#and then I saw a playlist that said ‘trip’ and I’m like OH FUCK YEAH I went on a road trip to see galantis

[rosicheeks]

What was your favourite band or album through high school and do you still listen to/like it now? 🤔

✨ Galantis ✨

(In XOXO and let me tell you this part always makes me cry)

[doctorbitchcrxft]

The Kids Are All Right | Supernatural Series Rewrite | Dean Winchester x Fem!Reader

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Fem!Reader

Warnings: recovering from an assault (heed this warning pls my loves), canon gore, canon violence, angst

Word Count: 4773

A/N: Heyyyy.... accidentally posted two at the same time haha. No episode this Saturday as a result; I'm sorry, y'all!! But a little extra treat today!!

Mobile Supernatural Series Rewrite Masterlist

Supernatural Series Rewrite Masterlist

Supernatural Series Rewrite Playlist

You and Sam spoke almost twice daily after your heart-to-heart leaving Lincoln. You were incredibly grateful to still have his friendship; even if your phone calls had to be carefully maneuvered around times when Dean was in the room. 

You were unsure how to feel about the fact that Sam was still trying to find ways to break Dean’s deal knowing he’d die if that happened but would also support your friend in whatever his decision was. You refused to have any involvement in picking between the lives of the two brothers, though, even if you were falling deeper and deeper in love with him with each passing day. 

Just the thought of seeing him again was enough to have butterflies swirling in your stomach. You were terrified of what he’d say to you, yes, but you missed him so dearly. As chaotic as he could be at times, he truly was your rock. And with each day that passed, the sore pang in your heart at the thought of him seemed to intensify.

Not to mention, your struggle with your assault was draining you. Your heart hurt every time you walked past a mirror, and every once in a while, you’d see yourself in that guard uniform.

“Where are you guys?” you asked Sam through the phone as you walked around your motel room pulling clothes on.

“Cicero, Indiana,” Sam replied.

Your heart and stomach dropped. “What?”

“No way you’re here, too,” Sam began to laugh.

“This isn’t fucking funny, Sam! I purposefully picked a case that seemed like it wouldn’t pan out to stay away from him!” you replied frantically. “I mean, ‘guy falls on his own power saw’ doesn’t exactly scream unsolved mysteries!”

Sam was still laughing, but cleared his throat before talking again. “Yeah, but Dean’s cruisin’ for a hookup, too. That’s his main motivation, I think.”

You scoffed and ignored the burning feeling in your chest. “Of course, he is. Who is it this time?”

“Lisa Braeden. His… five day road trip from about eight years ago,” Sam explained. 

“Oh,” you breathed out. “Gumby girl.”

“So you know of her,” Sam said.

“Oh, yeah! After one of the first times we had sex, he told me I gave Gumby Girl a run for her money. ‘Best sex of my life before you’ is a direct quote,” you told him.

“Okay, ew,” Sam grimaced. “I don’t need to hear about your sex life—”

“It was topically relevant, Sam!”

“—and this is apparently one of his ‘dying wishes’.” 

“Way to let me down easy, jackass,” you sassed at the brunet’s clear inability to read the room in this situation. 

“Sorry,” he said sheepishly.

“It’s fine. I’ll leave. Let Dean have his fun,” you continued.

“No, don’t!” Sam begged. “At least stay till tomorrow so we can meet for coffee. I’m sure Dean ‘ll still be out with Gumby.”

“We should probably call that poor woman by her actual name,” you giggled. “But sure. I’ll stay till then.”

“Great!” You could practically hear Sam grinning on the other end of the phone. “I’ll call you when I get up tomorrow.”

“Okay,” you smiled. “Bye, Sammy.”

***

Someone pounding on your door at around one in the morning woke you up with a start. Swiftly, you put the barrel of your gun to the door and listened because there was no peephole for you to look through. You opened the door a crack when you heard nothing for a moment to reveal Dean staring at the ground before looking up at you.

Shocked, you slammed the door in his face and threw your gun at your bed. Unfortunately, you’d forgotten to lock the door behind you, and Dean waltzed into your bedroom.

“(Y/N), you can’t leave,” the man told you.

“What the fuck are you doing here, Dean? How did you even find me?!” you cried. “What, you think after three weeks of not talking I’m just gonna let you— Especially after you just fucked Gumby Girl—!” You began pacing around the room.

“I didn’t fuck Gumby Girl, (Y/N),” he said softly, still standing close to the door.

You scoffed and crossed your arms, suddenly very aware of the underwear and oversized band t-shirt you wore to bed that night. “Yeah, right.”

“I’m serious,” he replied, still staring at the ground. His hands stayed in his leather jacket pockets. “Couldn’t bring myself to even try.”

You threw your arms out in frustration. “What, am I supposed to forgive you for not fucking one out of the many Sam’s been telling me about you being with since I left?!”

Dean seemed stunned.

“Yeah! So, I’m sorry, but you’re not just gonna waltz in here and act like everything’s fine and dandy,” you chortled coldly.

“Are you gonna give me a chance to explain myself?” he questioned angrily.

“Why should I?” you scoffed.

“Because you love me! I thought that was the whole point!” he argued.

You stared him down, eyebrows drawn together. “Well, you obviously don’t love or respect me enough not to go fuck random girls literal days after I leave.”

“I do!” he shot back. “Would you just fucking listen? I was drinking alone when Sam thought I was with those other chicks.”

You said nothing, still glaring at him.

“I didn’t fuck any of them, (Y/N), ‘cause I couldn’t stop thinking about you!”

Tension hung thick in the air between the two of you, and you looked up at him with dewey eyes. When you couldn’t stand to hold his gaze anymore, you turned away. “Why didn’t you call? Why didn’t you… say it back? Say anything back?” Your voice broke while you talked. 

“I should’ve,” Dean replied quietly. “I- I’m sorry I didn’t.”

A tear slipped down your cheek. “I’m sorry, too. I shouldn’t have left you guys with those demons.”

You felt Dean’s fingers gently graze your arm, and he waited for you to flinch away for a moment. When you didn’t, he reached out and gingerly turned you to face him and held you to his chest. 

You melted into him almost immediately and let all of the emotion you’d been holding back for the past three weeks out. He rested his head on top of yours and just held you there for a minute. 

“I can’t watch you die, Dean,” you told him, still hugging him tightly. “I can’t do it.”

“I’m not asking you to,” he said. “Can you just… stick around till my time is up?” He gently pushed you away from him slightly to turn your eyes up to meet his gaze. “Please? It’s my dying wish.”

You giggled through your tears but nodded. You immediately dove back into his chest. “I don’t want you to leave,” you whispered. 

“I don’t wanna leave you,” he said, voice beginning to shake. “But I couldn’t let ‘im die, (Y/N). I couldn’t do it.” “I know,” you nodded. 

The two of you stood there holding each other once more until Dean spoke up again. “And, uh… ditto, by the way.”

“What?” you snorted, pulling away from him. 

“What you said… at Bobby’s,” he explained, avoiding your eyes.

“You love me?” you asked, smiling lopsidedly.

Dean just nodded. 

“And you told me just by saying ‘ditto’?” You burst out into laughter at Dean’s attempt at vulnerability. 

Dean went red in the face and turned away. 

“No, no!” you said, immediately quieting down. “It’s just— that was so cute. You’re adorable when you can’t emote properly.”

“Shut up,” he grumbled, tilting your chin up to kiss you passionately and effectively silence your laughter. You closed your eyes and wrapped your arms around his neck immediately; almost like a reflex. 

When you pulled away, you leaned your forehead against Dean’s. 

“You know I’m not letting you leave again,” he said.

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” you smiled. 

***

You sat on the bed facing a shirtless Dean who was reclining against the headboard on a pillow while he told you his story from yesterday. He lazily drew circles on your outermost hip with his thumb as he talked. 

“So, I went to her house, right? ‘Cause… y’know. Gumby Girl,” he began sheepishly. “And, uh, turns out, she’s got a son.”

“Jesus, really?” you replied. “I forget most people have kids at our age.”

“See, this is where it gets interesting,” Dean continued. “So I go out to the backyard, and I see this kid, and (Y/N), I’m telling you, he looked just like me. Acted just like me, too. It felt like fuckin’ Freaky Friday.”

“Dean, don’t tell me—”

“Yeah, that’s what I thought, too,” he cut you off. “But no. Lisa said he’s not mine.”

“How do you know she’s not lying?” you asked. You finally processed the story Dean was telling you, and realization washed over you in tidal waves. “You could have a child. You might be his father. What the fuck.”

“Yeah, I know, I know,” he said. “It’s freakin’ me out, man. But that’s not all.”

“Dean, if this involves a paternity test that names you as a match, I’m gonna start freakin’ out,” you said.

“No, no, it doesn’t. At least, not yet,” he chuckled. 

You glared at him.

He laughed. “Anyway, I think there really is a case here. One of those kids at the party was weird.”

“Yeah, Dean, kids are weird. Any other earth-shattering news I should be aware of?” you snorted.

Dean deadpanned at you. “You know what I mean. She wasn’t standin’ all the way upright—”

“Maybe she just has scoliosis—” you cut in.

Dean kept talking over you. “—And she kept glaring at everybody—”

“—I glare at everybody—” you continued.

“—And it’s the kid whose dad fell on the power saw.”

You considered for a moment. “Okay, maybe there is something happening. But it could also just be how her grief is manifesting.”

“Yeah, but (Y/N), all kinds of freaky accidents have been happening all over the neighborhood,” Dean explained further. “People fallin’ off ladders, drowning in hot tubs—”

“Okay, maybe you’re right,” you sighed.

“What’s your hold-up with all this?” he asked.

“Whaddya think, Dean,” you deadpanned.

“What, Lisa?” He seemed genuinely shocked. 

“I just think we should leave this town in our rearview mirror. Y’know, between Gumby Girl and her kid that’s potentially yours— oh, god,” you muttered when you fully realized Dean might have a son.

“(Y/N), he’s probably not mine. I mean, she said he wasn’t,” Dean reminded you.

“Somehow, that’s not making me feel better,” you grumbled. 

Dean pulled you down toward him and gently kissed your lips.

“Dean—” you tried, but he cut you off with another kiss. “Dean—” and he kissed you again, “—you can’t just—” another kiss, “distract me with this stuff—” another kiss, “—when we’re in the middle of a serious discussion.”

Dean kissed you once more and pulled you to straddle his hips. “It’s working, isn’t it?”

“Unfortunately,” you smiled against his lips.

When Dean tried to grind up into you, though, you suddenly jerked back from him. 

He looked up at you in concern. “Are you okay?”

You shook your head, tears swimming in your eyes. “I— I’m sorry, I don’t know what’s—”

“It’s okay,” Dean assured you. “We don’t have to do anything. It’s alright.”

You laid down on Dean’s chest, closing your eyes and trying to steady your breathing. Dean kissed the top of your head and wrapped his arms around you to comfort you. Oh, how grateful you were to know him.

***

Later that day, you and Dean walked back to the Impala after investigating a few of the houses where accidents had happened recently. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary; no cold spots, no EMF, nothing resembling a creature’s lair. It was all very “Stepford” in Dean’s opinion.

When you’d almost reached the car, Dean abruptly grabbed your arm. You gasped slightly and turned to face the direction he was. 

“That’s him,” Dean whispered. “That’s the kid.”

You looked ahead at a little boy with spiky brown hair wearing a canvas jacket sitting sadly on a park bench. 

Dean slid his hand down your arm to your hand and pulled you along with him. “Hey, Ben,” he told the kid.

The boy looked up at Dean. “Hey. You were at my party.” Ben seemed to notice you for the first time. “ ‘Sup?” the little guy nodded at you, attempting to smirk through his apparent sadness. 

‘Jesus, this really might be Dean’s kid,’ you thought. 

“I'm Dean, this is (Y/N),” he said, sitting down next to Ben on the bench. You stood next to Dean cautiously. “Everything okay? Something wrong?” Dean asked Ben, who didn’t respond. 

You noticed the empty gaming console case Ben was holding and looked out to the field to see a group of four boys playing with something that looked just about the size to fit the case.

“Is that your game they're playing with?” the older Winchester asked Ben.

The little boy  wouldn’t look at you or Dean. “Ryan Humphrey borrowed it, and now, he won't give it back.”

Dean was immediately ready to beat up eight-year-olds. “Well, you want me to go—”

“No!” Ben exclaimed, grabbing Dean’s arm. “Don't go over there! Only bitches send a grown-up.”

Dean grinned. “You’re not wrong.”

This whole interaction was completely flooring you; rendering you unable to add anything to the conversation.

“And I am not a bitch,” Ben finished.

Dean pointed to a boy wearing long cargo shorts holding the gaming console. “Is that Humphrey? The one that needs to lay off the burgers?”

The little boy smiled and nodded.

Dean hummed. 

“Dean, what are you—”

He ignored you and turned to Ben to talk to him in a hushed voice. You couldn’t quite hear what Dean was telling him to do, and you were puzzled when Ben got up from the bench and started walking over to the group of boys.

“They’re gonna eat that poor kid alive, dude, what were you thinking?” you chastised him, shoving his shoulder lightly. 

“Just watch,” Dean urged.

Ben turned back around to the two of you, and Dean offered him a thumbs-up and a grin. 

A moment later, Ben turned away from the bullies before whipping back around and kicking the boy holding his game straight between his legs twice.

“Dean, what the fuck,” you sighed, pinching the bridge of your nose. 

Ben walked back to you and Dean, triumphantly smiling and holding his game. “Thanks! Dude, that was awesome!”

Suddenly, a gorgeous woman stormed up to you, Dean, and Ben. “Benjamin Isaac Braeden! What has gotten into you?!”

“Gumby Girl,” you realized. 

Dean smacked your thigh lightly to get you to be quiet.

“He stole my game!” Ben tried to explain.

“So you kick him? Since when is—” she looked down at Dean and scoffed. “Did you tell my son to beat up that kid?”

“What?” Dean was still smiling. “Somebody had to teach him how to kick the bully in the nads.”

“Who asked you to teach him anything?” Lisa argued.

“You’re right, he’s sorry,” you said, trying to pull Dean away.

“What are you even still doing here? We had one weekend together a million years ago. You don't know me. And you have no business with my son,” Lisa raged, grabbing Ben’s hand to walk off with him. “Just leave us alone.”

“He will!” you asserted, to both Lisa and Dean. 

Ben broke out of his mother’s grip and ran back to Dean, wrapping his arms around his legs in a tight hug. 

“Thanks,” Ben smiled up at Dean.

Your heart melted and broke at the sight. 

As Ben returned to his mother, you saw three children a few yards beyond them standing in a straight line and turning their heads in tandem. Dean seemed to have noticed, too, and the two of you decided to get out of there as quickly as possible.

When you got into the Impala, you couldn’t say a word. 

Dean looked over at you. “What?”

“What do you mean, ‘what’?” you replied.

“You look like you’re suckin’ on a lemon. C’mon, talk to me,” he urged.

“He really does seem like your kid,” was all you could manage to say.

Dean sighed. “Yeah, I know.”

“And, uh, if that does end up being the case—”

“Whoa, what?” Dean cut you off. “Since when am I following up with that?”

You sighed. “I don’t know, Dean, if you are his father, the kid deserves to have you in his life.”

“Sweetheart, the best thing I can do for that kid is get the hell away from him,” Dean replied. “He doesn’t need to be anywhere near me or this life.”

“Why?” you said. “ ‘Cause you think you’d be bad at it? You were great with him today.— y'know, aside from encouraging assault.”

“Yeah, (Y/N), for two seconds,” he said. “Why are you pushing this anyway?”

You paused. “I don’t know, I thought it might just be good for you. Give you an opportunity to live out your last year in peace. Happy.”

Dean’s posture softened, and he said nothing for a moment. “Thanks, but no. I’d take you and huntin’ evil sons of bitches over Middle America any day.” He reached out to you and pulled you to him, placing a kiss to the side of your head. 

***

When you arrived at the boys’ motel room, Sam was at his laptop researching. 

“Somethin’s wrong with the kids in this town,” you told him as you took your jacket off.

Sam replied without looking away from his computer, “Yeah. Tell me about it. So, what do you know about changelings?”

“Evil monster babies?” Dean questioned.

“No, not babies,” you chimed in.

“They're kids,” Dean realized. “Creepy, ‘stare at you like you're lunch’ kids?”

Sam nodded. “There's one at every victim's house.”

“Oh, that’s just perfect,” you mumbled.

“What?” Sam questioned. 

“We got a pile of missing kids being kept in a hole somewhere and a fuckton of changelings we gotta torch. Dean, where’s your kerosene?”

“Already on it,” he said, leaving the room.

“So, I’m guessing you talked things out,” Sam said once the door closed behind Dean.

“Oh, shut up,” you grumbled playfully. 

“So… you’re not leaving?” Sam questioned.

“No. Not yet, anyway,” you said, tone becoming more serious. “I’ll be there to tell him ‘bye,’ but I won’t watch him get dragged to hell. I can’t do that, Sam.”

The younger Winchester paused. “I get it. Hopefully, we won’t have to.”

Dean came back into the room not a moment later holding his torch and grinning.

“You and your gadgets,” you laughed warmly. 

“So, changelings can perfectly mimic children,” Sam began. “According to lore, they climb in the window, snatch the kid. Y'know, there were marks on the windowsill at one of the kid's houses. Looked to me like blood.”

“The changeling grabs a kid, assumes its form, joins the happy fam just for kicks?” Dean questioned.

“I wish that were the case,” you said. “Changelings feed on the mom’s synovial fluid. Sam, did you notice any strange bruising on their backs? It’d be just below the base of their neck?”

“Yeah, how’d you know that?” Sam asked you. 

“It’s the typical spot they feed from,” you replied. “On the end of their creepy, face-hugger-from-Alien tongues, they have these little spines that extend through the body to reach all those spaces between the joints. Pretty gnarly injuries.”

“Right,” Sam nodded. “Changelings can drain them for a few weeks before mom finally croaks.”

“And then, there's dad and the babysitter,” Dean added, referencing two of the victims.

“Yeah. Seems like anyone who gets between the changeling and its food source ends up dead,” Sam finished.

“And fire’s the only way to kill ‘em,” you said, nodding at Dean’s torch. “See why I was worried about all this?”

“Yeah,” Dean huffed. “Great.”

“According to lore, they stash the kids underground somewhere,” Sam continued, “I don't know why, but if it's true, the real kids might be out there.”

“We better start looking,” Dean asserted, seeming to have something on his mind.

“What?” you asked.

He hesitated before answering you with a question. “Any kid in the neighborhood is vulnerable?”

You nodded.

“We gotta make a stop. I wanna check on someone,” Dean told you, and you knew he meant Ben.

Dean held your gaze as Sam began to protest. “Well Dean, if the real kids are still alive, we don't have time. We—”

“We have to,” Dean stated firmly. 

***

Throughout the drive to Lisa’s house, you tried your best to remain calm. You weren’t truly worried about the potential that Ben could’ve been kidnapped or by the fact that Dean was upset, it was the thought of Lisa and Ben potentially taking Dean away from you. You knew your fear was irrational and maybe even a bit toxic, but you still worried that maybe Dean was still attracted to Lisa. Or maybe Dean was Ben’s dad and would be obligated to see and spend time around the two of them. The thought nearly made you throw up while you watched Dean knock on Lisa’s door. 

You saw Lisa yelling at him, and Dean ran back over to the Impala seeming incredibly worried. “They took Ben. He's changed,” Dean explained, hurriedly getting into the car.

“What?! Are you sure?” Sam questioned.

“Yeah, I'm sure. I checked his windowsill,” the older brother nodded.

“Blood?” 

“I don't think it is blood, and I think I know where the kids are.”

***

Dean drove quickly toward a house under construction with a large mound of red dirt sitting on the lawn outside of it. The exterior of the home was almost finished, and the “For Sale” sign on the lawn was stained partially by the dirt.

“Red dirt,” Sam noted, bending down to inspect the sign. “That's what was on the window.”

“Ah, you take the front,” Dean told Sam. “(Y/N), take the left side; I got the other.”

You nodded and set off, gun and flashlight drawn. You crept around the corners of the house until you came to a set of doors angled down to a cellar. You jumped down into it and found small, empty cages lining the walls.

“What do you think you're doing?” a voice suddenly asked from behind you. 

You looked up at the entrance of the cellar to see a redheaded woman glaring at you. 

“You’re staying here until I can get the police here,” the woman said, pulling out her phone.

“Wait, wait,” you tried. “I’m sorry, I was just looking for a place to stay for the night.”

“Then why do you have a gun?” she hissed.

“Self-defense,” you replied coolly. “Please, I’m sorry, I’ll go.”

The redhead tsked and shook her head. “I don’t think you will.” She stood from the entrance to the cellar and closed both doors on you.

“Wait, no!” You rushed toward the doors, but it was too late. She had latched them shut by the time you got to them. Immediately, you started banging on the doors and trying to get them open. You turned around to one of the cages and picked it up, hurling it at the closed doors. You tried again and again, using the cage to hit the door, your shoulder to slam into it, and even tried using a piece of wire from the cage to take off the hinges, but nothing worked. Helplessly, you banged on the door and screamed for Sam and Dean.

Suddenly, you began to smell smoke.

‘Oh, fuck,’ you thought, breath quickening with urgency. You slammed your body into the doors as hard as you could manage. 

Across the cellar from you, the flames began to catch the ceiling, creating a gaping hole in the floor for debris and fiery planks of wood to fall through. You slammed into the doors once more, screaming for Dean. 

The smoke in the room began to fill your lungs and forced a cough out of you. You screamed Dean’s name again hoarsely, turning around briefly to see the fire had spread incredibly close to you. If you didn’t get out soon, the whole building would collapse on your head.

“Dean, please!” you screamed. 

Suddenly, you heard the door to the cellar unlatching.

“(Y/N)?!”

“Dean!” you cried.

He threw the doors open and pulled you out of the smoldering building. He quickly checked you over for injuries, cupping the sides of your face. “You okay?”

“I’m fine. Let’s go!” You grabbed Dean’s hand and pulled him around to the front of the house, running as fast as your legs would carry you as flames taunted you dangerously close to your face. You ran across the street to where Sam was standing with a crowd of terrified children and Ben. 

“Sam!” you exclaimed. “Everybody okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, I think so,” Sam replied. 

Ben seemed shaken up, but he was trying to comfort the other kids around him. You smiled down at him. Dean was exactly the same way. No matter what was going on in his own head, he always checked on the needs of others first. It was one of the things you loved most about him; he was always showing you what compassion truly looked like. 

***

When the fire department had come and the children— all except for one— had been returned home, you and the boys drove Ben back to Lisa’s house. 

“Ben?!” the woman called, running out of the house. “Baby, are you okay?”

Ben ran to his mom and hugged her. “I'm okay, Mom.”

“Oh, my god,” Lisa sobbed. “What the hell just happened?”

“I'll explain everything if you want me to,” Dean started, “but, trust me, you probably don't. The important thing is that Ben's safe.”

“Thank you,” Lisa surged forward and hugged Dean. “Thank you.”

Dean seemed hesitant for which you were thankful, but still returned her hug.

Ben turned to head into his house, and Lisa moved to follow. She turned back to Dean apprehensively. “Do you— wanna come inside?” she asked. 

“Uh, no thanks,” Dean replied. “We, uh, gotta hit the road.”

Lisa nodded, deflating slightly. 

“But… you’re a hundred-percent sure Ben’s not mine, right?” Dean asked. 

She nodded and smiled. “You're off the hook. I did a blood test when he was a baby.”

“Oh,” Dean replied. “Good.”

“I... I swear you look disappointed,” Lisa noted.

“Yeah, I don't know. It's weird, you know your life... I mean, this house and a kid…” he trailed off. “It's not my life. Never will be. Some stuff happened to me recently, and, uh... Anyway, a guy in my situation— you start to think, y’know. I'm gonna be gone one day, and what am I leaving behind besides a car?”

“I don't know. Ben may not be your kid, but,” Lisa began, “he wouldn't be alive if it wasn't for you. That's a lot if you ask me.”

Dean nodded and turned back to you and his brother who stood by the car watching silently. “You know, just for the record…” He turned back to Lisa.  “You got a great kid. I would've been proud to be his dad.”

Lisa smiled at him, as did you, before Dean headed back to the driver’s seat. For once, Sam let you sit in the passenger’s seat, and you popped a Faith No More cassette into the Impala’s built-in player. 

***

A few hours into the drive, Sam had fallen asleep. You and Dean were left holding each other’s hand in silent support; a reassurance the other was there and okay. 

“Did you mean what you said earlier? To Lisa?” you murmured.

“About what?”

“Leaving nothing behind except a car?” you continued.

“Aw, c’mon—” Dean sighed. 

“No, Dean. That’s crap,” you quietly said. “You have a legacy. Everything you’ve ever done has been out of love and compassion. That is who you are. That’s what you’re leaving behind.”

Dean’s eyes flicked toward you, his expression unreadable. He was quite literally the only person to ever confuse your intuitive, watchful eye with his thoughtful, complicated expressions. 

The older Winchester turned his eyes back to the road and brought your entwined hands to his lips, kissing the backs of your knuckles. 

You reveled in the feeling, knowing the feeling of his lips on your skin in this moment, the pattern of Sam’s breathing steadily in the backseat, and the way his hand felt in yours would be a memory you’d need to hold onto when he was gone. Maybe that way, you’d be able to find peace; knowing that not even death could completely tear Dean away from you. 

Series Rewrite Taglist: @polireader @brightlilith @atcamillanorrman @jrizzelle @insomnia-bookworm @procrastination20 @mrs-liebgott @djs8891 @tiggytaylor @staple-your-mouth @jesstherebel @rach5ive @strawberrykiwisdogog @bruhidkjustwannaread @mxltifxnd0m @sunshine-on-marz @big-ol-boat @mgchaser @capncrankle @chervbs @simpingdeadcharacters @nesnejwritings @stillhere197 @tearsforhan @take-it-on-the-run @iloveyou2mia @maxinehufflepuffprincess @ohgeehowdigethere @seninjakitey @berarenado @s0urw00lf @princessleahorgana @quarterhorse19 @isla-finke-blog @silverdoragon @karacaroldanvers @gayandfairycore @examishbookwyrm @star-yawnznn @real-sharena-h @fandomloverrr @metalmonki @onlyangel-444 @yu-winchester @benniwiththefanni @daisychaingirl @immagods @missmieux @yoongi-holland @littledebbieinabigworld

[romanarose]

For the Longest Time: Chapter 7

William Miller x Fem!OC (Lorelei Giang)

Masterlist : Triple Frontier Masterlist :Playlist

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Summary: Lorelei and runs into someone from Will's past. Later, Ben is in trouble.

Warnings: (This is a heavy one.) Bulimia, homophobia, self conscious thoughts, talk of euro-centric beauty standards, dinge drinking, puke and vomit (from the drinking, not bulimia endued), potential suicide attempt (it wasn't they just worry), mentions of "taking pills", stomach needing pumped, ER visit, risk of asphyxiation, Benny's alcoholism, Lorelei's worry of Will leaving her like her dad did.

Special thank you to @mrs-lockley for talking to me about Lorelei's character and correcting me to make sure things are more comfortable for everyone. As always, I am a white person who is trying to branch out ad not only write white characters. I want to be accurate and inoffensive, but I don't want to be colorblind. If I *ever* say something about a character that is offensive or inaccurate, please do not hesitate to reach out and correct me. I want to make sure I have a safe space for all my readers.

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Lorelei was going to kill Jana.

Not actually, her intention was nice. But did she have to suggest getting a massage when their fairly small town only had so many massage therapists, and one of which was Will’s ex-fiance.

She hadn’t purposely tried to get her; Lorelei didn’t even know her last name, just her first. Emily, and then a very polish last name she hadn’t been able to memorize in the brief sight she had. Lorelei didn’t think twice booking the appointment, not even knowing what Emily did. Hell, did she know if Emily still lived in town? When Lorelei saw her face, she recognized her. On their shopping trip, Lorelei had gotten just a bit messy and asked Laci if she had a picture of Emily. Laci, in fact, had Emily on facebook. When questioned if Will did, Laci said Will didn’t have a facebook. Smart man. 

“Why do you have his ex? Did you used to see her a lot with the guys?”

“No, they broke up year before I met Santi, but I’ve met her couple times. She came to a christmas party last year.

Lorelei’s ear’s perked up at that. “Oh. Do her and Will still talk?”

Laci smiled a cheeky smile. “Are you jealous?”

“No! I’m just curious who's going to be around my baby and if she’s gonna have a step mom.”

Shaking her head and still smiling, Laci showed Lorelei the facebook profile. Fuck, she was pretty. Really pretty. Stunning, actually. Lorelei knew she was pretty enough. She had full lips, a slim face, and up until the pregnancy had a body she was proud of. Still, she found herself constantly comparing herself to european beauty standards. Lorelei couldn’t understand it. She was proud of how she looked; brown skin, thick, dark hair, brown eyes, but sometimes she still found herself comparing her features to other women, and often the ones who fit a euro-centric mold. She didn’t want to pass these feelings onto her daughter.

Since finding out they were having a girl, Will and Lorelei talked a little bit about Lorelei’s eating after she rested.

“Listen, you can’t tell him I said this, but Benny was bulimic in high school.” Will shifted uncomfortably. “Freshman year, he hadn’t really hit puberty yet. He was short, small, was getting bullied although I didn’t really know how bad it was for a while. I thought it was just like… y’know. Teenager stuff.” It was clear he felt guilty for letting any of it happen, but Lorelei sat quietly and let him talk. “I told him he needed to get out more, that moping in his room wouldn’t do anything, join a sport. He choose wrestling, and I don’t know if you know the connection with wrestling and eating disorders, but I sure do now.”

Lorelei nodded. “Yeah, I took a course on eating disorders in undergrad. I guess I was trying to figure myself out to. We learned wrestling triggers eating disorders in men quiet often.”

“Yeah, it got pretty bad pretty fast…”

“Is he still bulimic?”

Will shook his head. “Not that I know of anyway. Far as I know, he stopped sophomore year. I made him quit wrestling and he met a… well a friend, I guess. Yeah. His friend Cam helped him a lot. They were inseparable for two years until he left. Then Ben got depressed again and started on drugs. I left that year for the army and he just. Spiraled.” Will was fidgeting, constantly fixing up items on the coffee table to align in different ways.

She couldn’t very well tell him she stalked Benny and Will through Tyler’s yearbook pictures and she knew who Cameron was. “You needed to get out, I get it. I did the same thing when I turned 18.”

“17, actually.” Will chuckled, still not looking at her. “I graduated at 17 and got my dad to sign off on it. Started basic a few weeks after graduation.”

His dad would. Through more talking, Will expressed he wanted to learn how to be of better support, to help Lorelei in a way that he felt he failed with Ben.

“We’re having a daughter, I don’t want to pass the things my mom ingrained into me into Chloe”

“I don’t either, Lore. I don’t wanna make her feel the way your dads made you feel...”

Lorelei didn’t think that was possible. He could never be cruel. Hot headed, yeah, and he’d told her how he’s acted towards Laci in the beginning, but Will was the first of them to seak therapy, and had come a long way. He would never take his pain out on a child, especially his child. Their daughter. Her bio dad… she wasn’t sure. 

It wasn’t that Lorelei though he’d leave, but she remembers her mom saying she never saw her dad leaving coming either. Being nice was easier than staying around. She was comforted by the fact Will’s whole life was her. His brother, mom, grandpa, his found family… but still, she couldn’t be sure.

Seeing Emily up close was even worse. She was in casual clothes and still looked beautiful as she greeted her cheerfully. No wonder Will loved her. She was happy, graceful, and welcoming. She bet Will called her princess.

Lorelei recognized her and realized the mistake immediately. God dammit Jana, you couldn’t let me know Will’s ex-fiance worked here? She would just have to get through this, act like she doesn’t know, pretend everything is fi-

“So what do you wanna know?” Emily said as she began on Lorelei’s neck.

“HM!?” She squeeked out, trying to sound casual. It was not working.

Emily gestured at pregnancy belly. “You’re having a baby with Will. I assume you’re here to find out about me since we were engaged. We haven't been romantically involved in almost a decade, and haven't been sexually involved for 5 years, which I’m sure he told you if you asked. I don’t want your man anymore, trust me.”

Clutching the cloth to her, Lorelei sat up, turning to the blonde. “Okay I know what it looks like!” She waited for Emily to start arguing or maybe get into a fight, but she just started back at her, curious but letting her talk. Emily seemed open to listening. “I just wanted a massage and it wasn’t even my idea it was Jana’s and you came up with good reviews so I went here and then I saw you and yes I recognized you because I found pictures of you because of course I did but I’m not here to stalk you, I’m not even dating Will!”

Emily visibly relaxed, even laughing a little bit. Her smile was warm. “It’s okay I found pictures of you too.”

Lorelei tried to calm down a bit. She was always hot tempered, but this was a different feeling. She wasn’t mad at Emily, but… anxious? Pregnancy emotions. “You… you did?”

She shrugged. “Of course. Will called me to share the news-”

“He called you?”

“Yeah, he was really excited, but really nervous. Wanted to talk to me about it. We were together for like, a decade. Sometimes he just needs someone to calm his spirals.”

Will did spiral a lot. “Have you… been talking to him recently?”

“Not much. He used to call when he was over thinking but he hasn’t done that recently. Said you calm him.”

She calmed him? Lorelei has never calmed a man in her life, outside of work. She is no man’s peace… William thought she was calming? Lorelei felt a sense of pride… she thought Will was calming too. “I don’t… I don’t think I do anything.”

“C’mon, lay down. You paid for an hour.” Gently, Emily coaxed Lorelei to lay down again and began massaging. “Sometimes he just needs someone there. Frankie is good at that too. Those two will sit in silence for 4 hours watching a game. First time they did that I walked over and asked if they were in a fight or something, they both looked really so confused.” Emily said with a laugh, and Lorelei couldn’t help but smile.

“Yeah, they uh… they are interesting.”

“I guess my point is, sometimes he just likes that. God know’s Benny isn’t going to calm anyone, and Santi is 5 feet of anger issues and attitude. He probably thinks of sitting with you as a love language.”

“Oh- we’re not-” Lorelei was quick to protest. “We’re not in love.”

“Sure you’re not.”

“We’re not!”

Emily laughed as she replied. “Okay, whatever you say. You’re just living with him, having his baby, spending time with his friends and family, putting up with Santi.”

Lorelei laid there for a while enjoying the pre-natal massage… she was good at what she did. No wonder Will proposed to her. Pretty, personable, and those hands… “How did you find pictures of me?”

“The same way I assume you found pictures of me. Through Laci. She posted a picture of you guys at the beach and I connected the dots. Can I ask why you are so insisted you don’t want to be with him? He’s clearly nuts about you.”

That made Lorelei’s ears perk up. Will? Nuts about her? “Huh? What’d he say?”

“Not explicit but, you know a man or as long as I’ve known Will-” Lorelei wished Emily would stop mentioning how long she’s known Will. “You can pick up on it. He was saying how much he admired you.”

He… admired her? Lorelei had never been admired before… “Huh?”

“He told me how you first met, how you weren’t afraid to put him in his place and controlled the room, how you took care of Benny, your concern for Laci… said he thinks you’ll make a beautiful mother.”

That first meeting… It's been over a year now since that day he and Laci took Benny to the ER… She recalls not liking him, thinking he was controlling, being suspicious he had hurt Laci… now she know’s he’d rather die than harm her, that he cared about Laci and Benny more than anything, that Laci’s inability to speak and her unwillingness to leave him side was not fear of him but fear of the world. Will would do anything for those two, Will would do anything for Santiago, and Frankie, for Jana and Rosie. For her.

Lorelei couldn’t stop thinking about the interaction for 2 days. She told Will she ran into Emily of course; it’d look bad if he found out from Emily. The words Emily had told her wouldn’t leave her head… there was so many ways Lorelei would describe herself, many positive, many not… but the way Will saw her, he had taken that interaction that Lorelei thought any man would find abrasive and annoying, he’d seen something beautiful in it… he thought she’d been a good mother…

It was a few days later when Lorelei got home at 3:29 AM from her night shift. She’d been taken off overnights due to the pregnancy, but tonight there was a car crash on the interstate so she stayed late to help until everyone was stabilized. It had been a hard day; she watched an 80 year old die from internal bleeding, but she spotted the signs of going into shock on preteen when the idiot Dr. Jones insisted she was perfectly fine. She could at least rest knowing she’d saved the young boy's life. 

She told Will not to wait up, but she knew he would. He always did. Lorelei texted him updates occasionally, just to ease him mind because she knew he worried, and when her last text ‘Leaving rn. Best be asleep when I get home (this is a threat)’ was read at 3:12 am, she knew she was right. Never in her entire life did she think she’d be texting a man updates on where she was, but it was different with Will. Tyler always accused her of cheating. Her parents always accused her of sleeping around. Will just wanted to know she was okay. It was nice, honestly, knowing someone was waiting for her, but also knowing that person wasn’t going to tell her she had to come home. She just came home for him. 

Home… Yeah, they had a home. She had to admit it now, she wanted him, she wanted a life with him… And goddamn did she want to fuck him again. Her vibrator had been getting the job done, but as her stomach grew, that became harder. She wanted his broad, warm body all over her, the way his mouth devoured between her legs, his hands so ready to please… he was a giver, and boy did he GIVE. God, she needed him. She’d give him the best blowjob of his life if he could just make her cum on his mouth like she did when Chloe was conceived.

Despite knowing he was up, Lorelei was surprised to see the lights on as she approached the front door. Will never left all the lights on. He left on the front porch light, then the oven light so she didn’t walk into darkness. And no, Will would not forget. He checked the lights and that any fire hazard was unplugged every night were unplugged. Multiple times… he really should get checked for OCD… 

When she walked in, she was greeted with a nice sight of Will in boxers and a white tank top, showing off his arms and a small assortment of tattoos… and also looking very, very worried as he paced the floor and looked at his phone. Lorelei thought back to the day of his dads funeral, when he opened up to her about the child abuse and how she wanted to bad to protect baby Will. She couldn’t go back in time, and maybe Lorelei wasn’t the best at comfort… It was easier in the ER, people she didn’t have to be vulnerable with… but she needed to be emotionally open if she was going to raise this little girl. Lorelei couldn’t protect Will as a child, but she can be there for him now.

“William? What’s wrong?”

Will only briefly glanced at her. “Oh, hi, sorry um… somethings up with Ben…” 

Of course it was Ben that had him up this late. “What’s going on?” She asked as she set her purse down. That was step one. Step 2 was taking off her bra, and she reached behind her back to unclasp it. Will wasn't phased, she’d been doing this for months.

“He sent me a bunch of drunk texts, they got more and more incomprehensible… I tried to call him after a while but he won’t answer.” Normally, Will would have Ben’s location just as Santi had Frankie’s before he got sober, but Alice made him stop sharing his location. In her defense, he didn’t go black out in bars anymore.

Lorelei slid off her bra straps and pulled the bra out through her shirt before tossing it into her room. “Have you called Alice?” 

“Yeah, she sends me straight to voicemail, won’t answer my texts either.” 

What’s her fucking deal? Santi had talked to Will about the fact Alice had forced Benny to cut most of his contact with Laci, who Benny had previously proudly called his best friend. Santi had hoped Will would say something to Ben, but Will took the stance that they were not Benny and Laci’s parent’s, and didn’t need to set up playdates. Lorelei had been very proud of him for setting a boundary. She liked, sometimes even loved his friends, but they all could use a few boundaries.

Will was pacing, clearly in distress and an obvious mental loop that was going to keep Will up all night. She wasn’t the best at comfort, but she could be practica. “Well, let’s go to his house.”

He stopped his pacing to look at her, and even in the shitty fluorescence his eyes were striking. She vividly remembers then staring up at her with nothing but wonder as she rode him- fuck, consentrait.

“Really? I know you’re tired-”

She waved him off. “It was a busy day, I’m pretty wired. It’ll take a few hours for me to fall asleep anyway.” She said, swollen feet throbbing in pain, feeling like she could lay down and be asleep before her head hit the pillow.

“I mean… I can do it myself. You should go rest, you need-”

Lorelei grabbed his keys. “Are you coming?”

*

“BEN!” Will shouted, banging on his door. Benny’s light was on and had car in the drive way, but no answer. “Fuck, something’s wrong, I can feel it…” He typed in Ben’s house code and entered the house. “Ben? You alright man?”

He wasn’t in the entry room or living area, but when Will rounded the corner and the kitchen came into view, the pair of legs with jeans bunched at the ankles caused his panic to spike “BEN!” Will ran to him, finding a passed out Ben in a state of undress, white underwear covering his butt, jeans at his ankles and a black shirt tangled up in his arms and face and the smell of puke permeating the air.

Will and Lorelei’s medical kicked in. Lorelei went for his shirt, knowing the puke wouldn’t help Will with his germophobia and Will set Ben into recovery position as more puke spilled out of his mouth. Not a good sign. “Ben! Ben, you need to wake up, man!” His voice croaked with emotion as he tried to wake the unconscious man.

 Lorelei dialed 911. “Is he breathing?”

He wasn’t listening. “Ben! Come on!” He pulled his brother into his arms.

“WILL!” Lorelei shouted at him as she tried to speak to the 911 operator. “If he’s not breathing, you need to do CPR!” She told the operator the emergency and the address. She declined needing CPR instruction but set the phone down still on the line in case she needed to update. “Will, he needs-”

Ben began coughing and sputtering when Will slapped his back, hard.

“Ow.” A drunk Ben mumbles, but is breathing.

“Oh thank god” Breathing a sigh of relief, Will pulls Ben in closer, burying his face in Benny’s neck. He was okay.  “Jesus, Ben! What the hell!”

Benny was still barely conscious, so they wanted to take him to the hospital anyway in case he had alcohol poisoning… Look at him better, Will could see he had a busted lips.

“Alice…” He murmurs. “She broke up with me… she…”

“We can talk later Ben, right now I need you to tell me if you’ve taken anything.”

“Mmmhphhmph” In comprehensible murmurs.

Will lightly tapped his face to get his attention, but the gesture made Benny gasp, attempting to scramble away from Will. “Hey! Hey, Ben, it’s me, it’s okay! I just need you to talk to me!”

For a moment, Benny’s eyes were wide and alert. He looked scared, and it took a lot of scare Ben… but when he saw it was Will, he relaxed. Will would take care of everything. Will would keep him safe. He always did. Ben’s eyes unfixed again.

“Pills…” then he was unconscious again, head flopping back in Will’s grasp.

That was bad. Lorelei watched as Will shouted, trying to get his attention, trying ask what fucking pills, why did he take them and so on.

“Will…” She tried to say. If he took pills, especially if he was going through a break up… knowing Benny’s past history with poor mental health, this might have been a suicide attempt. 

“Ben, please… c’mon Benny talk to me…” Will’s eyes were tearing up, and Lorelei thought she was about to watch Ben die right there. Will’s love for his brother and panic he was feeling was clouding his ability to act, and Lorelei knew she had to take action to save Ben.

“Will!” She snapped, bending over and starting to adjust Ben in Will’s grip. Ben was 6’3 and heavy with his muscle, so it was hard but Will got the message. They needed Ben to throw up the pills he took.

They get him into position, bending him over and Will puts his hand to Ben’s mouth that already has vomit… then pulls it away to wipe his hands.

“Will, you need to act now.”

“I know! I know just…” He goes to try again, getting his fingers in there but retracting and wiping his hand again. “He already threw up didn’t he?” It was not enough vomit to extract what he potentially took.

After this, they were going to have a serious talk about Will’s germophobia. She wasn’t judging him; she knew he could do it if she wasn’t there and as someone who struggled with a severe eating disorder most of her youth, Lorelei knew how painful obsessions and compulsions could be. Eating disorders and OCD are often comorbid. Anything that was strong enough to make him hesitate on life-saving treatment for his precious baby brother must be so painful… but right now, there wasn’t time for empathy. Benny could be dying.

“Move.” Lorelei knelt by Ben, her pregnant belly making it difficult but not stopping her. “You hold him, bend him over, yeah like that.”

“Lore-”

She wasn’t listening. Lorelei jammed two fingers down Benny’s throat, only briefly moving her hand to the side to allow the vomit to escape, then going back in. Her arms were covered in the disgusting solution, the extraction splattering on her legs. Lorelei saw no pills, but that didn’t necessarily mean much. When there was nothing left to throw up, the red and blue lights were at his doorstep. 

Lorelei took her light jacket and gave Ben’s bare chest a wipe down once over. “Take him to the ambulance, go with him, I’ll meet you there.”

Will scooped his baby brother up, all 6 feet of him. He turned to say something to Lorelei but she told him to go. They’d talk later. He looked guilt stricken, clearly hurt and feeling like a failure for not doing what he could. Lorelei smile softly at him and he headed out the door.

Lorelei took care of things here. 

She wasn’t really religious. Vietnam itself practiced largely folk religions, and both her parents didn’t have anything to do with the religions of their parents… she knew now this was quiet common with the second generation in immigration. Her step dad’s family was buddhist, but it was more nominally than anything, but she did enjoy the philosophy. In short, she wasn’t sure what she believed, if anything… but she hoped whatever was out there took care of Ben.

Never in her life did she imagine she’d be taking care of men like this, cleaning up a kitchen full of vomit and gross clothing, packing up a bag of essentials for both Benny and Will… if this was an attempt, Ben would be getting put on a 72 hour hold. He’d want a few books. She never thought she’d take a little time to do Ben’s dishes so that they didn’t rot while he was gone. 

But lately… it didn’t feel like she was a woman doing submissive things for a man because she was a woman and they were men. She did it because she cared about Will, and she cared about Benny. Seeing Benny like that made her sad… When she first started hanging around their group, Lorelei wouldn’t understand Laci and Santi at all. She didn’t understand how Laci could be happy in her position, so dependant on Santiago for money, cooking for him, cleaning, it all seemed so… motherly.

But as time went on, she started to see it different. Laci was largely dependant on Santi for money, yes, but Santi never held it over her. She didn’t have to ask permission for normal purchases, and bigger purchases were decided on together. She did a lot of the housework, yes, probably a majority of it, but Santi was building a whole ass addition to their house, took care of their car, mowed the lawn… And the cooking? Well, Laci loved to cook, and it wasn’t like Santi was afraid to put something together or do dishes… She understood now that the things Laci did for Santiago were not because they were expected of her as a woman, they were because she loved him, she wanted to care for him. She wanted to see Santi happy and healthy and Santi wanted the same for her.

Lorelei had never had someone outside her brother and sister she cared enough about to want to take care of them… but in this moment she realized that was Will to her, that was Ben, that was Laci and Jana and Frankie and yes, even Santi. Santi had been ready to throw hands for her at Mr. Miller’s funeral, and Lorelei would throw them right back for him.

They were a family she never thought she’d have.

Her phone chimed.

William Miller: They pumped his stomach. Benny was conscious for a while, said he hit his lip on the counter when he fell trying to undress. Says all he took was melatonin to go to sleep, I’m not sure I believe him. I hope you’re at home and asleep. Thank you for everything tonight. 

He thought she just… went home?

*Calling William Miller*

“Hello?”

“Hey, William, I didn’t go home.”

“Oh. Where are you?”

“At Ben’s? I was cleaning up and going to head over. I wouldn’t leave you both like that.”

“No, Lore it’s okay, I want you to rest-”

“I can rest later. I’m on my way now with some things for both of you. Is he awake?”

Will signed over the phone. “No, he’s out again like a light. I’m gonna stay the night here. In the morning I’m gonna try and commit him. I don’t know if he’s lying about trying to kill himself or not but I can’t risk it.”

“Okay, text me where you are and I’ll come find you. Need anything from walmart or something?”

“Clean clothes.”

“Already packed some of Ben’s for you.”

“You get me.”

*

When she arrived, Will was awake and sitting slumped on a chair, watching Ben and listening to the melodic beep of his monitors. She pulled up a chair, Will didn’t have the energy to stand and greet her, but he welcomed the warm body that slide right next to him.

“He stable?” She asked. 

“Yeah, doctors said it didn’t look like he took anything other than melatonin, but they want to monitor him over night. They said if he’s not willing to commit himself, they can’t make him.” 

Will was not happy with that. How was he supposed to sleep at all knowing Ben was like this? Even if he didn’t try to kill himself, he was clearly as a low point to be drinking so much. Fucking Alice. He knew she was a bad idea.

“He say why they broke up?”

“No, but my guess is that she’s a fucking cunt.”

Oh. “You wanna tell me why you hate her?” Lorelei coaxed his head to lay on her shoulder and he was too tired to fight it. 5 months pregnant, she was not comfortable in the shitty hospital chair, but Will needed her right now.

“She was awful to him in high school. She fucking lead the crusade on bullying him for being gay. He wasn’t even out yet but… bullies always seem to know. Knew before I did, anyway. I thought they were just being shitty.” He paused to yawn. “He had this friend, Cameron… more than a friend. It was… complicated. In 2003, everything like that was complicated. I don’t know if you remember Matthew Shepperd’s death…”

“I do. Awful.”

She felt Will nod. “Yeah, that was in 98’ and… I don’t know if Ben knew what he was back then, but I remember it having an effect on him. Our dad had some… words to say about it. Ben and him broke out into a fight over it. I wasn’t there but I came home to Ben with a split lip, just like today. He iced it with a beer can. I remember thinking I was going to spend the rest of my life trying to keep him alive… Anyway, I think the Matthew Shepperd case scared Ben real bad, so when him and Cameron started, I dunno, seeing each other, he got real secretive about it. Didn’t even tell me, and he told me everything, I thought.”

“What happened to Cameron?”

“He turned 18. He was working on the farm nearly full time. Was good at what he did, too. My dad liked him more than me and Ben” He chuckled slightly. “He wouldn’t if he knew what they were doing on the barn roof, but that’s neither here nor there. Cameron had a pretty shitty home life so when he graduated he was supposed to move into the barnhouse and work for my dad, then when Ben graduated they were going to announce they were together and leave. I didn’t know that last part for years. All I knew was the day Cameron was supposed to come, he never showed. The next day Ben went to his grandparents- who he was living with- and checked on him, they said he left home. Just up and left. It was the first time since middle school I’d seen Ben cry. Was up half the night tryna make sure he didn’t do anything to himself.” Will sighed. “He didn’t have another long term partner until Alice.”

“Why would Ben be with her if she bullied him?”

Will shrugged. He never understood Ben. Never pretended too. “Ben see’s the best in people. Our leader on Delta, Tom, he was an asshole… Ben loved him though, thought of him like a dad. And Santi… before Laci, Santi wasn’t always the nicest. Ben had a crush on Santi too.”

He could feel her laugh. “What is it about Santi that’s got everyone wrapped around their finger.”

He laughed back. “I dunno, he’s certainly not my type.” Will could feel himself drifting to sleep. He tried to stay awake. Ben needed him… but Lorelei’s touch was soothing.

“And just what is your type, William?”

He couldn’t help it. He was so fucking tired, so exhausted, he couldn’t think straight. He wished he could tell her, make her know how much he loved her, how badly he wanted to be with her… his hand reached to caress her stomach with the back of his hand, feeling where his daughter, his Chloe, was growing in the safety of the woman he loved. “Pretty, short, hot tempered brunettes, apparently.”

He couldn’t see her facial expression, or feel her body language, but he could hear her soft voice as she wrapped an arm around him, rubbing his shoulder. “Sleep, handsome. Get some rest.”

“But Ben-”

“I’ll watch Ben. You just get some sleep.”

And sleep he did.

*******************************

I'm well aware Im writing this for like. 4 people only but I DONT CARE. Lorelei is so precious to me and I will see her through! She deserves a happy life with Will and her baby

A lil bit of a confession?!?!?! either way, Lorelei is able to show up for will and her new family <3

she loves them <3 and poor benny boo...

@pimosworld @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @whatthefishh @missdictatorme @milkymoon2483 @poeedameronn@itspdameronthings @miraclesabound @babymills16 @rayslittlekitten

[idkthisisjustforfanfic]

not a (family) date

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PART 9

You looked around the bar briefly, saw him in the corner when he offered a quick wave. Twelve steps over, a smile on his face when you shrugged out of your jacket.

“Can’t believe I’m saying this, but I wish we were in London.”

“Why?” you settled on the stool across from him, took the cocktail menu that he slid across the table.

“Because then I’d at least get to greet you a little, y’know, with the cheek kiss thing,” he shrugged, biting back a laugh. “Here I can’t even kiss my girlfriend or else it’ll be all over the newsstands by morning.”

You made a face at him and smirked, “well it’s not the 1950s, so…it’d be on DeuxMoi and it would be instantaneous.”

“They don’t have printing presses anymore?” He played dumb.

“No, grandpa,” you rolled your eyes. “They don’t.”

“Wow,” he pulled his head back at your words and smiled. “You’re feisty tonight.”

“I’m not feisty,” you laughed, amping up the theatrics, “I’m just glad that I survived SNL.”

“You had the easiest job of the night,” he reminded, “just sit there and look good.”

“Right,” you agreed coyly, “but Kailyn also told me today that despite you making age jokes, there hasn’t been a huge surge of negative stuff.”

“Negative stuff?”

“Headlines, stories, anything that’s basically shitting on us.”

“Right,” he nodded. “The stuff we don’t want.”

So far it hadn’t been anything out of the norm:

Y/N L/N supports Jason Sudeikis for SNL host gig!

Jason jokes about Y/N L/N age gap in SNL monologue

Y/N L/N seen in Jason Sudeikis’ Brooklyn neighborhood!

Getting serious? Y/N L/N at SNL after party after Jason Sudeikis hosts

“This place is quiet though,” you looked around the room, a hidden pub on the lower east side, Maddy came for a date and said it’d definitely be a pap-free spot. “Low-key.”

“It is,” he looked over the menu.

“Let’s keep it that way…”

He looked up at you, narrowed his eyes when he realized you were still watching him. “Are you implying that I’m not low-key?”

“You get a little loud sometimes,” a smile. “Which is fun, almost always--except when we’re in public and trying to keep a low-profile.”

“A low-profile?” he said, his voice getting louder when you let out a laugh. “You? A famous songwriter and a beautiful woman who’s--”

You reached across the table and pushed your hand against his mouth. “Shut up,” you laughed.

“I can’t--” he said with a shrug of his shoulders, holding your hand to his mouth when he kissed your palm. “I just like you so much I want everyone to know it.”

“Isn’t that supposed to be romantic?”

“It is romantic,” he made a face, offended that you didn’t see it that way.

You fought the smile that crept onto your cheeks. “Not when you’re being annoying about it.”

“Well…I mean it,” he said with a solemn nod, a shift in demeanor when he smiled a little.

You smiled, tugged your eyes down to the menu, mostly avoiding the rush of adrenaline that was sure to come. A few seconds of silence when you scanned the options, moscow mule, pomegranate martini, red sangria, gin and tonic.

“Can’t believe it’s late October.”

“I know,” you looked up at him. “The years start coming and they don’t stop coming,” you quoted Smash Mouth with a smirk.

“You’re old enough to know that song?” he teased.

“Yeah I was, like, six or seven when it came out.”

“In 1999? Jesus fucking Christ.”

“Yeah,” you spun it into another joke. “Oh my god--wait, did I not tell you…that you’re old?”

“Very funny,” he rolled his eyes, another laugh when he shifted back to his original point. “But--regarding the time of year.”

“Yeah?”

“I was just, uh, wondering…what are your Thanksgiving plans?”

“Oh,” you blinked a few times. “I don’t know--I hadn’t really thought that far ahead, truthfully. I have a writing trip the week after, I think to Nashville.”

He nodded.

“Why?”

“I just didn’t know if you were around. I talked to Liv the other day about it briefly, trying to figure out what to do.”

Now you nodded, unsure which words to piece together to make you present as casually curious. “Right, yeah. Do you--are you gonna spend it with her?”

He smiled a little. “I don’t know, I mean, my sister typically hosts. Might just go there, see if the kids want to come.”

Without you. Got it.

“That sounds fun,” you smiled.

“Yeah, I mean--I could talk to Liv and see if she wants to do something else with them, if you wanted to do something together.”

A ball of nerves in your gut, “us?”

“Yeah,” he smiled. “Us. Unless, you know--I’m too old for you.”

You smirked, offering a challenging glare across the table. “You are.”

“I am?”

A shrug, pulling back a bit when you realized how much you were starting to risk. “I typically do something with my parents, my brothers.”

“Oh,” he nodded. “So you’re booked?”

“Spend it with your kids,” you leveled. “It’s fine, you should see them.”

You swore you saw the relief wash over him.

“Are you sure?”

“Positive,” you nodded.

He left it there, sipped a cocktail across from you and stole a few bites from your plate. He offered to come home with you, I have nowhere to be tomorrow. You stepped out from the restaurant and onto the sidewalk, his eyebrows furrowed when he took your hand in his.

“Hey, by the way, what’s DeuxMoi?”

“Oh god,” you laughed. “You don’t want to know.”

**

Okay…so bringing him to a funeral wasn’t on your list of romantic things to do. But it wasn’t your fault your grandfather died.

You got the call on a Tuesday morning, early November, the ringing of your phone woke you up and it only took a few words for Jason to peel his eyes open, concern on his face. Okay, yeah, thanks for letting me know.

You didn’t need him to come, in most ways it felt too serious or too dramatic. After all, your grandfather wasn’t always the nicest of guys and thanks to Natalie and Janelle flaunting their status as celebrity cousins, the news broke quickly that the services were set for Saturday at 2pm. Kailyn had already warned you: paparazzi will probably be there, but we’ll get a security detail and make sure you all have your privacy.

For a day or two you were convinced you shouldn’t even go: it would cause too much of a scene, create too much talk in your family about how Y/N can’t come anywhere without bodyguards.

Your brothers rolled your eyes when you told them. Fuck them, they’re stupid, you’re coming.

Nolan and Andrew were already at your parents house when you sat in the passenger seat of Jason’s car and crossed the GW bridge.

Nolan (8:02am): I’m taking a shot if Natalie brings a date.

Andrew (8:04am): We’re all taking two shots if Natalie brings a date.

Y/N (8:05am): shit…is this not a plus one type event?

Nolan (8:06am): Is he coming with you????

Andrew (8:06am): No fucking way

Nolan (8:07am): If you’re bringing Jason to grandpa’s funeral we’re all taking five shots

Y/N (8:07am): No one is doing shots

Y/N (8:07am): At least not until the luncheon thing

You laughed at the playful exchange, Jason peered at you out of the corner of his eye.

“Sorry,” you said, clicking your phone shut. “My brothers are being dumb.”

“No need to apologize,” he smiled. “Grief does weird shit to people.”

“Yeah, well--they’re already planning how to get drunk, so.”

He nodded, an impressed look on his face when he let out a laugh. “Okay, so give the rundown. Who are the players we’re talking about?”

You sighed, heard Mia’s voice in the back of your head: let him go with you, he’s your boyfriend, that’s what he should do.

“Well, Nolan and Andrew, my brothers.”

“Right.”

“Andrew’s older than me, he’s thirty. His wife is Lena, she’s pregnant, due in December, actually. Nolan is twenty-six.”

“Got it.”

“There will not be quizzes on age,” you clarified.

“Okay,” he nodded. “Is Nolan single?”

“Yes, because he’s a loser,” you said quickly. You were close with both of your brothers. As the middle child and as the only girl, you’d learned at a young age how to hold your own. Apparently under higher levels of stress, you were willing to put Nolan down when he wasn’t even in earshot.

Jason laughed a little, “noted. Okay, keep it coming.”

“My mom is Leanne, my dad is Jim.”

“Right. Leanne likes furniture and interior decorating and…”

“Upholstery, specifically,” you prompted.

“Mmm, I knew I was on the right path,” he said. “And Jim likes hiking, bonus points if I weave Murphy into the conversation.”

You glanced out the window, New Jersey in view. “Yep--he’ll probably show you pictures, honestly. I think he’s more proud of that dog than he is of my career.”

He laughed at that. “Okay, so after ‘nice to meet you, sir,’ it’s ‘hey, how do you feel about beagle-hound mixes?’”

“If you call him sir, he…might not love that.”

He looked confused by this, anxiety written on his face until you let out a short laugh.

“He’s only, like, thirteen years older than you, right? He could be your brother.”

“Great--so I have no social skills and I’m old.”

“Well, we knew you were old,” you reached over to grab his hand, offered a teasing smile when he gave you an unimpressed glare. “They’ll like you, just don’t make any age jokes.”

“People love those jokes,” he pouted.

“Right--strangers, the internet, those people. This is my family we’re talking about.”

“Okay, okay,” he relented. “Who else?”

“My aunt Carla, uncle Kevin--those are Janelle’s parents. And her sister is Julia.”

“Do we like Julia?”

“She’s okay,” you shrugged. “She’s been way more normal about me getting famous, so that’s good.”

“And who’re Natalie’s parents?”

“Natalie’s parents are Hugh and Cindy. Only child. This is my dad’s side, by the way.”

“Got it.”

Quiet for a second, you picked a fuzz off your black tights and adjusted the dress your stylist had found in the back of your closet. It had already been an early day, Helen had showed up early to help with hair and make up, you sipped a coffee that Jason had brought from the kitchen when you sat in her chair.

Waterproof mascara, but you hoped you wouldn’t need it.

It wasn’t that you didn’t like your grandfather--it was more that you didn’t know him too well. He always seemed to like your brothers more, he had more in common with them, as your mom would say. He sent birthday cards and would ask how the music business was when your dad would pass him the phone.

But fame had made you feel like an outsider in your own extended family, and today would likely be no different.

“Hey,” he said, pulling your attention back. “I’m glad I’m here.”

You turned to see him, a playful smirk when you reminded: “you might not feel that way after you get bombarded with questions or selfies or--after Janelle hits on you, probably.”

“A funeral would be no place to try to pick someone up.”

“It won’t stop her,” you muttered. “But anyway, I appreciate you coming. I hope it’s not too…weird.”

“No, no,” he smiled, “I love funerals, in a not weird way.”

“You are so obnoxious,” you bit back a smirk.

“I mean it,” he defended. “Beautiful churches, good food, drunk people--they’re typically pretty good.”

“Please don’t say this kind of shit to my family,” you laughed.

“Oh, I was going to open with: sorry to hear about grandpa but let’s get the rager going. Is that not a good move? Not a good plan?”

“No,” you giggled.

“Not how I should make my first impression?”

“I mean, my brothers would find you hilarious but my parents might think you’re actually insane.”

“Well we don’t want that,” he shook his head, took an exit to head North.

You pulled into the funeral home parking lot right before 10am, saw your brothers huddled near your dad’s car when Jason parked a few spots down.

You’d been briefed on the plan: meet there, head to the church, burial, lunch after. He caught you taking a deep breath when you unbuckled, threw a wink in your direction but placed his hand on the small of your back when you led him over.

“Hi guys,” you said quietly, the morning air still crisp with fall. “Hi dad,” you offered him a hug, felt sorry for the loss but also knew your dad would soon crack a joke about it.

Once you pulled back, you gestured towards him, a nervous smile when you looked at your mom. “This is Jason--Jason, this is everyone.”

He stuck his hand out when your dad did the same.

“Sorry for your loss, sorry to meet under these circumstances.”

You felt a brow quirk--surprisingly serious and appropriate.

“Nice to meet you, thanks for coming,” your dad said. “Hope the traffic wasn’t terrible.”

“No, no--it was fine,” Jason shook his head.

“This is Nolan, this is Andrew and Lena, and then my mom obviously,” you pointed around the circle.

“Love your stuff,” Nolan leaned over, spoke quietly to avoid being reprimanded by your parents. “I can’t believe you let her sit at Ted’s desk.”

He adjusted the dark sunglasses that shielded him from the sun and Jason broke a smile.

“Oh right, you’re the one who convinced her to watch the show!”

“Okay, I didn’t need to be convinced,” you retorted.

Nolan let out a sarcastic laugh, an arm slung around your shoulder in the parking lot. “I’m the one who has actual taste.”

“I have taste you fuckwad--”

“Now’s not really the time to bicker, guys,” your dad turned over his shoulder to parent his adult-children.

“Yeah, guys,” Andrew offered a disapproving look before he leaned towards Jason and lowered his voice. “But I’m also a huge fan of the show--and you, just to be clear.”

“Thanks, man,” Jason shook your older brother’s hand.

Your dad watched on for a second, cleared his throat before he admitted: “Yeah, I—uh—am also a fan.”

Jason smiled again, a quick glance in your direction to make sure you were hearing this. “Thank you so much.”

“Horrible Bosses,” he nodded. “Great movie.”

“Isn’t there a sequel?” Lena asked, hands around her bump when she offered you a suggestive smile.

“Yeah,” your dad said. “I liked the first better though…no offense.”

Jason held his hands up, none taken.

“Okay, dad,” you laughed a little. Not what you expected, but hey, you also weren’t complaining. “Alright, what’s the intel so far?” You asked, Jason watched in confusion as you and Nolan scanned the crowd.

“Natalie appears to be flying solo,” he commented. “No eyes on Janelle yet. But I did see Julia and Aunt Carla.”

“Can everyone relax?” Your mom asked, swiping on another layer of lipstick in a compact mirror. “They’ll all be fine.”

“Last time we saw them things were not fine,” Andrew commented, offering a sideways glance in your direction. Lena nudged him in the ribs, she always came to your rescue.

“Janelle asked for ten tickets to the AMAs,” you whispered in defense, “that’s insane!”

“We know,” your mom waved you off.

“Y/N’s been making our family hate us for years,” Nolan elbowed Jason, who stifled a laugh.

“So I’ve been told,” he eyed you.

One of your aunts approached, you were ushered inside and into cars that took you to the church. Beautiful arches, flowers adorned the altar and you sat between Jason and Andrew, second pew. Sadness kicked in when the singing happened, Andrew slung an arm around your shoulder and joked: he would have hated this. The service was long and Nolan didn’t hesitate to complain after the burial.

“I get it, I mean, it’s sad--but it feels a little performative, doesn’t it?”

“Funerals?” Andrew asked--somehow Jason had agreed to let your brothers ride in the backseat on the way to the luncheon. Lena, still pregnant and tired, was stuck in the middle seat.

“Yeah,” Nolan said. “We’re seriously going to do all of that for every single human who dies?”

“This is too existential for me,” you laughed from the front seat.

“Your sister apparently has no heart,” Jason commented.

“Oh we know,” Andrew said. “She used to push us down the stairs.”

“She didn’t push you down the stairs,” Lena corrected, eyeing her husband.

“What?” Jason let out a laugh and looked over at you.

“They’d get in the way,” you defended.

“In the way of what?!” Jason asked.

“I was performing,” you laughed, recounting the memories. “I’d get up on the little landing--you know, where stairs change direction--and I’d sing. Nolan would get in the way and I’d shove him down if I had to.”

“So technically it was only a half-flight,” Nolan rolled his eyes as if that made it less egregious.

“Jesus,” Jason eyed you again. “Brutal.”

It didn’t feel all that awkward, you decided. You introduced him to your aunts, ignored the way Janelle smiled up at him once you made it to the restaurant, hoped the whispers of is it serious? why’d she bring him? how long will that last? didn’t echo for too long.

Jason pulled out a chair next to yours but laughed with your uncle about some 80s reference when you followed Nolan to the buffet.

“So--kept him a secret for a while, huh?” He kept his voice quiet as he followed you down the line. Green beans, steak, warm rolls with a butter basket nearby.

“Do I need more of a reason to have everyone up my ass?”

He stifled a laugh, made a face as if to say touché.

“How long have you guys been a thing?”

You shrugged. “Since, like, spring--but, I don’t know, it was casual until summer and then it became more official.”

“I know I should be used to you dating celebrities but this feels way cooler.”

“Okay, Janelle,” you teased. “Be cool about it.”

“Be cool?”

“I don’t want bringing him here to be the nail in the coffin--”

Nolan let out a cackle at the irony in your words and scooped some mashed potatoes onto his plate.

“Pun intended,” you murmured.

“What have mom and dad said?”

“Nothing--have they said anything to you?”

He let his head tilt from side to side, not a yes but not a no. “Mom seemed a bit taken back by the age difference.”

“Right,” you rolled your eyes.

“I think it just makes her question what the longer term plan is--”

You picked out a roll, heightened anxiety. “For me?”

“Yeah, I mean, he’s got kids right? First thing I did was google him. I didn’t know him and Olivia Wilde never got married.”

Someone with gray hair and a cane cut you in line, you didn’t recognize who it was but it prompted you to turn to Nolan and offer a fake smile. “Can we maybe talk about this later?”

He gave up, followed you back to your seat at the cousins table and picked up a conversation easily with Jason about the Knicks and the Nets and other sports teams. You sipped on wine and watched Natalie recount her favorite memories of your grandfather, tried not to roll your eyes when she and Janelle bickered over who’s college field hockey stats were better.

You tried to sneak away after lunch, tugged your mom aside and said I think we’re gonna head out.

“No way,” Nolan inserted himself quickly, just as good at eavesdropping now as he was at twelve. “You can’t ditch--we’re all going to Aunt Carla’s house.”

“What?” You looked at your mom quickly, a glance to see Jason still stuck at the cousins table. At least Andrew and Lena were there to supervise.

“You should at least come for a little,” your mom said quietly. “It’s just gonna be family.”

You let out a sigh, looked around the room and figured that maybe you’d feel less overwhelmed if there were less unfamiliar faces.

“It’s been a long day--I feel bad dragging Jason around.”

“If Lena’s almost nine months pregnant and can handle today, I think Jason can,” Nolan reminded.

“I was talking to mom,” you made a face at him.

He rolled his eyes and walked away, your mom snaked an arm around your waist.

“It hasn’t been that bad. And I know I haven’t gotten to talk to him a lot, but he seems really sweet.”

“Yeah,” you said sharply. “He is.”

“Why are you so upset?”

“Cause this is a lot,” you admitted, voice still hushed in the crowded banquet room. “He’s never met any of you and now the poor guy has to spend an entire day with this circus?” You motioned around the room at your extended family.

Your mom bit back a laugh but still managed to give a disapproving look before she glanced over to Jason: hand around a beer bottle, seated with your brother and now your uncle and dad, too. They laughed, a scene like they were old friends when someone cracked a joke.

“He seems to be fairing alright,” she commented.

You finished the wine in your glass in one swig, you needed it, looked back at your mom with a lifted brow. “An hour at Aunt Carla’s, okay?”

“Deal.”

You briefed him in the car, we don’t have to stay long. Andrew and Nolan tagged along in the backseat again, Lena complained about just how small her bladder had gotten. After thirty minutes in the living room with a basketball game on, Jason’s sleeves were rolled up and his tie loosened.

“So glad you were able to make it out,” Janelle appeared beside you, a glass of wine in hand when she offered a smile.

“Yeah--me too,” you nodded. “Sucks obviously, but--”

“So, since when has this been a thing?” She let her finger flutter between you and Jason.

“Oh,” you cleared your throat at her quick change of topic. “A few months, I don’t know, not too long.”

“He’s so sweet--so funny, obviously,” she drew out the words, looked across the room to where he stood.

“Yeah,” Natalie appeared on the other side of you now, an identical glass in her hands when she offered you a smile. Fuck, you thought, surrounded.

“Didn’t know you liked older guys,” she bumped her hip into yours.

You laughed, another gulp of wine. Lena had scurried off to the bathroom, this damn baby, now you were left without backup. “Me neither.”

Janelle giggled, lowered her voice when she pushed further: “hasn’t been that long since he broke up with Olivia Wilde, though, right? How long were they together?”

You were going to feign ignorance, but Natalie answered for you. “Almost a decade, right?”

“Something like that,” you stared straight at him, all three of you watched as he high-fived your brother in celebration, the Knicks score!

“Have you met his kids?”

You swallowed, “no.”

“Oh, bummer--is it just, y’know, not that serious?”

Janelle’s line of questioning was bold enough to make Natalie waiver: “well, she just said they haven’t been together that long.”

“Exactly,” you nodded at Natalie, subtle acknowledgement that she had your back.

Jason glanced over quickly, did a double take when he noticed he was being watched by all three of you. Apparently he took it as a cue to join the conversation, a few steps over and he clinked his beer against your glass of wine.

“Hi ladies.”

“Hi,” you smiled up at him. “We were just talking about you.”

Janelle and Natalie both faltered at your honesty, an awkward beat when Jason stifled a laugh.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, you know--typical funeral talk.”

His eyes widened, a nod when he realized how fed up you were. Andrew and Nolan appeared beside him now, a commercial break from the game.

“I was just telling her what a fan I am,” Janelle smiled up at Jason.

You watched him for a reaction, lifted your brows to silently communicate: I told you she’d hit on you!

“Oh, thank you,” he said humbly. “Bar’s probably high in this family, though, right? Y/N has enough talent for the rest of us.”

“She’s okay,” Nolan teased.

“Y/N’s so great, obviously,” Janelled smiled at you. “I feel like being funny takes more…intelligence, though, you know what I mean?”

Jason hesitated at that, Andrew stifled a laugh at your cousin’s thinly veiled insult.

“Well good thing it doesn’t take too much intelligence to be a fan of comedy, right?” You flashed her a sweet smile and laughed at your own joke.

“I’m…gonna get another drink,” Natalie said. “Janelle--do you want anything?”

She tugged her away, Jason looked down at you with a look of mild shock.

“What is up with you?” Nolan tugged on your elbow and pulled you out into the hallway, Jason and Andrew followed.

“Me?”

“Yeah,” he looked at you skeptically. “You basically just called Janelle stupid.”

“Well, number one, she started it,” you made a face. “And two, am I wrong?”

Andrew let out a laugh but Nolan shot him some kind of look.

“You’ve got some kind of stick up your ass today,” he said.

“This is a funeral, Y/N,” Andrew reminded. “Not Family Feud.”

“Okay, I need another drink if I’m going to be cast in the villain role today…”

Jason decided it was his turn to step in. “Well, do you wanna get going? Traffic might be bad in the city.”

“You guys--you’re being weird,” you looked at the three of them. Something about Jason being on the same page as your brothers felt weird and wrong and icky. Maybe that was the wine.

“It’s just been a long day, you seem stressed,” Nolan tried to reason.

“Oh my god,” you pulled your head back. “You think I’m drunk.”

He let out a sigh, insinuated he wasn’t going to be the one to go there. “I’ve watched you put back four glasses of Chianti since noon,” Nolan deadpanned. “I know you’re drunk.”

You let out a big sigh to mock your little brother, looked up to Jason. “Do I seem drunk to you?”

His eyebrows climbed north, lips pushed out in thought when he looked between you and Nolan.

“This feels like a no-win situation.”

“That’s a yes, Y/N,” Nolan nodded.

“Oh my god, I’m sorry for not taking her shit,” you said dramatically.

“Janelle did start it,” Andrew admitted.

“How am I being the most responsible right now?” Nolan’s palms twisted towards the sky.

You looked over to Jason, suddenly feeling guilty for pulling him into this mess and for the fourth glass of wine.

“Fine,” you crossed your arms. “I will leave the party early.”

“It was a funeral--”

“You know what I mean,” you shot Nolan a look.

Jason ushered you further down the hall, jackets in here, keys, farewells at the door but you managed to slip out relatively unscathed. Your mom kissed you on the forehead and promised to call you in the morning.

Once you settled into the car, you turned to see him. “I swear I’m not that drunk.”

Buzzed? Feelin’ it a little? Sure.

“It’s okay,” he smiled a little, eyeing you sideways.

“You think I’m drunk.”

“I don’t know what you are,” he laughed, “but you were ready to throw a few fists back there.”

He pulled out of the driveway and you mumbled under your breath: “s’why I didn’t want you to come to this.”

“Family is stressful, I get it.”

“I know, I know,” you rolled your eyes. “You’re always too understanding.”

“Of what?”

“Of me being stupid and young and probably annoying,” you said honestly.

He paused for a second, lips parted like he didn’t know what to say.

“Whatever,” you sighed. “I’m sorry I dragged you to this and I’m sorry I had four glasses of Chianti,” you mocked Nolan.

“He was just trying to look out for you.”

“I don’t need him to look out for me,” you bit back. “I’m not a child.”

“I didn’t say you were,” he defended, shoulders tense from the emotion in your voice.

“No--but, it doesn’t feel great to have you take my brothers’ side.”

“I wasn’t taking his side, Y/N,” he softened a little at this, stole a look at you when he turned out of your aunt’s neighborhood. “I was just trying to avoid a conflict.”

“Well I don’t need you to do that for me. I don’t need you to look after me or to worry about me.”

“I think we should just…relax for a second, okay?”

You knew he meant well, saw the way he flinched when you turned and said: “Relax?”

“I don’t mean that in a shitty way.”

“Fine,” you shrugged. “I’ll relax.”

“Why is this becoming a thing between you and I?”

“Because!” You whined, arms crossed over your chest. “You got in the middle of it. You’re bringing me home like I’m some baby and I don’t want you--”

He muttered under his breath, the words tumbled out quietly: “well, you’re kind of acting like one.”

“--excuse me?”

He sighed, shook his head, tried to scoop up the words quickly before the damage spread. Too late.

“I’m sorry, okay? Can we pause? Can we just go home and maybe wait for the wine to wear off?”

You felt the tears coming, felt the burning in your throat when you looked over at him. Of course--of course this is how it would happen.

How could you have thought bringing him to meet your family would be a good idea? How on earth did you think that the two of you could survive a serious and stuffy event like this?

Everything in your relationship thus far had been playful, casual—skirting by responsibility and avoiding the roadblocks that would inevitably sink you.

When he saw the emotion on your face he melted a little, shoulder slumped and he reached a hand over to your thigh. “Hey--come on, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that. I don’t want to fight with you.”

“Well it’s too late for that,” you whimpered a little, smacked the visor down to inspect yourself in the mirror. You dabbed beneath your eyes, wiped the tears on your dress.

He was quiet for a bit, you stared out the window but turned to see him when he didn’t take the exit for the Hudson Parkway south. Back to Brooklyn, you hated the way he offered you an apologetic smile but hated the way your pulse quickened even more.

“You’re not a baby,” he broke the silence finally, pulled up to the curb and put the car in park, turning to see you. He waited a second, kept his eyes on your face and then asked: “Is the age thing part of what’s stressing you out today?”

“I don’t know,” you dismissed the thought. “Why?”

“Well,” he shrugged, a sigh before he spoke: “You are a lot younger than me.”

You blinked a few times, tired from the day and the emotions and, maybe, from the grief.

“I’m aware,” you said sharply.

He got out, annoyed, you followed him up the sidewalk and inside, dropped your purse on the floor beside a tiny pair of cleats that hadn’t been there last week.

“Is this not working for you?”

You turned to see him quickly, fear etched on your face when he shrugged.

“Why do you ask that?”

“I don’t know, Y/N--it seems like things go great and then something happens and you freak out, but you don’t tell me what’s happening so I’m kind of left in the dark.”

“Left in the dark?” You repeated his words, the audacity. “You mean like how I’m left in the dark with all of this?”

He watched you bend over, pick up one of the cleats and hold it up between you.

“Or do you mean in the dark like how I still don’t know anything about them or about her aside from the shit I find every time I’m in this house?”

He held his hand up to his face, rubbed his jaw when he let out a sigh. “Forgive me for thinking that it’d be best to keep it separate, okay? What am I supposed to do? Fuck you upstairs and then tell you about the time the four of us built a snowman outside?”

“I don’t know!” You yelled now, “but keeping it separate makes it feel like this isn’t going anywhere!”

“Do you want it to go somewhere?” He asked, frustrated and confused and more emotional than you’d ever seen him before.

“I don’t know what I want from you because I didn’t expect to be--”

You cut yourself off, dropped the cleat back to the floor and shrugged, eyes anywhere but on him.

“To be what?” He asked, anger still in his voice when you took a deep breath.

“To be falling in love with someone who probably doesn’t feel the same way.”

You could see his chest rise and fall beneath his white dress shirt, he tore his gaze away from you after a second, a siren audible through the front door.

“Why didn’t you tell me that?” He asked suddenly, less angry but still upset. “You’ve been sitting on that and you didn’t think it would be a good idea to clue me in?”

“I didn’t want to ruin it,” you said honestly, a slight roll of your eyes when he shook his head.

“You’ve been so busy filling in the blanks that you haven’t even considered what the truth might be.”

“Because I don’t want to be the stupid kid who’s in over her head!”

He let out a sigh, stared at the floor for a second. “Are you in love with me?”

Was he really going to make you answer that? You stalled for a second, figured that he’d take it back or change his mind about wanting to know.

When you looked back to him, his eyebrows were arched, the left corner of his mouth twisted into a tiny smirk.

“I don’t know.”

“You don’t know?” he asked, chin jutting out at your indecision.

“I don’t know,” you said it again, exhausted.

“That’s too bad,” he shrugged.

This pulled your gaze back up to him quickly. “Why?”

A smirk, “because I feel the same way.”

Your heart dropped so quickly it felt like it might fall out of your body and onto the hardwood of his foyer, but your walls were still up.

“How do you know I feel that way?” You challenged, “I said I don’t know.”

A step closer to you when he put his hands in his pockets. “You’re forgetting that I’m older and wiser, remember?”

A joke from your first date, you wanted to laugh, wanted to have a comeback or a quip or something to smooth over the last two hours. Instead, he wrapped his arms around you when emotion welled in your eyes, a mix of things: anxiety, sadness, hope.

“I’m not crying,” you wiped your cheeks, laughed when he pulled away and looked down at you.

“No? Isn’t that what they call it when water comes out of your eyes?”

“I’ve had a weird day, alright?”

He chuckled, pressed a kiss to your forehead when he said. “Does this mean I get to upgrade now from saying I like you to I love you?”

“You don’t have to,” you sniffled, still feeling insecure and unsure. You brought your eyes up to his, couldn’t help but mirror the stupid smile he had on his face when you giggled.

“What if I want to?”

“Then you can say it,” you shrugged.

“Okay,” he nodded, took a step back and took you by the hand to bring you upstairs. “Good to know.”

Quiet, you followed him up the steps and he smirked at you over his shoulder.

“You’re an asshole,” you said.

“Yeah,” he shrugged like this wasn’t news to him. “But at least we know I’m an asshole you love.”

So you fell asleep on his chest and woke up with a headache. The first few thoughts were as follows: holy shit, did he actually, did you actually, what does this, now what should you?

He rolled over, blinked a few times when he found you staring at the ceiling.

“Hey.”

“Hello,” you said abruptly, cordially, business-like.

A beat before he asked: “ya doin’ alright?”

“Yeah,” you nodded, eyes still on the overhead fan that swirled and swirled, calmly, steadily. “You?”

“Yeah,” he said.

The acknowledgement seemed to blanket the room, the whole house, actually, when you followed him downstairs and he brewed a pot of coffee. His arms around your shoulders when you dumped pancake batter into a frying pan, the anxiety in you slowly dissolving.

Out of half-and-half, he said, tugging on shoes, corner store, be right back.

You heard the door shut, alone in the house for the first time when the TV echoed from the living room. You picked up your phone to text Blake, what a fucking night, so much to tell you.

But the doorbell rang, your head snapped up. Did he forget his keys? How close was the grocer on the corner?

You padded through the hall, tugged it open with hesitancy to find the three of them, two blonde heads of hair and a look of surprise on her face that mirrored yours.

“Oh, hi,” Olivia said.

story page | talk to me/join the tag list | the playlist

AN: ooooops! omg I have been waiting for y'all to read this chapter because SO MUCH HAPPENS. digging a little deeper pals, cause you know i love the deep shit.

[tsumucore]

LUCID DREAMS

✎ … Miya Atsumu

word count: 5.2k

warnings: NSFW, pwp, daddy kink, a lot of degradation, spanking, choking, sexting, overstimulation, masturbation, he kinda spits in your mouth, just rough sex overall

All characters are 18+ !!!!

A/N: this is my first nsfw fic, so pls bear with me 🥺  I’m also dedicating this to @starboybokuto and @strawbericream for inspiring me and also bc they’re literally smut icons in the fandom and after writing this, I’m realizing just how hard it it to do and I just wanna appreciate them for all the effort they put in <3

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ

His moans were like honey, pouring from his sweet lips and into your ears, as his thrusts became erratic. He was close. The sounds of your own pleasure filled the room before he swallowed them up completely with his beautiful mouth. You were close. This space that was inhabited by you two was the only dimension where time didn’t exist. Nothing else mattered in this moment, except for each other. You were so, so, so, so, so clo-

“Wake up!”

Your roommate’s exclamation breaks you out of your lust-filled slumber with a jolt. You groan and silently curse her as details of the dream gradually come back to you; she’d have to make a run for it if she valued her life, or at least avoiding getting smacked in the face by the pillow you throw at her with impressive force.

“Y/N, what did I do? she whines. “You told me to wake you up. I only did what you said!”

“Literally fuck you, I was having a good dream,” you fire back.

“MAN if you don’t… anyway shouldn’t you be in class by now?” Your eyes widen as you fumble for your phone to check the time.

“Shit!” Usually, you wouldn’t have bothered showing up if you were running late, but this class took attendance, and you were already on the cusp between two letter grades. A menial attendance point could be the difference between maintaining your GPA or tarnishing it.

You wash up in record time, throw on some clothes, and shove your necessary belongings in your backpack before slinging it on your back. You don’t even have time to fill up your water bottle; you’d just have to purchase one on campus later. You pop in your earbuds, select a random playlist, and fly out the door.

You don’t stop until you reach the lecture hall. You try not to cringe as you push open the door, slinking your way in the back to find an open seat; luckily, there was one near the door so your humiliation was short-lived. When you finally sit down and situate yourself, you take a deep breath for the first time that morning and collect your thoughts.

As your mind wanders, memories of your erotic dream come back to you. The faintest of color tints your cheeks, and you shift slightly in your seat as you subtly cross your legs. You pull out your phone, preparing to fire a text at lightning speed. You need your boyfriend.

Y/N: i miss you

Atsumu: :))

Y/N: im not trying to gas ur big head up even more than it already is i’m just whore knee

Atsumu: OH????? aren’t you in class rn?

Y/N: i’d rather be choking on your fat cock tbh

Atsumu: naughty girl, why are you saying such things in the middle of class?

Y/N: what are you gonna do about it... choke me? spank me? make me cum over and over and over again?

Atsumu: Watch your mouth, baby...

Y/N: Ok...

Y/N: ...daddy.

Fighting the smile tugging at your lips, you set your phone on ‘do not disturb’ and refocus your attention on the professor’s droning voice. By the time lecture was over, you scramble out of the building, eager to make a quick call to your boyfriend so you could describe to him in specific detail everything you wanted him to do to you.

Alas, you heard the voices of your friends calling out to you, so you’re forced to sit through idle chit-chat until your next class starts. Of course, today was also a full day, so you would have to endure the rest of your classes, your position as a TA, and the study session your classmates were pulling together at the library for your next exam - which just so happened to be in two days, meaning you couldn’t opt out. At this rate, you wouldn’t be leaving campus until dark. And it was only 10 in the morning.

While you daydream in your next class, you’re broken out of your reverie by the realization that you had neglected to check your phone after effectively ending the conversation with Atsumu the way that you had. You unlock your phone, seeing that you have just one unread message from him - a photo. 

You know what’s coming before you even open it, so you’re careful to ensure that your screen isn’t in anyone’s line of sight - luckily, you were sitting in the back again, so there aren’t any prying eyes over your shoulder. You turn down the brightness and open the conversation before practically salivating on the spot.

You have an idea of what exactly the photo was going to be of, but nothing could prepare you for the effect it had on you.

It’s evident that he had propped up his phone on something and taken the photo on self-timer. Bleached tufts of hair fell over his forehead as he winked back at you through the screen with his lips pursed as if he was going to kiss someone. The only thing he wore was a gold chain around his neck. He was flashing a peace sign with one hand, while the other was wrapped around a good sized erection.

You feel your mouth dry up and your thighs subconsciously squeeze together. The way this photo was triggering a physiological reaction from your body was astounding. You need this man, and you need him now. You whisper to your friend that you had to use the bathroom, that you might be gone for a while - it must have been the iced coffee going straight through you - and to let you know if you missed anything. You try not to trip over anyone’s legs in your haste to get to the restroom.

Since this was a fairly large building, there were multiple restrooms, and so you locate the one you know is always empty and secluded - the one below the main floor. Once you enter, you do a quick check in each stall to make sure you’re alone before locking the door. You go into the biggest stall and commence with your plan of action.

You take off your shirt and bra and neatly hang them on the hooks behind the stall door. The sudden exposure to the chilly air makes you shiver as your nipples harden in response. You then bring your phone up to your chest, so that your face isn't in frame and begin to record yourself lightly massaging your breasts. You make sure to softly moan Atsumu’s name when you pinch your nipple, rolling it between your thumb and index finger. After about thirty seconds, you promptly send the footage to your boyfriend.

He immediately starts facetiming you which causes your thighs to squeeze together expectantly. When you answer the call, you’re greeted with dark, lustful eyes and a shit-eating grin.

“I heard someone missed me today.” His tone is slightly mocking, indicative of something deeper underneath.

“I had a dream about you,” you inform him as you slowly begin to massage your breasts the way you had before.

“Yeah? What happened in your dream?” His eyes darken as he shrewdly observes the way you sigh as your fingers glide over your nipples. God, he wished he could just take them in between his teeth.

You bite your lip in response to his tone becoming increasingly huskier. “I dreamed about you… fucking me.” Your voice falters a bit as you suddenly feel a wave of shyness rush over you. Atsumu often had this effect on you - sure, there was no limit to the amount of things you had done together; however, he was still able to make you feel flustered, as if it was the first time all over again.

“How naughty,” he scoffs. “You love actin’ so innocent, but what would people say if they really knew what was goin’ on in that pretty little head of yours? What would they say if they saw what you were tellin’ me in the middle of class? Do ya know what they would say, dollface?”

You can’t bring yourself to respond, only managing a feeble shaking of your head.

“They would call you a whore. A filthy, depraved slut. And do ya know what sluts get?”

Again, another feeble shake.

“Nothing. Sluts get nothing,” he laughs mockingly as he angles his phone until you have an adequate view of the way he’s been stroking himself this entire time. “And now, dollface, you’re gonna have to watch me get myself off. I want your hands off of yourself entirely... If I catch you touchin’ yourself even once, you get nothing. But if you’re good, I might just play with ya later.”

You whimper at his order, but you have no choice; you had brought this upon yourself by getting him riled up with those texts in the first place. As you swallow thickly, he begins to jerk himself off - slowly at first, torturing you with each stroke as he looks directly through the camera and into your eyes. He then begins to pick up the pace as heavy pants and the occasional moan escapes from his mouth.

“See what ya did to me, baby? This is all because of you.” His breathing grows erratic as he edges closer and closer to his release. “And now look at you. Watchin’ a man jerk off in a public restroom, with your tits out, when you’re supposed to be in class like a good girl. Now tell me, does that sound like a good girl?”

You merely whimper in response.

“Answer me,” he practically growls. “Does. That. Sound. Like. A. Good. Girl.”

“No,” you whisper as you feel a surge of arousal rush to your core. You knew your panties would be suffering thoroughly by the time you returned to class.

“Then tell me, dollface. What. Are. You.” Each enunciation is emphasized with a hard stroke to his cock - the same way he would be thrusting into you. It takes absolutely everything in you not to sneak your hand down to your throbbing clit; he’d know if you did, he always did. The prospect of not being touched by him later was unthinkable, so you continue to helplessly watch him fuck his own hand.

“I’m a filthy whore, your filthy whore,” you whine in compliance as you watch him thrust into his hand a few more times before letting out a long, drawn out moan and spilling his release all over himself. You can’t help the moan that escapes your own lips as you take in the sight of his flushed face and heavy rising and falling of his chest.

“You actually listened to me for once? This is a surprise,” he chuckles once he recovers from his orgasm. “Hurry up and come over… I’ll fuck ya ‘til you can’t even remember your own name.”

•.｡.༺✩༻.｡.•

For the rest of the day, you hoped you were doing a relatively adequate job of hiding your arousal as you went about your responsibilities. You were literally counting down the seconds until you were finished with everything so you could meet up with Atsumu and let him fuck you like he promised. At one point, you caught yourself almost drooling during your group study session at the library. You took this as your cue to leave, so you politely excused yourself by letting the others know that it was time for you to leave as you had to get up early the next morning.

After what felt like the longest and, thanks to Atsumu, the most torturous day ever, you felt completely ravenous. From the second you had woken up, you had been straight up horny, and the fact that you hadn't been able to take care of it was driving you insane. You had been rushed all day, never having a moment to yourself, and when you did, Atsumu had specifically instructed you not to satisfy yourself the way you needed to be satisfied. It was unfair.

To make matters worse, you missed the train that would take you to Atsumu’s apartment as he lived quite a while away from your campus. The next train would be leaving in an hour, which was just too much for you at this point. Delay after delay. You grit your teeth in frustration as you weigh your options: you could wait another painstaking hour for the train that would inevitably take you to your dick appointment or you could spend a fortune by calling for a taxi and getting there right now. While you mentally calculate your finances, your clit throbs just slightly when you cross your legs, which causes you to throw all thoughts of being a penniless college student out the window in favor of getting fucked mercilessly as soon as possible.

•.｡.༺✩༻.｡.•

Of course the elevator in Atsumu’s apartment building was currently out of order at that moment, leaving you with no other choice but to climb the seven flights of stairs to his apartment. At this point, you feel like you’re running on some sort of primal instinct as you sprint up the stairs with the vigor possessed by only someone who’s about to be dicked down. By the time you reach his door, you’re already huffing and puffing, but your own exhaustion escapes your mind as you ring his doorbell impatiently. Once the door swings open, you’re greeted with the sight of your boyfriend smirking back at you.

The motherfucker wore nothing but loose gray sweatpants that hung dangerously low on his hips and the same gold chain around his neck from earlier. You chuck your backpack on the floor and throw yourself onto him, pressing your lips against his (minty?) ones. The kiss is sloppy and intense as you try to make him feel the desperation you had been forced to endure all day long. 

Somehow, your clothes find themselves on the ground in a matter of seconds. He lightly slaps at your thigh, a signal for you to jump into his arms. When you do, your hands immediately find themselves tangled in his hair, and you tug at the roots lightly, earning a growl from him. You gasp and moan into his mouth when you feel his hands give your ass a good squeeze. He manages to carry you like this into his bedroom before gently dropping you onto his bed, where he palms himself above you as he gazes at your nude form. On god, you can literally see his dick print through his sweats, and it only fuels the wetness forming between your thighs.

“Atsumu, I’ve been waiting all fucking day long. Stop being an asshole and fuck me already like you promised,” you whine as you reach your hands up to rub them along his abdomen, relishing in the feeling of his abs beneath your fingertips. You were hoping that this would coax him into giving you what you want, but he merely ceases his actions and raises an eyebrow at you.

“Who do you think you are, talkin’ to me like that?” His eyes narrow, and he leans down so that he’s hovering directly above you. “Is my baby so goddamn horny that she actually forgot her manners?” His hand comes up to wrap around your throat, gradually squeezing it harder as he glares at you. “Looks like I’ll have to remind ya how to properly speak to me. Turn over - I want that ass up in the air.” 

You pout as you obey his command and flip over on your knees so that your face is shoved into the pillow and your ass is sticking straight up for him, bracing yourself for what you know is about to come.

“You know the drill, since you wanna be such a goddamn slut - count for daddy.” Before you can respond, his hand collides with your left asscheek, causing you to yelp and moan, “One,” weakly into the pillow. The sting doesn’t last for very long, but you know better - by tomorrow, you won’t be able to sit properly.

He continues delivering powerful slaps to your ass and admires the way it jiggles with every smack and the redness blooming across the soft flesh. Every so often, he plunges two fingers into your now sopping heat, without warning. He removes them as quickly as he puts them in, causing you to whine in frustration. By the time you reach ten spanks, you’re babbling incoherently as you wiggle your hips in the air, clenching around nothing and desperate for anything to fill you up.

He flips you back over on your back and scoffs at your desperation. “Have you learned your lesson, whore?” It’s not a question - it’s a demand.

As much as you want to do or say whatever he wants so that he can fuck you already, it’s always more fun to see what happens when you piss him off. You jut out your lower lip in a pout and stare up at him defiantly. “No.”

Before you know it, you’re being flipped back onto your stomach. Another round of brutal spankings are delivered to your asscheeks, causing tears to prick your eyes as the burning pain sets in. You’re going to be sore for the next week.

“Leave it to a whore to be so mouthy,” he growls as he flips you over on your back again and thrusts two fingers into your cunt. “But you like this, don’t ya? You like pissin’ me off, because you like getting your pretty little ass spanked and you like being choked, whether it’s by my hand or on my cock. I should shut you up with my cock, since you wanna be so mouthy. Tell me, do ya like choking on cock, whore?”

“Yes, daddy,” you moan quite loudly. The combination of his degrading words and consistent thrusting of his fingers in and out of your pussy was sending you into a haze.

“Of course you fucking do,” he spits. “You told me so yourself when you were sitting all innocent in class. In fact, what else did ya tell me?” His thumb was now brushing vigorously against your clit during each thrust, causing your legs to shake violently. The whimpers falling from your lips grow louder as you focus on the buildup slowly forming in the pit of your stomach. However, your lack of response doesn’t impress him. He immediately pulls his fingers out and slaps your pussy, eliciting a jerk from your entire body and a drawn-out moan from the surprising sensation.

“Answer me, fuckdoll. Or you get nothing.” He literally shoves his fingers back in and continues his relentless thrusting, filling the room with the squelching sounds of your sloppy cunt. You scramble to remember the contents of the lewd texts you had sent him earlier that day, but your brain is so hazy from the orgasm you know is about to hit you, that you’re stumbling through your words.

“I-I said something about w-wanting to choke on your cock-” your sentence is cut off with a long moan as he applies direct pressure on your clit with his thumb.

“We established that already, dollface,” he scoffs. “What. Else.”

“I d-don’t remember,” you wail and thrash your head side to side against the pillow. Your release is so close, you can taste it. “Daddy, please let me cum - I’m going to cum!”

“Don’t remember? That’s a shame,” he remarks as he completely stops his actions and pulls his fingers out, yet again. You let out a scream of frustration at the fact that your orgasm was just cruelly ripped away from you. “Let’s see, maybe we need a refresher.” To your disbelief, he pulls out his phone and scrolls to the conversation from that morning. “Hmm, you told me to choke and spank you… Well, I’ve already done both of those, so what else?” His eyes narrow down at your quivering form and, to your relief, he puts his fingers back in you and continues thrusting. What was the last thing you told me, whore?”

“I-I told you to m-make me cum over and over a-again,” you gasp out as one final sharp thrust sends you completely over the edge. Before you know it, you’re screaming his name as you crash down from your high.

You moan in bliss as you feel the utter fucking release of the tension that had been building up inside you all day long. However, you barely have time to relax before you realize Atsumu’s still going at it in your now sensitive pussy.

“Tsumu,” you gasp as you feel your body jerking in response to the oversensitivity. “It’s s-so much… I-I c-can’t-”

The motherfucker literally laughs as he watches your face contort from the sheer overwhelming pleasure. “What? You asked for it. You’re droolin’ already and all I’ve given you are my fingers.” His jeering words ignite the fire building up for the second time as tears stream down your face from the overstimulation. “You tellin’ me you want me to stop?” He stuffs a third finger inside, stretching you even further and eliciting even more delicious cries from your lips. It felt like his fingers were thrusting even harder and faster, if that was possible.

“N-no, keep g-going,” you wail before you’re hit with your second orgasm of the night. All that you’re able to get out is a blubbering combination of “daddy” and “Tsumu” as your vision goes white and you hear the roaring of your own blood in your ears.

Atsumu finally slides his fingers out of your drenched pussy, eyes fixating on the string from your fluids attached to them. He takes advantage of your still panting mouth to stuff his fingers in between your lips. “You know what to do.” His eyes darken as he watches you desperately suck on his fingers, tasting your own essence on them. After he feels that you’ve effectively done a thorough job of cleaning them off for him, he smirks and pulls them out before leaning down so that he’s hovering above you.

“Good girl. Open wide for your reward.” Once you comply, he works up a good amount of saliva and lets it fall in your mouth, directly on your tongue. You moan as you relish the taste of his spit and swallow it all. “Thank you daddy,” you beam up at him.

He draws himself back in satisfaction as he pulls his sweatpants off, freeing his rock hard length and letting it slap against his abdomen. As spent as you are from your previous orgasms, there’s nothing you’re craving more than for him to be balls deep in your tight pussy. He just remains where he is, stroking himself as he watches you grow impatient for him to do something already.

 “Tsumu,” you plead in the calmest tone you can muster. “Please fuck me already.”

He merely continues to pump his cock, much to your dismay. “How much do you want my big cock, whore?” Again, it isn’t a question.

“I want it more than anything in the whole wide world,” you beg. Each stroke to his cock only serves to increase your frustration.

“Prove it.”

You let out a groan and proceed to rub your tits, squeezing them together and rolling your nipples in between your fingers. In your attempt to please him, you notice the way Atsumu slightly picks up the pace of his strokes as he watches you play with your tits.

But it still isn’t enough for him.

“You can do better than that.”

Fucking hell. You let go of your breasts and spread your legs, hooking your hands behind your knees so that he has a perfect view of your pretty, spoiled pussy. Your cheeks burn as you bring your hand down to spread your lips, offering him access to your slick hole. “C’mon, Tsumuuuuu… I’m all good and ready for you.”

Atsumu swallows thickly and finally relents. He grabs your thighs and holds them open as he positions himself at your entrance and pushes into you. You’re so wet from your previous orgasms that he slides in easily, burying himself to the brim as he loses himself in the feeling of being fully sheathed inside you and lets out a long moan. It feels like your pussy is literally swallowing him up as he bottoms out. Your eyes roll back as you feel yourself being deliciously, oh so wonderfully, stretched. His fingers were heavenly on their own, but nothing in the world could compare to the feeling of his thick cock hitting all the right spots in you.

“Fuck, yeahhh. You’re so tight, fuck. How are ya so tight?” Atsumu’s breathing is heavy as he squeezes his eyes shut, relishing the sensation of your walls clenching around him. He starts thrusting slowly, checking your face for any signs of discomfort. However, you grow impatient and start wiggling your hips, urging him to go faster. He scoffs and slaps your breast in response. “Be patient, dollface. You’ll take what I give ya.” You whimper, but cease your actions. Atsumu must have apparently decided that was enough for him as well, because he picks up his speed. 

His hips slap against you from the brutal way he fucks you into oblivion. His strokes are deep and hard, causing you to turn into a sobbing mess. The room is filled with the sounds of his balls slapping against your ass and your cries begging him to not stop and go even harder. The way he pounds into you has your entire body rocking back and forth as you moan at the feeling of his pelvis meeting you with each movement. 

“M-more, daddy!” Drool is seeping out of the corners of your open mouth and your eyes are glazed over from the sheer feeling of him being balls deep in you.

“You love being fucked like this, don’t ya?” Atsumu’s grunts fill your ears and you clench even tighter at his words. “An’ it’s never enough for you. Insatiable whore.” He delivers a particularly sharp thrust at the word “whore” which makes you blubber nonsensically. You want to tell him that you’re his insatiable whore, but your words are jumbling together as all your senses are devoted to the way his cock is slamming in and out of your cunt.

At this rate, you’re about to cum again in no time. Atsumu picks up on this and makes you wrap your legs around him so he can pound into you even deeper from this new angle. The tip of his dick now hits your g spot with each brutal thrust, making you literally scream in delirium. He’s more than pleased at your response, which is why he suddenly halts his movements and tilts his head at you in the cockiest manner. You want to scream and swear at him in every language possible, but you’re in such disbelief that all you can muster is the dirtiest glare at him. He laughs at the way your hips involuntarily move around him.

“Look at ya, you’re so fuckin’ cockhungry. I’m not even doing anything and your pussy’s tryna suck me in.” Before you can protest, he suddenly pulls out so that just the tip of his dick is inside you and slams back in with no warning. He’s back to thrusting into you, hitting your g spot with immense force. 

Before you know it, the knot that had been forming in your stomach completely snaps. His eyes train on the way your tongue lolls out of your mouth and your eyes cross together as your mind goes completely blank when you cum yet again. Your pussy clenches around him, causing him to swear profusely, and your fluids gush out involuntarily. Your cheeks are flushed and your chest is covered in the sheen from your sweat. He lets go of your thighs and leans over to meet your lips with his, never stopping the steady rhythm of his thrusts. You pant into his mouth as the sound of your heartbeat pounds in your ears and the cool metal of his chain dangles against your skin. 

“C’mon, make that face again for me.” Atsumu begins to rub your clit harshly, eliciting a high-pitched mewl from you as your entire body shudders.

“I-I-I…” Your teeth are clenched and your eyes are squeezed shut as pressure fills your head from the overwhelming sensation spreading throughout your body. It’s all too much, and you’re not sure you can cum again.

“Give it to me one more time, pretty girl. I know you can do it, I gotcha.” Atsumu starts sucking on the sweet spot behind your ear and continues to fuck you with the vigor of a possessed man. The bedframe shakes uncontrollably from the way he pummels into you. His thumb rubbing furiously at your clit sends shock waves of pleasure throughout your overly sensitive body and before you know it, the familiar pressure is building up in your stomach again. 

“Oh my god, oh my god, oh my go-,” you chant as your eyes roll back in your head and you scream out his name while your vision goes completely white. Atsumu groans at the feeling of your tight walls milking his cock for everything he has. Your whole body is shaking, and you’re so wracked with pleasure that you can scarcely process the way his thrusts grow sloppy as he gets closer and closer to his own release.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck.” His groans fill the room as he erratically pummels into you to chase his high. 

“Cum inside me, daddy. Want you to fill me all the way up.” Your words are slurring together at this point due to the heady arousal clouding your mind, but they’re enough to tip Atsumu over the edge. He lets out a moan and his hips stutter to a stop as you’re overcome with the feeling of his cock twitching inside you and suddenly filling you to the brim with his cum.

Atsumu collapses on top of you and pants heavily in an attempt to catch his breath. The two of you are silent for a good few minutes before he gathers whatever strength is left in him to pull out of you. He remains somewhat on top of your utterly spent body and peppers kisses all over your face. “You good?”

“Never better,” you reach a hand up to stroke his hair, and he hums contentedly in response before rolling over to your side. He throws an arm over you, hugging you to his body and just stares at you lovingly.

“I wasn’t too rough on ya, was I?” His hand reaches down to your ass to rub soothingly at the marks left by him.  

“You were perfect, babe.” You grab his hand, intertwining your fingers with his own. “I’m sleeping good tonight, thanks to you.” He smiles at this and positions himself so that his head is tucked in the crook of your neck. He closes his eyes for a while as he savors the feeling of you stroking his hair and planting kisses on the top of his head.

“Babe?”

“Hm?”

“Ya wanna order food?” His eyes are still shut and you chuckle. “Yeah.”

“Who’s callin’?” He snuggles a bit further into you.

“Not it.” His eyes open and he looks up at you before literally pouting. You can’t believe this is the same man you were calling “daddy” just a few minutes ago.

“Why do I hafta do it,” he grumbles.

“Sorry that my phone’s out there and yours is literally at your feet because you wanted to be theatrical and ‘teach me a lesson.’” You smile as he continues to grumble under his breath, but pushes himself up to grab his phone and dial the number of your favorite takeout place. “Love youuuuuu,” you sing-song and flash a toothy grin at him.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. I love ya too.” He rolls his eyes and lies back down next to you as he speaks to the worker on the phone. The entire time he absentmindedly plays with your hands as you sigh contentedly and bask in the feeling of being with him.

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ

masterlist ｡･:*:･ﾟ rules

[young-dumb-and-vaccinated]

Cult Girl: Doctorate (Hannibal x Female!Reader) pt. 11

Cult Girl goes on a little solo excursion while Hannibal works.

@wisesandwichshark @pearlstiare

Trigger warnings: (fake) blood, mentions of death overseas, anti-choice harassment, discussion of abortion

Archie and Max leaving the picture was a problem you couldn't bring yourself to deal with when you awoke the next day. You anticipated a massive downward spiral if you didn't do something for yourself and fast. You'd spent so much time worrying about your schoolwork and your baby that it was long past due.

You made a couple of phone calls and found a GameStop a little out of the way with a used copy of Pokémon Alpha Sapphire for sale. About twenty minutes drive. Hannibal had back-to-back appointments clogging up his day, so it gave you an excuse to go on a little excursion.

You climbed into your car, picked an extensive playlist of your favorite songs and set off. You plugged the directions into your phone and let the map guide you. The roads narrowed as you watched your surroundings grow less and less familiar.

Soon enough, you pulled into a parking lot. Nestled between a Planned Parenthood and a used bookstore, the GameStop beckoned you. At the end of your tunnel vision was that game and nothing could stop you from getting it.

Certainly not from lack of trying.

"Stop right there!" A voice said. It chuckled, trying to make the rude interruption seem friendly.

An obstacle appeared in your line of sight: a plain-looking middle-aged white woman with dyed blonde hair. Just your garden variety Karen.

"Can I help you?" You said, giving your voice a distinct, annoyed bite.

She smiled, though not without discomfort. "Are you going, y'know, in there?"

She gestured to the building behind you. Uncertain of what she wanted or why she was making a trip to the GameStop so weird, you answered in the affirmative.

"Yeah, why?"

She wrapped her hand around your arm, as if to restrain you. Her touch made your skin crawl.

"I really don't think you should go in there."

You finally put the pieces together. This lady was just some anti-choice maniac, waiting outside a Planned Parenthood for any random pregnant woman to approach.

"Yeah, I totally carried this baby for five months just to get rid of it within a week of the legal termination threshold." You rolled your eyes. "I just want it to feel the maximum possible amount of pain when I destroy it."

The woman's face turned into one of abject horror and you smiled, feeling proud of yourself. You yanked your arm from her hand with full intent to walk away. That should have been the end of it.

"Wait!" She shouted, snatching you by the shoulder. "Please, reconsider. God gave you that little one because he wants you to be a mommy!"

"For the love of fuck, woman." You snarled. "Can you seriously not pick up on sarcasm? I'm not even going to the clinic. I'm going to the GameStop."

She wasn't convinced. "See, I think you're lying to me. I think you're telling me one thing and then you're gonna do another thing."

"What the hell is it any of your business, Karen?" You scowled at her. "Leave me alone!"

"Just pray about it, please!" She pleaded. "What if your baby grows up to be a soldier? Protecting your freedom?"

"Oh, then I should definitely kill it now." You snarked. "Would save him the trouble of getting blown up by other Americans in a senseless war like my dad."

Adda girl, [F/N]! You thought to yourself. Nothing gets nosy strangers to go away quite like revealing even more personal information!

She put both her hands on your protruding belly. "Don't worry, angel. Mommy isn't going to kill you! Aunt Laurie won't allow it!"

You vaguely remembered your obstetrician saying something about how twenty-week fetuses could hear the outside world. You weren't planning on subjecting the kid to violence this early on, but desperate times call for desperation.

You grabbed her by the shoulders and shoved her down. She screamed, getting the attention of a few onlookers.

"Help!" She wailed, lying on the ground as if she couldn't get up. "I'm being attacked!"

You dashed as quickly as your legs could carry you into the GameStop. The lone cashier, a purple-haired girl with a nose ring, pretended that she hadn't been watching the altercation and looked back down at her sandwich.

"Welcome to GameStop." She said, hesitantly. "Are you... [F/N]?"

You nodded. "Yeah, I'm here for that copy of Alpha Sapphire."

"Tubular." She rummaged in a drawer beside her for the envelope.

A rather massive eevee plush displayed behind the counter caught your eye. "How much for her?"

The cashier placed the game on the counter and looked back at the massive eevee. "Fourty-four ninety-five."

"I'll take her too." You said.

The cashier pulled the eevee down from the shelf and scanned its tag.

"Aight, your total is sixty-nine eighty." She said.

"Nice." You snickered, reaching for your credit card.

The cashier smirked as you inserted the chip. "Hey, was that crazy lady accosting you outside?"

"I take it she does that a lot?" You asked.

She heaved a sigh. "You have no idea."

You looked behind at the large windows and saw the woman standing outside the door, waiting for you. You felt like a caged animal. Your eyes scanned the room and landed on a couple ketchup packets. A sick idea formed in your head.

"Are you gonna use those?" You asked, pointing to them.

The cashier glanced at the woman and raised her eyebrow. "Not if you have a better use for them."

The bell jangled as you walked out of the store with a shopping bag around your wrist and a ketchup packet in each hand. Just as suspected, the woman grabbed your arm.

"Oh, honey!" She exclaimed. "Before you leave, god put it on my mind to say a little prayer for the unborn soldier he's gifted you in your womb."

"I'd rather you not." You said, trying to yank your arm out of her surprisingly strong grip.

"You're brave, but foolish, girl." She barked, positioning herself in front of you. You fidgeted with the ketchup packets behind your back, opening them just enough.

The woman put both her hands on your belly. The second you felt her touch, you threw yourself backwards. You landed, not without pain, squarely on your ass.

"Oh my?" The woman covered her mouth with her fingertips. "Are you--"

You leaned forward and moaned in pain, clutching your baby bump with one hand while drenching your shorts in ketchup with the other. You pretended to cave around the pain, then threw yourself back, revealing a bloody stain leaking from between your legs. The woman shrieked.

"Oh my fucking god!" The cashier from the store said, rushing to your side. She put her hand on your shoulder and glared at the woman. "What did you do?!?"

"She pushed me and I think it hurt my baby!" You wailed.

"Holy shit, why would you hurt her baby?!" The cashier shouted, allowing you to slink your arm around her shoulder for support. She then snatched your shopping bag from the ground.

"I didn't mean to, honest!" She said, on the verge of tears. "I was just trying to spread god's love and joy-"

"By assaulting a pregnant woman?!" The cashier yelled. You were clutching your stomach in fake pain. She helped you to your feet. "Come on, let's get you to the clinic."

You conjured up some fake tears. "You killed my baby!"

"You wicked woman!" She cried out. Her voice faded out as you approached the clinic. "You don’t deserve a baby!"

You kept up the crying and wailing until you arrived at the Planned Parenthood. More interested in covering her own ass than begging for forgiveness, the crazy woman made herself scarce. Entering the clinic with an incriminating bloodstain on your pants was awkward, for a moment. But it was easy enough to explain and even earned a laugh or two from the doctors on staff.

Once you were completely certain the crazy lady had left, you scooped up your shopping bag, said goodbye to the cashier and climbed into the car.

Before you put the key in the ignition, you took a moment. You took a moment to do something you knew you shouldn't have.

You placed your hand on your belly and stroked it. "We make a pretty good team, huh?"

You didn't know why you paused. It wasn't like the fetus was going to answer.

"Sorry you had to see that." You said. "Or, I guess, hear that. I wish I could tell you that people aren't really like that in real life, but I can't. Either that or I'm just a magnet for insane people. Hope that it's not genetic."

It just occurred to you that, if your obstetrician was right, the fetus heard everything that you said about killing it. Logically speaking, you knew it wasn't developed enough to comprehend what you were saying, but you still felt like you owed it an apology.

"Hey, scamp." You said, appropriating a nickname your grandfather gave you. "I'm sorry that I talked all that shit back there. About killing you and whatnot. I don't want to kill you. I actually want you to live an amazing life."

Just then, you felt a kick. The doctor war right: there was no mistaking it. The baby kicked.

Your mouth hung dumbly open, delight and fear chasing each other around in your mind. "Holy crap!"

You drove home as fast as legally possible. You needed to get home. As you pulled into the driveway, you noticed that Hannibal's car wasn't there.

He'll be home any minute, you thought. Might as well stay out here to catch him when he arrives.

That was an hour ago. Not that you'd noticed. You would have sat in that car, talking to your baby for an eternity. It wasn't until you heard a tapping on the window did you exit your trance.

Hannibal examined the scene. The ketchup, the massive eevee and his suddenly very chatty fiancée shooting the breeze with her fetus. He smirked.

"Did we have a fun afternoon?"

[pr1ncessm00n]

for sale or wanted — jean kirstein x fem! reader

series masterlist

prev | next , part two

warnings: cursing, porco being toxic lol. dates are wrong once again sorry !!

[ playlist : love again - dua lipa ]

eight.

Half asleep and ready to go to bed, Y/N fell back into her bed. She picked up her phone, hoping to mindlessly scroll through some TikToks. Instead, she was met with two messages. Audibly gasping as she read Porco’s name, she dropped her phone, hitting herself in the face in the process. “Ow!”

Porco? Y/N thought incredulously. What the hell does he want?

Contemplating asking Ymir and Sasha for advice, Y/N then decided against it. This was her life, she couldn’t expect her friends to guide her though it. But God, was she such a coward when it came to Porco. It wasn’t like he was Prince Charming, but Y/N had an extreme loyalty complex. She couldn’t ever allow herself to let go of people. Porco used to berate her for that constantly.

Why are you so clingy? He would ask.

Who’s the clingy one now? Y/N thought bitterly. She decided to ignore Porco’s text until she could think of a reply that wasn’t along the lines of “No, fuck you.” She slid her thumb over to Jean’s message.

Great. Another text asking to talk. Why couldn’t people just send their question and save a girl the anxiety? Y/N scolded herself for allowing her egotistical ex to ruin her mood. Jean didn’t deserve her snappiness.

Jean sighed in relief. Thank God she replied. He didn’t know if he could handle the mortification if she didn’t.

Y/N pondered for a bit.

Y/N laughed quietly to herself. So Jean could in fact match her sense of humor. She exited out of their chat, mindlessly scrolling through social media. She actively avoided Porco’s message, not wanting to burden herself with the chore of responding to him. What could he possibly have to say? She headed to Twitter, hopefully finding something relatable to retweet. As Y/N scrolled, she saw a familiar face appear on her timeline.

Recommended for you from contacts, the header read. Below it was about 3 profiles of people in her contacts she had not followed yet. Among them, was Jean.

Y/N’s breath caught in her throat.

Should I? She questioned. Would she be overstepping some unspoken boundary? What if she hurt her own feelings by stalking and seeing something she wouldn’t like/had no business seeing? Maybe she should just ignore it. She doubted Jean was some internet creep… but wouldn’t it be good to know if he was? Curiosity getting the better of her, Y/N decided to invade that boundary and look at his account.

He didn’t have much content from what Y/N could see. He just retweeted fancy cars and some funny memes. She spotted Connie, Sasha’s lifelong friend and Jean’s infamous roomie. She mentally hoped Jean didn’t tweet like Connie. That would be the ultimate ick.

Y/N’s thumb stopped scrolling, hovering over a tweet. Her heart beated ten times more rapidly.

well she is pretty lol, Jean’s tweet read. Tweeted just an hour after he met Y/N.

Could it be? Y/N wondered. No way. There’s no way it’s about me. I’m just jumping to conclusions. Why would he say that about me? I’m just being self absorbed.

She brushed off her inquiries, deciding to just stop stalking his account entirely. From what she already saw, there wasn’t anything suspicious or icky enough to make her want to not interact with him. And she was already paranoid, so every tweet she saw she would begin to assume it was about her as well. She was just getting her hopes up.

Rolling over on her side, Y/N placed her phone to charge and went to sleep. It was late, which was probably what was causing her mind to become fuddled.

——

“You should’ve told me Sasha’s third roomie was Y/N,” Reiner had said to Jean in the truck. “I totally blindsided her. Top ten worst encounters of my life.”

“Uh, care to enlighten me? Do you guys have beef or something?” Jean asked, perusing the radio stations.

Reiner sighed. “She’s dating- was dating- my childhood friend, Porco.”

Jean felt his stomach drop. “Oh.”

Reiner glanced at him before stopping at a red light. “I said dating. He dumped her like a week ago. It was pretty trash.”

Jean secretly felt more at peace hearing that. Poor Y/N, but.. she could probably do better than this Porco person.

“So what does that have to do with you?” Jean asked.

Reiner shrugged. “I guess I didn’t really help. She said she felt a little betrayed. Like I agreed with Porco and my friends that she’s the crazy one.”

Jean nodded. “So you were a bystander.”

Reiner sighed again, tilting his head in an I guess motion. “It’s just hard. Porco’s like my brother, and I don’t agree with how he acted… but maybe I should have spoken up sooner.”

Jean patted his shoulder. “Don’t blame yourself, man. That was between them.”

“Yeah. I could have at least told Porco to step it up, though.” Reiner murmured.

I’m glad you didn’t. Jean snickered to himself.

“So, you think she’s cute?” Reiner shot Jean a devilish grin. Jean rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, I guess. You goin’ to Historia’s birthday?” He slyly changed the subject.

“Is it open invite?” Reiner’s eyebrows scrunched up.

Jean shrugged. “I have an invite. Maybe you can be my plus one.”

Reiner made a “Hmm” sound in response, weary at Jean’s invite. “What are you dressing as if you go?”

“I was thinking swag era Justin Bieber.” Jean replied, smiling widely.

Reiner gave him a look. “You for real?”

Jean’s smile dropped. “What?”

Reiner laughed. “I’d pay money to see how badly you embarrass yourself with that.”

“It’s a 2000’s party?” Jean was confused.

“Yeah, but everyone does like, early 2000s. Think Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake.”

Jean shot him a curious look.

“What? Pop culture is my guilty pleasure.” Reiner explained himself. “And everyone knows Britney Spears.”

Jean hummed in response. “I just think you got a thing for pop girls.” He referenced the earlier Becky G mishap.

“I’m not even gonna deny it anymore.” Reiner agreed, defeated.

——

“Guys,” Y/N said the next morning. Ymir and Sasha were at the breakfast “nook” (a corner of their miniature kitchen designated for a small table that barely fit all three of them), Sasha eating cereal and Ymir chomping on an apple while scrolling on her phone. “Porco texted me last night.”

Ymir continued scrolling, unfazed. Sasha’s eyes widened and she swallowed her food before speaking. “What? Why?” Y/N glared at Ymir.

“Thanks for your interest YMIR, but as i was telling Sasha-“

“I’m Sasha.” Sasha cut in, obviously confused.

Y/N gave Sasha a look.

“Did you say something?” Ymir said, bored. She still hadn’t looked up from her phone.

“Ymir!” Sasha scolded. “Y/N’s telling us Porco texted her!”

“Who’s Porco?” Ymir replied, monotonous.

Y/N sighed in exasperation. “Are you stalking Eren again? I already told you to stop comparing your subscribers-“

“I’m not stalking Eren!” Ymir snapped defensively. “I’m…” She mumbled the next part incoherently.

“Huh?” Sasha and Y/N asked in unison.

“I SAID,” Ymir repeated, annoyed. “I’m looking up Britney Spears outfits. Historia wanted us to go as different eras of her. But I can’t find anything that matches my style.” She grumbled.

Y/N’s heart melted. It was adorable watching Ymir struggle to find a matching costume for Historia. It was like Marilyn Manson wanting to get along with a CareBear.

“Just go as JT,” Sasha said, chewing her cereal.

“One, close your mouth, and two, Historia asked for us to go as Brittney. I can’t just show up like a dude.” Ymir visibly deflated as she scrolled through countless pictures of a younger Spear’s iconic looks.

“Why don’t you try her bandanna phase? That wasn’t so over the top, and she wore mostly jeans.” Y/N suggested as she squeezed into the corner chair.

Ymir sighed. “I don’t want to wear a skirt or some bimbo shit. That’s y’alls look.”

“How do you manage to sound endearing trying to please your girlfriend while simultaneously insulting us?” Y/N wondered aloud.

“It’s a talent.” Ymir waved her off. “What did you guys get her though?”

“A giftcard to Urban Outfitters,” Sasha replied. “I got tired of searchin’. I put $50 on it. I think that should be enough for like, a shirt and a half. She better like it, too. ‘Cus I’m broke.” Sasha pointed her spoon at Ymir accusingly.

“I got her the Taylor Swift vinyl she’s been wanting. And some pink film for her camera.” Y/N added. Ymir nodded approvingly.

“I hope she likes my gift. I don’t know if I’m moving too fast though?” For the first time since Y/N mer Ymir, Y/N hadn’t ever seen her this distraught.

“Calm down,” Y/N reassured her. “You’ve been together for years now. I don’t think you can move any slower.”

Ymir rolled her eyes, leaning back im her chair with arms crossed. “It’s a small trip to Seoul. I know she’s been dying to go. It’s not like it’s anything she hasn’t seen before with her family… but I figure it’d be different with just us.” Y/N’s heart melted.

“That’s so sweet!” Sasha exclaimed, eyes watery. “I want an Ymir!”

“Well, you can’t have me!” Ymir laughed. “It’s not a big deal. The sponsorship I managed to land gave me a decent payout.” Ymir sheepishly replied, her cheeks a faint red

Y/N nudged her. “Look at you, being modest.”

Ymir waved her hand. “Shut up. How does this look?” She turned her phone to Y/N, showing a picture of Britney Spears clad in low waist jeans, a black tank top and sure enough, a yellow bandanna.

“That’s perfect.”

Ymir smirked, smug. “Just like me.”

“Y/N!” Sasha shouted. “Go back to the Porco thing!”

“Oh, yeah. What did Oinky want?” The girls turned to face Y/N, who shrank a bit back in her seat.

“That’s a new one,” Y/N chuckled. “I thought of one last night, too,” She paued for dramatic effect. “Porker!” She gasped out, giggling, hitting the table in a slight fit of laughter. Sasha and Ymir gave Y/N a blank stare, unamused at Y/N’s mediocre roast.

“Not funny, didn’t laugh.” Sasha spat.

“If your career was stand up you’d be living in a box.” Ymir deadpanned.

“Tough crowd,” Y/N sighed, wiping imaginary tears from her eyes. “But if you must know…” She purposely stalled a bit, knowing it would send an impatient, jittery Sasha over the edge and annoy Ymir even more, even if she pretended she was not interested in the relationship drama between Y/N and her disgraced ex.

“Just say it already!” Sasha begged.

“I…don’t know. I haven’t responded.” Y/N finally admitted, putting her head in her hands. “I just-“ Her words were muffled by her hands.

Ymir removed her hands from her face. “Your words, darling.” She scolded, voice oozing sarcasm.

“Ugh,” Y/N groaned. “I’m too pussy to respond. He just asked if we could talk. What could he possibly want? What if he wants the couch? It’s just too much.”

Sasha gave her a sympathetic gaze. “Just leave him on read! If he wants to talk so badly he’ll find a way to say what he needs to.”

“For once, I agree.” Ymir added.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right.” Y/N stretched. “But it did keep me up at night wondering what he wanted.”

“Y/N, forget him! Historia’s party is soon, there’s no time to worry about ugly men!” Sasha stood up, rushing to put her bowl in the sink. “I got a lecture in a few, but you need to find your costume! We’re all going as Britney!” She said before disappearing into her room.

“Um, who’s gonna tell her we’re not all dressing as Britney?” Ymir inquired.

Y/N snorted. “Not I. I’m probably going as Suki from Fast and the Furious.”

“Niiceee,” Ymir fist pumped Y/N. “She was my sexual awakening.” Y/N choked on her muffin.

“Ymir, what’d we say about uncalled for horniness?” Y/N reprimanded. Ymir made her way to the coat rack, searching for her car keys in her leather jacket’s pocket.

“If I was gonna be chewed out for liking women I would’ve lived with my parents!” Ymir called out. “I gotta pick up Historia!”

“Will you be back?” Y/N shouted back.

“Get off my dick!” Ymir shut the door. Laughing to herself, Y/N picked up Ymir’s dish to place in the sink. She was, out of the three, the more tidier one. Ymir did the best cleaning, but she was selectively lazy.

“Bye, Y/N!” Sasha shouted before leaving in a rush. One thing Y/N had grown used to was the fairly chaotic mornings. She secretly hoped they would be like this for a long time.

Since Y/N had transferred, Ymir and Sasha had been the best roommates she could ask for. Yes, Ymir was snappy and Sasha was a bit ditzy, but it was the perfect combination and they were respectful. Y/N had transferred from Sina University purely for academic reasons, but she had not expected to fit in so well with the girls or their group of pre establish friends. She worried she would not fit in since they had already been so tight-knit, but found that wasn’t the case at all. They were open, accepting and loyal. Y/N couldn’t be happier where she was, and even though she wouldn’t admit it, she was grateful for how close they had all gotten in their short time together. Who knew randomly assigned rooming would provide her with friendship to last a lifetime?

Which is why every time she thought about Porco she kicked herself. How could she have let some… meathead ruin her freshmen year of college? She should have been having fun, interacting with Ymir and Sasha’s friends more, lived her own life. But no, she chose to become involved with a self absorbed fraternity guy of all people. Now she was semi-heartbroken, extremely humiliated, and about a year’s worth of time and effort short. She had allowed him to take advantage of her so much, that he felt he could contact her still after basically using her. The thought made her want to rip her hair out and scream.

Almost as if through divine intervention, her phone beeped with a notification.

What the actual hell? Y/N thought.

She froze for a second. What does she do? Respond? Ignore? Block?

After a few seconds of mental deliberation, Y/N finally decided. She was fed up with the lack of bravery she showed and decided to just end it once and for all. Typing out a response, she clicked send and decided to go to the mall for the retail therapy she was sure to need after whatever Porco said what he wanted to say. Turning the shower on, she braced herself for his response. What could Porco want? She couldn’t wrap her mind around it.

This better be good, Y/N thought.

taglist : @tsunderehokage @lagrimasdeglitter @snowyseungs @mukeovernetflix @bakugouswh0r3 @punicorn999 @deadlyaffairs @usernamehere91 @calumsfringe

a/n: woohoo!! long chapter. so to recap: i graduated!! i am finally free from the clutches of high school. i might do a face reveal :) bc i loved my grad dress. anywho, my fever cleared up, i have chapter 9 already completed (just need to revise + edit) and this is NOT proof read!! it’s 2 am guys i’m tired. but i hope you enjoyed this :) sorry for the weird cropping too. peace out

[shyficwriter]

I've Got You

Guardians of the Galaxy Fanfic | Reader x Guardians (Yondu is alive)

Summary: After you never let anyone else listen to your music Rocket and the guys decide they want to see what potentially embarrassing songs you have on your music player, but find something else entirely.

Author's Note: ANGST! This story does NOT have a happy ending, or an ending at all really. It may be funny at the start but it's all angst at the end and it'll make you cry. Proceed with caution. This isn't even a joke- it gets heavy. I was going through some stuff... If you think this might trigger anything for you at all, skip this one.

Content Warning: Mentions of suicide/depression.

Word Count: 2,508

You didn't mind sharing with the rest of the gang. You really didn't. You'd share your clothes with Mantis, your food with Groot, and your books with Drax. There was very little you didn't share, except for one thing, and that was your music player.

Anytime someone would occasionally ask to borrow it you would always make up an excuse, usually: "Nah, you wouldn't like my music." and that was usually that for a little while. But, of course, eventually someone would ask again and you'd have to make the same excuses over again. Once you even told Peter it was all accordion music so he'd stop asking to compare playlists. That worked for a bit, until a week later you forgot you had told him that and said how much you hated accordion music when the topic of Polka was brought up. Oops. Well, there went that excuse.

One day was different, however.

You were walking in Peter's ship, minding your own business with your headphones in when Rocket motioned to you. He was sitting at a table with Groot. You paused your player and removed one of your earbuds. "What's up?"

"Groot was trying to ask if he could listen with you. but of course you had your volume up like always."

"You're going to damage your hearing if you keep that up," said Gamora, sitting on the other side of the room with Drax.

You ignored her, turning your attention back to Rocket. "Oh. I don't think that's a good idea.." you said with a wince, feeling bad for having to tell the little guy 'no.' Other than Mantis, he was the one you always felt the most guilty saying 'no' to. Those puppy-dog eyes were killer.

Rocket eyed you suspiciously. "Why? Quill lets him do it all the time?"

He was right. Peter did let little Groot listen to music with him quite often. But you weren't Peter.

Peter startled you when he came up from behind you with Yondu, saying, "Yeah, you're weirdly possessive of that thing. It won't hurt to let him have a listen."

'It might.' you thought. "He might be better off listening to your music, we already know he likes that."

"What's wrong with yers?" Yondu asked, who agreed with Peter about the weirdly possessive thing. You barely ever let that thing out of your sight.

You tried to think of something, "It's uh, not really appropriate..."

Yondu chuckled, "Are ya trying to say ya have dirty songs on that player of yers?"

You blushed. That's not exactly where you were going with that, but if it works... "I'd just say my music isn't exactly, uh.. kid friendly."

Your blush only made it more convincing that this whole time you had been hiding embarrassing music on your device. Rocket raised an eyebrow in amusement and Peter laughed too. "There's no way I'm gonna believe you have dirty songs on there. Let me see." he said, moving to reach for your music player.

You quickly put it in your pocket. "Nope! Bye." you said, turning on your heels and making your way to leave the ship, glad you were docked on a planet as it gave you an escape. "Gonna go head out for a walk, be back soon!"

Peter looked slightly disappointed, but let you go.

Once you were gone Rocket spoke up. "You know, I think I know a way how we can sneak a listen to what she's got that's so secret on there," he said, smirking. "Ya know, if you want..."

Yondu and Peter shared a glance before looking over at Gamora, sure she'd reject the idea in favor of your privacy. Surprisingly, she nodded in agreement.

"I have to admit, now I'm curious too." Gamora said with an almost embarrassed shrug.

And with that it was settled. Rocket told them his plan.

***

The next day when you went to retrieve your music player from your nightstand drawer, it was there as expected. However, when you went to power it on nothing happened.

You groaned, walking out into the common area to look for Peter. Once you found him you asked if he had any spare batteries, only to be disappointed when he didn't.

"Although," Peter said, "If you're gonna walk down to the store to get some I'll transfer you some units to bring back a case of soda."

You agreed to bring him back some soda, but told him not to worry about the units as you headed out the door, having been convinced to take little Groot with you last minute. You never could resist those little eyes of his.

The team waited a few moments to make sure you weren't coming back for anything before telling Rocket to make his hasty trip to go get your music player from your room.

Your batteries hadn't died, Rocket had just quietly replaced them with dead ones while you were sleeping. He switched them back once he got back to where the rest of the team had gathered around the table.

Rocket grinned, thinking he was about to hit the jackpot on embarrassing secrets from you. "What do ya think it is?" he asked, handing the player to Peter. "I bet it's boy-bands."

Peter powered on the player and snickered. "What if it's that Justin Bieber guy that was always on the radio when we went to Terra?"

"Oh, he was awful. I would also be embarrassed to be caught willfully listening to his music." Drax said.

"I dunno, I still kinda think she's got dirty songs on there," Yondu laughed. "Ya saw how she blushed."

Peter rolled his eyes and began scrolling through your playlists. He raised an eyebrow. "I hardly recognize any of these songs." he said. "The only ones I recognize are ones I've already got on mine."

"Let me see," offered Kraglin. "I know more Xandarian songs, maybe they're some of those?" He scrolled for a bit before as Peter got up to grab something from a trunk behind him.

Peter sat back down and Kraglin handed the player back, shaking his head. "I don't recognize them either. Maybe they're Terran?"

"We'll see." Peter said, plopping the device he got from the trunk on the table and plugging it into the player. It was a speaker. "Here, now we can all hear it. Which one should I try first?"

"What's in her 'Recent's' list?" Gamora asked.

"First one says "Stay Alive," Peter says, "Oh! I actually think I know that one. My grandad used to listen to it, it's so old!" he laughed. "I didn't expect her to be into disco music though..." Peter hit play and as the lyrics came out he realized he was mistaken. "Oh... that's... That's not the song I thought it was at all..." he said in surprised concern.

♫♩"... Stay alive, stay alive For better days to come around.

When nothing is right in your head And all of your tears are shed I know how it seems, you're in this too deep But take it from me, it's not the end..." ♫♩

"Um..." Peter swiped to play a new, hopefully less depressing, song.

♫♩"Do you ever feel like breaking down? Do you ever feel out of place?" ♫♩

Nope. Peter swiped again.

♫♩"All day starin' at the ceilin' makin' Friends with shadows on my wall All night hearing voices tellin' me That I should get some sleep Because tomorrow might be good for somethin' Hold on, feelin' like I'm headed for a breakdown And I don't know why" ♫♩

Peter furrowed his brow. The others shared concerned glances, but didn't say anything. He swiped again.

♫♩"It's caving in around me What I thought was solid ground I tried to look the other way But I couldn't turn around" ♫♩

*Swipe*

♫♩"Hello darkness my old friend..." ♫♩

Peter could already tell it was another depressing song, he backed out of the screen into the list of recently played songs seeing titles like: "Nightmare," and "I'm not okay (I promise)," and unfortunately more bluntly: "Don't try Suicide." They listened to a few more songs, and they were all depressing. You did have happier songs on your music player, but your "Recents" list was full of much more depressing songs, as if that's all you had listened to for a long time.

Nobody was smiling anymore, Rocket looked like he was sorry he came up with this idea. Even Drax clearly understood that they hadn't discovered anything good.

Yondu's expression was hard, "Well, I don't like this at all."

"I think we made a mistake." Mantis said, concern painting her features.

"But... she always seems so... ok?" Rocket said, his ears lowered. You were his friend. His prank buddy. He had no idea. "Do you really think...she, you know...?"

"I don't know? I mean, do you think she'd really not say anything if she was hurting this much? Wouldn't Mantis at least have picked up on it?" Peter asked. He looked over at Mantis expectantly.

"I can only feel other's emotions if I touch them," she started, "and... she's never actually let me touch her."

"What should we do?" asked Gamora.

***

You walked in a few minutes later to just catch the last bit of Peter saying something about having a talk with you.

"Have a talk with me about what?" you asked.

It was clear you had startled them, Gamora having spun to face you upon hearing you speak up, and she almost never got startled.

You chuckled, walking nearer the table to place your grocery sack on it. Groot hopped off your shoulder to run across the table to Rocket. "Oh gosh, I didn't mean to scare you guys! I got the soda you asked for- ...what's that?" Your demeanor changed from almost cheery to nervous, the blood draining from your face when you saw what was very clearly your music player plugged into a speaker. Your eyes shot to Peter, the one closest to your device. "Peter? What the fuck?"

"It was Rocket's idea!" Peter exclaimed, his guilt having managed to trip his self-preservation switch.

Rocket didn't even try to deny it. He looked at the ground, "I thought it'd be funny..." he muttered. Groot looked at him in confusion. His friend usually never looked sorry for anything.

You snatch your player from the table. It was currently off, leading you to believe there might have been a chance they didn't listen yet. "Boundaries!" you scold, putting the player in your pocket. "Seriously uncool!"

You went to turn around but you bumped into Yondu who had walked around the table while you were scolding Peter.

"Sit." he said, his face stony.

You look up at him in surprise before Gamora spoke up. "We... listened to the songs you had on your player... We just want to talk."

You just stare at her for a moment. "Seriously guys, what the fuck?!" you say, your tone exasperated and your eyebrows knitted together. "You know what? No. I don't want to talk. I'm going back out."

Yondu grabbed your arm as you tried to push past him. "No. Yer gonna sit." with that he walked you to the nearest open chair and made you sit. His tone wasn't angry, but it was firm.

You felt knots tying in your stomach. Gamora spoke again.

"Look, we're sorry we took your music player without asking, but now that we have, we're concerned."

You pinch the bridge of your nose. No. No no no. "I literally told you guys so many times-"

"I know," Peter said, "but please... Just- we need to know if you're ok."

"Of course I'm ok!" you lied. "Why would I not be ok?!"

"Cut the crap." Kraglin said. His tone didn't seem angry either, it almost seemed sad. "I seriously doubt you'd be listening to all that depressing stuff if you were actually ok."

You attempt to stand again, saying, "Look just screw off-" before you were silenced by Yondu firmly pushing down on your shoulder to stop you.

"Look, we care about ya, ya lil' shit, and we ain't about to just let ya keep suffering if yer hurtin."

That tore something in you.

"Please- guys." You clenched your jaw and looked at the floor. No. Fuck. Not right now. "Just-" You inhaled sharply. Dammit. You were not about to start crying right now. You screwed your eyes shut, before covering your face when you realized that wasn't going to stop the tears and not wanting them to see. "Fuck!"

It all flooded you. All the hurt. All the pain. The hopelessness. The humiliation of the current situation. The guilt of your friends worrying about you. The numbness shattering as white hot pain tore through your soul. You felt what you thought was Gamora putting a comforting hand on your shoulder and you tried to hold back a sob as every bad thought you had about yourself came flooding in. You started to shake, feeling shame as memories of thoughts about ending it all leaked out your eyes. How many nights you had stood in front of the airlock weighing whether that night would finally be the night you pushed that button.

From behind you you heard a strangled cry. A cry of pure anguish. It was only then you realized the hand on your shoulder couldn't have been Gamora's. It had come from behind you. She had been standing in front of you. You quickly jerk forward and turn around in your seat, wrenching yourself from Mantis's hand- but it was too late.

Mantis nearly doubled over, hands clawed into her chest as a sob lodged itself in her lungs. She had only wanted to make you feel better. She wasn't expecting the torrent to flood into her so forcefully, hadn't realized this wasn't something she could just make go away with her abilities. She had felt everything.

The others looked at her with wide, startled eyes. Drax pulled her in and held her, not really knowing what to do but trying to make the hurt go away. Poor little Groot didn't understand what was happening, and Rocket held him so he couldn't see. Peter and Gamora shared an alarmed glance.

You were speechless. You could only stare in horror witnessing what you- or rather your pain- had done to her. "Mantis-" was all you could manage, not knowing what else to say. You barely noticed your tears now started flowing freely down your cheeks. You stood up to run away, but just like every other time you had tried, Yondu stopped you. Only this time he pulled you tightly to his chest, his hand cradling the back of your head as if you were a newborn.

"Girl, why didn't you tell us?" you heard him say softly.

You allowed yourself to be held, not realizing until that very moment just how badly you had needed to be. Fresh sobs broke from you and you buried your face into his chest when he said, "Shh now, little girl, I've got you."

[theasstour]

𝐅𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐬.

𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓: 𝟏𝟎.𝟏𝐤 𝐍𝐁: 𝐚𝐥𝐜𝐨𝐡𝐨𝐥, 𝐚𝐧𝐱𝐢𝐞𝐭𝐲 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐞𝐫, 𝐛𝐨𝐝𝐲 𝐢𝐦𝐚𝐠𝐞, 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐥𝐢𝐜𝐢𝐭 𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐮𝐚𝐠𝐞, 𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐬𝐞𝐱𝐮𝐚𝐥 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭

Monday, 25 September 2017

It was strange to Y/N that she was enjoying herself as much as she was just then in an educational setting. In school, she had never really liked any of the subjects besides English, and here at uni, she got to sit and listen to professors who were truly experts on English literature ramble on about Othello and specific analysis on act 3 scene 3. She loved every single second of it, and was sure she could sit there for hours on end just listening to her professors. At one point she was sure this would all get tiring and she’d hate University, but in that moment, hearing her professor, Richard, talk about things that truly interested her, was such a breath of fresh air compared to what she had experienced previously.

The door to the lecture hall opened, and since the doors were right by the blackboard where Richard stood talking about Othello and the ‘temptation’ scene, all eyes landed on the blonde girl in pink shorts and a white jumper. She smiled at Richard, mouthing a “sorry” before taking the first free seat she could find, which was conveniently right beside Y/N. The two girls shared a small smile themselves before Y/N went back to focusing on the lecture happening in front of her. Y/N was hunched over her notebook, writing something off from the PowerPoint slide displayed on the wall in front of her. She did not know how much time went by, she was listening too intently to care about that, but suddenly, the blonde beside her rested her back against the seat and leaned a little closer to Y/N.

“This is quite boring, innit?”

Y/N looked to her left, and to her surprise, realised that the girl who had walked in late was Chloe. The same Chloe who she had met when she registered a week and some ago. She must have been too caught up in the lecture to pay proper attention to her surroundings.

Chloe let out a small chuckle, nodding in the direction of the PowerPoint before she continued to whisper. “The lecture. I knew we’d be discussing Shakespeare in Introduction to English Studies, but Othello’s just fucking boring, innit?”

“I…” Y/N looked at the PowerPoint for a few seconds, then back at Chloe. “Sure.”

They were quiet for a few seconds, Chloe just studying Y/N, eyes searching her face. “You like Othello.”

Y/N felt a sudden urge to relate to Chloe. Since they had met earlier and since she hadn’t made tons of friends on her course yet, she wanted Chloe to be her mate. If they got off on the wrong foot today, they might never sit next to each other again.

“It’s not as good as Twelfth Night, not as bad as Julius Caesar.”

Chloe continued to just look at Y/N, but suddenly, a smile came creeping over her lips. “Take it you like Shakespeare.”

“I like analysing his work, yeah.”

“More of a Modernism, and sometimes Postmodernism, girl myself.”

“I’m not big on either of those.”

Chloe let out a small chuckle again. “You won’t be taking Postmodernism next year then?”

“Not if I can help it.”

Chloe only crossed her arms and stared ahead, still smiling. For a second Y/N was afraid she might have said something to make Chloe detest her, but the next, she reminded herself that she had to live her truth regardless of what anyone said about it. “Guess we’ll just have to enjoy each other’s company in the core modules then.”

Y/N felt a few butterflies in her stomach at that and could not help smiling back at Chloe when their eyes met again.

“How come I haven’t seen you at any Freshers parties yet?” Chloe asked.

“Been busy applying to jobs and such,” Y/N explained. “Gotta get one as fast as possible ‘cause I need money to live.”

“Ahh, fair.” Chloe nodded. “One of my course mates, Hayden – think they’re up there somewhere –“ Chloe pointed with her thumb over her shoulder, indicating further up the lecture hall. “Has decided they’re going to start an Uno society.”

“Uno?” Y/N frowned. “As in the card game?”

“Yeah,” Chloe laughed. “I’m sure it’ll be nice and all, but they’re very passionate about it. Have yet to come out with me, Thian, and Annalise. Those are my other course mates, by the way.”

Y/N nodded. Was she just incompetent at making friends or was Chloe just very good at it? How had she made so many friends, made a small group by the sounds of it, and Y/N had barely talked to anyone on her course yet?

“Hayden promised to come out this Friday, though,” Chloe smiled. “You should come, too.”

For some reason, both nerves and excitement rushed through Y/N at that. She smiled back. “I’d love that.”

“Wicked. It’s at my Dinwiddy flat.” Chloe rolled her eyes. “Uni accommodation at Helmond is a huge piss take, I tell you. I feel like there’s mould everywhere.”

“That’s just UK houses in general. We’ll all die from it one day.”

“It’s literally disgusting,” Chloe said. “Also, one of my flatmates never does his dishes. It’s minging. And it’s started smelling, too.”

“Oh, my days.”

“Yeah.”

“I’m glad I just immediately moved in with my best mate instead of going through the whole uni accommodation thing. At least I can be assured that they do their dishes and no food’s left on the kitchen counter for too long.”

“Oh, that sounds lush.”

The people around Y/N and Chloe were all starting to pack their things and get out of their seats. Seeing as the two of them were sat by the edge of the row, they had to get up rather fast and let people through. So, that’s what they did. Y/N put her notebook and pencil case in her rucksack and slung it onto her back before she and Chloe made their way out of the lecture hall and out into the hallway beyond.

“There they are,” Chloe grinned, waving as she saw a small group of three standing by the wall a bit further down. “Come say hi.” Though Chloe wasn’t looking at her, Y/N assumed she was talking to her, so she followed her over to the rest. “Gang, this is Y/N, the one I met while we were both registering.”

“Ah, you’ll be Y/N, then,” a man with protruding cheekbones, a strong jawline, and deep set, brown eyes said. The Viet man’s smile lit up the room they were standing in, and it made Y/N’s overthinking ebb. “I’m Thian, pleasure to meet you. Chloe told us she met you, but never saw you since.”

“Proper rude of the universe to keep us away from each other for so long,” Chloe said.

“I’m Hayden,” a smaller person said with the greenest eyes and long brown hair. They too had a smile like Thian’s, but this one displayed crooked teeth, which made Y/N more at ease with her own bottom teeth that were the same.

“And I’m Annalise,” the last one said, her hair dyed an unnatural dark red colour that Y/N absolutely loved. “I think I saw you in a Critical Reading seminar.”

“Oh, yeah, I think we might be.”

“We’ll have to sit next to each other next time!”

Y/N could detect a slight accent, but she could not tell where Annalise was originally from. She suspected Germany, there were tons of international students here after all, but Y/N did not want to assume.

“Guys, we have to plan the first Uno society meeting,” Hayden said, looking at the time on their phone. “It was so nice to meet you, Y/N, but we’re in a bit of a hurry.”

She just smiled. “No, totes get that. I need to get back to my flat, anyway.”

“See you around, then,” Chloe smiled, waving as the four of them walked off.

Y/N walked home to Orsman Road. Though she knew there would be less walking if they took the tube, it would also mean that she had to walk on and off boiling hot tube trains and stations, and she was not about to do that. She was sweating enough in the late September sun as it was, she did not need the tube to contribute to her sweat moustache as well. Instead, she plugged her earbuds in and listened to her most recent playlist on Spotify, humming along to her favourite tunes as she walked.

She stopped by Gregg’s by Dalston Kingsland station, buying herself a sausage roll and an iced latte before walking the rest of the stretch home. Hackney bustled around her, with tons of cars, double deckers, and mopeds driving by, as well as all types of people milling to and from work. The early autumn sun was still a little too hot, but it seemed like most Londoners were soaking up the sun while they could. They were walking by in shorts, tee shirts, and summer dresses, while the only reason why Y/N was dressed in her tee shirt and trousers, was so she would not quite literally go up in flames on the way home.

Y/N arrived at Orsman Road not long after her trip to Gregg’s, and walked up to the flat. She locked the door once she was indoors, checking the kitchen and the living room to see if anyone was there. To no one’s surprise, none of her three other student flatmates were home in the middle of the day on a Monday. She walked up the stairs and to her room, letting her door be open so she could air out a bit more. Her windows had been open all day, so her room smelled fresher than normal as she entered. That just reminded her that she had to buy some scented candles or air fresheners to liven up her room.

Putting her rucksack down by her door, Y/N started looking through the two bags that she had yet to pack out from. In one was most of the stuff she’d put on her desk when she finally bought that, and in the other were loads of decorations that she had yet to bring forth. She started pulling out fairylights that she wanted to hang across her room or over her wall, when she heard footsteps. Out of the door directly to the right once you came up the stairs, came a man with short dark hair and a strong build, thin lips and pale skin. He must have heard movements outside his door, because his eyes landed on Y/N almost right away. However, he smiled at her and Y/N immediately knew who this was.

“You’re Y/N, then,” Mason said, walking over to stand in the doorway of her room. “Mason, your third flatmate.”

“Thought I’d never run into you,” Y/N smiled, making his smile grow.

“Yeah, got here like two days ago, and have been all over the place since. Helped some of my mates move into their flats, been at work, and at rugby practice.”

She nodded. “Busy man.”

“Very busy.”

“Lucky I caught you now, then.”

Mason nodded his head. “Would have eventually. Knowing Nath, he’ll probably end up forcing us all to bond as a flat at one point.”

“Sounds horrific.”

“It was. It will be,” Mason laughed, leaning against the doorframe and pushing his hands into his grey joggers.

Y/N furrowed her brows. “It was? He’s done it before?”

“Yeah, our first year. He made everyone in our flat bond, he especially talked about flat yoga sessions and shopping trips when he was drunk or high as a kite.”

She dropped the fairylights and turned her full attention on Mason. “You lived together your first year?”

Mason just looked at Y/N, blinking a few times. “Yeah.”

“All three of you?”

“All three of us. Me, Nathan, Harry, and like five girls.”

Y/N felt like screaming, but lucky for her dignity and Mason’s ears, the front door opened and closed. Nathan’s singing could be heard all the way upstairs. Instead of screaming, Y/N called Nathan’s name, not caring that Mason saw just how annoyed she was now. Poor bloke had no idea what he’d just said. Nathan strolled up the stairs and looked in Y/N’s room’s direction, his face lit up at the sight of Mason and Y/N together.

“What a view!” he grinned. “What’re you two bonding over?”

“Right now we’re bonding over being your friend,” Y/N said.

“Which I’m sure you’re both honoured to be, yes.”

“And I just heard you’ve lived with Mason and Harry for the last year, but have not told me,” Y/N said, ignoring Nathan’s previous comment.

Nathan looked to Mason, and then back at Y/N. “No, Harry moved in later. He lived in another flat first, hated it, and since him and Mason were good mates, he got to move into our place since one of our flatmates dropped out our first week.”

Not caring that she would smudge her makeup, Y/N ran her hands over her face. “How long did he live there, Nate?”

Silence for a second or two. “Start of second semester till we moved out.”

Y/N let go of a heavy sigh. “Nathan, why didn’t you just tell me?-“

“-I know, I know, I know,” Nathan started, walking into Y/N’s room and sitting down on the floor beside her. “I’m a shite friend.”

“You really fucking are,” Y/N said, swatting Nathan’s hand away when he tried to take hers. “Harry was both of our friend when he lived in Notts those months, and I literally had sex with him.”

Mason took a small step back in pure shock, blinking rapidly as if an eyelash fell onto his eye.

“Don’t I have a right to know you’re living with him?” Y/N asked.

“You do. Of course, you do. I just… I thought I told you at one point, and when I got home and I found out I hadn’t told you… I didn’t know how to break the news.”

“How about just telling me?” Y/N shrugged her shoulders. “Instead of hiding it from me like that.”

“Technically, I didn’t hide anything ‘cause I thought I-“

“-Nathan, I’ll literally skin you alive-“

“-Fine, I should have told you,” he groaned, taking her hand this time and holding it tight in his. “How can I make it up to you?”

Y/N thought for a moment, but came up with the perfect solution. “By coming with me when I go out with my course mates on Friday?”

Nathan just looked at her, blinking once. “My punishment is to… go out with you and your mates?”

“Yes. I barely know them, I need moral support. No matter how bad the person giving me said support actually is.”

Nathan looked down at their hands, patting hers slightly. “I’ll come.”

“Thanks.”

He continued to look down at their hands as Mason’s quiet footsteps back to his room sounded throughout the first floor. “I do have a lecture that finishes at 7pm-“

“-You’ll skip that lecture if you so have to.-”

“-Yes, ma’am,” Nathan answered without hesitation, kissing her hand and getting up from the floor. He gave her a small smile. “And I’m sorry. I know I should’ve told you.”

Y/N nodded. “Is there… Is there more you haven’t told me? In regards to Harry?”

Nathan pretended to think for a few seconds, eyes getting big as if he remembered something.

“Nath?”

He chuckled. “No, nothing.”

Y/N hit him on his calf before he walked away. “You’re bloody buying the first round of drinks on Friday.”

“As I should,” was all Nathan said before he danced off to his room. Y/N picked up her fairylights again, trying to get them out of the messy tangle they were currently in so she could finally make this room look like her and her new home.

Friday, 29 September 2017

Y/N was nervous. She was usually nervous before going someplace she had never been before, or to meet people she had never met, but it was never like this. Her nerves were almost always drowned by her natural eagerness to be around people, to be surrounded by friends and strangers. However, this, her first pre-drinks at uni with other people, had her feeling a little too nervous for her own tastes.

She loved parties. Fuck, if she could party every single day, she would. She did not care about the hangover that came the following day, as long as she had a good time the night before. At home in Nottingham, she would have loved to party as much as she had in London, but for some reason, meeting as many new people as she had, made her nervous for some reason. It was weird to Y/N because she loved making friends, but it was different here. She had yet to figure out what about University that triggered this reaction out of her.

A knock sounded at her door and she grunted, which Nathan took as a good enough sign for him to be allowed entrance. He grinned, sitting down on Y/N’s fluffy dark blue duvet cover and looked his best friend up and down.

“Lush,” he said.

Y/N glanced at the mirror in front of her again, running her hands down her sides. Her black ruched detail ribbed crop top fit her perfectly, making her tits look exceptionally good, and the gold necklace and earrings topped it all off. The crop jeans in light wash blue were tightened at the waist by a black belt with silver eyelets, the black lace up boots made her almost as tall as Nathan. Though Y/N had been out on town in Nottingham with this very same outfit, she was unsure about it now. There was a familiar fear in the back of her head; one that had not visited in a while, one that would lay low until it saw fit to paralyse her. Y/N was experiencing only the tip of the iceberg now. The rest would reveal itself later, it would all melt and drown her in nervous ticks and anxious tendencies.

God, she hated how nervous she was. This was not like her at all. Nathan knew this, which was why he picked up on how unusually quiet his best friend was. He got up from where he was seated on the bed, walking over to Y/N and placing his hands on her shoulders.

“What’s up?”

She took a deep breath, looking at him in the mirror. “You remember the party at Jack Lloyd’s?”

“When we were 17?”

“Yeah, and I was nervous to wear that tight-fitting dress? ‘Cause of my stomach?”

“Yes, even though you had no reason to be nervous.”

She sighed. “Well, I’m feeling like that now,” she admitted. “Not as intensely, but it’s there and… I haven’t felt this nervous about being seen in a long time.”

“What do you mean ‘being seen’?”

“When… When you’ve had and still have a hard time accepting yourself, it’s hard to let others look at your body ‘cause you don’t want to exist outside your own head, if that makes sense? Being seen means people will have an opinion, it means they’ll piece together this image of you before even getting to know you. It means them judging you on your looks alone before they get to actually know you.” Y/N shrugged her shoulders a little, Nathan squeezing them ever so slightly. “My confidence is much better now, but I still have those moments every so often when that 17-year-old girl I used to be will come back and whisper something discouraging into my ear.”

Nathan nodded, wrapping his arms around her neck and bringing her to him. She melted into her best friend, taking a grip of his forearms. “I know it’s much easier said than done, but focus on now. You’ve come so far, and though that 17-year-old is part of the reason why you are who you are today, she’s got nothing to do here. 19-year-old Y/N has come so far, she has no time revisiting the past ‘cause she’s going to a party tonight, and it’ll be fucking fantastic, yeah?”

Y/N chuckled, closing her eyes as Nathan planted an encouraging kiss to her cheek. “Guess you’re right.”

“Of course I fucking am.”

She laughed.

“Now, get your vodka, tequila, sourz, or whatever the fuck you’re drinking, and let’s go.” Nathan let go of her and walked to the door, opening it. “You got Chloe’s address?”

“Yeah, it’s Dinwiddy, flat 10.”

“Uni accommodation?”

Y/N huffed, reaching for her purse and putting it over her shoulder. “Did you expect my first-year mates to live anywhere else?”

“Not really. Dunno why I’m shocked.”

Y/N searched through her purse, checking she had everything she needed before reaching for her plastic bag where her drinks were.

“Still remember when I lived in Coopers Court with Harry and Mason. Oh, how time flies.”

Y/N stopped short, narrowing her eyes. “I still cannot believe you didn’t tell me anything about you living in the same flat as Harry your first year at uni.”

Nathan sighed.

“Cannot believe you didn’t tell me he went to Helmond. Cannot believe you wanted us to live together without at least informing me-“

“-Mate, are we done with this?”

“Don’t think I’ll ever be done. You tricked me into this.”

“I did not.”

“What did you think was gonna happen when I found out?”

“We’ve been over this,” Nathan said. “I didn’t think it’d be that big of a deal. Harry did not react like this when I told him I promised to live with you my second year, your first year.”

Y/N rolled her eyes, having already heard this.

“In fact, he did not mind one bit living with you.”

“I mind living with him.”

“Clearly, or else we wouldn’t still be having this conversation.”

Y/N tutted, walking past Nathan and down the stairs. “I’ll let this argument be for the time being, but expect me to pick it back up again tomorrow when my mind’s not all over the place. I want to be able to fucking destroy you.”

“Great. Can’t wait.”

Y/N and Nathan started walking in the direction of Dinwiddy, the biggest uni accommodation at Helmond, where most students ended up staying. Parmiter Street was a mere 30-minute walk away, and though they could have easily taken the tube, they both knew that it would be best for them to get some fresh air before drinking. Y/N also wanted to walk off some of her anxiety, though she was fairly certain that would not happen. On one hand she was looking forward to meeting Chloe and the rest of her English Lit gang, on the other, she was nervous. Her nerves came more from fear of experiencing the same blinding anxiety she had when she was younger, for that same feeling of helplessness and bottomlessness that it had brought her. What if it appeared when she was drinking? What if it got worse as she got drunk?

She hated how moving away to London and to University had brought her so much doubt. It was like she had to figure out who she was all over again. Here, it was only Nathan who knew her. Well… him and Harry, but the latter did not count. If Y/N so wanted, she could become a new version of herself. She knew that was something uni offered; finding a new you and shaping it into a person you want to be. There were several things Y/N wished she could change about herself. She had a horrible temper, was a little too loud at times, took many things far too personal, and more. She was unsure how much independence and a new environment could help make her a better version of herself, but she hoped Helmond and London could help her to some degree.

Once they arrived at Parmiter Street, Nathan walked straight onto Dinwiddy campus grounds and showed them the way to flat 10. The brown brick buildings rose five storeys high around them, shaping a small T formation with some benches along the stone path where people could sit on the few occasions when the weather would allow it. Nathan had been there the year before, loads of his friends from his Criminology course had lived at Dinwiddy accommodation and therefore hosted pre-drinks there. Nathan knew his way around, and, sure enough, he showed them right to flat 10. On the right hand-side, the first building, Nathan strolled over to the entrance.

He met Y/N’s eyes, trying to get a picture of just how nervous she was. After all, these were her friends, and had they been home in Nottingham, she would not have been this nervous at all. Nathan was not anxious at all, and he had never talked to – never met – Chloe or any of Y/N’s course mates.

“Listen,” Nathan said, giving Y/N a small smile. “If it gets too much, we’ll just go home, yeah? I won’t leave your side.”

Y/N smiled back, nodding her head. “Yeah. I’ll send Chloe a text saying we’re here.”

“We could just ring the doorbell.”

She looked at him. “Nath.”

“Y/N.”

“What were phones invented for if we’re just gonna ring people’s doorbells? I’m sending her a text.”

Nathan reached forward and rang the doorbell, making Y/N raise her eyebrows at him and take a deep breath as not to throw him against the brick building.

“Yes?” came from the speakers beside the doorbells. It was Chloe.

Nathan nudged Y/N, nodding in the direction of the speakers. She glared at him. “It’s Y/N.”

“Ahh, brill!” Chloe unlocked the door for them and Nathan opened it, letting Y/N enter first. They walked over to the stairs, looking at a sign there that showed them flat 10 at the topmost storey.

“They don’t even have a bloody lift, do they?” Y/N asked Nathan as she looked around.

“Gotta walk, mate.”

“Fuck me,” Y/N groaned as they began their ascent.

“I’d rather not.”

Despite herself, Y/N laughed a bit. They made it to the fourth floor, and Y/N knocked on the door as Nathan breathed heavily beside her.

“Hi,” Chloe smiled as she opened the door, stepping aside to let Y/N and Nathan in.

“Hiya,” Y/N smiled back, feeling her heart beat hard inside her chest. Something about Chloe’s smile, the reminder that she had invited Y/N over, that she wanted her there, settled atop Y/N’s shoulders, making them sag to a comfortable level. “Brought my housemate, hope you don’t mind.”

“Not at all!” Chloe said, turning to Nathan.

“Nathan,” he smiled. “Thanks for letting me come here.”

“Don’t mention it,” Chloe said, closing the door and showing them the way down a corridor towards the shared living space where a heavy bass was throbbing. The fluorescent lights overhead in the hallway resembled those at a petrol station, making Y/N squint as she entered the living room. There sat everyone she had the pleasure of meeting earlier that week. Hayden, Annalise, and Thian were all  around the table with a glass each to drink. Y/N smiled at them, waving her hand as they all grinned back at her. She still felt like she was intruding.

“Y/N, Nathan, do you like sambuca?” Chloe asked, walking over to the kitchen bench to fetch plastic shot glasses.

“Never say no to sambuca, ey?” Nathan grinned, nodding for Y/N to go sit down so he could follow her lead. “We’ll have a shot each of you’re handing out.”

“I am, indeed,” Chloe said, getting two shot glasses and walking over to the table, placing the glasses in front of Nathan who looked absolutely ecstatic.

“Thanks, babe,” Y/N said.

“You lot playing a drinking game?” Nathan asked, getting his drinks out to mix them all together into his paper cup.

“Yeah, we’re playing Never Have I Ever,” Hayden answered. “However, if no one drinks, everyone’s got to take a sip except for the person asking, but the person asking’s gotta take two if no one drinks.”

“Ahh, alright,” Nathan said. “Creative. Love it.”

“This is Y/N’s friend, Nathan, by the way, guys,” Chloe said as she came back over with shots for everyone.

“Oh, yeah, this is Nathan. He’s a second-year, we live in a flat together in Haggerston.” Y/N suddenly felt stupid for not introducing him right away so that Chloe had to. She felt her cheeks heat up, but she refused to look like she felt headless. Instead, she got her vodka and cranberry juice out, mixing it as Nathan spoke beside her.

“We’ve known each other forever, so she moved in with me and my flatmates this year instead of moving into uni accommodation,” he elaborated.

“You knew each other in Nottingham?” Chloe asked, and, for some reason, the fact that Chloe remembered that made Y/N feel all kinds of warm.

“Yeah, been best friends for years.”

“How nice that you got to live together here,” Chloe smiled in Nathan’s direction, then at Y/N.

“It is, isn’t it?” Nathan said, looking at Y/N and giving her a small wink before going back to his drink.

“Right, we need to take advantage of being first-years and get drunk as often as possible,” Thian said. “So, tonight needs to be good.”

“It’ll be good regardless,” Annalise retorted, taking one of the shots from the tray Chloe had brought to the table.

“Where are we going, anyway?” Hayden asked.

Thian nodded. “Pub or club?”

“Don’t really feel like clubbing tonight, you know what I mean?” Chloe asked, the other three coming with exclamations of agreement or nodding slightly. “Pub then?”

“We have a pub right by us,” Nathan said. “Only 30 minutes away and it’s the best one in Haggerston, in my opinion anyway.”

Y/N wrinkled her nose some. “The Stag’s Head?”

“Yeah, it’s always full and they sometimes got live music and everything.”

“We could go there, yeah,” Chloe said. “If everyone’s in.”

“Could we take a bus there?” Hayden asked.

“30 minutes isn’t a long walk, though,” Chloe chuckled. “As long as Nathan and Y/N show the way, we won’t get lost.”

“Don’t count on my navigational skills when I’m under the influence, babes,” Nathan said, making the others laugh.

“We’re better off using Google Maps, he might just show the way to the Gregg’s by Dalston Kingsland where he thinks the entire staff’s got a crush on him,” Y/N said before taking a sip of her drink, laughter erupting again. It felt good, like a pat on the shoulder, and Y/N instantly eased. Maybe she had not lost her old self at all, maybe she could still feel at ease, even around new people.

“They all flirt with me, and who can blame them?” Nathan shrugged his shoulders, whipping his head to the side so his lush, curly red hair dangled at the top of his head, grinning his wide smile and making the lip piercing shine in the fluorescent lights overhead.

The rest of the night went on, and it was easier to talk to everyone as time progressed. Not only because Y/N got more and more intoxicated, but she also just felt better after getting to know them all. Hayden always laughed the loudest, and their laughter was also very infectious, making it hard not to chuckle along with them. Annalise, though she sometimes stuttered over a few English words, was incredibly considerate and would urge Y/N to continue on with her story when others did not hear her. Thian offered Y/N tons of shots and complimented her on her outfit, making it easier for Y/N to feel good and seen, as she had been terrified of back at the flat. Chloe was easily the boss, and did most of the talking, though no one seemed to mind. After all, Chloe had introduced everyone to everyone, so people knew her the best out of everyone.

As time went on, Y/N just felt better. It was easier to talk to everyone and, at one point, she thought she was back at home in Nottingham, introducing herself to strangers at a party. They all made it easy to forget just how nervous she had been. It made her look forward to seeing them in her other lectures and seminars the coming week and all those weeks after that. Maybe these were the people she would spend her time at University with, and that excited her.

Bottles emptied and the volume inside the uni flat had increased massively. It was close to 9 when Chloe suggested they leave, and assured Y/N that she could leave the little she had left of her vodka at her place to pick up another day. Y/N took her up on the offer, insides warm from both alcohol and Chloe’s hospitality.

Nathan showed the way towards Haggerston and The Stag’s Head, arm entwined with Y/N’s for most of the way there. At one point however, Y/N let go of him and ended up walking beside Annalise and Thian, talking about one of the texts they had to read by Tuesday. It was such a mundane conversation, complaining about course work and talking about coming deadlines, that it felt like they had been mates for ages. The chat flowed so easily, the laughter rolled off their tongues, and it just made sense for all of them to be together, walking along the dark London streets in their tipsy states, making their way towards what would hopefully be the first of many trips to a pub.

They arrived at Orsman Road and they could hear The Stag’s Head before they saw it. Y/N had never paid it much attention. She knew she would end up popping by once or twice during her time at uni, but she had not envisioned her checking it out that first week. Nathan held the door open for everyone, resting a hand at Y/N’s back as he followed her indoors last.

The pub was small, but Y/N was sure that it was bigger than it appeared late on a Friday evening. Straight ahead, in a V formation, stood the bar, a wall filled with bottles of all alcohol imaginable behind it, lit up by red light which fit the dark red of the counter surrounding it. Far down to the left, it seemed the rest of the pub disappeared from view, but judging by the stairs Y/N could see, she supposed there was a loo somewhere in that direction, and it also looked to be where one could go to reach the smoking area. People were both sat and stood by the bar as well as booths along the walls. What appeared to be the stage further down to the right was unoccupied by any performers, though a few lads stood there with a pint each. There were no free tables, and this put a damper on the mood quite quickly.

Nathan, however, pulled them all towards the smoking area and they were all pleasantly surprised to see a free table and two benches untouched. Fairylights hung over the outdoor space, from the house and over to the fence on the other side. It lit up just enough, made it possible to see, but not too bright for people to squint when walking out into the night. A few empty pints and a smoky ash tray stood in the middle of the table, but Nathan put the glasses on the brick fence before everyone sat down.

“Alright, I’ll pay for your drink,” Nathan said, smiling at Y/N. “Anyone wanna come to the bar? Y/N’ll watch the table.”

“Ah, yes.” Chloe got up, the rest of the gang following along and walking towards one of the two entrances to the pub. Y/N got her phone out, looking to see if she had any notifications she had to check out, but there were none. She was about to resolve to scrolling aimlessly through Instagram, when she heard a slightly familiar voice.

“Hi there.” Mason sat down on the edge of the opposite bench, a cigarette in hand and a small smile on his lips. “Didn’t know you and Nath would come here tonight.”

“Oh, hiya,” Y/N smiled. “No, we didn’t know where we’d go after pre-drinks. He suggested this place, so we brought some of my course mates with us here.”

“You going out later?”

“No, think we’re just gonna stay here.”

“Yeah, this is a chill place,” Mason said, puffing out some smoke.

“This is my first time here.”

Mason raised his eyebrows. “Is it?”

Y/N smiled. “You think I should’ve come here earlier?”

“More to do with the fact that our flat just loves this place, thought Nathan would’ve at least taken you here already.”

“He did now.”

“It’s my favourite pub around here, and Harry-“

“-Mase!” Nathan exclaimed, grinning as he came over with two gin and tonics. “You’re here as well!”

“Yeah, it’s a Friday night, innit?”

“Hi,” Chloe said, sitting down beside Mason with a wide grin on her face. It seemed like she wanted to introduce herself or to be introduced, but before Y/N could say anything, the conversation resumed.

“Hey,” Mason answered, looking back to Nathan who seemed to be ecstatic to see one of his flatmates. “Hear you haven’t taken Y/N here till now.”

Nathan sighed. “Not like I didn’t want to, just haven’t gotten the opportunity.”

“What’s so good about this place?” Y/N asked, looking from Nathan to Mason.

“Just close, innit? Also, it’s crowded, but it’s not as crowded as most pubs down by Kingsland Road,” Nathan elaborated.

“You lot have a good night, yeah? Need to get back to my mates.” Mason leaned past Chloe, stumping the rest of his cigarette into the ashtray before he got up, walking over to a big group of lads. Chloe stared after him as the rest of the conversation around the table started back up again, Y/N pretended to not see how she was checking him out. It felt like she was intruding on a moment that was not meant for anyone but Mason to see.

“You’re living with him?” Chloe asked.

“Yeah.”

“He’s well fit.”

“Guess.”

Chloe giggled. “You’re taking the rule to not shag one of your flatmates seriously, then?”

“Shouldn’t everyone?” Thian asked, furrowing his brows. “It only complicates everything.”

“How? It’s only a shag. It’s not like you’re gonna fall in love with them,” Chloe said.

“Can’t really control your emotions, though.” Nathan shrugged. “Two of my flatmates last year shagged. He had feelings for her, she just wanted a one night stand. Didn’t end well.”

Y/N put her drink back down on the table after a long sip. “Well, if you’re clear beforehand and make it clear that it’s only for this night and there’s no emotions behind it other than temporary bliss, then that’s okay, isn’t it?”

“Nah,” Hayden said, shaking their head. “It’s an unwritten rule. Don’t shag your flatmates.”

“Is it a serious rule?” Annelise asked, furrowing her brows.

“It’s got serious consequences,” Hayden answered.

“But if you’re both aware it’s only a one time thing, then is it serious?” Y/N asked.

“Babe, sex is complicated. You’re always just gonna be connected in a way, you know?” Nathan said.

“I can promise you I’m not connected to Ollie Lee in any way, shape, or form,” Y/N huffed, sipping her drink again as Nathan laughed, the other joining in because of Y/N’s obvious distaste in this Ollie Lee.

“Was he awful in bed?” Chloe asked, smiling as she looked between Nathan and Y/N.

“No, I was just desperate one night last year.” Y/N rolled her eyes at herself. “Let’s just say that mid-shag he asked me if I had to go to the toilet, and when I said no, he told me that whenever I felt like I had to, just pee on him instead.”

Gasps erupted around the table, and a second later, everyone started howling with laughter. Nathan kept on hitting his thigh, leaning into Y/N and laughing. Though it was a fairly embarrassing story on Y/N’s part, her definite lowest of low, she could not help feeling good about making everyone laugh like this. Looking around at everyone, she suddenly felt very good about herself, despite this being her worst sex story ever.

It was not like Y/N had fucked her way through Nottingham and had tons of stories to tell. In fact, she hadn’t shagged that many. She had had sex with eight people, three of them being women, one non-binary, and the other four men. She had been very vocal about the fact that the best sexual encounters she had had, were with women. They had all been so nice, and though it had never escalated to anything romantic beyond that one night together, they had made Y/N feel the best she’d ever felt. She suspected women just knew what to do, that they cared how she felt and did not solely care about their own release.

The group ended up just sitting around and talking for a while. It was nice to go somewhere outside of the uni setting and get to know some people, this was what uni was all about, or so Nathan had told her countless times. These people were as anxious about making friends and being liked as she was, but there they all were, making friends and going outside their own comfort zone.

At one point, Y/N had finished her drink and went to get another round for her and Nathan. The pub seemed to be even more packed now that it was closer to midnight. Everyone wanted to drink the week away, to forget about their lives for a little while and just spend time in good company. Y/N strolled over to the bar, looking up and down the counter to see if any of the bartenders were free to help her. The second her eyes landed on a familiar figure, she halted.

Harry’s eyes were already on hers as he stood almost right opposite her mixing a drink. He let go of a sigh, looking down at whatever he was mixing.

“You…” she started, raising her eyebrows. “You’ve got to be fucking everywhere.”

“Only ‘cause you’re every single place I usually am,” he said, continuing to make whatever drink he was making.

“Do you work here then?”

He looked over at her, raising one of his eyebrows. “I’m not a hallucination now?”

Y/N rolled her eyes.

“Can’t believe you thought I was a bloody hallucination.”

“Believe it. It’s all Nathan’s fault anyway. I’ll never forgive him for forcing me to live with you for a year.”

Harry let out a dry laugh. “To answer your question: no, thought I’d help out behind the bar to get me adrenaline going.”

“Well funny,” Y/N said. “You got me cracking up, can you tell?”

“Last time I checked, I got you laughing pretty hard, yeah.”

“That’s literally two years ago now.”

Harry finished the drink, putting it in a glass and placing it in front of the person standing just beside Y/N. Her eyes first landed on the watch on his wrist, the nice brown leather, and then her gaze travelled upward. She looked up at the man who was already staring at her, giving him a smile when she smiled at him. Their eye contact was put to an abrupt end when Harry poked the man’s hand holding the drink with the card machine. Y/N looked back at Harry, and then at another man with strong build and big, curly hair who stepped into view beside Harry.

“I’ll take care of her, Kai,” Harry said.

This Kai looked at Harry, blinking once before he met Y/N’s eyes again.

“She’s my flatmate,” Harry elaborated, making Kai study Y/N a bit more closely before he nodded once. He was very good looking, with a broad nose, almond-shaped eyes, and full lips, his brown skin glowed in the dim lights of the pub.

“That new one,” Kai said.

“Yeah.”

Kai smiled then, nodding in Y/N’s direction. “Nice of you to come check on Hazza. It’s always hectic on Fridays.”

“Oh, our other flatmate took me here, I didn’t come by choice.”

Kai’s eyebrows rose on his face and he looked at Harry who barked out a laugh, shrugging his shoulders at Kai as they exchanged a look. Harry walked over to stand right in front of her, signalling to Kai that he could take care of this one. Kai walked off, taking someone else’s order.

“Even feistier than I remember, you are,” Harry said.

She cocked her head to the side as Harry gathered a glass for her drink, already assuming that was what she was going to get. “You didn’t seem to have a problem with it before.”

It left her lips before she even registered she was thinking it. Harry only took a deep breath before meeting Y/N’s eyes again, clearly choosing to ignore her statement. “What can I get you, Y/N?”

“Sex on the Beach, please,” she said. “Two of them.”

“Alright.” Harry started making them right away, signalling to someone that he’d be right with them after this. Y/N looked around her, meeting the gaze of the man who had just stood by her at the bar. He raised his glass in her direction and she smiled back. She definitely had to go talk to him after this. He seemed to be a bit older, maybe five years older than her, but just for tonight, she did not care.

Y/N glanced back at Harry and watched him, fascinated by how fast he managed to make the drinks. “How long have you worked here, then?”

“A year abouts,” Harry said. “Worked in a hotel when we moved to Brum. Tended to work at the bar when the bartender was out.”

Y/N nodded, eyes on his hands as he poured ice, shots, and all types of alcohol and liquids into her drink. “You lived there till you moved to London?”

“Yeah.” They were quiet for a moment, both of them remembering all of the things that were left unsaid between them. All of those words, moments, and memories they had created during those months the two of them had crossed paths in Nottingham.

He cleared his throat as he put the drinks down in front of her. “If it makes you feel any better, I didn’t much like Brum.”

Y/N took a grip of the glasses. “And why’s that?”

“Dunno. Just didn’t find my footing proper.”

“In the two years you lived there?”

He shrugged. “Guess not.”

Y/N clicked her tongue. “Was it that bad?”

“Nah, I met tons of ace people and Birmingham’s a decent place, but…” He shrugged again. “Dunno.”

“Hmm,” she said, trying to decipher his words and if he was being truthful or not.

“Anyway,” Harry said, nodding to the drinks. “Take that other drink to Nathan – as I’m sure it’s for him – and when you bring that middle-aged man home later: please, be quiet. I have rugby at 11 tomorrow morning.”

Y/N’s mouth fell open. “How dare-“

“-Y/N, what’s taking so fucking long?” Nathan shouted as he came up next to her. His eyes fell on Harry behind the bar. “Oh… forgot to tell you Harry works here.”

“Nath, shut the fuck up,” Y/N said, looking from Nathan and back at Harry.

Harry nodded towards the door, silently telling them to fuck off, and they did. They walked back to the rest who were still sitting by the same table outside. Nathan took his drink from Y/N and sat down, but just as Y/N was about to sit down, she heard someone clear their throat behind her. She looked over her shoulder rather fast, blinking a few too many times when she locked eyes with the same man who had been standing beside her by the bar.

“Hi,” he said, giving her a broad smile.

Y/N almost felt herself blush. “Hey.”

“I’m George.”

She smiled. “Y/N.”

“Pleasure to meet you, Y/N,” he said, he gestured at the bench where she had just been about to sit down. “Mind if I sit down with you?”

Her smile widened. “Not at all.”

Y/N felt fucking terrible. Her room was too hot, too humid. Body sticky with sweat, limbs aching, throat burning with yesterday’s alcohol, and head throbbing, she opened her eyes slowly before shutting them again, groaning into her pillow. She hated herself for not drinking as much water before bed as she usually did when coming home from a night out. Sitting up, she looked down at the man beside her, racking her brain to remember what his name was. She ran her hands over her face, reaching for her glasses so she could see something, but quickly realising she left her contact lenses in the night before. Her eyes were so dry it hurt to blink and she suddenly realised why her head was hurting more than normal. Cursing herself, Y/N got out of bed with her glasses perched at the top of her head, picking up a tee shirt and some tights, pulling on her fluffy dressing gown before she made her way out of her room as soundlessly as possible.

She stumbled her way to the bathroom, locking the door behind her. First thing she did was take her contacts out, struggling to do so as the contacts were so dry, her eyes having dried out with them. She splashed water in her face next, then drank the equivalent to the Atlantic Ocean before splashing even more water on her face. She then put her glasses on, realising that she had to let her eyes relax some after what she had just put them through. It took her awhile to gather up the courage to go to the toilet, where she made herself throw up the nausea she was feeling before having a very long peeing session.

Moments of the night before came rushing back to her, and as she sat there on the toilet, she remembered more and more. The name George came to her like out of a fog, and then the details started falling into place. She remembered how he’d bought her more drinks, how the two of them had sat talking all night about nothing in particular. She remembered his hand on her thigh and him leaning into her to whisper in her ear. Then they were in her room, her front against the mattress and his weight on her back. It was all hazy after that, most of it just a mess of limbs and chasing a release that she had never caught up with. Though Y/N usually made it clear that she hadn’t come, she was too worn out to tell George. She remembered falling asleep almost the second they were done. To say she had been underwhelmed was an understatement.

When she was done, she walked down the stairs for the kitchen. Once again, she was left stopping right in her tracks as she walked in. Harry stood by the stove, eyes on the pan in front of him where he was making eggs, a few asparagus and peppers cooking beside the two frying eggs. For a moment, she debated walking back upstairs and leaving Harry to it, but then he glanced over at the door to his right, meeting her eyes right away. He gave her a tight-lipped smile before turning back to his breakfast. God… Y/N wanted to set herself on fire. It’d be better than staying inside a room with Harry alone after years apart.

He wore rugby shorts that reached mid-thigh, a white tee shirt to go with it, and a hairband to keep his hair out of his face. Y/N realised just then that he was getting ready to leave for rugby as he had told her yesterday he would. She could remember him doing rugby when they knew each other three years ago as well, but she didn’t think he’d still be doing it.

The small conversation they had in The Stag’s Head the night before lingered in the air between and around them. That was reason enough to turn and walk upstairs again. But as Y/N remembered who was waiting for her in her room, she stepped into the kitchen. She got two slices of bread and put them in the toaster, getting some butter and milk out of the fridge as she waited. She watched Harry’s back as she filled the kettle with enough water, quickly looking away when he moved to put his eggs on the two slices of bread on his plate. Biting her lip, Y/N got a mug and a teabag, looking back over at Harry as he stood holding his breakfast plate. Y/N took a deep breath, knowing exactly what she had to do.

“Okay,” she said only a second before Harry turned around to face her, mouth open as if to say something. He must have noticed the tension as well. “We need to talk this through. We can’t live together for the next year if it’s gonna be like this. Just gonna put that out there right away.”

“Yeah,” Harry sighed. “I’ve been thinking the same thing.”

Y/N leaned her hip against the counter, feeling relieved that she was not the only one out of the two that had thought about how incredibly awkward this was. “You’ve thought about it too?”

“Of course. I’ve been fuming ‘cause Nathan didn’t tell you sooner, and I’ve also found it annoying how I’m the bad guy in your eyes when this wouldn’t have happened if it wasn’t for Nate.”

Y/N rolled her eyes. “I haven’t thought of you as the bad guy-“

“-Y/N,” Harry said, putting his plate down on the counter again. “You’ve been angry at me this whole time. I can tell.”

“My frustration with you has got nothing to do with this situation, but all to do with how you just left without even saying goodbye before you moved away.” Y/N crossed her arms over her chest. “I’m trying to not blame you for this as well, but you’re right, Nathan’s the one that made this happen, we should be angry with him.”

“So you have been mad at me.”

“Well, you’re here, aren’t you?” Y/N narrowed her eyes. “Isn’t it just easier, no matter how stupid the reason, to just find more things to make you angry at a person? To make you hate them even more? Isn’t it just satisfying to find other ways to be frustrated with them?”

“No.”

“You’re no fun.”

“I am.”

“Anyway,” Y/N continued, getting her bread slices out of the toaster to put butter on them. “Why didn’t we say anything? If we’ve both thought it’s been awkward, I mean.”

“You’ve been busy shagging men 10 years older than you, I didn’t get the chance.”

“Look at you not being frustrated or annoyed with me.”

“I told you to be quiet last night,” Harry said, getting a fork and putting some asparagus and paprika in his mouth. “You weren’t.”

Y/N got the kettle as it finished, pouring some hot water into her mug. “So, what you’re saying is that you’ve been angry with me.”

“Not angry, just…” Harry sighed. “Fine. A little angry last night, yes.”

Y/N smiled. “And he wasn’t 10 years older than me, he’s five years older.” She paused. “I think.”

“Right,” Harry said, eating more of his breakfast. “Listen…” He swallowed. “I think we should just… We should just address it.”

“Yeah.”

They were both quiet, looking at the other and waiting for them to say what they were both thinking. Though it looked like he was about to reach for his bread to take a bite, Harry stopped himself. Instead, he took a deep breath, and said, “It was fucking terrible. That first time…” He trailed off, narrowing his eyes before he ran a hand over his face, remembering it all over again. “I didn’t even last a minute. It was mortifying.”

“It wasn’t half as mortifying as you trying to go down on me afterwards.”

Harry let out a small laugh. “Yeah, that wasn’t really…” He sighed. “I’m sorry.”

“No, we were both part of it. You don’t have to apologise for that.”

“You hear all these stories about how losing your virginity is supposed to be so beautiful, but it’s not. It’s really fucking not. Especially if you lose it to someone else who hasn’t had sex before, it just makes it double as awkward.”

Y/N nodded. “It was shit. Both of us were shit.”

“Exactly.”

“But I hope you know the reason I’m frustrated with you isn’t because of that.”

Harry looked away, biting at his bottom lip before he said, “Yeah, I know why.”

“Good, just wanted that to be clear.”

Harry nodded, taking his bread slice in his hand, making sure the egg wouldn’t fall off before he brought it to his mouth. “Well, now that we’ve addressed that, let’s just move on.”

“Let’s.”

She gave him a small smile before taking her teabag out of her mug and throwing it in the bin. There was still some tension in the room, but not enough for Y/N to want to set herself on fire like she had wanted to before. Just as she was about to take a grip of her plate and cuppa, the sounds of footsteps made her look up. George, who had been asleep last time Y/N checked, walked by the kitchen, halting as he saw Y/N and Harry standing there in the kitchen. He gave them both a smile Y/N could tell was forced, and then walked straight for the door without a single word or a second glance. Y/N and Harry looked at one another, sharing a look before they both chuckled ever so slightly.

“Cracking bloke,” Harry mumbled.

“Innit,” Y/N huffed, picking up her breakfast. “Have fun at rugby practice.”

“Cheers.”

She walked by him, hoping that her room did not smell of George or anything resembling alcohol or sweat. If it did, she would hit her head against the wall. But, lucky for her, George had left the door open, which had given the room a little bit of time to get the smell of last night out. After putting on her fluffy duvet cover, she opened the windows to let some fresh air in, and left her door open as she sat down in bed with her laptop, tea, and breakfast.

Just as she was about to put her plate down on the nightstand, she noticed something already laying there on top of her books. Adjusting her glasses, Y/N squinted at the object. She put her plate down on her duvet cover and reached for the wristwatch George had left. It was the nice leather one she had seen last night by the bar, the one that had caught her attention first. The digital clock seemed to have stopped working, displaying a random time that Y/N in her hangover state could not tell anyone what was. She was too fucked to even try and understand the numbers in front of her.

She put the clock back on her desk, hoping that she’d run into George soon so she could give it back to him. Or maybe Nathan could stalk Facebook and find him so she could message him there to tell him. She was glad she hadn’t exchanged phone numbers with George as she did not want to meet him again, but right now, she wanted to give him his watch back.

Y/N heard the front door open and then close, indicating that Harry had just left for rugby, and, as far as she could tell, she was the only one currently awake in her flat. The morning was quiet, she felt oddly at peace as she put on Fleabag and sipped her cuppa, and little did she know, this would be one of those rare moments over the last three years that this emotion inhabited her body.

NEXT UPDATE: Sunday, 7th March, 9PM GMT!

Huge thanks to my AMAZING beta reader! 🏛️ @aileenacoustic 🏛️ @devil-in-bw-the-sheets 🏛️ @sunflowerstache​ 🏛️ @fromyourstrulyh​ 🏛️

FIC PAGE | COME TALK !!!

[helaisthequeen]

Something Scary This Season

This is also on ao3, I hope you like it!

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It was a Friday night when Peter was getting ready for bed, he always loathed when he was alone. All because Tony, his fiancé, was on a business trip to Sweden. “Why Sweden? What does Sweden have to offer that I don’t?” Peter looked around their new house which they had recently moved into a week ago. Of course there were still boxes everywhere, because how can one person unpack them all alone? The answer is because Tony had to leave on a business trip only a couple of days after they had moved in. Leaving Peter to deal with all the mess.

Instead of being moody he picked his phone up and decided to call Tony, a few seconds later he picked up. “Hey babe, how are you? How’s everything going with the unpacking?” The older man asked. “I hate being alone, but I've packed up two or three boxes, I think.” The young man answered. “I know babey, but I’ll be done with this soon, I promise. I love you soon-to-be my husband.” Tony said, apologetic. “I love you too.” Peter hung up after that.

“I’m hungry, I should probably eat.” He said to himself. So he went into the kitchen to get food but of course he hadn’t stocked the kitchen yet, so he went and looked for some boxes that belonged to the kitchen and got a little feeling. So the young man went upstairs in search of the speaker, but stumbled on a box and fell on the ground. He groaned in pain for a second until he realised that it didn’t hurt that much, “Why do I have to be so dramatic. Peter the drama queen coming through!!” “Excuse you, stupid box.” He sighed and moved on. After he found what he was looking for Peter went back downstairs and connected his phone and chose his favourite playlist on Spotify.

A couple of hours later he had taken every box labeled ‘kitchen’ and filled the shelves with anything and everything. He was almost done, but while he was playing so loud music Peter didn’t even hear the door opening… or that his phone had missed calls from Tony.

What caught Peter’s attention was the creek of the floor, he stilled his movements, afraid that it might be an intruder so he grabbed the knife that was conveniently on the countertop and spun around. But to his surprise there was no one there, just Peter and his knife. He breathed a sigh of relief and thanked God that he was alone, so he put the knife back where he took it and breathed in and out. But out of a random instinct he looked back at the counter and saw that the knife was gone.

Peter flicked his eyes up and felt a breath on his neck, then the hand on his shoulder.. and then a kiss on his neck and another. He heard the person say, “I missed you.” “AAAAH Tony seriously!! Fuck you, why’d you have to scare me like that!” Peter turned around and looked at his fiancé and kissed him. “I missed you too,” “But you could’ve texted or called that you were coming home earlier instead of scaring me.” Peter whined. “I did, I called you like five times.” The older man said in his defense. “Oh, sorry, I must’ve forgotten to turn off ‘do not disturb’.”

“But where did the knife go then?” he asked. “Yeah well I took it, since I would much rather stay alive and not die..” Tony looked at Peter and then at the knife and said, “Sorry if I scared you, I just wanted to surprise you.” “But I love what you have done here, how long have you been going?” The older man asked. “A few hours, I think.” Peter responded.

“I love it. I’m sorry that I left you all alone to deal with all this crap, I shouldn’t have done that.” Tony said. “It’s fine, you are here now, which is all that matters. Besides, I got to decorate the kitchen. You know I love to organise.” Tony opened his arms in a hug whom Peter embraced and rested his face on Tony's chest. “By the way, what was the dealership's reaction to you leaving in the middle of the deal?” Peter looked up at the older man. “Let’s just say I won’t be making deals in Sweden for some time. But it’s worth it, you are worth it. Always.”

[bakusdumptruck]

Bakusquad Crack Post

Sup bitches 🤩how’s your day been? hope its been good! Anywayyy i was listening to a “Rolling joints with Sero Hanta” playlist and this popped up in my mind sooo here’s a little Bakusquad scenario 😏

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Pairing: aged up Bakusquad x GN Y/n

Warnings: Use of marijuana, swearing, injuries

Summary: A smoke session with the babes turned into a chaotic mess 

Ights sluts lets get into it 😈

Sero Hanta is the stoner of the group. Period. 

He taught everyone how to roll up just incase he was too high to function and wanted to smoke more

One night he texted the gc asking if everyone wanted to have a smoke sesh before they had to study for exams 

You all agreed and went over to his dorm together

All except Bakugou.

He called all of you “idiots” and “dumbasses” for getting faded before studying, but all Sero had to say for him to come was

“Ight bakubro, if you can’t handle it you could’ve said that instead of making excuses 🤷🏻‍♂️”

Bakugou showed up within 5 minutes.

Once everyone was together, tape boy had everything set up

There were 4 joints lined up, hella snacks, drinks, video games, and movies

He even had the LED a n d Galaxy lights on

Lordy it was gonna be a long ass night

NOW ON TO THE FIRST ROTATION 🤩

You know how I said Sero is the stoner? yup uhuh he got the MF GAS.

The rotation was Bakugou, Kiri, You, Mina, Denki, then Sero

You all have a high tolerance so after you saw Bakugou coughing up a fucking lung, yall knew you were in trouble

Everyone coughed... except Sero. He just busted a lung laughing💀

So the joint is finished and you’re all feeling fuzzy

yes you’re high, BUT its not enough to get you guys staring at the wall thinking about space and aliens

Just high enough where time is slowed down and your body feels light

Denki randomly shouted to play video games and everyone agreed

Guess what you’re playing 👀

Ju-on. The fucking grudge game. 

Why did Denki choose this game? oh he just wanted to see if it’d be a scarier experience if you’re all faded

It was 😃

Kiri volunteered to play the first stage to show off his Manliness 😤

So there he goes walking into the abandoned building 

yall know how you can use another wii remote to trigger jumpscares? 

yeahhhh Kiri didn’t know about it... and Bakugou was in charge of that

Everyone was chillin, lowkey feeling at edge to prepare themselves for anything about to pop up

Here comes the scene where he opens the door and scary bitch is on the other side waiting to grab him 

K: “Uhhhh this doesn’t feel right... am I supposed to go this way?

B: “No shit dumbass, its telling you go that way isn’t it? What are you scared or something 😏 I thought you were too manly for this game”

K: “I-I’m not scared... just making s-sure.”

M: “Hehe you’re stuttering kiri”

K: “...I’m just cold”

Right before he grabbed the door handle (I kinda forgot how the game went oops 😅) bakubitch tiggered a jumpscare

K: “Okay here I g- what the fuck 😃”

It didn’t work.

K: “Oh that wasn’t too bad! The games gonna have to try harder if it wants to scare m- JESUS FUCKING CHRIST WHAT THE HELL IS THAT”

Scary bitch popped up outta no where and grabbed him

S: “DUDE FUCKING RUN AWAY”

Y/N: “KIRI THE BITCH IS RIGHT THERE WHY AREN’T YOU DOING ANYTHING”

K: “FUCK- CAN’T YOU SEE IM TRYING”

B: “BITCH SHAKE THE CONTROLLER. YOU HAVE TO SHAKE THE CONTROLLER”

K: “AHSJHS WHY ISN’T SHE LETTING GO”

D: “I-IT”S TELLING YOU HOW TO SHAKE IT. GO LEFT, NO NOW RI-”

Kiri accidentally punched Denki in the face 🙃

All: “...whAT THE FUCK AHAHAHSHAH”

yeahhh so thats how the game ended 😭

Denki was laying on the floor staring at the ceiling wondering what the hell just happened and why everyone was laughing at him

D: *in his head* “I just got punched square in the face 😃 and they’re laughing at me 😃 This is fine. 😃”

K: “B-bro are you okay 😭 iM sorry AHAsh its- its just everyone was screaming and AhahhAHAHA IM SORRY 😭”

Sero let him start the second rotation as an apology for laughing instead of checking up on him 

Honestly yall don’t know if you can go on to the third

Everyone was hella faded at this point

Eyes red, dry mouths, and hungry stomachs

Mina ordered TacoBell knowing everyone was gonna want to eat more than the snacks and you all sat on the floor munching away

You all started talking about stupid stuff:

S: “So like... what happens when we get scared half to death twice”

M: “👁👄👁”

B: “👁👄👁”

D: “👁👄👁”

Y: “👁👄👁”

K: “👁👄👁”

D: “I’ve been scared half to death multiple times... im fucking immortal.”

After a few more high conversations Mina suggests to make tiktoks 

Have yall seen the tiktok where Mina and Y/n do the trend where they wink at the camera and all the boys are watching and Baku comes up to kiss Y/n? 

yup you do that BUT

When Bakugou grabbed your cheeks and went in for the kiss he missed and fell flat on his face 💀

*Cue everyone falling on their asses crying*

Best believe the tiktok went viral 🤩

After the third joint yall decided that the room was too suffocating and went out for a walk 

It didn’t seem like a bad idea... until you all got outside

Denki and Sero were singing “Milkshake” at the top of their lungs while wall twerking on the trees

Kiri and Bakugo were racing to see who’s the fastest but kept tripping over their own feet

You and Mina were recording everything those dumbasses were doing.

All of a sudden yall found yourselves in a clear area a bit far from the dorms

Bakugou laid in the grass staring up at the stars and you all joined getting into a little cuddle pile

At this point the effects of the joints hit at once and everyone was out of their heads

They felt like their spirits were floating out of their bodies

*BOOM*

M: “...did you guys hear that”

All: “yes”

M: “should we go check it out?”

B: “Hell yeah. What if it’s a villain? I bet I can beat their ass in less than a second”

Y: “First, thats literally impossible. Second, We can barely fucking move. How do you expect us to fight a villain 🙂”

A Nomu popped up in front of you

D: “Uhhh aye Bakubro... you think you can beat his ass in less than a second?”

B: “FUCK YEAH WATCH THIS YOU FUCKING EXTRAS.”

...

HE FUCKING MISSED Nomu: “ERRHSJAKFjhuSGHD”

Y/n: *shoots up on their feet then falls over immediately* “DAMNIT I CAN’T STAND UP STRAIGHT WHAT DO WE DO”

Everyone started to use their quirks

Sero shot tape to the nomu

Denki sent 1 millions volts

Mina just kept shooting acid out

Kiri hardened up and threw punches like his life depend on it

Bakugou was screaming “die” and kept exploding shit

and You were also using your quirk to the best of your ability

K: *heavy breathing* “guys... i think we got it”

B: “Ofc we did... we literally went bat shit crazy on it”

When the smoke cleared it was still standing in front of you guys... unharmed...

AND IT MULTIPLIED

K: “😶RUN AWAY”

you all started running back to the dorms

well, tried running back to the dorms

Everyone was bumping into each other and tripping

S: “WE’RE GONNA DIE”

Y/n: “WE’RE NOT GONNA DIE JUST KEEP RUNNING... FUCK THEY’RE GETTING CLOSER

Denki ended up facetiming Aizawa in hopes that he would help

A: “Denki, its 4am what do you w-”

D: “SENSEIIII NOMUS ARE CHASING US. SEND HELP.

A: “Why are you guys out of the dorms? aND WHY ARE YOU CALLING ME USE YOUR QUIRKS. YOU HAVE YOUR HEROS LICENSE FOR A REASoN”

D: “WE TRIED. WE MISSED AND IT MULTIPLIED. WE’RE ALSO HIGH AS FUCK BUT WE’RE NOT GONNA TALK ABOUT THAT”

A: “... did you say you were high?”

D: “IRRELEVANT. SENSEI WE’RE GONNA DI-”

The nomu caught him.

A: “Denki... Kaminari... hello?... *sigh* you guys are gonna be the death of me.”

You all ended up getting knocked out by the nomus and taken to the League of Villains hideout 

B: “...Never thought i’d be here again”

S: “ I still have the last joint in my pocket... ya’ll wanna smoke?”

Dabi and Shiggy stared at him like he was crazy but agreed anyway 🤪who’s gonna pass up a free joint? not them. 

So everyone got high again and chilled until the Pro Hero’s saved your asses :)

Oh and also don’t think Aizawa let you guys off the hook. 

You all got house arrest and extra BRUTAL lessons for the next 2 months 

The End :)

Yeahhh idk what this was but I hope you all enjoyed it!! I really wanted to write something angsty but as I was writing I couldn’t take myself seriously and ended up making jokes 😭

[wayward-dreamer]

Life’s Lessons - Going To California

AO3 Link: Read Here

Pairing: Mechanic!Dean x Female!Teacher!Reader

Word count: 6,964

Summary: When Sam and Eileen back out of going to California, Dean and Y/N take a trip to the golden state in their place. Dean reflects on his relationship with Y/N, making a decision on what his next step should be.

Warnings: Lots of fluff, Dean being sweet (yes, that’s a warning), Swearing, Smut, Dirty talk, Oral sex (Male and Female receiving), Unprotected sex (wrap it up before you tap it people), more fluff.

Music: Going to California by Led Zeppelin (Dean and Y/N starting their journey scene)

Life’s Lessons Spotify Playlist

A/N: Time stamp #3 is here! I’m so excited to share it with you all! There’s so much more to come for these two, but more on that at a later stage! ;) As always, happy reading and enjoy! :)

Dividers by @firefly-graphics

Life’s Lessons Saga Masterlist

Dean walked through the house from the kitchen, twisting off the caps on two beers, the necks of the bottles resting between his fingers. He stepped out onto the back porch, walking over to his little brother, who was manning the grill while he was gone. He handed one over to him and then took over turning the burgers. It was a warm evening, the sun slowly setting and bathing the sky in a light purple hue. A soft breeze started, making it a perfect night to sit out and eat dinner.

It had been a while since the brothers saw each other, Sam having been busy with case after case, so when the weekend came and he had nothing work related to do, they made the plan for Sam and Eileen to come over for dinner to his house. Eileen had said she didn’t mind them coming over to her and Sam’s apartment, but Y/N had put her foot down, because no one was going to let the pregnant woman do anything at this point.

Tapping Sam on the shoulder, Dean gestured for him to move. Sam frowned, tapping his older brother back in defiance, not making a move to step away.

“Alright, scoot, let me show you how it’s done,” Dean muttered, as he pushed Sam away from the grill.

“Dude, I know what I’m doing,” Sam grumbled, as he moved to the side, his brother taking over, the flames of the grill fanning a little higher.

“No, you don’t,” Dean stated, chuckling when he saw Sam roll his eyes. He flipped the burgers over, one side browned to perfection already.

“How’s things?” Sam asked, smiling.

“Good,” Dean replied, moving away from the grill slightly, as the flames were too hot. “Amazing, actually.”

“That’s great, man,” Sam said, his smile growing.

Dean nodded, biting his lip as he wondered whether he should tell his little brother what he had been thinking about recently.

“Dean.” Sam got his older brother’s attention when he saw the look on his face. That one always meant there was something Dean wasn’t telling him. “What’s going on?”

“I, uh…” Dean smiled, unable to hide it anymore. “I think this is it.”

Sam frowned slightly as he didn’t completely understand. However, his eyes widened as things became clear very quickly. “Wait… you mean…?”

“Yeah, Sammy,” Dean muttered, smirking. “I wanna ask Y/N to marry me.”

“Oh my god.” Sam was in complete shock, but if it were even possible, the smile on his face became bigger. “Oh my god!”

“Shh,” Dean hissed, looking back into the house behind Sam. “She’ll fucking hear you, man.”

“Sorry,” Sam apologized, quietly. “This is great, Dean.”

Dean chuckled as he nodded. “I know. It’s insane, it’s only been 4 months that we’ve been together officially, but it just feels right.”

“So, when-when are you going to do it?” Sam asked, leaning back against the outdoor dining table as he looked at his brother.

“I don’t know, man. I’m just… I’m scared if I do it too soon and things go south, then it’s all screwed to hell. I just wanna enjoy our time together, we’re having so much fun… I don’t want to ruin that,” Dean explained, his shoulders tensed as his jaw clenched.

“For what it’s worth, I don’t think that’ll happen,” Sam reassured his older brother, offering him a soft smile.

“Thanks, Sammy.” Dean raised his hand and tapped Sam’s shoulder. “Let’s just keep it on the down low, for now. Okay?”

“Yeah. You bet.” Sam nodded and held his beer out. Dean smirked and clinked his bottle against Sam’s.

Y/N walked out onto the back porch, holding a tray with all the fixings for burgers on top of it. Eileen walked out behind her, a beer in one hand for Y/N, a glass of water in the other for herself. Putting everything down on the table, she helped Eileen sit down, pushing the table back slightly to give her more room with her round belly.

“How are you?” she signed, smiling.

Eileen frowned, shaking her head. “I feel like a whale,” she responded, signing but also speaking loud enough that Sam heard her.

“You are not.” Sam signed as he came over and kissed the top of her head, but she looked up at him and glared.

“Easy for you to say. I can’t see my feet,” she signed at him, shaking her head.

Sam tried to say something, but they were interrupted by Dean announcing that the burgers were ready.

He walked over to the table and put the platter down, moving behind Y/N as he passed her. Grabbing his hand, she stopped him and leaned up, pressing her lips to his in a sensual kiss. Dean’s arms came around her waist and pulled her in closer. He pulled away after a moment, smiling against her lips.

“Kiss me like that again some time. Okay?” he asked, smirking.

“Okay,” she laughed, pecking his cheek.

“Ugh, not while we’re eating,” Sam groaned, looking away from them.

“Shut up, Sam.” Dean tapped his little brother on the head, ducking away when Sam tried to get him back. He sat down next to Y/N, chuckling as he started assembling his burger.

They all started to eat, everyone complimenting Dean on the taste of the patties.

“So, there’s something I wanted to ask you guys.” Sam got Dean and Y/N’s attention after swallowing his bite, looking between both of them.

“Shoot,” Dean muttered around the morsel in his mouth.

“How do you both feel about a little getaway to California?” Sam asked.

“Aww Sammy, are you asking us to come on your little trip with Eileen?” Dean asked in return, teasing his little brother. Y/N chuckled lightly, nudging Dean’s arm to stop messing with him.

“No, I mean just the two of you,” Sam replied, rolling his eyes. He looked at Eileen and she laughed. “A friend from college owns a beach house there, but he and his wife are going to be in Europe for the summer.”

“Man, that’s the life,” Y/N sighed as Dean nodded to what she said.

“And we would go and keep an eye on things for two weeks before his sister comes to take care of the place, but Eileen feels like she can’t make the trip in the car,” Sam explained, looking at his wife before looking back at his brother.

“And I can’t fly now, so that sucks too,” Eileen signed, pouting. Y/N frowned and held her hand across the table, squeezing it.

“So, what do you guys say?” Sam asked, raising an eyebrow. “You want to go?”

Dean and Y/N looked at each other. A smile grew on her face, not even having to think it over. Dean smirked, biting his lip. He turned to Sam and gave him a simple nod. “Hell yeah, we’re in.”

“Great, I’ll let him know,” Sam informed, quickly taking out his phone and sending a text to his friend.

They all continued eating, talking and laughing as the sun completely set, enjoying the summer breeze that blew around them. As Sam and Eileen left and Dean and Y/N got ready for bed, neither of them could keep the smiles off their faces. A little two-week getaway to California was exactly what they needed, and Y/N couldn’t wait to spend some uninterrupted, quality time with her boyfriend.

“So, you’re really not going to tell me why we’re driving instead of flying to California?”

Y/N dumped her bags in the trunk of the Impala, standing in front of Dean as he closed it and she waited for him to say something to her question. It was the same one that had come up a few days ago, while Dean and Y/N were at John and Mary’s for dinner. After she asked why they weren’t flying, his parents both laughed quietly to themselves and John added a “I’m sure Dean will tell you eventually” and left her to figure out the rest.

Dean got into the driver’s seat as Y/N got into the passenger’s side and turned to him, eying him suspiciously. He looked through his box of cassette tapes, ignoring her as she looked at him. She narrowed her eyes as a thought came to her, and the realisation quickly dawned on her as her eyes widened.

“Dean Winchester… are you scared of flying?” she asked, an amused smile gracing her face.

“No.” He was lying, and he knew he had no reason to; it’s not like she would make fun of him for it, but it was a little embarrassing for him.

“Dean.” She got his attention, smiling at him when he looked at her, clearly annoyed that she had figured it out. “It’s okay. It’s not a big deal.”

“Exactly, so let’s forget about it,” he mumbled, choosing a tape and shoving the box back under the seat.

“You know that it’s the fastest and safest form travel, though, right?” she asked. She wanted to make him see there was nothing to fear. “And I would be right next you, talking you through the whole thing if you got scared.”

“Yeah, you’re not getting me in one of those flying death traps, sweetheart,” he declared, shoving the tape into the player.

She laughed, shaking her head. “Fine. You win. For now.”

The tape began to play, causing her to sigh as she heard the first few notes of “Going to California” by Led Zeppelin play out.

“A little on the nose, huh?” he asked, chuckling.

“A little, but it’s good,” she replied, leaning over and kissing him, softly.

“Alright,” he said, turning the key in the ignition of the Impala, grinning as it came to life. He turned to her, the smile not leaving his face. “You ready?”

“Absolutely,” she said, smiling wide.

Dean backed out of the driveway and took one last glance at the house, speeding off down the street, more than ready to spend two weeks in sunny California.

They drove for 11 hours, taking turns in driving after they would take a break at a rest stop. Y/N was glad he trusted her enough to drive his beloved Baby, after she had reassured him that she had driven an older car before and would be able to handle it. Luckily, it didn’t take too long for him to agree. However, when neither of them could afford to keep their eyes open any longer, Dean pulled into a motel somewhere outside of Albuquerque, New Mexico. Their heads hit the pillows of the uncomfortable bed and they fell asleep instantly, not caring what the mattress felt like because of how exhausted they were.

The next morning, they woke up early and got ready, had breakfast at a small diner across the street from the motel and were back on the road after they had eaten. Once again taking turns, they made it to Malibu in 10 hours, with Dean not really taking speed limits into account, citing he wanted to get there sooner. Y/N was annoyed but she couldn’t be too mad at him, knowing she couldn’t wait to get there either. By the time Dean did his poor rendition of Free Fallin’, it was around 6pm when they got there, stopping at a grocery store and picking up things they would need, before driving to the house.

As Dean drove down the streets lined with fancy beach houses, both he and Y/N started to feel a little awkward as they passed each one, knowing this wasn’t something they were used to. Looking down at her phone, Y/N confirmed the address and Dean pulled into the driveway, turning the car off. They both stared up at the white, two-storey house with large windows, a freshly mowed lawn and long path leading up to the front steps.

“Is it too late to go back?” he asked, turning to her.

She shook her head, moving across the seat and leaning into him. “We’re not going anywhere, but inside that house and just having a great two weeks to ourselves.”

“Damn straight,” he nodded with a small smile, leaning in to kiss her cheek.

He got out of the Impala and went over to the trunk, taking out the bags and closing it as Y/N walked ahead of him.

She keyed in the number on the lockbox that was given to them by Sam after he spoke to his friend, and took out the key to the large double doors of the house. She unlocked the door and swung them open, gasping as she walked in. The house was big but modest, which was a pleasant surprise as she walked through. Everything was open concept, the kitchen and living area leading out to the outdoor area, which had an amazing view of the ocean. Dean came in and dropped the bags near the staircase, immediately standing next to her as they looked out at the Pacific coast.

“I was right,” she muttered, quietly as the ocean breeze blew her hair back softly. “This must be the life.”

“Damn,” Dean whispered as he looked out at the sparkling blue ocean. A life like this wouldn’t be so bad he thought to himself as he walked out onto the balcony.

There were a few wicker armchairs, a coffee table and benches outside, along with a wooden dining set and on the far side of the outdoor area was a fire pit, with a few chairs around it. He sighed happily, smirking when he felt Y/N’s arms wrap around his waist, her lips pressing a soft kiss to the nape of his neck.

“Should we unpack?” she asked, softly as her lips brushed the skin of his neck.

“Yeah,” he replied, turning around and taking her hand in his as they walked into the house.

They both couldn’t wait to kick off their little trip in the golden state.

Y/N sighed contently, feeling the warmth of the sun against her face as it hit the shade above her. She crossed her bare legs that were out of the shade, extended on the beach chair and getting a great tan going. Pulling down her sunglasses with her finger, she smiled as she spotted her boyfriend coming out of the water, her own personal James Bond walking towards her, as he shook off the seawater from his hair. Beads of water dripped down his muscles, glistening as the sun shined down on him. She bit her lip as she thought about everything that she couldn’t wait to do with him when they got back to the house. He smirked at her as he got to the lounge chair, picking up his towel and wiping himself down.

They had been in California for a few days and were having an incredible time. They had spent their days exploring Malibu and the surrounding areas, driving around in the Impala and stopping whenever they would see a look-out spot, taking a selfie everywhere they went. They had made dinner and just relaxed for a few nights at the house, but later that night they were going out for dinner to a restaurant they saw while they were driving around and really wanted to go to.

Y/N continued to watch Dean as he sat down on the beach chair next to hers, the shade covering his face as he leaned back. He turned his head and smirked at her, giving her a wink.

“You’re so obvious, you know that right?” he teased, knowing she had been checking him out.

“Shut up,” she mumbled, pushing her glasses up.

He chuckled, looking out at the gorgeous view in front of him.

“Water’s great, not too cold right now,” he told her, his eyes closing as he felt the sun over the shade warming his face.

“Might have to get in later,” she said, smiling but was more than happy to stay there and enjoy the view in front of her.

“Or… now,” Dean suggested, standing up from the beach chair and holding his hand out to her. His eyes roamed over her red with white polka dots high waist bikini, his lip tucking in between his teeth as he gazed at her.

“But I’m so comfortable,” she protested, wriggling in against the chair. “And you were just in the water.”

He chuckled, shaking his head. He leaned down and took her hand in his, tugging on it. “Come on, sweetheart. You’re coming in with me.”

She looked up at him with a frown but gazed out at the ocean, the waves mesmerizing as they came up and receded back.

“Alright,” she agreed, a smile playing at her lips. She got up and took off her wide-brim beach hat, dropping it on the chair along with her sunglasses. Her hand slipped back into his, as they walked out towards the water.

Dean and Y/N moved through the waves and under once they got to waist height. They swam and splashed around, laughing and enjoying their time in the water. They stayed for a while, before they knew they had to get out and back to the house. They swam to the shore, walking out onto the sand and wiping themselves down before packing up the chairs and their belongings. They walked from the public beach to the private one the property was situated on, leaving the chairs and soiled flip-flops in the lower mud room before they walked up the stairs to the house.

They took turns having a shower, as Y/N refused Dean’s offer of showering together to avoid the obvious distraction that he always posed whenever they did. After she had freshened up, Y/N took a little time to get ready, wanting things to be perfect. There wasn’t anything different about tonight, but she still wanted to make it special for the two of them. This was their first little trip together and it had been wonderful so far, so she couldn’t wait to continue to have an amazing time with Dean for the rest of their days there.

She kept her make-up light and her hair open, sweeping it over her shoulder. She wore a red A-line dress with small, white floral pattern and a sweetheart neckline with off-shoulder straps. She put on her strappy nude heels, picked up her purse and walked out of the bedroom, her heels loud against the wood planks of the staircase.

Dean was dressed in a navy-blue half-sleeve, button-up shirt, blue jeans and his boots and sitting in the living area, waiting on Y/N. He looked up when he heard her shoes against the wooden floors, smiling when he saw her. He got up from the armchair and met her halfway, stopping in front of her to cup her face in his hands. He leaned in, kissing her softly before he pulled away, grinning at her.

“You look amazing,” he told her, his smile beaming.

She felt her cheeks heat up as she leaned against him, wrapping her arms around his neck. “You clean up pretty well, too, handsome.”

“Ready?” he asked, moving back and instantly taking her hand in his.

“Ready,” she confirmed, smiling.

They left the house and locked up, Dean walking to the car and opening the door for Y/N. She pecked his lips before getting in, watching as he closed her door and then walked over to the driver’s side. He got in and smiled at her, immediately starting the car and backing out of the driveway, heading in the direction of the restaurant. Dean parked down the street once they arrived, taking Y/N’s hand as they walked down. Having made a reservation already, they were led to their table quickly, in the back outdoor area, sitting across from each other. There were fairy lights above them, wrapped around the beams and a candle at each table, bathing the area in a warm glow. Y/N beamed as she watched Dean taking everything in, a soft, peaceful smile on his face. She was so glad he was getting this break from work, knowing he deserved a little time off after working so hard.

The waitress came around and took their drink orders, coming back quickly with Dean’s beer and Y/N’s Negroni. She leaned forward on the table, taking Dean’s hand in hers and clasping it, tightly. There was a peaceful hum of patrons around them, but she didn’t see anything past the love of her life in front of her.

“You okay, sweetheart?” he asked, softly.

She nodded, looking down at their joined hands. “I am. I don’t think I’ve ever been more okay in my life.”

He grinned, unable to stop his heart from skipping a beat when he heard what she said. He felt exactly the same way.

“I guess Sammy didn’t have such a bad idea about us coming here, huh?” he asked, chuckling softly.

“Definitely not,” she replied, shaking her head as she sipped her cocktail. “I’m so glad we could do this.”

“Me too,” he agreed, bringing her hand to his lips and placing a soft kiss on her knuckles.

After their drinks, they ordered dinner. As they ate, Y/N looked around to see that a live band had started, smiling as they played a few familiar tunes, causing people at other tables to sing along. As the waitress cleared their plates, Dean looked over at Y/N and smiled, seeing her lost in the music as she swayed to it.

“Ready to go?” he asked. He smiled when she turned around and faced him, a content expression on her face. “Maybe we can take a walk along the pier?”

“Yeah,” she said, softly as she nodded. She picked up her purse and followed him out once they returned his card, linking her hand with his as they walked down to the pier.

The weather was perfect, a pleasant breeze dancing around them, the salty sea air mixing through it. They walked along the pier, hand in hand, in a slow and peaceful pace, the waves washing up onto the shore along with the music coming from the restaurant the only sounds that they could hear. Dean turned to face Y/N, as his hand moved around her hip and brought her close to him, taking her hand in his as her other one curved over his shoulder. They swayed back and forth slowly, basking in the serenity around them.

“Kinda wanted it to be just us when we did this,” he told her, looking down into her eyes.

“Good call,” she stated, leaning up and kissing him, softly. “This is much better.”

“Can I… Can I ask you something?” he wondered, clearing his throat nervously.

She nodded, smiling up at him. “Of course.”

“I know… I know we put getting married and having kids on the table real early, but…” he started, but took a deep breath as he gathered his thoughts to speak coherently. “You still want all those things, right?”

She was slightly taken aback, but a reassuring smile graced her face. “Dean… I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t.”

He breathed out, relieved as he nodded. “I know that, I do. I just-”

Y/N leaned up, pushing herself up onto her tiptoes despite wearing heels, and kissed him, stopping whatever negative thought he was about to have. She kissed him sensually, putting everything she felt for him into it, before she pulled away and looked into his eyes.

“When it comes to what I want for us… there’s nothing for you to worry about, Dean,” she said, as she moved in closer, resting her head against his chest as they swayed to the music. “I love you and I know we’re going to spend our lives together, forever.”

“I love you,” he whispered, leaning his cheek against her head.

Y/N’s hand left his and moved up around his neck, the other sliding up from his shoulder to lock around him, as she pushed herself up and kissed him, a little harder than before. Dean’s hands wrapped around her waist, pulling her up as he held her close, her feet dangling above the ground. Suddenly desperate for each other, she tugged at the collar of shirt as their lips moved against each other’s, unable to pull away. She nipped at his bottom lip as her hands moved into his short hair, bringing him closer to her.

Dean pulled away, however, breathing heavily as he smirked at her. “Let’s get outta here.”

Dean put Y/N down, their hands immediately linking as they rushed down the pier, her heels loud against the wooden planks as they hurried back to the car. Dean drove at the required speed, getting annoyed as he wanted nothing more than to hightail it back to the house. It didn’t help that Y/N had slid over on the bench seat, kissing and nipping at his neck, distracting him.

“Sweetheart, you gotta stop or we won’t make it back,” he said, a choked laugh leaving his mouth as she sucked at his pulse point.

“Fine.” She sighed, annoyed that she had stop as she moved away from him, sliding back against the passenger side of the car. She had been more than ready for him all day, their day out at the beach only making her desire for him stronger.

They made it back to the house a few short moments later and hurried to the entrance. Y/N struggled to open the door as Dean wrapped his arms around her waist, his turn to pay attention to the soft skin of her neck with his lips. She turned the lock and it finally clicked, swinging the door open as they staggered in. Y/N turned to Dean and wrapped her arms around his neck, kissing him deeply. He kicked the door closed, both of them stumbling further into the house.

“Dean,” she moaned, her lips brushing against his. “I need you.”

“Fuck, I need you too, sweetheart,” he groaned, in between kisses. “Been teasing me all day, especially in that bikini…”

He picked her up, her legs automatically wrapping around his waist as he held her tight. She bit her lip as she looked into his eyes, moving in to kiss him again, their mouths rough and sensual against each other. She felt the bulge of his jeans against her, knowing he was hard already. He walked them towards the staircase, relying on instinct to get up to the bedroom, considering he couldn’t see anything past Y/N and her lips against his. He made it up to the room without tripping, setting her down as his hands moved to the zip on the side of her dress. She smiled up at him as she made quick work of unbuttoning his shirt, pushing it off his shoulders. She shimmied out of the dress once he pulled the zipper down, letting it fall and pool around her feet, leaving her in a pastel pink strapless bra and matching lace panties.

“So beautiful,” he whispered, as he leaned in and kissed her again, a little softer this time. However, knowing how much he wanted her after a day where the tension was building up constantly, he deepened the kiss.

Y/N walked backwards as she undid his belt and unzipped his jeans, blindly, the action second nature to her after having done it so many times. Dean placed his hands on her waist and pushed her onto the bed, only rough enough for a small moan to leave her as she looked up at him. He bent down and took off his boots, ridding himself of his jeans and boxers at the same time. His hard cock sprung free from the confines of his boxers, causing her to bite her lip at the sight. No matter how many times she had seen him naked, it still stunned her that she got to have him.

She sat up on the bed, moving to sit on the edge and closer to Dean. She looked up at him with that smile of hers he loved, that mischievous one that always let him know what kind of mood she was in and took hold of his cock. Dropping some of her saliva onto his shaft, her hand wrapped around and pumped up and down, slowly at first but started to build up. She leaned forward, her mouth sucking at the tip of cock, licking away the pre-cum. She sunk her mouth lower, taking him in inch by inch, until he hit the back of her throat. Dean groaned as she began to bob her head, his hands cupping her face as he looked down her. She looked up at him as she moved back and forth, her mouth gliding over his cock, her hand wrapped around the base in a light grip.

“Fuck, you’re too good at that, sweetheart,” he groaned out, his thumb stroking her hollowed cheek.

Pulling back, she licked at the tip of cock, her tongue circling it. She grinned as her hand stroked him and she leaned forward, kissing his hip bone. “You love seeing your cock in my mouth, don’t you?”

He growled as he cupped her face and leaned down, kissing her roughly. “Fuck yeah, love it so much,” he muttered against her lips.

“You taste so good, Dean,” she sighed, pecking his lips.

He hummed as he kissed her again, his hands moving to her shoulders as he lightly pushed her, her back hitting the bed. “So do you, gorgeous.”

Moving over her, he leaned down to kiss along her neck, leaving soft nips at her skin. He drifted down, his lips leaving a trail of kisses down her chest, nipping at her covered breasts, down her stomach and stopping at her covered mound. He kissed her inner thigh, his fingers rubbing over her panties, feeling how wet she already was.

“Did sucking my cock get you this wet, baby?” he asked, chuckling.

She looked down the length of her body, their eyes meeting as she nodded.

He grinned as his fingers slipped into the edge of her panties, pulling them down and over her legs, tossing them over his shoulder.

“So beautiful,” he whispered, as he leaned down and planted a soft kiss to her sex. A low moan left her mouth, her hands gripping the covers beneath her as her eyes fluttered closed in anticipation of what was about to happen. The things he could do with his mouth still amazed her.

With his tongue, he licked a long stripe from her entrance to her clit, lightly circling the nub. Pressing his mouth over it, his tongue continued to move around the bundle of nerves, causing a moan to fall from her lips.

“Fuck,” she sighed, as she looked down at him. She threw her head back when he drifted down, his tongue licking along the length of her folds before it moved down her entrance. He alternated between sucking at her clit and licking her folds, bringing his fingers to her wet canal and inserting them, thrusting them in and out in a slow rhythm, but picking up the pace as her moans became louder.

“You taste so fucking incredible, Y/N,” he groaned between his ministrations, looking up at her.

“Feels so good,” she moaned loudly, gripping his hair tightly in her hands, bringing him in closer. “Oh god, Dean… fuck, I-I love what you do to me.”

He grinned as his fingers moved steadily within her, ready to bring her to the edge. “Yeah? You love feeling my tongue on your clit, sweetheart?”

“Yeah,” she gasped, as her hands continued to comb through his short hair.

“You love my fingers inside you?” he asked, emphasising the question by moving them a little faster, the pads of his fingers rubbing along her walls. He felt her clench around them, signalling she was close.

“Fuck, yeah,” she moaned, breathlessly. “I fucking love them so much.”

He smiled against her sex, kissing her skin as he looked up at her. “You’re close, aren’t you, Y/N?”

“Yeah, so close.” She nodded, frantically, ready to let go. “Make me cum, Dean.”

“You wanna cum on tongue, don’t you?” He smirked, already knowing that’s what she would want.

“Yeah, wanna cum on your tongue,” she whimpered.

Dean leaned in, sucking the nub into his mouth, his fingers picking up the pace. He thrust in and out of her, feeling her grip around him as he moved them within her. He felt her getting wetter, knowing she was close. He moved his mouth down, her moans rising in volume as his fingers continued. The coil in her stomach tightened more and more, bringing her closer to her release.

“Dean, oh my god! Fuck!” she shrieked, as the coil snapped. She moaned through her release, wetting Dean’s fingers and his mouth, his tongue lapping up her juices and continuing to lazily thrust his fingers as she came down from her high.

When he was satisfied that he taken everything she gave him, Dean leaned up and hovered over her, leaning down to kiss Y/N. She moaned at the taste of herself on his tongue, wrapping her arms around his neck and bringing him closer. She pushed her body into him and turned, rolling him onto his back while he was distracted by her lips. Pulling away, she sat up and looked into his eyes. He smiled as he looked up at her, his hands sliding over the smooth skin of her legs.

She planted her hands on his chest, shifting back until she felt his cock against her heat. Reaching down with her right hand, she took a hold of his cock as she lifted herself up, lining it up to her entrance. She sighed, letting out a shaky breath as she sank down, his length completely sheathed by her walls. Dean groaned as he felt her heat around his cock, his hands moving up to her hips and holding onto her. She began to rock back and forth, her hips thrusting down as he brought his up to meet hers, in a slow and sensual pace. She ran her fingers along his chest, moaning softly.

“How do I feel, Dean?” she asked, as she looked down at him. She grinded her hips down, feeling his cock deep within her.

“Amazing,” he replied, as he smiled up at her. He let her control the rhythm, meeting her hips as he thrusted up into her.

She leaned down, bringing her face closer to his. “You love feeling me wrapped around your cock, don’t you?” she asked, her voice low and husky.

“Fucking love it, sweetheart,” he growled, gripping her hips tighter in his hands.

“Love feeling you inside me, Dean,” she whispered against his lips, kissing him softly. “Love feeling your big cock inside my tight, wet pussy.”

“Fuck, Y/N,” he groaned, looking into her eyes. Holding her close, he sat up, his chest pressing against her covered breasts. His hands moved up her back, unclasping her bra and pulling it away from her body. He leaned in, kissing the soft flesh of her breasts, leaving soft bites along her skin. Her hands combed into his hair, bringing him closer into her. She moaned as she felt him take her left nipple into his mouth, licking over the nub, stiff from the air in the room.

“I love you so much, Dean,” she whispered into his ear, her fingertips lightly scraping through his hair. “I love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone.”

Releasing her nipple with slight pop, he looked up into her eyes, as she continued rock her hips down on his.

“You don’t ever have to worry about how I feel,” she reassured him, reiterating what she told him at the pier. “I’m yours. Forever.”

She leaned down, kissing him passionately as she gripped the hair at the nape of his neck. His hands moved up her back as he pulled her in, not wanting to let go of her. He was completely floored by the love he saw in her eyes. He knew he shouldn’t be; he knew she loved him, but somehow it still shocked him that anyone could love him as much as she did. Yet again, he thought about grateful he was for her.

“I love you so fucking much, Y/N,” he whispered back, his breath brushing against her lips.

She moaned, feeling the pressure in her belly building up again, as she continued to meet his thrusts.

“Dean,” she moaned against his lips, looking into his eyes. Her hips picked up pace, chasing her release. “I’m so close.”

“Me too, sweetheart,” he muttered, as he held her tighter.

The familiar feeling rose in her stomach, telling her she was closer as their hips continued to smack into each other, their thrusts faster than before.

“Cum with me,” she whimpered, her eyes not looking away from his, not even for a second. “Dean, please… cum with me.”

“Oh fuck, Y/N,” he groaned. His hands flew down to her hips, gripping tight as he felt his cock pulse inside her, her walls clenching around him. “Fuck, let go for me, sweetheart. Fucking cum on my cock.”

For a second time that night, the band snapped, a string of moans erupting from her lips as she threw her head back, her hands tight in his hair. He grunted as he dropped his head onto her shoulder. He felt his cock throb, a strangled moan leaving his mouth as spurts of cum bathed her walls, mixing with her climax.

They breathed heavily as they came down from their high, feeling only the frantic heartbeats in their chests. As they started to come down, the rush of the waves on the beach reached their ears from the open door to the balcony. Dean lifted his head from Y/N’s shoulder, his hands coming up to cup her face, bringing her close to him. He kissed her, lovingly as he held her tight. He didn’t want to let go of her. Hearing her words as they made love made his heart soar. He had never felt that way before her. Y/N picked up on his quietness, pulling away to look into his eyes.

“You okay?” she asked, smiling softly.

Dean smiled in return, nodding slowly. “Never been better, gorgeous.”

Y/N squealed and laughed as Dean turned them over, throwing her down on the bed. They continued their passionate exchange into the early hours, finally falling asleep to the moon shining into the room and the soothing sounds of the ocean.

The next two weeks flew by, and before they knew it, it was time for Dean and Y/N to leave the beach house behind and return to their normal lives in Lawrence. Dean packed up the Impala, a small frown on his face as he did so. He didn’t want to leave, having had such an amazing time there with his girlfriend. They had so much fun together, swimming in the ocean during the day, walks on the beach at night, going out for dinner or cooking at the house, and absolutely ravishing each other after all of it. This trip had not only been relaxing, but a great eye-opener for him. He already knew he wanted to spend the rest of his life with Y/N but hearing it from her only solidified the decision he had already made.

He was going to ask Y/N to marry him.

It may have seemed too early in their relationship to think that way, but if he could’ve married her back at Christmas, one kiss into their relationship and all, he would’ve done it in a heartbeat. As he closed the trunk and leaned against the car to wait for Y/N, he started thinking about how to go about things. He knew he had to talk to his mom about her ring, hoping that it would be okay with her to give it to Y/N.

He lifted his head as he heard the front door to the house shut. He smiled as he saw Y/N walking down the path, her long, printed summer dress flowing in the breeze as she came towards him. She smiled softly as she got closer to him, an eyebrow lifted as she saw his expression.

“What?” she asked, laughing slightly.

He shook his head, not wanting her to clue into anything he was thinking just yet. “Nothing. Just… thank you.”

“For what?” She stood in front of him, placing her hands on his shoulders as she looked at him.

“For coming with me on this trip, for dealing with me… for just being amazing,” he told her, placing his hands on her hips.

“You’re pretty easy to deal with, Dean Winchester,” she said, softly as she leaned up, kissing him.

“You say that now,” he said, chuckling.

“I’ll say it always,” she countered, kissing him again quickly, before she moved away to the passenger side of the car.

As they pulled away from the house and made their way onto the highway, Dean smirked as he looked out at the road ahead of him. He glanced at Y/N, smiling as he saw her texting, no doubt telling Sam they had left and would be back home in a day. As he drove, he couldn’t help but think about everything that had changed in his life, and how much more it would continue to do so. He couldn’t help but think about how happy he was, how much more confident he was in himself, and how much better his life had become.

For all of that and so much more, he knew he had the beautiful woman sitting beside him to thank.

-x-

If you’re crossed out, I can’t tag you :(

Tags: @deanwanddamons @winchest09 @downanddirtydean @jensengirl83 @wonder-cole @that-one-gay-girl @flamencodiva @ellewritesfix05 @roonyxx @akshi8278 @hobby27 @michellethetvaddict @spngirl05 @kyjey @halesandy @440mxs-wife @stoneyggirl @deanswaywardgirl @redbarn1995 @marianita195 @babypink224221 @deans-baby-momma @parinarain @thoughts-and-funnies @mandalou29 @jerkbitchidjitassbutt @superaveng @supernatural-love14 @vicmc624 @prettyboyswow @lunarmoon8 @supernatural-bellawinchester​

[oblxvion]

euphoric | eren jaeger (3)

-> pairing: eren jaeger x f!reader

-> wc: 3.3k

-> warnings: swearing, fluff kinda, angst

it had been a week since you’d last seen eren, and you had just finished your exams. you plopped down onto your bed, exhausted but yet relieved that you had finished the tests. you had spent a large portion of the past couple weeks prepping for this and you really hoped that you had gotten a good grade to bring the ones you currently had to a better mark. 

now that you were finally done, you had time to relax and focus on yourself. you had planned to spend time with friends to make up for some of the time that you had lost while drowning yourself in your studies. you picked up your phone, lazily scrolling through your socials and texts messages.

you and eren had been talking quite a lot since he had been at your house. the flirty texts back and fourth, it almost seemed too good. it felt unreal, the way that you and him seemed to suddenly jump into what was almost a relationship. you didn’t question it though, you were happy. although he had a reputation, it didn’t bother you because you knew how he felt for you and how you felt for him, you weren’t intimidated at all.

“y/n? earth to y/n!” sasha brought you out of your trance while waving her hand in your face. 

“oh, fuck, yeah sash, what’s up?” you smiled sheepishly, you had been spacing out a lot recently and it did not go unnoticed by her.

“you keep spacing out,” she chuckles as she opens the fridge, grabbing herself some strawberries. “something on your mind?” she knew you too well.

“oh, it’s nothing,” you laughed nervously as you scratched the back of your head. you had pretty much given yourself away and she gave you a look. “okay, fine. i was thinking about eren, and my situation with him.”

“what about it?” 

“well, it’s just that it feels too good to be true, you know? i just don’t want something to happen and then i get heartbroken once again.” you told her, placing your phone down and playing with your fingers in the process; it was a habit of yours.

“what are you worrying about? you’re not seeing anyone other than eren and i can assure you that he isn’t seeing anyone else either.” she responds with a mouth full of fruit which earned a laugh out of you. sasha is very protective of you, you knew that. and if eren did anything to mess with you or hurt your feelings, she would ruin him. 

“yeah, but he’s had history with girls and…” you trailed off, not knowing how to go about this. you didn’t know why it was hard to talk about because sasha was the one who had told you about his previous flings with other girls in the past. it shouldn’t bother you, but now talking with sasha about it, it made you feel weird.

“and?” she asks as she placed the food back into the fridge before coming down and sitting across from you at your shared table. sasha could sense that there was uneasiness going on and she didn’t want to push you. “why don’t you talk to him? you could maybe set boundaries or even establish your relationship together so you won’t have anything to worry about.”

“yeah,” sasha’s words were making you feel better, she always knew what to do. “i’ll text him and we can maybe meet somewhere to talk.” you felt a bit better, knowing that you’d soon confirm the relationship between the two of you. she smiled at you, and told you to text him so you could figure out plans. you thanked her and made your way to your room opening eren’s contact number and pressing his number.

it rang a few times before it went to voicemail. voicemail? maybe he’s busy? other thoughts began pouring into your head, but you immediately shut them down. you trusted eren, he wouldn’t do anything to hurt you. after the voicemail operator stopped talking, you left him a message.

“hey eren, you’re probably busy right now but i just wanted to see if you were available later today so we could talk. it’s nothing bad though, i also just miss you. get back to me when you can.” 

you shut off your phone, placing it beside you as you reached for your computer to watch some anime that you had missed while being so preoccupied with your studying. occasionally you would look over to your phone to see if he got back to you, but he hadn’t. 

you were about halfway done with watching the 3rd episode of your show when you heard your phone buzz. you reached for your phone embarrassingly fast to see the texts.

eren jaeger

hey i’m so sorry i just saw u called

i was napping but yeah we definitely can talk later

what time are u free

you chuckled quietly and felt somewhat relieved that he was at home. you quickly responded to him with ideas.

y/n

oh dw about it

i’m free whenever i don’t really have much to do 

eren jaeger

we can go to a cafe if u wanna and chat there

i need food anyways lol

y/n 

ok lol we can go to the cafe downtown if that works

1:30?

eren jaeger

ok baby

i’ll see u then :)

even though it was a small text interaction between the two of you, it left your heart fluttering. it was around 12:45 so you had time to change into something more presentable but still comfortable for your liking. you decided that you would go early because you had to go to the store and buy some more shampoo and conditioner because you had just used the last bit of it this morning. 

when you walked out of your room, sasha was watching tv while texting someone who you assumed to be niccolo. she had seen him a few times the past week and you thought what they had was adorable. she would go over those nights and he would have a full course meal already prepared for her. imagine being in a relationship with a chef, that would be amazing.

“hey sash?” you asked as you slipped on your shoes, placing your hand on the door handle while reaching for your car keys.

“hm?” she looked up from her phone, and put two and two together. “you’re gonna talk to him?”

“yeah, i’ll be back later. i need to grab some stuff from the store though, text me if you need anything, ‘kay?” you smiled at her as you walked through the door. you heard her yell okay and that she’d text you if she needed something later. you made your way down to the entrance of your apartment complex and got into your car. you felt a bit tense, but you knew you were overreacting and that everything would be fine. 

you played your playlist while you drove, it calmed you down a bit more and you parked in the parking lot of the supermarket which was a five minute walk away from the cafe that you and eren had agreed to meet at. it was around 1:00 and you wanted to make the trip to the store quickly, double checking your phone to see if there was anything that sasha wanted. she hadn’t texted, so you went inside and went to find your favorite hair products. you grabbed the two that you liked, and made your way towards the front of the store to check out before you bumped into someone.

“y/n?” you looked up and saw jean standing in front of you. 

“oh, hi!” you backed up to meet his eyes, feeling embarrassed that you had not been watching where you were going. “i’m so sorry, i wasn’t paying attention.”

“no worries, what’re you up to?” 

“oh nothing, i was just getting some stuff and i’m supposed to be meeting eren in a few.” you responded, eying the isles to see if there was anything else that you needed. 

“that’s nice,” he said with a smile. “are you guys together yet?” the word yet made you feel jittery, it meant that eren had talked about the possibility of a relationship with jean, someone who he always is butting heads with.

“actually, that’s what i was going to talk to him about…” you laughed sheepishly, trying not to seem to eager about it. “what’re you doing?” 

“i was just getting some shit for connie because he wants something good tonight. i swear, hanging around sasha has made him a food monster like her. it’s crazy.” you couldn’t help but giggle at his remark. connie and sasha’s friendship was truly funny.

“well, have fun with that! i have to go because i don’t want to be late but we should all hangout again! that was fun!” you replied as you looked at your phone to check the time, which you had 15 minutes so it was perfect.

“yeah, if i don’t have to third wheel again.” you felt your face heat up at the comment. “nah, i’m playing. have fun!” he waves goodbye as he makes his way to the food section of the store and you walked towards the register.

after you finished paying, you made your way back to your car and placed your bag in the passenger seat. you had enough time to walk over to the cafe, and plus, you felt like you needed some exercise. 

you had an idea of what you wanted to say to eren. it was just that you wanted to confirm your relationship and make it exclusive, and after hearing the comment jean made, you knew that he felt the same way about it. it wasn’t long before you arrived in front of the cafe and you went into the back to where the seats were. you made a order for your favorite baked treat and sat down at a two seated table while you waited for eren. you checked your phone, scrolling through tik tok and instagram when you felt two hands on your shoulders, causing you to jolt in surprise.

“hi baby,” he whispered into your ear before giving you a quick peck on the cheek.

“hi eren,” you laughed, placing your phone down onto the table.

“what’s up?” he asked as he made his way over to the seat in front of you. he was wearing a black crewneck with gray sweatpants and vans, hair in a messy bun as per usual.

“nothing, i just missed you. are you gonna get something to eat?” you asked, looking over to the register.

“i placed an order and then i came over to you, how’ve you been? i haven’t seen you for a bit.”

“i’ve been good, i’m really glad that my exams are over. i now have time to relax,” you smiled at him as you scooted your chair closer to the table. you had truly been overwhelmed with all the studying and now you felt relieved that you now had free time to do what you wanted. 

“and to spend some time with me, right?” he teased as he gave you a playful smile. the little things that he does pulled on your heartstrings.

“no.” he gasped, placing his hand over his chest. “of course, idiot.”

“good,” he chuckled. “you know you love me.”

“you knew that already!” you whined as you gave him a cheeky smile. you and eren both caught up with each others lives. he told you that armin and annie had gotten together, and how mikasa was starting to see jean but that she also wanted to pursue with school so she didn’t want many distractions. you told him about how sasha and niccolo had been spending a lot of time together and how you thought they were perfect for each other. your food was brought to you by one of the employees and you both thanked them as you began to eat.

“so, what’d you wanna talk about?” he asked as he took a bite into his muffin with his coffee in the other hand.

“i just wanted to know if we were exclusive and stuff…” you couldn’t finish your sentence before eren started to stifle a laugh.

“i thought it was obvious,” he swallowed his food before continuing to talk. “we’re exclusive, i’m not seeing or talking to anyone else besides you. no one else interests me besides you.”

“oh, i guess i’m just blind,” you felt relieved at him saying that, you were worried for no reason. “i was just nervous because sasha told me about historia and i-” 

“historia?” he interrupts you. “what’d she say?”

“just that you guys were fuck buddies in the past and that you’re over now and all that stuff,” you responded, trying to sound as nonchalant as you could. you didn’t want him to notice that it was a touchy subject. he knew that you had bad experiences with relationships in the past but you were never one to really be insecure of past relationships that your partner had.

“i see, we don’t really talk anymore, so you had nothing to worry about.”

“okay, go- ” before you could finish your sentence, you heard someones voice so you turned your head.

“eren?” 

a blonde girl with blue eyes, shorter than you stood between you and eren at the table. you felt your stomach twist as you put the pieces together. you weren’t sure if you had met her before or not, but she looked just like the girl that you were just speaking about.

“historia?” eren choked on his coffee, looking over to meet her eyes. you could tell that he was shocked and slightly uncomfortable. had she heard your conversation?

“oh my god, what a coincidence seeing you here! how have you been?” she smiled, maintaining eye contact with him before he looked back towards you.

“‘m fine, how have you been?” it was obvious that he was only trying to be polite but for some reason, her voice annoyed the shit out of you.

“i’ve been good!” she looks over to you and gives you a look before smiling and bringing her hand out. “we should-”

“no.”

“okay, you must be y/n? i’ve heard so much about you!” her comment made you feel uncomfortable, where had she heard about you from? 

“uh, hi!” you smiled at her and shook her hand. you had to at least be nice even though you felt like there was something weird going on, it was clear that you and eren were on a date and she had come over to talk. “where’d you hear about me from?”

“eren talks about you all the time!” talks? didn’t he just say-

“we haven’t talked in months.” eren interrupts, annoyance seeping through his voice. 

“that doesn’t matter!” she looked back over to eren with a huge smile on her face, as if she was waiting for him to show her any sort of attention. “he would talk about how much he cared about you when we would hang out and-” 

“enough, historia.” eren said, giving her a stern look before he looked over to you. “we’re kinda busy right now.” you stayed silent, you didn’t know what to feel but you weren’t about to let historia have her way right now. although you didn’t know her too well, you didn’t like the way she was acting.

“but i was just coming over to say hi! i haven’t met her before, i was trying to be nice!” you lost it, she was clearly trying to get at something here. she seemed like a nice person but the impression she was giving you right now was not good.

“listen, historia.” eren looked at you, his face tense. he had no idea what you were about to say but he could tell that you were beginning to get pissed off. “eren and i are on a date right now, and as much as i appreciate meeting you and all, i wanna spend some time with him because i haven’t seen him in a while.” she stood there, dumbfounded as you continued to speak to her. “so maybe if we could talk and get to know each other another time, that’d be great!”

“oh, uh, yeah of course!” she said as she stepped away. “i guess i’ll catch you later then. bye eren, bye y/n!” she smiled as she walked away and every ounce in your body told you that it was the fakest smile you had ever seen. you watched her walk away before letting out a sigh. it definitely did not seem that she was in a relationship with that ymir girl because she was clearly trying to talk to eren more, but who were you to say?

you and eren both sat there in silence before anyone said anything.

“i’m so-” you began before eren interrupted you once again.

“don’t. she’s hella annoying. that’s why i cut her off.” eren said as he looked over at you. he could tell you were uncomfortable and wanted to leave. “hey are you okay?”

“i’m fine, eren.” you snapped, face softening after you realized how mean you sounded. “i’m sorry, she just really annoyed me right there.”

“no, i get it. is there anything i can do?” he asked as you began to stand up from your chair in which he did as well. you picked up your trash and brought it to the trashcan, trying to steady your heartbeat. you were a bit rude to her but she was being rude too, was she? “do you wanna go home?”

“yeah.” he nodded his head in response and reached his hand out for you to hold. you interlocked your fingers with his as you both walked out. you both walked in silence, thinking about the interaction that had just taken place. you felt bad. you were a bitch to her but she was being annoying so what were you supposed to do? “did you drive?”

“hm? oh, no i didn’t. i live pretty close so i can walk home.” 

“i drove, so if you want a ride i can give you one,” you looked up at him with a smile. eren’s presence calmed you down, and he noticed that too. 

“yeah, i’d like that.” eren leaned down and gave you a quick kiss on your head, squeezing your hand in the process. you continued to walk back to the supermarket to where your car was parked  and made your way into the vehicle. he opened the passenger side and saw the bag that you had gotten earlier.

“you can just put that bag in the back, it has my shampoo since you used almost all of it when you were over,” you teased as you started the car. he smirked before sitting down next to you and putting on his seatbelt.

“you know how to get to my apartment right?” you gave him a playful look before backing out of your parking spot. “just messing with you.”

eren’s place wasn’t that far so it took you a few minutes to get there. you pulled into a spot and waiting for him to get out of the car after exchanging a kiss and just as he was about to get out of the car before he stopped and looked over to you. 

“what’s up?” you smiled, he looked like a lost puppy.

“do you wanna stay over for a bit? we can chill and watch something…” he trailed off once he heard your laughter. 

“sure,” you smiled and got out of the car and came over to the side that he was on. you poked your finger into his chest playfully, “you’re so needy!”

“needy, yeah?” he pulled you into a hug with your face buried into his chest, the smell of his cologne fogging your brain. “let’s see who’s gonna be needy later.”

a/n: im so sorry that this took so long i’ve been super busy but i will def try to upload more consistently these upcoming weeks!! this hasn't been edited cuz im tired rn but i will look over it later tonight if there is anything.

© all content belongs to oblxvion 2021, do not repost or change.

[boldlyvoid]

Amoreena | chapter thirteen

Chapter Thirteen

main summary: Heaven is a real place and it's located exactly 14.6 miles away from the FBI, Quantico Headquarters. Off behind a small park, under a fantastical willow tree surrounded by wildflowers, in every colour young minds can imagine.

Don't forget, heaven also comes with angels.

Chapter Warnings: fluff like unbelievably fluffy!

word count: 6.1

here's the playlist for the fic, the last song in the playlist if looped will lead right into Amoreena at the beginning and it works pretty well timing-wise if you like to listen while you read !!

from the beginning <3

All their bags were packed by Friday morning, Y/N and Amoreena waking up extra early with excitement for the weekend ahead of them, and they didn’t even know what was going to happen yet.

Y/N made sure everything was packed and ready for a 3rd time on Saturday morning, right before they left on the trip; making sure they had sunscreen and aloe vera, all her medicine and ginger ale by the pack for her random bouts of morning sickness that lasted all, day, long... And their dresses and his suit hanging behind the driver's seat, beside Amoreena, they all piled into Y/N’s car and took off down the road on their adventure.

Amoreena was awake for the first half of the 9-hour trip, singing like crazy as they drove through Washington, Baltimore, Philadelphia and New York, it was so amazing she couldn’t stop cheering the whole time. It was more than she’s ever seen before, even though they lived so close to New York, she’s never been through it before.

Once they arrived in Rhode Island, Spencer pulled over at the closest gas station to make sure the girls were all prepared and ready for the big surprise he had for them. They filled the car, used the restroom and bought some lemonade before getting back into the car, he turned in the driver's seat to see Amoreena and Y/N better, looking at their wide eyes memorizing the calmness in their faces before he told them.

He didn’t want them to freak out too much, he was worried about Y/N’s blood pressure and how loud she might scream and any stress that a situation like this could put on her body. He’s seen how people react to Taylor Swift, he just didn’t know how they would.

“Now, I'm only telling you so you don't freak out," he repeated the same worry she had when she broke the news of the baby, "I didn’t have to rent a place on the water because my friend lives up here, so we’re going to stay in her guest house,” he explained it simply.

“Rossi's wife?” Y/N asked, confused about who it could be and if she knew this woman yet.

“No, actually I think you might know her, her name is Taylor?”

“No,” she shakes her head furiously, “no, nope, there's no way you did this, Spencer Walter Reid I am not kidding I’m going to pass away if I see her.” She's holding both her hands in fists as she tries to stay calm, closing her eyes quickly before letting out a deep sigh.

“Taylor who?” Amoreena yells, undoing her seatbelt and standing between their seats, she almost jumps into his lap as she leans over and grabs a fistful of his shirt, “Taylor WHO?”

“Go get in your seat and I’ll show you,” he teases, watching her follow orders and get back in the seat as quickly as possible, shouting at him to drive the second he hears the seatbelt click again.

Y/N is completely speechless for the next 20 minutes of the drive, eyes wide and a hand on her stomach as she stares out the front window. She’s like a statue, not able to hear anything Amoreena is saying but that doesn't stop her from going on and on with her stories.

“Mom!” She’s finally able to break her out of the haze, “pass me your phone!”

“Yeah,” she doesn’t even question it, handing her the phone back to the antsy 7-year-old so she could continue her internal panic.

They see her house on the hill as they approach, “holy shit,” Y/N whispers as Amoreena turns on the last great American dynasty, knowing exactly where they were going.

Taylor asked for his licence plate number and car model when they were emailing, letting her gate guy know to let Spencer right in so he could keep it a secret. But they knew the house, there was no point in not telling them. Y/N looked a little relieved that he gave her the time to freak out alone and not as soon as they crested the hill.

Her driveway felt never-ending as they got closer and closer, Amoreena was still in disbelief as she squealed in the back seat, hands flailing as she tried to calm the excitement inside her body with her favourite stim.

Then Taylor walked out into the front yard and Y/N was a mess. Crying as she waved her hand in front of her face, not wanting to be a mess in front of Taylor fucking Swift, “I told you nothing crazy! How did you do this?”

“Yes, but I said 'define crazy’ and you didn’t,” he reminds her with a cheeky smile.

She shoves him, “I didn’t think you could do this?!”

Once they’re parked the door automatically unlocked, and as much as spencer hated that non-safety feature, he's glad Amoreena can get out quickly before she's screaming bloody murder. Amoreena is out the door and in Taylor’s arms faster than they’ve ever seen her move, she should be a track star. It almost knocks Taylor to the ground as she takes her in, holding the sweet little girl against her chest with the biggest smile on her face. Amoreena snuggles right into her, with a hand on her cheek and her other arm wrapped behind her neck. She couldn't be any closer to her, it was like she was her favourite relative who she hasn't seen in a while.

Amoreena is talking her ear off already by the time Spencer’s helping Y/N out of the car and walking her to Taylor, she’s holding his hand like she’s going to pass out or something, “and this is my mom Y/N and my dad Spencer but somehow you know him already,” Amoreena introduces her.

“Hi, Y/N, it's a pleasure to meet you, Spencer's told me a lot about you.” Taylor’s sweet voice saying her name alone makes her stutter out a bunch of nonsense, not to mention the fact Spencer's been talking to Taylor fucking Swift about her.

Amoreena moves out of the way for Taylor to wrap her up in a hug, and Y/N cries harder than he’s ever seen on her shoulder, “thank you,” is all she can say, it’s frightening to Amoreena at first to see her mom cry like that but she knows her mom just loves Taylor like family.

What she doesn’t know is just how much Taylor saved her life. If she didn’t have someone to listen to, someone to take the pain and replace it with hope, she wouldn’t be here and by default neither would Amoreena. Spencer owed everything to Taylor swift at this point, she was a blessing in his life that he took for granted. Not realizing until that moment just how much she meant to him as well now.

“Sorry,” Y/N finally says as she pulls off her, “I’m pregnant, I can’t help it.”

Taylor’s hands fly right to her stomach, “holy crap, you never told me that she’s pregnant in your emails, oh my god!” She’s genuinely so happy for them, “how far along are you?”

“6 weeks on Sunday,” she smiles, feeling like herself again even though it’s incredibly strange to be telling Taylor before her parents even knew. “No one really knows, it’s all very new but when you know, you know… y’know?”

For a woman with an English language degree, she sure knew how to make a sentence, all of them laughing at the words she chose, but they understood.

“We should have used paper rings!” Amoreena yells, holding her hand over her eyes in disbelief as she shares her head with a sigh, she couldn’t believe she forgot that song existed.

It made Taylor laugh, scooping the little one up in her arms and starting the walk inside.

“Well come on in, I’ve got a big lunch spread ready for us and then we can go to the beach for the ceremony whenever you want this weekend, does that sound good?” Taylor is beyond excited to make new friends, much like Amoreena, they got along famously.

“Where are the cats? Do they live here or in LA or Nashville?” Amoreena changed the topic in the form of a yes and proving just how much she knew about Taylor.

“They’re here, Olivia and Benjamin will probably find us soon, Meredith isn’t very open to new friends now that she’s an old lady,” Taylor explained as she set Amoreena down in the entryway, bending down to be at her level and pointing off into the living room, “oh, see, there one is!”

Amoreena saw one of them laying on the floor under a sunny spot, running to it and petting it gently, “hi Benjamin, I loved you in the ME video,” she whispers as she pets him, making Taylor swoon.

“She’s amazing,” Taylor swooned, “I can’t wait to have one.”

“You should!” Y/N agreed, reaching to take Taylor's hand on impulse, and Taylor held it back with a smile, “oh that would be so wonderful, I can just imagine the beautiful stories you’ll create when you discover what it’s like to love someone how your mom loves you.”

Taylor’s smile was priceless, "that's the best way to think about it," she beamed at Y/N the way Spencer did, she had that effect on people. They followed her into the dining room, taking a seat near each other and digging into all the food Taylor made for them.

“Ah,” Amoreena said as she finally joined them, sitting on her knees on Taylors nice antique chairs. “Shark coochie,” she whispers the words to herself, not able to stop her mind from repeating it, but still not wanting Taylor to hear it in case it was inappropriate. She was incredibly well-mannered for someone who had a hard time reading social queues.

“It’s a hard word to say,” Taylor agreed, making her feel less awkward. Spencer may have told her about her autism in advance, wanting his little girl to be respected by everyone she met, for who she truly was, “my mom called it a coochie spread once, actually, she's going to be over tomorrow for father's day.”

"Yes! Oh, I love Andrea," Amoreena laughed at how cool this day was, smiling at Taylor the way she smiled at him that first morning at breakfast like she just found yet another person to love. “You’re so wonderful, Taylor.”

“Oh, thank you, you're pretty enchanting yourself,” she smiles, “I take it you’ve known about me for your whole life?”

“Yep,” she smiled, reaching for a chocolate-covered strawberry and taking a huge bite, covering her mouth before she continued, “I was born a month after Red came out, November thirteenth, it really is a lucky number now, mom says so at least.”

“It is!” Taylor agreed with a smile, “I have some markers, do you want to wear matching 13’s today?”

“Mom, can I colour on my hand?” She turns so fast Spencer thinks she’ll get whiplash.

“Yeah, go for it!” She agrees, spreading cream cheese on a croissant and layering tomatoes on top, definitely pregnant.

So Taylor gets a marker and both their left hands now have matching numbers. Amoreena asks to take a million photos, eventually just taking Y/N’s phone from her, permanently, to take photos of all her favourite things around the house.

She runs off with the cats at a certain point, giving Y/N a chance to thank Taylor without tiny ears listening in. “Can I get really emotional and tell you how much you mean to me or is that too weird for our first chat?”

“Not weird at all, knowing you’ve used my music to raise that beautiful child makes me love you just as much, I’d love to hear why you picked me, of all musicians, to show her how to love,” Taylor replies, as regal and kindly as humanly possible.

“My first fiancé, Stephen, he was actually like an angel and our first kiss was quite literally in the rain, but he passed away in 2010,” she explained it with a smile so Taylor knew it wasn’t a touchy subject anymore, “I bonded with Fearless in a way I can’t even describe to you, it’s my life, he was my superstar, and white horse, I mean come on, I can’t tell you how many times I cried to that after he died but it helped me not feel alone. I wouldn’t be who I am without Fearless, and then Speak Now was there for me when I needed a good cry, Last Kiss really broke me but it wasn’t until Lover came out that I realized I could find someone again, and it’s always just like you released things as I needed them like you were helping me through all the bad things,” she’s never even told Spencer all this, it was special to him that he got to give her this moment.

“When you re-released it with the vault songs, I met Spencer literally a month later. I cried my eyes out to you all over me, but That’s When makes me think of Spencer and now the whole album has a new memory in my heart that’s better. It's just like why you re-released it, to replace the bad things that happened that took all the happiness out of something you cared so much about." Y/N took a second to breathe, shaky as she got to the end of her rant that she seemed to have prepared in the 20 minutes before she had to talk to her.

"I love you, honestly. You’re my best friend and you didn’t even know me then, but you’ve held my hand through it all, so thank you,” she cried a little, holding her belly with one hand as she tried to hold the tears in.

Taylor was out of her chair and in Y/N’s arms within seconds, crying into her arms as she held her. She rubbed Y/N’s back as she cried too, “I’m so sorry that happened, but I’m glad I could be there.”

“Do you want to be this baby's godmother?” She asks on impulse without even asking Spencer if he’s okay with it, he was, it made him laugh.

“Eleonora Taylor Reid,” Spencer says from across the table, making them both turn to him with wide eyes.

“Yes,” Y/N agrees fast, “that's the name if it’s a girl, if it’s a boy he can be Taylor as well?”

“Holy shit,” Taylor smiled wide, “yes, I want to come to visit the farm and buy them baby gifts and throw you a baby shower! I inadvertently helped make them so it’s only fair.”

“Hopefully she gets your voice too, Y/N,” Spencer adds and Y/N shoots him a panicked glance, “it’s the Taylor legacy to be a good singer.”

“You can sing?” The question Y/N feared coming past Taylor's lovely vocal cords, almost on queue.

Y/N can't help but glare at spencer, he had too many tricks up his sleeve and she was at her limit.

“Yes,” Y/N finally answers, “I was going to go to theatre school, but I switched to become a Librarian, I’m not good with crowds or competition and that's basically what the industry depends on. I like the quiet, telling stories on paper is just as easy as singing it to a crowd.”

“That's fair,” Taylor agreed, “would you and Amoreena like to sing some song with me? I have my guitar or the piano? I’m not used to having new friends over without sharing at least 1 song with them. I’m sure you’ve seen my listening parties?” She was really trying to convince her to sing, Spencer knew why and what she had planned.

Amoreena came running in then, “I can play piano too, can we do the long live new year's day from the tour movie?” She rests her hands on Taylor's arm, looking up at her with the biggest puppy dog eyes.

“Of course, come on,” she says taking Amoreena’s hand and rushing into the piano room. “Here, we’ll record it too,” she offered, setting her phone up on the music stand to capture the moment forever.

They sat side by side on the bench, Amoreena showing her how she could play the opening perfectly and surprising Spencer. He knew they had a piano at home, he’s just never seen her play it before.

“She has perfect pitch,” Y/N bragged, “she can play a song after hearing it once.”

“Really?” Spencer had no idea, unbelievably proud of her as he listened to her play.

She’s quietly playing the intro to Long Live as Taylor watches, joining in with the harmony of New Year's Day, “this one reminds me of my mom and dad.”

“Does it?” Taylor coo’s, smiling at her softly as Y/N tries not to cry beside Spencer.

“They’re the knight and the princess of our kingdom,” she explained before the two of them started singing the words together, like they always have, only Taylor was beside her and not just on the TV.

“I said remember this moment, in the back of my mind, the time we stood with our shaking hands, the crowds in the stands went wild,” Amoreena’s tiny voice lead-in, fearlessly as she played away.

“We were the Kings and the Queens, and they read off our names, the night you danced like you knew our lives would never be the same... You held your head like a hero, on a history book page... It was the end of a decade, but the start of an age,” Spencer couldn’t help but cry as she sang with Taylor.

This was on the concert movie, he showed her after school, this song came on and she was silent, listening to the words as she stared at him and then back at the TV. Her mind was connecting little dots, making a story about her mom and dad being the king and the queen, it all made sense now.

“Long live the walls we crashed through, how the kingdom lights shined just for me and you, I was screaming long live, all the magic we made and bring on all the pretenders, I’m not afraid,

Long live all the mountains we moved, I had the time of my life, fighting dragons with you, I was screaming long live, that look on your face, and bring on all the pretenders, one day, we will be remembered,”

Their fingers moved in sync on the keys as they harmonized almost perfectly, she wasn’t kidding about Amoreena having perfect pitch. She knew all the words and sang them almost louder than Taylor.

“And hold on to spinning around, confetti, falls to the ground. May these memories break our fall…”

The piano changes, the cords softer as they move into a new song, smiling at her mom and dad like she knew something. She had no idea what happened the night of the fake wedding, just that they had a party without her.

“And hold on… To spinning around… Confetti… Falls to the ground…”

Spencer wraps his arms around Y/N then, resting his chin on her shoulder as they sway to the tune, she’s barely whispering the words beside him as she smiles as her baby.

“There's glitter on the floor after the party, girls carrying their shoes down in the lobby, candle wax and Polaroids on the hardwood floor, you and me from the night before, but… Don’t read the last page, but I stay when you're lost, and I'm scared and you're turning away. I want, your midnights, I'll be cleaning up bottles with you on New Year's Day,”

Y/N’s hands rest on top of Spencer’s, she squeezes them three times, right before the next lyric.

“You squeeze my hand three times in the back of the taxi, I can tell that it's gonna be a long road. I’ll be there if you're the toast of the town, babe, or if you strike out and you're crawling home,

Don't read the last page, but I stay, when it’s hard or it’s wrong or we’re making mistakes. I want, your midnights, but I'll be cleaning up bottles with you on New Year's Day,”

“Hold on, to the memories, they will hold on to you,” the two of them chanting along with Taylor in beautiful harmony, Spencer felt like he was in heaven among the angels, but for real this time. “And I will hold on to you…”

The piano is so soft, it’s just Amoreena’s fingers hitting them as Taylor goes silent, letting her take the lead with a soft smile, “Please don't ever become a stranger whose laugh, I, could recognize anywhere. Please don't ever become a stranger whose laugh, I, could recognize anywhere.”

They stop for just a moment for Amoreena to smile up at Taylor, just like the break in the concert, “I really do love you,” she reminds them all before playing again.

“We love you, too, sweet girl,” Taylor replies for them using the same nickname for her because it was the truth. She was the sweetest girl, that Amoreena.

“There's glitter on the floor after the party, girls carrying their shoes down in the lobby, candle wax and Polaroids on the hardwood floor. You and me forevermore, don't read the last page, but I stay when it’s hard or it’s wrong or we’re making mistakes and I want, your midnights, but I'll be cleaning up bottles with you on New Year's Day,”

“Hold on to the memories, they will hold on to you,” the girls all chant together, swaying back and forth to the rhythm before taking different parts in the song like they’ve planned it before.

“And Long live,” Taylor takes the one song, while Amoreena takes the other.

Please don't ever become a stranger…

The walls we crashed through..

Whose laugh I could recognize anywhere…

I had the time of my life

Please don't ever become a stranger…

With you…

Whose laugh I could recognize anywhere…"

Amoreena plays the rest, smiling wide at the best day of her life. Meaning every single word she’s saying. “And Long live, the walls we crashed through. I had the time of my life… With you…” Amoreena ends with a few extra notes, making Taylor smile as she held her in a side hug.

She turns back to the piano then, starting to play Amoreena by Elton John. “No way..” Y/N gasps, before getting ready to sing along with all the confidence in the world, alongside Taylor Swift of all people.

“It’s just that; Lately, I've been thinking, how much I miss my lady, Amoreena's in the hayfield, brightening the daybreak,” Taylor changes some of the words, much to Y/N surprise.

“Livin’ like a lusty flower, runnin’ through the grass for hours, rollin’ through the hay, oooh, like a puppy child! And when it rains, the rain falls down… washing out the cattle town… and she's far away somewhere… in her eiderdown… And she dreams of crystal streams, of days gone by when we would lean… Laughing, fit to burst, upon each other…”

Y/N turns to Spencer then, singing to him softly as she wraps her arms around him and sways her hips to the song, pressing against him like they were in the movie Dirty Dancing, something she’s always wanted to do, clearly, with the smile on her face as she sings.

“I can see you sittin’, eatin’, apples in the evenin’. Fruit juice, flowing slowly, slowly, slowly down the bronze of your body. Livin’, like a lusty flower, runnin’ through the grass for hours, rollin’ through the hay, oooh, like a puppy child.”

Amoreena’s voice was the loudest in the chorus, this was her song after all. She belted it out like it was made for her.

“And when it rains, the rain falls down! Washing out the cattle town! And she's far away somewhere… in her eiderdown! And she dreams of crystal streams, of days gone by! When we would lean, laughing, fit to burst upon each other…”

Spencer knew the words as well, who didn’t? It was Elton John's best song. He hugged Y/N, snuggling into the crook of her neck as they twirled in Taylor Swift's living room, swaying with her, forgetting they weren’t alone for a moment.

“Oh, if only I could nestle, in the cradle of your cabin. My arm's around your shoulder, oh… The window wide and open, while the swallow and the sycamore, whoa! Are playing in the valley. Oh, I miss you, Amoreena, like the king bee misses honey!”

“And when it rains, the rain falls down! Washing out the cattle town! and she's far away somewhere… in her eiderdown! And she dreams of crystal streams, of days gone by when we would lean! Laughing, fit to burst upon each other, oooh!”

Amoreena and Taylor playing the iconic piano solo together, Y/N can’t help but move in closer to watch over her little girls shoulders.

“Lately, I've been thinking… How much I miss my lady… Amoreena's in a cornfield, brightening the daybreak. Livin’, like a lusty flower! Runnin; through the grass for hours! Rollin’ through the hay, woah! Like a puppy, like a puppy, child…” Y/N’s voice loud enough to be on the recording Taylor was making as the song ended.

Taylor stopped it then, just as Y/N swore, “holy shit, that was the coolest thing that’s ever happened in my whole life.”

“Mom,” Amoreena looked at her like she broke the law or something, “you don’t swear in front of her…” she mumbled.

Taylor laughed, wrapping her up in another hug, “have you heard champagne problems? It’s okay for big kids to swear here,” she teased her.

They laughed like they were family like they’ve been there before and were always meant to return. Something just clicked with them, and without a doubt, they’d be returning. Taylor Swift of all people slipped right into their little life, filling the shoes of big sister, best friend and coolest aunt in the world all in one day.

It was the most perfect afternoon.

—

Just before the sunset, they all changed into their wedding attire. Meeting out on the beach for their small, extremely intimate wedding ceremony with miss Taylor Swift. Getting it out of the way so they could have the whole weekend for whatever Taylor had planned for them. She said she had a few surprises up her sleeve still.

They filled out all the paperwork required on Taylor's kitchen table beforehand, she had all the right documents from when she registered to ordain online. All they had to do was submit it at town hall and they’d be legally married.

But it didn’t matter to them, this was enough.

Taylor and Amoreena stood side by side at a homemade arch on the beachfront that Taylor owned, waiting patiently for Spencer and Y/N to walk down the fake aisle, hand in hand. They couldn’t stop smiling as they saw Amoreena at the end, a big smile on her face as she bounced with excitement.

They reached the end, turning to each other, Amoreena took Y/N’s bouquet, it was her duty as maid of honour and best man.

“Spencer and I have been emailing for 2 weeks about today, he’s been filling me in little by little about you both as he got to know you, I’ve really gotten to see his love for you in the form of letters,” Taylor described with a large smile on her face.

Y/N looks at him with an open mouth, shocked as she shakes her head in disbelief at him. “You’re kidding, is she who emailed you when we had lunch 2 weeks ago?”

Spencer nodded with another cheeky smile, “she emailed me as you told me not to plan anything too crazy.”

Y/N just laughed at the insanity, “sorry Taylor, please continue.”

“It’s okay,” she laughed along, “it’s actually kind of interesting how Amoreena picked long live and New Year’s Day to sing because from what I’ve learned about you both, the intermission poem from that tour really was written for you, somehow. Almost like by design or some violent, exquisite happenstance…”

Y/n’s eyed do that thing they always do when she’s remembering something she’s heard before, finding the exact filing cabinet in her mind and opening it. She finds the words.

“When she fell, she fell apart. Cracked her bones on the pavement she once decorated as a child with sidewalk chalk,” she starts the poem with a small nod, letting Taylor continue the monologue in the form of vows.

“When’s she crashed, her clothes disintegrated. And blew away with the winds that took all of her fair-weather friends, family and lovers. When she looked around her skin was spattered with ink. Forming the words of a thousand voices, echoes she heard even in her sleep: whatever you say, it is not right. Whatever you do, it is not enough. Your kindness is fake. Your pain is manipulative.”

Y/N hasn’t watched the concert recently, unlike Spencer. She didn’t realize how much it sounded like them. Spencer, however, spotted the coincidences the second he heard it that night with Amoreena. Telling Taylor, explaining in detail how Maeve and Stephen were their personal last kiss storylines, but they’ve found a lover in each other. Cheesy, but it was the best way he could describe it.

“When she lay there on the ground she dreamed of time machines and revenge. And a love that was really something. Not just the idea of something.”

She turned her attention to Spencer, replacing the pronouns to fit him for the next part, Y/N looked at him already knowing why, smiling as she made the connection in her mind.

“When he finally rose, he rose slowly. Avoiding old haunts and sidestepping shiny pennies. Wary of phone calls and promises, charmers, dandies and get-love-quick-schemes.

When he stood, he stood with a desolate knowingness, waded out into the dark wild oceans up to his neck. Bathed in his brokenness. Said a prayer of gratitude, for each chink in the armour he never knew he needed.

Standing broad-shouldered next to him, was a love that was really something. Not just the idea of something.

When they turned to go home, they heard echoes of new words: may your heart remain breakable but never by the same hand twice. And even louder: without your past, you could never have arrived so wondrously and brutally, by design or some violent, exquisite happenstance… here.”

“What she said,” Y/N says with a quick giggle, leaning in as she laughs, taking him down in a giggle fit with her.

Amoreena’s lightly tugging on Taylor’s dress then, “you have to say it, please you can’t not say it, I had this planned out before I even knew you’d beee here…” she whispers like Taylor has any clue what she’s talking about.

Y/N just starts to shake her head with a smile, “I think she means the speak now bridge,” she reminds her.

“Ahh,” she smiles, picking Amoreena up to be at eye level with them all, she sings. “I hear the preacher say speak now or forever hold, your, pee-E-eeace,” she sings it exactly like it is on the album, almost as if she’s been practicing to release it again…

“There’s the silence there’s my last chance, I stand up with shaking hands all eyes, on me,” Amoreena lightly signs right back. “Horrified looks from everyone in the room but I’m only looking at you!”

Spencer laughs then too, smiling at his little girl living out the fantasy of a lifetime, seeing her mom dressed like a princess and marrying the broken knight with rusty armour, while Taylor Swift of all people holds her. Nothing about the life they had together felt real, but he wouldn’t change it for the world.

“I think it’s only fair if I get a say in who marries my mom because I’ve known her the longest,” she adds, “and I’m not the kind of girl who should be rudely barging in on this white veil occasion, but you happen to be the best dad in the whole world, so I think it’s cool that you love my mom.”

Y/N lets out a choked sob, she clearly had no idea that Amoreena was planning to say all that, but of course, she was. She knew all about every single Disney princess wedding, every fairytale ending and happily ever after, Taylor has helped her learn about love and vows and true feelings that cannot be stopped.

She knew what to say and she meant every word.

Spencer reaches out to take Amoreena from Taylor, holding her in his arms instead as Y/N snuggled in close to them, both his girls in his arms.

“I think it’s only fair I give some vows to you as well, I’m committing my whole life to this family, you should know how much that means I love you, too, Amoreena.” She snuggles in closer to his neck as she holds him back, Y/N’s head resting on his other shoulder.

“Till the day I die, I am going to be here for you: with unconditional love, with the best stories and the best morning cuddles. I don’t care if you pull me out of bed at 5 in the morning to feed the goats, or the chickens or just because you think the sun looks pretty and want me to see it too. I love you Amoreena, you’ve completed my life."

"Do you remember that day you asked me to be your dad?” his voice is so soft as he bumps her cheek with his nose.

She wipes her tears as she pulls away from his shoulder, overly emotional at the events of the day and extremely tired from the excitement she let out earlier. She nods softly, “I meant it.”

“I know honey,” he can’t help but start to cry a little as well, dropping his manly facade and being real with her. She deserved to see exactly what she meant to him, “I watched you pouring glitter glue all over that table, making the biggest mess ever, but it made me think… I had a hole in my heart for so many years, there was a part of me missing for so, so, so long, and then I found a little Eden by beautiful little kingdom, and the fairest lady in all the land took me in, and she patched up my broken heart with glitter glue.”

Amoreena tried to smile the tears away, sniffling as she tried to nod, “that's how I felt when you told me I could pick you to be my dad.”

Y/N was a sobbing mess, having to crouch down to her knees as she let it all out, steadying herself by holding onto Spencer’s leg like a child would at that height, “is she okay?” Amoreena worried.

“Your mom loves us so much, and the baby does too, so it’s making her a bit more emotional than normal,” he explains, wishing he could scoop Y/N up and hold her as well.

She wipes the tears from her face as she calms herself down and stands back up with help from Taylor, “thank you,” she manages to whisper to her with a smile.

She’s also been crying, watching the most beautiful thing she’s ever seen. A family built on true love coming together, using her songs to form a bond that she’d never understand.

And she didn’t want to, some stories were best kept in families, to be sent down the line, generation after generation, to fall into the lap of someone like her one day and create a whole world with it.

“With the power vested in me, I now pronounce you husband, wife and daughter, the royal Reid family,” Taylor’s voice is soft as she plays along with Amoreena’s fantasy land, hushed to match the moment as Spencer leaned in to kiss Y/N.

Amoreena doesn’t cry out in disgust this time, instead, resting her head on her dad's shoulder as she watched them peck each other's lips gently. Watching a fairytale happy ending unfold in front of her very eyes, blessed to be the result of this happy union.

...

A/N: my anon is on now if anyone wants to come talk about the fic with me!! i love to share little hc's and things with you over here (also this was the original planned ending I wasn't going to continue past here but I'm probably going to write this for the next 10 years its too fun not to)

tag list: @shemarmooresfedora @spencers-dria @spookyspence @reidsfish @manuosorioh @mochionly @samuel-de-champagne-problems @jswessie187

[maybebanks]

Special Treatment

JJ Maybank x Y/N

You and JJ get busted and are forced to spend the night in jail. Only Y/n gets some much resented special treatment. Leaving JJ jealous.

“I can’t believe we got caught. I’m gonna be in so much shit for this,” JJ muttered, raking a hand through his messy blonde hair.

You felt very guilty, if it wasn’t for you, JJ wouldn’t have gotten caught trespassing. He was a faster runner than you, and you had tripped, resulting in a pathetic injury.

“Hey, are you good? I know you have that ‘3 strikes’ thing going on with Peterkin..and - oh shit Y/n! Your leg is bleeding,” JJ said, moving you to sit down so he could get a better look.

“It’s fine,” you protested, “and don’t worry about me. You have your dad to worry about,” you mentioned.

JJ frowned, “don’t remind me,”

You were familiar with this cell, though it was way better when shared with JJ. You were here just yesterday, busted for shop lifting.

It was clear you were rebelling. And JJ wanted to know why.

He was intrigued.

“When we get outta here...can we go separately?” you said softly.

“Why? I was hoping we could grab food at the Wreck...please...” he trailed off, grabbing both of your hands and trapping them in his.

“No...I mean..you know I get scared of your dad. And besides, my mom wants me home,” you admitted.

JJ frowned, “yeah. I know. You get all..shakey,” he shrugs.

“I do not!” You blurted, pushing one of his shoulders.

“Yes you do, you’re hands are like this,” JJ told you, then put his hand out and started moving his wrist to shake his hand at a fast speed.

“Oh fuck you,” you groaned.

“Sure I’m down,” JJ joked.

“What?” You gave him a dirty look.

“You know,” he smirked, then he leaned over to you and started rubbing your shoulders, “you like that? Uhhh!” He moaned.

“Shut up!! You dumbass! They’re gonna hear!!” You scolded him, shoving him off of you.

“Yeah and what would they think? You more of a handjob or a blowjob kinda girl?” he joked.

“Oh my god...okay you need to..to chill with the horny boy act, got it? I know you’re just trying to get at me..but I’m not in the mood,” you sighed. Standing up and walking towards the edge of the bars.

“I see blushing,” JJ pointed out, pointing to his own cheeks.

You rolled your eyes, looking the other way.

JJ raised his hands in defense, “I didn’t mean to offend you. Just wanted to lighten the mood. Maybe get this tension under wraps,”

“There is no tension.” You stated.

“There is with you. You’re super tense,” JJ added.

“I just...I have a lot going on,” you shrugged.

“Wanna..” JJ paused, kicking his feet against the concrete, “..talk about it?”

“No thanks...” you sighed, returning to sit next to him again.

“Whatever it is,” JJ placed a comforting hand on your thigh, “I’m sure you can handle it.” He said. He knew you weren’t going to tell him, so he decided to give you confidence.

You stared at his large hand on your thigh, his rings shining from the light through the windows.

You smiled softly. And he returned it.

Before he could say some dirty one liner, the cell door opened.

You and JJ stood up.

“Y/n, let’s go.” The officer directed. He wasn’t the usual one who dealt with the jail people, he was a patrol officer. He has blonde, short hair he was tall, and looked about 30-40 years old.

“But..what about-“ You began.

“Just you.” He stated, looking into your eyes.

You looked back at JJ, he just shrugged.

So you followed the police officer out of the cell, and waved goodbye to JJ.

The officers hand met your lower back as you walked with him through the station. He nodded at a few cops at desks, no one seemed to question him as he walked you out the front door.

As an excuse to get him to stop touching you, you turned around, asking him a question, “excuse me. What’s..what’s going on?” You asked nervously.

“How about I give you a ride home,” he suggested, pointing to a small cop car.

“My friend...in there, I can’t just leave him,” you said.

“Maybank kid. Yeah I saw his record. For some reason, Peterkin always looks the other way, something to pity, I’d assume,” the Officer explains.

You sighed, knowing exactly what he was talking about, JJs dad.

“I can..um I can walk home, thanks,” you told him, walking around him.

He grabbed your wrist gently, “if I hadn’t done what I did, you’d be spending your night in that cell. Let me give you a ride home,” he almost ordered.

You bit the inside of your lip, but he was a cop, what was he gonna do? Kill you. Please. You shouldn’t be afraid of him.

You nodded, and he smiled, directing you to his car.

You attempted to get in the back seat, but he scolded you, and told you that you should sit in the front.

He drove you home, and parked in your driveway.

“I’ll walk you inside, make sure everything’s okay,” he said.

“Sir, I’m alright, it’s like 20 feet away,” you said, but he ignored you.

When you got to the front door, you knocked, him by your side.

Your mother answered, shocked, and quite unhappy at the sight.

“What did she do?” Your mother sighed, you looked at the floor.

“Ma’am, I’m officer Darren Wilden, we’ve met before, I was just escorting your daughter from the jail cell. Would’ve spent the night there, if I hadn’t got her out of there,” he told her.

You groaned.

Stepping up and heading inside, past your mom. She would have surly yelled at you, but she was now distracted by the officer.

Maybe it wasn’t such a bad thing.

Retiring to your room was not a great as you thought, you could hear your mother laugh at Officer Wildens stupid jokes, she even made dinner for him. So you put in headphones, falling asleep to your favorite playlist.

You woke up at your usual time, to spend the Saturday with the pogues. Excited, you headed downstairs for breakfast, still in your pajamas. You missed dinner last night, and were craving a muffin or something.

You entered the kitchen in slow steps, hearing someone cooking bacon or something. Your mom never cooks.

“Mom?” You asked, but your question was quickly answered.

Wilden was standing in your kitchen, shirtless, a white towel wrapped around his waist.

“Oh my gosh,” you blinked in shock. What hell was this?

“Good morning. Want any eggs?” He said nonchalantly. Standing near the fridge.

You scoffed. Walking around him, “no thanks,”

A few seconds later, your mother walked in.

She studdered, “uh Darren, why don’t you head upstairs, I’ll take care of breakfast,”

He nodded, “yeah sure,” and left the kitchen.

“What does he live here now?” You said sarcastically to your mom.

“Give me a break, honey....” your mother sighed.

“Yeah..whatever. I’m going to John B’s,” you said bluntly, then hastily left the house.

Once joining the group, you were basically silent the whole time.

“So! Y/n, how was jail?” Kie asked, smiling.

“How..how did you know?” You asked, “JJ you literally suck at keeping ur mouth shut,”

“What?!” He laughed, “I used to be brag about corrupting the good girl. But now your a convict just like me,” JJ shrugged, implying that you shouldn’t care.

Truly you just didn’t want to be traced back to Wilden, you hated that connection you now had. Could it even turn into blackmail? It just made you sick.

“Did you know JJ was in that cell for 24 hours longer than y/n! That’s some sexism right there,” John B mentioned.

“Don’t joke about that, dude,” Pope scolded.

“What? It’s true.” He defended.

“Wait...JJ, your dad didn’t show up to-“ you were surprised he had spent the night in the cell.

“Yeah. They didn’t even call him. For some reason, you got special treatment,” JJ said, nudging your arm.

That’s when it hit you. Your mother probobly did this to keep you out of jail. You felt sick. Horrible of what you had to done to make your mother do what she did.

“Whoa...you okay Y/n/n?” JJ asks, nudging you again.

You flinched at his nudge, but tries crossing your arms to cover it up.

You didn’t answer.

“You got all pale,” Pope added.

“Y/n/n, are you okay?” JJ repeated.

“I need some air,” you blurted, then jumped up and walked away from the group out on the doc.

“But we are outside,” JJ grumbled.

“JJ go talk to her,” Kie suggested.

“Me? She doesn’t wanna talk to me,” JJ shut down.

“Yes, she does. Now talk to her,” Kie demanded.

JJ grumbled curses to himself, he didn’t like to go be forced into things. And he didn’t want you to see him as a guy who didn’t know what to say.

JJ took off his hat and fumbled with it, “I really don’t mind...the uh extra jail time. But if you were there...I could’ve asked you if your-“

“Jesus, JJ,” you sighed.

“What did I do?” JJ asked, sitting down text to you on the dock.

“It...it’s everything. Like...I don’t want you here, so leave,” you insulted. You really wanted him to stay, but not give him the opportunity to find out how dishonestly you got out of jail.

“Okay. Easy, done,” JJ stated. But instead of getting up and leaving you in the dust, he moved closer to you, his knee touching yours.

You started to cry, why did he care? The tears were falling so fast you missed a few falling down your cheek. One landing on JJ’s knee.

“She...I can’t..it’s just stupid. And I hate myself.” You stuttered. Between gasps.

JJ put his arm around you, “why?”

“Because... she,” you said quietly, “slept with him,”

JJ frowned, distancing you from him slightly, “the cop?! Are you serious?”

“Yeah,” you said disappointedly.

“God damn, Y/n.” He said shaking his head.

“Please don’t tell anyone, J. I don’t really know why I told you. I just I can trust you,” you sighed.

“Yeah...uh okay Y/n. I’m uh I’m gonna go,” he shrugged, then stood up.

“W-wait! I need you J, where do you have to go?” You asked innocently.

“Look, if you think I’m okay with this? I’m not. Sex with a cop? Are you fucking kidding? What about us? All summer!” JJ exclaimed.

“Hold on-“ you attempted to explain, because JJ thought it was you.

“No. You know what. I feel like shit for ever opening up to you. I need some space from you.” He said disgustedly.

You started balling again, “JJ. It wasn’t me! What’s wrong with you!” You said, deeply offended by that accusation. Both you and jj had slightly developed feelings for eachother, but denied them the whole summer.

No one ever acted on them.

“What’s wrong with me? You’re the slut!” JJ shouted.

“Excuse me?!” You screamed back, offended.

JJ sighed, he took off his red baseball hat and threw it on the ground.

“To me, Y/n, a slut sleeps with someone to get something out of it. And that’s what you fucking did,” JJ retaliated.

“Fuck you. It wasn’t even me,” you mumbled, walking past him and down the driveway.

You didn’t want to go home. You were planning on spending the night at John B’s, but JJ really hurt you.

JJ replayed the conversation in his head, trying to figure out what he missed.

He regretted shitting on you, name calling. That wasn’t him, and it certainly wasn’t you.

You never explicitly told him it was your mom, but JJ believed you, that it wasn’t you. Now you just needed to talk.

You arrived at your house after walking for nearly an hour. But you couldn’t go in, not when you saw a cop car parked outside.

This angered you. How could he be here again? How could your mother do this?

Suddenly, a car drove up behind you. You were afraid to look. In case it was another cop.

“Hey, Y/n,” you heard JJ’s voice call.

You were stubborn, so you didn’t turn around.

“I shouldn’t have called you that shit. And I shouldn’t have let you leave. Wanna...let me apologize with dinner? On me,” JJ beamed, pleading.

“That would be nice,” you fought a smile, hopping in the passenger seat next to him.

more JJ reads!

[jee-ns]

warmth

pairing: roséxfem!reader

genre: fluff

warnings: slight cursing

synopsis: you saved her from dying on the annual skiing trip and she rewards you with hugs and kisses.

words: 1.5k

the hard pillow hits your face and interrupts your slumber. “wake up we're gonna be late!” the girl at your door frame yelled as she was brushing her teeth already fully clothed with a pair of skinny jeans and a hoodie.

you groaned searching for your phone that you left on the bedside table last night. “oh and i took your phone!” she yelled from the kitchen. you rolled your eyes and got up. feet hitting the carpeted floor of your room “fuck you lisa” you muttered under your breath and got up to take a shower.

when you got out you were met with lisa sitting on the counter watching a random cat video. you went beside her and made your too bitter coffee. while lisa gave you back your phone. “ms.kwon is going to pick our partners. so you’d get a chance to share a room with rosie” that name froze you up. you looked back up to lisa seeing her smug face. “she’s testing my patience” you said not ready to share a room with the park chaeyoung. “well you might even share a bed with her.” your eyes bulges out of its sockets. “what” she took her phone to show the email to you. “look” one the slightly cracked phone screen was an email stating the criteria of the skiing trip. you groaned reading it. “or i’ll probably get jennie,,, that girl never stops talking about her dogs” you rolled her eyes and lisa lightly punched your shoulder laughing.

-

arriving at the auditorium with your luggage and lisa ,ms.kwon was already calling names for the pairs who are going to be together this whole skiing trip. “jisoo and lisa , jennie and irene , roseanne and y/n” after that everything was muffled except for lisa’s annoying laugh. you came back to reality when you locked eyes with her. miss roseanne was coming your way while lisa was punching your shoulder. you pushed lisa away and was about to make a run for- “hey” she said while putting down her luggage. smiling softly at you. your cheeks turn crimson red.

“hey”

“i guess we’ll be roomies”

you laughed awkwardly not really knowing what to say. “i heard that there’s going to be one room with only one bed and i hope we don’t have get that” ouch. you didn’t realize you made a face that looked like you just got stabbed in the heart until rose leaned her head back laughing. “don’t get me wrong. i’d love to share a big bed with you. but i’m a rough sleeper” she said between laughs. “it’s alright. the chances of us getting that room is pretty low.” you smiled at her.

-

“you jinxed it”

your jaw dropped to the floor. you guys were looking in the cramped room from the doorway with your luggage behind you. “well i guess i can have a big bed that barely fits the room now” she said trying to be positive. it isn’t that bad you just have to be positive. which neither of you are.

after 20 minutes of struggling and punching the bags and slight touches from eachother you guys finally sorted out the room. “i can sleep on the floor if you want” you said putting a pillow on the ground. “ no you are absolutely not” she said pulling you on the bed. once again you flushed. “you sure?” you asked her. not wanting to invade her space. after hours of you being an annoying bitch you guys finally decided on putting a pillow in the middle to act as a barrier

-

the next day you woke up to banging on the door. “lobby in 20 minutes!” the person from the other side screamed. you groaned leaning back on the pillow. rose’s groaning was muffled by the pillow she shoved her face in.

“so how was last night?” lisa said with a smirk while wiggling her eyebrows.

“anything happened?”

you rolled your eyes “nothing happened we spent like 20 minutes sorting out our room which was not fun”

“maybe you’ll get lucky next time”

you pushed her away and paid your attention back to the teacher explaining how we can’t use the diamond path unless we have permission.

-

the top of the diamond trail was freezing you to death and the chattering of your classmates didn’t make it better. the small surface of wood you were currently on didn’t look like it could carry all of you anymore. you wouldn’t even be surprised if it collapsed underneath you. you were admiring the fine wood covered in snow when you heard several screeches from behind you. it was rose skiing down the diamond path looking like a worm that had been cut in half. you were in shock while watching her go down the snow with full speed. “now’s your chance” lisa said as she pushed you down with her. you’ve been skiing before. but never down the diamond lane. ‘god i am killing that bitch later’. you sped down the mountain of snow trying to find a blonde haired girl wearing a blue jacket. it was getting hard to see your surroundings when the snow was all over your face trying to catch a glimpse of the petit girl.

you saw her in the corner of your eyes. “rosie!” she was going down just as fast as you and she didn’t bother to look around as her eyes were tight shut. you turned your head back to the track and saw a tree that could possibly lead to rose dying.

“fuck it” you tackled her to the ground stopping her from going any faster into the tree. and it worked. you kept her in your hold until she let’s out a whimper. you opened her goggles. “hey it’s okay” you reassured her. she buried her face into your chest and the butterflies in your stomach started acting up again. “it was so scary” she said barely above a whisper and you patted her head “i know ,, now you’re safe” you grinned at her and she chuckled while hitting your shoulder. you got up and helped her up with you. “how are we gonna get down?” she looked at you with puppy eyes clearly traumatized by what happened minutes ago.

you guided her down with her hands in your own. you loved it. she was joking around with you and surprisingly you joked back. you’re so fucking touch starved. when you got it down the teachers were rushing to rose’s side bombarding her with questions. you just stood at the side not knowing what to do. “wanna get coffee?” she said with her beautiful smile on her face. of course you agreed.

you guys decided to head back to your room and finish of the coffee there. “today was a long day” she said while taking off all of her jackets that made her look like a little dumpling. “you almost got killed” you said while putting away your stuff in the closet. she skipped her way next to you to put her stuff to. “yeah but you saved me” she pecked your cheeks. you immediately turned as red as a tomato and you felt a little woozy. the butterflies are coming back but ten times harder. she then fell against the bed with her arms stretched out. you chuckled and headed towards the bathroom for a much needed shower. after you got out all dressed up in your pajamas. you walked in on rosie dancing to her playlist. she turned around and beamed while walking towards the bathroom with a towel hanging from her shoulder.

you decided to get comfy and opened your book to read right after putting a pillow as a border between you two. after a while rosie came out of the shower with her wet hair. ‘god how did she look so good with wet hair and her oversized pajamas on’ you thought not noticing yourself staring right at her. and when she caught you she just smiled and dipped into the bed right beside you while opening her phone. you guys just sat there in silence for awhile until rose closed her phone and sighed. she drew the covers above her and layed on her side. she looks up at you who’s still reading.

“y/n?”

“yeah?” you hummed.

“i need to ask you something come closer.” she urged.

you pursed your lips and shuffled closer to her “closer” you moved closer to her laying under the covers with her. she didn’t asked anything. she threw her leg above your hips and her arms circles your waist. her head against your chest. the butterflies came back like a storm you were blushing madly. you prayed that she couldn’t hear your heart beating at 10000 miles per hour. she snuggled her head against your chest. you decided to stroke her hair softly and not look like an idiot.

after awhile you two got comfortable in eachother’s embraced. with a hand on her head you asked. “were you always this clingy?” and she chuckled “i don’t know were you always this warm?” she engraved her forehead against your neck and her nose nuzzled just under your collarbone. you giggled and slightly moved back ,chuckling. “it tickles” with a soft smile on her face and her eyes barely open she just planted light kisses on your collarbones as you two drift off to sleep.

-admin 🗣