#Or set a boundary?

[litnerdwrites]

Why do the IC of Feyre expect Nesta to play house with them when they can't respect her boundary with Solstice? She told Feyre it wasn't 'their holiday', which already makes it clear that she's uninterested in adapting to fae traditions. It's not a personal insult, it's a boundary that makes complete sense.

Solstice is a religious holiday, where you thank the mother, or whatever. Given that The Mother seems to come in tandem with The Cauldron, not wanting to celebrate it after what they went through makes complete sense. Now that I think about it, Feyre spends ACOMAF being mad that Tamlin and Ianthe did this to her; Forced her into uncomfortable social situations with people she didn't want to be around.

To Nesta, it's Feyre's birthday but nothing more, in which case, Feyre could've invited Nesta to a brunch with her and Elain. Nesta literally invited them to eat with her, but Feyre said no. If they had a conversation, I'm sure that they would've found a place to eat together that suited all of the, even if it was just at Nesta's apartment, or a day when the town house was empty. Or maybe one of Rhysand's other six houses.

There were so many work arounds that would respect Nesta's boundaries, probably go farther to helping her heal, and been fun for all of them. A win win situation.

Besides, if you invited someone to your celebration of a religious holiday, and they said 'no' out of respect for their own culture, religion, traditions, or just because they didn't want to, wouldn't you just accept the answer and move on?

On top of all this, Cassian through a temper tantrum the moment Nesta rejected his gift. Dude, if you used all that intelligence you supposedly have as a General, you'd realise what the issue is.

[annasanthology]

[inkskinned]

you tried everything. you tried relationship check-ins and using positive thinking. you tried modelling healthy coping strategies and printing out pages of cognitive behavioral therapy tricks. you tried relationship podcasts and audiobooks and posts on instagram. you tried steamrolling your own emotions and making yourself into a fractal of a person. you tried ripping out your own hair and you tried to feed from your own stomach. you tried setting boundaries - and when that failed, you tried to be okay with broken boundaries.

you tried explaining, over and over and over. you tried long-winded texts that delicately apologized and took accountability; you tried short and earnest apologies that directly confronted the issue. you tried letting them apologize first - and when that didn't work at all, you tried to delicately explain you needed their apology.

you tried, because you really thought they could change. sometimes, if you caught them in the right moment - they even seemed willing. they would nod and agree to try therapy (eventually) or try calming techniques (eventually) or try safe communication practices (eventually) or try -

and you feel like a fool, because you gave them so much grace about it, and that's how things got so bad for so long. you were being patient and kind and willing. you gave them time. you promised yourself that next week, they'd be better. next week, they'd be the partner you needed. next week, they'd be there for you. they'd finally see all the effort and love and trying! and as some kind of divine reward, why, they'd finally -

the whole time your boundaries shifted and swam. since you were being patient with them, you started taking barely-there token actions as being "enough." okay, they didn't really apologize, but even the use of the words "i'm sorry" was enough! okay, they didn't support you through grief, but afterwards they seemed guilty about that and offered to buy you sushi. wasn't that all good enough? isn't love about growth and bringing the other person up with you?

so when you finally broke about this and finally decided to run: well, you had expected to be ruined. you had cried in the shower picturing it. and instead. instead. you were suddenly, coldly, wildly - done.

[flora-tea]

Actually, no.

You don't owe your parents/guardians anything for raising you.

You don't owe them in-laws.

You don't owe them grandkids.

You don't owe them favors.

It's your life!

You decide how you want to live it.

You decide what you want or don't want in your life.

[iliothermia]

Shana Tova!!! May your enemies, haters, and those who wish evil upon you be cut off. The blessing for the leek has always felt resonant but this year it's been on my mind a lot. For me at least, 5785 is a year of practicing healthy boundaries and taking care of myself - even if I have to run on spite. I hope everyone has a safe Rosh Hashanah ❤️

[margecouture]

setting boundaries with yourself ☁️

setting boundaries with yourself is an important aspect of self-care and personal growth. here’s how setting boundaries with yourself looks like:

having a bedtime. having a consistent bedtime is crucial for improved sleep quality which leads to better sleep and more restful nights. this also creates routine and structure which can be comforting and beneficial to managing daily responsibilities more effectively. regular sleep helps maintain energy levels, preventing the afternoon slump and reducing the need for caffeine. so, find a helpful bedtime routine to get settled in and get a good nights sleep around the same time each night.

not believing all thoughts as truth. remember that THOUGHTS ARE NOT FACTS, so accepting every thought as truth can lead to distorted perceptions which leads to mental fog or an unhealthy mental state. when negative thoughts arise, practice mindfulness by meditating or journaling. question your thoughts by asking yourself “what evidence do I have for this thought?”. identify those thinking patterns and remember that thoughts are like clouds passing through the sky—temporary and ever-changing.

eating foods that make you feel good. junk food may taste sweet and look good but they aren’t healthy for your body in any way. use mindful eating by paying attention to how different foods make you feel & avoid foods those that leave you feeling sluggish or uncomfortable. eating foods that are rich in nutrients like omega-3 fatty acids, vitamins and minerals can improve your mood and mental clarity. this includes, salmon, leafy greens, and berries. healthy snacks such as, fruits, vegetables, nuts, seeds, and popcorn are helpful when facing cravings. remember to plan your meals, stay hydrated, and maintain balance.

doing hard things in the moment to create your desired future. doing hard things in the moment is like planting seeds for your future. tackling challenges head on allows you to develop skills, gain resilience, and learn discipline. it’s like building the foundation for your own dreams and setting your own self up for success. by handling what’s in front of you, you are preparing yourself for bigger opportunities and making the most of them when they come. picture your desired future as a beautiful garden that requires dedication and hard work, but it is necessary for your garden to bloom.

sticking to your word. keeping your word is crucial in building trust and reliability. this makes it easy for people to rely on you but also for you to rely on yourself. you set a standard for yourself which encourages discipline, self control and commitment. having confidence in what you are set out to do helps you to grow as an individual. as the saying goes, “Follow your plan, not your mood.” stay committed to your plans and goals and always give it your best. you only fail if you don’t try, no matter how small or how big the task may be.

setting boundaries with yourself is an act of self respect and is about creating habits that align with your long term wellbeing, even when they feel difficult in the moment. each step builds a stronger and more aligned version of you. keep honoring yourself! ☁️

[queeraliensposts]

When you talk about a toxic masculinity problem amongst the Transmasc community, you're talking about trans men not wanting to be called "girl", "queen" etc.

When I talk about a toxic masculinity problem amongst the Transmasc community, I'm talking about cringe culture, and bullying.

We are not the same.

[inkedinserendipity]

POV you’re art and your bestest most specialest SecUnit goes “hey can you make a copy of me specifically to die” and you go “that’s an awful idea” and it goes “no fuck you it’s a great idea also you asked something to send to die so you can have me” and you shout “i didn’t mean you!” and it goes “stop yelling at me” which is maybe the first time it’s verbally pushed back on mistreatment in its life so you go entirely quiet because you are so so angry with it but also you can’t yell at it because it asked you not to

and then you send out the copy of it anyway to save your crew, and it saves your crew and another SecUnit and also itself

and then it dies

[positivelypresent]

Some sentences to help you set boundaries!

[luxuryandlilacs]

Suffering is not a virtue.

[annasanthology]

[l0st-files]

[flwrkid14]

You Don't Get to Call Yourself Family (Tim Drake is a Fenton)

part 1 , part 2

It starts with another of Dick’s attempts to be Tim’s Big Brother™.

It’s well-meaning, of course. They’re mid-patrol, crouched on a rooftop, when Dick gently brings it up.

“You know, Tim, we could be family if you’d just let us.”

Tim freezes for a moment, his grip tightening on his grappling gun. But then he exhales, forces himself to focus, and mutters: “I told you. You’re coworkers. That’s it.”

But Dick doesn’t drop it. And when they return to the Cave, the rest of the Batfamily piles on—each in their own way.

Jason: “C’mon, Replacement. Admit it. We’re at least kinda family.”

Damian, sneering: “He’s too much of a coward to acknowledge it.”

Bruce, quiet but insistent: “Tim, this is your home. We are your family.”

And Tim—who’s been holding this in for years—finally snaps.

“Family?!” Tim’s voice echoes through the Cave, sharp and brittle like glass about to shatter. “You think you’re my family?!”

Everyone goes still.

Tim takes a step forward, fury radiating off him in waves. “Let me ask you something—what kind of family depends on a thirteen-year-old to pull their grieving father out of the abyss because no one else could be bothered? What kind of family calls him Replacement and then beats him bloody because he’s not good enough?!”

Jason flinches, but Tim doesn’t stop.

“What kind of family tries to kill him multiple times and laughs it off like it’s a fucking joke?” His eyes land on Damian, who looks like he wants to argue but doesn’t. “And what kind of family stands by and watches it happen and does nothing?!”

The silence is deafening.

Tim’s breath hitches, and he rakes a hand through his hair. “If you’re family, then why—why the hell did you all hurt me so much?”

No one can look him in the eye. Not even Bruce.

Tim’s voice drops, tired and cracked. “I can’t call you family. Because if I did, I’d have to accept that my family treated me like shit. And I already have one family, that loves me—I don’t need another one that makes me feel like I’m nothing.”

He turns on his heel, heading for the exit. “You’re my coworkers. That’s all you’ll ever be, and honestly? It's more than you deserve.”

And then he’s gone.

————

Later, Jazz calls him.

“You okay, Timmers?” she asks gently, voice soft in that way only Jazz can manage.

Tim sighs, rubbing his eyes. “Yeah. I just… lost it at them. Finally told them off.”

Jazz hums thoughtfully. “Good. They needed to hear it.”

Tim doesn’t respond right away, staring at the faint glow of the Batcomputer across the Cave. “Do you think I was too harsh?”

Jazz doesn’t hesitate. “No. You set a boundary. They’ve been pushing it for years. Let them sit with it for a while.”

Tim doesn’t know if he believes her, but he nods anyway. “Thanks, Jazz.”

“Always,” she replies. “Now come home for dinner. Mom’s trying a new ectoplasm casserole recipe, and Danny is threatening to ‘accidentally’ destroy the kitchen again.”

He laughs, already grabbing his things. “Be there in ten.”

[iliothermia]

[veilspun]

my beloved darling girl lena whom i love very much

[adviceformefromme]

This is the year of creating new standards for how people show up for you. You’re creating a new standard for what you accept. Let that man be who he is, but not with you. Raise the bar. You are no longer a women that allows bottom of the barrel treatment. When men come around you they need to come correct, and that is the standard you get to set. You hold that power. There are no tears this year from men hurting you, and leading you on because you’re not even allowing space for those type of relationships to be entertained. You are wise. The bible says be wise as a serpent, but as innocent as doves. Stop playing dumb. You already learnt these lessons. You know better. Use your wisdom. Be crystal clear on your boundaries, so when the next man (test) comes along you already know your weak spots, you already know the repetitive lesson that keep showing up, and you’re ready to step up your game. But of course you want it to be easy, you want it to flow. But that's the energy that’s allowed these men to trample all over your heart, and guess who's left picking up the pieces? The cost is too high. Those months, years, even lifetimes wasted on toxic relationships because you didn’t learn how to set boundaries. It started with your conditioning, it started with the abuse you had to endure and accept. But that season has past, so now it’s time to re-condition yourself. You have the power to do this, to re-programme. Understand what you will allow, and what you will not. Study your past relationships and where you slipped up. Because you WILL be tested, and until you pass the test you will be stuck on this hamster wheel of being involved with men who are not your peace. Practise how you want to feel. Practise feeling those elevated emotions, practise the feeling of safety in a relationship. Of being with a man that consistently shows up for you, practise the feeling of having a man that supports you and wants to help you. How does that feel? Do you even know what that feels like? This is the work. You dive deep into yourself, into your blind spots, so they can no longer blind you. You become the wise serpent. You show up better, because what is the alternative really? Another year of sleepless nights because he’s not messaging you back, another relationship where you are over pouring and feel drained? This is not the energy. This is the year of change. This is the year you become the rose with the thorns.

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