#and that’s because I keep my negative opinions contained in places where people who like those characters don’t have to see it

[pan-withnoplan]

@lakewillowmerewraith let me tell you something about boundaries.

I run a confession blog for a different fandom. It's mostly a positive environment, but as with most fandoms, there are also ship wars, people who thirst for "negative" characters, and occasionally rotten takes. Since the first day, I knew I had to set boundaries, but I also knew that I couldn't let those boundaries be about me and my personal preferences and dislikes. It wouldn't be fair if I deleted positive confessions about my notp/criticising my ships/depicting nsfw headcanons/shipping a beloved character with a hated character.

Because that was a blog that I made, but I made it for everybody in my fandom to feel welcome, not just those who I believed shipped/held the "correct, pure, unproblematic" ships/opinion, and it isn't fair to police real people because of fictional characters. What confessions I could reject, were those who actively hated on real people. For example: “This female character whom some people see as a transfem allegory canonically had a brief relationship with a black woman, so people who ship her with this white male character who was mean to her and "deadnamed" her are all racist, homophobic, and abuse apologists”. And “All X shippers are racist/misogynist/homohobic/etc etc” and “people who say [perfectly harmless thing] are gross/cringe. touch grass” and “stop being so damn [ableist slur]”. Those are the things I need to protect and shield my followers from, not the thirst confessions about the villain who manipulated and betrayed the female character. I also have an extensive tag system that allows people to avoid things they don't want to see. I get inbox that I don't like every day and still, as long as they aren't harmful to real people, I publish them all because it's not about what I want from my blog, it's about enriching my fandom and giving a voice to everybody. I've fucked up occasionally, but I am proud to say that mostly I have been praised for keeping a welcoming, safe, and positive space.

This is what I mean when I say that @elainarcheronweek's mods that have pushed for the decision to have certain Elain ships banned are partial, biased, and unfit to run an event that's supposed to belong to all Elain fans, not just the mods, not just the ones who they believe ship her with the correct character. It's not Healthy Elain Week, it's just Elain Week. And it's despicable that they can just decide to reject fanworks on which real people spent time and energy and feelings, just because they don't like the pairing or they make them feel icky. Because it's just that, right? You said it yourself. Not "fans feel uncomfortable about tamlain and beronlain", it's "the mods have the right to lead their event how they want to". And I say no, it's not only their event, it's Elain's event, Elain's fans's event, and no, they don't have the right to lead that event how they want to if that means punishing fans and creators because of a personal dislike. As I said, they didn't like the "icky" ships and decided to make it everyone else's problem. They "eliminated" the threat of big bad "toxic" elain ships, but they've done nothing to silence the people who accuse tamlain and beronlain shippers of being abuse apologists even when those works contain Tamlin and/or Beron redemption. This is not letting darkfic have the right to exist, it's purity culture. Denying those works a place on the platform out of a personal preference is quite literally censorship.

"But fans really have been feeling uncomfortable with tamlain and beronlain! What about them?" So use the fucking tag system. Make a post where you explain there will be works thay might trigger people and tell them to block the tamlain and beronlain tags. Ask people to suggest other potential triggers so you can update the list. Include the list of potential triggering tags in the master post. It's that simple and it would have saved the whole fandom a lot of drama and disappointment. It's always so baffling for me to think that grown ass people refuse to curate their own browsing experience or ignore the things that they dislike.

[genshin-scenarios]

Reunion: Preparations for a Trip [Part 6]

Read the first series (Adopt a Wanderer) here! An AU where Scaramouche/Wanderer gets isekaied to your world - a found-family series.

Summary: You have an audience with the Dendro Archon, and make plans to travel to Liyue!

Warnings: contains spoilers of Wanderer’s story in the archon quest!

Wordcount: 1473

Part 1

Part 5 <-

After deciding that you’d like to travel to Liyue since you were already in Teyvat, Kuni was quick to find an excuse to leave Sumeru and accompany you. One condition he hadn’t foreseen though, was Nahida asking to be introduced to his ‘new friend’.

The dendro archon is not what one would call severe or intimidating. Despite her powers over dreams and reading people’s minds, she is known as a benevolent and kind god. You said the same when Kuni asked for your opinion on Nahida, which is how he finds himself in his current predicament - watching you and her hit it off in conversation. Namely conversation about him.

Nahida has the gall to ask you about what foods he likes, what he does in his free time, and other meaningless details that you for some reason are perfectly happy to divulge. Kuni thinks this is an invasion of privacy, while you think Nahida is just asking this for fun, seeing as anyone that observed him for long enough would know the answers to these questions.

“Are you done?” Kuni speaks up from the side of the room, where he’s been lounging in perfect distance to overhear everything. “When you said you wanted to meet Y/N, one would expect you to ask about them rather than me.”

“But they’re the only person that knows you so well! How could I pass off this chance?” Nahida chimes back with a smile. “I’m just glad that your relationship seems to be good. You hadn’t thought of anything particularly negative even though we were gossiping about you.”

“And tell me why were you reading my thoughts instead of theirs?”

“Because I can’t.”

The surprise in the room echoes with resounding silence. Nahida muses to herself, placing her teacup back onto its saucer.

“Lesser Lord— Nahida.” You try to suppress your confusion. “You can’t read my thoughts?”

“Nope. This is the first time I’ve encountered this, too.” She taps her chin. “Perhaps it simply has to do with your origins from another world. I’m a little disappointed, seeing as your dreams would’ve been very interesting to explore. With that said, this means my ability to help you find a way back home might be more limited than I thought.”

Kuni tries not to appear too relieved at that statement. You do the same, though both reactions don’t go unnoticed by Nahida, who takes another sip of tea to mask her amusement.

“Well, would you look at that?” Kuni says. “You’re not as un-extraordinary as we both thought.”

“It’s good to know you’re always my number one supporter at times like these.” You deadpan.

True to her prior agreement, Nahida doesn’t push about your mysterious source of information or attempt to seal you away. She can tell you don’t pose a threat to Teyvat in general, and seemed to be quite conscious about guarding your knowledge about the future.

All in all, a responsible person. Nahida arrives at her verdict. “Your condition seems healthy, so there should be no issues with you traveling around nations. So long as you don’t do anything that spreads the awareness of your knowledge to other parties, Kuni should be able to keep you safe. Just let me know if you ever need help with anything! I’m willing to write off the next few weeks as community service on his part.”

Nahida really does feel like Kuni’s guardian figure at times like these; their interactions are pretty wholesome.

“Thank you so much!” You bow your head in respect, before turning to Kuni. “See? That wasn’t so bad.”

“Speak for yourself.” He rolls his eyes before walking towards the exit. “If that’s all, I’ll just wait outside. I’m sure there’s stuff you want to ask the God of Wisdom.”

“We won’t be long!” You call out to Kuni, who waves his hand over his shoulder dismissively. Once he’s out of the room, you peer at Nahida - your previous confidence and bravado settling into something more nuanced. “I… I’m sorry if my presence here - in general, causes any complications.”

“I already said that you’re welcome to continue your stay, and I meant every word.” Nahida meets your gaze warmly. “Though I do not share the same burdens of knowledge as you do, my intuition tells me that you mean well. And if you could earn Kuni’s trust, that only furthers my judgment.” She trails off, refocusing the conversation. “...But that’s not what you wanted to ask me about.”

There are a hundred questions you’d like the answer to, such as the science of what allowed you and Kuni to meet all those years ago. But instead, you ask Nahida something that only you can decide for yourself. Such are the woes of human worries, to hope for an outside source to reassure or make grating decisions for you. 

“Do you think I should distance myself from all this?” You purse your lips. “I’m sure you can tell that the Traveler will be an important part of this world’s future. Maybe I should just live a quiet life until I’m returned home, and avoid interacting with those who are a part of their story.”

“Would that involve leaving Kuni behind?”

Feeling a lump in your throat, you look down at your lap. “Technically speaking, none of us would remember anything once I go home, if things worked the same as before… It’ll conclude like none of this ever happened.” That would also mean we’re spending stolen time.

Nahida reaches across the table and places her hand over yours. It’s small, but comforting. Like a leaf offering shade to a tiny animal. “Is that what you want, or are you simply feeling guilty about gaining positives from this situation?”

“I’m not sure.”

“Think about it this way.” Nahida says. “In a world where so many things are out of our control, would it be so selfish to claim what we can as ours, and spend our time doing what makes us happiest?” Her voice falls quieter. “Sometimes it’s not about what’s wrong or correct, but what’s right for us. You would not be the worst person for living by that reasoning.”

What decision would make you happier, and what feels right to you?

Dropping Kuni all of a sudden without asking for his opinion beforehand… after all he’s done for you, would most certainly feel ‘wrong’. Treacherous, even.

It seems you’ve come to a decision after all.

-

“How was the talk?” Kuni asks as you pick out supplies from a shop. You seemed a little happier after leaving the room with Nahida, who bid the both of you a safe trip in advance.

The Dendro Archon also asked for a souvenir as part of his ‘assignment’, but that’s the least of his worries for now (he’s quite sure you’ll end up buying things for Nahida anyways, with how fond you seem of her).

“She really is wise - and kind.” You smile, a bit of cheek entering your tone. “It does feel a little like nepotism to have the chance to meet her, though. You’re quite connected, ‘Hat Guy’.”

“I’m not even going to ask how you know that nickname.” He sighs, but is otherwise satisfied with your answer. Looks like whatever question you had for Nahida has been aptly answered. “There’s still an entire day ahead of us. If we leave now, we can arrive at Liyue before dinnertime.”

“Sounds good! Just let me pack some items from home and I’ll be good to go.” Your chipper mood comes to a pause as reality hits you. “W-Wait… we’ll be walking, right?”

“The entire way. Running included for you if we run into any monsters.”

“Suddenly, I’m starting to feel like being a homebody isn’t so bad after all…”

“If you hurry we can hitch-hike on someone’s carriage.”

Giving Kuni a salute, you duck into the treehouse as soon as you reach the door. “Aye aye, captain! Ow!”

Kuni gives you the grace of ignoring how you ran into the table. “By hurry, I meant under fifteen minutes. I’d like to not lug an unconscious person to Liyue.”

“You should’ve said that before I mortally wounded myself!”

“If you can still talk, you’re fine.”

Shenanigans aside, Kuni realizes this would be your second time going on a trip together. There’s no train to take or websites to book last-minute accommodations, but the look in your eyes says you have a pretty solid idea of where to go and what to do.

Hah, it seems that even now, you were still the leader in some ways. It doesn’t feel too bad, though. Things are a little less boring when he’s around you - whether it be in the way you treat him, react to his comments, or your outlander origins. It feels a little bit like having a ‘home’.

.

.

.

-> Part 7 (finale)

[thefrogdalorian]

How can you still ship Dinbo when shippers have been so disrespectful to Katee AND she said it wasn’t going to be romantic?

Hello! I'm going to put most of this answer under the cut because it contains a lot of fandom discourse for one fine Sunday afternoon. But I wanted to give your question a full answer so I can direct any future questions I may receive of a similar nature to this answer because honestly, I am not a blog that revolves around shipping and I really do not want to be one! But thank you for asking a question without being aggressive, I am more than happy to answer :)

TL;DR: I hope the disrespectful idiots step on a lot of Lego. As much as I may share a ship with them, they do not speak for me and I cannot control their behaviour. I certainly do not condone it. Also, I ship Dinbo because I personally enjoy the idea of it and as much as I respect an actor’s opinion on their character, I do not necessarily have to share it. An actor should never be harassed for an opinion, that crosses an awful lot of lines that should never be crossed. I hate that that happened just as much as you do.

Ultimately I believe in ship and let ship. I stand against harassing real life people over fiction and more than anything: always always ALWAYS treat others with kindness!

Firstly, want to start off this answer by saying that I absolutely love Katee, she’s great and she brought SO MUCH to the character of Bo. I am thrilled she was able to portray her in all her forms, we're so lucky. To make such a successful leap from animation to live action is testament to how talented she is as an actress and I feel like she deserves so much more praise than she gets. It’s sad because in all of her comment sections after Mando S3 there were endless disgusting 2% jokes after ONE tiny comment she made on a much longer podcast appearance where she shared much more interesting stories. I think that was maybe the same one as she spoke a little about Dinbo but tbh, I haven't actually watched it because I can't stand podcasts... they make me cringe 😭

Anyway, those basement-dwellers focused on borderline sexually harassing her because of how attractive she is to them, rather than appreciating her talent. That just… absolutely sucks for her. I feel terrible for her. It was so widespread too and lasted for months… really hard to watch, tbh. But as far as I’m aware, it wasn’t Dinbo shippers that were leaving those comments.

Now, that’s not to deny that Dinbo shippers have taken things too far at some point, I’m sure they have! It wouldn't be the first time shippers in a fandom have crossed a line and sadly, it won't be the last. But I personally didn’t see it because I try and stay out of fandom discourse as much as I can. I really only have the energy and appetite to interact with the chill, respectful people on my little corner of the internet. If I ever saw anything that disrespected her, I would 100% call it out.

However, I do know there was that one panel appearance where people booed her or something? Ngl, I never watched the clip because just hearing about it made me cringe too much… (wow I really have a low tolerance for these things). I think, though, that it is a case of entitled assholes being entitled assholes, regardless of what they ship. It isn't a ship that makes them behave that way, that's the excuse, but really it's their idiotic, selfish nature. I think it would be a shame, then, to tarnish entire groups of people who might be enjoying a ship in a perfectly respectful way with that same brush, I don’t think that helps keep fandom spaces kind places to be. Absolutely screw all the people who have been disrespectful to Katee, I don’t condone that AT ALL. But equally, I am not responsible for actions of everyone who happens to ship the same thing as I do.

As much as I admire Katee and she absolutely DOES NOT DESERVE ANY NEGATIVITY FROM FANS, she is an actor at the end of the day. An actor’s opinion on a character is exactly that... their opinion. They portray them as their personal interpretation of the character and how they’re directed to, of course. I'm not arrogant or deluded enough to believe I know more about Bo-Katan Kryze than the person who portrayed her. I don't at all think that, but I think I can still disagree with Katee's opinion because, y'know, I'm human and humans don't always agree on everything.

The great thing about media is that audience can come away with a totally different view of the same character. Once the work is out there in the world, it takes on a life of its own, for better or worse. Sometimes beyond what even the creator intended originally. It’s like, for example, after you finish reading a book and you discover that other readers interpreted the exact same words in a completely different way. Some of those opinions you might agree with or entertain, some you completely disagree with and wonder how the hell they can even think such a thing. A portion of such interpretations probably aren’t even what the author intended, like this golden piece of tumblr history: the curtains were fucking blue.

This kind of thing has happened to me with my own writing before! People thinking a plot will go in a completely different way to what I intended. It's always a strange feeling, but as long as you don’t berate the author/fellow readers with different opinions, I think it’s perfectly reasonable to draw your own conclusions about it. After all, art is meant to be interpreted in many different ways. That’s the beauty of engaging with and creating art, to me.

At the end of the day, we're all bony sacks of meat with our own individual lizard brains and it would be boring if we all thought the same! Of course I still respect Katee’s opinion. If she says she wasn’t playing Bo to have romantic feelings towards Din then I’m not going to say she’s lying or get frustrated at her! That’s genuinely how she played it. Equally, it won’t really change my opinion because I know what I, personally, believe I saw in their interactions! Katee is more than welcome to share her thoughts, I would never think that she should stay quiet because I disagree with what she said… but equally I don’t have to let her words stop me from shipping something I enjoy! Plus I don’t think any of the cast know how Mando will end. Maybe they have some general plot ideas set out but nothing is final yet.

Ultimately, I’m equally happy for Din to end up with Bo or another love interest, if it makes sense for his character and feels right for the story, as I am for it just to be him and Grogu. The love he has for Grogu will always be the most important thing in his life. Loving a child like that changes you as a person and I love that we got to see how he evolved into a much better man because of it. Not to be a simp or anything but he truly is the best man in the world and I love him so much my chest aches.

A final point: I think if we just took actors and creators’ words as gospel then fandom would ultimately become a much duller place to be. Speculation and shipping are FUN (when done respectfully, of course). There’s so long to wait between seasons that if I just watched Mando repeatedly and never considered a different way to view the story… I just think it would be boring for me, personally. Enjoy the show however you want, watch it and interpret it however you want...but equally I will do the same! If you don’t share my ships and headcanons then that’s totally fine, as long as we can both respect each other and not lose our humanity.

Like I’ve said before, I welcome ALL Din ships and headcanons for Din or indeed for any characters. We may disagree on some of them, but ultimately, I am not right and you are not wrong… we’re all just nerds on the internet. And I’ll always try to make my blog a friendly, welcoming place to be for anyone who stops by, I really take that vow to you and anyone reading this very seriously.

I hope that answers your question and you can see where I’m coming from. I'm glad to have said my piece and I think any future questions I get like this, I'll just direct to this answer because it really sums up how I feel.

Thanks for reading if you made it this far. I just wanted to end this with what I said at the beginning: ship and let ship, don’t harass real life people over fiction and treat others with kindness… that’s my philosophy and it’s one that I’ll always stick by :)

[rose-riot-johnson]

Hey my Tumblr Peeps😃I just decided on another idea to write down in a Choso fanfic🙂👍I was gonna write son something else down in this Choso fanfic, however there's a change of plans for this particular Choso fanfic. And also considering that I'm working on a requested fanfic, I usually will complete the request fanfic first, I just have a hard time thinking about what to write in the requested fanfic at the moment right now and apologies for completing this fanfic before the requested fanfic I'm also working on. I promise I still will complete the requested fanfic😃👍It's just right now I feel that I could come up with ideas for this Choso fanfic...

*This fanfic will contain plenty of pronouns and the words "these people" in 1 or more paragraphs😅 This fanfic also contains 1 or more long paragraphs😅

🥀Please Tell Me What's Bothering You?🥀(Choso x They/Them Reader)

Genres: Angst and Comfort (Warning +18 ⚠️: Trigger Warnings (including self harm, depression, and anxiety) and Language)

Both you and Choso have been married for a few years. Your relationship with Choso, before and after getting married may have it's ups and downs, however neither had any major issues at the time. It's like both you and Choso have been an open book to eachother. However one day things have changed about you, especially in your marriage with Choso...

Unfortunately you were in a public place without Choso, because Choso decided to take care of chores in your home you share with him. Once a few people you knew saw you in a public place they decided to be nosy about your life. You then, told them about your happiness and your marriage with Choso, before these people decided to criticize about your lifestyle (and Choso's lifestyle), the fact you haven't up on being a jujutsu sorcerer giving some opinions about it, and the fact that these people actually complained about your marriage with him, as if these people feel you shouldn't be happy, if they're not happy, while judging you for being married to Choso due to them somehow knowing that he's a half curse and a cursed womb (neither you nor Choso told them about that in the past). You became extremely stressed to the point you emotionally felt like you had to keep everything to yourself from now on, especially what happened between you and these people who were mean to you in the public place. That means not telling Choso any of the horrible conversation that happened that day.

Since after the conversation that day, you have been feeling horrible about yourself and guilty about your happiness. You have tooken some personal time off from your duties jujutsu sorcerer you enjoyed, which have never given a reason for it. You have became more and more depressed, the more time went by. It's even getting where you have given up on the life style you enjoyed to make and/or keep others happy, isolated more yourself frequently than usual, and many other negative factors... That includes your marriage with Choso.

Whenever Choso notices something has been bothering you and he tries asking questions about it and/or even tries to nicely talk to you into talking you into opening up to him, you either kept quiet or tell him nothing, or pretend to be fine, or try to argue with him, or even full on snap at him. However instead of prying things out of you or even try to argue with you, he will decide to let it go, until some other time. He just feels bad for you. He's not sure, if he did anything wrong and/or anything to hurt you or why have you changed for the worst, etc... He really just wished you would open up to him.

One night you decided to take a bath, Yuji Itadori called Choso's cellphone to see if he knew anything that caused you to take time off from being a jujutsu sorcerer, as he then replied, "What? (They/Them Reader took time off from being a jujutsu sorcerer? I didn't know anything about it, until you just told me, little brother... (They/Them Reader Name) hasn't been opening up to me about anything aside from probably trying to argue with me or snapping at me for over a month... I been trying to leave (They/Them Reader Name) alone, because I was trying not to pry anything out of (They/Them Reader Name) until they're ready to talk about it... Thanks for telling me, Itadori... I will try to comfort (They/Them Reader Name), then...". Not too long after Choso finished his call with his younger brother Yuji Itadori, he decided to check on you in the bathroom... Once he opened the bathroom door to check on you (considering that you always leave the bathroom door unlocked), he then found out what you really were trying to do with your time in the bathroom, a he caught you with a knife in your dominant hand...

While you were shocked that Choso walked in the bathroom, however he was more shocked that you have cuts on the arm that is on the same side as your recessive hand, as he notices that you have cut yourself with the knife you were holding. He then took the knife from you with his right hand, then turned off the bath water that's inside the tub you were going to take a bath in, as he then said, "I guess you can forget about your bath then... I should have known what you're up to when I saw you going in the bathroom... Wheather you like it or not, I'm going to bandage your arm you cut up, until cuts are covered and we're going to have a talk, because I would like to have an understanding with you, (They/Them Reader Name)...".

Once Choso bandaged the arm you cut up to the point all of your cuts have been more than covered up, he explained, "Look (They/Them Reader Name) eversince the day you left home to go to a public place and before you came home, you have been acting differently than you usually did ad it seems to me you haven't been yourself. I didn't want to pry into telling me anything, because I didn't want an argument to happen, because of it. You've seem to have given up on everything you enjoyed and even isolated yourself from possibly everyone. And don't think that I never know that you have tooken some personal time off from your duties jujutsu sorcerer you enjoyed doing, because I just found out from my brother Yuji Itadori earlier about this and asked me if I knew why you took time off from being a jujutsu sorcerer and he told me which have never given any the other jujutsu sorcerers areason for it which what he told me makes sense considering I could tell you have became more and more depressed each day that went by. You best tell me now... Please.... Tell me why you haven't been yourself and why you cut yourself..." You weren't sure what else to do, so you explained to Choso about the people (who knew you and you knew) that you saw in the public place you went to, which these people were nosy about your life, then you told him that after you told them about your lifestyle, his lifestyle, your marriage with Choso, and everything else you told them, they decided to criticize about your marriage with him, due to the fact that they knew that he was a cursed womb who is a half curse (which you assured him you never told them this) and everything else that makes you happy that they gave only horrible looks for, especially you not giving up on being a jujutsu sorcerer, and they did nothing except complained and pick at you (especially about Choso), as if everything you were doing is wrong in their eyes and calling you and Choso a evil monsters. You have also confessed to him that you became extremely stressed to the point you emotionally broke down and held everything inside of you and felt obligated to prioritize making them happy instead of keeping yourself happy. You did told him that you were worried you would upset him and afraid he would divorce you, if he was to know anything that's been bothering you.

Choso was definitely shocked about what you have explained to him as he said, "So, that's why you haven't been yourself for a while... It makes sense... I just wished you would have told me this earlier, because everything that has been happening, because of the jealous and mean words from some toxic and self righteous jerks who seemed to can't let anyone else be happy unless it's something they like, apparently... Yes, I would have been upset, if you were to tell me... Not at you, so no I'm never divorcing over some assholes' opinions they were nitpicking you or us on... If I was to get pissed at anyone it would be at them for stressing you out the way they did... I'm not sure if they were aware of putting stress on you or not, however I'm not letting this happen to you again for what happened... Tough I wished I knew this and you would have told this earlier, I'm okay with knowing this now, because that means I can makesure to comfort you, to also makesure that you're not staying in this state you have been in or atleast try to prevent your well-being from being harmed ever again.". You then hugged him, as you began to sob, as you apologized, "I'm sorry I put you through this Choso... It's all my fault... If I didn't go to this public place that day, non of this would have happened.", hugging him tighter, as you cried on his shoulder. He then started touching your hair, as he assured, "How is this all your fault, my princess? The only mistake you made was not telling me this and letting anxiety and depression take over your actions due to rude comments from others. Otherwise, you did nothing wrong, my sweetie... These people harmed your self-esteem... You didn't know what was going to happen... And I love you, cuteness.", proceeding to peck, kiss one of your facial cheeks. You stopped sobbing, as you then replied, "I love you too, Choso...", before you kissed his forehead.

After you kissed Choso's forehead you then continued, "And thanks for comforting me, Choso...". Choso then replied, "No problem, (They/Them Reader) and I mean anytime...". Eversince the conversation Choso had with you, you and Choso have been coming to eachother more on what's bothering you (and what's bothering him, too), as you and Choso have been closer to eachother, than ever, in your marriage with him. Nothing can distance distance you from anything you love, ever again, including being a jujutsu sorcerer and your husband Choso.

🌹The End🌹

Okay my Tumblr Peeps, anyone who is having a difficult day, week, month, or year, hopefully this Choso fanfic helps🥀🌹And those who are doing fine I still hope you enjoyed this Choso fanfic, as well🌹I will admit, I think it's 1 of the darkest Choso fanfic, if not exactly the darkest Choso fanfic I've written, so far (I have written another Choso fanfic that might have been a dark fanfic)🥀 I couldn't come up with alot for this conclusion, so I do hope this fanfic makes your day and/or night my Tumblr Peeps🥀☀️🌕🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹😃👍

[xhanisai]

People should be more like me and pretend that the character(s) they hate or really dislike just doesn’t exist at all. Just scroll past. Just block out the names. And create my content how I like it.

[dreadfutures]

This question has a lot of possible answers, but I really want to start writing a longfic of my inquisitor, but I don't know how to start such a big project, i suppose?

Do you have any advice?

Thank you for the ask! I'm very flattered, and I hope anything I say resonates. insert many shrug emojis. my opinions, my experiences, my criticism, whatever is contained in the rant below, isn't universal.

My advice is first to figure out what you need to finish. I don't mean to come up with an ending necessarily--rather, what will motivate you to reach the finish line? Do the introspection and get to know yourself honestly. Do you need a cheerleader? Is it having a specific ending scene in mind that will motivate you? Is it having a clear path forward (like an outline) of steps you need to make to get your story from start to finish? Is it consistent feedback? Something else? Do you need visuals and commissions to keep you happy? Do you need to RP a character to embody them?

(For me, it's consistent feedback that helps keep me motivated!)

Then, set yourself up for success. The key to writing a longfic is...writing a long fic.

There are a million reasons not to write a fic, and a million reasons to stop writing a fic. Most of them are self-derived, and so you want to set yourself up not to self-sabotage. You want to be in a position of trust with yourself where you are neither making things unduly hard on yourself, nor sucking the joy out of writing for preventable reasons. You want to trust that the reason you stop writing your fic is because you truly, honestly, no longer wish to write it because you just don't want to tell that story anymore. Not because you aren't getting attention (whatever attention means); not because you got negative feedback for an idea or character; not because you are failing to meet a Standard of Excellence that doesn't exist.

Fuck the rules of writing.

There's a million self help articles about writing best-practices. They can be a great way to see how people approach it. Maybe something will work for you! But don't treat advice as rules. Don't let anything suck the joy out of creation. Write because you want to write; write how you want to write. It can be out of order. It can be chronological. It can be outline-first, or totally improvisational. There's no right or wrong way to write a story! And you can absolutely change the way you write as you go along, if something isn't bringing you joy or helping you tell the story you want to tell, the way you want to tell it. But step one of writing a longfic is committing to yourself that you're going to treat yourself kindly, and write it for the sake of writing it. :)

If you need a cheerleader, consistent feedback, etc., join a writing community.

Whether or not you end up posting things as you write them, or waiting until you are absolutely done writing to post things--it is very hard to get consistent feedback from readers alone. Having a positive and supportive writing community that encourages consistent and ongoing sharing and mutual appreciation is a great motivator. A community is a place of mutual support, a group of like-minded people who want to see each other succeed at a common way of life.

There are many wonderful writing communities out there. Discord, writeblr, writing twitter, dreamwidth, or even the NaNoWriMo forums! REMEMBER, these spaces EXIST for YOU to USE. So stop being shy and USE THEM. Treat them as a tool, if you need to. But a community can't help you if you don't engage with it. People want to hear about your story plot, your characters' motivations, the weird research you're doing into 18th century crown molding or italian glass-works murders. Don't be a drain or a drag -- be sure to offer what you receive, too! -- but also if YOU need support then YOU need to stop lurking and YOU need to engage and YOU need to ask for whatever it is YOU need out of that space. :)

If you need organization and structure, look into classical story structures and get something on the fucking page.

You of course do not need to follow rules, but they can be helpful handlebars to getting your ideas out of this chaos of bullet points and random gushing and into something more like a story. You will find what works for you! Getting an outline down, feeling accomplished, and knowing what's ahead of you can be so important to self-motivation.

When I'm in a place where I need to outline, I usually gush into paragraphs, then break them down into bullet points of actions/events and their consequences, and then I write them on index cards and move them around until I have a plot that I like. Then, I tackle writing them according to the mood of those scenes/arcs/whatnot, and whatever my mood is at the time. But that's just my process, and my point is to find your process. :)

Write. Commit to writing. Put words in front of other words. Do not worry about if they're the right words; do not worry if they're in the right structure or right order.

If you are an organized finish-the-story-before-you-ever-post-chapter-one kind of writer (this is my approach to my original fiction) you will likely want to edit things a lot. Prune and curate and polish....when you're done. Your outline may tell you where you need to go and what your ending is, but you really truly absolutely cannot know if something works or not...if something is missing or not...until it is ALL laid out as a whole. Nitpicking and kicking yourself over the grammar of chapter 4 when you still have 12 chapters to go after that just means you will never write chapter 12. It is absolutely okay to trash everything you've written once you reach the end in that kind of process! But you want to have a bird's eye view to make those kinds of decisions, and not be toiling away in the fields season after season without seeing any kind of fruit of your labor.

On the other hand, if you're an improv writer (I post-as-soon-as-a-chapter-is-done for fanfics, and that means that what happened in the last chapter...has to make sense for what happens in the next chapter, hence the 'improv' analogy)--committing to writing can be hard. But it's the same idea as I just described. You won't actually know how you're doing, how your story is turning out, until...it's turning out.

Take off the pressure. It's fanfic.

You can edit things once they've been posted! You can rewrite! You can have different "version" and "editions" or whatever your heart wishes! It's okay! There's no right way or wrong way to write fanfic, except to NOT write fanfic!

You can have silly moments that aren't "tight, lean story telling." You can get away with including things that would get trimmed out of a traditionally published novel. You can have drabbles and spin offs and write what-ifs and take breaks, you can fuck around for a whole month and not write a single thing if you need to recharge, you can write out of order, you can post things in chunks or serialized installments, you can finish the thing wholly and post it every monday, or you can try and sit down and pants-it every saturday, or have no posting schedule at all!

You're not making money off of this. You're not trying to do Search Engine Optimization or develop a Following and become an Influencer by writing this. If that's what you want...there are WAY easier avenues than by writing, let alone by writing fanfic. Don't rob yourself of the joy of writing a cool story about a character you made up and throwing them into situations you concocted, just because there's some bar you set so high for yourself for............fanfiction.

And...don't delete your art!!!!

If you're going to delete your art by golly be sure it's not a form of self harm. So many people are like "my fic isn't getting engaged with, and that must mean it sucks and that must mean I suck, so i'm going to delete it." Well, now there is absolutely no way anyone CAN engage with it, or tell you that you don't suck, and in fact you will probably be LESS LIKELY TO BELIEVE someone when they say you don't suck because you removed any evidence that they might point to about what they liked!!!

Just post another version of the fic! Let your old readers know! Or just who cares, rewrite it and replace it. But don't delete your craft out of self harm, goddamn,

[bluethepineapple]

Ron and the Horcrux: An Alternate Reading

I've read a whole bunch of theories and discussions about why Ron was the most affected by the Horcrux, and I just want to throw my two cents in.

One of the more popular theories seem to be that either the Horcrux was purposely singling him out because it sensed that Ron would destroy it, and another seemed to be that he was carrying much heavier insecurities and burdens than both Harry and Hermione. (This is as I have seen only though.)

I disagree with both.

While Ron did have quite a lot of worries and insecurities, they weren't significantly more than Harry's or Hermione's. Harry had the weight of leadership and the prophecy on his shoulders. Hermione has been entrusted with not only researching the Horcruxes, she was also practically carrying the logistics of their operations at that point. Any failure or mistake on her part could hold dire consequences for the Wizarding World. Ron's fear for his family and his insecurities regarding his relationships with the people he loves isn't more or less of material for the Horcrux, it's simply a different flavor of the same suffering.

No, I think that Ron was simply more VISIBLE in the way he reacted to the pain. And this happened or two reasons. First, Ron is the member of the trio who is most comfortable expressing his emotions. Second, (and more importantly), he was also the only person in the Hunt for whom leaving was actually a legitimate option.

First: Expressing Emotions.

Harry is the type to endure pain in silence. He is used to hurting, and even more used to no one being there when he needed them the most. He learned to not bother asking for help long before Hogwarts, and his time in school did not make that mentally better. He was constantly disbelieved, and he had to finish adventures alone more often than not. Harry is used to just riding out the pain, and that makes emotional outbursts rare for him. This indicates a tendency towards internalization and self-isolation.

In the Hunt, this translates to getting buried under the weight of leadership. It means feeling as if he has to take everything on his own. Even more importantly, it means sitting in that cesspool of toxic emotion until he suffocated. Worst comes to worst, Harry blows up, but until then, it looks like Harry brooding in silence.

Hermione, on the other hand, functions by compartmentalization. She is highly logical, and part of that means that she works best when there is structure. Sometimes that structure is external. Most times though she builds it herself (as we see through her rigid study schedules), and this holds true for her emotions.

She is a highly emotional person, but she also very rarely acts on them. Her slapping Malfoy, setting the canaries on Ron, and attacking him after his return are so shocking both to the readers and her own friends because her emotions are often quite contained. Instead of acting on them in the moment, she channels her feelings through working and solving the problems that elicited the emotions in the first place. And this is only if she decides not to take the high road.

In the Horcrux Hunt, this looks like her constant movement. She keeps planning, brainstorming, managing the food, and ordering both Harry and Ron around. She had a to-do list, and it is through this constant movement and work that she alleviates the possible negative emotions that the Horcrux may have stirred up within her. Aside from the occassional snappishness, the negative effects on her did not result in visible outbursts.

Now to Ron. Ron is a very emotionally expressive guy. Furthermore, he's a loud guy. Coming from a huge family with a lot of competition, being loud is the only way he gets heard. And we see this all throughout the books. He is outspoken with his opinions. If he finds something stupid, he says so. If he is happy, he shows it. If he is nervous, it affects EVERYTHING he does (see: being the Quidditch keeper). Relative to Harry and Hermione, Ron is very much in touch with his emotions, and that makes him very reactive.

And this means, that coupled with the fact that his sore points all have to do with his place in the team, the effect of the Horcrux means loud blow-ups at the people he perceives have slighted him. The targets for his insecurities are RIGHT THERE, and his already short fuse has been made shorter by not only the Horcrux but also the terrible conditions of the Hunt. Ron loses all control of his emotions, and it manifests as anger against the people he strongly feels have not valued him.

Second: The Option of Home

By the time the Horcrux Hunt started, Harry and Hermione don't actually have homes to come back to. Even worse, there is no chance of asylum for either of them. Harry Potter was condemned by a prophecy and is Undesirable#1. The closest he has to a family is the Weasleys, and his presence will place them all in unnecessary danger.

Then not only is Hermione a muggle-born, but she had voluntary removed herself from her parents lives, and she did it in a way that is pretty difficult to return from. Unlike Ron who is believed to still be with his parents, Hermione is very clearly with Harry. Even if she wasn't an Undesirable, she would still have been hunted by virtue of being muggle-born. There really is no place where she could go back to and expect to remain safe.

Ron, on the other hand, while considered a blood-traitor, is STILL pure-blood. In fact, him going home is probably what is safest for his family. It is an option that he and only he ALONE has. Him storming out of the Hunt isn't a sign that he was more affected than most - that happened because HE COULD. He has a family to come back home to, and one with resources to not only support him, but actually keep him safe. Yes, they'd be mad at him, but they also wouldn't turn him away.

Of the three of them, Ron was the only for whom leaving actually made sense.

Conclusion:

While Ron wasn't disproportionately affected by the Horcrux, he did react in the most VISIBLE manner. This led his suffering to be the most visible among the Trio's, but this does not mean that his suffering was necessarily "worse" by any significant degree. Nor does it mean that he was specifically targeted by the Horcrux. Ron blew up because he could. He left because he could. He was angry and he felt that it was the right thing to do.

His arc is about overcoming his insecurities and learning to stay. To attribute his leaving as anything other than his own personal decision is to do a disservice to his character and development.

[hwrryscherry]

The one where the reader is a singer

characters: HARRY x SINGER!Y/N

blurb: The reader is finishing up her brand-new album and as Harry comes to visit her on her last day of working in the studio, he gets to react to one of her songs, 34+35.

word count: 1.9K

author's note: HI GUYS! It’s been a week I think? Anyway, I’ll get back to school tomorrow so idk when imma post the next request but I’m hoping that it will be soon! Anyway, I want to thank y’all for the love and support on my writing and I hope that the anon who asked this likes it as much as I did. Never forget that you’re so golden and tpwk. AND ALSO, HAPPY 27TH BIRTHDAY TO HARRY!

    You took a deep breath right after asking for the track to be played again. To everyone else the track was perfect, but it was different for you. It just felt like something was missing and you didn't know what. And god, you were tired. You were so genuinely exhausted that if you sit up in a chair and stay silent for more than five minutes you'll simply fall asleep. You felt your eyes heaving at every blink of yours and it was only 5 pm, but you were in this studio for so long. You were inside this place for 36 hours now with no shower and no sleep. You did eat but now you were hungry again.Your shoulders were tensed up, and you couldn't feel comfortable anywhere. Not in the couch, not in the chair, not in the floor and not even stand up. All you genuinely demanded right now was to be home under your bed sheets curled up with your boyfriend of four years while taking many naps or watching many movies, but no, you needed to have this done. You needed the album to be done and were extremely thrilled to release it to your fans that were excited as well. But yes, you were so frickin' tired.

— Again... — You repeated after a long and sharp breath listening to some groans from your coworkers. You all have been listening to this one song for about an hour and a half now and you haven't actually changed anything yet. — I know, I know, and I'm sorry guys, it's just not right!

— Maybe you think it's not right, but it is and you're just making a huge deal about it. — One of your co-workers said. A girl, Lucy, one of your friends as well. You turned your head to stare at her face and gave her that glaze that made her shrug her shoulders because of it — Alright, I'm sorry.

— I'm not making a huge deal. It's just not right, and I feel like the entire album is so great and this is just wrong. Like... — You said standing up from the couch you were sitten in and walked to the table with the computers on to grab the one paper you used to write this song. You stared at it in your hands for a while as you read the letters. — See, here is the problem. So here it's "you drink it just like water" and then suddenly comes "so what you doin' tonight?", it doesn't make sense, there's something missing in here. — You go through the lyrics again as you hear more groans from the people in the room — And honestly, I'm disappointed with myself for the rest. I need to change it so badly, but I have no idea on how.

— No problem, love — You naturally said referring to his previous apologies.

   That's when you hear the sound of the door being opened. You rise your head to look at the door and see Harry, your boyfriend, walking into the room with some paper bags in his hands that contained burgers directly from In-N-Out, which was in fact your favorite Los Angeles burger place ever. He arrived in silence, trying not to make a noise for fear that you were recording something but you could note his surprised expression when he saw everyone was looking at him instead of recording.

— Sorry guys, I didn't want to disturb you. I was passing by and wanted to check up! — Harry said as he closed the door behind him and walked farther into the room. You smiled tenderly when you saw the figure of the man walking closer to you. You haven't seen each other personally in some days, and he consistently secured you so much spiritual peace, he just had such a light energy and it made you feel so good  — And also y’all had been stealing my girl for so long now! — He joked getting a slight laugh from everyone inside the studio. He approached you by wrapping your waist with one of his arms around your waist and sealing your lips together as he bends down a little.

— And Harry, technically she is maintaining us here and not the other way around — Lucy said in an ironic tone causing you to look at her quickly before letting out a deep breath and lowering your head by rubbing your sleepless eyes with the help of your hands, probably a negative result of sleep. Harry reflected the girl's words and then looked at you carefully before placing the bags on the coffee table that was next to the studio sofa.

— Why? What happened? — Harry asked encountering his gaze with yours as he crossed his arms and observed you raising your hand that contained the papers with the lyrics of your new song.

— I can't write a proper ending that I genuinely like! — You said, sounding frustrated to everyone in that room.

— The ending is good! — Another of your friends, Jaden, said as he got up and picked up one of the bags Harry had brought and then started walking again to sit on the sofa.

— Jaden, you in silence is everything to me! — You said in a mocking tone while running your hand through your hair — But you understand, don't you? — You asked Harry because he has experience with such a specific subject — It's not that it's bad, it's that I don't feel like it's ready!

— I get it! But have you already recorded? — Harry asked softly in his understanding tone. He more than anyone in this room comprehended exactly what you were feeling and he would do his best to help you since you did the same with him so many times before.

— Yes, twenty times! — Jaden murmured a little before taking a bite of one of the burgers that Harry had brought. Harry couldn't hold back the laugh when he heard the boy, as they knew each other well and Harry knew all his sassiness was based on nothing more than hunger.

— Let me hear it, so I can have some ideas to help! — Harry said looking at you, and then noticing your reaction. Your eyes widened at the man's request. It wasn't fear. It was just an apprehension and that made Harry extremely curious  — What? 

— Well... It's a little... — You said in a lower tone seeking your words.

— Promiscuous and indulgent! — Lucy and Jaden completed your sentence making Harry look at her and the boy sitting on the sofa and then Harry raised one of his eyebrows and looked at you with a smirk on his lips.

— Uh, is it about me? — Harry asked in a mocking tone, waiting for the answer that would raise his ego, of course.

— Look, let's not specify anything — You said quickly and nervously looking at the smirk on your boyfriend's face — Ok, Trevor, play the song right for the love of god! — You said getting a laugh out of Harry, Jaden and Lucy due to your despair in ending this matter.

    And Trevor did as you asked and put the song on. You sat down on the bench near the wall and crossed your arms while watching Harry's reactions. The soon as the song started everyone could notice your voice and the rhythm of it that matched the beat.

You may think I’m crazy

The way I’ve been craving

If I put it quite plainly

Just give me them babies

    You could notice Harry bouncing his head on the rhythm of the song as a sign that he liked it because you knew that he only did that to songs that he likes. And you also noticed a small smile when he listened to the end of this verse because he did remember all the times you both had talked about having a baby before.

So what you doin’ tonight?

Better say doin’ you right

Watching movies 

But we ain’t seen a thing tonight

    Again you noticed the smirk and you did smirk as well because you both knew the lack of ability that you had to watch any movie that lasted longer than two hours and you almost ended not watching anything.

I don’t wanna keep you up

But assuming can you keep it up

‘Cause then I’d like to keep you up

So maybe Imma keep you up

Boy

    Harry wasn’t looking at you, though. He was looking at the floor while bouncing his head and paying attention to the song as he was trying to catch the vibe of it and honestly you don’t know if it’s the song that had this vibe but he was looking way too hot to handle at this moment.

I’ve been drinking coffe

And I’ve been eating healthy

Know I get squeaky, yeah

Saving all my energy

    Now the chorus was about to start and you were actually excited and nervous to see Harry’s reaction of it. You two have been dating for four years now. He probably understood any little detail of this song more than anyone else.

Can you stay up all night?

F**k me till the daylight

34 35

    You started to hold back your laugh as Harry lifted his head up fastly with winded eyes and a surprised look so he could face you. It wasn’t actually your style to write songs that promiscuous so he was actually surprised at it even though he loved it. He had a smile on his face though and so did you. 

    The song kept playing as the words repeated itself and it stopped just after the second chorus so Harry passed his hands through his hair as you waited for his opinion on it. Honestly, Harry’s opinion about your music is extremely important to you because you cherish and admire him way too much and love his songs so you hope that he does too with yours.

— So... What do you think? — You asked anxiously waiting for his opinion. The truth is Harry had already listened to all the songs on his new album except this one.

— I like it! — Harry said with a smile on his lips making you breathe a sigh of relief — Maybe I can help write the rest, but they really didn't lie and it's great. The beat is good and the lyrics are catchy and everything will be fine. The point, my love, is that you are too worried! — Harry said as he approached you, placing his big, strong hands on your shoulders and massaging them lightly feeling all the tension in your muscles slowly dissolving — Relax, it's amazing! You got it!

   With Harry's help, you finished the song in less than an hour. When you recorded the rest and listened, you felt that now it was ready and now you could go home with him. It was simply incredible to know you could always count on him and to know that while you were together creativity would be present and life wouldn't be boring. After all, you had each other and had the art.

[astroandstuff]

Hi<3 What do you think about libra sun trine aquarius neptune & pluto in 10H?

Hi! This is just my own interpretation of how these placements might manifest in life. I'll divide this up into parts and then look at it all together so take it with a grain of salt and let me know if any of it resonates with you! Also sorry for any typos!

Side note I'm so sorry it took me so long to get to this I also apologize to the other people who have sent me asks as well. I will get to them I promise I'm just a little slow!

Libra Sun:

charming and social

indecisive

avoid confrontation

interest in society

Aquarius Neptune:

artistic and creative

independence is valued highly (not a fan of group work)

mind is always turning (potential to be scatter brained)

self-centered

humanitarian

Sun trine Neptune:

extremely imaginative

dreamy and likes things that give dreamy vibes (can avoid reality)

sensitive and caring

perceptive

artistically gifted (could be taken for granted)

Okay so how I think these placements would come together in someone's life would be someone who is social and caring, but sometimes isn't the biggest team player. I wont dive too much into Libra Sun because we all pretty much hear about our sun signs all the times. So Libra suns have the stereotype of being fake and people pleasers, but that's because they ultimately crave harmony so they might avoid confrontation to the point where it might rub others the wrong way and make others think they're not being genuine. And to an extent they're right but a libra sun might not necessarily have that intention they just really value fairness so they'll do anything to maintain that.

Now with Aquarius Neptune their minds are always turning. They are extremely creative and innovative. This doesn't necessarily mean that they are gonna be the most innovative people in the world (they can be though) but they are the people that think outside the box. Think of it this way they're the type that on a math exam solved the problem and got the correct answer, but didn't solve the problem the way the teacher taught. They view things from a different perspective. They're also the ones that would get angry when the teacher wouldn't give them full points for the question because they didn't solve it the way they were taught. They value independence and freedom not just physically, but mentally and emotionally (they might even value mental freedom more highly than the other two). They are not fans of when people try to contain or dismiss their thoughts. In all honesty one of their biggest pet peeves could potentially be when people try to change their opinions or guide their thoughts or even tell them their way of approaching things is wrong. Due to them also be out of the box thinkers they might not be the best in a group setting because they themselves understand perfectly what they want to do, but don't necessarily know how to explain their thought process to others because it's just inherent to them. This could cause some to be (or viewed by others as) a bit self-centered because they view their thoughts and ideas as the best.

Combine these two in a trine and you might get someone who is very social and extremely perceptive of their surroundings, but gets bored quickly (maybe even frustrated) with reality or mundane aspects of life. These people are extremely compassionate to the point where they want to believe everyone is like them which sadly isn't the case. Because of their great capacity for compassion and sensitivity they have very set in place morals that they abide by. These morals aren't necessarily extreme it could be as small as smile at one person every day or pick up a piece of trash. They have such a great imagination and an immense ability to be creative that they often are not the biggest fans of reality and would much rather live in scenarios they've created in their heads. Or this could also present itself as idealizing life too much and refusing to see anything bad. Think of the quote viewing the world through rose colored glasses. They can also be gifted in forms of artistic expression whether it be art, literature, music or anything that leans more to the creative mind. But this could potentially be taken for granted because it comes so naturally to them so they may not truly utilize it. If they don't have a means of channeling their artistic abilities they may begin to feel a bit defeated and might surrender their imagination and believe it best for all their creativity to stay in their minds where they may want to join them.

Pluto in 10th House:

a want for legacy and success

focused and determined

ambitious

obsessed with career/public image

power hungry (if poorly aspected)

When looking into Pluto in the 10th house the most common thing I kept running across was ambition, passion and focus. I feel like there is always a negative connotation whenever people talk about Pluto and where it lands in someone's chart which I think is a bit unfair. I mostly saw things talking about how this is a power hungry and manipulative placement, and these people could become obsessed with status and will do anything to get it, but many come to these conclusions based off those three traits I mentioned previously. Of course if you let your ambition and passion consume you or focus too much on one thing it can lead you down a dark path but that honestly happens with anything. Too much of anything isn't good. When you really look at it ambition, passion, and focus are some of the best traits to have as long as you don't let them control you.

So instead of looking at this aspect in a negative way I want to view it in a more positive light. This placement makes someone want to leave a lasting impression. They want to truly succeed in their life and show others that they can truly accomplish whatever they want. Because they are so focused and determined they are hard workers. Since they themselves know what they want and how important it is to achieve their goals they know they know the value of work and if they're putting that work they expect that from others. They are definitely not the ones to complain to about not accomplishing goals if you didn't go after them 110% because they will not understand you and you will get no sympathy from them (you might potentially irritate them). Of course there is a possibility for this placement to turn sour but remember that is a possibility with ANY placement.

Okay that's all for this one! Every time I try to keep my posts short and sweet it always backfires on me so sorry for another LONG post. Anyways I hope you enjoyed this and i hope some part of it resonated with you even in the slightest. Again this is only a small part of a bigger picture so take it with a grain of salt!

Have a lovely day everyone!

- S 🤍

[kjmsupremacist]

Felix sweet boy baby angel but Christopher Bang is literally Satan? Idk if you saw but Hyunjin ratted him out on live and said the lyrics for Red Light were toned down. I don’t want to know. I don’t. He was already talking about edging and I don’t want to know. He can keep his Scorpio Venus and his Sag Mars away from me and everyone I love. I would give anything to know his rising if sign. It’s giving Earth but there’s so much air in his chart it’s hard to be sure. 🤖

i am so happy you sent me this ask because i have been looking for an excuse to talk about red lights. I sent leon and margot a seven minute long voice message when i was doing my research for my red lights-inspired fic like that's where i'm at.

First, yes, I saw Hyunjin's comments! that's what chris gets for trying to say hyunjin wrote all the lyrics in the first place. nice try, chris. also, his scorpio venus is SEXY. i won't be taking criticism on this opinion.

Now. Please see under the cut if you want to watch me dissect Red Lights -- both the lyrics and the MV.

so, credit where credit's due--I skimmed this and this reddit posts while I was doing my research.

now. we all know that on the surface, this song is about sex (and specifically bondage and edging—that much is clear). but, ah, how's the saying go? "everything is about sex except for sex, which is about power"? sure.

yeah, it's meant to be sexy. they did that for us and im still not sure if I want to kill them for it or thank them with my life. BUT, as they mentioned in the howl in harmony video, it's primarily a song about obsession.

The first reddit post does a great (albeit kind of aggressive) breakdown of the lyrics, where it becomes really clear that they're talking about the relationship they have with their work and the relationship they have with fans. In essence, the song is about how they want to give their lives and all their time to making more content for fans so that they will continue to receive love from us. The red lights are actually the recording light on a camera (hence the line “set the mic up”).

And so a relationship like the one depicted here is dark and intense, and yes—passionate and driven by love—but ultimately, it consumes itself in the vortex of its own desire, and then peters out into a sort of blank monotony—learned through repetition, a habitual reflex instead of a true reaction.

Then, the second reddit post goes on a deep dive of some of the symbolism seen in the MV—specifically, the use of kink. This is where it gets really fun.

We mostly see Hyunjin in shibari-style bondage. OP posits (and I agree) that he is meant to represent passion without discipline. The shibari ropes are tied messily (and so therefore dangerously) which is perfect for representing how often kink (and other obsessions) can devolve—you plunge in headfirst, but you are directionless except for the insistent tug in your gut that cries for more, more.

Chan, on the other hand, is seen primarily (esp in solo scenes) bound by heavy chains. He represents discipline with no passion. In the Howl in Harmony video, I believe he mentions that after a long day of practice, he'll still find himself in the recording studio, even though he's tired. He does what he has to on autopilot, because he knows he must, because it’s the only thing he feels he can do.

If Hyunjin is mania, then Chan is depression. The chains are GREAT symbolism because this dutiful march towards burnout and beyond is, as the lyrics suggest, stemming from a desire to keep receiving love (from fans)—that if you just work hard enough then no one will ever leave you. You wish to bind the person (or people) you love to you, but in the end the bonds only weigh you down.

So then the part where they’re tied together, back to back, at the end, shows when passion and discipline come into balance. And that’s creation for the love of creation while still maintaining a respect for yourself, the art, and your audience. (or idk. maybe they just thought we'd like to see them tied to one another. and they were right).

It's also fun because while we see Hyunjin and Chan both assume positions of domination and submission, it's clear Chan is meant to be the “dominant force” here (hence discipline). The reason we do see instances of Hyunjin in power (choking Chan, standing over him on the table) is because any somewhat healthy d/s relationship involves first the surrender of power. The dom is only perceived to be in power because the sub first relinquishes it them. So. You know.

I will say I'm not sure what to say about the edging theme (BNKSJDF) besides the obvious—almost giving you what you want, but not quite.

And finally, this is not part of either of those two reddit posts, but I was ENTHRALLED by the use of mirror and mirror-esque imagery throughout the MV and in the choreo. I love mirrors as a symbol so we're going to talk about that, too.

First and most obviously, it may be a bit on the nose. In art, mirrors and reflections are often used to show that there is a deeper meaning than what is clear on the surface. So this might have just been hyunchan going "hey! it's not just about sex!"

but I think there's more to it than that. Mirrors are often used as a vessel of truth—in some Chinese myths, for example, mirrors can repel demons, as they will show a demon’s true form. Or see the Little Mermaid—though Ursula managed to change her outward appearance, she was caught in her lie when another character (sebastian, i think?) saw her reflection in the mirror.

Additionally, one’s reflection used to be thought to contain one’s soul—which is why mirrors were covered in the home of person who had just passed, so they would not be trapped as a ghost in the world of the living.

For this reason, mirrors are often also considered dangerous. Think of Narcissus, for a start, who fell in love with his own reflection and sat at the water's edge, pining, until he fucking died. Or consider the following quote (which I love) from Fernando Pessoa:

“Man shouldn’t be able to see his own face – there’s nothing more sinister. Nature gave him the gift of not being able to see it, and of not being able to stare into his own eyes. Only in the water of rivers and ponds could he look at his face. And the very posture he had to assume was symbolic. He had to bend over, stoop down, to commit the ignominy of beholding himself. The inventor of the mirror poisoned the human heart.”

We use mirrors to watch ourselves watching ourselves (and the Margaret Atwood who lives in our heads cries “male fantasies, male fantasies! You are you own voyeur!”). We perform for the mirror—often what we see in the mirror is not actually how we are seen by others! We think we may find truth there, when in reality it is a distortion. Ties itself up really nicely, I think.

In any case, this really goes well with the theme of obsession in the song—staring in the mirror asking, what do others see? What is wrong about me? What can I do better? The idea of looking in the mirror to seek what others see, both positive and negative, is common throughout. And I think their use of mirrored choreo (esp when it seems like one of them is the reflection!!), as well as mirror placement on the set of the mv, and ESPECIALLY the lovely bit at the end where they both stand staring carefully at their own reflections, all work to drive that theme home.

and i don't even know how to touch on all the color symbolism (when it changes between color and b&w?? the palette being overwhelmingly yellow and red and black???), or the lens filters (warping, blurring, etc), or the way they superimposed pieces of the video on top of other pieces, or the use of that one stark white background—without writing a fucking dissertation (and this is already a ridiculously long post) so i'll just stop here.

This is all to say, maybe what they meant was that the lyrics were a lot more aggressive about these themes and they were asked to tone them down to keep it neutral.

or maybe they're just sexy, sexy motherfuckers and their managers bonked them on the head and sent them to horny jail.

[wickedpact]

A ranking of all the TTT stories in order of how much I liked them.

(Oh god this is so long)

1 My Mother's Axe

BABY ANDYYYYYYYYYYYY. Honestly this one had the trifecta of developing a character's motivations, developing a character's backstory, & developing their personality. The story starting out with Andy teaching Nile to use the axe was so charming and fun, and you could feel that chemistry they had in Opening Fire, the way they teased and bickered with each other so naturally. I loved the wedge between them on the subject of the axe, how Nile was perhaps a little too young to understand Andy's feelings about whether or not its the 'same' axe. I also love how the axe is obviously the symbol of the franchise and hugely important, but you never get a sense of exactly how important it is to Andy until you read the story.

I love the entire Ship of Theseus theme, and how it feels so natural that for Andy she has to get attached to the idea of things rather than the things themselves because she'll always outlive the things themselves-- the axe is symbolically her mom's axe, even if physically it isn't. And I love how she clearly clings to that concept so tightly. "This is the labrys she held in her hands...." IT GETS ME.

And the fact that this sense of BELONGING, of FAMILY, of CULTURE is so important to Andy that she clings to it (figuratively and literally) with both hands. And of course it's important to her, she spent so long alone that the woman doesn't even remember her birth name. That axe (or the idea of that axe) is all she has left of her mother and that family/culture she was born into.

PLUS on that note I love how Andy doesn't remember if her mom was her actual biological mother, but it doesn't matter to her. This woman was her mother in all the ways that counted. And how her mom BETRAYED AND KILLED Andy but Andy loved her so much that she avenged her and carried her axe for thousands of years. THOUSANDS OF YEARS!!!!!!

I also loved how the story transcends the timeline of the whole franchise and seeing Andy through the years. Loved seeing her with the varying squads and with varying axes. Also baby Andy was so cute. It was cool seeing her so young. like holy fuck. Andromache The Scythian, Immortal Warrior (but smol). Love that.

Also I think this one is one of the few ttt stories that doesn't suffer from length problems.

tldr: goddammit greg you've done it again.

2 Zanzibar and Other Harbors

Zanzibar my beloved. I've said before, but it's downright comedic how little regard there was for Joe and Nicky's character designs in this story. The same person who does the colors for the regular comic did the colors for this one too, and you can tell, every panel of this story was Beautiful.

Ik there was A Lot of criticism of this one (lmao @ how the fandom had no idea what was to come) but I thought a lot of The Discourse was a bit dramatic. I did think Nicky came off as a little oblivious to Joe's feelings in this story, but I've said before, I honestly think that was a 'tone not translating' thing. It felt like Nicky was nagging Joe for [checks notes] saving innocent people, but Joe was so amused by Nicky's complaints I really do think it was supposed to come off as teasing.

Plus I know the 'Joe running off into danger and Nicky reluctantly following' dynamic wasn't popular (I'm a pretty meh on it meself) but I did love how Joe's impulsiveness (if you want to call it that) was interpreted as heroism and not hot-hotheadedness. All of the examples Nicky and Joe talked about included Joe explicitly saving people. (and it also took A Lot for the nazi to actually provoke Joe).

I also feel like their characterization here was closest to the movie canon-- the bit where they hear the woman scream and Joe goes running in to save her while Nicky swoops in on Joe's heels to comfort her while Joe and the nazi were fighting reminds me of the train car scene. Joe had suggested First that they go find Nile because she needed to be protected, and Nicky later added that Nile probably also needed emotional support. Similar reactions.

But it was So Good, the themes of queer community and the enduring nature of queer culture are Not themes you see in media that often and it was such a delight how it was done. Also it's one of the few more modern TTT stories that has a completely valid excuse for taking place when it did. Chef's kiss.

3 Passchendaele

I love the Duality between seeing baby Andy and then seeing Mama Andy in the very next issue. This story doesn't have a ton of meat to it, but the entire concept of Andy adopting a war orphan straight off the battlefield PLUCKS MY TENDER LITTLE HEARTSTRINGS, and I think it's especially poignant for comic!Andy. I think most people wouldn't think twice about movie!Andy doing something like that but comic Andy is so hardened and almost cruel sometimes, and seeing that even for her the world hasn't beaten all of the compassion from her yet is SO!!!!!!! this woman contains MULTITUDES okay, she's violent and angry and tired and Done but she's also so kind and compassionate and THE STRENGTH OF HER!!!!! Also the idea of her and Yitzhak co-raising a kid together is so damn cute. It was #mysterious pre-Yitzhak-story but now it's cute. holy fuck. It's cute.

& the headbonk panel of her and Zeus lives in my heart. anyways.

4 Many Happy Returns

I Know people weren't thrilled about Booker being in this one, but I've developed a pet-peeve about that: this story was *not* booker-centric. Booker only exists in this story to the extent required to explain the importance of the gesture Nile makes towards him. If there was a story about Booker making some grand gesture of kindness to Nile no one would be saying it was Nile-centric. bc it wouldn't be! Booker exists in this story to explore Nile's kindness, its not about him. I saw that a couple times and it bothered me. anyways.

AAAAAAAAAA I loved this one, the art was beautiful, I loved how Andy Nile and Booker were drawn (like their comic selves but.. more looking like actual people). I loved Andy and Nile's Bants, how Andy wanted to jump right in and Do Violence but Nile was basically telling her to hold her horses.

I feel like I'm just repeating the post I made on this story a few days ago, but I LOVED how Nile's plan revolves not around violence or Cool Mercenary Skills but on Nile's own life skills (as she canonly did a lot of minimum wage job-hopping before the marines in comics canon). Her plan used her skills, not the skills of an immortal warrior, and HER SKILLS were in fact more useful for the situation! lov to see Nile's resourcefulness and planning skills.

AND HOW NILE WAS PROBABLY WATCHING BOOKER??? it's so Much bc 1.) nile knew booker A SINGLE DAY and yet he made such an impression on her emotionally that she had to keep an eye on him and 2.) she said in the movie she wanted Booker to get off free with an apology. Yes she's a member of the team but that doesn't mean she's necessarily going to follow orders like a good little soldier. I also love how she convinced Andy to go along with it. her HEART, her KINDNESS, her THOUGHTFULNESS, UGH.

5 The Bear

Honestly I have like no negative things to say about this one other than a.) character design issues which is less about the story itself and is more of a 'tog comic in general' criticism and b.) too short, but it was supposed to be a tease, so.

But I loved Yitzhak, I wasn't expecting to really like him at all but like I said in my other post, he tickled me. I love characters who are Kind™, especially if they have little reason to be so given their backgrounds. Chef's kiss. Lov him.

6 Bonsai Shokunin

I know this one was a little controversial bc of the outsider POV but whenever I see people upset about that they never point out that the Outsider Guy (the samurai) existed as a reflection on Noriko. His ideas are explained in the text to develop hers. The whole story follows how she gave mercy to a scared young man and in response he murdered Noriko, repeatedly! Who gave him the right to inflict such pain and suffering on the world? In his opinion, the lack of response from the gods was his permission. And for Noriko-- over and over again she dies and suffers because she gave mercy, which lines up with her ideas in FM about how it's their fate to rule mortals and if they don't align with that plan/fate/whatever then they suffer. It shows some background to those ideas and how they developed in her mind outside of Ocean Madness™. Additionally, his idea of 'the Gods have done nothing to strike me down so it's fine if I do these things' kind of explains how Noriko may justify her own morally corrupt actions-- she's died so many times and it's never stuck. Maybe if she did die any of those times, or while she was in the water, maybe that would've been a sign she was doing something right, or at least doing something normal. But she hasn't died. Fate isn't done with Noriko yet. And maybe there's a reason for that. In her mind, it's just not a very pleasant reason, is all.

There were things I was kind of meh about tho. I did kind of wish we saw something of Noriko and the team, or smth explaining the way she was before her dip in the pool-- personality, likes dislikes, etc. but it wasn't bad or anything. It was super vague tho, I had to read it a few times before I got what it was going for. Liked the art. Liked the bonsai metaphor. And of course I Respect the decision to use the 1300s (1200s? I don't remember off the top of my head) rather than using the last 200 years.

7 Strong Medicine

Honestly looking back, this one made me kind of sad because both this one and Bonsai Shokunin explored character's ideas on Fate and The Divine and how that intersects with immortality and I totally thought that theme would be continued, especially with Love Letters. But Then It Wasn't™.

Admittedly.... I had to re-read this one to remember most of it. I liked Booker's ideas on God, 'The conductor of the symphony just may not be very good at his trade' but the plot itself was kind of forgettable. Some fuckin cowboys try to kill a doctor (their second) because he couldn't save their sickly brother. Book tries to stop them, gets killed, and then comes back and kills them all before they get the doctor. Alright. I liked the artstyle because the characters were ugly in a similar way that leandro's are, but way more bearable.

I love the Irony of Booker concluding that there is no such thing as fate or destiny and nothing has meaning, AS HE UNKNOWINGLY SAVES MERRICK'S GRANDFATHER FROM BEING KILLED. Booker getting fucked over by life/god/destiny yet again. It also kind of explains about where the fuck hell Merrick's interest in immortal mercenaries even came from.

I originally had this one a lot higher and then I thought about it and moved it down like two spots.

8 Never Gets Old

I liked seeing Booker interact with his kid. And we got a name for the kid! Philippe was a little bitch though, he was a little obnoxious. I liked how Booker was so thrilled to experience a restaurant with his kid (and since we know he was there before, it can be assumed he went with all of his kids and yet he was so charmed each time). It fits with his line to Nicky in the moon landing story about how you don't appreciate beautiful things 'unless you have someone to share them with'. It was charming to see Booker interact with his kid, and to see him so happy. Also lmao @ Booker's big fat Ye Olde Crush on Andy.

However at the same time it was like.. of all the things to write about,,, I guess? Booker's Night Out...... alright. Especially since Book had so many stories.

I don't know, it was alright. The old man killing him really came out of nowhere, (but the 'Salut, asshole!' panel was funny tho).

9 How To Make a Ghost Town

I've hit a point where talking about these stories has gotten less fun. I liked this one but I felt like Achilles getting lynched was not really necessary for a story that was already tragic (a story that already involved Achilles doing a lot of suffering at the hand of bigots). When we first got the blurb for this story I thought it would be about Andy returning to the squad and making friends with Booker after losing Achilles and them butting heads on the idea of family and when to cut off ties. So a little bit of my underwhelmedness about this one might be just my expectations being different.

Honestly I was pretty interested in Andy and Achilles' relationship and I would've liked to see more of them-- like, what was their dynamic like? What did they love about each other?

But anyways Andy leaving and Achilles getting killed anyways feels so pointlessly tragic (which I suppose is the point..... I don't like tragedies) she left to save him and yet people killed him anyway. Meh.

I did love the bits about Andy wanting to have a domestic life (Andy and her multitudes again) and the little detail about how she buried her axe near the road but he buried his guns under his bed-- he was an escaped slave, he never had the luxury of assuredness like Andy did. It was a sad story.

10 Lacus Solitudinis

'You put this one above love letters crim??? how could you???' easy, lmao.

There was stuff in this one I liked. But to talk about stuff I didn't like: (I'll keep it brief, I know ragging on this story has been done time and time again)

UH, setting aside the 6 year cold shoulder between Joe and Nicky, I thought their chosen method of conflict resolution was... bad at best. Nicky's inability to talk about his feelings was also annoying, especially since the entire point of this story is a fight Joe and Nicky had, and yet we don't get both sides to the story, which is...... important? That fact is especially annoying bc in the absence of Nicky explaining his side of the story, it's absolutely a possible (and admittedly probably unintentional) interpretation of the text that we do get that Joe routinely resolves conflict between him and Nicky by simply cutting Nicky out of his life entirely until Nicky just. caves? Even if it takes years?

WHICH i could get into that interpretation and how fucked up i find it. but im not going to. out of restraint.

I don't know, I think there are a lot of interesting ways to go about this conflict but 'Nicky wants to kill a guy and Joe refuses to acknowledge his existence until he stops because he thinks Nicky is too much of a Good Boy to get his hands dirty like that' ('I wont watch as the world turns his (...) compassion into something ugly'. ) wasn't.. how I would've done it. (I mean you know Joe doesn't give a shit about what Nicky is doing in a moral way, because Joe doesn't even care or mention that Booker is killing those cops too. Joe only cares because he doesn't like the idea of Nicky changing in a way he finds undesirable.)

admittedly I've said before, I do like the emphasis Joe's reaction puts on Nicky's kindness. Joe has a complete inability to cope with Nicky simply Not Being Kind. It speaks to the steadiness of Nicky's compassion all those years. but still that fact doesn't make it the conflict feel worth it

hm. I said I would be brief and I wasn't.

oh well. basically I thought there was interesting conflict potential there but it wasn't done the way I would've liked, and the way it was done leaves a lot of disturbing (and again probably unintended) interpretations to lie.

What I did like? Andy and Joe having that pessimist/optimist dynamic. Joe nerding out about science. Andy not being impressed by The Achievements Of Man. I loved Booker needling at Nicky about his outdated slang and also trying to give him Older Brother advice practically in the same breath. I loved Booker giving The Worst relationship advice ever and Nicky being like 'I Will Not Do That, Ever, Thanks.' the family vibes were so good. The Joenicky vibes left a lot to be desired tho.

11 Love Letters

I talked about my problems with Nicky in this story (and Lacus Solitudinis). I don't know, the story isn't bad but I do hold a little bit of a grudge towards it because its very existence begs the existence of a solo Joe story and we didn't get one. If we never got this story, then we could happily count Lacus Solitudinis and Zanzibar as The Joenicky Stories™ and move on with our lives. sigh.

I remember when we first got the blurb for this story I was really curious about why Nicky specifically + the setting, and the answer kind of feels like 'the author had an idea for a story like this and saw ttt as a good enough place to utilize that idea'. Plus I was really underwhelmed by the Romantic Sentiment in the letter. If you look at it line-by-line, the majority of the letter is actually Nicky talking about how lonely and disturbed he is, rather than actual,, yknow,,, Romantic Sentiment. I mean, compare the van speech and this letter and this letter is just kind of meh in comparison. I liked nicky calling joe wise! and I liked the brief sun/moon metaphor! and otherwise it was eh. It didn't even have cute squad banter, which is why Lacus Solitudinis is above this one.

12 An Old Soul

Nun orgy. Nun orgy?????? Nun orgy.......

The whole story felt like a setup to have a nun orgy. Why did Booker have abs? Why did they do that to Andy's nose? ?????? the art was good at least.

nun orgy.

[ritsushinbro]

My Critique of Rebuild of Evangelion's Characterization: I originally wrote this post on the Evageeks forum and decided to post it here. It discusses the relationship between Misato, WILLE and the pilots and whether it is realistic and in-character. Warning this post contains spoilers and is very long. Also has references to self-harm and suicide.

With each revelation that comes out regarding the measures WILLE take against Shinji and their own pilots, it becomes more and more unrealistic for me to the point where it's almost comical. Let's go through some of them here:

They wear the explosive DSS chokers 24/7 which will kill the pilots should they risk awakening an Eva.

They are kept in a single room rigged with explosives.

In Shinji's case, he is (intended to be) put in 24/7 solitary confinement with explosives fitted as well.

Shinji is escorted around the wunder whilst restrained on a stretcher. (NOTE: The only time he isn't, is when Sakura takes him to Ritsuko).

It is confirmed in another thread that Misato gave clear permission to the crew for them to shoot Shinji on sight if they suspect he is attempting to get into an Eva. 

Now let me attempt to deconstruct these measures one-by-one:

It is understandable that Asuka and Mari wear DSS chokers because after all they are pilots and there is a risk of awakening. However in Shinji's case, he is forbidden from piloting and so there is no risk of awakening (remember Ritsuko did not think NERV would come after him, so they had no reason to think he would escape). So why place the DSS choker on him? Well we have already established it is simply because they have a resentment against him; there is no special, pragmatic reason. Is this realistic? Well I would say no for reasons I will explain later but I can certainly understand why others may say it is.

I don't think I will understand why they would keep their two main "soldiers" if you will, in an explosively rigged room. I believe others have  stated that from a tactical point, it's an extremely dumb move on WILLE's part. After all, if Asuka and Mari didn't have plot armor, what's to stop Gendo from tricking WILLE into killing their own pilots with these explosives? How would WILLE stop Gendo then? Will they use Shinji? No, for reasons I will state later. And another thing, we know that their rooms were already fitted with explosives so why on Earth would they add extra after the events of Q (when they stopped 4th impact). What do they hope to achieve with more bombs? Make the pilots more "deader" than they already are? In my opinion, this doesn't even come across as paranoid but just plain childish. Is this measure realistic from a story standpoint? No not in my eyes.

We know they intended to put Shinji in a solitary cell as this is what they do in Shin. If it was solitary confinement on it's own, then I believe it would be a realistic measure that would happen in real life. However I believe the writers did not factor in the effects of solitary confinement (especially one that is rigged to explode) on fully grown men; never mind a 14 year old who's just come out of a 14 year coma. Many people think solitary confinement is a walk in the park so I made another post a while ago highlighting why that's not the case:

"I remember when before Shin came out people here theorized that if Shinji stayed on the Wunder, they would eventually softened to him and let him help in ways that wouldn't have involved piloting. However with these revelations it looks like they intended to keep him in an isolated room far from everyone else that is (presumably) rigged with explosives as well as keeping the choker on his neck. Not even allowed to freely leave his cell without WILLE's permission (it is unlikely they would let him out judging from these measures). 

Even though Asuka and Mari were treated like this as well, at least they had each other and were able to leave as they had responsibilities in piloting. But Shinji was forbidden from piloting and was to be kept by himself except maybe being checked up on by Sakura now and again. So judging from these leaks (we will have to wait to properly see the full context) WILLE intended to lock Shinji in solitary confinement.

I have copied and pasted some of the effects of Solitary Confinement from Wikipedia below:

“Psychiatric: Research indicates that the psychological effects of solitary confinement may encompass "anxiety, depression, anger, cognitive disturbances, perceptual distortions, obsessive thoughts, paranoia, and psychosis." The lack of human contact, and the sensory deprivation that often go with solitary confinement, can have a severe negative impact on a prisoner's mental state that may lead to certain mental illnesses such as depression, permanent or semi-permanent changes to brain physiology, an existential crisis, and death.

Self-harm: According to a March 2014 article in American Journal of Public Health, "Inmates in jails and prisons attempt to harm themselves in many ways, resulting in outcomes ranging from trivial to fatal." Self harm was seven times higher among the inmates where seven percent of the jail population was confined in isolation. Fifty-three percent of all acts of self harm took place in jail. "Self-harm" included, but was not limited to, cutting, banging heads, self-amputations of fingers or testicles. These inmates were in bare cells, and were prone to jumping off their beds head first into the floor or even biting through their veins in their wrists. A main issue within the prison system and solitary confinement is the high number of inmates who turn to self-harm. Many of the inmates look to self-harm as a way to "avoid the rigors of solitary confinement."

Physical: Solitary confinement has been reported to cause hypertension, headaches and migraines, profuse sweating, dizziness, and heart palpitations. Many inmates also experience extreme weight loss due to digestion complications and abdominal pain. Many of these symptoms are due to the intense anxiety and sensory deprivation. Inmates can also experience neck and back pain and muscle stiffness due to long periods of little to no physical activity. These symptoms often worsen with repeated visits to solitary confinement.

Social: The effects of isolation unfortunately do not stop once the inmate has been released. After release from segregated housing, psychological effects have the ability to sabotage a prisoner's potential to successfully return to the community and adjust back to ‘normal’ life. The inmates are often startled easily, and avoid crowds and public places. They seek out confined small spaces because the public areas overwhelm their sensory stimulation.”

And this is just for solitary confinement. There are so many other things going on with and happening (or could happen) to Shinji such as the things below:

Shinji being only 14 years old.

Shinji being abandoned and neglected by his father.

Shinji being coerced/emotionally blackmailed to pilot Unit 1.

Shinji seeing girls he cared for "die".

Shinji being in a coma for 14 years.

Shinji being told he has a bomb on his neck.

Being told it is because he is being punished.

Being told he cannot pilot the eva anymore (he is effectively "useless" now).

Have his former co-pilot and friend try and punch him after he thought she was dead.

[Potentially] being told he started NTI and devastated the world.

[Potentially] being told that the girl he tried to save is "gone" and that she was a clone of his mother.

Being imprisoned in a cell (presumably) surrounded by explosives and not being able to freely leave.

Be completely isolated from everyone except when being checked up by a girl who's father he got killed. (NOTE: Mari might want to see him so Shinji at least has her, maybe). 

Have his mother figure (the woman who made him pilot the eva the most) threaten to detonate the choker around his neck and blow his head off when he tries to leave.

With the above list, is it any wonder his head is so messed up? I understand the purpose of these films is all about growing up and taking responsibility but expecting Shinji to willingly allow himself to be subjected to the treatment WILLE had in store for him is pure, unadulterated masochism. Much of what was is written here can safely be considered cruel, inhumane and arguably, torture. 

There is a massive difference between taking responsibility for one's mistakes and just letting the whole world torture you because you did something bad. My main fear and problem with Q and Thrice is that their main theme, which is accepting responsibility, is equated with accepting unreasonably cruel treatment. And I just think that is an EXTREMELY unhealthy message to send to people especially if they are depressed or live in abusive relationships."

When you take all these into account, does it place into perspective how messed up Shinji would have been had he stayed on the wunder? This is assuming that they thought they would never have a need for him, but as we find out in Shin, they needed Shinji in the end to defeat Gendo. If Shinji never left with Mark 09 and Misato successfully kept him "protective" custody, then one of three things would have happened when WILLE actually needed him to save everyone:

A: He would not have been in the mental state to pilot Unit 1 and Gendo would have completely wrecked him due to shit synch ratios. 

B: He would have told Misato and co. to fuck off and die. We've seen this nihilism before from Shinji (after the 5th angel). His incarceration alongside the humiliation and guilt from wearing the choker will have ratcheted up by a million.

C: He wouldn't have piloted because he would have killed himself. There's only so much a 14 year old can take and when subjected to a fate that causes even hardened criminals to resort to self-harm, genital mutilation and suicide, then what chance does Shinji have? 

Now back to my original point, do I think this measure is realistic? I would like to say yes if it was the solitary on it's own, however when combined with the other things, then I think the chances of Shinji commiting suicide is extremely high to the point where it's not believable for him to continue as an anime protagonist. You have to make sure the protagonist goes through difficulty in order to experience growth and change, however if you make it too harsh (to the point of committing suicide) then it seems less believable that they live to continue the story. On a separate note, many people think that Shinji was immature for leaving with Mark 09 the first chance he got and that this is proof that he is, in Asuka's words, a "brat". But let's be realistic, if this story is about Shinji's growth and maturation, then how exactly would WILLE's treatment of him be conducive to that? The truth is WILLE's sheer hostility towards him would have completely stunted any emotional growth and maturation in Shinji and it would have destroyed the point of the film. Also no-one can argue that WILLE would have eventually "come round" or "softened-up" towards Shinji because even after 14 years they still don't trust their own pilots. So yeah, Shinji most likely would have been stuck in solitary with a bomb around his neck until he either killed himself or the war ended (but even this doesn't guarantee his freedom).

Regarding the stretcher business. I don't understand why you have to restrain Shinji on a stretcher when the kid has already surrendered himself and has come voluntarily. Maybe WILLE are just full of bondage fetishists; it would certainly explain the chokers as well. 

If the DSS chokers and the explosive rooms weren't enough, Misato actually gave orders to the crew to shoot Shinji if they thought he was trying to pilot again. At this point, I just think this is just overkill. I mean the kid has a bomb on his neck that prevents him from awakening an Eva, you intended to keep him locked up even though he can't really leave the wunder except with outside help and now you intend to shoot him if you think he'll get into an Eva. The problem with this, is that piloting an Eva requires all the bridge-bunnies to sortie the damn thing. Shinji cannot enter Unit 1 by himself, especially since the thing is being used as an engine so why do they assume that Shinji is capable of being Sam Fisher and sneaking into Unit 1? We see that Sakura and Midori are actually willing to shoot Shinji in 3.0+1.0 and do so when he merely suggests that he pilot Unit 1. But seriously what harm would Shinji have done in Unit 1 considering the fact that Gendo was already going to start another impact anyway? Why actively try and kill (or injure in Sakura's case) the only guy that can save your ass? One cannot argue that they were just being "desperate or panicking" because in Midori's case, she actually takes the time to confirm her orders from Misato. This shows that at least, she was still of lucid mind. This particular altercation just beggars belief in my mind and the fact that Misato actually gave those orders on top of all the other measures is absolutely extraordinary. So as you can imagine, I do not think this was realistically executed.

However, I can already hear some detractors say: "So what? Misato hesitated to detonate the DSS choker and also took a bullet for Shinji. She redeemed herself from putting the DSS choker on him and the kill-order for if they thought he would try and get into an Eva." 

And to those people I say….not really. There is an idiom attributed to Benjamin Franklin and it goes like this: "An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure." How does this apply to Misato and Shinji's relationship? Well Misato wouldn't have had to hesitate to pull the trigger if she didn't put it on him in the first place. Misato wouldn't have had to take a bullet for Shinji, if she didn't give permission for the crew to shoot him in the first place. Let's take this following dialogue for example:

916-929:

Kitakami: "It's a good thing we got Major Shikinami back. But why'd we have to take that disease along with her?"

Aoba: "Just leave it alone. Better than Nerv still being able to use him."

Tama: "If he tries to get into an Evangelion, all hands have permission to shoot on sight. There's nothing to worry about this time."

Kitakami: "Come on, that's all for show. The last time he broke out of here, the Captain couldn't put him down. I've got zero trust about this time either."

Nagara: "He was a kid. I can understand why she'd hesitate."

Kitakami: "That 'kid' caused Near Third Impact and murdered my entire family!"

Hyuga: "Near Third was a consequence of what he did, not his goal. The Captain's doing her best to atone for that too."

Takao: "That's right. She's who Kaji entrusted with Wille, and it's our job to trust the captain."

We learn a few things from this dialogue. Firstly, the older WILLE members are much more understanding to Shinji and Misato's situation: Aoba and Hyuga understand that it's better to keep an eye on Shinji and that he never meant to start NTI, Takao is one who always trusts Misato's judgement and Sumire understands that Misato would have found it difficult to kill a child, especially one that Misato was close with. 

Secondly, it appears that the younger WILLE members (Midori, Sakura and Tama) are the ones that are fearful/hateful towards Shinji (NOTE: Tama is a strange case, he strikes me as the sort of kid that just follows what everyone else is feeling. He might not feel anything towards Shinji beyond what you'd expect). 

Finally it appears that most of WILLE crew members are actually reasonable people and are not the extremely desperate and paranoid individuals some people on the forum believe. Remember this is AFTER Shinji started the 4th impact in Q. The fact that some of the WILLE crew members speak of Shinji in this way, show they are capable of understanding. Most actually trust Misato and respect her judgement except for Midori, who questions Misato's capabilities in following through on her threats. 

Which brings me to my next point. Misato has had no hesitation in pulling rank in the past. In 2.0, she even has an altercation with Ritsuko, her best friend, right before they fight the 8th angel. Misato is a woman that will tell even her best friend to STFU, when it comes to doing what she wants. Having said that, (timeskip shenanigans aside) there's no reason why she couldn't have done the same with the younger WILLE crew members. She could have nipped all of it in the bud by telling Sakura, Midori and the rest of them that Shinji was groomed to cause NTI and it was not his fault.

Instead, despite being the captain that everyone loves and fears, she kowtowed to the crew's paranoia and had the pilots fitted with explosive chokers, put in explosively rigged solitary confinement and gave the order to kill Shinji if they feared the worst. This is the sort of thing that drives fully grown men to suicide, never mind 14 year olds that have just come out of a coma. Imagine if Shinji did commit suicide in his cell. Who would Misato and WILLE have turned to in order to defeat Gendo in the end? What if Gendo tricked WILLE into killing their own pilots with the explosives? They would be properly screwed then. If Misato actually cared, as we are led to believe from her hesitation to kill Shinji, then she would have told the rest of the WILLE crew to fuck off, instead of alienating and putting Shinji and the pilots in that much risk. Are we really expected to believe that Misato placed such extreme countermeasures on Shinji just to appease Midori and Sakura? Not likely. This is why I believe that Misato would not have put the DSS choker on Shinji in the first place, and her doing so in Q was extremely unrealistic and out of character, even with anything that happened during the timeskip.

Some of you will say: "Who cares about realism? It's a show about aliens and growing up." While this is true, Anno has proven that he is able to pull the themes off much better when you look at the NGE series. Disregarding the self-contained narrative, it is obvious that the purpose of Q was to bring Shinji to the same point he was at after episode 24 of the series. If we look at how NGE/EOE handled Shinji's depression, we see that it is quite realistic:

The neglect and coercion by the adults in his life, almost dying to angels multiple times, the sexual tension with Asuka, almost killing Touji, finding out Rei is a clone of his mother, Misato putting the moves on him and having to kill Kaworu all culminate towards Shinji's mental state during EOE. Shinji is passively suicidal but it's due to the *situation* and his own introverted tendencies instead of people actively trying to hurt and isolate him. He finds the will to live again due to his mothers words despite knowing just how difficult living might be. If you remove all the Evas and the Angels from the story, the themes that are touched upon (isolation, neglect, misunderstanding) still apply and the audience can still resonate with them. 

The rebuilds however go about it completely differently. They bring Shinji to that same suicidal state by having all the characters/plot actively harm Shinji's mental health by:

Putting him in a coma for 14 years so he is completely clueless. Imagine how groggy you are when you wake up in the morning and then multiply that by a million. 

Have Misato psychologically castrate Shinji by telling him he won't do anything with a look of disdain on her face.

Have Ritsuko make Shinji feel dread by telling him he has a bomb on his neck and it's because he is being "punished".

Not tell him why he is being punished when he asks Misato.

Have Asuka try to punch Shinji after he thought she was dead.

Tell Shinji the girl he saved is "gone”.

Have his "mother figure" threaten to blow his head off for wanting to leave with the girl you just told him is gone.

Have Asuka and Mari attack Shinji in Lilith's chamber even though Shinji was seemingly willing to listen to them had Asuka not kept attacking. (Watch that scene again and you'll see when Asuka learns what Shinji is trying to do, she stops attacking but instead of explaining that he's being manipulated, she just calls him a brat instead).

Even Mari was willing to potentially kill or cripple Shinji with the Anti-AT rounds. (We don't know what the AA rounds are truly capable of because the only time they are used on screen, they don't work. The round cartridges state that they are armor and AT field piercing and have explicit restrictions on their use. The fact that Mari requires Asuka's explicit authorization to use them imply that they are most likely lethal and would have killed/crippled Shinji had he been in a normal Eva). 

Have Shinji's friend's head explode with the device Shinji's "mother figure" actually meant for him. Imagine seeing someone's head explode and then remember that your "mother figure" actually meant that to be for you. That would certainly mess anyone up.

Have Asuka then kick and manhandle him when he is catatonic.

Have Asuka force feed him to the point where he pukes whilst he is still grieving the death of his friend. 

Have Shinji only be escorted whilst tied to a stretcher despite him coming voluntarily.

Have Misato place Shinji in 24/7 solitary confinement in a cell rigged with explosives.

Have Misato tell the WILLE crew to shoot Shinji on sight if they think he's getting into an EVA.

Have people tell Shinji that he's being a brat the entire time for reacting badly to all this.

By having Misato, Asuka, WILLE reject and "punish" Shinji so harshly so it kicks off his isolation and desperation, it makes Shinji's "recovery" seem less believable. Anno himself didn't even know how to make Shinji recover psychologically in 3.0+1.0 and he actually had to ask the voice actors on how to make that happen. The story made the WILLE crew go full scorched-earth and in doing so made Shinji's "growth" and his reconciliation with Misato seem impossible. 

I have already stated that I believe Q represents "Condemnation" and Shin represents "Compassion" and I think both films pull that off brilliantly. But that doesn't mean I think the characters acted in a realistic manner. I do not believe that Misato would have placed such harsh sanctions on Shinji in the first place for the reasons I have stated above. And if she did, I do not believe that Shinji would have easily forgiven Misato (even IF she took a bullet for him) as we see he does in the film. I do not believe that WILLE were merely "scared and desperate" because as the dialogue above shows, they are surprisingly understanding (but still disapproving) of Shinji's situation despite him literally starting another impact. I do not believe that Misato would have bent over to Sakura and Midori's resentment and taken measures against Shinji, just to ease their minds. 

In summary, my main problem with the post-timeskip rebuilds is that I feel they gaslight the audience in thinking that Shinji was just being a "brat" the entire time by having Asuka and Mari say: "You have grown a little/You smell like an adult now." However, the truth is Shinji's been through so much mental suffering perpetrated by the people he cares about, that it's a miracle he's not killed himself. It would certainly break most of us on this forum. The movies seek to show Shinji "finally" taking responsibility when the truth is, the plot went so above and beyond putting him down in such an extreme manner in the first place.

[marchioness-caprina]

You Like Me Not?

{ Final Part }

Pairings : Takami Keigo ( Hawks) x Reader

Writing Style : 3rd Person

Warning : Cussing, Stalker Tendencies, Toxic Tendencies.

Word Count : 2947

Read; { Part 1 } , { Part 2 }

3rd Person's POV

A month has Passed. Yes a whole Month has passed and y/n was surprisingly doing well; in the surface at least.

Inside. Not so well but at least she's coping up a lot better than a few weeks ago where she'd often cry herself to sleep, even in the showers. The lingering pain was still haunting her like there's no tomorrow but now she's getting used to it.

After all, First love is usually the greatest and the most painful experience.

Instead of moping around and sulking, she began investing her time and effort into being a Hero. And the effort paid off greatly; her performance was improving and she's proud to say that she's on par with the top three of the class which mainly consists of Izuku, Todoroki and Bakugou.

She was finally getting the attention that she deserved, plus it takes her mind off of Keigo and his jerkass.

However, at the end of the day she felt so empty and devoid of something---someone she longs for. And she will never accept that it was Keigo she was looking for.

But she needs to stay strong and let go of those people who can't even appreciate the little things she does; she won't let them bring her down. No, not when she's finally seeing something big for her up ahead.

Unfortunate as the saying goes ; All good things will come to an end. And for y/n, that is today.

Their class was split in groups for an Activity. Y/n along with Kirishima and Mina and Izuku were paired up to patrol the busy part of the city where crimes are mostly committed.

And guess who their Hero guide is? Yup one of them is Hawks and the other one is Enchanting.

Y/n who had a smile on her face seemed calm on first approach but inside she was cussing her heart out for the terrible luck she's got.

It had to be two of her worst nightmare. How charming.

" You Kids doing fine back there? " Keigo asked, his eyes never leading the road and beside him was a bored looking enchantress.

The two were their Hero guides for today and everyone was ecstatic. Except for y/n.

" Yeah we're good! " Kirishima answered for everyone and y/n was thankful that she didn't have to exchange a few unnecessary words with Hawks.

Her attention was now caught by the Broccoli boy right next to her who was vigorously writing notes down on his notebook.

" Oh my gosh it's the Pro Hero Hawks " Izuku was becoming a mumbling mess as He continued to scribble. His pace was a beyond anyone y/n had ever seen and she was very much intrigued by Izuku's unwavering determination.

" You know Midoriya-san, you're actually really handsome up close" Y/n muttered and izuku froze on the spot; heat rising up his cheeks as he tensed. Slowly he turned to see the h/c haired girl who was smiling at him tenderly.

" I-I-I... Umm... T-Thank you Y/n-san... A-and... You're really handsome too.... W-wait I mean n-not handsome because you aren't a g-guy w-what I meant to say was... P-pretty.... You're really pretty" Izuku gushed out and as much as y/n tried to contain her laughter she couldn't keep a straight face and began laughing at Izuku's Adorable antics.

Izuku was going red due to his rising embarrassment as he began to stutter out another list of explanation why he accidentally said it.

But their little conversation didn't go unnoticed by Keigo and Enchanting.

" Wow, she moves Fast. Better try Harder Birdy. As far as I see it; she's sick of you and look she's a boy magnet. You're gonna lose if you keep this up " Enchantress casually gave her comment and Hawks gave her a narrowed look.

" Shut up miss ' I'm a hundred years old' you better hope she'll be mine by the end of the day, I've pulled a lot of strings to get her here and it ain't easy " Hawks kept a calm expression; his lips tugging up into a smirk as he continued " This was your fault to begin with. If I can't win her over today.... Well you're gonna get wrinkles starting tomorrow. I'm not a very forgiving fellow"

" We'll see Hawks... We'll see "

" Oh, we Will "

" Hey! You two lovebirds better stop flirting and Tell Kirishima here that Cats are better than Dogs! " Mina exclaimed and with how loud her voice was; she caught everyone's attention within her first attempt.

" I told you Mina, Dogs are Manly. And they earned the title of Man's Best friend. They're dedicated and Loyal but I wanna know who you guys will vote for" Kirishima replied as he glanced back at the still very flustered Izuku and A Smiling y/n.

" W-well.... I think I prefer Dogs than Cats... Sorry Mina " Izuku gave Mina an apologetic smile as Mina pouted before turning to y/n.

" Come on y/n you gotta be on my side on this one " Mina pleaded and Kirishima pulled her away.

" That's cheating Mina, don't pull the pity card on Y/n. That's so not Manly... But.. Well which do you prefer y/n? "

" Hmm... Well... I----"

" I vote for Birds. I heard Birds are very reliable companions miss y/n. I assume that you feel the same way? " Enchantress piped in and y/n gave her a raised brow but she managed to catch on to what enchantress was saying.

" Oh? Well I understand the reason why you Like Birds Enchantress; I do too... Well I used to anyways but to answer your question I prefer Dogs... Sorry Mina. I like how a Dog will be loyal to you till the very end"

" Hmm? So you're saying Birds aren't Loyal? " Enchantress chimed and y/n's chuckle made Kirishima, Mina and Izuku shudder.

Her laugh was cold and forced; her eyes landed on Enchantress and a teasing smirk was now displayed on her face.

" Well Enchantress, Upon Personal experiences... Then my Answer is No. Birds aren't Loyal at All" Everyone shivered at her response simply because y/n had took the risk of jumping straight onto a landmine. Because Hawks had a bird based Quirk.

The temperature dropped to negative and even enchantress seemed to be affected by the sudden change of the atmosphere.

" Really Now? You wound me Baby Bird " Keigo's smile was passive aggressive and y/n didn't hesitate to return it.

" Don't call me That Hawks. And stop acting like you know me"

" I'm very Hurt by your words... Especially about your opinion on Birds. I for one am very Loyal "

" Nah, I Love dogs but I also like Bunnies... Take izuku for example. He's cute, shy and smart like a Bunny. Not Cunning, Manipulative and Sly Like a... Hawk" Y/n countered as she placed her Hand on top of Izuku's Head petting him gently.

Her action made a growl rip itself from Keigo's Throat and everyone froze at his aggressive reaction.

" Sure, I may be Cunning, Manipulative and Sly... But you forgot one thing Baby Bird "

" And what is it Hawks? "

" Hawks are Birds of Prey... And They are Very Possessive " Keigo answered, his Fetagers began to Bristow and sharpen; eyes trained on y/n's figure as he slightly lowered his stance.

" Huh? Why would I need to know tha------ahhhhh! " A scream was heard as y/n disappeared from her place as well as Hawks.

Unfortunately she was brisked away by the said Hero at A speed far top fast for the human eyes to follow.

" What the!? " Kirishima , Izuku and Mina who were knocked down on the ground after the Aerial impact of the winged hero were stunned as they frantically looked around for their Female Classmate who had vanished into thin air.

" Let them Be kids " Enchantress muttered as she gestured for the teens to follow her.

" B-but--!".

" Let. Them. Be..... Seriously I don't want to have any wrinkles because of that damn Cocky Hawks .... So let them be or else "

________________

" Hawks! Put me Down! " Y/n demanded, she was brisked away and slung onto his shoulders like a bag of potatoes and now Hawks was flying away and note that they are far from the ground.

" As you wish"

Y/n could practically feel the smirk in his voice and her heart dropped along with her body as she screamed for bloody murder because Hawks was being a Jerk and dropped her in Mid-air.

" Keiiiiigooooo! " Her scream was more of a threat and after 15 seconds of falling in Mid-air she was once again brisked away by the winged Hero who was smirking at her.

" God... I missed it so much when you used to call me by my name and not ' Hawks ' or ' Takami' " Keigo chuckled as he faced the girl who was holding onto him for dear life.

" Ah... Shit I almost died" Y/n hissed as she began shifting in her position, her legs were tightly wrapped around Keigo's Torso, her arms had snaked themselves around his neck and don't even get him started on how hard she was pushing her body against his.

" Easy baby Bird. Don't. Be too feisty with me... I might lose control " Keigo whispered bit he was met with a scowl.

" What is wrong with you? Can't you just leave me alone? If you think this is funny well it's not. I don't want to see or even hear you" Y/n spat out as her heart began pounding in her ribcage from both the adrenaline and embarrassment .

Hawks didn't answer and just gave her an intimidating glare that almost had her shrinking and burying her face on his chest.... Almost.

" Sure you don't want to see me... But really? Leeching yourself on every single boy who comes near you? You're driving me crazy Little Bird. I almost became a serial murderer because of you... Picture this... Pro hero Hawks; the first Hero to Murder a student because of Jealousy " Keigo bitterly laughed .

" Keigo... What the fuck are you saying? ---"

" I'm not done venting!, you think it's fun to mess with my head? Where the fuck were you over the past few weeks?! Seeing another man? While I stayed in my office drinking a huge load of bullshit? Driving myself crazy in that room anticipating when you'd show up again!? And now....now you have the guts to flirt with another man right in front of me " Keigo was pouring out all of his frustration right in front of her and he was far from being finished.

" For a moment there I almost considered the possibility of becoming a murderer... Just because he touched my Girl... He stole your attention away from me... I fucking waited and I resisted the urge to fucking drag you to the nearest alleyway y/n----"

" Cut to the fucking chase Keigo! "

" I Love you y/n! That's what I was trying to say Baby Bird. I Fucking Love you! " Keigo panted out and Y/n was more than speechless.

She didn't know what to feel, she didn't know how to react. After all that? And the effort she made to move on... Now... Now he's being so difficult and telling her he love her?!.

" Keigo, if you think a bullshit excuse like that is enough then you're wrong! Have you had any idea how hard and painful it was for me? How much I had to endure became I loved you? Damn well you don't and you don't have the right to slap this shit right in front of me you bastard! I cried myself to sleep and... And... You... ---" She couldn't finish her sentence when tears began to flood her eyes and was now cascading down her flushed cheeks.

She began sobbing and hitting Keigo's chest which has done absolutely zero no no damage at all.

Keigo's only response was to hold her in place and tighten his arms around her waist; letting her vent.

Of course he was awful to her. He was one hell of a fucking idiot to do this to the woman he loves.

He told her everything, it was true. He barely had any decent sleep and worked his ass off while waiting for her return. He didn't want to carry that habit of being an obsessive stalker. Of course he didn't tell her about how he had stalked her multiple times, he didn't want to scare her. But all of it was true. Including the jealousy part.

" I'm sorry Y/n....i really am--"

" Sorry ain't cutting shit you Jerk! Just when I'm moving on you stomp your way back in! "

" No y/n....don't ever move on. Stay here with me... I know this may sound toxic and shitty as fuck but hear me out... I know it hurts but bare with me... Don't move on.. Stay even if it hurts.. Don't leave me and give me every thing of who you are... No matter how painful it is "

" You selfish prick! Do you realize how greedy you sound! You fucking maniac! "

" I know! I know... But all my life I've been deprived of everything I actually wanted.. I was told to be this and not that... I never had the chance to actually have what I want so please y/n....allow me to be selfish when it comes to you... Let me be greedy and give me You. I don't care if I'm selfish because I'm only selfish when it comes to you.... So please. Beat me up, hit me, stab me... I don't care but just don't Leave me" Keigo growled; angry at his words and his selfish desires bit he couldn't help it.

Y/n who was still sobbing her heart out was listening to every word he had uttered. She fought back the idea of actually giving him a chance. She knew Keigo was sick to the bone but she's even worst knowing that this type of guy had attracted her and lured her to love him.

How... Why is she so soft when it comes to him? Is this how love really is? Because if it is... Then she doesn't give a shit. She wants him too. But she isn't going to make it any easier for him. If he wants her then he better earn her, No more miss nice y/n.

And He wanted her... He needed her and he isn't just about to let her go. He'll hunt her down even in hell.

" Keigo... You.... Ugh... I... Shit... "

" Is it working y/n...am I winning you over? "

" Only because I loved you Keigo you prick "

" Correction You still Love me...so be my girlfriend?"

" Whatever. Just so you know, I'm not saying yes to your proposal. You gotta earn me you fucking retard and it isn't going to be easy"

" I knew you were going to say something like that. And yes I'm ready to make those sacrifices for you, Just... No boys " Keigo smirked as he cradled the girl in his arms.

She still had her arms wrapped around his neck as he landed on one of the very few skyscrapers in the city.

" No can do Keigo... Your Baby Bird here is a Boy Magnet---" Upon seeing how fast Keigo's demeanor had shifted to something more gruesome she shut up immediately and nodded her head.

" You too Chicken wings... No girls for you"

" No can do, your Bird man here is a lady magnet " Keigo smirked returning her words at her.

Y/n rolled her eyes and reached her hand up to paw on his blonde hair; giving them a harsh yank but before she pulled him down, her lips meeting his in a rough and demanding kiss to avoid any form of kinky retort from Hawks.

Keigo immediately responded and took full control of dominance as his lips moved in sync with hers. Rough and passionate, but unfortunately Keigo was getting a little bit handsy; his hands made its way towards her thigh giving it a harsh squeeze but before he could do anything else she pulled away covering his mouth with her hands when he tried to catch her lips again.

" Nuh uh Keigo. We're Going slow "

" Ugh... Nice job being a Kill Joy Kid...tsk.."

" Fuck you Keigo"

" Why don't you do it yourself you Coward "

" Oh I will Keigo "

" Really? I don't mind breeding you right here if you wan---"

" Eww Keigo shut up. I was kidding. I want to be a Hero before becoming a Mom"

" Yeah, Good luck with that because I think you're gonna be a momma anytime soon because you said Yes to Me"

" I didn't say jack shit like that Keigo" Y/n snapped as she began squirming in his hold with Keigo chuckling and laughing at her poor attempt.

" Relax. I was Kidding-- "

" Thank Goodness for a moment there I actually thought you we---"

" Maybe "

" Keigo! "

End~? ♡...............

[gr0vndz3ro]

Hypnosis

Cop!Bakugou x Villain!Reader(NSFW)

Warnings: NSFW, 18+, Cursing, forced sub!bakugou, dom! reader, dub con, bondage because if you think im writing a cop au and not use hand cuffs youre dead wrong, choking, degradation, spit, oral, overstimulation, gagging, hair pulling, unprotected sex

Word count: 3973

A/N: Me and @1-800-callmekatsuki were thirsting over bakugou for hours and I HAD to write this. I ended up getting really into this so it ended up being a little longer than I expected but I hope y’all enjoy. Also this is the photo that got this whole fic started. The art is not mine.

*PSA*

A little side note I’ve gotten a few comments in regards to the current situation going on in the US and trust me I get it, but this blog is just a place for me to personally escape the things going on irl. I wasn’t writing this in correlation to anything going on and I’m sorry if people think this is bad timing but this story is free of any personal opinion and just something fun for people to read. I want my blog to be for other people what it is for me, just something to enjoy. If for any reason this story bothers you I’m really sorry🥺🥺 I’m just a horny girl who just want to write smut and I think fbi/ cop bakugou is hot 😭 If reading anything in regards to a cop (even when not negative) is something that bothers you then please feel free to keep scrolling. I don’t take any offense to people not liking this, but I did work hard on this and for those of you do read it I hope you guys enjoy it. ❤️

Arms crossed against his broad chest, Katsuki scoffed at the briefing he was just given by his chief. The criminal that the precinct had just managed to catch was believed to be tied to the League of Villains. Y/N Y/L/N, her quirk was called Sirens Song. She’s able to control men with just the sound of her voice. She had been caught trying to smuggle weapons, thought to be for the L.O.V, in a boat that she stole from two unfortunate men that happened to cross her path.

This whole thing was a waste of his time, he could be out there trying to find the actual threats. Instead he was in this meeting, listening to the description of just another wannabe villain. When the chief had finished with the case details, Katsuki got up from the chair, ready to go back to his patrol when the man spoke up again.

“We are going to be keeping her in holding for a few days to try to get as much information we can get out of her to see if she’s the connection to the League that we’ve been looking for. On the screen you will see a list of the interrogation times and who goes when, as well as who will be covering what over night watch shift. After you have checked for your name you are free to go.”

Rolling his eyes, the blond walks over to the board and sees he is set as the over night guard for tonight. He clenches his jaw, instead of being able to go home after a long day, he’s forced to work all night. Watching some criminal trying to pass as a real target. He whips his head to his boss, stomping over.

“Oi, what the hell is this supposed to be huh?! You got me working for 24 hours, ain’t that illegal or some shit?” Not being able to control his anger at the situation.

“Officer Bakugou I see that you’ve taken a look at the board. Don’t worry about the work load, you’ve been assigned to a fairly peaceful district so there shouldn’t be to much strain on you. If there any other problems you have I would recommend biting your tongue. You’re already on thin ice this week due to you run in with Officer Midoriya. Be grateful you are involved in this case in anyway. Now if that will be all.” The chief says not allowing Katsuki the time to interject, leaving afterwards to go to his office.

Left there grinding his teeth, he holds back his dying urge to curse the man out and leaves the building to start his “easy” patrol. He hated easy days, it wasn’t what he had joined for. He wanted to hunt down bad guys and make them suffer for what they did. He wanted to put away thugs and criminals, not right a ticket for an unpaid parking meter. I’m to good of a cop to be a fucking meter maid. His jaw firm as he thinks about the cases other stations were working on. The good that he could be doing if he wasn’t here, having his talent go to waste. Saving people was what he wanted to do, be the hero that saves the day. But all because of his temper, he now had the “easy” shift.

He pulled back into the station at 10 pm to start the over night watch. mostly everyone had gone home, except for the few stragglers finishing up their last amounts of paperwork for the week. He heads to the break room to grab something quick to eat when the chief walked into the room.

“There is a few things I wanted to tell you about your shift tonight and about the situation at hand. The suspect quirk is very powerful, while the room they’re in cancels quirks, the effects of hers can still be felt to some degree. They are no where near her normal strength and more of a temptation that most are able to snap out of after a few seconds. Do not under estimate her Bakugou, do you hear me? I will not be filling a missing suspect report because you are to arrogant to follow commands.” The chief explain to him, belittling him the process. If the anger he felt could be seen physically, everything in the room would have been exploded.

“Yeah, yeah I hear you loud and clear. The idiot isn’t gonna be a problem.. sir.” His attitude barely peaking out at the end of his sentence, a slight smirk on his lips. With that response, his boss leaves for the night, officially leaving Katsuki alone in the station to start his second shift of the day. 

Coffee. If there was any way that he was going to get through this night it was going to be with lots of coffee. He goes to the coffee pot and makes himself a small pot. With a mug in his hand he starts his walk over to the holding cells. He turned the corner and sees you sitting there in the cell. His eye widen subtly, Damn she’s hot. Maybe he wouldn’t need coffee after all. He took his seat near your cell so keep an eye on you. There wasn’t much he could really do. There was no way for you to get out. Basically he was just there to make sure you didn’t hurt yourself until the detectives come back to investigate you more. As he sat there he got a good look at you. Your clothes were dirty a torn from you chase from the cops, rips on you pants exposing parts of your thighs, and the rip on you shirt showed just enough of your abdomen to leave him dirty thoughts. Thoughts of how soft your skin is, how it would feel under his calloused fingers. How you would react to his touch, goosebumps covering your skin. He looks up to your face. Small scratches liter it but that does nothing to hide how beautiful you are. The way your eyes catch the light and how pieces of your hair fall out of your pony tail framing you face. Your hair slightly a mess, probably due to running yet all he could think about was how much he wanted to mess it up even more. You run his hands through it and just yank your head back with a fist full of your locks. The two of you hadn’t even exchanged words to each other but he knew he wanted you. You’re eyes met his after he was done checking you out.

“Do you like what you see?...” Your eye brow raised in amusement as you caught his wandering eyes. You take this time to check out the officer who you assumed would be watching you tonight. His uniform and vest highlighting how broad his chest is, the sleeves tight around his arms due to the amount of muscle it was trying to contain. His pants tightened around his thighs. Blond hair slightly covering his eyes. He clenches his jaw and you swear that thing could cut diamonds. This man was hot and you cant help but smirk at the fact he was checking you out. You look back down to his chest to see his name tag, Bakugou. “...Officer Bakugou” His face immediately pulls into a scowl in defense. 

“Oh you fucking wish” He pulls his eyes away from you and rest his head on the back of his seat. He shifted in his seat, trying to get comfortable, finding it impossible as this chair was a piece of shit. So he stands up and starts looking around trying to find something else to focus on. You break him out of his thoughts.

“Do you have anything else that I could wear? These clothes are ruined and I’d like to be in proper clothing.” You say in reference to your tattered clothes, ruined by jumping over fences and having them get caught and rip. You hear a ‘tsk’ and see him start to walk off. Rolling your eyes at the mans action, you sit down on the chair in your cell seeing as he walked off without giving you a response.

“Here” you look up to see him sliding a shirt and pair of pant in through the bars. You walk over and grab them from his hands, running your finger tips across his skin in the process. He yanks his hand back before you can try to touch him again. You wanted more. Frowning, you walk back near the chair and set your clothes down on it, your hands go to the edge of you shirt but you stop feeling a burning gaze on your back. You turn around to see him staring at you.

“Do you mind?” Raising your eye brow at him.

“I have to watch you to make sure you don’t attempt to do anything that could cause harm to yourself.” He says coldly, as if he wasn’t dying at the opportunity to see what was under your clothes.

“Okay then suit yourself.” With a smirk on your lips you pull you shirt off over your head, making sure that he could see everything. You slowly fold it and move down to you pants, your finger lingering at the zipper for a moment before pulling it down. Your hands make there way to waist band and tug them down, shimming out of the tight pants, making you butt sway infront of him. If he was going to watch you, you were going to make sure he got a good show out of it. Hands linger around your curves as you snake the fabric down your legs at an agonizingly slow pace. Katsuki could feel his pants tightening at the sight, his breath catching in his throat. A smirk across your face as you see his flustered reaction to your stripping. Activating your quirk you slowly walk over to the bars separating the two of you.

“Why don’t you get in here” Your words putting the man in a trance as he struggles against your suggestion. Starting to get ticked of he isn’t already subdued you speak up again, “Don’t make me repeat myself, you wont like the consequences.”  He feels himself start moving towards your cell against his better judgement. He fights against the feeling in his chest pulling him forward, but before he knows it he’s infront of you inside of the cell. A sinister shine in your eyes as you step closer to the blond, closing the distance, Katsuki could feel the room getting hotter. Your hands make its way to his chest, paralyzing him underneath your touch. 

“Look at you, now go be good boy for me and sit down.” His face burns red at the demand, no one talks to him like this, so why was it turning him on so much. He stays in his place as his last attempt at keeping his dominance over the situation. Your hand travels up to his jaw, fingers roughly grasping either side as you growl into his ear, your patience being tested “Do not test me pretty boy, do what you’re told.” 

You see him struggling against your command feeling conflicted at the switch of power. You put both of you hands on his chest and push him down onto the chair. His eyes wide unable to stop you as you reach down into his pouch grabbing his cuffs. Quickly, you rip off his vest and shirt leaving his torso bare. You walk behind him in the chair, your hands on his shoulders running down his arms, a burning trail left where ever your nails lightly scratch, until your hands make it his wrists. Roughly grabbing them and yanking them behind his back, cuffing his wrist to the chair, permanently securing him in place to allow you to do whatever you please. He assumed you were just going to take advantage of the situation and leave, but he was sorely mistaken. You travel to the front of him leaning forward to kiss his jaw, traveling down to his neck. You roam his neck, searching for his pulse, kissing it once you find it. A groan rips out past his lips, unable to stop it at the sudden pleasure coursing through him. The noise sending a wave over power over you as you start kissing more harshly, sucking and biting at the spot, desperately wanting to hear the noise again.

Once satisfied with the mark now on his neck, you back up standing in front of him, your hands moving down to his pants as you start undoing them. His eyes widen as you pull down his pants and underwear down in one swift movement, his raging boner slapping against his abdomen as he sucks in a harsh breath at the release from the tight confinement. A whine leaves his lips as your hands leave burning trails all over his body, purposely avoiding where he was starting to crave your touch most. Desperate to know how your soft touches would feel against him, the anticipation of whether you’d be gentle or not was starting to eat him alive.

“Did I hear a whine baby? Are you that desperate for me. Look at you, rock hard and I haven’t even done anything yet, absolutely disgusting.” Your words like venom. He twitches as your hand grasps the base of his cock, a deep gasp coming out at your sudden touch. Your other hand goes to his hip pushing him down. Your mouth goes to his ear, “If you fucking move again, I will stop do you understand?” Katsuki swallows hard, suddenly unable to find any words. He hisses as you hand leaves his dick to his throat, choking the man. “Answer me Bakugou”

“Yes princess” He couldn’t help it anymore. He was under your trance but he could care less, all he knew was he needed you. That evil smirk crosses your face once again at his submission. 

“Good boy” You release his neck and trail back down to his throbbing dick. Your thumb brushes over his tip collecting all of the precum oozing out of it. You slowly pump him in your hand, his breath catching in his throat. You gather the excess saliva in your mouth and spit it onto his hard cock. His eyes shoot to yours as the cool liquid meets his burning hot member.

Your hand starts a steady past as you move up and down, making sure to add pressure to the prominent vein on the underside of his shaft. Your hand twisting every time you get to his tip earning a deep groan from his throat. He gets lost in ecstasy as you start picking up the pace, giving extra attention to his tip. He’s so caught up in it that when you replace your hand with your mouth he lets out a moan. You make him bottom out inside your mouth and the noises coming from the man infront of you make you let out a moan yourself, the vibrations only bringing him further pleasure. 

“Fuck princess that- ugh- feels sooo good” your tongue presses deeply into the vein all the way up to his tip, you make sure to give extra attention to the sensitive swollen head. Relaxing your throat, you take him all the way in, him pressing down your throat. But it was completely worth is for the look on his face. Eyebrows furrowed and his head thrown back in pure bliss. You move you head back up adding your hand in to meet his balls as you start massaging them. Katsuki is a moaning mess under your touch and wants nothing more than to run his hands through your hair and fuck into your mouth relentlessly. Watch as you start tearing up at the lack of air as he just gets off. But being completely under your control instead turned him on to no end. The added pleasure from your hand in combination with your mouth was sending him over board. He throws his head back as a deep groan leaves his lips along with several profanities as he shoots hot white ropes into your mouth, His orgasm taking over him with no warning. Surprised by his sudden release you swallow all of his seed, yet continue your movements. When he notice that you show no sign of stopping he lets out a whine at how sensitive he was. He tried moving away but your free hand grips his thigh, fingernails digging in as he hisses at the pain.

“Wha-what are you doing? I cant-” his voice uneasy from a mix of coming down from his high and the sensitivity he felt. You release his dick with a loud pop.

“You see I never said you could finish, but you decided to be a selfish little whore and finish anyways.” You stand up, releasing your grip from both his balls and thighs. You push his knees together and then move your hands to the clip of your bra and undo it, letting it drop to the ground. Your hands shoot to your breasts as you give them a rough squeeze, Katsuki drinking in the sight, whimpering as his sensitive cock twitches. His eyes glued to your hands as the travel down your body to the waistband of your matching underwear. Your fingers toying with the band, slightly dipping it and bringing it back up, loving how Bakugou reacted to your every move. His face flushed from the hormones rushing through his body, his dick painfully hard at the beautiful image infront of him. You pull the underwear down your thighs, strings of slick connect to the lacy clothing. Saying that everything that had been happening wasn’t turning you on severely would be dead wrong. Every moan that left his mouth sent a jolt straight to your core and you wanted, no needed, something, and you knew exactly what you were going to do.

You bring you legs on either side of one of his massive thigh and lower yourself onto him. His eyes widen as you grind yourself against him, throwing your head back as pleasure courses through you at the friction. His eyes shoot to where you were seated and watched as you shamelessly got yourself off on him. He watched as your juices drip down his leg, his cock twitches as he wanted nothing more than to be buried deep within your walls, slamming into you. He wines as you let out a loud moan, the friction feeling so good against your swollen clit.

“Please princess- fuck- let me make you feel go-” You stop his talking by shoving the lace into his mouth and grab his jaw roughly.

“All you deserve right now is to be my pretty little fuck toy okay. If you can behave then maybe ill let you fuck me.” You purr into his ear, your hot breath fanning across his neck as you move your hips grinding against him. You moan at the feeling, continuing to expertly move your hips back and forth. As you feel yourself getting close you reach your hand up to your nipples and starts tugging at them sending waves of pleasure into your core, giving you just the boost you needed. Your hand shoots to the back of Kastuki’s head tugging on his soft hair as you chaise your release. He watches your every move as you cum all over his thigh, his cock throbbing at the sight of your orgasm. Your eyes closed, eyebrows furrowed as you bit your lip, failing your attempt to hold back your moans. Once you come down from your high you move your legs so that you are no longer straddling his thigh, but now his waist, your soaking core pressed against his dick. A muffled moan attempts to leave his lips at the much needed pressure. Your hand goes to his mouth and you retrieve the now soaked pair of undies, a trail of saliva following. “Do you want to fuck me baby?”

“Yes, please Y/N. please let me fill you up.” he groans as you move your hips to grind against him.

“Do you think you deserve to touch me?” You ask the desperate man, a smile on your face at how eager he is.

“Fuck yes, let me make you feel so good” You lean down to wear his pants were grabbing the key, reaching behind him pushing the key into the cuff unlocking them. His hand immediately go to your body assaulting everything he could touch. Firmly grasping your breasts moving his  hands across your body down to your hips as you lift yourself to allow him to slip into you. A moan escapes both of you as he bottoms out due to how slick you were. Your walls clench around him holding him like a vice. He trusts into you holding onto your hips and you place your hands onto each of his shoulders, letting you stabilize yourself as he rutts into you. 

Each of his thrusts hit all of the right spots, rubbing against your walls deep inside of you. You’ve never felt this filled. You lean down and your lips meet with a fiery passion. Tongues fight for dominance as he speeds up his movements. You eventually win, not wanting him to forget his place. You break away from the kiss, a mix of both of you spit dripping from your mouth and you let it drip onto his glistening chest. You look down at his lustful face.

“You fill me up so good Bakugou, hitting every spot with your massive cock. Are you close baby?” Your hands making their way back to his hair, tugging at the blond locks as you feel the familiar feeling building in your core as he slams into your g-spot.

“uughh yes. I can feel how close you are, So fucking tight- god, fuck- let me cum with you princess.” His words enough to start the overwhelming feeling so you lean into his ear.

“Then cum with me baby” He sends a rough thrust into you and you come undone, a white flash taking over at the intensity of this second orgasm. You yank on the locks of hair in your fingers. Katsuki groans feeling you clench around him, trusting into you haphazardly as his own orgasm takes over, completely filling you with his hot cum. 

He slows his movements, riding out both of your highs, until he comes to a stop still deep inside of you. You both stay there catching your breath as you rest you head on his shoulder trying to regain your senses. After a few moments you lift yourself off of him, immediately missing the fullness. You move off of his lap and allow him to stand up to grab his clothes. He bends over grabbing his pants and pulling them back on. While fumbling with the button he is suddenly interrupted by a hard hit to the head causing him to fall to the floor. You frown slightly at him as you place the chair back on the ground. You slip on your clothes and drag him to the cell wall and sit him against the bars. You clip the cuffs in place securing him to the bar as you back up slightly, pushing the fallen hair out of his face.

“Its nothing personal I promise” You stand up and walk away from the unconscious man toward to door, key in hand. You unlock the cell door and walk out, not before turning back to him one final time.

“Plus I don’t think this is the last time we will be meeting.”

A/N: AAAAAAAAA im sORRY. If you guys enjoy this one I can do a part two were the tables are turned??? because im a slut for dom! bakugou

[jigglybellysoftheart]

My thoughts on StufferDB - Opinions and takedown information

In light of the recent doxxings that have occurred, I want to share what I feel is very valuable information about the website StufferDB. My opinion is an unpopular one, but I would encourage you to hear me out. It is based on my personal experience interacting with the owner and moderators of the site, and I feel that the majority opinion of StufferDB is dangerous. In this post, I explain why, and I give important advice on the best ways to control and/or remove your content from the website. This is a long post, but again I feel all of the information I have provided is very important for models. I have added a keep reading bar for your convenience.

I want to make it very clear from the beginning of this post that I do not agree ethically with the nonconsenting sharing of photos and videos, paid or unpaid. However, we all must recognize that it is an unfortunate and inevitable reality of posting anything online. I also want to be clear that no one from StufferDB asked me to post this - these are all 100% my own words and opinions, and I took the initiative myself to post this.

I was a moderator of the StufferDB Discord server (never the website) for about 2 years and only very recently have stepped down. Being in this position made me privy to all of the moderator chats, and a lot of behind the scenes information. I was pleasantly surprised by the morality of the site mods. I will not lie, there is absolutely some toxic masculinity - all of the mods are men. But in general, they are good people who understand the inherent dangers of posting this type of content, and are willing to help where they can. If you have watched Wood's video, the mod that they had a bad experience with was removed several years ago when the bad things that he was doing came to light. This was before my time associated with the site, so I cannot comment personally on what or how all of that occurred, only that he is gone and the opinion of him from the other mods is an extremely negative one.

I would consider the owner of the website, Xen, to be a personal friend. I trust him quite a bit, and genuinely believe he is a good person. We have spoken at length about using the internal traffic of StufferDB to provide safety tips and information about known predators in the community - this was his idea not mine, and we have discussed this for over a year, maybe even longer, so it isn't just a damage control reaction to what has happened recently. He cares about the safety of the people in this community and is more than willing to do whatever he can to improve it.

The moderation of SDB is not good. All of the mods, Xen, and myself are aware of this. This is not meant to be an excuse, rather an explanation. The moderators are all unpaid volunteers, and there are only a few of them. There is much more work than they are able to handle themselves, and the website has a LOT of traffic. I do not think the website itself is responsible for the sometimes toxic environment it contains, rather the userbase is, and there is not the heavy moderation that other websites have to prevent it.

I personally view StufferDB as a containment zone. It is a convenient place for people to dump all of the content that they collect. This is a good thing, because people are more likely to post all of your stuff in one place, rather than spread it to a bunch of different websites. It makes it easier for you to monitor what is out there, and, if you want/need to, to remove it. If an equivalent to this website was recreated, it would most likely not be run by people who are willing to do that.

I think that the popular negative opinion of StufferDB is dangerous. The vast majority of people have heard bad things about StufferDB, and do not even consider speaking to the people who run the website, and models do not want to be associated with the site at all. This is a bad thing, and I will explain why in the next paragraph.

The site is designed in such a way that if you do contact them, they will happily give you a type of account on the website which allows you complete control of your folder. You will be able to turn off comments, add your links to the top of the folder if you would like, and most importantly, you will have complete control of what content is in the folder. If you would like to delete certain content or even the entire thing, you can. It also gives you complete backend access to the website, so you can even delete sequential uploads of your content. This is a very, very valuable tool. If you ever need to wipe your content, this allows you to do it instantly, without waiting for anyone to approve a DCMA or get back to you.

In order to accomplish this, you will first need to register an account with StufferDB if you do not already have one, and then contact the mod team. The best way to do this would be through their discord, but you can also do it through email (contact@stufferdb.com). Just be aware that the email sometimes goes long periods of time without being checked, so I strongly suggest Discord.

If you do not want a model account (again I highly suggest that you get one), there is still a way to get your content removed. You can contact any of the mods on the Discord server (I would personally recommend contacting iheartchubbybellies, he's a good guy and online a ton) with the links to the content you would like removed. As with all things, be polite. You are essentially asking them for a favor. They are pretty willing to take down content no questions asked, but they do have the power to ignore you or make you fill out a real DMCA. So it is in your best interest to be nice and make it as easy for them as you can, even if you're (understandably) very angry. You can also do this via their email, contact@stufferdb.com.

This was a really long post, but I hope that it helps people who needed it and explains the situation well. I feel that it is very important that other models know this is an option, as it is a very important tool that could potentially result in a LOT of damage control.

[karanoid]

about top joe discord

LET ME ADDRESS A FEW POINTS:

There has been many fear and anxiety regardless the top!joe discord I made. I understand how it gives my discord a bad reputation. Somebody has kindly reached out to me to ask me addressing several points, which I’m now gonna clarify:

1. I am racist, I asked why, and they said mostly because of my dismissive behavior to people who called me out for drawing yusuf adorned in gold jewelry which made their friends feel unsafe. So, I am a muslim and was raised in a muslim household and community. I am fucking brown.

I didn’t say it because you don’t need to know that about me. What bothers me is how some people feel the need to come to my inbox informing me “maam yusuf is a religious muslim who prays 5 times a day and do all the supplementary prayers all while he drinks alcohol and fuck nicky in the dailies, he wouldnt be wearing gold maam no maam.” as if I didn’t know any better. so please, now don’t do that. If you care so much about the littlest details like wearing gold then you’ll also call out yusuf because he draws living beings and drinks champagne. yes it’s true muslim men are forbidden from wearing gold AND silk but let’s not forget, nothing in the comic and movies imply yusuf has ever been religious. It’s easier to see nicolo as religious because he was a fucking priest. Yusuf was a fucking merchant, it’s easy to see that he’d be less faithful because he would have been travelling and seen many kind of people to broaden his horizons and not contained to a little bubble of hyper religious community. However, let me remind you: whether yusuf AND nicolo are religious or not is entirely UP TO THE AUTHOR/ARTIST. It’s totally fine to make him religious and if you can respect it THATS GREAT, I ALSO LIKE HIM THAT WAY, but please remember it’s not even canon and hey sometimes I just draw things because I like the aesthetics. Also please, do not harass writers for getting a thing or two incorrect, even white people cannot get christianity correct, even between two muslims could be a disagreement whether this fic’s yusuf is problematic or not. I wouldn’t even expect anything more and THAT’S OKAY. Just don’t be an ass to muslims of color in real life and don’t fall into the believe that it’s a religion of violence. you can say that greg made him that way bc he knew nothing better but hey, I have no problem with that. again, it’s fine to make him religious, I’d be delighted but it’s ALSO fine to make him not religious.

2. I think that people only write Top!Nicky out of political correctness. OKAY. I apologize for this. I thought like this because I have accounts telling me that they were pressured into writing top!nicky or they wanted more readerships so I make a BIG assumption. I realized this is only a small part of switch and top!nicky fics and the big bulk of this must be out of genuine care. So yeah, I apologize for thinking that people only write top!nicky out of political correctness. I think writers should be allowed to write whatever they want. Yes this includes top!Nicky. And in whatever kinks they want it. However, this still doesn’t change that the discourses do scare people away from writing top!joe. Write top!nicky however you want, but stop vague-blogging about top!joe. racism isn’t inherent to top!joe and you can always remind people to be mindful with their writings but discouraging people from writing top!joe is not the solution. 

3. Top!joe is racist and people in the discord are racist. Okay, I am gonna touch several aspects why top!joe discord is considered racist: (1) because I don’t like to switch them, therefore I am racist. Sorry that’s not how it works. I have a clear preference and that’s just how I roll. Besides, a lot of people in the discord (including me) think either they switch (because they are 900 yo) or joe just doesn’t like bottoming. I’m not the kind of people who refers to reality for fiction I consume but people who prefer to top or to bottom exist (2) i want to be away from accountability and responsibility. Nope. The reason I made it is because I wanted to gather people with same interest as mine. 

4. I paint Yusuf as aggressive and the whole discord like him being an aggressive top. I think this is the only reason why the discord is seen in a negative light. Because wow what a coincidence that someone vagueblogged my discord at the day I celebrated about Nicky suggesting 20 years and wrote a post about how Joe is allowed to be angry. And beside someone made the WRONG assumption that we are focusing on Joe’s anger and violence (what). Okay, I don’t know how to break this down. But I will try. First, yes I was overjoyed at the news. Because I’m one of the people that do not like feral!nicky headcanon. I liked it at first bc it was funny but then it was twisted into Nicky being cold. So I don’t like it (lol), I still like it though but like I don’t seriously think that way. However, I never liked the idea that Nicky suggested higher than Joe. Because then his character just doesn’t click with me, there was a cognitive dissonance for me because joe clearly says nicky’s heart overflows kindness, you can see nicky as a medic in the credit montage. Also, from their body language and from the way the movie set em up, I think Joe is the one who suggested higher and I am glad to be proven right. Second, I did write a post about how Joe is allowed to be angry at Booker. People agreed with me, so I was not alone. But the reason I wrote that post is not because I wanted to paint yusuf as aggressive, but because I’m tired at people who think Joe shouldn’t display any negative emotions. I think it’s out of character. I do NOT think Joe is aggressive. That is NOT his wholeass personality. If you looked at my tog art tag, never once I portrayed Joe as anything aggressive. If I do, please show me. Third, people are conflating this with my post where I reblogged with a comment that implies aggressive Joe isn’t racism. Okay in this, the context is IN BED. It’s Joe being aggressive in BED. It’s literally BED ROLES AND FANTASY. I don’t even have a particular scenario in my head when I reblogged that, the original post clearly refers to bed roles with manhandling and kinks etc. like, why would you spank someone in public? Lastly, about the discord, NOPE, most people in the discord agree that Joe is either a GENTLE DOM or SERVICE TOP. But in my opinion, if someone likes Joe as an aggressive top (again, bed roles baby) I really don’t think it’s racism. It’s just... projection? 

anyway, back to joe’s emotions, these are posts from a moroccan man (paragraph #7) and a brown woman whose posts I agree with. Let’s be real, people of color are expected to shut up in favor of white people’s fragile feelings.

Now, about racism in fandom. I understand the concern because muslim men are painted as violent and aggressive. You know what I will never forgive those radicals for taking away innocents lives and to leave a lasting damage in how muslims are perceived in the west. However, you have to keep in mind, Joe in the movie is far from being stereotyped. I mean, Gina and Marwan practically greenlit him? Now, you might have concerns that writers are gonna turn him into a walking stereotype which is... okay, I understand that concern. But the solution is to communicate this ‘hey I think you make him too stereotypical in this etc etc’ not “write more top!nicky AND shame top!joe” because again, top!joe is not inherently racist.

also some people mentioned that they hope I recognize racial bias in the ship. dude, that goes without saying, all aspects of your life will be influenced by racial biases. however, this kind of thing is not specific to fandom/shipping. Like I said I’m fucking brown, friends and families with facial features that cater to white expectation are treated better. I did say at the bottom of this post, yeah I did notice why it’s always a brown character who’s always openly mad. And that’s in itself a form of racial bias. Racial biases affect everyone, white or POC, it doesn’t matter. But I got an issue with how people think this is racism. like how convenient, if by falling to racial biases mean you are a racist then what about those white people who created this racial biases in the first place? and I noticed the persons who got the audacity to cry about everything in this fandom is white?? I mean okay, they don’t know what I am, but not everyone is comfortable with sharing their private information like ethnic group, faith, etc. what if they really don’t want to share it? Because like you said, racial bias, whether good or bad will affect me. Now, I don’t know what white people are feeling, I’m not white. However, based on my interactions with them. We’re all just people sharing same interest, it could be they fall into racial biases, but all we shared about are just regular HCs. Even people making a conscious effort to combat racial bias still in essence fall for racial bias. You just cannot escape it.

According to this post, fandom assumes that the bottom is the proxy of writers, I don’t think this is applicable to everyone but let’s just say it’s true and people tend to write about their projection better so I’m gonna assume the racism part comes from the fact that..yeah I do think the bottom usually gets more fleshed out as a result of them being the writers proxy, so somebody posted this in the discord which I agree because yes I do think there’s a lack about yusuf’s background especially when it comes to crusade era:

but since I know most writers aren’t muslims, to me it’s not so much about racism but they simply know nothing about it, and not always out of ignorance either but in this climate, if you get a thing or two wrong you’d get harassed. so *shrugs* I understand the reluctancy. But here’s the thing, this is not about top/bottom issue but because most of the fandom are white so they have more freedom in writing the white character. Anyway, plenty of people have projected themselves into yusuf already, the whole “top/bottom” thing in this fandom is not even a thing. Yes, some writers project on the bottom so if you prefer bottom!joe that’s fine, somebody in the discord is doing a research and it turned out top!joe wasn’t even a CLEAR majority in JULY. So clearly they got their share already?

so please, let’s stop with the vitriol. if people are preferring top!joe it’s clearly because of different preferences. it’s not that deep. it’s the same way with how some people are preferring top!nicky. But we’re being driven out based on a hypothetical scenarios? like what do you want? for us to cease existing??? don’t be ridiculous.

I know people won’t listen to me. So this is my suggestion: LETS JUST IGNORE THINGS YOU DON’T LIKE. LET’S ALL JUST AGREE TO DISAGREE.