It needed to be done, but god if it didn’t sting.

“I don’t know if you could ever forgive me, and quite frankly, I wouldn’t blame you if you decided you never wanted to speak with me again.” Bucky finally said after a moment of silence. Y/N’s head snapped up and her eyes went wide. “I just want you to know, I will never, ever allow myself to become what I was ever again. I can’t say I’m fully healed, don’t think I ever will be, but I can damn well promise you that I will do everything I can to keep from going back. I can’t go back. Not to what I had become.”

Y/N couldn’t stop the tears that swelled to her eyes, the conviction and determination he spoke with shook her to the core. She hadn’t seen him in months, seeing him was overwhelming as it was, but this brought the flood of emotions she’d been keeping inside since the day he left.

He wasn’t the only one who went to therapy. Tony and Steve both agreed, that while Bucky might not have been intentionally abusive, he had toed the line rather closely. Of course, both agreed after a day or two to cool their heads that Bucky never meant her any harm. At least not knowingly. Nevertheless, they wanted to make sure Y/N was okay, that she could talk with someone who knew what they were doing about what she went through. Much like Bucky, Y/N found a little bit of determination to not let things go back to the way they were when he would come back home.

She knew her limits and had control of the voice she was finding in herself when she was with him. Her therapist helped her realized that yes, Bucky did hurt her, but he wasn’t bad. This wasn’t him. He was sick and was getting help. Help he willingly went for. She talked through whatever hidden resentment she had and it helped her see things in a new light. She wasn’t the shy quiet woman from six months ago who was too scared to speak up. Now she found a strength she didn’t know she had and Bucky inadvertently helped her find it.

Even at the end of the day, after talking through everything and working past the hurt, Y/N knew one thing. She still loved him. Fully and completely, she was head over heels in love with the man. If anything, this made her realize just how much she missed and cared about it. How seeing him in pain brought her more agony than she could have ever described. Having him here, in front of her pouring out his heart only made that awareness even stronger.

Reaching to take his hand in hers, Y/N scooted closer so that her side was against his. Bucky held his breath, stunned at how easily she moved against him. He expected her to recoil, to tell him she heard enough and had already decided that this, what they had was history. Yet, when she tilted her head back to stare at him, her eyes shown with love and understanding that Bucky never thought he’d ever deserved. He took in a deep breath, his eyelashes fluttering shut when he took her smell. Warm as honey and sweet with a hint of citrus. She smelt like what home was to him.

“Bucky,” Y/N whispered, leaned forward to press her forehead against his. Bucky hummed and opened his eyes. “You weren’t in your right state of mind, the trauma you went through in your past was still fresh and then when you threw in Vivian and her treatment to you? It was only a matter of time before you snapped. I know that deep down you never would have hurt me, but we didn’t have the tools you need- that we needed to get you through this.”

“I still hurt you though.” Bucky interjected. Y/N sighed softly and nodded, sitting back to see Bucky’s face better.

“You did.” She didn’t argue. Bucky’s shoulders dropped and he turned away. Y/N cupped his cheek, bringing his face back to hers with a gentle smile tugging at her lips. “And I forgave you a long time ago. I could never hold something like this against you. We’ve all had those demons in our heads that do nothing but tell us lies and lead us to become worse than what we really are. I only wish we could have helped you sooner before it turned into what it had.”

“How can you just forgive me so easily?” Bucky asked astonished. Y/N tilted her head to the side the smile stretching across her lips at the shocked look on his face. He really didn’t know.

“It’s simple.” She shrugged. “Because I love you.”

Bucky swore his heart exploded in his chest. The hope he had suppressed sparked to life and began to spread. His therapists told him he was still too hard on himself. It’s not that he didn’t believe them, but he wasn’t going to get his hopes up only for them to crash and burn when she’d tell him to leave and never talk to him again. He knew his girl was different, but he really hadn’t thought she was ready to forgive him so soon. The shock hit him, and it was written across his forehead in big bold letters.

“You-.” He stammered, swallowing thickly. “You do?”

“Of course I do.” Y/N laughed and snuggled closer against him. She wrapped an arm around his shoulder and tugged at his neck so she could press her forehead against his. Bucky’s melted in her hold; his eyes fluttering shut on instinct. No matter how long they’ve been apart, his body never forgot how safe he felt when he was around her. When she started to scratch the spot on his neck behind his ear with her nails, Bucky felt a rumble build in his chest and a blissful grin spreading across his lips.

“I’m not saying I’m willing to just jump back into where we were.” Y/N began softly. Bucky tensed, his eyes fluttering open. “Things have to be different if you want us to stay together. And I’m more than willing to work out anything we need to work out to make that happen. I do love you, and I’m sorry if this sounds a little selfish, but I’m not willing to let you go.”

Bucky let out a breathless laugh, gobsmacked. He slipped an arm around her waist and pulled her to his sit on his lap. Y/N’s laugh echoed his, a sound he missed hearing the most, and wrapped her arms around his neck.

He stared up at her, a light in his eyes that Y/N hadn’t seen in months. She was right of course; this wasn’t going to be swept under the rug and ignored. They had done that for too long before and look where they ended up. He would do whatever he could to show her that there was no going back to six months ago. That Bucky was a thing of the past. Things were going to be different and for the better.

“To be completely honest, I wasn’t willing to let you go either,” Bucky whispered softly. “But I sure as hell wasn’t going to force you to stay with me if you decided you wanted nothing to do with me.”

“Oh really?” Y/N smirked. “Just like that? You’d walk away and that be that?”

“Yeah.” Bucky answered truthfully. “If you told me right now you wanted absolutely nothing to do with me, that you wanted me to get out of your life, I’d leave. No questions asked.”

“What? Really?” Y/N inhaled sharply.

“Yeah. I mean, it would hurt like hell, but I wouldn’t want to be the reason for your discomfort. Not anymore.”

Y/N stared down at him, the tears starting to well in her eyes for the second time that night. Bucky frowned, cupping her cheek and brushing the stray tear with his thumb.

“I mean it.” Bucky murmured softly. “You mean everything to me. If you give me another chance, I swear, I will make up for all the shit I put you through and then some.”

Y/N’s stared intently, a little crease starting to form between her brows. Slowly, a smile stretched on her face and she chuckled softly. Leaning forward, Y/N brushed her nose against him and tightened her arms around his neck. Bucky’s breath hitched and his grip around her waist tightened while his smile grew to match her own.

“Then I guess you better start making up Barnes. Cause I’m not letting you go.” Y/N whispered breathlessly against his lips before closing the gap. Fireworks exploded and a rush of euphoria swept over Bucky. He returned the kiss with equal vigor, savoring the taste and feel of his girl against him.

He didn’t know what he had done to deserve this, a woman who loved him despite all his faults and sins, but he wasn’t going to mess this up. Not ever again.

What Have I Done Tag List: (CLOSED)

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Let me know if I missed you, the strike means I can’t tag you for some reason.)

[honeypiehotchner]

Beautiful Stranger (Chris Evans x OFC) -- part eleven

This is a very cute and special part ;)

Warnings: none! Unless you count the fluff content in here to be illegal.

Chris -- despite my protests, because what if people are watching? Or have cameras out? -- holds my hand as we walk back to my car. He opens the door for me, or tries to, but pouts when I laugh at him because I haven’t unlocked my car yet.

“Sorry, you’re trying to be nice and I’m being an ass,” I say, but that doesn’t stop me from continuing to laugh. I do unlock the car, though, and he smiles brightly -- like a child, I swear -- when he gets to open my door.

“M’Lady,” he bows his head and gestures into the driver’s seat.

I roll my eyes, but that’s because I’m trying to get rid of the wild butterflies in my stomach.

“Thank you for lunch,” he says once we’re driving back to my office.

“Thank you for letting me pay this time,” I tease. “And for surprising me, of course.”

He grins. “I’ll do it more often.”

“Please,” I say without thinking, and then immediately reel back. “I mean, if you’re not busy filming. You need to finish filming first.”

“But I also need to eat,” he counters, leaning his elbow on the side of the door. “So I think they’ll be okay if I ask to have lunch at this time every day.”

“Chris…” I shake my head in warning, starting my car. “I feel like I am way more conscious of cameras than you are.”

“I’ve gotten used to it,” he shrugs. “But I should be more careful, I know.”

“Your publicist already give you the speech?”

“Well, she forced me to tell her about you.”

I stay quiet and drive, hoping he’ll give more context. But he doesn’t, so I have to say, “What?”

And he continues. “She asked why it was-- Okay, normally -- I won’t lie -- normally after a few days of staying in, I’m calling her and telling her the guys and I are going out and that I’m apologizing in advance for anything she’ll have to yell at me for in the morning.”

“Is it that bad?”

“No, it’s not,” he chuckles. “But the media gets ahold of something and then it is. But point is, she caught me out. She asked why I hadn’t been going out at all yet and asked what the hell I had been doing-- She’s like my mother sometimes, I swear.”

“It sounds like it.”

“But she asked me that,” he shrugs his shoulders for emphasis, “and I can’t lie and say I’ve just been staying in for no reason because she knows me better than that, so I had to tell her.”

I grip the steering wheel tightly to relieve some nerves. “What did she say?”

He lets out a breathy laugh. “As my friend, she’s over the moon. As my publicist, she said she’s going to start doing damage control now.”

“Now?” I ask, raising my eyebrows. “Your name hasn't been anywhere.”

“Not yet,” he reminds me. “It’ll happen soon, and I’m sorry for when it does.”

“It’s not your fault.”

“No, but it’s something I wish you never had to deal with.”

“Well,” I pause, turning my blinker on. “It’s been a month and so far, so good.”

“That’s because we’ve been in my apartment,” he replies, laughing but he sounds wary. “I know I’m being cynical, it’s just--”

“No, you’re being realistic,” I admit, sighing deeply. “I wish you didn’t have to worry about it.”

“I wish you didn’t either.”

“Well, too bad. I worry about everything,” I laugh, only half in jest. “So don’t worry about what I’m worrying about because chances are, I’m already worrying about it.”

“That worries me.”

I don’t even need to look over to see the grin that is stretching across his lips, but I still do because I still want to see it. It’s just as blinding as always, but this time there’s some real worry hiding behind it.

I decide to change the subject, though, because I do see that hint of genuine worry in his eyes, and he doesn’t need to do that. “Where do I need to drop you off?”

“There should be a car waiting for me somewhere outside your office.”

Slowly, as I stop at the redlight, I turn to look at him. “You have no idea how fancy that just sounded.”

“It’s the truth!” He defends. “They dropped me off earlier. I didn’t just walk through downtown Atlanta until I got to your office.”

“It’s a good thing,” I reply, looking back at the road as the light turns green. He would’ve literally gotten mobbed, probably. “What time are you done today?”

“Not sure,” he sighs. “Why?”

“No reason,” I shrug, parking my car.

Chris gives me a look. “You can go see Dodger even when I’m not there, you know.”

“I feel bad!”

“Why? I’m telling you that you can,” he nudges my arm. “I gave you the spare key for a reason.”

“Okay,” I breathe. “Can I?”

“Please do,” he replies sincerely. “Send me pictures.”

“Deal.”

He’s still grinning wildly as I park my car, glancing at the clock to see I’ve still got twenty minutes left for my lunch hour. But he probably needs to get back to filming, so he should probably go now.

A frown settles over my features at the thought.

“How much longer is your lunch hour?”

“Twenty minutes,” I tell him. “But if you need to go right now--”

“No, I’ve got twenty minutes,” he turns to face me, unbuckling his seatbelt. “But if you need to go back to work now…”

I shake my head, fighting back a smile. “I’ve got twenty minutes.”

+++

I call Camile on my way back to my apartment -- well, Chris’s, because I’m going to see Dodger first thing.

“Hey girl,” my best friend answers tiredly. “What’s up?”

“What’s up with you?” I counter.

“Exhausted,” she lets out a laugh. “Ready to be home and in bed. You?”

“Same. Well, I’m going to see Dodger, but I am tired.”

“Dodger, huh?” She teases. The mere mention of my soulmate’s dog -- or anything to do with Chris, for that matter -- and her attitude brightens. “No Chris?”

“Chris and I had lunch today,” I say, earning a muffled scream from her. “And he’s still filming anyway, so.”

“But he’s letting you go see his dog.”

“Hey, Dodger needs love, too.” I’ll probably take him out for a walk, too. He probably needs to pee and breathe some fresh air. I’ll just make a pitstop at my apartment to change out of this dress and heels.

“Mhm,” Camile coos. “I’m still not over the fact that you’re Chris Evans’s soulmate.”

“I’m not over the fact that I have a soulmate.”

“Please,” Camile breathes. “You always knew you did.”

“But I didn’t know if they’d want me.”

“Fair,” she says. “Speaking of, has he kissed you yet?”

“Cam!”

“It’s a valid question!” She yells back. “It’s been a month. Jack kissed me after a week.”

“Well that’s you and Jack,” I remind her. “Speaking of, do you think you guys would be free this weekend, Saturday night?”

“We...can be, why?”

“Dinner. At Chris’s. With me and a couple of his friends.”

“Oh...my...God.”

“Is that a yes?” I laugh. “You’ll have to mentally prepare Jack. And make sure he won’t freak out. Sebastian and Scarlett are coming I think.”

“Sebastian Stan and Scarlett Johannson?”

“I think that’s their names, yes.”

I can practically hear her eye roll. “Oh, you think.”

“I just know Scarlett as Chris’s best friend who brings him groceries to cook dinner with while he’s on lockdown and Seb as Chris’s friend who keeps trying to take his phone to send weird text messages to me,” I smile, thinking of their antics. Chris says it’s annoying, but I know he loves it. “Not...whatever their characters’ names are.”

“Oh my God.”

“Is that a yes you’ll be there or not?”

“Of course we’ll be there,” Camile blurts. “I’ll tell Jack in advance who all is coming so he won’t pass out when we get there.”

“Thank you,” I chuckle. “I’ll tell you the time whenever we figure that out, but yeah. Saturday night.”

“You got it. We’ll be there.”

“Good,” I sigh, pulling my car into the parking deck. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go change and then take Dodger for a walk.”

“Well you are excused,” she replies in a matter-of-fact tone. “Have fun.”

+++

I meant to take Dodger for a walk. That was actually the plan, but somewhere in between walking into Chris’s apartment and kneeling down to play with Dodger and searching for his leash, we ended up asleep in the living room floor.

I didn’t know I had fallen asleep either until I felt footsteps on the floor. I cracked my eyes open, Dodger’s head still tucked under my chin, and craned my neck to see Chris standing with a soft smile on his lips.

“Hey.”

“Hey,” I murmur, sitting up and keeping a hand on Dodger. “How was work?”

“Good, we wrapped early.” Chris crouches down next to us on the floor, gently petting Dodger and searching my eyes. “I was wondering why you went quiet.”

“Oops,” I chuckle, rubbing my eyes, stopping myself when I remember I still have makeup on my face. I curse when I look at my fingers, black smudges all on them. “Ugh.”

Chris sees my frustration and nods down the hall. “I have some makeup wipes in the bathroom.”

I raise an eyebrow, my hands falling into my lap. “You have makeup wipes?”

“Sometimes I forget they put makeup on me when we’re filming and have to take it off here,” he explains, and adds, “but you’re welcome to use them.”

“Well, thank you,” I begin to stand. “Did you wear makeup today?”

He looks up at the ceiling, clearly trying to remember, but I just shake my head.

“I’ll bring one back.”

I walk down the hall to his bathroom, finding -- sure enough -- a packet of makeup wipes on the counter. They’re a cheap brand, but I didn’t expect him to have the same kind I use -- which are in a pink package and for sensitive skin with aloe infused in the wipes.

I clean the eye makeup I smudged and wipe away the little foundation I had worn today before tossing the wipe. I grab a second, shutting off the bathroom light as I venture back into the living room, finding Chris laying down next to Dodger now, holding his paw.

I can’t help the smile that crawls onto my face as I get closer. I lay on the other side of Dodger, moving so I can reach over and wipe the makeup from Chris’s face, careful not to wake the sleeping puppy between us.

I don’t realize how intimate the moment is until I’m wiping under his eyes, and I realize how deeply he’s staring into mine.

“Hi,” I say nervously, swiping quickly over his forehead and nose, hitting the places I assume they’d use some concealer just to cover some redness. 

“Hi,” he replies, letting out a laugh when I tap his nose with the wipe once I’m finished. “Thank you.”

I set the wipe above our heads so I’ll remember to throw it away when we get up. “You’re welcome,” I murmur, bending my arm to rest my head on it like a pillow. “How was your day?”

“Good,” he breathes, then gets this cheesy smile on his face as he says, “I had a really cute lunch date today.”

I scoff, rolling my eyes, but I’m smiling, and he keeps going. 

“She let me hold her hand, too. Made me so damn happy.” 

I pause and just look at him, my chest swelling with every moment that he keeps going.

“She’s really pretty,” he murmurs, his hand reaching over Dodger to tuck some hair out of my face. “But I know she doesn’t think it.”

“What’s got you in such a sappy mood?” I tease, trying to deflect and change subjects. It’s my one and only talent.

But Chris isn’t letting me get away that easy. “No reason,” he shakes his head, best he can when he’s laying on the floor. “Can I tell you something?”

I nod. “Anything.”

“I’ve been in a sappy mood,” he chuckles when he uses my words, “for a while. Since the day I met you.”

My face softens.

“But I didn’t want to say anything. I didn’t want to scare you away.”

“Why would you scare me away?” I whisper, my hand reaching out for his. He finds mine easily, lacing our fingers together and resting them on Dodger’s stomach.

“Because everyone’s watching me,” he says, his voice quiet and his eyes sincere. “Everyone’s always watching and I don’t want them to watch you too. I want you to just be mine, not everyone’s.”

“Chris…”

“And if the fame scares you away then that’s just what happens. I know it isn’t for everyone.”

“Chris…”

“But I know I’d rather have you in my life, whatever way I can, than not at all.”

“Chris, stop,” I squeeze his hand, getting his attention. “You’re not going to scare me away.”

“I don’t want to.”

“And you won’t. Nothing will,” I say without thinking, and the scariest part is, I know I mean it. “I know fame isn’t meant for everyone, and that’s fine. I don’t think it’s for me, but that doesn’t matter. My soulmate isn’t fame.”

He cracks a small smile. He always does when I call him my soulmate. I remember the first time I noticed it, I made a mental note with myself to call him my soulmate more often when I’m with him.

“My soulmate is Chris Evans,” I keep going, running my thumb over the back of his hand. “This super cute guy from Boston who also happens to be a superhero in his spare time.”

He laughs then, but it’s small. It’s not his usual belly laugh.

“Who loves his family and has the biggest heart I’ve ever seen. And who has a pretty awesome puppy.” Dodger stirs in his sleep, tucking his head further into Chris’s chest. “And he opens doors for me. He brings me coffee and surprises me for lunch and makes me laugh. He makes me smile more than I’ve smiled in years. And he gives really good hugs.” 

I can see him slowly cheering up, so I say one more thing.

“Oh, and his hands are super soft, too.”

He laughs loudly then, his free hand holding onto his chest as he leans back a little, his eyes closing. The noise wakes Dodger who jumps up and runs off into the kitchen, leaving Chris and I holding hands, laying in the middle of his living room floor.

The laughter dies down and I find myself scooting closer, our hands still linked together. He leans back onto his side, his eyes searching mine, a smile dancing on his lips.

“Thank you,” he whispers.

I shrug a little, smirking. “Just telling the truth, that’s all.”

“Can I tell you the truth?”

“I hope so.”

“I wanna kiss you.”

I freeze, but freeze isn’t the right word because my blood isn’t running cold. My body is warm, like it always is when I’m around him. Warm and safe.

But time stops. Or it feels like it does. Because we stay there, laying on our sides, just looking at each other, for what feels like ages but I know is only a few moments.

“Can I kiss you?” He asks, his hand squeezing mine.

And I nod. All I can do is nod.

He lets go of my hand to instead snake his arm around my waist, pulling me closer to him. The rug scratches against our clothes as we move, but it doesn’t stop us, and he doesn’t stop until he’s pressed his lips against mine.

It’s nothing like I imagined — or maybe it is, and I just don’t want to admit that I’ve imagined this moment. I have, if I’m being honest. I’ve thought about kissing him from the moment I came and knocked on his door a month ago. From the moment he hugged me. 

But I obviously didn’t imagine it to be like this, both of us curled up in his living room floor, bodies pressed against each other.

His hand cradles my face as he kisses me, soft and slow, gentle as always. I’m smiling when he pulls back to breathe, resting his forehead against mine. I open my eyes and see he’s staring right at me, his eyes filled with a certain emotion I’ve never seen and don’t know how to describe, but I’m sure it’s something like what I’m feeling. I’m positive I’ve also got a dreamy and dazed look in my eyes.

We hear Dodger’s paws on the hardwood floor before we see him, and then suddenly a toy is being dropped right between us. A well-rested Dodger bounces around us before jumping onto Chris and licking his face all over.

I sit up and cover my mouth to muffle my laughter, but also to feel my lips, to see if this buzz I’m feeling is real — to see if this is really all real. If I really did just kiss my soulmate.

I did. I really did.

[pokeprism]

Pokemon Found Family: Chapter 2 (Registered)

This is the second chapter of Pokemon Found Family, my pokemon fanfic! The raw text is below the cut!

I’m always up for questions!

Previous --- Next

Jane finds herself in an odd space. It’s the temple she fell into the night before, but the fences scattered around the back door of sorts are gone. Jane walks into the passageway and down a flight of stairs before entering the room at the end of the corridor. An odd feeling sweeps over her as she notices the coffin in the center of the room, causing Jane’s fur to stand on end. As Jane looks around for any sign of where the feeling had come from, she jumps at the sight of a ghostly outline of another pokemon in the room with her. The other pokemon she sees is certainly larger than Jane, but they’re on four legs like she is, and is calmly gazing at her. After the fight or flight response begins to ebb from her system, Jane looks more closely at the ghostly pokemon in the room. She recognizes them as a male pyroar, and can’t suss out any other details thanks to the pale blue coloring of the pyroar’s ghostly physique.

“Excuse me, you are Jane Eevee, correct?” the ghostly pyroar asks.

“Yes, I am…” Jane answers.

“Oh good. It’s nice to make your acquaintance.” The pyroar puts a paw forward. “I’m Cyrus Pyroar, champion of Mischief Valley. You’ve been sent here by Jirachi, correct?”

“Oh um… Yes. Jirachi got me out of danger by sending me here.”

“Did they give you a mission, Jane?”

“Not really. They just told me to make a new life here.”

“Oh. On a related note, has Geist told you about his duties as curator of my temple?”

“No, not yet…”

“Alright then… Hmm?” Cyrus looks up the flight of stairs, and notices the time. “Oh goodness, it’s already almost morning.” Cyrus refocuses on Jane as he adds “Jane, I can talk more later. For now, the registration process will begin for you today. See you when I can.”

Jane wakes up to the sound of Geist’s voice. “Hey Jane, we’ve got places to be!”

Jane gets up, and turns in Geist’s direction.

“Erm, can I pick you up again?” Geist asks in an uneasy tone.

Jane nods and says “Sure! Go ahead!”

Geist hastily picks up Jane in his arms and goes out his front doorway. Jane had forgotten that Geist lives high on the valley’s wall the night before, and upon remembering this fact, she closes her eyes and stuffs her head into Geist’s arm. Geist notices this and remembers her mentioning that she doesn’t like heights, so he initiates a phantom force to get them where they need to go, the valley’s citizenship office. Jane keeps her head snuggled in Geist’s arm until she feels the sensation of the sun’s rays return, on the destination side of Geist’s phantom force. Geist lowers Jane close to the ground, and Jane, after looking around for a moment, hops out with no issue.

“Where are we now?” Jane asks as she looks up at Geist.

“We’re at the citizenship office, also known as where you get registered.” Geist answers.

“Oh.” Jane turns toward the entryway to her right. “So here?”

“Yeah. They close at eleven, so let’s be quick.” Geist had taken note that it was ten fifteen when they left his house.

Both Geist and Jane walk into the citizenship office, and the sound of their entry makes the receptionist perk up. Despite still being new at the whole being a receptionist deal, the teenage drizzile at the desk has been practicing being more formal to those to pass by, but when they recognize the gengar that comes in, their veneer of professionalism dissolves on account of the recent distance between them two.

“Oh my gosh Geist!” the drizzile excitedly says with shining eyes. “Er, w-what brings you here today?!”

Without missing a beat, Geist smoothly replies “Hey mister Jazzadile.” Geist sets an arm on the desk and adds “Looks like mom has let you be at the receptionist desk?”

“Yeah yeah! Ever since I had my sixteenth birthday, mom’s letting me do all kinds of stuff!”

“Like what little man?” Geist continues.

“I can go outside the valley now with an adult at my side, I can go to my friends’ places when I’m not busy, and I get to run this when she’s busy!”

“Nice, Jazz!” Geist replies. “Wait, is your mom out right now?”

“No, she isn’t. She’s working with the governor right now.”

“In your house…?”

“Yeah yeah. Do you need her right now?”

“Yeah, I do.” Geist looks to Jane and adds “I’ve got someone new here with me.”

Thanks to the stone countertop blocking Jazz’s view of Jane, he asks “Are they under two feet and or point six meters? If they are, they are supposed to jump onto the counter.”

Geist looks back at Jane and quickly crunches some numbers in his head. He figures since Jane doesn’t go past half of his height, she’s short enough to get on the counter. Geist locks eyes with Jane, then gestures for her to hop up. Jane sees the gesture, then hops onto the counter without tripping up.

“Oh!” Jazz says, “So where did you come from, eevee?”

“Oh yeah, a friend of mine sent me here to make a new life for myself.” Jane answers.

Jazz’s mind stalls looking for a good response. “Um… Okay then, but where did you come from? P-Please include the city as well as the nation.”

“Oh, I’m from Furton, Pawland. It’s a long story…” Jane says.

“Oh. You’ve come a ways from here!” Jazz excitedly replies. Geist raises an eyebrow as he looks at Jane. Jazz then adds “Could you tell me about Pawland???”

Before Jane can respond, the door from behind opens, and a krookodile about Geist’s size comes out of it, followed by a sableye. Geist instantly recognizes both of them, whereas Jane is a little put off by at least the krookodile. The krookodile notices Geist, and walks over as she greets him.

“Hey Geist! Long time no see! Did ya bring someone new here?”

“Greetings Sophie! I see that Jazzadile is able to handle the desk, seeing as he’s helping this eevee get registered!” Geist replies.

Sophie’s eyes widen. “Oh? What have you filled out so far for this eevee, Jazz?”

Jazz sheepishly smiles. “Uh, well, they said they come from Furton, Pawland so far…”

“You haven’t asked their name or pronouns yet? That’s the first thing you ask someone sweetpea!” Sophie says.

Jazz’s embarrassment begins to show on his face. “Oops… Sorry mom....”

Sophie crouches down to Jazz’s level. “Jazzadile, that’s fine for now, thanks to this being Geist’s friend, but you need to remember alright?”

“Okay mom…” Jazz says, blushing.

Sophie gets back up. “I can take it from here Jazzie. Feel free to go hangout with a friend or so.”

Jazz shuffles out from behind the counter, then past the sableye (who has stayed remarkably quiet thus far), to the door that Sophie had come out of a moment ago. The door quietly closes behind him as Sophie redirects her attention to the now silent eevee standing on the counter.

“Anyway sweetpea, what’s your name and pronouns?” Sophie asks.

“I’m… Jane. I go by female pronouns.”

“Alrighty then, How old are ya?” Sophie asks with her trademark grin.

“I’m seventeen, Lady Sophie.”

“Huh, that’s interesting. How ya got here is none of my business, but you’ll have to select an adult thanks to being a minor. You know who?”

Jane looks to Geist as she says “I’m staying with Geist.”

Sophie’s eyes widen just like before. “Oh?” She turns to Geist. “What made that happen Gei-”

The sableye in the room decides he can’t stay quiet any longer, and jumps up onto a different part of the counter to be better heard. “What in the world are you thinking Geist?!”

Geist raises an eyebrow, just as Sophie does the same. Jane remains silent as she examines the sableye through his tirade.

“Did you just wake up one day and thought ‘I want an extra distraction in my life’?! That’s exactly what you’ve done by adopting this forsaken eevee!!! Even worse, this will make the other nations even more paranoid if they find-”

Jane puts on the most commanding tone she can as she says “Excuse me, I’M the one who wanted to live with him. He got me to the hospital and was the second person in my life to show me kindness. I don’t freaking care what those ‘other nations’ think because the only thing that other nations have given me has been SUFFERING. Know your place, sir sableye. This is NOT your decision.”

The whole room goes quiet. Sophie then cracks a nervous smile, worrying what the governor will think of what Jane just said. Geist’s worry is eclipsed by his surprise on account of Jane’s bold words. Despite being essentially the leader of Mischief Valley, Moshe remains silent as his emotions rage a battle within.

Sophie decides she should say something. “Should I tell you who this sableye is?”

“I mean, you can if you want.” Jane plainly answers.

“This is Moshe Sableye, our governor here in the valley.” Sophie explains.

Geist adds “Yeah… He’s my boss, Jane.”

“Oh. Should I mention that’s one of my more tame corrections?” Jane admits.

Moshe regains his bearing as Geist and Sophie exchange looks. “No, this eevee is right. My duty as governor is to make sure the valley’s citizens have their needs met. I’m deeply sorry that other nations have treated you that way, and I wish Mischief Valley will be different for you. Excuse my vitriol from earlier.”

Geist and Sophie both sigh in relief.

Moshe looks to Geist. “Anyways, Geist, could you fix that hole in the temple’s ceiling? We will be having a procession of nobles coming to inspect it later this week.”

“Could you call in the restoration force in that case? Psychic doesn’t quite cut it in terms of long term stability.” Geist says.

“Got it, Geist. Follow me if you will.”

Moshe jumps off the counter and begins to walk toward the entryway, and Geist obeys, following close behind the sableye. Geist briefly stops when he realizes one thing that almost slipped his mind.

Geist turns and eyes Sophie. “Sophie, could you hang onto Jane for now? I’ve got a task to do.”

“No problem Geist! A friend of yours is always welcome here!”

Geist catches up with Moshe, then says a quick “Thank you!” before shuffling out of the entryway.

Sophie’s gaze shifts to Jane once Geist is out of sight. “So miss Jane, would ya like to hang out behind the counter while I close up shop?”

“Oh um… Sure. Could I speak with you while you do that?” Jane says.

“Sure sweetpea! What do ya want to talk about?” Sophie says as she walks over to the boulder in the corner of the room.

“May I ask how you and Jazz know Geist?”

Sophie picks up the boulder and begins to walk it over to the entryway as she answers “Oh yeah, like you, Geist’s not native to here, so he had to go through me to live here. Geist knows Jazz because he helped bring the little sobble to me as a birthday surprise. That was about four years ago, and his nearly unprecedented kindness is why we’re still friends.”

“Oh. Do you know why he came here, or…?”

Sophie sets the boulder down in the entryway, then turns back to Jane as she says “He’s usually up tight about his past. He don’t talk about it much. I’m not sure if he’d be okay with me tellin’ ya that stuff, sweetpea. You’d have to ask him.”

“Okay then.” Jane then notices the placement of the boulder and asks “May I ask how we get out of here?”

Sophie points to the door behind the counter and says “We go through that door into my house, then through the tunnel to the bottom of the valley.”

“Okay then. Show me the way!”

Sophie gets back behind the counter before saying “Alrighty sweetpea, follow me!”

Sophie opens the door, and they both walk into Sophie’s home, then close the door behind themselves.

[alwaysmychoices]

“Unspoken”

Synopsis: After a magical day on the river, Ethan and Charlie are faced with the weight of all their unspoken feelings...

Pairing: Dr. Ethan Ramsey x MC (Charlotte “Charlie” Greene)

Choices Story: Open Heart

Rating: NSFW (there is a divider before the smut)

Words: 7487 (oops)

Part 3 of “A Weekend with Dr. Ramsey” 

part 1: drunk texts - part 2: a day with dr. ramsey - part 3: unspoken - part 4: in the morning light - part 5: brunch - part 6: the library -  part 7: the cure - part 8: the celebration - part 9: coming soon

Commenting, liking, and reblogging mean the world to writers, so thank you so much for engaging with my content!

The drive to Boston was quiet.

Jenner had fallen asleep in Charlie’s lap early into the drive, snoozing contently after a long day at the river. Charlie’s directions were no longer needed as Ethan was fully capable of navigating them back to the city without them, and for that, she was grateful. Her mind already felt as if it were bursting at the seams with too many thoughts, and she stared into the passing scenery as if the dark night could provide elusive clarity.

The problem with a magical day is that the sun always sets, and when it does, you’re left in the dark.

When Charlie looked at Dr. Ethan Ramsey, she saw a kaleidoscope of a man. Every angle was a new side of him that she’d never seen before. Sometimes, she felt like she could reach out and connect with the shimmering smile in front of her, but there was always a wall separating her from the illusion. He was so close, but he was still so far away…

Tonight, under the soft moonlight glow, Ethan didn’t look like the confident doctor she’d met in Edenbrook. Concern etched itself into his handsome features, and a lingering air of defeat and disappointment followed him like a cruel haunting. From the passenger side, she could see the knot between his eyebrows, an expression she remembered as his sign of deep concentration. He was thinking hard about something, but Charlie had no idea what.

As much as she admired and adored the man beside her, she couldn’t pretend to fully understand him. She knew him more than most, but there were so many undiscovered layers, so many secrets he kept from her. She wondered if she would ever know all of Ethan. Would he ever let her that close?

“You’re staring,” Ethan cut his eyes to Charlie, unable to contain the urge to take his eyes off the road to look at her. The doctor inside of him chastised such behavior. He’d seen many patients come through his hospital from lovesick injuries, each easily preventable but prompted by reckless actions by someone in love.

But he was retired now, wasn’t he? The doctor inside of him lacked credence over his human desires. And his chief desire was to be close to Dr. Greene, even if she seemed a million miles away tonight.

He imagined Rafael Aveiro looking at her. Rafael’s eyes would never be guarded. They’d unabashedly admire the beautiful intern, no inhibitions to guard like Ramsey. Ethan wondered if Rafael’s gaze had the same intensity of his own. Did Rafael love her?

Of course, he does, Ethan didn’t have to hypothesize. Everyone loved Charlie. They’d be a fool not to. If she could make a man as cold as Ethan form an attachment, what could she do with a man like Rafael?  

Something was stirring inside of Ethan’s chest. Jealousy burned at his skin, every nerve ending overcome with the emotion. His mind was consumed with unwelcome images of the two of them together, of a part of Charlie’s life that he knew nothing about. There was so much more to this enigmatic woman than what he knew. He’d caught glimpses of her fiery determination and self-destructive sense of duty to her patients as well as her lack of self-protective instincts, all of which challenged her career in the upcoming ethics hearing.

A smile perked at his lips as he remembered his own first year of residency. Back then, he was overcome with his own ego, but even in his ambitious drive, did he have the balls to take on Big Pharma like she did? Even today, did he have the reckless bravery of the woman next to him?

There was a swell of pride as he thought about all she’d done. As her mentor, he was severely disappointed in her irresponsible behavior, but as Ethan, he was proud as hell.

“Sorry,” Charlie mumbled, “Just thinking… I guess I focused on you or something.” Charlie’s voice trailed off as if she was pulled back by the tide of her own thoughts.

Ethan glanced at her again, so deeply concentrated. Desperately, he wanted to know what was happening in that mind of hers. More than ever, he wanted to be the man that knew her, the one that cared for her.

But he couldn’t ask for that.

Because if he did, he would be forced to answer the unasked question lingering in every interaction – Did Ethan Ramsey love Charlie Greene?

Theoretically, such a realization should have been the culmination of his linear progression of acceptance. Their relationship began with disdain and disinterest. Though he was impressed by her gumption and assistance during their first meeting, she was flawed. She had yet to perfect her technique and lacked the experience to trust her intuition. She had potential, of course, but she was merely an unformed piece of clay.

He remembered telling Naveen about their first encounter. He’d given Charlie a scathing review littered with uncharacteristic compliments, and Ethan remembered the look in Naveen’s eyes when he first spoke of her – it was the same look Naveen gave them tonight.

Naveen was a shrewd diagnostician, and he clearly could diagnose Ethan long before Ethan could recognize the change in himself.

Over time, Ethan accepted that he admired Charlie. There was no harm in acknowledging her potential, and he gradually became accustomed to the idea of mentoring the young student. He watched her thrive through the competition, working hard to reach the top spot, and Ethan was free to admit his admiration for her work.

So, when had it become personal? When did the professional relationship seep into his personal life? Had the lines always been blurry, and had his heart been involved the entire time?

Undoubtedly, Ramsey exhibited favoritism, and to Harper’s appreciation, he acknowledged it.

Over time, he accepted different aspects of their unorthodox professional partnership. Charlotte Greene was more than an intern. She was his favorite intern. She was his favorite coworker. She was more than a coworker. She was a friend. She was more than a friend. She was…

It was this final diagnosis that Ethan couldn’t make. What was Charlotte? And could he bear to admit the truth?

“What are you thinking about?” Ethan didn’t anticipate saying those words, and once he did, even he was stunned d by them.

Charlie stared now, disbelief evident in her expression.

“A lot of things,” Charlie was intentionally vague. Since when did Ethan ask her personal questions?

Ethan nodded, honestly disappointed by her evasion.

Silence consumed the car again, but they were too deep in thought to notice.

“Why didn’t you tell me about Dr. Olsen?”

Charlie gasped. Landry. Right.

Somehow, Charlie hadn’t thought of his betrayal once during their adventure with Naveen. Last night, Charlotte Greene tried to drink away her mistakes, one of which was trusting Landry. His deception burned inside of her, irrevocably reframing their friendship. Could she even call it a friendship? Had she always been unwittingly engaged in a silent war with him? If she didn’t have Ethan, would she still have her friend?

Bitter resentment and anger settled into a cold, aching disappointment in the pit of her stomach. She blamed herself for ignoring the obvious signs and for trusting him without any proof of his merit. She questioned others around her, wondering if they held the same disgusting motives as her former friend. She examined her own ambition and its limits. Could she ever do such a thing to someone she loved? And if she could, was she just as bad as him?

“I did,” Charlie laughed weakly.

“When you were drunk,” Ethan corrected her, surprised by his own disappointment and rejection that she hadn’t come to him, “Why didn’t you tell me when you were sober? Why didn’t you tell me about the sabotage when it began?”

Charlie chewed her lower lip, shrugging as she explained, “I don’t know. I didn’t want to give excuses for my problems. Even if you believed me, I would have just been projecting blame. I’m a better doctor than that.”

“If I believed you? Charlie, do you think I wouldn’t have believed you?” Hurt was evident in his voice.

Charlie squirmed, surprised by his accusation and the pain in words. Did it hurt him for her to not trust him?

“I… I don’t know,” Charlie admitted solemnly, “I didn’t want you to be disappointed in me.”

“Charlie, I could never be disappointed in you,” Ethan’s conviction was apparent, and it startled Charlie, “You could have told me.”

Something was swelling in Charlie’s chest, but she was terrified to put a label on such an unfamiliar feeling.

“You could have told me you were leaving,” Charlie was emboldened by the intimate space between them. In this car, under the starlight, they were in a world far from that of Edenbrook. They’d never been closer, yet they’d never been farther away.

Silence. Again.

Ethan’s breath hitched, horrified by her words. Guilt wracked his body, a familiar feeling but an unexpected context. Charlie had never seemed so raw, so vulnerable. The truth in her eyes overwhelmed him. After being so guarded for so long, how did one voice all of the words they’d left unspoken?

“I did,” Ethan’s evasiveness now mirrored Charlie’s.

“No,” Charlie had never put so much emphasis on that one word. She’d never felt so strongly that he hadn’t told her. It was as if his narrative challenged everything she knew, everything she experienced, and she didn’t hesitate to remind him of that day, “You kissed me outside the hospital, took off your badge, announced your resignation, and ignored me as I begged you to stay.”

The bitterness in her voice was palpable, and it was strong enough to expose the darkest part of who they were to one another.

It was now clear that their relationship was merely a patchwork of resentment and adoration, each battling it out beneath the cover of obvious affection for one another. In their quest to do the right thing, they’d levied attacks against one other – each unintended but devasting all the same. They were held together by strings of love that were fraying at the edges, threatening to fracture them if they didn’t do something.

But what were they supposed to do? How did they say something they’d never said before? How could they voice feelings they didn’t even admit to themselves? How could they open themselves up when the threat of being pushed away was so high?

Ethan froze, his grip tightening on the steering wheel as his memory returned to his last day at Edenbrook. He moved through each event, remembering where Charlie stood in each of them. She’d stood next to him through his failure, still looking up at him like an untarnished hero. How could he stay and face that? Who would he be if he pretended to be the man she thought he was, and who would he be if he destroyed her idyllic hope in him?

“I shouldn’t have done that…” Ethan whispered, mostly to himself.

“Which part?” Charlie challenged him, tears threatening to spill as she waited for his confession. She didn’t need him to tell her the answer. She already knew what he regretted, but she dared him to confirm that he regretted her, not leaving. Ethan Ramsey’s misplaced remorse lied in allowing her so close that his departure pained her. When the chips fell, Ethan resorted to his withdrawal instincts, and Charlie knew it.

Anger sprouted through her soul, reigniting months of rejection and waiting. Charlotte Greene was always waiting for Ethan Ramsey and always hoping that he wouldn’t push her away this time. She maintained a naïve assumption that, eventually, he would pull her close instead of casting her out. At what point did she accept defeat?

Now, she felt foolish as she stared down the barrel of last hope. Her day with Ethan Ramsey was beautiful and fostered desire she’d long abandoned that this man could allow himself to love her, but as the sun set on the river, the darkness highlighted the toxic traits that separated them. How stupid had she been to expect him to change all his rules for her? How many interns before her had deluded themselves into thinking they were special?

Ethan’s deep sigh was deafening in their newfound silence. He felt like he was driving straight into a hurricane but couldn’t stop his disastrous trajectory. His instincts urged him to do what he should have done months ago and sever their attachment before it came too dangerous. It was one thing for Ethan to suffer at the hands of Cupid, but to watch Charlotte battle a similar affliction was cruel. He could stop it now…

But as Ethan looked at Charlotte, he hesitated. He couldn’t let her go. He couldn’t break it off. It was a delusion to think that this relationship was anything but dangerous. The risk had already been taken. An intense desire to hold on took control of his body. It was as if, in the moment of crisis, his mind finally found what he valued most – and it was Charlie.

He should have said that, but he didn’t.

Instead, he asked, “Do you want to come up for a drink?”

Charlie’s gaze never wavered. Rationally, she knew to tell him, No. She knew to get out of his car and walk out of his life because, if he couldn’t love her now, he never would. She knew that she deserved better, but she couldn’t do it. A flicker of hope burned bright in her chest at his invitation. She knew what he was asking but needed him to say it.

“To your apartment?” she prompted.

“Yes.”

“To talk?” Charlie demanded, desperate for him to be explicit for fuck’s sake.

She needed him to say that he was inviting her to come back and talk, to work through their bullshit. She needed him to say that this was worth fighting for. She needed him to acknowledge their precarious state. She needed him to say that he was trying. Because, if he couldn’t, how could they ever find their way?

“Yes.”

“About what we’re fighting about?” Charlie crossed her arms.

“We’re fighting?” Ethan’s eyes flashed with panic.

“Yes,” Charlie asserted, and dread gripped his heart as he nodded in understanding.

Charlie faltered, trying to think of a million reasons to turn him down, but not one stuck. Because, as she saw a hint of fear in his eyes, all she wanted to do was reach out and take his hand.

“One drink,” Charlie finally consented, and for a moment, Ethan’s tight chest felt relief.

But the fear never subsided. They both sensed the finality that approached, and the weight of their unspoken fights and emotions grew increasingly unbearable. Both knew that, at the end of tonight, their unrecognized, longing existence would cease to exist, but neither could anticipate what would follow. When the world stopped spinning, would time still move?

When Ethan arrived home, he hesitated to take the key out of the ignition, and he considered driving far, far away to stay in this little bubble. He wanted to resurrect the day and live it once more, and he wanted to stay with Charlie for as long as he could. But before he could run away, he removed the key from the ignition and stepped out of the car.

Charlie followed, tenderly rousing Jenner, and the three of them made their way through the underground parking garage toward the waiting elevator. Ethan pressed his floor’s number and leaned back into the elevator walls as if it would slow time. He watched her beside him and witnessed concern etch its lines into her forehead, and without thinking, he reached for her hand.

As his fingers laced through hers, Charlie nearly jumped, and she looked back to Ethan with evident shock. He almost pulled away when he saw her expression, but he stopped when she squeezed his hand in return.

And it was enough.

It was enough to try.

When they entered his apartment, Charlie released Jenner from his leash and watched as he jumped on the couch, eagerly waiting for her to join him for another snuggle session. She smiled softly at him, scratching under his chin and placing a kiss on his forehead, before leaving their potential snuggles to talk to Ethan. And for the first time, Ethan was sincerely jealous of his dog.

Ethan was already reaching for the decanter when Charlie joined him, silently watching as he poured out a glass of scotch.

“Scotch or something else?” Ethan was prepared to list every single drink he had in his arsenal, full of nervous energy, but she stopped him with a nod towards the decanter.

“I need something strong, and that looks delicious.”

As Ethan poured her a glass, he felt an odd sting of pride. His girl knew a good drink. His girl… Ethan chastised himself for using that word. He didn’t get to call her “his.”

They both took a sip and allowed the warmth to linger in their chest before speaking again, waiting for the liquid courage to set in.

Unsurprisingly, it was Charlie who made the first move towards the awkward discussion.

“I said one drink,” Charlie eyed her drink, “By the way that tastes, I’d assume we don’t have much time before that glass empty, so we better start talking.”

Ethan paused, considering all of the strategies he could take. His fear of losing her paralyzed him, but his fear of hurting her spurred him to scrutinize everything. He’d never been in this place before, and his frame of reference was limited. How did one act in such a situation?

“You didn’t tell me about the ethics investigation,” Ethan blurted out, amazed by how much it hurt him that she’d kept that from him.

“I tried, but you closed the door in my face,” Charlie asserted.

Fuck… Ethan grimaced as he remembered the day. Was that what she was trying to tell him when he’d been such a dick?

“Did you go to someone else?” Ethan didn’t recognize the jealousy in his tone.

“Excuse me?” Charlie flushed, “What is that supposed to mean?”

“Did you go to Rafael when I didn’t talk to you?” Ethan persisted, horrified by her potential answer.

“You don’t get to ask a question like that, Ethan,” Charlie shook her head, obviously frustrated, “Don’t act like I haven’t given you far more opportunities than I’ve given Raf.”

“Oh, so you’re giving him opportunities?” Ethan couldn’t understand why he was so upset. He knew that she was right. If he hadn’t been bound by his morality, he could have had Charlie a long time ago, and she had no responsibility to stay loyal to a nonexistent relationship. She was free to do whatever – and whomever – she wanted, but the idea of it killed Ethan.

“Do not pull that bullshit,” Charlie took a large gulp of her scotch, begging it to fuel her, “When we almost had sex in Miami, who is the one who stopped it? It sure as hell wasn’t me.”

“I’m your boss! It’s not ethical!” Ethan retorted.

Charlie rolled her eyes, “Well, I’m already facing an ethics hearing, so clearly, I’m ethically substandard.”

Fuck. That’s not what he meant.

“You know I didn’t mean it like that,” Ethan couldn’t fathom not making that point explicit.

Charlie diverted her gaze, biting on her lower lip as she raked her fingers through her falling ponytail. As her blonde hair fell around her shoulders, Ethan was caught off guard by how vulnerable she seemed. She was just as impassioned and upset as he was, if not more so. She walked away from him, pacing his living room floor and occasionally glancing over at him as if planning her defense.

“I know you didn’t mean that,” Charlie admitted with a deep sigh, “But I don’t know what I know about you. Today, I felt like I really knew you. Today was great,” Charlie closed her eyes as if trying to relive their carefree afternoon, “But then you try to pull away. You don’t let me in. You wouldn’t have brought me in on Naveen’s case if you didn’t trust me, but you never show it. How the fuck am I supposed to be your friend if you can’t tell me anything?”

“I brought you in on a case I failed at, Charlotte,” Ethan gulped at his drink as if the smooth scotch could dull the nagging failure that he carried every day. It was the first time he’d ever said her full first name, and Charlie’s eyes shot to his, amazed by how cold she felt at the title. She just wanted to be his Rookie again, “I told you why I left Edenbrook. I’m not the doctor we both thought I was,” Ethan’s voice cracked, and just like that, the anger dissipated from Charlie’s body as she was overwhelmed with a desire to fix this wonderful, broken man.

“Don’t say that,” Charlie stepped towards him instinctively.

“It’s true,” Ethan drained his scotch, returning the glass to the table as he fell into a nearby armchair, “I failed Naveen. I failed my patients. I’ll fail you soon, too.”

“It’s not true,” Charlie was by his side now, surprised by her own proximity to him, “That’s bullshit. You’re the doctor I thought you were and more. You saved thousands of patients, Ethan. They’re still living their lives because of you.”

“I couldn’t save Delores. I couldn’t save Naveen. I-I…” Ethan’s hand was reaching for the scotch bottle, but Charlie grabbed it before he could, taking his hand in hers.

“You didn’t save them, but you loved them,” Charlie stared deep into his eyes as if begging him to believe her, “You stayed up all night with baby Ethan, and he has a full life because someone loved him. You gave Delores and Naveen a choice, and when they picked their diagnosis over treatment, you respected it. That’s why you’re the best doctor I know. You never stop caring about your patients.”

Charlie paused, tears welling in her eyes as she added, “If I’d been more like you, I wouldn’t be in this mess… If I’d taken no for an answer, I wouldn’t have endangered Mrs. Martinez. She’d be alive, and I wouldn’t be facing a revoked medical license.”

Ethan’s heart broke at the pain in her speech, and before he could stop himself, he told her, “That was the stupidest, most unethical, kind thing you ever did, Rookie.”

Charlie looked up at him, something inside warm at the sound of her nickname.

“You’re a good doctor, Charlotte, and I’m not sure if I’m brave enough to help Mrs. Martinez in the way you did.”

Charlie nodded slowly, mulling over her words before saying, “You told me to examine my mistakes, learn from them, and let go. Instead, I lost one of my best friends and risked my entire career to make a point.” Charlie was laughing at herself, but her chuckle was laced in bitterness.

“You do enjoy the dramatics,” Ethan conceded, earning a playful glare from the woman next to him.

A peaceful lull formed in the storm of their fight, momentarily reminding them of what they were even fighting for in the first place. How did they make everything seem okay again, even when it clearly wasn’t?

“I didn’t know if I would ever be able to move on when you left,” Charlie admitted carefully, “For a cold son of a bitch, you sure as hell make people care about you.”

Ethan laughed his first genuine laugh of the whole night, and a smile perked at her lips despite everything.

“I tried very hard to make you stop caring about me, but you were always stubborn,” Ethan was still smiling to his own disbelief.

“You’re right,” Charlie nodded thoughtfully, “Inviting me to Miami, including me on a secret case, taking me for coffee, going to the opera… All of that definitely pushed me away.” She looked back at him, eyes glaring with amusement and something he could finally put a name to – affection.

Ethan laughed, amazed by how much he enjoyed when she made fun of him, “You forgot introducing you to my dog.”

“Please, Jenner is basically my dog now,” Charlie looked over at the puppy now watching them intently.

A comfortable lull formed in their conversation. It was amazing how easy it seemed to slip away. They both knew they hadn’t resolved everything, and more fights were waiting. But they couldn’t manage to break the comfort they felt in each other, not yet.

Finally, after a long time, Charlie spoke. She hesitated with her words, unsure that she even wanted to ask the question, but after a beat, she forced herself to ask, “Will you testify for me?”

Ethan looked surprised, and before he could answer, Charlie nervously jumped in, “You’re the one doctor I respect most in the world, and if you don’t want to testify for me because I failed you, I understand-“

“Charlie,” Ethan stopped her mid-sentence, and she gazed up at him with those big green eyes that momentarily distracted him, “I tried. Emery won’t let me because I’m too biased, and we both know she’s right.”

Charlie let out a defeated grimace, standing slowly and moving towards the window as she processed the rejection. Beneath her, Boston hummed with electricity and excitement. There was an entire world down there, oblivious to what was happening in Ethan’s apartment. They had no idea that Charlotte Greene’s life was falling apart…

Ethan retrieved both of their glasses, returning to the decanter to refill them, and he tentatively met her at the window, holding out the glass as a peace offering.

“To early retirement,” she smiled sadly, holding the glass in a toast, “Likely for both of us.”

Ethan clinked the glass with a sad nod, and the scotch settled into a familiar burn in their chest.

“You tried without me asking…” Charlie’s whisper surprised Ethan, and he couldn’t miss the small smile dancing on her lips.

“You’re just the latest person I tried to save and failed,” Ethan swallowed, his failure threatening to consume him.

Charlie shook her head, placing a hand on his cheek as she moved his face to look at her, “You never failed me, Ethan.”

She was so, so… close.

He could smell lingering notes of his body wash on her skin, an intoxicating combination of fresh air and freedom. He was close enough that he could watch her chest rise and fall with her breath. Her lips parted as she gazed up at him, her lips still shiny with scotch, and Ethan’s breath hitched as he realized she was… so beautiful… and so close…

Ethan was leaning closer, so close that Charlie felt the heat of his breath on her skin. Her senses were overwhelmed with him… Her grip on her glass loosened, sliding out her hand and splintering into tiny pieces on the hardwood floor, but the sensation was distant.

And then he was against her, their proximity so close that she only had to lean the tiniest bit to brush her lips across his. They were soft and warm and…

And they collided. Months of longing were poured into his touch as his tender, bruising kiss consumed her. He tasted like scotch and coffee and Ethan, and her fingers tangled in his hair as she pulled him closer. He could feel her hammering heart against his chest. His hands were on her, his fingertips digging into her hips as he tugged her as close as he could possibly have her. Any space was too much. He’d never needed anyone like he needed Charlotte Greene at this moment.

Ethan effortlessly lifted Charlie, guiding her to wrap her legs around his waist as he pressed her against the window. The cool glass contrasted the heat between the two of them, and her lips left his to giggle at his eagerness before she was lost in him once more.

His hands were everywhere, her waist, her hips, her ass, her thighs, her chest… It was as if he felt the need to explore and claim every inch of her body, to treasure it with his appreciative touch.

“Ethan,” Charlie moaned softly, her hands leaving his hair to pull at his sweater. Ethan pulled away just long enough for her to take it off, not caring where the garment fell when she threw it over his shoulder, “Mmm, that’s better.”

Ethan’s hands were already on her waist, the fabric of her t-shirt wrinkling beneath his touch. His shirt. Ethan felt a swell of pride as he remembered how sexy it was when she confidently walked out in his t-shirt this morning, and he remained convinced that it was the hottest thing she’d ever worn. The grey cotton began to ride up her body as he moved his hands up her torso, and he victoriously pulled it over her head and threw it on the ground beneath him. Her exposed skin was so warm against his hands, and the lace of her black bra tickled his skin as she pressed herself even closer to him.

Ethan moved back from the window, still holding onto her tight as he led her back to his living room, and he softly placed her on his couch. Slowly untangling her legs from his waist, her fingers fumbled for his belt, and he laughed softly at her attempts to quickly remove it.

Biting on her lower lip, Ethan pulled away from her kiss, enjoying the sweet sound of her moan, and as he gazed down at her, it was undoubtedly the best sight he’d ever seen. His Rookie was desperate for his touch, desperate for him.

His Rookie…

Ethan’s breath stopped as he suddenly remembered why he hadn’t seen this sight since Miami, why he’d left her then… and why he had to leave her now.

Charlotte saw the change in his eyes, and her stomach lurked as panic settled in.

“Ethan…” she whispered, her hands on his cheek as she started to sit up to look at him better. No, no, he couldn’t… Not again, she thought to herself.

“Charlie,” Ethan’s voice was ragged and full of disappointment, and it was a sucker punch to Charlotte, “I can’t…”

Charlie’s eyes closed in a grimace as she fell back to the couch, covering her head with her arm as the sting of rejection replaced the carefree joy she’d felt only moments again. Even now, miles from Edenbrook, he still didn’t want her… Tears prickled at her eyes, but Charlotte willed them away.

Ethan’s hand hovered over her hair, desperately wanting to comfort her, but instead, he removed his touch and stepped away, knowing it would only do more harm than good. He left the couch, returning to his glass of scotch and downing it as he waited with bated breath for her reaction. She was still quiet, collecting all of her thoughts as her emotion wreaked havoc.

What’s wrong with me? Charlie’s thoughts were unstoppable, cutting through every attempt to silence them as they taunted her with rejection and humiliation. Hadn’t she learned to stop hoping for Dr. Ramsey?

Before she knew what she was doing, Charlie grabbed the pillow from behind her head and hurled it at Ethan. The pillow stunned him but bounced off easily, leaving him stunned and confused.

“Fuck you, Ethan Ramsey!” Charlie was up now, looking for her shirt so that she could stop feeling so exposed and vulnerable, but when she saw it on the floor, she was reminded that it was his shirt, not hers. Fuck.

“Excuse me?” Ethan asked incredulously.

“You heard me. Fuck you,” Charlie repeated, the words flowing off her tongue with such ease that Ethan almost forgot that he was the one being cursed.

“Charlie, we can’t,” Ethan began, but Charlie stopped him before he could deliver the same speech.

“Don’t you dare,” Charlie shook her head, the tears trying to return, and she had lost her strength to will them away, “Don’t you dare tell me that you can’t betray your moral code and have sex with your intern. You can’t do this, Ethan. You can’t pull me close just so you can push me away.”

“That’s not what I’m doing!” Ethan was offended at the accusation, “I’m putting you first. I’m putting your career first, Charlotte.”

“No, you’re not! That’s what you’re telling yourself, but that’s not what’s happening!” Charlie jabbed a finger at his still bare chest, “You’re afraid of intimacy, so you’re searching for every possible excuse to keep me at arm’s length. You can’t have it both ways, Ethan,” Charlie paused when she heard her voice crack, trying desperately to sum up the strength to continue her speech, and the sight made Ethan shrink. He’d never seen her so hurt, and he knew he was the cause. “Did you just try to get me naked because you heard I had sex with Bryce? Is it some stupid test to prove your masculinity?”

“No, of course not,” Ethan breathed, desperate to make her believe him, and he instinctively placed his hands on her waist as she wiped at her tears, “You’re more than some toy, Charlie.”

“I know,” Charlie pulled out of his grasp, “You can’t just play with me when you’re bored and drop me when you want to. That’s not fair.”

“I’ve never meant to do that,” Ethan had never been so intent on making someone believe him. She had to know the truth. She had to know that she was more than that, that she was more than everything to him.

“Don’t do this, Ethan. Don’t make it too hard to be around you. Don’t you dare push me away,” Charlie wiped at the tear sliding down her cheek, betrayed by her own emotional response, “You’re not my boss any more. The only thing keeping you away from me is you right now. At least be honest with that.”

I’m not her boss anymore…. The words played over and over again in Ethan’s head, forming a soundtrack to his epiphany. She was right. She was always right.

“Rookie…” Ethan’s whisper was soft and intimate, and even when she was so angry with him, it made her heart skip a beat. He stepped forward, his hands cupping her cheek as he leaned his forehead to hers, meeting her eyes as she felt the comforting warmth of his breath on her skin, “You’re… you’re everything to me.”

Charlie’s lips parted in a surprised gasp, staring up at him as if trying to prove to herself that she’d actually heard him correctly.

And he almost said it… three little words he’d never said before. But instead, he kissed her.

Their tender, bruising kiss held the emotions of months and months of waiting and pain and rejection, and they lost themselves in each other’s touch.

Ethan was the one to slide her out of her skinny jeans, slowly but surely stripping her down as his hands explored her skin. Once she was down to her underwear and bra, Ethan pulled her back to him, their bodies so close that they practically breathed as one. Her legs wrapped around his waist, tugging on his hair as he carried her back to her bedroom. Close wasn’t close enough for either of them, and Ethan laughed softly into her lips as Charlotte practically squirmed to get as close as possible.

Charlie pulled on his lower lip, whispering, “Let me down…”

Ethan begrudgingly unwrapped her legs from his body, gently putting her down on the floor without daring to break their kiss.

He felt her smirk against his lips as she unzipped his pants, pushing them off and toying with the waistband of his boxers. Ethan’s muscles froze as he felt her hand so, so close… She loved watching the effect she had on him as she tantalizingly slowly took off his boxers, brushing her fingertips along his hardening member before wrapping her hand around him and gently stroking.

“Charlie…” Ethan’s voice was breathless, making Charlie smile in pride.

“Yes?” Charlie raised an eyebrow, licking her lips as if offering an invitation.

Ethan’s hands tangled in her hair, moving her to look directly at him as he earnestly asked, “Are you sure?”

Charlie’s smile warmed his skin as she nodded, “Yes. 100% sure.”

Their lips collided again as Ethan pulled her back to his bed. Once the back of her knees met his mattress, he pushed her softly, and Charlie fell back on the bed, eyes heavy with lust as she looked back up at him, waiting to have him close again.

To her surprise, Ethan didn’t climb on the bed with her, and she pouted as he leaned close, whispering, “Not yet…”

“I’ve been trying to have sex with you for months. Why not yet?” Charlie’s whine was sincere and made Ethan chuckle.

“Patience is a virtue, Dr. Greene, and I want to remember every single moment of this…” Ethan’s lips grazed her collarbone, his hands lifting her just enough to unclasp her black bra. Charlie shrugged out of it, goosebumps forming on her skin as the cold air washed over her. Ethan’s tender, wet kiss moved across her collarbones, pausing on her neck to find just the spot that made Charlie squirm before moving down her chest.

His appraising eye marveled at her body as his hands, which began at her hips, roamed her curves until they reached her breasts. Cupping her breast in one hand, he tenderly massaged her as his tongue caressed the other, teasing until his mouth captured her nipple. Her body bucked in response, and he could feel his own body respond to that perfect, perfect moan…

“Ethan…” Charlie was growing impatient as her desperation to feel him heightened.

But once more, he whispered, “Patience…”

His mouth began to move lower, appreciating each inch of skin as he navigated her torso. She giggled at the tickle of his stubble, her hands tangling in her hand as she told him, “Your stubble tickles.”

With a rueful smile, Ethan brushed along his chin and responded, “I should shave.”

Charlie’s eyes playfully narrowed as she insisted, “Don’t you fucking dare.”

Ethan didn’t bother to contain his laughter before returning to her body, spreading her thighs as he approached the apex. He lavished his attention on her inner thighs, kissing and nibbling as the woman beneath him writhed in delight.

“Please…” her whisper was hoarse with desire, and finally, Ethan relented.

With his thumbs hooked on either side of her panties, Ethan’s kiss diverted from her thigh, just gently meeting the lace of her underwear. His kiss was long and wet and lazy, and Charlie melted into his mouth. Taking his sweet time, Ethan stripped her off her underwear and placed a long, purposeful lick along her folds. His tongue circled her nub as he appreciated her sweet taste. Charlie’s hips moved with his mouth, her fingers tugging on his hair as she wordlessly begged for friction and pressure. Ethan delivered, his adept finger sliding inside of her, and he watched as she fell apart when his finger curled.

Charlotte moaned her delight, her eyes fluttering closed as she rose to her peak. He could feel it in her body before she said a word – the pink flush to her skin, the friction of her body writhing beneath his tongue, the desperation in her bated breath, the way her muscles tensed around him… Her breath hitched as she approached her climax, and Ethan watches her, catching her gaze as she lost control.

“E-Ethan,” she pleads as she feels it coming, her breath hitching right before…. “Fuck!”

Charlotte shuttered as her orgasm lit her body on fire, each nerve ending consumed in the blissful heat. She hummed as her pleasure settled in her, a lazy smile spreading as she whispered, “Ethan. Fucking. Ramsey…” she bit on her lower lip, his name now forever a chant of indulgence.

“Jonah, actually,” Ethan smirked, moving up to look at her, and she raised her eyebrows in confusion, “My name is Ethan Jonah Ramsey, though I suppose ‘Fucking’ works as well.”

And right then, Charlotte’s laughter is music to his ears, and as she looks up at him, she almost said it… Three words she’s never meant like she meant them now.

But instead, his lips were on hers, full of heat and promise, and she was lost in it – in him.

Their fingers intertwined as Ethan moved over her, effortlessly moving her farther onto the bed as he knelt between her legs.

The sight beneath him took Ethan’s breath away. His beautiful, wonderful Charlotte looked up at him like no one else ever had. She waited with obvious desperation for him for him. She was here for him. She wanted him.

His length ran along her wet slit, probing as he looked at her with a silent question, and she nodded her agreement without an ounce of hesitation. His smile was broad and beautiful as he kissed along her skin, teasing her relentlessly and bringing her so, so close before finally…

“Fuck!” Charlie gasps as, after months of pining and waiting, they finally connected. Ethan sank deeper into her, overwhelmed by how intimately close they felt. Her fingertips brushed along his cheek, smiling softly as she met his lips in a deep, bruising kiss.

Ethan’s pace was slow and careful, each thrust timed to make Charlie think she couldn’t wait any longer and then fall apart the second he delivered her cravings. Her nails dug into his broad shoulders, not caring about any potential marks as her nails dragged along his skin while his pace quickened with desperation.

The pleasure mounted in Charlie’s hips as he delivered each deep, toe-curling thrust. His mouth claimed hers, his tongue fighting for dominance over hers as her body flushed with delight.

“Ethan, I’m so cl…” Charlie didn’t need to articulate further as she lost her breath, overwhelmed with his touch. He carefully adjusted his grip on her thighs, his thumbs leaving bruises along her skin, and he used the new leverage to drive deeper and deeper into him. His lips were selfish as he every inch of her body, needing to taste her, to feel her and know that she was his.

Charlie’s skin burned with desire, unable to hold on as she dissolved into her climax. She’s so, so close – she’s – she’s – fuck. Charlie fell apart beneath Ethan, her orgasm taking over her body.

Ethan watched through hooded eyes, feeling her tighten around him, and it was too much. “Charlie,” he moaned her name as if it were sacred praise, each thrust harder and more desperate than before. At the summit, he lost control, his body sated in the warm ecstasy of his orgasm. His forehead fell to her shoulder as he tried to catch his breath.

For a moment, they just stayed like that, enjoying their bliss, enjoying each other…

Finally, Ethan moved out of Charlotte, pulling him beside her, and without a word, Charlotte tangled herself around him, tucking her head in his chest as she listened to the thump of his heartbeat.

“We just had sex…” Charlie murmured, sounding astounded.

“We did,” Ethan confirmed, twirling her hair around his finger as he appraised the beautiful woman in his arms. How the hell did this happen?

“Oh my God,” Charlotte let out a single chuckle, looking as if she couldn’t believe it either, and he found himself smiling.

Tilting her head up to look at him, Ethan said, “Stay the night.”

Charlotte wasn’t sure if his invitation was a command or a question, but she couldn’t dream of leaving his bed either way.

“Only if you finally give me an embarrassing tee shirt to wear tomorrow,” Charlotte’s eyes were full of amusement as she teased him, and he couldn't resist the urge to kiss the tip of her nose.

“I may have a secret Turkey Trot t-shirt in the back of my closet,” Ethan finally confessed, but his embarrassment was soon forgotten as he watched Charlie’s face light up with excitement.

“I fucking knew it,” Charlie kissed him in victory, her arms looped around his neck. The kiss was long and lazy, and when they pulled away, Ethan could see the sleep in Charlie’s eyes. Safely tucking her in his arms, he kissed the top of her head.  

He was just about to fall asleep when a small whisper lured him away from slumber.

“Please don’t leave me…” there was fear in Charlie’s voice as if she was waiting for him to run away at any moment, and the sound broke Ethan’s heart.

“I won’t,” he whispered, “I promise.”

This was so long, and I’m so sorry. I really wanted to tackle that Charlie is scared of Ethan’s instinct to run away, and that isn’t going away any time soon. I hope you’ll tune in for part four! If you would like to be tagged (or stop being tagged), just let me know!

Tag list: @honeyandsunfl0wers @wangdeasang @hopelessromantic1352 @jens-diamondchoices @sheismental @ughhhxjazzy @desmaranj @claudevonstruke @octobereighth @timmagicktoad @flyawayboo @elixabexh @togetherwearerapture @perriewinklenerdie @nobounderiesplease @simsvetements @too-spooky-bunny @caroldxnvxrs @itsfabrayic @drethanramsey @drrameyfanpage @paisleylovergirl @msjpuddleduck @padfoot0415 @barricades-of-freedom

[atlas-of-a-human-soul]

Opposites Attract

Summary: When Grayson, the dreamer and Y/N, the realist finally get their chance of a life together, they’ll soon realize that although opposites attract, being polar opposites is only perfect on paper. Can they make it work or will their almost epic romance remain just that; an almost.

Warnings: fluff, angst, swearing, implied smut

Word count: 26.8k+

Author’s note - This can be a standalone, but I highly suggest you read Polar Opposites first if you haven’t already. A big thanks to everyone who read/reblogged or sent any kind of feedback on the first one, because I really didn’t expect it to be so well received. I’m really nervous about posting this, so I hope you like it. It’s a longer one, so settle in and get a snack. Enjoy!

She pulls the pillow closer to her chest, gnawing on her bottom lip. Grayson doesn't even look up, choosing to stare at his fidgety fingers in his lap instead. Neither know how to verbalize what they feel, both feeling suffocated and troubled by everything.

"Maybe we were wrong." Y/N says quietly, taking a few short breaths in order to stop a choked sob from escaping her lips. Grayson looks up with furrowed eyebrows, torn about his own feelings and now the words coming from her mouth.

"Maybe we're just too different to make this work." She finished her initial statement, resting her chin on the purple pillow in her grasp to avoid Grayson's gaze.

Silence settles, finding a way to crack their hearts and the sound of their broken hearts shattering on the ground is almost deafening for Y/N to take. Instead of remaining quiet as Grayson is, she continues to speak in hopes of him talking her out of this. She wants him to be the dreamer she met, the same guy who wouldn't let her walk away from everything they've built without a fight. But he doesn't seem to be that guy anymore.

He doesn't seem to be her Grayson.

"Opposites attract on paper, but how often do those stories have a happy ending? Were we wrong from the start?"

It's probably best we rewind a little and take this story back where we left off?

It's been five hours since she got on the plane, still feeling the ghost of Grayson's kiss upon her dry lips. With her eyes closed, the memory of yesterday unfolds again and again while her heart helplessly aches for the man she left behind. She licks her lips once, twice, and takes three deep breaths to calm her sorrowful mind. If she were to let her thoughts about Grayson run wild, she'd never dry her eyes. It's ridiculous how deeply he had touched her soul and how that very soul burned with a desire to be by his side once more. It's almost unbearable, the distance growing every moment she spends in the air.

While she clung to the lingering scent of Grayson's cologne on the clothes he let her borrow, Grayson was anxiously waiting for her to land. Of course, do to her location and two different connective flights, Grayson knew it would take her almost an entire day to get home and be in a good position to contact him. He worried if her head still hurt or if her stitches came undone. He worried if her scraped hands could carry the duffel bag she dragged alongside her. He worried if she might be cold or if she's feeling lonely. Hell, he even worried if she's hungry or thirsty.

Needless to say, Grayson's been driving his older brother insane with his constant questions about her well-being that have long stopped being only inside his head, but became very vocal and outspoken.

The first thing he did after coming home was to get her information out of his desk and make sure he followed her on both Twitter and Instagram, adding her on Snapchat and putting her number and e-mail in his phone. The next thing was to find the plane she was supposed to be on and follow the progress online. The third was to walk in circles around the home he shared with his brother, cleaning and cooking to keep himself busy.

That's how he found it.; her purple, leather jacket.

Grayson practically screamed once he realized what he's holding, turning it over quickly a couple of times to make sure he didn't mistake it for his own jacket. However, the jacket in his hands is a couple sizes too small for him and the clear rips over the elbow area signaled it's hers.

He thought he put it in her bag. He was almost certain about it and the fact that he didn't ticked him off immediately. Not only did her ruin it when she fell, but now he felt like he stole it from her as well.

Despite the guilt washing over him, Grayson brings her jacket to his nose, inhaling her scent. His lips spread, the corners twitching upwards to form a wide smile once he feels her perfume still lingers. And he no longer feels guilty, but happy over this little accident.

This way, he can still hold her. He can still be near her for a while.

Although he knew it would take her some time to respond, Grayson sent her his very first message. He held up the leather jacket by his face and gave her his best 'Oops' face, sending the photo with a short message.

Accidentally became a thief. I swear I didn't do it on purpose. When you can, please let me know you're safe.

Almost twenty hours later, a small ping had distracted him from filming a new video and Ethan didn't even try to hide his dissatisfied groan at the lack of focus his brother displayed that entire day.

"I'm going to smash it, bro. Just try and answer it." Ethan deepened his voice, trying to seem calm and collected with a threatening tone which only reaffirmed what Grayson refers to as his 'cool voice'.

Grayson, however, didn't care about what his brother had to say. He heard a damn ping, one out of many that came through since she left and although not one of those pings were actually from her, he was convinced that this particular ping is. No threat or violent smack at the top of his head would stop him from checking his phone.

He stood up abruptly, crossing the room in three quick strides to grab his phone. Unlocking it, his eyes lit up at the Lil Birdie message on his Snapchat. He was still deciding if he should call her his Lil Birdie or Sunshine, but for now, Lil Birdie lighting up his screen will be the phrase to make his heart hammer inside his chest.

Safe and sound. If you're free, maybe we can video chat? Just a few minutes, because I'm dead and ready to sleep.

His eyes widen, unaware how his precious Y/N is barely awake on the other side of the world, struggling to keep her eyes open in case he's able to talk.

She taps her fingers nervously at the back of her phone, gnawing on the inside left corner of her bottom lip until a ringing sound scares her and her heart rate skyrockets. With a shaky finger, she taps the green phone icon on her display and lifts the phone up just a little above face level to hide her double chin from Grayson.

No need for him to see that, she thought.

"Miss me already?" Grayson drags out his words, accentuating the last part, smirking when she rolls her eyes at him only a second into their conversation.

"Don't be so cocky, Grayson." She warns with a playful tone, pursing her lips ever so slightly. She has no idea how happy her outspoken, no - holding - back way of talking makes him. She's reserved with everyone outside her inner circle and hearing her talk back or roll her eyes at him openly gives him life.

"I can't believe you forgot to pack my jacket. I mean, sure it's ruined now, but I hoped to fix it. It's literally my favorite piece of clothing. I adore it." She gushes, her voice getting deeper and more desperate with every word she spoke and Grayson couldn't help but feel his insides melt with the sheer passion in her tone. If she speaks that way about an item as trivial as a jacket, he could only imagine how good it would feel to hear her talk about him once she officially gives him her heart.

"Sorry, Lil Birdie. It will be waiting for you when you come back, 'kay? I promise I'll keep it." Grayson crosses his index and third finger to signify a promise and she presses her lips together before sighing.

"More reason for me to come back, then." She forces a smile, her eyes half closed and Grayson finally realizes she's barely holding on to her waking state. But she's doing it for him and that gives him a sense of pride, like he matters. He matters and not just to anyone, but to her.

"Thank you for calling me. I really only expected a text. Get some sleep, Lil Birdie." Though his words are meant to get her to sleep and feel better, his heart wishes her to refuse and stay a little longer.

She does too. It's like saying goodbye to him is becoming an ongoing torture and all she wants to do is grab him by his face and put her lips on his. But she can't, so she just nods. When she nods, blows him a kiss and turns the camera off, Grayson felt his heart sink a little and his face dropped.

Y/N fell asleep almost instantly, Grayson still on her mind. Grayson, however, spent the next few hours filming the end to their video with her on his mind. All he wanted was to wrap her up in his arms and feel her heart beating against his chest. But he couldn't.

Once he all but collapsed on his bed, sleeping alone felt foreign to him. In one night, Y/N managed to crawl into every part of his life and now everything reminded him of her and how he wanted her with him.

Everything, even sleeping in his bed.

He turned on the lights and hugged a pillow to his chest, finding a fading scent of her perfume could still be felt on his sheets. And with the comfort of her smell, Grayson's mind drifts to her face and slowly falls asleep.

"So my parents freaked out." She giggles, rubbing her eyes like she just woke up despite it being four o'clock in the afternoon.

"Can't blame them. I did run you over with my car and then made you miss your flight." Grayson's index finger lingers on his chin, his cheeks puffing before he exhales and drags his lips into a Joker type of grin.

"And you stole my jacket!" She reminds him, shifting the phone in her hand to get better lighting and provide her man with a better image of her to memorize. Despite knowing he's enthralled by her, she's undeniably insecure about her looks. It's a constant fear that Grayson will finally see all the faults she sees in herself and run for the hills, leaving her in the dust.

"You'll never let that go, will you?" Grayson suppresses a groan, biting the right corner of his bottom lip gently.

"It just happened yesterday!" Y/N exclaims, chuckling and though he tries to hide the way her laugh makes his heart flutter, a bright smile creeps up to his lips and betrays every little thing she does to him.

And she really does things to him.

"I promise to make it up to you." Grayson winks and quirks his right eyebrow suggestively.

Y/N blushes with the dirty thoughts flooding her mind, imagining every possible way he could make it up to her, but quickly shakes her head to stop the oncoming hurricane of emotions. Thinking about being so close to him again caused her skin to hurt, not just her heart.

"I'm gonna hold you to that, Dolan." She smirks, returning his wink with a sexier version as her lips part ever so slightly in the process. Grayson's jaw drops and he's forced to lick his lips to keep his desires inside only. It's too soon to openly talk about sex, he decides.

"I can't wait to see you again." He whispers, dropping his head on the pillow behind him and sighs.

"Right back at you." She smiles softly.

A distant shout is heard on her side of the line and she frowns, looking away from the camera and to her right.

"Eto me za minutu! (In a minute!)" She shouts back in her native tongue and Grayson can't help but think her talking in a foreign language (foreign to him, at least) is ridiculously hot. It makes her that much more attractive in his eyes and he never knew that would be a turn on. Thanks to Y/N, Grayson's learning new things about himself as well and that's never a bad thing.

"You gotta go?" He asks sweetly, his forehead wrinkling and eyebrows furrowing ever so slightly that she wishes to be by his side to smooth the skin over with her fingertips' gentle touch.

"Yeah. I'll text you before going to bed, again." Her face falls and her lips quiver for split second. It's such a small change in her behavior that many would overlook and yet, Grayson finds himself becoming an expert in reading Y/N Y/L/N. It's because he cares about her. It's because he wants to know every little thing that goes through her mind and keep her thoughts and dreams to himself, for safe keeping. He wants to share her burdens and let her feel alright again. It's no wonder he keeps a lookout for any movement she makes, no matter how small or insignificant it seems.

"I'll probably text you a hundred times before that." Grayson smiles, knowing he has to let her go and face the black screen of his phone again.

"I know." She responds, sending him a kiss and ending the chat.

What she didn't know is that every kiss she sent, Grayson caught in his hand and brought it to his lips, hoping for the ghost kisses to turn into real ones someday soon.

No one knows what distance means until you're forced to part with someone dear to your heart.

For Grayson, it was a loneliness in every waking hour, even when he's surrounded by people around the clock.

For Y/N, it was like each tick of the clock brought a new ache to her heart, like scar tissue burning with desire to be whole once more.

They longed for each other night and day, talking and texting 24/7.

They began to dread a possibility of Y/N not getting into UCLA, though neither voiced those concerns. No, they were far too involved in studying each other's faces and listening to every sound they'd make.

Y/N found herself falling for Grayson's unusually booming laughter and that wheeze that came with it when he truly found something so hilarious he could hardly breathe and despite it being selfish and weird, she liked being the reason behind that wheeze.

Grayson decided he's entranced by the way she purses her lips and raises her eyebrows whenever she schools him, proving she's right. He loved how brilliant her ideas for their videos are, but so did Ethan. They were already filming a video based on her ideas and it was the first out of three they would make. He could only imagine what it would be like when she joined them for real.

But the wait was torture.

Until it wasn't.

"I got in!" She squealed into the phone, jumping in place as Grayson ran through the house toward Ethan screaming the good news in a way Ethan was sure their entire neighborhood knew it too.

Once they calmed down enough to talk, they couldn't stop their dopey smiles from shining through and they both thought the same thing: we'll be together soon.

"Not only did I get into UCLA, but the dorm too and that's so hard to get into! I can't believe it's actually happening. Like I'm actually going to be there!" Her excited tone made Grayson happy, so undeniably happy for her.

But there was one issue.

"Dorm? You're not going to live here with me and E.?" Grayson questions, a little defensive and definitely shocked by this portion of the news he didn't see coming. He was so sure she'd stay with him and he'd be able to drive her to and from classes whenever she needed him. He wanted her to take up that spot in his bed that he'd stare at every night wishing she was there with him, the same spot he deemed hers from the start. He expected her to at least want to live with him, to try. And he's aware how completely insane his feelings are, how overwhelming they might be for her so he tones it down to a minimum, knowing he'll scare her off if he's too aggressive with the image of their future he's had in his mind for a while now.

Ever since the Psychic twins told him he's going to meet his soulmate on camera and that she'll be his polar opposite off camera, he was skeptical.

But then he met her.

Y/N Y/L/N rocked his world and turned it upside down and he didn't care that she did, because he never felt more alive. He never felt more convinced that this girl really was the one. She wasn't like the ones from his past that would delude him into believing there was something true there. She is ice to his fire as he is light to her darkness.

"It would be too weird. I mean, your fans would find out fast and I just don't want you to have to explain everything. Also, I'd really like to experience living on my own, with my own expenses instead of munching off you. Last thing I need is to depend on someone when I'm over there and I just really wanna do this on my own. We'll still see each other all the time." She reasons with him, and her reasons sound legitimate. It's all true, but Grayson wants more. He respects her and her decisions, but he doesn't want her to struggle when she moves. He wants her to have money to live comfortably at least and he wants her to focus on her studies instead of a part time job she'd barely earn anything doing or one where people would be horrible to her. What he wanted for her is to live this dream and to get a chance to do all the things she wanted to do.

It's when he formulated a plan. Well, two plans to be exact and both made to specifically allow him to take care of her and her not knowing it. It would be his secret, slightly shameful, but his actions are driven with good intentions.

It's also the first of many mistakes he'll make that would lead them astray and push them apart more than any of the outside forces they'll deal with.

"Yeah. That's great. Got my full support." He smirked.

"But you should apply to a couple of foundations that help international students with their money issues." He suggests slyly, awaiting for her reaction but only getting a small shrug for his efforts.

"They usually ask for something in return after college and I'm not sure I can deliver."

"I know a few from my friends and they don't ask for anything but good grades. I'll send you some names." Grayson smiles, already texting his manager.

Set up a fake foundation for me to fund an international student and make sure it can't be traced back to me.

"Hey! I'm about to leave and I wanted to give you a heads up. I know you have all my flight info packed away in that beautiful mind of yours, but I also know you tend to forget stuff from time to time. So! Here's a reminder to buy that horde of baby ducks you were talking about to prank Ethan and don't forget to take your antihistamines first in case you run into some other animals in the shop! And don't forget you have to see the doctor about that sinus infection and make sure it cleared up, okay? I'll be there in a day to help you survive. Oh, and please keep the ducks somewhere so I can pet them!"

Y/N took a deep breath, looking at her tearful parents and older sibling, her heart breaking in two. This country, no matter how bad is still her home. It's where she grew up and it's where she became the person she is. Yes, she might be rough around the edges, but she's most definitely not a bad person. Quite the opposite. She's good and kind and Grayson is slowly, but surely helping that side of her be seen more than ever before.

"Sjeti se šta smo te učili i ne brini za nas. Ponosni smo na tebe. A sad idi i osvoji svijet...I momka. (Remember what we taught you and don't worry about us. We're proud of you. Now go and take on the world...And get the boy)." Her mother caressed her cheek, swallowing tears to maintain a brave face for her daughter.

It's incredibly hard to send your children out into the world and have faith the world won't destroy them. It's every day of praying for their safe return and for the darkness to leave them alone. It's daunting and it's something Y/N never thought she'd be able to do because of how strong her family ties are. But sometimes it's good for a soul to do something so daring, so out of the box that will awaken it and give it more context.

Hugging all three of them tightly twice over, Y/N grabbed her suitcase and duffel bag, and headed through security and toward her future. She looked back with tears in her eyes, choked sobs making her feel like she can hardly breathe. But once she's on the plane, looking at the clouds and the vast blue skies, she found serenity.

I'll be with him soon.

Grayson paced around the airport, trying to fight his nerves and excitement as he knew she would be walking to him any second now and he'd finally have her in his arms for the first time in months. All Grayson wants is to wrap his arms around her and see her smiling back at him without a screen and thousands of miles separating them.

Not long after, passengers started filling out and Grayson stops dead in his tracks, searching for her face in the crowd. He's almost desperate, his heart beating erratically with desire, a want, a carnal need to see her. Just to feel her near him would be enough soul food for Grayson to live off for a few more months, but he didn't have to. Not anymore. He'll get to see her every day now and there were no words to describe how that fact makes him feel.

"Go get her luggage and I'll get her." He tells his brother, finally remembering his brother came with him to help take her things home all the while giving them some alone time to catch up on everything.

"Got it!" Ethan exclaims, pocketing his phone and leaving.

Just as Ethan left, Grayson thought of her changing her mind last second in fear. And just as the thought crossed his mind, she came into view.

Her hair is messy and loose, her tank top a bright pink color and her leggings black because she thinks they make her seem skinny. There's a book in her right hand, a duffel bag over her shoulder and Grayson simply feels his heart steady and fall in place. He knows he is exactly where he's meant to be and nothing and no one can convince him otherwise.

She stuffed the book into her bag, looking up seemingly lost for a moment. Grayson itched to get her attention, but couldn't make himself move. He was frozen in place, not moving even when others brushed his shoulder as they passed him. But then her eyes find his and the noise and people around them fade.

Her eyes widen and her smile, the same one Grayson craved for, makes a momentary appearance before the shock wipes it away. Instead of smiling, her lips part as a small gasp leaves her lips and her eyes gaze into Grayson's. Their mutual initial shock lifts and Y/N moves forward, stumbling almost for a few steps until her legs drive her to move faster and faster, sprinting in Grayson's direction. She throws her bag on the ground and Grayson bends his knees, spreads his arms; all in preparation for what he saw coming.

Y/N jumps, her arms wrapping around his neck and her legs wrapping around his waist. Grayson grunts at the impact, stumbling back a step from the force. His arms circle around her lower back, holding her up.

Spinning around, they finally get that feeling they've been searching for. It's the beating of two hearts synchronizing as if it's a single one. It's the breathing where every breath they take is solely so they can use it to tell each other how much they care and how happy they are.

From the sidelines, it looked as if two reunited after years of being apart and they weren't wrong. Every day they spent away from each other felt like a year had passed in their hearts. Hell, even years they didn't know one another were counted in as the time they spent without each other; wasted time. Time they were aimlessly searching for someone to fill the void inside them, but failed every time. Time that convinced them real love is out of reach, especially Y/N. Grayson hasn't quite gotten there yet, but he would have without her. She turned into a comet that flashed through his entirely dark skies after a loss he suffered that every kid dreads from the moment they learn what mortality and death are. She turned his sky so bright, so damn bright he knew there was nothing to fear because the darkness will never swallow him. Not with her hand in his.

Y/N tries to speak, but her voice falters into unintelligible croaks. She wants to tell him she loves him, that he somehow managed to take her heart with him that day they met in the craziest way possible, but she doesn't know if her words are believable yet and she's afraid it will sound hollow. She's afraid of hurting him, even though she knows he feels the same; but she never spoke such heavy words to another man and now might be a little premature. So, she holds her tongue and smiles, watching happy tears collect in Grayson's eyes.

"I love you." But then he whispers those same words in her ear, his hand tangled in the dreadful mess of her hair and his nose buried in the nape of her neck. He inhales her scent, shamelessly moaning at the sensation. He had missed her smell and with the risk of sounding insane and creepy, he still couldn't hide the satisfaction it brought him. The jacket long lost her scent and he had to wash his sheets eventually, but this...this was a whole new fix.

Y/N moves her head back, furrowing her brows in question before vocalizing her thoughts.

"You mean that?" Her voice is soft, vulnerable. Grayson licks his lips, titling his head slightly to his left before giving her a genuine smile with an honest answer.

"I really do, Lil Birdie. I love you." He repeats his statement, noticing her eyes water with his admission.

When her hand touches his face he keeps his gaze away, unwilling to risk rejection. With her fingers on his chin, she turns his head so he can see that there is no judgement in her eyes, only love.

"I love you too, Grayson Bailey Dolan. God help me, but I really, really do."

He leaned in a little closer, their foreheads touching.

She unwrapped her legs from his waist, touching ground with her own two feet, forcing Grayson to bend down, keeping their intimate touch still while she moves her hands to his face. His hand drifted to her hip. It settled there and pulled her closer. She inhaled sharply, relaxing against his warm chest, chiseled to perfection. She splayed her hand against it, intending to push him away in a small panic when her inner voice screamed he'll break her heart, but instead she left it there, ignoring the darkness from within. She wants to believe in Grayson and she wants to believe that opposites really do attract and they won't come crashing down in heartbreak.

Grayson's breathing quickened as did hers. His head was angled slightly to the side as his lips came closer and closer to hers. She was surprised to find her own lips parted, craving the touch of his lips upon hers. Their breaths mingled. Her heart fluttered inside her chest. At first, it was a delicate butterfly of a kiss, like he's afraid she's but a dream he conjured in his mind. Like a stronger touch might break her. When she doesn't move away, but gives into his touch, Grayson smiles into the kiss before allowing his arms to encircle her.

He drew her to him so there was no distance left between them, their lips finding each other in a kiss that stopped their minds from working. This kiss was desperate, passionate, one meant to compensate for months of not being together. Neither cared about the people around them, nor flashing cameras although they truly didn't even notice them.

All they had until now were memories of a single day and single kiss that served as their salvation and their torment. Grayson recounted that day every night in his mind, scared it would be the only day he'd have with her. He dedicated his life to being with her from the moment of that first kiss, for he knew that if he lost her he would lose himself. He knew Y/N's right; all realists were dreamers once and losing her would make him one. She was the half that made him whole and together they were a force to be reckoned with.

Barely able to separate, Y/N's the first to step back gasping for air. Grayson groans lowly at the loss of contact, his hands stopping her from moving too far. They're both out of breath, their lips swollen and spread into two entirely different smiles. Y/N's struggling with her shyness, wondering if a public make out session is appropriate since she's never done it before. She's never been a fan of PDA, but with Grayson it's almost impossible to keep her hands to herself.

Well, she could but why would she want to? He's perfection and the way her stomach flips whenever he looks her way is enough for her to ditch reason and allow him to do as he pleases with her.

Grayson's smile is different. It's wide and dopey, cocky and tempting. He's watching her cheeks redden and a sense of accomplishment takes root because he did that! He made the ice queen melt with a kiss of his lips and she's melted into him.

"So where's Ethan?!" Y/N clears her throat awkwardly, making Grayson narrow his eyes and raise his left eyebrow. But he can tell she needs to normalize them being together now, that she needs a change in the pace of their closeness and he doesn't take it personally. It's how she is; pulling you in with one hand and pushing with the other and it's not because she doesn't love him, because she does! She told him she does and it's more than he ever expected and a part of him is convinced he's dreamed this entire day up, but he didn't. She simply needs to take things slow, but as long as she's taking things slowly WITH him, he's completely okay with that. No matter what happens, he'll be there for her.

"He grabbed your bags and will take them home, so we got a little bit of time to ourselves." Grayson winks suggestively, making her purse her lips, biting the inside of them to stop herself from smiling as a surge of heat in her cheeks warns her she's probably as red as a tomato by now.

"Um, I'm supposed to take those bags to my dorm. Remember? I need to check in and all or I'll lose my spot. I can't lose my spot, Grayson." She tries to remain calm and collected, stopping herself from yelling at him like she did that first day they met. However, she's also a worrier by nature and Grayson knows that which is why she cannot, for the life of her, understand why he'd send Ethan and her bags to his house instead of letting her settle in immediately.

"I know! Which is why I'll drive you to check in and then to get something to eat and we can take a walk on the beach before I take you back to my house. I swear I'll help you move into your dorm tomorrow after class and whatever else you need, just let me have you with me this one night." Grayson uses his hold on her hips to gently sway her left and right, waiting for her stubbornness to fade and her pursed lips and pointed looks turn to a puddle of love he loved to see in her.

She releases a shaky breath, looking up briefly as if she's questioning a higher force why she's about to give in, but when her eyes move back to Grayson they hold no resentment nor resistance. All they hold is that same love Grayson wanted to see her look at him with and it's like all his dreams just came true.

"Alright! Let's get moving then!" She taps her hands on his chest, signaling to let her go and move, but he just groans once more and leans in to rest his forehead on hers, stilling her for a moment longer. He holds his position for exactly twenty seconds, he counted.

"Now I'm ready." He says quietly, loud enough so only Y/N can hear him.

She slides her hands down, moving his big ones from her hips and takes his right one in her left, leaving his left one vacant so he can grab her things. She pulls him along, watching his awestruck smile and warm eyes looking only at her like she's the only woman in the world and it makes her both happy and scared. Happy because she's blessed with a man like Grayson to adore her so much, but scared because it's a responsibility to keep that look steady for as long as she lives. Scared because he's putting her on a pedestal where she doesn't belong. And scary because she's afraid the initial chemical reactions that made him desire her will fade and he'll finally see her for who she is and she won't be as interesting enough, or pretty enough or enough in general.

It's a paralyzing fear and she's fighting it every second of every minute of every hour since she met him. She's fighting it for him, because if she lets it win, even for a moment, she'd lose him. She'd self-destruct and destroy everything as she has done in the past, but Grayson's too important to lose. She's grown too attached to him and it's like he's become her heart, letting her feel everything she was afraid to feel. Her heart's been a bird without the wings to fly, but then Grayson came in and gave her his wings and she'd been flying ever since.

So, yes. She's afraid to lose him just as much as she'd afraid of being with him.

With Grayson's arm around her shoulders, her arm wrapped around the small of his back, they walked out together, talking about her flight and how her goodbye with the family went. She's been so engrossed in their talk that she completely failed to notice when Grayson stopped, arriving at his car at last. She turned her head to see why they stopped, her eyes popping once she saw the car.

"That's not a Bronco!" She exclaimed, letting go of Grayson, much to his dismay. Yes, he's clingy, but it's only because he feels like he's finally in one piece since she arrived.

"Yeah. Got a new one." Grayson chuckles at her amazement. He watches her circle the car with her entire body rigid in excitement and her hands running through her hair repeatedly until the mess on her hair became a compliment in comparison to what it turned into. But he didn't care. In his eyes, every little thing about her, even her crazy hair, is another thing to love.

"If you ran me over with this, I'd be dead now. Dude, it's a baby blue Porsche! MY FAVORITE COLOR AND MY DREAM CAR!" She shouts, doing a few stationary jumps, her hands clasped together around her mouth and nose to keep herself in check before people start staring at her.

"Did you just call me dude?" Grayson laughs in disbelief, taking a few steps closer to her. It's like gravity, she moves and he moves with her. The further she stands, the more he feels inclined to orbit around her. Y/N would argue Grayson is the Sun, but he knows that's not true. She's the Sun he orbits around, not the other way around.

"Yes. Yes, I did! When did you get this car, you filthy rich dude?!" She reaches out, her fingertips touching the hood before she retracts her hand as if she touched something sacred.

"I told you I got a new car. I even took a photo! We did a video with it!" Grayson's voice turned louder, matching her excited tone and Y/N's jaw slacked until her mouth opened.

"I didn't see any of it because I've been so disconnected from the internet. I kinda used every moment I could to just be with the people in my life. I was perfectly satisfied with my screen time with you without YouTube's helP." She pops the P at the end of her defense, touching the car with her index finger once more before stepping back.

She spins in her spot, grinning from ear to ear and Grayson can't help but stare at her. Though he already knew it, this only confirmed his love for her. He also couldn't deny that he getting a car that happens to be her dream car was anything but a coincidence. It had to have been some divine intervention and he didn't mind it one bit.

"Come on, Birdie. Get in." He unlocks the car, opening her door and she stops for a moment, just pondering.

Out of nowhere, her hand found the back of his neck and it pulled him down fast and effectively toward her face. Her lips pressed against his. She captured his bottom lip between her teeth, giving it a small bite before letting go and ducking inside the car where she literally started petting the interior; the dash included.

Grayson shook his head, his heart still recovering from the unexpected gesture on her behalf and one he very much welcomed anytime. Closing her door, he dropped her bag in the back and moved to his side. He got in, putting his seatbelt on and checking her if she did too. Satisfied once he sees she's already prepared for the drive, Grayson stops and presses his lips together in hopes of muffling a laugh that wanted to escape him when he saw her petting the dash lovingly with actual heart eyes.

"Yes, I'm petting the dash! I'm in love with this car, so let me love it! Don't judge me!" She exclaimed without shame, glancing at her red in the face man and furrowing his brows.

"You love my car more than me." Grayson whines, making Y/N send him a quick glare.

"On that note, you do realize we exchanged I love you's without actually being together. Like, that's weird for you too, right?" Her proclamation of love for the car might have been without shame, but this particular question brought changes on her face. She quirked her right eyebrow and her nostrils flared with a sharp intake of breath she took once her brain caught up with her tongue and she realized what she just asked him.

"Not if you consider I've been sort of married to you in my mind since the moment I looked into your pretty doe eyes for the first time." Grayson says something even more cringe to help alleviate her sudden surge of panic and he can tell she visibly relaxes when her lips curl into a small smile and a tiny nod of her head lets him know she's not freaked out by his advanced thinking.

"Stop saying things like that! I don't know how to reply to these things!" She whines, covering her face like she only just now realized what he said and Grayson gave up on stifling his laugh. He lets his booming laugh turn to a giggle before he's glancing at her with a surprised look on his face.

"Stop what?" His voice is high pitched and soft, making her gnaw on the inside of her cheeks, still hiding from his eyes under the palms of her hands.

"Compliments? Babe, you gotta learn to accept compliments and actually believe in them. I'm a compliment machine and you'll be getting them all the time. Love my cheesiness, damn it!" His tone is playful and his words promising, only making her chest grow uncomfortably small with that pesky heart of hers growing in size from his proximity. It's like he wants to drive her crazy, because that's how she feels around him. Crazy and in love. So, so in love that she has trouble understanding any of it.

"Dokrajčit' ćeš me. (You'll be the death of me.)" She mutters under her breath in her native tongue, making Grayson smile, licking his lips.

"You sound so sexy whenever you speak in your native tongue." He points out and she sees him smirking in the corner of her eye. She's flustered and her body's burning up, but he knows it and she knows he knows that she knows this. He wants to make her feel this way.

Instead of replying and giving him the satisfaction of responding to his teasing, she pretends she didn't hear him and turns up the volume, singing along and Grayson's quick to join in, allowing her to take this as her victory and hides it under the mat.

Grayson listens to her as if her words are golden, watches her like every move she makes is award worthy. He is always thinking so deeply, already with a strategy that's several moves ahead of what she's capable of to make sure he can offer reassurement, compliments, jokes, anything she might need. And in his words there is a kindness, a concern that is so quick that, for him, it is natural. This attentiveness is a part of who he is and that is, if she's being honest, the most attractive feature she's seen in a man for quite some time. It's one of the many reasons why she loves him. Why he's the only man she's ever loved and is absolutely certain has her heart.

She's staring at him, just like she did that day he drove her to the airport. The difference is, she's not staring because she thinks she might never see him again, but because she's struggling to grasp that he's a real, living, breathing, heart-beating human being and that he's interested in loving her out of millions of girls who'd drop everything for him.

Why her? Why is she so special and why can't she see it for herself?

"Like what you see", Grayson asks, not hiding his cocky attitude and Y/N leans her temple on the leather seat of the car and smiles.

"Yeah. The view's pretty great." She decides to feed his ego, giving him something to boast about because no matter how many times she rolls her eyes when he says things like that, she actually loves it. She loves how confident he is, how sure he is and not just about his body, but about every aspect of his life. She admires him for it.

"Too bad we're here. Want me to drive around the block to prolong it?" He parks the car, turning to her with a sexy smirk, his right cheek slightly puffed from it but his face changed fast and his eyes closed shut before he sneezed so loud, effectively erasing his bad boy vibe.

"Bless you." She chuckles, fishing out a tissue from her handbag and Grayson hesitates, looking at her awkwardly.

"What?!" She furrows her eyebrows, her eyes moving from the tissue in his hand and the weird look in his eyes.

"I kind of don't want to blow my nose in front of you." Grayson says nervously, talking nasally because the need to blow his nose is so dire he's forced to breathe through his mouth.

Y/N rolls her eyes and shifts in her seat to face him properly.

"You do realize you blowing your nose in front of me will in no way change my feelings for you. You have allergies and you'll get colds and I don't care. It's human and you're human and I want to be there with you no matter which of these human things get you first. Blow you nose, Apollo and meet me inside, okay?" Her voice is soft and sweet, reassuring with the perfect amount of sass and very, very honest. 

She gives him privacy for this time, letting him blow his nose until it's dry. He's grateful to have her and he appreciates her giving him time to feel free to be disgusting in front of her. He's nervous that she'll see the worst parts of him and that she might not like what she sees. He doesn't want to risk her leaving him. Not until he's cemented himself in her life and she's basically so in love with him that a little booger won't bother her.

Y/N feels her heart race as she walks in, glancing back at the baby blue Porsche to see Grayson's face covered with that tissue and it makes her smile. In a way, he's insecure too and she made herself a promise right then and there; she'll take those insecurities away and convince him there's nothing he can do that would make her want to leave.

Cheating and abuse are the only things she can't handle, everything else can be worked on and for him, she'd work on it.

She walks through the heavy wooden doors, going up to the reception with a well-rehearsed smile on her lips and a few papers she took out of her bag.

"Hi. I'm Y/N Y/L/N and I'm here to check in and get my room key for the on-campus dorm." She rehearsed this statement a million times in her head, her anxiety crafting the right words to say so she doesn't sound unintelligent or improper.

"Just a moment." The man says, typing something in his computer. He asks her to repeat her name and types it in as well, while she's shifting from one foot to another, looking back to the door for Grayson who has yet to come in. She's got her mask back on, but she hates it. She wants to be free and comfortable as she is with Grayson. But whenever she's alone, she's not herself in public. It's always her anxiety that gets her, making her sweat and her heart to pound with every interaction especially when it's something as important as school officials.

"I'm sorry, but you're not on the list." The man informs her and her eyes practically bulge out of her skull. She shakes her head, trying to grasp what he's telling her.

"What? How? It must be a mistake. You sent me confirmation last month via e-mail." She shows the copy of the e-mail to the man, biting the inside of her lip hard enough to stop a string of swear words to leave her mouth. She tastes the metallic taste of blood under the tip of her tongue, ignoring it as the man re-checks and gives her the same answer.

"It says cancelled." He tells her which only confuses her more.

"How is it cancelled? I didn't cancel! There must be a spot left for me. Please?" She pushes, hearing the door open and the creak before it closes behind her, but she doesn't turn around.

"I'm sorry, but everything's filled. Try again next year." He says and she grabs her papers angrily, walking past Grayson and through the door. She stuffs the papers in her bag, allowing her hands to get lost in her hair as the stress makes her implode.

"What happened?!" Grayson follows her, watching her pace on the sidewalk like she's losing her mind and he feels guilty. He feels guilty because he went behind her back and cancelled her room. He did it so they can be together more and to save her from crazy roommates, so she doesn't have to listen to them having sex in the bed next to her and so she can study in peace.

"I'm not on the list. There was some kind of a mistake and they already gave my room to someone else. What the hell am I supposed to do now?!" She talks fast, stumbling over her words and a hint of an accent comes out with them.

Grayson jumps, grabbing her elbows and steadies her. He cups her face, forcing her to look up and into his eyes before he brushes his nose against hers, hearing her heavy sigh right after.

"You will live with me and Ethan. We don't mind. Your stuff is already there and if you want a room for yourself, we'll make it work." Grayson offers, watching her already shake her head.

"It's so far from campus, Gray." But he cuts her off.

"I'll wake up every morning and drive you to class and pick you up after. Okay? Don't worry, Birdie. I got you." He smiles widely to help her relieve the worry now etched in every line of her face.

"I'm so lucky to have you." She buries her face in his chest, hugging him as tightly as possible and Grayson's smile fades when he hugs her back. His guilt is growing with every moment she worries or feels like a burden and he hates himself for what he did. Because now, he knows that he didn't do it for her, but for himself. He did a selfish thing and if she ever found out, his fear of losing her might be justified.

"I love you, Y/N. I'll do anything for you." And he would, which is exactly why he hates himself now. But he'll make sure she doesn't feel the consequences and if she wants a dorm next year, he won't protest and he definitely won't sabotage her.

"No more sappiness. You promised me food and some beach time, so let's do it!" Y/N pushes the palms of her hands into Grayson's chest, helping herself detach from him before her brave persona disappears and she gives into the tears that she's swallowing.

"Mm'kay. C'mon." Grayson pecks her forehead, opening her door again and letting her in first. He wanted her to know he'd be there and he'd be a proper gentlemen for her. He doesn't voice it, but he's just happy she's willing to let him open her doors because many girls don't allow it anymore, claiming he's taking their 'independence', when all he really wants is to show respect and appreciation.

She doesn't say anything either, because she loves that he's willing to treat her so well. For the longest time, she was sure gentlemen and manors are extinct. Not anymore.

"What do you want to eat?" Grayson asks, tapping his index fingers on the wheel to the rhythm of the music.

"Umm...Fries? Doesn't really matter, as long as it's gluten free." She says, making Grayson turn to her abruptly with furrowed eyebrows. He didn't realize she was the type.

"Sure." He mumbles under his breath, now making Y/N look at him with questions bubbling up in her mind.

"What?" Her voice is softer and high pitched, a little defensive as well.

"Just didn't think you're the type to avoid gluten. It's not the plague, ya know?" He remarks, forcing Y/N to shake her head in disbelief. She bites her lower lip to stop herself from yelling at him for the second time today. He really did tick her off sometimes.

"You do realize gluten free diets aren't popular for dieting reasons, but because of health issues. To some people, me included, gluten is just as bad as the plague. I'm intolerant and even a grain of wheat will make me very, very sick. Don't judge people for their eating habits, Gray. I didn't peg you as the type." She throws his words back at him, angrily and with no mercy. Her tone's sharp and she aims to kill, just as he's used to and even though she's aiming for him, Grayson can't help but feel content about it. It means she doesn't fabricate anything for his benefit. It means she's straightforward with him and it's more he's ever gotten from any of the girls he's dated in the past.

"You're right. I'm sorry. I just assumed because you had that pizza and cornflakes when you were over last time." Grayson explains, glancing back to the road and to Y/N frequently. He needed to gauge her reaction about everything, because he's become rather comfortable with reading them and deducting what she thinks or feels based on what he sees.

"The box said gluten free and your cereal have the same mark at the back of the bag too." She points out something even he didn't know. He never watched for those marks, only about lactose since he's intolerant and now he feels like an ass for judging her, even for a moment.

"Well, I'm an idiot." He presses his lips together, disappointed in himself.

Y/N turns her head toward him, reaching out with her left hand and letting it rest on his leg, right above his knee. She hears him take a sharp breath at the initial contact, his eyes immediately following her hand as her fingers give him a light squeeze.

"You're not an idiot. Just a little half-cocked. Never judge a book by its covers is a good way to start. I've read the most beautiful books with the ugliest, oldest covers hiding the rich story within. It's never about the way things seem, because there's always more hiding beneath."

They drove slowly, the traffic keeping them cooped up inside longer than Grayson expected. He opened the sunroof, letting the air in and eliciting a smile that showed her chubby cheeks as result. It's empowering to know he can make her smile. It's unbelievably rewarding.

"There's a restaurant right there, by the ocean. Thought you might appreciate it!" Grayson smirks, draping an arm around Y/N as he points to the place he had in mind with his other hand. She nods, wrapping an arm around him too, walking the cement line instead of trudging through sand in her sneakers.

"Love the ocean breeze." She inhales the salty scent of the air around them, closing her eyes and trusting Grayson to lead the way and keep her safe. There's a soft smile on her lips, one of content and pure bliss, something rarely seen upon her face.

"And I love you." Grayson pecks her temple, letting those words out again. She's heard him say it before, but every time he repeats it it's solidifying the first statement, making her head spin with the closeness they've managed to achieve in such a short time. It still makes her skin crawl and her fight or flight system activate, but it also gives her strength to rise above those fears and protect Grayson's heart from the pain. 

Even when she was half a world away, she felt close to him. He's been on her mind during the day and in her dreams during the night. His name is her favorite song and his voice the most heavenly melody. Those brown eyes she tends to get lost in hold so much innocence and purity, genuine emotion and a child-like naivety, which is where her sense of protectiveness comes from. She knows he's too good, too sweet of a heart to see what true evil looks like. He doesn't recognize people who want to use and abuse his kind heart and he'd never retaliate. But she won't let him be used anymore. She won't let them hurt her man. She sees through people a lot better than he does.

"I'm supposed to say it back, right?" She looks up, squinting as the sun hits her face and blinds her to the world. It leaves only a partial image of Grayson in her line of sight, one where he looks like an absolute angel with the light reflecting of his wing shaped earring. And it's a real sight to behold; his beauty is truly stunning, disarming and the sunlight halo leaves her awestruck.

He's a lot like the Sun, with so many people orbiting around him. Some come too close only to be burned by the proximity and others are too far, freezing in the distant shade where his rays don't reach. But some of them are in perfect range, revolving around him in a distance that's perfectly calculated so the heat they feel warms their insides and softens their hardened hearts. He once called her the Sun, but for her he is. He's her Sun.

"That would be a good idea, yeah!" Grayson chuckles. His chuckle is slow and mellow, sweet like honey.

She steps out of his embrace, shifting her body to stand in front of him instead of by his side. She stops his walk, eyebrows raised. Bopping his nose with the tip of her right index finger, Y/N licks her lips and cocks her head to the side.

"Of course I do. I do love you. No matter the distance between us, my attraction to you remains constant. You could be at the ends of the earth like we were even before we met and still I would feel pulled toward you.  I've always felt this pull, like we're magnets, forming our very own magnetic field that lets us have this crazy feelings even we don't understand." She points to his chest and then herself.

"There is something about you and I that matches, each half loving the other so fully that a life alone would be meaningless. So though it is your gorgeous brown eyes, your Apollo tanned skin, your face that I look upon, know that this attraction runs deep to my core. I don't do superficial, I never did. Which is scary, but scary is good. It means this is real. It means I'm aware how deep we've gotten and how incredibly in love I am even though this is only the second time I get to hold your hand." She slips both her hands in his, interlocking their fingers while staring at the way even their hands differ.

His are big, tan, soft and both crowned with bracelets. One's a brand bracelet that gives him sugar daddy vibes and the other is a baby blue one for cancer awareness, the same cancer that took his father's life. His right thumb has a small, faded scar, one that he claims mysteriously appeared and has been there since birth.

Her hands are pale and small, a little rougher than his and her nails aren't manicured like his at all. She wears two rings on her right hand, one on her index finger that her mother gave her with an elvish symbol and one on the finger next to it with a snowflake her sister gave her for good luck.

Their hands are so different, but fit perfectly. With his hand in hers, she felt like anything is possible. She liked the feeling, the notion of what it represented. He made her free from the shackles she thought she'd carry for eternity and though she's still got remains of the wounds they caused and it makes her angry when he can't relate, it's slowly healing. He's slowly healing her.

"You talk like a poet and I feel so dumb and proud at the same time." Grayson smiles, the corners of his eyes crinkling, showing those laugh lines that served as proof his life had been a good one. She was happy about that.

"Nah. I'm just showing off. You inspire me." She shrugs, moving to the side and letting his left hand go, but keeping the right one in place.

"I like that."

They finally get to eat, ordering food that helped avoid both of their issues - lactose and gluten. While Grayson snapped their meal, he kept her face out of the shot as he didn't think she'd appreciate him openly telling his fans about them just yet, or at all. Grayson's aware how his fans can be and he wants to, needs to protect her from that exposure. 

Alas, we don't always get what we want.

The moment he logs into twitter, his entire feed is filled with fans FREAKING THE HELL OUT as they wrote themselves. The video and photos of them kissing at the airport went viral, but no one has figured out her identity yet.

He feels the heat rush to his head and a surge of panic take over his heart and lungs. In the grip of silent panic, with wild eyes, pupils dilated, Grayson looks around them. He's scanning the area for anyone with a camera, for anyone pointing at them or possibly staring. He's looking for any warning signs that someone there knows them as they might overwhelm Y/N if they come up to him. She hasn't seen what it means to be his girl, not when his job gets involved.

"You okay, dušo (sweetie)", Y/N uses a nickname in her native tongue. It's literal translation being soul, because that's what she feels he is, a big part of her soul learning only now to be whole.

Grayson chuckles nervously and Y/N can sense the shift in his behavior, noticing his forehead wrinkle at her use of a foreign language. Regardless of his lack of understanding, he reaches out and takes her hand in his, gently rubbing her knuckles with his thumb while giving her a reassuring nod.

"Yeah, just saw the squad chat and noticed they laid out a thousand video ideas." He feels nauseous, on the brink of throwing up. He doesn't want to lie to her, but he doesn't want to ruin today for them. It's enough that he messed with her living arrangements, he didn't want to completely ruin her life, despite her arguing he did exactly that the first time they met.

"Oh. If you want to go home and work on it, I'm totally fine with that." She maintains eye contact with Grayson until he shakes his head vehemently.

"Nope. Beach and sunset after food. I promised you that and I'll keep that promise. I mean, once you start school tomorrow, you might be a bit busy for me and I want to use every moment because time with you is precious." He leans forward, bringing her hand closer to his lips. Pressing his plush pink face pillows on her knuckles, Grayson watches her smile widen. Smitten with her, desperately wishing he could kiss her on the lips instead of just her hand, he moves his head forward and leans his cheek on her hand.

"I feel like I'm going to melt." She whispers, giddy and her eyes glisten with a rush of happy tears, a teaser of the waterfalls that will not fall.

Grayson licks his lips, dragging the tip of his tongue across his bottom lip slowly all the while quirking an eyebrow at the pink coloring of Y/N's cheeks. He loves to flirt with her, seduce her and enjoy the way she responds to him. She says he's got an innocence to him that she's never seen, a purity of sorts. But in truth, it's what he sees in her. She's so oblivious of her incredible looks and unique way of thinking, of her very lovable quirks and weird talents that he wishes to know more. She's too self-deprecating and it hurts him to see just how blind she is to her own unadulterated flawlessness.

"You cracked my evil plans!" He snickers, watching her narrow her eyes at him all the while fighting a smile from cracking.

"Hey, can we talk about how I'm going to repay you for letting me stay with you and for the rides?" She changes the topic again and Grayson knows she needs to do it to stop herself from outright panicking about their bond.

"You're not paying." Grayson states, popping a fry in his mouth and Y/N's left eye narrows at the sound, but she doesn't say anything. The sound of people walking and talking, of the ocean's waves coming and going, it all helps to drown out the noise of Grayson's loud chewing.

"I gotta do something, Gray. I can't just live there for free." She lowers her voice, deepening it so he can pick up on the seriousness in her words.

"You can help with chores, but I'm not letting you pay." Grayson reaches out, wanting to rub his knuckle down her cheek. Y/N slaps his hand away, frowning.

"It will make me incredibly uncomfortable to stay with you and your twin brother and not contribute in any way, shape or form. Plus, does Ethan even know you're offering me to stay with you?" She asks, raising her eyebrows.

"He knows and you can't pay us. Hell, Ethan would be the first one to refuse. He's screech loudly like a velociraptor until you stopped trying to pay us. He'd kill me if I even considered it. We earn obscene amounts of money while you're living off a scholarship. All I want from you is to study and chase your dreams, to be happy and make friends and IF you want, to just share duties around OUR home. Just let me do this for you. Please." He slouches in his chair, watching Y/N rub her chin nervously. She rests her chin on the back of her hands, closing her eyes and pressing her lips tight in thought.

"And if we break up?" She opens her eyes, her voice weak and vulnerable.

"That won't happen. But if that ever happens, you're more than welcome to stay. I love you, Y/N. I don't see those feelings disappearing anytime soon." Grayson admits, not caring that he's always pouring his heart open for her to drink up. He needs her to know he'd never hurt her. Not intentionally. Sure, he always has good intentions and she might hate some of the things he did for her, so yes, she might want him to let her go if she finds out about it, but he'd never be the one to end things. He'll fight for her, tell her she's the only girl he could ever be with and that he'd rather be alone than without her. He'll tell her he's the guy for her. He'll do anything for her to forgive him if that day ever comes...until she asks him to let her go.

"Okay." She whispers, feeling conflicted about the situation. She's always been taught not to depend on someone and that's exactly what she's doing now. She has to depend on Grayson and though she loves and trusts him, it's not something she wants or takes lightly. She wanted to be on her own for the first time ever, to be her own boss, to be independent and fierce and learn to fight for herself and find her voice. The possibility of not being able to do any of that with the changes to her plans have turned her mood sour.

"I'll pay the bill and we can go enjoy the little sun we got left." Grayson blows her a kiss, walking away to pay the waiter while she remains at the table, blankly staring at her plate.

**

Grayson could sense Y/N's mood changed drastically. Knowing she's stubborn like no one he'd ever known, topping Ethan and James easily, he figured she'd have to find a way to feel useful or she'll lose her mind about him paying for everything. She's not the type to bathe in his money or to enjoy a sugar daddy relationship and to prevent that, he found a solution.

"How about you do photo shoots for me and Ethan? Like also behind the scenes photos when we're filming. And you can help us with video ideas and even to set up?" He offers, hoping to shake her up a little and give her a slight spring to her steps.

There a pause, a silence between them lasting exactly seventeen seconds before Y/N swings her arms around Grayson's neck, jumping to completely wrap herself around him. Grayson giggles, his laugh turning high pitched and nasal. He rests his hands on her upper thigh, just below her ass and spins them loosely, but only once because she moves her head to face him. With her eyes and nose crinkled, a small laugh escapes her unexpectedly to tug at Grayson's heart.

"Kiss me." She's barely keeping her breathing steady with the look his eyes hold. The Sun's illuminating every speck in his now hazel eyes.

This feeling is so strange; it stretches throughout her whole body. It's overwhelming, yet makes her feel complete. It has no bound nor length nor depth; it's just absolute. It feels as though she's in a dangerous fire, yet completely safe at the same time. Because Grayson Dolan is her fire and she doesn't care if she burns out from the love she holds for him. It feels as though someone's given her peace. It feels as though her heart is dancing around her chest; and a hole she's been aware of her entire life, has been filled. She feels light, like she's on top of the world yet her heart is constricting and it feels as if there's no oxygen in her lungs.

His lips press against Y/N's with passion, love, and affection as his warm hands roam all over thighs, ass and back, leaving a trail of sparks in their wake. He squeezes her bum as they kiss, causing her to arch her back and moan softly into his mouth. She tilts her head to the side, her chest rising and falling dramatically under his influence. He smiles into the kiss as her fingers tug at his short hair on the back of his neck and her other hand scratches at his back.

"You're so beautiful." He whispers against her lips, almost in anguish.

"You talk too much." She retorts, nibbling on his bottom lip and presses her fingertips into his shoulder as if he's the air she so desperately needs.

"As much as I love kissing you and trust me this is killing me, I really wanna go for a swim with you." Grayson kisses the left corner of her mouth, littering her left cheeks in butterfly light kisses.

"How? I don't have my swimsuit." She moves away from him, releasing her grip on his waist and Grayson lets her down gently on the sand.

"I don't mind." Grayson wiggles his eyebrows, smiling smugly at her 'o' shaped mouth.

"I am not skinny dipping in the ocean!" She exclaims, looking around to see if there's anyone around them.

"Underwear then?" Grayson offers and she narrows her eyes at him with suspicion.

"You just want to see me naked!" She points an accusatory finger at him, watching him click his tongue and nod.

"I'll take mine off too!" He smirks, suggestively raising an eyebrow until she's running a hand through her hair and looking at him like he's eye candy. But to her, he was never just eye candy; he's soul food.

"I don't mind you taking your clothes off!" She cocks her head to the left, folding her arms across her chest and awaiting him to make a move.

Without doubt, Grayson raised both hands up and to the collar of his shirt. He tucked his fingers inside the collar, maintaining eye contact with Y/N. He pulled his white shirt off and threw it to the sand, giving her a dazzling smile and a daring look. She watched him kick off his on-brand sneakers and unbutton his jeans.

She swallows thickly, taking in every little move he makes with lust filling her body. He pulls the zipper down in a painfully slow manor, teasing Y/N with a small wiggle that made her chortle in response. He slides the jeans off and they find themselves in the sand as well, his thighs and all the tattoos now in the open. But that's not the only thing she sees. He's got a pulsating, rather large bulge hidden inside his teal boxer briefs. It's hard not to let her eyes wander and fixate on a particularly wrapped gift basket inside, but she forces her eyes to look up.

That doesn't help either.

Every single inch of his skin is marked with perfection, each line accentuating an ab she'd like to drag the tip of her tongue over. His arms are huge, veins visible and curving around his muscles like snakes that give his arms the power to kill. His shoulder is distinctly pointy and sharp, his collarbone just calling for her to tap her fingertips along the curve. His neck is strong and inviting, awaiting love bites along the prominent vein on the left.

But nothing could compare to the flawlessness of his face. With a jawline that can cut you, a slight stubble lining it and framing his lips, cute nose to boop and brown eyes that turn hazel under the sunlight downing in his desire for her...well, Y/N finally understood the arrogant eyebrow raise and cocky smirk he bestowed upon her. Looking like that, he had every right to be confident.

She's always alluded temptation in the past, finding those who surrender to their primal instincts weak. But Grayson standing in front of her with his body on display without a single imperfection had gotten to her. Her pulse started to race, only matching the pounding of her heart she couldn't slow down. She started to sweat, lick her lips subconsciously and fidget with her fingers.

Temptation is a tricky thing, often sneaking up to you when you least expect it. Y/N was so sure that only dreamers fell victim to its alluring siren song; that she would be spared as a realist. Turns out no one is immune, especially not when Apollo himself is asking you to join him in a crazy adventure. And Grayson is Y/N's Apollo, her own brand of temptation. He's temptation incorporated, undeniable and impeccable.

He starts walking back, making sure Y/N has full view of his front before he turns around, and giving her an entirely different view to drool over.

She doesn't wait long, taking her clothes off so fast she almost tripped and fell face first into the sand. Grayson barely got a toe into the ocean when Y/N rushed into the water without hesitation.

She embraces the wave, giving into it. A small squeal lets Grayson know the water is cold, but all he can see is a hardcore realist jumping head first into the ocean in only black underwear, allowing him to ignore the cold and follow her in. He'd follow her through a fire, so why would he stop at cold water?

He shouts, gasping for air as the cold water envelopes his body entirely. Y/N laughs at his reaction loudly, snorting in the process, surprising both Grayson and herself. She covers her mouth quickly, embarrassed by the incident which Grayson finds adorable.

"Take my hand!" He reaches out, watching her struggle against the current. He waits for her hand to hold onto his before pulling her to him, greatly fighting his urge to rip what's left of her clothes off and take her right then and there. He doesn't even look, but that's not without difficulty.

"Woah!" She presses closer to him for body heat, looking up at his wet hair now slicked back with only a few strands sticking up on his head. He's looking deeply into her eyes, an irresistible need to look at all of him taking over her. Her lips part as she inhales deeply. The site is a turn on for her. The water drips down his hair softly. And the drops slowly make their way to his body and the perfect abs he has. The water defines his well-organized and obviously worked out body.

Yup, temptation, she concludes. APOLLO, she hears that part of her brain obsessed with Greek mythology scream. His body is a siren song meant to trap her and she knows it.

"You got a bit of drool there." Grayson jokes, snapping her back to reality.

She truly seems entranced by him and it's feeding his ego, letting it skyrocket and fill him with a new sense of confidence. Sure, girls usually find him hot and he's used to them lusting for his body, but there's something about the way Y/N looks at him with hunger and tenderness, craving and love that he'd never had before. He never had the best of both worlds: love and lust, caring and passion, trust and loyalty, beauty and intelligence. It's uncharted waters for Grayson, but he's eager to explore. He's always been an adventurer, that's for sure.

She rolls her eyes at him, pushing from him only to splash him with water.

"You just ruined a perfect moment!" She shouts, frowning when she sees his eyes flicker from her black lacy bra to her face continuously, like it's hypnotizing. Only then does she realize she's exposed in front of him, completely showing every imperfection. Not only did she hate the extra fat on her stomach and those pesky love-handles, but also the stretch-marks that showed up on the sides and on her hips, ass and behind her knees. She always kept those hidden, ashamed of the thick thighs that many hated. Not only did they add onto her weight, but they also ruined every pair of pants she owned. So, no. Y/N isn't a fan of her body and the way she hugs her body awkwardly and moves out of the water silently forces Grayson to trudge after her.

"Hey?! What's hap - happening?!" He almost falls, interrupting his words to keep himself steady.

She puts on her top fast, struggling with the leggings since she's still wet. Grayson frowns, running a hand through his soaked hair, putting the other one on her shoulder, effectively halting her movements.

"What's wrong?!" He asks in the softest, smallest voice she's ever heard him use.

"Mrzim kako izgledam. Ti si savršenstvo, od glave do pete. Ja...nisam. Ni blizu. Ne znam zašto me želiš. Ne razumijem u čemu je kvaka. (I hate the way I look. You're perfection, head to toe. I'm...not. Not even close. I don't know why you want me. I don't understand where's the catch.)" She finishes her insecure ramble, constantly swatting the hair getting in her face due to the wind and Grayson's utterly confused because he didn't understand a single word she said. But he could tell it wasn't something nice, nor uplifting. So, he wraps an arm around her, pulling her side to his chest and rests his chin on top of her head. He gives her a moment of sincere warmth and kindness, one moment to collect herself before he turns himself to face her. He cups her cheeks, forcing her lips in a pouting position by default and he can't help but notice she looks like a vulnerable girl with all her masks gone, showing him what's truly inside.

"I have no clue what you just said, but I know you're upset. If it's about your body, don't be. I love having something to grasp when I get to taste your voluptuous lips. I find you very, very appealing to the eye and those stretch-marks so many girls hate are actually badass. It's like warrior stripes that signify every battle you've had to win to be here today. Your body is a map of life's struggles you faced and I love your body. I love you in every shape or size and I hope that one day, you'll love it just as much. Just don't forbid me to do it now." Grayson kisses the top of her nose, then her lips before lowering himself entirely to kiss the side of her left thigh, just below the band of her underwear, squeezing her right hip at the same time.

Y/N sighs, feeling her body betray her and tremble under his touch like he's got healing properties and every kiss he leaves on her skin is remedy. Unable to handle being so intimately touched, she moves back and sits on the sand, leaving Grayson flustered and wishing for more. But he understands this is one of those moments she pulls away, needing to center herself.

Gosh, she's stubborn, he thinks.

He sits by her side, smiling instantly when her head drops on his shoulder, the temple resting just below his pointy bone, feeling a faint pulse on her head.

They sat there in silence, just enjoying each other's company. Her eyes drifted to the horizon, the sky turning clouds that resemble cotton candy various shades of pink, contrasting the blue water that slowly turns black as the sky once the Sun is no longer casting the light that illuminates every drop.

They walked together, like drunken teenagers, clinging to one another. Once in the car, they blast music, singing along to every song that comes on. They were more than ready to settle in their now shared home and relax for the night.

"Feels like another lifetime." She mutters under her breath. Judging by Grayson's confused face, she knew she had to clarify.

"It feels like I haven't been here for so long, if ever. I always assumed that entire night was a dream I made up to keep myself afloat." She walks inside, Grayson following her every step. Surprisingly, she remembers perfectly how to find her way around and he can't help but fix anything that's not in its usual place. He doesn't want her to think they're messy.

"Where's Ethan?" She asks sweetly, looking around for the other half of the Dolan duo. Grayson shrugs, shouting.

"Yo, E.!"

"Bro!" Ethan shouts back and Grayson nods.

"He's in the kitchen." He states and it's Y/N's turn to look confused. Grayson gives her a crooked smile, going to the kitchen only to find his brother munching on a pizza, giving him deja vu.

"Got some pizza, so fhig in!" Ethan mumbles, still chewing so some of the words are muffled and twisted, but it makes Y/N smile and her eyes focus on the box. She nods toward the box, pointing out the gluten free mark to her boyfriend before grabbing a slice and sitting by Ethan.

"This is so freaky. It's like history repeating itself." Grayson sits down slowly, eyes flickering from his brother to his girl with his lips slightly parted.

"Except she's staying for good this time around!" Ethan exclaims, wiping his mouth with the back of his right hand.

Y/N pauses, lowering the slice she was about to take a bite out of and looks to Ethan.

"How long have you known?"

Grayson's eyes widen and Ethan chokes on his bite, coughing to create a diversion long enough to figure something out. Y/N taps his back repeatedly, helping him or so she thinks.

"Ugh, uh - Grayson texted me the news earlier. Dorm cancelled, right?" He grabs a glass of water, sipping on it and turning away from Y/N to openly, but silently freak out.

"Yeah." The cloud of suspicion lifts and she keeps on eating, nudging Grayson to eat too with her leg under the table.

"I'm actually glad you're here. That way he doesn't bitch about how much he misses you all the time." Ethan ignores the glare Grayson sends him, smiling at Y/N like he's not trying to embarrass his brother.

"Oh, but then you'll have to find something else to bitch about, instead of just bitching about him missing me." Y/N remarks, raising both eyebrows at Ethan before standing up to get herself some water. She didn't mean it in a bad manor, nor was she being mean spirited, it just came out. It's like an instinct.

"I like her." Ethan tells Grayson, happy she's not a tender little flower he can't mess around with.

"I LIKE YOU!" He shouts, so Y/N can hear him too and she smiles into her glass, her back is turned to the boys.

"I'm already taken!" She shouts back, taking out a few different pills from her bag and popping them in her mouth, washing them down with water before turning to them.

"Correction. I love her." He whispers to Grayson, awkwardly resting his chin in his hand.

"So, I'll clear my room", Grayson starts, but Y/N stops him immediately.

"No, you won't. We can share the room or I can sleep on the couch. Your choice." She swallows thickly when Grayson's lips spread into a smile, realizing the temptation she felt today will be nothing compared to temptation she'll feel sharing a bed.

"Sharing it is! You can decorate however you want, not just in there but all around as well. Just let me know if you need something and I'll get it for you. I'll clear half my closet and drawers and..." Grayson began to list cheerfully, causing Y/N to interject.

"Grayson, honey, breathe." She hears Ethan snicker beside her, ending it with a playful slap on the shoulder.

"Got it. Slow and steady." Grayson clasps his hands in front of him on the table, fondly looking at his girl who desperately wished for a shower and he could tell.

"I'm gonna shower, let you two talk...or not." She gets up with a sigh, leaning in to peck Grayson's lips before sauntering into his room and going straight for the shower.

It felt good to wash the dirt, salt and a tiny bit of grief off her. In the shower, she could finally let a tear or two out, just to ease up the pressure building in her chest. It's been about two days since she left home and she's already homesick. Grayson makes it easier, though. It feels like he's a home on it's own.

Walking out in just a towel, she goes straight for his closet to steal some of his clothes. However, once she faces that side of the room, right behind the door is something she didn't expect to see. She screams, scaring both guys into running fast toward the room.

By the time they arrived, she's already laughing at her own stupidity, not believing herself.

"What happened?!" They ask in unison, each standing by her side in case she needed protection.

"I thought the fucking Nutcracker was a man or something. I died!" She cackles, slapping a hand over her chest.

"Man, he's creepy!" She exclaims, wiping away tears and Ethan's nodding, agreeing with her.

"No clue how he sleeps with that in here." Ethan adds fuel to a growing fire and Grayson reaches out from behind Y/N to slap him on the back of his head.

"I'll move it. Don't worry." He pecks her cheek and she frowns, pursing her lips.

"Nah. Don't want you to change everything up for me." She waves his offer off, because she does like nutcrackers...just not giant ones that look like demons in the night.

"But I want to." He moves in and wraps his arms around her waist, kissing her neck until all the hair on her body stands up.

"You sure?" She leans into him and Ethan's already thinking what Grayson knew from the start.

He's fucking whipped and he loves it.

"YuP", Grayson pops the P for effect, inhaling the scent of her shampoo. It's not one of his, meaning she's already unpacked some of her things.

"You organize the closet how you want to and I'll get this fella to the pool-house." He leaves a kiss on her temple before doing as he promised with Ethan's help, giving Y/N a chance to get dressed and put her clothes in as well. She's quick, just putting her clothes on racks and the rest is already folded for the drawers. She jumps on the bed and texts her parents to see how they're doing, but they're already asleep. Closing her eyes as she hears Grayson bickering with Ethan about a plant in the distance and a dopey smile grows on her face. This will be a challenge, but one she welcomes.

"You asleep, Lil Birdie?" Grayson whispers in her ear, startling her. She yawns, stretching her hands and legs before curling into his side, resting her head on his chest.

"Do you believe in alternative universes?" She asks, nuzzling into his chest further. Grayson wraps an arm around her to keep her in place, playing with a few curled tips of her hair falling on her face.

"Yeah. I do." Grayson replies. Holding her soft pale face gives him a sense that he finally belongs, that he is loved. Her face isn't perfect nor smooth. It has some wrinkles too, her cheeks have acne and scars but it doesn't take away from her beauty. It enriches it. Sure, skin as smooth as velvet and perfect like a baby's is desirable, but this little imperfection of hers relaxes him. It assures him she's not an elusive dream, but reality and she's his. She's all his.

"Do you think other versions of us found each other? Like we did?" Her eyes are closed and the way she speaks is slow, lazy. She's half asleep, but she's thinking about the possibility of other Y/Ns and Graysons loving each other, being as happy as they are.

"I think no matter what happens or where I am, this planet and reality or another, I always find you. We were always meant to meet, Lil Birdie. It's written in the stars. I know it is." He looks down, noticing her breathing evened out and she's out cold.

His phone pings, and though he wants to sleep, he chooses to look at the message.

From: Linda Jamison (Psychic twins)

You found her.

He looks up to the ceiling, grinning so widely his face hurts. But Linda just told him he found her as she lays in his arms and he's happiest he's ever been. Ever since her eyes locked with his, her hand brushed against his, her slightly raspy voice reached his ear, Grayson knew he would be putty in her hands. Her lips against his give him such a rush that nearly makes him fall over. Each day with her is another day he falls more for her smile, her laugh, her personality, her mind and everything else about her. He knew he found the one even before they told him, but having it confirmed is insane and peaceful. It prompts him to think about their future down the line more than he already has, about their house and marriage and kids...it's all lining up in his head that night as he slowly loses his battle with sleep and drifts away with Y/N in his arms.

Once they woke up, Grayson was giddy and overly excited about driving her to class. He skipped about the entire time, making sure she packs all her things and he even made her a fruit salad for later. His enthusiasm didn't go unnoticed as Y/N kept shushing him, knowing Ethan's still asleep. She couldn't understand how he can be so chipper at six in the morning when the Sun's barely up. Though she loved hearing his voice, she definitely needed some silence after just opening her eyes. She soon realized that's not an option and embraced it as she embraced Grayson too, effectively stopping his jabberer and calming him down.

"Breathe, Grayson." Her voice is muffled by his chest, her hands sliding into his back pockets, lazily resting there while he squeezes her tightly. He's a hugger, she knew that. It's not just any kind of a hug that she's used to, but a soul, bone-crushing kind of a hug where he doesn't let up, pressing her as close to him as possible until she starts seeing stars and needs to take a breath. It's one of those hugs where you know the person doesn't want to let you go, that it's not a courteous hug but one seeded in love, a genuine want for closeness.

She hears him take a deep breath, his chest moving accordingly. The air he releases with his exhale plays with the electrified strands of her hair, forcing them to dance and bend under the pressure until it's gone and they stand still once more.

"Sorry. I'm just happy you're here, Lil' Birdie." Grayson leans his chin on top of her head and closes his eyes, gently swaying them left to right. He wants nothing more than to keep her right there in his arms, in the privacy of his bedroom. But he can't and he knows he can't. He has to let her fly and hope she comes back to him. There are no words to show her how much he loves her, nor song perfect enough to describe it. So he takes his soul and pours it out at her feet, waiting patiently for her to give him some sign she loves him back. He'll always put her before him, until his last breath roams in. Until the end of time, he'll be hers and he prays she'll be his.

"Me too, Gray bear." She taps his buttock, letting him know she needs oxygen and he releases her from his death grip. He furrows his eyebrows, narrowing his eyes at the nickname she used, maintaining eye contact until she rolls her eyes.

"I'm trying some things out." She shrugs, throwing her book bag over her shoulder and going into the kitchen. She takes out a pack of pills from her bag, stuffing three pills in her mouth and washing it all down with a large chug of water.

Grayson walks it, seeing her putting the cap back on and slipping the bottle in her bag too.

"Ready, Birdie?" He gives her a crooked smile as he leans on a counter, watching her nervous smile surface.

"Yeah. Let's go." She bites the right corner of her bottom lip, before standing on her tiptoes and pecking his lips. She passes by him, leaving Grayson flustered and blushing, scrambling after her clumsily like a deer on ice.

He manages to outrun her, accidentally shoving her into the door and getting an angry 'HEY' on her behalf. Sheepish, Grayson cups her face and pecks her lips, running to the car to open the door for her.

"Sure, knock me into the front door to open the car door for me. You're certifiable." She shakes her head at him, rolls her eyes and enters the car again. It's insane how he's acting like she needs him on top of his game all the time, when in reality she just wants someone who tries. She doesn't need him to give her the world, but she wants him to want to do that. It's the thought that counts and she didn't expect him to keep running circles around her.

"Did it hurt?" He asks shyly, getting a huff from her.

"Kinda hurt my arm, but I'm fine. I don't need you to always open my door and stuff, babe. Just relax a little. You're going to get us both killed if you keep it up." She couldn't help the smile that curved her lips to the side, one that signified she isn't angry at him at all. She just wants him to be himself around her, because he's enough for her as he is.

"I'll kiss it better." Grayson starts to lean in, lips puckered up but is stopped by Y/N's palm instead of her lips.

"I'll be late!" She whines, making a disgusted face when Grayson licks her palm as revenge.

All the while, Y/N's tapping her fingers on the dashboard, her entire body is leaned forward and stiff, completely betraying her first day nerves.

"You'll do fine, Birdie. Just be yourself." Grayson reassured her, moving his hand to her left knee for a light squeeze in support. He smiles when she glances at him, longing for a kiss from her.

"I don't really do well when I'm myself. I'm not a 'people person'." She puts air quotes around the last bit, frowning deeply. Her frown brings out two vertical lines between her eyebrows, ones still shallow and new to her face.

"You won me over." Grayson points out, moving his index finger up and down her knee cap.

"You don't count because you're as weird as I am." She accidentally blurts out, making Grayson's eyes widen.

"So we're not that different after all!" He cheered, his booming voice both hurting and blessing her ears at the same time. She flinched with the loudness, raising a brow to his statement.

"Oh, we're still fundamentally different. I guess opposites attract, otherwise we wouldn't be in this car right now. Not together, at least." She remarked, placing a hand over the one he kept on her knee. She took it in hers, bringing it to her lips to leave a soft kiss on the back of it. Her pink lipstick stains his skin, but Grayson only presses his lips to stop a happy chortle bubbling in the back of his throat from scaring the softest, most gentle human being he's ever met.

"Oh, look. We're a block away." Y/N mussed, letting go of Grayson's hand reluctantly.

She didn't want to leave him and go in on her own. She's never been good at making friends or with first impressions. Especially not when she's this nervous. Her heart's practically beating out of her chest and her breathing is labored, dragged out and detectable.

"Breathe, Y/N. Just breathe." Grayson comforts her, reminding her to calm down with the same words she used on him twice now. But it worked; not the words, but his voice. It's what alleviated the rush of panic in her body and forced the adrenaline to stop dictating orders that would force her to run in the opposite direction.

The closer they get to the gates, the more people turn around to look at the Porsche. Y/N mentally face palms upon realizing this car, although beautiful, attracts way too much unwanted attention.

Grayson parks, immediately shifting in his seat to take both her hands in his. He can feel them shaking, his heart aching for her. He's aware this isn't easy for her. Her entire life got turned upside down in two day’s time and now she's on this continent, all of her dreams came true but she's lost everything else in the process. He's determined to let her know she has him, that she'll always have him.

"I love you and I know you're scared, but you can do this. You've done a lot more with a lot less effort and I believe in you. Go Lil' Birdie. Go and win them over as you did with me." He offers her a wide smile, giving her the courage she needed.

Grateful to have him near, Y/N leans into him. She kisses his lips, her right hand gently caressing his neck.

"I love you, Grayson Bailey Dolan." With a small smile, she opens the door and stands on her shaky legs. She gives him a quick wave, assuring him she'll be fine and walks into the campus.

A lot of people looked at her, all assessing her and her possible worth. No one actually walked up to her, nor gave her any indication they're friendly. The girls sent her glares, some of them took photos of her and the guys all talked about the car she came in. She felt like a ZOO animal, watched and filmed by everyone and all because Grayson drove her. And he's supposed to pick her up too which only made her more nervous.

Quickly, she rushes to the administration, finding a few forms to fill that she couldn't do online. Feeling a little overwhelmed, she walks to her first class of the day, looking ahead to avoid meeting eyes with people gossiping about her.

This was going to be a long day.

"What happened?" Grayson glances sideways, his eyebrows creased and lips pressed together. Y/N has been nothing but silent since he picked her up and though he saw her wave to someone before getting in and giving him a good smooch, she's barely spoken to him since.

She gave him short answers and polite smiles, ones he didn't buy. Sure, she's been stuffing her face with the gluten free meal he picked up on his way, but he hoped she's be spilling her entire day without him asking.

"Nthng." Her words are jumbled and muffled with food, but he can still understand her. He doesn't want to pester her for answers, but he decided on doing so once they get home. They're not even a foot inside when he drapes an arm around her and pulls her to the living room to talk. 

"Talk to me." He sits on the couch, crossing his legs so the outside of his right ankle is resting on his left knee.

Y/N sits on the other end of the couch, fidgeting with her rings.

"I uh - saw the photos all over the internet...Some people recognized me because they saw your car this morning and I'm officially known as your girlfriend worldwide." Y/N crinkles her nose, releasing a heavy sigh.

"And anyone who talked to me today either wanted to befriend me so they can get close to you guys or to insult me. I made one friend today in total and Jesse helped me out. I'm just a little down because I didn't expect for us to be known so soon." She bites her lower lip, hearing the couch cry under Grayson's shifting weight as he moves closer to her.

"I don't regret us, though. Don't want you to think that. Just - I was kind of caught off guard and then everyone's already formed groups 'cause they met in the dorm and I'm not there so I'm basically going to miss everything all the time. Jesse is the only one living off campus, so we sort of connected fast." She smiles meekly, looking at Grayson's worried face. She runs a knuckle down his left cheek, leaving a peck on it right after.

"Can I do something?" Grayson asks, confusing her.

"What?" She had no clue what he planned, but he let her shower and change clothes. He waited for her to start studying before grabbing his phone and logging into his Snapchat account.

"Grayson?" She gives him a pointed look, furrowing her eyebrows as she took her glasses out of the case. He shushed her, getting a glare in return.

"Just do you while I film my plants. Don't worry." His voice is mellow, too innocent for her to believe him. Regardless, she puts her purple framed - flowery glasses on and opens the rather large book in front of her and a small notebook on her lap. She sits crisscrossed, completely losing herself in her first assignment. She's wearing Grayson's baby blue hoodie and her own black leggings with DT socks on her feet. Her hair is brushed over her right shoulder and down, although she usually has it up in a bun. Even so, Grayson's smitten with her natural state and no matter how badly he wishes he could cuddle with her, he knows she needs to study and he needs to go through with his plan.

He points the camera at himself, talking.

"So, here's a plant tour to show off some new flowers I got." He smirks, switching from the front camera to the back one and showing the first one.

"This is Benji", he moves to the next one, "and Barry", slowly filming each of his plants before coming to the last one. He turns the camera to Y/N, slowly zooming in on her flowery glasses.

"And this is Y/N, my favorite flower and girlfriend." He quickly switches the camera to the front one again, showing his beaming smile and cutting the video off when Y/N shouts his name upon realization what his plan was.

From that night on, they spent as much time together as humanly possible. Grayson would drive her to and from class as promised, always buying her food to munch on the way home. He uses the time she's busy with school to film with Ethan, tricking her to miss most of the work he told her she could do in the process. He could see she's buried in assignments and books, not wanting to add onto her stress. When she did help them, it was extremely fun for both Ethan and Grayson. She's always making them laugh and her ideas are more than helpful.

Living together became an adventure on its own. Ethan and Y/N got along quite well, but teased each other mercilessly. He's a night owl which definitely served well for bonding with Y/N who more often than not either couldn't fall asleep or had to study all night. She'd lull Grayson to sleep and study in the kitchen, taking small breaks to play Fortnite with Ethan. There were a few hiccups here and there though, like when Ethan walked in on her changing and she threw a shoe at his head, hitting the mark.

"Grayson, I need the", his eyes widen as Y/N screams, her reflex reaction being to throw a shoe at Ethan, "OWH, Y/N!"

Or the fact that they weren't intimate, but both yearned for it. Grayson felt like his head would explode and Y/N was slowly losing her inner battle too. She told him she always wanted to wait for marriage, because it's the way she's been raised and her culture is different than his as are her morals. She's grown in an environment that's a stark contrast to the one he grew up in and he understood her beliefs aren't the same. But that didn't mean his understanding helped them relieve the sexual tension growing between them. Y/N would often glare at him when his shirt is off and called him a 'temptress' and he called her his 'favorite sin'.

"It's not that I don't want to have sex with you, because trust me I REALLY DO. Like, really, really do. I'd just like to at least try and uphold the promises I made to myself. I fear I'd lose myself if I break this vow I've taken."  She sighed, leaning her forehead on his shoulder.

"Okay then. Until we're married. I'm going to die, but okay." Grayson agreed, fully invested in helping her keep that promise. He practically salivated at every inch of skin she showed and they certainly came close to abolishing their promises more than once, but Grayson never went beyond what she asked for. Whenever they got too hot and heavy and clothes got lost on the floor, Grayson would often be the one to stop it from advancing.

"You just can't keep your hands to yourself, huh?" He whispered in her ear, his lips swollen from their make out session. He adjusted his pants to make room for his bulge, one that he would take care of later.

"I can, but why the hell would I want to?" Y/N breathed and Grayson threw his head back with a growl erupting in his chest.

"I'M GOING TO DIE!"  He shouts dramatically, briskly toppling over Y/N and pinning her under his body, burying his face in her neck to suck a small mark right behind her right ear.

"Now, if you'll excuse me I will lock myself in the bathroom and take a long shower." He left Y/N to deal with her own hormones in the room, knowing he left a mark to show anyone who dares to flirt with his girl that she's taken.

On the other hand, there were issues whenever his friends came over. Bryant basically comes around twice a day to exercise and they get along great, but James and Emma were frequent too.

Emma made her visibly uncomfortable because Emma's an extrovert and one that's unafraid to be loud and say the most inappropriate things at the worst of times, while Y/N's the quiet, painfully polite type and so she shies away from her company though she'd never admit it.

But her biggest issue is James and his constant need to touch or flirt with Grayson which unnerved her. Y/N never knew she's the jealous type nor that she's possessive until she saw James fling his arms around Grayson and call him his future husband.

"Ahh! My future husband everyone!" James exclaimed, making Y/N fume. It's not the first advance he made on her man, which only made her blood boil. She trusts her Grayson, so that's not the issue here. For unknown reasons, she does something she didn't expect.

She pushes into the frame, detaching James from Grayson with a fake smile and attaching herself to him. She kisses him with all her might, reminding him he's hers and everyone else around them as well. Grayson's holding her close, she's running her fingers through his hair and pulling at the ends. Grayson moans into the kiss, making James gag in disgust and Y/N smile, cutting their show of affection short.

"Missed you, dragi (dear)." She smiles, wiping her lipstick off his mouth with her thumb, making it worse when it smudges. But her smile only widens and she winks at him, saying "Perfect" before going to their room to study.

After that, she made it a habit to mark her territory just as Grayson did. They trusted each other completely, but there's something in every person that wants others to just keep their hands away from their partners. Grayson also had a habit of always touching Y/N, making sure his hand is at least brushing her skin, which she mimicked subconsciously.

Despite it all, they made their own traditions. Grayson took her hiking every Sunday and Saturday was reserved for the beach per Y/N's insistence. Another thing she insisted on was Ethan tagging along on their little dates because she didn't like him being alone in the house.

She understood their twin connection, supporting it all the time and as much as possible. She needed them to stay close and she didn't want Ethan to feel left out. He always showed gratitude and quickly adapted to her presence around the house. He loved her cooking and humor, especially how she never got offended by his sarcastic remarks. Instead, she threw one back at him and they were usually so savage he started to take notes.

Y/N was happy in school, passing her exams and always hanging out with Jesse during breaks. So far, Grayson knew only a couple of things about her friend.

1. Jesse is a blonde.

2. Jesse loves coffee.

3. Jesse is funny and always makes her laugh.

4. Jesse lives close by.

5. Jesse always offers her a ride.

Y/N always talked about Jesse, but Grayson has yet to meet this friend of hers. He's honestly just happy she found someone she relates to and someone that has her back. Especially when he started filming more videos and his time with her became limited.

That something he'll regret later on.

However, their issues first started when Grayson found Y/N's many pills and his brain instantly went to the worst possible thing he could imagine: that she's taking drugs to study. But that wasn't the case.

"What are they for?!" He throws the packs of pills on the table in front of Y/N and Ethan, red in the face but inside he's shaking. He's terrified of her being hooked on something, of losing her to drugs and he blames himself for not noticing it sooner.

"Sit down and stop yelling first." Y/N says firmly, asserting her dominance as she knows Grayson will listen. She knows he'll listen because he's learned everything there is to know about her and he knows she won't have a screaming match, but a real conversation because nothing gets solved with people screaming on both ends. For that to happen, he needs to calm his explosive nature down and let her talk or he won't get any explanations that he's desperate for.

So, he does as she asked and sits across from her and beside Ethan. He pinches the bridge of his nose and takes a slow, deep breath to clear his mind and let go of the anger fueled by his fears. When he raises his eyes and looks into her captivating orbs, he's calmer and still nowhere close to peaceful.

"Those are for health reasons." She begins, swallowing thickly. Grayson can tell she's rather uncomfortable talking about this, but he needs to know.

"The green packs are for my thyroid because I have Hashimoto's disease. It's an autoimmune disorder and it helps me replace hormones the antibodies destroy." She sees both Grayson and Ethan's face change, their demeanor with it as well. Grayson's adjusting his blue bracelet and Ethan's running a hand through his hair to stop himself from freaking out.

"The white satchels help me because I have polycystic ovaries or better known as PCOS." She licks her lips, pointing to a yellow pack.

"Those help my insulin levels, because I have an insulin resistance." Her eyes flicker between the brothers who are staring at the bag of pills she carries around and drinks on daily bases in pain. They're in pain for her. They ache for her. She's about their age and she's struggling with so much. But she wasn't done.

"The big white ones are painkillers for days I can't handle the pain. The small green ones are for insomnia if I get too overwhelmed and I've never gotten on antidepressant or anxiolytics because my therapist knows my moods swings and anxiety, even occasional panic attacks happen because of my hormones. Most of these issues and others that I have are untreatable and a result of a pituitary tumor that's growing inside my head but it's currently too small to cause damage or for surgery to be necessary." She folds her hands in front of her, awaiting their reaction. It's as if she tortured them with the information they seeked. They're hunched over, frowning deeply and avoiding eye contact with her.

It's as she feared; they'll treat her differently.

"I'm fine. Don't go and treat me like I'm made of glass. I fight all this and have been fighting it since fourth grade and I'm not about to give up." She says sternly, reaching out to grab a hand from each twin. They look up, eyes glossed over with tears they want to shed. She grew on them both, worming her way into their hearts and after the loss they suffered, even the possibility of losing her is insufferable.

"You're in pain?!" Grayson's voice cracks and she looks up to the ceiling, mulling over what she could tell them and not cause panic.

"Yes." But she chooses the truth.

"Mostly my joints and muscles and it's tolerable. I have a high pain tolerance naturally, so unless you see me popping the big white pills, I'm fine. It's nothing new and I don't want you to stress about it." She emphasizes her claim about being well, but it doesn't help the boys. It's not something they take as lightly as she does.

"When you're not feeling well, you'll tell me. Am I clear?" Grayson tries to sound stern and puts on a brave face for her because he knows she'd hate to be looked at differently. It would destroy her. That didn't mean he'd forget all about this.

"Okay." She smiles at her man, grateful for having someone so supportive in her life. She's been missing him more and more lately, mostly because all their time together is packed in him driving her around and sleeping in the same bed. She's aware he's filming a lot of collaborative videos, but it doesn't settle the ache in her heart whenever he's away for too long.

Grayson's attempt of being the same around her weren't quite successful, but he tried and it's all she ever wanted from him. She wants him to want to be who she needs him to be, to try and she loves him for it. She loves all of him, all the time. She loves him even when he's driving her crazy with questions about how she feels or him spontaneously rubbing her joints or massaging her muscles. She loves him even when he reminds her to take her pills or pushes her to get out of bed when it's the last thing she needs. She simply loves him in the most complicated way she's ever known.

She always thought Grayson is the most attractive person she's ever met. Unlike most people, she never saw his tall form and bulky built as the reason why, although it certainly served as an added bonus. No, what convinced Y/N about Grayson's beauty was something entirely different. It's in the way his forehead wrinkles and eyebrows furrow when she mutters something in her native tongue and he's utterly confused, not understanding a word she's saying, but still puts an arm around her in case she's upset and he just doesn't know it. It's in the way his seemingly intimidating gaze lights up like a Christmas tree whenever she walks into the room and he becomes the cuddliest person in the world. It's in the way he quirks his eyebrow when he's trying to flirt and in the way he smirks when he's trying to be suggestive and cute. It's in the way he drags the tip of his tongue over his bottom lip when he wants to kiss her so badly it hurts and it's in the way he smiles so widely when she tells him she loves him that she's sure she'll never see such a genuine human emotion in another human being. That's where his sex-appeal comes from in her eyes and she's memorized his face, every line and crevice, every imperfection she deemed perfection to last her eternity.

"You're staring." He opens one eye, feeling her gaze upon him. Their Sunday hike turned chaotic when a storm rolled in, so they stayed in and spent the day cuddling. To be honest, they both needed that. They needed to feel close and to feel each other's bodies as they needed air to breathe. Because for Grayson, Y/N is the air he breaths.

"I'm just thinking." She replies quietly, a graceful ghost of a smile dancing on her lips as if she's a little confused, but also completely sure of something that's a mystery to Grayson.

"About?" He wondered, running his fingertips across her upper arm and silently celebrating that she still gets chills from his touch.

"Us. You." She pauses. "Mostly you."

Grayson's face warms as she creeps closer and rests her arms on his shoulders. He always liked when she touched him, not in a sexual manor, just feeling her skin on his. He longed for it; he craved it. The way her nimble hands caress his face, or her gentle eyes met his own. Her beauty is incredible; his heart loving her more and more by the second until he's sure there's no room left for his growing heart inside his chest. He's always surprised by the amount of love he feels for her, the clear adoration she evokes in him. Whenever he thinks there's no way his love could grow, he's proven wrong. And that's his favorite thing about her; she showed him what endless amounts of love means.

"Falling in love with you feels like home. When you smile at me I feel invisible hands wrapping around me making me feel safe. When your eyes are locked on mine, it's like I can see galaxies in them. Having you in my life makes me feel like everything's possible in this world, like I can conquer anything. I don't regret meeting you and I know you might be my first but what I really wish in life is for you to be my last." She spills her heart open, bringing tears to Grayson's eyes.

"Wow, my allergies are really bad today." He uttered, wiping his tired eyes.

"Kako te samo volim, budalice. (If you only knew how much I love you, silly.)" Her words halt Grayson's movements and he narrows his eyes at her.

"No fair. What did you say?!" He demands a translation, but she just shakes her head and connects their lips swiftly.

"Nope. Learn the language or suffer in the dark." Y/N brushes her nose against his once more before returning in her original position, her head on his chest and eyes closed. He groans, but doesn't object. In that moment, he swore he'd try and learn her native tongue and at least be able to say something in it by her birthday which was only a few months away. It would be a great gift to go with what he already got her, solidifying his best boyfriend of the year status.

"You said Jesse can pick you up tomorrow?" Grayson remembers, making sure Y/N's taken care of for the morning. She nods in reply, nuzzling into him.

It's the first time he'll miss taking her to class which felt like a slap to the face, but his obligations are expanding faster than he expected and to the extent he didn't anticipate. With the gym for children with special needs being made and them producing five music videos in the next two months, making their own videos and going back to New Jersey to help their mother with the maintenance of their property as they promised...well, Grayson's got himself stretched thin and the time he missed spending with Y/N the past few weeks would be reduced greatly.

He's sure their relationship is strong enough to survive it, all of it. They still argue and their differences are as clear as day most of the time, but they always find a way around them. Their communication is perfect as their honesty is and that's why they work so well. When Grayson needs advice, Y/N's the one to stop him from doing something stupid or reckless. She points him in the right direction and never judges him nor Ethan for their lack of common sense as he likes to call it. She's his brain and it's why their videos have been amazing lately. He even planned a video with her in it after her birthday, but he'll have to butter her up for it.

While Y/N serves as Grayson's common sense, his brain, he's her heart. He helps her adjust to new people and new places, introducing her to his friends and world slowly. He softens her up, helping her to be open to adventure and chaos because that's what he and Ethan are. They're chaos and no amount of planning helps change that. So yes, Grayson is helping her let go of control and just learn to go where the current takes her. He makes her appreciate the little things and makes her laugh. He has her so enthralled, but it doesn't mean she's blind to his faults.

She hates how easily he throws his money around to buy the stupidest things simply to own them. She hates how he refuses to let her buy things on her own and in a way takes away bits and pieces of her pride. She hates how often he gets tattoos and though she'd never admit it, she doesn't like half of them. She hates and loves how casual he is about life. She hates and loves how he uses his charm to get out of things he shouldn't be able to get out of. She loves how he wants to save the world and never stops thinking of ideas to help people. She loves how he radiates positivity, even when he's feeling anything but. She loves how caring he is, truly caring in his core and how he never lets her clam up, making sure she's well.

In conclusion, she both loves and hates him and she would never change it.

I'm in love with a tattooed avocabo loving brand whore, she thought with a faint smile as she fell asleep in his arms.

When she woke up, Y/N was hazy and tired. She rubbed the sleep out her eyes, squinting to see how she's supposed to remove this Grayson-made cage off her body. His soft snores make her giggle lowly. While she could barely sleep with Mr. Snorelax at first, she now found the sounds soothing. They assured her he's there, that he's breathing and she was safe in his arms. Using both her hands to lift the arm he used to trap her in his embrace, Y/N slid from under it and placed her pillow in her stead. She put her clothes on in the bathroom, grabbed her prepacked bag and tiptoed to the bed. Leaning in, she kissed his left temple and caressed his hair gingerly. It's always hard saying goodbye to him, even for a short while.

Leaving the room, she goes for the fridge to grab the fruit salad Grayson always prepares the night before. She finds it in the bottom left corner of the fridge, furrowing her eyebrows once she finds a note on top of the container.

To keep my Lil' Birdie strong and healthy. You're my inspiration as I am yours. I love you.

Y/N feels like her entire body is physically melting with the note he left her. It's not unusual for Grayson to compliment her or get her flowers or her favorite food. He makes sure she takes enough water and leaves the room when she's studying. He reminds her to take her pills and he's the one who lets her vent for hours on end if that's what she needs. Then there are his surprise dates and gestures that leave her speechless. He always has something sweet waiting for her and she loved that side of him. She loved that he's a romantic, a hopeless one at that.

Putting the note in her wallet and the container in her bag, she walked out the front door and just as she's about to lock up a loud noise scares her. She turns around to find her friend Jesse in a car, pressing the horn. Waving her arms vividly, she runs to the car and hops in, stopping the noise.

"Drive, you maniac!" She orders, taking a cup of tea Jesse offers her. She loved being with Jesse, finding a sympathetic ear to listen to her problems and a great study buddy. Jesse always had great insight and offered advice a licensed therapist would. Jesse never judged her for being an international student, nor her connection to the twins. Jesse proved to be an amazing friend and one that made her feel good about herself. Gossip girls stayed away from them and she wasn't an outcast anymore. Though the situation with her being Grayson's girlfriend never stopped on the internet, she found it to be quiet in Jesse's company. There was no hate or jealousy, just friendship.

The entire day passed with Grayson not seeing Y/N. It's the first time he woke up and she wasn't there, but he didn't hold it against her. It's only natural for couples to do things on their own, even if some of those things used to be their special thing.

He groans, yelling CUT for the fifth time in a row. For some reason, the shoot was a disaster the entire day. People ran late, equipment broke and it was clear he'd probably stay and shoot all through the night.

To: Lil' Birdie

I'm sorry, babe, but I'll have to stay here over night. Do u need me for anything?

Y/N frowned upon reading his text, feeling tears well up in her eyes. Yes, they've grown codependent and clingy with each other because Grayson had tears prick at his eyes while typing the text too. It's going to be their first night away from each other since she moved to L.A. and she didn't want to be alone.

To: Gray-bear

Don't worry about me. I'll probably stay over at Jesse's. Love you, babe. You're doing great!

Grayson smiles at her text, but it doesn't lift the weight and pressure on his chest for not seeing her today. He needs her like the air he breaths, like his heart needs blood to beat and he realizes that's turning toxic now. It's not toxic when they're together, but it's a waste dump when they're away from each other. They need to have some space and time alone, or so he tells himself.

To: Lil' Birdie

Love u 2, Sunshine. Have fun xx

They lock their phones and lean back in their seats, feeling the same disruption in their mood despite being on opposite sides of the same city. They feel the same disruption in their mood precisely because they're on opposite sides of the same city.

Y/N couldn't sleep that night. Not without his soft snores and steel tight cuddles. She's grown accustomed to his presence and now she's lost it so abruptly. The ache of longing to be with him echoed through the very marrow of her bones. It was a chill wind trapped in the chambers of her heart.

Unfortunately, this occurrence that was supposed to be an isolated incident ended up becoming a new tradition. More often than not, Y/N would wake up to Grayson wrapped around her like she's his lifeline, but she doesn't know when he came back that night. He'd wake without her there, knowing she's with Jesse. They don't see each other during the day and Grayson often sends that dreaded 'pulling an all-nighter' text that breaks her heart. Half the time, she just stays with Jesse, using the time with a friend to push the anxiety creeping up on her.

It's no longer exam anxiety, but relationship anxiety.

Y/N is painfully aware her extremely tall, dark and handsome boyfriend is spending all his time with gorgeous models and artists now instead of being with her. She barely sees him anymore and even their texts and cute love notes have gone way down. The sane part of her mind is accepting and understanding, because that is his job and he can't just drop everything for her on demand. It tells her he's in love with her and he'd never hurt her. It assures her he's loyal and she trusts him. But the other part of her brain, that nagging part she can't shut down is screaming at her. It's screaming he's sex deprived because of her, that the models around him will surely flirt with him and she didn't know if he would resist them or let it happen. She didn't know if he even missed her anymore, because it's been almost a month and they spend twenty hours a week together and most of that time is while they're asleep.

And she knows she's overreacting and she should listen to sanity, but it's hard. It's hard because they've barely talked for a whole month and when communication is sparse, the relationship suffers greatly. Trust starts to dwindle and those opposites come back up and bite them in the ass. There's no time to work around them anymore, nor to talk things through. Hell, even their weekends have fallen victim to his obligations and it's eating her up alive.

She never knew that missing someone could take over every fiber of your being and wring you out like a wet sponge every day. It is a torment she was unprepared for. It's worse than it was when she had to leave him behind. It felt worse because she had some finality to their farewell then, giving her time to accept it as an appropriate goodbye. She didn't know what it means to have him, truly have him like she does now.

Another month passes and this one is harder than the last one. Grayson and Ethan had left her alone in the house, flying to New Jersey to help their mum and for a collaboration with Doctor Mike, the only other YouTuber she liked. It was her idea to begin with and she wanted to go with them, but they left a week before spring break and she was buried in exams.

And now, her birthday is twenty hours away, Grayson's still in New York and she hadn't heard from him in two days. All she got was a measly snap of a view and 'Thinkin' about u' written on it. No proclamations of love, not even a photo of his face. It no longer saddened her, but angered her as well.

She wipes the steam from the mirror, feeling a little better after crying her heart out in the shower. Staring at her reflection in the bathroom mirror, she's shocked. She looks okay, normal even. Inside, the ache for him gnaws at the very heart that still beats endlessly for him. She pulls her lips into a smile, and lets out a frightened sob when she realized that anyone could easily mistake this lackluster grin for real happiness. It amazes her to think how she reverberated to the cold persona she used to be before he softened her. She's brilliant in pretending to be okay, but she's desperate for someone to notice that she's not.

Jesse noticed, but she didn't want Jesse to fix her. She didn't want Jesse to love her or show her how to keep on going. She's clinging to the ruin of her broken heart.

From: Gray - bear

I'll be home for your birthday. Promise. Be ready at 5, babe xx

She waited for him to come home that day as he promised. That slight spring in her step returned as she went around the house and fixed it for the boys to come back to a clean place. She felt like a stranger in the house without Grayson and Ethan, especially when the quiet settled in and left her alone with her thoughts. That's why she spent most of her time at Jesse's. She couldn't handle the silence.

But now, she had hope and something to look forward to. Spring break finally started and she had time and means to spend it all with her boyfriend. She tried to push away the thoughts of her ever doubting him out her mind and just enjoy the day.

Her family called and she talked to them for a full hour, and another half an hour with her best friend from back home who got married just before Y/N left. She's pregnant now and Y/N feels like she's missing so many important events back home, making her sadder than she already is.

She went into the closet and picked out her favorite green dress with the lacy top and flowy skirt that spread from just above her love-handles and down to her knees. The back is open and the sleeves are covering only the upper portion of her shoulders. Beads shaped like flower petals beautify the part just above the skirt and below her bust. She ties a bow at the back and lets her hair loose. Curling it, she watches the curls bounce to her mid back, showing some skin. She took some time to truly put on her make-up, deciding to go for the wow factor James often told her would look good on her. It took a longer time than she anticipated, but her make-up was acceptable and actually accentuated her features well.

Proud, Y/N grabs her phone to check the time only to frown when she sees Grayson's twenty minutes late. She texts him, plopping down on their bed.

And she waits, and waits and waits but with no reply. She can see photos of him in LAX surface on twitter, fans tagging her too.

Shaking her head with a bitter chuckle escaping her lips, Y/N calls up Jesse to pick her up. She was done waiting for Grayson while her make up melts and her curls turn straight again. She needed to vent, to get the anger out or she'd explode.

Hearing the familiar horn ten minutes later, Y/N rushes to the door with an overnight bag in tow. She wanted to be with him for so long and now she couldn't bear the thought of him touching her. She couldn't believe how stupid she felt for believing he'd actually show up for her on her birthday. Sure, she understood and supported his absence for over a month now, but it piled on and on and even the most understanding person would burst by now. He had been a boyfriend in name only and she was tired of being with someone and still not having him with her.

All the things she loves about him annoyed her now. She hated how he folded their clothes when it was his turn to do the laundry and she hated the way he made the bed. He never cleaned his shower, she did and he never put the books she gave him for reading back on the shelf. While he seems as the clean twin, he's the messy one who tries not to be. She's not. She keeps things clean and she likes them in certain places around the house and when it's all changed up, it unnerves her.

So, yes. She needed a night to vent to her best friend who Grayson never bothered to meet despite her inviting him along constantly. She met all his friends and hung with them even when she didn't really like them or the way they treated her boyfriend. He never did the same for her and she only had one person to introduce him to.

Blinded by anger, she opens the door and to her surprise she finds Grayson down the driveway. He's talking to Jesse, turning to the house in slow motion and with a visibly disheveled appearance.

Y/N walks down, waving to Jesse. Grayson doesn't lean in like he used to do on instinct, as he's so used to Y/N pecking his lips whenever she walked by. Instead, he narrows his eyes and folds his arms across his broad chest. His nostrils flare and jaw clenches and Y/N can tell he's pissed.

"You're leaving with Jesse instead of spending your birthday with me?" He asks through gritted teeth, his jaw clenching so hard Y/N wonders how all his teeth are still intact.

"Oh, nice to see you too boyfriend who doesn't even answer his phone when I call anymore." She retorts, mimicking his position.

"Don't reflect my questions. You're leaving with your friend who is a GUY and I only find this out now?! You've been spending all your time with a guy, sleeping at his place and you didn't think that was important information to share?!" Grayson shouts, his booming voice forcing Y/N to step back and visibly flinch. He softens immediately, but the anger he feels is still burning in his eyes.

"The only reason you don't know he's a guy is because you never bothered to meet him. Oh, yeah, another thing, I waited for you for four hours! Hell, for two months if we're being real now!" She whisper shouts, refusing to raise her voice enough for the neighbors to hear.

Grayson chuckles dryly, shaking his head at her.

"You're serious now? I'm here and I want to spend time with you because yeah, I missed you! I just want you and you're basically cheating on me!" Grayson doesn't yell as loud as he did the first time around, but his voice is loud and filled with anger Y/N never saw in him before and she doesn't like it.

Not one bit.

"Whoa! We're just friends, man. Let up on her." Jesse gets out of the car, stepping between them to diffuse the situation. Y/N puts a hand on his shoulder and Grayson's eyes focus on it, only fueling the fire.

"She's my girl and I have every right to get answers from her." Grayson get in Jesse's face and Y/N's heart sinks. She's genuinely fearful of what's happening, afraid of Grayson's reaction. She's used to Grayson being loud, but always in a playful manor. Never like this.

"Jesse, you should go." She talks in a small, but calm voice which only alerts Jesse that he should stay.

"I'm not leaving you with this hothead." He tells her, keeping his place between them to make sure Grayson can't touch her.

"I won't hurt her." Grayson's face falls, realizing what Jesse implied. His eyes flicker to Y/N and her eyes are filled with unshed tears and something he never thought he'd invoke in her; fear.

"Baby... Y/N, you know I'd never. I'm just...frustrated and I don't understand why you never told me about him and I missed you. I MISS you so much it hurts. Please, baby, you gotta believe me." Grayson's voice cracks several times in his plea for Y/N's understanding and forgiveness.

His eyes meet hers, a silent conversation exchanging between them.

"Jesse, go. He won't hurt me." She tells him bleakly, not breaking eye contact with Grayson until Jesse turns to her in shock.

"How sure are you?" He asks, trusting her judgement. If Y/N says something, he trusts her on it unconditionally.

"Absolutely certain." Her voice is steady, no doubt in it which makes Jesse shake his head in response.

"Then you should know something." Jesse leans in, preparing himself to tell her the truth of things he didn't piece together until this night. He has witnessed one of Grayson's indiscretions and he wasn't going to keep his secret. He didn't owe him anything, but now that he's certain this man is the same one he saw, he knew he owed it to Y/N. She should know the truth.

"Your wonderful boyfriend here is the one who messed with your dorm room. He cancelled it for you." Jesse wasn't aware of it then, or maybe he was, but he opened a Pandora box when he spilled a secret Grayson was most ashamed of.

Y/N's stares blankly at Jesse, slowly moving her gaze to Grayson as her eyes narrow and her gaze turns into a glare.

"Jesse, go." She orders, stopping him before he objects. "GO."  And he does, leaving an active volcano in his wake.

Y/N turns on her heel, walking into the house briskly and without looking back. It takes a few moments before Grayson's capable of walking after her, knowing he has no defenses. He screwed up and he wouldn't blame her if she hated him.

He finds her pacing in the living room, gnawing on her lower lip and scratching her chin with her right hand. Her heels are kicked to the couch and her steps are quiet, but quick.

"I had no right." Grayson faltered. He had no words to explain his actions and definitely not ones to excuse his behavior from earlier. He should have trusted her as she trust him. He allowed the devil on his shoulder to win and now he has to suffer the consequences of all the devil's wins.

"No, you didn't...Do you even", she pauses, closing her eyes with her palm turned to him hanging in the air.

"Do you even know how it made me feel? You took my choice, my own place I got on my own merit and not because I'm with you! You took what I spent a month working to get and worst of all, you didn't tell me!" She lets out a bitter laugh, one that is followed with a shake of her head.

"You manipulated me into staying here, into something you knew I wouldn't take as my first choice! You knew I wanted to be independent and that I can't afford something other than the dorm. God, Grayson, do you even realize what you did?! How you've hurt me? Not just with that, but the mistrust?! You do realize that I wasn't completely happy with you being around all those models or about your fans always being inappropriate with you?! But I trusted you, even when my entire brain turned on me!" Her voice is hoarse already, laced with anger and pain he had only heard in the elevator on that fated day they met. The same day their love began and bloomed until Grayson burned it to the ground.

"I'm sorry." He falls to his knees.

"Please, forgive me. Please." He tugs at her dress, but she steps back.

"You! Ugh!" She's flushed, her hands made into fists and shaking by her sides. She's so angry at him that she'd rather claw at her skin than let him touch her. But she also wants his touch. It's like a drug, you both hate and crave it and eventually, she caves into her addiction.

She takes his hands and takes him to the bedroom, tears spilling from her eyes now as she takes her dress off while Grayson sits at the foot of the bed, unsure if he should leave or stay.

"I can sleep on the couch if you want me to." He offers, defeated and broken on the outside as he is on the inside.

"No. Just...hold me for tonight."

So he does. He holds her close, her back flush against his chest as he listens to her breathe. He missed the sound dearly.

Grayson doesn't even know what happened outside or who he was in that moment. He's never been that kind of a guy and worst of all, he scared the love of his life. He doesn't dare kiss her, afraid she'll change her mind and push him away.

It's just that the time they spent together decreased and when he started seeing Y/N's photos with some guy on social media and several of them at the time he asked her who she's with and she told him she's with Jesse. He assumed she lied to him, that she wanted to play him like he'd been played before. It shattered him.

So, yes, he's been angry. He has ignored Y/N and he tried to justify it in his mind, distancing himself from her while needing her the most. He promised himself he'd ask her about it and accept whatever explanation she gives him. But when he found Jesse in the driveway, his mind went to the worst possible outcome.

When morning comes, he'll face his punishment. He'll take whatever she throws at him, but for this night he'll just hold her. He can feel her sobs and his own follow. He'll just hold her while he still can. Until they cry themselves an ocean and tire out. And he did.

She pulls the pillow closer to her chest, gnawing on her bottom lip. Grayson doesn't even look up, choosing to stare at his fidgety fingers in his lap instead. Neither know how to verbalize what they feel, both feeling suffocated and troubled by everything.

"Maybe we were wrong." Y/N says quietly, taking a few short breaths in order to stop a choked sob from escaping her lips. Grayson looks up with furrowed eyebrows, torn about his own feelings and now the words coming from her mouth.

"Maybe we're just too different to make this work." She finished her initial statement, resting her chin on the purple pillow in her grasp to avoid Grayson's gaze.

Silence settles, finding a way to crack their hearts and the sound of their broken hearts shattering on the ground is almost deafening for Y/N to take. Instead of remaining quiet as Grayson is, she continues to speak in hopes of him talking her out of this. She wants him to be the dreamer she met, the same guy who wouldn't let her walk away from everything they've built without a fight. But he doesn't seem to be that guy anymore. He doesn't seem to be her Grayson.

"Opposites attract on paper, but how often do those stories have a happy ending? Were we wrong from the start?"

"No. We weren't. I messed up. I'm not worthy of you and I always knew that. If you want to do it - end this and you really don't love me anymore or you don't see anything worth fighting for, I'll let you go.“ Grayson sniffled, his entire body shaking.

She allowed him to explain how he feels and why he did what he did. He told her everything, even about the foundation he set up for her.

"It's not money I just gave you. Ethan and I both agreed to give you 33% of profits we made off videos you gave us an idea for. That's the money you got. You earned it and you've basically been earning money this entire time. We knew you'd say no to it, so we didn't make a contract or a non-disclosure agreement. It's money made thanks to you and you deserved it. That's the money that so called foundation gave you."

It's all in the open now and her choice, whatever it may be, will be his Constitution. Knowing he didn't just give her the money helped heal parts of her wounded pride, but it was still unnerving. It was difficult to accept he lied to her the entire time or him sabotaging her, much less the lack of trust he displayed. She knows it was the stress getting to him and the distance didn't help. He's been struggling more with his loss lately, changing his usual reactions as the anniversary passed. So she did understand. She just isn't sure if Grayson's state is temporary or he truly changed into this man she didn't recognize last night.

He can see her inner battle unravel and he can hear her breaking heart. He broke them both. It is a cruelty of life that a heart can keep on beating even after it has been broken in two. It can feel as though it is being gripped in an ice-cold vice and ache as if it will implode in your chest, but still the boom-boom continues.

"Do YOU think there's something left to fight for?" She directs her question to him, feeling the dark circles under her eyes as a weight of sorts, begging her to close her eyes.

"I do. I think we had something beautiful and the time we spent apart put a strain on us. Add stress and pictures taken out of context and you'll have yourself a mess. I know I've made mistakes, but I'm human. I never meant to hurt you, only help you. You're so stubborn and proud and I didn't want you to struggle. Not when I have more than enough to support you and your dreams. It wasn't a power play, but a genuine desire to give you a chance to do it all and be happy. I just want you happy and if I'm not your happiness anymore, I'll let you go. No strings attached." Grayson is grasping for straws, still holding onto hope that maybe their differences started to change into similarities. He hoped he rubbed off on her and she'd forgive him like he'd forgive her. He was ready to forgive her for cheating if that was the case, because that's how much he loves her and believes in a future with her.

"Think about it. Don't say anything right now if you're not sure. I'll just go get something quick." Grayson excuses himself and leaves. Y/N follows his disappearing figure with a hollow inside her filling up again. She wants to let him back in because no matter how angry his actions made her, she knows he meant no harm. She understands his motives and she'd probably do something similar for him if the roles were reversed. She wouldn't have manipulated him, but she'd surely work on convincing him to live together so he doesn't have those added costs of living. In some twisted way, what he did for her was genuine and his greatest proclamation of love. One she never wanted him to repeat, but was secretly grateful for.

As for trust, it's still there. Tensions were high and stressed out people often read too much into simple things and misunderstandings aren't uncommon. She would need time to get back to where they were, but she wanted to want to try. He was supportive and patient with her pain and mood swings, so she would be the same for him.

Grayson returned, a box with a bow in hands.

"I bought this for your birthday. At least open it." He's begging for her to do him this last kindness before ruining him for the rest of his life. He'll have to live with the knowledge he destroyed the best thing the universe ever sent his way; his soulmate.

Reluctant at best, Y/N opens the box. Her hand covers her mouth and quivering lips, her eyes looking over something she thought was gone forever.

"I tried to find the original company, but they stopped making them. So, I got a professional to fix it and customize some things." Grayson smiles weekly, satisfied she likes it.

Y/N takes her gift out of the box and gently runs her hand along the purple leather. The jacket Grayson ruined when she got hit by his Bronco; he fixed it and added something it didn't have.

"I thought it was gone. I didn't even ask about it so you wouldn't feel guilty. " She breaths out, finding her heart filling with love for this man who is so hauntingly human, mistakes and all.

"I hoped you wouldn't ask about it while I tried to mend it. Volim te, Y/N. Uvijek i zauvijek. (I love you, Y/N. Always and forever.)"

Y/N’s bottom lip quivers as she hears him speak of love in her native tongue. Though his accent is way off, the fact that he did this for her, that he tried enough to learn anything with his dyslexia meant the world to her.

Speechless, her mind struggling to even form coherent thoughts let alone words, Y/N moves her eyes to the writing on her jacket.

There's a whole message stitched into the inside of it, one proclaiming his love for her.

I keep falling in love with you and each time is harder than the last. Every time the feeling gets deeper, more complete, more bewitching. There isn't a thing I wouldn't do to keep you safe. Don't ever think you have to ask for my affection because you don't, and you never did. The more love I give you the more I have bursting inside of me. Were we ever strangers? I'm not sure we were. That day I first saw you there was something even then. I wonder if there's an element of time that allows us to feel a strong love through time and space, different realities. I remember the day our bond was forged. It was like being let into the warmth after a lifetime of winter. I could never wish to go back to even a day before that. You are the greatest treasure of my life, the one, the only one.

Love, G.B.D.

"I - I can't b-believe you did this for me." She feels her anger dissipate, opening the way to let the reasons why she fell for him back in. It's a long way from forgiveness, but it's a good start.

She wants to fight too. She does. She will.

She folds the jacket and presses it to her chest, holding back tears again.

"I want to fight too. We're real and I think we're worth saving. I promise to stop being so stubborn and let you help me out if you promise to be completely honest with me. No more lies, no more petty arguments and silent treatments. You answer when I call and I'll do the same." She clears her throat.

"You made a mistake, a couple of those. But you're not past saving Grayson. You're still that man I fell in love with. We just have to work out these issues before they pile on like they did now. We'll always have times in life where we're apart and communication is key. Don't freeze me out. Let me in your inner circle as I did with you. You've obviously been hurt like this before. But I won't do that to you. Not ever. No matter how bad things get, okay? Being this open, this emotionally vulnerable is hard enough with one person, so yeah...trust me...you're the only one in my heart and soul. I want to be so confident with you and yet these old insecurities come back for one last jibe...it'll be okay though, it's like winter. It passes eventually, allowing the warm days to return and my faith in you to grow all the more. " She finishes, watching as Grayson's lips part.

"Relationships are work and I'm willing to work on ours. I choose to love you every day and every night, even when I hate you I will love you. I'll choose you over and over again, until my last breath." He takes her hand in his, inwardly screaming when she doesn't move it away. He moves seats, settling by her side and cupping her cheek. He's testing her limits, watching her carefully for signs of distress.

"I want to marry you some day." He hears her sharp intake of breath and cracks a smile, knowing he's going too fast and coming on too strong.

"But only when you're ready. Until then, I will wait patiently and make sure you know I'm all in. Always."

Y/N traces his jawline with the tip of her finger, slowly leaning in until their lips touch and her entire being ignites. She could never give him up, not for anything in this world. Her heart is his as his is hers and there's no way of denying it. Not that she wants to. Ever.

They kiss, letting go of the pain and anger they held onto and forgive each other for their sins to allow healing in.

And in that moment a new understanding is born between these wounded souls. No matter how much you love someone, love is never enough. You have to work on your relationship, develop it in every way possible until it's so strong even death cannot cut the emotional tether the souls have created. Their differences make their road harder, but parting is no longer an option for them. He is her anchor in a storm and she's his guide when the night falls.

Perhaps they aren't so different after all? The very things that put a rift between them are those that keep them together. They fit, like long lost puzzle pieces.

You know, legend has it humans were two headed, four armed and four legged creatures with two sets of organs...two sets of everything but their soul. Zeus feared humans would become too powerful so he used thunder to break a soul in two and bodies part into the same form we know today. He cursed humans to walk the earth in search of their other half, of their soul and we all assume that other part is similar to the one we carry inside.

But what if it's a polar opposite? Pulling onto what soul you have left like a magnet, desperately pushing closer until it's whole again and the world finally makes sense. It can happen anywhere, anytime; whether it's in the middle of a busy street or in the silence of a library, maybe in a rainforest or a desert.

For Y/N and Grayson, it happened on a street, right after he ran her over with his car. And time stood still, allowing their souls to connect and become whole once more after centuries of searching.

All the ups and downs they endured led to that one moment where they, polar opposites, finally found the secret of life: opposites attract.

-----> When a realist dreams (part three)

Tags: @xalayx @heeydolan @accalialionheart @fallinginlove-16 @ourlittleshawnie @ashwarren32

[alj4890]

Love Prompt

(Matt x Addison) with the prompt: unexpected pregnancy requested by @krsnlove

(Matt Rodriguez x Addison Sinclaire)

Masterlist

Tagging my two known Matt x Addison shippers 😉 @krsnlove @hopelessromantic1352

Guess What: Part 1

"What do you think?" Addison asked.

Thomas flipped through her fashion designs for his upcoming movie, Secrets in the Dark. He frowned at some of the dresses for the female lead. "These aren't quite what I pictured the character, Christine, wearing during undercover missions."

Addison sniffed and her eyes filled with tears. "I...I worked really hard on those!" She grabbed a box of tissues off his desk and started to cry. "I did exactly what you asked and you sit there, behind your desk, acting all high and mighty. Well Mr. Know It All, MAKE THESE YOURSELF!" She knocked the portfolio on the floor.

She took off crying and ran to the bathroom.

Holly and Amanda came rushing in. Thomas was stunned by Addison's outburst.

"Thomas, what did you say to her?" Amanda asked.

"Were you arguing?" Holly peeked out the door and could still hear her crying.

"I didn't say anything other than these dress designs weren't what I had pictured!" He stood up and led them to the bathroom.

Addison's whimpers and sniffles could be heard through the door.

Amanda pulled Thomas and Holly back. "Has she possibly had a fight with Matt?" She whispered.

Holly shook her head. "They both can't stop talking about how happy they are together. Ryan told me last night that Matt asked him how soon he thought he could propose."

Amanda's smile and muted squeal caused Thomas to look up for divine intervention. She noticed and playfully shoved him. "Don't be the type of husband where romance has died simply because you married me."

"I did not mean..." His frown grew fierce at her teasing. He pulled her close to his side and kissed her forehead. "I will deal with you later." He growled. "If Matt has not upset her and I didn't say anything I haven't before, what else could upset her?"

Holly took her glasses off and placed the tip in her mouth. Her eyes narrowed in thought. "Maybe her family. She was talking about being pressured to visit the other day."

"You might have been the straw that broke the camel's back." Amanda told Thomas. "If her family has been driving her crazy, she might have a lot of pent up frustration."

Addison opened the door sheepishly. "Sorry Professor. I don't know what came over me."

Thomas reassured her it was fine. She started tearing up again. "I am so sorry. Youre being so nice and I was...a...jerk." She started crying harder.

Holly hugged her and tried to get her to calm down. Amanda urged her to come into the kitchen. Thomas reluctantly followed when Amanda caught him trying to escape. He shoved his hands in his pockets and leaned against the counter as Amanda tried to offer her something to eat or drink.

Addison reached for the snicker doodles. Between tears and soon laughter, Thomas noticed she ate nearly a dozen cookies. His eyebrows raised in astonishment. Amanda's cookies were good but he never knew Addison to eat that many.

She drank the iced tea handed to her and reached for three more cookies. "I don't know what is going on with me lately. I have been crying over everything. Maybe I have PMS. Oops. Sorry Thomas."

His serious expression didn't change. "I have worked with you ladies for years and lived with that one for over a year. Nothing phases me about female hormones."

Amanda tried not to laugh. "Since he is so comfortable discussing this. When are you supposed to start?"

Addison pulled up a calendar and frowned. "I'm late."

Three pairs of eyes stared at her. "How late?" Holly asked.

"Um...two and a half months, I think."

"Two and a half months!" Thomas exclaimed. "How could you not notice that?"

"Well everything has been a whirlwind since Matt and I got together. I've never really been consistent, cycle wise, and I just didn't think about it." Addison said in a rush to defend herself.

Amanda reached over and took her hand. "I understand. Perhaps though, you might want to take a pregnancy test."

Holly volunteered to go get one. Addison said she would go with her. "I need to clear my head." Amanda and Thomas watched them go.

"She's pregnant."

Amanda looked up at him in surprise. "You noticed it too?"

Thomas picked up the cookie jar and held it upside down. Only crumbs fell. "A little hard not to."

Amanda chewed on her bottom lip. "How do you think Matt will react to the news?"

Thomas slipped his arms around her. "Don't worry. Matt cares deeply about Addison. He isn't likely to do anything to hurt her."

_____________________

Addison left her doctor's appointment and stared down at the ultrasound in her hand. She was nearly three months along. "No wonder I've only been able to fit in yoga pants and loose dresses recently." She mumbled.

She sat down on a bench outside the doctor's office and tried to get the nerve up to tell Matt. As she held her cell phone, it lit up. She groaned when she saw who it was.

"Hey Abbey." She tried to sound happy to hear from her sister.

"What's wrong?" Abigail asked.

"Wow, I can't even say hi to my big sister without being called out." Addison said in irritation.

"Sorry! I miss you. I was going to see if you had decided to come for a visit."

Addison realized that Matt wasn't the only one she had to tell. "Yeah, I um might be able to come for a few days. I am currently working on the costumes for another film, so I won't have a lot of free time when we start filming."

Her sister laughed excitedly. "I can't wait to see you. It has been too long between visits. I'll call Adam and let him know. Mom and Dad will be so happy. Oh! You ought to bring Matt so we can all meet him."

Addison covered her face. She couldn't imagine how her older brother and father would react to Matt getting her pregnant on what appeared to be their first night out after admitting they were in love with each other. "I will see if he can come. I need to get back to work. I will call later with a weekend I can come visit."

Once the call was over, she called Matt. Her leg began to shake up and down as she waited on him to answer.

"How did you know I needed to hear your voice?" Matt said when he answered.

Addison smiled at his sweetness. "It's a gift." She took a deep breath. "Listen, um I--"

"Would you like to have dinner together tonight? I've missed not seeing you these past couple of days." Matt interrupted.

"I would love that and had planned on asking you. You beat me to it!" She replied. "I missed you, but I knew I would never finish the designs if I had you all to myself. She teased.

Matt smiled and looked down at the floor, embarressed at how easily her words affected him. "Where would you like to go or would you prefer eating at my place?"

Addison knew she would never be able to tell him she was pregnant out in public. "I would like to eat at your home, if that is okay."

"I would too. As much as I enjoy showing you off, I would like a night of no chance for interruptions." They decided on a time and he told her he loved her.

"I love you too." She brushed the stray tears and looked up to try and stop them. Once she was done with that, she sent a group text to Holly, Amanda, and Thomas. "It's true. Need a lot of 🍪 please OMW."

She laughed at their responses of excitment, promises that everything would be fine, and that cookies were being taken out of the oven as they typed. "I can do this." She said softly.

________________________

Matt kissed her as soon as he opened his door and saw her. She smiled and hugged him. "Did you miss me?"

He kissed her again. "Too much." He stood back to let her in. "I have been trying my hand at cooking. So far, the house has not burned down."

Addison laughed and followed him into the kitchen. She looked around and noticed nothing on the stove or in the oven. "I know I am not the best cook, but don't you need to use those appliances to whip up dinner?"

He chuckled and stepped outside. "Not when you use a grill." He opened the lid and her mouth watered at the smell of kabobs cooking.

"Oh I love you." She moaned.

"I'm going to pretend that was directed to me and not the food you were looking at." He couldn't hardly contain his happiness when she quickly reassured that it was meant for him.

She curled up in a patio chair and watched him turn the kabobs and then check the ears of corn he had in another section. She wondered if she should tell him now or wait until he saw her eat everything he prepared and then whatever she could find in his house for dessert.

Matt noticed her somber expression. He walked over to her and cupped her chin. "Addison? Is something wrong?"

She lowered her eyes and handed him the ultrasound. Matt took it and wondered why she had this. He then saw her name written at the top. He quickly sat down. "This is yours!"

She nodded, tears coming into her eyes. She was very worried his shock would switch to anger or disgust.

Matt began to smile. "This is our baby! Addison! I...this is amazing! When is the next appointment? Can I come with you? What do you need? I..." He swept her into his arms and kissed her.

She held on to him and cried against his shoulder. "I was so scared to tell you."

He sat down with her in his lap and soothed her. "Addison, you know I would never have been anything but happy over this. You knew the one thing I always wanted was a family. Since you are the only one I want that with, this news could not be better."

She laughed softly while pressing a kiss to his jaw. "Matt, you don't have to say things like that."

"Like what?" He kissed her softly.

"Like me being the only one you want to have a family with." She snuggled against him.

He lifted his head and frowned. "Addison, I'm serious. You know I am in love with you and--" He stood up and made her sit down. He quickly took the food off the grill. "Wait here."

Addison watched him jog into the house. She placed a hand over her stomach. "That's your father. He is terribly sweet. I hope you get that from him."

Matt came back out and knelt down in front of her. "I planned on doing this tonight because I couldn't wait."

Addison's blue eyes dropped down to the diamond ring in his hand. "Matt!"

The adoration on his face made her tears start up again. He gently caressed her cheek. "Ryan told me it was too soon, but I couldn't wait. I've loved you for a couple of years now. I already thought you were amazing, but you showed me how perfect you really are when you remained by my side after the accident. So many were ready to give up on me, but you never did. Hope and joy seem to follow you everywhere you go. And now..." He placed his hand over her stomach. "You carry it for me. I never thought the world could possibly be any better simply because you are in it. Now, I see how lucky we are to have another you soon coming to it. My hope is that our baby has your heart. That's all I ask. That and if you will marry me."

Addison nodded and kissed him. She let out a tearful laugh and hugged him. "I love you so much. But I'm afraid I'm going to have to say no to the baby being like me."

Matt's brow drew together in confusion. She looked up into his eyes. "I already wished he or she would be like you."

He shook his head at her sweetness. "So what would you like to do now?"

"Eat dinner." She automatically answered.

He made her a plate and poured a glass of iced tea for her. Matt sat down beside her. "I meant what do you want to do for a wedding. When, where, all those details."

Addison dropped her kabob. "Oh! I forgot. Is there any chance you could go with me to visit my family?"

Matt nodded. "Of course. Sun Valley, right?"

"Yes." Worry clouded her bright blue eyes. "Matt, I'm not sure how they will take the news of our unexpected pregnancy."

He slipped his hand into hers. "It'll be fine. I will be right there with you."

[notorious-fiction]

The Christmas Prince (A Whoever You Want to Read With One-Shot)

        You two had made a deal.

         Shook hands and all, very solemn looks on your faces, promising one another a very simple thing.

         No gift exchanging on Christmas day.

(You'd just been laid off your job and it sucked balls, and he knew money was a bit short on your end and also knew you would never, in a gazillion years accept any money from him, so he started to come up with a bunch of lame ass excuses to make you feel a bit better.)

("It's cliché", he had snorted when you touched the subject "Exchanging Christmas gifts. Ugh. It was meaningful before but now it's just another "especial" date that lost it's core value to boost capitalism. I mean, you can be a crappy boyfriend all year round as long as you buy your girl an extra glittery Hallmark card and a Tiffany Bracelet, right?")

("Right." You had agreed, although not really, because as much as you found sexy as fuck when he used pretty words - core value, damn - you still flipping loved Christmas and looked forward to it all year long.)

        So no gift exchanging it was.

        You'd spend Christmas day with you family and he would spend it with his - you knew how rare it was for him to take some time to see them - but the day before, the 24th, you had him all to your own.

        Just "a casual dinner, the two of us" (his words, not yours) with some "classic Christmas movies, deal with it, loser" (your words, not his) at your place.

        Going out was a real pain nowadays, with the whole paps, fangirls, Snapchatters, etc thing, so to save yourself from the stress (how come he never failed to look like a Goddamn model on those candids whilst you looked like you were about to sneeze? Ugh.), staying in it was.

        In, with no gifts.

        Or at least you thought so, because mid afternoon on December 24th your iPhone seemed to gain a life of its own, all your social media accounts on a frenzy of notifications as, oh well, your famous as fuck of a boyfriend was spotted loading a box the size of a small poney into his car.

("She is so lucky!!!!!!")

("What did he get herrrrrrr i'd be happy just with his dick on box and by the size of it its prob that lol")

("Ugh i hope its a bomb")

(Insert other very sweet comments here.)

        You controlled the urge to text him (going against your über curious personality with all the strenghth your posessed), instead focusing on the fact that you were...

        Fucked.

        Because whilst your boyfriend was on the posession of a very big, flashy box (what you had no idea what was inside, Christ, what the hell was inside of it?!), you were in the posession of...

        "How The Grinch Stole Christmas", "Elf" and "The Polar Express".

(All masterpieces, in your humble opinion.)

        And the phone of the thai take out two blocks from your place.

(Best pad thai and sticky rice ever.)

(Plus it gave tons of free sriracha packets! Yay for free stuff!)

        But seriously, what the fuck were you supposed to give to a human being who seemed to have absolutely everything?!

        It'd be stupid to give him clothes - he got those for free -, you had no idea what his shoesize was (did that make you a horrible girlfriend? oops) and anything else you could think of was undoubtely lame. 

        What if you made him something?

        Okay so you didn't know how to draw or paint or knit or rhyme or write a song or do anything that required a minimum artistic vein slash handicraft talent but you could...

        Try?

        Throwing your body on the couch, your laptop literally on your lap, you sat on your ultimate comfy position - which he had lovingly nicknamed "Cirque Du Soleil's contortionist catching up on reality TV on it's free time" or "how you don't have a back problem is beyond me" (when he said that last one he totally reminded you of your mom) -, typing on the words that were responsible for many delayed papers at Uni and scurries off the house whilst almost tripping on your shoes as you were late as fuck.

        Pinterest dot com.

(A blessing and a curse to womankind, honestly.)

D. I. Y.

(Do it yourself.)

(Although you actually never did.)

        Scrolling down the screen - DIY baking soda shampoo! DIY mosaic tile birdbath using recycled DVD's! DIY Glittery Bath Bombs! - you noticed that all of them seemed to involve stuff everyone apparently had at home except you like glue guns or spray paint or Scrabble tile holders (...seriously) so after five minutes of Pinterest searching, you sighed in defeat.

(Hard effort wasn't your forte, you had to admit.)

        Even friendship bracelets are a hard task to accomplish when you have the skills of a three year old toddler and if you actually purchased a glue gun you could already picture yourself glueing nothing but your own fingers and spending Christmas Day at the ER.

        But you did have glitter glue, and that wasn't so dangerous was it?

        You also had an old, slightly crumpled piece of cardboard and a "DIY Easy Glittery Hallmark card tutorial!" (snort) at your screen, so you decided to give it a go.

        If it came out okay you'd be able to give him as an ironic gift?

("Oh hey, I know you gave me a super awesome/expensive/fancy/cool/thoughtful - insert whatever the hell could be inside that massive box here Christ the curiosity was killing you - but ha-ha-ha remember that snark you made about glittery Hallmark cards?! Instead of giving money to the greedy capitalist men I made one myself, how about that?! Aren't I the Best Girlfriend Ever?!?!?!")

        And if it came out like crap you could, y'know, throw it in the bin...

        ...So of course it came out like crap.

        Because you somehow managed to put more glitter glue on the tip of your fingers than on the goddamn cardboard, more glitter glue on your clothes as you absentmindedly rubbed your hands on it as you tried to think of what the hell you could do to save your "Merry Christmas" masterpiece.

(Trash.) (That was how you could save it, your dignity, your boyfriend's poor eyes and your dignity.)

(By throwing your masterpiece on the garbish.)

(Fuck ironic gifts.)

        Of course that instead of coming up with another idea after the Glittery-DIY-Hallmark-Card fiasco, your procrastinator side spoke louder, and click after click after click you found yourself going deeper and deeper of that pit called Pinterest, until you blazed on a section you'd never dared to venture on before.

        The recipe session.

        There were gooey chocolate chip bars, chocolate fudge brownies, kale and artichokes dip, quinoa fried "rice" (...why would someone all it fried "rice" if it had no rice in it only quinoa, you wondered...) and everything made your mouth water and stomach growl and you deeply wished there was someone who could make it for you.

        Everything sounded too tempting (and too hard and with too many fancy ingredients and kitchen appliances you'd never even heard of) until you found...

"Easy adaptable chocolate chip cookies with ingredients everyone has at home!!!!! Can be made vegan gluten/lactose/nut/anythying free paleo atkins insert random diet you'd never heard of before here"

        Well...

        Following a recipe wouldn't be that hard... Would it?

        Especially when you could sub eggs for oil if you didn't have any or oil for mashed banana or mashed banana for applesauce or applesauce for honey or honey for agave which were all obviously so much alike, right?

        Throwing everything you had into a single bowl - did you mention it was a single bowl recipe? Seriously, it could not get any better, your dishes-washing-hater-side thought - you frowned as you compared your final result to the one on the screen.

        Pinterest's batter: gooey but firm, looked so good you wouldn't mind spooning it raw directly into your mouth.

        Your batter: two year old's diarrhea, you wouldn't want to spoon it raw directly into your mouth not even if they paid you.

        You somehow managed to put little (balls, on Pinterest, blobs, sounded more accurate to your situation) blobs of the batter onto the baking sheet and onto the oven, too busy freaking out slash trying to understand what the hell you did wrong (ooh two american cups of flour? what were american cups? weren't your cups american? why america has to control everything for god's sake?!) to notice the door being unlocked, only realising you had company when you heard an amused chuckle behind you.

        Turning around so quick you almost broke your neck - fouet filled with sticky disgusting batter held in hand in a threatingly way - you found him staring, all long legs and perfect hair and mocking grin and...

        Empty hands?

        Where the hell was the box the size of a toddler he was seen loading into his car?!

        Goddamit, internet!

(And why did you feel a lil' bit disappointed I mean...)

(...you had him, hadn't you?)

(Best Christmas Gift Ever, am I right.)

        "Hi."

        "Hi. Were you..." A cute little frown appeared between his brows, pearly white teeth still on show as he asked "Baking?"

        Getting a bit defensive - why did he have to sound so confused/terrified? - you dropped the fouet on the sink, replying "Yes, why?"

        "Oh, for nothing! I mean, it smells..."

(Awful.)

        "Pretty good."

(Damn, he was a liar.)

        Leaning to check the oven temperature just one more time - I mean, better safe than sorry, you couldn't push your luck (any further) - you ignored your boyfriend's stare (a cute little smirk on his lips because well, he thought it was cute how you hadn't noticed the chocolate batter on your chin or how you wore an apron thrice your size), asking maybe a little too cheery "So, how's your Christmas eve going so far?"

( "...Loading too many big ass boxes onto your car?", you rhymed mentally.)

        "Well, not too good I mean, I only got to see my lovely lady today." He replied with a charming smile, expecting for you to giggle - alright, fine, he knew you weren't one to giggle, or at least give him love eyes.

        You squinted skeptically.

...Okay.

        "Empty handed, I see."

        "Yeah, kinda glad we decided to skip on that Christmas madness. Had to help a mate out with picking up a complete set of one of those fancy Le Creuset cooking things. Said his girlfriend would love it." He added with a scoff, rolling his eyes "I told him that if I gave you anything kitchen related you'd throw it in my head, but seeing you're apparently into cooking now..." He paused, pursing his lips "Should I write it down as a suggestion for your birthday?"

        Her mind went black.

        Kitchen appliances.

        His mate was giving his girlfriend freakin' casseroles and frying pans.

(Oh poor girl.)

(Poor, poor girl.)

(The disappointment when she opened that huge heavy box.)

(Damn.)

        And you had been freaking out the entire day thinking he'd gotten you something big and awesome and you'd look like the awful ungrateful girlfriend.

        Man, that ugly glittery card would look like heaven next yo, y'know... Nothing.

        "If you ever give me a damn casserole pan I shall rip off your little buddy of you, cut it into tiny little pieces, cook them in the freakin' thing and serve you for dinner." You stated, and he replying, giving you a kiss on the forehead  "Aw, see? I know you so well."

        God, you were glad he didn't get you anything.

        Because being with him was the best gift you could've ever asked for.

(Insert vomiting and cringing here.)

(Fuck you never thought you would be THIS gross and disgusting and loving about any human being in your life after your miserable string of awful break-ups.)

(Yet there you were, with your very own prince charming.)

(Yup, that was it, you guys would be watching The Christmas Prince on Netflix.)

        You showed your appreciation by getting on the tips of your toes and pecking him on the lips, the little wrinkle of confusion between his forehead making you want to kiss him even more.

(How was possible for someone to be so cute slash sexy at the same damn time?)

(Seriously.)

(Ugh.)

        But then, maybe you'd been too distracted by his pouty pink lips - no chapstick or anything, you wondered how the hell he managed to get them always so soft and puffy and kissable - to check the oven...

        And the whole room started to smell a bit smokey.

        And look a bit smokey.

        "Fuck, my Pinterest cookies!" You squealed, startling him.

        You were sort of thankful your fire alarm wasn't working so well, because if the firemen showed up because you almost burned your kitchen down, your landlord would have (even more) reasons to hate you.

        "It looks... Edible." Your boyfiend said matter of fact, poking one of your cookies at the tray with the tip of his fingers with brows furrowed.

        They looked like baby alien fetus.

(Edible, in some outer galaxy cultures, probably.)

        "Want to try them?" You knew by the raise of his eyebrow that it was a challenge, a thing you rarely passed.

        Daringly, you got one - dropping it back to the tray because damn they were hot -, trying it again after a few seconds of you two staring at each other with "Who Shall Quit First" eyes.

        Was he going to make you eat them first?

        By the fake tight ass smile he was giving you, he was...

        So with the biggest grin you could muster, you squeaked "Merry Christmas baby! I made these for you! Hope you like them!"

(Or at least don't get food poisoning and die! Please don't get food poisoning and die! I kinda really really really really really like you!)

(And if you die because of me slash my cookies your fans will murder me!)

        With a small gulp, he picked one of the alien fetus cookies, shaking it off so they wouldn't be "too hot and burn his tongue" for about three minutes.

        You kinda knew he was trying to make as many tiny pieces of it fall out so he'd eat as less of a cookie as possible, but you didn't call him out on it because oh well, he was at least going to eat a teeny bit of them.

        And in the end, after a bit of fake awing "Oh, tastes so good babe" and maybe spitting on a napkin when you turned around to throw the dirty dishes on the sink, he did eat your alien fetus cookies.

        What made him the best boyfriend slash Christmas present ever.

        And after drinking maybe a bit too much wine and watching The Christmas Prince, he drunkenly vowed to never ever give you anything cooking related - as the cookies now rested in peace in your trashcan, on top of your ugly ass glittery card -, and that vow would be proved to be a gift that kept on giving.

(I mean, it would give stomach aches and calls to the fire fighters and be a total waste of ingredients, so you were cool with that.)

(And even if he never gave you anything at all, he dealt with your craziness, your PMSing, you overreacting whenever you let your - very expensive - makeup fall onto the floor, never watched Game of Thrones episodes without you and always let you eat the biggest last slice of cheesecake.)

        And if that wasn't much of a proof of real, true love, you had no idea of what the hell it could be.

           And that was the greatest gift of all.

(Cue to cringing due to cheesyness again.)

-------

MERRY CHRISTMAS U GUYSSSSSSSSS!

Hope y’all have a fantastic one and find all you wanted under the tree! ooh and if you liked it pls don’t forget to click on that like button (i’ve been watching too many youtube vids send help)

lots lots of love

Gabe

ps: i’d like to dedicate this to my favorite humans on earth victoria, nina and lari, who are still my friends even after i’ve been through probably 30 different mental breakdowns this year, love you guise so muchhhhhhhh thanks for always encouraging me to write!!! oh and if you haven’t read my stories based on them you can find them all here 

[ashleighxx]

25daysofKlaroline|Day12|College

SOO!!! This was written day for day16 in my planner and then Abby corrected me by saying it was day12...but it was going to be late either way so oops! And also thank you @3tinkgemini for helping me out, as always! You’re AMAZING!

PART ONE HERE!!! 

Part 2 (One gets drunk and confesses all over the phone, unaware that said person on the other end was actually outside, ready to confess their love.)

Caroline paced back and forth her dorm room, a bottle of champagne dangling in one hand, her mobile in the other.

Elena was over Damons and Bonnie hiding out in the witch's house looking for a way for her to be relieved of the pain that came with being the anchor to the other side. They were all glad she wasn’t dead anymore, but the thought of her friend in constant pain as she feels each supernatural death as they pass over was horrendous. She had asked Enzo to search for witches and see if they knew anything, while Bonnie dedicated her out of class hours to finding a cure for herself. Caroline usually spent her weekends with her, had taught herself ancient languages to help further her research, but the three girls had argued the night before.

Caroline suggested branching out and asking for some Original help, they were the most powerful and eldest to roam the world after all, and with a newly revived Kol, who knew immense knowledge of witches and Silas and Qetsiyah, she thought they may be able to help. That then resulted into the conversation that Caroline had still been in contact with Klaus after their tryst, when she told them it was a one time thing. Elena had totally freaked out about everything, made it all about her and how Caroline had supposedly betrayed their friendship and stormed out of the dorm room. Bonnie seemed more tuned to the idea of asking for help, but she failed to hide her disgust that Caroline saw Klaus different to they do.

Saw him as more.

It had been a month since she last saw the hybrid and asked him to stay. He explained about the witch situation he had to deal with and how they thought they were blackmailing him, when he was going to reverse the situation and get his brother back. They talked about keeping in contact and talking about themselves until he can come back. They agreed that she could go see New Orleans when she has a free weekend or sometime in the holidays if he couldn't leave the city.

They had been messaging each other and calling on some evenings, getting to know one another more. Silly questions about likes and dislikes turned into deep, embedded memories, fears and secrets surfaced between them and Caroline was pleasantly surprised by how much Klaus revealed about his past. She knew there were some memories of his long life he wished never to speak of, and she was fine with that, she understood, but she enjoyed his other detailed and graphic tales. He didn’t sugar coat anything for her, assuming what she can and can’t handle. And she loved it. She had also received a few pictures of New Orleans which fuelled her wanderlust and some of paintings of her, naked, in the throes of passion, which fuelled her lust and longing for the hybrid.

And that is why she was pacing back and forth, she missed him like she never had before. She felt it deep down inside that was tearing her apart. She couldn’t focus tidy in class, always wondered what Klaus was doing, what they would be doing if they were together instead of sitting in class, listening to the teacher drone on and on and on about nothing. She fantasized about them travelling, Paris, Rome, Tokyo and what kind of future they have together. So when she was saying goodbye to Klaus last night on the phone, she accidentally said she loved him. She quickly hung up before he said something, or didn’t say anything at all. She didn’t know which one scared her the most. So she had been screening his calls all days, ignoring the texts for her to ring him, to answer her phone and decided to get drunk instead, hoping it would give her the courage to call him.

Throwing herself on her back onto her bed dramatically, she finally clicked the name her thumb had been hovering over for the past half hour, listening as the dial tone only rang a few times before the call had been picked up. As if he had been clinging to his phone waiting for her.

“Before you say anything I need to get this off my chest.” She began.

“Sweethea-”

“No, no. Don't say anything.” She spoken sturnly, or she hoped it was. She couldn't tell with all the liquor in her body, but the damn had been opened and she was ready to confess. “I'm not sorry I said it. I'm not sorry because it's true, and I don't care if you don't feel the same way about me, I don't care that this is still new between us and I think I have felt this for a while now but I just haven't been that honest with myself.”

“Love-” He tried to interrupt her again.

“I'm not scared anymore. Of this, of my feelings for you. I was last night, because I obviously hung up. But I'm not anymore. But what I am sorry for is that I didn't get a chance to say it to you in person and it being over the phone. Its just I miss you so much and I do. Love you, that is.” She finally took a deep breathe from her rambling and tried to calm down her wild beating, heart.

Silence hung between them before Klaus broke it. “Have you finished now?” He sounded amused and was that nerves? She thought.

“Yeah.” she whispered. Her bravado disappearing, along with the effects of the alcohol she had consumed, the perks of vampirism.

“Good. Open your door.”

“Huh?”

“Open the door, love.”

She sat up off her bed and walked tentatively towards the door, finally sensing a presence behind it. Opening the door slowly she reveled Klaus on the other side, wearing his usual black combat boots, pants, jacket and his grey henley, phone still in hand by his ear. His blue eyes shone in happiness and his dimpled smile was on display. The hybrid mask he usual donned had all but disappeared and she was looking at the real Klaus she caught glimpses at when she played her little blonde distraction routine.

“Wha-” She tried to ask him why he was there, but the rest was muffled as he covered her mouth with his own, kissing her greedily, grabbing her waist, pulling her to him. He flashed them in side her dorm, closing the door and pressing her up against it, her leg instinctively wrapping around his waist as his hand glided over her ass and down her thigh, and back up underneath her dress.

Her hands that were clung around his neck, travelled down his torso over his henley, his muscles twitching underneath as she tore the fabric into pieces, needing to feel his skin on hers. Wanting more, she tore his belt in two and pulled open his jeans and grabbed his hard length, causing Klaus to growl into her mouth before he diverted his attention to her neck, kissing, nibbling, marking her with his human teeth.

Her head banged against the wooden door as he simultaneously bit her hard and inserted two fingers inside her heat, but not in the mood for foreplay, she reluctantly pulled his hand back, a brief look of confusion flitted across his features before she moved his cock to her entrance. Smirking, Klaus thrust into her deeply and set a fast, hard and unrelenting pace, the door creaking behind her under the strain of their tryst. She moved her arms around his back for more support as his fingers gripped into her waist and thighs. Reaching her climax, her nails dragged down his his bare back, triggering his own, both spent and panting.

“Hot vampire-hybrid sex indeed,” she mumbled, “not that I'm complaining. But what are you doing here?”

“You wouldn't answer your phone and I needed to see you. To see if you meant what you said.” He pulled out of her and settled her back on her feet, steading her.

“Of course I do, did you not here my rambl-” she tried to convey how much she loved him, how deep her feelings ran when her cut her off with a soft kiss.

He locked eyes with hers and his face softened. “I love you too, Caroline.”

[onedirectioniosps-blog]

Quiet

This is just a smut I wrote one day. I hope you all like it!

Quiet

You sat in your room, listening to music and playing on your laptop. Your mom walked by, your dog following close behind. “I’m gonna lay down and take a nap for a little bit,” She said.

“Okay,” You replied. “Mind if Niall comes over?”

“No, that’s fine. Just make sure you’re quiet, your father’s gotta sleep for work tonight.” You nodded and she walked into her room and shut the door. You got a text soon after from Niall.

“On my way princess, be there in less than 5.” You smiled and texted back.

“Alright babe, see you soon.” You set your phone down and continued with what you were doing. A few minutes later, you heard a knock at the door. Thankfully, your dog didn’t bark. You went and opened the door and smiled when you saw Ni.

“Hey princess,” he said, giving you a passionate kiss on the lips.

“Mmm…What’s that for?”

“How much I missed you, baby girl.” You giggled and kissed him once more before taking his hand and bringing him to your room. You both sat on the bed, and you started talking to him about your classes, the new friends you were making, the new songs you were learning on guitar, and the show you were going to do at your school. “That’s amazing, (y/n). I love it.”

“Good, because guess what song I’m going to play?”

“Hmm, I don’t know?”

“Well, it’s a song you wrote, about the first time we had sex.”

“Slow Hands.” You nodded with a smile. “Babe! That’s amazing!” You put your hand to his mouth.

“Shh! Dad’s sleeping. We’ve gotta be quiet.”

“Oops, sorry!” He whispered. You giggled and kissed his cheek. “Hmm…speaking of Slow Hands….” He slowly ran his hand along the inside of your thigh. You bit your lip, then grabbed his hand.

“Niall, what are you doing?”

“Come on, baby….we haven’t seen each other in 2 weeks. We haven’t felt each other in a month, if you know what I mean.” You gasped and bit your lip again. He started running his hand along your thigh again.

“You know how loud I can be, Nialler…..”

“Fuck it,” Niall whispered in your ear. You slightly moaned and forcefully pulled him into a kiss.

“Wait,” You said.

“What?”

“The door. Shut it.” He ran and shut the door, then came back to you.

“Lay down, princess. I’m gonna show ya how much I love ya.” You took deep breath, because you knew exactly what this meant. First, he was gonna go down on you. Then, he was going to passionately make love to you. He got on top of you, and began by kissing you. He licked your bottom lip, trying to gain access into your mouth. You, of course, allowed it, but it caused a moan to escape you. He pulled back and smirked.

“What?” You asked.

“You moaned. You know what that does to me, baby.” You smiled and bit your lip. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, inhaling your scent. “You smell beautiful princess.” He then resumed kissing you. He then moved his lips and attached them to your neck, searching for your sweet spot. You ran your fingers through his hair as he continued the kisses along your neck. You let out a tiny squeal when he found the spot. He chuckled, the went back to kissing and sucking on that spot. He was going to leave a hickey; he always did. You ran your free hand down his torso, and stopped right at the button and zipper of his jeans. You pushed him back, where he landed on his elbows on the bed. You pulled your shirt off, causing him to sharply inhale. “So sexy….” he said. He sat back up and kicked his shoes off, then removed his own shirt.

“That body though….” You said and giggled. You pulled your shorts off as Niall removed his pants. He moved to sit at the head of the bed with his back against the wall. You straddled him and placed your hand on his cheeks. “I missed you so much, Nialler.”

“I missed you too, Princess. I can’t wait to make love to ya.” You leaned in and kissed him again as he unclasped your bra, took it off you, then tossed it across the room. His eyes were glowing when he saw your breasts.

“Like something you see?” You questioned. He bit his lip and placed his hands over them. He began rubbing your nipples, causing you to inhale deeply. You closed your eyes and tilted your head back slightly. He then placed his mouth on your left breast, and began licking and sucking on the nipple. You once again ran your fingers through his hair, and held onto the back of his neck. He then placed his hands under your thighs, lifted you up and flipped you over so you were laying on the bed. He got on top of you and went back to fondling your breasts. He then slowly kissed down your chest. You were so anxious for what was coming next, you didn’t realize you’d been grinding your hips until Niall had to hold you still.

“I know you’re anxious, baby girl, trust me, I am too. Just be patient princess. You’ll get the pleasure you want and need.” You bit your lip again as he continued. He got down to your stomach, then finally reached your thighs, where he ran his hands along the insides of them, then ran his tongue along the insides of them.

“Mmmm, Niall….”

“Yes, love?”

“Please….”

“Patience, Princess.” You sighed and nodded. You always got this way when you two were making love, but he always came through with what he said. He said you’d get the pleasure, which you would. Niall is the one and only person you’d ever had sex with. He’s the best at eating you out, fingering and sex. Period. He knew you was a little frustrated, but smiled at you anyway. You gasped when he placed a kiss on your wet core. He then pulled off your panties and tossed those. He licked his lips when he looked at your pussy. “You’re so wet……” He said. “Now just who made you this way?” You didn’t answer, you just looked at him. He shoved two fingers into you without warning.

“Fuck! Niall!” You moaned out.

“Who made you this wet?”

“Mmmm you…” You replied as he fingered you.

“Fucking right I did.” With that said he placed his mouth on your clit as he moved his fingers in and out of you. You threw your head back and quietly moaned.

“Babe…..” You moaned. He swirled his tongue around your clit a few times, then flicked his tongue over it. He then decided to replace his fingers with his tongue. He took his fingers out of you and placed them in his mouth, licking every little bit of your juices off of them.

“Mmm, you taste so good, (y/n).” That only made you wetter. He delved his tongue inside you and began to tongue fuck you. You ran your fingers through his hair and assisted him.

“Fuck yes, Niall…..” You moaned out. He pulled his tongue out and looked up at you. “What is it?” You questioned in a state of euphoria.

“Ride my face, babe.” You bit your lip, then he laid down, allowing you to straddle yourself over his face. You began to lower yourself onto him, but because he thought you were going too slow, he grabbed your thighs and pulled you down onto him. You gasped and threw your head back at the pleasure he was giving to you.

“Oh Niall….yes….” His tongue was doing all sorts of things while you were grinding your hips on him. He was tonguing your insides, licking up and down your slit, sucking and licking your clit, and sucking on your labia here and there. “Niall, oh my god…..” You could feel your orgasm building up, and knew you were going to cum soon. “Ni….I’m getting close….” With that being said, he pulled you off of him, and laid you back down.

“I want to try something.”

“Alright, what is it?”

“Have you ever squirted?” You shook your head, but you’d always wanted to. “I’m going to attempt to make ya. I was reading up on it, and what ways you could finger someone to make it possibly happen.” You bit your lip and nodded.

“I’ve always wanted to.”

“Why haven’t you?” You nodded.

“Well considering you’re my first....” He chuckled.

“Haha, oh yeah!”

“Yeah. What are you gonna do?”

“Me? I’m gonna finger the shit out of you until something comes out,” he growled.

“Mmm….do it babe.” He placed one hand on your stomach, and the other went back to your pussy. He once again put two fingers inside you, but he went easier than the first time. He moved them in and out, and you could hear your juices squelching as he did it.

“Fuck that’s hot…” He breathed out. He resumed his fingering, but picked up a little bit of speed.  Once again, you could feel something building up, but it wasn’t the normal feeling of an orgasm. It was way more intense.

“Niall…..something…..I can feel something happening…..”

“Come on baby, you can do it….squirt for me.” He picked up his speed a little, then you felt it. Liquid came shooting out of you onto his fingers, hand, and part of sheets.

“Mmm, fuck!” You moaned. He pulled his fingers out, and had a look of aww on his face. “What happened?” You questioned.

“You….you did it! You squirted, princess!” You giggled and he licked his fingers. “Fuck that’s tasty.” He then went to clean up your pussy.

“Mmm…” You moaned. After removing his face from your continuously dripping wet core, he removed his boxers. He threw them on the floor and placed himself at your entrance.

“Are you ready?” You nodded and he slowly pushed himself inside of you. You closed your eyes and took a breath as you felt him fill you. You’d had sex with him several times now, and you still weren’t used to his size. You don’t think you’d ever adjust to it either. As soon as he was all the way in, he stopped, allowing you to get comfortable. “All set?” He asked. You nodded and held the back of his neck to pull him in for a kiss. He slowly began thrusting in and out of you, causing you to moan. You moved your hands down his back and grabbed his ass, squeezing it. He absolutely loved it when you did that, because he always picked up his thrusting speed, which he did just then. You wrapped your legs around him, and grabbed his hand, interlocking his fingers with yours. “Mmm….I love you…. (y/n).” He said through moans.

“I love you too…..mmmm fuck yes….” He was grunting and moaning, which was so hot. “Fuck Niall….that feels so good….” You said as he picked up his speed a little. He grabbed both of your wrists with one hand and pinned them above you. With the other hand, he ran it down your body and began rubbing your clit. “Oh! Niall!” You moaned out. His thrusts became harder, deeper and faster. You could feel yourself getting close to another orgasm, and he knew it, because he sped up a bit more.

“Fuck (y/n)….you’re so fucking tight!”

“Sing to me…”

“What?” He questioned as he thrusted.

“Sing Slow Hands…..please….” You moaned. He seemed confused, but proceeded anyway.

“We should take….this back to….fuck….my place…..”

“Mmmmm….” You moaned.

“That’s….oh fuck, babe.....”

“Please….”

“What she said……right to… fuck….my face…..” His thrusts were getting sloppy, which meant he was going to cum soon. You were getting very close too. “Cause I…..want you….fuck!….bad…..”

“I’m about to cum, Niall!”

“Yeah I want….you baby…..Me too, fuck! On three….” He moaned.

“One….” You said. He interlocked his fingers with yours on both hands.

“Two…” He said. The pleasure was so amazing and ecstasy was running through you.

“Three!” You said together and your walls clenched around his dick. You felt his warm cum go inside you. He closed his eyes and moaned, you arched your back and threw your head back, and you both tightened the grips on your interlocked fingers. This was by far one of the best orgasms you’d ever had. He thrusted a few more times to allow you to get your high out, because you always rode your high out when you rode him. With your fingers still interlocked, he kissed you. Remaining inside you, he looked you in the eyes. “I love you, (y/n). Don’t ever forget that.”

“I love you too, Niall. You’re the love of my life, and the most amazing person I’ve ever been with.” He smiled and kissed your forehead before pulling out. He laid down next to you, then put an arm around you and pulled you into his chest. You laid your head over his heart, and listened to it beat. It was still racing, but it eventually slowed to a normal, calm and safe pace. You placed one of your legs over his and smiled. You’d never been so happy to be with someone in your life.

“So, after we have some time to relax, how’d you like to go get something to eat?” He asked.

“That’d be perfect. Chinese?”

“Perfect.” You smiled and kissed his chest.

[mrjcb]

My Best Friend’s Sister (Part 7)

Adult Content. 18+ only. Start this story from Part 1 here.

Part 7:

2012 - 2013

I saw Eva a handful of times after my birthday in 2011, and we had fun together. My birthday let us rekindle some of what we used to have. It was very casual and lasted a couple months into 2012. Until around April, I’d say. Just normal “friends with benefits” type stuff. I’m not going to go into detail in the interest of time but if you want to hear about it you can send me an ask.

After that, in classic Joe-and-Eva form, we didn’t see each other for close to a year.

I mean, I’d check up on her and she’d check up on me -- mostly through little text messages, you know? And we did see each other once or twice, but only in passing when I was with David. Speaking of David, he and I weren’t very close during this time, either. Mostly because of schedule differences and careers and everything.

And you know what -- I’m not going to lie to you. I could easily sit here and say that it was mutual. That her and I just “drifted apart.” But do you want to know the truth? I neglected her. I was focused on my business. My brother had a son. I was traveling. Just... life, you know? And I have a bit of “relationship anxiety” which doesn’t help, but I’ll get to that later.

The bottom line is -- I neglected her and she stopped trying. It’s sad for me to write this right now, but it’s the truth. And I didn’t really realize it at the time. Hindsight is 20/20.

So I’m going to fast forward and pick up after the 1 year gap. It’s now ~March 2013.

I went over there to David & Eva’s apartment one night to catch up with him since it had been a long time since I saw him, and we’d barely been speaking.

I had a little anxiety, thinking about seeing Eva with her new boyfriend (oops, I forgot to mention this. She had left her previous boyfriend after my birthday when she and I picked up our fling again. Maybe it was worth going into detail? Oh well). But when I got inside neither of them were there. However, Eva’s mom was there -- who I hadn’t seen in ages.

She was thrilled to see me. We always communicated in this really weird, funny, half-sign-language way because I didn’t speak Spanish and she barely spoke English. But we had a really great -- or, rather, we have -- a really great chemistry. So I started speaking to her in their living room, and when David realized I would be talking to her for a long time he went into his room to do something in the mean time.

I asked Eva’s mom how everyone was. The step-dad, their other family that I had met once or twice. You know, everybody. It was great. After talking to her for a while I went to hang out with David, and then went home shortly afterwards.

But about 2 hours later I got a text message on my phone:

It was from Eva:

“Why didn’t you tell me you were coming over?” or something like that.

I called her right away and she sounded sad. I told her I was sorry and that I didn’t think it really mattered if I was going over. I told her that if we wanted to see each other we could just meet somewhere, you know? I just thought we were kind of living our separate lives intentionally.

She told me that yes, that’s true, but that if I was going to her house she thought I’d care enough to tell her or whatever. I’m paraphrasing heavily -- forgive me.

As she told me that last part, the “I thought you would care enough to tell me so that I could see you,” she started to, not really cry -- but close. I could hear it in her voice. I didn’t know why she was so hurt by, what was, to me, nothing. Plus, she had a boyfriend. That long-term guy, you know?

So I thought she was making a fuss over nothing. But of course I didn’t tell her that. Oh, no... I’d never say that to my Kitten. I consoled her and told her I was sorry, and I told her not to cry over me, & that I would go over and see her right now if she wanted me to. Or that she could come over. Or that I’d even go and pick her up. You know? Anything she wants.

She stopped crying and composed herself. I asked her if she was okay, and she started saying, “I’m so stupid. I’m so stupid,” a few times and chuckled at herself as if she was disgusted with herself. I guess she was embarrassed.

I told her she wasn’t stupid, and I promised that I would let her know next time I was going over.

Then she almost cut me off:

“Can I come over now?” She asked bluntly, with a few sounds of sniffles remaining from her cry.

"Where’s your boyfriend?” I asked. The words just flew out of my mouth. It came off a little... I don’t know the word. You could hear my jealousy. Shit, I could hear my jealousy myself as soon as I uttered the words.

“Why does that matter?”

“It doesn’t matter I guess.” I said dryly.

“Do you not want to see me?” she asked. She sounded worried.

“Yeah. Of course [I do].”

Eva didn’t seem to believe me when I said this. She then asked me about a girl I dated briefly/casually in the months before. She must’ve heard from mutual friends or from David.

I replied to Eva, “What about her? No, no. I haven’t seen her in weeks.”

“Then why haven’t you called me.”

And I didn’t have a response. After a few seconds of none of us saying anything, she blurted out:

“Do you want me to break up with my boyfriend?”

And still, I didn’t respond. I couldn’t say a word. I didn’t know what to say, and I don’t know why. It’s unusual for me to hesitate this way. I was incapable of forming a single word or sound with my mouth. There was silence on the phone for what seemed like forever -- 10 seconds, 15 seconds.

Then she hung up on me.

Yup.

I would normally be upset if a girl hung up on me, but I was sort of responsible for this one, yeah?

I looked at my phone, about to tap her number to call her back -- but I was looking at her picture on her profile on my phone -- and I thought to myself for a few seconds: What would I even say when I called her back?

I clicked “Text” instead and sent her a text message:

“I do want to see you. I’m here. Let me know if you want me to pick you up. I’m sorry.” or something like that.

But she didn’t respond.

And then after that, a couple more months passed without us communicating. Especially since I wasn’t really talking to David all that much. Throughout this time I was doing other stuff. I dated my dentist (shh! that’s illegal, right?) for a little bit. In my defense, she did call me a stud so please tell me, how am I not supposed to fuck her after that? I mean let’s be real here.

By the way, nobody else has ever called me a stud. I’m not sure what this means for me. Maybe Semi-Stud Joe now? Yeah? Yeah? K, maybe not.

Alright. Onward.

I didn’t reach out to Eva again and she didn’t reach out to me. There was dead air between us.

Four or five months later, around September or something, I finally got a text message out of the blue from Eva that was in Spanish:

“Y por mucho que te esfuerces ya nunca volverás a sentir lo mismo. Ya nunca tendrás la sensación de estar a tres metros sobre el cielo.”

It’s a quote from a book -- I translated it online (or asked my sister in law, I forgot. Probably both.) and it means:

“ No matter how hard you try you'll never feel the same again. You'll never again feel like you are three meters above the sky “

And I’ll be honest. I didn’t know what the fuck to write back to that. I didn’t respond. I meant to respond the same day. You know when that happens?

But then the next day came. And the next. And the next. And I didn’t know what to say.

And eventually it was like, “Well, I can’t respond now because it’s been too much time!”

But I looked at that text message every single day (even though I couldn’t pronounce that shit).

And this is the one action -- or inaction -- that really tears me up inside when I think about it. Kitten called out for me and I wasn’t there. It’s as simple as that, you know?

I was supposed to be the one person that wouldn’t do this shit to her. It’s embarrassing and shameful.

And just in case you think -- or someone else thinks -- that I’m exaggerating, I’ll say this: Eva is one of those girls that will think about something and obsess about something for a very long time, and then give you a very tiny hint about it. And if you don’t pick up on the hint, if you don’t ask her about it, or if -- in my case -- I don’t fucking reply to the text message, she will just assume the worst. She’ll think that, somehow, she’s the one that did something wrong. Maybe you’re the same. Maybe not. But I knew this about her better than anyone else in the fucking world and I still ignored her and made her suffer.

Additional note: Ever since I started learning a little more about D/s relationships (barely, I’m a humble novice), I recognize a lot of traits that were/are present in Eva. I think sometimes us uninformed people think that the D/s thing is just a game -- but it’s really based off of who you are, deeply, as a person. The more I interact with submissives and “littles” and stuff is the more I feel like I’m talking to Eva. You know? I don’t want to -- and I steadfastly refuse to -- slap a label on her or anyone, but it helps me to understand her. That is all. More on this later.

I have more to say about this -- but I’m keeping it short. You can send me an Ask if you are curious and want me to elaborate more.

A Rebuilding Friendship

At or around this same time -- August, September 2013 --  David and I had gotten really, really close again, but we still barely saw each other. We would text all day and play video games online, and that’s kind of how we hung out with each other, you know?

Sometimes I’d meet him for lunch since he worked relatively close geographically to me, and that was cool. But other than that, our schedules were usually very different and I spent a lot of my free time with family and other things. But David & I were talking a lot. Every day, really.

And, to make things better, he actually started talking to me about Eva. He would tell me how she was doing and stuff, and he would tell me when they were in an argument, and normal stuff like that.  I appreciated it. I think he thought that her and I were ancient history. Heh. Maybe we were...

And one day when we were playing video games, David told me he was about to buy a house. It was great for him and his family. They all moved out of their apartment (David, Eva, and their Mom) into this new house which was -- sadly -- further away from me. But not too far. I’d drive anywhere for... well, you know.

David invited me to see the new house, and I got excited about the possibility of seeing Eva again. Before departing my house to head over I sent her a text message.

“I heard about the new house. Congrats. I’m going to go check it out tonight. Give me a tour?”

But no response.

When I got over to their new house, I parked in their driveway, and there was a window directly in front of where I parked. I got inside and congratulated David, and he started showing me around. It’s a great place for them -- a lot of space -- and they each have their corner of the house to themselves.

One thing I noticed was Eva wasn’t around. It was a weeknight if I recall correctly, so I expected to see her since it was already somewhat late.

I asked David, ‘Where’s Eva and your mom?”

“Eva’s here. My mom is at my step-dad’s”

I felt crushed. Had I fucked things up so badly that she doesn’t even want to talk me? Doesn’t even want to see me?

You know, in the moment it was more confusing to me. Now that I’ve written out this giant fucking manuscript about our relationship, I can see what a dumbass I was. Again, hindsight is 20/20, I guess.

David and I hung out in his room, and then we sat down near the kitchen to eat, and we talked. While we were there I heard -- from the long hallway through the house-- a distant door open, and then I heard another door open and shut. Eva.

I tried to talk a little extra loud just in case she, somehow, didn’t know I was there. You know? I’m such a dork. But in those situations you find the one possible explanation -- no matter how unlikely -- and try to latch on to it and believe it.

But it didn’t work. David and I went back into David’s room before I heard her again.

After a little while longer of hanging out in David’s room -- maybe 20 minutes, 30 minutes -- I decided to text Eva discreetly.

I said:

“I’m here. I want to see you.”

But no response. After 2 minutes I followed up with:

“Kitten?”

And then, finally, she wrote back to me:

“Don’t call me that.“

When I saw that message, it hurt. It hurt so fucking bad. I stared at my phone, re-reading those four words that I admittedly deserved. David was talking to me, I think telling me about a new TV show or something, and I completely blocked him out. I’d respond with “Uh-huh,” and “Yeah,” and nod my head at him as my brain was on auto-pilot, fixating on thinking about his sister.

I got that feeling in the pit of my stomach -- that empty feeling. Ugh, it’s such a terrible feeling. I didn’t care or give a fuck about anything else at all. I was stuck thinking about Eva for the entire night.

David and I hung out for a couple more hours and at around 11:00 PM or 12:00 or something, David went to take a shower.

And I decided to use this opportunity to man up, you know?

I left David’s bedroom and went out into this foreign house, and headed down to the other side. It’s a really long, slender house, with a hallway that turns slightly so you can’t see the opposite end of it. And that’s where Eva’s room was. All the way at the end.

I walked down there slowly and made it to her bedroom door that was shut. I didn’t hear anything inside.

I stood there for what must’ve been 20 or 30 seconds. Maybe longer. I don’t know.

But eventually, I knocked.

Nothing.

I waited 15 seconds and knocked again.

Nothing.

I leaned up against the wall next to her door and was feeling really shitty about the whole thing.

I started to say:

“Eva? --” and I wanted to apologize. I wanted to say, “I’m sorry,” but I didn’t. I just said her name and stopped. When she didn’t answer, I left and walked slowly back to David’s room.

When I got back to David’s bedroom I realized that her bedroom window is the one I’m parked in front of.

Around 1-2 hours later I was very tired and it was time to leave. David followed me through the house as I walked towards his front door, turning off all the lights and stuff, the kitchen, the front light, etc.

I walked so slowly, praying to God that she’d come out before I left. She didn’t.

David escorted me out of the front door, and I turned around and told him, “...Tell Eva I say hi.”

I think he could see the disappointment on my face. Fuck disappointment -- more like sorrow. He gave me a nod. Like a reassuring nod. It was nice.

I turned to leave and he closed the front door.

I opened the little gate that led to the driveway and was about to close it behind me when I heard the front door open again. David was bringing me something that I had forgotten inside, I thought.

I went back towards the front door to get it from him, but when I turned the corner...

It wasn’t David.

It was my little Kitten, standing there, alone, looking at me with tears in her eyes. Tears rolling down her cheeks. She said one word, “Wait.” and started crying.

I ran up to her and put my arms around her, and she started crying profusely -- just like I’m about to fucking cry right now while typing this lmao

I picked her up and she wrapped her legs around me and her arms were around my neck. She cried and cried and cried with her head on my shoulder.

“I’m so sorry... I’m so sorry... I’m so sorry,” I said over and over and over to her. “I miss you. I miss you. I love you. I’m sorry.”

And we stood there, together -- me carrying her, rocking her, swaying her left to right -- under the stars, for what seemed like an eternity.

Continue Reading with Part 8

Part 1  - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7 - Part 8 - Part 9 - Part 10 - Part 11 - Part 12 - Part 13 (Ending)

[5hfanfiction]

Wicked Games (Chapter 9)

Trigger: brief involvement of drugs

I was lounging on the couch with my feet propped up on the coffee table, grazing through my neuroanatomy textbook. I was trying to study, but my eyes were becoming heavy, and I ended up rereading the same paragraph about six times before I finally gave up and slapped the book shut.

Normani was sitting to my right, working on some sort of economics assignment that I had zero understanding of.

“I think I’m going to call it quits for the night, Mani.”

She looked up, and gave me a small smile. “Yeah, me too.”

I glanced over at the clock on the opposite wall and blinked when I saw how late it was. “Mani, it’s 2 in the morning already.”

Her mouth jutted out to the side, “Oops.” Then we both chuckled lightly.

My face fell when a realization swept through me. When I got home and started studying with Normani, Lauren wasn’t here, and Lauren never came through the door, the whole time we were there. I was trying to fight the feeling, but I was worried.

“Hey, do you know where Lo is?” I asked as nonchalantly as possible.

Normani shrugged as she picked up her notebook and papers.

“Does she normally stay out this late?” I pretended like it wasn’t that serious to me by messing around with my backpack, and avoiding eye-contact with Normani.

“Not usually, but I’m sure she’s fine,” Normani offered. “I’m going to bed, goodnight Camila.”

I wanted to ask more about Lauren, but decided against it, as Mani walked to her room and disappeared behind her door.

An internal dialogue with myself ensued, as several questions infiltrated my head.

Where is that girl? We have a game tomorrow! What the hell is she doing out so late?

Well, maybe she stayed over at a friend’s place? But if that was the case, why didn’t she let any of her roommates know? She would let them know right?

Why wasn’t Normani more concerned? It is 2 AM! We do have a game tomorrow. Shouldn’t she be more worried? Am I overreacting?

It took me some time, but I decided to get up and get ready for bed, doing my best to ignore the incessant thoughts. I changed into my pajamas, and brushed my teeth. Once I was done, I settled under my blankets on the couch. I looked at the front door for a few moments, hoping Lauren would come through them. When she didn’t, I forced my eyes closed. ‘She’ll be here in the morning’ I tried to convince myself.

I tried desperately to fall into a slumber. I was exhausted, but my thoughts refused to stop. The unknown of the where, the what, and the with whom was driving me insane.

After about 5 minutes of agitated tossing and turning, I sat up with a sigh of frustration and reached for my phone. Looking through the contacts, I stopped when I found 'Lern Jergi’. A nickname I came up with for Lauren during her freshman year. I thought it was hilarious, but Lauren was never as amused.

I put the phone to my ear, awaiting the answer impatiently.

At last the ringing cut off, replaced with loud music and muffled conversations. Then the raspy voice arrived, “Camz!”

Relief washed through me. She’s alive at least. “Lauren, where are you?”

“Ummm….” Lauren followed that with some inaudible speech and I could hear some giggling in the background.

“What?” I asked pressingly.

“Um.. I’m with my friend Keana.”

I had no idea who that was. “Ok.. but where are you?”

“I am… in a house..I don’t know..” Her speech was heavily sluggish. She was clearly intoxicated.

“You don’t know where you are?”

“..No..”

I shook my head, my concern growing. “Where’s Keana?”

“Oh. She went to.. the back.. with this guy,” she recalled.

I sighed wearily. “Can you send me your location through the map on your phone?”

She took awhile to respond, then said, “Why?”

“I’m coming to get you,” I insisted.

“Ooh. Please come get me.”

I rolled my eyes. She’s drunk alright. “Send me your location, ok?”

“Ok,” she agreed.

I hung up the phone, and rushed to throw on a sweater and grab my keys. I was out the door as soon as the message containing her location reached me.

About ten minutes later, I pulled into an empty spot on the street outside the location. There were long lines of cars up and down the block. I opened the door, and could automatically hear loud music and various screams and conversation from partygoers.

I texted Lauren to let her know I had arrived. Heading towards the house, there were numerous cups lying about in the grass. Walking along the path, I had to jump backwards to get out of the way of two people running by me, chasing eachother. I grew self-conscious for a moment, remembering that I was in pajama pants and had no bra on. I rushed to get here so fast, I didn’t even consider it.

Then the door opened and a dark-haired girl stumbled out of it. 'Well, at least I don’t have to go inside and find her’ I thought.

“Hey sexy!” Lauren screamed at me loudly before throwing one arm around my shoulders and planting a sloppy kiss on my cheek. Her lips were rough. She was probably dehydrated from all of the alcohol she had consumed.

Then my nose scrunched up because of a certain stench that was attached to her. It gets worse. Upon a closer examination, I could see that her eyes were red and unfocused. “Are you high?”

She giggled mischeviously, then leaned towards me to whisper, “Maybe.”

“Lauren, we need to go,” I stated urgently.

“What? I thought you were coming to party with me,” she slurred. She then gave me the most adorable puppy dog eyes and stuck out her bottom lip in a pout, “Come party with me.”

“Come party with me back at home,” I said, trying another tactic. I tugged on her waist, hoping she would come with me.

She stumbled slightly at my force, but then wiggled her eyebrows at me, “In my room?”

I clenched my jaw, as a shiver ran through me. “No,” I said coldly.

She dropped her arm, and almost like a baby started whining, “Why not?!”

I was startled by her outburst and raised my hands slightly in defense. “Lauren..calm down. It’s time to go, ok?”

“No! Unless we’re taking this party to my room, I’m not leaving,” Lauren proclaimed.

I sighed deeply. It’s not like I had to actually go through with it when we got back home anyway. “Ok, we’ll party in your room.”

“No, I don’t believe you now,” Lauren said defiantly.

I groaned in irritation, my patience running thin. “Seriously Lauren? Come on,” I grabbed her hand and tried to force her to follow me, but she was surprisingly strong and stood her ground.

“Nope,” she said as she turned to go back inside the party.

Well, I couldn’t let that happen. I rushed around to get infront of her and did the only thing I could think of to get her to stop. I kissed her.

God, it was like kissing a brewery. I could literally tell how much she drank. She would have a massive hangover the next day for sure. Hopefully she wouldn’t even remember this moment.

When I pulled away, her eyes were still closed. “We’ll take the party to your room,” I declared.

A smile crept across her lips, as her eyelids opened, revealing her emeralds to me. “You’re pretty,” she said quietly.

This girl will be the death of me. She was so endearing. Although I should be mad at her for getting wasted the night before an important game, I couldn’t when she said things like that.

“You’re pretty too. Now let’s go,” I said grabbing her hand and pulling her along with me.

To my irritation, she stopped again. “Wait, what about Keana?”

“Keana?” Shit, I had forgotten about the girl Lauren came with.

“I can’t leave her,” Lauren argued.

“Ok, ok. Is Keana still with that dude?”

“Ummm…” Lauren trailed off. She creased her eyebrows and put a finger to her chin. “Think so.”

With her hand still in mine, we trekked into the party. I tensed up, just knowing I was going to get laughed at for my attire. 'Oh what the hell, it’s 3 in the morning anyway’.

The party was just as crazy as I had feared. There were people everywhere, barely enough space to breathe, much less move. It was a mess too. Trash was all over the place. Cups, wrappers, drinks, clothes laying on the floor. A spot in the corner of the room was oddly free of people, and a sheet was covering the floor there. I could see throw up on the wall surrounding it. The place was disgusting to say the least.

Most people were dancing or grinding against eachother. I noticed that about three people were passed out on the couch in the center of the living room. On the opposite side of the room, crowds of people were cheering and doing keg stands. The skunk-like stench was invading my nostrils, and incidentally my nose crinkled up.

A few people glanced at us, a couple of them did a double-take at my PJ’s but for the most part, we went unnoticed. Lauren led me through some people, upstairs and down a hallway. “She should be in here,” she commented pointing at a door with a bronze knob.

'I really hope I’m not interrupting something’ I cringed in my head as I knocked on the wood and then turned the doorknob.

Yup, we were definitely interrupting something. Both parties were fully naked. “Shit, sorry!” I exlaimed as I swung the door back to cover me and Lauren’s faces.

“What the fuck?” I heard a male voice yell from inside the room.

“Um.. Keana?” Lauren called out through the crack in the door. “I’m leaving. I wanted to make sure you’re ok.”

The girl who I presumed to be Keana appeared in the doorway, and opened it slightly, whilst pulling her bra straps over her shoulders. She had long, brown hair and was very attractive. “I mean, I was doing ok,” she huffed. She then turned and noticed me. “Who’s this?”

“This is Camila,” Lauren stated affectionately.

“Oh.” Keana looked at me with a smirk. It seemed like she knew who I was. That thought was confirmed when she added, “She’s as hot as you said she is.” She paused to look down at my lower body. “The pajamas are a nice touch.”

I blushed slightly, surprised by her remarks. Lauren told her about me? Told her I was hot? Lauren thinks I’m hot?

“Anyway, we should be going now,” Lauren interjected. “Do you need a ride?”

“Yeah, that would be great.” Keana looked back over her shoulder. “I’ll see you later Craig.” She caught a shirt that was tossed to her and pulled it over her head. Then she stepped forward, closing the door behind her. “Let’s go,” she smiled towards me.

When we walked back downstairs and outside, I realized Lauren still hadn’t let go of my hand. I wasn’t sure if it was because she simply wanted to, or if it was because she was afraid she’d lose her balance otherwise.

I asked for Keana’s address once we were inside the car and after that I sat and drove in relative silence, while the other two girls discussed the events of that night.

Apparently Keana had only just met the Craig dude about two hours ago. They got to talking, got to dancing, and then hit a blunt together. Keana said she was 'in the mood’ and he was hot, so she banged him. She talked about it as if it was the most casual thing. Like it happens as often as someone calls for a pizza.

I pulled up outside of Keana’s apartment, and she leaned forward from the backseat. She put her lips to my ear. With a slow and sultry tone she spoke, “It was nice to meet you Camila. Thanks for the lift, I hope I see you again.”

What the fuck? Who is this girl?

Then, rather quickly, she was gone from the car. I paused for a moment, taken completely off guard by this random girl I just met. She was very confident and carefree, both attractive qualities.

“I’m hungry,” Lauren abruptly complained. I looked over to find her rubbing her belly dramatically.

“Figures,” I chuckled.

I drove through a Burger King, ordering a burger and fries for her. As soon as I handed her the bag, she dug into it and shoved a handful of fries in her mouth. It was as if she hadn’t eaten anything in a week.

“Don’t make a mess in my car,” I griped.

Working hard to keep my eyes open, I drove back to the house. By the time I pulled up, Lauren was already done with her meal.

I parked and we both exited the vehicle. To my shock, Lauren’s hand returned to mine as we walked to the front door. I shook my head in confusion, but questioned it less when she gripped my hand harder whilst she tripped at the small step in front of the door. Under different circumstances, I would have laughed at her. Unfortunately, I was too exhausted to find anything funny at the moment.

I led her to the kitchen and filled up a glass of water. “Drink this,” I ordered.

“Yes maam,” she giggled, with a small salute. I rolled my eyes as she finally released my hand to take the cup.

I rubbed my eyes, struggling to keep them open by this point. Starting to feel uncomfortably warm, I removed my sweater, and set it on the counter. I looked back at Lauren to see her looking at me gleefully, while tilting the cup higher and higher as she basically chugged the water.

I shook my head, trying to debate whether I should ask her why the hell she was at a party tonight, or if I should wait for tomorrow.

Lauren sighed in accomplishment after she took the final gulp and slammed the cup back down onto the counter. “Done,” she grinned.

“Good, now let’s go to bed.”

“You’re coming to bed with me Camz?” she asked with hope in her eyes.

“Er.. no.” I mumbled.

“Yes you are!” Lauren insisted. She grabbed my wrist and practically dragged me to her bedroom. I kept trying to free my arm, but it wasn’t working. 'This is a bad idea’ was all I could think.

Lauren practically pushed me onto her bed. “Stay here,” she commanded, as if I’m a dog. She then pointed her two fingers at her eyes and then at me, to signify that she’ll be watching me.

My heart automatically started beating hard being in her bed again, making me remember the last time I was on her bed.

Lauren walked over towards her closet. I could barely see because it was dark, but with the slight light from the moon shining through the curtains of her window, I could just make out her curves as she removed her shirt, and then her bra. I swallowed, seeing the muscles of her back stretch and contract as she leaned over to grab another shirt and pull it on. She then pulled down her pants, and kicked them off. My eyes widened, realizing she was only wearing a thong underneath. Her bare cheeks were exposed to me, and I felt myself licking my lips without even realizing it.

I shook off the naughty thoughts arising in my mind and slipped under her covers, accepting the fact that Lauren was not going to let me leave her room tonight.

I relaxed onto her comfortable mattress, my aching back enjoying the new and improved location. My eyes started to flutter shut when I felt a warm body situate themselves next to me. My eyes shot open. Her bare legs were wrapping themselves around me, like a koala to a tree branch. Her face nestled itself into my neck, and she wrapped one arm around my side. The position was so amazingly comfortable. Her lips being so close to my skin was giving me goosebumps.

To be honest, if I wasn’t so tired, I probably would’ve jumped her right then. Instead, my eyes closed, and I fell into the deepest sleep I’ve experienced since I started staying with the group of girls.

—

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