#and the song hurt by 1800 pain

[sorriikarii]

[odysseys-blood]

(wip) i can't sleep so new oc named Bone Dog. aka mayhem's perpetual headache and coworker. she's an albino hellhound werewolf and during work hours she keeps a binding muzzle on to keep that in check.

[bingwriterxo]

call your mom

pairing: jenna ortega x reader

summary: in which jenna gets worrying texts

warnings: HEAVY TOPICS -- depression, OD, minors DNI (18+)

word count: 1800+

author's note: based on the song 'call your mom' by noah kahan. if you guys ever need to talk, hit my inbox please.

You (1:53am): i'm sorry.

You (1:53am): i love you.

Jenna grumbled at the sound of her text-tone cutting through the silent night, but she still turned over in her bed to reach for her phone, knowing that only one person was set to interrupt her usual do-not-disturb. She cracked one eye open to read what you had sent her and then shot up, fear surging through her.

"No, no, no," she muttered as her fingers fumbled around the screen, trying to unlock her phone as quickly as possible. She's fine, she thought. She has to be fine. The tears that were already welling in her eyes told her otherwise.

When she finally managed to open her phone, she immediately called you, her breath quickening with each ring that went by in which you didn't answer.

"Come on, come on. Please."

She was already pushing the covers from her body and slipping from her bed, shuffling around the dark room to grab a pair of socks and her keys.

"Y/N, please," she pleaded to the dial tone.

Then, a click.

"Jenna," you whispered, your voice raw and hurt and everything Jenna didn't want to hear.

"Y/N?!" She slipped one sock on, fumbled with the other. "Y/N, what's going on?"

There was a sob on the other end of the line.

Where the fuck are my keys?!

"I can't..." you cried into the phone. "Jenna, I--"

Jenna clenched her jaw as she hurried toward the light switch, turning it on and spotting her keys. She grabbed them, ignoring her body's protests of everything going too fast.

"I'll be there so soon, baby," she said, trying to keep her voice calm even though all she wanted to do was sob and shake. "Just hold on, okay?"

"I can't do it anymore, Jenna." You sniffled, hiccupped, then, "I love you."

Jenna shook her head. "No, baby. Stay on the phone with me, please."

She slipped into the first pair of shoes she could find, rushed out the front door of her apartment, sprinted down the stairs so quickly that she should've fallen, and was in her car in a matter of moments.

The engine rumbled to life, and your voice erupted through the car's speakers. "I can't. I just...it's too much."

"Y/N, stay on the phone." Her foot was heavy on the gas pedal. "You have to stay on the phone."

You let out a shaky breath. "It all hurts." You coughed wetly. "Everything hurts, J."

"I know, baby. I know, but it'll be okay. It won't last forever, okay?" Hold on. Just hold on.

"I'm--I'm getting real tired," you said, voice cracking, breaths shallow.

Fuck.

"Did you take something?" She pressed harder on the gas pedal, slipped beneath a yellow light. You didn't answer, and her speedometer climbed, climbed, climbed. "Y/N, did you take something?!" she gritted out, trying to keep her own sobs at bay.

She could hear you swallow. "Yeah," you breathed out.

Her grip on the wheel tightened. She pulled her bottom lip between her teeth. "Okay, you're gonna be okay. Just stay on the phone with me. Can you do that for me? Please?"

Your sobs were echoing around the car, bouncing from one speaker to the next right into Jenna's ears, and it was painful. She wanted to shut it all out, but she knew she couldn't.

"No, I gotta go," you mumbled.

"Baby, don't hang up. Stay on the pho--"

"I love you."

"Y/N, don't--!"

The beeps that came when you hung up felt like nails being hammered into a coffin, and Jenna finally let herself cry. She was shaking; her palms were pressed so tightly against the wheel that her knuckles were turning white; her speed was far too high for the speed limit.

"Fuck!" she screamed. She was still twenty minutes away.

Call her mom. Call her mom.

"Hey, Siri." Her phone sounded to life. "Call Y/M/N."

The dial tone filled the car. One ring, two rings. Please. I need you.

"Jenna?" Your mom's voice was groggy, like the phone call had woken her from deep sleep. "Is everything okay?"

"I don't know what to do," Jenna sobbed. "Y/N took something." She was hyperventilating, and she couldn't seem to stop. "She took something, and I'm on the way to her right now, but I don't know if I'll be fast enough."

"Oh god." There was rustling on the other end of the phone. Your mom said something to your dad, something Jenna couldn't pick up on. "Okay, Jenna. Y/F/N is sending an ambulance to her apartment, okay? They'll be there in a few minutes."

"God, I don't know when she took them. I don't--I don't if that'll be soon enough." She covered her mouth with one hand, tried to stop crying while talking. "I don't know what to do. What do I do?" Tears were blurring her vision.

"You need to breathe, honey, alright?"

"I'm sorry. I--" She felt pathetic. Your parents could lose a child tonight, yet she was the one sobbing and asking for help. "I can't lose her."

"I know. Jenna, breathe. You won't be any help if you can't make it to her." Your mom was crying now, too. "We need to breathe. She'll be okay. She'll be alright." It sounded more like she was trying to reassure herself. "She's strong." There was more shuffling. "We're going to her apartment now."

"I'm almost there." She pressed harder on the gas. "I'm almost there." Please, Y/N. Hold on. Just a little longer. Just a few more minutes.

"She'll be okay, Jenna." Your mom let out a gasping sob. "She has to be."

You have to be okay. We need you.

Stay with us.

* * *

The lights were blinding; the chairs were uncomfortable; the air was sterile in a way that air shouldn't be; there was beeping echoing from every direction; nurses were walking around, this way and that.

Jenna couldn't think about anything other than the fact that you were laying in a hospital bed, just a few rooms away. A doctor had come in earlier, talked to her and your parents about what had happened, but she had tuned everything out.

Her fingers were fiddling with themselves, hands wringing together. Your mom's hand was resting on her knee, which was bouncing up and down, up and down, up and--

"Y/L/N?"

She shot out of her chair. Your parents did, too. The doctor said something, and she knew she should've been listening, but she was waiting for--

"You can go see her now," he said.

The three of you rushed to the room that you were given, and Jenna had to pause in the doorway, watching as your parents hurried to the farther side of your bed. You looked so...tiny, laying there--fragile in a way that Jenna had never seen.

Tears welled in her eyes again, and she took a step back, gasping for air. Your mom looked up at her--your father down at you--but Jenna just waved her hand. Take care of her, she thought. She needs it.

She stumbled back into the waiting room and fell into a chair, trying to erase the image of you in the bed, of you in the back of the ambulance, of you alone in your apartment, sitting in your bathroom when she had arrived. She wiped at her eyes, rubbed at them, pressed the heel of her palm into them like it would rid her mind of the memories.

Come on, Jenna. Pull yourself together.

She couldn't.

It was too much. It was all too much.

She was crying again, in the empty waiting room. Her sobs filled the air, loud and unrestrained and laced with pain, and her tears slid down her cheeks unabashedly.

Then, a hand on her shoulder. Soft, strong, careful. Jenna looked up. Your mom stood beside her, offering her the smallest of smiles.

"She wants to see you, honey," she said quietly.

Jenna sniffled, wiped at her tears. "Okay." She nodded and stood. Your mom led her back to your room, and she followed like she was on autopilot, her legs moving quicker than her mind wanted.

When she arrived, you were watching her, eyes wide and owl-ish, scared and child-like, sorry. Half of her was tempted to run back into the waiting room and hide there until this was all over, until she woke up from what she was sure was a dream. The other half knew that you needed her, and she listened to that half as she walked inside and kneeled beside your bed.

"We'll give you two some time," your father said, and Jenna didn't even look at him as she heard your parents shuffle from the room. She was staring at you, at your eyes, your lips, the slope of your nose--everything that could've been gone.

You sighed, shrank in on yourself. "I'm sorry," you whispered.

Jenna swallowed. "You're okay." Her bottom lip trembled as she spoke, relieved that she was able to say those words. "You're okay."

"I'm okay."

"I thought--" Her voice cracked, and she choked back a sob. "I thought I was going to lose you." She shook her head and blinked back tears. "I don't know what I'd do without you."

You chewed at your bottom lip and sniffled. "I'm okay."

"Okay." She was crying again, unable to stop herself. She leaned forward and pressed her lips to your forehead, closing her eyes to bask in the feeling of your warmth, of your life. "I love you," she mumbled against you.

"I love you, too."

* * *

Jenna moved into your apartment a week later.

It wasn't an idea forced on you but rather one that you suggested. I don't know if I can trust myself yet, you had told her, and she had adamantly agreed when you asked if she wanted to move in with you.

It was easy--existing with each other. It made it harder for you to slip into episodes in the coming months, and it helped Jenna sleep at night, knowing that she could reach over at any moment and feel your pulse beneath her fingertips.

You were put on medication two weeks later.

Jenna would keep your pills in the drawer of her nightstand and give one to you each night, and then, to be cautious, count them after you had gone to bed, just to make sure. When she always found the number she was supposed to, she would let herself relax and fall into bed with you.

You started weekly appointments with a therapist.

At first, you were a little nervous, if not a bit uncooperative. Then, you realized it actually did help, and you were making progress, and the world was becoming a little bit lighter.

A month passed. Then, six. Then, a full year.

You were getting better. You weren't there yet, not fully, but Jenna could see that things were brightening for you. She would see your eyes light up again, and your smile wouldn't hesitate as it broke across your face, and you would talk to her--really talk.

And, on nights when it was harder, when things would feel heavier on your shoulders and Jenna couldn't handle them alone, she would do the one thing she knew worked every time.

She'd call your mom. 

[straykidsnerd255]

I’ll be your man

Pairing: Vampire Duke!Lee Know x Female Duchesses!Reader

Genre: Fluff, Hurt/comfort, a little bit of angst

Rating: PG

Song: Pray(BTOB)

A/N: The Title and Song will be the same for 7 out of the 8 stories! Changbin’s will have a different set of songs for his

Warning: Swearing, Lee Know thinking he isn’t worthy of the reader, Pregnancy, set in the 1800’s

Word count: 2455

You sat on the window seat staring up at the bright moon shining down over you. “Y/n, my lady, what are you doing up so late? You have a….” You lifted your hand to silence the maid. You watched the maid bow and exit your room. A sigh left your lips as you turned back to look at the moon. You were to meet the Duke who lived on the furthest side of town tomorrow morning. Some say that the Duke held no emotion, and held life in little regard. You had yet to discover that yourself. You took what people said with a grain of salt. Sighing softly, you stood from the window seat and made your way to your bed. You climbed under the covers and allowed sleep to envelop you.

The gentle shaking of your shoulder is what woke you in the morning. The same maid from the night before smiled softly at you. “Good morning my lady. It's time to get ready. The wedding will take place at 7 o’clock tonight.” She said, throwing open the curtains and pulling the covers back from your body. You sat up and looked at her with a tired and slightly annoyed look. “Come on Y/n. Go get in the tub and I will dry and do your hair.” She said, moving to the bathroom to get things ready. You heaved yourself from the comfort of the bed and walked towards the bathroom while stripping out of the dark blue nightgown.

The warm water hit your skin and a pleasant shiver ran down your spine. You sighed softly as the warmth surrounded you. Quickly washing your hair and body, you grabbed the towel that the maid had out for you. The maid scurried back into the room to grab the undergarments you would be wearing under the dress. The maid placed the garments down and left the bathroom for you to change. You quickly threw the garments on and walked back into your room. The maid had your wedding dress all ready for you to put on.

After many painful hours, the dress your mother picked out for your wedding sat snuggled on your body. You placed your hands in front of you as you stood still while the maid checked over the remaining details. A small breath escaped your lips as you slowly made your way to the carriage. The clock near the front of the mansion rang out at 5 o'clock and you felt your heart thud in your chest. You were marrying a powerful man in just two hours. You sat down and clasped your heads together in your lap. Closing your eyes, you let the sound of the trotting horses and the wheels of the carriage lull you into a sense of security.

Your eyes opened as the carriage stopped. The driver jumped from the seat and opened the door. He held his hand out for you to take which you politely bowed your head before smiling softly. Your father stood waiting at the front of the massive cathedral with a warm smile on his face. “I can’t believe that my baby girl is getting married.” He muttered softly, wrapping his arms around you. You returned the hug and felt tears welling up in your eyes. You never wanted to leave your parents but with you being 24 years old, it was a matter of time before you had to leave the nest.

He led you into the cathedral and you looked around in awe. The sound of the organ playing loudly caught your attention. You looked straight ahead and saw a man standing there, waiting. You swallowed the fear that had filled your throat and you carefully moved with your father towards the priest. When you were in position, you smiled softly at your father and the wedding began. You snuck a glance at the Duke next to you and found him to be rather….handsome. He was dressed head to toe in black and red. His eyes were…hypnotizing, to say the least. You blinked a few times and turned back to the priest.

As the wedding concluded, you and the Duke turned to face each other. You could see the emotion swirling in his eyes but his face remained stone cold. You lifted your hands and pressed them to his chest and leaned forward. He followed your move but placed his hands on your waist and pulled you closer to him. His kiss was powerful. It felt like he was doing more work than you were at this point. Pulling away from the kiss, you leaned your head against his chest to catch your breath. He chuckled softly before intertwining your fingers together,

You could hear the cheers from both your family and his family and a soft smile appeared on your lips. He gently pulled you forward and you both walked out of the marriage hall and towards the carriage that waited for the both of you. He helped you into the carriage before climbing in himself. “My name is Lee Minho.” He said, startling you out of you slightly. “What a wonderful name. My name is Y/n.” You said, bowing your head towards him.

He immediately placed his pointer finger under your chin and lifted it. “You are my wife now. You do not have to bow to me. I’m not one for the “proper” ways.” He said, a hint of teasing in his voice. You giggled softly before nodding your head. Maybe he wasn’t like what other people had said he was. He held his hands out to you and leaned forward. You placed your hands in his and realized that he wasn’t warm. The look in your eyes must have alerted him as he pulled his hands back and his eyes became cold.

You opened your mouth to say something but nothing came out. So, you turned and looked out the window. The scenery outside was dark but that didn’t stop you. You had hurt your husband and now you fear he may hate you. Tears filled your eyes and you furiously wiped away at them. Curse your oversensitive heart.

That was almost two years ago. You leaned your cheek against the palm of your hand and sighed. Lee Know looked up from his book and raised an eyebrow. “Darling? What’s got you so sad?” His voice calmed you but that memory dug at your heartstrings. You stood from the chair, tucking the crocheting tools away, and walked towards your husband. The dimly lit mansion had felt like home the minute you had set foot in it. You sat next to your husband and felt tears filling your eyes once more. Alert, Lee Know sat up and wrapped his arms around your shoulders.

“Honey, what is it? Did I forget something?” He asked, his nonexistent heart pounding in his chest with fear. You shook your head and wiped at the tears that fell down your face. “It’s not that. I was just thinking about our marriage and the ride home when I touched your hands for the first time that they were cold. Ever since that, you have never held my hand, and I fear that I must have angered you.” Lee Know could only look at you with wide eyes. You were upset because you believed you had hurt him for that incident that night after the wedding.

Taking your hands in his once more, you looked up at him so fast he thought your neck would snap. “I promise that you never made me mad. Hell, I think I forgot that I was a vampire for a moment and allowed my guard to crumble down. I’m sorry if it looked like I was angry with you.” He whispered, leaning forward and pressing a soft kiss to your lips. You giggled before laying your forehead against his chest. His fingers automatically move to your hair and run through the strands.

You liked this. The domestic fall of husband and wife was finally settling on your shoulders and you were loving every minute of it. You suddenly stood from the couch, making Lee Know raise an eyebrow at you. You held your hands out to him once more and watched as he stood from the couch. He placed his hands in yours and watched as you took them and pressed them to your stomach. Lee Know was confused til he felt the tiniest of movement in your stomach. He focused his attention and honed in on his Vampiric hearing.

The sound he heard made his ‘heart’ swell. “A baby? You're pregnant?” He asked. Looking at you with such beautiful star-filled eyes. You giggled but nodded your head. You could see the tears welling up in his eyes before he suddenly backed away. You tilted your head confused but watched as he immediately darted for your shared bedroom. “My love.” You call out. You hear the rustling of the covers on the bed and your heart sinks. You walk into the room to see your vampire husband under the covers, staring at the wall.

“What’s wrong my love?” You asked. You sat down on the side of the bed near him and placed your hand on his shoulder. “I’m not good enough for you. I..I can’t even-” You placed a finger to his lips and he looked up at you. His eyes were wide but softened when he saw the look in your eyes. “You mean the world to me Lee Know. I can’t tell you how happy I was when I got married to you. Sure we were in an arranged marriage but that didn’t bother me at all. Now that the two of us have been married for two years, I can’t even explain the amount of love I hold for you.” You whispered.

Lee Know looked up at you with a soft smile on his face. He sat up from being under the covers and faced you. “I thought that when I was told I would marry a human, I believed that vampires and humans still hated each other but then I saw them out and about with humans when the sun was at the lowest point in the sky, or that people made special clothing that would protect vampires from the sun.” Lee Know looked down at his hands that were just lying on his lap above the blankets. You smiled and placed your hand over his. “Even if humans and vampires still hated each other, I would love you til my dying breath. Literally.” You giggled.

Lee Know rolled his eyes but a smile appeared on his lips as he watched you stand from the bed and walk closer so you both were mere inches from each other. His eyes drifted down to your lips before looking back up at your eyes. You knew what he wanted and smiled. You leaned forward more and closed the distance between you and your husband. You pressed your lips against his lips and held back a giggle when he jumped in surprise. Pulling away, you pressed your forehead against his and smiled softly. “I love you.” You whispered. Lee Know smiled and gently pulled you into the bed. “I love you too.” He whispered back.

{10 months later}

You smiled as you watched your husband holding the newborn baby. The gentle smile that sat on his lips as he cooed at the small life in his arms. You placed the book you were reading down and stood up. You walked over to your husband and one-month-old, a smile on your lips. The sparkle that sat in Lee Know’s eyes made your heart swell with happiness. He looked up at you with tears shining in his eyes and a small chuckle leaving his lips. He carefully placed the small baby into the crib and pulled the blankets over the baby.

During the pregnancy, Lee Know insisted that you go and see a vampire doctor. He had told you that a normal human doctor wouldn’t be able to catch if the baby was a vampire. When a human gives birth to a baby with the potential to become a vampire, it will quite literally harm the mother in the process and may even kill her. You went with him to the vampire doctor and found out that your baby would be a vampire but only half a vampire. You chuckled as you remembered the absolute craziness that surrounded you and Lee Know during your pregnancy.

You leaned towards your husband and pressed your lips to his. Your fangs shone as the light from the living room bounced off them. He hummed into your lips as his hands settled on your waist pulling you closer to his chest. He traced his fingers over the bite mark that sat on the side of your neck. A pleasant smile on your lips. “You don’t regret it.” You looked at him with a raised eyebrow before taking his hands in yours. “Regret what?” You asked. Lee Know looked away from you before turning back to face you.

“Becoming like me. Becoming a vampire.” He said. You could see the sadness that filled his eyes and the way tears began to line his eyes. You smiled and gently ran your thumb over his eye, wiping away the unshed tears as well. “I don’t regret a single thing. I get to live for eternity with the man I love and the small child that we created. What more could I want?” you whispered, your lips brushing against his before he leaned forward and pressed his lips against yours. You loved this man beyond anything in life.

He had given you a family. A small baby that looked like you and him mixed together. He treated you like a queen but teased you on different occasions. Was there when you cried and needed a shoulder to lean on. You giggled as you pulled away from the kiss. “I love you. More than words can even express. Thank you Lee Know. Thank you for giving me a family. For giving me the ability to stay with you and our baby. I could never regret having you change me to a vampire.” You whispered.

Lee Know could feel his ‘heart’ pounding in his chest as he looked into your eyes. The e/c hues that now were mixed with the dull red. The same e/c hues that made his stomach fill with butterflies. A goofy smile appeared on his lips as his arms tightened around you. “Good. Cause I don’t think I could live without you in my life.” He mumbled.

[miami-lolz]

A MORTY PRIME FAN PLAYLIST

A fan made playlist based off a mix of what I genuinely think Morty Prime would listen to & songs that relate to his character.

LINK HERE

Season 1-3

Teenage Dirtbag - Wheatus

Cooler then me - Mike Posner

Pretty Fly for a White Guy - The Offspring

American Idiot - Green Day

Buddy Holly - Wheezer

Just - RadioHead

Life Itself- Glass Animals

I’m Your Man - Mitski

Surrender- Cheap Trick

Turn the Lights Off - Tally Hall

Season 3-4

Seventeen - Ladytron

Remember My Name - Mitski

Night Shift - Lucy

Brutal - Olivia Rodrigo

No Children- The Mountain Goats

Are We Still Friends? - Tyler the Creator

Blah Blah Blah - The Oozes

Wet- Dazey and the Scouts

Season 5-7

This is Love - Air Traffic Control

Brittle Bones Nicky - Rare Americans

Puppet Boy - DEVO

See You Again - Tyler the Creator

Brutus - The Buttress

Cluster - Slipknot

Piggy Pie by ICP

Runs in the Family - Amanda Palmer

Pride - Kendrick Lamar

Skyfall- Adele

Sweatpants (Remix) by Childish Gambino

Hurt - 1800 PAIN

Choke - IDK

Me & The Devil - Soap & Skin

[thatonegaybastard]

Simon playlist!

Hello remember the Reiki playlist? This is the Simon playlist. It's not quite done but here's it so far

Warning for lik. Depressing themes and maybe suicidal themes and potentially overstimulating music also flashing lights and bright and rapidly shifting colors!!!!! And some suggestive and religious themes (more religious themes then sexual) and likem violence and blood

Also one of the dongs might have spoilers for a game called Cell of Empirio I'm not 100% sure so if you're wary of spoilers for that then beware

Songs and my silly commentary on them under the cut

White Happy by Maretu (English cover by Milkychan) - Literally the most Simon song ever also I live this song so much. Idk why I put an English cover of this song but not the other songs in other languages on this playlis. I really like this cover tho so I'll allow it

Chiri Chiro Juso (Dust Dust Curse) by Kikuo - Depressing song about death. I could see this being like from Simons point of view of himself and during his death

HURT by 1800 PAIN (I think) - They do wanna see you hurt. Idk how I feel about this song in general tbh

Montreal by Penelope Scott - Ok this song just makes me depressed about life and not even like in the good way it's a good song but like. Cries.Anyways this fots Simon a lot he won't make it to Montreal guys same

Sweet Hibiscus Tea by Penelope Scott - like most songs here it just fits him pretty well idk I might remove this so g I do t even have much to say

Angel Eyes and Basketball by Foot Ox - Good song I wish it was longer tbh it scartches my brain. We get it Simon is depressed /j

Cradles by Sub Urban - um

The Chattering Lack of Common Sense by GHOST - This song reminds meminds me of Simon and Beau specifically this is just the duo where one is probably murderous song to me. Also this omg is just so good I love it so much <3333 Simon would be the guy in the hoodie with bandages over his eyes his name is arc

IN MY MOUTH by Black Dresses - Why'd idd I add this song. I dobt know.it just fits kind of trust me (I kinda forgot I added this song to the playlist)

there I am, there I am again by RP_A (I think??????? I'm not sure) - This song isn't super specific to Simon actually it mostly just fits the Lore™ its more of a Rosa song tbh

SCAPEG∞AT by GHOST - okay one good so g obviously but also this song is mostly just on the playlist because of the chorus it fits Simon so fucking much like what the fuck- also the ending parts- also unrelated but these guys have deity oc vibes tbh

Dr Gaster by Shadrow - Teehee :) (lore)

I'm Difficult by Talkshow Boy - Making you guys listen to talkshow boy not sorry /j /nf

Abnornality Dancing Girl by Guchiry - Okay this song doesn't exactly for him because of what it's probably about but the chorus fits him alot and so does the ending part. Also I'm making some art of him base don this sign it'll probably be a while until i finish because it's not super high priority but yeah :)

Fry Me In a Pan by Talkshow Boy - You will listen to my favorite Talkshow Bky songs. Might remove this one too tbh

Orthodoxia by Gunchiry - Okay doesn't necessarily fit Simon specifically if anything he'd be one of the religious followers but like. (Then again he also lives off the misfortunes of others) The lore was literally inspired from this sign and also it fuckign slaps I can't NOT include it wtf

Kitchen Fork by Gustavuo Rubio (I think) - Also one of the most Simon songs ever. Something is very wrong with this man

Also I ahvent added this yet but I think it's be funny if I added the happy song that's like "I am really special cuz there sonly one of me look at my smile I'm so damn happy all the people are jealous of me" yknow the ond

[sams-soupy-art]

Trying to get caught up with Cringetober!!! This is like? Day 14-day 17 🤯

We gots:

Candygore with jaystraw

Song lyrics with a character I made up on the spot (song is hurt by 1800-pain 💕)

Object head is 2 characters with stuffed animals as heads they’re silly 💕

Last is anime screen shot with my character possum child 💕 in mha 🤯🤯

I’m so tired I’m gonna go to bedddd

[meilia-stims]

🎶✨when you get this, put 5 songs you actually listen to, then publish. Send this ask to 10 of your favorite followers/mutuals (negotiable, dont feel pressured or anything lol)✨🎶 (from @heartnosekid!)

Five songs I listen to!

Jenny by Studio Killers

Lesbian Vampyres from Outer Space

Skimbleshanks: the Railway Cat from Cats

Soft Fuzzy Man by Lemon Demon

Hurt by 1800 PAIN

I tried to show off the range of my tastes here, lol. I’ll send this to a few random followers of mine! This was fun, thanks @heartnosekid

[songsofprotestpeacerevolution]

NO MORE - Original by KHA

For far too long, Asian-Americans have suffered in silence and been forced to swallow our pain because our survival depended on how "well-behaved" we were.  But the tide has turned, and we have found our voices.  We are speaking up, and collectively we are saying NO MORE.  This past year we've had to watch in anguish as hundreds of our elders and women have been beaten, punched, kicked, spat on, and killed because they all have one thing in common....They're Asian.  But what they're NOT and what WE ARE NOT is a virus, nor are we responsible for COVID.  We are Americans, and we belong here.  This is our home.

And while this pandemic exponentially increased the number of hate crimes committed against us, we have unfortunately suffered with racism and discrimination throughout the past 200 years of our existence here in America.  Whether as Chinese laborers in the 1800s who were viewed as less than human, or as Americans of Japanese descent who were forced into internment camps during World War II, or as refugees and immigrants seeking a better life, all our best efforts of assimilation are for naught because no matter how hard we try to live the “American Dream” we are still viewed as perpetual foreigners.

As a Vietnamese-American who was born and raised in our nation’s capital, I wrote this song as a way to help me process through my anger, sadness, and frustration that have been festering since my first experience with anti-Asian hate at the age of 7.  Over the years, I’ve endured countless microaggressions and blatant racism, which I unfortunately chose to suffer with silently.  But the horrific Atlanta shootings were a tipping point that forced me to acknowledge my past hurt and trauma, and I felt compelled to lend my words and my voice to our movement to "Stop Asian Hate."  And while this song will mean different things to different people, I have no doubt that it will evoke many strong emotions that I hope will serve to empower ALL of us to stand TOGETHER against hate.

“No More” tells the history of the collective Asian-American experience throughout the centuries, and the various struggles we've faced with racism, othering, and the model minority myth.  It was definitely no easy task to put all of that into one short song, but I gave it my best and I hope that my words and my singing will resonate with everyone.  

Many people contributed to this song and music video, and each of them are recognized in either the video credits or the caption below.  However, I would still like to extend my sincerest thanks and appreciation to every beautiful soul who touched this project in some way.  You are all amazing and wonderful human beings, and I will forever be grateful for your contributions.  You’ve helped me bring to life my vision of representing a "montage of solidarity,” and I hope that this song will rally others in support of our cause.

Hugs & Kindness to All! XOXO, KHA

[dougielombax]

Alright.

Behold my anti-sex music playlist!

For music that just won’t work when you’re planning on doing it.

Not saying any of these songs are bad. Just that they won’t be good for sex.

In my mind…

Here they are:

1. Chumbawumba - Tubthumping.

2. Blarf - Banana

3. Eric Andre & the Last Seed - Beef Patty

4. Midge Ure - The Man Who Sold the World (OH NO. NOT ME)

5. The Serbian National Anthem! (Bože pravde) - by I Don’t Fucking Know. (Yes I’m serious)

6.Geometry Dash theme tune

7. My Country ‘Tis of Thee (Boston Pops version)

8. Peaches - Fuck the Pain Away

9. That FUCKING Pina Colada song!

10. Aerosmith - I Don’t Wanna Miss a Thing

11. Otis Redding - Shake

12. The Trashmen - Surfin’ Bird

13. Liberty Bell March - John Philip Sousa

14. That weird boingy Delaware version of the Dr Who theme what was only used once in the Australian broadcast of Carnival of Monsters.

15. Swans - She Loves Us

16. The Platters - My Prayer (for any David Lynch fans, if you know, YOU KNOW!)

17. Grieg - In the Hall of the Mountajn King (it HAS to be the Portsmouth sinfonia version)

18. Georg Friedrich Handel - Hallelujah Chorus from Messiah (also the Portsmouth Sinfonia version, ideal for maximum awkwardness)

19. 1800 Pain - Hurt

20. Weezer - Buddy Holly

21. ANYTHING by Nickelback (especially Photograph (LOOK AT THIS FUCKEN’ SHIT!) or Rockstar)

22. The Cure - Friday I’m in Love

23. Nine Inch Nails - Mr Self Destruct (only an animal could fuck to this!)

24. Hanggai - Drinking song (this is actually a fucking banger but still)

25. Jamie Christopherson - The Stains of Time (except every single lyric is AND IT WILL COME)

26. Babylon Zoo - Spaceman

27. Suede - Filmstar

28. Bonnie Tyler - Total Eclipse of the Heart (on full blast)

29. Ligeti - Lux Aeterna (may induce existential crises)

30. Korngold - Theme from King’s Row

31. AJCW - Wonderland (very loud, this is some cosmic horror shit)

32. Girl Talk - Play Your Part (Pt 1.)

33. Akira Yamaoka - Black Fairy

34. Ludvig Forssell -204863

35. Bach - Chorale BWV 645 (slow instrumental organ/trombone version)

36. Akira Yamaoka - My Heaven

37. Kikagaku Moyo - Dripping Sun (the beat drop at the end is some next level shit)

38. Carpenter Brut - Le Perv

39. Dawn of the Dead - The Gonk

40. de Wolfe music - Lubricator

41. Wizzard - I Wish it could be Christmas Every Day

42. Venetian Snares - All the Children are Dead

43. Van McCoy - Do the Hustle

44. Roy Orbison - In Dreams (look, it’s a great tune, but still).

45. Smash Mouth - Walking on the Sun

46. Mansion Basement - Resident Evil Director’s Cut Soundtrack

47. Happy Days (as in the main theme tune from Happy Days!)

48. Exhumed - As Hammer to Anvil

49. Muddy Magnolias - American Woman (David Lynch Remix) (if you fuck to this then you are legally not a human, you are a CREATURE)

50. Sonny Terry - Old Lost John

51. Hanatarash - My Dad is Car (VERY LOUD!)

52. Clubbed to Death (instrumental)

53. Jerry Manolas - Midnight Dream

54. Guided by Voices - Game of Pricks

55. Ludvig Forssell - Death Stranding theme tune

56. Glenn Miller - In the Mood

57. Venetian Snares - Winnipeg is Fucking Over

58. BJ Thomas - Raindrops Keep Falling on my Head.

59. Limp Bizkit - Break Stuff

60. Huun Huur Tu - Eerbek Aksy

61. Whitney Houston - I'm Your Baby Tonight

62. Mussorgsky - The Great Gate of Kiev

63. Low Roar - Give Up

64. Ludwig Van Beethoven - Rage Over a Lost Penny

65. Neon Indian - Slumlord’s Release

66. The Caretaker - All You are Going to want to Do is Get Back There.

67. Horace Heidt - This Time It’s Real (instrumental - slowed down)

68. BluntedBeatz - I Am

69. Eddie Vedder - Out of Sand

70. Olga Wojciechowska - Remember When the Light Came (unfortunately I can’t find it ANYWHERE!)

71. Blarf - The Me in Me

72. Chuck Person - Lightning Strikes

73. Polkas y Huapangos - Los Dos Laredos. (Pretty sure you legally CANNOT fuck to this)

74. Tom Jones - What’s New Pussycat (VERY LOUDLY)

75. Merzbow - Ultramarine Blue

76. Fool’s Garden - Lemon Tree (I NEED Wes Anderson to use this song in his next film! FIND A WAY to get him to do it!)

77. Big Brother Theme Tune

78. Fanfare Vagabontu - Batuta Din Moldova

79. Lvovsky - Now the Powers of Heaven

80. Tuvan Ensemble - Arbyn Ossun

81. Weird Al - EBay song

82. Marathon 2 main theme (I mean come ON!)

83. Electric Light Orchestra - Mr Blue Sky (SHUT UP!!!!)

84. My Chemical Romance- Famous Last Words

85. Van Halen - Panama

86. Powermad - Slaughterhouse

87. Bjork - It’s Oh so Quiet

88. Sigur Rós - Hoppípolla

89. Richard Strauss - Zueignung (specifically the version performed by Jessye Norman (RIP))

90. Apollo 100 - Joy (especially if you speed it up)

91. Carol Anne McGowan - Sycamore Trees (look it’s beautiful but you cannot fuck to it!)

92. Brian Eno - Weightless

93. Jean Sibelius - Symphony no 2.

94. Handel - Hallelujah Chorus (as performed by the Portsmouth Sinfonia)

95. The White Buffalo - I Know You (it’s a great piece of music but it’s really depressing)

96. Rednex - Cotton Eye Joe

97. Men Without Hats - The Safety Dance

98. Blink 182 - I Miss You. (WHERE ARE YEEEEEEEW)

99. Francis Stanfield - O Sacred Heart. (Yes I know it’s a Catholic hymn! That’s the point!)

100. Surasshu - The Penis (Eek!)

101. Non Phixion - The CIA is Trying to Kill Me

102. All-American Rejects - Move Along (SHUT UP! It’s a good song but come on)

103. Big Data - Bombs Over Brooklyn (their curiosity for learning has skyrocketed)

104. Adam & the Ants - Stand and Deliver

105. Animal Collective - Derek

106. Ludwig Van Beethoven. Symphony no. 5. Movement 1.

107. Hong Kong 97 Soundtrack - I Love Beijing Tiananmen.

108. Mr Bean animated series theme tune (piano, obviously).

109. John Williams - The Immolation Scene. (From the Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith soundtrack)

110. Ludwig Van Beethoven. Again. - Ode to Joy. Symphony no 9. Movement 4.

111. Vague003 - Tonight

112. Tchaikovsky - Serenade for Strings in C Major Op. 48.

113. Old Gods of Asgard - Take Control

114. Zbigniew Preisner - Lacrimosa, Day of Tears

115. AJCW - Fog Horm

[toebinkle]

Rainbow ask game!

🌈 ✨ 🌈✨ 🌈 ✨ 🌈✨

❤️ - Last song you listened to

🧡 - Ideal pizza toppings

💛 - Dream vacation

💚 - Earth, Air, Fire, or Water

💙 - Cartoon you grew up on

💜 - Favorite scent

Answer and then send the rainbow to brighten up 5 of your favorite blogs! Positivity is cool!

Hurt- 1800 pain

Cheeseeee

I don't like vacation

Fire

Adventure time

Fall shit

[cryptid-coyote]

Speedpaint Time!

enjoy...

[kunikidas-lost-glasses]

BSD college!AU headcanons pt. 3

Tws: Dazai typical mentions of sewerslide, mention of long term injuries after a car crash, mentions of religious trauma, slight mention of a breakdown

Pairings: Poly DOA + Shibusawa (Shibufyo siglai), Perfect crime trio (Mushiranpoe), Soukoku, Bram/Lovecraft (can be read as Steincraft + Bram tho), slight platonic!Fyozai?, Montcott

---------------------------------------------------

When everything gets too stressful for Mushitaro, he always listens to Elvis Presley songs over headphones to fall asleep (same)

The whole theatere course in which Nikolai is in plans to stay together even after college to perform little plays

They are really good tho so they probably could make money with thier plays

It already happened a few times that Dazai just couldn't put up with the academic stress and expectations aswell as with all his trauma and suicidal thoughts but didn't wanted to "stress Chuuya even more" so he just went to Oda and Ango to thier office and let himself breakdown there while his father figures comforted him

Oda is the very chill easy going professor of the college which nearly everyone loves

Bram is known as the campus vampire bc he's not only pale af but he also sleeps during the day and in lectures, gets productive at night, always dresses like it's the 1800s, mainly wears black and white colored clothes, and comes from a rich family.

Bram's best friend is Aya who goes to the primary school a few streets away from the campus.

They met in a café where Aya walked up to him and kept asking him if he's really a vampire.

After he found out about her abusive father he basically adopted her

He's mostly either annyoed or tired and he always listens to the radio over his tiny pocket radio

Fyodor is a psychology major who minors in something like religion or music.

Fyodor pretty much never sleeps and tends to overwork himself. Nikolai has to wrestle him to bed at like 3am. (Which isn't hard for him/considering how fragile Fyodor is and how tall and trained Nikolai is)

Fyodor admirers Sigma's personality and his innocence since it's something he lost while living on the streets as a teen.

Thanks to his family Fyodor has religious trauma and after some religion lectures his boyfriends have to beat some sense into that so smart but so stupid brain of his. Especially when he starts thinking again that him being gay will bring him to hell.

Fyodor tells everyone who dared to start small talk with him that he only listens to classical music and then proceeds to blast russian rock in his and his boyfriends' dorm.

Sometimes Fyodor has depressive days where he won't even leave the bed. Then Nikolai, Sigma and Shibusawa will stay with him all day, trying to cheer him up, comfort him and help him

On these days even Dazai comes over to thier dorm to check on his oldest friend. He obviously isn't worried or smth or feels bad for him since he knows how such days are. He is and he does

Bram dragged Lovecraft and Steinbeck with him to see the " The Dance of the Vampire"/"The Fearless Vampire Killers" musical at least 4 times already

Poe, Lucy, Louisa, Magret, Nathaniel, Lovecraft, Steinbeck and Mark are all students from america who study overseas and all went to the same high school together so they know each other pretty well

Study sessions with them are pure chaos

Louisa and Poe are some kind of friends and bond over the fact that they are both often too scared to do some normal things which require social interaction

Whenever Bram's legs start to hurt too much, Lovecraft will do anything he can to help boyfriend his dear friend to feel better (As mentioned in my previous posts, Bram can in fact get up and walk around for a bit again but he can't walk for a long time. He can obviously feel his legs and isn't paralyzed but he struggles with pain from the permanent injuries now too)

Poe despairing over Mark's grammar and pronunciations in his writing assignments for thier literature course which he had to proof read on a daily base

Mark is a good writer tho

Ranpo usually wears glasses bc he can't see shit without them

Nikolai loves to burn CDs for his boyfriends

He either burns thier favorite songs or he makes playlists for them in which he puts a lot of work and effort

For some reason, Shibusawa listens to Orchestral Manoeuvers in the dark on daily base

Ranpo often comes to lectures or goes out in general while wearing sweatshirts or vests which he stole from Poe or Mushitaro. They are very oversized but he doesn't actually mind. He likes oversized clothes.

Chuuya always sends cute videos of the animals from the animal shelter where he works and of which he takes care of to Dazai

He also does this often if he has to go to work but knows Dazai is feeling not that well to cheer him up

It nearly always works

Nikolai and Shibusawa both share a deep hate towards Ivan and Ivan hates them both too so Nikolai and Shibusawa made it thier mission to roast him whenever they can while he dramatically talks shit about them or insults them

Louisa and Lucy, the poly doa and Atsushi and Akutagawa have a bunch of fairy lights hanging around in thier dorms which they turn on every evening. Especially in the cold months

Ranpo, Mushitaro and Poe hoard candles and books

---------------------------------------------------

BSD college!AU headcanons pt. 1

BSD college!AU headcanons pt. 2

[darethshirl]

so many elf fics!

Another exchange, another fic-gathering post! I had an ENORMOUS amount of fun writing for the @arlathanxchange these last couple months, and got to read so many amazing stories. :‘) If you haven’t checked the collection yet I urge to do so!!

now on to the FICS 👀

Gifts I Received:

Healers and Dreamers by @dirthenera (Solas/Lavellan, T rated, 3600 words)

Inquisitor Lavellan insists on visiting the Frostback Basin to find the last Inquisitor after visiting Crestwood with Solas, to find a distraction from the hurt and coldness every time she tries to talk to him about what happened.

She doesn't expect to find so much of herself and Solas mirrored in Telana and Ameridan's story, and he doesn't expect the ever capable Inquisitor to be badly injured by the Hakkonites.

An absolutely lovely exploration of post-breakup solavellan, filled with yearning and bittersweet love and PAIN 😭 Solas tries to heal Lavellan after an injury and in the process breaks both their hearts all over again (OH AND MINE TOO). This was all I could have wanted from a prompt like this, and the angst is Exquisite.

.

Fill My Cup by @rosella-writes (Solas/Lavellan, Explicit, 1800 words)

Virelan wants to come. Solas wants to teach her something new.

SMOKING HOT SMUT 👀👀🥵👌👌 Solas is a bratty dom (yes they exist) and he and Virelan have a delightful dynamic in this. Solas teases her skillfully and without mercy and frankly it’s exactly what she needed 😌💯

.

Gifts I Wrote:

oh the river, it's running free (oh the joy it brings to me)  for @rosella-writes (Andraste&/Shartan, G rated, 1700 words)

I will immolate my own soul for this cause, she thinks, and it feels true.

I went full-hog with the introspection and Poetic Imagery in this one lol. Andraste’s pov, in all her strangeness and mystery. this puny little fic took me THREE GODDAMN WEEKS to write but in the end it was worth it. :’) I admit I’m pretty proud of this!

.

bright days of halcyon for @dreadfutures (Solas&Hawen with some solavellan, G rated, 2900 words)

“When did your people first choose you as their leader?” he asks politely, a guest’s good manners to his host.

Hawen smiles at him, his eyes crinkling. “It was the gods that chose me,” he says, his tone serene. “They gave me the gift of magic, and so set me on my path.”

Solas is struck speechless, the words a punch. Magic is your birthright, he wants to say, not for anyone to give or take, and Can a man be truly free if he can’t even choose his own path? and The injustice of this world is vast enough to drown in.

And then, hidden beneath it all, pulsing like a heartbeat: My fault. My fault.

right so this was basically just an excuse to cram as many of my “solas interacting with dalish clans and having it be GOOD” headcanons as I could 😂 and my god was it fun! this was the MOST enjoyable fic I’ve had the pleasure to write in a long time, and I feel so fond of it!!! :’) :’) I’m so glad I got the chance to write it :’)

.

Some Extra Stuff

okay I had absolutely nothing to do with any of these fics 😂😂 but I was very impressed by them (which is really saying something, considering how many good fics there are in the collection!!) so I wanted to give them a shoutout anyway:

Faerie-Stories Not for the Faint of Heart by @hezjena (Mythal&Flemeth, T rated, 1800 words)

Flemeth of Highever knew that she could count on no one else for her escape. The bard, Osen, long legged and sweet of tongue was many things, but she knew in her broken heart that he wasn’t coming for her. Her inheritance of their love had left her head full of the pretty faerie stories that he had spun. Beautifully crafted songs of virtuous princesses in towers, guarded by vicious dragons waiting to be rescued by shining valiant knights on pure white steeds.

She threw her head back and laughed deeply at the very thought of it all.

***

Flemeth meets Mythal, an origin story.

a fascinating and fairy-tale like depiction of Flemeth and Mythal’s very first meeting. I’m absolutely obsessed with the ideas here, and the image of them talking through a mirror lives rent free in my mind 👌

.

Homecoming by @queenaeducan (Charter&Lace Harding, T rated, 5000 words)

 Charter has never been one for parties. The air, always thick with the smell of incense and perfume, draws like a rope around her neck. Her high-collared uniform is doing her no favours, either, fabric drawing tight against her skin as she cranes her head to look around the room. Orlesians gossip from behind porcelain masks, their painted smiles jeering like actors in a play. They mingle in a crowd of Rivaini merchants with a wealth of gold rings hoarded on their fingers, and, of course, Tevinter magisters who seem indifferent, at best, to be in attendance at such an affair. Even if it was hosted by one of their own.

 She’s loath to admit that, at least in this, they are in agreement.

Charter attends a Tevinter party, hoping to deny the Dread Wolf another ancient Elvhen artefact.

okay real talk, this could have just as easily been an actually published story in Tevinter Nights and I wouldn’t have blinked an eye. VERY cleverly written, I loved all the twist and tursn of the plot and I continue to be exceedingly impressed by it 👀💯

[officialspec]

Hiii you seem like you have good music taste lol do you have any songs that are high energy and go hard?

wasnt sure what the criteria for 'high energy' was so theres like 7 dif genres here LMAO but herez some options

HURT // 1800 PAIN

a curse of cynicism // the dear hunter

giving bad people good ideas // death grips

ftm at the dmv // schmekel

face // clipping.

everything is fine // qbomb

sometimes // nick lutsko

[quietlyimplode]

@vancityfire13 requested a Clint/Nat fic based on the song “King Of My Heart” by Taylor Swift, with the scenario of Natasha being injured and pushing Clint away, and wondering why he keeps coming back. (Forgive me if I have interpreted this wrong - also I know, I know I failed at using the song so... forgive that too?) (1800 words- this is also the house I imagine Natasha to be in. Warnings for percieved punishment but nothing major I can think)

1/ My broken bones are mending

Natasha sighs, pain shooting down her shoulder, the broken collarbone and the once-dislocated-now-fixed shoulder making her dominant hand fairly useless.

She feels like she’s in house arrest, knocking the bottle against the bars of her jail cell. It’s not like that really, she can leave, but she is being watched and there are certain expectations for her recovery.

It’s been four days.

She has two weeks of this forced convalescence.

It’s not a feeling she likes.

Not being able to do what she wants, when she wants.

It makes her feel tumultuous, and she has no one to take it out on. The growing feeling of awaiting punishment hits her randomly, and whilst she knows it’s coming, it’s like they’ve put her in time out to build the suspense.

She huffs a sigh, as she adjusts the sling, holding her arm on an angle, hating the feel of it rubbing on her neck. She’s only just put it back on, even though she’s been told to wear it every waking hour.

They don’t seem to understand the whole pain only makes your stronger mentality she has; and she wonders if all Americans are as soft.

.

2/ With all these nights we’re spending

Clint visits daily.

He doesn’t time his visits at regular times and sometimes it’s twice a day. She can never pick when he’s coming.

She hates it.

He’s caught her once without the sling on and he’d threatened to move in. She’d grumbled something and agreed to wear it more and he’d reluctantly agreed to keep his distance. Natasha knows she couldn’t bear his disapproving looks.

She doesn’t want to think about why that is. It’s like he has an expectation for her to be kind to herself, but that’s never something she’s had the luxury for; or an experience of.

It’s better that he’s not with her.

She deserves this.

She knows.

This anticipation.

The waiting.

Punishment will come, it’s just a matter of when.

She just hopes they don’t make Clint do it.

He’s too… kind.

He brings her ready made meals that she picks at, candy bars that she’s never tasted before and dvds of the shows he likes.

She knows she can’t repay the kindness but she could probably save him from having to hurt her.

Request that someone else do it.. Even if it means taking extra.

She just wishes they would tell her already so she could prepare for it.

Whatever it is she can take it.

.

3/ I’ve been waiting

It’s been nine days. She has five to go before she suspects they’ll tell her. Fourteen days was the agreement.

Clint arrives one morning and she can’t keep her dark at bay. She doesn’t open the door for him. Doesn’t acknowledge him when he walks through the lock picked door and ignores him when he asks where the sling is.

He calls her name as she slams the door to the bedroom, sinking down on the other side of it, anger pulsing through her, a growl breaking through her lips.

It’s cruel, she thinks, this anticipation. They should have just done whatever they needed to and let her get on with her job. Even the red room didn’t make them wait for punishment. If they don’t know by now, that she’s loyal, maybe freelance would have been the better option.

It rubs salt in the wound for him to be able leave and come back when she’s just… stuck.

He must go at some point because when she leaves the room to go to the toilet, he’s gone.

There’s emotions stirring in her body that she doesn’t know what to do with.

He’s left a note, “hope you’re feeling better now. Message me when you go to bed, otherwise I’m coming back.”

Guilt stirs.

It’s not his fault.

He’s been nothing but kind. She doesn’t understand his kindness but he’s been a grounding force through all this, even if he doesn’t know it.

.

4/ I’m perfectly fine.

She messages him. It’s just past 8pm, and just says, ‘goodnight’.

He messages back almost straight away.

‘Hope tomorrow is better. I’ll be over in the morning.’

It’s only then she realises that he hasn’t been sent out on a mission either.

She stays awake all night, guilt gnawing at her.

They’re going to punish him too.

It’s one thing for her to fuck up; she knows she can take it.

She knows his kind heart can’t.

.

Clint is true to his word.

He’s over at 8am and she greets him at the door, wanting to send him away, call him out, advocate for himself that he shouldn’t be punished alongside her.

He looks at her disapprovingly as she realizes she’s not wearing the sling.

“It doesn’t matter.” She cuts him off, holding one arm with the other.

“Of course it matters,” he says scandalously.

This is not how she wanted to start the conversation.

“Why are you being nice?” Why don’t you leave me? I got you in trouble too; are the words she wants to say.

He smiles easily. “You’re my friend,” he says pushing past her, letting himself in.

“I don’t have friends,” the words spill out.

The backward glance still holds a smile but it’s the hurt behind it that makes her purse her lips.

“Well. You have me.” He tells her. And she doesn’t know what to do with that.

He dumps two coffee cups on the table and 3 bananas which she can’t help but stare at.

“You’re just here because they made you check on me. Make sure that I didn’t run away before they..” she leaves the thought hanging, begrudgingly picking up the stupid sling and wrapping it around her neck, nesting her arm in it.

“I’m not.”

“You are.” She rebutts. He rolls his eyes. She’s not finished.

“They made you responsible for me.” He stops still and stares at her again. It’s uncomfortable and she backs up two steps just in case she’s read this situation wrong.

“Natasha.. Is that what you think?” She doesn’t really know what else she should think. Of course he’s only here because he’s been made too.. Why else?

His kindness and support couldn’t possibly extend to caretaking, if it is, she’ll need to repay it, and he’s already said no to .. that. It’s uncomfortable the thought of owing someone that much.

“Why else would you be here?” He opens his mouth but she’s not finished. “It was my fault, I lost; I am the one who needs to be punished, not you. Why haven’t you told them? Stood up for yourself? You shouldn’t have to be punished for my mistakes.” She takes a breath unable to look at him.

“What?” It’s loud and incredulous. “What?” He repeats.

“The punishment I’m waiting for, the one they’ll tell me what it is in four days after this…” she gestures around her isolation.

“For failing, Clint. Punishment. Isn’t that.. It’s how you..” Natasha grows quiet. “..Learn.” She finishes.

5/ Is this the end of all the endings?

Clint stands, holding his breath, looking down at her with a look of pain on his face.

“No.” He slams his hand on the table and the noise shocks her into looking up.

“You can’t think that,” he says, almost a plea. “You can’t think that this is what this is.”

He sinks into the kitchen chair.

“Natasha. This is not punishment. Or even, awaiting punishment. God is that what you.. You can’t think that?” He takes a breath and rubs his hand over his face and then bites on his lip.

“Natasha. This was supposed to be time off. You got hurt. This was Shield giving you time off, to help.”

He takes a breath through his nose, that he blows out gently. “They’re not going to punish you. They might make you check in at medical and go for some xrays, but there’s no punishment. Okay? Do you understand?”

She frowns at him.

She doesn’t.

If that what this is, then why is he visiting her? How does she repay that kindness that he’s shown. She bites the inside of her mouth, looking at him suspiciously. She doesn’t think it’s a trap. He’s not lied to her, yet. She trusts him but his words, they just don’t make sense.

“Come. Sit.” He makes his way to the couch, grabbing the two coffees and offering one to her when he sits.

She takes a minute and then sits next to him, taking it off him and having a sip.

It’s heavenly. Especially after the sleepless night she’s had.

“You won’t get punished?” She clarifies quietly, holding the coffee in two hands.

“I know you don’t believe in it, but I swear on our friendship, that neither of us are going to get in trouble or punished for you getting hurt when we go back to shield next week.”

Natasha is at odds.

She almost feels like she needs to do something in repent for her failure, but his confidence in her, his kindness to her, she feels like she would be failing him somehow if she did that.

He inches closer to her.

“Natasha. I swear to you. No one is going to hurt you. You didn’t fail by getting hurt. Shield is not..” he starts again. “Shield will never punish you with pain for the purpose of teaching you a lesson.”

She can feel an emotion stirring in her chest, she’s not sure what it is.

He’s close enough that she can smell him, he smells like clean clothes and sweat, the combination so quintessentially Clint.

She leans her head on his shoulder.

“You’re sure?” She dares, wondering if he’s lying and just trying to placate her for the next four days.

“I’m sure.” His voice low, as quiet as hers.

.

6 / Change my priorities.

His words are true.

She returns to shield with apprehension and fear in her veins.

Nothing happens.

They make her go to medical, and she shuts up and goes.

They test her range of motion and they give her a prescription for pain that she won’t use and exercises that she’ll add to her current regime.

Clint walks alongside her the whole way, reassurances on his lips at every transition.

She appreciates it, even if it is over done.

They meet with Maria instead of Fury, and she gives them a low ball mission in London of recon and taking photos.

The end of the day comes and it’s like the anticipation of the last two weeks hasn’t happened.

As they drive away from Shield, Natasha lets out a breath that she didn’t even know she was holding.

Clint must hear it, because he looks over to her.

“You good?” He asks.

“I’m good.” She responds.

.

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