#and they don’t drug test this time 😂😂

[corroded-hellfire]

Prompt Day 13: Sex, Drugs & Rock n Roll

Word Count: 1000

Rating: T

Pairing: (All in relationships that are talked about) Eddie x Reader, Jeff x Barb

CW: Language, talk of sex

Summary: The guys make a bet to see who can go the longest without sex

This is for my girls @munson-blurbs @the-unforgivenn @rip-quizilla and @word-wytch. The idea for this fic came from an extremely entertaining conversation about the CC guys’ sex lives 😂

@corrodedcoffinfest

“I could so be high and not have chips.”

Eddie, Jeff, and Frank chuckle, knowing Gareth’s claim is wholly false. 

“I don’t think you could even give up chips sober,” Frank says. 

The four friends are at Jeff’s apartment, getting high while watching Weekend at Bernie’s. 

“What?” Gareth asks, brushing his hands together to get rid of chip dust. “You think I don’t have any willpower?”

“Out of the four of us? You definitely have the least,” Eddie says before taking another drag. 

“That’s bullshit.” 

“Wanna bet?” Jeff asks.

“As a matter of fact, I do,” Gareth declares. 

“On who can go the longest without chips?” Jeff laughs. “Dude, you’re the only one who would go into withdrawal. We’d kick your ass.”

“Fine,” Gareth says as he gets off the burgundy couch. He stumbles over to the television and switches it off.

“Hey!”

“What the hell?”

“Dude!”

Gareth’s doing his best to stare them down and Eddie doesn’t have the heart to tell him it’s not working.

“What’s something we all like, huh? Be a real test of willpower?” Gareth asks.

“Music?” Frank suggests.

“Nah, that’s unavoidable. Grocery store? Music. Elevator? Music,” Eddie points out. 

“Oh.” The way Gareth’s eyes light up after he says it makes the guys worried. “I know exactly how we can test who has the best willpower.”

“And what’s that?” Jeff asks.

“I’ll even lay down twenty—no, fifty dollars on this bet,” Gareth says.

“Just tell us,” Eddie whines.

“I wager I can go the longest without having sex,” Gareth says with a self-satisfied smirk.

“Dude, really?” Eddie asks. “You want us to give up sex?”

“What’s wrong, Eddie?” Gareth taunts, crossing his arms over his chest. “Don’t think you could do it? Don’t have the willpower?”

“No, I just like fucking my girlfriend,” Eddie says with a laugh. 

“I’ll take that action—er, bet,” Jeff says, surprising Eddie.

“What?” Eddie practically shouts.

“I mean,” Jeff starts with a shrug, “it does seem like a fair test. We all live with our girlfriends.”

“I’m in,” Frank says. “Fifty down for me, too.”

“Means it’s just you who’s out, Eddie,” Gareth taunts. “I’m starting to think you're wussing out on us.”

Eddie rolls his eyes and takes another hit. 

“Jesus, fine, I’ll do it. What’re the rules gonna be?”

“Everyone puts fifty in,” Gareth starts.

“And no one tell their girl,” Jeff adds. “This is about our willpower.” 

“Yeah, that’ll be fun.” Frank’s voice drips in sarcasm. “Ally wants to have sex and I reject her.”

“Just pretend to fall asleep on the couch,” Gareth suggests with a shrug.

“You really think you can keep your hands off Annie?” Eddie asks Gareth, an amused smirk on his face.

“No rule about my hands not being on her.”

“Okay, yeah, that should be clarified,” Jeff says. “When we say, ‘no sex,’ what exactly does that entail?” 

Gareth tilts his head from side to side as he thinks about it.

“No vaginal, oral, or anal,” he decides. “No hand jobs. Basically, your girlfriend can’t get you off in any way and you can’t get her off.”

“We’re idiots for doing this,” Eddie complains.

“Feel free to forfeit and be the loser,” Gareth taunts.

“I could use that extra $150 bucks,” Jeff says. “Weren’t you looking for a new guitar, Ed? This would help.”

“Fuck,” Eddie sighs. 

“So, we’re all agreed?” Gareth asks. “Fifty bucks in for each of us. Starting today, we see who can go the longest without sex.”

The three others confirm their assent—and just in time.

The front door to the apartment opens and Barb steps in. 

“Hi, guys,” she greets as she sets a few grocery bags down.

“Hey, Barb,” they hum in unison. 

“What’re you up to?” she asks.

“Watched Weekend at Bernie’s,” Jeff says, pushing himself off the couch to go kiss his girlfriend. 

“Still going to that bar where the manager wants you guys to play? To finalize things?” Barb asks. 

“Yep,” Eddie replies as he stands up.

Gareth looks down at his watch, then says, “If we leave now, we can get pizza first.”

“Yeah, go get pizza,” Barb says, giving Jeff’s arm a loving squeeze. “I’ve got plenty here I can have for dinner. Just have to unpack it first.”

“Let’s get Surfer Boy,” Gareth suggests as he heads for the door.

The guys mumble their agreement and Barb gives them a wave as they head out.

“Have fun, boys.”

A chorus of “bye Barb” echoes before they’re all out and Jeff closes the door behind him. 

Barb unpacks her bags, keeping an ear out for cars leaving the parking lot. This is the second time the slightly open window has been used to Barb’s advantage in the last ten minutes. 

Once all the food is put away and Barb has checked that the guys have left, she shuffles over to the phone on the wall. She dials your number and impatiently waits for you to pick up.

“Hello?”

“Hey, it’s Barb,” she says.

“Oh, hey! What’s up?” you ask.

“I heard our men having an interesting conversation when I got home. I don’t think they realize how loud they talk—or that they had a window open.”

“Oh, God,” you say with a laugh. “What’re they up to now?”

“They’ve made a bet with one another to see who can go the longest without sex,” she says. “And they’re not going to tell us girls about it.”

A giddy gasp comes from the other end of the phone as you think of all the possible ways you could have fun messing with Eddie on this. 

“Oh, Barb,” you croon. “I think we need to call up Ally and Annie and do some lingerie shopping.”

“My thoughts exactly,” Barb confirms. “So happy we’re on the same page of making this bet as hard as possible for them.”

You chuckle.

“I know four women who are suddenly going to become the biggest teases these guys have ever seen.”

[lavaflowe]

JTTW BOOK CLUB

CHPT 7-9

@journeythroughjourneytothewest

Chpt 7

•”All this was probably refined in his stomach by the Samadhi fire to form a single solid mass” I know other deities can use the fire but I’m wracking my brain for when it used before(this point) specifically- My understanding was the furnace refined the immortal elixirs and fruit- I’m going to assume Laozi is just theorizing and doesn’t know what actually happened

•Diamond body….👀

•Erlang gets absolutely DRIPPED out, he earned it FR

•eyes permanently irritated by the smoke churned up the the Xun trigram, someone get this man some eye drops

•he is extra pissed

•HE JUST BODIES LAOZI IM YELLING😂

•”this cosmic being fully fused with nature’s gifts passes with ease through 10,000 toils and tests”

•Big war form out to beat serious ass, he’s not jokin bitch

•” bright and luminous; ….illustrious pearl of mani he is indeed” MMMMM comparing him to a mani- a flaming (wish granting) jewel is hilarious 💀

•Tathagata bringing in the big guns (himself)

•”how tf do you know The Way and not know who I am?? And you’re so….violent” I can sense the side eye

•I wonder if Wukong has previous incarnations?? Buddha says he just reached human form this incarnation but if his rock was there at the beginning of creation, wouldn’t his soul be ‘baking’ (for lack of a better term) the whole time until he hatched?

•” and with a total lack of respect he left a bubbling pool of monkey urine” Iconic moment LMAOOOO

•smart for Wukong to leave a momento- too bad it didn’t matter lol

•ah so he was jumping to visit the pillars again, not run away(supposedly)- he’d rather prove he’s right than escape💀 that checks out

•monkey has been squished, it is now party o’clock

•are you allowed to give the Buddha drugs if it’s an offering? Like wine??🤔 “wtf is this allowed? Wtf”

•”Wukong is wiggling out”

“Dw, take this”

*slaps tag on the mountain like flex tape*

•enough room to breathe and move his hands- I would lose my mind

•Molten copper & iron pellets mimic punishments in hell (just learned this🙏), shedding the Karma like water -I feel like 500 years is pretty good tbh considering everything

Woe molten metal and iron upon ye

Chpt 8 + 9 under cut:

Chpt 8:

•lots of lovely poems in this chapter

•a paragraph recap of the past 7 chapters

•wonder what Feast of the Ullambana Bowl is? (the notes say it’s a mass for the dead and is also know as the Ghost festival, practiced by Taoists and Buddhists)

•”the Chan mind shines bright like a thousand rivers’ moon; true nature’s pure and great as an unclouded sky.”

Lovely poem, and I’m beginning to realize this book is very heavily focused on the Chan school, which I don’t know why I didn’t pick up on sooner? White-Robed Guan Yin is a Chan specific form, usually depicted in their bamboo grove

•Tathagata reveals his 3 baskets of scripture after everyone is done presenting their poems, feels almost like he suggested the celebration to announce these

•Each basket corresponds to scriptures of Heaven, Earth, and the Damned- a total of 15,144 FUCKING SCROLLS

•oooo Guanyin poem!! “ a golden body filled with wisdom, fringes of dangling pearls and jade, …dark hair piled smartly in a coiled-dragon bun. With brows of new moon shape and eyes like two bright stars, her jadelike face beams natural joy. …Her orchid heart delights in green bamboos; her chaste nature loves the wisteria. The living Guanyin from the Cave of Tidal Sound.”

•5 Talismans: Embroidered Cassock that will protect him from falling back into the Wheel of Transmigration, a 9 ring priestly staff that will protect him from poison or harm, 3 tightening fillets- the Golden, the Constructive, and the Prohibitive Spell.

•Guanyin thinks this will take about 2 to 3 years💀 hooooo boy….

•FLOWING SAND RIVER!!! MY 2ND FAV BOY!!!

•Green and Black complexion, Gleaming eyes like the lights beneath a stove, forked mouth with teeth like knives and swords, and disheveled red hair

•like that Wujing is using a priest staff he def took from one of the monks he ate lol

•Wujing fighting Moksa for his life only to drop everything to apologize and talk to Guanyin LMAO

•MOKSA PICKS HIM UP BY THE COLLAR AKFKAKDJDJ

•ah, so Wujing didn’t reincarnate, he was changed, STABBED OVER 100 TIMES EVERY 7 DAYS AND FORCED TO COMMIT CANNABILSM SO HE DOESNT STARVE AS PUNISHMENT- THATS JUST LOVELY😭

•I like the interpretation that he could have been trying to signal a coup by breaking the crystal cup

•Guanyin hearing about Wujing’s string of skulls: it’s a surprise tool that will help us later

•BAJIE TIME

•this idiot bro “HOW DARE YOU TRY TO GET FLOWER PETALS IN MY EYES!!” “IDIOT THAT WAS GUANYIN” “…Guanyin is here??” “LOOK UP”

•Wuneng is reincarnated, he got beat to death in Heaven for hitting on Chang’e LMAOOOOO GET REKT

•ah yes, casually mentions killing his pig family and then his life of eating humans. Lovely.

•AO LIE TIME

•I committed a little accidental arson, please bail me out

•Damn, he got a really short intro

•interesting that Guanyin id’s the Peach Banquet as Wukongs fall from grace. I would def agree with this- eating the peaches like he did was extremely reckless and the beginning of the end imo

•”who tf is talking shit up there”

•No one has ever visited Wukong, I’m guessing the Guards were horrible company

•I like how both Guanyin and Sanzang try to give Wukong a religious name- Guanyin is very happy to hear he has the Wu- prefix as well lol

•arrived in Chang’an, let the hunt begin

Chpt 9:

•Chang’an bb, all blooming flowers surrounded by 8 rivers (DAMN, that’s a lot of water)

•Guangrui got first place in the examination, good for him UwU

•SURPRISE WIFE

•”gave the girl to Guangrui as his bride” UM I THINK SHES THE ONE WHO GRABBED HIM LMAO

•Guangrui has some fated beef with these two random boatmen, Liu Hong and Li Biao- states that he was destined in a previous incarnation to be enemies with them, is this a result of bad karma?

•NOOOOOO MY GUY GUANGRUI

•Liu Hong reminds me of Liu’er Mi-*gunshot*

•since they’re at the bottom of the Hong river, which Dragon King is this?

•Golden Carp coming in clutch, nice

•LADY YIN IS SO METAL LETS GO “she hated the bandit so bitterly that she wished she could devour his flesh and sleep on his skin” DO IT GURL, KILL HIM

•damn, too bad she’s pregnant with Sanzang….dw Girl I know you would kick his ass otherwise…

•there goes his toe…

•get named River Float idiot

•damn bro chill, that wasn’t very monk-like of you

•homie got called an orphan and cried JAKDJSJFJ I FEEL BAD

•she didn’t even check the toe I THOUGHT SHE DID- WHAT WAS THE POINT LMAO

•nvmnd

•I guess licking the eyes is better than spitting on them…sigh…

•GODDAMN THEY RIPPED LIU HONG AND LI BAIO APART….good for them, deserved in fact

•Lady Yin committing suicide even after she was reunited with her husband makes sense, as there was a trend where wives whose husbands died or they were assaulted, killed themselves. This was show loyalty to their husbands and add weight to their claim of SA- Lady Yin’s husband coming back does not change the fact that everyone knows she was forcefully married :((

(I use the term ‘trend’ only as a way to describe the rise and fall in wife suicides tied to either a husbands death or as a response to SA)

[hyperfixated-on-cod]

✨Smoking with 141, König, Los Vaqueros✨ (CW: cannabis use, 18+)

(This was supposed to be posted like 3 days ago lol but either way…) (the 18+ warning is for a very brief reason but it’s still there)

I got absolutely fucking ASTRONOMICALLY high last night sooo here’s some headcanons😍

John Price

Smoked a little bit here and there when he first enlisted, but eventually quit when he realized he was serious about his career in the military. (I personally don’t think he planned from the start to climb the ranks like he did)

It will take a LOTTT of convincing to get him to smoke with you, and if he agrees, it’s reasonable to assume you’re very special to him.

Goes into it acting like a career stoner… but in reality he hasn’t touched the stuff in about 15 years🙃

If you can’t get him to partake, he absolutely will hang with you while you’re high. All you gotta do is ask.

Prefers edibles simply because “I like having lungs.” Even though the man LITERALLY SMOKES CIGARS😭

Ghost

I don’t think he’s a stoner but like… I also think he does have an edible from time to time, for medical reasons (mostly mental health).

Not many people know this about him; Price knows and helps him plan accordingly for drug tests and makes sure that it’s noted in his file that he uses it for medical reasons; Soap found out on accident.

Under no circumstances does he ever let anybody see him high, so good luck getting him to smoke with you lol

Only gets high when he knows he’s in the clear with work and will be for awhile (so, when he’s on leave). If he feels like he needs to get high (like if he’s just coming back from a particularly hard mission), he goes to Price and asks if it’s okay.

Prefers edibles because he finds it more relaxing and it’s easier for him to take one, and then he gets an hour or so to do other stuff before it hits.

Soap

This man is a stoner. Period point blank.

If he isn’t the first of these men you ask to smoke with you, and he finds out about it, he will be SO offended.

Gets high just to get high. Everything else is a bonus.

Started when he was young, like 16. Quit for awhile as his career was getting more serious, and then he started again.

The whole team knows but nobody really cares because he’s super responsible about it like Ghost is. He plans far ahead of time, doesn’t do it unless he’s off base, etc.

This man is such a giggly bitch and his laugh is so infectious; he’s the first to start laughing and everybody else follows.

Very flirty when he’s high and texts Ghost messages that are just like “🩷🩷💕💕💘💘”

He is so ridiculously horny when he’s high. Been tryna convince Ghost for agessss to get high with him so they can 👉🏽👌🏽

Gaz

Honestly? I don’t think he’s into weed all that much.. or really any substance. He drinks here and there and is never opposed to having a glass of whiskey with Price, but that’s really it.

He has done it tho, and didn’t have a good experience. I feel like he’s a very logical person, so after his first time he probs figured the first time sucked bc it was the first time. So he did it a few more times but nothing changed.

On the off chance he agrees to smoke with you, he wants “adult supervision” (Captain Price lol) just in case he has another bad time.

Makes sure the environment will be 100% controlled. Comfort of his own home, lays out rules and boundaries with you and the Captain (“don’t let me do too much,” “here’s what to do if…”), soft music playing, pillows and blankets everywhere.

König

Again, you’re lucky if you get him to do it with you.

His giggles are somehow worse than Soap’s and significantly more adorable😂

His munchies are SOOO bad. Like, he may plan ahead of time and lay out some snacks to prepare… but he ends up not wanting any of them and stumbles to his kitchen for something else.

He’s a big guy so it takes a bit to get him going, but once he’s there he’s there.

Alejandro

Doesn’t partake. Never has and probably never will. He’s been curious, but just never felt the need to act on that curiosity.

He’s cool about people close to him doing it tho, and will also hang with you while you’re high. Provides some of the BEST snacks.

Rudy

He does do it but he’s… pretentious about it. In a good way.

Oh, you’re bringing him gummies from the dispensary? No. He’s making homemade edibles but not like brownies or cookies; he’s making pasta with infused olive oil or some other type of meal.

He’s super careful about his measurements and makes sure that the product he’s using is as high quality as he can get it.

If you wanna get high with him, go into it on an empty stomach bc he’s gonna make sure y’all eat a damn good meal in the process.

[catindabag]

TBOSAS on Crack short take (30)

*When Dean Highbottom revealed all the Mentors’ infamous list of crimes to everyone at The Academy*

Casca: Thank you, my dear students, for coming to our annual school meeting in Heavensbee Hall. May this year start with good-

Festus: *raises hand* Sir! Dean Highbottom Sir, will there be free food after?!

Casca: Put your hand down, Mr. Creed. And do shut up while I’m spea-

Festus: But I’m hungry~.🥺

Iphigenia: Me too!

Androcles: Can we have pizza? I really want to eat a slice of pizza right now.

Coryo: Is pie even on the menu?

Pup: Does anyone want soup?

Sejanus: I brought bread pudding.

Felix: Can we have takeouts?

Casca: Wait a damn minute! Creed, why are you and your classmates here?! Didn’t I personally banned your class from attending forever?!

Coryo: *stands up* But sir, this is The Academy’s annual meeting. Our class must be allowed to-

Casca: Sit the f*ck down and shut your mouth, Crassus Snow!😡🔪

Coryo: But-

Casca: Not another word, Xanthos!

Festus: Can we ask why?

Casca: Why?! Do you even remember what your class did last year?!

Felix: Sir, I swear it wasn’t us!

Androcles: I wasn’t even there when that incident blew up!

Casca: Don’t you dare lie to me, boy! You were even one of the masterminds-

Livia: Oh, move on, Highbottom!🙄💅

Coryo: Yeah! The water wasn’t even that deep-

Casca: Your freaking accursed class flooded the entire Heavensbee Hall with glitter!

Hilarius: Well, no one got hurt.

Festus: And everyone enjoyed-

Casca: Do you know how much money The Academy had to pay the freaking Department of Education to fix your mess?! To fix our screen?! To get rid of the hot pink glitter?!

Coryo: The glitter was Livia’s idea-

Casca: I had to take another freaking big ass loan from Mama Cardew!😩

Livia: And because of that, my allowance tripled!🥳

Felix: It wasn’t that bad-

Casca: I should’ve just expelled all of you! Especially you, Creed!!

Festus: But you didn’t!😂

Casca: Do you even know how many crimes I had to cover up for your class?!

Androcles: What crimes are we speaking of? Outside or just inside the school?

Felix: I ain’t no criminal! I’m innocent!

Casca: Just let me grab my list. . . Oh, here it is! *reveals a big ass book instead*

Livia: is that your very own Burn Book?

Casca: Mic check, mic check-

Coryo: Well, Andie, good luck. I just hope they didn’t tell Highbottom about the missing Pitbull Rabbit Incident.

Androcles: You know what, I hope they did.😌

Lysistrata: Impressive, really.

Casca: Let’s start small. The first petty crime your class committed was the stealing and eating of the Dean’s favorite apple pie without remorse.

Coryo: That was one time.

Lysistrata: Twelve times, Coryo.

Casca: Another was when a certain someone deliberately locked me up inside the broom closet. Also, without remorse.

Florus: What? I didn’t want to receive a demerit. And I really needed to steal that bleach from the Dean.

Casca: The third was when a certain rich girl illegally customized and dyed our prestigious school uniform sunshine yellow without my consent.

Juno: Excuse me? Yellow was the color of that season, peasant.💅

Casca: There was also that time when someone stole my Bichon puppy and dyed its fluffy fur lime green.

Io: I swear it was in the name of science.

Casca: *keeps on reading* Stealing and hacking my personal computer to change his or her math and literature grade.

Apollo: To be fair, Andie just helped us do the stealing.

Iphigenia: So who did the hacking?

Diana: Coryo Snow.

Coryo: 50 bucks is 50 bucks.

Sejanus: And you guys didn’t even think to invite me?!

Casca: Quiet! Now where was I-

Clemensia: Page 4, paragraph 5, line 7, Sir.

Casca: Oh, yes. Calling and pestering the National Security, just because his calculator was stolen.

Urban: It was a serious national crisis! We had a calculus test that day!

Androcles: And I needed that calculator more than Urban.

Casca: The smuggling of illegal drugs to school, and passing them off as ✨Miracle Pills✨.

Lysistrata: Last I checked, my parents are certified doctors. But for legal reasons, it wasn’t me, officer.

Casca: Dumpster-diving for scraps before class, and lying to Peacekeepers that it was a legitimate after-school activity.

Festus: Collecting free food coupons inside Highbottom’s dumpster is not a crime!

Casca: Skipping school for the hundredth time to attend an underground fancy-dress rave.

Arachne: What? Domitia and Vipsania were also doing it.

Casca: Emptying the school’s food pantry to feed their Tributes.

Coryo: Oh, c’mon! I wasn’t the only one! The Ring twins and the others were doing it too!

Casca: Stealing the Dean’s morphling bottles and illegally reselling them at the Capitol Black Market.

Androcles: Honestly, I needed the extra cash.

Felix: Why? Your family’s rich.

Androcles: My mama froze my allowance after I stole my uncle’s credit card to buy “prohibited” fireworks for the New Year.

Casca: The Smuggling and trading of banned films and items at school for personal profit.

Dennis: It was a really good and profitable business!

Casca: Vandalizing the school’s Hall of Fame by spray painting their family crest on every corner of the hallway.

Hilarius: And it was worth it.

Casca: Poisoning and almost killing half of the school by bringing their infamous deadly apple pies to our ✨End of The Year Class Party✨.

Palmyra: Well, I just hope that this juvenile criminal was caught and sentenced to prison.😌💅

Casca: Annually scaring the freshmen by dressing up as a bloody serial killer cannibal ghost every October.

Persephone: It was pretty funny though.

Casca: Lying to the School Board Committee that I was a certain someone’s sugar daddy who willingly pays for his sugar baby’s education.

Livia: You weren’t?! I mean, you and Coriolanus Snow were so-

Coryo: What the actual f*ck, Livia!

Sejanus: Coryo’s mine!!😡🔪

Casca: Secretly depleting and embezzling the class fund without their classmates’ consent.

Iphigenia: Oh, that’s so horrible! Who would ever do such a horrid thing?

Everyone:. . .

Iphigenia: But for legal reasons, I hope they’ll be caught soon.

Casca: Hacking the school’s sound system to automatically play ✨Gem of Panem✨ whenever I enter and exit a room.

Diana: It was funny!

Casca: Bringing a whole ass dairy cow to their Class Show & Tell, just to milk it in front of the judges.

Domitia: I was thirsty!😩

Casca: Stealing a Jabberjay from Dr. Gaul’s lab and teaching it to say “Your school sucks! Go home, Losers!” to guest students and professors.

Vipsania: To be fair, my aunt (Professor Sickle) gave me her permission.

Casca: Forging his father’s very important signature in order to skip school and attend an underground rap competition.

Pup: The prize money was really worth it, Sir!

Casca: Smuggling illegal sexy magazines and secretly placing them inside my office.

Gaius: To be fair, it was a dare.

Casca: Using his granduncle’s influential family name and position to delay the Hunger Games for the hundredth time.

Felix: Can’t we just officially postpone it forever? No one really wants to watch it anyway.

Casca: Lying to Capitol News that I was unfairly treating and harassing a certain student for being poor.

Clemensia: I wasn’t lying! You were literally emotionally abusing poor Coryo!😠

Casca: How dare you place yourself between me and my Crassus! You have no right to slander me and my boyfriend like that!

Clemensia: *sighs* I should’ve added “delusional” as well.😞

Casca: Now, where was I? Oh, yes! Stealing my boyfriend (Crassus) and claiming that their so called “Snowjanus” ship is better than #Crasca4Ever!

Sejanus: Becuase it is the superior ship!

Casca: No, it’s not!😡🔪

[heartbreakgrill]

kol mikaelson; best friend’s brother pt. 5- don’t blame me.

“oh, lord, save me. my drug is my baby i’ll be using for the rest of my life.

a/n: oooookay 😂 one more part after this? no promises? this chapter is cool and i like it but be warned it’s semi boring.

@fitzs-trained-monkey @fandomrulesall-blog @princess-charming-01

i was shunned.

it had been two months and i hadn't heard from rebekah. she'd stopped coming to school the day directly after her discovery. she texted caroline, informing her she wasn't going to be apart of the cheer team anymore. she was even respectful enough to return the uniform to her.

but she wouldn't answer any of my texts or calls.

i stared longingly at her usual desk in each and every class. paying attention was difficult when there was a newfound hole in my heart. i'd never been so close to somebody before, especially in such a small time frame. and suddenly she was gone.

all because of me.

i took up more shifts at the grill and was on the precipice of full-time. caroline, bonnie, and elena started having me over more often. but i excluded myself from supernatural conflicts. it's not like i had offered any good skills anyways.

it was better this way, i told myself.

elena would make jokes about how it was good i had decided to stop seeing rebekah. like i'd had a choice.

"i'm sure it was fun sometimes, but god, i would be sick to my stomach with fear," elena remarked, tossing popcorn into her mouth.

it was a friday night after the last football game of my entire life. a moment i should've gotten to share with rebekah.

i smiled, tight lipped. "yeah."

no.

i missed it.

it felt more normal than this.

movie marathons, making fun of romantic scripts. stuffing our faces with pizza and popcorn and soda. swimming until 3am, listening to one direction. a guaranteed 'ride' home from school everyday.

fuck, i'd even finally gotten my license. my mom started taking me out to practice with my learner's permit and, after a few weeks, i passed the test with flying colors. all my hours at the grill over the past two years made up enough money for a down payment on a decent car. i wished rebekah was in the passenger seat every time i left school. vamping was fun- but i had the entire world at my tires now. with no one to see it with.

though i did miss her vamping me everywhere. it always led to a laugh, a new happy  memory to be shared between the two of us.

there would no more of those.

i'd gone to the house numerous times, of course. i'd waited a month to do so, afraid that if i came too soon, it would slice open the wound and pour lemon on the cut. the first time, i'd waited on the porch for ten minutes, fingers nervously playing with my lanyard. rebekah always joked that she would buy me a keychain whenever i got my license. she wanted to be the first one to do so.

but i'd had to buy my own.

i knocked, eventually. klaus opened the door. he smiled sadly, down at me.

"hello, love," he nodded once. affirming the situation. it was as bad as i thought.

"i-" i shut my mouth tightly. my voice was weak. "is rebekah here?"

klaus shook his head, left to right, "she left."

my heart sunk a little further. i was afraid it would drop out of me if it went any further. "where'd she go?"

left? the house? the family? the state? life itself? had klaus daggered her? had she decided to tap out of it all?

klaus leaned against the frame, crossed his arms. "my family founded new orleans, a long, long time ago. we had a house- a compound there. elijah thought it might be a good idea for us to leave mystic falls behind and start over. rebekah finalized that decision after- you."

tears welled up in my eyes. i quickly brushed my fingers against my cheeks, soaking up the water there. it kept coming though, and i sniffled at the flood. "oh. ok. i'm sorry- sorry to have come."

i went to leave, but klaus caught my wrist in his hand. he looked down at me, pitifully. his pupils were rounded out with compassion. that was the klaus caroline saw. that humanity. he pulled me into a hug.

it wasn't awkward or tense. i sunk into his arms, and the tears flowed from my eyes. he held me gently, one hand at my back, the other at the nape of my neck. his fingers were soothing on my skin, comforting me back from the ledge. eventually, i pulled away, flashing an embarrassed smile.

"um," i gulped, "when you see her, will..."

klaus nodded encouragingly. "it may take a while, but she'll hear you eventually. i can't promise forgiveness or the chance to move forward. she's stubborn. but she does love you. always and forever."

i shut my eyes tightly, a shaky breath reaching the bottom of my stomach. "thank you."

the other times i went, the house was empty. i just wanted to soak in the memories there, the smell of the garden, the chlorine of the pool, the aura of rebekah's room. i stood on the porch, staring at the door, willing it to unlock. then, i saw a envelope, sticking out from underneath a rock on the porch. my name was on the front, in a beautiful, cursive writing. it was heavier than an envelope of its size should be.

i quickly tore it open, careful not to rip the thick packet of papers inside. a letter from klaus was enclosed, along with a key, and that packet.

"dearest y/n,

i have enclosed the deed to our home here in mystic falls and in new orleans. i put them in your name. i didn't want to sell this one, in case my family wants to one day return. but i additionally wanted you to have it. i hope it's consolation, though it's not enough for what you've gone through since the supernatural first knocked on your door. the second is so we have a reason for unwanted to not be able to come in. i hope it's ok if i call you, need i your invitation.

below is the address of our compound in new orleans and my new cell phone number. one day, i hope we see you again. you are a mikaelson now, no matter what happens.

affectionately, klaus.'

i tipped the envelope and the key dropped into my hand and a necklace fell to the porch. i picked it up, hands beginnig to shake when i saw the mikaelson seal branded on its charm.

i burst into tears again.

–

kol was a different story.

for a week after, he came to see me. after school, walks home from the grill, a trip or two out to our over look. it was tense at times, especially when one of us would bring up the issue at hand. but we tried to push through. if i had been completely abandoned, i didn't know if i would've been able to move on so well. not that i was moving on at all.

then, after a week, he started making excuses. i waited for an hour after my shift at the grill one night. he never showed. so i walked home, wishing my drivers test would come sooner. it happened again later in the week. i waited twenty minutes.

at that fridays football game, i looked for his face in the crowd. he was nowhere to be seen. i texted him, called him. he sent back excuses, apologies that were empty. i'm sure rebekah was threatening him, and he felt pressured- but what about me? he'd roped me into this mess, and now he was leaving me on the side of the road. he was breaking the trust if built, brick by dirty brick.

eventually, his responses stopped. i cried myself to sleep two nights in a row when i realized he was never going to come to my window again. and when klaus told me they were moving, i stuffed kol's hoodie in the back of my closet, his boxers in a drawer somewhere.

movie tickets, a pressed flower, a polaroid of him. it was empty romance now. a hopeless dream i had once wished and was now paying for.

i should've known.

rebekah had been wrong. i never needed this- a hurricane, disrupting my life when it was just getting great. what lesson would i learn? that i was a shitty friend? that i was vulnerable and stupid and fucking hopeless.

when i got my license, i drove myself out to the cliff. i wore his hoodie, hoping it would bring me a sense of closure. i sat on the open trunk of my car, clutching the necklace around my throat. i hid it under my shirt everyday. it was still valuable to me. it made me feel a little better.

tears wallowed down my face, sobs threatening to burst through my mouth. i put in my headphones and listened to his songs, his favorite lyrics. the 1975 was truly meant for douche bags like him.

i sat silently, staring at the full moon, howling down at me like it was humorous, this barren moment. here i was, alone. where we had once been together.

in every way.

i swear i heard a twig snap from the woods. i jumped off the trunk, spinning around to face whatever danger was there.

"hello?" i peered into the darkness, tired and afraid. i pulled a headphone from my ear.

a shadow moved along the tree line and my eyes snapped towards it. it dissipated as moonlight streaked across the trees.

someone had been there. or maybe it was a trick in my head.

i went home.

life moved on.

fall bled into winter, but the only real change in the days was the bitter cold that came some nights. it snowed, only sometimes, and i relished in the excuse to skip school, work, to just lay in bed. i carried my chair to the balcony some times, sat there and watched the snow fall around me. i'd shiver under a blanket, and get a cold every once and awhile. but it felt good to freeze.

i was a walking cliche for some months. until i let myself thaw a little. caroline and i became closer friends. it began one day after school, when i was at my locker. she offered for me to come with her, elena, and bonnie to a tour of white more college. i declined. she asked why. i shrugged.

"are you.." i watched her take a deep breath. her brows furrowed. she frowned. "y/n...are you okay? god, how has nobody noticed how- i'm so sorry."

she latched onto me, hugging me tightly to her chest. my eyes watered a bit.

"it's fine, care," i pushed off of her. i felt like i was choking. "there's bigger issues in the world than my broken heart."

"no, god, y/n..." she sighed, "you lost your best friend and your...boyfriend? you lost kol all within the span of a month. i don't know what happened between you two, but i do remember that night- rebekah's party. you had feelings for him. and he left you. what happened?"

i shut my locker, crossed my arms over my chest, "i don't know. they moved to new orleans. i guess i was too heavy of baggage to pack."

caroline shook her head, "no, don't say that. that's not true. hey- screw bonnie and elena. why don't we go out tonight? get drunk at some random bar, cry over tequila shots and dance with small-town 7 looking boys?"

i let myself laugh for the first time in a long time. i nodded, "sure. that sounds...fun, actually."

hours later; i was dressed up in the tiniest black piece of cloth, wearing a pair of caroline's heels that made my feet groan when i walked. i let her curl my hair, do my makeup. all of it took too much energy- but i needed to stop moping. i needed to close the chapter on mourning and start writing the one for healing.

i needed to start getting ready for graduation. prepare to spend my last summer as a kid in my hometown.

the mikaelsons weren't going to ruin my life. not my senior year.

i threw my head back, a tequila shot burning down my throat. i coughed into my elbow slightly, looking at Caroline with a grin. she cheered as i slammed the glass back onto the bar.

the music blared in my ears, another 2000s pop hit that was only fun to listen to in bars like this. we danced, drank stuff she compelled out of the bartender, and i sat and watched as she flirted with two boys.

they came over to us and she looked to me, "let's go dance with them! fuck kol!"

i shook my head, laughing, "no, thanks. you go, have fun!"

i slid off the bar stool. she frowned at me, but shrugged. "if you insist!"

i watched her escape to the dance floor with the two boys. they fell into the crowd easily, dancing perfectly on beat to the miley cyrus song. i glanced around the crowd, at the different dancers taking up the space in the bar. my eyes fell over the face of a brown-headed boy. his hair fell in perfect swoops on his head, curling slightly at the nape of his neck.

my heart beat skipped as he turned towards me, laughing with his friends. there were crinkles in his cheeks, white teeth gleaming between rosy pink lips. my gaze flickered to his eyes, shining bright chocolate in the dimmed lighting in the bar.

i thought i was going to puke.

i stumbled out the back door of the bar, bracing my hands on the brick wall by the dumpster. it was freezing outside and goosebumps immediately prickled at my skin. i tucked my hair behind my ears furiously, taking deep, stubborn breaths.

i needed to hear his voice. i needed- needed something from him. an echo. a memory.

i pulled out my phone, quickly dialing the number i had memorized.

and he answered.

"kol?" i nearly sobbed, tears flecking down my face, smearing my mascara.

there was nothing but silence on the other end of the line.

then i heard a shuffle. my heart nearly jumped out of my chest.

"kol," i breathed, "i know you're t-there. i k- why did you leave me? why did you just leave me here to deal with this mess? you said that i meant something to you, and then you just left. who does that? i-i put everything on the line for you! i put my trust in you! and you fucking left me! you kno-"

my voice cracked, and a sob burst through my lips. "i think i-"

i set my hand against the wall, my shoulder brushing up against it as a cry wracked my body.

"i think i might have loved you."

i heard another shuffle on his end.

"but, i guess i'll just let that go. i hope that you're okay- you deserve to be okay, even though you left me here. alone. i'm going to say goodbye even though you didn't give that to me. goodbye, kol. i miss you."

i hung up. he wasn't going to talk anyways.

taking a deep breath, i threw my phone across the narrow alleyway because of a burst of anger. it hit the wall, broke into pieces.

it was time to let it go anyways.

–

5 months passed.

i was sitting on the couch in the salvatore boarding house. caroline sat beside me, annoyed, with her arms crossed over her chest.

i popped another grape in my mouth, the plastic baggy in my hand crinkling. "sure you don't want a grape?"

caroline rolled her eyes with a huff. "i want to go get ready to graduate high school- not sit here and wait for damon to solve this weeks crisis."

i rose my brows in surprise, chewed on another grape. "forget i asked."

i wasn't exactly 100% sure what was happening: though i'd grown back into this friend group, and simultaneously gotten involved in a few conflicts here and there, i wasn't always up to date on the news. i tried to stay on the sidelines, as per usual, especially after i was almost killed two months ago.

being close with caroline, meant getting close with the entire group. which, now, was fine. two months ago, it was overwhelming. one minute, i had been with her at the local mall. shopping. the next, i was tied up in some back-alley, abandoned store, with a head wound and a knife in my stomach.

i still don't remember much from that day. but i do remember jeremy.

he had stormed in, to my recuse, only a few hours after i'd been kidnapped by some big shot vampire with a grudge against stefan. jeremy had prioritized me. bonnie had done a locator spell and, instead of waiting for a negotiation, he came and got me.

caroline was there beside him. she took out the enemy and then offered me her blood. i denied it for the first time in my life. i'd never been in this situation before. but i knew the potential consequences of healing quickly like that.

i chose the hospital.

i let jeremy untie the ropes, carefully pick me up, and carry me to the ER. he sat with me for three days- there even when even my mother and father weren't.

he held my hand, soothed my headaches, and made sure i was always stocked up on cafeteria jello.

that's when i felt the hole in my heart stitch up. that's when i fully started to like waking up again. when i was noticed again, when my existence mattered. when i had someone to listen to me ramble about my night at work, someone to cheer me on at basketball games when i was cheering on our team.

when i had someone there to hold me, to soothe the ache away. to fill the void. someone who wasn't fleeting. someone who wasn't dangerous and bad.

the door to the boarding house flung upon. damon sauntered in, heading straight for the whiskey bottle. elena, jeremy, and bonnie followed behind him. bonnie looked exhausted. elena had blood on her shirt. and jeremy's shoulders dropped in exhaustion as he set down the heavy duffel bag of vampire weapons.

i looked to his kind brown eyes, and watched them light up as he met mine. i stood from my seat, feeling pulled towards him. the others dropped out of my vision, out of my focus, as i reached for his face with gentle hands. my stomach did flutter with some kind of feeling for him. it wasn't as strong, as passionate. but it was there.

"are you okay?" i comforted, examining him for wounds.

his hands came to rest at my back. "yeah, i'm good. elena and damon got to em before i could."

"good," i let out a deep breath. "that's good."

jeremy hugged me tight. i closed my eyes, resting my head in the crook of his neck. i breathed in his scent. i relished being held. i relished having someone to care and worry for like this.

it wasn't jeremy's fault i didn't care that it was him.

because if he stayed silent long enough, i could pretend, for even a second, that he was a different body under my touch. that his songs were different when they played in the car, that he took me on more emotionally connecting dates than the grill.

i did care about him. i always had. i'd known jeremy since i was ten, he was 8. my family just moved to mystic falls. and elena, bonnie, and caroline became my friends. frequent sleepovers were spent at the gilbert house. and jeremy was the lame little brother who, i guess, secretly harbored a crush on me for years.

each time he'd died over the past two years, i had cried. i'd mourned him at his funerals, was hopefull when he'd returned from the dead. because i cared for him.

but, now, i was standing on the edge of a cliff. he had jumped a long, long time ago. my feet were hanging off of the ledge- and i couldn't bring myself to let go of the sky holding me up.

i felt my heart tear open a bit, felt the bleeding start. i pulled away, hands beginning to shake.

because, though i had thawed from my icy regret, i was still soaking wet from the past

jeremy let go, but his eyes turned down in concern, "what's wrong?"

i brushed my hair behind my ear and gave a pathetically fake smile. "nothing. i was just worried."

i turned to caroline, who was now standing, anxiously wanting to just leave already. i was right there with her. sometimes, i could handle dancing on the precipice with jeremy. sometimes his eyes would glitter just the way kol's had, and i wouldn't be able to breathe.

just now, i had caught a scent similar to kol's cologne. and i needed out. 

"care?" i called out.

she met my gaze, her eyes fierce with precision, "we have exactly three hours and 35 minutes until they call our names out on that football field. if we leave now, and get back to your place, we'll have three hours and 20 minutes. it takes an hour to curl my hair- then an hour to do yours-"

"care!" i interrupted, annoyed. "get in the car and let's go."

her eyes slammed shut as she took a deep, grounding breath. "alright," she opened her gaze, "let's go graduate!"

we bid adieu to our friends. jeremy walked us out to my car, caroline following ahead of us. jeremy held my hand sweetly, thumb brushing against the skin on the back of my hand.

i watched caroline climb into the passenger seat as we passed through the front door. i stopped in my tracks, pulling jeremy to a halt beside me.

he glanced down at me, smiling, "how ya feeling?"

i shrugged, "like a high school graduate."

he snickered. "not quite yet. give it a few hours."

i crinkled my nose with a small giggle. "i'll see you out at the stadium?"

"yeah," he nodded. jeremy looped an arm around my waist. he leaned down, placed a sweet kiss on my lips.

my eyes fell shut, and i appreciated in the physical affection. but my brain flickered with images.

i could never forget, no matter how far i moved on.

i tugged away. i always did first.

i was a shitty person. but i couldn't be alone again.

jeremy grinned at me as i waved goodbye.

within ten minutes, caroline was curling my hair while i did my makeup. she played music on her phone, a compilation of songs from when we were younger. it made us both emotional, and i'd had to redo my mascara three times.

rebekah should've been there. i loved caroline. i was grateful i'd gained her out of the mess of the past few months. but rebekah was supposed to be there, in my room, playing one direction, straightening my hair, probably. she should've been there, complaining about four more years of school- something she secretly enjoyed. dressing up a beautiful white dress, adorning her graduation gown with medals and sashes.

days like today were sensitive for me, i guess.

when i was done, caroline sat my vanity and started on herself. i changed into my white dress, and plopped on my bed to lace up my heels. but, i heard my mom call my name from downstairs. i padded, barefoot, into the hall, with furrowed brows.

leaning over the steps, i yelled down to her, "what?"

"there's someone at the door for you!"

i straightened up, confusion washing over my face. my fingers reached for my neck, for a necklace- the necklace- to tug at. it was a nervous habit. something soothing in moments of uncertainty.

but i'd stopped wearing it whenever i'd gotten back with my friends. i didn't ever think they'd be comfortable with that idea of who i had been associated for those three months. for some reason, they couldn't see the mikaelsons how i did.

besides caroline, none of them even knew about kol. they just thought rebekah had done what every other mikaelson always does- abandoned loyalty. abandoned me, destroyed my happiness for the sake of power or blood.

little did they know.

my fingers met the chain of a necklace my mother had bought me as a present for today. i tugged at it as i descended the stairs. it still brought some comfort.

i turned at the bottom of the stairs, to face the door. my mother stood beside it, hand dangling off of the knob as she spoke to the person on our porch. my eyes wandered away from her figure, and to the boy standing in the doorway.

my heart hammered in my chest. i flushed red, out of excitement and worry. his eyes peeled away from my mother's, a brilliant grin dancing on his face. my mom turned, following his eyes. he held two large bouquets of roses, one pink, one white.

my mom smiled at me, "she's here! you have a visitor, y/n."

she walked past me, frozen at the bottom of the steps, and squeezed my shoulder encouragingly. she knew i hated talking to people. if only she knew...

when the door to her office squeaked shut, i finally spoke. "klaus?" i squeaked out. i managed to put a foot out in front of me, attempted to pull myself toward. my hands fell off of the banister, slack at my sides.

his smile widened, "hello, love. may i come in?"

i stopped at the door. my jaw was hung open. "what are you doing here?"

he offered the pink bouquet of flowers. "i wanted to you see you graduate. one of us should be here."

i took the bouquet from him, eyes widening at the gorgeous dozen of roses. i wanted to cry a little bit at the thoughtful gesture, but i swallowed my feelings. i couldn't let myself go like that again.

"thank you," i held them like a baby in my arms. "uh, please, come in."

klaus stepped inside as the magical barrier fell. i shut the door. he looked around, admiring the inside of my house. i watched him carefully, trying to examine any ulterior motives. not that he would do anything bad. but had something happened? was he here to deliver news? good news?

"why are you here?" klaus turned to my voice.

he crossed his hands in front of him, "to see you graduate."

i rose my brows, pursed my lips. "that's it?"

klaus let out a small chuckle, head falling forward. "can it wait until after? after youre done?"

i shook my head, hugging the roses tighter. "tell me. please."

my lip wobbled as he looked to me. his eyes swam with worry, sadness. bad news.

i bit down on my lip.

"rebekah has turned off her humanity,” he barely whispered.

i swallowed thickly, tears falling freely down my cheeks. "um-"

the floor creaked on the stairs. both our heads whipped towards the sound. caroline stared down at us, concerned.

"klaus? what the hell is going on?" she clutched the banister. she looked dreadful.

i brushed hair behind my ear, "here. uh, let's go up to my room."

he followed behind me up the steps, the old wood freaking beneath our feet. i couldn't help but notice him peer at caroline, sweetly, slyly, with the flicker of a cheeky smirk on his lips. she rolled her eyes- but i saw the red dance along her cheeks when he walked past.

i shut my door behind us with a click. then, i took a seat on the edge of my bed. my legs were shaking, and i couldn't trust myself to stand. caroline sat back at the vanity, continuing her makeup, hesitantly. she never could waste a single second, but she listened intently.

klaus looked around my room, admiring the decorations. his eyes fell on a picture frame on my desk. he walked over to it, picked it up gingerly.

"rebekah wasn’t doing well after…well, you know…”"

i felt sick. i hugged my stomach as if that would hold my together.

klaus continued, admiring the picture frame with a small smile. "she was at her worst, y/n. do you remember that diner that was slaughtered on the edge of town back in october?"

i nodded. caroline let out a little breath, a bit of shock.

klaus hummed, “that was our girl. part of the reason elijah suggest we leave mystic falls, was because rebekah was drawing eyes onto our family. we narrowly avoided our house being burnt down. that’s when i transferred it to your possession. and we finally decided it was time to leave. in louisiana, rebekah was murdering by the dozens. when confronted, she’d get hostile. threaten all of us with daggers, a white oak stake shed somehow come into possession of. she nearly killed kol-“

i shuddered. caroline was brushing eyeshadow across her lids when she saw me sob into my hand through the reflection of the mirror. she quickly set the brush down, vamped next to me on the bed.

i fell into her embrace. she looked to klaus, "maybe use less descriptive words, yeah?"

klaus shook his head, "kol fled. he was missing for three months. when he returned, she daggered him. i’ve kept him under just until we’ve got her under control. his bodies hidden, far from her influence. then, we managed to corner her one night. we were going to dagger her. that was my sister’s tipping point. and we watched as she shut down. she shut it off. rebekah went missing for another two months. finn just found her in paris. she was- she was worse, if at all possible. elijah and i managed to dagger her. we transported her back to our compound. shackled her, let her wake up."

caroline grabbed a tissue off my bedside table. she dabbed at my wet cheeks carefully. i sniffled.

klaus finished up, "i know daggering her for a hundred years would be easier. but i'm done punishing my family for what my mother did to us. i want to save her- i want to help her. she deserves that from me. but i need your help."

my eyes fell to the floor, as if answers lay there within the cracks of wood. i had to go. i had to help bring rebekah back. i had to be the glue for this fucked up family. with a gulp, i joked, "at least i won't be missing any school."

caroline giggled sadly. she brushed the hair away from my face, attempting to soothe me down. klaus stared at the picture frame. he carefully set it back down on the desk. rebekah and i smiled into the camera, dressed in our cheer uniforms. i peered at it, more tears clouding my vision. she was my twin flame, i just knew it. she was the best friend i’d ever had.

and she needed me. even if she didn’t know it.

"i have a room ready for you. a plane ticket for later tonight. i can have your things packed while you're gone."

i nodded. i stood, confidently this time, from my bed. my knees still shook as i said, "okay. let's do this."

the rest of the day flew by- not in the good way i thought it would, though. i attempted to smile my way through the ceremony, faking cheeriness in the endless photos with my family. i kissed jeremy, pretending like what we had was good, that things weren't going to change- that they had ever done so in the first place.

i didn't tell anyone. not my mother- who sobbed into a tissue the whole day- not jeremy- who'd bought me flowers, a bracelet. i let him clasp onto my wrist happily, kissed him in return for the gift. at the dinner my parents took us to, i let him make plans for our summer together. a camping trip in june, my mothers talks of move in day in august. i didn't even know where i'd be tomorrow, let alone september. college was going to be put on hold.

when the night was finally over, i decided to go to ‘bed’ early. i walked jeremy to the front door. leaning against the staircase, i watched as he slinked his jacket on. he ruffled the hair atop his head, messy locks from the long day.

my parents laughed in the living room, at some comedy on the television. i looked in their direction, lips sucked between my teeth. they were shaking.

i turned back to jeremy. he grinned at me, reached out for my waist. i fell into his embrace. he felt comfortable, safe. he would always be the better choice, i knew that. he represented everything that was good for me- home, familiarity, normalcy. because he was pure and easy.

i could learn to love him if i stayed. i could push myself off that cliff. i really could see myself choosing this path. because it was correct, on the balance scale of good and evil. his side would always win.

but i knew that would never happen. i could- but i didn't want to. i knew this trip, this journey back into the lives of the mikaelsons, was going to change my life forever. these final moments, in the front room of my childhood home, were my final ones as a human, teenage girl. the air was shifting- change was coming.

time was fleeting. and i had to go.

our fates did not match. i knew it deep in my soul. he was meant for this- a small-town, siding with the good guys, always winning. i wasn’t. i never had been.

i didn’t want that.

jeremy pulled back, hand sliding up to my cheek, holding my face delicately. his brown eyes were lit up, gentle and kind. there was so much goodness inside of him. his lips were moving, "i love you."

my brows curled up, sympathy covering my expression. my chest burned. my heart ached. this could be so easy, "i love you."

but i never wanted easy.

i wanted to have to fight for it. i wanted it to matter so much because it cost me my blood, maybe my life. life was precious, and we in mystic falls took it for granted too often. the mikaelson’s never did that. they never wasted a breath.

that was the kind of girl i had grown to be. all this time i had been avoiding supernatural conflicts, but now i was ready to solve them. ready to help- ready to lay it all down.

for love. for life.

i walked up to my room. klaus and caroline were there, waiting for me. i handed caroline three envelopes- three letters. my explanation. reasons. the tension in the room felt like i would never come back to this house. and, if i did, it would not be for a very long time.

at the gate for our flight, caroline held me tighter than i'd ever been hugged. she promised to call, made me promise that i wouldn't fall off the face of the earth. something in her eyes was lit anew- some kind of understanding, some fervent belief about me. about this.

i sat by the window on the plane, turned my body away from klaus. i watched my little town float down from beneath me, the plane rumbling up and away with intensity.

the mikaelson's needed me.

it was the first time in my life i'd ever felt that. usefulness- purpose. to care for, glue together, repair a family so broken. i didn't know why destiny had chosen me to be the one to bring them together. maybe it was my humanity, my ability to connect with life because i was living it- something. they all shared a compassion for me, and i them, that brought them together. though rebekah and kol's were misconstrued, i knew they could find peace. with my help.

as soon as we brought rebekah back. i didn't know if she'd see me and snap back into reality, but knowing her- she'd fight.

but when she'd come back, i knew it would heal. i knew she would finally break, finally forgive and hear me. it would patch my poorly stitched heart. life would be full again. even if i had to let kol go, fully, i knew a treaty could be drafted.

mystic falls was not my home. it had never felt like it. it never would. caroline was my friend- i cared for all of them. but they were not my family. my choice lay elsewhere.

i tugged on my necklace. the m gleamed under the dim lighting of the airplane bulbs.

i had a family. they were waiting for me to come back. they were waiting for me.

[ohtobeleah]

Ok a scream into the void angst/fluff idea…Jake, the cocky asshole, Mr Adonis (I think that’s what he calls his dick) maybe his girlfriend gets sick with something, or (maybe angstier) she got sick and her ex bf dumped her cause of it..she’s scared to tell Jake cause she thinks he’ll leave her…

Now Jake isn’t stupid, he sees the bottles of pills in her apartment, but his mamma raised him well enough to not ask about it…but he still watches and tries to maybe guess why she has a pharmacy in her apartment (fanboy overhears a convo with javy and suggests “drug dealer” cause he’s a little shit) and maybe she forgets to take her medication one day or something..something happens and after the doctors/er/emergency meds etc..happen she tells Jake and is all “it’s ok if you don’t want to keep going, I get it” and Jake is A: no way in hell leaving her B: researches her illness…I have SO many thoughts about this -chronic illness anon 🧠

Ok but that one chronic illness 🧠 anon back with angst fluff and a sprinkle of panic/protective Jake x sick!Gf

Maybe the illness she has doesn’t have a cure or the treatment doesn’t have great results..something like that idk this is just word-vomit atm so she goes in for this test to see if there’s something that could help..the test has her attached to a bunch of machines, she can’t leave the room or have any privacy or anything…Jake is basically living in the room with her if he can, bringing her his button up pjs cause the machine wires won’t let her wear normal pjs, if they have to have a nurse or a camera or whatever always watching for the test, he makes sure to cover her up when she’s changing or going to the bathroom or what have you….

And to make it angstier (I know how you write Leah, I’ve read bruises and whumptober 😜)

Maybe he ends up holding her or cuddling on the couch and the doctor is like “you can’t hold her cause you’re messing up the wires/machines/idk…oh boy does he give the doctor an earful when he steps out of the room.

Another angsty idea, say the doctors were like “you’d only have to do it for two weeks” and then it’s “let’s try another week” and then she ends up staying there the whole month…Jake would be comforting her every time the doctors are “let’s just keep you there more” He also is the best post-test bf, his shirts, your favorite food, movies and cuddle or just cuddles…sex but only the next day cause our baby boy doesn’t want to break you. Even if it was a test and nothing actually happened,

(why do I feel like you might combine all these angsty ideas just to make us cry 😂)

-chronic illness anon🧠

Oh wow. I can’t believe this stayed in my inbox for as long as it did before I got around to reading it. Maybe I should use this for a Christmas inspo fic. 🥺

[hidden-poet]

I just finished reading chapter 3 & 4 of commander snow and WOW!!! How are you not on New Yorks best selling author list? Jesus your writing is AMAZING!!! 

Okay the way he grabbed her neck and kept kissing and biting her neck while she was searching him for morphling in so much distress was so hot 🥵🥵 (I mean all the sexual content in commander snow is so hot; don’t even get me started on him eating her out and forcing her to give him 2 bjs in less than 24 hours 😂 soooo much to unpack there in those scenes *CHEFS KISS* MUAH)!!! He’s so proud of himself after that too with digging into that apple pie and feeding it to her 😂 And what’s this whole deal about him not fucking her until he goes back to the capitol? What does this man have planned for her?

The way he has this constant need for validation to feel love and nurture from the her warms my heart 🥹 even tho this man delusional as fuck and I shouldn’t feel bad for him but you got me conflicted over here and I WANT HIM TO CORRUPT ME😭 He’s so possessive over her and her independence 😫🥵

Coryo really out here using readers toothbrushes in both commander snow and snow lands on top 😂 but I find them sharing it so hot. I also love how this man has a constant slapping kink in each of your fics hehehe 🥵

Idk why but the way he takes over her whole bed is so funny to me 😂 but him taking her wrist and rubbing it 🥹 even though he’s the one who damaged it in the first place 😂 and the tending to her mother and comforting her (again his own damn doing LOL) 

When he says “I’ll never understand why they run.” Really boy? Really? Are you really that delusional?

I really appreciate you making these super long cause that’s my jam and can’t get enough!!! Also what I love about your dark coryo work is that you make them DARK DARK which is my absolute undoing in the world of dark fiction 🫠

I am missing so much moreeeee here but your work is making me go FERAL RN I HONESTLY CANT THINK STRAIGHT WITH THIS MAN ROAMING AROUND IN MY HEAD 247😫

I also wanted to talk about snow lands on top real quick. I LOVE Mabel absolutely love her. (Bad bitch fearless energy) especially when she drops his clothes on the floor refusing to wear them "no, thank you" 😂 And can we take a minute to acknowledge how CUTE the name Mabel is?

The way you portray Dr. Gaul is soooooooo scary scary ACCURATE to the tea! That woman truly terrifies me 😂

The way he just threatens her and her family and commands her what to do and what not to do 😫 the asking her to help him with his sock made me giggle lol.

I see grandma’am is still the same bitter old lady 😂 And the whole thing at the dinner table with the bread is so funny yet so cute on Mabels part🥹 coryo was getting really agitated at that 😂 she definitely tests his limits which is why I love Mabel sm!!

Okay him teaching her how to read and write 🫠 he's basically training her like a dog 😂 from district scum to captiol gal!!

And not this man drugging her and sprinkling his manhood all over her stomach while she’s laying there like sleeping beauty 😂 still have to give him some respect for not going all the way with her whilst in her deep slumber 😂

I cannot WAIT for the next part to drop on both these AMAZING stories!!!!!!!!!!!

This is possibly my favourite ask ever 🥺😭 you are far too kind!

Thank you for taking the time out to read my work, and further time to write out this lovely comment! It’s means so much.

Commander snow is only nice when you are nice. Which is so hard because he is so terrible!

I am really trying to link his sad backstory as to why he acts certain ways towards the reader.

Also!

I did not even pick up that both Coroys used the same brush! Good eye! I suppose it is just super hot!

I think he is more cocky than delusional in that scene.

“I never understand why they run” because I always catch them.

—

Coriolanus snow also haunts my head! He’s got free realestate there.

—

I AM SO GLAD YOU LIKED SNOW LANDS ON TOP.

Thank you again! Please let me know what you are thinking about each chapter, I love your thoughts ❤️❤️

[f0point5]

Trusova was robbed, end of story.

But yess I love figure skating, the Russians provide so much drama which is entertaining.

Did you watch the world championship this year, and what are your thoughts on ilia malinin? I’ve seen that a lot if people love him but there’s a lot of hate for him as well.

She was robbed of that team medal for sure because they put Kamila in when they knew she wasn’t going to pass the drug test like whyyyyy. As for the routine, who knows if it’s true that they told her not to do the quads 🤷‍♀️ that could be a bit on her. At the same time, if I were a judge she would won regardless.

The Russians provide soooo much drama like they’re all such CHARACTERS and I love that.

I watched highlights of Worlds not the whole thing. No Russians means it’s just not giving what it’s supposed to give for me. But they could never make me hate the quaxel king. I do get why people don’t like him though he’s kind of an ick like if he weren’t god tier I wouldn’t be rooting for him because his aura is just dusty to me 😂 I’m actually not a male skater gal so maybe that’s why. But I really liked Nathan Chen’s vibe. I think it’s because for me I just like men who are chill. Showboats give me the ick but male figure skaters got that Blades of Glory energy a lot of the time and I just can’t

[zenyteehee]

Today, I am…one month sober

Some days I still kinda hate it. I didn’t become so taken with weed for no reason. For a while, it really did help me with mental health stuff (anxiety, nightmares, etc) not particularly well controlled by my actual meds, with actually managing to get some rest and destress while working 60-70 hours a week at a high stress job, and with managing chronic pain and the physical and mental stress of living with a chronic, potentially life threatening illness. It’s just that after a while, I couldn’t sleep without it and my solution to everything was 🍃

Some days though, I really have started to feel like I’m coming back to life. Lupus still gives me mad brain fog sometimes but I don’t always feel like that now. I feel more present. I do hobbies now, even if I still don’t have a ton of time to do them. I’ve been working on myself, going back to yoga and martial arts. It’s still really, really hard because my career will continue to be heavy in hours and heavy in stress for the next 5 years minimum, I still have lupus with some increasingly severe features, and I still have mental health issues, none of the above have great fixes. But I’m going to have those forever and letting a substance control me is no more of an answer than letting anorexia control me was, so at the very least, regardless of the drug test I have to pass (which started all this), I’m sober now until I stop hating it.

Anyway, look at the flower I’ve been drawing a petal for every day I’m sober (plz ignore my early attempts at calligraphy that make it look like I have randomly added a bunch of “s”s 😂):

[chronicallydragons]

As a fellow biology nerd I can pretty much see why you decided to become a virologist, but I'm curious about how you first came across the fascination from such puzzling beings. Feel free to ramble if ya wish! :) I would love some viruses and viral diseases facts

It was kind of an accident! I was working at a vet clinic with doctors that were great with their patients but not so great with their staff and I kinda just started applying everywhere. After I applied to the lab, they invited me in for an interview and actually asked me to apply for a different position instead…which I didn’t get at that point, but they did call me back the second another position opened up a few weeks later. I didn’t really know anything about viruses (and regularly googled “what even IS a virus” at work…😅) and felt a LOT of imposter’s syndrome when I first started. But I enjoyed the lab work and the more I researched and worked the more I came to love virology and infectious diseases. I started out working mostly with influenza, then I would run standard assays for the NIH to test antivirals against several viruses at different times like Zika, Usutu, Dengue, Japanese encephalitis virus, Enterovirus D68 and 71, RSV, etc. and I did some work with bovine (cow) viruses. And then when COVID hit, we all just pivoted. I don’t think drug sponsors sent in antivirals to test for months at the beginning 😂 I kinda started to miss Zika 😂 but working with human coronaviruses was pretty cool! We started doing testing against 5 human coronaviruses around that time (there are like 7 known ones with more suspected, but 2 don’t grow in cell culture—at least not very easily. So we just did the 5–two “common cold” coronaviruses and then MERS, SARS, and SARS-CoV-2)

I definitely miss lab work. I’ve enjoyed trying to stay on top of the research and I’m excited to eventually move onto more public health centered work (when I can find a job), but I’m constantly trying to find epidemiology teams that work primarily with viruses because I think virology will always have a big chunk of my heart—and it was honestly just kind of an accident that I ended up in the lab at all! I had another professor trying to recruit me to be his lab manager for an animal reproduction lab trying to learn how to prevent early embryonic death and I would have loved that but he took MONTHS to finally get the job figured out to try to offer it to me and by that point I decided I liked viruses so I stayed where I was. When covid hit, I realized I was already doing the work for a thesis anyway, so that’s when I applied for my master’s program. I went master’s of public health instead of master’s of science because the MPH program was mostly online and I knew there was a chance we’d have to move before I finished, but I think it was definitely the right choice!!

[keepitlightsblog]

Let me just say, psychosis is a *rush*. 💨👀

You know how people with bipolar can feel really elated highs and super dramatic lows? Well what’s beyond those really elated highs is the land of psychosis. It’s like the Shadowlands in Lion King. ‘You must never go there, Simba’ 😂

Those crazy homeless people you see talking to themselves or acting erratically when passing by? Yes, they could be drug addicts. But just also consider the fact that they have an untreated mental illness and no one is taking care of them. Because that was totally me. 😔

Let me go back a few steps. Whatever physically damaging experience is actually going on in my brain during psychosis, I actually have times of pure bliss. Like the highest of highs and I’m off in la-la land completely detached from reality. I was that person walking down the side of the road randomly dancing. 💃

I was also that person that got tackled by police officers and had to be hog tied, carried to a police car, and taken to a mental hospital because I was so belligerent 🤐. And I was one of the lucky ones. It was only at my girlfriend’s request that they took me to a mental hospital. Had she not been there, they would’ve taken me to jail for a few days to ‘detox’. 😒

Yeah, there is no detoxing from schizophrenia. There is no ‘it’ll get better in a few days’. No. It only gets worse the longer it goes untreated.

So, much to everyone’s dismay, the drug tests at the hospital came back negative, and that’s when they told me I have schizophrenia.

As for the song, the stars don’t look the same as they did.

This eludes to how my reality has shifted since having 3 or so major psychotic experiences. Each lasting for about 6 weeks or so, with trauma from each still lingering to this day.

You know I’m more scared of the dark now as an adult than I ever was as a kid? It’s because I’ve seen and believed demonic things thanks to my disease. I’ve also believed heavenly things as well, so it’s not all bad, but for some people it is. 🥺

[wordsmith30]

Black Lightning 1×07: “Equinox: The Book of Fate”

Down in the bunker, Anissa is already getting into it with her mom as Lynn checks her injuries. Lynn doesn’t want her being a superhero, saying that it is a life of pain and sacrifice, and that she knows what Anissa is going through.

“Do you have powers?” Anissa shoots back.

Um, excuse you. Don’t be rude. 

This is not your mother’s first rodeo. She’s seen firsthand what this life looks like and she’s concerned for you.

Gambi is back on the lying train again, trying to paint Lynn’s attack as an isolated incident when he knows full well it was Lady Eve’s people. This time, however, Jefferson’s not buying it.

“Why didn’t you tell me Tobias was back in Freeland?”

Oooh, you’re in trouble!

Gambi says that he’s trying to protect him from himself by going after Tobias. He doesn’t want Jefferson doing something he’ll regret. That might’ve carried a bit more weight had he not proceeded to take out Joey Toledo himself. I don’t know what kind of business operation Gambi has going with Lady Eve, but they clearly have a lot of history. He speaks as if they’re partners, saying that Tobias is going to ruin the “ecosystem we’ve worked so hard to build.”

Jefferson says he doesn’t trust him anymore and I can’t really blame him. (But then he still entrusts him with Lynn’s safety anyway.)

Henderson asks Lynn if her research may be the target of third-party organizations and she’s like, “No, I just look at the effects of addiction on the brain. Where’s the money in that?”

Um … Green Light? 

If you’re trying to market a really powerful drug and get kids hooked on substances like Green Light, then your research would be really interesting.

I’ve also got to give sketch artists credit in general. Trying to recreate the likeness of a person you’ve never seen before is quite a skill, especially because it’s based on hearsay and you have to keep modifying it until it’s right. And even then, witnesses’ memories are faulty. The picture may be only as accurate as you can remember. What if it’s not right?

Lady Eve got her hands on that picture real fast! And Gambi is listed as “The Tailor” in her phone. She tells him that “[t]he cleaners are on their way.”

After easily defeating a guy hopped up on Green Light in the ring, Tobias becomes suddenly bothered about the drug when he realizes that “dead customers don’t pay.” We’re so touched by your concern. 

He says that Green Light is too volatile a substance and requests a meeting with Lady Eve.

I still cannot believe that neither Lynn nor Jefferson even considered the possibility of the girls inheriting his powers. This should’ve been on your radar from time! Like, it wasn’t even a passing thought? I mean, we still don’t know how Jefferson got his powers because this isn’t exactly a superhero origin story, but maybe since the girls got this far without any signs, they thought they were in the clear? That Jefferson was just a one-off genetic mutation and that it couldn’t happen again?

How do you plan to keep this child off the streets now? She was getting arrested long before she had powers! 😆😂

They don’t want to rule out Jen either. They say that both Jen and Anissa will have to be tested.

“Is this the electrician?”

Henderson’s got jokes. At least he seems better about working with Black Lightning now. He asks if there’s anyone else in Freeland like Black Lightning with special abilities and mentions the destruction of the Confederate statue.

And now Jefferson knows that it was Anissa. 

She really shouldn’t have done that with so many witnesses around. Now she’s going to be on everybody’s radar!

At least Jefferson’s warned him that Tobias is back.

Aww, Anissa’s all gung-ho about being a superhero. She’s like, “We can do this and this, and this and that, and you can train me!” And Dad’s like, “Hold up!”

“No, Dad. You’re not ready.”

Darn straight. She’s already been using these powers. Ultimately, it’s better to help her control them than try and put them away.

On her way out, Jefferson asks her where she got the box with Alvin’s research. She confesses that she was just trying to figure out what had happened to her, but he reminds her that that research got Alvin killed. After what happened with Lynn at the lab, he says she has to warn David Poe.

So, it looks like Lady Eve is a mortician.

Gambi tells Lady Eve that Tobias is out of control and she agrees to remind him of his place by sending Gambi to take out Toledo.

Jennifer is already becoming suspicious of the tension between Anissa and Jefferson. Yeah, you won’t be able to keep Jen out of the loop forever!

Anissa goes to visit Lynn back at the bunker to apologize and she learns the real reason for her parents’ split: Jefferson’s continued activities as Black Lightning. Lynn says that in the superhero life, everyone gets a happy ending except you.

Anissa, however, says she’s willing to sacrifice her happiness if it means freeing Freeland from the 100 and the crooked police.

Watching Gambi kill off Toledo and his men was not a fun time. You’re supposed to be better than this!

Also, the question I always have in scenes like these: why is it that when the bad guys know they’re being attacked, they never have any kind of getaway plan? They just wait for their assailant to find them!

Seeing Anissa come home in tears after she learned that David Poe was killed was so sad. She’s starting to see the consequences of living the superhero life: that anyone close to or associated with you is a target, and that you can’t always save them.

Lynn finally tells Jefferson that he should train Anissa because they both know she’s not going to stop.

Henderson tells Black Lightning about Toledo’s murder and says it looks like was about to open a jazz club the next day. Chances are that’s where they’ll find Tobias.

Again, we’re shown the flashback of Alvin Pierce being murdered while Jefferson hides under the bed and I don’t know about everyone else, but something about Kid Jefferson’s acting just feels off. Obviously, I know that he’s supposed to stay quiet so that these men don’t find him, but he whispers “Dad” like he’s trying to wake him up in the middle of the night. I’d anticipated a lot more fear: crying, shaking, maybe covering his eyes because it’s too horrible to watch. But instead, there’s just this sense of distance, as if he’s watching this all happen from far away. Like his father’s murder is on a TV screen.

Lynn has asked Gambi to design Anissa a suit and Anissa is just in awe. Lynn tells her that she does get it and knows that Anissa can’t sit idly by while other people are being pushed around.

Jefferson gets the jump on Tobias for the first time and the ensuing fight goes south pretty fast. Tori is shot in the back and Tobias is dragged out by his men, still calling her name. I actually felt so bad for them. She was clearly Tobias’ closest family and his men just left her for dead.

But their plan to get Lady Eve was so devious! Knowing that they couldn’t make a direct move on her without permission, Tori and Tobias sent a bunch of hit men after her with electric guns, frying her and her minions. Because of the burns, the police think it was Black Lightning. Well, there goes his alliance with Henderson!

And because of what happened to Tori, now Jefferson’s going to have Tobias and the police on his back. They’ll be after him with a vengeance!

Jefferson agrees to train Anissa, but says that they’re both going to make mistakes. His eagerness to get Tobias ended with Tori’s death and he wants Anissa to be better than him.

Nothing could have prepared me for that ending. When Lala came back, I screamed. Did Lady Eve bring him back? He just sat up in that motel room like nothing happened!

And Lawanda appearing and becoming a tattoo on his chest … that’s really dark. I don’t know how I feel about that. On the one hand, it’s a reminder of the people that he’s killed. If every person you kill shows up as a mark on your body, then you’re haunted by them forever. You’re not allowed to forget them or what you did to them. But at the same time, it almost looks like a trophy, like what Killmonger did in Black Panther. It’s a kill log on your body.

So now Lady Eve is dead, Jefferson’s got a new hit on him, Henderson’s no longer willing to work with him, and Anissa’s trying to become her dad’s new protégée, all while being a target of the police as herself. They’re going to have to figure out how to clear Jefferson’s name! And if Lala’s back, they’re in some deep doo-doo.

[emptylittlebug]

01/19/23

226.6

Lbs lost in January: 10.8

In: 471

Water, vitamins (10), Adderall, Wellbutrin, Magnesium, water, pizza slice (190), sloppy joe mix (176), 3 crackers (95), water, Lamictal

Out: 2164

Steps: 2425

Starting to wonder if my scale is broke 😅 it has new batteries but how am I losing so fast?

36 hours (7am) into 48hr fast. I think I’ll have carrots, broccoli, or chicken noodle soup around 6:30 tonight then start another 48hrs. Losing this quickly is def the motivation I needed.

How am I going to explain the weight loss to my psychiatrist though?… I have a weight check and drug test in March (standard for adderall prescriptions). August 25 at my first/last one I was 261. That was the day before I start taking the adderall. I’ve lost 34.4lbs in 5 months and still have 1.5 months to go. That’s almost 7lbs a month… I guess that isn’t too excessive. I only worry because I actually need the Adderall and don’t want him to lower it or change it. I’m finally doing well in work and better at home with it.

… The doctor that referred me to him did tell me to lose weight (morbidly obese at 261lbs, 5ft4.5in) isn’t 2lbs a week safe anyway they say? 8lbs a month. I guess I can be at 48/52lbs lost and not be a huge red flag? 213-209lbs.

“The last dr told me to lose weight and my labs didn’t look too good so I’ve been eating better, exercising a few times a week, getting 10k steps a day (trying to), mostly cut out sodas, and drinking water!” 😅 which is 100% true, but I wonder if he will buy that… I just don’t wanna lose my meds… and with past anorexia in my chart idk if he can see that or not (I didn’t tell him that so idk if he can see it in his computer or something)

If you take adderall or other adhd stimulants, what do you say to your dr when you have lost a lot? Will I get by with that reasoning or am I kidding myself?

I know that excuse won’t work every time… how the heck am I going to get down to 103 while the psychiatrist is tracking me every 6 months… maybe he doesn’t care as much as I’m worried he will be?

I’m 123lbs away from that GW 😂 fuck

It’s too early to be thinking about all this lmao!

[allofuswantgwinam]

i think i woke up and chose violence today oops

[bellarkeandclintashaandsuch]

Not Me Episode 6 Thoughts:

- Oh, boy! Did the gang not kidnap White? Is this a legit kidnapping?

- Yeah, “Black.” Get closer to Sean slowly :)

- Awww! He’s crying!

- How’d these people even get in here? Where’s Gumpa?

- Mmm, Sean doesn’t like you threatening his future boyfriend

- How could they know they’re planning to break into the manufacturer? Is this a Gumpa test again?

- Sean called “Black” his friend 🥰

- Ugh, White! Don’t give up your friends!

- It was a test! 😂 Wow, that was a good one. No wonder Sean called Black his friend. It was all a ruse.

- Sean is like, ugh, Black! You’re the worst. Why do I like you now?

- Gram is gonna be so sad that he just ratted him out :( Yok and Gumpa, sure. But you could’ve left Gram out!

- Ahhhhh I can’t watch! The secondhand embarrassment!

- Yok is so mad!

- I mean, testing him by deceiving him, Gumpa. So technically…

- He’s crying!!!! Don’t yell at him! 😭😭😭

- Your life is worth more than you think 😭🥺 Sean doesn’t know how to handle that!

- Aw, Gumpa still bringing “Black” water :)

- Why did he drink it like that?

- How did White manage to turn this around? He’s getting better at this.

- Yok’s like, dang it, he’s right, but I hate it. We need to make sure our principals are out front and center

- What kind of substance are you adding, Sean??

- If I could trade my life for his death, I would. Sean! I’m worried about you! :*(

- Uh-oh. He definitely sprawled out on White’s spot on purpose.

- Are you drunk, Sean?

- Almost like he’s not the same person, Sean.

- “I’m seeing the bigger picture now.” “I can’t go back to who I was.” “I was berserk back then.” Don’t say things like this, White! Black has to come back eventually! You’re messing up all his relationships!

- He just wants to make sure they all live :\

- Our society has become accustomed to it :( They’re really coming for my heart already in this episode

- White is making good points. I’ll give him that.

- Tell us why this mission is so important to you!

- I love the dramatic music every time Sean touches White.

- Hahaha drunk Sean is touchy-feely

- Aw, he tucked him in bed :)

- Finally, the backstory! So his dad was the truck driver that got killed for running drugs for Tawi, and Tawi got away with no repercussions

- Poor White. He’s like not again.

- You hugged me very tight. :)

- Yok/Gram team up :)

- White! He’s like, are you sure it’s safe? Here, Gram, you try it! Poor Gram :( he’s going, I thought I was special to you 🥺 ask Sean!

- Now Yok wants Gram to try it? They’re so mean. Oh, Gram researched it, but just doesn’t want to eat it 🤣 Maybe they’re remembering when he said Tawi’s house was empty

- White’s making a dumb face, and Gram’s like, he’s so cute :) Look at the affection on his face :) One smitten man.

- I wonder if Yok has told anyone he’s stalking a cop.

- Oh, they have ear pieces now? Fancy

- He doesn’t want to check alone :(

- Oh, smart. Getting a lab coat.

- I see a smiley face; I think Pran.

- Wow, White. I’m impressed. Using your brain.

- And then Sean comes up and chokes him out haha

- Can’t you just give me a little encouragement hahahaha

- This is very expressive acting for only being able to see their eyes.

- Gram’s like, what if we can’t provide a safe escape for Black? 🥺 And Yok’s just like, stop stressing me out. I’m trying to have a good time here!

- They should use code names or something

- This would be a great time to tell Gram you’re in love with a cop.

- Yok, stop looking at Gram like that. You’re confusing me! What’s happening?

- Gram’s confused. He’s like, this is not the gang member I want.

- I don’t know, Yok. It might be working for me.

- 😂 Okay, I love the Yok/Gram friendship now. More of this, please!

- You’re a sucker for love 😂 I love that this implies that Yok is prone to do stuff like become completely enamored with whomever he’s in love with at any given time (but obviously Dan is different. We know this. Yok knows this.)

- Yok doesn’t think Gram is a sucker for love? Oh, sweetie. You have no idea.

- You can’t like/be dating anyone because you’re always with Black 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Listen to your words, Yok!

- GRAM FELL IN LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT WITH BLACK 😭😭😭🥰🥰🥰🥺🥺🥺

- Liar. He’s like, you don’t know him… like I do

- Every time I see the poster photo of SeanWhite, I’m like where is the sad, scared Sean with this hair? I want to see him!

- Gram flung that thing away 😂

- Yok might be having too much fun

- Stop calling his name with the guards around! They’re all dumb about this

- I really thought they were going to get caught for a minute.

- Hey, this guy! Is he Mr. Techit? Where is he from? He was in Nitiman and something else?

- Uh-oh. White’s going rogue. Hmm, taking photos of the tanks with the canisters instead…

- Oh, no. If this music is any indication, Sean is very mad.

- Don’t forget to delete the CCTV footage, Sean!

- Teamwork 🥰

- Aww, look at Gram so concerned about Black :) Saying his name and rushing over immediately to grab him 🥰

- Hey! Don’t push Gram over because you’re mad at “Black”!

- Ouch! Don’t hit him with your helmet!

- Sean says don’t interfere, and Gram and Yok just let him choke Black? Mmk

- I wish these episodes were longer :( every time they end, I’m like that’s it? You’re leaving us here??

- No Dan this episode :( I hope he joins the gang soon, so we can see more of him.

- Gram and White look so happy at the rally in next episode

- This was a good episode. Good White development. Good Sean backstory. Throwing more angst, confusing feelings, anger, cuddles, and tears on the SeanWhite fire. And of course, giving us the Gram/Yok heart-to-heart I didn’t know I needed. :)

[yuichi-ro]

little menace kisaki girl my beloved <3 torturing kisaki like he deserves. we would sooo team up against him.

not me thinking about me being away on some work trip and that coinciding with daughter’s first period happening so now kisaki is having to deal with it… and sends the haitani’s and sanzu to go pick up some cramp medication, pads and comfort food XD the most embarrassing mission the three hardened criminals and daughter is equally entertained because she just loves torturing the haitanis but also a bit flustered because sanzu is sanzu and sanzu is just… so tired. kisaki getting a daughter choosing him of all people to be her childhood obsession was the worst thing that has ever happened in his life. fuck mikey for agreeing to any of this.

but kisaki would be the most overprotective dad when it comes to people wanting to date his daughter. men, women, doesn’t matter they all have to face down the wrath that is tetta kisaki thinking no one will ever be enough for his daughter. i would probably have to whack him over the head with a folded newspaper so he will finally call off the hitman he sent on the head of his daughter’s dad.

also definitely insists on silly family shirts when going on. “the boss” “the real boss” “boss in training” for a disney land trip. big on family albums and other memory tokens because he never got any of his childhood, not that stuff like that happened. and even when daughter is an annoying teen, this is still one of the things she recognises- these things are important to her father and therefore she will participate in them and enjoy them, because she is loyal to those she loves, like her dad.

side note; two of my roommates have covid, the third one isn’t here right now. i wanted to get a covid test done today and the dude who did it fucking- flirted with me. really don’t think it was badly intentioned but dude did not pick up on me not reciprocating at all. and worst of all- test ended up being invalid bc fucker did not do his job correctly. idk if it was intentional to get me there again or nah but god i wanted to snap that man’s throat. don’t flirt with me during situations like that jesus fuck dude don’t flirt with anyone during situations like that.

-🌌momo

I would feel bad for him but at the same time....karma is a bitch :D asdfghjkl keep it up this evil cutie is gonna need a name asdfghjkl

SENDING THE BROTHERS AND SANZU TO GO GET PERIOD SUPPLIES BC KISAKI IS COMFORTING HIS SOBBING HULK RAGING HORMONAL DAUGHTER PLS I'M- Ran and Rindou deserve to go pick up menstrual products. They really fucking do. Ran screams "I'm not checking out with these" and Rindou takes them from his brother, looks the checker right in the eyes and straight face says some bullshit like "Heavy flow this month what can I say." fucking rindou

But the Sanzu thing- Oh my god let us take a moment to unpack that. Kisaki in the throws of comforting his daughter (while your not answering your phone bc busy sexy milf work hours) and he tries to comfort her saying he sent Ran, Rindou and Sanzu to go get more appropriate sized starter items for a young woman. And she just- She sees red. Blood curdling screaming at her father about how could he. How could he betray her like this. How could he do this and ruin her life. Kisaki just "????" until finally the raging kiddo sobs into her pillow that Sanzu will never want her now and think she's gross. Kisaki 404s about not knowing this god awful idea that his now pubescent daughter's had to marry his crazy drug addled coworker like she's still five 😂 Kisaki had no idea. Sanzu had no idea. No one had any idea but your daughter his this plan in her head about how she was gonna marry the pretty pink prince she played games with and now Kisaki is in the dog house and stuck with a first time period haver 😂

Kisaki's daughter accusing her father of being homophobic. Kisaki dead serious that boy, girl, neither, something in between or none of the above, over his dead body is anyone gonna date his little princess. At least now your daughter knows her father isn't homophobic but she's pleading with you to keep her father out of her dating life every time she has a crush 😂 Also big scary boss man Kisaki getting hit over the head with an empty paper towel roll on a Tuesday bc he saw his kid laugh a little too hard at a friends joke has his finger hovering over the speed dial for Sanzu's number.

Not being close to Kisaki's parents in the slightest. Frankly they might not have any idea they have a granddaughter or a daughter in law with how little interest they have in Kisaki. Yeah they tell people they have a successful son but aside from that they take "hands off" parenting to a whole new level. Seriously attributing to Kisaki's tendency to be a helicopter parent in good and bad ways. The wedge it might create with his early teens/late teens daughter until he has a heart to heart with her about the grandparents she never sees. Knows she has grandparents on dad's side. But never gets anything but presents like once every three years from them. And they don't spell her name right and never know her age so she's fifteen getting baby dolls. So it's a little vulnerable when Kisaki apologizes for being over zealous about somethings in regards to the family or his kid. But explains the situation of parents he had growing up and how he could have died and they probably wouldn't have noticed (eh see what I did there) It's hard to say it out loud but when he does he gets the biggest hug from his kid. And it's not like he needs to hear it. But hearing her tell him he's the best dad anyone could have really makes him want to cry.

Sobbing over here please someone give this man just a family who pays attention to him

also what in the general fuck? you know what I'm not even shocked bc like, get this shit at the gym all the time. Pls while I'm getting a swab shoved up my nose to determine if I have a virus that could either be real mild, or land me in the hospital, flirt with me. Bc that's obviously any fucking human being wants? Right? Jesus fucking christ it's like an unsocialized dog. Shit like that is worse than Shion behavior ffs. Next time shit like that happens tell them your wife wouldn't appreciate you being hit on in any situation yet alone during a medical procedure. It's me. I'll be your wife. And I'll beat them all up this is what I go to the gym for.