#and my family is gonna move at some point and I can’t live with them forever

[spookykestrel]

I wanna move out of state but have no plans or aspirations or anyone to move in wirh should I be really clingy and follow my best (and only close) friend to their college so I’m not lonely

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - We Are Surprised

Organized, in each category, with ones I'm enjoying most at the top.

May 2024 Wk 2

Ongoing Series - Thai

Wandee Godday (Sat YT) ep 2 of 12 - Oh it’s fucking great. It could all go horribly south, of course. But it’s awesome at the moment. Messy gay and one of them is already pining? Got to love it. Including the negotiation.

I’d love a good sex negotiation, it’s almost as good as linguistic negotiation. This show makes me happy. All that said, it’s moving awfully quickly for a 12 episode run. Not sure what’s gonna happen on the backend. 

My Stand-In (Thai Fri iQIYI) ep 3 of 12 eps - I’m still enjoying it but I’m ready for him to die again now. 

We Are (Weds iQIYI) ep 5-6 of 16 - Toey is going after the Namgoong Award for Best Wingman this year, I see. And in exchange, literally all the rest of the friends are going to be his wingmen. It’s adorable. I also like that Phuwin got to be the aggressor for the first kiss. I like that this is mostly just boys flirting, and not really any prescribed seme/uke stuff. In general, I think these last two episodes I improved the show in my regard a lot. But then middles are always GMMTV's strong point, it’s whether they can stick the landing that’s an issue.

Two Worlds (Thurs iQIYI) ep 9 of 10 - Apparently we have the Frodo walking into Mordor episode. Also the sides were cute. In Thailand (like Taiwan) all gangsters are gay, apparently. 

Only Boo! (Sun YouTube) ep 5 of 12 - It’s cute but very cringe and dorky. Silly singing. Terrible pickup lines. Still, that was a ridiculously charming confession.

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Unknown (Taiwan Tues YouTube & Viki) ep 12fin - Oh so good. Very few shows that feature one-sided long-term pining of this kind can resolve the unevenness of that power dynamic into a more stable and equal footing with such class. We really got to see the object of the desire turn completely around and become equally besotted. An age gap, stepbrothers trope like this one is hard enough but at this length? Very well acted boys! Unknown managed to show the older brother softening in a believable way that’s pretty unusual in narratives of this type.

All in all?

Unknown is a wonderful BL with a pitch perfect portrayal of long term pining, age gap, and the stepbrothers trope. The acting and chemistry are ON POINT (especially from the leads) which made the resulting characters very believable. When it dwells in intimate family drama, it's stunning. It's slightly less successful when it leaves the home and goes gritty. It's few flaws are the result of curtailed length. It could have used more breathing room to deal with side plots, characters, and companion character development. The editing was occasionally choppy and packed with flashbacks that broke the emotional tension. Still, those are mere quibbles. This is an excellent show that I know I'm going to be recommending a lot. 9/10

Finally Taiwan hits another one out of the park.

About.

Damn.

Time.

Blue Boys (Korea Sat YouTube) 4 of ? - Oh it’s so good, and they are so tortured and it’s just charming and I can’t EVEN. I just love it. I love that Korea is giving us this right now. You’re an idiot if you’re not watching this show, it’s truly spectacular.

At 25:00 in Akasaka AKA 25 Ji Akasaka de (Japan Thurs Gaga) ep 4 of 10 - Well well well Japan. I see how you kneed. I enjoyed this episode better than the first two, and I am way into our Bad Boy second lead. I can already feel myself succumbing  to the syndrome. Next week = the obligatory onsen ep! 

Living With Him AKA Kare no Iru Seikatsu (Japan Thurs Gaga) ep 5 of 10 - Omg most adorbs failed linguistic negotiation. 

Boys Be Brave AKA Roommates (Korea Thurs Viki) ep 5-6 of 8 - I love the side couple. It’s a shame we’re finally getting some truly great class conflict and it’s relegated to crumbs.

Love is like a Cat (Korea Mon Viki) eps 11-12fin - Well that was a waste of time. There was no connection (of any kind) between the leads. The language thing was hella weird and likely added to that. The past history of the Korean character was necessary to know from the start, its lack throughout, meant there was no depth to his character. They tried to tackle all the interesting stuff in the final 2 eps. AND they even killed the dog. I never thought I'd type this sentance, but Peach of Time is better.

I don’t know. 5/10 I guess

All in all:

A disappointing lackluster and barely cohesive BL about a jerk Thai actor (speaking Thai) who has to work for a Korean animal rescue cafe as a publicity stunt. It's difficult to believe the leads like each other, let alone fall in love. The acting is stiff, the characters lack motivation and cohesion, and there's not much to recommend this show beyond some pretty visuals. Also, they kill the dog. All in all, a disappointing and unsuccessful joint venture that mostly highlighted that between Thailand and Korea the style of BL, narrative approach, language cadence, and acting techniques all clash.

It's airing but...

Lady Boy Friends (Thai WeTV grey) 16 eps - reminds me a bit too much of Diary of Tootsies only high school. Not my thing. DNF unless it turns a corner and is truly amazing.

You Made My Day (Thai YT) ep 1 of 5 - mini series staring the I Will Knock You couple Tar & Bom, started but I couldn't find it. I also didn't try very hard.

A Balloon's Landing (Taiwan movie) trailer - A frustrated Hong Kong writer, Tian Yu, meets a Taipei street gangster, Xiang (Fandy Fan from HIStory2: Crossing the Line), and the two of them embark on a journey to find the Bay of Vanishing Whales. Along the way, they discover unexpected twists and turns and close bonds, which brings out the message that "there is always someone like you in this world who is waiting for you. This released to cinemas in Taiwan, no word on international release.

Memory in the Letter (Thai WeTV) - it's done, tell me if I should bother?

Fan's Only Corner

Someone asked in a comment (which tumblr promptly ate) about group sleepovers in BLs. It's happened a few times but the only one I can recall being noted and particularly lovely (and VERY college) was in Nitiman. There's also one in Lovesick.

Next Week Looks Like This:

5/16 Blossom Campus (Korea Thurs Gaga & iQIYI) ep 1 of 6 - Strongberry doing classic uni BL! Weeee!

5/19 OMG Vampire (Thai Sun ????) ep 1 of 10 - LeeFrank are back - not unlike the undead (as it were). But how do we feel about it? Unsure given their track record.

Upcoming BLs for 2024 are listed here. This list is not kept updated, so please leave a comment if you know something new or RP with additions.

May Releases

VBL (Taiwan) is releasing 4 'Special Episode' epilogues to their 4 2023 shows every Friday this month on Gagaoolala, Viki & Viu. Not sure on search terms or how to find these. (Or, frankly, if we need them.)

5/10 – You Are Mine

5/17 – VIP Only

5/24 – Stay By My Side

5/31 – Anti Reset

5/25 The Time of Fever AKA Unintentional Love Story 2 (Korea movie) trailer - HoTae & DongHee are back but unfortunately not in a cinema near me. Side couple from Unintentional Love Story, same actors, same character names. I love them. I NEED TO SEE THIS.

5/28 My Biker 2 (Thai movie YT?) - trailer

5/31 The Time of Huannan (Taiwan movie) - May not be BL

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

LOVE a smile kiss. Love it. Two killer kisses from PondPhuwin. Elegantly done, boys. Thank you very much.

I love them a lot all of a sudden. (All We Are)

It's hard to give MaxTul a run on their crown as best bodies in BL, but boy these two are giving it their, erm, best. (Wandee Goodday)

(Last week)

Streaming services are listed by how I (usually) watch, which is with a USA based IP, and often offset by a day because time zones are a pain.

The tag BLigade: @doorajar @solitaryandwandering @my-rose-tinted-glasses @babymbbatinygirl @babymbbatinygirl @isisanna-blog @mmastertheone @pickletrip @aliceisathome @urikawa-miyuki @tokillamonger @rocketturtle4 @blglplus @anythinggoesintheshire @everlightly @renafire

If ya wanna be tagged each week leave a comment and I will add you to the template. Easy peesy.

[punkpandapatrixk]

🥀Sad Bitch Lilith ♦︎ Timeless Pick A Card

We live in a world where being too kind, too sweet, too compassionate and forgiving could often lead to disastrous outcomes. This is after all a world where narcissists, sociopaths and psychopaths run free without much repercussion. A sweet girl can’t be pleasant all the time; a goddess needs to carry a machete from time to time.

What most people have yet to grasp, is that Venus and Lilith quite literally make each side of the Divine Femininity coin. Venus represents Light and Lilith represents Dark; even then, they could easily switch roles depending on the situation at hand. Only if you want—you are allowed to embody both Venus and Lilith in their respective glory.

Do you really want to become that kind of idiot who sends love and light to those who have done you much harm? You don’t have to force yourself to be the bigger person in a conflict that was created for the sole purpose of stripping you of power and autonomy. Enablers and gaslighters enforce that kind of idea so you make room for their terrible behaviour. WAKE. UP.

So many women in this world have at some point been a Sad Bitch Lilith at the hands of psychopaths, sociopaths and narcs in whatever role they play in their lives. Hopefully this reading serves to help you turn the narrative into SAVAGE LILITH. The Dark Moon Goddess who delights in revenge for she knows in it lies EDUCATION for the imbeciles who have foolishly disrespected her kind, sweet, friendly, feminine qualities. The Dark Feminine retorts,

‘RESPECT ME OR GET DESTROYED.’

Black Moon Lilith is a Goddess of Redemption. She takes into her own hands matters of delivering nightmare to those who have wronged her. She calculates in the dark. She doesn’t ask for permission. She's a wild woman. She punishes swiftly. She moves history.

She is Karma.

Karma paid in revenge glow up, BITCH🌹

SONG: I’ll Make You Cry by aespa

MOVIE: Gone Girl (2014)

[PAC Masterlist] [Part 1] [Part 3]

[Patreon] [Paid Readings]

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

Pile 1 – When My Tears Silently Turn to Diamonds

the way your beauty irritates people – 10 of Pentacles Rx

VIBE: I’m Unhappy by aespa

You’re somebody who’s perceived as abundant and superfluous by others. It’s super obvious from the way you look, the way you carry yourself, or even your family background. You just… exude a rich vibe—whether or not you actually come from old money. Damn, you just have it in you. It’s something you were born with. Even if you didn’t come from a rich background, or even if right now, for some reason you’re struggling with resources, no, honey, listen: it’s your fucking AURA.

People can see either you’re blessed since birth—with money, beauty, talents, whatever—or they simply can smell that you’re gonna make it big someday. Most people you’ve known in your environment, do not like this about you at all. It’s their own fault though, why in the name of fuck are they always comparing themselves to you? Did you ask for that? Never. But they’re always imagining how nice it would be in your shoes without knowing for realz your life story.

They project their insecurities at you even when you’ve never wanted to make anybody feel that way because of your presence. In many ways, I think you’ve tried so hard to make you look ordinary, or in some cases, you’ve tried to show a lot of care and generosity. You’ve tried to make everybody see that you’re just like them even if your circumstances are not exactly the same. It never worked though—maybe it’s even backfired.

Your abundance… is simply irritating to them because you’re surrounded by motherfucking losers, babe.

silencing the negative self-talk – XIX The Sun

VIBE: ASAP by NewJeans

You should be done feeling bad for being radiant. It’s not your fault other people are ugly. It’s not your responsibility that other people don’t have money. How are you at fault when a good company chooses you for the talents and skills you’ve developed which they need? Seriously, it’s none of your business if others wouldn’t work on themselves to be considered an amazing creature in society. You keep being you, honey. You and I know you’re always refining your natural talents and deepening your base knowledge. You’re truly a hustler even if others don’t see that.

When you’re not saddened or confused by others’ terrible attitude towards your blessings, your mindset is really positive like the Sun itself. Of all the Piles, I think your heart is the purest🤣You’re more generous than people give you credit for. You’re always trying to make everyone feel welcomed. If you were a party host, you’d make sure every single person has a good time in ways that suit them. You’re that attentive.

Unfortunately, your Light, indeed babe, seems to attract a lot of harmful bugs. No matter how much you give, it’ll never be enough and nothing you do will stop the gossip and badmouthing and backstabbing. Because essentially, these bottom-feeders are already bitter about their own pathetic lives. They hate you as much as they hate themselves for not having the courage to feel deserving of the abundance you’ve worked hard for.

S A V A G E – 4 of Wands

VIBE: Hurt by NewJeans

‘Leave them at the bottom of the grave they dug for you.’ – something I saw on Pinterest

Because you’re too kind, too giving, I think you’re the type of person who wouldn’t have the heart to leave people behind where they are miserable. Umm… you need to grow up a little bit more and finally see for yourself how pointless that is. You’re just one person, what makes you think you could save everybody? I hope you don’t yourself turn into a megalomania who thinks others wouldn’t survive without your charity.

Leave that toxic environment and you will regenerate yourself. As you do so, you become a vibrational match to some kind of a Soul Tribe situation where you’ll be met with people who aren’t the least bit parasitic. You’ve got to believe you’re deserving of a symbiosis mutualistic kind of relationships and friendships for them to manifest, OK?

As for the anklebiters? Hurt them with your leaving them. Hurt them with your totally ignoring and blocking them. I’m not saying you have to throw a brick at them for all the disrespect they’ve dealt on you. I’m sure your change of attitude will hurt the living shit out of them. And one day, when you’re famous and important, they’ll see you, alright. They’ll see you for all that you’ve always been capable of doing and they’ll regret they didn’t treat you better. And they’ll wallow in immense pain for not having access to you anymore. Nevermore. Leave them hurting in their shame and regrets. That’ll kill them😈

SWEET MOTHER OF REVENGE 🔻💙

VILLAIN ORIGIN STORY – Gold Physician (Herodotus)

Reclaiming Lilith – Priestess of Prosperity

Access full reading + cards on Patreon🌸

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

Pile 2 – You See This Glow-Up? NOW You Jelly

the way your beauty irritates people – Knight of Wands Rx

VIBE: 28 Reasons by Seulgi

First and foremost, you’re a damn rare beauty. I don’t care if you don’t think that highly of your physical appearance; bitch, you’re goddamn attractive. Take it or leave it. Your problem is that you act like you’re ordinary and that irritates the living shit out of your enemies because they think you’re fake. ‘How dare you act ordinary when you’re obviously that pretty. Are you mocking us??’ Yeah… Why the fuck are you surrounded by ordinary beauties? Have you got Venus squaring Pluto? Huehue~

Anyway, in any situation you’re an eye candy and everybody can see that. Maybe you’re dense enough to not see how others see you, but all these friends of yours, they’re hyper aware of how all eyes are on you the moment you slightly move. You stir the air in a way no other human does. It’s because there’s passion and authenticity in you that make you vibrate on a much higher level than most people. Really, you’re a rare gem but this could get you in danger a lot.

You’re the type of beauty that invites enemies actually because of your friendly disposition. Like, there’s this annoying gap that irritates people in ways even they don’t really understand. The gap between your intense beauty/attraction and your general politeness. You’re soft spoken, cheerful and helpful. For the most part, you’re a ball of joy and if you’re a girl, boys like you A LOT. You’re fun. You’re cool. You’re smart and creative. A lot funnier than people assume. You’re the IT GIRL. But the envious ones call you a pick-me LMAO

Envious girls put a lot of effort into brandishing you as a trashy character but by doing that, even the boys could see who’s the real G here. And well, wouldn’t that annoy their trashy asses further?🤷🏻‍♀️They’re literally ruining their own image by trying to ruin you🤡

silencing the negative self-talk – 8 of Wands Rx

VIBE: Forgive Me by BoA

Now that that’s out of the way, let’s have a heart-to-heart. Honey, you’ve got to stop pretending like you’re a sweet Venus all the time. You’re not. You and I know that. Deep down, there’s an evil bitch in you that wants to play with fire. I think you’ve tried to curb your Lilith practically your entire Life. Perhaps on a subconscious level you know this of you and you want to avert your eyes from looking at your Lilith. That’s how you seem fake sometimes.

Highly intuitive people can smell the Devil in you, but you act like you’re an angel all the time. And that’s annoying because your Lilith is literally a men-magnet and this often takes away attention from other girls but you act all innocent💩I’m not saying it’s your fault—I sense that for the most part, you don’t even consciously want this intense attention; I’m saying there’s this mechanism about how you’re perceived by your environment.

Aaand why do you think that is? Of course, because subconsciously, you want all of this attention. You always want to be wanted and liked and desired. You crave that shit so bad because when you were tinier you felt unseen. Un-understood. Unappreciated. Now, doesn’t matter who or how, you just want everybody to see you and want you, but you’re not gonna give them back any of that attention. You want to be unattainable. Actually, you are unattainable. You don’t easily let people get close to you. You don’t want people in your personal space. You just want the a t t e n t i o n.

S A V A G E – 5 of Wands Rx

VIBE: Savage by aespa

You know, this is all just a lil game to you. Deep down, you’re fighting this urge to snatch everybody’s boyfriends and husbands. Sometimes you get frightened by your evil desires because if you were unhinged, you’d want all these married people to want you more than they want their spouses. It’s not even that serious. You just want to come on top of everybody. You’re secretly envious of these little bitches who are—probably—loved by their spouses. And even when you can see there’s no Love in that connection, you’re still jealous that someone wants to commit themselves to these undeserving mediocre asses.

You feel all alone in this world. People are only nice to you because of your looks or whatever else that’s not even that important. And people are also nasty to you because of your looks and everything else that’s not even that important. It’s been one insanely difficult Life for you. You’re sad. You feel abandoned and unwanted in spite of all the shallow praises. And there’s this quiet rage inside that wants to punish everyone for not caring about the REAL you.

Bitch, grow up a little bit and you’ll see that low-quality people get married to their fellow mediocre asses. You don’t play in the same dimension as them so don’t lower your standards🤭One day you’ll see who’s gonna end up divorced and miserable because they all married the wrong people! Nah, that’s not even the important part LMAO The important part is when you’re the one marrying a Soul Mate after all of your spiritual and psychological glow-up that made you a vibrational match to so much REAL LOVE and you’re surrounded by all this money and beauty.

You never needed their kind of a glow-up; you were born perfection. You needed a different kind of confidence to SLAY and be very happy.

SWEET MOTHER OF REVENGE 🔻❤️

VILLAIN ORIGIN STORY – Red Magus (Edward Kelly)

Reclaiming Lilith – Priestess of Happiness

Access full reading + cards on Patreon🌸

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

Pile 3 – You Thought I’d Give It All to You

the way your beauty irritates people – 2 of Cups

VIBE: The Weekend by BIBI

You’re this absolutely weird mix of devil and angel in one body. You attract ALL kinds of people. Young, old. Men, women. Animals and toddlers are either terrified by you or LOVE you to oblivion. People always want something from you, right? They either simp for you or act like you owe them something—usually when their simping doesn’t pay off LMAO That’s really weird… Your entire existence is weird. I like that😉

You’re definitely giving, charitable, although in reality you’re really selective with whom you allow in your personal space. ‘Just because I’m friendly with you doesn’t mean I wanna be friends with you,’ kind of vibe. Nevertheless, people are silly, and they cultivate this weird intense desire within them. They build all these unnatural expectations around you having to give or share with them.

In their sick minds, they demand this. When you don’t humour them their sick demands, they get ULTRA bitter, probably even resentful. And then they seek to destroy you. Weird. Weird. Weird. You never even intended to lead them on. People are crazy when you’re around. The worst part is, they never even had your best interest at heart. They just wanted something from you—energy, attention, favouritism, gentle caress, who the hell cares.

How much Neptunian/Pisces/12th House energy do you have for you to be this way?😷HAHAH

silencing the negative self-talk – Page of Pentacles

VIBE: KAZINO by BIBI

Unlike the other Piles, you don’t seem to have a lot of neg self-talk. You’re sassy, bitchy, and you embrace your negative qualities because you see the value in them. Society ain’t perfect either anyway, what’s so wrong in being me the way that I am? You go, girlie~ You’re a total believer in revenge and vengeance. You ARE the definition of Lilith incarnate. Were you born with it? Did you develop yourself to be this way? Who the fuck knows—that’s your very own secret ingredient~

You’d rather let the mortals hurt and rot in their own stupidity than let yourself be the one to hurt. Unless you’re defending those you care about, you’re never sustaining hurt. You hurl lemons at all your enemies before they could get closer. Any step closer, you squirt that lemon in their eyes. Their fault. You warned them already! ‘Hey, I’m nice but I ain’t no saint,’ is your philosophy.

And when you’re really, really, really done with someone’s bullshit, you ain’t afraid to spill some blood. You’re gonna be smart about it though. You plan quietly and attack unexpectedly with a demonic angel smile on your face. ‘Send a message to your god; you’ve messed with the wrong bitch, BITCH.’

You are a menace to society👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

S A V A G E – XII The Hanged Man Rx

VIBE: Vengeance by BIBI

See, you are one sneaky bitch. Though you are a fucking menace to society, you know how to act righteous. You also know how to act like the victim should the occasion arise—but this is rare because you like to appear on top of everyone. Still, you’re quite masterful at creating sad or horrendous backstories that would justify your wreaking havoc upon your enemies, or even just society at large. Your sense of morality is kinda shrewd LMAO And I think that’s because you’ve been at the mercy of someone else’s shrewd behaviour before, probably when you were a lot younger.

That made you realise you never wanted to be the victim anymore. If anything, you’ll terrorise everyone so you maintain your own safety. WHEW. You’ve got your trust broken in authority. Their rules didn’t protect you or even hurt you. So, you believe new rules should be made in their place. You make your own rules and you don’t care if that hurts some people. You have this dicktionary explaining what kinds of dickhead are worth sacrificing to your new-world agenda.

🤣🤣🤣You’re CRAZY!

I believe in you. I think you could change the world. But I think you’re largely only interested in your own world. The whole world? That’s too much trouble. You aren’t keen on destroying your small queendom/kingdom in exchange for world domination—you smart like that. Keep at that. WHOA.

SWEET MOTHER OF REVENGE 🔻🧡

VILLAIN ORIGIN STORY – Green Magus (John Dee)

Reclaiming Lilith – Priestess of Divination

Access full reading + cards on Patreon🌸

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

[PAC Masterlist] [Part 1] [Part 3]

[Patreon] [Paid Readings]

[hopepetal]

Decided to do a bit of writing for the first session of secret life! Very slight spoilers for Grian's first episode below! (I took a lot of creative liberty)

--

There’s something achingly familiar about the sand underneath their feet. The way it shifts as they make their way through the desert– not their desert, but that’s alright– in search of resources and food. The sun beats down on them from above, and Grian has to give Scar a warning look. Don’t even think about taking your shirt off.

Scar grins back at him, and if they had been allies, he would’ve ignored that warning look to playfully annoy Grian as he had done many a time back in their desert. But this is not their desert, and they are not allies. There is no blood-forged loyalty between them, no soulbond tying their lives together. 

And yet, they had returned to the sand together, laughing softly at the awkward jokes that each other made. Drawn together by no one’s will outside of their own, Grian and Scar walk together under the desert sun like they are allies (they are not).

Grian’s feathers rustle as he notices a small grouping of cacti, hopping off of the camel with his stone axe in hand. His back aches slightly from the mildly uncomfortable ride– he still liked llamas more. This, he tells Scar as he begins to carefully chop the cacti and scoop them into his inventory. 

“I dunno!” he replies with a shrug, when Scar asks him why he doesn’t like camels as much. “Llamas are just more comfortable. And camels are really slow, I don’t know if you noticed that.”

Scar chuckles slightly, shaking his head. “This poor camel is workin’ his butt off to transport you back and forth, and look at how you treat him! Hatin’ on him, calling him names! You’re not too kind to your workers, G. Shame on you! Shame on you, I say.”

Grian rolls his eyes as he moves to collect the next cactus. “You’re so dramatic, Scar. I never said I hated camels.” The cactus falls, and Grian pushes it into his inventory with a little less care for the needles that prick his skin. “I just like llamas more. More comfortable on the rear, y’know?” 

Scar scoffs playfully, tutting softly in disappointment. “I never thought you’d discriminate based on butt comfortatibilital–” He cuts himself off with a slight frown– “comforta– comfortability!” His lopsided grin returns to his face as he moves over to the camel and reaches up to gently pet its rough fur. “Don’t listen to the meanie, Mr…!” He pauses, looking over at Grian. “Any name ideas?” he asks, and Grian lets out a disbelieving laugh.

“Scar!” Grian pauses in his cactus gathering and turns to face the other man, crossing his arms and raising his eyebrows. “You shouldn’t start naming every animal you see. It’s the life series, for goodness sakes. You know it’s either going to die or be stolen, and what are you going to do when you retaliate and then no one wants to ally with you?”

Scar pulls his lips together into a frown, pouting. “That’s just not gonna happen! Just you wait, G– I’ll be so useful and kind to everyone on the server that they’re all gonna be my allies! Yes sir, Scar Goodtimes is going to be a friend to all this season!”

Grian laughs. “Can’t wait to see how that one turns out,” he teases. “You have a bit of a history of either going off alone, or only having one friend.”

Scar gasps in mock surprise, though the hurt that shines so briefly in his eyes is real. “Grian! You can’t just say that to a man! And you know that is not true! I had Cleo and Bdubs last season! We were family!”

Grian rolls his eyes. “Yeah, so was boatem, and look at how we ended up.” He folds his wings behind his back as he turns back to the cacti, pulling his axe out once more as he begins to chop down the desert plants. He didn’t really even know why he wanted the cacti so bad– it wasn’t as if they were actually all that useful, other than some dye. 

It was at this point that Scar realizes just what Grian was doing, and stumbles forward with a yelp. “Hey! Hey there! I’m not letting you get the monopoly, mister!” He struggles to pull out his axe before swiftly chopping into the base of the cactus. “I’ve learned better by now!” he crows, scooping the fallen plant into his hands. And for a moment, he pauses, and silence falls over the two of them.

Scar seems to consider something, green eyes darkening from memories. He cups the small piece of cactus in his hands, careful to not let the needles prick into his skin. He looks up at Grian, down, then back up again. The silence continues to ring. 

Grian swallows, and the anticipation (fear? he thinks it might be fear) building in his chest makes him think that the stakes of this moment should be higher. That the number of lives should be lower. It makes him think that there should be a ring of cacti around the two of them, and that he should be gazing into red eyes.

But the eyes he meets are lime green. Wrong, but not red. The only cacti around are in Grian’s inventory and Scar’s hands. And the sand that shifts slightly beneath their feet is not pitted with explosions nor stained with blood. Grian realizes his feathers had begun to puff out and forces himself to calm down. 

It’s fine. He’s fine. 

Scar’s expression tells Grian he’s thinking the same thing. The silence crescendos into a deafening roar. 

Scar steps forward, and carefully places the cactus down on the sand in front of Grian. “I’ll let you have the monopoly,” he murmurs, and Grian chokes out a laugh as he picks up the cactus and puts that into his inventory as well. Scar gives him a grin and breathes out his next question. “Can we still be friends?”

Grian slowly blinks, and looks up at Scar. He takes a deep breath. Then another. The silence does not ring; it screams. 

Scar glances up and sees Grian there, staring at the cactus, and frowns. “Hey, G? You good?”

Grian blinks back tears, and nods. “...yeah. Yeah, I’m good. We can still be friends.” 

Friends. Not allies. Neither were quite ready to be the latter just yet. But it was a start. They left that desert– not their desert, they’d never quite leave that– alive and feeling the light sting of cactus needles pricking into their skin.

[tomsbly]

Ken number FIVE — Rex!

CW: Incest (I absolutely do NOT condone it irl, but this is a work of fiction. Putting this warning in so people who aren’t into that will enjoy the morph only and move on!)

Rex was always the typical younger brother: energetic, obnoxious, bratty, yet always everyone’s favorite. His behavior was always overlooked since he played sports, was doing alright at school and was one of The Boys. After blowing up on TikTok, he solidified his title as the popular, hot, fuckboyish guy. And his older brother, Cody, hated that.

He really, really wanted to be genuinely happy for his younger bro but his insecurities got the best of him. The timing was awful too. Rex, freshly 18, would be graduating high school this year and he was at his peak. Cody… Cody was not.

Being three years older than his brother, he was already in college, yet still living with his family. It was cheaper that way. He wasn’t really passionate about learning, but he didn’t have any other possibilities, or so he thought. He worked part-time, but the job sucked, he couldn’t work full-time because of college and he couldn’t even start a family since he and his long-term girlfriend broke up. While his brother was being his best, Cody was horny, alone and depressed.

With his newfound popularity, Rex found a lot of friends, mostly boys, muscular and fuckboyish, just like him. Since his parents weren’t at home most of the time, just him and Cody, he started inviting them over to hang out. You know, like the boys they were. They would play video games, listen to music, just chill and have a good time. But after several weeks it got kind of boring… Their solution? Alcohol. Cody was 21, so Rex begged to get them beer or some shit, so they can spice things up a little bit. Cody was hesitant at first, but then he thought:

“Why not? But only if you will all behave and won’t wreck the fucking house. You will be the ones cleaning up after.”

The boys agreed, so Cody got them some beer and vodka, too much vodka maybe. After leaving the teens with the booze, he went upstairs to his room to get some sleep. Two hours later, he was woken up.

Moans…

Loud banging…

Groans…

A loud “I’m coming… fuck…”

His heart sank to his stomach. Oh no. What has he done?

Cody ran downstairs to see the boys all naked, having some kind of an amateur, fucked up orgy. There were clothes everywhere, cum on the walls and empty bottles of lube on the floor. Rex saw his brother first, pulled out his dick out of his friend’s hole and slurred:

“Oh hi, Cody… We… um… we went a little wild, hehe… Do you wanna-”

“Rex, what the hell? You promised me everything’s gonna be alright!”

“Everything’s alright, bro..!” Rex was growing really tired at this point. “It is kinda your fault that we all fucked… you got us booze…”

“I- Rex, please…”

“Please what..?” Rex sighed. “Cody… if you get to fuck one of us, will we make it up to you?”

Rex smirked at Cody. He knew he hadn’t had sex with anyone in a while.

Cody blushed. He was exposed. And so was his bulge. Rex saw that.

“Oh… someone’s excited..!” Rex got on his knees and now was facing his older brother’s throbbing dick, still inside the boxers that he started to pull off.

“You know I can take care of you, Cody… Just don’t be mad…”

“Rex!” Cody recoiled. “I can’t fucking do this! You’re… you’re my brother! It’s wrong… I- I just…”

“It was also wrong to buy us alcohol…”

“How much did you drink?”

“Oh, enough to not… not think about… the future… or today… just let me suck you off and we’ll forget about it…��

“Rex, I-”

But even super drunk, Rex was quicker. He took off Cody’s underwear, now admiring the dick he only got glimpses of before. He started to suck his older brother off. Cody was shocked, but his bro’s mouth felt too good to stop. He gave in. After a minute, Rex looked up at Cody.

“Dude… I’m kinda… done… I can’t…”

“Oh, so you won’t even let me finish?”

“I…”

“Turn your fucking ass around.”

Rex was too out of it to not oblige. Cody spread his bro’s ass cheeks and a single drop of cum leaked out of his brother’s hole. Even though it was used today already, it didn’t stop Cody. Nothing could.

“I just need to cum somewhere, dude. And show your friends how it’s done.”

Cody grabbed onto his brother’s hips and started pounding his hole. With each fast, aggressive, almost careless thrust Rex was more and more lost. He didn’t know what to feel. Was it pleasurable? Forbidden? Embarrassing? He didn’t know and could only whimper as his older brother was close to finishing. None of Rex’s friends were in the right state of mind to stop this. Or remember it.

Even though the boys were all hungover the next morning, they did their best to clean up and were trying to piece together the events of the night. Rex’s best friend, Dawson, could actually remember the fact that they had sex and wanted to talk about it privately. So they came up to Rex’s room and he told his friend everything. Rex was shocked, but at least he lost his virginity to his best bro. But Dawson wasn’t the only one who remembered that night. Cody did too. And he heard everything. It was great to know that his brother was oblivious to who’s cum stained his underwear, so he kept quiet. For a few months, at least.

After several weeks, Rex developed some pregnancy symptoms. He obviously brushed them off as a stomach bug or stress or sleep deprivation or… He soon ran out of excuses. His “oh, it will go away in a few days” bloat didn’t go anywhere, so he was beginning to worry. He could still hide his "bloated" belly under a hoodie at school, but it was April already. This won’t work for long, especially at the gym.

He always went there with his friends, his bros. They all wore either tight or super loose clothes to show off their bodies and loved to go shirtless. But Rex couldn’t do that anymore. His friends were questioning the fact he wore a 3XL t-shirt all the time and didn’t take it off at all. He was so confident before, what happened. Dawson noticed it first. One day they went to the gym alone. After their normal workout, it the locker room, Dawson asked Rex that question.

“Dude, what’s going on with you? You can tell ME, you know…”

“Daws, I- I don’t really wanna talk about it…”

“About what?”

“Ugh…”

Rex turned to his friend and lifted up his shirt to reveal his three-month bump that he tried so hard to conceal. Dawson was puzzled.

“You’re afraid of a… bloat?”

“It’s not a fucking bloat, dude. It’s not going away. I don’t even gain weight anywhere else, so it’s not fat. And I am sick a lot… I just… I don’t know…”

He took off his shirt completely, putting his belly on display. Dawson got closer and touched it. It clicked.

“Dude… Do you think I knocked you up that night..?”

Rex’s heart sank to his growing stomach.

“I… Wh… I can’t! You can’t! I can’t have a fucking baby! I- It’s not…”

“Rexy, please, calm dow-”

“HOW THE FUCK CAN I BE CALM WHEN I FIND OUT THAT I AM FUCKING PREGNANT WITH YOUR CHILD. I AM FUCKING EIGHTEEN. I AM A FUCKING ALPHA, DUDE.”

“REX, STOP IT FOR FUCK’S SAKE. IT MIGHT NOT EVEN BE A PREGNANCY, WHAT THE HELL DUDE??”

Rex shut up. They changed without talking to each other. They caught a few weird looks from men on their way out, but it wasn’t as bad as Rex trying to buy a pregnancy test. He told the cashier it was for his girlfriend, but did it so awkwardly that they only chuckled in response.

As soon as he got home, he locked himself in the bathroom and did the test. The five minutes of development felt like an eternity. Then, he looked at it.

Positive. Of course it was positive.

He couldn’t believe it for a few seconds, but then it hit him. He could be a father. He could give birth. It was terrifying. He clutched his belly and started crying. It was too much. Even after sex ed. I happened to him, and now what?

He was crying loud enough for Cody to hear him. He knocked on the bathroom door.

“You alright there, dude?”

“…”

The crying has stopped, but something was definitely up.

“Hey, what happened, man? Can I come in?”

Rex opened the door without saying anything. Cody came in.

“Why are you crying, dude. You haven’t cried like this in a while…”

Rex didn’t know what to say. He was holding on to the positive test in the pocket of his trousers.

“Please… Please don’t tell mom and dad…”

“What… Did you fucking kill someone?”

“It might be worse…”

Rex took the test out of his pocket and gave it to his brother.

“It’s mine, Cody…”

“What the- DUDE. That’s- That’s… cool..?”

The thought of his brother being pregnant with his child struck Cody mid-sentence.

“I don’t fucking know what to do. It’s Dawson’s… He told me that he fucked me that night you bought us booze. I found cum on my und- Fuck, dude, it’s so embarrassing.”

Cody was trying to come to his senses. He couldn’t figure out if his brother possibly being pregnant with their child was creeping him out or turning him on.

“Did you think about abortion? I mean, it’s so early to have a kid.”

“I want to talk to Dawson first. Maybe he wants it, even if it’s not from a girl… I just… I can’t…”

Rex hugged his older brother and started crying again. Cody didn’t bring himself to tell the truth, so he hugged Rex with his left hand and put his right on his bro’s belly.

“It will be okay. I promise. If you decide to keep it, I’ll help you out.”

Rex didn’t stop crying.

He told Dawson about the baby the next day. As Rex thought, he was actually down to become a dad. Probably because he wasn’t the one carrying.

Rex kept the baby.

He and Dawson graduated during the first week of May. Even though it was getting hot in California, the robe covered Rex’s belly up. They didn’t know if they were in a relationship at that point. They separated from the friend group and only hung out with each other. Dawson started to feel something towards Rex, but he still wasn’t sure. Rex was only able to be free with Dawson. And his brother. He was only comfortable being shirtless with him and Cody. Only they could touch the bump. Dawson was very gentle. He began to kiss and rub his bf’s belly and Rex didn’t resist. It felt nice. It felt warm.

The fact that he kind of disappeared from social media didn’t help his image. The last things he posted were some selfies from when he was only about 10 weeks along. His fans started to question his absence and it was getting to Rex’s head. He should do something, post something, come clean to everyone.

That’s why he decided to take some pictures on their upcoming vacation. Rex, Cody and Dawson planned to go to Miami for a week to relax. Rex was hesitant before, but now he was the most eager of the three to go. Dawson couldn’t make it because of his new job he took up and Rex and Cody went alone.

The next few days were spent on the beach, tanning, swimming of just napping in the shade, Rex’s preferred pastime. The pregnancy was getting to him. Reaching the fifth month of pregnancy, Rex’s energy was fluctuating. He would be filled with energy one day and just barely making it out of bed the next day. Most of the time, he just wanted to sleep. After six days of this, Cody wanted to do something different. He wanted to go out. Maybe he could find a girl to bring back with him.

Rex was absolutely against it, his sleepiness and gravid belly were the reasons he stayed at the hotel napping and looking through the photos taken by his brother a day before. The beach, their lunch, and a ton of photos of the bros: Rex putting on sunscreen on his belly, him sunbathing, eating lunch, him and Cody flexing on the beach, Cody’s sunburnt back, his nudes… Rex shivered and brushed it off. He chose one picture to post, taken at the balcony of their hotel room. No caption, no hashtags, the photo will say it all.

2 AM. Rex finally decided to post this picture, so everybody could find out what happened first thing in the morning. He texted Dawson that he’s going to finally do it and tapped “Post”. As soon as the picture was online, he turned off his phone. He just wanted to sleep calmly for a final time. Five minutes later, a drunk Cody opened the room’s door.

He was shirtless and barefoot, his shorts barely staying on his hips, covered in stains.

“Heeyyyyy maaaaan, how’s it goinnn?” If it was obvious to Rex before, Cody was really drunk.

“Dude, what the- How much did you drink?”

“A few beers, some shots, I don’t really remember. Does it even matter?” Alcohol made Cody go angry in seconds.

“Yes, it does. We’re not even home. What were you thinking?” Rex gulped.

“Don’t you fucking remember the night I got you knocked up? You were so drunk you can’t even remember how you begged for my cock and let me breed you?”

Rex’s heart skipped a beat. Cody sobered up in an instant. Rex felt a flutter in his belly. His baby kicked for the first time.

Their baby.

[nycbaby21]

A Kiss on the Cheek

prompt: meeting the Hughes family doesn't go as good as either of you hope (angsty)

word count: 4,331

*It hurt me to make them all mean and to write this*

“Would you stop fidgeting? It’s going to be fine baby. They are gonna like you, trust me,” Quinn’s voice interrupts my anxious thoughts about meeting his family. I look down and notice I am picking at my fingers, so I put my hands face down on my lap. I glance over at Quinn who is concentrating on driving, I honestly wonder how I got so lucky to be with him. We met at the sports bar I worked at in Vancouver. The team walked in to celebrate a win, and Quinn walked out with my phone number. I didn’t even know who he was, or what he did for a living until our third date.

“Sorry,” I mumble quietly. My nerves are through the roof right now. The Hughes family, especially the brothers, are one of the closest families I have ever seen. I know that Quinn values their opinion more than anything else. He once called Jack and Luke to weigh in on the new couch he was buying. “Hey would you look at me please,” he says stopping at the stop sign. I look over and he smiles at me.

“You know after you stop you can go right,” I laugh trying to get out of this conversation. “Really? I had no clue. Good thing I have you to keep me informed,” he joked rolling his eyes at me. He reaches across the console, grabs one of my hands, and brings it to his lips. “Y/n, I wish you could see yourself the way I do. You are literally the best thing that has ever happened to me,” he says sweetly looking over with loving eyes. “Even more than hockey,” I ask raising an eyebrow, joking with him now. “Okay second best,” he says and I slap his chest playfully.

“Thank you, Quinny,” I say leaning over and kissing his cheek. “You don’t have to thank me, baby. But if you wanted to, I think I need a little more than a kiss on the cheek,” he says leaning towards me a connecting our lips. I smile into the kiss and can’t help but fall more in love with Quinn Hughes. We hadn’t said that out loud yet, but I knew how I felt about him. A horn honking snaps us apart. He laughs and drives forward while I sink into my seat embarrassed.

We pull up to his parent’s house he turns off the car. He had already unbuckled and opened his door before I even made the first move. He walks around the car, leans over gently unbuckles my seatbelt, and opens my door. He puts his hand out for me to grab as he pulls me out of the car. I smile up at him and he leans down giving me one more reassuring kiss. We break apart and I notice people watching us from the window.

“Hey, if you are uncomfortable at any time you’ll tell me, right? Because they can be a lot and I think some of Jack’s friends are here. If they say anything I’ll kick their ass okay,” he adds the last part trying to make me smile. I give him a closed-lip smile and lace our fingers together as we walk up to the door. Before he can even open the door, it is flung open, and a brunette boy a little taller than Quinn, who I know is Jack, launches himself on my boyfriend. I smile at just how close they actually are.

“Okay, Jack enough. Let him come in okay,” I hear a female voice come from further in the house. Quinn ushers me inside first and follows closing the door. We shed our jackets and I finally turn a see a room full of people staring at me. I give them a shy smile and feel my legs turning into jello. “Everyone this is Y/n. Y/n this is my mom and dad, Ellen and Jim. And over there is Luke, Trevor, Alex, and Cole. And of course Jack,” Quinn says pointing everyone out to me. I give a quick nod already knowing their names from studying them on the way here.

“It’s so nice to meet all of you. Quinn has told me all about you. And thank you for inviting me into your house,” I say turning to face his parents. His dad gives me a small smile and reaches forward to shake my hand. His mom stared at me for a second and then ran to the kitchen after hearing a beep. I shrugged it off, thinking I was just being sensitive and overthinking everything. After everyone greeted Quinn, he moved over to the couch and I quickly followed suit. 

The guys were playing some video game on the tv and Quinn was quickly sucked into it. I tried to keep up but I had no idea what they were talking about. I just sat back and nodded or looked up at the screen trying to follow. “You wanna try,” Jack asks pushing the controller towards me. I open my mouth to say no thank you but before I can Luke interrupts,” She can try later okay? I really wanna beat this before Quinn has to go. No offense or anything to you.” I brush it off and nod saying it was fine. Jack looked over and gave me a sorry look. The guys were so into the game, that no one noticed I had gotten up and followed the sound of voices to the kitchen. I was going to offer to help with dinner, but I stopped in my tracks after actually hearing what they were saying.

“El, come on you can’t already hate the girl. They just got here,” Jim whispers to his wife. Ellen didn’t even try to lower her voice. “Jim I don’t hate her. I’m just saying I want the very best for Quinn and I just don’t think that’s her,” she says walking around the kitchen. “Sweetheart. We don’t even know her yet. I mean I loved Ex/n just as much as you did, but that doesn’t mean we can cast this girl off,” he says following his wife from the kitchen to the dining room.

“How do you know she isn’t just using him for money, Jim? I mean we know nothing about this girl. Nothing. Quinn used to talk all the time about Ex/n. He has only ever mentioned this girl once. And that was to tell me she was coming for the weekend with him.” My eyes filled to the brim with tears and I had heard enough. I understood how they were still close with his ex. His mom still followed her and commented on her things. They were together a long time so I completely got that. But hearing that he didn’t talk about me like I did him to my mom hurt. Also, I felt like I wasn’t even getting a fair chance.

As I turned around to go back to Quinn I bumped into Jack. My eyes go wide and I glance at the kitchen. He gave me a look filled with pity and I knew that he had heard the whole thing. He went to open his mouth to say something when I cut him off,” Jack hey, didn’t see you there. I was just heading back.” We both knew I was lying but he chose not to say anything and followed me back into the living room. “Hey, baby. Where did you go? I didn’t even notice you were gone,” Quinn says looking over to me.

“Sorry, I just had to call Mom and let her know we made it. You know how she gets,” I laugh and out of the corner of my eye, I see Jack look our way. I cut him a look pleading him not to say anything. He sighs but nods and turns his attention back to the game. When I turn I see Trevor and Luke staring between me and Jack. I tried to ignore it and curled into Quinn’s side. I started picking at my fingers again, this time Quinn didn’t notice.

As we all sit down for dinner my stomach drops to the floor. In the big bowl in the center of the table was a shrimp alfredo dish. I have a small seafood allergy and couldn’t eat what she had cooked. I already felt awful from the words I heard from the kitchen earlier, so now how would they feel when I didn’t eat? Quinn hands me a plate and smiles down at me before fixing his own. I sign and tell him thank you. I pushed the food around and ate some of the noodles here and there when someone would look my way. My throat would be scratchy later but nothing too serious would happen from just a couple bites.

“So how did the two of you meet,” Jim asks breaking the awkward silence at the table. All eyes are on Quinn and I,” we meet at the bar she works at.” I know I shouldn’t feel ashamed about what I do for work, I really enjoyed it. But something about sitting at a table full of professional hockey players, future professional hockey players, and their parents made me feel so self-conscious. “You work at a bar,” Cole asked looking my way. I knew he didn’t mean it the way I took it but it made my face flush. “Yeah, I wait tables at this sports bar in downtown Vancouver,” I finally say after drinking almost my whole glass of water.

“The guys and I went out one night after a game to this new bar near the arena. Y/n was our server for the night,” Quinn said proudly putting his hand on the top of the table. “I’m working on my degree so I work at the bar at night to help pay for school,” I say hoping that would give me some brownie points. I guess that was enough because the conversation was quickly changed and never revisited. “Oh Quinny did you see that Ex/n got that role in the movie,” Ellen asked excitedly. I tensed up and tried to distract myself. I felt a small nudge under the table and looked across to see Jack. He sends me a smile and I return it. At least one of them liked me, or he just pitied me.

“Oh yeah, I did. She called me after she found out. Said the only reason she got it was because of all the practicing I helped her do for it,” my boyfriend explained to his mom. She let out the biggest smile and it made my already broken heart completely shatter. Quinn hadn’t told me that they had talked. “Oh, I would love to talk to her,” his mom gushed. I sat in my chair rethinking and overanalyzing every little detail of our relationship. I knew I was going to cry and didn’t need anyone to see. “Hey, I’m gonna run to the bathroom real quick,” I whisper to Quinn, who just nods and keeps talking to Luke about something.

I head down the hall looking for a bathroom when a voice from behind me scared me. “You can use the one in my room if you want,” Jack said and I let out a deep breath knowing it was him. I smiled and followed him to his room. By the time I made it to the door, the floodgates opened. I quickly shut the door and locked it. I sat on the floor and cried trying to keep myself quiet. I heard some ruffling outside the door and noticed a shadow on the other side. “I know this is a dumb question, but are you okay,” Jack asks through the door. “Yeah I’m fine,” I sniffle trying to pull myself together. “I can go grab Quinn if you want,” he started but I interrupted him. “Please don’t,” I said louder than I realized.

“Okay okay, I won’t. Is there anything I can do,” he was being really nice to me and I wondered why the rest of them didn’t. “No. I promise I’m fine. I’m just super emotional. It’ll pass,” I croak out my throat already getting irritated from the small amount of food I ate. “There is a cup next to the sink I use to rinse my mouth, I know it’s weird because you don’t know me. But you should fill it up and drink something your voice sounds shaky,” he says with a slight worry in his voice. I leaned over and unlocked the door. I see the middle Hughes brother leaning against the wall. 

“It’s not from the crying. Well that probably isn’t helping, but I actually have a small seafood allergy,” I say hating the look he gives me. “Why the hell did you eat then,” he raises his voice and I quickly shushed him. “Keep your voice down, please. You heard them in the kitchen earlier, I didn’t wanna give them another reason to hate me. So I ate it. I’m not gonna die or anything. My throat is just scratchy and my eyes are puffy,” I say leaning back against the bathroom cabinet.

Jack crawls into the bathroom and sits opposite me leaning against the bathtub. “I’m really sorry about my parents,” he says after some time. “It’s okay,” I reply automatically. “No, it’s not. I know how bad it sucks trying to prove to someone you are worth it. I went through that and I wouldn’t wish that on anyone. So no it is not okay,” he was very different than I imagined him. From Quinn’s stories, he was this goofy energetic guy who couldn’t sit still, but he was being so calm and serious right now. “Yeah I guess you’re right,” I whisper. “Are you gonna tell Quinn,” I ask looking up at him. He looks back at me conflicted. “I won’t tell him tonight. But if you haven’t by tomorrow I will.” The deadline he had given me made me sick to my stomach.

I stand up and splash cold water on my face. I try and make myself look somewhat presentable and turn around to see Jack leaning against the doorframe. “Thank you, Jack. It really made me feel better,” I say and he pulls me into a hug. I hear footsteps walking away from us and jump away from him. “Oh no,” I say rushing out of the door towards the hall. I make it to the kitchen just in time to see Luke telling Quinn what he just saw.

In his defense, it probably did look bad, but maybe if he had actually stopped for two seconds he would have known. “What the hell,” Quinn stands up from the couch and looks my way. By that time Jack had walked in and looked around the room. “Quinn? Are you still there,” I hear a voice coming from his phone and this time I don’t try and hide the tears. I knew who it was, I made myself watch all of her movies one night. “Hold on sweetie he’ll call you back,” Ellen says and hangs up the phone. 

“You wanna say something or just stand there,” I have never heard him this mad. “Her say something? Quinn why don’t you say something,” Jack says walking forward and standing even with me. Quinn’s eyes shoot between the two of us and his nostrils flare. He was angry, and he had every right to be. But if he had every right, so did I. ”I’m sorry what the hell does that mean? Because from this side of the couch, it looks a lot like my girlfriend is all over my brother,” his words are laced with venom. Jim stands up and puts himself between the boys. “Quinn nothing is going on! Jack was just comforting me,” I say with a rough voice.

“Sure sounds like something happened,” he says face red with anger. I step back a step away from him, which only upset him more. “We have seen you all night looking at Jack. And every time he goes somewhere you go to,” Luke says defending one brother while glaring at the other one. “Unless you can give me the truth about what happened, I think maybe you should go,” his words pierce my heart like an arrow. “What,” I ask tears falling down my face at this point. 

“The truth Y/n. And if you lie to me we are through,” he says stone-faced. I shake my head not even believing what is happening right now. I hoped all of this was some nightmare I was about to wake up from. “You honestly think I would come into your parent’s house and try and get with your little brother,” I ask not caring how rude I sounded. “Unless you give me a reason to think otherwise yes.” I shake my head and grab my jacket from the rack. “Where the hell do you think you’re going,” he asks following me. “You said leave so I am.” I opened the door and walked out not bothering to shut it. 

The cold night air sent chills down my spine, but I think I would rather freeze than be inside that house any longer. The part that put the final nail in the coffin was that he let me walk out and he didn’t try to stop me. It was dark and I had no idea where I was. I reached in my pocket for my phone and I realized it was left on the table. “Fuck,” I let out all my emotions. I remembered a small diner not too far away so I started walking. I didn’t stop until I got there and noticed an older man locking the doors. “Excuse me are you closing,” I ask tears streaming down my face. He looks up at me and his eyes widen. I must look terrible and scare him.

“Eugene, honey grab my sweater from the truck please,” I hear a feminine voice come behind me. A nice older lady put her hand on the small of my back and ushered me into the building. “If you are closed I can leave,” I try and walk out but her grip is strong for an old lady. “Sweetheart there is no way I am leaving you outside in all of this,” she says sternly and leads me to a stool at the bartop. She quickly walks towards the back and I hear her clattering around. I feel something on my shoulders and see Eugene wrapping her sweater around me. I send him a sweet smile and his wife is back with three cups of hot chocolate.

“Alright sweetie get to talking,” she says patting my arm. I look between the two of them and sigh. I tell them the whole story, from meeting Quinn in Vancouver to tonight. They never once interrupted or made me feel like a burden for dumping my problems on them. “Here let me get these dishes and we can take you to a motel for the night and figure out the rest tomorrow,” Eugene says gathering up the cups and walking to the kitchen. Martha, his wife, put her hand on top of mine and smiled at me. “I’m sorry all this happened to you. Michigan really is a wonderful place. I hate your visit wasn’t,” she said. As they close up shop for the second time tonight, I wait for them outside their truck. Everything in me said don’t get in with them, but what else could I do? My thoughts are shut down when I hear someone yelling my name.

“Y/n, oh my gosh. I’m so glad I found you. You scared the shit out of me. Please don’t ever do that again,” Quinn rushes towards me wrapping me in his arms. I let him for a second and then I push him off. He looks at me and I can tell he has been crying. I hear a door shut and see Jack get out of the car and walk over. “Who are you two,” Eugen says walking over and putting himself in front of me. Martha pulled me into a hug, noticing I was crying again. “I’m her boyfriend Quinn. Who are you,” his voice is mixed with confusion and anger. Who the hell was this guy trying to “protect” you from him?

“Last time I checked I didn’t have one of those,” I say staring him dead in the eyes. His whole face dropped. Jack stayed a little ways back and watched everything go down. “Baby, please don’t say that. You don’t mean it,” Quinn says stepping closer. Eugene slides over blocking me once again. I step out of Martha’s embrace and put my arm on Eugene’s shoulder. He looked down at me and I nodded my head at him. The two older people step back and lean against their truck watching the whole thing. I walked towards the man I loved and frowned. 

He took my actions as forgiveness and opened his arms. “No Quinn, I do mean it. You can’t actually believe after everything that just happened, I was just gonna jump in your arms and we ride off in the sunset?” He closed his arms and his body shook from the sob that left his mouth. “I will never ever be able to apologize enough for tonight. And I don’t think you should forgive me,” he says through tears. Seeing him like this hurt me, but he hurt me more. “Jack told me everything,” that was all he had to say. I looked behind him at the younger boy and he nodded.

“So you believe him? But not me,” I whisper barely being able to talk. “Y/n/n, please.” I shake my head. “Please what Quinn? I don’t know what you want from me,” I scream back frustrated. Jack walks forward and stands between us. I felt like shit putting him in the middle of us. “Please don’t leave me. I know I don’t deserve your forgiveness. I know I hurt you more tonight than I have ever hurt anyone else. I know that if you tell me to right now I will walk away,” he started,” but you know what else I know? I know that I have never been happier than I have in the past months with you. I know that I screwed up my chance at happiness tonight. And I also know that I may just lose the girl I love because of my own stupidity.”

After his speech, he just dropped to the ground and cried. I look away from him and to Eugene and Martha. Then I look over at Jack, who is already staring at me. “You love me,” I ask squatting down in front of him. He picks his head up and looks me in the eye. “Of course I do, I just have the shittest way of showing it I guess,” he says and a small laugh leaves my lips. His face perks up at that. “I love you too,” I say wiping the tears away from his eyes. He grabs my wrist and holds them in place. He seemed scared that I would disappear if he let go. He closed his eyes and finally took a normal breath.

“I don’t deserve it,” he says opening his eyes and looking over at me. “You know the funny thing, Hughes, you don’t get to decide that,” I say dropping down to my knees and moving my arms around his neck. He doesn’t wait another second and his are around my waist. He holds me tighter than he ever has before. “I am gonna spend every day for the rest of my life making up for the way I treated you tonight,” he says into my hair. “I know you will. You are a good man, Quinn, I think we just both got a little insecure tonight,” I say back. He nods and holds me while we sit on the ground outside the diner in the freezing air.

When we got back to the house I figured everyone was asleep. I followed Jack inside and saw everyone sitting on the couches with worried looks. Their heads snap up when they hear us walk in. “Oh thank the lord,” Ellen says rushing over. She stopped right before she got to me and looked at me. I nodded my head and she wrapped me up in her arms. “I am so sorry for the way I treated you tonight. I judged you before I even knew you and almost ruined everything,” she cried and I shook my head. “It’s gonna be all right. We can start over,” I say and she pulls back. “I would really like that,” she says wiping some tears from her face. Slowly everyone started going to bed and it was just Quinn and me.

“I waited until I was with you to do this,” he says as I get in bed next to him. I look over and he pulls out his phone and blocks his ex on everything, and then her number. “Quinn you didn’t,” he cut me off. “Yes, I did. I am a happily taken man who doesn’t need any contact with my ex,” he says looking down at me. I smile and give him a small kiss on the cheek. “I never thought I would be so happy for a kiss on the cheek in my life,” he said making me laugh. “Baby steps, Quinn,” I say laying my head on his chest. I knew we would have to have a longer talk, and that everything wasn’t going to be fixed immediately. Things were gonna take time, but I knew Quinn was worth it.

[princessamericachavez]

I still can’t believe how unhinged the couch thing is.

In s5 we see that Taylor brings her couch into the loft even though Buck has one and they have a problem from the get go because both couches (aka their personalities, their lives, their wants) do not fit in at the same time. They are both too attached to their own individual lives and goals to actually share a life. There’s no space for both of them in that home.

Ok anyway moving on Taylor is gone and we have an empty space where she forced her couch into Buck’s space.

Anyway, my point is: 6x1 we have the whole couch conversation and it’s always been such an OBVIOUS metaphor for Buck and Eddie’s relationship that it drives me insane.

“You know, I think it’s weird that he’s struggling to pick a replacement when he has so many excellent options right under his nose.”

“Like you?”

“It’s like he’s choosing not to see them and everything they have to offer.”

In the same season where we now know that Eddie will be exploring his dating options and going out with other people?????? Are you kidding me???????????

Buck saying this while he cooks for Eddie and Chris???? While he offers food and comfort??? In a show that has consistently utilized cooking and feeding others as a clear metaphor for love and family?!?!

And they even hammer it in again!!!

“What are you offering?”

“Right now, Bobby’s famous lasagna.”

I need to talk about thisssss. Because not only have we been presented with the idea of food as love and nurturing but also cooking as personal growth, about learning to nurture yourself and others and getting out of the darkness. Think about Bobby after joining the 118. But also think about Maddie being impressed by Buck “growing up” represented by Buck having learned cooking skills from Bobby. Think about Eddie going to therapy and swapping recipes with Linda and learning to be better and look after himself after getting chewed off by his dad for burning breakfast for his mom and sisters.

What Buck is offering is his own growth as a person. Is saying “I’ve put myself back together”. It’s saying “I’ve been working on myself for five years to become a better man”. It’s saying “it’s taken me several tries but I’m finally getting there.”

And of course after all that it’s when we go fully into the couch metaphor. It’s hard to say much about this dialogue that hasn’t been said before, but mostly I want to highlight that, for Buck, this metaphor is tightly tied to romantic relationships. “My last two couches came with girlfriends” and “maybe I don’t want to pick the wrong couch again”. But it’s also the fact that Buck picks his chair to take the couch’s spot for now. That is Buck. Buck being single.

The whole metaphor could’ve simply been about Buck realizing he doesn’t need a relationship to define him and who he is and that he should choose his own path and create a space in his home for himself. But if that was the case he would’ve just bought a couch for himself. The single chair represents his single path at the moment. The couch will be a romantic metaphor.

All of this to say that it’s absolutely unhinged that this is the last shot of Eddie we see in 6a.

And this comes after a) Buck called to give them the baby news, b) Eddie looked less than pleased at the reveal, c) Eddie hung up saying he was gonna try to get some sleep before taking Chris to school.

Except we see him drop the controller here. So he clearly kept playing. Even though he looked quite frustrated there. Fighting with himself. Anyway clearly something was bothering him.

What’s insane to me is that we cut immediately from this shot to Buck sleeping and the whole baby onesie shot. And I don’t think it could be any more obvious that we are meant to connect these two dots. Especially when we see them in the same montage as Henren and Maddnie sleeping together on their respective beds. And we know Buck’s whole donor thing was partly motivated by other things, like his need to be useful to others and save everyone, but also his eternal search for family and perhaps a call to fatherhood (even though he’s clearly not struggling with separating the idea as everyone expected).

Anyway, I do think having Eddie sleep on his couch rather than his bed was certainly A CHOICE. and it feels even more obvious when we know what happens in 6b.

I love that the Buckley’s brought up Buck’s lack of couch an episode before. HEY REMEMBER THIS? And it’s so much A Thing that we see that even Maddie gets it.

Which is so important considering the very. next. episode. we are going to get the most obvious callback to this metaphor in the shape of Buck finally finding rest and peace at Eddie’s couch?!?!?!

THEY ARE SO UNHINGED FOR THIS

And then they go as far as to have Buck point out “how did I pass out so fast?”

Like boyyyyyy you’re this ���🏽 close to figuring it out!!!!!!!

Anyway I cannot WAIT to see how they bring it up again and how Margaret’s couch finds its demise and especially knowing Buck’s very last scene of the season will touch back on the metaphor.

It will be so insane if they actually pull this off!!!!!!!

[joedirtymadre]

Love your stories with Law and Corazon 😍. Can i request one too? I would love a familyscene with Cora, his SO and Law (they adopted him). The three live happily in a big house together. Someday they tell him that he's going to be a big brother (Coras girlfriend is pregnant). Law doesn't know how to feel. Old memories of Lamy come back and Law is afraid that they won't love him so much anymore.

The Test Results

CORAZON X READER! FAMILY FLUFF! (PLEASE SEND MORE REQUESTS! I GET REALLY HAPPY WHEN YOU SEND THEM! 😭)

“Law come on down, it’s time for lunch,” you called out as you finished making some onigiri. “Did you make onigiri?” He asked as he ran downstairs. “Yep, just the way you like it,” you smiled as you placed the plate down on the small round dining table.

Law quickly ran over to the chair and began eating. “Hey slow down! Before you choke,” you sighed as you handed him a cup of juice. “Fank you,” he chewed. “(Y/N)! Law!” You heard your husband call out, as he entered the house. “Hi honey, come sit I made onigiri,” you said. “Onigiri? For the fourth day in a row?” Corazon pouted. “Law asked for it again,” you explained. “This is favoritism,” Corazon said as he pointed to Law. Law responded by blowing a raspberry at him.

“Why you!” Corazon glared. “Ahh… (Y/N) he’s gonna get me,” Law said with a monotone voice as he ran behind me. “Stop bullying the 13 year old!” You playfully scoldEd him. “My own wife… betrayed me,” Corazon pouted and slowly walked over to the table. “Don’t worry, tonight I’ll make you some katsudon over curry and rice,” you said as you placed down the rice balls.

“Really?” Corazon asked enthusiastically. “Yep! Now Law can you go into my room and bring me the load of laundry I need to do. Plus yours,” you said, as you began washing the dishes. “K,” he said as he walked upstairs.

Law’s POV

I slowly walked into (Y/N) and Corazon’s room. I searched around, until I noticed the hamper by their desk. I went over to pick it up, “Why is this thing so heavy? It’s gotta be Corazon’s cape…” I said as I struggled to pick it up. While trying to lift it up, I knocked into their desk. Causing some papers and books to fall. “Dang it…” I sighed to myself as I walked over to pick up the stuff I knocked over.

I picked up the last paper on the floor, and noticed (Y/N)’s name on the top. “What’s this?” I asked as I read the document.

Patient Name: (Y/N)

Date: 5XX

Time: 13:07

Reason for Visit: Nauseousness

I am Dr. Shivell, contacting you to congratulate you on your recent test results. Your pregnancy results came back positive. Contact me via transponder snail to schedule your next appointment.

My hands trembled while holding the paper. “P-Pregnant?” I asked. “But…” my mind raced. What if they don’t want to care for me anymore? What if they abandon me? What if I hurt the baby? Or I can’t protect it like… I clutched onto my head, and fell to my knees.

(Y/N)’s POV

“Law might need some help,” you said to Corazon. “Ahh… I did throw my cape in there,” he said as he stood up. “Well no wonder! Go help him,” you huffed. You both slowly headed upstairs, “Go check to see if he’s in his room,” you said as you headed to your bedroom.

As soon as you stepped in you saw Law on the floor crying.

“Law?!” You shouted as you ran over. “Hey, hey what’s wrong?” You asked as you knelt down and pulled him into a hug. “What’s wrong? I heard shou- Law?!” Corazon shouted as he ran over. I looked at him with a worried/ confused look. “I know…” he choked out. “Know? Know what?” Corazon asked as he knelt down. “That (Y/N)’s pregnant!” He yelled. The room suddenly fell silent.

You slowly let go of Law. Helping him get to his feet, and placing your hands in his. “That’s right, sweetheart,” you said tearfully. “Why didn’t you tell me?! Were you planning to leave me?” He asked angrily. “Leave you? We’d never do that, you’re too special to us for that,” you smiled and you moved your hand to cup his face. “So why?” He asked with a tremble in his voice.

“Well… Law, we just wanted to find a good time to tell you. We didn’t mean to hide it from you, we actually found out recently too,” Corazon confessed. “Mhmm, now come here. I’d never leave you,” you said as you pulled him into a tight hug. “What if I ask for too many rice balls, and Corazon tries to toss me out?” He asked. “I’d throw him to the streets before he’d lay a finger on your,” you said, causing Law to laugh. “You see Law? So you’re not going anywhere,” Corazon said as he scruffed up Law’s hair.

“But… what if something happens to the baby? What if I can’t protect them?” He asked. “That’ll never happen, cause we’ll be right there with you, trying to protect both of you,” you reassured him. “S-So do you know what gender it’ll be?” Law asked nervously. “Hmmm… I was hoping to keep it a secret, but I’ll make an exception,” you smiled. You slowly leant down to Law’s ear, “It’s gonna be a girl,” you whispered. You watched as Law’s face slowly lightened up. “A girl,” he whispered excitedly.

[happilyfeatherafter]

Dean’s VOs in The Winchesters (season one!)

(LISTEN ALONG WITH AUDIO HERE)

Dean episode 1: 

( Ten Years After's "I'd Love to Change the World" ) ♪ ♪ 

March 23, 1972. The day Dad came home from the war, and the day he met Mom. Now I know this story might sound familiar, but I'm gonna put the pieces together in a way that just might surprise you. And in order to do that, I have to start all the way at the beginning. 

[END OF EPISODE]

What they didn't know is that the Akrida weren't just a threat to Earth, but to all of existence. Now, like I told you, there's gonna be some surprises. Hell, I'm still trying to find all the puzzle pieces myself. But I'll explain everything. And until then, I'll keep picking the music. 

♪ ♪ Spread them wide ♪ ♪ Rich or poor ♪ ♪ Them and us ♪ ♪ Stop the war ♪ 

Dean episode 2: 

( punchy, percussive music ) ♪ ♪  The ties that bind a family together can be complicated. Parents raise you, teach you what's right and wrong, and in some instances, how to kill monsters. But no matter who you are, there comes a time when you have to break from them and make your own way. And if you're not careful, things can get pretty ugly. 

Dean episode 3: 

( dramatic music ) ♪ ♪ ( screams ) ( sizzling ) ( growling )  There's no map to being a hunter. No playbook. You gotta follow your gut. But that can only take you so far. Truth is, you can't do it all on your own. You need other people to help guide the way... Your friends, your family. Otherwise you just end up lost. 

Dean episode 4: 

( eerie music ) ♪ ♪  Fighting the battle between good and evil isn't easy, especially when the first monster you have to face is the one inside yourself. ( soft dramatic music ) 

Dean episode 5: 

( dramatic music ) ♪ ♪ Spending a lifetime of hunting monsters takes its toll. There comes the time when you gotta let out that pain inside you. If you don't, it'll eat you alive. 

Dean episode 6: 

(Lata) I am centered. I am at peace. I create my own path, and I walk in it fearlessly. (end Lata)

Hunting has a way of changing a person. After a while, right, wrong, good, evil, they all start to look the same. And then it makes you start to wonder, "Who's really the monster here--them or me?" 

[END OF EPISODE]

Hunting's not for everyone. You have to be strong, stay sharp, make tough decisions, and it's not easy, But then again, the righteous things never are. 

Dean episode 7: 

( birds chirping ) Comes a time in every hunt when the fightin' starts. And the difference between winning and losing isn't whether you have the holy water, the wooden stake, or the silver bullet. It's whether you've got the grit to get the job done. (Mary on radio)

Dean episode 8:

(John Moran’s “Rebel”) ♪ ♪ Being a hunter, it means living a life of sacrifice-- not a lot of room for dreams. But you open your heart and get a little lucky, you'll find you gain more than you lose. ♪ ♪

Dean episode 9:

( mellow bluesy music ) ♪ ♪ This isn't how I saw things going when I pushed over that first domino. Thing is, I've had more than a few dances with free will and fate, but as my dad used to say, "Fate is what you make it."

Dean episode 10:

Hunting and happy endings don't usually mix, so when you get your chance, you got to ask yourself, "How far will I go to get it?"

Dean episode 11:

Being a Hunter means always being on the move, No matter how hard you plan, no matter how hard you work, at a certain point, we all run out of road. It's what we do with those crossroads that defines us.

Dean episode 12:

♪ ♪ ( carnival music resumes ) ♪ ♪ ( giggling manically ) ♪ ♪ ( shrill giggling ) ( whispering voices ) ( strange sounds ) 🤡🤡🤡

Hunting's a dishonest business. You gotta lie all the time about who you are and what you do. But the hardest lies aren't the ones you tell other people. They're the ones you tell yourself.

(Mary to John) Another day looking for this mystery man and still nothing. It's like this guy's a ghost. (End Mary to John).

Dean episode 13:

*RECORD SCRATCH* HE’S HERE!!!!! We’re going in universe baby.

(Opening scene, dramatic music ) ♪ ♪ 

Dean: John Winchester. 

John: Sir, can I help you? 

Dean: This is for you. 

John: Where did you get this? Who are--  [...] One ticket for Lawrence, Kansas. 

Ticket lady: Okay.

BOBBY, IT’S FREAKIN’ BOBBY!!!: We're not supposed to meddle with things, ya idjit!

Dean: You always said if I was gonna be stupid, I might as well be smart about it. 

Bobby: Yeah, that does sound about like me. We're not even supposed to be here. 

Dean: Come on, the letter was meant for him. I just, uh, you know, gave it a nudge. 

Bobby: You keep an eye on things here. I'm gonna get the damn cavalry. 

Dean: How you gonna do that? 

Bobby: I got no freaking idea. One last hunt, huh? 

Dean: One last hunt. ♪ ♪

[Insert finale including lots of chat about the ‘ruggedly handsome' mystery man here. For Akrida!Queen exposition science: You're here to talk about the man with no name...he was digging around in things that should have stayed buried. ... The Akrida. You see, our mysterious friend isn't from around here. There's only so much he could do. His hands were tied. Credit where it's due... he did manage to stay ahead of me for a while, but... I can assure you that he's not going to be a problem anymore. ... Well, there's this portal. You see--I'm sure you've heard of it. It's not quite up to code yet, but I managed to pry it open just enough to toss a certain someone and his car into it. No human can survive that gateway, so his body will be torn to shreds for centuries. Anyway, this, um... this old journal... it's all that's left of him.]

Back to the end of the show:

( electricity crackling ) ( engine revving ) ( engine revving ) ( dramatic music )  ♪ ♪ 

John: Mary! ... How did you guys survive? 

Dean (gestures at Baby): She kept Mary safe... me too. Of course, there's not a lot that can tear me apart. I'm already dead. I was stuck in the world between worlds, so I stayed close to that portal, and as soon as I saw baby come through, I hopped in and grabbed the wheel. 

Samuel: So who are you? 

Dean: I'm a Hunter, just like you. But I'm not from this Earth. 

Ada: And how did you get here? 

Dean: When I died, I made it to heaven. And she was waiting for me. So I went for a drive, and then I took a little detour. 

Latika: Through the multiverse. (Dean points ‘bingo’.)

Carlos: S-so what were you looking for? 

Dean: That's a good question, Carlos. I was looking for my family. See, I come from a long line of Hunters. I guess I was hoping that somewhere out there was an Earth that had a version where my family had a shot at a happy ending. When I was driving, I caught wind of the Akrida. Turns out that they were one of Chuck's last creations. 

Millie: Who's Chuck? 

Dean: God. It's a long story, but, uh... basically, he's a real dick. He left the Akrida behind to wipe out all of existence in case he failed. Well... he failed. Eventually the Akrida were going to make their way to my world, and I got family there, so I couldn't let that happen. 

John: T-the letter, why did you-- 

Dean: I took my little detour. The rules were simple. Don't mess with anything. Well... I gave it a little nudge. Thought it might need a little help. Looks like it worked out pretty well. So now that the Akrida are gone, you all can choose your own destiny. You can write your own story. 

Jack: And you can get back to yours. 

Dean: It's all right. It's all right. They're--they're with me. This is Bobby. That's Jack. They're family. Excuse me. You okay? 

Bobby: I told you I'd figure it out. Didn't say I wouldn't get us in more trouble. Look at 'em. Man, this is all kinds of weird... seeing Samuel with a full head of hair. 

Dean: Right? ( chuckles )

Jack (~~or is he?~~): Dean. 

Dean: Yeah. No, I know. I know, Jack. 

Jack: When I restored things, I wanted mankind to make their own fate. That meant no interference from on high, anywhere... no exceptions. 

Dean: I couldn't let our world get destroyed. Sam's still down there, okay? He deserves a good, long life. Hell, they all do. ( indistinct chatter ) So, if you want to cast me out of heaven... so be it. 

Bobby: If we're taking a vote, I'd say you give the guy another chance. 

Jack: There's always another case with you Hunters... even in death. Well... if you're going to meddle in things, finish what you started. After this... it's time to get around to the... "there'll be peace when you are done"... part of the song.

Dean to John: Listen, um... b-before I go... I want to give you two something. My dad... he, uh... Kept a Hunter's journal, looked just like this. I lived my whole life by that damn thing. Well, this is my Hunter's journal. So if you're gonna stay in this game... This will help guide you through it. 

John: Thank you. 

Dean to Mary: I know you're thinking about quitting Hunting. Believe me, I understand. But you need to do me one favor. Keep an eye out for a yellow-eyed demon. And if you even catch a hint of that son of a bitch... I need you to use this. 

Mary: Your family... did you ever find a version where they had a shot of a happy ending? 

Dean: I think I did. 

John: You never told us your name. 

Dean: Hetfield... James Hetfield. (Hetfield is the lead vocalist, rhythm guitarist, co-founder, and a primary songwriter of heavy metal band Metallica.)

( Nick Drake's "One of These Things First" ) ♪ ♪ (Dean, Bobby and Jack vanish with baby). 

Transcripts from: https://tvshowtranscripts.ourboard.org/viewforum.php?f=1550

[slutforelliealways]

Can’t move on ElliexFemmeReader

Synopsis: You were with Ellie when she took her revenge on Abby, you were with her when she was healing from her loss of Joel. You patched her up every time she was injured and held her in every panic attack. So when she up and broke up with you because things got hard for you years later, it wasn’t so easy to forgive her.

Part of this story is inspired by the song Watermelon Moonshine by Lainey Wilson, you'll know it when you get to it I don't wanna spoil too much. Lots of fluff and angst. Some smut and fluff with smut, also arguing and like mean Ellie at some points. Also there's a shit ton of flashbacks to different points in their relationship. This is long as fuck but I wasn't sure when a good stopping point was. Hopefully, you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Are you serious? You’re just gonna up and leave? Ellie please! We have a life together we have a home and a future here, you can’t just let that go!” Your eyes were stinging, you’d been going at it for hours now trying to keep her from leaving.

“I’m sorry, this just isn’t right for me anymore. I’ve got to be on my own for a while.” She was packing her bags and hadn’t looked at you since she started the argument.

“So what I’m just supposed to wait around for you to come back? Hoping you’ll snap out of whatever the fuck this is?” You threw your hands up in defeat. “You know what?”

“What y/n?”

“Fuck you! Keep the house, i don’t want to live with your ghost.” You grabbed your bag and stuffed it with as many clothes it would fit and walked out the door.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

That was the last time you’d spoken to Ellie Williams in two years, Ellie had came in around year five or six of you living there (you’d been in Jackson for 12 years total), she had Joel with her and you knew of him from his brother Tommy and his wife Maria. They had wanted you to stay with them but you insisted you could take care of yourself, this was true. Your parents had both gotten bit trying to keep you out of harms way early on in life, you’d been on your own since you were 10. You spent six months surviving the harsh world on your own until you stumbled onto the small town of Jackson one early morning, since then you’d become a valued member of society there. It started with gardening and tending to the animals, once you hit 16 you were allowed to do patrol with Tommy or Joel for a while. Finally you’d become their sneakiest and stealthiest soldier and they trusted you to do pretty much anything you wanted, this was when Ellie was finally allowed to go out and they set you two up so you could show her the ropes.

Your romance started off sweet and innocent at first, simply flirting and laughing on your patrols. Racing your horses and dodging any danger you couldn’t outrun. Ellie’s crush was a lot more obvious at first than yours was, you’d never been romantically involved with anyone let alone a girl. Sure a few boys had approached you throughout your time at Jackson but it never went past the first date. Your first kiss was Dina and it was on a dare from spin the bottle, she started dating Jesse shortly there after so you never even had the chance to catch a crush on her. Ellie was gentle before Joel passed, it was a different side of her that you’d hoped would come back one day. You spent years patching her back together, being patient when she had her mean moments and lulling her back to sleep after a nightmare. So when she came home one day and just started packing her bags it hit you like a ton of bricks.

You’d managed to move on with life after a few months of mourning, taking your old patrol back and hanging out with your friends in your spare time. While Ellie and you had been gone avenging her late father, Dina and Jesse had started a family of their own. JJ their son, was a cute chunky little boy. Dina loved being a mother and had since stopped doing patrols since it was so dangerous, Jesse wanted to keep protecting Jackson and knew his best shot at staying alive was doing patrols with you. This routine stayed put for almost a full two years, until one morning you heard a knock on your door.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“I’m coming Jeez! Let me put some clothes on.” You shouted at whoever was standing on the other side.

“Hurry up!” It was Tommy.

You sniffed around for something clean or just clean enough and threw it on, opening the door to a blizzard and a frozen Tommy standing in front of you. “What can I do for you Mr. Miller?”

“Please, you’ve called me Tommy since you got here don’t switch it up now. I need to ask you a favor.” He took a step forward to incline you to invite him in.

“Oh sorry, come on in. Place is a mess but it’s not yours so I won’t apologize.” You snickered, waving him inside and taking a seat at your dinner table. “What’s the favor you need?”

“Got any coffee?” He asked.

“You know I do, is that the favor?”

“Make us some would ya?” He pointed to the coffee maker.

“Sure.” You rolled your eyes and got up.

“Listen kid, I wouldn’t ask you this if I had any other choice.” He was speaking low and hesitantly.

“Are you gonna keep tip toeing around the subject till we both die or you gonna spill the beans?” You put the coffee maker on and turned around, leaning against your counter you crossed your arms and tilted your head at him.

“It’s about your route for patrol.” He bowed his head, “I tried bargaining with Maria but you know how she is.”

“She switching my route up or something?”

“She’s switching your partner.” He looked up at you with sympathy.

“To who?”

“I’m real sorry kiddo-“

“Who Tommy!” You stepped forward.

“Ellie.”

“No.”

“Now look I know things got… weird between you two but-“

You shook your head and chuckled out of anger, “I’m not fucking doing a route with her. She can find another partner, or she can go fuck herself i don’t really care. Why is this even happening?” The coffee maker beeped and you snapped around to shut it off.

“Listen, Maria needs more experienced people to take the longer routes. Dina doesn’t want Jesse going that far out with them havin a kid and all, you and Ellie ain’t got much to lose and you’re far more experienced. You’re a good team kid.” He eyeballed the coffee maker and you rolled your eyes before pouring him a cup and handing it to him. “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome. You can take it to-go, I’ve heard enough from you.”

“Now cmon y/n!”

“I’ll do it.”

Tommy’s face froze in a shocked expression before his lips curled up into a smirk, “you’re really doin me a solid here. I owe ya one!”

“Your wife owes me one. You owe me a few, now get the fuck out please. I need to get ready for my shift.” You opened your front door and gestured for him to leave.

“Give me a hug so I know you’re not mad at me.” He reached his arms out.

“Fuck off.” You leaned in and nuzzled into his jacket. He smelled so much like Joel it made your eyes water. “Get out!” You shoved him lightly and he chuckled as he headed out back into the snow.

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You made sure to take a shower before leaving your house, even did your two braids extra neat to keep your hair out of your face before throwing on your dark grey beanie. You picked out your second warmest jacket, the first one being the one Ellie had gifted you for christmas one year.

“I found it while Joel and I were exploring an abandoned mall. Figured it’d keep you warm during the harsh winters. Can’t have my girl freezing while she’s protecting the town!”

You shuddered at the memory and snatched the other light brown jacket and threw it on, all your supplies were neatly packed into your dark green backpack and you were sure you hadn’t forgotten anything. You took one final deep breath before heading out to the stables to get your horse, and see Ellie again.

“Hey y/n!”

“Hey Seth! How’s my boy doing?” You waved at the stable boy and approached your horse Bentley.

“He’s a strong one! Tried reigning him in last night and he knocked me over twice, you must be teaching him to do that!” Seth laughed as he handed the reigns to you.

“Yeah maybe, it’s a good trick out there. Should teach him when and when not to do it though, sorry about that.” You patted Seth’s shoulder and saw him smile to himself. Seth was one of the boys you’d gone on a date with back when you were teenagers, he was so smitten by you that you had to cut it short and go home. It didn’t feel right leading a boy on just because you wanted to make Tommy and Maria happy by finding a partner.

“Oh hey Ellie!” Seth waved behind you and you whipped your head around to see the girl you’d been avoiding for years.

“Wassup Seth!” She waved back. Before getting a good look at her you snapped your head back to your horse.

“What’re you doing here? You’re usually second shift I thought.”

“Yeah i uh, my shift got switched to first.” She rubbed the back of her neck and avoided eye contact with you.

“Alright thanks Seth I’m gonna take Bentley to the gates okay. I’ll see you when I get back if you’re still here!” You gave his hand a quick squeeze and took Bentley with you out.

You hadn’t even made it fully to the gate before hearing hooves quickly trotting behind you, “wait up!”

“Keep up!” You shouted back at the auburn haired girl.

“I’m trying but you’re walking too fucking fast.” She said out of breath as she caught up beside you. “You done this route before?”

“Every fuckin day.” You huffed out, not even looking her direction just staring straight ahead.

“Alright. You gonna ignore me the whole time?” She leaned her head forward trying to catch your eye. Her hair was different, no longer in the bun she usually had it up in. She had half of her hair down and the other half tied up, some of the shorter pieces were framing her face and brushing her cheeks. She looked good, but you couldn’t acknowledge it.

“Just about.” You scoffed and started walking faster.

“We have to be around each other all day y/n. You can’t at least pretend to be cool with me?” She sped her walk up to keep up with you.

“Ellie, i- we’re cool okay? Just don’t feel like talking.” You came to a halt and turned to finally face her.

She froze in place, she hadn’t caught up with how you looked either. Your hair had grown, you’d gotten some new piercings and tattoos from cat. You looked older, more mature and more like a woman and not a girl. “Wow.” She gasped.

“What?” You spat out.

“You look- just, wow.” She looked you up and down and then up and down again. A smirk formed on her lips and she shifted her weight from one hip to the other.

“Thanks? Cmon we’re gonna be late.” You started walking fast again trying to get ahead of her so you could freak out for a second without her seeing.

You got to the gates and met up with the rest of the groups that were going out, Jesse walked up to you. “Dude I am so sorry I didn’t know she’d pair you up with… her.” He pointed to Ellie.

“It’s fine. You’ve got more to lose than either of us do so it makes sense they switched us, we’re good don’t sweat it.” You gave him a hug and hopped up on your horse.

“Alright gang we’ve got some new procedures to instill! First off we’re happy to see some new faces going out today, don’t worry you’re all in good hands. For the not new guys, as usual be safe and don’t run into the fire if you don’t have to. If you see anything unusual just log it down and come straight back home!” Maria looked at you when she said the last part, you’d been known to handle dangerous situations by yourself. It wasn’t that she didn’t think you couldn’t handle it, it was the fact that you were the closest thing her and Tommy had to a daughter so losing you would ruin their world. You nodded at her and she dropped her gaze and continued, “for my new routers and new partners, be a good team. Work together, and remember to communicate a lot and keep conversation going to ensure you’re both okay. Everything else you should already know. Now go, be safe and come back to us!” She nodded for the guys to open the gates and two by two every pair rode off and split to their respected routes.

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You and Ellie rode in silence for a while, she’d ask a question or try and crack a joke and you’d simply respond by humming to yourself. After a couple hours she finally gave up and simply rode next to you, once you’d gotten about halfway through your route you found a good spot to have lunch and you paused and hopped off Bentley. You tied him up to a tree and plopped yourself down on a tree that had fallen a couple harsh winters ago, Tommy had pointed it out and you made a mental note of it as a check point if you ever got lost.

“We can stop here for a bit, I’m hungry.” You announced dryly.

“Sounds good I’m starving!” She hopped down from her horse shimmer and tied her up next to Bentley. She eagerly sat down next to you and began rummaging through her bag for food.

“You didn’t bring anything did you?” You more stated than asked her. You knew she hadn’t, her appetite hadn’t been the greatest but neither had her memory, back when you did patrol with her you always had to share your lunch with her since she always left hers somewhere else.

“No I did I know it’s in here some-“ you shoved your sandwich bag in her face which had half a chicken sandwich in there. “Oh, thanks.” She smiled at you.

“Yup.” You took a bite to prevent you from having to say anything else.

“So how’ve you been?” She said with her mouth full.

“Huh?”

“Sorry”, she swallowed, “how’ve you been?”

“Fine.” You took another bite.

“Just fine?” She questioned.

“What exactly are you expecting to come out of this conversation Ellie?” She looked shocked at your statement, you’d never been harsh with her before. Always gentle and coddling, she was supposed to be the harsh and mean one.

“Look I know I fucked up but just hear me out-“

“Fucked up? Fucking up is burning the coffee, missing a step on the stairs, letting the dog out without a leash, and dropping paint on your shoes. You broke up with me because I started having nightmares and you couldn’t handle them. You didn’t fuck up Ellie you fucked me. You dipped and I never heard from you again. So please spare me the theatrics and apologies and let’s just keep this professional okay?” Your appetite was gone and you threw the remainder of your sandwich out in the woods.

"I could have ate that", she exclaimed.

"You've already taken enough from me." You snapped back and stood up. "We'd better get going, the sun is gonna start setting soon and I don't wanna get caught in the dark." You undid Bentley's reign, shimmers too, and handed her off to Ellie before mounting Bentley.

"How much further up do we need to go?" She shouted from behind you.

"Couple more miles! Then we just make our way back, it's a super easy route it's just longer than what you're used to." You shouted back at her.

"Alright, just don't leave me in the dust. You're pretty good at that." She shouted before catching up to your speed.

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah." She laughed.

You took that as a challenge and whipped Bentley's reigns to make him speed up, you may have been the fastest on foot but Bentley was the fastest horse in the stables. You picked him out because of how difficult he had been as a baby, stubborn and unwilling to listen to any of the trainers. Once he met you though, someone equally as stubborn, he quickly obeyed every command you gave him. It was a match made in heaven, two stubborn individuals that came together as a perfect pair. You looked back to see if Ellie had caught on to what was happening, she was grinning from ear to ear at the race. "Come on keep up!" You shouted back to her.

"No fair you got a head start!" She squealed.

"Never stopped you before." You leaned forward to get less air traction and a better grip on Bentley. He felt the interaction and pounced forward to gain more speed, as you reached the top of the route you were on you sat up straight and Bentley came to a pause. "See that wasn't so bad was it?" You turned around to face Ellie who still had some distance to go. You laughed at how she struggled catching more speed and pretended to tap a watch on your wrist as she caught up with you almost a full minute later.

"Whatever you said I didn't hear it, I see you and Bent still have your weird little connection. How'd you get him to listen to you like that anyways?" She was breathing heavily and trying to play it off.

"Had a lot of time to train him after... I just had a lot of free time for a while. He's only four so we still have a long ways to go, but he does okay." You tried to chuckle off your stutter and looked down at Bentley's mane.

"Can we please talk about it?" She pleaded with you.

"There's nothing to talk about."

"Y/n! You know there is."

"Ellie, you're pushing it." You warned her.

"Okay, okay fine." She put her hands up in surrender.

You rolled your eyes, "We need to get back now, write down that everything was clear and then just follow closely behind me okay?"

"I always do."

"What? Write it down?" You raised your brow.

"Follow closely behind you."

You took off on Bentley and didn't look back, you needed to cry without her seeing. You knew when to slow down so Shimmer could catch up but for just a couple minutes you needed to just sob into Bentley's mane and pretend you were alone. As much as you wanted to believe you had healed from your breakup it was clear there was still some wounds that needed healing, you knew talking about it could help but it just wasn't in the cards for you right now. The idea of sitting across from the girl who broke you and explaining to her how just felt like a bullet to the chest, which you could accurately describe seeing as you'd taken one. For her.

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The ride home took half the time it took to get to the lookout post, you rode in silence once again and this time Ellie didn't bother saying anything. She hummed to herself a familiar tune you just couldn't quite make out, it drove you so crazy you started humming your own tune. The same tune Maria would hum to you when she was cutting your hair or cooking for you and Tommy, it was some country song she said she would have given anything to see live. You never did get that stupid song out of your head. As you approached the gates you saw Jesse and his partner coming in from the East, he waved at you and you guided Bentley toward his horse.

"So how was patrol for you?" He awkwardly chuckled.

"Fine." You said dryly.

"Better than me then, my partner is the new guy Jordan. Fucking idiot I tell ya, never seen an infected before and just had to check it out! Had to save his ass like four times before he finally stopped approaching them head on."

"Hey Jesse, are we still on for drinks later?" Ellie had ridden over and joined in on the conversation.

"Uh yeah, Dina wanted to join that cool?" Jesse looked back and forth between you and Ellie awkwardly. "Y/n you wanna join?"

"Oh... no thanks I'm pretty tired. Maybe next time yeah?" You started guiding Bentley away from the pair.

"Just one drink!" Ellie shouted.

"Huh?" You stopped in your tracks.

"Just one drink, then you can go home and sleep." She approached next to you and had a pleading look in her eyes.

"I uh, can I shower first?"

"Yeah, yeah of course! Shower and then meet us all at the Tipsy Bison, I'll save you a seat." She smiled and wandered in the gates.

You stayed in place shocked that you'd agreed to go. "She still wants you you know, maybe you should give her a second chance." Jesse said now next to you.

"Maybe you should fuck off and go home to your girl and kid before I steal your place as JJ's father." You laughed and wandered into the gates of Jackson.

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"You're Ellie right?"

"Oh, yeah hey. I assume you're y/n?" The shy auburn-haired girl asked.

"You'd assume correctly!" You reached your hand out for her to shake it. "We're on patrol together today, so just stick to whatever I do and we should be good!"

She took your hand and shook it, "Sounds good. I've heard you're like the best soldier we've got here."

"Maybe not the best but, yeah you know what I am the best." You chuckle.

"Nobody mentioned how pretty you were gonna be. I feel stupid for my appearance now." She rubbed the back of her neck in embarrassment.

"Oh!" You blushed, "You look fine. I mean... you look good! I'm sorry, I'm like naturally fucking awkward."

"No! Don't even worry about it I am too, sorry I honestly shouldn't have said anything. Not that I didn't mean what I said I mean you are super pretty I just-"

"Ellie." You put your hand on her shoulder.

"Yeah y/n?"

"You wanna grab your horse and meet me by the gates?" You nodded at Shimmer.

"Yeah, I'll see you there." She smiled at you and exhaled heavily.

"Don't make me wait." You winked and grabbed Bentley.

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As you stood in the bathroom looking at yourself in the mirror you couldn't help but wonder what tonight's events would entail, would you end up in a fight with Ellie? Would you make up? Would you make out? You brushed your hair out and put on your best going-out clothes, along with your warmest jacket. You took your time with the brisk walk over to the bar, the jacket had been a smart move because as the sun went away so did any warmth it had brought on earlier in the day. You walked up the steps and paused at the door to sneak a peek to see who was inside, as promised Ellie had saved you a seat right next to her. Your face went warm and you suddenly felt excited to go in, your happiness faltered when you remembered who you were getting excited about and you took a step back from the door. What the fuck am I doing? You thought to yourself, without thinking you found yourself turning around and heading back to your place. You had just barely made it off the steps when you heard the door open and the little bell ring, "Hey y/n! Where ya going? I saved you a seat."

You paused and turned around to face her, "Oh, hi Ellie. Sorry I didn't see you guys in there so I thought maybe you cancelled plans and I didn't get the memo or something."

"Yeah sure, just come in." She stepped down and held her hand out for you to grab.

You walked past her and into the bar, "Dina!"

"Hey honey how are you!" The brunette stepped out of her seat and walked toward you with her arms stretched out for a hug. "It's been a while since I've seen you in here. It's good to have you back!"

"I'm not back, just out for the night. How have you been?"

"I asked you first." She smirked and glanced over at Ellie who was defeatedly sitting back in her seat awaiting your attention.

"I've been... you know." You shrugged.

"Hiding away in your dungeon."

"Yeah." You chuckled, "I guess I have."

"Well you're here now, that's all that matters." She nudged your shoulder and went back to her seat next to Jesse.

"Nice to see you out y/n." Jesse exclaimed before taking a sip of his drink.

"Yeah babe we already had this talk." Dina nudged his shoulder hard.

"Ow! Okay sorry I didn't know."

"It's fine, really." You assured him. "I think I'm gonna go grab a drink, I'll be back. Anyone want anything?" You got out of your seat and headed to the bar before anyone could reply.

"Hey honey, wasn't expecting to see you here." Maria was tending the bar and already had your drink ready for you.

"Hi." You tried to avoid speaking to her. It was her fault you'd even opened this can of worms to begin with.

"You gonna be mad at me forever?" She questioned.

"Just until you switch my patrol partner."

"I didn't assign you to her, she asked. So you might want to redirect your anger to the little auburn girl staring at you over there." She pointed to Ellie who looked away as soon as your gaze landed on her.

"What do you mean she asked?"

"I mean she came to our house last night and asked to be your patrol partner from now on, said Dina and Jesse agreed to vouch for her if you asked. Sweet Pea I would never have done this had I known you'd be so upset with me. You know I love you." Maria leaned over the bar and reached for your hand.

You reached out and took her hand, "Thanks for the honesty. I'll see you later, I gotta go." You turned around only to be paused by Maria speaking again.

"Give the poor girl a break, she's lost a lot."

"And I haven't?" You snarled as you turned around to face her again.

"I didn't say that I just-"

"God! Everyone in this fucking town coddles her like she's the only person here who's been hurt or lost someone. It's like everyone watches out so we don't hurt poor, broken, fragile Ellie. Give me a fucking break would ya, she's fine! She's happy, smiling, and hanging out with my friends. So please can everyone just spare me the theatrics and leave me the fuck out of her drama. I want a new patrol partner immediately!" You hadn't noticed you were shouting and that everyone in the bar had paused what they were doing to stare at you. Including Dina, Jesse, and Ellie. "Shit." You stormed out of the bar and speed-walked back to your house.

"Y/n wait up!" You heard footsteps behind getting closer to you.

"Go away Ellie please, I don't wanna talk to-" She grabbed your arm and spun you around to face her.

"Then just listen!" She was breathing heavily and her nose was pink from the cold, "I, am so sorry! I'm so sorry for leaving you, for never picking up your pieces after you spent so long putting me back together. I'm sorry for taking your friends from you, for acting like you didn't exist. I'm sorry for-"

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"What the fuck is going on with you? You're like so weird right now, constantly shutting down, you won't even touch me anymore." Ellie was blocking the door trying to get you to talk to her.

"Please just let me leave, I'll come back but I've got patrol." You were trying to shove past her but she was must stronger than you were.

"Please y/n I'm begging you, talk to me. Say something, anything!"

"I'm telling you, I need to go before Maria gets on my ass."

She didn't respond, she just stepped out of the way and opened the door for you.

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"Not being there for you when you needed me most." She had her hands on your shoulders to keep you in place while she spoke.

You felt frozen, your face was cold and you were fighting back tears, "Fuck you, Ellie." Was somehow the only sentence you managed to spit out.

She blinked hard and tried to keep her face from looking shocked, she wasn't. She knew you had no idea about the times she stood outside your door for hours hoping you'd need something from town and bump into her. How many times on patrol she'd found flowers or a cool gadget and brought it home with her with the intention of bringing it to you, or the number of times she'd left a letter on your front porch only to snag it back before you went out for your morning shift. Ellie knew all you had received was radio silence from her end, so she released her grip on your shoulders and let you walk again.

"That's what I thought." You spit out and turned toward your home. You made a quick turn down and alley and blocked the world out for the rest of your walk, your tears felt as if they were burning your cheeks and you tried wiping them off but they were streaming quicker than you could wipe.

You saw your house and sped up to a jog, you busted through the gate and headed up the stairs. "I don't have my fucking keys." You wined out loud.

"I do."

You turned slowly and faced the voice. "Why do you have my keys?"

"You dropped them when you ran away from me", Ellie was holding your keys up and shaking them at you. "I brought whiskey."

"How the hell did you get a whole bottle?"

"Joel had it in his house, I figured he'd been saving it for a special occasion so I saved it for one too." She approached you slowly.

"Just unlock my door for me would ya? You can come in if you must." You slapped your door and waved for her to speed her walk up.

"Yes ma'am!" She smirked and ran up your stairs for the door. "Here hold this." She handed you the bottle of whiskey as she fiddled with the lock.

"Hurry up it's fucking freezing." You laughed as you bounced a little trying to keep warm.

"I'm trying it's a tough door ba- y/n." She cleared her throat.

"Try harder." You huffed.

"Got it." She shoved her shoulder into the door and it busted open.

"Careful! I don't feel like having to ask Tommy over to fix the door, he'll drink all my coffee."

"You'd have the same issue with Joel." She laughed.

Her laugh caught you off guard, not because she didn't laugh ever but because she laughed in the same sentence Joel's name was mentioned. Anytime Joel was brought up in conversation in the past Ellie would simply bow her head and leave the room on some poor excuse like she needed to use the bathroom or she needed a shower. You knew she was leaving because she needed to catch her breath before a panic attack set in, you'd usually follow shortly after to talk her down before she blacked out. This went on for a year and a half, you spent all your time making sure she was okay by the time your body had caught up on your own trauma. She was healed and ready for the next chapter in life, one without panic attacks and night terrors. So you healed in silence, which to no surprise wasn't very effective. For two years you talked yourself down from every panic attack, every meltdown, and every blackout. Not a single soul in your entire town had any idea you were falling apart behind closed doors, you were ten years old again and screaming silently for help. The only person you wanted around had decided you were too much, or not enough. Just not what she needed anymore, so she let you go.

"You owe me a drink for letting you in here." You say to her as you throw your shoes off.

"I owe you a drink? You wouldn't even be in here if I hadn't brought your keys to you." She laughed again a bit louder this time.

"I wouldn't gotten locked out of my own house had you not begged me to come to the bar." You turned toward her with your eyebrows raised.

"I guess you're right about that." She bowed her head and rubbed her neck.

"So yeah, you owe me a drink."

"I guess I do, where do you- actually I got it." She went into your kitchen and found your glasses right away.

You had to blink to focus your vision, it was hard to believe Ellie Williams was standing in your kitchen. This house had never had her inside of it, it was your sanctuary away from her. Decorated exactly how you wanted it and untouched by her opinions, you had things scattered around that reminded you of love. Pictures you managed to keep of your parents and of Tommy and Maria scattered around your walls, along with randomly scattered carpets you would strap onto Bentley on a patrol and bring home. "This is weird Ellie."

She paused and looked at you, "I know."

"Why did you ask for me to be your patrol partner?"

"I uh, wanted. No needed to talk to you." She continued pouring the whiskey in an attempt not to make eye contact with you.

"Talk to me about what?" You sat down on your couch.

"Nothing in particular just missed your voice." She came and sat next to you, handing you your glass nonchalantly.

"Oh." You took a sip and winced at the strong flavor.

"So yeah, pretty lame excuse I guess."

"Yeah, I guess." You rolled your eyes.

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"You're being silly! I know how to swim, I've just never done it." You exclaimed and then took a sip from the mason jar.

"You can't just know how to do something but never practice it." Ellie laughed and reached for the jar.

"You can if you're me."

"Maybe you're right or maybe you're just overly confident. I guess we'll have to test your theory sometime." Ellie put the jar down and looked up at you.

"What?" You almost shouted.

"I don't know if I'm saying this because I'm drunk or because I'm just ready to share but, I've got like a serious crush on you so."

"Oh really? I couldn't tell." You snagged the jar and sipped the whiskey Ellie had stolen from Joel while he was sleeping.

"Shut up!" She chuckled. "Give me some of that don't hog it all!"

"Here." You handed her the jar, "So why did it take you like three years to share this information with me?"

"I don't know, couldn't tell if you were into me or just like this with everyone."

"Ellie I'm not like this with anyone", You leaned in close to her, "Just you."

"I noticed that", she put the jar down and leaned in closer. "What're you doing?"

"Testing a theory", you closed the gap and pushed your lips onto hers. She grabbed your face and you fell back on the blanket with her on top of you.

"Have you done this before?" She gasped.

"No. Have you?" You asked shakily.

"No, do you want to do this?"

"Ellie I've wanted you to be the one forever.” You pulled her in and closed the gap between your lips once again. She pushed deeper into the kiss and let her hands begin to wander your body, it started innocently and slow. The more you kissed the more she touched, the more she touched the more you wanted her. “I want you.”

“You have me.” She breathed into you.

“No. I want, all of you!”

She paused and looked at you with a smile spreading across her lips, “I want you to have all of me."

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"Do you remember that day?" Ellie interrupted your daydreaming.

"What day?" You look up at her.

"You know, that day." She said sheepishly.

"Oh, yeah how could I forget." You smiled at the memory.

"Do you regret it?" Her face looked prepared for destruction.

"No. Do you?" You sipped your drink.

"Why would I?"

"Because, you know." You couldn't say it out loud.

"Because you left me?" She interrupted.

"You were leaving first." You stated.

"I- you're right. I was leaving first, physically." Her phrase confused you, "But you left me long before I ever planned on walking away."

"You don't know what you're talking about." You leaned in.

"Oh I don't?" She leaned in.

"No, you don't. What're you doing Ellie?"

"Just, testing a theory." She kissed you.

"Mm no! No, I can't, we can't do this. You need to leave, now."

"Y/n come on, please don't make me go." She pleaded.

"I'm not thinking clearly and you can't be here, you're infecting my space." You shuffled around and got up to go toward the door.

She grabbed your hand and pulled you to her, "I can't go another day without you baby. You take up every inch of my mind, you're ruining my days not being with me. Please my love, give me another chance."

"You need to leave, I'll see you tomorrow for patrol. We can talk more then." You yanked your hand away and went over to your front door, she got up from the couch hesitantly and put her jacket back on. You waved her out the door and watched her walk down your front porch steps, she turned around and faced you.

"Do you want this? Really?"

"I want to be okay Ellie, and I don't want to drag you down with me. I don't want to rely on you again only for you to leave me, I'll see you tomorrow." You closed the door and slid down the wall and cried.

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Ellie had planned to go home after you kicked her out, she even made it halfway home before pausing in her tracks. She saw Tommy and Maria laughing and walking to their home and stopped them for a chat, "Hey Tommy! Hey Maria!"

"Hey, sweetheart what's going on? Why are you out so late?" Tommy questioned, Ellie saw a lot of Joel in Tommy whenever he showed any concern.

"I just was walking home from y/n's house. Could I ask you something?"

"Anything." Tommy waved Ellie over to join them in their walk, their house just so happened to be two doors down from your home so Ellie didn't mind following them one bit.

"What uh, what do I have to do to make her come back?" She asked nervously.

Maria answered, "Oh honey, I ask myself the same thing every day. She hasn't come back to anyone since you seemed to get better, it's like she's a ghost wandering the walls of Jackson. We try to get her out, try to make her laugh. She's gone, and I'm not sure she's coming back. I know her life before Jackson was awful and part of me seems to think she believes she's still out there."

"What do you mean?" Ellie paused in her tracks and stared at Maria and Tommy.

"You don't know?" Tommy questioned, shocked by her confusion.

"Know what?"

"Y/n was... alone when we found her. Or more so she found us, she stumbled upon our gates one night completely covered in dirt and blood. Some of it was hers but most of it wasn't, she refused to talk for a while. Wouldn't even sleep unless she was left alone, we don't fully know what happened. But I think it's safe to assume whatever she saw out there, was worse than most of us have seen." Maria looked away and stifled a cry.

"She's never gotten real close to anyone, besides you kiddo." Tommy patted Ellie's back. "You good to make it home okay? I can walk you back if you want."

"No. That's okay, I'm gonna... hang around for a bit if that's okay. See if she comes out of the house for anything."

Maria leaned in for a hug, "Just don't stay out too late, you both have patrol in the morning."

"Yes ma'am." Ellie hugged them both goodbye and waved them off until they got into their home.

She sat on your porch and waited, it got colder and she shivered but she stayed sat and waited. She heard nothing at first and thought she was making it up. It was subtle, just whimpers that could have passed for a sad puppy. Then she heard your yelp, a bang and then she was up on her feet. The door was locked, she banged on the door but you didn't answer.

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You tried to keep quiet, to act as if you had it together and your chest wasn't caving in. Your vision began going blurry and you couldn't catch your breath, your sobs got louder but you couldn't hear them. You didn't even notice you'd fell to the floor until you were being picked up gently.

"Hey hey hey, come on let's get you to bed yeah? Shh, it's okay I know, I'm here. I got you, baby, I have you now. You're safe."

"I can't- I can't-"

"I know baby I know, you're okay. I'm not going anywhere you're safe I have you. You're safe." Ellie had broken down your door after hearing you cry louder than she'd ever heard you before.

You had been clawing at your chest when she found you, beating and clawing like you were trying to get your heart to beat again. Like you couldn't get your lungs to take in any more air, she wasn't sure what to do at first. She thought about running and grabbing Tommy or Maria and then she remembered what Tommy had said, you'd never gotten close to anyone besides her. So she did the only thing she could think of, she picked you up and reminded you where you were.

"Ellie I-", your breathing slowed. Her touch had soothed your burning skin, you felt her breathing above your face. The surface beneath you no longer cold and hard, you were in your bed. You wanted to say something important, let her know how bad you had gotten since she'd been gone. "I love you." Was all that came out, and then you crashed. Your body finally relaxed enough to fall asleep, you didn't fight it. You were safe now, warm and loved.

"I love you baby", she kissed your face relentlessly. "I'm here now, just sleep." As she looked at your sleepy face she had to turn away, she saw it now. How bad you'd gotten, how much you'd held in so she could fall apart. Why her leaving was so cruel, and why you had hated her for it. She cried silently over you that night, she sobbed while you slept in her arms. She didn't dare move even when her arms hurt, and her legs fell asleep. She let you sleep, and she let herself cry without blacking out. She was healed, you were not. It was her turn to glue you back together after all this time, and she was fully prepared for the task.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Authors Note: Very much tea very much jumbled, let me know if you liked it and if I should continue with a part two! Kind of just in the mood to write a shit ton of little fics and see where they take me, anyways. Love ya, hope life is being kind to you! See you next time xoxo Gossip girl.

[oxydiane]

‘Does it ever upset you?’

‘Mhhh?’ Ron shifts slightly, adjusting the arm curled around Harry’s waist. ‘What’re you talking about?’

‘That… This, that nobody knows about this.’ Harry whispers with a nod to their current position; he is laying against Ron’s chest, Ron’s lips pressed against his hair and leaving quick kisses every once in a while.

‘Why? It matters to you?’ Ron mumbles, clearly far sleepier than his boyfriend.

‘I dunno,’ Harry thinks of how the only reason they get to lay and cuddle like this is Sirius and Remus’ date night, thinks of how Sirius left him the home for the night and he used the chance to sneak in his boyfriend when Sirius had trusted him. ‘Should tell Padfoot, maybe?’

Ron seems to wake up at once. ‘Huh? No way! He’s going to kill me!’

‘He’s not going to kill you,’ a roll of eyes.

‘Duh! He already doesn’t like me because he knows of your embarrassing crush on me!’ Harry laughs and shoves him playfully. ‘You wanna add fuel to the fire so next time I show up he’s not even gonna let us in your room? This door-stays-open rule is bad already!’

‘He just wants to make sure —‘

‘I don’t deflower his Godson?’ Ron finishes for him and that does draw a shriek from Harry, immediately followed by a laugh.

‘You’re so stupid! And he knows we wouldn’t try that under his roof! I’m smarter than that.’

‘Debatable.’

‘Now you’re just being mean,’ Harry whines and presses his face against Ron’s neck. ‘I just… I don’t like keeping secrets from Sirius, you know that.’

‘I know! I just…’ Ron sighs. ‘Once we tell them, we need to tell my family, too, and once we do that, the teasing will start and this… This won’t be just ours anymore, would it? I know you want to tell them, Harry, I do too, but… Can this just be ours for a little while longer?’

Ron’s voice is so sweet against Harry’s hair and his hand runs gently against Harry’s back, he can’t help but smile against the crook of Ron’s neck; he is in love and it maybe does need to stay in-between them alone for a little longer.

‘Alright,’ he mutters, the warmth in his chest urging him to add— ‘I love you.’

From where he lies, he can feel Ron’s heartbeat speed-up just a little before the arms around his waist squeeze him closer and the lips against his hair move.

‘I love you, too.’ And it’s quiet after that, the muffled sound of the telly lulling them to sleep.

Later that night, the front door opens and a voice breaks the silence of the house.

‘I told you I could not learn all those constellations.’

‘You tried and we had a lovely pick-nic, that’s what matters.’

‘Yeah, would have been better if it didn’t start pouring—‘ Remus’ words come to a sudden halt when he takes in the two teenagers’ sleeping forms, cuddled up together on their living room couch.

‘What’s u— Oh,’ Sirius’ hand slips easily around his husband’s waist. ‘They think they are so slick.’

‘They ought to have realised we know by now, this is the… what? Fourth time? Fourth time we caught them?’

‘Seventh,’ Sirius says confidently, he’s been keeping a tally. ‘Honestly, Moony, I get this whole ‘let them come to us when they are ready’ thing but it’s getting ridiculous… I do enjoy our date nights to leave him the house to himself, though.’

‘Of course you do,’ Remus can’t help but smile, looking at Harry sleeping so peacefully. ‘The poor boy has, what, five siblings?’

‘Six, and two parents. Honestly, Moony, you are kind of awful with numbers lately.’

‘Yeah, whatever. Way too many, in my book. They deserve some privacy, God knows how little they could actually get at Molly Weasley’s house!’

‘Not too much privacy, though.’ Sirius points out and Remus can’t help but roll his eyes, taking his husband’s hand and tugging him towards their room.

‘Let’s go, let’s go, you remember tomorrow’s script—?’

‘Of course.’ Sirius deadpans. ‘Pretend we saw nothing, and that we were both way too drunk to remember anything, anyways.’

‘Good boy.’

Sirius gives the two boys one last glance before disappearing in the hallway. He is glad Harry can rest so well.

[glitcheslikeslego]

Show Me Your Moves! (Chapter 5)

AO3 STORY

Chapter 5: Baton Pass

Baton Pass switches out the user, passing all temporary stat stage increases and decreases on to the Pokémon that replaces it in battle. It also passes on all volatile status conditions. 

Sandy was a joy to be with. 

He had impeccable taste in tea, cats that won’t scratch the ever living hell out of you, and that calming aura that he gives off makes you comfy enough to just sob all your problems away. 

“You’re a very empathetic person. You’re here in your own unfortunate circumstances, and all you’re worried about is your family.” Sandy exclaimed, carefully placing a hand on your back. 

You leaned into his touch, wiping your eyes. “Yeah, I know. I can’t help it though.” 

“That’s not the issue.” Sandy leaned back as he began explaining. He pointed up with a hand, as if pointing at something. If this was all on screen, there would definitely be some sort of text or image describing what he’s saying. “The issue is that your worries stem from your distrust. You don’t trust your family to be okay while you’re gone.”

“What? I do trust them!” You yell out, sniffling. Sandy hands you a tissue. “If you do trust them, then trust in yourself that they can take care of themselves. You don’t have to worry so much.” 

You heaved a sigh before drinking the last of your tea. “This has been… nice, but I think I should head back. Still got that cleaning to do.”

Sandy looked at you worriedly. “Are you sure you don’t want my help?” 

You wave his worries off as you leave. “I’ll be fine. I stress clean, so it’s all good. See you tomorrow!”

“Yep, see ya!” Sandy waved, still worried as he watched you rush off back to the shop. 

 

 

 

Being a background character meant that you didn’t follow the episodic format the others did, so you could do whatever you wanted!

Instead of going back to the apartment like you said you would, you decided to check out one of the locations that MK and Mei frequented. 

The Anti-Gravity arcade. 

Being an ambivert had its ups and down, but today you were feeling adventurous, so you decided to steel your nerves and enter the arcade. 

The arcade was much more grand looking in person than on screen. The dance floor took up the centre, with people already dancing in the air. 

There were rows of arcade boxes on either side of the floor, with people winning a plethora of tickets. 

One spot that hasn’t really been seen though, was a snack bar. The girl manning the counter was the same girl that worked at Macaque’s shadow play, so you walked up to the snack bar. 

You got yourself a regular Soda before sitting at one of the tables in a corner. 

The lights were bright and the music was loud, you could only imagine how terrible it would be when the Porty Clone takes over. 

You were sipping your drink and minding your own business when someone popped up next to you.

“Hiya!” You jumped, almost choking on your drink, and you looked over to see… MK, with Mei next to him. It was Mei who greeted you with a smile. 

A look of recognition passed MK’s face. “Yeah! It is you! I told you.” He smiled triumphantly, making Mei roll her eyes. 

“Yeah yeah. You’re Sandy’s friend, right?” Mei asked excitedly, and you nodded, too nervous to speak. 

While you thought that they might have been here, you weren’t expecting them to talk to you. 

“Sandy talks about you all the time!” MK exclaimed. 

That surprised you. “He does?”

“Yeah! He says you’re really nice, and helpful at his tea shop!” Mei said. “Wanna join us? We were gonna hit the dance floor!” 

You awkwardly smiled, finished your drink and nodded, tossing the empty cup into the garbage can you passed on your way to the dance floor with the show's main characters.

~~~

<PREV ~ NEXT>

[romeulusroy]

Dependence Pt. 5 (Roy!Sibling x Roy Family)

Alternatively Titled: We Ain't Angry At You Love, You're The Greatest Thing We Lost I am getting this lyric tattooed on my body I'm dead serious

Characters: Kendall, Roman, Shiv, Connor, Logan

Word Count: 1,879

Inspired By: You're Gonna Go Far by Noah Kahan

Tag List: @locke-writes

A/N: All I have is the snippet to listen to and it makes me sob every time. I'm thinking of moving 1k miles away from my family, from my home, from everything, and every bone in my body wishes they felt the way this song feels. Every nerve in my body wants them to feel this way. I hope they'll miss me that much. Anyways, it reminded me of Baby Roy and the Succession finale. Yes I did cry while writing, what about it lol!! Feedback is always appreciated!!! 💜💜💜

Dependence Pt. 1 / Dependence Pt. 2 / Dependence Pt. 3 / Dependence Pt. 4

Being The Youngest Roy Would Include: Pt. 1

Being The Youngest Roy Would Include: Pt. 2

You’re gonna go far, he says into you, his arms tight around you. You try to stop yourself from crying. Again. Sniffling into him, into his shoulder. Everything about this moment makes you want to turn around. To call the whole thing off. But then, how can you call off an entire lifetime? Your bags linger at your feet, everything you could fit into two suitcases. You didn’t start out like this, the day didn’t start out like this, but as it progressed, as things fell into place, you realized there was no place for you. In their lives, of course. Connor promised you your old room again, if you ever wanted to visit. But this place, this apartment, this city, it wasn’t yours anymore. It wasn’t home. You’re not sure it ever was to begin with. You remember to call me when you land, okay? An,whenever you need someone to talk to, I’m always here. He has this shake in his voice, the kind that tells you he’s doing his very best to keep himself together. Composed. You can’t say anything, the words getting caught in your throat. Instead you just nod, sobbing into his sweater. He holds you tighter, rubbing your back. When he stops, he cups your face, meeting your teary eyes, wiping your cheeks. Pops would be so proud of you. He wouldn’t. He never was. But at some point you have to stop chasing something that never existed, something you can never have. You smile for Connor’s sake. Maybe he really believes it. Maybe he’s just saying it. Either way, you’re glad you went to him. You’re glad you told him. You’re gonna so far, you have no idea. He sighs, as if the words have been sitting on his chest for a long time. As if this is the first time in your life he’s felt real, genuine relief. You want to be held a little longer. You want to be loved the only way a father, a father by choice rather than blood, could ever love their child. Without conditions, without restraints, without a ceiling or a floor. Infinite. Beautiful. You’ll have to let go eventually, part ways, but for now he holds you like he did when you were an infant. Never could he have imagined the life you’d live. It was a fantastic surprise. You were a fantastic surprise. 

You continue to awe him every single day. 

You catch him at the bar, nursing a martini. Your hands begin to shake, but you settle them at your side, sitting beside him. You can do this. He wasn’t expecting you, sliding his drink away from you. You’re okay, you’ll be okay. You can be around it, you have to in order to say goodbye. He notices the luggage before you have the chance to say anything. Going somewhere? You bite your inner cheek. Yes, actually. He turns to you. His stitches have opened, the wound bright and red. Angry. You try to read his expression. There’s a hint of fear. He saw you in that bed, screaming, crying, begging not to be alive anymore. You knew he meant it out of love, but you couldn’t face it anymore. You couldn’t be looked at like that anymore. If you wanted a fresh start, a real one, you had to get away. You had to find somewhere with people who saw you for you, not your mistakes, not your darkest moments. Somewhere inside him, he understood that. Somewhere inside him, he wanted the same thing. Leaving for him wasn’t an option, though. Is that so? What does Mummy think about that? He sips his drink. You don’t want to roll your eyes at him. You don’t want to be annoyed with him. You’re not sure how long it’ll be before you’ll see him again. I, I didn’t tell her. I’m not telling her. He lets your answer settle for a moment. You’re not sure what he’s thinking. You never have been sure. Roman could be so unreadable, so unpredictable. You keep talking, trying to fill the silence, a lump developing in your throat. You’re speaking so fast, almost hysterical. You have to explain yourself. You have to explain yourself or you’ll die. I have to get away. I’m not sure for how long, I just, I can’t be here anymore. I have to stay sober and I can’t do that here. It’s not because of you, because of any of you, I want you to know that. I’m, I’m sorry if that upsets you or makes you ang- But he interrupts you, leaning over, hugging you. Not as tight as Connor. It’s as if he’s afraid to touch you still, afraid to hurt you. Gentle. You feel his muscles tense then relax. Whatever you gotta do, you do. Just don’t scare me like that again. You promise him it will never happen again. 

It won’t. It doesn’t. The hurt from home doesn’t follow you, wherever you go. 

You can’t reach the other two. You try calling, the deja vu twisting your stomach. The last time you tried to reach them, the last time. . . No. Stop it. This isn’t that. You’re better now. Shiv picks up, waiting for you to talk. You don’t care what happened. You don’t care what went down in that boardroom. You don’t care that he’s CEO now, that you lost. She’s your sister. The same sister that comforted you after nightmares, who iced your bruises, who wanted the best for you from day one. Whatever happened couldn’t change that. She gave you so many chances, time after time, and you let her down. You let everyone down. She still cares, she always would. You would, too. The words come up, out, before you can stop them. How much you love her, how much you’re going to miss her, how badly you need this, how much you wish you could be with her right now. You hear her take a sharp inhale in, a shudder in her voice. I’ll come and visit, yeah? Wherever you end up, I’ll be there, okay? You nod. Yeah, yeah of course. You can feel your eyes well up again. She was your big sister, the only maternal figure you’d ever known. It wasn’t your mother who shushed you to sleep at night, holding you close. It wasn’t your mother who gasped at the bruises you gave yourself in a fit of rage. It wasn’t your mother who climbed into that hospital bed with you when you were sick and scared and didn’t want to fall asleep alone. It was Shiv. You're Shivy. Your sister. Do you have everything packed? Always fretting, always worrying. Yes, Mom. You laugh. You know she’ll be a good mother. Maybe she doesn’t think so, maybe Tom doesn’t, but you do. She took care of you your whole life. She’s still trying to. You um, you have your chargers? Extra socks? Do you need me to- I’ll be okay, you interrupt. You’re both quiet for a moment, taking one another in. You can feel her wanting. Wanting to reach through the phone and kiss your cheek, to hold you so close your hearts beat at the same time. Wanting to keep you there forever, not wanting to let go.

She always knew this day would come, though. You’d always had big plans. You could never be confined like the rest of them. 

You couldn’t reach Kendall. It went straight to voicemail. So you sat in the lobby of Waystar, trying to figure out exactly how to put it. Every thought in your mind, every thank you and I’m sorry and forgive me and I forgive you. Everything that’s ever sat between you two into a compact, meaningful message. You didn’t want to worry him, that was the last time you wanted, for any of them. You sat and watched everyone pass by. They were celebrating the new owner, one of the biggest deals they’d ever made. Some on their way to get drunk, others drunk already. Too much champagne. Finally, after a long time, you called again, listening to his voice play the message. Kendall, it’s me, you start. What next? You’re sorry. You’re sorry for putting them through all that you’ve put them through. The alcohol, the drugs, all those scary nights where they didn’t know where you were, if you were okay. All those nights where you weren’t sure where you were, if you’d make it out. You were sorry for calling him that night, for putting the blame on him if anything happened. You were sorry for blaming him. For not being the baby sibling he deserved. He deserved better, he expected better. I’m uh, I’ll be out of town for a while. You forgave him. You forgave him for all those outbursts, all those times he hurt you and Shiv and Con and especially Rome. You forgave him for turning into your father, the man you despised, the man you feared, the man you loved. I’ll be okay. I won’t, I’m not, I’m clean. I’ll stay that way. You loved him. You loved him despite the fear, despite the outbursts, despite the narrow path he chose to take. You loved him, and love him, because he’s your brother. He begged for you to stay awake, stay conscious. He wanted you to live even when you didn’t. That night, he looked like a ghost. I’m gonna miss you. A lot. Thank you for taking care of me, for loving me, for being there, you want to say. Thank you for being the best brother you could given the circumstances. Thank you for protecting me from him, from everyone. Call me when you can. I love you. Bye. 

This isn’t some magic answer to your sobriety. This isn’t a cure. Hell, it might be you running away again. Who knows? But you can feel it, finally. The anger, the rage, the wrath. That burden starts to feel less heavy day by day. It won’t disappear completely. You’re a Roy, it’s in your blood, in your genes. But it gets easier to carry, to hold, to take with you everywhere. You don’t want to cave in, not as much. Sure, a strong drink would help, but you made promises. You made promises you’d like to keep. Promises to yourself and to your family. You’d call Connor when you landed, wherever that is. You’ll tell Shivy, too, so she can come and visit. You’ll check in with Rome and give Kendall another call. Hopefully this time he picks up. Hopefully this time you can have a real conversation, you can talk to him, really thank him for all that he’s done. But you know your place is not here. Your people are, they always will. That mausoleum will be waiting for you like it waits for them. Eternity you’ll get to spend by their sides. Now though, now you have the choice. The choice to get better. The choice to get away. The choice to be free. You’ll see them again, you always will. They’re your brothers, your sister, the people who raised you. You’ll see them again despite the distance.

They can’t get rid of you that easily.

[camp-vamps-radio-b1tch]

Gonna make headcannons for my favorite characters because WHY NOT! >o<

Alejandro

He was born in Spain and lived there for about 5 years before moving to Canada

He has a 3 year age gap with José (he’s 19) and a 9 year age gap with Carlos (he’s 25)

Alejandro gets mad easily if he’s annoyed because of José. When he was younger If kids at school annoyed him he would express their anger, but soon he realized that kids didn’t like that about him, so when he moved he just got silently upset and would just ignore them if he got angry at them.

When Alejandro was 10, Carlos turned 19 and moved out to go pursue his soccer career

Since Spain Schools are so much different from Canadian schools (I mean in Spain the get to go home to eat lunch) Alejandro didn’t like the schools in Canada (he’s used to the schedule now)

Alejandro likes to put eyeliner on (sometimes mascara) and he has like this whole skin routine too

Alejandro straightens his hair almost every day, but when it gets wet it curls up. (His hair is more wavy then curly though)

Obviously he likes Carlos more than José. And since José never really liked him, Alejandro wanted to make sure that Carlos liked him. So whenever he did something that would upset Carlos, Alejandro got really upset at himself

Alejandro speaks Spanish to his parents most of the time, but talks to his brothers in English.

José beats Alejandro in pretty much everything, so he hates when he loses to other people. When he was younger he would get upset and almost cry, but now he just gets mad.

Alejandro listens to a good amount of Spanish music. Idk who he listens to exactly (despite me being Latina lol) but I feel like he’s listen to Selena

Alejandro doesn’t have many genuine friends. He’s using them all in some way. But he gets closer to Tyler and Lindsay. They annoy him sometimes but he starts to actually enjoy their company

Duncan

Duncan said he has brothers at one point in the show (so I gave him two) Duncan is the middle child. He has a decently big age gaps between his brothers too (idk how many years exactly but yeah)

His older brother (Dexter) was what inspired Duncan’s punk fashion and demeanor.

Dexter was a troublemaker as well, which influenced Duncan. When Dexter realized that he toned down what he did more, because he didn’t want Duncan to go too far down this rabbit hole of like crime and stuff (it didn’t work. Duncan is like worse actually)

Duncan is a major dog person. He loved his dog and cried when he ran away (he like never cried as a kid)

He got Scruffy when he was 13

Pretty much his whole family is disappointed in him (and Dexter) because of how much they act up.

The whole family went crazy when Duncan got sent to Juvie

Duncan knows that most of his family doesn’t like him, and that his dad doesn’t like him that much either.

His dad actually favors his younger brother (haven’t decided on a name yet) because he a good kid and doesn’t cause trouble and Duncan sees that. He doesn’t hold a grudge against his brother though because he understands why.

He loves giving nicknames to people (especially people he likes)

Probably a Mama’s boy

He collects lighters, and when they run out of fluid he puts them in a drawer. He has like a shit ton.

I’m a Duncan smokes kinda gal

Duncan steals clothes like a lot because he doesn’t have any money lmao

Physically he’s pretty weak. I mean he can throw a punch but can’t take one

He wears those over the ear headphones and covers them in stickers

DJ and Geoff are his best friends, but Duncan never pressures DJ into anything too crazy because he knows that DJ isn’t like him when it comes to crazy stuff (whether that be like smoking or vandalism)

He actually really likes hanging out and talking to Gwen. And why he does find her attractive, sometimes he kinda regrets dating her (SORRY I DONT SHIP GWUNCAN)

He doesn’t mind being friends with Zoey because he can drop his tough guy act a bit and she won’t judge (actually he can do that with DJ and Geoff too)

Since I’m a Malcan shipper lol I like to think that Mal and Duncan didn’t talk that much (bc Duncan didn’t recognize him at first in All Stars) but they interacted a few times. They both found the other attractive and kissed like once.

Sometimes he hangs out with Heather. It’s like a like-hate friendship where they genuinely hate each other sometimes but when the time is right they hang out together and have fun

Mal

(I did some research on DID so I hope the fronting stuff his accurate)

He was created by Mike when he was very young, protecting Mike from physical harm and abuse

Since he would front and get exposed to violent acts, he quickly learned how to fight back, which is why he’s so violent

He holds a lot of Mike’s trauma

He does not trust anyone, and he doesn’t care about anyone

Sometimes when Mike stressed about stuff that involved his parents, Mal would front. Usually during that time, Mal would find things to do that were kinda violent

As Mike got older, Mal started getting more violent. Mike didn’t like that

Mal found hurting his abusers very satisfying, so eventually violence in general became fun for him

Not so much Mal, but Mike’s closet is full of all kinds of different clothes for all his alters. Mal’s clothes are more dark and grungey

The reason Mike got sent to jail was for assault. Who he assaulted idk but neither Mike or Mal liked them.

Mal fronted pretty much the entire time in juvie because Mal thought that Mike couldn’t handle some of the people in there, and because Mal had gotten them there in the first place.

Once Mike realized what Mal did in juvie, and everything he did before he pushed Mal into his subconscious as he did not want Mal to front anymore. That made Mal extremely upset but he found himself not being able to front anymore

The reason he’s just straight up evil in All-Stars is because he was concealed for so long and felt that it was unfair and had bottled up anger

All the alters knew that Mike needed to leave his house, so Mal also tried to win the Million for all of them, because no matter what happened, he was created by Mike to protect him. Of course Mal was his own person but that in a way was a part of his purpose

Okay! Yippie! This took like 3 hours to write everything so if you read all this ily <33

I love these little goobers so much GRAAA

I might add things every once in a while based off other peoples headcannons so yeah just thought id say that lol

Maybe if I come up with enough I’ll like reblog this and list some more :3

[goodnightmemes]

TIKTOK SENTENCE STARTERS PART 7

some of these are quotes from tiktok creators, and some are from various other forms of media that were popular audios/trends on tiktok

❛ I’ve slept with like 1/3rd of them. Some would call me a groupie. I would also call me a groupie. ❜

❛ What do you think about Celine Dion? Are you just done with her? ❜

❛ We can as a family just scroll through Grindr. ❜

❛ Oh no, someone’s driving by. Get small. ❜

❛ Is my butt juicy yet? I’m really looking for some instant gratification. ❜

❛ I can’t even control my emotions, how am I supposed to control a machine? ❜

❛ Who airdropped Markiplier!Jesus at the Shrek rave?! ❜

❛ The best way to get back at someone who wronged you is to live a happy life. But chemically I can’t do that. So I’m gonna fuck his dad. ❜

❛ I send my best emails unmedicated. ❜

❛ The mothman stole my catalytic converter in Point Pleasent, West Virginia. ❜

❛ Bigfoot ate all the bottles out of my recycling bin and called my mom a slut. ❜

❛ The chupacabra keeps stealing packages off my front porch and sending my wife suggestive text messages.  ❜

❛ I don’t trust your physical therapist because she also said you move your hands like this and you get rid of ghosts.

❛ I see Gods law not as a restriction but as a challenge. Now give me the ranch! ❜

❛ Satan will have to dig deeper just to hold me! ❜

❛ We may be low income but we’re not low in c*m. ❜

❛ He says he only hangs out with you because there are more spiders in your house than average.  ❜

❛ I am the silliest of enemies to have. I will make powerpoints disparaging your character, and I will keep this bit going for a minimum of five years. ❜

❛ I will not be silenced by the mailman. ❜

❛ If God didn’t want me to commit fatherless behavior he should have given my mother better taste in men. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have things to do. ❜

❛ Bro, they bell peppered downtown. Bro. They bell peppered it. How could you bell pepper my downtown? Bro, they bell peppered me. Dude, I got bell peppered. ❜

❛ When you’re sitting there mixing ice cream into ramen you can’t help but think “what if this is a prank? what if they put that there just to see if they can get me to eat it?” ❜

❛ Here’s the thing: future me? Rich. I believe in her. That bitch is wealthy. Current me? Broke, but I’ve got free time and I’m healthy-ish. So I’m booking trips to faraway places on that bitches credit card, and I am / will be my own sugar mama. ❜

❛ It seems like nobody wants to dabble in the dark arts anymore. It’s all candle spells and rosemary. ❜

❛ The other day I tripped over a lemon hex and dislocated one of my chakras. Thank god for those Reiki healing classes I took at the YMCA. ❜

❛I just don’t understand this younger generation of witches anymore. I mean, if you’re not in a cemetery after midnight summoning the spirits of your dead ancestors to seek vengeance on your landlord for raising the rent, then what are you doing? ❜

[cevansbrat0007]

https://youtu.be/-KDS_NuXYHI

This is how I’d imagine Andy and jr ngl

Summary: Don't ever ask Andy about his business...

Warnings: Fluff, Girl!Dad Andy, Shady A.J., Cursing, Shenanigans, Brief Talk of Murder, Minors DNI

A/N: Part of my ongoing Growing Pains Series. All mistakes are my own.

___

You're heading into the kitchen in search of an afternoon snack when you almost collide with your son, A.J. At thirteen-years-old, he's already a good head taller than your 5"2 frame. The boy was growing like a weed – with no signs of slowing down. At this rate he was going to be taller than Andy by the time he hit sixteen. 

“Woah!” He , grabbing your arm in an attempt to steady you. “You really gotta start watching how you take those corners, Mom. I really thought you were about to run me over.”

“Sorry, honey. I was on a mission – need something yummy to tide me over until dinner. Preferably something crunchy.” You tell him before shaking off his hold so that you can wrap an arm around his shoulders. “We got anything good in here?”

“Probably not. RoRo ate the last of the potato chips last night.” He answers as he follows you back into the kitchen towards the pantry.

Well, that was disappointing. You’d kind of had your heart set on some salt and vinegar kettle chips. “That’s alright.” Sighing, you begin to rifle through the cupboards. 

Maybe you’d munch on a few sourdough pretzel bites instead. 

“Looking for the pretzels?” 

“Uh huh.” You turn to stare at him over your shoulder. “Why? Don’t tell me those are gone too?”

“Yep.” He confirms. “Dad and KitCat polished ‘em off a couple days ago.”

“Seriously?” You grunt. “But everyone knows that the ones with the honey mustard seasonings are my favorite! And they still ate them?” 

Wasn’t family supposed to love you enough not to eat your shit? Wasn’t that, like, a cardinal rule or something?

“Mom…I really hate to break it to you, but…” A.J. leans over to rest his forearms on the island, his expressive hazel eyes dancing with mischief. “We’re living with a bunch of heathens. And at this point, I really think they’re beyond help. They’re way too far gone.”

Now that makes you laugh.

“You’re probably just saying that because they didn’t offer you any.” You’re still chuckling as you decide to try your luck with some hummus and carrots you’d stashed in the back of the fridge.

“They were incredibly rude. Katrina flat out told me that hoped she offended my “delicate sensibilities”.” He grumbles with a snort. “And then she got mad when I asked her how many cats she planned on living with when she moved out after college.”

“Bet she didn’t like that one very much.” You mutter as you decide against the carrots in favor of some garlic pita bread. 

“She didn’t. Even called me a few choice names that I’d rather not repeat. Mostly because I can’t pronounce them. And I refuse to look them up.” He sniffs, turning up his nose in mock outrage. “I told her that if she wants to insult her baby brother, then she needs to do it like a normal person.” 

“Right…I’ll, uh, ask your sister to stop using the dictionary to insult you the next time I see her.” You dip a chunk of pita into your hummus before popping it in your mouth. Shit was good.

“Thank you! She’s worse than BiBi now.” 

A.J. tries to steal a piece of your snack, only to pout when you slap his hand away. You boy was seriously starting to resemble Andy more and more these days, from their facial expressions to their shared mannerisms. Sometimes it was downright scary.

“You’re welcome, darling.” You’re about to shovel another bite of food into your mouth when a thought strikes you. “Mm! Speaking of Bianca, I thought she said her boyfriend was gonna stop by."

"He did." He grunts with a shrug.

That’s…odd. You think. You hadn’t heard the door while you were upstairs. And even though you’d been laying down, it wasn’t like you’d been sleeping or anything.  

"What? When?" You cough as you choke down a piece of bread. 

“Eh, probably about thirty minutes ago.” Comes your son’s noncommittal response. “I caught him before he could ring the bell."

And now you were doubly confused. Because A.J. never really seemed to care about the boys his sisters brought around. In fact, he mostly ignored them unless they brought food or wanted to talk about video games. Otherwise, he just stared at them without blinking until his foe got too uncomfortable.

"Good thing you were by the door, I guess.” You motion for him to hand you a bottle of water sitting on the edge of the counter so that you can wash down your snack. “But where is he now?"

Another shrug. And then he looks off in the direction of the yard. 

“Dad took him out back. Might’ve said something about wanting to show him the new shed."

“But A.J., sweetheart, we’ve had that shed for over a year now.” Okay, you were officially confused. What wasn’t he telling you? And where was BiBi’s boyfriend?

“It’s new to Eddie.” He looks back at you with unrepentant eyes before striding over to the refrigerator to grab himself a couple of black cherry sodas.  

“Could’ve sworn his name was Everett, but –” You force yourself to stop and think about what your son just said. “Wait a minute! Why the hell did your father take him back there?” You quickly reach for a paper towel to wipe your hands. 

This was not good. 

“Honestly, mom…” A.J. pauses to crack open his drink. “It's best if you don't know. Dad says plausible deniability is always the way to go in these kinds of situations.” He takes a deep pull from the can before letting out a small burp. “Sorry.”

Your feelings of concern were slowly morphing into panic. 

"W-what situation? What happened with your Dad and Everett?" You look and sound as if you’re prepared to shake somebody, which prompts him to take several steps away from you. Your son was smart enough to know to keep himself out of snatching distance. 

“A word to the wise, mother. Never ask us about our business." With that, he spins on his heel prepared to walk away. “This conversation never happened."

Of course Andy picks that particular moment to join both you and your boy in the kitchen, draping a heavy arm atop his shoulder. By all appearances, he looks like he’s been busy toiling in the yard. And he’s rocking the dirty smudges to prove it.  

“Andrew – what is going on?" Your wide eyes flit back and forth between your husband and son, waiting for one of them to break. “And where is Everett?” 

“I tried to tell her, Dad.” Your son murmurs. Without missing a beat, A.J. hands his father the other unopened can of soda, which he graciously accepts. 

“I know, son. And it’s nothing, sweetheart. BiBi’s friend, Elliott, just stopped by to tell us that he’s gonna have to miss our barbecue on the seventeenth. Something about choosing to study abroad in Russia. Nice kid. Sent him along with well wishes to his family and prayers for a safe flight.” He offers you a one armed shrug coupled with an all-too innocent grin, letting you know that he’s over this entire conversation.

“But why would you –?” Shit. “I thought he was gonna spend the summer working for his Uncle in Salem? What did you do to him?” 

Just how much damage control were you going to have to do here?

Andy clears his throat as he sips his soda. “Listen to the boy.” He gives A.J.’s shoulder an affectionate squeeze. “And please, my love, don’t ever ask us about our business.”

“But I thought…” You look away for a second, squinting at your sock covered feet while you collect your thoughts and puzzle this out. “Why would you –?” 

You turn back to them, only to discover that they’re long gone. Groaning, you fetch some tylenol from a nearby cabinet and toss it back. And then you go off to find your shoes. 

Time to check the backyard. 

As long as that poor young man wasn’t somewhere buried in your garden, you’d leave your Barber Boys to their freaking business. But until then, well…

Your family might as well start calling you Nancy fucking Drew.

END