#and there'd be like years between projects

[clonehub]

"why does the fandom complain so much!!" do you see what we've been getting

[remlionheart]

Sex, Money, Feelings, Die (part two)

* ˚ ✦ MDNI ✦˚ *

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ ask and you shall receive ~ you guys wanted more, so here it is! 𓆩♡𓆪 thank u so much for all the love on this ♡ i didn't expect my first shot at Chuuya to gain so much traction but i'm really glad it did (he's just soooo ♡‿♡ u know?) hope you like a good slowburn bc buckle up, heavy "we shouldn't be doing this" vibes, Chuuya would honestly be the most arrogant yet easy to break dom because of how badly he wants to please you and you can't convince me otherwise, porn with a plot, 5.6k words. this fic once again had me swooning and gnawing at the bars of my enclosure writing it so pls lemme know whatcha think, also big shoutout to @bratbby333 for helping me edit this ღ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ ♡ here's part one if you're new here ♡

You stared at yourself in the bathroom mirror with a sigh, tugging at the neck of your shirt. It was late August, 90 degrees outside, and you were on day three of wearing a turtleneck.

You felt like you were attending a funeral in your black top, black heels, and black tennis skirt - but it was all you had left. You'd already worn your other patterned and pleated options earlier in the week. Already paired each stifling hot sweater with the nicest necklaces you had to make them look more business casual than walk-of-shame.

But no matter how nonchalant you'd tried to seem about your sudden change in wardrobe, it was impossible to ignore the curious stares you'd been getting. The suspicious glances from Akutagawa who just a few days ago could barely even look in your direction without tripping over his own feet. There was a palpable sense of skepticism that followed you and it only seemed to get worse with each high-collared shirt you wore.

You let out another sharp exhale, surveying yourself one last time before heading back to your office. You were busy trying to decide on which expletive you were going to spend the next 7 hours cross-stitching when you rounded the corner, a sudden rush of warmth spreading across your face as a pair of cerulean eyes locked with yours.

Out of all the looks you'd gotten recently, his were by far the hardest to avoid.

Time seemed to slow as you passed him. A subtle but taunting smirk pulling at the corner of his mouth while he continued his conversation with Mori. Something about his upcoming assignment in Osaka and how it'd require him to be gone for at least two weeks.

You disappeared into your office, closing the door behind you as you took a seat and diligently began working on a new project.

Your thread kit had become invaluable over the last few days. It wasn't just a way to pass time anymore - it was an escape. A tool you used to steer your thoughts away from the one place that they kept relentlessly trying to wander back to.

Since the announcement of his solo mission, there'd hardly been a chance for you to see Chuuya outside of the lingering glances you'd exchange in passing. Mori had been keeping close tabs on him, constantly barging in and out of his office to go over the details of his assignment. You tried to remind yourself that it was probably for the best. That the safest thing you could do was keep what had happened between the two of you a onetime fling and nothing more.

It hadn't mattered in the moment how careless you'd both been when you assumed that you'd never see him again, but now that your time here had been extended, you were quickly realizing how critical it was to keep your wits about you. Up until arriving at Port Mafia, you'd barely been skating by. Living off of a dwindling savings account and more often than not having to choose between dinner or rent.

The first check you received from Mori alone was more than you made all of last year working as a barista. You knew that this sort of opportunity would never come again. That it was absolutely fleeting and subject to change at any given moment, but that's what made keeping it for as long as you could so important. The money you were making now would put you through college. It would grant you a future that didn't involve debt. A sense of stability that you never would've had otherwise.

You had no choice but to lay low, for real this time.

You moved your tapestry needle with ease, adding small, strategically placed hearts around the words, "choke me" as you stretched out your legs with a yawn.

The coffee they had here wasn't nearly as good as the coffee you'd usually get from the cafe down the street, but you decided it was better than nothing as you set your cross-stitch pad on your desk and ventured down the hallway.

For as dangerous as this place was, there was still an odd allure of normalcy about it. There were mundane things like work meetings and fax machines and a breakroom that stayed stocked with beverages and snacks. If it weren't for the people that worked here, this truly would be just another business building in downtown Yokohama.

Your suede pumps tapped against the tile as you entered the breakroom, grabbing a k-cup out of the drawer and popping it into the machine before walking over to the cabinet. Despite the three-inch heels you were wearing, you still had to resort to using your tiptoes to reach the mug you wanted.

Your waist leaned into the counter, your arm reaching as high as it could go when your entire body suddenly froze.

You felt him before you heard him, a pair of gloved hands stealthily gripping around your hips. He rested his head on your shoulder, his breath sending chills along your skin as it broke through the barrier of your shirt and danced across the nape of your neck. He pulled you in closer, your ass meeting the firmness of his growing bulge while his palm slowly drifted up past your skirt and brushed against your inner thigh.

"You know you can't ignore me forever, right?" It was posed as a question but held the weight of a threat with the tantalizing way he touched you.

Your pulse raced, heat gathering at your center as he began to toy with the lacy outline of your underwear. His fingers were dangerously close to where you wanted them and where you knew they shouldn't be. Where they couldn't be if you wanted to stay here.

It was cruel irony that just last week it had been him who was trying so hard to keep himself together and now you were somehow the one struggling to maintain your composure. Failing to stop yourself from arching your back against him. Nearly whining when he abruptly pulled away from you and disappeared without another word.

You swallowed hard, looking down at yourself while you straightened out the hem of your skirt, your body still aching from the disappearance of his touch. It was only then that you realized just how fitting your outfit for today actually was.

You were attending a funeral, mourning the loss of your dignity that had died so easily at the hands of Chuuya Nakahara.

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Two days had passed since your run-in with the redhead and you'd barely seen him since. You knew he was set to leave for Osaka tomorrow morning from the conversations you'd overheard while wandering the hall and you knew he wasn’t looking forward to it.

Maybe it would've been easier to not care about what he was doing if you weren't forced to be here every day, but there was no such thing as a break when working for Port Mafia. No weekends. No time off. Even as arguably their most useless member, you were still expected to show up day in and day out without complaint.

You didn't like to admit it, but his assignment had been weighing on you since you'd first found out about it. You didn't understand why he was being asked to go alone. Why he'd have to be there for two weeks. Why you even cared to begin with.

It'd been bleeding into everything you touched, your embroidery going from mindless patterns to things you couldn't possibly bring yourself to say out loud.

Your fingers moved with precision, adding dainty purple flowers around the words "please be safe" when the landline on your desk let out a shrill, unexpected ring.

You paused, staring at the phone with hesitant curiosity. You'd assumed up until now that it was a decorative prop. A piece of outdated technology to help add to the illusion that you had a real office rather than just an empty room to keep hidden away in for 9 hours. You were floored that it actually worked.

On the fourth ring, you finally caved, answering it with a reluctant, "Hello...?"

"You'd make a terrible receptionist, y'know that?"

You hated the smile that crept across your face as you twirled the phone cord around your index finger. "Don't you have anything better to do besides bother the help?"

"Nah, not really." You could hear the smirk in his voice. "Mori's finally out of my hair for a bit. Somethin' about needing to go check the status of one of our bases out in Tokyo so he should be gone the rest of the day."

"Hmm," You hummed, still fidgeting with the tangled wire. "Guess you'll have plenty of time to clean your office before you leave then."

He let out a semblance of a laugh, his tone still riddled with salacious arrogance as he said, "Get your ass in here." and hung up.

You drew in a shallow breath, mentally kicking yourself yet again for how little self-control you had as you stood up and made your way down the hall. Your skin had just healed from the marks he'd left on you and here you were, flirting with the possibility of getting more.

The door opened seconds after you'd knocked, a set of narrowed blue eyes and tousled red hair greeting you as you stepped into his dimly lit workplace.

You took a seat on the leather couch he had in the corner of the room, pretending not to notice as he locked the door behind you.

"Does Mori not pay you enough to have more than one lamp in here?"

He stood in front of you with his arms folded over his chest, a cocky grin breaking through his nonchalant demeanor. “Sorry, where does he have you working again? That tiny ass room that used to be the broom closet? Yeah, I bet the fluorescent lighting is way better in there.”

You bit back your own dumb smile, rolling your eyes as you crossed one leg over the other. "Did you drag me in here to just insult me or do you actually need something?"

"Depends, do you like being insulted?"

You could feel your body betray you, a telling shade of pink decorating your cheeks as you averted your gaze from his.

"Really?"

You didn't have to look at him to know how much it’d piqued his interest.

"Why are you going to Osaka?" You asked, eager to change the subject.

There was a subtle wave of seriousness that washed over him. His voice losing its playful edge as he rolled his shoulders with a sigh. "I can't really go into too much detail without making you a liability. The less you know about the shit that goes on around here, the better."

Your mouth open and then closed, the objection you had lined up dying on the tip of your tongue as you quietly nodded back at him. Even if you didn't want to accept his answer, you knew he was right.

"Aw, don't tell me you're actually worried about me?" He tilted his head at you, his stare softening when he caught the sincerity in your eyes as you looked back at him. "I'll be fine. Trust me, compared to the other missions I've had to go on, this is nothin'."

You had no choice but to trust him, you knew he was blunt enough to tell you the truth and if he wasn't stressed about leaving, then you couldn't be either. As easy as it was to forget, he wasn't just another member of Port Mafia, he was an executive. There was no way Mori would send him alone if he didn't think it was something he could handle.

"Honestly, I'm more worried about you." He said, breaking your train of thought by nudging your leg with his foot. "What're you gonna do for two whole weeks while I'm gone?"

You buried the rest of your concern with a shrug, uncrossing your legs as you shot him a small smile. "I don't know. Guess I'll have to start fooling around with Akutagawa to pass the time."

He nearly snorted he laughed so hard.

"What? You don't think I could have him if I wanted to?” It was infuriating how easy it was to banter back and forth with him like this. How effortless it was for you to both volley off one another without missing a beat.

He shook his head, trying not to burst into laughter again from the thought of you and his perpetually flustered coworker. "Nah, you could. Just think you'd be disappointed is all. Akutagawa wouldn't know what the fuck to do with a girl like you."

There was something about the way he said it that made the blood dance in your veins.

"Fine." You pressed, still wearing the same slight smile. "Tachihara then."

It was becoming a real problem, the way you loved toying with him as much as he loved toying with you.

"He wouldn't."

"I bet he would."

He bent down to become eye-level with you, butterflies flooding your stomach as he reached out to rest his hand under your chin, a gentle but firm grasp holding you in place. "You can try," he said, his thumb lightly dragging across your bottom lip. "But I don't think you'll have much luck."

"Why?" It was barely a whisper let alone an actual question.

You knew him well enough to know where this was more than likely going, but there was a depraved part of you that wanted to hear him say it. Needed to hear him say it.

"'Cause," His eyes glazed over as he leaned in, closing the already small gap between you so that you were forced to share the same breath. "Tachihara isn't dumb enough to touch things that belong to me."

Your heart was threatening to beat straight out of your chest. A week's worth of pent-up arousal nearly dripping onto his couch as you looked back at him without the faintest bit of restraint left in you.

All of the reasons why you'd been trying so hard to stay away from him suddenly held no real merit. They were lost to his touch. Completely eviscerated the moment his lips finally caught yours and his tongue swirled against you with the same tender urgency you'd been daydreaming about for the last five days. The future didn’t seem so pressing when the present was this heavenly.

Your legs parted without him having to ask, inviting his body to come between them while your hands travelled to the back of his neck. Desperate fingertips sinking into his skin in a feverish attempt to somehow pull him even closer.

"'Take it you're finally done ignorin' me?"

You nodded as you watched him push your skirt up, briefly pausing to take his gloves off with the same toothy method he’d used the last time you were in his office. You could tell it was a seldom act for him. Something he had to consciously remind himself to do, but only when he was with you.

"Good."

His mouth attentively returned back to yours, calloused but gentle fingers digging into the softness of your thigh while his thumb swiped your underwear to the side, granting him access to your weakest point.

"Fuck," he groaned, drawing light circles against you, reveling in the way your hips thrusted up for more.

As eager for a challenge as he was, he secretly loved how easy you were to please. How little it took to rob you of your composure and have your legs shaking around him. How pitiful you looked from only two of his digits slipping in and out of you. How your pupils would dilate in this delirious way each time he went deeper, but how you were still submissive enough to never break eye contact no matter how much you writhed and squirmed beneath him.

"Chuuya -"

"What is it baby?"

He could feel how close you were. Knew it wouldn't take much more to have you soaking him, but he couldn't leave for two weeks without making you cum on more than just his fingers. He needed to know what your walls felt like wrapped around him. What absolutely fucking dazed out noises you would make once he was inside of you.

He undid his belt with his freehand, not letting up on you as you grabbed onto the collar of his shirt.

"Fuck, yes. P - please." You whimpered, watching him stroke himself as he carefully lined up with your center. "Please, Chuuya, ohmygod, please."

"Jesus Christ." He choked out, reeling in how pretty you sounded begging for him. Almost not being able to stop himself as he watched you come completely undone, still pleading for his dick.

He moaned against you, forehead pressed to yours as he finally found the willpower to pull his fingers out of you. His tip had just barely made it past your entrance when a loud knock brought both of you to an insanely cruel and abrupt pause.

His hand flew over your mouth, fire flickering across his blue eyes as he drew in a sharp breath.

"What?" he called out through gritted teeth.

"Plan's changed." It was Tachihara. "Mori's back. He wants you to leave now instead of tomorrow."

"Now?" The anger in his voice was palpable. "Like, right now?"

"Yeah, he's waiting in the jet."

"You can't be fuckin' serious." He grumbled, a pained expression taking hold of him as he looked back down at you, removing his hand from your mouth.

"Gimme a minute." He yelled, silently trying to ration what he was supposed to do with your body still splayed so beautifully under his.

He wanted to fuck you. God damn, he wanted to ignore everything else in the entire world and fuck you into oblivion at this point, but he knew it wouldn't be fair to either of you to have to rush through it or be stressed about the fact that someone might barge in at any second.

It needed to be the right time because you both deserved it. Especially with how many mutual pent-up emotions there now were between you.

Pulling out of you was torture, but he didn't have a choice.

You could've cried, your heart and pussy both grieving the loss of something they'd never even had.

"I swear," He said, forehead back against yours, "As soon as I get back, it's me and you, okay?"

You nodded, doing your best to swallow down your emotions.

"Okay." You finally agreed, eyes still locked with his, a faint smile poking through your frustration. "But if you're not back in two weeks, don't be surprised when you see me and Akutagawa holding hands in the hallway."

He let out a half-hearted laugh as his lips met yours, kissing you in a way that he hadn't before. Soft, lingering... affectionate.

"Hey," you whispered seriously this time, "Please be safe."

"Promise."

And with that, you began redoing the buttons on your blouse and smoothing down your skirt while you watched him grab a jacket out of his armoire, pulling a pack of cigarettes out of the pocket.

"You smoke?"

"Only when I really need one."

He shot you a wink, wrapping his arm around your waist as he walked you out of his office, not caring at all who saw.

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚

You knew it would be awkward without him around, but you hadn't anticipated just how slow the next week would go by. You were tired. Out of ideas for cross-stitch patterns and nearly positive that your curled fingers weren't capable of creating anything else even if you wanted to.

You read manga to keep yourself busy. Looked up recipes on your phone. Took naps at your desk that left kinks in your neck. Called your friends from back home, trying to keep the conversation going long after there was nothing left to say. You were bored. Grateful to still be here, but ready for a day off that you knew wouldn't come.

The check you received on Friday was enough of a reason to stay though. It made the long days of staring at a wall worth it. You reminded yourself again and again that there would never be another job like this. That you might actually miss it one day.

You had no idea, however, just how quickly that day would actually come until you were rounding the corner back to your office and ran into Kyoto. She was the same peach-haired woman who had recruited you from the bar, only she was standing with a fresh face. A girl who looked to be about your age with big brown eyes, flowy blonde hair, and a skirt that was somehow even shorter than yours.

When you had first started, they'd told you that there would be other 'administrative assistants' coming eventually, but you'd almost forgotten about it until now.

Your eyes drifted from her to Kyoto, thinking there was surely no way you'd both be expected to share the same office with how small it was.

You started to extend a hand out to the blonde, ready to introduce yourself when you were promptly cut off by Kyoto.

"Your time here is up." She said curtly. "If there's anything you need to get out of your workstation, I suggest you do it now."

A vicious mix of anger and embarrassment churned in your stomach. "My time here is up?" You repeated blankly. "Why?"

"Mori's decided you're a distraction." She shot you a pointed look. "Especially to that of Nakahara. Now, get your things before I have you escorted out."

Your ears were ringing, your vision blurred by tears at how cold and sterile this all felt.

You went into your office for the last time, grabbing the thread kit and books out of your drawer as you made your way down the hall, looking back to see your replacement excitedly taking over the spot that was once yours.

Goodbye college, goodbye easy money, goodbye Chuuya.

You were able to hold yourself together on the train ride home and on the walk back, but the minute you made it into your apartment and closed the door behind you, everything all spilled out at once. Your crafts and manga falling from your hands as you sank down to the floor and sobbed.

You thought nothing could've been as mortifying as your first day with Port Mafia, but your last day had proved to be far worse. You were right back at square one and it felt terrible.

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The next few days were a blur of filling out online job applications and revamping your resume. You'd hardly eaten. Hardly showered. Hardly done anything that involved getting out of bed.

It was Sunday and rent was due tomorrow. You'd done the math in your head - you had enough money in your savings account to live here comfortably for the next three months without any additional income. If you really pushed yourself and lived uncomfortably, you could probably even skate by for four.

But no matter how much you tried to remind yourself that there was time, you still couldn't shake the feeling of failure that you'd been left with. If you'd been fired for other reasons, it might not have hurt as bad, but the fact that it really was your fault haunted you.

You took a breath, looking over yourself in the bathroom mirror. A combination of three-day old clothes and a knotted side-bun staring back at you. You decided if you were going to continue to sulk, you could at least do it in some fresh pajamas and washed hair.

The hot water felt good beading across your skin as you scrubbed off the grime and regret that had been stuck on you since the day you’d been let go. The air filling with the smell of vanilla as you exfoliated your legs and ran a conditioning treatment through your tangled locks.

You still didn't feel great, but you felt better and that was a start.

You threw on a white tank-top with a pair of oversized grey sweatpants, running a brush through your hair when you heard the buzz of your doorbell. You froze, looking down at your phone to see the time 11:11 flash across your screen.

You hadn't had a visitor since you'd moved here, let alone had someone stop by at almost midnight.

Your footsteps were light as you crept down your hallway, cautiously peeking through the slit in your door watching him impatiently ring the buzzer again, running a hand along the back of his neck while he waited.

"Chuuya?"

"You'd make a terrible doorman, y'know that?"

It was the first time you'd laughed in the last six days, your arms wrapping around him before you even had the chance to think about what you were doing.

He didn't seem to mind though, his hands locking around your waist as you both pulled each other closer. "How did you -" Your thoughts were everywhere. "How did you find my address?"

He let out a slight laugh, his breath fanning across your neck. “I told you it'd be me and you when I got back.”

There was something so sincere about the way he said it. Something so overwhelming about the way he was looking at you. Out of all the things you'd lost recently, you were incredibly thankful he wasn't one of them.

You let him in, locking the door as he followed you down the hall.

“Sorry," you said sheepishly, realizing that you were about to bring him into the messiest part of your apartment. "It's not always like this."

He took a moment to look over your bedroom. The thumb-tacked pictures of you and your friends that decorated the space above your bed. The string lights and cloud-patterned tapestry adorning the walls. The matching baby-pink sheets and comforter set.

It looked like you. It smelled like you. And no matter how many clothes there might've been scattered across the floor or mugs piled up on your nightstand, it was still way cozier than the hotels he'd been staying at over the last two weeks.

"Looks fine to me." He shrugged, taking off his jacket and tossing it onto a velvet chair next to your dresser. "How've things been since I've been gone?" he asked, taking a seat next to you on the bed with a small smirk. "You and Akutagawa official yet?"

Your eyebrows furrowed as you stared back at him, "Mori didn't tell you?"

"Tell me what?"

"I, um..." Your gaze was suddenly on the hem of your shirt as you began to fidget with it instead of looking at him. "I got fired."

"Mori fired you?" There was a sobering sharpness to his voice as he repeated it. "For what?"

You knew he'd find out one way or another, but it was still embarrassing having to relive your conversation with Kyoto. "For 'being a distraction.'" you sighed, your eyes hesitantly dragging up to his. "To you."

There was a brief moment of silence and then, a laugh.

“Huh,” he mused. “Well they're gonna be in for a real fuckin' surprise when you come in tomorrow then.”

You shook your head at him in quiet confusion. "Chuuya, I can't just show back up. Kyoto threatened to have me escorted out when I took more than five minutes to get my stuff out of my office."

His brow arched in a way that made your heart skip a beat.

"Did she?" The question was somehow calm despite the scornful undertone it carried. "Well," he breathed, gently tucking a piece of hair behind your ear. "She's gonna really hate it when the entire building has to hear me fucking you. Every. Single. Day."

A sudden warmth washed over you, beginning at your cheeks and ending at your core as you blinked back at him cluelessly. "What are you talking about?"

"You're gonna be my personal assistant." The smirk he was wearing was lethal. "And I'll pay you more than that asshole ever did. Weekends off. Full benefits. Alla that."

"Are you -" He'd never lied to you before and you weren't sure why he'd start now, but you were struggling to wrap your mind around the fact that you'd just gone from being unemployed to promoted in a matter of minutes. "Are you serious?"

"Well yeah," He said simply, his grin softening a bit. "I mean, who else is gonna clean my office before I go on trips?"

You both smiled this time before your lips were immediately back on his. Eager, unreserved, bliss.

He fell back into the bed with you on top of him, his hands gliding along your curves while you straddled him. The flimsy straps of your tank-top slipping down your arms as you hovered over him, kissing and nipping at his neck.

He didn't care if you left marks on him. Didn't care if he showed up tomorrow smelling like your perfume with blatantly obvious bites covering his collarbone. He wanted everyone to know if they didn't already. Wanted them to stare and whisper and drop fucking dead at the sight of the two of you walking in together. It made him feral just thinking about it.

Your hips were rocking against him, your center aligned perfectly with his as you moaned at the friction your movements were creating. You could feel him growing hard beneath you, his fingers tugging at the waistband of your sweats.

"Here." he said in-between breaths, helping you out of them and tossing them onto the floor.

You started to pick up where you left off, but he stopped you, swiftly undoing his belt and adding his pants and boxers into the sea of discarded clothing too. You hadn't even been able to see it until now. Hadn't been able to fully appreciate the length and fucking girth of his cock up until this very moment.

You left another kiss on his neck and then on his chest and then on his torso, meticulously leaving them all over while making your descent down to the one place you so desperately wanted to be.

He watched you with wide eyes, your hand wrapping perfectly around him as you looked up and slowly ran your tongue along the side of his base.

"Fuuuck." His voice was heady, his hands tangling into your hair as you made your way up to his tip.

You opened your mouth wider, almost wondering how it was going to fit, but you managed. Taking him inch by inch, going down further each time until you developed a steady rhythm.

You understood why he liked going down on you so much. The noises he was making were gorgeous. Groaning out sweet little nothings the faster you went. "Doin' so fucking good for me, baby." "God, you're so pretty, y'know that?"

You kept one hand on him, gliding him in out of your mouth as the other trailed down to your clit. Feeling your own slick between your fingers only made you all the more blitzed out. You were sucking and moaning and watching him stare down at you like you had put the stars in the sky as you fingered yourself while somehow still staying focused on him.

"C'mere." It was the first coherent thing he'd said since your tongue had so lavishly graced him.

He gave your hair a gentle tug, pulling you back up so that you were almost sitting on top of him.

"I need to feel you so fuckin' bad, you have no idea." he breathed, lining himself up with you, feeling how wet you were before you'd even lowered yourself onto him.

His hands rested on your hips, your grip back around his base as you centered yourself over him.

It’d been so much just to take in your mouth, you were almost afraid of how bad this would hurt, but he was aware of his size. Letting you go at your own pace as he helped keep you steady.

The stretch he provided you with from the first couple of inches alone was noticeable, but heavenly. Your eyebrows knitting together as you looked back at him. A dazed, poutiness taking over you the further down you went.

You took him in deeper and deeper until finally, you were fully riding him.

"There you go, fuck - just like that."

He watched your head lull back, your hand reaching for his as you continued to grind against him. Both of you losing control as he began to thrust into you.

Your eyes went wide, his name echoing across the room while your walls spasmed around him.

"Sucha good girl."

His praises only made you go faster, one of your hands still locked around his and the other now palming at your chest. Squeezing your nipple between your index and ring finger as you looked back down at him. "Chuuya - 'm -"

It was hard to tell where his moans stopped and yours began, the carnal sounds synchronizing the deeper he plunged into you.

He felt another clench, and then, he was suddenly drowning in you. Completely unable to hold himself together anymore as you soaked him.

"Cum inside me." you whimpered, "Please, Chuuya. I wanna feel it. Please, please - fuck, baby, please.”

It didn't take you begging to convince him, but it certainly made it happen faster.

His ocean eyes rolled back as he thrusted into you, absolutely enamored by the sounds you were making. The way you were pleading and pouting as he filled you.

It somehow made every daydream he’d had about you seem lackluster in comparison. You were beautiful you were his.

You both stilled for a moment, trying to catch your breath before looking back at each other with the same exhausted smile.

He pulled out of you slowly, letting you collapse onto his chest as he ran light fingers through your hair. "You should probably set an alarm for tomorrow." He exhaled. "I heard your new boss is a real asshole."

"Oh yeah," You mused, leaning up so that your lips were ghosting his. "He's the worst."

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[northstarscowboyhat]

What would happen if Lucky Clover was going to pay Toriel a visit after years, how would she react?

The emotional shock of being so sure all the human children previously in your care died at some point, only to find out one of them survived to adulthood without you even knowing. You see them with the adults who have cared for them in your absence, and you can't help but be so aware that it could've been you.

(They'd probably have a chat and keep in touch via their connections with Frisk, but there'd be a lot of awkward trepidation between them. Toriel feels a lot of guilt over not caring for Clover, and given that they only knew her for five minutes in this timeline, Clover feels a bit awkward. Like she's projecting grief that isn't theirs onto them.)

[felassan]

Snippets. 🐺💜

For Game Informer’s July 17th DA:TV article, "BioWare On Returning To The Dragon Age Series, 10 Years After Inquisition", the article is still titled as such on its own page, but it looks like on the GI DA:TV Hub page its listing was updated to "Dragon Age: The Veilguard Is 'Respectful And Referential' To Previous Games Without Making Them Mandatory"

[previous comment for context - Brenon: "we do have "decision saves" before big choice moments, but there are still a bunch that depend on a whole mess of stuff you've done earler...so yeah...RIP"]. Derek on this: "Choice and consequence, baby." [source]

[context: DA official Twitter's news about what's coming in August] Derek: "Buckle up!" [source]

Bryony Corrigan (Rook) on the strike: "I care a lot about this game! @/dragonage. Gutted we are unable to speak more about the game for now but absolutely in solidarity with actors in the US. I hope @/EquityUK are also fighting for better protection against AI clauses in the UK too…!" [source]

Matt Rhodes recently wrote to his mailing list that "The project I’ve been working on for many years is nearing completion. In my rare free moments, I’ve been starting to organize concept art to start posting after the game ships." [source] So it sounds like DA:TV is nearing completion and that he will be posting DA:TV concept art that he created after release. [This] is the link to his website where you can view his art, including some existing DA:TV and previous DA game concept art. If you click the envelope symbol on this page, that's how you can subscribe to the mailing list

from Community Councilmember Ladyinsanity - Lucanis x Rook apparently might be an "angst pairing" and there's maybe another one of these in the game also...? 👀 [source]

A user mentioned that they aren't keen on the word "roadmap". Michael Gamble explained: "all it means is a list of cool things you can expect to see us showing." [source]

Bellara's family name Lutare wasn't recently changed as some users wondered, it was Lutare at least a year ago during development. It seems it was just mis-printed or mis-reported in the GI coverage [source]

This article describes DA:TV as the most beautiful game the writer saw at SGF. It says the prologue is dated 9 years after DA:I. "Varric isn’t a ginger so much as a grizzled gray fox now". On Solas, he "wants to tear down the Veil that separates Thedas from the world of demons, restoring his people’s immortality and glory and sacrificing thousands in the process. But when his ritual goes awry, two of his most ancient and powerful adversaries are released. They seek only to finish what they started millennia ago – the complete and utter domination of our world." The game moves quite seamlessly from action to cutscene, and in the prologue "every cutscene is clearly building toward something larger". Position matters in combat. There is an accessibility option which involves the path-tracing of enemies' ranged attacks. At the beginning of the demo, the devs mentioned that they thought about the way different lighting affects your character. " The animations associated with combat are complex for one reason: responsive character features." CC has "inclusion of thick curly hair and capturing the tightly curled texture of Black hairstyles and natural hair", customizable shoulder-width and "a much-welcomed broad spectrum of skin tones—capturing both cool and warm undertones of both white and brown skin". The article highlighted the fluid movement of cloth. The writer also said, "I’m sure other Summer Game Fest previews will have a lot to say on the evolving relationship between Varric and Solas". [source] ((I don't remember seeing this article til now, it's from June though so I either missed it or have seen it and forgotten. also I don't know how accurate it is but the writer was one of the attendees of the DA:TV demo at SGF))

[character limit text break!]

Malcolm: "When I joined DA:Ve I was really hoping there'd be a romanceable dwarf companion and boy howdy did that come true. Harding is ☀️delightful☀️" [source]

[context: this Tumblr post of some neat art] Malcolm: "This is amazing and I fully went "oh wow that really sounds like Emmrich" before remembering that Nick Boraine is in fact a entire human person." [source]

User: "Speaking of Stalker, as a player the description of Bellara and Veil Jumper i've heard so far, alongside their exploration of Arlathan, somehow reminds me of Clear Sky and Chornobyl in Stalker series..." John Epler: "great eye! roadside picnic, Annihilation and STALKER were all absolutely inspirations" [source]

John Epler: "time to slowly make my way home after an awesome 4 days. thanks for an amazing experience to everyone who was a part of it. back to work." [source]

User: "We know there are returning characters in The Veilguard, so my question is: How would you and the rest of the writers go about writing a returning character who was originally primarily written by a writer who is no longer at the studio? What is the process?" Trick Weekes: "1. Watch videos to get the performance, how the character speaks. 2. Don’t try to replicate the character exactly. Allow them to have grown. Morrigan in DAI wasn’t Morrigan in DAO. She’d grown up. 3. Trust Character Art and Performance/VO. As soon as Morrigan walks in and talks in DAI, it works." [source]

Ali Hillis (Harding) on Twitter: "@dragonage @/bioware @/BioWarePulse @/ea #/DragonAge #/SDCC #/SDCC2024 FOLLOW ON INSTA FOR MORE!" [source]

Alex Jordan (Rook): "To all the D&D loving Dragon Age fans out there, let me tell you about my D&D group, made up of faces from the games industry! Including the voices of Geralt from The Witcher, Clive from Final Fantasy XVI, and Noah from Xenoblade! We are ⁦@/NaturalSix ⁩#/DragonAge" [source]

Erika Ishii (Rook): "Grateful I got to spend SDCC celebrating my roles in 2 games I love. Thank you to the devs (including laid-off workers who deserve full credit!), my friends, and the community. This is the last you’ll hear from me about my games from struck companies until they sign an interim agreement or the strike is won. Keep playing games, but share info from the union and let people know we’re taking a stand for all creatives. See you on the other side! ✊🏼🎮" [source]

Jeff Berg (Rook): "Damn, I love making video games. It’s like the perfect blending of theatre on film, where an actor is encouraged to collaborate and let their imaginations soar. And damn, do I ever love the incredible support from the fans of this incredible medium. Unfortunately, we’re in a time of upheaval in the industry. So let me make it perfectly clear: Video game performers deserve fair wages, safe working conditions and A.I. protections. I call on the employers to #/LevelUpTheContract. Guys, this is no single player game. We need you on our team. #/SagAftraStrong #/VideoGameStrike". Text in the accompanying video reads “Video game performers are stuck in a grind. AI is stealing voices, and companies are hoarding profits. The future of voiceover and performance capture artists is at stake. But out fight isn’t single-player. Whether you’re a gamer, a fan, a performer, a labor ally, or just someone believes in fairness. Keep video games people powered. We need you on our team. Video game companies must offer AI protections to ALL video game performers. Join me and show your support for those who bring our favorite games to life.” [source]

Jessica Clark (Neve): "Aaah a true bucket list moment!! Thrilled to play Neve Gallus a Private Investigator & one of the companions in the upcoming DragonAge The Veilguard Video Game!! We are appearing at the San Diego Comic Con as we speak!! With so much thanks & appreciation for the most fantastic team @/bioware & inspiring fellow cast members including (not limited to) @/missalihillis @/nickboraine @/zach.mendez @/jeffberg1 & more 🙏🏽 Draon Age The Veilguard releases this Fall 2024 & from what I've seen... It's truly epic!! You will love it & yes, it's worth the wait. (SAG-AFTRA issued us a specific window to promote & celebrate at Comic Con & from Sunday night onwards we will all be joining our fellow actors in the picket line for the Video Game Strike)." Text in the accompanying video reads "I’ve wanted to share this for so long! Thrilled to reveal that I play Neve Gallus in the upcoming Dragon Age The Veilguard!! Appearing at Comic Con San Diego as we speak” [source]

[source]

Jessica: "Last night's Comic Con San Diego's Fandom red carpet celebrating Dragon Age The Veilguard! Releasing this Fall 2024!!" [source]

Zach Mendez (Lucanis): "A truly amazing first day of SD Comic Con at the @/dragonagegame poster signing at @/darkhorsecomics booth. Thank you to the fans who made my first con unforgettable #/sdcc /#sdcomiccon #/dragonage #/darkhorsecomics #/lucanisdellamorte #/voiceacting #/bioware #/eagames #/theveilguard #/babysfirstcon" [source]

Zach: "Dragon Age. Dancing. Derulo. Thanks @/fandom for a killer party" [source]

Nick Boraine (Emmrich): "Thank you @/bioware @/ea and @/comic_con - had an incredible time! #/dragonage #/theveilgaurd #/emmrichvolkarin @/zach.mendez @/missalihillis @/thejessicaroseclark - can’t wait for the fall release date." [source]

Ali: "Honored and thrilled to have been a part of another epic @/bioware story w @/ea . Thanks from the bottom of my heart to the whole team! We worked hard, and put our all into this one. Can’t wait to see you all at #/sdcc2024 this week to celebrate @/dragonagegame #/dragonageveilguard" [source]

Ali: "1st day of San Diego Comic Con 2024 !! The lines were long and the signings so much fun! Met some really nice fans, hung out w dragon age performance director @/ashley___barlow , companions @/thejessicaroseclark @/zach.mendez & Nick Boraine . So SO grateful for this #/dragonageveilguard family!" [source]

Ali: "I love every one of these people. There, I said it! What a warm welcome we received! Thanks to ALL! For EVERYTHING!" [source]

Ali on SDCC: "Gooooooood times. ❤️" [source]

Here is a 'behind the scenes at the DA:TV SDCC panel' photo -

[source]

Here is a photo of Erika Ishii with Rook's blue knife -

[source]

Here is an excerpt from Brianne Battye's website:

Text reads: "Dragon Age: The Veilguard Defy the gods. Rise as Rook, Dragon Age’s newest hero. Be who you want to be and play how you want to play as you fight back and lead your team of seven companions, each with their own rich story. Together, you will become the Veilguard. Coming soon From EA/BioWare. I was responsible for a companion story arc, significant side characters, faction content, exploration content, and helping develop and expand worldbuilding lore."

[source]

Also, last year Zach Mendez (Lucanis) made a prior podcast appearance:

Zach: "I was lucky enough over the pandemic to have just hit a really nice commercial, and then I got this beautiful job on a video game where I was doing motion capture. Motion capture? Okay, so you put on this leotard, this black suit, and those little dots on, and you do all the motion for a video game, and you get to do the voice, and they put all these black lines on your face, so they capture your performance and whatnot. And so I was doing that and had some commercial money, so throughout the pandemic, for the past few years, I’ve just been getting to live off acting, which is great." -- Zach: "[Voiceover is] what I'm working on right now." -- Zach: "My father's from Spain." -- Zach: "I'm currently working on a video game, I can't say which video game." "It is a big one, it's not a big deal, it's a big one, I'm one of the main characters, it's not that big a deal." The interviewer asked about how acting in video games works. "Somebody's giving some performance that of course, they layer on imaging afterwards, like in graphics, right? But you're giving facial expressions, that's what gives it the reality, that's what I find so fascinating about motion capture, is that, you get to give big performances, because you're playing these crazy characters in crazy situations, and a lot of your performance is coming through in the final product which is, just gets me excited about the future of things about all the different ways. It's my voice, a lot of my facial features, I voice, I think, one or two characters in this game."

[source (dated ~a year ago. source link isn’t work-appropriate. I don’t recommend the podcast)]

[zarla-s]

Do you get anxious whenever you start drawing comic pages? Is that connected to ending of Handplates? It's like you're trying to find any random activity to avoid drawing comics. And your usual sketches get less and less dialogue. I'm asking because I'm worried and I don't know what's happening. D:

Hmm... I haven't really thought of things in these terms? I was like "eh that can't be right" but then I did a quick look back and it does look like I've been doing solo shots or single/two panel comics for a while, haha. I've just got a lot of small ideas or images I wanted to get out recently. And I've been writing a lot of fic! Which I haven't done in a while, which is nice. Writing a fic (particularly lengthy ones, like the Hell jailbreak or the hanahaki one) is a lot more time consuming than people might think. I started the hanahaki one in early December and only just posted it a few days ago...

I was doing Handplates for such a long time, like seven+ years and all, that I'm assuming the vast majority of you out there never really knew me when I wasn't doing it. The thing is that Handplates is a massive outlier - I never did any project of that scale before, or one that updated that consistently or took that much constant effort. Never! Most of the time before when I'd start a big project I'd get distracted and never finish it, or there'd be huge hiatuses between updates (Vargas). It was super weird to have such a big project I so consistently updated and worked on. It's not common for me! I'm amazed looking back on it all that I was so committed to it when so many other ones fell flat.

Handplates took up a LOT of my time, so with it over I've been doing some other things I wouldn't have had much time for before. Playing some games, taking screencaps, writing fic, web design, little small experiments like all my pixel stuff. Just trying out different things! I don't think I'd say I was anxious about doing a comic page... it's more so that I'm just tired, I think. I was doing these huge elaborate pages that'd take days to finish for so long - now that I don't have to do it anymore, my brain just wants to relax, haha.

The reason for the slow updates on Defrag is really that I keep getting stuck lol. It's not really focused like Handplates and I still don't really know how it'll end. I keep getting stuck on what should happen next, so I keep putting it off. It's just me being a lazy writer rather than having anxiety about doing a page. |D

At least, I think that's what it is...

[deakyjoe]

Love To Hate

Pairing: Dieter Bravo x Reader (fem, afab, she/her)

Category: enemies to lovers, smut, coworkers to lovers

Summary: You hate Dieter Bravo more than anything. So why are you asking him to sleep with you?

Warnings: 18+, smut (!!), protected p in v sex, f receiving oral, brief vaginal fingering, multiple orgasms, thigh riding/grinding, groping, kissing, body worship (he loves tits and ass), dirty talk, praise, size kink (??), Dieter has a horse cock, crying, Dieter’s a teasing dick, enemies to lovers, coworkers to lovers, insecurities, sex/masturbation problems (for reader), mentions of unsatisfactory sex, mentions of drug use, reader is shorter than Dieter, let me know if I missed anything!

Word count: 8.8k (woah!)

A/N: I have a series in mind for this so the story between these two could continue. But for now it works as a standalone. Enjoy!

Consider buying me a coffee :)

There was no one in the world you disliked more than Dieter Bravo. It was a shame that he knew you better than anyone else ever had.

The two of you had had the unfortunate experience of always ending up in the same place. It had started during a chemistry read for a movie a few years back. Neither of you had ended up getting the job but it was undeniable that there was chemistry between you. Just not the kind of chemistry needed to play lovers on screen. Let's just say that you'd gotten off on the wrong foot and had never really recovered from it.

Next you'd both attended a charity event together, the both of you somehow being the star beneficiaries of the evening. The night included a lot of strained smiles, forced conversation and fake laughter.

Then there'd been the year long shoot you'd both winded up on for some up and coming director who'd begged for the both of you to appear in his movie, the promises of awards from every inch of the world for the both of you afterwards. And when award season came around, it turned out he was right. Awards did come flooding in. But for Dieter. Not you. It didn't help that you had to see the smug actor give the same speech at every ceremony as he graciously accepted the accolades.

And with that came the press junkets and the rounds of interviews, panels, and question and answer sessions. You pretty much saw Dieter Bravo every single day for almost two years. And the distaste for him never really went away. Sadly, this meant that he came to know the ins and outs of your life. Dieter could recite your schedule, list every single detail of your close friends and family's lives and could read your emotions like an open book. He knew you well. Too well. And he used this to his advantage.

And here you were again. On another movie with him. Somehow. You didn't know how it'd come to be as you'd made your agent swear never to put you in a project with him again. But shit happens.

After weeks of endless negotiations about budget, you'd finally arrived on set for rehearsals and table reads and the director had already warned that you were behind schedule. Shooting hadn't even started yet and you were already regretting it.

It didn't help when you'd been told that the hotel room that had been provided for you by the production company was right next to Dieter's. When you'd gotten there, you'd just stared at your shared wall for ten minutes and wondered how sound proof it was. You knew his reputation, had witnessed it even, and didn't fancy the sleepless nights if he was bringing someone new back to his room every night for the foreseeable future.

When you arrived for day one of table reads, you rushed around introducing yourself to everyone. You weren't the most sociable person ever, funny considering your career choice, and avoided one particular person whose gaze followed you around the room the whole time.

It was impossible not to feel his eyes on you. When Dieter's dark brown eyes latched onto a target, he wouldn't let go until he had his claws sunk in. In your case, it was different. He didn't view you as someone to sleep with but someone to torment with his presence instead.

You managed to successfully ignore him until your over enthusiastic director, Rodney, felt the need to introduce the two of you despite him knowing that the two of you already knew each other.

You looked up at Dieter, preparing yourself for the worst. His eyes looked clearer than usual, not as glazed over. You figured he'd been to rehab recently and was temporarily sober. That happened often. But never lasted long.

"Hi." You nodded up at him, brushing off the director's superficial nonsense that he'd spouted in attempt to make the two of you sudden best friends.

Dieter didn't return the greeting. "How're your parents?"

Small talk was meaningless between the two of you. Dieter knew everything about you. Everything. He'd met your parents on more than one occasion at different after parties, wrap parties, even on set once or twice. You hated to say that your mother loved him and your father liked him more than anyone else you'd ever introduced him to in this industry.

"Fine. Grandparents now." You replied, watching Rodney ease himself out of the conversation and wander off.

"Sister and her husband finally managed to conceive, huh?" He asked and you nodded in response despite the weird way he'd worded it. "You're an aunt. Cute."

"Yeah. How're you?" You sighed and looked over his shoulder, wondering how long it would take before the snappy responses started between the two of you.

He smirked. "Good."

"Good." You cleared your throat. "I hear that we're neighbours."

"Hm, lucky me."

Your eyes snapped back to his, not quite getting the tone in his voice. "Try to keep the noise down."

The smirk on his face was punchable. "I'll try my best."

You scoffed. "Yeah, okay."

Suddenly, you were swept away by other cast and crew members who were just dying to meet you. That was strange. You were used to people wanting to meet Dieter. But, as you found out from someone on the makeup team, you were the hot commodity on this set. A sense of pride filled your bones at the sound of that.

The days flew by. Table reads were completed, along with a few spontaneous rehearsals. You avoided Dieter at all costs, trying not to interact with him if you weren't reciting words from a script. And it was going pretty well. Except for the nights.

The walls were apparently extremely thin in the hotel you were staying in, just as you’d feared. You knew this how exactly? By the very clear sex sounds that would practically shake the wall you shared with Dieter. Moans, groans, a squeaking bed, a rattling headboard, the occasional scream even. It was torture. And you could do nothing apart from bury your head under a pillow. Unless you developed the confidence to go knocking on his door to tell him to cut it out. Which you didn't.

It didn't escape your notice that he was clearly accompanied by a new person every night, the tones of their noises changing each time. It also didn't escape you that Dieter was clearly very good in bed. If the sounds of his partners were any indication at least. They all seemed very enthusiastic to be in his company.

You grew used to it after a few days. Mainly because you had to. There was no point losing sleep over something you already knew about Dieter. He liked sex. A lot. And he had a reputation for a reason. It just pissed you off that you had to hear it. And that it seemed to come so easily to him...

It was devastating news to you when the director told you that the first day of shooting was going to be one of the sex scenes of the movie. You'd initially attempted to persuade him to move it later into the production but he had insisted that there was no need for that. The years of you and Dieter knowing, and hating, each other had been enough to build the chemistry needed for the movie. All the sexual tension was apparently already there. You’d disagreed with that last point.

When the day finally came, you were tense. More tense than usual anyway. The only thing reassuring you was the meeting you'd had with the intimacy coordinator who had told you that every detail you'd told her, everything that you didn't want to happen, would be implimented to make you as comfortable as possible.

You'd been placed in a bed, naked from the waist up and you had been there alone for longer than you should've been. After so many years you shouldn't be surprised that Dieter was late. It was sort of his specialty. The fact that this was the first day of shooting was mildly annoying however.

When he finally appeared in nothing but his underwear and a robe, the latter of which he shed as soon as he saw you waiting for him in the bed, he sent half hearted apologies to everyone in the room. When he got to you the apology was a lot more sarcastic. "And I am eternally sorry for keeping you waiting, sweetheart."

"Whatever." You rolled your eyes and let your head fall back against the pillow, teeth clenching at the sound of the pet name he’d gifted you all those years ago when you’d first met.

Dieter grinned at the reaction and crawled on top of you after both the director and the intimacy coordinator had instructed him of the positioning they wanted. His legs were between yours, an elbow on either side of your head to keep him slightly elevated so he wasn't leaning all of his body weight on you.

You avoided his eyes, having him hovering over you like this with your tits out was embarrassing. Especially when his own bare chest was so close to rubbing against yours.

Dieter lowered his head so his lips brushed against the shell of your ear. "Don't look so tense. It's okay. You're gorgeous and I won't look if you don't want me to."

That surprised you. What surprised you even more is that he looked genuine when he pulled back to meet your eyes again.

You shook your head. "It's fine."

The director suddenly cursed loudly. "Dieter, relax! We're having some issues with the mics so just do whatever for a minute."

"Sure thing, boss!" Dieter called back, sitting up and pulling the blankets up to cover you in the process. "So you don't get cold."

You sat up and clutched the blanket over your chest. "Thanks."

It was freaking you out with how nice he was being. Dieter Bravo was anything but a gentleman. Yet here he was... being almost chivalrous.

And then he winked at you. "Nice rack by the way."

Yeah, okay, you expected him to ruin it.

"Charming, Bravo. Really." You snapped.

"Just stating facts." He shrugged.

You frowned at him and looked away.

"Hey." His voice was soft.

You looked back at him.

"Sorry, it was a joke." His brown eyes were wide and apologetic.

You ran your tongue over your teeth, aggravation rippling through you. "It's fine."

He shook his head, curls bouncing against his forehead. "No, it's not. I don't want to make you uncomfortable."

Your frown deepened. "Isn't it your life's mission to irritate me?"

He grinned. "Irritate you? Yes. Make you uncomfortable at work? No."

Before you had the chance to reply, the microphones were fixed and the two of you were instructed to get back into places. You both settled back into position, a sigh escaping you. It was difficult to believe that this was the first thing you were filming. Not even the conversation leading up to this particular section of the scene. You questioned the director's choices.

"Right, so we know what we're doing, yeah?" Rodney called to you both.

You nodded but Dieter raised his hand like he had a question.

"I can't remember. Are we touching tits or not?"

The intimacy coordinator looked towards you for a moment for confirmation before nodding. "Yes. Touching breasts is fine, Dieter."

He hummed in acknowledgment before looking back at you as he flexed his fingers and rolled his wrists. "Gotta get the circulation going so my hands aren't too cold. Don't want your nipples freezing off."

You stared back up at him in slight shock. "That would be unfortunate, yes."

He smiled and pressed the backs of his fingers to your cheek. "That temperature okay?"

"Not nipple freezing cold."

Just maybe nipple hardening cold.

You pushed the thought from your head and gave him a nod to assure him that it was fine. "Let's just get this started."

He laughed at your clear disdain of the situation and looked towards the small group of crew members to give them the go ahead.

It went pretty smoothly. All the technology continued to work for the rest of the scene luckily and neither you nor Dieter messed up too much to call for reshoots. You simply just gave each other a lot of open mouthed, but tongueless, kisses with no emotion behind them whatsoever and made noises of satsifaction in all the right places as he groped at you gently but confidently. It was a surprisingly simple day of shooting. The director had decided that this would be all you did for the first day, wanting a few good angles that would take up a lot of time, and didn't want to push you into doing more than necessary.

When lunch rolled around, you grabbed a salad from the catering tent outside and took a seat on a table by yourself. You wanted a few moments of peace to relax before you got back into the swing of shooting. The peace was short lived as your least favourite person took a seat directly opposite you, a sandwich on his plate.

You stared at him with scorn. "I wasn't aware we did lunch together."

Dieter looked back at you amused. "Well, considering that I've felt you up now, I thought it was only fitting to grace you with my presence over a lovely meal." His eyes lowered to your salad. "Why the fuck did you get that?"

You poked at the sad plate in front of you with your fork. "It was the only thing that looked remotely fresh."

He looked at his own food. "I do have to say that my sandwich looks a few days old."

"Days?" You gasped. "Try decades!"

Dieter scoffed. "Well, some of us can't afford to eat a salad. Some of us are trying to maintain our physiques."

He was referencing the so-called dad bod he'd developed over the last few years. People loved it. His cheeks were fuller than they used to be, somehow making his dimples more pronounced when he smiled, and his stomach was now softer. It was hot. That was for sure. You held your own quiet appreciation for the way he looked. But that wasn't something you would ever voice to him. Not in a million years.

"Maybe some carbs would make you loosen up." He added on, frowning down at his sandwich now that you'd both acknowledged how it most definitely hadn't been made that day. "Get that stick out your ass."

Something in you snapped at that. You did not have a stick up your ass. You did not need to loosen up. So you did the thing you'd told yourself you wouldn't. You decided to confront him.

You played it cool at first. "How long have we known each other?"

He looked back up at you, eyes squinted in confusion. "A long time. Too long even. Why?"

"Would it be acceptable for me to ask you for a small favour?" You stirred your salad with the fork, not easily done, in an attempt to seem nonchalant.

That caught his attention, giving you his full focus as his head tilted to the side slightly. "That depends on what this small favour is."

"When you have... fun time with your... friends could you play some music? Or better yet, go back to their place? Walls are thin." You hated the words that came out of your mouth. Why didn't you just say sex? Too late now.

His eyebrows quirked at your strange terminology. "When I what?"

"You know." You waved your hand, determined to stick with it now.

"Have sex? Fuck? Bang? Screw?" He asked and you nodded. "Come on, we're both adults. You can say sex to my face. Especially since you've heard it apparently."

Your brows pushed together unhappily. "Fine. When you have sex."

"Only if you promise to play music when you fail to get yourself off when you masturbate." He finally took a bite of his sandwich and immediately grimaced.

Your heart dropped down to your stomach. "What?"

He smirked, knowing he had you. "Walls are thin. You're loud. And frustrated."

"You hear me?" You knew the walls were thin. You didn't know that they were that thin. You always tried to stay as quiet as possible.

Dieter prodded at his sandwich with his finger a final time before pushing it away. "It'd be pretty hard not to. Maybe I should introduce you to one of my friends. To help you, I mean."

"Wouldn't work." You mumbled, not really for him to hear.

His interest was piqued further. "Oh, so a full orgasm mental block then?"

You clenched your teeth together. "I hate you."

"Unfortunate considering I'm the only person capable of reading you like an open book." He grinned at you, fully sarcastic. "Hmm, maybe that's what you need actually."

"What?"

"Someone capable of reading you like a book. To see what's really working, or not working, for you." He looked you up and down quickly.

You scoffed. "You better not be suggesting what I think you're suggesting."

His voice dipped down in both volume and tone. "You know I'd be better than anyone else you've ever had. You've heard my work. I'm exceptional and come highly recommended."

You looked away from him. "That's not funny, Dieter."

"You're sexually frustrated?"

You huffed. "Yes. Very."

"And I'm good at sex and know you better than anyone. Is it not a reasonable conclusion?" He threw his hands in the air as if to emphasise how obvious the solution should be.

"You're ridiculous." You hissed, pushing up from the table and storming away. You hated him. Despised him.

"The orgasms would make you feel better." He called after you.

You didn't fail to notice the use of the plural - orgasms.

Luckily for you the rest of the day consisted of close ups of just you sprawled on the bed. No Dieter needed. But you didn't fail to notice how he hovered around the set anyway and observed. His brown eyes burned into your skin for the remainder of filming.

When you were done, you retreated to your dressing room and got dressed as quickly as you could. A car was called at your request and you were back in your hotel room ordering room service before anyone even had the opportunity to invite you out for drinks to celebrate the first day of filming.

You needed to be alone. For many reasons, including the fact that you just liked your solitude. But the biggest one, the reason that had been plaguing your mind since it had been suggested to you, was the idea of sleeping with Dieter. Not being able to believe yourself at how utterly ridiculous it was, but you were seriously considering it.

You knew he was good in bed. The sex noises you'd heard through the wall didn't lie. But he was the one person in the world that you disliked more than anyone else you had ever met. So why was the idea of it playing around in your head so much?

When you heard Dieter's own hotel room door close, you were surprised that he seemed to be alone. Abnormal. For him at least. But you ignored it.

And you ignored the ache between your legs that was bothering you as you showered and changed into your pyjamas. You ignored the way your heart hammered in your chest as you crawled under the bedsheets. You ignored the fact that you were still wide awake after two hours of attemtping to fall asleep.

Well... you ignored it for another thirty minutes before you sighed to yourself and got out of bed, grabbed your room key and tiptoed to your co-star's room. You knocked once quietly and received no answer. So you knocked again, louder and more impatient this time. After a few seconds his door swung open with the quietest of creaks but loud enough to still make you wince. You weren't doing anything wrong technically but the idea of anyone finding out about this made your stomach churn.

Dieter stood there, rumpled from bed, and looked down at you confused. Rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, he mumbled a gravelly question. "Why're you here?"

You hesitated which caught his attention, suddenly sobering up from fatigue and looking more concerned.

"You okay?”

Your jaw ticked with nerves. Fuck it, what did you have to lose? "Your offer."

"My offer?" He looked more confused than before, obviously not recalling your previous conversation.

You sighed, frustratedly. "Yes. About sleeping with you."

He blinked rapidly a couple of times. "I was only teasing. I'm sorry if I offended you-"

You interrupted him before he could go any further and ruin what confidence you'd managed to build up. "No, I'm here to take you up on it."

Dieter said nothing which was not a good sign. He loved to talk, especially to annoy you. Silence meant something bad.

"You were right. I'm sexually frustrated and can't get off. By myself or with anyone." You whispered harshly. "I think you're attractive and you're my best hope at finding out whether I'm just broken or something else is going on."

He looked down at you with softened eyes. Pity. You didn't want his pity. "I don't-"

You cut him off again. "Please."

He paused and then nodded, opening the door wider. "Okay."

You pushed past him. "No one ever finds out about this and we never talk about it again. Is that clear?"

"Crystal." He closed and locked the door behind the two of you. "For the record, I was going to say that I don't think you're broken."

"We'll determine that after you, hopefully, manage to make me come." You planted your hands on your hips.

His eyes raked over you. "You're too stressed. You're not used to casual, are you?"

"No, I can do casual with people I don't know and who definitely don't know me. And you know me too well, Dieter. So, yeah, I'm stressed. Because this-" You gestured between the two of you. "-isn't casual."

"Relax. I'm sure I'll be able to figure out what makes you tick." He smirked, sauntering closer. "I already know what you don't like."

You flinched at that statement. "How?"

"Had a very long conversation with the intimacy coordinator about what was off-limits. Apparently you had a list." A real smile broke across his face as he reached up to pull your hands from your hips, plucking your room key from your fingers and tossing it onto the vanity, before tracing his own fingers across your arms.

Heat prickled the surface of your skin. "Oh."

"Don't look so embarrassed." His hands got to your shoulders and rested there, forcing them down to relax. "Although, you could've told me yourself."

"And have you tease me? No thanks." You scoffed, looking away from him.

He hummed lowly in the back of his throat. "I like to tease you, yes. But I never want to make you feel uncomfortable. Not like that anyway and especially not at work. I told you this."

Your gaze darted back to him, to see if he was being genuine. He was.

Your eyebrows pulled up in uncertainty. "You confuse me."

"I know." His teeth sunk into his bottom lip as he looked you up and down. "You confuse me too."

"How?"

His hands slid up to your neck, warm palms engulfing you. "Coming to me begging to have sex despite claiming to loathe me."

You briefly snapped out of the atmosphere he'd created with his touch and pulled back from him. "I'm not begging."

"I was joking, sweetheart. I'm sorry. You don't have to beg me for this anyway." He tugged you closer to him again.

"What do you mean?" You moved more into his hold.

He chuckled, one hand lowering to circle around your waist and dipping his head to trace the lines of your neck with the tip of his nose. "Nothing. I'm just talking to calm you and make you more pliant."

Your eyelids fluttered shut. "Touch my tits with your icicle hands again and I'm sure we'll get there eventually."

He laughed louder at that, one hand cupping your cheek as he pulled back to look at you. "Are they really that cold?"

"They were earlier. Now they're warmer." You pressed your cheek into his palm, eyes closing at the feeling.

"Leaning on them for too long fucks up my blood flow." He explained, swiping his thumb across your skin. "You're so pretty."

Your eyes shot open to meet his at that. You'd never seen him look so sincere. You'd also never felt the desire to kiss him before. Until now. "Please kiss me." You curled your fists into the front of his shirt and pulled him down to meet your eyeline.

His forehead pushed against yours. "You sure you want this?"

"Positive."

He took that and pressed his lips against yours, soft and tender, barely there. And pulled back again to gauge your reaction.

"More." You whispered, hands sliding up to thread into the hair on the back of his head.

He hummed lowly, a flicker of a smile on his face before he kissed you again. This time it was firmer and held more purpose. You'd never noticed before but Dieter smelt nice. It was comforting as he drew you into his chest, arms wrapped tightly around you. The kisses grew more heated, moving from a few pecks to being open mouthed and longer. He was a good kisser, you begrudgingly noted. Good for now but the part of you that hated him disliked that he was also gifted at this. When his tongue slid into your mouth and pressed up against yours, you tensed up. It wasn't unpleasant. Just a bit of a shock to the system.

Dieter pulled back to look down at you. "Relax. I'll look after you, I promise. Believe me?"

"Yes." You whispered and pulled him back towards you. No one had ever kissed you like this. Dieter understood you. He felt the way your muscles would shift when he did something you didn't like and would immediately pull back, quickly assess the situation and find something else you preferred. His hands lingered in places that made you feel good, kissed you enough so you felt wanted but not too much to overwhelm you. You'd never felt so safe with someone before.

And you never could have imagined the feeling that was swirling around inside you at the notion that he was touching you, kissing you. This was Dieter Bravo. The man you'd hated for years. And yet here he was, making you feel things you'd never felt before this moment. Sure, you'd acknowledged the fact that he was an attractive man when you'd first met him. But the idea of being attracted to him had never crossed your mind until recently. Very recently. It just didn't seem possible.

His hands slid down to your ass, palming the flesh there as he groaned into your mouth at the feeling. It was nice to know that he was enjoying this as well. He crowded you against him, seeming to take an impossible step closer to you.

He broke away from you momentarily. "Trust me?"

"Yes." You nodded slowly, dazed by the fact that it was true. You did trust him. With this at least anyway.

He smiled against your lips at that. "Do you want control or do you want me to take care of you?"

You pondered it for a moment. You didn't even know where you'd start with this. With him. It was an overwhelming thought. Which is why your answer was so natural.

"Take care of me please."

His responding smile was easy, soothing, as he directed you backwards towards the bed until your legs hit the frame.

"We're going to take this slow, okay? So try to have some patience." He cupped your face in his large hands, looking at you seriously.

You huffed. "I can be patient. As long as it's worth my time."

He laughed and kissed you quickly. "I'll make this worth your time."

You giggled against his mouth. "You're very confident in your abilities."

"As are you considering you're here asking me to make you come." He moved to place an open mouthed kiss on your jaw, teeth scraping against your skin. "Get on the bed."

It took a lot of self restraint for Dieter to stop himself from just picking you up and throwing you on the bed. But he promised himself he'd be gentle with you, giving you some power over the situation. After all, you'd asked him to take care of you. So that's exactly what he was going to do.

He didn't need to ask you twice by the seems of it anyway since you dropped onto the bed at his request, bouncing a couple of times before pulling your legs up and sliding yourself backwards towards the pillows. Dieter smothered a gleeful grin at how suddenly eager you seemed to be. Your enthusiam should only help your orgasm problem, as long as he got you to ease up a lot more. You were such a tense person. He tasked himself with rectifying that.

Climbing onto the bed and sitting up on his knees, Dieter looked at you breathing heavily, chest heaving as you waited for him to get closer. He couldn't quite tell if you were anxious or just turned on. He fell forward onto his hands and crawled to you, pushing you onto your back as he moved over you.

Gaze moving towards the way your breasts were straining against your sleep shirt with every inhale, he let a question roll around in his head for a couple of seconds before just deciding to ask it. "On a scale of one to ten, how horny would you say you are right now?"

Your mouth dropped open, that was the last thing you expected him to say with the way his pupils had blown wide as he stared at your chest. "A six. Maybe a seven."

He only grunted in response.

"It might be higher. I can't tell. I'm pretty nervous."

Ah, so anxiety was playing a factor in your breathing rate. Good to know, Dieter thought.

"Let's fix that." He rasped before kissing you again, not hesitating this time to let his tongue roam your mouth. He found he liked the way your legs seemed to automatically wrap around him and pull him closer over you so you were chest to chest.

Your arms wound around his neck, one hand carding through his hair. The two of you barely broke away for breath, the only sound in the room being those of your lips colliding and separating. You were surprised to find how long he kissed you without doing anything else. Most guys would be insisting on getting into your pants right about now. But Dieter hadn't done anything more than grope at your ass, and that had been when you were still standing up.

You liked kissing. Liked it a lot. Especially when the person you were kissing was good at it and seemed to enjoy it as much as you did. So this was nice. Just kissing. You hadn't kissed someone for this long since you were a teenager and still a virgin when making out seemed like the most exciting thing in the world.

You let your hands roam Dieter a little more, allowing them to drift down his back and smooth back up across his shoulders. He was so broad, you realised. How had you never realised how big he was before? He was taller than you, sure. But you had never noticed the sheer size of him before. He was broad shouldered and had large hands. It sent a pulse to your core.

He made you squeal in surprise when he managed to wrap his arms around and underneath you and flipped the two of you so you were on your sides, legs tangled together and not an inch of space between you. Despite the lack of room, you still found yourself pushing into him even more. He encouraged this by gliding a hand to the small of your back and pressing you against him. He groaned into your mouth when your pelvis moved against his, rubbing against his hard on.

Instead of pursuing that like you assumed he would, he grabbed your thigh and hooked your leg over his waist so your clothed pussy pushed against the muscle of his thigh. He could feel the heat of you through two layers of clothing, both your sleep shorts and his own pants. Then his hand slipped over to your ass where he squeezed, causing a gasp to rattle out of you into his mouth, and rocked your hips against his thigh. You felt your clit grinding against him and whined at the feeling it made ripple through you.

"Mm, good girl." He whispered against your lips and rocked you against him again.

It felt good. Better than you expected it to. So you picked up the pace yourself, letting his hand guide you as you ground yourself against his thigh desperately. The sensation was slowly building, very slowly, but it was definitely there. You didn't have the brain capacity to think about the potential orgasm sneaking up on you though as Dieter kept kissing you, despite it becoming messier as you couldn't hold back the noises he was drawing out of you. It became a simple clash of lips and tongues, teeth clacking together every few seconds, as you sought out the feeling you craved.

But it became obvious after a little while longer that it was hopeless.

You pulled back from him frustrated and let out a sound of disappointment as you pressed your forehead into his chest. "It's no use- I can't-"

"Hey, hey, hey." He cut you off, placing a finger under your chin to make you look up at him. "Don't give up now. It was close, I know it. We'll just rework and go with a different angle, okay?"

A part of you wanted to run away and forget this whole thing, hoping he wouldn't hold this against you in the future. You couldn't imagine the teasing material Dieter would come up with if he knew the fact that you couldn't come and had run away after failing to get off with him.

But the way he was looking at you, so warm and kind, had you rethinking that. This was so unlike him. So you just nodded at him.

He returned the nod, a smile on his face. "Okay. So, that felt good, didn't it?" He didn't need you to agree. The sounds you were making told him enough. "So we'll slow down and keep going from there."

You didn't exactly know what he meant by that but decided to just carry on following his lead anyway. Delighted when he kissed you again, you whimpered against his mouth as his hand returned to your ass and rocked your hips over his thigh again. But this time more gently. He kept doing that for a while, never letting the speed of it increase. And the sensation from before built steadily. You stayed calm and didn't let it overtake you, allowing Dieter to have control over the situation.

He let the sounds coming from your throat tell him when to move on to the next step. Slowly he rolled the two of you over so you were on your back again, breaking away from your mouth to start kissing down the length of your body.

You raised your head to look at him. "What are you doing?"

"I'm going down on you." He said casually, finger tracing along the buttons of your shirt. "Can I take this off?"

You nodded, watching as he unfastened each button unhurriedly and sat up to help him slide it from your shoulders. "You don't have to do that. I know a lot of guys don't like that."

His head snapped up to meet your eyes, looking as if you'd just shot him. "Who the fuck have you been sleeping with?" He asked with disgust, hands landing on your chest and immediately kneading the flesh of your tits.

Your mouth dropped open at the feeling, head dropping back onto the pillows. "Guys not worth my time apparently."

"You're right about that." Dieter mumbled, flicking his tongue over one of your nipples. "I happen to love eating pussy."

"Noted." You sighed, toes curling as he sucked the nipple into his mouth.

After spending a considerable amount of time worshipping your chest, including lots of babbling about how fucking soft you were, Dieter finally decided to carry on with his journey downwards. He tugged at the string of your sleep shorts, ribbon unravelling and leaving the waistband loose.

He glanced up at you with the silent question of asking permission to take the shorts off which you nodded at. He smirked and slid them down your legs with the aid of you arching yourself up to help him, pleased when he saw you weren’t wearing panties. The smirk grew into a smile that could only compared to that of the Cheshire Cat when he saw how wet you were.

"All this from just rubbing yourself against my thigh. Lucky me."

"Don't make fun of me." You grumbled, glaring at him.

He tutted, pushing your thighs apart to get a better look. "I'm not, sweetheart, I promise. I can't wait to taste you."

You had no time to reply as he rubbed a thumb across you, spreading your arousal across your slit and up to your clit where he circled a couple of times. Flattening himself onto his stomach so his face was level with your pussy, Dieter placed a tentative lick on your clit. When a broken cry escaped you, he took it as a sign to keep going. Licking a long stripe up, gathering your wetness on his tongue, Dieter let out a moan of his own. You tasted better than he anticipated. It was going to take a lot for him to not bury his face against you and suffocate himself.

Instead he chose to lick against your clit a couple more times, liking the way your back arched up off the bed at the feeling. Slowly, he sucked the bundle of nerves into his mouth and revelled at the strangled whimper that left you, a hand flying into his hair to pull him closer. Dieter groaned as you tugged on the brown strands. Focusing on your clit for a while, he chose to test something else. He slid a finger into you, feeling your thighs tense on either side of his head. And not in a good way. So he removed the finger and chose to continue just suckling on your clit instead.

You weren't quite there yet and that was okay. He was fine with using just his mouth and tongue for the moment. You started writhing under him anyway, which was a good sign in his mind, so he flattened a hand over your stomach to keep you still.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck." You gasped, pulling on his hair even harder. You were close, moving to the brink with every move Dieter made, and you both knew it.

Dieter just wondered what would get you there. He could see out of the corner of his eye that the hand that wasn't in his hair was grasping at the sheets beneath you. So he reached out to take it in his. And so with one of his hands on your stomach to keep you still and one of yours looped through his hair, the free hands that each of you had finding each other and linking, fingers lacing together, that was all it took to have you crashing over the edge.

Your thighs trembled on either side of his head as you practically screamed his name, hand pushing his face into you as your hips moved against him of their own accord. The orgasm pulsed through you, seeming almost never ending, as Dieter crawled back up the length of your body and placed kisses all over your face.

When you finally returned back down to Earth, you opened your eyes and blinked up at him. You couldn’t believe he’d managed it. "You are fucking good at this."

He shook his head and chuckled. "That was the easy part. What's next is the real test."

"Easy- next- what?" You were beyond confused. He'd made you come. His task was complete. What was he talking about?

"The majority of women get off easier with oral. Penetrative sex isn't as likely to make a woman come." He explained, sitting up and reaching off the side of the bed to open a drawer in his nightstand and retrieve a condom. "These are cherry flavoured, is that okay? Or do you have an allergy to flavoured lube? Shit, or a latex allergy?"

You swallowed thickly. "You're going to fuck me? Like actually fuck me?"

"Look at you managing to say fuck. Big turn around from fun time or whatever shit you said to me this afternoon." He shook his head as he chuckled. "But yes, sweetheart. I am going to fuck you. Unless you don't want me to. And in that case I'll have to politely ask you to excuse me so I can go jerk off in the bathroom. But I think it'll be nice. Another orgasm never hurts."

The two of you held eye contact for a moment as he waited for you to respond. The idea of another orgasm had you wanting more.

"No allergies to flavoured lube or latex here." You said, reaching out to grab at his t-shirt to pull him over you again.

"I'm so glad to hear that because this is all I've got." He breathed against your mouth before kissing you.

Your hands slid to the hem of his t-shirt, sliding it up slowly and over his head when he broke away from you momentarily to take it off. Your hands immediately landed on his chest, nails raking down his torso onto his stomach and then your fingers hooked into his waistband. Dieter gave you the go ahead to tug the pants down with a low hum and kicked them off his feet without pulling away from your mouth for a second.

You didn't need to look to know that Dieter was big considering all of him was suddenly pressed up against you. You found it fascinating to know that the rumours of him being hung like a horse were, in fact, very true.

You broke away from the kiss when you felt the full length of him hot and heavy against your stomach. "Fuck me, you're huge."

Dieter looked down between your bodies. It wasn’t anything he hadn’t heard before. "Thanks."

You met his eyes again. "I somehow hate you even more now."

He just burst out into laughter. Now that was new.

"It's not fair that you're good at eating pussy and also have a horse cock. A guy should only have one of those assets. Having both is like having too much power." You groaned, reaching down to take him in your hand.

His laughter abruptly cut off at the feeling of your fingers wrapping around him, head dropping down to meet your shoulder. "Fuck, think it's time to be inside you now."

"That'd be good." You mumbled, watching him as he pushed up onto his knees and ripped the condom open, rolled it down onto his himself with ease and pumped his dick a couple times. The last part was unnecessary considering he was rock hard and not softening anytime soon without coming.

Dieter grabbed the tops of your thighs and used them as leverage to pull you towards him so the two of you aligned. Taking his length in his fist, he slapped the tip against your clit a few times before sliding it up and down your slit, combining the cherry lube with the wetness left behind by your previous orgasm. Notching himself at your entrance, he made eye contact with you for one last bit of confirmation. When he found it, he pushed into you.

He slid in easier than expected, the two of you sighing deeply at the feeling as he leaned over you again. He pulled out slowly after a moment, the clench of your walls making him shudder, and then thrust back in again.

"Does that feel good?" He asked you, needing to check in.

Your legs wrapped around him, forcing him in even deeper somehow. "Fuck yes."

"I'm glad. Because this is heavenly for me." He told you, taking your pleasured expression as an invitation to set up a steady pace. Nothing too fast otherwise he'd be finishing this earlier than he wanted to, but enough to make the both of you feel good.

But you were impatient. "Dieter, faster."

"Sweetheart, if I go any faster then I'm going to blow my load prematurely and I really don't want that. And I’m sure you don’t either."

"I thought you were a veteran at this. Should be able to last longer than two minutes." You quipped back.

He huffed out a laugh. "I was close to jizzing in my pants when we were making out so trust me when I say this is overwhelmingly good for me right now. Besides, gotta make you orgasm again first."

With that statement, he slid a hand between your bodies and rubbed tight circles onto your clit, completely out of pace with the way he was moving in and out of you. The discrepancy between the two sensations had your brain going haywire and you clutched at his face to get him to kiss you again. He groaned into your mouth when you clenched around him again, finally moving a little faster.

As much as Dieter wanted to go slow with you, he could feel how much you craved more. So he picked up the pace and went a little harder, pausing momentarily when the headboard hit the wall and you let out a delighted noise at the sound.

"Oh, you like that?" He asked, mouth dropping open when you nodded rapidly. "Yeah?"

"Yes, Dieter. Oh, my god, yes." You gasped, nails clawing at his shoulders with the need to hold onto something.

"Dirty fucking girl, liking the headboard slamming against the wall." He realised something. "You could hear it when I was in here with other people, couldn't you?"

You could do nothing but confess. "Yes, oh my- fuck!" You were cut off by your own expletive as he rammed back into you, hitting a spot that no one else had even come close to reaching before.

"Wanted to get it as good, huh?" He asked, digging his fingers into the flesh of your thighs as the pace of his thumb increased on your clit. "Promised I'd make it good for you, didn't I?"

You nodded, words escaping you as tears streamed from your eyes.

"Come on, sweetheart. I can feel it. You're going to come for me again, aren't you?" He watched as you attempted to answer him, only managing a few babbled words of agreement. "What do you need? What's going to make you come all over my cock?"

You still couldn't form a coherent sentence as his harsh thrusts had you moving up and down the bed, your tits bouncing in rhythm. So you placed a hand on either of his cheeks and pulled him into a messy kiss, your tongue curling against his. That was what it took to make you orgasm again, a wail leaving your throat and tumbling into Dieter's mouth as your thighs trembled and your walls fluttered around him. The feeling of that sent him over the edge too, a couple more pumps before he was spilling himself into the condom.

Neither of you broke away from the kiss for a moment as you calmed down, sweat pooling between you as he slowly pulled out and the kisses turned sweeter and more innocent. Dieter eventually climbed off of the bed and threw the condom in the trash before crawling back to you.

"What are you doing?" You asked as he settled over you again.

"More making out for a minute." He replied simply, placing his lips over yours.

It lasted longer than a minute, that was for sure. But neither of you were complaining. By the time he decided to pull away again, your legs had stopped shaking with the aftershocks of the orgasm and your breathing had slowed to a normal rate.

Dieter looked down at you pleased with what he'd managed to achieve as a question crossed his mind. "I'm curious... when was the last time you orgasmed?"

You shrugged as the two of you sat up in the bed. "I can't remember."

"Okay, when was the last time you made yourself come? Give me an estimate." He waved his hand around in the air.

You thought about it. "A few months maybe."

He frowned, that was too long in his opinion. "And when was the last time a guy made you come?"

You hesitated before shaking your head.

The frown deepened. "What does that mean?"

You took a deep breath before answering. "Never."

His eyes darkened, lids becoming hooded. "Never?"

"No."

"I'm the first?" He didn't seem to believe you.

But you were insistent. "Yeah."

"Okay, lie back down." He said, poking at your chest to get you to rest against the pillows.

You let out a confused laugh. "What? Why?"

"Because I'm getting another fucking orgasm out of you."

You shook your head, attempting to stay sitting up. "You don't need to. You've done enough."

"Two. You've been given two orgasms by men. Both of which are from me. I need at least a third before I let you leave this room." He stretched his arms out and started moving down the bed. "Besides, you taste good and I already want to go down on you again."

"Dieter, you don't have to do that for me- oh."

He looked smug as he brushed your clit with his thumb, effectively cutting you off.

"Okay, maybe one more won't hurt." You relented, collapsing onto the pillows.

"Excellent." He chirped in response, literally diving in head first into your cunt again with a long lick up your slit. He groaned lowly, looking up at you as he pulled away. "We're gonna have to do this again sometime."

You froze. "What? Why?"

"Because I said I wanted to taste you again but all I'm getting right now is the cherry lube from the condom." He sounded disappointed.

"Sounds delicious, actually." You hummed, pushing yourself up on your elbows so you could see him better.

"Not as delicious as you, fuck." Despite the obvious discontentment, Dieter still went back to licking at you like there was no tomorrow. And it didn't take long for another orgasm to hit you, his skilled tongue combined with the leftover influence of the previous two.

When he made his way up the bed and landed next to you with his eyes closed, you took it as your cue to leave. So you slid out of the bed and started searching for your pyjamas.

"Where are you going?"

You stilled and stiffly turned to look at Dieter. Wasn't it obvious? "Back to my room."

His brow wrinkled "You don't have to go."

You straightened up, suddenly very aware of your nakedness. "I'm not spending the night."

He rolled his eyes. "I wasn't suggesting that, I figured as much. I do, however, strongly believe in this little thing called aftercare.”

"Oh." You hadn't considered that.

"Interested?"

Yes. "Maybe."

He rolled his eyes again, smile still firmly planted on his face, and opened his arms for you. "Get back over here."

You did as he said, easily finding yourself in his embrace as he stroked patterns up and down your back. Some time later he went to get a washcloth from the bathroom to clean away the mess that the cherry lube had made between your thighs, before slipping back into bed next to you.

Despite both of you insisting that you'd go back to your room any minute, you didn't move out of his arms. And eventually the two of you fell asleep wrapped in each other's arms.

A/N: I chose to write this rather than one of my final essays of the uni year… you’re welcome.

[arowitharrows]

God how I wish there'd been articles like this years ago when people were tripping over themselves to deny any and all struggles asexual people face. The amount of times people demanded "proof" when we talked about our experiences. Well, there's certainly more research being published nowadays, if that counts as "proof". I hope they read it.

Today “asexuality is widely accepted as a sexual orientation in the literature,” Hille says, but cultural awareness remains in its infancy, especially compared with other orientations under the LGBTQIA+ umbrella. Saying you don't experience sexual attraction is still like saying you don't eat, Hille explains, and “if you don't eat, there's something wrong with you, and you're hurting yourself.” Asexual people sometimes get this message not just from family and acquaintances but from their health-care providers. Shelby Wren, a health equity researcher at the University of Minnesota, published a study in 2020 in which 30 to 50 percent of respondents who had disclosed their asexuality in a medical setting said a therapist or doctor had attributed their asexuality to a health condition. The proposed diagnoses included anxiety, depression and, in one case, a personality disorder. “You don't know what's going to happen when you disclose your sexual orientation,” Wren says. “And for a lot of people, that stops them from talking about things that could be relevant to their health care.”

[...]

Refraining from disclosing one's asexuality to a mental health provider is often a “very rational decision,” Chasin says. “It's always much worse to be actively rejected and misunderstood.” For instance, asexual people are sometimes subjected to conversion therapy, a practice aimed at changing someone's sexuality or gender identity. It is banned for minors in 22 U.S. states because of its well-documented and extensive harms, including increased rates of suicide. A 2018 U.K. government survey of LGBTQIA+ people found that asexual respondents were the most likely to be offered conversion therapy and as likely as gay and lesbian people to receive it. A recent survey by the Trevor Project found that 4 percent of asexual youths in the U.S. were subjected to conversion therapy, on par with bisexual respondents. On the legislative level, bans on conversion therapy should explicitly reference asexuality, Benoit says. So, too, should professional associations of health-care practitioners, says Samantha Guz, a social work researcher at the University of Chicago. “Asexual people are made to be so invisible in our society that I don't think just having a broad call against conversion therapy is specific enough,” Guz says.

Even well-meaning doctors might unwittingly harm their patients. To a clinician, a patient who is worried that they should feel more sexual desire—and who does not know they are simply asexual—might initially look similar to patients who want sexual intimacy and could benefit from treatments aimed at increasing or restoring desire. Treatments for certain types of sexual dysfunction do help some people whose level of sexual desire leaves them distressed and unsatisfied, Brotto says. For some people, though, this distress may be coming not from an intrinsic desire to want sex but from external pressures such as partners or society as a whole. “I have worked with folks where it's taken us many, many months for the person to really understand how well asexuality fits with their identity,” as opposed to having an issue that is rooted in a health problem or a situational condition, Brotto says. Most doctors, though, don't know that such a distinction exists or is necessary, she adds.

[chuuya-fan-page]

Soukoku is amazing and all that shit but if they become canon anytime soon I'm gonna be disappointed.

If they were to start dating right now it would go terribly. They have some very complicated feelings for each other and I don't think even they know what they are.

Do I want my ship to be canon? Yes but moreover I want my ship to be done justice and it being canon right now would do the opposite. It makes no damn sense unless Asagiri wants to give us some more background. And I know it's a popular headcanon that they hooked up already but my issue with people saying that they probably dated in the mafia but again it just doesn't make sense.

With what we know about both the characters and the timeline they'd have had to get together between the Dragon Head Conflict and Dark Era. And given how the characters are in that timeframe neither of them would have been able to hold a relationship, let alone one with each other. Also current arc Dazai would've boughten up the fact they used to date at some point even if only for shock value. Man would be bringing that up regularly.

Now some evidence to back up why that's the timeframe we have for that. Stormbringer is one of the best pieces of canon material we have for proving that Dazai cares for Chuuya. However Chuuya refers to Dazai as the person he hates most in Stormbringer, which so clearly they wouldn't have been together during that, because unlike his usual "I hate him"s that one seems like he meant it. Most likely due to Chuuya projecting his issues with himself onto Dazai.

Now you read Dead Apple and you get your proof that Chuuya cared about Dazai. (Also more Dazai caring for Chuuya but that dude's so obviously whipped I'm not going over it again) And obviously Dazai left after Dark Era. Theorize about them having seen each other during those four years if you want but if they had there'd be no reason to test each other like they do in the dungeon scene.

Now since they can't have already been together that means that they'd have to get together sometime around or after the prison. However for them to actually do well in a relationship, as they both deserve to, they both have to do some major internal work.

So in summary, I'd like them to be canon but not at the detriment of their complex dynamic.

And I know Asagiri said he won't make anything canon but I'm gonna play my hypothetical games.

-E

[atiny-for-life]

Creative Spotlight #1: Kim Hongjoong

Masterlist

Intro: With so many new Atinys coming in, I figured now would be a good time to shed some light on all the boys' creative solo projects over the years, big and small.

Photography

Hongjoong's love for photography goes way back to his predebut days. In one of the first videos ever uploaded to their channel, you can already see him holding a camera on the set of Pirate King.

2 years ago, in 2022, he got to announce his first photo exhibition, FROM NOVEMBER 7, 1998, as a birthday present to himself, which took place from November 1st to 7th at gallery99 and was used to collect money for charity.

There was no entrance fee but spots had to be reserved online to ensure there'd be no dangerous crowding. During the exhibition, there was a little event planned for all attendees in which fans could collect points which were then converted to money that was later donated under Hongjoong and Atiny's name. The total donated amount was 10 million won!

In Logbook Episode 101, we got to see Hongjoong visit the exhibition himself and take a stroll through memory lane.

Due to the success of the 2022 exhibition, Hongjoong held another one last year which took place between November 3rd and 9th, 2023, and was titled A Walker - the event was accompanied by the release of an original song and led to the donation of 50 million won under Hongjoong's and Atiny's name to the Korea Childhood Leukemia Foundation.

BY. HONGJOONG

Back in 2018, Hongjoong shared during their stay in LA as KQ Fellaz, that he barely went to school since he already started producing music during his high school days. And yes, this is during the same tear jerking monologue where he calls Ateez his family for the first time and says he needs to hurry so he can see their sleeping faces before he goes to bed.

The first time we get to see Hongjoong fully in action as a producer is during his first 1-Day-Vlog in 2020 in which he's working on his Prince cover (more on that in a second).

But now to the main event: Hongjoong has an entire series going where he covers some of his all time favorite songs. Whenever he does, he likes to make the songs his own by recording his own instrumental track and typically adding an additional Korean rap verse with self-written lyrics highlighting his interpretation of the song's message.

Kicking things off with Space Oddity by David Bowie, a classic.

Side Note: As a lover of unisex clothing/androgyny, Hongjoong is likely not just inspired musically by Bowie, but also fashion wise. You can learn more about Bowie's influence on the climate surrounding gender and sexuality here.

Dressed in white, matching both his hair and the background, Hongjoong turned himself into a clean canvas on which he projected first footage of Bowie and later some floating orbs - it's very aesthetic.

Between the original verses and chorus, he placed a Korean rap verse in which he writes from Major Tom's perspective and laments his mental state while stuck alone in outer space, asking ground control to tell his mom he loves her while stating he still appreciates the beauty of space but feels lost and lonely all by himself.

Next up, we've got Purple Rain by Prince, another classic.

Side Note: Like Bowie, Prince too was famous for being androgynous in how he presented himself and toying with what society deemed masculine and feminine. He's famous to this day among the queer community for how persistently he defied gender norms and labels. Learn more about him here.

Instead of filming himself, we get a lyric video this time, fully kept in pastel lavender. Once again, Hongjoong added a rap verse of his own in which he speaks to a lost friend, talking about how he hopes that, even though they're apart now, his friend will still recall him as being sincere and that they can still think of each other fondly and remember the good times.

In a far more elaborate production, we've got Black or White by Michael Jackson up next.

Using green screen and multiple outfits, we get a fun spectacle of a little passion project featuring multiple versions of Hongjoong, background collages, emojis, and more:

Despite being shorter than the other covers, we still get the signature rap verse preceded by his famous giggle and, this time, he's got quite a bit to say.

Diving into the lyrics, he talks about how we're all different colors. Colors which are meant to be mixed. Our roots don't define us. Throughout life, we'll all get mixed up with each other, as we should. He doesn't want to see us divided. To quote: "What's wrong with you, babe? Stop it. You've already experienced the 20th century. Blah blah by dividing groups."

The song ends with the rap verse before the video dives into the making of in which Hongjoong specifically addresses his intent to talk about social issues like Michael Jackson famously used to while he was alive (think: They Don't Really Care About Us).

So long time by Yoon Jong Shin comes next with a sepia-toned video featuring Hongjoong at a grand piano. It's a pretty ballad highlighting his vocals and the use of multiple camera angles allows us to watch him play.

Shortly before we hit the 2 minute mark, Hongjoong gets up and we transition from the shot of the piano to a cassette player while the audio shifts to the original for a moment before Hongjoong returns.

We've reached the rap verse where he mourns a lost love, speaking of memories he can't let go of, even as he pretends everything is okay. He's cold and lonely now, a little mad at himself for continuously getting lost in the memories, and calls himself a fool before we return to the cover-part of the song.

At 3:58, the song wraps up and we've reached the making of section of the video where he talks about how his cover stems from the idea of a time machine taking you through the song, with the first verse (playing the piano) being the past, the rap verse symbolizing the present, and the memories then taking back over as he gets lost in them, leading to the piano's return.

Next up, we've got Last Christmas by Wham! which opens to a short clip of Hongjoong's acting on a pretty Christmas film set before we transition to a simple white back drop.

This time, the signature rap verse comes in early at 50 seconds with a little giggle before he talks about leaving the past in the past and moving on, letting the snow settle over painful memories.

However, this time, we also get a second rap verse at 1:45, where it becomes clear he hasn't moved on at all, plus a Korean vocal section at 2:43 which carries through to the end. Here, he highlights even further that he hopes they'll reconnect next winter so they can leave the painful past behind and live out a shared future.

Hongjoong in his emo era. This is the first Ateez-related video I've ever seen because I was born in '96 and my emo phase never ended so of course this was recommended to me when it was first released.

Numb by Linkin Park got the full Hongjoong treatment and was even reported on by Rolling Stone, quote:

The cover began trending on social media and YouTube within hours of its release, but the true prize came a day later when it caught the attention of Linkin Park themselves. The rock band’s official Twitter account ‘liked’ the post on ATEEZ’s page, with co-founder and vocalist Mike Shinoda confirming on a livestream that he’d seen and enjoyed the cover. As of this writing, Hongjoong’s version of “Numb” has over half a million views on YouTube and has garnered tremendous praise from Linkin Park’s fans.

We get the black eye makeup and nail polish, the plaid half skirt, the dramatic music video with fake fog and red lighting. The rap verse comes in hard, talking about getting mentally weighed down by an abuser and finally breaking free, cutting the ties.

As a long time Linkin Park fan, I love how unique this cover is and Chester would've loved it too I'm sure. I wish he could've seen it.

Fools Garden's Lemon Tree is another classic and I come back to it on the regular because the video has such a unique vibe and the song is famous for getting stuck in your head.

The video features Hongjoong alone in a house surrounded by colorful toys and games, bored out of his mind and visibly seeking a distraction from life but failing to find something, no matter how out of pocket his thinking gets.

Shoutout to the license plate - it's the release date of the song, November 3rd, 1995.

At 1:33, Hongjoong sprints off to the basement which is doused in red and we get a warped version of his signature giggle before the rap verse kicks in. The camera work in this section reminds me a bit of his rap verse in Not Okay.

While down there, he gets more and more deranged, talking about being locked up day by day, imprisoned, losing track of time, but being unable to break out. Instead of trying to escape, he just attempts to distract himself, listening to sad songs on a loop until his pain disappears and his world switches back to yellow.

Busking Event

In 2021, Hongjoong decided to put together a busking event featuring live performances of some covers, plus acoustic versions of some of their songs. Accompanying him were both Ateez and Maddox. You can find the full playlist here:

Collaboration

3 months ago, Chungha made a return to the music scene after escaping her former label and chose Hongjoong as a collaboration partner for her new debut. Beyond his rap verse, she also incorporated a move from Crazy Form in the choreography (she's lovely):

[skele-bunny]

I wish you would write a fic with more BPD dewther!

🐦

YEAHYEAH! Ngl, little bit of a personal projection

Separation. (CW) Aether/Dewdrop

CW - Suicidal Thoughts

Tags: BPD episode/split, assumptions, overthinking, Hurt w/Comfort

Characters: Aether, Dewdrop

(Divider by @ wrathofrats !)

Everything had been just fine. Truly and honest just fine. Dew pressed against Aether's side, head on his mate's chest while they watched a new series that had been recommended by Cirrus after getting cozy in their pajamas of the afterglow of a previous hour. Aether's hand lazily stroking down Dewdrop's back, claws grazing and occasionally pushing his fingers in to rub and elicit purrs from the fire ghoul.

Aether's phone rang, drawing both of their attention—Dew sitting up so Aeth could reach over and answer. He didn't mind as he talked to someone in the hospital, picking up the remote to go pause but Aether's hand waving a 'no' stopped him. Eyes following as Aether stood up, walking to the bathroom and closing the door, yet his voice continued.

He sat patiently, eyes flicking between the bathroom door to the TV, exhaling slowly. All it took was for Dewdrop to hear Aether laugh for his entire mood to switch. He looked down at his lap, ears slowly drooping down and tail curling around his own thigh, before his breathing got shaky. Dew didn't know why he thought the way he did, or reacted the way he did, he just did. His mind settling on the worst case scenario and keeping it as fact. Tears began to swell and Dew couldn't regulate himself.

Looking at the ring on his finger, Dewdrop slipped it off and slammed it on the bedside table, standing up and leaving their shared room to make his way down the hallway to his abandoned old one. The room smelled stale from the lack of anyone being in it, dust lining shelves but maneuvering his way on his old bed that still had his mound of stuffed animals.

He collapsed down into the pillows, unable to stop his tears flowing and broken sobs—claws gripping the pillow that seemed to only be needed for moments like this. It felt like Dew's heart was breaking in the most physical way, his chest tightening and pings of pain echoing through his entire rib cage. He was too hyper aware of his gurgling cry, a simple siren song working it's way through as he begged for comfort and attention.

Dew only muffled himself more, his scent souring. He pushed his knees up under his stomach, a fetal position where he could try and ease some of the pain his body felt after coming to terms with Aether getting bored with him. That had to be the case, right? They just had sex, and that's all Aether wanted. He was so eager to pickup the phone. Something to get him away from Dew, maybe it was a new mate Dewdrop didn't know about. He wouldn't be surprised. He wasn't gentle touched like Rain was, didn't have the humor of Swiss, or even the comforting presence like Mountain and Sunshine.

He was just bottom of the barrel, forcing Aether to deal with him.

Nothing about him was good enough for any type of affection, just stuck in a loop of finding ways to shut him up. To satisfy Dew enough to keep him wrapped around whoever's finger until they decided to dump him. It seemed Aether was nearing his own end after all the years of putting up with him.

Another sob bubbled through, his entire frame shaking as he couldn't control himself. Sitting up some, Dew tried to stop his hyperventilating, deeming helpless as it only got worse as he looked at his empty ring finger. There was nothing there, because there was nothing there. There was no relationship, there was no love. There was nothing. Aether wasn't coming for him, and if anything was probably happy Dew had left the bedroom—to allow someone else he actually desired to take the spot.

For weeks there'd been things Dew overlooked that suddenly became his reality. How Aether would keep his head down against Dew's neck during sex instead of simply looking at him, how he seemed to hold Aurora tighter in the recent ghoul pile, how his eyes seemed to linger on Mountain as they broke away from a kiss. And now the phone call where he closed the door, and started laughing. Was it a nurse? Another doctor he worked with? They most likely seen Aether more than Dewdrop did. It'd make sense he'd develop another relationship without telling him. He had no obligation to inform a toy about romance.

He moved to his side, dragging his clownfish toy Zephyr had gifted him years ago to his chest, curling around it for just some type of comfort. Dew would remain alone in this world, and he needed to accept that. He was alone in the pits, how would being topside possibly be any different? He was childish. Foolish to think anything would change. All it was is a change of scenery. Nothing else.

He was certain no one would bat an eye the moment he forced himself to stop breathing. Maybe he could suffocate himself in his pile of misery and dust, leaving his body to rot. His corpse would only be found from the smell and not the care in anyone's heart to see where he went. Dew was positive about that too. It seemed like the best outcome at this point.

"Firefly?" Aether's voice echoed sadly, knocking on the door.

Aether let himself in as Dewdrop didn't respond, tail going between his legs as he seen his mate's current state. His face flushed with tears, snot, and drool going on his plush as he let out the most heartbreaking wails. His tail curled around his own self, a small ball that kept trying to cave in on itself.

He slowly moved over, kneeling on the bed as his hand touched Dew's shoulder. "Oh, firefly... What's wrong?"

Dew shook his head, yanking his shoulder away from Aether. "You don't l-love me anymore."

"Says who? I love you more than anything in this world, Dewdrop. I mean it!" Aether moved his hand back, shuffling closer and laying somewhat behind his mate.

"Says you!" His body shook more with each cry. "You never look at me anymore o-or seem, like, happy with me, and— and you just want to get rid of me and so I did the hard work for you."

Aether whined, pressing his muzzle against Dew's head then backing up. "Can you tell me how?"

His hand started slowly rubbing Dewdrop's arm, knowing how the physical touch always calmed down his splits, even if just miniscule differences.

"Well, you... You just—" Dew clutched his clownfish tighter. "You don't look at me anymore! You, you— Fucking—" More tears fell and another loud cry.

"Oh, my love..." Aether whispered, frowning as he kept rubbing Dewdrop. "I'm right here... I'm listening."

It took longer until Dew could inhale through his cries for him to start babbling once more. "You seem so happier with everyone else, you don't look at me. I want you to look at me, but you always turn your head, or move to where I can't even get the chance to force eye contact... You laugh louder with them, y-you were so happy to get away from me with the phone call and— and you—You just... You don't love me anymore."

There was a moment of silence from Aether as he ran through what Dewdrop said in his head, sighing softly. "I'm so sorry. I never meant to make you feel like that, and I promise with everything in me I love you. I love you so, so much it drives me insane sometimes. You make me happy, Dewy. You always have and you always will. I love how silly you are, your little fits where you throw the nearest thing at me, and even when you bite my chest!"

Aether reached into his pocket to pull out the ring Dew had taken off. He adjusted himself to where the ring was in view of Dew. "When I gave this to you, I meant it. I studied human marriage for so long for you, because I wanted it to be special. I knew how much it meant to you, and how you loved it. I love you, Vai."

Dewdrop squeezed his plush again. "Feelings can change..."

"Have your feelings changed?"

Hesitation trembled over Dew's lips, looking through blurry vision at the purple and blue ring, the jewel held in place by Aether's horn tips. "No... I love you."

"I love you too, Dew. I always will, no matter what your brain may say to you... I really am so sorry I hurt you. Is there anything I can do to help reassure my love for you?"

It took a moment before Dew raised his hand, still shaking but offering his finger again. Aether took the hint and slowly slid the ring back on, holding his mate's hand carefully before bringing it close to kiss his knuckles. Dewdrop followed his hand, heterochromia staring into space.

"Will you look at me?"

Aether clutched his hand tighter, bringing it to his chest while staring back. "Of course I will."

So, they laid. Staring into each other eyes and Aether slowly growing a dopey smile. His lips parted to whisper affections, complimenting each little detail on Dew's face he adored for all these years and more. His spare hand went up, fingers dragging down Dew's wet cheek and watching as he leaned into the touch. The only thing separating them at this point was the clownfish between their chests, foreheads touching and tails intertwined.

Dew exhaled, squeezing his eyes shut as a few more tears slipped out. "Can we make boundaries?"

"Of course we can, love. Tell me what you need."

"When you have phone calls... Can you stay in the room with me?" He asked, finally looking up again.

Aether hummed, "I can do that. But sometimes there needs to be privacy with calls from the hospital. Would it be alright if I go to the bathroom for those?"

"Could you leave the door cracked? Just a bit?"

A nod. "Of course, that's a good compromise."

Relief instantly flooded Dewdrop's face, his nose no longer scrunched and only moving as he sniffled. "In piles, I... Would you hold me tighter? I feel like you don't anymore. Like you don't want to touch me."

"When you say hold you tighter, do you mean only hold you or just squeeze whatever part of you I have?" Aether kept rubbing Dew's cheek, keeping his eye contact and sending comforting smells.

Biting his lip a little to think, Dew answered again. "Squeeze. I don't mind that you're holding the others, they're our mates too, but I just want to feel more of you. Does that make sense?"

"Yeah, it does." Aether nodded. "I can do that. Now, could you do something for me?"

"Anything."

"When you start feeling like I'm not giving you enough attention, affection, or just feel like I'm ignoring you, I want you to tell me. I know it's hard to say and ask for, so how about we make a little code? Yeah? Just come up, grab my hand, and—" Aether squeezed Dew's hand three times. "That'll let me know you need my undivided attention."

Dew looked over Aether's face before slowly squeezing three times back. He watched as the quintessence adjusted the clownfish before pulling him close, hugging tightly around his frame. Dewdrop shook a bit more before his tears came back, hiding in Aether's chest but still clutching his toy. Aether put his chin between Dew's horns, rubbing his back in comforting circles and whispering his love once more.

"You're okay... I'm right here. Let it all out, I'm not going anywhere."

His cries only got worse at the reassurance, but only because relief flooded him like no tomorrow. He finally released the clownfish to clutch to Aether's shirt, feeling each paranoia and assumption slip away the more they stayed tangled. Of course there was the small echo it was just a coy and everything would go back to how it was of nothing. So Dew found Aether's hand and squeezed again.

The position was changed to where Dew was on Aether's chest, completely wrapped in his arms and bodies pressed together. Their hands never released one another, Dewdrop lifting his head to look into Aether's eyes, the quint smiling up at the fire so softly.

"I see you, firefly. I'm not leaving. Not anytime soon, not ever. I love you."

Nodding, Dew laid his head back down and let himself be held more. "I love you, too..."

[mu-qingfang-stan-account]

today i woke up and said to myself "let's typeset and bind @verycharismaticdragon's fic A Transmigrator and a Time Traveler" because i reread it yesterday and overnight i was consumed by a Vision where the chapters would start on recto pages and then on the verso there'd be a fullpage tarot illustration of the corresponding major arcana card. (dont ask me what will happen with ch21 because i Don't know.)

"this will be easy," i said. "i've seen like three different people doing mxtx major arcana illustrations. i bet if i combine all of those and use only the scum villain ones i can cover all the chapters."

nope, i've found *checks notes* FOUR usable scum villain tarot illustrations. and also they aren't really related to the chapters which anyone could have predicted but which i feel weird about. (although if you haven't checked out @sumeriasmith's mxtx tarot project yet YOU HAVE TO. i am primarily an oil painter so watercolor is like black magic to me i dont understand how they do any of this but im soooo fucking hype for them to finish binghe as the emperor)

"ugh," i said. "fine. i will find a generic tarot major arcana svg set in a nice style, because i hate the og rider-waite illustrations. there has to be a ton of them" and unfortunately yes there ARE but ALL OF THEM ARE MADE BY DESIGNERS WITH BAD TASTE. why is the tower just a pile of crystals or a hand or some shit. why did you spell chariot as "charriot" (and this was the least objectionable one i found!)

i also discovered:

the unicode codepoints for the tarot major arcana (h/t @twocubes) except theyre from tarot noveau and thus useless to me

hanafuda cards (also irrelevant, but very pretty) (inb4 "you're such a weeb" ...there is a half-finished painting of itachi from naruto in my garage right now. of COURSE i'm a weeb.)

unicode codepoint tarot deck (i wont lie to you, i'm tempted, but it seems thematically inappropriate for scum villain unless i incorporate it into my own tarot card illustrations which i am trying to NOT do here)

and finally ordered the ikea tarot deck off etsy (after years of vacillation) (this is the first tarot deck i have ever purchased because i don't "believe in" tarot or w/e but the concept of ikea tarot is very VERY funny to me). all in all, not a hugely productive afternoon :/ perhaps i will return to the tarot issue later and start doing some actual typesetting now?

OH ALSO does anyone have Body Text Font Opinions or should i just flip a coin to decide between alegreya and baskerville again. (one benefit of alegreya is that i already edited the font files to add ǎǐǒǔ characters...)

[missredherring]

I couldn't sleep so I made a moodboard for one of my WIPs, "30 Minutes Or Less."

The concept is a Dieter Bravo x F!Reader, second chance romance. In this Dieter entered the acting world when he was a teen, staring as the lead of a sitcom in the vein of "That 70s Show." It was about a bunch of teens working at a pizza parlor and detailed the ups and downs of their high school years.

A few decades later Dieter has worked hard for his fame and became... Dieter Bravo. Your star didn't take the same path and you're living a quiet life back in your home town. Until there's rumblings about a reboot. The rest of the original cast is up for it, and Dieter is too on one condition: he won't do it with anyone else but you.

The Reader would've gone back to a civilian life after her acting career fizzled out. Maybe her mother is a talent agent who encouraged/handled her career when she was young and now she helps take care of her mom? It wouldn't be a toxic relationship. The mom would help convince the reader to say yes to the reboot.

As it happens with youths in close proximity together, Reader and Dieter would've hooked up, first love style during the original run since their characters had a will-they-won't-they plotline with an ambiguous ending. He went on to bigger projects and when she didn't they said goodbye. I don't think there'd be any resentment between then; she understands how the Hollywood machine works, but it'd be bittersweet. She'd be hesitant to go back into that world, but his pleading brown eyes are too strong.

Shortly after you get a call from your old manager Dieter shows up on your doorstep.

"How often does Hollywood come calling a second time?"

But it wasn't Hollywood that was calling, it was Dieter, and that made it worse.

I was thinking about how I missed sitcoms like "That 70s Show." And I liked the idea of casting Pedro's coworkers as the rest of the cast. I think a group of 5 or 6 is the usual number for those kind of shows, so maybe throw Oscar and someone else in the mix.

For additional vibes:

[offonaherosjourney]

how did disney do treasure planet dirty?

Thank you so much for asking

Story time!

Treasure Planet (2002) is Treasure Island set in space. It was directed by Ron Clements and John Musker. They worked in Disney as directors for a while, and some of their other directive credits include movies such as The Great Mouse Detective (1986), The Little Mermaid (1989), Aladdin (1992), Hercules (1997), and more recently Moana (2016). Before directing those they worked as character animators and writers in other movies, and then one day they went to the at the time chairman of Disney, Jeffrey Katzenberg, and asked him to pretty please let them adapt Treasure Island and set it in space. However, they didn't have the best timing because this was after the release of Black Cauldron (1985), which had flopped bad and they'd worked on as writers.

Jeff said a big nope and had them direct The Great Mouse Detective (1986). And after that movie came out, Clements and Musker asked again, and Jeff instead made them directors for The Little Mermaid (1989) and Aladdin (1992), and after each movie they made, they kept asking about Treasure Planet. By that point Jeff told them that if they directed one more film, Hercules (1997), he'd let them do Treasure Planet. They did and Treasure Planet got the greenlight.

The movie is amazing and I won't go into why to keep this a reasonable length, but one of its feats was how it combined traditional 2d animation, CG animation and deep canvas (a looot of deep canvas). It was very cool, very innovative and veeery expensive.

That's the factual part of the story, now we go into personal opinions and fan theories, which are that basically maaaybe Disney didn't really want to make this movie, and it only got the ok because it was the passion project of their two directors responsible for the Disney Renaissance. Between the movie's budget and the marketing they spent a whopping 180 million to make this movie (Aladdin cost them 28m, The Little Mermaid 40m, Hercules 85m).

However, when Treasure Planet came out in late 2002, it flopped. Another Disney movie that came out earlier that year during the summer and had done amazing was Lilo and Stitch. Great movie too, btw, and the marketing team had made sure people heard about it. Six months before it came out you got ads of Stitch disrupting iconic scenes, McDonalds toys... the whole spiel. Meanwhile Treasure Planet's marketing was a mess and their ads either didn't give out anything about the movie or spoiled a bunch of stuff. And they released the movie in December 2002. Do you know what other movie had released just a couple days before? The second movie about a certain boy wizard whose books were written by an author whose name I shall not utter. Oh, and another veery Christmasy Disney movie, The Santa Clause 2. These two both dominated the box office while Treasure Planet... didn't.

And the thing is that Disney knew. They were well aware that there wasn't much buzz about the movie and that it's sales projections didn't look good, and despite all the money they'd invested on it... they didn't move the release to a date that would help it perform better.

Also, while Treasure Planet's box-office numbers might have been lackluster, the movie received excelled critics and even received an Oscar nomitation for Best Animated Picture.

But why they would set up to fail their own movie?

Well, because then they could avoid doing a sequel. Remember Jeff, the guy that approved Clements and Musker's passion project? He hadn't been with Disney since 1994, and there'd been two other chairmen after him. Any loyalty and passion left for this movie remained with the people working on it, not with the top executive's whose job was to make money, not art.

And here's the tragic kicker: films like A Bug's Life or Monster's Inc, aka 3d movies were doing amazing in the box-office, so Disney wanted to switch directions. By setting the very expensive movie to fail, they avoid doing the promised (and likely just as expensive) sequel that was already in pre-production. Making sure Treasure Planet failed planted the first nail in the coffin where a couple years later they would bury their 2d animation studio. A couple more 2d animated movies later that didn't really do that great either they closed shop for good and switched completely to the 3d animated features we get nowadays.

(Also while the storyboard for the sequel is somewhere in a Disney vault gathering dust, there's some stuff on the internet with rough designs for the sequel and info about the plot and it looked SO GOOD AND THEY CANCELLED AND IT'S BEEN OVER 20 YEARS AND I'M STILL MAD ABOUT IT)

End of story time

(And, if you liked this ramble or wish to learn more about this topic, here's the video where I learned most of this and that also goes into more details about stuff like what deep canvas is and the changes they did to successfully adapt the story)

[sleeptokenpuppy]

I just want to thank Sleep Token for allowing/encouraging us to project onto their music and find the meaning we need in it. I'm currently going through that and it's helping me process things, and... yeah. It means a lot.

(personal details below the break, trigger warnings for poor mental health and also for grief)

When my step-grandma passed away last week, The Love You Want involuntarily became the grief and regret of realizing too late that a family member who you felt rejected by for a long time, DID actually see you as worthwhile.

When she first became part of our family, it seemed as though she looked down on us, kind of. Like if it wasn't her kids, her grandkids, her way of doing things, it wasn't worth much to her. Like we weren't good enough for her, like there was always something to criticize and some reason why her family's lifestyle and achievements were worth more than ours. Almost like she refused to be proud of us, of the family she was joining.

And that was a sore spot with my family for a very long time. My mom and her siblings were frustrated with her more often than not for several years.

And it really, really, deeply fucked me up when I was at my lowest, in my early 20s. When I could barely hold myself together, and all I wanted in the world was to be loved and cared for, every time I talked to my step-grandma she would be holding where I was at up against what her daughter had accomplished by her early 20s... and it made me legitimately suicidal to be around her. I wanted to feel loved and to me, it felt like she refused to see me as worthy.

So I stopped seeing her and my grandad except for birthdays and holidays.

She softened a bit when the dementia started to take hold. By then I had gotten an associates degree and a job, but I still couldn't bring myself to be around her too much. She would tell the same handful of stories over and over and over, not out of wanting to put me down or anything, but because she had fucking dementia and was starting to forget things. But I couldn't help the feeling that she still didn't see me as worthy of her love, or her pride. And she would ask my parents about me.

I doubted her sincerity. I was still under the impression that her heart was locked up and I'd always have the combination wrong.

Since the pandemic, when I did almost a year of working six-day weeks after my job reopened, I felt like I was finally worthy of her respect... but by then, I was too burnt out by work to see much of her. And over the last few years, it's been hard to watch her fade into the dementia. Despite how much pain there'd been between us, I would cry about her.

Turns out, were both full of the love we each wanted from each other.

Last weekend we celebrated her birthday. I had to leave early because I had a migraine. The last thing I said to her was I love you. The last thing she said to me was I love you too.

Two days later, she had a heart attack and passed away in her sleep.

And here I am, posting this on the way to her funeral, reeling from the sudden knowledge I couldn't accept that she actually loved me until it was too late.

Too many swallowed keys finally came around and made me bleed internally with the knowledge that I wasn't actually better off that way.

Ms Marlene, I'll be full of the love you wanted, no matter what, forever more. I wish I had known sooner that you were too.

[alexturne]

The Car - Track by track: A test-drive of The Car

Article in Focus which goes through the album track by track. Shared and translated by Smilion:

1. There'd Better Be a Mirrorball

Let's get straight to the point: The Car is not a new Tranquility Base Hotel & Casino, the album with which Arctic Monkeys radically turned its back on the arena rock of predecessor and chef d'oeuvre AM (2013) four years ago. Tranquility Base was Arctic Monkeys in space, a concept album like a Stanley Kubrick soundtrack. The Car is equally cinematic, but a lot wider, lighter and – yes – more accessible. Or as Alex Turner put it in the British street newspaper The Big Issue: 'The sci-fi is off the table, we're back on Earth.'

The proof is immediately provided in opener and forward single There'd Better Be a Mirrorball. No disco, but a break-up song packaged like a Bond number from the sixties. “Do you wanna walk me to the car?” Turner wonders. Walking to the car with your loved one will never be the same.

2. I Ain't Quite Where I Think I Am

Turner once again wrote the picket fences of the new Arctic Monkeys record solo, from behind his Steinway & Sons. It was only later that the rest of the group was brought in. More specifically during the European Football Championship of 2021, where they watched with the entire band between the recordings. (Turner gave his comeback interview earlier this year to the French sports newspaper L'Équipe for a reason.)

"In the summer of the European Championships, we spent two or three weeks with the boys as a band in the English countryside," says Turner. “I then stepped away from the piano for a while and enjoyed playing wahwah guitar again.” It's that wahwah guitar you hear in I Ain't Quite Where I Think I Am, a song that is just as much of Turner's side project The Last Shadow. Puppets could have been. Of everything you'll find in the trunk of The Car, this is by far the funky and catchy.

3. Sculptures of Anything Goes

Dark, cumbersome but fat: with a little good will you can consider Sculptures of Anything Goes as a distant relative of Humbug (2009), the third of the Monkeys produced by Josh Homme. Although the deep bass and pulsating electronic drums are actually unreleased Arctic Monkeys, and in that respect the song is more reminiscent of that rare time when Nick Cave – in Rings of Saturn from Skeleton Tree – suddenly started flirting with electronica.

More than anywhere else on the record, Alex Turner's on-again, off-again relationship with rock music is highlighted here. "I wanted to turn the rock band bit on and off," he told The Guardian. “On Sculptures, the rock band slide is opened here and there for a measure or two, only to be pushed back in.”

4. Jet Skis on the Moat

Summer 2014. A Canadian journalist speaks with Alex Turner and drummer Matt Helders in front of a concert hall in Toronto, on the shores of Lake Ontario, but sees his interview cut short when suddenly two men on a jet ski pass by and start calling for the Monkeys. (Things like, 'Which band is playing tonight? The Arctic Monkeys? Is that you?' To which Alex Turner: 'You bet!') Turner apparently had so much fun seeing Jet Skis on the Moat – there's the wahwahgi cakes again! — could be based on that particular interview from eight years ago. At least, that's what some Arctic Monkeys fans on the internet claim. Or they just have too much time.

5. Body Paint

The second pre-sent single, and according to many fans "the best thing Arctic Monkeys has played since AM", the British newspaper The Independent polled. Anyway, Body Paint is the most versatile song on the entire album, half a rock opera in which Turner croons like the Bowie of the mid-seventies over keys, guitars and strings. Lots of strings.

Turner wrote a large part of the string arrangements for this album himself and had them edited by Bridget Samuels, the artistic director of the London Orchestrate who previously produced soundtracks for films such as Under the Skin (with Scarlett Johansson), Jackie (with Natalie Portman) and Midsommar (with Florence Pugh) supervised. You immediately know why The Car sounds so cinematic and grand.

6. The Car

From big to small: title song The Car is one of the quietest on the record. Acoustic guitars predominate. The 'sleepy amigos' about whom Turner sings here only reinforce the mariachi feeling.

Incidentally, the album title came after Alex Turner saw a photo of patented hobby photographer Matt Helders with a car on the roof of an abandoned parking garage. "I immediately got the impression that that had to be the next cover," says Turner. "And if you get the chance to call an album The Car, you have to grab it with both hands."

7. Big Ideas

Or as Turner calls it in the text itself: 'The ballad of what could have been'. The Arctic Monkeys frontman imagines himself to be a brilliant composer who, on his mandolin and with the backing of an orchestra, devised the theme song to a film about twins received by mass hysteria. Or something.

Big Ideas had a modest live premiere last week during the Arctic Monkeys showcase at Studio Brussel, but you can expect an even dreamier studio version.

8. Hello You

Besides I Ain't Quite Where I Think I Am, The Car's one and only uptempo song. The Arctic Monkeys from the time of R U Mine? will never return, as Matt Helders indicated in an interview this spring, but the guitar riff of Hello You is very reminiscent of Knee Socks, one of those other crowd favorites from AM.

Hello You, by the way, contains one of the funniest lines of text that Alex Turner wrote for The Car: 'I could pass for seventeen if I just get a shave and catch some Zzz.'

9. Mr. Schwartz

Brian from Brianstorm. Arabella from Arabella. Receptionist Mark from Tranquility Base Hotel & Casino. Alex Turner has featured many characters in his songs over the years. Mr Schwartz's turn is on The Car. From the first time Arctic Monkeys played the song glued together by fingerpicking guitars live last summer, the identity of Mr. Schwartz has been conjectured. The most plausible guess came from a Reddit user who stumbled upon an Arctic Monkeys-linked Spotify playlist titled "Del Schwartz"—again: Monkeys fans obviously have a lot of time—and googled Delmore Schwartz, the late American poet. and short story writer who taught Lou Reed. Turner spoke to 3FM about 'a huge coincidence' and claimed that he had simply seen the name Del Schwartz 'on the back of a nineties Alfa Romeo'.

10. Perfect Sense

Favorite Worst Nightmare (2007) had 505, AM had I Wanna Be Yours and Tranquility Base Hotel & Casino had The Ultracheese. Well-aimed closing songs are a thing at Arctic Monkeys. Perfect Sense is also such a well-known ending, one where you can see the credits roll across the screen. And one in which Alex Turner repeatedly wishes you good night against the background of a battery – there they are again – strings.

Of all the songs on The Car, this would be the most suitable to perform with a string ensemble. Although it must be said right away: that will not happen. The Monkeys skillfully rejected an offer for a TV special with an orchestra. "Too predictable."

However accessible Arctic Monkeys in 2022 may sound, the spirit of the obstinate rock band is still there.

[ifuckinglovedinosaurssomuchjesus]

Pretending End Cretaceous mass extinction event never took place, do you have any thoughts on speculative evolution and how dinosaurs and their contemporaries may have evolved through the years?

Like the explosion of mammal biodiversity probably wouldn’t have taken place, but what else? Assuming other global processes like plate tectonics, and the accompanying changes in currents, oxygen cycles etc, if you only take away the asteroid and it’s direct consequences, how do the dominoes fall?

Well, AFAIK the asteroid wouldn't have had any long term affects on the planet's tectonic activity or the climate. It was an apocalyptic event for sure, but depending on what scientist you believe, the immediate effects of the impact were over anywhere from a couple thousand years to only a few months.

So the plates would still move the way they have in the Cenozoic and the climate would still cool down and dry up due to the Earth's orbit and Milankovitch cycles. There would still be an Ice Age and animals would have to adapt to it.

The main difference would be life of course, and I cannot stress this enough, everything would be different. There would be no placental mammals, plant life would be mostly angiosperms but not in their total domination we see today, teleost fish wouldn't fill almost every aquatic niche like they do today, and of course there'd still be a shit ton of dinosaurs.

The thing about the asteroid was that it basically wiped the earth clean of entire clades, and those vast expanses of open niches is what kickstarted the biosphere we know today. There would be literally nothing in common with our "timeline" if it hadn't hit, except for some extreme cases of living fossils like Triops or Lepisosteus. No Mackerel, no Poison Dart Frogs, no Rose Bushes, no Great White Sharks, no Leopard Slugs, no Bears, no Giraffes, no Komodo Dragons, no Coconut Trees, no Crows or Ravens, etc.

In that sense though, 66 million years isn't that long in the perspective of the Mesozoic, so there wouldn't be anything crazy different from the Cretaceous. I doubt we'd see any dinosauroids for example. There would still be big sauropods and big theropods to hunt them, there would still be pterosaurs and marine reptiles of all kinds, there'd still be Ammonites and plenty of lobe finned fish, etc.

I think it's safe to say the arms race between armored Ornithischians and Tyrannosaurs would fizzle out, and much like the Stegosaurs and Carnosaurs of the Jurassic, they'd go extinct to make way for other animals to take their place. Maybe gigantic dromaeosaurs and quadrupedal ornithomimids or extremely armored sauropods and pterosaurs with bone crushing beaks, the possibilities are endless and I'm sure there's a million speculative evolution projects out there trying to answer that question.

Basically, we wouldn't be here making these posts.