#and then ill have to come up with sth new to write the fic

[mirersc]

-imma have alone the title for now till the cover art is ready, oops-

« LoST SiGNaLs » || I ACT

SUMMARY

“Say, Sonic, how about you and I play a game? Think of it though as a tracking skills test! Bring me within a week the three pieces of the chaos pentagon and I will release your two friends. Refuse and they pay the price. Trick me and well, better for me not to indulge in what I will do in that predicament. Either scenario, I sti~ill win.”

~~~

When Tikal summons Sonic to Angel Island the hero would have never been able to imagine what would follow after. It is unbelievable to think that the guardian of the Master Emerald, Knuckles and the ultimate lifeform, Shadow are taken as hostages. As Eggman forces Sonic on a quest to retrieve an old artifact for him, entitled ”Chaos Pentagon”, the blue blur is to set after a journey with the aid of Rouge the Bat and E-123 Omega to find the three shards of the object in question.

For them to succeed they will all need to be on the same wavelength. Are they however? And what seems to be the deal with Sonic’s communicator? Secrets are lurking around yet no one bats an eye. Will the trio actually manage to get along in the end to save their friends from the mad scientist?

Set after Sonic Frontiers. Please meet the newly formed team of Lost Signals. Or not so new?

❗link to fic:: here!

Heya, guys! Myler’s here! And guess what? Yep, yep! I have been as well participating in the STH Big Bang 2024 event with all the amazing writers and artists you have seen so far! Today is the last posting day so everyone is hoping that you will still enjoy the third batch’s works.

I participated as a writer on the event and I came up with a work called “Lost Signals” featuring a story around Sonic, Rouge and Omega because I thought it would be an interesting team to search the bonds between them.

Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to produce all the work since I didn’t work well with my given time, but it had still been a blast to write as far as I got, successful managing to cover ACT 1!

Big thank you to the @sthbigbang for hosting this lovely event! You guys rock and without y’all this event wouldn’t have happened and none if all these works would have been made. We will always remember the fun times we had while contributing in the event and the friendships or acquaintances we made along the way. You better take the credit you are been given for you deserve them!

🥁

And now ladies and gens and creaturas, a big THANK YOU to all the wonderful artists that accompanied me in this journey, @rapidhighway @rohansoutsidemydoor @petitcanard and despite my incompetence and FUULL delay, heh, they saw it through and were as supportive as one could be! Truly I wouldn’t have made it without them.

Be sure to congratulate them and check their astonishing art pieces for they are sure captivating and pretty much describing without words the story for you all to listen to and imagine~

@rapidhighway :: art! → CH 1 “Spirit’s Worry” who doesn’t love a laid-back sonic the hedgehog? I truly adore sooo much this art piece! The calm before the storm *cough cough*. I specifically got drawn by the flowers– like c’mon! They are so pretty! And palm trees. The colours all so vibrant and for real Green Hill couldn’t have looked any better! Dare I say I envy him -only at the beginning :)), shh-

@petitcanard :: art! → CH 4 “Mirror, mirror on the Wall” this art piece finalized the outfits and accessories of the characters which they all rooock!!! You can all see perfectly well from this specific work how the interactions have between Sonic, Rouge and Omega. I love how Omega wants to fry Sonic! “A not-completely-functioning team” she described them, which is indeed right, hehe.

@rohansoutsidemydoor :: art! → CH 8 “Keep away. Don’t come closer. Danger! Stop!” this made me write chapter 8 faster than the speed of sound! The realization, the mystery, the agony. Breathtaking! The expressions of the characters do make me have chills running down my spine and the blazy environment of the art, is top. They did the specific moment justice! << SPOILERS >>

Another part of my gratitude certainly goes to my beta reader @lunesart who despite my inactiveness at some point she was sure to check up on me and helped me lots with her useful tips and guidance. The speech without her would have been very dry and more complicated in comparison to the final result. Sooo special kudos to her too ✨!

Also– before I wrap things up– HAPPY BIRTHDAY 🎂 SONIC 🌀💨 !

[pixelatedraindrops]

Hello everyone!! Today I grow a year older :3 (and I hate it lmao) FEEL FREE TO REPLY BIRTHDAY WISHES IF YOU WANT :3

So, over the time I've come back here, I've become pretty confident and proud of my once hidden passion about sick characters, sickfics and sick comfort/whump... 🌡️

And you all have been so supportive and sweet despite my weirdness so I thank you for that. You helped me feel more confident in my otherwise weird fixation <3 So, for my birthday I thought I'd try and make up a little drawing challenge for anyone who wants to give it a try... There are soo many talented artists on this site (and in this fandom)

So... It's your turn to target your faves now. You will see how fun it is and hopefully understand why I love doing it so much. 😈🌡️

(plus it's my birthday and I require some sustenance LMAO JKJK)

But yeah anyone can join in. This is just for fun though! You don't have to if you don't want to! I think its okay to ask for some food on my birthday though...right?? X'D So if you wanna do sth for my birthday...then... 👉👈 💦

CHALLENGE BELOW~

DRAW YOUR FAVE ON A SICK DAY CHALLENGE🌡️😷🥵🤧

~~~~

(Mmmmkay, I am lying to myself when I say this isn't mostly aimed at the RainCode community... X'D Can't help myself. But anyone can join regardless of the fandom!!)

So here's the challenge and the rules!! (featuring my two main lil targets ofc :3)

Regardless of who it is, put your fave through some sickness hell >:3c I'd love to see it! Make em' as miserable as you want!

destroy them 😈 jkjk XD

If you're in the RainCode community you can target anyone, but as you know, my main targets are Yuma and Makoto. If they're also your faves and who you decide to use, that will make me extra happy!

Some tips for anyone new to drawing a sick day scenario art. A few things that make it look convincing are the following:

Pajamas or Loungewear

Messy Bed Hair

Fever flushed face w sweat or at least a red nose

Tired Eye bags

Shivery body

Ice Pack or a Compress on the head

Thermometer sticking from their mouth

LOTS OF BLANKETS

Tissues or medicine surrounding them

Tea or Soup (or both)

Those are just to name some from the top of my head. If you'd like some pointers on how to make a character look ill, check out my Fever Coloring Guide. This is for digital artists but traditional artists can try it too!

You can add injury or angst to the scene but I'd like illness to be the main focus of it.

The scene can be anything you want to, it can be fluffy and wholesome (with a caretaker) it can be angsty, or it can be silly. Its all up to you! Do it for the sake of fluff! Caretaking scenes are the best for any kind of relationship >w<

Either way, have fun with it!! I look forward to see what people make if they decide to give it a try! It doesn't even have to be a full on picture! Doodles and sketches are fine too! Just show me something >w<

(feel free to tag me and say happy b-day and mention my challenge, I am proud to be known for this and would love for many to participate :3) I wanna see you take a go at it :3 Show me your style! :D

~

~~~

(wow look at me misspelling the word writing on text when I did it fine with my own hands lol)

Now, I know not everyone can draw...

Well never fear! I accept writing as well! ✍️✍️✍️

(hi vivia lol sorry for giving you a cold, at least you have an excuse to read and do nothing now haha x3)

Sickfics are one of the biggest things I live for! Any little drabbles or full fics with more than one chapter are welcome! Again target who you want any fandom you want, but I'll def be super happy if you make a RainCode fic. And even happier if you target my faves as well, but again, anything will do! Just make a cute story about your fave being miserable and being tended to! Trust me, it's super fun!

You can add injury or angst to the scene but I'd like illness to be the main focus of it.

Feel free to post your writing here and tag me or mention my AO3!

If you need a start to your fic, look on my blog for illness prompts! Maybe it can help give you a good start or give some inspiration! (thats why I share 'em :3)

I look forward to anything you try to write!

~

That's about all!! I hope you decide to participate! ✨

Good luck, have fun, and godspeed you future whumpers! 😈

(nah jk XD)

AGAIN THIS IS FOR FUN! NO PRRSSURE IF YOU DON'T WANT TO!

[ardantly]

Zukka Mulan AU

TW transphobia, abuse and sexism

Zuko is a trans boy whose father is a deserter (his bitchfather Ozai who burnt him when he was younger for defending his mother getting abused). His mom, Ursa is frantically trying to get him married off to some guy so that he doesn't get scorned

One day, soldiers come to either take his grandfather Roku as a soldier or copious amounts of money.

Zuko sneaks out of the house in his father's old uniform and when Ursa and Roku learn of this they pray to the house gods who send the spirit of Zuko's dead uncle Iroh who disgraced himself before his son's death by having the same tendencies as Ozai) to awaken the Great Dragon but Iroh fucks up so he follows Zuko alone

Zuko arrives at camp, bonds with the Freedom fighters who are also among the soldiers and gradually proves himself to Sokka, the captain

Sokka slowly has these moments where he stares at Zuko and is like shit he's cute AND smart wtf

Okay and then Iroh is super proud of Zuko and is like my nephew deserves to prove himself and he sends a fake message from Hakoda, telling the batallion to follow them which they do

Sokka and Zuko and the freedom fighters head after them and they find hakodas camp burnt out and massacred, General Hakoda and his boyfriend second in command captured

They get ambushed by the huns and their leader Zhao

And Zuko in the last moment has an idea that's detrimental to his own safety cause it's fucken Zuko and he causes an avalanche that buries most of the huns

Zhao attacks Zuko and wounds his chest

When they heal him, they discover that he's been binding and Sokka has to expel him because of the restrictive laws in place and it fucking hurts him

Zuko won't let that be so he follows the batallion and discovers that Zhao survived, catches up to Sokka and tries to convince him but Sokka is still unsure

Zhao manages to kidnap Emperor Kuei and Zuko and Sokka rescue him together while Iroh finally kills Zhao with a canon

Kuei initially scolds Zuko for deception but then Zuko points out that he really isn't a girl, he's trans and because Kuei saw his bravery, he offers Zuko an advisor role

Zuko accepts but only after being able to return to his family

He takes his family to the capital and starts working with Kuei, dismantling the sexist and queerphobic laws in place so that for example his sister Azula (who went to therapy in the capital) can do whatever she wants

Sokka and Zuko get together and Zuko is introduced to the Gaang, Katara is a feminist master healer, Aang is a diplomat and her husband, Toph and Suki and the Kyoshi Warriors were women's rights activists and they adopt Zuko immediately because he helped them immensely

It all ends up very nicely and really wholesome and Iroh is finally able to rest, having regained his honour alongside Zuko and their goodbye is fucking heartbreaking

But Iroh will always be with Zuko in spirit and he knows he can let his nephew live in peace and security now, surrounded by people who love and support him.

[honestgrins]

Hi I have a propt for u if u want , I just want to read a kc fic where caroline is a badass but mature and she puts hayley in her place and gives klaus shit for sleeping w her but not the whole baby thing she is not pregnant more like a alpha wannabe write it IF u want and like the idea if u dont want is ok thank u , tho its just my first birthday alone and I want sth special its kinda selfish but pls write even sth small ill be grateful thanks.

Petty

Elijah poured himself another cup of tea, politely ignoring the crash of furniture coming from upstairs. “Miss Forbes,” he offered, holding the kettle toward her.

Too busy poring over the textbook open beside her breakfast, Caroline gave a small grin of apology without looking at him. “I’m more of a coffee girl, thanks.” 

Glass shattered somewhere above them. “Perhaps some blood, then? I believe it will be a trying day. Best keep up your strength.”

“I appreciate the concern, but I think I could pass a freshman bio test while hallucinating from a wolf bite. I’ll be fine.”

He arched a brow, barely stifling his amusement. “I meant—”

Sighing, she finally met his intent gaze with exasperation. “I know what you meant, I just don’t have time to indulge his mood swings. Part of the deal of me living here is that I get to maintain a normal college experience, regardless of whatever world domination he has in mind.” Another crash of splintered wood broke her train of though, and she grimaced at the ceiling. “Or when things don’t go to plan. Why do vampires even keep wood in the house? Sure, you guys can’t exactly die as easily, but it seems impractical.”

“Noted,” Elijah said, just as Hayley stomped into the dining room and helped herself to the spread they’d barely touched. As she bit into a scone, he offered her a cup of tea as well with a concerned eye to her visible pregnancy. “I assume the meeting didn’t go well.”

“Your brother is an ass,” she snapped, frustrated. “Apparently, marrying the father of my child is an affront to his ego.”

Caroline groaned, slamming her book shut. “Oh, please. I’m as tired of his power trips as the next person, but we all know you and Jackson getting hitched bolsters your claim to lead the pack. Kind of goes against the agreement to live and let live without declaring a winner to the alpha war you guys are having, don’t you think?”

Hayley rolled her eyes. “Of course, you’d take his side.”

Glaring at the ceiling again, she forced her fangs to stay tucked away. “I’m so tired of this damn town. How’s anyone supposed to study when everyone is bickering over fake hierarchies?” With her enhanced hearing, she caught the offended huff coming from the studio. Letting out a slow breath, she gave her best fake smile to Hayley, then a more aggrieved expression to Elijah. “Please excuse me, I have a hybrid to admonish for petty disruptions.”

When she made it up to his studio, however, she was the one with her back pressed to the door. “A petty disruption, am I?” Klaus asked, his lips a distracting inch from hers as he pushed into her space. “Pray tell, sweetheart, the sins for which I need admonishment.”

With a sharp grin, her hand dug into his hair and tugged, baring his throat to her teeth. “I have a test in two hours and no patience for your tantrums over Hayley.” Her fangs tested the edge of his jaw, and she mused, “Unless it’s not about the pack at all.”

Klaus pulled back at that, brows knit as his eyes couldn’t leave her mouth. “Caroline—”

“You’re not just acting out of jealousy, are you?” she asked, trailing her lips up to his ear. “Did you want to be the one to knock her up, claim their little wolf dynasty for your own?” She shoved him back then, her stare hard as he glared. Worse, he looked a bit scared. A bit of tough love was in order, but she didn’t mean to make him question her. Speaking more gently, she leaned back against the door to show she wasn’t leaving anytime soon. “I get it, it sucks that New Orleans and all the vampires, witches, and wolves won’t fall in line behind you.”

“They’re not even trying,” he complained, running a hand through his mussed hair. “And now, she—”

“Hey.” Putting her hand up, Caroline refused to up with the pity party any longer. “You’re the one who told her about the Crescent pack and its likely connection to her, which you noticed at time she clearly didn’t bother you so much.” They both winced at the reminder of his tryst with the wolf, a past that couldn’t be buried back in Mystic Falls as easily as they’d like. “You break it, you buy it, and all that. Can’t we just...move on with our lives? Maybe have some fun while we’re at it? Without the supernatural warfare, preferably.”

His head tilted to the side, and she saw the predatory glint in his eyes half a second too late. Before she could argue, he lifted her into his arms and had her pressed against the door once more. “Now,” he said, his voice low through his fangs as he brushed his nose along hers, “where’s the fun in that?”

She kissed him with bruising force, tugging his lip with her own fangs. “You have one hour,” she warned, working his shirt out of his jeans. She tore it, though, at his challenging expression. “I mean it, Klaus, or else I will find somewhere else to live. Someplace with fewer distractions.” Her nails dug into his sides to emphasize her point. “My study schedule has been ruined enough.”

“Not quite,” he smirked, “but an hour will have to do.”

“For the time being,” she agreed, laughing when he lifted her back into his arms to carry her toward the lone sofa not destroyed.

[may-as-well-be-a-hobbit]

kind of tired and thinking about how i haven’t seen fics in which Geralt gets reincarnated...

we all appreciate reincarnation fics but since almost all of them have like both of them reincarnated or jaskier exclusively imagine like immortal jaskier or sth (elf jaskier, deity jaskier, sorcerer jaskier idk) losing Geralt and being like.. It Was NOT Supposed To Go Like This and just he'd never thought Geralt would die first because fate couldn't be so cruel as to take Geralt away after shitting on him so much. So Jaskier like goes in mourning and weeks pass, months pass, years pass. He sings of him until it's no longer feasible and Jaskier has to fade back to obscurity and start a new life ( they wouldn't want people to start noticing Jaskier is immortal bc Jaskier is A Bard  ™ and so he has to change personas every few decades) and it feels dishonest somehow to make this new start without Geralt because who is he really? without him by his side?

Things start to change people, places, traditions, Jaskier.

And then One Day he is in a court or something, drinking wine and feeling too old and uncomfortable in his bones and remembers when royal parties used to be fun (and that was because he'd cause trouble and he and Geralt would have to get out of it and sleep out in the open and Geralt would scoff at him and act annoyed and Jaskier would strum his lute and serenade him until the moon was high in the sky and they'd smile at each other over the fire and-) and then he hears rumors of a witcher from the school of the wolf roaming the continent and THAT can't be, because witchers are now a rarity,  especially those of the wolf school.

The last to come across him was from the viper school and that had gone down awfully if Jaskier said so himself , and oh boy they didn't take well to people singing near them , and if Jaskier thought he could replicate that warmth feeling of companionship and love then his last lute (broken and shattered by vile hands like so much dirt and grime) could have said otherwise. And the sight of filavandrel's lute lying in thousand splintered pieces on the ground was like a spell broken taking away with it the last remnant of Geralt's memory from Jaskier's mind.

He hasn't picked up another instrument since then and that was over a century ago, a century since the last witcher Jaskier came across.

And Jaskier hears of this mysterious occurrence , and to keep himself sane (it's been years, so many years without Geralt and he has to keep sane somehow) buys another lute, and it's nothing like the elven masterpiece gifted to him and Oh hasn't he realized yet that nothing will be the same again?  not even his songs and can he even really remember the words to toss a coin anymore? He hasn't had to sing it in so long and so the only thing he sings again of ages past is her sweet kiss.

If he lingers in taverns and inns just to sing that song one more time at the end of the night it's not like he's expecting a cloaked stranger with white hair and yellow eyes to sit and brood in the corner booth opposite him, right?

So Jaskier absolutely does NOT seek out this witcher from the school of the wolf everyone's muttering about. And it hurts when he thinks too much about it because he can only think of white hair wet from bathwater and pale skin under filth and blood, and yellow eyes that are reflective in the night that he used to sing about, and scars and wounds he lived through and then some he didn't.

But Jaskier is immortal and ever wandering and he is bound to bump into him at some point and he does and it's a summer evening like in Posada and there's a flicker of white and gold and Jaskier is about to lose his goddamn mind and he runs to catch up to the familiar figure in the village square and and-

And it's him. It's Geralt. Alive and well and in front of Jaskier.

And like he knows it should be impossible, Jaskier has now lived more than Geralt got to and he knows, He Knows that things like this don't happen.

Do people come back from death? i mean he supposes.  They become vampires and werewolves, or mindless spirits that haunt and are cursed to an unintelligent and endless and miserable existence, and sure after The Incident (Gods he tries so hard not to think of those last moments and his eyes and the blood Gods-) he thought he'd even settle for Geralt's ghost because he thought he couldn't go on without him but..

but that'd be unfair to him , after all if he could find some peace in death, there was no one that deserved it more than Geralt did.

But he wasn't a vampire or a werewolf or a ghost, Jaskier can tell because he has his hands on him and he is solid under his palm and his heart is beating, slowly (like it always did) but it does, and he carries silver and his eyes glow so that can only mean......

Or maybe that is a doppelganger, a shapeshifter, a spell to change the appearance of someone with ill intentions, but if that was the case why doesn't Geralt recognize him??

He just grunts and walks the opposite way, again like that first day in Posada. And Jaskier is losing his mind, and he has to find out what is going on.

So he follows the witcher like he did all those years ago and Geralt begrudgingly lets him like HE did all those years ago.

And like all those years ago Jaskier's heart grows twice its size and Geralt smiles at him sometimes over the fire , but still doesn't remember him.

And so Jaskier is there for every monster fight and contract and occult occurrence so at some point he has gathered enough information  to be able to confirm that, yes, that is Geralt, that's come back from the dead, sort of, because he's been told that's reincarnation..

Huh, so their paths are bound to cross....

And sure it's awful that Geralt cannot remember the first time he laid eyes on the bard, or the words to the melodies dedicated to him, and all these adventures and soft touches and the tenderness and the yearning.

But Jaskier is willing to do it all over again, write new songs for him and go on new adventures and fall in love again and again, more and more every day.

What surprises him more is that every time Geralt comes back to him from the place he cannot follow, his witcher lets him worm his way into his heart and loves him back just as much and just as intensely every time, again and again, more and more every day.

[recordmcqueen]

no. 18, 19, 22 for author ask please

i know this is from months ago but idc im bored in english class :p

also i wrote some new stuff since then so that should help cause theyre fresher in my memory hehe

im gonna assume this is from this one so here goes

18. What is a line/scene you’re really proud of? Give us the DVD commentary for that scene.

Take away one and he had failed destiny, take away the other and destiny had failed him.

this is such a good line i swear i could never come up with sth this powerful but i cant for the life of me remember where it absorbed upon my brain cells from but heck when it came to my mind it just //chefs kiss

in fact this entire fic (shame its unfinished ://) is like. my magnum opus. every second of my writing career was building up to this fic.

I CAN WRITE ANGST NOW IM TOO POWERFUL HAAAH BRACE YERSELF COWARDS

19. Who is the easiest/hardest character for you to write about? Why?

uhh whoever im fixating on at the moment is usually easiest so lately its been kaizo and ramen but in the past its been my then-comfort chars (coughchloenathanielmarccough)

as for most difficult uhhh probably anyone else? i do tend to have difficulty depicting bbb with accuracy lately bc i dont pay as much attention to him when im watching the show (esp when fang is there uhm//cOUGH) sooo yea :p

22. Have you cried while writing a fic?

uhhhhhh i dont physically cry a lot like if i do its bc im legitimately overwhelmed by something usually anger but ill tell u ive had times when i Wanted to cry not from ‘ahhh so angsty’ but ‘goddammit why is werds hard ToT’ so :s

[clumsyclifford]

of course answer how you like best :) honestly it's my pleasure to send you validation i really love your writing a lot and getting to say what i liked best is so nice 💕 so i finished the spiderman au so more validation for you: first of all your writing continues to be amazing i loved it so much, especially since it's about lashton my absolute fav 5sos ship. also again the way you write their conversations is so fucking funny and i love that you keep luke's lip ring alive. (pt 1)

my fav thing was luke just straight up listening to ash talking about him. oh and ash drawing luke's eyes was so precious. the only thing i can think of as critique is the fact that there was no spiderman kiss 😅 oh having a tag is pretty new to me i only recently started writing frequent anon messages (to helen btw which is why i found your blog i love you both a lot) but since we're getting married maybe betrothed or fiancée or sth like that? 🙈 (pt 2)

this symbiotic relationship i dont deserve it you are too sweet goddddd thank you soso much yes lashton is probably my second favorite slash ship after malum i dont know i like that malum has this softness and the soulmate dynamic and all that history but then i feel like lashton has tension which im a slut for so honestly i love them both. and yes as previously mentioned luke’s lip ring will never EVER die thank you for coming to my TED talk !!

cant lie that was also one of MY favorite things like slipping luke’s reactions into the fics and ashton seeing them but not realizing they were luke’s reactions.......easter eggs for the dedicated readers methinks no jk but it was fun to write that way yes fair point dang i dont know why i didnt think to do that except i was rly caught up with the idea of (spoilers?? maybe??) ashton knowing that luke is spiderman maybe ill write another thing with a spiderman kiss we shall see it’s a good idea

bro sending frequent asks is like, my religion alfjkdjgklsdkfj WOW we get our daily helen shoutout well done !!! yes i adore helen so fucking much shes flawless anyway fiancee sounds wonderful i will not type the accent because cba

[crazyfreckledginger]

Donald Pierce x Reader - “Tainted Heart” [Part 2]

When you confront your boyfriend about how secretive he is being, he finally tells you what his actual job is. Understanding that the side of him you fell in love with was only a lie, you ban him from your house but find it more complicated to let him go when you discover something that would change your future completely. Donald reappears a few days later, trying to make amends, will you be able to forgive him?

Requested by 3 anons: “Can I request a Donnie fic where the reader has been dating him for a while and they live together and everything but he doesn’t tell her exactly what he does and she starts to think that he’s cheating on her when he has to go out for meeting and shit, you can the ending angsts or fluffy”

“Hey can I request a really angsts Donald pierce bit, where basically the reader and Donnie get in an argument and it’s a proper screaming match and they don’t talk to each other for s bit, you can end it how you want but I thought it would be a fun idea because I’m really in the mood for some angst”

“Can u write sth with donald pierce and reader where donald comes into their house out of nowhere with logan laura and professor x to help them hide just like the scene from avengers age of ultron? (Reader is pregnant)”

A/N: I COMBINED THREE REQUESTED INTO A TWO PART SERIES, I’M A GENIUS!! Not really

Warning: violence, language, fighting, angst.

Hugging the pillow on her lap, the girl’s eyes stayed on the TV screen. She didn’t know what to do with herself and thankfully, her boss was kind enough to give her a few days off. 

Her mind had wandered, far from the movie, and towards her boyfriend -- well, ex-boyfriend.

A frustrated sigh escaped her lips, this sucks, big time!

Her crying only picked up at how everything was a lie, she couldn’t believe everything their relationship was built on was only fake, the work he did made him a lot of money, she just thought he strived at his job, not that it was so illegal it paid so well.

(Y/N) was dating a monster, a heartless beast that entertained himself with guarding abused children that were to be turned into weapons. 

She didn’t know if it was the crying or watching TV so early in the morning and eating something she wasn’t supposed to but she felt her stomach churn and before she could realise what she was doing, her feet were instinctively racing her towards the bathroom. 

Her hands gripped the toilet seat and she threw up bitterly. After emptying her stomach, she slumped against the wall and sat there for a few moments. 

It started a few days before she confronted her boyfriend, so two days after he left for that horrible job of his. 

Her time of the month was in a while, so she had no way of knowing if it was delayed or not.

The only thought that itched her, the constant vomiting that felt too foreign to be any type of food poisoning, the very active sexual life she had with Pierce. 

It wouldn’t hurt her if she got herself tested right? Only two tests to reduce any errors and boom, all her worries are at bay.

But what if she was pregnant?

****

Her feet trudged to the closest pharmacy, opening the door and scanning the isles. (Y/N) didn’t want to meet anyone she knew at the moment, no body she knew, and especially, not her ex. 

Her hand grasped one that she had seen advertised countless times on media, however, also decided to reach for another brand, just to be sure. 

The woman couldn’t bear to make eye contact with the cashier, fearing that all the raw emotions she was feeling could were worn in her colourful irises. Placing both boxes on the counter and, she waited as he gave her the price. 

It was a quick exchange before her nose buried itself in her coat and her shoes scurried back home. 

****

She paced nervously along the table and stared at the time. 

Only a minute or so now. 

It felt like an entire century before the result started appearing and the only thing she could hear and feel was her too rapid heartbeat.

 She was tested positive, on both.

“Shit!” she slammed it against the counter in anger, why did she have to be pregnant, a week or so earlier she would be more than happy, but knowing the monster he actually was tore her to shreds. 

A knock on her door stopped her from even considering what she would do with the baby. 

Hiding the tests and washing her hands, she announced her arrival before opening the door and freezing in her steps.

Her breath caught in her throat as her eyes landed on the person in front of her. They just stared at each other for a moment before she gulped and murmured.

“What have I told you?” it was a rhetorical question and she wasn’t expecting what he was going to say after -- only expecting him to try and defend himself.

“I know you hate me, but I need you to shelter three people for me,” he whispered, nodding to his car.

The backseat window was very barely open and her eyes could distinguish dark brown eyes awkwardly looking at the both of them. 

Searching, she also vaguely distinguished another silhouette in the front seat behind the tinted windows.

“Everyone is out to kill them, us,” Donald trailed off. 

Her fingertips tapped against the doorframe in thought before she sighed in defeat.

“Not everyone,” her hand push the door to open it wider and her ex nodded to the people in the car and they quickly scurried out.

The woman’s heart leapt out of her chest at the sight of a gruff, tired-looking bearded man, an old man in a wheelchair that looked easily in his late seventies, and finally, a thick-skinned girl. 

Despite how ill the man appeared, his grave voice offered her a disgruntled thank you. The intimidating aura he radiated was soon washed over with the grateful thanks the older man gave her.

When they made dinner and prepared rooms for the guests, only (Y/N) and Donald stood facing each other against the kitchen counter and the kitchen island.

“Talk,” was the only word she said. The girl conveyed it with such cold and venom, but Pierce knew how much he wounded her, and he entirely admitted to his mistake.

“Before we broke up, I was rarely at home because the firm ordered me to search for them. The time we broke up was when we tracked them and we were keeping an eye on them to know when to strike, but after our fight, I found it more difficult to keep at it, the chase, the battles, everything.” He took a deep breath after he realised how low his voice had gotten. 

“The only reason I didn’t quit earlier was because I knew they would hunt for every single person I knew and cherished, to kill everyone.” 

“You were indispensable?” 

“Not necessarily, they would do it to clean up every trace of illegal activity that might have been rumored because of us. I didn’t want to put you in danger,” 

“And now?” 

“Now,” he took in a much needed breath, “I realised that it would have been better to be in love and on the run than breaking your heart and keeping you safe,” the man turned around, slowly, preparing to walk to the couch and expecting her to stay quiet.

(Y/N) gripped his bomber jacket. Pierce stopped in his tracks but didn’t dare turn back.

“I never said I didn’t love you, I’m mad and heartbroken because of you, yes, but I never stopped loving you,” she admitted. 

He turned around, a gleam of hope in his eyes. 

“Don’t give me that look Donnie, I feel like shit, b-but I can’t let you go easily,” she nearly let a sob escape, it was so unfair, everything was happening so quickly and she could barely keep up as things were being thrown at her and new obstacles were being added to her load. 

“Why not?” he whispered. Behind her teary eyes, she managed to meet his gaze without breaking down.

“I’m-” a difficult gulp went down her throat as she placed her palm on her stomach, “I’m pregnant,” silent tears streamed down her cheeks and she let herself engulf in a protective hug from Pierce. His lips kissed her forehead, breathing in her scent that he had missed so much.

“We’ll get through this, together,” he held her hand tightly, but she pulled back, still a little fragile about what his job is.

“N-no, give me time, p-please,” she cried. Donnie frowned, feeling somehow worse about himself as he saw first hand how wounded he left her in.

“As much time as you need,” 

Through rough times, I won’t stop following you for doing the right thing. 

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[flying-elliska]

Hi Ellie! I really don’t want to bother you with these things while you’re on your vacation, but you really seem to have a nice understanding of it and I kind of wanted to read what you think. I’ve read so many things about how creating art can be great for mental health. I’m at a point in my depression in which I can tell I need something like that to pour my thoughts into like painting or writing and the idea excites me, but I don’t have the mental energy to do it. How do you handle this?

Hey dear anon ! Those types of questions never bother me don't worry, even tho I might sometimes take a little time answering but I'm having a bit of a solitary time out today so here goes.

I think this is a very important question ; I don't have a clear cut answer though, this is also something I often struggle with. But here are a few considerations :

- First of all, are you blocking yourself with stuff like perfectionism, super high expectations of yourself/what 'art' should be ? Because that can be a huge drain. I think it's important to offset that by taking a 'playground' approach. Or whatever works. And think that whatever you manage to do, it's always better than the blank page. It's training, and it's a healing process. Don't be afraid to try stuff, stop if you're not into it anymore, and see it all as a beautiful process...and to try to have fun, even if it feels silly at first.

- Another thing : mental illness can often create this void in your brain and life, where you close yourself off and creating only from your inner miasma can be so painful. So I think it's important to know what feeds and recharges you creatively ; what spurs your need to create in an easy, fun way. These are going to be times where you're not actively creating and yet, you're still working on it. For me it's stuff like walking in the woods, finding myself in foreign places, modern art exhibitions, reading fun and fast fantasy YA and social science articles, and simply good music...but I think everyone has their own. Stuff that makes you excited to create, and curious about the world.

- So yeah, also don't be afraid to be a little derivative. Find your role models and copy them a little (not directly and for profit of course lol) - write fanfic or meta, try to imitate a certain style...I find this is a good way to let go of your fears and ego and let yourself be guided by the genius of others. It can be very freeing and fun. And maybe you understand more why they did this or that in that way. And learn a lot about yr own voice.

- Just do the fun parts. Know what they are for you and when you are feeling down, skip to them. I write fanfic abt lawyers without researching much about the legal system lol bc it annoys me. I sketch too without really bothering about clean up. You can be picky or harsh w yourself another day. I didn't come up w this but I think it's also important to let yrself create shitty things and see it as part of the process. And on days where you are really not feeling it consider the easiest possible ways of doing stuff like doodling on a page, making collages, or speaking into yr dictaphone app. It's important to take breaks also of course.

- Another key thing is to start considering creating as part of your mental health routine and self-care. For me I know keeping a diary is essential, otherwise I go all antsy. I've been trying out to write more letters to vent about my emotions and tearing them up too. I know drawing works wonders for a lot of people. You can say this may not be art but actually I really practiced my (self) observation skills, ability to describe emotions, I found interesting metaphors and ideas...but also I think to create you need a sort of...flow of emotions, and familiarity with them. Even the ugly parts. I think creating requires a sort of radical (self) acceptance, so you can truly see yrself and others without wanting to set everything on fire.

- I find it really helps to find other people who are into creating the same type of stuff as you and are creative in general and make them into "accomplices" - I have a friend who is super into making zines so I've been working on one of my own, I found sb to write fic with, a really good beta, someone who loves to go to museums as much as me....that gives me extra energy when I'm lacking.

- Become more observant of real life around you. Watch ppl, listen how they talk. Observe how light falls. The patterns of nature. Try to notice new smells, new sounds, new tastes, little details (this is also a good exercise to deal w anxiety/dissociation tbh). Think about what they imply. Become a sort of poetic detective. Try to find new metaphors. Practice mindful openness, but also sharpen your skills, and decide what place to give what you perceive.

- Also I'm finding the "try to do sth for 10 min" thing is really useful. Sometimes I think I'm tired as in "I don't have the energy" but really I'm tired in a "I have an emotional block and I'm letting it sit on me" way. So having this idea of just starting sth for 10 min, often I find it liberates me and then I want to keep going. And if I really don't feel it I stop but having tried does give me a good feeling.

- Finally I think it's just...fall in love w yr own creative process. Your characters, the story you love, the things you want to depict, the irrepressible need that drives you...your own "symbolic culture". To get a bit woowoo for a minute I really believe that we all have this sort of...unconscious cauldron of creative stuff in our deepest selves, made of memories and experiences and core questions and sensory memory-triggers and fears and hopes and thought patterns and stories. It's always shifting but the more we engage w it and feed it the more rich it becomes. You can do stuff like write down your dreams, think about what your favorite characters have in common, try to do creative meditation, freewrite/doodle, go on "creative dates" w yrself ala Julia Cameron...and whenever it responds I think you'll know. It always gives me this feeling of...groundedness, satisfaction, but also openness to mystery and a powerful urge to create.

Anyway I hope you find your own ways to make. Pls feel free to tell me how it goes, and good luck 🧡💛💖💛🧡💖

[ildivine]

ive been spending time away from the system and felt vaguely bad about it, as ive been so involved in myself and fandom oriented things SINCE i discovered dbh n dove in head-first

but i suppose while its typical, n at times unhealthy, its not hurting me too much to do my own thing again. the gods r keeping me away from alcohol so im craving everything under the sun, n thats natural; but im also in a good situation with friends that will trip drugs w me in a safe environment n such things that i didnt expect to find the experience of so early in my life, n i consider it my own sense of reward for everything ive struggled with over the years; sitting down n writing fics n rps for days on end isnt inherently as bad as it used to be, until it gets in the way of sth else, or when im just sitn here drinking while i write like i was.

also, my friends n fam will still b there, even if i cant connect or wind up being fairly neglectful; after the years ive had to rely on them to literally exist or deal with anything, i think they appreciate the break. particularly the last time i asked dave to wake up with me to help me get sth done the next day, he was a bit peeved, n i dont blame him! my worst depression days were spent w him having anxiety attacks together n weve both grown so much since then, ofc he was annoyed tryn to babysit me when i dont sleep n yet expect to do Thing next day, as is typical of me

but ive learned to situate myself.... into what i am, how i am, n my awkward habits. sure i could lay in bed early for weeks on end n pretend ill get sleep eventually, or i can stay awake n ride it out on mania drive the next day, or i can get my lil 3 hr nap in n go late, or whatever. but the fact of the matter is i need to  get off my ass n do Things whether its in a healthy way or not, n this is sth i need to reiterate to myself, repeatedly. i always thought i was gonna be young n mentally immature forever, but ive felt myself grow n become comfortable over the years, n what Actual Adults Say suddenly makes sense. i m 26, im in the form of a grown ass adult n i gotta act like it; i cant b throwin hands over videogame arguments til i piss someone off enough to hit me, i cant throw tantrums when i dont get the rp that i want right, but i dig so deep into my interests that i settle into there n build myself an emotional fortress by pure mistake of getting TOO invested, n thats the part of me im still discovering how to handle n get over. i dont believe im autistic or adhd or anything like that as a solid diagnoses, but i do know i hold symptoms for all of those things, n part of those symptoms is not wanting my fun box taken away or i Scream, n its terrible. but im also not so (mentally ill) that i cant get over it or learn new ways to cope, with meds or otherwise

i guess while this blog is generally for spiritual stuff i suppose handling myself as a person overall and trying to figure things out even when i thought i had it all figured out is part of personal AND spiritual growth, n when i do get the chance n find the focus, my brother, my friends, my adopted dads will still b there n probably appreciate that they dont have to watch my back for being suicidal or anxious or having to taper me off of my own alcoholism tbh. ive come a long fucking way n honestly i DESERVE the right to sit down n ship myself w any character from anything ever cuz cringe culture & mental illness stopped me from enjoying myself as a kid, a teenager, & a young adult. adulthood is about being a child again tbfh