#and we really thought we were this lifetime-bonded group that could handle a

[avpd-queer]

I’m still so fucked up by everything that went down with my former best friend, and I don’t know if I’ll ever get over it. They really set me back. They proved to me that my only value to people is as a doormat.

[apocalypseornaw]

Open My Eyes

Apocalyptic AU.

Dean gets increasingly jealous of your bond with Gadreel and things come to a head after a misunderstanding on a run

Dean had known you for years. Long before the dead started to rise and the world as it was previously known came crashing down. He knew you inside and out, you were one of his best friends. Maybe that was why it was bothering him so deeply to see you get closer with someone who was fairly new to your group. Gadreel had come in with the Banes twins. They’d gone through Bobby’s usual line of questions without missing a beat and had fit in smoothly enough with everyone else. That had been nearly six months ago which was a lifetime nowadays.

He tried to get you out of his head as he walked across the field that stretched between the outer fence and inner fence of the compound all of you now called home. It’d started life as a high school but with some hard work and a lot of blood, sweat and tears it was now a suitable place to survive the new world. Unfortunately before he could reach the sanctuary of the building where Bobby, Sam and Jody were waiting to talk about the new run that needed to happen he heard the all too familiar sound of your laugh.

He turned and found a small smile working its way onto his face when he saw you walking with Alicia and Max. You had your arm around Alicia’s shoulder and was laughing at something Max had said. He started to call your name but before he could he heard it called from a different direction and felt his mood immediately sour when you pulled your arm from Alicia to greet Gadreel as he made it to the three of you. He watched you pull the other man down to whisper something in his ear and felt anger flick at his mind. Especially when Gadreel laughed then whispered something back to you. Dean spun on his heel, he didn’t need to see any more.

------

The door to the meeting room slammed open but luckily for the three people sitting around the table it took a lot more than that to rattle their nerves. Bobby barely glanced up from the map “Nice of you to join us Dean now how about leaving the damn door on the hinges?”

Sam watched his brother drag a chair out and flop down into it. He wanted to ask what was wrong but knew that they needed to get this meeting through and that Dean was prone to shut down if asked directly what was wrong. He always did better with letting it slip through cursing whatever had soured his mood.

“From what we can figure there’s a couple veterinarian clinics along the route as well and considering the fact that people medicine isn’t actually any different than animal medicine they may have supplies there and it wouldn’t hurt to check” Jody spoke tapping a few different places on the map. Bobby nodded then cut his eyes at Dean “You and Sam up to taking a team and checking it out? We need the supplies to winterize this place once and for all, not to mention having extra medical supplies on hand wouldn’t hurt”

“Yeah we can handle it Bobby” Dean promised although it was apparent his mind was still not focused on the meeting. “All in all it’ll probably take about a week or so considering the ground you’ll have to cover so I’d pick a good team. Take Y/N with you too she hangs out with Alex and Kaia enough she can spot anything that has medicinal usage from a mile away” Jody added with a wink to Bobby before pushing away from the table to head out. She’d be gathering supplies for whatever team was picked and wanted to get it together.

Bobby watched her leave then turned back to his surrogate sons. “So I was thinking Y/N, Alicia, Max, Gadreel and Charlie would be a decent team to take. Ain’t like any of those girls can’t handle their own in a fight. Max can get through any tight spot and Gadreel is strong as a horse” Dean scoffed at that which earned him a look from Bobby “You got an issue with any of that son?”

Dean shook his head “Nope” then pushed his chair back “I’m going to gather my gear, you two can make sure everyone is up to the run” with that he walked out leaving Bobby to throw a questioning look at Sam who simply shrugged “I don’t really know what that’s about either” “Make sure he keeps a clear head. There’s a lot of dangers out there and not just the biters got it?” Sam nodded “Yes sir”

------

You were helping Jody to gather supplies for the upcoming run after she’d come out of the meeting with Bobby, Dean and Sam. “Do you know anything that could be bothering Dean?” She asked, holding out a pack of dried meat. You took it and shook your head “Not that I know of but I could always just ask him?”

She shrugged “No he’ll tell you or Sam if whatever it is gets to bothering him too much” You would hope so anyways. You always went to Dean if anything was bothering you. He’d offer advice if that’s what you were after or simply offer comfort or a place to vent. “I’m gonna grab my jacket and go bag from my room then I’ll meet everyone by the front gate” she nodded to let you know she’d heard you so you turned to head towards the living quarters.

The halls that had been transformed to be mini dorm rooms were actually quite comfortable considering. You considered yourself lucky that you’d been close with a lot of your group before that fateful day that a widespread virus was alerted in the news. You could still remember Sam’s phone call to you “Pack just what you need. Dean will be pulling up at your place any time”

You’d hastily thrown clothes and the contents of your medicine cabinet in a bag. Before you were through grabbing what you deemed necessary you heard a heavy knock on your door followed by Dean’s voice “Come on sweetheart! We gotta go!” When you opened the door your eyes widened when Dean shoved a gun into your hand. “Dean, what’s going on?” you asked and he took a deep breath “Long story short? The dead are rising. True,blue zombies. We gotta go cause shit is hitting the fan fast”

You gripped the gun noticing the one in his own hand and nodded “Lead the way Winchester. You know I trust you”

------

You shook yourself out of thoughts of the past. You needed to focus on this run completely. You grabbed your go bag from the floor checking what ammo you had and slipping a machete at your side. You glanced at your bat leaned next to the bed but decided against it. It was better the few times you’d go out solo or with just one other person. From what Jody had said there was a full team going after the winterizing supplies.

You slipped your jacket on then slid the strap of your bag across your chest. You walked back towards the doors that led outside. The electricity that the compound ran off of came from a mixture of solar panels and generators. The good part? Bobby knew enough to be able to brew enough corn liquor that the generators had fuel for years.

The only downside was that meant the few vehicles you had could only be used in moderation. Short runs horses were used for but considering this one would take about a week and would be gathering supplies for all the black panel van that was used for such runs was parked by the front gate awaiting those going.

You walked towards the gate and smiled when you spotted Dean standing with Bobby and Sam at the front of the van. They were clearly going over the mapped out areas one more time but you knew neither of them would mind you inserting yourself into the conversation. Since Dean’s back was to you and Sam noticed you first so you raised one finger to your lips. He quickly turned his attention back to the conversation so you wouldn’t be noticed.

You quietly took a few steps forward and slid your arms around Dean’s waist and leaned your head on his shoulder even if that meant you had to stand on your tip toes and still barely reach “So where are we going?” you could see the corners of his mouth tick up and knew he was fighting a smile “We’re going to a few different places sweetheart. You wanna hang off me like a spider monkey or you want to actually look at the map?” you feigned a pout “Why can’t I hang off you like a spider monkey and look at the map?” he rolled his eyes with a laugh “Get down”

You pulled your head down from his shoulder and moved your arms from around his waist to step slightly in front of him and look at the map Bobby had laid across the hood. Sam went over the stops with you, highlighting the couple where you’d be taking the lead since you knew more about what was needed for medicinal purposes. “Sounds good to me. Who’s the rest of the crew?” you could’ve sworn you saw a look be passed among the three of them before Bobby said “Alicia, Charlie, Max and Gadreel” you nodded approvingly at the choices “All good picks”

You heard a sharp whistle and turned to see Charlie walking towards the four of you trailed by the rest of the crew. “What’s up bitches? We ready to ride?” “Of course dear” You replied meeting her halfway.

------

Dean watched as you greeted the rest of the crew going on the run. Charlie was like a sister to him, Alicia and Max were cool but spending the next week in close quarters with you and Gadreel? Yeah he may look for some biters just to have an excuse to kill something.

“Alright! Everyone load up!” he barked out and you cut your eyes up at him “Depends, can I have shotgun for the first few miles at least?” He barely glanced at Gadreel before saying “Of course sweetheart” . You shot him a wink then walked around to the passenger side of the van along with everyone else who was climbing into the back.

Sam didn’t miss the look Dean threw at Gadreel or the way his brother had bristled anytime over the last few weeks when he’d see you with the other man. Was that what the attitude was about before the meeting? Was Dean jealous? He chose not to say anything for now and instead simply walked around to sit next to Gadreel on the middle seat since Charlie had taken up the backseat along with the twins.

------

Your destination was two states over. It was a contraction warehouse that had fallen early. Bobby kept an eye on the amount of biters in it versus the prospects of anyone actually getting inside.

Considering the zombies had lightened up in that area and everything needed to finish winterizing the compound and green houses could be found there it was worth the risk to go. That way you'd have running water and fresh food no matter how severe the coming winter got.

You were curled up with your feet under you watching the road whip by as Dean drove. You had a shoebox full of cassette tapes in your lap looking over them to see if any peaked your interest. You plucked one out of the box and stuck it into the player simply to see Dean's reaction when it started playing.

When the first few notes of It's My Life started playing he cut his eyes at you "Bon Jovi really?" You grinned "Hey Bon Jovi rocks...on occasion" then started singing along and couldn't help but laugh when Sam, Charlie and Max joined in.

No matter the music or the company Dean couldn't fight the smile that worked its way onto his face. You had shifted to have your legs out in front of you and were now drumming on the dash along with the music and had everyone in the van either singing or laughing along. Why had he never realized how amazing you were before? Why had it literally taken an apocalypse to open his eyes?

He watched you turn in your seat and bump Gadreel's leg as You Give Love a Bad Name started and felt that same flicker of anger. Maybe he'd waited too long to see what had been in front of him for years, maybe Gadreel had realized it a lot sooner.

The first day on the road was pretty uneventful. There were no stops to be made marked on the map so it was filled with just driving besides stopping for everyone to find a tree.

Considering the route was figured to be about three days there and three back (giving plenty of leadway for any issues that might arise) you asked Dean once the sun started going down if he was ready to pull over somewhere for the night or if he wanted you or Sam to take over driving.

He glanced in the mirror at Sam "What do you say Sammy? Wanna take the wheel for a while?" "Sure" Sam agreed so Dean stopped dead in the center of the road..not like there was a lot of traffic.

"Well I'm gonna climb in the back and get a little sleep" you announced after realizing Charlie, Max and Alicia were all knocked out. "Yeah Gadreel you wanna hop up here man? I'm pretty wiped too" Dean suggested and Gadreel replied "Sure. I already caught my few hours"

Gadreel held the side door open so you slid under his arm with a smile "Thanks '' he smiled in return. When Dean walked around he grabbed the door "I got it. Thanks" Gadreel simply nodded and climbed into the passenger seat.

You were already slid in next to the window when Dean climbed in next to you. You waited until Sam had started driving to turn so you could curl up next to Dean. He looked down at you with a raised eyebrow "What are you doing?" You grinned "Sleeping. Now hush and be a good pillow" instead of pulling away like you half expected he raised his arm slightly to pull you closer to him "I'll be a good pillow if you be a good pillow" you smiled when you felt him lean his head over on you and whispered "Deal"

"Look alive. This is the first of two vet clinics we gotta hit on this trip" Dean spoke as he pulled the van to a stop and glanced around. "Seven people so I'm thinking three teams of two and leave one person behind the wheel in case we need a fast exit?" You suggested and he winked at you "Just what I was thinking"

You slid your gun into the holster on your thigh but grabbed the machete from your floorboard as first line of defense. Guns were loud and the last thing you wanted was a herd of amped up zombies descending on the group before you could even go through the clinic. You turned and looked at everyone then nodded to yourself “Ok so Charlie you up for setting this one out?” She shrugged “Sure but I get to help clear the next one”

You shot her a smile then said “Ok Max and Alicia, Dean and Sam then Gadreel you’re with me..everyone good with that?” Everyone nodded but Dean who just walked to the back of the van to grab the canvas bags out without so much as a look in your direction. You raised an eyebrow to Sam who shrugged so you followed behind Dean keeping an eye out to make sure all of the commotion hadn’t attracted any undue attention.

You stood slightly behind him hearing him mumble to himself before he turned around and realized you were standing there “Son of a bitch Y/N. Make some noise sweetheart, the point is to not blend in with the dead” you grinned playfully “Is that your way of asking me to bite you?” he rolled his eyes but you could see just the barest hint of a smirk trying to work its way onto his face “Just be careful in there. Sure you trust him to have your back?”

You cut your eyes over to your group where they were all watching the woods line that bordered the back parking lot of the clinic “Yeah, I’ll be ok. Not gonna lie I don’t think I’ll ever trust anyone to have my back the way I trust you or well Sam but Gadreel has proved he’s good in a tight spot”

He nodded and for a second you thought he was going to say something else but he simply held out one of the bags “Remember get in, get out” you took the bag with a small smile “Aye aye” then walked back over to the group.

Dean watched you walk over to Gadreel. You said you’d never trust anyone the way you trusted him..that meant a lot didn’t it? He shook his head then walked over himself to pass Max then Sam a bag before nodding at Charlie “We’ll be out in five”

------

The clinic had three entrances. One to the side of the building, one to the back and one to the front. You and Gadreel took the back entrance, the twins took the side leaving the front to Sam and Dean.

You touched the handle of the door then looked at Gadreel “You want me to pull and you be ready or vice versa?” “Ladies choice” he replied with a laugh. You nodded then motioned to the door “In that case you pull and I’ll be ready”

He got into position but waited until you gave him a nod to open the door. You hoisted your machete but no noise came. You leaned inside and stomped your foot a few times “Hello? Anyone home?” You cut your eyes at him and he shrugged. “Maybe no one ended up here?” “We can only hope” you replied before walking further inside.

You could hear the rest of your crew checking but it appeared the clinic was well and truly empty. You picked a room and waved to Gadreel to follow you. The moment you stepped into the room you pulled your flashlight out of the pocket of your jacket and saw that from the looks of it you’d picked the operating room.

You motioned to the wall of shelves in front of you “I hate to ask but do you think you can give me a lift to the top one so I can see what’s up there?” He laughed lightly and you could feel the short jokes coming but instead he simply pointed to the machete in your hand “Lay that down so I don’t accidentally get stabbed and I’d be glad to” you laid the machete down on the silver table that was in the middle of the room then turned back to Gadreel “Better?” he nodded “Turn around so I can give you a boost then I’ll keep one hand on your back to steady you” you turned towards the shelves like he said and felt his hands around your waist a second before he lifted you into the air.

You climbed onto the highest shelf that normally would take a step ladder to reach then smiled over your shoulder at him “Thank you.Now get ready so if I find something good”

------

Dean and Sam had cleared three different cabinets. They’d found a good amount of first aid supplies ranging from suture kits to wound cleansers. “I’m gonna check on Alicia and Max” Sam said so Dean replied “I’ll check on Y/N and Gadreel”

Sam headed towards the back of the clinic where the twins were so Dean headed towards the operating room where you and Gadreel had gone into. He could hear you laughing right before he opened the door to see Gadreel putting you back down on your feet, his hands were still on your hips and you were smiling up at him with your hands against his chest.

Dean felt that same flicker of anger but this time it was mixed with more emotions than just that. He almost felt sick with just how angry he felt, not to mention the hurt. You weren’t even kissing Gadreel but he felt as if he’d walked in on a lot more intimate moment than he had. Luckily he was able to reel it in and sounded emotionless when he waved a hand towards the two of you “Didn’t know I was interrupting something. Times up, we gotta go so whatever you two are doing, stick a damn pin in it or something” then turned and walked out without saying a word.

------

Gadreel watched Dean walk out then looked back at you “What was that about? I was just helping you down..he doesn’t think we..?” you weren’t sure what to say. To anyone else Dean would’ve sounded almost bored but you knew him well enough to know when he was blocking emotions. You weren’t sure what was going on but when Dean sounded emotionless were the times that his mind was being his worst enemy “I have no clue honestly Gadreel. Don’t worry about it though, I’ll handle it” “I’d never disrespect you or any woman for that matter. I mean well don’t get me wrong you’re a beautiful woman but I thought..” he trailed off and looked again at the door when Dean had disappeared out of then shook his head “Just know if I did anything wrong I apologize” “You didn’t Gadreel. Don’t worry Dean just gets a little antsy on runs” you explained with a strained smile.

By the time you and Gadreel made it to the parking lot everyone had loaded their bags and only Sam stood outside the van. He took the bag from Gadreel then glanced at you, You followed him to the back of the van and watched as he added your bag to the bunch. After he shut the door he turned around and leaned close to you. “What happened in there?” You groaned slightly “He didn’t make a scene did he?” he shook his head “No but I know him like you know him. Now what happened?” You took a breath running your hand down your face “I think he got the wrong idea when he saw Gadreel with his hands on me. He was helping me down off a tall shelf that was it Sam I swear! You know me I wouldn’t do anything on a run and honestly? Yeah Gadreel is a good looking guy I have eyes but that doesn’t mean I’d screw him on a run for fuck’s sake we both have sleeping quarters back at the compound..I don’t know why Dean acted like that! Nice to know one of my closest friends thinks so highly of me that he thinks I’d risk anyone's life to fool around on a run”

You were starting to move past confused onto anger the more you spoke and Sam knew that so he reached out and squeezed your shoulder “Breathe, ride in the backseat with Charlie and Alicia. I’m gonna ride up front with him and Max is riding in the middle seat. I’ll try to talk to him ok?” you nodded, not trusting your voice at the moment because you were highly conflicted.

Finally you managed “Ok” then walked back around the van to climb into the backseat with Alicia and Charlie. Charlie raised an eyebrow at you not riding upfront with Dean but welcomed you into the conversation she and Alicia were having.

The third day on the road meant clearing the second vet clinic. You were going through a list of top things to look for with Alicia. All of you had stopped a few miles from the clinic to clear the road of an overturned tree. You and her were keeping an eye out for any dead that may be attracted to the noises. So far you both had killed one a piece.

“All clear ladies!” Charlie called out so you both headed back to the van. You wanted nothing more than to ask Dean why he’d acted like he had but refused to start an argument in the middle of a run. You’d push it down until all of you got safely back to the compound then you’d confront him about it.

You climbed into the backseat silently sliding between Alicia and Max. You didn’t really want to spare a word for anyone but since Bobby had been clear the clinics were more your wheelhouse everyone was looking at you as to what to grab for human use and what could be left behind.

You finally spoke as Dean was pulling into the overgrown parking lot of the clinic “I’ve went over the list with Alicia and Sam so they both know what to look for” Dean knew you were talking to him in particular and barely cut his eyes at you in the mirror before saying “I’m staying behind the wheel this time. Charlie can go in with Sam” you nodded more to yourself than in response to him. Why was he being so damn infuriating? If he’d just talk to you then...well what exactly would you say?

You climbed out and once your feet hit the dirt you turned to Gadreel “Ready?” he nodded so you looked around to everyone for their acknowledgement that they were all set.You shot one final look at Dean before falling Gadreel across the lot.

------

“Son of a bitch that damn thing came out of nowhere” you cursed kicking the now permanently dead zombie at your feet. Gadreel pulled a bandana from his pocket and held it out “You’ve got some blood smeared across your cheek” you wiped at it and gave him a small albeit appreciative smile “Thanks and again I’m sorry about how Dean acted” he shrugged “It’s ok really. It’s understandable”

You laughed harshly “Accusing us of screwing around literally on a run? That’s understandable? You’re a little too zen” he looked at you for a moment as if there was a second meaning to what he’d said but if there was you couldn’t quite grasp it. He shook his head after a moment then held a hand out “I’ll carry the bag”

------

Dean was watching the door of the clinic closely. Max and Alicia were the first duo out followed by Sam and Charlie. You and Gadreel bought up the rear.

He tried to bite his tongue but when you started to climb in considering you were the first one in the van he couldn’t stop the words before they came out “You and Gadreel didn’t get into anymore tight spots did you?” He regretted the words the moment they left his mouth but it was too late to pull them back then. He could see the shock in your eyes when you froze halfway into the back seat and slowly turned to look at him the shock quickly turning to anger “Believe me Dean if I was to fuck Gadreel I’d wait until I had longer than a few minutes to try him out” before either of you could say anything else Sam opened the front door and Charlie stepped up to climb in behind you.

Dean was still staring at you in the mirror when he heard Alicia ask if you were ok since you were balling up what looked like a bandana in your hands. “Yeah just took out a biter so Gadreel gave it to me to clean the blood off”

------

You purposely turned to stare out the window and cursed the moment you’d agreed to come on this run. You wouldn’t cry. Hell you couldn’t afford the luxury of hurt feelings these days but knowing that didn’t exactly take the sting out of Dean’s words. You looked down at your hands as you tied Gadreel’s bandana into a loose knot then untied it and repeated the process. You just had to get this run over then you could distance yourself from Dean. You’d said the first thing that had came to mind that would hopefully hurt him the same way his words had hurt you..what had exactly become of yours and Dean’s friendship over the last few months?

Day four meant the last leg of the run before the turn around to head home to the compound. You hadn’t spoken a word to Dean and hadn’t really spoken to anyone without them saying something to you first. Dean hated that his jealousy because whether he liked it not he was jealous he hated that he’d let it put a wedge between you and him,

He had no idea what he could do to even slightly make it up to you. He spotted the turn off for the construction warehouse so he cleared his throat “Charlie you wanna be a wheelman again?” she glanced up from her spot next to you and nodded “Sure!” “Then we’ll do two teams of three that good with everyone?” he was hoping you’d say something but instead of what he wanted you to say you looked up “I’ll be on the team with Alicia and Max. I have the list you said we needed. I’ll tear it in half and hand Gadreel the other half. You, him and Sam can find that stuff”

Dean didn’t attempt to argue with you and only nodded instead “Sounds like a plan” Sam cut his eyes at his brother not really being used to him being ok with someone else calling the shots but it was you after all. “You good?” he asked quietly and Dean replied “Yeah” then pulled into the parking lot of the construction warehouse.

------

You were out of the van the moment it stopped rolling. There were two zombies shambling around the lot and you took them out in tandem. You turned to look at everyone as they climbed out of the van and managed to crack a smile when Charlie teased “My oh my someone woke up on the wrong side of the apocalypse” you shrugged “Hey beats any other stress release there was pre-z”

A small chorus of laughter went through everyone and you were glad for that. You didn’t want whatever was happening between you and Dean to affect everyone else. You winked at Alicia “Grab your brother and lets go shopping” she laughed and grabbed Max by the arm then motioned to you “Lead the way”

------

Sam could practically feel the tension in the air between Dean and Gadreel. He had thought for a while Dean’s feelings for you went deeper than friendship but it hadn’t been as blaringly apparent until Gadreel came into the picture. He was a good guy, he got along well with everyone in the compound. He respected that the women helped keep everything going and always managed to pull a smile to your face over some small joke. Dean was threatened by him because up to this point there hadn’t been any other guy that garnered any of your attention away from Dean not one anyone that you would be a possible match with.

The three of them were working in silence quickly gathering what was on their half of the list. Sam was personally just hoping no fight broke out that he’d had to break up. He noticed that Dean kept cutting his eyes at Gadreel and said a prayer under his breath that just for once Dean would let it go.

He had no such luck because although Dean didn’t say anything Gadreel cleared his throat “Dean” Dean raised his eyebrows in response to the other man “Yeah?” “Just so you know nothing happened between me and Y/N. She’s a beautiful, amazing woman but...”

Dean cut Gadreel off before he could finish speaking with a shake of his head “I was in the wrong man...to snap at either of you. You’re both grown, what you do is your business and I trust the fact that neither of you would do anything on a run to risk your lives or anyone else's”

Sam watched the both of them for a moment trying to decipher if they were actually trying to get along or mutually waving the white flag for your benefit but the moment was broken by Alicia’s scream of your name. No words had to be passed amongst the three men; they all started running towards the sound.

------

You were following behind Alicia and Max trying to keep an eye out for the last couple items on your half of the list. You glanced up at a shelf that ran nearly up to the high ceiling of the warehouse and decided to check it out. Max stopped when he saw you looking and offered “Want a hand getting up there?” you shook your head with a slight smirk “Naw I think I can handle it but stay close just in case”

You made it to the halfway point and had even grabbed a few things you knew were needed when you went to step on a board and felt it crack under you. One minute you were standing the next you felt yourself falling and only barely managed to hold onto the backpack you had been storing supplies in.

You hit hard behind the shelf and heard a low growl.You pushed yourself to sit up and saw three biters shuffling towards you “Son of a bitch” you groaned trying to get to your feet. You went to push yourself up but felt a gush of blood from your left arm so you used your right to get to your feet just barely avoiding the chomping teeth of the zombie that was bearing down on you. You could hear Alicia scream your name but couldn’t spare a response. You had to show attention to the threat in front of you. You slammed your machete into the skull of the first one in front of you and cursed again when you realized that while you’d killed it your blade was stuck. You reached for the knife at your side knowing it was your only chance. You kicked the second one square in the stomach knocking it back long enough you could stab the last one in the eye.

You pulled your knife free and felt the one you’d kicked grab your jacket. You struggled to get out of it before the zombie sank it’s rotting teeth into the material. You slammed your knife into it’s skull then leaned heavily against the wall. The shelf slid away to show you an exit route. You ran towards the sunlight now streaming in and saw that Dean, Sam, Gadreel, Max and Alicia had all worked to get the shelf pulled out.

The moment Alicia saw you she looked at the guys “Turn around let me help her check herself out” the men all quickly obliged so you let her pull your shirt up and check across your back,stomach and both arms to assure you hadn’t been bit. “Didn’t you find a few suture kits at the last clinic?” She asked and you nodded then spoke loud enough the guys could hear “All clear boys. You can look now”

Dean’s eyes were glued to your left arm where the sleeve of your grey shirt was soaked with blood “Please tell me that’s a cut sweetheart” you smiled slightly “Bastard tried to bite me but only got my jacket” “Thank god” he breathed. You simply nodded and looked around “Did we get everything we need cause I’d really like to go home to the compound now. It’s been a long week” Sam laughed lightly and nodded “Yeah we got it all but first someone has to help stitch you up before we roll out”

------

Charlie had been nominated to help you stitch up your arm so you were sitting in the back of the van while she worked. Everyone else was keeping an eye out to ensure no more biters made their presence known. “So are we gonna talk about some of the weirdness?” You raised an eyebrow which made her nod in response whether at you or at herself “Ok then guess not” she tied off the last stitch and snipped it “I don’t have to tell you to keep it clean” you slid your shirt back on fully and gave her a small smile “I know aftercare instructions ma’am”

------

Dean watched you in the rearview mirror as he drove. You’d fallen asleep in the jacket Gadreel had given you to wear considering yours had been turned into a zombie chew toy. He couldn’t find it in himself to be angry that you were leaning against Gadreel asleep. He’d nearly lost you. Nothing else mattered. Why had he acted like he had towards you? Why couldn’t he just tell you he had feelings for you? Why hadn’t he realized it before Gadreel joined the compound? He let out a breath which made Sam look his way. “You good?” He nodded “Yeah be even better when we get home”

A few days had passed since all of you had made it back to the compound. You had barely spoken to Dean since getting back. You were still conflicted about the way he’d acted on the run.You were walking through one of the greenhouses checking the medicinal plants. You could hear someone walking behind you but didn’t have to look to know who it was. You’d know Dean’s footsteps anywhere.

“What’s this one?” He asked stopping at the plant furthest away from you “Echinacea, it helps for colds and flu” you replied barely looking in his direction. He walked a little closer to you and touched another plant. “What about this one?” You sighed loudly before answering “Ginger, it has anti-inflammatory, antibacterial,antiviral property and helps with nausea”

You finally turned to look fully at him “Can we not act like you actually give a damn about any of these plants? Why are you here Dean? You’ve avoided me for days, hell I’ve avoided you too so why are we talking now?” he took a few steps towards you stopping only a mere foot away “I miss you, you’re my best friend and I acted like an idiot..” “And practically accused me of being a whore that couldn’t even wait to get back to safety to fuck someone” you added and he chuckled lightly “That too”

“Why Dean? Why have you been pulling away from me for months and why did this run just cement the fact that our friendship is apparently broken beyond repair” you felt your voice break but didn’t try to hide it. You cared about Dean even if you’d resigned yourself to only being a friend to him because he’d never see you as more. Now you’d even lost that.

“Please, don’t say that Y/N. I was an asshole I’ll admit. I never should’ve acted like that towards you or Gadreel..it’s just..” he trailed off and you were too tired of beating around the bush by that point so this time you were the one to snap “Just what Dean?”

“I saw you getting close with him. I saw the way you two looked at each other then seeing his hands on you and the way you were smiling..I knew I’d lost any chance with you. It took me seeing you with him to open my eyes to just how much you mean to me” you were stunned into silence at his words. After a moment without you replying he laughed bitterly “Yeah and now I look like an idiot to add to it. Look I just wanted to say sorry and I hope you’ll forgive me”

He turned to walk out and only then did you find your voice “You are an idiot” he turned around to face you “Excuse me?” You crossed the space to stand in front of him “You’re an idiot Dean Winchester. I've had feelings for you for a long time. Yeah Gadreel is a good looking guy and a sweetheart. We’re good friends and I like spending time with him but as far as who I want? It’s been you, it’s always been you”

A smile slipped onto his face “Well does that mean we’re gonna give this a try?” you shrugged nonchalantly “I don’t know. Are you gonna be a jealous ass if I have male friends and hang out with them?” he laughed “No, I promise you my days of being a jealous asshole are over. If you’re sure you want me I know you only say what you mean” you tapped your chin in mock thought for a moment before saying “In that case why don’t we seal it with a kiss?” “Thought you’d never ask,” he replied, pulling you into his arms.

[dreamsmp-au-ideas]

Once again I am bored and putting off updating so I’m coming at y'all with a brand new au idea. 

Blood God Deo.

The idea of Tommy accidentally befriending gods is hilarious to me for some reason, especially a Tommy who starts out as just some random kid. He has two reflexes whenever he meets a god, friend or fight. So far only Josh and Dream have both triggered the fight reflex.

Deo isn’t particularly open about being the Blood God. He doesn’t even particularly enjoy the job. Sure, he’s ferocious in a battle, but he holds back a lot and he’s no where near as blood thirsty as half of his Acolytes. The voices acting how they do wasn’t even his idea, it was actually a curse from another God placed onto all of his followers. The Original Chat was designed to essentially be a helper. They would help moderate the bloodlust of his followers (who were renown for loosing pieces of themselves to the slaughter) and in addition they’d know things that his followers wouldn’t like the position of enemies and special details about weapons and armor like durability or quality. Original Chat was able to see everything going on around the Acolyte and offer advice in case the Acolyte lost one of their senses or something else happened.

Deo stopped blessing people after Chat was corrupted (probably by Dream. I don’t think Dream should be a Chaos god like a lot of people decide he should be. He should rule over something like Control, Manipulation, or Betrayal, it makes more sense with his current character arc.) Deo starts only blessing people who have enough sense of strength, morality, and self to actually ignore Corrupted Chat, though sometimes if Deo interacts with someone they can become accidentally blessed without him even knowing (read as Techno). Deo kind of closes himself off at some point, hiding himself away on hypixel.

Then he meets Tommy. This little brat who manages to all but force his way into Deo’s good graces and eventually a role of friendship. The first friend Deo’s had in centuries if not longer. Gods have two marks they can give to people. Marks they actively or subconsciously give to their Acolytes and marks that they only subconsciously give to people they care about and want to protect. Their friends. Tommy gets the later and neither notice since the powers associated with the later don’t make themselves readily apparently unlike with a typical Acolyte. (Spoilers, Tommy gets a version of Original Chat that he doesn’t realize is there because Original Chat is way easier to block out and shut up than Corrupted Chat. Still annoying and playful while the marked actually pays attention to it but nowhere near as bad as Techno’s chat. I’m thinking that Tommy probably doesn’t even realize they’re there till exile when he’s so desperate for anything to speak with he’d even settle for talking to himself and accidentally opens the door for Chat.)

I’m thinking that maybe we can make the rest of Business Bay(Wisp Included) + Clara, Clementine, and maybe even Boffy into gods that Tommy accidentally befriended along the way. I don’t have any idea what kind of gods Bitzel or Luke should be but I like the idea of Wisp having something to do with death, rebirth, and second chances. Boffy has to have some kind of link with lightning and destruction because it’s Boffy and we all know what he’s done with that blaze rod. Clara is obviously the god of space and the void. Clementine I actually had a really cool idea for. She’s a flaming moth god and one of the two gods who holds the most control of the nether (Deo being the other.) Clara is the main god of the end and the overworld is in a constant state of fluxing control since there are significantly more gods who want to be associated with rulership of it. Very few gods want control over the void so few challenge Clara and the few who do leave terrified. There are a couple war gods who live in the nether but since Deo and Clementine work together nothing can really overthrow them. Dream is younger than the group of gods associated with Tommy but older than a lot of other gods. He’s working his way up to control of the overworld but that currently still belongs to an unknown gods simply named Prime who never shows itself.

And of course because it’s my brand, at one point all of the gods became so worried over the idea of Tommy dying they made him a phoenix. That way he wouldn’t die unless he chose to, decides he’s ready for his next life. They were still worried though. Sure they were Tommy’s friends, but he had other friends and family that he’d lose being immortal. They realized that one day he’d eventually chose to make his current life the last one. None of them could handle the thought though, they didn’t want to loose him. So then they went the extra mile to ensure that Tommy’s soul would always be semi bound to them and he’d be a phoenix in all of his reincarnations (with the ability to access the memories of his prior reincarnation if and only if he so chooses, which he usually does when he crosses paths with his god friends again). The important thing to remember is that they know Tommy doesn’t “belong” to them. He isn’t a pet, isn’t theirs, he belongs to himself alone. The bond isn’t an ownership thing. It’s more akin to a divine version of Tubbo and Tommy’s compasses. It’s just a way for him to always find his way back to them and vice versa. 

Speaking of which, at one point the gods gave him the ability to do something similar. Marking the souls of people he became specifically fond of so he could find them in future lifetimes. So far Tommy has only done this to four people. Techno, Phil, Wilbur, and obviously Tubbo. Tubbo was the first, that was a bond that was made in Tommy’s very first lifetime and the reason the other gods gave him the power in the first place. Techno, Phil, and Wilbur were all done in one go during the Antarctic Empire era because he decided he just really liked this family and would love to be apart of it again some day. Tubbo is someone he always remembers in every lifetime without fail and seeks out regardless. The kids are platonic soulmates, fight me.

Okay. This is evolving way past Blood God Deo. But dang it, we’re rolling with it. 

Maybe each SMP/server is a different reincarnation of Tommy. That’s also why the sbi family dynamic is murky. Phil and Techno are immortals, not gods or even phoenixes per se but they can’t died under normal circumstances. Wilbur and presumably Tommy in their eyes were not. During the Antarctic Empire era it was easy to tell that Wilbur hadn’t inherited the same immortality that his twin brother had from their father. They couldn’t tell when Tommy was born and it was a deeply ingrained part of his nature to hide his phoenix traits, so eventually they just assumed he wasn’t. Wilbur and Tommy eventually started their own countries (Tommy recruiting three other gods to help him kill god) and both eventually passed away while Techno and Phil continued on. Technically, the death of Wilbur and Tommy is what slowly started turning Techno from emperor to Anarchist. He blamed the countries his brothers ran both for killing them as well as shortening the amount of time he had with them.

Phil later adopted Tommy and Wilbur during the current Dream SMP because both were orphans and reminded Phil a startling degree of the first Tommy and Wilbur (hence why he even named them after the two.) Techno refused the dynamic because he was bitter over the fact that Phil was trying to “replace his brothers”.

Wilbur is a rare case where he reincarnated almost just the same and has some scant memories of his life as a prince of the Antarctic Empire. Tommy early on decided to recover all of his memories associated with his Antarctic family and treats Techno and Phil as such. Techno continued to reject “new” Tommy and “new” Wilbur as members of his family which caused a lot tension. Phil kept trying to repair his relationship with Techno while raising Wilbur and Tommy but Techno kept making him feel bad which led to the whole “Techno is the favorite situation”. Since Tommy decided to recover his memories he kind of gets why Techno feels the way he does but is also bitter since he is Techno’s Tommy, he just doesn’t know how to put that into words. It’s made worse by Corrupted Chat which being a creation of Dream that is actively trying to pin Tommy and Techno against one another. Lotta room in this AU for sbi hurt comfort. Don’t worry, eventually there’s a reveal. It just takes a while since Tommy has to be the one to do it or Dream has to out him as a phoenix first.

Maybe the whole Ghostbur situation is because as a phoenix Tommy has some control over the people around him who die. He can return lost lives using his feathers and considering the nature of the gods who adore him he can bring people back from the dead. Unfortunately Dream intercepted this and we got Ghostbur. Maybe later down the road as a plot point, Ghostbur existing somewhere between death and life could have access the memories locked in the deeper part of his soul that are associated with his past lives (as well as the Antarctic Empire) and he could be the one to do the reveal.

Then Dream goes overboard at some point (maybe he threatens to chop off Tommy’s wings or hurt one of his family members) and suddenly we end up with Protective God Deo kicking down Dream’s door.

[miraculous-mare]

Brooklyn Brawl

Hi guys, long time no see! This fic is based on a request I got in January that I’ve been chipping away at for past month or so, which said: how about a dickinette salt fic? the class gets attacked while in Gotham and Marinette who is already dating dick helps fight back in civilian clothes and they end up flirting in front of the entire class and maybe Lila gets exposed because she told people she was dating Robin? Alya and Adrien salt

I changed up some key details, and it’s not so much a salt fic as it is a slightly salty fic. I also based Dick off of Young Justice!Robin from season one since I was rewatching that show when I started writing. I imagine this taking place in an AU where Guardian!Marinette and Bee!Chloe are part of the Team, but use different Miraculi when they fight with them in order to maintain the whole ‘covert ops team’ thing. Marinette uses the cat and Chloe combines the ladybug with the dragon. If you’re asking where Adrien is, I truly have no clue, but I quite like this AU so I might expand on that later. Happy Maribat March, and enjoy! Tagging @mochegato because your comments always push me to write, and I want to say thank you. 

Word Count: 3.7k slightly underedited words

Ever since Marinette walked out of the first year assembly that marked the start of her time in Lycée, she’d been dreaming about her class senior trip. After términale was officially over and she’d sat all her exams, Marinette, along with Mme. Bustier’s class, would be flying to New York City for an entire week. At the time, Marinette couldn’t wait to go shopping with Alya and the girls, to watch Kim and Alix race across the Brooklyn Bridge and maybe even to hold hands with Adrien as they explored Times Square. When Lila joined their class and Marinette’s friendships all shattered around her, she began dreaming of a different week, one she would mainly spend on a bench in Central Park, lost in her sketchbook. Then things changed again, and Marinette became much more acquainted with the US than she ever expected to be at seventeen, mainly due to her… extracurricular activities. As she got off the plane, she hoped she could spend her days keeping her head down, giggling quietly with Chloe as they wandered behind the rest of their class (who were all too preoccupied with Lila’s tall tales to pay any attention to them). If she were lucky (which, regardless of her powers, she new she rarely was), maybe Bast and Lightning Bug would even be able to sneak away for a rooftop run one night, perhaps along with some of their American… acquaintances. 

But, as usual, things didn’t go in Marinette’s favor at all. Rather, Chloe came down with a terrible stomach flu the first night of the trip, and couldn’t join the class on their trip to Brooklyn Bridge. Instead of joking around with her best friend, Marinette was forced to dawdle behind her classmates as they posed for pictures together and clamored to hear of Lila’s latest adventures. Today, she appeared to be recounting the forbidden friendship-turned-love affair between her and Robin, one of the world’s most well-known heroes.

“We met when I was fourteen, before we moved to Paris. My mom was stationed in Gotham.” Yeah, it’s not like all US embassies are in Washington DC, Marinette thought. “He landed on my balcony and it was love at first sight.” You mean back when he was dating Zatanna? Right… “Of course he told me his identity straight away, and taught me how to fight”  Marinette actually let out a scoff at that one— Like Bruce would ever let that slide. “But I’m supposed to keep it a secret. I only told you guys all this because I trust you so much!”

As if on cue, her cronies began to fawn over her the minute she stopped talking, Alya taking it upon herself to scream particularly loudly. Marinette regretted leaving Tikki at home to tend to Chloe, because she really needed a moral compass right now. Instead, all she had was Trixx snarling in her backpack, almost begging Mari to call Lila out. But Marinette Dupain Cheng would not succumb to the whims of a tiny mischievous goddess today, thank you very much. Not when her day had already gone so horribly and pushing Lila would do nothing but worsen it. Not when she had a rooftop date planned for the evening that she would not, under any circumstances, risk compromising. “Staying out of things won’t make anything better,” she muttered to Trixx, “But it might stop them from getting wo—“

Marinette hadn’t finished her sentence when she felt a familiar shiver run the length of her spine. “oh mon dieu…”

Looking up, she watched Killer Frost land on the archway on the far side of the bridge. The woman was staring off into the distance, too preoccupied with what she saw to pay mind to the tourists. Usually, Ladybug would take that as a sign of greater trouble, but Marinette saw it as an opportunity to get civilians to safety. She immediately turned to the nearest person, pulling them aside to explain the issue before instructing him to get as many people off the bridge and to safety as quietly and unobtrusively as possible. As he walked off, she moved to the next person, speaking quietly and moving slowly. The last thing anyone needed was for Frosty to be alerted to her actio— “AHHH! IT’S KILLER FROST!”

Of fucking course Alya had to notice. You’d think after a lifetime of being chased by Akuma, the girl would know not to draw the big bad’s attention. But common sense was not her strong suit, and now Bustier’s class was standing on an otherwise deserted, easily collapsible, bridge, Killer Frost smirking down at them.

“What are you all waiting for?” Mari yelled at her classmates. A couple of them swung around to look at her, but most of them continued to stare. Summoning the authoritative tone she usually preserved for her masked outings, she tried again. “Run!”

That seemed to do the trick. One by one, her classmates came out of their stupor and began following her across the bridge, Mme Bustier close behind. Marinette heard the crackling of ice forming and a soft swish of something sliding across it, but continued to lead her classmates in the other direction. The group was almost halfway back to land, approaching the second archway, when Marinette stopped in her tracks, feeling the ground shake beneath her. Looking up, she saw Mr. Freeze at the end of the bridge, boots clanking with every step towards them. She doesn’t have to look back to know Killer Frost has them trapped from behind.

Marinette looks around, her limited options racing through her mind. Jumping overboard would take too long and was too dangerous. Transforming, even with Trixx, would doubtless reveal her identity. She could alert the team, but Freeze was now staring her down as he levied his freeze ray at her, so she’d have to act fast.

Swinging her arm, Marinette let her bag fall to her side as she ducked. She ripped the zipper open and shoved her hand inside, smashing her thumb against the button as quickly as she could. As she did, she braced herself, certain that Freeze had already fired at her and waiting to be engulfed in ice. But the overwhelming rush of cold never came. Instead, Marinette felt a body land in front of her and heard the hushed gasps and cheers of her classmates. When she opened her eyes, they met Aqualad’s, suddenly stood in front of her and using his water bearers to block Freeze’s attacks.

The minute their eyes met, she felt a soft touch in her mind and memories flooded her senses. She saw Kaldur announce a lead on Killer Frost the ex-sidekicks would have to handle (lest the remainder of the Team get exposed in such a public fight), heard M’gann volunteer to come along as backup in the Bioship. She watched Wally split off to investigate a disturbance while Kaldur took to the river and Dick to the rooftops, hoping to corner the escapee before she started anything they couldn’t stop.

Mari! She heard Miss Martian cry the minute her telepathic bond was fully established, and knew that if she looked up she’d be able to make out the faint outline of the concealed Bioship fluttering above them. You okay?

Now that Kaldur was pushing Mr. Freeze back, she could take a second to regain her bearings. She found her class cowering in the middle of the bridge behind her, heads swiveling around in an attempt the keep track of the fight. Overhead, she found Robin had forced Killer Frost onto the archway again. He kept trying to knock her over with his Birdarangs, swinging from the bridge cables as he went, but she’d dodge them by jumping onto makeshift ice platforms. Whenever he stopped, she’d send flurries of snow at his head. So far, he’d been able to flip and jump out of her way, but Marinette wasn’t sure if he’d be able to last.

Hey! I heard that. Came his voice in her head.

Sorry baby bird. There’s only so many cables, you know?

Marinette could feel his glare on the mind link. Kaldur, she thought, what can I do to help?

Clear the civilians, he grunted, don’t do anything to expose yourself. She watched him block another attack before jumping into action.

“Hey, everyone,” she yelled, waving her hands above her head to gain the class’s attention. “The bridge archway collapse any minute. We need to take cover.” At her words, a majority of the students dispersed, crawling toward the sides of the bridge where they could easily jump into the river if need be. At least Akuma attacks made them sensible. Only Alya remained standing, her phone out as she frantically recorded the fight around her. Mari registered Kaldur mentally cursing at the reporter, then saw Freeze’s attention shift to her through his eyes. Reflexes kicking in, Marinette lunged at Alya, managing to throw them both behind a pillar. Half a second later, a ray of cryogenic liquid shot through the air where Alya had been standing, and Marinette breathed out a sigh of relief. Alya wasn’t as thrilled.

“Bitch! I was filming!” She screeched, frantically checking her phone. She was clutching Marinette’s wrist, nails digging into the other girl’s flesh. “You could have ruined my footage!” Marinette was about to bite back, but Dick’s sparking anger in the back of her head drew her back to the reality. 

“Just film from here,” she muttered. “So you’re not in danger. Besides,” she continued when she noticed Lila crouching a few feet away, “you need to be able to protect your bestie.” That seemed to placate Alya, and she released her grip on Marinette to scoot closer to her friend. Now free to get back on the field, the superhero turned her attention back to Robin, who was still evading Frost’s hits. That is, until Marinette noticed the villain’s aim shift, and she realized what was about to happen a split second before it did. She mentally called out to him, but it was too late: Robin was halfway across the bridge, aiming for a cable, when Killer Frost fired at the edge of the archway on which she stood, where the bridge cables connected. They froze through entirely, and Marinette could hear them reverberate for half a second before they all snapped. Robin, who’d been swinging across the bridge ready to snatch a cable, now came barreling towards the ground. 

As Marinette watched him fall, time seemed to slow down around her. Stretching her leg out, she slid across the half-frozen concrete, arms extended to catch him as he neared the ground. When he landed in her grip, she pulled him back under the archway, out of Frost’s range.

“Wow, I didn’t know such pretty birds fell from the sky!” Her voice, laced with humor, was enough to snap him out of his reverie. She knew Dick didn’t mind heights, but no one liked falling, and she didn’t want him getting to caught up in it. 

“what are you, my guardian angel?” He said wryly, but she didn’t miss the appreciative tone in his voice. 

Marinette scoffed. “Aren’t angels the ones that fall from heaven?” She flashed him a smile, and her toothy grin reminded him more of Bast’s snarl than of Marinette’s quick humor. He almost forgot they were in the middle of battle until Kaldur’s voice rang in their heads.

 I didn’t think I’d have to say this, but you can’t flirt with him in front of everyone! Marinette  rolled her eyes, but her attention flitted back to the fighting around her. Aqualad was pushing Freeze back, but was struggling now that Killer Frost, thinking Robin was down, had begun firing at him from above.

I just wish I could help.

Hold on, Dick thought back, eyes zeroing in on Alya’s camera. The reporter had trained it on the two, and he knew this interaction would be online. Maybe we can give the people a show��

She catches his train of thought easily, though she wont deny the mind link played a role. It’s no sooner she’s agreed than he’s swinging away, angling himself so the camera has a good view of their exchange.

“Thanks for the assist,” he grumbled at her, tone suddenly serious. “But you know I always land on my feet.”

“I thought only cats could do that,” she challenged, “and they eat little birds like you, remember?”

“you talk a big game. Can you fight to match?” He made sure to keep a playful lilt in his voice, if only for the onlookers, and saw Marinette tense convincingly at his words. 

“Of course I can. I just need the right weapon.” She held her hand out expectantly, and Robin, feigning shock, made a show of pulling his cape away, giving her access to his utility belt. Smirking at him, she grabbed the extendable bo staff, turning around to face the fight. “see if you can keep up, baby bird.” And just like that, she dashed away. Not bothering to hide the smile on his face, Robin followed.

As it happened, they’d made it just in time to join the fight. Aqualad, distracted by Killer Frost, had lost track of Freeze, who was now aiming his cold gun at the hero’s back. Robin’s Birdarang managed to knock the weapon out of his hand just in time. From there, the fight ended quickly.

“Hey birdie!” Marinette called, running towards him, “Make me fly.” In his head, she whispered maneuver seven, And he immediately got ready to lift her into the air.

As she launched herself towards Mr. Freeze, she pointed her staff straight down. As she landed, she rammed it straight through his helmet, pushing down until the glass cracked beneath her weight. Marinette pulled away, watching the villain pant for a moment before she realized he couldn’t simply freeze himself like he usually would in these situations. Robin was already on it, grabbing the freeze ray from where it landed and shooting it at the man’s head, saving his life and effectively putting him out of the fight.

Meanwhile, Aqualad had managed to take down Killer Frost, wrapping her in jets of water and sending a surge of electricity through them. The shock was enough to knock her unconscious, and he was in the process of dragging her towards the others. He made a show of looking Marinette over, appearing shocked at the bo staff in her hands.

“I see Robin made a friend,” he commented wryly. Marinette knew she would get a stern talking-to for pulling this stunt, but she figured her classmates were too dumb to make anything of it, and any incriminating evidence posted on the LadyBlog could easily be corrupted by WayneTech. 

“I like to help when I can,” she shot back, just as much sarcasm in her voice. “Though, I have to wonder, don’t these two usually have an accomplice?”

Before anyone could answer, a yellow blur shot past them, and Kid Flash appeared, holding a tied up Captain Cold for them to see. “Indeed they do. Caught this one trying to break into the Star Labs Facility in the City. The others were probably just a distraction.” 

Marinette’s classmates had started to trickle out of hiding once the fight ended. With the arrival of the new hero, they began to cheer, circling the group. Alya pushed past them all, shoving her camera in front of her. Lila, looking more nervous than usual, followed closely behind her. 

“oh mon dieu!” Alya screeched. “You’re all amazing fighters. You did such a good job, even with Marinette in the way.” As she finished speaking, she gave her old friend a disgusted look, and Marinette had to wonder if she truly believed what she was saying or if she was just playing it up for attention. “I’m sorry about her, she doesn’t know how to step out of the limelight.”

“It’s alright,” Robin said, tone harsh.

Calm down, Marinette thought, It’s not worth it. 

He made sure the camera caught his next words. “Marinette actually helped us a lot.” He swung an arm over her shoulder, smirk flashing across his face for all to see. “Besides, it’s not every day you get to fight alongside a gorgeous girl.”

Said ‘gorgeous girl’ blushed a deep shade of red in spite of herself, biting back the urge to kiss him then and there. 

Alya, on the other hand, did not seem to know when to stop. “What? How can you say that about her? Especially in front of your girlfriend!” With that declaration, the class began muttering amongst themselves. Lila tried ducking behind Alya, but the attention was already on her. 

“What are you doing?” Lila hissed. “I told you that was a secret!”

Alya’s eyes narrowed, and she fixed Robin with a determined stare. “Just because he—“ she spat out the word “— doesn’t want people to know about your relationship doesn’t mean he can flirt with other girls in front of you. Or at all, actually. Come on girl, don’t let him treat you like that!”

Robin’s face looked more and more shocked the more she spoke, but before he could respond a peel of laughter broke the air. Kid Flash was doubled over beside him, looking at Alya like she was a comedian. 

“H-her?” He pointed at Lila, still shaking from his laughing fit. “His girlfriend? No way!” Lila stood quietly, eyes downcast, though she had the gall to look insulted at that remark. “No offence, kid, but I’ve seen Robin’s girlfriends, and you’re not really his type. He prefers black-haired, blue-eyed girls, you know? Preferably those who can kick his ass and have some magic powers.” He turned to Marinette, a devious smile on his face.

If you say anything I don’t appreciate, she whispered across the mind link, I will kill you. And I won’t even bother to make it look like an accident.

His eyes widened at her thoughts, but in true Wally West fashion he disregarded all warning and pushed forward. “Kind of like you. You really helped take down Freeze over there?” She nodded harshly, and his grin only widened. “Figures he’s all over you. Robin’s like that with powerful women. If you ever want his number, let me know.” Hearing Wally’s laughter echoing across the mind link did not, surprisingly enough, weaken her resolve to commit murder. 

Perhaps sensing her bubbling anger, Kaldur took the opportunity to step in. “Now that we’ve established that Robin is indeed single, it’s time for us to leave.” His voice, commanding as it always was in battle, captured everyone’s attention. Even the class, though utterly confused at the heroes’ declarations, remained quiet. “The police will arrive soon to take your statements. If anyone is hurt, they’ll be able to direct you to medical help. We apologize for this disturbance, and hope the rest of your trip is less eventful. With that, the superheroes all hefted an ice villain across their shoulders and made to leave. Marinette, realizing she still clutched the bo staff, held it out to Robin. 

“nah, keep it,” he told her, “consider it a thank you.” With a final wink, he disappeared after his teammates. 

Uh, bye Mari, M’gann’s voice echoed in her head. And, good luck with this mess. I can sense a lot of anger here. Call me if you need anything okay?

Thanks, Mari thought back, just before the alien’s touch slipped away and she heard the faint woosh of the bioship flying out of range. When she focused back on the class she found them dead silent, staring at Lila. Marinette noted duly that Alya was still filming

“What?” Lila yelled, trying to keep the panic from her voice. “He had to do that. What would we do if my identity got out, huh?”

Marinette could, and likely should, let these lies slide like she usually would. She should try not to let it get to her, and focus on the evening ahead with her American (and extraterrestrial) friends. But the rush of battle was still flowing through her, and Trixx was very strongly urging her to react, and, really, Marinette Dupain-Cheng did not have half the self control she claimed to possess. So of course, she just had to respond: “Hide your identity from who? The class full of people who obviously already knew about it, given that one of them brought it up first, or his superhero friends who he would have definitely told already, especially if you’ve been dating him in and out of the mask for four years now? Sounds a little odd to me, and I’m still confused about why he would need to flirt with another girl just to hide your relationship. Though I’m sure you have an incredibly logical explanation for all of this, right Lila? Hey, maybe Alya can post it on her blog and people can debate on just how much bullshit you’re spewing” Her voice dripped with sarcasm, and as she finished speaking she quickly turned on her heel, swinging her newly-acquired bo staff over her shoulder and walking off the bridge toward the approaching convoy of NYPD cars. 

Behind her, she could hear her classmates’ angry voices beginning to rise, drowning out Lila’s sputtering excuses. Marinette was no fool, of course— she knew most of them would be back in the liar’s web by tonight. But that didn’t make calling her out any less fun, and now that her days with this class were extremely limited, she figured these small pleasures were worth the backlash. Besides, maybe the encounter would teach Lila to keep her mouth shut for the next few days—and if Marinette was going to think of a way to catch one of the fastest men alive by tonight, she needed the quiet.

Please let me know what you think! this is my first full piece I’m publishing for this fandom and I would love some feedback. I’m trying to write and post Maribat March prompts every weekend, so look out for that as well. PS. If you have a link to the discord or the list of prompts, I would greatly appreciate either. Thanks for reading!

[has-gilgamesh-doneanythingwrong]

SLEEPOVER☆CHAOS

In which my mastersona, Seihai-kun; joins Gudako and Mash for one heck of a fun sleepover!!!

Secrets and hidden emotions are finally exposed! ;)

(naw i just like sleepovers)

Cold, billowing gusts of snow rattled against the glistening window panes; as the mundane, clinically white halls of Chaldea sparkled like brand-new.

Yes.

For the first time in ages, Seihai had volunteered to assist with the cleaning!!

'Well, it was either to help with clean-up or join the servants for a session of group counselling with Kiara...' The mere idea of pouring their heart out to their fellow allies made a cold shiver run down Seihai's spine.

No way in hell did they want to let others know about their inner demons; especially not when he was also attending today's session. To Seihai, that was akin to a recipe for disaster.

And in addition to that, Kiara was eerily perceptive as a counsellor. It'd be IMPOSSIBLE to hide anything from her. Seihai had seen how even Gudako's cheery outer self faltered before Kiara's intelligent wiles.

'It's much more relaxing to clean the place instead.' Resting their vibrant red cornrows onto one of the latest prototype model of the Chaldea Speedmop 2000 (nightingale had an entire stock of them in order to keep chaldea as clean as possible), they sighed.

Life had been a real struggle as of late for Seihai. Lacerating wounds. Ferocious beasts. Storylines bursting at the seams with treachery and Machiavellianism. In other words, the missions were hell. It was tough- unbearable even- to carry on, to keep on pushing forward like Gudako, Mash, the Staff and Servants were; but deep down, Seihai knew that they had no choice but to follow ahead.

However, it grew. A festering, deep pool of regret; self-abasement and shame. Was it really alright for Seihai to be here? Weren't they just a nuisance? Were they even worthy? Did anybody at Chaldea even care about them, anyway? Who could they open up around?

As a horrendous deluge of negative self-talk smashed into Seihai with all the force of a tidal wave; encasing them within a moment of anxiety so painful that they felt as if they were about to drown- a miracle occurred.

'TAP TAP!!!!' Tapping them ferociously on the shoulder, Seihai leapt out of their very skin to face such an intrusive force. "H-HOLY SHIT WHAT THE FUCK- oh, Gudako."

"What do you mean by 'oh Gudako'?!! It's none other than me, Gudako; your beloved homie and most trusted ally!! I was looking for you. Kiara was disappointed that you couldn't make it to counselling today. Told me that she's happy to meet you one-on-one, if you got some extra time." Gudako all but winked, as her golden eyes glimmered mischievously.

'You little shit,' Seihai couldn't help but laugh at that. "Alright, I'll visit her tomorrow. How was the group therapy?"

"Oh, it was awesome! We all had a good laugh, shared our stories and gave each other some support." Gudako was more or less beaming with joy. "It's so nice here, in Chaldea. Everyone's so supportive of one another. There's no shame here, Seihai. I hope you know that."

"Haha, of course I do!" An itchy, aching laugh that was even faker than the fakest of plastics erupted from Seihai's throat. Well fuck, looks like their skills at faking had subsided greatly as of late.

'Oh shit...she's onto me..' Seihai recognized that expression clearly. Gudako's eyes were wide, almost brimming with tears, as her eyebrows arched incredulously.

That only meant one thing- she was finally onto Seihai's bullshit.

"Hey, Seihai. If something's up, tell me! You always listen to me ramble on and on about all of my feelings too. Let it out!" Gudako gives Seihai a friendly shake of the shoulders. "AH!!!!"

"Oh lord, Gudako. What's happened now?" Seihai guffawed softly at Gudako's vibrant pose. "You got a new idea? C'mon let it out!"

"Oi, you're the one who needs to let things out more!!! I am doing perfectly fine, thank you. Well anyway. Seihai?"

"Come with us. Join us on our sleepover tonight. Let's chat, just like old times. You, Mash and I. How does that sound?" Gudako's expression was apprehensive, linking her palms together. "I want to help. If that's okay with you..."

'SHIT, I'M WEAK TO SLEEPOVERS!!! DAMNIT!!' There was something so precious, so special about being privy to the personal thoughts and opinions of others; that Seihai was infinitely weak towards. And a sleepover with Mash and Gudako? Lucky!

Seihai instantly looped their ebony hands with Gudako's scarred palms. "Look, I'm going. You better bring some popcorn and snacks, or I'll drain your room of food, Gudako!" Seihai's joke brought a smile to Gudako's face immediately.

"Hell yeah! I'll see you at 10. You better not flake on me!"

Gudako was most certainly one of the most beloved homies around.

SLEEPOVER TIME!!! (yeet)

Decked in the most casual pyjamas and a pale gray dressing gown, Seihai trooped into Gudako's room with all the force of a warrior. It was time to commence battle!

'ONWARDS I GO!!! YOU'VE GOT THIS ME!!!' Seihai slammed into the door as bravely as they possibly could. 'YEAH BOI! I AM NOT NERVOUS, I AM WORTHY AND AWESOME! I am valid, I've got this!' With an entire array of self-affirmations tucked under their sleeves, they boldly seized their targets.

"Yahoo, beautiful ladies. It's me." Seihai posed languidly, as an excited Mash and ridiculously energetic Gudako ran up to her. "Wow, this is my first time here...nice room you've got, Gudako."

Gudako's room was filled with an array of posters, dvds, cds and technological gear; however neon lights also paraded the walls, giving it a very 'cyber beach party' feel.

"Oh damn, the finest one of them all has arrived." Gudako smirked, swaying from side to side. "I'm glad you came."

"Me too...Senpai was yammering on and on about how she wants you to join in with us more often," Mashu beamed softly, tucking her hands politely behind her back. "Thank you for making it here. Truly. I am very grateful for this."

At this, Seihai's eyes widened with shock. They were so used to being alone; and dealing with everything on their lonesome. So to see these two seem so joyful by their mere arrival came as a deep surprise to Seihai. 'Y-yo...I can't handle this...Shit.' It was time to clam up.

Awkwardly ruffling ruby red locks of hair, Seihai turned to the side. "Don't worry about it, I think you two are great people. So...what have you both got planned for today?"

"Well, senpai and I usually tend to enjoy a good romance movie..." Mash began.

"...And imagine ourselves in their situation as well." Gudako's grin was enormous, as Mash's cheeks flushed ever so slightly. "It's so much fun when we do that. Mash and I have very interesting viewpoints on romance. Hehe." Gudako's expression was wistful and warm, her eyes filled with affection.

'Damn, they've got it bad for one another...' Seihai blankly mused. 'Are they just close friends? Are they in love? Hell if I know,' They wondered.

"B-but, as you're here, we wanted to make things much more simulating for you as well. So we decided to choose a legendary movie..."

"... that's named SHREK." Gudako's face was extremely serious. "The movie that fucking destroys all other movies, because it is just that darn good. What do you say? Want some SHREK TIME??"

"Of course, Shrek is love AND life, after all." Grabbing a huge bowl of popcorn, Seihai sits to the right of Mash and Gudako. "How may times have you watched it?"

"I've genuinely lost count..." Gudako sighed. "How about you, Mash?"

"Only twice...I don't really understand the jokes and references made..." Mash hung her head dejectedly. "Sometimes I wonder if these movies are wasted on me."

"That's not true at all, Mash. I have all the time in the world to explain them to you. You won't be left out, alright?" Ruffling Mash's hair softly, Gudako smiled blissfully.

"Senpai...Thank you. In return, I shall explain all sorts of magecraft theories to you so that you can rise above all of the clock tower mages. I'll be cheering you on!"

"Aah, Mash; what have I done to deserve someone as good as you? C'mere." They were now snuggling closely together.

"Yep, Mash! You heard Gudako. This movie isn't wasted on you at all! All knowledge has to start from somewhere. You may be lost now, but you'll eventually possess enough referential knowledge to enjoy this soon. Be nicer to yourself, okay?" Ah, there it was. Seihai couldn't help but throw out some positive vibes. Worried that they had gone too far, they cringed- only to be met with wide smiles.

"You're so right, Seihai!" Gudako was now caressing Mash's hair. "Hehe, you always give such wise advice."

"Seihai, you're so kind...Thanks." Mash grinned.

"Ah, no problemo! Just didn't want to see you hurt yourself."

As Seihai quietly watched over the two's warm cuddling session, a slight pain twanged at their heartstrings.

In Chaldea, they had no connections as close as that. There was nobody like that for them, whose arms they could be held in; who they could bond with so closely. Nobody who they could cry with in the worst of times; nobody who they could while away the darkest phases of night with...nobody at all.

It had always been them, and them alone.

No matter how many people they connected to on a surface level; how many people they met and spoke to; who they relied upon and trusted within their lifetime- Seihai had never experienced a close bond with anyone.

For the first time in a while, the arid, bitter taste of jealousy clawed across their throat.

'Ah man, they're so cute. Kinda wish I could love and be loved like that too.' Seihai silently watched the movie besides them, as blue rays of light danced upon their face. 'Damn, now I'm mixed between feeling both happy and jealous for them. GUHHHH!!!'

Sometimes... being emotionally distant from others sucked.

But they couldn't let desperation consume them. Whenever they were desperate for friendship and love, they'd let the wrong people in, and would end up even more battered and bruised than before...

'I just gotta keep on being my own pillar of emotional support, no matter how desperate I am for some hugs.' Seihai sighed.

'If this is the price I have to pay to live honorably to my true self, than so be it.'

"So...Mash, Seihai. Let's share some secrets. Have any of you got somebody who you like? Fess up to your dear Gudako!!!"

What was once an extremely loud and rancorous viewing of Shrek (Seihai laughed throughout the entire thing, as Gudako cracked an inane amount of jokes) had now become none other than a GOSSIP SESSION.

'FUCK...' Seihai's face paled at this. Of all the topics to discuss, why did it have to be this??? Whilst Seihai's face was creased up with pure pain and terror, Mash was blushing like a cute tomato.

"W-well senpai, I...You see, I..." Gudako was leaning in so closely towards Mash that she was bordering on pinning her to the wall.

"Hmm, what? What is it, Mash?" Her voice was a husky whisper. "C'mon, tell me who..."

'Bruh. GUDAKO!!! That's not helping at all.' Seihai wanted to facepalm at their antics. 'They really are this dense to each other's feelings, huh.' It was adorable, yet somewhat amusing to watch as well.

"A-AH! I GIVE, I GIVE!!" Pushing Gudako to the side, Mash panted in agony. "S-SEIHAI! WHO DO YOU LIKE??"

"OI, DON'T THROW ME UNDER THE BUS LIKE THAT! WHAT THE HELL!!!" Seihai couldn't help but yell, as a dastardly cold wind dashed through their spinal cord. "Fuck, well okay, there is somebody I like, but..."

"Spear."

'Shit...' Seihai's eyes were as large as saucers, as they spun in Gudako's direction; her smirk pernicious.

Did Gudako KNOW?!

"Looks like Seihai's in a spear of trouble." Gudako winked proudly at them. "Mash, save Seihai the embarrassment. We all know who they like already!"

"T-that's true..." Mash had finally calmed down, much to Seihai's own chagrin. "Yes, we do know."

"How? I mean, should I be worried by this??? How many of you know??" Seihai's arms pooled with cold sweat. "Damn you!"

"More or less the entirety of Chaldea?" Gudako admitted, chowing nonchalantly on a massive pocky stick. "You're not very good at hiding your emotions, you know. Seihai, we in Chaldea understand you much more than you may realize. You can open up a little more, you know?"

Overwhelmed by this, Seihai snaps for the very first time- their hazel eyes burning with repressed rage. "How can you say that, damnit?! How can you understand me, when I mainly hang out alone; when I can barely connect with anybody in Chaldea; when I don't even fucking belong in this damned place??? How can you say that, when I have a fucking useless one sided affection that I've been trying to hide, but everybody now knows of??? How can you say that Gudako??? You don't know shit about me, nor my feelings!!"

At this outburst, both Gudako and Mash's faces soured. Roughly gripping Seihai with her war-torn hands, Gudako shakes them by the shoulders, her golden eyes burning with passion.

"You don't think I see it, Seihai? How you fucking pour out all of your feelings by accident, only to withdraw back into yourself again? How you look longingly over at Mash and I, craving a bond of your own? How you reluctantly look over towards staff and servants, aching to talk to them but not knowing what to do? You don't think I see you crying, see your eyes fill with affection for a certain someone every now and then; that I don't pay attention to your feelings?!! I CARE FOR YOU, FOR FUCK'S SAKE!!! WE'RE FRIENDS, AREN'T WE?!!!"

"S-senpai, stop! Seihai, I'm so sorry, Gudako just gets a bit...well, passionate sometimes." Mash manages to successfully pull Gudako back. "Err, Seihai?"

Tears. A flowing river of tears dropped from Seihai's eyes as they sobbed quietly into their palms.

Gudako cared?

Somebody actually did acknowledge their emotions, and actually looked out for them?

'What, what...It can't be...But I thought that only I could care for myself and understand my emotions that well...How could she?' Before Seihai could even look up, Gudako had wrapped them within a fierce hug.

"Seihai. Look, I don't know what's happened in your past, or what's convinced you to be your sole caretaker and self-support system without letting anybody else in." Gudako ruffles their hair. "But I want you to know, that you're NOT alone. Yeah, maybe you've not found your close homies yet. But Mash and I are happy to hear you out, we all are!! Even the person you like sees you as a friend, hehe. You don't have to worry about hiding yourself behind a mask of peerless positivity and self confidence anymore."

"Gudako..."

"You know, you were there for me when I was crying about having to be strong. And you know, I struggled to open up as well. But yeah, Mash...well she came along, and now I feel so much better! Look, I just want you to not beat yourself up for this. It's okay."

"Gudako, you're gonna make me cry. Damn, you're really hitting me in the feels today. I got a real case of the 'crying in the club at 3am vibes' right now."

"Oi, no making shitty jokes to cope. Here, we show our vulnerability like real warriors!" Gudako declared triumphantly, as Mash laughs.

"Gudako, I swear...you really are a wonderful homie. I'm sorry that I tried to hide away from you...I am so grateful that you care enough to seek me out like this. Thank you."

"H-HOLY SHIT, WE CRACKED OPEN THE COLD ONE. MASH TAKE A PHOTO!"

"Senpai, please stop the joking."

"S-sorry..."

"I'm glad," Mash also sat by Seihai's side. "I just want all of us to be happy. And Seihai, I am sure there are many wonderful beings out there that you may eventually grow close to! You already believe in yourself, which is a great start! I know you won't have to be so lonely anymore!" Lacing her palms together, Mash spoke a prayer. "I wish that someday, you will meet people too. And that you'll stop fighting alone."

"Mash, you're gonna make me explode with tears. You're being so nice right now that I'm going to cry." Seihai blushed.

"You heard her, Mash! Why are you so damn cute, I'm falling in love!!" Gudako was clutching her heart dramatically. "Ahhh....Mash is such a beauty!!! Thank you, for blessing me with such a wonderful person!"

"S-SENPAI!!! STOP!!!" As the two began to pillow fight, laughing all the while; Seihai smiled softly at them both.

'So I'm not fighting alone after all...I'm not the only person who values myself in this world anymore...' Seihai could finally put down the weapons that they had grown so used to aggressively defending themselves with.

From now on, they'd do their best to trust in Chaldea more. And maybe attend group therapy from now on, as well.

'So this is how it feels to open up to people.'

It was an unforgettable sensation.

THE END

holy smokes this is so fucking LONG

[sad-sweet-cowboah]

And I’ll Succumb To You part 2

Part 1

Summary: It’s been nearly a month since you joined the Van der Linde gang. With your next heat on the horizon, you and Arthur set out to find a new bottle of Lilith’s Blessing.

Warnings: Smut, duh. ABO dynamics. And cursing.

AN: THIS CAME OUT TO 10,808 WORDS. Please enjoy ya thirsty hos! I may also make a part 3.

A whole three weeks passed since your life changed. Three weeks since you’d gone from a lone bounty hunter to a part of one of the most notorious gangs in the United States.

You’d been dozing peacefully on the back of Arthur’s horse by the time the two of you reached camp. His low voice aroused you from your slumber as he helped you to the ground. He tied his horse to a hitching post before repeating it with your horse. He then proceeded to remove your things, which you protested and said you could do it, only for him to shake his head and insist.

Arguing would have gotten you nowhere, so you followed him into the surprisingly large camp. A mixture of scents hung heavy in the air. The first thing you’d noticed was the campfire directly in the center, glowing bright orange against the fabric of the tents and dark wood of the wagons. People were sitting around it, and as soon as you got closer, heads turned.

You hadn’t expected such a big welcome.

Arthur had placed you in the care of the camp girls. A small group of them you found were excited to take you in. Karen and Mary-Beth were both Omega and thankful to have another in camp to bond with. Abigail was another Omega who had her hands full with a child of her own. Tilly was a Beta, though did not look down upon you which you were thankful for. Molly, another Beta, you found kept more to herself and greeted you politely before wandering toward one of the more extravagant tents. You also soon found they had a ringleader: A woman named Susan Grimshaw, the only female Alpha you’d ever met in your lifetime. Female Alphas were about as rare as a male Omega, and simply being in her presence was both awesome and overwhelming.

After they’d set up your bedroll underneath a hanging tarp next to a wagon, you were introduced to the others. The men, a mix of both Alpha and Beta. Dutch Van der Linde, the leader, was an Alpha and wary about your presence given your reputation. However after speaking with his right-hand man, Hosea Matthews and Arthur, Dutch begrudgingly accepted you as a new member.

Over time you’d gotten to know the rest. The others were…colorful characters, if you could call them that. They were a group of misfits from wherever just trying to get by in life in any means possible. If it meant robbing folk or doing good deeds.

It took a while for you to leave by yourself, due to Dutch’s orders. You were confined to camp for the first week with unseen eyes on you. Then began the small tasks, going into town for a grocery trip or hunting usually accompanied by someone else. You couldn’t complain, it was something to do and kept food in your belly. Once Dutch began to realize you weren’t going to turn on them, he began to send you out for bigger missions alongside the girls or the other men.

Today however, was a different. You’d woken up to the sounds of movement around you. Opening your eyes, you’d watched as Mary-Beth packed things into her satchel. The others were bustling around more than usual amongst the camp, moving sacks of supplies toward the horses. It confused you, wondering if it was possibly time to switch locations. However, you realized it was only a few people, a few people specifically. It was then when an all too familiar scent wafted into your nose: the heat of the other Omegas.

Karen and Mary-Beth had left with Susan and a few others, mentioning they’d be half-day’s travel away. Hosea explained they would be protected by the Alphas and Betas while they chose how to sate their desires, if it meant finding someone else to help or taking care of it by themselves. Abigail, you found, stays behind for the sake of Jack after obtaining some Lilith’s Blessing. She grumbled about how his father wouldn’t be competent enough to fill in as a parent for a week in her absence.

With the camp emptier, it felt both strange and relaxing. You kept yourself busy by helping the others run errands or fulfill other missions in the meantime.

A couple of days passed, you’d come back to camp after aiding John and Javier in a burglary. It fairly late then, the sun low in the sky and casting red hues amongst the surrounding woods. Your horse was sweaty and tired, so you untacked her and began to brush her damp coat.

The sound of twigs snapping caught your attention, and you turned to see Arthur walking past. He caught your eye and smiled politely, giving you a short wave before turning his attention forward. You’d returned the gesture before turning back to your horse, although your mind began to wander.

You two really hadn’t spoken about your encounter. You’d mutually agreed to not mention it to the others to avoid any awkward questions. You and he however barely spoke after that. The first few days in camp he would check in and see how you were adjusting. He’d greet you in the mornings and bid you a good night when turning in, or sit next to you at the campfire with idle chatter on some nights. He was usually busy anyway, often gone on missions or hunting trips. As the weeks passed by, he would intrude your thoughts and dreams.

Sure, he was handsome. Additionally he was sweet and showing a surprisingly soft side. The way he spoke to the girls and treated the others in camp was a stark contrast from the man that once intimidated you in Big Valley just weeks ago. How gentle he was with Jack melted your heart at times. Despite his Alpha nature, he never used his position to abuse the power he had over others. He was, after all, third in command. He was a decent man. More than decent actually. Sometimes you’d catch yourself staring at him for a second longer than intended. You also could have sworn you caught him gazing at you on more than one occasion, though his eyes would quickly avert when you did a double-take.

You breathed out a heavy sigh, leaning forward to plant your forehead against your horse’s neck. Surely you shouldn’t be falling for him, it seemed silly to even consider.

Someone called your name. You stood up straight and saw Tilly walking up to you out of the corner of your eye. You turned to face her, offering a smile to her. “Hey Tilly.”

“Hey Y/N. Mind if I speak with you?” she asked.

You nodded. “Of course, what is it?”

“Well…” she stepped up to your horse, offering the tired steed a carrot, whose ears perked up immediately and greedily munched the snack straight from Tilly’s hand. “Have you given thought on what you’re going to do with your heat?”

You blinked. “My heat?” you repeated. “I don’t know…” Your unused tonic had soured and you hadn’t had the time to seek out the market for a new one. You supposed you could make an attempt and ask Abigail where she received hers.

“Are you going to have Arthur again?” Tilly asked simply.

You blinked and spluttered, taken aback by her words. “Wha-how did you know?”

Tilly’s lips stretched into a knowing smile. “Could smell him on you when we got close to ya, and not cause you was sharing a horse.”

You bit your lip shyly, turning your head away. “It was just a one-time thing,” You huffed, keeping your voice low. “He and I just met and…well… it was just the wrong place at the wrong time,” you of course never told anyone that you were hunting him, and he also kept his mouth shut about that.

“You sure? Cause I’ve seen the way you stare at one another across camp. Seems like there’s something else going on, thought you’d ask him when the time comes.”

“Yes, I’m sure,” you mumbled. “I’m just gonna ask Abigail where she got her Lilith’s Blessing. Should be easy enough.”

“Alright. Just let Miss Grimshaw know when she returns about what you plan on doing in case things go south,” Tilly replied before she reached over to pat your shoulder, and headed back to camp.

---

With the sun rising bright and early through camp, you planned your day ahead of time. Abigail mentioned she purchased the tonic from a seller in Emerald Ranch, a place you were familiar with and was just a few hours’ ride away. You’d gathered a few supplies needed and saddled up your horse. You mentioned to Tilly your whereabouts just in case anyone asked.  It had been a while since you’ve gone on a journey by yourself.

You hoped you would have just a simple trip to get what you need and come back without a hitch.

Just as you tightened the cinch, and heard a voice from a few feet away.

“Where you headin’ off to?”

Of course it was Arthur. Your heart skipped a beat once you recognized him. Your arms fell to your sides and you turned to face him. His hands were gripping his gun belt with one hip slightly cocked to the side. You had to admit to yourself you loved when he grabbed his gun belt like that, as if it were a subtle way to exude his power. His face held an expectant expression.

“I’m…heading to Emerald Ranch,” you explained. “See if I can get my hands on some Lilith’s Blessing.”

Arthur nodded in understanding. “You, uh, close?”

“Still a few days off, I think. Which is why I’m heading out now,” you answered while turning back to your horse and preparing to mount on. As you pulled yourself up, you heard Arthur speak again.

“Mind if I join ya?”

You swung a leg over and seated yourself comfortably in your saddle, and then looked down at Arthur. You couldn’t fathom a reason why he’d go. Perhaps as protection? Sometimes Lilith’s Blessing sellers were more untrustworthy than others, but you could handle yourself regardless. However, there was no reason for him not to go. Finally you said, “Sure, come on then.”

Arthur didn’t take long to grab his own satchel before mounting his horse and coming up alongside you. You two rode together silently through the woods for the first few minutes until he spoke.

“So, how you likin’ it so far?” he asked curiously.

“Well it’s different,” you answered, turning you gaze up to the patches of sunlight that shone through the leaves above. “I like being somewhere where our statuses don’t matter. Feels like I’m a part of a family for the first time in a long time.”

“That’s what’s important,” Arthur rumbled. “We take care o’ one another as you saw. Glad you’re fittin’ in too.”

You nodded in response. Up ahead the forest gave way to a field, the blue sky expanding across the green landscape. As the two of you crossed the tree line, your gaze wandered over to him. His body was slightly hunched over on his horse while you loped graciously across the landscape. His forearms were bare, the sun shining brightly on his skin. His tightly corded muscles angled in the light, thick and strong. Your eyes shifted to observe the rest of his body. You’d never actually seen him naked, however you remembered how felt against you. Warm and strong and solid.

“Hey, you alright?” he suddenly asked. You blinked back into focus and saw him staring right at you.

You’d nearly flinched from being caught, and turned your head back to face straight. You couldn’t let yourself fantasize over that, not like it would ever happen again anyway. You’d fallen silent for the rest of the ride, only speaking once or twice and keeping the conversation short.

You reached Emerald Ranch by early afternoon. You’d stopped briefly to eat a quick meal before going about your business. It was a small place, full of Betas like most towns were. You’d never felt uncomfortable here.

“Where do we find what we’re lookin’ for?” Arthur asked you, casually walking beside you.

You tilted your head toward one of the barns. “The fence behind there, he keeps tabs on the local sellers.”

He nodded in response, keeping in step with you as you headed to your destination.  Up ahead you could see a small caravan of people both on wagons and horseback rolling through. The scent hit you first however, the overwhelming Alpha musk carrying with the breeze.

Out of the corner of your eye, Arthur stepped even closer, placing his body between you and them in an almost protective manner. His hand hovered over your lower back, so close the heat radiated from his skin was felt through your shirt. He kept you closer to the side as the others passed, his eyes never leaving them.

Once they were a good distance away, Arthur stepped away to his previous space. You looked at him, noting how tight his jaw was clenched.

“Arthur?”

He looked down at you. “Eh, sorry. Jus’ wanna make sure they didn’t get any ideas…”

“They wouldn’t have smelled me yet, I’m not close enough to my heat,” you pointed out.

“I know. But jus’ in case,” he murmured.

You looked at him for a second longer, curious as to why he was so keen on protecting you at that moment. Then again being in a blended gang probably meant he had to fulfill the same role for the other Omegas. You decided to not question it further and continue on.

The fence was in the spot he always was, a little shack nestled at the end of the barn. Arthur still remained at your side, though stepped back slightly to allow you to do your business. The fence locked eyes with you as you approached him, a dry smile crossing his face.

“Haven’t seen ya in a while,” he said casually.

You nodded in response, stepping closer to lean in. “Darkness is a blessing in disguise, ain’t it?” you murmured, using one of the few phrases known for discussing the tonic in public.

The fence frowned slightly. “Sorry, it’s all sunshine here,”

Your heart sank immediately. It meant that the seller in question had left. “Er, do you know when the sun sets?”

“Can’t say I do, miss,” he responded while shaking his head. “I ain’t no time teller.”

You sighed in frustration, turning to Arthur with a sour look on your face. You gestured for him that it was time to go, and he nodded wordlessly, confusion crossing his own face.

He waited until you were out of earshot of anyone close by before he said anything. “What was that about?”

“Seller ain’t here,” you grumbled, storming up to your horse and yanking the reins from the post with more force than necessary. “And he didn’t know where they went.”

“Oh,” was all he said in response. You saw him chew on his lip out of the corner of your eye as he went to mount his own horse. “Er…y’know anyone else that might know?”

“No,” you huffed, urging your mare into a smooth canter. “That’s the thing. They move around without any word on where they go next. They leave clues for Omegas to find, but I don’t even know where to start looking.”

Arthur hadn’t replied, and the two of you rode in silence across the green expanse of the Heartlands. The fourth week was soon, and you knew your heat would be quick to follow. You didn’t have days to run around trying to find something that may not be there in the first place.

If only you could find a clue, or pick up at least the tiniest hint of a trail. Most sellers were Betas that didn’t have unique scent markers like an Omega or Alpha would, which made it easier for them to avoid unwanted company. They were very rarely in the same place twice. Had you been on top of this, you would have taken care of this issue before it was even an issue.

Would you have to resort back to your old ways of pleasuring yourself, leaving you not so quite satiated? Arthur told you there were alternative methods of your choice. You knew Karen was keen on bedding someone to relieve hers while Mary-Beth opted to keep to herself. Neither sounded pleasant to you.

A flash of memory crossed your mind. That night with Arthur…the way your body so readily accepted him. You were inebriated by your own desire then, clouded by the temptation of his musk and the swell of his knot. It was as if you were given the best meal of your life after being fed gruel.

What a dangerous sensation to chase.

You sighed and shook your head. It certainly won’t happen again. You couldn’t risk giving yourself to anyone like that ever again.

“What do ya plan to do?” Arthur interrupted your train of thought, breaking the long silence.

Hell, you still weren’t sure at that point. “I don’t know,” you groaned, clenching the reins in your fists hard. “I used to…just do it myself. Suppose that’s what I’ll have to do again.”

“But that don’t take it all away, right?” Arthur pressed.

“Never. It’s never enough…” you trailed off, pursing your lips. There was a curve in the road ahead, and the two of you slowed down.

Arthur took the opportunity to step his horse closer to yours. “Unless you…” he muttered, trailing off.

You nodded, answering his unasked question. Your memory was once again taken back, vividly reminiscing the way his hands held you, the way he was careful to move you before his knot released. It was nature’s intention to put an Alpha and Omega together. Those few moments of sweet bliss, as if you two were meant to be one… “Never knew how it felt like until you came along.” you turned your eyes to him, noting the look of interest he had on changed to surprise.

“Wait, I was your first?” he exasperated. When you nodded again, he brought his hand to his face, rubbing it as he let out a groan. “Christ… ‘M so sorry, that jus’ makes me feel worse…”

“Worse?” you repeated.

His gaze met yours with a solemn, shameful stare. “Didn’t even know you was a virgin. Takin’ somethin’ like that away from ya in that moment…”

You sighed heavily. That never mattered to you in the slightest, especially when the last thing on your mind was mating with someone. “Didn’t matter then, doesn’t matter now. Besides, we’re both guilty anyway.”

Arthur appeared as if he were going to say something else, instead he shook his head and sighed. “Maybe we can find, uh…another seller? There’s more than one, right? They gotta be ‘round somewhere.”

“Sure but not many,” you grumbled. “Arthur, I appreciate the help, but we ain’t gonna find one before my heat. I know that much. Like I said, they move around without much word.”

“You dunno that for sure,” he pointed out. “It’s worth a try.”

“Why are you so determined on finding one?” You asked, giving him a look. “Not like you’d get any benefit from it.”

“Jus’ wanna make sure you get what ya need,” he answered. “I know how much ya hate your heats.”

That little slip of truth in that moment, you remembered. You felt flattered that he’d come such lengths to try, yet at the same time it seemed unnecessary. Despite what happened between the two of you, neither of you had an obligation to one another. “You don��t have to, you know,” you pointed out.

“I know,” he murmured, so quiet you had to strain to hear him through the rhythmic hoofbeats and the wind whipping your face. “I jus’ thought I try to help ya this time. If you don’t want it, then I’ll head back to camp. Your call.”

You blinked in surprise. In truth you weren’t exactly sure what you’d expected with Arthur coming along. You were resigned to the idea of riding out your heat by self-pleasuring in a cabin somewhere. However, his determination refused to wither. He wanted to help you. He went out of his way just to make sure you purchased the tonic. You admired his persistence. Maybe with his help, it could be possible. You eventually responded with, “I guess we can try. But the moment I start feeling it, we need to stop.”

Arthur looked at you for a moment, and nodded in understanding. “Sure.”

—

You started in Valentine, a knowing there could be some people milling about with information. Mere droplets were shared, only learning of rumors and tales rather than anything concrete. There had been a seller there just a day before, but with no direct route of passage of where they went next. From what you gathered, the seller was headed either to Annesburg or Saint Denis. East as a general direction that also meant adding a day’s worth of travel after having traveled in the opposite direction.

You and Arthur left just as the sun was setting, casting beautiful warm hues across the Heartlands. He was hasty with his departure, ensuring there was as least time as possible in getting to your destination. The two of you decided to tackle Saint Denis first, hoping to pick up leads in a more densely populated area before moving on to Annesburg if needed.

The night grew later and your eyelids began to grow heavy. You’d just passed the state line into Lemoyne, the air much warmer and more humid than the clear atmosphere of New Hanover. The heat that surrounded you like a blanket was not helping your fatigue. When you yawned widely, Arthur decided to set up camp.

Soon you found yourself sitting in front of a small fire. Arthur found a small clearing surrounded by a few trees far enough from the road to not draw too much attention. After setting up your respective tents and getting a fire going, he left to hunt and assured you he would be near enough in case there was any trouble. You hadn’t been sitting by yourself for very long, and you let yourself succumb to your thoughts.

Saint Denis was just a half a day’s worth of travel from where you were right now. You hoped you could find better answers there. If not, then it would take almost another day to make it up to Annesburg. Arthur mentioned you two could take the train to save some time. A practical idea, but you were hoping it wouldn’t be needed.

You always had a good grasp of when your heat would start. However, you were beginning to grow anxious on how close it was cutting. Unlike before you were not afraid to confront it without the tonic now, but having it possibly start in unfamiliar territory was daunting.

The sounds of grass rustling caught your attention, and you smelled Arthur before you could see him. He appeared out of the darkness, hands laden with a few rabbits. He caught your gaze and offered you a half-smile.

“Doin’ alright?” he asked.

“As well as ever,” you answered, sitting up and watching him begin to skin the rabbits. “How about you?”

Arthur’s eyes swiveled back to you, a momentary look of faint confusion crossing his face before he focused back to the meat. “I’m alright I guess.” After managing to section the meat, he stuck some on his knife and knelt down over the fire.

It took a few minutes for the meat to finish cooking. The savory smell wafted to your nose and your stomach rumbled. Arthur handed some pieces to you, and you began to munch on them gratefully. It wasn’t a full meal but it was enough to keep you sated until tomorrow.

Besides the crackle of the fire and the sounds of nature surrounding you, it was quiet. You were staring into the dancing flames, letting your mind wander once again. Your fatigue was beginning to settle after sitting for so long and you were prepared to turn in for the night. You lifted your head to tell Arthur, only to find him staring at you.

His reaction was just a second too late, turning his head away and awkwardly clearing his throat. You blinked. “Something wrong, Arthur?”

“Er, nothin’,” he mumbled. “Sorry.”

It only occurred to you then it was the first time that you were alone with him since that fateful night. You wondered what was going through his mind at the moment. Was he too thinking back to it? You remembered the conversation you had earlier, how he felt ashamed of taking your innocence. You supposed an otherwise hardened outlaw would not care about a woman’s virtue. But he did.

You also realized that you didn’t really know much about him past the outlaw life. Almost a month living in the same camp together and he was still a stranger to you. Contemplating on picking his brain a little, you scooted slightly closer. Your movement aroused him and he offered a look of curiosity.

“What’re you thinking about?” you asked lightly.

His gaze broke from you, a small shrug on his shoulders. “Nothin’ in particular, why?”

“Just curious,” you admitted. “Quite frankly…I don’t know much about you.”

He scoffed at your response, his eyes rolling in the golden light. “I ain’t a man worth knowin’, especially after what I done.”

You frowned slightly. “I know your ledger ain’t the cleanest-”

“I meant with you,” he interrupted. “I know you said it don’t matter, I just can’t help feelin’ guilty over it still.”

You breathed out a heavy sigh. “Arthur, we were both guilty. I was the one who lured you in, remember? Wouldn’t have happened if I didn’t go after you in the first place.”

“Shouldn’t have fallen for that trap,” he chuckled without humor. “But I took advantage of you…your heat... I can hold myself together around an Omega, but somehow…”

As he trailed off, you nodded in understanding. An Alpha’s rut was almost as difficult as an Omega’s heat to ride through. Only older and more seasoned Alphas were able to achieve it. Arthur shared a camp with Omegas, so you could see how he’d learn to contain himself.

You bit your lip, suddenly feeling guilty as well. Your own temptations had tested his breaking point only to smash it to pieces. “Jesus, I had no idea. I’m sorry.” You murmured.

Arthur looked at you again, his expression hard to read. His lips twitched slightly before he spoke. “Ain’t your fault, Y/N. My own for lettin’ myself get to that point o’ no return.”

“It’s still on both of us regardless, no matter which way you spin it,” you pointed out. “What happened has happened, can’t fix that now. We just have to keep moving on.”

“I guess,” he sighed.

It once again fell silent between the two of you. Your gaze fell back to the now dying fire, the embers glowing faintly against the earth. The indigo and cobalt expanse of the sky was slowly engulfing you. Thoughts began to stir in more curiosity. It was the most you’ve talked about it, and somehow it felt more awkward than burying it with your memories. You supposed it was better to speak about it than not.

“We should turn in for the night,” he spoke again, moving to stand up. As you got to your feet as well, he kicked out the remainder of the fire and shrouding you both in near-total darkness.

As your eyes adjusted, you could see his gleaming in dim. He was staring at you again for a beat longer before turning to face his tent. “Goodnight, Y/N.”

For the briefest of a second you could feel the brush of his fingertips along the bare skin of your forearm as he passed by. A simple quick touch that sent sparks through you. It was so quick and sudden you assumed it might’ve been an accident.

Or was it?

A large yawn instead took your thoughts to your bedroll. Bidding him a goodnight just as he disappeared into his tent, you made your way toward your own.

---

The early morning sun peering through the slits of your tent aroused you from your restful, dream-filled sleep. You sat up slowly, rubbing the last dregs of fatigue from your eyes. As your body became more aware, the low crackling of a fire outside caught your attention. You crawled forward and opened your tent to see Arthur sitting in front of the fire. His attention was on the leather journal in his hands. He seemed to be writing something down, not having noticed you yet.

You’d seen that journal a few times before. You wondered often what he wrote in it. As you crawled out of the tent and into the dim morning light, only then did Arthur look up and close his journal.

“Mornin’,” he rasped, his voice just slightly sleep-touched while he reached for a coffee pot and cup off to the side. He poured some into the cup and held it out. “How’d you sleep?”

You thanked him with a smile and grasped the cup in your hands. The cool metal began to warm instantly and you took a sip. Bitter and hot, it was an unusually welcoming feeling in your dry mouth. “Pretty decent. How about you?”

He shrugged slightly in response before he placed the journal in his satchel. “Can’t complain. Anyway, we’ll be headin’ off once you’re done with that. Sound good?”

You nodded while taking another sip. Leaving soon meant you’d reach Saint Denis by either late morning or early afternoon, and left you a good amount of time to start asking around. Once you finished your coffee, Arthur helped you break down your tent before tending to his own. Once the site had been completely devoid of everything, you were on the road again.

With the air becoming more humid and hazy, it were as if each breath you took was like inhaling water. Through the thickness of the atmosphere, the buildings of Saint Denis unveiled ahead. You’d reached the cobblestone streets by high noon, the sun disappearing above the smog. Both a beautiful and intimidating city, you were both hopeful and determined your search would end here.

You and Arthur agreed to split up to cover more ground. He knew you were perfectly capable of handling yourself after learning your reputation. However it did not stop him from being apprehensive. Before you set off, he asked you to dismount your horse. You did so, about to question as to why when he dismounted his to stand in front of you, and he tugged the black bandana from around his neck to hold out to you.

You stared at it in confusion, before turning your eyes to him.

“Keep my scent on ya, just in case anyone gets any ideas.” He explained.

“I don’t need-” you began, yet the look on his face stopped you in your tracks. True concern. You knew what he was trying to do; an Alpha sometimes would scent mark their mates by having them wear an article of clothing, an added layer of protection to ward off any rival Alphas if they were ever separated. He wasn’t trying to claim you, though. He had a good reason to make sure you were guarded. You weren’t too familiar with Saint Denis, but you knew there was a considerable amount of Alphas here. Without another word, you took the bandana from his hands and wrapped it around your own neck. His scent wafting off the fabric filled your nose.

A small smile of relief crossed his face. “Thank you. Alright, let’s meet by the train station in four hours,” he said, mounting back on his horse. “Be careful.”

You nodded to him, climbing onto your mare. “You too, Arthur. See you in a few hours.”

And in those few hours you’d discovered absolutely nothing.

Your frustration only grew as you moved down the streets and through the alleyways, finding the more questionable of people to ask. To your dismay they wouldn’t know or they avoided the question entirely. Some answers had you tracing back to Valentine or Emerald Ranch. Your head was absolutely spinning with the lack of direction, but you didn’t want to give up just yet.

After a few hours of dead ends and misleadings, you’d found hopefully one more lead.

You had around fifteen minutes before meeting Arthur back at the train station, and the last place you decided to try was a saloon on the seedier part of the city. The building itself appeared run-down, and the faint smell of urine lingered on the walls. You crinkled your nose and pushed the door open, coming upon a scene that wasn’t unfamiliar to you.

Drunken fools slurring and giggling in their seats, tipping half-empty bottles of beer and whiskey to their loose lips. An abundance of Betas with a few Omegas mixed in. Surely someone here could be persuaded through their inebriation.

You approached another Omega who seated herself in the corner, her cheeks rosy and her eyes half lidded as her distant gaze met yours. She clutched an amber bottle in her hand. You offered her a polite smile and sat across from her.

“Hello,” you greeted.

“H-hey, sugar,” she slurred, the smell of whiskey strong on her breath. “W-wanna have a good time?”

“No,” you answered immediately. “Listen…I’m in search of something. Something that would help…people like you and me.”

The woman blinked at you with an absolutely dumbfounded expression. “I…I ain’t sure whatchoo talkin’ about! Whuh-what?”

You sighed and closed your eyes to keep your composure. This seemed like a good idea just a minute ago. “A certain…tonic,” you leaned in and dropped your voice. “Ya know…a blessing in disguise.”

She hiccupped heavily, frowning as her fogged gaze turned away from you. She doubled over and held her stomach, promptly stumbling off her stool and heading to the exit. As she disappeared through the door, you heard the unmistakable sounds of retching and you sighed. So much for that.

You turned to look around, hoping you’d catch someone else that could tell you. There weren’t too many other Omegas, and each and every one seemed to be as inebriated as the previous. Perhaps this wasn’t such a good idea as you thought. You instead decided to leave, the smell of fresh alcohol vomit filling your nostrils as you exited into the hazy afternoon air. The poor girl was off to the side, moaning in pain next to her puddle of shame. You just kept walking, looking around for your horse. The mare had wandered off and your lips formed to whistle for her when another smell overtook your senses.

Alpha. A scent unlike Arthur’s but heavier and…rancid. Your nose crinkled and you hastened your steps. As you passed by an alleyway, a silhouette appeared and made its way toward you.

“Heard you were lookin’ ‘round for some Lilith’s Blessing,” a voice rumbled from the silhouette, who moved to step in behind you.

You kept your cool despite a small bubble of anxiety rising in your stomach. You’d dealt with Alphas like him one too many times before. “Bet you’ve heard many things in this city,” you countered, keeping your sights forward.

“I just thought it was strange…for a claimed Omega to be askin’ for such a thing when her Alpha should be takin’ care of her,” he continued as if you hadn’t spoken. He was still right behind you, too close for comfort.

You turned around to face him. Much taller than you as expected, wearing clothes that would easily cost you an entire month’s worth of bounties to achieve. He had a gleam in his eye that you did not trust. “What I do with my Alpha is none of your concern.” You hissed with a scowl. “Please leave me alone.”

“Ah, I don’t think so,” he growled, his arms quickly reaching out to you. You’d anticipated this and stepped back, bringing your own arm to swing a punch directly to his face. The distinctive and satisfying crunch of his nose breaking beneath your fist was enough to bring him to his knees. He yowled in pain, followed by expletives you cared to not repeat.

You turned on your heel and sprinted down the street. Your feet hit hard against the cobblestone as you sought to push as much distance between him and you as possible. You turned a corner and another, hoping that if he recovered, he would lose track of you that way. You weaved through random pedestrians, their sounds of shock and surprise falling on deaf ears. You only stopped when you’d ended up in an alley.

You were breathing hard, leaning against a wall in attempts to catch your breath. You had to find your way to the train station from here. Arthur surely would have reached there by now and was probably wondering where you were. Maybe he’ll come looking for you, though it was such a vast city you weren’t sure if that was possible. Hopefully you could ask someone for directions.

As your breath evened out and your heart stopped hammering, you straightened up again. Just before you began to move however, a tightening below your navel made its presence. A sensation you were all too familiar with. Your heart dropped to your stomach. Shit.

It was a little too early for this.

You had to find Arthur and high-tail it out.

You made your way back to the street and whistled loudly, hoping your horse was close enough to hear you. Others in the area turned their heads toward you, and you hoped it was because of your whistle and not the other reason.

You waited for a full minute, and nothing. Huffing in frustration, you headed to the first person you saw and asked for directions to the train station. Thankfully you learned it wasn’t too far away, and not in the direction of the Alpha who attempted to assault you. You hurried in the direction they told you, keeping your pace fast and your eyes forward.

The further you went, the more eyes were upon you. You hastened your steps again, knowing you had caught the attention of more than one Alpha in the area. The scent on Arthur’s bandana was beginning to fade.

The presence of others on your tail made you hyperaware. They were far back enough for you to slip out of sight, favoring to move in between buildings. You knew the general direction of the station and hoped you wouldn’t get turned around again. You were closer, possibly a few blocks away from what you were told. The steady breeze was moving with you.

As you approached the opening to another street, a large body stepped into your way. You skidded to a halt, eyes widening as the Alpha musk once again enveloped you.

“Omega…” he growled, his eyes flashing brightly. You ducked his opening arms, quickly skirting around him impressively in such a narrow space before darting forward.

Out into the open street, you managed to weave between horses and wagons. A train whistle sounded through the crowd, signaling that you were close. You put on a burst of speed, sprinting down the street with the train station clear ahead. You heard the Alpha behind you, his low snarl ripping through the crowd. You prayed Arthur was there waiting.

The Alpha grew closer, his larger body and longer strides were able to catch up to you in nearly no time at all. The busy street had only given you a slight headstart. You willed your legs to go faster, but the ache settling deep in your muscles told you that you weren’t able to.

He was just feet behind you.

Panic began to settle in.

You were ready to meet your inevitable fate when the sounds of hoofbeats appeared behind you, thunderous and quick, you heard the metal of the horseshoes skidding to a stop across the cobblestone.

“Back off,” a familiar – and welcoming – voice growled. You spun around to see Arthur on his horse, effectively blocking the Alpha from you. “She’s mine.”

The other Alpha snarled. You couldn’t see what happened next, only heard the connection of Arthur’s boot to his body. A grunt of pain was quick to follow, accompanied by the heavy thud of his body on the ground. It was only then did Arthur turn to look at you.

“Come on,” he huffed, gesturing to the back of his horse. You did not have to be told twice, jumping up onto the stallion was the quickest you’ve ever mounted a horse. As soon as your arms wrapped around his torso he took off.

Your heart hammered wildly in your chest as you kept your eyes forward. The train station was dead ahead. “Arthur-” you breathlessly uttered. “We can’t go to Annesburg. My heat-”

“I know,” he interrupted lowly. “I smelled it this mornin’.” Instead of heading toward the train, he veered off to the right and followed the tracks opposite of the way the train was facing. Residential buildings gave way to factories and stockyards, meaning you were nearly out.

A familiar whinny caught your attention. You turned your head and saw your mare running toward the both of you, and you sighed in relief.

---

The two of you rode out of Saint Denis without any trouble, heading westward toward Rhodes. Arthur however kept on the paths away from any sort of civilization, that of which you were grateful for. The longer you rode, however, the worse the pressure in your belly became. His scent wafted around you, prodding you further towards the peak of your heat. It wouldn’t be much longer before you were coated in your own slick and unable to move in his presence.

You gave him a warning, hoping he too would be able to compose himself like he said he could. He stopped deep in the woods, close to a stream where you were able to temporarily quench the burning in your throat. Arthur was quick to set up your tent, though keeping himself at a safe distance to not inhale your ever-growing scent of temptation.

It was only twilight by then, though appearing darker underneath the canopy of the trees. Your skin was already damp from the humidity, yet the presence of your slick was beginning to soak through your bloomers. You took a deep breath and looked at Arthur, tugging away the bandana from your neck and holding it out to him. He took it, carefully not allowing his fingers to brush yours.

It’d been quiet between the two of you when you stopped. You finally broke the silence. “Arthur, you can leave me,” you said to him. “I know my scent can’t be too friendly on you.”

He looked at you with a slight frown and a furrowed brow. “I ain’t leavin’, Y/N. Gotta make sure you’re safe.”

His refusal surprised you and simultaneously fluttered your heartstrings. You weren’t sure how to feel about his response. “We’re not close to any towns or-”

“Don’t matter. You know exactly how far your scent can travel.” He said knowingly. “Can’t risk that, so you do what you gotta do. I’ll be out here.” He gestured to the forest that surrounded you.

You sighed heavily. There was no arguing with Arthur, that you learned after having caught wind of his conversations with others. It wasn’t a situation you were foreign to either. In your younger days you’d learned to pleasure yourself in the presence of others who were close by to keep a lookout. You would tune it out and become lost in your own thoughts.

Time to visit the past.

You nodded to him and turned toward your tent. As you entered it you listened to his footsteps grow distant. You took a deep breath and lay on your bedroll, allowing your mind to succumb to your heat.

You closed your eyes and unbuttoned your shirt. Your wandering hands rolled up your chemise to explore your bare skin. You were hot and damp to the touch, and your nipples were already puckered. It’d been so long since you’d done this to yourself that you almost missed it. Almost.

Your pants were next, the denim constricting you as your body demanded to be free. You unbuttoned them and slid a hand in, your fingers sliding along your folds still covered by your chemise. You kicked off your jeans and shrugged off your shirt, and your underclothing was soon to follow. Your fingers dragged their way to your slit, parting them and your other hand began to caress your bundle of nerves. The pleasure began to roll through you, growing slowly as your touch became more fervent.

An image appeared in the depths of your mind. Arthur pinning you against a tree, fucking you to his content. It disappeared almost as quickly as it arrived, yet it was enough to send a wave of fresh yearning through you. Biting on your lip, you tried to ignore it.

That however did nothing to staunch the way your body responded further to that memory. You mentally tried to push it away despite how wet you were growing for that sensation again. You shouldn’t fantasize about Arthur, you couldn’t.

Your mind kept screaming at yourself, but your body keened for his touch. The seconds ticked by and you were losing control of your own thoughts.

The dam broke open, flooding your mind with the memories of how Arthur took you that night. How perfect he felt inside you. The way his hands ravaged every inch of your sensitive skin and he rammed you. Your fingers slid into your entrance, desperately trying to reenact the sensation of his cock inside you. His growl, audible in your mind, was enough to send shivers cascading through your body.

You remembered how instantly protective he was over you earlier. The power in his voice, she’s mine. Even if it were just in the heat of the moment to ward off the other Alpha, those mere words sent you spiraling.

A small part of you wished you hadn’t resorted to him. He however was your first, and the only memory that you sustained in such a powerful event. You ached so painfully for it again. Your hands worked feverishly against your clit and teased your entrance. Every nerve of your body tingled as you barreled toward your release.

“Arthur…”

Your climax crashed over you fiercely, overtaking your muscles as you clenched around your fingers. You expelled a fresh rush of fluid into the palm of your hand. That was new.

You released shallow breaths as blood rushed through your ears. The fire of your release began to ebb away, settling back within your belly. You expected the dull ache that accompanied your usual ministrations. However, it were as if you hadn’t even done anything. The yearning returned with full force, gripping hold of your insides that you nearly gasped out from its intensity.

You moaned in frustration and gritted your teeth. God damn it. You knew what you were craving, who you were craving. You should have expected it wouldn’t be the same after your encounter with him. It were as if he changed your entire chemistry right down to the very core. You wouldn’t be satisfied unless he were to copulate with you. And you weren’t even mated to him.

But would he oblige?

You swallowed and sat up, the growing need for him beginning to cloud your mind. A small part of you contemplated on just riding the remainder of your heat out, regardless how long it took. There was no way Arthur would agree to do this again. You were ashamed of even considering it. You knew how he felt about it and you couldn’t blame him. Hell, you couldn’t blame either of you.

A swell of pressure grew within your core, forcing a sharp intake of breath from you. Perhaps you ought to try.

You stood up and peered through the flaps of your tent. It’d grown even darker, and you strained your eyes to see through the trees. A small breeze carried by, bringing Arthur’s scent to you and flooding your senses. Your legs trembled from how it enveloped you. He was still nearby.

You called his name into the quiet night and waited. A moment passed by when the faint sounds of moving underbrush appeared. His silhouette formed through the dark, becoming more prominent with each step. He was close enough to see his face, though still stood a good distance away.

“You finished?” he asked.

You shook your head. “No…” you mumbled. “I...I need help.”

You watched as his expression changed to confusion in the dim. “Help? With what?” he asked.

You swallowed hard. “I-I think you know…” you stammered, shyly glancing downward. You waited for him to reject you, waited for the anger of you even suggesting it.

Instead was even more bewilderment. “W-why?” he asked.

You sighed heavily. “Because I-” you paused for a moment to collect the right words. “I tried, it didn’t work. It’s the only way, Arthur. Please…I wouldn’t ask if there was another way aside from…riding it out.”

He’d fallen silent for a long moment, his gaze turning away from you, and you assumed that was his rejection. You withdrew back into your tent, unsure what you were going to do now. Embarrassment began to flood through you, and you cursed your heat for even allowing you to consider asking for his help. It was going to be a long week.

You heard the flaps open, and you turned your head to see Arthur at the entrance. It nearly surprised you, giving him a look of your own confusion. “Arthur?”

His eyes were on you, eyes bright against the darkness. His scent began to overwhelm you as he stepped in completely. You instinctually covered yourself, shyness overcoming you.

“Y/N…” he rumbled, kneeling down and reaching to gently cup your face. You hadn’t expected it, your body both flinching and responding to his touch. Rough fingers slid against the soft skin of your face, and you closed your eyes, allowing the sparks roll through your body.

You felt his lips brush against yours. His hands coaxed your stiff arms down and away from you. It surprised you that he was so intimate and gentle unlike before. He pulled you into his lap as if you were weightless, his clothes rough against your naked skin. The bulge beneath his pants were already prominent, sitting against your soaked mound.

The kiss became more fervent, his tongue prodding you open. You gladly accepted his invasion, letting him take the lead. One hand left your waist to trail up and down your back. A simple touch that had your heat keening for him. Your back arched and you pressed your breasts against his chest. A quiet groan rumbled deeply from him, and he parted his lips from yours.

The hand that trailed along your spine had come to rest on your lower back. “You sure ya want this?” he murmured to you.

You took a deep, shuddering breath. “Yes,” you answered coherently. “I want you, Arthur. I need you right now.” Your arms wrapped around his neck.

He inhaled deeply, allowing your scent to flood his senses. A growl emanated from his chest, sending a shiver took hold of you. “You smell so good…” he whispered. His hand moved to your navel, sinking down low to your folds. Another shudder rippled through you as his fingers grazed against your sensitive clit. You could hear how wet you were when he teased your entrance.

“T-take me, please. Arthur…I’m aching for you,” you moaned, canting your hips to his touch.

He hummed at your words, sliding his fingers into you with ease. His thumb circled your nub. A gasp passed your lips as he toyed you tantalizingly, almost lazily. He hadn’t done this before with you. Even with his fingers, it was what your body needed. He felt so good that you could get lost just from his hands alone. His other hand moved from your lower back to your chest, grazing his thumb across one of your nipples. He played you like an instrument, his fingers expertly teasing you at a slow pace in every right way. It didn’t take long until you were writhing in his lap. You begged for more, but he kept at it with his ministrations, his eyes on you the entire time.

Your second peak had washed over you smoothly, yet somehow was more satisfying and explosive than the first. You moaned his name, your fingers grappling onto him like claws as it gripped your body. The last of it trickled out of your body as you trembled in his lap. You’d certainly made a mess on his jeans. The ache in your belly had lessoned however still remained prominent, and you wanted him even further.

“Did that help?” he asked lowly.

“A little,” you sighed. “Not enough…I need to feel you.”

He didn’t answer, ducking his head as if in thought. You could sense his hesitation and could guess why: his thoughts were still lingering on his guilt. You placed your hand on his stubbled chin, coaxing him to look at you.

“It’s okay, Arthur. I’m asking you…please. I want your knot.” You whispered to him. Your free hand slinked down his torso to rest on his strained jeans. His entire body twitched beneath you.

His gaze was fixated on you. There was still an unsureness hidden within those depths, yet the gleam reflected much more. His rut was the forefront, the need to connect with you held back by uncertainty. He released a rattling sigh, finally muttering, “I want you too.”

You smiled and your hand left his chin to work on the buttons of his shirt. It was already partly opened and you moved to work on the rest. It would be the first time seeing him nude and a fresh wave of need washed upon you thinking about it. The fabric fell open and you placed your hands on his exposed torso. He felt solid underneath his hot, hairy skin. His even breathing slightly disrupted from your touch. Fingertips trailing along his midline, you explored the planes and angles of his muscles. He was built just right. The very epitome of an Alpha.

You dare to explore further, dipping down to the waistband of his pants. As the buttons released the tension it unveiled what lay hidden underneath. You reached in through the opened folds to fish out his length. It was as thick as you remembered, your hand not fully wrapping around its circumference. The knot at the base was slightly swollen.

His breath hitched as you slid your hand along his hot and silky skin. Even though he’d taken your innocence last time, you were not ignorant on how to pleasure a man. His soft moans were a sweet melody to your ears, calling to you and reaching even further to your heat. You drew in a ragged breath as another swell of yearning overtook you.

Arthur sensed it, and his hand covered your own. He pulled your hand off him gently. “Think I need to focus on you now, sweetheart.” He muttered, planting a soft kiss upon your knuckles.

Sweetheart. You hadn’t expected that. A blush painted your face and you smiled shyly, tucking your face against your shoulder. He moved you off his lap and placed you back on your bedroll.

“On your knees.” He said gently. You listened and turned around, raising your ass up in presentation to him. His large hands took place on your waist and you waited for him to pound in. He instead slid his cock between your folds, groaning lightly as he coated himself with your fluids. He teased your clit for a short moment before he found your opening and slid in with ease, taking his time to fill you inch by inch. He stretched your walls oh so deliciously until he was completely sheathed.

You felt whole again, the two of you fitting together perfectly like puzzle pieces. Your body naturally pushed back, your butt flush with his hips. He uttered a small swear while his grip tightened on you.

He began to thrust. A slow and rolling movement that sent waves traveling through every fiber of your being. “Arthur…” you moaned. “You feel so good.”

His pace quickened a touch as he moaned out your name. He was careful with you this time, each touch and thrust as gentle as handling fine china. He caressed every curve you had to offer, tingles erupting everywhere his calloused pads roamed. He left no inch of your flesh untouched, exploring everywhere he could reach. He leaned over you, clouding your mind with his musk as his strong arms wrapped around you. Your breasts were at his leisure, toying with them as he had before. The way he pinched your nipples sent shivers down your spine.

“You feel amazin’,” He groaned, pressing himself deep as he inhaled sharply. “So soft…” he straightened back up and ran a hand down your back, his nails spurring you enough to enhance your ever-growing pleasure. He reached around to rub against your clit.

The additional sensation had you trembling in his grasp. Your head tilted up to whine out loud, uncaring of the volume at the moment.

“That’s it darlin’,” he rumbled to you. “Give me your pleasure.”

Darlin’. His voice. It was enough alone to send you nearly over the edge. It brought your third peak sooner than expected, coiling right deep within your core. It sprang free and spread like wildfire through your veins. You sang your pleasure out to him, your muscles clenching around him so tightly that he grunted.

He swore out loud, driving into you rather hard. You gasped and tried to wiggle away from the overstimulation. He held you against him yet returned to his normal pace. “Shit,” he groaned. “You sound beautiful.”

Your face heated with another blush. You turned your head to look at him. His eyes locked to yours, his clouded with lust. He offered you a small smile and briefly caressed your neck. Such intimacy continuously caught you off guard yet was pleasant all the same. “C-can you go harder, please?” you sighed.

He moaned at your words and heeded your request, thrusting harder and deeper into you. The waves of absolute ecstasy that followed were almost dizzying. You gripped the bedroll and released a wanton moan. His knot was starting to swell more, indicating he was close to his own release. His thrusts became more fervent as he chased his pleasure. Leaning over once again he wrapped his arms around you to bring you upright, pressing your back to his chest. You could only gasp in surprise from this action words lost to you with your mind too fogged. His scruffy chin rested on your shoulder as he murmured sweet praises in your ear. He was relentless, his fingers hadn’t left your clit while his other hand fondled your breasts. Your body threatened to melt in his grip with yet another orgasm on the climb.

It washed onto you like a tsunami. Your entire body vibrated in his arms as you cried your release out to the heavens, his name mixed in a tangle of swears and squeals. With the flames ebbing away, his arms held you tight while he drove himself even further into you.

“Shit, I’m close,” he growled lowly. His knot teased the sensitive nerves of your inner walls. You could only breathlessly whine while he used your body to his bidding. With a few strong thrusts, he unleashed a guttural groan and pressed himself into you as much as he could, spilling his hot spend inside you.

His knot had swelled completely, once again locking you to him. The little space of your tent had become filled with the heated panting of your breaths. The aching swell once residing deep in your belly had finally dissipated, leaving behind a blanket of fatigued bliss.

Arthur’s arms loosened a fraction from around you. You hadn’t expected the next maneuver when he shifted you as if you were weightless. He’d managed to carefully lay the both of you atop your bedroll, his weight was on top of you for only a brief second before he rolled onto his side and pulling you along with him. He was now spooning you, and only then did his arms leave your torso.

The air was hot, the heat radiating from his skin even hotter. That didn’t matter to you in the slightest. Riddled head to toe with satisfaction of finally having what you needed with the person you needed it from. Just an hour ago it seemed even impossible to reach this point.

You felt him shift behind you again. His presence loomed over you and his hand reached to cup your jaw. You turned to his touch without resistance, peering up into those bright eyes of his. He had a soft smile that shone through the dim, and he brought his lips to meet yours.

The kiss was as tender as the first. It still amazed you how this beast of a man could be so soft and gentle with you. He held you to him and you marveled how plump his lips felt against yours. Another long moment passed before he released your face, his hand coming to rest on your hip.

Such a simple notion had you lightheaded. You gave a small huff, your senses still filled to the brim of his scent. He chuckled lightly, sending vibrations against your back.

“Been wantin’ to do that for a while,” he rumbled.

You blinked and shifted slightly to view him better. “What, fuck me?”

“Not exactly,” he murmured. “Kiss you.”

His answer had you taken aback. “W-what? Really?”

His hand moved again, beginning to trace lazy patterns up and down your waistline. “Yeah… was afraid to say somethin’ to ya after what happened. Weren’t sure if you even liked me. Thought I’d try.”

You released a shuddering sigh at his words. Never did you once imagine it would have come to this point. You denied your slowly growing infatuation for him as one-sided and heat-driven, assuming he’d never even want to touch you again. And you were glad you were wrong.

“’Less you just needed me for my knot…” he mumbled, turning his head away and taking your silence for rejection.

“No!” you exclaimed. He flinched from your interjection. You cautiously moved yourself to cup his cheek. “Arthur…” you said, lowering your tone. “Listen, I… I like you. I do. If I didn’t I wouldn’t have asked you to help me with my heat…” you sighed again. “Regardless of what happened between us. I like you.”

You watched the disbelief melt away from his face to slowly form a content smile. His hand covered yours, passing his lips across the skin of your palm. You closed your eyes, allowing the sensation to envelope you. He kissed a steady, feather-light path up your arm and along your shoulder. He finished by placing his mouth against your pulse point. His teeth grazed your flesh, catching your attention. Your breath hitched and you opened your eyes.

“Don’t worry, I won’t mark ya,” he assured, whispering into your skin. “Too early for anything yet…”

You nodded silently. Still much too soon to even consider such a large step, if it were even a possibility in the future.

“But I wanna get to know ya more…” he continued. His touch moved to your stomach, rubbing it in slow, soothing circles. “If that’s okay.”

“Of course it’s okay,” you granted, sparks igniting deep from how he caressed you. “Just wish you’d done it sooner.”

He exhaled a puff of breath with a small chuckle. “I ain’t the most confident of folk, believe it or not.”

You hummed in response. “Guess I ain’t surprised since you went almost a month without saying much to me.”

“’Spose I gotta make up for that then,” he replied, placing a sweet kiss on the back of your neck. The hand on your stomach pressed your torso closer to his in a tight embrace. You fell to it easily, finding comfort and security in his capable hands.

The post copulation ache that took hold of your muscles soon began to engulf you whole. Sleep weighed heavy in your mind and tugged at your eyelids. The last thing you heard was Arthur’s voice soothing you to a restful sleep.

[fangirlauthor]

vld season 8 [SPOILERS]

Okay, so these are my thoughts on voltron season eight and a little bit on voltron in general. I’m not here to hate on canon, or the voice actors, or the writers, or hate on anyone, really; they’re just my opinions. If you haven’t seen season 8 or don’t want spoilers or don’t want to read my opinions, stop here. 

I’m going to split my thoughts into sections, so here goes. Sorry this isn’t lok themed, I promise I’m still writing things for lok, but I guess I’ll be writing things for other fandoms now as well; my brain can be kind of erratic, so what I’m writing depends on what I’ve been doing recently. 

Also, if you have different opinions or thoughts or anything you want to ask about my opinions on Voltron, feel free to send me an ask. 

Characters

Hunk - Honestly, I thought he was pretty cool. I liked his ending mostly, and how he got to continue to do the things he loves while spreading peace and promoting cooperation between people and using his cooking to accent that. I also don’t have any particular headcanons or anything for him as of right now, but maybe in the future. 

Pidge/Katie Holt - I didn’t have any problems with Pidge’s ending either, I actually kinda liked it, and headcanons... she definitely pursues a career in a STEM field, and I think she goes on to do super cool science things I wouldn’t understand. 

Shiro - I didn’t hate his ending as well, I do wish they hadn’t killed Adam though, so maybe I’ll pretend he’s alive somewhere. I dunno. I’m really glad they made him happy, and let him finally find peace. I kinda have a headcanon that he’ll run a space orphanage or something that works with the Blade of Marmora humanitarian relief thing or whatever they are now. I hope he gets to take all the naps he needs.

Keith - I also liked his ending a fair amount, I think it’s cool that he’ll get to help people and I think that it’s in alignment with his character arc from what I can tell. He went from suffering to helping make sure no one else does, and that can a difficult jump to make, from what I understand. 

Lance - Okay, so this is a hot topic. Honestly, I don’t agree with him being a farmer forever; I think at some point he’s going to start to heal and grow again and that he’ll start travelling the galaxy. Maybe he’ll continue to teach about Allura, but in different places and in different ways, all across the galaxy, like I said. Maybe, at some point, he’ll discover that happiness doesn’t have to be something to remember, but that it can be something to discover once again, even if it’s different then before. At some point, he’s going to continue to grow and spread light and love and maybe even find his own. 

He could have definitely had more character development in the show, instead of them spending the last season focusing on changes due to romance rather than other forces (or even the effects those romantic feelings had on him after could have been handled better). That’s why, in case this wasn’t clear the first time I said it, I think that he’s going to go around the galaxy, maybe even with Keith and the Blades, to teach not only about Allura but about other heroes, about missions he’s been on and the things he’s learned from war. I don’t think he’s going to be a farmer forever, but I think that some time to rest before he gathers the courage to start growing as a person again will help him/is necessary. 

Allura - Okay, I’m going to say right off the bat that I don’t think she should have died. I do like that she was designed as a strong, brave character who makes her own decisions. Yeah, I really don’t like that she died and I don’t think she should have, but she did, so yeah. I think that she was smart enough to find another solution and that her death was unnecessary, like I’ve said, but I respect that her sacrifice was on par with her character/character traits/personal values. I’ve got some other things to say in a minute, but we’ll get to that. 

As a group, after the show ended - I definitely think they saw each other more than once a year, and that they all still treated each other like the family they claimed to be during battles. Bonds made in war are hard to break, and theirs is most certainly unbreakable. They’ll be a team for their lifetime, even if their jobs take them to different places for a time. 

Ships

Okay, so this is also a hot topic from what I can tell. I’ve gotta say I don’t a) ship Pidge with anyone and b) I’m not here to hate on any ships unless they’re legitimately abusive or wrong in the manner of, y’know, pedophilia and such. 

Allurance - I don’t hate this ship, and I don’t hate it being canon. I don’t actively ship it and I don’t think that, even if Allura had lived, they would have been endgame anyway. I do disagree with people who say that they don’t have any chemistry at all, because I think they have at least some. I definitely don’t ship it as an endgame ship, but I think they were/could’ve been great friends. I do feel like it was a little forced in the beginning, and I feel like it sends a slightly negative message about men being overly persistent after a woman says no and negates Allura’s individual strength a little bit. I do think that if it had been done slightly different, it would have seemed less like Allura was guilt-tripped or practically coerced into the relationship and could have shown that people don’t need a significant other to make them whole because people are their own, whole person; it could have shown that bonds between people make two whole people stronger, in a sense, with both people respecting that the other person is their own person and makes their own choices/has their own opinions. (As long as those opinions aren’t harmful to the other person or to other people.)

Klance - Okay, so if you couldn’t tell, I ship klance. I personally think they have a lot of chemistry, especially in some scenes, and I think that (in accordance with my Lance headcanon) that they’ll eventually start working together in humanitarian relief efforts/teaching trips and either end up together or even just be friends. I think they have a great relationship either way, and that they support each other really well; Lance being Keith’s impulse control guy and Keith being Lance’s confidence. Like I said, they definitely have great chemistry but as long as they end up working together some way and benefit each other, I’m good if they stay friends. 

Shay and Hunk - Is there a ship name for this? I haven’t seen one, but I might’ve missed it. Anyway, I think their relationship is pretty sweet and I don’t ship it aggressively but I really do think they’re cute. 

Shiro and Curtis - I think they’re cute as well, I’m glad Shiro’s happy and hopefully he gets lots of time to rest while still helping others.  I do miss Adam and I’m sad he’s dead; I’m also cool with a ship with Shiro in a relationship with both of them or all three of them in a relationship with each other. I’m sad we didn’t get to see Curtis and Shiro interact with each other before the wedding, but again I’m trying not to be salty even though I don’t like that we never got to see a dynamic between the two. 

The Ending

Okay, I’m a little confused on what happened at the end. I’m pretty sure that the lions are circling the planet, minus the blue lion which is not, but I can’t tell. It is a little bittersweet to me that they don’t still pilot the lions, but I understand that things have to come to an end for other things to take place. Still bittersweet though. 

Overall

Overall, I’ve gotta say I didn’t hate it. There were a few things I would have preferred to be canon (like klance or better character development for some characters) or preferred not to be canon (Allura dying) but I came in with low expectations so it kept me fairly entertained. Like I said, not here to hate on anything just my opinions. 

So that’s all I can think of right now, I might talk about my thoughts on Lotor later, maybe on lotor x allura as well, but I’m running out of time so that’s all for today. Also, sorry for the long post.

[blazinbeautywrites]

Band Wars: Rise of the Phoenix

Note: Due to the rampant uprising of plagiarism on this site and others I am stating once and once only that this is my ORIGINAL work. If I find out that you have stolen/taken any part of my work I will handle you and the situation the way I see fit.

None of the pics or gifs I use belong to me so full credit goes to the originators of said gifs and pics.

Length: 2,356 words

A/N: Sorry it took me so long to get this out guys. I was not happy with the final results and when I was I still was unsure so I rewrote it again and decided to just post it. I’ll let yall be the judge lol.

Genre: Honestly idk lmao

Chapter 1

 Universal Music Group (UMG) decides to debut a new girl group, PHOENIX on their first ever reality show “Next Big Thing.” The winners of the show get a 5 year, 5 album recording contract and will tour with CNCO 1 year after they debut. The winner of the show was Zania Reye Bloom, followed by London Monroe Jones, Jolene Maria Sanchez, Siane Rei Choi, and Avery Lynn O'Reilly. The band is composed of 5 talented women with different ethnic backgrounds, ages 24-25. 

Since the show served as the girl’s training they were immediately thrusted into the spotlight after the show ended. They went to work on their debut album and as the release date approached the girls were getting antsy. Now only were they about to release their baby onto the world, but they were finally meeting CNCO today and discussing ideas for their tour.

*UMG headquarters in LA*

“Yoooo I’m fucking excited! Can yall believe our debut album is coming out in a couple days?” London said as she led a couple of her members to the elevators.

“Girl this tour bout to be lit as fuck. Bruuuh we’re going to fucking Sweden. I didn’t even think we had fans out there.” Zania said.

“Yeah you can thank that girl Astrid who made the finals. She was Swedish.” Avery said.

The girls finally heard the elevator ding at their floor and immediately got out. The girls walked into a meeting room where they saw their other 2 members Jolene and Siane bonding with the boys of CNCO.

“Finally you bitches show up. What took yall so long?” Siane asked.

“Avery thinks she’s still in Ireland and almost drove us into a damn ditch.” Zania said.

“You’re alive aren’t you? So quit complaining.” Avery said as she took a seat opposite Erick.

“Anyways if yall are done….THIS is CNCO ladies. This is Zabdiel, Christopher, Erick, Joel, and this is Richard.” Siane said as she pointed to each boy as she introduced them. Richard definitely caught Zania’s eye and she quickly averted her eyes so he wouldn’t catch her ogling him. Little did she know, he was checking her out too.

“And I’m Zania, and of course yall met Jolene and Siane. This is London and Avery.” She said as she gestured to her other bandmates. She was about to say something else when a tall, slender woman walked into the room followed by a man wearing the loudest shade of yellow and another woman dressed in all black.

“Okay let’s make this short and sweet. I’m Veronica Pierce, you can call me Vee or Ms. Pierce, never Veronica. Get it? Got it? Good. I am your tour  creative director. I’ll be working closely with you all to design your tour. And please, let’s all collectively agree on a specific concept. I will not have my people designing 2 separate stages. To my left is Chez Moa, your set designer. And to my right is Mel Carter she and her team will be styling you all so meet with her some time this week so she can get an idea of what you guys want and need. And ladies you have a busy weekend ahead. Friday you have your album release, press runs, then your album release party later that night. Saturday you’ll be on Good Day LA where you’ll be interviewed and then perform your lead single. Sunday you have a mini showcase where yall will perform some fan fave covers from the show and a few songs from the album, including your single with CNCO. You’ll have tomorrow, Wednesday, and Thursday to learn choreo for both performances. You’ll meet your choreographer tomorrow. Any questions?” 

The whole room was silent as both groups stared at Veronica and her associates. Zania raised her hand and the other members of Phoenix sighed. They knew how this shit was about to play out.

“So do we get to breathe? Or do we have to pencil that in too?” Zania asked. She knew she was being an asshole but this shit was ridiculous.

“Hmmmm you must be Zania Bloom. They told me you had a mouth on you. Listen up sweetie this my show. I call the shots and if they bother you, you can leave.” Veronica said. Zania smirked at her and leaned back in her chair.

“Nah I’m good. You may continue, Ms. Pierce.” Zana said. Sarcasm dripping from her words.

“Anyways that’s all for now. And remember this is a once in a lifetime opportunity. It can be taken away in the blink of an eye so watch yourselves.” Veronica spoke. She eyed the room but everyone knew exactly who that was meant for. She, Mel, and Chez exited the room in silence. Once they left, Siane burst out laughing.

“Yo I was clenching my fucking ass cheeks. She’s soo fucking hot.” Siane said.

“Keep it in your pants Siane. And Zania, girl why did you do that? You made that shit more intense than it needed to be.” London asked.

“You know me, I just had to say something. She was a bitch to us when we did the show, now they’re making her the tour director, wtf?” Zania said.

“Am I the only one who noticed that guy had on too much yellow?” Chris said. Everyone turned to him and started laughing.

“Look, I ain’t wanna say anything but he was so wrong for that. And it was a complete contrast to Mel who had on all black.” Jolene said.

“But real shit Vee ain’t no joke, she can make or break you. So just be careful.” Richard said. He made eye contact with Zania and she smiled at him.

“Oh I’m not afraid of her. She’s on a power trip so I’ll entertain her mess for the sake of this tour. You don’t have to worry bout me baby boy.” Zania said. Everyone got up to leave but on her way to the door she was stopped by Richard.

“I don’t know if you realized but I’m a grown ass man so that baby boy shit not gon fly with me.” Richard said. Zania was amused.

“Oh did I bruise your whittle ego babe? Look it’s not that serious-”

“But it is that serious so treat me with respect or keep it moving baby girl.” Richard said as he cut her off. He walked away leaving Zania stunned in silence. She walked back to her group and chuckled.

“Yall…...that guy Richard just lowkey put me in my fucking place. Oh this tour is gonna be so damn fun.” Zania said. She and her bandmates went to find their stylists to get started on designing their perfect tour outfits.

                                             ______________

It had been a full 5 hours and the girls were hard at work on their choreo. They were thankful that most of the songs they performed were their covers from their reality show so the moves were ingrained in their heads. They breezed through their choreo for their own singles and just finished running through them a final time before Laurieann Gibson called for lunch. The girls were beyond starved and as they walked to the cafe area of the upscale dance studio they saw CNCO walk through the door.

“Oop the boys are here.” Jolene said as she fixed her slightly messy hair. She made eye contact with Zabdiel as he and the other boys walked into the dance studio they’s just left.

“Ooooohhh do I sense a little crush? London teased.

“See that tall one, Zabdiel? I promise you, I will climb him like a fucking tree.” Jolene said, much to the amusement of her group. 

“Woah. Down girl, we have a whole ass tour to get through.” Avery said.

“Look if I can’t fuck Vee, you can’t fuck Zabdiel.” Siane argued.

“Girl. Zabdiel is fair game, Vee is our fucking boss. There’s a difference.” Zania said as the girls found a table near the back of the cafe. Avery went to order them some food and soon a waiter came back with a tray of fruit, some finger sandwiches, and a basket of the cafe’s homemade potato chips.

“This looks so good and I’m starving.” London said. As the girls ate they discussed the difficult choreo.

“I really thought Laureiann was gonna throw her shoe or some shit at you cuz you couldn’t get that one move down.” Siane said.

“I wish she would throw some shit at me.” Jolene said while the others laughed at her.

“What kind of shit yall think they’ll have us do with the boys?” London asked.

“Probably something sexy, ya kno to pander to the fans.” Avery answered.

“I heard that they’re partnering us up with them for the collab so whomever we pick is our dance partner for the song.” Siane added.

“Well. this should be fun.” Zania said. The girls chat a little bit longer before cleaning up and heading back into the dance studio. When they arrived they heard their song with CNCO playing. Laurieann was teaching them their choreo and once saw the girls she turned the music off and immediately began assigning pairs.

“Okay London you’re with Joel, Jolene with Eric, Zabdiel and Siane, Avery and Chris are partners and lastly, Zania, you’re with Richard. Everyone please stand with your partner. I’m only gonna do the dance two times and then you’re gonna do it and we’ll fine tune everything afterwards” Lauriann said as she read off her list. Before the girls could even process anything they quickly got into formation to do the choreo.

                                            ______________

A few hours later, both Phoenix and CNCO were spread out on the floor, exasperated. Lauriann told them to rest up and that she’d see them in the morning before she left them all a sweaty mess in the studio.

“I swear there are parts of me that are sweating I ain’t know could sweat.” Siane said as she attempted to lift her head to no avail.

“Girl I feel like my fucking feet are gonna fall off.” Zania said.

“I can’t feel my left asss cheek.” Jolene mumbled.

“Bruh at least yall voices aren’t hoarse as fuck.” Richard said.

“We should probably start heading out because I need an ice bath or some shit.” Avery said as she willed her body to move. Everyone followed suit and struggled getting to their feet. When the girls began packing up to leave, Zabdiel strolled on over to pull Jolene to the side. Zania looked on and smirked to herself. All she hoped was that whatever they had going on didn’t get in the way of her group’s path to success. She snapped out of her little daze just as Jolene made it back.

“Well, what was that about?” Zania asked.

“Girl he asked for my number. I was like no and he said can you really say no to this face. I almost fucking melted so I gave him my number. He’s so fucking cocky. I love it.” Jolene beamed. Zania could tell her friend was happy so she chose to keep her mouth shut. The girls finally made it to the elevator when Zania realized she’d left her phone in the dance studio.

“Shut yall I left my phone. Yall go on I’ll text yall once I get home.” Zania said.

“Girl we’ll wait, just hurry up.” London said. Zania jogged back to the building and ran up the stairs to be quicker. Once she got to the door of the studio she heard the boys talking.

“I really like that girl London. She’s classy, yet has a sexy side. I like that.” Joel said.

“Now see Jolene….them lips. I bet her head game on point.” Zabdiel said.

“Ew bro what the hell!” Eric exclaimed.

“I know you of all people are not talking.” Richard said.

“Even though I think she’s kind of a bitch, Zania fine as fuck too.” Christopher said.

“Yeah she is fine. Yall seen that ass? I’d love to get behind that.” Richard said. Zania had heard enough and walked into the room.

“Yall should really make sure that the door is completely closed before you talk about us. Anyways I left my phone and just came back to get it. Oh and Richard, Zabdiel? I understand that Jolene and I are attractive but please don’t talk about us like we’re pieces of meat mkay?” With that she grabbed her phone and walked out, leaving the boys a little dumbfounded. Once she got back outside she filled her girls on what she heard.

“You know. We should teach them a lesson.” Jolene said.

“Oop I sense an infamous Jolene Sanchez prank.” Siane said.

“Yep. Okay so here’s the plan.” Jolene explains the little prank they’ll play on the boys at the showcase. They’d messed with the wrong girls.

                                            _____________

The rest of the week went by in a blur and before they knew it, their album release day was finally here. It’d only been a few hours and their album was already number 1 on a few of the urban and pop album charts. Siane screenshot the Billboard charts where their album was number 1 and sent it to their group chat. She then called them all on a video chat.

“WAKE UP BITCHES! WE NUMBER 1 BABYYYYYY!!!!1!” She yelled into the phone. The others, as groggy as they were, laughed at how hyped their member was.

“Girl you are so lucky I was up getting ready or I’d curse you the fuck out.” Zania said. 

“Bitch whatever. Anyways I love yall so much! We’ve officially ARRIVED! Like we in the fucking building forreal now. WHEW! Let me start getting my shit together. See yall soon. Love ya! Siane said as she hung up the video call. The girls were buzzing and couldn’t be any happier that after almost 6 months, their hard work has finally paid off and that their fans love their album as much as they do. They couldn’t wait to see what lie ahead for them. They knew whatever it was, it was gonna be big.

[currentfandomkick]

Miraculous Team and the Batboys- Mundane Monday and Plot is Connecting Maybe

HEY so thank you all for waiting, puppy plus work being mobbed is hell, so this took forever to get brain power to write... oh well.

--

Marinette was on guard when she came into class. Her meeting of the “End Gabriel Agreste” Club with its core four members—herself, Chloe, Nino and Sabrina—went well. They were now 15% away from their goal.

Apparently Felix snatched up 3% on his own and gave it to MDC while she was away. Apparently it was his way of a peace offering… or a bribe not to kill him on sight. She wasn’t sure which… yet.

Properly awake and with her favorite drink (blend of dark roast, cream and a tiny bit of Energy Mayhem Special) she was good for the day. Everyone had their usual orders in their seats.

She raised an eyebrow when she noticed a text from Red Robin on her phone, currently a rose and bird emoji label.

RR: So, scale of one to ten, how bad is it if I accidently figured out your partner?

Marinette took a deep breath at that, checked the classroom (Nino was off with Kitty Section debating how to fix the ‘off’ bit of the rift in Rose’s latest song—something about it not ‘punching right’ and Luka being busy with his other band, Chloe and Sabrina were currently fighting Bustier in her office, Alya was conspiring with the Girl Squad on Lila’s end since she wasn’t in, Max and Kim were obviously eavesdropping on that conversation while Nathaniel was off in his own world). Damian still hadn’t come in, and Adrien wasn’t in yet… she wondered if her Chaton was going to sleep in for once.

LB: Please tell me you haven’t told your team

She kept her breathing steady, not letting panic overtake. That would alert people she didn’t want knowing, to looking, which leads to suspecting and rumors and theories and she’d like to avoid that entirely—especially since she still can’t really lie.

RR: I have a feeling you would kick us all out if I did, so I haven’t.

Marinette sighed, tension leaving her shoulders.

LB: Good. Keep it that way as long as you can, okay?

RR: They’re detectives, once they have the pieces they’ll put it together… also, why is your team so easy to figure out?

Marinette winced at that.

LB: Dumb Magic Rules.

Like the one that training a wielder young will prevent corrupting them to use it for personal gain. Like the one where a Guardian cannot be a True Guardian until they connect to the entire Box or Set of kwami. Like the one where Fu can’t give up being Guardian until she’s fully fledged… and that means until she can reclaim the Nooroo and Dusuu and heal Dusuu’s miraculous. That when she does—when she does Fu is gone.

She kept her breathing steady. nothing that they wouldn’t see as Typical Marinette Fretting Over Orders… not that they knew she had those cleared for the month.

“Good morning Dupain Cheng.”

She put her phone away easily, quick to keep up Typical Marinette (no plotting or superheroing here, just Typical Marinette, Baker’s Daughter and Keeper of Secret Drink Menu).

“Hi Damian, how was your weekend?”

“Annoying.” She winced at that. He didn’t exactly have friends here, and time differences are a horrible strain on them… Maybe Ladybug should keep an eye on him… just in case. “I hope yours was adequate.”

She was really wondering who taught him French today… he was being less him and more… stuffy than usual.

“I just needed some time away...” Honestly, she needed a lifetime away from Bustier and Hawkmoth… Lila was manageable (now).

“I am glad you were able to then.”

She was wondering where her deskmate went and why he wasn’t looking at her… Maybe she overdid it last week? She—no. She is stopping her analysis brain from going off and---

“Hello Marinette,” grinned obviously Not-Adrien. Seriously—how did they all fall for it back then? Body language, facial tics, accent—its all wrong.

She narrowed her eyes, not aware that Damian was doing the same beside her.

“Aw, didn’t you miss me?”

Nino came over then, scrunching up his nose as they both could tell Fake Adrien Agreste from the real one with ease now.

“What are you doing here,” Nino was definitely tired… He was not applying his sleep schedule quiz results at all. She was so lecturing him… lunch. She could pencil it in for lunch after wrecking Felix for taking Adrien’s place for the day.

“Oh, good to see I-Love-You Girl isn’t the only one that grew a brain since I last saw you all.” Felix raised an eyebrow at Damian, lingering. Plotting. “You’re new.”

“American Transfer, leave him out of whatever’s going on in that thing you call a brain.” Marinette was not going to deal with an akuma over this. Nope. She was not dealing with that again—or a series of Akuma… God she was going to kill Felix personally if he did. Chloe was untouchable as the Mayor’s daughter, but him? She could take him down again.

“And where’s my bro?”

“Your precious Ladybug,” He sneered, “didn’t cast whatever she did last time, and he’s home sick since his allergies are acting up. I figured it’d be as good a time as any to pull our old switcheroo to keep his Father-Farthest away.”

Marinette twitched at that. She knew she was forgetting something… She sent a quick text to Red Robin.

LB: Why didn’t you tell me it was Mr. Pigeon irl, not video!

RR: …you thought I figured it out from a video?

Marinette rolled her eyes openly at her phone, ignoring Nino as he threatened Felix with his own brand of Bro Shovel Speech.

LB: detectives, most of our battles are caught a decent amount on video, and most of Paris knows that Mr. Pigeon makes him sneeze. Really not a hard recon.

RR: I think you are overestimating my willingness to watch amateur video at length when I can outsource.

Marinette huffed at that.

LB: So you trusted them to not miss major clues when you were all working on different things and would miss key connections?

RR: we’re on the same page as a team. Plus, I get better info filtered with my apps

LB: Magic Fucks Things Up

RR: I’ve noticed.

She looked up to see Damian staring ahead, and wondered if she did something, or didn’t or—NO! Bad Marinette—no going down Rumination Ruin until its time to sleep. She needs daytime for Plotting, Nighttime for Anxiety and Regrets to run wild.

She kept her attention forward when class began, pointedly Not Talking To The Gremlin but not busting him either—she wasn’t going to get Adrien in trouble. Bustier may not notice the abuse signs, but a few other teachers had, and were given the ‘heads up’ by Nino and Chloe and Sabrina.

Lila was the only one unaware of the switch when she left during lunch to drop off a few deliveries her parents asked her to handle when the rush hit. Mostly to one elderly home, and one to her favorite Rescues Only center.

(if she was seen cooing at Lord Murder—yes she knows that’s a Bad Name but the giant kitty amputee was named that years ago before she was found and stubbornly refuses all other names. So, Lord Murder (Never Lady, she hisses at that) it was.)

She blinked when she saw Damian walk in on her checking the Lord Murder’s prosthetic.

“Hey Damian.”

“Dupain Cheng.”

Marinette nodded in acknowledgement and hoped he didn’t catch her calling Lord Murder “the lord and master of murder, the most deadly kitty in existence, and yes, clearly the most cunning of kitties to manage to scratch Mean ol’ Jean with the new paw when it doesn’t even have claws, because you are The Lord Murder, kitty of cuteness and wrath to all unwanted bath times.”

He was watching her then. “Lord likes you.”

Marinette raised an eyebrow, as yes, her favorite rescue (sorry Chat) likes her. She’s the one who argued them into letting them try out prosthetics and handled the funding (officially as MDC) and may have gone overboard on checking everything from the fits and materials and… yeah, okay, she could admit that the giant fluffy Norwegian Forest home in a millisecond if it wasn’t for the health code violation (soon… Gina mentioned she might stop renting out her old house soon as the current group was only a quick temp and she didn’t want someone else living there that wasn’t like family… and something about her Lost Son using it for the moment. Maybe she could convince Maman and Papa to let her do house sitting is she breaks out the Kitten Eyes.)

“Yes. Yes she does.”

Then Lord slow blinked at Damian. She wasn’t sure if she sould be offended or worry her favorite might be adopted by someone else, or glad that it was a serial pet adopter that actually took care of their pets and would be just as nuts as her about making sure Lord Murder was happy and healthy.

“I see she likes you too.”

She could feel Tikki dying in her bag… yes, she was being… awkward. She got it…

“Anyways, I should get going, still have a delivery to do and all so…”

She didn’t, she just really had no idea how to broach the Awkward that was Damian Greyson at the moment.

“See you tomorrow.”

That got him to pause. “Tomorrow?”

“Uh, gymnastics for the rest of the day, making up for what I missed so…”

“If you see the Other Grayson, tell him he is not to hug you.”

Marinette raised an eyebrow. “I…” Brother, father, maybe cousin or legal guardian or friend of his father’s. Too many possibilities, too much to spiral on that she can’t right now. SO.

“O. okay then.”

“Good.”

Marinette waited for him to leave the room, looking at a Too Amused Lord Murder.

“Don’t you start with me, I know I’m a mess on a good day. And no, I’m not overthinking this time Lord, I’m planning, there’s a difference… And no, its not an Alya Plot.”

Those went sideways too fast.

She left with ease and froze at the text from Red Robin.

RR: Can we meet up tonight? No traces that way.

She sent a time and place and –If no akumas happen.

--

THANK YOU ALL FOR WAITING. it has been a hellish time at work and extra shifts and war-zone lately on top of Precious Puppy Bonding and Care. As always, edits when I can get there and any comments or things you'd like to see expanded on more, leave a comment and I'll try to work it in if it flows.

As you can see, Plot Lines are converging soon.

Big Question though--what kind of Lila Exposed By Class do we want/are angling for? I can go legal or social backlash, blacklisting from Agreste brand, or some combo, or keep it a background element as I don't like how cannon Lila is written and the characters altered to make her bad lies work, so...

Other inquiry--do we want Dick to see Marinette take down someone (probably trying to rob her) on her way out of her gymnastics place on her way home using a few Obviously MIxed Gymnastics and Specific Brand of Martial Arts that feels oddly familiar to Nightwing who tells Red Robin and for him to groan as 'Coffee Angel, Why!' and then the next day its 'oh. Coffee Angel is also That Woman's Granddaughter. It all makes Sense now.' (as i hc Gina as probably busting a few drug, weapons, and human trafficking rings on occasion as how she met Jason back in the day) OR for him to only see the end as Nightwing and stare as she took them down and used her earbuds as 'makeshift handcuffs' while she's calling Sabrina as "I'm fine, no dodged their hits and yes i didn't get gassed this time... yes I'll let the medics look me over and no i'm not going to vanish before they get here unless Akuma, Yes if that happens i'll go to the hospital after--Look, i think i saw a shadow just move. I'm going on Akuma-mode now so... Thanks!" before running to meet up with Red Robin and have it take meeting Gina and looking between Gina and Marinette and how she responds to Jason trying to spar with her and then it clicks? I can go either way, but... Tim figures them out quick and straight up says at one point "I mean, Queen Bee after Style Queen, inverse colors... I've seen the multiverse, I had her pegged after seeing her in the bakery last week." All while Not Telling The Bats as Marinette's team doesn't even know and he has a feeling (correctly) she'll react Badly if she isn't the one to tell him before he comes clean, and ears her bolting as 'no support, team leader, and often absentee and likely disabled mentor, civilian life was a wreck for two years and her civilian safety net is only JUST reforming... hm. That's Famil--Oh.... well... wait until trust is there and let her move on that front, try not to set her off and offer help in what she'll allow--or risk pissing off the demi-goddess of creation and his Coffee Angel. Which he'd like to avoid, please and thank you.

Yeah, Tim is definitely going to Project on Marinette in this.

Also, I see Jason or Dick as Getting Marinette is InvolvedTM next... and Damian being the one to confirm the suspicions.

Prefer Jason Big Brothering or Dick "New Sister Mode Engaged" to suspect she's a temp hero? (Jason via Have You Seen Her in a Spar--and it's Gina's Granddaughter vs Dick 'Her Moves are Too Familiar, Maybe Ladybug uses her as a Body Double and trains her?' as the first Suspicion Arisen among the Bats.

[mostlycompetentwriter]

I Am You: Chapter 10

Pairing: OC x Bang Chan x Jisung x Changbin (Stray Kids)

Genre: Romantic Fantasy

Warnings: Smut at the end

Previous Chapters: (chapter 1), (chapter 2), (chapter 3), (chapter 4), (chapter 5), (chapter 6), (chapter 7), (chapter 8), (chapter 9)

Note: This series is rapidly coming to a close! I have two more chapters and an epilogue planned.

When I was still in high school, a group of jealous omega girls started openly targeting me as the primary recipient of their endless bullying. Apparently, the idea of having three alpha mates was incredibly taboo in our pack, especially given how young we were. Sure, there were plenty of instances of omegas mating with one or two alphas in other packs, but three? And it was impossible to forget how rare my situation was when our classmates enjoyed reminding me. 

In actuality, I should have known that they were hurting me out of jealousy as opposed to some sort of personal vendetta against an omega who had already mated three alphas. For example, the leader of this group of petty female nuances happened to be the same girl Changbin abandoned the night he mated me. And two of her friends had previously spent their heats with Jisung before I was even in the picture. But whatever the reason, I was always deeply offended when they would taunt me in the hallways or leave behind some sort of reminder that they despised my circumstances.

Like those horrible notes they left in my locker

I carefully unfolded the pristine white square, smoothing out the creases. “The school’s biggest slut,” I read aloud while trying to ignore the way my wolf bristled at the insinuation.

“At least you’ve acknowledged it,” a reckless female voice mocked from next to me. I glanced up wearily as she joined her friends at the lockers behind mine. 

I looked back down at the note despite the fact that the words had started swimming together in front of me. It was difficult to make out the letters and I felt absolutely horrible as I picked up their whispered insults. It was all too much for me to handle because I had never faced this level of derision before, especially from those who were supposedly my pack members.

“Angel.”

I quickly folded the note and stuffed it inside of a textbook before Changbin could see the harsh words. I turned around, hoping I looked more put together than I felt, unresisting when Changbin pulled me closer by the hips. “You smell good,” he remarked, leaning in closer. 

From over his shoulder, I spotted the young group of girls frowning in our direction. “I thought you were busy.”

“I’m never too busy for you,” he purred cheesily. “You shouldn’t be at school this close to your heat, angel. How can we take care of you here?”

I could hear their giggles in the background. “You never want to help,” I said bitterly, ignoring the way Changbin’s expression fell. 

“Angel,” Changbin continued delicately, “are you alright?”

“I’m fine,” I muttered. “I can’t be late for class.”

“But if you aren’t feeling well...”

“I promise I’m okay,” I dismissed his concerns.

“Let me take you to class.”

“I can walk by myself,” I retorted, reaching back to slam my locker door shut. 

I knew I had hurt Changbin, but I couldn’t stop thinking about those filthy notes or the taunting insults and dirty looks my classmates gave me in the hallways. Those omega girls had no idea how wrong they were in turning everyone against me. They only cared about getting a reaction, and I wasn’t strong enough to deny them.

“Angel,” Changbin tried again, but I was already walking in the opposite direction.

-------------------------------------------------------

I ate lunch alone because I was tired of dealing with the rest of my classmates, and I knew that nobody wanted to deal with me. It had become a tentative arrangement, an unspoken agreement that they would leave me alone if I sat as far away from civilization as possible. Normally, I would refuse to sit alone, but I didn’t have the desire to continue fighting when I was the only enemy.

I glanced out the window, watching the way the rain fell against the glass. My wolf longed to escape the oppressive atmosphere of our school life, and I had never wanted the shift more. I could practically feel my muscles aching, desiring nothing more than to let my wolf take control and run us back home where I felt safe.

I suddenly raised my head when I detected a familiar scent. It was graciously soothing...

“Hello, princess!” 

Jisung’s voice was charming as he sat next to me. “I switched lunch periods. Changbin said you weren’t feeling well.”

I rolled my eyes. “He’s exaggerating.”

“Well,” Jisung started, tossing down his tray, “I still worry.”

“I don’t want you to worry about me,” I said, sighing as I slowly started the process of dividing my vegetables into the remaining compartments of my lunch tray.

Jisung watched me carefully. “How was class?”

“Boring,” I told him honestly, wincing when my spoon scratched against the metal underside.

“I thought you liked your art class?”

“The teacher put on a film today,” I explained. “I was seconds away from falling asleep.”

“Is that why you look so down?” Jisung asked, shuffling in closer to me. 

I could feel his familiar warmth.

Jisung grabbed my spoon, filling it with the school’s flimsy excuse for nutrition. “Princess,” Jisung continued, holding out a spoonful of vegetables. 

A nearby duo of alphas had started observing our exchanges. The look in their eyes was one of silent judgment. “I’m not hungry,” I insisted, ignoring his offering.

Jisung frowned, lowering the food. “What’s wrong, princess?”

“I have a lot to do,” I said. “I need to talk to my teachers since I’ll be out for my heat.”

“That’s right,” Jisung said, eyes brightening. “When do you want me to come over?”

“I’ll let you know,” I said, suddenly feeling the desire to escape the dining room before the two of us attracted more attention. Yet, while attempting to stand up from the table, I was unprepared for the sudden headrush, stumbling to the side. 

An unfortunate side effect of my impending heat hormones.

But Jisung was there to hold me close, scenting me gently while my vision slowly stabilized. Nevertheless, I still heard the whispers from the surrounding tables. Why was everyone being so infuriating?

“Jisung,” I hissed, stepping out of his embrace. The alphas sitting next to our table snickered as they watched the two of us. 

“Did I hurt you, princess?” Jisung fretted, hands anxiously wandering down my arms. 

“No,” I fidgeted, taking another step back. “I just don’t feel good.”

“Are you cramping?” Jisung questioned and my face heated because he had said it so loudly. It felt like every pair of eyes in the dining room were looking in our direction.

“Don’t say that,” I urged him.

“Is it that bad?” Jisung asked, voice quieter. “Do you want me to take you home, princess?”

“It’s nothing,” I insisted, reaching down for my textbook. 

“Do you want me to come with you?”

“No,” I said quickly, perhaps with more spite than I intended. Jisung was so easily breakable and I knew my words would hurt him. Which is why I didn’t stick around to make things worse than they already were.

---------------------------------------------------------------

Since our bond was still relatively fresh, I usually sought after Chan at various points throughout the day. Even if it was for just a brief moment, the two of us would scent one another between classes to appease our demanding wolves. Usually, it was me who often cornered Chan and sought his attention. Today, however, it was Chan who found me, grabbing my hand and pulling me inside an empty classroom. 

Chan studied me for a brief moment, blue eyes searching. Then, he cautiously bared his neck, and I took the time to ensure that we were truly alone before I scented him enough to feel the bond settle back down into place. But that wasn’t enough for Chan.

“Something’s wrong,” Chan said, an observation as opposed to a question. “Changbin and Jisung said you weren’t feeling well.”

“I told them I was fine,” I snapped.

Chan raised one brow in question. “I don’t think you are.”

“It’s just my heat,” I insisted, jerking back when he attempted to fit his palm against my forehead.

Chan frowned. “You’re not acting like yourself.”

“I know,” I said. “I’m not usually close to heat.”

“I don’t think that’s why,” Chan reasoned and I cursed his intuitiveness. The alpha knew me better than most after a lifetime of close friendship.

“Don’t make me tell you,” I begged and Chan startled at the raw vulnerability I allowed in my tone.

“Now I’m worried,” Chan said, reaching out for my hand which I allowed him to take.

“I’ll figure it out,” I offered vaguely. “There’s nothing you can to do help.”

“Not if you don’t ask,” Chan countered, resting his forehead against mine.

“I can’t this time,” I said. “I have to be the one to fix this.”

“You know I don’t like that, Myah,” he said. “If I can’t help you as a mate, then I’m breaking my promise.”

“You can’t know,” I trembled.

“Why?”

“Because you’d be furious and irrational,” I said, startling when Chan abruptly pulled away.

“This sounds bad.”

“It really isn’t the worst thing that could happen,” I said. “You should focus on building the new pack. The four of us graduate soon.”

“Will you be out for your heat tomorrow?” Chan asked. “Your scent is spiking.”

“I’ll come to school one more day.”

“Can it be fixed before your heat?”

“I don’t know,” I sighed. “But I promise I’ll be okay. Please just worry about the new pack.”

“You’re my first priority,” Chan reminded me gently, thumbing across my lips.

“Not this time,” I said, brushing my fingers across his cheek. “Let me handle this problem.”

I held the alpha’s demanding gaze, but it was always difficult to convince Chan to submit.

“Okay,” Chan reluctantly agreed. “But if you keep acting like this, then you have to tell me.”

“I promise,” I said even as the lie weighed heavily over my heart.

The next morning, I arrived at school early feeling absolutely horrible. It was a terrible mistake to come to school that day. I was feverish and sickly, sweat dotting my forehead in an unappealing way, and I knew my heat was right on the precipice. I could barely sleep, bombarded by vivid dreams of my three mates, salivating at the image of their thick knots.

I shook myself from my headspace, hurrying to my locker to exchange textbooks. I was quickly growing more and more assured that I had made a bad decision about leaving my house. Thankfully, I knew that I could likely convince Jisung to take me home after lunch since we shared a class.

Reassured by this development, I opened my locker door, immediately noticing the folded note waiting on top of my math textbook. I let out a sigh as I opened the paper, reading the sentences carefully. And each subsequent line slowly broke my resolve the more I read my classmates’ spiteful comments.

“There you are!”

I ignored him at first, too swept away by the note. My wolf howled in outrage, demanding she take control and show those girls why they should mind their own business. But I couldn’t let her go because I would lose complete independence so close to my heat.

I grimaced at the note’s message, ignoring the way Jisung lingered, confusion evident in his expression. “Princess?”

I took off down the hallway without another word.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

If you want to do something about it, meet us during lunch in the gym.

I was shaking, rage overcoming every action as I stormed down the hallway. My fever was out of control and my entire body felt overheated. Yet, I didn’t hesitate at the opportunity to confront those omega girls. I had promised Chan I’d try to take care of the problem and this was my chance.

I easily spotted the five omega girls waiting inside the gym. My vision was narrowed, focusing only on the girls who had made my life so unbearable recently. But I didn’t want to be miserable anymore, I would end things once and for all.

“You came,” one of the girls remarked as if she was genuinely shocked to see me.

I held up the note to remind her. “You invited me.”

“We didn’t think you’d be stupid enough to show up,” the leader teased, starting slowly in my direction. “Where are your little guards?”

“Maybe she let them off their leashes,” the first girl giggled.

“What a slut,” the leader smirked. “Do you just spread your legs so that they can take their turn with you?”

“Or maybe she has a preference,” another added. “I know Changbin likes it rough.”

My chest heaved as I took a deep breath. “How are you gonna keep them satisfied?”

“Eventually, they’ll get tired of sharing,” the first omega said. “You’ll be left alone and nobody will want a slut.”

For some reason, now that I was here, my entire demeanor had shifted. I no longer felt angry, my wolf was unusually quiet, and my heat symptoms had settled. But I had also lost my fire, my drive to control the five girls and now I couldn’t find the right words. Instead, I was silent, allowing them to insult me while I no longer felt the urge to do anything about it.

I allowed the five of them to corner me against the wall, wedged between hard concrete and an angry aggregation of omega females. The leader took a step closer, eyeing the mark on my neck. “Everyone knows Changbin only marked you because he was in a rut.”

Her friends laughed at the comment. 

“What should we do, ladies?” the leader continued. “How do we make the little slut pay?”

“I don’t know,” one of the others contributed. “She must have a high tolerance for pain if she can take three knots.”

More snickering. “Should we test it?”

The first slap was jarring, snapping my neck to the side. I could feel the reminder, stinging the raw skin of my right cheek. “Pathetic,” the leader snarled. “How much more can you take?”

“I think you might want to reconsider,” a dangerous voice growled.

The lead omega let go of me so fast that it was almost imperceptible. Suddenly, there were familiar scents overtaking the nasty smell of those horrible girls. I opened my eyes, watching the omega leader whine submissively as Chan bared his teeth.

A warning.

“Do you think you can do this?” Chan continued. “What gives you the right?”

“Chan,” the leader tried, “we didn’t mean anything by it!”

“You tried to hurt my mate,” Chan snapped. “That means you tried to hurt us too.”

“And you put your hands on her?” Changbin added while his eyes darkened considerably. 

“You’re the ones who deserve to feel pain,” Jisung inserted, and I was taken aback by the hostility in my mate’s words. I had never heard Jisung sound so confrontational before. His threat was frightening and I could feel its authenticity which prompted me into action.

I carefully reached for Jisung, wrapping my hand around his bicep. His expression shifted, shoulders relaxing. “Just let them go.”

Jisung turned to look at me. “Let them go?”

“Not after what they did,” Changbin insisted, fully prepared to follow through on their words.

Thankfully, Chan seemed more aware of what I wanted. “Get out of here,” he said coldly, watching me even while his dismissive tone was addressed to the five omega girls who hesitated as their leader froze.

But Changbin’s resounding growl sent the girls scampering in the other direction. 

Meanwhile, Chan’s hand settled on my shoulder, urging me to come closer. My head thudded hard against Chan’s powerful chest, tears ruining the fabric of his t-shirt. I was shaking, hands clenched together while I swallowed painfully.

I could feel Changbin and Jisung’s presence, anxiously worried as they felt the full force of my frustration. “You should have told me,” Chan said, holding me close. “You didn’t deserve any of that.”

“Those girls,” Changbin started, voice thick with anger, “they’re the sluts.”

“How long?” Chan inquired, fingers lovely as they sorted through the strands of my hair.

“A while,” I offered vaguely, more concerned with the deliciously familiar scent of my alpha mate as I nosed along his collarbone. I could feel Changbin behind me, hands familiar on my hips. 

“I’m sorry, angel.”

Jisung’s lips brushed across my temple. “You can’t keep these things from us.”

However, above everything else, Chan’s voice was distinct and clear, reassuring and familiar.

“We’ll always keep you safe, Myah.”

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Present

I wanted to be brave, but I had never quite felt this helpless before. 

It had only been a day since I had abandoned my pack, but I was already miserable. Sadly, there was nobody around to support me this time. I was the outsider here while the other omega girls scampered around their rogue pack members. In fact, two of them were begging for Jaemin’s attention, submitting easily to their desires as he flirted. It was strange to watch the exchange considering the harsh way Jaemin had talked down to me.

I was brought back to reality by Jeno’s unwanted touch.

He traced the outline of Changbin’s mating mark. “These will have to go,” he said dismissively.

I trembled despite the close proximity of the fire. 

“Fuck her good, Jeno,” Jaemin sneered, holding his two omegas close. 

“She won’t be able to walk when I’m done with her,” Jeno promised, nipping at my ear. 

“Do it soon because they might be able to track her,” Rejun suddenly inserted, gaze cautious as he glanced around our unorthodox camp set-up. 

“They won’t have a claim when I’m done,” Jeno said. “You don’t need those alphas anyway, omega.”

He was wrong, but I couldn’t say anything. After all, I had willingly compromised with the intimidating alpha for the safety of my pack. And while I still believed in my decision, I also couldn’t help but long for the familiarity of home and my three mates.

“Take her now,” Renjun urged, nodding towards one of the tents. “Do it fast before they become a problem.”

I didn’t wince when Jeno roughly grabbed me, forcing me up while he practically drug me into his tent. I landed roughly on the mattress, whimpering despite my attempts to remain strong against the alpha. He was over me in the next second, baring his teeth to intimidate my wolf. I could feel her inside me, bowing her head shamefully as the fight slowly left my body.

“You’ll just take it,” Jeno growled approvingly, leaning down to mouth at my scent gland. “Like a good little bitch.”

I was forced onto my stomach, whining loudly as the alpha jerked off my pants. “And you can take my knot tonight,” he continued, “and I’ll claim you for myself.”

In moments like this, I wish I could simply pretend that everything was okay. It seemed obvious to try and imagine myself in a better situation, that maybe I could pretend it was Jisung or Changbin or Chan with me instead of Jeno. But I guess I didn't have enough experience with that so I was stuck dealing with the consequences.

“You have good sense,” Jeno said, fingers rough and messy. “You’ll be quiet, won’t you? Just let me do what I want.”

I growled out a warning but didn’t fight back when I heard the sound of his belt. His body was too warm over mine, hands wrong when they touched my hips to adjust my position, and my senses were assaulted with his appalling musky scent. My wolf was bristling, pacing anxiously because she knew what was about to happen but had no idea how we could stop it from happening. 

“Jeno,” a tentative voice suddenly interrupted.

I sighed in relief when Jeno pulled back, growling in frustration. “What is it?”

The rogue wolf didn’t even react despite my compromising position with the alpha. “Jeno,” he said, “a patrol spotted wolves not far from the campsite.”

“Is it her pack?” Jeno asked, glaring down at me.

“We think it is.”

Jeno sighed audibly. “Tell Jaemin and Renjun to gather some wolves together to check out the report. The rest of us will stay behind to pack up the camp, we’ll have to leave tonight as a precaution.”

“Yes sir,” the wolf agreed, retreating quietly from the tent.

“You got lucky this time,” Jeno snapped in my ear and I was graciously left alone to deal with the stray tears that had fallen.

[annes-andromeda]

Ragnarök: Asgard’s Twilight

Chapter 7: Vanaheim 

N/: I had to literally search up shit like Astronomy, Astrophysics, Cosmology, Physics, and bunch of theories just to make this make sense and not look like I was pulling it out my ass.

What is she doing here?

Our rangers scouted her out within the forest.

She should be in Midgard, not Vanaheim!

Take her to the healers. A fall like that could’ve severely damaged her.

Foster...

Jane’s eyes shot open, her body aching. She was covered in blankets and lying in a bed. Getting up, Jane adjusted to her surroundings. The ceiling was covered in trunks of wood and leaves. Golden dust fell from the trees, falling onto the fabric of the blankets.

Getting up, Jane could see a dress piled upon a chair next to the bed. It was a gorgeous shade of blue with purple lining and an armored corset.

Looking around, Jane tried making sense of where she was. Her head was still aching, and she noticed that her arms had bruises of yellow and purple, possibly from the fall.

The fall...That’s right. Hela had pushed her out of the Bifrost, separating her from Thor and Loki. Once her body was out of the bridge, Jane felt her breathing full on stop. The feeling of her heartbeat pausing and her body freezing was horrible.

She then felt her heart drop as she moved around the bed feeling for her diary. Jane then sighed as she found it on a small table, seemingly untouched. Jane couldn’t handle having her research being taken for her yet again. Only if it was lost, she was sure she couldn’t sue some thousand year old aliens.

A knock was then heard from the door, causing Jane to jump slightly. She took a deep breath and straightened herself “Come in” she said

The door opened, and a familiar dark beauty poked out. Lady Sif greeted Jane with a warm smile, her deep eyes piercing, yet inviting. She was clad in silver armor and red cloth, and her hair as black as night was tied back to frame her face.

“You took quite a fall there, Ms. Foster” Sif said, standing at the doorway “Had you not been found in the forests, the void of space surely would have killed you”

Jane got up from the bed “Where am I?”

“Vanaheim” Sif answered “My home. Still not sure how you were able to be here in the first place, but know that you are welcome here. The Vanir are not as...skeptic as the Aesir”

“Thor” Jane said abruptly “Have you seen him? A-And Loki? Is there anything on them?”

Sif’s brows furrowed “Loki? Loki is dead. What are you talking about? Jane, what happened with Thor?“

”Th-There was this woman. And she pushed me out the Bifrost. I-I don’t know what happened. I-“

Sif shushed her quietly, seeing the distress in Jane’s eyes “Calm now, Foster. I need you to remain calm. What was it that happened”

Jane stopped for a moment, and looked directly at Sif “I need to see Heimdall”

———————————————————————————————————–

The two ladies walked across the halls of the building, Jane now wearing the dress left for her. Sif took her outside, where bond fires and large tents were put up. Some of the people looked at Jane with curious eyes, which she replied with a bewildered gaze of her own. There were rock trolls and ogres within the camp, working at their weapons or conversing with some of the Vanir.

They then stopped at a tent with bodyguards, Sif stepping out of the way for Jane to go in first. She could see a man talking with some soldiers, and Jane could recognize the familiar voice.

“Excuse me-“ Jane then froze as the man turned to look at her. Heimdall no longer wore a large helmet and golden armor. He donned a dark poncho with leather, and his hair was much longer. No longer did he look like an imposing figure, but someone who appeared somber, yet inviting.

Jane turned her head “Oh wow...” she muttered under her breath before clearing her throat “Heimdall, something’s happened. Thor-“

“No need to inform me, Jane Foster” Heimdall interrupted “I know what was happened with Thor and Loki”

Sif was heard gasping lightly as she moved in front of Jane “You mean...it’s true? Loki is alive?”

“Yes” Heimdall answered. He turned back to the group, resting his hands on the table “It seems the God of Mischief survived his wounds in Svartalheim”

“So he paraded as Odin this whole time?” Sif asked

“Seems so. My eyes have seen what has happened to Thor. I never thought I’d see this in my lifetime. Never could have imagined the day would come”

“Brother” Sif said “What is it?”

Jane’s brows furrowed. Brother? That was new. Mirroring Sif’s actions, Jane moved to the side of the table, looking to Heimdall.

His golden eyes were fixed on both of them “It is Ragnarök. The twilight of the gods has begun. Hela of Niffleheim has escaped her prison, and she is on her way to Asgard as we speak”

Murmurs could be heard from the other men, murmurs of fear and shock “What about Thor and Loki?”

“I cannot see them anymore. Hela has pushed them far beyond my reach”

Sif exasperated “Well then how in Bor’s name are we supposed to find them?!”

Heimdall put his hands up “Calm now, sister. We will find them. All we need is a correct course of action. Hela is far more powerful than any of us realize”

The tent fell silent at Heimdall’s words “We must be cautious”

Jane was about to speak but then, a familiar noise came from outside. Almost like...Bifrost? Everyone immediately ran out the tent to see what it was. Volstagg and Fandral were moving through the crowd, pushing past the people and telling them that it was urgent.

“Heimdall!” Fandral exclaimed “Lady Sif! Most terrible news!”

Volstagg pushed in front of him “Tis Hela! She has taken the throne of Asgard and proclaimed the All-Father dead!

Everyone gasped in shock, with Heimdall’s golden eyes widening as he turned to Jane “Is this true?”

Jane nodded “Yes. Hela put a sword through his chest and took the Odin force”

“The Odin force?!” Sif said in shock “With that sort of power she would be impenetrable. Not even a thousand men could stop her!”

“What must we do?” Fandral asked “With Odin gone and Thor absent, Asgard is at Hela’s mercy. Ragnarök will come and we’ll have no way to stop it! All of the Aesir will die. Men, women, children!”

Volstagg grumbled “Absolutely not! We mustn’t let all those innocent lives fall by the hands of that murderous she-devil! Whatever actions need taken, we need to proceed now!”

“What will we do with the men we have?” Hogun said, stepping forward “Even if we manage to acquire a weapon more powerful than her, it will not stop the inevitable destruction that will befall Asgard”

Fandral agree with Volstagg “Which is why we must retaliate this very moment!”

“No!” Jane exclaimed. Everyone turned to look, causing her to feel rather awkward. But Jane stood her ground nonetheless “You don’t know what Hela is capable of! Most of you have only heard of her from stories told by your parents or your nannies. We can’t just use brute strength and luck”

“Then what do we need?” Sif asked

Jane stopped for a moment, trying to think. Her technology would be really handy right now, if weren’t for the fact that were currently on Earth. And she doubts it would stop the Goddess of Death.

But then, something clicked in her brain. She couldn’t guarantee this would work, but it was well worth a try.

Jane grabbed Heimdall by his arm to get his attention further

“Do you guys have a library I could use?”

———————————————————————————————————–

Everyone around her looked at Jane like she was crazy. Most of them were seasoned warriors who, although highly skilled and intelligent, seemed to take less interest in books and more in weaponry. But Heimdall was almost hopeful, letting Jane take the reins from there.

When rummaging through the shelfs, she eventually made it to one book that had the rune of Asgard on the cover, alongside the runes of the other eight realms circling it. Jane carefully went down the ladder and placed the book atop a table.

“On Earth, we’re told that Ragnarök is basically the end of the world” Jane explained, flipping the pages of the book before stopping at one with Yggdrasil. Before she proceeds, she turns to Heimdall “What do your people know of Ragnarök?”

Heimdall raised an eyebrow “It’s as you said: it is the end of all things and of Asgard”

Jane put her finger up “Except that’s not all. On Earth, we’re taught that Ragnarök begins with a Great Winter that’ll cover the world in snow. Food becomes scarce and people will slaughter each other for survival. The stars will fade, the World Tree will tremble, and the monstrous wolf Fenris will break free of his chains to swallow the Sun whole. His brother Jormungand shall rise from Midgard’s ocean and spit his venom into the world, poisoning the land and the water”

She continued “Surtur will march on Bifrost with his army, all the while Heimdall blows the Gjallarhorn to announce the coming of Ragnarök. Odin is killed by Fenris, Heimdall and Loki slaughter each other, and Thor dies by Jormungand’s poison. The rest of the world falls into the sea, leaving nothing but an endless void”

The Warriors Three, Sif, and Heimdall had looks on their faces that could only be described as true horror.

“All my years of long life “Heimdall rasped “I had only been told that Ragnarök was impossible. A story meant to show that all beginnings have an end. But this-“

“It’s death” Fandral interrupted, his face pale “That’s all it is; nothing but endless death to our world. To our people. To ourselves”

Volstagg growled angrily “This cannot be! Ragnarök was not supposed to come within our lifetime! Now, we have no choice but to prepare ourselves!”

“We could not have known!” Hogun stepped in “The end of our world is unbeknownst to all but the Norns who oversee the roots of Yggdrasil”

“But the signs!” Volstagg exclaimed “If Ragnarök was something that needed warning, then there must’ve been an eternal winter!”

“Which is exactly my point!” Jane finally spoke above the Warriors Three, their attention focusing on her again. She sighed before speaking, trying not to sound stressed or worried “I’m what humans call an Astrophysicist; I merge chemistry and physics together to learn about different celestial bodies. But to be in this profession, I had to also study Astronomy and Cosmology”

“Yes, we know about Midgard and your science” Sif commented. The words may have come out condescending, but her tone begged to differ

Jane flashed an awkward smile at the beautiful warrior goddess “We essentially have theories where we try to explain how the universe was created. There’s the most famous one, the Big Bang Theory, which says the our universe began with a cosmic explosion that created everything”

“Preposterous” Volstagg muttered “Everyone knows that it was Odin and his brothers, who slew the Frost Giant Ymir, that created the cosmos”

Heimdall shushed him immediately, allowing Jane to proceed. Jane sighed “Anyways...we also have theories talking about the end of the universe, like the Big Rip theory and the Big Crunch theory. Then there’s theories saying the universe will only expand further until it’s too cold to sustain any life, like Big Chill”

“So?” Fandral asked “What’s your point?”

“My point,” Jane retorted “Is that like you, humans have spoken about the end of all things too. But, as I explained, I am a Astrophysicist. Most of the theories I’ve stated have yet to come to fruition or proven to be true. Just like I know Astronomy and Cosmology, I also know Physics. And one of the most famous laws, primarily Newton’s laws, explains that an object will remain at rest until a external force acts upon it”

Sif’s eyes lit up, almost as if she beginning to understand “It’s almost like battle” She said “One person may have a plan to stop armed forces, but it can only be successful if the ones behind it act on that strategy”

Jane smiled “Yes!” She exclaimed happily “Yes, exactly! We have another law that says that for everything action, there is an equal and opposite reaction” Jane returned to the book and pointed at the World Tree “That could be what’s happening with Ragnarök. There must’ve been some sort of act that caused the event to change. Even though Ragnarök has begun, it’s already far more different than in the story!”

The Warriors and Heimdall looked at each other “You’re right...” Heimdall agreed “If your Midgardian myths are to be believed, then Hela had no part to play in Ragnarök. And Odin was supposed to be slain by Fenris, yet here he is, skewed by Hela’s hand”

“And also” Jane added “In Norse myth, Hela is supposed to be Loki’s daughter. But as far as we know, he hasn’t shown interest in anyone romantically”

“What?” Sif said, her brow furrowing

Jane pursed her lips “Odin said that Hela is actually his daughter from Jord, who’s basically the Nordic Mother Nature. Hela also gave birth to Loki, making her his mother and Thor's sister. Since she’s older than Thor, she was able to get the Odin force despite Odin naming Thor the new All-Father”

Everyone looked at each other in shock. So many words in so little time, they thought

Hogun looked to Jane “With all this information, it must mean that perhaps there might be a way to slow Ragnarök before it ends Asgard. Although Hela rules Niffleheim, she cannot raise souls from the dead, merely tend to them or control them”

“And she must have some sort of weakness” Fandral added “Even someone as powerful as Odin managed to have shortcomings”

“So what can we do?” Sif asked Jane. They all looked to the mortal girl, who tried to avert eye contact. Jane had never been given this much leadership freedom before. She felt she was useless on Asgard. She couldn’t fight or wield a sword like Lady Sif, and yet, here she was, looking to a mere mortal for guidance.

Jane felt an almost adrenaline rushing through her “We need to conduct a plan to take the Aesir out of Asgard and stop Hela. You think you guys can handle that?”

The Warriors Three nodded “We are at your most humble service, Lady Jane!” Volstagg proclaimed

”Good” Jane said before looking to Heimdall “While the Warriors do that, we need to build Gjallarhorn for you to sound. I know you have your all seeing magic, but we need to warn everyone, not just Asgard”

Heimdall nodded “I will have the craftsmen mine the strongest metals to construct it. With my eyes and my horn, I shall be able to send out the warning of the inevitable twilight”

Jane clasped her hands together and smiled “Alright then, let’s get started”

The Warriors Three left the library, Heimdall staying to stare at Jane with a smile “You burn brighter than any star I’ve ever seen, Jane Foster” Heimdall said proudly “It is no wonder the Valkyrie have called to you in slumber.

Jane’s mouth was agape “You...You know about that?”

”I hear their voices from the halls of Valhalla” Heimdall commented “Although their physical bodies have been lost, their spirits live on and protect the fallen in battle” He put a hand on Jane’s shoulder “Due to our circumstances, I am unable to fully help you. But perhaps my sister might be of service”

They both looked at Sif who was rummaging through the pages of the book “Great” Jane’s voice broke the pregnant silence, and she waved at Sif “Hey, are your coming?”

Sif only nodded halfheartedly “Yes, I’ll be with you in just a moment. You go ahead, I’ll meet with you shortly”

With that, Heimdall and Jane left the library, with only Sif in the room. She kept looking through the pages, until she stopped at one. Atop the paragraph, it read her name in runic text. Sif trapped the paper with the pads of her fingers, stopping at the first few sentences:

Lady Sif, the Dark-Haired Daughter of Asgard, Fairest of The Fair, Gentlest of The Gentle. The Unstoppable, The Stunning, the shield maiden of Asgard. Sister of The Good Heimdall, Daughter of the Vanir, Goddess of War, of The Hunt-

The last sentence was off.

Sif could see that the page had been tampered with, as the words ‘Goddess of War, of The Hunt” were clearly added in. She tried to see what text was underneath, but her efforts had failed. Sif could only sigh and close the book, walking out the library to return to Jane’s company.

[tropicalsuki]

Ugly Needs (pt. 2) - Billy Hargrove x Hopper!reader

I got over 15 requests for part two, so here we are! Thank you so so much for all the love! 

original request: “One where the reader is Hopper’s daughter and dating Billy, and he starts getting abusive? Like maybe it starts with her coming home and him and El notice the bruise/s but she lies and then EI, and Max and the rest of the gang figure it out and try to help her bc she’s in denial bc she loves him. I was just thinking some girl power and maybe some protective Hopper haha” - anon

warnings: fem pronouns, language, discussion of abuse, bad coping strategies, underage drinking, making out

word count: 3,112

A/N: back for part two!!! There’s gonna be more overprotective Hop and bonding between the reader and El in this part. Hope you all love it!

PART ONE

--------

You fell asleep curled up on the couch in your dad’s arms. 

And when you woke up, he was gone. El was sitting on the chair across from you, watching you sleep. 

“Where’s Dad?” you asked groggily, sitting up. You looked around to see Max asleep on the floor by your side. 

“Billy,” El answered simply, 

“Why would he be at Billy’s?” you were confused for a brief moment before the events of last night all came back to you like a tidal wave, and you were immediately wide awake, “What? No, I told him not to hurt Billy. I told him no!” 

“But he deserves it.” El frowned.

“No, you don’t understand... it’ll only make things worse!”

Your panicked voice woke up Max and she sat up, yawning, “what’s worse?”

You ignored her and started towards the front door but El turned the locks as soon as you grabbed the handle. 

“El-” you started but she shook her head, “Hop said you stay home.”

“Fuck what Hop says!” you said angrily and yanked on the door but it was no use. You pressed your back against the door and sunk to the floor, burying your head in your hands. You felt lightheaded and scared; scared of what Billy might do when you see him next; scared of moving forward without him. 

Max glanced over at El before going and sitting next to you, taking a deep breath before speaking, “I know what it’s like. I've lived with Billy for a long time, and I know what it’s like. But once I found help, and new people to surround myself with, things got better. You’re not alone.”

You slowly lifted your head and looked at her, “but I am alone. It’s different. He... he’s done different things to me. And I don’t know how I can separate myself from him after that... I don’t know if I want to.”

“I’m trying to understand why you don’t hate him, but I just can’t!” Max huffed. 

“I don’t know how to explain it. He’s just been such a big part of my life for the past year and I really do believe he’s struggling with something. He needs me, and I love him,” you tried to explain. 

“But does he love you?” El asked from across the room.

You had to think about that. Billy said he loved you, but now you weren’t sure he really meant it, “I don’t know.”

“If it’s not too soon to talk about it, when did this all start? The hitting?” Max prodded gently

You let out a shaky breath, “It didn’t start with hitting. About two months ago he stopped taking no for an answer and would pester me until I gave in to what he wanted... but then it turned into him getting angry over every little thing I did wrong. I was on eggshells around him.”

Max didn’t know what else to say, so she just hugged you, her thin arms wrapped around your shoulders. You leaned into it, needing the girl’s comfort. You knew Max was the only one of the group who had any idea what you were going through. 

You heard a car pull up outside and you sighed. “I don’t want to talk to him right now. Tell him I’m asleep,” You stood up and started towards your room, shutting the door behind you just as the front door opened. 

Hopper walked inside and looked at Max and El before going over to the sink and washing some blood off his hands. 

“How bad did you hurt him?” Max asked, a frown of her face. 

“Just enough to get the point across... where’s Y/n?” Hopper responded, grabbing the dish towel and drying off his hands. 

“Asleep,” El said. 

Hopper just nodded, “good she needs it.”

You stayed in your room for the rest of the day, listening to music and barely leaving your bed. 

It was the same routine the next day, but Hopper didn’t press you, knowing you needed to work some things through. He came in the evening and knocked lightly on the door, “hey, kiddo?”

“Yeah?” you called, your voice muffled by the blanket. 

Hopper poked his head in with a worried expression, “your sister is at Mike’s house with her friends, and I just got a call I need to go handle. Are you ok to be by yourself?” 

“I’ll be fine,” you assured, sitting up in your bed. 

Your dad nodded, “OK. Dinner is in the microwave; I’ll be home in an hour.”

You watched as he disappeared from your doorway and waited for the sound of the front door shutting before you got up and started towards the kitchen. You were starving, but all there was were a few TV dinners that you couldn’t force yourself to eat. About to give up and head back to your room, a shiny bottle poking out of a cabinet caught your eye and stopped you dead in your tracks.

You knew what it was, and you knew you should stay away, but your body ignored those thoughts and reached over, pulling the vodka off the shelf. Hopper would be pissed if he found out you drank his stash, but who said he had to find out? 

Plus it was for a good reason, you told yourself, you needed it. 

You popped off the cork and started back towards your room. Dropping down on the floor with your back against the bedframe, you took a large swig from the bottle, enjoying the burn that came with it. 

It wasn’t your first time drinking. Far from it. But it was your first time drinking to forget. 

You crawled over to your record player and put on your old Pink Floyd album, disappearing into the sound. You drank nearly half the bottle and swayed around, completely forgetting why you were upset in the first place. 

The buzz of the alcohol took over you, and all you could think about was how good you felt... and how much you wanted his kiss Billy. What was stopping you from calling him right now? Nothing, that’s what. You stumbled over to the phone and dialed his number, twirling the cord around your finger as you waited. 

“Hello?”

His voice made you grin, “hiiiii, Billy! Can you come over? My family isn’t home and I just want to kiss you so fucking badly,” you said into the phone, giggling to yourself. 

The other end was silent.

“Billy? Are you there?” you asked with a hiccup. 

You heard the line cut off. Billy hung up on you. But you didn’t seem to mind too much, dropping the phone with a shrug and dancing back into your room, laughing as you fell onto the carpet. 

Reaching for the bottle, you downed a bit more, feeling another wave of bliss wash over you like a warm blanket. You heard a voice from the living room calling your name. 

“Billy?” you asked hopefully, but the face that appeared in the doorway was that of your father’s. Had it been an hour already?

“Daadd! Hi!” you grinned, attempting to get up but falling against El’s bed and giggling. 

“Y/n, what the hell did you do?” Hopper demanded, taking the bottle from your hand. It may have just been the blur in your vision, but his face looked as red as fire. 

“I had a drink,” you replied and your dad laughed incredulously, “yeah, I can see that. You’re in deep shit.”  

“Why? I just had like... one sip,” you said but the slur in your words made your lie obvious. 

“I can’t fucking believe you, Y/n. I leave you alone for an hour and this is what you do,” Hopper walked over and grabbed your arm, but as he lurched you upward, you felt a sudden wave of nausea. Your dad let go of you, but you didn’t realize why until you saw the puke all over his shoes. 

“Did I do that?” You asked seriously, looking ready to throw up again. 

“Goddammit, Y/n!” Hopper yelled and shoved a trash can in your face before deserting his shoes and running to the kitchen.

You felt another wave and buried your face in the trashcan. Most of what came after was a blur. 

-

You woke up around noon the next day with the headache of a lifetime and El standing over you. 

“What do you want?” you groaned, pulling the blanket over your head. El pulled it back down, “take us to the mall.”

“Us?” you glared at her.

“Max. She is waiting.”

“You’re insane,” you threw a pillow at El and shifted so your back was to her. 

“Hop said you have to take us,” El stated. 

You rolled your eyes, “you’re lying, ‘cause Hop said I’m grounded.”

“And now I’m saying take your sister to the mall,” your dad called from the living room.

“What if Billy’s there?” you asked El quietly, scared of what he would do if you ran into him after what happened. 

“Billy won’t be there. He’s working at the pool all day today,” Max said as she walked into the bedroom.

You groaned, rolling out of bed and onto the floor, “Jesus Christ, fine. Give me an hour and we can go.”

-

The bright lights and large crowds of Starcourt Mall did little to ease your hangover. It felt like you were inside a fishbowl and every noise around you blurred into one obnoxious mass. You blindly followed El through each store, not listening to anything she or Max said. 

As you were leaning against the wall outside of JCPenny, waiting for your sister and her friend to finish up, you had the faint sensation of being watched. You turned to your left and nearly had a heart attack when you saw Billy a little ways away, staring at you intently. 

He was supposed to be working. This wasn’t supposed to be happening. Max had lied, and you were scared. 

But instead of coming over to you, Billy just gave you a nod and disappeared through a door marked for employees only. 

You don’t know why you followed, but your feet started moving before your brain could argue. 

Looking around to make sure no one was watching you, you slipped through the door and stood face to face with Billy. As you stared at him, you noticed the black eye and busted lip decorating his face. You wouldn’t admit it aloud, but it felt good seeing him like that. It felt like justice. 

Your hand was still on the handle, ready to bolt at any moment, when you let out a small, “hi.”

You wanted to slap yourself for sounding so weak. 

“Hi,” Billy said back, waiting expectantly for more words from you, but you had none. What did he want you to say? That you were sorry? You weren’t sorry. That you didn’t know your dad was going to come to Billy’s house? You didn’t know, but saying that won’t make things any different. 

You just stared at him, his blue eyes searching yours for answers. Why were you having trouble breathing? He was so close... so, so close. 

And the next thing you knew, you were pressed against the wall, kissing each other as passionately as you could without drowning in the moment. His hands were running through your hair and his breath was hot against your skin and your mind was screaming at you to stop.

stop. why are you doing this? after everything he did? you should be furious, you should be far away; anywhere but here. 

But you were suffocating with desire and those thoughts were small in comparison to the current running through you that told you to keep going.

Your skirt was bunched up at the waist and your legs were wrapped around the boy in front of you and as he trailed kisses down your neck, self-control went out the window. 

Your savior came in the form of a delivery man, carting boxes down the hallway and rounding the corner to find the compromising position you had gotten yourselves in. 

“Hey! Get the hell out of here! Employees only; read the damn signs!” the man yelled and you pulled away from Billy, staring at him in shock. 

“I-I have to go,” you pushed past your boyfriend and ran. 

You ran until Billy was far behind you, and there was nothing but gray walls and unmarked doors. 

God, you were so stupid. 

Grabbing the handle to the closest door, you pushed your way through and found yourself in the backroom of none other than Scoops Ahoy. 

“Y/n?” a muffled voice asked, and you turned to see Steve staring at you in surprise, his mouth stuffed with whatever he had for lunch. 

“I-Steve, hey-uh, sorry-,” you stuttered, not wanted to explain what just happened and unable to come up with an excuse. 

“Everything... okay?” Steve asked slowly. You could tell he was concerned. For good reason, you had to admit. 

“Yeah, yeah I’m fine. Just got lost... looking for the bathroom,” you visibly cringed at your shitty excuse, but gave Steve no time to respond as you rushed out the other door and into the busy food court. 

You needed to get out of here. You needed fresh air. 

You pushed your way through the crowds and out the main entrance. Max and El were waiting by one of the pillars and ran over when they saw you.

“Y/n! Where the hell did you go?” Max demanded. 

“We were worried,” El added. 

You smoothed out your shirt, giving them a reassuring smile, “I went to the bathroom; wasn’t feeling too hot. But everything is fine now. You girls ready to go?”

You didn’t wait for them to respond, starting towards the car at a quick pace. El and Max exchanged a look before hurrying after you.

The drive home was a quiet one. You said nothing, and El and Max didn’t know how to fill the uncomfortable silence. 

Once you got home, you locked yourself up in the bedroom and didn’t come out for the rest of the night. El wanted to say something, but Max told her to give you some space. 

I was late in the night, and you were laying in your bed, staring up at the darkness, cursing yourself for being so damn stupid at the mall today. 

You looked over at the other bed, “El? You awake?” 

“Yes,” El’s small voice made you sit up, letting out a deep breath. 

“I ran into Billy at the mall today,” you stated. You saw her faint figure sit up as well, and you were thankful you couldn't see her face.

“Max said he worked,” El said. 

“Yeah, she was wrong. He saw me and we went into a back hallway to talk and- god, I need help,” you groaned, falling back onto your bed. El looked at you a moment before getting out of her bed and coming to sit next to you. 

“Did he hurt you?” she asked quietly. 

“No, he didn’t. The exact opposite, actually... I know he’s bad for me. I know you and Max are right and I need to take care of myself before trying to fix others, but I love him. And I can’t change that. The only thing I know to do it cut him out entirely, ‘cause if I talk to him alone again I’ll end up right back where I started,” you ranted to her, hoping she had something wise or helpful to say. 

El was silent for a long moment.

 “Dump his ass,” she finally stated in a firm voice, and you couldn’t help but laugh. 

“Why laugh?” El frowned.

“Sorry... that just made me really happy,” you smiled, “you’re right. I need to dump his ass. I need to disconnect from his toxicity and hope he fixes whatever is plaguing him because I, Y/n Hopper, am not responsible for his demons!” you announced loudly.

El went to shush you but you just pulled her into a tight hug, rolling over as she tried to wiggle away from you. 

-

The following morning was much better than the last. You woke up early and had breakfast with El while Hopper got ready for work. As he was leaving for the door, you stood up and looked at him nervously, “Dad?”

Hopper stopped and looked at you, “what do you need?”

“I was wondering if maybe you could go into work a bit late today... I need your help with something,” you said. 

Hopper looked at you carefully and noticed those little ticks you got when you were nervous. He put his hat down and walked towards the kitchen area, “what’s up kiddo?”

You took a deep breath, “I need you to drive me to Billy’s house. I want to-” you glanced at El, “-I want to break up with him. And I just, I need the additional support.”

Your dad pulled you into a tight hug, “work can wait. I’m proud of you.”

You smiled, appreciating the hug for a moment before moving away, “let’s go before I change my mind.”

You got the car with El and your dad and drove to Billy’s house for what was hopefully the last time. Parking on the street, you got out and started towards the front door as Hop and El waited in the car. 

Knocking on the door, you were partially hoping Billy wasn’t home. You heard the turn of a lock and were met with his beautiful face. 

“Y/n, hey... come to apologize for running away yesterday? Or did you want to finish what we started?” Billy leaned against the doorframe, giving you his signature smirk. 

Part of you really wanted to push Billy inside and do dirty things to him, but an even bigger part of you just wanted to be happy, and you couldn’t do that if you were with him. 

“Actually, I came to say... I think we should break up,” you said confidently. 

Billy’s expression darkened, “you’re not serious, Y/n. We’ve been together over a year.”

“I know. But I found people in my life who showed me that what we have isn’t healthy. So, basically... I dump your ass,” you spun around on the heels of your shoes and started back to the car, a smile on your face. 

“You’re gonna regret this!” Billy yelled after you. 

Maybe you would regret it. Maybe you wouldn’t. But right now all that mattered was the feeling of a weight being lifted as you walked towards the two supportive faces smiling at you from the car. 

And honestly, that was enough.

-

End.

tagging every non-anon who asked for part two! thank you all <3

@tonight-upontheroof @m9rs @maybeuniveres @spidey-the-killer-queen @diamondgoddess16 @anchy-bananchy @void-fire-rose @cryinghazelnutt @creativedogs @sheerfreddieattack @slytherinintj13

[brandtmax]

welcome back to gallagher academy, soo-yun ‘maxine’ brandt ! according to their records, they’re a first year, specializing in research & development; and they did not go to a spy prep high school. when i see them walking around in the halls, i usually see a flash of ( sugar-free mints, a messy low bun, wisps of hair alongside her face, the end of a pen between her teeth, the patek philippe calatrava 4897r-010 in rose gold, off-white pants in every fabric ). when it’s the ( virgo ) ’s birthday on 08/23/1997, they always request their japchae from the school’s chefs. looks like they’re well on their way to graduation. 

henlo it me again i hope u guys aren’t sick of me yet bc i have a new bby named max! i’ve written a lot™️ so brace urself but it’s worth it ( i think ) + trigger warnings: death and alcohol dependency under the cut xxx

the basics

full name: soo-yun ‘ maxine ’ brandt

nicknames: max — just max

age: twenty-two years old

birthday: august 23rd, 1997

gender: cis female

preferred pronouns: she / her

sexuality: bisexual

major: research & development (  formerly a b.a. political science degree from yale university )

known languages: english ( native ) / german ( native ) / korean ( native )

background

nationality: american

birthplace: new haven, connecticut, new hampshire

current location: gallagher academy, roseville, virginia

financial status: upper class

religion: non-theistic

appearance

eye color: brown

hair color: black

height: 5′8.5″

notable features: curly hair on lazy days, rosy cheeks

usual mood and expression: calm, furrowed eyebrows whenever her eyes are on work; lethargic and irritable when she’s overworked ( or without alcohol )

family

birth order: second born

parents: soon-bok ‘ vivian ’ jang and stephen brandt ( d. 2018 )

siblings: min-jun ‘ parker ’ brandt ( b. 1995 ) & georgia ‘ gigi ’ brandt ( b. 2001 )

significant others: chris harmon ( 2013-2015 ) / ava carrillo ( 2015-2016 )

her story so far (this is so long n serious lol)

soo-yun 'maxine' brandt was born and raised in new haven, connecticut, to jang soon-bok ( vivian ), a surgeon, and stephen brandt, a ( n allegedly shady ) criminal justice lawyer.

the brandt siblings were raised like any other blue-blooded, very strict but loving household ( strict = mom / loving = dad )

brandt house rules: get straight a’s, follow the 12 am curfew and don't bring anyone home that you know you’d get disowned for. follow those three rules, and you can do whatever you want.

there was pressure for the brandt siblings to be academically accomplished, but it wasn't anything they couldn't handle. they were well-tutored, semi-popular, attractive teenagers, which were common in new haven, and everyone knew they were destined for ivy league.

in high school, she dated chris harmon, and it was the kind of relationship that could only be described as the personification of a kinder egg. sweet on the outside, a waste of time and money on the inside.

which is fine; it took max about 2 months to get over it when they broke up halfway through senior year, because neither of them thought of their relationship going far. the joy of getting into yale ( already expected ) trumped the feeling of losing a boyfriend. she even bet parker $5,000 she'd get early admission. she won.

during college, she had an on-off relationship with ava carrillo for a year, which inevitably became a permanent off. it turned out that it wasn't a good idea to throw herself into a committed relationship the minute she stepped foot into yale. max never had the time, and ava didn't have the patience. at least she tried it tho !

things seemed to be on the up and up for their family, and the worst thing max has ever been through is being awake for 24 straight hours to prepare for a final presentation. but ! you know what they say about the calm before the storm.

( tw: death ) on december 18, 2018, their father unexpectedly passed away from a heart attack during a layover flight in new york. the brandt family was at home when they heard the news. needless to say, they had a quiet christmas and new year.

the family tried to move on as best they could, but the siblings knew their dad's death irreversibly changed their mom. they have a rocky relationship to begin with, the siblings always feeling like vivian never wanted to become a parent and only did so for their father. they have absolutely no mother-children bond, and it got worse when stephen died. being the older brother, parker took it upon himself to take care of vivian, balancing that with running the home stretch with his undergrad degree.

on the other hand, maxine still had a few years left at yale. no amount of therapy helped her cope with the loss of her father, the way her mother seemed to become a shell of herself, how parker had to break the momentum of his career to be there for their mom, and the constant pressure to do good academically.

( tw: alcohol dependency ) it started with buying bottled moscow mules because she didn't like how beer tasted, and she wasn't dumb enough to go straight to hard liquor. just one to take the edge off whenever stacks of coursework became too much, or when her mother would send her an email talking about her day, and she didn't have the courage to read it. then it went from a one, two, three-time thing to a whenever-i'm-upset thing, which slid into a whenever-i-feel-like-it thing. after a while, it became a daylight thing where she would add a splash of soju ( or whatever ) to her lunchtime drinks, and she genuinely thought it was just a funny idea at first. max wasn't the only day drinker in her social group, anyway. she found it acceptable, no different than how other people would pound red bull every 6 hours like it's their life force. it was manageable for her since she was able to schedule when she'd be indisposed, and she still can.

parker had ( and still has ) no clue. despite the two being close, max spared him the burden of having another thing to worry about. as long as she can control it ( or she thinks she can ) then nobody had anything to worry about.

eventually, both maxine and parker were offered the opportunity to join gallagher academy, with parker in line to graduate with honors in global affairs and maxine, not far behind with her own impressive academic portfolio in political science.

though really, her acceptance into gallagher has less to do with her published papers ( still impressive, tho ) and more to do with her covertly helping her father win cases by doing some expert sleuthing, strategizing, witness dispatching + discrediting, sexc breaking and entering, and good, old-fashioned manipulation !

it was something they both wanted; to be a part of the bigger picture in the world, but they knew they couldn't leave their mother alone. parker, who chose to make the sacrifice, let maxine go and stayed behind to take care of vivian.

( but if we’re honest, maxine would’ve left for gallagher regardless if parker was coming with her, but she’ll never tell him that )

despite the guilt and telling parker she wasn't going anywhere ( cough ), he insisted on her taking the once-in-a-lifetime chance to be a part of something they never knew existed. he knew they were going to end up resenting each other if they both stayed. at least one person in the family should be doing something that made them happy.

and so max dropped out of yale and left for roseville, even though she hadn't thoroughly planned out her career trajectory.

she’s eager not just because of the school, obviously. she can't handle going back to their childhood home and seeing how hollow everything is. plus, the immense anger and denial she feels over her dad’s untimely death has no place in new haven anymore.

she promised parker she'd make it up to him, though. somehow, someday.

who is this b*nch

max is relatively easy to get along with, tbh !

she’s a mood matcher; meaning if you’re nice to her, then she’s nice to you ( and if you’re gonna be a punk bitch, then she’ll be a punk bitch right back )

she’s a lil spoiled, lil sheltered, and lil ignorant but her general friendliness makes up for it, she’s the type to be friends with ( almost ) everyone

internally: perfectionist to the point of being ruthless, first place is the only acceptable place, meticulous, neurotic, workaholic, overachiever, if you’re not useful then what’s your purpose?, slightly egotistical, etc etc

externally: caring, protective, and supportive mom friend who just wants people to get their shit together because inadequacy is unacceptable, fixer, likes to dip into different social circles, consciously makes the effort to be more patient with people

she’s incredibly ambitious ? morally ambiguous ? slightly self-serving and self-involved ? her father’s a criminal “justice” lawyer whose clientele doesn’t exactly consist of the beacons of society so... she learned a lot of lessons about how you can win any case in the courtroom if you’re smart enough to a ) make a good story, b ) get the fitting evidence by any means necessary, c ) discredit and discard the necessary people, and d ) be charming and persuasive enough to rock the jury

she’s actively trying to be more open-minded and assimilate to a diverse group of people because back in yale she was definitely in a wasp bubble, and admittedly there are times where she will come off as super snobby without meaning to and tbh sorry about it

she’s still an extremely sociable person because yale also taught her how to network like a motherfucker, and how it’s important to know / be friends with everyone

honestly, intense people turn her off ( both positive and negative ) a little because she can't handle concentrated personalities in one sitting

even though she’s a little intense herself sometimes but it’s fine, we love hypocrites in this house !

neat freak ? but honestly who doesn’t like a friend who squeegees the shower every day and has a tiny can of lysol in their bag and an aroma diffuser with three ( 3 ) oil blends

she’s like... weirdly aggressive sometimes and most definitely has anger issues ( still in denial over her father unexpectedly passing away and getting stuck with a mom who doesn’t like her own children very much )

but also, she’s just agro in general and has a number of physical hobbies. she’s an ice skater, equestrian, a soulcyclist, and a kickboxer. she can fite.

she’s not the type to make fun of herself because she's not at a point where she sees qualities in her that are okay to laugh at ( unless you’re tight )

keeps her negative juju to herself because she’s a very private person

will prioritize work over play because she'd hardwired like that, but that doesn't mean she's anti-fun ( clearly )

definitely needs to loosen up a little that doesn't involve alcohol... jenga perhaps ? or actually try therapy again ?

very effectively sneaky about her growing alcohol dependency ( sugar-free breath mints, brushes her teeth + uses mouthwash after every meal )

dry sense of humor

at all times: wears a 1-carat, emerald cut, pavé diamond ring ( family heirloom ) + carries her trusty black hydro flask with her ( 24 oz. ) and no one is allowed to drink from it !

her signature scent is le labo bergamote 22 🤍

hmu on my discord @ tin#0697 for plottage !

[postcards-to-home]

Split Seconds: 2019

Amongst the dozen or so strangers around me I sit nuzzled between rows 6 &8. Philly lies some 10,000 feet below. The engine purrs softly with each flutter my eyes drift effortlessly towards stillness under the perpetuating night sky.

In dreams I see the faces of those I’ve met haphazardly in my travels. The students I bond with over memories of cheap wine and late-night thrills at Manly corso; the elderly who sit and chat with me about their grandchildren and medical procedures; even the uber drivers who share their love affairs found from words with friends. It’s the everything in-between crisscrossing the unconscious mind.

My new life I remind myself is in constant motion and so must I be. Zig-zaging terminals I curse under my breathe, praying to the lord for an on time departure. With my best friend in tow, my dingy gray suitcase, my day is a constant uphill battle of avoiding my ankles and slow-poke people.  A love affair in the constant throws of “F*ck my life,” & “ I have the greatest job of all time,” (said no one ever).

Mentally I was trained for this. Laughably this entire year I have captured a total of 3 weeks combined training from the two firms I have been employed by- and I can say I think I’m doing A-ok. My 1st job out of college I learned its okay to decide if something is or isn’t right for you. Its 100% okay to move on too- and fast, if a better opportunity arises. It also taught me the value of obtaining strong leader figures in the office. Not necessarily how to be a manager but how to observe what works, how to engage with others effectively and ultimately how not too.

Mistakes are inevitable.

On my very 1st business trip to Hunt Valley, Maryland for whatever reason a conversation was provoked among an older gentleman and I and we chatted the entire way. Come to find out this sharp older gentleman was once the CEO of a hospital in the capital district; a professor at USC and was heading south to see family. The value from this conversation will always be intangible. It was  the 1st time in my professional life I was able to speak not only about who I am as a person, But I  had someone engage in a conversation with me for no other reason than pure interest, and in a non- creepy way. We spoke of antiques, my on again/off again ebay career and content of college curriculum. He explained he managed a young Entrepreneurs group on campus and worked with students to gain shareholders in their startups.

Before we departed ways he said , “Thank you for the lovely chat, I feel deeply that you will be successful one day with whatever you choose to do. You should feel really proud of yourself with hat you’ve accomplished.” (Paraphrased)

It was his words that propelled me into an orbit of motion, setting what would be the tone for the year. In that moment I etched realization into my mind that my abilities generate power I never was aware I held. There was my small voice-heard and admired. Channeling it to engage the right audience became possible after that.

I left my 1st job after just 6 months. Without any regrets.  I sincerely miss mid-day banter with some of my co-workers, but thankfully we still stay in touch.

The road leading to my departure was a rocky one. Still living at home, thankful for my parents gratitude and safe haven I couldn’t help but feel left out of the mix from my peers. While they rounded of  their senior years I was strapped to a desk sifting through excel spreadsheets. In no way did I ever want to back track into the college scene, making money is and always will be exciting. But doing what I was doing, well not so much.

I accepted a position as a Regional Manager for the institution I studied abroad at as many of you have recognized. I am sincerely thankful for the support received throughout this half of my journey this year. I travel, I meet with students both future and former, I do paper work sporadically and I idle at my desk when necessary. It has forced me to both think outside of the box as well as use my voice as the ultimate creative outlet and driving force for success. My soundboard-everchanging day to day.

Through my position I’ve managed to make student’s dreams come true a reward I’ll never take lightly. Its become my daily excitement to hear from students their own excitement about their journey ahead, even having the smallest footprint on their pathway to success has become gratifying in its own respects. Then there are my travels, though sporadic they have led me to meet old friends from my own time studying abroad and new friends alike.

The entire essence of meeting people has opened doorways never thought possible. The most delightful part of 2019 has been meeting others and hearing their own words of insight and stories they too long to share. Spending more time than intended on park benches with near strangers discussing their time in an indigenous tribe in brazil is just scratching the surface of my amusement. It’s a small victory for the once shyest little girl ever.

As I write this it has been 1 full year to the day since I have graduated. In that small span of time I celebrated the New Year in Iceland with two of the most important people in my life, Nick & Jay. We managed to survive Iceland in January, watch the fireworks at Hallgrímskirkja church on New Year’s Eve and not throttle each other after every petty argument, including the 20 minute screaming match that included phrases with “fiber one brownies” and “stupid , useless bitches.”

And then there was Australia. After visiting for the first time in a year in a half my heart felt fully mended. The winters chill couldn’t hold me from breakfast by the beach or wearing my heels to dinner with friends. Being reunited with people who changed my sense of self left that full circle feeling. Yes, quite literally I could have floated into the sun. That is until I had to venture home yet again and my whole world felt displaced yet again. I will live here one day I said outloud, despite what my dad whispers to my mom, “that will never happen.”

Even jay, My bestfriend came to Oz and fell in love with my world.Our trip in November couldn’t have been anymore magical. We soaked in the sun on the beaches of Noosa heads, swam in exotic Tea Tree Lake feeling rejuvenated and watched the sunrise at the Sydney Opera House. Skipping through the Royal Botanical gardens smelling flowers I knew life was grand. Nicole Reine was the Queen on the moment, just like my name says. To have jay wander through the castle I lived and Worked in let nothing but utter giddiness in me. Christmas came early and we couldn’t have enjoyed ourselves more. I will live here one day, felt firmer.

Some of my favorite moments were those sitting in the shed with loved ones after their returns from long journeys: Nick, Tommy, Grace and Emily. We all sat and shared stories from far away places as our minds melted to mush, the sun setting lower in the sky and the colors over Willard mountain fizzled from golden hues to cooling colors of the night sky. The small talks lingered near the kitchen table not on or next to but just around, the dogs lied close by, fading to sleep on the hard wood floors mom never could keep quite clean. It’s the comings and going that are hard to keep up with. But those moments always end as quickly as they come.

It’s a strange thing to realize the moment you leave your childhood home it will never be exactly how you left it. The stars you won at an arcade in Myrtle beach and hung on your ceiling will eventually come down. The color of your walls once chosen with excitement, will be painted over with fresh shades of cream your mother likes. And the emptiness of what once was but never will be, will swallow you whole. I realized this sad feeling creep up as I lay on my empty bedroom floor with my mom and dad huddled tightly around a pile of buttons. Not justa a pile but a ginormous, 40 pound pile of buttons once held safely in their jug, now shattered sharply amongst us. That’s what happens when you leave. Everything shifts, and somethings just can’t handle that. But I sure am sad about that jug of buttons, it was a lifetime labor of love collecting them.

There’s no jug of Buttons in our house on Center Street and im beginning to feel okay with that. Gramma’s blue oriental rug keeps our living room feeling nice and cozy. A small reminder she would have adored the space Jay and I call home.I can almost picture her now tinkering with my knick-knacks on the shelves, just ever so slightly so we wouldn’t notice. Marissa comes and goes as she pleases and the porch never does stay dirt free. I now see why mom’s kitchen floors never could stay clean. Its not Herrington Road but I’ll take it

[raybansandcoffee]

Adventure of a Lifetime: Chapter Two

I quickly hit send on the email I'd been typing on my phone as soon as I heard the bell ring. I shut off the car, grabbed my purse and got out to go grab Ellie from the sidewalk where she knew to meet me. I slid my phone into my back pocket and pulled my sunglasses down from where they'd been resting in my hair. It wasn't long before the kids started running out. It wasn't the orderly filing I was used to. It was last day adrenaline rush running with a lot of yelling and talking added in. I remembered how the last day of school felt as a kid, I got why they were so excited. An entire summer to do whatever they wanted.

"Hey, there munchkin. How was your last day of school?" I asked as the five-year-old girl with brown hair and brown eyes who ran and jumped into my arms.

"It was fun and I'm so happy for summer!"

"I am too. We have so many exciting things to do this summer, Ellie Bellie." I squeezed her tightly before putting her back down on the ground.

"Hey Ellie, my Dad said that if it was okay with your Mom that you could come over tomorrow." The little girl was right about Ellie's height and had a smile that lit up her entire face.

"Uh...Mom, can I go to Ava's house tomorrow?" Her little eyes looked up at mine filled with hope, she'd hesitated when she spoke. This year had been extremely hard on all of us. For Ellie going through everything we had would've been tough enough but she had to start kindergarten and find friends at not only a new school but in our new town, it had been tricky for her.

"Well, I think we could do that."

"Daddy! Ellie's Mom said it was okay." Ava yelled as she had turned to look towards what I assumed was her father. He leaning against a very large black truck with a black leather jacket on and his eyes hidden behind aviator sunglasses. As his daughter spoke his face broke into a giant smile.

"Great!" he replied as he started to walk over. "Hi, I'm Jeremy, Ava's Dad." He slid his sunglasses up into his hair and it was that moment that I put everything together. Ava Renner. Dad named Jeremy. Dad with gorgeous blue eyes. Her Dad is Jeremy Fucking Renner.

"Hi, I'm Ellie's Mom, Charlotte." Saying that still seemed odd, but it was becoming a little easier every time I said it. "I have heard so much about Ava from Ellie."

"Likewise, I thought with school being out that maybe the girls could have a playdate. Staying in touch over summer is always important."

"I would love that and I know Ellie would too. Being fairly new to the city and school she's still trying to get acclimated. Ava has been great to help with that."

"She loves Ellie. What works best for both of you tomorrow? I've got a pool, it would be nice to have you both over so they can play together and we can get to know our kids' best friend's parent." I grabbed my phone from the back pocket of my jeans and pulled up my schedule.

"Well Ellie has the day open after her piano lesson at 10 but I can do that with her tonight instead of tomorrow. I can probably get our nanny to stay with her little brother."

"I didn't realize that Ellie had a little brother. How old is he?"

"Axel just celebrated his first birthday last week." I smiled remembering his face covered in frosting as he shoved his cake in his mouth.

"Axel, that's an awesome name."

"Thanks." I often struggled to accept compliments like this one. I wasn't ever really sure I'd know how to either. Axel was a great name and I loved it so much, but accepting the compliment would always be hard as I didn't pick it for him.

"Well, why don't you bring Axel along. I love kids."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah of course. The more the merrier. How about 11:00? We can feed the girls some lunch and they can have the afternoon together in the pool. And that way we don't disrupt Ellie's piano lesson, music is important."

"Piano lessons with my five-year-old are essentially me trying to get her to pay attention and her pounding her fists on the keys or refusing to play anything but chopsticks for a half hour. It's great, let me tell you." He laughed as I rolled my eyes and smiled at Ellie and Ava who were looking in the bags their teacher had sent them home with today.

"You teach her?" he asked.

"I do. I have no idea why I thought it would be a good idea but I am evidently a masochist." He laughed again, this time slightly louder and loud enough that both of the girls looked up at us. "Ellie, you, me and Axe are gonna go hang out with Ava and Jeremy tomorrow. That's gonna be fun, right?"

"Yeah!" I loved how excited she looked. Her smile was one of the things that had gotten me through the last year.

"Here, put your number in my phone and I'll text you our address and see you tomorrow." He handed his iPhone to me and here I was entering my contact information into Jeremy Renner's phone. Hawkeye from The Avengers. Sergeant William James from The Hurt Locker. William Brandt from Mission Impossible. Aaron Cross from The Bourne Ultimatum. Then there was that one time he played Jeffrey Dahmer. I was going to focus on Hawkeye rather than the others for a moment. Being a "mom" meant that there were a lot of superhero things in my house, even if they were only 1 and 5 because I was going to raise my kids right and teach them that comics and superheroes were awesome. I created a new contact and entered my information in.

First Name: Charlie

Last Name: De Luca

Nickname: Ellie's Mom

Phone: 213.555.7643

"Text me your address and we will see you there," I said as I handed the phone back to him.

"Cool. Hey, 213 area code. You're from LA?"

"Yeah, I am. We moved here about a year ago. Needed a change of pace."

"I get that. I grew up in Modesto but moved to LA after college."

"I'm the rare person originally from LA. Not living there has been a pretty life-altering experience." That was putting it really fucking mildly.

"Well, we can talk all about that tomorrow. I'll text you once we get home."

"See you tomorrow." I watched as Jeremy grabbed Ava's hand and took off across the parking lot. I looked down at Ellie. "Well look at that Ellery, you have a playdate tomorrow." I held my hand up and she high-fived me.

"I like Ava. She's really nice." Ellie and Ava had bonded fairly quickly when the school year started. She'd even gone to her birthday party a few months ago, though I'd sent her with her nanny because Axel had been running a fever and I felt horrible leaving him at home.

"She seems really nice. So does her Dad."

"He is super nice! He was really fun at her birthday party." He was easy on the eyes so I wasn't going to be too disappointed about this playdate. The last few we'd had were with moms who feared the idea of a peanut butter sandwich or gluten more than the measles and I just couldn't handle that. I wasn't exactly cut out for the whole #momlife so we'd clearly not made it long with the crunchy mom group and hadn't quite found "our people" here yet. Luckily, Ava seemed like a totally normal and reasonable kid. I walked with Ellie back to my car, helped her climb into the back passenger side seat and buckled her into her seatbelt. We took off towards home.

The drive from school to home was short but incredibly scenic, it almost made me wish we had longer to drive on streets that wound their way around Lake Tahoe and up into the mountains. Today at least we had an excuse to stop at our favorite ice cream place for a treat on the way home, which made for more time to enjoy the landscape we called home. To go from living in a condo not far from Sunset Boulevard to living in on a mountain, in a forest, with the view of the most gorgeous lake, in what felt like the middle of nowhere Nevada had been culture shock for me at first. I think I called home to my parents crying daily for the first two months. Then Ellie started kindergarten, Axel finally started sleeping through the night, I found our amazing nanny, and I got back to work. It still didn't feel like I was living my life, it felt like I'd been written into a Hallmark movie, scenic location, tragic circumstances and all, and was living the life of someone else. If I thought long and hard about it I was technically living someone else's life. I finally made it to our way too long driveway and parked in the giant garage before grabbing Ellie and her bags from the back so we could head inside.

"Hey! We're home," I called.

"We are in the family room," the voice of our nanny, Savannah, echoed through the far too giant house. I watched Ellie drop her backpack in the mudroom, kick her shoes off and bolt for where she knew Savannah and Axel would be. I slowly picked everything up, taking a few moments to myself to breathe before following her.

"Did he nap decently?" I asked as I entered the room seeing Ellie and Axel on the floor playing together.

"He did. How was your afternoon?" she asked.

"Good. It was nice to get out for a while. Thank you." I'd done some shopping and spent most of my afternoon hiding in the basement to get work done.

"Of course," she replied. Savannah was the best thing that had happened to me in the last 9 months. She is the daughter of a friend who needed a job while she took classes online after graduating from high school. Despite getting into USC with scholarships she had dealt with some issues her senior year of high school and knew she needed time to figure out just what she wanted. So I offered her a free room and a well-paying job to her and thankfully she jumped at the opportunity. Her Mom, Alex, was happy that she'd decided to take classes at a local community college this spring after a semester of online classes there. But most importantly, she wasn't running around LA aimlessly, she was working toward something. She'd decided to start focusing on early childhood education starting in fall, she said living with the kids and helping me had helped her pick her path. Alex knew I'd watch out for Savannah, give her a safe home, and steady income. She also knew that Savannah was essentially saving my life by being here to help with the kids.

"I am going to get dinner started."

"Okay, I'll watch the kids." The kitchen looked into the family room which was one of the things I loved most about this house. I could cook and still keep an eye on the kids, though at 1 and 5 it was more of a contact sport than just sitting back and watching. I dug around the kitchen pulling everything out that I'd need to make dinner. I was stirring the spaghetti sauce I'd decided on when I heard my iPhone vibrate on the counter. It was a message from an unknown sender.

Charlie huh?

Yeah, most people in my life call me Charlie. It's a force of habit. Charlotte is only used professionally or by my family if I'm in trouble. There's still some residual trauma from having Charlotte Marie De Luca screamed at me followed by a string of words in Italian I barely understood by my grandmother.

That's great!

*Pin Drop*

Thanks for that. I've now got my Apple Maps ready to go for tomorrow. Ellie is super excited.

Ava is too. She was the new girl in town once, she knows how hard it can be.

Yeah, Ellie (and I) are both grateful for Ava. The first few months of school were pretty rough.

I can imagine. Moving from LA here was an adjustment for Ava and I. The privacy is nice though.

I 100% agree about that. It's part of the reason for our move too.

Do you want me to bring anything tomorrow?

Just you, the kids, and your bathing suits.

Fantastic. My nanny is pretty excited about having the day off now. She says thank you for giving me a life. She's lucky I like her or she'd not only be out of a job but also a house.

Live-in nanny? You must be kind of a big deal.

Far from it. A friend from college's kid who wasn't ready to completely grow up but needed out of LA pretty badly. The agreement was she could live for free if she helped me watch the kids and enrolled in online classes. The classes part was her mother's requirement. The downside of having a college professor as a parent I guess.

Well, you're a good friend to take your friend's kid in.

HA! If you only knew.

Well, I've got dinner ready along with a hungry 5-year-old and teenager. We will see you tomorrow at 11.

See you then.

"Alright everyone, let's get ready for dinner." Ellie came running into the kitchen and jumped up into her chair at the island while Savannah carried Axel in and got him strapped into his high chair at the end. I served up everyone's plate making sure that Axel's dinner was ready for him as well. He was at the point where he was really enjoying eating the noodles with a little bit of sauce with his hands, usually resulting in a baby covered in spaghetti sauce. Ellie was pretty great with silverware for being 5. Thankfully Savannah was nearly a fully functional adult so I didn't have to worry about her. I did my best to eat my dinner and also make sure that Axel didn't completely cover himself and the kitchen in spaghetti sauce.

After dinner and getting the kids cleaned up it was time for a bit of snuggles before they headed to bed. They both got books, songs, and tucked in bed before I quickly started laundry. These kids loved spaghetti, their clothing did not. I picked up my phone and went to the text messages with Jeremy earlier and added him into my phone as a contact in case I needed to call tomorrow while we were on our way. After changing clothes I headed downstairs to find Savannah doing the dishes.

"You didn't have to do that," I said as I grabbed a glass of ice water for myself.

"No worries, you had a long day." She was right. It had been a long day. "Did you get your work done?"

"Not nearly enough of it but I got a start on it."

"When is your deadline?"

"Thankfully, it's flexible," I replied. "But the goal is for them to have it in three weeks."

"Well, what I heard you playing that was coming from the basement sounded beautiful."

"Thanks. It's been tougher than I thought it would be but I'm enjoying it."

"Are you headed back downstairs to work?"

"Yup. I'll get the cameras turned on downstairs to watch and see if the kids wake up. You can go to bed or go out or whatever."

"I had thought about going out but I don't know."

"Savy, go meet that boy you've been hanging out with. You're 18. Have fun. I've got everything under control with the kids. I've got them all day tomorrow. Hell if I don't see you until Friday I won't be offended."

"Are you sure?" Savannah asked. She was really a good kid.

"I'm positive. Get the fuck out of here or I'll call your Mom and tell her you need a life."

"You're gonna call her anyway," she replied laughing. She was right. I'd go downstairs and call her Mom. It was a near-nightly ritual, especially when I was in the middle of a work project. She'd listen as I talked in circles about what was going on. "I'll check-in and let you know if I'm not coming home."

"Be careful. Use a condom!" I said before heading downstairs to the basement. It was the one change I'd made on the house when we moved in. Not being in LA and having access to my studio anymore I'd converted a large part of the basement that had been a fairly large guest suite and an office into my domain. The perfect studio. It was better than the studio I put together in LA because this one I could come to any time, day or night, in my pajamas and work. "Alright, Charlie. Let's figure out what is going on in your head with this." Before I could hit playback on what I'd recorded earlier in the day the predictable FaceTime call came in on my giant iMac screen. I hit accept. "Hiiiiii!"

"Working late?" It was my best friend, Savannah's Mom, Alex.

"Of course. The tiny humans are in bed so I'm monitoring their movements on one computer while trying to figure out what the fuck I recorded earlier today."

"Anything good?" she asked. She was in her pajamas in her house in the hills with a glass of wine. This was how she called me most nights. Her husband traveled during the week from Monday morning through Thursday night. Like clockwork, every night I got to talk to her while she was relaxing after Savannah's younger brothers were in bed.

Savannah had been a happy accident during our freshman year of college. Sam and I essentially helped raise Savannah until she was in school. I lived with them until Alex was done with her master's degree. By the time she was in school for her doctorate she was married to Max, Savannah's step-dad, and I was living on my own for the first time in my life. Sam had fallen in love after college and followed her love to England. When we hit 28 she realized her love was not that lovely and she moved back to LA and in with me for a few months until she fell in love...again, got married, and started making babies. We had been the three musketeers from the moment we met at orientation at USC. They were my everything.

"I'm not sure anything is good. I'm on the struggle bus. I should've had the first draft of this score to the director and producers at least a week ago. I should be working non-stop but today was Ellery's last day of school so tomorrow I'm taking the day off to celebrate the start of summer with the babes."

"What are the plans?" Her kids had been out of school for a few weeks. They were planning a trip to come to visit for 10 days at the end of the month to come to stay with us, enjoy the mountains and see Savannah. Alex had been able to fly in to be here for Axel's first birthday while her husband and the boys went on a camping trip that she was happy to skip to help celebrate her godson, and sort of namesake, as he turned one. We were just waiting on Ellie's end of school for the full family vacation, which seemed to just keep getting stretched out because of how much snow we'd had all winter.

"Ellie's best friend Ava invited her over for a playdate. Ava's very hot, I believe very single Dad invited me and the Axe Man to come with. He evidently has a pool and since the weather is FINALLY warm here I am fully prepared to take advantage of it."

"Very hot, very single, huh?"

"Yup. So, of course, I'll somehow end up fucking it up because I just don't know how to do this shit. Nothing in my life makes any fucking sense anymore."

"You've had an incredibly tough year, Chucky. It's totally fucking reasonable for your life to not make sense. You're going to be completely fine. You're getting better and stronger every day."

"Thanks. It's just starting to get really lonely here. I know that the move was the best decision I could've made for me and the babes but it's just hard. Being alone fucking sucks. I'm so used to being one-third of the three musketeers and now I'm a lone fucking wolf and a mess."

"You only have to be a lone wolf for two more weeks."

"I am so excited about that. Though I wish you could stay for more than 10 days. You aren't teaching a class this summer. You and the boys should just move here. Max can fly into Reno on Thursday nights and you can all just live with me all summer."

"As amazing as that sounds and as much as I'd say fuck yes, I feel like all of us in one house would drive you crazier."

"You've been to this house. I swear on my fucking life that there are full days that I haven't seen your child. It's way too big."

"It will be nice when the kids get older."

"I know. I tell myself that every time they are with their grandparents and I'm here alone because Savy is 18 and has more of a life than I do."

"Well, maybe you won't screw it up with the very hot, very single Dad of Ellie's best friend or at least maybe you'll get an adult friend out of it." She shrugged her shoulders.

"Oh, I will. I 1,000% will. You know me. When have I managed to not be awkward in front of men without the assistance of alcohol."

"I don't know that I can answer that."

"See!" I took a drink of my water and leaned back in the chair I was in.

"Wait...are you drinking water?"

"Yes."

"This is supposed to be our nightly glass of wine." I rolled my eyes at her before standing up and walking out of the studio into the area just outside that was a bar. I grabbed the bottle of wine I'd opened last night and poured a glass before going back into my studio.

"This can be the only one. I sent your kid out so if something happens to the kids it's all on me."

"Is she still hanging out with that guy? What's his name? Theo?"

"She is. She told you that."

"I know but I feel like you know more about her than I do. But she's always felt comfortable talking to you about the uncomfortable shit because you changed almost as many of her diapers as I did."

"Sort of true. I think if I hadn't lived with you and Savy when she was a baby there's no way I would've remotely survived the last year."

"You would've," Sam replied. "You're one tough chick, Chuck. I've never seen you turn away from a challenge. Typically you look a challenge in the eye, wink and then kick that bitch's ass."

"The last year has been different. I'm a mess. An absolute fucking mess."

"No, you aren't. You're doing great."

"Thanks. I'd be lost without you or your kid. I'm literally only surviving because of you two."

"That's not true but I'll accept the compliment." We talked for a while longer before I needed to get back to work. I spent the night between the piano, keyboard, a guitar, and my computer trying to figure out whether I liked what I was writing. I'd done some small projects up over the last year but this was the first big project I was taking on. A full film score was always a massive undertaking for me. While it was nice to get back to work on something that gave me energy, I was also paranoid that I wasn't doing enough for the kids. I had a lot of guilt that I'd been dealing with since I started back to work and no matter how many times my friends, family or therapist told me I was doing the right thing, it just never felt right.

**********

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

Thank you for giving "Adventure of a Lifetime" a chance. If you've read my writing before this is going to be a little bit different, not just because there are different characters.

Charlie has become something I really enjoy writing and I'm looking forward to diving deeper into her life, what makes her tick, and what the circumstances of the hard year were.

I hope you enjoy it and I can't wait to hear what you think.

xx. AM

[darquedeath4444]

The Pain We Share

NARUTO

Pairing: Sakura x Sasori

Summary:

Ever since Sasori could remember, there were cuts and bruises on his body. In a world where Soulmates exist and any injury or pain was shared between the two, he grew up curious, then fearful, of what exactly his Soulmate was experiencing as a child, then annoyed, and even a little angry, when it begins to affect his life as he grows older. Then, one day, he meets a broken pink haired girl in the aftermath of an invasion against a renowned criminal organization and his world is turned upside down as she brings with her a darkness she was born into and was unknowingly trying to escape ever since. 

Chapter ONE

It was a wracking sort of pain that made Akasuna no Sasori stiffen. The action caused the tower of cards he had been building to topple over and Deidara, his partner, grinned at him in momentary triumph before he recognized the look on his face. The blond dropped his own deck and hurried around the table to his side.

"You okay, Danna?" He asked, and the clear worry in the teen's eyes filled Sasori with a familiar bitterness.

"I'm fine," he snapped. He lashed out to push the blond away, but the second wave of pain made him lose his balance and he fell back into his seat.

Deidara scoffed. "You clearly aren't fine, un," he said.

Sasori closed his eyes and placed an arm over his face. "Don't ask, then," he groaned out.

He could not see, but he felt the blond take a seat next to him. "Want some water?" He asked, then correctly took the silence to be a yes. He reached over the table towards his own cup. "Will you be fine for tomorrow?" He asked. "If we tell Pein now-"

Sasori bolted back up, glaring at his partner. "Don't you dare!" He seethed. He snatched the cup offered towards him and had to hold back the urge to empty it over Deidara's head. Instead, he chugged it.

Deidara raised his hands in mock surrender. "I won't, Danna," he said. "But you know he wouldn't take you off the offensive team if you insist." He glanced at something over his shoulder. "And also, I think it might be a little late, un."

Sasori followed the bond's line of gaze and rolled his eyes when he was just in time to see Hoshigaki Kisame and Hidan too casually look away. Uchiha Itachi, Kisame's partner, was also with them, but the raven was much, much better at it than them and he was already glancing out the window. Sasori, however, did not doubt for a second that all three of them had witnessed his bouts of pain but decided to appreciate the gesture anyway, simply because he was too tired to muster any more annoyance.

After all, most of it was reserved for his Soulmate out there, whoever it was.

"Must suck," Kisame offered sympathetically. The man plopped himself down in an empty spot on the couch.

Sasori rolled his eyes again. "What can I say," he said sarcastically. Then, to emphasize just how fine he was, he raised his hand and called upon the warm feeling within him. The power, known as chakra, answered and he willed it into strings, which he then used to gather the collapsed cards. The blue threads neatly cleaned up the mess and Sasori tossed the pack to Deidara. "At least it won't kill me."

Because it wouldn't, no matter how painful it might get, for the injuries that appeared on his body were not his, the pain not inflicted directly onto him.

Everyone had a Soulmate, but the chances of actually finding that Soulmate were very slim. The one hint they received was how any pain one felt, as well as any injuries obtained, were reflected on the other.

He was simply feeling whatever his Soulmate, whoever that maybe, was feeling.

"From the way your girl is throwing herself into injury one after another, I'm surprised she isn't dead yet," Hidan said. He wandered past them and vanished into the kitchen.

Some spent lifetimes searching for their Soulmate, but only a lucky few actually got around to meeting them, simply due to the sheer amount of people out there living all over the place. To most, it was merely a tickling thought at the back of their head, where they were aware that there was someone out there, but there were more pressing matters to focus on.

"Might be a guy," someone else said, and Kakuzu, Hidan's partner, appeared at the door moments later. He waved, then followed the silver-haired man into the kitchen.

That was not Sasori's case, though. His case was special because his Soulmate appeared to be very clumsy with two left feet at best, an abuse victim if they were unlucky and involved in something much more horrific at worse. He had never met anyone who hurt as much as he did through the link, and since the problem lay on his other half, there was not much he could do but endure it.

He could still remember glimpses of his childhood when the same bouts of pain had woken his screaming at night. At first, his parents had been there. He could remember his mother wrapping her arms around his shaking frame and his father whispering words of comfort.

Then one day, his parents had vanished but the wracks continued and suddenly he was alone and everything only felt worse as he tried to shield himself from the pain he really had no control over. He had only been four back then, too young to care for himself, and his grandmother had taken him in, where he had grown up ever since.

Sasori scowled and he slowly stretched out his limbs. The pain never lasted like an actual injury and wounds always appeared already scarred over. He checked over himself and noted that somewhere, somehow, it appeared as though his Soulmate had stabbed him or herself in the hand. He scowled, because did they not realize that when very they got hurt, he was heavily affected as well?

He tried not to think of how maybe someone else was causing these injuries, because how was he supposed to know?

Over the years, he had gotten used to the pain. Sometimes they took him by surprise, but as he grew older the daily doses of pain changed to strong bursts of it with periods of peace in between, and if he was careful, he could almost tell when they were coming. He managed to work his life around this, entered a special academy for chakra wielders, and graduated with top marks. He was one of the renowned prodigies of his generation, and it was not long before the Akatsuki, an elite force made up of the best of the best, invited him into their ranks when he was fourteen, an age that had surprised many. Itachi was the only one to have been recruited earlier than him at thirteen.

Said Uchiha glanced at his scarred hand. "I believe you should tell Pein about it anyway," he said quietly. "Just in case they return during the operation, so we know to be prepared."

"Bastard's right," Deidara agreed. "We've been planning this for months; wouldn't want you to trip up at a crucial moment because your Soulmate tripped down the stairs or something."

Sasori scowled because he knew they were right, but that did not make it easier at all. He cursed his Soulmate once again before he begrudgingly nodded. "I'll do that."

The Elemental Nation had once been five different countries that had come together under an alliance to unite into one state, or that was what Sasori often read in history books. Now, though, it was the most advanced, powerful nation in the area.

While it was still separated into five different areas, named Fire, Wind, Lightning, Earth, and Water after the old five nations, they functioned under a single ruling power made up of leaders from the five lands. The Akatsuki had been one of the first organization to be made up of members from different national backgrounds, and what had once been nothing more than a show of unity was now one of the biggest, most trusted security and defence organization known.

Sasori tapped at the power within him and summoned blue strings from his fingertips. They flew around his room, picking up his pouch and stuffing a handful of metal needles, senbon, into it. He flicked his fingers again and the pouch landed neatly in his hand.

Many years ago, mankind had managed to tap into their own lifeforce, and this power, which had been named 'chakra', had long become a necessity in life. There were many uses to it, and those who could wield it and mould it to their commands were simply seen to be superior to those who could not. It could be said that, in a way, one's ability to control it became one value within society.

Sasori himself was considered to be one of the best chakra users out there. His control was considered extraordinary even among those who prided themselves in this aspect, and while most channelled chakra into objects in order to manipulate them, he was one of the few who could summon chakra outside a medium and mould it to his will.

Even without his level of control, though, people found many uses for it. There were those who used it in their everyday lives, for something as simple as strengthening themselves for construction work or using it to enhance their vision for delicate crafts. It was used in hospitals to heal wounds and ease pain, sterilize and operate. A slightly uncommon number blessed with better control than others had unique abilities, ranging from being able to control certain objects infused with chakra from a distance to bending even the elements to their will.

And of course, criminals used it to commit crime and authorities used it to try and catch them.

The Akatsuki had always been small but effective, and as the tales of their successes and prowess spread they soon became known as the official law reinforcing group outside the knights, known as ANBU, and the civilian security force, run by the Uchiha clan. It's members usually worked in pairs, and outside of requested work that usually consisted of rounding up bandits and the likes, they also took on more powerful chakra users that the ANBU could not handle.

Sasori grabbed his cloak and threw it over his shoulder. He glanced around his room one last time before he headed out the door.

At the age of eighteen, Sasori, partner to Deidara, was one of the younger members of the Akatsuki. For the past four years, he had used his powers alongside his fellow members to help with policing their ever-growing nation.

Deidara, who was currently the youngest at seventeen, was a relatively new member though, only two years having passed since he was recruited. Sasori clearly remembered his partner before the blond had taken his place, and that thought alone left a trembling in his hands and a bitter taste in his mouth.

Orochimaru had been a member since before Sasori had joined, and the older man had acted like a mentor to him during his first few months. Known infamously as the 'Snake', he had not only been skilled in combat, but in the more research related aspect of investigations as well, and had dedicated a large part of his time outside of work looking into chakra and its relation to the human body.

It had only been a few months into Sasori's work with the Akatsuki when a group of people trafficking children was brought to light. It was Sasori's first-ever major job but everything had gone smoothly. They managed to rescue all the children unharmed, and while it was revealed that most of the kidnap victims had been orphans taken from the streets, work had been put into giving them food, shelter, and support, and an orphanage had been set up.

Orochimaru had offered to take over the role of managing the orphanage, and it had taken them too long to realize who his true intentions had been.

The man had been using the children at the orphanage as experiments for what he claimed to be scientific research into chakra. By the time there had been enough evidence to try and take him in, he had been long ready for them. He had already transported out many of his successful experiments to bases he had prepared years in advance. Itachi, who had caught up to him after the man had made his initial escape, had gotten into a messy battle with him and Orochimaru managed to escape with a sliver of his life. He had gone into hiding ever since only to reveal himself a year later as a new nation he called 'Sound'. He ran on organized crime and assassinations, and after months, years, of investigation, they had tracked down a major base of his. The Akatsuki had been given full rights to handling the case, and finally, after years of bubbling anger and planning and thoughts of revenge, they were executing a massive operation to take him down.

Sasori entered the main office of their base to see that only Itachi and Kisame were present. He nodded in greeting then took his usual seat at the table.

"Good morning," Itachi said politely.

The raven had once been heir to one of the biggest clans within the nation. The Uchiha, in fact, ran the entirety of the security organization that prioritized civilian safety. When the Akatsuki had recommended him for their ranks, no one had expected him to accept the position. It had caused a huge rift within the Uchiha clan but Itachi had shaken off all the protests and attempts to stop him. Though they were the same age, Itachi was a year his senior within the Akatsuki. He was an unparalleled user of fire, even among his clansmen who were known for fire manipulation. However, what made him truly stand out was what was known as the Sharingan. Rarely, chakra caused physical mutations to occur. The Uchiha were a clan that had managed to pass down this mutation until it became a family trait. The Sharingan affected the eyes of the Uchiha who had them and allowed them to cast illusions that directly affected their targets through eye contact. Itachi was talent, potential, skill, and birthright wrapped up in a single, deadly package.

Kisame grinned. "Finally, huh?"

The man, one of the oldest among them at age twenty-three, was skilled a swordsman as he was a chakra user. He had once been a part of a group known as the Ten Swordsmen that originated from the Land of Water. While during the warring ages decades ago, the Ten Swordsmen of the Mist had been declared one of the most dangerous groups of warriors, it now only existed in name. Still, those who were a part of it were all considered master swordsmen, and Kisame had been recruited for his ability to mould chakra with his weapons. From what he knew, he was also rather skilled in manipulating water.

Sasori nodded. "I can't wait to get my hands on that stupid snake," he hissed.

Itachi nodded. "I let him get away once," he said. The Uchiha had always blamed himself for Orochimaru's escape, even though everyone knew it had not been his fault. Itachi had been fifteen then. Orochimaru was much older and had years more experience on him and the raven had still managed to push the Snake to the edge. "It will not happen again."

Before the rest of them could say anything, the door was thrown open and Deidara marched in. "Morning," he called, then sat down in his chair next to Sasori. "So, who's ready to kick some scaly snake ass?"

Deidara was once a kid Sasori had put behind bars for causing several explosions in abandoned factories. No one had gotten hurt, though, and everything had changed once it was revealed that the explosions were caused not by bombs, but by the blond's unique ability to cause things he channelled chakra into to explode. The Akatsuki, looking for a member after Orochimaru had betrayed them, had taken him in. Sasori would never admit it, but underneath all the noise and annoyance that came with associating with him, he quite liked Deidara. At the very least, he was very entertaining to watch.

Sasori glanced around the room. The four of them would be the attack force. Kakuzu and Hidan had an emergency job within the capital to take care of, and they could not leave their own base unmanned.

"Zetsu returned from his scouting just before you entered the room," Itachi told them. "And it appears Konan will be offering us support. From what we already do know, Orochimaru is currently not within the Northern Base."

Sasori cursed under his breath. They had all known that this would take a long time. Orochimaru definitely had more than one base, and the possibility of him being in the one they decided to take down first was low.

"Sucks," Deidara muttered, appearing to mirror his thoughts. "It would've been nice to just get rid of him now."

"Still, the Northern base is a major one of the Snake hideouts," Kisame pointed out. "Once we take one, it won't be long before we manage to track the others; Orochimaru can't build bases as fast as we can destroy them."

Deidara grinned. "Ohhh, I like the sound of that."

Sasori nodded once, firmly, in agreement.

Chapter TWO>

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