#and the most offensive thing someone has done to you is reject a gift?

[litnerdwrites]

Why do the IC of Feyre expect Nesta to play house with them when they can't respect her boundary with Solstice? She told Feyre it wasn't 'their holiday', which already makes it clear that she's uninterested in adapting to fae traditions. It's not a personal insult, it's a boundary that makes complete sense.

Solstice is a religious holiday, where you thank the mother, or whatever. Given that The Mother seems to come in tandem with The Cauldron, not wanting to celebrate it after what they went through makes complete sense. Now that I think about it, Feyre spends ACOMAF being mad that Tamlin and Ianthe did this to her; Forced her into uncomfortable social situations with people she didn't want to be around.

To Nesta, it's Feyre's birthday but nothing more, in which case, Feyre could've invited Nesta to a brunch with her and Elain. Nesta literally invited them to eat with her, but Feyre said no. If they had a conversation, I'm sure that they would've found a place to eat together that suited all of the, even if it was just at Nesta's apartment, or a day when the town house was empty. Or maybe one of Rhysand's other six houses.

There were so many work arounds that would respect Nesta's boundaries, probably go farther to helping her heal, and been fun for all of them. A win win situation.

Besides, if you invited someone to your celebration of a religious holiday, and they said 'no' out of respect for their own culture, religion, traditions, or just because they didn't want to, wouldn't you just accept the answer and move on?

On top of all this, Cassian through a temper tantrum the moment Nesta rejected his gift. Dude, if you used all that intelligence you supposedly have as a General, you'd realise what the issue is.

[aajjks]

no one listen to alina. vote jorja & y/n cus i’m sure the anon might follow the poll like last time (no offense anon 😭)

but here’s my intake on this:

i myself genuinely think they’re better apart than together. when they’re together it’s cute ngl. i was rooting for them but then that happened. i def got a bone to pick with y/n bcs WHY DF DID YOU NOT STAND UP FOR YOUR MAN?!!! i would’ve fucked yerin up 👊🏾 and as for JK why the hell would you punch an innocent man on the clock 😭 could’ve just snatch y/n up and fuss her out that way. idk how they would’ve talked about it beforehand if the party was a SURPRISE but you could’ve done that ig? both were wrong and i really felt bad for JK specifically like that really hurt my feelings when he left crying. matter of fact, make JK fall in love with me. i’ll treat him right 😂😂😂 (don’t tell TC!JK y’all. don’t want him to catch me cheating)

Honestly, I agree with you 100% but here’s my take on this situation.

See now tpol jk is someone who loves really hard but when you break his heart, he expects an apology and whenever he broke her heart or hurt her feelings, he worked really hard to make up for it and she made him work hard for it [and rightfully so] but he’s just a type of man to expect the same effort back.

He regrets getting chae pregnant. We all know that even if he was under the influence, he still feels guilty about it. And yn had a really big heart, and she accepted him and his son like her own.

I think that yn is very familiar with his possessiveness and his insecurity when it comes to seeing her with other men and it made me kind of upset that she didn’t defend him in front of yerin who keeps on insulting him by the way, and is always talking shit about their relationship, and she really has no right to do that, so he got hurt by that as well because he’s always protecting yn, even from his father, he literally killed his father because he hurt yn, he broke up with chae because he still had feelings for yn and she hurt her.

Honestly, I think that jk was 30% wrong because he punched an innocent stripper, but yn was 70% wrong for not defending him, and… she should’ve.. I think rejected the strippers advances because he did the same thing, and he expects the same from her.

And if he did as you just suggest that he would’ve just snatched her away and confronted her about it. I think that would’ve been a mistake because all of you would think that he’s very toxic and very rough with her and I didn’t want him to do that to her but I wanted him to confront that guy instead

And another thing I would like to point out because most of you guys are missing that point, is that yerin shouldn’t have posted that video on her story, she deliberately posted it knowing that it would bother yns fiancé a lot, and she knows him very very well. It’s like she wanted him to react that way to kind of prove that he’s not the right man for her best friend to yn and jorja.

She knew how he would react, but she still posted that video, knowing that he would see it 100% and how can you not expect him to react the way he did? And the way yerin called yn Jaemins maid? Like that was a low blow from her and honestly jungkook gave yn the biggest gift a woman could ever have and that is being a mother of someone or being called a mother. We all know he would never use yn for his own baby.

Yerin knew the consequences and I think yn was set up. Plus I think that his reaction was hundred percent correct, why does yerin interfere so much in the relationship like I don’t get her. He hates it when someone interferes in his relationship.

Yn was wrong in two things, and that was that she didn’t defend him and.. she just let him walk away like that. I think he deserves an apology from her and that he deserves to be with her because he’s done so much to have her, and they both belong together in my opinion.

The thing about yn is that she always walks away from him, or lets him walk away from her and never does anything, but.. she just gives up on him :/

Both are very toxic to each other. Even though jk takes more points for being toxic but you get it don’t you?

The real villain here is yerin.

[therealvinelle]

Hi, love your metas and your fic. I think you mentioned somwhere that at the end of BD Aro was trying to prevent the fight. What were his motives? According to Edward, the Volturi are cowards, but I didn't get this feeling. Caius was begging for a battle, the guard vocally proclaimed willingness to die for the cause... hell, Jane had to be restrained from running to Bella and punching her in the throat. And I find it unlikely that their leader is less brave than them. Explain Aro's brain pls

Thank you so much! That’s really nice of you to say. And sorry for the late answer.

And explain Aro’s brain, whew. That is a very big question with a very long answer and this post will be a manifesto by the time I’m done. But you wanted Aro’s brain explained so manifesto it is.

So, before we go anywhere I have to make the distinction between Aro of the books and Aro of the movies. Those two are different people.

Starting with appearance, because casting does a lot for me and if a big deviation is made it better be like Ruth Wilson as Marisa Coulter, which is to say it better fit the character. Also, disclaimer, I think most of Twilight was miscast, and especially the Volturi. I’m forever dying at Caius looking like Lucius Malfoy. However, this is an Aro post, so we’re highlighting Aro.

Aro of the books is a twenty-something Greek with skin that has petrified and eyes covered in a milky sort of film, which totals to him looking perfect, as all vampires do, yet frail. When he walks it looks like he’s gliding. This is an otherworldly, ancient, inhuman being. He’s energetic and excitable, yes, but if anything that should add to how very other he is. Casting Michael Sheen is a clear signal that the movies were going in a completely different direction with Aro. Sheen is a great actor who played what he was given perfectly, but what he was given was a very different character.

In New Moon the book, Aro first rejects Edward request because this is Carlisle’s gifted son, and more, this is not what the Volturi do. They are not hitmen. It’s just a big no all around.

Bella enters, and the Aro she meets is a very polite and gracious man who’s delighted to see the human still alive, and pleased Carlisle’s son won’t be suicidal anymore. However, Edward fully intended to step into the sunlight in the middle of Volterra, specifically to provoke the Volturi, and he has broken the law with Bella. Further, Edward makes it clear that he fully intends to walk out of Volterra with his human still human, and that she’ll die of old age if he gets his way. Edward’s contempt of the law could not be more clear. However, Alice shows Aro that Bella’s fate is sealed, she turns or she dies. The law will be upheld. Aro is glad to hear it, and lets the Cullens all go home.

All in all, it’s a very tense occasion where Edward has put Aro in a difficult position, because he’s trying to force him to kill his best friend’s son, and Aro goes “YES THANK GOD” when Alice finally gives him an out.

New Moon of the movies was not this. Starting with the flashback (because I’m being thorough), Aro executes a lowly criminal himself.  I object to that, I think that’s a menial task and Aro doing it himself made the Volturi look less regal, not more. Cut to the present day, Aro rejects Edward’s request because he doesn’t want to waste his gift. We get the whole meeting with Bella, and Aro… well I don’t know why he does any of the things he does. This guy never mentions his friendship to Carlisle, tries to kill our plucky heroes three times in the space of one minute (one, gives Felix the order to kill Bella, stopped by Edward. Two, moves to decapitate Edward, stopped by Bella. Three, he’s about to eat Bella, stopped by Alice), and when he lets them go it feels terribly convenient.

This was a guy written to be the villain of the series, and it showed.

Cut to Breaking Dawn part I’s ending scene, and while I love the song choice for the scene, and fully agree that Aro considers misspelling Carlisle’s name to be a capital offense, the scene itself… we are presented with a villainous, power-hungry megalomaniac who’s just waiting to strike against the Cullens.

We then get Breaking Dawn part II, and I haven’t seen that movie in years but I remember the fight scene well enough. Aro kills Carlisle with the biggest grin on his face, and gives the go-ahead to his Volturi to kill the surviving Cullens and their witnesses.

Contrast that with canon, where Aro’s first words to Carlisle are «Nothing would make me happier than preserving your life today». Now, he’s making it very clear that this meeting will most likely end with Carlisle’s death, but he’s not happy about it. He’s certainly not going to kill him with a smile on his face and laughter in his heart.

The movies needed a hammy villain, and that’s what Michael Sheen played. It is not who Aro is, at all. And he’s not the only character this happened to, but again, this is an Aro post so I’m not going to start raging like Don Corleone about what they did to my boys.

So, with the movies firmly expelled from the post, let’s look at the Twilight series from Aro’s point of view.

Or, rather, we’ll have to start earlier because Aro’s decisions throughout the series are pretty clearly motivated by Carlisle. And that means considering, “why is Carlisle so important, anyway?”

Consider these things: one, Aro is gifted with the power of knowing every single thought a person has ever had. He knows your soul. Two, Aro is the leader of the supernatural world, he has been for over a thousand years.

How many friends does a person with that power and in that position have?

Three, who does Aro even come into contact with?

Starting with number three, for Aro it’s going to be 1) criminals, 2) Volturi guard hopefuls, 3) Weirdos like Laurent who are wasting Aro’s time.

(“But what about the guard!” Well, while we observe close interpersonal relationships between Aro and Jane, and Aro and Renata, and one can assume Corin to be close to the wives, the distinction between Volturi coven and Volturi guard remains. The guards are servants, in some cases beloved servants, but servants nonetheless. It would be inappropriate and weird for Aro to start slumming it with Demetri and Felix)

So, Aro doesn’t get out much, which brings us to point two. The people he does meet, and who are willing to entertain a friendship with the Volturi leader, are going to be people who want something. And that might work for some rulers, Louis XIV built Versailles specifically to make his subjects do this for him, but he had something to gain politically from that. Aro does not, his power is supreme without a need to tolerate brown nosers. More, with his own and Marcus’ gifts, he’ll know right away that he’s being used for power. He would get nothing out of it.

Finally point one, Aro’s gift. Say that we have a vampire who’s not a weirdo and who thinks Aro’s a cool dude. Well, the question now is, who would ever want a person in their life who knows all there is to know about them? I wouldn't want anybody to know every thought I've ever had, I certainly would never seek out a person to know me that deeply when I could just go find normal people to be friends with instead. Not to mention how incredibly unequal such a friendship would be.

In short, I don’t think Aro has any friends.

Enter Carlisle a very amiable person who cherishes Aro for his personality, and doesn’t mind having his mind read. Aro just found a unicorn. Carlisle on his end likes Aro so much that he lives with him for decades. Even if you want to read their relationship as platonic, that’s still a very strong friendship.

Point being that Carlisle is unbelievably precious to Aro, and so very unique. Aro has lived for over three millennia, and never met anyone like this before. There won’t be another Carlisle.

This in turn makes him willing to stretch as far as he can to preserve that friendship and, as the plot thickens, keep Carlisle alive.

Fast forwards to 2006, and Aro is sitting in Volterra minding his own business when Carlisle’s son walks into town demanding his own execution. He has not committed any crimes. Not only is assisted suicide not something the Volturi even do, but this would ruin Aro’s friendship with Carlisle. Even if Carlisle was miraculously understanding of Aro killing his son (which I can’t imagine he would be), this would never leave the air between them. Carlisle could never be around him again after something like that.

So, Aro turns down Edward’s request. “Stupid Volturi man ruining my dramatic suicide, I’ll show him who’s boss!” Edward replies, and runs shirtless into the sunlight. I’m sure Aro was just dying, you had “The Sound of Silence” playing as he stared into nothingness because how is this happening to him. A whiplash of an hour later, Bella is alive again, Aro is happy, we can be done with this now, right? Right?!

No, Edward says, we cannot be done with this. He’s still refusing to turn Bella.

And so we get that whole New Moon exchange where Aro very tellingly shoves the part where Edward WALKED INTO THE SUNLIGHT IN VOLTERRA under the carpet and out of the conversation (for comparison: Irina is executed for false testimony and Bree for breaking a law she didn’t know existed), and he even allows Bella to leave human when he could easily have bitten her himself to keep the Cullens honest. This guy went out of his way to be lenient and show the Cullens good faith.

And then a few months later Irina walks into Volterra, bearing memories of what is unmistakably a Cullen immortal child.

Aro may care for Carlisle, but this is the guy who killed his baby sister so he’d still have Marcus’ gift. He will bend far, very far, for those he cares about, but he will not break. It’s duty above love, Volturi above Aro’s personal preferences. An immortal child is not an offense that can be tolerated, and so it’ll be Didyme 2: Aro Kills Someone He Loves Boogaloo.

By now I think it should be quite clear why I think Aro was trying to prevent the fight. Battle would have meant Carlisle’s certain death.

(And that’s even assuming the Volturi won the fight. With Bella there, there was a chance the Volturi wouldn’t prevail. But even before Bella started showing off, Aro was very much hoping this wouldn’t be another Didyme situation.)

[delicioussshame]

[cries in fandom] I was supposed to work tonight and instead I wrote more of yesterday’s fic because I had the idea and couldn’t stop thinking about it. 

Shen Qingqiu isn’t an empty nester. He has plenty of disciples still running around the peak, eager to learn and keeping him very busy.

It’s just that the generation that was already there when he arrived, Ning Yingying, Ming Fan and the others, are now fully grown cultivators, spending most of their time roaming the world on their own quests.

They bring him pride each time they visit, usually gifting him with obscure artefacts and rare volumes he spends days pouring over. It doesn’t quite make up for their absence, but it helps.

Still, he would have preferred Ning Yingying gift him something else the last time she visited.

He, of course, knew she would eventually cross paths with Luo Binghe. She was bound to. After much pondering, he had decided not to interfere. Her occasional visits to Luo Binghe weren’t enough to hurt her cultivation, and anyway Luo Binghe was usually careful not to let Xin Mo gorge enough to leave traces, especially on trained cultivators. She’d be fine.

Plus, when Luo Binghe would tire of hiding in plain sight and reveal his status as leader of the Demon Realm, his fondness for her would protect her from the consequences Shen Qingqiu himself might face.

He would probably be fine though. He’d just have to take a less adversarial take than his predecessor, who had fought to the death to “protect his disciple from the beast”.

Or he’d thought he would, until Ning Yingying, with a blinding smile that radiated unblemished innocence, had told her she’d booked him a session with her A-Luo, because, to hear her say it, he needed it.

He had been tempted to expel her on sight. Don’t thrown Shen Qingqiu into the maws of the beast! He doesn’t have your youthful beauty or girlish charms!

He hadn’t. Ning Yingying is just too caring. She hadn’t realised that just because she very much enjoyed Luo Binghe, Shen Qingqiu might not feel the same. Wrong tree. Because if he were attracted to men, which he was not, what a ridiculous notion, he would have made a move himself. Luo Binghe is soft on his favorite clients. He’d have nothing to lose by endearing himself to him.

Too bad he’s not interested. He had to refuse him.

He’d thought he knew what to expect when he’d gone to reject the offer as politely as he could. It wouldn’t do to offend him.

Sadly, all the foreknowledge of the world hadn’t been quite enough to shield himself from his unnatural charisma. He’d made a fool of himself, practically running out to escape the protagonist’s aura. Luo Binghe, how terrifying! His poor disciple had stood no chance!

Anyway, he can admit he is occasionally lonely. He misses his dear Yingying and his first disciple, whom, for all his flaws, Shen Qingqiu had grown fond of. It wasn’t impossible for Ning Yingying to have noticed, and to have tried to offer him company. Totally misguided, but understandable.

When he hears a commotion outside, he instantly goes to check it out. Maybe it will break his monotony.

He immediately regrets it. Why, why on earth are Luo Binghe and Liu Qingge fighting with enough strength that they could easily kill his terrorised disciples here on his peak! It’s way too early for Luo Binghe to have come out of the demonic closet! And why is he even here!

Shen Qingqiu turns towards his closest disciple. “What is happening here.”

The poor girl jumps at his tone. “Shizun! I’m sorry, I’m not sure, we heard rumours that Luo Binghe was at the sect, so we were curious, but Liu-shishu showed up and it devolved into a fight. I don’t know why.”

Huh. So Liu Qingge made the first move? Quite possible. He might have wanted to protect his sister’s honor.

That should be manageable. He raises his voice. “Fighting on my peak isn’t allowed. Stop at this instant.”

To his surprise, both swords freeze.

Shen Qingqiu despairs for this world’s mob characters. How come no one wonders why a courtesan can keep up with Liu Qingge? Why can’t they notice how Xin Mo oozes with malevolence? Can they only see Luo Binghe’s fabulously handsome face and physique?

He wouldn’t be surprised.

“Shen Qingqiu! How dare you!”

Shen Qingqiu blinks. “How dare I what, Liu-shidi? I’m not the one who picked a fight on someone else’s peak.”

He points to Luo Binghe. “Him!”

Beside his general existence, there’s nothing especially offensive about Luo Binghe? “What about him?”

“I thought you’d outgrown such nonsense, but he shows up here!”

Shen Qingqiu has no idea what is happening. “I’m sorry if his presence offends you, but I assure you I have nothing to do with it.”

“I’m afraid that’s a lie,” says Luo Binghe as Liu Qingge seems close to death via outrage.

Shen Qingqiu turns toward Luo Binghe. “How could it be?”

In answer, Luo Binghe brandishes… the fan he’d completely forgotten when he’d visited, shit! Did he come here, on his peak, holding this incriminating evidence as a badge of honor!?

Shen Qingqiu feels himself blanch. How can he clear himself of these allegations? Liu Qingge thinks he’s trying to steal his sister’s man! Once the War God of Bai Zhen is done with Luo Binghe, Shen Qingqiu’s head is next!

Luo Binghe continues like he didn’t notice Shen Qingqiu’s obvious discomfort, which he must have. “You left this behind the other day, and so I have come to return it. Let it not be said I am not a perfect gentleman.”

Oh no. He can hear consternation from some of his pupils, and definitely less consternated exclamations from others.

Liu Qingge has now plunged on Luo Binghe again, who dodges with too much ease. How can no one notice something is wrong!

Maybe the renewed fight will distract everyone while Shen Qingqiu discretely dig himself a hole deep enough to never have to come out.

Oh well, there’s nothing he can tell but the truth. No one will believe it, but since no one ever believed Shen Qingqiu, how will it be any different? “Please stop this fight at once. Luo Binghe, I thank you for bringing my fan back to me despite my rude refusal of your services. It wasn’t your fault my student misconstrued my interests. Again, I am sorry for your wasted time. Liu-shidi, I understand your sister’s paramour might not be your favorite individual, but please don’t assault the sect’s guests. Think of our reputation. What will people say?”

Liu Qingge stares at him with… stupefaction? “You’re not his?”

Yeah, he’s nipping that train of thought in the bud. The last thing he needs is his disciples thinking he’s some pretty thing’s toy. They would never respect him again. “No. He’s not my type. No offense intended.”

Liu Qingge remains still for a moment, before he plucks the fan from Luo Binghe’s hand and shoves it toward Shen Qingqiu. “Keep track of your fans! There are two in my home!”

Ladies and gentlemen, Shen Qingqiu, a man being berated in public about his chronic tendency to forget things like an unruly child. “Why should I care when Shidi is always so eager to bring them back to me?”

Liu Qingge flushes in anger.

Shen Qingqiu gives himself a point.

_______________

Things were light-hearted before.

Now, Luo Binghe is serious.

Not only did Shen Qingqiu refuse his advance, but he implied Luo Binghe himself wasn’t good enough for him, in front of his whole peak, before ignoring him in favor of flirting with another man, right in his face?

Never has he suffered such humiliation.

He had intended to be kind. To soothe and seduce the man gently until following Luo Binghe to bed would seem like the only logical option.

He bets Shen Qingqiu would have paid him for the privilege, and paid him well, regardless of his disciple’s previous arrangements.

Now, those options are off the table. When Luo Binghe is done with him, pleasure will have robbed Shen Qingqiu of the last of his voice, and yet he’ll still be trying to beg him for more.

He’ll be ruined to anyone that’s not Luo Binghe; unable to live without his touch.

Anything less would be an unsurmountable affront.

Shen Qingqiu better prepares himself. The fight might have been lost, but Luo Binghe will be the one to win the war.

[itsclydebitches]

Hey Clyde, did you check out Wonder Egg Priority at all? The first ep is super promising, but the series as a whole is one of those real fascinating disasters from a story and a production standpoint that might be up your alley as a thing to pick apart haha.

I’d warn that it’s also reeeeal offensive and this generally gets worse as it goes though.

Hi, Phoenix! How are you and Cube doing?

Okay, I hadn't watched Wonder Egg Priority when I received your ask this morning. Now I have. In a fit of intense curiosity I settled down for a rare binge session and tore through all twelve episodes + OVA in a single sitting. It is now nearly 3:00am as I write this because I, oh so clearly, make fantastic life choices.

A question for you: what did I just watch?

The rest is going under a read more partly for spoilers, but more-so because WEP—and the summary I'm about to give, because I feel like I need to try and explain this to tumblr's faceless void for my own, dwindling sanity—comes with about every trigger warning under the sun. Seriously, if you are triggered by anything that we might think of as a "standard" trigger (meaning, not unique to you and your own experiences), best to proceed with caution.

Right! What the ever loving fuck happened in this show? Well, let's work through this chronologically. Two genius, frat boy brothers (I get their names mixed up so I'm not even gonna bother) are locked in their apartment and closely monitored because of Super Secret Science Research. Even though, I think, they're the ones who created this company. Not important! What is important is that they're bored enough to create an AI for funsies, thinking of her as their daughter and letting her name herself Frill. Frill is the perfect, cutesy, also genius child who has a habit of popping her lips — which the camera focuses on in an incredibly creepy fashion. One day Brother #1 (the hot one) falls in love with a random woman we know nothing about and Frill gets jealous.

"Jealous in a general sense?" you ask, thinking this show is in any way normal. "Like, just of her Dad giving attention to someone else?"

"No," I respond, patting your hand. "Jealous because she's in love with him." Which, beyond the subject matter itself, comes completely out of nowhere. Frill has a line about what you'd do if some woman stole your husband away. I, fool that I was, briefly considered that these two guys were lovers, not brothers. Oh no. They're brothers. Frill just considers Dad #1 to be her "husband."

So, in true evil AI fashion, she murders the wife, leaving only her newly born child behind. Who is a daughter.

Uh oh.

Dad #1 locks Frill in a coffin-esque hole in the basement and goes on with his life. Things are great! Until years later when the daughter reveals that she has fallen in love with her uncle (Dad #2 to Frill). She knows (somehow??) that both her dad and her uncle loved her mom, so if the loser uncle will just wait a few years he can marry her instead! He brushes her off, but the next day she’s found dead of an apparent suicide.

Realizing that this was somehow Frill’s doing, he marches down to the basement and confronts the murderous child they’ve had locked up for years. She’s now surrounded by screens in, again, true creep AI fashion. How did she get all this while she was locked up? Oh, just the three bug girls she created as friends prior to killing the wife. They’re devoted slaves, I guess. So the uncle says enough of this insanity and seemingly sets Frill on fire.

OH and Frill’s subtitled dialogue also puts “uncle” in quotation marks, implying that the daughter was always Dad #2’s??

Anyway, both brothers are now super obsessed with death and claim that they think Frill has had a hand in lots of girls’ suicides, even now after her own death. This is brought into question later when it’s revealed that they might have just concocted this scheme to try and bring back their daughter. I’m really not sure. Regardless, they use hand-wavey science to create eggs that I guess contain the souls of young girls who have committed suicide, then they sucker in other young girls who have lost people to suicide to try and rescue their loved ones in a dream world, saving others along the way. A tomboyish girl, Momoe, lost a classmate who admitted to loving her, but who Momoe rejected. Rika, a former junior idol, used and rejected an overweight fan only to learn later that she’d starved herself to death. Neiru, the 14yo president of some science company (yup) was attacked by her sister before she jumped off a bridge. Finally Ai, our protagonist, is a victim of bullying who managed to make friends with a single girl, Koito, who then jumped from their school building for unknown reasons. They’re all given the chance to bring these individuals back to life, provided they protect other victims of suicide by defeating the monstrous traumas that drove them to that act in the first place.

And you know what? That concept was great. However, the execution ranges from “Okay, that was pretty good for an anime. Kudos there” to “That’s the most offensive thing I’ve seen in my life.” Needless to say, unpacking all the battles they fight would take a lot more than this already absurd summary. Basically, if you can think of something horrible to happen to young girls (and one trans guy whose existence in that egg undermines the whole message of the episode), there’s an attempt to tackle it here.

During all this the four girls become friends and Ai works through her suspicions about Mr. Sawaki, a teacher at her school. What’s going on with Mr. Sawaki? Uh… everything! He’s somehow connected to Koito’s death, he’s dating Ai’s mom, and Ai apparently loves him too because her friends say so, even though this is never actually addressed and she barely interacts with him. It’s all quite the complication.

In time though the girls complete their “mission” of bringing their loved ones back to life. Rika and Momoe manage it first, only to find that Frill’s bug-girl lackeys have arrived to kill them. Why? Because that’s what Frill does, I guess. Momoe’s crocodile familiar (cute animals the girls were gifted to help them fight) takes a killing blow for her and the bug-lady then proceeds to carve up his corpse and force feed it to Momoe. Fantastic!! Building off of that, the next bug-lady who Rika encounters kills her turtle too, following in the footsteps of her bug-sister by, presumably, forcing her to eat parts of its head. Ai refuses to sacrifice her familiar to stay alive, but luckily the suicide she was protecting turns out to be herself from a parallel universe (that's a thing now!) and she takes the killing blow herself, which is done by pulling out the eye she’s sensitive about (she has heterochromia.) So parallel Ai passes on (again?) and the three girls don’t work through this trauma at all, instead becoming more traumatized through the realization that the loved ones they brought back no longer remember them. They’re alive, but the relationship they all had with them is dead.

It’s about this point that the main storyline wraps up and I’m relieved that there’s an OVA to finish things off. Surely they can somehow bring this all together in 45 minutes.

…25 minutes of that OVA is recap.

So with only about 20 minutes left, we learn that Neiru, the only one to not complete her mission yet, has mysteriously gone missing. It turns out she was an AI/clone/something all along, made to replace her sister and, presumably, that’s what caused the whole stabbing-suicide incident. She successfully brings her sister back, but stays behind in the dream world because Frill promises her she can become human. How is Frill here when she’s dead? How will Neiru become human? Isn’t Frill the “temptation of death” or whatever? There are no answers. A flashback finally reveals that Koito was having a relationship with a teacher at another school, he committed suicide, she transferred, she tried the same thing with Mr. Sawaki, he kept refusing her advances, and finally while threatening suicide to get his attention, she accidentally fell.

(So why was she in the suicide egg if it was an accident??)

Except, all this information comes through Mr. Sawaki himself, there’s a whole subplot about whether he’s really a villain, or if Ai is just making him into one, and this show might as well be titled How Much Pedophilia Can We Put into One Anime? So make of that what you will.

A dead character randomly shows up, but it's fine because she's actually just a version from a parallel world. How did she get here? Why is she here? Lol, it's cute that you think these are answered.

Rika, the character who cuts and almost committed suicide halfway through the show, breaks down saying how much she misses her dead loved ones, right after her friends refused to let her go on another mission that would surely end in her death and… that’s it. That’s all we get about her.

Momoe too, though she’s hopefully just vibing somewhere with that longed-for boyfriend.

Ai transfers schools and then one day randomly remembers that she loves Neiru and rushes back to start cracking eggs again because that will? Somehow?? Let her see Neiru???

When I say there are too many unanswered questions to possibly list here I really, really mean it.

Finally, in a personal attack on me, the protagonist with a name that is literally AI is not in any way an artificial intelligence.

And that’s it! Congratulations, you now “understand” WEP. And see, the funny thing is that the off-the-rails, bat-shit crazy aspects kind of catch you off guard? Yeah, the first episode is fantastic. In fact, I think I got through about six episodes thinking that this was a solid, if at times really messed up anime, but I was willing to shrug off a lot of stuff due solely to the amount of sensitive material they were attempting to cover (which is always quite difficult to do). Probably the only reason I was able to binge so fast was because the first half of the series was so engaging. The characters are charming. The animation is GORGEOUS. There's actually a ton of good here that is also worth yelling about. But then the plot comes in like a freight train and I was left staring dumbfounded at my screen as more and more insanity kept happening. Having watched the "explanations" I am now more confused about the show I just saw.

Phoenix, if you’ve bothered to read this rambling, 3:00am rant: thank you. I think? Idk if I should actually be thanking you or cursing you for tuning me into this, but it was definitely an experience, that’s for sure lol.

I'm off to bed now RIP the chance of having normal dreams ✌️

[agentofscifi]

Success is the Best Kind of Revenge: Ch 2

The whole classroom is sitting there in shock as Marinette, Chloe, Alix, and Juleka leave the room. Juleka’s mom follows them out, giving a smile to the Superintendent.  

Alya was still pale after being told she was now the Class Representative. She’d seen the piles of paperwork Marinette had to complete. None of it was quick or easy.  

The silence in the rooms holds until the door shuts behind them and then the yelling starts.  

“How could she have lied so well!” Rose is crying once more, thick tear trails soaking the tissue Marinette had given her earlier. Rose’s mother pulls her in for a small hug.  

“We collected money for her!” Myléne’s eyes are wide. “We collected money for her charities!”  

Kim raises an eyebrow. “How’s that a bad thing?”  

“Because it’s charity fraud.” Ivan’s voice is heard throughout the room, despite the fact that he wasn’t yelling. “We collected money for a charity that doesn’t exist. It’s illegal.”  

“We,” Myléne cuts off with a sniff. “We could have gone to jail. We almost went to jail over break.”  

Kim looks away with a grimace. “I went through something similar. Lila gave me this stuff, she said it would help with my swimming. She told me her olympic friend recommended it. You know, like organic stuff. Turns out it was steroids. They found out at my last surprise drug test before winter break. All my Universities pulled out and I got kicked off the swim team this morning.”  

Kim’s Mom blinks and then she lets her face fall into her hands. “You took pills from a classmate, without asking what was in them!”  

His father groans. “Well, this explains how you got those pills. Why didn’t you just tell us this?”  

Kim flushes. “I thought Lila was lied to, you know. I didn’t think she’d do this on purpose.”  

His mother lets out a sob. “All your scholarships! All your Universities!”   

On the opposite side of the room a different argument was taking place. Nino’s mother is glaring down at him, disappointment in her eyes. “When you said you weren’t talking to Marinette as much, I assumed it was because you grew apart. I did not think it was because you ignored all common sense to trust an exchange student over someone you’ve known since école maternelle.”  

Nino’s face is red. “I-I just her stories were so great and our class has done some amazing things. I didn’t think it was so far-fetched.”  

His mother purses her lips. “You didn’t think it was so far-fetched that Marinette was a bully. Marinette, who brought in cookies and cupcakes for every birthday. Marinette, who made you a custom jacket when you lost your favorite one on a vacation. Marinette, who brought you soup and get-well gifts every time you stayed home sick. This is who you thought was a bully.”  

Nino opens and closes his mouth a few times before finally closing it and looking down at the table. His mother throws her arms up in the air. “You stood there and watched, or even recorded, as your classmates physically assaulted Marinette. You are lucky, so very lucky, that she didn’t press charges. You were 18 for some of the worst offenses.”  

“I lost all of my University acceptances, Mom.” Nino hesitantly looks up at her.   

Mrs. Lahiffe whips her head down. “Nino! You could have lost a few years of your life, thousands of euros, and the ability to go to college. You have no criminal record, but you could have started one with the stunts you have pulled. You are lucky the police were willing to just give you service hours. This won’t even appear in your permanent record.” Nino nods mutely.  

Nathaniel is having a similar, but less heated argument with his parents, too. “My comics! They’re all missing online and the company that I signed a contract with has pulled the contact. There’s a pending copyright suit!”  

“Nathaniel!” His father sighs and places a hand on his shoulder. “We’ve talked to the people issuing the suits and explained the situation. They agreed to not press charges if you were dropped from the company and all of the art work is pulled off the internet.”  

Nathaniel stares at his father. “What! They can’t do that!”  

“Yes, Nathaniel, they can.” His mother is on the other side of him. “You copied someone else's work and didn’t credit them. You tried to sell that work and make money. That’s illegal. ”  

“Lila said she helped! That I could do this and it was ok.”  

Nathaniel’s father sighs. “Even if Lila had been involved, you still should have credited the other person. It still would have been illegal”

Nathaniel’s head drops onto the desk. “My life is ruined.”  

His mother places her hand on his shoulder. “A year off to...reimagine your art will do you some good.” Nathaniel only moans.  

Across from Nathaniel is Rose and her father. There was no lecture or comments from her father as Rose was too busy sobbing into his shirt. Prince Ali’s abrupt and simple ending of their relationship made more sense now, as did the comments by the music schools. Rose had changed so much of herself to help Lila or because Lila gave her some advice. Rose honestly didn’t know what to do now that it was all a lie.  

Sabrina, up in the front row, was hunched over herself. Her father had given her a none stop lecture about responsibility, trust, and legality that she hadn’t said a word. “You’re grounded for the next year!” Officer Raincomprix is red in the face. “We’ll talk about University after the next New Years, but for the next year you will be staying with me.” Sabrina nods.  

Her father deflates slightly. “Sabrina, you have no idea how lucky you are. 100 hours of community service will feel like nothing in the long run.” Sabrina just nods, curling in on herself.  

Back up by Max it was quieter. Max’s Mother was mumbling into her hand, asking how her brilliant son could be so stupid. Max’s was looking at his hands sheepishly. He’d attempted to disprove all of stuff about Lila by finally looking her up only to find nothing good. The Ladyblog came up first, filled with all of Lila’s lies. There were several news articles and twitter posts after that from Celebrities calling her out for lying or casually asking who this Italian Rossi girl was when it was brought up in interviews.  

Max then looked to Markov to ask why he said that Lila wasn’t lying only to find out that his robot marked most of Lila’s stores as inconclusive. It was all very vague and “he said, she said” situations. He couldn’t form a true conclusion without the other people in the stories being asked. This screwed the results in Lila’s favor. Max hadn’t looked up since Markov made that announcement to the class.  

However, the loudest and biggest argument was happening between Alya and her Mother, who were practically in a screaming match. “Alya! Stop blaming everyone else for your mistakes!” Marlena Césaire's coat was askew and her face red with narrowing eyes.  

“But Lila lied! I didn’t do anything! Why am I being rejected from my Universities? Why do I have to get rid of the Ladyblog!”  

“You attacked Marinette! You physically harmed her on the word of another student. Instead of getting a teacher or the police, or talking to us, you attacked her. Marinette got a concussion and stitches after the last assault when you pushed her down the stairs. As for the Ladyblog, you posted so many lies. It’s practically a shrine to that girl Alya.”  

“But Lila told us Marinette pushed her!” Alya’s phone is in her hand, clenched in a tight hand. “And, Lila told me all those stories!”  

“And yet, Lila had no injuries. And yet, Lila didn’t go to the proper authorities. Instead, you suggested getting even with Marinette. You started this!”  

“But Lila lied!” Alya sounded like a broken record, always repeating the same things. “Lila’s a psychopath or something!”  

“And you're the sheep who followed that psychopath Alya. You didn't look into any of this. You took her words as facts. You lectured Marinette about facts and yet you looked for nothing! Even now, you seem to think about no one but yourself. You’re screaming about how Lila lied and how that’s affected you. Have you once thought about what this must have been like for Marinette? You reject her for a new, shiny thing. You bully, verbally insulted, physically harmed, and stole from that girl. If it had been me, I’d have used the full force of the law against you. You’d have gotten more than a cease and desist order, a restraining order, and order from the blog’s removal.”  

“But Mom!”  

“Alya!” Otis Césaire stands from up. “You made mistakes, now you have to pay the consequences. You’ve been telling us for years that you’re an adult. Now act like it!”  

Mrs. Vaux chooses this point in time to clear her throat. “Mr. Agreste?” Adrien looks up from his seat. He’d been silent and pale as everyone took in the truth about Lila. “Your Aunt is here for you.” Amelie Graham de Vanily was standing in the doorway, a severe look on her face.  

Nino looks up at him. “Dude, what about your Dad?”  

Adrien gulps and looks down. “My Dad was hawkmoth. Ladybug caught him over the weekend.”  

The whole class, and their parent’s, take in a deep breath. Alya turns her eyes over to him. “You worked with Hawkmoth!”  

Marlena Césaire grabs her daughter and drags her down onto the bench. “Alya!”  

One of the police officers clears his throat. “We have questioned Mr. Agreste and found him innocent. Ladybug spoke on his behalf after Hawkmoth’s identity was revealed.”  

Adrien shrugs. “I’m moving in with my Aunt and cousin in London. I’ll be finishing Lycée online. I just… need to get away.”  

Nino gives Adrien a small smile. “Keep in touch.”  

Adrien returns it nervously as he packs up his stuff. As he walks up to his aunt he turns to give the class an apologetic look. “I’m sorry, about Lila. I didn’t think she’d taken things this far.”  

Nino blinks slowly as the rest of the class starts to process those words. “Wait? Dude, did you know that Lila was lying?”  

Adrien nods. “I thought she just wanted friends at first and didn’t know how to make real ones. Marinette called her out and she got akumatized. I didn’t want that to happen again!”  

“So, you let her lie to us?” Nino leans back on the bench, putting a few more inches between the two of them.  

“I thought she was like a tabloid. You have to ignore the lies for them to go away.”  

Alya lets out a blood thirsty scream. “This is all your fault! If you had just told us-”  

“Alya Césaire!” Her mother grabs her once again and pulls her down.   

Most of the class is staring at Adrien in horror. Rose was just sobbing even harder. The parents had more of a pitying look as they gazed at the son of Hawkmoth. Being the child of a magical terrorist who doubled as an abusive father probably didn’t help a child learn right from wrong.  

Adrien looks down. “I’m sorry.” His aunt places a hand and guides her nephew out the door, giving the police and the superintendent each a nod.  

The door closes in the silent room before chatting starts up again. The students are all trying to talk to each other and their parents at once. No one was quite sure of what they were supposed to do with that information. Hawkmoth had been found, they’d gathered that from the police saying that Hawkmoth named Lila as an accomplice. However, Hawkmoth being Adrien’s Dad was another matter entirely. Then there was the whole fact that Adrien knew about Lila. He had stood there, for years, letting them be used. Their overly kind classmates had done nothing to stop Lila as she twisted all of them like puppets.  

Mrs. Vaux clears her throat again. “You all have the rest of the day off. It was mentioned to me that this must be stressful to you all and I agree. You won’t learn anything else today. Besides,” she turns around to glare at Miss. Bustier and Principle Damocles. “We have some staffing issues to handle.” Both of them shrink down at the gaze.   

Mrs. Vaux looks back at the kids. “You all have mandatory school therapy twice a week for the rest of the school year. With everything that has happened, I think it will be healthy for all of you. Miss. Lucilia,” one of the women behind her steps forward. “Will be your teacher for the rest of the year. Ms. Birch,” the second woman steps forward. “Will be the acting principal for the rest of the school year.” She gives the class more onceover. The students all looked overly confused and their parent’s looked exhausted. “You are all excused.”

Ch. 1 ~~~~~ Ch. 3

[wangxiandecoded]

Episode 5

Previous Episode | Next Episode

(Spoilers for the whole show ahead!)

Episode 5 is chock full of moments and fun romantic tropes that make it hard to believe this show passed the censorship. 

Wei Ying has already taken Lan Zhan as his soulmate of many lifetimes and started confiding secrets in him. He gets dragged away to copy all the rules he broke but it’s ok Wei Ying, Lan Zhan has to notice the undeniable chemistry you share at some point.  

The Yiling Patriarch Invented Gay Pining 

The sheer amount of pining in this scene.. How did he not burn a hole through the library?

Guy takes a break from admiring the beauty of his crush, starts admiring his calligraphy instead.

The Many Names Wei Ying Calls Him

Calling your beloved by his every name to get his attention. Success! He responds to the name with intimate connotations. But oh no! He actually looked at you! What do you do now? Head empty. Quick! Ask him why he’s ignoring you and subtly remind him that he has the right to express his anger by using your formal name for completely logical reasons. 

I understand Wei Ying's feelings, it must be maddening to meet the love of your life and want to skip to the domestic stages of romance, when he still considers you an unruly stranger who has no business with him.

Can we take a second to appreciate what a pure soul Wei Ying is for wanting to constantly do better and learn what he did for Lan Zhan to hate him so much? He apologizes not once but repeatedly for breaking the rules and assures Lan Zhan he would never attack him with the intention to harm. (Wei Ying sweetie, you did nothing wrong, he just isn't ready to admit you're melting his heart.) 

All he wants is your attention. Just spare him some him, Lan Zhan! I have no clue how someone can say no to Wei Ying when he’s being this cute. Lan Zhan’s self-restraint must really be something else.

This line and Wei Ying's gay ass smile is so damning. I do not know how some Chinese censor officials did not have conniptions over this.. were they too blinded by heteronormativity, perhaps? Even Lan Zhan has had enough and charms him into silence.

Looking At Him When He’s Not Looking

Looking at your bro when you think he isn't aware you're looking at him, but he's actually painting a portrait of you when you aren't looking at him. I’m done with these idiots.

Wei Ying's heartfelt apology is obvious to us but Lan Zhan's definition of sincerity is abiding by the rules, which Wei Ying gives into for him, with a lot of effort. If that’s not love, what is? 

More pining. Wei Ying makes one last attempt at wooing Lan Zhan for the day by giving him a parting gift. (For what exactly? Monitoring him while he carried out his punishment? Love is so irrational, y’all.)

The last touch he gives to Lan Zhan's portrait is adding a flower to his forehead ribbon. This is how Wei Ying really sees Lan Zhan - not as the intimidating Lan Wangji from Gusu Lan clan, but the guy he finds cute when he's lost in concentration. It pains me to see Wei Ying do so much to win his heart.

Lan Zhan Thinks Everything Wei Ying Does Is “Boring”

Wei Ying asks him to say something other than “boring” for a change and this is his reply. What makes their relationship so captivating is their contrasting personalities. Every time Lan Zhan thinks Wei Ying is being ridiculous and goes, “Boring,” I think he actually finds Wei Ying kind of amazing and that’s annoying because it is nothing but a hindrance to the way of life expected from him. It is boring and ridiculous to Lan Zhan that he is starting to get used to Wei Ying’s presence in his life. It is boring that he’s beginning to notice and personally care for a single person instead of the world. It is boring how someone is breaking the seamless silence Lan Zhan has spent most his life wrapped up in and suddenly making it overflow with words - words he does not vocalize but Wei Ying hears anyway. That’s what finding the right person feels like, after all. So it is boring that Wei Ying, with his stupid grin, is so close to coming into his life, throwing out the worldly matters Lan Zhan is supposed to be devoted to and asking him, “Lan Zhan, isn’t it funny that I’m your worldly matter now?” 

I guess Wei Ying does get his wish in the end. Lan Zhan erupts and calls him "Wei Ying" for the first time ever because he made him open an erotic book, more specifically one that features explicit gay art. The production team is so slick, I felt giddy the first time I saw this. But still, I don’t think Lan Zhan was being fair, I’m sure he broke a rule that said it’s a great offense to reject someone’s gift. 

Lan Zhan strikes me as a closeted baby gay raised on ascetic principles, and Wei Ying’s confident chaotic bi energy is predictably sending his poor world for a toss. No wonder he was ready to duel it out with him. What are the implications of this, Wei Ying? You showed a Lan clan member gay erotic art and assured him there is absolutely nothing wrong in enjoying it. Do you want to kill him? 

And remember Wei Ying got this book from Nie Huaisang who has also been queer-coded. After a point, you lose sight of how many characters seem hella gay on this show.

Nonetheless, it is impressive that there is someone who can make the disciplined, detached Hanguang-Jun lose his calm and even get him to swear. Of course it ends up being something for Wei Ying to brag about later. It is indeed an accomplishment that few people can claim as their own.

Can We Buy An Island For Our President Zewu Jun?

Zewu Jun is not even being subtle here. Why is he smiling? Seriously, why?! The fact that his brother called this guy by his formal name which can be used only by people you're close to? The fact that he followed Wei Ying to the secluded part of the Cloud Recesses? Or because he was unable to find the real person since he's fixated on Wei Ying? Knowing our President, it's probably all of the above.

The show's clever usage of Zewu Jun as the emotional compass who points precisely to what Lan Zhan feels is definitely one of my favorite things. We see that Lan Zhan often says one thing about Wei Ying but means another and Zewu Jun is the stand-in for the audience who knows the truth.

We can see the contrast of a speechless Lan Zhan when Zewu Jun confronts him about wanting Wei Ying's company versus the facade he puts on when actually in Wei Ying's company. That's it for today's analysis, folks.

The Aqua Demon Hunt Is The First Testament To Their Chemistry

Wangxian end up sharing a room. (Do we have the President to thank for that?) Lan Zhan being all "Time for me to go meditate in solitude" and Wei Ying being ".... about how we belong together!"

Rewatching these scenes is definitely bad for my heart. The unconcealed disappointment on Wei Ying's face when Lan Zhan turns down his bet to prove their like-mindedness really sends. (Is this the ancient equivalent of a love calculator, Wei Ying? How did the Yiling Patriarch never invent a device like that, I wonder.)

Lan Zhan, did he really deserve this? He just wants to show you what an incredible, unmatchable team you both will make! And he is so good at reading your mind.

Just smiling at the fact that your bro exists for no apparent reason in middle of a hunt. Wei Ying sure has his priorities straight, even if nothing else in his life is.

Wangxian Are The Dream Team

Wei Ying distracting the water ghost and saving Lan Zhan at the same time so effortlessly? A stroke of admirable genius! I probably need to start a separate post to keep track of all the times Wangxian's teamwork puts everyone else to shame. Notice how every time Lan Zhan said "boring" in this episode, it was directed only at Wei Ying’s romantic gestures. 

It's that little shoulder bump that screams "I'm sorry I splashed water at you, I did out of my love for you, okay?"

I'm sorry Wei Ying, he just needs more time to process the fact that you are the unrivalled candidate for a cultivation partner he has ever come across. And if you ever get confused why Zewu Jun is mysteriously smiling at various points in the show, it's probably a "My brother is falling in love, good for him, good for him" smile.

Wei Ying’s little head tilt after they both defeat the water ghost that came for their boat that says, “See? We belong together.” 

When Lan Zhan learns why Suibian is called so and thinks, "My crush is a fucking idiot, love that for me.“ 

Wei Ying always understands what Lan Zhan is thinking or wants to say without him having said a word. Soulmates.

Thank you water ghosts for ensuring they both end up on the same boat and giving them the chance to display their spectacular synchronization. Maybe it’ll help Lan Zhan wake up.

I rejoice every time there is a juxtaposition of Wangxian with the straight couples because it proves our main characters are travelling the same romantic arc the others are.

Saving Him For The First Time

Lan Zhan rescues Wei Ying in the nick of time! Sure, that’s the Right Thing to do but do you see his expression? That’s unbridled shock that Wei Ying is going to die. And the matter of utmost importance to Wei Ying in this life-or-death situation is the fact that Lan Zhan isn't holding his hand after the "intimate" experiences they’ve shared. I cannot.

Ok Lan Zhan.. You don't touch people.. Let’s see who the exception is. But honestly we get it, just swooping in to save him was a lot to handle, holding his hand would have been a gay apocalypse on your heart.

Wei Ying Is Growing On Lan Zhan

Lan Zhan finally admits Wei Ying could be right, because annoying as he is, his deductions are brilliant. 

We learn Lan Zhan is secretly craving loqauts but throws it back when Wei Ying gives him one. Zewu Jun offers to buy loquats for Lan Zhan, again hinting at his repressed feelings for Wei Ying. 

When we hear a vendor selling Emperor's Smile, do we see Lan Zhan's anti-Wei Ying persona begin to crack or am I seeing things? 

The episode ends with someone (Wei Ying) taking two bottles of Emperor's Smile and paying for it. Whatever happens, Wei Ying is going to sneak his misconduct into the Cloud Recesses and his way into Lan Zhan’s unfaltering heart.

All in all, this was an episode that opened the possibility of Lan Zhan maybe starting to accept that Wei Ying is a nuisance he likes having around. At the very least, he wants to live in a world where Wei Ying is alive and being his unbelievable self. He’s a man of few words and many micro expressions so that’s why it’s so golden on the rare occasions he does slip up and show that he cares about Wei Ying, like saving him in this episode. His actions speak louder than his words, and they ring louder still as show progresses and he becomes the main line of defense between Wei Ying and anyone who so much as thinks about harming him.

Episode 5 drives it home that Wangxian have chemistry that is to be envied and worth investing in. We get the sense that these two are going to be together for a long ass time.

[mimiplaysgames]

Terra Week Day 6 (Free Day)

Summary: Sometimes, a ghost is a wish. | Word Count: 3,218

Read on AO3

A/N: For Terra Week 2021! You can find that account on Twitter!

~*~*~*~*~

The Tenets of a Master, Ch. 6

The Master’s bedroom is exactly as he left it many years ago. Bed made, dresser (now) dusty, curtains parted to let the sunlight in, walk-in closet neatly organized with not a single article of clothing in his hamper, as the Master was a fan of washing clothes every single day. Terra never found out why. 

Terra has rummaged through this drawer three times already and still he can’t find them. He’s looking for a stack of sepia-toned pictures, cradled in a small envelope, the ones on the top dated many years ago when the Master was a student, while the ones at the bottom chronicle some of his adult life when Terra and Aqua were children. He’s tried searching every drawer, every box, every cupboard, and has even looked under the mattress and in the pillow cases. He couldn’t have misremembered them, could he?

One of the things he’s surprised to find instead is a small, delicately furnished wooden box with a latch. Full of cigars. The Master never smoked, but maybe he liked to smell like them. Though Terra would never personally choose to keep a set in his dresser, smudging all his clothes. 

Sighing, Terra stands by the bed, taking another gander around the room to see if there’s a spot he could have missed. Maybe behind the mirror? No, not there. He slips his hands into his pockets, and finds something else. Folded over in four, the paper is crumpled, living in his pocket for the better part of a week. Naminé’s drawing of Xemnas is messier, the strokes of crayon meshed into each other that he’s less of a childish, crude figure and more of a smear. That ring of fire surrounding him stays closed. 

Terra grunts.

Here comes another headache, a tense pulse above his brow. Massaging it never helps. Suddenly, Terra is not in his Master’s old bedroom anymore. Suddenly, he’s standing high on a cliff overlooking a wasteland, talking to someone in a black cloak with the hood up. 

Now he’s back in the bedroom, the sun cutting shapes through the lace curtains with the breeze passing by. In a few minutes, the headache will go away. This is how it goes every single time.

Yes, it’s been a week since they left Radiant Garden. Only Ienzo uses the Gummiphone for contact, leaving long messages that take Terra too much time to reply back to. The rest of the team would prefer correspondence through letters, which is something Terra would rather do as well. He just hasn’t done so yet, focusing his attention on cleaning the castle as they start a new life without their old Master. Once that’s done, he promises himself to do so. 

It’s a shame, he knows he should make more of an effort (and promises that he would once he takes care of the Master). Xion sometimes texts him with pictures, some of them with Roxas, who still hasn’t made an effort to talk to him even though they played a good race at the beach (Terra didn’t even need to let him win—that kid is fast). That’s okay. Xion has offered to set Terra up with what she calls a Kingstagram account, and Terra supposes that’s okay, too. He just doesn’t know what that is or if it’s worth his time. 

In the end, he is still really bad at connecting with others, and he’s still out of pictures, and he still doesn’t know what to do with the Xemnas drawing. Any moment now, Aqua will come looking for him. They’re finally preparing for his memorial, to say goodbye to his Keyblade—

—And Terra has to say goodbye forever without ever seeing him again. What’s the point of staying linked to these memories if they do nothing for him? 

Why does looking at this drawing of Xemnas the only thing that gives him reminders?

Grunting, Terra rubs his face. Maybe it’s as good a time as any to text somebody now, distract himself so he calms down and do some good so he’s not completely isolated. He waits for his Gummiphone to turn on to the initial screen, the whirring of the machine the only noise accompanying him. How did Ven do this again? He clicks on his address book. Now he has to remember how to open a text and take a picture, particularly of the Xemnas drawing.

terra

did he ever call you an also-ran

Send.

Terra doesn’t expect Lea to answer right away. He probably will read the text, probably take the time he needs to register how he feels before painting his usual bright smile that he uses to play everyone. Maybe Terra has him all wrong. Maybe this is really offensive, and Lea would actually be upset. It’s not his intention.

The Gummiphone buzzes several times.

lea

see

i told isa the other day

the first time i saw you i thought you looked like an asshole

Terra snorts to himself quietly.

terra

is that your favorite word

lea

;3

So it’s all good. Terra breathes a sigh of relief, a smirk that’s warm on his cheeks. He doesn’t know if texting people randomly is the right way to go about doing this whole make-new-friends thing. It’s not as easy as walking up to somebody and saying hello anymore, but starting a new life doesn’t have a manual. 

As though the chains he linked through Xemnas harbor resentment, he’s hit with another spasm of pain, drilling onto the side of his skull. Stars, they get intense sometimes, some of them downright gorey. He will not think about it. He will push it away. The pain subsides but only a bit, throbbing instead. 

It can’t end like this. He’s avoided going back to Naminé ever since just to keep trying and see Eraqus, one more time. One more. It’s not much to ask for, so why can’t the stars be more forgiving? He swears to them he’ll never ask for something again. 

Terra groans, pain hammering over his brow. What’s coming this time is going to knock him around, so he lowers himself to his knees. Several people dressed in extravagant embroidery, from some other world, being swallowed up by darkness, their hearts floating up to the sky and a small cry of Mister, is my mommy coming back? 

When it’s over, Terra sobs, keeping a heave from rupturing his chest and wiping dry tears. If Aqua comes in and sees him like this, she’ll freak—she’s already brewed so many potions and teas for him whenever he has an episode. 

He tries for the closet again. The Master kept his most expensive robes wrapped in plastic, preserving a faded scent of cedar. Terra takes the fabric, smooth as silk, and breathes into it. It’s weaker than last time. He could always spray it with the Master’s leftover cologne (his favorite), but it still wouldn’t smell exactly like him, and as Terra waits seconds for another memory to come, he realizes as soon as it hurts that it wouldn’t bother with giving him what he’s looking for. All he asks for is the sound of the Master’s voice, to see that smile move one more time so he makes sure he sears it into his mind for the rest of his life. 

Instead, a strong voice (Xehanort’s) talks about the Darkness making way for the Light, just like the expansive sky that is home to the stars. It was necessary to pursue it, he had said to someone. 

A single tear treads all the way to Terra’s jawline. He’s tried his best. No photos, no special memory. It’s like the Master doesn’t linger here anymore.

Defeated, Terra pulls his Gummiphone out, searching for Naminé’s entry. He won’t commit to an appointment. He’s only asking questions, wondering if there are better ways to maneuver through the memories so he gets what he wants. She doesn’t answer right away. 

He pulls himself up at the foot of the bed, aching like an older man even though he looks twenty in the mirrors. What lies.

Where else to find mementos? Terra has already looked through the Master’s study and his favorite spots in the library. The only place left is the attic. 

The attic sits atop the northeast tower. Terra is in the residential wing, in the southeast tower, so he has to travel several paces downstairs to make it over, just to climb all the way back up. Entirely built of wood, the attic has one stained-glass window that slices pastels through the floorboards. A lot of junk gets dumped up here—old knight statues from a Master that lived eight-hundred years ago or so, faded paintings that have names but aren’t recognizable anymore, couches that are stained and out of style, chests of outdated books and maps, and trinkets and gifts that litter everywhere else. Even Aqua can’t bear to let any of this go despite that none of it truly belongs to anybody. To her, it’s like rejecting their history. The Master probably had felt the same.

Before what happened, Master Eraqus was moving items up here, mostly stacks of papers. They were shoved in a leather binder, tied together with string. It’s a long shot the photos will be with them, but regardless, Terra begins the hunt. 

It’s not in the chest of crystals. Not by the old (creepy) dollhouse. Not with any of the broken phonograms, nor with the folded rugs that stack from floor to ceiling. 

But it’s right there, sitting neatly by a basket full of gold artifacts from worlds Terra has never been to and engraved in languages he doesn’t know, tied with a red string and stitched in handmade leather. When Terra pulls it open, he’s greeted by a handful of letters written to Eraqus about trouble in other worlds, asking for his help, and a stack of essays about the philosophy of the Keyblade, both in the common-tongue and the ancient. 

It’s nothing like reliving memories or watching them like footage, but Terra imagines the Master working late into the night on his desk with a quill, writing these essays slowly so he keeps his impeccable script. He’d read books with a glass of wine every night, and keep at it in the morning with a mug of coffee, hair unbrushed as usual but that’s fine when he keeps it in a short ponytail every day. He’d disappear every week to some other world, leaving Terra and Aqua with a nanny until they were old enough to take care of themselves. Considering what these people are writing about—missing circus animals, their neighborhood mountain being possessed, and even an early report of Unversed showing up in the woods—the Master used to be a busy man. 

Why did he have to die that day? Why can’t Terra keep the things that are supposed to come with home?

Terra sniffs. The smell of cedar comes up, as though the cologne was sprayed up here recently. Kicked up with a cloud of dust, as though the Master is here.

I am… well, for a short time at least.

Terra whips over his shoulder to find the Master behind him, a glow beaming through him as he checks the rust spreading on one of the oldest sets of armor. Picking up dust, Master Eraqus rubs it between his fingers.

This sorely needs urgent attention. I recommend some solvent and a spot of oil, he says, smiling at Terra as if it’s any other morning and breakfast will be announced soon. So many histories live here.

“Master?” Terra drops the papers.

Eraqus tsks his disapproval and like muscle memory, Terra immediately gathers the papers together, working on automatic mode, tucking them under his arm as if this is class and he has to be on his best behavior. When the Master approaches, he makes no noise: no thuds to his steps, no wind whooshed by his robe, gliding gracefully across the floor. Terra bows... though he cannot fight the urge to stare up. Terra has forgotten about the scar; it was on the Master’s face,  every single day, but he’s never heard the story behind it. An elephant accident. A run-in with pirates. Those were the contradicting explanations he’s heard every time he asks.

The Master looks down, motioning with his hand to stand up. Look at you. Almost as tall as I am.

“You’re here.”

The Master smiles. This is the happiest Terra remembers him being; he must not feel his chronic back pains anymore. You have spent your whole week following me. He gives Terra a mischievous knowing in his eyes. I suppose it would be rude of me not to return the gesture.

“I’m sorry,” Terra gasps, mouth gaped open for all the words he prepared, but now that the moment is passing by, he doesn’t know what to say anymore. He reaches out with a hand but stops himself, scared of what it would feel like to to pass right through the image. “I missed you.”

And I have missed you all so much, Eraqus says with contentment.

“I wish it never happened,” Terra chokes. “Sometimes, I wish I could find some way—”

Shhh. The Master shakes his head lovingly. Don’t. No longer shall you venture down the path of grief. You have already experienced first-hand what such curiosities could lead to. And you already know you don’t need to. 

“I know,” Terra whispers. “I know.”

When the Master smiles this time, he sighs and closes his eyes like he’s feeling the sun. I have reunited with so many of my old friends since. Such a peaceful existence. He opens them. Your friendships are something to cherish for as long as they can physically walk by your side, Terra. But who am I to lecture? You have always. Friends to love, who want to care for you. I am so proud.

So proud…

Tears, quiet and happy, fall like drops of spring, Terra hearing what he always yearned to hear since he was six years old, a comforting embrace that wants to tell him he can breathe again without feeling guilty. 

But he still does. Every living breath is guilty by association.

“She’s so happy now,” Terra whispers as if to justify his actions, remembering Aqua sparring for the first time with Rainfell in years, hesitant at first, unsure of how it’s going to react with spells, but it comes fast. It comes like drinking water, natural and needed. “I don’t regret anything.”

Which was why you were the perfect candidate when I had asked you to look after them. He smirks. I couldn’t have trusted anyone better for the responsibility. 

Terra swallows, searching for the courage not to ask, believing he shouldn’t. He’s weak. “I am?”

The smile falls. You are not weak. 

You are willing to bare it all for your friends. Your bonds with Aqua and Ven are unbreakable, a magical, special, living Light to behold. A forge stronger than chains, weightless and free. I am sorry for seeding so much doubt within you, when you have so much to offer. If only I wasn’t—it was my duty to do better. That is my shame. He shakes his head at himself. But you’ve been so dedicated to the past, Terra, he says, concerned but not disappointed. Too much so. I worry. 

Terra grimaces. “Ha, I never have any explanations for the dumb mistakes I make when I need to.”

You’ll find little answers in what lies behind you. The Master leans forward, pulling a small smile as he studies Terra’s eyes. But you are more than capable. Please do me the favor. Trace the past no longer. You have your bonds to nourish, and more to flower. Then he smiles more, an epiphany in his eyes like he wants to share a secret. Only in death did I realize what true Mastery really is. The living can be so foolish. 

“You weren’t a fool, Master.”

Master… A Master is a forever student. To deny this is to be blind to your faults. Eraqus laughs, his eyes rolling. What would I have said to my younger self. You don’t see that one in the books. 

“I don’t know, I… I think what I did for Aqua trumps any dream I had in becoming Master.”

Eraqus’s eyes glisten. Do you not see one when you look at yourself in the mirror? 

Terra bows his head, squeezing his eyes shut.

He feels a hand on his shoulder, warm and real. Terra could hug him. But he doesn’t, not when Eraqus slips something flat in his hand. 

Do take care of them. He holds Terra’s jaw. Chin up, son.

Footsteps climb up the stairs leading into the attic, and Terra is alone with a smooth piece of paper in one hand, the other wiping tears from his cheeks.

“Terra? You okay? I’ve been looking everywhere for you.” Aqua is carrying a finished wreath with purple flowers. She stops when she gasps, looking around the attic. “That smells like the Master’s cologne,” she whispers.

When Terra smiles, he cries more. “Look at this.”

A sepia-toned picture of Eraqus as a young boy, sitting on a window seat with a chess board laid out in front of him, all teeth from ear to ear, sincere and hopeful. He looks at the camera like it’s his best friend. 

Aqua’s eyes light up as she takes it, a tear for each eye. “Look at him. It’s so strange, but he was adorable.”

“Have you ever seen that one?”

“Never. It wasn’t with the others.”

“The others?”

She strokes the photo with her thumb. “Hm. I moved them into my room. I wanted to frame them.” She holds it to her chest. “Can I take this one?”

“For your room?”

“I’ve got one ready for yours. It’s that nice portrait that used to embarrass him.”

The one where he looked serious enough to judge someone to death. The Master had called it unsightly when it was presented to him.

“That one’s perfect.”

Aqua exhales deeply, shivering as tries to keep herself tall. “I’m so sad he’s gone, and... I don’t know. Sometimes I wish I had given him a Wayfinder. He feels so far away.”

He holds her chin softly, keeping it up as her heavy tears fall. “We could give him ours.”

She stops sobbing and stares through Terra when the realization hits her. She nods. “That’s a wonderful idea,” she says, nuzzling the wreath closer to her, her own little hug for the Master. 

Terra’s Gummiphone buzzes in his pocket. That has to be Naminé. 

“The wreath is beautiful,” he tells Aqua, and that grounds her back to reality. “You’ve done a marvelous job.”

“Thank you.” She strokes some of the leaves to keep them in place. “I’ll see you back at the front door?”

“Definitely.”

He’ll let her go downstairs first, pulling out the Gummiphone to read his new text. He’s going to tell Naminé that he’s changed his mind. He’s ready for an appointment.

[stattic-writes]

Baby Daddy: Intro

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Katsune no Hanayome Ch. 2

Hey, everyone. :D

This is a commission multi-chapter fic, for @eggyboi13, who has been so patient with me in regards to how long I’ve been taking to get this out. I’m hoping to get a new chapter out every Friday and here is the second one. I’ll work on putting these on A03.

If you want to show me your support, consider asking for a commission (only for art though) or leaving a tip in my ko-fi.

—-

Katsune no Hanayome Chapter 2

Rated: Mature (18+)

Trans!Bakugou Trans!Todoroki Trans!Kirishima

Later chapters will contain things such as: s e x , lots of it. Heavily pregnant s e x.

[Chapter 1]

A year certainly passes quickly, regardless of how much fun you’re having. For Shoto, Eijirou, and Katsuki, that year of courting began rather slowly but as their fondness and affection for Izuku began to heat up, and well, time did seem to slip.

Every morning the men would open their doors to see flowers waiting for them. Sometimes it would be one or two, and other times it’d be a stunning bouquet. These flowers never wilted and would always smell lovely. Eijirou loved the little surprise every morning, as far as anyone was concerned it was obvious that Izuku had won his heart only a week into their stay. The red haired warrior, despite his unbreakable nature, could be quickly smitten by the kitsune’s sweet affection.  

Especially when he realized that maybe life in the spirit world might actually be better for him than the land of the living. At first, he wasn’t so sure, but emotionally bonding with Izuku was enough for him to make the decision to stay early on. Although he didn’t tell Izuku right away, he knew that this was what he wanted.  

About three months into their year, Izuku caught Eijirou acting strange in the bathroom. The door wasn’t shut all the way, so the kitsune peeked in. Eijirou was staring at his reflection, pulling on his hair and complaining about his black roots.

Izuku knocked, and asked, “Is everything okay?”

“Hm?” Eijirou looked over at Izuku, “Oh, um, so I don’t suppose you have any hair dye, do you?” 

Izuku shook his head. 

Eijirou let out a sigh, “Well then I guess I’ll --,” 

“Wait.” Izuku reached forward, he clasped Eijirou’s hands and smiled brightly, “Come to the potion room with me, I think I might have something that might work.”

Izuku’s hands were soft and warm against Eijirou’s toughened, thick skin. He didn’t hear a word Izuku said, no, not over the sound of blood rushing in his ears and god damn, why was this man so beautiful??

Eijirou nodded, and allowed Izuku to pull him into the hall. 

Their hands firmly woven together. 

Eventually Eijirou found himself in a large room, with shelves of bottles lining the walls. Each bottle contained a different liquid, and probably performed a different magical feat. 

“My clan makes potions.” Izuku explained, as he grabbed a few bottles off the shelves and placed them onto a table in the middle, “Let me make you something special for your hair.” 

Eijirou nodded and he watched Izuku begin to work. 

Izuku took each bottle and poured a varying amount of its contents into a small wooden bowl. Then with a finger, he mixed the contents thoroughly and held the bowl out toward Eijirou, “Here, drink this.”

Eijirou held the bowl in his hands and he stared down at the liquid inside it. It was watery, but a rose color, and it smelled sweet. After a few short seconds of deliberating on if he should drink the potion or not, he decided for it. 

And the effects were instantaneous. 

“Did it work?” Eijirou asked.

“Sure did.” Izuku reached into his kimono and pulled out a little round mirror. 

Eijirou saw his reflection and smiled. 

His roots were gone. 

Eijirou was completely won over. 

This was a fact. 

He would spend hours and hours in the library with Izuku, talking about the different myths. Eijirou’s mothers had told him countless stories about this topic and he’d discuss them with the kitsune. 

Sometimes Izuku would correct him on a little detail about an event or explain further about something else. It was truly amazing to hear and converse with someone who had been around such a mythical -- wait, it wasn’t mythical anymore, was it? No. It was real. 

Every time they’d talk Eijirou could feel his heart flutter and his body heat up.

Yeah. 

He was staying.

--------

Shoto was indifferent to the flowers. He wasn’t really sure what to do with them. Yeah, they smelled nice but he didn’t really need them. Regardless, Izuku still sent them every morning. It was quite a thoughtful action.

What Shoto did enjoy was the candles and soaps that would occasionally be gifted to him. He valued these objects, especially during the first few weeks. He was more anxious than Eijriou and Katsuki about this situation, even though he didn’t really let them or anyone know. The calming scents of the soaps and candles would relax him.

The lavender would relax him.

The mint and eucalyptus would ease the soreness of his chest that would often come with long periods of binding. 

It was thoughtful of Izuku.

One of the gifts that Shoto valued the most was the homemade soba. It was amazing. He’d eat it every day if he could, but he knew if he did he might gain some weight. He did plan on rejecting Izuku’s advances afterall, he didn’t want to come back home out of shape. 

Of course, that was his first opinion, but such things do change. 

Especially after months of courting.

“Do you have a father?” Shoto asked Izuku as they watched the koi fish swim in their pond on a warm night.

Izuku looked over at Shoto and smiled, “Yes, all spirits have to be born somehow and it's done very similar to humans.” he explained, “My father never treated my mother well, and when I became of age to take over the clan I challenged him. It was a tough fight, let me tell you. It’s never easy fighting family, but I did what needed to be done and banished him from ever stepping foot in my territory.”

Shoto nodded, he reached over across the foot of grass in between them and took Izuku’s hand in understanding, “I wish I was strong enough to challenge my father and protect my mother.” he admitted. 

“You’ll have your time to, I know it.” Izuku encouraged, flashing a sweet smile. He then lifted Shoto’s hand and kissed it, “And I would also like you to know, if you choose to stay here with me, I will never treat you badly.”

A blush began to form on Shoto’s cheeks, he smiled and allowed himself to be smitten.

------

Of the three men, Katsuki was the hardest to win over. 

Any flowers given to him were instantly lit ablaze. Soaps and candles were melted or crushed. Silk robes were dirtied and ripped to shreds. If Izuku was ever going to win Katsuki over, he was going to have to do more than just give him cute, little things. 

Although, he did love the scrolls. Izuku had given him scrolls filled with ancient fighting techniques and styles that were so old they were long forgotten by mankind. Katsuki would spend hours and hours of his days reading these scrolls and learning from them. 

“Hey, fox boy!” Katsuki called from an open area in front of the house, “How about we have a little sparring match?” 

“You want to fight me?” Izuku inquired. 

“Hell yes, I wanna fight you.” Katsuki confirmed, “And listen, if I win, you're going to let me go. You got that?”

Izuku appeared to consider the proposal, he knew there was literally no way a human could win against him. Katsuki could study all those books and learn every fighting technique to perfect and he’d still lose. He knew Katsuki would lose, but was it wise of him to entertain the request and fight the man whose heart he was trying to win over?

“And if you win....” Katsuki continued, “Not only will I be a good little captive for you, for the remaining months at least, but I’ll even give you a kiss.”

“Deal.”

There was no way Izuku was going to lose. 

Shoto and Eijirou watched from a window on a higher floor, “Looks like they’re going to spar.” Shoto described. 

Eijirou glanced down and smirked, “Oh, well no offense to Katsuki but this is a fight he isn’t going to win.”

“Agreed.”

Katsuki would argue and say the only reason he lost was because he was distracted by the beauty that radiated from Izuku. But, even though he did lose, it was worth it in the long run. His blasts would tear away chunks of Izuku’s robe until he set fire a little too close to the kitsune’s genitals. 

It looked like a human’s dick. At first, Katsuki had figured a yokai spirit or whatever the hell he was, would have like, a dick with eyes and seventeen testicals or something like that. Maybe it was the magic of the place, or maybe it was the fact that he hadn’t had any action in too long but, damn.

Katsuki felt himself crumble, and in this moment of distraction Izuku pounced on him and pinned him to the ground. Katsuki could feel Izuku’s penis touch his inner thigh and a heat began to radiate from within his pelvis but he ignored it.

“Well, it looks like I’ve won.” Izuku declared. 

“Y-yeah, it does.” Katsuki pushed himself upward on his elbows and gave Izuku the promised kiss.

[spiritmoony]

The Loyalists, Enneagram Type Six 

Positives: committed, security-oriented, engaging, responsible, reliable, hard-working, responsible, trustworthy, excellent "troubleshooters," foresee problems, foster cooperation, internally stable, self-reliant, courageously championing themselves and others, dutiful

Negatives: anxious, suspicious, defensive, evasive, complaining while stressed, cautious, indecisive, reactive, defiant, rebellious, problems with self-doubt and suspicion, fearful, pessimistic

Basic Fear: being without support and guidance

Basic Desire: security and support

Enneagram Six with a Five-Wing: "The Defender"

Enneagram Six with a Seven-Wing: "The Buddy" 

Key Motivations: security, support by others, certitude, reassurance, test attitudes of others toward them, fight against anxiety and insecurity 

Direction of Disintegration (stress): suddenly competitive and arrogant at Three 

Direction of Integration (growth): more relaxed and optimistic, like healthy Nine 

Of all the personality types, Sixes are the most loyal to their friends and to their beliefs. They will “go down with the ship” and hang on to relationships of all kinds far longer than most. Sixes are also loyal to ideas, systems, and beliefs—even to the belief that all ideas or authorities should be questioned or defied. Their beliefs may be rebellious and anti-authoritarian, even revolutionary. In any case, they will typically fight for their beliefs more fiercely than they will fight for themselves, and they will defend their community or family more tenaciously than they will defend themselves.

They are so loyal because they do not want to be abandoned and left without support—their Basic Fear. Thus, the central issue for type Six is a failure of self-confidence. Sixes come to believe that they do not possess the internal resources to handle life’s challenges and vagaries alone, and so increasingly rely on structures, allies, beliefs, and supports outside themselves for guidance to survive. If suitable structures do not exist, they will help create and maintain them. 

Sixes have the most trouble contacting their own inner guidance. As a result, they do not have confidence in their own minds and judgments. 

This does not mean that they do not think. On the contrary, they think—and worry—a lot! They also tend to fear making important decisions, although at the same time, they resist having anyone else make decisions for them. They want to avoid being controlled, but are also afraid of taking responsibility in a way that might put them “in the line of fire.” (The old Japanese adage that says, “The blade of grass that grows too high gets chopped off” relates to this idea.) 

If Sixes feel that they have sufficient back up, they can move forward with some degree of confidence. But if that crumbles, they become anxious and self-doubting, reawakening their Basic Fear. (“I’m on my own! What am I going to do now?”) A good question for Sixes might therefore be: “When will I know that I have enough security?” Or, to get right to the heart of it, “What is security?” Without Essential inner guidance and the deep sense of support that it brings, Sixes are constantly struggling to find firm ground. 

Sixes attempt to build a network of trust over a background of unsteadiness and fear. They are often filled with a nameless anxiety and then try to find or create reasons why. Wanting to feel that there is something solid and clear-cut in their lives, they can become attached to explanations or positions that seem to explain their situation. Because “belief” (trust, faith, convictions, positions) is difficult for Sixes to achieve, and because it is so important to their sense of stability, once they establish a trustworthy belief, they do not easily question it, nor do they want others to do so. The same is true for individuals in a Six’s life: once Sixes feel they can trust someone, they go to great lengths to maintain connections with the person who acts as a sounding board, a mentor, or a regulator for the Six’s emotional reactions and behavior. They therefore do everything in their power to keep their affiliations going. (“If I don’t trust myself, then I have to find something in this world I can trust.”) 

"About nearly every decision would involve a council of my friends. Please make up my mind for me! Recently, I’ve narrowed my authorities to just one or two trusted friends, and on occasion, I’ve actually made up my own mind!"

Until they can get in touch with their own inner guidance, Sixes are like a ping-pong ball that is constantly shuttling back and forth between whatever influence is hitting the hardest in any given moment. Because of this reactivity, no matter what we say about Sixes, the opposite is often also as true. They are both strong and weak, fearful and courageous, trusting and distrusting, defenders and provokers, sweet and sour, aggressive and passive, bullies and weaklings, on the defensive and on the offensive, thinkers and doers, group people and soloists, believers and doubters, cooperative and obstructionistic, tender and mean, generous and petty—and on and on. It is the contradictory picture that is the characteristic “fingerprint” of Sixes, the fact that they are a bundle of opposites. 

The biggest problem for Sixes is that they try to build safety in the environment without resolving their own emotional insecurities. When they learn to face their anxieties, however, Sixes understand that although the world is always changing and is, by nature uncertain, they can be serene and courageous in any circumstance. And they can attain the greatest gift of all, a sense of peace with themselves despite the uncertainties of life. 

Levels of Development

Healthy:

Level 1 (At Their Best): self-affirming, trusting of self and others, independent yet symbiotically interdependent, cooperative, belief in self, courage, positive thinking, leadership, rich self-expression

Level 2: able to elicit strong emotional responses from others, very appealing, endearing, lovable, affectionate, trust, bonding with others, forming permanent relationships and alliances

Level 3: dedicated to individuals and movements they deeply believe in, community builder, responsible, reliable, trustworthy, hard-working, persevering, sacrificing for others, create stability and security in their world, bring a cooperative spirit

Average:

Level 4: investing their time/energy into whatever they believe will be safe/stable, organizing, structuring, look to alliances and authorities for security and continuity, constantly vigilant, anticipating problems

Level 5: resist having more demands made on them, react against others passive-aggressively, evasive, indecisive, cautious, procrastinating, ambivalent, highly reactive, anxious, negative, giving contradictory "mixed signals," internal confusion, react unpredictably

Level 6: compensate for insecurities by being sarcastic and belligerent, blaming others for their problems, taking a tough stance toward "outsiders," highly reactive and defensive, dividing people into friends and enemies, looking for threats to their own security, authoritarian while fearful of authority, highly suspicious, conspiratorial, fear-instilling to silence their own fears

Unhealthy:

Level 7: fearing they ruined their security, panicky, volatile, self-disparaging, acute inferiority feelings, see themselves as defenseless, seek out a stronger authority or belief to resolve all problems, highly divisive, disparaging, berating others

Level 8: feeling persecuted, others are "out to get them," lash-out, act irrationally, fanaticism, violence

Level 9: hysterical, seeking to escape punishment, self-destructive, suicidal, alcoholism, drug overdoses, self-abasing behavior, corresponds to the Passive-Aggressive and Paranoid personality disorders

Addictions: rigidity in diet causes nutritional imbalances, working excessively, caffeine and amphetamines for stamina, alcohol and depressants to deaden anxiety, higher susceptibility to alcoholism than many types

Personal Growth Recommendations

Be more present to your anxiety, explore it, and come to terms with it. Work creatively with your tensions without turning to excessive amounts of alcohol (or other drugs) to allay them. In fact, if you are present and breathing fully, anxiety can be energizing, a kind of tonic that can help make you more productive and aware of what you are doing. 

You tend to get edgy and testy when you are upset or angry, and can even turn on others and blame them for things you have done or brought on yourself. Be aware of your pessimism: it causes you dark moods and negative thought patterns that you tend to project on reality. When you succumb to this self-doubt, you can become your own worst enemy and may harm yourself more than anyone else does. 

Tend to overreact when they are under stress and feeling anxious. Identify what makes you overreact. Realize that almost none of the things you have feared so much has actually come true. Even if things are as bad as you think, your fearful thoughts weaken you and your ability to change things for the better. You cannot always manage external events, but you can manage your own thoughts. 

Become more trusting. There are doubtless several people in your life you can turn to who care about you and who are trustworthy. If not, go out of your way to find someone trustworthy, and allow yourself to get close to that person. This will mean risking rejection and stirring up some of your deepest fears, but the risk is worth taking. You have a gift for getting people to like you, but you are unsure of yourself and may be afraid of making a commitment to them. Therefore, come down clearly on one side or the other of the fence in your relationships. Let people know how you feel about them. 

Others probably think better of you than you realize, and few people are really out to get you. In fact, your fears tell you more about your attitudes toward others than they indicate about others' attitudes toward you.

[copperbadge]

you work in fundraising, so i was wondering if youve been following or have any thoughts on the mit media lab and jeffrey epstein fundraising mess? mostly curious about your perspective on ethics in fundraising

The whole thing went down at a moment when I was having some Real Life Transitional Action going on, so it’s taken me a while to catch up, and I still can’t say I know it as inside-out as some – I’m not following the Epstein thing in general but the MIT Media Lab aspect of it in specific is something I’ve done some reading on. 

I’m going to put this behind a cut because it’s long and also I talk about Epstein’s sex crimes, which may be traumatic for some people. 

The thing is, it’s not actually that unusual for nonprofits to help a donor conceal how much they’ve really given. The New Yorker article about it talks about a lot of practices that are actually considered standard for most nonprofits as if they were super duper shady. Things nonprofits do all the time:

1. Accept donations from individuals who are “disqualified” in their database. Disqualified just means they don’t have a dedicated gift officer and nobody is interested in asking them for money. It doesn’t mean offers of money are categorically refused. And nonprofits are so reluctant to reject money that there is frequently no classification for “we will not take money from this person ever.” 

2. Accept “anonymous” donations where they actually know the source. This just means that the individual doesn’t want credit publicly. Usually they are still credited in the system. There’s nothing particularly shady about this; a donor has a right to choose how they are identified. 

3. Consult a donor about use of funds. Like, why wouldn’t we? There are certain legal and ethical boundaries – donors should not be allowed to choose who is hired, fired, etc, and usually that’s in the agreement they sign when they give. But the donor can direct funds. This is why a new emphasis is rising on “unrestricted” gifts -- where the donor gives to an unrestricted fund and then has no more control over it. It lets the institution funnel that money into an area of the most need, rather than vanity projects and endless construction just so they’ll have a building to name after someone. 

4. Make use of a wealthy, connected donor to solicit other donors. This is extremely common and there’s no real issue with it. It’s like asking your buddy to ask his bowling league to help sponsor your walkathon. It doesn’t reflect super well on some of the people Epstein brought into MIT Media Lab, but it’s not an ethical issue institutionally speaking.   

Here’s the only problems, realistically, but they are doozies: 

1. The development staff knew Jeffrey Epstein was a convicted sex offender and that his offenses involved children and they still took his money. This is morally indefensible, to my mind, but...it’s not illegal. 

2. They clearly tried, or considered trying, to hide the source of the money from MIT’s larger administrative body, which means they knew what they were doing was morally indefensible. However, the letters we’ve seen indicate that they didn’t want to commit any illegal acts in their attempts to do so. 

3. They actively solicited him while listing him as disqualified. This is a breach of best practices, but it is something that happens, and morally not even an issue if you’re soliciting someone who isn’t a monstrous human being. Again, nothing they did was illegal. 

And that’s...troubling. Not because I think it should be illegal for criminals to give to nonprofits, but because there is no body, governmentally or otherwise, that said “this is wrong and there will be consistent consequences.” 

I think we can admit what happened is pretty fucked up. But it also highlights that there is no standard code of ethics for soliciting or accepting gifts from morally depraved individuals or ethically dubious companies, especially if they wish to remain anonymous and therefore aren’t associating themselves publicly with the institution. Having any kind of business dealings with Epstein should have been off the table absolutely, because there’s no way he wasn’t using MIT Media Lab to his benefit, and benefits are not something we want to offer to people who rape children. 

But there is no written guideline that all charitable organizations have signed, no membership organization that can oust someone who violates their code, that says “Here’s where we draw the line.” That policy is set individually by the nonprofit’s administration, which is almost always white male executives over the age of fifty. And often it isn’t “set” at all -- just handled on a case by case basis. Nowhere have all the universities of the country come together and said “We will agree on this ethical guideline for who we will and will not accept money from.” 

So public censure is all we have, and public censure can be very uneven in its targeting. And that’s becoming more and more untenable. 

And....well, it’s sort of my job to be the band aid. Which is really untenable. 

One part of my job, a part I’ve rarely had to exercise but a part that is really troubling, is preventing my organization from fucking up the way MIT Media Lab fucked up. It’s discovering a prospective donor is a war criminal or a sex offender or a con man and convincing my bosses not to ask them for money. 

And it doesn’t always work. Because they are my bosses and I can’t order them not to accept money from monsters. 

There’s a really telling moment in the New Yorker article: 

Ethan Zuckerman, an associate professor, had voiced concerns about the relationship with Epstein for years. In 2013, Zuckerman said, he pulled Ito aside after a faculty meeting to express concern about meetings on Ito’s calendar marked “J.E.” Zuckerman recalled saying, “I heard you’re meeting with Epstein. I don’t think that’s a good idea,” and Ito responding, “You know, he’s really fascinating. Would you like to meet him?”

That is the attitude fundraisers sometimes take, and in some sense can be forced by the situation to take, about morally dubious individuals. They know the person; they avoid knowing the reputation, because that means not only that someone they consider a colleague is a monster, but they’re going to have to grapple with either taking money from a monster or leaving it on the table for someone else to take. Someone was going to take that money if they didn’t, and FOMO is a powerful motivator when you have fundraising quotas to fill. 

So…MIT Media Lab’s fundraising team fucked up. But also a lot of the talk of how they fucked up seems focused on very common fundraising practices, rather than on the fact that a group of people looked at a convicted child rapist and made the decision to take his money. I think both fundraising ethics and fundraising best practices should be routinely and thoroughly examined, but I think there’s also a question surrounding wealth and desperation that’s going largely unexplored. 

And it comes back around to the idea that nobody should be this rich, and that if the rampant greed of the wealthiest people in the world had been contained at some point, nonprofits wouldn’t need to decide between turning down money and climbing into the pockets of child rapists to get it. And I don’t know how to fix that, I just know that it’s there and it’s a big problem.  

MIT Media Lab taking Jeffrey Epstein’s money was wrong, but it was also a symptom of a larger issue that is much, much worse. 

[ineffable-endearments]

Self-Image and Roles

Aziraphale’s sense of self-worth was based on Heaven’s approval since the Beginning. The very first dialogue he has in the whole series is used to worry that he might have Done The Wrong Thing by giving away the flaming sword. It’s really interesting to note that the audience (Crowley, and most real people I know who’ve seen the show) is immensely charmed by this show of compassion, but Aziraphale is frightened by it. He couldn’t resist doing it because he didn’t want to see Adam and Eve get hurt, but now he’s just concerned that his pity for these naked, sad creatures might have been somehow wrong.

The next we see is of God asking where the Sword is. We joke about Aziraphale lying to an omniscient God and that is definitely hilarious, but if you want to take a more serious look at it, he is afraid to tell Her out loud. She certainly must know what’s happened. And I doubt he doesn’t realize that. I think it’s just that admitting it out loud would make it feel more...intentional, maybe? Like, more brazen. Trying to wiggle your way out of a situation with a superior with a vague lie is very different from looking them in the eye and saying “yeah, I did it”.

Noah’s Ark. Aziraphale is profoundly miserable to be there. This time Crowley’s here too, and he gives a voice to Aziraphale’s doubts. Aziraphale protests, telling him it’s all Ineffable, and you can tell his heart’s not in the denial. But he’s the picture of fear and anxiety here. He’s not interested in stepping away from Heaven, but he obviously doesn’t disagree with Crowley. I think he is caught up in the fact that he hates this but his own judgement has no value because you can’t judge the Almighty.

The Crucifixion. The only talk of Heaven is Aziraphale distancing himself from their “policy decisions”. He doesn’t agree with what’s happening at all, but he still operates under two assumptions beleaguered employees everywhere make about their employers: that Heaven knows best and that he’s powerless to do anything to change it. Otherwise, both Aziraphale and Crowley are about as miserable as we see them with regards to human business in this scene.

Rome. Aziraphale is alone, and approaches Crowley to ask if Crowley is still a demon. This is a bit offensive to Crowley, I think, who responds that there is no other option. But Aziraphale persists, bringing up the oysters, “well let me tempt you to - oh that’s your job, isn’t it?” He’s reinforcing their angel and demon roles while at the same time informing Crowley that if he’s asked for social time, he will definitely say “yes”. Probably sees himself as 1. an angel (inseparable from Heaven’s will) and 2. an idle pastime.

Arthurian England. Crowley first suggests not doing their work and just telling Heaven and Hell that it’s been done anyway. At first Aziraphale makes a show of looking like he cares about lying to Heaven, but as the scene goes on it becomes clear that what he really cares about is Heaven’s approval. Not only would he be lying, but he’d be found out. Probably sees himself as 1. an angel and 2. an excuse.

Shakespearean England. Crowley tempts Aziraphale into teaming up to deal with the blessings and the temptation in Edinburgh. Aziraphale’s one and only complaint here is that “if Hell finds out, they won’t just be angry - they’ll destroy you.” As with Adam and Eve, Aziraphale doesn’t want anything bad to happen to Crowley, but he thinks this softness means there’s something wrong with him.

Also, up until now, it appears that all of Crowley’s suggestions have been work-related, and Aziraphale ends up losing the coin toss. Aziraphale does convince Crowley to miracle Hamlet into a success, but he seems actually surprised by the favor. I think around now is when he’s realizing he might actually be a friend.

TL;DR Aziraphale’s own self-worth is based in Heaven’s opinion, but he genuinely enjoys “the enemy’s” company and is upset by the notion that something could happen to said “enemy.” Because of this, I think it is safe to say that Aziraphale arrives at the conclusion that his desires do not matter.

Paris. This event, which I think was a conscious test of the relationship, should be the first big proof to Aziraphale that he means more to Crowley than an easy way out of work. It can’t be said out loud, as Crowley reminds him, but Aziraphale is now 1. an angel and 2. a friend but also 3. a risk.

St. James’s Park, Victorian era. During this particular episode, Aziraphale denies that he and Crowley have anything in common, because Crowley is Fallen. He’s once again reaching to Heaven for his personal worth. When Crowley persists in asking for a favor (it’s the Holy Water), Aziraphale’s first instinct is to cite Crowley’s safety, stating he won’t give him a suicide pill, and then to cite Heaven, stating that he would be in trouble with them.

This is Aziraphale desperately, desperately trying to maintain a comfortable status quo. His own self-worth is tied up in Heaven, but he still cares about Crowley. These two things are entirely not compatible, because as has been established, Aziraphale’s opinions and feelings do not matter. From this perspective, if Crowley really thinks this whole thing is so dangerous, then it’s going to be better for both of them if they just separate. Crowley then outright tells Aziraphale he doesn’t matter. Aziraphale seems to believe him. Aziraphale is 1. an angel and 2. a risk.

London, 1941. The church bombing. Aziraphale starts out this interaction quite angry, then relaxes when it’s clear Crowley is here to help. Then Crowley does The Thing. The saving of the books. It’s a gesture of real caring - he knew Aziraphale would care about the books, and he knew Aziraphale would forget to save the books, and he chose to do the kind thing for someone who had yelled at him last time they talked. There is no plausible deniability here, not to Aziraphale or to anyone else. Everyone loves to speculate about this moment, given that Michael Sheen said it’s when he thinks Aziraphale fell in love, but among other things, I think that this is also the moment Aziraphale realizes Crowley’s connection to him is real, heartfelt, and not going away. Aziraphale is 1. an angel and 2. a friend and 3. a risk Crowley is choosing to assume.

Soho, 1967. Aziraphale finally capitulates and gives Crowley holy water, demonstrating that he, too, cares for Crowley, but is unable to leave his own Side the way that Crowley would be willing to leave Hell. Aziraphale is 1. an angel, 2. beloved by the enemy, 3. dangerous.

Jump to modern times. Birth of the Antichrist. They make a whole new agreement, shake on it and everything, to be “godfathers” (and yes, it seems like Aziraphale is enthusiastic about that role). He is actually afraid of Heaven, intimidated by their power, but still draws personal meaning from them; being an angel still matters. I think in some ways he’s holding out because he’s hoping Heaven holds the key to stopping Armageddon if all else fails (early on, he asks Crowley what they’ll do if their godfather plan fails, and Crowley doesn’t have an answer). Aziraphale does view himself as an important friend to Crowley, but I think he finds himself questioning his importance a bit as Crowley seems to be declining all his ideas for saving the world...

...Except then, Crowley COMPLETELY shocks Aziraphale by suggesting they should run away together. Aziraphale was obviously not expecting that, and took it as a betrayal of the Side they’d created for themselves by being godfathers (even though this is so painfully not even remotely what Crowley was trying to do).

The bandstand breakup parallels the 1862 breakup to an absurdly close degree - same park, Aziraphale approaching Crowley looking anxiously over his shoulder. If things aren’t going to work out anyway, if Crowley refuses to join Heaven and keeps rejecting Aziraphale’s plans to save the Earth, then his association with Aziraphale is nothing but a danger to himself. It’s the same thought process that took place in the same park in 1862, except for one key difference: Aziraphale implies that Crowley could be an angel again this time. He does retreat to “I’m a great deal holier than thou, that’s the whole point” but this is only after Crowley has vehemently refused any notion that he could ever align with Heaven again.

In this complicated case, Aziraphale is 1. a questioning angel, 2. a godfather to Earth, 3. beloved, and 4. a huge risk.

Because he STILL identifies with being an angel (more and more hesitantly every hour), Aziraphale’s opinion on all this does not matter. It was not allowed to matter thousands of years ago, it was not allowed to matter in 1862, it was not allowed to matter in 1967, and it is not allowed to matter now.

Until.

Aziraphale’s tenuous balance is finally overthrown when he discovers that Heaven does not care about protecting Earth and will stop at nothing to decimate its enemy, which necessarily includes the “enemy” who loves Aziraphale. There is literally no Higher Power to turn to. Aziraphale decides he really doesn’t care about being a good angel so much anymore, and prefers the godfather role, seeking out his fellow godparent right away. He is no longer bound by Heaven’s approval.

Through the millennia, time spent balancing life on Earth, Crowley gave Aziraphale his second meaning, the one after being an angel, the one he eventually chooses. And that second meaning came through the Earth, through their mutual love for this place that Heaven and Hell disdained - and their love for each other and the gifts that each gave the Earth as well.

[naughtyxstories]

Werewolf (ABO) Universe

OOC Notes:

this universe has a lot of specific structural elements so feel free to message to discuss variations to our muses’ specific (aka - the one we are playing in)

all of my muses are available for this universe but it is noteworthy that even my female muses are Alphas.

all genders welcome

MODERN VERSE

To make it clean, I will set everything in the fictional city of Blackrock, on the west coast of North America

Variable is whether the entire world is comprised of shifters and wolves or whether there are still regular humans completely unaware of these dynamics going on.

Blackrock is populated by the Werewolves (either wholly or primarily) of the Pack

Being an Omega is biological and they are the only ones capable of bearing young

Both Alphas and Betas can breed with Omegas

In this modern world, all claims and mating pairs are supposed to be consensual.

However, there is still abusive partners and families and so forth.

Pairings could be any organizational structure. Therefore it isn’t uncommon for anyone to be paired or grouped into 3-4 people

Scent gives everything away but scent blockers do exist.

Alphas experience rut but generally chemically block themselves from going through it. Still at least once a year, they are supposed to experience it. Some put it off longer. The longer you put it off, the worse the rut is when you finally experience it. (for example, instead of two or three days, it’ll last a week and be much harder to maintain control)

Omegas can only block their heat for a maximum of one year or they will damage their ability to bear pups. Blocking it has no impact on the severity of their next heat. They are always extreme. Young Omegas tend to have irregular cycles, which means they have to be extra careful.

Courtship rituals, gifting and so forth are all still a part of society but an Alpha may be bold and just declare their intentions toward an Omega. They run the risk of scaring off their intended however.

Betas tend to court the most diplomatically, aware that they are culturally perceived as lesser but they tend to be more rational and do not experience the rut so therefore may be appealing to an Omega. They have to work a little hard to assist their Omega through their heat but they can do it.

Historical

A/B/O is biological. Alphas are the leaders and soldiers. Betas run all the businesses and manage the money. Given the rise to the top pits Alpha against Alpha, there are not that many of them. They will literally fight to the death.

In general historical societies, Omegas are treated as mere property and permitted to own nothing or control their own resources and bodies.

I would push this all the way back to Vikings era so that one of the pushes for the raiding is to find Omegas for breeding purposes.

Once claimed and mated, the Northmen tended to be very respectful of their Omegas and it was considered shameful to abuse your Omega. They were also permitted to manage money and could even keep their children if there was a petition to sever the mating bond. Omegas could petition their Jarl or King/Queen to sever the mating bond if they are unhappy with their mate. This was a great shame to the mate.

This puts the Northmen as unusually progressive for their time-period but most outside their communities would have no idea.

The Northmen are, as a whole, extremely protective of their Omegas and pups.

Fuck with them and the Northmen will fuck you up.

RULES OF COURTSHIP FOR THE MODERN BLACKROCK VERSES

[under the cut]

Overview

failure to abide by these Rules can result in the Alpha being expelled from the pack or even executed if the breach is egregious or results in permanent harm to an Omega

the ritual is specific but there may be differences between the arrogant/foolish pack members and those who have given their courtship a great deal of thought.

at any stage, the Omega may reject or refuse the Alpha. at the beginning this is just refusing to accept a gift or returning the item. as the courtship progresses, the refusal must be more specific and direct. the law will intervene if an Omega reports they are afraid to refuse an Alpha

after being refused, an Alpha is not permitted to renew their Courtship.

Stage One

it begins with gifts

the gift is intended to be personal and have meaning

arrogant Alphas may only gift money or a hank of freshly caught game

thoughtful Alphas will try to offer symbolic items or items they think will catch the Omega’s interest (ie a book, flowers, fresh food, a blanket which carries their scent)

cooking for the Omega is usually the next step and intended to demonstrate that the Alpha has the means to provide for their mate and pups

an arrogant or foolish Alpha will take the Omega to a restaurant or provide the Omega food prepared by another. Only an immature Omega would not find such behaviour offensive

anything more than ‘polite’ touches or kisses would be considered an insult to the Omega (polite would be touches to the hand or arm, kisses on the cheek and similar)

Stage Two

increasingly intimate dates starting with public occasions or where other family are present

public or chaperoned dates are followed by personal dates, alone in their homes or in some other setting allowing more privacy and increased intimacy

the gifts and offerings also become more intimate (such as clothing, underwear and jewellery)

the Omega may take to wearing or keeping with them an item carrying the Alpha’s scent

intimacies and touching may increase but it would be considered insulting to go beyond ‘making out’ or a sort of heavy petting

Stage Three

the bond is starting to really form between Omega and Alpha

they will crave each other’s presence and feel bereft if too much time passes without seeing one another

an Omega may lose their ability to reach orgasm without the presence of the Alpha, as if their body is already tied to their Alpha. this can feel strange or even make an Omega feel upset or uncomfortable and can be a challenge for the pair to overcome. it is the first true loss of control to a specific Alpha. it can result in a split or end of the courtship if the Omega does not deal with it well.

there is still no penetration but they may have been quite otherwise intimate, touching, caressing and even oral sex

the gifts will continue as well as other caregiving exercises, fixing up things for them, or even planning for a future ahead, meeting friends and family, presenting themselves as a couple in public and so forth

Accept or Refuse

an Omega’s scent changes usually approximately a week before their heat will commence

an immature or younger Omega will have a shorter window (48 - 72 hours rather than a full week) and their heat can be triggered by someone they know going into heat

at this stage, the Alpha will offer himself to their selected Omega and the Omega must decide to accept or reject that Alpha.

if rejected, the Alpha must leave and will seek the assistance of friends and family to calm themselves and frequently go through a rather harsh rut for getting so close and then being rejected. it is personally devastating but there are no social consequences for either Omega or Alpha.

everyone understands that when down to the final choice, the Omega has a right to decide and therefore refuse the Alpha

Heat / Rut

if accepted, the Omega and the Alpha will go through all the soft furnishings they possess and set up their mating nest, usually in the Alpha’s home

as the Omega’s heat starts to build, the Alpha will get more protective, quite literally stockpiling supplies in the home and loathing being separated from their chosen mate.

the heat may trigger the Alpha’s rut and this is considered the most primal and intense of bonds.

the heat usually lasts for just under three days (or about 65-70 hours) where the pair will have periods of rest but will not wish to be separated.

during the mating, the Alpha may knot and do so more than once within his mate. it is not mandatory though, although a pregnancy is unlikely to result if there is no knotting

the Alpha will not wish to be parted and will take great pleasure in preparing food for the Omega, bathing and maintaining physical contact

any interference by a third party will result in violence. sometimes a family member or members will stand guard outside the Alpha’s home to ensure the pair are not disturbed

the mating usually takes about a week, sometimes just under, sometimes just over before the mated pair will tolerate being separated from one another.

the period of time after the heat but during the mating is often sweet, silly, playful and gentle. sex continues but it has lost the urgency. for some this is their favourite part of their mating.

Claiming

Following the mating there is a claiming ceremony

the ceremony is more for show -  a public demonstration of what was already privately settled.

it forms a legal bond between the pair and gives the Alpha legal rights to any pups that resulted from the mating.

without the claiming ceremony, the Alpha has no legal right to the pups and paternity may be denied

it is a vulnerable time for an Alpha

between the mating and the claiming ceremony, an omega still has the right to change their mind

to do so would be considered humiliating for the Alpha

sometimes a spiteful Omega will deliberately lure an Alpha to this point in order to humiliate them and permanently spoil their chances. Once a refusal has become common knowledge at this stage between mating and the ceremony, the Alpha is unlikely to ever be accepted by another Omega.

THE EXCEPTIONS

There are only two acceptable exceptions to the above Rules of Courtship that will not result in severe consequences for the Alpha who has breached said Rules. These exceptions are mandated and any Omega signed up for them has done so voluntarily.

The Offering

An unusual ritual and only reserved for high ranking or particularly honoured Alpha Wolves that have performed a great service for the Pack. Omegas who are interested in being claimed by the Alpha may present themselves at a great celebration. Fancy gowns and fine suits are worn. Music, dance and fine food are offered.

At the culmination of the evening, the Omegas are presented and the Alpha may select whichever one has caught the Alpha’s interest. It is considered a great insult if no Omega is deemed satisfactory.

The Omega’s heat is deliberately triggered, usually through chemical means, and the Alpha may take the Omega home. The Offering takes the place of both the mating and the claiming ceremony, although many still have a claiming ceremony at a later date.

The Hunt

The spring is the season of the heat, when Omegas are more likely to go into heat. As such, Omegas will, more often, permit themselves to actually go through their heat and not use chemical blockers. It feels safe as there are so many enduring their heat at the same time. Betas will often assist the Omegas through their heat.

At this time of year, an Omega may sign up for The Hunt. An old-fashioned ritual harking back to the original days of the Pack. A group of Omegas, all on the verge of their heat, will sign up. The Alphas then also register. The Omegas are set free first, able to run (in either form) through the woods. An hour later, the Alphas are set free to chase them, following the scent of the Omega of preference.

Surrounding the acre of forest are a series of small cabins. Once captured, an Omega will be brought to the cabin by their new Alpha. It is unusual for an Omega to leave the grounds without becoming pregnant. It is a very intense and primal mating ritual that produces a strong bond between the mated pair. Something about the Hunt pulls at the Wolf part of them in a very primal way, which they have never managed to work out of their society.

Claiming ceremonies thereafter are optional.

[langernameohnebedeutung]

suzuwarahikaru replied to your post “what happens at 5 am?”

where is the essay, OP!?

@suzuwarahikaru​ Honestly, it’s drivel and I didn’t feel like it particularly went anywhere and it was just me monologuing about one aspect of a bigger question so that’s why I didn’t post it. But ok, just for some context: You probably know how the MCU was often criticised for having “bland one off villains” and that’s true especially in their early films - and that was time when Heath Ledger’s Joker loomed very large and Ian McKellen was famous for his performance of Magneto and the idea for a Magneto solo film had just been scrapped in favour of XM First Class. At that point apparently the MCU guys walked up with the demand that Thor 1 only has to give them 1 thing: A villain as good as Magneto which they could use in Avengers. Now, obviously it had to be Loki, because Loki is Thor’s most famous antagonist and he was the first guy the Avengers ever fought in the comics, and Loki in Thor 1 is satisfyingly complex - but now that Loki’s dead and has a solo show coming out in a while, people dug up that old quote and started arguing about whether Loki actually became a villain “as good as Magneto” - which I honestly wouldn’t care about, except this argument spilled a few  “But Loki is great and Magneto is boring”-posts into the Magneto tag a while ago (which mixes with a lot of: Why did Cherik get a happy end but Stucky didn’t that’s so unfair!!!! posts) and then some comments started lowkey implying that Loki is a character who’s more attractive to sophisticated fans and that Magneto fans are usually men and Loki fans women (with the not so subtle implication being that Magneto fans are comic dude bros who like him for his cool powers and because he’s a Bad Guy(TM) I don’t really care about that, but over the course of this argument someone made a rather interesting post, wondering about what “went wrong” with Loki and while I love Loki as a character and as a villain, it made me ponder what could have been done to make Loki (even) better and to help him stand on his own 2 feet as a character and this was their post:

Now and this was going to be my response: Personally, I don’t think that having spectacular powers or anything make a villain good (they make good visuals though) but whether the hero learns something from fighting them, whether their motivation maybe reflects something that we experience as well and that maybe they unmask something that we usually don’t feel comfortable to address. And Loki has all these qualities.

I’m not going to try to objectively pinpoint where it ‘went wrong’ but it’s actually interesting to look at the XMCU and the MCU and to compare notes. The XMCU is often criticised for being too wordy, too slow-paced and “what’s with the constant time jumps and decade-hopping?” But I think that’s something the Thor franchise could actually have profited from, because…these guys are immortals and it just feels rushed in my opinion to watch their world fall apart in what is for them a matter of a long weekend. 

For example, a bigger distance between the events of Thor 1 and Avengers would have lent more weight to Loki’s disappearance and Thanos torturing and brainwashing him, Thor’s and Jane’s relationship would have been given more time to develop (making their reunion in Thor 2 more meaningful). They could also have given her more time exploring Asgard/battling the Ether. We could have learnt more about the Dark Elves, the Frost Giants, the Nine Realms in general. 

And that’s at least part of the problem, in my opinion: We don’t know enough about Asgard. You can’t just throw in an alien word without world-building and you can’t introduce characters who are millennia old by showing us 6 years of their lives and maybe 1 flashback. There is a reason why a show like Good Omens spent basically an entire episode on Crowley and Aziraphale’s lives through the millennia. Captain America got a film set in the WW2, Wolverine Origins covers over a century of Logan’s story. Magneto isn’t a better (or worse) villain than Loki, because as you said, the writing makes the character and both get pretty good and pretty bad writing at times. But a big difference is: We know a lot more about Magneto than we know about Loki. 

One example of this is personal relationships. Something I never realised before I started typing this is how little space Loki is given to let him form/have/maintain/test/strengthen meaningful relationships. 

Basically, all his meaningful interactions are inside his family. Magneto (to be clear, I’m bringing up so often bc the MCU apparently insisted on being rude af and asking Kenneth Branagh on drawing inspiration from a character who’s basically the opposite of Loki in every regard) gets a lot more screen time to develop his relationships with other characters, even if it means less CGI action scenes. 

In fact, I’m currently tempted to find out how many 1 on 1 dialogue scenes Loki gets per hour of film vs. how many Magneto gets. Loki enters the picture with a family, ‘friends’, a biological father, servants, an entire kingdom of people who know him, but he barely gets to have any meaningful interactions outside of his family environment. Seeing him interact with a friend or even someone who hates him for reasons unrelated to his relationship with Thor or someone who supports him would in turn show us a lot about how he sees other people, how he sees himself, how he treats them, what he values in a person, what kind of people trusts (if he trusts) – that’s a lot of potential that was left pretty much wasted in my opinion. 

One of the first things Agent of Asgard did was add Verity Willis to its main-cast so have a character for Loki to interact with, to serve as a moral anchor, and to call him out on his bullshit. Having relationships is powerful. In the MCU, Loki’s relationship with his mother is such an important, humanising element to his character. Also a lot of headcanons and metas and thoughts about Loki are inspired by those few scenes where we see him interact with the Warrior’s Three and Sif before Loki finds out about his parentage. 

And even when encounters the Avengers, they meet once, they talk once, then Loki he returns to Asgard and they never meet again, except Bruce - and even then there’s barely any time to talk about what happened in Avengers 1. He doesn’t get to form any meaningful relationships with his adversaries when he talks to them in Av1, these scenes just exist to present the Avengers in a certain light. And in the end it’s canonised that Loki was brainwashed so it’s all pointless anyway. (pls (don’t) make me write an essay on agency and the MCU, because honestly, between Bucky, Gamora, Nebula, Loki and everyone else was brainwashed it’s actually worth a conversation)

Even in Thor 1 Loki never meets Jane or Darcy, one of the main-characters. And we never see a single frost giant after the first film. Erik Solveig is the only Earth character from Thor 1 Loki actually meets and he’s brainwashed for most of that and in Thor 2, they don’t get to meet again. 

Imagine if Loki had had someone he trusted in Thor 1 and told them about finding out he’s a Frost Giant and they reject him and treat him like a monster. This could be three or four scenes that don’t throw off the film but would have been very powerful. Or imagine if Loki keeps his heritage a secret from that friend/trusted person and they find out in Thor 2 and confront him about it. Valkyrie and Loki never talk about him invading her mind or the things he saw. 

We never get to see him alone on Sakaar to deal with what he presumes is the end of his home world and the death of everyone he knows and we never see him interact ‘win the Grandmaster’s trust’. 

We never see him interact with the Hulk before they’re suddenly fighting side by side in Infinity War. We never find out exactly what the Aesir’s sentiments towards him are, what kind of prince he was in the past, how present he is in public, what reputation he has beyond silver-tongue mischief guy and which specific events shaped it.

If the MCU wants a villain “as good as Magneto” (which is already annoying bc they imply that Loki is not as good a villain which is such a subjective measure – Magneto done wrong is a horrible and downright offensive villain and trickster characters done right are amazing for revealing the flaws of a hero.*) then they have to give writers and actors the same means to do that with. The X-Men franchise, for all it flaws, always gave Magneto screen-time (so much that people criticised it). 

There’s a Charles-and-Erik dialogue in pretty much every film, allowing us to follow the state of their eternal argument at every step. We see his friendship with Mystique grow and fall, we see Wolverine call him out on his bullshit, his attempt to make young Hank and Mystique feel better about their visible mutations, we know how he treats his followers, his new recruits, his enemies, his students, his wife and his daughter, (daughters, if we count The Gifted and his legacy), his colleagues, his lovers, his ex-lovers, allies and former allies, politicians, police, prison guards, Nazis, soldiers, insane Egyptian gods – and we get to learn his feelings and thoughts about all of these through personal interactions, decisions and gestures. And in turn we know how they feel about Magneto. What do we know about Loki’s feelings about people outside his family? How does he feel about Fandral? What are his thoughts on the Valkyrior? How did his views on Frost Giants change and when? Did he challenge them at all or did he just become cynical about them? 

As I said, Loki is a formidable villain but I think that he suffers from the same problem as many MCU characters: We hardly know them. Think about Natascha whose been part of the franchise since Iron Man 2 but we hardly know anything about her. How much do we know about the family Drax lost? Or about Wanda’s family? About Pepper’s private life? We hardly know anything about them and especially when characters are thousands of years old and we know nothing about their past, it really creates a gaping hole in their biography and that really leads back to my original point: If we could spend more time with them, we would know them better and care more. One of the reason Dark Phoenix is a bit under-whelming is because we know very little about Jean and Scott in this time line. 

There are two DCEU films I actually own and watched more than once: Wonder Woman and Aqua Man. And while I personally didn’t find Aqua Man that good, this film actually tells us a lot about him and despite my lack of knowledge about the DCEU and me being a giant Marvel nerd, I preferred Wonder Woman over Captain Marvel and that is because I felt closer to her character. It really boils down to a “show don’t tell issue” and for me, that would mean: Maybe fewer giant CGI battles. more people living their lives. *(which should also highlight why setting Magneto as a mark for K.B. is so off-mark. Loki is about unmasking hypocrisy, Magneto himself is a hypocrite who regards himself as a hero but often does immoral things and that for example gets unmasked by Wolverine, another social outsider with littl care for social conventions)

[homenum-revelio-hq]

Welcome to the Order of the Phoenix, Jess!

You have been accepted for the role of LILY EVANS! We really enjoyed reading your application. We especially loved the moments in your app where you showed that Lily is not perfect. You really gave us a clear view on both her strengths and her flaws. Her failed career as a healer was just an example of that! We are so excited to have you as part of this roleplay!

Please take a look at the new member checklist and send in your account within 24 hours! Thank you for joining the fight against Voldemort!

OUT OF CHARACTER:

NAME: Jess

AGE: 23

TIMEZONE: GMT+10

ACTIVITY LEVEL: I tend to be fairly active, my goal is usually not to let 3 days pass without doing my replies and I generally meet this (unless I have left a uni assignment to the last minute!)

ANYTHING ELSE: N/A for triggers

CHARACTER DETAILS:

NAME: Lily Geraldine Evans

AGE: 21

GENDER, PRONOUNS, and SEXUALITY: Cisfemale, she/her. Pansexual/Conceives of herself as heterosexual

BLOOD STATUS: Muggle-born

HOUSE ALUMNI: Gryffindor

ANY CHANGES: No thanks!

CHARACTER BACKGROUND:

PERSONALITY:

Lily Evans was made Head Girl in her final year at Hogwarts for more reasons than simply being a figurehead for Albus Dumbledore’s pro Muggle-born ideologies – although certainly, that helped. Known by many of her teachers and peers for being quick-witted and intelligent, the fact that she came to magic later than most of her peers did not hold her back for long. Lily’s intelligence soon helped her excel at magic, seemingly gifted at charming and conjuring all manner of magical items. She has a particular strength for defensive magic and healing, while her fondness for Potions rests in her stubborn and comforting belief that it is the most similar to the Muggle ways she employed in her youth, that the simple Muggle methods of hands and brain are just as powerful. Offensive magic is more of a struggle for Lily, she is by no means a natural fighter, although it is something she determinedly works on.

Also known for her kindness, Lily has an open heart and is truly an extrovert. She delights in the company of people and is always teasing someone or other, a fond smile and a ringing laugh never far from her countenance. In fact, lightly teasing others is her foremost means of showing affection, though this is something that never (or at least, rarely) strays into cruelty.

Kindness, however, is by no means softness. It is true that Lily believes in forgiveness, but she also has high standards and expects them to be met. Her love is not unconditional, and nor is her forgiveness. Her principles and ideals are close to her heart and for others to stray for them or betray them is to be met with Lily’s anger. She is forgiving, but not endlessly so, and does not forgive unless the merit is there, unless she decides the person deserves it. She is also used to being in the position of judgement, not to being the judged, which tends to bring out her self-righteous side, being so clear on what she believes to be right and wrong. When Lily is in the wrong, she struggles to admit it, having a strong sense of pride. She can become prickly and defensive, not so much playing the role of peacemaker as she is inclined to retreat, wounded. It’s a part of herself she’d often only seen in conflict with Petunia - maybe even a part of herself that mirrored Petunia. Resentment. And a sense of selfish pride, wounded self-righteousness so deep, it was easier to push the loved one away than apologise, than try to repair damage done. It’s not a quality Lily likes about herself, but it’s also one intrinsic, perhaps learnt by both at their parents’ knee.

Rightfully a Gryffindor, Lily is fierce and true. Her ideals always lead her to action, she is not one to sit back, even if she is not necessarily suited for a fight by nature. That does not stop her. Bravery runs quick and deep within her, and in fact, the more opposition she receives, the more she is inclined to push back. Her bravery then, extends to a defiant streak – even to provocation. Lily tends to take pleasure in talking back to those she scorns, in daring them to insult her, in attempting to prove herself above their scorn. There is indeed something desperate inside of her, a thirst to prove herself better than all that has been said about her kind.

Behind this solid sense of pride, however, lies a more sensitive side. Disapproval, disappointment - Lily hates letting people down, associating conflict with rejection. For that she can probably thank Petunia. When she found magic, she lost a best friend, her sister. When she found magic did not want her, she lost a best friend yet again, Severus. It is one thing to deal with the rejection of a whole world (or at least, so the Death Eaters and their allies often seem, a crushing weight) – that, Lily can shrug off, shoulders high, defiant until the end. But the two people she thought cared for her most, loved her most … that can only hurt, even still, years later. Lily remains insecure that she is not truly loved, that ultimately, she will lose people, no matter how much they seem to care for her now.

BRIEF OVERVIEW OF FAMILY: 

Lily grew up in the industrial town of Cokeworth, in the Midlands of England. The daughter of Adrian and Geraldine Evans, she has an older sister, Petunia Evans (now Dursley). For many years, her family was a close one, her parents strived hard to make it that way. The Evans parents used flower names for both of their two daughters. This was not particularly due to a family tradition or any reason other than that Geraldine Evans liked the idea of connecting her two children to each other. She was always glad they were born so close in age because she never had any siblings and wished for a sister for a best friend. The girls’ closeness growing up delighted her, at least until it ended with a letter in green ink, carried by a bird.

Four lends itself neatly to division, and it was true enough for the Evans family, Lily her father’s daughter and Petunia all their mother’s. This is true in appearance as much as personality: Lily’s looks are from the Evans side of the family, she shares her red hair with her father and both are more heavily built, while Petunia looks more like their mother - pale hair and bony features.

But at first, there was no problem, not for any of them. Lily was the fearless one, climbing trees and playing in the mud – but Petunia did it all with her, too. That was the thing – the part Lily cannot forget. Petunia always followed her, despite not caring for dirt and mud mess, and Lily worshipped her for it.

Meanwhile, Geraldine was cloying, clingy, she tried to hold on hard to her girls, even Lily, who would disappear to a world she could not know. Adrian was quieter, stiller – Lily could always come to him. It’s easier now, when she has so much to hide from her family, barely seeing them, desperate to keep them from danger or any association with her. She avoids going home, missing her family, but struggling under the weight of the lies, as she tries to keep any knowledge of the war from them. Adrian asks much less of Lily. The downside to that, of course, is that he lets her slip away. Though generally seen as having taken after her father, Lily has something of her mother’s nature, too, something shared with Petunia. She can never let things go, her heart is one that holds on. To the good and the bad.  

OCCUPATION:

Lily always wanted to become a Potioneer, brewing potions was her favourite subject and the part of magic she liked most, even if she was never as talented as Severus. She liked the fact that potions took brains more than it took magic, that it used hands, not a wand. But, with a war going on around her, it seemed decidedly less than useful. She became a Healer Trainee instead, thinking she would be in the best position to help others and to learn important spells she might use to save those in the Order at a time of crisis. The problem was that Lily was never truly dedicated to this role. Yes, many victims of the Death Eaters came into the hospital, but it was rarely the case that Trainee Healers were entrusted with cases of Dark magic. Lily was mostly fixing the accidental magic mishaps underage wixen got themselves into - dull and draining work. Even more than that, her higher loyalty was always to the Order, the war remaining her priority. Lily had less and less time to study the healing magic she needed for her job, focusing far more of her energy on missions for the Order, to the extent she even missed shifts at times. It only got worse as she began working with the Task Force - finding something she was truly passionate about meant she kept even less time for her Healing studies. She wasn’t exactly fired, but it became clear that she was not performing to the required level and had to leave the program. Even though she was hardly happy at the hospital, this fact burns. Lily Evans, who was supposed to have such a bright future. The failure is a blemish on her record, yet another thing that has gone wrong in her life since leaving Hogwarts, yet another way she seems to be incapable of living up to the image everyone has of her.

As it is, she works solely for the Order now and lives off James’ money. This fact too is something that weighs Lily down, that she can never stop thinking about. She never wanted to be dependent on him, on anyone. Sure, she didn’t make much as a Trainee Healer, couldn’t contribute her fair share to their home, but at least she had something of her own. It’s something at the back of her mind whenever she is with James.

ROLE WITHIN THE ORDER/THOUGHTS ABOUT THE ORDER:

Lily has a desire to impress, she always had. Somehow surrounding herself with rebels, all of them heedless and reckless in her eyes, though very much loved for it - she herself respected authority. That is, if the authority deserved to be respected. Sometimes it crosses her mind, the fact that she, of all people, is technically a vigilante, and she can only laugh. A bitter, somewhat frightened laugh, but with hints of amusement all the same. There are still people she can look to for the approval she craves in the Order – she respects Moody, Shacklebolt, Dumbledore. And she believes in them, in the path they’re setting out for all of them, but … it gets harder and harder every day.

Perhaps that’s why the Task Force means so much to her. It’s palpable success, it’s a way to actually help people, to see the results before them. Especially the Muggle-borns – the people who, like herself, are caught up in something that threatens to overwhelm them, who deserve to have someone stand up for them and affirm their (her) right to be in this world. Fighting (and often losing) endless battles with the Death Eaters, missions that seem to go nowhere, do nothing, even if there is supposedly some greater scheme – Lily feels herself breaking the longer it goes on, the less light there seems to be at the end of this long drawn out struggle. She knew it wasn’t going to be over in a year – but knowing that, and living it, are two very different things.

This wasn’t supposed to be her life. Failed job. Failed war. And now more than ever, failed relationships. This was never supposed to be Lily, who everyone thinks of as a bright spark, as hope and kindness personified. It’s hard to let go of, that image, the perfect Lily Evans, something she clung to when she was reminded of her sister’s hate, of half the wizarding world’s hate. But she isn’t a bright spark, or at least, she doesn’t feel that way. Not anymore.  

SURVIVAL:

To be honest, Lily often feels her survival is a matter of her inconsequentiality. At Hogwarts, things seemed different. She was a bold symbol, the Muggle-born Head Girl, bright and clever and beloved. Practically a spit in the face to anyone who thought Muggle-borns were inferior – and there were plenty of students who showed her their displeasure. Lily faced them all proudly, though James’ support was something she depended upon, taking strength from the knowledge that he had her back, no matter who else despised her. She felt like she was making a difference. Now, even as an Order member – what’s she really doing for the war? That importance she used to have, it’s faded away now. She’s not especially successful, she’s not especially threatening or powerful … that doesn’t mean Lily isn’t careful, of course. Her home with James is well-protected and Lily takes Alastor Moody’s warnings very seriously. Constant vigilance indeed. But at the end of the day, there are times Lily thinks … she simply doesn’t matter. Not outside of being James Potter’s mudblood girlfriend, at any rate.

RELATIONSHIPS: 

Lily loves James, but she knows things are strained between them. Lily’s relationships are deeply characterised by respect – she is someone who cannot be happy with someone, even if she loves them, unless she can respect them. That hasn’t changed with James, she still admires him almost more than anyone else, for his strength and dedication, his idealistic nature. Most days, Lily thinks it’s her who is the problem. Nothing she does lately seems to be working out and this is no different. She knows he’s starting to catch on to her unhappiness and she wants to reach out, to tell him she hasn’t stopped caring for him, but something stops her. Maybe it’s just that sense of hopelessness, of burning out, the fear that she isn’t the person she once was anymore. How could he understand that – he’s never been anything but himself, never had to be afraid to be himself, never failed, and right now, he’s in the thick of it, the inner circle – of course he is. Everything has always come easy to James, born to success and brilliant in his own right.  It seems as if their paths after school are inverse, he with all the accomplishments (so high up in the Order, so trusted) and she with none. Even if he did fail, he wouldn’t be like her. The Muggle-born out of place, the Muggle-born who has failed to make her place in the Wizarding world (all those snide voices at the back of her mind – of course she was going to fail. Don’t they always? They don’t belong). She can’t talk to him about any of this. It’s easier to dedicate herself to the Task Force instead – but James doesn’t seem to understand that either.

Friendships have become more difficult than ever. It’s still easy to put her life into anyone in the Order’s hands. She trusts them with that. But Lily feels more isolated than ever. Hardly anyone seems to remember what they’re fighting for – to save people. To save lives. It’s all become about who is right and who is wrong (Lily forgetting that she too thinks of herself as right and the others as wrong). The people she would trust with her life feel less like friends the further they go into this war together. And yet Lily cannot stop reaching out, even to the friends who seem to greet her with distaste these days, disliking her priorities. Lily will always believe that friendship is important, that tenderness is important. It can’t be true that they are only soldiers these days, and nothing else.

With Severus coming to the Order, Lily will remain deeply conflicted. For so many years, a sign like this, that he was definitively, absolutely choosing her, siding with her, would have meant everything. But as so often with getting the thing you want most, by the time you get it, you can barely recognise it. Lily may well be more suspicious than anyone else, if only because she has been through this before. The desperation to trust him meeting with her deep suspicion that this is just another lie, that she never really knew him at all.

OOC EXPLORATION:

SHIPS/ANTI-SHIPS: 

Lily/James, Lily/Chemistry (I very much love writing Lily/James but that doesn’t mean I’m not open to exploring other things or exploring Lily/James in an untypical form. Chemistry is important, and one thing I find very interesting in this rp is the conflict and break down of relationships. On the other side, platonic relationships are very important to me, especially since we know so little of the friendships Lily had, I find them fascinating to develop and deconstruct.)

WHAT PRIVILEGES AND BIASES DOES YOUR CHARACTER HAVE?

I would say Lily’s strongest bias is essentially tunnel vision. She has always tended to believe she knows right and wrong – and that her understanding of right and wrong is what is right and wrong. When it comes to things like the war, she utterly condemns those who choose to fight for the other side – and even, to an extent, those who remain neutral. While she tries to be accepting of it, that not everyone can fight, that people are torn by conflicting loyalties, that it may not be life or death for everyone, she can’t truly understand or respect how anyone could make that choice. Furthermore, she believes what she prioritises is most important. The more she turns to the Task Force, the less she will be able to understand how the others in the Order can so easily dismiss it.

Another bias is against dark magic, which she believes is wrong without exception and looks down on those who use it. This also extends to dark creatures – notably excluding werewolves, due to her long friendship with Remus Lupin (she also tends to be quite biased in favour of those she loves), but creatures such as Dementors, hags, vampires, giants, she tends to regard with fear and disgust. Her boggart would be a Lethifold - another Dark creature, highly aggressive and tending to attack people at night, as they sleep. It symbolises her fear of being defenceless and unable to act to protect those she loves, as well as her deep fear of Dark magic.

For privileges, obviously she lacks privilege in the wizarding world as a Muggle-born and is notably a target of the current war. I would say that lack of privilege is certainly something that spurs her on to protect others. She certainly resents the way she is treated by others and devalued simply for her birth. It’s something that colours her relationship with James – it’s not his fault, but she knows others look down on them being together. They might both well be better off if they weren’t together, in fact, being together makes them a target. As a witch of two worlds, Lily would also be aware of the fact that her privilege is very different in the Muggle world, being white. It’s interesting that in her relationship with James, the privilege would be reversed in the Muggle world. And in fact, Vernon and Petunia’s treatment of James suggests this very personally for Lily, and is something that angers her, yet at the same time, she does want to regain a good relationship with her sister.

WHAT ARE YOU MOST LOOKING FORWARD TO? 

There are a lot of aspects I find appealing – I like the way this rp uses multiple player threads so paras involve more than just two characters. It’s something I haven’t seen elsewhere and I find compelling for exploring the whole tapestry of the Order and how the organisation interacts with each other. The focus on the Order also appeals to me – I’m typically far more interested in ‘the good guys’ and especially in exploring the flaws and weaknesses of ‘the good guys’. Lily for one is presented as fairly saintlike in canon and it’s so interesting to deconstruct that image and find out about the real person she was, flaws, warts and all.

PLOT DROP IDEAS (OPTIONAL): N/A for the moment

ANYTHING ELSE? Nothing, thanks for considering me!