#and wants to know all the details about my life then let me know

[xitsensunmoon]

My first ever comic con! And first cosplay too. Of course it's gonna be my boy :] Ramblings about the process are under the cut(Let me know if?? You would want me to elaborate with process images for any of the steps?)

The costume took me forever to make, as I've never done any machine sewing, sculpting, fabric dying or spray painting before but learning all of these was so fucking fun!! I never realised just how many different skills go into making a cosplay but it was so worth it!!!

Almost all of the clothes(except the hat) were purchased first as bases, but all of the detailing was added by me. All of the fabric used was originally just scraps that I was given for free so I needed to learn how to dye and dye all of the stars, they were originally white.

The sewing machine was its own beast that brought me tons of frustration from the lack of skill and knowledge (it was devastating to find out that 95% of fuck ups were my fault and not the machine's lmao). But as a result, a hat sewn from scratch, all of the fur trims, embroidery on the corset, stars and the collar(which is very hard to see on the pictures unfortunately) was all added manually. The stars and the stripes(on the back of the cape) were attached using heat-and-bond adhesive (I WISH I knew about such thing just when I started working on this. It would save me so much time and nerves.)

Then I found out about polymorph(mouldable plastic) and it has become the next thing I wanted to learn, to sculpt the claws and the fangs(yes, they're handmade jfksjs). The claws I then primed and painted in trillion coats because I wasn't satisfied with the colour of the spray paint. The fangs I moulded to my own teeth and then stained with tea to match the colour of my teeth :)c

As for makeup, I used Mehron Paradise water activated paints. At first I wanted to try to save money and bought myself Snazaroo instead, which unfortunately turned out to be a waste. Snazaroo didn't hold on my face for longer than 2 hours, cracking and peeling awfully. Mehron on the other hand survived 11 hours of me smiling, talking, emoting and such and didn't even crease at the smile lines(I'm actually shocked about that). It obviously works like any other makeup which means your skin texture and wrinkles won't go anywhere but Mehron's elasticity pleasantly surprised me. It did obviously smear from sweat and saliva(if you're eating and licking your lips) but if you don't touch the skin it just dries again, self setting. But if it's dry it's fully smear-proof. Highly recommend!

And last but not least, I've decided against painting my hands as it was very risky that I will stain everything I touch at the smallest hint of sweat. So instead I got myself gloves-tights(? Not sure how they're called but it's made from the same fabric as tights) and painted them with normal acrylic paint(did you know you could dye fabric with acrylic paint? I personally didn't), then heat set with an iron and voilà, they're reusable, my hands are not stained after an exhausting day and I don't stain everything I touch. It worked wonderfully which honestly was a surprise as I was really sceptical that acrylic paint will somehow stay in place.

I think this whole thing took me minimum of 6 months with big-big breaks for my school and life in general. But I'm really proud! This project taught me so many new skills and I couldn't have been happier about learning new knowledge, even if it sucked to fail in the meantime.

Everyone at the con was really nice and gave me a large confidence boost even tho it was my first time and I had no idea what I was doing. Taking photos with other people was really awkward/new for me as I hate cameras so I really had no idea how to pose/behave in front of one. But that's okay I think. This whole experience definitely made me want to do this again, so I think that will come with experience. Thank you for reading this far, hope you enjoyed this little summary :)

[yoonieper]

For the Birds— Prologue | JJK

I want you to stay even though you don’t want me.

♡ Pairing: Jungkook x Reader (feat. Yuri) 

♡ Genre: angst, smut, future fluff

♡ Rated: D for Disappointment

♡ Series Warnings: Lots of smut (not always healthy), cheating, discussions of depression, this series includes Jk in a pretty toxic environment, degradation (not the sexy kind), manipulation, and overall Jk being in an emotionally abusive situation! This chapter is not too bad, but please read with caution going forward!

♡ Chapter Warnings: Jk sad boy, Yuri being… :/, oral (f. receiving), masturbation (m)

♡ Word Count: 12.6k

♡ Summary: As the son of the CEO at Golden Tech, a marriage was arranged in the name of business. Jungkook really tried to make the most of his situation and be the best husband he could be, but no matter how much he tried, his wife just doesn’t seem to want him. Then you… you came into his life and his eyes couldn’t help but wander.

♡ Now Playing: LOVE. by Kendrick Lamar (feat. Zacari)– see masterlist for full playlist!

♡ Betas: Thank so much you to @illyrian-book-lover and @teawithhoneyandlemon for reading this part for me! If you’re interested in betaing future parts, dm me. If you're interested in becoming a permanent beta for this series please first click here and refer to 'details about the job' section for more details and dm for any questions you might have! 

♡ Author’s Note: I’ve been working on this for a while, but I got sudden inspiration to finish the prologue~ This series should get pretty exciting, so stay tuned! ← Omg y’all the prologue has been in my drafts since 2020 :’) This series has gone through a lot of evolution that I might talk about in the future. This series is very different from where it started, but the prologue has always remained vastly the same, so it has a special place in my heart! Hope you enjoy the series my friends, this one is very emotional, so prepare for the rollercoaster ahead! I’m excited to show you what’s to come <3!

No reposting, modifying. Translating is not allowed unless given explicit permission. Thank you so much : D

main masterlist ✩ series masterlist » coming on 6/30

“Secretary Yu, could you remind me of the schedule for the day?”Jungkook let his disgruntled sigh fill the room as he rubbed his temples, doing anything he could for a chance to soothe the subtle pounding in his head. Displeasure was painted all over his features, and his eyes were tightly closed while he listened to his assistant’s clicking heels stop in front of his desk. 

The room was dark, but that hadn’t kept his retinas from burning any less as he looked at the woman in front of him— he didn’t know at this point if it was because of all the crying or the exhaustion from waking up so early. The day had only just begun, and he already wanted it to end; to just climb back in bed, sleep away his troubles, and forget everything that transpired over the last 24 hours. Hell, maybe there was still a chance he was asleep, and that this was all just a bad nightmare his brain had conjured up in nervousness.

“Director Jeon? I didn’t expect you to be in so early.” Secretary Yu Min-ju tried to smile but the furrowing of her eyebrows made it obvious she was a little confused. This hadn’t been part of the plan they discussed. Jungkook didn’t let the moment linger, instead, gave her a firm look of exasperation that made her hastily pull out her tablet to find his schedule. 

Her usual cheerfulness was not what he needed today. 

Min-ju couldn't stop the smile appearing on her face when she saw its rare emptiness. “Your hard work these past few days has paid off. Today is pretty light. A meeting with the financial team at 12, and then another meeting at 1pm with Mr. Cho. You should be able to go home after that.” The secretary warmly smiled.

Jungkook’s eyes drifted down to the picture sitting on his desk as she spoke. It was of him and his wife on their honeymoon last year to The Maldives. They had been walking on the beach and his mother had texted and begged for a picture of the new couple; Jungkook could do nothing but oblige. Yuri had clung onto his shoulders when he held up his phone, and upon counting down to one, gave him a surprise kiss on the cheek leading to Jungkook’s eager, unnaturally wide smile being captured forever and memorialized on his desk. He couldn’t help but frown. 

He wanted to be excited, craved for it, yearned for it, but home was the last place he wanted to be right now. All that hard work for nothing. For once he wished he had more to do, anything to keep his mind busy.

“Didn’t I have deadlines for a few upcoming reports?” He suddenly questioned. 

Min-ju looked farther down her list and she nodded. “There are a few documents that need reviewing and signatures, but a majority of them aren’t due till next week. But you don’t need to—“ 

“I’ll get them done today.” Jungkook’s tone was astoundingly emotionless, completely void of the delightful emotion he had spoken with in the days leading up to today. Min-ju was at a loss for words. She knew how hard he worked to free up his day for the special occasion. What's with the sudden change of plans? What happened? 

It was Jungkook himself who had requested for her to try and free his schedule so he would be in the office for as little time as possible. There was no joy or giddiness behind his eyes like she had expected. Min-ju had pictured her boss walking in with a strange cheerfulness in his mood, rainbows and sparkles practically dancing around him as he skipped through the halls and greeted her good morning. But his tone lacked spirit altogether. Jungkook was like a husk compared to the person she said goodbye to the evening prior. 

“I— uh alright, I’ll make sure to send them to you later sir.” Min-ju bowed, before she scrambled away. 

Jungkook listened intently to the way her heels tentatively clicked while she walked out, it was at a certain speed that told him she was rushing to get out of there. As soon as the door closed behind her, he let out a loud sigh as he leaned back in his chair. 

What a fucking disappointment this whole day turned out to be.

Jungkook had planned today to be one of the most preeminent days for him and his wife as a couple and those plans were all squashed within a second last night. It had been playing over and over in his head since he woke up this morning.

He tangled his hands in his hair, his grip growing tighter and tighter on his short locks as the reality of the situation hit him for the billionth time. It just wouldn’t stop, replaying in a loop hoping something might change. That he’d wake up from this nightmare, or maybe even realize something that in the heat of the moment had gone entirely unnoticed— anything to explain what happened. Last night still didn’t feel real. 

The cancellation had been entirely unexpected.

•────•──────────•────•

Last night Jungkook had been in high spirits all day. A radiance was cast on his features by the pure, exorbitant elation flowing through his body. It was like the most beautiful display of fireworks were going off all at once, tickling his insides, and making the smile on his face grow so wide it hurt his cheeks but he couldn’t find it in him to stop. After all, tomorrow was going to be the turning point for their relationship. Something was about to happen, he was sure of it.

Jungkook was lying on their shared bed, having just recently come out from the shower. His hair was still slightly damp, and a giddy smile was plastered on his face as he scrolled through his phone. He was eagerly reviewing their itinerary for their plans tomorrow. 

D-day. The day that Jungkook and his wife were meant to celebrate their one and a half year anniversary. It might be a weird occasion to commemorate, but after being apart for too many holidays and milestones for various reasons, Jungkook went out of his way and made it a point to plan something to make up for all the lost time. 

He let his attention turn from his phone and settled on his wife who was meticulously going through her nightly routine at her vanity. His smile softened as he silently watched her dab night cream across her cheeks. 

How was this his life?

Sometimes it was a little hard to believe Yuri was actually his wife, it was almost intimidating at how beautiful she was. Her eyes were round yet sharp in their gaze as she focused on the mirror. Her skin was usually so soft but it shined even more so at that moment from all the various oils and moisturizers she made sure to use every night. Her long, dark hair flowed nicely down her back but was pushed out of her face by a cute, fuzzy, gray headband. And even in pajamas, she managed to carry this level of elegance that pulled him in so easily. 

Jungkook bit his lip to contain the smile that was threatening to envelop him entirely. 

The outfit was especially a big deal. It was different from the shorts and tank tops she’d normally wear. It had been his idea to start the celebration with matching pajamas, a slight preview to the day he had planned for the both of them. Jungkook’s heart had hammered in his chest when Yuri relented and agreed to wear the set he had given to her before she went to shower. It matched his own exactly. It was nothing too special, but a nice way to bring them together before the big day. A simple, gray pajama-button-down-classic; the material was so soft and he knew Yuri would look just as amazing as it felt. 

She always did.

His excitement was almost overflowing, Jungkook couldn’t stop himself from getting up so he was right behind her. He wrapped his arms around her small frame, and gently placed a quick peck on her neck. 

“I’m so excited for tomorrow~” He hummed lightly into her skin. 

Yuri didn’t say anything, her attention trained on her reflection. 

“What about you? Are you looking forward to spending the day together and doing all the fun stuff I have planned?” He sang. As soon as the words left his mouth he knew it sounded cringey, but for once he didn’t care. He just wanted to hear it, that she was excited to be with him.

Yuri’s gaze eventually flickered over to him before she turned around to face him. 

“Jungkook, I have to tell you something…“ She sighed. He tried to ignore his uneasy feeling about her tone. 

“Oh, you did?” Jungkook attempted to fight back his disappointment. That wasn’t what he hoped she’d say. 

“Yeah, I did,” she muttered. He hated the look on his face as he peered into the mirror. A slight frown had dimmed down his smile, and he wanted to do anything to wipe it away. There was no time for frowning, he didn’t want to ruin tomorrow before it even started. He shouldn’t overthink it.

“I had something I needed to mention too.” He went back over to the bed. “I wasn’t able to get out of my meetings tomorrow so I’ll have to go in for a few hours, but I promise I’ll come straight back here.” He had really tried, but there was no way to reschedule them any further into the week. At least that was the only thing on his agenda tomorrow, however, he had wanted to take the day off completely and spend it with his wife. 

Jungkook saw Yuri’s face drop. 

“Don't worry, I’ll be here all morning! I worked hard to clear my schedule as much as I could, it’ll just be two meetings and then I’m back.” He tried to smile. Hopefully, she wouldn’t mind the brief interruption too much.

“Actually—“ Yuri dragged it out as she looked back into the mirror to make sure she rubbed in the cream well, “I have plans tomorrow.” She put it frankly. 

Jungkook blinked a couple of times before a look of confusion settled on his features. “Plans?” His voice had grown small. It didn’t have a reason to yet, but maybe all along he knew where this was going the minute she brought it up.

“I have a friend from when I went to school in the US coming to visit.” She mumbled. Jungkook couldn’t hide the disappointment from showing. 

“Oh? Um…”

“We’re planning to spend some time together, so…” 

“When will you guys be done?” He questioned, still a little shocked that she was just telling him about this now, the day before their plans. “Hopefully we can work around it. Maybe you guys could meet up while I’m gone so it doesn’t mess up—“ 

“Jungkook, this is going to be an all-day thing.” He could see the way Yuri watched his expression from the mirror as the gears started turning in his head, now realizing what that meant. The silence that settled in the room was painful. 

“But… but we had plans.” 

“I know we did, but—“ 

“But?! Yuri I told you weeks ago!” Jungkook retorted. He was angry now. He didn’t want to be angry.

“Weeks Yuri, weeks!” He continued, unable to process this was happening. There was no way she could have simply “forgotten” about the day they were supposed to spend together. He’d literally been talking about it since they both agreed to do this a few weeks ago.

“Why didn’t you tell me sooner?” He accused, confused how news like this would just go unsaid. 

“She just called me two days ago,” Yuri argued, as if that would make this any better. 

“Two days ago— and you didn’t say anything until now?” He was baffled. There was no excuse why she couldn’t have brought this up sooner. 

“Well— look how you’re reacting.” She scoffed and crossed her arms.

That just set him off even more.

“How I’m reacting, Yuri?! We talked about this for weeks; it’s the only thing I’ve been talking about for the past few days. I’m sorry that I was excited to spend the day with my wife.” Jungkook exploded at her. He was furious, and he didn’t like it. This wasn’t how this day was supposed to go. 

Yuri didn’t say anything but instead rolled her eyes.

“And you can’t just cancel?!” He finally asked, getting up and pacing around their shared room. 

“Jungkook, she's my friend! I haven’t seen her in a while and—“

“But what about me?!” He snapped. The words seemed to hang in the air, a painful silence following it. Jungkook noticed the look on her face, and he sighed as he sat down at the edge of the bed so he was facing her. He ran his hands through his hair and took a couple deep breaths to get himself to calm down.

“I didn’t mean for it to come out like that… it’s just… Yuri, we've been married for a year and a half and I feel like I hardly know you. I know this is technically only meant to be business, but I thought we said we’d try and make this work.” He cried as he grabbed a hold of her hands. He looked her directly in the eyes, wanting her to know that he meant every word. 

Was he really asking for too much?

“We’ve hardly gotten time together since our honeymoon. Our schedules are full, and I know that’s not our fault, but I just wanted some time alone with you even if it was only for a day.” He pleaded; the desperation was so evident in his voice. He felt pathetic. 

“We can do that any day. My friend will only be here for the next two weeks.” Yuri acknowledged before she turned back to her vanity. 

“And why can’t you just hang out another day?” He asked, defeat overtaking him and his efforts to convince her. There was no point really. It seemed she had already made up her mind.

“I said she’s leaving in two weeks. We only have a limited time to hang out before she’s catching a plane back to California. Besides, we can just do something after she leaves. We will have all the time in the world when she’s gone in two weeks.” Her words were punches straight to the heart. She always says that when she needs to cancel plans— that next week never comes. 

Her excuse was ridiculous, but this wasn’t the first time it had happened. He’s used to it now and knows there isn’t really any point in trying to negotiate. 

“Yuri, I have a business trip that week.” 

“Well what about the—“ she was cut off. 

“You have a shoot in Hawaii that week.” Jungkook just sighed and got back up to sit on his side of the bed. “We can just forget about it all together in that case.” He fumed as he flipped over, now too upset to even face her right now. 

Part of him was hoping she’d just say “Never mind, I’ll just reschedule,” jump in the bed and cuddle with him because she realized just how much this meant to him, to herself, and to them both as a couple. Everything would be fine and–

But no… Yuri just sat there, seemingly unaffected by the cancellation of their plans.

He began to think it was a little sad at how upset he was. Yuri didn’t care; maybe he truly had made this a bigger deal than it needed to be. She was right in some sense— they live together and can plan something any day of the year. 

But it still hurt that just for this one day, Yuri didn’t want to spend time with him. 

•────•──────────•────•

It did not get any better the next day. He woke up in a bad mood. She wasn’t even there in the morning. Everything just made him upset: Yuri’s cold, empty side of the bed, he forgot to turn off his alarm so he missed his opportunity to sleep in, and he nearly slipped in the shower as he was ranting to himself about how dumb this was. Their annoying, squeaky bedroom door that Jungkook’s been meaning to call someone about. Even the milk for his cereal pissed him off because he asked Yuri last night to pick up more while she was out but of course, she forgot, and he forgot to tell their cook about it thinking she’d get it, so he only had a little left for his breakfast this morning.

The last place he wanted to be was at their apartment so he left for work as soon as he was ready.

Jungkook took out his phone knowing he had some time to kill and he needed someone to rant to or else he was going to go crazy. A few minutes later, like the trusty friend he was, Jimin was bursting through the door like he was the Kool Aid man, ready to listen to all of Jungkook’s problems. 

“Ok, who’s ass do I need to kick?” Jimin came in, hands up, ready to fight– which might have been Jungkook’s fault with the ambiguous text he sent to his hyung. Saying “the world’s ending, need help now!” might have been a little too drastic, but it felt appropriate at the moment.

“Mine...” Jungkook groaned, his head was on the desk but he could hear Jimin’s footsteps hurrying over, before taking a seat in the chair in front of his desk. This was routine at this point.

The two of them had been friends for a number of years now. Jimin was two years older than Jungkook and had mainly been friends with his brother at first. But when Junghyeon left, apparently he decided he needed to leave his big brother duties to someone, and he thought who else would be a better fit to watch over him than Park Jimin? Those were Junghyeon’s words when Jungkook first mentioned that he was getting close to his old friend. Jimin occasionally checked up on him when he was still in high school, and their bond grew really strong soon after Jungkook had started college. Jimin became his guide as he navigated adult life and a very real friendship was born from his brother’s efforts. 

When Jimin graduated, it only felt natural for Jungkook to extend an invitation to work at his family’s company, knowing how good of an addition he would be to the team. As of about three and a half years ago, they’ve also been work buddies. 

“So,” Jimin stretched it out. “What is it this time?” He asked when Jungkook still hadn’t said anything. 

Silence followed.

“Is this about Yuri?” Jimin finally questioned, that being the most obvious, considering Jungkook shouldn’t even be in right now.

The younger man nodded. 

Jimin hummed as he thought about it for a second. “Ok, is this another rant about your sex life because I have some—“ 

“No, no, no, well… maybe, yes? I don’t know hyung, I'm just…” All Jungkook could do was sigh, his frustration getting to a boiling point again. 

“I’m guessing with the way you’re acting, things didn’t go as planned…?” Jimin asked wearily, knowing precisely what Jungkook had in store for today. He’d helped Jungkook plan it out. The first thing that was supposed to be on the itinerary was waking Yuri up with a good time. Jimin was the one to suggest it, but the fact he was in a bad mood was enough to let him know things hadn’t gone the way that they’d discussed. 

“The whole plan didn’t happen,” Jungkook lamented as he leaned back in his office chair. He could feel Jimin’s confusion without even having to look at him. “She canceled our whole day because of a friend visiting from the US.” He scowled and saying it out loud made it sound even more unreal. 

Jimin blinked a couple of times, obviously just as confused as he was. “A friend?” 

“It’s something she knew about two days ago before even bringing it up last night. It wasn’t even a full day before our plans!” At least he could’ve gotten a heads-up. He wasn’t sure what that would have done, but at least he could have had more time to cope with the disappointment.  

“What?” Jimin questioned in disbelief. 

“And maybe, maybe I’d get it if today was the only day they could hang out, but she said they’re going to be here for the next two weeks.” Jungkook was getting angry all over again. 

“I’m sorry, what?” Jimin repeated, honestly just baffled. 

“And! And when I asked her why they can’t just hang out the next day, she said it’s because they’re only here for a limited time and that we can just hang out whenever!” It didn’t make any sense that she would say that when Jungkook had to spend days working into the early hours of the morning trying to clear his schedule enough so that they could have some time together.  

“What the fuck…” Jimin looked just as confused as he felt. 

“I know, it’s ridiculous…” He trailed off with a laugh, but the pain from the sudden cancellation made it hard to even pretend this was anywhere near comical.

“Jungkook, I think that’s a lot more than ridiculous…” Jimin tried to reassure, his tone quickly turning sympathetic.

“I know we’re arranged, but I just… I thought being married would be more than this, you know?” He leaned back in his chair. Jungkook simply had dreams for his future and this wasn’t anything he pictured it would look like. 

“And there’s nothing wrong with that. You both agreed to try and she has never given you a reason why she’s practically avoiding you.” Jimin said, recounting the fact this wasn’t even the first time something like this has happened.

“I’m wondering if it’s me. Maybe I’m not doing enough or maybe I’m doing it all wrong? Right? It had to be something I did.” Jungkook tried to rack his brain, thinking of anything he did that might have made Yuri so upset at him.

“I don’t think it’s your fault. You’re trying your best. It doesn’t make sense to me why she did this. It wouldn’t make sense to anyone, but I don’t know… maybe she wants her space.” Jimin suggested, it being the only explanation he could come up with to make sense of her behavior. 

The words sat in the air for a second, a painful second, like the wrong note reverberating at the end of a musical piece. Jimin didn’t notice the shift fast enough before Jungkook suddenly sat up to look at him, and his brows were furrowed like what he said was crazy. 

“Space? We have space all the time, this was the one day I wanted us to be a couple— or at least try and be a couple.” Jungkook chided and Jimin immediately knew he didn’t phrase that in the best way.

“I meant it more so for yourself. I’ve seen and been in enough relationships, situationships, you name it, to know when to back away. Things are obviously going to be even more complicated because you’re in an arranged marriage. I can’t imagine what you’re going through, but maybe taking a step back so you don’t get hurt is something to think about.” Jimin laid it out plainly, but Jungkook maintained his hard expression. If anything, he seemed even more displeased. 

“I have to make this work. I’m obviously not doing what she wants!” Jungkook seethed.

“We have no idea what’s going on. I’m just trying to stop you from getting hurt.” Jimin's gaze filled with sympathy, but Jungkook just seemed to grow more angered as he rolled his eyes at him. 

“Like you would understand— everyone wants to be around you.” Jungkook scoffed, turning away. 

Jimin sat there for a second, dumbfounded, wondering where that came from. 

“What are you talking about?”

“Everyone likes you! Everyone practically flocks to be around you. You have no trouble in relationships– yet I can’t even make the one woman I’m married to at least be comfortable by my side.” Jungkook cried out, and it was here that any anger that was threatening to boil over cooled the minute Jimin saw the wetness in his eyes.

Jimin had only been a bystander for the last few years in Jungkook’s life, but he could hardly comprehend this was the same man he’d been friends with for years now. 

Jungkook had gone from the guy who shied away from relationships, to suddenly being the only married man in his friend group.  

He could never forget the day that Jungkook came to his apartment late one night, it felt like forever ago now. Those were different times; they weren’t the same people anymore. His eyes had been wide and petrified, like he’d just seen a ghost. It practically took the whole night to get it out of him that apparently his parents had made some kind of deal and were basically forcing him to get married to solidify it. 

Jimin could hardly keep up after he’d finally managed to get him to speak, and a lot of it went over his head. To be honest he didn’t believe it even after Jungkook explained it over and over again. It didn’t sound real. Whose parents would make their twenty-two year old son get married without at least talking to him first? It didn’t make sense.

It also didn’t make any sense considering Jimin had been the listening ear to how well their three dates– yes only three dates– went before the engagement.

“They were ok.” Jungkook would sigh, before showing a picture of her and talking about how much he struggled to say anything because of how nervous she made him.  

In the months leading up to the marriage, Jungkook had eventually heard the details of the deal, and that’s when the mood started to shift. Jungkook’s protests grew quieter to the point the wedding day managed to come and go without any intervention. Jimin still didn’t believe it, even as he saw Jungkook stand at the end of the aisle, even as he watched them get pronounced husband and wife, even as he witnessed the contract getting stamped, and even as he helped Jungkook pack to move to their new shared apartment after they came back from their honeymoon.

It didn’t feel real, but Jimin tried to remain as optimistic as Jungkook appeared when he came back.

“We said we’d try.” Jungkook told him with a toothy grin. The honeymoon had been good apparently. 

But that optimism was short-lived and Jimin was forced to sit back and watch as something in his friend shifted. Things weren’t right in the relationship, that much he was sure of. Jungkook had finally said something towards the beginning of the year. It was small things at first, things Jungkook made sound like the typical lovers’ quarrel. But as time passed, it grew more vague, unusual, and desolate. It was never detailed enough for him to get the full picture, but he could see the way Jungkook was practically deteriorating right in front of him.

He had no idea what was going on, but it was moments like this that made his blood boil. Jungkook was normally a closed-off person. He didn’t share his problems with others easily. For him to come to Jimin to talk about his issues in his marriage made him wonder how bad the situation truly was. The alarm bells wouldn’t stop going off in his head. 

“Jungkook, what’s going on?” Jimin sat up and rubbed his friend’s back. Jungkook’s office was dark but when he lifted his head, Jimin could see that the tears had finally started running down his cheeks. 

“Hyung, it’s me right?! I don’t understand why she… w-why she…” He stammered. The words caused the emotions he’d bottled up to spill over, and the tears became uncontrollable. 

“I must be doing everything wrong, right? Am I really that bad? I just… I just wanted to spend some time together. Am I really that bad of a husband?! I try so fucking hard, I swear I do, I just— Hyung I don’t know what else to do…” Jungkook ranted, sounding so dejected. 

Jimin only felt the fire burn harder ​​while his brain worked to try and understand Yuri. He wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt, that there had to be some rational explanation that he just wasn’t seeing that would explain why every chance Jungkook made plans for them to be together, something had to get in the way. The only thing he could see was how much this affected Jungkook, and she was starting to piss him off. 

He got up and went behind Jungkook's desk so he could give him a hug, the younger man only sobbing even harder in his arms. Jimin didn’t say anything, instead ran slow, comforting circles over his back. 

Jimin couldn’t help but think that he needed to talk with Yuri. They weren’t close but hopefully they’ve met on enough occasions that he could have a comfortable conversation with her to at least get her side of the story. It would be the opportunity to try and get the chance to understand what was going on. Maybe then he could actually help Jungkook try and win her over.

The moment was interrupted by the blaring ring of the phone that sat on Jungkook’s desk, letting them know that Secretary Yu was calling. Jungkook quickly tried to wipe his eyes, doing his best to pull himself together, but Jimin stopped him in his tracks, already picking up the phone before he could object. 

“Hi Secretary Yu~” Jimin chirped, putting on that notorious charm that so easily put people at ease. “Yeah it’s Jimin, I’m taking over the phone for this one….. uh huh, right, wait but I thought— ohhhh, really…?… I see….. Yeah, I’ll let him know, he’s right next to me…. Nice talking with you…. bye.” Jimin frowned as soon as he put the phone down. 

“She said we have a meeting we need to go to. Apparently, finance has an emergency that we have to oversee.” His eyes remained trained on Jungkook as he grabbed some tissues, seemingly trying his best to switch back to boss mode. 

“Sorry, I probably look very pathetic right now,” Jungkook sadly chuckled as he wiped his eyes, but Jimin wasn’t having it. 

“Stop calling yourself pathetic. It’s alright. Cry as much as you need to,” Jimin attempted to reassure him when he noticed Jungkook’s lip still quivering. He looked like he was on the verge of another breakdown. “Don’t push yourself, we still have a few minutes before the meeting starts.” He tried to get Jungkook to slow down but he was already up and out of his chair.

“I’m fine… I just really needed that. This will be good, don't worry.” Part of Jungkook wondered if he was trying to convince Jimin or himself. 

He walked over to a mirror. “Are my eyes red?” Jungkook questioned, worried that it looked like he had been crying his eyes out. 

Jimin walked over and shook his head. “Just a little, but no one will notice unless they knew what you were doing.” 

He nodded, affirmed. “Ok, let’s do this.”

With that, Jungkook pushed through the door, passing Secretary Yu’s desk as she got up to join him, along with various higher up employees who had gotten the message about the meeting. 

Secretary Yu pulled out her tablet and moved a little closer. “Director Jeon, I just wanted to quickly give you a better brief of the situation before the meeting starts.”

“Go ahead…” Jungkook’s voice was shaky, but he hoped she didn’t notice.

“Production had encountered an unexpected issue. Good news is that it has been solved already so there’s no need to worry about it. The bad news is that we can’t use any of the inventory they made prior to the fix.” Secretary Yu tried to speak calmly but grimaced when she noticed the change in her boss’s demeanor.  

Jungkook’s eyes widened, and he stopped dead in his tracks. All the executives that were walking behind them came to a sudden halt along with him, making everyone nearly bump into each other. 

“Wait, what?! But production had been running for–” Jungkook didn’t need to finish that, already knowing the answer. It was far too long and their launch date was about a month away. 

This was bad. 

“What was the issue?” 

“I’m not sure yet—“ The ‘what’ didn’t really matter right now, all that meant was this launch was screwed. 

Launches were some of the most important moments of the year. The fact it had been slated for the last quarter of the year, the most important quarter for a company like theirs in turning up profit, they had been counting on it even more than normal. This put everything in jeopardy, particularly anything they had planned for next year. This line had already been delayed to the utmost limit because of numerous other complications so delaying it was almost entirely off the table. 

“Just great huh. Really fucking great. This day can’t get any worse can it—“ And he should have learned that words like that challenge the universe to see what other shit it could throw at you. 

They finally picked up their hurried pace to the meeting room, but right as Jungkook rounded the corner he collided with something hard and suddenly he was cold and soaking wet. Jungkook just stared down, his suit covered in what he could immediately smell was coffee. A sliver of luck for him was that it was iced, but that didn’t stop him from being covered in coffee— he could only imagine the stains on the beige fabric.

Part of him wanted to scream but as his eyes trailed up to see a woman frantically picking up the cup and her scared, apologetic eyes when she realized it was all over him, he found himself unable to speak. Jungkook immediately knew he had never seen you before; he would have remembered you. 

Your red blouse was tucked into your short pencil skirt, which perfectly fitted to your form. Your legs were long as you stood up, accentuated even more by your tall, black stilettos, and Jungkook couldn’t stop the way his eyes ran over the exposed skin. What seemed to hold his attention the most was your vibrant, red lipstick. For a second he was left a little dumbstruck and forgot about the coffee that was everywhere. You were beautiful, ridiculously beautiful, it was almost crazy. For a second he wondered why you were here and not walking down some runway or the face of every brand imaginable. 

He would have noted this a lot more if he didn’t have coffee soaking into his clothes. Right now he just saw you as another problem, making his day that much worse. It was one of his favorite suits too, he wore it to make himself feel a little better about today, but you… 

Things just can’t get any worse.

•────•──────────•────•

This can’t be real. 

It was your first day and all your worst fears seemed to be manifesting. You slept through your alarm, you missed your bus, and your much needed caffeine was all over this handsome stranger— though you really couldn’t say you saw that one coming. The embarrassment you felt creeping onto your cheeks in front of all the people staring at you in the hallway was enough to melt you into a puddle. Worst of all, your supervisor who was walking right next to you saw everything. 

It couldn’t get much worse.

“I’ll clean this up. I’m so sorry! I should have paid more attention to where I was going!” You panicked as you scrambled to find something to help fix this. You looked to your supervisor, but he seemed even more distressed than you for some reason. 

You finally turned back to the stranger and his gaze met your own for a brief moment. His eyes were wide and looked almost like a kicked puppy at how much sadness filled them for a split second. It really was only a second before you noticed the more expected glare of annoyance. 

“Just,” He sighed. “Clean this up, okay? Director Son, please tell the team I’ll be a bit late. Hyung, can you…?” Jimin quickly nodded before speeding away. 

Jungkook just walked past them, not bothering to acknowledge anyone any further. In truth, he was a second away from bursting into tears again, but they didn’t need to know that. Instead, he just hurried off to the bathroom and waited for Jimin to bring the spare suit he kept for emergencies such as these. 

It seemed things could get worse.

Your eyes were wide as you watched him swiftly walk past you, not even bothering to look at you. You knew he had every right to be upset, but he was a bit rude. It was clearly an accident and he didn’t even give you time to apologize properly. 

“Yah, what’s up with that guy?” You mumbled. His annoyance had been a disease and it was quickly spreading.

“That guy?! Y/n do you know what you just did?!” Your new boss was clearly exasperated and that just made you a little confused. It was then you noticed everyone who was still in the hallway had their eyes on you, their hands were over their mouths, and they all had this look of horror on their faces like you had just committed the worst crime imaginable. 

“Who was that…?” You finally questioned, your heart already beating out of your chest.

“I swear you’re going to get us both fired and you only just got here. I swear…” Director Son rubbed his temples and cursed silently to himself, a look of worry speedily etched its way into his features. 

“Director Son, what did I just do?” You asked, growing even more anxious. He finally turned to face you. 

“Y/n, that was Jeon Jungkook.”

You still looked confused and this made him laugh— a worried, nervous laugh that made you know you had royally fucked up.

“You just spilled coffee all over the CEO’s son.” He put it plainly. It was only then that the pieces of the puzzle came together and started to make sense. 

What….have…you……done?

“That’s my boss, your boss, everyone who works on this floor’s boss.” The words only seemed to set the reality into both of you. 

“We’re going to have to pray. Get on our hands and knees, beg for forgiveness, and hope he doesn’t fire us or tell his father.” Suddenly, Director Son sprinted to the office area and returned with a bunch of napkins. 

“We have to see him in the meeting too. What am I going to do?” Director Son said with apprehension, throwing his hands up in the air. He already had so much bad news to deliver and now his newest employee had spilled coffee all over his boss. 

He was fired for sure. 

You hurriedly went to help him start cleaning up the coffee, but you were barely paying attention. You were just dazed because, at this point, you were convinced you were about to get fired on your first day. 

Suddenly, someone else was coming up beside you. “What a great entrance, huh?” A deep voice chuckled as he put more napkins on the ground. 

“It’s only my first day and I’m already ruining everything.” You huffed, getting the feeling you wouldn’t be here much longer. 

“You have to admit it was pretty funny~” 

You stopped. “No, it wasn’t. Do you know how humiliating that was?!” You finally turned to see yet another handsome stranger, but this time this guy had a warm, welcoming, boxy smile on his face. 

“I do, but it made my day better. Nice to meet you, I’m Kim Taehyung!” He stretched out his hand. 

You smiled weakly, feeling better that someone could laugh about this. “I’m Y/n. Nice to meet you Taehyung.” You said as you quickly shook his hand.

•────•──────────•────•

Jimin burst through the doors, emergency suit already in hand.

“You alright?” Jimin questioned as he set the suit on the counter. 

Jungkook turned toward him, clearly teary-eyed. He shook his head. “I just want to go home.” He tried to laugh as he started unbuttoning his shirt. He would have been better off not coming in today.

“Maybe you should. Today just doesn’t seem to be your day, huh?” Jimin tried to joke and smiled when he saw Jungkook chuckle. 

“I have meetings later though. I have to stay till then.” He just sighed. Jungkook had already felt guilty about leaving and hardly being at work today because of his plans with Yuri, but going home right now seemed selfish considering the dire situation. He didn’t want people to think he was running away and leaving them to deal with this mess alone. It’s not like he had anyone waiting for him back home anyway. There was no need to rush anymore.

Jungkook spent most of his time at the office more than at home. He wanted to show that he was working hard, it was something he knew was essential to gaining everyone’s trust. Since he was still pretty young, people often doubted his leadership, but he earned his spot in the company just like everyone else did. Jungkook had been working here since he was nineteen, interned even longer, and started off at the bottom like everyone else. He didn’t want to be the spoiled, rich kid inheriting the company simply because his father is the CEO. He wanted to make sure that by the time he became CEO he would have built up the same respect that the rest of the employees held for his dad. 

As a result, leaving earlier or taking days off was something he tried to steer clear of as much as possible, but today… things just weren’t working out. He feared that being here any longer might make him explode. 

Once they figure out this whole situation, he’ll immediately go home after his last two meetings are over. Right, that was the smart thing to do. He couldn’t risk having a breakdown in front of everyone. 

“Hyung…” Jungkook said suddenly after he managed to get his pants up. Jimin hummed. “Thanks for being here with me.” His voice wavered slightly.

“Of course, I’ll always be here when you need me.” Jimin said softly. Jungkook was extra sensitive today. He usually was able to reserve the waterworks for sad movies or when he was alone in the apartment, but today he couldn’t seem to keep his emotions at bay. 

When they both came out of the bathroom, Jungkook and Jimin hurried to the meeting room ready to assess the current crisis at hand. Everyone was already in their seats when they walked in, and upon seeing Jungkook, they scrambled out their chairs to stand up and bow. 

Jungkook took a seat at the head of the table and Jimin in the seat to his left. Director Son was already standing at the pedestal in the corner of the room with a gloomy expression practically carved into his features. This was probably even worse than what he was told, judging by the solemn tone of the room. 

He was antsy to hear just how bad it was, and was about to tell Director Son to continue, when he spotted you at the end of the table. 

“Director Son,” Jungkook said, curiosity peaking. He knew pretty much everyone who worked on this floor, but you were definitely not familiar. 

“Who’s she?” He pointed directly at you, making your attention turn toward him. 

Director Son scrambled from behind the pedestal, realizing he had forgotten to introduce you because of the incident earlier. 

“My apologies, sir.” Director Son addressed Jungkook before turning towards you and motioning for you to stand. You quickly bounced on your heels, not wanting to piss him off even more. If Jungkook didn’t fire you, surely he would. 

“Everyone, this is L/n Y/n. She’s our newest member of our financial team. It’s her first day here.” Everyone gave you strange looks as most people here at this table had witnessed the incident earlier.

It’s like you made the worst first impression you possibly could have. 

The silence was deafening as everyone stared; you were tempted to run away, fake your death, get a new identity, and attempt to start your life over knowing things couldn’t get much worse than this. It took a moment, but eventually Taehyung, who sat right beside you, started clapping— slowly but surely everyone joined him. You looked down and smiled, mouthing him a thank you before you sat down. 

Your eyes flickered over to Jungkook who was still staring at you. Your skin warmed as his gaze bored into you. 

“Thank you, you may begin.” Jungkook finally said, leaning back in his chair. 

A new line of products was supposed to be released shortly before the holiday season— namely a new line of TVs that had already been delayed multiple times, all for various reasons during development. They had been forced to push the date back as far as possible, right to the point before there would start to be major repercussions. Production had promised that they would be able to meet this new date, and production began a few weeks ago. Jungkook had thought the most troubling stage was over and the only thing that was left was handling this launch with the marketing team now. But a malfunction that was only realized this morning had been noticed, and all of the inventory they had managed to produce before today was completely unusable.  

To make matters worse, the date they needed to have everything shipped out by was too close to have the now scarce inventory hit even the low range of their planned profit margin. It was a disaster and after Director Son explained the issue, Jungkook was ready to pull out his hair. Of course this had to happen today, of all the fucking days everything just had to go wrong. He couldn’t even think straight as everyone around the table started suggesting ideas, too busy trying to pull himself out of the funk that made him practically useless. He was convinced he was cursed, that had to be it because how does this all happen in one day?

This fuck up jeopardized everything— it was their biggest source of profit for the year and they thought they’d be able to make up for all the delays by having it at such an important part of the year. They already decided to invest extra in advertising to help boost sales far beyond what they’d traditionally expect. Now without the numbers they had planned for, the profit they had wanted to reach was virtually impossible. This was detrimental to next quarters budget and especially the following year. Any plans, projects, anything they had planned was now at risk, and— 

The meeting ended up going on for quite a while. Everyone panicked as they tried brainstorming ideas that could be used to rectify the situation: 

Some suggested seeing if they could push the launch back, but at this point that was even more disastrous than just releasing whatever they can manage to get done. Others suggested that this fell on production and that they should use intimidation to try and make the numbers get as close to what was planned. Jungkook normally was against ideas like that, but it was mind boggling how poorly these products had been handled so far. He had already been planning to meet with the executives over at the factories to figure out who he needed to hold liable for this. Others went on about distribution, how their department who handled Seoul, should be prioritized and that they should focus on the bigger stores, such as malls, in order to hopefully increase the chances of selling everything they could to at least get the highest profit they can. It went on and on. Another radical suggestion was increasing the price of the line of TVs to try and force a similar profit margin.  

People just kept going and going and Jungkook was ready to bang his head against the table to hopefully get himself to wake up from this nightmare. Everyone was so loud as they bickered and fought that their way was better, and he tried his best to suppress wanting to just scream for them to just shut up and walk away from the situation all together. He was overwhelmed and it was even worse that he felt unhelpful, all efforts went to keeping himself firmly planted in his chair and not letting the tears spill over again.

What ended up surprising him was that it was you who came up with the best solution. In between all the nonsense, you were also very vocal during the meeting. You were knowledgeable as you spoke, asking questions any time you could and also giving your two-sense on the suggestions the rest of the team kept spewing out. Most of your takes he found himself easily agreeing with as you countered how none of those ideas worked. If Jungkook hadn’t encountered you before, he wouldn’t have guessed you were the same clumsy woman who spilled coffee on him earlier today. It was absolutely shocking considering the fact that today was your first day and you had only been briefly filled in on the situation. 

Eventually though you had given your own opinion and one that stood out from the masses.

“Do nothing.” You had put it so simply. You argued that there was nothing that could be done and instead that they should just send out the inventory they created after today, though less of it, as planned and capitalize on the opportunity to create even more demand for the line. If production could get their shit together and deliver the product as promised, plus with the added reputation of the company, they should certainly sell, and sell quickly. While this would not prove fruitful immediately, during the time they would work on getting the next shipment together, this would create a demand that would hopefully be able to make up for any losses encountered during the launch.  

It wasn’t the best considering what they had thought this new launch would bring, but it was the best idea he heard all afternoon, and the one he ultimately picked they should explore further. The team first had to crunch the numbers to make sure they could afford that type of risk, but at the moment, waiting, letting the scarcity create demand, and gently still pushing the production team to try and get the inventory as high as possible, was what he sent everyone away with in mind.  

Jungkook wanted to hate you, you had basically ruined his favorite suit, but seeing you in this meeting had him momentarily forgetting about the incident in the hallway. He never really considered firing you. Despite being incredibly petty about the suit, he didn’t want to take his anger out on you or Director Son. This meeting just made him realize how great of an addition you would likely be for the team. If this was your first day and you had already managed to help work out a crisis, he could only imagine what you would do for the team’s future. 

But today just wasn’t the day he could forgive you completely. 

Thanks to you he was able to go home around the time he had planned. Since the entire financial team was there, they were quickly able to cover the points of their original meeting that was scheduled, and he ran off directly afterward to meet with Director Cho in his office for a discussion about marketing. It was still in the afternoon by the time he got back to the apartment. Part of him hoped he would find Yuri waiting for him with open arms, and they would leave together to start their day as he had planned. 

It was wishful thinking, but that didn’t stop the disappointment from burning his heart when he came back to find it exactly how he had expected.

Empty.

Jungkook sighed and kicked off his shoes. Today was horrible. 

He was about to head straight for the beer they kept in the fridge, but the various ingredients he found inside gave him an idea. If he didn’t try at all, how would he ever make this work? As much as Yuri hurt his feelings, he would still put on a happy face and be a good husband. 

He got straight to work, tying up his apron and rolling up his sleeves. 

Jungkook first contemplated what should make, and he decided pretty quickly once he double-checked what they had. Then he moved on to pulling out all the ingredients and putting them onto the counter. 

He wasn’t a master chef or anything, Jungkook had hardly cooked for himself his entire life— his parents always had a chef to prepare their meals. It was when he moved out that he realized how much he enjoyed it. It wasn’t too often that he cooked, but when he did, it always brought him so much satisfaction knowing he made it. Not to brag, but despite his lack of experience, Jungkook could easily follow a recipe and turn out with something pretty decent at the end. 

He decided to go with gimbap— it was relatively easy to make and increased his chances of not messing it up. By the time he had the rolls cut and ready on the plate, the sun had gone down.

Jungkook smiled as he looked at his creation. It was a little misshapen and the ingredients were spilling out from the sides, but he had high hopes on how it’d taste; he’d thrown in all of his favorite ingredients. It was cute and showed it was made by his own hands. He hoped this would be enough for them to at least spend a little time together when she got home. 

He sent her a quick text telling her about a ‘little surprise’ waiting for her at the apartment and to hurry home as soon as she could. He even added a heart at the end, a sign of peace, so they could put what the day could have been behind them and move on to shaping what they could make of it now.

Jungkook let out a satisfied sigh before taking off his apron, grabbing one of the nicer containers they owned, placing the food inside, and setting it on the dining table ready to be eaten whenever Yuri came back. 

He hoped this would be enough to get her to come home soon. 

He changed into more relaxing clothes and headed straight to the couch, deciding to continue that show he had started a little while back. He hadn’t planned to be here long; for some reason, he pictured Yuri bursting through the doors at any second, but he should have known he would end up disappointed yet again.

After more time passed, Jungkook eventually pulled out his ice cream and the beer he’d promised himself not to go for. 

He was depressed. It was worse than when he was in his office earlier. He wanted home to be his escape from the day he had, but it only made the problem worse just like he feared. All he could do was drown out his darkening thoughts with comfort cream and beer. 

Even more time passed by and there was still no Yuri. At this point, Jungkook had to call Jimin knowing he couldn’t be alone right now. He was on the verge of another breakdown. 

True to his nature, his hyung was at their apartment in no time. 

Jimin’s face fell the minute Jungkook opened the door. His friend looked even worse than when he left the office, his eyes were lifeless behind the smile he tried to show. It hurt even worse when he noticed the uneaten dinner on the dining table. He could see Jungkook had pulled out all the fancy candles, plates, and silverware, but they remained untouched; clearly, he was waiting. 

“Sorry I called you so late… I just didn't want to be alone right now.” It was more than that, and Jimin knew it. 

In truth, the thoughts that seemed to keep echoing in his head worried him. Not even his favorite movie could take his attention away from the harsh realization of what he was facing right now. He knew not even Yuri coming home at that very moment would solve everything. He just needed someone to talk to, someone to distract him from his thoughts.

Jimin pulled him into a hug before guiding them inside. They both ended up sharing a few beers together, Jungkook venting nearly the entire time. It was good and played as the much needed therapy he wanted. 

It was well into the night that after a few crying sessions and more beers, Jungkook was tipsy and better enough to send Jimin away. 

It was late, really, really late. 

He sent a few more texts to Yuri, now starting to get worried. None of them were answered.

The only thing that kept him sane was the fact that this wasn’t the first time it’s happened. She’d ghosted him before, leading Jungkook to nearly have a panic attack before she came back, claiming her phone had died. He just hoped maybe that’s what happened today. 

More time passed by and his eyes started getting heavy as he continued to stare at his TV. He probably would have fallen asleep if it wasn’t for the sound of beeps from someone putting in the passcode for the door. 

Jungkook sprung off of the couch as the door opened to reveal the girl he’d been wanting to see the entire day. Yuri slowly closed the door behind her, probably thinking he was asleep. All the lights were off except for the TV. 

“Yuri?” He asked hesitantly, a bit scared he was dreaming. 

She quickly turned around as soon as she heard his voice. 

Part of him was tempted to yell, even scream at her for abandoning him the way she did, but he was in no mood to pick a fight. Instead, he steadily waddled over to the front door where she was standing, careful not to bump into any furniture but the room had started to spin.

Jungkook was a bit stunned when he noticed her outfit. It was dark, but he could still see she was wearing this short, little red dress that seemed to sparkle even in the darkness. He had a feeling that she and this mysterious “friend from the US” had probably gone out to a club. He didn’t even feel like interrogating her. Nope, instead he finally made his way over, wrapped his arms around her frame, buried his face into her shoulder, and bathed in her warmth. 

Maybe he was a little more than tipsy…

“Missed you so much…” he whispered quietly into her skin as he placed gentle kisses on her shoulder, the slur in his words even noticeable to his ears. 

Jungkook felt her arms wrap around his neck, pulling him closer, a wave of excitement that he’d been missing all day washed over him. 

“Did you really?” She lulled like a siren’s song, leading him down a path to forget everything that happened. He wanted to say something, but being drunk left him unable to form any cohesive thoughts to convey his feelings; the hurt he felt being abandoned, how much had he wished he spent this entire day running around Seoul with her by his side, how much had he hoped she would just come home so they could, at the very least, share a meal together. All of these moments, memories, time, and energy wasted.

But he didn’t want to turn this into another fight, instead he just nodded into her skin. “So fucking much.” It was a little more crude than the romantic declaration he was going for, but it didn’t matter. He meant what he said, he really did miss her. 

Yuri hummed lightly into his ear, and he couldn't stop himself from pressing her against the wall, pulling back slightly so they were eye to eye, and resting his forehead against hers. Her presence was intoxicating, in a way that made all the worries so easily wash away. He was supposed to be mad, he had every right to be, but for some reason that didn’t stop his hand from coming up and his thumb gently caressing her cheek; so soft and warm.

He was definitely more than a little drunk at this point. Not to the point he was confused where he was, but he was faded enough to be wobbly on his feet, and the liquid courage was certainly flowing through his system to make him bolder than usual.

A moment passed, one that if he was more sober, he would have thought through more. Did he want this? Should he turn back? But whatever he felt in the past, it didn’t really matter anymore. His wife was here now, he should be happy. 

If he was questioning it anymore, the look in her eyes was enough for that seesaw to finally land. It was sultry, like she wanted him to forget and he wanted to as well. 

Jungkook felt the rush surge faster than any rational thought could stop, his lips were on hers in a haste to finally feel her. It was slow at first, Jungkook wanting her to know just how much he wanted her to be here with him. It made him feel so warm, the affection he’d been craving for all day was finally happening.

He couldn’t stop himself from pushing her further into the door and picking up the pace. It all happened so fast.

Suddenly his tongue was down her throat, he could taste the sweet alcohol she had probably drank, and with the fleeting reminder of the dress she was wearing as his hands ran up her thighs, an odd sense of possessiveness came over him. He had no idea who she was with, if this “friend from the US” even existed, but he had the odd feeling of making her remember exactly who she was to him. She was his wife, everyone, everywhere should know that. 

Jungkook hastily picked her up and put her on the kitchen counter that was closest to him. His hands roamed her sides, tracing every curve with a hunger and need that saw no end. Soft sighs of pleasure fell from her lips as his hips steadily rocked into hers, and he relished in any sound he was able to draw out of her. All he wanted to do was make her feel good, that’s all he ever wanted. Her hands gripped his shirt tightly and he wished for nothing more than for her to rip it off of him. His skin burned and pleaded for more. As much as he enjoyed kissing her like this, this wasn’t enough.

He couldn’t wait anymore. He picked her up again and led them over to their shared bedroom, he didn’t even bother turning on the lights as he gently laid her on their bed. Jungkook quickly slotted himself between her thighs and dived straight back to her lips. 

His mind felt fuzzy, maybe it was just because he was more drunk than what he thought, but as he ground himself into her clothed core, the sudden realization of everything hit him hard. 

They haven’t had sex in months, literal months since the last time he felt the warmth of her walls around him. They’ve done other things, but full-blown sex…

“Yuri… please….” He cried as his hand traveled under her dress to hover over her panties. Yuri quickly nodded and that was all he needed to lose his mind. 

He pulled her dress up and moved down so he was staring at her clothed core. 

He quickly pulled her panties down her legs before his face was buried between her thighs, and he was diving in for his rightful meal. Jungkook was good, using his tongue to work her clit and he had two fingers buried deep inside her, all the while he was practically fucking the mattress in a haste for any kind of friction. 

When he said they hadn’t had sex it was more so that Jungkook hadn’t been touched in months. Jungkook was a good husband, always there to take care of his wife when she wanted him. But she never let him take things further. This was just another running problem in their marriage. His sex life was pretty much nonexistent. He never wanted to be that guy, and especially with the fact that their marriage was relatively new and they were still getting to know each other, he knew sex was going to be a tricky subject. 

There were clear boundaries set, and he was okay with taking things slow right now, but does it leave him frustrated sometimes? Yes, extremely. 

The amount of times Jungkook has done this for her, he knew her patterns and how to get her cumming on his tongue in no time. Her moans and pleas were all music to his ears, knowing he was doing something right for once. 

By the time he pulled away, Jungkook was hardly keeping it together. He practically ripped off his shirt and pants, tossing them off the bed somewhere into the abyss of the darkness. 

When he turned back to her, he was practically drooling at how fucked out she looked; Yuri’s hair cascaded around her, reminding him of the angel she looked like on their wedding day, and her dress was pushed up to her thighs and the straps were brought down revealing her tits. 

Oh fuck. Now, now, now. 

Jungkook hurriedly kissed her, before reaching over to his nightstand, and opening the drawer to grab a condom. The box wasn’t right there so his hand had to search and feel his way around— it didn’t take long, but it was too long in his desperation when he was finally pulling one out.  

“Jungkook, wait… what are you doing?” Yuri asked once he finally managed to pull one out of the box. 

He looked at her hoping this didn’t mean what he thought it did. He kissed her again and buried himself into her shoulder. “Baby please… wanna feel you…” he pleaded, grinding slowly into her heat. A moan fell from his lips, the friction was desperately needed. He would take anything at this point. 

“Been so long… I missed you.” It was bad. His body was crying out for something, and he wanted Yuri to give him just that. It was starting to hurt. 

“But it’s late, Jungkook. I’m tired.” Yuri sighed, making his heart drop. 

“But…but…” he mumbled. He moved so he could see her face and he could immediately tell she wasn’t joking. 

“It’s fine, I promise I’ll be quick. You worked me up so much, just—“ 

“Jungkook, not tonight, okay?” She grumbled, clearly done with the moment they shared. This is what happens all the time. He didn’t know why he thought it was going to be different considering the occasion, but that didn’t stop him from feeling a bit disappointed. 

Jungkook just sighed and rolled off of her. His skin burned with need and he knew he had to do something. It hurt, it had been so fucking long.

He tried not to be mad but he was. He hurriedly got up from the bed. 

“I’m going to take a shower… a very long shower.” He huffed.

“Jungkook you better not do that shit in our—“ was the last thing he heard before he slammed the door. 

He tried to be calm; he didn’t want to get mad over something like this. The marriage was still new, there were going to be hurdles. It happens. 

Today had just been terrible. All the emotions he had tried his best to suppress were coming out; he was angry, he was depressed, he was frustrated. There hadn’t been one moment that he felt like things were okay, today had been just as horrible as he thought it would be and then some since he woke up this morning.

All he wanted was some type of relief. 

He quickly turned on the shower to hopefully stop her from hearing him, and got to work pleasing his body in the only way he could. His hand covered his mouth while the other traveled down his body, finally grabbing a hold of himself. 

He thought about how today would have turned out if it went the way he wanted. Jungkook would have woken his wife up with every affirmation of how much he loved her, how happy she’d made him since they got married, as he showered her with all the praise his mushy heart would come up with in that moment. 

Jungkook wouldn’t have wanted to leave her that morning, but duty calls and with the taste of her still on his tongue he would have gone to work. It was hard to be apart for those few hours. He would have struggled to keep his eyes off his phone as she cutely texted and pleaded for him to be home soon because she missed him so much.

The minute he would have returned Jungkook could hardly get inside before she was tackling him with kisses. She would have been already dressed for their day out, wearing that pretty off-the-shoulder dress with flowers all over it, knowing how much that one drives him crazy. But none of that mattered because the dress was hitting the floor before he could close the door behind him.

Another moment of passion and love as they did it right there on the floor. Jungkook would have been enthralled by her warmth and her love. She would have let her heart’s declarations spill from her mouth continuously as he held her in his arms; that she wanted him here, that she cared for him just as much as he did for her. 

Then they were finally able to pull away from each other. It was just long enough that Jungkook could whisk her around Seoul to all the destinations he’d planned to take her. They’ve both lived in Seoul for most of their lives but Jungkook made sure to pick obscure but momentous places around the city that he was sure she’d enjoy:

 A jazz lounge for a late lunch, he’d seen videos of the band that played there and he knew it would have been perfect to have in the background as they conversed. He also planned to take her to the mall– one of her favorite spots to go with her friends. He hoped to share some of that excitement and treat her to whatever she stumbled across that day, showing his wife just how much she means to him. He had pictured holding the bags while she dragged him along to wherever she wanted to go, sitting down for hours as she tried out dresses and him struggling to convey that he really meant it when he said she looked beautiful in whatever she put on. There was so much more, a day full of wonders, kisses, hugs. But the night would have ended with a nice, romantic walk by Han River, enjoying the sights and scenery in the cool September air. They would have hopefully gotten the chance to stop by this dessert place Secretary Yu told him about that she promised Yuri would love. Maybe they would have kept walking as they ate and talked their hearts out. Jungkook had practiced all these cheesy lines he hoped she would have liked, at least laugh at, anything to see her smile. 

It would have been magical and when they would have made it back to the apartment, they would’ve immediately gone back to the room to end the night with a bang. She would have felt so good, he knew she would. He probably would have lost his mind just having his wife close and by his side. His heart would have melted every time she would look into his eyes. Her hands on him, pleading, pleading for him to make her feel good. 

No, maybe… maybe even in this reality, the one where he had a horrible day, even then it would have been so nice to be with her. That’s all he wanted.

He whined and whimpered as his thumb traced along the tip, precum leaking profusely. His hand made quick work of its strokes, hastily trying to chase the pleasure he’d been denied of the whole day. 

He had to resist the urge to scream when he ended up spilling all over his hand, stomach, and thighs. It had been way too long. 

Jungkook ended up in the shower not too long after, the water cool against his skin to keep the burning desire for more at bay. Instead, he just thought about his day, how shitty it was. 

Like of all days, he got coffee spilled all over him? It sounded like something out of a sitcom.

But you… 

Suddenly he thought back to you, your long legs and red lipstick. You were definitely one of his saving graces. Without you, he would have been stuck worrying about this launch. That wasn’t completely alleviated, but the team had texted throughout the day that your method had looked promising, and especially considering what they already invested into advertising, the wave of demand would hopefully nearly double by the time the next shipment rolled out. Though it wasn’t going to be exactly the profit they had expected to bring in from this quarter, this method should hopefully in the long run make up for the botched launch.

Without you he might have still been at the office, the teams and him trying his best to come up with some sort of solution in dealing with the consequences and ramifications of such an unexpected fuck up. It was still odd that it had been weeks since production started, and they had only noticed this malfunction now…  

He needed to head down to the factories and see for himself what exactly happened, but he already had a few names in mind of people who might not be here for much longer.

But he wouldn’t worry about that now, instead his mind drifted back to you during the meeting today.

He already knew working with you was going to be interesting, and despite the rough start, he was looking forward to seeing where you might go. 

[marxo-fm]

Mild Sweet

✯ Joel Miller x f!reader

Summary: Your dad hosts a welcoming party for a good friend who’s coming back from Seattle after quite some time. BBQs, drinks, dancing, and a good ol' time. Until you realize the friend, is your secret crush. A silly little crush that turned into something more, but you've kept it a secret most of the time. What happens when you two rekindle and talk, and that secret is unable to be kept in for any longer?

Warnings: MDNI+18, mentions of adult themes and language, mentions of alcohol and swearing, smut with slight plot, afab!reader age gap (reader-late twenties, Joel-early forties), praising, pet names, no use of y/n, fingering, talking you through it, oral!f-receiving, fear of getting caught, no descriptions of race/ethnicity, skin color, hair type/length, or body type.

Words: 1.8k

A/N: Long awaited, I apologize, but I hope that with this fic--you can forgive me. Life has been hectic, but I am on break finally, so I chose to use this time to feed my deprived peeps. I hope you all enjoy reading this, just as much as I enjoyed writing this. Thank you!

Update: This has been sitting in my drafts since the dawn of time, I’m not on break anymore, I GRADUATED, I have all the free time now. Just wanted to clarify if I go missing again, it’s going to be because of college. That’s all, thank you, you may continue. -if this is bad, I’m sorry, this was from months ago. Go easy on meeeee.

—

“Well yeah hun, I sure am hosting a barbecue party. I don’t care if it’s damn near hot enough for my skin to fall off, I am going to host it.” Protested your dad as he chugged his second can of beer. He won’t tell you further details, which confused you since you had every right to know. Not only because you’re his daughter, but because you’d like to know who the hell this mystery friend is that your father keeps talking about. Says it’s to be kept a surprise until he finally makes it to San Antonio. Which, by the way, you don’t even know when that’ll be either.

“Is this barbecue party even going to happen? Or are you just going to pass it off to someone else in this neighborhood?” The two of you stood eye to eye in the agonizing heat of Texas. Hell, you’re used to it, but it sure did make you frustrated. The humidity didn’t help either. Flies were everywhere and yellow grass that used to be bright green surrounded your home, it used to be a shade of green similar to a green highlighter—in spring that was. You look at the grass and back at your dad, who left the conversation and went to his truck. He opens the passenger seat and shouts, “Get your butt in here, we gotta get the supplies ready for this damn barbecue!” His country accent cuts through sharper than any knife.

It’s hard to take him seriously sometimes.

--

“Remember when you told me you didn’t need my help?” 

Your dad looks at you with an eyebrow raised and back at the road.

“Kid, don’t make me rethink my choice now. I only said that because sometimes your ol’ man likes to do things his way. Cause’ you see, back in my day-” 

“Back in my day, my daddy made me do all the hard work. Dad, I’ve heard this story many times growing up, I know.” You mocked, chuckling a little under your breath carefully trying to not chuckle too hard. 

“Well, in that case, you’re right. But I’ll let you in on a little secret.” Your eyes widen in surprise, carefully leaning over the console of your dad’s truck. What could this darn secret be?

“Remember my good ol’ friend, Joel Miller? That good-looking pal who’s just a few years younger than me? Well, he went over to Seattle with his kid, Sarah. Ya know, family bonding time and whatnot.” Your dad lost his focus looking at his rearview mirror and blindspots before turning left, then continued, “Fortunately, he’s coming back to San Antonio and I’m throwing this barbecue party to welcome him. I’m sure he’d love it, his kid too, and well of course–all of our friends included.”

Joel Miller. A name that went through your head a million times. Over and over.

A man you have had a long and forbidden crush for, a feeling that grew intense over time.

The feelings died down for a bit when he was gone for God knows how long, but they came back. And you don’t know how to feel about it.

--

“Okay, everything’s ready y’all just gotta set em’ up now. We don’t have much time.” Instructed your dad to his fellow friends and a few relatives. Other relatives were far too busy for the welcoming party. Out of all the other days your dad chooses to throw this party, it just has to be on a Sunday.

A few of your dad’s friends were preparing the meats, Joel was going to be here any minute now, and you grew hot. Unsure whether it was this agonizing heat of San Antonio, or if it was just you. Something about the way he walks, talks, looks, is what gets your gears moving. His gray hair, his voice, his body. Hell, at this point you’d rather have Joel for dinner rather than that damn barbecue. But you swore to keep yourself sane and still, especially in front of your dad. He’d surely laugh if he found out about your crush towards Joel, then switch to being confused…and finally, angry.

What the fuck is wrong with me?

Your dad walks up to you, handing you an apron. What in God’s earth is he making me do? Surely he wouldn’t make you prepare meats and have you cook them, after all, you just want to impress and look good for Joel. You bought an entirely new dress just for this damn welcoming party, hoping to somewhat catch his attention.

A short and light purple dress that reveals just enough.

God, this is pathetic. Dressing all pretty for man who wouldn’t even bat an eye at his good friend’s daughter. Or maybe, if you’re lucky enough, he might. You still have to greet him, so yes, you’re going to talk to him. It’s to respect him and it’s common sense since well—it is a welcoming party…

“He should be here any minute now hun, just put this apron on and go help out.”

“Do I have to? I mean, your nieces and nephews are over there sitting doing nothing. I’d rather prepare the table.”

Your dad looks over at your cousins then back at the table you insisted on doing. The table didn’t have any plates on it, nor did it have decorations.

“You’re right, the table does need some…stuff on it.”

You walk on over to prepare the table, when you a truck pull up from behind the fences of your backyard. That’s when you feel yourself sweating gallons and breathing heavier. You thought maybe it was just a neighbor, but you were proven wrong.

Joel Miller is here.

—

“Dad, Joel is here. I think.” Your dad looks at your in a state of shock, only because everything hasn’t been prepared yet and well, everyone is supposed to be hiding to surprise Joel.

“Y’all needa hide, Joel’s here. Drop everything and hide somewhere before he sees us!” Everyone—including yourself—go in hiding. You choose to hide under the table you were planning on finishing work at. Y’know, decorating it and all. But you were too late. You see everyone smiling or giggling in excitement, ready to surprise Joel. He hasn’t been in Texas for God knows how long; would you blame him?

You hear footsteps inching closer and closer, and that's when you hear him say, "anyone here?"

You and everyone else jump out from your hiding places, the word surprise didn't leave your mouth, your jaw just hung open instead.

He changed, looks more grunt than usual, but also happy because of the welcoming party. It irked you, but you ignored it.

The black shirt he wore fit nicely on his body, he must've worked out or something, his shoulders are broad. It gave you something to think about, and your face reddens. He finally looks at you, Joel was more focused on your face rather than your dress. He did acknowledge it, though, but...you looked different. Not in a bad way, just different. It must be the makeup style you chose to wear, or the purple dress that radiated your face. Either way, his look had you holding on to the table harder.

"Been so long pal, c'mere." People shared awkward glances, but it went away when Joel hugged your dad. They shared it for quite some time, but it was needed.

"m' I really this important that you threw a welcoming party?"

Your dad smiles, "sure is Joel, been so long ain't nothing for me to do other than drink my beers alone without ya. But you're finally here." He pats your dad on the shoulder with a smile, continuing their small talk before Joel greets the others.

--

You wondered why Joel hasn't greeted you yet, you felt as if you maybe did something wrong. Surely not, you scoff, as if he was here for anything like that. You don't know, but your head kept pestering you about it. His daughter is at a table full of friends and cousins, "at least his daughter greeted me." You innocently whispered under your breath, unaware that Joel heard you just across the table. You sat by your dad, so Joel heard it, but was already making plans to greet you some other way. You just had no clue yet.

You catch him eyeing your dress, and he notices you looking. You quickly shy away, but he chuckles and goes back to eating his food. Lust and heat pumped through your veins, and your heart was beating a hundred beats per minute. At any rate now, you're sure you'd have a heart attack.

He wasn't even doing anything. All he did was look at your outfit.

You did a good job at catching his attention, but the tension was far too much. The sexual tension. Did he feel the same? Or was he innocently looking? You look up to see him manspreading from the fulfilling dinner he just ate, his shirt raised a little. You could see his tanned skin just above his belt. Unsure of what the hell that made you feel just now. Joel still craved something deep down, dessert, more specifically.

"Hey dad, may you excuse me for a minute. I need to use the restroom." He nodded and you hurriedly scurried off inside your house. Closing the door behind you shut, and you quickly catch your breath.

Everything intensified, everything from top to bottom. The heat between your legs, you're sure your underwear is soaked.

He didn't even do anything.

--

You locked yourself in the restroom. sort of trying to recollect yourself after your encounter. But what the hell were you even thinking? Where was the respect? No hugs, not a thank you, or even a hello?!

You were interrupted suddenly by a knock on the door. "It's occupied!" You respond.

Another knock.

"I thought I told you that this restroom is occupied?" You grew frustrated. One more knock and it sent you over the edge.

"What the hell do you not understand?"

"It's Joel, open the damn door." He ordered. His voice was huskier, angry and needy almost. Your heart pounds and you began to question your dignity.

"C'mon sweet cakes, open the door." You had no choice, knowing Joel, he'd continue with his knocks and the continuous, "let me in."

"Okay," you sighed, "I'll let you in, just gimme a moment."

There wasn't a word behind the door, just silence.

Deep breaths in and deep breaths out, you finally walk to the door and open it.

Joel greeted you with the hungriest kiss known to mankind. Like a predator to his prey. He shut the door behind him and managed to find a way to lock it. His hand immediately grabs the back of your neck, gripping your hair tight to get a better hold of you. All you felt was his mouth on yours, all thoughts gone. Out the window.

You struggled to breathe but your hands find their way on his broad shoulders, you held his shoulder tight to keep you from falling. Knees are weak and dignities are gone.

His tongue goes in deeper, and you do the same with yours, the sound of kisses filled the silence in the bathroom, but you didn't care. It was like a dream come true, kissing the man you've always felt something for. But has he felt the same? You know, following you to the bathroom to kiss you had to signify that.

You pull away, a string of saliva leaving both of your lips. His hand slides down your back, holding your waist and pulling you closer to his body.

You're both panting, trying to regain your breaths.

"We shouldn't be doing this."

"But you want to, don'tcha sweetheart?" He pulls you impossibly closer, "I saw the way you eye fucked me over there, doing that while wearing this little dress won't do you no good doll."

"Why won't it do me no good? And I wasn't eye fucking you, I was upset at the fact that you didn't even acknowledge me over there."

"Can't tell ya that." He smirks.

You grew frustrated, Joel loves the way your brows furrow. Thinkin' bout how your brows would be furrowing the way his cock rammed deep inside of you. "Y'know, I didn't have my dessert yet. You willin' to give me that?"

Your eyes widen, the knots in the pit of your belly only grew tighter. You knew very well what he implied, and you had no problem giving Joel this. Because as soon as those words left his mouth, he picked you up and sat you down on the cold counter roughly. Causing you to wince in response from the cold contact of the bathroom counter.

"Joel.." you breathed, unsure of what you're seeing is just a dream of if it's fucking real.

"Want me to make you feel good baby? I'll make you feel so good, I'll show you what it's like to be loved by me."

You pant in need and want, "y..yes, I want you to make me feel good, Joel."

"I'll make you feel good, baby." It took you a second to process, only because you can't believe this is about to happen. You're shy, it took a moment before Joel did it for you. His warm rough hands touching your knees and spreading your legs made you moan in response.

"Look at ya, already moaning and I haven't even done nothing."

He pulls you closer, your legs beside his waist as he goes back in for a kiss. This time, it's gentler, softer. It was all sudden, and new. Just a few minutes ago, he was eating your face.

He groans in your mouth, you taste too good to him. He can only imagine how sweet his dessert would taste. This was only a sample, a fraction of what he's about to go in for.

He gives your jawbone peppered kisses, all the way down to your neck, then your collarbone. You hold on to the counters as he made his way down, pushing your purple dress you wore specifically for him.

Then he gets down on his knees, sliding your soaked panties off. You watch as it makes way down to your ankles. "Oh doll, you're so wet for me. That's my girl."

Hearing him call you his girl sure put you in a haze, it all felt unreal.

His head is now between your thighs, and the sight alone makes you close to finishing already.

His tongue brushes against your aching clit and your head tilts back, your thoughts are literally everywhere. Puzzle pieces waiting to be solved, yet you're focused on Joel's head in between your legs.

Your legs spread further once Joel drags his tongue along your throbbing, cunt. Groaning as he's savoring the taste of his dessert. You squirm and move under his touch when his tongue rasps over your sensitive flesh. "Stay still sweetheart." He warned as his arms wrap around your legs to keep you spread open for him.

"Ah, Joel..." You pant, unable to keep it down. "Keep your voice down, unless you want everyone to hear how good I make my sweet girl feel." His dirty words and praises made it so hard to.

He flicks the tip of his tongue back and forth, giving everything he has. You bite down on your lips, "attagirl, doin' so good for me. 'S right."

You almost want to cry out as he devours you, your legs keep him in place as you feel the heat in the pit of you belly grow intensely hotter. You're so wet for him, and you can't help but roll your hips to get more. Watching his head buried into you was so illicit, so real.

"Joel, I'm so close-" you struggled to whisper or even say a full sentence. He continues, but this time, his tongue finds its way inside of your leaking cunt. You moan, he looks up at you. Eye contact was way too intense.

"Taste so fuckin' good for me, ya like watching me eat your sweet pussy hm?" His jaw works more, and you can't help but fight the urge to scream his name. Your chest rose with each stroke of his tongue on your cunt.

Suddenly, his hands leave the tight hold he had on you and hastily unbuckling his belt. He pushes down his jeans, along with his boxers, and the sight before you were everything and more.

You watched his cock spring up, and your eyes widen in shock. He's big, and you didn't know how the hell he is going to fit. Your cunt ached for him, growing more needy. You grab his hair and pull him closer, he hums with affirmation. Joel goes back down, this time to finish what he started.

His familiar touch sent waves of shock throughout your body. Mind clouded and head pounding, you grind into his mouth, chasing your orgasm like an owner chasing his dog. And finally, you explode into fragments of pleasure. Stars and colors were all you could see and hear.

Joel then licks his lips, looking down at your cunt before he inserts his cock slowly. Torture almost. Your eyes roll back and Joel groans at the sight in front of him, this beautiful and glowing woman in front of him. He never thought, at his age, he’d get to see this again. But he hopes he sees it forever.

He thrusts slow and then fast as he listened to your melodic moans and whimpers. It only made him want to go faster and faster, and the coil in the pit of your belly finally snaps and you shake. His thrusts become sloppy, “fuck, you’re so good to me, hun.” He praised as he too followed after you.

“Want me to come in this pretty pussy? Hm? Talk to me.” He ordered. You nod, unable to form words. “Talk.” He demands, “yes, Joel, fuck yes.” And then he lets go of himself, his head placed on your shoulder and he groans as he comes inside of you. His cock twitching, the two of you are still regaining your breaths, you’re still trying to collect yourself.

“We gotta get cleaned up, but we’ll start with you first, how bout’ that?” He smirked and you nod. If this happened to be just a dream, then it was the best fucking dream ever.

[fluentmoviequoter]

More Than Meets the Eye

Excellent idea inspired by 5x18 with Tim and his wife from @avada-kedavra-bitch-187 ! I hope you enjoy!!

This is a documentary-style fic! All scenes in italics are the interview scenes, and the non-italic portions are body cam footage, additional scenes, etc.

Pairing: Tim Bradford x fem!cop!wife!reader (+ they have twins: a boy and a girl)

Summary: You and Tim go undercover as your criminal doppelgängers. When the case is turned into a documentary, the interviewer and viewers learn that there's often more than meets the eye.

Warnings: interview scenes in italics! fluff, angst, murder, credit card fraud, violence, threats, slightly suggestive in parts (bc Jake Butler) but SFW!

Word Count: 3.4k+ words

Masterlist | Tim Bradford Masterlist | Request Info/Fandom List

Death, deception, and doppelgängers. When the Los Angeles Police Department responded to an urgent 911 call, no one expected what would happen next.

“911 what’s your emergency?”

“Send help! He’s- oh my lord, I don’t know- there’s blood and he… I heard a scream, but not the shot!”

“Sir, where are you?”

A single scream, no witnesses, a silent shot, and a once-in-a-lifetime interaction between suspect and officer. This is More Than Meets the Eye.

When you and Tim walk into his office, where two chairs are waiting, you’re surprised to see three people and a camera shoved into the small area behind his desk. You smile at the interviewer as you sit, and Tim waits for you to settle before he lowers beside you.

“Hello! We’ll start right away. I’ll introduce you first,” the interviewer says. “Whatever feels best, and then we’ll get into the dirty details of the case.”

“Like they’re ever clean,” you mumble.

“This is Sergeant Tim Bradford of the LAPD, and his wife-“

“Don’t do that,” Tim interrupts. “She’s not my wife in this case, she was instrumental to solving it. Use her position title.”

“My apologies.”

You send the interviewer a kind smile as your elbow taps Tim’s in thanks. Tim doesn’t really want to be here, you know that, but you appreciate him standing up for you regardless. When your introduction is complete, you straighten your shoulders as the case is introduced and travel back in time to one of the weirdest days of your life.

“Sergeant Bradford, you were the first responder at the scene. But when you returned to the station is when this case truly took its first turn, correct?”

Tim sighs before he answers, “Yes, that is when this became more than just a call for me. For all of us, really.”

“Can you tell us more about that moment?”

“I walked into an interview room and saw a guy who looked like me on the other side of the glass. There was an opportunity, and our detectives were quick to jump on it.”

“Tim, switch to a private channel,” Angela requests. “I know you’re on a Metro patrol, but dispatch just alerted us to a suspected murder. You’re nearby.”

“I’ll check it out,” Tim answers. “Did the caller give any other details?”

“One of interest. He said he heard a scream but no shot. Apparently he mentioned more than one shot suffered by the vic.”

“He heard a scream but not numerous shots?”

“That’s what the call said. He told the dispatcher a name of a neighbor who had some sort of argument with the vic yesterday, so we sent another unit to pick him up.”

“Got it.”

“Thanks, Timothy. I owe you one.”

“Just one?”

“Two baby ones. Let me know.”

Tim rolls his eyes as he sets the radio aside. He reaches the address quickly and knocks on the door. There’s no answer, even after his yelled introduction as a police sergeant. Because of the exigent circumstance and probable cause of the phone call, Tim enters the house without a warrant. Inside is a blood bath, with one body spread in the tile of the entryway. Tim alerts Angela to the dead body, and she asks him to stay close to the scene and guard it until Nyla arrives.

“But the moment she gets there, come back to the station,” Angela adds.

“10-4,” Tim replies.

He clears the house, then closes the door behind him as neighbors gather near the front yard. One neighbor tells the others about what happened, and Tim assumes he is the caller. Several minutes pass before Nyla arrives with a CSU team, and Tim waves as he returns to his shop.

When he steps into the bullpen, Angela jogs to Tim’s side.

“Don’t freak out, Tim,” she says.

“I never do,” he argues.

“This- this is different Tim. So, just consider everything before you say no.”

Angela leads him into the interview observance room. On the other side of the one-way glass is a man who strikes an uncanny resemblance to Tim.

“It’s creepy, right?” Nolan asks. “He looks just like you!”

“Why are you here?” Tim counters.

“I brought him in. His name’s Jake Butler, though I fully expected his prints would come back as a Bradford.”

“He doesn’t look that much like me,” Tim argues.

“He really does,” Angela says. “I thought it was you for a split second.”

“I agree,” Wade interjects from the open door. “But whether you can see it or not, you’ve got an opportunity here, Bradford.”

Tim looks back to the window just as Jake stands to examine his hair in the reflection. Face-to-face, Tim can see the unsettling resemblance, though it pains him to voice that aloud.

“Fine, we- there’s some things in common,” he mutters.

“I’ll take it. I want you in the room with me,” Angela responds. “Shake him a little bit and find out what he really knows.”

“He saw me and immediately asked if the victim was dead,” Nolan fills in. “And his front door had blood all over the knob.”

“I’ll try not to let your wife see the competition,” Wade jokes.

Tim rolls his eyes as he follows Angela into the interview room. Neither of them speaks before Jake sees Tim and gasps.

“Yo,” he breathes out dramatically. “Your face looks like mine, man! Hey, do you have a long-lost twin? ‘Cause I’ve always felt this connection and-“

“No,” Tim says firmly.

In another part of the station, you hear about Nolan’s arrest of a murder suspect and decide to offer your assistance to Angela. A dead body in a nice neighborhood will need a lot of hands willing to do dirty work, and that’s something you don’t mind. Nyla looks up from her computer as you approach Angela’s empty area and smiles like she knows something you don’t.

“Hey,” you greet. “I was just looking for Lopez. If you need help, let me know.”

“Oh, we do. Our suspect has an acquaintance of sorts that I think you could help us find. Come with me?” Nyla replies.

You follow her to an interview room and don’t question when she asks you to walk inside. Once the door is closed behind you, you see Tim and Angela, then-

“Baby!” the man at the table cries.

Your eyes widen as he stands and steps toward you with his arms up. Tim pushes his hand against Jake’s chest and points to his chair.

“Give us just a moment, Mr. Butler?” Angela requests.

“Why you wearing a uniform, sweets?” Jake asks you. “C’mon, don’t leave me alone in here.”

You ignore his plea to stay and follow your husband into the observation room. Looking through the window, you suppress a shiver at how eerily similar Jake Butler is to Tim.

“Baby?” Tim repeats loudly. “What was that?”

Nyla raises a tablet with the criminal file of a woman who looks nearly identical to you. The name is different, and she’s currently in holding after being arrested on a warrant for missing court.

“Jake Butler’s girlfriend. Tell me that’s not lucky,” Nyla jokes, her smile wide as she observes the concealed horror on your face.

“This is too weird,” you mumble.

“It is,” Angela agrees. She lays her hand on your shoulder and smiles before she asks, “Want to go undercover for me?”

You look at Tim, who sets his jaw and lifts one shoulder slightly. He’s letting you choose. Neither of you are undercover officers; given the situation, it’s likely the only chance you’ll have to close the case.

“Only if one of you agrees to watch the kids,” you answer. “I need someone I trust with them if I’m going to pretend to be…”

“Shop,” Nyla answers with a giggle. “And that genius in there is Dim.”

Tim drops his head as he shakes it. You understand the nicknames, especially when compared to your lookalike’s credit card fraud scheme, but it only makes this more real. You’re going undercover as another version of yourself with another version of Tim. You’ll need a lot of help to get through this case.

“Neither of you are undercover officers,” the interviewer points out. “Yet you seemed eager to be launched into a dangerous situation, even if it meant leaving your children for an indefinite period of time.”

Tim clenches his jaw, and you lay your hand on his knee, below the camera's framing.

“We’re cops,” you argue. “Every morning when we kiss our twins goodbye, we know that we’re walking into danger and risking never coming home to them. What made this moment different was that we knew the outcome. With our team behind us, we could be pulled out at any moment, and the whole ‘lookalike’ thing gave us an advantage to call more shots than most UCs.”

“We didn’t abandon our children for some crime spree through the hills. It was a job, a performance, and it had a clear end date,” Tim adds. “Being a cop is the job. Our son and daughter, though, they’re our lives and we keep that line very clear.”

“Then that must’ve made what happened next hard. If your children, your relationship, are your life… how did you turn into - um - Dim, also known as Jake Butler, and…”

“Kaylee Longworth,” you fill in.

“That’s not what you called her, is it?”

“No. She was dubbed ‘Shop.’”

“Why? Dim is a play on Sergeant Bradford’s name, and an insult to Butler’s intelligence. What’s the connection from Kaylee to Shop?”

“It rhymes with cop,” Tim answers. “And she had a shopping habit that caused her financials to take a nosedive. We never would’ve found her if she’d stopped shopping sooner.”

“How was Longworth brought into custody?”

“A report of a stolen credit card,” you explain. “She was arrested in a Los Angeles Victoria’s Secret for using the stolen card.”

“Okay. So, you effortlessly become Dim and Shop. Where did those parents you seem to identify as go during your escapade through the hills?”

“What are you asking?” Tim interrupts. “If we feel guilty about pretending to be other people to catch a murderer?”

“Dim and Shop was just that, an act, pretend, and keeping this city safe for our family was the only thing on our minds,” you finish.

“The act went well, didn’t it? Was there any moment where you struggled or thought you did a bit too well?”

“Both,” you and Tim answer together.

“Hey, this isn’t the minor leagues, Butler! Get your head in the game or get out of my way.”

You roll your eyes at Jake’s criminal handler as Tim tightens his grip on your hips. He presses his chest against your back and licks his lips as he smiles at the man before you.

“You try controlling yourself with a woman like this,” Tim argues. “We got it handled.”

“Got something handled,” you murmur, turning your chin over your shoulder to see Tim.

“Focus,” the man snaps. “I need ten more credit cards by tonight. If you can’t do that, then maybe you’ll have to find a new girl, Butler. Can you get that through your girl-centered mind?”

Tim straightens and steps around you. As he crowds the shorter man, he drops his voice and slaps on a fake smile that does little to hide the anger in his eyes.

“I got it, pal. We’ll get it done. And when we do, you may want to find a new way to keep me in line.”

“I’ll believe that when I see it.”

Tim wraps his arm around your shoulders and leads you out, whispering an apology as you turn a corner. It’s just a cover, you remind yourself. When Tim acts like someone you don’t know, you remember that you’re playing a part, too. This isn’t you. Though it’s hard, the case is all that matters.

“Jake,” you whisper harshly as another hand wraps around your arm.

“I got the account number,” Tim grunts. “What more do you want?”

“A promise that you’re not the one and done lucky loser you look like,” the man holding a gun against Tim’s temple answers.

“The only lucky thing about him is me,” you call. “You seriously think he can manage to fall into coincidence after coincidence? He only seems like that because that’s what he wants you to see. You can’t replace us, and you know it.”

“Oh. He’s lucky to have you, huh? Then maybe we’ll keep you here for the next score and see if Jake can deliver on his own.”

“Sure. Just make sure it’s not a man he’s ripping off.”

“Why would I do that?”

“Because, like I said, I’m his luck. I can press men easier than he can, if you can understand that.”

He presses the gun harder into Tim’s skin, and you level your expression. After a moment, he drops his hand and signals for the men behind you to release you.

“Let’s go, Jake,” you say.

“Where are you going? We’ve got a casino hit tonight.”

“We’ll be back,” you promise. “I doubt a little unlucky boy like you would understand.”

“You’ve got an hour.”

“More than I need,” Tim brags.

“But all those attempts to maintain your covers together fell short,” the interviewer adds.

“How so?” you inquire.

“The interruption in the park. You were millimeters from adding another felony to the arrest when an unexpected interruption occurred.”

“You mean our kids?” Tim asks. “They came up and called me dad, and we did our jobs to maintain our covers and get our guy. So, no, it didn’t ‘fall short.’”

“What are you saying?” you question. “You want me to draw him back to a room so you can pop one in him?”

“That’s exactly what I’m saying. I’m sure getting men to follow you into private spaces can’t be too hard. So, lure him to my room and I’ll make sure this payday is doubled for you.”

You glance at Tim where he stands on the other side of the semi-circle of criminal conspiracy.

“Dad!” a young girl yells.

You bite your tongue when you hear the familiar voice and look over slowly to maintain your composition and cover. Your daughter stops between you and Tim, and her twin brother pauses beside you. He furrows his brows as he looks at the tattoos covering Tim’s skin but doesn’t ask.

“Dad,” she repeats. “What are you doing here?”

Your son looks up at you, but you keep your eyes on Tim. Raising your eyebrows in faux accusation, you cross your arms and ask, “You have something you want to tell me, Jake?”

Over Tim’s shoulder, you don’t see Nyla or any sign of someone who should be watching your kids.

“Yeah,” the man beside you agrees. “Do you?”

“Man,” Tim drawls. “Do I look like I have something to tell? Unless his mama didn’t do her part after I bailed out, she’s just a confused little kid.”

“She’s not confused!” your son defends. He’s a few minutes older than her, fiercely protective, and he doesn’t stand for anyone talking down to her. “You’re not being kind.”

You look at the man beside you and shrug. Someone – you and Tim – taught your children too well. Gently, you tug the back of your son’s shirt to get his attention.

“Go back to where you’re supposed to be, alright? You shouldn’t run off,” you encourage.

He nods eagerly, grabs his sister’s hand, and runs back the way they came. You watch them go up a hill, then see James meet them at the top. Jake’s handler needs a performance now, so you look at Tim and tilt your head as your smile grows. You step toward Tim, loop your arms around his neck, and push yourself against him. Tim swallows at your sudden and awkward attention but recovers quickly as his hands drop to your thighs and slide up slowly.

“You may not have anything to tell now, but… It does give me an idea,” you flirt.

Tim cocks his head to the side quickly and then angles his face toward yours. “Tell me more, baby.”

“On your own time,” the handler interrupts. “Car, now, or we miss rush hour at the casino, and you can kiss your cut goodbye just like those kids.”

“And then what happened? You arrest the handler, who turned out to be the killer after a credit card robbery gone wrong. Plus, you apprehend everyone involved in his criminal racket. But a character like Jake and Kaylee can’t just disappear, right?”

“It can,” Tim assures. “That hair grease and the tattoos washed right away. You wouldn’t be asking these questions if we were trained UCs, but we had a team walking us through every step. This wasn’t something we just threw ourselves into.”

“I understand that. You performed well and closed the case. You got your spouse and kids back as you returned to your normal lives."

"Right. The job ended, and we returned to our real lives," you agree.

You mentioned that the roles were hard to play at times, but your attraction and obsession with Butler seemed effortless,” the interviewer says.

“What are you implying? That I developed feelings for a felon who played a role in the murder of an innocent man?” you reply incredulously. “I was playing a part.”

“Well, sure, but there was no script. Everything you did was your choice, was it not?”

“Stop,” Tim warns. “What we did had nothing to do with the real people. If you can’t see that, you’re not looking in the right place.”

“My mind was never on Butler, it was on the truth. I did what I had to and what would get us the evidence we needed,” you defend.

“Those played up moments were completely necessary in your mind then?”

“Imply that she cheated one more time and we’re done,” Tim interjects. “Ask something about the case or you can finish this documentary on your own.”

“We’ll take another look at your cover identities, then. The moment in the park with your son had to have threatened that act and your composure,” the interviewer muses, changing the subject.

You nod at Tim before you answer, “Well, sure, but police work is everything expect predictable. Things happen in police work, but the detectives and a tactical team were nearby, plus Tim was right there, so there was never a real safety concern in my mind.”

“You trust Tim that much?”

“With my life.”

“And your children’s apparently. They didn’t sign up to go undercover, so how can you justify having them in that-“

“How can you justify a question like that?" Tim interrupts.

“I’m sorry.”

“No, you’ve made more than enough implications. If you think that we willingly let our children stand in a dangerous moment or put them in the path of any sort of harm, then this interview is over.”

“There’s just a few-“

“We’re done. We’ve covered the case,” you agree.

The door behind you opens, and you turn quickly. You and Tim smile as you walk to greet your children, who are returning from school.

“Mom!” your son calls as he hugs your legs. “We learned about dolphins today! Did you know they can see themselves in a mirror and know that it’s them?”

“Dad!” your daughter squeals as Tim pulls her up to hug her.

“I missed you today,” he tells her. “Do you think we should just stay here and play forever?”

“No!” she says with a giggle. “You have to stop bad people and I need to go to school.”

“I’ll stay home,” your son offers.

You laugh and take his offered drawing of a dolphin. The interviewer and the camera behind you are long forgotten as you interact with your children. This moment, the real you and Tim in your own life contrasts the limited information the documentary makers have about your parenting style.

“Alright, go put your stuff away and we’ll make dinner,” Tim instructs.

“My favorite?” your daughter asks.

“No, it’s my turn!” your son argues.

“You have the same favorite.” Tim chuckles as he directs them down the hall before he turns back to the camera crew in your living room.

Your children run to their rooms, and the interviewer asks, “Just one more thing, please. Why do all of this? You aren’t specially trained or viewed as an officer who has to do this. It’s outside of your scope, so what made this case worth it?”

“Everything we did, everything we continue to do, we do out of love for our kids and our city," you answer. "No matter what you say or how you try to twist this case, we acted from our sense of duty and from love.”

“Not that you’d understand,” Tim sighs. “Being a parent, being a cop... there’s always more than what you see from the seat you’re in outside of it all.”

[etherfabric]

How to Foster Peace + Lyrics

Choose a pile by which picture you resonate with the most.

If your mind is too busy to clearly decide, take a few deep breaths, and use the finger of your non-dominant hand to hover over the images. One will give off the most subtle yet prominent signals, like tingles, a magnetic pull, or temperature. This is your pile. Multiples are also possible.

You are the ultimate authority over your life. I merely provide my perspective. Sometimes the Universe lines you up with something that doesn't resonate with your truth, so you have contrast to find out what does. Never give away your power.

Pile 1

3 of Wands, 10 of Wands

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You have to broaden your perspective on what help can look like. You are clinging to superficial indicators that not everyone can authentically hold, and remain overwhelmed by your burdens because of it. You might have a favorite outcome and are so hyperfocused on it that you don't even consider a lot of second best opportunities. Those could relieve you bit by bit instead of one big miracle. Stop seeing certain things as "beneath you", swallow your pride and admit to your very normal human need of support in general. Let the helpers have a little more say in what that might look like and don't argue against every minute detail. They probably offer what they can give best, and you don't know the effect this can have on you until you fully let it in and be the receiver for once.

Lyrics: "Rockland County" by Regina Spektor

Condescending down the stairs I'm condescending down the stairs I look out for a moment Condescending down the stairs I'm condescending down the stairs I look down at the bottles

I just know I got something coming If I got anything coming at all I just know I got something coming If I got anything coming at all

Pile 2

9 of Wands, 5 of Pentacles

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You need to find an outlet for your frustrations to foster more peace in your life. To you, that seems like a contradiction; give in to the aggressive voice inside my head for peace? Well, it depends on how you go about it. To not hurt anyone in this cathartic process, choose a time of privacy and maybe an object to express yourself with. Punch a pile of laundry, rip old newspaper to shreds, cry into a pillow, write the word "fuck" 500 times in your journal, let yourself have violent daydreams, scream at God herself - the possibilities are endless. But you have to face this side of you. The steam is buildung up pressure in the container that is you, and believe me, you want to let it out on your own terms. Otherwise you risk something outside of your influence pushing you over the edge in an inappropriate setting. This could harm you and others way more than it has to. Surpression is a short term coping mechanism, and you have reached the limit.

Lyrics: "A Cannon" by Regina Spektor

I write you a letter, I hope you feel better I hope you forgive the transgressions I've given you love and I've given you anger as well And I meant them both

Somebody's got to tell all the people to be like the water Somebody's got to tell all the people to be like the water

I would if I could, but I can't, so I don't My heart breaks too easy, my words get all jumbled And when I wear lipstick Then no one understands me at all...

Pile 3

5 of Pentacles, Ace of Pentacles

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You have some serious intergration to do. I feel you going "Another thing?? I am already doing so much! I can't do any more!" No, but that's the thing. You are doing so much to get away from the "bad" feelings that need integration. The pain, the sadness, the grief, the despair, the hopelessness. The goal isn't to build a life without any of these things. The goal is to grasp opportunities for authentic self expression whenever they arise, observe what blockages still hold you back, and explore how they came about. The goal is to become whole again; to incorporate those aspects of yourself you weren't safe to express before.

Every human has the capacity for darkness and a need to be authentic in that regard. The question is whether we accept and embrace it in our conscious approaches, or wear ourselves down fighting ourselves. As soon as you let yourself fall apart and let nature take its course, you will see you didn't need to hold it together that tightly anyway. It will feel like being stuck forever in this pit, but just for a couple of moments. Sooner or later, everything fades. What goes down, must come up again.

The next time you feel the darkness creeping up, walk intentionally towards it instead of running in the other direction. You will survive, I promise. This darkness holds a truth about your past that wants to be heard and felt like it deserves.

Lyrics: "Just Like The Movies" by Regina Spektor

You are mistaken cause I do not bite Over the Williamsburg bridge on a bike And if he loves me then why does he leave? And if he loves me then why does he lea— Lea-ee-ee-ooh-dee-no Aah-de-da-de-da-aaaah Don't say goodbye like you're burying him Cause the world is round and he might return Don't say goodbye like you're burying him Cause the world is round and he might re—

Pile 4

The Moon, 10 of Swords

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I see a crisis of faith in one or all aspects of your life. Doubts are creeping up, and they feel awfully truthful. The places where you used to turn to for confirmation are suddenly empty and lifeless, and you feel abandoned by a higher power.

If God doesn't send you signs, selfmade is fine. Become your own God for a moment. How can you give yourself a little faith back again? Maybe it's affirmations written on your mirror, or a ritual you designed yourself whenever you need that extra reassurance. Maybe it's that one friend who sometimes can be annoying with their constant positivity; now might be a time where you can benefit from their perspective.

Whatever it is, practice believing something intentionally. It will feel a little icky at first, like a conscious self-gaslight. Just remind yourself that this isn't a lie, you are reintroducing the truth to a part of yourself that has no emotional access to all the small and big miracles you already experienced. Let them see it with their own eyes. Start from the beginning. Make an event out of it. Like a second spring in your spirituality. This part probably saw you thriving in your faith, and now feels comfortable revealing itself to hopefully join the party.

Lyrics: "December" by Regina Spektor

We are not evacuating this house, We don't believe in you and your wrecking crew. We are not evacuating this house, We don't believe in you and your wrecking crew. We don't believe in you and your wrecking crew We don't believe in you We don't believe in you, We don't believe in you We don't believe in you, We don't believe in you... We don't believe in you

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Hopefully this was of some use to you. I love getting feedback on my readings, so don't hesitate to leave a comment if you feel called to do that.

[cosmic-ghost-hermit]

What is the Best Way for YOU to Manifest?

I have been receiving so many notes from yall and there are so many new followers!!! thank you all so much for the love and the affirmation! I really enjoy doing this and it helps me stay in a healthy mindset so I'm glad I can assist others while assisting myself.

In today's reading I am using Ethereal Visions Illuminated Tarot, The Healing Waters Oracle, and The Starseed Oracle. Take what resonates and leave the rest behind but always be open to new perspectives!

Donate to my CashApp

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PILE ONE

Astrology: Aries, Leo, Sagittarius

Vibes: Blue, navy, black, skulls, ice, Hermes, ocean, coast-line, shark teeth, crystal jewelry, castles, olive tree, music, cats, fish, soda, marine life in general, crying, spicy food, hot meal, alternative fashion

Song: Everybody Wants To Rule The World by Tears for Fears

Cards: The Artist, 7 of Cups, Page of Cups, The Ripple Effect, Perspective

Heyooo pile one! Welcome to your reading. The best way yall can manifest is by projecting it out of you. This can be through making art of some kind or just looking at art of what it is that you desire. Either way all you need is to see the desire outside of yourself and it will eventually find its way to you. I see you are quite protective of your desires and it is difficult for you to choose which one you want to manifest most because you want them all so much. You can have them all if you like. You need to admire what you want to manifest. Imagine how you would feel seeing whatever it is in your hands. If it is an object imagine what the texture of it would feel like. What does it look like? Imagine its color. If it is an experience that you wish to manifest imagine how it would feel to experience it. What would your senses take in when you experience it? You know intuitively what it is you want without having it. Doesn't it make sense you would intuitively know what it would be like? The clearer the vision you have, the quicker it will manifest into existence. Just remember anything you wish to manifest is already yours. It has your name written on its spiritual frequency. You just gotta match the frequency. Don't worry about how it will happen. Don't worry about the plan. The universe already knows how it will get to you. You don't have to worry about that part. The details are already taken care of, my dude. Trust the universe.

PILE TWO

Astrology: Cancer, Scorpio, Pisces

Vibes: Green, yellow, white, wild-flowers, children laughing, church bells, lions, eagles, bulls, peanut butter, being barefooted, 222, snakes, curry, ribbons

Song: What I've Got by Sublime

Cards: Wheel of Fortune, 6 of Cups, 2 of Swords, King Tide, Breath of the Cosmos

Hi, pile 2! The best way for you to manifest is through verbal expression. I see many entities watching over you. They wait patiently for you to ask for what you desire. They listen closely to what you truly want. When you ask it must be backed by the desire of your inner child. If it does not align with your inner child's desires the entities might not hear you. The universe wants to cradle your inner child. It coos at them waiting for them to speak. Let your inner baby ask for what it wants. Let them speak. It is common for inner children to be silenced by the world so this might take some convincing. Be patient with them and they will tell your guides everything you truly desire and I swear it'll be dropped in your lap or by your doorstep in no time at all. You must trust your younger self to know what is right. You must trust the universe to deliver it to you. Both of them want you to experience abundance and plenty. Both of them want you to receive the fullness of life. Speak aloud what your younger self wants. Speak it with confidence in the effect it will have on your experience. It must be genuine. Whatever you want is already yours once it is spoken.

PILE THREE

Astrology: Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn

Vibes: Purple, forest green, pink, dogs, umbrellas, door knocker, hibiscus, olives, grapes, plums, violets, pomegranate, venus, 2222, incense smoke, candles, amethyst, cannabis, kayaking, hiking, Saturn

Song: Amethyst by Janine the Machine

Cards: The Fool, The Empress, The Well, Ilse of Avalon, You're Not For

Everyone

Pile three, welcome to your reading! The best way for you to manifest is through your actions. I feel how hard you work in my body through the cards. You are far too resilient cus gotdamn your back hurts. Hard work is a way to manifest yes but what might work better for you is to enjoy yourself. By working hard all the time you invite in more work to do. Your actions display your manifestations. If you desire rest and relaxation (which i think you do) then meditation might help you. Do what you enjoy doing. Your physical reality with mirror your mind. Allow your mind to take a break. Embrace what you have wanted to do for a while. I know you have been trying so hard to get the manifestations you desire so deeply. I know those 60 to 80 hour work weeks have been hard on your mind and body. Pamper yourself a little bit. Invite more softenest in. Be willing to receive. Leap into bed, turn on your favorite show, and indulge a little in your favorite snack. Heal your soul. The cards also tell me you are a bit weird and quirky but you hide that a lot. It will help your manifestations come faster if you just embrace your weirdness. Lean into your quirkiness. I feel you are already really connected to Source and Source is where all that we need/desire comes from. You just gotta tap back into that energy again. Wow, okay I think your guides have been telling you to rest for a while. I am hearing them LOUD and CLEAR. They are a little frustrated with you not listening to them. You are pretty stubborn huh? I see you might have hurt yourself at work recently. That was an invitation to rest. Take the invitation, please. I see that if you don't take the invitation now you might be forced to later.

PILE FOUR

Astrology: Gemini, Libra, Aquarius

Vibes: Orange, red, sky blue, lavender, holding hands, hand-shakes, raining when the sun is out, rainbows, martini, fajitas, goblets, queer pride, 1111, throat chakra, oroborous, lotus flower

Song: Dracula from Houston by Butthole Surfers

Cards: The Magician, The Lovers, Ace of Cups, Let It Rain, Water Your Garden

Hey there, pile 4! Welcome to your reading, my friend. The best way you manifest is through communication. It's a bit more specific than that. Specifically when you're communicating in ways that are also taking care of yourself. Some examples of this are journaling, venting to a friend, talking with your lover, setting a boundary or writing letters to a pen pal. When you are verbalizing your desires to your friends be sure you are communicating with those you trust. I also see saying daily affirmations in the mirror would work as well. Which sometimes looks very ritualistic and other times it's you singing a song that makes you feel really positive about yourself in the mirror. Hype yourself up and that is a way to manifest as well. Anything with language involved while you are nourishing your body. I do see it might be difficult for you to gather your thoughts on your own so I do think it would be a bit easier to speak to a trusted advisor. Your words have power. Your language has power. The things that slip from your mouth are magic. Be very intentional about what you say, my dear.

[ordinaryschmuck]

Inside Out 2 is More Emotional and More Impactful

Gonna be honest, I wasn't PUMPED for Inside Out 2. I wasn't AGAINST seeing it and it WAS a sequel I was sure could work. As we grow up, are emotions become more complex as new challenges arrive in life as WE grow up. Yeah, the Puberty Alarm could have started and ended as a gag that didn't NEED to go anywhere, but it would have been welcomed if it did. So I could tell that it would have worked...but given the rough year Disney had in 2023 and how they continue to make weird decisions like this?

Yeah, it didn't really encourage me to be on the movie's good side. But my mom wanted to see it and I couldn't say no because it's been a while since WE'VE seen a movie together. So we went out, watched it, and...my goodness gracious, do I LOVE this movie.

There ARE some sequel rehashing, which really is what stops this movie from being a truly great sequel. Emotions are once again shoved out of headquarters while ones people perceive as "bad" are struggling to control Riley and give her the best possible life. HOWEVER, they DO mix things up.

Firstly, the humor feels stronger than the first. The banter with the Emotions are as great as ever, with the newcomers adding some great jokes and dynamics. It cracked me up with how much Fear thirsted over Anxiety, which makes way too much sense. And there's still all the jokes about the mindscape and all that happens when a teen hits puberty. The scene in Riley's Secrets Vault is filled with jokes that cracked me up to no end, with these two 2D characters having the best jokes in the entire movie. I really wish they were in it more.

As for the animation, it, as always, improved from the last film. Pixar once more proves that they can top themselves with more details, fluidity, expressions, and even experimentation. Like I said, there's this 2D character, and they come with 2D props that the 3D characters interact with. And I love how cartoonish the Emotions look or move, creating great juxtaposition with the more realistic yet semi-stylized world Riley lives in. It's part of what I loved about the first movie, and it feels stronger here.

And while there ARE some rehashes, the movie carries on some things from the last in a GOOD way. Joy remembers her lesson about how there's no bad emotions, and tries to greet the newcomers with open arms and optimism. Only to be met with Anxiety, who brilliantly acts as a negative mirror to Joy and how she acted in the last film. Anxiety wants to help Riley HER way, taking charge and pushing away or neglecting other emotions to make Riley's life fit her idea of "better." It shows what COULD have happened if Joy never learned the importance of Sadness or the others, which is actually a smart way to go about these characters. And, yeah, there is ANOTHER rehash with Joy doing something in the last movie to learn the big lesson, but it IS necessary for her to learn how to properly confront, and even help, Anxiety.

And then we get to that ONE scene. You'll know it when you see it. It's a scene where it shows what happens when we let Anxiety consume us. A scene...that makes me want to go back to this for a second:

When I was watching that scene, it made me felt seen, almost like the movie was talking directly at ME. Because I've experienced the EXACT emotions that THAT scene conveys. Hell, I've experienced them recently, as I cried at work THREE times because anxiety took over for too long. Others might have had an experience like that, but it's something I'VE felt and I don't know if it's exactly common enough for EVERYONE to experience. That's what you take away when you ignore a director's catharsis for the sake of making a fifth fucking TOY STORY!

You miss reaching out to people who experienced certain things in certain ways and giving something to point to when someone asks "What's wrong?" Another example is Ratatouille, which perfectly captures the love of creation and art, all through a rat that controls a human as a puppet. It enacts an experience or emotions that a specific kind of people can appreciate, just through a story that's fun and enjoyable through all. Turning Red is about a teen trying to stand up to her mom, but that teen also turns into a giant red panda. Luca is about a boy discovering himself during a summer, but through two fish-boys who just want to buy a vespa. And Inside Out 2 is about how our own self-perception can destroy us and that change is good, but it uses silly emotions going on an adventure in the brain.

Inside Out 2 is GREAT. I'm not even going to dignify the question of whether or not it's better than the first one with a response. I'll just say that it improves on a lot of things despite it still redoing SOME aspects. But with its strong themes and fun new characters, it leads to a sequel more emotional and more impactful. Watch it if you haven't (though, box office numbers suggest you already HAVE), because it'll definitely make you feel things.

[crimeronan]

Hang on. In the latest chapter, Luz is talking about Hunter's backstory &how Belos told him where he came from & she says she can't remember "which one it was for him." Is she talking about lies Belos told the other Grimwalkers??

BINGO. i am THRILLED that someone picked up on this.

what hunter Has been told is: his father was belos's brother. the brother and the rest of hunter's immediate family were killed, hunter was found in the aftermath, and belos took him in.

(i don't think i've ever established whether he was found in the woods or a house or a wrecked village. bc i'll never remember my own canon.)

when hunter found out that belos is human, he assumed his father must Also have been human. and that he himself must be half-human.

luz has let him think this.

hunter Suspects that parts of the story are bullshit, given what he now knows about how belos fabricates wild witch violence. he's not sure at All that his family actually Was killed. but he is certain that his dad is dead & the thought of tracking down his witch family makes him Incredibly Fucking Anxious, so he's. not pursuing it.

this AU's hunter would actually not be too badly shaken by the grimwalker revelation, bc he has WAY less emotionally tied up in belos. and he'd forgive luz for lying to him and understand why she did it.

however!!

it's easy to forget because the story (thus far, anyway) doesn't go into heavy detail -- but luz knows.... basically as much as belos did. about. all of the prior grimwalkers.

belos obfuscated the manner of their deaths to keep up his lies, but he was Extremely honest with her about everything else. like. everythiiing else.

like from a scientific perspective, luz knows all the components and how to put them together and how long to wait for them to incubate and whatnot, which is not That horrifying, it's basically just necromantic scavenger birds-and-the-bees.

but she also knows, like. how it's better to raise a child than form an adult because children have better temperaments. she has belos's notes on all the fucked-up early-psychology-style unethical experiments he did, & what the results were, & which of those results should ideally be repeated.

she has notes on what they were all told about who they are and where they come from, about whether it's better to be honest or to lie, and then when it's Clear that lying is better, about which lies are the most simple and effective.

she has his notes on the lifespans of all of the prior grimwalkers, including shit like child development, language acquisition, discipline, reward systems. his notes on personality and temperament and "illness," which is almost always just budding signs of independence/disobedience.

she has Everything he thought might be useful if she ever decided to create a companion of her own. including unnecessary information. bc he's a father passing down his legacy and wants her to know what he did.

like. it is GROSS. the things she knows are GROSS.

hunter being a grimwalker won't freak him out by itself. but she is fucking Terrified of him finding out that those notes exist. like hey, dude, i have concrete on-paper proof that Every Single Aspect of your personality and loyalty and love was premeditated to make you easier to control. proof that you can't actually trust any of your emotions or instincts because you're SUPPOSED to be non-autonomous. you love me and you chose me but did you actually?? you have never had any control over anything ever! okay bye 💕

like. that's a revelation that's either going to shake hunter to his core, which is fucking awful because he'll be upset and unmoored, OR it's going to have no impact on how he feels about luz/his life at all, which is fucking awful because it just feels like more proof that everything he does is coerced.

what a nightmare position to be in. Truly Unfortunate For Everyone...

[aishangotome]

Alfons Sylvatica: [Blind Love] Chapter 25

Chapter 24 Normal Story

♡———♡

If life were a fairy tale, it would be easy to become happy.

Do not listen to evil temptations.

Do not be deceived by convenient illusions.

Then a calm, ordinary, and commonplace happiness awaits.

But - isn't that boring?

Jude: 'Ey, commoner. Catch.

Kate: Huh? Wow, ... a letter?

With 2 days left until the promised 1 month later, in the morning while eating breakfast, an envelope fluttered in front of me.

The culprit who threw it sat down and opened the newspaper without any explanation.

Ellis: Yours was mixed in with Jude's letters.

Kate: Ah, I see, that's what happened.

Alfons: It's rare for Jude to deliver a mixed-up letter instead of turning it into charcoal.

Jude: Throwin' it in the fireplace or on a plate is the same.

Ellis: Who's the letter from?

Kate: Let's see ... from the postmaster.

What was written there when I opened it was -

Kate: "If you're coming back as planned after finishing your work at the palace, you're welcome back" ... that's what it says.

(Come back, huh ...)

The scent of my former daily life wafted from the envelope and letter paper, and I narrowed my eyes.

Kate: It's kind of nostalgic ... It seems like a long time ago that I was delivering mail.

Liam: Are you going back, Kate? To the post office?

Kate: Huh?

Harrison: ... That's Kate's freedom. It's not for us to say anything about it.

Liam: But, Al, you're curious, right?

Alfons: No, not really.

Alfons slowly turns his gaze towards me.

Alfons: Why don't you do what you think is fun, Kate?

Kate: - Yes, of course.

Kate: I'm going to do what I want to do.

-

Victor: Yes, yes, it's well written.

Victor: As expected of Miss Kate, the contents of the report are concrete, detailed, and perfect.

Kate: Thank you, Victor.

Victor: In the beginning, I can feel your eagerness to understand all the cursed people equally.

Victor: From the middle, it gradually turns into a research essay on the mirror curse.

Kate: ... I'm ashamed to say, there's no room for excuses ...

The report I was gradually writing, just like my mind, clearly showed how it was gradually being eroded by Alfons.

Victor: If you give it to Roger, he'll be delighted.

(... Sorry, I actually already "gave" it to him.)

I've shared excerpts from the middle and later parts of the report with Roger.

(I can't tell Victor that I leaked the report to Roger.)

I want to continue having a good relationship with Roger.

His knowledge and research are essential for what I "want to do."

---Isn't that a bribe? You can't say anything about me.

(No. This is just ... an investment in the future, an investment.)

I answer Alfons, who's stirring things up in my head, insincerely.

Victor: Tomorrow is the deadline for the promise I made with you.

Victor: For this month, as per our contract, you kept the secret and recorded their sins.

Victor: If you get through tonight - you're free.

Victor: Can you tell me? How do you intend to live from now on?

Kate: I -

Kate: As a Fairytale Keeper, I want to continue searching for a way to escape Alfons' fate.

Looking up, Victor gently narrowed his eyes.

I remember the day I first saw their eyes shining in the darkness.

I wanted to escape this place, but now I don't want to leave.

Because I found something important that I can only do here.

Victor: ... Why do want to do so?

Kate: Because I don't want to forget a single trace that he carves on me.

Kate: If he dies before me - at that time, I want to say "I will never forget you."

Kate: And if possible, I want those words to be ... not just a convenient illusion.

Kate: I want them to be reality.

The fate of the cursed is absolute.

But - I can't give up without trying.

(Besides ...)

Kate: I'm going to spend my life proving to Alfons, who surely thinks it's absolutely impossible, wrong!

Victor: ...

Kate: If the tragedy turns around, it will become the best comedy, right?

I know it's mostly a gamble.

A big gamble with my life at stake.

If I lose, despair awaits.

(But, I'll surely turn it into a comedy.)

(I won't let him become a stage device for tragedy.)

Victor: ... Escape from fate, huh. ... Yeah.

Victor: That's a wonderful goal. I feel like you can do it.

Victor: You're free. You can go anywhere and do anything.

Victor: When you feel lost, don't forget that we're on your side.

Kate: ... Yes. Thank you.

Victor: Well then, once again - welcome, Kate.

Victor: Let me welcome you to the world of darkness.

-

--On the way back from getting permission to meet the postmaster and submitting my resignation.

Harrison, who accompanied me, asked as he walked a little behind me.

Harrison: Hey ... are you really okay with this?

Kate: With what?

Harrison: I'll tell you because I know ... but Al is probably out in the night town again.

Kate: ... I know.

Even though we're lovers now, it seems Alfons' "rotten private life" continues.

Harrison: You threw away your everyday life and chose a dark path.

Harrison: Is it okay to forgive him?

Kate: ... I -

At that moment, a carriage stopped next to us.

(Wh-what ...!?)

While I was on guard, the carriage door opened ----,

Harrison: ---!

Kate: Kyaaah!?

I was pulled into the carriage by the arm that reached out.

-

(Who, what!? An enemy of the Crown!? A kidnapper!?)

Alfons: Kate, it's me, me.

Kate: Ah, Alfons!?

Before I could be surprised, the carriage starts rattling away.

Kate: Ah, I need to explain to Harrison...!

Alfons: This carriage has the Crown's exclusive exterior, so Harry will probably figure it out.

(I see...)

Realizing I was the only one panicking, I feel a bit dissatisfied and glance at Alfons next to me.

(Oh, he doesn't have that scent today...)

On the nights he goes out, he always has that cloying, twisted scent of nightlife, a symbol of his decadent lifestyle.

**flashback**

Harrison: You chose a dark path, throwing away your everyday life.

Harrison: Can you really forgive that?

**flashback over**

His words from earlier flash through my mind––

--CHOICES--

In that shady room?

Were you out drinking?

Were you giving illusions somewhere?

---------------

Kate: Were you giving illusions somewhere?

Alfons: Well, yes, something like that.

His nonchalant profile makes me push down the frustration in my throat.

As I'm caught in a swirl of conflicting feelings, wanting to question him more but also afraid to touch the subject,

Alfons: ...Does it not bother you?

A straightforward question comes flying from Alfons.

Kate: Well... it would be a lie to say it doesn't bother me at all.

But I can't bring myself to blame him.

(It's not that I'm afraid of being seen as troublesome.)

(Because, I...)

Kate: ...It's because you do those things that I fell for you.

Kate: Whether you're giving illusions in the slums, providing an escape in the back of a tavern,

Kate: Or something else... I don't know,

Kate: But I know there's a kind of pain there that makes you want to offer an escape.

Alfons: ...

(Even without looking, I can see Alfons' dumbfounded expression.)

But it can't be helped.

Kate: It's fine! Ah... but at least...

Kate: Heartfelt kisses, sincere "I love you"s, those kinds of things... please keep them for me alone.

Alfons: ...

Alfons: Then––is it okay for me to do this kind of thing with other people too?

Kate: ...?

Alphonse's palm smoothly slid around my waist as I sat beside him.

Pulled closer, unable to escape, I surrendered to his touch. His hand crawled up my leg, causing my body to jump in surprise.

Alfons: Don't you hate it when I touch anyone other than you?

The hand that was messing up my skirt went from my back to my chest, playing with my clothes.

As I tried to hold back the voice that was about to leak out, he gently bit my ear.

Kate: Hahh, uhh...

Alfons: Hey, Kate.

Alfons: How far would you let me go?

Kate: Ah, ah...

His fingertip nearly entered my underwear, and I couldn't take it anymore, so I raised a white flag.

Kate: ...N-no...

Kate: Of course I don't want that...

Alfons: Hehe, you've finally become honest.

Even though I tried to be an understanding girlfriend, he pulled out my true feelings and made me tear up.

He looked at me like that and gave a troubled smile.

Alfons: I'm afraid I can't stop going out at night. It's my hobby, my pleasure, and my life's work.

Kate: I... I know...

Alfons: Going out drinking, showing illusions... but

Alfons: I want to try to love you properly, so

Alfons: I won't do that with anyone other than you... no kissing, no caressing, no sex.

(I want to believe it but......)

Kate: ... ... It's definitely a lie... ...

Kate: So that I won't suffer again, so that I won't be sad again, that's how you––

Alfons: Ah ha! So that you won't suffer? No way! I don't have that intention at all.

Alfons: ––You're happy, right?

Alfons: I'm yours alone. I only do pleasant things with you.

Kate: ……?

Whether it's "true" or "not true."

Like a coin that keeps spinning, the result is unknown.

Alfons: Even with these words that are unclear whether they are lies or truth, they are engraved in the depths of your heart.

Alfons: You'll surely remember them every time I go out at night.

As if under a spell, Alfons' words are engraved in my head.

Alfons: You might tail me again to see if it's true, right?

Alfons: If you find out it's true, it will be engraved even deeper.

Alfons: That way, you can keep thinking about me forever and ever.

His words enter me.

It's surely another wicked spell that will take root and cause mischief.

Alfons: I don't make love to you properly to make you feel at ease.

Alfons: It's to dig my claws deep into your heart and leave a scar that won't disappear.

Kate: ... ... Uuu... ...

Unable to endure it any longer, tears finally spilled out.

Alfons wiped away the tears with a smile, as if comforting a child.

Alfons: Ah ha, are you scared?

Kate: No...!

Kate: These are... ... tears of joy.

Alfons, who tried to disappear without leaving a trace, is trying to leave deep claw marks.

Because that is the undeniable proof of his love.

Kate: I'm crying... ... because I'm happy.

Alfons: ... ... Then cry more.

His wicked hands touch me, not to test my true feelings this time, but to love me.

Kate: ... ... In a carriage like this... ...

Alfons: You said that before, too.

Alfons: That time, I didn't finish it...

Alfons: ––Today, please make me feel good too.

A sweet and dangerous temptation is poured into my ear.

Even without being shown an illusion, I already...

––I can't resist this voice.

-

We made love in the cramped carriage, unable to even muffle our voices, and drifted off to sleep—

Kate: Hmm...

Alfons: ...Ah, you're finally awake?

As I woke up, Alfons' voice gently fell upon my eyelids.

Alfons: How was it? Was my thigh comfortable to sleep on?

Kate: ...It was...very nice...

Alfons: That's good to hear.

He chuckled and his fingertips gently stroked my hair.

As I slowly sat up, I noticed my blouse was crumpled and falling off.

I hurriedly picked it up to cover myself, but Alfons laughed again, saying, "There's no need to hide now."

Outside, the sky was tinged with pale pink, and the carriage seemed to be parked in front of the Crown Castle entrance.

There was no sign of the coachman.

Alfons, with his back to the window, was faintly outlined by the light, as if the morning sun was blessing him or the darkness was reluctant to let him go.

He was so beautiful that I held my breath and stared, and our eyes gently met.

Alfons: Hey, Kate.

Alfons: I secretly heard what you "want to do"...

(Huh...?)

"I want to keep searching for a way to escape Alfons' fate."

I wonder what he thought of me telling Victor that.

Alfons: Honestly, I thought it was foolish.

Alfons: It's called "fate" because it can't be escaped.

Alfons sighed softly and then smiled serenely.

Alfons: But—I quite like that overly serious side of you.

Kate: ...Don't say "quite," say you like it "a lot."

Alfons: ...

(What...?)

He fell unusually silent at my retort, then gently took my hand.

(Alfons...?)

His gesture was unusually respectful, so I was surprised and lost for words.

Alfons: ...I'm not good with straightforward words of love.

Alfons: I've said "I love you" and "I like you" too many times without meaning it.

Alfons: The moment I say it, it feels like a lie.

Alfons: So—please forgive me with this.

His lips gently touched the back of my hand, like a sacred vow.

Alfons, with his eyes downcast, had a very sincere expression.

If there was such a thing as a true love's kiss in this world, I think this kiss would be it.

Alfons: I will make you supremely happy...and someday, I will make you despair.

There's no guarantee that fate can be changed.

So, for him, this is a love that will lead me to tragedy.

But—.

Kate: ...I will be made supremely happy.

Kate: But I won't despair.

Alfons: ...Honestly.

Alfons: As long as you're laughing in the end, I feel like any tragedy can turn into a comedy.

Kate: Heh, leave it to me.

You can make fun of me all you want.

So, Alfons, please keep smiling happily.

Kate: I'll turn your life, my life, everything into a comedy.

Alfons: Yes, yes.

Alfons: Let's have as much fun as we can, shall we?

-

Mirror, mirror, don't show me convenient dreams.

Even if reality is full of sadness...

Tell me your truth.

Carve it into my heart, my body.

Because I will never let this love become an illusion.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Blind Love: Epilogue

If you’d like to support my translations, feel free to buy me a coffee here! :)

[joyinunderland]

Aziraphale’s personality type -MBTI

INFJ vs ISFJ

Ok, so, I just had a thought.

You know MBTI personalities, right? On Pdb it is said that Aziraphale is an ISFJ, but I don’t completely agree with that, and I was wondering what you guys think.

My take on this is that he’s an INFJ (chatGPT thinks the same, but anyway), but I’m still not entirely sure.

First of all, just remember that for INFJ we have Ni-Fe-Ti-Se, while for ISFJ we have Si-Fe-Ti-Ne. This means that the biggest difference between these two types can be found in the dominant function, which is introverted intuition for INFJ and introverted sensing for ISFJ. But what does this mean? Basically, INFJs are better at seeing the bigger picture, while ISFJs are better at noticing the little details. For beginners in the field of MBTI, the difference can be reduced to intuition vs sensation.

As for personal experience, I believe INFJs are more prone to forgiving others because they put themselves completely in the other person’s shoes; while ISFJs’ kind of forgiveness seems to come more from the way they observe from the outside the other person. So, I would say they have a different kind of empathy: the former more overwhelming and personal, the latter more “rational” and detached.

Now, I don’t think I will be able to come to an actual conclusion before seeing season 3. Mostly because we still have to see, in my opinion, the real personality traits of this character. What I mean is, Aziraphale has been through a lot of religious trauma, so it’s difficult to understand whether his choices come from that or from his actual personality. We can only guess and speculate and try to find patterns.

As an INFJ, I personally see a lot of myself in him. I just rewatched the scene of the Church in London, 1941. We all remember Aziraphale’s reaction to realising that Crowley had protected the books for him. Usually, the angel is the one taking care of others without expecting anything in return, no one ever thinks of doing something for him and he doesn’t even expect anything. But in that moment he realised that the demon did care about him. For the first time in ages, Aziraphale probably felt seen, understood, cared for, with such a simple yet important action. Well, that’s how basically every single INFJ feels everyday: always caring for others, no one notices what you do, no one thanks you, no one does anything for you. But then, you find that one person that is different, and damn, that person can really change your life.

But let’s go back to facts. We know for a fact that Aziraphale always has a plan, but he waits because he knows that Crowley will come to his rescue. We also know that the angel strongly believes that things can be changed and that he in particular can change them. He has a strong sense of faith and hope, and I don’t mean religious faith, we know he’s been losing that for a while now, but he has faith in humanity, in people, in himself and in Crowley. He has hope that Heaven will be a better place. I personally see all of these characteristics as a show more of an Ni function rather than an Si: he’s more concentrated on the future possibility rather than the present reality.

But again, I won’t be able to tell for sure until season 3 is released, I have to understand what drives him, I have to see all the actual motivations that have led him to the choice he made and, mostly, I have to see who he will become, ‘cause only after he’s healed from his religious trauma he’ll be 100% himself.

Good, if you’ve read all of this long analysis (which took me like an hour to write), GOOD JOB, get a cookie, you deserve it.

Let me know what you think, I am really curious and I’ve always wanted to know what the fandom thinks about this.

Lots of love!

[kakiastro]

The Transformation of Aquarius Chart Rulers

This is how all the aquas are looking right now

Chart ruler- your rising planetary ruler

Ex: if you’re a Capricorn rising. Your ruler is Saturn

Your chart ruler represent YOU. You physically and emotionally embody that planet.

It’s like the Olympics, each planet has its own team players representing them in this lifetime.

If your chart ruler is in the sign of Aquarius then you are here to represent innovation and progress for your team.

Regardless what your rising sign is, if the chart ruler is in Aquarius than you will experience Aquarius themes throughout your life. Your rising is how you maneuver through it.

If you are an Aquarius chart ruler, then YOU are about to go through the biggest transformation in your life. Why? Because of Pluto.

Pluto is the planet of death/rebirth, it tears everything down to ground zero to rebuild something better. It’s time to be better aquas. It will be tough in the beginning, maybe even painful for some. No, I’m instilling fear(which Pluto rules by the way) I’m keeping it real (blame my cap stellium😅) and telling you what you can at least be prepared for. Astrology isn’t love and light, it’s life. It’ll feel like your being stripped naked and may feel very vulnerable at times. There’s is a bright side but it’s up to you to want to embrace it.

Are you going to let the pain get to you or are you going to alchemize it to the best of your ability?

Pluto is fear and it brings up our most uncomfortable emotions to the surface, it’s the boogie man hiding in our closet. Are you going to confront the boogie man or keep letting him mess up your good clothes?

Now for you aquas, your deeper fears is change and vulnerability. Aqua are known as the progressive and innovative sign, it rules society as a whole. However, aqua is one of the fixed signs. This means it’s stubborn and it’s hard to convince them to change their minds and ways. They need so much proof in order to do that and even then. Just like Virgos, y’all are know it alls. Yes, Virgo you’re catching strays too😅jk I love y’all! Now for the vulnerability, Aquarius doesn’t like public display of emotions. Pluto is changing all that, you’ll cry at the sight of a kitten now😅 you are learning it’s okay to release those emotions, you’re learning to be human and no longer like ET.

Here’s the thing, in order to move forward as a collective , we have to break down some walls and that includes our own. It’s not easy at all.

Now, depending on the planetary ruler, the aqua energy will manifest itself differently.

Sun-your ego, soul mission, your light, your public life, creativity, your children

Moon- your private life, family, your inner home, emotions

Mercury-your mind, your communication, your car, your siblings, health, pets, daily routine, your job

Mars- your physical body, motivation and action, stamina, sexuality/sex

Venus- your relationship(s), financials, your possessions, self worth, beauty, your voice, comfort zone, wife

Jupiter- your faith, your philosophical beliefs and ideals, husband, your luck, traveling, cultures

Saturn- your responsibilities , obstacles, your long term lessons, grandparents, Career, parenting

Uranus- oh hunny, you’re really representing aqua here lol, all things progressive, shocking, unpredictable

Neptune- spiritually, creativity, subconscious, collective, hospitals, prisons, water

I’ll make a separate post in detail of the different planetary rulers if you want? Let me know yall!

There’s no need to put Pluto because nobody alive right now except the babies that’s being born and created has a Pluto Aquarius lol

I do have my predictions about Generation Beta but I want to wait and see how this Pluto transit starts to play out in a few more years. This transit is 20 years so this is a huge generation.

Talk to your fellow Saturn big sibling Capricorn, they been through it, including me who has both placements lol

I promise, the growth is worth it though yall! Hang on y’all! Hold the line!

Reading are open!

[spookykestrel]

I wanna move out of state but have no plans or aspirations or anyone to move in wirh should I be really clingy and follow my best (and only close) friend to their college so I’m not lonely

[epickiya722]

Hot take (probably), but I actually don't believe Izuku is the type to actually be in everyone's business. Let alone Katsuki's.

Like, I know there's that bit in one of the light novels, I don't know which one and I don't exactly know how it went, where Izuku mentions how Katsuki didn't get Valentines from girls or whatever but here's the thing...

Katsuki is fucking loud.

I believe Izuku actually didn't care that Katsuki got any gifts from girls or not. Just more shocked that he didn't.

But how he found out was that Katsuki was talking with some other kids and brought up gifts or whatever and Katsuki, being Katsuki, loudly proclaimed that he didn't get gifts and doesn't want any and Izuku just so happen to have heard that walking pass.

They went to a school where their fucking teacher thought it was necessary to bring up Izuku's business to the entire class and he got laughed at.

Maybe it's just me, but the whole "Izuku knows everything about Katsuki because he follows him everywhere like a shadow" just... ugh...

They were close at one point (and got better), yeah. Izuku is observant and he's more curious, mostly about quirks and heroes. And sometimes, he does speak before he thinks and gets into business he doesn't have to, but that's more for being a good person and hero.

But I do not think he's that nosy.

If anyone is the damn nosy one it's Katsuki.

[storfulsten]

my silly viera wol alt bc reasons uwu

[wavebiders]

Thinking about how most of the time when you have the option to stay quiet during a companion quest you get approval for letting them handle it and sometimes even get disaproval for talking over them

And then with Shadowheart's quest speaking up with Viconia not only gives a +5(while *keep silent* gives nothing) but also if you don't do that she will look genuinely scared when Viconia asks you to hand her over

[anotherpapercut]

just officially sent in my resignation for my fucking childhood dream workplace