#and the point of this is to show how many different ways adhd people can be

[drdemonprince]

in regards to the concept of abled people not existing/abled folks being expected to do more in relationships with disabled folks... You make some good points about us all being disabled in different ways and not recognizing it, but I still feel that there's quite a vsst gap materially between say, an ADHDer who can lift and push 50lbs easily/without pain and one who can't. And i have run into big roadblocks in relationships with other lefty types as the person who can't! And I think that expectation should be talked about and accepted more because I know a lot of "leftists" who would never think to apply this to stuff like doing the dishes because they're hellbent on everyone doing Equal Amounts. It's all fun and IG graphics about disability justice until they decide that youre Nonbinary roomate named sock who doesnt do the dishes etc etc , then see yourselves to the door!

You're absolutely right that there are differences in what various disabled people can do and the privileges that affords. It's glaringly obvious as a problem in Autism spaces, where people who can mask and speak like me are listened to and trusted and frequently talk over people who are nonverbal and cannot mask.

Even there, though, there are massive problems in attempting to rank-order someone's level of ability rather than just speaking specifically about these things in terms of privileges and oppressions. People assume I'm capable of all kinds of things I am not capable of, for instance, or hold me to ableist standards of productivity and ability because I "seem more capable. And Autistic people whose disabilities are more obvious have the opposite problem -- they are denied agency, presumed to be incompetent, not permitted to take on challenges they could find stimulating and worthwhile, and are dehumanized, etc.

And so where I'm getting with this is that we can't determine from the outside what a person is capable of doing, or what they should be capable of doing. It's not that far of a logical path to go from saying "Oh, this ADHDer is not physically disabled, they can lift 50 pounds, they can do a lot of things that I can't do" to saying "This ADHDer didn't unpack all our luggage for two weeks after our trip, they are lazy and not pulling their weight."

Someone might have the literal physical ability to do something in terms of strength or mobility, but not have the ability to complete a task because of the disabilities they do have (ADHD, in this case), and even if we are disabled ourselves we may be primed to see those people as lazy, uncaring, not pulling their weight, and all kinds of ableist interpretations.

So broadly I get your point, it is undoubtedly true some of us have abilities that others don't. but I think there's no way to put this idea into practice beyond just trusting people when they say they cannot do a thing, and not passing harsh judgement against people we think ought to be able to do a thing but don't (and maybe can't). This goes back to the original point of the discussion -- wondering why so many other people seem to fail disabled people and not show up for them.

To your second point, about a lot of even leftist people bringing therapy and instagram infographic "boundary setting" advice to their relationships and expecting all chores to be divided up equally, yeah that's a big problem and it's been a big problem in interpersonal relationships for many decades at this point. Most people overestimate the portion of the chores that they do, underestimate the work their partners or housemates do, and aspire to "equity" in a way that drives them absolutely crazy with score-keeping and resentment. There's a lot of research on how that outlook absolutely poisons heterosexual relationships and has done so pretty much ever since women started getting the ability to say no to a chore. It's a big problem of individualism under capitalism at its root, I think.

And the social change needed is much the same thing -- people need to learn to actually trust their loved ones when they say they cannot do the dishes, cannot clean the gutters, can't drop off the rent check, etc. I think a disability justice politics of raising everyone's class consciousness regarding their own disabilities and others is the way to go, and a massive strengthening of community ties.

[do-you-know-this-adhd-character]

Do you know this (noncanon) ADHD character?

Evidence below the cut!

He moves all the time. He's too loud. He has no attention span. He forgor :(. He dissociates. He changes his mood quickly.

[inkskinned]

they want to talk about mental illness and acceptance and how everyone is a little ocd it's cute and quirky and their "intrusive thoughts" are about cutting their hair off and you say yours are about taking a razorblade to your eye and they say ew can you not and everyone is a little adhd sometimes! except if you're late it's a personality flaw and it's because you are careless and cruel (and someone else with adhd mentions they can be on time, so why can't you?) and it's not an eating disorder if it's girl dinner! it's not mania if it's girl math! what do you mean you blew all of your savings on nonrefundable plane tickets for a plane you didn't even end up taking. what do you mean that you are afraid of eating. get over it. they roll their little lips up into a sneer. can you not, like, trauma dump?

they love it on them they like to wear pieces of your suffering like jewels so that it hangs off their tongue in rapiers. they are allowed to arm-chair diagnose and cherrypick their poisons but you can't ever miss too many showers because that's, like, "fuckken gross?" so anyone mean is a narcissist. so anyone with visual tics is clearly faking it and is so cringe. but they get to scream and hit customer service employees because well, i got overwhelmed.

you keep seeing these posts about how people pleasers are "inherently manipulative" and how it's totally unfair behavior. but you are a people pleaser, you have an ingrained fawn response. in the comments, you have typed and deleted the words just because it is technically true does not make it an empathetic or kind reading of the reaction about one million times. it is technically accurate, after all. you think of catholic guilt, how sometimes you feel bad when doing a good deed because the sense of pride you get from acting kind - that pride is a sin. the word "manipulation" is not without bias or stigma attached to it. many people with the fawn response are direct victims of someone who was malignantly manipulative. calling the victims manipulative too is an unfair and unkind reading of the situation. it would be better and more empathetic to say it is safety-seeking or connection-seeking behavior. yes, it can be toxic. no, in general it is not intended to be toxic. there is no reason to make mentally ill people feel worse for what we undergo.

you type why is everyone so quick to turn on someone showing clear signs of trauma but you already know the fucking answer, so what's the point of bothering. you kind of hate those this is what anxiety looks like! infographics because at this point you're so good at white-knuckling through a severe panic attack that people just think you're stoic. even people who know the situation sometimes comment you just don't seem depressed. and you're not a 9 year old white kid so there's no way you're on the spectrum, you're not obsessed with trains and you were never a good mathematician. okay then.

mental illness is trending. in 2012 tumblr said don't romanticize our symptoms but to be fair tiktok didn't exist yet. there's these series of videos where someone pretends to be "the most boring person on earth" and is just being a normal fucking person, which makes your skin crawl, because that probably means you are boring. your friend reads aloud a profile from tinder - no depressed bitches i fucking hate that mental illness crap. your father says that medication never actually works.

you still haven't told your grandmother that you're in therapy. despite everything (and the fact it's helping): you just don't want her to see you differently.

[specialagentartemis]

Would you be open to elaborating more on your statement “#Admittedly I fundamentally don’t believe that many forms of ADHD and many of the tumblr-acceptable forms of autism are materially distinct”? I haven’t heard someone else voice this sentiment, but I think I have similar feelings to you around this topic and I am curious how others have come to this conclusion as well.

Sure.

When I was eight years old, I was diagnosed with ADD—Attention Deficit Disorder. This is considered a related but separate and distinct thing from ADHD.

When I was a teenager, a new DSM came out. ADD was no longer considered a distinct thing. My diagnosis changed to ADHD-I: Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, Inattentive Type.

My brain didn’t change, but the professional perception of what was up with it did.

Is ADD materially different from ADHD? Can you have ADHD without hyperactivity? That used to be no, now it’s yes; answer the first question, that used to be yes, now it’s no.

I see very similar things between ADHD and autism. Lots of people do. Traits like the ability to fixate on an interest to the physical inability to pay attention to anything else; infodumping past the point other people lose interest; penchant for physical clumsiness and poor coordination; emotional dysregulation; proclivity to sensory overload; anxiety over not emoting correctly… they’re ADHD things and autism things. Is bouncing my leg an autism stim or an expression of ADHD hyperactivity? Or is it just fidgeting like people do sometimes? I dunno. Are they in fact materially different things?

Similar to ADD, Asperger’s Syndrome is no longer a thing. It’s subsumed under Autism Spectrum Disorder now. Is “high functioning” autism the same material thing as “low functioning” autism? Is “high functioning” autism the same thing as “ADD”? Idk. In some people I think it is.

Especially in mental disorders and neurodivergences, diagnoses aren't physical, material things. They're names given to commonly occurring collections of traits or symptoms. There's no virus that causes ADHD, no bacteria that can be isolated that causes autism. COVID is caused by the virus SARS-CoV-2; strep throat is caused by Streptococcus bacteria. They have symptoms, but they are primarily defined by their root cause. ADHD, autism, and plenty of other Brain Things do have neurochemical correlates - that is, there is an aspect of physical reality to them, you brain is wired a certain way - but it's not like ADHD is caused by the ADHD Virus and Autism is caused by the Autism Germ. They're names given to observable sets of traits, in order to figure out ways of treating and managing them. And I think drawing a sharp distinction between them - THIS is ADHD, and THIS is autism, and they're NOT THE SAME! - is pointless.

I like to use the xkcd color survey as an analogy for... well, a lot of things about the human experience and the way we classify it.

If you weren't around in 2010, xkcd's Randall Munroe asked the internet to help crowdsource the true names and boundaries of colors. You could sit down at the screen, colors would appear before you by random hexcode, and you typed in the name you'd call it. You could do this as many times with as many colors as you wanted. This was the resultant chart he made:

This shows the entirety of fully saturated RGB color space. Each pixel is a different hex code. Each pixel represents a different individual's brain.

I usually use this chart to talk about sexual orientation/queer identities. But it's also a great analogy for the categorizations being diagnoses.

If "Blue" is, say, ADHD, and "Purple" is Autism, you can image how one person's "purple" experience may be wildly different from another "purple" experience but very similar to a "blue" experience. But they're labelled differently, for various reasons. Maybe the doctor had recently seen a lot of blues, and this one seems more purple in comparison. Maybe the doctor has a really specific idea of what blue is, so this can't be blue, it must be purple. Which is not to say some blues aren't wildly different from some purples, that some purples match the platonic ideal image in your mind of what "purple" is more than others. There's still clearly a lot of overlap in blue and purple experiences.

That's kind of how I think about ADHD and autism.

And who knows, maybe I think this just because I am actually autistic. I've asked myself that, wondered that before. Am I? Or are these just ADHD symptoms that overlap? And honestly at this point the answer isn't super important to me. I know how my brain works and how to deal with it when it gets bad, and there's very little that pursuing a diagnosis would do for me at the point I'm at in my life.

But when I say that I suspect the two aren't as materially distinct as they're sometimes made out to be, this is what I mean.

[hazzybat]

Non-exhaustive list of Actually helpful ADHD cleaning tips from somone with ADHD who has gone many months without cleaning at all before and is figuring out what works for them

- VACUUM EARLY. The usual cleaning rule is to vacuum last but that won't work for us. Get everything off the floor then vacuum while you still have motivation and you aren't tired yet. It'll feel nicer to walk around, it will get a lot of dust and dirt (so you're in a cleaner space) and if you get burnt out/distracted half way through then at least that big thing is done

If you have energy once everything is put away then vacuum again to get the dirt you missed.

- Take meds. If you have meds take them. They help. Even if you think they don't, even if you hate some side effects take them so you can have a nice house

- Music or a podcast. You have to play something to keep yourself occupied. TV will make you want to watch but audio will let you do other things

- Set the bar low. Only say you'll clean one room. Or you'll just put away clothes. Or you'll just change your sheets. Give yourself victories so you want to keep going. And then if you don't do more then hey! You did what you set out to do!

- Throw out things. I know hording tendencies are hard and if you are a crafter you want to keep every little scrap of junk but it'll help if you throw things out.

If you feel you have to keep that piece of cardboard ir plastic then get a zip lock bag and put all your little craft bits in it. You can keep it but if you use nothing from it then you can throw out the whole bag after a week or a month.

- Put on a cute apron/ tie your hair up/ pretend you are a 50s housewife. You have to make it interesting for yourself so play dress up! It'll help it be fun and it's like a work uniform. It'll help to tell your brain that now you're in "cleaning mode". And a fun apron will help protect you from any dirt which is extra good. Hell wear a pair of high heels and tiny booty shorts just to wear something different.

- Along those lines of making it fun/different pretend you are on a cleaning show! Pretend you're making a YouTube video about how to clean/look at this amazing transformation! I love videos of people with my level of depression or adhd actually clean and feel better. It makes me feel less alone so sometimes I pretend I'm also making a video for everyone else who struggles.

- If your house smells bad light a candle or incense or have room spray. You need to be able to clean up the bad smells so you have to be in the room with the bad smells. Make them less bad so you can get rid of them

.

- Wear gloves even if you aren't doing dishes.

- It's okay to do one room at a time. It's okay to do only bits of the room. It's okay to put away half your clothes then clean the desk them put away the other half of the clothes. You don't have to do everything in order

- Bring a big garbage bag with you everywhere so you can easily put everything there instead of filling up the bin in each room.

- Also bring a laundry basket with you. Anything that need to go in another room put it in the basket so you can stay in the room you're cleaning and not get distracted, then take it with you when you leave

- If you have a blorbo pretend they're helping you. They're encouraging you from where they're leaning against a wall or they're gonna come over after so you want your house to be nice for them. It can help you feel like there's a point to it all.

- You aren't a failure. You have a brain that works differently and it needs help to work best.

[maevearcher]

...okay so here's part two (part one is here) of my so-called analysis, attn. @pennyblossom-meta This covers second Kira, up to the beginning of Yotsuba arc. Part three will wrap it up, but my silly ADHD brain insists on cutting it into pieces...

After Misa makes her appearance, and after Light is officially brought in with the task force, things get frustrating and funny at the same time. L only really allows himself to be authentic in his inner monologue from now on, in sharp contrast to the half-lies or downright full lies he is poking and prodding Light with. To be honest, I can’t even imagine how much energy he consumed in this process of….on the one hand, actively and furiously trying to unravel this puzzle, suddenly turned even deadlier than before, with legitimate concern for his life….and on the other hand, putting up this cleverly constructed front of the somewhat inept and naïve person, relying on Light for help and friendship. While it isn’t unconceivable for him to need more sugar intake as the case gets trickier, both for fuel as well as for comfort, the manner in which he’s eating is so childish that it is clearly a ruse to push every button in Light’s mental panel. I can also see his constant eating as a…way of alleviating  restlessness, a way of releasing some stress by chewing on something, I feel he holds a lot of tension in his jaw and neck muscles the way some other people hold tension in their shoulders or lower back.

It's so endearing to me how he cannot suppress his own natural, human, fear of death once he realizes Kira and the second Kira have joined forces…..to the extent to which the only one he is being honest and vulnerable with is Soichiro. The way L admits to him that his judgment is basically gut instinct this time, instead of logical reasoning, and possibly clouded by his fear of death, speaks volumes about L’s ability and perhaps even willingness to form attachments, to care, to trust when trust is warranted. And I love him all the more for this emotional integrity.

However, in the “stealing Misa’s cell” scene, he has  regained enough composure to be a comedic genius, swear to god, Oscar-level acting, from the matter-of-fact way in which he’s bullshitting Light about the other Ls, to the fangirling over Misa, to the way he’s being so….”understanding” of Light’s emotions as  he sees his “girlfriend” arrested as the second Kira….  L does not show any signs of discomfort being among so many people, as long as his identity remains shrouded, so his lifestyle of isolation is definitely a logical choice, dictated by necessity, and not an emotional one, out of discomfort in social situations or inability to withstand human interaction. (Which in turn makes me wonder if, between cases, he does indeed go out and watch andmaybe even interact with people who have no idea who he is…. And I strongly believe he can play “normal” if he wants to, I mean, in the particular scene he had to maintain the weirdo act for Light, but in a between-cases situation  I don’t doubt it that he is able behave in a socially acceptable way if he wants to, and I’m mainly referring to sitting normally, because that’s what people notice first and that’s one thing he does nothave to do unless he so chooses).

Another thing I love in the manga, I don’t know how intentional this is, but I’ll give the creators the benefit of the doubt and treat it as intentional, I love it how the way he is drawn is slightly different, he is more childish and caricatural in some scenes, such as the cell phone one, and more mature (and handsome) and in accordance to his inner self in scenes such as Misa’s captivity…and even more markedly so in scenes containing his inner monologue. Such a nice little contrast between appearance and essence….

As for the “I’m…a pervert….?” line….It just occurred to me… Misa appears at this point to play some sort of weird game, seemingly disregarding that she has been told she was arrested as the second Kira, and now she’s apparently playing this coy game of being held prisoner by a stalker. And I wonder of the question shouldn’t be read as “Is it ME who’s the pervert here…?” instead of him puzzling over social norms which he is well too aware of…

(At this point I’m afraid it’s no longer an analysis, but a sort of….living it with him through it all.) I’m right there beside L as he all but unleashes his inner contempt towards Light in dripping venomous sarcasm when Light comes confessing that he might be Kira… I’m by his side as he undestands and is compassionate towards Soichiro’s anguish and allows him to have his confinement, albeit a mild one. L quickly realizes the depth of Soichiro’s pain and sense of justice, as he articulates his predicament for him when Soichiro can’t find the words. Soichiro says “I don’t know what kind of actions  I may take…” and L calmly, almost soothingly does him the utmost honor of empathising and not arguing with him, even translating Soichiro’s pain to the others: “Yes…I could imagine you killing your son and then yourself….”

And when Light renounces the Death Note, I feel his frustration as nothing really makes sense anymore, but his innate lie detector tells him that “…for some reason, it feels true…”, frustration escalating to the point to which he drops the honorific for Matsuda and swears internally “What the heck is going on…?” (and on that note, I think he said “what he hell”, but I’d really wish I knew Japanese so I’d understand the nuance, the severity of the profanity in the original…)

He is right. He knows he is. It’s not only that he’s childish and he hates to lose, but his instincts have never been wrong, and if he allows that sort of doubt to creep in, if he starts to second-guess his intuitions….then he’d collapse upon himself and crumble into a useless shell of a man. And I think that’s precisely what happens in his depressive period. It can well be childish sulking and not wanting to admit he was wrong…..but I think it’s also a profound dread that  he’s barely masking, a dread of losing his very essence, his very core. He has build his whole life, literally his entire life, on this unmovable pillar of a fact, that he can get things right….and now that absolute certainty which he has embraced in lieu of mother and father and school and friends and everything else…that absolute constant of his life is not so absolute anymore. It’s enough to send anyone into a tailspin, without the added pressure of his physical, biological life being on the line too.

It's not just that he is forced to doubt his reasoning, which alone could be enough to break him. But he is forced to look at the fact that he may never know the real answer. Which is even worse, and goes to show he CAN admit to being wrong as long as it comes clear in the end. His search is for the truth ultimately, not for self-gratification, as it may appear on a first reading.

And that’s why he is so damn excited when Light shows him the results concerning the Yotsuba involvement, that’s why he almost forgets for a second that it’s Light here, the one he still suspects of being Kira….it’s the first real sign of positive emotion in three freaking long months (honestly, he’s strong. Way stronger than me. He fights through his depression with lowkey sarcasm, but, god, that sort of stuff is hard to fight against…). He is revigorated by a new purpose, by a new path to the truth I was talking about earlier, even though he is struggling to shake off his self-doubt (“It is possible though my reasoning can be wrong, so you shouldn’t put much faith in me…” <- that hurt me on a personal level), and is masking how much this whole period has shaken him (“I was just sulking” <- much in the way we’re all saying “I’m alright, it’s fine” even though we feel like dying)

And then there’s this moment….when the police withdraw their support towards L concerning the Kira case….  There are a few moments in the manga that stood out to me, and made my heart enlarge and expand to build a place for him inside it. If I admired him until Ukita’s death….if I loved him afterwards…this is the moment when I wanted to protect him. It’s so multilayered as for his feelings here…. Of course, he wants to keep them safe, and he knows how dangerous it suddenly got, since they no longer have support from the police. Of course, he made all those provisions to ensure their financial safety in whatever situation….which is beyond telling for what kind of person he actually is. How can people paint him as cold and uncaring and unempathetic? He goes out of his way to ensure the well being of people who are loyal to him. Only because he isn’t the hearts-and-flowers and over-the-top gushing type?...He wants what’s best for them.

But, my heart bled with his reaction. See, I think he carries around a massive complex of abandonment, in a compensated form (a.k.a he leaves first, he pushes people away, he avoids all attachment so he won’t ever feel the pain of being abandoned). His words are telling. “…I think you should all go back to the police. I was all alone in the beginning. Almost every police officer turned their back to me …..”(lines delivered with his back to them, eyes covered by his hair).  These are emotional clues as for how hurt he is deep down. Even if I’m grateful (for the sake of his heart) that they ended up staying, I couldn’t help but wince at his pain in that moment..

....to be continued...

[chaoticdelinqueerwithglitter]

Adhd Sanzu propaganda because I want to, I already convinced someone:

He's a chaotic gremlin (Not need to explain that).

Same way that happened with Kakucho and Izana. Sanzu's days and life revolve around Mikey (I don't think I need to put examples here). Mikey is Sanzu's special interest and I'm saying it without shame! (Maybe a little bit of shame only)

Sanzu doesn't have sociallization skills. At all. But in a specific way that gives me adhd vibes (putting the trauma a part). Sanzu as a kid is sweet but weird. We can see him not reacting to Baji's tantrums in a way that yeah, can be bc he's used to, but also, his focus is not there. He's awkward in a way that makes me think that he's used to not fit in, to be look as a weirdo every time he talks. So he does the "I'm not gonna talk at all because when I do people hates me". Then, as a teen no division wants him because he's "a wild horse". Excuse me? Have you seen half of Toman? It's because he's weird and doesn't fit in, the wild part would not bother them so much on it's own.

Sanzu doesn't have a middle point. He's always extreme. When he followed Muto became extremly quiet and calm, almost like a shadow (again, it could be literal thinking of the orders Muto gave him).

His weird poses once he's not hiding himself anymore. All the Bonten scene, he's just doing his show, talking too much, too loud and too fast.

All the energy he have also in Kanto Manji. He's so hyped with being with Mikey. Acting loud, being weird and saying things that are only funny in his head bc he forgot to explain the joke (besides the cryptic timeleaping things I mean).

I know in Bonten and Kanto Manji Sanzu is unhinged, but there is something in the way he does it, not caring at all if people gets him or not. It screams adhd "fuck you all i'm not masking anymore" mood so badly!

The katana. The freaking katana is so over the top and so dramatic. And he obviously cares about his katana a lot, he never drops it in the fight against Toman, not even when Taiju sends him flying.

The teatricals of his plans in general. He kills Mucho with a katana in the place where the Kanto Incident took place. And he takes his mask after doing it. Such dramatic and aesthetically pleasing way of killing people.

The train. Hello? This is not NT thinking. Killing everyone, okay, sure. But with a train? What? And he brings his katana just in case? No middle point legendary level here.

He plans chaos. He literally thinks for days how to do the most random and chaotic unhinged thing ever! (The train, the train!)

He have literal thinking. Mikey told him to "smile" so he does it once he's finally serving his king. A big grinn all the time.

His addiction. Since adhd brains don't have impulse control, we tend to be addicts more than the average (I know this part doesn't prove it but it checks too).

The way he have so much beef with people that is happening only in his head. Yeah, he's a hater. But also, I can see a lot of rejection sensitive dysphoria and overthinking because he's mind is telling him everyone would reject him.

He was childhood friends with Mikey and Baji. No one is neurotypical there xD

Visual stimulation. Bright pink and so many vivid/strident colors. C'mon, his bike is pink and pretty! That aesthetic makes my adhdbrain happy. He's obsessed with pink in a not at all NT way.

He's hypersensitive and can't handle some smells (Takemichi, I'm so sorry for you).

Twisted sense of danger over here too. But different than Kakucho. Where Kakucho runs towards danger, Sanzu is the one causing it directly.

Sanzu being banned from meetings in the final timeline. Because he doesn't know when to shut up since he never did masking here.

THE UNMASKING METAPHOR! I left this one for the last because I just realized yesterday and it's beautiful. When he enters the 5th Division, he stops being loud and wild (he's still weird bc Sanzu). The same moment he starts wearing the mask. There is something there, a ND teen who doesn't fit, who is tired and just want to be like the others, being told to "just do that for not driving so much attention on you". And he does it. He wears the physical mask and he starts acting different, doing masking (not literal this time). Until he frees himself of the physical mask. And he stops masking his symptoms, his full personality. He doesn't give a shit anymore about getting too much attention, he's so sick of hiding, that he thrieves in attention now (even in the final timeline does that, he's a youtuber). Unmasking legendary level! (And hardcore masking when he does it)

Edit bc I was sure I wrote this but apparently not: Sanzu has no interest in forming new relationships either. Like Kakucho with Izana, he only does with Mucho because Mikey told him to. But even if he has zero interest in forming new bonds, he's still the center of attention (after unmasking), still being there loudly, being a big part of what marks the dynamic of the group. The "I don't wanna make new friends" but "I can't stop talking and being loud in a group", also a classical adhd mood!

So... I think that's all I can't think for now. It's probably messy and chaotic but hey, it's a post about adhd, so that's fine, right? 🙈

@just-sp-in-inginthevoid spreading adhd!Sanzu like I promise.

Ps: here is the Autistic Kakucho Propaganda in case someone is curious. This two are a pack and they hate it so much 🤣

[bluedalahorse]

A highly incomplete introduction to AuDHD for YR fans who want to write more Sara Eriksson

Greetings, friends! In my time in the Young Royals fandom, I’ve seen a few people mention they were interested writing Sara but they didn’t know how to approach her neurodivergence, or that they find it intimidating. I figured it might be worth compiling a post where I share both ADHD and autism resources I’ve found helpful, as well as elements of my personal experience I draw on when writing Sara.

This post is by no means exhaustive, and I could probably say a lot more. But I figured I’d get it out there in case it was helpful to anyone else.

Part One: Resources and Such

Yo Samdy Sam is an AuDHD vlogger who talks about her experiences, and I find her video about how autism and ADHD show up together pretty informative. Since Sara is both it’s good to have a grasp on these nuances! Yo Samdy Sam’s other videos are also ones I’d recommend.

I’m autistic, now what? is also a good channel to check out for someone talking about their day to day experiences of autism. Her videos are a little longer, but she focuses often on how things have changed from her childhood to her adulthood, which can be helpful if you’re thinking about Sara at different ages/writing flashbacks/working on fic set in the future/etc.

Chloe Hayden, who stars in another teen drama called Heartbreak High, is both autistic and ADHD, and very fun and positive. She presents quite differently than Sara does—lots more talking and energy—but I think she’s a good example of every neurodivergent person presenting differently. Also, people should watch Heartbreak High and write me some fic where Sara and Quinni meet because I want it.

How to ADHD is mostly geared toward practical life skills when you’ve got ADHD, but it doesn’t neglect the way those interact with emotional well-being. Sara might try some of these strategies while working on her school work and chores, either because an adult recommended she do so or because it’s part of a system she worked out for herself. Also, the videos are perfectly designed for ADHD brains, and i have acquired many ways to self-accommodate by watching them.

Jessie Gender is autistic and does commentary about lots of nerdy things and trans rights. I really liked her video on The Queen’s Gambit where she talks about autistic girls and sex. If you’re planning to write spicer fic about Sara (which people should write more of imo) then Jessie might be a good resource!

Marieke Nijkamp is a multiply disabled author, and one of her disabilities is autism. I still have to get around to reading her novel length books but her short story “Better For All the World” made me cry and is one of my formative sargust mentor texts. I really recommend it if you can get a hold of the anthology The Radical Element. (Although, heads up, the story deals with the Buck v Bell case of 1927, which is difficult subject matter.)

Disability in Kidlit has some great resources on writing autistic characters from a craft perspective. If you’re going to write specifically from Sara’s point of view, or even if you’re not, it’s worth reading this article about the autistic voice in fiction and this article about humanizing autistic characters. Other articles on the site are also great!

I’m going to talk more about my personal experiences under the cut below…

Part 2: My personal experiences & takeaways

Sooooo if you’ve met one AuDHD person, you’ve met one AuDHD person. I can’t really claim to speak for all AuDHD people, and I’ve only recently gotten my diagnosis anyway. That said, a lot of my own personal experience colors how I write Sara. So in the interest of transparency, I’ve gone ahead and listed some of the things I’ve thought about when I write her.

An important note before I get started—this is not, actually, meta or analysis of the show. I’m not trying to tell you want I “really” think is going on with Sara Eriksson, or what the writers intended, or what the show is saying. You may read her differently, and I’m sure your interpretation is just as informed by your own experiences as mine. So please don’t take this as a criticism if your interpretation is different.

What I am explaining here instead are the ways that my personal experiences as an AuDHD person have influenced my perception of Sara, which in turn translates to how I’ve made sense of her storyline and written her in fanfic. None of these are “excuses,” but they are explorations. You can look at it as me examining my own thinking and writing process. I’m also opening up about some of my experiences and being a little bit vulnerable. If you have questions about any of these things below, or you want to know more for your own fic, you are always welcome to message me. I may not be able to get back to you right away but I can help however I am able. There are also some things I might feel more comfortable discussing in depth one-on-one, so direct messages might be better in that case, too.

Anyway, let’s begin…

Polarized strengths and weaknesses: In my own experience as an AuDHD person there are some pretty dramatic contrasts between what I’m good at and what I suck at. I’m in the 99% percentile in some skills and the 2% percentile in others. This adds up to stuff like, I read the Sherlock Holmes stories for the first time when I was eight and Les Misérables when I was eleven, but I cannot drive a car or learn a choreographed dance no matter how hard I try. This is inexplicable to some people because they’re like, omg but you know all these advanced words! Surely if you can’t drive a car, it’s just because you aren’t trying hard enough! Likewise I think it makes sense to write Sara with a spiky profile of her own, and have characters react to that accordingly.

Perceptions of maturity: AuDHD adults aren’t children. AuDHD teenagers aren’t children either. And yet part of ableism is the infantilization of AuDHD people. I don’t have a lot of huge narrative squicks, but this is one of them, and it’s rooted in frustrations I’ve had over people treating me like I’m still a child. I always write Sara as the age she’s intended to be in the fic. If I see fanfic scenes or headcanon scenarios where someone is treating Sara like she’s five, and that’s spun as positive or never questioned, it can make me really upset and it’s an immediate back button. This is something I would recommend writers be on the lookout for if they’re incorporating Sara into a scene. Maybe this one bullet point is spinning a little far into criticism of other folks, but I think if I could communicate one thing to other people writing Sara, this would be it.

Special interests/hyperfixations: The thing about special interests is that autistic people often turn to them to replenish their energy and get their nervous systems back to a state of equilibrium. (For instance, me writing this post right now about my blorbo Sara Eriksson is me engaging with a special interest to put my nervous system in a state of equilibrium and put energy back in my body.) Sara’s time spent with Rousseau isn’t just wonderful because she loves horses, it’s also something that’s probably helping her recharge after a complicated day of navigating social situations at Hillerska. This is why she panics at the thought of losing Rousseau. Now, there’s still issues here in that Rousseau isn’t actually Sara’s horse. And I do think many teenage and adult autistics with low support needs, like Sara, understand that they can’t engage with their special interests all the time. But in order to write and understand Sara, I have to understand that she’s counting on Rousseau and horses more generally as something that helps her self-regulate and stay grounded. (In Heart and Homeland I also added art as one of her hyperfixations, so she often draws to recharge and make sense of things.)

Alexithymia: Alexithymia is essentially a trait people can have where they struggle to read their own emotions. It’s pretty common in autistic people and other neurodivergent folk; I have a mild version of it. For me, tuning into my emotions is a bit like trying to figure out what song is playing on a staticy radio. I might have to wait and “mess with the dial” a bit before I can fully understand what I’m feeling in a given situation. The question “how are you?” is a bit of a nightmare for me sometimes. Because my alexithymia is mild, I usually can figure out what I��m feeling in time, but I still often need extra effort to discern the nuances. I tend to apply this trait to Sara when I write her, mostly because she seems to need to sit with her feelings to understand how they’re affecting her. This is most evident when she’s trying to figure out if she like-likes August, though it comes out in other ways, too. Sara might just need a lot of time to process her emotions. Even when she’s showing her emotions and in them, they might take a lot of time to leave her system, and she might not catch on to how they’re affecting her right away. In Heart and Homeland, part of the reason Sara keeps a diary in the first place is so she can sort through what she’s feeling.

Heightened empathy: There’s an old stereotype that autistic people don’t have any empathy. This is not true, and some autistics even have an excess of empathy. I would argue that Sara (at least the way I interpret and write her) is one of them. This may seem counterintutive to some, as I have seen people argue that she is insufficiently empathetic to Simon and/or Linda. I see it differently, however. In my own experience, having an excess of empathy doesn’t always mean that I come across as loving and sweet to the people in my life. Sometimes it can make it so you’re so full of feelings toward others that you can’t act. I often function clumsily in conflicts, and feel like I’m caught between different parties, especially if it’s a situation where everyone appears to be hurting. It’s enough to make me shut down and not do anything, or even side with the person who to everyone else is obviously wrong. Especially when I was a teenager, the answer about “who to side with” in a conflict wasn’t always clear to me. For instance, in college, I dated a girl who constantly belittled me and many of my friends, and I let her get away with it because I was sensitive to the ways she was genuinely hurting about life. I am not proud of it now, and I did break up with her eventually and made efforts to patch things up with my friends when I could, but it also took me two and a half years to get there. Thanks to life experience and therapy, I am now better at recognizing red flags and overriding my excess empathy to call people out on their shit when they need it. It took me time, though, and I can’t help reading a lot of that into Sara. In a way, I tend to think her hope that August will own up to his actions is born out of heightened empathy for both August and Simon. She pins her hopes on this solution because, in her mind, it meets Simon’s needs because the person who harmed him has come forward and is willing to be held accountable for his actions and it meets August’s needs because he can find relief in owning up to his shit and stop drowning in regret. Now, yes, Sara is absolutely misleading herself and ignoring crucial details of the situation because she’s in love, and she does misread what Simon actually needs in the situation. This is very typically teenage. At the same time, when I write her in fic, I see this as tied to an excess of empathy, and not a lack of it.

Inertia/Executive Functioning Struggles: Building on what was said above… some AuDHD people (like myself) can really struggle with making a plan and getting started on tasks, and the bigger the task, the bigger the struggle. “Tasks” is a word we usually apply to things like doing laundry, so we tend to think of executive functioning as an unemotional thing, but it can also apply to emotional stuff like, say, having a big conversation that needs to be had or breaking up with someone you know you need to. (Like I said above. Two and a half years with that shitty person in college!) In fact, I would say inertia can even make things harder with social/emotional stuff, because math homework is at least consistently math homework, but social/emotional situations can shift and become more complicated over time. At Hillerska, we see Sara get involved in ever-shifting social politics, and it takes things escalating to the field scene for her to take action at the end of S2. (In a more minor example, Sara taking a while to get ready in the parents’ weekend episode, and Linda rushing her out the door, is a great example of Sara being affected by inertia.)

Menstrual ick: Increasing numbers of studies show that people with uteruses who have ADHD, autism, or both are way more likely to have painful periods and PMDD. This is true for me—one of the biggest signs that my period is coming is that I am absolutely convinced everyone hates me. I don’t know how to apply this to Sara directly, but periods are part of life and if you happen to write about her dealing with menstrual nonsense, this might be something to keep in mind.

Sensory issues: A lot of people are aware of sensory issues for neurodivergents, and every neurodivergent experiences sensory issues differently, and not always in ways that are immediately apparent to neurotypicals. For me, I hate vacuums and car horns and bananas, but for my roommate, she hates any lights on after 7 PM and finds chocolate overwhelming. Sara doesn’t mention any particular sensory issues, but presumably she has some and masks her reactions, so uh… make up the ones that make sense to you, I guess. Or, don’t make them up, but maybe read about a bunch of different people’s experiences of sensory issues and work from there. External stuff like being tired, sick, or being on one’s period can heighten sensory issues, so think about vulnerability factors that might increase them for Sara.

Rejection sensitivity: Many people with ADHD feel rejection or criticism from others with a high level of intensity, even as physical pain. (Fun fact: PMS makes my rejection sensitivity even worse!) I don’t know if we see Sara feeling rejection sensitivity onscreen much in YR, but I can’t help but imagine she’s dealt with it in the past, based on the way she says she sometimes feels like the worst person in the world, when she’s talking to August in 2.3. If Sara’s had therapy (which I assume she’s had in some form because she knows breathing exercises) then maybe this is something she’s worked on coping strategies.

Accommodations in school: I don’t actually know how this works in Sweden specifically or at a school like Hillerska, but I’d love to hear how it works! Someone else should weigh in if they know things. But I would not be surprised if Sara has the legal right to certain accommodations in school such as extended time on tests, guided notes, etc. (Not being Swedish myself, I’m not sure what the equivalent to the Americans With Disabilities Act would be in Sweden.) One thing to note here is that Sara would get to decide herself whether she actually uses her accommodations or not. I would say, based on my observations of teenagers, is that some neurodivergent teenagers tend not to use their accommodations so they can avoid sticking out among their peers. This seems like it might be the case for Sara, since she wants to make friends at Hillerska and not stand out. The other thing she might encounter at Hillerska specifically is teachers who don’t want to meet those accommodations because they’re “old school” and, frankly, ableist. Accommodations are something one should take into account when writing Sara’s academic life, though.

Double empathy problem: This is something that the psych community is talking about more lately, and essentially the idea here is that neurotypicals communicate best with other neurotypicals whereas neurodivergents communicate best with other neurodivergents. That doesn’t mean both groups can’t communicate with one another (and even reducing it to two groups is kind of oversimplifying things, because obviously culture and other things impact communication too) but there are different patterns of communication at work here. In my own life, I vibe well with people whose neurotypes are similar to mine—this is exactly why @coruscantrhapsody and I are such iconic roommates. The Double Empathy Problen is theorized to have played a role in stereotypes about autistic people not having any empathy. (PS: I don’t actually think August has undiagnosed ADHD in canon, at least not according to the writers. Still, I think it would be pretty interesting to write him in fanfiction as someone who has a missed childhood diagnosis given the way he struggles with rejection sensitivity, impulsivity, and emotion regulation, and the way that the adderall addiction could be a form of self-medication that has gone awry. For that reason I think it’d be interesting to see a fic where the sargust relationship is viewed through the lens of the double empathy problem. Obviously not in a way where the ADHD excuses August’s harmful behaviors, but you know. An added layer of delicious nuance. Alternately, I know some folks like to headcanon Wille as autistic. Sara really clicking with autistic!Wille when they finally get a chance to talk is something I’d like to see!)

Neurodivergent community: As far as I can tell, Sara doesn’t really have neurodivergent community. This makes me sad, as someone who strongly benefits from friendships with other neurodivergent people. I would like her to have some in someone’s fic, please! Let me know if you write it.

That’s all for now… maybe I’ll add more in a future post.

For any other AuDHDers, do you have any elements of your personal experience that you incorporate into how you interpret or write Sara’s character? Feel free to reblog and add on, if you feel so inclined. (But also, no pressure.) Like I said, every ND person experiences this stuff differently, so someone else may have completely different experiences than me.

[katboykirby]

Autistic Beel is very real to me personally, as an autistic person (special interest, not very expressionate, etc). I also very much agree with the Satan and Levi headcanons too.

Oh this is interesting because I don't think I've heard about an autistic! Beel HC before? Usually (in my experience anyway) it's autistic! Levi and very very occasionally autistic! Satan

Now, full disclosure that I'm not autistic myself, so any information I'm familiar with comes from research + the experiences of my irl partner, who got his autism diagnosis as an adult. (I do have ADHD and I know that there's some relation/overlap there, but I'd still trust the words and experiences of actual autistic people over my own)

And I can definitely see some aspects of autism in Beel! Like you said, he doesn't tend to show much of any particularly strong emotions, at least not openly or on the surface - he tends to keep a fairly flat expression (and his usual frown could be interpreted as the classic neurodivergent "resting bitch face" aha) and his voice clips reflect this as well - he's definitely not as affective as say, Mammon or Asmo! Beel is a lot more quiet than his brothers, on average. He's not really very emotive or expressive outside of specific or extreme situations. Although, I don't tend to go for the romantic options with him or read his personal Devilgram stories all that often (since I'm a Satanfucker) but I'm aware that he's usually more emotive in romantic moments with MC, or when things get tense/dramatic with his family.

Speaking of which, something that we do occasionally see is Beel losing his temper and becoming very angry - to the point that he loses control of himself and goes on rampages. The most significant examples of this in the main story would be Lessons 4 and 5 of the original game, when he flies into a rage over some custard and ends up destroying half of MC's room; and the whole plotline in Nightbringer revolving around Beel's rampage at the royal castle that almost resulted in Diavolo having to lock him up because of how much destruction he caused. I know that "autism rage" is pretty negatively stereotyped (unfairly so, in my opinion) but anger is definitely a real struggle for individuals with Autism Spectrum Disorders

The whole food thing is definitely interesting in this context as well (and I assume this is what you meant by "special interest?" Lmk if I'm wrong) because Beel is the complete opposite of the common autism stereotypes when it comes to food! We often see the idea of autistic individuals having a very limited scope of foods that they actually enjoy, because things like texture, flavour, and sensation are all very different and experienced in a different way than neurotypicals. Autistic individuals are stereotyped as "picky eaters" because it's common for them to have very specific "safe foods" and/or not enjoy very many exotic or strong flavours. Beel definitely does not have a problem with this, lmao. And we know that his love/obsession with all foods isn't something that came about just when he was made the Avatar of Gluttony, since he was a big food lover as an angel as well (though his eating habits, admittedly, weren't as extreme back then.) Interestingly, a lot of research shows that people with autism are more likely to struggle with binge eating disorder, which has some intriguing implications for Beelzebub 👀

It's entirely possible that exercise & working out and/or sports like Fangol could be special interests for him as well! Correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe that Beel has mentioned or alluded to feeling restless if he doesn't get at least one workout in every day, like he doesn't feel that his day is "complete" if he hasn't done his exercise routines. This could suggest that he experiences the common autism symptoms around adherence to routines and inflexibility when it comes to changing up his usual habits and activities 🤔

This reply has actually become pretty long, so I'll just stop myself here before I get carried away even further 😅

Overall, I think that there's definitely merit to autistic! Beel HCs, and I'm sure that people who are actually autistic and/or are big fans of Beel himself (and who would have read far more of his in-game content than I have, like his Devilgrams) would be able to go into even more detail than I have!

[lunathebee]

THE MOON BOYS WITH A ADHD S/O

A/n: I have no words to justify myself; I did not avoid this request, nor did I disrespect the anon who requested it. This is just the war between me and my really bad memory problem (and stacks of endless work). Thank god, my brain just randomly decided to remember this.

Warning: Like the title said, not everyone can relate to this HC, and if so, please don't throw hate or say "Steven would never do that" or "I think Marc hates it," etc. Please, my masterlist has plenty of HC for everyone; leave this one for the people who really need it, aye?

🍓 Steven Grant 🍓

There wouldn't be much of a problem, I think.

If you told him you have ADHD, Steven would be a bit surprised—not because you had it, but because it is something new to him.

Man spent hours reading books and conducting research to learn more about you.

And I swear at some point, he would find himself mumbling symptoms with wide eyes.

"...zoned out or some would talk really fast—wait, I do that."

I don't know why, but I always feel connected to Steven in a different way, like the way he acts isn't just for quirky scenes or to make the audience laugh.

I truly (with my whole heart and deepest respect) believe Steven is somewhere on the same side as you (not ADHD, but the chance of him having another condition that affects him is high).

So yeah, I think you guys would share some similar moments together.

Steven would help you with many things and is always so kind and nice.

He takes a special interest in your fidget toys, so he hopes you don't mind that.

🍓 Marc Spector 🍓

"What is that?"

You have to explain it to him.

"Oh...Oh...Okay...Um Uh huh"

So serious and focused, Marc loves you, so if there is something about you that he doesn't know yet, he will try his best to understand.

I don't think he would be bothered by it that much.

Always keep an eye out just in case you guys are in public and someone looks at you "weird."

He's one of those grandparents who says, "You used to LOVE this thing because you told me that when you were 5, so I bought you 2000 stuff of it even though you're now an adult."

Marc might be a bit confused, but he's got the spirit!

Your shirt doesn't feel "right?" Maybe a jacket would be better?

You're feeling overwhelmed by your homework?That's okay, let's take a break.

Overall, I would say Marc really tries his best to make everything around you guys more comfortable for you.

Marc = best lover <3

🍓 Jake Lockley 🍓

I won't lie to you; this is just my brutally honest opinion on Jake.

At first, he would get bothered by it and might even be annoyed on some days.

Jake doesn't understand why and how on earth you can't make a decision on picking anything, or how you always say you're going to do this thing and then completely forget about it 15 minutes later.

But he has more important things to deal with, so he doesn't show that he's bothered by them.

"Bae! Why don't you throw the empty toothpaste away?" Jake asked one night

"I'm so sorry, I keep forgetting about that. Sorry, babe, I'm sorry."

Jake decided to let it go; it was just toothpaste, right? What is the big deal?

And then later on, he noticed you lingering in the bathroom a bit longer, how you always touch the toothpaste to make sure it's not empty, and how you also DOUBLE check that.

Everything turns into a big mess when Jake sees you having a breakdown from your trip to the supermarket.

When you tell him you went there to buy toothpaste but forgot, and when you DID remember, you can't remember if the tube is empty or full despite checking almost every day, his heart breaks.

Jake would hold you and comfort you, feeling guilty that he was the one causing you so much distress.

After that, he will have a totally different view of you and your chronic condition.

Jake will just silently do his job if he ever sees you forgetting something or leaving something randomly on the kitchen table.

He listens to you talk about 50 hobbies and plenty more.

Jake learns how to adapt just fine; your condition doesn't define you; you're his lover, not a burden.

[austinsastrology8991]

> Mer{Cure}Y <

I gots some drugs for yall fiends > plug back <

1 > No one wants to talk to each other Hi how are you? good thanks :) Nice day isnt it. It for sure is! Hey wyd. not much wbu. Im chilling. Same lol. what are you doing? Im watching something on youtube. Oh nice. Wbu? im watching anime. Oh cool. No wonder we are all fiends for some entertainment, because we are incapable of entertaining each other. 2 > The insecurity of not sounding smart makes everyone conform into a retarded form of one another. We all have the same views. The same topics are constantly being brought up. And when someone speaks about something new, everyone loses interest because no one can handle the reality that maybe they don't know something. Oh and the only reason you listen to each other is to get something from that person whether that be attention, or clout or whatever the fuck you define as your ends. Since most of us, are in a state of fear, we aren't able to talk about something we don't know about. 3 > Mercury is about confidence. And most of yall bite your tongues but love to act tough. Every person who has told me they are hard, is incapable of pushing the envelope. I think you are more caught up with your own image, and are afraid of not appearing tuff. But guess what true courage is about revolting against whats normal, or the courage to be wrong. Show dont tell true?. ANd im done hearing about whoever the fuck you think you are. Show me something interesting dont tell me what you think you are. Don't tell me what you want me to hear. 4 > Conversations are being ruined by people who are constantly telling others they are wrong. Excuse me fucker. But are you capable of arguing against me? No beyond that. Can you stick to the conversation at hand, or are you going to source the same sources every SJW ever has cited. Your not even a real person, your just mimicrying beliefs you believe in. Pathetic tbh. Hey whatever more people will agree with you because we are all jsut looking for a place to belong. so good for you. You chose the easy way out bravo. I thought conversations were a place to discuss and learn. But your so focused on being correct. to me you look wrong, but you do 'sound' right because well .. to reiterate we all want to be right so we band together with whats acceptable. 5 > School fucked you. You were told to sit down and stfu. and if you were invested in to the conversation in the class room. You were memed on by all ur class mates. School breeds insecurity, and teaches people to sit down. Thats why some of yall are so forceful in standing up for yourself. Trying to break the chains of the past. And before you point the finger at me. Don't shoot the messenger. we were all brainwashed, I dont blame anyone trying to change the foundations of your past, considering how fucked it all really is 6 > "Im not that smart" This is just an excuse. Learning everyone can do. You just need to concentrate and put effort in. "oh I canT beCauSe I HaVe ADHD" well my bad just take more of that meth shit that way you can turn into mini hitler and become smart I guess. Also if your so insecure go cry to your psychologists like ffs. Eveyrone can be smart. YOu just need to develop your confidence > Rule 3 <

7 > You learn from what you see. monkey see monkey do. if your surrounded by a bunch of dumb cunts. YOur a dumb cunt now. If your being put down by people in your clique you are surrounded by negativity. If your being constantly praised for nothing you are surrounded by yes man. Find diversity. use discrepency. Its perfectly okay to judge people. stop suppressing that urge to appear 'normal' Many people are not normal but we are so caught up in trying to act normal when we are all pretty fucky 8 > The past was different and so will be the future. Would you shut the fuck up with the pessmism. Things will change. You need to be open to receiving it. You've had happy times as much as youve had bad times. ANd if your trapped in a big pit hole of death. well you better get climbing because no one can be bothered to help anyone anymore because we are probably the most selfish we've ever been ever (social mediaaaaasaa) and the adults are still trying to adjust to the internet because the world been flipped (itll flip again) 9 > No one cares about your opinion more than you Thats why your so uncomfortable speaking your truth. Because everyone is more into their own truths. So we practise the art of self affirmation by denying other peoples truths. When everything exists for a reason. WE are so caught up in making our own manifestations true by denying others 'truths.' Selfish cunts.... But hey wtf am I saying Im just an anonymous pluto I don't know shit ;')

My next post is my last post. Don't cry. I have my reasons. My next post however is going to my >master piece< ;')

[emoprincey]

Sanders Sides and autism

Ok, it's the last day of @autisticsidesweek today, and I figured this would be the perfect time to post this essay about how I think Sanders Sides relates to autism.

Headcanons about the Sides being autistic are pretty commonplace, which isn't surprising given how many autistic people there are in the fandom, and in fandoms in general, for that matter. As an autistic fander, I am of course partial to these headcanons. But that's not exactly what I want to address today.

Today, I want to talk about how the concept of Sanders Sides naturally lends itself to having autistic-coded characters, and how this coding is actually a fundamental part of the show.

Before I start, I think it's relevant to mention that Thomas has ADHD. This has a lot of symptoms in common with autism, and is probably a big reason why some of the Sides resonate so strongly with autistic people. However, I think there are other aspects of their characterisation that also make them unintentionally autistic-coded.

First of all, the characters have very clearly defined personality traits and interests. While autism can lead to someone having an unclear sense of self, it does come with a need to sort things into categories. An autistic person might define themself by specific traits, such as being creative or logical.

Additionally, the Sides' interests often seem like special interests - that is, an interest that feels more important than a regular interest, and I speak from experience when I say a special interest can consume every waking thought and make it impossible to think about anything else. This is most obvious with Virgil, whose interest in emo subculture and music informs not only his taste in music but his dress sense, and his personality. But this is also true of the other sides - Roman is not actually a prince, but he dresses as Prince Charming and always tries to act like a prince, Patton tries to fit the role of a dad, and Logan a teacher. All of them base their personalities and styles around one specific interest or trait, the way an autistic person might do with a subject they're interested in.

Even the fact that they wear the same clothes all the time ties in with this. Autistic people very often have comfort items, including clothing which they want to wear every day. From a meta perspective, their costumes obviously stay the same to make characters played by the same person more distinct, and because of wardrobe budget. But in-universe, these are characters who have the ability to shapeshift into whatever they want, and wear whatever they want, yet they always choose to stick to the same outfits.

Secondly, the characters in Sanders Sides have difficulty seeing things from anyone else's point if view. This is an integral part of the series, and many of the plots revolve around the Sides struggling to understand each other’s perspectives. Logan and Roman notably get into a lot of arguments as a result of not understanding each others perspectives. Low empathy or varying empathy levels in different areas can be a trait of autism, which is part of the reason autistic people find it hard to relate to others, and I think this is present in Sanders Sides.

I've already mentioned how autistic people often group things into categories. This can also come across in a very black-and-white way of thinking about things. From personal experience, I'd describe this as only seeing things one way or another - for example, finding it difficult to compromise, or accept that people can do both good and bad things without being sorted into the categories of Good and Bad. This isn't the case for all autistic people, but both of these examples are particularly relevant to Sanders Sides. The whole idea of the light side/dark side dichotomy is a pretty straightforward example of this kind of thinking.

Patton in particular has a very black-and-white way of thinking about morality, and inability to see things from a perspective other than his own. Another thing linked to autism is a strong sense of justice - or at least, a strong sense of perceived justice. This means that autistic people tend to cling to the morals they've been taught, (whether that is because of the black-and-white thinking, or finding comfort in clearly defined rules in a world where little else seems to make sense, or a combination of the two). This is exactly what Patton does. He also struggles to see how the moral standards he's been taught could possibly be wrong.

It would be remiss of me to write an essay about autism-coding in Sanders Sides and not dedicate a section to Logan specifically.

Logan has a lot of more well-known autistic traits. He likes schedules and punctuality, meeting deadlines and making sure all of his time is planned. A lot of autistic people struggle to function without a rigid schedule and don't like changes to plans.

He also has a tendency to take things literally. This is shown by his panicked reaction of "who gave him a knife?" to Virgil’s "can I take a stab?". He always clarifies when he means something figuratively, because he would need the clarification if someone was talking to him. Idioms and slang phrases don't come naturally to him, so he uses note cards to help himself remember them.

He's very single-minded and struggles to see things from other's perspectives. Although he makes a clear effort to try, it does take conscious effort that it probably wouldn't take an allistic person. When discussing schedules with Roman, he doesn't see anything wrong with only leaving 5 minutes for creativity, because that's not his domain.

Difficulty connecting to or identifying one's own emotions can also be a trait of autism. Logan states frequently that he doesn't have emotions, or doesn't feel anything. That is honestly what autism can feel like sometimes. Even if the emotions are there, it can be really difficult to tell the difference between sadness and anger, feeling tired or frustrated or just hungry. This reminds me of Logan because even though he's clearly been angry and excited and scared on screen, he still insists that he doesn't feel those emotions.

This is all to say, I think the fact that the sides base their lives on specific interests, generally have difficulty empathising with each other, and other aspects of their characterisation make them unintentionally autistic-coded. This format of show especially lends itself to that because of the characters personifying abstract concepts and having very distinct designs.

[sciderman]

How do you feel about different animated Peters? Do you have a favorite out of them?

hooh man, i know i say that i've consumed every little bit of spider-man media ever but it's really not true actually, and i think the thought of trying to watch every single animated version of peter parker kind of makes my brain explode. there are so many. i didn't actually grow up on spider-man cartoons, i only really got into spider-man comics in my late teens so my point-of-reference for peter parker will kind of always be the 616 comics, first-and-foremost.

i did watch a bit of ultimate spider-man as it was airing and i probably am one of the very few people on the planet who's kind of oddly soft on it! i have complicated feelings about ultimate spider-man. i feel about it the same kind of way that i feel about way's deadpool run. that it's an entirely annoying depiction of the character that is full to the brim with irritating jokes that don't land and package up the character to be a nutszo joke-a-minute lols random haha type deal but - i see oddly sincere and sympathetic and self-aware moments in there that make me inexplicably fond of that particular portrayal.

i don't know - i actually really love it when peter's portrayed as an actual weirdo. not the uptight square-boy you usually see, or this quirky boy-scout who's just kind of bland and cute and nerdy - but a peter parker that is actually unapologetically annoying. like you can't stand to be with him. i kind of love to see it. i don't know, i want him to be annoying. i think he should be annoying. and i love that he's fucking insane. like, objectively. he's not a sane man. he's adhd incarnate. and he's stupid. he has heroic moments, yeah, but he's also stupid and a jerk. i don't know. i'm probably giving it way too much credit, but compared to what came after (disney xd's spider-man (2017), looking at you) it's fun and kind of a very weird departure to your usual spider-man fare. deadpool appears in this show for one singular episode also so naturally thta is enough to make my brain go brrr.

(i've actually been really wanting to write a fic set in this universe. it's a universe i'm kind of interested in exploring, actually. been rotating it in my mind for a really, really long time. i'm almost ashamed to admit it, but every version of wade wilson fires up my brain, and i'm really, really interested in fleshing out this strange, i-was-a-child-soldier-turned-teenage-mercenary wade wilson. sorry. off-topic now. spider-man. we're meant to be talking about spider-man.)

disney xd's spider-man (2017) sorry you are so ugly and so boring. she doesn't exist to me. i hate that stupid nerdy off-brand tom holland ass twink with the green eyes. hate her. she is so boring. and her voice is even worse than drake bell (how could that be possible)

60's spider-man fucks. binged it so hard during my college days because it put me into the flow-state while i was working on my animation projects. i love that square boy. i love how macho he sounds when he's in the suit. i love his stupid fucking spider with the six legs. i love that they didn't have the budget for the extra two legs. i love him. he got me through college. almost tempted to do a stream of 60s spider-man so you all can enjoy it with me. it's a treasure. and thank you, 60s spider-man, for all the reaction images.

spectacular spider-man is very beloved, and i NEAARLY watched it all the way through, but – i don't know, i kind of just... don't like that peter parker very much. i couldn't tell you why. he's just a little boring to me. maybe it's the same criticism people slam onto andrew garfield's spider-man, the "he's too cool" argument. he's just not cringefail enough. he's kind of a bit boring. and his stupid SHIRT TAG that is NEVER TUCKED IN makes me FROTH at the MOUTH. i didn't wind up finishing the series because the love-triangle stuff just got way too exhausting for me. usually i eat up the peter parker drama but this particular case it really is a "why on earth is everyone in love with him. he's so boring." kind of situation. sure, it's a universal constant, but in this series it really is true. i wouldn't waste my time with him. sorry. mid. 5/10 peter parker portrayal. but the art and animation and theme song fuck.

i don't think i've watched enough of the other series to talk about them - which i feel kind of embarrassed about. i wanted to watch the animated series (1994) but just - never got around to it. i just prefer the comic-book format over animation, funnily. the irony, of me being an animator by trade, but preferring the medium of comic books. but like - i don't know. i prefer books over movies too. i just like doing more brain-work. it's why i like to write and draw more than i like to watch things. i don't like passive consumption. i want to put my brain to work. so - soooo, when it comes to watching things, i'm kind of terrible at it.

i think i should do a massive research session where i watch every spider-man series (or at least as much of them as my brain is willing to) - so i can do a comprehensive ranking of all peter parkers. if i have the time for that sort of thing (i don't.)

one day, maybe, one day. it could make a very fun video essay. i'd love to make a video essay, one day.

[maaarine]

Women are being diagnosed with ADHD at unprecedented rates. Here's why. (Kaelyn Lynch, National Geographic, Jan 16 2024)

"There are three types of ADHD: hyperactive, inattentive, and combined.

Girls and women tend to have the inattentive type, characterized by disorganization, forgetfulness, and struggles with starting and staying on task.

“They’re more likely to be seen as daydreamers, or lost in the clouds,” says Julia Schechter, co-director of Duke University’s Center for Women and Girls with ADHD.

Even hyperactive or combined-type girls often display their symptoms differently than boys—such as excessive talking, twirling their hair or constantly shaking their legs, and emotional reactivity.

“Their symptoms are just as impairing, but can fly under the radar,” Schechter says.

When clinical psychologist Kathleen Nadeau co-authored Understanding Girls with ADHD in 1999—one of the first real attempts to characterize how ADHD appeared in young girls—the research community still thought of ADHD almost exclusively as a “boy disorder.”

“We were laughed at during conferences,” says Nadeau, now recognized as an authority on women with ADHD.

“They said, ‘We’ve got these guys that are in the principal’s office three times a week, getting suspended and throwing spitballs. And you’ve got these quiet girls making honor roll grades and you think they have ADHD?’”

While that attitude has started to change, the overwhelming majority of research on ADHD has been done in boys and men, leading to the hyperactive, disruptive boy stereotype of ADHD.

Many girls with ADHD excel in school, though it comes at a price—they may get an A on a paper but stay up the night before writing it after being unable to focus for weeks.

“Girls work very hard to hide their problems. ‘I don’t want the teacher to be mad at me, I don’t want my parents to be mad at me,’” Nadeau says.

Experts call this masking, or how people socialized as female tend to find ways to compensate for their symptoms due to societal expectations.

“They have to put in at least twice the effort of other people if they’re determined to do well,” Nadeau says.

“You can’t let people know that you’re falling apart,” says Janna Moen, 31, a postdoctoral research scientist at Yale Center for Infection and Immunity with a PhD in neuroscience, who was diagnosed with ADHD in her late 20s.

Like many girls who go untreated, Moen scored top grades in school and went on to have a successful career, but years of masking her symptoms contributed to her developing mental health and self-esteem issues, and struggling in personal relationships.

Like Moen, who showed symptoms of ADHD from childhood, girls and women are more likely to have their symptoms mistaken for emotional or learning difficulties and are less likely to be referred for assessments.

Gender bias also may play a role: in two studies where teachers were presented with vignettes of children with ADHD, when the child’s names and pronouns were changed from female to male, they were more likely to be recommended for treatment and offered extra support.

All these misconceptions mean that girls with ADHD are being overlooked and untreated well into adulthood.

As David Goodman, the director of the Adult Attention Deficit Disorder Center of Maryland and an assistant professor at Johns Hopkins School of Medicine, points out, the ratio of boys to girls with ADHD in childhood is about three to one, while in adults, it’s about one to one, suggesting that ADHD prevalence is more equal across genders, with women being diagnosed later. (…)

Compared to their neurotypical peers, women with ADHD are more likely to suffer from anxiety and depression, substance abuse, and eating disorders.

They are also five times more likely to experience intimate partner violence, seven times more likely to have attempted suicide, and have higher rates of unplanned or early pregnancy.

One Danish study showed that the risk of premature death in women with ADHD was more than twice that of men with ADHD, potentially due to women being less likely to be diagnosed and receive treatment."

[lutawolf]

Stay By My Side Ep 6 soft D/s elements

This episode, Jiang Chi and Bu Xia hits some bumps. It's classic bumps, but it's unique to them, which is what makes it interesting.

So we start the episode with Bu Xia accusing Jiang Chi of causing their relationship to be misinterpreted. Right off, I heard people checking out with this scene. It didn't make sense to them, but I've been like this. My first kiss was actually a girl, initiated by me, and then I completely flipped my shit on myself. Sometimes there is just a war inside you that you have to fight. For me, it was society and for my daughter it was her own "normy expectations."

Jiang Chi is understandably confused. However, if you pay attention, this is where I really see Dom in him. He isn't in it for just the rewards, he is trying very hard to meet the needs of his skittish sub baby. Now, I will say that the D/s element are very soft, but they are still there. I often hear comments about D/s and age. Lifestyle is different from scene and many cultures, especially Asian, have a natural inclination towards a D/s aspect. I actually explain why this is, but I can't link it because assholes keep reporting my posts. *I can literally hear my daughter going, "Mom, your ADHD is showing, back on topic."* Sorry!

The interview cracked me up. Jiang Chi says yes, and Bu Xia says no. Guess who won? Bu Xia, looks at him but backs down. The way Jiang Chi looks at Bu Xia when he is talking is so cute. At this point, Jiang Chi just thinks that Bu Xia doesn't want everyone to know yet, and he is okay with that. He doesn't let Bu Xia say they aren't dating, but he doesn't confirm that they are either. Compromise.

Notice the clear and precise. "There is no misunderstanding. I meant what I said."

gif credit to ueasking

Bu Xia's dreams are telling him what he wants, but he isn't ready to deal with it yet. Him falling off the side of the bed is my favorite thing because, I think, we've all done it. 🤣🤣🤣

The more I watch, the more I think that Jiang Chi is playing the long game. He is too aware of Bu Xia's confusion and is too understanding of it, and yet at times he reels him in.

Jiang Chi has learned the best way to handle Bu Xia is with the reward system. "Help me with dishes/wait for me, and I'll bring you late night snacks."

Bu Xia is cute, but he clearly isn't ready for self reflection or owning his own responsibility. Notice how everything is all Jiang Chi's fault. Not that I don't do the exact same thing with my husband, but that's besides the point. I'm just stating the facts about Bu Xia. 😈

I honestly adore the basket ball team. Their teasing is light-hearted and meant to showcase an acceptance. Because everyone but Bu Xia can see it. He is a coconut.

This next scene is very D/s. The brat talks back to the team captain when told that he has to wash Jiang Chi's stuff. Captain immediately grabs Jiang Chi and puts him in front to handle the brat. Notice the firmness of Jiang Chi when addressing this. He isn't yelling, he isn't even being rude, but rather using a tone and logic to indicate this is a line. Bu Xia didn't even think of doing anything but accepting. And there is a that reward system again. Jiang Chi rubs Bu Xia's head, essentially saying, "Good Boy."

The hilarity of the water bottle scene after basket ball practice. Again, I love the basket ball team. The uniform washing scene that turned into let's see how wet we can get each other was impossibly cute. I don't want to hear the phrase "boys will be boys" unless we are talking about a scene like this. That's the kind of boys will be boys behavior that I can get behind.

The whole next scene is my everything. First, the explanation of the uniforms. Then the kiss. The wash clothe coming down to cover Bu Xia's eyes. The initial gentle kisses from Jiang Chi, to more once Bu Xia shows acceptance. Sighhhhh, it was so cute.

Now we are at the point where Bu Xia has got to be getting whip lash from his own brain. You can see his amusement and happiness at all the pictures "deadlock" (by the way, it took me forever to get the joke behind that. That it's their names. I'm so stupid.) Bu Xia is clearly pleased at Jiang Chi taking a secret picture of him. Then he sees the comments and it flips his switch. Now he is back to questioning himself.

And it's all downhill from there. His basket ball teammates are trying to gently push him in a direction. They push too much, though. Leading to a huge misunderstanding for Jiang Chi. Who in his feels pushed too hard. Causing us to end in angst. We have 10 episodes in total and this was only number 6!

Hope you guys enjoyed this! As always, thank you for taking the time to read. 💜💜💜

[201xs]

re: a recent post of yours about special interests not simply being something one likes a lot, I've actually sorta been researching special interests (read: asking all my friends what their special interests are, if any, also reading and rereading everything I can find on the internet about special interests and trying to make sense of all the conflicting sources of info) and I'd love to hear what you define to be a special interest! How would you differentiate a special interest from, say, an adhd hyperfixation, or an intense hobby?

thanks for reaching out!! ^^

i dont mean to seem like im downplaying other people's interests or anything but i feel like a lot of allistic people operate under the assumption that a special interest is just like... when an autistic person likes something, and therefore, consciously or unconsciously, believe that special interests can be specifically chosen or dropped whenever someone deems them "inappropriate".

i've seen it go in different directions before- i've seen autistic people grilled for having special interests like certain aspects of true crime, historical events like 9/11, world wars, religious and historical figures that are undoubtedly bad people - i've noticed that the same people who tend to judge or fling outrageous accusations at autistic people for having special interests outside of things they deem "acceptable" believe that the only reason why someone would be interested in something is for the purpose of vicarious pleasure, so when they see someone who is so consumed by these "unacceptable" interests, they assume that they derive vicarious pleasure from researching certain dark and evil parts of the world we live in which is absolutely not the case in most situations

i've also seen people throw equally horrible accusations at autistic people who have "age inappropriate" interests - tv shows for preschoolers, toy collecting, crayola products, etc... most people expect everyone to "grow out" of certain things and when they don't, there's a reflexive response of disgust that most people don't seem to feel the need to examine in any meaningful way. imo this extends to people online who think that liking the owl house means you have no critical thinking skills LOL

i've seen the same people say things like "just get a new special interest", which if you've ever had a special interest is an outlandish thing to expect from someone that you don't even know. it's extremely difficult for many autistic people (including myself) to even spend a substantial amount of time thinking about something other than their special interest(s), to the point where it can become a detriment to social interactions with other people

sorry i kinda went on a rant and didn't really answer your original question lol. but it's just something that annoys me that i've never really talked about with anyone before so i kinda exploded LOL