#and shes not the only one why do people love trying to poke holes into my completely healthy friendships

[snixx]

why can't people let me be happy why do they always have to attempt to get in my head and try to convince me in unlovable and love and overinvest in other people too much literally fuck you and fuck you for getting in my head because now idk if they're right

[potchi-fics]

8 ball

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Bada and Y/n, for some reason, hate each others guts-- the two try and beat one another whenever they're in the same room. but what happens when the tension transforms into... something else? NOTE: there may be suggestive themes, or even full on nsfw🔞🔞.. i just wanted to give you all a heads up

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Y/n, one of the it girls on the campus. she has everything: money, money, good looks.. everything. one thing about her is she's not the innocent girl you think she looks. oh, no, she's a woman who will do anything to get her way, no matter what.

Bada, like Y/n, one of the it girls. she, too, has everything Y/n has. but she's a player-- she doesn't, or rather, won't care about your feelings. she oozes fuck girl energy.

and they both hate loathe each other.

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆

Y/n and her friends are playing billiards, talking to one another happily, discussing about their stressing college life when Noze changes the topic to Y/n.

"so Y/n," dragging out the first word, "any updates on your love life?"

"please," Aiki snorts, "Y/n? love life? don't even bother-- ah shit!" by the looks of it, the cue ball fell in the corner pocket.

Y/n rolls her eyes playfully, "you're talking as if i'm not here, eh? and besides, i just haven't found my match." she pouts.

"oh, trust me," Monika quips remarks, "you have. by the way, you suck at this, Aiki."

the three only shared knowing looks while Y/n looks at them in confusion. she was about to ask what she meant when they hear a set of people take their place beside them.

Y/n face distorts into annoyance, only crossing her legs and staring at the other table.

"miss me?"

Bada.

She scoffs, "as if."

Bada confidently strolls to her, ignoring the group. "oh c'mon, i know you do."

"talking nonsense, baby," the petname only making Bada smirk, "you're self-projecting onto me.. you're being so obvious, Bada." Y/n's honey like voice tease her.

their moment gets ruined as they hear Chocol's voice from the other table. Bada winks at Y/n, and she gave her a flying kiss as a reply. Y/n looks back at her friends and they all stare with their eye brows raised.

"what?"

"nothing.." Monika answered.

Y/n grumbles. "what is it? tell me? and why does Bada have to choose a table beside us? there's like, plenty other tables."

Aiki and Noze shakes their head at her, "stop grumbling, you look like a baby. let's play!"

minutes pass by and her were all enjoying their stay; making jabs at each other whenever a shot doesn't work out. what Y/n doesn't notice is Bada throwing looks at her every 5 minutes.

"dude, stop staring at her." Haechi pokes fun at her, "we know you're in love and all, but seriously, play."

"i'm not in love with her," Bada denies. "stop saying that."

her friends only hums, resulting another comment from her.

"i'm being for real right now," Bada throws up a middle finger, "it's just so fun annoying her."

Chocol mumbles out, "yeah, that's how my grandpa and grandma met."

"oh, fuck off, Chocs." Bada groans while Haechi laughs her ass off.

a moment later and a woman walks in the place, she marches to where Bada's table is.

"oh! Redlic?" Chocs seem surprised.

Redlic clings to Bada, not even batting an eye to Chocol-- making Haechi and Chocol roll their eyes secretly.

"i missed you, baby." Redlic states, hugging Bada tighter.

Bada separates herself from her, "stop calling me that. you know i hate being called those."

"but if it's Y/n, you don't complain.."

"real, real."

hushed whispers from Bada's friends made her roll her eyes.

going back to Y/n and she is fuming. she hates that that woman keeps clinging to Bada. her stare was so intense that it looks like she's burning holes at the back of their head.

"relax, no one's gonna take your baby away from you," Aiki prods, "why so angry?"

she only roll her eyes and clicks her tongue, trying to focus her attention on the pool. "i'm not."

"enemies to lovers, 'm betting twenty-five dollars on that." Aiki added.

you did try to play, but you see that woman clinging to Bada in the corner of your eye, distracting you.

Noze stares at you in amusement, "how come you're still great at this even though you're distracted?"

"'cus sixty-five percent of her life revolves around this place," Monika remarks.

"then money, grades, coffee, and lastly.." Noze side eyes the other table, "Bada."

hitting the cue ball rather harshly, "you guys are crazy." she rubs the chalk cube against the tip of her cue, "my life does not revolve around her."

"it kinda does."

she only rolled her eyes for the millionth time today. before being able to strike the eight ball, Chocol comes over.

"hey, y/n," she raises her eyebrows at Chocol, "you wanna play against Redlic? the woman beside Bada. there's a bet going on right now, and you know.."

guess now you know her name.

"absolutely," Aiki answered for her.

Chocol nods her head and goes back.

Y/n hits Aiki's shoulder, "you didn't even give me time to think?"

"c'mon, don't you wanna beat Redlic?" her friend whines, "also, i wanna join the bet, so let's go."

Aiki drags them all to where a crowd is forming. she clicks her tongue once more, seeing how Redlic arm's wrapped around Bada's.

"you're the one playing against me?" Redlic cockily questioned.

Y/n simply nods, "yep."

"prepare to lose."

all Y/n could think was, is that all she can do?

Y/n shrugs, "we're wastin' everybody's time here, considering i'm only practicing."

Aiki shouts, "that's my chicken."

"that's right, i raised you like that!" Monika throws out.

and she sees Noze laughing and filming the whole thing. she also sees Redlic's face morph into irritation.

"you go first, i insist." Y/n comments, staring at Bada deviously at the end of her sentence.

Redlic is doing surprisingly well, knocking every ball she hits down the pockets. not forgetting to take shots at Y/n who only smiled and whistled. but on her third to the last ball, she missed.

"aww," she coos, her eyes drifting to Bada as she fixes the table. "that sucks."

Y/n winks at Bada, getting a smirk in response.

now, it was her time to show off. with every hit, every ball-- she mesmerised everybody watching, even Bada. with every ball that she puts in, fuels Bada.

down with the last ball-- the eight ball. she positions herself and fortunately, it was in directly in front of Bada. she bends over, not even caring that other people were seeing them. all she cares, right now, is to make Bada lose herself.

Bada's teeth sinks into her lower lip, her eyes roaming Y/n's body. she was so busy gawking at her that she doesn't hear the crowd exclaiming as Y/n won. hell, she doesn't even notice Redlic storming out of the place.

the crowd disperse but Y/n turns around to face her. she sees Y/n sit on the pool table, beckoning her over.

"enjoyed my show?" she let Bada go between her legs.

Bada puts her hands on the girl's hips, putting her face dangerously close to Y/n. "mhm.."

the air around them suddenly becomes thick, tension building up rapidly. Y/n's fingers massages Bada's nape and her thumb swiping Bada's lower lip.

her eyes lowers down to Y/n lips, "i loved it." she whispers.

"i can tell, baby."

slowly, Y/n pulls Bada towards her, and Bada lets her. just when their lips are about to touch, Y/n pulls back. Bada tries to chase her lips but she stops her.

"not yet," she murmured.

Bada breathed, "baby, why?"

"'cus i want to torture you." she kisses Bada's neck before pushing her away gently and walking to where her friends are.

Bada stares at you stunned as you saunter back to where your friends are because that's the first time that has happened to her.

"better luck next time, boss." Chocol pats her back.

Haechi snickers, "looks like you're the one who's gonna do the chasing."

deep down, she's more than okay with that.

ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻ੈ✩‧₊˚

OPS OPSS🤚 no nsfw yet hehe hope you all enjoy

・┆✦ʚ♡ɞ✦ ┆・

[mysillyside]

Ik they were trying to imply that Simon was being childish and needed the lesson spoonfeed to him by Betty literally transporting him into a child's body- but this could have been achieved so much better. Like I get the idea? It's a fine idea on its own. But why... Shermy and Beth?? Gonna be real it feels more like the writers wanted to include them somehow to hint at another spinoff then them being an actual narrative choice to have Simon learn from.

How to have Simon confront his flaws, and the flaws of his and Betty's relationship?

Transport him into a reality where he does put on the crown and become Ice King again. And have him talk to that version of himself. Let Simon and Ice King finally interact. (continue reading below:)

Make him see what a painful effect this has on his loved ones. How Marceline feels, how Finn feels, how literally most of OOO's citizens (especially the princesses) feel. And most of all, show him how this version of him is dealing with it. "Being Ice King was easier because I didn't realize how screwed up my life was" Simon said this at the very start of the show, so having him confront the fact that Ice King is literally the embodiment of his depression and misery would have been so powerful. Ice King is sad by nature but doesn't even understand why- making it impossible for him to find real happiness.

Ice King is also a reflection of all of Simon's negative traits, amped-up to 11. It's pretty clear throughout the show that not only did Simon hate being Ice King, but he also just like. Hates Ice King himself. He finds him embarrassing and best, vile at worst.

So what better way to show Simon how childish his quest to become Ice King again is than to like... just have him interact with Ice King. A personification of all he hates about himself, a caricature of his personality, motives and feelings.

My ideal version of "Simon realizes the flaws within himself and his relationship with Betty" would be Simon talking to Ice King.

You know how people say you learn the most from people who remind you of yourself and your own flaws? Have that happen.

And have Simon come to terms with the fact that Ice King is not this completely separate entity. He's a wounded, sad, lost version of himself. And idk. Having Simon accept that? Accept Ice King as someone who is and always has been linked to him.

And through seeing himself (Ice King) at his lowest point, the lesson can finally hit him in the face. No need to spell it out, explain it to the audience like we are being spoon-fed. Through this he realizes his own character flaws, and the fatal flaws in his and Betty's relationship, the sacrifices she made to help him reach peace.

We can still somehow tie the whole Casper and Nova characters into this. Maybe Ice King is crying (as he does), probably because he's so lonely, because he craves love and companionship so much, specifically seeking out romance, when all his attempts fail miserably.

And have Simon attempt to comfort him by telling him a story. Basically reminisce about his relationship with Betty and the choices they made, through random characters he makes up on the spot (which would be Casper and Nova).

The story starts out with Simon retelling his and Betty's love story through rose tinted glasses, but Ice King keeps asking questions. Like obliviously of course, without realizing, he pokes holes in the seemingly perfect love story. I feel like Ice King is usually like this?? He can't figure out what's wrong with him personally, but he is pretty good at determining other people's issues, but in a silly kinda oblivious way.

As this continues, at some point the story stops being about trying to comfort Ice King and devolves into Simon grieving over what he lost, the choices he made and how they hurt Betty. Basically doing what the actual episode 9 did, point out the flaws of the relationship. As Simon realizes how much Betty did for him and how willing he was to throw it all away. He ends the story on a sad note. There is no happy ending. He starts to cry finally god damn.

And then Ice King, in his Ice King way- attempts to comfort him. Basically telling him to calm down and that it's just a story. Simon bitterly looks away and Ice King just tells him. "But hey aren't you writing it? You can always change the ending if you don't like it! It doesn't have to end there! Keep going! You'll get better if you keep writing."

"But what if I can't change it? What if the book is already published?"

"There's never too late for a sequel! The great thing about writing is that it only ends when you want it to end!"

And with that just like. Make them hug. A symbolic gesture in which Simon accepts it all. That this is the story he wrote with his choices, he cannot take it back- but that he can keep moving forward. The story doesn't end until the author decides (holy shit it ties it back to the fact Fionna and Cake started out as a fanfiction! Author metaphors!!!).

By accepting Ice King as a part of himself, his ability to accept himself as a part of OOO makes more sense. He's a part of this world and he will keep going.

Anyhow then he has his big scene with Betty.

This is very rough I like- vomited it out just now because I needed closure (<- has not enjoyed the FaC finale even though she fundamentally agrees with the story/character conclusions and themes) so I wrote out this fanfic-esq post.

Idk I just thought the fact this whole show is about jumping through multiverses and not having there be a scene where Simon talks to Ice King and has a moment of self reflection/acceptance was a missed opportunity.

Anyhow ty for reading my silly fanfic post. Mby I'll make it into a real fanfiction idk.

Again this is very rough, and there's like a billion ways Simon's character arc could have concluded that would have left me more emotionally satisfied- but I might write about those some other time.

Hope you enjoyed the idea dump!

[howlingday]

Do you think it's valid criticism that Pyrrha should have not had a crush on Jaune? I seen plenty of people say she had no reason to. Jaune did have that deal with everything himself man pride arc right? (Wait didn't Blake do stuff like too but her team just kept following her?)

Again, this is another case of people poking holes just for the sake of defending their flimsy arguments, either to justify their preference or their prejudices. I guarantee you that those people who say Pyrrha had "no reason to like Jaune" are the same people who think Tauradonna is a valid ship.

Let's run through the facts of WHY Pyrrha liked Jaune. FIRST and probably the strongest argument is that Jaune didn't know who Pyrrha was, except when it was pointed out that she was on a cereal box that he ate. In contrast, look at how she responds to Weiss trying to shmooze her way into becoming Pyrrha's partner. She's distant, professional, and trying to keep the conversation as short as possible. When Jaune shows up, he manages to make her giggle, which is probably something she probably hasn't done in public in a long time.

SECOND, she isolated Jaune so he could be her partner. Think about it; why would a champion fighter throw away her only weapon for a guy she just met? Ze grognards will tell you that it's evidence that she's acting out of character, or is being needlessly incompetent. BUT what is actually happening is Pyrrha's making sure her partner is secure. This might be speculation, but she probably used her weapon as a sort of tracking device to find Jaune stuck in the tree, and when she finds him, we get the cutest Arkos moment yet.

And those who say, "She would never do that! She's a trained fighter!" She's a pit fighter at... Whatever. She's a celebrity, one who probably hasn't had much time to herself since coming to Beacon. And not only that, but she's also a teenager, a young woman acting on hormones, and I will tell you that hormones will make you do some crazy things. And from one crazy moment to the next, Jaune and Pyrrha become an incredible duo of brains and brawn, though both are not without the other.

Arkos was THE perfect ship of Volumes 1-3 and I will agni kai anyone who tries to fight me on this. Pyrrha loved Jaune, and we can see from Volumes 1-9 that he loved her, too.

[ladykailitha]

Royal Pain Part 23

Hey, guys! This story is back, baby! And is the start of the four chapters that are all one run on chapter basically. You'll see why at the end of this chapter I held off until I got the resolution written.

I still have some room on the tag list but not much, only six slots. So once it fills up, that's it, I will take no more requests for the list once it hits fifty.

Pt 1 Pt 2 Pt 3 Pt 4 Pt 5 Pt 6 Pt 7 Pt 8 Pt 9 Pt 10 Pt 11 Pt 12 Pt 13 Pt 14 Pt 15 Pt 16 Pt 17 Pt 18 Pt 19 Pt 20 Pt 21 Meta Pt 22

****

There wasn’t time for Eddie to see Steve and Wayne before the show, well for any of them to see their loved ones before the show, really.

Eddie’s knee was bouncing as hard as it was when he played in front of Steve for the first time.

They had all met Metallica at the sound check and had hit off, much to everyone’s surprise. But they had their own pre-show rituals and Corroded Coffin had theirs.

“Fuck,” Jeff said, coming back from the bathroom. “I think I’ve thrown up more times tonight than I did that time we all thought it would fun to main line tequila shots for two hours straight.”

Everyone winced in sympathy. That was a bad time for everyone all around.

“Who would have thought that after years of hard work,” Brian said, “that we would be opening for Metallica? Holy shit, this is our lives!”

Jeff smiled, looking a little less green around the gills. “Mandy said that if I waited for us to be ready, we would never take that chance,” he said, rubbing his hands on his pants. “And she’s right. We’ll never get a chance like this ever again.”

Gareth chewed on his thumb, gnawing at it worryingly. Eddie got up and put his arm around their youngest member. “Hey, this isn’t us selling out. This isn’t us giving up our dedicated following. This is us testing the waters to see if this is something we would enjoy doing.” He kissed the top of Gareth’s head. “We won’t know if we prefer smalls gigs at the Nightmare Hole over stadiums, if we haven’t played stadiums, okay?”

Gareth nodded. “I’m just being ridiculous.”

Jeff came over sat down on the other side of him. “No you’re not. It’s a valid concern. But Eddie’s right, too. How do you know you prefer intimate sessions over roaring crowds if you’ve never played to those roaring crowds?”

Gareth sighed. “Yeah, I guess.”

Brian tilted his head. “It’s the sound, isn’t it?”

All three other members turned to him. Gareth’s jaw dropped. He opened and closed his mouth several times trying to refute Brian’s claim, but found he couldn’t.

Jeff twisted in his seat to look at Gareth a little better. “Loud noises bother you?”

“Gare-bear...” Eddie said softly. “Why didn’t you say something?”

Gareth blushed and looked at his hands, picking at the skin around his nails. He shrugged. “I never thought about it. Until Bri said something, I didn’t even realize that might be why.”

Brian had been digging in his bag while they talked and chose that moment to brandish his find. “Tada!” He waved the noise canceling headphones around like a flag. “Wear these!”

Gareth stood up and gingerly took them from Brian and help them tenderly. He looked up Brian like he was a god damned hero.

Brian tapped on them. “Just plug them into little sound device they gave us and bam! No more sound. Or at least very little.”

Gareth fell on his friend giving him the biggest hug. Brian hugged him back fiercely.

“I just want to make sure you have fun out there, okay?” he whispered.

Gareth nodded.

There was a knock on the door and a stage manager poked his head in.

“Five minutes guys.”

Gareth straightened up and composed himself as his friends strapped on their instruments.

They all filed out but Gareth hung back for a moment. Eddie turned and smiled at him.

“Come on,” he said fondly, holding out his hand. “Let’s go make some noise.”

Gareth laughed. “Hell yeah!”

*

Steve was showed to the VIP box where a lot of people were already there. Some of them he knew like Gethin and Miranda. Wayne, too. Most of them were complete strangers and suddenly he felt like he didn’t belong here.

Everyone else here was family. Steve wasn’t even a boyfriend. Not yet anyway. They had barely kissed the once before this landed on their laps. Eddie even had to cancel his tattoo appointment for today. That’s how new this all was.

He took a step back. Then two. He was about to turn and run when Miranda spotted him.

“Steve!” she called out, making every head turn his direction.

Which did not help his feelings inadequacy in the slightest.

She leapt to her feet and dragged him over to sit between her and Wayne.

“I’ll introduce you all after,” she said. “So glad you could make it. Jeff was saying he was worried you wouldn’t be able to because of work.”

Steve blushed. Which meant Eddie had been terrified. “I wouldn’t have missed this for anything.”

She raised an eyebrow and twisted around to look him in the eye. “You sure? Because it looked like you were going to bolt to me.”

Steve shook his head. “I would have found somewhere else to watch them. But I don’t belong here with family and the significant others. I’m just...me.”

Miranda slumped down in her seat with a sigh. “Steve, of course you belong here. Eddie only had two people in the whole world he wanted to see him open for one of the biggest metal bands in the world. And you’re sitting next to other one.”

Steve looked over at Wayne who chuckled.

“Do we have to tie you down, Steve?” he asked fondly.

Steve shook his head. “No, sir. I’ll be good.”

Wayne hummed. “Glad to hear it. Now quiet down. My boy is about to play.”

Steve smiled for the first time since arriving at the arena.

The house lights went down and the stage lights went up. Steve leaned forward, elbows on his knees, chin propped up on his fists. Eddie was always beautiful to behold, but fuck. Like this, under the spotlights? He was incandescent.

Eddie leaned into the microphone and introduced his band to the audience.

“We don’t usually play other people’s music, but we got permission to do this one,” Eddie said. He nodded to Brian, who grinned.

Corroded Coffin’s bassist began to play, the first few notes in and the crowd went apeshit. Completely crazy. Steve turned to Miranda. “Shit. I think I know this one. It’s Master of Puppets, right? From Metallica?”

Miranda nodded. “Damn straight it is.”

Steve was on his feet screaming in an instant. Everyone was cheering and having a good time. Maybe he shouldn’t be here, but until someone said something, he was going to cheer Eddie on the loudest. He loved his metal boyfriend with all his heart.

*

Eddie stumbled off the stage covered in sweat and higher then he’d ever been on weed. The rest of the band was jumping and screaming too. There was no greater feeling in the world.

They got better than front row seats to Metallica as they watched from backstage.

Even after thirty-five years they still knew how to bring the house to their knees.

They celebrated with the band for a bit before their families were ushered in. Eddie had even cleared it with the band for Dustin and his friends to come meet them but only for five minutes.

Dustin and Mike were freaking out, but Will hung back, still shy. But Lars came over and talked to him for a minute and that really made Will’s day. Hell, his entire year if he was being honest.

They all filed out leaving the ten family members alone with the boys of Corroded Coffin. Gareth’s parents and twin were fawning over him calling him brave and saying how proud they were of him breaking out of his comfort zone.

Jeff’s dad and Mandy’s mom were huddled over in the corner with the couple, just hugging each other tight. No words needed.

Brian had his sister and Cecil and his sister chatting excitedly, hands waving about as they broke down their favorite moments of the concert.

Eddie picked Steve up and whirled him around kissing him soundly on the lips. “Baby, did you see us out there?”

Wayne chuckled. “Oh just him and about thirty thousand other people.”

Eddie kissed him on the cheek fiercely. “I’ve never felt anything like it! It was so amazing.”

“You were amazing, Eds,” Steve said. “All of you were. It’s you guys were made for that stage.”

Eddie kissed him again. “I’m so glad you were able to make it! I was worried that you wouldn’t be able to come.”

Steve kissed the side of Eddie’s mouth tenderly. “Well you see I had a cancellation this afternoon, so I was able to shift my schedule to accommodate my boyfriend opening for Metallica.”

Eddie blushed. “I’m sorry I had to cancel, baby.”

“I’m not mad, sunshine,” Steve assured him. “I’m happy for you.”

They kissed again.

Wayne waved Steve off so that he could hug Eddie. “I’m proud of you. Now don’t be getting too famous to see me, you hear?”

Eddie’s eyes welled up and his pressed his lips together. “I would never. I promise. I’ll always come to you, I swear it.”

Soon it was time to pack it all up and hit the road for home.

Everyone said their goodbyes and they all parted ways. With Eddie promising to stop by the shop tomorrow to reschedule his appointment.

Steve was beaming. High off the euphoria of watching Eddie live out his dream. He had never felt like this about anyone before and he couldn’t wait to tell everyone about how awesome Eddie did and how the crowd went wild for their music.

*

He really should have seen it coming. He should have been prepared. But he wasn’t.

Eddie didn’t come into the shop that day, because he called instead. Metallica had offered to let them opening for them for the rest of their tour. For the next two weeks, Corroded Coffin would be going on the road with one the world’s biggest metal bands.

And leaving Steve behind.

He fought hard to be happy for his boyfriend. But everything between them was too new. Too tender.

They didn’t even get to say goodbye in person and Steve was left with that feeling of not being good enough.

For anyone.

****

Part 24 Part 25 Part 26 Part 27 Part 28 Epilogue

Tag List: @spectrum-spectre @estrellami-1 @zerokrox-blog @artiststarme @swimmingbirdrunningrock @gregre369 @pyrohonk ​@bookworm0690 @chaosgremlinmunson @goodolefashionedloverboi @chaoticlovingdreamer @maya-custodios-dionach @messrs-weasley @val-from-lawrence @plyerice27 @thedragonsaunt @sapphirecobalt-1 @a-little-unsteddie @i-must-potato @danili666 @carlyv @rozzieroos @wonderland-girl143-blog @itsall-taken @justforthedead89 @emly03 @aizawa-emma @yikes-a-bee @redfreckledwolf @thesuninyaface @bookbinderbitch @archermightbegay @littlewildflowerkitten @scheodingers-muppet @hallucinatedjosten @ellietheasexylibrarian @anne-bennett-cosplayer @cinnamon-mushroomabomination @bestwifehaver @xxfiction-is-my-realityxx @oldwitcheshat @nightmareglitter @tinyplanet95 @novelnovella @jonesn4coffee

[buckysgrace]

1. The Bones

Chapter One of Every Little Thing.

Gator Tillman x Fem!OC

Daphne Williams has slowly been filling the hole in her heart for the past three years. She poured herself into traveling, into meeting new interesting people and learning new tricks and habits. She’s finally moved on and found herself a caring fiancé who she’s sure her parents will adore. There’s only one person she could think of that would ruin her happiness; Gator Tillman.

CW: Implies/references underage smut. Oral sex, cheating.

Then

The air was warming up, the spring time air melting the snow and bringing in the flowers. Daphne liked flowers, she liked the sound of the birds and the critters that slowly came out from their hiding spots.

She was resting against a blanket, soft blades of grass still poking through as she recounted different shapes from the clouds that were floating in the blue sky. Her feet were bare, slightly dirty from the ground still being wet from the snow that had melted away last week. 

Gator’s arm brushed against hers every time he shifted in his spot. He had a harder time staying still, constantly moving and dragging her along to whatever he wanted to do. She didn’t mind. Gator was her best friend, she looked forward to seeing him the most. She spent more time with him than she did her own siblings, even her twin.

“Have you kissed anyone before?” Gator asked her suddenly, pausing their conversation over how excited they were for Easter break, “And your parents don’t count.” He said quickly as he looked over her, his brown eyes filled with curiosity. She liked his eyes. She thought he had the prettiest eyes she’d ever seen. They were downturned, surrounded by soft eyelashes that only enhanced the chestnut color. Sometimes they looked like they had a hint of green to them, sometimes they looked golden if the sun hit them just right. She felt like she could stare at them forever.

She’d grown increasingly obvious of her feelings the past few months, ever since he’d made her dance with him at one of the Christmas parties that was organized by the church. She had burned several different shades of red, her body tense and covered in sweat as she realized how close they were to one another. It was silly. Their parents had teased them about getting married their whole lives and now Daphne was sure she was falling in love with him. 

“No,” Daphne flushed as she relented, speaking the truth. She almost brought up their mock wedding her sister had forced them to do when she was six and he was eight, but she didn’t think that kiss counted either. It was barely a peck and both of them had spit and gagged over how gross it was at the time, “Have you?” She asked him shyly as she clasped her fingers over her stomach. She was sure that Gator would’ve already told her if he’d kissed somebody, but sometimes he surprised her.

“Maybe,” He grinned softly, his eyes filled with mischief as he watched her, “Do you want to learn?” He asked a little softer as he rolled onto his side. He rested his cheek on his palm, covering up the moles on the side of his neck. She liked to touch them sometimes. Sometimes she’d pretend to bite his neck, acting like she was a vampire because that’s what the spots reminded her of. 

“Isn’t it wrong if we kiss?” She asked in alarm, her blue eyes wide as she considered his words. She didn’t think you were allowed to kiss someone unless you had a boyfriend, but even then, she was sure her parents would prefer if she was married first. 

“Why would it be wrong?” Gator looked at her curiously, his eyebrows raising softly as his eyes moved across her features. She opened her mouth, trying to find the words to explain what had happened but was unable to do so. 

“I don’t know,” She responded shyly, “I don’t think I’m supposed to kiss boys yet.” She admitted at last as she twisted her fingers together over her stomach. Gator brought his hand over hers, linking their fingers together the same way that they did when they’d pray. 

“You don’t have to tell anybody,” He said with a smile, “Besides, it would just be practice.” He said slowly as his finger brushed against her knuckles. She felt her heart hammering roughly in her chest, nearly making her sick with the anticipation she felt. She remembered her friend Daisy talking about her first kiss, how fun it had been. 

“Okay,” She said as she glanced towards his lips, thinking that they were really pretty and such a soft pink, “Just for practice.” She nodded, confirming his suggestion as she waited for him to move. She was too scared, too afraid that she would do something wrong.

////////////////////

She liked kissing Gator. 

Most of their free time was spent making out, whether it was at night when he’d sneak into her room when their parents were sleeping or after school when they’d feign doing something important and sneak off to the creek instead.

His lips were soft and smooth and he always tasted of fruit when she’d lick at his tongue. He liked kissing that way, said that was how big kids kissed. She wanted to please him, to kiss him better than any other girl ever would. 

“You’re going into high school soon,” Daphne pouted her lips out as she rested her hands against Gator’s knees, enjoying the feeling of his skin against her own, “You’ll be too cool to hang out with me.” She told him solemnly as he petted at her red hair.

“Why would I be too cool for you?” He knitted his eyebrows together as he looked at her in confusion. He sat at the edge of the bank, still in his underwear as she floated in the water. She’d removed her clothes long ago, dipping into the water without anything on. She didn’t think there was anything wrong with it. They used to bathe together. Besides, her chest was still flat. There really wasn’t much of a difference between them, besides what rested between their legs. 

“Everyone is so much cooler in high school,” She told him quickly, “I want to go to high school with you. I’m smart enough.” She replied seriously, knowing that it was true. Her parents always ragged about how bright she was. 

“I don’t think that’s how it works,” Gator responded as his eyes danced over the way her cheeks were becoming pink from being in the sun for too long, “We’ll still be friends.” He promised her as he brushed his thumb against her sunburnt cheeks. 

“Do you promise?” She asked him seriously, worried that she would miss out on something. She already thought that he was so much cooler than her. She often fought to keep up with him, fearing that he would leave her behind. 

“Always,” He grinned as he wrapped his hands around her biceps and quickly pulled her up towards him. She squealed, giggling as she clambered on top of his lap, “What would I do without Daphne Sue?” He teased her with a rhyme, earning a giggle from her lips. 

Now

The air was hotter, more humid than what Daphne had grown used to in the past three years. Her hands felt awkward on the steering wheel, almost wrong as she drove down the long dirt road. She had the windows rolled down, enjoying the cool breeze that washed over them as the sun began to lower in the distance. She always liked summer better, thought it was better that the sun stayed up for so long. 

She hummed along to Dolly Parton on the CD, still amused with the way Hugh had huffed and fussed over her choice of music. She thought after being with him for almost a year that he would accept the genre of music that she enjoyed. 

“This is it?” Hugh questioned as he turned towards Daphne. His dark curls were dancing on top of his head, floating as the wind carried against him. She felt a grin forming on her lips, knowing that thus far he wasn’t impressed with North Dakota. He was used to the bumbling life in Marseille, the big port and pretty waters. She couldn’t lie; home looked fairly disappointing compared to where they had been.

“Yeah,” She smiled brightly as she moved to fix the scarf that she’d worn around her head today. She was nervous. He’d already spent the week getting to know her parents and siblings, but somehow meeting the Tillman’s for their usual Saturday dinner felt more intimidating, “They have a lot more land.” She stated before she pulled the keys from the ignition. 

“It smells.” Hugh responded as he stepped out of the car. He wrinkled his nose up, mirroring the look that her parents had been complaining about the past few days. She bumped his shoulder softly, hoping to erase his stink face before anyone saw it again. 

“It does not smell,” She laughed as she slowly walked with him to her parents truck, “You’re just not used to the country air.” She brushed him off, thinking of how bad his allergies had been since they’d arrived. He was constantly sniffling, his eyes puffy and nose sore. 

“It smells a bit,” Noelle admitted as she joined them. She was two years older than Daphne, the same age as Gator. Daphne often wondered why she didn’t hang around Gator more often, “Don’t lie to him.” Noelle smiled as she flicked her blonde hair over her shoulders. 

Daphne simply rolled her eyes, used to her sister’s teasing as they walked forward. In truth, Daphne’s heart was beating roughly out of her control. She desperately missed Gator, but was fearful to see him. She hadn’t enjoyed the way their relationship had ended. She swallowed stiffly, remembering that it wasn’t a relationship. 

“Daphne Sue,” Roy looked at her in surprise as she stepped into the doorway, “You’ve grown.” He smiled kindly as he pulled her into a hug, rubbing his hand between her shoulders. She smiled softly, feeling like Roy was a second father to her.

“It’s been some time,” She greeted, “Oh wow. The twins have gotten big.” She commented as she pulled away, thinking that they had just been toddlers when she’d left. The two girls smiled shyly before gripping each other’s hands and running away in a fit of giggles. Daphne smiled, thinking it wouldn’t take long to get to know them again.

“It’s good to see you,” Karen greeted, smiling brightly as she wrapped Daphne up tightly, “Oh my. Your mother told me the news. Is this him?” She smiled as she pulled away, grinning up towards Hugh.

“Yes,” Daphne felt her face flush from the attention on her, “This is Hugh.” She introduced as she hugged his arm, giving his bicep a soft squeeze. He was pleasant, as kind as always as he officially introduced himself.

She felt her eyes linger for a moment but was quickly reassured when she realized Gator wasn’t here. She hoped that he was working, that she could put off seeing him for a bit longer. 

She felt less nervous as time passed as she realized she really was in the clear from running into Gator again. She spent most of her time showing off her engagement ring, a square diamond that glistened no matter which direction she turned it. It was slightly too bulky, nothing like she had ever imagined herself wearing. It was still pretty and she was surprised at the amount that he had dropped on it. 

She lingered in the kitchen, spreading some cream cheese on a piece of salami before she wrapped it up in a pickle. She ate it, her eyes lingering against Hugh as he talked dramatically about one of his larger than life stories. She had mentioned to her family more than once to be patient, to not be rude when Hugh would stumble over his words. 

“Daphne,” Gator looked at her in surprise, his brown eyes widening as he searched over her features, “I didn’t know you were back.” She stared at him, in just as much shock as she swallowed roughly. She shivered at the way the unchewed food dipped roughly into her stomach.

His hair was slicked back, held into place as he rested two of his fingers into his belt loops. Her eyes traced over his work uniform, her mouth dry as she felt like she had suddenly been slapped. 

“I am,” She said awkwardly, wondering how you could spend your whole youth with someone and then turn into strangers, “Hi.” She replied slowly, her heart beating roughly as she looked at him. He looked as handsome as ever. She breathed in, wishing she could reach out and touch him. 

“Oh, don’t be modest,” Karen teased as she walked forward and held Daphne’s hand out dramatically, “Look at that rock she got.” Daphne felt horrified, her hand limp as Karen shook it about. Her diamond gleamed in the sun, shining brightly. 

“You’re married?” Gator said slowly as he pulled his eyes away from the ring, looking at her stunned as he took a step back. She paused, feeling her mouth was dry and scratchy. She wondered what he thought, if he was jealous. She doubted it. 

“Engaged,” She squeaked out softly as she glanced over her shoulder to see where Hugh was lingering. She spotted him near Oliver and August, his eyebrows knitted tightly together as if he was confused over what they were speaking of, “That’s Hugh, my fiancé .” 

“Oh,” Gator looked at her stunned for a second as he shook his head so lightly that she almost missed it, “No one ever mentioned that.” He said a second later, like he was trying to imply that it must not be something special. She clasped one hand over the other, hiding her ring away. 

“It was a surprise,” Daphne said softly as she began to pick at her nails, “I think they really enjoy him though.” She replied, knowing that it wouldn’t take too much longer for everyone to adapt to Hugh. He was too kind, too funny not to like him. 

“He a foreigner or somethin’?” Gator asked slowly as he kicked one leg out and rested his weight on the other. She watched the way he fiddled with the loops on his pants, looking irritated suddenly. 

“He’s French,” Daphne confirmed, “I met him last August.” She told him as she looked over her shoulder again, thinking of the funny way that Hugh had asked her out. 

“You changed your hair,” He said softly as he took a step forward. His fingertips brushed across her breasts, causing her breath to catch as she stared up at him. She didn’t pay attention to the way he twisted the ends of her hair around his fingers. She didn’t respond, thinking of how Hugh hadn’t even noticed that she’d added balayage to her hair. Gator did. He always noticed when she changed things, “I like it. You look pretty, like always.”

“The food’s ready,” Oliver interjected as he walked into the room and linked his arm with Daphne’s. He tugged her away, her feet dragging as he quickly pulled her out of the room, “Why are you talking to him?” He mumbled underneath his breath, looking irritated as his blue eyes met hers.

Oliver was born twelve minutes before Daphne, but still acted like he was wise beyond his years. And despite being fraternal twins, Daphne didn’t think they could look anymore alike. They shared the same narrow, bony shoulders and slender body. They even had a mole in the same place on their stomach, above their belly button and just a bit to the right.

Daphne had hated her early years of high school as no matter how much makeup she wore or how pink her dresses got people would still mistake her for a boy. They constantly asked her if she was confused because everyone swore up and down she was Oliver’s twin brother. It finally stopped the summer of her Junior year of school when her hips widened and her breasts swelled. She had been so proud, but someone else had enjoyed her body just as well. 

“He’s an old friend,” Daphne defended herself, feeling her face heat up at Oliver’s accusation. She fought everything within herself to turn and glance back at where she’d left Gator, “You just don’t like him.” She protested, trying to keep herself from feeling too exposed as they walked towards the large dining table. Oliver snorted as he shook his head.

“That’s got nothing to do with it,” He told her quickly as he dropped their arms, “He’s trouble. You’ve been gone for too long to even realize what’s happened.” She blinked slowly, feeling like she was being lured into new information. Gator had run into trouble before, but she figured it would be long behind him with his new position. 

“Come sit,” Ruby, their mother, nudged them quickly as she put a bowl of potato salad on the table, “Everything is ready, come on.” She urged them forward as she took her place at the table. Daphne paused, watching as people situated themselves in their normal spots.

“You gonna take your place?” Gator asked, approaching her from behind again. She flicked her eyes up, trying to ignore the way her stomach twisted in her gut. His fingertips lightly brushing against her hip, just enough to leave her body warm as she nodded her head in agreement. She waited for Hugh, before she took her normal spot at the table. It was always next to Gator, “I don’t think we’ve met.” He smiled kindly, politely as he leaned forward and held a hand out towards Hugh. 

“Hugh,” He introduced himself as he nodded towards Gator, “You are?” He furrowed his eyebrows in confusion, still looking like he was a little lost. Daphne reached underneath the table to give his knee a reassuring squeeze, hoping that he had grown more comfortable with her family the past few days. 

“That’s Gator,” Noelle introduced teasingly, inhaling deeply like she was speaking dreamily, “Daphne’s best friend. You know, we used to say they were going to get married.” She teased as she leaned forward and puckered her lips out towards Daphne. Daphne felt her eyes widen, her cheeks heat up. She had never mentioned Gator. She’d never wanted to open that wound and hurt all over again. 

“You couldn’t keep them apart,” Ruby nodded her head, “Oh but that’s in the past. We do love him though. It would’ve been fun to connect our families.” She muttered as she leaned over Gator to kiss the top of his forehead. Gator let out a soft laugh, although Daphne didn’t miss the way his eyes lingered in her direction. She gulped hard. 

“Oh,” Hugh looked at Daphne in confusion, his demeanor a little smaller as he nodded his head, “I understand.” He said slowly, looking like he didn’t understand why she would keep that from him. She swallowed harshly again, trying to keep her posture relaxed. 

“They’re just pulling your leg,” Daphne said quickly as she shook her head, “Noelle used to have a crush on Roy.” She sprouted out suddenly, desperate to get the attention off of her and Hugh. Noelle’s blue eyes widened in horror, her face turning so red that it reflected off of her blonde hair.

“Daphne Sue I can’t believe you right now!” She shouted shrilly as she wounded her tablecloth into a ball and threw it at Daphne’s face, “You’re still such a brat! A big baby!” She continued to scream, huffing like she was seconds away from jumping across the table and strangling Daphne. It wouldn’t have been their first fist that they’d gotten into.

“I’m not a baby,” Daphne replied in annoyance, tired of how everyone acted like she got some special treatment because she was the youngest. Even Oliver teased her about it, despite him being the same age as her, “You’re the one that’s acting immature.”

“Girls,” Bruce quickly cut them off, sending them both a look so sharp that had them straightening their shoulders and leaning back. He was a good father, with soft blonde hair and striking blue eyes. Daphne knew better than to argue with him. She’d only been spanked by him twice but she had witnessed the rough way he’d handled her older more rambunctious brother, August, “Can we pray or are you going to continue to disgrace God?”

They both muttered a yes sir before Daphne awkwardly shifted in her seat. She felt like she was a small child getting lectured again. She inhaled deeply, fighting to look towards Gator as she thought of how they used to get in trouble for staying up too late and sneaking in snacks when they wouldn’t. She felt a tingle rushing down her spine, wondering what kind of trouble they would’ve gotten into if their parents knew the other things that they’d done through their youth. 

Gator had been her first everything; friend, crush, lover and heartbreak. They’d been far too young when they experienced unknown sensations, feelings and experimented with one another. No one ever knew. They still didn’t know about how her and Gator would rut against one another until they’d make a mess in their pants, how he taught her how to suck his dick and how he enjoyed the way her thighs would lock around his head when he had his tongue buried deep inside of her pussy.

She swallowed her nerves, her lust as she stared at the palm that was resting up towards her. She watched the way Gator’s fingers twitched, wondering if he was just as anxious to feel her skin against his. She breathed in her, her heart hammering as she slowly pressed her hand against his own. She took Hugh’s a second later, trying to remember where she was.

She closed her eyes, trying to listen to the prayer but was unable to focus as her right arm stuttered alive from touching Gator’s hand. His hand was still calloused, his fingers still long and nimble as they connected to hers like a missing glove. She tried not to focus on the way he still rubbed his thumb against her skin in the same manner that he used to. 

Their hands lingered for a second too long when the prayer was over. She looked towards him, feeling hundreds of memories rush forward suddenly as she met his warm brown eyes again. She felt like she was a little girl again, doing whatever she could do to catch his attention so he’d look at her. They were still soft and they still made her knees weak and her lungs ache. 

She pulled away quickly, dragging her palm across her exposed thigh to try and wipe the memory of his skin against hers again. It was like her hand was betraying her, buzzing in anticipation as she desperately wanted to reach underneath the table and grip his hand again. She thought of the ways they used to play thumb war with one another, how they’d secretly touch and just brush their fingertips against one another’s. 

She sat there, trying to eat but unable to erase the jolts of electricity that traveled up her leg each time Gator’s knee brushed against her own. She swore he was doing it on purpose, kicking his feet out further and further just so he could bother her. 

“I have to go to the bathroom,” She leaned over to Hugh, distracting his conversation with Oliver, “I’ll be right back.” She promised him, giving his hand a soft squeeze before she excused herself upstairs.

She knew the layout of the house like the back of her hand. She closed her eyes for a moment, breathing in the familiar scent of the house before she pushed the bathroom door open. She began to shut it, only to be met with a pair of brown eyes. She opened her mouth, but quickly fell silent as Gator barreled his way inside. 

“What are you doing?” She criticized as Gator shut the door behind him, locking them both in the bathroom. She stared at him in disbelief, fearing what anyone would think if they knew that they were in here alone. 

“What the fuck?” He looked at her in anger, his eyebrows knitted together as a trace of confusion laced over his features. She stumbled back a step, taken aback by his sudden outburst. 

“What?” She asked him in confusion, slightly alarmed as he took another step closer to her. She didn’t think he’d ever hurt her, but this was a new wave of anger that she’d never seen before. 

“Three years ago you said you were going on a missionary trip,” He said in disbelief as he watched her, “You said you’d be back within a week and then you never came back. You stopped answering my calls, my texts. You went silent on social media. I thought you were dead.”

“I was figuring things out.” She said slowly, her eyes wide as she turned away from him out of guilt. Shame. She felt a mixture of all of it. She didn’t regret leaving. She wouldn’t be where she was now if she hadn’t left. 

“You mean you were whoring around with that guy?” Gator’s eyebrows knitted together, “Seriously. What do you see in him ?” He spit out, sounding even more upset as he questioned her sharply. She felt a flush settle over her from his words. 

“I’m not whoring around,” She said in horror as she felt her eyes widening, “He’s my fiancé .” She told him quickly, feeling like it was ridiculous for her to be labeled in such a way. 

“So you’re fucking him?” Gator asked as he propped his hand up against the counter, leaning against his lazily as he watched her. She rolled her shoulders back, thinking of the best way to avoid answering that question. She hadn’t had sex with Hugh yet, she hadn’t even let him touch her in such a manner. She wanted to do it the right way. 

“That’s none of your business,” She replied hotly, “How dare you accuse me of doing that sort of thing.” She told him quickly, feeling angered at his accusation. She knew him better than most, heard straight from his lips of the other girls that he had been with. 

“Oh,” He looked at her amused as he tilted his head, “You’re not fucking him. How come?” He asked, suddenly moving closer to her. She felt trapped suddenly as her back hit the wall. Her heart hammered roughly inside of her chest, but not from fear. She melted underneath his gaze, her eyes lingering in his pretty brown ones for just a second too long. 

“Gator,” She warned softly as she put a finger up to his chest to stop his movements, “Don’t do anything. He’s really nice. He’s good to me.” She whispered softly, feeling like she was fibbing. She wasn’t in any sense. Hugh was good, he was nice. She suddenly wished that he wasn’t, that he could be evil and Gator might swoop her up to save her. She gulped that dream down, as she remembered why she’d left in the first place. 

“You want a good man?” Gator asked as he looked down at her, his eyes flashing as he lightly dug his thumb into her cheek. She suddenly felt like it was hard to breathe. Gator wasn’t that much taller than her, the top of her head resting just underneath his bottom lip. Still, she peered up at him as the air between their bodies grew warm.

“Yes,” She answered softly, “What are you doing?” She felt her eyes growing wide as Gator slowly lowered himself onto her knees in front of him. She held her breath, feeling like time had frozen as she held eye contact with him. She felt like she was being swallowed whole, her body warming as she stared at him. 

She felt light headed as he slowly pushed her dress up to her hips, his eyes full of desire as he continued to look at her. Her heart was rattling against her chest, thumping so harshly that she feared it might explode. 

She found no protests to come forth as he pressed his lips against the birthmark on her left hip. She breathed in deeply, resting her head back against the wall as he peppered a series of kisses against her skin. She could feel her panties growing wet, her clit beginning to throb from anticipation. It had been so long since she’d been touched. 

“Reminding you how good I am to you,” He told her huskily as he rolled her panties down her thighs, “Tell me to stop. I’ll stop.” He mumbled as he dragged his lips against her skin, dipping down a little lower as he exposed her to himself. 

“Gator-,” She breathed in roughly, finding it was hard to catch her breath when he was looking at her in such a manner. She’d missed his eyes, missed how big and soft they were, “We can’t.” She said at last, thinking of the hazel eyes she’d be betraying. She gulped hard, filled with shame suddenly as she remembered he was only downstairs. 

“Do you want me to stop?” Gator asked her seriously, blinking slowly as he watched her with parted lips. She thought of how good his lips always felt around her, how he always knew the right places to press his tongue against. She shook her head softly, “Do you want me to keep going then?” He asked again, his lips curling up into a smirk.

“Yeah,” She breathed out softly, all too familiar with how Gator could be if she didn’t answer him, “I want you.” She told him honestly, not caring about the guilt or shame at the moment. All she could focus on was the throbbing between her legs and how he looked all too desperate to sink his teeth into her.

He hummed in response, looking quite proud of her answer as he kissed the same area of her skin again. She closed her eyes softly, enjoying the way he slowly flicked his tongue across her skin before he nipped at the area.

She gasped, her nipples growing hard against her bra as he dragged his tongue lower and lower. Her clit jolted in anticipation as he spread her thighs a little further, letting his lips press against the area above her pussy. She trembled suddenly as his large hands squeezed the back of her thighs. 

She felt her body vibrate as his tongue languidly stroked across her wet folds. Her head fell back against the wall as a moan slipped free. She fought the urge to move her fingers into his thick hair, to ruin how it was styled by dragging him closer to her pussy.

He moved his tongue slowly, like he was savoring the taste of her as he sucked on her folds slowly. She pressed her hips out a little closer, trying to fight the urge to rub up against his mouth. He groaned in response as he dug his fingertips into her flesh, sounding just as desperate to have her. 

She couldn’t find the words to speak, to utter as he flicked his tongue slowly through her folds then teased at her clit. He circled the tip of his tongue against her clit, flicking it softly as her body jolted against the sensation. She fought to keep from crying out, her body relishing the feeling of his tongue against her once again.

Her body felt too hot, too warm as his groans vibrated against her skin. She let out a shaky breath, her lips parting widely as she rocked forward against his tongue. She hadn’t felt this good in a long time. Her fingers never seemed as good as his own and nothing felt as good as  his tongue against her cunt.

He moved his tongue down further, circling the tip of it against her neglected hole. She shuddered at the sensation, biting down on her lip harshly as the pleasure spread through her body. She let out a broken moan as he curled his tongue inside of her, licking away the slick from her pussy. 

He groaned, flicking his tongue against her like a starving man as he inhaled her taste. She felt her eyebrows knitting tightly together as she pressed her palm lightly against the top of his head, careful not to mess up his slicked back strands. 

He brought her closer, clawing at her flesh as he licked and prodded at her cunt. His nose pressed against her clit, digging into the sensitive bud as he lapped his tongue against her fluttering walls. She cried out, gripping the back of her head as she rocked her body against his mouth. 

His groans came out muffled and broken, his breath hot as he tickled his tongue against her hole. She could feel the waves of pleasure building inside of her, tickling at her spine as she pressed her fingers harder against the back of his head. 

“Gator,” She whimpered as she moved her hips up sporadically, doing her best to silence her whines as his tongue flicked in and out of her fluttering hole. His nose pressed down roughly on her clit, rocking her movements forward as the pleasure shot clear down to her toes, “Jesus.” She bit down harshly on her bottom lip, 

She rolled her hips up against his mouth one last time before she stalled, her body shaking as she clamped down around his tongue. Her mind was buzzing, full of pleasure as he squeezed so harshly at her thighs that she feared he’d leave bruises.

“Fuck,” He moaned loudly against her cunt, groaning deeply as he licked away her cum from her cunt. Her thighs shook as he greedily licked at her, sucking softly as he swirled his tongue around her folds, “You taste so good. Can’t believe it’s been so long.” He inhaled deeply, like he was speaking more to himself.

She yelped as the sudden sensation of being pulled down with him, her knees hitting against the floor so harshly that sparks of pain traveled up her knees. She opened her mouth to protest, but was quickly silenced as Gator’s lips connected with hers. 

She melted against his mouth, moving her lips against his slick ones rapidly as she recounted the taste of him. Her body was vibrating, flying as his tongue slid inside of her lips and lapped against her own tongue. They kissed sloppily, roughly as he licked the drool from her mouth. 

She moaned as she tasted herself on his tongue, a squeal dying in her chest as he roughly pulled her onto his lap. She moved her arms around his shoulders, squeezing tightly as he brought one of his hands up the curve of her ass. 

He roughly gripped her chin, squeezing as he pulled her away from his mouth. She gaped, her lips parting in surprise as she stared at the warm eyes she’d missed so desperately. He moved his fingertips from her chin, up to her bottom lip to before slinking his fingers against her teeth. He pulled on her teeth enough to make her jaw relax, his lips parting as he roughly spit into her mouth. 

She gasped, her insides twisting in surprise and pleasure as she felt his spit against her tongue. She paused, nearly letting it slip from her mouth, “Swallow it, bitch.” He replied huskily, his eyes flashing like he was challenging her. 

She knew that anyone else in their right mind would smack him for being so degrading, so disgusting. She didn’t. She could feel another moan forming as she rolled his spit around her tongue before she swallowed it slowly, ensuring that she kept eye contact with him.

He inhaled deeply, his eyes flashing as he cupped her ass in his free hand and squeezed harshly. Daphne leaned forward again, her nose brushing against his damp one as they exhaled the same breath. She had an urge to kiss him, to press him against the floor and free his hardened cock from his jeans. 

She paused her movements as her hand lingered above his obvious bulge. She lingered for a moment, enjoying the warmth that was floating between them as he slowly raised his hips up to meet her hand. She let her fingers brush against his zipper before she yanked it away, suddenly awake with what had just happened.

“I’ve gotta go,” She said quickly, her legs shaking as she stood. She could feel the guilt settling over her, the shame as she realized what she had just done. She’d spent three years doing whatever she could to forget him, and now she’d let him in with no fuss, “We can’t-, this shouldn’t have happened.” She said at last as she adjusted her dress over her thighs, then over her shoulders so nothing would be suspicious.

“Yeah?” Gator looked at her teasingly, his lips slightly swollen and still wet, “Why’s that?” He asked as he rose to meet her again. She breathed in deeply, glancing at the cloth material he had in his hand. She reached for him, giving him a silent look but he shook his head.

“I’m engaged,” She reminded him softly, “To someone that loves me. This was a sin, it was wrong.” She said at last as the guilt washed over her, feeling so suffocating that she may grow sick. Gator smirked as he held her panties up to his face, taking a deep inhale. She felt her body flush, her eyes widen as his actions.

“But do you love him?” Gator asked softly as he tilted his head while he pocketed her panties into his back pocket. She fumbled for a moment, trying to form the answer on her lips but struggling to do so from his actions, “I best keep these then, you know, for the memory.” He drew his eyes across her features for a quick second, a smirk still placed on his lips.

He turned and left as quickly as he had entered, leaving her with an empty feeling inside of her chest. She gulped hard, feeling like she was finally able to breath as the door shut behind him. 

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for calling my dad homophobic?

I (18f) identify as an asexual queer girl, and i live with my parents. My dad (52m) as well as the rest of my family are all devout mormons. surprisingly, my mom (47f) took my coming out fairly well. there was a phase of her telling me we could fix it and a phase of her avoiding the situation altogether, but ultimately she’s grown a lot and has become a huge ally over the past two years since i came out to her.

my dad was a bit more of an issue. he took the coming out with a grain of salt, and has since admitted that he thought i was just trying to be rebellious, and he completely brushed me off when i told him i was leaving the church, telling me and i quote “i don’t care if you leave because i know you’ll come back”, which always irritated me but i brushed it off. he’s also gotten a lot better at being respectful and while he still makes tasteless jokes sometimes, he usually seems to respect my identity and love me for who i am.

flash forward to a few days ago. i get home from work and i end up chatting with my parents as i usually do. the conversation turns to sexuality and my dad mentions how accepting he and my mom are, and i raise my eyebrows and remind him how uncomfortable they were when i first came out. i wasn’t upset at this point, rather just poking holes in his story. i mentioned how awkward he was when i came out as asexual, and my mom (who has found herself to be a bit on the asexual spectrum as well) and i chuckle about it for a second, before my dad defends that he wasn’t weird about it.

i reminded him how he COMPLETELY brushed it off when i first told him, and he told me that it means im not gay. i asked what he meant at the time, and his response was that “i consider the definition of gay to be having sex with someone of the same gender”. my sister was in a serious committed relationship with a man at this point in time, but (being mormon) they hadn’t had sex, so i asked my dad if i had that same level of relationship with a woman, if he would consider it gay, and his response was no. i proceeded to ask him if i married a woman and spent the rest of my life with her, kissing and sharing a bed and everything, would he consider it gay? he kind of scoffed at me and said “well, if you’re sleeping in the same bed, then EVENTUALLY you’re going to have sex”. that really upset me at the time, but he had only just learned about asexuality, so i cut him a break.

flash forward to a few days ago, i bring this up and rather than shrug it off and cringe the way he and my mom had been at other behaviors of theirs, he scowled and began to defend himself. he said that it didn’t make any sense to him, and why should it matter if he thinks that? i pointed out that learning to respect other people even if you don’t understand them is important, and he got a bit huffy. i mentioned the not considering me gay thing, and asked if he still felt that way. i expected a no or some sort of explanation, but instead he said “well if you’re not having sex with another woman then you’re not doing anything wrong.”

that immediately made me upset, and i responded with “are you saying that being gay is wrong?” and my mom jumped in and accused me of twisting his words. i left the room and eventually he came in and gave an awkward apology without really saying anything just before he went to bed (one of those “im sorry you got upset because of what i said” apologies rather than an actual apology), and i reluctantly told him it was fine, but i still don’t feel fine about it. i feel like he’s invalidating my identity and pretending like he did nothing wrong, but i don’t want to confront him about it if i’m actually just making a big deal out of nothing. aita?

What are these acronyms?

[indigoraysoflight]

Hopes for TBOC’s marketing campaign

Let me start by saying that this is a marketing rant. I’m going to unfold glaring issues I’ve noticed with the marketing strategies being implemented so far. If it’s not your cup of tea, now is the time to scroll past this post. 

If you’re feeling more exhausted than usual in the fandom, you're having to defend Carol/Caryl online a LOT lately, or you’re finding yourself exercising the block/mute button a lot or finding the lack of Carol-focused promo quite disheartening – this may clarify a few things. I’m shedding some light on some marketing nuances that I‘ve noticed over the past few months that are snowballing into the landscape we see today. I'll try and do it in order so you can see the how some of these strategies connect with each other.  

Promotion without both leads

After the initial two weeks of promo during October, we didn't see a ton of Carol-focused promo. If you go back and look at promo content, news, articles, casting calls, teasers, etc., that followed, you’ll notice one person is largely missing from all of them. Melissa McBride’s name or Carol's pictures/ footage aren’t always found in articles/ news related to the show dubbed “The Book of Carol,” which is often just referred to as Daryl Dixon S2.  

Articles often say, "McBride is joining Daryl Dixon S2." Sometimes, she isn't even mentioned, which may not seem really big or just an error, but these little things compound into bigger issues, like fostering disrespect towards the female lead. We all know that it's their show together, so why not call it that? Why not feature her name in every instance? Why not speak about them equally?

94% of consumers are likely to be loyal to a brand that offers complete transparency.�� Why let speculation and disrespect continue when they can be neutralized by taking a stand?

Toxicity-inducing posts/narratives

What I mentioned above inevitably starts rumours or opens pathways for people to disrespect Carol or, worse, makes fans feel like they need to be “grateful for the crumbs that they’re getting,” which not only lowers expectations but perpetuates this tactic that leans into the bare minimum and festers toxicity.

Most importantly, it encourages narratives and speculation that she's a "small part of Daryl's story" or that she may not be around for the long haul. It opens the forum to speculate about Carol's fate and I don't have to explain why it's frustrating to read narratives like that.

It's especially problematic because the show is supposed to eventually make way for "their story". This makes TBOC's core audience feel like they’re waiting for crumbs or encourages infighting in the fandom. It's causing strain on people's mental health, and so many are hanging on by a thread. This toxicity makes fans feel unsafe and uncomfortable in the space that is supposed to provide a safe haven. A space where they can share their love for their favourite characters/ship and build anticipation for their show. Which brings me to...

Positioning strategy

When TBOC promo strategy commenced, the fandom rejoiced because “to find home is to find each other” was established as the tagline and a positioning strategy which leaned into who Carol and Daryl are to each other. When I say "positioning strategy", I mean leaning into what makes the show unique. Now, sometimes, it can be incorporated more unethically when it pokes holes into the competitor's product/service/show, but In TBOC's case, they leaned into the biggest selling point of their show, which is Daryl and Carol's relationship, aka what Carylers have been asking for since S2 of the flagship show. Carylers are a great core audience to have because engagement online picks up quickly, with or without their help. 

There are two ways of looking at it – the first way is building on the hype until the promo circuit picks up, and the second way is not putting in a lot of effort because the fans are doing a lot of the legwork. Which one do you think is being implemented right now? They built hype for the first two weeks after Carol's cameo, but unfortunately, that wave crashed before they let fans do the amplifying for them. Which brings me to…

Placating instead of amplifying 

Carol’s pictures/ footage so far has been taken on set or promo stills from the flagship show used in tweets by the official accounts. We can all agree that seeing Melissa and Norman on set is lovely. But a lot of Carol solidarity posts drop because of some inflammatory comment/post/article that pissed Carol/Caryl fans off. Take this, for example: 

There are multiple instances of this. Many set pictures/ promo related content drops around the time there is discomfort amongst Caryl/Carol fans. When you're placating fans because they're pissed, you're trying to neutralize a negative feeling, so the anticipation doesn't build as sustainably and leaves people wanting more. Happiness helps people connect and share content quickly. Positive content spreads faster on social media than any other type of content.² Pictures used to placate fans don’t have the same effect if they amplified the hype for the sake of it. When you amplify a character or ship to build on the hype, it capitalizes on people's positive feelings like excitement and happiness and builds anticipation quicker. Like this:

Carol deserves more than being promoted only when the toxicity gets so bad that fans start to take mental health breaks or think of leaving altogether. Now we all know that the promo circuit hasn’t officially kicked off yet, so I am hoping that these things change when it begins. This is what I want to see:

Equal promotion – I’d love to see Daryl and Carol featured equally when they promote the Caryl show. Give us all the posters featuring both of them and map out their journey towards each other in the posters and their promo. Daryl and Carol should be featured on equal ground, with no doubt left about both of them being the leads of their show. 

Or, as my friend @kryptoniancape said in our podcast, “The posters need to be so in your face that you have no choice but to accept it, or you can’t deny it anymore.” Daryl and Carol have waited long enough for their story to continue. They deserve a compelling story, but most importantly, they deserve a robust marketing campaign that creates buzz for that story and respects both leads equally. 

Build hype. Build angst – Build hype for Carol’s return. Build the angst with Daryl’s return. Their ship has a robust fan engagement on socials which is a goldmine for any show. The marketing campaign practically writes itself here. 

The Carol-focused promo hopefully leans into her marketability as a timid housewife and a survivour to one of the most formidable women on the show. Carol travelling across continents against all odds for Daryl is a huge defining trait of her character. Daryl’s character is known for his love and loyalty to Carol and his family. His longing for her and his unwavering need to protect her are defining traits of his character.

S1 established that he wants to go home, but he feels “stuck” (why? I don’t know). The angst needs to be focused on Daryl’s need to get back home to Carol, the kids, and the rest of his family. Trying to lean into Daryl’s “indecisiveness” because of people he’s known for a short period of time, IMHO undermines his character development. Especially because S2 is focusing on Carol’s side of the story. They both need to be on the same page even though they’re far apart. I don’t know how they will achieve that, but I speak for many when I say most Carylers are waiting for the story to just be about them. 

Leaning into ship baiting to manufacture tension is neither cute nor compelling. Quite frankly, I'm tired of it, especially because Carol and Daryl can build tension with a single look. It's not like this show needs more angst (especially, manufactured angst) than it's going to get with these two trying to find each other.

Building Carol’s and Daryl’s authority (individually and together) – This means tweet threads with memorable moments, articles that validate their characters individually and their ship and its potential, video compilations of their moments together, hyping fanart/fan edits that feature Caryl. The whole enchilada. There are creators sharing their work in this space every day. Take your pick and support them.

I think we can all agree that both Carol and Daryl deserve equal promo; their ship deserves validation, and Carol deserves respect. If you don't resonate with what I said here, no hard feelings, I respect your perspective. If you do resonate with what I said here, I hope it helps somehow. Thanks for taking the time to read this. So long story short.

Nobody wants to see toxic shit like this:

We want to see more of this: 

My last wish for you, dear Caryler, is that you find a safe space where you can talk about the things you love. Take mental health breaks if necessary. Remember that any show related content that you see online is placed there strategically (from a marketing perspective) to leverage the audience or boost viewership. If it doesn't make you happy or bring you hope, or feel good for your mental health – refocus your attention to what does make you happy. Starve the content that doesn't deserve your attention, feed the content that brings you joy.

My askbox is open if you need to chat. ❤️

___

Sources:

1. Unethical Marketing Destroys Customer Experience And Brand Reputation, Forbes.com, Accessed 8 March, 2024

2. The Ultimate Guide to Emotional Marketing, Hubspot.com, Accessed 8 March, 2024

[onceuponastory]

survival tactics - the winter soldier x reader

Part Four of my Ghost Story AU - Find the Series Masterlist here.

Plot: When their worst nightmare comes true, Y/N and Bucky try to make it out alive. Pairing: The Winter Soldier/Bucky Barnes x Female!Reader Warnings: Mentions of death, dead bodies, choking, blood, violence, threats, guns, knives, and shooting. Nothing too graphic/gory, but this chapter is definitely more violent than the others, so please use your own discretion! Also mentions of the abuse, manipulation and trauma Bucky faced while under HYDRA’s control. And HYDRA agents being the creepy assholes they are. As always, if I miss any triggers, please let me know. Notes: We’ve reached part four already! Thank you again for all loving this story so much. I hope you like this chapter. Not beta’d, so any mistakes are my own.

1945

He awakens strapped to a table. He can feel things poking and prodding at him, but is too groggy to tell who or what they are. Faces stare down at him, most of them too blurry for him to recognise.

“Sergeant Barnes.” A voice says. 

Who is Sergeant Barnes?

Hazy memories flash through his brain. Memories of flying. 

Or was it falling? 

His body throbs with a dull pain. He twitches, trying to break free, but someone or something holds him down. And somehow, he doesn’t fight it. 

More memories now. Of red crimson on the snow, seeping through it. A beautiful landscape, destroyed by violence. Why so much blood? 

There’s screaming. Screaming that he can’t recognise.

“He’s tense. I’m not sure if he’s stable enough for the procedure yet.”

“The procedure has already started.” The original voice corrects. Another face appears, looming out of the haze. “You are to be… the new fist of HYDRA. Our Winter Soldier.”

19-seventy something.

He’s running. He doesn’t know where he’s going, or how long he’s been running for. He just needs to get away. Away from the base, from all the people touching him, of the pain. He weaves through the trees, a tactic he learnt from years of being a super-powered assassin. His legs pound the frozen ground, and his heart and lungs burn. Despite the pain, he’s never felt so alive.

Just get away. Just run.

As he breaks through the trees, he stops. He can finally see the horizon, vast and never ending. He takes a breath. 

He’s alive.

He’s here.

He’s free.

But as he takes a step forward, something hits him in the leg, and he falls to the ground, landing in the snow. Russian expletives fill the air, and he hisses in pain. Yet, the adrenaline in his veins keeps him going, another burst of energy causing him to rise once more. He steps forward, still hissing in pain. He only makes it a few more steps before being hit in his other leg. He looks down at the bullet hole in his legs, at the blood flowing out of the wounds. Again, crimson seeps into the snow.

They’ve found him again.

Before he can try to get up, or even to crawl forward, two muscular arms grab him, hauling him up. He tries to struggle, but it’s futile. Despite how much he wants to deny it, his wounds have weakened him. And so, he gives up the fight. 

Yet, as he’s loaded back into a van, ready to be taken back to base, one thought remains: He will get out of here. One way or another.

Present Day

Now, as he watches the HYDRA agent, Bucky knows he should’ve known you can never truly outrun your demons. Especially when they’re as all reaching as HYDRA. The man walks around the room, staring at both with a smirk. “Now, we can do this the easy way, or the hard way.”

“Y/N. Run.” Bucky hisses. He knows it’s futile, but there’s still a little hope that she’ll be able to flee there. Y/N tries to run, but he grabs her before she can escape.

“I see you’ve brought a new plaything, Soldat. How generous.” The man shoves her against the wall, and Y/N cries out in pain. The sound makes Bucky even angrier. He tries to stand up, forgetting how tightly he’s been bolted in. “She’ll do nicely. But what to do with her? We’ve been trying to replicate you, you know? Perhaps she can be your replacement.” Y/N squirms in his arms, trying to free herself. “Or maybe… I’ll keep her for myself, hm?”

“Stay away from her.” Bucky demands, his metal arm tensing, flexing against his restraints. The sound of metal grinding against metal fills the air. This whole time, he’s refused to let Y/N see his true self, the true strength and violence he’s capable of. But now, he has to use it. There’s no other choice. It’s for their survival.

So why is he so damn terrified?

“Remain in your cell until the others get here, and then there won’t be any problems.” That’s what they trained him to do. To be obedient and stay locked away for god knows how long. To be their warrior, their soldier, moulded and controlled. That was Bucky’s life for so long. When he escaped, he finally thought he had a chance for freedom, and to live a normal, happy life. To find love. To be Bucky Barnes again.

With Y/N, he found that. Someone to care for him and love him, despite everything. Someone he can laugh with. She’s his entire world, his reason for staying alive. The person he thinks of first thing in the morning and last thing at night. Losing her, losing their happiness scares him to death.

And he’s not letting HYDRA take her away from him, to destroy either of them and the new life they built together. This time, he won’t obey.

The guard looks young, nowhere near as experienced as the HYDRA agents and handlers he’s used to seeing. He’s cocky too, without the same maturity as the other agents. And that, thankfully, means that he won’t have been entrusted with the Winter Soldier’s control words. They have a chance to stop him. Just as long as he can get out of this fucking cell in time. He strains as hard as he can to break free, feeling the metal buckle under his grasp.

“I won’t let you touch him.” Y/N hisses, wriggling in his grasp and hitting the man in the head as hard as she can. “He’s not going anywhere with you.” In response, the man wraps his hands around her neck, squeezing. Y/N groans, clawing at the man’s wrists and kicking with all her might, desperate for survival. An intense rage burns within Bucky. 

“Such a feisty little thing. I can see why you like her, Soldat.”

“His name….” Y/N’s voice fills the room. Soft and strained. “Is Bucky.” Despite the love he feels for her using his real name, Bucky can see Y/N getting weaker and weaker by the moment. The rage intensifies, so hot and strong it consumes his entire being.

Just one more push.

Just hold on, Y/N. I’m coming to save you, just as you’ve saved me. 

“You know what’ll be fun? How about I cut your little girlfriend up… and make you watch?”

Bucky’s metal arm breaks through then, and he kicks the door hard. It bursts open within a second, and he storms out, right towards the HYDRA agent. In an instant, the hand tightly wrapped around Y/N’s neck is peeled off. She falls to the floor, taking in a deep breath of survival. “I told you to stay away from her.” Bucky hisses, his eyes darkening. “You’re not going to touch either of us again.” She’s never seen him like this before, so angry… so frightening. His entire face, once so full of laughter and smiles for her, is contorted by rage. It’s then she realises that this must be what he looked like as the Winter Soldier, and what HYDRA’s enemies saw before they took their last breath. 

The agent’s tough facade soon shatters as Bucky’s grasp on his arm tightens. He cries out in pain, an agonising scream the likes of which Y/N has never heard before. And she never wants to hear it again. As the agent’s body sinks down to the floor, Bucky grabs his gun. 

“See you and your friends in hell.” He hisses, before pulling the trigger.

As the man’s body slumps to the floor, Bucky crosses over to Y/N. In an instant, all the rage in his face is gone, replaced by concern as he checks over her. Already, strong, angry marks are already developing on her neck. Bucky’s jaw clenches angrily. “Scum. Bullets aren’t enough for them.”

However, all Y/N can do is stare at the body on the floor. Whether in horror or a morbid curiosity, she doesn’t know. “He’s dead.” She gasps. She and Bucky watch as a deep crimson seeps out, coating the floor. Just like it did on a cold winter’s day in 1945. “You killed him.” She whimpers. Her stomach churns, and she has to suppress the bile rising in her throat. Of course, she’s not stupid. She knows that this is what needs to be done to stop HYDRA, and they deserve far more than what Bucky gave them. But she’s never seen such a violent death before. Especially not one caused by Bucky.

She should’ve expected this, a voice in her head tells her. After all, all she’s heard since they got to this damn place is how violent Bucky is, the true extent of what he’s capable of. And she didn’t listen, instead believed that part of his life was over, that they were safe. That things were normal. How very wrong she was. But then again, as they grew closer, she never had any reason to doubt that Bucky - the man who listened intently to her family stories, whose eyes sparkle whenever they see her walking into his cell - was anything other than safe. 

And then the tears come, erupting from within as the reality of everything that’s just happened sets in. Immediately, Bucky pulls her close, wrapping his arms around her in a tight squeeze. She buries her face in his chest, inhaling his scent and shielding her eyes from the agent bleeding out next to them. For a moment, Y/N realises how nice it feels to be in Bucky’s arms, and how safe she feels in his tight grasp. He whispers reassuring words in her ear, telling her it’ll be okay in the hopes it soothes her. Even though he doesn’t know if it’ll be alright either. He holds her as she cries, letting her relax and find comfort in his arms. 

“Hey. Look at me.” Bucky orders, gently lifting her cheek up so she’s eye level with him. As she looks into the silvery blue eyes she knows so well, matching her breathing with his, Y/N slowly calms down. Surprisingly, Bucky’s not angry at her hysterical reaction. He’s more sorrowful, upset that she had to see something like that, and concerned for her wellbeing. “I’m sorry you had to see that. But I couldn’t let him hurt my girl.” The words slip out with no thought, and Y/N gasps.

“I’m your girl?” Of course, after being tortured and manipulated for so long, Bucky’s never really thought about his love life, and who he cares for enough to consider his girl. But Y/N has done so much for him, and he loves her so deeply that he knows with no doubt that, yes, she is his girl.

“Of course you are.” He gives her another squeeze, and she manages a small smile. Her eyes flicker down to his lips.

If this was a rom-com, or at least, if they weren’t being hunted by HYDRA agents and didn’t have a dead body bleeding out beside them, this is the part where they would kiss and go in the sunset together to live happily ever after. And that’s what Y/N wants. But life isn’t all sunshine and rainbows, especially not theirs. “Y/N.” Bucky whispers. “We have to go find the others. It’s not safe here.” Y/N nods, letting Bucky help her up and lead her towards the cell’s exit.

“How are you feeling, by the way?” She asks. Her voice is unsure, almost as if she thinks asking someone how they’re feeling when their abusers find them again is a stupid question. Bucky doesn’t think it’s a stupid question though. In fact, Y/N caring about him so much, and making sure that she’s alright even after what she’s been through is making him fall even deeper in love with her.

Honestly, he’s fucking terrified. For a moment, he thought he was finally safe from HYDRA. He feels like a complete idiot for even thinking they wouldn’t find him again. And even though he’ll fight tooth and nail to protect Y/N, to protect both of them, he’s terrified that they’re going to find them both, and then he’ll be taken back to the hell they kept him in for so long. But he’s refusing to show it and worry her even more. He has to stay strong, for both their sakes. He has to do what’s necessary to protect them both. He’ll have to deal with his feelings later, when this is all over, like he has done ever since he escaped their grasp. If they ever make it out of here, that is.

As they step out into the hallway, the hair on the back of Bucky’s neck stands up. It’s so… quiet. Too quiet. What was once a bustling hallway, full of guards, is now empty.

“How the hell do we get out of this place?” 

“I know. Come on.” Y/N beckons. Yet when they try to open the door, it’s locked, and Y/N’s attempts to unlock it don’t work. “They must be on lockdown. We’re stuck here.” Bucky can already sense the panic in her voice, and he squeezes her hand reassuringly.

“No, we’re not stuck here. We’ll find a way out. I promise.”

“What the hell is going on?!” Steve demands, bursting into the room. Maria and Nick glance up at them both, brows furrowed.

“Hello to you too, Rogers, Wilson.” Fury sighs. “It seems we’re under attack. We don’t know who from, or why, but-”

“It’s HYDRA.”

“We don’t know that, it’s-”

“It has to be! Bucky escaped and he and Y/N were terrified of him being found and brought back there. And we just sat around like sitting ducks.” He sighs, massaging his temples. “We should never have come here.”

“Rogers. This entire compound is under lockdown. Nobody gets in or out. We have agents already beginning to search the building. We'll find them.” Fury insists, but Steve and Sam aren’t convinced.

“They could be anywhere in this damn building, alone and vulnerable. And we’re not going to let them be taken.”

Meanwhile, Y/N and Bucky try to find their way out of the maze that is the compound. Y/N swears that they’ve gone down the same hallway at least five times, but she’s too nervous to even say anything. They’ve only encountered a few HYDRA agents on their way, but Bucky dispatched them all with ease. 

“I don’t like this,” she murmurs. “You’d think they would have sent more agents to take you back.”

“I know.” Bucky sighs. “They must be planning something. And that’s why we have to keep moving.” The further into the compound they go, the more nervous Y/N becomes. Her heart hasn’t stopped pounding from the moment the ‘guard’ entered the cell. All she wants to do is lie down and never get back up again. But she has to keep going and be strong. For both of them.

She registers Bucky squeezing her hand again, and it’s only then she realises that they’re still hand in hand. Of course, they have brushed their hands together before, but this is different. This is special, more intimate. “My girl.” Echoes in her mind, and something in her stomach flutters once more. In an ideal world, this is when she’d tell him the truth. That she thinks she’s falling in love with him. Of course, in an ideal world, they wouldn’t have been attacked by HYDRA either, but even then… Y/N’s not sure if she would’ve told him the truth. He’s been through so much already, even before all this. He doesn’t even know what his life is now that he’s escaped HYDRA, or what’s going to happen to him. Her admitting her feelings would destroy any progress he’s made, and force him to make a choice he may not even be ready for. That’s the last thing he needs.

“You okay? All things considered, that is.”

“Yeah.” She lies. “I just never realised how big this place is.” 

As the pair keep walking, the hallway soon splits in to two. “So. Which way?”

“I don’t know.” Bucky steps forward, looking around cautiously.

“Stay here. I’ll go check it out.”

“No! You can’t go. Not alone, not when they’re looking for you!” She insists. Bucky places a reassuring hand on her forearm. 

“I’ll be okay. If need be, I’ll end this on my own. I’ll be back soon. I promise.” And with one last reassuring squeeze, he’s gone.

She doesn’t know how long it’s been since Bucky left. She tried counting the minutes, but gave up after she reached ten. Nervously, she wrings her hands, trying to think of something that won’t make her panic. Bucky’s smart, he’s calculated. They trained him for moments like this. She knows that first hand. Would all his training really be enough to fight off however many HYDRA agents are swarming this place? But she can only think of one thing:

“Why did I let him go on his own?”

Suddenly, she hears footsteps. Relief floods her veins, and she sighs. It’s Bucky. He’s back, and he’s safe. 

“Checking the east perimeter now.” With those words, everything falls apart. That voice definitely isn’t Bucky, and it’s not Steve or Sam either. And Y/N definitely isn’t about to stick around and find out whose it is. She opens a door, diving into the room and closing the door behind her. 

The footsteps get louder and louder, and Y/N dives for cover under a table. She attempts to quieten her breathing, even wondering if HYDRA trains their agents to smell fear, or to notice the sound of panicked breathing or a raised heart rate. When the door opens, Y/N bites her tongue hard, trying to stop the frightened whimper that threatens to erupt. Where the hell is Bucky?

“Is somebody in here?”

Stay quiet.

Stay alive.

As the figure roams the room, Y/N huddles into herself, hoping it makes her invisible. Just like her grandma told her to do when she was too afraid of the monsters under her bed to sleep. “Wrap yourself up, nice and tight… and then the monsters can’t give you a fright.” Her words ring out, clear as day in Y/N’s mind. If only she could’ve known back then just how real the ghosts and monsters that she used to be so terrified of are. But this time, the monsters are so much more evil. 

And then, silence falls. For a moment, Y/N is relieved, hoping it means that the man has finally left and she can continue her search for Bucky. That is, however, until a voice sounds.

“Well, what do we have here?” She’s pulled harshly up then, the tight grasp on her arm making her yelp out in pain. A flash of silver glints in the light, almost at her throat. A knife. In an instant, she’s transported back to her grandmother’s living room, when she first saw Bucky. When she knew that to ensure her survival and avoid being on the other end of those knives, she had to say the right things.

And now, she has to do it all over again.

Bucky though, he was different. He was kind enough to let her go… albeit in his own way. She doesn’t have that advantage here. But she’ll be damned if she’s not going to try.

“Oh.” The man chuckles, closing the gap between them both. “I know who you are. We know all about you. You’re the Winter Soldier’s friend, aren’t you?” She stays silent, a million different exit plans swirling throughout her brain. “Now come on. Where is he?”

“I don’t know.” She finally speaks. It’s not a lie. She hasn’t seen him in god knows how long. Yet the man remains unconvinced. So he asks again. And again, Y/N repeats her answer.

“Come on. You really expect me to believe that?!” He hisses after still not getting his desired response. Before she can even attempt to convince him of the truth, he grins, one that sends a chill throughout her body. “Fine.” He pulls out the knife, bringing it closer to her. The cool metal runs along her skin, her nerves intensifying. He has her life in her hands. One wrong move, and she’s gone. But even then, she still wouldn’t give Bucky up. “If you won’t tell me… I’ll just have to make you.”

Quickly, Y/N shoves him. It’s not hard enough to do much damage, but it’s still enough to knock the man back slightly. She makes a break for the door, but he’s quicker than her. He grabs her, slamming her against the wall and leaving her dazed for a moment. “You can stop this, you know. Save yourself. Just tell me the truth.” She pants, glaring at him. 

“Did you not listen the first few times you asked me? I don’t know where he is. In fact, if he had any sense, he’d be gone, miles away from the risk of being taken again.” It hurts to say that, to think that Bucky would just throw her to the wolves like that, especially after everything they’ve shared. But honestly, she wouldn’t blame him if he ran. Above all else, Y/N wants Bucky to be safe. And she’d sacrifice herself to make sure of it. 

“You can’t stop us. We’ll find him.”

“Not if I can help it. I won’t let you destroy him again.” She hisses.

“You have a lot of fight in you, but we’ll break you eventually. We always do.” He insists. “You’ll be so broken you won’t even remember your name, let alone any of the times you spent with your friends or your family. Just like we did to him.” He’s just trying to scare her into a confession. She knows that. But fear is not the primary emotion she feels in that moment. In fact, she’s full of rage. The way he speaks about Bucky, laughing like the things they did to him and the way they destroyed his life means nothing, disgusts her. As if his trauma, and the things they made him do are just jokes to them. He’s just collateral damage, a pawn in their larger plan.

When she said Bucky would burn the world down to protect her, she didn’t realise that she’d do the exact same for him.

“Go to hell.” She spits in his face. He looks at her curiously for a moment, almost as if he’s impressed by her refusal to back down, and her attempts to fight back. But then, he smirks.

“You really shouldn’t have done that.” In an instant, the knife is back at her throat, almost cutting into her skin. “You’re in for a world of hurt, sweetheart. You really want to test me?” He smirks. The way he stares at her, leering at her as he calls her sweetheart, is enough to churn her stomach. “Do you know what they tell us in HYDRA?” He chuckles. “They say the easiest way to infiltrate someone is through their heart.” He moves the knife lower, pointing it at her chest. Y/N’s heart pounds, so loud she swears it could be heard in the room. “Because once you threaten the people they love… getting them to do what you want becomes so much easier.” He stares at her again, smirking. “So how much does the Winter Soldier care about you, hm? Do you think he cares enough to come running when I hurt you?” Y/N’s blood chills, yet she still scoffs, hoping he can’t see how much his words are affecting her. 

“She’s treated me with nothing but kindness since she found me here.” Bucky’s voice echoes in her mind. She can still picture his eyes, and the way they sparkle. How brightly he smiles whenever he sees her. How he broke out of his fucking cell to save her. The way he abandoned his fucking training and didn’t kill her. He does care about her, he does.

“Do it then. Strike through the heart. But you know what’s going to happen if you do kill me? The Winter Soldier is going to come after HYDRA. And he’ll come for you first.” She promises, hoping that the mere threat of a vengeful Bucky is enough to frighten the man. “And you know exactly what he’s capable of. How he can rip apart entire armies like they’re sheets of paper. Can you imagine what he’d do to you? Do you really want that?” The man pauses, and Y/N takes advantage of this to kick him hard in his shin. 

He grunts in pain, lunging for her, but she brings her arm up, striking him with her elbow. She has no idea which part of his face it connects with, but from the scream of pain that fills the air, she knows it must have hurt. Y/N makes another break for the door, but he grabs her hair, pulling her back. She cries out, a furious call of: “Let. Me. Go!” The mixture of fear, rage and pure adrenaline burns within her, a Molotov cocktail of sorts. With one final push, Y/N shoves the man as hard as she can. He stumbles backwards, falling in slow motion. He hits his head on the side corner of the same table she was hiding under and hits the floor with a thud.

And then the room falls silent once more. Y/N steps forward, warily. Despite how close she gets, the man still doesn’t move. Once she’s sure he’s quiet, she lets out an almighty sigh of relief. Grabbing the knife, she finally leaves the room. However, as she steps outside, the adrenaline wears off, and the reality of the situation hits. For a moment, her legs almost go, and she narrowly avoids collapsing in a heap on the floor. Her heart pounds, her head throbs and she just wants to go to sleep. 

But she has to keep moving, no matter what. Bucky would want her to. So, she takes a few more steps forward, until:

“Y/N? Y/N is that you?” A voice calls. And thankfully, this time it’s a voice she knows.

“Sam? Sam!” she calls, running into his arms. “I’ve never been so glad to see you.” She whimpers, almost breaking down in tears right there and then.

“Likewise.” He chuckles, giving her a squeeze. Almost as if he’s checking she’s real. Suddenly, he takes her in, and his eyes widen. “Are you okay?” 

She glances down, noticing the blood on her clothes. Oh god. He must have nicked her with the knife. The knife that’s still in her hand. It slips out of her grasp, clattering against the floor.

“S-Someone found me. Someone from HYDRA. He tried to take me too, b-but I pushed him and he fell. He hit his head. I don’t know if he’s dead or- “

“Hey, it’s alright. You did good. You stopped him.” He soothes, letting her calm down. And for the most part, it works. Until he asks: “Where’s Bucky?”

“I don’t know.” She sniffles. “He went to scope for more agents, but he hasn’t come back.”

“Hey, hey. It’s okay.” Sam soothes. “Steve and agents are out looking, too. I’m sure they’ll find him.” She nods, hoping to god that he’s right. “Come on. We should head back upstairs. At least the two of us are better than one.” She nods, and Sam leads her throughout the building. Even though she should feel reassured by Sam’s presence, and she appreciates his support, she feels anything but reassured. It’s still so quiet. Too quiet. 

After walking for a while, they round the corner, almost colliding with a figure. Immediately, they prepare themselves for another fight… until the figure holds up their hands in surrender. 

“It’s okay! It’s just me.” Steve gasps. For a moment, she’s relieved. Until she realises that he’s alone. Her heart sinks. Bucky’s still lost, god knows where in this fucking building. But who’s to say he’s even still in this place, that he hasn’t been dragged back by HYDRA? 

“We still have more places to check. It’s alright, we’ll find him.” Steve reassures, almost as if he read her mind. And all she can do is hope that he’s right.

The trio keeps moving, keeping a watchful eye out for Bucky. Suddenly, a door bursts open at the end of the hallway, banging against the wall, the sound reverberating through the air. Reflexively, Y/N jumps. A figure stalks into view. One the trio knows all too well.

“Bucky. Thank god.” She breathes a sigh of relief. Bucky just stands there, watching the three of them. When she attempts to step closer, Steve and Sam stop her. “Guys, what’s-”

But then, he speaks.

“Who the hell is Bucky?”

Please follow @onceuponastory-library​ and turn on notifications to be notified when I next post!

[tiagems]

Okay but no one is talking about the scene where Miguel sends Gwen back to her home dimension and I wanna bring it up

I wanna talk about how Gwen's story is blatantly a trans allegory, a story about coming out and being rejected by the people you thought loved you. She comes out unmasks herself to her dad and he continues to attempt to arrest her, going as far as to aim his gun at his own child.

This is what Gwen leaves behind, a father who would sooner shoot her than try to understand in a world that seems to view Spider-Woman in a mostly negative sight. She's alone there, with no allies, no family, no safe place. Miguel knows this. He was there. It's why he let her come to Nueva York in the first place.

And then after the chase and Miles escapes, and Gwen pushes his buttons because she's finally starting to see the damage that believing Miguel is doing and has done to her friend(and frankly, she's not just doing that, she also dares to question him, which we see Miguel just cannot handle in any capacity), Miguel turns on her. He belittles her, blames her for Miles getting away(both pinning blame on an easy target and discounting Miles' abilities, two spiders one swatter). And then he sends her back.

Miguel sends back a girl, a teenager, to a world where she has no one. Nothing. A world where her own father tried to shoot her. A world where she's in danger. Practically tying a pretty interdimensional bow on her and shipping her back to, for all he knows, a very dangerous and abusive situation. She could be arrested and locked up for gods know how long. She could get killed by her own father.

That was the moment that I really started disliking Miguel. He punished someone whose only crime was wanting to see and protect her friend. He sent her back to her father, who he himself had to stop before Gwen got arrested or worse. Granted, it ended up being a good thing because they worked things out and George quit the force, effectively saving himself(and poking holes in Miguel's "canon" because now there's no captain for Gwen to lose), but Miguel didn't know that.

That scene... it just bothers me a whole lot.

Side note, I think it's interesting that Miguel repeatedly has to tell everyone that he's a good guy, and the last time he says it is to a dead silent room of spider-people who just watched him send a teenage girl back to a bad situation because she dared to speak against him.

[elrielmoments]

Before I ask this I am 110% an Elriel fan. I will be genuinely upset if she goes anywhere but Elriel. Anyway:

I try and think of possible plots for ACOTAR 5, and sometimes it's ways that Elucien or Gwynriel can happen that will make sense. I have a a fear for ACOTAR 5/CC3, and that's time jump.

Stay with me. What if Azriel goes with Bryce to Midgard, helps her there quick, and returns to Pryanthian and 5+ years have gone by. I think this is possible because he is the one that owns Truth Teller, and we don't know how time works across the different worlds. Think about it, Nyx would have more to do than just baby, relationships can have progressed forward without it seeming rushed. This also leaves room for Elain slowly became interested in Lucien over the years without Az. What if Az comes back, Elain is with Lucien, and he finds comfort and love with Gwyn?

I don't think we're getting answers in CC3, but my question is, why insert Gwyn into the story? Why have her around in the bonus chapter?

I can poke holes in this, but it also works. Elain still makes her choice, troves can still be found, Az would hit another low to build up around. I'm not 100% sold on this, but it is a possibility.

What do you think?

What SJM said about ACOWAR and ACOFAS:

SJM said years ago that the upcoming couples for the spinoff books (ACOSF and ACOTAR 5) were foreshadowed in ACOWAR and ACOFAS, which clearly show and foreshadow Nessian and Elriel.

Legends that SJM is telling in the ACOTAR Series:

SJM said in 2015 that she is retelling Firebird Legend where a guy (Lucien) saves Vasilisa from Koschei and has three winged males (Rhysand, Cassian and Azriel) end up with three sisters (Feyre, Nesta and Elain).

Gwyn being in Azriel’s bonus chapter:

The reason why Gwyn was in Azriel’s bonus chapter was to hint at Gwyn being a Lightsinger (which is not a good thing). Lightsingers are described to be evil beings who lure you in. Azriel’s shadows danced with Gwyns breath because they were reacting to her power. Nesta reacted to Gwyn’s power in a similar way in ACOSF. SJM also had a pinterest board showing images of a water nymph from a legend that lures people in.

SJM’s Elriel Pinterest board:

SJM had a Pinterest board of images that resemble Elain and Azriel together that show retellings of Blodeuwedd legend (which makes sense for Elain and Azriel to end up together) as well as Sleeping Beauty (which also makes sense that Elain and Azriel end up together).

Some random thoughts:

Azriel and Elain have had insane chemistry since they first met and have feelings for each other that have only grown more and more strong throughout each book. I don’t think SJM would ignore 4 whole books, a novella and a bonus chapter of Elain and Azriel liking each other to pair them with other people. That doesn’t make sense and would be terrible writing.

When Feyre and Mor were in the cabin, Mor painted three winged males on the wall with three females all with similar hair (Feyre, Nesta and Elain).

There is a HUGE sequence of the number 3 throughout the entire series. 3 mountain peaks, 3 winged males, 3 sisters, 3 troves, 3 friends in each friend group etc.

The cauldron was questioned TWICE. Once by Feyre and once by Azriel in his bonus chapter. That was not stated for nothing.

Azriel didn’t care at all when Gwyn was taken into the blood rite with Nesta and Emerie. He simply only cared about finding and questioning Eris. However, when Elain was taken in ACOWAR, Azriel stopped at NOTHING to get her back. Even when Nesta told him that he would die, he didn’t care. He was going to get Elain back to safety no matter what and no one was going to talk him out of it. He was also the only one who noticed Elain was missing.

Elain is SEVERLY uncomfortable around Lucien and Lucien also doesn’t like being around Elain. Feyre even notes how Elain loses her boldness when Lucien is around and how Elain shrinks in on herself. Whereas, with Azriel, Elain is comfortable, happy and bold.

SJM also said it was obvious with who’s book is next. The only one that is obvious and the only one that makes sense is Elain and Azriel. Acomaf, Acowar, Acofas and Acosf are FULL of Elain and Azriel having feelings for each other and having romantic moments.

(If anyone wants to add anything in the comments please feel free too)

[moonofthedevil]

Steve struggled with words. Not in a way that he didn’t know what the big ones meant, or he didn’t know which words to use to get his point across. More in the way that people never really meant what they said.

He had grown up in a household filled with empty promises and false truths. Where words were used to manipulate, to paint a pretty picture to cover up the scratches and tears beneath. At events his parents would brag about how perfect he was, incredible grades, captain of the sports team, destined for an Ivy League college and an impressive career. Some of it was true but others were just his parents painting over his flaws.

Then, King Steve was created with constant attention and praise. The people at school would call him handsome, smart, funny, talented, the best basketball player on the team. But just like his parents, they never meant it. It wasn’t possible, they didn’t even know him. They were using their words to paint a better version of himself, one that they enjoyed looking at, one that benefited them. Each compliment was a new layer of paint, until his real self was constricted beneath them.

He had just gone with it, why would he try to break out from underneath it all if this version of himself was doing so well? So he let it happen, he let anyone who wanted to use him as their canvas, make him into whatever they wanted him to be. He even stopped poking small breathing holes for the scared little boy huddled up inside.

The little boy who just wanted to be liked was left alone to suffocate in the darkness.

Every so often, the paint would crack, dark shadows of struggle, sadness and fear would push through. Like when he turned up at school one morning, eyes glazed over and looking like he’d seen a ghost, or more accurately, a monster from another dimension. But that was just an empty space for people to layer their assumptions onto, another way to shape him to their will.

Then Nancy, the only person he thought wasn’t adding to the already thick layer of paint, called him bullshit. He believed she had been working to peel back the paint but it turns out she had just been painting little red hearts all over his body, ‘Like we’re in love.’

Then he met Dustin, a kid without a paintbrush in sight. The little shit had no problem telling Steve how it is. If Dustin wanted something he would ask for it, actually he would turn up to Steve’s house forcing him to give Dustin whatever he wanted. The point was, there was no hidden agenda with Dustin. He stuck to his word, if he said he was going to do something, then he would and he’d hold Steve to the same standards.

Each promise kept and sarcastic remark, chipped away at the paint. Steve still felt disconnected from his real self but the closer he got, the more comfort he felt.

It continued to get better when he met Robin. At first, it was mainly insults she threw his way, pointing out his obvious strike outs with girls and making fun of his hair. She still saw the ghosts of previous layers of paint that Dustin had helped get rid of.

The more she chipped away at the paint, the nicer she became. It was clear that she liked what was underneath. The teasing remarks didn’t go away but Steve liked it, he enjoyed the honesty and Robin never took it too far.

But he still found himself looking in the mirror with each new promise or compliment, checking that there were no new paint strokes.

By the time he met Eddie, he was down to the last few layers, stubborn and almost impossible to remove. Eddie had seen the ‘masterpiece’ that was King Steve and Steve assumed that when Eddie looked at him, he would still see that. Instead, once the upside down shit was out of the way and everyone was safe, Eddie had taken Steve’s hand in his and the two of them had scrubbed away at those last bits together.

They grew closer and nights soon became filled with Eddie licking and sucking the paint away from his skin. His nails scratching down Steve’s back clawing away at the most stubborn areas. The days were spent with baths, Eddie half clothed on the edge, tenderly washing Steve until the water was murky and doing it all again the next day.

It took time but eventually Steve stood in front of the mirror and he was clean. The little boy that had once been trapped, had grown up and was staring back at him with all his flaws on show.

Steve thought he was beautiful.

Then Eddie had taken his hands once again and whispered his love to him. Steve didn’t need to turn around to check the mirror. He knew, with complete certainty, that he would never have a single stroke of paint on his body, ever again.

[dragons-and-handcuffs]

Demon Maegor torturing light witch Lyra.

Lyra was sent by her coven to a town or a village which has become unholy grounds. The previous witch they sent has not returned. She was supposed to cleanse the place with her magic and purity. She didn't realize how bad the situation was until she reached there.

The entire place was filled with darkness and the only light there was Lyra. There was blood and people fucking. In the middle of it was Maegor and the previous witch that was sent was at his feet, naked and pleasuring herself. She has failed to cleanse the place and instead turned to the dark.

First Lyra demanded that Maegor leave the people and the place but instead got laughed at. She then tried to use her magic to fight back but he was too powerful. Maegor ordered his witch to capture Lyra.

The newly turned dark witch easily overpowered the light witch and presented her in front of Maegor. Maegor could sense Lyra's purity and power of light. The witch who was once Lyra's friend tore apart her white dress and got her naked.

Maegor love it when light witch glows when in the presence of darkness. He loves it even more when the light dims and fades away.

Lyra was dragged to the center of the town. She was begging and crying but also trying to fight back. Of course her power is of no match. Maegor was generous with the last witch, he fucked the light out of her. But this time he wants to send a message. He wants to torture Lyra and make an example of her.

She was tied with chains that had spikes, poking her skin and making her bleed. Her scream was heard by everyone within miles.

The dark witch kissed her as part of a spell which made her burn when touched, so no one can help her. Lyra couldn't even touch herself.

Maegor enjoyed her pain. It gives him pleasure. He fucked his dark witch as they both enjoyed Lyra's pain. Everyone in the town was watching her.

After hours of being tortured Maegor finally came to take away her purity. He told her every time she will cum her power of light will drain away and his darkness will consume her.

Maegor was huge and stretched her hole with his cock. Lyra was still in chains, bleeding and burning, especially now that Maegor is touching her. His hand print leaving burn marks on her. His cock marking her holes.

Lyra tried not to cum and save her power but it's impossible to do so when a demon is fucking you. She cried every time she cum, feeling her powers fading away.

Maegor fucked her continuously, filling her up with his cum, watching her glow of light slowing fading. His dark witch fucking herself and telling Lyra how this is a blessing.

Lyra prayed to the light but why will her gods help her when she is cumming for a demon. Maegor used her even after she passed out.

When Lyra woke up she was no longer in chains, but still naked and couldn't touch herself. There is not a little bit of light inside her and she felt empty. She felt like the only way to feel whole again is to get touched by Maegor.

And one thing for sure, she is never leaving her new master

[bell4lan]

Temptation pt 2 (😱)

Genre: Heavy angst, Smut

DNI: fujoshis, mlm/nblm fetishizers, non-mlm/nblm, trans fetishizers

CW: Riding, belly buldge, cheating, arguing/yelling, cursing, Zhongli sucks, zhongchi angst

Characters/Reader: Childe, Zhongli, Trans Male Reader, minor Hu Tao appearance

It had been 1 week since Childe came back to Liyue, and he was already suspicious of Zhongli. Zhongli had been acting weird. He was more clingy than usual, and he was constantly trying to get them to stay in. Childe thought that it was because he missed him and wanted to spend time together alone, but he wouldn't let him go outside at all. Zhongli has gone outside for work, but that's it. Every time Childe tried to leave Zhongli made up some excuse as to why he shouldn't. As much as he loved spending time with him, he wanted to see others too.

Childe was tired of staying in. He didn't care what Zhongli said, he was leaving. Zhongli wasn't there so it wasn't like he could stop him. Childe's plan was to roam around Liyue and visit the new places Zhongli mentioned in letters, and then visit Zhongli at work.

Yeah...work...

Zhongli wasn't at work. It wasn't like he was lying to Childe the other days, those days he really was at work. Right now though, he was with you. It had been a week since you guys had sex and he was super stressed from Childe being back. He needed a break, he needed you.

The day Childe came back, Zhongli vowed to himself that he wouldn't have sex with you anymore, but that obviously didn't work out. So here he was, watching you bounce on his dick.

You hadn't rode him before, so this experience was new for the both of you, but fuck did it feel amazing. His cock hit even deeper than it did in other positions, you swear you could see it poking against your stomach and you bounced.

Zhongli could feel even more of your insides as your hole enveloped his cock, he couldn't help but let out small moans as you fucked yourself on him. He watched as his cock bulged through your stomach every time he went back in. It was so hot, how could he ever let you go? There was no way Zhongli could break off what you two had.

Childe quickly got bored of walking around Liyue, so he decided to head off to Zhongli's work. He was a bit nervous to see how Zhongli would react to him being out, but he brushed it off.

He opened the door to the funeral parlor and only saw Hu Tao.

"Hey Hu Tao, where's Zhongli?" He asked while shutting the door.

"Zhongli? He requested the day off so he could be with you." She responded sounding a bit confused. Hu Tao was one of the only people that knew about Childe and Zhongli, only because she walked in on them kissing and teased them for days.

What? Zhongli wasn't here? Zhongli lied about where he was? Now Childe's suspicion grew 100x stronger. Zhongli has never lied about where he was, at least not before. What the fuck was up with him?

"O-oh, well do you have any idea where he could be?" Childe tried to not sound so disappointed, but he could tell from the look on Hu Tao's that it didn't work.

"No, sorry. I've been seeing him hang out with (Name) a lot recently. Maybe they're hanging out?" She responded with a guilty look on her face. She felt bad saying that, she didn't want Childe to get the right wrong idea.

Hu Tao's seriousness and gentle tone surprised Childe. Usually, she was this fiery girl making lowkey death threats trying to sell coffins, but right now she's acting friendly. Dare he say acting like an older sister.

"Okay, thank you Hu Tao." He said and quickly walked out. So Zhongli was with you. He had met you before, you were actually very kind. You were a pretty good fighter too, even without the use of your vision.

Even though Hu Tao never said for sure you two were together, he had a feeling that was the case.

'Is that why he's been acting so weird lately? Because he's been hanging out with (Name)?" That wouldn't make sense though, I know they're friends. Why would he act weird about it? What if he's- No. Zhongli wouldn't do that. He wouldn't cheat. (Name) wouldn't let that happen either, he's too kind. Wait, what if he didn't know Zhongli and I are together? We did keep it secret cause of the fatui. What if Zhongli never told (Name)? No, even if he didn't he wouldn't cheat....right?' Childe's internal conflict was making him even more confused. He had never thought of Zhongli as a potential cheater before, so why was he thinking about that possibility so much right now? And why did it feel more like his intuition telling him than an insecure thought?

Childe didn't know where to start looking for you two, so he just went home. He needed to clear his head, clear these stupid, insignificant thoughts.

A few hours passed, and Zhongli was home. He kicked off his shoes and put them aside, flattening out his clothes before Childe could see any wrinkles.

"Childe? I'm home." He announced. He heard some noises come from the kitchen and followed them. There he saw Childe...cooking? Childe never cooked, it was always Zhongli doing the cooking. That's how it was for them, Zhongli cooked and Childe cleaned.

"Welcome home Zhongli! I'm making your favorite meal." Childe said with a smile that Zhongli swears is not genuine. It seemed angry? Maybe even sinister, though that seemed to be taking it too far.

"Thank you my love, but why? I appreciate it, but you never cook." Zhongli placed his hands and Childe's waist and rested his chin on his shoulder. His deep voice and touch made Childe shiver, but he tried to not let himself get lost in Zhongli. Not after he lied.

He ignored his question and continued chopping vegetables for the meal. "Where were you today?" He asked, not even looking at Zhongli.

Zhongli's heart skipped a beat. There's no way Childe knew he wasn't at work, unless he left the house. "At work, love. Why?" Zhongli tried to sound as not guilty as possible, but he should've known lying to Childe wouldn't work. Childe was practically a human lie detector when he needed to be, and right now he could tell Zhongli was lying.

Childe's grip tightened on the knife as he kept chopping. "Don't lie to me Zhongli I'm not stupid." He snapped at him.

Zhongli froze, he had been caught. It seemed like Childe actually didn't know where he was, but knew for sure he wasn't at work. His harsh tone and now stone cold face was enough to make Zhongli very, very nervous. He had no clue what to say. He didn't know what excuse to come up with, so he told the truth.

"I was doing commissions with (Name)." Okay so it wasn't the whole truth, but he really was with you today so it wasn't a full lie.

It seemed as though this half lie didn't help as Childe's face contorted into a scowl. "Stop lying to me Zhongli." His voice was as cold as ice, he was over it. This was Zhongli's last chance to tell the truth.

Zhongli let go of Childe, not wanting him to feel his sweaty palms. "I am telling the truth Childe."

That's it. Childe slammed the knife down making Zhongli jump slightly. He was angry. No, beyond angry, he was fucking pissed.

He spun around and saw an almost scared looking Zhongli. "Why the hell are you lying to me Zhongli? What could you possibly have done today that you have to lie to me about it? Did you cheat?" He spat. The cheating accusation was nothing more than an accusation to Childe. He didn't believe Zhongli would cheat, but he didn't know what else would get Zhongli to tell the truth.

Childe saw the deer in headlights look on Zhongli's face and started shaking. "You...you actually cheated?" He asked as his scowl turned into a look of shock and he tried his hardest to make his voice not break. No, no this was a misunderstanding. Zhongli wouldn't- he wouldn't cheat.

But he wasn't denying it. He stood still, not knowing what to say. Tears welled up in Childe's eyes as he realized that he was right. He felt like an idiot for trying to convince himself Zhongli wouldn't cheat, when in reality he would, he did. He didn't think there was any truth to his accusation, or at least that's what he was telling himself. Deep down, he just didn't want to believe it.

"Why would you- why? Was it because I wasn't here? A-Am I not enough for you anymore? Why? Could you please tell me why." Childe's voice broke as his tears started falling. He felt absolutely pathetic, practically pleading to the man who cheated on him for an explanation.

"Because I'm selfish." Zhongli said trying to not cry too. Childe's sobs were heartbreaking to hear. All Zhongli wanted to do was hug him, tell him he's sorry, tell him he's the only one he wants, but he knew Childe wouldn't listen or care.

"That's a stupid fucking excuse Zhongli. Have you no self control? I was gone for work and you fucking CHEAT!?" Zhongli's answer made Childe's sadness turn into rage, his voice getting louder with each sentence.

"I'm so sorry Childe. I-I tried to stop I promise, b-but-"

"But WHAT Zhongli?!"

"I....I couldn't control myself..." Zhongli finally admitted. Childe scoffed and wiped away his tears that were still flowing out. He was stupid for falling for Zhongli, stupid for trusting him.

"Who was it?" He asked staring at the floor. He was far too angry to look at Zhongli.

"..." Zhongli was scared to reply. He didn't want Childe to be mad at you, it wasn't your fault, it was his.

"Who the fuck was it Zhongli?!" He snapped, slamming his hand on the kitchen counter.

Zhongli closed his eyes at the noise. "It was with (Name)." He hesitantly replied. Childe balled his hand up into a fist as he heard your name.

(Name). Of course it was fucking (Name). "Tell him to come over." He said, suddenly sounding very calm. Zhongli was anxious, why did he want you to come over? He wasn't going to do anything to you right?

He was going to tell you wasn't he. He was going to lose both of the people he adored in one evening.

"Childe...please-"

"I said invite him over, Zhongli." He said sternly. Zhongli stayed still and then nodded.

About 15 minutes later, a knock was heard at the door. Zhongli looked at Childe, expecting him to open the door, but he just glared at him. So he did it instead.

"Hi Zhongli! Is everything alright?" You asked seeing Zhongli's ghostly pale face.

"I-"

"Come in." Childe interrupted from the dining room. You looked at Zhongli with a confused look on your face, but all he did was move to the side so you could come in.

Zhongli looked terrified, which was something you weren't used to. You had recognized Childe's voice, perhaps he was threatening him? He was a fatui after all, but what would he want with you? And weren't him and Zhongli friends?

You walked in slowly, making your way to the dining room. You saw Childe sitting at the end of the dinner table looking absolutely livid.

"Sit." He commanded, and you obeyed. You didn't know why he was so angry, but you certainly didn't want to make it worse. Zhongli joined you two, sitting closer to Childe.

You three sat in silence, tension so thick it was suffocating. You were about to say something, but Childe beat you to it.

"How long have you been fucking Zhongli?" He asked, staring right at you with an almost murderous look in his eyes.

So that's what this is about? "Um...maybe a year? I-I don't understand why that's so important."

A year? A fucking year? Zhongli had been cheating on him for a year?! Childe didn't think it was possible for him to get even more upset than he was before, but that was quickly proven wrong. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes, trying to stop the tears from coming again.

"You've been cheating on me for a year?" He spoke softly, almost in a whisper. He was broken, Zhongli had broke him. He felt like puking, he felt like crying, he felt so so heartbroken.

Your eyes widened hearing his words. Cheating? They were together? They were together and Zhongli never told you? You just ruined a relationship without even knowing it. Realizing that made you feel nauseous, it made your heart hurt as you saw what your actions have done.

"Childe I-I'm so sorry! I didn't know, I swear I didn't know! I wouldn't have done anything with him if I had known. Zhongli what the fuck?!" You quickly turned to face Zhongli, desperately wanting an explanation. All Zhongli did was silently cry. He'd lost you both. You both hated him, and it was all his fault.

"I'm so sorry Childe." He said in a broken voice, staring at his lap completely ignoring you. Despite hating losing you, he cared about Childe more. He loved Childe, he didn't love you. With you it was lust, he just liked your body. Maybe at some point he confused it with love, but now he knew he never loved you. He loved Childe.

Childe wiped off his face and went to the bedroom, slamming the door shut. It was just you and Zhongli now. You stared at him before angrily getting up and walking to the front door.

"Fuck you Zhongli." You slammed the door just like Childe did and left Zhongli alone at the table. He started to weep into his hands. Your words stung his already wounded heart, but that didn't matter. What mattered was Childe. He didn't want to lose him, he didn't want to let him go. He thought it would be the other way around, that he'd mourn the loss of you instead of Childe. But it wasn't like that. He wanted Childe to love him again.

He had taken him for granted, and desperately wanted another chance. He wasn't going to treat Childe so badly, he wasn't going to cheat. He was going to treat Childe like the prince he is, but he doubt he'd give him another chance.

Zhongli wouldn't give himself another chance either.

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Zhongli hate club (only for this story I swear). I tried to make this as angsty as I could so hopefully I did a good job 😈😈😈 Sorry for making Hu Tao ooc I just didn't think her playful personality would fit

Just a heads up, I might edit this a bit more after posting

[taggedmemes]

SENTENCE MEME THE WOMBATS / FIX YOURSELF, NOT THE WORLD

spare me the drone of your conversation.

spare me my lack of sophistication.

i don't wanna sit around and just get high.

i'm all dressed up.

you walk in the room and my tongue gets tied.

it's such a heavenly sight.

i just hope i don't ruin this.

i just hope i don't ruin this, getting too fucked up to remember this.

you flip me upside down.

you take me out of my head.

i'm kind of getting into it.

you pull me out of my lows.

let's see where this shit goes.

i can't recall all the things you said.

i'm feeling pretty good about the two of us.

i've got a couple secrets.

dwelling on the past just kills the vibe.

one last slide down the rabbit hole.

there's still no room in paradise.

the kids aren't wrong.

i'm looking for a spark in the heart.

you can drag the years behind you, or you can let them go.

i see a tunnel at the end of the light.

i'm always a mess come the end of the night.

i'm forever locking myself in the glass of your rearview.

if you ever leave, i'm coming with you.

you know i'll do whatever you want me to.

i'll get out of bed.

i'm your reluctant optimist.

i'm stuck to the gum that's stuck on your shoe.

am i losing you in the dark?

no more breaking stuff.

no more acting up.

you only ever catch me out.

if you ever leave me, i'm coming with you.

you can scream like a banshee and still nothing comes.

i am ready for the high.

nothing works worse than the weekend fix.

i'm ready for the high life.

a kiss without a fist fight.

a bang without the dynamite.

i always think in extremes.

i should be pulling you close to me.

maybe generation x are the chosen ones.

they've got everything they need beneath their aching thumbs.

underneath the low there's a lower part.

no hotel guaranteed.

a professional learns from all their rookie moves.

there must be some method to the madness.

just one more smile and then i'll go.

this could be a holiday or an intersection where two roads fuse.

stop. i don't need to know.

fuck my sadness.

fuck our options.

fuck the life plan.

no more worry, i've killed it with both hands.

just give me something to light the fuse.

she was dreaming of her big break.

she constructed the right attitude.

the universe has got plans.

competition can dry you up.

people don't change people, time does.

we're all trying to get better.

we've all had quite enough of this pleasant displeasure.

i'd love to help you out.

i'd love to get us off this swing, this roundabout.

today i had a big idea.

there's no room for mistakes out here.

everybody wants to be the man.

everything i love is going to die.

keep your big mouth shut.

stop wasting my time.

icarus was my best friend.

i'm going to make him proud in the end.

there's no experimenting here.

no threesomes like we talked about when we were blacking out.

what a crazy pranged out year.

we spent most of it kissing teeth.

the moment starts to pass.

i start reverting back.

sell my spine to save my neck.

i'm starting to forget.

howl into the void again.

why don't you chop my tongue out and put my insides inside a jar.

you shake me up, you shake me down.

work's easy, but life's getting hard.

you don't speak for me.

could use some peer pressure.

you're so well put together.

tell me, sugar.

is there something i need to know?

pull the trigger.

pull me back from the edge.

pull me out of my head.

she is wildfire.

i could live in here forever.

let's find a drug to fix me.

guess i'm always blinded by the emperor's new clothes.

there's always something lurking down the rabbit hole.

in the back of your mind there's a crosshair.

don't wanna cause any trouble.

don't wanna poke the bear in the zoo.

drama becomes elastic then snaps back into place.

i saw your temperament running out the gate.

don't wanna stand in your way.

i'm pretty much worried about everything.

i worry that i'm worrying so much.

i worry too much.

multiples of three keep me warm, keep me stable.

superstition's a wasp at your picnic.

i'll say it again but without feeling.

i'll get what i think if i keep on thinking.

it's not paranoia if it's really there.

i'm not sure how much milk is enough milk.

bang my head against a wall.

i let the smallest of things ruin my day.

i'm the voicemail that you coulda shoulda checked sooner.

i'm the only obstruction in the way.

i don't wanna lose myself in someone else's game.

[layingeggs]

I think I actually feel disappointed by the ending of Okaeri Alice.

spoileys spoileys spoileys.

Okay yeh it's Mitani and Ren's ending. LOL Mitani and Ren's stories are literally just unfinished.

Yohei and Kei's stories I feel like you could poke holes in. Especially if you're not inclined to psychosexual transsexualism. 'eurgh what was that, they switched bodies but they're still male? where's my gender gend'.

(Of course, as all of us know, they did actually switch bodies and switch genders and switch biological sexes. It was very clearly a symbolic representation of transcending those boundaries. People who complain that it wasn't enough just aren't really looking.)

But Mitani and Ren? The last time we saw Mitani, if you don't count the final pages where really we're just seeing her from Yohei's perspective, she was literally retreating from the offer of transcending boundaries and instead retreating into her established toxic pattern of seeking comfort in the familiar.

Mitani has frequently displayed transmisogynistic lashing out and predation throughout this manga. Frankly, I was fully expecting her to just turn to exploiting a young trans man as a new coping mechanism! To hear that her and Ren are just doing well, and there's no further elaboration beyond that? They're just doing well.

Mitani explicitly has not yet worked through what it actually is about femininity that makes her feel restricted or inadequate. Ren hasn't actually worked through her gender feelings yet.

That scene where Kei tells Ren that she can still be a beautiful feminine girl even being tall and having small boobs. Was THAT supposed to be Ren working through her desire to live as a different gender? Just getting one brief compliment and then being happy as a girl again, was that it?

Honestly, I do feel it's Shuzo Oshimi revealing a bit of a weakness for writing a different perspective of questioning and exploring gender. He writes such incredible and profound narratives around camab gender variance. And he's good at writing cis women too! But he tries his hand at one "girl questioning if maybe she would actually prefer to be a boy" and just regurgitates the same shame and gradual acceptance of femininity.

Come on. This is weak. Kei got to actually transition. Let Ren transition too for pity's sake.

Further compounded by the fact that this is a disturbing consistent pattern across anime and manga. A lot of authors write storylines about 'young girls exploring possibility of being a boy', and there's a certain amount of genuineness there, right up until they write in the detransition narrative and the 'loving triumphant return to femininity'. It's horrible, I hate it.

Surely, surely, our beloved horrible weirdo Shuzo Oshimi wouldn't just play into a trope like that. And yet here we are.

The other thing that Shuzo Oshimi is excellent at is exploring abuse and trauma. So once more, it's not just that I'm mad that Ren never transitions, just sits on the fence and thinks about it. But also that there was a very obvious narrative branch there that could lead to Mitani abusing Ren and it just goes completely unexplored.

Again, I return again to that scene in the hospital room. Kei and Yohei coming to a mutual understanding of dysphoria and desire to heal from it. Realising that Mitani and Ren are there witnessing that change, and trying to extend it to them and welcome them in on it.

Only for Mitani to retreat and lean on Ren to comfort her. What about Ren's desire to work through her issues! If not to transition then at least to carve out a space away from restrictive patriarchy femininity!

Ren could have been there with Kei and Yohei. She could have gotten in on the breaking down and rebuilding of self visions that they had. But no, instead she has to be the big strong one for a neurotic cis girl who has repeatedly shown avoidance of introspecting more deeply on why she is so neurotic.

This is prime Shuzo Oshimi material. This is exactly the sort of thing that he writes. And all we get to follow it up is an epilogue saying that Mitani and Ren are doing okay?

I really just don't believe this story is supposed to end here. I think it's supposed to keep going. I think it was a mistake to end it here.