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#and tbh it feels so weird looking at myself it’s like im not seeing myself for realz
thedrotter · 3 months
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filler doodles about how i comedically whitewashed myself as a child (despite also being the darkest i had and still have ever been in my entire life) because i cannot wrap my head around it
#filler art#my art#i was also short haired at the time so its odd i drew myself as having very long hair but is it any more weird than me whitwashing myself no#i remember i also imagined myself to grow up as a white girl like#HUH??? like i was so convinced i was going to look like all the white main character girls on television ... i had to look like one#all of this was probably because of the lack of representation in tv i could find at the time tbh#BECAUSE THIS WASNT AN ISSUE OF MY DAY TO DAY LIFE NOOOOOO#in here being... moreno?!?! . brown?!?!! EVEN IF LIGHT IS MILES MORE COMMON THAN BEING WHITE#AND ITS SO MUCH MROE SILLIER BECAUSE I WAS MCUH MORE DARK THAN I CURRENTLY AM BACK THEN#as of now im more so lightskinned . nowhere near white but im not very dark either because i dont see rhe sun often ww so im pale#BACK THEN I GOT BURNT ON THE SUN AS A HOBBY im serious i sat on the hot rock floor with burning sun climate bevause it was nice#NOT EVEN THE CURLS COULD BE SAVED I HAD TO PORTRAY MYSELF AS STRAIGHT HAIRED FOR WHATEVER REASON#like on my defense i did straighten my hair out a lot as a young child but THAT LASTED LIKE 2 DAYS EVERY TIME#so 90% i was curls so its funny#ALSO WHY DID WE CALL THE CREAM COLOR “THE SKIN COLOR” WHAT#like. it wasnt just me . whole elementary school knew if you asked for rhe skin color you talkin about thay#any tone of brown simply did not work I DONT KNOW WHY WE WERE ALL LIKE THIS???#thankfully at the age of 10 i realized i infact had melanin but .. i coudlnt accept i had black hair still💀💀#so my skin and hqir color were always the same in portrayals ITS SO FUNNY IM SORRY#I FIDN THIS INSANELY FUNNY IM SO SORRY#dont feel too concerned i wasnt ashamed of my skin color or anything but i had the warped idea i would look white soon#not if you keep cooking youself in the sun you wont /j#i dont know what to say about how i draw myself now a days i dont draw myself as myself but i know i aint white now its okay 🩷 (/hj)
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breezere · 1 year
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fuck u -tears off their sleeves-
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rainingincale · 25 days
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#its really weird you know#like ive kinda distanced myself from a lot of interactions#but when i do talk to people#and just to see how removed they are from politics etc#im not wording this very well but examples are just#me casually tutting when labour are mentioned#to be asked if i dont like them#and im like yeah i hate them. especially kier starmer.#and theyre like nodding along. but then to be diplomatic (this person was english) i say that i do like certain labour mps though like zarah#sultana etc#and the blank look i got. like idk. im probably just very online but this is someone whos educated and has a good job. so i just kinda#assumed theyd be a bit mroe aware of whats going on?#and then another person#i mentioned how theres books for kids about palestines history#i didnt mention anything else#and just... kinda silence. like a head nod and then convo moved on#and again i could just be over analysing but it almost felt like they didnt wanna talk about it because they didnt know/care?#which maybe. but i just kinda feel like at this fucking point. how can you not know.#i dont get how people are just so unaware of whats going on in the world around them. especially when its things that do indirectly affect#them. when it comes to people being incriminately harmed and murdered#like i dont think these people are against palestine or big labour fans etc etc either#but its just the blissful ignorance#idk maybe im just jealous tbh. because this shit haunts my every waking moment. the thought that theres so many bigoted and ignorant people#around the world scares me. and i never want to be one of them#this is such a jumbled ramble#but alas#le text post
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todayisafridaynight · 11 months
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i dont get how daigo could be bitchy and moody while wearing a puffer like . my brother in christ do you even know how silly you look rn trying to be emo in a puffer
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vers-1 · 1 year
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I paid 400$ to play and expected to get gains, but I ended up with losses
They’ve got me running all over the feild instead of as a forward where I would have to hit people which makes sense cause I’m short, but now I’m short and skinny. And like I am not a runner the tall girls get to jog at my sprinting speed and this is making me do a ton of major cardio
And all this slimming down has been eating at all the muscle mass I gained over winter. I can’t seem to balance out my stuff for working out it’s like it’s either one or the other and ahhhhhh. I’m just feeling frustrated
On one hand yea looking good, but on the other the opposing team is gonna fuck me in the ass so hard if they hit me.
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itz-mfkn-de · 14 days
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\\ALWAYS YOU//. M.R
warnings— OOC MATTHEO, Im a sucker for toxic boys but I made him extra sweet in his one idk why, uhhh not many tbh, cussing, kissing, smoking, that’s all I think.
summary— Mattheo was your best friend, always had been, but was the title of ‘friend’ enough?
-my first work for Mattheo! I will eventually get a master list going once I get more comfertable posting on here. This is a repost of one of my works on wattpad, just with some tweaks bc that work was olldddd-
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You sat against mattheos 𝐛𝐞𝐝, 𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 out of his dorm window.
"You know, some times, I'm worried for you. You just stare at things, it's weird." He snickered  as he took a drag from his cigarette.
You looked at him and scoffed, "Sometimes I'm worried about your lungs, you're bound to get some type of problem with all that's smoking you do." You half-joked, glancing at him.
He rolled his eyes, tilting his head up and blew the smoke out of his mouth.
"Seriously Mattheo, that stuff is absolute horse-shit for your body." You stated, accompanying your words with a sharp glare.
"I don't do it that often, just when I'm stressed." He muttered, taking his feet off of his desk and turning his body to face you.
"What happened to the whole 'I don't give a fuck about anything or anybody but myself' thing?" You said, mocking him to the best of your abilities.
"First of all I don't fucking sound like that," he laughed and squinted at you "second, just stressed about life, nothing in particular." 
You softly chuckled at his reaction. His eyes broke from yours, looking at some papers on his desk. Your eyes, however, never left his frame. You could stare at him for eternity, everything about his face seemed so perfect, almost as if it were meant to be admired.
You soon realized your staring and quickly averted your gaze towards the window again.
"You gonna go to the Yule ball this year?" You broke the silence, you knew Mattheo hated those things, he hated having to be around a shit ton of people and act like he enjoyed their company.
"Probably not." His demeanor changed, his tone became short, almost snappy.
"Oh, I'm probably just gonna go with Becca." You mumbled, knowing that if no guy was to ask you, Becca had your back.
"Hm." He nearly laughed at your remark.
"What? What's so funny?" You asked, looking back at him, his back still facing you.
"Just surprised you aren't going with a random slytherin guy or something." He answered, but the way he had said it has a strange undertone that you weren't sure how to feel about.
"Well I mean I don't know, I haven't been asked yet." You stated truthfully.
"Ah, I see." He murmured, soon after taking another drag of his cigarette.
You felt tension building in the room, suffocating tension. You weighed your options out, but you decided it would be better to give Mattheo some space, for what you were unsure of.
"Well, Becca and Emma told me they wanted to go dress shopping earlier so I think I'm gonna head over there so we can solidify our plans." You announced while picking up your books and putting them in your bag. 
"Bye Mattheo." You said while walking out of his dorm, expecting a response.
You shut the door when you got nothing, you mind raced with the possibilities on what could've caused mattheos strange behavior.
Maybe he'd just had an off day? No that couldnt have been it, he was fine moments before his attitude took a turn. 
Perhaps he was just having mood swings, you wouldn't be surprised with all the trash he puts in his body.
You stuck with that story and walked back to your dorm, which was on the other side of the slytherin tower. 
You reached it, setting your things down, then quickly turned around and nearly raced to your friends dorm.
The second you reached it, You waisted no time to jump on her bed, causing her to jump. 
"Yes, of course you can come into my room unannounced and lay on my bed." Becca said sarcastically. She had been digging through her closet in an attempt to find a dress. 
"Sorry, I just need to vent." You said while propping yourself up on your elbows.
"Go ahead." She sighed and laid her body weight 
"Okay so, there's this guy. He's like my best friend, but.."
She raised her eyes brows, signaling you to continue.
"But I want us to be more, or atleast I see him as more than a friend. I just feel like no matter how hard I try I can't get him to open up, he just.. won't."  You groaned.
"And everytime I get this sliver of hope that I've made progress, he just completely shuts down, leaving me in the dark confused and a little bit heartbroken!" You borderline screamed, your face shoved into her mattress.
"Okay, uh, let's calm down. If he's not showing any signs of being interested maybe you should just, move on- well attempt to at least." Becca stated ,rubbing your back.
You shut your eyes, truly taking in your friends words.  “hey Yknow what will make you feel better?” She nearly jumped with excitement. “Going to look for a dress in town.”
You knew she only had good intentions but the words kept echoing through your head. The thought of keeping Mattheo as a friend hurt, but it seemed to be all you could do at this point without ruining your friendship.
Maybe she was right.
Maybe you needed to accept Mattheo 
was just a friend.
-
All you could think about was the Yule ball. Over the next few weeks the days flew by, the anticipation growing larger with each one passing.
Of course you had been asked by some sweet guy from the Ravenclaw house, and, taking Becca's advice, you said yes.
There was nothing wrong with him, he just..he wasn't him.
You had decided to get ready alone, slipping into a beautiful green dress you and Becca had picked out. You finished your hair and makeup, looking into your vanity mirror.
You felt beautiful.
You smiled softly at how well you had dolled yourself up.
Glancing up at the clock, you rushed out of your dorm room, realizing it was the time you and your date had agreed to meet at the entrance by. 
You walked gracefully through the halls, a large smile adorning your face. Your heels tapped softly against the ground. You neared the entrance, your breath becoming shallow from the nerves. 
Then you saw Becca, she was wearing a beautiful Maroon dress. She looked absolutely breath taking.
"Hey!— oh my gosh." Becca looked at you, her jaw dropping. 
"You look stunning! Like some type of goddess...." She said barely above a whisper.
"Becca! Stop, you can't be talking, I forgot how to breathe the moment I saw you." You hugged her.
You were about to continue praising her and her beauty, but before you could comment you heard someone call your name.
"Y/n..wow.." he said, just loud enough for you to hear.
You turned around to see your date, who was wearing a very clean red and black suit. 
"Oh my gosh hi! Sorry for being a tad late, I lost track of time while getting ready!" You made your way next to your date, not before Becca gave you a sly smile and a push, leaving to go with her specimen she had chose for the night 
"It's okay.., you look amazing." He had said, taking your arm into his. He began to lead you into the ballroom.
"Thank you, I must say, you cleaned up nice." You smiled sweetly at him.
You and him entered the large room full of people, everything was elegant and royal, not a single speck of dust on anything.
You looked around the large room as your date led you down the stairs, you couldn't lie, you felt like a princess. The beautiful architecture of the room, complimented by your stunning dress, felt like something straight out of a fairy tale.
Once you had made it to the bottom of the staircase, you excused yourself away from your date in an attempt to go find Becca again. 
You stumbled past groups of people, many of them were couples having a romantic moment. 
You tried your best not to run into anybody, you dodged dancing bodies and nearly jogged across the dance floor.
You almost missed him.
You almost walked right by him.
You almost could've saved yourself the heartbreak.
But no you saw it—him with some random Hufflepuff girl. 
The way he whispered in her ear, the way she giggled a little too sweetly, everything. 
It all made you wanna cry—or throw up, which one that would be you weren't quite sure about yet. 
"Y/n?" Theodore came beside you and patted your back.
"Theo-Theodore, I thought Mattheo wasn't coming to the dance?" You struggled to get your words out as your eyes darted between the scene before you and Theodore. 
"Oh—uh yeah, he wasn't gonna originally, but some girl asked him and I guess he took a liking to her because usually he just brushes everyone off." Theo answered.
"Oh, I see, I just came to say hello. I'll be on my way now." Before Theodore could argue with your strange behavior you turned your back and walked as quickly as you could back to were your date was. 
You abandoned the idea of going to find Becca, you couldn't accidentally run into Mattheo and his.. friend again.
Instead you decided that distracting yourself with your date would be the best thing for your heart at the moment.
"Hey, sorry , I just saw a friend and got distracted." You said, out of breath.
"Oh. Don't even sweat it, I'm just glad you didn't run away and not come back." He joked, dragging you towards the dance floor. You couldn't help but laugh at his bubbly personality. It was a nice change of speed.
"I hope you like to dance." His hands fell onto your hips, yours made their way to his shoulders.
"I actually hate it." You smiled at him. 
"How unfortunate." Your smile grew when he matched your energy. You nearly forgot what you had seen a couple moments ago.
But alas, you didn't.
You could feel your chest tightening up, the tears bordering you waterline. Just thinking about him touching that girl in any way made you want to breakdown.
"Ex.—excuse me." You tried to excuse yourself as politely as you could. 
You didn't want your date too see you like this, vulnerable, heartbroken.
You urgently walked towards any door in your line of sight. When you finally found one, you ran through it. 
You just couldn't escape him, no matter how hard you tried. He was at every single corner you turned.
You nearly groaned when you saw him propped up over the balcony, smoking of course. 
He hasn't seemed to notice you, still looking out at the stars. 
You couldn't do it anymore, you couldn't spend one more fucking second acting like you weren't in love with him. 
The sad part was you'd rather be his friend than him hate you and be nothing at all. As long as he thought about you, you'd be okay. 
That's what you had been telling yourself, but you couldn't hold onto that lie anymore. 
"Mattheo." You croaked out behind him.
His head shot to the side, looking you dead in the eyes. 
"Angel… what're you doing out here."  He looked back out to the stars, unable to make eye contact. 
"I can't do it anymore."  You said shakily.
He turned his full body around this time, his eyes a dark brown. He blew the smoke out of his mouth, the wind pushing it in the opposite direction.
"I can't keep pretending I don't feel this way.., do you know how hard it was to watch you talk to that girl?" You nearly cried out.
"All the girls you fuck with and then bring them to shit like this, I cant keep lying to myself —wishing that it was me instead of her."
You were on the brink of gasping for air, your head pounded. You couldn't believe you had suppressed these emotions for so long. Every single time you went to Mattheo's dorm, you could barely restrain yourself from kissing him. 
Before you could continue on with your speech 
Mattheo had forced you against the wall. 
His lips met yours in a harsh collision. In an almost immediate reaction, your body responded to his actions, kissing him back with just as much need and hurry.
"You don't get to fucking do that."  He pulled back from your lips, still making sure to keep his face mere inches from yours.
"Every single day, I'd sit there and watch you talk to this new guy, I couldn't do shit about it— I wouldn't let myself do shit about it."
“I knew you deserved so much better than some lousy asshole like me, angel.” His hand held a firm grip on your hips, his other still had its place on the stone wall. 
"It took everything in me not to punch that fucker in the face when I saw him look at you, but I knew you wouldn't want that." You melted beneath his gaze.
His kisses trailed down your jawline.
"During second year, when I went to the dance, I saw you there with Draco, I nearly killed him right after. I couldn't bear to see you with anyone other than myself.. so I wouldn't go, I knew I wouldn't be able to handle it so I never went to another ball again." He gently caressed your cheek with his thumb.
"Until this year." He mumbled softly in between the kisses he was leaving on your neck.
He brought his face back up to yours, his eyes stormy and clouded with something darker than just simple need.
"What'd he say to you? What did he call you?" Mattheo asked with a dark shimmer in his eyes, one you were hoping was just from the moon.
You swallowed harshly, you hadn't realized how dry your mouth truly was. 
"He just said I looked nice—" 
"Nice? You look fucking ravishing. I've never met a girl as beautiful as you, never once in my life seen a girl who could compare anywhere near you...That's why I call you angel you know...,because even if an angel walked by, my eyes would still be glued on you."
His gentle voice tickled your ears, and your cheeks warmed up beneath him.
"You are my angel."
He kissed you again, only this time it was more gentle. His lips held no rush, they were soft and comforting. 
You were the one to pull back this time, smiling sweetly up at him. He pulled you from against the wall, leaving the two of you in the center of the balcony, under the sparkling stars.
"I can't believe we've been friends all these years, and neither of us made a move."
He spun you around under the moon light, the beautiful sky knocking the breath out of you.
"Hey matty..?”You whispered once he had began to hold you in his arms gently.
"Yes angel?" He matched your tone, the sweet nickname you gave him made his chest tighten up.
"I love you." You closed your eyes, shutting them slowly.
"I love you... I always thought I'd never be the type to say that so freely, guess I just needed to meet the right person." He swayed the two of you lightly, finding a rhythm in the midnight winds. 
"Of course it's you... 
It's always been you."
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angsthology · 9 months
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“when you said you were seeing someone i was kind of hoping a therapist” — or an alt title: roo sees things others can’t
theres been this uneasy feeling she feels on the back of her neck...
a/n fun fact i was possessed once as a kid. but anyway this came to me when i was reading the gamer episode of vr!!! so thank u noelle. but anyway let me explain this one: where im from the places here are kinda... "spooky" i guess and there are some people who can see otherworldly creatures and idk i just feel like bringing these in cause i thought it would be fun!
warnings; kinda creepy tbh i wrote this and imagined it a couple of times and scared myself (cause ik damn well it can happen to me 😭), this writing is kinda all over the place so uhh sorry
THE KANGAROO(KIE) VS. THE WORLD
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alex had initially been unfazed by the girl beside him, having a hard battle against her drooping eyes. he definitely understood where it’s coming from. this meeting was so boring. plus, roo wasn’t a big fan of listening to words that came out of the mouth of men anyway so there’s no surprise there.
it was only then after several more head drops she seemed like she was more awake, her eyes quietly and cautiously scanned the room from every top corner to behind them.
he brushed it off as nothing, probably just gathering reality after her on and off nap.
after that it was smooth sailing and more... listening.
only, he sort of noticed how her eyes barely looked up from her lap but he fully knew that she was awake now. still, he thought, maybe she was just tired still so he didn’t bother bothering her.
when the excruciating life sentence had finally stopped, the entire room stood up and either made their way to each other or simply leave.
alex had a brief conversation with charles who sat on the right row behind him, he then went to speak to his friend that was just one second ago still sat silently beside him only to turn around to find an empty seat.
he then looked around the room to see if she had went to talk to someone only to find her lack of presence in the room.
weird. she always did like to mingle.
again, he shrugged it off, maybe she just went to take a nap elsewhere.
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the next time they had a meeting in the same room, the alfa romeo driver had arrived with george russell by her side. they barely said anything and arrived in silence. well, that wasn’t true. the girl had arrived in silence, george was greeting everyone happily.
when they arrived, george occupied himself in a conversation with alex. when he looked to his right he found the spot empty where the woman once stood in. he then looked around to find her already sitting silently besides her teammate.
she had been fine this morning when she met up with george until they were called into the meeting that’s when her energy seemed to have shifted. george simply thought she just dreaded the meeting itself—as per usual, like any other meeting she didn’t like so it seemed pretty normal to the brit.
though, she was uncharacteristically quiet. like, she wasn’t exactly someone with a big dictionary on the daily but she was still as annoying as a twenty-something-year-old could be.
she had kept her head down during the entire duration of the meeting, only ‘listening’ to whatever there was to be said. every once in a while she could be seen looking up cautiously from her lap, though her eyes only seemed to be looking at repetitive spots.
after the meeting was finally over again, she was gone before anyone could reach her.
weird.
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another day, another meeting everyone dreaded. seems like that’s all the agenda was the last couple of days.
but no one dreaded it more than the woman in metallic black.
she was currently walking along with zhou (who was now caught up with all the information). she was uncomfortable, she hoped that today she’s gone—that it was gone. she had been keeping her head down to avoid it but over the days she could feel her creeping in closer and closer to her.
roo was so close to entering the room until she felt the hair on her neck stood up in alert and she knew she couldn’t. she was so close to escaping today’s meeting but just her luck.
lando had seen her and she knew it was too late when he had beckoned her over.
she—like she has been the last few days—entered the room cautiously, not looking up to that spot for her own sake.
“hey, man.” the brit greeted, patting her back.
she tried to greet them all back in the same manner but her uneasiness were overpowering her social skills and she couldn’t find the power in herself to say anything coherent.
the rest of the men looked at each other in question giving the other only a shrug. they were about to ask when they were cut off by the meeting starting.
and, surprise surprise, roo had already disappeared again from their side.
she now sat on the far left just next to the opening isle where they could walk through.
the three british men didn’t waste time to occupy look at the other for confirmation and the empty seats beside her. usually that would’ve pulled a reaction from her, a comment along the lines of ‘everybody wants to get with roo’ but when she stayed quiet head down that really piqued their interest.
throughout the entire meeting she was still very quiet which wasn’t something out of the blue but something that was, is the heavy breathing coming out of her mouth. at first it was nothing but the more and more time passes it got heavier and louder. lando, who sat next to her had heard the entire buildup causing him to worry for his fellow driver. he nudged her with his arm to which she flinched at.
“hey, you alr—” before he could finish she was already jumping off her seat and mumbling a small ‘excuse me’ as she sped-walked in front of them, circling her way out of the row and exiting the room.
a moment later, her teammate excuses himself out of the room leaving the three british men to give each other a look.
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after they were all dismissed, the three had made it their mission to find the alfa romeo driver(s). everyone knew how random roo’s (behavioral) pattern is, but even they knew that was weird and out of the blue.
but somehow, it was not really a big surprise when they saw her walking along the paddock with fernando, smiling as if nothing had happened.
when she saw them, her smile grew and she waved at them happily as they went and approached her.
“hey, how was the meeting?”
“fine. —are you alright?” lando didn’t bother to hover around the topic.
she shrugged, “yeah, just, things, y’know.”
george furrowed his eyebrows in confusion and quite frankly, taken aback, “what things?” he asks, his tone almost sound accusing.
she sighs, slumping her shoulder a bit, “it’s stupid.” she states.
“if it made you bolt out of the room like that, not really.”
she rolls her eyes, “i kinda… have been seeing a woman.”
they were so taken aback the three furrowed their brows in sync, only making her realize the mistake in her words.
she shook her head as if to refresh her thoughts, “let me rewind—i uh, i can… see spirits.”
still—hell, probably more—confused, their response to her words were tilting their heads like a puppy dog (though george and lando had a sort of shift into a more judgy look).
she clicks her tongue, “every time i look up in that room i see this woman with long hair—hair that covered her entire face down to her chest. and– the first time ‘round i thought that was it and that when i come back the next time she’d be gone. but… i guess it seemed like she got closer every time i come back. and today– today she went to the point where she was near my face and i guess… i guess i was finally feeling her presence getting too close instead of just seeing.”
when she finished talking, the three drivers in front of her stayed silent and she almost regret saying anything. she felt really stupid despite how real it was for her. she turned to whine to nando next to her when one of the three brits finally spoke up.
“that’s awesome!” exclaimed alex.
roo, still standing facing in fernando’s direction, only side-eyed him—judgy and  confused, right on-brand.
“…i was terrified.” she somehow thought she needed to clarify.
“no, yeah, sorry you had to go through that, whatever—you can see ghosts!” alex re-states excitedly.
the older man out of the four of them couldn’t help but be amused by the entire conversation. he put both his hands on each of the girl’s shoulders and laughed lightly, shaking her a little in the process, “good luck, niña.”
“man, i don’t need luck. i need new friends.”
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taglist; @treehouse-mouse @disneyprincemuke @yansbolobao @leilanixx @judespoision @vellicora @bborra sorry for this mess 😭😭
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rzyraffek · 1 year
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Could you please do headcanons Slashers (like Michael, Brahms, Billy, The Sinclair brothers) as caregivers for their S/O who is an age regressor
Or headcanons for those Slashers when they find out their s/o is an age regressor?
Okay I acually went and educated myself on this topic for you my dear anon🥰🌼
if your uncomfortable with topic of age regression pls dont read that😭
So basically as far as I understand age regression means that somone acts like child due to some traumatic event??? And like they act childlike and participate in child typical activies (such as drawing with crayons, speaking like a toddler, drinking from bottles ect) if i make headcanon that don't make any sense im sorry! I have no experience with this topic! ALSO this is pure platonic! Age regression isn't a kink or a fetish!!
Slashers with age regressor y/n
Brahms Heelshire
Tbh y/n acting childish kinda woke up his inner child, CUZ HE LITTERALY GOT LOCKED IN WALLS IN AGE OF LIKE 10 so he kinda missed out on some fun stuff
100% plays hide and seek! Or tag! My man loves some good round of hide and seek, this place is huge! *insert british accent* "oh you little scallop... if I find you I will tickle you so hard..."
Question: age regression is like temporary or like forever thing? Like regressor acts like that when they are in bad metal state or just always? Bcs if always then it might be hard with Brahms, see he kinda.... has mommy's issues has huge need to be taken care of, probably similar to y/n's, he kinda wants a person who will just pamper him and make him feel like he's the single child yknow? All the attention on him? Yknow what i mean??
If y/n draws him something nice, dude will put it on a fridge with a magnet and be proud
If thats like temporary thing, he acaully will ask a lot of questions: how should he act? Do you remember anything? How does it work? Can he get some cuddles? Do you still love him while regressing? (Ofc you do, but he doest understand)
Billy Lenz
You guys vibe
Dude won't see any difrence😭
Yay one more reason to watch cartoons together! (His favorite ponny is rarity and fluttershy)
If y/n babytalks and uses toddler-like vocabulary... dude will mimic it😭 he just thinks that will help with communication😭 its not like you guys struggle with it or anything, Billy is just build like that
Yall draw together, his artstyle already looks like toddler drew it (not in cute way)
Plays dolls with y/n (but he acually makes it interesting! Like he makes it all dramatic and the tea is just jawdropping)
Also don't bother explaining what is age regression, just say "sometimes I act like kid to cope"😭
Micheal Myers
Judges
But kinda likes it, not in weird way! He enjoys taking care of y/n, but he has his own ways of doing so
He won't play with them or let them cuddle him too much
But he accepts little drawings and stickers that y/n gives him
He is still stalking them, making sure noone tries to bully them or anything
He is very protective, for example if y/n cuts their finger while making food, dude is all over them: Oh no no dont cry! Uhhh.... uhhh oh! See a pretty bandage? With puppies! Pls dont cry...
On rare days he is acually around (phicially i mean, cuz hes always around just not interacting with y/n) and it happens for him to be in good mood too, he will let y/n nap on him or put some stickers on his outfit- he never takes them of btw, the only reason that stickers wash of is the field he 'works' in? Yknow a lot of mud blood and water. He also holds y/n hand if they are spooked
And he fucking loves fluttershy and applejack
Steals some cute shirts and socks for them!
Sinclair Bros
Bo is the least understanding, tbh he will lisen to y/n only if they have very good relationship
Vince is just 👍
And Lester is acually very open to the idea
Drawing and playing dolls with Vincent
Going on cool drives with Lester
And napping with Bo
Whole fridge is covered in drawings and cute magnets
All Vincent's notebooks and Lester truck covered in stickers
Even Bo gun didnt escape the sticker apocalypse
Vince made special wax figurines for y/n
Lester calls them "kiddo" 😭😭
Bo puts his hand on their head and rubs it till their hair goes all puffy
They all act like older brothers who have to take care of younger siblings while perents are away😭😭
Vince acually vents to regressing y/n and they are just like: "man I just wanna pet the dog"
Bonus round! Added few more!!
Bubba Sawyer
Bestie vibes
Yall just spend time playing with dolls and drawing together
Absolutely lets y/n nap on him
He totally combs their hair and puts them in nice bun (or if y/n has short hair he will just brush it)
He kinda sees age regression as lil break from reality? Like you two can just vibe and act they way you want to😊 he enjoys, cuz tbh he do be acting like child(not in bad way!) And his happy that you both can do all those child-like activities without being judged by other person
Bit y/n once
Asa Emory
Ew a child
I mean
Idk he gives me "the dad that never has time for u cuz he has too much work"
Like yep he will read y/n a bed time story and he will tell them all about bugs and nature. But hes busy most of time
OMG ABOUT BED TIME STORIES Asa will read you one but he is so exhausted that he acually falls asleep first
He trusts them and knows that even whilr regressing they wont do anything dumb, but he still bans them from his 'workroom' theres... well some photos and drawings of victims and i doubt y/n wants to see it
Lets them sit on his lap while he reads newspaper like middle-aged man he is
Gives lil head kisses before sleep
Bug themed plushies and figures
Makes y/n watch animal planet and bbc nature with him
When he's out for longer periods of time he will buy them McDonald's as an apology
Welp
Done. I hope it makes sense! I never witnessed anyone age regress so idk how relatable it is!! I used x reader tags only to reach bigger audience
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pomefioredove · 3 months
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🙂‍↕️not really coherent reply sorry
vil is one of the only characters in game that treats yuu with respect, and as an equal.
EXACTLYLY. honestly it never ever sits right with me whenever yuu BREAKS THEIR BACK trying to help others (especially because barely anyone is doing barely anything to help them. LET THIS BITCH GO HOME!!!!) for them to just? barely acknowledge it? casually brush it off? the scene in book 3 where the tweels r like wanna help out? you can switch with these guys and ace is like YES double all of my current suffering and pass it onto them /ref all of the students complaining about losing their signature spells when yuu has NO magic at all to protect themselves with.. let’s be serious please. maybe im being a little dramatic! but thats literally my favorite character you are talking about get their name out of your mouth.
vil is literally the only other character who plays a similar role in the story.
... cause chars like trey and lilia are almost there, but distinctly different in their roles, while vil is THE mother.
THIS!! !! !!! !!!!! lillia is more of the father trope and trey is more of a big brother i’d say. they aren’t nurturing in the same way vil is. maybe it’s the ‘nagging’ slash instructing aspect of how vil interacts with people. i don’t even know how to put it into words but ur right vil is so mom. like. i dont know.. it’s probably his relationship with epel (and even the other first years?) that makes me associate him with being motherly but he’s just so. nurturing. so many moms in the media that i’ve (recently) consumed were teaching their daughters to be quiet and respectful as to not get punished/essentially outcasted socially. of course that’s not really what vil is doing with epel but. ugh. read my mind!!! ull understand then trust. the ONLY other character that sorta makes me feel the same way is jamil. illove him so dearly but i know. little to nothing major about his character aside from his relationship with kalim. yuu and grim. vil and epel. jamil and kalim. they should start a we dont get paid (enough) for this bullshit club
honestly i dont even want to project myself onto yuu i wanna be a helpful roomate or somthinf. wtf 😭 my hungry aggressive ass could NOT be yuu /ref..
rhats all i can put into words rigth now . evene though i got sidetracked a lot.. !! bht th part abojt yuu being motherly ! ialso wanted to reply to. wowww thats a lot of typos sorry my eyesight is a tad blurry 😭
AHHGGGGG ANON
"double all of my current suffering and pass it onto them" LMAOOOO 😭😭😭
I am such a yuu defender idc. LEAVE THEM ALONE!!!! it's why rollo is still such a fave of mine, he's like one of the only sane people. looks at yuu and is like jesus christ are you fucking okay.
and yes literally vil is just. I think the big difference is that he actually kinda likes being in charge? more so than yuu. he's a natural leader while they were literally manipulated and blackmailed into their position (I WILL SAY THAT I do think vil feels pressured to be a leader because of how he was outcasted/made out to seem mean and scary by his peers so he just kinda Filled That Role... but also I definitely do not see him as someone who'd enjoy following rather than leading. his own character VERY MUCH parallels yuu's in so many ways)
jamil is definitely different tho. he was also forced into his position as a caretaker but he doesn't have a parental vibe to him. tbh I couldn't tell u what it is but he's got his own thing going on (and he DOES parallel yuu in a way, I wish he was closer to them because there's potential but he's really Not)
BUT YEAH I get you. I feel like this is a weird thing to say but yuu feels like their own character to me 😭 like I have my own yuusona but yuu themselves is a little guy to me
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Text
'im gonna sleep' he lied
#snap chats#i love making the main text Bullshit and then putting the actual post below. ive said this before but idc its my art#its like... the main text is the title and the tags is the actual article.... does that make sense#i should sleep my eyes are heavy but im being tormented by concepts i want to execute#gotta apologize for all the arasawa posting as of late but ive been enabled#tbh on the lowest of keys i did post bout them on occasion in the past but. but now it's feel-speed ahead#twt has been driving me insane so i just need to hop aboard me other boat yk what im saying... please say you do i refuse to elaborate#for the sake of the people i wont but man if you know you know#anyways. the actual meat of this text post See All That Preamble Shit is meant to deter people. it is a warning#'i am bring cringe down here do not look. wait for it to be art so it's harder to ignore'#'snap i thought you didnt like sharing things if you were gonna do something with it' ok well the delusions are strong tonight#and im too tired to do anything and ill prob be too brain dead to do anything tomorrow LET ME SPEAK#ok cringe time. i just think jo gradually accepting physical affection can be something so personal and good SUE. me.#and when i say 'gradually' it will be ten years before he accepts it and even so it'll be quietly#i think by his 20's hes beyond flinching/wincing at random contact- or at the very least he's very good at suppressing the reflex to#more so if its not something like a handshake- like just casual contact- i imagine he's more confused than anything#i had friends who were obsessed with like. hugs and holding hands and those things always had me like ???#i imagine Same Shit for him ☠️ 'this isnt a bad thing but this isnt something im familiar with What Is???? this feels weird.'#im gonna make myself throw up thinking anymore about this. i be making these hardened yakuza men sweet and sentimental#twitter really is decaying my brain....#let me be worse. cause i hope arakawa introducing that sort of physical affection rubs off on jo. no where near the same level as arakawa#but itd be SOO funny if like.. jo starts walking close enough to occasionally bump shoulders with him#i hope when arakawa starts nodding off in the car and ''''accidentally''' lays his head on his shoulder he stops tensing up#heaven forbid jo even rests his cheek against arakawa. id be ill#Let Me Clutch My Pearls For This One i hope when they hold hands jo starts to hold arakawa's a lil tighter than he used to#just very /very/ little things like that. very little things that'll still make me insane I'M DELU-LU TONIGHT SORRRYYYYY#expect more of this bullshit but. in art form in the future. whether it writing or drawing idk i just need it#i need it injected right into my veins its my weakness your honor TAKE ME AWAY i AM guilty for making the scary gangsters cute#ok im pissing off fr now bye.
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chnt-confessions · 3 months
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i think i'm the only person in the entire fandom that has any genuine empathy for elijah, and i'm stuck thinking there's something deeply wrong with me for that. i feel like quite a lot of people split black on him (and joshua) and then split white on jedidiah, and sydney. the ONLY two options are to dehumanize or objectify him. no hate to jedidiah-likers, but jedidiah is not a victim. he doesn't act entirely the way he does because of trauma, he acts that way because he implicitly looks down on sydney. what kind of man jeopardizes the entire world for a man that he let gravely sick in the first place, only to gaslight and neglect him?? all this because of mommy and daddy issues that, like, 70% of the population has?? i had to headcanon extra issues and trauma for him to just to keep myself sane. i don't mean to invalidate his trauma, but he has lived such a privileged life and can easily go to therapy and yet. i'm sorry but it's bojack-horseman levels of "how tf do you expect me to feel bad for you? lmao." like, i need him to get better because people will likely die if he gets any worse, but other than i couldn't care less about this guy. i'm way more sympathetic to sydney because he's trying his best but he seems to have an empathy deficiency of some kind (it's not his fault but it is painfully obvious sometimes and i wish i could fix him but i have to fix myself first because i also deal with this); i also relate to the "feeling unlovable" aspect of things.
we have only seen elijah at his worst. the elephant man is elijah "mental breakdown, 2 years and counting psychotic episode" core; did everyone just assume he was born like that? and if he was, that would also make me sad tbh. he had a similar upbringing to jedidiah and yet he does not show it at all and i'm wondering what tf was different. he also generally sucks at being a villain sometimes (i.e. telling sydney his weakness, letting sydney go back to jedidiah, reacting way better than most people would when sydney told him that he couldn't get the journals). when jedidiah says "sydney, you're always fine." vs when elijah says it; jedidiah said it to gaslight sydney and because he feels bitter about the fact he's working so hard to keep sydney alive and can't use it to manipulate him (i'm joking but i'm also not joking), while elijah was just being a little acolyte and also he's symbolically the earth, so when he says the earth will catch him when he falls, he is fr. idk what snapped in him with the murder-suicide thing but considering that he is the earth, and unfortunately due to sydney's weird little mind and jedidiah's horribleness, the earth is, like, post-apocalyptic now so it probably has something to do with that (idk why he switched from stabbing to burning alive; probably cuz of the theatrics/j). anyway, he does suck and he needs to go back to russia and never come back for everyone's good, but i really do think he would be better than jedidiah could ever be (yes, even with therapy; i'm literally speaking facts/hj) if "everyday [wasn't] a living fucking nightmare." and i'm constantly like "._." whenever i remember that jedidiah is the reason "everyday is a living fucking nightmare." also i really wanna see someone do elijah/the elephant man analysis/interpretation that doesn't reek of disgust and hatred (or lust; do whatever you want, but i'm judging you rn), just for variety tbh. here is his official playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/389N5sUULTXFC63I3CSn7c?si=756dacaa18cd491c some of the songs in here are, like, "???" and i want to see someone's else's take on them (even elijah haters tbh) sorry for the essay, that's all i wanted to say :)
also im so happy that i can say this anonymously, thank you chnt-confessions for doing god's work, i love you platonically <3
(ABOUT THE LAST PART) no need to apologize and I'm really glad to make you happy!!
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skyevie · 5 months
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I finally finished both mcl new gen episodes (kind of long post about my opinions and feelings)
Tbh I wasn't so sad about the old mcl coming to an end because I think when armin was removed back in hsl it just prepared me for whatever could come next LMAO. I am a big fan of Jason and Amanda, the rest of the Li's... are there I guess ! I think the new point system is kind of weird and overcomplicated for no reason, I really don't like the fact that we have to pay AP's for dialogue and clothes because I can either buy more clothing/recolors and be satisfied with how my character looks or save up for the new episodes... and the fact that you can't buy AP with money, only the blue hearts that can be traded for AP? (not to mention that the prices went up comparing to go mcl at least in my country) But you also need the blue hearts for those special moment with LI's every ep... like idk its sad that there is a part of content you can miss out because you simply don't want to spend money every time an ep is here lol. The missions (which is basically the eldarya expeditions) are fine since we get clothes for that. The calendar is a nice touch up because it's something new and refreshing. But the paid part and vip subscription and the clothes offers in the shop are the next thing that don't seat well with me.... Like we could get a little more for that price... especially since it rounds up to 120 dollars per year... And the fact that all the cute outfits are locked behind a daily shop rotation that have to use real money on... Oh and the last on the more negative side why does our uncle only give stuff for our fuckass goose.... We love you Taki but it's not that serious we could get like a t-shirt... or smth...
On the positives, I really like the fact that our Candy can have a personality now! Like finally we aren't a blank page that adjusts to the people we talk to and we can have opinions AND THEY MATTER! Also the clothes are much cuter, like finally someone thought - yes u can be an adult and have fun clothing and not dress boring! We love that! And I giggled to myself a little when I read why Candy switched her job lol. Reminder me of Eric's arc Eric we love you forever idc about what other said about your route.
At the end of the day I think I will try the vip for one month just to see is it really like worth it for someone who is going to be rather active on this game. Idk im excited for the plot tbh and especially how much it changes depending on the fact if we romance the Devenementiel LI's or Jason.
Also if anyone needs help with answers to the episodes I can help :3
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ciaran · 3 months
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"do you think people are so simple, so easily understood—while you yourself are above it all, the sole experiencer of complexity and contradiction?" tbh that's often an idea that i fight off, but when i complain about not being understood by other people, they try to stroke my ego saying that i'm just smarter and superior and it bothers me. i don't want to be smarter than everyone else, i learnt so much just so i could communicate better and now i don't even have that. i just don't know how to make it possible to be understood.
i was also told that i was smarter and better than other people and that they would never understand me and i hated that. like i want to be known, i want to communicate, i dont want to be an island. i think what helped me personally was giving up on the idea that there is going to be some perfect magical knowing that opens me surgically and instantly lays us bare to each other. and to treat even superficial, ordinary conversations as though they are real connections. the eye contact i make w a woman at work when i refuse to play along w a weird joke on her behalf is Also connection. and i think like, most people are not going to Know me. they arent going to see me deeply or find me interesting or be able to understand what im trying to say. but one thing is...im willing to iterate. im willing to say the same things over and over in different ways until a way of saying it clicks, or until it sinks in...ive waited years for my mom to understand what my brain is like and she still doesnt get it but ive come a long way since what was when i was a teenager. i repeat myself a lot, i repeat myself to a lot of people, i find old ways of saying things and new ones. and these...processes of trying to be understood by others should not be a diminishing or a culling of the self to only that which is intelligible to an audience, hopefully, but there is a method to finding...common ground. and the way to find common ground is to listen to people closely, to listen to what they say and how they say it, and to find those threads...im not saying i find it easy. but when you look at what youve experienced, your feelings...the range of human emotion is not infinite. we all know shame, listlessness, terror, lust, the loneliness of being on the outside of something, the hurt of not being heard. don't look for people to have felt things in the same way, shape, or intensity as you. look for ways to say, when you catch these notes, "i know what that feels like, even though it was different for me - i know what you mean." what does being understood mean to you? does it mean that you talk and someone Gets you? or does it mean that...you look for what is inside you in the world around like piecing together a puzzle? listening to others, not because you are their therapist or anything of the sort, but because in the story they tell you might find some trace of yourself? all human connection should be selfish because unselfish connection is worse, its charity. if you have friends, i hope you are their friend for your sake as much or more than their sake. and if you listen to people closely, i hope you do it because you're looking for that point from which you start building connection and understanding. and sometimes people have to be taught to understand you, but often they want to learn, if you have a way of teaching it. you must imagine people as eager too, and lonely, and in need of being seen. you must imagine that someone out there feels what you do and the only way to find them is to talk to people.
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I'm super happy ur back omg ^^
I thought I'd talk about an experience I had where I scripted something to happen in my head and it played out word for word (this all happened before I knew about the law and just listened to subs)
So I was in art class and we had a substitute teacher, I was sitting by myself bored asf 😭, my friends all were sitting somewhere else. But, I'm a maladaptive daydreamer so I daydream a lot so i used this to cure my boredom... I was just making little scenarios, and I had one were the teacher asked who was the best artist in the class and everyone literally just pointed at me and said my name (ik it sounds really egotistical but i just wanted the confidence boost). And I'm not joking, after like a few seconds IT HAPPENED??
The teacher asked who was the best artist and everyone said my name, I was shocked and I didn't even know how to respond 😭... At the time I was like 'wow that was weird' but looking back on it I think I most likely manifested it... And the thing is I didn't even over think it or worry about my thought, because it was just a normal thought that I had.
I was thinking about sending more things that have happened like this prior to my knowledge of the law but idk if you take anons yet and i don't want to spam you, anyways, have a lovely day ♡
I can’t lie I’m probably gonna be annoyingly shit posting more than being a blog but I always love to see your success stories and journeys!!!
And girl periodt. Im also a maladaptive daydreamer and I love scripting and feeling like an author of my life so the fact that you brought your script to life is so dope. Manifesting takes form in all our day to day activities and it really is just a cluster of magic tbh, I love that for you. And omg noo pls spam me with your journey it literally makes my day and entire world ☁️
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equallyshaw · 11 months
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So I lay in your arms and pretend that it's love | trevor zegras.
Tumblr media
based off olivia rodrigo's song- scared of my guitar!
trevor x singer nameless oc!
not too sure if i wanna do gif's or pictures like that above..trying something new out (:
word count: 2.3k+
warnings: tbh, she's toxic...pls dont be like her.
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──
Perfect, easy, so good to me So why's there a pit in my gut in the shape of you? Distract myself, say it's somethin' else Maybe I'm just overwhelmed, maybe I'm confused
for around 11 months it was pure bliss...the two of them everywhere and anywhere. onlookers looked on with smiles and hushed whispers about how 'in love' they were. the two of them moved quickly in their relationship, but nobody found anything weird with it based on how their friends watched them and how they spoke about one another in the media when asked. trevor loved bringing home flowers whenever he came back from a roadie, or just because he felt like it. he showered her with gifts from the get-go as her own life was beginning to fill with riches, as her music career took off.
but once the 1 year mark was coming closer and closer, she began to feel a sense of dread. a sense of anxiety and fear, she hadn't had before. whenever she heard his name in passing or whenever somebody asked her about him, she'd freeze and stutter; not sure what to exactly say. or what was weirder, was that she spent more and more time at her apartment in la and not at his newport house...claiming that the record label was hounding her for an album and she was working day and night, like a dog. she did whatever she could in order to not think about him may it be hanging with friends, driving up and down the coast to san diego to visit family and taking spur of the moment trips with her friends. and when people asked her what was wrong or what she was thinking about, she'd always say 'work' and every white lie that came with that topic.
but when she see's trevor sporadically, she understands why she fell in love with him in the first place. he's charming, relentlessly nerdy, incredibly kind and respectful; all of which she adores. and while basking in that feeling for a bit of time, she feels guilty about how her feelings change when she's not with him. she then chalks it up to work, and how much pressure the label is giving her. so maybe just maybe, she'll stick it out with trevor.
Barely sleep when you sleep next to me
But I keep thinkin' I'll find a cure
I say that I'm fine, I tell you all the time
I've never felt so happy and sure
shortly after their one year, as she stays with trevor about once or twice a week, she can't help but toss and turn all night. claiming she's just stressed and overly exhausted, and he buys it all. he buys all her, "I've never been happier" or "I've never felt so sure about something in my entire life". he buys the, "once im done with the album ill move in with you." too, yet she knows they wont last. that sickening and dreadful feeling that keeps her up at night.
she goes to all of these lengths just to keep her heart from collapsing and her conscious from crumbling above her, and yet she knows right from wrong. she know's that the one that would be hurt the most is him.
But I'm so scared of my guitar'
Cause it cuts right through to the heart
Yeah, it knows me too well so I got no excuse
I can't lie to it the same way that I lie to you
but then when she sits down to write and come up with the chords for a song, she cant help but cry. everything becoming too much for her, her closest friends and producer seeing right through her. her music speaking the words, she can't help but think but not say. she knows that if she lies in a song, she'd be betraying her heart and her soul. her music being her lifelong love and escape, would truly affect her relationship with it.
So I lay in your arms and pretend that it's love
around a year and five months, she stopped writing. she stopped playing her guitar until the early morning hours. she stopped recording, citing that she was dealing with some personal issue. once the acknowledgment of 'oh shit, i need to break things off- soon' hit her mind one day during a writing session, she knew she couldn't write or sing until she did just that. and so she made her way down the coast to newport to do just that, but when she walked inside she saw a doe-eyed and blissful trevor in her midst. she crumbled right then and there, allowing him to make their way to the bedroom. she laid in his arms, not being able to fall asleep once again; and reminding herself that she loved trevor .. or at least needed to remind herself more. was it though? at least on her part?
I was ravin', no boy like you I had the nerve to just stop stringin' you all along But I'm not half as decent as you I'd rather be tied to someone, even if they're wrong
trevor was the guy, she thought when they first met. she thought that they were end game and would go to the absolute ends of the galaxy to believe that, to show and make people believe it too. and after some point, she felt guilty about stringing him along and talking about their future plans together. another morning she stopped by abruptly on her way from san diego, she knew she had to break things off with him. yet when she arrived at his place, she found him making breakfast and the brightest smile she hadn't seen in awhile. he went along and continued with his breakfast but not before making a cup of coffee for her and a extra serving of his breakfast for her. before leading her over to the dining room table and held her hand as they ate. guilt crept up her spine as she looked at him, talking about something that had happened on a road trip and she felt a pang in her heart. she was a coward. rather than break the band aid and say what she'd wanted to say for months now...she let him continue to speak.
he was a better person than she was, she thought. he would have ended things a long time ago if he'd felt what she'd felt or thought. he wouldn't have continued to string her along. he was a good person like that. but her? she was half the person he was, he was a good person with good intentions. the culprit?
she didn't want to be alone.
I make excuses, my friends know the truth is I'm not as alright as I claim I say that I'm fine, I tell them all the time As they watch all the life fade away
the life was draining from her and her friends watched as it did. she was hiding herself away in her los angeles apartment, shortly after she stopped writing. they were all rightfully concerned with her mental health and wouldn't take the 'im fine's!" she hurled at them time and time again. they even reached out to trevor and even he could not get her to come out of her shell. though, he never got the full story of why she was like that. he dropped around unannounced before and after practice, sometimes staying the night but most times slipping out after she'd fallen asleep. but not without a soft kiss to her temple, and tiptoeing out. his family and friends grew concerned when he opted to stay in newport for the offseason. by the offseason, she'd gone back into the studio and pushed through. the studio eating up whatever she had written, and loved it all.
I pretend that it's love, love
'Cause what if I never find anything better? The doubt always creeps through my mind So we'll stay together 'cause how could I ever Trade somethin' that's good for what's right?
with no end in sight, she continued to push through with the relationship, trying to get back to how things were before when she was without a doubt, happy and in love. when trevor does finally leave the sunshine state to go visit family and friends, she stays up thinking about her and trevor's future. would she find anybody better than him? would she find the love that they shared early in their relationship? would she find somebody almost as arrogantly confident? somebody with an infinite passion for what they do? their (affectionately) dumb friends who adored her? and somebody with a zest for life? her journals filled to the brim that summer with what had been eating her up inside.
when trevor comes back right before the season begins, he take's her out to malibu one early morning before the sunrise. she was groggy and tired from the night before, and so when she was awoken abruptly she groaned; trying to desperately to go back to bed. trevor said that he wanted to go for a sunrise and she hummed, thinking he'd go by himself. but instead, he tickled her enough to wake her up and she dreaded getting out of bed. they drove up to malibu that September 2nd, and held one another as he wrapped his arms around her from behind. he bit the inside of his cheek, body filled with nerves and anxiety. he whispered her name to begin with, and in the most trevor and most un trevor way, he proposed. she turned around to see him with tears in his eyes and visible anxiety washed over his features. she smiled softly feeling the inside of her scream to say no and beg her to leave the life she grown used to the past mere months. her smile grew wider and faker, as she said yes. trevor had gotten her dream ring from new york, and she gushed as he pulled it out. tears swelled her eyes as she felt her heart tug at the effort he'd made for her. she was going to show him the same effort as well, even if it hurt her to no end.
her record label demanded an ep of some new songs they knew she undoubtedly had written after she got engaged. her album release was a massive success, going #1 and platinum in many countries. her career was reaching new heights and she was engaged? she was the it girl everybody wanted to be. yet she felt so very far from it, but kept that signature smile on at all times.
she felt herself buy into the idea of marrying trevor when she saw how excited her family was when they showed up to a private dinner the very evening of her album released. they gushed and gushed over the ring and endless possibilities her and trevor could have together. she saw how good both of their families bonded and got along with one another. she could feel the pride and gratitude that oozed off of trevor that night. he loved - no absolutely adored this life the universe had bespoked upon him. the singer was just another addition. he thought he had everything before they met, but when he saw her get absolutely hammered at a party they were both invited to; he was enamored. the grace she carried herself with when dancing, talking, singing and most importantly; the love she oozed for her friends was intoxicating. he could not and never wanted to get enough of it.
the look he gave her that night was one she'd never, ever forget in this lifetime. it was how all girls wished to be looked at. the one that would spare nothing to make their partner happy. the one where you know they'd go to the ends of the earth for you and with you. it was as if she hung the moon and the stars for him.
who would pass that up?
I let the thought in, it's already done
she brought into the idea of going through with the wedding after the release party and found herself immersed in wedding planning. she found herself non stop traveling with trevor that summer, after a serious playoff run. she found herself thinking of their future together because lets be honest, it was there. and she couldn't help but get excited just a bit when trevor had said, that she was going to be most beautiful bride and future mom to ever grace this planet. she looked at him through the mirror and again that look, captivated and brought her in.
◦ But I lay in your arms and pretend that it's love Yeah, I lay in your arms and pretend it's enough
their wedding was a dream. an absolute dream. hollywood and hockey royalty showed up and showed out. the wedding of all weddings. they danced the night away to taylor swift. then as a surprise, trevor and his groomesman shamelessly, did a group dance to one of her upbeat songs as she sat there blushing like a fool, covering her face in embarrassment. they spent the night basking in everybody's presence, the singer not having a second to spare a second thought about what was going to be coming in the next few months. she knew that the world and everybody in their lives would be asking about kids and what not. yet, she pushed that towards the back of her mind. she played the role of a loving and adoring newlywed. she smiled to the camera's as if there was no tomorrow. her friends actually believing that she was happy and that she had found her way back to trevor. and in a way, that was true. she felt stuck with no way out.
the couple retreated back to the ritz carlton new york hotel suite, with a bottle of very expensive champagne, thin slice pizza and new york cheesecake. after stuffing their faces in between making out, the two fell asleep. or at least trevor did. the singer looked up at the ceiling, wide awake and unable to sleep. she had played the part this long...what was another ten?
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──
umm....sorry about that! part two is coming at some point because i wanna hurt myself even more lmao...
please like and reblog if you did and id love to hear your thoughts too!
tags: @cuttergauthier @zegrasbabyyy @hockeyboysarehot @slafgoalskybaby @sc0tters @sweetestdesire @jayda12 @starshine-hockey-girl @cellythefloshie
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natsmagi · 6 months
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tbh you should just sexualize your fem Tsumugi more. I'm talking full on fetish hentai style. Put her in the open boob sweater. Have her accidentally flash while leaning fowards. Have her slip and show pantsu. Full kink with no breaks. Please shut these anons up. People trying to police your creativity like it has some sort of reflection on your morals or beliefs. I also wish you would stop answering them? or at least tagging it as anon hate because it's so sad to keep seeing people be so mean to you over and over when most of us just want to enjoy your big brain takes and drawings. Maybe I'm getting parasocial bc I get so sad seeing people hate on your Tsumugi I love her she's just like me fr!!! All that matters is that you enjoy how you draw her and I hope you don't feel pressured to change your headcanons.
HWEISUHRUHKDHG I SHOULDDDDDDDDD I SHOULD UR RIGHT ive been too prudish as of late. need to be insane again. Tbh ive made some art that was made purely bc i am a freak and insane but i feel like its never the art people would expect it to be. And thats really funny to me. like my more explicit stuff is just drawn for fun But if uve ever looked at a drawing of mine and gone "this seems kind of freakish conceptually even though the execution isnt super weird" Well thats probably bc it actually is freakish. sorry. My suggestive art is usually just for the vibes tho i DID also like. yesterday?? discover a twt acc that will sometimes post various lingerie fits SO!! MAYBE ILL DRAW SOME SOON 💪💪
AND AUGHHH I KNOWWWW in the beginning i thought itd be worth replying to people bc i was like "well this is all kind of niche. im sure they have good intentions so we might aswell talk it out" But as things progress its been made clear thats doing me or anyone else no favors. i love having discussions, so i reply to most of my asks! but i do hope that ive made myself clear enough and that we can all just continue doing our own things im sorry to hear its made you sad though!!!!! rest assured its not something that demotivates me, nor is it something that makes me feel i need to change how i draw. i do what i do because i enjoy it! and i know others enjoy it too! i will never be able to appeal to everyone, and that has never been my goal. i like having fun with others though, which is why i enjoy hearing why others might think differently than me!
but yes! i already feel ive said my piece on the whole discourse thing by now and i hate walking in circles, so even if i get negative asks about it i likely wont answer unless i feel its warranted. but! if that does happen, ill be sure to tag it! you can mute "#discourse tag" ahead of time incase i ever end up using it
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