#and the eggs in this aren’t real kids they’re like. pets.

[comfymoth]

sometimes the only way to deal with your job is to imagine your little blorbos doing it. and then just get way too invested in that

[lillian-nator]

Ranch AU

Or, as we all call it, The Cowboy AU 

Essentially, this was something that I created, and it’s gonna be purely fluffy, with a small bit of angst here and there. Any of the angst will be hurt/comfort. It’s meant to make us all feel better after those fucking harsh lore streams. I started it, based off of some shit in the Dad!Schlatt AU, and after that I honestly didn’t write most of it. It had really been a project in the discord, because we were all sad and shit, so if you have some fluff to offer, please do! I am happy to make almost anything canon - and we could always use more ideas. :)

I hope you enjoy some mindless farm boi fluff!

BASIC INFO: 

It's SBI's Ranch (Phil is Dadza, Tommy, Techno, and Wilbur are his sons)

Phil, sells to the local stores, and manages the crops. He doesn't do too much labor anymore. He hired his boys for that.

Dream, SapNap, Purpled, Tubbo, Callahan, and Punz are all hired farm hands

George, Niki, Ranboo, and Fundy work at the shop where they sell their products; Niki makes all of the dairy products, Fundy and Ranboo stock, label prices, and keeps track of sales, and George works customer service with his Gogy magic.

Wilbur works with the sheep, the goats, and he trains the dogs (Collies - they herd sheep), he also works with the crops a lot

Schlatt isn't hired but he might as well be. He can be found wherever Wilbur is, and is probably drinking a beer he stole from Phil. He doesn't get paid, but he eats all of their food.

Tommy works with the cows, the pigs, the chickens, the horses (sometimes), his goose, and the dogs / cats that they own

Tubbo works with Tommy. Essentially. But he also works on the crops, and the bee farm that they have set up.

Techno works with the horses, and is currently training to be a veterinarian.

Dream works on horses with Techno - they race the horses competitively - but otherwise, is where ever he is needed (usually crops)

Purpled works with Tommy and Tubbo. He mostly works with Tubbo on crops and his bee farm.

Punz and SapNap haul things. As your resident Chads, they are in-charge of moving heavy things and doing manual labor.

Callahan is their repair man. He fixes tractors, and machines on a daily basis.

SOME HEADCANNONS: 

HENRY, a saga:

that henry has a matching bandana to the one Tommy has so that everyone knows thats henry. Tommy doesn't like it when people touch henry so henry gets a bandana - Shark -

when Phil first started raising Tommy, he would've never guessed that he would turn out the way he did.

He was loud, and brash, and hit his brothers, and made fun of the neighbor's kids,  but then Tubbo became Tommy's best friend, and then Phil introduced Tommy to the cows.

The cows are Tommy's everything.

When a Bred Heifer is due, he sits with them everyday past their due date - he sat with Betty for 5 days when she wouldn't birth a calf. He was so fucking worried.

When one of his cows are sick, he sleeps in the barn until they get better. His last days with Harvey fucked him up.

Tubbo, Tommy, Purpled, and Ranboo spend long nights at the farm, and Tommy always leans against Henry as he stares up at the stars.

Henry who his best girl (all cows are girls and Tommy doesn't give a shit about gendered names). Henry who wears a matching bandana. Henry who is fluffy, and warm, and Tommy's everything. -

Sometimes when Tommy had a bad day, whether it’s stress, or school, or just whatever, Tommy sleeps in the Henry’s stall with her. Phil has so many pictures of Tommy curled up with Henry. From when she was first born to now. - Eye

Tommy hates winter because that’s the one time of year Phil won’t let him sleep in the barn. Even with the layers and heat lamps it’s too unsafe. Tommy always gets up extra early in the winter. Both because he has to check and break ice in the water troughs but also because he misses his girl - Eye -

Henry's mother, Betty, was the first Cow Tommy had helped during birth. He sat with her for 5 days when she hadn't gone into labor past her due date. It took 9 hours for Henry to be born, and Tommy was there through the entire thing -

Well, almost the entire thing. He was at school for the first hour of labor, and was so pissed at Phil when Phil knew and didn't immediately come get Tommy from School.

It always felt like Tommy and Henry had a special bond because Tommy literally raised Henry from birth. -

They didn't think Henry was gonna make it when she was first born, but Tommy was fucking determined, and bottle fed that cow every single day and night. When she was slowly weened off milk, Tommy got unironically sad that he didn't have to bottle feed her anymore.

He still visited her every morning, and milked her mother at dawn, right after he got eggs from his hens. -

Henry waits for Tommy at the end of their long ass drive way when he gets home from school. She knows that when the bus pulls up that her boy is back and so she’s always there waiting lazily for pets and a nice walk together back to the house. Even when it’s cold and someone is waiting for the kids to get home in an ATV or something Tommy always walks back to the house with Henry - Eye

Thinking about how long these fucking country roads are. And how Tommy and Tubbo have the same bus stop even though Tubbo and Tommy's houses are a couple of miles away. Tommy has to walk a mile to get to the beginning of his driveway, and seeing his favorite girl there is like a reward at the end of a journey. Tommy probably keeps a bag of feed in his backpack, which is just a mixture of grain, hay and corn, and gives Henry a handful to thank her for waiting for him.

Clementine, The Goose: 

Tommy has a goose, and names it Clementine. 

He found her in the woods one day, when she was very young, and he decided he was going to keep Clementine. 

Clementine is only ever nice to Schlatt and Tommy. No one knows why. 

Clementine follows Tommy around. Very endearing. 

Phil doesn’t question it at this point 

NEW MILO, the sequel:

OG Milo is a kitten that Wilbur found on the side of the road, in the rain, and he took the kitten in, trying to save him. Wilbur immediately got attached.

Techno pulled an all nighter, half spent  trying to save OG Milo and the other half comforting Wilbur. "You couldn't have helped, he was too starved and out in the rain for too long." Phil adds that if Techno can't save something, it can't be saved. - Ethan

Wilbur's next cat was named New Milo in honor - Ethan

Anyway, New Milo has three kittens. Blood God, Boots (given to Fundy), and Bumbles (given to Tubbo). They're called the Bees and they were born Christmas Eve - Ethan

BLOOD GOD, the pussy:

Blood God is Techno's cat. Its just a ferall little molly that loves techno too much. - M -

After Techno helped New Milo have her litter, he wasn't originally gonna keep any of the kittens, but he saw this tiny thing with the orange muzzle and just: stole her.

He is also nicknamed Blood God, for both his skill in hunting and healing

He originally named her Piglet because the orange spot looked like a pig snout [the main reason he chose her and not her stronger littermates] but called her Blood God teasingly when he first adopted her

Wilbur didn't realize he meant it as a nickname and told everyone her name was Blood God

Techno still calls her Piglet, but everyone else calls her Blood God because that's the name on her collar.

Most of their cats aren't collared, but Phil made her a custom collar because he was worried she'd get lost hunting with Techno and Dream - Ethan -

Blood God is such a batshit cat. She's a runt, really, oddly small compared to her siblings, and she's their best mouser

She's the cat that everyone leaves scraps for, but never tries to pet out of fear

Often she'll climb up people's legs and sit on their shoulders, and it's the only time you can pet her.

She is very, very affectionate with Techno and he loves her very much. He has her very well trained, and she comes with him and Dream when they go hunting sometimes alongside a terrier.

She's a little itty bitty calico molly and she has an orange patch right over her muzzle - Ethan

TOMMY'S HENS, the chicks:

He gets real defensive of his hens. They lay eggs for him. They deserve to be treated well. -

Tommy does in fact have an egg incubator; Sometimes it's just better. Tommy prefers letting his hens care for their own eggs, but he does still use the incubator - Ethan -

Some chickens enjoy being thrown so they can flap and shit. A few days after passing ownership of the hens to Tommy, Phil is going down to the crops and just sees Tommy chucking his hens and watching them rush back to be thrown again

he feels a hint of "what the hell" but he notes the gentleness tommy does it with and how the chickens seem to be enjoying it and he shrugs and keeps walking - Ethan -

Once Wilbur was helping Tommy with the chickens and he dropped an egg

Unfertilized, of course, but Tommy looked like you'd just punted a toddler

Three years later, Wilbur isn't allowed to touch the eggs anymore

Tommy's paranoid he'll hurt a live one

"Get out." "What - Tommy it was an accident, it was just one egg." "If you aren't gonna treat Phoebe's eggs with care; You can get the fuck out." "Tommy -" "Out." -

the quality chicken eggs depends usually on how the chicken feels. While under his care, the eggs the chickens produced were really good.

Under Tommy's care? Phil's eggs tasted like horseshit in comparison - Ethan -

They have their like, main barn and to the side of it is a little pond. The chicken coops are a little beside it, with the singular duck coop (he only has four ducks) closest. He calls the area the Business Bay

AGES: 

Tommy - 16 Tubbo - 16 Purpled - 17 Ranboo - 17

Techno - 19 Wilbur - 21 Schlatt - 19 Phil - idk like 45 or some dad shit

Fundy - 18 Niki - 19

SapNap - 18 Dream - 19 George - 20 Punz - 19 Callahan - 20

RANDOM HC’S: 

Tubbo, Niki, Ranboo, and Fundy are siblings. -

Whenever they eat meat they talk about who they're eating. 

They tell stories about their day and such but they always start dinner, when its meat, saying "rip lmao" and telling stories about them

...they don’t do it when they eat beef

Everyone sitting down with their plates of ham Wilbur: so who was it? Phil: Fern Tommy, already eating: rest in peace fern Techno: he shat on my boots once -

Each of the boys get a few animals that aren't allowed to be butchered.

Wilbur has Friend, Enemy, and Skit the Bull. (Wilbur wanted to name a Bull "Shit", but Phil said no because Tommy was 11 and already swearing too much for his liking)

Techno has none of the livestock. He only cares about Blood God, and his horses.

Tommy has a pig [currently unnamed], his Hens (6 or 7 of them, that lay eggs), and his dairy cows -

Phil is ALWAYS chewing on straw. -

Tommy, Techno, and Wilbur all call Phil "Pops" or "Pop". They all used to call him "Papa" though. It's like a coming of age thing for the three of them, when they stop calling him "Papa" and start calling him "Pop".

Phil may or may not have cried when Tommy started calling him "Pop" at the age of 12.

ALTHOUGH, all 3 boys know that if you want anything, you call Phil "Papa". Phil can't resist it. -

Techno and Tommy with starry eyes: pops Phil: no Wilbur: Papa Phil, with slightly less confidence: n-no   - Ethan -

Tommy holding a baby calf in his hands that he walls to bring inside for the night because hes in love with her: papa please!! Phil, practically in tears: fine.   - M

[yoimix]

haikyuu!! as types of best friends.

➼ ft. hinata, sugawara, bokuto, osamu+atsumu.

➼ playlist. talk too much - coin, higher - banks, romanticism - mrs green apple, me and my friends - james vincent mcmorrow

➼ a/n. these have light bff2l undertones hhn i love that trope, pls forgive me. </3 + there’s some timeskip spoilers for atsumu & osamu’s part.

❀ hinata :-

i wish the childhood best friends trope a very good evening.

no one’s better than hinata at making friends, even if you met after he spiked a ball into your face. you’re childhood best friends too !! so imagine being a child and having to pick up this goofball by the scruff, who has the audacity to ask you to play with him after giving you a scratched up forehead and teary eyes from a ball to the face. but, like, you were the one who said yes so it’s on you :-)

sometimes you bicker but it’s ok bc he would literally go to the ends of the earth for you if you asked. no kidding. he hates sitting still anyway so he’ll just gravitate towards where you are like you’re the sun. also gets you taiyaki in the evenings but climbs in through your window instead of using the front door like a normal person. (he has too much energy </3) if you hear someone yelling your name outside your window and ranting about volleyball games, you know who it is.

ok when he makes you mad with his bullheadedness, you'll be complaining with kageyama (who agrees vehemently) and hinata gets pissy bc you get along a little too well when you're throwing insults about him. (he's not jealous, no, of course not.) but.. how long can you stay mad at this sunshine child anyway?? you'll be pretending you never got mad at all within a few hours and go back to joking around.

he gets distracted if you're watching a match sometimes (bokuto somehow got it into his head that he needs to show off in front of you) so you got banned from watching. he overcomes it later on so you can cheer him on in his jersey too <3

gives you ALL his attention when you talk or even complain about your life. he reacts a lot to whatever you have to say so you have to pretend there aren’t people behind you glaring at hinata for having the same decibel sound level as a jet engine.

you have matching keychains you bought at a local fair !!! (you got a pochacco one for hinata but it’s super worn out by now so he keeps it in his wallet instead.) 

he has not won a single multiplayer video game against you (*cough cough* mario kart *cough*) and you don’t even have to be good at it. if you call him a loser, he’ll lose even harder. gets unnecessarily mad at just dance and you have to calm him down.

... you’ve probably kissed bc the two of you (mostly him) were too eager for a first kiss and you got fed up with his pubescent ramblings and ended up kissing him. and then had an early mid-life crisis bc you guys are definitely just friends. (unless.. unless he doesn’t think that way.. surprise surprise 😳) also he's.. kind of bad for make out practice... it’s like kissing a month old puppy.. sorry :/. if you happen to make a lot of offhand comments and tease him about his kissing skills, he WILL turn tomato red and argue in gibberish. only do that in private bc the rest of the world thinks you’re sickeningly cute together >:(

overall, your best friend is a ball of sunshine (who occasionally pisses you off) and your #1 motivation to get out of bed. it's mostly bc he's somehow there to get you out of bed though you've repeatedly told him to not climb in through your window. at least the sun is smiling upon you every day <3

❀ sugawara :-

being best friends with him is such a secure relation !! 

he’s your soft place to fall but also would provide gentle (not so gentle) reminders for your wellbeing (STUDY!!! WATER!!!! BREAKFAST!!). doesn’t get mad when you say you skipped breakfast but gives you this look of disappointment which is 100x more effective. still gets a granola bar for you though. also he literally carries bandaids for u and he’s been doing that since second grade bc you fell off the swing ONCE. you know, just in case. if you’re an accident-prone hazard to society, you’re in luck. 

BEST HUGS especially if you had a rough day and want to sob into his shoulder. if u damage his $85 hoodie tho, he will make u do his laundry and also buy snacks for him. but like he is so soft (his skin is SUPER soft bc he actually follows a skincare routine now) and cuddly like a teddy bear, it's a small price to pay for salvation.

he will hype you up for anything you do !!!! new outfit? offers to be your personal photographer. scored an A+? will treat u to your fav ice-cream. new job? will tell everyone just how proud he is. 

ALWAYS shares the last bite with you and smiles to himself when you eat it so contented. also!!! hanging out at cafes and taking cute pictures is a must <3 even though you’re not dating, you’ll have photos together that make you look a real couple which ensue teasing from daichi and asahi and admiration/jealousy from noya and tanaka. also he gets weirdly protective of you around the team (i’m looking at the moron quartet) and you have to pull the “koushi you’re not my mom” card. it really strikes a chord with him when you say that out loud.

will egg your ex's house with you if you say the word. somehow gets more pissed than you at your ex (if they're a shitty one). it's kind of scary when he's mad too so.... good luck calming him down. he's also really good at sarcastic trash talk so if you happen to meet your ex on the street... send prayers for their self-esteem.

you don't really fight often but if you happen to disagree, he'll go about it in a pretty mature way and talk it out. if you pick a fight on purpose, he'll catch on to it and either tickle you (excessively) or flick your forehead as punishment for trying to rile him up. it’s impossible to prank him!!!!! it’s like he’s got a sixth sense or something so you might as well give up on anything of the sort. 

you said you want to get a dog (or cat) with him in the near future and he somehow equated that to having children. turned bright red and started saying it’s too soon to be thinking of that while you had daichi stop you from smacking some sense into your overly imaginative best friend. (i mean, you do need to live together if you want to raise a pet sooo)

his lockscreen is a picture of the two of you so a lot of people who try to hit on him take the hint quick. he says it’s unintentional but you know he can be terribly scheming at times. if you say something like “why don’t you date me for real, coward” he will malfunction and not be able to look you in the eye. (“don’t joke around, y/n” “what if i’m not” “it kind of feels illegal to date you” “what do you mean?!💢”)

anyway you are one lucky mf if you have sugawara koushi as your best friend even if there are both ups and downs (mostly ups). having someone care for you so blatantly certainly makes the question of romance arise but you’re content with the most loving best friend ever.

❀ bokuto :-

you guys are the “two best friends in a room, we might kiss” “yes we will” “what” type of best friends PLS

it doesn’t matter what stage of life you met him, it’ll feel like you’ve been best friends since the beginning of time.

it’s just so easy to make friends with this airhead and by god’s gift, you cannot physically get annoyed at this man. sometimes his friends will complain about him being forgetful or blunt but you’re just there like. yeah. that’s bokuto. love him for it. (you seem to have a lot of patience.)

he probably gets into trouble with authority unwittingly, so save your weekends to sweet talk his way out after accidentally implying the coach has a weak mindset. afterwards, you go get ice cream or something and hang out at the dog park to forget it happened. (the amount of second hand embarrassment bokuto has given you though... you need some hard drugs to forget all of it.) 

you probably make a lot of friends through him in high school/college but at the end of the day, it’s just you and him and sometimes akaashi making sure you guys are alive. if you guys are alone together on a friday night, you’ll still be having fun!! very often, it takes shape as karaoke :-) bokuto thinks he’s really great at rapping for some reason (he’s not) so cue you screaming the lyrics in an attempt to ruin your part of the song equally. also he always sets the key wrong??? although you sing the same songs each time?? sometimes he picks a song neither of you have ever heard and the both of you try to guess the melody. he’s terrible at it but at least he’s funny. there’s not a single song he hasn’t had a voice crack in.

if you go clubbing/partying with him, get prepared to be introduced as the friend of “the guy who did four keg stands in a row before proceeding to do a cartwheel unprompted and somehow not throw up”. is on first name basis with the bartenders/hosts and gets you free drinks. also gets hit on often but is oblivious unless they’re being very straightforward. if he’s not into them... you have to pull the s/o card and save his ass. oh also he barks at anyone that gets near your drink.

will always exaggerate when introducing you to new people. “y/n and i met when i saved them from drowning a terrible death.” “it was the children’s pool and you were the one that was screaming.” “and then y/n didn’t really thank me but it’s not like heroes need thanks to do the right thing.” “kou, i will push you into a pool right now, let’s see how well you swim.” (he learned swimming to impress you so joke’s on you.)

he likes to watch you do stuff at the end of the day, so if you see him go o_o at you doing homework, you can just put your earphones on and focus on your work. even if he’s making.. a strangely.. adorable expression. also LOVES to listen to you talk about your day when he’s tired, he says it helps him sleep better (so expect a lot of nighttime calls). moreover, if you say you had a bad dream, he’ll comfort you with his ridiculously confident tone of voice (unless the dream was about something bad happening to him, then he’ll freak out and you’ll have to comfort him instead </3)

ok one thing that’s annoying about him is that he probably leaves food crumbs over your stuff like laptop, bed sheet, etc. you clean it up but bokuto.. is a bit... distracted to notice the mess he’s making. it’s usually pretty difficult to get him to be more aware, but like your glare is enough to make him at least try to be careful from the next time. (either that or he’s become sensitive to your change in mood/emotions bc you know... you’re best friends after all.)

i’m not gonna lie, he probably catches feelings for you at some point. he wants to, like, keep it lowkey bc akaashi told him to take your feelings into consideration too but?? it’s so hard?? you’re literally so pretty?? everything you say is like music to him??? he reacts reflexively to all the firecracker feelings u give him. he probably says he likes you all the time but you dismiss it with “as a friend right :-)”. there’s no climbing up from that one, sorry bokuto.

to summarize, if a moody golden retriever was your human best friend.exe

❀ miya twins :-

they feel like a set. it would be strange to have one of the twins as a bff and not have the other one around whoops 🤷‍♀️ 

either you and osamu bully atsumu in your free time, or you and atsumu annoy osamu for fun (or both) <3. it’s always a good idea to team up with osamu and prank atsumu for fun btw. (put wasabi in his breakfast pancakes and you’ll get a very pissed off but weirdly cute tsumtsum. you can blame it on osamu if you don’t want to face his wrath.) your alternative is to embarrass osamu in front of strangers with atsumu, have fun with that. (second hand embarrassment also works.)

when you were younger, you pretended to not be able to distinguish the twins bc it would visibly rile atsumu up and then you’d go “ok you’re atsumu”... which would further rile him up. osamu got used to your shenanigans though it ticked him off the first time too LOL. call them the wrong name on purpose and they’ll start a riot; be careful when you’re playing with fire pls.

you guys played a lot of knight and prince/princess/royal when you were a kid and atsumu would always try to make osamu the evil dragon holding you captive. in the end, you were somehow the knight, osamu the prince to be rescued and atsumu the big, bad dragon. (it’s kind of funny in hindsight. your parents have photographs of the three of you fighting like no tomorrow.) also speaking of which, your parents are also friends and have bets on which twin you’ll marry (or if you will at all). it’s tearing your parents’ friendship apart.

these two have DEFINITELY fought over whose jersey number you’re going to wear to the games ( “oi, ‘samu, stop brainwashing my best friend into wearing your stupid double digit number” “you know i’m the best friend, ‘tsumu. they clearly like me better over yer ratty ass.” “what did ya say?!?!? if anything, you’re the one that looks like ratatouille.”) you wore kita's jersey number to games.

imagine sunday picnics with the boys !!! by that, i specifically mean osamu and his perfect bento boxes <3 sometimes the two of you will cook together before your outings while a sulking atsumu stands outside bc you didn’t let him. (let him in, you monsters.) he says he can cook too but the last time the twins’ bickering almost burnt the whole kitchen down. the picnics continue well into adulthood and you get to diss your boss to the twins who will always support your rants. (sometimes atsumu will tell you it’s your fault but you can smack him off. we only need supportive besties here 🙄)

if someone hurts u.... they’re going to need divine intervention to be safe... you have two well-built, physically adept best friends ready to beat the shit out of anyone who deliberately breaks ur heart. 

when the twins get into a physical fight...... oh boy. it kinda pisses you off that they’re spewing profanity at each other and you’re the one getting glares. but at the same time, you don’t really want to step into a fight that has nothing to do with you. people should solve their interpersonal issues on their own. they have never fought over you, this isn’t twilight <3 

but the question did come up once on which twin you like better; it’s not something to seriously fight over though. if you chose osamu, atsumu will complain for six days straight and you’ll start to regret ever answering the question. if you say atsumu, osamu won’t feed you his onigiri anymore for a few days which is just as bad. the safest choice is to say neither bc it will both be funny and you won’t suffer too many consequences. if you say you love the both of them for being your best friends all this time and go all mushy, there’s a slight chance they’ll go soft too. god help you from the bone crushing hug you’re about to receive 🙏

you make sure to not miss any of atsumu’s official games !! sometimes he’ll wave at you and make the reporters give you hell bc he’s a little shit. just push osamu to them and run away if it gets that bad. (he gets free advertising for his shop, he should be grateful.)

osamu is super good at cheering you up!!! whether it’s with food or with pleasant talk, you’ll be feeling much better with a full stomach and a calmer state of mind. as for atsumu, he’s really good at you cheering you up by distracting you. he’ll talk about his team or this new serve he learnt and the world will seem a lot brighter bc he seems so happy about it. whichever twin you go to, it’s win-win. 

in return, the twins take up a good chunk of your time. sometimes atsumu will crash at your place after a game though you’ve told him to not lead the damn reporters here. osamu makes you taste test his experimental onigiri... which are not always good..... no seriously, why’d he put honey and tuna in there ?? but still, your life is ridiculously colorful with them around.

anyway, what can i say except what’s better than one best friend?? two best friends !!!

[cinnaminsvga]

intermission • vi | moonlight

→ summary: When the love letter you wrote and submitted as an assignment is leaked to the entirety of your university, it becomes a race against time to dispel rumours and convince the seven suspected muses of the poem that they aren’t the subject before anyone realises that you are the author. Easy, right? Well… maybe not as easy as you think.

→ pairing: bts x reader (feat. jungkook) → genre: college!au, crack, fluff, angst → warnings: none!! it's just jungkook being a cutie!! → words: 3.7K → a/n: this intermission chapter was actually written by @jincherie!! i'm posting it on her behalf since she's currently on hiatus. she had this chapter mostly finished a few months ago and we were waiting to post it until we were both more active (lol) but yeah... things change i guess... anyway see you guys next year (i wanna say /j but really... is it really /j...)

— • masterlist | prev | intermission vi | next • —

Jungkook's strength has never been making friends.

In his mother’s words, a “pleasant and sweet boy” though he might be, that didn’t help much when it came to meeting someone new and the storm of butterflies in his stomach would grow so strong that it froze his limbs and caught his tongue. He’s not too good at first impressions.

A “pleasant and sweet, but terribly shy boy” is actually more along the lines of how Jungkook’s mother describes him, now that he thinks about it. That’s probably a little more accurate.

The sprawling complex he lives in is full of kids, and Jungkook knows each and every one of them. He might be challenged in the social area, but his mother is anything but. She says he takes more after his father, and since his father is usually relaxing inside and reading or drawing when Jungkook sees him at home, he figures that makes enough sense.

Every time someone new moves into the complex, Jungkook’s mother goes to greet them. Of course, he is graciously asked (read: forced) to come along too, just in case they have any kids around his age. This is how he normally meets the other kids on the block. It’s fine, he can’t complain. He has to admit it’s nice meeting all the new and different people that come through. His family is probably one of the ones that have stayed in the complex this long.

When the house next door is emptied of the family he knew, it’s a while before the next one comes in. By the time Jungkook peeks out his window one morning, woken by the telltale sound of a truck beeping as it reverses, and finally sees some movement in the house next to his own, his mother isn’t home. She’d moved into the hospital just a few days earlier, looking ready to pop with the little brother he’d heard so much about in her belly. He’s excited to meet his little brother, and now as he stands on his tippy-toes to get a good look from the window, he finds himself a little excited to meet the new neighbours, too.

It only has a little bit to do with the great, big, fluffy dog they have. Just a little.

It takes a few days for them to move in fully. Jungkook watches from his window every now and then, seeing all sorts of different cars come through. This family has lots of helpers, he notices. By the time they seem to really settle in, Jungkook doesn’t see much of them. Actually, to his disappointment, he doesn’t see anyone around at all. He still hears the dog, glimpses it every so often, but realised that they probably walk it in the mornings before he wakes up.

His mother is home before long, his baby brother cradled in her arms. The first thing she asks as she steps through the door is, “Have the new neighbours moved in? Have you met them yet, Kookie?”

This is perhaps the first time all week he hasn’t cared about the neighbours-- he’s transfixed with his brother. It stays that way for a few days, until the allure wears off when the tiny baby won’t stop crying at night. Perhaps his little brother is something best loved from afar for now, Jungkook surmises.

Back to the window he goes – except this time, there’s actually something to see.

There’s a child! A combination of nerves and excitement bubbles within him as he sees a kid in the backyard playing with the dog, throwing a Frisbee for the massive puppy to leap up and catch in its mouth. The kid looks a little…. feral. Like the baby from that one funny caveman movie he watched with his parents. They’re rolling around with the puppy, uncaring of the way grass and dirt get on their clothes and tangle their hair-- they laugh the whole time. It takes a second for the sound to reach him, but when it does it makes his heart do something funny in his chest.

Ah, the neighbour's kid is a girl.

It’s you.

Jungkook has always been a little more shy around girls, but has never known why. To meet you, he’s going to need his mother there for backup. This is probably the first time he’s outright wanted to go meet one of the neighbours. It’s a little embarrassing, so he elects not to think about it too much.

He thought he would have to pester his mother more to get up and go greet them, but it seems she’s a little sick of being in the house so much because she jumps up the second he mentions it. His baby brother is graciously asleep when they make the trip one morning to the house next door, nestled in his mothers arms looking like an angel wrapped up in fluffy clouds. Jungkook wonders if you’ll like his brother as much as he does. If you don’t, then he doesn’t know how good of a friend you’re going to be.

The doorbell is different, it’s the first thing he notices about the house. Your family must have changed it when you moved in. It’s a bubbly, fun tune now, and he doesn’t even realise the smile it brings to his face. His grip on his mother’s hand tightens, but he misses the fond look she casts over him.

When the door opens, Jungkook thinks his nerves just might eat him alive. He’s so stiff he’s worried he might turn to stone and disintegrate into dust on the spot.

It’s you who answered the door.

You don’t look as wild and unkempt as you did that day he saw you from the window. Actually, your hair is in two cute little buns on top of your head and there isn’t a spot of dirt or grime on your overalls.

The way your eyes light up when you see him and his mother, as well as the baby held to her chest, is enough to make him forget to breathe for a moment. When he remembers, he feels like running his head into the pole of the awning.

“Hey, sweetie,” his mother greets, that big smile on her face that normally wins everyone over. “We’re from the house next door! We wanted to come say hello and meet you. Are one of your parents home too?”

“Hello!” Your response is instant, and the smile you return is so big Jungkook can easily see the gap where you’re missing a tooth. It seems like you’re beating him, he hasn’t lost that one yet. “Yeah, my mama’s home-- you should come in! She said she wanted to meet you guys! Oh, also, we have a puppy! She’s big, and actually maybe she’s too old to be a puppy but… she’s cute. I want you to see her!”

You’re rambling, but you don’t seem to realise. Jungkook couldn’t get a word in edgewise if he wanted to, but he finds himself more than happy to simply listen as he and his mother follow you into the house.

Your mother isn’t as wild as you, but he notices the same little sparkle in her eyes that you have in yours. He wonders if he and his mother have their own matching sparkle. That would be cool.

Right away, his mother hits it off with yours – two socialites of a feather, it seems. You fawn over his baby brother for a few minutes while they talk (he knew right then that you were a good one), before grabbing him by the sleeve and insisting on showing him around. You get a full tour in, and miraculously Jungkook finds it in himself to ask a few questions as you go.

“S-so, you like it? Here?” Every time he opens his mouth the words don’t come out how he wants them, but he can’t do anything now. At least he only stuttered once.

“Yes! It’s so much better than my old house! There’s so many more kids here, and they’re all so nice too!” You’re more than happy to blabber on, a hand thoughtlessly carding through the long, fluffy fur on your dog’s back. Jungkook’s own hand is doing the same (the fur is just as soft and fluffy as he imagined). “There’s more room for Poopie to play, too.”

Jungkook still isn’t quite used to the name of your pet, but something more important in what you said is taking hold of his attention. “Wait, you, uh… you’ve met some of the other kids?”

“Yep,” you say, gaze off in the distance as you try to summon them all from your memory. “Not all of them, but some! Um, I think one of them is named…. Chanyeol…? He lives down the street. Then there’s-- …”

A queasy feeling fills his stomach. He thinks it might be disappointment. For some reason, he thought he was going to come in here and be the first kid you met, that he was going to tell you all about the complex, maybe show you down the street. If you turned out to be a real good egg, then he had even planned to show you his secret place. But now that he thinks about it, it’s a bit silly to think that none of the other families would have come to greet you by now. You’ve been here for more than a week, after all.

He had a good time when visiting you, but for some reason after that day, he finds himself hanging back a bit. He wants to go out and play with you and the other kids, but when he sees you getting along with them so well he’s reminded of that queasy feeling from that day and he stays inside. Which, oddly enough, makes him feel even worse. He feels like no matter what he does, he’s losing progress with you. Maybe you won’t even want to play with him at all, you might think he’s boring after having so much fun with the other kids.

“You gonna go out and play, Kookie?” his mother catches him staring out the living room window one afternoon. She’s bouncing his brother on her hip, the demon baby sated for the time being. “There’s still plenty of time before dark.”

“No, I’m okay,” he answers, hating himself a little bit for it. Why was it so hard to say that yes, he wanted to play, but also that he didn’t. He thinks his mother would be able to help, but he has no idea how to tell her his woes. “I think I might draw a little.”

“Okay, sweets.” She comes over and ruffles his hair. “But if you do decide to go out and play, just let me know so I know where you are, okay?”

He nods, and she leans to kiss his hair before wandering back into the depths of the house. Maybe he will do some drawing, he ponders. It might distract him from the sight of you getting along so well with all the other kids.

Jungkook’s strength has never lain in being outgoing. This proves itself over the months when his attempts to grow closer and befriend you turn out unsuccessful, without fail.

You’ve made a good space for yourself amongst the kids of the block. You’re nice, caring and understanding, and never mean – sure you pushed Chanyeol off the seesaw once, but that was because he was being mean to Suzie. He didn’t do it again afterwards, and peace was maintained in the playground in the park at the end of the complex. Your friendship is sought-after, and with the beginning of the school year looming so close he’s running out of time to establish a friendship between the two of you.

When he spends an afternoon riding his bike at the end of the street, looping around and through the park, it’s definitely not just because you’re sitting there with some of the other girls on the block. When he summons all the knowledge stored in his brain from watching those bike tournaments and attempts to do a little trick, it’s definitely not because he thinks you might be watching. If you happen to see and think he’s cool, then it is what it is. It’s not like he’s actually trying to impress you or anything.

It goes okay, for the most part. His legs are a little tired though. He probably shouldn't attempt the trick he’s thinking of next, but he swears he sees you glance his way and he feels a surge of confidence flow through him. He attempts it.

He botches it.

The bike clatters to the ground and he rolls a bit, but his knees take the brunt of his meeting with the concrete path.

Lucky he wasn’t trying to impress you, because that was pretty humiliating. Lucky you probably didn’t see, either. His knees burn and he feels tears prick at his eyes, probably not just from the pain. He feels so embarrassed, so dumb. He’s touched his bike five times since he got it for his birthday last year, why did he think he would be able to do awesome tricks on it? Dumb, so dumb. He flees the scene before anyone can notice what happened, and completely forgets his bike.

He’s made it all the way home before he even realises it, his vision blurred from the tears that just won’t stop falling and his knees still singing in pain each time he bends them. He almost goes inside, craving a hug from his mother and her gentle hands on his wounds, but then he realises she would ask what happened, and he doesn’t think he’ll be able to tell her. It’s too embarrassing. He’s so embarrassed.

So he bypasses the front door, going around the side and slipping through the gate. There’s a tree that lines the side of the house where his window is, and it’s so tall it reaches well above the roof. Without pause, he climbs it, hands finding familiar grooves. He halts, hissing at the sudden sting – it would seem he’s scraped up his palms, too. His eyes burn with the added humiliation and he darts up the tree, making quick work of the climb until he reaches his special spot.

The roof of his house is mostly slanted, but there’s a flat bit at the very top on one side of the house. This is where he likes to go. No one ever looks for him here, plus the view is always very pretty. He doesn’t appreciate the sunset right now, though. He feels like he doesn’t deserve it.

The whole way home, Jungkook held in his cries. He didn’t want anyone to hear and tell his mother. But now, in the embrace of his little ‘safe haven’, he lets them out. He buries his head in his arms and sobs, the pain of moving his palms only making it worse.

He doesn’t know how his little body can handle so much embarrassment, let alone so many tears, but for the moment he doesn’t think about it and surrenders himself to his woes.

He must be up there for a while before his crying ceases. By the time he lifts his head, the last of his tears drying against his cheeks, the sun is just beginning to disappear beyond the horizon. It’s pretty, how it casts light around the shadowy silhouette of the city buildings in the distance. He kind of wants to show it to you. That thought is quickly shut down. He’s going to ask his mother if they can move cities so he doesn’t have to face you again.

Alas, the world just doesn’t seem to be working in his favour today. He hears the rustling of the tree before he sees it. By the time he looks over to investigate, you’re already clambering onto the roof, an oversized fanny pack bursting at the seams with whatever you’ve shoved inside slung over your shoulder.

“Hey!” You greet with a smile, apparently oblivious to the dumbstruck look on his face. “Man, it took forever to find you! If I didn’t see you from the window in my room, I never would have known where you went!”

That was the idea, he laments. He hadn’t wanted to be found.

“Anyway,” you say, plopping down a foot away from him, safely away from the edge of the roof. You swing the fanny pack around so the zip is at your front, and rip it open. Immediately, a tsunami of bandages and band-aids flow forth, fluttering to the tile before you. They’re all sorts of different sizes, but one thing is common across them all – they all have pikachu’s face plastered on them in one way or another. “These are my special band-aids! My mama uses them when I hurt myself, and they always make it heal really quick! I didn’t know how big your owie is, so I brought them all.”

Jungkook is still stunned into silence as you sort through them, organising the chaos at least a little. One of your buns has come loose, he notes. One pigtail, one bun. You look a little more like that wild child he first saw from his window. The knees of your overalls are smeared with dirt, too. He wonders if it got like that while you were looking for him. It makes him feel a little warm inside.

And a little warm outside – his cheeks are starting to burn. He doesn’t remember scratching them too, but maybe he did…?

“Let’s see…” you’re practically just holding a conversation with yourself at this point. He surrenders his leg without protest as you grab it to inspect his knee. “Yep. That’s a big ‘un.”

His whole face has lit on fire. Even his ears feel hot. Is that normal? Probably not. He’d have to ask his mother to take him to the doctor. Maybe he’s dying.

He notices how close you are suddenly, realises this is the first time you’ve been fully alone together (without Poopie), and suddenly he can’t think. Like, at all. He may as well not have a tongue because he can’t remember how to use it anyway.

Somewhere amongst the bandages you’d shoved some tissues. You pull them out now, gently clearing the dirt away from the wounds on his knees. You’re talking as you do it, but his brain is full of static. Your hands are even tinier than his. Is that normal? Wait, no-- they’re the same size. What is he doing…?

Is he going to get in trouble for being alone with a girl…? His mother hasn’t told him about the birds and bees like she said she would yet-- is that what this is? Will he turn into a bird if he gets any warmer? Jungkook doesn’t want to be a bird.

You are placing large plasters over his knees when he finally tunes in to what you’re saying. “… -that last trick was pretty cool, too. It would have been even cooler if you didn’t fall.”

Jungkook squeaks, “You saw that?”

You nod, apparently unaware of his utter humiliation. “Yeah! You’re pretty good on a bike. Can you teach me sometime? I want to show my dad.”

He makes a noise that sounds enough like an affirmation that you accept it, a big grin on your face. For a few more minutes, you finish patching him up.

“There! All done!”

Pikachu stares back up at him from his knees, looking a little wonky because of their shape. The band-aids are a bit wrinkled, but you look so proud of yourself he forces himself to ignore it. He looks up, the words of thanks he took so much courage to summon dying on the tip of his tongue as he sees you.

The setting sun changes the colour of your eyes a bit – it’s pretty, he finds himself thinking. Immediately afterwards, he blushes. Even more embarrassingly, he finds himself unable to help but observe that the sun suits you, actually. Bright, persistent, a little bit sparkly. In the sun’s last reaching rays of afternoon light, you look a bit like you’re glowing.

Of course, Jungkook is used to his silence, but it seems you’re only just noticing it. You seem to misunderstand it’s cause. “Oh, do they hurt?”

Your words tear him from his reverie, and the startled look on his face doesn’t exactly help his case. “Oh, I’m sorry! I didn’t realise they were that bad-- oh! I almost forgot the next step! My mum always does this whenever I hurt myself.”

Then, without a second spared for him to prepare himself, you lean over and plant a kiss on each of his bandaged knees.

Jungkook thinks he might explode. The entire neighbourhood is going to see him take off and zip through the sky like a rocket. His earlier thoughts of moving cities and changing his name come back full force.

“There, they hurt less now, right?” But you’re still grinning, still bright as ever with shining eyes hoping for a certain response. Despite himself he takes a moment to assess the level of pain he’s feeling – oddly enough, it does feel a bit better.

There’s no way he can manage to say that, though.

Instead he nods, wide-eyed. You let loose a sigh of relief, muttering about how you didn’t know what you’d do if that didn’t work. He swears he catches the slightest warmth in your cheeks, but doesn’t know whether it’s a trick of the sun.

“Thanks,” he finally manages, his voice just shy of a whisper. You hear him anyway and flash that gap-tooth smile his way.

“Of course! This is what friends are for!”

You think of him as a friend? Jungkook can’t help the dumb smile that rises to his face. He likes that. Friends. As the two of you stay on the roof until moonlight begins to filter through the tree and your parents are calling your name, he thinks he’d like for things to stay that way.

He’d like to be friends with you. Always.

[prof-peach]

Hello, Prof. Peach! I'm a Porygon, using my Trainer's account to send this ask because you don't have anons set up. We'd like to visit your island sometime and maybe volunteer or donate things to help with your rehoming efforts; do we have to fill out a permit? I'm not worried about getting hurt because my Sirfetch'd friend will protect me, but what dangers could there be for a technological Pokémon like me? Would the wilder Pokémon know not to attack us? Thank you!

We love reading about what you do and would like to help if possible ❤️

You’ll be happy to know that we have an entire island set up exactly for this. We have regular trips to the space by schools, youngsters, hospitals, and travelling trainers alike. We take pride in being accessible to all, should you wish to make your way to us. The south of the island is entirely safe, we house friendly, hospitable pokemon here, so even when young kids come along and run, and scream, and pet them, or try to interact, it poses no threats to anyone. the pokemon chosen go through strict training, and we make sure to put out only the most gentle of species on the visitors side. if an issue arises, theres dedicated pokemon AND human staff around to help and intervene. We havent had more than a scraped knee here for 15 years now, least not without provocation. Speaking of, theres security in place to help keep theft down, and we ask no one to catch pokemon not within the islands dedicated “catch zone”. should someone try, they’re often captured and turned into myself, or one of the staff on duty at the time to answer for their rule breaking. 

We hold regular events and activities for people to get involved with, depending on the time of year. Our next event is a spring flower show and fate during April, we have folks coming in from Sinnoh to Judge a pokemon costume contest, with guest judge Wallace, who is taking time from his busy schedule to stop by for the event. People can enter with a simple form, on the day. Theres usually plenty of local vendors, food, trinkets, held items galore thanks to Professor Grey, and plenty of locations to explore and enjoy. We pair these events up with adoption drives for pokemon ready to find homes too, so should you know of anyone after a partner, its a good event to join in with, you get a chance to play, interact, and relax with a lot of hopeful pokemon, all scrubbed clean and ready for a big day of meeting lots of new people.  As for donations, we do take them, depending on what they're for, if they don’t suit our needs we advise the donee’s to give to a more suitable location who may need the stuff more than we do. For example we’re not REALLY an egg based location, so we send a lot of our donated hatching units to breeders and specialists who take in unwanted eggs, as they need that help more than us for the most part. 

We don’t keep unruly Electric pokemon, and have a Porygon-Z within our labs facilities who has gone unharmed for a long time (outside of battle of course). This is quite a safe environment for an individual to explore at their leisure, with many greenhouses, research labs, and interesting nooks and crannies to investigate. Theres one barn i would avoid but should you come to visit us, i’ll be very clear which one, as its full of the Joltic and Grubbin lines, who may cause you some concern in their large groups, but tend to stick to their areas and aren't unusually hostile if left alone. 

The only thing we ask is to stay off the North side of the Island, as it homes the biggest, meanest, generally unkind, shy, or difficult, pokemon who don’t like to be on centre stage like those on the southern side. Theres a perimeter fence, and very clear signposting all along it, to keep visitors clear, we also patrol pokemon teams along the fence line to keep things safe for everyone. We ask everyone leave the area well alone, as the species behind it are uncertain of most people, and will either flee or attack on sight, mostly attack if i’m being really honest with you haha. I’m sure you're somewhat familiar with our work, and we do take in the worst cases, and most aggressive and difficult species, so they can be troublesome when around others. 

Hopefully we see you real soon, we’re open pretty much every day, can’t be an island and not take in travellers off the ocean, boats run from Olivine too, should you want to approach from that direction. The special seasonal events are usually really fun and exciting, and you get to see the island at its peak functionality, so we hope you make it in time for one.

[smash-chu]

Updated the iceberg with some suggestions + more stuff i came across during research~ Might be doing a video to go along with it, cause it'd be fun (i have been capturing footage, so it'll likely end up happening :3 )

Explanations for each thing can be found below:

-Level 1-

The TV show - Some people’s first exposure to the franchise was the TV show, made to go alongside the games as a sort of advertisement. It was made by 4Kids and had a total of 2 seasons, starring the 4 main characters: Hudson Horstachio, Franklin Fizzlybear, Paulie Pretztail and Fergy Fudgehog.

Rare games easter eggs - There are plenty of easter eggs to other Rare games throughout Viva Piñata, the easiest ones to note are the broken arcade cabinets found in the first game as well as the various nods to Banjo Kazooie - such as the Bird and Bear statue, Mumbo statue, Breegull backpack and Bottle’s Glasses.

Stardos is Dastardos - The game never tells you this directly, but it’s an easy and obvious conclusion to make.

Twingersnaps and Fourheads - Without using a guide or looking it up you may actually be baffled on how to acquire these piñatas in game. There is no obvious hint in game to tell you to hit the Syrupent egg before it hatches on the third bounce, which means you either have to figure it out through experimentation or by looking it up.

Leafos False Rumors - Leafos is meant to give you good advice to help you out while you play the game if you talk to her, however not all information she gives is true. Some rumors include putting a Badgesicle in water will turn it into a Sweetooth, feeding a Doenut to a Pretztail turns it into a Mallowolf and so on. None of these actually work.

Piñatas aren’t permanently broken - When a piñata is broken it is magically repaired, at least when on Piñata island, reforming at the edge of a garden when broken at one. It is stated that piñatas are repaired after having been sent to parties, which would potentially mean that piñatas only magically repair themselves when on the island.

-Level 2-

The PC Port - Not very well advertised, there was a PC port released for the first Viva Piñata game. There are a couple of differences between the port and the original Xbox 360 release, which are touched upon later.

Piñatas are genderless - Technically no piñata is given a gender in game, all piñatas function the same. While in the show gendered piñatas are present it could potentially be that piñatas are naturally genderless and then if they are sapient can choose genders which fit their identity.

Burger king toys - A bundle of burger king exclusive plastic toys of piñatas were made and sold alongside the children's meals, some of the piñatas were Elephanilla, Sparrowmint, Goobaa and so forth. These toys are nowadays rare and sought after by people who collect the very small amount of official Viva Piñata merch that exists.

Wildcards - Wildcard piñatas are unique piñatas that have a feature which makes it stand out next to others of its species. There are a total of 3 variants of wildcards per piñata, some being exclusively gained through trading piñatas online. In the original game wildcards were extremely rare and there was only one variant, while they were made easier to acquire in TiP.

Both the games and show are canon - Just what it says, according to the creators both the games and show are canon to Viva Piñata lore. This makes for some strange implications, but that's for later.

TiP Fence Glitch / Exploit - A sort of well known glitch often used while playing Viva Piñata Trouble in Paradise. Fences normally do not stop Ruffians and Professor Pester from entering your garden, as they simply destroy them when they’re in the way. However, if arranged in a specific pattern in the area next to the volcano they enter from, the fence will make them permanently stuck. They will be stopped at the very edge of the garden at the fence, unable to properly enter or do anything. This can occur unintentionally as well in both the original game and TiP, as sometimes Ruffians and Professor Pester get stuck on seemingly random things and become unable to do anything.

Domesticated piñatas becoming un-domesticated - A strange difference between the original game and TiP is the fact that you can no longer buy domesticated piñatas from the Paper Pet’s store. Instead of being purchased they simply appear in the wild like any other wild piñata, whether this implies that these piñatas are no longer considered domesticated or is just a game design choice is unclear.

Jardinero and his family - In game a big part of the npc cast are Jardinero and his children, Leafos, Seedos, Storkos and Dastardos. They all play important roles in terms of the game mechanics, but also have their own stories which can be read about in the journal. The journal also mentions the character Mother, which is Jardineros wife and mother of their children. She is a seafaring adventurer that occasionally came to visit Piñata Island to see her husband and kids.

-Level 3-

Dastardos ghost theory - Because of Dastardos more ghostly abilities, such as floating around, being able to go through objects and not being recognized by his family, it is theorized he may either be undead or a ghost. The entry for the Dastardos shovelhead also implies this, calling him “untouchable” and only thanks to lining up to his frequency can the shovel hit him. This theory kind of makes the fact that Professor Pester being responsible for this even more messed up.

Extended / full version of Horstachio commercial - One of the more famous pieces of commercials to advertise the first game was the one featuring Hudson Horstachio, about to be broken by a couple of kids, that he offers a bunch of outlandish things to to convince them to let him down. There are apparently some different versions of the commercial which feature different things being offered, with a full uncut version that has all the offers in it.

Piñata cards - In Viva Piñata Trouble in Paradise there is a function which is called Piñata Vision, which utilizes the Xbox Live Vision camera. By scanning the card you can get the piñata or item displayed on the card, some of these cards feature the developers in the form of a piñata and characters from other games.

Language Dubs - The PC port of the original game has a lot of language dubs, translated into languages such as Dutch, Swedish, Spanish, Chinese and more. Some of these do not extend to the UI oddly enough, while for the majority of translations all of the game’s features are translated accordingly, with the exception of piñata names. The language chosen is determined by the language set for the computer, so if you want the game in a specific language you’d need to change the language of the computer before installing it.

PC port graphical downgrades - Oddly enough the PC port has some graphical differences compared to the original Xbox 360 release. Mostly the graphics being downgraded, even on the highest settings, such as the lighting and texture resolution on objects and the environment.

Miss Petula’s neglectful parents - The npc that runs the Paper Pet’s store is Miss Petula, who often lets the player know she’s not very enthusiastic about her job. Mostly because her parents have left the store in her care, and don’t seem to communicate with their daughter much aside from grounding her, as she mentions it in her dialogue. In one of her dialogue lines when the player leaves the shop she ponders running away from home.

Accessories graphical glitches - Some accessories have graphical glitches associated with them, such as missing pieces or being misaligned on the model during certain animations. Examples of this is the ribbon being missing when a Ponocky wears a tail ribbon (in the PC version), or goggles on Chippopotamus not moving properly when their mouth is opened.

Some piñatas are sapient, others not - Because of the fact that both the show and games are canon makes some things kind of weird. Though even if the show wasn’t canon this would still be a thing - as thanks to the existence of Langston and some of the show characters appearing in the DS game. Most piñatas in the games act like animals and cannot speak, however in the show and with Langston they are very much as sapient as a human. What causes a piñata of the same species to be sapient or not? Why does no character in the game acknowledge this strange difference? We don’t know.

Magic is real - In the Viva Piñata universe, at least on Piñata Island, magic exists. Seen in the form of Leafos and Jardinero summoning items, Bart transforming items into other things, Seedos and other characters teleporting and both Dastardos and Storkos being able to fly. There are other examples of magic, nobody really explains why magic exists or to what extent it is used or capable of being, but simply something that is commonplace on Piñata Island. If magic exists in other places is unknown.

The DS game - Known as Viva Piñata Pocket Paradise, the DS game came out after both the original game and TiP. It features a mix of piñatas from both the other games, however not all of them, because of the limitations of being on the DS. It is pretty much just another Viva Piñata game where you tend to a garden, now using the touchscreen to use your tools and so on.

How the fuck does the family not recognize Dastardos as Stardos - A strange phenomenon considering at least Jardinero considers Dastardos familiar and so does Leafos to an extent (he is in the "family members" part of the journal after all), but apparently none of the other family members have been able to figure out that Dastardos is in fact Stardos. Whether this is them just being very oblivious or not it’s still sad that they can’t even recognize their own family member after being corrupted. This is also even more strange considering Dastardos lives literally across the garden from his family, how have they not been able to tell by now? Though, if the ghost theory is considered, maybe it’s understandable why they have such a hard time recognizing him.

-Level 4-

Langston taking over the position of authority in piñata central from Jeffe - Apparently Jeffe used to be in charge of the piñata central and was later kicked off his position and replaced by Langston, this is to reflect how Jeffe was originally planned as the head of the piñata central before being replaced by Langston as influenced by the show. Why he was kicked off his position is uncertain, but theorized to be because of the fact that he turned into a piñata or half piñata from ingesting too much candy - though why this would influence him being kicked off i’m not sure. Maybe he abused the central for his own gain?

“They all wear masks, some are just more elaborate than others” - A statement from a developer when asked about the masks worn by the humanoid characters in the games, whether they’re their actual heads or some kinda mask. This was meant to clarify that all the human characters are fully human, however it still leaves some things unanswered - such as if they are masks then why can we not see Fannie Franker’s face inside the mailbox on her head? Or what does that entail for the Ruffians whose bodies are pretty much completely covered in their masks.

Squazzils name debate - A reference to how in game Leafos mentions that the name for the Squazzil was debated before you, the player, arrived at the island. Being apparently called Nonsquirrel as they were trying to figure out a name for the species. Whether this is true or not is uncertain, as Leafos does state untrue rumors sometimes.

The side characters in P-Factor - P-Factor is a minigame in TiP that is you showing off your piñata in a contest against other players or npcs. This minigame features both already existing npcs, such Leafos for example, as well as some made exclusively for the minigames. Some of these npcs include Maxime, Babochka, Nana Urf and more. They also make an appearance in the Great Piñata Paperchase minigame, however they are much more prominently presented in the P-Factor minigame.

Unknown blue flower - There is a blue flower which appears outside of the garden space as a decoration in the original game. This blue flower is not a flower which appears anywhere else, and cannot be planted in the garden either. Most of the flowers and trees found outside the garden space are plants that are available for the player, but this one flower is unique in that it isn’t part of those plants.

Leafos might be a lesbian - As it is very much implied that Leafos is the one who writes the entries for the items, objects, characters and piñatas in the journal one can glean interesting information and thoughts about Leafos. In the entry for the Pink Flutterscotch there is the sentence “A girl (that I may or may not have liked) once told me that the Pink Flutterscotch reminded her of a kiss.” Some people take this as an implication that Leafos may be a lesbian and or bi, which i personally think would be neat.

Viva Piñata Party Animals - A party game that stars the main cast of the tv show, it features a lot of different minigames and a mario kart-like racing minigame, kinda being a mix between mario party and mario kart except piñata themed. It’s very different from the other games in the series and has a lot of locations and items not featured in the other games as well.

Unused piñata concepts - There are plenty of piñatas that never made it into any of the games, as one would expect. Examples of piñatas that never appear in the game but had concepts made for them are a Giraffe, a Platypus that would’ve been acquired by breeding a Quackberry and Sweetooth together, a Hammerhead shark with a sour form and a Kangaroo. A goldfish piñata was also part of concepts, however this piñata does appear in the game - as the fish in the bowl on Miss Petulas head.

Ivor in the wishing well - In TiP Ivor Bargain is strangely missing, with the items he used to sell now being purchasable at Cost’o’lots. Ivor can however be found residing at the bottom of the wishing well object, which you can purchase after playing through the credits sequence. By donating chocolate coins you can get him to speak and throw items from the well depending on what amount you throw in. It is hinted that Lottie was the one who pushed Ivor into the well, likely because she doesn’t want competition selling items to the local gardeners.

-Level 5-

Banjo Kazooie Mountains - One of the rarer (hah) easter eggs to spot in the original game, in the distance across the swamp where Seedos lives one can see a mountain which has Banjo and Kazooie carved into the mountain. This is much easier to see in the Xbox 360 version compared to the PC port, because of the higher resolution textures.

Silent piñatas - Every piñata is voice acted, or are they? One might notice that there are two, well technically eleven, piñatas that are completely silent. The Flutterscotches and Mothdrops are fully silent, not making any noise. Why this is is uncertain, as other bug piñatas do have noises, such as the Taffly and Sweetle. It may be because normally no noise is associated with butterflies or moths in real life, or it may be because these piñatas are meant to be more akin to decorational than a “proper” piñata.

Dragonache flying away glitch - A glitch which is easily done in game, by making the dragonache engage in a fight with another piñata and using the menu to send it off from the garden. By opening the fighting view, which can be accessed to monitor the fight separate from the normal camera view, it will focus in on the two piñatas. The camera will become strange as the Dragonache flies away from the garden, letting you see out of bounds and see details otherwise obscured by things in the background around the garden. I recommend doing this after having done at least one mandatory fight beforehand, as you are forced to watch the first fight that occurs and will unable to do anything till it is finished. Thus if you do this glitch while forced to watch it you will be unable to access the rest of your garden for quite some time.

Giant Zumbug glitch - Not certain if a glitch or hack, there have been reports of a giant Zumbug in TiP which is acquired through unknown means. This giant Zumbug can be sent through the Xbox Live service, but more than that is not known.

Professor Pester is legit evil and fucked up - Even though he’s presented in the show as a bumbling idiot of a villain, he has done a lot of fucked up shit. Not only does he employ Ruffians to mess up other people’s gardens, including Jardinero’s garden, he is also the reason why sour piñatas exist. Making a sour goop which is used for creating sour candy, it is a candy which makes anyone who eats it sick and possibly corrupts them - this is evident in how he corrupted Stardos by giving him sour candy. He may have rather bland goals as a villain, simply wanting complete control of the piñata island and its piñatas, but he’s done some pretty messed up stuff to try and accomplish this goal.

Extra color variants - All piñatas, except for the Flutterscotches, have three color variants that can be acquired by feeding the piñata specific things. However, there are piñatas that have more variants than others, through being caught in the Pinartic or Dessert Desert, and then feeding those the same things. This will cause them to gain a different tint of color compared to their normal counterparts, as thanks to having a different default color because of being from a different region.

Money and Piñata duplication glitch - It is possible to duplicate money and piñatas by abusing the post office, by editing the contents of the boxes being mailed while they are shipped off. This can be used to quickly acquire master romance rewards and cut down on time spent making chocolate coins the normal way. This glitch appears to be the easiest to do in TiP, compared to the first game.

Giant and tiny seeds - You can gain a plethora of things from the mine, which includes seeds. Sometimes when the mine uncovers seeds there is a chance for the seed to either be bigger or smaller than normal, these seeds work exactly like their normal sized versions, but sell for different prices. The size difference can vary wildly, with really big seeds and incredibly tiny seeds that are hard to see.

Ivor has two mouths - Something that may be easily missed, but Ivor Bargain does as a matter of fact have two mouths. One for each “face” he has, for when he’s a beggar and a merchant, he can flip between the two by spinning his head, flipping his head up or down. This is a little freaky, and completely glanced over in game, left unexplained why he has two mouths or can flip his head upside down with no consequences.

Leafos is vegan - A very recent thing which has been observed through the rare cookbook that has been released, which features an array of rare game inspired recipes. Recipes which are vegan or vegan friendly are marked with “Leafos vegan approved”, which implies that Leafos is vegan.

Fudgehog cutscene - On certain days of the month a different cutscene will play during the opening of the first game on Xbox 360 and PC, replacing the normal Horstachio cutscene. Instead it is a Fudgehog being broken to reveal the rare logo, though there is a bug in the PC port that makes the Fudgehog cutscene not play.

Pudgeon romance dance - An oddity among the rest of the romance dances is the Pudgeon romance dance, which is the only piñata to actually wear the required accessories needed for romancing in the romance dance cutscene.

-Level 6-

Mousemallow sounds - The Mousemallow makes interesting noises, which may seem strange for a mouse, as they aren’t squeaks. They go “chu” because the developer voicing them is from Japan, where mice are vocalized as going “chu” instead of squeak.

Cut baby piñatas - Originally piñata babies were meant to look different from their adult counterparts, instead of just being smaller. However because of time constraints this was cut.

Humans can become piñatas rumor - In game this is presented in TiP with Jeffe, which is a human piñata or a half human half piñata, he states “If you eat enough candy and pull a face in the wind you'll become a piñata, I never want to see another piece of candy let alone a piñata full of it.” as part of dialogue during P-Factor. We cannot confirm whether this is actually true or not, but if Jeffe’s statement is true then it would imply that humans can turn into piñatas. This in turn creates a lot of questions, such as why does this happen? Has this happened to people outside of Piñata Island? Is this something exclusive to just the island or candy from the living piñatas? Can this happen with animals as well?

Tamed sour piñatas reverting via mail - A gameplay mechanic which is not commonly seen is the fact that tamed sour piñatas can revert back to a sour state. This occurs when you send a tamed sour piñata to a player which hasn’t unlocked the tamed version of that piñata, when the piñata is taken out of its mailed box it will be the sour version. This happens in all the main games, including Pocket Paradise as well.

Pitch black piñata variants - A once exclusive variant available through Piñata Vision cards, it turns a piñata completely black, even sour piñatas. This can be acquired without the use of cards through things like hacking or modifying the game’s files.

Piñata meat - Something mentioned in the journal and seen in the form of some piñatas attacking projectiles, eating piñatas in the form of eating their “meat” is apparently a normal thing on Piñata Island. Examples of this are the journal entries for Cluckles and Arocknids, which mention eating Cluckle legs, as well as the projectiles of Cluckles and Goobaa being chicken legs and mutton chops. It is also mentioned in in-game dialogue that Storkos eats piñata eggs if unable to deliver them, and other piñatas do consume piñata eggs. Are thus piñatas edible beyond just their candy? Or are the residents on Piñata Island cooking and eating paper mache animal parts and acting like that’s not weird?

Family mode - A mode found in the original game and TiP, which allows two people to play at the same time using two controllers. Simply done by connecting a second controller while playing the game, it’s originally meant for parents to be able to help their kids while they play without having to disturb the gameplay. This mode can be used to give yourself an edge in the early stages of the game in TiP, as the second controller will have the best tools available right away and is capable of things the first controller cannot, like filling a piñatas candiosity by performing tasks.

Dastardos and Seedos special interaction - When you’ve beaten up Seedos and gotten him on his bad side he’ll start to chuck weed seeds into your garden, and has a special interaction with Dastardos if both of them are in the garden while he is in his upset state. When Seedos has thrown a weed seed, the two of them will turn to face each other and do their laughing animation, presumably because both of them enjoy the chaos. Or maybe they have that slight family connection still? It’s rather sad though that Seedos only acknowledges his brother at all when he’s angry and upset.

-Level 7-

Viva Piñata Candy Stash - There are a few piñata games which aren’t widely known, for example this Adobe Flash tower defense game developed and published by 4Kids TV, known as Viva Piñata Candy Stash. This game features Professor Pester trying to steal the player’s candy using Ruffian robots, and to stop him the player builds towers invented by piñata characters from the tv show.

Petting piñatas - Exclusive to Pocket Paradise, you can pet your piñatas which makes them happy. Different piñatas like to be pet differently, and if petted the wrong way it won’t increase their happiness.

No 100% reward in first game - Both Viva Piñata Trouble in Paradise and Viva Piñata Pocket Paradise have a reward / reward screen for completing the game fully, by getting all the available rewards for the piñatas and plants. However, there is no proper completion reward in the original first game, there are rewards for various milestones but none for completing everything.

Piñata mascot suits - As part of promotions and promotional material there exists mascot suits of some piñatas, such as the Horstachio, Pretztail and Fudgehog. Whether these suits are kept in storage somewhere or have been thrown away we do not know.

Ruffians helping Helpers - Unless you mess with your helpers just for fun, you’re unlikely to ever see this happen. When a helper of any kind is stuck because of a fence or being surrounded by objects, they will constantly keep telling you they’re stuck. If you let them stay stuck for long enough a Ruffian will spawn in, no matter if you have a Captain’s Cutlass or not in your garden, that you cannot interact with. They will wander over to the helper and free them by destroying the object that’s in the way. Leafos will then berate you with a notification, saying “Shame on you!” for being such a jerk to your helper, and that the Ruffian and helper are running off; the helper leaving permanently.

Ruffians speaking - Ruffians normally do not speak, only making various grunts, but do have dialogue seen in Pocket Paradise.

-Honorable Mentions-

Miss Petula’s cat eyes - Miss Petula has a strange animation in game where her eyes go from having rounded pupils to having slitted, cat-like pupils. This is likely because of her cat theme, but is still strange considering she’s supposed to be a human.

Rare variant of logo cutscene - There is a version of the rare logo reveal cutscene played when opening the game, that features the rare logo itself exploding with candy. This is played in certain versions of the game, likely because of the fact that both the Fudgehog and Horstachio cutscenes feature a sort of dismemberment via them being smashed into bits which can be seen as inappropriate in certain regions.

All the shops have slot machines - A strange detail is that all the shopping menus are made out of slot machines, which might seem odd since slot machines usually have nothing to do with shops or making purchases, more so being related to gambling.

Unidentified voice actors - A lot of the voices provided for the games go unnamed in the credits, however we do know most of the piñata voices are members of the staff and developers. The missing voice actors for the npcs are listed as “Voices provided by 4Kids” with no names attached.

[caitlesshea]

build your heart a home

For the Roswell, New Mexico Big Bang @rnmbb

Tripp gives Arturo more than money that fateful day in 1987 and it changes everything. It’s the start of a new life; with three pods, three aliens, and three children. 

Or

What would’ve happened if Arturo adopted Michael.

TW: Mentions of Jesse Manes & Caulfield. 

Thank you @manesguerin for the most amazing gifset, check it out here!

1987 

Arturo Ortecho pockets the cash that Tripp Manes hands to him and is about to bring some dirty dishes back into the kitchen when a hand falls on his arm.

“Sir?” Arturo asks Tripp as he waits for the older man to speak. 

“Is there somewhere we can talk Arturo?” Tripp glances back at the table he was sitting at with Jesse Manes and Arturo nods his head. 

Tripp follows him through the kitchen and outside to the back of the diner. Arturo paces on the pavement as he waits for Tripp to speak. 

After a moment Arturo gets impatient. “Here, sir.” Arturo tries to hand the money back to Tripp but he just shakes his head.

“No, son. That’s for you.”

“Then why?”

“I need to tell you something. Something you’re not going to understand but I need you to believe me.”

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

“Whatever it is sir, I’ll listen.”

~~~ 

“Woah.” Arturo looks at the three pods with small children floating in them and then back to Tripp. “You weren’t lying.”

“I wish I was,” Tripp says quietly as he goes up to the pod with a young curly haired boy in it. Tripp places his hand on the pod and then grabs the necklaces he’s wearing and takes them off.

“What?”

“The crash in 1947 was real.”

“So they’re?”

“Aliens. Yes.”

“I don’t understand.”

“A woman I was...she was his mother.” 

Arturo watches as he rubs the pod softly, almost like he’s petting it.

“This necklace was hers from before the crash. These are my dog tags.”

“Sir, I can’t take - ”

“You must. You’ll know who to give them to one day.”

“Why not tell Jesse, or someone else?”

“It has to be you. I can’t explain it, but Arturo, promise me. Promise me you won’t let anything happen to them?”

“Sir.”

“Promise me.”

“I promise.” 

1997 

“Why’s it have to be so cold at night?” Walt complains and Arturo shushes him. 

“Stop complaining.”

Arturo gets a gruff sigh in response and Arturo shakes his head. 

“He could’ve given you a time,” Walt mumbles and Arturo walks further into the cave. 

It’s been a while since he’s seen the trio, he and Walt take turns to visit them to avoid suspicion. It’s just after midnight on June 14th, the date seared into his memory from Tripp’s talk ten years ago. 

“Woah,” Walt says as they come up to the pods and Arturo has to agree. Normally the trio is floating peacefully in their suspension, unmoving on their own, but now they’re moving and stretching against the pods like they’re trying to escape. 

“No.” Arturo stops Walt as he tries to help them. “Tripp was adamant they’ll come out of them on their own.”

“Fine.” 

Arturo watches in fascination as the trio breaks free from their pods, all wobbly on their legs like a baby colt.

“It’s okay,” Arturo speaks softly and holds up the blankets. 

The three of them eye him wearily but the young girl walks forward and takes the blanket. The other two seem to sense it’s okay and allow him and Walt to wrap them up in blankets long enough for Arturo to get them into the car and into pajamas.

“Did he say they wouldn’t speak?” Walt asks Arturo as they drive back to the diner.

“All he said was that they might not, and that they wouldn’t have any memories without someone from their planet there to help them out of stasis.”

Arturo looks in the rear view mirror at the three of them huddled together. 

“Great.”

~~~

“Arturo, you can’t take in all three of them.” Arturo looks over at Mimi, who had agreed to watch Rosa and Liz tonight since Helena had taken off a week ago.

“I have to do something.” 

Arturo looks over at his daughters Liz and Rosa, Mimi’s daughter Maria, and their friend Alex, who joined the sleepover and how they’re making the three alien kids more comfortable. 

“At least the curly haired one,” Walt says gruffly around a bite of his hamburger.

“Well it certainly can’t be the other two.” Arturo turns toward Mimi and raises an eyebrow.

“Look.” Mimi points to the way the kids have each grabbed the hands of one alien. Rosa comforting the young girl, Liz comforting one of the boys, and Alex comforting the other boy, the one with the curly hair.

“You don’t think?”

“He said it was possible.” 

“I’m going to call Michelle.” 

~~~

“You can’t be serious?” 

Arturo looks sharply at Michelle and suppresses the urge to roll his eyes. 

“We can’t just put them in the Group Home.” 

“You can’t take all three. What about Helena?”

This time Arturo does scoff. “She won’t be an issue.” 

Michelle looks at him then and he swears she knows the truth about Helena and her husband Jim, but he doesn’t dwell on it now.

“I can take the boy.” 

“The one with the curly hair,” Walt pipes up from his seat and Arturo nods. 

“I can’t take the other two,” Mimi says even as she eyes the young girl, something familiar in her gaze. 

“We can’t split them up. Look at them.” Arturo gestures to where the other two are huddled together even as his girls sit next to them. 

“The Evans’ are looking to adopt…” Michelle trails off and Arturo looks at her sharply.

“You think they’d take them both?”

“It’s worth a shot.”

“We’d have to tell them.” Mimi says from her seat.

“We can’t just…”

“We’d have to tell them Michelle. It’s the only way to ensure the kids' safety.”

“Jim can’t know.” Mimi reminds everyone and they all nod solemnly. “If Jesse…”

“Jesse will never know.” Arturo says with a conviction he doesn’t feel about Alex’s father, Tripp’s nephew.

“But Alex…” Walt nods his head to wear Alex is curled up with the curly haired alien and Arturo shakes his head.

“We cross that bridge when we come to it.” 

“They need names.” 

“Michael.” Mimi points to the curly haired boy. “Isobel, Max.”

“That just came to you?” Michelle eyes Mimi skeptically. 

Mimi shrugs unapologetically.

~~~

“So, not only are you telling me aliens are real, and the crash in forty seven was real, but these three just hatched out of eggs tonight and you want us to adopt two of them?” Ann Evans asks as she stares at all of them incredulously.

“Well when you put it that way…” Walt mutters and Ann turns her gaze to him sharply. 

Arturo sighs, well aware of how Ann feels about Walt, and himself if he’s being honest, but right now his biggest concern is the trio.  

“Pods.” Arturo pinches the bridge of his nose. “They’re called pods.”

“Whatever.” Ann looks over at Max and Isobel and smiles slightly.

“They are cute.” Phil Evans, who has been quiet since they arrived, mutters as he stares at the kids.

“Okay.” 

Arturo looks up at Ann and Phil, not quite sure he understood her and she sighs. 

“We’ll take them.”

“You understand…” Michelle trails off.

“Yes. Don’t tell Jim, don’t tell Jesse. Call the second they start showing any powers. They’ll learn English if we keep communicating with them and they like music.” Ann lists all of the things they’ve mentioned since they’ve arrived.

“Look. We aren’t taking them away. They’ll always live here, near the boy. If you’re saying they’d be in danger if they went elsewhere then I believe you.” 

Arturo nods, not entirely satisfied but willing to accept the circumstances.

“It’s fine by me. I have a friend who can do the paperwork quietly.” Michelle reluctantly agrees and Arturo looks at Walt and Mimi.

“What? I just wanted the boy safe.”

“He will be,” Arturo says with a conviction he doesn’t necessarily agree with.

“Mimi?” 

“I see no other way.” 

“Then it’s settled.”

2004 

“Papi!” 

Arturo hears Michael shout from upstairs and he runs up, out of breath as he stares at Michael wide-eyed.

“Mijo? Are you okay?”

“They’re floating.” Michael exclaims excitedly and Arturo sees some of Michael’s figurines floating in the air. 

Arturo watches as Michael uses his hand to manipulate the toys until suddenly he falls down and grabs his stomach. 

“Mijo.” 

“I’m gonna be sick,” Michael says just as Arturo grabs his trash can, thankful it’s close by, as Michael empties his stomach. 

“Okay. I think we need to call Mimi.”

~~~

“The acetone will help,” Mimi says as Michael sips it slowly. 

“It’s poison.” Arturo tries to take it away but Mimi is quicker.

“Not for them.” Arturo watches as Michael drinks it straight from the bottle and smiles. 

“It’s a pain reliever.” 

“Okay. So I just keep it handy in case things start floating?!” 

“Papi,” Michael says quietly as he moves closer in his chair. “I can practice at home, when no one else is around, so I’m able to control it.”

“That’s probably for the best. I don’t have enough of the pollen, and if it’s controlled he should be okay.”

“Should be?”

“What pollen?”

Mimi turns sharply to look at him and Arturo shrinks under her gaze. 

“You never told him?”

“Don’t look at me like that! The Evans’ haven’t said anything either.”

“Well, we better call them.”

~~~

“We can’t just take away their powers.” Arturo looks over to where the kids are all watching tv and sighs. 

“Look, Isobel’s starting to get visions, things she can manipulate.” Ann looks pointedly at Mimi as Mimi smirks. 

“Well, she’s my Aunt, so…”

“I thought we said we weren’t going to tell them,” Ann hisses at Mimi and Mimi shrugs. 

“We aren’t. Not until they’re older.” Arturo tries to placate them while Mimi and Ann glare at each other. 

“Max is showing signs of electro manipulation.” 

“Tripp did say someone could shoot fire out of their hands.” Arturo reminds them all quietly. 

“Great.” Ann rubs her forehead. “Well, right now he’s just shorting out our light bulbs.” 

“If we give them a safe space to practice then maybe they won’t accidentally use them around others and at school?” Arturo suggests and both Mimi and Ann nod.

“As long as they never get caught it’s fine by me.”

“We’ll just need to explain some ground rules.” 

Arturo doesn’t want to set the ground rules. He doesn’t want to hinder what is a natural part of them, but he knows deep down that it’s for their safety. He could never live with himself if he allowed something to happen to the three of them for his own carelessness in keeping them safe. 

“They won’t like it.” Mimi warns.

“It’s for their safety. I’ll help them understand.”

~~~ 

“Papi?”

“Yes, Mijo?” Arturo finishes tucking Michael in and sits down on the edge of his bed. 

“Am I in trouble?”

“No. Of course not. You just need to be careful about when and how you use your powers, okay?”

“Okay.” 

Arturo sees Michael bite his lips and he soothes it with his hand. “Just practice here at home with your sisters and with Max and Isobel and you’ll be okay.”

“And Alex?”

Arturo smiles at the mention of Michael’s other half even if neither boy has realized it yet. They’re always together, Alex spending the night more often than not any chance Arturo can get to pry Alex out of his terrible home.

“Yes, Mijo. With Alex, too.” 

Michael smiles so bright, his love for Alex clearly shining through, even at fourteen. 

It makes Arturo’s heart swell when he thinks of all of his kids and how they have their own alien and how lucky they all are. 

2008 

“It’s not fair and you know it!” 

Arturo pauses making dinner for a moment as he hears Liz yelling at Michael, presumably. Rosa is downstairs in the diner and he knows Alex and Michael are in Michael’s room, with the door open now. 

That was a fun development. Arturo had known they had made changes to their relationship, but it’s one thing to know, and another to see. 

“It’s not my fault I’m smarter than you, Lizzie.”

Arturo groans. Whoever told him raising three teenagers at the same time would be a good idea is a fool.

“Mikey!”

At the sound of nicknames that neither of his kids like he walks calmly into Michael’s room and sees Michael laying back against his bed with a guitar in his hand and Alex next to him writing in a notebook while Liz stands at the foot of the bed not so silently fuming. 

“Mijos? What is the meaning of this?”

“He didn’t study at all for our chemistry test and he still did better than me!” Liz screeches at a volume that is honestly impressive and Arturo rolls his eyes discreetly but not before Alex notices and smiles. 

“Mija, did he cheat on the test?”

“What? No.”

“Then you can’t be upset with him.”

“But, no!” Liz sulks while Michael laughs and Arturo turns a sharp glare onto him and he rightly sits back quietly.

“Mija, why don’t you go down and get your sister and Michael and Alex can set the table for dinner and maybe you can study together for the next test?”

“Ugh, fine!”

Liz stomps out of the room and Michael and Alex follow him to the kitchen. He notices that Alex’s eye has some form of makeup on it, probably covering a bruise. 

Jesse Manes, that son of a bitch. 

More than once he’s wanted to beg Michelle and Jim to take Alex away, and let him come stay with him. He doesn’t know how he’d manage, but he would, if he never has to see this wonderful boy with bruises on his skin.

“Mijo. Take these.” Arturo hands Alex some frozen peas and for a moment he freezes but then looks grateful. Even though Arturo has been helping him for years and he knows Rosa and Liz have both helped with the makeup it breaks his heart that Alex still feels like he can’t accept the help. 

“Thank you.”

“Help Michael set the table.” Arturo goes back to finish dinner but not before he notices Michael gingerly placing the peas against Alex’s eye as he leans in to kiss him. 

Arturo turns away to give them some privacy and just as he finishes pulling dinner out of the oven he hears Liz’s shout.

“Are you kidding me?! Papi!” 

“What, Mija?”

Arturo turns around and he can’t help it, he laughs at Michael using his powers to set the table while he kisses Alex. 

Teenagers. 

~~~

“I’m not ready for this,” Arturo mumbles as he watches Liz and Michael pack up the rest of their rooms so that they can move off to college. Michael is going to the University of New Mexico and Liz to UCLA. Rosa got into an art program and is still living at home, so at least it’s not all of his kids, but it still hurts.

“I’m not going far, Papi.” Michael soothes as he comes to stand next to him. Michael’s been vibrating with excitement since he got a full ride to UNM and has been floating on cloud nine since Alex announced he was also going to UNM, to absolutely no one's surprise. 

“I know.” Arturo waits for Alex to finish packing up the last box and he gestures them both into the living room. “I have something to give you both.”

“What is it?”

“Just sit, I’ll be right back.” Arturo walks into his room and grabs the box that holds the journal Tripp wrote for whichever Manes man fell in love with an alien after he did.

“Papi?” Michael asks curiously as he eyes the box Arturo is holding. Arturo takes a deep breath and hands Michael the box as he watches them open it.

“A journal?” Alex asks as he opens it and turns it over in his hands. 

“It was given to me by your great uncle, Tripp.” Arturo points to the journal as Alex and Michael both gasp. 

They pull a photograph out of the journal of a young Tripp Manes with Nora Truman and Louise Truman.

“The man is Tripp Manes, the two women with him are Nora and Louise Truman.”

“Are they?” Michael’s voice breaks and Arturo nods.

“Nora is your mother. Louise is Isobel’s. I’m sure Mimi is telling Isobel everything that happened with their own family history, just as I’ve been charged with telling you yours.”

“Their own?”

“Mimi’s mother is Isobel’s half sister. Tripp was able to bring Louise to the reservation where your mom is from, Alex.” 

“My family?”

“It’s how Jesse met your mother. Tripp tried to save Nora.” Michael’s breath catches but Arturo continues. “He wasn’t able to, and I’m sorry to say that she ended up passing in ninety seven, just as Louise did when you all hatched from the pods.”

Arturo hates the broken look on his son's face. Like he betrayed him. He hates it. 

All of the conversations and arguments over the years with Mimi, Michelle, and Ann sit at the forefront of his mind and how he should’ve fought harder for Michael. 

That they should’ve told them the truth sooner, knowing his son would’ve wanted to know, even if it was hard. 

Arturo thinks back to seven year old Michael, who was scared and crying when Ann and Phil took Max and Isobel away. Who wouldn’t let Alex’s hand go and wouldn’t sleep unless Arturo stayed in the room with them. 

He thinks back to all the nightmares Michael has had, of a planet long forgotten but still coming back to him. He thinks of the language on the ship console piece Michael found when he was fourteen and how he’s been trying to decipher it ever since. 

He thinks about how Michael is looking at him like he doesn’t know him. Arturo knows he needs to give Michael space. Knows him well enough to know that Alex will be spending the night and the door will remain closed as Alex whispers sweet nothings into his hair. It’s the least Arturo can do. 

“You can’t...why didn’t...you didn’t tell me!” Michael stands and screams in frustration and Arturo’s heart breaks for him, for Isobel, for Max, for all of them.

“Mijo.” 

“No!” Michael falls into him and Arturo pulls him into a hug and let's Michael cry into his shoulder as Alex rubs his back.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. I didn’t know how.”

“I want to see her, wherever they’re resting.”

Arturo doesn’t know where Nora’s final resting place is, somewhere in Caulfield, no doubt, which he’ll have to also explain to Michael someday. But he knows where Louise’s is, and he knows Nora has a place there as well. 

It was one thing Tripp had been sure to tell him, one thing he wanted to make sure Arturo had understood. Wherever Louise was, Nora wasn’t far, and wherever they both ended up they would want to be together. 

“Okay Mijo, we’ll go.” 

~~~

Arturo is glad they went out to the reservation. It gave Alex a chance to see his mom and it gave Michael, Isobel, and Max more insight to their families and histories. He knows it won’t settle Michael’s curiosity. He also knows that they all want to find out more about Max’s family, as well.

But for now, his son gets to be a college freshman sharing an off-campus apartment with his boyfriend. 

Arturo is not ready to say goodbye. 

“Papi, they’ll be fine,” Liz says as she settles into his side. They head to California next to drop her off and he’s barely holding it together. 

“I know, Mija.” 

“Papi!” Alex shouts from his and Michael’s bedroom and Liz laughs as he goes to investigate.

“What, Mijo?”

“Tell Michael that we do not need to keep the chemistry set in the bedroom!”

“Oh, nope, you’re on your own.” Arturo backs out as he hears Alex’s indignant squawk and Michael’s laughter.

Sometimes Arturo thinks he’s being a bad father by letting them live together, but then he thinks they’ll end up spending all of their time together anyways and he doesn’t want them to have to pay for two apartments for no reason.

And then Arturo thinks back to how Alex calms Michael, how his music soothes him and helps him concentrate. 

His entropy changes, as Michael likes to say. Arturo knows Alex is the budding songwriter but he thinks his son has a chance at being a pretty successful poet if he ever wanted to. 

Arturo smiles as he thinks back to finding them behind the Crashdown in the back of Michael’s truck one night after a particularly bad fight Alex had with Jesse and how Michael had his head in Alex’s lap with Alex carding his fingers through Michael’s curls, just singing softly to Michael so he was practically asleep. It was then that Arutro knew there was no going back for either of them. That what they had would withstand the test of time. After all, Michael woke up at the right time to meet Alex. Something like destiny Arturo likes to think. 

But, they are teenagers, and teenagers fight, so Arturo just smiles at them as he goes to help Liz unpack their kitchen. 

Living together should be interesting. 

2018 

“I’m so proud of you, Mjio.” 

Arturo looks around at the house Michael and Alex purchased after moving back home to Roswell after ten years away.

“Thanks, Papi.” Michael smiles as they sit down on the couch, which is next to all of Alex’s music equipment. 

Alex is a successful songwriter, his career taking them all over the world these last ten years and Michael’s an agricultural engineer, something he wanted to do to honor his mother after he found out she could grow crops. 

“I’m glad you’ve all decided to come home.” 

Michael laughs and Arturo pulls him into his side, just like he’s still a kid. He thinks about how lucky he is to have all three of his children home now, with Liz getting a position at the local hospital and Rosa owning the art gallery in town.

“I am, too.” Michael looks around their home and smiles. “I am, too.”  

“You did get quite a big house.” Arturo hears the teasing in his own voice and so does Michael because he laughs. It’s not that Michael and Alex haven’t talked about having kids. Michael’s been talking about starting a dad band with Alex since they were seventeen, so Arutro has no qualms bringing it up now.

“How about we start with a dog before we start deciding which room to use as a nursery.”

“You said it.” 

“I love you, Papi.”

“I love you, too, Mijo.”

~~~

Arturo comes out of the kitchen and sees Michael slurping on a milkshake in the middle of the day.

“Mijo. I didn’t know you were coming by!”

“Can’t a guy just drop by to see his dad?”

Arturo raises an eyebrow at Michael, well aware of his penchant for sarcasm and Michael laughs.

“Fine, you caught me. I came to talk to you about something.”

“Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, I just...” Michael gestures upstairs and Arturo nods his head.

Arturo sits on the couch, well aware that Michael will tell him when he’s ready and luckily he doesn’t have to wait long.

“I’m gonna ask Alex to marry me.” 

“Mijo.” Arturo blinks away tears as Michael sits down next to him and grabs his hands.

“Papi, please say it’s okay.”

“What? Of course it is.”

“Okay, it’s just. He doesn’t really have parents I can ask, and he calls you Papi, so…”

“Oh, Mijo, I love you both, you don’t need my permission, but you have it.”

“Thank you.” Michael breathes out and Arturo pats his hands before he gets up.

“Where are you going?”

“Just a second.”

Arturo comes back into the living room holding a ring, a necklace, and dog tags that he hands to Michael.

“The dog tags were Tripp Manes and the necklace was the one your mother was wearing when they crashed here.” Arturo watches as Michael runs his fingers over both items with tears in his eyes.

“Papi.” 

Arturo thinks back to the conversation he had with Tripp out by the pod cave and how he wanted to see Michael end up in a good home, with a good family. And how Tripp wanted Arturo to make sure that happened. Arturo likes to think he did a good job. 

“Tripp wanted you to have them. He said you would know who to give them to.” 

“Thank you.” Michael breathes out as he looks at Arturo. “And the ring?”

“It was the ring he was going to give your mother.”

Michael looks at him, fully crying now, well aware of the relationship that Tripp and Nora had. Arturo pulls him into a hug and runs his fingers through his curls.

“He’d want you to have it. He’d also want you to make it your own.”

Michael nods against his chest and Arturo knows with a little doctoring it will be the ring Michael uses to propose to Alex with.

Two sons and two daughters. Arturo is one lucky man.

2020 

“Nervous, Mijo?” Arturo jokes as he takes over tying Michael’s tie for him. Underneath Michael’s shirt is the necklace he gave him a couple of years ago. The one his mother Nora wore when they crash landed on Earth all those years ago. He knows Alex wears Tripp’s dog tags, as well.

“To marry Alex? No.” 

Arturo envies Michael sometimes. His quiet confidence and how loudly he loves Alex is something that most people can only dream of. They’ve been inseparable since they were seven and Arturo brought the trio to the Crashdown. 

Isobel and Rosa got married two years prior and Liz and Max got married four years ago. Arturo will be a grandfather before the year is over and his heart is overflowing with joy. 

“I’m so happy for you both.”

“Papi, don’t make me cry.”

“Sorry, sorry, not yet, you’re right.”

Michael laughs as he hugs Arturo tightly and Arturo has never been more glad that Tripp pulled him aside in the diner all those years ago.

“Come, Mijo, it’s time to get you hitched.”

“Ugh, Papi, you’ve been spending way too much time with Isobel lately.”

Arturo laughs and ushers Michael outside to where Alex will be waiting at the altar for him. 

Michael and Alex’s backyard has been transformed into something out of a magazine. Small lanterns line the aisle, white chairs with greenery, and cafe lights hang above. Isobel has truly outdone herself. 

And at the end of the aisle is Alex, with tears in his eyes staring at Michael, who Arturo can tell is barely holding back his own tears.

The music starts and Arturo hears Alex’s voice waft through the outdoor speakers and Arturo gasps. 

“Did you know?” Arturo whispers as they make their way down the aisle.

“I knew he was planning something, but I didn’t know he was signing his own song.” 

It's you I'm fighting for

If I call off the battalion

Break my walls down stone by stone

Tear down my defenses

I can build your heart a home

And if I did

Would you come home

I still find my fathers shrapnel

Buried beneath my skin

But I've begun to heal in all the places your hands have been

Would you meet me in the middle

Could we both stop keeping score

There's a battle I must fight alone

It's you I'm fighting for

If I call off the battalion

Break my walls down stone by stone

Tear down my defenses

I can build your heart a home

And if I did

Would you come home

The song is beautiful, just like their love, and Arturo, along with everyone else, is a mess of tears by the time he hugs both Alex and Michael and sits down next to Michelle. 

The ceremony is truly the most romantic thing Arturo has ever witnessed, Isobel leaving no stone unturned, and it’s not until Michael and Alex are ready to say their own vows that Arturo realizes just how lucky he is to be these boys’ father.

“Alex.” Michael begins as he grabs Alex’s hands. “I think I knew when we met at seven that we were meant to be. I know you think I’m always coming up with these cheesy and brilliant lines to express myself, but I think when we met it was as if we were built from the same star drawn together by something cosmic. I’m from another galaxy and yet somehow you are as familiar as my own reflection. I’ve loved you, for a long time, and I will continue loving you, far beyond this world.”

Arturo has tears running down his face, recognizing the lines from Tripp’s journal that he gave to Michael twelve years prior. Alex laughs at Michael’s joke and Arturo notices that he squeezes Michael’s hands a little bit tighter. 

“Michael.” Alex responds, throat thick with emotion. “Together we could quiet all the noises, drown out the voices, and play our own song. I think back to when we were boys becoming men under the desert sky, and how I wanted nothing more than to spend my life with you. I knew then that you loved me, just as I know you love me now. You were the best of me. You are the best of me.”

Arturo is really crying now, along with everyone else and he wipes his eyes just in time to see Michael and Alex kiss as they’re announced husbands to the world.

“I now pronounce you married.” Isobel shouts. “Everybody cheer for Mr. and Mr. Ortecho!”

Arturo pauses as the name they’ve chosen sinks in and both Michael and Alex turn to him and hug him before making their way back down the aisle. 

“We love you, Papi.” 

“I love you, too, Mijos.” 

[bittybattybunny]

A curse that makes Snatcher lose his voice. I know that's not visually funny but I could easily see Hattie and Eclipse teasing him for being unable to talk.

Okay so this one took a bit to get to cuz I had to kinda sit and mull over how to make him lose his voice that’s not a standard ‘got a cold or something’ which could be funny all on its own since he’s such a hammy guy who likes to talk and talks to himself (I blame the ocean isolation)

And then I was thinking about Disney (cuz I saw an Enchanted post and it made me wanna write an au for that but I was flipping and flopping over who’s the divorce lawyer and it’s not who you think)

and then thought the little mermaid (cuz I wanted to draw Eclipse as Disney Princesses but didn’t know which ones to start with and my sister wants her in the pink dress)

and thus

here’s snatcher losing his voice and Eclipse teasing him slightly and him accidentally partially setting their relationship back after he actually realized he liked her:

Snatcher swam along the bottom of the ocean with a resigned huff. His claws flittering through the silt absentmindedly as he did. He blinked feeling something. He stopped and swam back, using his tail to brush some of the sand away. He looked at the softly glowing shell and shifted to look closer.

“A necklace?” he raised a brow. He liked the shape. A nice spiral shell, “an ammonite shell maybe?” he wondered aloud before he scooped it with the tip of his tail. Holding to the black chain it hung from. He huffed and dropped it into his hand with a grin. It’d be fun to give the kid. She liked shells.

He placed his other hand over it so it’d not get lost or fall from his grip as he swam back to the house. He went to say something but nothing came out. He blinked and tried to talk but bubbles came out. He huffed in annoyance.

Swinging up to the dock he breached the water’s surface and shook his head, sending droplets flying. He stuck the necklace up on a post before climbing up and curling up. He laid down, closing his eyes in the sun as he waited to dry off. 

“Welcome back!” Hattie grinned as she ran over.

“---!” he went to speak again but found his voice wouldn’t come out. He scowled and put a claw to his mouth as he tried again, mouth forming the words but nothing emitting.

“Da-- I mean Snatch? You okay??” Hattie asked, looking up at the increasingly distressed leviathan. He made a silent growl and splashed his tail in the water in his agitation.

She frowned, “should i get mom?”

He gave a small nod.

She ran to the house and he moved to lay down. He blew a strand of hair from his face as he did.

“What’s this?” Eclipse asked as her daughter pushed her out of the house, “Snatcher’s sick?”

He rolled his eyes and opened his mouth to speak but nothing came out. She tilted her head.

“-----!!!!” he gripped his head annoyed. 

Hattie pointed, “See??? He can’t get the noise out!”

Eclipse pursed her lips and put a hand to her chin as she thought about it. While she stared he shifted the necklace and she gasped.

“YOU THROW THAT BACK IN THE OCEAN RIGHT NOW!” she barked, startling him with the ferocity in which she spoke. He looked at it, the kid and her in a panicked state before huffing and throwing it as far as he could. They watched the tiny splash far into the horizon. He turned back to Eclipse with wide eyes as she laughed.

He huffed as she wiped a tear from her eye.

“You randomly find that?” she asked as he gave a curt nod.

“THAT was why you can’t talk currently.” She snickered as his eyes went wide and he looked to sea in shock. He looked back as she continued snickering and scowled.

“How come?” Hattie asked, “was it magic?!”

“Yes!” Eclipse snickered, “they aren’t common, but that I think had to have been a Sea Heart.” she explained. She walked over and motioned the Leviathan closer, “put your head down.”

He nodded as she gave his cheek a quick kiss. He shot upright in a flustered motion.

He gasped and felt his cheeks burn, moving to cover his face ashamed.

“E-Eclipse! Ah.. my voice…” he blinked as he looked at his hand confused. He looked back as she winked at him.

“Sea hearts have a water-based magic pull. I have earth-based. Earth absorbs water.” she explained, “I used my natural magic to break the curse.” she giggled as his heart raced. He gulped and leaned back down. She tilted her head confused.

“T-thank you.” he mumbled. He tensed as she pet his cheek gently. He made a small dolphin-like click in his throat as she stroked the scales.

“So what’s a sea heart mom?” Hattie asked moving to also pet Snatcher as he clicked happily. “How come it ate his voice?”

“A sea heart is a tool sea witches use.” Eclipse explained, “While sea witches aren’t common anymore, and were always less common than land witches, a lot of their magic is left scattered in the ocean. Sea hearts are enchanted shells which trap sound to keep people from talking about their curses. Like in the little mermaid.”

“AH! The singing shell!” Hattie gasped, “so it’s like that? They're real???”

“Mmhm.” Eclipse laughed when Snatcher pushed against her with his face. She smiled and moved to kiss between his eyes, he jolted upright and flustered once more.

“D-Don… just…” he mumbled as he hid his face. It wasn’t fair she kissed him when he was a leviathan but he couldn’t kiss her as a human. He looked down at her as she tilted her head confused. He sighed and brushed his hair back, “S-So avoid shells like that. Got it.”

“Good! Also avoid anything with a glowing green mossy look, that could be a dragon sea egg. We don’t want to mess with those; ocean spirits get very touchy.” she giggled.

He smiled and bent over to her confusion. She tensed up as his large glowing tongue licked her. Her hair stood up on end as she stood there processing. He grinned.

“For the kisses.” he purred.

She tried to fix her hair, “F-Fine. I won’t do it again.” she sighed, “S-sorry.” she grabbed her arms and ran back inside.

He blinked with a whine in his throat, “N-No wait i was.. Thanking.. You…” he covered his mouth ashamed.

Hattie snickered, “Smooth.” she gasped when he pushed her into the water with a big splash.

[words-for-holland]

Quarantine Series: Ornithopobia

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader

Summary: The boys help Y/N get over her fear of birds. I’m sorry if this sucks lol (This takes place pre-Birthday Week)

Check the Rest: Burnt Out | A New Look | Secret Cuts & Kisses | Breaking Friendships |The Birthday Week | Movie Night | Silence is Golden? | Birthday Date Night

Masterlist

Everyone has that one thing that makes them squeamish or afraid. It’s natural. Ironically Tom, who has played Spiderman for the five years of his life is afraid of spiders. Harry gets spooked with loud unforseen noises, Harrison is afraid of snakes, and Tuwaine is terrified of mirrors in the dark. For Y/N, birds were her greatest fear, so imagine to her surprise when she finds out the boys bought a couple of chickens.

“You what?!” Y/N freaks out after she sees Tom holding a pair of chickens in both hands.

“C’mon love. We ran out of eggs, so instead of going to the store, Predator and Ranger can lay them in the backyard.” He reasons, adorning his boyish smile that he knows Y/N could never resist.

“But live chickens?!” Y/N repeats as she looks at the two clucking and bobbing their heads. She cringes in fear as she sees the chickens make eye contact with her. Her toes curl, and her arms wrap around her own body. “This is probably a bad time to tell you, I have a serious fear with birds.” She confesses through her teeth.

Tom laughs at her response, thinking it was a joke until he saw how Y/N’s face did not change. “Oh my god seriously?! You’re afraid of birds?!” He asked.

Y/N raises her eyesbrows, gesturing as if he should have known that. “Would I be acting like this if I was?”

“But why? I mean look at their cute, wittle faces. How can you be scared of these babies?” Tom responds in his baby voice as he pays his attention to the chickens.

“Look at them!” Y/N squeals. “The eyes. The beak. The claws.”

“Darling, they’re harmless.” Tom responds, stifling a laugh.

“Yeah? Well so are spiders but I don’t see you manning up to them! Plus, did you know chickens are the descendants of T-Rex?” She questioned him as if the viable information would frighten him.

Tom threw his head back, laughing at Y/N’s responses. “Spiders are a different story! You should have seen that tarantula they brought on the press tour. Y/N, chickens wont attack you.”

“Yes they will.”

“No they wont.”

“Yes, they w—”

“Look, why don’t we make a bet.” Tom inquires. “If I can get you to over come your fear of birds and hold Predator or Ranger by the end of Quarantine.... I get to name our first child.” He smiles brightly.

Y/N laughs at his proposal, not believing what he’s offering. “We’re not even engaged yet!” She exclaims. “Let alone, pregnant!!”

“Not yet, you aren’t!” He says excitedly. “But one of these days, I am going to put a ring on that finger and we are going to have beautiful babies. Im just planning ahead!” Y/N gives him a knowing look, which only made Tom shrug his shoulders and sigh in defeat. “But I guess if we’re talking about prizes now...I get to pick the movies for Movie Night for the next year with no complaints, but I still get to name our first child.”

Y/N rolls her eyes, smiling at the thought Tom had put into their future. The fact that he had already planned having her in his future with a kids, made her heart swell even more. “Ok, deal. You got till the end of lockdown.”

As the month passes by, Tom tried his best to slowly introduce the chickens to his girlfriend. His first attempt started with getting Y/N comfortable with a feather. He figured baby steps with introducing a harmless, soft part of a chicken would ease her uneasiness. “See baby, look how soft Ranger’s feather is. It almost tickles.” He tries to tickle her with the feather, but Y/N slowly backed away, cringing in fear. “C’mon darling. It’s just a feather. It’s not going to bite.” He laughs. Y/N shakes away the fear as she holds the feather smiling and admiring the lightness and fluffiness.

“Hey, this isn’t so bad.” She laughs nervously, playing around with the feather. Tom nods, feeling proud of the accomplishment he’s made. Baby steps, he thought to himself, knowing hes this much closer to naming their future child.

Unfortunately, it was short lived when Harrison decided to sneak up on Y/N while she was admiring Ranger’s feather. She squeal and jumped, as she made her way back up to their shared bedroom.

“Way to go Mate.” Tom says sarcastically. “I was this close too.”

“What?! I thought she was joking!” Harrison defended himself, laughing at the fact that Y/N really did have a fear of birds. “C’mon she craves fried chicken almost every day. There’s no way anyone would believe it!”

Tom continued to build up Y/N’s confidence with birds through the lockdown period. He let her watch them from a very safe distance, introduced her to baby chicks, and the more exposure she got, the more Y/N started to relax. But the real test came when a pigeon flew into their house. Will Smith was the name for the newest member of the Holland Home. Y/N and Tom froze when it started to chill in the living room. “It’s okay darling. See he’s just minding his own business. Look.”

Tom gets up and starts filming Will for his insta story, showing him the way out to freedom. He constantly looks back at Y/N to gauge her reaction, and was happy to see her smiling and shaking her head at the ridiculousness of it. After all, when do you ever see your boyfriend escort a pigeon out of the living room during Quarantine Season? “Good work. Love your work. Great form.” Tom encourages Will as he bobs his way out. A slight mishap happens when Will takes flight in the kitchen, which made Y/N squeal, her fear flooding in a tiny bit but not enough to make her run for the hills like last time. As the pigeon flies out to freedom, Tom comes back to the living room. “See a mangy little pigeon was nothing.”

Y/N lets out a slight giggle, as she makes room for her boyfriend. “Yeah...Will Smith wasnt too bad.” She admits. “Though I must say the commentary did help.” Y/N pauses to think for a second. “Actually, I think Im ready to hold Predator or Ranger right now.”

Tom lifts his head up with surprise. “What?! Seriously?!” He asks. Y/N nods at his response. “Only if you want to Y/N. I don’t want to force you to do anything that’s uncomfortable.”

“This...sounds like a totally different conversation right now.” Y/N laughs at her implication of the conversation.

Tom rolls his eyes, looking at her with seriousness. “I mean it Y/N. Don’t force yourself, if you don’t think youre ready to hold them.”

“We can start with petting them, and if I feel really good...I’ll try to hold them.” Y/N plans out as Tom grabs her hand to head her to the chicken’s den.

“Lads..today is a memorable day in history. Thats right, get your cameras out because Y/N is going to touch Predator and Ranger for the very first time.” Tuwaine annouces, cupping his hands around his mouth to make his voice even louder.

Harrison and Harry hold out the two chickens, who calmly lay in their arms. Tom is right beside Y/N, hilding her hand for support. “Are you ready gents?! Y/N pet them chickens!” Tuwaine yells out.

Slowly Y/N approaches the two chickens, letting her hand out. Predator and Ranger cock their heads up as they see the hand coming towards them. They don’t bother to move and remain very still. Once she made contact, Y/N lets out a slight squeal as she rubs down their sides. Realizing they neither jerked or flapped their wings, Y/N had grown more confident with her chicken handling. “Wow..they’re actually not too bad. They’re such cute little things.” She says.

“Do you wanna hold one?” Harry asks as he starts to lend the Predator to Y/N. The moment he’s about to lay Predator on Y/N’s open arms, she starts to flap her wings uncontrollably and make a noise. Ultimately it made Y/N cringe in fear as she ran to the door. “Well at least that she touched them.” Harry encourages Tom.

Tom shrugs his shoulders, as he laughs at the response. “She touched the chicken and that’s all that matters.” Tom thinks for a moment wondering if it counted as an automatic win. “Wait Y/N” he yells running after her. “Does this mean I can name our child Peter Benjamin Holland?”

Taglist:

@hollanddolanfangirl @parkerspillow @joyleenl @kihyunwifes @holland-bowen @in-a-lot-of-fandoms-tbh @marvelobsessedteenager @viwihere

[woulddieforperrytheplatypus]

My mind was plagued with thoughts of the episode where the kids think Perry laid an egg and the comic where Perry saves a baby platypus from Doof, and that got me thinking: what if Perry was actually a dad to a baby platypus? One possibility is that Perry wouldn't want his child to become an agent at such a young age and would rather have his kid decide if they want to do it when they're older, but I believe that either way, the young platypus would inherit Perry's anthropomorphism.

oh my god I’ve never even thought about Dad!Perry before 🥺 I thought his relationship with the Flynn-Fletcher kids was wholesome but that has some real potential to become the superior relationship

obligatory “read more” to save everyone who doesn’t care how I feel about Dad!Perry

Okay first I gotta ask how we think this would happen. Is it the egg from Perry Lays An Egg that hatches, except it really is a baby platypus and Perry ends up taking it in because no one else can? Or is it Perry taking one of Doof’s platybabies home? Or is it trans!Perry laying his own egg? Or Perry has sex with another platypus (that’s such a weird thought lmao) and somehow he becomes the sole guardian of the egg? As the numero uno “Perry is an asexual demibiromantic platypus” stan, I kinda like the first or second one, but I also feel like the platybaby should be related to him? But at the same time Phineas and Ferb is all about how family don’t end in blood so maybe that’s not important?

Anyways onto Dad!Perry because holy shit I’m excited to explore this

I’m gonna start at the end of the ask by saying that I feel like anthropomorphism isn’t genetically inherited; I feel like it’s something that’s taught. It’s kinda a nature vs nurture type thing so I guess it’s more a psychological debate than anything, but if I had to channel my inner English teacher and draw evidence from “the text” (aka the show), I gotta bring up the koi from Attack of the 50 Foot Sister that were just kinda vibin in the neighbors’ pond at the beginning of the episode and then Monogram had to make them agents to avoid a lawsuit and by the end they were saving Perry’s ass? Which is relevant to literally nothing except that I think any baby animal Perry raises, regardless of whether or not they’re related to him by blood (or even by species), will probably turn the lil baby into an anthropomorphic lil platybaby just because of all the human and human-like influences

And now the elephant in the room (cue OWCA Files Agent E joke): how does OWCA react to the news? Which I guess is really a follow-up question to how OWCA finds out in the first place. I think we can all agree that Perry won’t want to tell them. It’s not like he sees the other agents as friends that he wants to invite to the baby shower. But Monogram would want to know if there’s a new player in the Flynn-Fletcher house not that he knows who lives there now; that’s Carl’s area of expertise. Would he have to tell them? Is there a protocol for that? Especially if it’s just an egg he picks up from The Tree™ in the backyard. That’s basically just getting a new pet, right? And sure, Monogram would want to know, but is Perry legally obligated to tell him is the question.

But Monogram has to find out one way or another, and given that Perry is the best of the best, Monogram is going to want his kid in the club. Perry would 100% say no, too, but I don’t know if it would be because he wants his son (yes it’s a boy platybaby no I don’t know why) to have his own say in his future; I think Perry would consider OWCA too dangerous for his son. I mean, we saw what happened when Phineas, Ferb, and Candace got mixed up in his job: they were almost eaten by a goozim and the tri-state area was almost taken over by an evil dictator. He would definitely want to keep his son out of that scene if he could. At least all the dangers at home are Phineas-and-Ferb-sponsored, and unlike OWCA, they would make sure he didn’t get hurt.

Buuuut Monogram is also a dumbass and doesn’t know how to take no for an answer, so he’d keep pushing. It has to be a well-known fact around OWCA that changing Agent P’s mind about anything is not an easy feat, so maybe when Monogram realized it was a lost cause, he’d try to go around Perry’s back? Maybe while Perry was at work, he’d head to the Flynn-Fletchers’ house (or send Carl again like Undercover Carl) to try to get the platybaby alone? He could explain what OWCA is and that he would make a perfect candidate. I doubt Perry would have told his son about OWCA in any detail yet other than the fact that he works there and that’s where he goes every day, so this would all be new and interesting. And then Perry either comes home when Monogram or Carl is talking to his son about OWCA or his son brings it up himself, and Perry is fuming because he made it very clear that he didn’t want OWCA anywhere near his family. 

And now I can’t help but wonder if that would cause bigger problems between him and OWCA? What if that’s his breaking point, and he just flat-out quits because if they can’t respect his very few boundaries, he doesn’t owe them anything? And assuming the platybaby didn’t come from Doof, maybe that’s how they meet? Somehow he finds out that the reason there’s a new agent working his case is that Perry’s out on “permanent paternity leave” or something, and word gets back to Perry somehow (maybe Pinky heard it through the grapevine and told him? idk) that Doof wants to meet him? And Perry’s kinda wary buuuuut at the same time, Doof isn’t his nemesis anymore. If you take OWCA out of the equation, aren’t they just friends? 

WAIT A SECOND

IMAGINE HOW NORM WOULD REACT TO SEEING A BABY PLATYPUS

LIKE

I DON’T KNOW WHY

BUT NORM WOULD ABSOLUTELY LOVE THIS BABY PLATYPUS

and Doof would get kinda annoyed because “He came here so I could meet the baby, you know,” and usually that’s enough to convince Norm that he’s doing something wrong, but this time Norm is just like, “But I love him?” And Doof expects Perry to back him up and he probably should but at the same time, his son looks so happy with Norm? Without OWCA’s training, he still has that platypus aspect to his personality that comes from both his animal instinct and how the Flynn-Fletchers treat him, so he’s just kinda snuggled up in Norm’s lap and Norm is just petting him?

And this is probably after he’s shown some human-like features and Doof knows that he’s about as human as Perry, so he asks, “Does he like being pet?” and Perry nods because duh of course he does and Doof just kinda looks at him for a moment and he’s like, “Do you like to be pet?” and Perry just fuckin decks him because no he does not yes he does and Doof just nods like, “Okay, fair enough.”

AND THEN VANESSA WALKS IN???

and she had absolutely no idea this was happening she’s about to go drop her stuff off in her room for the weekend and Norm’s like, “Look at my new friend!” and Vanessa thinks it’s gonna be something stupid but she walks over and sees the baby platypus and she starts freaking out because holy shit Perry is that yours? and obviously she needs to know literally everything there is to know about him because this is her nephew now and she will not take no for an answer.

And I feel like OWCA really wouldn’t like this? I mean, Perry completely severed ties with them over this platybaby, and now he’s bringing his son over to DEI at least twice a week to see his former nemesis? And idk what they would do about it because I don’t think there’s an actual protocol for this, but Monogram is Very Sensitive™ and he won’t stand for this.

Also and I’m totally just spit-balling here but what if, because the platybaby is kinda also being raised by the Doofenshmirtzes (and the Flynn-Fletchers but idk if that would make much of a difference here bc he has to pretend to be a mindless pet around them like his dad), he gets the best of the human and animal experience all in one, without all the shit Perry had to deal with from OWCA? And what if that somehow leads him to be able to speak? I don’t quite know how that would work, mostly because I don’t really know what prevents Perry from speaking, but we already went into that back in May so I’m not gonna go there again lol

okay I’m pretty sure it’s been over two hours since I started working on this ask but I can’t help it because this is literally such a cute idea fjdshflakfa I don’t even know if I’d be content reading this like I feel like this is just something I want to write. I kinda want to see how Phineas and Ferb would treat him, and if they’d treat Perry any differently now that a) he’s a dad and b) there’s a new platypus for them to love. I also want to see how Candace would handle probably falling in love with the platybaby but still getting annoyed by Perry. I really want to see what Vanessa and Norm’s relationship with the platybaby would turn into. Idk so much about the Doof/platybaby relationship though; I feel like I’d be more interested in how this affects the Doof/Perry dynamic instead. Something about Doof makes me think he wouldn’t be as easily swayed by the platybaby as everyone else, but the fact that Perry would now be a dad just like him would probably make him unreasonably happy. And that’s not even touching upon how different life would be for Perry now that he has a son, and he would obviously adore the little guy with his entire being, but, like, he has a son? How is he supposed to deal with that?

also I really should’ve given the platybaby a name to make this more readable and it’s a little too late for that but I hereby decree that his new temporary name until such time as this fic gets written is Horatio (unless y’all wanna hit me up with your platybaby name ideas because I would love to see them?) so welcome to the Dwampyverse, Horatio :,)

[lothpup]

Well it’s been a hot minute since I’ve actually written any fic, let alone posted it so I’m a little like !!! But between finishing rebels, and a pal getting a mouse, whatever this is happened! It was fun to write at the least! A Mischief of Mice  1214 words Kallus likes to fix up droids. The spectre kids and their big cat brother like to make terrible jokes. Mischief ensues. Below the cut, because it’s actually a little bit longer than I thought it was!

Giggling, as Alexsandr Kallus has come to find out rather swiftly, is never a good sign when one is onboard the Ghost. The sounds of the youngest spectres snickering somewhere just out of sight is far from the sweet, innocent sounds of the young ones finding joy.

He almost regrets sitting in the very corner of the main room, the cabins where the culprits are up to whatever they’re up to are working.

That giggling is a terrible omen, a harbinger of doom, the crack of thunder just before a terrible storm.

It’s particularly a bad sign when he has a so many of transport logs to finish combing through that Draven expects by morning.

Each peal of laughter only serves to heighten his dread. And perhaps the sneaking curiosity at what exactly today’s antics are that have prompted such giggling. It isn’t the most common sound, and certainly wasn’t common in all his years under the Empire.

The moment he hears the hearty gruff belly-deep chuckle of Garazeb he knows this is going to go spectacularly awful. For him most likely.

“No, we’re not done with them, and no you can’t throw them in the trash! Chopper!”

Chopper passes by very quickly, paint in a calico of colours splattered across the droid.

Following Chopper is the chorus of impending disaster.

If he weren’t so apprehensive thinking of all the potential things those loth rats were up to he’d be quite impressed with their hyena impressions.

“Hey Kallus,” Ezra emerges first, hands clasped suspiciously behind his back. Trying very hard and failing spectacularly to hide his grin.

“Whatever you lot are up to back there, I don’t want to know,” Kallus answers quickly, turning back to his datapad. And having to re-read the same line the fourth time over.

“Up to something? Us? We’re not up to something, are we Sabine?”

Sabine peeks around the corner next, not even trying to hide her smirk, “No, I don’t believe we are. We would never be up to something. Not us. Couldn’t be.”

Zeb following Ezra into the main room with his ears forward and eyes gleaming is most definitely never, ever a good sign.

“Oh look,” Zeb starts, the words clearly rehearsed. “I wonder how those mice got in here!”

Sabine scans the ship, looking at nothing in particular. “Mice? What mice–”

“Oh no! Mice, on the Ghost? What ever will we do?!” Ezra collapses back against the wall with all the dramatic grace of loth cat falling over.

Kallus is about to snap at them to knock of whatever this game is, when he hears the telltale squeak of one of his MSE droids.

Although, it seems to be more of an actual mouse now.

The brown-white-and-black splashed across Chopper earlier makes more sense now. complete with felt ears, a tiny tail, and drawn on mouse-face the poor thing is no longer the burnished grey of metal but bright patches of golden brown-and-white.

The first one isn’t alone. The other two are painted one grey and the other black-and-white. The same little ears stuck on top, same little faces complete with whiskers, and the most ridiculous tail stuck to the back.

“Looks like a real mischief of mice in here,” Ezra beams, gesturing at their handiwork.

It takes a long time for him to find any words, because of any possible outcomes this wasn’t one of them. MSE droid. But now they are mice. Ordinarily anyone messing with whatever droid he’s working on would get harsh words, but then the thought occurs to him: he’s been included in their family pranks.

He’s no stranger to them, but usually as a bystander caught in the crossfire. He’s heard the infamous tale of Chopper pulling the support bolts from Ezra’s bunk, the moment painted on their cabin wall. Besides that, usually it involves someone stealing something, and ends with Chopper trying to electrocute someone else.

“What the actual kriff.”

It’s the most eloquent thing he can put together.

“Mouse? Mice? Get it?” Ezra prompts.

Sabine checks him a little harder than necessary, hissing at him that it’s not funny if he has to explain it.

“Pancake.”

It’s the spectres’ turn to look at him strangely.

“I had a pet mouse as a child. A cream mouse, named Pancake. Well, pet might be a loose term when it was more I fed this wild mouse who lived under the kitchen sink.”

Ezra hums thoughtfully, his expression flickering. “You know, you never struck me as the type for pets.”

“And that means what, exactly?” Kallus scolds himself internally at that, what’s he going to accomplish picking a fight with this child?

“It means it’s good. You aren’t completely soul-crushingly evil or anything.”  

“Ezra, has anyone told you to think before you say stupid things?” Zeb growls, knocking Ezra’s shoulder.

“Thank you, I think,” Kallus nods, still not quite sure what’s happening and why. If they were trying to annoy him off their ship, he’s more puzzled than anything.

“So you like it or not? Look, we spent way too long and I invested way too much of my good paint for you to look like a bird who hit a window. No Ezra, you can’t throw him through glass again.” Sabine stares at Kallus expectantly, one hand on her hip in a way that’s eerily similar to Hera.

He’s never going to hear the end of that.

“Yes, no, I mean- It’s very… cute.”

Sabine, seemingly happy with the reply grins. “All I needed to hear. C’mon Ezra, we better go see where Hera and Kanan snuck off to.”

The pair skip off down the ramp, Ezra’s voice carrying. “He said the word cute, are you sure this is the same guy?”

“You really had a mouse called Pancake?” Zeb snorts once the kids are gone.

“Well, I was hardly going to call him something ridiculous like Kitchen Scrub-brush was I?” The reply comes out entirely too fast, and entirely too high pitched to be composed.

“Easy tiger, ‘m not insulting your childhood mouse’s honour.”

“This is going on the list of things I’m never going to hear the end of isn’t it?”

Zeb just laughs, nudging Kallus’ shoulder, “Nope. Not a chance.”

“Fearsome warrior Kallus, and his loyal pet… Pancake the Mouse who Lives Under his Sink.”

Kallus groans, turning his head away to try hide the flush across his cheeks. “He really liked pancakes.”

“Well, you gonna name these ones after food too?” Zeb looks at the m(ou)se droids. “If not, I vote you call one Kitchen Scrub-brush. Maybe the grey one, that one looks the most ridiculous.”

If nothing, the new paint jobs prompt a lengthy and loud debate that night over what the droids are to be called between all the spectres. Chopper seems insistent on one being called words Kallus isn’t sure even teenagers should be hearing. Zeb votes loudly for Kitchen Scrub-brush, and Kallus’ flustered attempts at other names only egg the spectres on.

For the first time, he doesn’t feel like he’s on the outside looking in on the family.

(And, if Kallus is able to use the distraction to get Pancake the Second from his pocket back to his quarters unnoticed, well he’s not going to complain about that either.)

[themorp]

Writing Prompts

A lot of these are Au related! And some of them hint at violence/gore, so please be aware of that.

“Don’t move. They rely on sight.”

“I knew it was you!”

“Please tell me that’s not my soulmate.”

“Did you seriously get yourself stuck in a chair?”

“I am so sorry that the words on your arm are so stupid.”

“Prepare for canon fire!”

“Look out!”

“That’s gross... Cool! But still gross.”

“That was my kill!”

“Are you from the Northern Empire?”

“Well I’m not sure weather to be offended or relieved- my wanted posture looks nothing like me.”

“That is NOT how you hold (weapon).”

“Well... this is awkward...”

“Can I kick his ass?”

“HOW ARE THEY SO HOT??? HOW DARE THEY!!!”

“Be quiet! They’ll hear you!”

“Did you steal from that couple?”

“That thing has a curse on it. I’d be careful.”

“I didn’t realize it was a shrinking potion, I swear!”

“I knew (mythical creature/cryptid) were real!”

“Can you get me out of this thing?”

“I have never met you, but I know someone who needs help when I see one.”

“I left you guys alone for FIVE MINUTES!!!”

“That looks painful.”

“Yikes... Glad that’s not me.”

“We’re gonna have to cut it off before it spreads to other parts of their body.”

“And where, exactly, have you been?”

“HOW DID YOU PISS OFF ALL THE GUARDSMEN?!”

“I said distract them, not knock them out!”

“For the last time!!! That is not edible!”

“That man is crazy.”

“They’re going to burn them at the stake!”

“Well, that wasn’t what I was expecting.”

“You’re rescuing me?”

“I never knew the outside world so... big.”

“Put the fire out before we’re noticed!”

“This rescue mission is gonna kick my ass.”

“I... I think they’re still alive...”

“Are you sure they aren’t infected?”

“That’s a brutal looking scar.”

“How did you manage to pull that off?”

“Put down the (weapon)... I’m not gonna hurt you.”

“Well that isn’t normal.”

“What are you?!”

“Dragon bonding isn’t for everyone.”

“Who the hell thought this was a good idea.”

“I am no longer giving a fuck.”

“I want to give up, but I have someone worth pushing onwards for.”

“This storm came out of nowhere!”

“That was dangerous and reckless! But... it was impressive...”

“Who the hell is stupid enough to do that?”

“Can you see anything?”

“Is that what I think it is?”

“I haven’t had meat in years.”

“Was that a gunshot?”

“Can we keep it?”

“Well. This is unexpected.”

“Why are you covered in mud?”

“I have never been held like this...”

“Don’t touch me! You stink! What the hell was in that swamp?!”

“What is... kissing?”

“That’s disgusting. Don’t stop.”

“Aww... what a cute dog...! Wait... THAT IS NOT A DOG ABORT ABORT ABORT-”

“Can I have a hug?”

“How do you live like this?!”

“You’ve never been in a real battle, have you?”

“The Chief will decide your fate.”

“You know I was expecting you to be bigger.”

“Barricade the doors!”

“This is a strange ritual.”

“I don’t think this is a regular maze...”

“Is that blood?”

“There’s a hole in the floor.”

“What the hell was that? Did you hear that?”

“Zombies aren’t supposed to be smart!”

“Is that a ship?”

“Get the hell out of my way.”

“Did you just (physical attack such as punch or kick) me?!’

“They’re weakened by silver.”

“I really wish I had my holy water right now.”

“Well that backfired.”

“I’m so hungry... Can I feed off you a little?”

“YOU DARE OPPOSE ME?”

“Please help me, this man has been following me and I don’t want him to know where I live.”

“Is that really you?!”

“Has it really been three centuries?”

“Are you sure you’re human?”

“That was an alien- That was an alien- THAT WAS AN ALIEN-”

“We SHOULD NOT SPLIT UP!!”

Is it just me or is the floor moving?”

“How the hell did someone get in here?”

“Well, this is awkward... Can I have my payment now?”

“Since when were you so smart?”

“They’re right above us.”

“It’s almost like it can see into my soul.”

“BUGS DON’T GET THAT BIG HERE-”

“I hear growling...”

“DO NOT THROW THE BABY”

“Is that a threat or an offer?”

“I have so many pictures of them being an idiot.”

“The clock has less than hour left.”

“HAVE YOU EVER WATCHED A HORROR MOVIE?!?!”

“Was that you?”

“I think I’m going crazy.”

“We have to go- a scout discovered our shelter, the hive is coming.”

“It’s so damn hot.”

“I... I can’t remember...”

“Aww that’s so cute how much is i-... nevermind.”

“Did you just eat an alien egg?”

“You do realize they’re siblings right?”

“How are you so cute?”

“I am in debt to you, and until that debt is paid I will be you loyal servant.”

“Are you... Are you riding a dragon?”

“You’re under arrest.”

“Here, drink this.”

“Potion making is sensitive, so please be quiet whilst I work.”

“Has thee never seen a Vampire?”

“That was not rad at all.”

“I think it’s dead.”

“You go first.”

“You treat me as if I’m not a litterall demon from hell.”

“I will protect until my dying breath.”

“Don’t worry, you’re safe now.”

“It’s an honor to meet you.”

“You’re not from around here, re you?”

“What? Never seen a hybrid before?”

“That is not how you use that.”

“Did you know different flowers have different meanings...? The ones I gave you are quite unique in meaning.”

“Your family is... interesting...”

“If you’re not gonna eat grubs then you’re gonna starve. It’s all that’s out here.”

“That’s not human.”

“Stop standing there staring and help me!”

“I’m too short...”

“Was that an insult?”

“Keep up!”

“Don’t look behind you.”

“You have to jump! You have to trust me!”

“Is this it?”

“I can’t believe my soulmate is a human-”

“Well that was weird.”

“Have you ever exercised?”

“Don’t test my patience, pet.”

“How am I going to tell [Name] about this...?”

“It’s a match made in heaven!”

“Be careful, they’re sensitive!”

“So this is a fruit...”

“When I feel bad I go beat the shit out of someone. It works.”

“DID YOU PULL THE LEVER I SPECIFICALLY ASKED YOU NOT TO PULL?!”

“In DnD we call that rolling a one.”

“[Name] is gonna kill me!”

“Rest in pieces.”

“Hurt them and I make your life hell on Earth.”

“So he’s a dumbass-”

“Someone shoot me-”

“Give it back! That’s private!”

“It was so obvious! I’m such an idiot!”

“Is that all you have?”

“The expedition was successful.”

“There were no survivors.”

“I thought I lost you.”

“Stop! Stop! There’s a cat!”

“Why am I here again?”

“Having detachable body parts is actually a convenience when you’re a cyborg.”

That’s a big ass [Animal]”

“Do you know what you’re doing?!”

“Did you seriously have to pick the lock? When I have the keys?”

“They’re dangerous.”

“And that’s my que to leave.”

“You are my greatest treasure.”

“I seriously hope you’re not thinking of doing what I think you are thinking of doing.”

“WHY THE HELL ARE YOU NAKED?”

“Is... is that a dwarf?”

“You’re as odd as your friends said.”

“There is no need for violence!”

“All I wanted was a doughnut-”

“Why are the barn lights on?”

“They got into ANOTHER fight?!”

“You’d think living with a family of sorcerers would teach them something.”

“Thank goodness most dragons aren’t venomous.”

“Nagas are quite fickle creatures.”

“Satyrs are not to be trusted.”

“You walked into the faery ring, you belong to the fae now. I can’y help you.”

“Go ask them out! They look cute!”

“Angels aren’t supposed to fall in love... but how was I supposed resist you?”

“I thought humans were bigger.”

“Your highness is a royal pain in the ass.”

“That hurt.”

“I am not looking forward to this at all.”

“I do not like caves. I don’t like cavbes at all.”

“MOSS!!!!”

“This town seems abandoned.”

“The radiation levels aren’t too high here.”

“Put your masks on.”

“You know you shouldn’t give your name to strangers, especially a fae in the forest.”

“I never realized how big the ocean was.”

“I have an idea- it’s dangerous, crazy, and reckless, but it might just work.”

“Is this your child?”

“I’m surprised Cerberus likes you.”

“Hellhounds aren’t usually friendly.”

“That’s a big meal for one person...”

“Werewolves aren’t fans of silver.”

“The dumbest myth about us vampires is that we hate garlic.”

“What brings you to my territory, little human?”

“Don’t bare your fangs at guests! It’s rude!”

“I’m only protecting you because I made a promise.”

“That was a terrible attempt at a prank. Let me show you how it’s done.”

“You do realize demons can sense emotions right?”

“You foolish human! You could have gotten hurt!”

“Watch your step.”

“It’s called a secret entrance for a reason.”

“Did you just... kiss me...?”

“My soulmate is a dumbass but I love them.”

“This jackassery will not stand!”

“Unless you have a death wish I’d leave those sirens alone.”

“Swim with me?”

“Have you never frolicked before?”

“You’re fired!”

“Does this armor make me look fat?”

“Your soulmate is a Naga?”

“Gargoyles are cranky in the morning.”

“That little fucker is at it again-”

“I don’t remember the last time I laughed like that.”

“Elves are usually attractive... but them... they’re ethereal..”

“I think I’m in love with a snake man.”

“Are orcs usually this big?”

“Confess? And risk ruining what i have with them? I’d rather drink bog water that a Satyr bathed in!”

“Are all humans this attractive or is it just you?”

“Guns are so odd... They only do their job after they’re fired...”

“Are you usually this full of yourself?”

Do you have any idea what you just did?”

“I wasn’t expecting to meet my soulmate when I snuck into Area 51.”

“Turn off the lights!”

“I won’t let you go, not again.”

“That’s so dangerous...! When are we doing it?”

“You humans are so fragile, yet you are the apex species of your planet.”

“IT’S NOT WORTH IT! GET BACK IN THE CAR!”

“Don’t look back!”

“They’re attracted by (heat, sound, etc.).”

“It looks dangerous.”

“Don’t touch it-”

“Careful it’s soup.”

“Did... did that thing just speak?”

“It’s a boat! Oh my god it’s a boat- we’re saved-”

“Keep your distance.”

“I will not hesitate to leave you behind.”

“THEY’RE SIBLINGS?!”

‘I am slightly worried... never mind I am very worried.”

“THEY’RE CHOKING!”

“It’s too damn hot to do anything.”

“Stop singing!”

“Life isn’t all sunshine and rainbows, kid.”

“That is one ugly ass [Animal/baby/clothing item].”

“I’VE SEEN THIS IN A HENTAI BEFORE!”

“Please shut your trap before I stuff it- shit that sounds sexual-”

“Is that- Is that a fucking cat?”

“That is not what the mean when they say; ‘smash that like button’“

“Where did you learn to drive?” 

“Oof.”

“I’m know I’m stupid but I’m not THAT stupid.”

[lovemesomesurveys]

How many times have you ever ridden an elephant? This question makes it seem like riding elephants is a common thing everyone does. Anyway, I’ve never ridden an elephant.

Do you like cobblers? No. What do you think about Lord of the Rings? look... i feel like im the only person who hasnt read the books OR watched the movies. i feel like it wouldnt be my thing <<< I haven’t either. I have no desire to. 

What kind of cup did you last drink out of? It was one of our Disney collector glasses that McDonald’s was giving out when I was a kid.

Do you currently have any cuts or scrapes? No.

Did you like Barney as a child? I was obsessed with Barney. 

What color vacuum do you use? It’s black.

Do you have a lot of clothes hangers in your house? Yeah.

Have you ever been in a Latin class? No.

Have you ever had bubble gum stuck in your hair? That happened once when I was a kid.

Is there any pet hair stuck to your clothing? I’m sure.

What do you smell? Nothing at the moment.

Have you ever watched The Gremlins? No.

What is your favorite type of seashell? I don’t have a particular favorite. 

Do you love 3-D movies? Wearing the glasses was a nuisance as a glasses wearer, plus I feel like the 3D effects were generally not all that good. 

Have you ever used Proactiv? Yeah.

Is your cell on charge? No.

Do you like dirt or sand better? Sand cause the beach.

When’s the last time you had a hamburger? It’s been a little while..perhaps a couple a months.

Do you own an iHome? No.

Do you own a BEST FRIEND charm or firgurine? No.

What do you think about rainbows? They’re beautiful.

Are you wearing anything on your head right now? No.

Are you watching cartoons? No.

Do you own a pet spider? That’s a HELL no.

Do you like mouthwash? No.

Have you ever used a Ped-Egg? No. Ew, the commercial for that always made me gag.

Do you like Olay products? I couldn’t tell you the last Olay product I used.

Have you ever gone on a cruise? No.

Do you use green pens? Not often, but I’m not opposed to it.

Do you own anything that has a striped pattern on it? Yeah.

Do you watch Wheel of Fortune? I haven’t in quite a long time.

Are there any fake tattoos on you? No. There aren’t any real ones either.

When’s the last time you saw your grandpa? My maternal grandpa passed away back in 2010 and it’s been 3 years since I’ve seen my paternal grandpa. 

Is there a rocking chair in your house? No.

Do you call your animals “baby names”? Yeah. My doggo has a ton of nicknames.

Why does George Lopez say “I GOT THIS!!” in that voice? Ask him.

Do you have homework? Nope, I’m done with school.

Have you ever gone to a Monster Truck show? No.

Well, have you ever seen the Nutcracker? Yeah, in elementary school for a field trip.

Where did you get your bed sheets? Macy’s.

Do you always use manners? Maybe not always at home, but generally yes.

Have you ever been stood up? No.

Are your lips chapped? No.

Have you ever been kicked in the throat? Gahhh, no.

Do you own a fishtank? Nope.

When is the last time you were sick? It’s been a few years since I’ve had something like a cold. I always feel crappy, though.

Do you like the song “Barbie Girl”? Sure.

What do you usually order from Taco Bell? Bean burrito with no onions and extra sauce and cheese, a chicken quesadilla, and a couple Doritos Loco tacos.

If you have a cell, is it touch screen? Yes.

Do you own a feather boa? No.

Are you allergic to peanuts? No.

Do you wear ribbons in your hair? Nope.

Did you get into the Livestrong bracelet kick? I did.

Do you use cheat codes on video games? Yeah.

Have you ever gone mudding on a fourwheeler? No.

Is there a rolly chair in your bed room? My wheelchair.

What is your favorite flavor Jolly Rancher? Watermelon was my favorite. I couldn’t tell you the last time I had a Jolly Rancher, though.

Who is your favorite super hero? Iron Man, Scarlet Witch, Spiderman.

Have you ever been to a church camp? No.

Is there a trampoline in your back yard? Nope.

Have you ever played Dance Dance Revolution? No. Have you ever swam in a creek? No.

Do you enjoy running? Nopeee.

How long has it been since you last slept? Like 30 minutes.

What are your thoughts on Myspace? What a time. It was all the rage back in the day and I was definitely super into it. Then it just died and everyone went to Facebook.

What is the last thing you dropped? My water bottle.

How many nickels are in your posession? I have no idea.

Is the sound on your laptop or computer turned off? No, it’s on because I’m listening to an ASMR video.

How many items do you have in your “favorites”? Where?

Would you ever slide down a razor blade slide into a pool full of alcohol? Uh, no???

What is the last infomercial you saw? *shrug* Probably an exercise one.

How many magnets are on your refrigerator? Several.

How many keychains do you own? I have a ton of keychains.

Do you own anything with a peace sign on it? Possibly.

Have you ever been to Johnny Rocket’s? Yes.

How many stuffed animals are in your room? A ton. Look up, then to the right. What do you see? My closet.

Have you ever done the “Cupid Shuffle”. No, but I’m familiar with the song and dance.

Do you know how to do the Solja Boy dance? I can’t do it, but yeah I know the dance.

When is the last time you wore shorts? A couple days ago.

Do you like elevators or escelators? I have to use elevators.

Have you ever layed on a tampur pedic? No.

Have you ever been in Karate? No.

What color is the nearest lampshade? White.

Is there anyone in the room with you? No.

How long has it been since you’ve eaten a Reese’s? It’s been a long time. When is the last time you went to Walmart? A few weeks ago.

Do you own any body glitter? I have a glitter spray from Bath & Body Works.

What brand of hair straightner do you own, if you own one? I don’t have one.

What is your favorite brand of chips? Frito-Lay.

What time was it 20 minutes ago? 5:50AM.

When is the last time you pet an animal? Last night.

Do you own anything from Aeropostale? Not anymore.

Did you have fun with this survey? I wish there weren’t so many straight yes or no questions.

Was it random, or no? Sure.

[xxgoblin-dumplingxx]

Cherry Coke Special: Five

Move-in day was not near as stressful as Bucky had thought it would be. Your mom and your brother were efficient. Really efficient. It was likely, he figured that you'd moved around a fair bit as a kid.

Your brother was a typical older brother, your mom was quite frankly the one that scared him. Of the two of them, he didn't doubt your mom would be the one to kill him if he hurt you, though, perhaps more out of obligation than love for you.  Not once did she hug you or kiss you after you first got out of the car. And she never once mentioned the grandchild you were carrying. It was incredibly odd.

Bucky never heard either of them mention the baby, and it didn't take long for him to figure out that you hadn't told them yet. So he followed your lead.

Your brother was a little more openly affectionate, though it was clear he was quietly furious at what Rory had done. Bucky was comforted when he pulled you aside and had a hushed but very intense discussion about the situation you got yourself into. He loved you enough to worry about you. But not enough to stay, despite wanting to when his ma was ready to go. They had both hugged you and kissed your cheek, and you made them promise to call when they got home. And neither one looked back as they drove away.

"You okay, Sugar?" Bucky asked quietly, helping you up the steps.

"Yeah," you sigh, "Just tired."

Bucky nodded and kissed the side of your head, "Well, let's get you inside and comfortable. Get you some food ordered, you haven't eaten all day." He wants to ask why you haven't told your ma she's about to be a grandma. He wants to ask why she's so distant with both her kids. But there's time. Right now, he wants to get you fed and try and get you relaxed. You look tense. Or like you're about to be sick, he isn't sure. But he doesn't like it.

He helps settle you on the couch and kisses the side of your head, "You like Chinese?" he asked, walking into the kitchen.

"Yeah," you answer quietly. You don't question why he's staying. And you know his apartment is just across the hall. You don't understand why he's doing all this. Not really. But you're glad of the company. You've never slept anywhere alone before. You'd had your mom and brother in the house. Then Rory after that. For seven years after that. And now, somehow, a mob boss is in your kitchen ordering sweet and sour and egg rolls. It's a lot to process.

So when Bucky walks back around the corner and finds you very quietly having a break down into the nearest pillow, he makes a soft noise and kneels in front of you, "Hey, shh, it's okay," his big hands are clumsy as they pet your hair and fumble a linen handkerchief out of his pocket.

"I'm s-so-sorry-" you stutter, trying to pull yourself together. You aren't even sure why you're crying. Not really. Objectively, you know that this is a gift. That this was the best possible outcome of your separation from Rory. That if things had gone differently, you'd be a statistic. Another death. Barely a blurb in the paper about your murder. But between a client finding you bleeding on the ground and Bucky spotting you after that... This is as unlikely as winning the lottery. And now there's even someone who wants to protect you. You have no reason to be crying, but you still can't stop.

"Don't be sorry," he said softly, "You've got a lot on your mind, baby." He doesn't know what to do when a woman is crying, and it's genuine anymore. This isn't a tantrum about presents. This is a broken heart. A body that just can't take much more. And he knows that because ever since he met you, even though you knew he had money and was gonna tip well regardless. You'd never asked him for shit. You hadn't asked him for anything all day except an arm to lean on up the stairs. Hell. You hadn't even asked him for dinner. You'd mentioned going to the store to cook him something. But he doesn't know what to say. All he can do is feel like an idiot and let you cry. When the tears slow down, he gives you a second to wipe your face and goes to get you a glass of water.

Your hand is trembling when you take it, and he frowns, "We gotta get some food in you," he murmurs, "The little one's gotta be getting hungry." He smiles a little and cups your cheek, pleased when you lean into the touch for a second.

"Probably," you tell him, "I was too nervous to eat earlier."

"About what?"

"About what mama was gonna say. About everything."

Bucky nodded, "And what did she say?"

"Nothing. Which means she's beyond furious... When she calls to yell at me, I'll tell her about the baby then. Just rip the whole bandaid off. At least then, the most she can do from that far away is yell." You look away, and Bucky frowns. He doesn't like that. You could have died. Rory could have killed you in that blind spot in the parking lot. He means to tell you all that, but there's a knock on the door, and he goes to answer it.

His guys don't knock like that, so it's probably the delivery driver. Which is good. He's anxious to get you taken care of, and you'll sleep better with a full stomach. He can't stay all night, but he can stay long enough to get you settled in. He pays the kid, gives him a nice little wad of tip money, and turns back to the living room. "Sit," he scolds, "I can do this. All I want you to do is stay down. It's breaking my heart watching you wince every time you move."

"Bucky-"

"No," he said, kissing your cheek and handing you a soda. "You gotta get better. You got a baby on the way, sweetheart," he reminded gently, "They're gonna need you in fighting shape."

"Helping you get food out isn't exactly strenuous," you pout, taking the plate he hands you.

"No," he allows, "But you've been up too much today. You're supposed to be taking it easy for a bit."

"I did-" you start to protest.

"Look darlin'," he said, laughing, "I know. You're a badass. A real tough cookie. But cracked ribs are cracked ribs, and a broken arm is a broken arm. I know. You could have managed. That isn't the point. The point is I want a healthy mama and a healthy baby. And that means you gotta slow down and let people do shit for you." He takes a bite of his dinner and gives you his best, "I'm not foolin' around" face, "Now," he said softly, "Eat and just be still for a minute. Let me enjoy eating dinner with a pretty girl."

You take a bite obediently but not because he told you to. You take a bite because if you don't distract yourself with something, you're gonna start crying all over again.

Bucky doesn't press anymore. Or scold. But he does keep plying you with food until you protest. "Bucky, if I eat anything else, I'll be sick," you tell him.

He just gives you a sheepish little smile and kisses your cheek, "You're eating for two, though. Had to make sure you ate enough to make up for not eating all day."

"Bucky," you snort, rubbing your stomach, "The baby is just getting started. We're okay."

"Well yeah," he said, putting a hand on yours, "But I wanna keep it that way." He grins up at you, "Bet you'll look real cute with a tummy." His heart stutters just a little. There's a slight curve there where he knows there wasn't before when he met you. He'd love to spend a bit more time lavishing attention on your physical body, but he pulls away gently. Your heart is fragile. Very fragile. And he doesn't want to press his current advantage. Even if you'd enjoy yourself. You need rest, and he has months of fantasies coming to fruition in his mind. He can't just stop once he starts. Or at least, he doesn't trust himself to.

Your cheeks heat and you bite your lip, "But-"

"No buts," he murmurs, "I told you I was gonna make it right, Y/N. I can't change what he did to you. Or how he treated you. But I can treat you better. I can keep you safe." He doesn't tell you that he loves you. That he wants you to put his name on the birth certificate. Or that he'd rather take you across the hall and put you in his bed. Or any of the other things he wants to say. He knows he's got to take this slow, but he can't just let you think you deserve what Rory did to you.

"Let me make this right, doll," he pleads softly.

"You've already done more than anyone expects you to," you tell him, looking away.

"But not as much as you deserve," he says softly. "I watched him take advantage of you for months," Bucky rumbled, "And I stayed out of it because of the way you smiled when you said his name. But darlin', when he put his hands on you that night, I should have broke him in half. You deserve to be pampered and spoiled within an inch of your life. Let me show you what that can be like, huh? At least... at least let me help you get ready for the baby. I know you can do this alone. I don't want you to."

"Is that all you want?" you ask slowly.

"No," he said honestly, "But we don't have to do anything you don't want baby. This isn't about my dick. This is about making sure my girl gets what she needs."

"Your girl, huh?"

"Yeah," he said, tilting your chin up slowly with a smile, "You ruined me for anyone else, baby. Showed me what a good girl is supposed to look like... I can't deal with these other women. I tried. Made me wanna shoot myself in the head to make them stop talking."

You snort, and he takes your hands, "So, sorry, Sugar," he murmurs, "You're all mine now. I just gotta make you believe it. Let me try?"

"What if you don't think I look cute anymore once I start getting fat?" you tease.

Bucky kisses you softly, just a whisper of a kiss that still makes you whimper, "Nice try, baby girl," he scolds softly, "Gettin' a little plump isn't gonna change your heart. And that's what I'm after." He doesn't want to get into details right now. But curves aren't a problem for him. He likes a little feminine softness after a long, stressful day.

"You say that now," you caution.

But Bucky just laughs and kisses you again. He wants another taste of you. And to stop you trying to burst his bubble. Now that he has everything he ever wanted, no one is gonna talk him out of it. Not even you.

[trashtheater101]

Prompts

Been meaning to make this for a while: Free list of skele-prompts! No credit needed (although I’d love to read it if you make one, maybe drop me a note?), and feel free to change ANY of the details or ships. This list is meant to ✧INSPIRE✧ not restrict. 

These are largely old ideas that I realize I’m probably never going to get around to writing myself and thought I’d share. Mostly Papcest, but there’s some left open for Fontcest and Sanscest, and you can always change it up. I probably forgot some, so I’ll add to it as I remember them.

RoyalMoney (Poppy/Cash)

Poppy is a wealthy, and unbearably bored Nigerian prince. Kept safe and sound, a prisoner in the castle by his overprotective brother, Poppy is allowed only limited contact with the guards or servants, and nothing at all with the outside world. When a thief breaks in through his bedroom window (captured easily by the Great Prince Poppy! He’s sheltered, not helpless!), Poppy can't help being intrigued… [His brother can shove it; He’s decided to keep this one.]

Fellcest (Red/Edge)

Red is a scientist. Or at least he used to be. He’s studied the wonders of the universe, tested the limits of time-space, and even broken through the divides between worlds. […none of it compared to learning the way his brother reacts to flirting.]

SpicyHoney (Edge/Stretch(Rus))

Edge is a loyal knight, through and through, and Rus is the true heir to the throne. Edge is determined to protect him no matter the cost. Even now that the kingdom has been overthrown and they were barely able to escape with their lives. Even now that they must keep moving, and live in hiding, lest Rus be captured and executed. Even though Rus is used to being pampered and spoiled, and Edge is the only one left to treat him with the sort of devotion and reverence that a true prince deserves. [Originally a Edge x Anyone, but the pouty, stubborn prince kept morphing into Rus, soooo…]

Edge and Stretch are stuck in a car together for a long trip, and expect to bicker the whole time. Unfortunately 5 minutes in one of them accidentally confesses. Neither are prepared for this, and now the car ride is spent dealing with THIS instead... oh dear… 

Stretch needs to get a physical. Cool, no big, even doctors aren’t sure what to do with a pile of bones, so no point in being embarrassed, and—bonus!—most don’t know how skeleton magic works, so he gets to skip the more invasive stuff. Except—wait—this time his doctor is a skeleton? A really hot skeleton?? And since Stretch is missing so much from his chart, he’s getting a THOROUGH exam??? ...great… [Bonus points for Stretch aggressively flirting to hide his nerves, “w-wow doc. i don’t usually spread my legs before the first date, haha. guess you must be special.”]

SpicyBBQ (Edge/Slim)

Edge’s new lamia is a dominant type, strong, and eager to breed him. But Edge isn’t inclined to submit, and he’s pretty sure he knows exactly how to tame his horny pet. [Succeed or fail, both are tasty~.]

MapleBlossom (Slim/Papyrus)

Slim is the lead singer/guitarist/drummer in an up and coming band. Hanging out at an afterparty of one of his shows, some cute little groupie, or a fan, or whatever, catches his attention when they start chatting him up. Slim is charmed, and while he’s got a pretty firm rule about not fucking the fans, he’s gotta make an exception this time. He’s gonna rock this groupies world. [Except that Papyrus isn’t a groupie. Or a fan. He was just invited along by a friend and thought this stranger might want someone to talk to. But boy is he flattered by all the attention! Is this… flirting?!?] 

SweetMoney (Sugar(HT!Pap)/Cash)

Taking his first ever train trip to the big city, Sugar ends up sitting next to a stranger. Cash seems friendly enough on the ride, but when they get off he refuses to leave??? He keeps insisting it’s too dangerous for someone like Sugar to be alone in the city, and that all well and good, but Sugar’s pretty sure he has a stalker now??? Blood had warned him about this… oh well… For a stalker, Cash is awfully charming. 

Edge x _______

Edge is an Alpha. All the Papyruses are Alphas, so of course he’s an Alpha. He is the most Alpha-y-est Alpha to ever Alpha, thank you very much. And as long as he keeps taking his Alpha-supplements, surely no one will be any the wiser. But the supplements can only repress his instincts so much when he’s surrounded by so many fine, aggressively-dominant Alphas. And let’s be real, how long would it really take a group of Alphas to notice an Omega in their midst? [Easily could be one-on-one, but this prompt is feeling pretty gang-bang-y to me~] 

In hindsight I think I may have seen this idea around before (so let me know if it’s already a thing…), but Edge as a Heinz Doofenshmirtz-(Or like MegaMind, Dr. Horrible, fuckin.... Team Rocket??)-style villain! Over the top dramatic! But also pretty ridiculous... But definitely EVIL!!!!! But also is he though??? Red is his henchman. His love interest can be the Hero, but also could be his usual kidnapping victim, or the cute skele from the laundry mat, or I suppose his henchman, or a brand-new unique dynamic! 

Loud Top Edge. That’s really all I’ve got for this prompt. It really didn’t have to be under Edge specifically… you could make it anyone, but I was thinking of Edge. ...as just... a… noisy… really verbal top... yeah...~<3

Papyrus x _______

Someone has been stealing apples from Papyrus’s apple orchard, and he is determined to catch the culprit! [Well, it turns out the culprit happens to be very attractive and that is a whole new, very different problem!]

Papyrus x _______/Sans x _______

Undertale is Universe 0. It’s the base, the original, the one every universe is spun off of. As such, there is some sort of general law of attraction pulling all the copies towards their originals. Or at least, that’s Sans’s theory anyway. That would explain all these Sans’s that keep hitting on him and—don’t think i don’t notice the rest of you making passes at my bro-! are you looking for a b a d  t i m e ? 

Bonus Lamia prompt

[A]’s lamia goes into a submissive heat. No matter what they do, however, [A] can’t seem to satisfy them. A quick google search reveals their lamia is looking to be bred with eggs, but—uh—[A] can’t produce eggs, and neither of them really want kids yet anyways, and—hey, you can buy safe to insert pseudo-eggs!—Don’t worry baby, I’m gonna give you just what you need~ 

- - - - -

A list of loose themes and thoughts. Poke through and see if anything catches your attention. Or maybe mix some together? (Conveniently numbered for a random number generator!) 

1. Bitties

2. Asleep on shoulder

3. Shopping trip

4. Bandaging after sparring 

5. Broken down car

6. Attractive salesman

7. Trapped in a box~ 

8. Good old fashioned temporary amnesia 

9. Is that a dog in your jacket? 

10. “If you touch him I will END you...!”

11. Crossover

12. Lamias

13. The meal was unrecognizable...You eat it anyways. 

14. Classic fairytale, but with a twist! 

15. A more obscure fairytale. (With all the ‘wtf??’s they tend to entail.)

16. “Please tell me you meant to do that...”

17. Ectoboobies

18. “God, you’re so hot… You look hot! SWEATY! Do you want a drink!?!?”

19. “F-FLIRTING? SO YOU FINALLY REVEAL YOUR ULTIMATE FEELINGS!?”

20. Borrowed pajamas

21. Candle light

22. BEACH DAY

23. Someone not normally collared: collared~! 

24. “Sit down and shut up! ...I’m going to serenade you now.”

25. “What will it take to make you realize I’m no good for you?” 

26. Running out of water

27. Physically shielding from harm

28. Can’t stop staring

29. Broke something important

30. He only ever acted like this when he was covered in dust…

31. Well... people always say you should marry a doctor

32. “I think I’m falling for you” 

33. “Guess you fell for me~” 

34. A bad vacation

35. Missing the bus 

36. A WAY too fancy restaurant

37. Good morning kiss

38. That’s probably a serial killer chasing you tbh. 

39. Lost & alone… 

40. Annoying Dog is secretly a matchmaker

41. A goodbye note

42. Freezing cold

43. A slow dance after the lights go down

44. Exploring

45. Hey! You’re that actor/singer/etc I like-! Why are you grinding on me!?!? 

46. “I failed you…”

47. A non-traditional Heat symptom

48. Soul-bonding: the aftermath. 

49. 2 dudes sittin in a hot tub, 5 ft apart cause they’re very gay and sorta nervous and-gosh-it sure is hot in this hot tub… 

50. Flowey: “Okay, look. I don’t normally give advice but…”

[regrettablewritings]

navy,teal, lapis & baby blue for dewey!!

Hell yii!! Stuff below the cut!

Navy (If they could own any animal, either real or mythological, what would they pick?): Dewey thinks it would be wicked cool if he had a pet dragon. Think of how awesome it’d be: He could feed it pizza, nobody would bother him when he goes out to the park, he could fly it to work instead of the same old commute, he could pose with it for his album cover -- Oh, wait, but the cost of taking care of that bad boy would probably be expensive as shit. And for anything to be able to carry him (much less fly with him on their back) would have to be pretty huge . . . And his apartment barely has enough space for all his stuff . . . And then there’s the whole fire-proofing everything . . . You know what? Screw it, he wants a dog. But maybe a dog with wings. A hellhound? Hm . . . A friendly hellhound? Hell yeah.

Teal (How do they flirt?): With Dewey, there’s the expectation and the reality. To Dewey, if he plans on becoming a rock god, he needs to see himself as smooth, confident, and cool. He expects words to just come oozing out his mouth like sugar drawing in a bee. But the reality is that underneath all that confidence, Dewey knows he’s not exactly prime real estate. Even after cleaning up his act, making big boy choices, and moving out into his own apartment, he still doesn’t see himself as cream of the crop material down at The Roadhouse. But he can’t let a potential partner see that, so he can’t let any of that show. It’s actually a bit commendable to see him try to flirt with someone whom he deep down considers out of his league. He tries to use his music smarts but sometimes gets so into it that any responses or even disinterest go over his head. Frankly, Dewey just does better in a setting where no flirting is expected at all. That is to say, probably a friends-to-lovers situation. This is because they know him, he knows them, they can be lax around each other and let loose. Dewey feels comfortable making certain jokes and knowing they’re likely to land, and if they’re in the right environment, he can share his musical thoughts with them and it’s actually quite endearing.

Lapis (Are they superstitious?): I think all showmen are a bit superstitious to an extent. Before starting School of Rock, Dewey had a tendency to pray before each performance that a music agent would be in the crowd and scope him out and take him on Valkyrie wings to the top of Mt. Rock. He still does pray even after SoR is established, but he’s not as bent on skyrocketing to fame; now, it’s more about making sure the performance goes great and that there aren’t any technical difficulties. He also has a lucky t-shirt (the skull and crossbones made of eggs and bacon), a lucky hoodie (his red one and literally the only hoodie that has survived all the years of partying), a pair of lucky boxers (they have BB-8 print!), and now a lucky bow tie (it’s literally just green with little red electric guitars on it). He can never be too lucky, given his track record.

Baby Blue (What Greek god/goddess are they most like?): Dionysus. He’s thicc, he’s a party boy, they both own Hawaiian shirts . . . It just fits. Had Dewey stuck around in college long enough, he probably would’ve crashed a frat party dressed as Dionysus and made a few friends. If I’m allowed to bend gender, though, I could also see Dewey as being similar to Calliope, the Muse who presides over epic poetry and eloquence. Granted, Dewey isn’t the most poised speaker (or person, actually), but he certainly is passionate! We see this during his performance of “In the End of Time”, which is, in fact, an epic depicting basically how a man (cough-Dewey-cough) kept true to the way of rock by pursuing his passions even in the face of adversity. If I’m allowed to stretch just a bit further, it should also be noted that Calliope is often depicted with her children. While the kids may not be Dewey’s own actual children, it’s clear that they’re all close and he even poses a tiny hint of paternal instinct towards them. So I’m making it count!

Thanks for asking, this was fun!!