#and speaking of being 15 in 2010

[luckykiwiii101]

What I Will Be Manifesting This Week :

What I will be manifesting this week:

- Desired Body (Revised)

- Always Waking Up In The Void State Aware

- That my 3D always conforms in under 48 hours

What Will I Be Doing?

- Embodying the state of having my desires.

- Fulfilling myself in imagination whenever I think of my desires.

- Fulfill through visualisation and inner conversations because that is what feels most natural to me.

What Will I Manifest In The Void State?

- Desired Face & Body but with some finishing touches. (doll - like, kind of like Karen smith from mean girls)

- Desired Height (5’7)

- Desired hair (doll - like)

- Desired Name (so elegant and pretty!)

- Desired Personality

- Desired voice (singing & speaking)

- Desired Vibe (90s Supermodel)

- Desired house (so luxurious)

- Desired room (Barbie x Gossip Girl themed)

- Desired Wardrobe (Blair Waldorf type outfits)

- iPhone 15 Pro + Desired Phone Case

- New Desired Biological Dad + New cousins & aunties etc to match

- Revising that my parents got married in Paris

- Rich Family

- All my family members are happy and have everything they want

- Privacy

- Pretty School Interior & Exterior

- Desired School Uniform

- My best friends to live on the same road as me and to have everything they want.

- Perfect mental and physical health for all my loved ones.

- Desired Career to start early (Supermodel for when i’m 17)

- Perfect Posture

- Perfect Eyesight

- Perfect Culinary & Baking Skills

- Fluency in French & Dutch

- Piano Prodigy + being able to play desired songs on it

- Good at playing electric guitar

- Changing Appearance of my family members

- Revising my family’s names

- Always knowing what to say

- Family celebrates holidays like Christmas & Halloween

- Revising my memories to align with my dream life

- Photographic & audiographic memory

- Perfect grades

- Whenever I listen to a song, it feels like listening to it for the first time again.

- Desired Items

- Immune from embarrassment + Revising that any past embarrassing moments never happened

- Life feels like the early 2010’s again

- Life feels like a Gossip Girl Episode (You know I had to XoXo 💋)

- Life feels like a barbie movie (like princess charm school or smthg idk)

- Looking like desired songs

- Can Choose To feel hot or cold

- airport and plane processes to be always extremely fun and quick for my family, friends and I

- Teen Wolf & The Originals to be put back on Netflix

- Season 3 of One Of Us Is Lying to come out

- Some cute things for my pets

- Always know what my pets want

- My whole family to have good taste in fashion

- Go on nice holidays every year

- Materialise something instantly by affirming for it x3

- Kind, Respectful & Secular Family

- Disgusting Roadman fashion in London to be stopped (ew if u saw that shizz)

- Fashion to go back to the 90s and early 2000s

- People At School Don’t annoy me

- High Spice Tolerance

- Always Wake Up Feeling Fresh & Energised

- Never late to school

- Desired ear piercings

- Scary Insects never come near me (especially spiders AAAAH!!!)

- I appreciate all aspects of life

- Never abuse my manifesting abilities

- Everything i manifest manifests 10x better than how i imagined

- Basically revising my whole entire life top to bottom

+ much more personal things

Things I Will Be Manifesting For The World:

- World Peace in all realities

- No wars in all realities

- Palestine being free in all realities

- World healing

- Healed society

- Righteous justice system

- No corrupt leaders

- No corrupt governments etc

- Healthcare everywhere is free

- People are good people

- People treat eachother with respect and kindness

Guys, I will definitely go into more depth when i actually materialise all these and post my success story. + Will probably post some picture proof of materialistic things in my home and outfits etc but not my face or anything personal like that.

I wrote everything i’m going to manifest on here because I know i’m not going to be bothered to type it all out when i’m actually living my dream life in the 3D 💀

Share what you guys will be manifesting and stick to your new story so we can all post our successes together!!!

[namelessdumbass]

Ultimate Nameless Ghouls guide

Nobody asked for it, but why the hell not?! Warning: looooong text, silly descriptions, shit ton of links and silly collages (sorry, tumblr only allows 30 pictures per post)

Happy reading!

4 Papas, 5 eras, different cool looks. There were a lot of changes, loooooots of Ghouls, but it's not as compicated as it may seem. There are many ways to tell them apart: -by the way they are placed on stage -their alchemic symbols (check out my Meliora guide where i shed more light on this topic) -their height and body types -body language -their instruments -jewellery -date of the photo/video (mhm) Let's start from the very beginning!

Opus Eponymous era (October 23, 2010 - december 15, 2012)

(from left to right: Omega, Earth #1, Lake/Water #2, Alpha/Fire #1 in front and Air #1) There were only 5 Ghouls: Fire/Alpha, Quintessence/Omega, Chain/Water (later Lake), Earth #1 and Air #1. Since 2011, Ghouls were placed in certain areas on stage: Quintessence and Earth on Papa's right, Water in the middle, Air and Fire - on Papa's left.

Alpha aka Fire Ghoul #1

Lead guitar. Had fire sticker on his white-n-black Gibson RD. Skilled motherfucker. Taller than Papas, looked bigger in first 2 eras. Was a bit reserved in era 1, but became quite active and naughty in era 2. Has blue eyes, started to wear a ring in era 2 and got tattoos in era 3. If you see a ghoul who often shows a peace sign - that's Alpha :) Hangs out with Omega, River, Delta, Pebble and Mist on stage. Enjoys attention, quite popular among fans. Can speak Italian, has strong accent. Joined in october 2010, left in november 2016.

Omega aka Ether/Quintessence Ghoul #1

Rhythm guitar, black Gibson RD with Omega sticker. Tall, stompy, was quite confident from the very beginning, graceful hand movements (trust me, you won't confuse him with any other ghoul). Has cutest laugh. The Perfect Ghoul™. Has beautiful eyes, chunky silver rings, is the reason the Ghouls got their alchemic symbols. Papa III's favorite Ghoul, that's why he was always praised and his butt was always touched/smacked during Year Zero solo by Terzo :) Did interviews in era 2 (sometimes together with Alpha or Special Ghoul) and 3. Joined in october 2010, left in july 2016 :(

Chain aka Water Ghoul#1

Bass. Mysterious and metal AF, wore a chain as a belt and painted black bones on his hands, had Grucifix on metal necklace (which was later worn by Omega after Chain left). Was quite active and actually the shortest ghoul of era 1. Joined in october 2010, left in early 2011.

Earth Ghoul #1

Drums. Had no other specific name. Tall (same height as Omega), slim, has blue eyes. Despite being in Ghost for like 4 years, is soooo underrated. There's not much we know about him. The only earth ghoul of Ghost who did an interview (together with Alpha). Was simply amazing! Joined in october 2010, left in 2014.

Air Ghoul #1

Also had no specific name. Synthesizer, keyboard and keytar. The tallest ghoul (a bit taller than Omega), dark eyes. Modest, very calm, didn't move much. Loved showing horns and stared at fans sometimes. Had badass Mummy Dust solo . Joined in 2011, left in november 2016 Lake aka Water Ghoul #2

Bass. Joined in 2011 after Chain left. Middle height, dark eyes. Quite calm. Played two different guitars in era 1. Had cool black lenses in era 2, wore a ring sometimes. Also quite underrated. Fun fact: Remember Year Zero mv when Secondo flashes us? Well, it was this Water in Papa's chasuble, not Tobias :) Joined in 2011, left in 2014.

Infestissumam era (december 15th 2012 - June 3, 2015)

(from left to right: Earth #1, Omega, River, Air #1, Alpha) How are Ghouls placed on stage? Same way as in Opus era. Same Ghouls, different outfits and masks. Their alchemic symbols became more visible and ghouls opened up more on stage. There was only one change of the lineup: Lake left in 2014 and was replaced by River. River aka Water #3

Bass. Middle height, dark blue eyes. Was quite chaotic and weird onstage. Held his bass in a suggestive way, humped it sometimes. Interacted with Alpha a lot, was a bad influence. Definitely had fun on stage, enjoyed attention. See a ghoul with wide-legs-stance? Yeah, that's him! The tallest of the Water Ghouls. Joined in 2014, left in 2015 (before Meliora era began).

Meliora era (june 3, 2015 - september 30, 2017)

(from left to right: Omega, Pebble/Earth #2 behind him, Delta/Water #4, Air #1, Alpha) Placed on stage? Same way as in previous two eras. This is when a lot of changes happened. In 2015, Fire, Quintessence and Air Ghouls were the same, but Earth#1 and River left and Delta and Pebble were introduced.

Delta aka Water#4

Bass. A bit shorter than Papa III, cute, has blue eyes. No visible tattoos or rings. Skilled, filled in for Apha and Omega (and also played his guitar!) couple times for a few rituals and acoustic shows. Loved interacting with Alpha and Pebble on stage. Became Quintessence Ghoul in july 2016 when Omega left, played rhythm guitar. Joined in June 2015, left in november 2016.

Pebble aka Earth#2

Drums. Despite being the shortest and smolest in the band, played the shit out of drums. Was the most active Earth ghoul of Ghost. A show off. Loved interacting with fans. Played a brief solo before Stand by Him. Had a ring, his mask looked a little bit too big for him. Slim, light green eyes. Loved interacting with Alpha and Water. Joined in June 2015, left in november 2016.

In july 2016 Omega left Ghost, Delta took his place and Mist, the first Ghoulette of Ghost, played bass. Mist aka Water #5

Bass. Tiny, has blue eyes, a tattoo and ring on her finger. Cute as hell. Was quite calm and modest. Loved by fans. Her mask looked too big for her. Same could be said about the bass. Joined in september 2016, left a the end of Popestar tour in november 2016.

In 2017 all of the former ghouls and Mist left and the new pack of Ghouls was introduced. All of them (except for Mountain) were +- same heigh as Terzo, so identifying them isn't hard.

Ifrit aka Fire Ghoul #2

Lead guitar. Hyperactive, full of energy, jumps, spins and moves a lot on stage. Papa III's hype man. Loved interacting with fans, gestures a lot. The ghoul that can't stand still. Has blue eyes, no visible tattoos or rings. Ray of sunshine (no really, he's very sweet). Quite popular among fans. Loved interacting with Zephyr, Aether and Dewdrop. Joined in march 2017, left in september 2017

Aether aka Quintessence #3 aka Banana ghoul

Rhythm guitar. A bit taller than Ifrit and Papa III. Loves bananas. Has dark eyes, bracelets and a ring. No QE sticker on his guitar. Beefy, friendly. Also spins, dances and jumps a lot on stage. Was present in Terzo, Cardinal and Papa IV eras. Interacted with all of the Ghouls on stage. Was Cardinal's favorite Ghoul. Was bullied by Sodo, but also annoyed him too sometimes. He and Sodo had pre Cirice guitar battles. Did backing vocals in Prequelle and Impera (in 2022) era. Joined in march 2017, left in may 2023.

Dewdrop aka Sodo aka Water #6 aka Fire #3

Bass and lead guitar. Present in Papa III, Cardinal and Papa VI eras. A bit shorter than Papas and the rest of the ghouls. Slim. Very popular among fans. Stompy, was naughty in era 3, but became muuuuuuch worse later. Horny i would say and even more aggressive. Ghoul equivalent of chihuahua. Shows middle finger, throws picks when he's angry or annoyed by Aether. Was a Water ghoul in 2017, became a Fire Ghoul #3 in 2018 after Ifrit left. This is also a year when his fire Ghoul nature started to come out: Licked his guitar, picks, tried to lick Rain, Aether and bullied Cardinal. HORNY during Mummy Dust. Vapes on stage, interacts with fans, loves choking Rain. Once hurt his finger, didn't give a damn and continued playing guitar smearing blood all over it. Can also be a gentleman. Joined in march 2017 and is still in Ghost (as of may 2024).

Zephyr aka chAir Ghoul #2

Keyboard, synthesizer, keytar. Same height as Papa III, blue eyes. Quite active on stage, but can also be calm. Sits on chair a lot, but starts moving when he's feeling it. Interacts with Ifrit and Aether. Keytar solo - [X]. Cutie. Joined in march 2017, left in september 2017.

Ivy aka Earth #3

Drums. Dark eyes, wears bracelets. Same heigh as Ifrit. Even though he had been in the band only few monhs, he did an amazing job. Joined in march 2017, left in june 2017.

Mountain aka Earth #4

Drums. Tall, slim, has grey eyes and a tattoo on his finger. Hates shoes. Quite popular among fans. Pretty calm, especially comparing to Pebble. Nice fella. Was present in Papa III, Cardinal and Papa IV era. Joined in june 2017 and is still in Ghost (as of may 2024)

Prequelle era (april 6, 2018 - march 3, 2020)

The number of ghouls on stage has increased. Instead of 5 there were 7 ghouls. And this is the year when we got not one, but two Ghoulettes! How are they placed on stage? Like this:

(from left to right: Aether/Quintessence #3, Swiss behing him, Mountain/Earth #4, Rain/Water #7 in front, Cirrus/Multi, Cumulus/Multi, Dewdrop/Sodo/Fire #3) New ghouls of this era:

Rain aka Water #7

Bass. A bit taller than Dewdrop and Cardinal/Papa VI. Has dark eyes, beautiful hands, slim. Quite calm comparing to the others. Opened up a bit more in Impera era. The only adult on stage, beside Ghoulettes and Mountain. Has to step in when Sodo becomes a pain in the ass, also allows him to choke him during Year Zero. Joined in january 2018 and is still in Ghost (as of may 2024)

Swiss aka Multi Ghoul

Baritone and acoustic guitar, tambourine, backing vocals. Tall, slim, has dark eyes and biiiiiiiiiiiiig smile. Dances on his platform, tries to seduce other ghouls, acts possessed. Is in your walls. A manace to society. Vapes on stage. Loves interacting with fans and other ghouls. Known for his powerful shimmies. The horniest Ghoul of Ghost. Annoying the shit out of Sodo aka jerking him off was his main hobby in 2023. Also went to Aurora's (see below) and Cumulus' platforms. The most chaotic ghoul. Popular among Ghesties. Joined in january 2018 and is still in Ghost (as of may 2024).

Cumulus aka Multi Ghoulette

Backing vocals, synthesizer, tamboutine. Short, curvy, has amazing voice. No visible tattoos. Loves interacting with fans and other Ghouls/Ghoulettes. Dances, slays. Joined in january 2018 and is still in Ghost (as of may 2024)

Cirrus aka Multi Ghoulette

Keyboard, synthesizer, tambourine, keytar, backing vocals. Tall, slim. No tattoos. Active on stage. Keytar solo - [X]. Loves sticking out her tongue. Comes to the center of the stage in Impera era. Literal queen. Joined in january 2018 and is still in Ghost (as of may 2014)

Impera era (january 25 th, 2022 - october 7th, 2023)

(Front row from left to right: Aether/Quintessence #3, Rain/Water #7, Sodo/Dewdrop/Fire #3. Behind them from left to right: Swiss, Cirrus, Mountain/Earth #4, Cumulus, Sunshine/Multi)

There were a few changes in this era: new Ghouls and slight changes in the stage setting. In 2022 one more Ghoulette joined the Prequlle pack.

Sunshine aka Multi Ghoulette

Backing vocals and tambourine. A bit taller than Cumulus, but shorter than Cirrus. No tattoos and rings/bracelets. Cutie. Dances and acts funny on her platform. Stood on Papa's left. Joined in 2022, left in may 2023.

2023: Sunshine and Aether left and were replaced by Aurora and Phantom. The rest of the Ghouls/Ghoulettes remained the same.

Phantom aka Quintessence #4

Rhythm guitar. Tall, slim, dark eyes. Loves interacting with fans and loves bats. A show off and a little bit chaotic. Quite confident despite being a newbie. Joins Rain and Sodo for epic into of Square Hammer and outro of Rats. Loves annoying Papa IV during Year Zero outro. almost No visible tattoos, wears a ring. Interacts with every ghoul/ghoulettes on stage. Joined in may 2023 and is still in Ghost (as of may 2024)

Aurora aka Multi Ghoulette

Backing vocals, tambourine. Full of energy. The shortest Ghoulette. Loves dancing next to Rain during Miasma. Cute. Despite being smol, brought Swiss to his knees ;) Joined in may 2023, is still in Ghost (as of may 2024) Honorable mentions: Special Ghoul aka Phil aka Tobias

Showed up for interviews and to grab some awards. Talked about albums, meanings of songs and Papas. Worships cats, loves Abba. Slim, has green eyes. Wore Alpha's uniform. Was present in Primo, Secondo and Terzo eras. Makes a lot of silly sounds. Hasn't been active since 2017. Cowbell Ghoul

Plays cowbell in "Ritual" and "If you have Ghosts". A freaking legend. Tall, has a posture of a shrimp. Always got shooed by Papa III. Only showed at the end of Popestar tour in 2016. Brought many people joy with his presence.

And that was it....for now. The movie and new era are coming soon. I'm excited about what's going to happen next. If there are going to be any changes of the lineup i'll make sure to update this guide :)

Thanks for reading 🖤

[bellewintersroe]

Max Verstappen x HornerDaughter!

Part 2 - here is the LINK to the first part! Leni has to act dumb to everything Max has told her when they’re in Monza where Kelly is. She witnesses a somewhat awkward interaction and Max gets suspicious when Leni is close with Carlos.

Warnings: mentions of arguments, probs some swearing, jealousy and impure thoughts. A little naughty thing happens between Leni and Max, but nothing major.

A couple days later we were all back together in Monza for the following Grand Prix. It was more than a success for Red Bull, with Checo taking second and Max taking yet another win. Red Bull now had 10 consecutive wins a row. It was party central around the grid, plus Sainz had bagged 3rd place which he truly deserved, he fought off the RB’s like a mad man for a good 15 laps. After his birthday yesterday, I congratulated him with a massive hug.

“You really deserved that, well done.” I hugged the Spanish man. I’d met Carlos years ago when he signed with Red Bull back in 2010.(I fancied him). Now he just felt like my older brother. Okay maybe that was a weird thing to say.

“Thank you, miss Leni. I missed you.” He gave me a tight squeeze back as I smiled adoringly towards Carlos. “I miss you Carlos, I hope Ferrari are treating you better than before the summer break.” I half joked.

“Yeah, me too.” His eyes widened. “Will you be out tonight?” Carlos then questioned. “Probably, I think we’ll be at the same place, -are you celebrating your birthday too?” “Of course.” He smirked. “I’ll come over and say hi. Get you a couple birthday shots!” I nodded as the older man laughed. “Drinking competition.”

“Are you trying to kill me? I’ll see you tonight, Carlos.” “Yes, let me know when you are in there. I think somebody wants to speak to you.” Carlos nodded behind me as my brows furrowed slightly as I spun around, hand sliding off Carlos’ arm. Max was lingering, a huge smile plastered across his face as he attempted to bite it back, nodding towards Carlos. My heart fluttered pathetically as I laughed out of pure ecstasy.

“Max!” The two of us embraced tightly as he lifted me up. “Oh my god, I’m so happy for you.” I felt the breath of his laughter against my bare shoulder as he gently eased me back to the ground.

“Thank you, thank you. I’m so happy.” He modestly spoke, cheeks flustered from his excitement. The whole morning I had to act sheepishly around him and Kelly, purely because of what he told me when he was drunk. For a second of seeing him, I forgot what I felt awkward about. But when his hand lingered on my upper back, I felt the exact same itch of guilt that had pestered me all day.

“Good, you should be. You’ll be celebrating tonight, right?”

“Maybe, maybe.” He shrugged, hand slipping off as I crossed my hands over my chest. “Maybe? Max you’ve literally beaten a world record, you can’t not!” I nagged, pulling on his arm dramatically.

He smirked sheepishly, laughing to himself as we began walking back to the Red Bull garage. “Carlos is going out!” I spoke, as though that would sway him. “I’m sure Checo is too!” “Go party with Carlos.” Max shrugged nudging my arm. “Huh?” I asked loudly. “Huh?” He mimicked as I scoffed out a laugh. “I thought you… you know- I mean now you’re single-” “Ew, what’re you trying to say?”

“Yes, what are you trying to say, Max?” Another female voice interrupted and I tilted my head up, stomach sinking to see Kelly. “Hi Kelly!” I politely smiled. “Hey.” She smiled back. It was about as far as our friendship ever got, I always made an effort with her, but she was quiet in general, maybe the 13 year age difference between us was a bit too extreme. I was just being a hater.

“Well I thought now Leni is single she might have been… interested in Carlos.”

“Oh.” Kelly’s face relaxed as I felt my frown grow harder. “Carlos? He’s known me since I was like 9!” I grimaced towards Max, feeling Kelly staring right back to her boyfriend. Max shifted uncomfortably. I felt uncomfortable- god he needed to just tell the woman what he was feeling.

“Oops.” Max shrugged as we shared another laugh. Kelly on the other hand, didn’t seem amused. “No hug for me, Max?” She sassed as I felt my stomach churn in guilt. Max’s mouth opened to respond and I wanted to yell out, hug her you fool.

“I’m gonna go, see you both later.” I awkwardly excused myself, wanting to literally throw myself off a cliff. A shudder ran down my spine, cringing at the whole interaction. This whole crush on Max had to stop, how the hell could I limit interaction between us without it looking so obvious?

Limiting interaction is what I tried to do. I kept my distance from Max the whole evening, opting to chat with Checo rather than be around where he and Kelly bickered. It wasn’t anything new the arguments, my dad often said it was Max’s number 1 distraction. Knowing what I now knew, I agreed. I just had to keep my head down and act like whatever they were arguing about wasn’t loud enough that you could hear Kelly over the music.

Minutes later she stormed out, tipping a few drinks off the table in the process. Max groaned into his hands, luckily, Hannah, the strategist, reassured Max she was leaving anyway and she’d fix it. I kinda felt bad for him, he’d just won yet another world title and this had to happen tonight. He looked a little sad, the minute my heart churned I turned my attention elsewhere. I hated the way I wanted to go and speak to him, it wasn’t right. Max needed to end the torment Kelly was probably feeling and sort out their god damn mortgage issue.

Desperate to avoid any form of drama, I escaped to go spend some time with Carlos and the Ferrari team for a while. I looked like a little backstabber, playfully sticking my fingers up at people from RB. I’d fully danced my feet off, and I was exhausted from all the day drinking combined with the heat at Monza.

After saying bye to a bunch of people, I slipped outside, bagging a cigarette off somebody as I stumbled to an empty table, booking an Uber.

“12 minutes? Ugh.” I muttered to myself, quite literally desperate to throw myself in bed. My ankles were desperately hurting where I’d grown uneasy in my heels, and it was beginning to radiate up to my shins. I lit the cigarette and began puffing on the stick that I normally wouldn’t smoke sober.

“I didn’t know you smoke?” My heart skipped a beat as I dropped the freshly lit cigarette into a puddle next to the chair. “I don’t anymore.” I cleared my throat, glancing up to Max quickly. Where had he come from?

“Don’t tell Geri or my dad.” I commented as he let out a soft chuckle. “I won’t.”

“Thanks… what’re you doing out here?”

“Leaving.” He shrugged, sitting across from me. “Oh, me too. You can get in my Uber if you want.” I offered.

“Yeah please, I’ll pay. I gotta go and… find Kelly.” He awkwardly spoke as I glimpsed away at the mention of her name.

“No, you don’t have to pay.” I ignored the last part of his sentence, shaking my head firmly. “I do.” Max firmed. “I don’t mind Max, he’s 10 minutes away, anyway.” I looked back down to my phone as he nodded. “I’ll split share.” He offered, reaching over to tap my phone onto his contact to share the cost. “Okay.” I shyly spoke watching him slide my phone back to me.

“You ok?” He then questioned as I glimpsed back up. “Yeah, I’m good. Are you?”

“Yeah.” He sighed, running his hand through his slightly messy hair. He had stubble growing in areas that made him look extra manly, and I had to pinch my bare thigh to focus on what he was saying.

“Not exactly the best night.” Max awkwardly chuckled as I began picking at the wood on the table, thinking carefully about my words for a good few seconds. “You should tell her, Max.” I boldly said. I felt him shift uncomfortably, when I looked up he was too staring at the table. I assumed he knew what I was talking about. “I know.” He chewed on the inside of his cheeks.

“I didn’t think you’d remember..” he then added on as I let out an awkward laugh. “I didn’t think you would. You’re rich enough, just pay off the mortgage and then that’s out of the way.” “I was talking to my accountant about it.” He rubbed his face. “That’s why she was upset.”

“Oh.” I commented, my eyes roaming around any part of the smoking area, as long as I didn’t make eye contact with him, it was fine.

“Yeah.” Awkward, my teeth sunk into my bottom lip, probably taking off half the lipgloss I’d just applied. “Awkward.” I blurted out, earning a laugh from Max as we caught each others eyes again.

“You don’t have a filter do you?” I felt my cheeks warm desperately as I tried not to smile. “I mean- just not after a few drinks.”

“It’s funny, Leni.” He giggled as I took a sharp breath, “it gets me in trouble sometimes.” I shrugged. We made small talk back and fourth for the next ten minutes before climbing in the Uber together, it was safe to say neither of us was as drunk as we were that night on the beach, we actually had some restraint about us.

“I forgot to take my brother to his tutor today!” I spoke up, turning to face him. Max’s head was rested back, lolling to look at me with a soft gaze.

“How? Why does he have a tutor on a Sunday?” He spluttered out a laugh.

“You tell me. My dad was speaking to me and I forgot to listen- took Monty up to the paddock, he knocked himself out on Gelato, the same way I did the free champagne, and I just… forgot.” “Oh, Leni.” Max laughed, reaching over to slightly touch my hand through his amusement. I spared a quick glance down to his hand, it was inching closer to my own, nudging against it with every bump of movement in the car.

“It was stupid.” I muttered on a sharp intake of breath. Max looked back to me, smiling, I shyly caught his eye, feeling his fingers graze over mine to hold onto my hand. He was smiling, glancing down to our hands and I couldn’t process the butterflies he gave me. The way my heart set off racing, how I felt like I couldn’t speak. What on earth was happening right now?

What followed was a terrible guilt. “Max.” I exhaled, softly parting out hands. I didn’t know what that was, or how it happened so quickly, of course it wasn’t a kiss, but the movement made me truly question if Max and I were actually just friends? Max straightened in his seat, clearing his throat.

“I’m sorry.” He muttered. I trapped both my hands between my knees. I didn’t quite know what to say, I glanced out of the window, pursing my lips slightly. “You need to tell her.”

[foolsocracy]

With all the age discourse around Spider-Man Noir right now, I thought I’d compile parts of the comic that imply his age. I want to state that this pulling from his 2009-2010 comic run before the time skip, specifically the first volume. The spiderverse movie has taken a lot of liberties with the characters, so it is very possible that what Peters age is in 1933 in the comics is NOT what his age is in 1933 in the movies.

Peter’s age is not directly stated in his 1st comic run (I can’t speak for the 2020 ones because it has been a while since I read them, plus there’s like a 10 year jump). It IS however heavily implied that he is young. So much so that you can’t seem to go more than a page without someone referencing it.

Like, these all happen in the same scene. The writers beat you over the head with it.

In this issue alone Peter is called both “son” and “sonny” once, “boy” twice, and “kid” 8 times. Outside nouns, he is also referred to as young, and when Urich brings him to The Black Cat, Felicia calls it “babysitting.” Urich also asks Peter if he is “allowed out after midnight” but after some research I can’t seem to find any evidence of NYC having juvenile curfews at this point in time, though they did exist in lots of towns in the late 1800s and early 1900s because of child labor laws. I think this instance is just Pete just being young and an adult being concerned about his well-being.

It is also mentioned in this volume, and again in Eyes Without a Face (vol 2), that Peter wants to go to college in the future and is currently studying & saving up money to do so. This alone doesn’t necessarily mean he’s under 18 as there isn’t a max age to apply for college, plus Peter comes from a poor family during the Great Depression. It wouldn’t surprise me if he started college later than usual because of that (lack of funds & catching up due to not being in school/working).

There is other evidence that does imply he is under 18 though— he’s too young to drink alcohol!

Spider-Man Noir Vol 1 issue 1 starts in January 1933 before jumping back three weeks to December 1932 where Ben Urich meets Peter Parker

It is during December 1932 that he meets Felicia Hardy who owns the speakeasy The Black Cat. Prohibition is still in place and won’t be overwritten until a year later in December 1933. It is important to note that before Prohibition was instated, the drinking age in New York was 18 years old. That law is what the characters reference when they discuss drinking age. And most importantly, Peter doesn’t deny the fact that he’s too young to drink. He just snarks back in true Parker fashion

This is the most concrete evidence there is towards Peter being under 18 in the noirverse. It can even be argued that Peter is under 17 with how easily Felicia picks up on the fact that he’s underage (and that she does so from a distance might I add, as seen in the ‘babysitting’ panel).

There is also a panel where JJJ refers to Peter as an “orphan.” By definition, an orphan is a kid under 18. This is JJJ, so this can be taken with a grain of salt as he loves good ol hard-hitting words. When people speak they don’t always use words by their exact definitions; sometimes if you’re young and your parents are dead, JJJ is going to label you an orphan even if ur a legal adult lol. But if you take this at face value it’s definitely another indicator that Peter is under 18.

TLDR; Spider-Man Noir from his 2009-2010 comic run is most likely under 18, and can be argued to be 15-16+. If not that, then is definitely college aged or younger.

[moonshynecybin]

prompt #3: not actually a prompt but i wanna loop em together. how did none of you ask me about his ARM cmonnnn

"Does anyone have the balls to actually talk to you about it?" Vale says, speaking slowly, almost whispering. Marc's hair is in the way as he talks, face tucked under Vale's chin.

Marc shrugs. Only one shoulder moves.

"They know… They know not to bring it up if I don’t."

"What?" Vale asks. That doesn't sound right. But Marc keeps going:

"It’s easier that way. I can manage it— Ask someone if I need anything. But this way I don’t have to deal with everyone asking me. I decide."

"Maybe you shouldn’t be deciding." Vale says. Marc being the only one in charge of his body means that racing is going to take the priority.

Marc lets out a sound that intends to be a scoff— but it comes out wetter, uglier. Thick with an emotion he can’t help but let escape. He squirms a little against Vale, uncomfortable.

"I am taking the risk, I am the one on the bike. It’s my body, I know my limits."

Vale hums. "I don’t think you do," He says, not unkindly.

"What?" Marc's turn to be confused. He blinks. From this angle, Vale can just see his eyelashes, the way they flutter against his cheekbones. He smooths a thumb over the skin of Marc's arm, tracing against the edges of his bandage, feels him relax a little. It takes a few seconds to find the words.

"I think you crash until you find the limit. That’s what you do. And I think that you are not a motorbike, so you cannot be doing this all the time. You are not a machine or a tool, Marc— if you break yourself there’s not a guarantee the doctors can always fix you."

It's clear Vale's words hit something in him, knock against some long held belief that's recently been mangled by the reality of his injury. Marc curls in on himself, presses hard into the fabric of Vale's t-shirt, and Vale is suddenly, violently glad that they chose not to do this face to face. That he doesn’t have to see the way the scaffolding of Marc’s face is collapsing as he tries not to cry.

His body shudders, a leaf in the wind. When he talks, its taught and thin, scraped raw.

"I am afraid— I am afraid it will not be how it was," Marc says.

"It won’t.” Vale replies, and he feels like he wants to burn down the world. He hates that he hasn't been here, that Marc has had to deal with this alone. That they weren't speaking when the injury happened. That he had to get updates on Marc from fucking instagram. That he couldn’t convince Marc not to race, not to rush recovery, not to open that sliding door. Anything to prevent this— Marc, cracked open against him, chest heaving.

A terrible thought occurs to him, and he remembers abruptly and with horrific clarity when he broke his leg in 2010. How he came back months early, against the wishes of his doctor. How he lost the title anyways— how it was for nothing.

And he remembers Marc, aged 15 and frame too small, coming up to him in an oversized Honda polo, a model car cradled in his skinny fingers. Two years before Vale’s leg. Marc had been watching.

Was he always like this? Did you make him worse?

Marc shudders in a sniff, exhausted. It’s almost time for his next round of pain meds, and he must be feeling it.

Vale gathers him as close as he can, careful not to disturb his arm. There's nothing he can do about that right now.

He can try. It might not do much, this late, with everything that’s happened. With their history. With Marc’s arm the way that it is. But he can try.

“It won’t be the same, Marc— but that. That doesn’t mean it won’t be okay.”

[gerardpilled]

Speaking of forgotten 2010s bands. I distinctly remember being 15 and watching the Neon Trees music video and being jump scared by this photo of the singer and Gerard that pops up

[ninjawitdaddyissues]

15 years of Dan & Phil - Major Arcana

It struck me that there has been 15 years since Dan and Phil met and my little goose brain connected that to the devil card number 15 (symbolised in dnpcrafts video) and so now you get a large post of me analysing year by year dnp in the major arcana.

DISCLAIMER: this is just for fun and because i am a silly jester who needed to feel joy while on video call with a friend. do not take any of this seriously, i am just a goofy guy with an internet connection and too much time.

The Fool - 0

we start at the fool, 2009.

"The Fool is young and vulnerable. He has not yet experienced the ups and downs of life, leaving him unaware of the magnitude of life's challenges, as well as the potential he holds. When The Fool comes up in a Tarot reading, you are encouraged to take on his open, willing energy and embrace all that lies ahead of you without worry."

The year dnp meet. The start of the journey. The fool is considered the main character of the Major arcana journey. Thus Dan and Phil are the main characters of this story, their story.

Both unaware of what the future holds for them, their life™ was only just at conception. I feel like this one is very self explanatory in context of them just having met, we as the audience are just introduced to the concept of Dan and Phil.

The fool energy (open, willing) is especially evident in videos like PINOF 1 and The Interactive Christmas Adventure where their silliness, and creativity really shine. This is an era of open, easy (almost naive) energy.

The Magician - 1

The year is 2010...

"The Magician card is a reminder that you are unique and have many gifts. These skills set you apart from the crowd and can help you begin new projects or overcome adversity. When The Magician comes up in your Tarot reading, it's a reminder that you already hold everything you need to move forward and accomplish what you've set out to do."

The year of Dan moving to Manchester and starting his Law Degree and Phil getting his flat in Manchester, PINOF2, Jamaica trip, and the conception of the forbidden video. We also have creative bangers such as "the inflatable lion of destiny", 'Blindfolded Catface Game', 'Dan and Phil get down' and 'The TREE'.

The boys are creating core parts of the Dan and Phil universe without knowing it. Together they have all the ingredients needed (see in the card imagery; the wand, cup, pentacle and sword) to create a fanbase and a successful career.

The High Priestess - 2

2011 baybeeeeee

"The most intuitive, connected card in the whole Tarot deck, The High Priestess is a card of awareness. This card urges you to listen to your inner voice and follow your instincts. Your mind knows far more than you think. When this card arises in your Tarot reading, stop looking for answers in the outside world. Turn within for the guidance you seek."

We have the Manchester apartment™, PINOF 3, the forbidden video leak and the first radio show. The relation to this, to me, really comes up in the forbidden video response. Having to turn inwards, the boys became insular, guarded and a wall was really put up between them and the audience to protect themselves. We can't speak to exactly what was happening for them internally and only make our assumptions based on what they outwardly expressed at the time.

The Empress - 3

2012

"The Empress is the most feminine card in the Tarot, and greatly encourages compassion, beauty, and love. She is deeply connected to Mother Nature, and her influence is powerful when you absorb the energy of the natural world around you."

"This supreme archetype of femininity also symbolizes fertility. It is The Empress who provides us nourishment and security. She is also sometimes seen as delighting us with flowers and fruit."

We have entered younow era. They also move to London this year, Dan officially drops out of uni, we get PINOF 4 and a second radio show. We also have the iconic tweet 'FYI i like vagina'. This year is known for being a difficult year in the Phandom. It has a reputation for 'no homo howell' and generally the boys being more reserved and insular with what and how they shared their lives.

In relation to The Empress card I think we can draw particularly on security. We know they had a stalking problem at the London apartment - a threat to their physical security, fans being hectic about their sexualities (particularly Dan) - a threat to their privacy. We also have Dan getting an influx of 'are you gay' on younow and having to reassert his ' straightness' lends itself to the femininity of this card. He had to play straight in order to keep himself safe. This card being for 2012 when we know they really withdrew from sharing themselves with us is quite the oxymoron but despite the withdrawing of their sharing with the audience we know they still had great success (got their flowers) in the coming years.

The Emperor - 4

2013

"The Emperor is a card of leadership and power. He is an authoritative force who has been through many experiences to achieve this status. He represents structure and solidity, and reminds you that you, too, hold immense amounts of power over your own life, and what happens to it."

THE BRITISH VLOGGER BOOM IS UPON US. The boys have gone through some shit™ at this point and are starting to establish themselves as Entertainers. They are on the grind, they are moving in the direction of establishing themselves as entertainers/presenters in the mainstream space marked by the beginning of the request radio show. Their Youtube numbers climb as does their power in the online world. As for them holding power over their own lives, I know Dan has mentioned not feeling in control of things like his audience at this point. But I think this card speaks to them really gaining control over their future career wise as a duo - even if they didn't fully see themselves as such yet.

We also have the Charlie Skies twitter fiasco this year - another threat to their privacy. Through this Dan in particular had to trust in the power he had over his own narrative in redirecting attention and deflecting Charlie's online attacks. He blocked him and protected his peace and as a result not a whole lot of the phandom knows about this beef. Dan and Phil are nothing if not good at diversion, distraction and hiding things from the internet (good for them).

The Hierophant - 5

2014

"The Hierophant is like a messenger from the heavens. He is experienced in spirituality and guidance, and his job is to bring these lessons down to us here in the real world. When The Hierophant comes up in your Tarot reading, you're encouraged to follow the rules, and to find a spiritual perspective on your current situation."

"Before him kneel two followers. The Hierophant’s task is to pass down his spiritual wisdom and initiate the two into the church so they can take up their appointed roles. This imagery speaks to a shared group identity and a rite of passage to enter the next level. The crossed keys at The Hierophant’s feet represent the balance between the conscious and subconscious minds and the unlocking of mysteries, which only he can teach."

This year brings us the first Brit awards hosting, the radio show transitioning to the Internet Takeover, Dan and Phil Games and the channels continuing to grow. This card in particular I think relates to them and their relation to the BBC. In this card they are the two people in front of the Hierophant, learning and having knowledge bestowed upon them. This was a year of developing their careers into a new phase of mainstream TV palatability. Dan and Phil are stepping into previously unchartered spaces for just a couple of guys on the internet.

The Lovers - 6

2015

"The Lovers card represents the close relationships in your life. If it comes up in your Tarot reading, your love life is in need of extra attention. However, this is just as much a card about your values and decisions. You may find The Lovers come up when you are at a crossroads. Consider all the possible consequences of your choices."

Significant events this year include; TABINOF, TATINOF, Dan and Phil crafts, Japhan part 1, Brit Awards hosting and the channels growing. Japhan happening this year with the lovers card showing up is very sweet. Dan and Phil knew they had big events coming up for them in their lives so they carved out space for them to enjoy existing together by going to Japan.

We also know that at this point Dan and Phil were looking to move on from the TV Host type of space they found themselves in with the BBC. A crossroads of where they wanted to take the world of Dan and Phil™ . That gave way to TABINOF and TAINOF, stepping into an unknown space of Youtubers doing stuff in the real world once again. Phil mentioned in his video, 'Draw my LIfe 2' that they really had to trust that this was the correct move for them. A crossroads where they had to consider the consequences when investing their money into TABINOF and TATNIOF.

The Chariot - 7

2016

"The Chariot card is connected to your natural drive and determination, and can indicate an upcoming victory. This card reminds you that your greatest successes won't come through limited thinking -- when you combine the knowledge of your mind with that of your heart and spirit, you are an unstoppable force."

This year brought alot of reaping on benefits of putting trust in the crossroads that the Lovers card presented. We see the end of the Internet Takeover, the final Brit Awards hosting and the end of the TATINOF era. They combined their mind, heart and spirit and came out successful, winning 4 awards this year and having the huge success of TATINOF. They didn't allow themselves to be limited (by the BBC) and they succeeded. So, if they could achieve a world tour and a best selling book on their own... well what could come next??

Strength - 8

2017

"The Strength card represents courage, the fortitude of your heart, and your ability to withstand anything life hands you. If this card arises in your Tarot reading, you are reminded that you're strong enough to handle whatever you are facing and will come out of it with even more power than you had before."

This year, the boys move to their new London apartment (the fake apartment), Interactive Introverts is announced, Dan goes curly and the end of danisnotonfire branding.

We know from the video 'Dan and Phil Finally Tell the Truth' that Dan had begun to realise he couldn't stay in the closet any longer, which led to his mini breakdown on the balcony. He stated that he was worried if they went on tour with introverts he was going to have a very public meltdown. We also got the video 'Daniel and Depression'. Between the two of these things we can see how the strength card really came into play this year.

Phil has also talked about how they didn't know how they were going to get everything done this year. With Introverts tour looming, they were inundated with work and they really had to grin and bare through it. They had to trust their strength as a duo that they would come through this time together.

The Hermit - 9

2018

"The Hermit yearns to be alone. He knows that the only way to process what is happening in life is to withdraw from the noise of the world and create a quiet space of solitude. When The Hermit comes up in your reading, the answers you need will come from within. Be very still, and listen..."

This year is the year of the Interactive Introverts tour, the final PINOF, the gaming channel hiatus and Dan's video 'trying to live my truth'. The Hermit coming up in a year of them going into hiatus, is just very nail on the god damn head. I mean what card could be more relevant? It seems so self explanatory, I don't even know what to say.

The boys had to turn inward once again to assess where to go next in their careers. They talk about pausing to take stock of what they have done and where they will go.

Dan took a huuuuuge step back to go inwards and process everything he had been holding in and pushing through in the previous years as they were so busy with their career building. This was a year where they gave themselves permission to slow down and finally look inward for where to go next. This introversion beginning is seen at the start of 2018 in Dan's 'Trying to Live My Truth' video.

We also have Phil with his dizzy spells during this year meaning there was less amazingphil content. This could also be seen as an introversion. He had to slow down his public career of take care of himself and focus on his health.

The Wheel of Fortune - 10

2019

"The Wheel of Fortune is constantly revolving -- sometimes you will be at the top, and sometimes you will be at the bottom. This Tarot card reminds you that nothing is permanent, and, good or bad, you must cherish the lessons that this moment is bringing you."

"Good luck, karma, life cycles, destiny, a turning point"

Bare with me while I desperately try to refrain from top and bottom jokes due to the concision of the wheel of fortune card and dnp coming out in the same year. But truly this card represents a turning point and a destiny fulfilment. If BIG and COTY are not a destiny fulfilment and turning point then I don't know what is! The boys are living their truth, they are moving into a new era.

Justice - 11

2020

"Justice is your firm-but-fair reminder that there is a consequence for every action. Whatever life is handing you at this moment comes from decisions you and others have made in the past, reflecting natural cause-and-effect. When this card comes up in your Tarot reading, make sure you are acting fairly in all your interactions with others."

Libra card!!!! This year we have covid hitting, a quiet year for content all round. We have the stereo shows starting up at the end of the year along with the phouse announcement. This year also featured Steve the pigeon (pigeon fest/rescuing a pigeon video).

When we look at cause and effect, the phouse is what comes to mind. They worked themselves so hard in the years previous and they were able to buy and design their forever home. The cause and effect of them coming out is also seen in their ability to be open with the audience that they are continuing to not only live together but purchase and build property together. If they had not come out, things like buying a house together would've raised so many more questions and possibly caused more issues for them and their privacy (fan speculation). This new era really hinged on them coming out and setting themselves up as an ambiguous couple. In this case the cause and effect really benefitted them.

The Hanged Man - 12

2021

"The Hanged Man tells you that sometimes small sacrifices are required to benefit the bigger picture. When The Hanged Man arises in your reading, you likely want to make a move but don't know where to begin. Lightening your grip on what's no longer working for you, or detaching from the outcome of your situation, can help you release yourself."

This year gives us the first joint video since 2018 in the form of 'something we want to tell you'. This marks Dan's return to being perceived online. Subsequently we have the book release in May, YWGTTN, and they move into the somewhat uncompleted phouse.

We get many iconic videos this year showing a shift in their on camera dynamic - a loosening grip on the wall they built up with the audience during the early years. They let us in on alot more of those moments that drive us absolutely insane, the smiles were off the charts and we started eating good again. They have begun trusting the audience with more of their authentic selves and silly dynamic. In Phil's recent video where he looks at old profile pics, he talks fondly about the silly icon pic from him and Dan during lockdown.

I think the sentiment of no longer caring what people think is really echoed in this years content. The boys are self assured and care less about what people have to say because they are successful and have nothing to hide.

The hanged man is shown in this loosening grip on hiding parts of themselves and allowing themselves to trust the audience more knowing that whatever the outcome they have each other and that in enough.

Death - 13

2022

"One of the most misunderstood Tarot cards, Death is not a card about physical death. The Death card speaks of cycles and is a reminder that all things must pass. Hanging on to situations from the past will hinder you from allowing new, better things to enter your life. In every ending lies a chance for a new beginning."

wad year/DD/wiqy

What can I say. Death card for WAD year? It just makes sense. A year where Dan and Phil spent the most time apart since they met in 2009, taking a break from the cycle of their everyday life.

We also got Dan's WIQY video, again reflecting on the last few years and essentially announcing his burn out. Giving up on being Youtube's 'golden boy' by speaking his mind about how he was effected by circumstances beyond his control.

Then we have WAD. The show being reflective of his past and the future for the earth. This year truly felt like a rebirth for Dan specifically. He was back on the internet, Dystopia Daily, being able to openly make gay jokes. He went back out into the world and found meaning in existence again. And once that meaning was obtained, he went back to Phil. A new beginning in how they both show up online, unapologetically themselves.

Temperance - 14

2023

"The Temperance card is a master of moderation. She encourages peace and patience, and reminds you to go with the flow of your life instead of trying to force its pace or direction. When Temperance turns up in your Tarot reading, it is a message to take things as they come, and remain flexible enough to change with the changes."

2023 brought us more DD, end of WAD, The 3rd Japhan trip, the Phude, and the return of the gaming channel.

This is a year of things slowly going back to routine for DnP. Dan comes back from tour, they go on holiday to Japan. Up until the gaming channel coming off hiatus 2023 was seemingly a chill flux and flow for dnp. The flow (this is a water heavy card) of their life returned to normal.

While DnP certainly didn't make this comeback with moderation (leaping straight into spooky week and then gamingmas as well as merch drops) they wouldn't have come back without a serious plan to keep their workaholic tendency's in check.

The Devil - 15

2024

"The Devil card carries themes of restraint and powerlessness. When it comes up in your Tarot reading, you are likely feeling stuck. The Devil has convinced you that you have no options, but this couldn't be further from the truth. You hold the keys to your own freedom, but it's up to you to open the lock."

So we all know the crafty video from this year has direct symbolism to the devil card. There have been many great analyses between the two so I won't go into that as much here. But what I will say is that I see this card for this year as an unshackling of themselves. We see them far more open and willing to trust the audience to be in on the joke rather than and us vs. them situation of the 2012 era. So rather than them feeling stuck I believe this symbolises them no longer being stuck and stepping into their most honest selves while still maintaining their boundaries.

That concludes my wee dive into dnp lore and how it relates to the major arcana. I am not someone with a huge amount of knowledge on tarot (just a wee bit from my own experience of doing a card read every so often but certainly not someone who has ever studied tarot), so if you are big on tarot absolutely chime in and add to this!! I am also so sure I missed dnp lore but hey I did what I could! Also big ty to @boardgamedanny for being on video call with me for 2 days in a row to suggest things and pipe in and also distract me horrendously. Also biiig thanku to my friend, Peter, who isn't on here but sparked this whole thing, with their tarot knowledge and my dnp brain encyclopedia.

now sources!!

[moongothic]

Okay so realistically speaking, giving birth is an excruciating, painful nightmare, and from the few Crocodad fics I've seen most people seem to prefer to write realistic pregnancy and make Luffy's birth a (physically) painful thing. Because it makes sense, it might be more relatable for some writers that way etc, and that's perfectly fine (like genuinely, it's not an issue at all, this is not a critique or a complaint)

God I don't know how to make this segue- Have any of you watched Ore Monogatari!! (My Love Story)? It's a great early 2010s romantic comedy series, funny as hell, super cute and sweet, would reccomend, but that aside. During the series the protagonist Takeo's mother gets pregnant and she ends up giving birth to Takeo's baby sister. And it's that scene, where Takeo's baby sister is born, that I keep on thinking back to whenever I wonder how Luffy's birth might've gone.

Takeo and his mother alike are Sturdy Motherfuckers. Like absolute gigachads, borderline superhuman, it's great and it's funny as hell. And because of that near superhuman nature... Takeo's mother goes to give birth at 4:15 pm. And she has finished giving birth at 4:16 pm. One fucking minute is what it took for this woman to bring a child into this world. An absolute legend

The screencaps do not do justice to how fucking funny this is in the actual episode

And so like

Like we know Crocodile's been through absolute hell, being an amputee and all. And as Domino told us at the entrance of Impel Down, we also know the man did not even flinch when forced into Impel Down's traditional 200 Celsius cleansing bath (or 392F)

So Crocodile has better pain tolerance than the average person. Like, you might have to put in a bit of effort to cause him actually hurt. So if giving birth to Luffy was an absolute cakewalk for Crocodile, not only would it make perfect sense in-universe and be completely in-character for him, but also

It would be objectively funny as hell

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

CW: child abuse, abuse of parent by child, victim blaming (maybe)

AITA for potentially abusing my parents?

i am 15, turning 16, and non-binary (they/it)

my parents are about 47 (mom) and 49 (dad)

my mom has depression + anxiety

my dad has ADHD + autism + depression

i have ADHD + social anxiety + autism + depression

i get angry quite easily, i often get into arguments with my parents. this causes them to get angry at me

because of my autism (probably) (i am autistic, just not entirely sure if it’s an autistic thing), i am not good at regulating my tone of voice, so it often sounds like i’m mean. this causes my parents to get angry at me.

my parents are often (usually, even) kind to me. they comfort me when i’m sad, sometimes help me when the other one hurts me (emotionally). it’s important to know that they’re not Disney villains.

on the other hand, when they get angry at me they often yell at me, blame me, say i’m rude on purpose and i’m acting like a 2 year old.

they also often hit me.

occasions such as: sitting on The Bench, speaking in the wrong tone of voice, getting hit, hiding in the bathroom, getting forced out; not unpacking my boxes fast enough, getting slapped in the face; accidentally slamming my sister’s (20F/NB) fingers in the door while trying to close my door after a fight, getting slapped in the face; etc.

they invade my privacy: going through my phone; forcing me to leave my door open; removing the lock on the bathroom door when i used it to hide from my dad.

whenever i try to bring up these events, they either deny it ever happened, tell me they “had to,” or minimize it.

sometimes when i confront them or when i’m being mean, they tell me i’m verbally abusive.

ADHD children are oft abusive to their parents (Ghanizadeh and Jafari 2010)

But (far more) studies show that ADHD children have a higher risk of being abused (Singer and Humphreys and Lee 2016)

Am I an abuser? Am I abusing my parents? Or are they abusing me? Or do we both suck?

PLEASE KEEP IN MIND THEY ARE NOT DISNEY VILLAINS THEY ARE NICE A LOT OF THE TIME AND THAT DOESNT EXCUSE THEIR ACTIONS BUT IT MAKES IT A LOT BETTER THAN “my parents are monsters and have never told me they love me” THEY HAVE THEY DO SO MUCH FOR ME

but they do so much to hurt me too.

References

Ghanizadeh, A and Jafari, P. (2010, 10 Oct.) Risk factors of abuse of parents by their ADHD children. Eur Child Adolesc Psychiatry. 19, 75–81.

Singer, M. J., Humphreys, K. L., & Lee, S. S. (2016). Coping Self-Efficacy Mediates the Association Between Child Abuse and ADHD in Adulthood. Journal of attention disorders, 20(8), 695–703.

Am I The Asshole? And if I am the asshole do I have a right to be traumatised and flinch and stuff? And if I don’t then like… am I a bad person for that too?

What are these acronyms?

[euniexenoblade]

Ok so Apple released it's 100 Greatest Albums list a while ago and I scoffed at it, but after watching some youtubers whine about it in different ways, I realized I hadn't given it the fairest shake. I haven't listened to every album on it and a lot of stuff I have listened to I haven't listened to in a long while. So, I'm gonna listen to every album featured and decide how I feel about them. And for fun y'all get small quick reviews.

Starting off, here's part one of my reviews.

I decided to start with Adele's 21. Not for any special reason other than it seemed like it might be nice to listen to in the shower. Adele has a great, powerful voice, but the album has two song archetypes that just get repeated. The songs are mostly competent so individually they're fine, but together as an album they make a very boring experience. Also, I recognized Rumor Has It from a commercial or something, I fucking hate that song. Docked extra points for having that song. This album doesn't belong on the list at all to me, and even if we are throwing a bone to the modern 2010s-2020s artists, she definitely doesn't deserve number 15. A ridiculous placement.

I decided to take on Drake's Take Care and hey guys, does Drake make any other songs? Why do they all sound the same? Does he do anything other than sad boy shit? Of the three Drake releases I've now listened to, this one is easily the best one. I didn't hate the experience, for that Drake deserves some kudos. But, I don't think there's anyway to view Drake positively in 2024. Maybe in 2011 this seemed special, but in 2024 I can easily say that this does not deserve to be on this list, let alone at 47. Giving Drake a pity placement is fine, but not in the top 50.

I have never understood the love that Hotel California garners. Like, the song is good, but it's not earth shattering, and the rest of the album is pretty typical rock for the era. There is just so little content that I haven't got much to say, it's competent enough to not be laughably bad, but it's also so run of the mill there's no highlights. Picking it for a list like this is what I'd call a safe option, not a real option.

I'll be frank, I'm not very familiar with Robyn or Body Talk, so maybe I don't have context on how important this album was to the history of the genre or music at large. Though, to my ear, the album bounces between having wonderful dance pop tracks to having some really boring, repetitive tracks. Still, not the worst album here (not even the worst in this post), it's just hard for me to really gauge how deserving it is for this list.

Probably an album with an unfair advantage, I've been listening to RATM since I was a kid. My favorite Rage album is definitely The Battle of Las Angeles, but I'm not dumb enough to say that should be on the list. Still think Evil Empire had greater music and potentially greater reach than the self titled, but this being here isn't bad. Just a shame it's only at 97.

Did enjoy this a quite a bit. However, musically speaking it feels incredibly one note. This belongs in the top 100 albums ever? Did it really have that level of cultural inspiration? I'm not mad at it being included, not even mad it's at 96, but for it to be in a better spot than the self titled RATM album? Incredibly stupid.

Probably a dumb thing to say, but this is what I expected Drake's album to be like? Fun music and fun lyrics about being a sad boy, a lover boy, and being too playful with women. Honestly, the only reason it gets such low ratings is consistently Usher says shit like this

GET IT?! IT'S CONFESSION PART II, SO HE SAYS PART TWO OF MY CONFESSION!! SOOOO CLEVER come on man. Does it belong on the best 100 list? I don't know. Let someone else decide that.

I have no issue with either of this being on the list, being in the 90s, or any real thoughts to give. Burial isn't quite my vibe musically so I got nothing to say, and Solange is great so it's like. It's cool they're there, no thoughts.

I don't have an issue with George Michael being on this list, but this album? I vibe Faith far more.

Flower Boy by Tyler the Creator is absolutely one of my favorite albums. I'd have imagined that Apple would have chosen Igor, since it's the one people universally seem to adore, but I'm happy Flower Boy is getting love. Flower Boy is my favorite from Tyler and it has special meaning in my heart, so any praise the album can get.

Look, if you're picking AC/DC albums to put on a list, then this is probably the correct pick, but why would you put AC/DC on the top 100 Albums of all Time list? I don't even think they'd qualify for the Top 100 Hard Rock Albums from before the 2000s list! Is it cuz of the Iron Man soundtrack? It's gotta be right?

This is probably my most unpopular opinion: Lady Gaga is overrated as hell. I do not understand what people in 2009 saw in these songs and I still don't get it now. Maybe it belongs on this Top 100 Albums List cuz it had some kind of cultural impact, I mean her music was inescapable for a time. But, I don't get it, I wouldn't put it on my list, and Bad Romance is absolutely one of the most annoying pop songs the radio has ever played.

And, to conclude this long ass pointless post, I'll just jump ahead again to end this on an album I enjoy.

I don't get the weird revisionism that happens around Kid A. I do love it to death, but when it came out it was critically hated. It just feels like everyone treats this as the greatest triumph in music, when the only people that have heard it are Radiohead fans and the weird hipster that tries to act smarter than you in music. Oh well, it's Captain America's favorite album so I guess it works.

I guess more of the issue is Radiohead is one of like, three or four artists on this list that gets more than one spot. Why waste a spot on Kid A at 33 when you have Ok Computer at 12, let some other unnamed artist be on the list instead.

Neither Kid A or OK Computer are my favorite Radiohead albums, but hey, I like Kid A. It's one of four albums I listen to when trying to fall asleep at night, so it's nice to see mentioned I guess.

[victimsofyaoipoll]

Round 1

Propaganda Under Cut

Allura

Lots of people (myself included tbh) ship klance (Keith and Lance). In s8 the creators made Allura/Lance canon (but then they killed her off and left the ending ambiguous it was weird). Anyway the fandom treats her like she's the most terrible bitchy woman ever but all she wants to do is end the war and avenge her destroyed home planet. Yeah she wasn't always the nicest or always the best, but you could argue some other characters in the show aren't either and they aren't treated near as bad as allura. people really just hate her bc Lance liked her. I don't think allura/lance are good together, but I still liked her as a character and thought she was interesting and had a lot of growth during the show. she DEF is not evil like some people portray her as in fic or talk about her in captions on posts. I've seen people say that they HATE her and that she's the worst and I'm like ??? let her live (well sort of ig she is dead now). lots of fic writers use her as the villain which is so interesting to me bc the show literally has villains like use them. anyway allura so perfectly fits the bracket description she deserves better.

I hate to acknowledge my time in this fandom but I hate the way the fandom treated her more. Allura was treated like shit no matter what side of the Great Ship War you were on because she was always a threat to the biggest ships (klance and sheith). At best she got put into Background Lesbian or Consolation Prize Shallura (Space Mom-zoned) (She was not a motherly figure btw. She was just Black). At worst she was violently demonized for being ~racist~ (kinda not cool with the alien race that blew up her planet for a few episodes), complete with misogynistic language hurled at her (she got called a bitch sooo much). Allura was a good and cool character and the show did her dirty but the fandom was somehow worse.

i apologise for speaking the dark magicks, but amidst the voltron fandoms many, many transgressions, there were a particular subset of people who just hated this girl. the infamous klance wars of the 2010s kept this perfectly fine childrens cartoon character in the sights of shippers everywhere, and she (and her voice actress im sure) were subjected to years of petty squabble blown up to global perportions. ive seen hate, ive seen rants, ive seen fanfics that made her homophobic. girls been through the ringer, and even though voltron was never the show its fandom wanted it to be, i believe allura deserved better

Kayano Kaede

shes genuinely a really tragic character who had potential for a really compelling, effective arc concerning grief, identity, healing, and finding trust again all while going through the inherent ordeal of being 15 years old….if she werent a female character in a shonen anime 😭😭 instead she gets sidelined during the show up until her big plot twist reveal after which shes immediately sidelined again. whatever i still love her and know her to be a character of all time who has suffered more than jesus. in my experience shes perhaps the female character who like. ive seen most *obsessively* hated due to her “getting in the way” of the ship b/w the male protagonist + deuteragonist (bc of her proximity to the both of them) u woild think shes the devil incarnate and not just. 15 and traumatised 

She had a crush on Nagisa and they kissed and a lot of fans ship him with Karma so theyre mad that Kaede is there. She is super silly and nice but the fandom hates her for standing in the way of karmagisa.

she's a sweet person that was an actor and loves her sister. she is the main love interest of the main character but doesn't interact with him more than most of the other characters for a majority of the story. Often I have seen them removed from the story only to become some homophobic jerk that's desperate for the main characters love instead of letting her keep the good friendship that her and the main character had before the romance.

[wishfishy]

When I first heard that a new Endless Ocean was going to be released, I was incredibly excited. Just absolutely over-the-moon excited. You see, Endless Ocean 2: Blue World (also called Endless Ocean 2: Adventures of the Deep) is one of my favourite games of all time. Scratch that: it is my favourite game. It was far from perfect, but I loved it dearly and happily sank hundreds if not thousands of hours into it.

EO2 is a diving game for the wii that was released in 2010, and I have never been able to find a game quite like it. The main story was a bit cheesy, but charming and engaging, with a bevy of likeable if occasionally one-note characters, and the game itself had surprising depths (diving pun fully intended). The game had 12 different diving maps in 6 locations and while the specific areas were fictitious, they were based on very real places (the South Pacific, Mediterranean Sea, Red Sea, Arctic and Antarctic Oceans, as well as a freshwater river in the Amazon) and this was reflected in the species found in each area, with a few exceptions here and there.  You could explore shallow coral reefs, a sunken castle, ancient temples, abyssal depths, a kelp forest, sandy beaches, riverbanks, hidden coves with murals, and much more. You also had a small private island as a hub location, a personal reef you could decorate, and a public aquarium which you could fill with any of the non-legendary species you discovered.

Speaking of which, the game featured 340 different species of marine and freshwater fish, sharks, rays, marine mammals, penguins, shore birds, reptiles, crustaceans, cephalopods and other invertebrates. Some of these also had different models for young or different genders. You could find truly miniscule species that most other diving games overlook entirely in zoom-spots (such as gobies and nudibranchs), and you could interact with most by feeding, touching or even riding in the case of large marine life. And on top of this you could also find legendary creatures, which could be individuals of extant species with unusual colouring or size, or even extinct species, and could be exceedingly hard to find but entirely rewarding.

This is already getting to be much too long but on top of all this you could customize your diver character, buy things for your island hub, decorate and populate a private reef to propagate and release fish, create various aquarium exhibits, discover a great many side-quests, upgrade equipment, take and sell photographs, heal sick animals, search for and sell salvage, find collectable coins, train dolphin partners, take requests for guided tours, dolphin shows, salvage and photos, dodge or placate aggressive sharks, and more that I am probably forgetting. It’s been a while since I’ve played the game, as I no longer have a wii and don’t have the first clue on how to emulate games on my PC. All this is to say that this game was something special, and I have never been able to find anything remotely close to it. And seeing as how the last one was released almost 15 years ago, I had long given up hope for an Endless Ocean 3.

And then lo and behold, a trailer dropped from out of nowhere for Endless Ocean Luminous! And it was releasing in a month! Holy Shit! What!? Yes!

But alas, the more information came out about the game, the more that excitement started to wane. A focus on multiplayer? Procedural generation? Only one map? The only character being an AI that sounded like all those awful tiktok voices? To be clear, I wasn’t expecting Luminous to be the next GoTY. I wasn’t even expecting it to be an exact replica of EO2, or continue the storyline. If it had even a fraction of what I liked about the previous game I was going to be one happy camper. I assumed that the marketing was focusing on the multiplayer aspect instead of the single-player story, that hopefully the procedurally generated map was exclusive to that multiplayer. Surely the single player mode would extend past what little was shown in the trailers. Some things seemed promising, such as an advertised 500+ species, and even more prehistoric marine life. But again, alas, what I have seen since the release is the barest and palest reflection of what I enjoyed about the previous game. I could understand cutting some content, such as the dolphin training and shows, considering the controversy of cetaceans in captivity. But it seems like there is no aquarium, no central hub of any type, no characters beyond the aforementioned AI and a single faceless diver, salvage reduced to a single click, an incredibly reduced story consisting mostly of scanning fish, no ability to feed or interact with fish and fish behaviour also seems to be quite reduced. At least photography still appears to be in the game, though its unclear to what point. Are there still photo requests? The ability for some critters to swim along with or attach to your diver looks cute at least. But everything I’ve watched so far just feels so… lifeless. Empty. As if the whole game was AI generated, which I’m at least %75 sure isn’t the case.

But I’m left kind of baffled by the direction that this game was taken in. I’ve been trying to find any information about it’s development with little to no success. Why the focus on multiplayer to the exclusion of a single player story beyond the bare minimum? What lead to the choice to have a single, procedurally generated map instead of separate, smaller, but more scientifically accurate maps? Or even a single smaller but purposefully designed map? Was this game more like the previous games at any point in its conception or development or was it always intended to be such a departure?

[nekropsii]

man what I hate about the fandom excusing the Dave blog with the n word like "it's not IN the comic so it's not canon" is that in THE comic, Hussie was way too obsessed with having Dave rap about segregation and slavery as quips one of the first raps even referenced the slur negro, which textually went over many people's heads (because "it's just "black" in French") when the context was racist white men in segregation-era and how they pronounced that very closely to the well-known slur, pronouncing it with "knee" these types of raps weren't just in Act 1, it was even in Act 3 it's so uncomfortable considering Hussie said "I just type out how I'd talk" when it came to Dave's dialogue, considering his humor and how those raps and the blog came into light it's so annoying how people keep suggesting it's not IN the comic at all- like it's giving "read it once 5 years ago and never freshened up on it while still debating it", y'know?

I'll give as many sources to what you said here as I can, just so people listen more. Wasn't able to track everything down, so some things are more up in the air, but overall, you're on the money.

[Blog of Dave Strider- February 17, 2010.]

I heavily agree and identify with your frustration. Just because it's "not in the comic" doesn't mean Hussie didn't write it and that it's not worth evaluating. This isn't a case where you can disregard it for noncanonicity reasons, like Post Canon. This was written concurrently with canon, and therefore it reflects the political mindset of Hussie during the time of writing Homestuck. That much is valuable information. What I will point out is that the next paragraph here contains yet another phrase that is rather telling of Hussie's... Racial vocabulary.

Definitely not the most comfortable thing in the world, to put it nicely. Haven't personally seen it get mentioned, and I feel like it's apt to bring up here, since this is the closest I've seen Hussie get to the big Hard R. Typically, they default to Soft A, which doesn't make it less racist, but does have a different... Vibe, so to speak. It's more hateful sounding.

Moving on.

[Andrew Hussie's Formspring- Feb 24, 2010 - Mar 7, 2010. Exact date unknown.]

The fact that Dave is a near exact emulation of Hussie themself in speech mannerisms, down to the lifting of entire chatlogs, is telling. As we've seen from Hussie's past work, he was clearly... excessively comfortable with throwing around the N-word, as a white man. Why would Dave be any different? It's hard to argue that Dave's racism is "not indicative of Dave's flaws, but indicative of Hussie's", when Dave as a character is both a product of Hussie's mind and a direct extension of her. You can't truly divorce the two. Dave is racist because Hussie is racist. Dave is an extension of Hussie.

[Homestuck, Act 2, page 294- June 23, 2009.]

I believe this is what you were talking about in reference to that particular version of the N-word being used, as well as the references to slavery. This is in Act 2. I couldn't find much in Dave's other raps, outside of his fixation on the idea of Black presidents as a novel concept... Other than this.

[Homestuck, Act 5 Act 2, page 2825- November 1, 2010.]

Apparently using the term "Urban" to refer to Black people, culture, art, and music is a recurring Hussie-ism, even in Homestuck. Rose also uses this a couple times, notably more than Dave does. It sees more usage in Problem Sleuth as well- unsurprising, considering it is an older work than Homestuck is.

[Homestuck, Act 4, page 1590- March 17, 2010.]

[Homestuck, [o], page 3879- July 2, 2011.]

[Problem Sleuth, page 62- March 15, 2008.]

TL;DR: I don't think there's any real excuse to leave Hussie's racism out of genuine discussion of the contents of his works. It's obvious. The only valid defense for leaving it out of analytical conversations is ignorance, because... Well, some people just aren't that observant. Homestuck does not exist in a vacuum. Hussie did, in fact, write this, and Hussie is, in fact, bigoted. Bigotry shows throughout their works not because they're spinning a grand narrative of overcoming your moral failings, but because they kind of just suck. Dave isn't an exception, and shouldn't be divorced from the context of having been written by Andrew Hussie. There's no debate to be had over the existence of Hussie's bigotry, because contesting such a clear cut fact is pure stupidity. It's like arguing that evolution isn't real because you, personally, do not understand it, or don't find it comforting. Hussie's bigotry is one of the only things we can be 100% sure is a real part of his personhood, rather than another figment of his ironic online persona. The level of "Well, Actually"-ism people will engage in over this is mind-numbing, quite frankly.

Thank you for the ask- people being aware of the racism in Homestuck keep me sane. Have a lovely day.

[beljar]

From the beginning, the Zionist “redemption of the land” was associated with the so-called “revival of Hebrew” (Saposnik, 2010), with “Hebrew” being used in relation to a range of issues beyond the tongue one speaks. Hebrew became a marker of nationality, with references to ideas such as the “Hebrew nation”; it became (as part of this mark of nationality) the idiom organizing economic relations, particularly in the Zionist campaign for “Hebrew labor” (Avoda Ivrit) that was, in fact, a call to boycott Arab workers in the Jewish colonies (see Khalidi, 1997; Shafir, 1989); and it played a role in transforming space and reclaiming Jewish ownership while negating the indigenes’ claims to the land, via toponymic changes (replacing Arabic with Hebrew names) and remapping projects, which are at the core of settler colonial movements (Abu El Haj, 2001; Benvenisti, 2002; Masalha, 2007). On all these different levels, “Hebrew” was the mark and tool of the de-Arabization of the land.

In addition, language helped in shaping the racial contours of the land's inhabitants. After being one of the basic elements in the orientalization of Jews in Europe through the creation of the “Semite” as a linguistic-racial category (Anidjar, 2007), language (this time Hebrew, rather than “Semitic” languages) became one of the key elements in the de-orientalizing of the Jew: Hebrew was able to “return” to the east, to become the language of the land (Palestine), only after it was reconstructed as a European language, dissociated from its oriental and Semitic origins. Rather than being conceived as an indigenous language rooted in the historic and contemporary East—a relative, as it were, of Arabic—Hebrew thus became part of the westernization of the land.

The demand to speak Hebrew was, accordingly, entangled with the demand to abandon, simultaneously and relatedly, Arabic and (Arab) native-ness. The Arab-Jews were caught up in this effort to eliminate Arabic as part of an effort to displace Arabs. Arabic, their own language, was gradually labeled a foreign language, and then the language of the enemy.

When does a native become a settler? by Yuval Evri, Hagar Kotef, 15 June 2020

[dahlia-shifts]

Introduction (NCT DR)

I promised I'll be making intros to my DRs, so let's start off with my Main DR ! I have not shifted to this DR yet, but it's the one I try to shift to almost every night and it's one of the two DRs that stay consistent in my scripts !

Time ratio : 1 Hour CR = 5 Months DR (I know it may seem like a lot, but I really want to experience as much as I can on each shift.

First shift : November, 2015. I will be shifting to the day I get picked to debut in NCT. The next couple of months will be filled with practicing and getting to know the members. I want to live through these moments, and not just remember them as memories. The morning of my first shift will be filled with my own training, going to vocal lessons, study sessions, since I don't attend school, and by the end of the day, I get called to a meeting, where I find out I'm set to debut with NCT.

Personal Info

Name : (CR name) ; Jung Soobin (Korean Name)

D.O.B : December 08, 2000

Age As Of First Shift : 14

Zodiac Sign : Sagittarius

Height : 150 cm (As Of First Shift)

Nationality : Korean-Bulgarian

Ethnicity : Slavic/Bulgarian

Idol Info

Stage Name : Dahlia

Training Period : Since early 2010

Positions : Main Dancer, Lead Vocalist, Lead Rapper, Face Of The Group, Maknae (127)

Debut : The 7th Sense (NCT U - April 09, 2016) ; Fire Truck (NCT 127 - July 10, 2016) ; Chewing Gum (NCT Dream - August 27, 2016)

Timeline

DEC.08.00

Born in Bulgaria.

2000-2005

Going to kindergarten in Bulgaria. My parents get promoted at their workplace, which requires us to move to Seoul, SK.

2005-2009

Going to public school, but not being able to make many friends. Getting bullied often, so taking up a hobby, which is dancing. I begin dancing every night to popular K-Pop songs in my room, and deciding that becoming an idol is my dream.

OCT.2009

I begin auditioning for SM, YG, JYP, but am continuously rejected for being too young, not being able to sing and rap. I go to every audition I can, which my family soon finds out about. I get scolded a lot afterwards, but I decide to prove everyone wrong, so I begin training in my room to sing and rap.

DEC.2009

I decide to audition for SM Ent. one last time. The judges already know me by then. They give me one last chance, and after a lot of mumbling from their side, they tell me they will call me soon.

JAN.2010

I begin training under SM Ent. There aren't many trainees my age, so I befriend older trainees, which are Sehun (EXO), Johnny (NCT), Irene (Red Velvet). Soon after I begin training, my family informs me that they will be moving back to Bulgaria, where my older brother can receive better higher education there, so I am left alone in Seoul. They tell me to come with them, but becoming an Idol is my dream, so I refuse, to which they get furious, and tell me never to contact them ever again.

2011-2012

I become great friends with Yeri (Red Velvet) and we train together, aligned for the same group. We are roommates, so we become good friends the moment she becomes a trainee. I've gone no contact with my family, aside from my aunt, uncle and cousin. I also befriend Mark (NCT), but we get close due to me not being able to speak good Korean and communicating in English instead (same situation with Johnny). He helps me improve both my English, and my Korean.

The rest of the years leading up to my debut are honestly kind of boring but some key moments are :

Not debuting with Yeri

Becoming the greatest friends with Donghyuck/Haechan (NCT), which we still are to this day

Dating History

Vernon ( Seventeen ) May 19 2017 - January 11, 2018, 8 months Age Difference : 2 years Reason for break up : Falling off, companies finding out.

Juyeon (The Boyz) October 16 2018 until August 15 2019, almost 10 months Age Difference : 2 years Reason for break up : He was cheating on me

Taeyong (NCT) February 10 2020-January 10 2021; March 11 2021 - ongoing Age Difference : 5 years Reason for a break : Fans speculating our relationship, so we didn't know how they would react if they were proven right, so we decided to take a break

[blackgirlsuperherorants]

Alright, thoughts on Kaos, after watching the first three episodes. I'm going to try to keep this more organized than it's gonna wanna come out, but no promises lmao.

I REALLY want to like the show. In fact, I don't hate it, strictly speaking. It's... interesting? But it's also a really frustrating watch, for me. I guess the biggest problem for me is that it very much feels like a show that would have worked better if it was made 15 years ago. Like, it's a very late 2000s, early 2010s show. Which isn't terrible, but compared to other recent shows in the fantasy genre, it just feels like... something that would've been edgy and boundary-pushing in like 2009, but falls flat in 2024.

And I hate to do a lot of comparing, but as a creator, as a writer, as a show runner, they needed to expect comparison to happen. Especially when they're dealing with figures from one of the most studied, most read, and most adapted mythologies in human history. And like, yes, please do your own take on Greek gods-- on Greek myth in general. I am not expecting a 1 to 1 interpretation, and the fact that the show is doing it's own thing with these figures is not a problem for me. It's just not hitting. And in a time when there are VERY POPULAR books, movies, shows, and plays using these same characters and telling versions of these same stories, like... you gotta compete. You gotta pay attention to what others have recently and popularly done with the stories, and yours has to be as good or better or it's just going to fall short. And for me, that's what's happened, here, with Kaos. I'm going to try to go into detail about what I think works well and what I think isn't working, so be mindful of spoilers.

Their version of Zeus... I dunno. I like him, I guess? But I'm not sure if that's just because Jeff Goldblum is very interesting to watch or not. I think the thing they got really right about Zeus, and many of the other gods depicted here, is the casual cruelty and indifference. A lot of shows and movies about these Greek deities are either afraid to depict them as too cruel (making them Good Guys TM), or make them just villains-- rarely is the balance met well. And, well, I think that's one of the things that this show does best. When Hera disguises herself as Zeus and fucks Zeus's little human lover, then makes the girl go through a full pregnancy in seconds and turns her into a bee and makes Zeus kill the baby-- that was GREAT. I hated it and loved it because it was so mean and cruel and Zeus just snapped the baby's neck like it was nothing, because it was nothing to him. A very good depiction, in my opinion, of how cruel these gods can be without even an ounce of remorse for the mortal they're being cruel to.

But, again, I dunno if I like what the show is doing with Zeus, in particular, or if I'd just enjoy watching Jeff Goldblum read the phonebook for 9 hours straight, you know?

Hera? She's wonderful. 10/10, no notes. I love this Janet McTeer as Hera, I love the way Hera is depicted, I love the way she looks. She eats.

Now, to my biggest problems with the series, and I apologize in advance because I have A LOT OF FEELINGS about it. I've been ranting about it every time I try to sit through episodes.

Let's start with my beloved Dionysus. Now, I want to be clear: Nabhaan Rizwan is great as Dionysus. He is giving such a good performance, it's just... something is lacking. Which makes me feel like it's on the creative side. Like, it's the direction or the writing or something that is off. So, they're obviously going for this... like... youthful boredom, with Dionysus. Dionysus is often depicted as, like, one of the youngest gods, and his whole thing is theatre, wine, debauchery, pleasure... so, yeah, having him be this kinda youthful party boy is perfect. I get it 100%. I just think the idea they had is SO GOOD and wasn't well executed at all. Here is where comparison is going to come in, so I apologize in advance if this is a problem for you--

We live in a time of very good television. Okay? And the trope they're going for with Dionysus is something we have seen done extremely well. Even, like... Klaus from Umbrella Academy fits that trope, and was done extremely well. The way they're trying to depict Dionysus is very pansexual, very life of the party, very "knows everyone who is anyone at all the spots", very "casual sex just because." And like, we LOVE those characters. Bratty disasters who live in the moment and are perpetually into some shit. And we've seen so many versions of them on recent television shows that, while ALL different, were all executed way better than this version of Dionysus. Lestat on AMC's Interview With The Vampire. Blackbeard on Our Flag Means Death. Klaus, as I mentioned before. The whole disaster bi/pan dude thing.

Dio, in comparison, seems very half-baked. Very 2009. I think out of all of the characters, he feels the most 2009, you know? Like, back when making a bi/pan character was edgy, and even then, it wasn't explicit or was even played for laughs. I know this is a comedy, but so is Our Flag Means Death, you know? And even when the whole Blackbeard/Stede thing was funny, it was never because being queer is funny. And like... this show DID THAT with Dionysus. There's a moment where he goes into The Cave with Orpheus and he casually orders drinks from the (male) bartender, and the bartender flips him off-- implying some prior knowledge of each other-- and then Dio goes off to have a quickie with the bartender. And like... he's getting fucked by the man, and in that moment it didn't feel like... like a male character having desire for a man and having a sexual tryst with him. It felt like "isn't it funny that Dionysus is getting FUCKED in the ASS?!" Which, like... no? Like, that's so 2009. It's so passe to play the gay for laughs. Like, even in other fantasy comedies, like What We Do in the Shadows and Our Flag Means Death-- the CHARACTERS are funny, but their same-sex attraction never is. It's not funny that Stede and Blackbeard fall for each other-- it's lovely.

And let's be clear-- I'm not expecting Dio to "fall for" the bartender or anything, but it's clear that they were going for "Dio is a fuckboy who has probably had casual sex with this man before, and probably scorned him in some way, and so he uses the casual quickie to make up with the guy and possibly get free drinks." Cute, fun, I like that. I don't like HOW they did that idea. Like, Dio did not react like someone who enjoys getting fucked. He reacted like a straight boy playing getting fucked in the ass for laughs. IDK.

To be fair, this version of Dionysus is very bored with his whole debauchery schtick and we do see him boredly getting his cock sucked by a girl in a club in an early scene, too. But even that looked more like someone who enjoys getting their cock sucked but is just bored, and less just... "it's funny because of what it is." Does that make sense? IDK.

Like, it feels like a direction problem. Because this Dionysus seems to work very well on paper, and the actor doesn't seem poorly cast, to me. It just seems... executed like it's directed by a dudebro older man who was very cool in the 2000s and still thinks the way dude filmmakers thought in the 2000s.

Then there's the Orpheus.

2/10. I do not... like him. And like, not because of the story-- we all know Orpheus and Eurydice. (Which is part of the problem.)

I think it's because he very much gives CHRIS MARTIN, gives COLDPLAY, and not in a good way. Like, yeah, I like Coldplay alright. They're fine. But for ORPHEUS? Orpheus' whole thing is that his music is supposed to be... extremely special. Like, nobody is touching him. His music is so beautiful it can like... literally change the world. Move the gods. All of that.

And they chose to make him... COLDPLAY? This man whose music is the most special, beautiful thing anyone has ever heard. Like, I don't understand that music direction choice. At all. Who... decided that this was the move? I need something otherworldly. Something ethereal. Like, when he's playing the piano at The Cave for the fates in an attempt to get them to allow him to go into the underworld to retrieve Eurydice's soul... as soon as he started, I was like "This basic ass piano." Like, THAT IS NOT "the greatest, most beautiful music-- music that breaks your heart so much that you'd let him defy the gods and get his lost love back." It sounded like he was playing Christmas hymns at the Christmas morning service. Basic as fuck.

And again, I hate, hate that I have to compare, but YOU CANNOT GIVE SUCH A MEDIOCRE MUSICAL PERFORMANCE IN A WORLD WHERE HADESTOWN EXISTS. Like, we cannot hear Reeve Carney give the most beautiful performances of the most heartwrenching songs in a hit Broadway musical as the same character, and then you give us Chris Martin playing Christmas hymns.

Again, you are allowed to make your own interpretations, and the showrunner did not need to try to copy Hadestown. That is not what I mean. But you need to pay attention to what perhaps the most popular telling of that myth OF ALL TIME did, and you need to try to match or exceed it. Why even both with Orpheus and Eurydice if you're not going to slay us with the music? YOU NEED TO SLAY US WITH THE MUSIC! THAT'S ORPHEUS' WHOLE THING!

Honestly, full stop, even though they have every right to tell their own versions of these stories and create their own versions of these characters, you're fighting an uphill battle when AMERICAN GODS, PERCY JACKSON, and HADESTOWN exist and have done EXTREMELY WELL and been EXTREMELY POPULAR touching this same mythology. You have to MATCH OR EXCEED. Because why would I want to sit through your mediocre Orpheus when I could listen to Hadestown and hear a far superior Orpheus?

Now, their Eurydice? She is beautiful. She is fierce. She is heartbreaking. I love her. Hera and Eurydice are the best characters on the show, and the only ones I just full-on like without much complaint.

And maybe the point is that the men suck? IDK. Like, I don't give a fuck about this Orpheus. I'm not sad for him. His reaction to Eurydice's death is selfish and not at all heartbreaking. I don't even believe him that he wants to go into the underworld to retrieve her. I feel like Dionysus wants it more than he does. But Euridyce. I feel so sad for her. She lost her mother to Hera's cult. She dies tragically. Her stupid husband took her coin, so she can't even pass through to be Renewed and have a new life. She wasn't happy in her marriage, and she isn't happy in her death, and all I want is for her to succeed.

IDK if their goal was for us to dislike Orpheus, but if that is the goal, they've succeeded. Like, I want my heart to break for Orpheus. But I just feel like he's shitty. And I don't care about him at all.

And the other thing was small, but Theseus and Nax being in love was brushed over and not fully explicit and the Nax actor didn't play it well enough. Theseus actor was believably in love and heartbroken that Nax might die at Minos' hands, but Nax was almost playful, like his whole purpose was to reveal that Theseus was not for Ariadne rather than to truly be Theseus' lover. Which, again, feels like a director problem. They WROTE "Theseus is revealed to be gay and in love with Nax, the secret prince of Troy". He DIRECTED "and then we learn that Theseus is actually gay and Nax sassily reveals it to Ariadne because lol they're gay and she doesn't get the man isn't that amusing?" Which, again, is very 2009. Very "see? It's EDGY, the character is GAY! But not too gay, because eww, amirite?" And like, again, in a decade in which we have OUR FLAG MEANS DEATH and INTERVIEW WITH THE VAMPIRE, that just doesn't work anymore. We have pirates and vampires being openly gay and kissing and being casual about how in love they are with their partners... and you play your gay Theseus as if it's edgy just to imply he's in love with this prince and that you don't need to show us that he is because you let the prince call him "babe" and let their hands touch a bit and let Theseus cry for him. Like? Coward shit, man, it's so outdated. I don't know how else to say it. Like, even having Nax just show an ounce of empathy for his partner who is terrified that he is going to be executed would have been enough, but Nax was just sassy and smirking and resigned to his fate as if it was just words on a script. Even a man who knew he was probably going to die because of his actions to save his people should have more emotion and conflict than just "Oh well, I'm not afraid to die, lol, Theseus babe stop crying omg lol"

Anyway, I think this was more negative than positive. But... I like the modern setting. I think it's fun. Very "Romeo + Juliet", which is I think what they were actually going for. I love the Fates and the Furies. I think they look so cool, and I think the gnc Fates was a great choice. I liked their Poseidon. Didn't like their Hades and Persephone, but there's nothing wrong with them, actually. I just don't like what they did with them personally.

I like Prometheus, and I like that he's serving as the narrator. I think that's interesting. I like that Zeus keeps summoning him and sending him back-- again, that casual cruelty thing that the show does so well. (Also, when Poseidon drowns the servant girl for no reason. That was very fun. Just, perfect Poseidon behavior-- he's such a piece of shit, and I love that this show decided to show us that.)

I also like the story it's trying to tell, with the three humans who are prophesized to bring down Zeus/the gods. I'm interested in seeing how that works out, and especially in seeing Eurydice's role in it. The show has a REALLY good premise, and has some REALLY nice elements. It's just, honestly, the execution that leaves something to be desired. Like, I feel like I'm pulling my hair out every time I try to watch an episode. Like, I pause every few minutes just to rant about something.

And to be fair, I'm a mythology girlie. I read a lot of mythology. I watch a lot of mythology shows and movies. I listen to mythology podcasts. Like, it's my special interest. But also, I understand completely when people adapt these myths to tell their own versions, or use these characters in their stories in ways that don't match the mythologies. I understand, and I've even done it myself. And so does the mythology. There are so many different versions of these gods, of their myths, so many different ways they were worshipped and things they were worshipped for-- it's perfectly on-brand to change them in your own ways for your own purposes. I don't think that's my problem with Kaos. I just think... I don't like how it was executed. It's a very "sounds good on paper" show, at this point. And I feel for the cast, because they're not doing a terrible job. It really feels like the problems are on the director/producer side. I even think what the writers wrote sounds better than what the creative team did with it.

And... that's all I'll say. I'm still going to finish the season. Maybe I'll give final thoughts after I finish the season. Sometimes things that you think are problems are there to pay something off in the end. But some of these things, IDK, I just think they're problems in general. And, like... I'm kinda disappointed, because I really want to like this show, and right now, I can't say that I do.