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#and talk shit about me when they think I can't hear
hencheri · 2 days
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18+. mdni.
pairing: mean toxic bf!haechan x fem!reader
warnings: noncon, toxic relationship, gaslighting.
wc: 1.2k
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you're watching a movie in the living room, but you're distracted, focused on your thoughts instead of the flashing screen in front of you. it's 3 a.m. and you can hear haechan playing video games in your bedroom.
he hasn't talked to you for hours, hasn't said a word or even looked in your way. it's bothering you a lot. you have a constant knot in your stomach and your heart accelerates at the mere thought of haechan ignoring you.
you hate when he does this, it makes you feel bad. so fucking bad.
you get up from the couch, going to your bedroom. you push the door open, hesitantly walking in. you need to talk to him.
"hyuck?"
he stares at his computer's screen, pressing down on the keys of his keyboard, concentrated on his game. his has his headset on, maybe he hasn't heard you.
"johnny!" haechan calls into his microphone, "quick, come save me."
"hyuckie..." you stand beside him and you know he can see you from the corner of his eye. you bite down on your bottom lip, waiting for an answer that doesn't come.
he continues to play like you're not there. it upsets you so much, could he not be petty for once?
"we need to talk, please," you demand, still trying to get his attention. you know he hears you now since he's quiet.
a few seconds pass before he replies back, "we have nothing to say."
you sigh, exasperated. there are plenty of things you need to discuss about actually, and not just what happened a couple of hours ago. it makes you cringe thinking about the previous events, but you can't just brush it off, especially when haechan's still sour about it.
you were both in bed about to go sleep soon. he made a move, touching your hips up and down, pressing his crotch against your butt. you weren't in the mood, so you told him to stop. he didn't at first and you pushed him away, which really offended him.
he then turned on his pc before you could say anything and you went to the living to watch a movie, a poor attempt to forget about this ridiculous fight.
"but-" you begin, a little annoyed, "we do."
your voice is covered by johnny yelling something to haechan, once again ignored by your boyfriend. "here, here, here! i need to heal you," he yells back, fingers hurriedly pressing down on the keys, "shit, these guys are rough."
"hyuck-" you try, placing your hand on his arm, but he grabs your wrist before you can and shoves your hand away.
you frown, hurt by his action.
"what? we won!?" haechan exclaims, brows shooting up in surprise. you hear johnny talking back without deciphering his words. "ah, they missed the base," he laughs, "yeah, it was close."
he removes his headset and puts it on his desk. but he still decides to not acknowledge you, even when his game is done.
"please," you beg a bit desperately.
"what's the matter?" he sighs loudly, throwing his head back against the headrest of his chair.
"haechan! you've just ignored me the whole night! you can't always do that," you explain to him even though he'll probably only understand what he wants as usual.
he rolls his eyes, "yeah and it's always my fault, right?" he says.
"what- no, that's not-"
"it is," he affirms. he turns his head to you, "every time we so 'need to talk' it's about how i'm wrong, how i shouldn't do this or that, how i should just agree to everything you say and shut my mouth."
you're agape. is this really what he thinks you do? that you only want to complain about him?
"that's not true," you deny, "hyuck, i just want us to communicate, it's important."
he scoffs, "no, you're always the one talking. you don't actually want to hear what i have to say." he looks at you like he's hurt and you start wondering if he might be right. are you really that self-centred? "that's not really what i call communication, you know."
"do you ever ask yourself how i'm feeling? how constantly being rejected makes me feel?" he questions, his gaze not leaving you.
"i don't constantly reject you," you rectify. "sometimes i'm simply not in the mood to sleep with you..."
haechan winces upon hearing your words. "because you are for others?"
your eyes widen and your mouth falls open. that's not how you should have said it. "no, that's not what i meant-" but your boyfriend cuts you off, rising up from his gaming chair.
"yeah, no," he shakes his head, "you know what? i've had this feeling that you don't love me like you say you do." he goes around you and you follow him, wanting to reason with him, but he isn't done talking yet.
"we haven't fucked in days and the only thing you let me do is jerk off with your hand. how- how should i interpret that, huh?" haechan sounds genuinely hurt and upset, but that was never your intention to make him feel this way. how could he even doubt your love for him?
"hyuck, please, sit down," you ask, wrapping your hand around his arm to pull him back against you, but he slips away from you.
he turns around and faces you. "are you seeing someone else? is that why?" he suddenly bursts out and you're totally shocked.
"what? no way, how can you think that!?"
he approaches you and this time, you're the one stepping back until the back of your thighs hit the edge of the bed. you look up at haechan, heart beating faster and faster.
"you're not denying it," he points out, now only a few inches separating you from him. "you're cheating on me... how can you be so fucking heartless?"
you shake your head from side to side, gulping down. this isn't true. you've always stayed faithful to your boyfriend, but the knot in your throat prevents you from speaking up, eyes swelling up in tears.
he clasps his hand around your bicep, digging his fingers into your flesh, pulling you flushed to his chest.
"i can't believe it," he breathes out, "my girlfriend is a fucking whore."
you're still in shock when he crashes his mouth on you, smacking his lips to yours and pushing his tongue inside. your whines are muffled, weak hands pushing on his chest to get him off of you, but to no avail.
you fall on the bed and haechan crushes you with his weight, trapping you under him. you squirm around, not liking the way he doesn't listen to your protests and how he forces himself on you.
his lips descend to your neck, planting quick kisses as if he's in a hurry, going down to the valley of your breasts.
"hyuck, please, stop," you cry, but he doesn't listen.
his fingers hook into your shorts, pulling them down with your underwear, too. your breath is caught in your throat, only exhaling when you feel the familiar push of his cock inside of your unprepared pussy.
"you're mine," he moans, the squeeze of your cunt around him making him frown, "when will you finally understand it..."
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all im saying is ✨Logan with a knot✨ and Wade overstimulating you bc you cant get away -🦐
shrimp anon more like shrimp COLORS bro your vision is INSANE!!!!!!
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soooo idk conventional a/b/o rules and i kinda don't care so im picturing a heat cycle as once a month endeavour. and bc you're on T you're a HORNY motherfucker and you're angry and violent so it's basically whoever can get their hands on you or knot in you first will take care of you. then as long as you get bred at least once you're fine. then you calm down and it's big aftercare hours bc your post-heat clarity endorphins are going CRAZY
now since your heat only comes once a month, wade treats it as a special occasion. and it wouldn't be fair of him to do the honors EVERY month, now would it?
so even though he's home with you, and logan's not, and won't be for a while, wade wilson will refuse to fuck you. it's not his turn. he did it last month.
and your heat is MISERABLE. imagine the worst period cramp you ever had, combined with hot flashes, searing rage, and it gives your cunt the sensitivity of a fucking bear trap. you'll clamp down on anything that touches you.
so no matter how much you suffer. no matter if you scream, cry, beg, grovel, bite, or commit acts of gratuitous violence against him.
he will hold out.
he will hold out until logan gets home and finds you naked, cuffed to the bed by your hands and ankles, a chewy ball-gag in your mouth getting crushed by your gritting teeth, and wade's holding a wand vibrator to your cunt.
he waves gayly at logan, "hey pinkie pie, merry christmas! wanna come open your gift?"
"jesus christ, are you fucking torturing him?! the hell is wrong with you?!"
"with ME?! where's your holiday spirit?"
logan just stares at him blankly, puzzled by what this psychotic dipshit could possibly be talking about. in response, and in the spirit of the season, wade sings him a song.
"🎼it's the mooost wonderful tiiiiime, of the mooonth~!🎵"
now he gets it.
"oh... okay. so then why did you tie him down like that?"
"well, we had a little INCIDENT earlier..."
--
you had managed to grab one of wade's guns and shot him in the chest
"OW!!! you RESOURCEFUL little shit!!! GRRR, oh~ mysweetboybabydarling i'msoproudofyou, butnoi'mnot, BAD BOY!!!"
--
"no, i mean why didn't you take care of him your-fucking-self, wilson? you really gotta make this my problem as soon as i walk in the fuckin' door?"
"your PROBLEM?! i hand you some prime-time, limited-edition, hot and bothered, ripe for the breeding, tranny boy BUSSY on a silver platter, and that's somehow NOT where your dick wants to spend its evening? am i hearing that right? please tell me i'm not. please tell me you're not this stupid, pookie bear."
instead of arguing back, logan goes quiet. he's thinking. and then, he laughs. that low, husky laugh that you have when you're marveling at the nerve of whatever dumb motherfucker is talking to you. or maybe, when that dumb motherfucker is making a point.
"heh... y'know what? fine." logan angrily strips his clothes off, one by one. his tanktop, "you want me to be the one to knot him? huh?" his belt, his jeans "can't do anything yourself, can ya?" and lastly, his boxers. then he grabs his cock and shakes it at wade.
"so then get me hard, you faggot." he clicks his tongue twice. "c'mon."
wade throws himself at logan's knees and gives him that gawkgawk4000turbotyphoon treatment to get him up. logan sighs in relaxation, grateful that wade was putting his mouth to such better use. once his eyes flutter open, he nods at you, finally giving you even a modicum of attention while you're under intense distress, and he merely waves at you nonchalantly, like how a pedestrian does to a car that lets him cross.
"hang tight, bub. be with ya in a second."
wade works him over until his knot is just barely starting to swell. he then takes his fattened cock and slaps wade across the face with it.
"take his chains off."
"hm... are you sure you want me to do that, princess? he's feisty, y'know. might get yourself bit, if you're not careful."
logan slaps wade again, but this time it's a bitchslap, using the back of his hand. and his claws.
"take. his fucking. chains off."
"mmm, right AWAY, your majesty~!"
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Beside You...
Pro Hero Bakugo ♡ Pro Hero Reader
Friends to Lovers
Summary: Bakugo always held victory close to his heart, but he held you closer.
From being kids in the playground, to freshly new homeowners talking about marriage, and til you both took your last breaths with a smile... you were the thing he held closest.
(This is Bruno Mars and Lady Gaga's fault for cooking up Die With A Smile. Had me in my feels.🫠)
TW: ANGST !! and some suggestive writing but no smut. Read at own risk.
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Age 6
Bakugo knew from a young age who he's supposed to be. Even as kids change their future occupation to astronauts to doctors, he never had doubt. He was meant to be a hero. He was meant to protect you.
"Hey! Stop pulling my hair it's not funny!"
The young blonde hears your cries from a mile away as two of the older kids from the playground tug your hair and take your toy away.
"Or what? you're just a pathetic weakling who can't even fight back." The two kids laugh as they continue to torment you.
Suddenly, a big explosion was directed at the two bullies sending them flying. Bakugo had never had such perfect precision with his quirk before. It was his first perfect and biggest shots he's had since his quirk manifestation.
"Die you extras! If you even think about bullying her again, I'll blow you to bits!" He barked like a high squeaking chihuahua standing in front of your body that was thrown down from the blast. Safe to say you never saw those bullies again.
"Get up. Your dress is going to get dirty." Bakugo huffs, sounding angry but still holding his hand out with a blush.
Your eyes widen as you take his hand to get up, and you give him a big hug, causing him to be taken aback.
"You're my hero!"
Bakugo never went to the park without you after that. Not if both of your parents wanted to deal with constant crying/yelling from the two of you...
Age 14
After the U.A. exams, you and Bakugo sit in his room as you hold your head in your hands in defeat.
"Stop sulking. You don't even know if you got rejected yet." He says in his usual huff but still holds your hair back.
You mailed your results to his house so you could open it together.
"Easy for you to say. You had the highest points. I swear it took me forever to get one robot when I was too busy saving others from getting mauled by theirs." Y/n sighs as she reflects on the exams.
"I don't know Kats, I think I did better in the Shiketsu exam than I did U.A. I'll probably only be getting the acceptance there." You groan as you wipe some tears from your face.
"Shut up. You don't know shit yet." He said earning a scoff.
"I know I did dog shit at the exam, and that's enough. Sorry to say, but I don't think we'll be in the same class, or even the same school."
"I'll go to Shiketsu then."
You let out an audible laugh before looking at his face, dropping you smile instantly.
"Holy shit. You're serious?" You say before shaking your head. "No, you can't. Your dream is UA. Don't be switching shit up just because of me." You say before turning your body towards him.
"I don't care where I get my license at. I'm still going to be number one. No matter what. Beside can't be training if your ass is getting into trouble the whole other side of town",He said, rolling his eyes as he looked away from your widened gaze.
"Katsuki-," you say before getting cut off.
"Don't make a big deal out of it, princess." He quips, signaling to you that's the end of the discussion. He's going where you go.
Silence falls between the two of you until the sound of a car is heard right after. You both rush to get the letters and begin to open them. Revealing two holograms of All Might congratulating them on their acceptances to Class 1-A.
You grab him and jump up and down from excitement.
"See you idiot. You were overreacting." He says with his usual smirk. You roll your eyes. Maybe you were being a bit dramatic.
"Yeah, but still.." You say before kissing his cheek, causing him to freeze up. You smile at him.
"Thank you for wanting to cheer me up and wanting to stay by me."
His stares at your beautiful smile before looking away.
"Tch. Always, you big baby." He says before pulling you into his arms as you laugh.
Your romantic relationship didn't wait long after that moment.
Age 22
"Last fucking box." Bakugo grunts putting down the box down in the empty living room filled with the rest of the labeled boxes. While your slumped body lays on the couch, you just assembled.
Something about wanting to make the house feel more homey for the time being or procrastination for unpacking Bakugo calls it. Still, he takes the opportunity to lay next to you.
"Why didn't we just keep our apartment." You groan as you look at him. He glares at you.
"You were the one that suggested buying the house in full, princess." He said. They both earned quite a bit the last year and had money to spare.
"Besides, that place was getting too cramped for all our shit. You know this already." He says before grabbing your face as you pout.
"Ugh, but now we have to unpack all of this." You say as he smushes your cheeks. You wrap your arm around him.
You both lean in for a kiss, embracing the comfort of the couch. You both pull away and sit up, looking at all the boxes.
"Cmon, get your ass up and help me unpack." He says, trying to reach for a box before you blurt out.
"Let's get married today."
Just as he thinks you can never surprise him, you say shit like that.
He was planning on marrying you, like hell he would buy a house just for a girlfriend. You were his first and only, no doubt. But he didn't expect how this would play out.
"What?" He says in a shell-shocked tone.
"The court house doesn't close til 9. We still have time to make it over there. So what do you say." Going up to him with a sheepish smile.
"Fuck no." He says to you while you pause, smile dimming while thinking you misinterpreted his goals with you.
"Oh. Okay. Yeah, it was stupid ide - "You say before getting interrupted.
"Fuck that's not what I meant, Babe." He says before grabbing your pulling away figure.
"I wanna marry your ass, but I'm not doing it at a courthouse just because you're trying to avoid moving into our damn house." He says before peppering you with kisses. His grip on you tightening.
"I just needed to make sure that meant moving into a home meant what I thought it meant." You mumble between kisses. Wrapping your arms around his neck.
"Of course it does, dumbass." He says, deepening the kiss as he walks and pulls you down to the couch. Falling into each other's embrace.
It's definitely a creative way of getting comfortable in the new home.
Age 45
"Fucking shit" Bakugo groans after the building collapsed on the two of you by the villian you both were trying to stop for months now.
"Katsuki." You weakly groan beneath him as the raging headache ensued from the collision of the building.
Bakugo look around them, sighing in relief as he realizes his wife is okay, and so is he. He tries to get but stops when he hears you yelp in pain.
"Stop, don't move, Katsuki!" You breathe tiredly. Only then does Bakugo look down and see the large metal bar piercing the two of you together. It's shocking the two of you are still alive.
Bakugo looks into your eyes as you whimper in pain. His adrenaline is beginning to stop as he winces in pain, too. But he puts on a brave face.
"Shh.. Fuck. It's okay, baby. We're going to get out of here okay, rescue shouldn't take long." He now says breathlessly holding you close.
You smile weakly at him, grabbing caressing his face.
"You're no liar, Katsuki. It's okay." You say while your voice cracks with emotion. He grits his teeth as tears spill out of his eyes.
"I'm sorry... I can't save us this time, baby " He says, choking on tears and blood. Your tears beging to spill, too.
"There was still so much I wanted to do with you." He sobs out as you listen, sobbing too.
"Fuck, we should've stopped ages ago, our stubborn asses. Should've retired early, go on a vacation, fuck maybe even had a child or two." He huffs out in a sad laughter as you both realize just how different your lives could've been if you had stopped being heroes year before.
Maybe your guy's death would have been more peaceful; one with old gray hair and wrinkles.
You give out a weak laugh. Your vision starts to get smaller, so you try to soak up every last detail of your husband's face.
"I don't regret this." You say choking on your blood. He stares lovingly into your eyes. His vision too slowly giving out.
"I loved that I got to spend every moment with you, Kats. I fucking love you're annoying ass so much. I couldn't imagine breathing without you next to me." You say with a weak smile, gasping for air with each pause.
Bakugo weakly smiles back at you as he brushes the debris off your face. Taking your beauty in for the final time.
"Good thing we don't have to" He says his final comeback as he pulls you in and puts his lips on yours.
Taking each other's final breath...
[If] our time on Earth was through, I'd wanna hold you just for a while, and die with a smile.
If the world was ending, I wanna be next to you~♡
Alternative Happy Ending
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Shut up, I'm not crying you are 😭.
It's literally one of the most emotional pieces I've ever written in my life.
Blame Bruno Mars and Lady Gaga. 😭
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the-raindeer-king · 3 days
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Are we discussing the 141 as monsters👁️👄👁️
I really like to think that somehow, after Soap's... Events. And forgive me, I don't have much to explain with but it's a thought I love
Soap comes back. Something so close to normal, except he has a scar where he was shot.
And sometimes it might be an eye. Sometimes it might be a dark blot, when really hyped up, it's like a stream of eyes of different colors and shapes and intensity just pour from that injury. Sharp, jagged motions and shapes, almost like the explosions he works with.
He can't be caught off guard again, essentially
I suppose it could be called Eldritch in a sense. He's kinda unknown as a monster, unpredictable, chaotic but he knows, he gets it, even if others don't or can't see or understand the entirety. Idk 🤷‍♀️
Love to hear your thoughts on what kinda creatures the 141 would be as monsters outside of the classic, werewolf vampire (or if you think those are fitting tbh, I'm just curious)
Anon, this is big brain shit. I'm so proud of you. Everyone's getting gold stars tonight. As for the 141 as monsters, I have a few different thoughts.
Ghost - I mean, obviously he works well for an undead type of monster. I think Eldritch Ghost is also a really fun idea. He doesn't have to worry about keeping his face the same, since it's always covered. Just need to keep the body shape from slipping up. Everyone talks about how silent he is, when in reality it's just Ghost slipping between shadows.
Price - I really enjoy Bear Shifter Price. Big hairy man who bulks up right before the winter, and lives in the woods, and is fiercely protective.
Soap - Werewolf Soap is good, classic. Fan favorite for a reason. Fae Soap is fun to think about too. Wild, charming, a little uncanny. Somehow always manages to escape in the nick of time. Also imagine Undead Soap, who came back from the dead and just... came back a little wrong. (also Selkie Soap! or Dullahan Soap! traditional Celtic monster Soap has my heart)
Gaz - I also enjoy Fae Gaz. He's almost too pretty, too charming. Easy to fall for his tricks because he just seems so kind and helpful. Gaz would also make a really cool merman, or a naga! Pretty boy with a pretty tail, scales that sparkle in the sunlight.
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link-lonk · 5 months
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The fuck is the point of someone reaching out to and reconnecting with you if they're only going to block you after a few months
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possamble · 5 months
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What are your headcanons about Marcille's mom if you have any? It's interesting that what drew Donato to her was cause she lived the history he studied, or that was said somewhere at least. She must've had an interesting life.
so this was going to be just a normal answer but then I realized I have a Lot of Things To Say. so here goes, a compilation of what we know for a fact from the canon, what I've extrapolated from the visual cues and details, and my theories based on all of that.
Things we know for a fact about Marcille's mother because they were explicitly stated in the manga and supplemental materials:
She was a court mage for a Tall-man kingdom at the southern part of the Northern Continent
Donato, a court historian, fell in love with her because she had lived through the history he was studying, and he courted her for 17 years (age 15 to 32) before getting married
She was a cheerful person who rarely showed extreme emotion and took things as they came
She always cooked a huge meal for Marcille on her birthdays
She remarried a gnome after Donato's death and a short distance away from Marcille's childhood home
Pipi, Marcille's pet bird, was actually older than Marcille and originally belonged to her mother (bird died at 62)
She was extremely heartbroken when Donato died and ultimately ended up instilling a deep fear of mortality in Marcille with her words
the only time she showed extreme emotion in front of her family was when Donato could no longer eat his favourite dish near the end of his life.
She scolded Marcille for being cruel to ants (implying she can have a stern side when needed)
Things that are explicitly shown but mostly through visual cues
She has a very distinctive style of dress always involving a ribbon choker (mirroring Marcille's habit of always wearing a matching choker with any of her outfits that don't cover her neck)
She was almost stereotypically good at housekeeping and traditionally "wifely" things (very frequently depicted wearing an apron or doing some domestic chore when not at work, seems to have been an avid cook).
She knits? (also, note the affectionate smile as she's looking at Donato and Marcille reading a book together in the full panel)
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She was as excited for Marcille's milestones as Donato was.
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She didn't tell Marcille much about elven food
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(there are a couple things that this panel in particular implies:
She lived a good deal of her life (if not being born and raised) in a mainly elven country in the West, implied by her knowing enough of an elven region's cuisine to prefer Tall-man food over it
seems to have a pretty carefree and casual demeanour overall, if this is how she replied to Marcille asking her about it (sounds like she never gave her culinary preferences that much thought to begin with)
slightly related to number 2, it seems like she and Marcille had a fairly casual parent-child dynamic (especially in comparison to the Toudens' memory of their father)
(local elf tastes Italian food once and never goes back))
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However, she seems a lot more... serious in most of the other times we see her? Almost like the very stereotypical archetype of a graceful elf.
Subsequent conclusions about her personality:
Usually pretty carefree and cheerful at home, has been a loving and attentive parent throughout Marcille's childhood (while not being so doting that she didn't discipline Marcille).
Slightly more conjectural theories on her personality:
Had a much more graceful and professional personality at work, which would explain the more serious portraits we see of her.
Given that both she and Donato had positions at the royal court, it seems a little odd that she'd go out of her way to do all the housework herself, so maybe she just enjoyed doing it?
Now taping all the evidence together and toeing the line between analysis and fanfiction:
It's clear that she loved Donato very much and was utterly devastated by losing him. But there's one thing that really stuck out to me in what little we see of her:
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Doesn't she seem... angry? The way she's gritting her teeth, clutching the tablecloth, and how this is the first and only time we see her eyes opened that wide. In the following panel, you see her being quiet and dejected after her initial outburst. She's still crying very intensely, but her brows are furrowed, and she's not really responding to Donato's affection in her body language.
We're not told the details of how she felt about losing Donato other than that it upset her. But this, to me, implies that she was angry and resented that he was aging, that the end of his life was approaching. An "it's not fair" type of preemptive grief. And if this was the first and last time she cried like this in front of her family, she was either very good at coping in private... or very bad at letting herself feel unpleasant emotions until they become unavoidable and end up overwhelming her.
It's not too remarkable a detail on the surface. It's even reminiscent of what the audience has seen of Marcille. But... when it comes to the big picture, you'd think an elf who voluntarily chose to marry a tall-man and have a half-elf child would have been better prepared for this.
It kind of recontextualizes her cheerfulness to me.
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"I'm sure everything's gonna be okay!" (or some variation thereof, depending on what translation you have).
And this is stated to contrast her extreme grief when finally confronting Donato's failing body and eventual death. But I'm wondering if... maybe this optimism was why she was so upset. What if she went into all of it thinking "everything's gonna be okay"? What if she was a little young by elven standards, and just followed her heart thinking that her own resilience would get her through anything?
Of course, only to get completely overwhelmed when she actually loses Donato. She turns into a completely different person. And that's heartbreaking on its own-- but what the audience sees is the effect it had on Marcille. Can you imagine being her, watching your invincible and upbeat mother suddenly lose all the light in her eyes in one go?
I've already made a huge post about how I think Marcille models her "work persona" off her mother, but another thing that stuck with me as I was looking for more details in the manga was this:
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copy pasting from the other post i made about it lmao it's like... the second she resigns herself to lifelong pain and terror, there's another portrait of her mother facing her like this. with their heads bowed, in mirrored body language of resignation and despair and sorrow. Except it's posed like Marcille is still looking at her mother but her mother is looking away.
It took me a second to realize, but I think that it's a visual metaphor for the fact that Marcille's mother was the only long-lived role model she had-- and she failed to model healthy grief for her daughter. I don't say this as an accusation or to disparage her as a character, but just as a matter of fact. In her, Marcille was seeing herself older and losing a short-lived spouse or loved one of her own, and all she saw was hopelessness.
But her mother didn't mean to instill hopelessness and terror in her. She wasn't really thinking of how it would truly affect Marcille at all (at least, that's how I'm interpreting her looking down and away from Marcille in the metaphor), she was just sad. And she, in her own way, was trying to protect her daughter and help her prepare for future losses.
What she meant was "loss is inevitable, and you have to learn how to be in pain but live on anyway." What Marcille heard was "loss is inevitable, and you will be scared and hurt for the rest of your life."
Again. Marcille's mother doesn't feature explicitly in the story the way her father does -- but in so many ways, her shadow, her silhouette, her reflection is always hanging over Marcille.
All that to say... headcanon-wise (everything from here on is 100% without evidence lmao), I'd like to think that she matured and realized that she failed Marcille. I imagine her being regretful about it, wanting a chance to fix it but never finding a way to insert herself back into Marcille's life when Marcille is so so so busy becoming the most accomplished mage possible. I imagine her being herself again, now, so many years after her loss and after remarrying -- but with her cheerfulness tempered with a lot more wisdom and the pain of having gone through loss like that. I think the second Marcille actually tells her what happened in the dungeon, she'd want to go running to her daughter again -- if Marcille tells her the full truth instead of just being embarrassed she let things get that far. (oh, the tragedy of her wanting to be more like her mother and an accomplished adult who doesn't need to be babied... being embarrassed to actually tell her mother how much she fucked up...)
There's also the tension of her having remarried -- I know that there's at least a little bit of resentment that Marcille harbours about that, because she's childish like that at heart even if she makes an effort not to externalize it. I think that her mother would be aware of that, potentially adding to her sense of guilt and apprehension at trying to reappear/intrude on Marcille's life. I honestly don't think Marcille has met her stepfather -- or even considers him a stepfather rather than "mama's new husband" and kind of a total stranger. I think she and her mother actively don't talk about it in their correspondence, like an elephant in the room.
but, ultimately, I think her mother is on her side no matter what. Ancient magic? Dark necromancy? Sure, she'll feel guilty and like she was partially responsible for setting Marcille down such a painful path, but she wouldn't care. that's her daughter!! she would've moved back west and been petitioning for her at the court, buying a house right next to the Canaries barracks and visiting her every day that she wasn't on a mission. And if her husband had opinions on Marcille becoming a "dark arts user," he either gets over it or it's divorce with him. Yes, she might have had her optimism completely humbled by losing Donato like that -- but she's still headstrong and self-assured and she doesn't care what people think of her. It's her way or the highway and she's always going to be in Marcille's corner.
(She also needs a name lol. I went with Juno, just to be cute about "Marcille"s closest real life equivalent being Marcella, which is the female version of Marcellus, which in turn is a diminutive of Marcus, which was derived from Mars. Absolutely in love with Marcille potentially being named after Ares/Mars the fucking god of war btw)
#asks#she could easily be interpreted as distant or neglectful after Donato's death too#with how little involvement she has in Marcille's life/the fact that Marcille doesn't even mention her when talking about her life prospect#and that's fair! I will argue to hell and back that she was a loving parent when Donato was alive#but there's nothing that suggests she remained a loving parent afterwards#I just think that like... parental relationships are so complicated in dungeon meshi#you cannot deny that the toudens' mother loved them dearly but that she failed them both miserably as a parent#and i think it'd be more compelling if Marcille's mother was a little like that too#not a totally and easily dismissable deadbeat#but someone who truly loves her daughter but was only human herself and couldn't be what Marcille needed at a crucial moment#and regrets it deeply#and that the distance between them is mutually self-imposed by complicated feelings of guilt and fear#and a little resentment from Marcille's side that she hasn't really properly processed#I don't know if I'll ever get around to writing it but i had this idea where Marcille does finally spill the beans to her mom and she just#immediately arrives in Melini#and its awkward for a bit but they do finally have a heart to heart and air it all out#and marcille starts freaking out that her marriage is rocky rn bc her new husband wants her to distance herself from marcille#on account of the crimes and all#marcille's like no you can't blow up your marriage for me and her mother just shuts that shit down#'you didn't choose to be born. i was the one who made that choice for you'#'i brought you into this world and i'll be damned if i don't take responsibility for that the entire way'#'you are entitled to *nothing less* than my unconditional love.'#and obviously that's not a sentiment that's exactly healthy as a universal statement about parenthood#but i think its what her mother would believe and what marcille needs to hear#and dungeon meshi does such a fantastic job at just... letting imperfect things just *be* without having to justify it immediately#it expects the audience to do their own critical thinking#and know that its not trying to make sweeping universal statements in every instance#marcilleposting#marcille donato#junoposting
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wah i looove their designs and animation...
#sketched last night looped ''hot air balloon'' track last night rewatched elemental last night you know just how it is....i love it all augh#elemental#elemental 2023#pixar elemental#elemental fanart#ember lumen#wade ripple#it's so fun how just going w/the flow waviness drawing a wade is Correct. some flamey shiveriness / jaggedness in ember's lines is Correct#and it's all the more fun how it's like oh ofc not quite hitting the mark of how great their designs really are....so so good#and of course the expressive elasticity not only with their faces but the way their bodies ft. respective elements can be expressive#in addition to just usual [assume you have a usual literal human body] expressiveness options in posture / movement etc lol#also was thinking about how like we know everything we Need to know re: wade & his dad but also have so [zero details there]#which is interesting to wonder about. kinda assumed like oh a parent got sick & died but now considering how it could've been an accident..#the tiny layer of A Reaction he has when ember's talking abt parents giving up everything for you: could be nothing much; or Anything#also noting i Didn't note the first instances that they hear each other's names or introduce themselves thusly lol#or at least i sure can't recall it. just start knowing the other's name partway through which Isn't A Problem but it's like#ooh just more to consider & reexamine. i love to pick up More Details & that's helped by my difficulty in catching them in the first place#one thing about me i don't Catch things i don't Notice shit i don't Get stuff. and also of course: i do though lol#always a trip when it's like oh i love this movie i'm seeing it probably the two dozenth time#and then i notice something for the very first time that was clearly straightup meant to be Gotten upon the immediate viewing#even to the extent that smthing later seems to be kinda happening out of nowhere if you didn't. & i'd just rolled with it#like ok i'm autistic ofc that's something i gotta do all the time. & the adhd means i might keep getting distracted around the same pts.
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crystalkitty1220 · 4 months
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Man I wonder where the leader of the fear realm could've gone, it's alMOST LIKE NEVIN HAS AN
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#had to re-edit the image real quick because the original edit was from a post I made about Drew years ago#and while the Drew thing is becoming less and less likely. Nevin havinv one has basically been canon since#someone mentioned Greg's (was it Britney's) aura being familiar in s2ch1. ive been putting together a list of every line#that points to Nevin's aura throughout the whole thing (most from s2ch1 but then s2ch10 came out and it was really canon at that point)#but clearly i'm running out of time to say ''i fucking called it'' before it's explicitly stated and i dont want to be in another situation#where somebody else will beat me to a theory and me posting anything about it will seem like copying them. sorry about that btw i had#thought i had already mentioned theorizing that nevin was possessed by a demon in that old theory i made but i had forgotten that one was#super old and was about sigma. so no copying there i just got extremely paranoid there was a mention of a cult and i was like ''nuh uh#that's way too specific and out there of a detail to end up in both our theories'' and i forgot the rest of my super old post was outdated#as hell. and echos had gone ''yeah they're so similar!'' and i took their word for it but now i'm realizing they were probably just trying#to be supportive. so yeah no copying there i was just beaten to the punch of saying something. but i will NOT back down from the aura shit#because i have been calling that shit FROM THE START or at least since i started reading ibvs back when ch20 came out.#also not backing down from saying chris was the worse friend because these past few chapters are the first time isaac has done anything tha#could knowingly upset chris meanwhile chris has. let edward drag isaac to the lair after isaac said edward would beat him up. chose not to#believe edward was holding the secrets over their heads because 'it was something isaac had said' and then immediately distrusted edward in#the next chapter because a random person he didn't know said to steal a book (might i mention how that entire scene proves chris' lack of#development and refusal to take responsibility because it perfectly alludes to when chris had brought those fireworks into his old school#and makes me wonder if charlie has actually gotten him in trouble with his past schools or if he's still just not taking responsibility#and if him following nevin to the woods to test out their powers is an extension of ''if something bad happens its not my fault''#like seriously this man would bring a mysterious suitcase onto a plane if he's told to). uh what was i talking about agai#anyway on a related note my mental state has only gotten worse since i left tumblr and the habit of thinking about chris instead of sleepin#or doing schoolwork has not stopped. so i was still failing for a while and might graduate now but am still staying away from tumblr.#so yeah this was a little update and im not going to linger this time im just going to leave tumblr again right after hitting post#addendum because i just can't let things go. and was thinking about chris again. i don't think his lack of development is because of bad#writing (anymore. i used to.). instead i'm certain his character arc is going to continue into him following someone (nevin probably) into#doing something really bad. and then he'll finally get actual consequences and go 'oh shit i fucked up real bad this time'#if you think that theory is reaching too far into the future you should hear mine about isaac dying at the end lmao
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invinciblerodent · 2 months
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i should not be concocting elaborate daydreams about characters i haven't even heard speak in earnest yet, huh
i am vying against the desk, nails bloodied and knuckles white, please let me make up more guys (gn) to kiss those other guys (gn)
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running-in-the-dark · 3 months
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the lady upstairs is screaming at her partner so loudly that I can - literally - understand every fucking word
this house is well built, you don't hear shit from the neighbours any other time, she just yells really fucking loudly and I am over it
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wild-at-mind · 6 months
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Had a really stupid conversation via minor emotional breakdown with a queer friend about what makes an LGBTQ person 'assimilist'. From what she said I'm kind of forced to draw the conclusion 'if you say you're not assimilist, then you're not'.
#i love her but none of it makes any sense to me#i think i really just wanted her to see that this kind of rhetoric is no good if you're fundamentally unable to see yourself as having valu#to a community- which is where i'm still at sometimes unfortunately.#i would say that i may not be the only one since mental illness + self esteem issues + being lgbtq are not exactly unlinked#but i have basically never found anyone else who has my particular hangups...maybe online once ages ago#so in my own mind i'm the most assimilist lgbtq who ever existed- not even worthy to call myself queer#and it's nice that she thinks i am not like that and in fact am 'one of the good ones'#who is not assimilist- look i know that 'one of the good ones' usually means the opposite ok i know! it's just an impression i get#she's like telling me obviously i'm all good because i look like i do but all i can hear is#that if i didn't look like this then i'm an assimilist#i fucking hate my brain honestly no one asked me to have a mental breakdown at their house (thank god i didn't cry)#and then go home and that's when i cry because i saw a trans guy's 'this many years on t' post and i felt like shit because#i haven't done anything about transitioning in ages and i'm not even out at work :'(#like i know i'm an assimilist because my main reason for not coming out at work is not wanting to do the beaurocracy#of changing my name on my email and every fucking log in i have on everything- telling every single person i interact with#i just can't it's too much and my line manager is worse than useless#but i have 'my job is computer and doing emails all day' privilege so i don't like to talk to people about it
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medicinemane · 3 months
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Mike johnson has so god damn much blood on his hands, obviously Ukrainian blood, but also plenty of American blood
Refusing to renew something that helps vets exposed to atomic blast and Americans who were downwind of the fall out... it's just sick. I can't fucking stand mike johnson, he's one of the worst scum to ever be in congress, and that's fucking saying something
"Johnson refused to allow House members to vote on bipartisan legislation to renew and improve the program"
Fucking quivering little pimple seems to have a real MO for just wringing his hands while insisting it's not his fault, he just can't do the one fucking part of his job of putting shit up to a vote... oh boo hoo, so sad, he'll just have to unilaterally let funding expire on things instead of literally just putting it up to our elected representatives to see if they want to vote yay or nay
Single handedly make the choices but it's not his fault when they work out how they do
Murderer
#I'm sorry; I both genuinely hate the man and will never forgive him; so seeing this just adds more fuel to that fire#and I'm also genuinely pissed to hear that we aren't gonna be bothering to fucking help out people we fucked over#it's fucking sick#listen; I try not to talk politics too much and I try not to tell people how to vote cause it's not really my business#and cause I don't like arguing with people on tumblr; waste of my time#but for all the dems many many many many many fucking flaws; it's shit like this that makes me hate the gop#every last line about sticking up for rural or poor people or whatever is such a fucking lie#god bless our troops... unless it would cost money to compensate them for making them stand near atomic detonations#at every turn I see fucking simple easy decent bipartisan policy shot down but fuckers like johnson; who is the gop at this point#fuck em; can't stand em#go fucking vote if you can in whatever country you're in; try and get a mail in ballot for your sake#I'm still not gonna tell you how to vote but uh... maybe keep in mind when someone's hands are fucking caked in blood#and keep in mind what kind of company people keep in their political party#fucking murder#cause inaction is murder as sure as if he stood their and kept them from getting treatment directly#removing the funding to let these people get cancers and stuff operated on#it's the same as murder#and again; that's not even going back to him personally; like literally it was just him and him alone#holding up aid to Ukraine for months because he refused to put it to the floor#where... oh look... once it was put to the floor it passed just fine (with a fucking tiktok ban added)#(hate that site but I hate government overreach with this kinda shit more)#one of the few people in this world I think I actually truly hate#I'm never gonna fucking stomach the 'he was so brave for holding a vote' shit lie#bullshit; if he had a spine or a soul he would have brought Ukraine aid to the floor before funding ran out#just like if he had a spine or a soul he'd have brought this radiation victim funding to the floor before it ran out#almost like there's a fucking pattern here of him squirming like a pus filled pimple simpering about how he just can't do his job#can't do the one fucking thing he's supposed to do and bring shit to the floor for a vote#I have more opinions on him; but if I said how I really feel right now I think it would get me put on a list#and... sadly just cause of who I am; if I were in a room alone with him I think I'd just lay into him instead of beating his ass#but he's a fucking monster and reading this story just now... I'm almost seeing red with how much it's pissing me off
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feluka · 1 year
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reading every criticism about every single tales protag that isn't yuri, a summary:
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holyviolence · 7 months
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omg i spent the whole day cleaning my entire apartment because my family was coming to visit and 1) so so so happy my adhd is being medicated now it's literally changing my life and 2) i FINALLLY got through to my dad about how he probably has ADHD too!!!!! he finally said Yeah i think i might have adhd. and my mom was like Me too (we've had this talk privately before, she knows she has adhd too lol) And my brother is literally transferring to a different school because he can't concentrate and isn't disciplined at his current uni. adhd family.
#literally thank goodness my brother was here to like Perfectly describe in real time what happens to adhd people when they go to college for#the first time. there's less structure and you fall apart. i used that as an opportunity.#i've slowly slowly slowly been chipping away at my Entire family btw. i've finally convinced my dad that medication is a GOOD THING.#i said You know. there's a lot in life that you feel like you Have to live with. but being on meds has made life so much easier and happier.#and that's when my dad finally said it.#:^) sometimes i like..... think about my family and how complicated i feel because growing up was super tough with all of them but now they#are all better people..... and i can't help but feel proud because as much as it is ABSOLUTELY great job for THEM for getting there But i#also feel uhhh partly responsible because i was constantly calling them out for shit. not always in the best way#but always standing up for others and challenging them on their worldviews and just casually talking about more liberal (as in free. not#politically) things. yes i do feel like if it wasn't for me my family would be worse people#i KNOW one of my brothers would be because he literally told me so. and it makes me happy. it is proof that my life is worthy and i have a#good impact on the world. it doesn't have to be a big thing i do to change things..... because i believe in the Ripple Effect#my dad is a teacher and he uses the proper pronouns for his trans students without complaint now. that has a good impact on SO many people#the trans students and their classmates who hear their teacher respect them. my brother is no longer homophobic he's bi lol and#if i hadn't argued with him about what bisexuality meant bc he was Wrong when i was 18 and he was 16... i wonder....#my younger sister is one of the nicest kids i've ever met and i partly raised her. it feels great to see her be such a good kid#her best friend is a trans girl and when she first came out my sister was one of two people in their class who still wanted to be#her friend.#idk. just inspires me to keep being the best person i can be & always do what's right even if it makes people mad#bc no one can hurt me as much as my family has traumatized me (lol) and look what happened to them!! i didn't give up! and i see real change
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feline-evil · 1 year
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Clasping my hands together in prayer and wishing The GamersTM weren't also fans of what i'm a fan of
#jay talkin#the pain of being a fan of a specific character who has so many things that The Gamers are Fucking stupid about#constant cinema-sins esque gotchas abt stuff that they think they r so smart for pointing out#when in fact they are being so facking dumb. do u know my pain as a kazuhira miller liker#everyday The Gamers do a 'gotcha' of 'oh he couldnt do that he's blind'#do we need to talk about how uncomfortable that is to hear parroted around#do we need to have a talk about the wide range of sight loss covered under the diagnosises that get you labelled Legally blind.#do we need to talk about the fact being blind does not always = total 100% sight loss.#do we need to talk about Being Normal about a disabled man for once in our miserable lives.#also you can't tell him what to do thats hellmaster fucking miller are you kidding me.#also had to bear witness to people callong him a weeb for being called Kazuhira....#my brother in christ how are you gonna act like you know shit abt what yr talking abt#when you don't know that kazuhira fuckin miller is a whole ass japanese man with a backstory#that involves the discrimination and xenophobia he faced as a man who looks like he does#a WEEB? A WEEB?? HES FROM. JAPAN.#oh no way the guy from japan has a japanese name? must be weeb shit guys bc our lil racist addled brains#cant understand that japan is a country outside of our commodification of it bc we r less smart than a bird#WHEEZE. SORRY. I GOT MAD AGAIN FOR A MOMENT. anyway.#GamersTM are insufferable and lack the media literacy to actually be metal gear fans so i wish they'd Go Away#putting metal gear but especially kazuhira miller up on a shelf till you guys can learn to behave
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lisbonsteresa · 2 years
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you don't get how crazy i'm going over this
#like....LIKE?????#not even talking about the lisbon of it all (we have to though these things are intrinsically connected but we're holding off for now)#i'm so....proud? of this little fictional man?#was the setup a little silly? maybe (but i loved every SECOND of it i can't BELIEVE i actually got a big blowout and a lowest point-#realization AND a rush to the airport confession that's SO)#this payoff was so SO worth it for me#and honestly i don't think the setup was even THAT silly -- what did lisbon say in 4.24? he had to hit rock bottom and know it or something#that's this. hurting her like this is his rock bottom (see you can't ignore the lisbon of it all - which i LOVE)#even with all the crazy shitty things he's done up until now; especially to HER; it was to get red john; he had that to fall back on#(not that he really saw it as a fallback but it gave him something else to focus on/something to justify his methods)#but after red john (episode not person) he doesn't have that anymore and he's been floundering ESPECIALLY when it comes to her#this wasn't a con (*not an official con) this was him doing something shitty and her finally having had enough#and him realizing just how right she's been; she was right on the first plane this season and she was right at the blue bird#and he's finally able to admit to himself just how much of a shit he's been...and then he's able to admit a lot of other things too#that little bit of honestly led to so much more and it let him FINALLY say out loud what they both knew (as much as they ignored it#or talked around it or pushed it down) and it let him say it without pretenses or expectations; just because#he 'needed to get to this' and she 'deserved to hear it' and i'm usually kind of meh on 'i needed to say it/you needed to hear it'#but this one; this one i GET#and i'm not explaining myself well at all i'm delirious but the point is this is SO well done and it feels DESERVED for me i love it#tm
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