#and we all love to joke about how much everyone wanted edwin. but. everyone who wanted him ended up hurting him. and that's a LOT. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

thatonesongyouretryingtoremember · 4 months

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annotated DBD!!! episode FIVE

NIKO'S VOICE in the thingy!

"dyou wanna kiss monty" *cue charles face*

YOU CAN HEAR CHARLES' MOM CRYING OH NOOO

TNN'S SCREAM LMAOO

not the David/Charles paralells

Edwin. I think he really is trying to make a joke there. At least he can read the room now.

Eddie's maaad

Well I guess Charles can't read the room

how did he know??

also. ghosts don't sleep so they don't have nightmares. not important just interesting.

this scene is actually so sweet. more breakups on screen should be this sweet.

Who are the Taurus and Aries in the group?

I blame the guy from School Spirits for making me trust these assholes.

is that the University of Dublin?

it was exactly the plan.

they were gonna go to school together awww

they didn't even get split up after dying..

"they're just like us" "they're just best mates" Charles what are you saying

These guys REALLY don't want to do a seagull thing, huh.

MUSIC

only partly relevant but there's a US flag behind Niko as she mails the letter

wait where have I heard the music before?? the thing that plays when Niko sees Maxine's letter?

The music that plays after the chapter title!!!

the "Pathway to Knowledge" sign has a bunch of circles in it

Niko is so dramatic the way she moves omg

Charles: haha the cliff thing was good right?

Edwin: *sighs in oh fuck* *changes the subject*

Charles: Oh so we're talking about THIS now are we?

Also I think it's really cool for a teen show to have characters this excited about kissing. Like, I feel like lots of shows only have teens who are much more involved, and not everyone is into that.

Niko-ass question

the way he talks and moves when he says "I felt it up here" (in his head) wtfff he's so cute

aw you've been holding on to that one

the tone of voice when he says "of course"

AND now we're back to these two

the music here is so cute

interruption trope

Niko's smile when she looks at them all <2

Interesting that keeping them alive is what gets Niko to finally tell these two to be nice...

I love her voice when she says "outlook not so good"

Also it's interesting that Niko checks the 8-ball so frequently. She wants to know when she will die. (she won't tho!)

ew that mushroom thing CANNOT smell good

Also don't mushrooms have roots?? that soil looks shallow.

"I was supposed to see Edwin today, but of course they're off on another stupid case" he sounds like a caricature of himself. I love him.

actually I think his shirt might actually have a car on it

the way he's sittingggg

maybe you wanna try.... harder

why was that so hard for her to say? Also I feel like there's a double meaning here..

Monty perks up his little head IN GONNA DIEE

I don't know what that stereotype teenage tone of voice is called, but Monty has it every time he talks to Esther and it's hilarious

DON'T YOU DARE MENTION THAT BLOOD GODDESS NAME

There are little plants in jars on the windowsill

ew she grabs his face. threats of violence

So they don't remember even leaving the party, huh

Edwin is so serious lol

Also have they NEVER been to Maren's house?? In a different memory, Brad was totally at Maren's. Why did he never see the tree until he died?

I wonder if Maren only painted the eyes after hearing about her pictures.. as if she could feel people looking at her. That's pretty sad to think about.

no bro the eyes are not part of the bark

Brills? Really?

Charles has his Doom Patrol coat but Edwin literally didn't even change clothes

Why is that girl even talking to a "reporter" then?? do you think a reporter will be impressed by your drug use? do you think she will care if you can't give her information?

he wants to be so cool with the glasses

I remember that Jenny said a similar skeletons line at one point, maybe with the letters?? I'll have to recheck my notes!

why does this mascot bitch care??

THE KNIVES

so assuming Jenny is being literal that every edible bachelorette in town has cats, we can assume that there are fewer than 146 single women in all of Port Townsend.

her lil look round the room

Does Niko have a pompom stuck to her nail???

maggot-infested!?

Trawler is a bad name for a newspaper

we don't actually have time to see Charles face when Richy mentions the supposed suicide pact

Crystal: I talked to Maren, and (serious words)

Edwin, looking at Charles: 👁👄👁

Charles' eyebrow raise at the word "hand jobs" LMAOO

she really said ur 2 pussy 2 kill ppl. not me tho

MUSIC!!!

and for the whole rest of the episode, we never find out more about Shelby apparently stalking Brad

OH. MY. FUCK.

rule number one: if she sends you anonymous floral stationary letters from a typewriter, YOU are not the over-the-top crazy one.

is there a board on the wall with three clocks???

He rly said "ur too hot and jock-like to converse with her"

she died in her blue dragon tracksuit.

Those two REALLY like doing that creepy teleport thing, huh.

Also they totally ignore Crystal for this entire interaction

"can fuel a hyste- can change a ghost" look who's on his misogyny redemption arc

nevermind

at least he's being all business and actually wants to get to the bottom of it

I don't know what to say exactly, but I love the entire Crystal-Charles interaction after the Shelby thing

oh yeah, and the eggshells line! I said that was important!

what does a peacock feather tattoo mean??

"run" sure. totally not stalking.

I think this is the first time in the series that Jenny makes a joke. She really was opening up.

the way when Maren mentions adderall, Charles looks down like 'damn it' and Edwin is like "hmmm"

perhaps we should follow up with this 'Molly' character

Also I kinda do wanna hear the molly story now. what exactly was going on?

why don't you want to be seen with her, Maren? because you don't want her death to trace back to you?

Edwin is already a little suspicious of Maren...

yes Edwin, we all care about her bathroom.

there's. a fucking doll shoe glued to her photo wall??

that is a weird fuckin place to put a light switch

the frickin. lean in front of the closet.

wait there's a ballerina thing!! like Isolde from the comics!

random round red lantern on the dresser. sure.

there are lights on by the closet, but none by the bed and none of the overheads. is that weird, or am I weird?

he just fuckin. breaks it open. I guess Maren knows less about the killing biz than Esther.

Thank gods Crystal has the sense to not drink that!

Do you think they have Maren a green phone case just so we could tell hers apart?

The way she doesn't even realize what she was doing until it was over..

pk but why tf did they go out of their way to write ""desire"" into the script?? "I've got zero desire to tell them" NOBODY TASKS LIKE THAT

why is there one random really bright light??

As far as I know, nobody told Crystal about Edwin's death, right?? Did she figure it out when they were talking to TNN or something?

"cutting meat can be really cathartic"

dragon tattoo??

what's her ear tattoo?? if anyone has a tattoo guide for Jenny lmk

your oversized nightshirt

she can just accidentally see into Jenny's THIRD FLOOR window from that close by in the alley and see what she's watching??

Good for Jenny, she is always straight up and says what she feels

I LOVE the backlighting bc even though this isn't a cartoon, Machine has such a good character silhouette. the obvious cardigan and loose skirt. the chunky mary Jane's. peak character design incredible shape language, looks fantastic with the cleaver.

Jenny is alive only because Maxine tripped on some shit and impaled herself. Holy fuck.

Maxine: overturns the fucking table

Crystal: um why are there flowers in here

they met up with those guys back at the school.

your gonna what?

I love the gloved hand drawing the bag all the way closed. like why does that make it look like they're about to make out in there. also the little melody that plays at that time!!

the random mix of warm and cool lights. okay.

I love that Charles can actualy talk about his feelings now!! that, and he and Crystal made up.

Ironic. worrying about being bad is what Edwin says means you're good, so do you then have to not worry? I mean, at least he tries.

What is Charles thinking when Edwin says he's the best person he knows? does he trust Edwin's opinion on that?

"let's get you sorted first" and then that little sniff. there's so much going on there.

Edwin was being pretty courteous by not making it about himself, but he also just want ready to talk about his shit yet. Charles might feel cared for, but he also might worry that Edwin can't come to him with this stuff anymore, but he is still respectful and A)asks about Edwin's feelings and B) doesn't press the issue

David wants to give Crystal a smooth brain!? is that what he said?

Also yeah. he seems really excited to eat some dumpster fish.

She wants to kill him.

why is the fog. glowing.

I mean, trust this show to always have some random-ass light source.

WHEE

so Monty must have met Charles and Edwin near the butcher shop, then Edwin went off with Monty and Charles saw whatever the fuck happened to Crystal. Well, it must have been some other time on the way, actually, because um. Edwin editor not have left of he saw the whole. Production. going on there.

"I have something to tell you" Monty is so fucking excited :(((

"I think it best of we stop seeing eachother" WHY. It's this, like. A Yue thing? He just thinks being around Monty is too confusing to deal with?

If Edwin thinks Monty isn't in love with him, then all he's doing is saying that he's in love with Charles. So why would he want to stop seeing Monty? If he DOES know Monty likes him, why would he draw it out so long and let himself be misconstrued?

I think that Edwin changes his mind about what to say literally as he says it. New territory for him, I'm sure.

Monty's voice is so sadd when he says baggage

Do you think Monty knew that Edwin wouldn't feel him?

while you don't want things to be awkward, then what? I hate when characters get cut off. I WANNA KNOW!!!

MUSIC

the songs in this show always match the vibe PERFECTLY!

Also Monty's FACE. I always say you can tell this is his first time with people feelings because he puts them ALL THE WAY on display.

He's sad bc Edwin doesn't like him back but he's also maybe upset that he failed Esther but also scared of what Esther will think/do and probably guilty for thinking about Esther instead of Edwin but also guilty for having feelings for Edwin both because of Edwin's reaction and bc of his mission and also hurt that Edwin doesn't live him back and also blindsided because he thought otherwise and like. there's so many things going on and none of them even really occurred to him before and he's thinking up every single one in succession and you can see it on his face.

NOT THE CAT EYES

#dead boy detectives #dbd netflix #about the dead boys

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irish-urn · 2 years

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I would love to hear more of your thoughts on G&N in this episode because ... yikes.

Oh boy. Oh boy.

Okay, let's start at the beginning where George is completely oblivious to Edwin's crush on Molly, but Nora is aware. Now, is Nora aware simply because EVERYONE ELSE IS because Edwin has all the subtly of a brick to the face? I suspect so. It's not hard to figure out. But George is not really listening to what Edwin is saying; I think he's only catching some of the conversation. He's more interested in eating (is Nora's cooking that much better than what he's used to?)

THEN we've got Nora completely out of the loop with Lizzie's soccer. Now: why is Lizzie talking to George about this instead of her mom? Is it because she knows that Nora is that ignorant when it comes to sports (she didn't even know soccer had a captain???? Please tell me she's joking!!!) and that George is into sports, and so for once she wanted an active audience? I kinda suspect so. Lizzie actually wanted to be heard, so she went where she would be -- because George likes sports.

Now, to give credit where credit is due: Nora is somewhat concerned that she's that much out of the loop with Lizzie. But the thing that gets me is that she lets George distract and soothe her instead of facing the problem: they avoid it.

Now, at some point, they must have talked it over as a couple again, because then we have them doing that quiz with Lizzie. And... my gosh. They. Are. Scrambling. And I found it kinda interesting that Nora seemed to be able to answer more questions about the Venturis and George about Casey (they both SUCKED with Lizzie, my poor angel); is that because Nora is trying to get to learn her new husband's children (I suspect so). And Casey is just so loud that even George can't help but pick up some things.

So they fail DISMALLY at the quiz. Like, 10% right. That's terrible. Lizzie is so disappointed and annoyed AS SHE SHOULD BE. So they sit there, kinda feeling sorry for themselves, make a joke about calling the social worker themselves AND THEN HEAR DEREK AND SAM WRESTLING IN THE OTHER ROOM AND DON'T DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT. Which MEANS: they don't actually plan on changing their behavior. Do they feel bad/guilty about failing that quiz: Yes. But they haven't gotten to the next step which is: how do we fix this? How do we do better? How do we grow into better parents to these five children who need adult support, love, and consideration?

None of that. And there's no scene after that showing them doing anything differently -- no, instead we get a scene of the three younger kids spying on Casey and Sam while Derek sooks in the living room, and then a scene of Derek, Casey, and Sam eating by themselves; once again, George and Nora are avoiding the problem.

Look: I really like George and Nora as people. I think they mean well; I think Nora is clever and sharp and usually kind; I think George is good-natured and a little goofy and very chill. I just cannot get over their attitude towards parenting.

#life with derek #asks #george&nora #i shake my head in disbelief at them every episode #every now and again they actually do something right and i am always shocked

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chainofclovers · 3 years

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Ted Lasso 2x11 thoughts

For an episode that ends with a journalist Ted trusts but has (understandably) recently lied to warning Ted that he’s publishing an article about his panic attacks, it was fitting that this episode seemed entirely about what all of these characters choose to tell each other. And after most of a season of television that Jason Sudeikis has described as the season in which the characters go into their little caves to deal with things on their own, it turns out they are finally able to tell each other quite a lot.

Which is good because, um, wow, a lot is going to happen in the season finale of this show!

Thoughts on the things people tell each other behind the cut!

Roy and Keeley. I absolutely loved the moment during their photoshoot in which they bring up a lot of complicated emotional things and are clearly gutted (“gutted”? Who am I? A GBBO contestant who forgot to turn the oven on?) by what they’ve heard. We already know that Keeley and Roy are great at the kinds of moments they have before the shoot begins, in which Roy builds Keeley up and tells her she’s fucking amazing. From nearly the beginning of their relationship, they’ve supported each other and been each other’s biggest fans. But their relationship has gone on long enough that they’ve progressed from tentative arguments about space and individual needs into really needing to figure out what they mean to each other and how big their feelings are and what that means in relation to everything else. Watching these two confess about the uncomfortable kiss with Nate, the unexpectedly long conversation with Phoebe’s teacher, and—most painfully—the revelation that Jamie still loves Keeley didn’t feel like watching two people who are about to break up. (Although I could see them potentially needing space from each other to get clarity.) It felt like watching two people realize just how much they’d lose if they lost each other, which is an understandably scary feeling even—or especially—when you’re deeply in love but not entirely sure what the future holds. Not entirely sure what you’re capable of when you’ve never felt serious about someone in quite this way, and are realizing you have to take intentional actions to choose that relationship every single day. I’m excited to learn whether Roy and Keeley decide they need to solidify their relationship more (not necessarily an engagement, but maybe moving in together or making sure they’re both comfortable referring to the other as partner and telling people they’re in a committed relationship) or if things go in a different direction for a while.

Sharon and Ted. I’ve had this feeling of “Wow, Ted is going to feel so intense about how honest he’s been with Sharon and is going to end up getting really attached and transfer a lot of emotions onto the connection they have and that is stressful no matter how beneficial it has been for him to finally get therapy!” for a while now. And Sharon’s departure really brought that out and it was indeed stressful. But the amount of growth that’s happened for both of these characters is really stunningly and beautifully conveyed in this episode. Ted is genuinely angry she left without saying goodbye, and he doesn’t bury it some place deep inside him where it will fester for the next thirty years. He expresses his anger. (I also noticed he sweared—mildly—in front of her again, which is really a big tell for how much he has let his carefully-constructed persona relax around her.) He reads her letter even though he said he wasn’t going to, and he’s moved. I don’t think Ted has the words for his connection to Sharon beyond “we had a breakthrough,” but Sharon gets it, and is able to firmly assert a professional boundary by articulating her side of that breakthrough as an experience that has made her a better therapist. And is still able to offer Ted a different kind of closure by suggesting they go out before her train leaves. No matter how you feel about a patient/football manager seeing their therapist/team psychologist colleague socially, I appreciated this story because IMO it didn’t cross big lines but instead was about one final moment in this arc in which both Ted and Sharon saw each other clearly and modeled what it is to give someone what they need and to expect honesty and communication from them. I liked that Ted ends up being the one saying goodbye. (The mustache in the exclamation points!) I like that whether or not Sharon returns in any capacity (Sarah Niles is so wonderful that I hope she does, but I’m not sure), the goodbye these characters forge for themselves here is neither abandonment nor a new, more complicated invitation. It’s the end of a meaningful era, and although the work of healing is the work of a lifetime, it’s very beautiful to have this milestone.

Ted and Rebecca. So, maybe it’s just me, but it kinda feels like these two have a few li’l life things to catch up on?! (HAHHHHHaSdafgsdasdf!) I really adored their interactions in this episode. I maintain that Biscuits With The Boss has been happening this whole time (even when Ted’s apartment was in shambles, there’s biscuit evidence, and I feel like we’ve been seeing the biscuit boxes in Rebecca’s office pretty regularly too), even if it might have been more of a drive-by biscuit drop-off/feelings avoidance ritual. It was really lovely to see Ted on more even footing in Rebecca’s office, joking around until she tells him to shut up, just like the old days. And GOSH—for their 1x9 interaction in Ted’s office to be paralleled in this episode and for Ted to explicitly make note of the parallel in a way Rebecca hears and sees and understands?! MY HEART. In both of Rebecca’s confessions, she is not bringing good news but it is good and meaningful that she chooses to share with Ted. In both situations, Ted takes the moment in stride and offers acceptance equivalent to the gravity of what she has to confess. And in both situations, he’s not some kind of otherworldly saint, able to accept Rebecca no matter what because he’s unaffected by what she shares. He is affected. When he tells her about Sam, you can see a variety of emotions on his face. Rebecca is upset and Ted is calm, and even if I might have liked for him to try to talk about the risk the affair poses to the power dynamics on the team or any number of factors, I also really liked that he just accepts where she is, and—most importantly—does not offer her advice beyond examining herself and taking her own advice. A massive part of being in a relationship with another person (a close relationship of any nature) is figuring out how to support that person without necessarily having to be happy about every single thing they do. It’s so important that Ted connects what she’s just told him about Sam back to what she told him last season about her plot with the club. These both feel like truth bombs to him, and he is at least safe enough to make that clear. These are both things that impact him, things that shape how he sees her and maybe even how he sees himself. He cares about her and is capable of taking in this information; he has room for it. But it’s not something he takes lightly, and neither does she. See you next year.

Tumblr user chainofclovers and the TV show Ted Lasso. My brain is going wild thinking about all the ways the next “truth bomb” conversation could go in 3x11 or whatever. Maybe they go full consistent parallel and Rebecca confesses something else, this time about her and Ted or some other big future thing that impacts him as much or more as the other confessions have. (The same but different.) Maybe the tables turn and Ted has something to confess to her. While the 1x9 conversation ended in an embrace and the 2x11 conversation ended with a bit more physical distance (understandable given the current state of their relationship and the nature of the discussion), the verbal ending of both conversations involved voices moving into a sexier lower register while zooming in to talk specifically about their connection to each other, so I have to assume there will be some consistencies in s3 even if the circumstances will be completely different. I don’t really know where I’m going with this and I obviously will go insane if I sustain this level of anticipatory energy until Fall 2022 but I have a feeling my brain and heart are going to try!

Sam and Rebecca. I know there’s been a lot of criticism about whether this show is being at all realistic about the power dynamics and inevitable professional issues this relationship would create. On some level, I agree; I like that pretty much everyone who knows about the affair has been kind so far, but you can be kind and still ask someone to contend with reality. But I also think that in nearly every plot point on this show, the narrative is driven by how people feel about their circumstances first and foremost. (It’s why the whiteboard in the coaching office and the football commentators tell us more about how the actual football season is going from a points perspective than anyone else.) This episode reminded me how few people know about Sam and Rebecca, and how much their time together so far has been time spent in bed. The private sphere. I thought this episode really expertly brought the public sphere into it, not—thank goodness—through a humiliating exposure or harsh judgment but through an opportunity for Sam that illustrates not only all his potential to do great things but how much Rebecca’s professional position and personal feelings are in conflict with that. Could stand in the way of that. I don’t have a strong gut feeling about where this will go, but I do think Sam’s face in his final scene of this episode is telling. He started the episode wanting to see Rebecca (his most recent text to her was about wanting to connect), and Edwin’s arrival from Ghana really exploded his sense of what is possible for his life. If he’d arrived home to Rebecca sitting on his stoop prior to meeting Edwin, he’d have been delighted. Now he’s conflicted, and whatever decision he makes, he has to reckon with the reality that he cannot have everything he wants. No matter what. And Rebecca—she has taken Ted’s advice and is attempting to be honest about the fact that she can’t control Sam’s decisions but hopes he doesn’t go, and even saying that much feels so inappropriate. And I’m not sure how much she realizes about the inappropriateness of the position she’s putting him in, although maybe she’s getting there considering she exits the scene very quickly. I’ve honestly loved Rebecca’s arc this season. I think it’s realistic that she got obsessed with the intimacy she thought she could find in her phone. I think it’s realistic that her professional and personal ambitions are inappropriately linked. (They certainly were for Rupert. It’s been years since she’s known anything different; even if she’s done some significant recovery work to move on from her abusive marriage and figure out her own priorities, she’s got a long way to go.) I know there are people who will read this interaction between Rebecca and Sam as a totally un-self-aware thing on the part of “the show” or “the writers” but what I saw is two people who enjoyed being in bed together and now have to deal with the reality that they’re in two different places in their lives and that one has great professional power over the other. If that wasn’t in the show, I wouldn’t be able to see it or feel so strongly about it.

Edwin and Sam. I really enjoyed all the complexities of this interaction. Edwin is promising a future for Sam that doesn’t quite exist yet, though he has the financial means to make it happen. He offers this by constructing for Sam a Nigerian—and Ghanaian—experience unlike anything he’s found in London. Sam is amazed that this experience is here, and Edwin’s response is to explain to him that the experience is not here. Not really. The experience in Africa. Sam has of course connected to the other Nigerian players on the team, but this is something else entirely. I’m really curious if Sam is going to end up feeling that what Edwin has to offer is real or not. That sense of home and connection? So real. And so right that he would want to experience that homecoming and would want to be part of building that experience for others. But at the end of the day, he went to a museum full of actors and a pop-up restaurant full of “friends,” and is that constructed authenticity as a stand-in for a real homecoming more or less real than the home he’s building in Richmond? (With other players who stand in solidarity with him, and with well-meaning white coaches who say dumb stuff sometimes, and an a probably-doomed love interest, and a feeling that he should put chicken instead of goat in the jollof, and the ability to stand out as an incredible player on a rising team.)

Nate and everyone. But also Nate and no one. Nate’s story is so painful and I’m so anxious for next week’s episode. For a long time I’ve felt that a lot of Nate’s loyalties are with Richmond, and a lot of his ambitions are around having given so much to this place without getting a lot back, and having a strong feeling that he’s the answer to Richmond’s future. But now I’m not so sure; his ambitions have transferred into asking everyone he knows (except Ted, of course), if they want to be “the boss.” But Nate is all tactics and no communication. When he wants to suggest a new play to Ted, he hasn’t yet learned to read Ted’s language to learn that Ted is eager to hear what he has to say. And while Ted has been really unfortunately distracted about Nate and dismissive of him this season, he clearly respects Nate’s approach to football and was appreciative of the play. Nate just can’t hear that. The suit is such a great metaphor of all the things Nate is in too much pain to be able to hear clearly. Everyone digs at him for wearing the suit Ted bought him (including Will, who’s got to get little cuts in where he can, because he’s got to be sick of the way Nate treats him), but when he gets fed up his solution isn’t to go out on his own and find more clothes he likes; he asks Keeley to help him. And then crosses a major line with her...and no matter how kind she was about it, she was clearly not okay. Everything is going to blow up, and I’m so curious as to whether Nate will end up aligning himself with Rupert in some way or if he’s going to end up screwed over by Rupert and in turn try to screw over his colleagues even worse than he’s already done. Or try desperately to make amends even though it could be too late for some. Either way, I’m fully prepared to feel devastated. (And there’s no way I’m giving up on this character. If he’s able to learn, I truly believe he could end up seeking forgiveness and forging a happier existence for himself. Someday. Like in season 3 or something.)

Ted and Trent. Trent deciding to reveal his source to Ted is a huge deal, and I’m torn between so many emotions about this exposé. I’m glad it’s a Trent Crimm piece and not an Ernie Loundes piece. I’m glad that Trent made the decision to warn Ted and let him know that Nate is his source. I fear—but also hope—that this exposure will set off a chain reaction of Ted learning about some of the things he’s missed while suffering through a really bad bout with his dad-grief and panic disorder. The things Ted doesn’t know would devastate him. I wonder if Ted will want to figure out a way to make Nate feel heard and reconcile with him, and I wonder how that will be complicated if/when he realizes Nate has severely bullied Will, gets more details on how he mistreated Colin, etc. I wonder if Rebecca, whom Nate called a “shrew” right before she announced his promotion, will be in the position of having to ask Ted to fire him, or overriding Ted and doing it herself. So many questions! I have a feeling it’ll go in some wild yet very human-scaled, emotionally-nuanced direction, and I’ll be like “Oh my GOD!” but also like “Oh, of course.”

This VERY SERIOUS AND EMOTIONAL REVIEW has a major flaw, which is that none of the above conversations include mention of the absolute love letter to N*SYNC. Ted passionately explains how things should go while dancing ridiculously! Will turns on the music and starts gyrating! Roy nods supportively! Beard shouts the choreography like the Broadway choreographer of teaching grown men who play football how to dance like a boy band. Everyone is so incredibly proud when they nail it. I love them.

I cannot believe next week is the end. For now. I’m kind of looking forward to letting everything settle during the hiatus, but I’ve really loved the ride.

#ted lasso #ted lasso s2 spoilers #ted lasso 2x11 #meta by me #ALL THE FEELINGS!!!!#a lesbian watches ted lasso

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redgillan · 4 years

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Under Pastel Skies - 11

Sugar daddy!Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: Modern!AU Bucky doesn’t need anyone, especially not a sugar baby. He isn’t that desperate… but she smiles so sweetly and she’s endearingly awkward, and he’s so lonely. She’s an artist, a painter, the type of person who always puts others before herself. Throwing caution to the wind Bucky offers her a place to live, a place where she can finally paint whatever her heart desires. He doesn’t need much in return; a friend, a muse.

Word Count: 6,696

Warnings: Unprotected Sex (non explicit)

A/N: And finally... Just a word before, and it’s important, I wanted to put the explicit between two ‘*’ but I settled for one at the end because explicit means different things to different people. So whenever it starts to get too steamy for you, skip to the *. Thank you for reading, I appreciate your support!

Wannabe sugar daddies, don’t interact with this post.

Bucky moved behind the kitchen counter when he heard the door close. You and your guests were in the hallway where you took their coats and asked them to remove their shoes. He took a deep breath to calm himself. He had to stay calm, you depended on him tonight.

“It smells nice in here. What did y-”

Bucky straightened himself up and tried to keep a casual, friendly smile on his face as he came face-to-face with Okoye. He had seen enough pictures of your siblings to recognize them.

She looked surprised to find someone else there. He raised his hand and waved, and she frowned at him in confusion. The rest of the guests stopped short when they saw him waving like a dork. You pushed through them and came to his side.

“Guys, this is my friend, Bucky,” you said. “He’s the one who invited you.”

“Thanks for the invite. I hope you like wine,” Scott said, extending his hand as he walked over to Bucky.

“I sure do.”

Then he shook Wanda and Okoye’s hands, telling them how good it was to finally meet them. Your sisters introduced him to their partners, W’Kabi and Edwin who preferred to be called ‘Viz’.

You led them to the living room while Bucky prepared the drinks. W’Kabi decided to stay behind and help Bucky carry the drinks to the living room. He praised Bucky for having such a nice home.

The conversation seemed to flow easily between your siblings, though as Bucky arrived with your drink, he couldn’t help but notice that you were not participating. You took the glass from his hand, smiled then went back to staring at the coffee table. He sat next to you and rubbed soothing strokes on your arm before he reached for his drink.

Okoye was telling everyone that she had decided to return to New York after King T’Chaka’s passing. His son carried the mantle of the Black Panther, surrounding himself with his father’s Dora Milaje, but Okoye wanted to live closer to her own family.

She was a Dora Milaje, loyal to her king, but she was also a sister, loyal to her family. She felt like there were no good choices, and it ate away at her until her king found a solution to her problem. His little sister, Shuri, was starting her own business in the United States and needed her own bodyguards. Okoye accepted and W’Kabi followed her.

Scott didn’t share much. He showed everyone pictures of his little girl, Cassie, and said he was now working at Baskin-Robbins.

Wanda was evasive about her life and whereabouts. She told everyone that she’d been backpacking across Europe and met Viz, a wealthy businessman, on a beautiful sunny day in Berlin. They’d been attached at the hip ever since.

“And of course, you’re all invited to the wedding,” Wanda said while Okoye admired the ring. “It’s going to be a small wedding. I just need my family.”

“Excuse-me,” you said, standing up abruptly. “I think something’s burning.”

Bucky watched you disappear into the kitchen. He glanced at the group again, no one was paying attention so he followed you into the kitchen.

He found you leaning back against the counter, your arms crossed over your chest, staring into nothing. He walked over to you and pulled you into a one-armed hug that you accepted with a pleased sigh.

“I don’t think I can do this,” you said, your voice muffled against his shirt.

“Is it a code ‘flamingo’?”

“No,” you chuckled, pulling away. You took a deep breath and leaned back against the counter again. “It’s just...”

You huffed, unable to find the words and grabbed him by the waist, seeking his warmth again. Bucky let out a surprised laugh as you squeezed him tightly. He wrapped his arm around your shoulders and pressed you against his chest.

“I know it’s hard,” he said, kissing the crown of your head. “It’ll be over soon, angel.”

Bucky rocked you side to side in a slow, soothing rhythm until you were practically melting against him. He felt you take a deep breath, your nose buried in his chest. He didn’t want the moment to end, but you’d been gone for several minutes now, and the others would barge in the kitchen soon.

He pressed a long kiss to your forehead and gently pushed you away, his arm falling to your waist. You smoothed out the wrinkles you had made in his shirt without looking him in the eye.

He could tell you were thinking about something but before he could ask what was on your mind, you kissed the slight cleft in his chin and quickly moved away from him.

He smiled to himself, his heart beating a little faster.

You were transferring the dinner rolls from the pan to the basket when Scott poked his head into the kitchen. Bucky was still smiling to himself like a lovesick idiot.

“Everything okay?” Scott asked, taking a step closer to you. You turned to him and nodded. “It’s kinda weird, isn’t it?”

“What?”

“Seeing each other again after all this time.” He leaned his forearm on the counter next to you and smelled the bread. “Baby Wanda’s getting married. Did you know they flew me first class? And the hotel is incredible. I feel like a prince.”

“Viz seems very nice.”

“I can’t believe Wanda backpacked through Europe,” Scott scoffed. “She hates camping.”

“Yeah, I know.”

Bucky watched as Scott leaned closer and whispered in your ear. “Listen, I wanted to thank you for everything you did for me and for Cassie-” Bucky quietly left the two of you alone. It was a private conversation and he didn’t want to impose himself.

He finished setting the table, and soon everyone joined in. Bucky was sitting with his back to the kitchen, W’Kabi sitting next to him. You took a seat across from him, Wanda sitting next to you. Okoye sat next to Wanda, facing Scott, and Viz took a seat at the end of the table.

The food was good, and everyone complimented Bucky on his cooking skills. He said that you had helped him a lot, but you refused to take credit for chopping up a bunch of vegetables. You gushed about his cooking skills and his delicious recipes. It made them salivate just thinking about it.

“And your house is amazing,” Scott said with a dreamy look on his face. “A place like that...” he sighed, “that must have cost you an arm and a leg.” The whole room fell silent, and something that sounded like a foot hitting a shin made the table jump. “Ouch, why did yo- oh.”

Okoye was looking at him with the widest pair of eyes Bucky had ever seen. She looked furious and exasperated at the same time. The others stared at their plates as the uncomfortable silence grew.

Bucky glanced at you, not surprised to find you smirking. You knew he lived for moments like these, and you knew he already had the perfect comeback. As he watched you bit your lip, trying to contain a little giggle, he couldn’t help but love you even more.

“It was the original price but I’m a good negotiator,” Bucky said. “Only cost me an arm.”

W’Kabi was the first to laugh at his joke, then the whole table broke into fits of laughter. Scott looked equally amused and relieved.

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t-”

“No problem,” Bucky cut him off.

“Can’t take you anywhere,” Okoye said with a smile and a shake of her head. She turned to Bucky as everyone calmed down. “So, Bucky, strange name, uh? What do you do for a living?”

“My name is James, Bucky’s just a nickname.” He wiped his mouth and set the napkin down. “I’m a writer.”

“A pretty good one, judging by your apartment.”

“I’m all right.” He shrugged. “Literally.” Scott snickered at the joke.

“He’s too modest,” you said. “His books are best sellers. They’re autobiographical, he’s very sincere and honest and funny. He has a way of making you laugh about things that are pretty awful.”

“Yeah, we saw that,” Wanda said with a grin. “Are you working on anything at the moment?”

Bucky shifted a little in his seat. “Yeah, it’s uh,” he cleared his throat. “It’s a very important one. I don’t really want to talk about it. Don’t wanna jinx it.”

He wasn’t going to tell your family that he was writing a book about how he fell in love with you. That’d be pretty awkward.

“I understand,” Okoye nodded, then looked at you. “You’ve been really quiet tonight.” You shrugged. “I thought you were still living with Natasha. Do you still work at the hotel? Where is it again? Chelsea? That’s one hell of a commute from Brooklyn.”

“I wasn’t exactly living with Natasha,” you said. “I was crashing on her sofa. And no, I quit six months ago. I’m a full time artist now.”

“That’s great,” Scott said, raising his glass toward you in a silent toast. “How’s that working out for you?”

“Not too bad. Bucky’s friend is a professional photographer. He helped me set up my website. The pictures he took are amazing. I sold a few pieces online but I’m struggling to find gallery representation.”

“Hey, as long as it pays the bills.”

“I don’t really have to worry about bills these days.”

“What do you mean?”

The room got quiet again, and Bucky could feel the tension in the air, buzzing like static electricity. All eyes were suddenly on you, waiting for an explanation. Bucky knew you were not going to lie to them. He locked eyes with you, and braced himself for impact.

You set your fork down and folded your hands in your lap.

“Well, Bucky and I have an arrangement.”

“I don’t like where this is going,” Scott cut you off.

“I’m not going to beat around the bush and I’m not going to use pretty words to make it sounds more appealing,” you continued as if you hadn’t heard him. “He’s my sugar daddy.”

“You’re joking. Please, tell me you’re joking.”

“Nope,” you replied smugly, popping the ‘p’.

A chorus of voices rose in protest. Okoye and Scott were shouting while the others kept glancing around wondering what had just happened. Wanda was strangely quiet next to you.

“Oh, shut up!” you shouted. “You left me alone. All of you. We were all grieving our brother but it doesn’t give you the right to fuck off when things get tough. Do you know how fucking terrifying it was when mom started to lose her memories? Or when the police drove her home at three in the morning after one of her spells? No, you don’t know because you weren’t there.”

Bucky had never seen you so upset before, and he didn’t quite know what to do but he felt like you needed to get it off your chest.

“I didn’t have friends or boyfriends. I went to class, then got home, hoping mom hadn’t set the house on fire. I took the first decent job I could find because she needed a new home and professional help. Without Natasha I would have been homeless.” You turned to Bucky. “I’m so sorry, I’ve ruined dinner. You’ve worked so hard.”

“It’s okay,” he replied immediately. “I’m with you.”

“God, you’re so nice,” you sighed, then turned to your siblings. “See? That’s the kind of person he is. I was lonely and lost, and I found him and he’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me. He’s kind and sweet, he’s selfless and generous, and you have no right to criticize our relationship.”

Bucky stared at you, his mouth hanging open a little. Slowly he shook himself out of his trance and reached for your hand on the table. He had no idea you thought so highly of him.

“We needed each other,” you continued. “And I don’t care what you think.”

Dinner was officially ruined but Bucky didn’t care. He smiled at you, soft and reassuring, and let go of your hand when you smiled back. He was proud of you for speaking up, for standing up for yourself.

Bucky noticed Wanda and Viz exchanging looks.

“Okay so, since we’re sharing truth bombs,” Wanda said, shifting a bit in her seat. “I wasn’t really traveling through Europe. I went to Sokovia and after that, everything’s kind of a blur. I did things I’m not proud of. I wanted to forget,” she paused and sighed, “everything. I hit rock bottom, pretty hard, and checked myself into a psychiatric hospital. That’s where I met Viz. He helped me send you those postcards. I screwed up, real bad, but I couldn’t tell you guys the truth. I’m not really proud of myself.”

“I got fired from Baskin-Robbins for yelling at a costumer.”

“Okay!” Okoye exclaimed in her big sister voice. “Enough truth bombs.” She pointed at you. “I’m sorry you had to do this alone, it wasn’t right but we’re here now and we won’t let you down. As for the sugar daddy thing... well you’re a grown woman, you can do whatever you want. Bucky seems like a nice guy.” She turned to Wanda. “We are all dealing with our pain in our own way. I’m not judging you. We’re here for you, Wanda.”

“I know,” Wanda said, sniffing.

“And Scott, stop yelling at people.”

“Yeah, good idea.”

Bucky turned to W’Kabi and Viz who looked proud of their girls, albeit a little uncomfortable with the whole situation. Someone started chuckling, he couldn’t tell who it was, but suddenly the whole table broke into a fit of laughter.

“How about some dessert,” he said. “Then you guys can fill me in on some childhood secrets.”

As he walked away from the table, he heard you warn your siblings to keep their mouths shut. They laughed in response, which made Bucky smile. Surely it’d take more than one outburst at a family dinner to fix your broken bond but it was a good start.

During dessert, he learned that everyone called you ‘Splotchy’ because you painted on the living room walls as a child. He learned that you always wanted to play board games with Okoye. Your favourite one was Mystery Date.

“She had a crush on Tyler, the beach date.”

“No, that’s not true, don’t listen to them.”

When they finally left, you spent a few extra moments hugging everyone. Promises were made, and Bucky couldn’t help but smile as he watched you wave goodbye to your siblings.

It was just the two of you again, and the mountain of dirty dishes and silverware. He told you not to worry about the dishes, but you knew if he went to bed he wouldn't be able to sleep, not when the kitchen was such a mess so you cleaned together.

He loved these moments with you. There was something very peaceful about the night; the dark skies, the soft lights, the quiet apartment, knowing people all around town where getting ready for bed. It used to make him feel tiny and isolated but now, with you, the night didn’t seem so frightening anymore.

A few weeks went by, and things were changing a bit. You spent your Saturday mornings with your sisters, bonding, and facetimed with Scott at least once a week.

Bucky also noticed a subtle change in Sam’s behaviour. He seemed happier and he wondered if his friend had already forgotten Natasha.

It was almost June, and the building’s swimming pool reopened as the weather got warmer. Despite living there for several years, he had never gone near that swimming pool until you dragged him out one scorching afternoon.

The rooftop was surprisingly calm, apart for the group of children playing in the pool. There were people sunbathing around the pool, enjoying a good book, socializing. You dropped your bag on the floor and laid out your towel on the reclining chair.

Bucky had never seen you in a bathing suit before and it caught him completely off guard, but what made him literally growl was seeing the little pendant of your necklace rest against your skin. He didn’t know why but it awoke something in him.

You both slathered on sunscreen before you went for a swim. Bucky recognized a few neighbours, and while they all knew he only had one arm, they had never seen him shirtless before. Bucky didn’t mind their inquisitiveness, as long as you were beside him.

“Do you think the kids peed in the water?” you asked as you rested against the edge of the pool.

“Probably,” Bucky cringed. “When I was a kid, my mom told me that there were chemicals that turned the water a different color when someone pees.”

“Ew,” you laughed.

After a while, he lay out in the sun, enjoying the feel of the sun on his skin. He could still hear you playing water polo with the kids when a shadow passed over him. With a frown, he pushed his sunglasses up onto his forehead.

“It’s nice to see you, James,” his neighbour beamed, taking a seat on your unoccupied chair. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you out here.”

“Hi.” He wasn’t surprised when his voice came out hoarse since he had been on the verge of falling asleep. With the grace of a walrus, he propped himself into a sitting position. “Yes, well, swimming pools are more fun when you’re not alone.”

His neighbour turned to look at you. “Congratulations, by the way. I didn’t know you were seeing someone. Must have been serious if you two moved in together. How long has it been since she moved in? Six months?”

“Seven.”

He knew he should have corrected her, you weren’t his girlfriend, but it felt good. It was just a harmless little lie.

“Does she make you happy?”

“I’m the happiest man on earth,” he replied with a bright smile, then slid his sunglasses back on his face.

His neighbour chuckled quietly. “I can see that!”

When you returned to your seat, his neighbour was gone. You hummed to yourself as you settled into your seat, big droplets of water running down your body. Bucky tilted his head down and peered at you over the top of his sunglasses.

“Where did you get that popsicle?”

“Jealous?” You licked your treat without looking at him. “The kids’ mom gave me one as a thank you for looking after her kids.”

“That looks good.”

“So good.”

“Mind sharing it with me?”

You pursed your lips thoughtfully, then held out your popsicle. As Bucky leaned closer, you pulled it away and jumped to your feet. The look he gave you was one of pure betrayal.

“Oh, angel, you should have never done that.”

He grinned to himself when he saw a shiver run through you. When he stood up, you took a step back. He strutted toward you, his grin predatory. The floor was slippery so you couldn’t go very far.

“Are you ready to share now?”

“No!”

The popsicle melted down your hand, creating a mess. You turned your arm and licked the drops of popsicle juice from the inside of your wrist. It distracted you long enough for Bucky to wrap his arm around your waist, pulling you against him. You squealed and grabbed him around the neck to keep from falling while also trying not to smush the popsicle against his chest.

You waved the treat in front of his face and he tried to bite off the tip of your popsicle. It made you laugh, your body sagging against him. His face was close to yours. He was so close he could smell the artificial orange scent of your popsicle.

Your laughter died down and your breath caught in your throat when you saw the way he was looking at you. Without thinking, he went for it. He felt your fingers flex against his skin, urging him closer.

His lips were barely a breath away from yours when one of the kids repeatedly slapped your thigh, obviously oblivious to what the two grownups were about to do.

“Come back! We haven’t finished the game,” the kid whined. “Come on!”

Reluctantly, you let go of Bucky and took a step back. Your exhale came out shaky, and in your almost-kiss-induced trance you handed him the popsicle without saying anything before you followed the kid.

You turned back to look at him, one hand sprawled across your stomach, the other across your chest. He knew you were feeling it too: the butterflies, the racing heartbeat, that pleasant heat going through your body.

The difference between like and love.

A week later, he came home to an empty apartment. He climbed the stairs to your studio but you weren’t there. Instead, he found a canvas stretched out smooth and tight on the floor, and several bowls of paint arranged in a semi-circle around it.

He knew you were home, you wouldn’t leave without your phone or bag. Out of curiosity, he went up on the roof and let out a relieved breath when he found you.

You were sitting on the edge of the rooftop with your knees up to your chin and your arms wrapped loosely around your shins. You looked so beautiful in the golden hue of the setting sun.

He stood there, watching you as if he was looking at a painting in a museum. Entranced. You hadn’t noticed him yet, and a quick glance around the roof told him you were alone.

Slowly, he made his way to you and took in your appearance: a short sleeve white shirt and a pair of denim overalls. The shirt was surprisingly spotless but the overalls were covered in dried paint splatters of different colours.

“I looked everywhere for you,” he spoke softly, trying not to disturb you.

“Did you?”

You straightened up a little but kept your eyes trained on the horizon. Bucky sat close to your feet and let his hand slip under the hem of your jeans to close around your ankle. A sigh slipped past your lips, and he let his fingertips linger for a moment on your smooth skin.

He knew you had a meeting today, and judging by the resigned look on your face, it didn’t go well.

“What’s on your mind, angel?” he said, caressing the top of your foot.

“I was thinking about the night we met. God, I was so nervous,” you said, laughing softly. “I told you that agreeing to meet you was like choosing between a pack of wolves and jumping off a cliff.”

“I remember,” he chuckled.

“I never told you how glad I am that I jumped off that cliff,” you said. “I’d never jumped head first into something, not knowing what was going to happen. Now I think I’m addicted to it. Before I met you, I was living for others. Everything single decision was thoroughly analysed. There was no mystery, fun, or impulsiveness. I put my entire life on hold, and now I see that I can’t do that anymore.”

“What are you going to do?”

You paused, searching for the right words. “I don’t know if I want to turn my passion into a career. Painting is my safe-place, and right now it’s giving me so much anxiety. I haven’t had the inspiration to paint in weeks.” You looked at him and pressed your lips together tightly. “And, if I don’t want to become a full time artist, then I guess our deal is off.”

Bucky stared at you, mouth agape. He really hadn’t seen it coming.

“Please, don’t be angry,” you pleaded. “I don’t want to stop seeing you. When he didn’t answer, you leaned forward and touched his face.

“I could never be angry with you, angel,” he said, kissing the inside of your palm. “I understand, and I’ll help you however I can.”

“I’m not sure yet. I’m still thinking about it.” You looked away from him and stared at the sky. “Do you know that feeling when you stand in a high place and you think about jumping? You don’t want to jump and you don’t do it, but there’s that urge.”

“I think I do.”

“It’s called ‘call of the void’. People say that it’s an affirmation of our will to live. That knowing we’re going to die one day makes us appreciate life even more.” You looked at him. “I want to jump but I can’t. I’m scared.” You lowered your voice. “I don’t want to ruin what we have.”

“You’re scaring me a little. You can’t talk about jumping when we’re sitting on the edge of the roof.”

You chuckled under your breath. “It’s a metaphor.”

“Let’s go home. We’ll make dinner together, put on some music and pretend we’re in a movie.” He got to his feet and held out his hand to you. “Please.”

You took his hand and let him lead you to the staircase.

Once you were inside the apartment, he removed his shoes and you removed yours. Silence settled between the two of you as you entered the kitchen. Bucky moved behind the counter while you stood close to the dining table.

When he chanced a glance at you, he saw you staring into nothing while you played with the charm on your necklace, rolling it back and forth on its chain. You often did that when you were daydreaming.

Bucky walked over to you and placed his hand on top of yours, halting your movements. You let go of the pendant and held his hand instead. He ran his thumb soothingly over your fingers.

“Tell me what you’re thinking,” he spoke softly.

“If I say it, it’s going to change everything.”

He pressed your joined hands against his chest, over his heart. “No, it’ll make it real.”

He let go of your hand and cupped the side of your face. You leaned closer until you were only inches apart. His thumb traced your cheekbone, then moved to trace the outline of your bottom lip.

He let you come to him, let you take that first step, and when your lips brushed against his, he closed his eyes and sighed. He kissed your parted lips; once, twice, three times, tiny little kisses against your trembling lips.

His kiss grew bolder, turning into something so intimate, so passionate and intense that tears gathered in his eyes. He pressed his mouth more firmly against yours, his large hand still cupping the side of your face. His bad shoulder jutted forward as if his missing arm wanted to touch you.

He let out a groan, frustrated that he only had one hand to finally explore your skin. Sensing his inner turmoil, you held onto his bad shoulder and pulled him against you.

His tongue swept into your mouth, moving in a slow and deliberate rhythm. A growl escaped him and he deepened the kiss, tasting, sliding, retreating and entering again. He poured everything he had into the kiss.

“Bucky,” you moaned after your broke the kiss, breathless.

Hearing his name fall from your lips, your voice hoarse with desire, sparked something inside him. He swiped his thumb over your bottom lip, feeling the softness and collecting the moisture that had gathered there.

“You’re so beautiful,” he said, looking positively entranced. “My pretty angel.”

You pulled him in for another kiss and wrapped your arms around his neck, your slightly cold hands felt amazing against his heated skin. He pressed himself against you, letting you feel the rise and fall of his chest, the desperation in the jerky thrust of his hips.

He needed more but he wasn’t going to force you into anything. He was more than happy to stand here and kiss you for hours. He cupped the back of your neck and rubbed the sensitive skin behind your ear with his thumb.

“I’m yours,” he spoke against your lips, his eyes screwed shut.

You pulled back to look him in the eye, searching his face. He opened his eyes and you saw nothing but honesty in the depth of his eyes.

You untangled yourself from him and took his hand. Slowly, you took a step back, then another, his hand still in yours. His eyebrows lifted slightly when you bit your bottom lip and gave him a coy look.

He nearly growled again, the wolf inside him eager to touch you, feel you, claim you. He stood taller, his chest puffed out and breathing fast.

You led him up the stairs to the second floor and turned on the light in the corridor. You slowly made your way down the corridor with him behind you.

But instead of turning left towards his bedroom, you turned right into your studio, and it changed everything. Your studio was your sanctuary, your safe place, and knowing that you were about to bare your soul and body to him tamed his inner wolf.

You hesitated at the threshold of the room and glanced over your shoulder to look at him. Bucky squeezed your hand to encourage you.

“I bought some body paint on my way home,” you said, letting go of his hand to step into the room. “I wanted to try something different, something more personal. I wanted to use my body to express my emotions, to create something raw and messy. My interpretation of somatic art therapy.”

You moved around the darkened room; bent down to adjust the canvas on the floor and made sure the bowls of paint were still full.

“I sat there and thought of my mom and Pietro,” you continued, barefoot on the canvas. “I only feel sadness and anger, and I don’t want to create something that makes me feel sad. And I realized the only thing that keeps me inspired is hope.”

Turning to face him, you held your hand out, palm up, and his eyes widened at your silent request. Without thinking twice, he joined you on the canvas. It was both soft and scratchy under his feet.

Bucky watched as you unbuckled the right strap of your overalls and slipped the second strap off your shoulder. You tugged your jeans down your legs and tossed them aside, leaving you in your underwear and white shirt.

Swallowing thickly, Bucky let his eyes travel up and down your body. He had seen you in your bathing suit before but this was different. Then he reached behind his neck and pulled his shirt over his head, baring his strong chest, hard abdomen and marred skin.

The room was dark; the pastel sky, visible from your studio thanks to the floor-to-ceiling windows in the living room, didn’t provide much light. The light was still on in the corridor, casting a faint golden glow over the room.

You took a step forward to examine his scars more carefully and Bucky took that opportunity to kiss you again, slowly, intimately. He peppered kisses along your jaw and down your neck, then went down on his knees in front of you and continued his journey down your body, pressing soft kisses to your stomach.

He accidentally knocked over two bowls of paint; the dark colours spilled out onto the canvas, chasing each other. His kisses made you light up with desire, your moans music to his ears as your hands came down on the back of his head.

When it all became too much, you gently pushed him into a lying position and helped him out of his jeans. His belt buckle made a faint clink when you pulled it open, and Bucky swore out loud when you planted a wet open-mouthed kiss right below his navel.

In the back of his mind, he knew he wasn’t going to survive the night. He let his head fall back against the canvas and closed his eyes shut. Your talented mouth sent sharp jolts of pleasure through him, making it difficult to breathe.

He could feel the paint stick to his back, creating the shape of his upper body on the canvas. It was strangely exciting.

He moaned, arching his back, and slammed his fist down on the canvas. His fist landed in one of the bowls of paint. It splashed paint everywhere. He looked down at you and saw tiny flecks of paint splayed like freckles on one side of your face.

It made you both giggle. As he pushed himself up into a sitting position, Bucky left a print of his forearm on the canvas. You climbed into his lap, straddling him, then removed your shirt and bra. You wrapped your legs around him, one hand on his upper arm, the other hugging his neck.

Bucky was sitting on the canvas with his legs outstretched and slightly bent at the knees. He held you against his chest, rocking back and forth, his arm around the small of your back. You sighed together, sharing the same breath.

“You have the prettiest nose.” You let your index finger run down the length of his nose, your finger wet with paint. “So pretty.”

Laughing softly, he brushed his nose against yours and kissed you. He changed the angle of his thrusts, catching you by surprise.

“Does that feel good, angel?” he asked, lightly biting your jaw. You answered with a short cry. “Look at me.” You slowly opened your eyes, your movements faltered a little. “You’re so beautiful like this. You drive me crazy, y’know that?”

“Bucky,” you cried out.

He felt you shiver when he moved his hand from your back to your face. He cupped the side of your face and you immediately pressed yourself closer to him, craving the warmth of his touch.

He stopped your movements and looked you in the eye. “I’d do anything for you. Anything. You’re my one and only.”

He laid you down as gently and safely as he could, and once you were lying flat on your back, he sprawled between your thighs. He supported his weight on his forearm, careful not to crush you. Your hands slid up his sides, and as your thumb traced over his ribcage, a violent shiver went through his body.

He had never seen anything more beautiful than watching you come apart; your eyebrows furrowed, your lips parted in a silent ‘o’, the way your body shook in little spams. Absolutely stunning.

Exhausted, he collapsed on top of you and hid his face in the crook of your neck. You wrapped your arms around him and slowly caressed his back.

After he kissed his way down the side of your neck, he straightened himself up into a kneeling position and looked down at you. Your naked body was on display, covered in paint and glistening under the moonlight. He wished he could take a picture, immortalize this memory.

He helped you up, and after another passionate kiss he led you to his bathroom, the two of you leaving colourful footprints all over the clean floor.

The bathroom's bright fluorescent light was harsh and unforgiving as you looked at each other in the mirror. Yet you were both glowing, streaks and dots of paint covering your bodies. Bucky turned on the water and waited for it to get hot.

He wrapped his arm around you from behind and rested his chin on your shoulder. “We look like we blew up a rainbow,” he said, smiling wide when it made you chuckle.

In the shower, you took turns washing each other, laughing and kissing until the water turned cold. You pushed his hair out of his eyes and smiled sweetly at him.

“We’re going to catch a cold if we stay here.”

“Mhh,” he replied, kissing your temple. “You’re right. There are clean towels on the shelf. Go, I’ll be right behind you, I still need to take care of my scar.”

“Can I help you?”

Asking for help wasn’t something he was comfortable with, especially after years of being babied by his ex-girlfriend, friends and family. After his accident, he couldn’t do anything on his own. He had to rely on others and it made him feel like a burden, like he was incapable of taking care of himself.

He knew it was all in his head but he couldn’t help it.

“It’s not exactly sexy,” he said.

“I don’t care. I want to help. Tell me what to do and I’ll do it.”

Patiently he guided you step by step through the process of cleaning his stump. You inspected his skin thoroughly, looking for irritation or any signs of infection, then washed it with a mild soap.

He had to admit that watching the woman he loved take such good care of his scar made his stomach fill with butterflies. You looked so focused, so attentive, that he could help but smile and try to kiss you.

“Bucky,” you complained, turning your head away, avoiding his kiss. “This is serious business, stop fooling around.”

He almost said it. I love you. But something was holding him back. He didn’t know what would happen next and it scared him. He didn’t want this to be a one-time thing, but he also realized that things were moving too fast.

“Okay, now you’re shivering,” he said, holding you close, trying to share his body heat with you. “Let’s get out of here.”

He wrapped you in a fluffy bathrobe and patted you dry. Then you carefully dried his scar and applied corticosteroid cream to his shoulder, massaging it gently into his skin. He slipped on his robe and you loosely tied the belt at his waist.

“We should talk about what just happened,” you said, playing with the belt. “What does it mean? What are we going to do? Can we-mph”

He cut you off with a kiss, long and hard and filled with passion. You smiled against his lips and finally pulled away.

“Is that how you’re going to shut me up from now on?” you asked with a grin.

“We’ll talk,” he said, pressing his forehead against yours. “But not tonight.”

“When then?”

“Tomorrow, I promise.”

You looked down at your hands on his belt and nodded. He tilted your head up and lowered his mouth to yours.

“Don’t avoid me tomorrow. Please.”

Your words felt like a knife in his heart, and it left him momentarily speechless. He took one of your hands and pressed it against his heart. “No matter what we decide to do, you’re my angel and I’m yours.”

You shared a long, silent hug before you both decided to call it a night. Once he saw the footprints in the corridor, Bucky felt the urge to clean them. He tried to resist but he knew if he didn't clean he wouldn't be able to sleep.

You understood –you always understood. That’s why he felt so comfortable with you.

Once it was clean, he joined you in the kitchen and made you breakfast for dinner, opening the cupboard and pulling out a couple boxes of cereal you didn’t even know he had.

He told you that he was keeping them for a special occasion. He remembered you telling him that it was your favourite meal as a kid, watching TV with your siblings every Sunday night, eating cereals.

“I can’t believe you remembered that,” you said, tears in your eyes.

The two of you sat on your bed, sharing random thoughts and spoonfuls of cereal. You giggled as milk dribbled down his chin and stained his robe. You wiped at the spot on his chin with your thumb and gave him a chaste kiss.

Your lips tasted sweet. Bucky pulled you in for another kiss, discarding the dirty dishes on your bedside table. You helped each other undress, then slid under the covers where you laid your head on Bucky’s chest.

“Bucky,” your voice cut through the quiet. “Do you mind-”

“Don’t worry, my angel, I’ll wait until you fall asleep.”

“Thank you.”

Part 12

#bucky barnes #bucky x reader #bucky barnes x reader #marvel #marvel fanfiction #marvel imagines #bucky barnes imagines #bucky barnes fanfiction #marvel imagine #bucky barnes imagine #redgillan #redgillanwrites

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avengerscompound · 4 years

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The Tower: Family - 24

The Tower: Family An Avengers Fanfic

Series Masterlist PREVIOUS //

Pairing: Avengers x OFC, Bruce Banner x Bucky Barnes x Clint Barton x Wanda Maximoff x Steve Rogers x Natasha Romanoff x Tony Stark x Thor x Sam Wilson x OFC (Elly Cooper)

Word Count: 2123

Warnings: Pregnancy, smut (MF, oral sex, vaginal sex, pregnancy sex)

Synopsis: With new powers, Thor now living on Earth full time, a wedding to plan, and Natasha and Wanda expecting, a lot is changing for Elly and her large and rather unconventional family. When Elise’s parents try to reestablish connections, Elly questions what being a family actually means.

Chapter 24: New Hires

As we drew closer and closer to our due dates, and Wanda got to the point in her pregnancy that they thought they’d arrive at any moment (though all be it early quite early), we still hadn’t hired a nanny. Tony had been so adamant that he’d handle it but when it actually came down to doing the hiring, the thought of strangers looking after the kids seemed to cripple him in indecision.

Eventually, Steve told him that if he didn’t get on it, the task would be taken from him, so with Natasha’s help, Tony employed a similar technique to hire our nannies as they did when Natasha first started dating me. First Tony advertised the positions. He then had FRIDAY do background checks on all the applicants. After that, he interviewed the best ones. Then Natasha, Bucky, and Wanda went out and checked into the ones Tony liked best, to make sure there wasn’t something hidden deep down. Finally, we had the last five candidates come in and meet everyone for a less formal interview with all of us.

“Well, I definitely loved Amber,” Sam said, as we discussed which of the applicants we’d be taking on. “She had that multitasking between talking to us while the kids showed her things down. And she never talked down to them.”

“The dogs really liked her too,” Bucky said. “I dunno if that matters.”

“Hell yeah it does,” Clint said. “Dogs know shit.”

“I think Amber is a definite ‘yes’,” Bruce agreed. “She didn’t show any signs of intimidation or uncertainty about any of this. Like it was just another day for her. That’s an impressive thing.”

“Oh yes,” Wanda agreed. “She was certainly a little overwhelmed but the fact she could cover it and keep up - they need to have that.”

“So a yes to Amber,” Steve said, making a note in a file on her tablet. “No objections?”

Everyone nodded their approval and Tony flicked a screen bringing up the other four resumes. “And for the second?”

“What do you kids think?” Natasha asked. “Who did you like best today?”

“Ummm…” Pietro mused and looked at Riley.

“I wiked dem all,” Riley said. “Dey was nice.”

“They were nice,” Bruce agreed. “We need to choose one to live here.”

“I quite liked either Travis or Jade,” Thor said. “They seemed to have good senses of humor.”

“Of those I liked Travis,” Wanda added. “Jade was a little more awestruck by everyone, particularly you, Thor. I think that’s why she was laughing so hard at your jokes.”

“Anyone have any other opinions?” Steve asked. ��El, you’ve been uncharacteristically quiet.”

“Oh, um…” I said, looking around at everyone. “Yeah, I’d be happy with both of them.”

“You okay, El?” Sam asked.

“Yeah. This is just a lot I guess,” I said. “These people are going to live with us.”

“That’s why it took me so long to do!” Tony said, sounding exasperated.

“You didn’t get any of those little connections to any of them, El?” Clint asked.

I shook my head. “No. That would be neat, wouldn’t it? But going off my mom, I think those are formed with people through a shared bond. Gonna have to pick like regular people do.”

“Alright,” Steve said. “If anyone has any objections to the new nannies being Travis and Amber speak now.”

No one said anything and Steve marked it on his file and got up. “I’ll go make the calls. Shall we ask them to start in two weeks?”

“Two weeks earliest, but give them until the end of the month,” Tony said. “It might take them longer to get their affairs in order. I mean, they’ll be moving in.”

“Right,” Steve said with a nod. “Good thinking.”

“Alright kiddos,” Bucky said, getting up. “I’m gonna take the puppies to the park. You want to come?”

“Yeah!” They said, jumping to their feet and running to Bucky. The dogs ran after them.

Natasha heaved herself up. “That means me too,” she said.

“Anyone else?” Bucky asked.

“Yeah, I’ll come,” Clint said, getting up. Sam stood up as well and stretched. “Yeah, why not. We can go on the swings, hey kiddos?”

“Yeah!” Riley squealed, grabbing Sam’s hand and swinging on it.

“And with that, I think I might head back down to the lab,” Bruce said, following the little group to the elevator, and leaving just Thor, Tony, Wanda, and I in the living room.

“What shall the four of us do?” Thor asked, stretching out on the couch.

“Thor,” Wanda said, shifting uncomfortably. “The babies are pressing on my sciatica nerve. Can you rub my back for me?”

“Of course, my life,” he said getting up and helping Wanda to her feet. “Shall we go to the special chair Anthony acquired?”

“Yes, please,” Wanda said.

I watched them head up the stairs together and Tony moved over beside me, wrapping his arm around my shoulder. “Just you and me,” he said.

“It’s been a while since it was just the two of us,” I said, cuddling into his side. “Thought you’d be my shadow this time.”

“Got the feeling if I did that, you’d punch me,” he joked, running his hand over my stomach. He pressed his hand down and was rewarded with a kick from Edwin. Tony grinned and leaned down and kissed the spot the baby had kicked. “Hey little guy,” he whispered.

I pushed my hand into his hair and began to massage his scalp. He looked up at me. “I’ve been trying to be more balanced. You know? Work, and here and the others and you. I hyperfocus on things and I don’t want to do that and miss out on everything else.”

I smiled and leaned down as much as I could, kissing him on the temple. “I love that you’re thinking about that,” I said. “But I’m glad we’re getting some nice one-on-one time too.”

He sat up and grinned at me. “Yeah. Gotta take special care of my wifey.”

I leaned in and kissed him, smiling into his lips. He pulled back and looked at me. “So what do you want to do? We could watch a movie. I could rub your feet. We could invent time-travel. You could finally introduce me to your mom.”

I sighed. Things were going pretty well with mom. I’d seen Ian and his kids a few more times and Olivia had come to visit. I was still being cautious though. She hadn’t met Riley or Pietro nor had she met Tony or Steve.

“I know it seems kind of arbitrary that I haven’t let you or Steve meet her yet,” I explained. “But I need to be sure she’s definitely here for me. That she understands the life I have and accepts me. If I introduce you to her then she’s right up close to the man she was grooming me to marry. I just… I need to be so sure that she’s not just trying to go through me to get to you. Which I know is what my dad was doing.”

“Okay, okay,” Tony said, waving his hand. “So what then? You want me to sex you up?”

I started laughing. “Not if it’s a chore.”

He wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me close. “It’s never a chore, dear. Not for me.”

He pulled me into a deep kiss, smothering my laughter. I hummed and wrapped my arms around him and pushed my hands up under his jacket. I pulled back and looked at him. “Maybe if you’re gonna sex me up we should go upstairs.”

“Who are you worried about walking in on us? The kids will be gone for hours. The cleaners are done. The worst that could happen is Steve could come in,” Tony said. “And then he’ll just get a nice show.”

“You’re sure?” I asked, running my hands around his waist and up his stomach.

“Who are you talking to?” He teased.

I looked at him and chewed my bottom lip. “Then you better get on your knees. You’re gonna be eating me out.”

“Yes, ma’am,” he smirked, slipping off the couch and kneeling between my legs. I spread them wider and leaned back as he pulled my panties down. His head disappeared under my skirt and nosed at my cunt. He used his fingers to spread my folds and ran his tongue up the length of my crevice. He dipped it inside me and ran it up over my clit.

I moaned loudly and my cunt flooded immediately. I could feel the wetness seeping from me as a warm tingle spread through my core. I let my head fall back on the couch and closed my eyes. He expertly used his mouth on me. He knew my body better than he knew his own. He knew when to tease at me lightly and when to apply more pressure. When to suck and when to lick. He knew every trick to get me right on the edge and hold me there begging him for more.

“Oh god… god, Tony… please!” I begged, rocking my hips against his face and digging my fingers into the couch.

He chuckled against my cunt and sucked my clit into his mouth and flicked his tongue over it. I gasped and jerked up, coming on his face as I moaned loudly. “Fuck…” I groaned.

Tony lapped it up greedily and got up, wiping his face. “Now, how are we going to do this.”

“Sit down, I’m gonna ride you,” I said.

He got up and pulled me to my feet. “Always gotta be on top, even when your preggo.”

“Being pregnant doesn’t make me not the boss, Tony,” I said, unfastening his belt.

He laughed and unfastened his pants, sitting back on the couch and pulling out his dick. I watched on, chewing my bottom lip as he pulled out his cock and started to pump it in his fist.

“Well, come on dear,” he said. “Take a seat.”

I turned so that I was facing away from him and straddled his lap, slowly lowering myself down. He guided his cock inside me, and we both let out a quiet moan as I seated myself on it.

“How are you doing there?” He asked as he skimmed his hands around my hips and over my stomach.

“Mmm… good,” I hummed, leaning back against him.

He spanked my thigh. “Then get riding.”

I chuckled and started to bounce in his lap, moving up and down on his cock so our thighs slapped together every time I dropped back down. Tony’s arm curled around me, supporting my stomach with his forearm as his fingers found their way back to my already sensitive clit.

“Oh god,” I gasped, letting my head fall forward. “Go easy, I’m right on edge.”

“That’s okay,” Tony teased. “You can come as many times as you need to.”

I kept moving up and down, up and down on his cock. Shifting in his lap so I could get the angle just right that the head hit my g-spot with each movement. He began to rut up into me, countering my movements as he quickly fucked up into me.

“Fuck…” I moaned, starting to feel weak as another orgasm built and pressed down in my core. He grabbed my hips and held me in place, snapping his hips up into me. My whole body shuddered and seized up, coming hard around his cock.

He guided me forward, keeping his cock buried deep inside me. I dropped to my knees and braced my hands on the coffee table. He crouched over me and began to bounce above me, penetrating me deeply again and again as he chased his own orgasm.

I moaned and shuddered under him and another orgasm hit. I cried out with it and barely managed to hold myself up as it crashed through me. Tony’s thrusts began to stutter and with a low groan, he thrust into me and came.

“Fuck, Tony,” I moaned as his cock pulsed inside me.

“See, told you we had time,” he teased.

He slipped out of me and fell back, pulling his pants back up. I sat back on my feet, breathing heavily. “So now what?” He asked. “Wanna go watch a movie? We could get the bed out and snuggle.”

I nodded and held out my hands. It was nice getting one on one time. Not just with Tony, but with everyone. It was a nice reminder that even as we were working as a family unit better than ever, we should still take time with each other alone too. “That sounds really nice, Tony.”

// NEXT

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chronicallylatetotheparty · 3 years

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Watching (the Adventures of) Merlin season one on Netflix

Episode One: The Dragon's Call

. . . I feel like going to the capital of the kingdom indiscriminately slaughtering magic users wasn't the best idea.

Why? Well, that guy did just get executed.

And now his mom is mad. You tell that sorry excuse for a king, witch lady.

I don't like Uther, in case it was unclear.

Wait... if you could teleport why not just grab your son and ditch before he loses his head? Literally.

Oh, wow. Arthur is a dick.

Morgana. We have no choice but to stan tbh.

Dragon, you're really rubbing me the wrong way.

That's right Merlin! We need more than Because Destiny Says So!

Where did the spiderwebs come from? That sleeping spell gives me Sleeping Beauty vibes.

Ah, yes. The old drop-the- chandelier-on-the-villain trick. :(

If she went after Uther instead of Arthur I would have no complaints.

Manservant? You call that a reward for saving your son?

Episode Two: Valiant

Snake!Shield

Oh, he's gonna- Yup, dead. That's what happens when you deal with knights who cheat.

Where did that guy even get a magic shield in the first place?

Is there a thriving magic black market or something?

I love Guin.

. . . I feel like Sir Valiant didn't think this through. If bite marks are visible.

Ugh, you're the worst Uther.

It's only the second episode! Did you forget who saved your son already?

Stop being a jerk Arthur.

Lol. Merlin bringing a dog statue to life in order to practice for the Snake!Shield.

Bye Valiant!

Episode Three: The Mark of Nimueh

Whatcha up to with that egg, new witch lady?

You gonna poison the water of all of Camelot? Seems like a jerk move.

Dang that's a lot of dead bodies...

No, I like Guin's dad!

Yes! Cure him Merlin!

No! Stop arresting Guin, Uther!

You tell him, Morgana!

That plague monster that hatched from witch lady's egg is creepy.

Dead monster!

Arthur is kinda oblivious to Merlin's magic ngl.

Yay! Guin's free!

What do you know about witch lady Nimueh, Uther? Hmm? Why she want you dead? Besides the obvious reasons.

Episode Four: The Poisoned Chalice

Wow, Nimueh really doesn't like Merlin saving the day.

Wow, Nimueh really orchestrated an entire diplomatic incident in order to kill Merlin while also ensuring Camelot is destroyed by its neighbor. Impressive.

I really like Merlin and Guin's friendship.

Dang. Merlin really drank poison in order to save Arthur.

Merlin saved Arthur's life, Uther! Let him return the favor!

Oh, wow. Arthur really disobeyed his father in order to save Merlin's life.

I didn't know Merlin could cast spells while deathly delirious. And several miles away from him too.

Uther you b****! The antidote is right there! Let Arthur save his friend!

Putting your own son in a cell is such a jerk move.

At least Arthur and Guin manage to sneak the antidote to Merlin.

Quick aside: Internet spoilers say Uther needs to die for Arthur to complete his himbofication- I mean character development. So, if you could get on with that? Thanks!

Episode Five: Lancelot

Wow, that's a very CGI griffin.

Lancelot is so precious- Uh, I mean effective! Saving Merlin and all.

I know, Guin. I know.

Always thought it was a stupid rule to only let nobles be knights.

You're really going to commit magical forgery for someone you just met, Merlin?

I mean, Lancelot is earnest, hardworking, modest, kind despite his tragic backstory and it's his childhood dream to be a knight...

Yeah, I'd commit magical forgery too.

Lol, knocked you on your ass didn't he Arthur? (The second time at least)

I don't remember griffins being man-eaters!

Uther stop arresting people! Ugh, you're such a classist.

Let Lancelot help fight the griffin, Arthur! You need all the help you can get!

Well okay letting him go was nice of you.

Lancelot-Merlin tag team!

Wow. Lancelot really strode in with Camelot's singular braincell by figuring out Merlin has magic.

(The bar is low, okay.)

No, don't take away the braincell! Stay! The griffin was a team effort!

Okay, Lancelot's lawful good tendencies are a little annoying but, hey, nobody's perfect.

Episode Six: A Remedy to Cure All Ills

Edwin, no. Leave Morgana alone.

Oh, beetles! Curse beetles! That's not creepy at all.

Gaius how do you know Edwin?

What diabolical plot are you hatching Edwin? Oh, you're replacing Gaius in the royal court. That's kinda rude.

Merlin's so happy meeting another magic user that isn't trying to kill him (yet).

Le gasp! Uther's purge killed Edwin's parents? WhO cOuLd HaVe fOreSeEn tHis!?

But seriously. No wonder Edwin wants Uther dead.

I know Edwin blackmailed Gaius with exposing Merlin but he also wants to kill Uther!

That gives him a pass in my book.

Gaius no. Let Uther die.

Edwin stop trying to kill Gaius! You're going to-

Yup, here comes Merlin and-

Edwin's dead :(

Well he was trying to overthrow the kingdom. That's... bad... I guess.

Episode Seven: The Gates of Avalon

That title is misleading. It's more of a natural portal/magic lake type thing.

Arthur saves a father and daughter from bandits (Which they hired but shhh)

And they immediately try to put a love spell on Arthur

For human sacrifice purposes of course

Idk why the Sidhe want a human prince's soul -look at him, you don't know where he's been- but that's the price for readmission

I wonder how the dad killed one of his own kind? Was it an accident or...?

Exiling the daughter too makes me suspicious of Avalon's justice system

Evil laugh is a bit out of place for someone who is trying to restore his daughter's immortality

(They are so whiny about being mortal. Hey, we put up with it all the time!)

The fairy-like Sidhe moving in accelerated time so they just look like tiny orbs of light was an interesting touch. The blue faces and razor sharp teeth is not a good look for them, lol

They make Arthur ask to be married ('cause it takes a while for the love spell to go into full blown mind control or something)

Prompting Uther to threaten to kill both of them

(I feel like they didn't think this through)

Morgana admonishes Uther for being the worst

He replies that first love rarely lasts and that Arthur is inexperienced in such things. Plus that Arthur only met the girl yesterday

... I can't believe Uther is the voice of reason this episode

He doesn't get any points though. Due to the whole "threatening to execution his son's 'crush' " thing

The daughter is having second thoughts about using Arthur as a human sacrifice

Dear old dad puts those to rest and they try drowning Arthur in the lake that is/is the portal to, Avalon

Merlin's really leaning into the whole "Cool motive. Still murder.", thing huh?

Like, he did NOT hesitate to blow up both of them

Episode Eight: The Beginning of the End

Why do magic users keep going to Camelot!? The king is trying to KILL YOU!

Wow, this grown ass man is threatened by a literal child... I hate Uther so much

Morgana is the MVP of this episode. I love her

Protect that druid kid!

I feel like you're being paranoid Uther

You tell him Morgana!

Dragon, no. Stop prophesying death and destruction.

Wow, this grown ass dragon is threatened by a literal child...

Aaaand Morgana got caught sneaking the kid out of the city :(

Uther she is your adopted daughter! Stop putting people in cells!

Arthur is gonna sneak him out now?

While Morgana distracts the king?

Yes, excellent. What could possibly-

Merlin stop listening to that destiny dragon! Hearing his voice in your head is no basis for trust!

Cutting it close... Yay! They made it!

Mordred!? MORDRED!?

THAT little boy is Mordred!?

... Okay, I'm more inclined to believe the destiny dragon now

Still think letting him die would be a dick move

Episode Nine: Excalibur

What're you up to with that tomb Nimueh?

Oh! It's some kind of undead knight. Yes.

Throwing down the gauntlet. Pfft! Always thought that was a stupid idea.

Also: that Black Knight literally crashed your party!

Ugh, knights.

Nimueh if you can just teleport into the heart of Camelot while Uther is alone why don't you just stab him? Grab one of those pointy things he likes so much and stab him in the back. Easy peasy!

Stealing this joke but Don't do evil magic kids. It fries your brain cells.

Wait, the Black Knight is Uther's brother-in-law!?

Arthur's mother died in childbirth!?

Uther asked Nimueh to use her magic so he could have Arthur!?

Equivalent Exchange!?

Uther went on a genocidal rampage because he didn't bother with the instruction manual of ancient and powerful magic!?

Actually, that last one is not surprising at all.

I can't believe they're using the Wife in the Fridge trope. That appliance hasn't even been invented yet!

Ooh, Merlin's going to use his magic to destroy the Black Knight so Arthur doesn't have to fight him

As he's killed two knights already

Aaaaand, yup, he's still there. His cloak didn't even catch fire...

Arthur stop being a bastard. It doesn't suit you

Dragon forged sword! DRAGON FORGED SWORD!

Only Arthur can wield it. Yup, got it. How could this possibly go wrong?

Uther drugged Arthur and took his place in the fight... I have mixed feelings about this.

Wait, the dragon was very specific about only Arthur using that super special sword! Oh, snap.

Well at least the Black Knight is dead. Again.

Oh, dragon is not happy.

I know the dragon said "where no mortal soul could find it" but are you sure you wanna throw it into Avalon, Merlin?

Those people were gonna suck Arthur's soul out of his body

Episode Ten: The Moment of Truth

The way this episode title just lies to your face like that...

Oh, you're Merlin's mother! Thought we had an anime protagonists type thing going on

I... would like to say Uther is being unreasonable when he decides not to cross borders to get rid of some bandits. But I can totally see everyone hating him so that's a no go.

Lady, you were in a whole different kingdom. Why for the love of Merlin did you send him to Camelot!?

We're off to save the village! Morgana and Guin are coming too!

A wild Arthur appears!

Morgana better at swordplay than Arthur confirmed!

Merlin! I didn't know you had friends!

Granted he's a bit rough around the edges but

Okay. If it were literally anyone else besides Arthur. I'd say he was right about lords and knights being useless snobs.

Actually. He's right about lords and knights being useless snobs. Ah, that felt great.

Wow, the homosexual subtext is strong with this one.

The girls can tell Arthur came for Merlin.

But get your foot out of his face! I don't care how royal it is!

Look at Guin over here calling out Arthur for being a dick

And talking him into letting the women fight. She's on a roll

Aw, Merlin's friend died. :(

And he took credit for Merlin's tornado (so Arthur wouldn't find out about Merlin's magic)

Episode Eleven: The Labyrinth of Gedref

Lol, that unicorn could use a haircut.

No, Arthur. I said a haircut not an arrow to the chest!

Bad things? What kind of bad things Gaius?

Uther what's the point of having an expert in magical lore if you're not going to listen to him!

And all the crops are dead. Fantastic.

I know it's a magic thing but stating outright that the blight only targets edible plants is still really unsettling.

And the water's turned to sand. Great.

Who're you and how come Merlin is the only magic user that can't teleport?

What kind of tests mister Keeper of the Unicorns, sir?

Arthur I know you don't want to believe it's your fault... But it's totally your fault.

Uther no. People are starving.

You tell him Arthur.

Oh, the "theif" was a test!

Aaaaand he failed the second one. :(

Merlin's got a lot of faith in Arthur.

It's interesting how the Keeper can only direct the curse caused by the unicorn's death. Or rather the trials surrounding the curse, but can't break it himself.

Unicorns have some powerful magic.

The Labyrinth was barely on screen for five minutes! Surely something with Unicorn in the title would be more appropriate?

Arthur drinking a poisoned cup so Merlin could live?

That's some strong parallels right there.

The Keeper of the Unicorns is such a troll! Sleeping potion, hah!

The day is saved, Arthur lies to Uther's face about killing the Keeper and the unicorn resurrects itself.

Still needs a haircut though.

Episode Twelve: To Kill the King

Whatcha up to Guin's dad?

Oh that guy isn't suspicious at all.

You didn't think it was shady when he asked to meet in the middle of the night!?

Philosopher's Stone!?

Wow, the guards found him quickly.

What- No! Don't arrest Guin's dad!

Uther, he's a blacksmith! Stop being paranoid!

Will you stop executing people!? That inn keeper didn't know that guy was a dangerous sorcerer!

No, nononononono! He surrendered! Why did you do that!? Guin's father was important to Morgana!

That's why she gave him the key!

Dragon has his priorities straight.

Shut up, Merlin. You literally blew up a father and daughter for trying to kill one(1) person. (No really, you could see their hands flying off.)

Morgana deserves a little murder. As a treat.

Yes! Get him! Kill the bastard!

No! Why would you make GUIN say that!? Who are you and what have you done with Guin!?🔪🔪

UGH, he literally committed genocide!

The "that would make me as bad as he is" DOES NOT APPLY!

What- Oh, he still has the fairy's staff.

No. Stop it! Let Uther die!

Oh, God, Uther is such an abusive piece of GARBAGE!

Stop! Don't fall for it Morgana!

*sees dagger being pushed closer to Uther's "heart"* Yes! Yes! YES!

*Morgana saves him* NO!

NO!

NOOOOOO!

*inarticulate ranting in the background*

Episode Thirteen:

Okay, the cgi might be getting a little better 'cause the Questing Beast is freaky

Old religion? What is that? And how come it's conveniently absent from the previous episodes?

Dang, they really here just casually gaslighting Morgana like that 😡

Merlin you know Morgana has visions! You couldn't have been a little more careful? She warned you. Now look at Arthur, he's got the heroic death disease

Granted that thing does seem like a handful

Why do you only act like a father when it's a matter of life and death? Why can't you be a father literally any other time!?

"The old religion is the magic of the Earth itself."

Well that sounds fascinating, dragon. Are you going to elaborate? No? Later then?

Soooooo, is the old religion actually a religion or is it a magic? It's really unclear...

"You will be a better king than your father could ever hope to be." Guin, you're back!

I expected a place called the Isle of the Blessed to be less... creepy

Nimueh! Whatcha up to girl? Plotting the demise of a kingdom? Not today it seems

Oh there some Equivalent Exchange type nonsense going on is there?

Arthur you were supposed to be in a coma not listening to Guin!

Oh. Oh, no.

Merlin saying goodbye as he prepares to trade his life for his mother's is 😢😭

Wow, that dragon really knew Nimueh would give Merlin's mother the curse and didn't say anything. The little b*****!

No wonder Merlin's mad at him. Stop breathing fire at him! It's your own fault!

Gaius, no! Not the dead mentor trope!

"You stood by and watched as our friends died." Damn, Nimueh isn't pulling her punches.

Merlin vs Nimueh! Ready? Fight!

Anime protagonist power up! Dang, Nimueh's dead... I feel like that wasn't supposed to happen.

At least no one else is dying. Since Nimueh's death appeased the Equivalent Exchange laws of the old religion.

#bbc merlin #bbc arthur #bbc uther #bbc morgana #bbc's merlin

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theavatarspirit · 3 years

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willa's death was lazy storytelling.

a pre-2x08 rant.

willa's death was well foreshadowed, well executed, and her sacrifice for raelle will have a lasting impact on the show for the rest of the season, if not longer. however, the wasted potential of everything has me wilding.

now, i know there are a lot of factors that go into writing a television show, especially during a pandemic. i am not blaming the writers one bit for this, and honestly a lot of the groundwork they laid for this plot is compelling. im sure the team are doing the best with what they could in a ten episode season in the middle of covid, but the plot lines in s1 do not match up with willa's character in s2.

raelle's dead mother was a huge driving force for raelle's character the entirety of the first season. it factored into the conflict between raelle and abigail, and was part of the reason behind raelle's disillusions with the army. i think its important to state that willa being alive and the reason the spree wanted raelle being the s1 cliffhanger was because it was such a huge shift of understanding in the audience. here's this big reveal that a lot of what raelle knew and motivated her was a lie, and that what brought scylla and raelle together was more personal than just a mark. everyone could see the emotional reckoning this would bring.

but we haven't got that.

willa isn't going to face any consequences for her actions. just think, willa died before her daughter knew she was alive this entire time. she didnt have to explain to raelle why she left to join the spree instead of loving and caring for her. willa will never have to confront edwin about abandoning him with a daughter he struggled to support. willa never even got to interact with petra or adler, two people she surely loathed and resented. willa just popped off to become a terrorist for a couple years and didn't have to wear a uniform i guess.

(theres also something to be said in making raelle as miserable as possible instead of what could have been gripping interactions between torn apart mother and daughter but alas)

we all joke about willa and the sautéed mushrooms because a) it is hilarious and b) that was the extent of willa's characterization for half the season. i know this is most likely due to time restraints, but the way the show left off with s1 it made it seem like willa would be a huge part of the story going forward. here's someone who abandoned her family for a cause, who sent one of her spies to infiltrate and recruit her daughter away from the army and to the spree. that was the set up for willa. and the willa we got lost all of her followers except one from changing her operation towards the camarilla (fair enough), but also never resented scylla for falling in love with raelle and failing in her mission. and scylla never resented willa for faking her death and letting raelle suffer without her. okay????? these two things do not match up in my mind. the person who fakes their death and becomes a terrorist while conniving to bring her daughter to her is not the person that tells scylla in the back of a van that she was right to not bring raelle to her.

it would be one thing if willa had realized in the years away she was wrong and she loved raelle more than anything, but all willa did was cook mushrooms and give scylla wine. and willa was one of the leaders within the spree. that shows intent for the cause. and, i must stress, she sent someone to kidnap her daughter for her. you dont suddenly become cool with your daughter still being with the army if you went to all of that trouble, and i wouldn't think you would adopt the girl who seduced your daughter so hard she uno reversed herself. im still not over how weird it was that scylla and willa got along so well. where was the tension.

all of this to say, the willa/raelle arc was so promising. there was so much to dig into, betrayals and complex morals and fractured trust and the potential for fun character dynamics and interactions. there could've been some meaty stuff in there that, beyond anything else, would've been interesting because of their complexity and the ability to understand both sides while not agreeing with one in particular. instead, willa died in a way that looks like the writers wrote themselves into a box and needed a way for raelle to get out alive. and now raelle, who has mourned her mother for the entire series, will mourn her mother again. how can we find a way for raelle to mourn her mother a third time. can we get zombies in s3.

#yeah im sorry i had a lot of thoughts #this didnt even get into the ideas i had around willa's characters and the direction i thought they could take it #is this coherent? probably not but i just typed it all out and im tired of it now #also i dont have any background in writing i do not know what im talking about i just like storytelling structures a lot #lydia rambles #motherland fort salem #mfs spoilers #willa collar #raelle collar

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honeybbqtlk · 4 years

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Bumpy Road

Summary:

Takes place well after the siege of Winchester. Eadith and Finan have been together for a while but that love and lust for each other only continues to grow — They haven’t seen each other in about a month and when Finan rides through Winchester (sometimes when away Eadith will stay in Winchester) with Uhtred and their large group of men to pick up Eadith on their way home to Coccham, they share a horse and have a hard time refraining from enjoying each other. It does not go unnoticed.

Warnings: light smut, edging, heavy petting, mild exhibitionism, intermittent dialogue, pictures for reference.

Word count: 1,727

Finan and Eadith hold up the rear with ten-twenty yards between them and the last horse. Eadith’s head rests on Finan's shoulder with her body pressed against his back. She lays her hands tenderly on each thigh, rubbing up and down very slightly. It could almost be perceived as movements made from the rocky road, but they both know otherwise. Finan sits up straight, trying to keep at least some focus on guiding the horse. He rides tall, proud to have her by his side again, but he can feel Eadith pressed against him and wants to give her his full attention. As space grows between them and the other riders, they find everything they had been wanting to tell the other from the past month spilling out and they both feel at home again. No detail is left unmentioned; every successful village defense, every absurd Aelswith request, every funny sihtric/ osferth blunder, all the tawdry castle gossip he shamelessly enjoyed.. She continues, now massaging through his hair and upper neck. Kneading his upper arms as well, but that is just as much a pleasure for her as it is for him and he knows it. It had grown hot, either from the summer sun or their yearning body heat, most likely both. It had given the excuse for Finan to bear nothing on his back other than his sleeveless leather armor; again to both of their pleasure.

Eadith finishes a funny story to which Finan tacks on an impromptu joke causing them to burst into laughter. The rest of their group can hear this from up ahead.

“If they’re laughing at least that means they didn’t stop to fuck” Sihtric notes and everyone laughs in agreement.

“Yet..” Father Pulig makes sure to add.

“Yeah you never know with those two” Edwin says, jokingly glancing behind him. While he hadn’t been around when Finan and Eadith met he had done this trip with this group enough times now to know what to expect.

Finan and Eadith trail just out of sight as the group steers left at a bend in the creek. Eadith’s laugh subsides, Finan’s follows, and her gaze settles on Finan who is facing forward to lead them. Suddenly their horse hits a rock and there is a slight lurch, Finan’s hand immediately reaches back to Eadith, catching her leg to make sure she is okay and steady until they get back on the flat trail.

Now that his hand is there he doesn’t want to let go. He keeps one hand on the reins and the other on her, he begins caressing her lower thigh over her thin summer dress. Her hands slip back under his arms and onto his thighs and make their way up his leg, this time her intensions are very clear as she lifts the flap of his protective leather and reaches down his pants.

Finan is almost embarrassed by how he immediately starts to grow at just Eadith’s touch, the image of her hands on him, but that embarrassment quickly goes away as he relaxes, closing his eyes as she strokes him to full erection. She places soft sensual kisses over his neck. Her right hand full of his cock and her left hand cupping his balls in a slow circular motion like he liked. He can feel her breast pinned against his back and with his eyes shut he can enjoy imagining that without clothes in between them. She can’t help but grind against him, in rhythm with her hands as the pressure builds. He can feel her clit urging against him. His hand moves down then right back up, bringing her skirt with him as he gently grips up her now exposed leg, massaging in sync with her hip motions. He feels her so soft against his rugged touch which sends a wave of pleasure over her body. Her legs hug tighter against his.

They turn the corner where the rest of their party had suddenly stopped and she immediately sits up at the sight of them with Finan quickly realizing and joining her.

The men had stopped to watch Osferth in the back of the herd, who had had to dismounted to attend to his horse. Eadith and Finan come into view and they pull up next to him, quickly shaking off their urges before anyone could tell what had been going on. After brief deliberation Eadith gets down off the horse to help him. Finan has his arms crossed in front of him, bending over a little and squinting off into the trees, just doing his best to hide his erection. But Uhtred catches him.. Sihtric sees Uhtred hold in a small laugh so he follows Uhtred’s attention to Finan to see what’s so funny for himself. Watching Finan fumble attempts to hide this, almost impossible to do with the two who could read him better than anyone, Sihtric joined in a low chuckle. Finan rolls his eyes as if to tell them to fuck off and they all get ready to move forward again. Lucky for Finan, Uhtred and Sihtric are at the front of the group so no one else sees this exchange. He knows they wouldn’t say anything to the others, at least not until later.

“Alroit yerr roidin' in front now” Finan quietly asserts at Eadith. Partly as a joke but he helps Eadith back onto the horse and positions her on the saddle in front of him this time, his accent becoming more pronounced like it does when he’s flustered. Her eyes widen in delighted surprise as she feels his huge cock still erect and now against her lower back. Her clit suddenly throbs with excitement as he adjusts her by her waist, until she quickly snaps back to holds the reins, looking straight ahead, clearing her throat trying to compose herself. He smiles to himself knowing the tables have turned on her now and noticing her becoming flushed.

He has missed having that effect on her.

They again let the rest of their group ride up ahead but there is not the same amount of distance between them yet and they have to refrain for a moment. That moment didn’t last. Finan, feeling cheeky, reaches his left hand around her waist, resting his large palm just under her navel and his finger pulling just above her clit, pulling her even closer to him while nestling his kisses in the small of her neck, his beard caressing her skin.

She has missed that.

With his left hand now set on making its way down to her clit, his right hand, wide-spread, creeps up her body and through her cleavage, his rings and arm metal clanging against her crucifix as he grabs a handful of her bosom. She lets out a surprised lustful gasp as her body has no where else to go but further back into his chest. He smiles and his hand continues to climb slowly over her chest and up her neck, turning her chin towards him.

“Yer going to maeke these noises without kissin’ meh ferst?” He says as he leans over her shoulder. His attempt to playfully tease her doesn’t work and she silences his stupid joke with a smile, biting her lip as she looks down to his. Then, with his hand cradling her face towards his, she kisses him. Eadith holds the reins in one hand and runs her fingers through his hair with the other, bringing his face closer to hers so she can kiss him deeper. Their tongues tie. Finan’s left hand begins to wander again, his right still holding her perfect face, not letting go. Feeling him enjoy her body brings out uncontrollable moans and it only makes him want her more. He runs his grip back and forth over her thigh, pulsing again and again over her clit before moving up and taking turns fondling each breast. She was increasingly aware of her arse cheeks grinding against his hard throbbing cock and he was holding onto her with all his tender strength in efforts to restrain himself.

He feels so good pressed against her and she feels so good pressed against him. His fierce embrace only exasperates her yearning for him and he feels her body fill his arms. She takes her hand off his head, transfers the reins to her right hand. She brings her left hand to join on top of his where he is feeling around her full bosom. She intertwines their fingers and guides his palm from her left breast to her right, going under her dress this time and her nipples harden as he takes the lead again, squeezing her full bosom, his strong hands on her bare chest. Her chest fills his hands as she inhales and exhales desire between kisses. Her legs hug tighter to his..

“They are going to fall off that horse” Osferth emphasizes, stunned and shaking his head in disbelief. He had glanced back for a moment to see if Finan and Eadith were still with them and he had to do a double take. There they were, far behind but still in sight, so entangled in each other it was hard to tell who’s arms were who’s. They all turn back to see what he is talking about.

“At least she’s got one hand on the reins” Purlig sighs in humor after turning back and returning to look ahead.

“That poor horse..” Edwin tisks starring back at them and they all start laughing.

“We press on” Uhtred commands. Not even needing to look back.

The youngers in the group have a hard time breaking their gaze in amazement, no one can deny it is a sight, and they’d all love to be in Finan’s position with a woman of their own. But they press forward, and Finan and Eadith disappear from sight again behind some trees. They continued to move much slower than the rest.

Sihtric leans over to Uhtred; “Three silver coins says they stop to hump before the sun goes down” Sihtric whispers his bet to Uhtred.

“Nooo bet” Uhtred laughs at his friend, for they both know Finan and Eadith are likely to pull over any minute, no way they would hold out til sun down.

They both laugh and continue down the road.

#finith #my first fic be gentle with me #finan x eadith #eadith x finan #finan x eadith fanfic #finan #eadith #the last kingdom #tlk #teamuhtred #otp

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bowerbirdboy · 4 years

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The Raylla Wedding

Alright it’s been a tough couple of days, guys. We’ve still got a few more to go. So we here at the MFS Research Institute were joking around on discord with some concepts for the Raylla wedding and I thought it was important to share (I’m turning it into a coherent list rather than our tangental crackheadery). Much credit to the other big brains behind this, including @smallfrost @likethefoximalwayschanging @useless-les-bien and Gabs (who I unfortunately don’t have the tumblr url for)

- First off, they’re doing this right. Five years is for wusses, our girls are in it for life.

- They propose on the same day. Raelle’s been planning it out for weeks but Scylla beats her to it. Raelle’s plan was to build her something cute and hide a ring in it. Scylla, however, from across the room sends her a sexy weird Necro palm DM that says “will you marry me?”

- Scylla asks Edwin Collar (the absolute love of all of our lives) for Raelle’s hand in marriage (not because a man needs to give away a woman of course, but because Raelle is a proper southern gentlewoman and Scylla wants to do this right for her). After being with Raelle she’s grown to respect and even like some civilians, starting with Edwin who she was obviously grateful for because he created and raised the love of her life. He can tell how much she loves his little girl and it reminds him of him and Willa. He says yes immediately and they have a tearful hug.

- The theme: sexy weird/macabre and the ceremony would be a cultural mix between a civilian wedding and a witch wedding.

- Tally is the Maid of Honor and Abigail is the Best Man (okay so perhaps my love of Ramsweather leaked into this just a little bit). Abigail would try to write a nice speech, but it would sound a little something like “Your love constantly made Raelle late to training and almost made me flunk out of basics. Nice going, Necro.”

- Gerit would arrange a beautiful bird procession to be the “flower birds”. They would all be Bowerbirds, of course, carrying blue flowers.

- While they would have matching wedding bands, in the actual ceremony they would slice open their palms and hold them together so their blood flows as one. Neither of them would want to heal their cut, matching scars are just another expression of love. This may also turn into a linking ceremony and the scars may be used as a form of communication.

- Gerit would then turn to Tally and ask worriedly “we don’t have to do that at our wedding, right??”

- Izadora would officiate and bring her own knife.

- They’re getting married in the middle of a circle of mushrooms grown out of a circle of dead birds. Them singing the mushrooms into existence would be symbolic of their union bringing life to the world.

- Scylla is then stressing about where she is going to find 75 recently dead birds. While she tried to go out in the forest to look, Raelle came with her to “help”. They ended up making out on the dead birds. Gerit is now in charge of bird collection. For the birds’ sakes.

- Edwin walks Raelle down the aisle. He’s so proud of her.

- Instead of throwing a bouquet, Scylla will pop a death cap and whoever tastes the spores first is the next one to get married. Which is super 100% safe and healthy. Just make sure the civilians don’t get too close. Or anywhere near it at all. Actually they should maybe just wait outside while this is happening.

-There would indeed be lobster at their wedding. And champagne.

- They give away sacrificial knives as the wedding favor. Izadora slyly takes three.

- Instead of throwing rice at the happy couple, everyone throws weapons at them and the newlyweds have to escape unscathed to prove that they are meant to be. Tally and Abigail have to sit Raelle down beforehand and remind her that she’s the best healer they know and if she does anything reckless they may not have someone with the power to fix it. Tally would try to throw a knife or two but her heart wouldn’t be in it. Abigail’s aiming to give both of them some nasty bruises for making her sit through a weird wedding with dead birds. Izadora would be trying her absolute hardest and have a full bucket of throwing stars. How did she get a full bucket of throwing stars??

- If you watch the episode closely, we will all have a cameo. Hint: look at the circle of dead birds. Don’t five of them look strangely... human?

There’s so many more possibilities and characters to write in, I had a dozen pop into my head just while writing this all down. But for now, this has been an MFS Research Institute production.

#motherland: fort salem #motherland fort salem #motherland #fort salem #grace speaks #raelle collar #scylla ramshorn #raylla #abigail bellweather #tally craven #gerit buttonwood #izadora #MFS Research Institute

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naptoons · 4 years

Note

Heyyy girl can I request a nick imagine where we are quarantined with the rest of the boys?

Hey dear!! And You got it darling!!

Polaroids- Nick Mara

Summary: being stuck in the house with your bestfriends seemed fine for a while but it started to make you anxious when you have to see nick everyday. Also known as your crush.

Warnings: fluff is all.

A/N: I hope this is good my dear!! But I had so much fun writing this one. I was in my feels today so fluff it is! I love taking requests they’re so fun.

Proofread: yes/no

You only meant to visit the boys and hang out with them, then leave the following week. You were in town for a vacation from college. Spring break made you happy finally a break from everything stressful.

Now here you are stuck with the boys with no way of going home because of this pandemic. Not that you didn’t mind being with them, it’s just that you were soon running out of clothes and your car was stuck at the airport in your hometown. Nick ended up sparing some of his clothes with you, while you ordered some to be shipped. While wearing his clothes Zion and Edwin would constantly tease you about it “Aw look at you being a cute girlfriend” Zion teased

“Shut the fuck up Zion” you spat, having the desire to strangle him

“What he is your boyfriend, so actually ask him out dude!, what are you scared of?”

“Rejection, ending a friendship, awkward moments” you defend yourself

“Oh shut up dude, it could never end y’all relationship, y’all are closer than us and we’re a band, we also live together!” Zion counterattacks, you look at Edwin to see if he agrees, to which he nods as he places his phone down. “Zion is right, most times he isn’t be this time he is right”

“But listen! It can get awkward because if he says he doesn’t feel the same way about me then where am I going to sleep? I sleep in nick’s room and plus I’m stuck here with him”

“Aye! Don’t act like we kidnapped you!” Edwin throws a pillow at you, squinting your eyes you throw it back at him to which he blocks it out his way.

“Listen it’s no or never, people can only wait for so long before they give up” Zion ruffles your hair before heading towards the closet “board game night!!” Edwin yells towards Zion, what if everything he said was true. What if your fear was slowly making nick fall out of love with you. But what if he never liked you at all. Standing up you walked towards his room to grab your Polaroid camera and films but bumped into a shirtless nick head first. Bouncing back you night your lower lip staring at your toes.

“Where you going speedy?” Nick laughs slightly, brushes his thumbs against your cheek, calling you ‘speedy’ was a joke between you guys, because anytime you were passionate or nervous about something you spoke so fast. That no one could comprehend, but nick does.

“Just-just going to the room to grab my camera, we’re having board game night you should join!” You smile your heart pounding against your ribcage, you walk into the room searching for your camera, as you found the films first, you heard the door close along with the closet being opened and closed. Turning around nick was closer to you than you thought. Almost tripping over your shoes on his floor, he grabbed you by your waist crashing you into his chest.

“Are you okay y/n? You’ve been hella jittery lately” nick furrows his eyes in confusion, your ears starting to flood up in color, you couldn’t even look him in the eyes without your face turning red. “Nothing— im okay just thinking a lot you know?” Nick’s eyes shallowing in disbelief he really wants to help you, he cares about you so much and never wants you to deal with heavy emotions alone.

“Hey dont look at me like that” you start off while rubbing his forearm “I’ll be okay I swear, I am okay”

Nick’s eyes shifting whole examining your whole face, Nick wondered how you’re so beautiful inside and out, and no has treated you the way you treat others. “M’kay” Nick answers “you got your Polaroid?”

“No, I have no clue where I put it” you chew on your lower lip looking through the nightstand drawers, Nick chuckles while sitting on the bed, his fingers dig into your waist “were you that wine drunk you forgot where you placed it?” Nick smiles, causing goosebumps to scale your arms “you placed it in the closet ma” you gasp, then punch him slightly, walking towards the closet you open it seeing it sit right on top of his folded clothes.

“You’re beautiful” Nick mummers, you turn back around to see him laying on his back, showing off the ink layered on his body, you try not to smile but he always has a way with words to make you weak in the knees. “You’re handsome” you reply

“Dare I say we make a great couple” Nick teases, you roll your eyes pulling him up to his feet “yeah we would” you beam brighter, Nick meant it and so did you. But both of y’all joke that way, and neither of you knew if one was being serious or was joking.

Coming into the living room the boys were sitting on the floor sitting around the coffee table “finally mom and dad are here!” Edwin jokes

“They were probably making our niece or nephew back there” Zion comments, grabbing the nearest thing you could find you throw it at Zion, which ultimately turns your face red. Sitting on the floor nick sits next to you. “What are we playing?” You ask

“We figure you’d pick, since you’re our guest” Brandon comments

“Aw, how sweet, let’s play clue” you excitedly grab the box,

“Oh shit, y’all are in for a treat” nick boosts your excitement

“Damnit, right y/n loves solving mysteries”

Couple of minutes later you guys were yelling who you think is the murder, your suggestions told you zion was the murder, so when it was your turn you squint your eyes at him. “Hm, Zion come with me, i think you’re the murder” after talking to Zion, he ended up showing everyone his cards pointing him as the murder. Everyone looked in shock while nick’s eyes swam in love. Everyday you never failed to surprise him. Sitting back down next to nick you smile rubbing your nose against his,while his arm is on the back of the couch. All of a sudden you see a flash on the corner of your eyes. Turning around Edwin hands you the film smiling.

“Do we look good?” Nick jokes

“When dont y’all look good” Edwin replies

“Fashion couple” Brandon adds, you turn your head in nick arm attempting to hide your face.

After a couple of hours you guys played more board games, you let Edwin dye your hair purple, painted in the backyard and played in the pool. Today was a great day. And nick was slowly getting more and more agitated with how he couldn’t just tell you how he felt. Watching movies with you and the boys in the backyard, you guys made a tiny little campfire as y’all at s’mores and drank hot cocoa. Your hair still a little damped , he ran his fingers through it. You turn towards him only inches away from his lips. Your breath caught in a turmoil.

“I can’t do this anymore” nick whispers above your lips

“Do what?” You ask, instead nick just cups your face pressing his lips upon yours, placing your hand on his wrist. Everything else began to fade away, and everything Zion said was right. It couldn’t be more awkward. Because he felt the same. Seeing a flash go off in the background nick pulls away, you cover your face in his arms, Nick pulls you in closer caressing your ear lobe with his thumb.

“OTP!!” Edwin yells, you laugh purely out of nervousness, while nick soaks it all in, never being ashamed of how much he loves you. Nick kisses the top of your head “mm, I love you” nick tells you.

Cuddling in bed you guys look at all the Polaroid pictures they took of you two and everything else. Grabbing a marker from the nightstand you write down the dates on them and stick them on the cork board you and nick started since the quarantine. looking back at it for a better view. You feel nick place his chin on your shoulder softly kissing your neck.

Caressing his forearm that’s wrapped around your waist “Hmm, this is going to look great on my wall when I get home” you joke nick pouts just thinking about it, now that you were his girlfriend and you were here for a while, he couldn’t phantom you being away from him. “Aww baby, dont be sad my love, I promise I’ll leave something behind that smells like me”

Nick rolls his eyes in sarcasm while chuckling at your comment, you lay your head on his chest running your fingers over the ink on his skin “by the way, I hope you remember I do graduate in two months, so I’ll be with you for a while”

Nick smiles letting out a huge sigh of relief, one had grabbing your jaw he kisses you all over your face finally reaching your lips “god I fucking love you”

Giggling into the kiss you smile “hm I love you more”

#prettymuch #prettymuch imagines #nick mara #nick mara concepts #nick mara imagines

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stachmousworld · 4 years

Text

Dear Dad, fuck you.

Pairing: Stuckony

Summary: My take on Civil War, but with less property damage and as much betrayal and drama.

TW: abuse both physical and verbal but not sexual (thank you Howard for your A+ parenting skills).

Ok, so you may cry and hate me at the end.

Also: This is the first installment of my universe A. The two others are:

Dear Dad, fuck you Punishments

27 MINUTES AND 32 SECONDS AFTER THE CIVIL WAR

Tony would have never guessed it would have ended like it did. Not in a million years would he have thought that his dead dad would be his demise. He was dead for fuck’s sake. He couldn’t beat Tony, nor verbally abuse him anymore. He wasn’t there physically, and yet he managed, from the grave, to shoot him in the soul. Literally. There were no other words to describe the way he felt.

He couldn’t breathe, his head felt loud and light at the same time, he couldn’t stand straight but sitting down made the earth spin faster, if that made any sense.

Eyes closed his thoughts spiraled out of the control and images. No. Memories of his dad stuck to his retina, giving Tony a full 3D experience, sound included. And eyes opened, reality dawned him: Steve and Bucky didn’t want him anymore.

You are a worthless piece of shit, that’s what you are.

I should have made your mom abort you.

I won’t pay for any ransom.

Why can’t you die?

Funny how when everything goes to shit, his dad is the first one he hears. Always. Tony was long used to his voice in his head, muttering death threats, insults, or influencing his suicidal thoughts.

Tony finally decided to sit on the couch.

“JARVIS, lights out”.

He flinched at the sudden darkness. His left eye twitched. Maybe it wasn’t a good idea, after all. He’d rather suffer under the artificial lights than…his breath quickened and his thoughts spiraled. He could feel hands on his shoulders. A fist to his left eye. A blow on his lower back. A sharp pain to his right wrist…

The lights suddenly went on. Tony gasped, body shivering from the phantom pain, the adrenaline forcing him to stay alive through all his tortures, while shock and uncertainty chained him close to reality.

Focus Tony. You can do it, whispered a soft motherly voice. He wailed at the sound of her voice. She was the only one he heard when everything went to shit. Not his mom or Ana, Edwin’s wife. No. Hers. He called her mammina even though Howard would have had a heart attack hearing him. She was a nurse, who used to take care of him every time he was kidnapped. All 7 times.

She was a middle age black woman, who had worked as their personal nurse in case of emergencies. She had given him more love in the first few months after his first kidnapping than both of his parents in years.

She’d smell like vanilla and cinnamon and talk softly. She’d always have a twinkle in her eyes every time she’d tell him a story. Tony used to be so thrilled to listen to her. Whatever the kind of story, whether it was fairytales or made-up ones from her life, he’d feel as if he was a part of it. She never made him feel worthless. She even learnt Italian for him, calling him her Tesorio, when he’d show her his grades reports and inventions, Cucciolo when Howard or Maria were missing his birthdays, and Luce dei miei Occhi, whenever she saw him.

If he’d been her light, she’d been his sun in the darkest night. He couldn’t recall one moment when he didn’t hear her voice calming him, cheering him, reassuring him. Even she wasn’t here physically, she was still in his head. Always.

Her death had hit him hard. Harder than his parents. Harder than the Jarvis. She had always been his pillar. His guide in life. He could recall a thousand proverbs, phrasing, advice for each different situation in life. She had prepared him for the real world, and yet, he somewhat felt like a failure. After her murder (she was shot while going to church), he had totally lost touch with reality. His parents had been dead for a few years by then and Jarvis and Ana for less than 2 years.

Tony should have been seen it coming. Everyone died because of him.

He went to the funeral and sat in the back of the church, feeling like an intruder. He had jumped to his feet a few minutes in the ceremony and tried to run out, when his mammina’s daughter, Celestia, intercepted him, calling him in front of the entire church, his name resonating in the holy building. He could still hear what she said, loud and clear.

“Tony, my baby brother. Mom wanted you with us, your brothers and sisters. Don’t run, please. Luce dei miei Occhi, come back to us.”

It only took a few words for him to feel the sun. The light he hadn’t expected to see again.

At the end, he found more than a mom, he had a family.

And every year he went to each of their birthday. He had[AB1] two baby siblings, two older brothers and one older sister, nieces, and nephews and even grandparents. They all accepted him for what he was and never used him, nor his money. They welcomed him when he was down, teaching him how to recover with love, a lot of talking and proof of fatherly/motherly love.

To say he’d been surprised, when he had to witness an “argument” between one of his nieces and her dad, would be a euphemism. He had feared the violence, the insults and other dismissal, but had been floored. They both had decided to go to their room for a few moments, the time to cool down and then talked in the living room in calmed voices. Not ones had he experienced an argument in his new family, even the most vocal ones, which didn’t end up calmly.

Never in his life had he seen a more functional family. More props to burn Howard’s grave.

“Sir,” JARVIS urged him.

Tony focused on his surroundings. DUM-E held a poisonous smoothie under his nose. How hadn’t seen him before?

“No, thanks, DUM-E”, he replied softly. “I feel a bit…nauseous”

DUM-E chirped sadly but moved away.

“Sir, are you all right?” JARVIS enquired worried.

“Yes, thank you, J’” Tony replied softly.

Tony stayed down for a moment. His breathing was back to normal and his migraine was gone. Maybe he should go to his bed and take a nap. He didn’t dare ask Jarvis for how long he’d been awake. He’d work on the prototypes later anyway.

He stood up, wobbling on his feet and made his way to the doors.

You should keep Cap’s name out of your mouth, Boy. He was worth ten of you.

He never was slacking; you should take example on him…not that you’d be able to reach his level anyway.

You may be a genius, but you still couldn’t free yourself. What are you, 9? 10? You’re old enough to get away from these clowns. Kidnapping? I call it attention seeking.

At your age, Steve fucking Rogers fought against bullies despite his asthma and scoliosis. What’s your excuse? Go back to work!

Tony tried to tune out the voice, but they kept getting louder.

“Stop!” He screamed panicked.

“Sir? Your heart rate is to high, do you need Dr. Banner?”

“No!” He exclaimed. “No,” he repeated softer. “I’m okay”.

Lies. JARVIS’s silence spoke volume.

“I’ll…Where are the capsicle couple?” he asked uncertain.

“On their floor. They had restricted the access.”

Tony ignored the tug in his heart.

“To whom?”

J’ took his time to reply. It didn’t comfort Tony at all.

“Only me, huh?”

Silence.

“If I had wanted you to be silent, I would have put you in a coffee machine, J’. But thanks for looking after me.”

“It is my duty and my honor to do so.”

Tony went back to the couch, took his clothes off, staying in underwear and laid down. The lights went down to a semi darkness.

“Where are the others?” Tony mumbled, half asleep.

“With the Captain Rogers and Sergeant Barnes, Sir.”

Tony snorted. J’ must be really mad at them to use their titles, he thought, dizzily. As he closed his eyes, he felt the embrace of his mommina and a kiss on his forehead.

DURING THE CIVIL WAR

Today was a good day, so Tony had thought. He wasn’t late in his projects, he signed contracts, surprising Pepper to silence (“No, I’m not going to die, again.” “Are you sure Tony?” Grunts in response.), he had even eaten his breakfast, lunch and snack. It was good day. Until Bucky came back to God knew where, dressed in a blue midnight suit. Steve was also wearing a suit. And by the look on their face, Tony believed he’d missed something and messed up already.

He probably had forgotten an anniversary. But even as he racked his brain he couldn’t think of a single anniversary. Christmas was in a few days and nothing remotely important happened in this month. Nothing worth being celebrated. So what?

“I’m sorry”, Tony said unsure. He didn’t even know why he was apologizing and couldn’t questioned J’. Glancing at the others, he could tell they knew about this “important” day. And what was it with the grim faces?

“Tony,” Steve called gently. “Are you not coming?”

“Where exactly are we supposed to go?” he asked in the same vulnerable voice. God, he hated that. The tension was torture. He half expected Clint to jump in front of him and admit it was a prank. No. Cap would never participate in this kind of activities. And Bucky had always expressed his resentment against suits and tuxedos in general.

“Tony” Bucky sighed. “The cemetery”

“Someone’s dead!” Tony exclaimed fear pumping in his veins. He looked sharply around trying to find clue. The others didn’t let anything show. Even Bruce who was bad a hiding his emotion.

“Stop joking, man,” Clint said calmly. “You can drop the mask. We are your friends too, you know. No one is going to judge you for mourning your parents.”

Tony’s laugh erupted. They…he…what now? He tried to stop himself as Steve’s frown went lower and lower and morphed into a disappointed face. Tony bit his lips and coughed for good measures.

“Tony, can’t you be serious?”, Natasha said coldly. “Have some respect. We know it is hard for you…”

“You know?” He failed containing his hysterical laugh. It kept bubbling and escaping is control.

“Yes, we know.” Bucky intervened. “He was not only your father, but our friends. One of our closest, actually. I…regretted more than anything murdering them. If I could…If I had been stronger…”

“Don’t Buck, it was not your fault,” Bruce reassured him. “There was nothing you could have done to prevent that.”

Tony laugh died somewhere between Buck’s guilt and regret. Tony’s right hand felt too heavy, hanging by his side. He crossed his arms to relieve the tension.

“I won’t go.” He stated firmly.

“Why?” Bucky asked with a small voice. “Is it because of me? Because I could stay in the-”

“No Bucky. If you can’t go, I won’t. But Tony, we’ve known Howard the longest. He was our closest friend, don’t do that. He had helped finding Bucky when he was tortured and helped me adapting to my new body. He provided us unique gears. He was there for us. He…he had respected me despite my small height, my sickness. He saw the soldier in me. He believed in me,” Steve pleaded.

Tony felt the glares from the others and shuffled on his feet. He resisted the need to give in.

Stark men are made of iron, but you are none that. I don’t know who your father is, but it is certainly not me. Always crying, complaining…(laughter)

Look what you made me do! Stopping the production of weapon to built this…(throws the object at Tony’s face). You should thank me on your knees, boy! No one would do that for a burden like you.

“It is not the problem, Bucky, Steve. It has nothing to do with their murder or your friendship. You can go, but I won’t. I wasn’t going to, anyway, so it doesn’t change anything.”

Silence. Tony’s eyes stayed fixed on his biggest “threat”, Steve. He was red, not the sexy, embarrassing kind. No. The ugly kind. Tony widen his stance preparing for the worst. Steve would not hit him. He was 100% sure. But his words had the same effect anyway.

“Can’t you be more respectful, Anthony. Some of us didn’t have the chance to live a lavish lifestyle with caring parents. I don’t even know where my ma’ and pa’ are buried,” Bucky deplored.

Et tu, Brutus? Tony’s head snapped toward Bucky. What the hell? And “Anthony”, really? Bucky’s face revealed discontent. His eyes were narrowed and he stood tall and strong.

“I beg you pardon, James” Tony hissed annoyed.

“Tony,” Steve warned him, inching to stand in front of Bucky. Tony’s eyebrow went so high he felt a strain in his left eyelid.

“What?!”

“After everything they’ve done for you (to you supplied mammina’s voice). And you couldn’t do that? Going to their grave and commemorating their lives should be the bare minimal. After all, if it wasn’t for them, you’d be (loved) nothing,” Bucky spat.

“No…nothing!” Tony spluttered indignantly. “They were never around me. I didn’t even call them mom or dad, they had always been Maria and Howard. They were never there for any of my birthdays, celebrations, school representations, not even the annual parents-teacher meeting. I. Made. Myself. I was born alone, and I’ll die too.” He ended up breathless. He hadn’t wanted to spill these details. Hell, he hadn’t even talk about the worse of it.

“All I heard was “poor rich Anthony Edward Stark, mommy and daddy worked too hard to make the Earth a better world for me”, “poor me, I seek attention…”

The rest of Bucky rant was lost. His father words came back in full circle.

Then Sunset’s words “you were always too much. Too needy. Always seeking attention”.

Tiberius “I don’t know what I’d done with this attention seeking whore. Really Anthony is only good when he opened his legs. I don’t see the genius in him.”

Obediah “God, Tony, lay low for a few months and seek help. Closing the weapon sector, but for what? My attention? You didn’t need that for me to care for you. Don’t be delusional, what would your father say?”

Maria “Anthony, stop, touching my dress, you’re ruining it. (She called someone behind the 3-year-old Tony.) Hey, you! Go take Anthony to his room and locked it. (She went back to her conversation). If I had known he’d be so clingy I’d have given him some sleeping pills in his baby bottle. (Laughter).”

Mammina “Tony, why are you so far from me, come nearer. You know you can always come to me. (Tony mumbles a few words). An attention seeker? Baby no, where did you hear these words? (Tony stayed silent) Cucciolo, I would never lie to you, you know that. You are the cutest little child ever, and I have 3 of them. You’ve met them and they absolutely love you. You are the perfect big brother, Tesorio.”

Tony closed his eyes, took a sharp breath and straightened his back.

“You can all call me by any name in the book: whore, worthless piece of shit...” Bucky flinched, panicked. He opened his mouth, but Tony kept going. “Warmonger, Merchant of Death, attention seeker --” He spat the name. “...but it wouldn’t change the fact that the person you knew as my biological father was a disgusting man, and my biological mother an air-head bint”. Tony approached slowly from the soldiers. He felt enraged. How could Bucky even say that? If he wasn’t so angry, he’d cry at the ice-cold words of his lover, but he was on a rampage. “I should actually thank you. Thanks Bucky dear, you made me a huge favor: to not be in the same world as them”, he finished with a deformed smiled. He knew he looked demented. And for the first time in a long time, he didn’t care.

Bucky’s expression went from guilty to confused. He pressed his left hand flat on Tony’s collarbone to push him away or hug him, Tony couldn’t tell. He brought his own hand on top of Bucky’s, moving the vibranium one to his neck. Immediately, Bucky backed off horrified.

“Was it with this hand you choked her to death? God, this stupid bint couldn’t shut up! How many times she drugged me, and put me to sleep, because I was “too attention seeking.” He screamed at the top of his lungs. Bucky stared at him with an unreadable expression. Tony may have lost his got damn mind, and he didn’t care at all. He strutted to the elevator facing them.

“Do you hear that Howard, you “made me” Tony cackled. “I’d blow your grave, if it wouldn’t give you satisfaction”. As he entered the elevator, belly cramped by his laugh, he yelled through his tears. “Burn to hell Howard and Maria! Burn…”

TEAM CAP

“What the hell was that?” Clint said in shock.

“Stark lost his goddamn mind, that’s what it was,” Natasha replied faintly surprised, which said something.

Bruce was the only one not saying anything. Tony’s act had reminded him of…himself. But, no…Howard could have never abused him. Bruce shook his head clearing his mind. No, Tony just acting as a spoiled child. A very insulting one.

“Should we go check on him?” Bruce asked with mixed feelings. Tony had the chance to have parents providing for them and he literally wish them hell. The Hulk pushed his walls. Bruce took a few deep breaths. Tiny tin man sad, Hulk repeated in his head. Bruce didn’t even try to explain the situation, Hulk wouldn’t understand the situation.

Bruce put his head in his hands. He could feel the headache creeping.

“No.” Stave said categorically. He had his Captain voice. “I don’t know who this man was, but I’m...” His voice broke. “...disgusted by this behavior. It was not our sweet Bambi,” Steve finished lamely.

Silence.

“I guess Natasha; you were right in your report on him,” Bucky commented defeated.

“And I was starting to believe that I had been mistaken,” she reflected disappointed.

“What are you doing to do?” Clint asked tired.

“What do you mean?” Bruce answered, head still down.

“Are you going to bench him? Because I don’t trust someone who could say that and act like a maniac. And what about your relationship? I know it’s not our business, but we are family. A fucked-up one, but still.”

Steve looked at Bucky and sighed. Bucky had this faraway look in his eyes. His left-hand twitching next to him. Whatever he’d say, he’d not be able to get out of the loop Tony had pushed him in. Steve massaged his own temples.

“Is it how you all feel?”.

Everyone raised their hand, even Bucky.

“Ok. He’s benched. I’ll tell him tonight at the dinner. As for our relationship…” He took a deep breath. “If we can’t trust him to have our backs on missions…” He left the rest unsaid.

“We’re coming with you!” Clint declared out of the sudden. The rest followed slowly, still under the effect of Tony’s outburst. “Give us 10 to change and we’ll meet you at the Quinjet or the car?”

“Quinjet. It’s quicker that way. They were buried upstate.” Steve answered quickly, as Bucky fled. Steve followed him worried. He waved at the rest of the group and entered the elevator, next to his lover.

“Do you think he is…ok? He looked like he’d do something crazy. And that laugh…” Bucky’s all body trembled.

Steve hugged him and kissed the crown of his head. Bucky went lax in his embrace. He sniffed a few times as Steve murmured sweet nonsense to his ears. It opened the gate for their tears. Steve didn’t want to end their relationship. Tony had been his home in this century, helping him and proving him wrong from left to right. But…he had to be strong for Bucky and, most importantly, the team. He resisted the need to go to the workshop, pounding on the tainted windows, and confront Tony.

It must be a big misunderstanding. It had to be.

Please Howard and Maria, forgive Tony, he found himself praying silently. He himself had wished for his dad to survive the war and his mom to see him become a man. Please God, let it be a big misunderstanding.

If Tony apologized tonight, Steve would take him back, no judgements. He’d be benched for a couple of days, but Steve would hold to him for as long he’d let him. The pain in his heart matched the distress in Bucky’s eyes.

“You know him, he probably is working to cool down. Anyway JARVIS is here to help him if he needs anything.”

“I would have never thought he’d blown up like that. I read the psychological report of Natasha but dismissed it. Tony had forgiven me and given me a new arm. He even went into a relationship with us. How couldn’t we that side of him?”

Steve shrugged. When he thought about it, Tony had never been particularly keen on talking about his parents. Jarvis and Ana, ok. At first, even Steve had thought they were his godparents, not the butler and his wife. And when Bucky told stories about Howard, Tony tended to shy away and changed the subject. Steve was now frowning. Something dark and ugly woke up in the pit of his mind.

“Well, I don’t know. At first, I thought he never liked talking about them because he missed them, but after what we’ve just witnessed, I’d say he really hates them.”

“Do you think they could have been more than distant parents? He said stuff about his mom drugging him and his dad being a monster. But Howard had never been like that, right Steve?” Bucky asked, guilt pouring in his voice.

Steve heard the rest of his questions loud and clear. Were we so blind that we inflicted emotional pain to our lover? And the most important, what if it was true? Steve couldn’t reconcile the image of Howard, sweet and joyful Howard, and the one from Tony’s memories. If Steve…he swallowed with difficulty. If he were to believe Tony, and a big part of him already did, because Tony had never seen so raw, begging for them to believe him through his rage, Steve would set the entire cemetery on fire.

So, he hugged Bucky tightly and tried to reassure him.

“Sweetheart, no. Don’t do that. You can’t guilt yourself for that. Even blinded by his anger, Tony didn’t blame you for their death. He was angry and lashed out. He would have done the same or worse if it was me.” Steve refused to talk about the thanks for their murder. What the hell, Tony! Steve thought anger flaring in his chest. It wasn’t fair for Bucky, his sweet love he shouldn’t have to relive his worst moments. They survived the Depression, war, ice/Hydra and they were still together. Has everything been a sham? They had given their life for a better future, putting their lives in their friends’ hands, who were supposed to hold the peace torch, when Steve and the other soldiers couldn’t anymore.

But, it also explained why Tony was so jagged, his control issues, lack of trust, insecurities, big mouth…

It wasn’t fair for him too, their Bambi…Steve contained his tears. The mere thought of little Tony being afraid, unsafe (Drugged, he said) and sad, made him sick and furious.

Steve deflated.

No, Howard couldn’t…he hadn’t…

“He thanked me…” Bucky said broken. He pushed Steve, bending and heaving. Steve massaged his neck slowly.

“He didn’t mean it, Babe. He wanted to rile us up. You’ve seen how hysterical he was…”

It took a few minutes for Bucky to come back to himself, and even then, his face had a greenish undertone. A fit despite the serum.

“JARVIS, could you tell us if Tony is not okay, please?”

The AI took a few moments to reply.

“Yes, Sergeant Barnes.”

Bucky nodded silently, while Steve cringed. What a fucking day.

POST CIVIL WAR

Tony woke up at the sound of an alarm. He groaned and covered his head.

“Sir, the others are already here. They have prepared dinner and request your presence.”

“What are the odd I could charm my way out of this trap?” Tony asked sarcastically.

“Slim to none. Emphasis on the none.”

Tony laughed and stood up. His left eye was blurry, but alas, he didn’t have the time to fix it, as well as his hand, which gave him hell. Stark men are made of iron, he said out loud to give him more strength.

The voice of mammina replied full of wit. “Oh, really? I don’t know about the Stark men but my little Tesorio is made of love. No one can take love away from you. It makes you fly, melt, explode, you feel invincible. Once you love, Tonio, you could rule the world, and bend any types of iron. I love you, my Luce. I’m proud of you, no matter what.”

Tony wiped his tears. I hope you are still proud of me. As he entered the elevator, his phone rang. One of his little brothers.

“What do you want Darius?” Tony asked upfront.

“Listen, listen. Go on, talk to him” Darius replied in a hush tone.

“’Onc’ ‘Ony! Onc’ ‘Ony!”

Tony cooed and felt his inside melt. His baby nephew, Anthony, was just a few months old and already a beam of joy in his life. He had more pictures than he dared to admit. Sue him, his nephew was the cutest, with his little dimples and crooked smile. But then again, his other niece and nephew had him wrapped around their chubby fingers.

“Hello big boy, Oncle Tony is so proud of you!” He cooed in his “I’m going to melt inside and have cavities” voice.

“Do you imagine our surprise when his first words were ‘Ony and then Onc’ Ony’. I swear to God, we won’t invite you anymore. That’s the third baby doing that stuff. Are you sure you don’t have any magic, bro?”

Tony laughed through his happy tears.

“I guess I have some magic left from mammina”.

“True, true”, he conceded. “Are you still coming for the commemoration?”

“Of course! I have never missed one and wouldn’t dare. I don’t want mammina to haunt me and whoop my ass.” Tony joked.

“Pfff. She’d never do that. You were always her favorite, didn’t know why. We knew she worked for a white and rich family (Tony rolled his eyes amused), and then we saw your scrawny ass and lost puppy eyes. Couldn’t resist this kid who needed to be our protector, even though, he was pocket size.”

“Hey! Although I liked the beginning of your story, the wording could be better. I never was pocketsize; we call it fun size.” He pouted.

“Who? The members of your “fun size” group”.

Tony grunted. Darius laughed and bid him goodbye in a hurry. Apparently, his nephew had taken his diaper off and was smearing poop on the white walls. Tony’s laugh resonated in the stilled elevator. J’ opened the doors as he placed the phone in his pocket.

The sight in front of him made him frown. He prepared himself to stay calm and have a mature conclusion to their arguments like he’d seen with his siblings. Mammina’s advice about love was about to come handy. They at least deserve the truth and some apologies. Hearing them talk about his parents so fondly had made him angry, jealous, then sad. Why was he not enough? Could he have done better, be a more obedient child… no. He wouldn’t go there. He had to stay clear-headed.

Steve and Bucky had changed clothes. They were now wearing hoodies and joggings. Their comfort clothes. Like him. He had found Steve’s hoodie and Bucky’s jogging, in one of his private stashes. He would deny taken them and some other of their items because it soothed him.

This was going to be long. He took a deep breath as he walked towards the kitchen. The rest of the team were standing up around the table.

Steve went on Tony’s left and Bucky next to Steve. Tony stared at them sadly. The fluffy conversation with Darius seemed like years ago.

“You had fun on the phone,” Clint noticed calmly. Almost too much. It was such a 180 with his jerk personality.

“It’s not every day that you nephew’s first words are “Onc’ Ony”. Well, the two others did the same. So, I was kinda happy.”

“Lying Stark? You don’t have no family left,” Natasha accused him, eyes narrowed.

“So, family is only the people from your blood, got it.” Tony replied without showing any annoyance. He took his phone, scrolled down a few family pictures and showed them one, where his papà was still alive. Before cancer took him.

He introduced each member, referring them as his baby brothers or older ones. His finger trembled as he reached the head of the family. Mammina and Papà. A little Tony could be seen standing proudly next to two smaller kids.

“It was my mammina.” He explained softly. “She was the best woman in the world. She took care of me when I got kidnapped. She was always here to help me, heal me. She built me.” He threw a glance at Bucky, who was frowning.

“Kidnapping?” Bruce asked in disbelief.

“Tony…Why would they kidnap you?” Steve asked, as skeptical as Bruce.

“I’m a genius. I was the one proofing Howard’s blueprint. By the age of 7, I had improved one of his Jericho. But people kidnapped me because of money. They thought Howard would pay them. He never did. (Tony raised a hand to cut the protestations.) J’ will send you all the medical reports and police ones. He will also forward my file from CPS. I know it’s hard to believe it. He was your friend and never showed his other side. When you both went down, he died too. He became…” Tony choked on his words.

“How can we believe you, when you were so maniac, this afternoon? You hurt Bucky and used his guilt to make a point.” Natasha asked, arms crossed.

“If you don’t believe the official papers, you should ask Coulson and Fury. They won’t lie to you.”

“What?” Bruce blurted.

“What do you mean?” Bucky asked concerned.

“I don’t have the envy, nor the will to go through the verbal and physical abuse of my parents. Coulson and Fury were there to retrieve me from Shield office after each kidnapping. They couldn’t do anything because my dad financed the entire organization,” Tony explained bitter. “Call me selfish but this woman and this man (he showed mammina and papà), were my real parents and those are my brothers and sisters, grandparents…They are MY family. They chose me when my real parents didn’t.”

The room grew silent. Tony tap his left eye and groaned in pain.

“Are you okay, Tony?” Bruce inquired, with a certain unease.

He waved at Bruce, brushing his concern. Gosh, it itched. Fuck it, they already knew too much already. With his right index, he pressed firmly his temple and with his thumb pressed the corner of his eye. He felt the prosthetic pop out, disconnecting from the electronical socket linked to his brain. After all these times, he still felt proud of himself. He had succeeded in something his dad could have never.

Everyone can create a missile Howard, but it takes a genius to create something so complex connected to the brain.

“Tony!”

Bruce’s voice bloomed in the room.

“The fuck!” Clint swore.

“Bambi?”

Tony finally paid attention to his surroundings. The lack of pressure on his socket almost made him come. If only he had his cotton swab and alcohol. He gritted his teeth to recede his pleasure. It wasn’t the right time to be distracted.

He turned blindly on his left and bumped against a wall. A human one. Tony raised his head and met Steve’s blurry ones.

“We are so sorry Tony. We didn’t know. It certainly explained why you didn’t want to talk about them.”

Tony frowned. They believed him, like that.

“Don’t you want to read the files, before trusting me?” He asked with a small voice.

Bucky shook his head.

“No, Doll. If you want, you’ll talk to us about it, but we won’t read anything. We trust you. Like you trusted me with my issues.”

Tony was left speechless. He had expected screams, fat tears and a few blows. It was anticlimactic at best. He tried to remember what Darius had told him about reconciliation. Now was his time to “apologize”.

“Ok. Ok. I have some apologies to say.” He held his hand to stop them, from interrupting him. “I should have talked to you frankly. If we had discussed about them, none of that would have happened. I should have understood that the people they were with you and with me were totally different. You’ve known them as your friends. And you wanted to visit your friends and not them as my parents.”

“That’s stupid, Bambi, and you know it. If we’d known what they did to you, we would have been pissed, and maybe broke a tombstone or two.”

“Steve!” Tony screamed flabbergasted. He glanced at Bucky who shrugged smugly.

“I told you he was a little punk.”

Steve didn’t even resent this affirmation. He was smirking (SMIRKING) proudly.

“So…you are okay?”

Clint looked so out of it. Natasha didn’t look like she really believed Tony. As if pulling his own eye wasn’t proof enough.

“What Clint meant, is that we still don’t trust you, Stark. And we had decided to bench you.”.

Tony step back, eye going from each of them to stop on Steve’s pleading ones.

“What?”

“We weren’t sur you were ok. What you said without context scared us.”

Tony’s left hand flew to his neck as a reassuring gesture. He massaged the place under his jaw. Bucky made a strangled noise, making him stop.

“I’m sorry, Bucky. I should have never done that and sorry for thanking you. Even though, I am still relieved they are dead. I wished it wouldn’t have been by your hands.” Tony apologized ashamed; face pinched in a pained grimace. He sighed deeply. “I understand all of your concern and I…would stay out until you deem me worthy.”

Bucky surged forward pushing a frozen Steve. He grabbed Tony’s face, pressing their foreheads together.

“You. Are. Not. Worthless” Bucky said through clenched teeth. “I don’t care what Howard or Maria said to you, but you are definitely not worthless.” Tony couldn’t avert his eyes and felt compelled to spill more truths, Howards truths.

“You should keep Cap’s name out of your mouth, Boy. He was worth ten of you.” He mumbled eyes now closed. He couldn’t handle to see the pity in those baby blue.

Steve gasped audibly. Bucky’s hand gripped tightly his face, pleading him to stop.

“Cap and Sarge were never slacking; you should take example on them…not that you’d be able to reach their level, anyway.”

Bucky’s breath hitched. Tony felt two additional arms around him.

“You may be a genius, but you still couldn’t free yourself. What are you, 9? 10? You’re old enough to get away from these clowns. Kidnapping? I call it attention seeking.”

Bucky stepped away, breathing loudly. You have done it, Tones, they are going to leave you. They’ll see that you are not good enough and leave you, he thought darkly.

“Buck!”

“Bruce”

Tony opened his eyes just in time to witness Bucky breaking his kitchen counter and Bruce’s departure. Clint and Natasha went after Bruce, leaving them all alone. What the hell just happened! Steve walked carefully to Bucky. He looked wildly around him, in defensive posture. Steve’s hands were raised in front of him.

“Bucky, everything is ok. There is no threat.”

“Tony,” he replied miserably before breaking down. He sobbed in Steve’s arms, eyes locked on Tony. He raised an arm to make it come. Anthony E. Stark would have deflected and made a run for it, then hid in his workshop, but Tesorio raised by his fierce mama sucked it up and approached. Steve let go of Bucky and embraced them both, crushing them both into his chest.

Tony hissed in pain. Steve backed away.

“What is wrong? Did we hurt you?”

Tony shook his head. His right wrist was, again, acting up. He should have never slept on it. He massaged his wrist firmly and waited for a little whirling sound.

Immediately, the servos in the socket released the prosthetic. Tony moaned as the pinched nerve in his human upper wrist relaxed. He held his right hand with his flesh one, as he kept massaging the injured one.

“J’, pull up the blueprint for the latest version of Dub 4 and add a note to look for any rust. And also contact Dr. Cho, for my usual appointment.”

“Done, Sir.”

“Thanks.”

Still in his thought, it took him more time to notice the heavy silence.

Oh.

Steve was again in his personal space, Bucky on his right. They both eyed him with awe and sadness.

“I was 7, my third kidnapping. They wanted me to build something or were mad at my dad for not coming nor paying them. Knowing I was a genius they had the brilliant idea to extract my eye. I was unconscious. I guess.” Tony explained while massaging under the eye pocket. “The hand came before I went to MIT. I had already won multiple engineering /robotic prizes. They had wanted me to build a missile, the first one. Guess Obediah was already dealing under the table. When I didn’t want, they severed my hand. I was conscious.” Tony stated numb. He hated thinking of his past defenseless self. He wished he could hug and protect his younger self.

Bucky pushed Steve aside and scooped Tony in his arms. He squealed but didn’t try to escape for once. Steve followed them briskly.

Once in their room, Bucky laid him in the middle of the bed and hugged him. Sweet nonsense pouring out of his mouth. Tony tried to ask Steve for help, but he joined them and did the same. Tony closed his eyes, fighting his weaker side.

Don’t cry. Don’t cry. Don’t cry.

His persona broke piece by piece.

“I want my mammina,” he cried loudly, tears rolling down his cheeks. He missed her warmth, her smile, her scent. She should have been here instead of him. He destroyed so many lives building weapons while she was killed by them. Mammina, forgive me, please, he prayed in his heart.

“We know, Doll”

“We are sorry, Bambi”

“We’ll make it up for you”

“We love you”

Bucky’s strong body in front of him prevented him from curling on himself. He placed his head his heart, as Steve pressed his body in his back.

Soft kisses made him relaxed. She used to do that when he had nightmares, kissing his demons away.

“I ‘ove you, too” He confessed softly.

“Tell us about them, your family.”

When I was 3, I met this nurse. She was…

Notes: Two baby siblings one his Kareem, Ahmaud.

Two older brothers Darius, Joseph

One older sister Janice

Mother masterrliiiisssstt ✨✨✨🐱‍🏍

#part 1 of many #stuckony #tony stark #writing #marvel mcu #mcu #character of color #bucky barnes #steve rogers #bucky x steve x tony #tw child abuse #child abuse #angst with a hopeful ending #black woman #adoptee #family adoptive #black woman character #black characters

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znaeb · 5 years

Note

heyy can you do a preference about them seeing you in their clothes please?i loooove your writing so much btw ❤❤❤

I’ve never done a preference before so I hope that this is good for a first one, it’s super informal but I thought that was better 😅

Edwin:

Okay so we know that my boy Edwin would eat that shit up, okay?? Like he’d probably spin you around and tell you how cute you look, like he wouldn’t shut up about it! He’d think you were the most adorable thing he’d ever seen.

“Lookatchu mamí, so sexy in my clothes”

You’d probably be in like his Fila hoodie and like maybe you borrowed a pair of his boxers to wear too. He’d think you looked so great, like he’d insist you wear his stuff when you came over every time after that.

Zion:

Okay so with Zion you’d probably be wearing like some of his PM merch since you knew it was his favorite. And like he’d love it because he’s seriously so clingy.

“fuck yeah, now everyone knows you mine”

Like he’d be so elated that you picked out his shirt to wear, that you wanted to wear his stuff. And since he’s secretly (not so secretly) soft he wouldn’t be able to stop looking at you, like he’d watch you do everything and you’d call him a creep and he’d just shake his head because he doesn’t care, he’s just feels so special because you wanted to wear his clothes.

Austin:

Holyfuck this boy would melt. He’d think you were so adorable in his big tie-dye long sleeve that he’d follow you around like a lost puppy. Like he’d just hug you from behind while you’re doing something because he thinks it’s so endearing that you just automatically put on his sweatshirt.

“We should go cuddle... wanna go cuddle? ...let’s go cuddle.”

And as we all know this boy is a cuddle fiend and he would not stop until you agreed to put whatever you’re doing on hold and come watch some cartoons with him.

Nick:

My man Nick over here would legit have an instant boner. Like, guys, c’mon... we know how dominant and possessive this kid gets and he’d literally think that you just wearing one of his tees was the hottest thing on the planet, so of course he fucking loves it.

“Shit ma, who you lookin’ so goddamn fine for?”

He’d find any excuse at all to touch you. Like he’d spank you as you walked by him, or pull you to sit in his lap. This man is too horny.

Brandon:

Brandon would try to play it cool. Like he’d pretend he didn’t notice you in his clothes even though it was literally the first thing he saw when you walked into the room.

Like you’d just be in his black sweatpants and like one of his graphic tees with maybe like some fuzzy socks or something and he’d be like so curious why you picked out his clothes instead of your own.

“Babe, why you stealin’ my whole wardrobe?”

He’d joke that you were taking all his stuff but in actuality now that you’d put his stuff on he never wanted to see you in anything else. Knowing my boy he’d probably take pictures too, he’d just snap a few polaroids and probably end up hanging them somewhere on his room because he thinks you look so great.

#fanfic #fanfiction #prettymuch #prettymuch imagines #zion kuwonu #brandon arreaga #austin porter #nick mara #edwin honoret #preferences

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secret-time-is-here · 4 years

Text

The King and his Aid

Chapter 9: “I’m here.“

I hope you enjoy this, towards the end my hands started cracking (I have eczema on my hands) so put on some lotion and they were burning the last hundred or so words. BUT I FINISHED IT :’D

Previous - First (Season 1) - First (Season 2) - Next

His body shivered as the cold licked and bit at his bones. Despite the freezing and depressing aura the house held, he moved forward automatically, walking through calmly when his Father and friend couldn’t even brave it. All of this felt so familiar, but he’s never done this before. Never dared to make it through to the villain’s lair. At least in this life.

Were they even a villain? If what everything his family has told him about Neil is True, then he’s far from.

“An angel.” A voice in the back of his head provided, “So amazing that he wears his imperfections not as barriers or blocks, but as advantages, the traits that make him, him.”

His pace through the house slowed, why would he ever think about Neil like that?

“You may not think of him like that openly,” He started to stutter on what to say, deny the voice in his head, and blush. “However, I nearly always have.” The voice spoke further, seeming more self-aware than the preassumed simple voice of conscience.

Was someone there with him?

He began to turn his head from each side look everywhere he could, even to see if some small being was hiding in the beams of the self-made log cabin. The voice continued: “It only took me months of knowing him to realize that I love him and that in the eyes of society, our kind is wrong.”

He gulped, thinking of the different punishments and convictions you could be given for simply being different. He wasn’t just scared for himself, he was scared for the voice in his head as well.

“That in the eyes of society, it is wrong for me as a man to like another man. That it is wrong for a woman to like another woman. That it’s wrong to like someone of the same gender. That it’s wrong for anyone to be different than the path laid before us.”

Gene stopped just a yard away from Neil’s bedroom door, not in fear of the pools of negativity that oozed out from under the door and into the weak fabric of his shoes, threatening that if he were to not be careful they would stain his pants as well. He stood in confusion.

“Edwin?” Gene spoke aloud, hoping that he wasn’t going crazy.

“Yes, I’ve been here with you the whole time. Just waiting for you to accept how we are.”

“Why did you show up now and not earlier?” His expression still held confusion, but the dark droplets of anger started to spread, overtaking him with anger.“So i wouldn’t have to deal with all of this?” He gestured, getting more frustrated, “The mess that you left behind?! I’m supposed to be a kid! I don’t want to deal with these problems...” The anger left as soon as it came, “Why?”

“If I showed up before you solved your personal problems, I wouldn’t have been able to put all of this to rest.”

“What...” His gaze dropped to the floor, hunched over, defensive. Worry began to spread and the tension left his body, leaving his head hanging, and mouth dry as he asked: “...What are you suggesting?” He had only been able to hear a few stories about Edwin and was still unsure about him.

“We merge our lives, our memories, live as one being.” Gene just stared at the floor, contemplative, “I can tell you care for him just as much as I do.”

“My mental age doesn’t help, though.” Gene sighed opting to sit on the floor, frustratingly puffed cheeks resting on his fists as he continued to stare at the ground, “I’ve only known him for a few weeks- how- why… is he so amazing?? And cute?? And handsome??”

“He’s naturally obviously quirky and goes out of his way to make the people he cares about happy, even when he doesn’t realize it. Even when his soul was physically cracking and he was stuck to bed rest, he tried his best to make me happy.” Gene’s frown curved into a smile, he wanted to be able to remember what Edwin could, to know for himself how caring Neil could be, “If we merged, we could live happily with him.”

“...Is he a good lover?” Edwin laughed as if he heard the funniest joke. “It’s an honest question!”

“Yes, he’s an amazing lover, he’s treated us like royalty over the years. Which is fitting considering that: If the world was different, Neil and I would be married and sitting on thrones right now.” He could practically feel Edwin’s smile, “I still hope, one day the world will change, and we can truly have our wedding.”

A silence fell, and he could feel Edwin’s smile drop as well.

“...I need to get back to him.” Gene raised a brow, once again confused, “We’ve lived nearly our entire lives side by side. Acquaintances to friends to best friends to secret lovers. It’s always been the two of us. Even when Neil was forced to marry Cecil. It was still just the King and his Aid.”

Gene moved his eyes from the floor back to the door, letting his soul hear the desperate call of Neil’s.

“We have family. More family and friends that are strongly trusted to keep our secret.” Gene perked up at this, “Neil’s brother Dean, and his husband Cecil, they share a seret similar to ours.”

“What do you mean?”

“He is stuck in a female body. He doesn’t like being a princess. Like our situation. Stuck in a body that does fit how we mentally are.” Gene nodded in understanding, “They have a son, Martin, they’ve been raising him to treat everyone, no matter their sexuality, gender identity, or romantic preference, with respect. Our friends have learned of both of our secrets, and are secretly pulling strings in the castle as we speak.”

“...you have friends that… that accept us being, you know?” Gene questioned, genuinely surprised by the information.

“The different heads of departments, and Dean’s own personal guards. Even the head of Heads, and now Head of the court as well, Ian is on our side. When we were thrown in a cell, before Neil came to save us, he visited. Bringing food and questions. He left with answers and a different train of thought. It took time, but Cecil confided in all of them too, we write to each other as much as we can.”

“Alright, I’ll do it.”

“Then this will be the last time we can talk. Just know, we will live happily...”

“One last thing, though.” Gene shyly spoke up, “Why was our connection gone? Why didn’t all the memories stay?”

“We aren’t allowed to exist together, but don’t worry, when I do this, we will be one and the same. One life. One person.”

-----

He was a monster.

There was no question.

The shivering winter frost keeping him rooted. Seas of corruption and the pure negativity his soul was made of pouring from him. His bones were nearly melting from the sheer amount of it. His jaw long since hanging. Eyes covered by the goop. Feeling lost in his arms. The only senses left were hearing and smell. The two most useless ones when you’re alone.

The weight of the silence fell onto him like a piano. Any small noise cutting through him with a weapon of fear. It could be an animal or the police coming to jail him for suspicions of being homosexual. Either seemed to be a logical option at this point.

Then, the muffled sound of a voice. He couldn’t tell who it was. The sound echoed and distorted through the door and the pools of runny liquid.

A whimper escaped him. It was hopeless. The police were here, his life would be uprooted. He would either be sent back home and likely thrown into a secluded cell or religious place or kept in America to do the same things. It was a coin toss and he didn’t like either choice.

Then, a pair of muscular arms surrounded him and his nasal cavity was filled with the smell of parchment and flowers. The smell of plants and books. The smell of his lover. The feel of his lover.

The negativity stopped flowing from his body. One of his eyes was uncovered.

A teary-eyed Edwin looked at him happily.

“It’s okay.” He was carefully pulled into Edwin’s lap, and an arm moved to caress his cheekbone, moving his jaw back into place “Emotions are fine. You’re safe. You don’t have to hide anything with me.” His arms were pulled around his lover’s neck, and Edwin moved his skull to nuzzle Neil’s neck, “Shhhh, I’m here.”

He really is.

“I’m so sorry it had to last this long. I had to let Gene handle his problems before we could live happily again.”

“S-shut up, glitch-fest,” Neil hiccuped, squeezing his arms tighter around the other, “P-please, I just need to cuddle you right now. Just know that… that you’re really here.” Neil’s soul glowed as he spoke, and Edwin carefully pulled it out with his own, letting them drift next to one and other, Edwin exchanging his magic to the nearly shattered soul. For some time, he would need to heal, but, they would do it together.

Geno and Error belongs to @loverofpiggies

Ink belongs to @comyet

Ccino belongs to @black-nyanko

Dream and Nightmare belong to the fandom

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xmxisxforxmaybe · 5 years

Text

Decryption_Error: “Undecided”

Summary: Now that the incident in the server room is becoming a distant memory for everyone at CIStech, indecision plagues Y/N as she tries to figure out just what she wants from Elliot. The real question, of course, is what does Elliot want?

Story Summary, “The Server Room, Part I”, “The Server Room, Part II” “The Long Weekend, Part I”, “The Long Weekend, Part II”, “The Aftermath”

Word Count: 5000

Tags: @sherlollydramoine @rami-malek-trash @teamwolf2411 @limabein @txmel @hopplessdreamer @ouatlovr @backoftheroomandnotbelonging @alottanothing @moon-stars-soul @free-rami @ramimedley

If you want added, let me know.

Warning: Tiny mention of something R-rated toward the end

By Thursday, the office felt normal, and I was once again left to marvel at how quickly things could snap back into place. People just . . . moved on. They continued to run their daily programs and despite a hiccup in the system, they hit reboot and it was back to normal runtime.

I was no different.

Yesterday was spent looking through the applicant pool, and I had found a few good candidates. I wanted to compile a final list by the end of the day and set interviews for next week. In another two or three weeks, it would be like Julia, Aaron, and Maurice had never even existed in the world of CIStech.

DELETE 10211291.11181514.1312118935.DSET1 PURGE

<Execution_Complete>

Elliot was just as intrigued by people’s willingness to forget a traumatic event. While Tuesday night’s text conversation lasted a long time, the subject matter stayed pretty light. But on Wednesday, we ended up texting a lot about people’s reactions to what went down.

I hadn’t been sure if Tuesday night’s texts were an anomaly until my phone buzzed at exactly 7:00 pm, the same time I had texted Elliot the night before. I actually laughed out loud a little, figuring Elliot was playing it safe by repeating a previously rewarding behavior pattern.

On Wednesday, I had again left work much earlier than usual so I could head uptown to meet my father. He had asked me weeks ago to attend a benefit with him, and I had almost forgotten about it until he called to remind me in the morning. I used my lunch hour to run home and grab a dress and a pair of shoes. I was really looking forward to seeing Dad because I wanted to decompress—if there was anyone in the world I could vent my feelings to, it was him.

When he caught me smiling at my phone and trying to sneak a text without appearing rude, he told me to have Edwin, his driver, take me home and come back for him later.

“I love you, Dad,” I said as he hugged me tight.

“I want to meet the young man who makes you smile like that, sweetheart.”

I rolled my eyes but smiled at my dad’s good intention.

“If only it were that simple,” I said as the elevator doors opened.

He put his hands in his pockets and gave me a long look as the doors closed. I knew he worried I worked too much and abandoning my entire family over Memorial Day weekend did not alleviate his concern one bit. Nor did it help when I finally explained the work emergency that pulled me away.

But for the second night in a row, I found myself texting until my eyes blurred. When Elliot and I said good night, I set my alarm and immediately fell asleep, something that rarely ever happened. I felt like I could breathe freely again. Elliot didn’t seem to be harboring any ill feelings about being reprimanded, so when he and I ended up running into each other in the lobby on Thursday morning, I smiled brightly when I saw him.

We said our bland good mornings as we got on the elevator, then I asked if he had any plans for after work. When he said no, I pulled out my phone and texted him to ask if he wanted to come over.

He glanced at the other people in the elevator who were staring sleepily at the buttons of the passing floors and gave me a tiny smile before nodding yes.

I smiled back and as the elevator doors opened on our floor, he stood back to let me exit before he hurried out and grabbed the door to the office. I thanked him and we went our separate ways for the workday.

Around quitting time, there was a light tap on my door frame, and I looked up to see Elliot, his eyes alert, scanning over the room and not quite willing to focus on me yet.

“Hey—come in,” I said, unable to stop the smile that spread across my face at the sight of him.

He shuffled in, his hands thrust in his pockets.

“I need to run an errand. Will you be here . . . or should I . . .” Elliot trailed off as his eyes desperately searched mine, his own mind clearly wondering if he had imagined our conversation in the elevator.

“I’m planning on working until around 7. Do you just want to meet at that deli on Platt around 7:15? We can get a bite to eat there, then head back to my place?”

“Sure,” Elliot said in his trademark monotone, immediately turning on his heel and exiting my office.

I just shook my head and chuckled, thinking, Sure, Dad. Meet my painfully awkward boyfriend, Elliot.

Boyfriend.

My mouth went dry as indecision began to beat its ugly staccato within my mind.

What did I really want?

Even more difficult to answer, what did Elliot really want?

A kiss in a heated moment was a lot less demanding of someone than asking them to be with you. And it was Elliot—did he even date? Despite all of our after-work conversations, we never really talked about romantic interests. It just wasn’t something that came up.

I continued to plug away at my analytics, hoping to drown out my thoughts about Elliot. I was about to see him outside of work again, and I would just have to test the waters, which was a scary prospect. If I pushed and Elliot wasn’t ready, I could knock over the foundation we had been so carefully building.

* * * * *

Elliot was waiting for me at the deli, so we grabbed a quiet, quick bite. By the time we reached my apartment and Elliot was standing in my entryway, shucking off his backpack, it was about 8:15 pm.

After he slid off his backpack, he bent to rummage around, and he pulled out my Columbia t-shirt.

I shook my head no.

“Keep it. I like knowing you have something of mine and that maybe, just maybe, you’re wearing it,” I said with a flirty grin.

“Okay,” Elliot said with a shrug as he stuffed the shirt back into his bag.

“Besides. You look good in white,” I said, knowing I couldn’t be deterred by one ignored comment. Elliot was wicked smart and could read people, but that ability seemed to diminish as he got closer to someone. I wondered if maybe that was why he kept his distance from most people—it made him feel too vulnerable.

Elliot looked at me, clearly determining whether or not I was joking.

“And you say I can’t take a compliment,” I huffed.

“You can’t,” Elliot said, seizing the shift in the conversation that would allow him to have the upper hand. “Your legs look good in that skirt,” he said as his eyes looked at me from top to bottom.

I narrowed my own eyes and replied, “Now see. I don’t know if you mean that or if you said it just to get me to say I don’t think it’s genuine, thus proving your point.”

Elliot chuckled. “Point proven. You can’t take a compliment.”

“Such an ass,” I said, smiling. “I should take back my meticulously planned evening.”

“Planned? So, this wasn’t just a random invitation?”

“God no. I have to mentally prepare for all my interactions with you,” I blurted out before realizing how terrible that sounded.

Sometimes it really was a blessing Elliot thought so much before he spoke so I could retract my foot-in-mouth statement, but unfortunately, his face was an open book. I could see the beginnings of hurt twist his features, so I rushed an explanation.

“I don’t mean it in a bad way. Just in an ‘I think about you a lot’ way. I don’t want to say the wrong thing and have you look at me kinda like you’re looking at me now. Okay?”

Elliot’s brows contracted before he visibly turned his face back into an unreadable mask. It was remarkable to watch—like he just flipped a switch and turned off his emotion.

He nodded, but I could tell he already assigned a negative meaning to my words. I hadn’t meant it that way, but it was exhausting interacting with him at times. I still felt like I was taking one step forward, creeping along nicely, and then boom. I scared him and he bolted and we were ten steps behind where we started.

At least my indecision about pursuing a relationship with him was pretty damn warranted.

“I’m going to change,” I said. “It’s hot as fuck outside, so you may want to put on my t-shirt if you’re not wearing one under your dress shirt.”

“We’re going outside?”

“Yup!” I said, shooting him a grin.

Elliot looked at me with suspicion, but I shook my head and took off down the hall toward my bedroom. I dressed in a pair of shorts and a tank top, and I slid into some flip-flops. I pulled my hair up, knowing it wouldn’t survive any more time than it already had outdoors.

I walked back out to the living room, but Elliot was nowhere to be seen. I had just enough time to wonder if I really had scared him off before he emerged from the bathroom wearing tight black jeans and my white Columbia t-shirt.

“After last Friday, I decided to keep a change of clothes in my backpack.”

“Smart,” I said, eyeing the way his jeans clung to his thighs before sliding my eyes up to his face to appreciate how the tan tone of his skin was emphasized next to the white cotton of my t-shirt.

“Can I have another clue? I don’t really like surprises.”

“Mmmmm, no,” I said, enjoying my facetiousness. “Although, I did give you a clue earlier this week.”

Elliot’s eyes moved around my apartment as he thought back, and then, his face lit up.

“S’mores,” he said with a tiny timbre of excitement in his tone as his eyes connected with mine.

“Clever kitten,” I said as I started pulling out the supplies we had bought over the weekend.

“They won’t be as good as they’d be over a real bonfire, but a charcoal grill will serve the purpose.”

We headed up to the rooftop, which was delightfully empty given there was no special occasion and the work week was still droning on. I used my key to get out the charcoal grill’s supplies from the storage on the roof.

Despite telling Elliot to sit on the couch and relax, he hovered, watching everything I did.

“And now we wait,” I said as I prodded the coals with my tongs, encouraging them to catch. “The more they burn down, the better the taste.”

I plopped on the white couch and looked toward the setting sun. Elliot joined me and we slowly built up to a steady conversation. Away from people and when he was comfortable, Elliot talked a lot. It was almost comical to think of the juxtaposition housed within his lithe little body—it was like two people lived inside of him, one of them plagued by insecurities, and the other, just a normal guy, or rather, a guy who could just about pass for normal if it weren’t for his intellect.

Elliot wasn’t just knowledgeable about computers. He kept up with the news. He had keen insights about society. And he even liked to read the classics, or really just about any book he got his hands on.

But work was the easiest and safest topic for both of us since that was the baseline for our friendship. I finally asked Elliot how he was doing as the dust began to settle, eager to hear his thoughts in person instead of from behind the safety of a screen.

“It’s weird,” Elliot began before he broke eye contact to gather his thoughts. “People are nicer to me, or at least they seem to be going out of their way to talk to me.”

“Colin is treating you alright?” I asked, curious if he was going to be an asshole about the whole thing.

“It was him, wasn’t it? He insisted on the letter,” Elliot finished with a statement, not a question.

I was quiet for a moment, warring with myself about whether I should say anything or not. It was an HR issue, and those could be tricky, but who would Elliot tell? What damage could come from talking to the one guy who was never going to tell anyone anything?

“I know you would never say anything, but I have to say this to make myself feel better—you can’t repeat anything I say about the . . . incident.”

Elliot raised his eyebrows at me and nodded.

“Yes, it was Colin. He’s kind of a “bro,” I explained, my hands rising to make quote marks in the air. “And since you’re totally not that kind of guy, he has no even ground with you—you’re smarter than him and he can’t deal with that.”

“What makes you describe him as a “bro?” Elliot said, imitating my earlier air-quotes.

“Mmm . . . he loves every sport, plays basketball with some of the guys in the company on Saturdays. He has that arrogance about him, that unwarranted arrogance that a guy who enjoys showing off just how much of a guy he is has. He used to run every day before work and he’d come upstairs all sweaty—and I mean sweaty as in looking like he’d just gone swimming sweaty—and he’d just go “freshen up” in his office. It grossed me out so much I flat-out offered to comp him if he took time to shower at the gym and was late for work. After that, he didn’t come to work sweaty anymore. Don’t get me wrong—woo! Fitness! But gross,” I said, wrinkling my nose just remembering what he looked like and smelled like.

“Every sport?”

“As far as I know—I do think he has season tickets to the Knicks, though. When he first started working for us, he asked me to a game,” I said, volunteering the information to see what Elliot would do with it.

Nothing, of course.

“I did notice he has a Mets pennant in his office,” Elliot said, more to himself than to me.

I shrugged my shoulders.

“Like I said, he’s a dude. Or he at least wants everyone to know he’s a dude.”

“Does he have a girlfriend?”

“No. And I think that’s why he’s been extra Colin-y lately. He has a son with his ex.”

“What’s his name?” Elliot asked, quickly.

“You’re asking a lot from me because I don’t typically store information that has no relevance to myself. It’s something like Chris or Chuck or Chad?”

Elliot nodded.

“Would you want him to go—I mean, if you had a choice? Would you want Colin to leave CIStech?”

I chewed at my bottom lip a little, really considering Elliot’s question.

“I don’t know. That’s a hard question to answer. What I can tell you is that I wish I could clone JaLeah. She’s just a superfreak of an awesome person. I’ve never really met anyone as smart and dynamic as she is—she just makes everyone feel so welcome.”

“I think she’s funny,” Elliot said.

“Really?” I said smiling and arching my brow. “That’s interesting.”

“Why is that interesting?”

“I just wouldn’t have thought you would think about something like that.”

“That’s kind of insulting,” Elliot said, his voice flat and unreadable. “I do enjoy humor now and then.”

I shook my head and chuckled.

“See? I keep learning new things about you?”

“You told me I intrigued you, and that you have to figure out people who intrigue you.”

I reached out and poked at Elliot’s thigh, gently prodding.

“Is there a recording device you’re using to play back every conversation we’ve ever had?”

“I listen,” Elliot said, smiling. “Especially when people intrigue me.”

I looked at Elliot and there was a smile in his eyes even though there wasn’t one on his lips. I felt like I could drown in his grey, stormy eyes when they sparkled, housing the mischief he never really let anyone see.

Our eyes locked, intensely focused on one another for a long enough time that it made me look away, almost embarrassed. I felt sure he could see my interest, naked and wanting before him, but he just didn’t make a move—either to look away or to move closer. Just . . . nothing.

“Alright—let’s get our smores prepped,” I said, getting up to reach for the bag of groceries on the table.

As the sun set and the lights on the rooftop flickered on, Elliot and I made our smores. We laughed, well I laughed, especially when he caught his marshmallow on fire and waved the toaster fork causing the marshmallow to propel into one of the rooftop trees. He looked like a dark-haired version of Denis the Menace, and I had tears in my eyes at the expression of horror on Elliot’s face as his marshmallow went sailing.

I positioned his fork over the coals for the next round and he attentively turned the marshmallow, refusing to even take his eyes off of it until it was perfectly browned on all sides.

“Your hands are healing quickly,” I commented.

“Thanks to you,” Elliot said sheepishly, shooting me a quick smile before returning his gaze to his marshmallow.

After we ate our fill of s’mores, we got comfy on the couch as we waited for the charcoal to burn down until it was safe to leave for the night.

We didn’t talk as much, but relaxed, enjoying each other’s presence, and I sat in the middle instead of on the end so I could test the waters, occasionally brushing a light touch to Elliot’s jeans or his bare arm, and he even reciprocated some of those furtive touches as he poked fun at me, teasing me for my inability to keep the plots of all three of the Back to the Future movies straight.

Eventually I sighed, knowing it was getting late and I didn’t want Elliot getting back to his neighborhood too late. We gathered up the left-over groceries and I shouldered my tote bag.

We said goodbye in my doorway, and Elliot moved in to hug me tight. We lingered for a moment, but he moved away and quickly pressed the elevator button. I watched him get on and we waved goodnight, a small smile ghosting across his lips as the doors closed.

I shut the door to my apartment and leaned back, thunking my head against it.

Purgatory. I was stuck in indecision-purgatory. Elliot was never, ever going to make the first move. If I wanted our relationship to shift, I’d have to do it, but it felt wrong. I was the one in the position of power. It would make more sense if Elliot made the first move so I wouldn’t feel like I was taking advantage of him.

Why did this have to be so fucking complicated?

* * * * *

The next two weeks proceeded much in the same fashion. Elliot and I texted nightly, and once or twice a week, I’d invite him over. We’d come dangerously close to kissing, but then he’d just leave.

I dropped as many hints as I could, especially about workplace romances. I talked about how Miles (my boss) and Jayne (my secretary) had gotten together, hoping Elliot would pick up on the comparison.

If he did, he never said a word.

So, my fear of losing him as a friend left me to continue writhing in indecision. I loved how close Elliot and I were getting, and if I scared him by moving too quickly, I’d lose the first good friend I’d made in a long time.

And what was really funny was that I was certain if I talked to Elliot about this, he’d get it. I just couldn’t bring myself to do it.

Little did I know, fate was about to lend a hand; it was just too bad that fate was such a fucking bitch.

* * * * *

“You can’t be serious!” I laughed, finishing the last of my drink.

JaLeah nodded with emphasis, and we all burst into a fresh round of laughter.

Friday happy hours were always a fun way to wind down from the work week. We had a nice mix of people who went regularly and it was well known I always bought the first two rounds. People like Miles, singularly focused climbers, always underestimated the power of building relationships. That was one of the reasons why what happened with Elliot had stuck with me—I thought I had a better team than that.

People did seem to be closer now, more inclusive. There were several new faces at tonight’s gathering, and as I listened to the chatter around me, my thoughts drifted to one particularly attractive face that was not here. People’s voices became background noise as I thought about Elliot and I felt myself wishing he were here. I knew he’d hate every second of it, but he really was, albeit inadvertently, the reason for tonight’s greater sense of comradery.

Sometimes, I truly did believe the universe revolved around me, but only so it could fuck me over for one hell of a laugh. Just as I was a million thoughts deep into Elliot, he walked in through the door, close on the heels of Sarah, his hands shoved in his pockets. When he got inside, his big eyes found mine almost immediately and as I coughed, choking a little on my drink, JaLeah looked to see what distracted me.

Her grin was wolfish.

“Don’t say it,” I warned, my voice low so as not to draw the attention of the others at our high-top table.

“I cannot believe he came,” JaLeah said, drawing attention because even when she believed she was whispering, she never was.

“Holy shit—Elliot’s here,” someone said from a few seats down.

“Don’t make a big deal,” I said in their direction as I watched Sarah and Elliot make their way across the bar to our tables.

Elliot ran a hand through his hair as his eyes glanced around as if he were checking for exits. More than a few eyes gave him a once over as he approached and I felt a pull of jealousy. Logically, I knew people were looking at him more out of curiosity than anything else, but logic wasn’t my forte when it came to Elliot Alderson.

“Hey, everyone!” Sarah said, her smile bright and a bit nervous. “Look who I dragged out.”

Elliot gave the table a small smile as people said hello and a few who were a few drinks in gave a little whoop, which seemed to startle the small smile off of Elliot’s face.

JaLeah almost knocked me off my stool as she pushed me to stand.

“Elliot’s new, so he doesn’t know to cash in on Y/N’s generosity yet. Sarah—you can take my seat. What are you drinking?

“Gin and tonic, please!”

“You got it,” JaLeah said as she pushed Elliot and I toward the bar.

“Hey,” I said, once we were standing at the bar, our bodies pressed together thanks to the crowd.

“Hey,” Elliot said, his voice barely audible as he rested his hands on the edge of the bar, his fingers pressing into the hard surface.

“What can I get you to drink? I always buy the first two rounds for anyone at CIStech who shows up.”

“What are you drinking?”

“Vodka, cran. You want that?”

“Sure,” Elliot said, his eyes still refusing to settle on any one thing.

I reached over and rested my hand on his forearm.

“Are you sure you’re okay with being here?”

“Guess you can’t hold my hand all night this time,” Elliot said as his eyes flicked to mine.

I laughed.

“No, I suppose not. But, if you sit next to me, I’ll see what I can do,” I said as I winked at him.

Elliot smiled softly.

I put our drinks on my tab, along with Sarah’s. JaLeah had already dropped off Sarah’s drink and came back to say she was pirating the corner booth because our table was full and a few more people just showed up.

We followed JaLeah and I let Elliot scoot in before me. We crammed in and I shot Elliot a smirk as our bodies were forced to press nearer to each other. Elliot’s hand was fiddling with his drink until I reached down to pinch lightly at his outer thigh. His hand shot under the table and I gave it a squeeze before shooting him another look. He genuinely smiled as he realized we could hold hands without alerting anyone to our activities, except maybe JaLeah, but I wasn’t worried about her since she knew how I felt about Elliot without me ever having said a word.

As it turned out, the folks who joined us in our booth were good company. JaLeah kept the conversation light and fun, like always, and I could even feel the vibrations of Elliot’s chuckles on occasion.

“You know, JaLeah,” I began. “Elliot thinks you’re quite funny.”

JaLeah raised an eyebrow and said, “It’s about time people truly appreciated my wit, so thank you, baby.”

Elliot grinned at her, either because he’d had a few drinks or because he genuinely liked JaLeah, and said, “You could be a character in an Oscar Wilde play.”

The table laughed and one of the tech’s jumped on the reference to talk about the new play based on Wilde’s life that had just opened.

I leaned over, my lips dangerously close to Elliot’s ear, and said, “See? This isn’t so bad.”

Elliot’s pinky wrapped around my own and squeezed, and I gave him a sweet smile before turning back to the others.

It was one of those nights when people just seemed to be having a great time. We ordered appetizers. The waitress kept our drinks filled. The conversation never lulled, and bursts of laughter kept peppering the air. Before any of us knew it, it was 9:00 and a few people at our table started checking their phones with more frequency.

“Shit—I forgot my wife’s parents were in town. She’s gonna kill me,” Travis, one of JaLeah’s techs said.

“I told my boyfriend I’d be home an hour ago,” another tech said, giggling.

“It’s been a minute since we’ve had such a good night out,” JaLeah said. “See, Elliot? You should come more often.”

“It was cool to hang out,” Travis said. “You’re usually so intense at work—kinda like the big boss,” Travis finished with a chuckle.

I could feel Elliot’s fingers brush against mine. We had been playing this touching, not really, sometimes definitely, game all night and I was wet. I was appalled at myself for being so turned on just by proximity, but I couldn’t stop thinking what if this were normal? What if Elliot were mine? What if we went home together at the end of the night?

“There’s nothing wrong with taking work seriously,” I said, smiling. “That’s why I am the big boss.”

Travis and the others laughed.

We settled our bills and said our goodnights, but I noticed Sarah lingering at the door, clearly waiting for Elliot.

“I think we take the same line home,” she said smiling up at him as we reached her.

Elliot’s hands found their way into his pockets, the material of his dress shirt bunching a bit as he shoved them in.

“I take the 6,” Elliot stated, tension creeping into his voice.

JaLeah was giving out hugs like candy on Halloween, and I laughed to myself. She was such an extrovert, and I appreciated her energy on nights like this. The others slowly went in their separate directions as Elliot stayed close by, Sarah still talking.

“Great! We can ride together. It’s nice to have someone to talk to on the train at night. I forgot my earbuds this morning,” she said, chattering happily.

“Actually, Y/N, I was wondering if you wanted to, uh, come back to my place...” Elliot said, his eyes focused intensely on mine.

I could feel JaLeah and Sarah, damn near open-mouthed and watching this exchange. I felt like I might throw up on my shoes for a minute and I was thankful the street was dark because I knew there was a blush coloring my cheeks. I thought quickly, and shook my head, my words tumbling out of my mouth.

“Oh! That bug—that bug you told me about. You wanted me to run the analytics on it. I’ll send you the pin for Team Viewer and we can do it this weekend—I gotta get home. Taking care of my neighbor’s cat. Probably out of food. Have a good night!” I said, grinning like a madwoman and telling myself that Elliot did not look like I just kicked him in the face.

I waved to the three of them and took off for my train, thankful it was in the opposite direction. I turned around to see Elliot and Sarah headed in the same direction. I almost tripped over my own foot as JaLeah jumped up and down and mouthed “What the fuck, Y/N?! What the fuck?!”

I shook my head, turned around, and doubled my steps. I felt sick to my stomach. Fate had just laid an opportunity bare, spread eagle on the floor, and I walked away.

By the time I jumped onto my train and collapsed into a seat, I was fighting back tears. The look on Elliot’s face haunted me. I really, really hurt him—and I wasn’t sure I could fix it this time.

#elliot x reader #female reader #Elliot Alderson #elliot alderson fanfic #elliot alderson x reader #mr robot #mr robot fanfiction #rami malek #rami malek character #elliot

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avengerscompound · 4 years

Text

The Tower: Family - 19

The Tower: Family An Avengers Fanfic

Series Masterlist PREVIOUS //

Pairing: Avengers x OFC, Bruce Banner x Bucky Barnes x Clint Barton x Wanda Maximoff x Steve Rogers x Natasha Romanoff x Tony Stark x Thor x Sam Wilson x OFC (Elly Cooper)

Word Count: 2349

Warnings: Pregnancy

Chapter 19: Names

I was just under twenty weeks pregnant when I went to have my glucose test and the ultrasound that would tell us about any major abnormalities and possibly what sex the baby was. The twins were on one of their home days and we were taking them along too, so they could be there when they learned if the last of their new siblings would be a brother or sister. Everyone was excited and there had been bets made on if it would be a boy or a girl. Some people seemed to think that statistically, it would have to be a boy as there were already three girls on their way. However, Tony, Bruce, Sam, and Bucky all knew that’s not how statistics worked and seemed to think that it would be a girl just because the universe wanted us to have to all agree on four different girls' names at the same time.

While I was waiting for the sugar drink to take effect Natasha and Wanda had their checkups. They were now up to 28 weeks and everything was really good. Even Wanda with the twins was looking very on track. Both girls were growing strongly and Doctor Schroeder had no concerns at all about her getting to full term with them.

When I’d finally had my blood test and come into the examination room, Natasha and Wanda were finishing up and I was directed to get up on the table for my ultrasound. Steve, Tony, and Bruce were in attendance. Pietro was sitting on Bruce’s knee playing with a stethoscope, while Steve held Riley and she tried to grab every single thing that was in reach of her.

“How have you been feeling, Elise?” Doctor Schroeder asked as I got into position and she set up the ultrasound machine.

“Good,” I said. “The morning sickness passed. I have more energy. They kick a lot so I don’t get worried about them too much.”

“That’s good. And you’re keeping your stress levels low?” She asked, squeezing some gel on my stomach.

“Well…” I said, guiltily. “Less stress than when I was pregnant with the twins.”

She shook her head and pressed the paddle to my stomach. “You really need to be taking care of yourself, Elise.”

“You tell that to the world,” I snarked, and she laughed as she pressed the paddle down on her stomach.

The baby came into view on the screen, looking like an actual baby right down to the fingers and toes. “I’m assuming you’re all finding out the sex,” she said.

“Oh yeah. I definitely want to know what flavor of spawn El is cooking,” Tony said.

“And I’m guessing you’re all hoping for a boy,” she joked.

Tony went to speak, but Steve quickly cut him off. “We’ll all be happy either way.”

“What about you kids?” Doctor Schroeder asked. “Do you want this to be a brother or a sister?”

“I wanna sisder,” Riley said quickly.

“No, Wiley,” Pietro argued. “Deres fwee sisders. I wanna brovver.”

Doctor Schroeder started laughing. “Well, let’s see which one of you gets your wish.”

She moved the paddle getting it into position to see better. “Alright, if you’re placing bets, now’s the time,” she said. Tony crossed his fingers and started chanting, “Boy, boy, boy, boy, boy.”

“And we have a…” she said slowly, dragging out the suspense for as long as possible. “Boy. You’re having a boy.”

“Yes!” Tony said, pumping his fist in the air and leaning over and kissing me deeply.

“You hear that, Piet?” Bruce asked. “You get a brother.”

“Yay!” Pietro said, bouncing on Bruce’s lap.

“Oh, no,” Steve said. “We’re going to have a little mini-Tony in the family.”

I started laughing and cradled Tony’s jaw. “I know. Isn’t it great?”

“A boy,” Tony repeated. “Three girls and a little boy.”

“Will this make picking names easier or harder, do you think?” I asked.

The answer to that question was ‘harder’. Having one boy made deciding on the name harder.

After we finished up with the doctor we met the others on the garden deck with the dogs for a kind of picnic to try and work out names. With the twins, I had been the one to decide their names. I accepted input but no one was willing to argue with me about which names I settled on because I’d been under so much stress during the pregnancy. This time, we were all deciding together.

Having three girls on the way meant that everyone was willing to be more open to accepting girl’s names put forward by other people because there was always another daughter to have the girl’s name they preferred. There was only one boy and anyone that had a name they liked or was special to them wanted it to be the one used. So while the kids played with the dogs, we all sat around arguing about names.

“Hey, hey,” Steve said, putting his hands up. “Maybe we need to write a list.”

Tony opened up a screen that we could all see.

“So for girls we have; Sarah, Rebecca, Kate, Thour, Torunn, Ada, Lyra, Rose, and Marya,” Steve said. “And for boys we have; Paul, Thomas, William, Módi, Edwin, Ian, George, and Alex.”

“That’s more names than kids alright,” I joked as I helped myself to an egg salad sandwich.

“Should we vote?” Natasha asked. “I only suggested a girl’s name and Tony only suggested a boy’s name so we might be able to work it out through votes.”

“I don’t know about that,” Bucky argued. “Some of those names are important. Some are just names we like.”

“Maybe people who have names they wanted to be used already should get less of a vote this time,” Wanda suggested. “I mean, Pietro is already named for my brother. It is only fair that the names I suggested be put at the back of the line.”

“Does that mean El doesn’t get a say this time?” Clint asked. “I mean, Piet and Riley were named without a vote. She just decided.”

“Whose fault is that, Clint?” I snarked.

“Right,” he said, holding his hands up. “I know. Sorry, I was just asking.”

“Elise gets just as much a say as everyone else,” Steve said firmly. “She may have selected Riley and Pietro’s names but she chose them based on people who were important to some of us.”

“Daddy, daddy, daddy,” Riley said, running flat out into the group, followed by Spotty. She slammed into Sam’s side, drawing a soft ‘oof’ from him before grabbing his arm and pulling on it. “Come, come pway.”

“Hold on, you monster. We’re just trying to pick the names for your new brothers and sisters,” Sam explained, picking her up and tossing her in the air. “After I finish my lunch I’ll play.”

“Why don’t you and Pietro get in the swings and I’ll push you,” Wanda suggested. Riley seemed to think that was a good idea as she ran back off with the dalmatian on her heels. When she and Pietro climbed up into their toddler swings, Wanda flicked her wrist and used her telekinesis to push them.

“Is it worth noting that Sarah was a name put forward by two people and so was Rebecca?” I asked.

“That’s a good point,” Steve agreed.

“Plus those are family ones. I’d really like to name one of my daughters after my sister,” Bucky said. “And it was Bruce’s mom too right, Bruce?”

Bruce nodded. “That’s right. I would definitely like to honor my mother. She was the only reason I made it through infancy.”

“And I’d like to use Sarah for the same reason,” Steve agreed.

“Plus Sarah was my late sister’s name,” Sam added.

“I’m fine with Sarah and Rebecca being two of the names,” I said.

“Anyone not okay with that?” Tony asked. When no one argued it, he moved the names Rebecca and Sarah to a new column.

“Was there any other girl’s names that were special to us?” Steve asked.

“Marya was my mother’s name,” Wanda said, still flicking her wrist back and forth as she swung the kids. The sounds of the squeals floating over to us.

“And Rose was the name I chose when I had a miscarriage,” Natasha said. “I know that’s not the same thing but… I feel attached to the name.”

Clint put his arm around her and rubbed her side.

“They’re both really pretty names,” I said. “I’d be happy with either.”

There was a murmuring of agreement from the others. Tyr who seemed to be finished playing with the kids came over and curled up on Bucky’s lap and he started playing with the spaniel’s ears.

“I guess the question would be if either of you is happy to have the name as a middle name? And if not, do you want to hold onto it in case we have any more children in the future.”

“I can wait,” Wanda said, caressing her stomach. “Pietro was named for my brother and I want to do this again. Maybe not for a while but I love being pregnant.”

Tony moved the name Rose under Rebecca and Marya to a completely different line.

“Alright, we’re getting somewhere,” Steve said. “Anyone not okay with any of these girls' names being middle names?”

“If we ever use Thour, I’d like it to be a first name,” Thor said.

“Same with Kate,” Clint added, and both names were moved to the row with Marya.

“Well that leaves three names, which is exactly what we need,” Bruce said. “So let’s just see how they sound together.”

There was a little toing and froing, and at one point Clint and Sam got up to play with the kids while we argued about how the names sounded together. In the end, we settled on Rebecca Torunn for the baby Natasha was carrying, and Sarah Lyra and Rose Ada for the twins.

“Alright we have eight boys’ names and one boy,” Steve said. “How are we going to do this? What names are important to us? Ian was my grandfather and George was Bucky’s dad.”

“Paul was my dad,” Sam added.

“Edwin was Jarvis’ first name,” Tony said.

“But all of you have also had a kid or more named after someone important to you,” I reasoned. “Has anyone not done that?”

“Well you, and you’ve carried the most babies,” Sam said playfully.

“That is true. But I did also name the twins with no discussion,” I added. “I don’t know if I have any names that I really love anyway. I like having the names be important to all of you.”

“Seriously though, El,” Bruce said. “All of us have put names forward and all of us have had at least one name that was important to us used already. Isn’t there a name you grew up loving? Or a family member who you did love? A grandparent maybe?”

I shook my head and shrugged a little. “I liked the name Nova I guess,” I said. “But I’d much rather he be Edwin or Ian or Paul than Nova.”

“Not George? Rude,” Bucky teased.

“Come on now, Buck,” I teased back. “You have a common name like George and you don’t even use it.”

“Oh and Paul is so… uncommon,” he snarked.

“Anyway,” I said, rolling my eyes. “Bucky, Steve, Sam, and Bruce now all have first names for kids. Yes, Riley’s middle name comes from Tony’s mom, but given that this baby is one he specifically asked to have, I think it’s fair that we name him Edwin unless anyone has any huge objections to that.”

“I don’t!” Tony joked.

When no one argued with it the name Edwin moved from the maybe pile to the list under Rebecca, Sarah, and Rose. “Alright, Eddie is gonna need a middle name,” Tony said.

“I say George,” Bucky said. “Seeing as Elise just seriously dissed my dad’s name.”

I smothered a laugh and pushed him. He wrapped his arm around me and pulled me back so we were both lying on the ground. I squealed and started wrestling with him and soon the dogs and then the twins were trying to get in on the action too. “Bucky!” I squealed as I struggled under him. “This isn’t how you get what you want!”

“Really?” He asked as he started tickling me. “I think it’s gonna work.”

“Stop it! I’m gonna pee myself!” I squealed.

“Daddy! You weave mommy awone!” Pietro said, protectively pushing Bucky to get him off me.

Bucky sat up laughing. “Oh no, I’m sorry, peanut. I shouldn’t be so mean to mommy should I?”

Pietro put his hands on his hips and huffed. He looked so much like a mini Steve that it would have been easy to forget that Clint was actually his biological dad. “Oh man,” Tony laughed. “Cap version 2.0.”

“Thank you, Piet,” I said, pulling him into my arms and cuddling him. “We were just playing.”

“Otay, mommy,” he said, snuggling up to me.

“Daddy Bucky wants your little brother’s name to be Edwin George Skjodbærer. What do you think?” I asked.

Pietro seemed to think about it for a moment and nodded his head. “Is good.”

Steve chuckled. “Well, I think the king has spoken. Edwin George?”

Everyone nodded in agreement and Tony moved George next to Edwin in the list. “That’s one more thing done,” he said. “Now all we really need to do is stock up on baby supplies and hire the nannies.”

“There is one other thing we need to work on,” Steve said seriously and looked at me. “We need to figure out how to get rid of El’s stress.”

I frowned and nodded. It was definitely something I needed to work out, but I was afraid that any steps I took might just make it worse. Whatever the case was, I need to go speak to my mother and hope that I could get some kind of closure for good.

// NEXT

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