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blessedshortcake · 2 months

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I feel like this has the potential to either be really stupid or very spot on and i need to write it down or I explode.

A theory on the AAHW and their purpose that is a little more than just "Hank kill people so we have to kill them". Long post so more under the cut. Spoilers obviosly.

For disclaimer I am referencing only the games, the series and the wikis so if there was anything else said on streams or something that is canon and I missed it then my bad. Also this is mostly speculation. Also it is 1am I am tired and non native English speaker so if I mispell stuff no I did not. Nuh us.

Also if this is already common knowledge then. Oops. I am a little slow. Lol. Tell me I'd like to know that I am late to the party.

There will be segments I will title since this is long so people can skip parts if they wanna.

Okay starting up we already know that the Employers have a connection to the makers of Nevada as they are not only 5 dimensional beings that like guide people and do other stuff, are compared to angels by Krinkels but also help The Machine apparently.

NEXUS ARENA MODE

For people unfamiliar with Madcom Project Nexus arena game lore, The Machine and The Maker are the two creators of Nevada. They are referred to as "brothers" but like is that relevant rn? No. The Maker and Doc team up and get the arena player in a loop to keep defeating the Stweard of The Machine and be the "direct connection to all reality" Doc needs which is important for many reasons.

The player is a gen 01 Nevadaian (how tf do i spell that) they are "quicker to ascend to godhood". There are other confirmed examples of gen1 like Phobos and i cant remember the rest but yeah gen1 is needed for this.

I genuinely belive that the player is needed for whatever revival Doc can do to keep making Hank come back. And I have proof! When we see in 9.5 the text overlay, we see the description "Machine Witness" when talking about Hank which sure could be Hank as he is the person monitored at that moment but how could they Really be it? It is probably Auditor as the thing then commands Hank to be retained immediately and Auditor is most definitely a machine witness as they directly work with it.

But then we see it is 2b helping them get out of the other place. He is sending tips and messages so it wouldn't be far fetched to say he uses the same exact system. Auditor doesn't need a witness to revive people and track them in the other place since they can already do a bunch of stuff and also they Are the witness. Also, why else would Doc need a connection to "all reality" if not to revive people? Possibly to reality restoration but eh. I am banking on the former.

(Speculation about the player, side ramble)

In my opinion, the way the players situation worked was Maker contacting Doc and giving him a hint about what all he needs to do. Maker cannot directly change stuff, they are hiding from the Machine. Since the player is confirmed to be the first grunt from Mashmallow Madness, i think they are ALSO the grunt encased in the marshmallow, a relic that is in a mission where you MUST protect it or you lose. I think its also in the museum in story mode but i could be wrong. They are listed as two different entities on the wiki but like they are also stuck in a time loop and can pick a preset of skills each run so I dont think its that ridicolous to assume this.

So Doc got the hint about a gen1 grunt existing somewhere and got their DNA and did some science bs to link it to a body, hence the no past thing and their ability to gain whatever skills and personality and abilities they want (aka the imprints)

BACK TO THE AAHW

Since we know AAHWs main goal is to, well, kill Hank, do we really get more of an explanation on why? Yeah ok they kill people. So does everyone else let us move past that for a moment.

The AAHW is ran by Auditor and he seems Very adamant about getting that one guy killed for seemingly no particular reason. I mean, Employers are higher beings so one guy just going around killing people should not be so concerning unless they are committing like mass murder to the point the population is running out which does not seem to be the case.

I think Hank is potentially the key to restoring normality to Nevada whatever the hell that actually consists of. Killing the Macine? Killing the Employers? Pushing a button? Shrug man.

The Higher Powers favor them canonically and the Higher Powers are not the Machine or Maker but something equal if not slightly lower than them (perhaps some meta of the audience i dont remember if we got a confirmation or not), Doc keeps bringing him back and Doc has a connection to Maker, who is trying to fix all of this mess without being absorbed by the Machine so to speak. Auditor being threatened by him makes a lot more sense when you think about it.

It also makes sense because it is their Literal Job as an Employer to keep things going as they are. "As they are" being helping the Machine destroy everything with madness so normality restoration would mean they failed.

I feel like Auditor is the one Employer who really doesnt want that happen since no other ones show up (save for Stygian in arena mode but that is a special case and even then its for like 5 frames lol) and it is said that they think Auditor's involvment with all this is kinda dumb... Like if Auditors one job is genuinely to keep madness in Nevada and let everyone die then RIP you got the most caught in this family drama between the creators sorry.

(SIDE NOTE, THE AGENTS)

Oh my dearest 1337 agents you keep me up at night.

Someone tell me how on EARTH are dissenters a thing if AAHW agents specifically are supposed to not only lack indaviduality (their s3lf) but also be unable to adapt and learn from their enviroment?

The only known AAHW members who we know the bg of are Jebus and Tricky so it makes sense why those two are like that but if Doc is supposedly past AAHW does that mean he is also a clone or does that mean he was hired by Auditor and ended up quitting like Jeb did? Because if it is the latter, calling him a dissenter is a Little petty Auditor but like fair enough.

I know a widely known hc is that Deimos is also a clone since he is heavily implied to be a dissenter by his wanted poster (or canon tbh) so does that make HIM a clone?

(My thoughts on AAHW units, Doc and Deimos, a side ramble)

I think whatever Doc has going on he is not a clone but has some other history. Possibly old Nexus connections like Jeb and Tricky but most likely not an old agent... But Deimos is. Maybe also Sanford idk his lore is a lot more loose in my eyes. We need more Sanford content.

I think agents have no s3lf (which is yea canon) but they can sorta develop preferences and learn things to an extent on their own. They can have food preferences, they know birthdays, they get bored and play games. They are still people after all. I think Auditor just keeps such a tight handle on them all (read: kills them for playing cards) that they are forced to act more like mindless units at all times. The SQ is already out to get their ass, getting killed by your own boss would suck a lot more probably. This is also further reinforced by the posters literally everywhere, and I personally think the ones in the other place are like that Because of how aimless and fucking boring their job is there. Edit: also since Stygian has seemingly no intention in helping them at all and Auditor likely never comes around hence the "we are abandoned" text. They observe and learn. They ARE abandoned.

But that also leads us to the next segment - observation. Just because they arent smart enough to be tactical in combat, they can clearly learn and evolve. Agents become soldats or engineers after all depending on the skills taught to them. I think dissenters become a thing when an agent has too much time to actually observe. Which is part of the reason why Auditor runs such a tight ship. Too much personality makes them realise this is fucked up, too little lets them die too fast. I think the more they progress the less humanity they actually have tho. Soldats and engineers are above them, they take commands without question (see the time a soldat fired at their own teammates when told to by whom they assumed to be their boss).

Soldats and Engineers are also confirmation that agents CAN learn if actually given the time and direction to do so like i said. I feel like clones if left without direction kinda suck but if given one they have the potential to absolutely destroy in the field. These units can use their enviroment for survival, they dodge and soldats have better combat abilities. Engineers are apparently very smart in mechanical stuff hence also their name but i cant remember if we ever see that in practicality.

(Tho I do feel like engineers only have the better survival ability because engineers constantly dying like agents would be too hard to replace over and over since they are taught the stuff they know. It would be resources lost.)

Doc being such a pain in the ass (hacking their systems, reviving people, seemingly being the leader of the SQ or at least a high ranking member considering the "man in the chair" descriptor he has, The Whole Maker Connection) would make more sense like that too. Deimos being a clone who either advanced from an agent or stayed one would make sense imo. He is a good fighter and his red blood pretty much excludes the other option but alas.

Imo it would also make their dynamic with Doc more interesting as he would still need some guidance. He probably had some training to get to the point he is but needing directions will stay a constant, and what is Doc if not the commander of SQ? Sanford also fits into that whole descriptor too imo with how he acted in the other place but again I am way less confident in talking about him than anyone else.

Also side note:

Before anyone says it, on the wiki Doc and Deimos never have a confirmation to what gen they are. As far as I remember not even Hank has one so the possibilities are pretty up in the air as of now. (But again Hank as Gen 1 would make a lot of sense considering... gestures. But who knows. This post is not about that.)

TLDR

Auditor wants Hank dead so bad because not only do the Higher Powers favor them, but because they have a direct connection to Maker who is against the Machine's effect of madness and is likely the key to actually restoring normality to Nevada, and Auditors literal job is to keep Nevada in madness as it is.

Thanks for reading if you got this far. PLEASE let me know your thoughts I spent like an hour writing this and I don't know if I sound insane or if this makes any sense. Either way I am. Autistic as hell about this. So yeah

If i forgot something let me know. I will probably edit it if I remember something too lol

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secret-engima · 2 years

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Shinobi Economics 2: Warring States Boogaloo

RIGHT IT’S TIME FOR NINJA ECONOMICS 2: WARRING STATES BOOGALOO.

Link to my previous 3k tumblr rant on canon era shinobi economics here , and a casual reminder that I do not study or research economics a whole bunch outside of a casual interest for fantasy worldbuilding. Most of this is just- trying to logic out some semblance of sense inside the Naruto setting.

But to summarize the stuff I think is relevant to jumping into this one, in the previous ramble I established that:

1. Peacetime is actually Really Profitable for shinobi villages of the Nidaime to Boruto eras, because that’s when the lower classes (Merchant and Worker) can afford to pay shinobi for jobs that are ultimately the most money for the least amount of risk.

2. Shinobi villages set the prices of missions, not the clients (as seen in the premise of the Wave arc, where the bridge builder lied about the risk so that he only had to pay for a C rank instead of a B or A rank mission), and that whatever prices they have set for missions, it allows even a single parent shinobi with an active child to live comfortably in a city. Not wealthy necessarily, but clearly able to feed, clothe, shelter, and spend time with their child on top of work and training.

3. In all of canon, all the movies, even in Boruto (up to the point I’ve watched so far anyway), there is not a single shinobi that suggests going back to the warring state era. Not even the missing-nin. Not even Madara, who was more than happy to plot the downfall of every shinobi village and the world at large, tried to get them to go back to warring states (admittedly he was more interested in brainwashing everyone with an overgrown weed, but hey).

In that previous rant, I also made an offhand mention that Hashirama and Madara ending the war between their clans and making peace was them essentially inventing a ninja union, and I kind of want to come back to that in this rant by talking about what the Warring State Era ninja economy was probably like, considering what little we know in canon (ie the anime flashbacks which YES COUNT AS CANON since it makes exactly as much nonsense as the rest of Kishi’s worldbuilding),

Okay so. What do we know about the Warring State Era?

1. We know it was a very bloody time of frequent clan on clan fighting.

2. Medical chakra techniques/medicine in general were not as advanced (because Tsunade is infamous for her contributions to the world of medicine and she doesn’t exist yet) so fatalities or crippling injuries were definitely more common, and most shinobi wore samurai style armor which tells me:

2a. The armor was likely a response to how much easier it was back then for a shinobi to be crippled or killed through blood loss and infection (especially infection).

2b. It could also be a hold over from the Samurai era, since we honestly never get a straight answer from Kishi on where the heck Samurai fit into his swiss cheese timeline. There is, according to the Naruto wiki, a mention of them having split off from shinobi back when chakra use was still called ninshu but that makes … about as much sense as most of Kishi’s timeline and therefore is suspect at best and garbage at worst.

3. Child soldiers were even more of a thing than they are in the village era. For comparison, Kakashi was considered a prodigy for graduating and becoming a genin at 5, and Itachi was exposed to death at age 4, but that flashback is structured (in the anime at least) in a manner that implies that this was not the norm (thanks Fugaku) and that Itachi should not have been anywhere near the battlefield since he hadn’t even enrolled in Academy yet (canonically enrolled at age 6 and was allowed to take the graduation test a few months later). However in the Warring States Era flashback, Hashirama’s and Tobirama’s brother Kawarama died at age 7, and their father makes comments that imply Kawarama was considered at least enough of an adult to be a shinobi, which means he *probably* didn’t die on his first mission? Their other brother Itama, who we do not have an official age for but is clearly younger than Hashirama and Tobirama (who are drawn to at least appear 12 or younger) also dies young, probably around the same age as Kawarama did. We also see Izuna, during the river confrontation between Madara’s and Hashirama’s families, wielding a sword that is clearly *sized* for a child. Unlike Tobirama in that same scene who’s out here with an adult katana held on his back like a buster sword, Izuna is using a sword that looks like it was forged with a child his age in mind. Which … yeah. Not good. Hashirama and Madara also directly reference a desire for ending the deaths of children on the battlefield when they are discussing their dream of a village. So clearly children becoming shinobi at 6-7 and up was Not Uncommon.

4. Going off the continued existence of a Daimyo and his court in canon era, there were a lot of feudal lords in this era, hiring shinobi to do their dirty work. Not just Daimyo against Daimyo like we see in the village era Shinobi Wars, but likely neighboring lords hiring one shinobi clan or another to heckle, sabotage, and assassinate each other. Especially considering the Naruto world Warring States is clearly supposed to be reminiscent of the Sengoku period of Japan.

So, with those things in mind. How did shinobi economics in this era work and why was Konoha so revolutionary in more than just “hey the Senju and Uchiha aren’t killing each other!” way?

Well first thing is that the shinobi clans would have been at the whims of the various lords and the Daimyo rather than able to establish their own prices for missions, and the vast majority of the clan on clan conflicts would have either started or been fueled by the nobles of the era out of convenience. There are over 16 clans listed on the wiki as being “Konoha” clans, while we can discount a few of them (namely the Lee clan because that’s just Rock Lee, the Uzumaki who were from their own hidden village, and the Hoki family who I think immigrated in from Suna? If I’m reading the wiki right?), and those are just the clans that actually survived to the canon village era. That is a lot of competition for shinobi work in an era where most of those jobs would have come from the rich lords, the Daimyo himself, or a few very wealthy merchants would have been able to afford to both hire a shinobi clan and would have felt it worth the risk of gambling that their competitors wouldn’t also hire a shinobi clan to retaliate. The working class would not have been able to afford a shinobi’s services, and they also definitely wouldn’t want to risk going near a shinobi, because this era was when the clans would’ve had their bloodiest, most inhuman rumors and reputations as remorseless killers.

The staple/most common jobs for shinobi clans of that era would likely have been the violent ones that in the modern era get regulated to ANBU, because again, the Worker class can’t hire for D-ranks and the Merchant class probably either also couldn’t or wouldn’t want to unless desperate or trying to threaten their competition with the reputation of shinobi. These “common” jobs would have been assassinations of adults or children, kidnappings, sabotages, blackmail gathering, spying, and open battlefield conflicts (every Senju-Uchiha conflict we see in the flashback arc, not counting Itama’s death or the river confrontation, is on an open battlefield with both parties in varying levels of armor actually). And of course the other side of those common jobs would be missions from rival lords who are hiring a clan to prevent all the previously listed missions. Which is probably where a good chunk of clan animosities started, opposing contracts that got out of hand and started an all out blood feud.

If a wealthy merchant hired a clan to guard their product/caravan, it was probably because some competitor or a lord who took offense to them for some reason had already hired another shinobi clan to sabotage said caravan and product. If a lord hired a shinobi to kill a rival or his family, that rival had either already hired shinobi bodyguards or was going to in response to this. Which, on top of fueling a lot of clan on clan grudges from being repeatedly on opposite sides of a job, means that shinobi clans couldn’t really demand a specific mission prices. A little bit of haggling over the price, yes, especially in the case of the more powerful/sought after clans, but if a shinobi clan tried to push for “too much”, the prospective client could simply leave and hire another clan. Likely a rival clan that had a blood feud with the first clan just to spite them. Any failed missions or missions that were refused because of the pay or risk involved would also definitely lead to the client spreading word against that clan to any allies, which would lead to less missions and valuable income down the line.

The clans with the most ability to haggle, at least in Land of Fire, would *probably* have been the Four Noble Clans Kishi mentions; The Uchiha, The Aburame, the Akimichi, and the Hyuuga. We never have it explained why they are noble clans or why there is only four, but basic logic says that they were clans who actually held positions in the Daimyo’s court, and having that position would have helped them set at least *some* level of wage standard for shinobi work they took on so long as they were careful not to annoy the Daimyo in the process. But even then, there was only so much they could demand before there was a risk of the client leaving and taking any future business from them and their social circle with them.

The Uchiha-Senju conflict was said to last for generations. According to Kishi it lasted since Indra-Ashura thanks to Black Zetsu specifically, but that is stupid on multiple levels that I won’t fully cover here. It’s much more likely that the descendants of Indra and Ashura clashed a few times and mostly tried to avoid each other until the Warring States Era actually started, by which point those descendants were the Senju and Uchiha (and Uzumaki but they’re canonically a neutral party in that whole deal iirc). The blood feud *probably* started when a noble lord spotted the natural avoidance/borderline animosity of the Uchiha and Senju and hired the Senju to sabotage either an Uchiha job or even to attack the Uchiha themselves if the Uchiha held a position in the Daimyo’s court at that point. And because Uchiha do not react calmly to basically anything, the response was very bloody and over the top, to which the Senju also reacted poorly and… *gestures at the blood feud*. After that, warring lords would have started to intentionally hire the Uchiha and the Senju to pit them against each other because neither clan would haggle too much over the price of a job for fear of it being thrown to their enemy instead, and with both clans so eager to get revenge on the other as the years went on, they were guaranteed to give their all on the battlefield regardless of the mission pay. Which is a technique that would have been used against most of the clans to keep them from getting too powerful or too uppity about the pay for their jobs, but especially the dangerous ones with kekkei genkai.

With the inability to really dictate the prices of their shinobi work, the civilians of shinobi clans likely would have sought to provide some other form of goods and services to help bolster the clan (the civilians not busy trying to keep the clan fed anyway). This has been explored by other fanfic writers in this fandom (shout-out to Umei_no_Mai’s series “the Compass Points North” for being really great at this), but of course depending on the size of the clan and their access to resources that don’t immediately go to either Feeding the Clan or Providing For Shinobi Work, how much money this actually brought in for each clan is entirely variable.

So there’s the Warring States Era cycle of shinobi work. Lord A hires Clan 1 to Do Thing, Lord B hires Clan 1’s most hated rival if possible to Stop Thing, both lords sit back and watch the two clans fight it out for far less than their work is actually worth. Wash, rinse, occasionally repeat with clans that are not hated rivals but are still going to fight it out viciously because if they don’t do a good enough job then they will lose any further work from that client and the client’s associates.

And then the Uchiha-Senju Alliance happened, and did not disintegrate within weeks or months as outsiders would have anticipated.

And this one thing. This one alliance. Completely destroyed the “comfortable” cycle the lords, Daimyo, and wealthy merchants had for their shinobi dealings up to that point. Because now, not only are the two most powerful clans in Land of Fire no longer available to hire against each other, but they also have two clans’ worth of civilian trade and shinobi revenue to keep them from starving the first time they said “no” to a client, and any client they do say yes to has the pick of Senju shinobi, Uchiha shinobi, or a mixed team of the clans’ respective powerhouses.

What do you think the response was the first time a client approached literally any of the other clans and tried to hire them to go up against both Hashirama and Madara, or, just as scarily, Senju Tobirama with a grumpy Uchiha or three following on his heels.

The answer was no. The answer was heck no. The answer was we would literally rather starve rather than choose that flavor of suicide.

Because while other clans have clashed with the Senju and Uchiha before during this era thanks to it being logistically impossible for someone to hire a Senju to fight an Uchiha and visa versa every time, those clashes would still have been comparatively rare but memorable. Similar to the nobles funding these blood feuds, the other shinobi clans of Land of Fire would have grown accustomed to “your chances of dying via Tree Man or Angry Fire Cat Man are statistically low” and being able to kinda sit back and watch the Senju and Uchiha tear each other apart from a safe distance, with only minimal risk of running into far less skilled Uchiha or Senju on a job rather than the guy who gets named the “god of shinobi” and his frenemy rival. They’ve seen the damage either clan can do, and now you want them to go against both? Without the guarantee of Madara and Hashirama (and Tobirama and Izuna pre the latter’s death) being too busy trying to kill each other to bother with you and your squishy clanmates? Hahahaha no.

And now here’s where the Shinobi Villages are a Union thing really starts to kick in. Because the Senju-Uchiha alliance grinding the Warring States cycle to a halt would have been temporary if it had just been between them, if Hashirama’s and Madara’s dream had gone no further than peace between their respective clans. If it had remained just the Senju-Uchiha alliance, even with fear of Hashirama and Madara, the other clans would have eventually been prodded into fighting them, likely even being hired by enough lords who were all unhappy with this shakeup to the routine to temporarily band together in fighting the Senju and Uchiha and overwhelm them (or at least badly cripple the manpower of the Senju-Uchiha).

But Hashirama’s and Madara’s dream wasn’t just about their clans. And suddenly here’s Hashirama “my smile is photosynthesizable” Senju and Madara “consider my wrath as your alternative” Uchiha approaching the other clans and offering to let them join this alliance. To not have the risk of fighting either of these terrifying men or their clans, but rather to pool their resources together to make missions safer. To be able to turn down missions without starving thanks to the combined revenue of multiple clans and their civilian specialties (and the backing of the Uzumaki, who are generally accepted by fanon to have allied with the Senju by this point via Mito’s marriage), and to have other clans be extremely wary of taking any job against their combined might, which will make the jobs they do take a whole lot safer.

Not every clan jumps on board right away of course, canonically the first ones to join the alliance were the Sarutobi and the Shimura (fanon assumes that these two had connections to the Senju and Uchiha clans before this but I … couldn’t find mention of that in the wiki?), which means suddenly any job this alliance takes means that a rival will be up against a roulette wheel of anywhere from “maybe four Senju like normal” to “combined wrath of a Senju-Uchiha-Sarutobi-Shimura team that are working out their collective new-alliance stress on your hide”. The other clans would have chosen to jump aboard the alliance very quickly once it became clear that this wasn’t going away or splintering. Which means more and more clans are saying “no” to jobs that they feel aren’t worth the prices being offered, and less and less clans are willing to go against the alliance for fear of being stomped on. Suddenly the clans who are in the alliance can not only say no but can say “I want to be paid this much for this job” and the lords who once had the option to just take their business to another clan are stuck. They had to either pay up or not have the job done at all.

Tobirama comes in, probably somewhere very early on in the village founding with the start of what will eventually be the universal shinobi mission ranking system, and with that comes the ability for shinobi to have a set minimum wage for each level of risk. There’s an Academy for their children to learn skills from multiple clans and sources now rather than being forced to take to the field just to help pay for food/armor/resources for the clan.

In the real world, this kind of change takes … way longer on average. But in the Naruto world the options from the get-go were “be under Hashirama’s and Madara’s protection” or “be a potential enemy against them and their clans on a mission”, and none of the shinobi clans who survived to that point did so by being stupid. After they saw the Sarutobi and Shimura join without negative consequences (or subjugation as vassals), the clans of Land of Fire would have started joining the alliance faster than the nobles who used their blood feuds as a handy leash could keep up with or compensate for. Canon says something along the lines of the village negotiating with the Daimyo for permission to be there but realistically by the time the Daimyo realized this was not just a passing treaty, that the Ninja Union was not going away, it was already far too late to stop it. Trying to starve the alliance into compliance by cutting off their trades would have only meant that every shinobi clan now on board with Konoha’s existence (read; the majority of them) would overthrow the Daimyo and install a more cooperative leader in his place. Heck, for all we know that’s what happened, it’s not like Kishi bothers to keep a coherent history or timeline. But considering the Daimyo does have a say in who the Hokage of the village is and they are enough at the Daimyo’s beck and call to fight in the future Shinobi Wars, it is more likely that the budding Konoha did successfully negotiate with the Daimyo for a “our loyalty and your nominal supervision over our village in exchange for extra land and free reign over our internal structure” kind of deal.

The clans being united was also an advantage for the Daimyo, once he got over the “can no longer charge whatever he wants for assassinations”. Because with all the Land of Fire clans unified, suddenly any upstart lords looking to depose him or wars he might get up to with other Daimyo look a lot more winnable. The other major Elemental nations, seeing this and realizing it’s not going away, probably scrambled to get their own clans to unify, which is one reason why Kiri is … such a disaster in canon. Rather than being a willing endeavor by the various clans to unite for their own benefit, the Daimyo of Water basically threw all his feral clans off their respective islands and territories and said “you all live here now and you all do what I tell you or else the Land of Fire will wipe us out”. Which, as you can see, went swimmingly for them (sarcasm). That or the other shinobi clans in the various nations did actually unionize of their own will once they saw it worked for Konoha, but Kiri never got the memo of “actually make peace with your rivals” and instead just clustered together in a feral knot of “we hate each other but we hate outsiders MORE so we’re going to pretend we actually function as a society”. Which lasted… Not long.

And there you go, another shinobi economics ramble. I feel like this one is even less structured than the last one but hey at least it’s like. 100 whole words shorter.

#Secret Engima Rambles #naruto #ninja economics #naruto worldbuilding #warring states era

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sleepdeprivedsimp234 · 5 months

Note

I fear I may absolutely need your Texas hcs

*not forcing ^_^*

EEEEEE YAY I GET TO RAMBLE ABOUT THE SILLY COWBOY :D

Appearance:

Height: 6'5

Build: Lanky w/ soft and strong edge

Eyes: reddish brown

Hair: curly (2b) dark brown hair, shoulder length

Skin tone: almond skin

Natural markings: freckles (they're all star shaped too :3)

Other markings: many scars from both burns, whips, guns, and blades.

Other physical traits: a couple of his fingers are crooked, he's double jointed, and his wrist and spine are both slightly crooked due to shit breaking and not healing right. He also has sharp fangs cuz yes :3

Normal hc's:

-he has five dogs (two German shepherds named Rosco and Daisy, one Aussie shepherd named Bailey, one Texas heeler named Blue, and a Chihuahua named Maria. Tho. If you ask the other states, Maria is the wicked witch of Vernon /JOKE. She's only sweet to Texas. And Loui. But everyone loves Loui.)

-is somehow both a big brother and a mother figure to Loui

-he age regresses as a coping mechanism

-^usually to around ages 5-12

-really enjoys reading and drawing

-he also really loves flowers, tho he'd rather die than admit it cuz he thinks it's "too feminine"

-he lets Loui braid flowers and other accessories into his hair

-^anyone that teases him about it gets punched in the face <3

-speaks Spanish (obviously), French, German, Vietnamese, Chinese, Latin (tho he doesn't use it), ASL, Arabic, and surprisingly (at least to the other states), Hindi, Tagalog, Korean, Russian, Czech, Polish, and Urdu.

-^He has almost no problem switching between these too

-AuDHD, Depression, Anxiety, BPD, DID, PTSD, and mild psychosis

-he does trick riding!

-bro is severely dehydrated

-he hates balloons for some reason

-sometimes when he's speaking, he'll either slip into Spanish or he'll slip into at least a Spanish accent

-i don't see him as someone that cusses a lot, only a moderate amount. Like- he'll just say something like "FUCK! Oh- uh- sorry 😔"

-^so when he cusses and doesn't apologize immediately after, it means that he's either info dumping (too focused to apologize), or hes extremely pissed off.

-He can play the guitar (any type, tho he prefers acoustic), piano, and strangely kalimba and the Irish flute cuz he likes how they sound.

-His human name is Terrence cuz it feels like a very Texan name to me

Angst hc's under the cut!! (tw for sa, sh, child abuse, drinking, and hallucinations/delusions)

-he has a really bad drinking and smoking problem

-Due to some trauma related to SA, he has parts of his body that are "trigger spots", as in, he panics if they're touched (mainly without permission)

-he panics if any of his limbs are pinned, in any circumstance (sparring, tickling, play fighting, other more scandalous activities, he HATES not having control of his limbs)

-very insecure about his soft spots :(

-blind in one eye (thanks Mexico :/)

-Texas does alot of things that he doesn't know is SH

-VERY jumpy, especially with the sound of breaking glass, shouting, or anything that sounds anything like a gunshot

-the more Spanish, the more panicked he is

-he often has alot of hallucinations of people that hurt him in the past

-^and they've felt so real that he could practically feel the pain again.

#welcome to the table #welcome to the statehouse #ben brainard #wttt #wttsh #wttt texas #wttsh texas

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sonnysonder · 1 year

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here are my Fit ramblings, hope you enjoy!

Ramón loves tinkering and upgrading Fit's mechanical hand

Ramón still has the nautilus shell and the slime ball Fit gave him on the first day

Fit is the only [player] human on the Quesadilla, it's just really funny to me

he was a "radio broadcaster" on 2b, like just rambling into the radio to keep his sanity and keep records on things, therefore his title of self-proclaimed historian. this is also how Tazercraft discovered him :3c

he simply CANNOT stand still, especially when stressed or brainstorming, he also talks with his hands

he's partially blind and deaf in one eye and ear, due to an end crystal incident

Fit likes to teleport first or last to ensure everyone's safety

he is also often babysit Chats; shapeshifting hiveminds that follow players around

more of a theory, but Fit's contractors are people responsible for NOCOM

Fit is a reality bender, a term used for people using hacks, usually an item that is capable of distorting reality. perception of time and space of benders gets warped, only becoming worse the longer/more they use hacks

okay so worldbuilding and i have a hc that there are few stages of godhood in the qsmp universe, but important here are only Astral Beings, entities that ascended beyond godhood, capable of creating and controlling realms; like Hausemaster who Fit one met, and was promptly told to "fuck off"

also in the light of recent events, the night Ramón disappeared, Fit had a breakdown, cried for the first time in years, and have not slept for like 2 days doing manual labour and gaslighting himself :D

sorry there's a lot to read! i clearly have a favourite qsmp blorbo and i have so many thoughts about him :DD

Don't be ridiculous, it's a joy to have long asks where I have a lot to say back, and boy, do I have a LOT to say. Get ready. I'm gonna explain my thoughts on some of my favs from here :D (Even though they're all fantastic)

For the only human one, I haven't really sorted out what I think all the other players are species-wise, but it's fun to have lots of non-humans to explore cool powers and stuff. Fit has always been a human to me personally. Very cool.

I've seen you talk about the radio one before, and I'm honestly tempted to yoink it for myself. It's such a fun way to tie in his 2b history videos to the server itself, and I get this really cool image of him playing through an old radio in the middle of a scorched wasteland Fallout-style. I imagine it was of vital importance in keeping his sanity, especially while he was grappling with the effects of using hacked clients. Imagine how cool it would be for tazercraft to finally meet him in person too lol.

"OH MY GOD!!!! ITS THE GUY FROM THE RADIO!!!!!!"

For the teleport one, yeah, Fit definitely likes taking the lead, looking out for people, keeping them safe however he can. His friends and family are his world, they're who he lives for, and he's making sure no one gets left behind. And if he can have any semblance of control over their safety, he's gonna take it for sure. He's ALL about control. He's had so little of it for so long.

For the magic one, I have similar ideas on how magic works. I will make another post talking about it in more detail, but tldr; there's a lot of godly magic permeating 2b2t, it's what gives it a lot of it's weirdness. People can choose to focus and wield it (Hack clients) but at a great cost. The gods don't want mortals using magic, and so they turn their backs on them. These people often devolve, and lose any and all morality. Only few have managed to master it, one being Fit.

I have a lot of thoughts surrounding worldbuilding and the nature of Hausemaster + surrounding "gods" but i'm gonna leave those for a big post cause this answer is already too long.

Same thing for the last hc on ur ask. If I went in detail about my thoughts now we'd be here for hours :,)

(Oh my god I need to make a q!Fit character analysis. He's such a complex character)

This isn't even a quarter of everything I have to say about q!Fit I am in NECK DEEP.

#qsmp #fitmc #qsmp fitmc #qfit

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cvrc11 · 9 months

Text

AN INCOHERENT RAMBLING ANALYSIS OF A VERY SMALL PORTION OF NIER AUTOMATA (2017)'S THEMES

Okay so it has been 6 years of me basically thinking about Nier Automata at least once a day and planning to eventually write something coherent about it, and I still plan to do that because lord knows this will NOT be coherent, but @flemmboyant accidentally prompted me a few days ago to spew a bunch of analysis of this game she has never played at her and she told me it would be a good tumblr post so. This is my extremely rambling and incoherent response (slightly edited for clarity where her responses to my messages were relevant for context) to the prompt "Tell me about Nier Automata's themes", because I just needed to get this OUT OF MY SYSTEM apparently jesus christ it's been SIX YEARS it feels so much longer how did i ever live before Nier Automata. anyway.

This contains full spoilers for the game's themes and narrative, and also a single pretty major spoiler for the original Nier, and probably will only make sense if you're familiar with the game, so, readmore time!

[okay so this all began with me saying that 2B's highly sexualized design, and to a lesser extent 9S's kinda creepy schoolboy design, actually serve important thematic functions despite Yoko Taro's insistence that he just "likes pretty girls". So that is the theme I am explaining here at the start] Basically I think what Automata is going for with the fact that all the normal, "civilian" androids who are fighting in the war as a ragtag resistance are wearing sensible clothes and look like adult humans with fairly photorealistic deisgns, but the military androids who are created by and fight for YoRHA are either anime waifus in sexy maid costumes or pedobait pubescent boys in schoolboy outfits (a thing which is definitely more widely sexualized in Japan than in the west) is that the military propaganda machine of YoRHA is invested in the spectacle over the reality of war and purposefully attempts to distance their aesthetics from the harsh realities of war and make them all sexy and shiny and cute. And ALSO the game has this thing about how the androids have maybe been programmed to experience the equivalent of human sexual pleasure when engaging in violence and murder so anything that aesthetically brings sex and violence close together is in service of that, such as the fact that 2B's and 9S's clothes get blown off when they use their BUILT IN SELF-DESTRUCT OPTION because they're SENTIENT BOMBS BUILT FOR A FOREVER WAR WITH NO PURPOSE BUT THE PERPETUATION OF A CYCLE OF DEATH AND VIOLENCE but they've been made SEXY and CUTE to MAKE EVERYONE, INCLUDING THEMSELVES, FORGET ABOUT THAT FACT AND -------------------------

also the YoRHA androids are all made to be sexy and aesthetically perfect but they are not expected to experience love or desire or appreciate beauty, aesthetic or otherwise, while the normal androids who look like normal people DO experience all these things and act on them and fall in love and fuck and love flowers and landscapes but the YoRHA androids don't even KNOW that they ARE sexy and aesthetically perfect because it means nothing to them, it's just what they look like, and being half naked is meaningless to them but they always have BLINDFOLDS on because yoko taro is SUBTLE AS A BRICK and the scenes of the greatest intimacy and sensuality and love are those in which they TAKE OFF THEIR BLINDFOLDS and see each other's EYES

and even the machine lifeforms, who look alien and have nothing of the human form about them, understand desire and love and beauty more than these perfect beautiful sexy porcelain dolls who mimic the most exaggerated fantasies of their ancient human creators who are no longer even alive to appreciate them

anyway now you have the requisite knowledge to understand why i am insane about the one moment in nier automata that i am the most insane about, which is when, in a conversation that isn't voiced and plays out in text on a screen between 9S and one of the game's antagonists, the antagonist in question suddenly, in an attempt to throw 9S off, asks "You want to **** 2B, don't you?" and it's this big shock moment because OBVIOUSLY you ASSUME that says FUCK and this comes out of NOWHERE and it DOES throw 9S off HARD and then later in the game 9S's mental state deteriorates very significantly and he fights a bunch of 2B clones and during the fight he starts to be creepier and more manic and obsessive in the violence he inflicts on her and in the end he chokes the last one of them to death while laughing maniacally and also crying and you think the plot twist is that the censored word was maybe KILL and he's secretly been trying to kill her all along but then you remember that their sex and violence responses have been programmed to be the same and you realize the word isn't censored for THE PLAYER because PEOPLE SWEAR IN THIS GAME ALL THE TIME, the word is censored FOR 9S because HE DOESN'T KNOW THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE TWO, THEY ARE THE SAME TO HIM and AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

he's a GUN in LOVE who thinks the only feeling is BULLET

anyway this is only one layer of the like 5000 thematic angles this game is juggling. the first boss you fight is named Marx and Engels. Fucking. YOKO TARO, MAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

there's a part where a bunch of children commit suicide and depending on how you interpret certain stuff the game MIGHT be saying to you, in that very moment, that they were never real people and didn't actually feel anything and were just machines doing a fake-out chinese room thing to mimic genuine human interiority, and grabbing you by the throat and going "so you SHOULDN'T CARE, RIGHT??? so WHY DO YOU STILL CARE, BITCH" and this moment rewrote my personal understanding of what it means to have empathy and what the moral value of empathy is, but it could ALSO NOT BE SAYING THAT AT ALL and their feelings COULD have been real in which case it is instead asking you if you feel good about yourself because you WANTED their feelings to be real, you TAUGHT THEM to feel like real humans, you ENCOURAGED them to embrace their humanity and be humans and not machines and now they're DEAD BECAUSE OF IT so WAS IT ACTUALLY BETTER FOR THEM TO FEEL THINGS, YOU MONSTER

none of this is even TOUCHING on all the INSANE shit this game does with GENDER there is SO MUCH GENDER EVERYWHERE the gender is LEAKING THROUGH THE SEAMS the YoRHA soldiers have comical over the top sexual dimorphism and absolutely NO interest in gender or traditional gender roles while the robots that have no sex of any kind or any reason to even associate with any gender whatsoever are OBSESSED with human gender and WANT TO HAVE IT SO BAD and they DON'T UNDERSTAND IT but they WANT IT SO MUCH and they KEEP TRYING TO INVENT GENDER but they DON'T KNOW WHAT ITS FOR they just THINK IT MUST BE IMPORTANT BECAUSE IT WAS IMPORTANT FOR HUMANS and in their attempts to enshrine it REVEAL ITS ABSURDITY AND POINTLESSNESS

this is the Little Sister machine. By putting that pink bow on her head of her own volition because of her naive and foolish but authentic desire to be a woman she is more of a woman than 2B, who was designed by generations of scientists to be the Most Woman Ever but who has never had a single thought in her life about the concept of gender or womanhood, could ever be. This is the game's implicit message all the time and it rules

i didn't even get into the themes about the unnecessary overvaluing of "authenticity" or "natural" things that are manifested by the fact that not only are there no humans in the game, humans died out a long time ago and the "regular people" you interact with are all other androids like yourself who either were never programmed to be insane killing machines like you or simply broke their programming at some point so now you ostensibly fight your forever war to "protect humanity" but are in fact protecting your fellow androids but ALSO THOSE "HUMANS" WHO MADE YOU AND THEN DIED OUT CENTURIES AGO WERE THEMSELVES NOT ACTUALLY HUMANS BECAUSE IN THE ORIGINAL NIER IT'S REVEALED HUMANS DIED OUT THOUSANDS OF YEARS BEFORE /THAT/ GAME AND THE "HUMANS" WHO MADE THE ANDROIDS IN NIER AUTOMATA WERE THEMSELVES ARTIFICIAL CREATIONS DESIGNED TO PREVENT HUMANITY'S EXTINCTION THAT FAILED AND INSTEAD JUST BECAME THE NEW HUMANS SO YOU ARE LIKE. SO MANY LAYERS DEEP INTO NOT BEING "NATURAL" OR "AUTHENTIC" HUMANITY BECAUSE IN FACT THE LAST BIOLOGICAL HUMAN DIED OVER ELEVEN THOUSAND YEARS AGO

So ALL that stuff I talked about the authenticity of "real" gender AND the authenticity of the "humanity" of the robot children has to be taken in the additional context of MULTIPLE MATRYOSHKA DOLL LAYERS OF FAKE HUMANS

[at this point she asked me WHO ARE YOU FIGHTING IN THE GAME because as you can see I kept referring to a war without explaining bc i was too busy being insane about THE THEMES]

YOU, or "androids", are fighting "machine lifeforms", which, you see, are TOTALLY DIFFERENT, and unlike YOU, an android who definitely has normal human emotions, are OBVIOUSLY just mindless drones with NO semblance of humanity to them, because THEY were designed by an ALIEN RACE to INVADE EARTH and then it's revealed the aliens actually died out on their own like IMMEDIATELY after invading and the machines have just been self-replicating all along lmao

honestly the FUNNIEST part of Nier Automata is that THE ALIENS ARE REAL and are UTTERLY IRRELEVANT

like. it seems so OBVIOUS from the START that the big reveal is gonna be "oh the machines are ALSO man made this is some wild misunderstanding and the war is pointless" and then you FIND THE ALIENS and they're DEAD IN A SPACESHIP and the FACT THAT THERE'S ALIENS THAT INVADED EARTH IS NEVER EXPANDED UPON they are never given A NAME OR ANY DEPTH OR ANYTHING IT'S JUST AN ACCEPTED FACT OF THIS SETTING THAT "THE ALIENS" INVADED AT SOME POINT AND NOW THEY'RE DEAD, LET'S MOVE ON

and they are NEVER BROUGHT UP AGAIN because that's the POINT, the point is that both the humans and the aliens are an EXCUSE, even if the androids didn't KNOW both species were extinct (which, the android LEADERS did know about the humans at least), it wouldn't MATTER if they DID know because the war is no longer ABOUT humans OR aliens even though that's what ALL the propaganda is about and the motto of YoRHA is PROTECT MANKIND and you hear that phrase EVERY FIVE SECONDS and then it's revealed they're dead and NOTHING CHANGES and the androids STILL shout PROTECT MANKIND as they go to kill and die in an endless war over nothing with a group that by and large isn't even hostile, they're just sitting around trying to figure out if putting on a pink bow bestows GENDER for fuck's sake they have no interest in conquering the earth for aliens that THEY don't even KNOW about because they don't even HAVE the mythologized notion of their own creators that the androids have, the machines that ARE fighting are only fighting because THEY'VE ALWAYS BEEN FIGHTING and that's just WHAT LIFE IS and AAAAAAAAAAAAA

you built a world wide death machine army and told them they were fighting for peace but they can never make peace because they're a DEATH MACHINE and all they know is DEATH and THEY'RE GUNS IN LOVE WHO THINK THE ONLY FEELING IS BULLET and that REMAINS TRUE ON THE LEVEL OF THE PERSONAL DRAMA BETWEEN 9S AND 2B JUST AS MUCH AS ON THE GRAND SCALE OF THE GLOBAL EXTINCTION GENOCIDE WAR BECAUSE THEY'RE THE SAME THING DRIVEN BY THE SAME FUNDAMENTAL PROBLEM AND THAT PROBLEM IS THE FASCIST DRIVE TO BUILD A GUN TO SOLVE EVERY PROBLEM

as you can see even when i start by saying "the FUNNIEST thing about the game" it ends up being NOT FUNNY AT ALL because it's ALL ABOUT THE THEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES [tears off my own head and kicks it out the window, still screaming about themes]

#my thoughts #nier automata #nier automata spoilers #suicide mention #THE THEEEEEEMEEEEEEEES

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soulsam · 6 months

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Ask game!! For Sam and Dean both:

What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you like?

What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you despise?

OMG HELLO TUMBLR USER SPNTRUNK???? WHAT AN HONOR

I will ramble about my samdean thoughts ANY TIME so thank you for indulging me lol

1a. for sam, I loooove when the fandom acknowledges and magnifies his obsession with dean. he's slightly quieter about it (he doesn't go around yelling YOU TOUCH MY BROTHER AND ILL KILL YOU the way dean does) but that doesn't make him any less codependent or any less freakish!!!!!! he is JUST as insane about dean as dean is about him, and I LOVE to see that explored

1b. for dean, I love fandom discussions of his experiences with romance and sex and what they mean to him. I feel like the show mostly goes "dean sleeps around lol" and leaves it at that, but sometimes you get a glimpse of something else (cassie, lisa), and I always found those parts to be extremely intriguing. because dean can be such a hopeless romantic!!! he just doesn't let himself have good things, he holds them at arms length so that when he inevitably loses them it might not hurt so much. it's so heartbreaking and I could write academic essays about it probably. (as a sidenote, this aspect of his character is part of why I love samdean so much. he and sam have their moments, they've been separated by thousands of miles and death itself and it hurts dean terribly, but they always find their way back to each other. sam is the one person who dean has never really lost, not forever. and now that they're in their shared(!!!!) heaven, he never will.)

2a. I am going to have to try so so so so so hard not to write an essay about this one. the way the wider fandom treats sam makes my blood BOIL. tossing him to the side, pretending he doesn't exist, saying dean would be better off without him, etc. I hate all of it. I hate the way he gets sidelined in his own story, and the worst part is that THE SHOW ITSELF DOES IT TOO. SO I CANT EVEN BLAME THE STUPID FANDOM ENTIRELY. but if I had to pick one thing that I hate the most about the fandom's treatment of sam...I think I would be unoriginal and choose the purgatory debacle. there are just so many reasons why he shouldn't be blamed so harshly for the way he handled that time period. like. 1. he had JUST gotten hallucifer out of his head. he was having psychotic episodes so bad he nearly DIED, he barely even knew what was real and what was a hallucination. 2. he was ALONE. bobby was dead, dean and cas were, by all accounts, dead. his whole family was GONE. I can't even imagine the grief he must have endured in that time. I wouldn't be surprised if he had been suicidal, or if he'd had another psychotic break. and 3. WHERE WAS HE SUPPOSED TO GO LOOKING? he had no reason to think that dean SURVIVED the dick-splosion, and even if he was certain he had, sam KNOWS how dangerous it is to open the door to purgatory. and he couldn't exactly ask cas about it, could he? what was he supposed to do, summon crowley? yeah I'm sure that would've gone great. plus, 4. he and dean AGREED not to look for each other. sure, they make and break those kinds of promises often, but come the fuck on. how is it fair to ask sam, hopeless and alone and barely even functional enough to stand on his own two feet, to defy the promise he and dean made in order to bring him back from the dead and probably let something else nasty out along with him? that hardly seems reasonable to me.

um. I got heated about that one. anyway everyone lay off sam about purgatory okay. including dean. I get why he was upset but man cmon.

2b. this one's going to be shorter because I'm pissed about purgatory now lol but I hate when people make dean out to be some kind of. horrific wifebeater (and sam his battered, trapped woman). like. yeah. he's got anger issues and violent tendencies. yes, he often fails to break the cycle of abuse. yes, he lashes out at sam, and that's bad. but like. sam doesnt need protection from dean??? sam doesnt need liberation from dean???? dean isn't some horrible monster who belittles his brother for shits and giggles. he's a man who's seen way too much, lost way too much. it hurts to look at the ways he's changed, but he's doing the best he fucking can. also, pet peeve!! I HATE HATE HATE when people point to the behavior he exhibited while he had the mark of cain and go "see!! see!!! it was inside him all along!!!! he's a terrible person!!!!" LIKE. UM. HES LITERALLY BEEN SADDLED WITH AN ANCIENT CURSE. I DONT THINK ITS FAIR TO PROJECT ITS EFFECTS ONTO HIS CHARACTER, ACTUALLY. it annoys me soooooo bad. like did they miss the parts where he tried everything he could to keep his urges under control? did they miss the horrified look he'd have on his face after he went on a killing spree he couldn't stop? it's willful ignorance, and I hate that shit!!! I hate it!!!!!

genuinely though. and maybe this is silly to say after all that rambling. I don't want to be negative here. I love my (our!!) little corner of this fandom and I genuinely unironically love this show with every fiber of my being. it's my favorite piece of media ever and maybe that's partly just recency bias but like. I had sworn off live action TV for weird personal reasons (if you go looking, I have a personal post saying I refused to reblog spn posts because I didn't want gifs of real people on my blog. lmao) and yet here I am. I love this show. I love the wincest fandom. I love my mutuals. and as soon as I finish the finale I'm probably just going to start the whole damn thing over again.

oh also SPNTRUNK I LOVE YOUR ART !!! WTF!!!! HI???? IM STILL KIND OF IN AWE LOL

#ANYWAY. theres that #lol #sam winchester #dean winchester #spn #ask game #keithposting #;

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hammity-hammer · 2 years

Text

Happy Holi-gays!

Here’s my spicy six holiday writing! (two months late (((:)

Thank you so much to @thefreakandthehair for the prompt, please go make sure to read everything that everyone else has been posting!

(i also made art that's on ao3 with the story- but im a sleeby boy and that shit's difficult to add in so-- go check it out on there! & my dividers were made by someone...... i cannot recall their user and i feel like a bag of dicks but if any of y'all can figure it out pls tag them for me so i know<3)

(second also-- ty to lou, ej, & cat for beta-ing for me<33 i love you guys so much!)

to read on ao3:

if you wanna read it here then here ya go!

10 days before Christmas - 1987

Eddie slams his fist on the door to apartment 2B, rattling the door on its hinges. He’s got his bottom lip bit between his teeth while he pops his knuckles, waiting anxiously for someone to let him in. After what feels like five minutes (which realistically was about thirty seconds, but when you’re nervous time seems to move exceedingly slowly, give the man a break), a very festive looking Argyle opens the door. Bells ring as he lazily waves a hello to Eddie, nods his head and takes a step back to let him inside.

“To what do I owe the pleasure, my herbaceous buddy?” He asks with a dopey grin on his face. Argyle closes the door while Eddie looks around, taking in the colorful lights and heavily decorated tree by the television.

“Well, okay, so here’s the deal. It’s our first Christmas, like, together, you know? Like, with everybody being in their little couples and no weird upside down related shit, and we’re real adults now, right? And we’re gonna have our little Christmas party together, but I was just thinking, everyone has like little traditions that they do for holidays, right?” Eddie rambles, his hands moving wildly around him while he meanders around his point. Argyle nods at him, hanging off of every word to encourage him to go on.

“What if, we all— you, me, Stevie, Jonny, Nance, and Robbie come up with our own traditions? Like, maybe we all bring one tradition that our family does or something, and we make it like a thing?” He starts again, a hopeful look on his face while he explains, “‘Cause me and Wayne have always gone and visited some of my family and like we spend a day making tamales and flautas together, and I was just thinking that I would really, really enjoy seeing everybody try and cook that shit. I like, barely have gotten the hang of it, and I’ve been helping with them and not hanging at the kiddie table for like, four years or something now.”

Argyle thinks for a second, nodding his head softly, while Eddie wrings his hands together and grins at him. Thinking about the few cousins he has on Wayne’s side always makes him happy, but when he thinks about spending holidays with them, his happiness expands tenfold. They don’t see each other often, but every time they reconnect, it’s like there was never any time in between their meetings.

“Okay brochacho, I totally am picking up what you’re putting down, and I think we totally could convince our funky little friends to do that! Just thinking about Big Byers covered in maza has me fucking excited,” Argyle laughs. He grins so wide his eyes basically close at the thought, but suddenly they shoot open, “Wait bro, where are we gonna do all this at? Jonny boy and I definitely don’t have a big enough kitchen, and I don’t think you and Nance would be able to hold all six of us, would you?”

“Don’t you worry your pretty little head, dearest Argyle, for we’ve got the Harrington Manor at our disposal for the foreseeable future,” Eddie grins wickedly, throwing his arms out in front of him as if he’s displaying something in the air. “Speaking of Harrington, I do need to go see my lovely boy, so I’ll smell ya later, dude. Is it cool if I call you later to confirm the time and everything once Jonny’s home?” He asks as he spins around to leave, opening the door and taking one step outside, so he can still hear Argyle’s response.

“Sure dude, we’re spending a night in for once, so we’ll be here,” He affirms, as if he and Jonathan ever leave their apartment for anything besides work and picking up their “supply” from Eddie.

Eddie basically skips to his van, throwing the door open and hopping in. He puts in his favorite tape that Steve made him, that has a perfect cursive “You suck, Eds” written on the front. He remembers when Steve gave it to him, acting all shy and trying to use his Harrington Charm to make Eddie swoon.

He’d batted his pretty round eyes at Eddie, hiding his arms behind his back while he asked questions about metal that he already knew the answer to. Eddie’d rolled his eyes and thrown a crooked smile his way, saying, “Now, now pretty boy, I’m pretty sure we’ve already gone over this. Do you just like hearing me explain things to you a million times?” He brought his hand up to push hair out of Steve’s face, basking in the deep blush that slowly spread from his cheeks to his neck.

“I- I um… I was just wondering because… Um- I made you this? And you know, I just wanted to make sure I had, like, remembered things correctly and everything,” Steve started rambling, his hands bringing the perfectly wrapped tape in front of him, a shy smile on his face. Eddie stared shell shocked at the gift in front of him, his hand still softly brushed up against Steve’s temple. Steve nudged the tape into Eddie’s chest, blinking his eyes very obviously at him.

Eddie took the present that was given to him, and held it carefully. With the utmost caution, he peeled the black wrapping paper back, his eyes growing even bigger when he realized it was actually a mixtape that Steve made. No one had ever made Eddie a mixtape before, and especially not a mixtape covered in goofy looking hearts and two stick figures holding hands on the bottom.

He glanced up at Steve, who was biting his bottom lip anxiously, as he did a little jazz hand, “Tada! I’ve been working on this for like… A few months, honestly. I just wanted it to be perfect for you? Because you’re perfect to me?” An awkward grin graced his face while he scratched his neck with the non-jazz hand.

“Steve Harrington… I know you didn’t actually make the little ole town freak a mixtape now, did you?” Eddie whispered, a teasing grin beginning to form on his lips.

Steve’s blush deepened even further while he looked to the floor, shrugging his shoulders.“I just wanted you to have a little piece of me with you everywhere you go? You know, like, you get to hear these songs and then think of…Steve,” He mumbled and rocked back and forth on his heels. Steve blew air out of his mouth and gave Eddie a goofy grin.

“Stevie, you… You are so unbelievable,” Eddie breathed and put the tape in his front pocket. He cupped Steve’s face with his hands and gently pressed their lips together. Steve immediately kissed him back, moving his hands to Eddie’s hips and stepping closer to him. They stayed like that, kissing in Steve’s bedroom and losing track of time. Eventually, Eddie pulled back.

“No one’s ever done anything this nice for me before,” He breathed, his face barely inches from Steve’s. “You are the most beautiful man I’ve ever met, inside and out, and I really, really don’t understand why you’d spend any time doing something so sweet for me.”

“Can’t you tell why I’d do this? I feel like I’ve been so obvious!” Steve laughed, moving one hand from Eddie’s hip to cup his cheek, “I like you so much, Eds. I know that it says you suck, but that’s actually a lie. You make me so, so happy, and you’re practically all I talk about. I’m pretty sure Robin was going to murder me if I didn’t figure out some way to tell you that I have feelings for you.” He grinned and poked Eddie’s cheek, “Plus, I was getting real sick and tired of not being able to do this.” Steve kissed him softly and pulled away before Eddie could kiss back.

“Now, if I said I wanted to be your boyfriend… would that be okay?” He asked shyly, moving his hands to hold Eddie’s. Steve chewed his lip while Eddie processed, spinning the rings on Eddie’s fingers.

“I would be over the moon if I got to call you mine, pretty boy.” Eddie nodded, his reserved smile turning into a giant grin.

Eddie uses his key to unlock the front door to the “Harrington Manor”, kicking his shoes off when he gets in and putting his keys in the bowl. He wanders to his boyfriend’s room, humming a little ‘Mr. Crowley’ while he swings open the door, finding a napping Steve on the bed. He’s got his glasses falling off his nose, and Eddie’s very loved copy of The Two Towers resting open on his chest.

“Stevie, baby… Good morning,” he whispers, lightly brushing hair from Steve’s forehead. Steve huffs and shakes his head, rolling over as he presses his face into his pillow.

“C’mon, I’ve gotta talk to you about some holiday plans,” Eddie laughs, plucking the book from his boyfriend and trying to roll him back over. “You aren’t even supposed to be sleeping right now, you’re gonna mess up your sleep schedule!”

“Eds… I gotta sleeeeep, get in the bed with me, please?” Steve mumbles into the pillow, not letting Eddie roll him. He reaches out his hands and grabs at Eddie, trying to pull him on top. “So sleepy… Waited so long.”

“Baby, it’s been barely an hour, I literally haven't been gone long enough for you to be asleep.” Eddie complains as he crawls over Steve, cradling his head, so he doesn’t accidentally hurt him.

“Tell me about it,” Steve huffs, opening one eye to look at Eddie as he cracks a sleepy smile. Eddie grins back, “Stevie, can we talk now? I have a question that’s kind of important.”

Steve yawns, “Go for it.” He rests a hand gently on Eddie’s head and starts playing with his hair.

“So… You know how we don’t really have any plans for Christmas? Because Rob and Nance are doing their Hanukkah thing, and the Hopper-Byers clan has decided to vacation to Cali, excluding Jonny, so we were just going to… do nothing?” Eddie continues, “I talked to Argyle, and we want to try and do like a holiday cooking party type thing. Here. Just the six of us, no kids, and we can make our own holiday traditions.”

Steve’s eyes shoot open, “You mean like… like a family? You wanna do family things with me, Eds? And, when would we do them? Christmas is in like… a week, and I think Robs told me that Hanukkah starts soon, right?” He moves his hand down to hold Eddie’s cheek.

“Stevie, of course I wanna do family things with you, I love you. I love you so, so much. You are my family, you and Wayne, but I want to celebrate with you. I want to celebrate every single holiday we can together. And we can have the party this Saturday? I’m pretty sure everyone’s got it off, and I have Friday off, too, so I can go and get supplies. Does that sound okay?” Eddie leans into Steve’s hand, giving it a soft kiss and smiling.

“That sounds perfect, love. I’ll go call Robs and check if that works for them. Do you wanna come with me, or do you wanna stay here and rest a little?” Steve asks, pulling Eddie close to plant a soft kiss to his lips. Eddie smiles and kisses him back.

“I’ll go wherever you go, pretty boy.”

---

“Buckley residence, this is Nancy speaking,” Nancy answers the phone, sticking her tongue out at Robin who wasn’t able to get there quick enough.

“Oh, Steve! To what do we owe the pleasure of your call?” She leans away from Robin, who grabs for her and the phone, “Nance! That’s my best friend, I wanna talk to him!”

“Oh wow, you guys are inviting us to your house for a… holiday cooking party…? Do you mean like Christmas, because you know Robbie doesn’t celebrate that, and if you’re inviting us to a Christmas party I will be offended on her behalf, considering you’re supposed to be her best friend.” Nancy scolds, squealing when Robin grabs her by the waist. Robin plants a kiss on the side of her head, giggling when Nancy blushes.

“Okay… So you want us to come over Saturday? We’ll just have to be home in time to light the menorah and everything, so you can’t keep us too late,” Nancy questions, looking over to Robin.

She puts her hand over the receiver, “Does Saturday at 3pm sound okay to make food with the boys?” Robin nods, resting her chin on Nancy’s shoulder. Uncovering the receiver, Nancy lets Steve know that they’ll be there before hanging up.

“Not even letting me speak to my best friend in the whole world? The love of my life? Nancy, what are you doing! Are you jealous of little ole Stevie?” Robin jokes, placing dramatic, slobbery kisses to her girlfriend’s shoulder. Nancy giggles and rolls her eyes, “Darling. You see him every single day at work, and I just wanted to get him off the phone so I could spend some time with my favorite woman on the whole planet.”

Nancy turns around, wrapping her arms around Robin’s neck as she plants a soft kiss to her cheek. Robin snorts and her face starts to turn a bright red as she wraps her arms tighter around Nancy’s waist.

“I’m your favorite woman on the whole planet, Nance?” Robin whispers, a cheeky smile on her face. Nancy nods, kissing her other cheek, “Robin Buckley, you may be my most favorite person on the whole planet, not just my favorite woman.” Robin kisses her softly, knowing that Nancy’s telling the truth, if the letter she’d received 6 months ago was anything to go by.

“Robbie,

I don’t think I have ever met someone who makes me feel the way that you do. I thought that maybe I was making things up, or that I was misreading our interactions, but I know that the way I feel about you isn’t anything that could be misread or made up. I think about you more than is probably sane, considering that we barely get to see each other as of late. I love listening to you ramble when you’re nervous, or when you’re really excited about something, or someone brings up a topic that you love. I love when you make snarky comments under your breath that you think no one can hear. I love when you protect your friends without thought, not caring what happens to you as long as they’re safe. I love when you smile, when you laugh, when you accidentally make noises because you’re so excited you have no other way to express it. I love that you love things so passionately, not caring what people have to say. I love you, Robin. I think that this may be the easiest thing I’ve ever done, although I guess I am copping out a bit, sending a letter and all. I hope that you get this soon, and I hope that I’m not wrong about your feelings.

Estaré aquí cuando me quieras, por siempre si es lo que quieres.

Para siempre,

Nancy Wheeler”

As soon as Robin finished reading the letter, she called Steve. She waited for about three rings until he picked up, “Harrington residence, this is Steve speaking.”

“Steve! Get over here, like asap! I really, really need to get to Nancy’s, like now, please,” Robin urged. She kept the phone between her shoulder and ear as she slipped her converse on.

“Nancy’s? Why do you need to go there now? It’s like… 2pm, what are you going to do at 2pm on a weekday?” Steve asked. Robin could hear him picking up his keys, though, which had her grinning.

“I think your ex-girlfriend is also in love with me? She sent me a letter? I really, really hope this isn’t some kind of sick joke, Steve. No one would do that, right? I-I mean… No one even knows, about me, I mean, so they wouldn’t know to confess to me as Nancy… Right?” Robin started rambling, almost dropping the phone while she tied her shoes.

“Robs. Calm down, dude. I don’t think anyone knows, and it’s definitely very like Nance to send you a letter like we don’t have cars and phones,” Steve laughed, “I’m leaving now, love you, see you soon.”

“I love you too, hurry your ass up before I spiral even further, please!” Robin rushed out, putting the phone back into the cradle.

It took him 20 minutes, but Steve finally pulled up to Robin’s house. He honked his horn obnoxiously, and Robin ran outside so fast she almost fell down the steps to her house.

“Dear lord, could you have taken any longer? How am I supposed to go profess my love to your ex if you take 20 minutes to get here?” She started speaking as soon as she opened the car door, throwing her bag in by her feet before throwing herself in.

“I’m sorry that I have to obey traffic laws? Would you rather I died on the way to get you to the love of your life?” He asked rhetorically, easing his foot off of the brake and heading for Nancy’s house.

“I dunno, dude, I think maybe that would not be so great, but I can’t think about anything right now besides the fact that your ex-girlfriend, one of the most literally smartest people in all of Hawkins,” Robin started, pulling down the passenger side visor and checking her hair. “Confessed her love for your current best friend and platonic soulmate, one of the most awkward and anxious people in all of Hawkins.” She continued, rubbing under her eyes and slapping her cheeks.

“You may be awkward and anxious, but you’re still a catch! Do you know how many languages you know? And, you have like the cutest freckles, and you get her weird nerd jokes! You guys are like, perfect for eachother!” Steve exclaimed, taking his eyes off the road to look incredulously at his best friend.

“I guess… you might be right. And, she wrote in Spanish! Do you know how many people have learned phrases in other languages for me? None, Steve, the answer is none. She went out and learned how to say something, just because she knows that I know the language.” Robin rambled, her hands moving wildly as Steve pulled in front of Nancy’s house.

“She totally is in love with you, please, please go get your girl, and keep me posted!” He yelled the last part as Robin got out of the car, waving her hand at him and flipping him off.

Nancy walked to her front door when she heard the bell ring, opening it to a red faced Robin.

“I love you, Nancy,” Robin started, glancing at Nancy’s face and then immediately looking at the ground. “I am so, so in love with you. I don’t think I’ve ever had someone tell me they love me, especially not the way you did, and I especially didn’t expect you to pull out Spanish on me. No one’s ever learned Spanish for me, Nance. I- I don’t think anyone’s ever really even written me a—” Nancy cut her off, kissing her quickly and softly, barely giving Robin time to react.

“You are so incredibly cute when you’re nervous,” She said, her voice barely above a whisper. Robin’s face turned an even darker shade of red and her eyes widened comically.

“I-I’m sorry, I just really, really didn’t know that you felt the same way I did, and I just got the letter and I wanted to see you as soon as I could, so Steve drove me over here and now I’m here and you’re here and I just love you.” Robin laughed nervously.

“Can we- can we do that again? Please?” She whispered, ghosting her fingers along her bottom lip when she realized that Nancy had in fact kissed her. Nancy reached her hand out to Robin’s face, touching her cheek softly.

“You mean kiss?” She asked, taking a small step closer to Robin. Robin nodded, so Nancy leaned in to press their lips together again. Robin let out a small breath, kissing Nancy eagerly.

They stayed like that for what simultaneously felt like five minutes and five hours, before breaking apart to smile at each other.

“It’s just you and me now, okay?” Nancy asked as she broke the kiss, cradling Robin’s head in her hands.

Robin nodded and took one of Nancy’s hands off of her face to hold it, giving it a soft kiss.

“Cara mia, could you please come here?” Robin yells across the house to Nancy. She ties the last bow on the small gift box on the table as she waits. Nancy makes her way to the living room with a little gift bag in her hand.

“Did you finish your wrapping, lovely?” Nancy asks and sets her gift bag next to Robin’s box. She wraps an arm around Robin’s waist and plants a soft kiss on her cheek.

“I did indeed! Do you like the little bow?” She responds, twisting to kiss Nancy as she grabs the present box to hold up.

“Oh! That’s so cute! You just did that?” Nancy exclaims, gently taking the present to examine it. “This has to be the cutest thing I’ve ever gotten and I haven’t even opened it yet.”

“It’s no big deal, really! Just some ribbon and scissors and time and I got it all done!” Robin laughs awkwardly, a light blush on her cheeks. “Do you wanna open it and see if you like the gift…?” She suggests, biting her lip lightly when Nancy nods.

Nancy gently undoes the bow on top and takes her time removing the paper to reveal a small, black, hand-bound leather journal. Her mouth opens in a little ‘o’ as she opens it to find that the first page has already been written in.

“For Nancy, my beautifully brained pearl in a sea of fish-scale imitations. I adore you and you are going so, so many places.

Xx Robbie”

Nancy puffs her bottom lip out and looks up at Robin, “I’m the beautiful brain? Robs, this is so thoughtful. I love this and I’m going to write only the most special things in it. I love you.”

“I love you too! I tried really hard and had to make Steve take me to like four different bookstores to try and find the perfect journal, because they all had like boring journals with flowers and like, girly things, and you’re girly but you’re not girly, and you deserve something that’s professional but sleek, but also sturdy, which is why I went with a hand-bound one instead of just a regular old machine-bound one, and Steve thought it was sweet and so did Eddie, but nothing that they think matters because they’re not you, even though Steve did—” Robin gets interrupted in her rambling by a swift kiss from her girlfriend, pointedly shutting her up.

“It’s perfect. You’re perfect. Open your gift now, please,” She whispers, pulling the bag from the table and lightly shoving it in Robin’s hands.

Robin nods quickly and takes the tissue out of the bag, squealing when she pulls out a rubix cube. “Nancy! Are you for real right now?” She asks as she drops the bag and starts trying to solve the cube.

“One hundred percent, lovely. I know it’s not a lot but I figured it would make you happy and keep you entertained,” Nancy smiles as she watches Robin hop from one foot to the other while she fidgets.

“I absolutely love it, please, please can we light the menorah so we can cuddle on the couch and I can play with this?” Robin whisper yells and looks up at Nancy.

Nancy nods and takes the lighter from the table, “Do you wanna do this or do you want me to so you don’t have to put the cube down?”

“You, please. Thank you,” She responds, smiling softly while Nancy lights the Shamash. After Nancy lights the Shamash, Robin recites the blessings and gives Nancy the go ahead to light the first candle. She lights it and places it on the very far right side of the menorah, smiling proudly at Robin. Nancy places the Shabash back in the middle of the menorah and lets Robin begin singing ‘Maoz Tzur’, closing her eyes to take time to just listen.

When Robin finishes, Nancy holds her hand softly, “Thank you for letting me be a part of this with you, Robbie. I really appreciate it. This was very special and I’m sorry your parents couldn’t be here tonight to help.”

Robin smiles softly at her and plants a kiss to her cheek, “It’s okay, it really is. Their jobs wouldn’t let them off early enough and we’ve got a big next few days, so I’m glad I got to spend tonight with you.” She takes the hand holding Nancy’s and leads her into the living room, dropping her off at the couch.

“So, querida, do you wanna watch Rocky Horror or The Apartment?”

---

Jonathan hums as he licks the rolling paper and seals it closed, twisting the end and grinning to himself.

“Argyle, babe, are you ready to smoke the prettiest doobie ever made?” He asks and turns to his side, holding the joint up proudly. Argyle laughs and kisses his cheek, “I was born ready, Jonny baby. This bad boy’s about to be so good!”

Argyle lights the joint, inhaling smoothly and holding in for a second before lightly grabbing Jonathan’s chin to give him a light kiss and exhale smoke into his mouth. Jonathan inhales the smoke and breaks the kiss to exhale, chuckling at his boyfriend’s antics.

They continue smoking, keeping up the puff-puff-pass routine and occasionally sharing kisses and smoke, smiling at eachother. When they’ve finally cashed it, Argyle puts it out in their Garfield ashtray, a gift they’d received from Eddie and Uncle Wayne.

“What say you to a holiday dinner with the mystery gang? Eds and I talked about it earlier because he just, like, showed up here, and we thought it might be cool to have everyone together,” He asks, taking Jonathan’s hand to place light kisses on his knuckles.

“Oh yeah, when are we gonna do that? Also, where? I don’t think our apartment is big enough for all of us…” Jonathan looks around with glassy eyes, his lips slightly parted. He squints and turns his head back to Argyle, shrugging lightly when Argyle grins.

Argyle laughs, “We’re gonna do it on uh… Saturday? I think? And Eds volunteered Stevie’s house! But… I think he’s supposed to call soon… I can’t really remember…” He shrugs, leaning his head onto his boyfriend’s shoulder and yawning. Jonathan wraps an arm around him, pulling him in close and closes his eyes.

Suddenly, the phone rings, pulling them out of their little bubble. Argyle hops up, almost hitting their heads together before running to the phone attached to the wall. He picks it up excitedly, cheesing at his boyfriend on the couch,“Thank you for calling the Byers-Alvarez residence, to what do I owe the pleasure of your call, my righteous friend?”

Argyle nods, seemingly very into what the other person was saying. Having piqued Jonathan’s interest, he gets off the couch to see who’s called them. He walks up behind Argyle, snaking his arms around his waist before gently placing kisses onto his shoulder. Jonathan does his best to eavesdrop, and Eddie makes it especially easy as he talks loudly and excitedly on the other end.

“Stevie said we can use the Harrington Manor, so you guys can get here at like, 2:30 so we have time to get things finished before the ladies have to go back to Rob’s?”

“You got it, bud! Jonny and I will be there, should we bring anything?” Argyle responds, and finishes their conversation before hanging up the phone. He turns in Jonathan’s embrace and wraps his arms around his neck, planting a big, slobbery kiss on his lips. Jonathan returns the kiss, smiling widely at his dorky partner.

Argyle hums softly, moving one hand to hold Jonathan’s cheek, caressing it softly. He breaks the kiss after a moment, touching their foreheads together.

“I love you, sweet thing.” He whispers, rubbing his thumb up and down Jonathan’s cheek.

“I love you more, Arg.” His boyfriend responds, lightly rubbing their noses together and letting out a little laugh. He gives him one more peck before reaching up to take the hand that’s on his face into his own, swaying to an imaginary beat. Argyle joins him, lacing their fingers together. He hums softly, resting his cheek against Jonathan’s as they continue their dance together.

Argyle rang the doorbell to Jonathan’s house, taking a step back so he wasn’t right in front of the door when it opened. He looked down at the pizza box in his hands, grinning as he thought about its contents.

Jonathan opened the door, with bloodshot eyes and a goofy smile on his face. He pushed the door open a bit wider and gestured for Argyle to come in.

“Hey man, I wasn’t expecting you! Come on in, it’s just me tonight cause Will and El went out with my mom earlier,” He supplied as Argyle followed him inside and stepped out of his shoes.

“Oh, righteous! I was at work and they let me leave early, so I thought I’d come see my favorite Jonny Boy and bring him some ‘zza,” Argyle held out the box to his friend after Jonathan closed the door. He took the pizza box and walked it into the kitchen to place it on the table.

“Thanks, Arg, what kind is it?” Jonathan walked to a cabinet and pulled out two plates, setting them on the table where they’d be sitting. Argyle thanked him and opened the box with a shy smile on his face.

“It’s uh… Veggie and pineapple, just like you like it!” He turned the now opened box to Jonathan, watching him for his reaction. Argyle had placed the spinach on his pizza to look like a little marijuana leaf in the corner, and tomatoes in the center in the shape of a heart. Next to the heart was a pineapple question mark, and a little note was tucked underneath. Jonathan’s mouth opened in surprise, and he removed the note from underneath.

“Jonny,

You’re my best friend in the whole world, my sweet cheese, my ride or die. I love you with my whole heart, and I put it on a pizza just for you! (Don’t panic, no hearts were harmed in the making of this pizza) I don’t think I’d rather spend my time with anyone but you. Please look up at me now!”

Jonathan chuckled lightly and held onto the note, his eyes moving up to look at Argyle who had a soft blush on his cheeks.

“Do you wanna maybe… be mine, Jonny?” He asked softly, chewing on his bottom lip while he waited on a response.

“Like… Your boyfriend?”Jonathan clarified. Argyle nodded, his eyes wider than they had been before.

Jonathan stepped closer to him, reaching the hand without the note up to cup Argyle’s cheek. He nodded quickly before moving in to press their lips together. Argyle immediately kissed him back, wrapping his arms around Jonathan’s waist.

Breaking away, Jonathan smiled at his now-boyfriend, “Do you wanna eat this masterpiece and roll up with me, boyfriend?”

Argyle laughed and squeezed Jonathan where he held him, “That sounds rad, boyfriend.”

Jonathan presses a tender kiss to his boyfriend’s lips, taking one step back so he can extend one of the arms connected to Argyle and spin him in a circle. Argyle laughs while he spins, his long hair gliding in the air like an aerialist’s silks.

“Aren’t you glad you stayed here now?” He asks, landing gently back in Jonathan’s arms. Jonathan smiles sweetly up at him, “I’m always glad I get to see you, babe. I wouldn’t miss this for the world.”

As they continue their dance, Argyle hums a soft string of notes, not seeming to match any songs that Jonathan’s familiar with. He moves their noncommittal steps into a consistent 4/4 beat, starting a shuffle as he begins to sing in a soft voice,

“Amor, adiós

No se puede continuar

Ya la magia terminó

Ahora tengo que marchar

Será mejor

Seguir nuestra soledad

Si hoy el cielo se cubrió

Quizás mañana brille el sol,”

Jonathan closes his eyes and loses himself in Argyle’s voice, letting himself be dragged wherever his partner sees fit. When Argyle begins the chorus with a dip and a dramatic,

“No sufras (más)

(Quizás mañana nuestro llanto quede atrás)

Y si me dices que tu amor me esperará

Tendré la luz que mi sendero alumbrará

Y volveré

Como un ave que retorna a su nidal

Verás que pronto volveré y me quedaré

Con esa paz que siempre, siempre tú me das

Que tú me das,”

Jonathan chuckles and kisses his boyfriend, making sure not to get him in the middle of the lyrics. Argyle smiles brightly at him, pecking his lips back. He finishes their dance, not by completing his song, but by spinning Jonathan one last time and planting an overly dramatic kiss on his hand.

“I bet you didn’t know I had that up my sleeve, Sweet Thing,” He laughs while Jonathan gives him an exasperated smile.

“I figured you could sing but… I can say I’ve never had anyone make me dance with them while serenading me.”

“Well, since you had to stay back here for me, I figured I’d let you know that even if you think we might be better apart, I’ll always come back for you,” Argyle says earnestly, making sure to keep a firm grip on Jonathan’s hands while he maintained eye contact.

“I didn’t have to stay back for you, I chose to and you know it! You totally could’ve had a fun holiday here with everyone, it’s not your fault your family decided that they suck and would rather abandon their only son than accept him,” Jonathan replies sternly, frowning and tugging his boyfriend closer.

---

It’s a quarter past three when Argyle and Jonathan knock on Harrington's door, eyes as red-rimmed and glossy as ever. They hold each other's hands while they wait, barely registering that the door had even opened before Eddie pokes his head out.

“What’s the password?” He croaks out in an overly dramatic voice.

Argyle jumps back a bit, and Jonathan’s eyebrows raise slightly in surprise, “Is it… Mary?” he asks tentatively.

Eddie holds a hand over his mouth, trying to suppress his laughter while he opens the door for them. “You’re fucking blitzed, dude. Is that what took you guys so long?” They both nod and giggle, sharing a look with each other before entering the household.

Argyle and Jonathan make their way through the hall before realizing that one of the doorways has mistletoe hanging from the top. Jonathan turns to his partner with a grin, “Aww shucks, Arg. Looks like someone owes me a kiss.” He winks and pulls him slightly closer by the hand.

Raising an eyebrow, Argyle takes another step toward him, “Oh, do I now?”

Jonathan bites his lip and nods slowly, completely enamored by the man in front of him. Argyle rests his free hand softly on Jonathan’s cheek, just above his jaw, and closes the space between them with a gentle kiss. Jon smiles against his lips, sighing contentedly through his nose.

After a few moments pressed together, they separate and Argyle drags Jonathan to the kitchen.

The other three are busy at their own stations, Steve sitting on a stool at the island with a big bowl of some tan mush that makes Jonathan feel a bit queasy. Robin and Nancy are working on grating potatoes and onions by the sink, getting them ready to go into latkes.

“Woah Eddie, we’ve got the white boy working on tamales? You didn’t wait to put Jonny to work?” Argyle asks with a laugh while Jonathan looks between them confused.

“Tamales? That’s what he’s doing? Why’s he got a spoon?” He stares at Steve’s hands, covered in masa with some weird looking yellow thing that he’s spreading masa on.

Eddie laughs and nods, walking behind Steve to watch his technique. “He’s making tamales, yes, I just taught him while we were waiting for you two slow-pokes. Get over here and we’ll get you making them great in no time.”

Argyle shrugs when Jonathan looks at him, “Go on, baby, Eddie won’t hurt you.” Jonathan sits by Steve and takes a spoon, watching Eddie with wide eyes while he explains tamal basics.

Watching as the women grate their vegetables, Argyle decides to walk over and help. Robin hands over some potatoes and a cheese grater with a grin on her face, “Welcome to holidays at the Harrington’s! Glad you two finally showed up, my hands are tired from doing this shit.”

With a roll of her eyes Nancy hip checks Robin and laughs, “You’ve barely been doing any of the work, babe. Just standing there staring at me the whole time.”

Robin scoffs, a bright red flush beginning to rise from her neck, “That is- that’s so not true! I promise, I totally have been… working on the latkes!”

“Ladies, ladies, it’s okay. I am here in all of my gorgeous glory to learn and to teach, I don’t care who’s doing what so long as my hands keep moving on this sacred food,” Argyle soothes, starting to grate his potatoes onto a plate in front of him.

“Eddie, I genuinely don’t think this is supposed to look like this…” Steve murmurs while staring wide eyed at the corn husk covered fully in goopy maza. Eddie walks back over to him and has to turn his head to laugh into his elbow at the sight in front of him.

“Babe- how did you manage to get maza so far up your own arm? It just- goes on the husk?” He half-scolds, amazed at his ridiculous boyfriend.

Steve shrugs and doesn’t move his arms for fear of making even more of a mess. Jonathan giggles from his seat, quiet and high pitched when he realizes just what exactly his faux-competitor has done.

“Man… I don’t know if there’s any saving that one,” He snorts as he lays his newly finished husk in the pile. Steve sighs dejectedly and groans, a dramatic pout on his face when he sees Jonathan finish.

Eddie takes a spoon and starts to clean off the husk so it’s salvageable, trying not to laugh more at his poor boyfriend. He gently kisses his cheek and moves the husk to the pile before finishing his cleaning with Steve’s arm.

“Thank you, Eds,” Steve whispers, his cheeks a bright red. He gets up from his seat and runs to the bathroom to clean his arms off and try to stave off his embarrassment, worried it may turn bad quickly.

Eddie just watches as he leaves, chuckling to himself before sitting in his chair and watching Jonathan continue with his tamales.

“You caught on really quick, Jon, I’m surprised. Argyle over there was saying he was all excited to laugh at you,” He mentions, keeping a close eye on how thick Jonathan keeps the spread while he works.

“Argyle doesn’t know anything- I help my mom cook all the time and this is just like a weird swiss roll!” Jonathan huffs out before placing more husks into the bowl. This earns another laugh from Eddie who decides to get up and take the bowl of husks so he can start filling them with meat.

“Hey man, I know some things,” Argyle shouts indignantly from across the room- taken out of his zone with the latkes.

Jonathan rolls his eyes with a smile, continuing on his work while Argyle keeps his snarky jokes audible to Robin and Nancy only.

---

Steve finally comes back to see that everyone’s already started actually cooking- the latkes being fried on the stove while Eddie places the wrapped up tamales in a giant pot to boil on a different burner.

“I really missed the tamales getting finished?” He pouts and stands behind Eddie, resting his chin on his shoulder.

“Yeah baby, that’s what happens when you run away for a while,” Eddie chides and puts the lid on the pot, turning around to press a soft kiss to his boyfriend’s forehead.

Robin pretends to gag, “Could you guys go be gay somewhere else, please?” Nancy giggles from next to Robin, knowing that they were absolutely standing almost exactly like that right before Steve came back.

“Hey Robs, can you do something for me?” Steve blinks his big eyes at her.

“Yeah, what’s up?” She sets the spatula she was using down and turns to him with furrowed brows.

“Fuck off!”

Eddie chokes on a laugh, completely caught off guard by his boyfriend’s hostility, “Babe- babe please, oh my god!”

Robin rolls her eyes and flips him off, grabbing her spatula again to keep cooking, “Literally suck my whole dick, Harrington.” Her girlfriend snorts at that and bites her lip to keep from laughing too hard.

“Wuh-oh! Lovers’ quarrel?” Argyle asks before he realizes that they were just kidding around with each other. Jonathan brings his hand to his lips and presses a kiss there, “You know they’re just being them, babe. It’s fine.” He soothes and Argyle laughs and nods.

---

By some holiday miracle, the food comes out unscathed and they’re finally able to sit down and just enjoy each other’s company. Steve and Eddie set the table, while Jonathan and Argyle start plating everything to be served. Robin and Nancy take a much deserved break before grabbing sodas and lemonade from Steve’s garage.

“All right, gays and gaydies, I present to you: our Wexi-ewish buffest,” Argyle finishes displaying the food on the table with a flourish.

“Did you really just…”

“Yeah, I think he did, Rob.”

Steve and Eddie giggle at their end of the table, having partaken in some purple palm tree delight before the food was set down. Jonathan beams at his ridiculous lover, excited to spend the holiday with his found family.

Argyle takes it upon himself to give everybody their tamales, latkes, and the various sides that they bought pre-made, before sitting himself between Robin and Jonathan. Everyone thanks him and digs in, exhausted after their long day of cooking.

“Okay, Eddie, where the fuck did you learn this recipe for the chicken? This shit’s schmackin’, I’m gonna need to kiss whichever abuela gave you this,” Argyle moans after his first bite of tamal. Eddie laughs so hard a bit of latke flies back onto his plate and he has to cover his mouth with a hand.

“I mean- if you really wanna call Wayne abuela, be my guest. I cannot control how that man reacts to you,” He responds before taking a drink of lemonade.

Jonathan giggles at his boyfriend before taking a bite. His eyes widen, “No man, I think Argyle might be onto something… this is really fucking good, man.”

Steve nods in agreement as he stuffs more tamal into his mouth, completely forgoing speaking for the time being. Robin and Nancy eat their food a bit more calmly, but still share the sentiment.

“This may just be the best tamal I’ve ever had. Not that I’ve had that many,” Robin smiles and takes another bite. Nancy wipes her mouth with a napkin, “It is really good, Eddie! Thank you for teaching the boys how to make them.”

Eddie blushes and ducks his head while he eats, “It’s just normal holiday shit- no need to thank me, guys…” Steve nudges his shoulder and shakes his head, “No sir, we are not doing that shit right now. You made our holiday special, with Argyle of course, and I don’t think I’ll ever be able to properly thank you.” He maintains eye contact with his boyfriend and nods his head seriously.

“You’re right… I’m sorry- I just am not used to all this,” Eddie laughs, “You guys make the holidays really great, too, you know.”

They spend the rest of the evening eating their food, cleaning up, and generally just basking in their togetherness.

---

“Promise me we’ll be together every Christmas?” Steve whispers to Eddie while they’re tangled together on the couch— everyone left hours ago, leaving them to cuddle and rest peacefully.

“Whatever you want, love, I’m yours.” Eddie seals his promise with a kiss.

#lexswinterficchallenge #steddie #ronance #jargyle #spicy six #jonathan byers #eddie munson #steve harrington #nancy wheeler #robin buckley #ham writes !#an actual fic for once????#im late as always lmfao #argyle (no last name poor man)

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