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starglow-xx · 3 years

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retrouvaille

nakajima atsushi x f!reader

fandom: bungou stray dogs

content: hurt comfort, fluff

warning! : mentions of abuse

type of work: one-shot

synopsis: he left the orphanage, and that meant he had to leave you too; fortunately, this time, it seems like the universe was on your side

a/n: this is kinda self indulgent bc ive been feeling kinda down lately...?? and this has been sitting in my drafts for a while now and i havent posted in a while so killing three birds w/ one stone ig

the word retrouvaille is a french noun...

The moment you stepped foot into the armed detective agency, heterochromia eyes met your (e/c) ones.

You notice several agents talking and walking over to assist you, but you drown them out only having focus on the gray haired male ten feet away from you.

Said male takes a small step forward with uncertainty and disbelief laced in his voice.

“(y-y/n)...?”

At the sound of your name, your eyes immediately begin to water and with pure relief in your voice, you softly sob his name; the name of the boy who comforted you when you were both still in that wretched place.

“Atsushi...”

With all hesitation gone, Atsushi runs over to you shoving through his surprised and confused coworkers and wraps his arms tightly around you.

The force of the hug causes the both of you to stumble and harshly crash to the ground beneath you.

But the two of you didn’t care.

In his arms was a person Atsushi thought he’d never be able to see again.

In his arms was the same girl who snuck him food from the kitchens, the girl who stole medical supplies from the infirmary to treat his wounds, to take care of him when he was sick, and the girl who received punishment after punishment for insisting on staying with him inside his damn cell.

You gave him happiness in place where he should’ve never been able to receive it.

As if he ever felt like he deserved it in the first place.

You’re too good for him, but yet you still chose him.

You, his sweet and kind, his so very kind, and so very beautiful girlfriend, chose him, the cursed, good for nothing orphan.

The orphanage staff treated you considerably better before the two of you were acquainted, so Atsushi knew he was the problem. That he was the reason why tears would fall onto your beautiful face, why bruises and scars would litter your arms and legs, and why the staff would call you awful, degrading nicknames about you and or your virtue.

He had always thought that he wasn’t good for you, that he didn’t deserve you, that you could do better, but you stayed by his side regardless of his fears and insecurities, and provided him the strength and comfort he had always been deprived of.

And to his very surprise, he found that you found your own strength and comfort in him.

So he knew that you must of cried for weeks after he was kicked out, that you must’ve been devastated to wake up one morning only to learn that he was gone without a trace.

There wasn’t a single day that he never thought of you.

Atsushi wanted to go back for you, he really did; he wanted to storm into the orphanage with members of the armed detective agency, his new family, right at his tail before eventually reuniting with you.

But he didn’t do that.

Ultimately, he chose to leave you out of the mess that came with his job knowing that you would be eventually targeted and used against him if anyone found out about what he had with you.

So he kept quiet.

No mafioso, government agent, foreign organization, nor agency member had a clue about your connection with him, much less your existence.

He told himself that when things have calmed down by a considerable amount, he would go back and get you, with or without the agency backing him up.

Unfortunately, he knew that time of peace was far from the present.

But to see you, in your beautiful glory, standing at the threshold of the agency?

His original plan to keep you away from Yokohoma flew out the damn window.

At the sight of you, his heart did backflips and his legs almost gave out.

Ignoring the jelly feeling in his legs and the loud pounding of his heart, he raced around the desks and his coworkers—nearly fully crashing into Dazai in the process—to once more engulf you into his arms.

As for you?

When you saw him, you felt like you were going to pass out.

Your legs grew weak, your entire body was shaking, and tears started to fall down your face.

He was here.

He was safe and he was alive.

You mourned his abrupt disappearance from the orphanage and spent most of your time worrying about his well being.

The staff thought you were pathetic, that you sulked and cried over someone who they thought should disappear off the face of the earth.

They could insult and beat you all you want, but you drew the line when it came to Atsushi.

Finally having enough of everything, you planned your escape.

You were patient; you never jumped the gun nor gave anything away. You planned everything to the very last, minute detail, and after a few more months of abuse and waiting, you put your plan into action and left in the dead of night.

Thankfully, a kind old couple took you after you had collapsed in the streets. You worked job after job after job to return everything they had spent on your behalf even after they had told you not to worry about it.

And after another few weeks, you finally caught wind of your lost boyfriend tracking him down to Yokohoma through an old newspaper article.

Knowing your boyfriend, and yourself, you knew that tears would easily escape both of your eyes due to the long duration of your separation, but you weren’t expecting to find yourself crashing onto the floors of the armed detective agency curtesy of Atsushi.

But, you wouldn’t have it any other way because in your arms was the boy who gave you comfort during the most darkest days in the orphanage, the boy who laid you in his lap or on his stomach stroking your hair so you would fall asleep, and the boy who often threw himself in front of you so you would remain unharmed.

You choked on your sobs as you tightened your own hold on him and they gradually grew louder as you buried your face into the shoulder of his white button up.

Through his own choked sobs and teary eyes, Atsushi gently maneuvered the two of you so that you would be lying on his stomach—a familiar position the two of you would lay in back in the orphanage.

He gently stroked his fingers through your hair and softly rubbed your back as he whispered the familiar sweet nothings into your ears.

“It’s okay, I’ve got you.”

“I’m okay, you’re okay, we’re okay...”

“I’m here, just let it all out..”

Overwhelmed with your emotions, his sweet words only started to make you cry more.

You’ve missed him so much.

Your tears easily soaked his both his shirt and his neck, and you tried to speak only for you to choke up. Atsushi simply just started to shush you—as you would to a baby—and placed a kiss to your forehead as he continued to comfortingly stroke your hair and rub your back.

With the both of you off into your own little world, a world consisting only of the two of you, reactions and looks from the Armed Detective Agency went unnoticed.

It didn’t take long for them to realize the kind of relationship you and Atsushi had.

But what surprised them was Atsushi’s behavior.

The young adult they knew tended to be unsure of everything, including himself, and stammered whenever he was nervous.

But the young adult currently in front of them had this new aura of maturity; he didn’t hesitate to touch you or to comfort you, and for the first time they’ve seen in a while, he was sure of himself; he wasn’t nervous at all.

With the amount of comfortability Atsushi had around you, and the tender, loving care he showered you in, it was clear that you certainly were someone special to their tiger.

Your sobs slowly turned to small hiccups, and Atsushi’s face turned to one of pure tranquility and content, having his lover back in his arms.

Although having calmed down, what Atsushi said to you next made you want to start bawling all over again.

“I’m sorry I left you, and I promise I didn’t forget about you,” he whispered softly, “I thought of you every day. I still do. The thought of being able to see you again is what kept me going.”

You buried yourself further into his shoulder as you gripped his white button up in your hands.

“And thanks to the armed detective agency, I’m stronger now. I won’t let anybody hurt you, not anymore. That, I promise you.”

Actually taking a look up from you, Atsushi ended up locking eyes with Dazai, who had a gentle look on his face.

His senior only closed his eyes, tilted his head down softly, and lightly chuckled before opening his brown eyes once more, giving Atsushi a look of approval.

The gray haired teen’s eyes widened slightly as he looked around the room only to be met with similar looks of approval and gentleness from his seniors and coworkers.

He felt his eyes tear up again, but instead let out a relieved sigh as he tightened his hold on you slightly.

“Hey Atsushi...” you softly murmured.

Equally as soft, he answered, “Yes (y/n)?”

“...I love you...”

Your lover smiled before placing another kiss onto your forehead.

“I love you too (y/n)”

At last, the girl he loved was back in his arms, and the boy you loved was back within your reach.

And neither of you were ever going to let each other go again.

and it means, the joy of meeting or finding someone again after a long separation, a rediscovery

as always, reblogs and shares are appreciated! i hope you all stay safe! and just in case nobody told you they loved you today, i love you! you are enough! <3

writing belongs to me! please do not plagiarize! the reblog button is there for a reason

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materialwoman · 3 years

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❦ 　*　 ❝　 𝐓𝐀𝐌𝐌𝐘 𝐒𝐈𝐍𝐂𝐋𝐀𝐈𝐑 + 𝐀 𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐄𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐄 , FROM EARLY LIFE TO MODERN TIMES .

▌ 𝐀 𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐏𝐋𝐄𝐓𝐄 𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐄𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐄 𝐄𝐗𝐏𝐋𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆 key - points of tammy’s life, ranging from her family ties and professional aspirations to her involvement with crime. it’s a rather long and rambly collection of thoughts, so sadly i’ll have to keep most of it under a read more. this covers all of the main arcs i write on this blog :

[ ♡ ] arc i , youth / teen / young adult years

[ ♡ ] arc ii , adult / pre - canon

[ ♡ ] arc iii , adult / canon

[ ♡ ] arc iv , adult / post - canon

▌ 1974 - birth ,

december 16, 1974. circa 7am. tamasin sinclair, the second daughter of the ferguson-sinclair family, is born. she’s a giggly baby girl, but often cries when far from her mother, veronique. her favorite people to be around are her big sister, olivia, and katherine, her grandmother.

▌ 1980 - age six ,

a six years old tammy travels overseas for the first time, having europe as a destination. she’s taken to london, for a fun week under the cares of her favorite grandmother, while her father attends a law conference in the city. for the first time, she sees the world beyond her mother’s eyes, following katherine around events, fun sleepover nights and even her day-to-day life at the dance academy’s office - with an outrageous amount of a new discovered common obsession: british vogue.

▌ 1983 - age nine ,

she’s nine years old when her younger sister is born. louisa is bubbly; a funny little child that amused tammy in every way. olivia and herself would spend hours around the crib, even more than their own mother, who would often be off working or dealing with her own set of concerns. the sisters would take care of lulu, as they called her, whenever they could; she was their new favorite little person.

▌ 1990 - age sixteen ,

tammy reaches the age of sixteen, and as a gift from her other grandmother, virginie, is invited to spend a couple of weeks with her in paris. the woman, a strict and straightforward art curator, has no doubts a young lady such as tamasin could use a little time with her to learn new things about modern womanhood. the visit went well, although tammy did spend more time trying to convince virginie to take her to one of her fancy events or a fashion week than listening to her grandma’s teachings. virginie was not very pleased.

tammy’s aunt, uma sinclair, has her own idea of a gift for the soon to be young woman in the family -- one the girl would enjoy much more, as well. the blond ambition world tour reaches new jersey, the closest to tammy’s home. she hears as madonna sings about love, friendship, fashion, and some much better takes on modern womanhood. she would never be the same.

▌ 1992 - age eighteen ,

at age eighteen, tamasin graduates from high school. her biggest interests during the previous years were fashion, creative writing and the influence of women in culture and society. her main graduation choices were psychology and journalism, where she hoped to discuss some of her passions through the gift of writing. [ ... ] against all of her efforts, tammy has no support from her parents to follow any of her careers of choice. she’s advised ( although practically induced ) to follow the path of those before her, and very much like her parents and her older sister, ends up enrolling into pre-law school. it was the one moment when tammy got the closest to being the daughter veronique ever dreamed of having.

▌ 1993 - age nineteen ,

despite veronique and laurent’s attempts to keep their daughter under their watch, tamasin decides to move out of the family house and start over, this time making things her way. she moves into an apartment in the big city, alongside with olivia, and no longer having financial support from her parents, starts working at a diner in new york city. she drops out of pre-law school after one semester.

as louisa, her little sister, reaches the age of ten, olivia and tamasin notice there’s something wrong. the little girl that once was a wild spirit started to seem less and less bright, and their mother seemed to be the reason of such change. they’ve been there before: they knew what she does. tammy goes to their grandmother, which intervenes and asks veronique to let the sisters take care of lulu for some time. she’d be constantly helping when needed, as well, while veronique took some time to take care of herself. although not content, the mother agrees. the older sisters take lulu to their apartment in nyc, and keep raising a strong, bright little girl for the next many years.

1993 - 1997 . tamasin, olivia and louisa carry a light, fun day-to-day life in their apartment in nyc. the three of them have their own studies and personal matters, as the eldest finishes law and looks forward to building a family already, tammy studied and explored her ambition, while both raised a much more hopeful little lulu.

▌ 1994 - age twenty ,

noticing tammy’s resilience and quick wits, tammy’s coworker invites her to take a small part on a con one night. her sense of adventure, ambition and the undeniable need for extra cash in order to get into college again are decision makers: call her the newest fence in the business. well, figuratively. she didn’t truly know what that meant: only that she was good at it. [ ... ] one day, working at the diner, tammy catches a young woman trying to pickpocket one of the clients from behind the counter. enter debbie ocean - and tamasin doesn’t stop her, much on the contrary. she’s proud to quietly announce she’s done things of that sort, too. it’s a match made in heaven: if not even deborah had the eye to catch her as the type to con, who could ever suspect?

▌ 1995 - age twenty - one ,

tammy is introduced to lou miller, an australian con artist that soon became her other partner in crime. together, the three ladies take part on small cons, such as movie theater tickets, amusement parks, retail and similar. with them, tammy makes the extra money needed to start studying again. this time, she goes with journalism. [ ... ] tammy gets her first ever tattoo, a delicate little rose now marked onto the side of her ribcage. she tells everyone it was her choice because it was cute, but secretly likes to think of the strength of her delicacy represented in it.

▌ 1996 - age twenty - two ,

as a birthday gift, louisa and olivia give tammy a pet bunny. she calls him cherry.

tammy is introduced to danny ocean and his partner in crime, rusty ryan. it’s when debbie, lou and herself get the perspective of expanding the cons they’ve been working on. small casinos and events become their new target.

▌ 1997 - age twenty - three ,

as olivia graduates law and starts working at the family office, along come the news of the newest baby in the family. she gets married shortly after, moving out of the sisters’ apartment and into her own household. [ ... ] tamasin graduates from college, finally having her journalism degree.

▌ 1999 - age twenty - five ,

as grandmother virginie brings an art exhibit to new york, a twenty five years old tamasin is invited to attend the event. debbie, lou and tammy take advantage of her position and steal a piece from an adjacent exposition during the party. they go unnoticed, making thousands of dollars each. [ ... ] having her degree, tammy tries to get a job position at vogue magazine, as well as paper and vanity fair. she doesn’t get a call back after her interviews.

▌ 2000 - age twenty - six ,

tammy gets a new day job, at a flower shop. she works there for a few years, deeply resenting not being able to work on her dream field after finally being able to, and takes it out writing independent articles for her portfolio and shopping for designer clothes rather inconsequently at times.

▌ 2002 - age twenty - eight ,

tamasin gets a job at paper magazine, writing a monthly column about the representation of fashion in the media and exploring its influence in storytelling. finally, she’s able to work with her passions combined.

▌ 2003 - age twenty - nine ,

at age twenty, louisa moves out of the apartment, having recently graduated from the juilliard dance intensive program.

tammy continues to live in the apartment in nyc, where herself and the girls can meet up to plan future heists. even at this point, crime represents her main source of income, as her day job doesn’t pay quite as well as stolen goods and jewels. however, it’s not only for the money; tammy finds being a fence allows her to explore her ambition and sense of adventure, things long repressed after years being controlled by her parents’ will. surprisingly enough, she’s happier than ever.

▌ 2005 - age thirty - one ,

cherry, tammy’s pet bunny, passes away after nine years. [ ... ] after three years, tamasin leaves her job at paper magazine as she’s offered a position at W magazine, where she’s handed a column on the beauty section. [ ... ] following her acceptance into the royal ballet company, louisa makes the decision of moving to the united kingdom.

▌ 2007 - age thirty - three ,

tamasin is invited to the inauguration dinner party of olivia’s very own law office. at the event, she’s introduced to nicholas mcallister, a colleague lawyer to liv.

1998 - 2008 . tammy’s golden age of crime; acting as a fence, constantly developing her skills as a con artist. after years acting on unrelated events, casinos and parties, she develops a system of hijacking equipments trucks crossing the border from canada and reselling the goods on the black market. it lasts for years and grants her certain status on the underworld of crime as an experient, trustworthy fence in the business.

▌ 2008 - age thirty - four ,

one night, tammy receives the new that her younger sister, louisa, had been involved in a car accident and seriously injured her knee, compromising her debut on the royal company as a lead and, in a long term matter, her dancing career. tamasin travels to london immediately, offering her baby sister support and inevitably reconnecting with her parents. [ ... ] her sister’s injury was an undeniable step back on tammy’s life, and reconnecting with her mother due to the intense family trauma was a decisive point on the decisions she’d make from then on; being heavily criticized for not yet having a family in her mid 30s, unlike her older sister, who had perfectly built a family of her own while finishing law school, tammy finds herself deeply torn between the duality of her desires -- to stay in the city, investing on her career as a journalist and continue to explore how happy crime made her, or to finally settle down and think of building a family, bringing the life-long dream of motherhood to reality. finally, she decides it is time to take a step back, and chooses to retire from her career as a fence.

▌ 2009 - age thirty - five ,

as a consequence of laying low and removing herself from the crime scene, tammy grows lonelier every day. despite believing she could remain friends with debbie, lou, and all of her former con acquaintances, tammy came to realize it’d be harder than she thought to stay in touch while keeping a distance from crime. she agrees to go on a date with olivia’s fellow lawyer, nicholas, and a few weeks later, starts dating him.

▌ 2010 - age thirty - six ,

as of august 2010, during dinner, tamasin and nicholas get engaged. tammy grabs onto the planning of her wedding almost fiercely, and with the help of olivia, uma and katherine, builds a dream-like event to celebrate her union with nick.

▌ 2011 - age thirty - seven ,

save the date: tammy and nick’s wedding happens during spring, on a beautiful vineyard, and she’s as happy as one can be. the couple signs a prenup, and despite tammy’s absolute devotion to her relationship, she does not change her last name. she tells nick there’s no way she’d ever stop being a sinclair woman; that was something she hardly considered back then. the couple moves to a house in the suburbs outside of new york, where they plan to build a family together. she does not get rid of the sisters’ apartment.

▌ 2012 - age thirty - eight ,

tammy and nick have many attempts, but still find themselves unable to conceive a child. [ ... ] to better use her time, tamasin decides to enroll into univertity once again. she goes for marketing courses, knowing it can be of good use when working on her dream field, with critical and commercial writing.

▌ 2013 - age thirty - nine ,

on the first days of the year and after many attempts, tamasin discovers she’s pregnant. it’s a very calm pregnancy, and tammy has no trouble working from home for the same w magazine column on beauty. during her pregnancy as well, tammy graduates from marketing school, studying from home. through a c-section, she gives birth to twins, and calls them beatrice and benjamin.

▌ 2015 - age fourty - one ,

having the twins, tammy knows she wants more babies. nicholas and her decide there will be no other time to give that a try, and attempt to get pregnant once again. differently from the first time, this pregnancy happens easily, but definitely takes its toll on tamasin’s health and body. she decides to let go of her position at W magazine, dedicating her time to taking care of the twins as well as herself. during the months following august’s birth, tammy experiences postpartum depression.

▌ 2016 - age fourty - two ,

after years distanced from crime, and having plenty of time in her hands as an unemployed housewife, tammy falls into temptation

and reconnects with a former provider. she starts gathering goods stolen directly from fabric on her garage, and reselling such items to the black market. if you ask her about crime, she’ll say she’s retired. [ ... ] tammy gets her second tattoo, this time, even more discreet -- three little dots on the back of her neck, one for each of her children.

▌ 2018 - age fourty - four ,

despite making it clear that she’s out of the crime business, tammy gets a surprise visit from an old friend. debbie ocean makes a rather undeniable proposal: to join her and lou in a millionaire heist. she leaves for the big city in a matter of days, asking her sisters to keep an extra eye on the kids as she’s gone. she acts as a fence in the met gala heist of 2018 and goes unnoticed as the seven other members of her crew. once the heist is done, and after having another taste of just how exciting her life can be when she explores her greedy side, tammy realizes she does not want to go back to her life in the suburbs. it only adds up to the fact that she was no longer happy in her married life. as of the end of the year, tammy and nick file a divorce.

▌ 2019 - age fourty - five ,

after working for the met staff in 2018, tammy interviewed for a position at the vogue office. this time, she gets a call back, and is made a collaborator of vogue online, writing articles for the vogue.com website and supervising content creation for vogue america’s social media.

at the end of the year, she’s made one of the editors of vogue online, coordinating the creation of editorials and videos for vogue’s youtube channel.

for the first time, she covers new york fashion week and writes two articles analyzing chanel and ellie saab’s show. her work is vastly recognized by the industry and well received by the public.

▌ 2020 - age fourty - six ,

proving to be a skilled writer and creative director, tammy takes a long shot and asks for a chance to act as a collaborator to vogue magazine, the print. such position is ultimately granted, and tamasin continues to coordinate vogue online’s content as well as occasionally collaborate to print articles for the magazine.

▌ 2021 - age fourty - seven ,

after being granted her first chance at completely handling her previous position at the fashion print, tammy is named editor of vogue magazine. she mainly coordinates and keeps contacts for photoshoots, interviews, articles and columns. she occasionally acts as a collaborator as well, and is released from her position at vogue online.

2018 - future . tammy lives in a house in new york city with her three kids, benjamin, beatrice and august, and has finally been hired at the job of her dreams: vogue magazine. she continues to work on cons with her crew heist, and her career as a journalist only seems to be growing. keep an eye on that one: who knows when vogue might announce a new editor in chief?

#* ii. ╰ ♡ catch a wave & take in the sweetness › headcanon.#hello and welcome to my personal heaven... i have finally... finally finished this!!! yayyyy!!!!!#special thanks for gin and cora for hearing me ramble about this #and also reign for the wild help re: lulu's timeline in this #now a kiss for you miss tammy sinclair... and ur beautiful life

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aion-rsa · 3 years

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Best Games to Play in 2021

https://ift.tt/eA8V8J

While 2020 was a landmark year for the gaming industry thanks to the release next-gen consoles and PC graphics cards, there are plenty of exciting new games coming in 2021. From highly-anticipated sequels like God of War: Ragnarok and Resident Evil Village to brand-new experiences such as Chorus and Deathloop, there’s plenty to look forward to this year.

We’ve curated a list of the 2021 games we’re most excited about, including big AAA blockbusters as well as imaginative indie titles. Keep in mind that we’ve only included games that at the very least have a vague “2021” release window attached, which is why we’re not including games like The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild sequel, Elden Ring, or Final Fantasy XVI. We’ll of course update this article as new 2021 titles are announced.

Here’s what you have to look forward to this year:

The Ascent

TBA | Neon Games | XSX, XBO, PC

The Ascent was originally planned as an Xbox Series X launch title before it slipped into 2021. A twin stick shooter at its core, The Ascent features a cover system as well as the ability to target high and low points on enemies, all in a destructible, open world cyberpunk setting. You can also fully customize your character with a variety augments.

Though Neon Games is a small studio, Epic Games was so impressed with early work on the title, that Neon was awarded a grant to help cover development costs. We’re really looking forward to this smaller take on the cyberpunk genre.

Axiom Verge 2

TBA | Thomas Happ Games | Switch

Metroidvanias from indie developers are a dime a dozen nowadays, but the original Axiom Verge stood out thanks to its tight controls, varied weapons, and compelling story. Axiom Verge 2 looks to largely be more of the same, but with even better graphics and more complex enemy patterns. The game has been in development for the past four years, but should finally be out in early 2021.

Balan Wonderworld

March 26 | Balan Company and Arzest | XSX, PS5, PS4, XBO, PC, Switch

Balan Wonderworld is a modern take on classic platformers of the 32-bit era. You choose from one of two characters and explore a variety of worlds mixing reality and imagination, but the real hook is the 80 different costumes you can find that unlock new abilities for your characters.

The game was directed by Yuji Naka of Sonic the Hedgehog fame. Fans of the platformers of the early ’90s don’t want to miss this one.

Back 4 Blood

October 12 | Turtle Rock Studios | XSX, PS5, PS4, XBO, PC

Valve may not have been able to get its act together to make a new Left 4 Dead game, but the developer behind the best-selling franchise has a spiritual successor in the works. Just like in Left 4 Dead, you’ll team up with three other players to take on waves of the undead in missions that change every time you play. There will also be a competitive 4v4 mode with one team taking the role of the zombies.

We went hands-on with the Back 4 Blood alpha, and so far, it does play a lot like Left 4 Dead with updated graphics, which isn’t a bad thing at all if you miss the classic horde shooter. The card system, which bestows interesting perks (and buffs) to players and zombies, does add a bit of variety to the usual formula that make this one a sleeper hit in the streaming world.

Bravely Default II

February 26 | Claytechworks | Switch

The first two Bravely Default games released on the 3DS were typical fantasy RPGs bolstered by their unique risk-reward battle system. Players could use brave points to stack up attacks for big damage, or default to save them up and take less damage in a turn. It kept those games fresh, even if they sometimes dragged on for too long.

Bravely Default II brings the series’ unique combat exclusively to the Switch for the first time. And true to its Final Fantasy inspirations, the characters and story are completely original, so you don’t need any familiarity with the earlier games.

Chivalry 2

June 8 | Torn Banner Studios | XSX, PS5, PS4, XBO, PC

Chivalry: Medieval Warfare was a huge multiplayer hit on the PC when it was released in 2012. Unfortunately, with lagging developer support, most of the community moved on to other games long ago.

Now, Torn Banner is hoping to bring players back with the sequel, which boasts next-gen graphics, improved combat, and massive 64-player battles. Needless to say, Chivalry 2 could be the next big thing in multiplayer. The game is currently in Closed Alpha, so you might be able to check it out before release if you sign up here.

Chorus

TBA | Fishlabs | XSX, PS5, PS4, XBO, PC, Stadia

There’s been a serious lack of good third-person space combat shooters in recent years, but Chorus looks to rectify that. In this single-player game, you’ll play as Nara and her sentient ship Forsaken as they work together to track down the cult that created them in what Fishlabs is calling a “dark new universe.” It kind of looks like Goth Star Fox.

Unfortunately, we haven’t really seen anything more from Chorus since it was announced last summer. Hopefully, the radio silence ends soon.

CrossfireX

TBA | Smilegate Entertainment and Remedy Entertainment | XSX, XBO

CrossFire is a hugely popular tactical first-person shooter in China and South Korea, even though it’s barely made a mark in the West. Fortunately, Microsoft is bringing an updated version of the shooter exclusively to its consoles in hopes that it’ll catch on. Expect lots of tense, objective-based multiplayer action, and though the series isn’t known for its single-player, we’re looking forward to what Remedy can do with this mode hot on the heels of the excellent Control.

Like several of the titles on this list, CrossfireX was planned as a launch title for the Series X, but was delayed into 2021 due to development issues caused by the coronavirus pandemic. Let’s hope we don’t have to wait that much longer for this one.

Deathloop

May 21 | Arkane Studios | PS5, PC

What if you could combine the movie Groundhog Day with the Hitman series? It’s likely that no one had actually asked that question before Deathloop. You play as Colt, an assassin stuck in a time loop on an island in the midst of a party that resets every day. You have to eliminate eight targets before midnight and avoid dying yourself, or you’ll end up at the beginning of the loop again.

Deathloop also features a multiplayer component that allows players to jump into your game as an assassin named Julianna, who is tasked with taking Colt down before he can complete his mission. This PvP aspect should result in some very interesting playthroughs.

While Microsoft now owns Arkane as part of its purchase of ZeniMax Media and Bethesda Softworks, don’t expect Deathloop on the Xbox any time soon. It’s still launching exclusively on the PS5 and PC.

Diablo 2: Resurrected

TBA | Vicarious Visions | XSX, PS5, XBO, PS4, PC, Switch

While Diablo III’s reputation has improved substantially since its controversial 2012 launch, there’s still a vocal group of gamers who prefer the second game in Blizzard’s genre-defining action RPG series. Knowing how much this game means to a lot of people, Vicarious Visions has said it’s not out to reinvent the wheel for Resurrected. The updated 3D graphics will display in 4K, but you can switch back to the original graphics at any point with the press of a button.

And while there will be some quality of life improvements like a shared item stash and automatic gold pickup, don’t expect any revolutionary changes that will spoil the original experience. This should be exactly what we need to tide us over until Diablo IV hits.

Disgaea 6: Defiance of Destiny

June 29 | Nippon Ichi Software | Switch

After a couple of well-received remakes, the first new Disgaea title in more than five years should be out in 2021. This time around, the offbeat story focuses on Zed, a zombie who attempts to use something called “super reincarnation” to stop the seemingly invincible God of Destruction who is slowly destroying all worlds.

While both the PlayStation 4 and Switch are dialed in for Japanese releases in January, so far only a Switch version has been announced for the West.

Dungeons & Dragons: Dark Alliance

June 22 | Tuque Games | XSX, PS5, XBO, PS4, PC

Baldur’s Gate isn’t the only Dungeons & Dragons video game series back from the dead. The cooperative action-adventure series Dark Alliance once again allows players to journey into the world of the Forgotten Realms with up to three other friends online. And unlike Baldur’s Gate 3, Dark Alliance is releasing in completed form, so you can expect a full campaign right out of the box.

The Elder Scrolls Online: Blackwood

June 1 | ZeniMax Online Studios | XSX, PS5, XBO, PS4, PC, Stadia

Last year’s Elder Scrolls Online expansion finally brought the world of Skyrim to the MMO, and ZeniMax is keeping the blasts from the past coming. This year’s expansion, Blackwood, brings back elements from Oblivion, with a whole new campaign that sees you face off against Daedric Prince Mehrunes Dagon 800 years before the events of The Elder Scrolls IV. It’s all part of the year’s big Gates of Oblivion storyline.

The expansion adds the Blackwood region to the game, which includes the Imperial city of Leyawiin from Oblivion, and also finally brings a Companion system to the game. Recruit an NPC to fight by your side and explore the land of Tamriel.

Evil Dead: The Game

TBA | Boss Team Games and Saber Interactive | XSX, PS5, PS4, XBO, PC, Switch

The Evil Dead movies are considered all-time horror classics, but success has always eluded the franchise in the world of video games. But that could be about to change. Announced at The Game Awards, Evil Dead: The Game sees Ash and friends taking on waves of Deadites on several maps, including the iconic cabin in the woods. Gameplay appears to be similar to Saber’s previous adaptation, World War Z, which was a solid title that never quite seemed to find an audience.

Far Cry 6

TBA | Ubisoft | XSX, PS5, PS4, XBO, PC, Stadia, Luna

By now we all know what to expect from Far Cry: hop into a tropical paradise, blow up a bunch of outposts, and methodically take back the land from the big bad guy. After a detour into the American wilderness with Far Cry 5, the next entry in the series heads to Yara, a fictional Caribbean country heavily based on Cuba. And with Giancarlo Esposito of Breaking Bad and The Mandalorian fame playing the big bad El Presidente, you know we’re in for some especially awesome villainy.

Final Fantasy XIV: Endwalker

TBA | Square Enix | PS5, PS4, PC

After one of the worst MMORPG launches ever, it’s a miracle that Final Fantasy XIV is still around a decade later. Not only did Square Enix turn things around, this game is now regarded as one of the very best in the genre.

Endwalker, the game’s fourth major expansion pack will conclude the story of the warring gods Hydaelyn and Zodiark, which has been running since the game’s 2013 relaunch. This won’t be the end of the MMO, though. Square still says it has several years worth of stories to tell.

Along with the obligatory new zones and quests, Square has promised two new classes. The first one shown so far, the sage, is a healer who battles with floating swords.

Five Nights at Freddy’s: Security Breach

TBA | Steel Wool Studios | PS5, PS4, PC

The Five Nights at Freddy’s series has been terrorizing gamers for more than a half decade now, and Steel Wool Studio is looking to up the scares with the power of next-generation graphics. We don’t know how exactly the game will play yet, but the announcement video showcased a very cool looking shopping mall with an ‘80s motif. On the PS5 and PC, Security Breach will support real-time raytracing, so Freddy and the gang should look better than ever.

Ghosts ‘n Goblins Resurrection

February 25 | Capcom | Switch

After a lengthy absence, the crushingly difficult Ghosts ‘n Goblins series has been revived. Resurrection, which is a whole new installment and not just a remake, features the series’ classic 2D gameplay, with the knight Arthur fighting his way through hordes of monsters and environmental hazards. And of course, the new graphics look much better than the old NES and SNES games. Best (worst?) of all, this modern take is just as punishing as its predecessors so be prepared to die A LOT.

Ghostwire: Tokyo

TBA | Tango Gameworks | PS5, PC

Tango Gameworks has only released two titles to date: The Evil Within and its sequel. Anyone who played those games can tell you, the developers know horror. With a variety of deformed enemies and a mind-bending plot, The Evil Within titles are two of the scariest games of the last decade.

Ghostwire: Tokyo is a brand new IP that moves the action to the third-person. Instead of the typical firearms, you’ll be dispatching ghosts with psychic powers. Expect an exceedingly creepy experience regardless.

God of War: Ragnarok

TBA | SIE Santa Monica Studio | PS5

Sony has said almost nothing about the next God of War game except that it’s coming next year. One thing we do know is that Ragnarok is the mythical battle leading to the death of the Norse gods. With Kratos’ history of deicide, it only makes sense that he’ll be killing a whole lot of them in the next game. The previous title also hinted at a showdown with Thor, the god of thunder (no, not the Marvel guy), which should be pretty epic.

Guilty Gear Strive

June 11 | Arc System Works | PS5, PS4, PC

The latest in the long-running Guilty Gear franchise should be out early in 2021 with some interesting new fighters as well as exciting returning characters. There will be a dedicated dash button and a new feature will let opponents who are knocked into walls cling to them. If you can land enough attacks, you will break through the wall and initiate a stage transition.

Arc has promised “a completely new Guilty Gear” with Strive. We’re not sure about that, but the trailers showcasing the franchise’s trademark mix of 2D and 3D graphics look better than ever.

Halo Infinite

Fall | 343 Industries | XSX, XBO, PC

After a disappointing reveal last July, Halo Infinite was bumped from the Series X launch to Fall 2021. The game has been described as both a sequel and a “spiritual reboot” for the series, so it will be interesting to see how far 343 Industries handles Cortana’s heel turn after the fan backlash Halo 5: Guardians received.

Many fans weren’t happy to hear more microtransactions will be added to Infinite in the form of “coatings” (shaders) that can be purchased to customize Spartans in multiplayer. It doesn’t help that players have yet to even see any multiplayer gameplay from Infinite.

Hopefully, the delay will give 343 the time it needs to put out a game that lives up to the series’ reputation.

Hitman III

January 20 | IO Interactive | XSX, PS5, PS4, XBO, PC, Switch, Stadia

IO’s rebooted Hitman games are among the most underrated titles of the last few years, streamlining the series’ once finnicky systems and placing Agent 47 in huge sandbox levels with more ways than ever to eliminate his targets. If you own the previous two games, you can import maps and progress to take advantage of Hitman III’s improvements on any platform, but only the PS4 version will support the PSVR headset for the ultimate Hitman experience.

Horizon Forbidden West

TBA | Guerilla Games | PS5, PS4

Thanks to its unique post-post-apocalyptic setting and fluid gameplay, Horizon Zero Dawn was one of the best open world games of the previous generation. The sequel looks to out do the original with even more varied environments like deserts, beaches, and the ruins of San Francisco. And there will of course be more mechanized prehistoric beasts than ever before.

While Forbidden West is coming to the PS4 as well, the PS5’s DualSense controller should provide the definitive experience thanks to its haptic feedback. You should finally be able to feel what it’s like for Aloy to pull back on her iconic bow.

The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword HD

July 16 | Nintendo | Switch

The Legend of Zelda series turned 35 this year and Nintendo is celebrating the milestone with an HD remaster of one of the most underrated installments in the long-running franchise. Skyward Sword takes things back all the way to the very beginning of the Zelda timeline, telling the story of how the mythical Master Sword was created. Along the way, players are in for a fun adventure including some interesting experiments with motion control.

While it’ll likely never be as beloved as the games before it or Breath of the Wild, this Wii installment is still worth experiencing, especially if you missed it back in 2011.

Lego Star Wars: The Skywalker Saga

TBA | Traveller’s Tales | XSX, PS5, PS4, XBO, PC, Switch

There have been plenty of Lego Star Wars games, including one that already adapted the “complete” saga, but this will be the first to feature the entire Sequel Trilogy. Even if you’ve played through those other games, The Skywalker Saga will feature never-before-seen levels and gameplay.

Traveller’s Tales promises an absolutely massive game, too. Each of the nine films features five levels, and the movies can be played through in any order. Nearly 500 playable characters are expected to be included in the final game. We’d love it if Mando and Grogu make the final cut, too.

Mario Golf: Super Rush

June 25 | Nintendo | Switch

It’s been a while since Nintendo dropped a new Mario Golf game, but it’s finally happening on the Switch. While Super Rush offers up much of the same Mario Golf action you know and love, it does have an interesting new mode called Speed Golf, which pits competitors against each other as they race down the course in real time to see who scores first. It should add a bit of pep to the chill vibes of the series.

Mass Effect: Legendary Edition

May 14 | BioWare | XSX, PS5, PS4, XBO, PC

Nearly a decade since its conclusion, the Mass Effect trilogy remains a favorite among many gamers. BioWare hasn’t commented too much about what to expect from this remaster, but we know the visuals will be upgraded to 4K, and all of the excellent post-launch DLC will be included. The developer has also promised other upgrades to bring the titles up to modern standards, so maybe we’ll see some changes to the first game’s finicky combat. And if Bioware is feeling particularly ambitious, we might even get a few hints as to what they have planned for the upcoming sequel.

The Medium

January 28 | Bloober Team | XSX, PC

Originally announced way back in 2012 for the Xbox 360, PS3, and Wii U, The Medium was shelved for years due to technological constraints before finally resurfacing in 2020. Gameplay focuses on a medium who can instantaneously travel between the real world and the spirit realm to solve puzzles, something that just wasn’t possible until the current crop of consoles adopted solid state drives.

Bloober Team has quietly built a reputation for itself with excellent single-player horror games like Observer and Layers of Fear, and The Medium is their most ambitious game yet.

Monster Hunter Rise

March 26 | Capcom | Switch

The excellent Monster Hunter: World helped the series find a large audience in the West, although the game’s more demanding performance requirements kept it off the Switch. Fortunately, Rise is built specifically for Nintendo’s portable-console hybrid. And rather than a watered down port of World, Capcom this is a full-featured sequel with a new, more vertical map and all 14 weapon types from Monster Hunter: World and Monster Hunter Generations. If you’ve been waiting to jump on the Monster Hunter craze on the Switch, now is the time!

New Pokemon Snap

April 30 | Nintendo | Switch

Nintendo is unleashing peak late ’90s nostalgia with this revival of the Pokemon Snap series for the Switch. Wrapped in a modern package, New Pokemon Snap is more of the on-rails photography game you loved when you were a kid. The game features over 200 Pokemon to capture with your trusty camera, which you can upload online to share with other players. And true to the Instagram era, you can now touch up your pictures, adding blur and filters, adjusting the zoom, and more. This is a must-buy for Nintendo fans.

New World

August 31 | Amazon Games | PC

Amazon has had its sights set on the gaming world for quite some time, quietly pumping money into a number of projects, and New World could be its breakthrough hit. In this MMORPG set on an unnamed land in the Atlantic Ocean in the 1600s, you’ll wield bows, hammers, hatchets, magical staffs, musket rifles, spears, and swords against a variety of fantastical creatures. There will also be plenty of opportunities to gather resources, craft and build settlements. Best of all, there’s no monthly fee to play.

Launching a new IP is always difficult, and MMOs are a particularly difficult genre to break into, but if any company has the resources to succeed, it’s Amazon.

Nier Replicant ver.1.22474487139…

April 23 | Square Enix | PS4, XBO, PC

Before Nier: Automata was hailed as one of the best games of the last generation, there was simply Nier, a quirky, slightly janky action RPG that nevertheless found a devoted fanbase on the PS3 and Xbox 360. Square Enix has been cagey on exactly what improvements we’ll see in Replicant, an updated version of the original, saying only that it’s somewhere between a remaster and a full remake.

The screenshots we’ve seen so far look absolutely gorgeous, and the combat system will also be updated to more closely resemble Automata’s gameplay. Considering that Nier‘s graphics and combat were criticized at the time, Replicant could end up being the definitive version of the experience.

Ninja Gaiden: Master Collection

June 10 | Team Ninja | XBO, PS4, Switch, PC

Before there was Dark Souls, masochists flocked to the Ninja Gaiden series, which basically wrote the book on punishing action games. If you’ve been missing this franchise of late, Koei Tecmo is re-releasing three of the 3D installments in a sleek new collection for modern platforms. Included in the box are Ninja Gaiden Sigma, Ninja Gaiden Sigma 2, and Ninja Gaiden 3: Razor’s Edge, plus most of the downloadable content released for these games.

No More Heroes III

August 27 | Grasshopper Manufacture | Switch

Another game that was bumped into 2021 at the last minute, we actually haven’t seen that much from this one, even though it should be out soon. Screenshots show Travis Touchdown wielding his trademark beam katana and performing pro wrestling moves on enemies. And everything looks much better on the Switch than the first two games originally released on the Wii.

As we’ve all come to expect from Suda51 and Grasshopper Manufacture by now, the story sounds absolutely bonkers, involving a weird parody of E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial and aliens posing as superheroes who Travis must now defeat to save the world. It doesn’t make a ton of sense, but No More Heroes fans wouldn’t have it any other way.

The Outlast Trials

TBA | Red Barrels | PC

While The Outlast Trials will be the third game in the Outlast series, it won’t follow the plot of the previous games and instead will focus on the subjects of some sort of Cold War experiment. Those earlier games didn’t feature any combat, instead forcing you to evade enemies to survive, and it’s a safe bet that The Outlast Trials will follow a similar gameplay structure. It’ll also feature four-player co-op, a first for the horror series. Knowing Red Barrels, you should expect something really scary.

Outriders

April 1 | People Can Fly | XSX, PS5, PS4, XBO, PC

Outriders combines the shooter and RPG genres in some unique and engaging ways. At the start of the game, you’ll pick from one of four classes: the time manipulating Trickster, fire-controlling Pyromancer, the seismic-powered Devastator, or the Technomancer, each of whom has a full-featured skill tree. Some have compared the title to live service games like Destiny and The Division, but Outriders also has a style of its own, presenting itself as a grittier alternative to those games.

Persona 5 Strikers

February 23 | Omega Force and P-Studio | PS4, PC, Switch

It’s a tradition at this point for Atlus to spin-off a Persona game into as many other titles as possible. We’ve already seen rhythm and dungeon crawler spin-offs of Persona 5 (and even a Super Smash Bros. cameo from Joker), but this is The Phantom Thieves’ first foray into the hack and slash genre. Gameplay is a mix of the usual Dynasty Warriors combo attacks, but there are also turn-based persona battles as well. And of course, expect plenty of Persona 5’s usual style and flare.

Phantasy Star Online 2: New Genesis

TBA | Sega | XSX, XBO, PC

Wait, didn’t Phantasy Star Online 2 just come out? Well yes, but only in the West. Japan has been playing the game since 2012, which is why the MMORPG might feel a little dated. New Genesis is a half update-half sequel with updated combat, and for the first time in the series, open world areas. It’s more like the Final Fantasy XIV: A Realm Reborn update instead of a whole new game. The best part is that you’ll be able to transfer over your character from PSO 2 to New Genesis, and like its predecessor, it will be completely free-to-play.

Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time Remake

TBA | Ubisoft | PS4, XBO, PC

The Sands of Time was arguably the best game of the PS2 era, which is why a remake is long overdue. Fan reception regarding the new art style has been mixed, though it certainly does look better than the original 2003 release. But how this remake plays remains to be seen.

While lauded for its tight platforming and time-bending mechanics, The Sands of Time always suffered from lackluster combat. Let’s hope Ubisoft has ironed out all of the kinks with this remake, though.

Originally planned for a January release, Ubisoft recently pushed the game back to March 18, so we’ll have to wait just a little bit longer for the return of the Prince.

Psychonauts 2

TBA | Double Fine | XSX, PS5, PS4, XBO, PC

Fans have been waiting for a Psychonauts sequel for 15 years now. Fortunately, it looks like Double Fine’s follow up will finally see the light of day in 2021. The first game was praised for its varied levels and puzzles, and Psychonauts 2 will again see Raz delving into the psyches of other characters, with hilarious and frightening results. Raz won’t be completely alone for this journey as Double Fine has announced that he will be joined by a new glowing companion voiced by Jack Black.

Rainbow Six Quarantine

TBA | Ubisoft | XSX, PS5, PS4, XBO, PC

Rainbow Six Siege is still one of the most popular multiplayer games on the market years after its release, which is why Ubisoft isn’t looking to get in the way of its own success with Quarantine. While Siege focuses on PvP combat, Quarantine takes its inspiration from that game’s popular limited time Outbreak mode. In this spin-off, teams of three work together to eliminate an alien threat controlled by the AI in dynamic missions. The game won’t be completely independent from Siege though, with at least some of its roster of operators also being playable in Quarantine.

Ratchet & Clank: Rift Apart

June 11 | Insomniac games | PS5

There hasn’t been a bad Ratchet & Clank game yet, and Rift Apart seems poisted to continue that trend. The basic gameplay will be similar to the excellent 2016 reboot, but Insomniac is taking advantage of the power of the PS5’s SSD to introduce instant travel between completely different worlds. From what we’ve seen in gameplay trailer so far, the mechanic is very impressive in action. Equally stunning are the game’s visuals, which will support real-time raytracing and full 4K resolution.

Resident Evil Village

May 7 | Capcom | XSX, PS5, PC

Resident Evil Village is a direct sequel to Resident Evil 7: Biohazard, but don’t call it Resident Evil 8, as Capcom is emphatic that the focus will be on the mysterious occurrences in a European village and not the larger Resi universe. From the one trailer we’ve seen, we know that Ethan Winters will be returning from the previous game, and this time around he’ll be joined by series regular Chris Redfield.

Gameplay will again be in first-person, so you should notice quite a few similarities with Resi 7, but with improved graphics and much shorter load times since this will be one of the first major next-gen releases that won’t have a PS4 or Xbox One version.

Scorn

TBA | Ebb Software | XSX, PC

Scorn looks like an absolute nightmare, but in the best possible way. It is, after all, directly inspired by the art of H.R. Giger of Alien fame and Polish painter Zdzisław Beksiński. In Scorn, you play as a skinless humanoid searching for answers in a horrific techno-organic open world. At the very least, it promises to be the most disturbing title of the year.

Shin Megami Tensei V

2021 | Atlus | Switch

While the Persona spin-off series gets most of the attention nowadays, the original Shin Megami Tensei franchise is still going strong, and the latest title in the long-running series should be out worldwide next year.

This is the first Shin Megami Tensei developed using the Unreal Engine 4, so it should look fantastic, but expect similar gameplay to previous titles, including turn-based combat and lots of negotiating with demons to try to get them to join your party.

Super Mario 3D World + Bowser’s Fury on Switch

February 12 | Nintendo | Switch

When it was released in 2013, Super Mario 3D World was easily one of the best Mario games in years, effortlessly combining the 3D movement of newer games in the series with the level design and multiple characters of the original NES games. You could play as Mario, Luigi, Princess Peach, Toad, or Rosalina, and they could each don catsuits that opened up all sorts of new platforming opportunities. But maybe 10 people played it because no one bought the Wii U.

Fortunately, the game received the re-release it deserved this year. Plus you get a whole new campaign called Bowser’s Fury, an interesting twist on the usual Mario level structure that’s worth a playthrough.

S.T.A.L.K.E.R. 2

TBA | GSC Game World | XSX, PC

The original S.T.A.L.K.E.R. games were praised for their horrifying atmosphere, survival horror gameplay, and unique setting in the radioactive Chernobyl zone. Even now, almost 14 years after its release, Shadow of Chernobyl holds up pretty well, even if the graphics are dated.

At this point, we know more about S.T.A.L.K.E.R. 2’s troubled development than the game itself. The title was first announced in 2010, cancelled in 2012, and then revived in 2018. The trailer released in 2020 looks promising though, and Microsoft has announced that the game will be available via Game Pass on release day.

Valheim

February 2 | Iron Gate AB

Valheim came out of nowhere to become one of the big success stories of 2021, selling more than a million copies less than three weeks after its early access release. If you aren’t caught up on the latest Steam phenomenon, think of it as Minecraft mixed with Assassin’s Creed Valhalla. You and up to nine other friends are dropped off in the middle of a Viking afterlife to survive, craft, and battle mythical creatures.

Iron Gate AB has been vague about what exactly to expect from future updates, but the studio has teased future customization options for homes and ships, and eventually even a new biome to explore.

Warhammer 40,000: Darktide

TBA | Fatshark | XSX, PC

Fatshark’s previous Warhammer Vermintide games were among the best co-op titles of the last generation, featuring heart-pumping four-player multiplayer action against hordes of rat men. The latest installment, Darktide, has a lot in common with previous Vermintide games, except that the setting has moved to the sci-fi-heavy Warhammer 40,000 universe. Players will control members of the Inquisition, who are sent on a mission to exterminate a heretical cult known as The Admonition. The game will feature the same visceral melee combat as its predecessors, but this time all that killing is done for the glory of the God Emperor.

Wrath: Aeon of Ruin

TBA | KillPixel

First-person shooters have come a long way in the last couple of decades, but some times you just want to run and gun in a dark fantasy setting as quickly as possible. And remarkably few modern games provide that experience. Enter Wrath: Aeon of Ruin, a spiritual successor to Quake, Doom, and Hexen, built on the 25-year-old Quake Engine.

Wrath has been in Early Access since November 2019, and what’s been released so far is very promising, looking and sounding like a lost PC shooter from the late ‘90s. The full game should be out later this year.

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daughterofluthien · 4 years

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2, 4, 6, and 19?

askldfja thank u friend!

2. What’s next on your ‘to-read’ list? (Fan fiction or otherwise)

I’ve got a couple on the list as far as fanfic is concerned!

All for One, the newest in the Team Rebuilding series by LadyShelley

The latest chapters in Reprise IV by @elfpen

Remedial Jedi Theology by MarbleGlove

For non-fanfic, I’d really like to get around to reading The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes by Suzanne Collins at some point, as I’ve heard it’s quite good.

4. What fandom’s/ship’s fan fiction do you read the most?

That really depends on what my current hyperfixation is at any particular point in time haha. Currently, though, (to no one’s surprise) that would be Teen Wolf. I don’t usually seek out any particular ships for teen wolf, but I do have a soft spot for post-series (and post-war) future fic with some soft, supportive Scott/Malia. (And at least one kid! because dangit scott would be an absolutely wonderful dad, pls let him have chidren!!)

6. What’s the last thing you read that made you laugh?

“Iron-Clad Secret Identity” by @cattyk8fic! Very cracky batfamily fic, but gosh I cackled

19. What’s your favorite character headcanon?

Okay, so I don’t know about favorite, but I do have one about Mason from teen wolf that I’m particularly fond of...

SO, we’re introduced to Mason in “The Benefactor” -- he’s Liam’s friend, he’s vaguely concerned about Liam’s recent v weird behavior, and (as we learn later in the episode in his convo w/ Lydia) one of his major character traits is that he cares about people and wants to help. Elsewhere in the ep, Scott et al concoct a plan to keep Liam from hurting anyone during the full moon by luring him to fake party. Liam then tells Mason about the party invite, and Mason accidentally throws a wrench in the entire plan by inviting, according to the episode, “everyone,” and turning the fake party into a very real party.

The thing is, this doesn’t seem in line w/ Mason’s character that we see in the rest of the series -- while he does go to Sinema on occasion and seems to enjoy that sort of thing, he’s not really the guy who organizes all the parties. What he is is the guy who’s main defensive mechanism is to learn everything about everything, just in case.

So. What does he know? We know that he knows about what went down at Devenford Prep and why Liam was kicked out of school. It doesn’t seem too unlikely that he also knows about all the bullying that Liam was the target of after the incident. He might even know about the event that we see the flashback to in 6B, where Brett and a bunch of other lacrosse players apparently lured Liam to the abandoned zoo and beat him up in revenge.

It’s also reasonable to assume that Mason attended BHHS for the 1st semester of his freshman year, as there’s no indication that he’s a transfer like Liam. Which would mean that he was around for the events of 3A and B, and likely knows that Scott’s the captain of the lacrosse team, and that he has a clique of friends that are always hanging out with him. He’s also probably heard some rumors about them, b/c you cannot tell me that there isn’t an active rumor mill among BHHS students. So it’s not unreasonable to assume that, even if Mason doesn’t know that Kira is Scott’s girlfriend, he at least knows that she’s part of Scott’s friend group.

It’s also likely that Mason knows that Liam was injured because he “went up against two juniors” (incl Scott) during lacrosse practice. Maybe he heard it from Liam, maybe he heard it from someone else, but again -- rumor mill. Liam went to the hospital because of that, and news like that gets around.

Now, FINALLY, we get to the actual headcanon bit of this (and yikes I’ve been super longwinded, sorry about that!). Anywho. My headcanon is that Liam tells Mason that he’s been invited to a party that “everyone’s going to” by Kira. This sets off multiple alarm bells for Mason, who like I said, probably knows that Kira’s either the girlfriend or close friend of the upperclassman lacrosse star who apparently injured Liam during practice. This is feeling very familiar, and he starts to worry that this may end up being a repeat of the whole zoo incident.

So, he asks around. If “everyone’s” going to this party, then someone else will have heard of it, right? But no one has. Which is, uh. Concerning.

But Liam’s already on the way to the “party” when he figures this out, so he does the next best thing -- he invites everyone he knows and tells them to invite people too, and he turns the fake party into a real party to provide a buffer for his best friend. And then the first thing he does when he gets there is look for Liam, to make sure he’s okay.

(And this headcanon is even backed by the text a little with the vaguely suspicious way he acts towards Lydia at first, countering her “I can’t be bothered to keep track of one freshman” with “but you knew he was a freshman”)

Anywho this went REALLY long sorry, but also I love Mason a lot and he’s so smart and also a fantastic friend pass it on.

Ask me Fanfic Questions!

#so i know you didn't /ask/ for a wall of text but it turns out you got one lol #thank u so much for the questions!!#brambleberrycottage #ask meme #teen wolf #twmeta

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shakingsphere · 3 years

Text

this is not my questionnaire lol

1. Would you have sex with the last person you text messaged?

i literally just told him that i dont want to hu anymore lol

2. You talked to an ex today, correct?

nope! ive been blocked for a year :)

3. Have you taken someones virginity?

no 4. Is trust a big issue for you?

no 5. Did you hang out with the person you like recently?

im not really interested in anyone 6. What are you excited for?

spring semester 7. What happened tonight?

i watched pokémon and ate dinner 8. Do you think it’s disgusting when girls get really wasted?

no i just worry about them 9. Is confidence cute?

yes ofc 10. What is the last beverage you had?

diet coke 11. How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust?

4 or 5 idk this one is dumb 12. Do you own a pair of skinny jeans?

no they broke when i was jumping a fence in january 13. What are you gonna do Saturday night?

probably nothing 14. What are you going to spend money on next?

probably coffee 15. Are you going out with the last person you kissed?

no lol 16. Do you think you’ll change in the next 3 months?

yes i think people are constantly changing 17. Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything?

my best friend 18. The last time you felt broken?

idk 19. Have you had sex today?

no 20. Are you starting to realize anything?

i dont think so 21. Are you in a good mood?

im neutral 22. Would you ever want to swim with sharks?

no lol 23. Are your eyes the same color as your dad’s?

theyre a brighter shade of blue 24. What do you want right this second?

to have gone to bed earlier 25. What would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy?

its none of my business bc im not seeing anyone 26. Is your current hair color your natural hair color?

no its a couple shades darker 27. Would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh?

no ew 28. What was the last thing that made you laugh?

something my friend said yesterday 29. Do you really, truly miss someone right now?

yea. 30. Does everyone deserve a second chance?

no 31. Honestly, do you hate the last boy you were talking to?

no i kinda just pity him 32. Does the person you have feelings for right now, know you do?

i dont have feeling for anyone rn 33. Are you one of those people who never drinks soda?

no i drink diet coke like literally everyday 34. Listening to?

nothing rn, i honestly only listen to music to concentrate 35. Do you ever write in pencil anymore?

no not even for my russian class lol 36. Do you know where the last person you kissed is?

yea at his house... 37. Do you believe in love at first sight?

no 38. Who did you last call?

um my best friend i think 39. Who was the last person you danced with?

some random kid 40. Why did you kiss the last person you kissed?

sex 41. When was the last time you ate a cupcake?

idk i hate cupcakes 42. Did you hug/kiss one of your parents today?

no 43. Ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush?

ofc 44. Do you tan in the nude?

i dont tan 45. If you could, would you take back your last kiss?

no 46. Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night?

no i took a trazodone 47. Who was the last person to call you?

probs my dad 48. Do you sing in the shower?

no but i talk to myself 49. Do you dance in the car?

no but i sing sometines 50. Ever used a bow and arrow?

i dont think so, no 51. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer?

my senior photos.... so like 2 years ago 52. Do you think musicals are cheesy?

yes. 53. Is Christmas stressful?

i hate christmas 54. Ever eat a pierogi?

i’m eastern european studies major and they were v popular at pitt... so yes lol 55. Favorite type of fruit pie?

ummmmmm apple? 56. Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid?

animator 57. Do you believe in ghosts?

yes 58. Ever have a Deja-vu feeling?

no 59. Take a vitamin daily?

i take antidepressants daily. 60. Wear slippers?

nah 61. Wear a bath robe?

nah 62. What do you wear to bed?

t-shirt n shorts 63. First concert?

LMAO it was a bob dylan concert my dad had an extra ticket and im his favorite 64. Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart?

target, walmart is too chaotic 65. Nike or Adidas?

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm probs nike 66. Cheetos Or Fritos?

fritos 67. Peanuts or Sunflower seeds?

neither 68. Favorite Taylor Swift song?

uhhh love story? 69. Ever take dance lessons?

yes when i was little i was awful 70. Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing?

lol yea i can see me being w someone in academia 71. Can you curl your tongue?

yee 72. Ever won a spelling bee?

no 73. Have you ever cried because you were so happy?

no i am rarely ever happy 74. What is your favorite book?

uhhhh the bell jar? 75. Do you study better with or without music?

with 76. Regularly burn incense?

i have never burned incense 77. Ever been in love?

no i dont think so 78. Who would you like to see in concert?

mitski or doja 79. What was the last concert you saw?

lorde on the melodrama tour 80. Hot tea or cold tea?

cold 81. Tea or coffee?

coffee 82. Favorite type of cookie?

um oatmeal raisin i think 83. Can you swim well?

i used to swim very well but i havent in a long time tho i can swim and not be scared of drowning so im gonna say yes 84. Can you hold your breath without holding your nose?

no? 85. Are you patient?

usually but not when im in a mood 86. DJ or band, at a wedding?

i hate weddings 87. Ever won a contest?

yeah once when i was like 8 88. Ever have plastic surgery?

no im pretty 89. Which are better black or green olives?

black ofc green ones are nasty 90. Opinions on sex before marriage?

its fine i think waiting until marriage is obnoxious and out dated 91. Best room for a fireplace?

living room 92. Do you want to get married?

yea but its not like a life goal of mine i really just want a good relationship

#personal

1 note · View note

werewolfharrington · 5 years

Note

Flower ask: also all of them. you get to suffer with me >:3€

oh darlin’ we’re in it now huh

Alisons: Sexuality?

homogay

Amaranth: Pronouns/Gender?

she/they | all gender will be shot on sight

Amaryllis: Birthday?

sept 23rd

Anemone: Favorite flower?

monkshood

Angelonia: Favorite t.v. show?

stranger things or ghost adventures

Arum-Lily: What’s the farthest you’d go for a stranger?

like? distance? a couple miles probably

Aster: What’s one of your favorite quotes?

“We are such stuff as dreams are made on, and our little lifeIs rounded with a sleep.” William Shakespeare, The Tempest

Aubrieta: Favorite drink?

wild cherry capri sun

Baby’s Breath: Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

ima change that to ‘kiss the last person u thought abt kissing’ bc YES

Balsam Fir: Have you ever been in love?

*jenna marbles voice* hell yeah!!

Baneberries: Favorite song?

waiting for the end - linkin park

Basket of Gold: Describe your family.

chaos

Beebalm: Do you have a best friend? Who is it?

i have too many to list !!! brandi, kasey, you, liz, ivy, nick , just to name a few!!

Begonia: Favorite color?

blue uwu

Bellflower: Favorite animal?

foxes !! and opossums

Bergenia: Are you a morning or night person?

night time babey

Black-Eyed Susan: If you could be any animal for a day, what would it be?

either a fox or an opossum or a raven, i think

Bloodroots: When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?

i wanted to be a vet !!!

Bluemink: What are your thoughts on children?

theyre ok as long as theyre not screaming and/or mine

Blazing Stars: What are you afraid of? Is there a reason why?

i don’t liike vomit bc. nastey (trauma i think) and i don’t like old ppl well. i dunno why? they’re just so old and fragile and helpless and sometimes they’re really mean and idk i think it’s like something to do w death or something LMAO idk. also i just hate the idea of becoming old and having to rely on other people ?? hhh

Borage: Give a random fact about your childhood.

i was bullied a lot

Bugleherb: How would you spend your last day on Earth?

realistically? probably playing dead by daylight with my girlfriend ADFSGRHYUTR

Buttercup: Relationship Status?

happily taken

Camelia: If you could visit anywhere, where would you want to go?

ireland, scotland, alaska, greece

Candytufts: When do you feel most loved?

whenever my friends or family tells me they love me but esp when u text me goodmorning or when we say our goodnights sorry im gay haha

Canna: Do you have any tattoos?

i have. uuuuhh 6

Canterbury Bells: Do you have any piercings?

no!!! i want some tho :(

California Poppy: Height?

i think im like. 5′5 or something? give or take an inch ?

Cardinal Flower: Do you believe in ghosts?

oh absolutely. my house is haunted as we speak

Carnation: What are you currently wearing?

bmth hoodie and pajama pants w foxes all over them. i just woke up lol

Catnip: Have you ever slept with a nightlight?

yeah i always keep one on in the bathroom

Chives: Who was the last person you hugged?

my sister bc she came home from college yesterday

Chrysanthemum: Who’s the last person you kissed?

ask me in like. a little over a month from now ;)

Cock’s Comb: Favorite font?

FONT??? the animal crossing font

Columbine: Are you tired?

oh absolutely

Common Boneset: What are you looking forward to?

thanksgiving, christmas, seeing my gf, magfest

Coneflower: Dream job?

idk if it’s a job but i just wanna own like. a ranch that takes in all sorts of animals and takes care of them

Crane’s-Bill: Introvert or extrovert?

introvert

Crocus: Have you ever been in love?

ooooh yeah

Crown Imperial: What’s the farthest you would go for someone you care about?

i mean. depends on what they want/need. distance wise? i’d travel the known universe for u

Cyclamen: Did you have a favorite stuffed animal as a child? What was it?

he was a plaid teddy bear his name was Stanley!!!! i miss him :( but now i have Little Moon God as my favourite stuffed animal

Daffodil: What’s your zodiac sign?

Libro

Dahlia: Have you done anything worth remembering?

Working in Yellowstone is something I’ll never forget

Daisy: What do you feel is your greatest accomplishment?

well. hmm. i was gonna say flying to yellowstone but maybe driving to north carolina by myself bc driving long distances alone to places i haven’t been before gives me hella anxiety (i’m better now)

Daylily: What would you do if your parents didn’t like your partner(s)?

i don’t pay rent in this house to listen to their opinions lmao.

Dendrobium: Who is the last person that you said “I love you” to?

you, i think, when we said goodnight last night!!! EDIT: you this morning!!

False Goat’s Beard: What is something you are good at?

being bad at dead by daylight

Foxgloves: What’s something you’re bad at?

dead by daylight

Freesia: What are three good things that have happened in the past month?

(little over a month now but uhhh) GOT A UH ......GIRL.....FRIEND ...... GOT TO VISIT GIRLFRIEND ........ and got the windshield finally replaced in my car

Garden Cosmos: How was your day today?

i dont know! so far ive laid in bed now im at my computer answering this. not too bad. my shift is only 4 hours today.

Gardenia: Are you happy with where you’re at in your life?

for the most part, i’m pretty content, yeah

Gladiolus: What is something you hope to do in the next year or two?

MOVE OUT

Glory-of-the-Snow: What are ten things that make you happy/you’re grateful to have in your life?

my friends, my mom, my sisters, my girlfriend, my bastard dog

Heliotropium: What helps you calm down when you feel stressed?

metal

Hellebore: How do you show affection?

what does this mean. physically, i’m very affectionate, i just. don’t show it alot bc anxiety/i overthink. that and i constantly tell ppl i love them and what they mean to me

Hoary Stock: What are you proudest of?

whoever is reading this

Hollyhock: Describe your ideal day.

wake up next 2 a cute girl. take way too long to get up. go climb mountain w cute girl. vibe on mountain w cute girl. go to waffle house 2gether. gome home and vibe. play video games or watch a movies/tv w cute girl.

Hyacinth: What do you like to do in your free time?

i like to make art or play bideo jame

Hydrangea: How long have you known your best friend? How did you meet them?

oh gosh i dunno. the ones i’ve known the longest are kasey and brandi, and i’ve known them both around/over a decade i think. we met in middle/highschool!

Irises: Who can you talk to about (almost) everything?

you, ivy, liz

Laceleaf: How many friends do you have?

so many

Lantanas: What’s the best compliment you’ve ever received?

idk man but i remember when you said u had a crush on me and then i posted a selfie and u were like ‘OH NO SHE’S CUTE” and like ??? idk i think that was definitely the first compliment to ever shock me LMAO

Larkspur: What do you think of yourself?

6.9/10

Lavender: What’s your favorite thing about yourself?

my tattoos

Leather Flower: What’s your least favorite thing about yourself?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kGGViLwHEUk

Lilac: What’s something you liked to do as a child?

i liked to play zombies ate my neighbors on the sega genesis !!!!

Lily: Who was your best friend when you were a kid?

eliza !!!! we lost touch a few years after i moved away :(

Lily of the Incas: What is something you still feel guilty for?

ima be real everything makes me feel guilty

Lily of the Nile: What is something you feel guilty for that you shouldn’t feel guilty about?

aaaaaa the whole abi/moon incident

Lupine: What does your name mean? Why is that your name?

my name is fox. it means i like foxes

Marigold: Where did you grow up? Tell us about it.

northern virginia babey !!!! that place fucking sucks!!! but everyone who lives up there thinks they’re hot shit.

Morning Glory: What was your bedroom like growing up?

i had a bunkbed and i think the walls were pink

Mugworts: What was it like for you as a teenager? Did you enjoy your teenage years?

😬 i’m just gonna say i’m much happier now and i’m coping with life and shit a lot better

Norwegian Angelica: Tell us about your mom.

she’s sweet and funny and i love her so much!! she always does the Most for everyone, sometimes to the point where she isn’t concerned abt herself and i see where i get it from. but yeah my mom is great, my dad doesn’t deserve her

Onions: Tell about your dad.

source of a lot of trauma and why i have so many issues regarding men. i don’t wanna talk about him anymore LOL he doesn’t deserve the attention

Orchid: Tell about your grandparents.

my dad’s mom is becoming senile and i think she’s racist and queerphobic. my mom’s parents disowned her a few years ago so we don’t talk to them anymore

Pansy: What was your most memorable birthday? What made it be so memorable?

i dunno. i don’t try to remember my birthdays. whenever i can go to busch gardens for my birthday i usually have a lot of fun there.

Peony: What was your first job?

if you don’t wanna count working w my mom as a florist, target was my first job back in 2016. i found my name tag the other day , actually

Petunia: If you’re in a relationship, how did you meet your partner(s)? If you’re not in a relationship, how did you meet your crush/how do you hope to meet your future partner(s), if you want any?

WELL, i know you followed me on here first. and then twitter?? but we didn’t really start talking until stranger things 3 came out (thank u stranger things) PHYSICALLY, we didn’t meet until fursonacon (haha. i remember when u texted me that u got to the hotel and i came down to help n i saw u unloading yr car and it was then that my brain was like OH NOOOOOOOO and my heart was like OH YEEEEAAAAAAAH)

Pincushion: How do you deal with pain?

physical, mental, or emotional? i play a video game or listen to loud music

Pink: Where is home?[

somewhere in appalachia i can feel it in my stupid soul

Plantain Lilies: If you could go back in time, what is one thing you would stop/change?

idk man i’m pretty content w where i’m at now so

Prairie Gentian: Who is someone you look up to? Describe them.

chester bennington

Primrose: Describe your ideal life.

i have a waife and we have many great pets and we live in a log cabin in the mountains or in a nice victorian in a small town or something IDK but we’re happy and that’s all that matters

Rhodendron: What is something you used to believe in as a child?

God

Ricinus: Who’s the most important in your life?

my mom, me best friends, my girlfriend

Rose: What’s your favorite sound?

my girlfriend’s laugh because it’s THE cutest shit and then when she giggles??? oh my heart

Rosemallows: What’s your favorite memory?

oct 23rd, 2005, we brought Fat Boy Zack home !!!!

Sage: What’s your least favorite memory?

July 22nd, 2016. i was 2200 miles away

Snapdragon: At this moment, what do you want?

to be holding my girlfriend >:(

St. John’s Wort: Is it easy or difficult for you to express how you feel about things?

hhhhhhhhhheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Sunflower: What is something you don’t want to imagine life without?

those i hold dear

Sweet Pea: How much sleep did you get last night?

enough, i guess?

Tickseed: What’s your main reason to get up every morning?

my girlfriend

Touch-Me-Not: How do you feel about your current job?

it’s fucking BORING and TOO EASY and they don’t pay me ENOUGH but i can get away with so much shit there so ima still go, ima still go

Transvaal Daisy: What’s your favorite item of clothing?

all of the flannels currently in my possession

Tropical White Morning Glory: Describe your aesthetic.

mountains, woods, forests, cabins, autumn, cryptic, occult, victorian, edwardian

Tulip: What would be the best present to get you?

if someone gets me a gift i’m legally required to execute them

Vervain: What’s stressing you out most right now?

this 40hr workweek i got coming up

Wisteria: How many books have you read in the past few months? What were they called?

i have not read in So Long

Wolf’s Bane: Where do you want to be in life this time next year?

Moved out away from here lol, we’ll see

Yarrow: Do you know what vore is?

Zinnia: Give a random fact about yourself.

i’m a furry

that was SO LONG im sorry i also put you through that but THANK YOU ENJOY READING ILU

#littlecation #ask #long post

8 notes · View notes

angry-mango · 5 years

Text

questions

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans? mugs

2. chocolate bars or lollipops? lollipops

3. bubblegum or cotton candy? cotton candy

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you? smart, sweet, quiet

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups? glass bottles, but if that’s not an option then soda cans

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear? pastelpreppygoth

7. earbuds or headphones? headphones

8. movies or tv shows? tv shows

9. favorite smell in the summer? rain or vanilla

10. game you were best at in p.e.? tug of war

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day? water real breakfast used to be like scrambled eggs w bread and orange juice

12. name of your favorite playlist? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

13. lanyard or key ring? i prefer key ring because it’s easier to put in a bag, but i love my lanyard

14. favorite non-chocolate candy? jolly ranchers or sweet tarts

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment? number the stars - lois lawry

16. most comfortable position to sit in? knees to chest

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes? high slipons (i have no idea what they’re called tbh)

18. ideal weather? gentle rain

19. sleeping position? side or stomach

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)? here (tumblr)

21. obsession from childhood? owls or cheetah print omfg

22. role model? nobody, trying to be myself

23. strange habits? biting everything

24. favorite crystal? lapis lazuli

25. first song you remember hearing? a thousand miles - vanessa carlton

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather? park or the falls (outdoor mall)

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather? literally anything outdoors, i want to enjoy it

28. five songs to describe you? ive got a dark alley, sleep, disloyal order of water buffaloes, wilson (expensive mistakes), i don’t care

29. best way to bond with you? include me in things, make an effort to talk to me, try your best to sympathize with my many moods

30. places that you find sacred? hands, neck, downthere

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names? silk japanese-ish jacket, black jeans, boots

32. top five favorite vines? a potato flew around my room before u came, u not my dad, NO!!, pReTtY CooL!!, sharkeisha no

33. most used phrase in your phone? sksks

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head? target, this ford one from christmas

35. average time you fall asleep? 1 am

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing? doge

37. suitcase or duffel bag? suitcase

38. lemonade or tea? iced green tea - if not, then lemonade

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie? lemon cake

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school? my elementary went on lockdown once and we were trapped in the cafeteria and we heard the gunmans footsteps running on the roof, heard doors getting knocked down, couple gunshots but nobody got hurt

41. last person you texted? ollie

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets? pants

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket? hoodie, although i’ve always wanted a bomber or leather

44. favorite scent for soap? pomegranate

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero? sci-fi

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in? baggy shirt & leggings

47. favorite type of cheese? american

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be? cherry 🍒

49. what saying or quote do you live by? it’s always been “nothing lasts forever” - you might change that

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have? the randomest shit you can come up with

51. current stresses? losing someone

52. favorite font? i think it’s georgia

53. what is the current state of your hands? soft, cold, kinda wrinkly smfh

54. what did you learn from your first job? n/a

55. favorite fairy tale? i don’t know

56. favorite tradition? don’t have any traditions, other than cooking every thanksgiving

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome? surviving, fasting, dieting when i was on my deathbed

58. four talents you’re proud of having? i’m great at video games, i can hold my breath for like a minute, i’m loyal (is that a talent), and i have good control for certain things

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be? it be like that

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be? the only anime i’ve ever seen is voltron

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.? i don’t know ive seen too many

62. seven characters you relate to? ronald weasley thats it

63. five songs that would play in your club? pet cheetah, the (after) life of the party, planetary (go!), young volcanoes, clocks

64. favorite website from your childhood? coolmathgames

65. any permanent scars? i don’t know if they’re permanent but things that have been there a handful of years, yes - mosquito bites (i’m a terrible healer) some cuts, and a scratch on my foot

66. favorite flower(s)? carnations, snapdragons, lilies

67. good luck charms? tahitian bracelet, bee necklace

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried? coconut

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned? how to absolutely slay at video games

70. left or right handed? right

71. least favorite pattern? zig zag only cuz it’s hard to draw

72. worst subject? social studies

73. favorite weird flavor combo? does spicy doritos inside sandwiches count

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen? twelve (12)

75. when did you lose your first tooth? i have no idea but i think i was 4

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)? chips (specifically lays)

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill? never grown any plants indoors :(( i’ve always had pets that could potentially eat them and overprotective parents

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store? i don’t like sushi so i’ll go with coffee even though i’ve never had it from a gas station what’s the big deal

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo? my school id, dear god my license pic is absolutely horrible

80. earth tones or jewel tones? dark jewels

81. fireflies or lightning bugs? aren’t they the same thing- unless u mean what do i call them, then fireflies

82. pc or console? console

83. writing or drawing? writing

84. podcasts or talk radio? neither

84. barbie or polly pocket? polly pocket

85. fairy tales or mythology? mythology

86. cookies or cupcakes? cookies

87. your greatest fear? tornadoes

88. your greatest wish? you

89. who would you put before everyone else? ollie

90. luckiest mistake? dropping out of school (it’s complicated, but i’ve thought about it and decided it was)

91. boxes or bags? boxes

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights? sunlight and fairy lights

93. nicknames? aknee, angel

94. favorite season? winter

95. favorite app on your phone? messaging, tumblr, pocket camp

96. desktop background? my favorite sim

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized? three

98. favorite historical era? ew history

#questions

2 notes · View notes

shadowed-moonrise · 6 years

Text

ooc: elia and ashka chat logs

[ooc comments supposed to be removed but i might have missed some. there is a Lot of logs bc we forgot to post until now]

shadowed-moonrise

oh my god what is WRONG WITH SOME PEOPLE

shadowed-moonrise

i got some horrifying anons!!! theyre so horrifying!!!!!!!

flameofcertainty

hang on let me turn off my blacklist for a moment

quick question: what the fuck

(not directed at you!)

shadowed-moonrise

i just

wow????

they sent me a followup ask like 'didnt you read what i said, my gf likes it'

shadowed-moonrise

and............... i dont....... think she does

like that does not sound like a healthy relationship and i hope they just made it up to creep on me

flameofcertainty

"hi i'm a rapist"

"wtf"

"no but she likes when i rape her"

i just

*what the fuck*

shadowed-moonrise

right

WHAT THE FUCK.

shadowed-moonrise

i was just talking earlier abt how i dont actually like that anybody can read my hyper posts but i make them on publicblog for like Awareness right?

shadowed-moonrise

and i thought i meant like abstractly, like maybe theres somebody reading them and cackling bc they dont agree w/ my politics or whatever?

but APPARENLTY

APPARENTLY

people will send me creepy asks about raping their hyper gf

flameofcertainty

some people are just really terrible?

i guess?

what are they even getting out of this?

shadowed-moonrise

i think some people just........ enjoy making other people suffer????

or maybe somehow they thought i would be like "i think this is hot or a good thing to do or whatever, thank you for your service to the hypersensitive community"

i dunno what goes on in these peoples head

shadowed-moonrise

heads

flameofcertainty

maybe tumblr just hates hypersensitives or something

it would explain a lot

shadowed-moonrise

like, okay, but what would you hate hypersensitives for

like theres somebody who hates hypos (and IS A NAT THERAPIST, AUGH) for.... not hating pollution enough, i guess

but hypersensitives are boring? we dont go outside much bc the outside is fully of scary?

flameofcertainty

maybe tumblr is just weird like that?

or maybe we're easy targets?

shadowed-moonrise

oh yeah that makes sense

flameofcertainty

most meso folks don't have a button they can press to get a reaction out of us

shadowed-moonrise

if you wanna make somebody suffer its so easy to target people with a big 'make me suffer' button

flameofcertainty

right

shadowed-moonrise

ugh im sort of regretting making it public

i could have just not mentioned it and had a really good blacklist

flameofcertainty

most of the time people aren't that bad

and then there'll be a week or two

where people send you nothing but asks about pollution

shadowed-moonrise

i blacklist some stuff but im generally okay talking about pollution if its like, abstract, so i dont do it that aggressively and then........ sometimes............. people take advantage of that

shadowed-moonrise

i wish you could like, have vulnerabilities without people just randomly deciding to fuck with you for no reason

flameofcertainty

yeah

flameofcertainty

hang on

i just scrolled down

>i’ll put my foreign object ;;;;) in your body ;;;;) ;;;;)

***what the fuck***

shadowed-moonrise

yeah.

oh GOD

i just got

another

flameofcertainty

oh no

how bad is it

shadowed-moonrise

bad enough im not sure i should tell you what it says

flameofcertainty

my brain is helpfully providing suggestions

why is it like this

are you okay

shadowed-moonrise

im.... probbly going to be in a minute

fuck

"the last "person" to hide their caste on this hellsite turned out to be red. i bet you aren't even hyper, you're just pretending so people won't suspect. i know what you really are."

thats what it says

flameofcertainty

aaaaaaaa

what the fuck

flameofcertainty

why would anyone send that to you

shadowed-moonrise

i dont know

what did i *do*

flameofcertainty

i don't know

fuck

i guess if they think you're red that would explain why they hate you?

but seriously

what the fuck

flameofcertainty

i'm so sorry

flameofcertainty

why would anyone say that

shadowed-moonrise

anon hate doesnt usually get to me like this but

sob

why

the fuck

i dunno if they even really think that or they just want to upset me

flameofcertainty

i don''t

i don't know

fuck i'm so sorry

are you going to be okay

shadowed-moonrise

yeah. yeah.

flameofcertainty

is there anything i can do

shadowed-moonrise

i dont

think so

flameofcertainty

other than not be the sort of terrible person who would send those messages

shadowed-moonrise

thamk you for not being htat sort of person!

im so glad most people arent

flameofcertainty

it's really not hard

shadowed-moonrise

oh i can... go take some eytelia right now

it will only help in 40min but i might still need it then

shadowed-moonrise

brb

shadowed-moonrise

ok back

flameofcertainty

okay

anyways what the fuck

shadowed-moonrise

someday i will have coping mechanisms other than "get high in a way that coincidentally also helps"

flameofcertainty

i mean if it helps

then that's a lot better than nothing

shadowed-moonrise

yeah it is

shadowed-moonrise

im gonna go curl up and not look at the Fuckening Internet, i guess

flameofcertainty

seems reasonable

shadowed-moonrise

ttyl <3

flameofcertainty

ttyl :)

shadowed-moonrise

hiiiiiiiiiiii im back im not sad anymore because im so high

shadowed-moonrise

i got another horrible anon and i dont even caaaare

flameofcertainty

i'm glad you're feeling better

sorry about the terrible anon

shadowed-moonrise

also did you know art is pretty

its so pretty

flameofcertainty

yeah

shadowed-moonrise

i saw a video of a yellow playing the yellowest instrument ever and i wanted to send it to you but tumblr messages werent working on my everything

maybe i can find it again..........

shadowed-moonrise

http://theyre-a-geeky-witch.tumblr.com/post/138457594516/ here

flameofcertainty

that's actually really pretty

flameofcertainty

thanks

flameofcertainty

anyways what's up

shadowed-moonrise

i gotta work in a couple hours

by which time hopefully i will be able to handle it

idk i dont HATE it but its hard on the badbrains

flameofcertainty

i can imagine

shadowed-moonrise

like i feel ok now bc hiiiiiigh but im not very excited about leaving the house and going places

shadowed-moonrise

there will be a green party where im supposed to just pretend to be green tho!

i like those

flameofcertainty

that part sounds nice

at least

shadowed-moonrise

ive been thinking & writing a lot about how thinking-on-drugs works and greens always wanna talk about that

shadowed-moonrise

one time a client had me go to a thing pretending to just be green and it was nice and then she *told everyone she hired me* while i was in the middle of talking about my cs paper (my actual cs paper, which i actually wrote, and she implied i didnt even though i CLEARLY THOROUGHLY UNDERSTOOD IT)

flameofcertainty

???

why would she do that??

shadowed-moonrise

i wish i had just walked away but i didnt know what to do

some people....... have a humiliation kink

shadowed-moonrise

and like, okay, ill do that if you WARN ME, but you cant just spring it on me???

flameofcertainty

i am super not a sex worker but "tell people in advance" seems really obvious

shadowed-moonrise

YEAH

shadowed-moonrise

i didnt really say anything at the time bc i was so shocked but later i like messaged her and was like 'thats super fucked up'

shadowed-moonrise

she didnt really get it but she agreed to pay me extra for like, i didnt know what service i was providing beforehand & thats more costly

but she only engaged with it in like, super businessy terms

flameofcertainty

how does she not get it

this does not seem particularly hard to understand

shadowed-moonrise

i think she was like 'im paying you for both sex work and going to a party so i can just like do whatever, right?'

and there was also some like 'greys are toys'

shadowed-moonrise

fucking blues

shadowed-moonrise

i do not usually go in that much for caste solidarity because im so bad at grey + greys are not great about that but in that moment if somebody asked me i would have supported a military government

i could explain 'pay people for services and also lay out terms beforehand' but not 'greys are.... people..... dont be a fucking asshole'

flameofcertainty

i don't think i've ever actually talked to a blue

at least not to say more than "excuse me, can i get through" or "the soap is in aisle five"

huh

shadowed-moonrise

there... exist blues who are okay

there even exist blues who are okay and hire sex workers and do kinky things about castes with them

flameofcertainty

i believe you

shadowed-moonrise

like 80% of the people who hire me are entirely fine?

flameofcertainty

they can't possibly all be terrible

otoh a terrible blue can screw you over a lot more than a terrible purple

shadowed-moonrise

yeah.

im not sure what i would do if a blue client did something illegal to me because...................................... im not sure what i CAN do

flameofcertainty

probably depends on how illegal

shadowed-moonrise

yeah

and who they are

flameofcertainty

yeah

there are supposed to be reporting systems in place if they try to pay you to kill someone or something

idk if they actually do that

shadowed-moonrise

nobody has tried that and i havent heard anybody talking about that but im pretty niche and a lot of my family is green, idk

i feel like if somebody wanted to pay a grey to kill somebody theyd pick one who has ever held a gun

flameofcertainty

probably

but yeah, i'm guessing if you made an important blue mad they could screw you over pretty badly

idk

shadowed-moonrise

nodnod

ugh sorry ive been talking about my shit this whole time

it has been kind of A Day i swear i am usually better at conversation

flameofcertainty

it's totally fine!

shadowed-moonrise

how is your day anyay

flameofcertainty

it's been okay

mira and i went to check out that social-dancing place

shadowed-moonrise

oooh

what kind of dance is it?

i guess i might not know purple dances??

flameofcertainty

i don't know if the name will translate

it's mostly the kind you do in a group with other people that's really traditional

shadowed-moonrise

group dances are great

if you have... similar amounts of motor skills to the other people

flameofcertainty

yeah

flameofcertainty

i haven't done anything like it in years and i'm really bad at it but it's still fun

and i'm not bad at it in a stepping-on-feet way

which is probably good, idk

shadowed-moonrise

im pretty sure not stepping on feet is strictly better than the alternative!

flameofcertainty

yeah

shadowed-moonrise

omg babybro is home <33

flameofcertainty

baby!!!

shadowed-moonrise

he is so good!!!!!!

he taaalks and he plays with me and ive been teaching him abstract concepts bc i find it really exciting when he knows abstract concepts

flameofcertainty

tell me more about this baby

shadowed-moonrise

he can do numbers up to twelve and circles and triangles and 'many' and 'other' and i asked him what one plus one was and he said 'two ones' which means he *actually understands what it means*

he has adooorable curly hair

and a little nose

and he will boop my nose with his nose if i ask him to

and he loves my weighted blanket

flameofcertainty

baaabbyyyy

what a good baby

shadowed-moonrise

i guess at this point he might not 'technically' be a baby anymore? but hes a baaaabbbyyy

[lemme edit a picture of my irl little brother to have green hair]

https://78.media.tumblr.com/fa8d578702cf6c0ed9269902f535982a/tumblr_messaging_p7ryailotL1vio47i_1280.png

https://78.media.tumblr.com/b8ec991036777a0f24c9ed84a194d921/tumblr_messaging_p7ryanbD931vio47i_250.png

baby!!!! <333

second picture featuring Grey Grandma

flameofcertainty

baby!!!!

baaaabbbbyyyyy

he's so smol

shadowed-moonrise

so small!!!!!

and smiley!!!!

flameofcertainty

happy baby!

shadowed-moonrise

i hope he is happy foreeeeever

shadowed-moonrise

his lil nose is tan bc it gets in the sun more than the rest of his face

bc he has a little baby face!!!!!!!!!!!

flameofcertainty

little baby face on the little happy baby!!!!

he's so good

shadowed-moonrise

hes next to me playing with my blanket

i looove him

flameofcertainty

what a good baby

shadowed-moonrise

i told him i was talking a friend and he says hi

although im not sure he really gets the idea of the internet yet

he seemed kinda confused

flameofcertainty

hi baby-sibling-of-ashka

flameofcertainty

he's such a cute baby

shadowed-moonrise

his name is avidik

we keep arguing about whether to use avi or idi as a nickname

flameofcertainty

hi avidik!!

shadowed-moonrise

oh no he spilled water on the carpet

its alright its a pretty waterproof carpet

he ran at me and jumped in my arms

so!!!! good!!!!!!!

flameofcertainty

eeee

flameofcertainty

baby

flameofcertainty

good baby

shadowed-moonrise

oh also have you seen this yellow violinist https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DGhPGH2YROA

seems like your kind of thing

flameofcertainty

wow that's pretty

shadowed-moonrise

oh i could take a picture of avi with my violin

he is not green, technically

although he also does not know how to play even a little bit

flameofcertainty

do you play violin too?

shadowed-moonrise

a little

shadowed-moonrise

im not like good at it

but it is fun

rn i am mostly actually learning to sign but i dont understand how notes correspond to mouth sounds so if i need to sightread i play songs on the violin first and then once ive heard them i can sing them

flameofcertainty

violin is great

shadowed-moonrise

it is!!!

i always felt like i should learn piano bc its easy but i like violin so much

one of my other brothers writes a lot of synth music

its really good

he plays it without telling us it's his to get unbiased answers and then he tells us and were like HOLY SHIT

flameofcertainty

gosh

flameofcertainty

that's really sweet

shadowed-moonrise

ok i’m not really online but I TAUGHT AVIDI A LETTER

HE KNOWS A LETTER

i’m so proud of him

shadowed-moonrise

hi hi

flameofcertainty

a letter!

what a good smol!

flameofcertainty

which letter is it?

i guess it might not be a letter orvaran has

shadowed-moonrise

it's [forcetranslate]a[/forcetranslate]

or uh

[forceliteral]a[/forceliteral]

shadowed-moonrise

idk if that worked

flameofcertainty

yeah

we have that sound but it's written differently

shadowed-moonrise

nodnod

flameofcertainty

it's the last one in my name

[preservecharacter] a [/preservecharacter]

shadowed-moonrise

i wonder if its always the same sound

i think it can make a couple sounds in anitami

flameofcertainty

just one in orvaran

flameofcertainty

maybe two

i'm not sure if they're technically separate sounds

and then there's accents and things

shadowed-moonrise

idk if i should try to teach him to read in valtaz

he speaks some but tbh there is just no situation where you even need to be able to read valtaz

flameofcertainty

maybe someday he'll want to swap to yvalta

for some reason

shadowed-moonrise

.............i really doubt it?

i guess if he wants to retire in the Old Country

flameofcertainty

i hear older people sometimes swap for the weather

flameofcertainty

or something

shadowed-moonrise

there are apps to machine translate physical signs and stuff but i guess theyd be annoying to use all the time

flameofcertainty

yeah

if he knows valtaz he can learn to read it if he ever wants to

right?

i'm not really sure how this works

'how to teach your family foreign languages' wasn't really covered in purple school

shadowed-moonrise

i think i should probably teach him the alphabet but not like focus on it

yeah my parents swapped out of yvalta with some retirees who wanted to go there for the weather and were unaffected by the horrible contract system bc they were too old to have more kids anyway

flameofcertainty

i can't really think why else you'd want to live there

flameofcertainty

lineality maybe

but there are other matrilineal countries

shadowed-moonrise

arent most countries matrilineal?

flameofcertainty

yeah

shadowed-moonrise

i think historically matrilineal was easier because like..... there can be ambiguity about who the father is if you dont have good genetic testing (and a database, in some cases), but you can always tell which person a baby literally just came out of

flameofcertainty

that makes sense for why

we're matrilineal

maybe someone who lived in ceredan would swap to yvalta for lineality, ceredan does permissions anyways

except for blues i think

shadowed-moonrise

how do blues even have kids in permissions countries

shadowed-moonrise

"ashka your family is from a permissions country" its not like they talked to blues a bunch

flameofcertainty

i think they have to impress other blues

probably they don't let you give yourself a permission

because then everyone would just do that

shadowed-moonrise

.....how many kids does the most important blue get to have tho

flameofcertainty

no idea

i think it varies by country

the one with the bears and no greys makes a big deal about the monarch only getting two

shadowed-moonrise

i guess with blues its always more "how many kids is it a good idea to have so that they can give them all a good inheritance" than "how many kids can they literally afford"

aww thats kinda cute

shadowed-moonrise

if i lived in a country where the king had like six kids i would be pretty pissed

flameofcertainty

good inheritances might be less important in permissions countries

i bet the way you impress people is with politics

or maybe real estate if you're bribing people, idk

shadowed-moonrise

yeah

it’s impressive that most permissions countries basically function okay

cuz like it seems like blues having to care so much about impressing other blues would mess with things

flameofcertainty

yeah

i don't think they function as well as most places

but that could just be propaganda

shadowed-moonrise

yeahhh idk how to tell the difference between “permissions countries kind of suck” and “permissions countries are usually small, often ex-oahk, etc, which makes stuff harder on them” and “our governments just don’t like them”

i’m low key impressed that blues in auction countries don’t make too many blue credits so they’ll be cheaper, tbh

i guess they super don’t make those decisions in spring + the international community would not be too happy about it

flameofcertainty

everyone i know from a permissions country says they suck but that's like two people

and if you increase blue credits everyone who isn't blue gets mad

shadowed-moonrise

my parents say yvalta sucks and i believe them but like idk how much it’s yvalta’s *fault*

flameofcertainty

i think the big thing is if for some reason a blue hates you a permissions granting blue can screw you over way more than a credit country blue

shadowed-moonrise

yeah that’s a big deal

idk a credit country blue can probably get you sterilized if they try really hard but it would take them more trying

flameofcertainty

yeah maybe

flameofcertainty

i've never heard of that happening in a credit country but that doesn't mean it never does

shadowed-moonrise

nodnod

shadowed-moonrise

anitam is trying out a first child subsidy

which is neat i thin

think

flameofcertainty

cool

are they subsidizing the whole credit?

or just some of it

shadowed-moonrise

noooo theyre starting with like 4%

shadowed-moonrise

and increasing gradually

bc you know how changing laws goes

sooooo sloooowwwww

flameofcertainty

i guess 4% is better than nothing

shadowed-moonrise

but eventually it will be a substantial fraction of the credit i think

flameofcertainty

but probably good not to do it all at once

i know there's some countries where everyone gets one and the rest are auctioned

shadowed-moonrise

first kid free just seems so much more humane? like i understand why credits are useful and stuff but people *just not getting a kid at all ever* is awful

flameofcertainty

summary bank says alavet, av valdin, celenta, fnr, ochero, qoloc

maybe some random tiny countries that no one bothered to include

shadowed-moonrise

nodnod

flameofcertainty

on the list, i mean

and yeah, i see what you mean

i wouldn't want to live in a voan country because i like knowing that if i work really hard i could get three

but it makes me sad to think about people with zero

shadowed-moonrise

yeah

flameofcertainty

i mean probably some people should get zero, like child abusers, but an auction's not going to stop them

shadowed-moonrise

hm i bet in voan/first kid free systems there’s probably a lot of four and five year olds impulsively having kids that they’re not entirely ready for but idk like maybe that’s just something they get to do

flameofcertainty

okay i'm looking at the summary bank article about the voan system

and the age when the most people have their first kid is five

flameofcertainty

but that's not most of the people

if that makes sense

shadowed-moonrise

nodnod

flameofcertainty

i know when i was almost-four they made a big deal in school about how we should all get long-term all-spring birth control

i bet they do that in voa

i guess i don't know for sure

shadowed-moonrise

yeah

shadowed-moonrise

i saw someone on tumblr talking about how they usually get the long term birth control and they get went on vacation to the southern hemisphere and just didn’t remember that they didn’t have the birth control and got pregnant

(they were asking if you can still get aftermarket credits in the *fall*)

flameofcertainty

wow

that must suck

shadowed-moonrise

yeah

i hope they managed to get an aftermarket credit

flameofcertainty

yeah

i bet they're cheaper in fall

since most people aren't getting pregnant

i definitely wouldn't want to have a kid with anyone i dated when i was four but maybe some people get really lucky there

shadowed-moonrise

yeah that’s a lot of what i’m thinking about like.... most people don’t know people who are definitely good coparents for them when they’re four

shadowed-moonrise

because it just takes time to figure that out

flameofcertainty

i'd've also been a really bad parent when i was four but some of that is me-things

shadowed-moonrise

yeah that toooo

i’m four and i’m super not ready to be a parent!!

shadowed-moonrise

i feel like i know how to be a good parent in THEORY but in practice i don’t like have the energy or emotional stability

avidi was born the spring i turned four, which was really good <3

flameofcertainty

that's so good

when i was four i was living with a friend rather than my parents

but if someone had dropped a baby on me i'd have been so unprepared

and my friend was living with their parents

flameofcertainty

so there were actual responsible people in the apartment

shadowed-moonrise

nodnodnod

shadowed-moonrise

fall/winter when i was three i was spending a lot of time with friends in other cities and stuff to get awaaay but then they there suddenly like “you know what, we’re having another baby this spring” so i came back

there are some upsides to the fact that my green mom has grey babies.......

flameofcertainty

i have a little sister

i've never actually met her

maybe someday i'll be able to make myself

shadowed-moonrise

oh wow i’m so sorry

flameofcertainty

it's not your fault

shadowed-moonrise

if you want to talk about it, or be distracted from it, or whatever-

flameofcertainty

if you want the story today's a good day for me to tell it

otoh it's definitely pollution-adjacent and i don't know if it's a good day for you

shadowed-moonrise

i think i can handle it, it is a good hypersensitivity day for me

flameofcertainty

so during the voan food crisis we couldn't afford clean food past the first couple months

you'd think living on a farm would help but it had been a bad year the previous year and none of our crops were coming up that season

shadowed-moonrise

oh. oh.

flameofcertainty

and i tried to force myself to eat the polluted food but i couldn't even make myself touch it

that's not the thing yet

so i was at risk of starving to death

and my mom got one of the neighbors to give her a super sketchy probably-illegal loan

flameofcertainty

because otherwise i might literally die

shadowed-moonrise

fuck

flameofcertainty

fast forward to 3423, the neighbor comes and asks for the money back

actually he'd been doing that for a while but she'd been able to put him off

we were super not going to be able to pay it back

and the loan was sketchy enough that she wasn't really sure what would happen if she didn't

just that it would probably be worse than normal

i told her i thought it would be okay

when she asked

flameofcertainty

if she

flameofcertainty

people remember fall 3422 as the introduction of the orvaran system

that was just lathande

spring 3423 was when they rolled it out everywhere

even small farming towns need someone to collect garbage, and the jobs paid really well

they had to, if they wanted to find enough people

i thought i'd be okay

shadowed-moonrise

fuck.

flameofcertainty

yeah

flameofcertainty

i was really really wrong

so wrong

shadowed-moonrise

......yeah wow

flameofcertainty

that's why i wound up moving in with a friend, if i'd stayed there a week longer i'd

it wouldn't have been good

shadowed-moonrise

yeah

flameofcertainty

they didn't try to stop me

which is good

would've been silly for them to go to all that work just for me to end up dead anyways

shadowed-moonrise

hey you survived

flameofcertainty

i did

shadowed-moonrise

it was super worth it for them to do it becuase you survived

flameofcertainty

yeah

i know intellectually she's clean

but trying to be in the same room as dad or my older brother is about the same as lighting myself on fire, brain-wise

and if it's her it's worth

*worse

shadowed-moonrise

yeah

can you talk to them online or does that not work either

flameofcertainty

not really

flameofcertainty

they have my email address

they tell me things like 'you have a sister now'

she tried leaving the job once she had enough money to pay the guy back

flameofcertainty

to see if it would help, you know

flameofcertainty

it. uh. didn't.

shadowed-moonrise

yeah.

i was born in 23, which. is good. because if i found out i/my parents had eaten polluted food when i was a baby

shadowed-moonrise

colorjustice says that almost all unverifiable food was actually not polluted but

shadowed-moonrise

well maybe if i payed them enough i could go through the like fucking six month cleaning process? and maybe after that it would be okay?

but im not sure it would be enough

flameofcertainty

yeah

i know what you mean

if i'd been a year younger and they'd told me it was clean i'd've believed them

if i'd been a year older i'd probably just have killed myself

flameofcertainty

one of my friends from the treatment program

didn't make it

shadowed-moonrise

i had a friend in school

who was hyper, worse than me

way worse

shadowed-moonrise

he was *going to school* but just barely, he had to take a bunch of meds with a bunch of side effects to get out of the house at all

shadowed-moonrise

and he was a year older than me

flameofcertainty

oh no

shadowed-moonrise

so their class learned about the food crisis? and he left school that day like normal and he took the train home and he got in the shower with his clothes on and took all his meds at once

flameofcertainty

oh no

shadowed-moonrise

they told me he killed himself but nobody would *tell me why* because like i was hyper too and they were worried about copycat stuff

i stayed in touch with his mom, she told me later

she FOUND him

flameofcertainty

i'm so so sorry

shadowed-moonrise

that

shadowed-moonrise

i cant imagine

finding your dead child

it was pretty hard on me but she was really never the same

flameofcertainty

yeah

wow

that's

i don't really have words

:( :( :(

shadowed-moonrise

yeah

shadowed-moonrise

he was an only child

flameofcertainty

:( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :(

shadowed-moonrise

i think they were sort of saving for another credit but they ended up spending a lot of money on like, building a room for him where he would feel clean, and stuff

and afterwards, it's not like she was going to have another kid after what happened

flameofcertainty

right

shadowed-moonrise

they wanted to take me out of class for the segment on the food crisis for, you know, obvious reasons, but that was winter when i was three and i’d already found out from like being online and reading stuff so i guessed what it was? and they freaked the fuck out when i was like “are you just worried about me finding out about the voan food crisis”

flameofcertainty

were they hoping to just ... pretend it never happened? forever?

it's not like it's easy not to learn about, if you use the internet

shadowed-moonrise

i guess i was going to Find Out When I Was Older

or something

shadowed-moonrise

i mean i understand the thinking there, like the last time was horrible and i could really just have found out later

shadowed-moonrise

the last time being my friend

flameofcertainty

yeah

i see where they were coming from

flameofcertainty

my school kept me out of class for anything pollution-related but obviously they weren't going to stop me from finding out about the food crisis

shadowed-moonrise

......yeah

i am so sorry you had to live through that

flameofcertainty

thanks

flameofcertainty

my parents thought about having me do online school while it was happening

shadowed-moonrise

it was like really really irresponsible to just tell my friend and i’m like not sure what happened there

flameofcertainty

i don't know

flameofcertainty

mesosensitives can be really bad at guessing what's going to hurt us

shadowed-moonrise

part of it is just that grey schools aren’t that well equipped for..... dealing with....... disability, i guess?

flameofcertainty

i had a classmate who thought it would help me not starve if she vividly described what it was like to eat polluted food

shadowed-moonrise

..........what

flameofcertainty

yeah

shadowed-moonrise

i mean, i guess it’s good that they tried to help

but. WHAT

flameofcertainty

our teacher moved the seating chart so i wouldn't have to sit next to her

and gave me permission to not go to the cafeteria during lunch

but yeah, i am really not sure how she came to that conclusion

shadowed-moonrise

yeah wow

flameofcertainty

i guess if she thought i was going to starve to death unless she did something

shadowed-moonrise

sometimes i wish i could just live in a hyper colony

shadowed-moonrise

even though like i’m sort of a weird hyper? they might have called it sensitivity disorder nos if i didn’t take so many decontam showers for no reason

but it would still be BETTER

flameofcertainty

there would be a lot of nice things about that

on the other hand sometimes i hear about a hyper person thinking something is polluted and my brain decides 'oh, they must be right'

even though it was fine before

and i bet that would happen a lot more

shadowed-moonrise

oh no

shadowed-moonrise

if we all thought that the UNION of the things we thought were polluted were polluted.......

we would die very quickly, i guess

flameofcertainty

yeah

shadowed-moonrise

“oh this one guy (MADE UP) said water is polluted so uh goodbye cruel world i guess”

flameofcertainty

and even without that we'd need robots or something

to take care of garbage

shadowed-moonrise

yeah

i think robots are more of a political problem than a technological one, maybe we could get away with “look we’re a hyper colony we can’t even TALK TO THE OUTSIDE WORLD most days much less murder anybody”

flameofcertainty

i think it's like

flameofcertainty

if people spent a decade developing them then they'd have them

but they aren't mostly, because of the politics

shadowed-moonrise

right that makes sense

flameofcertainty

i'm fine with mesosensitives most days, but then *sometimes* it's like they decided to figure out how to be maximally terrible

shadowed-moonrise

honestly so many jobs should be automated not bc pollution but just bc they could be and those people could then do a more skilled job or live in the country and make art or whatever but we can’t build robots at all bc of the political thing

like assembly lines could go a lot more automated than they are and then we’d just be richer and fewer as a society

shadowed-moonrise

i feel very Solidarity with hypos but sometimes..... they too........ are the worst

maybe we could get nice hypos for our colony to take care of us

flameofcertainty

maybe

flameofcertainty

there are totally nice hypos but there are also hypos who do things like put untagged photos of pollution on the internet

shadowed-moonrise

yeah it really varies a lot

shadowed-moonrise

sometimes talking to hypos is calming bc mesos are like “but MY pollution instinct says this isn’t polluted” and that doesn’t help me at all but i have an amateur theologian hypo friend who can just talk me through the theological position and that helps a lot more

flameofcertainty

it's good that you have that

flameofcertainty

and we're not perfect either

there are hypersensitives who think orvaran system workers need to all be executed

or that if you don't do [insert absurdly specific thing here] you're not really hyper

flameofcertainty

like i can't handle being around mom but i don't want people to murder her

shadowed-moonrise

yeah

i definitely like

think that there’s an objective position on pollution

shadowed-moonrise

and it’s probably not exactly the theological one but it’s closer to that than to my paranoia

shadowed-moonrise

and honestly like... i *get* it but it just takes an insane amount of arrogance to be like, “of all the billions and billions of people with pollution instincts, mine is the objective truth and everybody else, including an entire scientific field, is wrong”

flameofcertainty

oh i also saw this one person saying everyone alive during the food crisis needed to be executed

that one was "fun"

shadowed-moonrise

oh my fucking

fuck that person so much

also how are they planning to run society after they’ve killed everyone over four???????

flameofcertainty

i don't know???

shadowed-moonrise

also i feel a lot of people with proposals involving doing lots of murder........... fail to account for the fact that corpses are polluted

flameofcertainty

yeah

flameofcertainty

anyways

how's life been

shadowed-moonrise

a WONDERFUL PRETTY NICE blue hired me and i might maybe have a crush

flameofcertainty

eeeee congratulations!

shadowed-moonrise

i don’t know how to approach this tho

“hey baby...... i would have sex with you for free (on a good day)”

flameofcertainty

if they've hired you a couple times you could ask? or something?

flameofcertainty

i am kind of bad at relationship advice

shadowed-moonrise

yes i think that i will actually do is like

wait a while and see if he contacts me

and then maybe ask him out or something

flameofcertainty

good luck!!

shadowed-moonrise

how’ve you been

shadowed-moonrise

also, i saw you post an out of stock green and purple scarf and i could try to make you something like it

i can’t do literally that but i’m thinking like getting some white silk and waxing designs on it and then dyeing it one color and then drawing on the designs in the other

this might be totally the wrong way to go about it but it sounds fun

flameofcertainty

gosh, that's really nice of you

flameofcertainty

if you ended up doing this i'd have a couple of sensitivity-related materials requests but i don't think any of them would actually make the project impossible

shadowed-moonrise

i think that kind of project would be fun rn, what are your materials requests?

flameofcertainty

the main one is not from [link to list of countries that have done cleaning and integrated ex-reds]

or eles decontaminatable

*else

but i think that might mess up the dyes?

shadowed-moonrise

ok i can do that

yeah i think it’s probably easier to just buy from not those countries than to try to... decontaminate..... dyes

shadowed-moonrise

like most commercial clothes are decontaminatable and........ have colors but they know what they’re doing and i do not

flameofcertainty

yeah

now i want to do something nice for you, help

shadowed-moonrise

umm i really like [space shoenberg], you could record yourself playing one of his pieces? although idk how much you can do that on just violin

flameofcertainty

i'll try my best

maybe i can find an arrangement or something

shadowed-moonrise

that’s so nice of you

you don’t have to, i’ll like, enjoy the project anyway

i’m not sure how to make green and purple work well as a color combo, do you mind if there’s other colors?

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survivor-ingary · 3 years

Text

Episode 3 - "RIP tribe Jenkins we were too powerful" - Riley

The 3 tribes of Pendragon, Hatter, and Jenkins have been reorganized and condensed into 2 new Hatter and Pendragon Tribes. Tribal immunity is Scavenger Hunt.

The fact I have Brayden and Toph in my merged tribe boosts my serotonin. i have a feeling colin may be someone to keep an eye out for in the future now...

RIP tribe Jenkins we were too powerful. I guess we'll see how Pendragon pans out.

yall doin me dirty putting me with brayden i just hope that by some miracle me him anastasia and ellie can work together? like i still dont know if theyre plotting on my ass vdshibshj i know brayden told anastasia to take me out when this game started oop but lemme see if dis works. i hope riley follows the logic of the old tribe sticking together and thatll be 5 votes. im kinda obsessed with toph like since the beginning of the game he looks like someone i could totally play with so def wanna work on that relationship. ava and nya? i believe? lets say hello and work on those relationships as well. dis is a bit overwhelming but we shall see how it goes

uh... well... i am SCREWED. me and ginny were the only ones separated from the Jenkins tribe... RIP. 4 pendragons, 2 hatters, and 2 jenkins... the main things i see here are pendragon yoinking one of the hatters / jenkins and voting the other off... OR a 4-4 tie... OR they're gonna target one of me or ginny cuz none of us have gone to tribal council yet. this is really dicey, and I need to tread very, very carefully from hereon. (ALSO GINNY BARELY TALKS PLS I NEED YOUR HELP GIRL)

This swap actually turned out pretty amazing for me. I still have Keith and Moth who I worked semi-close with in the pre-swap. Additionally, I've met up with Colin and Babs. A little Raffy magic could keep me very safe on this tribe. I think Kenneth is super fun as he is a newbie AND active. He will definitely make it far in this game. I hope, at the very least, that I can be by his side to make that happen. However, I am wary he might just be making these strong social connections with everyone. As a final note, OG Pendragons have this tribe 4 to 8. That's both good and bad. Good because we have numbers. Bad because that may make people target me very early on just for being a part of it. So, I have decided that if I were to throw any of my OG Pendragons to the wolves it would be Jonathan as I haven't been able to connect with them as well as Keith and Moth. Other than that, I hope this tribe doesn't have to go to tribal all that often between now and the next swap/merge. These people are lovely.

I'm getting a bad feeling about this... Since most of my Jenkins tribemates are on the other tribe, I KNOW they're good cuz we just keep getting W's... so I think there is a good chance we might lose the challenge. I contributed a good amount, so I hope that the target won't be on me if ever we lose the challenge :( I really don't wanna go, and I wanna reunite with Dennis/Ellie and maybe Anastasia and get further in the game.

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i worked hard on this confessional

Our tribe did our absolute best in this challenge. I have no idea who is getting targeted if we go to tribal as everyone is so quiet. All I know is that I want to keep Colin, Kenneth, and Keith close to me for this stage of the game. They are the only ones who consistently talk to me. Challenge results: Pendragon wins due to a 10% advantage, Hatter Tribe must go to tribal council the following day.

THANK GOD I FINALLY GET TO GO TO A TRIBAL, ITS BEEN TOO LONG!!!!

Look, before you go to tribal with a group of people it feels like there’s a barrier of game socialization because you haven’t been able to go to tribal with them. But leading up to tribal and after it, a whole new can of worms is available for game talk. Unfortunately it’s an extremely simple vote because Nya has ghosted all of us, but at least we still get to go to tribal so I can talk game with more people even if it’s only a small amount with this easy vote. But who knows, someone might decide to switch shit up!

And also I absolutely love this tribe (Minus Nya cause I haven’t met them) so I’m glad that I get to go forward with this group although I won’t be nearly as happy if we go to tribal again because as I said, I do enjoy this group of people a lot

Moth (Tumblr will only allow me 10 images so player banners stop now, whoops) I believe the only reason I will make it to the next round is because of Raffys advantage. I’d be so screwed otherwise

I like Babs. They got good vibes.

Also I’d kill to know how the other tribe reacted

Dennis in a perfect world i would try to not vote out nya but bdksksksoksks theyve done it to themselves. no need to make waves. unless someone else is secretly plotting on me i think this is about to be an easy tribal. damn one point. miss ellie had her name down on stuff that she didnt do. also overslept that first challenge is she purposey trying to sabotage and play the villain? who knowssss also ive broken my streak of never going to tribe tribal sigh

Toph So what’s happening, I can’t remember the last time I made a confession but the tea yall ?! Soooo the tribe swap happened and my gut was right soooo okay intuition work ! I feel like I really like everyone from the merge and nya as remained inactive since, after losing the challenge it seems like an easy vote but you can never be to safe, I have my little allinnce with Brayden and Ava which is wig and I really dig Ellie , Anastasia, and Dennis too, I’m gonna be so nervous if we have to go to tribal agian because it could be me ! I’m not to sure about Reilly but they seem nice ! I feel pretty good with Anastasia as well and feel we could rope her into an alliance easily, I’m just gonna due my best right now to play the middle, keep my head down and speak positively. I really need to find an idol or something even better just so I don’t have to worry as super much and just plain worry then lol. If anything I’m gonna stay loyal to brayden and Ava the most since there my day one homies. Brayden seems to be close with Anastasia which could definitely help in are favor of having the numbers on are side. But could mean he would easily cut me for her if needed, so that mean I need to get closer with Ava, just to gaurnetee my safety, I have to look out for me this game and only me, making sure the numbers are kn my side I’m constantly on the right side of the vote should help me strageticly float to the end and win my crown thank you very much. I’m also lowkey worried about alliance’s being made right now without me! Everyone seems to be online but my chats are a bit quite but this could be me overthinking things mmmhmm I’m not sure, we’ll anyways it was nice to vent to y’all. :)

Riley Nooooooo I can't believe we lost by just one point. Damn the Hatter tribe's secret bonus point boost >:(

Kenneth I am honestly in such a shock that we won that challenge... Raffy really came in clutch and helped us win AAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! Now I don't have to worry about being randomly blindsided or targeted for at least a couple more days now pls I just hope we get lucky again and another swap happens where I would be on the right side of the numbers, all prepared for merge domination >:) Raffy Oof. I know the other tribe is MAD because I would be too. Like, we only won because of my advantage giving us a 1 POINT LEAD. That's crazy! Honestly, this works for me as I can still focus o n making strong social connections within this tribe. By the time we go to tribal, I will be so integrated with this tribe that voting me out would do a lot more short-term harm than long-term good. I want to see if Kenneth would start an alliance with me as that is someone I want to work closely with. In this alliance? I have no idea. I'll probably let Kenneth take the lead on that since I want him to feel like he is in charge. Dennis nothing is real

if i go tonight i would applaud it bc i am so sure nya is going. it would be a goop if the vote really wasnt nya but everyone is more or less trying to do the easy thing i think. i just hope she is okay and just too busy for dis.

some time has gone by and im just chilling. im not chilling because i feel safe, im chilling because i dont know what else to do. i cant be all game talk 24/7 because then im an outcast and would get targeted. besides the obvi alliances like a+b and maybe(?!?!??) an e(?!) in there, idk what alliances there are. like there has to be something but i dont have the picture yet. as yall know im not in any alliances in my current tribe besides i guess ellie who i fear is a saboteur lol and most likely working with a+b. a+b are such a double edged sword for me ugh. am i really in their best interests???????????????? am i really in ellies best interest???? do they know about her idol too?????????? likeeeee thats the issue. if im not really in their best interests then im the next to go after nya. i am probs very low if not the lowest on this tribe if dats true. i mean what if i really am in their best interests and theyre all genuinely trying to work with me? idk! if not then im next to go efuhijdhvbf and i fear im probably not.

i really like toph. taurus sun (in the 12th!) gemini everything else king. hes got social game on lock like who wouldnt wanna work with him ?! and hes a cutie ?! ?! ?! but i seen the chart -.- i know what hes doin. i think hes working with ellie. but he reaches out to me and probably others but i like our conversations. (but im sure everyone loves their conversations with toph!! hes great!!!!! friendly ol toph wont harm a fly ?!) i hope he likes me and sees i actually would wanna work with him above all the gorls and chooses me over them too.

ava also knows what theyre doing. saturnian legend. we barely talk but little short bits here and there. i hope its bc theyre busy but im sure ellie is talking to them more than me amongst others too. oop also possible alliance, brayden toph ava who all swapped together. so gotta keep that in mind. but yeah i dont really think im much of their priority esp if theyre on vacay they would hear a name and not stress too much if its mine bc we dont have ties like that.

riley and i talk here and there, had a lil chat today

someone once told me that i just look like someone you cant trust but you can :( sometimes :)

so yeah here i am having lots of thoughts over the last few days.

maybe im not super super invested just yet bc i feel like the rug is gonna get swept out right from under me again :))) also back on my bs telling people im a leo moon. i shouldnt weaponize astrology but hey.

#episodes

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survivorgalaxysedge · 4 years

Text

Episode 6 | Your Social Game Is On 0! - MJ

youtube

WHOOPS I KINDA DID THAT, SORRY KEEGAN, YOU DID ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WRONG I JUST NEED EVERYONE ON THIS TEAM TO BE BFFS WITH ME

also just realized that at final 13 i know well over half of the people in the game..... love that for me!! -close with ali, jonathan, and zoe over here both separately & together -mj obvs -cindi and jay are known quantities -jules is great too -so only ones i don’t know.... silver, zach, asya, nathan & jessie i know i can work with at least half of the ones i know, probably more - only real question mark is cindi cuz she was a little sus originally, and jay i hope is still good but i think he and keegan were close so might have to work on explaining that one. but overall, i feel pretty well set for merge whenever it gets here, and hopefully the next couple votes can get rid of some of those ones i don’t know. onward and upward! we’ll see!!!

youtube

I don't really do much text confessionals but I just ranted in my host chat so I'm sending it here. ~~This Round~~ this round is gonna be fun, so much fun, and I won't have to do like any gameplay because I think regardless the trian tribe is going to tribal and I wanna see how that plays out, and then if my tribe goes to tribal I'm gonna dip out using my safety without power and let silver kill an og circi since he's gonna pull out that extra vote however, if asya or jules have an advantage / if mj flips that's fine with me too. I'm still debating playing the solar eclipse. I want to cause chaos, and for what? For no reason. *Moments Later* I spun a wheel to determine what I will do this round, and it landed on not playing the solar eclipse and noping out. that's what I'm doing. now you may ask for the strategic value of letting a circi die? Well, if a Circi goes (or two circis go if it's an andro/circi tribal), I'm suddenly 1/2 of my OG tribe left. People may want to pick me up and use me as a number since I will have no allegiance to anyone. This puts me in a lowkey kind of decent position if I lie and say I was gonna be voted out if I didn't safety w/o power. Also playing a safety without power and claiming the magnet would statistically mean I am less likely to have other advantages since other people had searches stockpiled for the swap I'll probably test the waters for a bit after immunity results and then play the magnet to make it look like it wasn't planned and I just got a bad feeling. In other words: I'm turning the crackhead dial-up, it's time for fun! I swear to god if we don't merge after this round I will scream. ~~Planning for the Future~~ oh my god it could be a 10 person merge. because the merge episode is usually episode 8. we're on 6 but that wouldn't make sense to prevent a 5 > 1 person tribe from occurring and 5 votes in a swap seems like a bit much. I feel like at this point I know I probably won't win this game but I'm gonna give them hell while I'm here playing well is boring People on this cast that will probably try to kill me: Cindi, Jay, Nathan, Maybe Jesse? I haven't really spoken much to MJ or Silver, chances are my closest ally is going home this round, Zoe Jonathan and Ari may pick me up if I'm from a minority tribe but dump me very quickly. From my POV the cards are not in my favor, all I have are my advantages so the path of chaos is more beneficial plus I'm sure it's spread I'm pretty good at immunities in merge so they're gonna try to take me out early on like round 1 or 2, So if I want any chance I need to play the following way Since I cannot depend on social connections as much as I normally would 1. Make sure my existing social connections are voted out so that I am not in the group where I don't have the best social connections but I have enough that it is worrisome 2. Play my advantages early in merge if I don't win immunity, cementing myself as a big target 3. Convince people that nobody will take me deep into the game because I have placed myself in the position of a big target 4. Try to get the people that would be 100% against me voted out, while also watching Andro tribe majority. Basically making Andro and Trian fight each other 5. Win immunities near the end and somehow make it deep??? That's my best case scenario at this point in my opinion.

youtube

So like we won immunity . Wow see what happens when we actually try? Isn’t that nice . Idc who goes really I can make new bonds or whatever with people if silver goes but in the ideal scenario he will stay. But tbh I have no power over what happens tonight so I don’t care. Hoping merge happens next

youtube

ok so i have a little cute vote chat for me jules and mj. mj is spilling EVERYTHING abt his OG tribe including how they blindsided my wife pippa... rude. also abt his idol searches. he's a smart cookie and one to watch for but i also like him and need friends so<3

THIS SUCKS SO MUCHHHHHH ALI I AM SO SORRY

Having to remind myself that is entirely okay to be vengeful and even be blinded by revenge in these games. I've become way too soft for these things in the past couple of years. As of right now, tonight's tribal council should be 2-1-1, since Zach is skipping -- 2 votes for Silver (Asya, Jules), 1 vote Jules (Silver), and 1 vote Asya (me). If Silver's 50/50 coin lands on SAFE, the it’ll tie between Aysa and Jules and I think I’ll get auto-eliminated if it’s rocks instead of a 1v1 tiebreaker, and I’m OK with that I think! If it lands on NOT SAFE then Silver is leaving, period! And Silver deserves to leave, and I shouldn't feel nervous about taking this shot, no matter if it backfires or not. It makes me feel icky to think that Nathan, Jessie, and Silver were in cahoots from the very start and I didn't care enough to control my own game because I've become too accustomed to jellyfishing my way through ORGs to avoid being pinpointed as a leader or strategist. I'm putting my foot down tonight. I'm taking this shot and if it works, then it's merely the beginning of the end for half of the remaining cast as far as I'm concerned. If it backfires, then oh well, at least I tried something here. NO REGRETS! Anyway, just had the first alliance call with Aysa and Jules and it was great! Good vibes! We just chit-chatted and discussed strategy and previous dynamics. It will be a shame if we don’t get to push forward together after tonight. I’m also telling Silver right now not to play the 50/50 befcause if it doesn’t land on safe then the vote will be 3-2 if Aysa is lying; and if Aysa is telling the truth then he’s wasting a power that he could have later on. It kinda makes no sense for him to use the 50/50 considering the information he’s being told. I’m fine with pitching this to him because he said he was 100% gonna use it anyway, so me telling him not to will either leave things the same or result in him not using it at all. There’s no losing there. The only way to lose is if it lands on safe. The savage in me is saying, no MJ don’t let yourself get auto-eliminated if things go south, CUT JULES! And I realize that that’s exactly how I should be thinking given the first two lines of this confessional!!! But I wanna be a risk taker. I’m fine with this blowing up because the potential reward is greater than me being auto-eliminated. + Jack was rocked out last season so it would be cute to match that if it comes down to it! I hope it doesn’t, but it’s fine either way. I feel like this game owes me. Silver's 50/50 will not land on safe.

ALSO on this alliance call, I was informed that the adventure reset?!?!?!?! AND I HAVEN'T DONE THEM IN A WEEK???? LMFAOOOOO anyway.

AHHHH why did I volunteer to go first in the challenge ugh I remembered the wrong shit lol. But this tribal I dont think I have to use my 50/50 since asya doesn't wanna go to rock so she'll vote Jules with us. So yeah I think I'll be ok. Asya told me Jules is voting MJ. I'm just hoping this isnt gonna be a big blindside towards me but yeah wish me luck

okay, here's the plan. silver has the glowing orb 50/50 coin thing. i expect him to play it. silver's voting me. im voting silver and so is asya. mj is king of the key here. if mj votes silver and the orb makes him safe, then im gone. if mj votes asya (hang on, ive just had a realization and just had to sit in silence for a while whilst i process it.) okay. if mj votes asya and the coin makes silver safe, it'll be 2-1-1, with a tie between me and asya. which im just now realizing could send it to rocks where mj would be the one leaving............. boy howdy, sure wish i knew how to count. okay, yeah. we'll just hope that the coin lands on NOT SAFE -or- he doesnt play it at all. mj and asya are telling him that they're voting me out, so maybe he'll feel comfy enough not to use it. i dont WANT asya to be voted out, but it's better than me or mj being the vote. if mj gets rocked out by default because i didnt realize how to count....... oops!!! but silver has a bunch of advantages, so him getting voted out would flush those out. asya has an immunity shard and id like to think that she'd will it to me if she gets voted out, but eye dee kay!

AHHH sorry this is coming so late but I've had a busy busy few days, and luckily I've avoided tribal during this time lol So before I was feeling a bit shaky on this tribe, I felt like everyone was more connected to each other than to me. But as it turns out, that's completely untrue and I feel very at the center of this tribe. Nathan and I have had multiple long talks recently where we've decided that we want to stick together deep into this game, and he's given me some info about how he and Silver gave up their immunity shards to Jessie, so she has an idol now. Cindi and I have a connection from our original tribe too and I've been keeping up on that relationship too. I gave her a clue I found during an expedition but nothing really came of it since it's, as far as I can tell, impossible to decipher. If we did end up going to tribal, I would have made a push to take out Jessie TBH, even though she has the idol. I feel like even if Nathan wasn't for it, they'd go for Cindi and not me. But luckily that doesn't matter because we're immune and likely heading for a merge in the next 30 minutes. And if not a merge, than another swap bc I think y'all hosts anticipated that one tribe could have lost all of the last 3 immunities and I don't think you want a 2 person tribe at the f11. But yeah I feel really good about my place in the game, I want Nathan to be my shield for the time being bc he's so vocal and strategic that he will always be a target ahead of me.

I have put so much work in to stay

I BETTER STAY

All this fighting for nothing smh <3 it is not looking good

youtube

#toinfinityandsurvive

0 notes

unproduciblesmackdown · 6 years

Note

27, orange, blue??

27. what is a piece of advice you have for young / baby gayshmm do your own thing!! a lot of times when you’re just starting out w ideas about your identity, and ideas about how you wanna act/dress/be now that you know heteroness is not a concern, it’s great to be able to look at some persons style or some general concepts & be like, “i like that,” but remember that you can pick & choose & do your own mixes of things and dont have to feel like you match a certain Aesthetic or whatever. that isnt so much Fashion Advice as it is simply saying there is no right way or rules to expressing yourself as a gay person! you make the rules...however you want to do it is inherently The Gay Way. this also goes for gendery things of course, there is no right way to express your identity or behave or feel for gays and noncis kids alike. do ya damn thing ☆彡🍊🧡orange: what makes you feel warm inside? being gay, for real. i love being gay & i love other gay ppl being happy.. what’s your favorite halloween tradition? ahh idk i dont really have any traditions so the exact day doesnt have much luster for me. the tv selection of horror movies tends to be terrible. ive never gone to haunted houses (as in the ones you get tickets to or the ones you break into) but it could be fun. i like horror and halloweenish things a lot in general but uhh....making a jackolantern is always fun. and having it sit out there lit up. what’s the last thing you learned? uh news via twitter. when’s the last time you felt obsessed? umn idk i dont get too Focused on something that often...that one time i unshuffled the mh dvd cover i was pretty intense abt finishing it. sorry to everyone i ignored at the dining hall to finish it. that was abt 7 yrs ago and i havent done anything since. what’s your favorite article of clothing? i have a dark grey tshirt that says “steer clear i’m queer” with a chill design, a good fit, its comfy, it’s driven away het nonsense & attracted gays 🌈🧡🍊🦋💙blue: what do you do when you’re sad? take a depression nap, watch the office or vines or other fun videos... what are some things you do when you can’t sleep? i’m really good at sleeping, this doesn’t happen often so i tend to lie there annoyed that i cant sleep. i guess on rare occasion i read also. what was the best (non-romantic) night you’ve had? just a few times i got to hang out w ppl at various times and events or the couple concerts i went to....i’ve never had much going for me so thats always been the best. kind of covers do you have on your bed? i have a target blanket i bought one winter. its fuzzy and pretty warm. who is the last person you told a secret to? hmm i dont ever really have secrets i tell to Nobody....i suppose sometimes i’ll tell shit to ppl who message me at random on account of theres no damage in them knowing my shame or whatever. i mean theres no damage in anyone else knowing really but then they might have to think about it whenever they encounter me. 💙🦋

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bigbrothernetflix-st · 4 years

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EPISODE TWO

“I'm starting to feel more comfortable with my position in the game.” - dem

HOH: Josh C UPSIDE DOWN: Nick & Joshua NOMINEES: Emma & Nash POV: N/A FINAL NOMINEES: N/A EVICTED: Dem (Expelled)

EMMA

I been struggling in this game which is sad i want to have fun but yesterday made me feel like maybe having a meltdown and leaving 90 percent of servers was a good idea for me i really hope not i just really want to have fun and win for some reasons i always have trouble prejury in games trying to find my footing but at jury and late prejury i always know how to rise ASDFGH the people i really like rn are Jakey loml jev loml aria queen saira queen and also joshua is easy to talk too!!! nathan is also great

DEM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HSgjyUhGTng

NASH

i simply think men should stop winning hoh and trying to nom me. its week 2 go target someone else j*sh. jev and i are cool now though <3 love him

DEM

I'm starting to feel more comfortable with my position in the game. I think I'm not in anyone's bad graces so far, which is good. But I really need to win one of these next HoH's so secure my social relationships. My plan moving forward is to see win HoH's. I want to win the next to HoH's I'm eligible in back to back. I also want to try to secure my relationships with Gina, Jev, and Jake. Those are three people I want to be close with in this game. Also maybe Joshua? He's pretty cool and chill.

SAIRA

I'm still getting a sense of how the game works but I feel pretty good, there are some people that are much easier to talk to than others but everyone is still so nice! i feel good about josh c as hoh! we get along pretty well and I don't THINK im in any danger but you never know! imma be honest, I don't have an actual plan, i'm mostly playing this by ear, just talking to people, bullying beck when the chance arises, and being myself!

JOSH C

HELLO GIRLIES!

well, we won HOH and that's really EXCITING. i probably didn't need to win this week but i figured that i'd get a win under my belt while nominating people would still be EASY. i can establish trust with some people and get a "i didn't nom you, please don't nom me" situation going on. i also feel like the two people i'm going to nominate would have NOMMED me anyways because we just haven't talked..

who those people are? nash & emma. (vl don't hate me for only nominating women i didn't want it to come to this either)

but i just.. both of them have really only put in any effort to talk to me now that i'm HOH and i don't really LOVE that tbh. i've already told a few people that's who i'm thinking so i kind of accidentally locked myself in on these noms because there isn't any sense in throwing out more names than i have to!!

i have an alliance with kiki, brianna, jacob, jake, and aria. (i think that's the people in it? i wanna say that's right. LKFMSDG love this game for me) and i feel pretty good in that because i like all of them enough and they're people that will watch out for ME and each other. but i know my social connections go beyond that so i'm feeling pretty good with my spot in the game? i have a solid relationship with almost everyone in the game and i think i should be able to play a cute lil utr game for a few weeks. i don't think that i'll get targeted first if my alliance gets outed and if so.. i have ENOUGH faith in my comp strength and relationships to save me against MOST of the cast.

people kind of want me to nominate DEM because apparently he starts drama with people and has been a bit inactive. he's talked with me more than other people so im not super keen on throwing him on the block RIGHT AWAY but i'm thinking he's a good replacement nom because if people think he's MIA then no one other than him will be upset with me. maybe a backdoor? could be spicy..

i don't really know what else to say here so.. i hope this is enough! love u guys <3

BRIANNA

https://youtu.be/mJw3qxsZ-Bg

JEV

Okay so I feel like pretty comfortable this week because me and Josh have gotten pretty close and bonded over our mutual love of Lucas HOWEVER he's just let me know he's gonna be nominating Nash and Emma which isn't GREAT since I'm in alliances with both of them and they're the only 2 alliances I have so I really wouldn't want to see either of them go home this week, this SUCKS ASS

JAKE

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tt2xRQqqax8

ARIA

how is it ONLY week 2 i feel so hecking exhausted fhsabfd, but that might also be the fact that is 2 am so,,,oop. Um okay recap time!!!! Recaps are so hard because theres minor details that i still want to note without seeming super annoying so heres a minor list of things im noticing

-Dem wants to "start playing the game" I told this to Jake (wish i could bold names ugh)

-Gina & dem told me they were gunning hard for hoh- i told nathan/monty/nick/,,,,and someone else this

-emma feels unconnected from cast

-Jake doesnt like Gina

-Josh likes Me Jev Kiki (told joshua)

-emma knows alliances are starting to form

-joey can get pwr hungry and chaotic + good comp ability

-told gnia my thoughts on the sides being "connected v unconnected" and other tidbits of info

-GIna (potentially joshua) doesnt like nash

-Nathan/Nash ARE CLOSE!!!!! WEE FUCKING WOO!!!!

-Told Jake that Jacob has the power (and the bs excuse he told gina pretending he doesnt have it,,,sure jan)

-jake is GREAT at lowering his threat lvl im sick

-Jev-Josh-Nathan-Nash all bonded p well on vc potentially an alliance

-jake tried to get gina nominated

-Emma Nash noms

-Jake doesnt want emma to leave

So,,,thats what you missed on GLEE! Honestly glee sucks but yeah thats all my info i would weave everything together with cute transitions but im TIRED and lots of this information doesnt really connect well so,,,have a bullet list!

okok nvm heres some general thoughts bc JUST a bullet point list is so boringgg im honestly not too sure what i want to do this week bc i think emma doesnt have a lot of people (although she has jake apparently,,,she might just be putting up a front of being unconnected ffs) so i would rather keep her around based on our relationship alone esp compared to nash whose been busy w/ irl things to reply i think (nash would prob do gr8 in old school bb,,,but new school is a whole other beast) HOWEVER!!! I need to protect gina who isn't the best conversationalist (sorry bb ily but its true <3) and keeping nash around ensures people have another "inact" target besides her but also nash is such a god connection for people like nathan and jacob and i would rather get her out sooner than later before we have another renee on our hands ...

Also i havent talked to the pasio peeps (omg if we ever make an alliance,,,that should be the name hehe) in a while and idk if theyre distancing themselves or if theyre just busy fndsjafd god im too paranoid for this game its awful. Also i think i mentioned the alliance with josh kiki bri jake jacob last time and it still isnt made and im PRAYINGGG it never gets made bc i have SUCH an awful feeling like SIX FUCKING PEOPLE??? S I X?? THAT IS GOING TO FAIL AND BLOW UP!!!! but i cant say no to an alliance so here i fucking am :/ also im trying to think of my longevity in this game and like,,, idk im nervous. I mean ive mentioned going to the end with multiple people but i have such a bad feeling im gonna go out 9/10 as a big move and i REFUSE to let that shit happen, not on my fucking watch no sir!! Not sure what to do about it yet but i feel like monty in particular doesnt trust me and i need his ass OUT! or maybe not if he comes around but like??? sir pls talk to me- i mean this phase of the game is early im setting up the pawns for later, but before later theres gonna be a couple explosions of my game which i'll have to deal with,,, or maybe not actually i mean in my first org i did a really well mastermind game with it- nvm it did explode on me once FDBSHFDS yeah so theres gonna be an explosion period but i think im getting good at dealing w/ the backlash from it and reintegrating myself..

oh also yeah im safe this week lol

anyway sorry for rambling so much LMAO have a trust ranking!

1.Gina (MY QUEEN!!!!!!!! i LOVE her!)

-BIG BIG FUCKING GAP-

2.Jake (listen,,,my thoughts go back and forth but he did tell me the noms so,,,have some rights)

3.Saira (we never talk game but i dont think she talks with anyone about game beyond maybe nick and also shes nice and im a sucker for nice girls)

4.Emma (if this isnt all just a front shes gonna make a great number for me,, might need to fact check some of her statements tho)

5.Joshua (honestly? i love him hes so funny and i think he has my back although he could be more act)

6.Nathan (literally havent talked in 3 days but also i have a soft spot for him <3)

-GAP-

sorry the Js are just kinda scary lmao JFNSDKF

7.Nick (!! we gotta an actual connection folks!! heck yeah!)

8.Josh c (im safe! but he D E F trusts others more than me such as Joshua and Jacob)

9.Jev (honestly a king but hes a little quiet although his reccs are the BOMB)

10.Jacob (i know youre being sneaky,,,idk what youre being sneaky with but im getting the vibes)

11.Dem (might be weird but i think he trusts me? at least a little bc he ranted about losing to me so O.0)

12.Brianna (youre adorable and deserve the world but everyone likes you,,,is this how people view me omg fhsabfhds)

13.Kiki (youre SO hecking sweet and actually u probs have a connections to nash but we havent talked ANY game yet)

14.Nash (p,,p-please talk to me uwu)

15.Joey (i dont trust you at ALL! Why? good question-)

was that mean? sorry in advance ilyall but also its 3 am brain empty no filter

NASH

i think jev and nathan might end up being good allies of mine (inb4 betrayal)! despite the mistake he made nomming me, talking to jev has been lovely so far he's getting me into loona LMFAO. and i just love nathan's energy & i feel like as the season goes on i can see him winning comps. i'm excited :3 hope josh c does not end my existence this week

JOEY

I feel FANTASTIC about Josh being HoH. I’m making sure that others are coming to me about gameplans, and I’m making sure I don’t come off as too pushy or aggressive in PMs. With most of the players, I’m trying to give them all the same energy and hype. It seems kinda weird to say this, but I’m not concerned about being nominated at this point. What I need to ensure is building my social relationships with people outside the “Crackhouse”, and yes that big ol friend group moved to Discord in 20 minutes like 6 months ago.

This is the first major game I’ve ever played with Skinny Nick(yes, I’m absolutely confused as to what to call them, I’m so used to calling Nick “Eve” that its going to take time to adjust.) Speaking of Nick, my social relationship with him is actually surprisingly similar. In the past, I felt as though it would be as “on-sight” as Tom & Jerry, and it actually isn’t turning out that way, which is surprisingly refreshing. Every day, I’m making sure I send Nick something different to diversify my social game with them. Yesterday, I asked Nick about his preferred streaming services for music and TV, and I discovered we have the same music service(Apple Music).

I’ve played one game with Monty before, but it was a disaster. We were in pairs, and it felt like we were on different planets. I did tell him to not worry about personal feelings when it comes to this game, because I compared the relationship of BB Netflix and the Crackhouse to the separation of church and state. I made that comparison because the two entities of church and state should never cross, but when they do it becomes disastrous, and I feel as though that same principle applies to this game.

Overall, I feel good, Emma may be going up on the block, but it shouldn’t affect me that much. We’re in the early stage, I want to make sure I’m good with everyone.

ARIA

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kFeox7LM1-E

JAKE

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OLkZ-BIIjTU

HOUSE MEETING

https://youtu.be/BZMorvWvyKY

HOST WEEKLY CAST ASSESSMENT WEEK 1 & 2

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vc-iMpkfrdw&list=PLFEwPPy8j010XXwntq80VSU0qLNTNpSIN&index=3&t=0s

#bbnetflix st

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the-master-cylinder · 4 years

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SUMMARY As the Earth crosses the tail of a comet, previously inanimate machines suddenly spring to life; an ATM insults a customer (King in a cameo) and a bascule bridge rises during heavy traffic, causing all vehicles upon the bridge to fall into the river or collide. Chaos sets in as machines of all kinds begin attacking humans. At a roadside truck stop just outside Wilmington, North Carolina, an employee, Duncan Keller, is blinded after a gas dispenser sprays diesel in his eyes. A waitress, Wanda June, is injured by an electric knife, and arcade machines in the back room electrocute another victim. Employee and ex-convict Bill Robinson begins to suspect something is wrong. Meanwhile, at a Little League game, a vending machine kills the coach by firing canned soda point-blank into his skull. A driverless steamroller flattens one of the fleeing children, but one named Deke Keller (Duncan’s son) manages to escape on his bike.

A newly-wed couple, Connie (Yeardley Smith) and Curtis (John Short), stop at a gas station, where a brown tow truck tries to kill Curtis, but he and Connie escape in their car. Deke rides through his town as humans and even pets are brutally killed by lawnmowers, chainsaws, electric hair dryers, pocket radios, and RC cars. At the truck stop, a black Western Star 4800 sporting a giant Green Goblin mask on its grille runs over a Bible salesman after a red garbage truck kills Duncan and dumps some of the junk on the Bible salesman’s car to make him so angry that he insults its “driver”. Later, several big rig trucks encircle the truck stop.

Meanwhile, Connie and Curtis are pursued by a truck, but they make it crash off the side of the road as it exploded. They arrive at the truck stop and try to pass between the trucks, but their car is hit and overturns. Bill and Brett, a hitchhiker, rush to help them, but the trucks attack them. Bill’s boss Hendershot uses M72 LAW rockets he had stored in a bunker hidden under the diner to destroy many of the trucks. Deke makes it to the truck stop later that evening and tries to enter via the sewers, but is obstructed by the wire mesh covering the opening. That night, the survivors hear the Bible salesman screaming in a ditch, and Bill and Curtis sneak out to help him by climbing through the sewers. Deke finds the Bible salesman and believes he is dead, but he suddenly jumps up and attacks Deke. Bill and Curtis rescue Deke, and a truck chases them back into the pipe.

The next morning, a Caterpillar D7G bulldozer and an M274 Mule drive through the diner. Hendershot uses the rocket launcher to blow the bulldozer away. The Mule fires its post-mounted M60 machine gun into the building, killing several people. The Mule then demands, via sending morse code signals through its horn that Deke deciphers, that the humans pump the trucks’ diesel for them in exchange for their lives. The survivors soon realize they have become enslaved by their own machines. Robinson suggests they escape to a local island just off the coast, on which no motorised vehicles are permitted. While the crew is resting, Robinson theorizes that the comet is actually a “broom” operated by interstellar aliens that are using our machines to destroy humanity so the aliens can repopulate the Earth. During a fueling operation, Robinson sneaks a grenade onto the Mule vehicle, destroying it, then leads the party out of the diner via a sewer hatch to the main road just as the trucks demolish the entire truck stop. The survivors are pursued to the docks by the Green Goblin truck, which manages to kill Brad the trucker. Robinson destroys the truck with a direct hit from an M72 LAW rocket shot. The survivors then sail off to safety. A title card epilogue explains that two days later, a UFO was destroyed by a Soviet “weather satellite” conveniently equipped with class IV nuclear missiles and a laser cannon. Six days later, the Earth passes out of the comet’s tail, and the survivors are still alive.

DEVELOPMENT In the late Seventies. Milton Subotsky purchased seven early King short stories from an American production company. Three of these. “The Lawnmower Man.” “The Mangler” and “Trucks. were targeted to comprise The Machines, which was to be a three part anthology film. Early on. King was approached by Subotsky about writing and directing adaptations of all or part of the material King demurred Referring to the stories, he later told a reporter . I know that if Subotsky made it, it would actually be worse than if they were never made at all. I don’t like to root for my things not to be made, except in certain cases, but…”

Milton Subotsky

Needless to say, Subotsky proceeded without the writer’s input. He commissioned Edward and Valerie Abraham to draft a screenplay using the three King stories. The husband and wife writing team had previously scripted The Monster Club in 1980, Subotsky’s last produced film. Shortly after that film’s release. Subotsky and Max J Rosenberg, the other half of Amicus Productions, became involved in a lengthy, expensive, and less than amicable legal row.

Burdened with court costs, Subotsky sold off some of his King story rights to the De Laurentiis organization. Two stories were eventually used in the Martha Schumacher produced Cat’s Eye. Now. with The Machines script in hand, Subotsky tried to find American financial backing, but to no avail. Again. Schumacher now head of production at De Laurentiis) and Subotsky did some business Schumacher initially purchased all three “mechanical stories for development, but, apparently having convinced King to act as screen writer, ultimately concentrated solely on Trucks.

Subotsky believes King’s claims of never having read the Abrahams’ work, but he has made noises about certain conceptual elements contained in the non. Trucks segments of his commissioned screenplay finding their way into Maximum Overdrive, King’s “Trucks-derived screenplay. Whatever the case. Subotsky received a co-producer’s credit at the end of another De Laurentiis/King film as he had with Cat’s Eye.

When De Laurentiis first acquired the property, he asked King to write the screenplay. King originally declined. De Laurentiis and producer Martha Schumacher approached him again a few weeks later and asked him to at least write a treatment. “I really didn’t want to do it. I didn’t have time to do it,” King recalls, but the thing with Dino is that he’s almost telepathic. He knows when the ideas have started to sink in. I had suggested another writer for the treatment and, frankly, neither one of us liked what he had come up with.

“I had been kicking around some ideas, this idea about the comet and all the machinery going crazy, not just the trucks like in the original story. So, Dino called a week later and asked me one more time to do the screenplay. I immediately said yes, because by then, I had a very clear picture of the plot and found myself wanting to go ahead with the adaptation.” King’s ideas were so clear that he specified more than a thousand shots within the screenplay. De Laurentiis response was to ask him to direct. King decided that, yeah sure, he’d like to direct the picture himself. Admitting to being tired of being asked why the films of his books had for the most part, turned out to be so disappointing, King rationalized that with all these people ruining his material, he might as well as it go himself wanted to do it once because I thought I might be able to do a better job than some of the people who have done.” King stated. He was sure he couldn’t do any worse. Or course, with total control comes total responsibility as well.

So King signed up-another first-time director Dino took a fly on. The writer was to have the rare luxury of learning how to dire by helming his own $10 million picture. Talk about on the job training. The results? Well, it was in focus.

PRODUCTION Filming began July 14 at locations near the De Laurentiis facility in Wilmington, North Carolina. One of the first major FX shots involved a massive collision of cars when a drawbridge lifts on its own. A small scale model was built near an existing bridge and, by angling the camera over the foreground model, an illusion of perspective made the miniature appear in the same location as the existing bridge, complete with tiny wrecks and itty-bitty mangled bodies. At a location 10 miles outside of town at the edge of a highway, the company constructed the Dixie Boy as a facsimile of a working truck stop. It was convincing enough that more than one trucker stopped in. Eventually, the producers were forced to place an announcement in the local papers advising residents that the Dixie Boy was a prop. Of the $10 million allotted for Maximum Overdrive, most was spent on location shooting, the Dixie Boy set, and the hardware-big diesel semi-trailer tractors, vans, front loaders, a bus or two, and assorted other vehicles.

“I argued very hard to get $100,000 for a truck ‘hospital’ fund explains King. “The vehicles were taking such a beating. I never got it, though, and I think it hurt us a little bit in the end. I had to make some compromises there.”

King noted earlier, he blew up a lot of things. He celebrated his birthday on location and part of his present was an explosive surprise. All the crew members wore fangs at the celebration and one FX technician handed King a button near twilight and said, “Press this.” King did so and triggered a massive fireworks display rigged by the crew. The party was one of the few times that King was able to relax. Before principal photography wrapped on October 2, he got an intense “how-to” course in filmmaking.

The bridge destruction scene involved miniatures

“I had to make my share of compromises, but I think that if anything astonished me, it was how much more I could get then I thought I could. I got more from my actors than I thought I could, more from special effects, from film editing, from the camera department, everything. I guess I didn’t realize how good they were.”

The bridge destruction scene involved miniatures

King’s first day’s as director DeLaurentiis visited the North Carolina location and surveyed King’s progress for fifteen minutes before leaving. Later, after that day’s dailies, DeLaurentiis gave King some choice criticisms on the stiff movements of his actors. “At first. I was mad as hell.” King growled. “I’m saying to myself *This guy comes out here for fifteen minutes and he takes this look and he gets back into his air-conditioned Rolls Royce while I continue to soak my jockey shorts in this damn sun.’ But I went back and looked at the dailies and he was right. Those people were stiff and wooden and totally static. Dino came out there and saw it right away.”

But still, there is Dino to contend with. “God knows, the man has made some really awful pictures,” said King. “But’ know, I agreed to do MAXIMUM OVERDRIVE for Dino because win, lose, or draw-and the man can have some pretty outlandish ideas at times-he has never told me a lie. He said he doesn’t lie to people anymore because it isn’t profitable.”

It used to be a truck stop. Now it looks like a war zone. Everything except the Dixie Boy diner is in a state of ruin. A truck that once hauled toilet paper lies exploded in the grey dirt parking lot, the unburned rolls of tissue streaming in the night wind. Burned-out cars litter the area. The constant parade of huge tractor-trailers fills the air with dust as the big rigs circle the diner, waiting for the humans to come out. This truck stop sprung from Hell is the North Carolina set for MAXIMUM OVERDRIVE. But with all the signs of devastation and even with North Carolina State Troopers stationed along the highway on either side of the diner, passing travelers still pull in to the phony gas pumps, looking for a fill-up, a quick cup of coffee, a place to stretch their legs and relieve themselves. A grip hustles across the lot explaining that it’s only a movie, that there’s no gas in the pumps and no coffee or anything else-inside the Dixie Boy.

Some of the people driving in probably know that. They’ve probably heard that Stephen King is making a movie right down the road a piece and think it might be kind of neat to take the family for a closeup look at some genuine moviemaking. They see lots of lights and cables and fabricated destruction while popular author Stephen King holes-up inside the Dixie Boy diner, learning what it’s like to occupy the director’s chair.

After filming was completed King offered a different view. “Now that it’s all over I can say that I can direct actors, but I’m not very good with cars and trucks, Actually, I had a lot more trouble with machines. My thought going into it was that a machine is never going to tell you, “Fuck you, I can’t work today because I’ve got a hangover. ‘What a machine will do is break down on the hottest day of the year. We had old air-start trucks and when they wouldn’t start they had to be aired out and then aired up again with a compressor.

“We had incredible problems trying to get cordless electric knives. Apparently there are very few cordless ones on the market so special effects rigged up three to run on vibrator motors and Emilio hammered two of them to death on takes that were no good.”

Still, directing agrees with King. It’s late, nearly midnight, the crew is grumpy, the dust chokes everything, the night chill has set in, but the director is his usual amiable self, relaxed, joking, but serious about what he’s doing.

King takes it all in stride, openly commenting on his novice status as a director, often joking about the film school teachings to which he has never been exposed. “I was surprised by how little 1 actually knew,” said King. “When we started out I figured I’d sort of ease into this like into cold water. Well, we were shooting truck interiors, really second unit stuff, on Dino’s back lot. Trucks running themselves, gearshifts going up gas pedals going down. And I had this sequence for one of the trucks that went like this: the clutch goes in, the transmission lever goes up, the clutch goes out, the gas pedal goes down.

“We shot it with the driver’s side door open and everything was fine except the transmission lever. It stuck up so high could see the studio through the windshield. I said, ‘that’s okay, we’ll go around and shoot it from the other side. Well, everybody just looked at me the way you’d look at somebody who’s had a loud fart in a room and doesn’t know enough to excuse himself. And nobody said a word!

“When I came down here, everybody was in awe-enfant terrible, or whatever that is. Nobody wanted to say, ‘You screwed up. Finally someone took me aside and said, ‘You can’t do that.’ I said,

“Why?’ He said, ‘It’s across the axis.’ I said, “What?’ He said, ‘It’s the wrong side. He explained that it wouldn’t cut, you’d confuse the audience. We went into my office where there’s a model of the Dixie Boy and some lead figures and he lined everything up and showed it to me the way you’d show a kid. And it wasn’t until we accidentally shot across the axis a few weeks later that I fully understood.

“You learn all that stuff in film school.” King said, “but I’m learning as I go. “Later in the evening King pulls a pack of cigarettes from the rack behind the Dixie Boy’s cash register even as unit publicist Michael Klastorin cautions against disturbing anything for the sake of continuity. “Continuity?” King asks, “what’s that? Something they teach you in film school?

MAXIMUM OVERDRIVE, King, Stephen, 1986

Obviously joking, King has reached the point in the production where he feels confident about his work. Later he would say that were he to direct another film, “I would do a lot of things differently and probably better. I would spend less time in preparation and leave myself a lot more open to innovation.”

Being a first-time director, King spent considerable time preparing for the job. Storyboards were prepared as production aides, but by this night in October he has abandoned them and is relying more on impulse, allowing the film to shape itself in much the same way he allows his novels to develop their own plot details.

“I’ve never used a story outline. That’s not the way I work. We had a guy come in and do some storyboards and they helped because you have a situation where you have to introduce this restaurant and establish it for the audience pretty quickly. The storyboards helped with that. But you should be open to improvisation. I’ve learned that. You reach a point where you feel like you’re not being ridden anymore, you’re riding. That’s how I feel now. I feel like I’m sorta in charge of this thing. Then he laughs.

Surprisingly, King doesn’t see the writer as being the most important element of a movie, “Writing screenplays is work for idiots,” he said without hesitation. And he has no problem accepting the theory that the director is the author” of a film. “Ideally the writer and the director should be in bed together throughout the whole process. But the director is probably the actual author of the film. That’s one of the reasons why I’m here, to see if I can get at whatever it is about my work that makes it a Stephen King story.”

After seven weeks of filming at the Dixie Boy, King is more confident about film directing and his ability to maybe capture that intangible something that makes Stephen King “Stephen King.” He also acted as second unit director-picking up shots that didn’t require the featured actors’ presence. Many of the secondary shots involved the apparently driverless trucks and it soon became a matter of logistics. A difficult staging problem was disguising Glenn Randall’s stunt drivers. One solution was to drape the cabs in black felt and suit up the drivers in Ninja-like costumes to hide them. Special compartments were built in some trucks and one driver was disguised as a seat cushion.

The trucks rev up, ready to chase each other head-to-tail around and around the Dixie Boy for more takes, and somehow I find myself outside, right in the middle of the noise and the dust. I try to get back inside the diner, but filming has begun and Emilio Estevez, is seriously involved in the scene. A crew member charges out the door and announces, “Emilio’s on the edge again.” I’m told I’ll have to stay outside for a while, so I watch the trucks.

They’re the huge rumbling rigs that dwarf your car on the highways and interstates, seemingly oblivious to anything in their path. It’s easy to understand why King, like Richard Matheson before him, is able to find the element of fear in these eighteen wheelers. There’s something disconcerting about these trucks and finally it becomes clear. There are no drivers. The steering wheels, barely visible, are turning themselves. When they grind to a stop, a door on one of the trucks opens and a man dressed all in black drops to the ground and leaves the truck. “It’s so simple,” says special effects technician David Sandlin, “there’s nothing to it.” He opens the door of the empty truck. “Take a look.” The truck’s sleeper cab behind the driver’s seat has been stripped and a seat for the driver has been mounted in place of the bedding. All we do is set everything back, “Sandlin explains. “Nothing’s changed. We just get pick-up points elsewhere. You weld a rod to the stick shift so the gears can be changed from here, cut the steering column and attach a chain for steering. It’s just like any other truck except that the controls are further back.

The drivers wear black clothes and sit behind a sheer black curtain that separates the sleeper from the front of the cab and the result is a truck that convincingly appears to drive itself.

Sandlin has been kept busy blowing up trucks. The toilet paper truck lying ruined in the parking lot was destroyed with mortar shells Sandlin rigged inside the trailer, angled outward in opposite directions.

The other night we blew up a beer truck. We cut out the top of the trailer, took off the doors and replaced them with dummies. We filled the trailer with fifty gallon drums of soapy water and rigged it with primer cord lifters, then fired a modified missile at the truck and it blows everything out, all over the place.”

The Dixie Boy diner has also received Sandlin’s attention. “It looks good, doesn’t it?” he asks, indicating the front of the building that was erected especially for OVERDRIVE. “Last night it was covered with bullet holes. We tore it up pretty good.”

To show the people trapped inside that they mean business, the trucks outside bring in an army truck armed with a high caliber machine gun that opens fire on the diner. “We set about 500 squibs made of a substance called Roma Plastolina and covered them up with duct tape. Out of the 500 only one didn’t go off. That’s a great ratio.

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“We also built a breakaway wall with a sub-floor for a scene where one of the trucks rams the diner. What happens is it breaks through the wall, then drops through the floor boards. But the biggest thing we’ll do is blow this whole thing up.” Sandlin is specifically a pyrotechnician, and he clearly delights in his work.

“We’ll load this place with gasoline, diesel fuel, primer cord, and thermex which is eighty percent dynamite. Now I know where the safe line is. It’s across the highway over there. I’ll show them right where to set up, because that’s where I’m going to be. Some people like to get in closer, but not me. I’ve got the line marked and I’ll be on the other side of it.”

The set was then duplicated in exact miniature by model maker Emilio Ruiz del Río. As the Dixie Boy also house Hendershot’s collection of stolen Army munitions, the film’s 9 minutes of extensive stunts, pyrotechnical work and gore effects culminated in the spectacular destruction of both life-size and miniature sets. The fiery destruction of the Dixie Boy was achieved blowing the full-scale set with thermite and incline mixture, and similarly torching the finely detailed miniature, Though far different in scale, the footage from these two sets cut together seamlessly.

SPECIAL EFFECTS “To be honest with you, Maximum Overdrive is not a makeup effects film,” admits the 28-year-old Gates, a relative movie newcomer. “Basically, I had to deliver the aftermath of what happens when the machines come to life and take out their hatred on the human race. We have several people who get run over by trucks, and other makeups as the machines-chainsaws, electric knives, etc.-go berserk.”

“I was left on my own pretty much,” he explains. “I would try and feel King out on an idea, how he would like to see it. During pre-production, he gave me a feeling of what he wanted, and I would go off and work on it. And, if I pushed for something bigger, he would reconsider it and sometimes go with my idea. He was wide open on almost everything.”

One thing that King certainly pushed for during Maximum Overdrive was more blood. He loved it! That was a concern all along, whether or not we had too much blood. Stephen took great delight in pouring blood on stuff. He even named me Doctor Dean.”

In the film’s original planning it was decided that truck attacks would be acted using actors and stuntmen, augmenting the effect in the editing process. By the time filming was underway plans were changed, and a decision was made to use dummies during the attack sequences, particularly in the case of J.C. Quinn, who plays Duncan, a mechanic at the truck stop.

It was a last minute decision, but fortunately I had already made a cast of J.C. hcad for appliances. Gates made the cast by covering Quinn’s head with dental impression cream backed with plaster bandages. When the cast sets it is removed and filled with microcrystaline wax to make a positive impression of the head. It is on the wax model that the proper facial expression is fashioned. A urethane rubber mold is made from the finished model and then any number of heads can be produced from the rubber mold.

“Originally we didn’t design it for blood and guts so we had to go back and do that. We had to hustle to get it done. It took about a week-and-a-half. We mounted the head on a foam dummy rigged with pipe to give it rigidity. There was some talk of articulating it so the arms would move and all that, but we dropped it. When the shot was done it ended up being shot from behind so all the work we did on the head won’t be seen. But there’s a really good blood bag loaded in that one.”

It was easier for Gates to toss a victim to a runaway steam roller: “On that one we just used a rag dummy loaded with blood bags. It was just for the effect of the blood spewing up.”

The most satisfying work Gates has done for MAXIMUM OVERDRIVE is his work on Christopher Murney who plays Camp Loman, an early victim of the truck attacks. “He gets knocked in a ditch and everybody thinks he’s dead, but he’s still alive. At one point he sits up and a flap of skin falls off to show the skull underneath. We put a plate, a two-piece makeup.just above his eyebrow. The skull was laid over because I needed a tube-fed bladder to pump blood through a hole in the skull.

“I coated the inside of the appliance with a product called ‘Ultraslime.’ When it’s pulled apart it makes strands of goo as an extra effect. Because of the Ultraslime we had to rig a monofilament line, black fishing line actually, in order to get the flap to peel off. It took a couple of takes to get all the moves worked out so the line isn’t seen. Chris delivered his lines to me as I pumped the bladder and he reacted to my expression as all this blood and goo gushes out and it all worked. I don’t think they’ll cut any of it because he has some pretty important lines there.”

Gates enjoys the challenge of big, striking makeup effects, trying to bring a new twist to something that had been done countless times before. But he also has respect for the more commonplace, day to-day duties of the makeup department. “More subtle effects are really more difficult to perfect, because you don’t necessarily want the audience to notice it as an effect. It’s just something that’s there, like the blisters on Emilio’s hands. That can be a great challenge.”

To please both sides, King filmed two different versions of a potentially gory sequence in which a kid riding a bicycle gets run over-and squished-by a driverless steamroller. This one scene, according to Gates, caused the biggest editing room dilemmas. Unlike those Road Runner cartoons, nobody jumps back up after a tar-smoother attack!

“We shot it two ways,” Gates elaborates, with blood and without blood. On the first take, we had a dummy’s head filled with loose chopped foam, so when it popped, what looked like mashed potatoes came out. It was bizarre. We filled the second dummy with lots of blood bags, and when crushed, the blood splashed all over.”

A more subtle shock moment in Maximum Overdrive begins as potential comic relief, but quickly turns tragic. A coach approaches an automatic soda machine that unexpectedly spits out the carbonated cans with rocket-like velocity. One hits him in the chest, then the crotch and stomach, and finally, the uncooperative machine beans him fatally in the head. King wanted Gates to devise a can indented forehead for the coach.

“Originally, I was going to put a sponge soaked in blood on the bottom of a rubber can,” Gates explains, “but then it would just be a bloody splat effect. Finally, I made a rubber bladder and sealed it on the coach’s head with mortician’s wax. Next, I drilled little holes in the bladder. The tube was hidden in his hair. Then, we hit him in the head with the rubber can and pumped blood under pressure through the holes. The blood seems to swell up on his head and gush out.”

Gates adds that the deadly can episode didn’t work the first time. “I had sealed the thing with plastic sealant and closed the holes. So, on the first take where we applied pressure, the blood started to swell up and the bladder got bigger and bigger, but no blood came out. It looked like a baseball expanding out of his head. Suddenly it popped and blood sprayed out like a fountain! King had the take printed so we could laugh it up during dailies.”

Another actor, Christopher Murney. doesn’t fare much better than the coach in Maximum Overdrive following a close encounter with a terror truck. Murney gets knocked through the air and lands in a muddy ditch, presumably dead. Later, the mud-covered fellow rises from his temporary grave, while a sizable portion of his noggin hangs limply, more cerebral FX work for Gates and his crew.

“We put a bladder on his forehead-similar to the one on the coach-that allowed blood to be pumped through a tube and into the bladder. On top of the bladder, we placed an appliance which looked like a large gaping wound with exposed skull and hole bashed into it. A second appliance-the same size of the wound opening-filled it in and resembled a flap of loose skin.

“A piece of black thread was attached to the appliance, so when the guy rears up. I pulled the string and the flap opened up and blood surged through the wound. Murney really enjoyed working with the makeup.” The rest of Gates’ Maximum Overdrive FX workload largely consisted of making up victims after their offscreen attacks: a torn neck from a chainsaw backfire, burned face stuff following video machine frying, a gas station attendant’s crushed-in skull courtesy of a disobedient tow truck, and for the result of a human versus lawnmower fight, Gates simply adlibbed and spread chicken livers and hamburger meat across the loser’s mug. But, his toughest challenge on Maximum Overdrive was ensuring that the dummies didn’t look like dummies when hit by King’s violent vehicles.

“Glenn Randall, our stunt coordinator, told me that any movement which can be put into a dummy makes the illusion work better,” Gates remembers. Most of the time you’re dealing with an actor who runs to the approaching car. then a shot of the coming car, and then you cut to the dummy being hit. Putting movement into the dummy makes it appear less of a static object. The trick is to choreograph the stunt closely with the actor and then set up the dummy to duplicate the motions. One dummy was rigged with a piece of monofilament wire which enabled us to move it back and forth.”

Despite the sometimes tedious FX and stunt set-ups, director King remained patient throughout, according to Gates. “King was always happy during Maximum Overdrive and did everything to make it work. He was really organized and knew each shot he wanted. There wasn’t any indecisiveness.”

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RELEASE/CONCLUSION When originally submitted to the ratings board, King’s MAXIMUM OVERDRIVE got an X-rating for its excessive violence-a verdict that initially angered king because it forced him to make some cuts. “You can’t go X-rated or unrated because you run into (advertising) problems,” he said. “There is, in fact, a huge machine in place that is, in effect, economic censorship.”

Fortunately, the X-rating was only based on three counts of extreme violence, so the cuts, King said, don’t hinder the film much. “We took out one of the scenes where a man sits up and grabs this kid and half of his face slides off (see above). I thought the makeup guy kinda got carried away there. And there was a steamroller scene and a head pop that just makes strong men weak. But that whole thing was an accident, anyway. We got ready to shoot the steamroller going over a dummy of one of the actors, which was really all we were going to do, when I got an idea. I went over to Dean (Gates, the makeup designer) and I said “Gimmie a baggie of blood.’ So he gets it and he says ‘Whatcha gonna do? Whatcha gonna do?’ like a kid–we were both like kids. Then I stuffed the baggie into the dummy’s jacket.

“All I thought would happen was that the steamroller would go over the dummy, pop the bag, then the blood would get on the roller and we could pan as it made this print of blood as it went on. But what you get instead-and it’s all real, none of it is simulated or laid in-you get this grisly pop sound and it looks like the kid’s head explodes and blood splashes everywhere.” King laughed maniacally, delighted with the vision of cascading blood. “I showed the scene to George Romero and he goes ‘Ohhhh and turned his head away! It was great! I said ‘Oh, I can’t believe it! I did it to George!

“But the ratings board made us take out the splash-I got most of it in. The scene shocked people because they had never seen anything like that before. They won’t see it now either. The problem with the ratings system is the curse of expectation; everybody who goes to the movies now knows exactly what they’re not going to see.”

King has gone on record as saying he meant to make a simple “moron movie, nothing more than fast-food entertainment for the drive-in crowd. As Maximum Overdrive was a crash course in the directorial process an undertaking rampant with technical emotional artistic and political quandaries. It is just as well for King that his sights weren’t aimed higher. It might have been better for De Laurentiis, however. Maximum Overdrive opened to hear unanimous critical pans and widespread audience apathy. The picture quickly disappeared from neighborhood screens to reappear in video stores 120 days later.

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King is as hard on himself as any critic when pinpointing why MAXIMUM OVERDRIVE wasn’t a success. “I didn’t do a very good job of directing it,” he said. “I didn’t have a lot of production support from the DeLaurentiis organization which, by that time, was beginning to get on extremely thin ice financially. We probably didn’t have enough time in post-production. I’ll tell you what MAXIMUM OVERDRIVE was for me. It was a crash course in film school. What some guys take six years to learn, I learned in about ten weeks. The result was a picture that was just terrible. But it had some things in it that make me think, ‘Well, I can go back and I can do it right the second time. Now I understand.”

King admitted to scenes he’d like to reshoot, and casting decisions he’d make differently, but he also harbored an admiration for some of his work behind the camera. “There are isolated moments in the film that I think are okay, that I really like to look at,” he said. “Here’s this little kid riding his bike down this deserted street. He’s looking, and whatever happened has already happened. He sees legs sticking out of bushes, he sees a dog with a radio-controlled car in his mouth, a lady who has been strangled by her own hairdryer. That particular sequence is alive for me the way a lot of the movies are just sort of static.”

King pegged some of the fault for his directorial misstep to his fondness for the films of Alfred Hitchcock. “To my mind, he’s still the person who did this field the best,” said King. “And I’m talking about suspense. Because I was new and I’d never done anything like this before, I read a book about Hitchcock, about the way he worked. I read that he had said at some point that actually making the movie was the dullest part of the experience. What he really liked to do was plan everything in advance. He said [shooting] was the dullest part, because once he started there were no surprises. That’s exactly what I wanted! I wanted no surprises whatsoever so I did it that way. I planned out, shot-for-shot, literally angle-for-angle, everything I wanted in the movie. What never crossed my mind until I began to see rough assemblies of the stuff, when it was really too late to back out, was that this was never the way that I work creatively. My idea is to just get in there and just bash away, take the materials that are available and put them together in a hurry and go on.”

SCORE/SOUNDTRACK

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King did get some unexpected allowances. The film has a mid-1980s hard rock soundtrack composed entirely by the group AC/DC, King’s favorite band. AC/DC’s album Who Made Who was released as the Maximum Overdrive soundtrack. It includes the best-selling singles “Who Made Who”, “You Shook Me All Night Long”, and “Hells Bells”.

CAST/CREW Directed Stephen King

Produced Martha Schumacher

Screenplay Stephen King

Based on “Trucks” by Stephen King

Emilio Estevez as Bill Robinson Pat Hingle as Bubba Hendershot Laura Harrington as Brett Graham Yeardley Smith as Connie John Short as Curtis Ellen McElduff as Wanda June Frankie Faison as Handy Leon Rippy as Brad Christopher Murney as Camp Loman C. Quinn as Duncan Keller Holter Graham as Deke Keller Barry Bell as Steve Gayton

CREDITS/REFERENCES/SOURCES/BIBLIOGRAPHY Cinefantastique v16n04 Cinefantastique v17n02 Fangoria#54 Fangoria#56 Fangoria#57 The Bloody Best of Fangoria#06 Twilight Zone v05n05 Stephen King Goes to Hollywood Novel by Jeff Conner

Maximum Overdrive (1986) Retrospective SUMMARY As the Earth crosses the tail of a comet, previously inanimate machines suddenly spring to life; an ATM insults a customer (King in a cameo) and a bascule bridge rises during heavy traffic, causing all vehicles upon the bridge to fall into the river or collide.

#80sFilms #80sHORROR #Stephen King #Vestron

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