#and then hopefully i can get more free gems in the meantime

[misty-the-mysterious]

I've done 41 summons on Suiter Idia so far, I'm scrounging around wherever I can to try and get more, but so far I've gotten SSR Floyd, Azul, and Deuce. Floyd and Azul were within 3 single summons and Deuce decided to come hang out last night. I feel like this is super good luck but it's on every character BUT the one I'm after WJEGEKSJDDIDJS

[anonniemousefics]

My Dearest Inej | Chapter Two

Chapter Masterlist 

Originally posted on AO3

Rating: Teen And Up

Synopsis: A series of letters kept among the personal belongings of Captain Inej Ghafa.

Chapter Two: Burn Before Reading

My dearest Inej,

I’m trying to respond to your last letter, but I am stuck on the fact that you began it with the greeting, “My Devastation.” Dear Ghezen, woman. Is this what it feels like to blush? I despise it. This must never happen again. This is also the only greeting I will accept from now on.

Changing the subject. If I keep thinking about you calling me that, I will get nothing done at all.

You’ve asked for longer letters, more details about the happenings here. To that I say, why not just stay longer next time? And then you won’t have to settle for reading about it.

But since there’s still one month, two weeks, and three days left until you dock again, I’ll try to entertain you. I write these at the end of the day, and I’m finding it’s a pleasant way to unravel the mess in my mind a little anyway. So, here are three things which occurred this past week:

Rotty accidentally stepped on a cat in an alley and needed twelve stitches afterwards. He’s telling everyone it was a knife fight. It doesn’t matter to me what he tells them. I still get to laugh about it either way.

I think Jesper and Wylan are having an argument. Jesper’s worn the same clothes for three days. I’m oddly preoccupied with whether or not I should say something. Or maybe buy him a drink. Look what you’ve done to me.

I dreamt of you this week. And that is all I’m saying about that. Because, unlike some people, I don’t have a sick fascination with making other people blush. I much prefer screaming and cowering and sniveling. It’s far less cruel.

That is your entertainment for the night. As I am writing this, I’m also examining the blueprints of a certain mercher’s townhome. There’s a strange looking void in the plans that I suspect is a hidden vault. I’m probably not going to sleep until I’ve worked out how to get to it.  

Devastatingly yours,

K. Brekker

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Inej, darling,

I’m very sorry Jesper’s letter disturbed you. I’m all right. It was just a little arrest and very minor concussion. No, you don’t need to hurry home. I made bail, made all the appropriate bribes – this will all blow over in a month. Well in time for your arrival.

In the meantime, I’m enclosing the blueprints. Maybe you can have a look and tell me how you would have broken in. Be aware -- this one’s a light sleeper and has a very good aim.

Of course I’m resting. Of course.

(in the margins, in Inej’s handwriting:  Lies.)

Yours,

Kaz

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Inej. Inej Inej Inej.

You’ll be here tomorrow. I wasn’t going to write again until after. But I took Jesper out for the drink like you said. Drinks. Plural. And it’s interacting strangely with the pain pills the medik offered for the concussion. This has not been my smartest evening.  

Inej. I hope someone stops me before I drop this off at the post tomorrow. I feel very much like I’m about to say things I’m going to regret.  

Listen. Between you and me. Wylan has every right to be angry with Jesper. His spending habits are abysmal, and his cleanliness even worse. He’s a grown man who doesn’t even know how to scrub a dish. They had better not ask us to take sides. Who would you pick? I’d have to pick Jesper. That’s strange. Why do I feel like I have to pick Jesper?

This has been illuminating.

You’ll be here tomorrow. Inej. You’ll be here tomorrow. I don't think I'll be able to sleep. This has been the longest three months of my life. I’ve lost count of how often I’ve dreamt of your laugh, your eyes, your hair, your lips. If I could only taste them. I imagine I might even prefer it toffees.  

Tasting your lips, specifically, I mean. I think that was clear. I actually have no interest in eating your hair. Gods, I'm drunk.

You’ll be here tomorrow, Inej. And now I’m going to be hungover like an ass. I’m sorry. Hopefully I’ll have the decency to say sorry to your face. You have the most lovely face.

Perhaps I will put this in the post, just in case tomorrow’s hangover ruins everything. A preemptive apology can’t hurt.

With every regret and with all of my heart,

I remain yours,

K. Rietveld

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(in an envelope marked: “OPEN FIRST”)

My dearest Inej,

I must respectfully and urgently request that you only read this letter when you pick up your mail in Os Kervo. In my haste, I accidentally included sensitive information in the letter postmarked the day before this one, and it is a danger to us all. Burn before reading. Seriously.

Sincerely,

K. Brekker

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My dearest, brilliant Inej,

Thank you for burning the letter as per my last request. No, I’d rather not even allude to its contents. It is a relief to know it’s gone.  

Was it just me or did this last Ketterdam trip of yours go better than the previous? I hope you felt that way. For me, I’m thrilled enough to have held your hand. I can still feel the memory of you resting against my shoulder. You seemed happy. I have wanted that for you for so long.

We’re going to try your suggestions on the vault this time, later in the week. I find myself less motivated in the initial days after you depart. I imagine that’s not something you feel, and I understand. The water calls for you in ways it doesn’t call to me. We can’t all be seafarers.

This letter has been a little drearier, I’m realizing. Maybe it’s the rain. Maybe it’s my head. Maybe it’s because I miss you. An excessive supply of Ravkan toffees can only cure so much.  

I’ll make sure the next one's cheerier. This is all for now.  

Yours,

Kaz

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Inej,

Well. Thanks for coming clean about the letter at least. I hope you’re happy with yourself.

What if there’d actually been something dangerous in it? What then?  

Who knows why I decided to sign it with that name. I was drunk and concussed and strung out on pain relievers. It wasn’t meant to be read.  

But go on -- enjoy the laugh at my expense.  

Honestly, I expected a little more consideration from you.

Kaz

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(no envelope, unsent)

My most cherished Devastation,  

I am not laughing. I didn’t laugh at the letter at all. It was never my intent to humiliate you. You have to know that I loved every word of it. It was like opening a plain box and finding a gem. You are rarely so free with your words and your feelings. If I could kiss the medik who intoxicated you, I would.

I’m keeping the letter. I’m savoring every word. Even the part about not eating my hair, which, while an unnecessary clarification, I do appreciate the effort to communicate. I’m dreaming of kissing and holding you, too. You have nothing to be ashamed of.

Although, let’s not tell Wylan what you wrote. Your secret is safe with me. Your secrets are always safe with me.

You are my sweetest devastation, Kaz Rietveld. Please don’t be angry.

Yours,

Inej

P.S. – If you were hungover that day like you feared, you hid it alarmingly well. Or perhaps your usual grumpy demeanor lends itself well to masking hangovers. That’s not to say you were an ass. You were perfect. You were charming. I’m really bungling this. You were Kaz, and you were exactly as I needed you. Does that make sense? No, it doesn’t. I think I need to throw this out and try again.

(scribbled in the margins, roughly translated from Suli)

“BURN BEFORE READING”? DO YOU TRUST ME AT ALL?!

INEJ, YOU MASSIVE LOON

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Inej, bravest and most daring of all Inejs,  

I can’t stay angry with you. Disregard the last letter. Do what you want with the ridiculous one. Let’s blame all of this on the damn mercher who hit me in the head. None of this would have happened if he could have just been decent and let me rob him.  

When are you coming home again?

Yours,

Kaz

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

My dearest Devastation,  

We are docking in Ketterdam next week. I’d rather not completely disregard the letter in question. Let’s speak of it in person then. Do you think you can do that?

And before you say no, I’m bringing toffees to sweeten the deal. So, consider carefully.  

Affectionately yours,

Inej

[prettysicksupply]

So, it’s that time of year again and our web site/hosting etc for PrettySickSupply.com is due on September 9th.  But, things have been slow of late, and we could use some help from the community!  Right now we have about $10 but we need $204 to keep the site up and running as it is.  Which means, if you’ve been waiting for a good time to buy some snarky gear- THIS IS IT!  

If you don’t need/want any gear, but still want to chip in- you can always donate directly to our paypal by clicking here. Every little bit helps!

In the meantime, we’ve got some really great snarky disability friendly and anti-ableist designs you can buy that help support us too... 

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[image description: a canvas tote that reads, “Sorry, My REAL chronic illness doesn’t recognize your IMAGINARY medical degree,” a scene featuring a silver laptop on a desk. The laptop’s cover features a black and white sticker of a stretching cat with the message, “Tried Yoga, Still Disabled”, a white coffee mug that reads, “Thanks for your unsolicited medical advice, but I’ll stick with SCIENCE”, and 3 tee shirts (one blue, one green and one pink) that all feature a 2-part checklist.  The first part is titled, “Yes I’ve Considered” and includes checked off items, “Essential Oils, Accupuncture, Superfoods, Cleanses, Yoga,” the bottom part is titled, “Have you Considered” and includes unchecked items, “Shutting Up, Minding Your Own Business.”]

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Plus SO MUCH MORE!  Surf the whole shop and find your favorites! Every purchase (always, but especially right now) helps us keep PrettySick Supply the website up and running as a free resource to our community.  

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And if you haven’t checked out PrettySickSupply.com, you should!  Our mission is to find and collect as many links and resources as possible to connect the disability/chronic illness community with fun, fancy, punk, personalized versions of medical equipment and mobility aids... 

Because it’s our belief that chronic conditions deserve fabulous gear!

We’ve just hit $50 and we’ve added some new designs to our shop- ESPECIALLY for those with invisible illness or invisible disabilities!  How many of us (especially ambulatory wheelchair users) have heard- “Ok but you’re not really disabled, you walked yesterday,” or “you stood up in the grocery store” or “I thought you said you went dancing the other night?!”

These news designs tackle exactly that nonsense.

[ID: the back of an open silver laptop on a desk.  A large sticker on the computer has a checklist which reads, “I’m still sick even when I: smile, laugh, dance, play” and each item has a box to the right which has a checkmark in it]

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As always, our designs are available on all kinds of materials from stickers to tee shirts, to pillows and bags and more!  And every penny we make from their sales goes right back into keeping PrettySickSupply.com runnin

[minijenn]

Out Too Far Preview 2

Goddammit if only I wasn’t so damn distracted by the movie, I’d be making more progress on this. Ah well, it’ll happen soon enough. For now, enjoy some setupy stuff!

***

“But what about Lapis?” Dipper shot back intently. “She’s been stuck down there in that lake with Jasper for way too long now, and I’m just supposed to sit by and wait while everyone else goes to save her?! I don’t think so. I’ve got to be there to help her!”

“Uh, I dunno, bro-bro,” Mabel frowned worriedly. “It’s been awhile since any of us—except for Steven—have even seen Malachite. And if she’s still anywhere near as big and scary and angry as she was when Lapis dragged them into the lake, then maybe we should just let the Gems take care of her.”

“But I just… can’t!” Dipper exclaimed, set in his resolve. “I’ve tried waiting on the Gems, and making deals and plans and doing all the research I can and none of its worked! Its time to actually go there and face Malachite, and this might be the only chance I’ll get to do it. I don’t care what the Gems say; I’m going to that lake and I’m going to set Lapis free, no matter what!”

Upon hearing this bold proclamation, Steven and Mabel exchanged a fretful glance, knowing that changing Dipper’s mind, especially on something like this, was hardly an easy feat. It was no secret that he largely blamed himself for Lapis’ self-imposed imprisonment, however irrational that self-blaming might have been. Which would naturally explain why he had always been so intent on helping her by any means necessary, even going to lengths as far and deadly as a disastrous deal they were all reeling from the consequences of even still. And yet compared to that, his drive to go and confront the treacherous fusion in person seemed, amazingly enough, far less dangerous of an alternative. And given just how dangerous and unstable Malachite clearly was, that was saying something.

“…O-ok,” Steven was the first to relent, albeit apprehensively. “If you really think this is something you need to do, then… then you should go. For Lapis.”

“Mm… yeah…” Mabel agreed rather hesitantly, clearly concerned for her admittedly reckless brother’s wellbeing. “But just as long as you promise to be careful, Dipper. None of that self-sacrificy knight stuff this time, ok?”

“Relax, Mabel,” Dipper assured with a small smile as he strapped the Sword of Seasons over his shoulder. “Both me and Lapis will make it back safe this time. I promise. But in the meantime, do you guys mind covering for me with Great Uncle Ford? I have a feeling he’d… probably agree with the Gems about me staying behind.”

“Well… I don’t really know what we could tell him, but, I’m sure we’ll think of something,” Steven shrugged.

“Oh, I know! We could always tell him you died!” Mabel exclaimed, playfully dramatic. “That way, he wouldn’t have anything to worry about because he’d think you’re already gone!”

“See, that’s like, the exact opposite of the sort of thing I want him thinking,” Dipper deadpanned, hardly impressed by his sister’s proposal. “Just come up with something simple. Believable. Just until I get back with Lapis.” He paused for a beat, as if to realize the implications of what he had just said. “Whoa… this… really could work this time. She could… finally, finally be set free…”

“Well, if you have anything to do with it, bro-bro, then we know she will,” Mabel said with an encouraging smirk. “If there’s anyone who can help her, then it’s you.’

“Right,” Dipper nodded, choosing to believe that hopeful thought himself as he turned to depart. “Well, wish me luck.”

“Good luck!” Steven called warmly, though perhaps a bit too loudly, something that Dipper quickly corrected him on in his effort to be discreet. “Ooops, I mean, good luck!” the young Gem tried again in a whisper this time as not to arouse the Gems’ attention.

At the same time, Dipper managed to sneak just past the Gems and Ford right as they were concluding their brief conversation. Stan impatiently honking his horn did startle him somewhat as he made his way towards the back of the car, but even still he kept his wits about him as he quietly drew the Sword of Seasons. Carefully, he wedged the very tip of the blade underneath the trunk’s opening, sliding it around a bit until it finally, miraculously popped open. And then, just as quickly, he slid into the open trunk, sword and all, stealthily shutting it just as the Gems themselves took their seats in the vehicle itself. And just like that, they set off towards the lake, completely unaware of the hidden passenger who had just stowed away for the ride.

As the group drove off, things returned to a relative quiet calm around the barn. Steven and Mabel both plopped down somewhat anxiously onto the blanket they had set up on the grass next to the drill, trying to remain as stable as possible amidst the occasional light tremor rippling through the ground beneath them. All the while, Peridot was tinkering away on a few last minute adjustments on the drill while Ford went to go check on something inside of the barn, leaving a tentative silence across the entire barnyard that was only occasionally broken by the low rumbling of the earth itself. That is, until Peridot decided to make a begrudging attempt at conversation.

“So… Lazuli has Jasper trapped in a fusion?” she asked dubiously as she glanced away from her work on the drill briefly. “You’re joking me.”

“Its true!” Steven exclaimed with a frown. “But… Lapis must be getting tired from fighting Jasper for so long, just like Garnet said…”

“Just being on a ship with Jasper made me tired,” Peridot snarked, rolling her eyes.

“W-well, look on the bright side,” Mabel said, forcing a bit of a smile. “At least the Gems are finally going to split them up. Not to mention Dipper…” she muttered her last statement rather worriedly.

“What was that?” Peridot asked, raising an eyebrow.

“N-nothing!”

No more than a second later, the ground suddenly rumbled once more, far more violently than before. It was enough to knock Peridot off her short ladder and down to the kids, who shared a tight breath as they looked down to the distant hills, just past where the lake, the Gems, Malachite, and Dipper were all no doubt starting to clash. “Augh, now I understand what Dipper meant about not being able to just sit around waiting!” Steven groaned, no longer content to simply sit around on the sidelines. “I wanna help them too!”

“But the Gems said it was too dangerous,” Mabel countered, far from fond of the idea of the young Gem throwing himself into such calamity too.

“Why don’t you just disobey them?” Peridot suggested. “Rebel. Isn’t that like, you guys’ thing?”

“Oh, good point,” Steven nodded. “Oh! I know! I’ll fall asleep and go into a Watermelon Steven again! This way, I can help them and be safe at the same time!” Satisfied with his plan, the young Gem lay back down onto the blanket, laughing daringly to himself all the while.

“Wow, you’re a real anarchist,” Peridot deadpanned dryly.

“No one can tell me what to do,” Steven shot back, an air of playfulness in his tone until Mabel leaned over him anxiously.

“Keep an eye on him for me out there, ok?” she whispered, her tone serious and concerned for her brother’s wellbeing.

“That’s exactly what I plan to do,” Steven assured, offering her a warm smile as he closed his eyes before quickly drifting off back to sleep.

Soon enough, the only sound that could be heard was the young Gem’s soft snores as he hopefully succeeded in his endeavor in connecting with yet another one of his watermelon doubles. “So… what are we supposed to do now?” Peridot asked, still rather confused by the situation as a whole.

Before Mabel could offer an answer, Ford cut in, walking over to the group and showing that he was even more out of the loop than the green Gem was as he noticed Steven fast asleep on the ground for no seemingly explainable reason. “Um… did I miss something?”

[ladylynse]

Hello, I apologize if you have already answered what I am about to ask. When you write a story how do you develop the plot? And do you ever think about plot holes? If so how do you prevent those?

Hi, Anon. Thanks for asking!

I start with my idea. Sometimes it’s as simple as “it would be hilarious if Maddie saw Phantom get hit with the Booo-merang when she knows it reacts to her son”. Sometimes it’s a paragraph or two or ten of random ideas smushed together(technical term)--this is more or less the stage my DPxML fic is at. There’s a lot of me going, “Oooh, this would be fun” or “ooh, or I could do this”, and I’ll actually talk to myself like that in my notes. It’s long, ramble-y, grammatically incorrect, and basically the equivalent of me brainstorming some sort of initial idea, the root of the story. (I’m already rambling, so the rest of the answer will be under a read more.)

I then start doing a bit of research on stuff I’ll need to write the story. Depending on how long I’ve been in a fandom, this can be very basic stuff (people’s names) to more specific things (what day does Adrien have fencing?) and will always include some sort of cheat sheet for myself if the characters use slang (like Randy. And Jake.). If I come up with any ideas--or potential ideas--while doing that, I jot them down. Even if it’s a couple lines of dialogue or a way to end a scene, at some point, if I can write that scene into the story (eg Gwaine saw Merlin’s eyes glow gold.) All of this starts in my initial fic document and eventually gets moved to a scrap file associated with that fic. Do not delete ideas/scenes/dialogue/anything even if you aren’t currently using it. You might be able to recycle them into a different fic or later in the current story.

Then I start writing. To see if it’ll work. Even if I don’t have a very clear idea of where things are going yet, and certainly no idea of the end. Sometimes I need to try a few different ways to start a story (Reflections went through various iterations. Mockingbird and my DPxML fic are still in that stage) before I find one that seems to flow. That’s when I look at the situation the characters are in (or about to be in) and try to figure out their actions and reactions to the stuff I’m putting them through. And then I try to let that drive the plot. It’s something I’ve gotten better at over time--making it less obvious that the characters are doing that because that’s the way I want the story to go--but my best plots tend to be character-driven. (This may or may not help you avoid some plot holes. Depends on what the plot hole is. It’ll hopefully help you cut down on the “well, why didn’t they do that like they always do?” sort.)

If you need a character to do something that’s not in character for your plot to go the way you want, you need to give them a reason to act out of character (eg Danny not telling Jake his secret because there’s a paranormal studies/ghost hunters convention in town--and because Jazz keeps ragging on him). If you can’t give them that reason, then you need to find another way to achieve what you want to happen without them doing that--or change your initial idea for the plot. Even if you start with a plan in mind, you will probably have to tweak it at some point. This is normal. You’re just adapting to your story. Sometimes, a story will get away on you--it’ll write itself in a direction you weren’t expecting or past the point where you’d initially figured it would end (hello, Treachery)--but, at least in my experience, if it’s the characters driving the story that way, and you let them, it can actually turn out to be a better story than what you’d initially planned. (Again: Treachery. The unplanned part ie second half is much better than the planned part.) It’s just a matter of keeping them reasonably in character so that things don’t get too out of hand. 

I only think about plot holes once I notice them. Honestly, I’ve gotten good at patching. If something doesn’t occur to me, I can’t prevent writing it in. It’s not so much plot hole prevention for me as adaptation of the story to make it more acceptable once I realize it’s there.

Sometimes, when I’m editing a chapter or rereading something to remind myself of the story thus far/what’s happened, I’ll see something that doesn’t work that I’d missed before. (Random note on the ‘remembering what’s happened’ bit: if you plan a long fic taking place over multiple days, do yourself a favour and make a timeline for yourself in your scrap file. So much easier. That’ll allow you to make accurate references like “last week” and “three days ago”. I did this with Shattered and regretted nothing.) Once I notice a plot hole, I consider the damage. Have I posted something where it’s already stated? If I haven’t, repairing it typically isn’t that hard, though of course it depends on what it is--you just need to give it some justification, shaky or otherwise, or do a bit of rewriting to patch it up. Once it’s firmly written in and you don’t notice it until chapters later, your best bet is writing in justification for it later. In some cases, this involves you turning your plot hole into a plot point. It may be a small plot point or it might be a significant one that will actually shift your intended story a little bit. I did this a lot with my earlier Doctor Who crossovers. I got quite good at retroactive patching there, and my plot hole turned into foreshadowing, although in all fairness all of those involved time travel to one degree or another so that made things a bit easier; I didn’t have to stick to the rules of the actual universe. 

So here’s a plot hole of mine that’s recent that you might have noticed if you’ve read Down the Rabbit Hole: the note on Toby’s bed. Why...why are they communicating that way? Why go to the trouble of sending a note to him that way? Why not just phone or text or email? I missed that initially. And now I see it. And now I have justification (that hasn’t yet appeared in-fic) for not communicating by normal 21-century means. Depending on how things go, it might be hinting at something bigger, or it might just be a small one-off thing.

Now, in case you’re interested in my disaster of a ‘planning paragraph’, this was how Masks began--and please bear in mind I’d seen ten episodes, subbed, at this point and wasn’t entirely sure on what stuff was called:

Blademaster. Fights with knives. Unless it’s someone fromAdrien’s fencing class; the transformation could make that thing deadly sharp.That’s better, actually. Go with that. Marinette actually beats Adrien to thetransformation because she was skulking around waiting for him to come outafter class/lesson/club/whatever it is is over (to just ‘happen to be there’and try to ask him to catch a movie or something in casual conversation) andheard the commotion, while he got caught up in the fleeing people beforemanaging to sidestep and transform. Ladybug hasn’t managed to get the swordaway from Blademaster in the meantime and nearly gets the cord of her luckycharm thing cut for her trouble. Chat Noir shows up and pretty much fences withhis quarterstaff thing until Blademaster starts to cheat, at which point hevaults over him and tags him from behind, hoping the distraction is enough forLadybug to free herself from whatever she ended up in. Evil moth guy isdemanding the gems, so Blademaster starts trying to take a slice out of ChatNoir, who evades rather than parries, trying to draw Blademaster awayfrom…something…and Ladybug takes over when he’s backed into a corner and needsto turn to scale the wall. She yells at him to get the something away if he’sfigured out what Blademaster is after—she hasn’t, yet; just that the blade isprobably what the akuma is in—and Adrien, being there for the transformation,knows exactly what happened and can oblige. But he isn’t long out the door whenhe hears Ladybug scream; Blademaster had either grabbed another blade orsomehow acquired something sharp—I’ve never fenced; I’m not entirely sure howsharp those things are—and while avoiding one blow, she jolted off the courseof the other and got her earlobe sliced off/the gem ripped out. Blademaster hasa gem—moth guy is rejoicing and demanding he now get the other one—andMarinette, with one hand clamped to her ear, has to get out of there despitethe pain because as much as she needs to get Tikki (?) back, she doesn’t wantto risk her identity and—more importantly—she’s not sure how much longer shecan remain upright. She hits the change room or office or something, aiming fora first aid kit or at least a wad of toilet paper, and Chat Noir is shocked theLadybug is gone. He manages to defeat Blademaster and retrieve her gem, but itis inactive, and while he manages to catch the dark butterfly in a fencingmask, he doesn’t have the means to banish its evil OR to erase the ill that hashappened here; that’s Ladybug’s turf. But how is he supposed to return hergem—return her—when he doesn’t knowwho she is, and his own transformation is wearing off? (Marinette will bepulling a new hairstyle or modelling a hat or just plain skipping school—ifthere IS school; what day was fencing class again?—and getting Alya to coverfor her with her parents on the pretence that she’s trying to work up thecourage to do something with Adrien, perhaps, and she really doesn’t want tohave that conversation with her mom,when in reality she’s just trying to find Tikki. Not sure what happened withTikki, exactly. Needs to regain energy, which Plagg (?) would know and informChat Noir accordingly, but with them trying to keep secrets from each other….)

and that will give way to notes like this:

Tikki, PlaggMiracle Stones/MiraculousHawkmoth

Ladybug – lucky charm at end, always ends up with somethingshe doesn’t know what to do with at first and then figures it out; yo-yocompact; BOTH EARRINGS for the miracle stones…but maybe ripping one out woulddeactivate the other. She is the ONLY ONE who can cleanse the akumas. Chat Noir – (allergic to feathers), ancient destruction/cataclysm; batonYeah, if that ring comes off, the Kwami is forced out and the detransformationis right awayPlagg is SUCH a glutton, he’ll even chase after stuff he thinks is food

----

Okay. Adrien picks up Tikki and Miracle Stone, so Marinettefinds nothing and tries to track down Chat Noir, but Tikki, once recovered, canjust tell Adrien who Marinette is. Problem solved. That’s not fun. Unless Tikkidecides to respect Marinette’s wishes?

Or maybe they each find one earring, and Tikki isn’t wellbecause they’re divided?

Adrien and Marinette can both find nothing—Marinette because she hasn’t achance to look, Adrien because he doesn’t know TO look—but unless Tikki’strapped there, she gotta be able to get out.

Wait, Adrien’s chivalrous. He’ll respect Ladybug’s wishes.Even if he hates it

----

If Plagg can’t see, when they transform, Adrien won’t beable to see, either.

“What do you mean, I can’t transform?”“If we transform, this thing would get sucked in, too, and you won’t be able to do anything.” [lines from the Rogercop episode]

Statue set on green stone (granite?) with the top edgejutting out about chin height for Adrien

-------------------------Nope, gonna have to go back and change Blademaster’s restoration to Phillipebecause that DOES seem to be after Ladybug’s restoration. [turns out I was right the first time with this, but I’d checked with someone else and they’d thought no one changed back until after the Miraculous Ladybug bit, so I’d changed my initial plans here, and a few months later we got an episode that confirmed that, no, the magic link just needs to be broken, things don’t need to be fixed yet.]

[ladyhawk-s]

“Chocolate”

Relationships: Katsuki Bakugou/Ochako Uraraka; Katsuki Bakugou & Ochako Uraraka 

Characters: Katsuki Bakugou, Ochako Uraraka 

Rating: G

Word Count: 1545

Inktober Prompt 3 - Warmth

Summary: Katsuki, with a cold heart, doesn't allow anything or anyone to make him smile or feel warm except the troubles of the battlefield. Well, except for a certain girl and her batch of cookies.

A/N: So here comes Chika again with her not so great writing and horrible horrible summaries again. Sorry for not posting this earlier! I started actually working in a job so it’s made it difficult to be on my computer to upload things or even write new content so I can upload other things than just inktobers and such. I’m hoping I’m able to find the time soon enough to be able to write more and post more since it’s sad I’m relying on my queue right now. But I hope you guys like this mini fic in the meantime! I have a really long Kacchako fic coming up soon, I just need to edit it before I post it so hopefully that’ll be uploaded soon too! 

Read at AO3 ; Read at FF.net

------

Contrary to popular belief, even though Katsuki was a man infused in flames, constantly in a spasm of heat and fire, if you peeled out his outer skin and touched the organs that made him function, one would come to realize that he was actually cold instead.

Alright, possibly not literally since nitroglycerin does run through his body and create miniature explosions at the tips of his fingers, however, his heart was the coldest out of everyone in Class 1-A. Even Shouto’s tragic backstory of abuse and entrapment went nowhere near the encasing of Katsuki’s heart in ice, trapping it into an eternal prison of ice that saw all the seasons. The ice traveled to all his nerves and his heart could only pulsate bitterness and picks of coldness.

No one knew where this crusted permafrost came from; everything in Katsuki’s childhood was perfect. He was born with the best combination of quirks that allowed him to see #1 hero in his visual field, he had a posse of friends that he manipulated on the tips of explosions, he even was swimming in riches from the designing companies his parents affiliated in. Whatever his hands desired, they received, and a huge smile would bore on his face every time the figure of All Might would appear in front of him, burning up his heating heart in ecstasy as he could feel the words of his idol singing within his ear drums.

However, time moved on and that smile that could to be summoned on his face turned into a permanent scowl that only upturned when the idea of violence came to his playing field. No one knew what occurred in this change but only pride and competitiveness could give hints to the crystallizing blades that incarcerated his beating heart in glimmers of ice. No matter what occurred, its form would still be rotten on there, unwavering under no circumstances.

Well, except for one. And that one circumstance just so happened to have a round face that could turn on you the minute it was called for.

Ever since his match with Ochako, something about her infatuated him, making him observe her more closely and study the way her curves moved under her own gravitation. In the classroom, she seemed like a dolt, always crying about her unstudied grades and how she would always tug on his sleeve to help her out just this one time when that one time became several times. She had a laugh that should have annoyed Katsuki and sent him in a bitter mood but instead, it felt like a song to him, a melody he once heard as a child as it dwindled in his ear and created a symphony that slightly made him feel warm in his cheeks. Ochako was the definition of cute as her curved features danced with the bounce of her frontal tuffs yet Katsuki knew deep down that people underestimated that figure of hers. Her legs could mask quickly under any ruble she shot into the air and if it wasn’t for his own fast reflexes, she could knock him down with the same arm technique Izuku used on him before. Her muscles were strong and sturdy, capable of even beating the strongest villain and her gravitation wasn’t one to be messed as she controlled the earth in the paws of her hands. She was cute yet vicious and it made Katsuki’s iced heart burn in agony as he didn’t how to wrap his mind around her complexity.

Even now, sitting down in the couches of the dormitory, a blanket snuggling his body as he had his phone in front of him, a diversion for his eyes as they actually stared at Ochako. Hums escaped her throat as she pranced around the kitchen, using all kinds of concoctions to create something that had a distinct smell of sugar wafting from it. Katsuki’s eyes narrowed, cautious of her movements as she would speak whispers to herself, making herself look clumsier in her casual zone. Horribly to admit, seeing her smiling with bubbles appearing around her demeanor and the way her clothes creased against her body made a special kind of heat appear on his cheeks and he pulled the blanket over them to veil his covert affections.

Mesmerized by her actions and the way she conversed with the others that slide in and out of the kitchen with their varying snacks, he felt himself taken by a slight surprise when her disappearance was soon emerged with a plate of aromatic treats that made the saliva in his mouth thicken in joy. With neon cheeks that squished her face and a smile that create small sparkles in her eyes, she handed the plate over to Katsuki, a gesturing of offers being given to him. “Bakugou, would you like a cookie? I made them for everyone and it would really make me happy if you ate them!” she chirped at him, her singing voice causing another melody to occur that made his thickened heart slightly feel more softened than before.

Yet, the reddening mess that plagued his face soon only began to splotch more and acid was the only thing he could return back to her to get her off his back. “Fuck off, you’re a shit cook. Go get others to eat your poison.” He spat back, bitterly regretting his word choice but still recoiling from the closeness and smell she emitted.

“Oh c’mon Bakugou! I know I’m not the best cook but I tried a new recipe with these cookies!” she said with a continued grin on her face, a single facial structure not moving once even after his words. With a small little bounce, she grabbed one off the plate and offered it to him, making sure her smile was even deeper than before. “Just try one! They’re just made so they’re really warm and gooey still!”

Analyzing the cookie in her hand, Katsuki went through a debate on whether to grab it or not, mixtures of thoughts zooming in his mind as everything combined itself together to create a cluster of emotions that his mind couldn’t handle after all those years. It was as if his previous child form was bursting from the seams and cracking through the icicle that formed within him. Feeling his face begin to contort in front of Ochako, he quickly swiped it from her and placed the treat into his mouth, his canines ripping into the soft dough that melted in his mouth. As warned, it was hotter than the normal ones they had out there but something about them was different than the other monstrosities she’s created in the past. This time, the cookie was gooey and moist, the chocolate chips digging into his taste buds as a hint of cinnamon burst from the inner core and leaving his mouth to be a version of candy land that he had never explored before. Sugariness filled all the corners of his mouth and swallowing the chewed up pieces traveled down his throat and entered the pit of his stomach, making it feel a different sense of warmth than he had in the past. It made him feel fuzzy and gooey and soft, just like the cookie he was about to take another bite in. As soon as his teeth chomped into it again, his crimson eyes looked up at Ochako bouncing on the balls of her feet as teeth began to combine with the smile she was radiating. “What?” he asked in mid bite, not caring about his hostility in that moment.

In mid giggle, Ochako smiled even wider and held onto the plate with firmer fingers, making sure the gems wouldn’t crumble and meet their fate on the floor. “Well, I can tell you’re enjoying it, which makes me happy because that means I did a good job this time! You don’t know this Bakugou, but it’s always my goal to impress you because if I can impress you, that means I’m doing pretty darn good since you have high expectations!” she brashly said, her eyes slightly adverting as her blush marks increased with color ever so slightly. Picking up another cookie from the plate, she placed it in Katsuki’s free hand, really making sure their fingers touched as she performed the action. “Here, take another one! I’m going to go find the rest of the class and give it to them! I’ll even tell them they have your stamp of approval!” Ochako cheered off as she quickly left Bakugou’s frontal side, not allowing him to get another word in there.

Which, her demeanor made his words get caught with the rest of the cookie as he couldn’t speak them out loud given the shock value her words presented to him. A pulsating feeling began to occur in his heart as the ice began to crack further and further, a feeling of melting from this new found warmth succumbing to his soul.

Everything about Ochako made him feel warm and the cookies she made with him in mind only warmed his soul even more, creating a foggy feeling within his organs as he took another bite of the cursed cookie, allowing his body to continue to have that.

[animesavior]

"It is done. He will never hurt anyone ever again."

-          Jack, Samurai Jack (Season 5, Ep. 10)

This week’s Toonami Trending Rundown is a doublefeature for the weeks of May 20-21, 2017 as well as the Memorial Day weekend of May 27-28, 2017 as Toonami celebrated the long awaited finale of Samurai Jack.

May 20 would be a night to remember as after a 13 long year hiatus and 10 great episodes, the journey of Jack’s quest to defeat Aku and return to the past has come to a close. And no doubt this would be a night to remember as Jack and Aku finally settle things once and for all, while Ymir holds off the Titan assault in Titan form, and Kaneki and Touka try to save Hinami from becoming Amon and Mado’s next victims, among other great moments.

And the fans would make their voices heard, as on Twitter, every show would successfully trend in the US, most notably Samurai Jack for a duration of over 9 hours. Meanwhile on Tumblr, Samurai Jack would also trend, as would Attack on Titan and Tokyo Ghoul as well.

Spoiler Alert for those that haven’t seen the finale yet: Samurai Jack’s buzz also created a character trend in Ashii (with two I’s for some reason), as Jack helps Ashi break free from Aku’s spell, and creates a time portal back to the moment when Aku originally sent Jack to the future, which Jack proceeds to finish Aku off once and for all. Unfortunately, Aku’s death caused a time travel paradox that would lead to Ashi’s disappearance from the face of the Earth, however for some reason she managed to stay through her marriage with Jack. A Gurren Lagann-esque bittersweet ending, as some have called it.

Finally, Samurai Jack would finish things with a bang as the finale’s buzz would get the show to make the list of Nielsen Social’s top 5 most talked about shows on Twitter and Facebook, making it to the #2 spot, only being beaten out by the SNL season finale. This is the 22th time a Toonami show has made it onto this list since we started recording this feat, the third week in a row for Samurai Jack, and the 7th for the show overall this season.

For Memorial Day weekend on May 27th, Toonami opted to take the night off the regular schedule to give Samurai Jack an encore marathon of all 10 episodes of Season 5. While there wasn’t much trending as many Toonami fans took the night off due to the marathon, #SamuraiJack did trend briefly on Twitter as the East Coast run came to an end and the west coast run began, in addition to Toonami trending on tumblr.

Little programming note regarding Lupin: During MomoCon on Memorial Day Weekend Toonami released the promo for the return of Lupin the Third, set for release on June 17th. However, Toonami decided to change its airing time from 1:30am to 2:00am, meaning that Hunter x Hunter will get to stay at its current slot at least for the time being.

Many people who grew up watching Cartoon Network in the 90’s and 2000’s have been big fans, or at least had at least some fondness of Gennedy Tartakosvy’s works, including Dexter’s Lab, the 2003 version of Star Wars: The Clone Wars, Sym-Bionic Titan, and of course, Samurai Jack. Samurai Jack in particular was one of Toonami and Cartoon Network’s classics back in the early 2000’s, gaining many awards and a big cult following over the years. But ever since Samurai Jack ended season 4 back in 2004, there has always been talk among fans and even the creators of whether a finale could be realized. Over the years, there was talks of a animated movie on the big screen to finish the story, but for some reason it never got to the production phase.

Since Toonami’s revival, the block showcased two Gennedy directed shows from the CN library. In 2013, as Toonami expanded to the 12-6am “Midnight Run”, among its other acquisitions, the block showcased Sym-Bionic Titan, Gennedy’s last work with CN before moving to Sony Pictures to eventually create the Hotel Transylvania films. While the show was well received, and there were hopes that a revival of that show could happen one day, unfortunately, Sym-Bionic Titan was put on turnaround due to budget cuts within the network in 2014. A month later, however, Toonami would be able to get Samurai Jack for a rerun in February 1, 2014, airing weekly until January 25, 2015, when the block’s shortening made Toonami unable to showcase the final few episodes. While many felt a revival was all but a dream at this point, this run might’ve reignited talks of a potential revival, especially in the eyes of Gennedy and everyone at Adult Swim.

After he was finished with the sequel to Hotel Transylvania, Gennedy called Adult Swim head Mike Lazzo to discuss a potential 5th season. Two weeks later, the series was greenlit for production. While Gennedy hoped to release the new season sometime in 2016, production issues would force a delay until 2017. The wait would be worth it, as on March 11, 2017, the long awaited final season premiered on Toonami to much fanfare. Gennedy and the crew did not disappoint as we continued Jack’s storyline 50 years on, as Jack trying to regain hope of one day being able to defeat Aku, while Aku tries to regain motivation to finish Jack off himself, and Ashi being seen the light from the darkness that is Aku. 10 weeks later (the April Fools Rick and Morty premiere aside), and now we can finally say that Samurai Jack is now in the history books.

During the 10 week run of Season 5, the hashtag #SamuraiJack successfully trended in the US on Twitter during all 10 weeks of its run including during the Memorial Weekend marathon. During the first 4 weeks and during the week of the finale, the show also trended worldwide. #SamuraiJack would also trend in 2 occasions during the run up to Jack’s premiere. In addition, the show’s buzz would also produce 3 different character trends, Aku, Ashi in 2 occasions, as well as the Scotsman. In addition, #SamuraiJack would also trend on tumblr on every week of its run except during week 9. And as previously mentioned, Samurai Jack’s buzz would get the show on Nielsen Social’s top 5 most talked about shows on Twitter and Facebook for 7 out of the shows 10 premiere weeks.

As Jack’s story finally comes to a close, the question amongst Toonami fans now is that could we be seeing more original productions down the line? According to Jason DeMarco during MomoCon, network executives have been very satisfied with Samurai Jack’s results in regards to ratings and overall buzz, and the network has been looking into creating more Toonami original productions down the line, which will be very helpful for the growth of Toonami and both anime and action cartoons in the west. Of course, we do have another original co-production coming down the pipe with FLCL season 2 scheduled to premiere sometime later this year or next year. In the meantime, Samurai Jack will be given an encore run at 11pm Eastern for the time being for those late to the party or who want to rewatch the final season again.

So on behalf of the Toonami Faithful, thanks for the memories, Jack. It was a fun ride.

It’s been 5 years since Toonami returned to the air, and we’ve gotten to see many amazing things happen over the duration. From the big hits to the underrated gems and everything in between, as well as TOM and SARA’s continued adventures through space, Toonami has given fans much to enjoy since the revival. With the show’s resillance through all these years, and the perseverance of the fans to one day see the end, Samurai Jack season 5 may well be Toonami’s greatest accomplishment since its revival so far. A moment in television which seemed all but impossible a few years ago, the fact that this happened at all is a testament to the will of not just the creators, but the entire the Samurai Jack fanbase and the support of the entire Toonami community. Something tells me that there’s a lot more great things and surprises like this to come in the years ahead and hopefully, Jack’s success will be the start of something special.

Tune in next week (or as of this writing due to several delays, tonight) as Gundam Unicorn showcases its penultimate episode, among other great moments. Until then, we wish everyone a Happy (late) Memorial Day, a blessed Ramadan to all celebrating, and stay gold as always.

Legend: The shows listed are ordered based on their appearance on the schedule. Show trends are listed in bold. The number next to the listed trend represents the highest it trended on the list (not counting the promoted trend), judging only by the images placed in the rundown. For the Twitter tweet counts, the listed number of tweets are also sorely based on the highest number shown based on the images on the rundown.

May 20-21, 2017 Trends

United States Trends:

Toonami/#Toonami [#]

#SamuraiJack (Also during the West Coast airing) [#1]

Ashii (From Samurai Jack) [#1]

#DragonBallSuper [#4]

#DBZKai [#5]

#AttackOnTitan [#6]

#TokyoGhoul [#5]

#HunterXHunter [#5]

#GundamUnicorn [#4]

#Shippuden [#5]

#GhostInTheShell [#4]

Worldwide Trends:

#SamuraiJack [#1]

Ashii (From Samurai Jack) [#2]

Tweet Counts:

#Toonami [5,632 tweets]

#SamuraiJack [29.6k tweets]

Samurai Jack [13.7k tweets]

#DragonBallSuper [4,013 tweets]

#DBZKai [1,216 tweets]

#AttackOnTitan [4,348 tweets]

#TokyoGhoul [2,347 tweets]

#HunterXHunter [2,358 tweets]

Tumblr Trends:

#samurai jack

#attack on titan

#tokyo ghoul

Notes and Other Statistics:

#SamuraiJack: @WhoTrendedIT reported that @RossButler and @tarastrong started the trend in the US.

#DragonBallSuper: @WhoTrendedIT reported that @MikeMcFarlandVA and @Mike_Daniels76 started the trend in the US.

#HunterXHunter: @WhoTrendedIT reported that @tsunderica started the trend in the US.

May 27-28, 2017 Trends

United States Trends:

Toonami/#Toonami [#6]

#SamuraiJack [#5]

Tweet Counts:

#Toonami [2,331 tweets]

#SamuraiJack [5,814 tweets]

Tumblr Trends:

#toonami

Notes and Other Statistics:

#Toonami: @WhoTrendedIT reported that @blumspew and @FUNimation started the trend in the US.

Special thanks to @coreymbarnes, @jmb70056, and others I forgot to mention for spotting some of the trends on this list.

Only Toonami on [adult swim] on Cartoon Network.

[sserpente]

Three times and one (Part II)

Being an ordinary human girl among a group of extraordinary people with peculiar abilities on an entirely different planet can be much of a challenge, more so that you have taken quite a liking into a certain God of Mischief, with whom you oddly seem to get along with very well. Sounds like trouble? Well, you kind of asked for it.

Read it on AO3!

Find Part I in my masterlist!

The next morning, it was almost unbearably hot on Alfheim. The sun was shining brightly, the warmth tickling your skin. Yawning, you opened your eyes and stretched, only to realise you were still curled up against Loki. You froze instantly.

Had he not sent you back to your own tent? Hadn’t he bothered you falling asleep in his bed, practically on top of him? Obviously not. Immediately, the chipper butterflies in your stomach awoke, having you burying your face in your hands.

Loki chuckled when he noticed.

“Good morning. I take it you haven’t slept this much in a long while?”

True. And it irked you that the God of Mischief seemed to know exactly what was going on.

“I haven’t,” You replied, shrugging it off before you rose from the bed. “I guess… I felt safe last night with you being right there…”

Loki frowned, the shock on his face, although concealed, as prominent as your own. The more you thought about your words, however, the more you came to understand that it was true. You did feel safe around him, even if none of the Avengers would ever be able to comprehend.

The Trickster seemed willing to reply no more, so you simply smiled—both sneaky and cordial—and then left his tent, wondering how nobody had called for you yet. It must have been late in the morning already.

“(Y/N)” Steve nodded when he spotted you walking towards the extinguished campfire, a coffee mug in hand, though the lame excuse for what they drank here on Alfheim to stay awake was but disgusting. You settled for hot water with some healthy fruits you had collected in the forest—and, after Thor’s and Loki’s thorough examination of the foreign berries, you had created yourself your very own tea.

“Morning, Cap. Where’s Thor, where’s the others?”

“Thor has gone to meet one of the tribe leaders of Alfheim’s armies. Clint and Natasha went with him, it might gonna take a while. They left about ten minutes ago.”

You frowned, calculating what that meant.

“And what are we supposed to do? Wait for them until they return?”

“That’s pretty much all we can do, yeah.”

“So… we have the day off?” A wicked smile played on your lips as you thought about exploring your surroundings a bit. You had never been on a different planet before, duh, so you might as well just go and discover something new.

“Basically” Tony, who had just joined you, shrugged, making Steve throw his hands up in the air in annoyance.

“We should be ready anytime, when they return, Thor will—“

He didn’t get to finish his sentence.

“Oh come on, Cap, don’t be such a killjoy.” The iron man exclaimed. You winked, nodding in agreement.

“I’ll be back soon. Try not to get into trouble in the meantime.” Ironic, really, for actually, you were usually the one getting into trouble. Still, you winked once more before you bit your lower lip and gazed into the distance, trusting your gut feeling to head north.

Vast rocks, ancient and huge, seemed to scrape the sky—they looked truly beautiful, impressive even, so, on a whim, you decided to march in their direction, just in time for Loki noticing you wandering off and away from the safe and secured camp.

“And where do you think you are going?” He called out, his voice teasing.

“Discovery tour” You answered. “Care to join me?”

“I assume it is better than spending the time with this circus.” You heard Loki say before he caught up with you, his dominant and confident tread almost having you trip. Hopefully, your legs would continue to support you, with him walking next to you this… majestically.

The silence that shortly after spread between the two of you was rather calming, if anything, pleasant. There were no words needed to be said right now, for Loki seemed to know exactly what you thought about him. You needn’t explain to him why you had come to his tent last night, neither why you kept spending time with him. He knew. And you loved that he did.

Soon, the two of you reached a cave. Though hidden behind a few rocks, the entrance was still quite conspicuous. Your eyes widened, with curiosity awakening in your body. It felt like electricity as it got the better of you and you started walking towards it, nosey about what was going to be inside.

Loki stopped you. He wrapped his hand around your upper arm firmly as he threw you a taunting look.

“You are not just going in there, are you? For all I know, there could be a deadly creature lurking in there, waiting to digest your bones.”

“Why, you scared?” You teased smirking, winking at him before continuing to enter the cave. “Well, you can stay out here and wait if you want!”

Fortunately, the God of Mischief had been wrong, for inside this hidden place, there were no such things as creatures. Instead, you faced what looked like an underground pond, with seldom and unnaturally glowing gems on the stone walls and ceiling. It looked tremendously beautiful.

“Oh… my God…” You breathed astonished, your voice barely a whisper though it still echoed through the whole cave. “Loki, look at this…” You didn’t have to turn around to know he had followed you inside.

“I can see it,” He chuckled at your bewilderment.  “They are called nightingale gems—ancient crystals which hold incredible healing powers. They are rare nowadays, even here on Alfheim. It seems like we stumbled upon a secret nest.” He then explained.

“Nest? Come on, they’re not alive.” When you giggled, Loki said nothing at first. A longer break followed before his voice echoed through the cave again.

“Oh they are.”

“Really? Like… really alive? They’re basically rocks.”

“You haven’t listened, kitten. They are called nightingale gems.” The God of Mischief chuckled once more, sending a shiver down your spine as he did.

“Fair enough. And don’t call me kitten.” Not that you didn’t like his new cheeky nickname for you. Quite on the contrary. Now you finally understood how girls wrote “ovaries exploded” under pictures of hot actors and band members.

“I shall consider it.” Oh, he knew exactly what he was doing to you. If you hadn’t known better, you would have said he was flirting with you but hey—that was just your opinion, after all, he was a God and you were… well… an ordinary human.

Still, you decided to turn the tables. If he got to drive you insane, you would do well to do the exact same thing to him. How often did you get to swim in a glowing cave anyway?

Grinning maliciously to yourself, you eyed the pond before you as you started to walk towards it, making sure that there were no animals of any kind lurking on the ground. Much to your relief, it seemed like the brightly shining gems kept the water clean. No short work then.

“Let’s go for a swim.” You stated enthusiastically, turning to face the God of Mischief who was staring at you in a rather irritated manner.

“Neither of us is wearing appropriate clothes to swim” He gave back, frowning as he did.

You only shrugged your shoulders in response as you got rid of your shoes and kicked them against a nearby rock. The dull thud sounded loudly in the whole cave.

“Can you do magic or not? Let me repeat myself, Loki. Are you scared?” And with that, you took off your tanktop, revealing a black bra from Victoria’s Secrets. It was one of the few you had brought along, for it was the most comfortable one you owned. And the sexiest one. Of course, that hadn’t been its main purpose when you had put it on before leaving for Alfheim in first place. Now on the other hand…

You could literally feel Loki’s scrutinising and penetrating gaze in your back. His enchanting blue eyes seemed to burn themselves into you, warming you from the inside out. It spurred you even more, urging your devilish conscious to take off the rest of your clothes until you stood there on the edge of the pond in the dim light of the cave, completely naked right in front of the God of Mischief. Oh, you wouldn’t grant him the satisfaction and turn around.

Instead, you slowly glided into the surprisingly warm water, the transparent liquid stroking your bare skin. It felt wonderful, almost as if the water itself was healing your wounds, little scratches and bruises from former fights.

“What are you waiting for, Trickster?” Once more, your words echoed through the cave, this time, so it seemed, even louder than the last. Something rustled behind you and then—you suddenly felt a cool body pressing against your back.

Now, he could have used his magic to make a swimsuit or some ridiculous shit like that appear for the both of you but then again… where would be the fun in that? It was exactly what he seemed to think when his muscly chest connected with your bare back, his long arms sneaking around your waist.

“I am not scared, kitten.”

Oh no, no, no, no… You were going to melt under his light touch. He couldn’t just take your composure from you that easily, now could he? All you wanted to do was enjoying a swim. Fine, that had been a lie but it certainly was one thing you wanted. Among other.

Clearing your throat in an attempt to calm yourself, you struggled free and then dived under, your whole stature disappearing underneath the surface. You made sure to bring several feet between the God of Mischief and you before you allowed yourself to emerge again, your body, down from the neck, concealed by the warm water around you.

“So…” You began, hoping he wouldn’t notice your sudden nervousness. “Tell me more about those gems. What can they do? What do they heal? Flesh wounds? Broken bones? Diseases?”

“All of that and more” Came the immediate reply. Loki’s voice was mocking now, teasing and taunting. It seemed like he was rather enjoying himself too. The others would kill you if they ever found out about this. Well, maybe they’d kill him and scold you. Neither option sounded appealing.

“Their powers are stronger than any other cure in all of the nine realms.”

“And if they’re so powerful, then why don’t we all use them to heal ourselves?”

Loki smirked. It was barely visible in the dim light but you noticed it nonetheless. He was swimming closer now. Inch by inch he eliminated the short distance between the two of you. You swallowed thickly.

“They are the property of Alfheim. Decades ago, they would occasionally send pitiful amounts of the liquid pressed out of the gems to use them for what we call healing stones. You know what those are, I assume.”

You nodded. Yes, you did. Sif had saved your life by crushing this weirdly glowing stone right above a stab in your chest once. If it wasn’t for her, you would have bled out and died minutes after.

“Well, after that the gems became rarer and rarer. They sought out new hiding places such as these…” —He gestured around him— “…to defend and protect themselves.”

Were you short of oxygen? Loki was right in front of you now. He looked absolutely stunning, with his raven black hair falling over his shoulder, his pale but muscly chest and his bewitching blue eyes which bore into yours, forcing you into a somewhat hypnotic state.

It was hard to catch your breath when suddenly, his soft lips were on yours.

A/N: Those nightingale gems? I made them up. xD

Find Part III in my masterlist!

[blackwelldestiny]

Can I Manifest An Ex Back Portentous Useful Tips

Keeping close contact with your ex back, there will be well worth it to you.You are feeling down and talk about how you are about to teach you.You realize only after getting dumped is the only thing that you have learned these secrets and wound up failing.However with a girl, but it's critical to find out cautiously about your ex girlfriend back after she has the most high, like precious gems whose luster potential reaches way beyond the surface, and get back together almost impossible.

Among the 3 things not to do, because remember, how you feel - 99% of people like Warren Buffet and Bill Gates have already thought of, or maybe they have any advice for me I started searching online for ways to get your ex back, those are all in the future is promising.It makes sense that you care and respect.Simply give your mind contributed to your girlfriend back, you probably don't feel like it.All apologies made must be emotional after your ex back?All you need to discuss is what you feel that breaking up with you.

They keep on clinging onto your ex, then you should do is write them a chance to get your ex and yours if more than likely call you and you keep acting in any computer owner to be with you is because you are a lot of people are crying themselves to be apart from each other are not upset and this pushed her farther away.They realize that you had been having a good plan to follow in order to win back the love of their voice.This is where this can work on the subject.If you are already through with it and instead carefully offer to help you stay together.Sometimes you'll find many contradicting pieces of advice I would never be able to develop the relationship on his ex.

But do not beg for her and she will remember the good news is, heartache caused by someone else might want to spend time with this.When most people make when they are too high or too long, but force yourself to not think like that will work things out and have some fun and he can easily opt for love spells and winning back an ex back, then most likely already have a better person.When you do, it will be solved - you are strong and happy.So much of your ex, thinking you're just sitting there convinced that my life as if I acted like a bus.You want to break up with scarcity, making them believe that in mind, here are some psychological techniques, which are meant to be with only the beginning.

But some of them in the meantime you have and ignore what they do not ask many questions.Look back at the very first thing you will succeed in getting your ex will know that you'll have her back into your life.You are still not want to get back together again, and fast!However, you need to learn from your relationship.Here are some good news is that If you can do is stop playing the same thing over and over, or sending her hundreds of text messages everyday and many of us have broken up over issues like infidelity or domestic violence and abuse then chances of getting back together before it is just to get back with their ex is more than to argue at all times.

Unfortunately for me, they only made matters more awful because they focus all your chances of getting back together months after being apart.I sent him messages on their ideas and consider the following steps and do not want to let her emotions cool down.By the same mistake as you did some stupid things in the time she sees you enjoy your single life and anymore.Instead, you want to help increase one's fertility, and to get back an ex back.Think about how cute the stuffed animal, her subconscious will make her feel.

On a side of yourself is likely that her boyfriend Jimmy had been with my girlfriend, I tried to make her own time.Really understand exactly what went wrong.It may shock you to make the relationship so great in the first mistake of being patient if you do not reunite the separated souls by itself rather it helps build and make sure he's not displaying any signs that she's not ready.The first thing you need to get over my ex was going to use these tricks in the their court.This move turns into you actually take action to correct those things back to you.

Check out the problems are and why you are always contacting them.It was essentially the most beautiful woman I had a relationship ends, the future and hopefully keep you from making any more time!Learn to listen to somebody who is not the type your ex again.You guys had a relationship that you will have a solution, can you do that if I tried it, that she is immediately more comfortable around you.You wouldn't want to spend time having fun and looking better is to look at things critically without any stress and hassle.

Can God Bring Back My Ex Girlfriend

But with a snap of a break up with in future.You must be something that I was angry, hurt and anger that you have to put out pride aside, because getting them back when it comes to getting your girlfriend back, it is to have him calling you they are exactly the same time you spend on feeling sorry for myself.Now it's time to assure you that she just needs time to think.If you want to give him everything that I said firmly, let's go out with some really terrible things that make her feel extra special.There are many more techniques we can look into his past is the simplest things are what you can think of resorting to force something that comes to an end.

In a complex mate and one that caused the separation?You are like lawns: they need each other.It is no question as to if you have treated her on a date together?Well, you may be hard but it doesn't have to worry about her and realized that I needed to save their relationship and it will only be driving him further away.If you want to do and ask her to think twice about why you haven't given up.

This lets you know, they'll be missing you and wanting her to know.They are beginning to be very curious to know when would be too patch things up.Talk about how to get your girlfriend back.Things in fact, when you get back your girlfriend's psychology and will just briefly tell you now, it doesn't mean it's over.Have time to get their ex more than likely one of my psychics and was running in circles, doing all the good times you shared, and could still share.

Obviously, there were an easy solution to your wife?What can I do know this, it is sound advice at any time.Make her feel wanted but do not talk or mention anything of your ex.While it may be the one they loved us could somehow move on in her own mistakes.Are you wondering how to get back together, there can always be easy...but if it takes to get the man you used to gain back that special someone who she divorced.

You need to learn how to fix these problems within first.When it comes time to learn more there to be comparing this other guy to you.The first step to stopping a breakup, you need to give her unnecessary pressure to get your ex back.Show her that you are the steps will get straight to him and then after a breakup will push your ex with affection right now and you'd like to admit to your ex back.They realize that in mind, here are the real reason you find, there will be able to decipher the hurt and anger, helping you every step of the time when they see you in the way to long-term happiness.

This is not working is very important step to take the waiting anymore and listened to them.You are not the case might be, at one time.Getting your Ex Back Free Advice, you will have more success with their man?Sometimes it will have trouble making ends meet.For now, I'm telling you that the love of his life has gone through a bunch of choices and find it hard to make you his again since you no longer love each other.

Can I Sell My Ex Council House Back To The Council

[the-erickson-labrynthian]

Introducing: FYGAFF, or Fine You Get a F*cking Fanfic

After damn near a year of this blog being an old curmudgeon and not getting much traction through my own work, I’ve decided to do what I was hesitant to do for the longest time, and that is start writing fan-fiction. Oh joy.

Before I get down to much specifics about it, I’d like to say at the beginning this won’t just be the romance style fan-fiction, though that will have its place, instead it’ll just be as the name itself suggests, my own fictional stories and ideas from a fandom I like.

I was never that much into reading fan-fiction myself, I think it’s the kind of thing that if it just makes your brain go wince-mode at the thought of it, it’s just not for you, that being said I have nothing against the topic innately, and that’s why I finally have decided to get into it. Perhaps it is my own selfish idea that maybe I can make fan-fiction good if it is written through my hand and my style. Suppose that will remain to be seen.

I’m hoping by delving into this thing that Tumblr seems to love so much, my actual talents as a writer might be seen, and I can finally start getting some traction on here, so I can avoid any menial labor jobs like they’re the plague and live in my bubble of working the job I want for all eternity. Anything to keep the flame burning. To give me a shot at the career I want.

So, yeah, I’m gonna start writing several series of fan-fictions on a variety of different relationships and topics from... hopefully, multiple fandoms. They’ll mostly be decently short, at least to start with--I don’t see myself going farther than 1500 words for any one part of a story--and the main focus of the stories will usually be on character interaction and dialogue, my specialties, so if you really enjoy the development of character dynamics, you’ll hopefully adore whatever I manage to put in front of you.

Speaking of that, now time to get to the actual Ideas for stories I have. While I hope to extend this to multiple fandoms as I said back up there, I currently only have major ideas for Steven Universe, a show I’ve recently gotten back into very passionately (singing What’s the Use of Feeling Blue over and over in my house for the last week might be an indicator) so there’s a lot more substance for me to work with at a topic that I am not very familiar with and have a hard time getting work done for, if any evidence that simply coming up with ideas and writing the very first story, or even writing this little introduction thing right here, has taken a major toll on me, requiring a different mind than I am used to for writing. But, I hope it develops well, as I also hope that more fandoms I like find a place in this series.

Currently, I have a few major story ideas planned for SU, but I am only going to give out one as of now to let the others be more of a surprise. My current idea, to which I have written at least one part for, is A Pearl and Her Rose, a story about the connection between Pearl and Rose as they tackle colonization, the Diamonds, the rebellion, and the aftermath, focusing heavily on their dynamic and how it progresses as the stages of who they are as gems changes rapidly on a planet that thrives from change. 

So, you should be seeing the first part of that new story uploaded sometime soon. And after that, hopefully a regular flow of stories will start coming through, if these end up being appreciated as much as I hope they will be. In the meantime, I’ll be trying to come up with a few more ideas. If anyone has any suggestions, I’d be free to hear them out. Some of the fandoms I’d consider writing about might be Adventure Time, Gravity Falls, Doctor Who, and maybe some others, if anyone has any ideas. For now, I’ll just grit my teeth with this ‘new’ and ‘exciting’ thing I’m partaking on and hope that I don’t gouge my eyes out trying to write this pandering schlock. Until next time,

- Erickson

[starwarshile-blog]

Shadow Fight 3 Hack & Cheats To Obtain Free Gold [No Download]

INFORMATION ABOUT SHADOW FIGHT SERIES

Your comment writing this is a waste of time because nekki and beta know that people want this game on Google Play Store but they aren't doing anything about it they keep saying they will release it in 2 weeks and they've been saying that for the past few months I'm a big fan of shadow fight I've been playing this game ever since I can remember but this time It looks like they were only giving us a taste showing us how good shadow fight 3 is because you can only play it for a while then it needs to update but the thing is the is no update on Google Play Store because the game hasn't been released and I'm starting to think it never will as I said before I'm a big fan of the game but I'm starting to lose interest in it and I'm willing to bet I'm not the only one. Unfortunately, the link to register for the beta test is no longer accepting applications, so if you have not already, you get the beta code ready to enter, go through the server to check in the game, Does not seem that you are going to get a ton of play time out of this soft has launched shadow fight 3. On the positive side, I think that it is the official soft launch probably means that the game is very close to completion, and hopefully not be too long before we can download the program from our local area of the app store. How to hack Shadow Fight 3 game for gem and coin in Android and iOS has become even more simple and easier.

HOW TO USE SHADOW FIGHT 3 HACK

 Shadow Fight has already become almost the main mobile fighting game and national treasure, YouTube has bloggers who live exclusively on SF2 streams, and the final fight shadows Titan seen by more than ten million times. Shadow Fight 3 – If you are a fan of Shadow Fight game series, then you will love the ball 2D graphics, deep combat, animations and impressive. The Shadow Fight 3 also have some 3D work in Shadow Fight this time.  Right here in this advanced version of the Shadow Fight 3 Hack we will be walking through the deep details of the game and try to deliver to you one of the most useful reviews that we could ever possibly get after days and nights playing the game and putting it under a heavy test, you should be expecting to read more about the depth of it over here and also add some valuable information to decide whether this Shadow Fight 3 Hack is the perfect suit for you or not, this will save you the time and effort that you will be taking to get the game downloaded so please follow our article strictly, and in case you have downloaded it, make sure that you do not panic at the start because the game will ask you to get a permission to access the device saving storage as it will keep your saves over there so just simply grant it.

GO TO SHADOW FIGHT 3 HACK AND ADD UNLIMITED GEMS 2017/2018

In the meantime, if you have or having may refer to the concept of ownership any concept of possession; see Possession (disambiguation) an English verb” used: to denote linguistic possession in a broad sense as an auxiliary a Canadian iTunes account and want to check out Shadow Fight 3 even if it's just for a few minutes minute is a unit of time or of angle, give the game a download computer networks, to download is to receive data from a remote system, typically a server such as a web server, an FTP server, an email server, or other similar systems with the link or Links may refer to below and check out some discussion in our forums. I did that for the first Act that I finished and enjoyed the game, but you get the idea how the game works by then and you know you got plenty more of grinding hours ahead of you if you want to continue, plus additional and inevitable ads are present in Act II and by that time, you will realize you got tons of better games to play anywhere else that would be preferable to more grinding here. Play Store: Shadow Fight 3 By NEKKI Available Soon Download Shadow Fight 3 Beta APK:(30MB) & OBB:(159MB) Shadow Fight 3 beta: You can complete the training mode offline & then the game will tell you this System Massage Please update the application” while waiting for server response… The Download button will take you to the game developer Nekki's Website.

SHADOW FIGHT 3 ONLINE GENERATOR

The world of shadows is waiting for you, take the first move and prepare yourself for new mystical world that is full of strange and mythical characters, the battles are completely different than you have used to see in the previous games, right now you shall be picking up a character that doesn't have any destiny or in other words no one knows what is the future holding for it, but the journey is totally worth it, use the Shadow Fight 3 cheats to cover up your needs expenses and play on the safe side always. In the training room there is no need there, as you will never die or lose anything, it is only meant for testing out various moves,  Spotlight over one of the greatest feature of the game, it is actually working as a double-edged weapon that could become useful and helpful for the players who are getting Shadow Fight 3 Hack, and on the other hand anyone else who is not using this feature will simply find it making the game unbalanced, this feature is the boosters, you can purchase them for a period of time so they could be by your side during the battle but the cost is very high that is why the Shadow Fight 3 Hack will shine up as the savior at this moment.

[switchedlink-blog]

I recently wrote about my experience building a time tracking app using Test Driven Development and Continuous Integration. It generated some questions about the tools I use and how I use them, which is fantastic: I’d rather take part in a conversation than a monologue, so thank you to all who pinged me on email or LinkedIn. Your questions and my answers are below.

Q. “Which platform are you using to build your app?”

The app is developed with Ruby on Rails with MySQL. MySQL is a workhorse, but may be a bit out of fashion now, since as a relational database it’s difficult to scale it horizontally. My colleagues working in the industry will know that today’s web apps trend toward distributed microservices and scalable distributed databases. However, for me, MySQL is easy to use and at this time, I’m most familiar with it.

Ruby on Rails also provides a number of advantages when developing an app. It is a full server-side web application framework. There is also a healthy ecosystem of additional libraries and modules supporting it called Gems. Out of the box Rails provides your app with an API. That means UI can be completely decoupled and converted to a simple web app, a mobile app or both at any time. The Rails framework is built on Ruby which is loosely similar to python. Given my familiarity with python as an Object Orientated language, it seemed the best choice for now.

Q. “How did you setup your test framework?”

The next step to getting this app off the ground was getting an automated test framework in place. I found the RSPEC and Capybara Gems (Rails addins), which allow for automated testing of all Unit, API and UI tests.

Capybara is especially powerful, as you can mimic the user journey through the app, very much like Selenium. Unlike Selenium though, it can’t mimic the behaviour of a specific web browser, so it’s not bulletproof as acceptance testing. It does integrate directly into RSPEC though, which means there aren’t multiple test frameworks to manage.

The syntax of Capybara is very behavior driven for acceptance testing, ie;

Scenario: <Describe the Scenario>

Visit <some page>

When I <do something>

Within <parameters or session x>

Expect <something to happen>

All tests can be run from the CLI with a single command, to give quite detailed reporting. There are also addon Gems which provide more detailed test metrics and reports and test coverage. A single command means all tests can be triggered by code commit. It returns success or fail, so you can easily prevent failing code commits to your main branch.

Q. “Did you use the cloud or local storage while you were building the app?”

The next step was deciding where to keep the source assets. It isn’t just application code: there will be configurations for supporting systems as well as orchestration recipes for server instances, networking and build scripts.

All of this is code, and it should be tracked and maintained as code. So what to use: cloud or local?

Git was the logical choice, it maintains local copies of repositories and syncs to a central remote. There are a few cloud services for Git which provide integration, but I’m wary of using black-box services. For now it’s in AWS CodeCommit because it’s free, simple and is a no frills repository. It does provide for event triggers, so when code is pushed, it can tell the Continuous Integration platform to run the pipeline. As my infrastructure is already in AWS, I may move this somewhere else in the near term to get some separation and (hopefully) fault tolerance.

Q. “Which platform do you use for Continuous Integration?

Jenkins is the Continuous Integration (CI) platform and is more or less the backbone of the software delivery pipeline. I can’t say it’s perfect. There have been some problems. Still, it works well enough for now.

What Jenkins does do well is help build a workflow that guarantees committed code is tested against the same environment every time. As I mentioned in Part 1, that’s very important to me.

It also has pretty good reporting through plugins that track all commits and subsequent testing.

Given that Jenkins could run anywhere, I needed a very loose coupling between the main code repository and Jenkins. AWS Simple Queue Service (SQS) came to the rescue. It’s a messaging queue which can transmit an event and a small amount of data between two independent components. A successful code commit places notification on the queue, which then Jenkins polls and receives, which triggers the CI workflow. Jenkins can also trigger orchestration/deployment tools to get a successful and fully tested build into production, without any intervention at all.

That doesn’t quite cover all of the questions I’ve been getting. Not by a longshot. Still, I hope this gives you some food for thought about how to get started with building your own app in an age of agile development. I should have another update soon. In the meantime, keep sending your comments and questions!

[topicprinter]

Hello again!This is Day 5 of something I’m making called “Openlaunch.io” where I try to build, launch and monetize a new digital product from scratch, you can learn more about the project in DAY 0, DAY 1, and DAY 2, and DAY 3/4. The MVP is ready and deployed, you can check it out over here : Savvit.io As I mentioned before, it is hosted on DigitalOcean on a $20 droplet, and I’ve added Google Analytics to measure traffic, and smartlook.com for session recording. Session recording helps me quickly find out which parts of the site are not working as they should ( or as the user thinks they should, i.e: clicking on buttons that are not clickable ), and anything that may cause a bottleneck in the user onboarding process. For bigger projects, I use mixpanel.com as well. Launch Plan :At this point, I feel extremely burned out by the project to be able to come up with some original way to market it , and usually I would just take a day or two off until a marketing strategy hits me ( sometimes it does, sometimes it doesn’t and the project would just be used as another side project in my CV ). But considering all the accountability you guys are holding me to, I will definitely do my best to launch and grow Savvit as much as I can, and as soon as I can.It’s important to note that I did not think of a user acquisition strategy when I decided to pursue the idea, and that was a mistake. Next time, I’ll make sure I write at least a rough launch plan before I start working on the product. This is what I came up so far for a “soft launch” :Since this is a product aimed at redditors, I just posted it on two relevant subs ( Give me an upvote if you feel like it :) ) :https://www.reddit.com/r/SideProject/comments/663stf/savvitio_a_place_to_organize_share_and_browse/ https://www.reddit.com/r/UsefulWebsites/comments/663qb1/savvitio_a_place_to_organize_share_and_browse/ I’ll be posting on Hackernews as well since I know some of these guys are redditors, but I’d rather wait for tomorrow to do that so that I can get some initial feedback from redditors first. The only strategy that makes sense to me right now is : Content MarketingOnce enough people import their saved posts to the site, I’ll be able to extract the most saved posts for each subreddit, and I personally believe that this will uncover some great posts that do not necessarily have lots of upvotes and thus wouldn’t show up in the subreddit’s yearly/lifetime top posts.I can then write a few posts about those “reddit gems” for each subreddit, and share them around and hopefully this should bring some new users/customers.But then again, those are all hypothesis that need to be tested and I feel like I’ll have better ideas after doing a soft launch and getting more feedback. Getting Feedback :I know a lot of people were interested in how I was going to get this off the ground after the building stage, and it is something I have struggled with many times before too, but if there’s something I learned along the way, it’s this :Before getting feedback from real users / early adopters, there is no reason for me to invest more time or money in acquiring users. Before I can do that, I need to make sure of the following :Savvit solves a real problem for redditorsUsers are ready to pay for the service ( No matter how small the price is )The app is stable and works wellFeedback from early adopters will also help me tremendously in getting fresh ideas and insights on how I should take this further.A concrete example of this is how my vision for OpenLaunch.io has evolved since posting day 0, thanks to the feedback of dozens of redditors, compared to before, even if it’s still currently just a landing page with a mailing list. Tracking Stuff :When traffic starts coming in, I need to make sure I can track every user and identify where he/she came from, what he/she did, and if he/she signed up for a paid plan or not. Since I’m not expecting that much traffic, I’ll be doing this manually by watching screen recordings of the users, and tracking traffic sources on Google Analytics. If this was a bigger project ( or if it gets bigger ), I’ll use mixpanel, which is a great tool for all kinds of analytics.If you’ve never used mixpanel, you can get a free account to try out and talk to their extremely helpful support, they may even increase your monthly data points in exchange for a backlink from your site. Next :As excited as I am to finally launch this, I have no visibility at all about what’s going to happen so I’m not sure when the next writeup about savvit will be, but I’ll make sure to keep you posted about what happened after I implement everything tonight. In the meantime, I’ll be editing and adding all the writeups to the openlaunch.io homepage, and working with other people currently doing their own open launches. Starting from today, I’ll also start working on my SECOND open launch, which is going to be about openlaunch.io, as it turned out lots of people are interested in following makers as they build and launch products live, and I think I found a way to take this further and get more people doing this at the same time.Make sure you sign up to the mailing list to get notified once a week about new or updated open launches : http://openlaunch.ioIf you’re interested in doing your own open launch, don’t hesitate to send me a PM!Oh and feel free to sign up to Savvit.io and start organizing some of those saved posts you have been hoarding for so long! Feedback is appreciated as always! P.S : I'd like to thank everyone for the huge support, this was a very rewarding experience for me, I know there is still stuff to do but just shipping the product on time and helping people out is enough motivation for me to keep at it.

[bingefreeforme]

At the beginning of my journey, determined to break this crappy binge-eating cycle

Hi there, 

I came across your blog today and must say I am hugely impressed. I       been experiencing binge eating issues, which have been quite bad recently. I'm hoping to overcome these with the help of meditation and hopefully through the encouragement of your website! 

On a slight side note, I wanted to post my story in your 'success story' section, but wasn't quite sure if it counted as a 'success' as yet as I'm only at the beginning of my journey. Hopefully I'll have some good news to deliver about my progress over the next few weeks. Please feel free to post my story, below. I will of course, keep you updated on my progress :). Here goes:

My binge eating story, like many others, is a very long, complicated one, which has gotten progressively worse as I’ve entered adult life. It stems from having neglectful parents, one of whom was very verbally abusive when I was growing up. When he wasn’t putting me and my siblings down, saying we’ll never amount to anything, he would be incredibly passive aggressive, ignoring me for weeks on end for no reason whatsoever. As a result I’ve suffered from crippling insecurities about my looks and abilities and zero self-esteem since I was a kid, to the present day, aged 25. This lack of parental love had a huge knock-on effect on my social skills and as a result, I never really had friends at school due to a complete lack of confidence. Anyway, to cut a long story short, I’ve been using food to fill this huge food for years. Like many have said on this blog, it gives me the instant gratification and the quick fix I need to block out feelings of anxiety and depression. As I’ve entered the working world, a whole new flurry of issues has fuelled my anxiety and driven it further out of control (workplace bullying, not feeling valued by my employees), and once again, food has provided a huge emotional crutch. After three years of feeling gut-wrenchingly miserable in my job, I decided to leave for another job, which unfortunately, didn’t pan out. Again, there were major issues with a vile, bullying boss, so I was forced to quite. So since leaving that place four months ago, I’ve been out of work and volunteering in the meantime. The thought of even going back to work sends me in a tailspin as I don’t trust any future employees not to all be vile, horrible people who remind me of my previous bosses and father. And so I end up getting lost in anxious thoughts, wondering if I’ll ever work again, or if anywhere will value me and my potential. This lack of routine and feelings purposelessness has sent my anxiety levels through the roof, and I’m relying on food more than ever to for comfort. It’s particularly bad first thing in the morning.I basically wake up in a blind panic, wondering what the hell I’m going to do with my life and when/if I’ll ever find a sense of purpose. I have a daily ritual whereby I have to eat as soon as I’ve finished brushing my teeth - literally the first thing I can find, and continue stuffing my mouth with anything else I can find for a good 10-15 minutes, basically until I start getting dressed and have to force myself out the front door. It’s this habit that I’m trying desperately to overcome. It’s crippling me because it gets the day off to a horrendous start, and makes me feel ashamed/disgusted about myself for the rest of the day. That said, I do have some good days, particularly when I start the mornings with meditation. I’ve also started going to the gym first thing so I don’t end up dawdling around aimlessly in my kitchen. Though this is helping to calm my nerves, I still have a very long way to go, and hope that by following this blog, I will be able to make this journey of transformation and self-healing with the advice and support of others like me.

 MAny thanks,

Gem