#and the one that goes into immediate killer mode without thinking about it

[harleybarbarahandler]

im literally in love with the little cackle that harley does every so often in birds of prey… like it’s the cutest most unhinged laugh and it’s adorable

[ckret2]

How is bill alive right now? And i dont mean how he came back after stanley killed him, i mean how have town mobs not already torn his limbs off

The only thing keeping him alive is the fact that the town doesn't know he exists.

As soon as the Pines learn Bill's still alive (and have stopped him from, like, trying to murder them), Ford goes into Maximum Paranoia Mode. They HAVE to keep Bill contained, and they have to do it THEMSELVES. The rest of the family falls in with his logic pretty quickly.

If they let anyone else know about him? Worst case scenario, a mob DOES slaughter him, and they all discover that Bill's flesh prison was the only thing preventing him from unleashing Weirdmageddon again. Best case scenario, the town handles this like civilized people, and Bill's transported to the county jail—where he can't be monitored by the Pines, Local Bill Cipher Experts, and where he's surrounded by people who know that he's powerful but don't know just what a slick manipulator he can be. So he's staying IN the Shack, he is NOT allowed in the basement, and nobody tells anyone anything.

Bill—who also doesn't know what will happen if he's killed (and fears he'll Die For Real) and who frankly thinks he has better odds of escaping a family of children and old men whose weaknesses he's intimately familiar with—decides to go along with this plan rather than force their hand by revealing his identity to outsiders. On the condition that he's allowed to walk around the shack—if they lock him up, he's shrieking like a dying hitchhiker in a serial killer's car until someone comes investigating, and then they'll get to risk the consequences together, won't they?

So as far as the town is concerned, "Goldie" is the Mystery Shack's new reclusive part-time summer employee. Most guests are tourists and suspect nothing. If any locals start to think something's unsettlingly familiar about "Goldie," the Shack staff is quick to suggest they might be thinking of their last "employee" named Goldie—hey, did you wanna see him again? Stan's still got the ol' mechanical prospector in a closet somewhere, they'll just have to take his wedding dress off— And that shuts down most inquiries pretty fast.

While Bill's willing to play along, he's still happy to use the locals' ignorance to his advantage to try to get a little more freedom. (He's invited to an LGBT social club, because the locals immediately peg him as gnc af (they do not call him "gnc af." They call him "Woooee, bet you anything that one's queerer'n a three-dollar bill!" - Deputy Durland), and once Bill loudly says, "Why, sure, I'd LOVE to come!" there's no way the Pines can go "NO YOU DON'T" without revealing, to the police, that they're keeping him prisoner, and having to explain why. And that's how the Pines family ends up having a very serious discussion about which one of them is going to pretend to be queer and/or come out to the town so that Bill won't be unsupervised.)

The upside to making social plans so the Pines are forced to let him have day trips on the outside is that it gives Bill more opportunities to find allies and a safe escape route; the downside is that he can't prance around in a top hat and a hoodie shaped like himself, for fear the first person to glimpse his silhouette out of the corner of their eye will instantly realize who he is. Sometimes it's easier to pass up opportunities to go outside just so he can stay home safely wrapped in his own skin.

So, thus far, nobody outside the Shack knows anything.

(It won't last forever. Stanford's itching to tell Fiddleford, Dipper's dying to warn Wendy—and above all else, Soos knows.)

[thewickedbohemian]

Thoughts on a show that deserves to not have this end its run and a show that can carry CBS's Blue Sky torch while the former hopefully makes it to another network

So Help Me Todd

ok where are they

boy is Todd a fish out of water

nice to see you two again

Never noticed the logo's a nest before

Hi Judy from seemingly out of nowhere nice to know they're continually dating not just one

ok where'd everybody go

ADHD's worst nightmare, reception

As if Margaret needs more on her plate Allison

OK Beverly sounding like a GoT character

hi suits, hi potential setup

nice multitasking and nice trick

Wright vs Easton

OK gay Tyle moment and Pitch Perfect reference

not Lyle getting an Elliot Spencer moment of accidental fame

anyone else think Margaret might be autistic

no no no triggering phobias

Todd how much phone shenanigans have you been doing

So Judy is Todd's Todd, cute

We're just bringing out all the returning faces

Gus goes dad mode on his gf

getting a little bit of Librarians vibes with the trio working together

Esp. because Judy knows multiple languages

metaphorically-RIP Francey

Answer the phone Margaret

this smells like a setup

good standing up for yourself Allison

cue ending montage proving why we should have a S3; Jodd kiss, senior associate Susan, detective!Allison in the future etc.

not as dangerous a cliffhanger as I was expecting but still something that means we deserve more seasons to have answers

Elsbeth

ok so alcohol snobs now (why are we always investigating rich people's cases here)

writer girl's cute

some of their talk feels like it codas the SHMT that just ended

mom had almost that kind of roommate

taking matters into his own hands I see

would the real Gemma Nelson please stand up, we're gonna have a problem here

I love that both SHMT and Elsbeth had bribery framing metaplots

Elsbeth playing with everything again

Bejeweled breast pumps no thanks

that looks like the cutest mocktail I've ever seen

whatcha doin with your shoes

still think Claudia's the real mastermind

nice unintentional foreshadowing (or at least dramatic-ironic foreshadowing) with the bartender thing

Joe feels like the most sympathetic killer and Gemma the most unsympathetic victim this show's ever had

the random acts of kindness shit (though not to lethal levels obviously) reminds me of stuff my sister used to do in a club at her high school

Ivy's too obvious a red herring even without the dramatic irony

No Broadway reference so far I'm surprised unless Deborah S. Craig counts (as she's half of what counted in E3)

Cue everyone immediately trying to make that mocktail (he listed the ingredients it's a matter of ratios)

I would think the story about bullying's a lie except Teddy's gay

and Joe's superhero complex suddenly got scary

One sting another sting

And Captain Wagner pulls a Todd

Weirdest Elsbeth outfit ever and ending you'd expect of a season finale when it's not

[tmntxthings]

Here you have the copy pasted discussion of “Blood is thicker than contaminated water”

>Them< = https://www.tumblr.com/freestyle-crocodile-trashpile

(Me) = https://www.tumblr.com/shegairowmyamo

[Anon] = someone

(Me)

Not a request but do you remember that one ask that was about the rottmnt brothers reacting to finding out they had a fifth brother? Yah as wholesome as that was what if instead of Draxum treating his son like a son he treated him like a weapon, mentolly and physically scar him to be the perfect killing machine. It would be like looking in a mirror for the brothers, he laughs at others misery, can create weapons, is cocky with his skills and is somewhat stronger than the average joe. But all that dissipates when Draxum is present. And replacing it is a manufactured killer.

>Them<

Oh my, that sounds so cool. Why didn't I think of that?

(Me)

Oof, imagine if he decided that his brothers were just too fun to kill so he lets them win but not without hurting them a little. But due to his decrease in successful missions Draxum decides to punish him by puting a shock collar around his neck, so if he fails three times in a row or his performance isn't to Draxum standards he will get shocked. Breaking that stone cold facade and revealing that scared lonely boy for an agonizing half minute, and after the display of weakness he's ushered to his room, void of anything a tenager could occupy themselves with.

>Them<

Ouch that's just sad 😭

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(Me)

More on that one idea.

I feel like if his brothers ever get in real trouble he will step in, the brothers' adversary would be confused obviously, but it isn't till they mock him about how they are gonna beat him too is when he reacts. And at that moment the brothers realized just how much he had been holding back on them, he tore at a particularly fleshy part with his weapon tearing it to shreds letting the blood splatter all over his face. The deafening sound was broken by Mikey's whimper, the hunchback turtle looked at his brothers. His smile brimmed with glee, but his eyes told a different story.

Also I personally headcanon for this brother to be a eastern hermann tortoise and that his main weapon is a pair of two iron claws.

>Them<

This is super cool, like omg it's amazing 👏

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[Anon]

Hi, I saw the fifth brother discussion and wanted to put in a thought. Imagine when the bros try to show him affection, he immediately thinks it's an attack. Like he just enters attack mode when they try to pay him on the head to say good job. And he grabs the hand and throw them. One of the turtles say they were being showed 'love and affection' and fifth brother goes into a rant saying 'Love is when your fighting till you can't stand! Love is weakness! Goes to show how Lou Jitzu failed you all

>Them<

Oh dang, 😳 but yeah that'd make sense.

(Me)

I like where this anons heades at, I've also been thinking about what would happen after he got released from Draxum's abusive grasp and into the family. Like the anon said he would be very apprehensive at first with all the physical touches and praise, though i think he would break down in front of Splinter due to him actually treating him like a son. After that he'd try to be more open but he's not good with words, he shows his emotions through his actions, like the time Raph tried to pat him on the back and he snatched his hand out of instinct. The realization in his eyes that this is not his enemy told Raph enough.

(Me)

Dude do you know what would be even sadder? His first instinct to being yelled at is to put up that cold facade, because mentaly he's back with his “father”, when in reality Raph is scolding him for doing something reckless.

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Some scrap headcanons for the lil ruckus:

He can retract his claws and un sheath them at will.

He likes to call himself Terra, like terracotta.

Fought in Big Mamas battle nexus before working for Draxum, so he's got the mindset that every fight must end in murder.

His bandhan is wight, or used to be, Terra doesn't bother with washing it so it's stained with years of bloodshed.

His skin has a dirty yellow gradient to it while his shell has the texture of sand lined with dark ponty crescent moons facing upwards.

He's 15 years old and very smug about it despite there not being much to be smug about.

After he got into the family he started wearing things around his neck to cover the scars from being shocked.

Contrary to popular beliefs he doesn't have a mystic weapon, he can beat your ass to a pulp without one.

WOW!

where do I even start, I really think Like Father, Like Son (LFLS) is quite similar if you haven’t read that you definitely should! The only big difference is that instead of a fifth sibling, it’s Leo

I think a lot of people like the what-ifs a fifth sibling brings esp if they have gone through a travesty, the whole Draxum plot just makes sense, he wanted to use the turtles to take over the humans, his plans got thwarted by Lou Jitsu, what if Draxum had another turtle??

I rlly like Terra’s development, im so glad he ends up getting to see the power of family and love, poor dude went through a lot!

Differences between Terra and the sibling!reader (I’m just going to say y/n since and saying sibling!reader is quite long) in Lost & Found :

y/n is 13 years old while Terra is 15

y/n wears a black bandanna while Terra’s starts off with white (becomes bloody)

y/n has a mystic weapon (tantō/short sword) when activated they become engulfed in what looks like a black shadow and basically has super speed, Terra does not use a mystic weapon, instead has iron claws (real claws retractable?)

y/n has shell scars/cracks, Terra has neck scars

y/n is a diamondback terrapin, Terra is a eastern hermann tortoise

I also believe they have slightly different personalities but this was reallyyyy cool to read, thank you so much for sharing!!! if you do make a au where both of them meet I would love to read it c:

[togglesbloggle]

On Soldiers

You don’t hear “politics is the mind killer” as a refrain quite so often these days, and there‘s been some great analysis about the (real) weaknesses of that particular maxim.  But I do think that it was and is an important part of the ratspace secret sauce.  As time goes on, I’m getting more and more used to seeing people sort of… drop off, in a particular way.  They stop being as interesting, stop thinking as clearly, express more anger and less curiosity.  I’ve been half-jokingly calling it ‘Twitter poisoning,’ although that‘s way too narrow a diagnosis.  But its (relative) absence in these parts is more precious to me now than ever.

If we have half-retired “politics is the mind killer,” one thing I’ll try to keep in my own head is a related (if a bit softer) warning along the lines of: ”you can’t think about your enemies too often without becoming a warrior.”  Causal, not just tautological.  And when warriors fight nations, they become something else.  When our enemies are classes, demographics, or political parties, we’re not just warriors any more- we’re soldiers.

The particular failure mode I see doesn’t come from proposing solutions to political problems, thinking hard about political systems, or even arguing for partisan ideas as such.  It‘s that pivot where it stops being about the ideas, stops being about the goals, and where the most real thing about the struggle is the people you’re doing it against.  You know what I mean, I think- we’ve all seen those particular political spaces where every third post or comment is about Them.  What fraction of us, when we read about some human rights violation or tragedy, immediately ask ourselves whether it will give us rhetorical power over our enemies, or vice versa?

That’s wartime thinking, straight up.  Making war is not an absolute moral failure, mind you.  Sometimes politics really is an existential, overriding concern, and sometimes the tragic existence of soldiers is justified.  But it doesn’t stop being tragedy.  Even when combat is mostly nonlethal, it still represents a colossal loss of intelligence and effort to zero-sum contests.  And one of the quintessential things about warriors is, they tend to start wars.

That’s the thing, right?  The fundamental, game-theoretical, catch-22 fuck of it all.  The reason to have soldiers is because They have soldiers, and might start a war.  And if They don’t have soldiers, then by gum we should get some and tell ‘em to start a war on our terms because we’ll definitely win it.  That’s the cold reality of what happens as your enemies become more and more salient: conflict becomes your reality, and you will become a part of the ritual that summons that conflict.  The strife you embody will have many uses for your human intelligence- it’ll reward cleverness, maybe even artistry of a sort.  But it will not be generative; it will take much from us, and give nothing.

The soldier’s counter-argument is: but they have soldiers.  And the soldier’s argument is correct.  But the soldier’s argument doesn’t tell you how to feel about that double-bind.  And what I say to the soldier's argument is: okay, but we need to cultivate a hatred for war.  Actually, really, hate it.  Not ostentatiously, but in our bones.  Not the way we hate email, but the way we hate death.  Let it be vile, disgusting, small.  And even more so, if you yourself are a warrior.

This is not a call for centrism.  I am an extremist in some ways, in step with the partisan conflicts of my times in some ways, grossly out of step with them in others.  Transhumanism is a hell of a drug, politically speaking.  It is, sort of, an argument for liberalism and maybe federalism, since those things have a way of making politics less existential, more often.  But mostly I think it’s an argument in favor of the things that liberalism and federalism make possible- the opportunity to let your philosophy become your way of living, and to let the consequences of that life demonstrate, without coercion, the virtues of your philosophy.

The social media age has been so bad for us on this count, turning so many of us into warriors and soldiers.  But it’s phenomenally good for this other thing, too.  “Here’s what it means to be me, here’s the life I’ve built and the joys I’ve found.”  That’s at the core of what we’re all doing here, online.  And at this point I would say it goes beyond personal satisfaction.  There’s an argument that it’s valuable in the larger sum, even morally compelling.  Everyone I’ve ever met has something to show off, something to brag about- some little corner of the world they’ve cultivated and made beautiful.  And so at least in your own little garden, you’ve got this excellent chance to replace the scorched-earth conflict with a bazaar of strange, wonderful, interesting lives.

[fanficimagery]

Misery Business pt. I

Imagine moving in with the Molina's after an incident back home. Instead of being angry, you realize this is your second chance to be truly happy and you really hope it goes better than your first attempt.

Words: 6.1K Author's Note: I'm a sucker for three idiot ghost boys which is why I'm back, only in this imagine everyone is alive. Yes that includes Rose Molina as well :) Soulmate!AU too so have fun with that. FYI, Y/N will be "musically talented" but since I can't write music to save my life then "Y/N's music" will come from a little band that goes by the name of Paramore and by James Arthur.

Julie and three of her best guy friends are in the family studio outside, writing and jamming and just having the time of their life. Alex, Reggie, and Luke are about two years older than Julie, but the boys overlooked the teeny tiny age gap because her killer voice was exactly what their band was missing. The entire high school knew exactly who the boys of Sunset Curve were so they were all surprised when they took sophomore Julie Molina under their wing and rebranded their band.

Julie's family was very supportive of her music, especially her mother Rose, and she let Julie and the boys use her studio whenever they wanted so long as they all kept up their grades. They're usually left alone when Julie and Luke are in writing mode, so it's a bit of a surprise to see Ray and Rose entering the studio.

Alex is the first to notice them, nudging Reggie and gesturing to Mr. and Mrs. Molina, and then Reggie tosses a pillow at Luke's head to get his attention. Luke's rather rude remark is on the tip of his tongue, but his eyes widen upon seeing Julie's parents.

"Jules. Julie!" He hisses. "Your mom and dad are here."

"Hmm. What?" Julie finally looks away from her journal, her eyes widening before a beaming smile breaks out. "Mami! Papi. What brings you two here?"

"Hey mija," Ray says. "Can we talk real quick?"

"Of course!"

She glances at the boys and they're quick to start packing up, but Ray gestures for them to stay put. "It's okay, boys. You can stay for this."

Rose smiles. "After all, you are family too."

Every time Rose or Ray mention that the boys are family, they can't help but smile goofily. None of the boys have the type of relationship with their parents that Julie has with hers, so they're all grateful the Molina's accept them as if they were a Molina as well. Julie smiles as the boys, who are all practically older brothers to her, gather around her and Luke to hear what's going on.

On his way further into the studio, Ray grabs a chair for Rose and she takes a seat while Ray stands behind her, gripping the back of her chair. "Okay," he exhales a little roughly, "so you know the drama your cousin went through a few months ago?"

Julie frowns. "Yeah."

"Well it seems Y/N isn't doing so well," Rose says. "Your tía thinks a change of location is what's best for her."

"Y/N wants to move here?"

"Well not exactly," Ray says. "Y/N doesn't know. If we agree to take her in, then Y/N will be told of her relocation."

Julie nods, looking thoughtful. "Okay."

"Okay?" Ray muses. "What does okay mean?"

"Well I'm assuming you're only telling me because you never make a big decision without seeing what me and Carlos think," Julie says and then smiles brightly. "I love Y/N. Carlos loves Y/N, so I know he already voted yes."

Rose chuckles. "He did. I believe his words were I will throw down for Y/N any day of the week. Bring her home."

Julie snorts. "Of course he did." Then after glancing between her mom and dad, she nods with a gentler smile. "Whatever she needs. I'll even decorate the guest bedroom for her."

"That's nice, mija." Ray then looks over the boys, eyes settling on Reggie. "No flirting."

"I- what?"

"No flirting!"

Luke and Alex snort as Reggie gasps in mock outrage, but everyone knows Reggie is the one to flirt first and ask questions later. Ray and Rose laugh as they ready to leave the studio, Rose walking over to kiss her daughter on the temple before disappearing after her husband.

As soon as the teenagers are left alone, the boys whirl on Julie.

"So who's Y/N?" Alex asks, smiling innocently.

"And what was the drama a few months ago?" Luke wonders.

Julie glances between all three boys before sighing. "I'm only telling you this because it's highly likely she'll be coming soon." She has their full attention. "Y/N is my older cousin. Last year she met her soulmate."

"Aww," Alex coos.

"Or so we thought."

His smile immediately falls. "Oh."

Julie cringes. "Yeah. Apparently some new transfer student at her school liked my cousin so much that he decided he wanted to be her one and only. Really creepy dude," she says. "So somehow he figured out what her words were and made sure those were the first words he spoke to her." Their eyes widen. "When she spoke to him in return, he memorized the words and had them tattooed on. Then he refused to let her see the words, under the guise that they were in a private spot she couldn't see until they got to know each other better, until they healed."

"What the hell," Luke breathes. "That such a-"

"Dick move," Reggie mutters.

Alex nods in agreement. "Yeah. What they said."

Julie smiles sadly at her friends. "She was with him for a year before he met his real soulmate and then he tried to juggle them both. Y/N was really torn up about it."

"Who wouldn't be?" Alex says. "That is so messed up."

"It is. But if there's one thing I know about my cousin it's that she doesn't want people to tiptoe around her." Julie grins then. "So be yourselves like you are with me, just don't flirt with her."

Alex stares down his two guy best friends until they huff and nod in agreement. "I think they can handle that."

Stepping out of the Uber in front of your tío's house, you're grateful you stopped being annoyed with your mom for making you move long enough to accept the money she transferred into your bank account. The ride from the airport to the Molina household wasn't exactly a cheap one and you regretted not letting your family pick you up when you saw what you owed.

But now you're here, one duffel bag hanging from your shoulder and a medium-sized suitcase sitting by your feet. You only have a moment to take it all in before the front door is opening, and your tío and tía are exiting the house to greet you.

"You're here!" Rose smiles and is quick to pull you into a hug. "How was your flight?"

"Decent. Just a little turbulence. I might have barfed. Twice."

Rose and Ray laugh, and then Ray's tugging you into a hug of his own. "We're so glad to have you, mija. Julie and her friends have just about finished with your room. They're really excited to have you here."

"And I'm excited to be here." Pulling out of the hug, you're met with two identical expressions that practically say Are you really?. "Well now I am." All three of you chuckle. "I was a little upset at the short notice, but I'm totally over it. I am a little tired though, so yeah."

"Oh. Of course. Just head on up, mija. You know where the guest bedroom is," Rose says. "Ray and I need to go get some groceries for tonight. Does arroz con pollo sound good?"

You groan quietly. "It sounds fantastic. My mom could never quite make it like you do."

Ray laughs. "Well my sister is not the cook she claims to be. Now go on. Rest up and we'll see you for dinner."

As Ray and Rose take their leave, you grab your suitcase and drag it inside behind you. You can hear laughter coming from upstairs so that's where you head towards, and you're not surprised to see Julie, Flynn, and who appears to be Julie's bandmate Alex tacking up some fairy lights and draping them across your headboard. The bedroom, which was usually bare except for the bed and dresser, has many of your personal things scattered about that had been shipped a little over a week ago now. However the sheer black curtains, the maroon comforter bed set, and the lights they're hanging up are all new.

"A-hem." You clear your throat, smiling when all three teens freeze and turn towards you. "Are you guys seriously having fun without me?" The blonde boy grins as the two girls squeal, you dropping your duffel bag next to your suitcase just as Julie and Flynn launch themselves at you. Your arms are spread wide as they wrap themselves around you and you bring your own arms down around their shoulders to squeeze them in return. "Did you girls miss me?"

"Uh duh!" Flynn is the first to retort.

Julie pulls back just enough to look you in the face. "We're going to have so much fun."

"So much." You can't help but chuckle, your attention then sliding to the quiet blonde. "Alex, right?"

He smiles. "Yeah. Hi. It's nice to meet you."

"You too, man. I keep up with the band on Youtube and can I just say that you absolutely kill it on the drums? I mean holy shit. You're awesome!"

Alex blushes as Julie points at him. "See! Own your awesomeness. My cousin thinks you're cool, therefore you are cool."

Both girls finally release you, Flynn stumbling back to sit on the edge of what is now your bed. Julie stays right where she's at, arm wrapped around your waist as you both stare at her bandmate. You nod and smile at him. "You really are. We definitely need to jam some time."

Alex seems to perk up then. "Y-You're into music too?"

Flynn snorts. "The Molina's are all freakishly talented. I'm almost jealous."

You roll your eyes fondly at Flynn. "Shush. You're talented in other areas." Then looking at Alex, you grin. "I sing and write. Not as amazing as Julie, of course, but I can hold my own. I like to perform-"

"Just not in front of an audience," Julie muses.

"-and just let go. The rush of it all feels good." You turn to pout at your cousin. "And yeah, not in front of an audience of strangers." You stare at Alex once more. "Friends and family is fine, just not like a legit stage. I'll projectile vomit like that one girl in Pitch Perfect." All three teens snort, that movie having been popular with all of them.

Alex then grins. "We'll definitely have to jam then once you're settled in."

A brief moment of silence descends upon the room, but Flynn is not having it. She claps her hands once, garnering everyone's attention. "So before we get comfortable, lets address the elephant in the room." You groan as she smiles broadly. "How are you holding up?"

"I'm fine, guys."

"Really? Your sudden move states otherwise."

"Flynn!" Julie scolds. Alex seems to freeze, his gaze darting between you and Flynn.

Flynn grimaces as she seems to think she's crossed a line, but you merely roll your eyes. "What exactly did my mom tell your dad?" You turn to ask Julie.

"Um," she gulps and fidgets in place. "I was just told that you weren't doing so good after everything that happened."

You snort. "Seriously?" Julie nods and you chuckle, shaking your head. "Guys, I'm fine. Honestly! I got over the heartbreak like a week after it happened and then I was just pissed off. But my friends helped me realize some things and I'm good now."

"But then why did your mom say you weren't?" Julie wonders.

"I love my mom, but she's a moron," you say. You drag Julie over to your bed, kicking off your shoes along the way and crawl to sit against the headboard. Julie does the same and you gesture for Alex to join Flynn at the foot of your bed. He does, smiling to be included. Once everyone's settled, you say, "So Jerry, who was the guy pretending to be my soulmate," you explain for Flynn and Alex, "has been trying to get in contact with me ever since I blocked him on everything I could. A couple weeks ago while I was out partying with some friends, Jerry and his soulmate were at the same party I was at. I didn't notice them, but they noticed me and they somehow managed to come up with the idea that I was stalking them."

"What a bitch," Flynn immediately blurts. Alex nods along with her.

"Anyway, Jerry's soulmate confronted me and I was completely blindsided by how angry she was with me. I mean, Jerry's the one who tricked me! Not the other way around." You shake your head in annoyance. "She made some hella stupid accusations and she threw a punch."

Julie gasps. "She didn't!?"

"She did. Now I'm not stupid, so I let her hit me a couple of times before I took my first swing. Fortunately for me, she clawed me," you pull your shirt down to show them three marks just above your cleavage, "and she was arrested when the cops got there. After giving my statement and getting statements from the witnesses, they determined I acted in self defense and let me go home. Mom took the little altercation as me spiraling and acting out, so she shipped me off."

"Jesus," Julie sighs. "That's messed up."

"It really is. But oh well. What happened, happened, and now I get to live with my favorite people."

All four of you laugh before Alex gestures towards your chest, sobering up some. "I have some cream that you can use so it'll fade the scars. My soulmate likes to skateboard and he gets pretty banged up every now and then so I keep a stash of that stuff for him."

You smile fondly at him. "Yes, please. The first time my real soulmate sees the girls," you shimmy your chest just the slightest, "I don't want him to see my battle wounds."

Julie swats you with the back of your hand and you laugh at her exasperated expression as the other two break down into giggles.

Lounging around in your room, you ask Julie about her other two bandmates but Alex tells you they had family obligations they couldn't get out of. Carlos gets dropped off by his friend's mom and he joyously jumps onto the middle of the bed when he realizes you're finally there. So that's how Ray and Rose find the five of you, laughing and joking in your new room before dinner is ready and making plans to hang out the following day when everyone could meet up.

After explaining to your tío and tía the real reasoning your mother had you sent away, it was like a weight was lifted off their shoulders and they were more at ease in your presence. You laughed at their sheepishness, at how they thought they had a rightfully heartbroken teenager on their hands with no clue how to ease said heartache. But when all was said and done, everyone seemed to be themselves around you.

Alex had shown up that afternoon, soulmate in tow, and immediately you asked to play with Willie's hair. Both boys had laughed, Willie agreed and readily sat on the floor between your knees as Julie and Alex Facetimed Flynn about any upcoming open mic nights they could book. Willie had a box of random hair supplies in his lap and you saw how he kept running his fingers over a feather and some small silver hoops. Without even asking him, you grabbed a couple of silver hoops, a feather, and set them aside. You had him tilt his head and he did so without questions, closing his eyes as you started to part and section the hair on the right side of his head. Alex smiled every time he looked over at the two of you and you happily gave Willie three thin braids about five inches long before letting the rest of his hair hang loose. The two outer braids had the silver hoops clipped in and the braid in the middle held the feather you had braided in with a thin leather cord. When you were finished and then combed out Willie's hair one last time, you told him you were done and had to bite back a laugh at the way Alex gulped. Willie eagerly went to check himself out in the mirror, beaming at his reflection before turning around and pulling you into a hug.

While your tío Ray and tía Rose worked, and Carlos spent time at his friend's house, you and Julie ordered in some pizza for yourselves, Alex, and Willie. They had no plans at all for the day so the four of you went out to Rose's studio garage when Flynn finally showed up.

Flynn has the bright idea to do karaoke, pulling out the equipment and setting up a laptop Julie had in the studio for this occasion.

Flynn killed it on Nicki Minaj's Starships, you and Julie sang Mamma Mia and were joined by a very enthusiastic Alex. Willie absolutely refused to sing, but that was okay because he knew the choreography for Backstreet Boys Everybody and you eagerly pulled him up to dance with yourself and Julie. Tío Ray and Tía Rose showed up with Carlos in tow, and you and Julie laughed joyously as her parents sang through Journey's Don't Stop Believin'.

Everyone was laughing and having a good time, but as the sun was going down the parental figures went inside to talk through dinner ideas and clean up a little.

You ask Julie if she has any originals you have yet to hear, but as she goes to go grab a journal Alex speaks up. "What about you? You said you wrote, right? I need to hear an original."

"I, uh, sure." You shrug. You turn towards Julie, eyeing the laptop. "Are my instrumentals still on there?"

She grins. "Yeah. Can I choose?"

"Go for it." You get up to go see which song of yours she's going to choose, smiling softly when you see her choice. Alex is practically bouncing in his seat, Willie is shaking his head at him in fond amusement, and Flynn looks torn between recording with her phone. When you nod at her, she beams and gets ready to hit record on her phone.

"So before Julie hits play, I just want you guys to know I wrote this song while I was Jerry. He absolutely loathed it when he first heard it because he thought I was singing about someone else." You huff a laugh. "The song was honestly about a couple on a TV show I got fixated on, but he didn't believe me. So anyway, I might be a little rusty, but Julie loves it so here goes nothing.

Julie hits play. The violin starts and you smirk when you see Alex's eyebrows raise. Then the drums, guitar, and bass kick in and his eyes widen just as his jaw drops when your attitude completely changes.

"I'm in the business of misery, let's take it from the top. She's got a body like an hourglass, it's ticking like a clock. It's a matter of time before we all run out. When I thought he was mine, she caught him by the mouth."

You keep singing, singing to Julie, but then it goes silent before the chorus kicks in and you find yourself back to back with your cousin as she joins you. "Woah, it was never my intention to brag. To steal it all away from you now. But God, does it feel so good 'cause I got him where I want him now. And if you could, then you know you would 'cause God, it just feels so.. It just feels so good."

Willie whoops and you laugh your way through the next few lines, rocking your shoulders and even throwing in a couple of head bangs for good measure.

But then the music quiets just so and you face the boys. "I watched his wildest dreams come true and not one of them involving you. Just watch my wildest dreams come true. Not one of them involving.." You head bang now, twisting your head back and forth so your hair wildly flips back and forth. Julie plays the air guitar and you're laughing, having made yourself dizzy in the process. But then as one particular part comes up, you sidle up to Julie's side, your face just inches from the side of her own face as she stares forward. "Woah I never meant to brag, but I got him where I want him now."

Your chest aches from putting your all into your own song, sweat beading at your hairline as you jump around dancing. You're exhausted by the end of the song, but it's well worth it to see Alex's gobsmacked expression.

The studio falls silent, but it's Willie and Flynn who jump to their feet. Their utter amazement and joyfulness makes you a little sheepish, but then Alex is standing to his feet. "Holy shit."

"Right?" Julie cackles. "I've been begging her to play live with us for one song, but she won't."

"Are you frickin' kidding me?!" The new voice has your head snapping in it's direction, the boy in a leather jacket and red flannel wrapped around his waist staring at you in wonder. "What is it with you Molina's and your musical talents?"

Your face flames at his praise, eyes then darting to the boy with shaggy hair and a sleeveless shirt gaping at you. You chuckle nervously and Julie wraps an arm around your shoulders, grinning as she introduces you. "And here we have Reggie and Luke. Guys, this is my cousin Y/N."

"Dude, will you marry me?" Luke's words make everyone laugh out loud, but you freeze.

Julie, having felt you tense up, stares at you. "Y/N? Are you-"

But you cut her off, eyes solely on Luke as you say, "Bro, don't call me dude." Your mocking tone makes Flynn snort.

Not only is it Luke's turn to freeze, but so do Alex and Reggie. Their eyes widen as they stare between you and Luke, your heart beating triple when you realize just who this is.

"Oh my god," Alex mutters.

"Oh my god!" Reggie exclaims, smile instantly beaming.

"OH MY GOD!" Julie shouts, arm tightening around your shoulder. "Did he just- did you just say.." You nod, your breathing becoming a little erratic. Julie notices and turns you so she grips you by the shoulders and you're staring directly into her face. "Hey, it's okay. You're fine. Luke's one of the good ones."

You gulp. "I- it's not that," you murmur. "But he said.. and I need to see-"

Before you can finish, the presence of said boy is right next to you and Julie. You startle at his appearance, but then he's holding out his arm between you and your cousin and you glance down to see the words that have been stamped into his skin since the day of his birth. There on the space just below the crease of his elbow are the words bro, don't call me dude.

You laugh, a little wetly, but no one dares to call you out on it. Instead, you turn and lift your shirt so he can see his own words stamped on your ribs. A faint touch has you flinching away and giggling, and Julie snorts as you pout at Luke who seems to realize you're ticklish.

"OH MY GOD! YOU GUYS ARE SOULMATES!" Flynn shouts. "THIS IS SO COOL!"

And just like that the tension is broken, everyone laughing and cheering. You're having trouble holding Luke's gaze, his crinkled eyes and swoon-worthy smile making you want to reach out and hug him. So when you see his fingers twitch and tap out a beat against his leg before he clenches his fists closed, you cave and pull him into a hug. He hesitates a moment before he sighs, wrapping his arms tightly around you in return.

"Hey. ¿Qué está pasando? (What's going on?) Rose wonders. Apparently the cheering had caught tía Rose and tío Ray's attention.

You and Luke break apart, but your arms remain touching as you both stare at Julie's parents like you'd been caught doing something wrong. And since the two of you can't seem to form words, Julie giggles before filling them in. "Luke and Y/N are soulmates. They said each other's words."

Ray and Rose immediately look at you in shock, and you can feel your face heating up. Slowly, you smile at your tía's concerned expression and immediately she's beaming as she makes a beeline for you. "Mija! That's wonderful news." You laugh as she hugs you and then laugh even harder when you see your tío Ray clamp a hand down on Luke's shoulder. Then releasing you and turning towards Luke, tía Rose smiles as she opens her arms wide before moving in to hug him. "I'm happy for you too, mijo. Welcome to the family." Then pulling back, she says, "Not that you weren't already part of the family, but you know."

Luke chuckles, ears turning red. "Thanks, Mrs. Molina."

"Well this is a cause for celebration," Ray says. "Anyone feeling up to pasta?" Julie, Flynn, and Reggie all whoop in unison. "You going to join us, Willie?"

Willie, never usually around for long periods of time with Julie's family, is surprised to be invited. Alex beams at his soulmate and Willie knows he can't say no. "Sure, Mr. Molina. Thanks for the invite."

"Great," Rose smiles. "Well now that that's settled, I'm going to go make a reservation so we don't give the hostess a stroke when we all walk in. Everyone has two hours before we leave."

Tía Rose and tío Ray congratulate you and Luke one last time before they take their leave. Everyone follows after them, excitingly talking outfit choices, but Reggie remains by the opened doors smiling between you and Luke. A second later, Alex returns and marches a reluctant Reggie away.

Now that it's just you and Luke, the two of you laugh nervously.

"So.."

"So.." You both laugh nervously again and then you're groaning. "This is so weird, but like I'm also really excited."

Luke loses some of his nerves and his shoulders slump. "Really? You're excited?"

"Yeah. Why wouldn't I be?"

He turns sheepish then, averting his gaze as he shoves his hands into the front of his jean's pockets. "Julie might have explained the shitty thing your ex did and yeah. I would understand if you weren't stoked to meet me on your second day here."

He's so genuine in his explanation that you can't help but mentally swoon at this boy before you. You're not sure where the sudden confidence comes from, but you're grateful for it when you step closer and take his face in the palm of your hands so he's staring right at you. "Okay one, my mother didn't properly explain why she moved me here. I'll fill you in later, but I'm telling you right now it's not because I'm heartbroken or anything. And two, I am stoked to meet you. You wanna know why?" Luke can only nod as he pays close attention and you grin at him. "Because the moment realization sunk in, everything just felt.. it felt-"

"Right?" He asks, voice low.

You nod. "It felt right. There was no uncomfortable feeling in the pit of my stomach, there was just elation. Like I found something I didn't know I was looking for until you uttered the words etched on my ribs."

Luke slowly smiles and you let your hands fall to your sides, leaning in and quickly kissing his cheek. "Now come on. We need to get ready for tonight."

His cheeks turn red almost immediately, but you don't say anything as you grab his arm and drag his hand from his pocket. Then clasping his hand within your own, you drag him out of the studio and up towards the house.

Dinner was quite the affair, everyone pushing you and Luke next to one another at the table and cooing over how adorable you two were. Even his parents, Emily and Mitch, had been invited along and everyone smiled throughout the entire dinner. The table was quite loud, but not a single customer nearby or the waitresses could blame you when Reggie loudly explained that they were celebrating newly found soulmates. There was even applause that had you and Luke turning red in the face and then trying to aim a kick at Reggie's shin under the table. Unfortunately, Alex took the brunt of both kicks.

When the weekend was over, Luke and the boys stood by your side on your first day of school. The band had quite the following and those fangirls of theirs were not impressed to see you and Luke hand-in-hand. It was a bit daunting navigating the hallways with a majority of the school's population looking down their nose at you, but then Julie, Flynn, and surprisingly Carrie Wilson (your cousin's arch-nemesis) came to your aide. You understood Julie and Flynn's protectiveness, but Carrie's was a shock and she merely flipped her hair over her shoulder while giving the excuse that no one should be shit on just because they found their soulmate. The girls were stunned, but shrugged it off and let Carrie do what Carrie wanted to do.

Tía Rose and tío Ray saw a lot more of Luke at their home, but didn't put up any fuss. The only thing they asked was that if they were alone in the room, then the bedroom door was to remain open at all times. And not wanting to disappoint them, you and Luke abided by their rules. Because being with Luke.. it was the complete opposite than being with Jerry. There were no nerves, no second guessing, and no jealousy. You were happy to be with Luke and vice versa, and either of you could go out with friends with no twenty questions about who you were going with and where (Jerry seriously did a number on you).

You became Julie and the Phantoms number one fan, alongside Willie and Flynn, and sat up in the loft with Willie while the band rehearsed downstairs. The times you did go downstairs after rehearsals and Luke bounded over to you like an eager puppy, you had to fight the urge to chuck something at Reggie and Julie when they cooed over how cute you were together.

Luckily for you, Luke wasn't into PDA other than hand holding or hugs. But it still didn't stop your friends from mockingly groaning for you to get a room when Luke would hug you from behind and stay there with his chin hooked over your shoulder.

Today is one of the rare days the band left Luke alone so he could spend the time with you, but you're stuck doing Algebra II homework and Luke is going through one of your old writing journals for abandoned lyrics to give him inspiration.

You've been stuck on the same problem for what feels like twenty minutes when you hear Luke sharply inhale. You glance up at him, watching him read through something that's clearly caught his attention. You can't help but grin at his look of concentration and then his expression falls and your heart suddenly aches.

Luke glances up and you gulp. "What's this?"

"What's what?"

He glances back down at the journal in his hands before looking at you once more. "Something titled Train Wreck. It looks like a completed song."

Your expression completely goes lax then. "Oh. That's, uh, I wrote that a while back when my mom and dad were going through their divorce." You close the math book in your lap and hesitantly meet Luke's gaze. "That was not a fun time for all involved. My mind was kind of.. messed up back then."

Luke gulps. "I don't want to seem inconsiderate of what clearly was a dark time for you, but this- this is really good, Y/N. Do you have a melody for it?"

You huff a laugh, shaking your head in fond amusement. Only Luke would be this invested in a song. "I do. I think it's on the laptop in a password protected file.."

His eyes light up. "Can I hear it? You don't have to, I just-"

"It's fine." You get up, heading over to the laptop and powering it up to find what you need. After a bit of searching, you find it and open it up. Letting the melody play, you look up at Luke. "I won't sing the whole thing, but I'll sing a portion of it."

He eagerly nods. "I'll take anything."

You smile at him, nervously taking a seat on a crate in the middle of the room. He finds another crate and places it close to you, wanting to be as close as possible. You close your eyes, smiling, and let the melody wash over you as the lyrics come back to you in a flash. Your heart beat is beating double, but you inhale deeply and let it out slowly.

Losing yourself to the music, you mouth the lyrics to yourself until letting your voice ring out. "Underneath our bad blood, we've still got a sanctum. Home, still a home, still a home here. It's not too late to build it back 'cause a one in a million chance is still a chance, still a chance and I would take those odds."

You open your eyes, chest aching as all those feelings from so long ago come rushing back and make your voice just that much stronger. "Unbreak the broken, unsay these spoken words. Find hope in the hopeless, pull me out of the train wreck." Luke grabs your hand and you squeeze it for all your worth as you keep looking forward. "Unburn the ashes, unchain the reactions now. I'm not ready to die, not yet. Pull me out of the train wreck. Pull me out, pull me out, pull me out."

You meet Luke's gaze then, a little surprised to see his eyes red rimmed and teary through your own blurry vision. "You can say what you like, don't say I wouldn't die for it. I'm down on my knees and I need you to be my God, be my help, be a Savior who can-"

Your voice cracks on the next word and Luke tugs on your hand, pulling you into a hug. A sob escapes your throat as you cling to Luke, but you quickly stifle it against his shoulder. As the melody plays out, you press your forehead to his shoulder before pushing back and sniffling. "I, uh, I'm sorry about that. Everything came rushing back and I-"

"Don't apologize." Luke catches your face in the palm of his hands, thumbs brushing away your tears before his lips press against your forehead. The action is so soft that your expression crumples momentarily, but you quickly mask it when Luke pulls back to catch your gaze. "That was amazing, Y/N! So amazing. And I'm sorry it brought up bad memories, but.. wow."

You huff a laugh, pulling back so you aren't hunched over. Luke, however, refuses to stop touching you and catches your hands within his own. "I should have guessed you'd be easily impressed."

"For you? Always."

You shake your head, grinning. "You're so freakin' cheesy, Luke Patterson."

He chuckles and again you're hit with a sudden boost of confidence that you lean forward, one hand finding the back of his neck so you can bring him to meet you halfway in a kiss. He smiles against your mouth, but the smile quickly falls the second you tilt your head to deepen the kiss. Unfortunately, just as the tip of your tongue flicks against his bottom lip, you're interrupted.

"Can we come in now?" Reggie's voice rings out. "I really wanna give Y/N a hug after hearing that song."

"Reggie!" Julie scolds.

You and Luke pull apart laughing. You both straighten up and look towards the door just in time to see Reggie rubbing at the back of his head as he walks in with Alex and Julie behind him. Hand in hand, you and Luke stand up and chuckle at Reggie's put out expression.

Had you known that having a soulmate felt exactly as you feel right now, you would have known something was definitely up back home with Jerry. And though you will always hate your ex for tricking you the way he did, there's an ounce of gratefulness for the misery he put you through because had he not then you wouldn't have moved and met your true soulmate.

[bloody-bee-tea]

Take me out

This is my 300th fic for The Untamed!

Jiang Cheng is absolutely looking forward to a hot shower and an early evening. He isn’t drenched in blood for once—neither his nor his target’s—but his target got one, two good hits in before Jiang Cheng managed to kill him and Jiang Cheng is starting to feel it.

It’s nothing a good, hot shower can’t fix though and Jiang Cheng feels relaxed just thinking about it. 

He just peeled his first layer of clothes off when his phone rings.

Jiang Cheng groans and debates for a very long moment if he should just ignore it, because he deserves an evening off, goddammit.

But curiosity gets the better of him, so he fishes his phone out of his jacket on the floor and he frowns when he sees Nie Mingjue’s name on the display.

“Hello?” he asks when he answers the call and worry settles in his gut when Nie Mingjue’s answer comes a beat too late.

“I need your help,” is the first thing Nie Mingjue says and Jiang Cheng straightens up just by hearing his voice.

“What’s wrong?” Jiang Cheng asks, already leaving the bathroom and putting on his shoes again. 

If Nie Mingjue needs help Jiang Cheng will of course do everything he can for him, especially if he sounds as tense as this.

“My house is under surveillance,” Nie Mingjue tells him, his voice tight. “My security knows they are there but they can’t find them.”

“Who are they?” Jiang Cheng wants to know, already back in work mode as he gathers his knives.

“I’m not sure. But Huaisang is going to come home, soon,” Nie Mingjue tells him and Jiang Cheng finally understands his worry better.

If those people are not only there for surveillance but to do a hit on the Nie’s, Nie Huaisang would be a convenient target.

“I’ll be there in half an hour,” Jiang Cheng promises him. “Call Huaisang to tell him he should be late,” he instructs him and then hangs up on Nie Mingjue.

Jiang Cheng is a professional through and through but there’s a part of him that went into full panic mode when Nie Mingjue asked him to help him, because Nie Mingjue is not supposed to know about Jiang Cheng’s work.

Jiang Cheng made it a point to keep it as far away from him as possible, knowing damn well that Nie Mingjue would hate him should he ever find out about his line of work, and Jiang Cheng couldn’t stand that.

It’s already bad enough that Jiang Cheng is hopelessly in love with Nie Mingjue without any hope of reciprocation, but to think that he would lose him completely as a friend if Nie Mingjue finds out what Jiang Cheng does for his living is enough to make Jiang Cheng panic.

But it seems like Nie Mingjue knows what Jiang Cheng does—or at least suspects enough to know that Jiang Cheng can handle this—and Jiang Cheng pushes that thought far, far away for now.

He has to do a job; there’s no time to panic over something he can only speculate about anyway.

When Jiang Cheng arrives at the Nie residence, he doesn’t approach it from the main entrance; he circles the property once, taking note of the people surveilling the area and Jiang Cheng clenches his jaw when he realizes that they are most definitely not there for surveillance.

This is most definitely a hit on the Nie’s and Jiang Cheng can feel his fingers itch to kill each and every single last one of them simply for daring to put his friends into danger.

But before he gets started on that, he pulls his phone out again and dials Nie Mingjue’s number.

“How is it?” Nie Mingjue asks him immediately.

“Nothing I can’t handle,” Jiang Cheng gives back and he winces when he realizes that he’s probably only digging his own grave here.

Nie Mingjue has a very firm stance on assassins and the work they do and it all boils down to “They shouldn’t be doing this and need to be turned in”.

“But?” Nie Mingjue asks him when Jiang Cheng stays silent for a beat too long.

“I need you to pull back your security. No, wait, that would alert them,” Jiang Cheng rushes out, cursing himself for how unconcentrated he is. “Tell them to keep doing their rounds, but not to interfere, no matter what they see or hear.”

“Done,” Nie Mingjue says and promptly hangs up on Jiang Cheng.

Jiang Cheng takes a moment to center himself and to push every lingering thought of Nie Mingjue knowing about his work and maybe, probably hating him away, so that he can concentrate on the job he has to do. 

When he feels centered again, he gets started.

It’s not an easy task, because after he killed the first two, the rest of them notice that something is wrong and from then on Jiang Cheng has a hard time getting the drop on them, since they are already watching out.

But he manages to make his way through them almost unscathed until the very last man. 

Jiang Cheng briefly hesitates when he realizes that it’s Wen Zhuliu, because if there’s one fellow assassin out there who could take Jiang Cheng, then it might just be him, but the lives of his friends are on the line here, so Jiang Cheng tightens the grip on his knives and then dives right in.

He manages to stab Wen Zhuliu into the back, before he notices him but after that it’s a hand-to-hand fight.

Jiang Cheng is by no means bad at those, but Wen Zhuliu has years of experience on him, not even to mention his more solid build and Jiang Cheng knows this won’t be an easy fight.

He manages to keep Wen Zhuliu away from him for the most part, darting in and out faster than Wen Zhuliu can react, but Jiang Cheng does take a few hits. 

Wen Zhuliu prefers knives too, so soon enough Jiang Cheng has slashes all over his arms and chest, and Jiang Cheng is pretty sure Wen Zhuliu got him in the face once, too.

Still, the first hit Jiang Cheng got in seems to slow him down considerably, and Jiang Cheng presses that advantage mercilessly.

In the end it pays off that he took some deliberate hits because between one moment and the next there’s an opening and Jiang Cheng sinks his knife into Wen Zhuliu’s chest.

“And your master is next,” Jiang Cheng hisses as he twists the knife for good measure too and he’s honestly looking forward to killing Wen Chao now.

How dare he put Nie Mingjue and Nie Huaisang in danger.

“Good,” Wen Zhuliu says, right before he drops dead and Jiang Cheng frowns down at his lifeless body.

He always suspected that it was just a contract that keeps Wen Zhuliu by Wen Chao’s side, but whenever he saw the man in action he started to doubt it. He did seem rather committed to protecting Wen Chao.

Well, now Jiang Cheng just has one more reason to kill Wen Chao.

Jiang Cheng circles the property one more time, checking if he really got everyone, before he knocks on Nie Mingjue’s front door.

It’s flung open seconds later, so clearly Nie Mingjue was already waiting for him.

Nie Mingjue looks him up and down once, before he simply drags him into the house and pushes him towards the first bathroom they come across.

“Strip,” Nie Mingjue orders him and despite the situation Jiang Cheng goes a little bit hot under the collar.

He knows Nie Mingjue doesn’t mean it like that, but it certainly does things to Jiang Cheng to hear that command from him.

“It’s not so bad,” Jiang Cheng tries to argue, but he knows it’s hopeless when Nie Mingjue glares at him. “Fine, whatever,” Jiang Cheng mutters and pulls off his shirt.

It’s completely ruined, with how Wen Zhuliu slashed at it and Jiang Cheng already hates the thought that he has to put it back on again once he leaves.

Nie Mingjue sucks in a surprised breath when he sees the wounds on Jiang Cheng’s body, and by now he really starts to feel it. It really doesn’t help that the hits he took on the job before start to hurt now as well.

“You really should be more careful,” Nie Mingjue tells him as he gets out a first aid kit. 

“That’s not always possible,” Jiang Cheng gives back and tries his hardest not to think about the scars marring his chest.

It’s not like Nie Mingjue cares either way.

Nie Mingjue’s mouth twists at that but he gets started on disinfecting the mostly shallow wounds on Jiang Cheng.

Jiang Cheng frowns when he notices that, because Jiang Cheng might be good but he’s not that good. He’s pretty sure that if Wen Zhuliu had wanted to kill him, he would have dealt more damage than just some thin slashes.

“Are you alright?” Nie Mingjue suddenly asks him and when Jiang Cheng comes out of his thoughts he realizes that Nie Mingjue is already mostly done patching him up.

“Thank you,” Jiang Cheng says and bends down to reach for his ruined shirt suddenly itching to get out of here, no matter if Nie Mingjue is done patching him up or not. “I’ll get out of your hair in a moment,” he then tacks on and just hopes that Nie Mingjue will give him enough time to gather his things before he calls the police on him.

Nie Mingjue always reiterated that it’s important to him that people do honest work, and contract killers surely are not that. It’s a wonder this house is not crawling with police already.

“What do you think you’re doing?” Nie Mingjue asks as he reaches out to grab Jiang Cheng’s wrist, stopping his motion.

“Leaving?” Jiang Cheng asks, beyond confused, because he thought this is what Nie Mingjue wanted.

“You’re injured. You’re not going anywhere,” Nie Mingjue tells him and then he throws a shirt in Jiang Cheng’s face.

“I didn’t want to impose,” Jiang Cheng mutters, as he picks the shirt off his head and gratefully shrugs it on. 

He does feel better, now that his scars are not on full display.

“You can’t impose,” Nie Mingjue gives back, but he’s not meeting his eyes and Jiang Cheng’s stomach drops.

Maybe Nie Mingjue is just keeping him here until the police arrive.

Jiang Cheng knows that he should feel betrayed by that, but he knew that Nie Mingjue wouldn’t tolerate his job so this is not as much of a surprise as it probably should be.

If Jiang Cheng is completely honest, it’s what he deserves anyway.

“You can tell me if we’re just waiting for the police to arrive,” Jiang Cheng lowly says and he keeps his eyes trained on the ground. 

“Why would you think that?” Nie Mingjue wants to know and he sounds honestly confused.

“It’s what I deserve, isn’t it?” Jiang Cheng asks even though it feels like his heart is breaking.

He curses himself, because he always knew that it would end this way if Nie Mingjue ever finds out what he does and it was more than stupid to fall in love with him in the first place.

“You deserve the world,” Nie Mingjue gives back and Jiang Cheng startles when he cups his cheek in his hand. “And I would like to give it to you.”

Jiang Cheng can only blink at that, because what Nie Mingjue says doesn’t make any sense at all.

“What?” he asks dumbly, because maybe Wen Zhuliu killed him after all and this is just his afterlife or something, because that would make so much more sense than whatever is happening right now.

“Wanyin, let me take you out,” Nie Mingjue says softly and Jiang Cheng’s mouth works without his permission.

“In a date way, or with a sniper?” he asks. “Because I can recommend a few that could take me.”

Nie Mingjue stares at him for a moment before he huffs out a “Fuck you” and simply walks away from Jiang Cheng.

“What the hell just happened?” Jiang Cheng asks into the now empty room when Nie Mingjue really simply leaves and he jumps when Nie Huaisang answers him.

He didn’t even notice him enter the room.

“He really does love you, you know,” Nie Huaisang tells him, hiding half of his face behind his ever-present fan.

“Yeah, right,” Jiang Cheng bitterly huffs out. “As if he could ever love someone like me.”

Nie Huaisang stares at him for long moments before he drops the fan.

“He loves me, doesn’t he?”

“You’re his brother. That’s different.”

“You really think that would make a difference if what I did would go against his very morale?” Nie Huaisang asks him and Jiang Cheng frowns at him.

“What you do? I doubt that Mingjue has such a hard stance on poetry and art.”

“I’m not talking about that.”

“What else are you doing then?” Jiang Cheng wants to know and he watches as Nie Huaisang’s eyes go wide.

“Jiang Cheng, I’m the Headshaker. Please tell me you know that!”

“You’re the who?” Jiang Cheng incredulously asks and Nie Huaisang starts to laugh.

“Oh, this is gold!” he wheezes out and Jiang Cheng simply plops down on the floor because he’s not sure his legs will carry him for a moment longer.

“Huaisang!” he snaps when Nie Huaisang simply keeps laughing instead of explaining his very bad joke.

“Sorry, sorry, it’s just—I always thought you were too afraid of rejection to take that last step, or that you maybe didn’t love him enough to take a little risk, but it turns out you’re afraid that he’ll turn you in!”

“That’s not funny,” Jiang Cheng tells him, when Nie Huaisang won’t stop laughing but it still takes Nie Huaisang so very long to calm down.

“It is, especially considering that half your contracts come from me,” Nie Huaisang says when he finally caught his breath again. “I thought you wanted to keep business out of our friendship and that’s why you never said anything. Did you really not know?”

“How the hell would I have known about this?” 

“It is kind of obvious, when you think about it,” Nie Huaisang tells him but Jiang Cheng shakes his head.

“Nothing about this is obvious,” he presses out and rubs his temples.

This is really too much for one single day. Jiang Cheng isn’t even sure what he should freak out about first.

“So,” Nie Huaisang carefully says, once he gave Jiang Cheng a few moments to process everything. “Now that you know, will your answer to my brother be different?” he asks and Jiang Cheng narrows his eyes at him.

“What answer?” 

Nie Huaisang smacks him over the head with his fan for that question and Jiang Cheng rubs the place as he glowers at Nie Huaisang.

“He loves you. And he’s not going to hand you over to the police because he doesn’t treat the people he loves like that.”

Jiang Cheng doesn’t dare to tell Nie Huaisang that he still doesn’t believe that, because he does not want to get hit by him again, but Jiang Cheng still has his doubt.

“It’s still different with you,” he finally mutters when Nie Huaisang simply waits him out and Nie Huaisang sighs.

“He knows your work. Hell, he knows your work before you even know it because you keep getting it from me, and he’s not as against this as you might think. Yes, da-ge hates injustice and he is a firm believer that everyone should be held responsible for their actions, but that doesn’t equate to handing you over or wanting you dead.”

Jiang Cheng mulls that over for a few moments, because it is what he believed for the longest time but in the end he only sighs.

“I love him, too,” he finally admits and Nie Huaisang beams at him.

“Good,” he cheerfully says and promptly turns around and leaves the bathroom.

Before Jiang Cheng can call after him, or even push himself to his feet again, Nie Mingjue steps back inside and Jiang Cheng flushes when he realizes that he probably heard everything.

“I still have to patch up the cut on your cheek,” Nie Mingjue says as if nothing at all is wrong and Jiang Cheng barely manages a nod, he’s so embarrassed.

But Nie Mingjue doesn’t seem to mind; he simply gets started on tending to the cut on Jiang Cheng’s cheek and Jiang Cheng really wishes he would have done that when Jiang Cheng was all lost in his head, because Nie Mingjue is really close, and he’s looking directly at him and he has one hand on the side of Jiang Cheng’s face, and it’s all a little bit much to take.

“Listen, Wanyin,” Nie Mingjue suddenly says. “I know you put the ass and sass in assassin, but I would really like to put in some sin with you, too,” he says with a wink and it’s so completely ridiculous that Jiang Cheng bursts out laughing.

“That was so bad,” he wheezes once he regained a little bit of his breath and Nie Mingjue smiles at him.

“It was,” he agrees. “But it made you laugh, so it was worth it.”

That sobers Jiang Cheng up right away and he blushes again.

“But you mean it?” he has to ask, because maybe Nie Huaisang read this completely wrong and Nie Mingjue did mean taking him out in the sniper way.

“Of course I do,” Nie Mingjue immediately says and Jiang Cheng sags in relief. “I’m in love with you. I’d like to take you out. On a date,” Nie Mingjue hurriedly tacks on and Jiang Cheng fears his heart is going to beat right out of his chest.

“I would like that,” Jiang Cheng admits and he is not at all prepared for the soft smile on Nie Mingjue’s face.

“Good,” Nie Mingjue says and pulls Jiang Cheng up.

When he over-balances with the sudden movement, Nie Mingjue takes the opportunity to brush a fleeting kiss over Jiang Cheng’s cheek, making him blush all over again.

“That’s a good look on you,” Nie Mingjue mutters, his lips fluttering over Jiang Cheng’s cheek, and despite his best efforts, Jiang Cheng simply cannot glare at him.

“What? Flustered and embarrassed?” 

“Blushing and in love,” Nie Mingjue gives back and Jiang Cheng’s face only grows hotter at that.

“Shut up,” he snaps but when Nie Mingjue only smirks at him, Jiang Cheng decides to give back as good as he gets.

The smirk puts Nie Mingjue’s dimples on display after all and Jiang Cheng leans forward to brush his own lips over the place where the dimples are.

It seems to have caught Nie Mingjue off guard as well, because he’s frozen for a moment, before the look on his face turns impossibly softer.

“Make me,” he still dares Jiang Cheng, who never met a challenge he wouldn’t take, and so he simply leans in and finally brings their lips together.

It doesn’t last long, and it’s relatively chaste, but when they part Jiang Cheng feels like he’s going to burst out of his skin with happiness.

“Come on, now,” Nie Mingjue says, the same happy look on his face that Jiang Cheng is no doubt sporting. “You need to rest.”

“I need to report,” Jiang Cheng gives back, because the Wen Chao issue has to be addressed, but if he’s honest, he feels like crashing at any moment now.

“You can report after a nap,” Nie Mingjue decides and pushes Jiang Cheng towards his bedroom.

“I thought you wanted to sin with me,” Jiang Cheng says, getting a little bit nervous when he sees Nie Mingjue’s huge bed.

“I do want that,” Nie Mingjue says and presses a kiss to Jiang Cheng’s forehead. “But you will rest first.”

He pushes Jiang Cheng down on the bed, and manhandles him under the covers, before he hovers unsurely at the side.

“Get in here,” Jiang Cheng sighs out, not wanting to keep Nie Mingjue out of his own bed, but also wanting him close.

Suddenly the thought of getting to cuddle with Nie Mingjue and being held by him, is the most important thing in the world.

Nie Mingjue obediently slides under the covers with him and Jiang Cheng lets out a happy sigh when Nie Mingjue gathers him up in his arms and pulls him close. It’s a very comfortable place to be in and Jiang Cheng is crashing hard.

“Sleep,” Nie Mingjue mutters into his hair and the last thing Jiang Cheng feels is how he follows it up with another kiss.

It’s a very nice feeling to fall asleep to.

Link to my ko-fi on the sidebar!

[winterscaptain]

redamancy.

Aaron Hotchner x Female Reader a joyful future fic

a/n: the moment you’ve all been waiting for...#5 makes an appearance! (thanks to kira @good-heavens-chris-evans for helping me not be a liar and gassing me up so i could post this tonight like i promised xoxo i love you so much) words: 5.56k warnings: descriptions of childbirth (nothing too gross or graphic), swearing, disgustingly sweet family content

summary: “what strange creatures brothers are!” - jane austen. au!august 2022

masterlist | a joyful future masterlist | ajf faq | taglist edited: january 9th, 2021

“Hey, Aaron?” You peer around the wall to the bedroom from your place on the master bath toilet. There isn't any urgency to your query, which would later make you both laugh until you can't breathe. 

Aaron has a book in his lap and reading glasses resting on his perfect nose, as is usual for bedtime. He turns a page. “Hm?”

“When you get to a good stopping point, can you grab the go bag?” 

“Yeah.” He gets up on autopilot, setting his book down. When he reaches the bedroom doorway, he freezes and turns over his shoulder “Wait. Why?”

“Oh, nothing extreme,” you say, your voice light. “My water just broke and I figured we might -“

Your name leaves his mouth in a laugh, and he trots back to you, helping you up and kneeling to assist you with your comfiest pair of pajama pants. You steady yourself with a hand on his shoulder, stepping into one leg, then the other. Playfully, he snaps the stretchy waistband around you. He's still kneeling before you when he says, “You’re insane, you know that?”

You smile down at him and scrub your fingers through his hair. He leans into your touch like a cat and closes his eyes. “You are too, I’d like to point out.”

He sighs, kissing your belly and resting his cheek on it. “Never said I wasn’t.” He looks up at you. “Is it weird that I’m...a little sad? I’ve loved this part of our lives so much.”

You shake your head. “Me too, my love. And no, It isn’t weird.” 

He holds your hands as he stands and kisses your forehead. 

“We should probably tell Jack it's go time so he can help the little ones when they get up.”

Aaron pauses for a moment, thinking. “Yeah, that’s probably a good idea. Isaac isn’t going to clearly remember last time, so he’ll probably be nervous, and this is totally new to the girls.” You reach up and he plants a kiss on your lips. You smile, pleased. 

A little contraction wave hits, and one side of your face screwed up in discomfort. 

Aaron kisses your cheek and says, “I’ll get the rest of the toiletries together.”

You nod, and padded down the hallway, your socked feet swishing a little against the hardwood floors. You knocked twice on Jack’s door, quietly, and waited for his groggy, “Yeah?”

With access granted, you open the door with a little smile, and Jack sits straight up.  You cross to his bed and sit down on the edge, opening your arm to him. Though he’s almost seventeen, he scrambled out from under the covers and tucked in close to you. 

“Your dad and I are headed to the hospital, and Aunt Jess and Em are on their way okay? If you need anything big, dad has his phone and -“

“Mom, we’ve done this before,” he says with a grin. “I know the drill.”

You push the hair off his forehead and kiss him. “I know it, but it makes me feel better. The little ones haven’t done this before, and they’ll probably be a little nervous. Please help your aunts so they aren’t driven to the drink by your sisters.”

He laughs a little, and surprises you by wrapping his arms around your shoulders and pulling you close to him. “Be safe, mom. I love you.” 

Tears prick at your eyes, and you hold him tight. “I love you so much, Jack.”

“Are you scared?”

You press a hand to the back of his head, and he burrows into your neck. “Only a little. I know I’m older, which can make some things difficult, but I’ll always come home to you.”

He nods. “Promise?”

“I promise as much as I can.”

Jack pulls away and swipes quickly at his eyes with the back of his hand. 

“Hey,” your brow crinkles in lighthearted concern. “What’s gotcha?”

He shakes his head. “It’s stupid”

“I can guarantee you it’s not.” While still a bit of a boy, Jack looks very much a man in the dark, lit only by the light of the hallway as the wheels turn in his head. You pick up one of his hands, and he places your linked fingers over your belly. 

“I just - I don’t - Ugh. It’s morbid - Nevermind.”

You huff a laugh. “Baby, remember that one-third of this house hunts serial killers for a living. Nothing is morbid.”

A smile quirks at his lips, but it doesn’t really reach his eyes. “Just be okay? Please?”

You sober and nod, pressing a hand to his cheek. “Jack, do you think I would ever put you or your father into a position that can result in leaving either one of you?”

He shakes his head. “But things happen.”

“They sure do. Your dad will be with me the whole time and he can send you hourly updates if you want. I promise promise promise you’ll be in the loop, baby. I know you like to know.”

Your son’s eyes flicker to the doorway, where a shadow appears. It's Aaron, his backpack on and your go bag in his hand. 

“Ready?” 

You nod, stand (not without effort), and press another kiss to Jack’s head. “I love you bud. I’ll see you when our plus one arrives.” 

The plan is easy: Emily and Jessica are on their way over for the kids, and Dave and Spencer will relieve them after 12 hours. Derek, Savannah, JJ, and Will are only called when the baby arrives, to save them the angst of prematurely wrangling four children between them. 

The hospital is only eighteen minutes away, but with the way Aaron drives, it's more like ten. 

Time is fairly important - with your body accustomed to delivering babies, having done it twice before, there’s a very big chance active labor would only take a few hours, if that. 

Emily and Jess pull up to the house at the same time, both in their pajamas, holding their overnight bags.

“Ready?” Jess asks, kissing your cheek. 

You laugh. “Don’t have much of a choice now, do I?” 

Emily sets her things down and wordlessly hugs you. You wrap your arms around her as best you can. 

“Walk me out?” You ask. 

She slings an arm around your shoulders and you walk back out the front door. She situates you in the passenger seat, and you offer her a small smile. 

“You know,” she starts with a bit of a laugh, “every single time I’m just as nervous as I was when Henry was born.” 

You reach for her hand, and kiss the back of it. “Me too.” 

Everything goes according to plan after that. You sit in the car with your stopwatch while Aaron packs the car, checking the car seat base and putting everything that needs to go up with you in the trunk. Jess and Emily get set up on the couches in the living room, ready to settle in for the night. 

You're uncomfortable, sure, but it isn't unbearable yet. This is the tedious part. 

Miraculously, none of the little ones wake up in the commotion. The magic of white noise machines is never to be underestimated. 

“Time?” He calls from where he leans into the back of the car. He's handling the last details, in full field operations mode. 

You turn around. “5 minutes, 15 seconds.”

“Alright,” he looks up at you and grins widely. “Let’s go, baby.”

+++

Brienne breezes in and checks your charts and your dilation. “It’s go, time, here I think, Momma.”

You sigh and readjust. “Do I have to lay down?” Comfortable as you are, epidural all finished, you still feel a little restless. The alternative is worse - you’d delivered Isaac without any pain management, and thought it was the end of days. You didn’t, and won’t, make that mistake again. 

“Not necessarily, but if you’re going to shuffle around I would suggest a squat for the sake of your blood pressure.”

Another contraction hits, and it knocks the wind out of you. You squeeze Aaron’s hand so hard you fear you’ll break it, and inform him for the third time that morning that you hate his guts. 

“I know, honey. I’m sorry. I know. I’m the worst. Just breathe, okay?” He presses his forehead to your temple, giving you something to focus on. 

It sounds like you tell him to fuck off, but you aren’t sure. The wave crests and then falls, and you slump back against the pillows. “Okay, maybe I do want to lie down.” 

Everyone stifles a chuckle, but you didn't have it in you to be prideful. While you still have a few seconds, you double-check the plan. “Hey Brienne, we’re still good to tie today, right?” 

“Yes, ma’am!” she says, way too chipper for the small morning hour. She speaks quickly, knowing she has to finish her thought before your next contraction. “Soon as we’re all done, we’ll do a really quick procedure and everything will be squared away. If, for some reason, we have to do an emergency cesarean, we can do it right then as well.” 

Brienne is a great obstetrician - she never pulls punches when the news is difficult or stressful. Her straightforward nature immediately endeared her to your whole family. 

It's too much to think about, seeing as another contraction sneaks up on you as you ponder. It felt like only seconds since the last one. 

You're so tired. 

Brienne gestures to Aaron. They developed a bit of a language over the last two deliveries, and he presses a kiss to your temple. “You gotta push, babe.” 

“God, Fuck. I hate you, Aaron. Goddamn you. I’m never letting you near me ever again. Fuck.” A stream of expletives continues to leave you as you push and push and push. 

He only holds your hand and reminds you to breathe and push. He also tells you how much he loves you in between agreeing with your damning assessments. 

If he's honest, he always thinks your ire during childbirth is hilarious. It is kind of his fault, and he can't fathom the physical trauma, so he figures this is a fair role to fill while you do the hard work. 

On a small trough in your final set of contractions, you catch your breath enough to ask for his other hand. This is the hardest part, and it always makes you a little nervous. 

“Aaron, come here. Please.” He drapes his arm around your shoulders, and you grab his hand where it hangs by your collarbone. 

“You’re almost there, darlin’! We’re gonna be crowning here in a second.” You can't see Brienne, totally locked into her task, but her update is a relief. 

You lean heavily into Aaron and he rests his cheek against yours. While this is a shorter labor than both Isaac and the girls’, you're exhausted. Bone-deep tired and hot and cold all at once. 

“You’re doing so well. You’re a superhero. I love you so much.” He whispers his words against you, and you wail as another contraction hit.  Your choice of a walking epidural doesn’t knock the pain out entirely, and it still totally sucks. But again, better than the alternative.

“We’ve got a little Hotchner head! Keep going!” Brienne pats your knee and grins at you, and you follow instructions. “Do you want to catch, Dad?”

Before he can answer, you tell him, “If you move, I’ll kill you,” through your teeth. Aaron shrugs and looks over your head at Brienne, who suppresses a smile. 

There can't be any blood left in Aaron’s upper extremities at this point. In the midst of actively disliking him and your presence in your life in that particular moment, you're so grateful for him you could cry. 

Well, you could cry for a great number of reasons, but that’s definitely one of them. 

A few minutes and a pretty bad time later, a strong cry fills the room and you let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding. Aaron releases you as you unbutton your gown to expose your chest. 

“Your time to shine, Aaron.” Brienne holds up the umbilical cord clamp and snaps it together twice like a dad at a barbecue. With a smile, he stands and rounds the bed. 

You tried to peer over to see, but you're only able to see Aaron and Brienne.

A smile eats up his whole face. 

“Hi!” His voice pitches up, and you start to cry. 

You just love him so much your chest could just burst. Aaron is always the first person to greet your children as they come into the world, and he never fails to deliver a warm welcome. 

“Right here, right?” He looks to Brienne, and she nods. He cuts the cord, and the nurse crosses the room for measurements. 

Aaron returns to you and removes his own shirt, ready to take the little one while you finish delivery. After his crew neck is thrown to the side, he gathers you up in his arms again. 

There’s nothing you can do but melt into him. His skin is warm and he smells good, whereas your skin felt clammy and you probably smell like a horse’s ass. 

Brienne’s voice comes to you faintly from the other side of the room, iterating the specs of the newest addition. “Baby Boy Hotchner, 5:37am, August 13th, 8 pounds, 14 ounces, 21 inches.”

Okay I'm not crazy. He’s actually huge. 

Aaron scoots even closer as you lean away to get a better look. Brienne sets the still-squalling infant on your chest with gentle, warm hands. Your eyes blur with tears. Aaron isn't any better off, keeping one hand on you and another on your son, his own tears tracking quietly down his cheeks. 

Your son. 

Brienne sighs and says, “Alright, last bit here, and then you’re done.” 

You nod and Aaron takes him off your chest, leaning back with one hand under him and one hand over him. Fluid and other questionable grossness be damned, he ducks his head and presses his cheek to his son’s head, an ineffable joy radiating through his body. 

Aaron’s hands almost completely cover him - with his little knees tucked to his chest, he looks like an angry little loaf of bread. 

The afterbirth is the easy part, but then it was before, too. All the Hotchner kids are massive - even the girls were bigger for twins. 

You always make fun of Aaron for “ripping me to shreds, and not in a fun way.” 

(Okay, fine. Maybe a little in a fun way. Sometimes.)

There’s a little more pressure, and you look down at Brienne’s outline behind that infernal green medical paper shit. “How’s it going down there?”

“I’m getting these suckers tied off so we don’t have any more happy accidents. Don’t mind me.” 

Aaron stifles a laugh and you roll your eyes, still weepy. The nurse passes him a warm, wet washcloth, and he begins to wipe the ick from his son’s skin. 

Brienne finishes up and helps you get adjusted with ice packs and that excellent postpartum underwear. When she's satisfied, she removes her gloves and presses a hand to your bare shoulder. “Beautiful work, momma. He’s perfect.” 

You put a shaky hand over hers. “Thanks.” A little watery laugh leaves you. Ouch. “I’ll miss you.” 

And it's true. Brienne has been a semi-permanent fixture in your life for close to six years and has become a friend. You wouldn’t have any reason to see her again outside of regular check-ups. 

She squeezes your shoulder twice. “You ever need anything, you know who to call. Let someone know when you’re ready to put his name down, and they’ll finish off the birth certificate.” 

With that, she shepherds the nurse out the door, and you're alone with Aaron. 

“So,” you say. 

He smiles, his eyes still trained on the little body who has quickly quieted and is snoozing on his chest. “So?”

“Gimme that.” 

His laugh is warm, and he places little one on your chest again. You prod him awake, feeling only a touch bad about it, and offer him a snack. He latches right away, and you tip your head back in sheer relief. 

“Thank God.” 

Aaron nods in agreement. “That’s one less thing to worry about.” He shakes his head as if shaking something off - no doubt remembering the meltdowns night after night trying to nurse Isaac. 

Little one is still naked to the world, so you point at the little blue blanket folded across the room. “Can you grab that for me?” 

Aaron just looks at you for a second, as if seeing you for the first time.  “Of course.” 

He crosses the room, throws the blanket over his shoulder, and grabs a diaper. While the little one is distracted, he deftly maneuvers the diaper into place and drapes the blanket over him to keep the chill off while maintaining skin-to-skin.

You pull the blanket back a little so you can see his squishy little face. “Can you call Jack?” 

“Do we want to call him now? It’s pretty early.” Aaron leans over to his backpack and pulls his phone out, finding a couple requests for updates from Jess. First things first, he turns the camera on you, and you give him a thumbs up. You detach the little one from your nipple for a second, framing his face with the blanket. Aaron gets a good photo of a yawn and fires both pictures off to the BAU group chat before checking Jess’s messages. 

4:12am How we doin? 4:18am Jack’s up with me. He can’t sleep. Em is dead to the world - she gave up about an hour ago. Give us an update when you can. 

6:02am He’s adorable!!! He’s got your nose though, which is unfortunate. 6:02am Kidding. Maybe. 

Aaron laughs a little, and he looks at you. “He’s up with Jess.”

You nod. “Go ahead and call him. He’ll worry, honey.” 

He nods, and dials the second number on his speed dial. Jack picks up on the first ring. “Dad?”

“Hey, bud.” Aaron can't hide the smile in his voice. “Your brother is here and your mom wants to talk to you.” 

“Can I come see you?” Jack’s voice wavers a little, and Aaron knows it's relief, rather than anxiety. Much like his son, he was more than a little concerned for your safety. Now that it's over, he can finally relax. 

That alone is enough to make anyone emotional. 

Aaron checks his watch. “Are you too tired to drive?” 

“No, no. I’m good. I slept a little after you guys left.” he's quiet for a second. “Can you hand me to mom?”

“Sure, bud.” Aaron nods at you and you smile. He starts to pass the phone over to you then -

“Oh, dad?” Jack’s voice is only a little urgent. 

Aaron pulls the phone back to his ear. “Yeah?”

“I love you.” 

“I love you too, bud. I want to talk to Aunt Jess when you’re done with mom, so don’t hang up, okay?” 

With that, he hands you the phone and fresh tears roll down your cheeks. You know this part comes in waves - the emotions. Your hormones are in shambles, and you forget how intense it is every time. 

“Hey, Jack.” 

“Are you okay how did it go what happened?” All the questions come out in a rush.

You chuckle. Ouch. “Slow down there, kiddo. We’re just fine. It went really smoothly, but the last part happened kind of all at once and I denied your father personal freedom and geographic agency, so we didn’t get a chance to update you.” 

He laughs, and it warms you. “It’s okay. I’m really excited to meet him.” There’s a shuffle, and you assume it's his keys. 

Baby boy is finished eating, just nosing around your chest at this point. You shift, and Hotch catches the phone and holds it to your ear so you can use two hands, bringing little one’s head right under your collarbone, tucking him up again. “He’s excited to meet you, too.”

After Aaron has a chance to debrief and game-plan with Jess (“If you bring the little ones over here before 10am, nobody will have any fun.”), Jack is on his way. 

In the meantime, Aaron sets his phone on the side table and sits on the edge of your bed. “Are we sticking to the name we picked? Does it feel right?”

You nod. “I think so. What do you think?”

You do your best to inch yourself over - Ouch - so Aaron can have a little more space. He stretches out on the bed next to you, on his side with his arm folded under his head. A very large hand covers yours, pulling the blanket down to little one’s chin. 

“He looks like you,” he says. 

You snort. Ouch. “Don’t lie. All your damn kids look like you.”

“Alright, fine.” He relents with a wide smile. “He looks like me.” 

He's quiet for a moment, tracing the apple of little one’s cheek with his finger.  His smile morphs into something soft, pensive. It's the look he always has when he's in awe of his children. “What do you think, little man? Is your name Elliot David? How’s that sitting with you?”

The Elliot David in question just makes contented little staccato sounds from his chest, his brown eyes looking here and there, surprisingly alert. He lets out a little cough, and both you and Aaron let out an, “Oh!” simultaneously in that drawn-out way parents do when their kids surprise themselves. 

You look at him and stifle a laugh just for the sake of your exhausted muscles. Aaron’s smile soon turns shaky, and tears fall onto his elbow where it rests under his head. He takes a big breath, and it catches on the way out. 

“Oh, honey. Come here.” 

You adjust again, bringing the head of the bed down with the little remote. As you recline, you only need one hand to keep Elliot secure. You raise your other arm, and Aaron scoots under it, resting his head in the crook of your chest and shoulder. He snaps some buttons on your gown in the absent-minded interest of keeping Jack relatively unscarred. 

Aaron’s bare arm is warm under your fingers. You trace little patterns into his skin as he stares at the back of his son’s head. Elliot’s impossibly small hand catches Aaron’s finger in that death grip only babies seem to have. 

Aaron doesn’t care he's nearly twenty-four hours without sleep, missing a shirt, and really hungry. The only things that matter in this moment are right here in front of him. 

There’s no need to speak. 

A nurse stops by and drops off the bedside cradle, speaking quietly. “You can put him in here when you’re ready to get some rest.” 

You look up and thank him. “Oh, and we’d like to finish the birth certificate in a few hours. Will that be alright?”

He nods. “Just fine.” He checks your charts and leaves a few moments later. 

Soon after, the door slips open, and Jack’s head pops in. “Hi!” He stage-whispers. “Lemme see him.” 

Aaron is stuck where he is, still locked in by Elliot’s grip, so Jack crosses to your other side, pulling up a chair as close as he can get it. 

There is a sense of finality to this meeting. Elliot is your last child, and this is the last time the Three Musketeers will sit together, meeting the newest member of their family. 

“Oh man, Mom. He’s so cute.” Jack coos and ducks so he's eye-level with his baby brother. He traces a finger along Elliot’s tiny, straight nose. When he rests his head on your upper arm, you kiss his head. All three of you sit there until the sun rises, watching Elliot fall asleep. Aaron follows suit eventually, his breath fanning slow and even across your chest. 

+++

The three of you are relatively well-rested by the time your family comes to bombard you. 

Elliot woke twice in the early morning - once to be fed and the other to be changed. Jack retreated to the recliner after a certain point, and Aaron threw on a sweatshirt and curled up next to you for the duration. They're still out cold, while you rest somewhere between sleep and wakefulness. 

One of the nurses on rotation pops her head in. You wave at her with the tips of your fingers. 

“Your family is here to see you.” 

That wakes you up. You make an ‘eek’ face. “All of them?”

She nods. “Three at a time?” 

“Please.” You reach over and pick up a neatly-swaddled Elliot and tuck him into your elbow. You check the corner, where Jack still sleeps. You're sure a train could drive through the room and he’d still be out. That kid has sleeping superpowers - being sixteen only helped.  

Jess is first, holding the girls’ hands while Isaac trails a little behind. 

You put a finger to your lips and point to Elliot. “He’s sleeping, so you have to be really quiet, okay?”

Caroline clambers up on the bed with a few reminders to “be gentle with Mom and don’t lean on her too much,” and peers over you. “Is Daddy sleeping?”

You look to your right, and sure enough, Aaron is out like a light again, performance evaluations on his chest, his hand relaxed around his pen. “Yeah, baby. Daddy’s sleeping because he's awake for a really long time helping me with Elliot.” 

Newly reminded of the main event, Caro plants herself by your knee while Sophia sits by your hip, taking the good real estate. You look over at Jess and wink. She slips out, closing the door softly behind her. 

You scoot over so you're flush with Aaron’s side. “Come on up here, bubba.” 

Isaac gives you a little smile and perches at your side. “He’s so small.” 

“Yep. And look at that,” you brush your fingers down Elliot’s nose and tap his cupid bow before doing the same to Isaac. “You have the same nose.” 

Isaac smiles and raises a tentative hand. He hesitates right before he reaches the dark brown peach fuzz that sits in unmanageable cowlicks on Elliot’s head. 

“You can touch him, bub. Just be gentle.” Isaac’s hand smooths over Elliot’s head with next-to-no pressure. “Do you remember when Sophia and Caroline were born?” 

Isaac nods. “It was super cool.”

“It was super cool.” You kiss his forehead and adjust your hold on Elliot. “Sophia, love, can you hand me the pillow that’s by Daddy’s knee.” 

She nods and very carefully presents it to you. You show her how to stuff it under your elbow so you can relax while supporting Elliot’s head. Caro is clearly enamored, her eyes never leaving Elliot’s face. 

“Babies are really delicate,” you remind a wiggling Sophia. “Their heads are too heavy for their little necks, so sometimes they need a little help.” 

At the mention of ‘help,’ Aaron’s eyes snap open. “What’s up?”  

You suppress a laugh as he realizes all of his kids surround him like the children of the corn. He presses a hand to his face, recovering. “Oh. Hi.”

Caro beams at him, and he beams right back. He puts his files down and pats his lap. “Come here, my little love. I’ve got a really good view over here.” 

She very mindfully picks her way over your shins and into her father’s lap. He lifts her so she's flush to his chest. His cheek presses into her hair, and he shows her where to find Elliot’s little baby toes under the blanket. 

“Are his feet very very small?” Caroline’s whispered question almost makes Aaron cry again. 

“Yes. They are very very small. So are his hands. Here, look.” 

He reaches over and peels back a layer of blanket, exposing one of Elliot’s (very very) small hands, pressed flat against the fabric. Aaron wiggles his finger under it and presents it to the kids. “If you look really carefully, you all have the same hands.” 

All at once, three pairs of hands appear, flipping their palms up and down as each one individually assesses the similarities. 

“And if you look even closer,” he says, flipping his palm down, but keeping Elliot’s hand aloft, “I have the same hands as all of you, too.”

Caroline looks up at him, awestruck and he nods. She places her hand on the back of Aaron’s and - lo and behold - they're the same shape, just significantly different sizes. 

Satisfied, Sophia drops her hands, leaning on them to get a closer, yet stable, look at Elliot’s fingers. 

She gasps, but to her credit, keeps her voice soft as she says, “Look at his tiny little nails!” 

“Lemme see!” Aaron supports Caro as she thrusts her body forward to get a better look. 

Jack stirs in the corner, sitting up and rubbing his eyes. In full voice, he says, “Oh, hey guys.” 

Three big shushes come from the kids, and it takes everything in you to keep your laugh locked away. You keep your eyes trained on Sophia (who looks downright offended at Jack’s volume) knowing if you look at Aaron you’d be done for. 

Jack makes the same ‘eek’ face you made earlier. “Sorry, sorry.” He creeps over, standing behind Sophia and putting his hands on her shoulders. She giggles quietly as he drops close to her ear. “Cute, huh?”

She wrinkles her nose. “He looks a little funny.” 

“He’ll start to look more like a person in a few weeks,” Aaron says with a smile. “You looked pretty funny the day you're born, maybe even funnier.”

He winks at her, and she dissolves into a fit of giggles again, leaning back against Jack. As she did so, her brother wrapped her in his arms and rested his chin on her head. 

Isaac runs his hand over Elliot’s hair, gentle and repetitive. He, like Jack did hours earlier, rests his head against your shoulder. You press your cheek to the crown of his head, soaking it in. 

“I like him.” 

A smile breaks your face in half, and you peer around to look at Isaac’s face. “Yeah?”

“Yeah. He’s cool.” 

Your bottom lip disappears into your mouth as you fight back tears, still ready to flow without fair warning. You don’t want to scare them. “I’m so glad you think so, bubba.” 

Elliot has once again taken Aaron’s finger hostage, and it takes more than a little negotiation to get him unwrapped and tucked back into his blanket. You have no idea how Elliot manages to sleep through all the commotion, but then again, he’ll have to get used to it. 

Jess pokes her head back in. “Ready for some lunch?”

Four heads whip around and nod vigorously. Aaron deposits Caro on the floor, while Isaac presses a heart-wrenching kiss to Elliot’s head before gingerly getting his feet back under him. Jack just lifts Sophia and she hangs off his hip, only a little too big. 

He walks to you and kisses your cheek. “I love you, Mom.”

You bring your hand up to his temple, the back of your fingers brushing his hair back. “I love you too, my Jack.” 

One side of his mouth turns up in a smile, and he leaves the room with Sophia, leading the rest of the pack down the hallway. 

+++

It's safe to say Dave immediately covets his namesake. You plop Elliot into his arms right away, and say, “This is Elliot David Hotchner. He’s been very excited to meet you.”

Dave full-on cries, letting the tears just fall onto his shirt as he bounces Elliot all around the room, talking to him about all the ways he’ll spoil him rotten. 

It’s easy to name him after Rossi. When you finally decided on a couple of first names, it was a no-brainer to pair them up with David. He’s your family, like they all are, but you're acutely aware that Elliot will have the smallest amount of time with Dave, no matter how much time that will be. 

When Dave is ready to give him up, he reluctantly passes him back to Aaron. Dave crosses to you while Aaron offers Elliot a knuckle to mouth around on. 

Dave kisses your cheeks and embraces you. He leans back to look at you, keeping his hands on your face. You cover his hands with your own and close your eyes. 

You're taking a lot of mental pictures today. 

He presses a kiss to your forehead, and you're sure you see Aaron’s one-handed camera work out of the corner of your eye. 

“Thank you, bellissima.” 

“You’ve more than earned it,” you remind him.  

“Dealing with you two for fifteen years? You’re damn right I have.”

+++

a joyful future tag list:  @arganfics @quillvine @stxrryspencer @agenthotchner @wandaswitxh @hurricanejjareau @fics-ilike @ange-must-die @ughitsbaby @rousethemouse @criminalsmarts @dr-reid-ismyspiritanimal @shrimpyblog @genevievedarcygranger @ssaic-jareau @saintd0lce @good-heavens-chris-evans @angelsbabey @gublergirls @writefasttalkevenfaster @venusbarnes @vintagecaptainspidey @micaiahmoonheart @ogmilkis @thatreallyis-americas-ass @marvels-agents100 @newtslatte @risenfox @mrs-dr-reid @captain-christopher-pike @joemazzello-imagines @pinkdiamond1016 @sebbybaby0 @pan-pride-12 @hotchlinebling @lee-rin-ah @sunshine-em @word-scribbless @jdougl-love @sageellsworth05 @emmice9 @nohalohoseok @giveusbackourbucky @bauslut @yourlovelynewsbian @sparklingkeylimepie @aili28 @kingandrear @reader4027 @spnobsessedmemes @rogers-mouth @dreila03 @forgottenword @aaronhotchnerr @ssa-morgan @hotchnersgoddess @buckybau @phoenixfyre374 @sana-li @tegggeeee @abschaffer2 @ssacandi-ass-prentiss @thatinspiredgirl @songbird400 @dontkissthewriter @ellyhotchner @a-dorky-book-keeper @lotties-journey-abroad @mrs-joel-pimentel-23-25 @laneygthememequeen @ahopelessromantic @violentvulgarvolatile @andreasworlsboring101 @mooneylupinblack @ssareidbby @violet-amxthyst @bwbatta @roses-and-grasses @synonymforlame @lcvischmitt

[amwritingmeta]

15x18: The Most Loving

I’ve indulged. All day, I’ve indulged in this episode. In all of it. But, yes, mostly this scene. I’ve made gifs. And watched this scene. Obsessively. What’s life? THIS is life right now. This is the air in my lungs and the joy in my chest and, oh, my loveliest lovelies, I know you’re right there with me. Gods!

Too bad Dean doesn’t love Cas back, huh?

KIDDING. 

Just kidding. He does. I believe it more strongly than ever. *fingers crossed and sprinklings of salt* But let’s have a look at why I believe it more strongly than ever, shall we? Yes we shall! (let’s see if I get through this without crying) (highly doubtful) (update: I didn’t)

Let’s start with Dean. He’s a very good place to start.

Look at how what Cas is about to say to Dean, all those beautiful soul-affirming things he’s about to share, is set up right there, in this moment, with Dean losing hope by the second, moving softly from anger into a despair that makes him see his anger clearly, just not the root of it.

The shining brightly detail here is that the frustration and the fear don’t make him defensive, which, to me, is important because the immediate naming of the anger, without hesitation, the awareness of it, the quiet acceptance of how he got them here, leading into that gentle “I’m sorry” is like his character progression this season just balled up into one glorious half-minute of character insight: his, and ours.

With the good -- that immediate apology -- comes the bad, though -- the thinking of himself as an arrow of killer instinct, lacking control of this thing inside him when it takes over and not knowing what to do about it or how to fight it.

This thing being?

His anger.

And what is it symptomatic of?

Well, I would say his Shadow. His unconscious. His repressed emotions. His inability to be honest with himself. Which leads to frustration with himself. A feeling of perpetual alarm. He can never just be himself, because he never feels as though he’s enough. 

And feelings are weaknesses that will get you killed.

And his mother died when he was so young and shook him out of any sense of stability, and he’s longed for home, love, family ever since, but every time he’s dared dream or dared believe or even hope, something has happened to take good things away, because good things don’t last.

Not in Dean’s experience.

So the happiness of home, love, family has always been equated with pain. With hurt. With loss. So it was easier not to think an actual future was in the cards for him. Easier to push it down and begin to believe that he can’t possibly be loved for who he is, because what he is, is a killer.

What he is, deep down, is a monster.

His true identity has been covered up by toxic masculinity armour and he’s lost all sense of his true self, out of fear of rejection he has continuously rejected himself and out of fear of failure, failing to Protect Sammy -- a purpose so tightly bound to Dean’s sense of identity that anything threatening it has instantly been perceived as a threat to Dean’s entire understanding of himself -- Dean has bought into the lie that feelings are weaknesses and that, to survive, he had to walk in his father’s exact footsteps.

And of course it hasn’t helped that John’s revenge trip stemmed entirely from losing the love of his life. Luckily, Dean has seen his parents reunited. Luckily, Dean knows they’re now together, happily so, in their shared Heaven. If he can internalise this knowledge and accept it as a good thing, then there’s a basis for healing right there.

Leaving that behind because now here we are, with Dean verbalising his view of himself (hopefully for the last time) which has kept him perpetually in a pattern of behaviour that has been, at its root, self-destructive because of his lack of ability to love himself and see himself worthy of being loved.

Cas doesn’t go all “Dean” on Dean for no reason. 

He goes all Dean on Dean because he knows better than to agree when Dean claims all he knows how to do is hunt and kill and be guided by fury and the vengeance mode that his father’s image has left like an imprint all over Dean’s personality. 

And Cas is about to tell us how much better that better truly is.

*i’m cry*

The beginning of the better is linked to Dean’s instant apology, his instant admittance that he was wrong, brought by him recognising his mistake, realising he let his anger lead him once again. 

(just like he did when he shut Cas out and made Cas feel he had no choice but to leave the bunker and strike out on his own) (because Dean refused to apologise for behaving like a stubborn dickhead yeah?)

And this instant apology is... well. It’s Jensen Ackles style beautiful. Because->

->the apology starts here, with this absolutely devastated look at Cas, as though Dean thinks Cas doesn’t want to be here, with him -- he wants to be with Sam and with Jack -- and Dean is keeping him from seeing out their final hours with his entire family. And so->

But the apology, sincere and selfless and wishing there was some way out of this situation because Dean would save Cas from this fate in an instant if he could, triggers Cas’ realisation that there’s something he can do to save Dean.

Because?

Well, I would hope it’s because the narrative is rewarding Dean for learning the lesson of having so much self-awareness that it doesn’t take him ten and some episodes to land in an apology. It takes him less than five minutes into this scenario to admit that his choices were the wrong ones. To Cas, but more importantly to himself.

So then, reward time, and Cas’ brain starts working overtime as he remembers who Death is afraid of, what might be powerful enough to conquer Death itself.

It would be... everything if this moment is actually about how the defeat of Death has nothing to do with showcasing the power of the Shadow, but of what Cas’ honesty and open heart leads to: his moment of integration. 

Finding internal balance, as he’s no longer suppressing or repressing anything inside of him, but can face all of his emotions head on. No more self-deception and no more confusion. Only clarity.

And if this moment, in the broader sense, is about what brought that moment of integration on: Cas’ love for Dean.

Meaning the one thing powerful enough to conquer Death itself, really, is love.

Wouldn’t that be something? Isn’t that what has conquered Death over and over again in this narrative? Yes. It truly is. To have it stated unequivocally would be spectacular.

Now, I would look at both of them in this post, only, it’s already a long post, so let’s focus on Dean, because though I could talk for eons about what this means for Cas’ arc and it culminating in such a glorious act of self-actualisation, I believe what it means for Dean may play an even bigger role moving forward. *fingers crossed*

Cas reaches the realisation of how he can use the Empty for the purpose of defeating Death, yeah, and Cas reveals this realisation to Dean by finally laying all the cards on the table.

Cas: When Jack was dying, I made a deal to save him. Dean: You what? Cas: The price was my life.

And at Cas telling Dean that this deal, that Cas has kept from him, means Cas has bargained away his life, Dean’s face does this-->

Look... at how... his eyes... widen... with the sheer... shock and terror of that statement and then... there’s that soft... or so I see it... understanding that Cas once again has done that thing he does: he’s put himself on the chopping block. As if he doesn’t matter. (remind us of someone?)

So the first bit of information is that Cas has given his life for Jack’s and that he is, basically, a dead man (angel) walking.

Right. Shock and terror.

Then Cas delivers this gut-punch:

Cas: When I experienced a moment of true happiness, the Empty would be summoned and it would take me, forever.

And Dean’s face does this->

It’s like his brain is start-stuttering... true happiness?... the Empty?... summoned?... taken forever??... And then he’s like, wait what? What does this have to do with anything?

And he challenges this strange pick of a moment to share all these things by asking:

How exactly is this relevant in this moment in time, Cas? I don’t understand.

Because he really doesn’t. He does not have a clue for the entirety of this exchange, even with Cas stating that the one thing Death fears, the one thing strong enough to defeat her is the Empty, and they know the Empty can only come when summoned. They’ve talked about it, not that long ago, and still, Dean’s brain is not putting two and two together.

Because he would never, not for one second, ever equate Cas’ true happiness as having anything to do with him. Not ever.

All he can think is... well, wouldn’t all he can think be that he was about to get them both killed, and now Cas is telling him this other way he’ll die, so even if they did make it out of there alive, Cas is... what? As good as dead? No matter what? There’s this premeditated way that Cas has set up for him to die that Cas hasn’t told him about. Cas dead in all the scenarios presented to him right now is all Dean can focus on.

And so Cas begins to explain himself.

Cas: I always wondered, ever since I took that burden, that curse, I wondered what my true happiness could even look like. 

And Dean looks like this. 

To me, because Dean’s deepest fear is happiness.

And because his brain is trying to make sense of what is happening, but it looks like there’s white noise going on, like all he can think is What Is This What Are You Trying To Tell Me I Do Not Understand Cas Something About Happiness Why Are You Talking To Me About Happiness I Can’t Help You!

And then Cas takes it a step further, and tells Dean this:

Cas: I never found an answer, because the one thing I want, it’s something I know I can’t have.

And Dean is like... what is it??

And of course, Cas obliges, because there’s no turning back. Oh, Cas. 

Cas: But I think I know… I think I know now, happiness isn’t in the having, it’s in just being. It’s in just saying it. 

And Dean is getting softly defensive, worried at this point that this is headed somewhere wholly new and unexplored and the expression on Cas’ face is starting to get to him, those eyes already shining with tears and the earnestness all over him, and Dean doesn’t want to not listen to him, but he also doesn’t like the not understanding what the hell is going on, so->

And Cas isn’t about to slow down.

Cas: I know how you see yourself, Dean. You see yourself the same way our enemies see you...

And this is barking exactly the way Dean was afraid of: honesty. So much honesty. And Dean is taking it in like he’s still wondering what exactly this is. Is this Cas’ idea of a deathbed confession, because Dean’s not sure he wants to hear this... but...

Cas: ...you’re destructive and you’re angry and you’re broken—you’re daddy’s blunt instrument. 

At the mention of John, Dean starts to reign himself in. He’s starting to shed the confusion for the understanding that Cas is about to speak a whole lot of truth and he’s just gonna have to hear it. So he begins steeling himself. Hence the first hard swallow.

Cas: And you think that hate and anger, that’s… that’s what drives you, that’s who you are… It’s not.

I like to read this as the words “It’s not” being the last thing Dean ever expected to hear. He looks so completely taken aback. He was, because it’s his modus operandi, most likely expecting judgement at this moment (because he fucked up and brought them here) and rejection, because he always expects it and always thinks he deserves it.

And instead, he gets what he needs most. He gets told to see himself through Cas’ eyes. Because (hopefully) it’s the only way Dean can finally recognise his true identity and stop hiding from it as if it’s an abomination.

Cas: And everyone who knows you sees it. Everything you have ever done—the good and the bad—you have done for love. 

And Dean reacts the same way he reacted when Cas told him that the price to save Jack had been Cas’ life: look at the slight widening of the eyes, look at the furrowed brow -> shock and terror.

Because love?

Cas: You raised your little brother for love, you fought for this whole world for love. That is who you are. 

And Dean lets the words sink in somewhat, but still... this is not how he sees himself, this is not his understanding of himself, of who he is. It’s so far from it, but this is Cas saying these things and wait...

...this is how Cas sees him?

Cas isn’t done, of course.

Cas: You’re the most caring man on Earth. You are the most selfless, loving human being I will ever know. 

And Dean is about to start crying too, but he keeps the emotion back. Look at those clenched jaws, the hard swallow, the set expression. Determined not to just lose it. 

But he’s close. Nostrils flaring, lips trembling, he’s fighting back the tears like, no, I will not bawl my eyes out.

Cas: You know, ever since we met, ever since I pulled you out of Hell, knowing you has changed me. 

And Dean just...

This very nearly breaks the dam. He’s just swallowing down those tears like there’s no tomorrow. He refuses to cry, even now, even when his body is like Give Me An Outlet For All These Feelings. 

But naw.

Stoic stoic stoic.

Cas: Because you cared—I cared. I cared about you… I cared about Sam, I cared about Jack… but I cared about the whole world because of you.

And Dean begins to have this ice-cold feeling run through him... that Cas is saying all these things for a reason...

And all Dean can do is listen...

Cas: You changed me, Dean.

And he looks so defeated. Because he can’t even imagine having to say goodbye. And there was that other moment of dickheadery, not that long ago, when Cas left him that still smarts. 

One where Cas said some truths before walking out the door of the bunker, and Dean thought he’d fixed it with that prayer, but this feels reminiscent. It feels like Cas is gearing up to push even harder than he already has, and like Cas thinks Dean’s response will warrant him leaving.

And Cas confirms this is not the beginning, but the end.

Cas: Because it is. 

Oh. Oh no. No, you don’t. 

But Cas does. He really does.

Don’t put me in this corner.

But that’s not even close to what’s actually happening, is it?

Dean has completely forgotten how this conversation started. He’s forgotten about Death at their door, he’s forgotten about the mention of the Empty, because all he can think about is how Cas sees him as a selfless, loving human being, who has changed him for the better. 

And he comes across as though all he can think is that this is too much.

And Cas mirrors his head shake...

...because all I can see here is how Cas wants Dean to take it in now. The truth of it. He wants Dean to hear him. To know that he’s loved and deserving of it, not deny it or refuse it.

And Dean, for just the breath of a second, thinks don’t, Cas. Don’t make me question my entire self-view. Because I will.

Because though he cannot deal, he can’t lose Cas again either, as this episode has gone to great lengths to tell us. (like how he stepped between Cas and Billie plus all the loss of one half of couples that’s threaded through the ep)

And then all thoughts are interrupted. The Empty arrives. Moment of true happiness style. It has been said, and Cas is... well.

And the door opens as Billie breaks through.

And Dean turns to Cas and his face is wearing this expression->

As he says “Cas?” because he still don’t understand why this is goodbye. He doesn’t get that it’s goodbye because it has to be. Because Cas is about to sacrifice himself to save him...

And then we get this expression as Dean responds with that stunned 

“What?”->

Because he wouldn’t have pushed Cas away for saying I love you. Sure he was internally having a mild fit, and he’d need a moment or two to gather his thoughts, and perhaps he’d have to say no, you don’t a few times, and have Cas say yes, I do, back in order to really convince him, but that goodbye... 

That was supposed to happen only if Dean didn’t get his shit together.

And Dean would have gotten his shit together. He just needed a bit more time.

So for Cas to go ahead with the goodbye, even as Dean sees the Empty entering through that wall, is nonsensical. Hence the “What?”. 

What do you mean I love you goodbye? 

And then...

Oh that handprint.

Please let it be a symbol for putting the past to rest and moving forward into a healthy now, with hope for the future. Oh, Cas, please come back. And Dean, please instigate the return. You are loved because you deserve it. And you deserve good things and to be happy. Both of them do. Gods, I hope they get to be happy together.

*please please please please*

[slashnatic]

May I request Jason, Bubba and/or Thomas losing their s/o by maybe them leaving or getting kidnapped. And lets say it's been a few months and they find them! What do our big bois do?

uhmm, so i divided this into two separate headcanons for each slasher, but the kidnapping one turned out different than it should. i only noticed when i was done writing it so i‘m sorry :) anyways, i like the request a lot and i possibly will write another actual imagine about this :)

Jason Voorhees Headcanons

How does Jason react when his s/o leaves him?

When he wakes up one morning without you there he immediately starts worrying, but he tries to calm himself down by telling himself that you probably only went for a “morning swim“ in the lake or something of that kind. He knows you’re strong and capable of taking care of yourself so he waits for you.

After he waits for a couple of hours without you returning he starts searching. His actions are calm but his mind is racing.

He knows the camp like the back of his hand so he knows something isn‘t right when he doesn’t find you. He doesn‘t care that he‘s been searching the forest for hours, he‘ll go on a second search.

Once he is certain that he won‘t find you he goes back to the cabin and just sits around numbly. He doesn‘t know what to do now, how he should react, how he‘s feeling. He only knows he wants you back.

When the sun rises again the realization actually hits him. He has mixed emotions, but he‘s mostly angry at himself and scared for you. His primary feeling is sadness though. He starts crying with the first thing he‘s doing which he usually would do together with you and it will happen a lot more times throughout the day.

He makes it a part of his schedule to look for you once a day. He always searches for you with the same determination.

After a few months go by without you he is almost completely back to his old self, acting like some kind of emotionless robot, but he never stops searching for you. He still loves you and he misses you everyday.

When he finds you one morning he doesn‘t believe it at first. Is he going completely insane now? He stares at you for a couple of minutes, no matter if you’ve noticed him or not, before he reacts. Then he suffocates you in a hug. He‘s overwhelmed by his emotions and starts to cry again. Without you being there to take care of him he‘s kept his emotions locked up and they all break free when he feels you in his arms.

He doesn‘t ask questions. If you went away because you wanted to be alone, if you needed a break, if you simply got lost on your way to your “morning swim“, he doesn‘t care. You‘re back now and that‘s all that matters.

Afterwards he always keeps an extra eye on you, making sure you‘re one hundred percent satisfied with your living situation in any way, shape or form and also making sure you don‘t get hurt or lost. If he didn‘t devote his whole existence to you before, he will now.

How does Jason react when his s/o gets kidnapped?

He knows something‘s wrong immediately. Jason knows you and the camp better than anyone else, so when you‘re not where you’re supposed to be he comes to your rescue right away.

He doesn‘t have any issue finding you. He‘ll track down whoever kidnapped you in less than an hour for sure. He‘s skilled and smart.

He is worried the whole time. He is scared of why they kidnapped you, what they want from you, what they might do to you. He beats himself up over this because he thinks he should have been there to protect you. Nevertheless he stays calm and he honestly believes he‘s going to find you.

Once he did find you he goes kinda crazy, but it won‘t last long. He makes short shrift of whoever dared to take you away from him. It‘s quite the carnage, actually. He basically rips them to shreds, but only takes a few minutes to do so. After he‘s done he takes care of you, going from maniac killer to romance novel boyfriend in the matter of seconds. After inspecting and most importantly hugging you he simply scoops you up and carries you all the way back to the cabin, stroking your hair, cheek, arm or really any body part of you he can reach.

He won‘t let you leave the cabin without him by your side for quite a while after...forever, actually. It‘s annoying sometimes, but he does it because he loves you. Because he is scared to lose you, because he can‘t live without you. He needs you. If he has to take extra care of you to make sure you‘re alright he‘s more than glad to do so.

Bubba Sawyer Headcanons

How does Bubba react when his s/o leaves him?

Panic. Absolute panic. Bubba and you have a routine for everything. And you do most parts of your routines together, so the moment he notices you are not there he freaks out.

He doesn‘t consider that you actually left at first, he rather thinks something happened to you, that you got hurt. When you don‘t return after a day his brothers start giving him shit for it, or at least declaring that they strongly believe you left him. Bubba understands. He understands what they mean and he understands you.

He thinks he did something wrong, but he doesn‘t think it‘s specifically about him as a person. It‘s not that he is extremely confident but rather that that‘s just his mindset. He believes he did something that upset you in some kind of way.

He searches for you often, not daily but around two times a week. He thinks about you the whole time. He doesn‘t believe that you will come back, but he hopes you wil come back and that feeling completely overpowers the thought of living without you forever. He basically tries to ignore that you decided to leave and just lives in his head, in his little wonderland which is built on the thought that you just went for a walk or something of that sort and will be back soon.

He spends a lot of time with making presents for you or cleaning your shared bedroom, really anything he can come up with which he thinks you would be happy about. After all he thinks he did something wrong and wants to make it up to you like that.

There are nights though when he lies awake thinking he wasn‘t good enough and you finally left. That he‘s going to die alone, craving your love until the day of his death. He cries a lot thinking about that, but when he wakes up in the morning he decides to just go back to his little wonderland.

When you come back his wonderland falls completely apart. He is confronted with every thought he tried to ignore when he sees you and he cries again, a lot. It‘s actually you who has to comfort him. He doesn‘t even have the chance to say hello to you because he breaks down before he could. When you hug him to comfort him he clutches you as if his life depended on it. He decides when the hug ends, not because he wants to force you to hug him, but because he is so lost in the feeling of your body embracing his, that he simply forgets to let go and he is too strong for you to get free.

He wants an explanation but he is too shy to ask for it. What matters most is that you’re back though, you can give him the explanation later anyway. Now, presents. He is very proud of everything he did for you while you were away and will patiently watch you unwrap every single piece (just pretend he didn‘t use human skin to wrap your presents).

For the next months you constantly receive gifts, but he will eventually go back to normal over the time. He‘ll make sure you‘re happy all the time though, he can‘t risk losing you again. When you are there his little wonderland is real.

How does Bubba react when his s/o gets kidnapped?

As mentioned before, Bubba and you have your routines. If something is different than usual he‘ll notice it immediately and he‘ll immediately think you‘re hurt.

There is basically zero need for you to worry, as he will grab the chainsaw and search for you. Sure, maybe you’ve only fell down the stairs and need a few minutes to recover, but he wants to make sure.

It‘s very unlikely that a kidnapper would get very far. Due to your routines you’re barely ever far apart, so he’d most likely find them almost immediately. It‘s pretty simple from there too, he kills them, takes care of you and for the rest of your lives there won’t be a single minute of your routines which you don’t spend together. Sure, he beats himself up over what happened, but he‘s also very eager to do what needs to be done to prevent that this will ever happen again.

If your kidnapper were to actually take you away though he‘d be a complete mess. He thinks it‘s his fault only, that he didn’t go after his responsibilities as your lover and caretaker right and will become super depressed. He sleeps less than usual, when he does he has nightmares, but when he‘s awake you‘d think he‘s actually sleeping. It‘s like he is a robot whose battery needs to be changed and now he‘s on low power mode, shortly before shutting down.

Of course he searches for you too, but he‘s more busy mourning than actually acting on it. That doesn‘t mean he doesn‘t search at all though. When he finds you he acts similar to how he‘d react if you left. He will kill your kidnapper first but he won‘t pay too much attention to them. All his attention is on you. He cries for what feels like hours to both him and you, he‘ll hug you and he won‘t let go. He also definitely carries you back to the house bridal style.

Thomas Hewitt Headcanons

How does Thomas react when his s/o leaves him?

He is broken, absolutely destroyed, but not surprised. It doesn‘t take long for him to put the pieces together and he honestly saw it coming.

He is sad, cries a few times, but forces himself to move on. It doesn‘t actually work, he still thinks about you every damn second of the day, he even dreams about you almost every night, but he is good at pretending to be alright. Or at least at pretending he isn‘t heartbroken.

He is also angry. If you think his past victims were suffering you don‘t want to know what happens to the people who came after you were gone. He is not actually a bad person. He started killing people at some point, he didn‘t stop and he doesn’t have a hobby, so this is the only way to cope with his feelings for him.

He doesn‘t blame you though. This isn‘t your fault, you did nothing wrong. You are perfect and it was just a matter of time until you‘d decide you wanted someone else. He understands you and he forgives you the second he realizes you are gone. Although he is sad and angry he still wants you to be happy.

Because of the mindset he has he won‘t search for you. You wanted another life and you deserve it. Who is he to stop you?

When you come back he has mixed emotions and is very distant towards you. Honestly, at first he thinks you just forgot something and came back to get it. When you declare that you are back because of him he just stares at you. Then he starts shaking. It‘s barely noticeable at first, but when he gasps you realize he is crying. It doesn‘t take much to convince him to let you back in from there. When he feels your arms around him and your lips on his forehead he is all yours again.

He wants to know why you left but he‘s also scared of your answer. Nevertheless Thomas confronts himself with his fears, always, at least when it comes to you. He‘ll only ask after a few months have passed though.

Once you‘re back he needs time to process everything and you definitely need to repeat some steps which you took before you left (concerning your relationship). He is happy that you‘re back though and he gets very handsy. He was shy about that before, but now you‘re back here and feeling you is proof to him that it‘s real. That you actually want him. He unknowingly becomes a bit better at being in a relationship.

How does Thomas react when his s/o gets kidnapped?

In all honesty, he doesn‘t notice it at first. Relationship or not, he is busy with work almost all the time and you have to work too since you‘re now officially a part of the family. Not seeing you for a few hours is nothing special.

When you‘re not waiting in bed for him at the end of the day he knows something‘s wrong though. He knows you’re strong and independent, so he asks the family first if they have seen you. Then he searches for you. When he can‘t find you he knows something happened. As mentioned before he is able to put the pieces together, in this case there are a lot of reasons for him to know that it wasn‘t your choice to leave (mostly visitors from earlier and the family‘s statements after he asked if they had seen you).

He won‘t let them get away with you. There isn’t really any chance for them to actually kidnap you. He takes the chainsaw and runs. It will definitely get messy. He doesn‘t care about anything but your safety in that moment. But he is fucking pissed. It‘s definitely an unpleasant scene.

He carries you home bridal style, no matter if you‘re hurt or not. Although Thomas isn‘t an extremely sexual person, he will make love to you once your safe back at home. Don’t even try to repay him for his actions, he makes love to you, this isn’t about him. Feeling your body reacting to whatever he does is a sign that you’re alive and well, he can be extremely affectionate without talking and he can make you feel like heaven good.

But before that happens he needs to be calmed down, he needs to be comforted. And he needs to comfort you.

The event does change quite a lot. You will work less and spend more time with Thomas. He has an eye on you for one, and two, he can also show you affection more since the lack of that due to him always working is something he feels guilty about. Luda Mae makes sure that you work less and even if you wanted to help she wouldn‘t let you. You are part of the family and ever single member takes care of you.

[grilledcheeseandguavajelly]

36. 38. - Billie x Allyson

36. What’s their greatest strength as a couple? Their weakness? 

Their greatest strength is communication. 

But because of this they tend to argue a lot. 

It’s never anything big, and it always works out in the end. 

Their biggest weakness, unfortunately, is Oz. 

Billie’s not great with kids. As much as she tries and as much as she actually is great with kids, she doesn’t think she’s good with them. 

And try as Ally might, she doesn’t sit super comfortably with Billie being a medium and also alone with her son. Not after everything he’s been through. 

When Ally needs someone to pick Oz up from school or stay with him while she works late, Billie always offers if she’s not working. 

Ally always kind of brushes her off, and Billie tries not to let it bother her. 

But after the fourteenth time or so, it starts manifesting as Ally not trusting her, and that sets Billie on edge. 

Like I said, communication is their strength, so they inevitably discuss it. But this is a big one, vulnerable for both of them. 

It’s Ally’s son, and Billie knows she has no right to push. 

And it’s Billie’s gift, which Ally knows she has no right to question. And she has no way of explaining that that’s what is making her hesitate without Billie inevitably getting upset. Because she can’t help it. 

So those conversations always go half-formed, never really dug into and never really settled. 

There was one day when Ally forgot she had a Very Important Meeting and was rushing to make it on time. All three of her sitters had fallen through and she knew Billie had only been filming in the morning. 

So she caved, and she called. 

And as nervous as Billie was, as much as she wanted to say no now that the situation was actually here and she was confronted with the fact that she would have to keep Oz entertained for hours until Ally got home, she swallowed her insecurity and said yes. 

Ally had thrown some casual instructions at her on how to keep him entertained — 

“Just put on a movie and make him macaroni, I’ll do his homework with him once I’m home”

— and Billie had tried not to let it offend her. 

The drive home from school had been a bit awkward, but once they got to Ally’s house and Billie took Oz’s backpack from him, things had settled down. 

He was an easy kid, and he seemed to like Billie a lot. 

And Billie realized, after he had said he was hungry and followed her into the kitchen with wide eyes to watch her prepare his snack, that he was curious. Just like she had been when she was little. 

He just wanted to watch the world work and absorb everything that he could. 

So she let him sit up on the counter and watch her cut up cheese and salami. Asked him about his day. Explained everything she was doing, step by step. 

And they just talked. 

He seemed to find her interesting, and Billie realized about an hour in that he liked her. 

So she relaxed and went full mom mode, and by the time Ally got home his homework was finished and he was bathed and fed and put to bed. 

She was 100% the cool mom, and Oz was more than willing to do whatever she asked, not even giving her trouble when she told him he had to cut his TV time short and go get ready for bed. 

And Ally had never been so impressed. 

Billie teased her about not trusting her while they ate their own dinner. And after soft kisses and low murmurs turned into hot, slow sex, Ally finally admitted that she hadn’t. 

And that she had been wrong. 

And they finally had that hard conversation that neither of them had been fully prepared for until it was practically already settled. 

After that, Ally trusted Billie. 

Even when she came home to Oz sat up on the counter with a lollipop in his mouth. 

Even after he threw a fit when Ally told him to take a bath, and immediately listened when Billie repeated the request. 

Ally had forgotten what co-parenting was like, but she also had never really known. 

Billie was always open to listen and communicate and discuss, where Ivy had been argumentative and pushy. 

And as Ally watched Billie tuck Oz into bed one night, pressing a kiss to his forehead as he murmured a sleepy “night, mummy” she realized with a start that she wasn’t upset. She was happy. 

Her biggest fear was that Oz would get between them. That she would have to leave Billie behind to do what was best for her son. 

But everything had worked out. 

And with the way they always checked in and Billie always listened to her about the big things, Ally had no doubt in her mind that they would be just fine. 

38. What are they like in the bedroom? Any kinks/fetishes/turn-ons? Anything they won’t do?

It’s intense. 

I’m not going to lie. 

Ally had used to think she liked using toys and loved the rush of getting off on something totally different than the feel of her partner. 

But Billie is a fucking lady killer and there’s no way that Ally could imagine wanting anything other than Billie touching her and licking her and inside of her. 

And it works out perfectly, because Billie loves to touch. 

She wants to feel every single one of Ally’s moans, the way they vibrate through her body and the tiny shift as her fingers and toes curl into the sheets. 

While Ally always thought of herself as a switch, she loves when Billie spoils her. 

She’s usually trembling when Billie gets her fingers on her. 

But when Billie gets particularly needy, fingers wandering at state dinner parties and tiny pleas in Ally’s ear, Ally is more than happy to top. 

And Billie loves pushing her down into the bed as Ally tops her from the bottom. 

Billie Dean grinding on Ally’s stomach with her hands in her hair as she throws her head back and makes the most delicious sounds. 

And you’d better believe Ally would be kneading her ass like there was no tomorrow.

It inevitably ends with Billie in charge because she just can’t help herself. 

Ally loves to be edged, as much as she would never admit it. 

And Billie loves the way Ally gasps and pants, hands always flying out to her hair or her shoulders or her waist. 

And the way Ally touches her, always pushing and pressing and massaging, counter so perfectly with Billie’s light, purposeful touches. The way she drags her nails down Ally’s thighs. 

Billie found out pretty early on that Ally was insatiably sensitive on the inside of her thighs, and watching her back arch as Billie kissed and scratched and bit there, before even coming close to Ally’s core, got to Billie like nothing else. 

And Ally’s stamina. 

Billie had never met someone who ever came close to her before. 

But that first time, when she had ravished Ally for hours before she finally lost her patience and begged, and then when Ally had flipped them over and done the same for Billie before asking to go again, Billie had almost cried. 

They could go for days if they wanted to. 

And usually their fucking is a continuation of the night before, their days just tiny breaks in a longer conversation. 

Billie Dean is an ass woman and Ally has a great ass. 

Ally is obsessed with Billie’s hands, and as much as she hates to admit it, simply watching Billie flick her lighter shut with the palm of her hand is enough to set her squirming. 

Billie loves the way Ally dresses. Has done from day one. 

Those big sweaters and tight jeans are enough to fuel her darkest fantasies, and the way Ally lets her touch her, even while fully clothed, makes Billie feel so trusted and so loved. 

Also? Billie in heels. 

Where Ally’s style drives Billie crazy, Ally absolutely cannot handle herself when Billie is in heels and her hips sway in that way and she gains a few inches on her. 

It shouldn’t have been A Thing™️. But it was. It really, really was. 

And maybe Ally has too much fun flipping the switch and pulling Billie’s dress off and topping her in nothing but her heels. 

When Billie is in heels, Ally goes full top. Shoving and pushing until Billie’s hair is fanned out on the pillow and frizzing as Ally pounds her fingers into her. 

Because Ally loves the sting of her heel scraping down her back when Billie hooks her leg over Ally’s shoulder.

NO ASS PLAY COME ON. 

It’s not that they won’t do toys. It’s just that they don’t want to. 

There’s no need for them, when Billie wants to touch and be touched and have that contact. 

So after Billie opened Ally’s drawer and found them, and asked hesitantly, Ally said no. 

And Billie had ravished her. 

Other than that, there’s not much they won’t do, but Billie is always careful not to push Ally and Ally is always careful not to wear Billie out. 

Tag List: @thatgirlintheleatherjacket @shineestark @duchessfics @darling-dontforgetme @midnight-lestrange @nerdaroo @pradababey @mssallymckenna

[gildedmuse]

So I seem to remember promising more Sora: Warrior Of The Sea Beach Episode. And by "seem to remember" I mean, it's in writing and thus hard to ignore. So despite the fact that none of you care, guess what? You're getting more of this ZoLaw AU.

First off, every member of the cast and crew understands the purpose of a beach episode: to waste time at the beach. Which means that everyone pulls up with swim trunks, blankets, grills and umbrellas. They are basically there to have a beach vacation.

I say everyone. Not Law. Law does not come prepared to party, he comes prepared to be pissy. But like everyone else (Yes, even Mihawk. Though technically only due to Shank's influence. Shanks forces him is what I'm saying. "Hey, even Beckmen is joining in the fun!" / "Benn always joins in these ridiculous games." / "What? My Beckmen? No! He's usually so mature and serious." / "He only seems that way compared to you. Because you are a child.")

The resulting shoot is pretty much pure chaos. Perona and Hancock are more interested in sunbathing than acting. Killer is kicking everyone's ass at volleyball. Franky and Ace are having a grill off to see who makes the better hamburgers and hot dogs (Sanji would totally win except that Pudding-Chan is right there and in a bikini and look, at some point it's difficult to care about things that aren't that.) Zoro and Luffy, meanwhile, are pretty much exactly the children you expect them to be, much to Robin's amusement. Look, she wrote a scene where Sora and Daichi "play wrestle" in the sea, but it has nothing on the actual thing. Because Zoro can often be oblivious and because, you know, Luffy she is sure they don't mean for it to look so homoerotic. It's just a shame Nami isn't here to capitalize on this. She could definitely sell Zoro pinning Luffy to the sand or Luffy wrapping around Zoro like he's made of rubber for more than a few quid.

Law is not enjoy this shoot.

Even when Benn finally gains enough control to start getting actual work done (you'd be surprised how authoritative Mihawk can be even in purple swim trunks) it soon becomes clear that this is going to be a longer than normal shoot. Not because the logistics, just people are not even trying. Ace will just start smiling in the middle of a scene where he shouldn't be smiling, and because Zoro really takes his cues on acting from Ace he'll immediately start smiling regardless of the line. Then Sanji will get angry with them both, which Pudding will think is adorable, thus leading to Sanji forgetting the script entirely to pay attention to her. Perona will tell Zoro off and get too close in his face, which will make Luffy jump in to "protect his virtue" (on order from Nami) which will make Boa jealous because how dare another woman be so close to her Luffy. Which will make Ace and Zoro annoyed which will make Robin giggle, which will distract Franky which will ultimately lead to the effects not working like they should, which will cause Shachi, Penguin, and Ikkaku to huddle up (definitely not them just laying on the sand and enjoying the day out) which of course gets Shanks and Mihawk's attention. Shanks tries to separate Perona and Luffy while Mihawk gives Zoro and Ace The Look which, despite his still authoritative aura is SLIGHTLY less effective when he's standing there in just swim trunks. Curse Shanks. So in the end, with a heavy sigh, he has to go train instruct Zoro in what he should actually be doing in the scene which somehow ends up with his hands at Zoro's bare waist as he goes through it all yet again.

Law HATES this. Fucking. Shoot.

Which is why he is so close to just leaving, as per Robin's suggestion. They don't need him there. Clearly. They can all get along quite well without him. It's obvious now that Law's real job is babysitting and at this particular location all attempts to be an adult are fruitless.

So Law is all set to leave but then Zoro gets out of the ocean, dripping wet, and heads towards his drink which Law happens to be standing beside. Not watching. Definitely. If anything, glaring. And he tries to keep glaring out at Luffy and Ace messing around as Zoro takes a nice long drink, eyes clearly focused on Law.

Which isn't distracting.

Zoro: Aren't you hot?

Law: *Takes a second to process what that actually means, covering by his continued glare* These are work appropriate clothes, Zoro-ya. Not all of us have forgotten why we're here.

Zoro: *Snorts* RIght. You can't be seen having fun, isn't that so Torao?

Law: *Turning his glare towards Zoro which is maybe a mistake because skin and water and mouth and eyes* I'm only being practical.

Zoro: That sounds boring *Reaching out to grab the end of Law's shirt* You should come have fun with us, Torao. You might even enjoy it. *Sideways smirk that is far too dangerous in nature, anyone with self preservation instincts would run*

Law: *Doesn't run* I… *Is older than Zoro and more experienced than Zoro and always the one to make suggestive comments to Zoro so how is it Zoro has currently got his hands wrapped in Law's shirt while Law seems unable to speak?* I didn't even bring-

Zoro: *Stepping closer, raising Law's shirt up a few inches to show his intent* It's just the crew, it's not like anyone will care.

Law: It wouldn't be very appropriate, Zoro-ya…. *Come on! He's half stripping you down! Be flirty or clever or mysterious or hell just step back and make him stop if you can't come off as at least competent. What the hell is wrong with you? Fuck, he's so close. And there's this trail of water falling from his hair to his lips. Fuck.*

Zoro: Look around. No one here is trying to be "appropriate" Torao. *Steps closer, feeling safe. Feeling cocky. Today has been all sword fights with Killer and sea fights with Luffy and Ace. Can you blame him for being in a good mood? And Law needs to join in, obviously. He's standing up here on the beach looking so miserable and serious. What he needs is to be dragged into the water and force to actually have some fun.* Unless…. *Cocks his head, looking Law over* You can swim, can't you?

Law: I - *It'd be nice if he could swallow right now because it definitely feels like he's going to start drooling. That damn water is curving up on the underside of Zoro's lower lip and he's so close. Law could lap that up for him. Could pin Zoro down and just….*

Zoro: *Beaming* It's alright. Luffy can barely swim, either. *Nods out to the water where currently Luffy is splashing around, riding on Ace's shoulders*

Law: *Eyes go to Luffy and Ace for once second and when he looks back Zoro seems so much closer.*

Zoro: *Still smiling even as he starts to peel off Law's shirt* Come on. *Tugging him by the arm, despite the fact he's still in his jeans and no wait he didn't agree to this!* We'll go together.

Law: *Manages to get Zoro to stop long enough to peel off his jeans so he's down to his boxers, which Zoro flushes at and isn't that what he meant? He can't be so inexperienced. Fuck, Law just wants to ruin this boy, he really does. But then Zoro is back to shoving him towards the sea, happily announcing to Ace and Luffy that he has a fourth and what does that even mean? What has Law gotten himself into?*

It turns out to be an overly competitive game of chicken (both Ace and Zoro really take it far too seriously while Luffy is clearly there for fun but also will break Law's nose if it comes down to it). Which means Law has his legs wrapped around Zoro, whose hands are curled up around his thighs and this could not get any worse.

He thinks.

Totally unaware that Robin has her phone out and is capturing this entire magical moment. And when Franky sits beside her asking why she's filming them fighting she just gets this smile that makes him want to unask because he knows Robin.

Mihawk has to eventually call the boys out to shoot a scene. He stands at the edge of the water with his typically displeased look. Law would feel so much more ashamed if Zoro hadn't chosen to just drop him slightly so Law's legs are wrapped around his waist, and carried him out of the water like that. Law tries to give his boss an apologetic look but it's difficult when he's so wrapped around Zoro, and Zoro's hands keep finding new places on his legs to hold him up. (And maybe Mihawk shouldn't look at actors who work for him that way. And maybe Mihawk should spend less time instructing Zoro. And maybe Mihawk can go to hell because Law has called dibs on this one. This one is his.)

(Also, thank you for this opportunity, Mihawk-san)

(Also, did Zoro really need to flash that smile at Mihawk? Did Mihawk's face just soften slightly? Isn't he like twice Zoro's age? He should really-)

Then Zoro drops him on the sand, and he's leaning over Law, practically on top of him. All other thoughts basically stop.

Zoro: *Beaming* See? Wasn't that better than just sitting around?

Law: *Forgets how breathing works for just a moment, and is way too out of breath by the time he recalls the process. So his mind goes into default Defensive Mode. He frowns* You just wanted a chance to beat Mugiwara-ya.

Zoro: Well… *Shrugs, like obviously. That isn't really the point, is it? Since he chose Law?* You did well Torao. For a beginner.

Law: *Crossing his arms across his chest, which is difficult with Zoro right there. Looks to the side, determined not to give a single inch* I don't like being used Zoro-ya.

Zoro: Right. *Frowns, pushing away from Law* It was Luffy's suggestion anyway.

Law: *Carefully glancing back* What was?

Zoro: *No longer looking at Law* To come get you. Tch. Like I would ever want to pair up with you, Torao. *Pushes off the sand, stalking off towards Mihawkk and the shoot*

Law: *Pushes himself up onto his elbows, watching Zoro go. Can't help feeling like he really messed up.*

Robin: Perhaps you should be more careful with our stuntman's feelings.I suggest next time you be more honest with him.

Law: *Doesn't jump at Robin's sudden appearance next to him. Totally.* There won't be a next time. This is a pointless waste of an episode and the studio will see that.

Law: *As an afterthought* And I was honest.

Robin: *Sets a hand on Law's shoulder in a quiet moment of commiseration*

Also Robin: I have it all on tape if you wish to watch it back. *Leaves*

Law: *Hates this fucking episode*

Law: ….. *Maybe wants to examine that tape.*

[la-fille-en-aiguilles]

Blackout | Random One-Shot Series, #1

Billy Russo x Female Reader 

I’ve been through a major blackout this week, it got me thinking and this just happened. There’s another Blackout scenario I’m finishing, I’ll try to post it next week. For those lovely people who requested Matt Murdock stories, I’m still on them. Sorry for this delay in delivery, I blame Billy Russo. 

Warnings: S.M.U.T. 

Synopsis: you and Billy are best buddies, always have been. And it seems like nothing could change that. Well, except for a blackout, maybe.

“…you know, maybe I should just give up on men already. Start playing for the other team.”

Billy chuckles and shakes his head, his eyes skimming over the photos that you and him took earlier today at this gallery you somehow managed to drag him to. When his thumb swipes right to see yet another photo, your face suddenly takes up the entire screen, your full red lips forming a heart, a fucking sinful pout, your shimmering eyes watching him with such playfulness and boldness, he is instantly drawn to them and stunned speechless. 

When did you manage to take this photo anyway?...

“What can I say, it’ll be our loss,” Billy answers hurriedly before you come back to his room from the bathroom wondering what the hell has got his tongue. 

He can actually think of a few things, his hooded eyes still glued to the screen. His tongue sure would feel like home on those plump lips, among other places…

“He suggested that we hang out. When did hanging out even become a thing?! What does that even supposed to mean? ” you muse as the shower stops running, and Billy curses himself mentally, trying to ignore the tense feeling in his groin.

Dimming the screen of his phone, he throws it on the bed by his side. With his eyes fixed on the empty doorway leading to the bathroom, he tries to do his best to relax, allowing his back to hit the pillows. 

“I don’t know,” he considers it out loud, biting the inside of his cheek. “Maybe it means, like, let’s spend some quality time together, you know?”

Get naked, have lots of sex and maybe even dinner?, his mind spirals back to your lips. 

What the fuck is wrong with him.

Your laugh is the prettiest thing he has ever heard – and felt. As he takes in the smooth melody, goosebumps immediately spread all over his body, awakening his senses. Like some sort of a top-quality drug, spreading in his veins, getting his entire body tingle with excitement. 

God damn, he has it bad. 

“Is that what you mean when you ask me to hang out?” before he can even realize he said what he thinks he thought out loud, you step into his bedroom, and he nearly groans, and chokes on his own saliva. 

With your hair curled at the ends, the front strands rolled back in some kind of a retro style, your lips still sinner red, you stand in front of him wearing black stockings that hit you just a couple of inches above your knees and one of his dress shirts, because you probably couldn’t find a bathrobe. 

He considers thinking about dead puppies, but his mind already pictures his hands sliding up your thighs as he fucks you into the wall…

“No,” he lets out in a husky voice, flicking his eyes to your face, illuminated with a completely oblivious smile. “I could never-” he stutters, “I’d never want to do that to you… I mean, with you…”, watching your expression darken up some, he suddenly realizes it all comes out wrong.

Bloody hell, just shut your trap up! 

“I mean, we’re buddies, right?” Billy finally manages weakly, hating himself for every word that leaves his mouth. “We can never be…”, he even considers just stopping talking all together, your smile having disappeared entirely, and having been replaced by a small frown and a pout.

That fucking pout.

“All I’m saying, is…” Billy rakes his fingers through his thick mane of hair, exasperated and fed up with himself. “…I don’t think this kind of hanging out can ever be our thing”. 

Just when he breathes out, thinking it could have gone so much worse, his eyes shift back to your face. The next thing he knows you snap at him, your hands on your hips.

“Of course not,” Billy can sense metal ringing in every word. “Besides, hanging out would never cut it for me.”

With these words, you’re a whirlwind of cotton, hair and lipstick, as you turn on your heels and power walk back to the bathroom, tense and frustrated. 

Billy feels like a blithering idiot, staring at the spot where you’ve been standing seconds ago. Moaning softly and biting his bottom lip, he buries his face in his hands. 

He’d really better get his libido in line, before he drives you away with his horrendous stupidity and infinite babbling that doesn’t even make sense.

Your ringtone goes off in the bathroom all of the sudden, somewhat shaking Billy out of his stupor.  You take a moment to answer, swearing under your breath as Billy hears something clutter against the tile floors, probably your perfume.

“Hey, Karen. What’s up?” It seems to him that you sound completely off, some kind of emotion that you’re trying to desperately fight raw in your voice. You clear your throat, and the sound makes Billy’s entire body go cold. 

You are not angry. You’re disappointed, and you’re doing a pretty shitty job trying to mask it. 

“Okay, okay, don’t freak out, Bill and I will think of something,” you dash out of the bathroom and back into where Billy sits. You widen your eyes at him, as if sending him silent signals. “He’s going to call Frank right now, and tell him he needs him to pass by his place. We’ll think of some excuse,” worry laces your every word, and Billy is up on his feet, alert as his Marine senses kick in. Even though he knows it’s just a goddamn surprise birthday party, and nobody’s in danger. For now. “Worst case scenario, he gets to your place before the guests do. It’s still going to be a hell of a surprise!”

You close your mouth abruptly. Billy watches you with concern in his dark eyes, and just as he reaches out and wraps his fingers around your wrist, the lights in his apartment go off, and the entire room is drowned in pitch-black darkness.

Something’s happening on the other end of the line, Billy can tell, as you call Karen’s name a couple of times. He lights up the flash on his phone with his free hand, blinking a couple of times.

“Hell’s Kitchen has shitty cellphone service as it is,” Billy tries to reassure in a hushed voice even though he knows better than to speak. “The citywide blackout sure ain’t helping”.

He instantly regrets having opened his mouth as your eyes shoot daggers at him in the light that his iPhone’s emanating.

“Yeah, no shit, Russo,” you scoff at him. 

Before Billy can even open his mouth and retort, he finally hears Karen’s voice, and you shake Billy’s grip off your hand, without even looking at him. Your voice is a tad strangled but still firm as you tell Karen that the blackout might slow Frank down. You also tell her to stay put while Billy calls him to see where he’s at. 

As you drop the call, you put the flash on your iPhone on and return back to the bathroom, not saying a word.

Having watched you disappear, Billy drops back on the couch, sighing, still trying to wrap his head around how much of a fucking retard he is. He lights his phone up, only to see the No Service message in bold white letters. Muttering a curse under his breath, he flicks the flash mode off, so he’s left sitting in the darkness, his eyes fixed on the light coming from the bathroom. 

“I’ve got zero service, but I still can get hold of my guys so they can track ‘im ,” Billy suggests, his thumb rubbing against his phone’s screen in a nervous gesture. 

“Do that then,” his heart breaks a little as he hears you answer cooly, like you couldn’t give less crap about what he does. “We’ll be going in five, just let me get dressed”. 

Silence settles in the room until you curse under your breath, the light in the bathroom going off. Your phone must have died.

“So the hanging out guy”, he hates the begging tones in his voice, but Billy speaks up anyway, clearing his throat. He knows that probably makes him a coward, but he finds it easier to voice his thoughts while being immersed in darkness. “Did you tell ‘im that? That hanging out doesn’t cut it for you?” he asks, not even sure he wants to know the answer. Because what if she didn’t? 

What if she took him up on his offer? 

Billy doesn’t know how he’ll be able to handle that.

He hears you scoff almost immediately at his lame questions while you’re in the middle of the fucking blackout, but he still prepares himself for the answer, whatever it might be. 

“Oh yeah,” you reappear back in his room, carrying your little burgundy dress on a hanger in one hand, and a pair of killer Loubotin shoes in the other. Knowing you’ll probably need light, Billy lights up his phone again. “I told him to fuck off and call me when he grows a pair… which is never going to happen, so I’m sure as hell safe”. 

Billy can feel the colour drain from his cheeks as he suddenly realizes you may not be talking about that pathetic loser who suggested that you and him hang out, because he is a fucking coward and couldn’t ask you out on a proper date.

As you make a point out of ignoring him, Billy wants to smash his head against the wall.

And then it finally hits him.

Yeah, actually, you are still talking about that loser.

That loser being him.

He squeezes his eyes shut at first, as he hears you hassle behind his back, not saying a word; when suddenly something pushes him up onto his feet, a surge of adrenaline, the sentiment of now-or-never beating his common sense into submission, relative darkness encouraging him to do something he knows he might regret.

Billy turns around to face you, and from the moment he’s struck dumb by the sight before his eyes, he knows this entire situation is going haywire. 

His eyes hit your bare shoulders and exposed back. His stare slides down with the shirt that you are taking off, standing with his back to him. His eyes go wide and his pupils are blown out with lust as he catches a glimpse of the black lace underwear. As if sensing his burning stare, you half turn your head… Your eyes lock.

His breathing has yet to return to normal, but the next thing he knows, Billy is crushing your soft body into the cool wall, his fingers digging into your hips, his mouth ruining that vampire pout of yours. Biting and gnawing on your lips, he is surprised when you push your tongue into his mouth, your fingers snaking into his hair, pulling at it harshly. 

With some kind of wild energy pumping through his veins, fire of lust licking at the corners of his mind, Billy drags his lips along your neck and collarbone, running his fingertips along the lace-covered underside of your breasts. 

“Fuck, Billy,” you moan, your voice barely audible, your nails digging into his shoulders. “Don’t tease”. 

The way you say his name strikes deep within him, his erection rock hard and pressed against where you need him most, he likes to think. 

He has to remind himself that you have no idea how many times he has fucked his own hand pretending it was your lips wrapped around his cock. 

“I’m going to make you come into my mouth and then I’m taking you to bed”, Billy can feel a thorough shiver raking through you as he whispers the words against your swollen lips. A moan that escapes them is downright scandalous and Billy would chuckle if you didn’t unclasp your bra, silently surrendering yourself to him.

As Billy takes one of your breasts into his mouth, puckering his lips against your skin, you gasp, your hips moving forward. It’s only moments before Billy drops to his knees, his fingers rolling black lace down your legs. Billy’s tongue laps against the swollen bud of nerve endings between your thighs. His lips wrap around you, as he slides a finger up your wet, shuddering core.

With his dick pressing painfully against the fly of his trousers, Billy hears you moan his name again. When he looks up, he sees you open your eyes, watching him fuck you with his fingers. He feels you tighten around him, your eyes rolling back as you come, screaming his name and squeezing his hand in between your soft thighs, riding out your high…

—

“Stop staring at me,” you whisper with your eyes closed, feeling Billy’s dark eyes on you. He doesn’t say anything, just chuckles hoarsely and dives down, hovering over your body. His lips burn your bare hipbones as his hands squeeze as much of your ass as he can reach, your skin orange in the rays of the morning sun. 

“God, Russo, you’re insatiable,” you growl, but Billy knows you’re hiding a smile as you bury your face in a pillow. 

“You have no idea,” Billy smirks, kissing the spot just above your belly button this time. His lips don’t waver as he takes this party lower.

Your breath hitches in your throat, and Billy lifts himself up in response, his hungry lips crashing down on yours. 

Leaving you breathless, Billy hovers over you, brushing a stray strand of hair behind your ear. 

“Do you think we fucked up Frank’s surprise birthday party?” you ask him, cupping his cheek with one of your hands. “I can’t believe we missed the entire happening. Karen is going to kill us both.”

Billy brushes his lips against yours one more time and from the soft yet mischievous look in his eyes you can tell he has absolutely zero regrets. 

“She hasn’t called, so I think they didn’t miss us much”, he wets his bottom lip. “Fifty bucks says they know what we were up to, and probably drank a round of shots to celebrate”. 

You roll yours eyes at him, but you know what he says makes sense. This dancing around each other and ‘we’re just friends’ crap was getting old, especially for Karen and Frank.

“So what now?” you ask him. 

The stare of those bottomless eyes burns again, possibly more that his touch as his hand slides up and down your ribs under the blanket. You bite on your bottom lip, hard, trying to keep a loud moan in.

“I don’t know,” Billy looks like he weighs his options. “You want to maybe hang out?’ 

This wasn’t what you expected, not by a very long shot. It’s out of your control as you gasp at the nerve of him, gripping his roaming hand so hard he actually winces, the Marine that he is. 

“Hey, easy there, m’love,” you freeze as the nickname reaches your ears. Billy uses your reaction to free his hand, bringing it to your face. His mouth is mere inches away from yours, and you feel your stomach erupt with what feels like hippopotamuses doing an Irish dance. “What I meant is have lots of sex, and maybe even a breakfast date?...”

[devintrinidad]

So since you’re working on a Cancer driven story. I’m going to ramble about the semi popular reverse role au where 3802 is the WBC and 1146 is the RBC. I’ve only seen some (really good) fanart (by the same blog that did fanart of some of your stories!) and read one or two stories on it. But today some stuff hit me and I want to try to make hc’s on how that’s a thing.

For starters In this verse some things are switched around. The whole shock incident happened already. I wanted DB5963 to be around and the shock incident wouldn’t propel 1146’s character development any since I see him as being already RBC.

Anyway 1146, 2001, 4989, 2048 and 2626 are all RBCs (I’m kind of thinking Esinophil too. If only because I wanted her to still be 1146’s close childhood friend. Or Idk, maybe she can be a cell who grew up to be a young Macrophage so she’s still someone he knows since childhood even if it’s not the same. But whatever).

On the flip side, 3803, 5100, 4201, PO1076 and 4201 are all WBCs. 

1146 is pretty much a perfect RBC. He’s experienced. He’s always savvy about routes and knows his way around the body so well he doesn’t even need to carry a map. He’s brave and relentless in the face of danger. He knows how to maneuver around bad areas so often times he’ll recklessly run past bacteria and figure out how to use his environment to his advantage. He’s seen as a great role model of a proper, if not a little extreme, RBC.

3803 is still a little fresh. She gets easily flustered about sudden calls for help in areas she’s unfamiliar with. She’s a bit absent minded with her weapons and sometimes might drop her sword (I’m inspired from CAW Black where the female WBCs all have swords instead of knifes. In this verse just for fun, guys wield daggers, girls wield swords) which her friends are always finding and giving it back with various ranges of amusement to anger born of worry. It’s not that she’s a horribly clumsy. 3803 is a good weapon user. But she’s more into the hand punching to leg kicking to bite ripping flesh combat. Sometimes in the heat of the moment she’ll surprise her enemy by going ape on them and then surprise herself when she realizes she lost her weapon somewhere.

And yeah she still gets lost easily and often is found helpless stuck in walls while transmigrating.

Before I go into the rest, I’ll go over the others: 5100 is 3803’s main mentor in the squad. She’s both supportive and faithful to helping 3803 grow. But she also worries and acts more protective since their line of work is more dangerous. She calls 3803 on the radio several times a day and if 3803 doesn’t check in fast enough, she panics. Her and 1076 are the typical brute warrior WBCs. They stick to protocol and do what’s expected of them. They’re typically always a duo so they have excellent teamwork. But 5100 displays her best teamwork with 3803 when the two are in berserk mode at it’s best.

5963 is a new addition that came with the armada of RBCs. He quickly established himself as the unofficial leader of the squad without any fuss from anyone. His positive and relaxed demeanor makes him easy to work with. However he’s the most experienced so he’s no softy on the battlefield. He’s brutal and can scare any non immune cell watching into fainting.

4201 is the newest recruit to the squad. She came sometimes after the shock incident so she wasn’t there to witness the end of the world. She’s a prodigy in her knowledge of Bacteria weakness multiple forms of self defense. She knows protocol like the back of her hand and is above average in nearly all areas. Her biggest weakness is that she gets easily defeated in overwhelming situations and will lose her nerve if there’s a enemy she thinks she can’t win against. She’s assigned to shadow 3803 around her big moment of realizing she has a lot to learn from 3803 is when Cancer shows up. Beyond that she usually partners with 3803 for patrols. Also she dislikes the Killer Ts and finds a lot of them obnoxious but is professional enough to never let that interfere with work.

Also 4989 is the RBC who is always trying to invent better ways to transport packages. One time he slingshot his oxygen delivery into a 3rd story window and nearly knocked the poor Normal cell out. 

Anyway, 1146 met 3803 while on the job. She was stuck in the wall and desperately calling for backup on the radio. Everyone was busy so 1146, having pity for the pathetic WBC, came over to pull her out. Before she could even thank him, he was one his way barely giving her a glance. 1146 wasn’t one for gossip or prejudice. He respected the immune system for what they did and had no ill will. But he was a professional and never had any reason or interest to interact with, much less be thanked by, them. He was a good guy but he wasn’t in the mindset for making friends with other cell types. 

The weird WBC however didn’t think that. She followed after him asking for directions to the lungs. If this was any other WBC, 1146 admits he’d feel a little nervous since immune cells, from his pov, typically only interact with you to protect you or slay you if you’ve become a threat (1146 is experienced enough to have seen the latter happen to a few of his brethren). But this weird WBC came off as so unusual and weak he wondered if even a platelet could take her. The impression got worse when a Killer T and his squad showed up to mock her for her weakling status and how she was probably going to die and get the RBC killed with her.

It made him wonder if he should worry about his life or hers more.

He showed her to the lungs and parted ways. Determined to make his delivery on time so he could help out 4989 later with his double shipments as promised. Along the way the Bacteria shows up and 1146 distracts it from chasing other RBCs by throwing himself in harms way. Thinking this is it, he determines at least he made the delivery and saved some other RBCs. 3803 pops up at the last moment. Tumbling from the ceiling in a rather ungraceful way. But she doesn’t care. She’s just grateful she made it to the right vent this time!

3803 attacks the bacteria to defend 1146 and all other RBCs. She slashes away and nearly gets her head cut off a few times. 1146 uses the time to warn off all other RBCs, but can’t help but linger nearby to see if she’ll make it. When the bacteria is about to kill a wandering cell, 3803 goes berserk and ditches the sword and starts ripping into the monster. It’s the goriest thing 1146 has ever seen. 1146 sees the sneeze capsule and calls 3803’s attention to it. She gets the idea and pushes the bacteria to the spot and manages to push the button and save the day. She thanks 1146 again for his help and then starts doting on his injured hand by wrapping it up in bandages. Much to his surprise since she’s the one covered in gashes and ooze. She asks if they’ll meet again. He doesn’t think so. But he makes sure his goodbye is a little warmer then the last two times. He gives her his handkerchief so she can wipe her face and see a little better before parting ways.

That’s how the first meeting goes.

Some more hc’s.

3803 is a berserk beast. It wasn’t always apparent but one day when her favorite platelet, Leader Chan, got threatened. She went absolutely savage and all out. She will channel all her determination to win into a primal rage that has other WBCs respecting her more after that. Say what they will, she has that protective instinct and willingness to never give up down down to near perfection.

1146 will retrieve her weapons when he finds them and give them back to her. He often worries someone won’t pick them up for her or she’ll forget to find them if her signal goes off. If he doesn’t see her with her sword after a battle, he will automatically start looking for it.

Despite 3803 being the WBC, 1146 eventually becomes VERY protective of her. Almost overprotective. He helps her when she’s lost no matter what. He always checks out allyways to make sure she’s not stuck. He always helps her find her weapon. He immediately shuts up any ungrateful Normal cell or RBC that makes fun of her or acts rude in a very cold manner. Even if she’s not around to hear it.

One time he saw Killer T yelling at her after a fierce battle with Influenza. He was scolding her harshly for getting herself injured being so soft when saving a Normal cell instead of being more vigilante. If she wasn’t so useless she could do both easily. Her eyes start to water and she apologizes a lot and promises to do better. She runs off and before Killer T can react, 1146 is up in his face and very calmly asks him to never yell at her for trying to do her job the best she can. 1146 then coolly leaves Killer T stunned that some punk RBC just scolded him in a calm rage without any fear. Killer T and 1146 still have a unusual relationship in this verse (1146 is savvy enough to know Killer T can yell all he wants but he can’t hit him).

3803 will often tag along with 1146 during his deliveries and he teaches her all the routes he knows and how to better navigate. He comes to really enjoy it and gets a bit disappointed when she has to run off during one of her stories about her day.

NK cell first befriended 3803 in this verse solely because she seems to piss off Killer T so much (Killer T actually does respect her growth a bit and care about what happens to 3803 as a fellow immune cell. Yelling harshly is partly his way of caring. But her antics still annoy him). 3803 considers NK to be the coolest immune cell in the body (after 5100 or tied). NK gets flustered yet pleased with this attention and acts like another big sis to her.

1146 will wipe her face for her with handkerchiefs if she gets too much guts on them. 

Cancer meets both 1146 and 3803 the first time around while they on walking together. She doesn’t realize he’s a cancer cell until much later. She spends almost the whole day protecting both of them from germs and Cancer appreciates 1146’s company and 3803’s kindness to other cells. When Cancer dies, 1146 approaches to pay his respects and 3803 (who landed the final blow, much to everyone’s surprise) ends up crying over him and devastated over his fate and loss of their friendship. Cancer falls in love with 3803 for being so different and unusual. He also vows to talk with 1146 again in hopes he’ll find the answer to his questions about life and destiny. 1146 is disturbed by both revelations (3803 didn’t get Cancer’s love confession to her. 1146 did and dislikes it and also how much Cancer made him think about life in ways he didn’t want to).

Uhm that might be it for now.

 ~~~~

Okay, where were you when I wrote Transmigrating Universes? XD OTL

Hahahah! Look at all of this head canons and snippets of what could really be a wonderful, well written au! Seriously, I love how you included the different relationships among characters and how they would have adapted as different cell types! Special spotlight on 4989 because he would definitely be that one innovative red blood cell while the rest try to get him to use more traditional, and standard regulated dollies. 

But, of course, the real star of the show is definitely 3803 and 1146. I love how you reworked the first chapter/episode here. It goes to show how differently they would react to different situations, how they would have adapted, and ultimately, how their relationship would evolve. Although different, there is still that sense of platonic/romantic relationship that is based on true friendship.

And that whole Cancer bit at the end,,, hahaha!

Thank you so much for the delightful, in depth analysis! It was truly inspiring and terrific!

Thank you and I hope that you have a wonderful day! :D

[simsadventures]

Better Like This: Chapter 10: Why

Summary: Your attacker goes into a full bad guy mode, and explains why she did what she did. At the mean time, Bucky and the team do everything in their power to save you.

Warnings: angst, mentions of death, mentions of abuse, dominant Omega, swearing

Word Count: 2692

A/N: I truly can’t thank you guys enough for sticking with this story and being so invested in it. Love you all. IT’S SHOWTIME xx

Series Masterlist __ Masterlist

< Previous Chapter

You didn’t know how much time passed since you got abducted. You still had the blindfold tightly tied on your face, so there was no way to see if it was still night or the next day already. You wanted to concentrate on your surroundings, to find out if you were next to some road, next to the water, docks, anything that would help you determine the place where you were hidden.

You didn’t know yet what you ‘d do with that information, but you desperately wanted to find out your own location. Even if it were the last thing you did.

Your whole being was on fire from pain. You could feel the tension in your arm from all the bleeding, your face must have been puffed, if you looked at it, from the blows you received and your mating bond was probably red and angry. You couldn’t know that for sure, but by the way it hurt, burned and itched, you could only imagine what was happening to it.

It was extremely dangerous for newly mated couples to be without each other for this long. Even Bucky’s trip to work made you feel uneasy, and the uneasiness now transformed into a pit in your stomach, growing by each passing minute. Just the thought of Bucky made your stomach turn.

He must have been so scared when he came home only to not find you there. You weren’t mated for a long time, but you could vividly imagine his face when realising you’re not there. You just hoped he’d know you would never walk away willingly. That after he opened up to you about everything that happened to him, you would never leave him alone. You prayed, you could tell him that.

You were utterly oblivious to what was happening outside the blindfold as you were thinking, so the voice of your attacker scared the hell out of you. “C’mon, princess, you can’t be in your head forever. I got a nice little plan for the two of us.” When you felt her cold hand touching your arm, you flinched and started to struggle against the ropes tying you to the chair.

She just laughed coldly, pinched your cheek and whispered to your ear, her breath raising the hair on your neck. “Don’t you struggle, Y/N. There’s no way out of here, you hear me? I’m the last person you’ll be with before you die. There’s nothing you can do about it, so why fighting it?”

“Oh, bitch, I’m not gonna go down that easily.” This earned you a slap, and you suspected she used her hand this time, because while it stung, you luckily, couldn’t feel blood on the tip of your tongue as with the previous blows. You needed to figure out a way out of there, you just didn’t know how, yet.

—-

Bucky couldn’t sleep. He laid on Scott’s sofa, staring at the ceiling, and thinking of scenarios that wouldn’t result in your abduction. You should have never gone to work, or you should have gone with him, so he could be sure you’re safe all the time. He was your Alpha, you should have protected you, and when you needed him the most, he just wasn’t there.

A single tear found its way from his eye down his cheek, and he just let slide down to his neck. He missed you. You’ve been a couple for a week, and he already lost you. NO! His mind yelled at him. Right, he didn’t lose you, he just couldn’t find you yet.

When the first shock melted away, he started to concentrate on your bond, and he could still feel it buzzing. Which was a good sign. He realised that if you were dead, he would probably die of grief too. It would be such a shock for his body, that he wouldn’t be able to survive it. At the same time, however, he could feel your distress. He could swear he felt your fear and pain. He always heard stories about how connected the true mates were, but he never really paid close attention to those myths. Now they all seemed to be true.

While he hated to feel your pain, he was glad he did because it meant that you weren’t dead and he still had time to find you and finally hold you in his arms. God, he would do anything in the world to just hold you in his arms, hearing your sweet giggles that never failed to draw a smile on his own face.

So while he couldn’t sleep, he tried to think of people from his past, and from what you’ve told him, to try and find the person who did this. What he didn’t understand why the Strangler felt the need to abduct you. She always attacked ex-prostitutes or girls desperate for money. You were neither of those things, and he just couldn’t figure out how you fitted in her MO.

As he was laying, he tried to figure out other things too. Like who would like to hurt you, the nicest person on this fucking planet. He didn’t know you long enough to see if some people held any grudges. But just from knowing you, he assumed that it was improbable. Then he tried to think of people in his own past who would try to hurt him by taking you.

There were the perps he put to prison, some of them were already out so he could imagine they could have come out their ways to hurt him, but this just didn’t feel like any of them. Other than that… There was one person who suited all the descriptions and his blood suddenly ran cold. It couldn’t have been her, could it?

He sat up straight and thought. Female Omega who wanted to dominate others, Omegas or not. He didn’t want to believe he was that insane, but just by picturing her in his mind, his whole body shuddered, and he suddenly felt like throwing up. Amber wasn’t his favourite human, to say the least.

It must have been her. She was always nuts, but this would have been crazy even for her. It didn’t matter. He could have been wrong, but at the same time, he didn’t want to underestimate her. He tried to think of a way to approach her, to find her so that it’s according to all those stupid laws. They could just say they had a probable cause, really, and if it weren’t her, he would apologise to her and continue to try and find his lovely Omega.

He immediately called Steve and even though it was 6 AM, he could hear that he didn’t wake him up. Bucky told him all about his theory, and to his surprise, it all made sense to Steve. Not really the other victims, but Y/N? Yeah, that could be her. They agreed to meet at Bruce’s lab to try and track her phone, someone else visiting her apartment. Steve would deal with the legal shit later. Your life was at stake, and no-one wanted to wait another minute.

About an hour later, most of the team was standing behind Tony, who was now trying to track Amber’s movement, her cards and her phone. Only Sam and Nat were missing, but they were currently driving from Amber’s apartment, which was empty. Weirdly so, her neighbour told Natasha, because Miss Amber never goes out before 9 AM, she likes to sleep in, apparently.

It all made more, and more sense, which only fuelled Bucky’s fear for you. He knew what she was capable of in her “right” mind, he experienced it first-handed. And if she really turned out to be the Strangler, Bucky feared he knew where your abduction would end up. And he wasn’t about to let that happen.

“I got her phone,” Tony hollered, trying to pinpoint the exact location. Everyone held their breaths. If she was really the Strangler, this was the closest they’d ever been to finding and arresting her. And even if she turned out not to be the serial killer of New York, they gladly take just saving you, for now.

“Here, look. She seems to be in this little workshop, but it seems to be closed. So what is she doing in a closed workshop, at 7 AM? Weird!” Tony muttered the last part and tried to find some cameras so that he would have an online look at the place, but it was well hidden in one of the old houses in Brooklyn. “That’s Amber’s father’s workshop!” Bucky yelled. “He used to work with steel and stuff, but when he died, it just laid there abandoned.” Everyone looked at Bucky, and it all seemed a little more real now.

“Alright, we don’t know if she’s really holding Y/N, but for the time being, let’s assume she does. I want everyone on this, we’ll try to not spook her, so Natasha, I want you to knock on the door when we come there, asking if the shop was opened, and stuff like that, we’ll try to see if Y/N is there, and if so, we’ll just barge in, save Y/N, and try not to kill that bitch so that we can put her on the stand. Understood?” Everyone just nodded, checked their guns, and went to their cars.

Steve put a hand on Bucky’s shoulder, which immediately stopped him. “Steve, I know what you want to say, but I’m coming. If Y/N is there, I need to be as close to her as I can. I won’t even mind Amber if Y/N is there, I’ll let you take care of her and everything, as long as my Omega will be ok.”

“I know buddy, I would never try and stop you from coming with us. I just want to say, and trust me, I hate to say this, but if Y/N will be hurt, or worse, you can’t just shoot Amber.”

Bucky clenched his teeth at the image of you not making it but nodded nevertheless. He needed to see the whole thing with his own eyes. He just hoped they wouldn’t be late.

—-

Meanwhile

The blindfold disappeared from your face, and you had to blink harshly to get used to the light in the room. You could see that it was already morning, and that wasn’t a good sign. You were there far too long by now. You then try to have a look at the crazy woman who attacked you.

She was pretty. That was your first impression, but you could see she was far too skinny to be healthy, the bags under her eyes far too prominent. You suspected she was on something, but you couldn’t be too sure.

“I don’t even know you, what the fuck do you want?” You scream-said. “Oh, but I do know you, princess. You are just a submissive little thing who stole my Bucky from me.”

You looked at her, confused. You didn’t steal Bucky. He was very much single when you two met. And then, suddenly realised what she was talking about and who she was.

“You must be Amber, then.”

“So my boo told you about me? Of course, he did, I mean I’m the love of his life, he just hasn’t realised it yet.”

You wanted to give her some snarky comment about that, but then something behind her caught your attention. It was a golden glove, which seemed to be custom-made, with some gemstones on it.

“You like my gauntlet? I created it just like Thanos’s one, you know, from the comic books? He wanted to get rid of the wrong people, and I’m doing the same, honey. I mean, this world doesn’t need whores like you or those bitches that came before you. I’m just purifying it.”

Before you? Did she mean-? “Wait, so you are the Strangler?” You asked in disbelief. You really thought it was an Alpha, for some reason. But the second Amber told you, you could totally imagine her doing all those vicious things. “Purify my ass, bitch. You lost your mind? You can’t just decide who lives and who doesn’t based on their past jobs.”

“Oh, but you can. They all needed money, and I offered it to them, and they let me dominate them. Amy, the first one, really was a mistake. I didn’t mean to squeeze so hard, and it was actually me calling the ambulance. She was a good whore. But once I realised she was gone, this weird energy filled me up, you know? I felt great, and I wanted to see what I can do with it. So with the second whore, I just watched the life leaving her body, and honestly, I’ve never seen anything this beautiful. It was almost poetic, you know? And now I’m pretty much addicted, but with a good cause, don’t you think?”

You tried to think of your training, on how to talk with this type of maniacs, but all logic just left your body. You had been strapped there since last night, you were thirsty as hell, your whole being hurt, and you knew what she wanted to do to you. And for the life of you, you couldn’t make a plan of survival.

“Look, I didn’t even mean to hurt you, at first. But then I saw the mark on your neck, and I thought that it was supposed to be on my neck. Bucky was supposed to learn how to be submissive for me, and we could’ve been happy. And we will be happy once I get rid of your ugly face.”

“Hey, Amber, I understand what you did, I really do, but you don’t want to kill me. I’m with the police, you’re going to draw the biggest target on your forehead because of this. You can find someone better than Bucky and-“

“There’s nobody better than Bucky, bitch.” She smacked you across your face, now wearing the gauntlet and you understood that this was the weapon with which she was hitting you last night. “He’ll miss you for a second, sure, but I’ll be the shoulder on which he can cry, and he’ll see that we’re meant to be. And he doesn’t even have to know what I do as my hobby.”

You scoffed. “Hobby? You’re killing people, Amber. You’re playing God, and that’ll bite you in the ass soon.”

“Maybe, but you know what? You won’t be here to see that.” With that, she hit you one more time, and suddenly pressed her hand (now entirely wearing the gauntlet) against your throat. You feel a prickle of blood running down your forehead, but that was the least of your problems.

You struggled against the ropes and against her hand, but it was fruitless, none of it budged. This wasn’t the way you remembered to go down. You at least hope you could take the perp with you, and not dying here alone, in some dusty worship, with the ex of your Alpha choking you to death.

You tried to stay conscious as long as you could, but then you felt your eyes being heavier and heavier. The ringing in your ears was getting stronger with each passing second, and you felt like your brain would explode.

And still, the only thing on your mind was Bucky. You could see him, laying above you in bed, tickling you so that he could see you smile, then lightly kissing your nose, cheek, eyelids, and finally your lips. You knew he was your heaven, and you didn’t want to leave him this soon. At the same time, you were thankful you met him at all. That you knew what love should look like. That even if it was for a few days, those days were filled with laughter, safety, and love.

When you blinked for the last time, you could have sworn Bucky was entering the room. You smiled, feeling yourself losing consciousness, with the image of Bucky in front of you. It was a good way to go.

/ Next Chapter >

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Which Homestuck characters would read Homestuck and their opinion

idk i’m bored. What’s Homestuck^2? What’s epilogues? We’re strictly Homestuck in this house. Also only doing main characters, I’m not going to dive into the Felt or caparacians, I want this to be done today.

Beta kids:

June: Avid reader. Got in early and read the whole thing. Got shirts, unironically liked it.

Rose: Got in late, but got into it. Loved the tarot deck, uses it to pretend she’s reading while she just tells people their truths. Noticed some narrative issues but overall liked it.

Dave: Got in shortly after June did, read for a while, but his irony poisoning led to him sassing the HECK out of it. Made a diss blog. Kept reading it “ironically” and cannot tell if he actually likes it or not. Got a god tier hoodie he wears at home. Sampled some of the soundtracks for his raps.

Jade: Loved it. LOVED IT. Got the full soundtrack. Made remixes. Got all the shirts. One of the blogs that posted “UPD8!” whenever an update happened. Big fanartist during the Gigapauses.

Beta Guardians:

June’s Dad: Tried to get into it to connect to his daughter’s interest, but the memes were too much, so he became the “Are ya winning, daughter?” dad. Very supportive but would need fifty slow paced “Homestuck explained” videos.

Mom Lalonde: Read it, but was too intoxicated to remember most. She holds obscure knowledge and will remember minute trivia, but don’t ask her about any of the large plot points.

Bro Strider: Too busy being A Mess Of A Human Being to sit down and read.

Poppop Harley: Too busy being A Dang Explorer to sit down and read.

Alpha kids:

Jane: Takes time to read it slowly. Has a blog of theories she constantly updates. Was upset about how some plot points got dropped and underdeveloped.

Roxy: Much like Jade, loved it. While Jade made remixes, Roxy cosplays. She has killer cosplays of most characters. Screamed about updates on twitter. No filter, accidentally drops spoilers left right and center.

Dirk: Deep, DEEP character examinations. Draws diagrams, writes essays. Unironically liked the potential of Paradox Space, may have even submit his own stories to be a guest artist.

Jake: Read the whole thing, liked it, missed many connections and plot points, was satisfied with the ending. Got some merch, can say “I read Homestuck” in public and be blissfully unaware of any positive and negative baggage that comes with saying so.

Alpha Guardians:

Jane’s Dad: Much like June’s Dad, tried to get into it. Unlike June’s Dad, watched and read his daughter’s theories (and Dirk’s explanations when Jane linked them to him) and became A Walking Homestuck Encyclopedia. Jane is unsure how to feel about this. He, however, does not reference it.

Roxy’s Rosemom: Too busy fighting the good fight to read. It’s in her radar but didn’t get the time to read it.

Dirk’s Davedad: Read it as a novelty. Sent Hussie a gold-plated Bad Dragon dildo. Put offhand references to it on his movies, but they were so oblique that even readers didn’t get it.

Jade English: Too busy running her own baking good company to read Homestuck. Not even in her radar.

Alternia Trolls:

Aradia: Much like Dirk, got REAL DEEP into it. Makes youtube vids explaining classpects and narrative points. Actually wrote a dissertation on Homestuck.

Tavros: Tried to get into it, but the first few acts were not to his taste so he never got to the trolls ironically enough. Likes the character designs though.

Sollux: Next level Dave. Critiques the FUQUE out of it on every platform he can. If Hatedom is a thing, he made it. He’s the founder. It’s him. But he read it to the end.

Karkat: Read it, loves it, does some interesting character relationship examinations. Predicted who would end up with who with 100% accuracy. Wasn’t a vocal fan, didn’t get merch, but still liked it.

Nepeta: The shipper who launched a thousand ships. She writes crackfic but with deep care, making sure it makes sense that characters would end up together. Got one of every homestuck shirt. Very into it.

Kanaya: Got into it only because her friends got into it. If Karkat hadn’t talked about it she would not have gotten into it but she did because she wants to be able to carry a conversation with her friends. Not a huge fan.

Terezi: She can and WILL correct you if you get trivia wrong. She did not sit through hours of text-to-speech pesterlogs for some scrub to get it wrong. Defiant Homestuck defender. She’ll cut you if you say you don’t like Homestuck (she won’t, but she’s judging you from the other side of the room)

Vriska: Skipped the first acts and jumped right into Alternia. Little context, little care. Pretends she didn’t, gets facts hilariously wrong which Terezi takes as an invitation to tease her. Fanartist.

Equius: Another fanartist. He made physical media as opposed to drawings. Slow reader, got into it late and didn’t finish until way after the comic had ended. Did not get to experience the comic without Random Paradox Arms all over the place. Loved by the community for his short reaction posts about what happened at the point he’s at.

Gamzee: Either first person to post “Update” when comic updated, or doesn’t read for months and then catches up in two days. Skips many chat logs, but still gets most of the plot no problem. Remembers exact phrasing of the posts he does read though.

Eridan: Another Character Analysis blogger. He dives into (pun unintended) why some characters are The Absolute Worst and writes fanfic of how they would be if they had a chance to be in a different circumstances. The Problematique fan, but only because people assume the worst of him. He’s actually pretty chill.

Feferi: Superfan, and Super Content Creator. Started making plushies and charms and eventually started selling them. Her stuff became a badge of honor and people posted themselves hugging their plushies during the gigapause.

Ancestors:

Too busy caught up in their personal turmoils to read any of it. Except the Condesce. She sent Hussie a diamond-studded Bad Dragon dildo.

Beforus trolls:

Damara: Big fan, but doesn’t express it because of the crowd she’s with. But she has a blog where she tries to get in touch with new readers and is always open to answer questions others might have. Not a Big Name fan, but she’s much more vocal online than in person, and even then it’s through an alt account.

Rufioh: Got people into it, but he himself didn’t finish reading after the Scratch. Said he would but he just never got to doing so.

Mituna: Prone to ranting when updates happened. Very emotionally invested, nearly died when Game Over happened.

Kankri: The nitpicker to end all nitpicks. He critiqued everything, and hated that there were hero mode, simplified and silly drawings. Genuinely disliked all characters for faults that he himself has, yet never self-examined. Got a following that  consisted three-quarters of people who made fun of his rants and one-quarter of people who were as intense as he is.

Meulin: Big, BIG fan. Prolific fanfic writer, if a character pairing exists, rarepair or not, she wrote a fic about them. Likes all characters and as such thinks she must devote roughly the same wordcount for everyone she can. Disappears for months then reemerges with twenty new fics.

Porrim: Moderate fan, great cosplayer. The more complex the outfit, the more she wanted to make it. Routinely goes out in Jade’s Dead Shuffle and Three in the Morning dresses because she is incredibly proud of them.

Latula: Not a big fan. Knows most of what she knows through cultural osmosis because her friends got into it, but she’s not likely to ever read it herself. Likes how into it her friends are though.

Aranea: Much like Jane’s Dad, she’s the walking encyclopedia, except she memorized the content of almost every page, and if she doubts her knowledge, will immediately go to her computer and look up what she is unsure of. Tries not to talk people’s ears off and will only talk about Homestuck when asked about it.

Horuss: Super into it. To a maybe creepy degree. Doesn’t show in public but if you get access to his secret blogs it’s more like character shrines. Don’t dig too deep into it.

Kurloz: Read it, kinda into it, but not that big of a fan. He will talk about it but he’s pretty lukewarm about the whole thing.

Cronus: Read it to impress a crush, got genuinely into it, but isn’t a vocal fan.

Meenah: Didn’t read it, much like Latula learned about it because everyone around her talked about it. Unlike Latula, she mocks everyone for liking something she says is “for nerds”. Still kinda wants to read it to be part of the conversation but her pride of Not Knowing About Homestuck is too great to overcome that hurdle.