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kerokerokook · 5 months

Text

the rebound girl: chapter three

pairing: nerd pro-gamer jeongguk x reader

word count: 20.7k

a/n: so sorry for not updating for like almost two months atp. had some personal stuff and with genocide that is happening in gaza, i personally felt like it wasn't appropriate for me to post. please continue to support in any way you can whether that's with uplifting voices, going to protests, boycotting and donating. the smallest action can make a difference.

just a heads up, i won't keep a update schedule which i apologize for but i will do my best to be consistent :)

also i write this authors note, the golden concert finished and we got the enlistment notice for vminkookjoon. it's fine everything is fine they sooner they leave the sooner they come back hahaha :( (i'm crying as we speak)

warnings for this chapter: kissing, lots of ass grabbing, oc is down baaaaad, and so is jk tbh, oral (fem and male receiving), two orgasms for you, 69 position, some very light spanking and praise. jk drinks it like water. some slight dom/sub undertones (jk is a switch but not in this chapter :o)

other tags: a good chunk of angst, slut shaming, spreading of fake rumors, finally oc backstory on the nickname!!, mentions of marijuana, jeongguk asks the girls how to eat cat 8-) and he is once again green flag obvi

fic masterlist

song for chapter: seven by jungkook ft. latto and slut! by taylor swift

enjoy!

-mal <3

You wake up surrounded by warmth. The streams of sunlight coming in from your window thanks to your slightly parted curtains bathe your skin in gold, along with the thick duvet thrown over your body, and the thick arms wrapped around your waist.

For a second, you forget everything that happened last night.

The way you were panicking and how it escalated to kissing, touching, marking; how your lips wrapped around his thick and long length and how Jeongguk’s fingers pushed you past the edge. You can’t believe it. That one of your childhood best friends is lying in bed next to you right now. A man who made you feel so good that you want another taste.

You cringe at your thoughts. You’re really starting to sound like Mrs. Robinson right now.

Turning your body in his grasp, you face Jeongguk who has been hugging you from behind. His cheek is pressed into the soft pillow, puffed up a bit so his lips look extra pouty. His eyes are peacefully shut, body raising with his breath, and his shirt is all ruffled from him moving around so his collarbones are slightly exposed. You can see the marks you left on him, vibrant and pretty against his honey colored skin.

Without thinking, your hand picks up to gently glide over the surface. The skin feels the same but internally, you feel waves of smug, almost masculine, pride at the sight of them. As if you’ve branded the guy to be yours.

Your cup his right cheek, smoothing underneath his eye with your thumb. There’s a little tug with the thin skin, slightly sagging with a lack of sleep, but he looks so beautiful and peaceful like this. Jeongguk has amazing eyebrows; full, dark and perfectly shaped. You run your thumb over thick short hairs before pushing some of the hair messily strewn over his forehead out of the way. Strands silky and smelling of his shampoo.

As another finger goes to trace his earrings like the pieces of a wind chime, Jeongguk stirs. A soft whine barely leaves him before he’s tugging you closer so that your head is tucked into the crook of his neck.

His arms wind around you tightly, squeezing you just a bit and forcing a laugh out of you.

“Hey,” you call, feeling like a boa constrictor has coiled itself around you.

Jeongguk murmurs under his breath. “Five more minutes.”

“But I can’t breathe.”

“Figure it out.”

“Jeongguk,” you giggled, playing with a lock of dark hair that was all fluffy without a brush, tugging slightly to get him further out of sleep. “Cmon, you’re already half awake.”

There’s a fullness in your bladder. You need to pee and fix your hair and brush your teeth and make yourself look presentable before Jeongguk can actually take a good look at you. And breakfast too. You’re hungry.

“Which means I’m also half asleep.”

“Hmm but you’re responding in full sentences.”

“Ugh,” he rolls over and away from you, something you instantly regret. “Okay, fine. I’m awake.”

His hair is a birds nest on top of his head, sticking up all over the place, but a thought crosses your mind of Jeongguk with a perm. A perm and longer hair, framing his face in a shaggy 90s style, and your insides turn to mush.

Anything would probably suit him with a face like that.

And his body is absolute perfection. You get the urge to reach under the covers, under the fabric of his shirt and feel his stomach once more. Like you’re confirming the presence of steel cut abs and wide shoulders and squishable pecs.

“Sleep okay?” You ask him, turning on your side to watch his chest expand and recede with his breathing.

Jeongguk nods, rubbing one of his eyes. “Like a baby. You?” His head turns to face you and he’s got this dreamy, half-awake, smile on his lips that makes you melt.

“Same.”

You want to kiss his cheek and snuggle into the warmth of his chest. Jeongguk was so comfortable to sleep next to you and his body, while taut, is huggable like a giant teddy bear. He didn’t mind you clinging to him at first, slowly turning away when it got too hot or you wanted to change positions. It was honestly some of the best sleep you’ve gotten.

Carefully peeling the covers off, you stretch your arms up to crack all of the tightened areas.

“I’ll put out a disposable toothbrush for you and,” you turn around to find Jeongguk slowly sitting up, looking cute with your patterned sheets underneath him, “then we can talk about breakfast. Are you a savory or sweet kind of guy?”

Jeongguk’s eyes flutter upwards in thought, lips quirking to one side. “Hmmm, I usually have savory but I’ll try sweet.”

“Awesome. Waffles?”

“Hell yeah.”

The rest of your morning is pretty simple after that. Almost as if Jeongguk never slept over. You do your regular routine and leave the bathroom to him. You feed Snowball and give her as much attention and love as she desires. She’s chirpy in the morning and the minute Jeongguk emerges from the bathroom, you’re forgotten news.

She trots over to him, fluffy tail bouncing, and flops onto her side as Jeongguk pets her side and scratches her cheeks and under her neck.

You can’t help but stare at the scene with a warm gooey smile on your face. Jeongguk has always loved animals and seeing him interact with them is such a soft, sweet, beautiful moment.

Going back to the kitchen cabinets, you pull out your waffle maker and make a few with the batch you’ve prepared. Some with chocolate chips sprinkled inside. Knowing Jeongguk, you put out some chopped fruit, bacon, and make some fluffy eggs. You want him to be full and happy when he leaves.

Plus, you like doing stuff like this; cooking for people and making them happy. It’s fun.

Jeongguk strolls into the room, humming a song under his breath and pausing when he sees the spread you’ve put out for the two of you. Looking like a continental buffet at a hotel. Your head turns and you smile as he stares down at the steaming plates.

“Wait…I should’ve helped you. I’m sorry,” he pouts, twisting his fingers at the base of his stomach.

The stove is turned off when you walk closer to him. Droplets of water cascade down his neck and you can see the bright wine colored hickeys you left on him last night on his honey skin. The sight is delectable. You want to mark him again, mark him even more, but also don’t want to get too hasty with how much you touch him. It was a one-off after all.

You wave it off. “Let me do this for you,” chiding, you push him to take his plate over to the coffee table/desk thing you’ve got then grab yours. “Now let’s. Do you want coffee later?”

He shakes his head, hair swishing with his movements. “Trying to cut back on that. It’s worsening my anxiety.”

You pause. “I didn’t know you had anxiety.” The air sizzles in silence, the only noise cutting through being the sound of your plate hitting the surface of your table. Snowball chomps on the pellets of her food. Your backs collide with the edge of your bed, shoulders brushing, knees inches apart with your legs crossed over each other, and all you can smell is Jeongguk.

His cheeks get pinker, pursing his lips while starting on his food. “Yeah. I was diagnosed in high school. Working out helped a lot with it and same with gaming and sketching but the more I drink coffee, the more anxious I get.”

“Oh… I’m sorry.” You wilt next to him.

You know how bad it can get. You’ve seen your friends struggle with it, having attacks before a large test or getting fidgety in public spaces. It’s terrible.

“S’ok. I’m doing a lot better than before.” You watch out of the corner of your eye as Jeongguk eats. He’s nonchalant about it which calms you. “Taehyung tried to get me into smoking weed with him but I feel like that would worsen it.”

Snickering, you start eating too. The image of a relaxed Taehyung and a paranoid Jeongguk, when it’s usually the complete opposite, is sort of hilarious.

“Yeah,” you laugh. “Weed is either amazing for people with anxiety or it will literally give you a panic attack. Especially if you smoke too much.” Thinking back to your first year of college, when you decided to go crazy by smoking a joint and from a pipe and then from a bong, while in the middle of a forest on a camping trip.

Safe to say, you thought someone was going to come out of the bushes and beat your ass for smoking underage. Jeongyeon had to take you back to the dorms and help you calm down. It was bad.

But it was a learning lesson and you know to pace yourself with weed now. Unlike your friends, you don’t do it as often. It’s great when you’re plastered though or if you want to really enjoy a meal.

Jeongguk laughs with you. Then his eyes focus on something and you stop halfway when bringing the fork of food to your mouth. Raising an eyebrow in question, he just reaches over to tuck your hair out of face and behind your ear.

“You can say no but,” he exhales, fixating on the way your lips pout just a bit as you chew, “I really want to kiss you right now. Can I?”

Then your stomach flips.

He’s such a good guy, you think. You aren’t used to being around good guys.

Probably because deep down you think you’ll ruin them or you don’t deserve them but hey, you’re no therapist.

Jeongguk is too good. He’s too sweet and you just know that whatever brew of emotions that is bubbling up in you screams trouble but you simply can’t hold yourself back. Not when he looks this cute and soft and pretty in your room, asking politely to do your hair for you, eating the food you made him after a night of passion.

Swallowing whatever was in your mouth, you drop your fork on the plate and get up on your knees. Jeongguk’s reaction is comical. His eyes widen like he’s going to get yelled at, hands jumping to his sides but that is far from the truth.

Instead, you settle on his lap, wrists crossed behind his neck to toy with the back of his soft hair.

“Wh–did I–” he doesn’t even get to finish. You kiss Jeongguk briefly on the nose.

His eyes blink largely at you, bouncing down to your lips in a silent plea, and who are you to say no to someone like Jeongguk who asked so kindly? Leaning back down, gently connecting your lips with his in a soft slow kiss. He meets your movements, smooth lips kissing you back wetly while his hands move to your hips.

You don’t mean to get lost in the kiss but it’s quite hard. Jeongguk is really good at kissing and his body's so warm against yours. Pressing closer, you try to lick into his mouth to deepen the kiss but Jeongguk’s hands slip down and grip your ass harshly.

Gasping, you pull away. An unexpected action from him since he was so careful and gentle with you last night but you liked it.

The sheer thought of him getting rougher with you has you wet.

You decide to finally answer his question. “You can do whatever you want with me.”

“Whatever I want?” He teases back.

“Mhmm.”

Jeongguk pushes some hair out of your eyes. “Giving me all of that power is a bit dangerous, you know?” And even though he’s joking and you know that, you take it literally, wanting him to know this before he leaves.

Because it’s the wholehearted truth.

“I trust you, though. I trust you a lot.”

Jeongguk isn’t going to treat you like most of the men in your life. He won’t discard you for someone better, stringing you along with kind words just to get you to do what they want, and leave you broken hearted. He simply isn’t that kind of guy. He’s sweet and patient and attentive. The kind of guy you should be going after.

Sadly it’s taken you this long to realize it and this much hurt for you to change but it’s a start.

His eyes glimmer at you from your spot. You almost don’t want to get up because of how breathtaking his eyes look reflecting the stars hidden by the light.

“I know you won’t hurt me,” you continue, enamored. “So do what you want and if I don’t like it, I’ll tell you, okay?” Cupping his round, soft cheeks in your hands, you wait for nod. A slow, sure, steady one to cement this declaration right then and there.

Just as you lean down for another searing kiss, your phone starts blaring from your bed. The alarm you forgot to switch off. Fuck.

With a groan, you press the off button and your normal phone lock screen shows a notification from your mother. Still on Jeongguk’s lap, you press on it to read her text.

mom

stopping by in thirty

wanted to drop off some kimchi before i go back home

Fuck, you forgot. Your mom had an offsite trip for work in Incheon and before going back to your apartment, she wanted to give you some food for the weekend since your apartment was in between.

There’s no way she’ll let it slide that Jeongguk slept the night and your mom is no idiot. With all of the hickeys on his neck and the awkward we-wanna-fuck tension that is ever building between you two after last night’s taste, you’ll be getting grilled till you’re on your deathbed.

Quickly, you send her a thumbs up and toss your phone onto your bed, then look down at Jeongguk’s confused, cute face. “My mom is coming over in thirty minutes. Do you think we can finish by then?”

“F-finish what?”

You’re confused for a whole second until you remember you’re on his lap and you were just making out with him. A soft giggle leaves your lips before you press another kiss to his nose and a quick kiss to his pouty lips.

“Finish eating.” Finger trailing along the soft cut of Jeongguk’s jawline, flicking the hanging hoops in his ears. “Sorry baby, we’ll have to reschedule the other thing.”

The pet name flies out once more but you’re less upset about it. Jeongguk doesn’t seem to mind. In fact, his reddened ears tell you quite the opposite.

You try to get up once more but Jeongguk’s arms wind tightly around you. With a soft thud, your ass hits his lap again. He isn’t hard and his sweatpants are thicker than you remember it to be so you don’t feel anything. But the action still surprises you.

“You can still stay here and eat with me.” He demands petulantly. Big eyes, the roundest nose, cutest cheeks, and all of those moles scattered across his face like stars in the sky.

And how can you say no?

Breakfast is finished with you perched on his lap delicately, back against Jeongguk’s chest, while watching some random children’s cartoons that happened to be playing this early. It’s comfortable, almost intimate to be eating this close to each other and not have it be sexual. You had fully expected things to get raunchy today, especially when you were kissing, and usually when you stay over with a hookup, morning sex is promised.

Considering the extraneous variables, that can’t happen today, so you imagined Jeongguk would drop the closeness and go back to being platonic to you. Having him do the opposite is surprising.

You really like it.

Jeongguk’s chest is warm, broad, firm with muscle, and he smells like a mixture of his own scent and your skincare products. His arms fit snugly around you, like you can melt into his touch without another thought. You love the way he feels. So much so that tearing apart to let him leave is borderline painful.

Snowball has it especially rough. She rubs her head against Jeongguk’s calf, purring and trilling fyr him to stay and pet her when he’s posted by the door.

“I’ll be back soon. Don’t worry,” Jeongguk coos, tugging at her cheeks and smoothing over the area.

You want to cry at the visual.

The walk down is silent. Your keys jingle in your hands, shoes tapping on the linoleum floor, and Jeongguk doesn’t say much until the elevator takes the two of you to the lobby and outside your apartment building. It’s a slightly overcast day out. The sun peeks through the clouds and happens to land right on Jeongguk, illuminating him like an angel.

“So uh… I’ll see you on Monday, yeah?”

You nod slowly. “See you.”

Fuck it, you think, stepping off the platform leading into the lobby and wrapping Jeongguk in a quick hug. Arms around his neck, hugging him close to your body and giving him a firm squeeze.

Jeongguk returns it quickly, like a reflex. It’s soft, warm, and just what you needed before letting him go.

Just before your arms slip, you kiss the mole on his neck once, and slowly push off. You really don’t want to. You feel so safe whenever he touches you and smiles at you but you really don’t have any other choice.

“Bye noona.”

“Bye.”

Jeongguk’s departure is quick, waving bye as he crosses the street to get to the subway station further down the block. But you still feel the lingering ghost of his lips and touch on your skin. Almost like you’re savoring it for one more second.

And you’re so caught up that you don’t even notice the camera aimed at you that’s been snapping pictures for the past ten minutes.

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

The day had been weird the moment your foot stepped onto campus.

Being the esteemed rebound girl meant that people looked at you. Mostly men but you still got glances, sexual ones or judgy ones or interested ones. Not that you’re bragging, you never warranted them in the first place as they always come with negative intentions, but the glances you were getting today felt different. People were whispering, more than usual, and it was starting to bother you.

The first thing you did was check to see if you were wearing pants. Which you were so we can count accidental nudity off the list.

Then you rushed to the bathroom to check if you accidentally sat on a chocolate bar or bled through your jeans or your bra is showing through your shirt or there’s a line of toilet paper stuck to your shoe.

It has to be a physical issue. Otherwise people would be reacting like this, right?

But you didn’t find anything on you. Not even a smudge of mascara.

It’s weird because you’re dressed rather simply. A black hoodie with some light wash jeans since you were in the middle of your period and didn’t want to deal with putting in effort today. What the fuck is everyone’s problem then?

Looking down, you walk as fast as you can from class to class, barely talking to anyone besides your friends and only if absolutely necessary. In between classes you have your earbuds in and you avoid any eye contact. Even during discussions, you sit in the back and draw in the margins, not even bothering to listen and contemplating leaving early. A group of girls that you recognize to be from Juri’s group are being especially nasty, giggling whenever you look in their general vicinity.

This is starting to get really annoying.

With a half a mind to ask them what’s so fucking funny, discussion ends early and you have a lunch date with the rest of your friends so you bolt out of there, slamming your lunch tray down on the table with much confusion from your two friends. You explain it to them while eating in hopes that they can crack the code too.

“Maybe they think you’re pretty,” Nayeon tries.

“I didn’t even put foundation on. I highly doubt they think I’m pretty,” you mumble the last bit, crossing your arms over the table and resting your forehead on them. “They’re laughing at me.”

Like a fly buzzing by your ear, their giggles irritate you beyond comprehension.

Embarrassing. That’s the best way to describe the surface of how you feel. Embarrassed and paranoid and scared because of how everyone seems to be in on a joke except for you.

For a second, you go back to the insecure teenager in high school who just wanted someone around. Who wanted love and affection and popularity because who fucking doesn’t at that age? Only for all of those popular cool kids to be making fun of you, laughing at your expense, and reminding you of everything you were insecure about. This feels just like that.

“Do you think Wooshik did something?”

You look up, scanning the cafeteria for a mop of black hair and he’s chilling with his new girl who he’s been absolutely obsessed with judging by his expression. He looks like he’s having the time of his life ever since you two ended your little spat.

Wooshik is petty but only when he’s been slighted. If he’s happy then he’s pretty harmless. So there’s no way it’s him.

“Nah. There has to be something else.” You start picking at the skin on the side of your thumb, where it’s gotten a bit dry thanks to the change in weather.

The cafeteria is loud today, more people opting to stay inside rather than walk around for a restaurant to eat at since it’s bound to start raining any time soon. It feels like millions of people crowd in every pocket of space available yet your brain fixates on the eyes trained on you. Like they are all pointing, laughing, guffawing at whatever joke they are making at your expense. You start to sweat, feeling cornered in your spot.

You should be used to this being the college’s rebound girl but everyone’s disdain for you has never been so apparent. People stuck to their occasional disapproving looks and maybe, there was a low comment when news of you hooking up with another person circled the campus but it’s never been this bad before.

All of the worst possible outcomes form inside your head. Did someone sneak into your house and take nude photos of you? Maybe someone from your high school came and told some bullshit story?

What else could the reason be?

“Hey guys.” Jeongguk smiles, setting down a cup of instant noodles and pulling you out of your spiral. “Taehyung and Jimin are in the bathroom but they’ll be here soon.” Gently, he plops next to you and the scent of him is enough to calm you down.

Familiar, sweet and soft as always.

And he looks great in a navy blue Nike hoodie and black jeans, oversized as always, but you’re one of the few people that knows what he looks like underneath all of those clothes.

So much honey toned skin; a chiseled stomach and chest; defined arms and legs; gorgeous, truly gorgeous.

Jeongyeon furrows her eyebrows at him. “Why aren’t you eating the cafeteria food?” She asks with concern.

“Ah, I'm not super hungry. I had a big breakfast,” Jeongguk waves off, showing the ⅔ full cup of ramen he had. “I’m probably gonna go home early too since I have a League of Legends match with my team soon.”

You nod in response, half-listening. Jeongguk had explained his gaming league thing to you a few days ago. He used to be on a team for fun but he’s currently trying to join a semi-professional one for fun since he isn’t in any clubs or organizations on campus. Not that Jeongguk is particularly interested in those but, these gaming leagues have been calling out to him for a while.

Anyways, this game is supposed to serve as kind of an audition and if he does well enough, he’s in. You silently hope for his success.

Then there’s a gentle nudge at your side. “How’d you do on the physics quiz?” Jeongguk asks, taking some steaming noodles to his mouth with a pair of perfectly split chopsticks.

“100%.” You beamed. It was a shock to you when you saw the score online but mostly relieving.

“Yay, that’s great.” Jeongguk held out a palm for a high-five which you reciprocated, wishing you could just kiss him. The way he smiles so brightly was enough to get you to forget about all of the eyes on you, almost increasing when you started interacting with him. “Knew you could do it.”

“Well I’d have to thank my tutor.”

His eyes roll. “Sure but I barely did anything. You knew most of it already.”

Nayeon and Jeongyeon laugh at the face you make, then prompt Jeongguk to try to get him to start tutoring them. When he asks what subject, they just say all of them, which makes him cutely blush for some reason. He’s a deadly mix of cute, adorable, sweet, hot and sexy and you cannot handle when each of those characteristics hit you in one go.

You almost start to tease him about it when a set of two drop harshly onto the table’s bench with an air of annoyance around them. Suddenly, all of the bright happiness floats away.

“Jeongguk, have you been lying to me?” Taehyung asks point blank with a hurt expression on his face. Jeongguk’s smile begins to fade.

“About what? You know I was just joking when I said your orange hair looked funny–”

The brunette’s frown deepens. “Not about that. I mean about the girl who supposedly dumped you? And who the fuck is RG anyways?” Taehyung asks with a shake of his head, coffee colored tufts swishing in the wind.

RG?

“What?” Jeongguk’s chin pulls back.Your panic is instant. “What are you talking about?”

Jimin cuts in with an annoyed groan. “Some guy in the bathroom was telling us about a rumor going around that this older girl dumped you and now you’re sleeping with someone else to get back at her.” Your stomach drops. No, this can’t be happening. “Apparently it was posted on some forum called–”

“GossipLeaks,” Jeongyeon supplies. The younger three look at her in confusion while Nayeon cringes. “It's this depraved site where losers with no social skills sit and refresh the page for drama from every department to fill the void inside of them instead of getting a job. Usually a person will upload a picture or start a thread and people will exchange gossip, start gossip, discuss gossip or talk shit until their fingers start bleeding. It’s hell on earth.”

You hate that fucking site so much. It played a huge role in creating your reputation after all.

Almost every single person on campus is there. Nayeon went slightly viral when she dumped her situationship for Jeongyeon by throwing a smoothie over his head after he said something rude to her. Someone threatened to leak their ex’s nudes to the website because they were cheated on. Incels crowd on so they can hate on women while others live for the gossip, scrolling relentlessly to point and laugh even though their lives aren’t anything to be proud of.

It has yet to be taken down since nothing bad is actually exchanged besides harsh words but the site is barely moderated. Not as much as it should be.

Anyone who crosses a line has the potential to be sued but since most college students are broke, the possibility is rare. Sounds amazing, right?

Now poor Jeongguk is at the receiving end. You can’t believe someone is lying about sleeping with him and about him rebounding with someone else. Jeongguk hasn’t even had sex before and (as far as you know) you’re the only person who has touched him. Who could do something like this?

“Show me the post,” he asks, resting his elbows on the table’s surface.

Jimin searches it up on his phone and then places the device down, scrolling through the threads with a small pointer finger and clicking on one, then turning it towards you two.

The pictures take a second to load but reading the post header was enough to make your mouth run dry.

RG’s newest conquest: some loser 2nd year that was brutally dumped by Social Sciences student representative Kim Juri over the summer.

Oh great, Juri spread the rumor. Now you have the perfect reason to manifest her getting shit on by a bird.

“Wh–” you can’t even finish your sentence. The pictures load and it’s even worse than you imagined.

First is the two of you standing outside of your apartment building. There’s a breath of distance between your bodies and you’re laughing at something he said. His face crinkles as well, the dimples on his cheeks pop out. It looks friendly but it can easily be misconstrued.

And the second one is of the two of you hugging, squished together like you’re trying to become one whole person, and that seals the deal.

Your heart drops to the heels of your feet. You’re RG. Of course you’re fucking RG. Rebound Girl = RG. It’s practically part of your identity.

Suddenly, everything is making sense. The people laughing, staring at you; it’s another scandal all over again only this time, you roped in someone you actually cared about instead of someone broken hearted you decided to sleep with a few times. Now his name is soured by the stench of your bad decisions.

You want to cry. You didn’t–you couldn’t drag Jeongguk or anyone else for the matter into your mess.

It was always your problem to handle on your own. It was always your cross to bear. The guys you fucked never mattered once it was all said and done. Most of the time, they got street cred or they were praised while you were the dirty slut so it wasn’t like you could feel bad for them. They were always painted as the winners. But you’re terrified of what this could do for Jeongguk.

Would he get harassed? Made fun of for giving in easily? Would he lose his chances of finding someone he actually likes this year?

Would he want nothing to do with you afterwards?

You begin to panic, spiraling deep into the depths of your self-hating brain. How could you miss someone snapping a picture of you two in broad daylight? You should’ve done better.

This is the worst possible thing you could imagine coming out of hanging with Jeongguk is that he would become privy to the mess that is your social life. A small part of your brain even considered this, especially after Jeongguk rejected Juri but you let it go and now you’re pissed because you should’ve been smarter.

You should’ve pushed him away, studied on your own that night. No, you should’ve been more careful.

You should’ve never thought you could openly hang out with him and not suffer the consequences. What were you thinking?

Once everyone has read the post, Jimin takes his phone back and continues scrolling through. No one says anything for a moment, then:

“Guys, don’t believe a word that comes out of Kim Juri’s lying mouth. She hates us,” Nayeon motions to you, her and Jeongyeon, “and she’ll do anything to make other people follow suit. Trust me.” She stresses, even abandoning her meal to reiterate. Jeongyeon nods animatedly. But the problem is much deeper than that.

You wanted to be friends but she never entertained the idea after you got labeled as the rebound girl. Constantly tormenting you, throwing your promiscuity in your face, and denying your efforts to reconcile.

At some point, you grew some humility and dropped the idea of you and Juri ever getting along. You’re a girl's girl but you also don’t hate yourself to desperately pine over some mean girl’s approval.

So, now things have turned out like this.

This is so annoyingly unfair. It's tiring living like this, pretending like you aren’t bothered and that taking the high ground will benefit you. All you do is let Juri get away because you know deep down that fighting back has no point.

“What a loser,” Jimin curses, turning to you with that apologetic look on his soft features.

Taehyung does the same. “Yeah, she must have a lot of free time on her hands if this is all she does.”

You return their kind words with a weak but meaningful smile. It doesn’t make the storm brewing up inside of you go away. It just makes things worse. Because yes, Juri is a loser but she’s only a loser in your eyes. Everyone else sees her as the complete opposite. People will always be on her side. She’s done great PR to make you look like a dick-thirsty, back-stabbing bitch. There’s no way anyone would support you.

At the least, you’d have your two friends but Jeongguk and Jimin and Taehyung don’t need to be dragged into this war with Juri. Let them have fun, mess around, and be normal college kids while you take the heat. It’s always been that way after all.

Jeongyeon snorts. “She’ll get some karma in return for all of this. I can just feel it.”

There’s a slight lull in the conversation. You feel like the boys are doing their best to hold back from asking the question, the one that you really don’t want them to, while your friends are doing their best to maintain the light composure that was just there.

It’s coming. That question. You know it is.

Those words were blatantly on the screen and they aren’t idiots. They’re probably connecting the dots as you sit here and panic about it and you simply cannot handle those words coming from their mouths. Especially Jeongguk’s.

Considering you watched him grow up, he’s the last person you’d want to know about being the rebound girl.

Jeongguk’s mouth opens. You can practically see the cogs and wheels in his brain turn and that’s it for you.

Immediately, you get up from your spot. They all look at you, concerned and confused. There’s a heavy layer of pity that now disgusts you too much for you to stay.

“I should go,” you mumble, grabbing your things as quickly as possible.

All of their faces morph into shock. “What?” The three boys say at the same time.

“Babe, no, it’s fine.” Jeongyeon tries but you’ve already finished your food and your phone and bag are slung over your shoulder.

A single touch grazes the back of your hand. “Noona, you don’t have to–”

You shake your head and dip your eyes down, refusing to be reasonable.

“I’ll talk to you guys later. Bye.”

This is for the best.

Put some distance between you and Jeongguk, let the rumor die down a little, and then maybe you can hang out with him in private. Obviously no more kissing or hooking up so you’ll have to force whatever is growing inside of you to die off but you can do that. Yeah, no problem.

Then Jeongguk can find a girl he really likes and be with her without the implications of whatever went on between the two of you looming over his head and ruining his chances.

You turn and exit the cafeteria before anyone can stop you, taking long strides and putting a surgical mask over your face to block out your features. You even draw your hood up and shove earbuds in so you wouldn’t have to hear anymore whispers.

Although the effort is futile; all your brain does is repeat the same words over and over again.

Slut.

Whore.

Rebound girl.

They’re starting to become synonymous with your name. Maybe you should stop pretending like you’re anything different and just accept the name for what it is. Maybe Junho was right after all. Seojoon too.

Maybe you’re good for nothing else but a fun romp every once in a while. A tight hole and a soft wet mouth, pliant for any man who gives you attention because you’re so desperate for it, desperate for love.

You always thought that you were hardwired wrong by always believing men when they tell you that they’re broken and beg for you to lick their wounds. That you simply just never learn from your mistakes no matter how intense they get because of that idiotic faulty screw in your skull that wants you to give this guy the benefit of the doubt.

But maybe, you’re simply an awful person.

Maybe you don’t actually care about the guys. You just have some shitty savior complex turned into a hunger for hurting men. Maybe you’re an awful person who deserves this.

Before you can stop it, tears stream down your cheeks, rolling down your neck and underneath your hoodie as you walk as fast as you can towards the subway station. That tightness in your chest worsening as the very last bits of strength you were holding onto crumble into nothing.

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

The hangout was extremely impromptu.

Jeongguk hadn’t seen you for the rest of the week and he was starting to get worried. You had responded to his texts in short, curt words, saying you were sick and that your professors were emailing you PDFs of classwork so there was no need to pick up anything. When he offered to bring some soup, you declined once more saying your mom was already bringing some and since then, he hasn’t found another excuse to come see you.

It hurt. It hurt watching you get hurt, it hurt watching you hold back tears as you ran off to hide your hurt and it fucking hurts watching you pretend like everything is okay when it’s not.

Jeongguk doesn’t care about the rumor. So what if people were staring and he got teased every now and then? It’s not true so it didn’t matter.

But he realized, seeing your reaction, that the two of you were getting treated differently.

While everyone was praising him for getting laid by “rebound girl,” and other girls began debating his potential in bed, you were getting vilified beyond anything. He heard girls in his class degrade you, calling you a slut, a whore, saying that you’d sleep with anyone if it gave you enough attention. Jeongguk would glare in their direction, scaring them off, but the whispers still swirled around him.

After that, he wanted that stupid website to be filled with malware and be destroyed. Hell, he’d do it himself if that wasn’t a cybercrime. This whole thing has been blown way out of proportion.

And, holy shit, the things men have been saying to him…

It’s honestly disgusting.

Ayyy, get it Jeon!

Knew you were a fucking stallion behind that nerdy look you got goin on.

Did she suck you off? I heard she’s really good with her mouth.

Someone came up to him and expressed regret that Jeongguk was the first and only second year to get with rebound girl, claiming he wanted to be the first but because you’re so picky, he couldn’t. Jeongguk had almost punched him but Taehyung held him back, reminding him that he could lose his scholarship too if he stooped too low.

He hates this and he hates that you have to go through something like this.

For the past few days, all Jeongguk could think about was how strong you were. He doesn’t know how you got this nickname, why it’s such a big deal to everyone around you, but he wished it never happened. Thanks to this rumor, you had to grow a thick skin so that you could simply be you and not have to worry about other people but unfortunately, misogyny is rampant. It made you become strong, become resilient, and he wishes that it wasn’t because of that.

Jeongguk thought up some kind of plan to get Juri to take the post down or to publicly clear the air but he also didn’t want to play the white knight, trampling all over a situation that barely involved him. Stepping on your toes by trying to solve this could only hurt you further.

So all he could do was wait.

Wait for you to text back, wait for you to reappear.

Jeongguk grows antsy and he tries to distract himself from worrying. School isn’t helping one bit so he plays games and goes to the gym as much as he can. And when that doesn’t work well–

Thankfully, his friends are an interesting bunch which brings him back to the reason why this whole hang out started.

Nayeon and Jeongyeon were walking over with Jimin while Taehyung was hounding Jeongguk at the campus entrance over something he absolutely hates doing: buying weed.

“C’mon, he’s literally giving it to you for free!” Taehyung whined, showing the text on Jeongguk’s phone to him like he hasn’t already read it, eyes rolling at his friends’ desperation.

Let’s get one thing clear: Jeongguk has no problem with weed. He almost had an edible once by complete accident but he spit the rest out the minute his cousin told him that the gummy was laced with contraband so the effect didn’t do much for him. Being friends with these two dipshits means that the smell constantly follows him and he’s used to dealing with their giggly asses every now and then. Taehyung has a bong hidden in his apartment while Jimin aptly had a bright pink pipe patterned with cats all over it but he dropped it and loudly sobbed when the thing cracked in half.

He isn’t a goody-two shoes but, speaking candidly, he’s never really felt the need to do it.

It’s the same with alcohol. Jeongguk doesn’t get the urge to sit down with a beer and crack one open after a long day nor does he ever want to get shitfaced for fun. He needs to have complete control over himself and everything he does and everything he says because he gets the feeling that he’d be the type to tell someone his PIN number when inebriated or irritate everyone with his antics which is probably related to his anxiety but whatever. So nothing about the practice is relaxing to him. Getting drunk or high can actually make Jeongguk really fucking nervous but his peers disagree.

Especially Taehyung who is a staunch believer that smoking weed is the best way to calm down and that food tastes better when high. Jeongguk is a bit curious about that last bit.

But back to the begging. To make a long fucking story short: Jeongguk knows a dealer.

Not voluntarily. A seedy 3rd year who he also tutored over the summer made sure to let Jeongguk know that he would give him some free shit he wanted as payback for all of the help passing Chemistry. Never did he think he’d take the guy up on his offer until now.

Taehyung filled everyone in on the backstory and now Jeongguk has four people begging him like dogs wanting a treat. He pinches the bridge of his nose, sighing in irritation.

“What if I get caught?” He asked; the most important question.

Jimin countered back. “You won’t. He’s literally going to hand you a regular-ass bag and no one will suspect a thing. We can take it from you as soon as you get back here and smoke some today,” he offered, met with cheers of approval.

Jeongguk’s chest twists. He wishes you were here to help. You were still nowhere to be found and he misses you so much. You’d probably laugh that cute laugh of yours, egg Jeongguk on with the rest of them but have concern in your pretty eyes to let him know that this wasn’t peer pressure. That he could say no and it wouldn’t be a bad thing.

Unfortunately, he has to face this alone.

Jeongguk gives the two girls a surprised look. “Did you two already finish your tin of edibles?”

“Nah, we’re gonna save that for midterms so we can get zonked and watch Shark Tale while eating fried chicken.” Jeongyeon answers, tugging Nayeon close.

“Awww,” Taehyung pouted. “Can we do that?” Turning to his boyfriend and gently gripping the sleeve of his shirt.

Jimin winked at the younger. “Whatever you want baby,” then turned to the other, “but only if Einstein over here can grow some balls and say yes.” Taehyung directs his puckered lips towards him, batting his eyelashes like a cartoon character.

Jeongguk is a weak man. He can be a people pleaser but only to those who he loves. His sisters, you and his two best friends fall into that category.

Because one pout from Taehyung and he folds, like the weak man he is.

“Fuck, fine. I’ll ask,” he unlocks his phone and texts the dude. “But only once! Just go to your trusted guy after this, okay?”

Taehyung and Jimin salute him. “Yes sir!”

Jeongguk texts the guy to hand it over to him after his last class after lunch, who was more than happy to supply the guy who helped him pass his summer classes. In fact, he looked proud, jabbing Jeongguk with his pointy elbow and saying that he’s finally pulling that stick out of his ass. Whatever, Jeongguk is not that uptight. He can have fun in lots of other ways!

But Jimin was right. The smell is barely there and the bag itself looks inconspicuous. His curiosity took over him to peek inside while walking with the others. There was a silver tin, a bag of powdered weed, a pack of peach ring edibles and two brownies.

“Fuck, this is so much,” Jeongyeon marvels at the bag as they reach the outside of ana apartment building, pulling out the silver tin and gasping when it opens up to a set of rolled joints. “Oh my, he gave you pre-rolled joints! We’re hitting these right now.”

Which is how Jeongguk found himself in Nayeon's studio apartment. Sitting around a coffee table with the spiked food and her TV playing Sailor Moon. He did his best to not think about how her room looked a lot like yours with all of the cute stuffed animals and posters and how her little pomeranian dog yapped happily whenever he gave it attention. The bed that he’s leaning against reminds him of the same bed where the two of you laid while your lips and hands and tongue made him feel things he’s never felt before.

Jeongguk can’t stop thinking about you. It takes all of his restraint not to shoot you a text, not to associate everything he sees with memories of you and that night in particular.

But he should stop so he idiotically doesn’t pop a boner with everyone else around. Thinking of you usually does that for him.

So he focuses on the clouds of smoke blown right in front of his face as Nayeon starts on the joint. She coughs just a bit, then passes it to Jeongyeon who takes two indulgent puffs and then passes it to Taehyung and then Jimin. Their eyes glaze over, tension from the long school day disappearing as the drugs take their effect.

“You wanna try it?” Jimin asks, holding the flamed stick towards Jeongguk. He stares down at it, then up at his friends’ reddened eyes.

Does he?

Everyone else seems so relaxed and Jeongguk could use some relaxation. Besides, it won’t kill him to take one hit. He’s surrounded by seasoned potheads so they’ll know what to do. It’ll be fine. Everything is fine. Maybe he’ll stop fretting over you and relax. Clear his brain for once.

Carefully, he places the tip between his lips and Taehyung explains the process. Inhale, hold it for a bit, exhale slowly. It’s supposed to burn at first and then it’ll get better. He coughs like a motherfucker and his throat might as well be on fire. But he drinks some water, tries again, and it’s a lot easier.

Weed has a particular taste that Jeongguk doesn’t mind. The smoke is somewhat bitter on his tongue and then earthy. He feels nothing then, five minutes later, he gets this lightness in his chest and head. Or a fuzziness is more like it. He’s almost sleepy and really hungry. Jeongguk begins devouring a packet of chocolate covered pretzels and then scarfing down two slices of pizza right after eating lunch only two hours ago. Those two things have never tasted so good before.

Jeongguk also finds that weed makes him giggly. Like really giggly.

He spent two minutes laughing at the way his toes looked with his toe socks on. Then about how long Taehyung’s fingers are in comparison to Jimin’s, then about the word duty (hilarious) to the point of tears springing from his eyes. Then Jeongyeon wanted to paint his nails which Jeongguk was all for and he chose a metallic midnight blue which she skilfully painted before starting on the others. Taehyung got maroon and Jimin got lilac.

Afterwards, the conversation lulled and their stomachs were full. Most of them were on the brink of falling asleep until Jimin proposed they all play a game.

It was basically the game Hot Takes but without any cards with prompts and dividing up into teams. Basically each person had to share a “hot take,” or an opinion/commentary that’s uncommon or meant to start a debate.

Which is a great game to play when the entire gang is not sober.

Taehyung started off with a simple one: people who don’t like pineapple on pizza are immature babies. This sparked quite the argument to the point where Jeongyeon was questioning their friendship before the timer went off. Then she shared hers.

Men who don’t like cats are red flags. This is factually true though. No one really disagreed so they moved on.

Then Jimin went. His was: Men who refuse to listen to female artists are also raging red flags. Very much true. No debate there.

Then Jeongguk: Vanilla is the worst ice cream flavor. It tastes like a candle. Like nothing. Jeongguk hates tasteless things. Some agreed with him, Jimin glared at him from the side but his cheeks were puffed with food so he’s nowhere near as intimidating as he’d think.

Then came Nayeon. She cleared her throat, then popped a green tea kit kat in her mouth. “As someone who has hooked up with both men and women, I can surely say that men don’t know how to give head.” She says confidently.

Silence rings in the air for a moment. Jeongyeon is sitting smug next to her girlfriend, while Jimin and Taehyung look confused.

And Jeongguk…well, he’s a bit confused too.

“Excuse you, I give great head,” Jimin places a hand on his chest, offended. “Have you seen these luscious lips? And I don’t have a gag reflex!”

Nayeon rolls her eyes. “Okay, well I don’t know how it goes for men but I’m talking about going down on women. They suck at it and most women agree.” Her arms cross over her chest confidently.

Jeongguk immediately thinks about you. He wants to know if you would agree.

Taehyung rests his head on Jeongguk’s shoulder. “How so?”

“They don’t do the right things. Porn has rotted their brains to thinking that moaning into it and moving their tongue around you is enough when it isn’t. You can’t just wiggle it around and expect me to scream and come like a paid actress.” Nayeon huffs. “I used to think something was wrong with me until,” she trails off, pink dusting her cheeks and it’s clear what she meant. Jeongyeon’s shoulders grow even higher with confidence. “A-and you can’t even tell them that it doesn’t feel good because then you bruise their ego and they’ll never do it again.”

Hearing that, Jeongguk begins to panic.

Is he like that? Did he not listen to you that night?

Fuck, he’s so selfish. Did you even enjoy it when he touched you? Did he even ask?

No You definitely felt something, he felt you coming, but was it good? Was he being selfish?

Oh god. Oh godgodgodgod.

“Honestly, they should take note from us,” Jeongyeon pulls Nayeon close. “I’ve never gotten complaints.” She looks cutely proud.

Taehyung pipes up. “I think us gays are just better at sex,” he feigns nonchalance while everyone hollers and toasts to their perfect, idealistic, amazing sex lives.

Everyone but Jeongguk.

All he does is think

That night when he got hard, he had no idea things would escalate to where they did but he’s so glad because he loved every second of it. From kissing, to your teasing tone, to your mouth around him, to his fingers inside of you and all the way until you came; it was perfect. Since then, Jeongguk has thought about another opportunity way more than he’d like to admit. He’s more confident now and he wants to try more things.

Gone is the first time insecurity. Jeongguk wants to take control, watch you shake and cry and beg for more. He wants you to feel good. That, in and of itself, is hot to him.

But he also wants to do well. Jeongguk doesn’t want to be like the guys Nayeon was talking about.

He knows the best way would be to directly ask you what you like but you aren’t here right now and Jeongguk knows he’ll chicken out when you’re all spread out underneath him and pretty all because he wants to impress you.

Besides, he’s relied on porn this far and if Nayeon says it’s a bad example, then he needs to learn.

Might as well take advantage of having two people who know how to please women and understand the basics.

Sober Jeongguk would never. Sober Jeongguk would worry himself into a panic attack and then use the internet instead of an actual person but sober Jeongguk isn’t here at the moment.

At some point, Jimin and Taehyung fall asleep on top of each other with their hands half inside the pizza box and that’s when he gains the courage to go talk to your friends.

Meekly, he slinks over to the kitchen where Nayeon and Jeongyeon are standing. Their backs pressed against the counter while the kettle boils some water for ramen. They’re laughing about something until Nayeon makes eye contact with him and kindly raises a brow.

“What’s up?”

He wasn’t so nervous at first but looking at her, Jeongguk is now getting nervous. “Um, so–uh– about the-the game we were playing,” he wipes his sweaty hands on his pants. “I wanted to–and please feel free to tell me to fuck off if you’re uncomfortable, I’m not trying to be weird or anything, but–”

“Spit it out, kid,” Jeongyeon teases, poking the dimple in his cheek and making him flinch.

Jeongguk exhales shakily, trying to slow his heart rate down some more.

“Are all guys really that bad when they…um, when they, you know…” He circles his hands so they can fill in the blank and thankfully, the two pick up what he’s saying. Nayeon laughs at his stuttery behavior.

“Well, I’m sure there are some guys out there that are great at eating girls out but not the ones I’ve met.” She takes a joint that was resting on a tray on the counter top, inhaling deeply, and then offers it to Jeongguk who accepts. “They just don’t know what they’re doing and they have no interest in learning, unlike women. Sex is an individual thing for them. Their pleasure and their feelings only.” Locks of honey blonde float in the air with the gentle breeze from the open kitchen window. “Why do you ask? Plan on doing it?”

He blushes, holding the smoke in for a few seconds before releasing it. “Y-yeah,” avoiding their eyes because this is so goddamn embarrassing what is he doing and it’s you he’s talking about. But they don’t have to know that. “I want her to feel good and you said that women are better at it. So I wanna learn how.”

Jeongguk wants you to feel good.

Ever since he first touched you, he can’t get it out of his head. The noises you make, the way your legs twitch and your hips rise when you’re just about to come is so fucking hot. Jeongguk can’t imagine how much sexier you’d sound with your legs wrapped around his head or seated on his face as you come over and over and over again. Wet and sobbing and spent on top of him just like you deserve.

But, he needs to gain some understanding before he does anything.

Jeongyeon smiles. Jeongguk is unsure if they know he’s talking about you or if they’re assuming he’s got some other girl on the side that he wants to please but he can’t worry about that right now. Golden advice is being poured into his ears like fresh ambrosia from the gods themselves.

“Alright, all you have to do is…”

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

“Are you almost home?” You hear your mom’s voice pour from the speakers in your earbuds.

Looking down the end of the street, you see your apartment building, so you bring the microphone close to your lips to speak. “Yeah, like ten seconds away.” Thank god too, your arms were hurting from carrying your tote bag and the packaged food your mom sent you away with.

After Tuesday, when you were publicly humiliated, you didn’t go back to school. Walking home in the rain without an umbrella gave you a slight cold and that combined with the pain you felt emotionally, resulted in you needing to go home for two days. There’s something about being doted on, eating home-cooked food, and the comfort of a parent that makes all sicknesses feel like nothing. Thankfully, she lives a 30 minute train ride from here on the opposite side of Seoul.

It was nice. You didn’t tell your mom about what had gone down. Just gave her a basic run down as to why you got sick and not much else.

Oh and you did tell her that you and Jeongguk reconnected but that’s about it. There’s no telling how your mother would react if she found out the two of you hooked up. You’re close with her but not that close.

But now that you’re feeling better, you;ll probably call him and explain yourself. Then put an end to hooking up for good so you don’t repeat this mistake.

“Make sure you carry that mini umbrella in your bag. I keep on telling you and you never listened to me,” she lectures, making you groan.

“I know, I know, you were right,” your tone is light so she can tell you’re just messing with her. “I’ll put one in my bag as soon as I get home, okay?”

“Okay,” she sighs. The sound of the doorbell rings in the background. “Oh shoot, okay. I have to go darling, the repairman is here to fix the washing machine. Bye! Stay safe! Eat the soup!”

You reach the front of your apartment building anyways so no need to call. “Bye mom,” you mumble back, opening the front door and then walking to the elevators because you are too exhausted for the stairs. To use them, you scan the sensor on your keys and press the up button.

It’s quiet in this lobby. No music, no group of people giggling or talking about their plans. It’s a Saturday evening and this building, filled with college students, is pin drop silent.

You hate it because it leaves you alone with your tired, buzzing brain who has not been kind to you these past few days.

Ever since that cursed post on GossipLeaks, you’ve been regretting the day you ever let a man into your life romantically. The day you had sex for the first time has been the catalyst in all of this. No peace, no happiness, just slut shaming and pain.

Honestly, what’s the most annoying part about all of this is that your body count isn’t that high.

Not that any number of hookups should warrant this kind of treatment. It’s no one’s business and shaming people for having healthy consensual sex is so lame.

Leaving Jeongguk out because you didn’t sleep with him, you’ve fucked about 30 guys. That’s over the course of almost four years since you had sex for the first time in high school. It’s not that bad. There are guys on this campus bragging about their count being in the 200s yet not a single word of criticism or judgment is thrown their way. They’re praised and seen as gods.

But when you have some fun casual sex every once in a while, suddenly you’re a harlot and you deserve nothing. Yeah, that sounds fair.

Switching the song on your playlist to 505 by the Arctic Monkeys, you exit the elevator to your floor and pull your keys out from the pocket of your hoodie. It’s dinner time and your mom packed your favorite.

You open the door to find Snowball yowling at you for attention. You had Nayeon and Jeongyeon take care of her while you were back home. She’s usually pretty okay with them but some days she simply needs to have you around. Today must’ve been one of those days. Cooing, you set your bag on the ground and reach towards her to scratch the side of her face and pinch her cheeks.

“Sorry baby, I’m home now, okay?” Snowball purrs in response. You pick her up and cuddle with her in your lap for a little bit until she’s had enough attention for now.

To compensate for your absence, you got some treats too and the little ball of fur happily eats up the salmon treats while you put the food away.

Then you light up a candle, open your windows to let the stuffy air out and begin on a few simple chores. Mainly putting the dry dishes back in the cupboard, cleaning the cat litter, some laundry and finally taking out the trash.

You always enjoy doing these kinds of things, especially after a long few days of eating garbage and wallowing in your sick sadness. It feels nice to have fresh sheets and an empty trash can (you do the others daily already). Like a reset, a new start, which is just what you needed.

Although, part of you feels bad for avoiding your friends for so long.

Let’s be honest, you were embarrassed beyond anything and then the rain actually gave you a cold so some time away was 100% necessary. However, you wish you didn’t storm out without much of an explanation. You were just so embarrassed and sad and you didn’t want to cry in front of people who were clearly laughing at your demise.

Bolting was the best choice but now that you’ve had your space, you really just want to explain yourself to the three of them, specifically Jeongguk who is directly affected by shit like this.

While boys have it infinitely easier because they aren’t ostracized for their sexual activity, he must be uncomfortable with all of the questions being thrown his way. Maybe you’ll call him over the weekend for coffee and let him know or you could actually just facetime him so you won’t have to leave your house. Whatever, you’ll figure it out later.

Before depositing the bags of trash to the large bins outside the apartment building, you take a quick shower, changing into a freshly washed set of clothes that are still warm from the dryer.

Smelling like fresh laundry and the flowery scent of your lotion, you hum a song under your lips while taking the three bags outside to the bins. You think nothing of it. It’s around 8pm, most people are out right now, either going back home or leaving it. Tons of bodies are expected.

Quickly, you round to the back of the building, dump the bags, and just as you turn the corner, your eyes meet that special pair.

Big, sparkly, innocent when they want to be, salacious at times, but endearing nonetheless.

“Jeongguk,” you exhale.

He looks good, great, actually. The wind has tousled his hair around, making it look like he styled it to be messy and fluffy. Jeongguk has mastered an effortless look with a dark blue windbreaker, black cargos and white chunky sneakers. You can even see some rings on his fingers that match the ones hanging from his earlobes.

Jeongguk turns at the sound of your voice and immediately rushes over to you. “Noona,” his eyes soften immediately, “Are you feeling better?” He asks, delicately holding you away with two hands on either side of your arms.

His touch is warm, even through the thick material of your hoodie. Makes your stomach flip.

“Yeah, lots.” You giggle barely, patting his arm softly. “What are you doing here?” Jeongguk removes his hold on you, shoving them into the pockets of his jacket.

“I had a meeting with my league captain’s place two blocks from here and I was going to catch the train using the station near your place.”

“Oh.” You open your mouth to say something but his stomach rumbles loudly and Jeongguk covers the area up with his arms in embarrassment, making you smile. “Hungry?” He blinks at you widely and cutely.

“Yeah but only if you’re okay with it. I know,” he looks to the side awkwardly, “I know you wanted space and all so it’s cool if not. I can get Subway or something.”

As kind as it is for Jeongguk to respect this boundary that you haven’t verbally admitted is already somewhat gone, you’d feel bad letting him walk around on an empty stomach.

“I’m cool with it. My mom packed way too much anyways.” You shrug to make him more likely to say yes. Thankfully, it works.

Jeongguk scratches the back of his neck, sniffling from the cold once and then nodding. So you beckon him to walk next to you, back inside your apartment building and inside the elevator.

The conversation is brief and minimal, mainly asking about his week and how his meeting with his league went. You get brief responses in return which make you think he’s either annoyed with you or simply too hungry for chit chat. It’s slightly annoying that you don’t have the courage to be forthright and ask him how he’s feeling as if you didn’t have this man’s dick in your mouth a week ago.

Come on, you think as the elevator doors part. What’s the worst that he could say?

“Yeah, I am annoyed because you left for three days and I haven’t heard from you since.”

Well, you had a reason and a valid one at that. Besides, Jeongguk wouldn’t be annoyed over something so understandable.

The keys unlock the front door and you hold it open for Jeongguk, who slips his sneakers off and is immediately met by a curious Snowball. The moment she recognizes him, she headbuts her head into his calf, purring loudly.

“Hi baby,” he coos, petting her after plopping on the ground. You watch from halfway to the kitchen, a smile instantly forming on your lips as Snowball practically melts under his touch.

“She missed you,” you muse. “Looks like you’re the favorite.”

Jeongguk snorts. “Doubt it,” he looks up at you through his lashes, flashing the one deep dimple he has on his cheek along with the various creases in his skin.

Your heart flutters immediately.

“I’ll reheat the food.”

There’s a comfortable silence that resumes among the two of you. Jeongguk moves to the coffee table, leans against the edge of your bed and pets a purring Snowball while you tinker in the kitchen. He turns on the TV, watches a replay of some Mnet performance and hums along softly. You bring the steaming dishes out along with rice and chopsticks, settling a comfortable distance from the younger and eating.

He doesn’t say a word. You change the channel to the k-drama you were just binging during the train ride that you’ve watched maybe 900 times and Jeongguk doesn’t say anything.

Your eyes well up at the romantic scenes and you bury your feelings into green tea Kit-Kats and tea. Jeongguk doesn’t say anything.

He doesn’t say a single word until the food is all done, the drama rolls the credits and Snowball has moved to a corner far away to sleep. Then Jeongguk gains the courage to ask you.

“Do you…do you want to talk about it?” Jeongguk asks meekly.

At first, you had no idea what he meant. Then it hits.

Of course he’d want some answers. It’s his name that’s attached to your stupid label. Not like you can keep Jeongguk in the dark forever, right?

You had prepared yourself for this so you weren’t as uncomfortable but when the time hits, you sort of want to crawl into a ball and die.

You sigh, keeping your eyes on the half-finished bag of Kit-Kats. “No… yes… sort of.”

The thing is, only two people know the full story: Nayeon and Jeongyeon. Your mom knows about high school but those two have every detail.

Usually, you wouldn’t be so keen on spilling this out to anyone but the look on Jeongguk’s face is genuine concern and he isn’t some sleazy hookup you met at a bar. Jeongguk actually cares about you. He won’t use this against you or shame you. He’s asking because he cares. So it should be okay.

Besides, it gets tiring holding all of this in from your mom and adding on each shitty story to the pile. It’s close to overflowing inside of you and you need to let some out.

Jeongguk is trustworthy. He knows you. So you decide to start from the beginning of all of this.

“My track record with guys isn’t exactly clean,” you start, staring at the Hello Kitty pattern on your socks. “The first guy I slept with only did it as a bet because he knew I really liked him.” There’s a drop in your stomach at the mere mention of Seojoon. His gentle laughter and rough hands and how he barely even flinched when he saw how much you were crying when you found out. “He told me we were dating and that he was in love with me. I stupidly believed him and let him take my virginity because I wanted him so bad that I didn’t even see the red flags. Then I saw him making out with another girl and… it sort of broke me.”

Back then, you were quite the target. You were poor, your clothes and books were cheap, you didn’t have the newest phone or the nicest stationery and other classmates loved to point that out about you. All you wanted was to be accepted, to have friends, and fall in love.

Everyone seems to romanticize teenage love but they never seem to talk about how difficult teenage loneliness is either.

Seeing couples or hearing people talk about love like it was so easy made you want to scream into the void. Why couldn’t you have that? You wanted it so bad but why wasn’t it coming to you? Were you not lovable? Not worthy of a crush?

Seojoon was supposed to be your chance at teenage love only for him to hurt you the most.

That summer break, you swore you were going to die alone. The empty loneliness began to consume you. All you wanted was for someone to care about you and instead you got ridiculed. For having feelings. It was awful and you never cared about love again.

Some part of your brain is convinced that men are incapable of feeling love. Look at your dad, leaving without a second word, and look at Seojoon. You loved them and they burned you.

“Then, I started college and I decided that I wouldn’t let another guy manipulate me like that ever again. I was going to stay single for a while which was fine because my department got along. We weren’t super close but it was cordial, especially us first year girls. We’d get snacks, do homework, bake together and gossip a lot. Mostly the latter because all of us were kind of obsessed with this older guy, Junho.” You explain, imagining his honey sweet smile and eyes. “He was a class representative for the Econ department with a reputation for dating around and all of the girls, aside from Jeongyeon, used to dream that one day, he’d pick one of us and we’d get our happy ever after.”

It was fun. He was sort of like the department’s prince charming or It-Boy. Girls would flock around him, sometimes you included, just to get a glimpse of the Junho.

Jeongguk rests his chin on his knees that are folded up to his chest, staring intently at you as you continue to speak. “The thing is, Junho was actually really nice even though he was a total fuck boy. He just had a quality about him that made everyone like him. He was sociable and easy to talk to and cute but I never made a move. I was perfectly okay with finding him attractive from a distance because in my head, he was just this guy I thought was cute. That’s all I allowed myself to feel while the other girls kissed his cheek and asked for photos when they could.”

You knew that was for the better anyways.

Guys like Junho were a lot like Seojoon. Their egos were nice and fluffed to the point where they saw girls as expendable. If one said no, there’s a high chance one will just because they’re so blessed in genetics. Back then, you didn’t want to suffer the pain you felt because of Seojoon so you kept a distance and smiled as the other girls were living the dream.

“At some point, one girl he was messing around with absolutely rejected him in front of everyone and you could tell it hurt because he actually liked her. He didn’t show up at school for a few days and when he did, he wasn’t the old Junho. Instead, he was standoffish and quiet. Girls still wanted him but the interest changed from wanting to pin him down with commitment to healing his broken heart.” You stare at your fingernails, chipped nail polish revealing your pink nail beds. “I still kept my distance. I mean, what happened sucks but I wasn’t going to worry about it.” That’s what happens when you treat girls like shit. “Until I found him buying soju at a convenience store one night.”

A big mistake.

Jeongguk’s expression doesn’t change one bit and you’re glad for that. It makes you think he isn’t judging you in his head.

“He says hi and asks if he can talk to me and even though I wanted to say no, I couldn’t. I was starving and I wanted to eat at the store but I couldn’t disrespect him by rejecting him unless I wanted to get mauled the next day at school,” you explain. The seniority was insane. Still is. “So Junho and I ate together and then he just started trauma dumping on me about his failed relationship.”

Going on and on about how he was such a good guy and she was the first girl he ever really liked and that she was different and that she could change him for the better. Looking at it now, that was a sack of shit but nineteen year old you was eating up every word.

Especially when he started hitting deep.

“He was crying on my shoulder and I just felt so bad. I mean, sure, Junho was a player but I know what it feels like to want someone so bad and almost be punished for it. So I tried to console him by giving some basic ass advice like it’ll stick around if it’s meant to be. I don’t even think he was listening,” a sardonic laugh leaves you at what comes next. At how idiotic you were. “I guess halfway through my spiel he realized I was a girl with boobs who was a inches away from him and his primitive man brain just connected these imaginary dots. Since I had sympathy for him, I must want to console him even further with sex. So he asked if he could kiss me.”

Jeongguk doesn’t say anything but his chin tucks in and that’s enough of a reaction for you to continue.

“And you wanna know what I said? Yes.” You laugh again at your utter stupidity. “Not only because I was attracted to him but because I actually felt so sorry for him that I was willing to be his one-way ticket to happiness. I didn’t want him to feel worthless anymore, not like I did when Seojoon rejected me.” White hot shame burns your skin, your insides, all throughout your body. “I wanted to give him the fraction of attention I wished someone could’ve given me back then. I thought it would maybe soothe some of my old wounds too, maybe we…we both could move on from this.” It sounds so illogical right now but back then, it made complete sense. “We slept together one night and the next morning, after leaving me in his bed without another word, Junho tells everyone.”

It started with his chummy friend group, typically bragging after getting laid and getting his ego boosted. Like how every rumor or story passes around and Junho made sure to leave in the juicy details.

“He said I was the best rebound lay he’s ever had and that I made sure to make him feel like a king again,” you roll your eyes. All you did was blow him before letting him put it in. That should not constitute this much embellishment. “His friends told their friends who told other people and somehow the entire school knew I slept with him. That day, I walked onto campus and guys who never gave me the time of day before were suddenly so interested in me.” Which you didn’t mind but it did get annoying when they would look everywhere but your face. “I didn’t think anything else would happen. Only, I forgot how the girls would react.”

Remember, Junho was the It-Boy. Everyone wanted him and if you got to sleep with him, you were either harassed and slut-shamed or praised. It depended on how Junho reacted. Now, you didn’t hurt him so you thought you were in the clear but that rule ended up changing.

Because now all the guys wanted you and some girls didn’t like that.

“They were annoyed that I got with him first without consulting them. Thinking I wanted all of this attention and I wanted to be the first girl from our year to sleep with them like this was some kind of competition when that couldn’t be the farthest from the truth. I explained myself and I told them it was a one time thing and I was only trying to comfort him but it didn’t matter. They made their decision. My fate was sealed. I became rebound girl.” It took one simple night for your entire college life to be ruined. “Guys would come to me, complain about their broken hearts, manage to get to me because I’m easy and I always manage to convince myself that they mean no harm when they always do, sleep with me, then tell the entire school the next day. Rinse and repeat. I’m an idiot,” you exhale, hiding your face in your hands.

It’s such a painful sensation to want to cry but no tears come out. You want to scream, shout into the sky about how frustrating this entire thing is but you don’t have the energy.

All you feel is exhaustion. Accepting this fate is your only option. You dug this grave, now go lie in it alone, like you deserve.

“I should’ve known. I should’ve been smart enough to stop after the first person but I keep on giving these guys the benefit of the doubt and trusting them when they actually say they want me when–I just–ugh, I’m so–”

Then something warm gently scoots across your back and your nose is filled with the scent of cotton and floral notes. The arm curls around you, cupping your shoulder as the other one rounds your front and Jeongguk is hugging you.

Okay and maybe the position is awkward and maybe you’re about as red as a tomato with anger but this hug is just what you needed.

Throughout the week, all you did was blame yourself and convince yourself to keep some distance from Jeongguk. You didn’t want to ruin his reputation or bring him into your mess with this weird love triangle with Juri because he simply didn’t deserve that just for being your friend and letting you suck him off once. But your heart simply wasn’t in it. You didn’t want to leave the one person that reminds you of your childhood and feels like home.

“You’re not an idiot,” Jeongguk says.

You sigh. “You don’t have to–”

Jeongguk interrupts you. “No,” he presses firmly. “So what if you slept with that Junho guy? What does it matter to everyone else?” He huffs cutely with his thick brows all furrowed and lips slightly pouty. “Why do they get to shame you when there are tons of other college students doing the same thing? Why are you the only one in the wrong?”

Jeongguk is right. Lots of people have lots of sex. Guys are on the higher side but there are people out there having regular hookups. You get chastised for it.

But at the same time…

“I allowed this to happen, Jeongguk.”

Even if those guys tried to get to you with their sob stories, you still said yes at the end of the day. You played into this reputation. Aren’t you at fault too?

“You didn’t allow anything, though.” He sighs, turning more to you, hands cupping your cheeks to get you to meet his gaze, thumbs tracing the skin under your eyes. “Noona. This isn’t your fault. Please don’t blame yourself for this.”

“It feels like it. No matter what I do, people will always see me as some big bad slut. How can I not believe it?” It’s your turn to sigh, gently pushing Jeongguk’s hold off your face and turning to the side. “Have people been treating you differently?”

Is it as bad as you think? Are girls refusing to talk to him? Boys usually never get the kind of treatment you do but you can’t help but panic.

Jeongguk waves it off. “No,” his eyes roll heavily and it doesn’t soothe you. “Like there are a few comments here and there but it’s all praise.”

Momentarily, you are relieved that he isn’t being ridiculed for sleeping with you. At least, you think, at the very least boys will always get away with their promiscuity. You can count on that.

“Still. Being associated with me in that way is just no good, Guk,” you remind him, even though pushing him away is the last thing you want. You want him close, to feel his touch, to kiss his lips and be with him. There’s a fire brewing inside you and it hasn’t been quenched since the first time you got to kiss him. All it does is ask for more chances.

To kill that flame would take a lot from you and you already don’t have much to give.

Jeongguk links your fingers together and rests them on his outstretched thigh, searching your eyes to gain your attention. “I don’t care about a bunch of random people and their opinion. It’s not going to stop me from seeing you. Not them and not that Juri girl, okay?”

Fucking Juri.

She spearheaded all of that hatred towards you when Junho spilled the beans on you sleeping with him. She was the one behind the scenes telling all of the other girls in your grade just how awful and back-stabbing you were. You hadn’t even wronged her. Sure, she liked Junho just as much as everyone else did but you still had yet to hit her where she was really sensitive.

“Juri never liked me. The first time we met, she had this impression with the way I dressed or if some guy looked at me too long. As if she could already tell I was the type of girl to seduce every guy in my vicinity.” It didn't matter what you wore, some guys just stared because the way society oversexualizes everything about a woman. You weren’t a person to them, you were an object with tits and a nice ass. “When the rumor got out, it was like her first impression was confirmed and she was telling everyone else how awful I was.” It just gets worse and worse delving into this topic and while Jeongguk hasn’t been scared off just yet, this might be it. You sigh, avoiding his eyes for your conjoined hands to comfort you. “After Junho there was this other guy, I think his name was Sunghoon, and he was best friends with Junho. Juri had a massive thing for him, even more than whatever she felt for Junho, but I didn’t know because we were never friends.”

No one knew but Juri’s circle. It was a secret crush after all.

“Sunghoon heard about me from Junho and wanted to sleep with me too. I was already upset about Junho telling everyone so I ended up rejecting him since it was too soon but he still told everyone we did it anyway. Of course, everyone believed him no matter what I said. My reputation was set in stone.” You feel Jeongguk squeeze your hand tightly when your voice wobbles slightly. You swallowed down any pain you felt inside. “Juri was furious and now all of the other girls had perfect reason to hate me because I apparently stole her man. I tried to tell her that I didn’t know and that I’m sorry and that it wasn’t even true but she didn’t want to hear it.”

Part of you doesn’t want to blame her. You know what it feels like when the guy you like chooses another girl. It hurts more than anything else, digs at your insecurities, begs the question if you are loveable or some ugly beast.

But Juri was never kind to you to begin with. She isn’t a girl’s girl, she’s someone who will do anything for male validation. Even if it means losing all of her friends.

So you know what? You don’t need someone like that in your life.

Nayeon and Jeongyeon would never do something like that.

“Did anyone else lie about having sex with you?”

A sad scoff leaves your lips. “You wanna know what the actual number is?” Jeongguk nods. “30. But ask anyone in our school, they’ll easily say 300 or some shit. Most guys have lied.”

Not like anyone will fact check. Junho did enough embellishment so all of the other guys could simply say your name and they’d believe it.

That’s what reputation is. A label attached to a person so powerful that it does things on its own. And you had a reputation for being a slut who fixes broken men.

Jeongguk groans, breaking you out of your train of thought. “This is so frustrating.” Your head turns, finds genuine anger on his boyish features. “All of those guys came to you. Junho and that Sunghoon guy and Seojoon all came to you and made you think they needed to have sex with you to feel good,” Jeongguk stresses. “And then you get punished for being a victim to their games.”

A man can be promiscuous all he wants but a woman has to remain pure. Not for her own sake but for the sake of men. Whenever women put themselves first, they’re bullied into silence. They aren’t supposed to act like men. They’re supposed to be proper, beacons of purity and grace.

Well, who fucking made that rule?

Why can’t men be the beacons of purity? Why do they get to slut around and get away with it?

Why are you the spawn of Satan for even looking at a guy while there are boys at your university who have actually slept with over 100 women.

“People suck,” is all you can say back. You’re just one person. There’s no way you can change the way society has been structured for years on end, right? A twinge of despair sits heavily in your chest as you’re consistently met with the reality of your situation.

“They do. And you know what?”Slowly, you look back up into Jeongguk’s sparkly bright eyes. He’s got the beginnings of a smile on his lips and you swear your stomach rushes with butterflies. “It’s their loss. Because they are missing out on getting to know a beautiful, kind, smart, accomplished and hardworking woman.”

You soften immediately. Sure, you’ve been called beautiful before but never the others. After being sexualized for years on end, no one else ever saw your worth beyond that so you had to tell yourself. Sometimes it worked, sometimes your insecurities got the best of you. But you know that you’re hardworking and smart and kind.

It’s different coming from Jeongguk.

He’s saying it for you, not to benefit himself later on. It’s real, not a blanket statement. There’s no promise that you’ll blow him and he won’t go around telling people that you did because he isn’t like that.

He’s a man who genuinely likes you for you. Not your body or your reputation.

Your legs uncurl and you’re inching closer to him. It’s an automatic response. You don’t even think to try to hold it back because you don’t want to and you shouldn’t have to. It’s safe in your apartment and no one will call you anything here. You get on your knees and swing one leg over his lap once more, inviting the soft scent of him as your face buries in the crook of his neck, arms wound around his shoulders.

Jeongguk is warm and his hands are back on your hips innocently. The touch isn’t sexual at all and it’s just what you needed.

Jeongguk’s chin rests on your shoulder as he starts speaking once more. “And you know what? Someone got caught fucking in the teachers lounge two days ago and it’s all everyone is talking about. No one has mentioned this story at all so don’t worry about it. I’m the least affected by this. I want to know if you’ll be okay.”

You smile against his skin, hopes he can feel you do that.

“I will.”

This rumor will pass, someday, certainly. But then, you refuse to be photographed with a man in any sort of context. All hookups will have to leave at 3am or something.

Speaking of….

“You wanna stay the night?” You pull your head out, fingers twisting with the strands at the back of his head. “It’s getting late and I don’t want you to take the subway right now.” You live in a safe area but still. And you want him around but only if he’s interested. “I could call you a cab too, if you want?”

“No, I’ll stay. I just don’t have any sleepwear.” He looks down at his cargo pants with a slight pout. God, he’s adorable.

“I have sweatpants,” you offer. Or Jeongguk could also sleep in his boxers.

Unlike some people, you can control yourself.

“There’s a high chance they won’t fit.”

Right. Boy has huge thighs. Muscular and toned. You can feel them underneath your legs and the brief thought of riding them until you cum all over him passes through your mind like a cheetah. Now is simply not the time to be horny.

Seriously, your cycle of terror finished two days ago. You have to relax. You just said you could control yourself.

Still, you let one of your hands slither down from where they were hanging behind Jeongguk’s neck to the planes of his chest, stopping right where his beating heart should be. It thumps soundly beneath your fingertips while allowing you to feel up the firm peaks of his chest that you so desperately want to squeeze like anything.

“Speaking from experience?” You smirk.

Jeongguk’s face dulls, pinching your side in retaliation. You yelp. “Look when you live with two sisters, laundry gets mixed up and I’ve had a lot of sweatpants barely go up my legs until I started running my clothes alone.”

Giggling, you flick under his chin.

Although, the thought of him doing his own laundry is also hot and–holy fuck, bro, get it together.

You tap his chest once. “Fine, I’ll get you a pair.” You sigh, waiting for Jeongguk’s hold on your waist to loosen so you can get up, which he allows you to do.

Except, sitting on your knees for so long left them sore and lacking in blood flow so by the time Jeongguk also gets up, your legs almost give out, resulting in you collapsing against his chest for balance and your hands landing right on his chest.

“Sorry,” you exhale with some laughter. Jeongguk’s hands first curl around your elbows, warm and comforting, and then down to your hips. “Gimme a sec. I literally can’t feel my legs so I’ll have to hold onto you for a–ah!”

Jeongguk uses the hold he has on you to lift you up, twine your legs around his waist with a little bounce in his movement. Your hands clutch at his body when you feel your feet lift off the ground, fear subsiding when he looks up at you with glimmering eyes.

Staring back, it’s obvious why women like him, why Juri was so upset when he rejected her. Jeongguk is so attractive it’s insane. From every angle, he manages to look perfect. Like an angel.

“I like it better this way,” he grins.

Doesn’t help that he’s sweet like candy on the inside too.

The blush on your cheeks must make you look like a tomato but you don’t care. The way Jeongguk looks at you, holds you, has your entire body covered in goosebumps. Fluttering inside your tummy, screaming at you to pin him down against that mattress and show him all of the things that you like too.

But all you do is playfully roll your eyes. “You nearly gave me a heart attack,” you pretend to scold.

“You like it.”

Fuck, he’s smirking and he’s right. You did like it. There’s something to be said about being manhandled and tossed around like some ragdoll. You’ve always been the submissive one in sex so the thought of Jeongguk bending your body to his will calls for a rush of arousal.

That coupled with the cocky look on his face. It’s fucking Niagara Falls down there.

“Just move, Jeon. Unless you want to sleep in the pants you’re already wearing.”

Jeongguk moves a hand up to salute you, still keeping a strong grip on the back of your thighs. You bite back a gasp when he subconsciously squeezes the mass to make sure his hold doesn’t falter.

You’re already throbbing. Both from the act of strength and the confidence wavering off him. When Jeongguk first touched you, he was so hesitant but now he’s reached a point where he can hold you without fear that he’s crossing a boundary. Thanks to the conversation you had at the beginning of the week and you’re glad about it. He’s one of the only guys you genuinely trust.

And currently, he’s the only guy you want to pin you down on your bed

Directing him to the chest of clothes, Jeongguk walks the two of you forward. Then sets you down in front of it. You could’ve easily gotten up but, you know, why do that?

With a still fuzzy brain, shaking fingers curl around the drawer’s metal handle. You pull open the first drawer of your dresser without much thought. Jeongguk is hovering behind you with curious eyes, allowing you to get drunk on the scent of him and the warmth of his body.

But being on cloud nine makes you forget that the drawer you opened just so happens to be your lingerie drawer.

And you pause. Like a dog getting caught doing something they weren’t supposed to be doing.

The contents are neatly packed. Lacy and skimpy, in multiple colors. No one should own this much lingerie but you love it. The confidence a nice set gives you and the way some react make spending all of that money online worth it. You feel powerful and you’ve had some great fucks in some of these sets.

However, this is not how you planned on showing Jeongguk your collection.

Yeah, let’s add this to the list of porno plots that you thought happened to no one but happened to you because you are experiencing bouts of embarrassment and bad luck at the moment. You might as well change your name and move to Switzerland to herd sheep now.

Jeongguk pauses behind you too. The hands that were on your hips, steading you for no reason, feel slightly detached.

Causing you to panic.

The drawer slams shut. “S-sorry! Wrong one.” You go to the 2nd one and pull out a large gray pair, pushing it into Jeongguk’s chest without another word.

Oh my god. Ohmygodohmygodhohmygod.

You should’ve actually thought this through! Instead of letting the lightness from Jeongguk picking you up dictate your every move like an idiot. Now what will he think?

Sidestepping him, you don’t even want to imagine what could be going on in Jeongguk’s head. A desperate ploy to sleep with him after complaining about the way men treat you? Trying to gain his sympathy just to get him in bed? Sounds hypocritical, right?

You should go. You should check on the dishes or make some tea or–

“Noona,” Jeongguk stops you with a soft hand on your wrist. “It’s okay,” his voice is firm and sure, causing you to slowly turn your neck to face him.

His lips are set neutral, a little pouty like always. But his expression seems to be calm.

“You don’t have to apologize or anything.” You watch his Adam’s apple bob when he swallows. “Honestly, it was…” he trails off, the redness becoming more obvious on his cheeks and ears.

Oh.

Any rigidness in your body begins to melt and you feel that previous fluttering in your belly return, pushing you to take a step closer. “Did you like them?” You ask, boldly.

Gone is the fear that you’ve pushed him away, reaffirmed your reputation or behaved like the very assholes who gave it to you because he doesn’t believe in that. He likes you and trusts you and you have no reason to panic when things like this happen. Jeongguk won’t call you a slut.

He cuts contact, looks to the side, and you see the briefest nodding on his head. Your smile grows tenfold. How cute.

“Oh, I see.” Abandoning any plans of running from him, palms flat on the firmness of his chest that you so desperately want to sink your teeth into. The light hitting the top of his head illuminates his skin, making him all golden, and you don’t think you can handle your wetness any longer. Jeongguk is just that good looking. “Do you wanna pick one out?”

His eyes flash up to you. “What?”

“Pick one for me to wear.”

Jeongguk’s boy brain seems to put the pieces together slowly, realizing what you want to happen, what you’re greenlighting that he’s been thinking about for a few days now.

You take initiative by going back to your dresser, tugging Jeongguk along, and opening the drawer all over again. Now Jeongguk can actually look at it instead of relying on the five second glimpse he got before. Sees all of the lace and mesh cut outs, sees the box of condoms in the corner, some lube. Thankfully, you’ve hidden any sex toys so you won’t have to deal with that.

While him finding lingerie was pretty tame in retrospect, Jeongguk finding that 7 inch vibrator you’ve got would be the end of you.

None of your baby dolls are in here but you don’t think those are Jeongguk’s style. Too much frill and fabric, meant for guys who really desire stereotypical femininity in the girls they fuck and want a little show when fucking. Jeongguk seems a little more straightforward. Likes easy access while still being sexy. So all of your teddys, which are essentially bodysuits or swimsuits made mostly of lace, are in this drawer. His eyes travel all throughout, ignoring the pinks and teals and reds for black and white.

Inching closer, Jeongguk seems to be deciding on two in particular. Then gently pulls one out by the strap.

“I like this.”

Your jaw slackens slightly. It’s crotchless, first of all, and it’s completely see through. Even the cups reveal your nipples without much fabric covering it. There’s a single strip of fabric going down your sternum and there are two identical lace detailing on your sides, completely free where your mons would be. Open right at your entrance.

Jeongguk picked a much more revealing one. You wonder what on earth he has planned for you but you nod regardless, taking the article of clothing from him and brushing some hair out of his face.

“Get changed and then wait on the bed for me.” Kissing him briefly on the nose.

Thankfully, you took an everything shower yesterday. Not that you really care about hair and men who do are weird but this will be your second time hooking up with Jeongguk so you still want to look a certain way for him, just until you talk about preferences some more.

Jeongguk speed walks to your bathroom, has you giggling at the way he urgently shuts the door. Snowball’s head perks up from her bed and you carefully move her to a different bed in a farther corner so she doesn’t have to bear witness to whatever will happen. She isn’t happy about it, makes an irritated low noise when you hold her but it’s for her own good.

After patting her a few times to get comfortable in her new bed, Jeongguk emerges with your pants in his hands.

“They didn’t fit.”

Not that you’re complaining.

“Shame, guess your boxers will have to do.” You feign annoyance but the slight bulge in the fabric tells you the opposite.

Jeongguk’s expression is difficult to judge. He follows your body as you saunter to the bathroom, eyes burning a hole in your back. You purposefully sashay a little, making sure your ass is shown off, that your hair swishes around. You’re dripping in confidence and you didn’t expect yourself to be like this considering the beginning of your run-in with Jeongguk.

But, he helps bring you back down from that poor state of mind where you let everyone’s words get to you by reminding you just how amazing you are. Confidence is something you always had but it gets buried and Jeongguk just brought it back up.

At some point, you hope to grow strong enough to never allow stuff like what happened this week to bother you. Even better, that the rumor becomes squashed and you’re no longer rebound girl.

But that’ll take time and, right now, you’re willing to wait.

Stripping down, you get ready. Slipping on the lingerie, messing your hair up a bit, adding a touch of lip gloss, and humming Positions by Ariana Grande to get you in the zone.

Jeongguk should want to devour you. You should want to devour him.

The door creaks open slowly and your body is halfway out when you speak up. “Close your eyes, Jeongguk!”

Some rustling is audible. “Huh? Okay!” He calls back in his trademark polite gentle tone. A smile grows on your face right afterwards.

You got this.

The door behind you shuts, slightly colder air causing you to be covered in goosebumps but it doesn’t matter. You’ll be warmed up soon. Turning the corner, Jeongguk is seated on the edge of your bed with his legs spread wide (hot), propped up with his hands on the bed on either side of his hips.

And he’s done you the favor of already taking his shirt off, folded neatly at the foot of your bed. So Jeongguk is just in his boxers. How nice of him.

A scoff leaves your lips, too quiet for him to pick up, but your footsteps are loud and clear. Jeongguk moves his hands a little and he doesn’t flinch when you sink down onto his warm lap, arms around his neck like they belong.

“Can I open my eyes now?” Jeongguk hasn't touched you just yet. Honestly, he seems like he’d make the perfect sub with how good he is and how well he listens but you’ve never delved into that.

You have no idea if you’d totally enjoy it unless it was a teasing back and forth and Jeongguk got the chance to put you in your place too. Get you whining and crying into your sheets until–

Okay, fuck. You’re already soaking wet and bare. You don’t need the scenarios and you haven’t even responded to him.

Leaning close to his perfect face, you smack a quick kiss on his cheek, right below that scar of his. “Not yet, baby.” You purr, mapping a line down his neck with your lips. Jeongguk has such a nice neck and hickeys look so good on him. The urge to mark him up completely overtakes all rationality (not that you had much to begin with).

Kissing down to the middle of his neck slowly, your lips suction around his pulse point, digging your teeth in, and you feel Jeongguk stir beneath you. His hips raise slightly, desperate for some kind of friction that you refuse to give. All you can smell is his sweet perfume and feel his soft skin.

Jeongguk whimpers your name and you can feel your pussy throbbing, surprised that you’re not leaking all over his bare thigh.

“Fuck,” he groans, thrusting up. Jeongguk’s boxers are so thin so you can feel the defined bulge pressing into your bare mound and you almost falter from how thick and big it feels.

It’s been a few weeks since you’ve had a dick inside you and you are really craving it. Sure, you have toys that could easily help but Jeongguk is bigger than your biggest one. Suddenly, that 7 inch vibrator simply won’t cut it.

Clenching around nothing, you pull away from his neck. “You can open your eyes now,” exhaling heavily.

Jeongguk follows. Your eyes connect and it’s electric. Sizzling tension, blood pumping deep in your veins, breaths mingling. Two seconds go, passing atypically slowly, and then he moves.

Jeongguk makes the first move connecting your lips, taking you by surprise, but you kiss him back and try to match his vigor. He kisses you with passion and wanton, controlling you like he might never get another chance to taste you. Gets your heart thumping loudly in your chest.

Especially when his fingers curl around your ass, squeezing roughly to earn a gasp of rapture, and his tongue sneaks in and runs deep along yours.

Questioning if he was totally a sub? Yeah, you don’t know about that.

Getting strong switch vibes from him.

Jeongguk gets up from the bed after wrapping your legs around his waist, turning around and laying you down on the bed. Your lips break apart for a split second but Jeongguk changes the moment your back touches the mattress, as if he can’t live without your kisses. You moan at his eagerness, realizing he has yet to look at your full set yet and is going crazy over just kissing you.

Fingers wind in his soft silky hair, tongues mingling in your mouth. It’s wet and messy and vulgar, teeth clacking, but you don’t have it in you to care.

He breaks the kiss again to kiss the corner of your lips, your cheek and then your jaw before pulling away and finally looks down while hovering over you.

Watching Jeongguk’s expression change is like high art.

You swear his eyes get darker, a vein on his neck bulges. “Jesus,” he grits. One hand begins at your sternum and slithers down where your breasts threaten to spill out of the flimsy thing. Jeongguk’s thumb traces over your pert nipple, causing you to twitch at the brief stimulation. “You look so fucking hot.”

“Yeah?”

Jeongguk nods, sitting up a little so he’s kneeling between your spread legs. “Like a goddess.” His eyes take you in, eating up every inch of skin he can see. “A beautiful, sexy, amazing goddess.”

You smirk, bending your leg some more to expose more of yourself to him. His gaze dips down to your bare cunt, wet and swollen for him and you swear you see his jaw set.

“You’re talking like you wanna worship me,” you joke cornily. Honestly, you’re too taken aback by the way Jeongguk is looking at you to cringe but thankfully he doesn’t say anything against it.

“I think I do.” Is his response.

Barely processing it, Jeongguk lifts you up by your calves, resting them on his shoulders and leaning down. Your stomach flips, you gasp, trembling slightly as Jeongguk begins to leave hickeys on the soft flesh of your inner thigh along with occasional bite marks.

Is he going to do what you think he is? Does he even know how? It’s been ages since someone went down on you. Most men simply don’t know how or care to learn.

You think Jeongguk is the opposite. He isn’t pleasuring you for himself but because he wants you to feel good so if you don’t like something, he’ll fix it.

But still, eating girls out is apparently something only girls can do properly. Nayeon is a firm believer in that.

Your head tilts back with each teasing mark making you wetter and wetter. He’s certainly building up the anticipation correctly so you’ll give him a point for that. Soon you’re throbbing so bad from how sexy Jeongguk looks with his dark hair between your thighs and kiss-bruised lips that you almost beg for his mouth on you.

“Pretty,” Jeongguk growls, reaching closer to your dripping core. “Prettiest pussy I’ve ever seen.” The muscles in his back flex and you can feel them against your calves. “Can I?”

You don’t even hesitate. He’s inches away from you and you don’t think you can go another second without his touch. “Please Guk.”

He doesn’t waste another second leaning down and licking a fat stripe up your core, making your legs twitch around his head. His tongue is flat and wide starting from your entrance all the way to your clit, tasting you once and groaning immediately after.

“Shit,” you wince. Fingers getting stuck in Jeongguk’s hair. “Jeongguk.”

Embarrassingly, you almost grind on his face but Jeongguk keeps a tight hold on your hips as his mouth closes around your clit, sucking the bud a few times like he’s making out with you which has you groaning out. His nose bumps into your outer lips and you imagine that it would feel like heaven to grind back onto the bulbous tip while sitting on his face. Big noses are so hot for that reason in particular.

Jeongguk pulls back, gets up on his elbows a little to drop a fat blob of spit onto your pussy, watching it mix with your juices as you clench again. This time he notices your neediness and he chuckles darkly.

“Cute,” lips closing around your clit as he looks up at you. “Want my fingers in you badly, huh?”

“Yes.”

Jeongguk’s lips pull off with a loud pop. “How bad?” Digits tracing your soppy opening. At first you can’t formulate a response when he’s everywhere but the places you need him. So he removes all contact. “How bad do you need my fingers in this needy little pussy?”

Definitely not a sub. Definitely not a fucking sub–wow, okay.

“Badly,” grinding up into nothing, hips getting shoved back down. “I–I need you to fill me up. Please. I think about it so much. Your fingers feel so fucking good, Jeongguk. Made me cum so hard.”

You don’t lie. He’s got long fingers and is definitely the biggest you’ve had, easily reaching spots others have left dormant. You’re glad to fluff his ego on that considering how mind blowing that first orgasm was.

“I could tell,” he mutters slowly. “You came so fast,” lips closing around your clit again as you whine out. Jeongguk continues speaking. “Like a good girl”

You can’t even respond to that, can’t even begin to fathom what praise from him does to you or how you must be gushing all over your sheets right now. Jeongguk’s middle finger inches in while his tongue and mouth focus directly on your swollen clit and you lose all ability to formulate a proper sentence.

Flicking the sensitive bud back and forth at an animalistic pace while his finger slowly pushes in and out of you is where you fucking lose it. Head thrown back, thighs trembling, moaning out garbled versions of his name and breathy swears.

This is it. Better than anything else you’ve had. This combination floods you with pleasure coiling in the pit of your stomach and your muscles going rigid.

“Fuck yes–yes, just like that,” you whimper some more, using your grip on Jeongguk’s hair to tug him in further. Big mistake. “Don’t stop—don’t fucking–no, no! Why did you–”

Your leg falls off Jeongguk’s shoulder and flops onto the bed. His nose and lips are shiny but his expression is hard. “Sit up.” He orders. Jaw set and clenched.

Part of you really wants to disobey, be brat because that always results in a good time, but you need to come and you need his touch back on you as soon as possible. Meekly, your legs curl in and you slowly sit up, getting on your knees and pouting at him.

Jeongguk takes the spot you were just laying down on, head meeting your pillow with a slight bounce. He motions for you to come closer then: “Face away from me.”

Oh.

Even better.

“Gonna have this perfect pussy right in front of me while you suck me off, okay?”

Swinging your leg over, you nod desperately, arching your back a little and leaning down. You’re interrupted with a light smack on your ass, causing you to moan out way too loudly. It almost sounds like a cry of pain but it’s far from that.

Jeongguk drops the act quickly. Gently reaching for you with soft hands on your hips. “Noona, are you ok–”

“I’m fine,” you gasp. “Do it again.” You push your ass out some more, bent over his body, staring back at him with tears of desire. “Please Jeongguk.”

He’s hesitant when he sits back down. You know he doesn’t want to hurt you but the way that the pain sizzled into pleasure coupled with how badly you want his hand print on you is far from hurt. It’s fucking warranted at this point.

Jeongguk spanks you once more, on the same cheek, and you flop down all limp on top of him. His teeth sink into the flesh of your thigh, spanking the other cheek much harder than before.

Arousal drips out of you and tracks down your skin. You feel needy and pathetic but in the best way possible.

“I fucking love your ass so much,” nails dig into the already sore flesh as he praises you lowly. Jeongguk’s arms curl around your back, tugging you close to him as he continues what he was doing to you. Tongue flicking your clit at an insane pace.

You can’t handle it. Even though his hard cock is inches away from you, you need a second to control yourself as the tingling sensation begins from your toes and starts creeping up.

Someone must’ve told him this or maybe he’s watched a ton of porn. Guys never eat you out like this. They move their tongue around and moan, thinking it’s enough, and get annoyed when you haven’t come. Some blame it on you and say that you’re the problem when it’s the complete opposite.

But Jeongguk breaches your entrance with two fingers in tandem with your tongue. Those long digits immediately find that g-spot and it’s fucking over, it’s done. You’re already there. You’re so wet and it’s echoing in your small studio apartment for the both of you to hear. The pleasure building up is rapid and way too fast.

After no action for days, you’re easy. The coil in your stomach gets tighter and tighter as Jeongguk’s fingers pound out of you and his tongue continues to play with that swollen bundle of nerves.

“C-close, I’m close–I’m gonna–” you feel it, the ball unravels and your legs go out. “I’m cumming!”

Faster than you’d like to admit. You start shaking, tears streaming down your face. Trying to muffle your noises on his thigh so you don’t get a fucking noise complaint.

“Good girl. So fucking pretty when you come like that,” his fingers slow down but they don’t pull out just yet. After such a hard orgasm, you would usually need a break but the slow pace just gets you needier. “Can you take another one, gorgeous?” Jeongguk asks.

Last time he touched you, you couldn't but now you want a second go. Besides, you want to return the favor too.

“Yeah, I can.”

With a slow pace and his mouth pressing timid little kisses on your wet thighs, Jeongguk leans back when you pull his boxers down and his length stands in front of you. Leaking and hard and so fucking big.

Now that you’ve come once, you lose all inhibition. You press a kiss to the wet tip, rounding up saliva in your mouth to lick up all of the cloudy salty precum before sinking down and taking in just the tip. He’s thick so your jaw has to stretch a bit but you definitely don’t mind that.

“Fuck,” Jeongguk whispers, licking another stripe to clean you up, gets you jolting and him laughing.

He’s so atypically cocky, something you’ve never found attractive until now. It’s warranted cockiness. Ate you out like a fucking champ and has a dick big enough to make you question whether or not you can take it all. Yeah, Jeongguk can have a bit of an ego.

But only a bit.

You fold your thumb into your clenched fist and squeeze lightly to stop your gag reflex for a bit. Allowing you to take almost all of his length into your mouth. Jeongguk’s hips raise a bit to help you so it doesn’t pierce through the back of your throat completely but just until your nose meets the base of his length.

“Mmh,” he moans, feeling his chest heave against your body. Jeongguk mumbles some more praise, calls you the most prettiest girl, leans forward to get his mouth back on you, and the dance begins again.

Gently, Jeongguk fucks your mouth while you grind back into his. The pace isn’t fast and hectic like before nor is it any bit graceful but neither of you seem to care.

Each thrust is awarded with a burst of precum and your thighs shake with every hit against your sensitive spot. The air gets hot and sticky, filled with the scent of sex and adrenaline. The sounds of your wet mouth and wet pussy along with Jeongguk’s whiny noises are noises you could hear for the rest of your life and never get bored of.

This is all you want. Him and his hands and his mouth and just him.

This sweet boy who held you so close and listened and makes you cum better than anyone else had.

Even after the second time, as your arousal drenches his fingers so much they prune as you release and he shoots his load down your throat, it hits you like a punch in the face just how much Jeongguk has ruined you.

Because after this, no other man will compare.

#jungkook x reader #nerdjungkook #jungkook fanfic #jungkook smut #gamerjungkook #bts fanfiction #thereboundgirl #bts smut #bts x reader #smut series

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pandawithawand · 2 years

Text

Writing prompt by this blog.

Writing prompt in question was: You are the test subject for an experimental surgery to see wavelengths of light that humans normally cannot see. As you adjust to your new vision, you see one person in the corner furiously taking notes. “Who is that?” you ask. “Who is what?” asks the doctor, looking at the empty corner.

~*~

Grian winced as he opened his eyes to the harsh light of the lab. Had it worked? Did things seem brighter? Was anything different? Was he safe?

Well, he was alive at least. And he could still see. So far, going well.

“Doc?” His voice was croaky, as if he hadn’t used it for days, and his throat felt like sand paper. There was a small crash, like papers sliding to the floor, and Doc’s concerned face appeared in Grian’s view,

“Grian? Can you see me?” He nodded, “Okay, that’s a good sign. How many fingers am I holding up?”

“Uuuh, four,” Doc visibly relaxed,

“Phew, good to see I haven’t blinded you. Can you sit upright?”

It took him a few attempts, but eventually Grian managed to sit up without his vision going black. The lab hadn’t changed much; it had just gotten a bit messier. Paper was scattered around a lone chair, empty coffee mugs sat on the desk, and a new lab assistant he didn’t recognise was furiously scribbling notes in the corner.

“You feeling okay?” Doc himself needed a shower, “You’ve been out for a few days,” And a nap, “I should probably get you some water!” He hurried out the door, nearly tripping on untied shoelaces.

The room dimmed, then swam back into focus and Grian thought he might throw up. The lab assistant didn’t stop writing. He was tall, even hunched on the floor, and black hair was messily pushed out of his face. He wore an old, crumpled suit; it looked Victorian in style, something you would find a high classed gentleman in. He had a very fine moustache. His pen made no noise as it made it’s way across a tattered, spiral bound notebook.

The door swung open and Doc appeared once more, holding a glass of water and some buttered toast. He thrust them towards his patient, and dragged the chair towards the bed,

“You should eat that too, don’t want you to die from mal-nourishment do we?” He ended the sentence with a chuckle, badly concealing how worried he’d been. Grian decided to ignore it, and gratefully ate the overcooked toast. The water was cold and tasted slightly like iron; it always had tasted like iron in the lab, he didn’t mind though.

Okay, that was a lie. Grian minded a lot and made a huge fuss about the quality of the water filter, but right now his mouth was so dry, he would have drunk anything.

He swallowed the toast and turned to Doc,

“So, what happened?”

“Well, the surgery went well, I think, but the anaesthetic was a bit too strong and instead of putting you under for 18 hours, you were out for 32.” Well that would explain the headache, “I was a bit worried you weren’t going to wake up for a sec! Are you feeling alright? Are you still thirsty?”

“I’m alright Doc,” Grian took another sip of water. He gestured to the assistant in the corner, “Who’s he?”

Doc turned, “Who’s who?”

“The new guy. In the corner.” He turned back to Grian confused,

“There isn’t anyone in the corner...”

“But... Yes there is.”

Doc frowned, and slowly got up from the chair, “Grian, you just stay there. I might have a hunch on what you’re seeing.” He exited the room, leaving Grian alone with the man in the corner.

The man in the corner who was staring at him, open-mouthed.

Not knowing what else to do, Grian raised his hand and cautiously waved. The man shut his mouth, and looked around, like he was expecting someone else to be receiving the wave. Once he realised there was no one else -that the wave was meant for him- he jumped up, waving back and mouthing something Grian couldn’t hear. He rushed over to the bed, bouncing up and down on the balls of his feet, excitement flooding his face. Again he mouthed something and looked expectantly for a reply.

Grian just stared.

Slowly, the mans face fell and he pulled out the notebook he had been writing in. He scribbled quickly onto a page and flipped it round to face to other,

Can you see me?

Grian nodded.

Can you hear me?

He shook his head. The man deflated and scribbled something onto the page,

My name is Mumbo Jumbo. I’ve been here for a long time and I didn’t expect this experiment to work, let alone come up with results like these!

“Well, it’s nice to meet you Mumbo... What do you mean ‘results like these’?”

You can see me. You’re not really supposed to on the account of me being a bodiless spirit stuck on earth. I thought, that if the experiment had succeeded, you would see a few more colours, maybe I would make things a bit blurry if you looked directly at me, but no, you can actually see me!

Grian read and re-read the paragraph to make sure he wasn’t dreaming. Nope. That said ‘bodiless spirit’ alright. So he could see ghosts? Was Mumbo a ghost? Ghosts don’t exist. Was he actually seeing this man? Grian’s head hurt.

Mumbo had turned the notebook around and had begun writing something else, when Doc came back into the room, carrying a small black box with a lot of flashing lights on its front and a long antennae sticking out of it. The box was making a high beeping noise that was getting more and more frequent, the closer he got to Mumbo.

Just a few steps more, and the antennae was inside Mumbo’s torso causing the beeping to become an annoying, high pitched drone.

“Well that explains a lot.” Doc turned a dial on the box,

“What explains a lot? What’s going on?” Grian’s head was really hurting and he was feeling quite light-headed actually, and he might just faint,

“We’ve got ghosts”

Grian gaped at Doc, who shrugged at him, then at Mumbo. Mumbo smiled awkwardly and scrawled another message onto his notebook,

I’m the ghost

Grian saw the ceiling rush away from him and everything went black.

#Grian #mumbo jumbo #docm77 #inspired #writing prompt #hermitcraft #fanfic #hermitcraft fanfic #ficlet #tw:fainting #fainting #i guess #dunno #this is my first time writing doc #hope i characterised him right #i dunno what i'm doing here #pandawithapen

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crimsonwolfie · 3 years

Text

“You’re my night light” — Alina Starkov x Reader

⇾ Prompt: You (the reader) often suffer with nightmares from your encounter in the fold, where you were one of the only few who survived and struggle when night falls. Alina is, so to speak, your light in that darkness.

⇾ Word count: 1.9k

⇾ masterlist

⇾ Warnings: insomnia, anxiety, triggering scenes, ptsd and some really, toothache-ingly sweet fluff :,) — i want to put a reminder here that if anyone is ever struggling with their mental health that my messages are open for you to talk. It’s so important to be good to yourself, even if that means getting help. Talk to your friends, family, be gentle and kind to everyone but above all, yourself. <3

It’s been sixty-two days. Sixty-two days since you thought it was the end. Every time you close your eyes you see people you love being ripped away from you left, right and centre on the skiff. You see those limb-ripping teeth and hear that blood curdling squeal, screams of agony and cries for help followed by. Not a day goes by where you have felt safe and protected from your own mind - it’s like living in a prison cell, no escape, no sanity. You lost a lot of your own that day, people you called your family, and have felt the loneliness ever since. Typically, you’d think an orphan would be used to feeling lonely...but no. Ever since you were taken in and raised in Keramzin, you felt understood, as normal as an orphan could feel.

Shuffling your feet below, you trace your fingers along the edge of the step you’re perched on. The cold, coarse pebbles grate against your fingertips sending a painful, yet gratifying stabbing through your heart. Distant sounds of laughing and muffled shouting can be heard as you crouch deeper into your legs, knees touching your forehead. Everything has a different meaning now; every touch, every smell, every sight and every sound. They’re all signs that remind you that you are still breathing, still here. They used to depress you, paralysing your entire body with guilt until your head was filled with visions of lifeless folk, their eyes dry with death and hands reaching for you. Nothing was helping, nothing but her. Her soul radiated with a fresh innocence, efficacious to anyone who touched it. The person who held your hand when you were scared, when you were excited, even when you were angry. You found yourself filling your head with thoughts of her every time the darkness invaded, every time the memories come back to...

“Hey, y/n”

you open your eyes, looking up to see Alina staring down at you with a sweet smile painted on her face, her hand stretched out rubbing your shoulder. Leaning into her touch, you reply “Hey, you”, placing your hand on hers ever so gently. She giggles slightly as she sits down next to you on the step, shoulders attached to yours. The mellow breeze of the wind runs through your hair, cooling your heated cheeks and letting a breath escape that was stuck in your chest. Alina looks to you with her brown, cocoa eyes. She pulls her jacket tighter, breathing raggedly as the wind picks up. “You alright?” she asks.

“Now I am.” you reply as your lips curl into a smile. Alina returns the gesture as she pulls out a pen and paper. You notice Alina shivering by the clearly-meant-to-be-straight shaky lines she doodles. “How’s Mal doing?” you question whilst getting up to grab a blanket from your bed.

“He’s okay, I think.” she replies, rubbing the paper tenderly, “He’s busy either getting hurt or hurting someone else so”

You walk back over with the blanket in your hands “wait, what?” you answer startled, throwing the blanket over you both and snuggling back next to Alina.

“Yeah, don’t ask” she laughs heartedly, pulling the blanket deeper into her arms and moving closer to you, her body heat warming you as if you’ve been hugged by the sun itself. You feel your heart beating stronger, faster, as she blows on her hands in an attempt to warm them.

“You know, you could use the literal sun to warm you up” you laugh with your cheeks pink and smile radiant. Alina tilts her head with her eyes shut and smirk big, little tussles of hair falling from either side. You can’t help but coo at her adorableness as she brings her hands together, a bright, beautiful ball of golden light appearing in between them. The light illuminates her beautiful, dark orbs and that little scar she has above her left brow. Whenever you look at your best friend, all you can imagine is being able to cup her face in your hands and stroke along her perfectly comely features, telling her how much she...

“You wanna share my light?” She asks, interrupting you of your daydreaming with an entertained grin on her face. You smirk, your cheeks squishing and nose scrunching as you bring your hands to hers. She places her hands in yours, fingers lacing ever so subtly as the warmth spreads through your body.

Ever since you found out about Alina being a sun summoner, you’ve never felt so protective of someone. Everyone was after her at some point, but you made a promise to her - a promise that you would do whatever it takes to protect her, an unbreakable vow. Of course, she wouldn’t ever let you do anything stupid for her, which is why she also, annoyingly, made an unbreakable vow to protect you at all times, knowing the trauma you endured on your last trip on the skiff. You look up at her. Her lids are closed as her lashes curl effortlessly, her face slightly raised up in the air and her lips are curled in a sweet smile whilst the ball in her hands glow an aureate light. ‘She looks so pure, so at peace’ you think to yourself, feeling luckier than ever to have her.

“Thank you.” you whisper quietly, as you close your eyes, feeling heavier with tiredness every second, the warmth comforting you peacefully. Alina, taken by surprise, looks down to see you leaning on her shoulder, your hair falling in front of your face. She coos at you, leaning her head on yours as she says, “Let’s get you some rest, shall we?”

━━━━━━━━

You’re crouching beneath the deck, hands shaking violently with fear. Harks of echoes surrounded you with screams and shrieks of terror. Straddling your legs, darkness corners you. It’s a waiting game. Waiting for them to take you, waiting for the end to come. Scanning the scene around you, you try to make out what’s happening, even if the images of what you saw at this moment were imprinted on your mind, never to leave you. Fires broke out from lamps smashing to the ground, illuminating the horrors even more brightly; people were being ripped and dragged all across the deck, blood splatting out from every direction. Grisha were trying to burn, overpower and blow away the monstrous beasts but nothing worked and them, too, were hoisted away wailing into the darkness beyond. Nail marks were carved into the woodwork of the skiff with bits of clothing shreds and blood splatters decorating around them.

Friends of yours lay still on the floor, hands reaching outwards, their eyes open with no life swimming in them. Looking to your right you see Cinzia trying to fight off a volcra on top of her with a rifle, the creature’s nails digging deeply into her sides. You see her squeal in pain, clutching her side with one hand and aiming the rifle with the other, firing right into the volcra’s head. It’s as if everything is in slow motion, as she turns and catches your eye, holding her hand out towards you screaming your name. You spring forwards and grab her hand, trying to drag her to where you were, until she is swiped up into the air by another, larger volcra clutching her waist. You’re still grasping at her hand, your feet off the floor and nothing holding you up but Cinzia’s hand, until she realises what she has to do...

“Let go,” she whimpered as tears fell from her face “it’s okay”. You glare up at her, eyes filling with a sea of tears, your vision blurring. You nod, biting down on your lip to stop it trembling as the light of fires beneath you both light up your faces. “Keep fighting for me” she breathes with a gentle, sympathetic smile to which a heaved breath catches in your throat, more tears running down your face and reply “I will”. And with that, you let go, crashing to the floor.

Tears stream down your horror-stricken face as you scrunch your nose and squint your eyes closed, clambering up against a barrel, bringing your knees to your chest and rocking forwards and back. The hunting noise of the volcra gets closer as your mind wanders to Alina. You find a sense of tranquility as memories, images of Alina ponder your thoughts. Your last thoughts would be of her, and you were okay with that. The wings of the countless volcra surrounding you causes a gust of wind sending broken lanterns flying across the deck along with pieces of paper and empty barrels, fires flickering with each gust. The breeze runs through your hair as you take a deep breath and open your eyes, embracing the probability of your end. Just as you open them, a volcra comes sweeping in front of you, its teeth dripping with blood and pieces of clothing wrapped around its nails. The last thing you remember seeing is its mouth wide open, ready to scavenge your body to pieces until...

“Y/N! Hey, it’s okay, it’s okay I'm here. You’re safe” you awake to see Alina’s face in front of you, furrowed with concern with one hand caressing your cheek and the other holding a ball of light. Her voice is soothing to your ears but riddled with panic. She’s wearing a nightgown with a dressing gown wrapped around her tightly, since she has rushed from her bed to yours. You look around you, realising you’re safe in your bed, covers messily tangled over your legs as your hair sticks to your face, wet with tears. Even from the light shining out of Alina’s hand, it’s still dark around you, but somehow you feel safer with Alina’s presence. “Nightmare’s again?” she whispers, stroking the hair out of your face.

“Ye...yeah” you reply, voice croaked and coated with pain. A sniffle escapes your lips, Alina brings your head into her body with her free hand, resting your head on her chest. “I’m here” she repeats, her heartbeat slowing in a soothing song against your ear, “you’re safe”.

You both sit there like that for what feels like hours, not wanting to move or be anywhere else. In the distance, thunder can be heard along with the faint pitter of rain against the tent’s roof. Alina’s light is still burning bright as the sound of her content breathing pacifies your emotions. “Alina?” you simper, taking your head off her chest to come face to face with her.

“Yes?” she replies, her dark eyes clouded with warmth, “is everything okay?”

You play with your hands, unsure whether to confess what you want to say... “you won’t ever leave, will you?”

She looks at you with wide eyes, appearing almost shocked such a thing came out your mouth, “of course I'd never leave you!” she gasped. The light in her hands in-between you both grows stronger, “why would you ever think that?”

“Because everyone else left me, that’s why I ended up in Keramzin. And you mean more to me than anyone, even Mal, and I don’t think I would ever cope if something happened to you and i...”

“Hey...” she stops you, “I'm not going anywhere, it’s you and me, always” she places her free hand on your heart and then on hers, symbolising her words. “whenever you see light, know it means I'm with you,” she brings your hands to cup hers, as her light shines brighter and bigger, illuminating both of your faces “I'll be your nightlight to warn off the nightmares, whenever you need me”.

With eyes full of hope and happiness, you intertwine your fingers with hers, still cupped around the ball, and say with a genuine smile “you’re my nightlight”.

#alina starkov #Alina starkov x reader #shadow and bone #jessie mei li #shadow and bone cast #darkling x reader #malyen oretsev #mal x reader #general kirigan #kaz brekker #kaz x reader #inej ghafa #jesper fahey #six of crows #matthias helvar #nina zenik

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sery-chan-13 · 3 years

Text

Running Away

Chapter 16 of '100 Promises'

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

Warnings: awkward stuff, smut-ish, swearing

You two had talked about it before. Running away. Going to where no one knew you.

And although you had actually only ran away once, you had many little 'run away' adventures.

When you went to your grandmother's house for the summer, going to school specifically the library, the tree house.

The treehouse was a special place for both of you. You two had planned it together, earned money for it together, but it together. It was something for you two, and you two only.

Which is why when he brought her there, it hurt you so much.

"Gi-Gi! You'll never gue-"

You stopped, looking at the scene on front of you. You hadn't even gotten into the tree house.

His girlfriend, at the time, sitting on his lap, her clothes wrinkled and messily arranged on her body. Her lips had been pressed against his in a rather heated kiss. Both of them were panting, their faces tinted pink. His hands had been wandering her body, and you gasped.

"M... 'm sorry didn't know you were up here," you apologized, climbing back down the ladder.

You ran back to your house. You didn't know why it hurt you so much. Other than the fact he agreed it was supposed to be a place for you two and you two only. Yet here he was. Making out with her in your special place. It made you insecure. It really did. What if the things you two did together turned into the things they did together, leaving you alone?

Hours later, you were curled up in your bed, tears streaming down your face as music played in the background. It was both of your guy's favorite song.

You heard a knock on the glass door, and looked over. Niragi stood out there. He waved, and pointed at the door. It was locked. You wiped the tears from your eyes and made your way over. You unlocked the door, and ran back to your bed. He came in slowly, awkward silence filling the already quiet room. Besides the music lightly playing in the background, no other sound was playing.

"I'm sorry," you apologized. ''But I didn't expect you and your girlfriend to be borderline fucking infront of me when I went up there."

"Its not like that! She's... I mean I'd broken up with her before and I... I don't know. I just assumed that because she'd been up there before it wouldn't be such a big d-"

"I'm sorry what?"

He could sense you were pissed off.

''She's been in our treehouse before? That's our place. Not a place for her to be coming into. She shouldn't even know about it Suguru," you said angrily. He knew he was in the wrong. Its what you had agreed upon. A place for the both of you and not anyone else. You had every right to be mad. "Look, I know I shouldn't have, but it was a few months ago. I didn't know she would want me to get back with her after we broke up. I was just reading, and she came in," he explained, moving closer to you. You looked away, not saying a word.

Not in a 'silent treatment' way, but in a 'im thinking how to respond so it doesn't make us argue way.

''I know that... you didn't have a mal intent when you brought her up... but... it still hurts a bit. But I forgive you. As long as you forgive me for making this a bigger deal than it needed to be. Its just a treehouse after all, isn't it?"

___________

"Let's run away."

That's how the conversation started.

"Suguru, what?" You questioned, wondering if you'd mistaken what he had said. "You heard me. Let's run away. You had bruises on your stomach. I'm assuming from your father. This isn't fair to you. We both get tortured. Let's run away," he repeated. You looked away, before nodding. "But... where would we go? How would we do that?" You asked.

He had always had a plan for this. It was years in the making. But now he didn't just have to worry about himself. He had you. And you were very important to him. The most important thing in his life.

"I'll tell you later. When you're dad goes out to the bar, pack a bag, and run back here to the treehouse. Wait for me, and then I'll tell you," he instructed. You nodded, feeling comforted by him having a plan.

Hours later, you heard you father leave. You grabbed the bag you already packed from in the closet and put on your sweater over your tank top. Your bag contained clothing items and snacks.

You waited to hear his car turn on and leave. You ran to the ladder, climbing down it. You missed the last rung, falling to the floor with a thud. You glared at it. "I'm trying to do something important could you cooperate with me here?" You scolded as you got up. You dusted yourself off, running towards the back door.

You got to the treehouse a few minutes later, and waited.

You heard footsteps running towards the treehouse, and were about to open the hatch and let down the ladder, but your stomach felt uneasy. You slowly crept to the window, and looked out. It was Niragi. You didn't know why you felt so uneasy. Nerves of doing something you could easily get in trouble for?

You opened the hatch, sending the ladder down. He ran towards it, climbing up quickly. He threw his bag into the treehouse, and brought up the ladder. He closed and locked the door, making you worry. "Suguru what's-"

He shush you before you could finish. "Stay quiet. Guys from school found me out and about. They chased me. So were not in the clear," he whispered, panting and trying to catch his breath. Of course they had chased him. Of course the one day you two were trying to go through with a plan they interrupted.

"Its ok. If anything we'll run away some other time."

_____________

"Idontwannalosemyvcardtoaguywhodoesntcareaboutmecanyoutakeit?" You jumbled out. He stared at you weirdly as he couldn't understand your words.

"Do you need some lady things? I have some chocolate in my snack drawer if y-" he started. "No... no, it's embarrassing..." you muttered. "You know I'm willing to talk about or do anything with you," he smiled. "I-i said... I don't wanna lose my v-card to a guy who doesn't care about me... C-can... can you t-take it?" You whispered, your face red. He felt his face get hot. "I-i- um..i-i -i-" he stammered, looking at you. You averted your eyes to the floor.

"I-if you don't w-want to, it's OK I-i just i-i-"

"I-I'll do it."

You looked up at him in shock. "Really?" You asked. "Yeah. Yeah, I... don't have mine anymore... but I-i can help you... if you want," he explained. You were both blushing, and he was still holding arm. "When do... do you-"

"Suguru, (Y/N), I'm back!" You heard his mother shout up the stairs. You heard her walk up the stairs. She knocked on the door, opening it. "Is she staying for dinner? Because your father and I decided to go out for the night. We'll be back in the morning, so I'm going to get ready, and there's money downstairs for pizza," she said. You both looked at each other nodding. "As always-"

"We know mom... we know."

How convenient for both of you.

So you two said you'd go up to the treehouse after his parents left.

"S-suguru... w-what do I do?" You stuttered, sitting on your knees on a bean bag chair. You two had gone up to a tree house you two had built in the woods behind his house. "Depends on what you feel comfortable with. Just... go with it I guess," he said, trying to make sure you were ok. "You lead... you've done this before, haven't you?" You asked. He nodded, and you grabbed his hand tightly. " 'M scared," you whispered. "We don't have to do anything. It's ok," he said. You hugged him tightly, and shook your head. "I-i wanna... it's just... what if it gets weird between us?" You asked. "We've been friends for over 4 years... I don't plan on leaving you," he whispered. "Best friends," you corrected. "Yeah, best friends," he repeated. "I want to do this though... only if you want to," you said. "Tell me where I can touch you for now, and if at any point you want or need to stop, tell me,ok?" He said, rubbing circles into your back. You nodded, and took his hand placing it on your waist.

He blushed as you dragged his other hand to your thigh. "Thats ok... my face, neck, back, and stomach are ok for you to touch for now too," you whispered. He nodded, swallowing harshly.

Honestly he was a bit more scared than you were. He couldn't think of why you wanted him out of all people to have something so special. Not only that, but you'd recently been extremely jumpy to touch. He didn't want to hurt you or make you uncomfortable.

You noticed his hesitation, and pulled him closer. His breath hitched, getting caught in his throat. Your forehead rested against his, as you looked at him for permission. He nodded slightly, bringing you closer. You placed a soft kiss on the corner of his mouth. You lips grazed over his own, looking back at him once more. Now you were hesitating. You kissed him, finally making up your mind. He kissed back after a few seconds, his hands hovering over your body. He didn't know how you wanted to be touched, or if you even wanted to be touched like that right now.

You pulled away with a smile. "Guess its my first everything tonight..." you whispered, grabbing his hands. "That was... your first kiss? Really?" He asked, shocked at the fact you had never been kissed. "Yeah. Its my first and you're also scared... you sure this is ok?" You asked.

He didn't know why he hadn't noticed it back then, but he had never wanted anything more than you. Maybe it was because he was so awkward all those years ago, but how had he never noticed?

He nodded and brought you closer. "If you wanted me to sit in your lap, you could've just said so," you giggled, watching his face turn red. "S-stop teasing!" He shouted, screwing his eyes shut. "You're so cute Suguru,'' you teased, placing a kiss on the tip of his nose. He then brought your lips onto his, kissing you. Your eyes widened in shock before slowly melting into the kiss.

His tongue swiped along your bottom lip, making you shudder. You parted your lips slightly, giving him access to your mouth. You pulled away with a giggle. "That felt weird," you explained. He looked up at you confused. "It tickled kinda.... but I think you're a bit to excited off of just kissing," you teased. He looked away, blushing brightly. ''You sure you're not the-"

You didn't get to finish your sentence as he pushed you down on the beanbag. ''Shut up," he stated, looking down at you. You pouted, trying to sit up. He didn't let you, holding your wrists down. A moment of panic struck you. This wouldn't be like what they had done to you, right?

Apperantly, he had seen the panic in your face, loosening his grip on you. "You're so mean to me," you whispered. "Am not," he defended. You ran your hand through his hair, tugging on it softly. "What do you want?" He asked. "I dunno. My only experience is... books... " you said. "Books? Really? Don't fucking lie to me I've caught you watching-"

"Shut up! I've caught you literally watching porn and j-"

"But it was more awkward with you because you never act interested in sex-"

"I have needsssss- Plus yours was more awkward because you accidentally moaned my name cause I walked in. But we're off topic."

You sat up, telling him to do the same. You sat in lap, and smiled. "I'd... I'd prefer if you didn't pin me down please," you requested, placing your hands on his shoulders. "I can manage not doing that," he said.

You tilted your head, racking your brain to try and figure out what you should do next reminding yourself of your books. "Do you... do you mind if I give you a kiss?" You asked. He looked confused. "You already have. So, yeah," he told you. "Well, it's just that... I don't want to kiss your lips," you explained. "Oh... um... yeah. Please just... don't bite," he asked, his face turning red. "And why not?" You asked with a small laugh. "You know why!" He shouted. "Ok, ok... I do. Just... wanted to have a bit of control over this situation," you mumbled. "I don't... know what makes you feel good, so you'll have to tell me, ok?" He said. You nodded, before kissing his cheek. You went moved, kissing down his jaw line, finally ending up at his neck.

You heard him swallow harshly, and looked up. He had his eyes closed up at the ceiling, and you noticed his hands squeezing at your hips.

"You ok?"

"Yeah... keep going."

You nodded, kissing down his neck, remembering what he told you not to do. You looked back up, seeing his lips were parted slightly. You heard him mumble something, but couldn't hear it all. You heard a couple words, and what you heard made you a bit concerned.

"Suguru... are you.. ok?"

"Why would you ask, of course I am."

"Because you're praying. I've never heard you do that."

It wasn't a complete truth, as you knew his parents were a bit more on the religious side, but you'd never really seen him be religious.

"Suguru 's ok. Just got a bit worried," you said, cupping his face. He looked into your eyes, nodding. "It's a bit of a habit recently... I don't want to talk about it right now," he said before kissing you.

It seemed he wasn't holding back as much now. You kissed back, holding his hand on your waist. His other hand was trying to find something to do, but he didn't know what. You noticed, and grabbed it, intertwining your fingers with his own.

You pulled away, panting softly. You noticed his hands fidgeting with the hem of your sweater. Although it was out of nervousness, you took it as him wanting it off. "Suguru... can I keep my sweater on? For now at least... you can take my shorts off if you want though," you stated. He nodded, but just stared off. "I... are you sure? About me taking them off?" He asked. You nodded, and decided to pulled them off yourself. You leaned off of him, pulling your shorts off, giving him a full view of your panties. You sat up again in his lap, slightly moving your hips. He hissed, making you jump. "Fucking.... don't do that..." he whispered. "Why? Is it because it gets you turned on?" You giggled. His face reddened again. "Well how would you like it if I touched you or rubbed against you there," he muttered in embarrassment. "I think it would feel good," you teased. "Well... can I touch you?" He asked. You nodded, leading his hand down. He stopped once his hand was at your thigh, hesitance written all over his face. You noticed yourself being hesitant as well, and dropped your head on his shoulder, pulling his hand closer. "Please... please touch me there," you whispered. You heard him heave a shaky sigh, as he did what you asked. He softly ran his hand over the fabric of your underwear. You let out a small gasp, burying your face in his neck. He continued, his fingers rubbing into you now, making you grip onto his shoulders tightly. Slight moans fell from your lips as your hips moved against his hand. You heard him moan, and looked up. "You're... rubbing against me... feels good," he murmured. You rolled your hips against his on purpose this time, and heard him whine. "That was... a pretty sound," you stated, looking up at him. He turned bright red. "You're so embarrassing sometimes," he whispered. "I don't want to embarrass you, I just liked it," you said, running your hand through his hair. You felt his hand play with the waistband of your underwear. "Take em off.... but only if you take stuff off too," you said, messing with the drawstring of his hoodie. "If your sweater stays on, so does my hoodie, yeah?" He asked, looking up at you. You nodded, getting off of him. He began to pull down his pants and boxers as you pulled your panties down. He stared, watching as you slightly covered yourself up.

"Seems like you're excited."

"(Y-Y/N)! You can't just say stuff like... that."

"I can. And I will. Plus if we're both embarrassed then we're even."

"Even? Even for what?"

"Nothing. Just ignore that."

You got onto his lap once more, grabbing his hand, pulling it down again.

"A-are you-" he stammered, lightly pulling his hand away. "I'm sure if you're sure. I only want to do this if you do," you reassured. He grabbed your hand, kissing the back of it. "I'm ready if you are."

__________________

"Suguru! We should put glow in the dark starts on the ceiling of the tree house!" You exclaimed happily. He laughed and nodded.

Later that night, you escaped out to the treehouse.

When you entered, you saw the soft green glow of lights.

"Oh, you're here! Look at what I did!" He explained, grabbing both of your hands, spinning the both of you around. The ceiling was swimming in glow in the dark stars and planets. A small smile started to build on your face.

"Did you really do this for me?" You asked as you stopped spinning. He smiled with a nod.

"Of course I did. Why wouldn't I?" He questioned. You hugged him tightly.

"I dunno... but thank you. This is the nicest thing anyone has done for me in years," you muttered.

Later that night, you were laying on the floor, under the blankets with him, staring up at the ceiling. Nothing but peace and quiet. Calm.

_______________________

You woke up with a start, looking around. You couldn't remember what you were dreaming about, or what happened. Chishiya groaned, grabbing your hand. "Back to bed..." he said, his voice tired and raspy from just waking up. You apologized, laying back down, falling right back asleep.

HA-

Don't worry the smut will be continued in a later chapter 😉

... totally didn't run out of ideas-

#alice in borderland #niragi #×reader #fluff #angst #chishiya #100 Promises #Im kinda back!#Sorry for taking so long my dear readers life hit me like a goddamn semi truck

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themagicalmysticalboy · 3 years

Note

Iveneverrequestedanaskbeforesryifimlikeawkward

Anyways can you write a mclennon and theres a thunderstorm or something and the power goes out and one if them gets all scared and clingy to the other and they’re scared and it ends with cuddles? I love your writing btw <33

a/n: ah! thank you so much! hope you like this one too! ended up being a lot longer than i thought it would lol

Going to Kansas City...

Going to Get My Baby Back Home

The last note of Long Tall Sally tore from Paul’s throat and blasted into the exuberant crowd as the concert came to an end. He was smiling like mad as he looked between his bandmates and the people in the stadium. It was strange to not see every seat full but he didn’t care at all. There was too much adrenaline coursing through him to give it a second thought. He was bouncing on the balls of his feet as he sent a few thank you’s into the mic.

John held his shoulder and waved with him before going towards the speakers so they could prop their instruments up with the other equipment. “Fucking fantastic,” he yelled close to Paul’s ear.

“Aye, Eppy looks satisfied,” Paul yelled back and nodded to just off the stage where their manager stood.

With another smile and a pat on the shoulder, they both broke into a trot to the locker rooms, George and Ringo on their heels. Paul was still waving the whole way until they descended into the tunnel. Cool air hit his face like a blessing from above. They slowed to a slow stride to catch their breath.

Everyone was soaked in sweat and panting. They had every right to be dead tired but the electricity of the performance wasn’t about to wear off. Paul surmised they had a good 30 minutes before they were absolutely dead on their feet.

“Was weird hearing our own music. ‘Bout forgot what we sounded like,” George said as he wiped at his forehead with his sleeve.

“Small crowd and we still got paid out the arse for it. Screw a day off.”

Paul thought a day off still would have been nice. With it raining like it was when they landed, though, there wouldn’t have been much to do. Might as well make some more money. Maybe that’s why the crowd was so small - all that rain and wind kept people from arriving. It didn’t really matter -money wise- if 30,000 or 10 people came, though. The deal was at a set rate and they got paid the same either way.

“Glad to hear it was worth it, John.”

Paul turned on his heels, walking backward, to find Brian trailing behind. “Aren’t you glad we kept saying no? Got us far.”

“We should start refusing things more often,” Ringo chimed in, tapping the air with his drumsticks.

“All fab and gear and whatever,” George came up and grabbed Paul, jumping to put all his weight on Paul’s shoulders before turning him around and pushing him forward. “but let's get the hell out of these clothes and get some kip.”

There was a general agreement between laughs and jests. They set off to the dressing room while Brian went to ready their ride to the hotel. When they finally found the room in the maze of a stadium, the airconditioning was even better than in the hallways. A fan in the corner hit them as they walked in and sent Paul’s hair on end. He collapsed into a chair at the first opportunity and yanked off his boots, not bothering to unzip them. Taking the boots to the clothes rack, he undressed and hung his outfit up accordingly. When he was happily redressed in a t-shirt and jeans, he looked on at the mess John and George were creating.

George’s clothes were on the floor, surrounding a chair that managed to not so much as catch a sock. Whereas John’s clothes trailed from the door to the vanity. He was mostly undressed, wearing only unbuttoned pants and a tie, as he searched for his clothes. Paul eyed him indulgently as he moved about the room, feeling something between annoyed and pleased. At least Ringo had made a good faith attempt, clothes messily placed on their hangers with boots sat beside Paul’s.

Paul marched over and untied the tie around his neck. “How did you even manage that?”

“I like to keep a mystery.” John’s eyes were soft and dream-like.

“Save it for later, you two,” George exclaimed and made a fake vomiting sound.

Rolling his eyes, Paul leaned into John and picked up his discarded suit jacket, revealing John’s pile of plain clothes. “Looking for these?”

John laughed mockingly and snatched up his jumper. He had just pulled the thing on when the lights flickered out. The breath of the building cut out before wheezing back to life and illuminating the room again. John let out a low woah as they all eyed the ceiling.

“Mal blow a fuse unplugging the speaker,” Ringo joked, his gaze still fixed on the lights.

They stood there for a moment longer before going back to getting dressed and lounging. John got himself together and dressed rather quickly. Paul watched him closely but didn’t question him. When George and Ringo took a seat on either side of Paul, John was pacing the floor and tapping his thighs.

“I’m going to look for Brian. He’s taking too long.”

Paul stood. “John,” But he was gone before any protest could be made. “Great. I’ll go and get him.”

George propped his feet up on the table, taking one of Ringo’s drumsticks to spin between his fingers. “He’ll be alright. Maybe he’ll even get Eppy to tell us what’s going on.”

Paul weighed his options and dropped into the seat at the vanity. “Would be nice to know what’s keeping him.” Tapping at the maroon-painted wood, he noticed John’s glasses wrapped up in his tie. Paul held them up, pulling the tie off. “He’s got his contacts in, hasn’t he?”

“Took ‘em out, actually.”

“The git. He’ll never find his way back here if he doesn’t run into Brian.”

“Probably couldn’t find his way back with the specs. They’ll find each other though.”

Ignoring the advice, Paul was half out of his seat when a nerve-rattling bang sent him falling back. His breath hitched in his throat, his muscles tense and pulling against his skin. Ringo and George were just as stunned, leaning forward on the couch. Slowly, as if they might evoke more banging if they made a sound, the three walked to the door. Howling screams echoed outside, becoming more clear as Ringo placed his hand on the knob. When he opened it, a gust of warm and humid wind rushed into the room. The low howling wind whistled up in pitch.

There was a small set of stairs to their left that led to double doors. They were flung apart like unfolded lungs, rushing all its oxygen into the building. Outside, the parking lot was shrouded in a haze of heavy rain that made the street lights radiate a halo’s glow. They, consequently, did nothing in the way of providing actual visibility.

“That’s probably not very good.”

The lights flickered off and on again, making Paul grip the back of Ringo’s shirt. “No. Probably not.” His mind was a racehorse running through a blank expanse.

George pulled him back into the room. “Come on before we get sucked out the door.”

Steadying himself and pulling back the reins on his mind, he pointed to the other two. “I’m going to get John. Stay here in case Brian comes ‘round.”

“Can’t recall a single time when splitting up has been a good idea,” George said with a raised brow.

“Well, John’s already gone and done it. I’ll make it an even split at the least.”

No further argument was made and Paul went into the hall to find a few staff members going towards the open door. They took no notice as he went the opposite way. The once comforting cool of the hallway moved from humid stuffiness to icey cold in a matter of a few steps. He turned at the first opportunity and heard both doors close with a clank. At least that was handled.

Once he knew he was on the path to where they had originally come into the stadium, he called out, “John! You around?” There was no reply. Down the next corridor, there was another employee sliding a bolt into place at the exit doors. They rushed off, leaving Paul alone. He called out for John again.

“How the hell did I get back here?” John was standing behind Paul, one hand on his head, the other on his lower back. “I went in a circle…”

“These might have helped.” Paul brought over the glasses and slid them on John before grabbing his shoulders. “Better?”

John stuck his tongue out and shook off Paul’s hands.

“Aye, welcome. Now come on. Eppy’s probably this way.” The doors at the far end of the hallway banged against their bolts, rattling from the forceful wind that pushed through the cracks. “Let's pick up the pace, yeah?”

John only nodded, speed walking ahead while Paul struggled to keep up. He was a good 6 feet in the lead when the lights cut.

“Fucking hell.” Paul was getting tired of this finicky electricity.

“Paul?”

“Yeah. Haven’t disappeared.” He might as well have. The dark that blanketed the building was dense and consuming. He had no way to see anything at all.

“Where are you?”

“I’ve got my arms out. Just walk back towards me.” Having the clack of their boot heels would have been nice at the moment. Their sneakers were far too quiet to make out the location by. Regardless, John’s strong grip wrapped Paul’s bicep. “There we- oh-”

John’s arms wrapped underneath Paul’s, pulling them together by the shoulder blades. His head was buried into the crook of Paul’s neck. More banging echoed somewhere in the distance and John held tighter.

“Hey,” he gently rubbed circles over John’s back. “We’re alright, y’know.”

“I don’t like this.” John shook his head against Paul, trembling in his arms. His heartbeat was wild in his chest, thumping against his ribs so forcefully that Paul could feel it too. He had seen John like this before but only a handful of times. It sent Paul’s alarm bells off. “Paul, I can’t- I-”

“Okay… Okay. Let's sit, then.” They parted briefly and Paul led him to a wall so they could slide to the floor. “Come here.” John pressed against him, head on his shoulder and hand in hand.

Without the hum of electricity, the wind completely filled the deafening silence, only interrupted by the bang of doors and distant footsteps from the level above. Though that did let them know other people were somewhere, it gave an already ominous atmosphere that last nudged into horror. Paul might have been scared himself but he couldn’t think of anything other than John’s panicked breathing and shaking hand.

“I’ve got you, okay? We’re not going anywhere, neither of us.” John didn’t respond. “You need to breathe, love. Take a deep breath for me, please.” They breathed together - slow inhale and even slower exhale - over and over. “That’s good.”

He was shaking less when he fell into Paul. “Shouldn’t there be backup lights?”

Paul chuckled softly. “You’d really think.”

“You think it’s a tornado? Mal said this was part of Tornado Valley… Or was it Alley?”

“Tornado Alley? Only in America, I swear.” His fingers were still tangled in John’s hair, lightly massaging his scalp. “They got a state-designated for hurricanes too?”

“Actually, I think they do. Maybe Florida.”

Paul let out a wholehearted laugh. John slowly worked his way into one too. “Can’t wait to be back in England. I’ll take rain and no sun every day over whatever this all is.”

“Yeah…” Another clatter of metal echoed from the dark and John tensed.

Paul gave a reassuring squeeze of his hand. “And we will get back. In one piece too. Storms can’t stick around forever.”

They settled into a mutual silence as the aches of sleep crept into their bones. John ran a hand up and down Paul’s thigh and Paul held his head against his shoulder. They both jolted every now and again but were fairly still for the most part. Any footfall that was above them stopped some time ago. At least that had calmed John’s nerves a bit further. Though Paul found it more frightening now that they were gone - not that he’d dare to voice that.

He was too tired to be scared anyway. The nonstop concerts and traveling exacerbated the stress of all of this and left him numb. It was safe to be numb now. John felt slack against his shoulder, finally at peace. A weird tranquility slipped through his skin and sunk into his bones. The darkness deepened as his eyes fluttered shut.

“What are you doing on the floor?” A drawled voice drifted into his dream. “Paul.”

He grumbled and opened his eyes, only to be attacked by searing light. He sucked in a pained breath and shielded his eyes to look for the source of the voice. Squinting, he could make out George coming down the hall. He blinked away the sting and stretched a bit. John’s head was on his lap, still fast asleep.

“Morning,” he mumbled on instinct, rubbing any leftover sleep from his eyes. “John, love. Wake up.”

“Come on before someone sees you both all snuggled up like.”

John copied Paul’s wake routine down to the “Morning.”

“Yeah, yeah. Morning, morning.”

After some much-needed stretching, George hauled John to his feet though it was more for show than actual help. Paul followed, leaning on the wall as pins pricked at his sleeping legs. “How long have we been gone.”

George was taking the lead. He turned his head back to say, “Well, it’s past midnight. They just got the power on not even 15 minutes ago. I’d say you’ve been missing for three hours.”

Both men only grunted a response, swaying sleepily as they walked.

“Wish it was longer,” John groaned.

“Aye. I’m still wiped.”

“The storms passed enough to get to the hotel. Both of you can get back to your snuggling soon.”

A smile twitched at Paul’s lips. “Good.”

#read on ao3 #johns-diqi #the beatles #paul mccartney #john lennon #george harrison #ringo starr #mclennon #fan fic requests

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descendantofthesparrow · 4 years

Text

Multipart Commission - Harry Hook x Reader - a prince behind the pirate - part 3 - stress

@musicarose

You flourished your hand, ending the signature the paper needed to be approved, “okay my half done” you announced, stretching back in your seat and groaning lightly “alright, i’m gonna get to my dress fitting kay? See you later Ben” he waved you off, intently staring down at the paper he was overviewing.

You ran to Evie’s dorm, smiling as you entered, Mal sitting on her bed wearing her own cotillion dress. “love the dress Mal” you chirped, making her jump and looked to you surprised.

‘oh! Uh thanks,” she muttered distracted, eyes drifting to her mother in the tank.

“just in time (y/n), now here's the form and go get changed so I can make any changes to the size or anything kay?” you nodded and grabbed the light pink dress, going behind her changing setup.

Minutes later you stood on her little platform letting her move your body around and pin the fabric. “so, what do you think” Evie smiled up at you, glancing down you moved your arms around and took a deep breath.

“pretty good! If I could have some gloves that end in a princess point?” Evie beamed and grabbed her measuring tape, grabbing your arm, and started to measure.

“read it fast at lightning speed, remember everything I need” you glanced at Mal, who tossed her spellbook to the side and grabbed a evacuate book, waving her finger around and spelling it.

“Mal please teach me that, It would be so dang helpful for Sundays with my grandma” you laughed, mentally patting yourself on the back as Mal looked to you and gave you a small grin.

“well I think, Mal should give her spellbook to the museum!” Evie grabbed the book, Mal gasping and reaching for it “she doesn’t need it”

“you remember what I was like I couldn't even remember what class I had next without it” Mal whined, reaching for the book.

“I don’t know about you Evie, but I had that book I would use it for the same reasons Mal is using it, it's a lot to go from an isle girl to a lady of the court, there are so many rules and expectations that it's so mentally exhausting keeping up with it all!” you had a habit of talking with your hands so as you ended with your mini-rant you dropped your hands from the air and let them hit your legs.

Mal gave you a grin, the brightest you’ve seen the last couple months, Evie looked from the book to Mal and sighed, placing the book back in Mals lap “I guess you're right, but you have to tell Ben soon, i’m sure he'll understand the pressure you’ve been under to perform”

Mal nodded glumly, picking her book back up and continuing to read. You sighed, glancing at the refined sketch of your dress Evie was shoving in front of you.

“love it Evie! If its no trouble, maybe some more lilac?” Evie smiled and shook her head.

“no problem at all, you, Mal, and Chad are the only ones not done yet, I already finished the others and Jane and Lonnie had their last fittings yesterday” she chirped, grabbing a marker and opening it with her teeth, scribbling in some more lilac in your dress.

“Alright then, I have to get back to my dorm, I have some stuff on my computer that I need to send out Jane” Evie nodded and helped you off the pedestal, and unpinned you.

Three minutes later you left for your dorm, humming your mother's song as you did.

-I know you I walked with you once upon a dream- you smiled as you thought of the black-haired dream boy with the accent.

-I know you~ the gleam in your eyes is so familiar a gleam- you stepped into your room and closed the door behind you, kicking off your shoes and collapsing into your desk chair.

“Alright, let's get to work” you muttered to yourself, clicking on your tablet and refining some décor sketches.

Harry pouted as Gil wiggled his brows at him “the dream girl again huh~” he laughed as harry pulled the napkin away, the form of the dream girl messily sketched on to the dark brown napkin.

“shut up” he growled, quickly punching Gil in the arm, causing the teen to yelp and wince as Harry's rings slightly cut into his skin.

“oww!” Gil whined, pouting as harry snickered and stuffed the drawing of dream girl in his pocket.

Uma came out of the kitchen and tossed tray in front off harry, glaring at the tv as she turned, she growled and hit Harry's arm, he lifted his arm allowing Uma to grab one of the crab patties and chuck it at the tv.

“ugh!” harry chuckled as she flicked the residue off her hand and leaned on the table, a nasty look on her face.

“What a poser” harry laughed and glanced at the tv.

“traitor!” Uma glanced around, raising her brow at the crew

“Hello?!” the crew roared, tossing some of their food at the tv.

Harry ducked slightly, a small grin on his lips. “oh I would love to wipe the smiles off their faces” he wiped some mayo from the screen, sticking his finger in his mouth to lick it off “yeh know what I mean?”

“Gil!” he jumped slightly, glancing at Uma, a couple of fries hanging out of his mouth “wanna quit chocking down yolks and get with the program?!”

He swallowed down and gave a nervously smile “yeah what they said?!” Uma rolled her eyes and glared at nothing in front of her.

“that little traitor, who left us in the dirt!”

“and turned her back on evil” harry cooed, lifting a fry and smirking.

“who said you weren’t big or bad enough to join her gang!” the crew went silent, harry sighing from Gil's lack of timing. “ back when we were kids….what? You remember she called her shrimpy and the name just kinda-“ gil caught Harry's eyes, which were yelling at him to shut up “-stuck?” he ended quietly, looking back down at his food.

“that snooty little witch” Uma muttered to him, looking up at him and sneering at the tv “who took everything she wanted and left me nothing”

“no, she left you that sandbox and said that you could-“ Uma slammed her hand on the table, giving a “nice” smile to Gil.

“I need you! To stop talking~” she purred, nodding as Gil shrunk into himself.

“look” Harry pushed his tray away, gesturing out to the isle “we have her turf now, they can stay in boradon-“ Uma groaned and smacked his arm.

“harry that’s her turf now!” she turned off the tv, smacking her hands on the table and leaning back with her heels “and I want it too, we should not be getting her leftovers!”

She turned and smirked at Harry, wrapping her arm around his shoulder “son of hook” she grabbed Gil and pulled him into her side “son of Gaston and me! Most of all daughter of Ursula!” she pushed Gil back to his food and turned to harry.

“what's my name?” harry dropped to a kneeling position, taking off his hat and putting it to his chest. “Uma~” she turned to Gil and repeated.

‘what's my name?”

“oh um, Uma?”

She grinned and turned to the crew. “what's my name!?”

“UMA!” satisfied, Uma nodded, eye-catching the dirty white napkin in Harry's pocket, she smirked and pulled it out, dangling it in front of harry. His eyes widened and he scrambled to grab it.

“Uma!?!” she cackled and looked at the drawing, her eyes softening slightly.

“any new things about dream girl?”

Harry sighed and shook his head “not even a smidge, she was talking about planning about some important event and how shes stressed about it n stuff” Uma stared blankly at him. “wha?”

“you dolt she's planning cotillion, your dream girl is in Auradon!” harry stopped….that made a lot of sense?

Harry groaned and facepalmed “im so stupid”

“you are” Uma stuffed the drawing back in Harry's pocket and walked around the table to grab orders, “tell ya what when we take over she can be your little pet kay?”

Harry shrugged, that was the best he could get in a villain ruled world so he would take it.

It meant that no one else would touch his dream girl at least.

You sent the last piece to Jane, sighing and leaning back in your chair, the door suddenly slamming open, you flinched and sat up, Mal rushing in and slamming the door behind her, the muffled voices of the press behind the now-closed door.

She quickly locked it and sighed, starting to walk around the room and breathing heavily. “Mal!” you stood and walked in front of you, holding out your hands. She reached out and grabbed them, holding onto them tightly as she closed her eyes and tried to calm down.

Her eyes flashed open and glowed, her hair flying around slightly and her grip tightening on your hands. “okay okay breathe, breath, it’s a panic attack mal, it'll pass”

With your help Mal managed to calm down, you letting her collapse against your bed, she buried her face in her hands, letting loose a sob. “why can't they just leave me alone for five minutes!!” she screamed.

You sighed and kneeled in front of her, gently prying her hands away, frowning as you saw her red eyes. “I know, I know, it's hard. The press doesn’t really get boundaries, and hardly understand the unspoken rule of ‘don’t harass a minor’ but ya know”

“how do you deal with it” she muttered, sniffing slightly and wiping her cheeks.

“uh, ignore them the best I can and if not smile and wave? Sorry, but i’m no help with it” you smiled, brushing her blonde hair back. “its, unfortunately, something all us royals deal with, trust me, we all hate it, just some of us are better at hiding it”

Mal laughed, taking one more deep breath and sighing “okay, um, I should probably get back to my dorm room now, thanks (y/n)”

You grinned and helped her stand up “no problem”

Mal looked at the window and raised her brow, which you shrugged at “you wouldn’t be the first to sneak out the window to get away from the press” you snickered, watching as Mal just went ahead and climbed out your window.

“see you tomorrow Mal!” she smiled back at you and nodded.

“see you tomorrow” she repeated, hopping out of your window and walking across the ledge to get down easier.

You closed the window and decided to get ready for bed.

Only two more days to cotillion.

--end of part 3--

permtaglist

@queer-cosette

@lunanight2012

@sephiralorange

@daughter-of-the-stars11

@random-thoughts-003

@amorathegamingkitsune

@rintheemolion

taglist for pbtp

@thecaptainsgingersnap

@thebookwormfairy

#descendants #Descendents #disney descendants #harry hook #harry hook descendants #harry hook x reader #harry hook imagine #commission work #writing commission

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shattersstar · 4 years

Note

Hii!! may I request a #10 and #13 from the kisses list for Jason Todd x reader? Have a great day!!💞💞

staring at the other’s lips, trying not to kiss them, before giving in + following the kiss with a series of kisses down the neck + jason todd

a/n: i was listening to some of the Arkham audio and some of its nuances leaked into this.

—

Someone on high had it out for you, making you stumble over your words halfway through a conversation and nearly choke on your drink. The man who had been trying his hardest to elicit any emotional response out of your polite declines, to his forward suggestions, was just as alarmed as you. Although for completely different reasons. He stood by as you handed him off your drink and hurried away into the crowd, eyes searching for those eyes you hadn’t seen in weeks. His eyes were the cold kind, flecked with yellow streaks that give them some warmth that would be missed at first glance. As you searched for his face, a fleeting thought of how well you knew it ran through your brain, from the bump of his off centred nose to the scar the tapered through his upper lip as well as the other scar that cut through his eyebrow, the uneven shape of his eyes which was amplified by the broken brow bone. And of course the smile, forever lopsided and conniving. Each detail that painted his face was infuriating.

Which you felt tenfold when Jason flashed that grin from across the room.

You stopped in your tracks, not even bothering to paint a smile on your own face once you locked eyes. You weaved through party goers, breaking through the crowd and ducking down a hallway he turned into. Your shoes clacked against the sleek floors, the sound halting abruptly once you turned a corner and there he stood, arms loosely crossed and slumping against the wall. “You’ve got to be kidding me.” You huffed, slouching on the wall across from Jason with a cold gaze.

“Nice to see you too.”

“Don’t give me that shit, what are you doing here?”

“I was invited.”

“Don’t lie to me either.”

“I’m not.”

“I sent out the invitations, you didn’t get one.” You snapped, mimicking his body language as you crossed your arms over your chest. Jason raised his brows nodded with a certain wickedness.

“I heard you sent them, I wondered if mine just got lost in the mail, but you cleared that up.”

You let your eyes fall closed, guilt bubbling low in your throat, “Jay, I’m sorry, but could you really blame me? You and Bruce aren’t even just bad terms, you’re not even on terms, you’re just…”

“Bad?” He filled in, gaze flickering briefly away.

“No, that’s not what I meant,” You sighed, cracking your knuckles and taking another deep breath, “Jason, it’s his birthday so if you’re gonna mad than be mad tomorrow at least? The last few weeks haven’t been easy on anyone.”

“What about you?” He asked low, pushing off the wall. You straightened up and eyed him as he loomed over the halfway point.

“What about me?”

“How have you been?”

You were silent for a moment, taken aback by the memory of how soft Jason could be. How he tender his hands were when they slid up your sides, or how he’d nudge his nose along your jawline when he wanted your attention, how his eyes always were so torn, but somehow let you understand so much. “I’ve been fine, planning the party kept me busy.” You explained petulantly.

“You were staying at the manor?”

“Yeah, it was just easier than having to call Alfred all the time.”

“I guessed that.”

“You came by then I guess? The apartment?” You were so hyper aware of his movements, of how he shifted closer with each word.

“Once, Mal told me you were staying at a friends.” You nodded at his words, relaxing your shoulders you hadn’t realized were so tense as his fingers tentatively skimmed over the back of your hand.

“I’m sorry about the invite.” You pulled your hand away, looking up at him with as much confidence you could muster.

“I don’t care about that.” He shrugged off, still standing toe to toe.

“Then why are you here? If not Bruce, or the invite, then what Jay?”

“Because you weren’t home.”Jason stated, voice faintly watery as he sniffled and shifted his weight. You looked up at him, silent, lips parted and heart pounding in your ears. You let out a shaky breath, watching as his eyes dropped from yours to your lips. You struggled to find the words when suddenly his hands jumped to the sides of your face, mouth crashing into yours. You gasped, but let all tension melt in your body as the heat of his mouth met yours. Your teeth clashed and lips met messily, hands grasping at the fabric of his suit jacket. He pushed himself against you, lips leaving yours. He watched as your eyes fluttered open, a grin pulling at your lips despite your wishes. His thumb brushed over your bottom lip, tilting your head back. Jason dropped a kiss on the corner of your mouth, lips moving to your jaw, and tongue swiping over your pulse point. You nearly jolted, warm, open mouth kisses trailing down your neck and collarbone.

He got to your shoulder, playfully biting into the exposed skin, and you let your hands wind around his shoulders. Jason pressed a kiss to the spot and dropped his cheek against there. His hands had made their way torso, pulling you away from the wall with his cool hands splayed on your back. You let your fingers wind their way into his hair, swaying ever so softly to the distant music of the band. You let yourself hold him, let yourself relish in the softhearted air that rarely hung over him. And although you were sure of absolutely nothing between the two of you, or how you were going to handle the rest of the night, all you wanted to do was hold him, let him relish in what Jason had found home in; who he had found home in.

#this is so late omg #jason todd x reader #jason todd imagine #red hood x reader #red hood imagine #dc x reader #dc imagine #dc #writing

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themusicplayedherlife · 4 years

Text

Of Warmth and Growth

pairing: dick grayson x f!reader characters: reader, the team, dick grayson word count: 7.7k+ warnings: angst, self doubt, and boat load of fluff summary: dealing with a broken heart isn’t easy, but your friend megan is hoping to get you out of that fink by inviting you to her holiday party where you meet someone that might help you move on. a/n: there’s a whole story behind this--originally this was started as a requested oneshot, but i couldn’t bring myself to finish it, so i revamped it and wrote a different story that i posted some time ago. fast forward to november, i made it my goal to finish this before the new year, and i was so close, too, but family took priority. there might also be a disconnect, but I really tried smoothing it over, hopefully I did well. anyway, better late than never, though?

Happy Harbour

December 7, 2019

“Sometimes it’s very hard to move on, but once you move on, you’ll realize it was the best decision you’ve ever made. You’ll see.”

You want to laugh bitterly at Megan’s words, but her sympathetic smile and warm gaze are holding you back from doing so. She’s only trying to help, you’re reminded by your conscious as she continues to spew words of healing and bullshit. Utter bullshit.

Your bitterness wins and you say, “I know,” wanting nothing more than for her to shut up.

Her smile turns sheepish and she pats your hand affectionately before excusing herself to get more coffee, or to get away from you. You wouldn’t blame her if it was the latter, you haven’t exactly been good company to keep around since your break up.

Sighing, your eyes trail to the world on the other side of the small cafe’s window. It’s bustling and full of people with shopping bags, all of them preparing for the holidays. It really is a different world outside, you muse. Everything inside the coffee shop is warmer and cozier—quieter compared to the outside. It almost, almost makes you forget about your broken heart that was ripped and stomped on by the person you thought loved and cared for you, things that you still, unfortunately, feel for them.

Your red-haired friend comes back with two styrofoam cups instead of one, and she sets one down in front of you, taking her seat across from you once more. “I got you another earl grey.”

You pick up the warm styrofoam, enjoying the heat against your palm. “Thank you.”

Megan doesn’t say anything for once, instead she watches the world with you, letting only the soft jazz of the cafe to envelop you. You can tell she’s going over something in her mind, she’s never this quiet unless she’s thinking, and that’s—usually—never a good thing, at least not when it pertains to you.

It’s not until you’re halfway done with your drink that she finally speaks, having grown restless with her thinking. She’s looking at you, her eyes narrowed and a little shaky, never really making contact with your own, but still facing your direction. “Sooo, I was thinking,” she drawls, “Conner and I are inviting some of our old friends over for a little get together this weekend and I thought, hey, maybe I can convince my best friend in the whole universe to finally meet my other friends, you know, I want us all to be friends and—“

“You’re rambling.”

“Right; sorry. It’s not going to be a huge thing, just a few of us watching crappy movies and drinking spiked eggnog, maybe play some games or something.” She reaches for your hand holding your drink and finally meets your eyes. “And I really want you to be there. What do you say, huh?”

“Megan,” you start warningly.

She raises a hand as a peace sign. “I know, I know! You said you wanted to keep a low profile this holiday season, but I really want to introduce you. They’re really nice people, a little odd, but so am I and you’re still my friend!”

You purse your lips, mulling over the idea. “Are the girls going to be there?”

“Yes! Well, Karen will be, I’m not sure about Wendy, yet. Should probably ask her tonight.”

Again, you think it over. Not only will you be in a small, confined space with a lot of people (she might have said it wasn’t going to be huge, but you and her have different definitions for small and huge), you’re going to be stuck in a confined space with strangers. It doesn’t sound very pleasing, but then again, you haven’t been very pleasant and there’s no denying that you always dodged her past intents to get you and her friends to hang out, and yet, she’s still here, trying to cheer you up.

You owe it to her.

“Okay, I’ll go.” She immediately squeals. Loudly. Blushing, you look around the cafe, and just as you feared, everyone in the small cafe is looking at you. You sigh, lifting a hand to stop her from over exerting herself—and from embarrassing you any further. “Just don’t expect me to bring anything.”

“That’s fine! That’s fine! As long as you bring yourself, I’m content.”

You’re going to regret it, you just know it.

Happy Harbour

December 14, 2019

You tug at the hem of your outfit, uncomfortable. You could hear the loud laughter of the people inside accompanied by the soft hum of Megan’s holiday playlist. In your hand is a Tupperware full of brigadeiro, a Brazilian dessert your grandma used to make for the holidays before she completely quit eating sweet things (in front of your mom anyway).

Fingers tighten around the container. Maybe you should go... You could always deal with an angry Megan later.

“Are you going to go in or are you just going to stare at the wreath all night?” A deep, amused voice registers in your mind and your body jerks in response, almost making you drop the Tupperware if it weren’t for the steady hand holding you against their strong, chest. “Whoa, there!” he exclaims, warm air fanning over your neck. “You all right?”

He doesn’t allow you to pull away until he steadies you, making sure you’re upright before letting you go. “Yeah, I’m fine,” you breathe out. “Thank you.”

He chuckles and you whirl around to meet your assailant and savior—and holy fuck is he gorgeous. They were gorgeous, too, but in that average kind of way. Nothing about them stood out to people, but to you? They were the most beautiful person you had ever seen. But this man in front of you, you had to be stupid not to notice how gorgeous he is. Striking blue eyes peering into you, a mischievous glint in them and matched by the lopsided smirk adorning his face; unruly black locks in waves and falling to one side as he runs his fingers through his hair. There’s something distinctly boyish and alluring about him that it renders you speechless.

“Megan never told me she had such a gorgeous friend,” he suddenly says. Or maybe not so suddenly because you’re sure his mouth had been moving before you allowed yourself to fall under his spell.

Hold on.

Wait a second.

Gorgeous?

Did he really just call you gorgeous, too?

Your throat closes and your eyes widen, hopefully not comically or at all because holy shit. A really gorgeous man just called you gorgeous. The last person to ever compliment was your mom. But she’s your mom. She’s supposed to think you’re pretty good looking. And before that it was them. And realizing it now, they probably never even meant it. So this? This is new and weird and what the fuck are you supposed to say to something like that to someone like him. “I—“

A draft of air hits your back as the door is swung open behind you. The Christmas music that Megan has been preparing since June is louder than before without the door closed.

“You’re here,” she squeals, wrapping her arms from behind you, her chin settling on your shoulder. “I’m so happy you came!” She kisses your cheek messily and something sweet and alcoholic fills your nostrils. “And you brought something!”

“Yeah, yeah! Don’t make it a thing.” You laugh, pulling away as she makes a show of having to let you go. “How much eggnog have you had?”

“Not too much.” Her eyes turn to the other guest and her eyes brighten. “Dick!” Dick? What kind of name is Dick? Was his mom angry at his dad? Noticing your stare, he smiles down at you, amusement never leaving his face before he turns to Megan. “You’re here! Wally and the others are already here.” She moves away from the door to let you both in.

Dick gestures to the inside of her apartment. “After you.”

Blinking owlishly, you thank him and enter the loud apartment full of people you don’t recognize—well, mostly of people you don’t recognize. There’s Karen and Mal by the Christmas tree talking to a redhead and a blonde, who Dick makes his way over to after excusing himself. Wendy is with Marvin by the snack table, the two arguing—really it's Marvin arguing—about which dessert is the best for the holidays, and a few other really gorgeous and fit people. Why are all of her friends ridiculously good looking?

“You okay?” Megan asks, her hand settling on your shoulder and squeezing lightly.

Your head swivels in her direction. “What?”

“You were frowning,” she says softly. “Hey, if I forced you to be here—“

“No,” you interrupt her quickly. “No, I’m glad you invited me, I just—I’ll be okay. I promise. You were right about me having to move on. I can’t avoid society forever because of a broken heart. I just need to get used to… this,” you say, moving your eyes around the party of people that seemed to already be coupled off.

She smiles gently but doesn’t seem all that convinced. “I’m right here if you need me, okay?” She takes the Tupperware from your hands. “Come on, let's say hi to everyone.” When you bristle, as you take off your coat, she laughs. “In moderation.”

An hour into the party and you’ve already become acquainted with mostly everyone at the party. You meet Wally and Artemis, the couple who were with Karen and Mal when you first arrived; Raquel and her baby boy, Amistad. Cassie and Tim; Jaime and Bart; Gar and some really weird guy who keeps glaring at Conner; Kaldur, who looks strangely familiar—and only smiles when you mention it before being pulled away by Megan—and Barbara, who eyes you momentarily before flashing you a warm smile. She’s a little intimidating, if you’re being honest.

There are still a few more people you have yet to meet, but you seriously need a break, and you say as much to Megan.

“You said a little party,” you say accusingly, as if you hadn’t known this was her definition of small.

She laughs, her arm hooked around yours as she pulls you towards the spread of food and drinks. “It is little!” She lets go of you, opens the treats you made and places them between all the others. She then grabs a clean cup to fill it with eggnog before handing it to you. “Here! Conner and I made it, so it might not be… good.”

You take a tentative sip of the thick liquid made out of egg and spices and doused with alcohol and holy fuck do you regret it. “You and Conner made this?” you sputter, the taste of bourbon lingering strongly on your tongue.

She pouts. “The recipe called for a ton of bourbon to counteract the sweetness!”

You pull the cup away and eye the liquid with scrutiny. “Did you put a whole bottle of Bourbon from Costco in here?”

“Yes?” she answers, a little unsure. “Probably. I don’t actually remember.”

Conner comes up from behind her and wraps his arms around her waist. “Enjoying yourselves?”

She tilts her head to kiss him on his cheek continuously and smiles. “Always.”

You avert your gaze.

“It’s good to see you again,” Conner addresses you after they’ve had their fill of small pecks. Honestly, you don’t blame them for being so affectionate and in love. It wasn’t that long ago that the two finally decided to give each other another chance after a falling out that Megan still doesn’t want to talk about. And again, you don’t blame her. You don’t want to talk about the reason why you and your ex broke up either, let alone think about it.

You hum and reluctantly move your gaze back to their interlocked embrace. You manage a smile. “Same to you. Been a while hasn’t it?”

Before he can reply, Gar interrupts with a call of their names. He’s standing near the fireplace with Bart, leaning over something. “Come check this out!”

Megan wiggles out of Conner’s hold and instead grabs his hand to lead him towards the boys. “Don’t go anywhere!”

Conner flashes an exasperated glance at you over his shoulder, which you return, before he wraps his arms around Megan again—the two laughing and joking about who knows what as they close the distance between them and the boys.

Sighing, you take another sip of the eggnog and your face scrunches in response to the liquid coating your tongue. “Bleh.”

“Fell victim to the spiked eggnog, I see,” a voice cuts through your thoughts as you wipe your mouth with the back of your hand.

Eyes snap up to meet the familiar, amused gaze of Dick. “Uh, yeah.”

He offers you a different mug and you eye it suspiciously. He chuckles. “It’s just apple cider, I promise.”

You reluctantly relent, taking the mug he offers as he takes the one you had been drinking. You take a sip, and surprisingly enough, it really is apple cider, no alcohol at all. “Oh, god, thank you.”

He flashes you a pearly smile, and takes a sip of the eggnog without grimacing. “So, how did you meet Megan and Conner?”

“Oh, um, from school. We went to the same high school.” He quirks an eyebrow. “I was a year below them, but I became friends with Megan when she joined the cheerleading team. My friendship with Conner just followed naturally after that.”

His eyes brighten, as if what you’re saying is actually interesting. “Really?”

You curl a piece of loose hair behind your ear. “Uh, yeah. What about you? How did you meet them?”

“Oh, through our families,” he supplies, a little detached, as if it weren’t really important. “Most of us met like that.”

You frown, but try to hide it behind the rim of the mug. “Wow. Then you must’ve known Megan for quite some time, then?”

His eyes flicker to your lips and his turn upwards. “Actually, I’ve probably known her for about the same amount of time as you.”

Wait. If that's true…“Does that mean you went to the Halloween disaster of 2016?” You remember Megan telling you she would be inviting her friends to the dance, and you heard that she did. Maybe he was among them?

He snorts. “Is that what they’re calling it?” You nod eagerly, hoping to hear his side of what happened that night.

“No.” You deflate, and he huffs a laugh. “I wasn’t able to go, had plans that night. Did you?”

You pout, the disappointment you felt at missing that night coming to mind. “Unfortunately, no. I was sick, but I heard from Marvin and the others that it was a night to remember.”

You don’t get to ask him more questions because as soon as you open your mouth, the front door opens to reveal a beautiful girl with dark, raven hair in delicate waves and bright blue eyes entering the room. Immediately, everyone (excluding you, Marvin and Wendy—wtf Karen?) recognizes her and greet her with a loud exclaim of her name, “Zatanna!”

Dick turns to you and you already know that he’s about to excuse himself. “Do you mind if—“

You shake your head interrupting him with, “No, no, go ahead.”

Surprisingly, he reaches for your arm and squeezes gently. “I’ll be right back.”

You blink after him and mutter, “Yeah. Okay.”

“Be right back” doesn’t happen. He stays by the pretty girl’s side, the two of them being overly familiar with one another—tight hugs, continuous small touches, long eye contact, leaning against one another. You wouldn’t be surprised if they dated at some point, to be honest; or maybe they are dating—ugh. Why does the thought of it bother you?

“You all right?” Wendy softly asks, her kind eyes full of worry and briefly moving to Karen by the entrance.

What’s that about?

You try to keep from frowning. “I think I just need some fresh air,” you assure her.

“Do you want me to come with you?”

“No, I’ll be fine. I’ll just be out for a moment, besides—“ you flick your eyes to Marvin by the dessert table stuffing his face with walnut bread—“I think you’d better stay to make sure Marvin doesn’t eat all the walnut bread.”

“Oh—damn it, Marvin!” She sighs ready to chastise her boyfriend, but she pauses to look at you. “Let me know if you need anything, okay?”

You hum in agreement and watch as she saunters over to Marvin before turning on your heels and stepping out through the sliding doors leading to the balcony.

The cold winter air bites your skin, your long sleeved turtleneck not enough to combat the cold, but just thinking about going back inside makes you try to suck it up. You cover your mouth with your sleeve as you lean against the railing—Happy Harbor lights glinting brightly in the dark.

Maybe you should leave. You’ve been here a good amount of time to deem acceptable, right? You’ve met some of Megan’s friends and even talked to a few of them for a while, and you didn’t show an ounce of disgruntlement—as far as you know—so you should be good right?

An ache fills your chest, pulsing slowly as you let out a long sigh. God, what happened to you? You weren’t always like this. So closed off and unwilling to spend time with your friends. You’ve practically been unconsciously ignoring Karen and Mal, attaching yourself to Megan when she is alone, or staying with Marvin and Wendy because they act least like a couple compared to your old classmates. And the moment the one person you’ve talked to for an extended period of time at the party joins his pretty friend, you become bitter about it!

You need help.

Something heavy lands on your shoulders and back, strong cologne filling your nostrils and making you jump.

“Woah, easy, it’s just me.”

Startling blue eyes twinkle with mischief and your shoulders drop, heat combatting the cold air. “Anyone ever tell you not to sneak up on people?”

He just grins and settles in the space beside you, eyes sweeping over the town you grew up in. “My job kind of requires that I do.”

You slip your arms through the sleeves of his coat, ignoring the fact that it’s not exactly your size. It’s warm anyway. “Thank you.” You lean forward, tightening the coat to fit you snuggly. “What kind of job requires you to have ninja like stealth?”

He chuckles, meeting your gaze. “I’m an officer at Bludhaven PD, trying to become detective.”

Your eyebrows furrow. “Bludhaven? Really?”

He hums, elbow resting on the railing and cupping his cheek.

“Isn’t that dangerous?” Gotham has its norierty, but so does Bludhaven. It was basically untapped, scandals and crimes hidden behind a veil created by corrupt officials, until a couple of years ago when it all came to light with Nightwing’s arrival.

“Yeah,” he drawls, mulling it over, “but what isn’t? Anything can be dangerous if you think about it.” He leans closer to you. “Where do you work?”

“Happy Harbour Times, Opinions.”

“Then you must have to deal with a lot of angry readers when you write about something they don’t agree with, right? Threats and angry phone calls and letters. Those can be dangerous, too, right?” he asks cheekily.

You laugh, ducking your head. “I guess you’re right.” There’s still no comparing writing articles to police work, no matter how light of a situation Dick is trying to make it. “Why police work, though? It’s not many people’s first choice. Especially in Bludhaven.”

He shrugs. “Always been interested, I guess.” He leans back, hands holding onto the railing and causing his blue cable knit sweater to wrap tightly around his arm muscles. “My guardian…” Now, that’s an interesting choice of words. “He was—is a fan of mysteries.” His voice is far off, stuck in his jar of memories. “When he took me in, we’d used to solve cases together, most of them taking place in Gotham, where I was raised.” He chuckles. “And I guess from there I just… I just decided I wanted to be a cop.”

“I see... And you decided not to become a cop in Gotham?”

“Gotham has good people looking out for her already.”

“She could always use more.” He cracks a smile, blue eyes twinkling with the city lights as they find yours, and you return it shyly. “But I get it. Bludhaven has become yours, in a way. Separate from your… guardian.”

“In a way,” he repeats, and you have to look away from or else your heart will stop. “What about you?”

“What about me?”

He nudged your shoulder with his. “Happy Harbour Times?”

“Ah.” Your breath comes out in a puff, the night air still growing colder by the hour, but you don’t mind it. Dick doesn’t seem to mind either. “Well, when I was a kid, my third grade teacher told my parents I was a really good writer. So, they got me into workshops and short story competitions,” you recall, remembering the constant competitions your parents would sign you up for without your knowledge sometimes. They did it with good intentions, hoping to help hone your skill, but it was too much sometimes. “Truth is, I hated it. Never really liked… fiction, I guess? Don’t get me wrong, give me a good fiction novel and I will read it for days, but… it… it just wasn’t me,” you confess locking your fingers in place.

“I was about ready to give up on writing when my tenth grade English teacher assigned us a topic to write about and I guess I fell in love with the research and being able to go out and interview people.”

“Yeah? And what was it that you wrote about?”

You bite your lip and find Dick staring at you, a curious glimmer in his eyes. “Don’t laugh?” He promises he won’t. “Robin.”

He chokes on his saliva, eyes growing in disbelief. “As in Batman’s Robin?”

You tuck strands of hair behind your ear, refusing to meet his gaze. “Yeah, um, the prompt was about vigilantes and I chose to write about him instead of the Flash, Batman, Wonder Woman and whoever else everyone wrote about.”

“Why?”

You shrug, trying your best to mask your embarrassment with a blase attitude. “Fighting crime with Batman? That was pretty cool, you know? He was living every kid’s dream.”

“Was he?” he asks, voice soft.

“He was!” you confess, smile blooming on your face as a memory of you and your friends playing as the superhero sidekicks comes to mind. It’s some of your best memories from elementary school. “But I didn’t want to just write about the good. He was a kid seeing some fucked up shit, after all.” You pause to look at him, only to find he’s not looking at you, but at the city lights. There’s something… wistful and forlorn in those blue eyes of his, and you wonder if he’s thinking back on his time in Gotham, seeing Boy Wonder up close and personal. “Being Robin must’ve taken its toll on him, both mentally and physically.

“And I wanted to write about that. Even had my parents drive up to Gotham for the weekend so I could do some snooping, maybe even find Boy Wonder myself.”

Finally he reacts, lips twitching as he turns to look at you. “And how’d that go?”

“I learned that the citizens of Gotham really hate being asked questions.” He chuckles and you smile. “But those who did answer... you can tell they were grateful for him and worried about him. The kid really touched people’s hearts, whether they agreed with his nightly activities with Batman or not.” You tilt your head, watching his eyes light up with your words. “It’s just a shame I didn’t get to interview Robin himself.” You grab hold of the railing and lean forward. “But I’d doubt he’d have given me the time of day if I had gotten the chance to ask him. Probably too busy saving babies and punching villains with Batman.”

“I’m sure he would have made time for you.” Your fingers slip from the metal to turn to look at him, unsure of his sincerity. “How could he not?” His cheeks have become flushed with the cold, nose bright and blue eyes stark against his skin.

You smile, but you’re sure it looks more like an awkward grimace. “You’re just saying that.”

“I’m not.” He frowns, sincere eyes knocking your breath away. “I know if he knew someone as sincere as you wanted to ask him some questions for their article, he would have dropped whatever he was doing to help you.”

You don’t know why you stand there, waiting for him to laugh in your face and say his punchline. You don’t know why he just stands there and stares back at you, quiet and shining with sincerity that he’s trying to penetrate into your being. It’s weird and totally unnecessary, but maybe a part of you is desperate to know if he’s really being sincere and a part of him is desperate for you to know he is.

“Hey!” Megan’s voice break through the trance you’re both in. Her head barely poking out into the cold and green eyes narrowing. “Get in here before you both catch something!”

Dick chuckles, attention moving from her to you. “Should we head in?”

You nod mutely, smiling tight lipped.

As you follow Megan inside, the only thing on your mind is that you might have already caught something.

Bludhaven

December 15, 2020

“You’re really not coming home for the Holidays this year?”

Megan is pouting on your computer screen, but you hardly pay her any attention. You have an article on Bludhaven’s growing homelessness due in the morning and you still have some revisions to do. Your little mishap earlier today took time that you were reserving for this article and now you’re running behind.

“‘Fraid not,” you tell her, your voice accompanied by the clicking of your keyboard. “I’ve been overloaded with a ridiculous amount of work this month and I need to get it done before the end of the year.”

From the corner of your eye, you can see her scavenging through boxes of decorations. “Won’t your mom be disappointed you won’t be coming home?”

“Nope,” you pop the “p” as you rewrite a fragment. “She’s coming down to see me instead.”

She stops, head lifting like a prairie dog on alert. “So it’s just going to be you two this year?”

“Maybe. Dick said he might stop by, but he’s not sure.”

“Ooh,” her teasing rings through your quiet bedroom and you roll your eyes.

“It’s not like that, Megan.” You wished it were like that, but it’s not, and maybe it’s for the best. Dick became one of your good friends since the party last year and one of your best friends after you volunteered for a transfer to Bludhaven’s Times earlier this year. You don’t want to mess with what you have, not right now when your life feels perfectly balanced.

“Don't let the person who didn't love you keep you from the person who will,” she says, sounding serious as hell and making you snort and pause in your typing. “Hey! Don’t laugh at my words of wisdom!”

“This has nothing to do with them, Megan. When I said I was finally over them, I meant it.” The moment you were able to look at an old tagged picture of you and them on their friends’ Instagram and you felt nothing, no numbness, no anger nor sadness, just a strange vagueness as if they were a stranger, you knew you were over them. “Dick and I… we like where we are.”

“Boo.”

Conner appear on screen and shakes his head as he wraps his arm around her shoulder. “Don’t listen to her. I respect your decision.”

She rolls her eyes, playfully pushing his head out of the screen. “I respect your decision too, doesn’t mean I agree with it.”

“Heckling does not equate respect, babe.”

You laugh at their antics, their displays of affections no longer bothering you. Now, when you see them you just feel happy, happy for them and for you. Bitterness long gone from your bones, and there’s one person you can thank for that.

Your phone on your desk dings.

Dick 🥳🤩: Chinese food 2nite?

You: only if you promise to get extra egg rolls

Dick 🥳🤩: Got’chu, omw.

“You’re smiling! Why are you smiling? It’s Dick, isn’t it? It’s totally Dick.”

You roll your eyes, trying to keep your face neutral but knowing you’re doing horribly at it. “I have to go, I’ll talk to you later.”

“Wait, is he coming over?” She gushes, and Conner is back on screen, trying to wrestle the phone out of her grip.

You laugh when you hear a curse from Conner. “I have an article to finish, Megan.”

“You can’t just leave me hanging like this—“

All right, you’ve had enough. “Bye, Megan!”

Megan🧡: 😨 You hung up on me?

Megan🧡: 😡😡

Megan🧡: Expecting deets tomorrow ❤️

You: goodnight, megan!

It doesn’t take long for Dick to arrive and for you to shove your article aside—you’re almost done with it anyway, nothing wrong with a little break.

The door jingles and as you begin to clear your coffee table—where you and Dick usually eat dinner—of your paperwork, it opens to reveal Dick still wearing his uniform. You smile up at him briefly, gathering everything and taking it over to your round, small dining table that could probably fit four people if you really tried to squeeze them in. “Hey! Let me just grab some plates and we can—“

Before you can finish your sentence, or head into the kitchen, a hand wraps around your wrist, worried crystallized blue eyes staring into you. “Why didn’t you tell me you were almost mugged?”

Ah, hell.

The crack in his voice makes your heart drop to your stomach and your eyes fall down to his ugly black shoes that you make fun of every chance you get just to hear his laugh. “I’m sorry,” you mumble. “I didn’t want to worry you.”

Which isn’t a lie. Since you moved to Bludhaven, Dick has been checking up on you more often and even picking you up from work if he has the chance—“Bludhaven isn’t like Happy Harbor. It’s… tougher and harder,” he had said after offering to teach you some self defense moves. You had laughed and said you could handle yourself, but accepted it anyway if it meant spending more time with him.

Today was just bad luck, he was on the other side of the city and you had chosen to take the bus to work that day and hadn’t been paying attention. Next thing you know, you’re being threatened to give your purse up.

His warm fingers leave your wrist and instead they find your chin. Gingerly, he lifts your head to force you to meet his gaze. “When Rohrbach called me on my way here to check up on you because she was worried, I swear my heart almost stopped.” His eyes shine with worry and there’s a twisting in your gut. “What if Louie hadn’t been nearby, huh?”

“I’m okay, Dick,” you reassure him, wanting nothing more than to lean against him, maybe have his lips press a kiss on your forehead. “I handled him pretty well. Used those self defense moves you taught me.” It was why you were able to shake him off and run to the nearest officer for help. Dick inadvertently saved you.

He finally smiles. “Yeah, Rohrbach said you left him pretty bruised up.” His hand under your chin moves to smooth out your hair before cupping the back of your head and pressing you against him. “I need you to be more careful, sweetheart. Need you to be safe.”

Your heart bursts in your chest at the pet-name and you wrap your arms around his waist, fisting the jacket of his uniform tightly. His cologne makes you dizzy—ginger and spices for the holiday. “Only if you promise to stay safe, too.”

“I’ll do my best.” His soft lips land on your forehead briefly before he’s pulling away and you restrain yourself from chasing after him. “Let’s eat? You must be starving.”

“A little,” you admit, and let him pull you toward the couch. “Eating out of the cartons today?”

He flashes you a grin. “Why not?”

As you both settle next to each other on the floor, back being supported by your old couch and you turn on your television as he pulls out the food he bought, you can’t help but think that even if your relationship stay like this with Dick, you wouldn’t mind it.

Bludhaven

December 31, 2020

You check your watch for the umptenth time.

He’s late.

Everyone around you is celebrating, filling the bar with laughter and talk, most of it incoherent over the loud music and the inebriated state most of them are in. You’re only a few hours away from the New Year and people are already drunk out of their minds—this doesn’t spell trouble for the night whatsoever.

Dick 🥳🤩 (7)

7 outgoing calls, all unanswered and completely unlike him. Sure, sometimes he doesn’t answer your calls when he’s busy, that’s a given, but he always sends you a message if he’s going to be late or apologizes for not being able to answer your call. This just not like Dick.

You try calling one more time, covering one ear with your palm to hear the ringing, but just like before, you get sent to voicemail. Worry begins to over take your annoyance. You grab your bag and quickly make your way out of the crowded bar, not caring about the warm bodies complaining.

Driving to his place takes you about thirty minutes with traffic, and you occasionally find yourself cursing at other drivers and yourself. It’s a miracle you don’t get into an accident or pulled over. With his garage key that he gave you, you open the gate and make your way to the space that has become yours over the last couple of months with how much you visit him.

Locking your car with a simple click of the key fob, you power walk to the elevator. One last time, you try calling him, hoping he’ll answer and apologize for being late, but once again it sends you to voicemail just as the elevator doors open on his floor.

“Please be okay,” you whisper to yourself.

Taking out your copy of the key, you slowly insert it and tentatively call out to him as you open the door.

No answer.

You strain your hearing as you swear you hear some shuffling and thumping, but that noise could just be coming from down the hall. He does have some noisy neighbors.

You enter the apartment and close the door behind you. “Dick?”

There’s a crash and you jump, your heart in your throat, but the familiar string of curses eases your fear. You follow the noise and come face to face with a wide eyed Dick shirtless covered in nasty forming bruises in the middle of his bathroom.

A whimper escapes your lips and you rush forward, cupping his face in your hand. “What the hell happened to you? I thought you managed to get the night off?” You turn his head this way and that, and then push him back by grabbing his shoulder to look at his torso and back. Only letting go when he winces at a particularly hard tug. “Oh shit! I’m sorry!”

He grabs your wrists not allowing you to give him space. “You’re not blushing,” he says cheekily, his eyes twinkling even with the slowly forming bruise.

Your eyebrows furrow. “Why would I be—“ Your eyes drag down to his naked torso peppered with old wounds and spanking brand new bruises and you immediately feel a wave of heat spreading through your body. “Oh.”

He laughs softly, chuckling almost, low and a sweet timbre.

But when your eyes fall lower, you’re doused in cold water, black, almost skin tight material—unitard?—and a black holster wrapped around his right leg greeting you. This isn’t his police uniform! What is he wearing? And why does it look like kevlar? “Why are you—“

You’re not allowed a moment to ask because Dick pulls you towards him with a tug of your wrists and you fall against his chest, barely bracing yourself as he wraps his arms around your waist, large hands flat against your back.

“Dick?”

“I’m okay,” he murmurs airily into your hair and you don’t know what to do, you’re pretty sure he can feel and hear your pacing heart.

You repeat his name, trying to pull away from him to look into his eyes. He doesn’t let you.

He inhales. “Just give me a moment and I’ll answer any questions you might have.”

You sigh, warm air brushing against his bare skin, and the hands that braced yourself on the kitchen sink wrap around his torso loosely. “What happened?”

Circles are traced on your shirt, one hand climbing higher to cradle the back of your head. “Remember the guy who tried to rob you?” You nod and hum, remembering that crooked nosed, pale skin idiot who thought you’d be an easy target. “He escaped during transfer today with the help of some of his friends, and I went after them. Off record.”

You pull away from him and look up at him with wide eyes and slack jaw to find his serious gaze on you, lips pulled down into a thin line. “What do you mean off record?” Your throat closes and the back of your nose stings—he went after them ‘cause that man tried hurting you? “Dick, what if something happened—”

His eyes bore into you and his thumb find purchase on your face, tracing the curve of your cheekbone. “It's just a couple of scratches and bruises. I’m okay. I promise.”

You blink back your tears and lean into his touch. “You still shouldn’t have gone by yourself!”

“I didn’t,” he says softly. “I went with a friend.”

Your nose scrunches, your eyes still watery. “Rohrbach?”

He shakes his head. “No. Better, Robin.”

“Robin?” You try to remember if he’s ever mentioned anyone named Robin at the precinct, but you’re pretty sure he hasn’t—“Wait. Robin? As in Batman’s Robin?” His gaze doesn’t change, it remains serious and your heart leaps in your chest. “You really know Robin?”

He finally cracks a smile and you’re half expecting him to say he’s joking (you don’t know which is worse, him joking about knowing Robin when he’s aware how much admiration teen you had for him or finding out that he really went after that thug and his friends on his own!), but instead he answers with a simple, “Yeah.”

“Dick, if you’re—“

He chuckles, his thumb that had been tracing your cheekbone dragging down to your bottom lip, slowly tracing the swell. You would have melted if there weren’t more pressing matters at hand. “I’m not playing with you, sweetheart.”

Your eyes fall to his torso and down to his pants and the hanging arms of his unitard and they snap back up, alarmed. “Are you—does this mean you’re also a—“ you can’t even form a proper sentence, the rushing of your blood flowing through your head and ears drown out your thoughts and voice.

His hands drop from your frame and you take a step back as he adjusts the unitard, slipping into it only to have you gasping at the familiar symbol on his chest—Nightwing.

Without waiting for his permission, your fingers trace the symbol, the material under your fingers soft and somehow firm. A deep ache blooms in your chest, your nose wrinkling and Dick reacts quickly, cupping your face with his now covered hands, and you’d laugh any other time at the fact that his suit is falling forward and down his arms, but you’re too busy trying to keep yourself from crying.

It all makes sense now! His double shifts and all the injuries—gods. How could you have been so blind?

He rubs the corner of your eyes and coos gently, worry swimming in his eyes and honestly, that’s not fair! You’re the only one allowed to be worried right now! “Hey, hey, why are you crying, huh? What’s wrong?”

Your head falls forward and Dick leans down to press his forehead against yours. “This isn’t going to make me worry less about you, Dick.” Your fingers wrap around his thick forearms. “You promised you were going to try staying safe and this,” you pause to sigh, refusing to meet his eyes, ”this isn’t going to keep you safe.”

“I’m sorry,” he whispers into the space between you. “I’m sorry I’m going to make you worry. I’m sorry I’m making you cry. And I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before.”

“That doesn’t matter,” you say with a sniffle, because it doesn’t. You don’t care that he didn’t tell you he was Nightwing or that he allowed you to gush about Robin when he’s always known who that is. What matters is that now you know Dick is out every night as Nightwing risking his life and you’re not happy about that. That’s what matters.

“But I won’t break my promise.” You squeeze his arm. “I promised you I would try, and ever since that night, I’ve done my best to keep to that, and I always will.” His nose bumps against yours, trying to get you to look at you and you do, suddenly aware of the lack of space between you. “I have someone to come home to now.”

Your eyebrows furrow, and your heart pounds against your rib cage. You’re no longer okay being just friends with Dick, not when he says things like that and when he’s looking at you like this either—like you’re the only thing that matters and all he wants is to keep you trapped in his arms (you wouldn’t fight him if he tried).

Before you can voice anything, coherent or incoherent, your mouth is sealed shut by a paid of chapped lips. It’s a small peck, but it’s enough to send a tumble of acrobats into a frenzy. And all you want is to feel his lips against yours again, and so you meet him halfway after a shallow collection of breath.

Lips move in tandem, heads tilting this way and that and it’s all very much like the passionate romcom movie kisses you’ve seen over the years, the kind you’d dream about every time Dick would kiss different parts of your face and never your lips. It’s all fire and sweetness, like fireworks on a hot summers’ day and watermelon juice dripping down your chin.

A loud boom echoes in the quiet night and you jerk away from Dick, eyes snapping to his bedroom entrance, the windows covered with blinds allowing the bright flashes of light to filter in.

“Did we miss the countdown?” you find yourself asking dumbly, a little breathless and mind still reeling from his intense kiss.

He presses another one to your temple, chuckling. “Does it matter?”

“It’s the New Year!”

“Could really care less,” he grumbles, voice coming from deep in his chest as his lips dragging from the corner of your eyes to your lips, pulling you away from the firework show outside. “Too busy trying to make out with my gorgeous girlfriend.”

“Girlfriend, huh?” you tease in between kisses.

“Mhmm, have been trying to make her mine for a couple of months now, but she’s pretty clueless. ‘S supposed to be one of the best reporters in all of the tri state area, too.”

“Should’ve said something, Dick. I’m not a mind reader.”

He chuckles, pulling away from your lips for just a moment. “There’s something else you should know.”

“What?” you ask, a little hazily.

“I was Robin.”

And before you can ask him to elaborate on that or you’re allowed to be embarrassed, he closes the distance between you once more and kisses you senseless.

To think you thought you’d regret going to Megan’s a little over a year ago; if only the you from then could see you now, happy and moved on.

#dick grayson x reader #richard dick grayson x reader #robin x reader #nightwing x reader #dick grayson x you #dick grayson x y/n #reader insert #young justice #titans #fanfic #young justice fic #titans fic

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honeyvoicehwang · 4 years

Text

Mon Bon Garcon

plot: lee felix punishes han jisung in french

word count: 4,142

genre: smut

pairing: idol!han jisung x idol!lee felix

warnings: facials, hardcore smut, orgasm denial, swearing

a/n: thank you to @lvoelisa to editing the french of this story! this is also posted on my ao3, which is linked in my bio (maybe, i think i fucked it up, i have to check)!! this is my first fanfic on tumblr!! and there will be a list of translations at the end!!

In short, the interview had gone horribly. To the viewers, Felix had been inexplicably angry the entire time. However, Felix had known what it was that had pissed him off-- or rather, who. Han fricken Jisung.

Good God was that brat going to get it.

The car ride home had been tense. Hard. Annoying. Jisung had been running his hand up and down Felix's thigh, trying to get Felix to speak to him. Felix simply tightened his jaw and kept his gaze pointed out the window.

It was so hard for him to not pull Jisung onto his lap and spank him in front of everyone right then and there, regardless of how safe it was or not. Jisung inched closer to him.

"Please, sir, I know that you're mad, but please look at me?" His voice wasn't high pitched or whiny, instead being low and serious. The hurt in his voice was prominent. It was almost enough for Felix to forgive him right then and there and kiss the boy, apologizing profusely. Almost.

Felix didn't look back. Only pushed Jisung’s begging out of his mind. Instead, he tried to think of all of the ways that he could punish Jisung when they finally got home.

Entering the dorm was a nightmare with Jisung attached to Felix's arm, gently pulling with every step he took, an attempt to capture Felix's attention.

Finally, Felix had had enough. He grabbed Jisung by the wrist and nudged him forward. Jisung looked at him with confusion in his eyes, wondering what Felix was doing, but when he saw that Felix was telling him to go to their room, his eyes widened. He didn't know what was going to happen, but he scurried as quickly as he could.

Felix followed behind him, his footsteps heavy. Felix entered the room and swiftly locked the door before turning to Jisung, no particular look evident on his face. "Mon bébé," his deep voice rumbled.

It sent a shiver down Jisung's spine. He knew just how badly he'd fucked up. Felix only ever pulled out the French when Jisung was really in trouble. Though Felix's tone was rough and dark, implying worse was going to happen, Jisung couldn't help but feel warm and buzzed inside. My baby, Felix had said. Lord, did JIsung love it when Felix called him his baby. Jisung suppressed a smile.

"Savez-vous ce que vous avez fait de mal?" Felix asked. It was something he asked Jisung often. It had taken a while for him to process what was being asked. The structure was different from English, and even though Jisung knew English, he still struggled with it sometimes. He bit his lip, needing a second to think if Felix was asking him what he usually did.

It took a little bit before he responded. "I-I don't know, sir, I'm sorry." His voice was small and quiet. He hated being a disappointment to Felix and felt guilty every time he did something wrong, even if it was just for a punishment.

Felix frowned at him, deep and prominent. The feeling of guilt resonated deep inside Jisung. The only problem had been that he genuinely didn't know what he'd done wrong. He knew Felix would tell him eventually, whether he understood or not.

“Ce n’est pas une bonne réponse, bébé. Je suis déçu," he said, shaking his head.

Jisung didn't respond; it was obvious that he hadn't understood what Felix said. Felix just clicked his tongue. "Se pencher en avant. Maintenant," he demanded. That one, Jisung knew all too well. His ass hurt already, anticipating what was coming. Was that even possible? Could his ass... pre-hurt? He scrambled to get on Felix's lap before his punishment got any worse.

"Bon garçon. Compte pour moi, d'accord?" Jisung whimpered and Felix landed a hand on his ass harshly. "Comprendre?" he hissed.

Jisung instinctively pushed his ass back, trying to soothe the stinging sensation, but Felix quickly removed his hand when he realized what the older was trying to do.

"Vilain. Réponds-moi."

Jisung bit his tongue, nodding. He could practically feel Felix rolling his eyes at Jisung's pathetic behavior. He certainly felt Felix tense under him. The next thing he felt was Felix's arm reaching between his legs and reaching for his belt, messily trying to undo it. "Avec des mots," Felix said harshly.

Of course, Jisung knew that. He knew Felix expected him to use his words, so why hadn't he? He waited for the first strike, and it took a while to come, Felix still fiddling with the belt. It was apparent that he was struggling. Jisung wanted to just do it for him, but he knew better than to do something without being told to. Felix still tried for a little bit before eventually giving up.

"Enlève ta ceinture pour moi," he said. Once again, Jisung didn't understand what Felix had said, so he didn't move.

Felix slapped the back of his thighs and he quickly got onto all fours. From there, Felix flipped him over and Jisung saw just how mad Felix really was. His jaw was clenched, making his cheekbones more prominent. His eyes were firm and held fire that Jisung desperately wanted to extinguish. Jisung felt his eyes widen in fear.

Jisung felt his eyes widen in fear. "Retirer," Felix repeated, a frigid bite to his words.

Felix tapped the buckle of the belt and then motioned behind him. Sure, Jisung found it hot when Felix spoke French, but he was starting to suspect that Felix just wanted to punish him more, as was custom when Jisung didn't obey fast enough. He knew a lot of English and was fluent in Korean, so why Felix didn't just take the two seconds to say it in a language Jisung understood, he would never know, but at the same time, he relished Felix's French.

Oh, he wants the belt off. Jisung was quick to oblige. Felix tried to hide it, but Jisung could see there was a small smile on his lips. Relief washed over Jisung. Pleasing Felix was always something that lightened his mood, no matter how the punishment had been going. It made him feel as though he was finally doing something right for once.

Felix soothed Jisung's hair as he thrashed around on Felix's lap, trying to get his belt and pants off as quickly as he could. "Mon bon garçon," Felix whispered, pressing a kiss as close to Jisung's temple as he could. "Vous écoutez si bien," he said. Felix pulled Jisung in for a gentle kiss.

Jisung could feel his chest heating up at the praise and pressed his lips harder against Felix's. He wrapped his arms around Felix's neck, pushing his tongue into Felix's mouth, moaning softly. "Monsieur, touch me, please."

"Vous toucher? Est-ce que c'est ce que tu veux?" The words swirled around Jisung's head, getting lost in the place where he didn't know what was being said. He didn't care. Felix's voice was so deep, so sexy, so dangerous.

Jisung was so lost in listening to Felix speak that he squealed in surprise when he felt a small, warm hand wrap around his cock. The sensation was so mind numbingly good; he didn’t think he could ever get bored of it.

Jisung moaned as he switched his position so that he was straddling Felix, his back pressed to Felix's chest. Felix's hand never once left Jisung's throbbing cock.

They'd hardly started and Jisung was already a mess; panting, sweating, and trying to buck his hips up into Felix's hand, creating the friction he was desperate for. "Ung, fuck, Monsieur," he moaned.

Felix wrapped his free arm around Jisung's waist, holding his hips as still as he could, as he picked up the pace on Jisung's dick. "Voulez-vous me faire un faveur?" he asked, voice dangerously low, his voice vibrating in Jisung's ear. Jisung didn't have to see Felix to know that he licked his lips after asking.

Jisung thought about what Felix asked. He knew "you want" and "to do," so he just assumed he knew what Felix was asking. Jisung tried to pull Felix's hand off of his dick for a second, but all of the energy was sucked out of him, too trapped by the sensation of Felix’s movements. Felix had been alternating between fast and painfully slow, switching every couple of seconds, and it was torture. He waited until Felix was going slow again before trying (and succeeding).

Jisung stood up and turned around, now straddling Felix while facing him. "Je t'aime, Monsieur," Jisung whispered, pressing a gentle kiss against Felix's neck and sucking lightly. Felix groaned. Felix didn't usually let him suck like that for so long, so Jisung did it for as long as Felix would allow.

As soon as Felix moved him back, Jisung started trailing his lips all over Felix's neck, collarbones, and face. He pulled away, pouting slightly, allowing his eyelids to drop. "Was that what you were looking for, Monsieur?"

Felix smirked, a dominant fire dancing in his eyes. "Oui, bébé, t t’es très bien débrouillé. Je suis très fier de toi." Felix kissed Jisung once more, reaching his hand to wrap around Jisung's cock again.

He only gave it a couple of pumps before motioning for Jisung to get off of him. Jisung moved as fast as his body would let him. Felix was quick to discard himself of his pants and shirt before reaching out for Jisung's hand. "Viens ici, chérie," he said, dragging Jisung over to the bed.

Jisung fell against the plush mattress, staring up at a now naked Felix. He watched silently as Felix pumped himself to full hardness. "Tu es si belle," Felix groaned, climbing onto the bed, one knee on either side of Jisung.

"La couleur?" Felix asked, biting Jisung's cheek gently. Jisung smiled, remembering that lesson. Felix had taught Jisung how to say red, yellow, and green in French. He'd said something about how sexy it was when Jisung consented in French. Or something like that. Jisung has remembered the lesson and practically inhaling the mattress that night, but not much in between that. That still had to be one of the best fucks of his life.

He must've taken too long to respond, because a harsh slap to his thigh brought his attention to the spur look on Felix's face. "Dépêche-toi, bébé. Je n'ai aucun problème à m'arrêter. D'accord?" The threatening tone was enough for Jisung to gulp audibly.

"V-vert," he said quietly. The anger melted from Felix's face. He ran a gentle hand through Jisung's long blond hair, murmuring how good of a boy Jisung was for him.

Felix began running his hands all over Jisung's thighs, dipping between them, his thumb running over his rim. "Est-ce que cet d'accord?" Is this okay? God, what a stupid question. Fuck, yes, it was. Okay? Better than okay. If the sounds Jisung were making was any indication of that, Felix would never stop touching him that way.

Jisung bucked his hips into Felix's touch. Every time he moved more than Felix did, Felix would stop moving his hand. "Arrêter maintenant." Jisung whined at Felix stopping and bucked his hips in an attempt to get Felix to start again, but stopped once another slap was delivered.

One hand had been enough to leave a red imprint on Jisung's thighs. A breathy moan escaped from his lips and he silently willed Felix to start touching him again. Mentally begging Felix to touch his aching cock, which was red and purple, yearning to be handled.

"Mon petit pédé," Felix said, gripping the base of Jisung's cock tightly. "Tu es tellement excité. Tu ne peux même pas rester assis, n’est-ce pas?"

A blush ran down Jisung's neck and chest. He had no idea what had been said, but he knew Felix's condescending tone. He knew the familiar, humiliating tone that resonated so hard in his dick. To be degraded wasn't something he'd ever asked for, though he never complained about it, either. Whether it was in Korean, English, or even French. Any time that Felix dominated him was just what Jisung was looking for.

Jisung moved his hips, trying to get Felix to start doing something -- anything -- other than talking and squeezing him. He missed the feeling of having Felix's hand on his cock, moving up and down, no matter how painfully slow. It still meant that his boyfriend was touching him, giving him the attention he so desperately craved. It was everything that he needed.

That was the wrong move, however, as Felix took that as a sign that Jisung wasn't willing to cooperate the proper way that he should have been.

Felix teased him a little bit, tightening the already painful grip around Jisung's dick and slicked his hand up Jisung's length, squeezing harder yet at the tip, making Jisung yelp before entirely moving his hand off of Jisung. Jisung was tempted to whine and get Felix to touch him again, but he knew that wouldn't pay off in the way he wanted. Not when Felix's hands were already sloppily fumbling around with the belt around his slim waist as well as the buttons on his jeans.

Jisung gulped. He knew he was always in for a treat when Felix was rushing to remove his clothing. He rarely rushed around like that unless they hadn't done anything in while and he was needy or Jisung was in real trouble. Seeing as Jisung knew he was being punished already and it hadn't been a while since they'd fooled around. It wasn’t hard for him to guess which of the two was happening.

Before long, Felix's pants were thrown to the side of the room, discarded without a second thought. Jisung could feel the drool pooling at the bottom of his mouth as Felix's cock was revealed.

Long and perfectly pink tipped, already dripping with pre-cum. No matter how many times Felix had fucked Jisung, no matter how many times Jisung had seen it, he was never not taken aback by how much he loved it.

He hardly even noticed when his mouth opened slightly, allowing his tongue to fall out of his mouth, panting slightly. He still didn't really know what Felix had in store for him. Felix was never one to really reuse the same punishments over and over again. He definitely preferred to be unpredictable, so that Jisung was never expecting the same thing.

It certainly kept things interesting.

"Aimez-vous ce que vous voyez, bébé?" Felix asked, his voice dark and husky as his hand ran down his length.

Jisung hadn't thought it was possible for Felix to get hotter, but as his voice deepened and he touched himself slowly in front of Jisung, little droplets of sweat dripping down his chin, breathing heavily, and his bright red hair that made him look like sin, Jisung could hardly believe what he was seeing. It was so hard for him to sit and watch, so he made a move to put Felix in his mouth.

"Rester ici," Felix said in the same tone that he gave commands in. Jisung figured he was being told to stay put, so he moved back to where he was originally sitting. A sly smile creeped onto Felix's face. "Bien."

"Regarde moi!" Jisung watched dumbly, mind fuzzy and blurred with lust. Felix was so attractive, so hot, and all Jisung imagined himself touching Felix's body, filling his mouth with Felix's dick, his ass being filled up by Felix. His own dick twitched against his stomach. He was so turned on, he couldn't even think to do anything other than watch dazedly.

Felix had always demonstrated a lot more control that Jisung was capable of. It was such a turn on. What, with the way he was slowly stroking himself, letting out low groans, holding himself back from going faster, putting on the show for Jisung.

His pre-cum was leaking onto the floor and Jisung wanted to lick it up, but he hadn't been given permission to move, so he stayed put. His mouth formed a slight pout, being unable to clean up the mess his dominant was making. He loved how Felix tasted, how sweet and salty he was at the same time.

Jisung was so lost in his own thoughts about licking Felix's shaft that he hadn't even noticed that Felix was moving closer until the only thing that Jisung could see was the tip of Felix's cock.

He opened his mouth wide, sticking out his tongue and silently asking Felix if he could suck. Felix slapped his cock against Jisung's tongue gently, shaking his head, pumping a little bit faster. "Seulement mes couilles."

Felix moved up a little higher so that Jisung could reach his balls, and Jisung immediately pulled one into his mouth, sucking fiercely, causing Felix to let out a loud moan.

Jisung tried to push himself into the air, lamely attempting to catch any type of friction that he could get. "Ji," Felix said in his warning tone, dropping the French accent. Jisung stopped.

He looked up at Felix and saw his chest heaving. That was usually when he looked his best, when he was coming undone at Jisung's own hands. Jisung was a sub through and through, so knowing that he had the power to control his dominant like that... it gave Jisung a high that he could never chase unless he saw Felix losing his breath over what Jisung was doing to him.

"Bon garcon," he whispered, roughly threading his fingers through Jisung's long blond hair. "Mon joli bébé," he said, pumping himself harder. "Tellement joli."

Jisung pulled off of Felix and tried to make his way to Felix's dick , but Felix was too quick. He gripping Jisung's hair tightly in a fist holding him away from his dick. "Tu penses que tu mérites ça? Après que tu m'as embarrassé comme ça?" Felix yanked his hair. Jisung whined.

"P-please," he whimpered. "Please let me suck you. I wa-I need you. Need you in my mouth." Felix was pulling so hard on his hair that his scalp burned and it brought tears to his eyes, and for everything that was good in the world, it hurt like fuck, but he didn't care. Felix pulled harder and a tear silently slipped down Jisung's cheek as he once again asked, "Please?"

Without any warning, Felix let go over Jisung's hair all together, causing Jisung's head to fall forward, his face hitting Felix's cock. However, before Jisung could regain his composure, his face was being pulled up again, this time with Felix's hand around his chin, and before Jisung had the time to process what was happening, Felix's lips were pressed firmly against his own.

The faint taste of grape filled his mouth and he whined into the kiss. Kissing Felix had always been one of his favorite activities. It was such a nice experience, with how Felix tasted, to how he moved his mouth, he always used the perfect amount of tongue and it was the most comforting thing Jisung had ever experienced. He never wanted it to end.

It seemed as though that just as that thought crossed his mind, Felix was already pulling away from Jisung. "J'aime vraiment ça, tu veux dire si bien." Jisung looked up hopefully at Felix. The only hint that came with that question was Felix's eyes briefly falling to his bouncing cock.

Jisung couldn't see it, but he'd felt the large smile on his face enough to know that his eyes were also lit up. He happily opened his mouth wider than it needed to be, but he just wanted to show Felix how ready, how prepared, how good he was going to be. How good he could be if he was given the chance. He immediately tried to take as much of Felix down his throat as he could.

His eyes were blown open, not wanting to miss a second of Felix's reaction, and he relished in the face Felix made as he slipped into the back of Jisung's throat, causing him to cough around the dick.

"J’aime beaucoup ça, tute sens si bien," Felix groaned. “Merde.”

Jisung moved his head, trying to take Felix as much as he could each time he pulled back. Jisung went further and further until he felt his nose press against the soft flesh just below Felix's navel. He'd gotten so good at sucking Felix off that he barely even felt Felix's tip right up against the back of his throat.

As soon as he noticed it, he started violently coughing, but he made no efforts to pull away. It was an honor to choke around Felix and Jisung knew that deep down, Felix didn't mind it.

Jisung pulled back when he felt the tears pooling in his eyes and his nose getting hot with his struggle to breathe. "I love it when you stuff my face, sir," he said softly, his voice not being able to go much louder than a whisper. He opened his mouth again, leaning forward to start sucking Felix again, but a hand woven in his hair pulled him back.

"Un moment, bébé." Jisung wracked his brain, trying to think of what Felix could possibly be saying to him. He opened his mouth, but didn't lean forward. Felix's grip tightened around his hair, trying to keep him in place. No more, he must've said. Jisung quickly closed his mouth, sitting in front of Felix.

"Voulez-vous faire quelque chose de spécial pour moi?" he asked, the hand in his hair now smoothing the sore spots of Jisung's scalp. Jisung couldn't help himself but lean into Felix's soft touch. His tone indicated to Jisung that he wasn't required to answer, and Jisung was thankful because he was having a hard time figuring out what Felix had asked him.

Felix pulled Jisung's face closer to his and brought him in for a gentle kiss before quickly pulling away again.

He started pumping himself again, harder, faster, and the pre cum that was pooling at the tip of his dick was starting to leak off more and more and his breathing became more rapid and heavier, joint with a few swear words every once in a while.

"Merde, bébé, je suis sur le point de venir," Felix said, getting closer to Jisung's face. He was silent for a second, holding back the sounds he clearly wanted so desperately to make. He bit his lip. "Je peux jouir sur ton visage?"

It didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out what Felix was trying to ask. Jisung nodded eagerly, maybe a little too much because it still took a second, but the moment his head stopped moving around was the same second that there was cum all over his face, threaded between his eyelashes and stuck in his hair. It painted his lips and dripped down the tip of his cute little nose.

Felix ran his hand down the side of Jisung's jaw that wasn't covered in his cum. He gave Jisung a second to lick as much of it off of his lips as he could before pressing the softest kiss he had ever given Jisung to his lips.

"Mon bon garçon," he whispered into Jisung's mouth, only cringing slightly at the taste of himself.

"Let's get you cleaned up, hm?" Felix asked, finally in a language Jisung understood. A huge breath of air left his lungs and nodded, moving to stand up when he felt his own dick, still hard, brush against his leg.

He looked down before looking back up at Felix. "Uh, sir, what-what about... this?" he asked shyly, trying to hide the blush that shone through the cum on his cheeks.

Felix looked at Jisung's cock, an angry red and still producing pre cum, practically begging to be touched, given permission to release himself. "Why do you think you deserve it, baby? After all, you weren't very respectful towards me during the radio interview now, were you?" he taunted, a sly smirk playing at his lips.

Jisung hung his head. He knew that Felix was right, he didn't deserve to cum. As much fun as they'd just had, that didn't erase the fact that it was still a punishment. He looked back up at Felix, his eyes wide and gently gnawing on his bottom lip. "C-can I at least have a hug?"

He could see the harsh dom façade fade into a melted smile as Jisung opened his arms for Felix to scoop him up. "Prettiest baby boy ever," he said quietly, booping Jisung's nose with his thumb.

"Let's go and get you cleaned up now, mon cœur," Felix said, bringing Jisung into the bathroom for a night filled with gentle pecks and cuddling for hours.

TRANSLATIONS:

1 - my baby 2 - do you know what you did wrong? 3 - that's not a good response, baby. I'm disappointed 4 - on my lap. now. 5 - good boy. count for me, okay? understand? 6 - naughty. answer me. 7 - with your words. 8 - take off your belt for me 9 - take it off 10 - my good boy. you listen so well. 11 - sir 12 - touch you? is that what you want? 13 - sir 14 - do you want to do me a favor 15 - I love you sir 16 - sir 17 - yes, baby, you did so good. i am very proud of you 18 - come here, pet 19 - you are so beautiful 20 - color? 21 - hurry up, baby. i don't have any problems stopping. okay? 22 - g-green 23 - is this alright? 24 - stop now 25 - my little slut. you're so excited that you cant sit still for me, can you? 26 - do you like what you see baby? 27 - stay there. good. 28 - watch me 29 - only my balls 30 - good boy, my pretty baby. so pretty. 31 - do you think you deserve this? after how you embarrassed me like that? 32 - I love kissing you, but you have a job to do 33 - I love that so much, you feel so good. shit 34 - one second baby/no more 35 - do you want to do something special/cute for me? 36 - shit baby, I am on the verge of coming. can I come on your face? 37 - my good boy 38 - my heart

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