#and when he thought molly had died when she fell. he still had hope. he still climbed back up. but he was still ready to jump back down

[nixtorr]

eight and liv but they enable eachother’s murderous tendancies instead of their actual dynamic

[theoisdaydreaming]

hi!! i loved your overlord angel dust/husk art and i commented about potentially turning it into a fic and adding your art, which you consented to. i was wondering if you had any additional ideas to make it more than a oneshot, maybe they open a casino together with mafia roots, collect souls together, etc…once again, your art was amazing!!

Thank you so much, I would love a fic about my AU (⁠人⁠*⁠´⁠∀⁠｀⁠)⁠｡⁠*ﾟ⁠+

Here are other ideas about the story:

In this AU Angel didn't worked with Valentino, he and Arackniss reconciled before Angel could sign a contract with him

That is not to say Angel wasn't doing sex work, he would take all kinds of offers, from stripping to singing gigs, just for the money

Regarding the backstory of the spider brothers I haven't really fleshed it out but here are some points of it:

They had kind of a strained relationship even though they cared for each other, because Arackniss (or Andrew as I like to think) used to put down Anthony's dreams of becoming a performer like the drag queens he liked to see (in secret) in the gay bars the Mafia used to own back in the 30s (real history btw)

He did this in hopes he would give up, leave it all behind and live a 'normal' life, out of fear their dad would disown him, or worse, kill him

It wouldn't matter anyway because both of them would die together while doing a shady work for the mob (who started the shots? They couldn't really remember)

At the beginning of their afterlife Arackniss avoided Angel with the guilt that (according to him) it was his fault his little brother got shot in the eye. (He was too far, too late, he couldn't protect his brother and now he's dead because of him)

Cause of this angel thinks his brother hates him, but they eventually encounter during a turf war that went wrong

Arackniss sees Angel surrounded and not wanting to repeat his brothers death again, he saves him this time.

They sort things out, and become closer than ever

When Arackniss figures out what angel has been doing for money they decide to start doing mob work again, they're good and people start giving their loyalty and doing contracts with them because the brothers actually care about the souls they own, deciding to learn from their father's mistakes, they respect all of their workers

furthermore, Angel gains more influence because he gave the people he met while being a sex worker, safe and living conditions; every stripper, actor, performer wanted to work with him, and with all the contracts he made, became an overlord

On the other hand, arackniss does all the shady work, sticking to the shadows, not wanting any attention. He is very prod of angel, and becomes his right hand man

Other ideas and dynamics:

Angel calls arackniss An, Andy or niss

Arackniss calls angel Angie, Anni, or Anth. (He never really liked tony, that's what his father called him)

They love each other very much but they're still siblings, they bicker and fight all the time (all their goons are used to it at this point, unimpressed by the brothers shenanigans)

Valentino develops some sort of obsession with Angel after meeting him (this brings problems)

Angel fell first, husk fell harder

They kind of had an enemies to lovers (but not really, more like a rivalry bc angel likes to annoy the cat overlord for fun)

Molly is still in heaven in this AU, arackniss was able to shield her from the family business (he couldn't with angel though, That's part of his guilt)

She died of heart disease before the brothers death

Angel is the spoilt younger sibling

I haven't really thought about how him and husk get together but they will definitely become a power couple

I like the idea Angel performs at the casino

He sings, does drag, etc. (Maybe some pornos too, just for fun)

What caught husk's attention is that Angel cared a lot for the souls he owned, he treated them like the humans they are

That's all I have for now, I will make more art about this AU later, you can use it if you like, whether as reference or inspiration for the fic (⁠*⁠˘⁠︶⁠˘⁠*⁠)⁠.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡

Ik this is more about Angel and Arackniss but I really like to focus on their story. So regarding the huskerdust you can have fun with that as I don't have a lot of ideas

[warrior-cats-rewritten]

The final Super Editions Minor Characters list! Starting off with Graystripe's Vow, now under the new name - Graystripe's Clan.

Minor Characters under the cut

Unknown number of Bloodclan leaders after Scourge - 3 leaders. The first after Scourge was Screech, the silver tabby Bloodclan molly Onewhisker was chasing off, unfortunately she was hit by a car. The second was Oil, until she was taken in by humans, now living as a spicy housecat, but loved and safe. The third was short lived, Jaggedtooth. Claw challenged Jaggedtooth, and the wounds from the fight killed him.

Skinny yellow Bloodclan tom - Pirate, he has a stubby tail, and a red collar.

Gray tabby Bloodclan tom Graystripe knocks unconscious? - Snare, I like the thought that his ears are really ripped up.

Ginger Bloodclan molly - Chive, a very tough girl I like to think is the sister of Jaggedtooth and Ginger. She is covered in scars.

Ginger Bloodclan molly - I'll be honest. I'm a sucker for her wiki image. She is a spotted dark ginger molly with long fur. Her name is Fawn, and she is Fury's sister.

Bloodclan tom with a patchy pelt - Ripper, I like the think he is a brown and white tabby.

Black and white Bloodclan tom with a torn ear and a collar studded with teeth - Talon, he has a black collar.

Three Bloodclan cats, but the descriptions are not clear. One chases Brambleclaw and Brambleclaw flees (lmao) - The one chasing Brambleclaw away is Fawn, Fury's sister. The patchy furred one is Rooster's son, Raven, pure black.

Tabby and white molly that does not know what Mothermouth is - Her name is Diamond, she is noted to have a sparkly collar and reminds Graystripe of how Lightflower (Princess) used to be.

Scraps' Father Figure - Scrappy! He died in the Battle of Bloodclan. Scraps changed his name when he transitioned to male to be more like him, before Scrappy died.

Gremlin's ex, Fang's Father - Graystripe. In an attempt to strengthen connections, Graystripe welcomed Gremlin into his and Silverstream's relationship, attempting to Honour Sire kits, but plans fell apart before Fang was born.

Fang's siblings, Gremlin's other kits - The first is a tortoiseshell molly with white patches named Leah, she is still in her home, happy and carefree. Her original name was Ember. The other was another molly, a small gray molly with a darker gray stripe down her back, the spitting image of her father, her name is Orchid, and she left her home to become a loner. She'll reappear during the Warriorclan Super Edition.

Black and white kittypet tom - Tuxy. You can imagine what he looks like.

Black and white molly trapped in the Twoleg den - Flurry, she joins Warriorclan and becomes Flurrynose.

Molly with 3 kittens - Her name is Storm! She becomes Stormjump, I think she is large, and pure black with big green eyes.

Her 3 babies - The first is Moss, or Mosskit. A pure black tom with green eyes, just like mom! The second is Apple, or Applekit, a brown tabby tom with green eyes. The third and final is a deaf, pure white molly with blue eyes, named Cloud, or Cloudkit.

The old tabby molly who gives herself up to the Twolegs - Her name is Maisie. She was reunited with her old family through her microchip, who had all but given up hope of seeing her again.

Small tabby and white molly, warrior of Warriorclan - Amberwhisker! She is a light ginger colour with a white underside and white front legs, she has orange eyes.

Sandy coloured tom from Warriorclan - Splashclaw, because he loves water! He also has blue eyes.

Dark tabby kittypet with a light muzzle and light paws - A dark brown tabby by the name of Pinky. She was named by a little kid. She has a pink collar to match.

Patch furred kittypet - Named Patches. Named by the same kid, but slightly older. Now a white tom with ginger patches! He had a yellow collar.

Tabby kittypet with white paws - Alfred, not named by a child, he is a gray tabby, the oldest and most distinguished in the group. Dark blue collar for this guy.

Pure white kittypet - Missy, possibly named by the same kid who named the others, she is Alfred's baby. A small molly with a purple collar, she joins Warriorclan during their super edition under the new name: Happyfur.

Marigold - Note: This unknown being isn't even given a SPECIES. But in WCR, Marigold was Petunia's mate. Unfortunately, while they were in a shelter together, Marigold's liver began to fail, and the shelter was not able to get on top of things, she was euthanized. She and Gremlin give Monkeystar 2 lives.

[sebstan2020]

Not Leaving

Chapter 18

Parings: Steve Kemp x Noa

Summary: What if Noa hadn’t managed to kill Steve and hadn’t been able to get away, what would have happened.

Alternative ending to Fresh were Steve wins against the fight between Noa, Molly and Penny

Warnings: Dom/sub, Psychopath, Kidnapping, Cannibalism, Captive, Handcuffs, Medical torture, Light bondage, Blood, Controlling

Noa flicked through the magazine she had laid in front of her, skimming the texts and glancing at the pictures. There wasn’t much to do in her cell besides stare at the magazines and books Steve provided her. But her mind was elsewhere anyway. her guilty conscience was raining down on her again after her night with Steve. The dinner, the cooking, the sex, everything was making her head spin and she was distracted from concentrating. Noa sighed loudly and fell on the bed, done with the magazine as she knew she wouldn’t be able to shake the feelings off and the thoughts in her head.

Steve is a charming, kind man. But he has to be in order to win these girls to do what he wants. Noa knows that she knows that completely and yet she lets herself fall under his spell. In the beginning, it was easier to hate him, that initial fear of knowing what her fate was, becoming meat and product for pervy clients and a sustenance for Steve to live on. But now that wasn’t what her life was.

Steve wanted Noa for more than that. He didn’t want to harvest her body, to consume her meat for his breakfast, lunch, and dinner. He wanted her for her, someone to love, to care for, to be with him. like he said, she’s different and he knew it from the moment he met her. and now Noa was beginning to think she was different. Why would someone stay with a man who drugged her, kidnapped her, locked her in a cell, cut off her ass and had her eat meat from innocent girls.

In Noa’s defence, she couldn’t go anywhere, she was still being kept captive by the leather of a shock collar and the psychological abuse on her brain. Noa thought back to when she ate the meat of Hope, Melissa, Sandy… and Molly. It was sick, it was sickening to think and to imagine… but it tasted like nothing you ever had before. It was rich and powerful and tender, and the taste lingered on her tongue for days.

Noa’s head was messed up, just as she was. she felt the tears spring to her eyes, and she burst into them, her hands holding her face and shielding her from cell around her, covering her in darkness.

“Fuck” she whispered to herself.

The way he is with her, gentle and concerned and loving. The way he kisses her, jokes with her, cares for her. Like she is piece of meat. It’s all in the preparation. But she’s different. If she wasn’t, she’d have been an arm and a leg missing by now. Which makes it harder on her. She feels guilty that she got away from this and others didn’t. It’s cost her, her best friend, her life, her conscience.

Noa sucked in a deep breath, wiping the tears away quickly and calming herself down, taking deep long breaths. She had to get out of this headspace and fast. She picked up one of the books and opened it to the first page, her eyes tracing the lines and soon lost herself in the story written.

It wasn’t long before she heard the scuff of footsteps and the beep of the door opening, revealing Steve. He was dressed in jeans and a t-shirt, black socks with his hair brushed messily to one side. Luckily her tears had faded and the red in her cheeks had died down. The last thing she wanted was Steve seeing she had been crying.

“Hey” he said as he stepped in, carrying a familiar plastic tray.

“Hi” she replied, sitting up more and leaning on one palm of her hand. Steve placed the tray in front of her revealing a plate full of mash potatoes, creamy mushrooms, and steamed veg. There was a cup of juice and next to the plate a slice of apple pie. It smells amazing but Noa couldn’t help but look a little confused at Steve. She kind of expected him to bring her upstairs and have dinner with him. Again, her head was fucking with her, making her believe that he was just going to have her eat dinner with him every night now that they had its last night.

“We not having dinner together?” she asked softly, and Steve sighed, scratching his head.

“Yeah sorry, I have some things I need to take care off, but I’ll be back tomorrow” Noa shrugged and shook her head. It was no big deal, and why was she concerned over him not having dinner with her.

“It’s fine” she brushed off, giving him a smile.

“If I wasn’t busy tonight then I would have cooked us something… but tomorrow I’ll make it up to you” he points at her with a smile and Noa nods slowly.

“Okay, hope you get everything sorted” she murmurs back and Steve sighs.

“Me too” he smiles and stares at Noa for a minute. He leans over, pressing a knee into the carpet and reaches out to cup the back of her neck, pulling her forward so he can place a kiss to her lips. He deepens it, pulling back with a smack and a simple brush of his thumb over her cheek before standing and padding out the cell.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, goodnight” he says.

“Goodnight” Noa replies as the door shuts, leaving her be. Noa stares at her food and picks up the fork, stabbing at the mushrooms and digs in, listening to Steve's footsteps turning to silence.

……….

The doorbell rings, bringing Steve away from the kitchen island. He pads over to the door, his shoes clicking as he reaches the hard wood. He’s changed from his casual attire earlier. He’s now dressed in black slacks and a black shirt with dress shoes. He’s wearing his favourite cologne and his hair is brushed back so It doesn’t fall in front of his face.

He opens the door and gives Ann a smile. Her expression is hard, and she doesn’t offer a smile back as he gestures her inside.  She’s also dressed up, wearing a black dress with her long black boots, hair straightened and a light layer of makeup. Her face is so natural she rarely wears any, a trait that Steve loved about her. The house is warm with a couple of candles lit around the living room and soft music playing in the background. You could say it’s the atmosphere of a date night.

“Hey” he greeted, and Ann eyed him up. When he called earlier and said he wanted her to come round, to talk to her, she was shocked and a little suspicious but none the less jumped at the idea. After their fight yesterday, Ann cried the whole way home in the car, anger pushing its way in afterwards and then ending with depression. It was clear she was desperate to makeup with Steve and go back to the way things were, but she wasn’t giving in that easily.

“Hi” she said back, slipping off her coat and he took it gracefully, hanging it on the hooks by the door.

“You want a drink” he said as he walked back to the kitchen and pulled a bottle of red wine out.

“Yes” she answered and glanced around the living room. She had sat there many times with Steve before they had brought a house together and moved in as husband and wife. They’d have little dates there, eating together, watching movies and snuggle up together. she can’t remember when it all started to fade. Only now had it become real to her he was losing interest and distancing himself from her.

“So, what did you want to talk about” she cut to the chase and turned back to see Steve pouring the wine in the glasses. He took a deep breath and looked up at her.

“Look you right I have been distancing myself from you and the boys and I’ve been thinking, and I wanted to make it up to you. Things have been crazy over these last few weeks, and I know it’s no excuse but your my wife and you deserve to be treated right” he held a glass out for her, and she took, continuing to stare at him.

“And I haven’t been doing that and I’m sorry” he said softly, and Ann blinked at him in surprise. She hadn’t expected that. After their fight yesterday, she thought it was over between them. No way to go back. Then he calls and says he wants to talk, and she should dress up nice and that excitement and spark comes back inside her. Ann should have argued back. He’s been a shitty husband for a while now and she deserves so much better, but she can’t help herself. She wants Steve, she wants to just go back to the way things were and completely forget they had this little hiccup. A smile appears on her lips, and she sighs softly.

“Do you mean that?” she asks, and he nods, walking around the kitchen island.

“I do, and I want us to be how we used to be” he said softly and places his hand on her shoulder giving it a squeeze. Ann is buzzing on the inside and she takes a deep breath containing her excitement.

“What’s with the distance then, what’s been going on?” she asks, and Steve turns her, leading her to the couch in the living room where they slump down and he sips his wine.

“It’s just the girls you know, with them all trying to escape, I’ve been hella busy and I know your trying to help. You know how I like to control everything. It’s just been crazy is all and I know I shouldn’t take it out on you” Ann stares and wonders if what he’s saying is true. But her feelings fight her conscience, and she believes him because she’s a sucker for him and wants to get back together. This is how Steve is, he controls things and manipulates and right now he’s doing that. But Ann is too blinded to see.

“So, what do you say” he raises his brows lightly and Ann gives him a smile, leaning over and pressing a kiss to his lips. She doesn’t have to answer verbally as her kiss says it all. She pulls back and Steve is smiling, genuine and it’s comforting.

They cheers their glasses and Ann takes a huge sip of her wine, gulping it down. It’s rich and smooth and trickles down her lips which she licks off with her tongue.

“Does that mean you’re coming back home” she asks, and he nods.

“Yeah, I will, in fact I was thinking we could go to cottage grove, you know the house we rented for a couple of weeks, could take the boys with us” he suggests.

“That would be nice, they’ve missed you” she says and Steve nods, lips pressed tightly.

“I know, I’ll make it up to them” he reaches over and plays with a few strands of her hair. Ann takes another gulp of her drink.

“I’ve missed you” she whispers and Steve cups her face, running his thumb along her cheek.

“Me too”.

Suddenly Ann feels a little lightheaded. Her vision starts to blur, and Steve's voice drowns out as he speaks. She swallows hard and sets her glass on the table, taking a deep breath. Her body feels light, like she’s floating, and tingles run through her hands and feet to her fingertips and toes. Something isn’t right. She stares at the glass of red wine, her eyes widening and suddenly Steve's voice pops into her head.

“Ann” she turns and stares at him blankly, eyes half open.

“What’s wrong” he asks with concern, his brows furrowed and she breaths deeply.

‘No’ she thinks. She knows this feeling. She’s felt it before. She looks back at the wine and gulps, almost feeling sick. Pushing up from the couch to tries to get her steps in and run but her feet are wobbly, and she can’t feel them. Her body lands straight onto the carpet, smacking down and she groans. She has some fight left in her, the glass is still at least half full which means she hasn’t consumed the whole drug. She drags herself on the floor, fighting everything trying to bring her to sleep.

Steve sighs loudly and places his glass on the floor, pushing himself up from the couch and casually walks to the kitchen. He doesn’t need to keep an eye on her, she won’t be going anywhere. Even with only a quarter of the drug inside her she won’t be able to run or fight him.

Searching in the draw, he pulls out a syringe and bottle of sedative, drawing up a small amount. Too much could be fatal and she’s already half out. He casually walks back, watching as she makes a fool of herself, crawling on the carpet. His legs come into her sight, and he crouches beside her, giving her a light push so she falls on her stomach.

“No” she mumbles, unable to speak and he shushes her, pulling her collar away and revealing the plump skin by her neck. She’s pale and thin so the drug will knock her out instantly. A sharp prick and it’s injected into her.

“There we go” he murmurs, and Ann gives a final groan, falling completely unconscious on the floor, arms splayed out and lips parted. Steve slaps the needle on the table and stands back up to finish his wine, disregarding his unconscious wife.

Chapter 19

Hey so I hope you like it, let me know what you think in the comments

@jabersplatt​

[underagoldenmoon]

Under a Golden Moon chapter one - The Liar, The Lie

Trigger warnings for this chapter: homophobia, internalised aphobia

Golden glances around. In front of him, a cluster of adult Guardians are chatting about who-knows-what. To the left, his sister - Stone - is grooming herself, and to the right, trees stand tall like flame. 

Well. Looks like there's only really one option. 

    "Hi there!" The joy he forces into his voice is fake, but it doesn't seem so. He's a practiced liar. He knows what he's doing. This lie will not come back to burn him. 

One of the adult cats – Thistle, he thinks, though he isn't sure – flicks her tail. 

      "We were just talking about the other Guards."

      "Other Guards? I've never heard of those. I thought it was only us and…You know. Them." Malice, this time. Though it isn’t entirely a lie. Good. That’ll make it all the more convincing. Then they won’t think that I’m one of those cats. I’m sure I’ll fall in love soon. And with a molly. Because I’m not broken, or cursed. I’m Golden of Yew’s Guard. I am loyal as summer and brave as fire and I will protect this Guard, despite my current flaw. 

      “No, there’ve been more of them for a while!” Thistle says. “They’re far away though - not founded by Yew or…the followers of that pretender Hazel.”

      "Oh. Well…um…"

Thistle smiles. 

      "I can tell you about them, if you like. Though…do you know how our Guard was formed? 

      "No," Golden admits, embarrassed. The Guard's history never really sparked his interest. 

      "Well, it's never too late to learn!" Thistle is grinning. Though Golden hasn't talked to her much before, something tells him that she is always this cheerful. Whether it's annoying or endearing, it's too soon to decide. 

      "I guess so."

      "Well, it all started many years ago, when a young cat was born who was the Vessel of The Sunlight. But he was more than that - he was The Sunlight. Everywhere he went, the sun shone and shone and never dimmed or fell. That cat was Yew - our founder.

      "He knew that he had one mission - to bring cats together to create a Guard. A group of cats who all work together to protect each other, and to protect the legacy of The Sunlight.

      "But there were other cats, born at the same time, who also had shards of The Sunlight within them. Yew was the one with the most power, the strongest link. But the others were still linked. 

      "There was a time when every Guard would meet up, through The Sunlight's own power which allowed space itself to bend and fracture, so that miles and miles became mere metres. But after Yew died, his influence on the living world began to wane. Because Yew was the source of his power here. Because Yew was the chosen one. 

      "All Guards - true Guards, at least - come from The Sunlight's influence. All Guards look up to Yew as The Sunlight's chosen one. Because he was."

      “True Guards? What do you mean?”

      “You know. Ones who know the truth.”

      “Oh, right! So…we’re a true Guard but Hazel’s Guard isn’t?”

      “Yep!”

At least there’s one thing I can do right, Golden thinks. Even if it’s just knowing not to trust Hazel’s Guard. Hope lights like kindling within him. Maybe he isn’t broken after all. 

Thistle walks off to go hunting, and the rest of the group gradually disperses, until Golden is left alone. Fortunately for him, Stone has gone off to talk to one of her friends, so he doesn’t have to deal with talking to her. She already suspects. By allowing himself to get close to her, he puts himself in immediate danger. He leaves himself ready to burn. She is loyal, but not to him. Only to the Guard. If she works it out before he can fix himself, he’s dead. 

If he were part of Hazel’s Guard, they’d fill his head with hollow nonsense about how his inability to love does not make him broken. That’s because they’re fools who hate the truth. Sure, they believe in The Sunlight like his Guard, but that and a name is all they have in common with them. And that is how it should be. 

Those other Guards are probably made up, Golden decides. It would require another cat to be as powerful, as great, as Yew. It would require Yew's Guard to lose some of its specialness, because it wouldn't be the only one. 

Yes, they must be made up. Just a kittens’-tale. Like the ones about cats of stone or fire. One of those stories that’s been passed down for so long that cats accept it as fact. That’s…that’s the only way. 

The sun is setting, shades of flame coating the cloud-charred sky. Golden returns to the tangle of moss, grass and leaves where he sleeps, nestled between the roots of a yew tree. It’s thanks to his mother’s status that he is able to sleep there. It is generally considered a high-risk location due to the poisonous nature of the plant. But this is the tree which grew where Yew himself died, and there are few spaces to sleep under it. Enough for five families - traditionally those of Yew’s Chosen, the Seconds, and two high-status Guardians. Tradition means a lot. And Golden doesn’t mind the risk, even though - no, because - it keeps him isolated from the others. It gives him an excuse not to love. He pretends to hate it, but he knows that the rules will not flicker for him, and for that he is grateful. Fire can bring warmth. Fire can bring death. The difference is control, and Golden is in control. Of himself, of his situation. He is safe. He built his own safety, with borrowed scraps of that which he is already provided, like a blaze that builds itself up from twigs, branches, scattered leaves, in the wake of a lightning strike. 

It seems to him that in his birth he traded one fire for another. He gave away his love. The only fire left in him is the blaze of lies that he leaves in his wake, spreading through the dry leaf litter of minds only too ready to believe that he is who he says he is. 

He is a liar. He is a lie.

Next

[novaiya]

Love below 0°C - Arthur x Reader

Summary: You’ve just escaped from Blackwater, barely ducking from bullets that were shot your way. Your trusted horse, however, wasn’t so lucky. Stuck in Colter with no stables to buy a horse from, Arthur decides to go out and get you one, but not just any one, a White Arabian. Is the horse the only thing he's bringing back?

Words: 2.8k

Tags: Established Relationship, FLUFF, 

A/N: I think the last line in this piece is the best line I’ve ever wrote simply because oh the image it evokes :(

Based on this request: Could you please do a fic set during the prologue of rdr2 in Colter, that Arthur tries to tame the white Arabian for the reader because their horse died instead of Boedecia, it takes hours to do it and when he brings it back to camp he starts sneezing and catches a cold so the reader thanks him by taking care of him :D

If you prefer to read on AO3, click here.

The wind was brutal, hitting your body with such force that you were wondering how the horses were able to keep going. If it wasn’t for you holding onto Arthur, you were sure that the wind would’ve taken you away.

Having escaped from Blackwater, the entire gang have found themselves up in the mountains, caught in a snowstorm. Although the weather was cruel and you could already feel your limbs go numb, it beat being captured by the Pinkertons and the lawmen that would surely kill you more painful than the weather would.

As everybody rode on, thinking about the next move or the weather, you were thinking about your horse. From the East to the West and back to the East, he was with you through it all. A gift from Arthur, he was the first, and only, horse you’ve had since joining the Van Der Linde gang. He was loyal to you from the start, patient as you learned how to properly ride and take care of him, and he deserved more than to be killed by a stray bullet from a Blackwater lawman. Tears pricked your eyes as you remembered the image of him laying on the ground, taking his last breath right before Arthur ran up and scooped you away, putting you on his horse and riding away from the damned town.

Your head was laying on Arthur’s back as he rode through the snow, following the light of Dutch’s lantern. You were starting to doze off, Arthur’s back, warm and soft, being as good as any pillow. The voices of Dutch and the rest of the gang were fading into the foreground as you fell asleep, the sound of wind howling accompanying you into the dream world.

When you woke up the next morning, you found yourself in a bed, with a blanket over you and Arthur snuggled behind you. Despite the snow outside making the windows of the cabin tremble, you were as warm and cozy as you could be. You turned around in Arthur’s hold, facing him; he was so cute when he slept, with his mouth slightly open. His nose and cheeks were a bit red, indicating that he was probably out in the cold last night. You had to make sure to keep him warm and safe while you were in this weather, you thought, otherwise he was bound to catch a cold. You knew how reckless he could get, forgetting to take care of himself and putting others first. It was one of the best and at the same time worst traits of his.

As if he felt you watching him, he gradually opened his eyes.

“Mornin’,” he said.

“Morning,” you returned. “Were you out last night?” you said, running a hand through his hair and down to his reddened cheek.

“I was. Me, Micah and Dutch went to check out a homestead Micah found. The O'Driscolls got there first. Found a woman there, brought her back.”

“What about the homestead? Can we go back and stay there?”

“Unfortunately, Micah got to it first, burned the whole thing to the ground.”

“Jesus…” you drew, shaking your head.

The two of you were silent for a moment before Arthur spoke again.

“How are you feeling?” he said, eyeing you with a bit of worry. The two of you didn’t have time to discuss the situation till now.

“I’m okay,” you said, shuffling a bit and rising up so you could sit against the headboard. “Just sad about Happy. He didn’t deserve to go out like that.”

“I’m sorry,” Arthur said, following you and sitting against the headboard as well. He smiled as he remembered the day when he gifted you your horse. Since joining the gang, you would either ride one of the unused horses kept by the hitching post, or ride on the back of Boadicea with Arthur. Despite never being without a ride, you felt that you were ready to have one you could properly call your own, and shared that with Arthur. Being the gentleman he was, Arthur quickly took you to the nearest stable and bought you your new horse (an act for which he got a kiss and which started your relationship) “I remember when the two of you first met, you didn’t even have to break him in. He practically wanted you to mount him,” he said with a laugh.

You smiled and chuckled a bit, remembering how quickly you formed a bond with your horse. That smile quickly faded as you realized you were never going to see Happy again. You shook your head, trying to push away the thoughts.

The two of you got ready before going out of your room and into a dining room-kitchen area of the little cabin you stayed in. Molly was standing by the counter, looking out of the window and sipping on a coffee. Hosea was sitting in a chair by the fireplace, warming up his hands. You went to the counter to make a cup of coffee for yourself and Arthur.

“I know it might be too soon,” Arthur said, coming up to you and taking the coffee you offered. “But we need to get you a new horse.”

His words stung you a bit; you felt bad for replacing Happy so soon, but you knew that you had to. If you had no horse, you couldn’t be a productive member of the gang.

“I know,” you said, looking down into your cup of coffee. “But how are we supposed to do that? We can’t just go out to buy one now, it might be too dangerous.”

“I’ve heard stories of an Arabian horse roaming in the mountains not far from here.” Hosea’s voice made both of you look at him.

Arthur turned around to face him. “Do you know where exactly?”

“Well, no one is sure for certain, and they are just that, stories, but people said they’ve seen it around Lake Isabella.”

__________________________

“Just promise me you’ll be careful,” you said, standing next to Arthur’s horse as he mounted it, getting ready to make the trip to Lake Isabella.

“You know me darlin’,” Arthur said with a smile. “I’m always careful.”

You chuckled, slapping his leg playfully.

He bent down slightly, and you stood on your tiptoes, meeting him halfway and kissing him. His lips were cold, and so were yours, but neither of you minded. When you broke apart, he gave you a smile before spurring Boadicea and disappearing into the snowy plain.

You stood in the snow for a few more minutes, looking out into the distance where Arthur rode away to. You hoped he would be careful and take care of himself like he promised. He had a tendency of neglecting himself, being careless and letting himself get hurt or sick. On more than one occasion you had to make sure he wore warm clothes when you were in colder climates, or wore his hat when the sun was especially brutal. Despite being a one of the leaders of the Van Der Linde gang, stepping in for Dutch or Hosea when he had to, he could be so silly when it came to trivial things.  You chuckled to yourself. Good thing he had you, you thought, a thought that Arthur often had himself.

__________________________

The snowstorm was getting more brutal the further he went into the mountains. At some points, he couldn’t even see in front of him, everything hidden by the white of the snow. From time to time, the storm would get so brutal, Boedecia could barely move through it. Finally, after a few hours he could see the frozen Lake Isabella. Everything was covered in white; the trees, the rocks, the lake itself. All the animals that were able to withstand the harsh weather and roamed around too wore coats of white, blending in with the surroundings. In this scenery, Arthur stood out like a sore thumb with his dark blue coat and his black hat.

He hitched Boedecia to one of the trees that lined the shore of the lake before venturing out, trying to get a feel for the surrounding area.

He should get a fire started, he thought, warm himself up before getting to work. That’s what you would’ve done, at least, if you were here. He promised you that he would take care of himself. He felt bad for not doing that, but he hoped he would be in and out within an hour, so forth he went.

It was hours before he finally found her, having missed her white coat in the equally white snow a countless times. Finding her, however, wasn’t even the hardest part, breaking her in, that was. She bucked him off for what he felt like a dozen times. He could barely feel his face in the end, having been thrown off face first in the snow far too many times. Finally, as if the horse was just as tired of bucking off Arthur as Arthur was tired of being bucked off, she gave in, relaxing under him.

Despite being cold, tired and hungry, he forwent setting up camp to rest, already planning the route back to Colter. Being the completionism that he was, he didn’t feel that his mission was over until you had the horse’s reins in your hand.

“Let’s get you to your new owner,” he said, patting the mare’s platinum mane.

He whistled for Boedecia, and when she came, the three of them started their journey back to Colter. The snow storm still blew, but it was not as rough as it was before, and Arthur could see the path in front of him. He noticed how serene and quiet the area was, and if it wasn’t for his occasional sneezes cutting through the silence, there would be nothing heard. When his nose started to run, he cursed himself, using the cuff of his coat to wipe at it.

__________________________

You were standing by the window, sipping on your coffee and looking outside when you saw Arthur make his way up the path on a horse that was as white as a fresh winter snow. “Arthur!” you exclaimed and ran outside.

“Got a present for ya,” he said as he dismounted the horse.

As you looked over your new ride, taking notice of her beautiful, platinum hair and her equally platinum body, you couldn’t help but be distracted by the sneezes and sniffles that came from Arthur. Oh, Arthur! Of course he didn’t listen to you, you thought, probably didn’t set up a fire and most likely spent too much time in the snow. His selfless act, as much as it meant to you, came at a cost that you would now have to help him pay.

“Oh, Arthur,” you said after he sneezed again.

“I’m alright,” he said like he always did, waving away with his hand.

“C’mon,” you said, taking Arthur’s hand in yours and leading him into the house and your room. “Let’s get you warm.”

“Darlin’, I told you, I’m all right.”

He would not have been Arthur Morgan if he didn’t try to reject your help at least once. He hated being a burden to you or to anyone, especially when he was at fault. You, however, after being in a relationship with him for the past few years, learned to not pay attention to his rejections, simply continuing on with what you were doing. With your help, after a few minutes, he was down to his union suit, his clothes, heavy and wet, laying in the corner of the room to be hanged up to dry later. You fished out a fresh set of clothes from your unpacked bags, a pair of pants, a shirt and a warm jacket made of sheepskin, and gave it to him before leaving the room to get a hot cup of coffee and a meal for Arthur.

The room was quiet while you were outside, and Arthur had a moment to let his thoughts travel freely in his mind. He looked at his arms and his legs, clothed in fresh, dry clothes. He looked at the door where on the other side you, his love, were preparing food for him. The warmth that the clothes provided could not rival the warmth he felt in his heart through all your acts of love. He never imagined that someone could love him as much as you did. Not only that, he didn’t think he deserved it, after everything he has done in his life. The words were no match for what he felt for you as you opened the door, balancing a cup of coffee and a bowl of stew as you held the doorknob, your cheeks red from the cold, your eyes full of love as you looked at him.

__________________________

“You silly, silly man,” you said as you sat on a chair next to the bed, looking over Arthur. It has been a few days since Arthur brought back the white Arabian and with her, the cold he caught. He was sneezing, coughing, blowing his nose, the whole nine yards, yet despite all that, he still wanted to get back on his horse and to work. You had to all but tie him to the bed to keep him from going out.

“I need to go out with Dutch,” he would say between sneezes, trying to get up and go.

“They'll have to manage without you,” you would return, pushing him back on the bed and covering him with blankets. “I’m not gonna let you get any more sicker.”

The next few days were mostly spent in the confines of the four walls of your room, with you taking care of Arthur. Surprising yourself, he didn’t fight too much, giving in almost right away and letting you nurse him to health. He could get used to it, he thought, as you kept taking care of him, tucking him under blankets, bringing hot bowls of stew. On a couple of occasions, he caught himself imagining that he wasn’t in some broken down cabin in Colter, hiding from Pinkertons and lawmen, but in his own house, on his own land. The image warmed him up more than any bowl of stew or cup of coffee could.

As you were laying in the bed with Arthur, you could hear the snow storm playing outside, threatening to break the windows and invade the room. Although the walls were cold, with Arthur’s body and a blanket over the two of you, you were warm. By now, Arthur has almost completely recovered, the only trace of the sickness being a sneeze here and there, but it too was almost completely gone.

“You know,” Arthur started, making you look up at him from where your head was on his chest. “It’s in moments like these, when I can see us bein’ somewhere else. Just the two of us.”

He imagined the two of you on your own ranch or a farm. No bounties to hunt, no debts to collect. He could see himself as a rancher, not carrying his gun belt every waking hour, a dog by his side. He imagined you, in a light, flow-y dress, taking care of the house, bringing love and light to it just as you did to every tent the two of you have shared. Maybe the cold has made his mind delirious, but he could even see the two of you grow old together, sitting on a rocking chair on the porch of your house, your hair gray, your face littered with wrinkles, each one telling a story.

“Me too,” you said, imagining a similar scenery in your mind. The mess that had just gone down in Blackwater had shaken your trust in Dutch just as it had for Arthur. Something has changed, and despite continuing following Dutch, the two of you realized you could only rely on one another. It’s a realization, so crucial, which would come to play strongly in the next few months, a lifeline that would lead you to your happy ever after in the end, with you, in a flow-y dress on the porch of your ranch, watching as Arthur tended to the herd, no gun on his hip, only sweat on his forehead from an honest day of work.

[sweeethinny]

Ginny getting hurt in a match so Harry has to take care of James/Albus or both of them

thank you so much Anon, this has become MUCH sadder than I imagined

And sorry, I know you asked for an injury, but I changed it, hope u don''t mind <3

TW: Grief and depressive crisis, nothing graphic

AO3

--------------

Ginny was sick.

But it wasn't the flu, or some bruise, no, it was a different kind of pain.

Harry also knew that for that kind of illness, there was no medicine or tea he could make, just… be patient.

This year had been ten years since the end of the war, and perhaps because James asked who was the one in the photo Ginny was so fond of keeping - she, George and Fred together for Christmas - or because for the first time George managed to talk about his brother at the tribute ceremony… Ginny fell ill.

First, Harry thought it was the flu.

She didn't get out of bed, she didn't want to eat, and she also didn't want to shower.

He gave her tea, medicine and potion, but nothing changed. Ginny still didn't get up, still crying for hours and then hiding in the dark of her room, refusing food and even asking Harry not to open the curtains.

Then Harry thought she might be dying.

Which made him so nervous that he needed Hermione to go to their house, because Ron had to take Harry to the hospital for him to drink a calming potion, such nervousness that it gripped his body, to the point where he couldn't hold his kids in his arms without think he would pass out.

Just the thought of Ginny dying… Harry couldn't even look at James and Albus.

And then, gently after he got home, when the boys got back from Molly and went to bed, Hermione pulled Harry into a corner and told her what Ginny had.

‘'She's suffering the grief she didn't have when Fred died… there was so much going on at the same time, and I don't think Ginny ever processed her grief… But now it's time to face it, and she… is facing it. I don't know much about it, but I think she's having a depressive crisis.”

Harry had never heard that. Never.

But the next day, he had read Muggle books and research on the subject - all during the night, while Ginny slept with her arms around him as if she was afraid he would disappear. Afraid he would die.

Harry asked Robards for a few days off, to look after Ginny, and assured him that the boys wouldn't bother her. In some way, which Harry didn't quite understand, Ginny seemed to be trying to push them, not in a rude way, but as if she was… afraid or ashamed that they would see her that way.

James was suffering from it, Harry saw him crying at their bedroom door after trying to get in there but failing as Ginny had locked the door. It had broken his heart into so many pieces that Harry thought he would never be able to stop crying to take care of James, as if his son's pain was his pain too.

Albus wasn't any better than his brother either, but still, he just didn't seem to understand anything, enjoying his father's presence 24/7.

When night fell, and the boys were asleep, his second mission of the day began.

Harry needed to convince Ginny to get up to shower, so he would take her to the bathroom, and as if she were also a kid, and Harry would bathe her.

Ginny hadn't been very talkative these past few days, which hurt Harry in a way he couldn't explain. She didn't even return his I love you, just shook her head as she tried to smile through her tears. And her silence… Harry much preferred it when she talked non stop about practice, when they argued over something silly, when Ginny laughed out loud, throwing her head back.

Harry would then put her to bed, keep close to her, and tell her everything he'd done that day, hiding the sad parts like when James asked about Mummy and cried about her not having lunch with them, or when Albus screamed that Ginny wasn't the one who was going to put him to sleep, or bathe him.

It was hard work, Harry acknowledged that. There were days when he felt like just… telling her he was tired and wasn't going to do anything so Ginny would be forced to get out of bed and do things for him. It was a quick feeling and one that Harry hated to feel, mainly because it was selfish and unfair. Then he forgot about it the next second.

It was on a Tuesday, however, after lunch, that Harry saw that James was in the room with Ginny.

Albus was sleeping on his lap when he stopped in the hallway to watch the scene, prepared to take care of any damage that might happen.

But all he heard was, '’You know Mama loves you so much, don't you?'’

"I know…I love you more," James spread his arms wide to evidence this, making Ginny smile.

It was the first smile in weeks.

‘’Why are you here, Mummy? I miss you,''

‘’Mum feels it too... It's just... Do you remember when Daddy got sick and we had to let him rest until he was better? Mommy needs some rest too, I…'’ Harry knew she was crying, not that he needed to see her directly, but because of her voice. Plus James bent down to wipe her cheeks. ‘’Mama doesn't know what she's doing, ’’

"At all?" James asked, looking confused. ‘’But you are the mama,’’

‘’I know, but it's just… Mama’s a little confused,’’

"With what?" Ginny took her time to answer, she seemed not to have expected that question.

‘’With… If I'm doing things right, if… if I'm not disappointing anyone, if… if I'm being who I should be,’’

"You're doing fine," James said, as if speaking the most obvious thing. ‘’You are mama,’’

"Oh, son," Ginny denied, sniffling and seeming not to know what else to say, just accepting the hug James seemed so desperate to give her. When she hugged him, Harry was able to see her red face. He wanted to be able to do something. ‘’Mama has a lot to learn,’’

Ginny looked at Harry, who was still standing there, knowing he was crying himself. She waved to him in, pulling James to sit on her lap as Harry placed Albus on his side, sitting next to his son, watching as James looked at him with wide eyes.

"Sorry…I was missing Mommy," James said, quietly and looking sheepish. Harry denied, kissing his son's forehead, unable to say exactly what was going through his head.

"It's okay," he assured him, looking at Ginny as if he expected her to look any better. She was still the same, but at least there was a smile on her face that hadn't been there in the days before.

"It's going to be okay, Mommy," James assured her, kissing her cheek and then the tip of her reddened nose, as she did with him when James cried. ‘’You are strong,’’

"Mommy hopes so, babe," Ginny tucked him against her chest, letting the tears run freely down her cheeks. '’Mummy just…missed her brother a lot these past few days and…Mummy felt a little lonely,'’

"Your brother from the picture?" James asked, and she nodded.

"Yes, Fred," Ginny closed her eyes, biting her lower lip and looking so pained that Harry thought she was going to break. He felt her pain, or at least some part of it. But it was worst.

Perhaps because he had no memory with his parents to torment him on those dates. It was a blind miss, which Harry knew existed, but which was different from what Ginny felt for Fred. She had experiences and memories with him, and somehow that seemed to make it all the more painful.

"But you're not alone," James assured, his little hands cupping his mother's face. ‘’We are here… Dad took care of me, of Al… We are here,’’

"I know… And I love your dad so much for it," Ginny smiled at Harry, then looked back at James. "You know, I love your dad even more for giving me you and Al… You're half me and half daddy."

"Do you love mama, Daddy?" James turned to Harry, still in Ginny's lap, looking very curious.

"Of course, I love her very much," Harry assured him.

''Saw? You're not alone Mommy.” James wiped Ginny's tears once more, his eyes blinking so innocently that it was somehow unfair that he was seeing so much pain in his parents' eyes. ''We're here… Everything will be fine, you'll see, tomorrow everything will be fine and it won't hurt anymore,'' He hugged her, laying his head on her shoulder and closing his eyes, as if he could sleep there, even though it was no longer comfortable for him.

Ginny sniffled. "Yes, my love… it'll be fine," Ginny seemed to speak more to herself than to James or Harry.

Harry scrambled to lie down beside Al, raising the bed with a spell and making them all fit there, Ginny still having James lying down clutching her, and Harry making sure Albus wasn't crushed by his older brother.

He looked at her over the heads of their children, bringing his hand to hers and intertwining their fingers, smiling gently at her.

‘’We are here, ok? It's going to be okay,” he whispered, careful not to sob in mid-sentence.

"I know…" Ginny nodded, sniffling once more. "We are together, aren't we?"

"In health and in sickness," Harry assured her, making her smile. '’Forever,''

[deanstead]

Not Going Anywhere

Pairing: Kelly Severide x Reader

Request by anon: Maybe reader is the paramedic who came in after Shay died and Kelly was really hard on her because of what he’s going through. Reader is just super nice and there for everyone so people end up calling her sunshine. Slowly Kelly realizes he’s falling for her??

Warnings: angst, a little fluff, mentions of death/loss

A/N: Wasn’t totally sure about how to write this request, so it took a little longer than I would have liked but I hope you like what I did with it! Please let me know what you think, I always love reading your replies/reblog tags!! Thanks for dropping by, taglists and Kelly requests are open!

---

It had been a few months since you had started at 51 and you really liked it here. 

It was always difficult starting at a new job but it was even more difficult when the circumstances were that someone had died on the job. Yet, despite those circumstances, things had turned out pretty well.

It had taken a little while but everyone had mostly warmed up to you.

Everyone except Kelly Severide.

He’d snapped at you a few times but on most days, he was indifferent at best.

That didn’t stop you from trying though. Not by a long shot.

That’s what you thought as you put the cup of coffee onto his table, slipping out just before he breezed into his office.

Kelly looked at the coffee cup on his table, glancing at you through his office window before sitting down. That was a better reaction than the first time you had done it - you remembered how he had snapped at you back then.

“Hey sunshine, get over here.” You looked up at Herrmann motioning to you and smiled, turning to take another glance at Kelly.

“You have tenacity, I’ll give you that.” Herrmann said, glancing up at Kelly. “What is it about him?”

You shrugged. “I just… feel it. He needs this, I know it.” You said as you followed Herrmann back into the common room.

Casey got up from where he was sitting with Gabby and headed towards the coffee pot. “He doesn’t know it yet but he needs this.”

You sipped your coffee. “You mean pestering?”

Casey smiled. “Caring.” He paused, “No one does it like you do. It’s only been a few months and look at how you fit in here.”

You laughed. “If that’s your way of saying I’m nosy…”

Casey laughed. “I’m saying, you’re exactly what we needed. Thanks, Y/L/N.”

---

Kelly sat on his couch, two empty bottles of beer sitting on the table, and he was still holding the third one in his hand. The television was on but he was barely paying attention to it as he looked around the empty place.

The doorbell rang and Kelly looked up, stumbling to his feet to open it.

The door swung open, revealing you standing on the other side, clutching a paper bag.

Kelly raised an eyebrow. “What the hell?”

You didn’t say anything but pushed the paper bag into his hands. “You can hate me, don’t take it out on the food.”

Kelly just stared at you as you put up your hand in the form of a greeting and walked away.

Kelly closed the door, a little confused and put the paper bag of food down on the table, his gaze lingering on it.

He sighed. He had regretted it immediately the few times he had been a little too harsh with you for something he knew was out of your control. But it hadn’t seemed to faze you, the next moment you were smiling and breezing your way through the firehouse as if nothing had happened.

You intrigued him but the dull gaping hole that Shay had left behind still hurt. More than he was willing to admit out loud to anyone. He could almost feel a literal hole that had opened up in his chest that seemed to be swallowing him up whole.

Kelly took another swig from the bottle in his hand before his eyes fell on the brown paper bag that was sitting on the table. He paused, before he sighed. Finally, he putt down the bottle and pulled the paper bag towards him, finally digging into it.

---

Casey smiled at you as you walked into the common room.

“Y/L/N!”

You stopped in your tracks, turning to look at him. “Hey, Casey, what’s up?”

“I don’t know what you said to him, but whatever it was, it worked.”

Otis and Cruz looked up as well. You frowned, pouring coffee into a mug before heading for the empty chair opposite Otis.

“What do you mean?” You asked, genuinely confused.

“He ate.” Casey simply said, pulling back his chair. You couldn’t stop the smile spreading across your face but didn’t say anything.

That was progress.

You smiled just as Kelly walked in, his eyes moving around the common room before they landed on you. You paused, holding the eye contact for a moment before letting your eyes drop back down.

Kelly studied you for a while more before he turned towards the kitchen.

Otis looked at you. “Hey, what’s going on with you and Severide?”

“What?” You said, looking up. “Nothing’s going on.”

Otis gave you a look. “I’m serious. Nothing’s going on. I barely even talk to him man.”

“You don’t think we’ve noticed the coffee runs?” Cruz leaned in now.

You rolled your eyes. “I just think he needs someone in his corner. That’s all.”

Otis and Cruz continued to stare at you before you rolled your eyes. “If I’m lucky he won’t snap at me.”

And indeed, lucky you weren’t.

Barely half a day had gone by but the ambulance had been on three different calls. You sat in the back of the ambulance now, arranging the supplies you had left while waiting for Mills to come back with more so that you could replenish the stock.  

You looked up when you heard footsteps thinking it was your PIC.

“And about time, too, this…” You trailed off as your eyes met Kelly Severide’s green ones.

Kelly raised his eyebrows at you. “Hey, Y/L/N, about…” His voice trailed off as his eyes caught onto the open compartments around you.

“Are you changing things in here?” He asked.

You frowned a little, confused. “Ye…ah?”

You saw a shift in Kelly’s expression. “That isn’t your call to make.” He snapped.

Your eyebrows shot up. “Sorry?”

“It’s not your call to make. To change things in here. To change things anywhere in this firehouse.” His voice rose a little more.

You generally kept your cool with Kelly when it came to things like this but it had been months since you had started here. You understood everyone dealt with loss differently, and you never expected everyone to welcome you with open arms, especially considering the circumstances in which you had entered but you had thought you were making progress.

Faced with your silence, Kelly continued. “Shay kept things a certain way for a reason.”

You nodded. “I’m not Shay, Lieutenant.” You saw Peter frowning as he headed your way. “But if this is an issue, Mills can do it and I’ll just follow the PIC’s lead.” You finished

Kelly looked like he was going to say more but you climbed out of the ambulance, moving through the common room and straight for the bathroom.

You took a deep breath as you stood in front of the sink, glancing at yourself in the mirror. You had thought you were making progress. Clearly, you weren’t.

You splashed some water on your face to try to calm down, taking a deep breath before opening the door and heading back out.

---

You hadn’t spoken about what happened, even when Mills had tried asking. Casey seemed to know something was up but you had avoided him too, you didn’t feel like hearing how Kelly was going through a rough time.

Yeah, he was going through a rough time. But you were a person, too. You deserved to be treated like one. You’d been respectful, you’d shown him you were in his corner, and you didn’t even need him to talk to you, you just wanted to be treated like a person.

“Hey sunshine.” Herrmann pushed a beer towards you.

You smiled, “Hey. Thanks.”

“Everything okay?” He asked. You nodded, as you felt someone slide into the seat next to you.

“Just a beer, Herrmann. Thanks.”

You looked up in surprise to confirm what you already knew – Kelly Severide was sitting next to you.

“Hey.” He greeted. You smiled back at him. “Can we… talk?”

You raised your eyebrows but nodded, pushing back your chair and heading to another table further from the bar and out of everyone else’s earshot.

“I’m sorry.” He said, looking straight at you.

Your eyebrows shot up.

“She was my best friend.” He whispered, his eyes dropping down again.

You felt a tug at your heartstrings but instead of saying anything you leaned forward, quietly putting your hand over his.

Kelly’s eyes flicked back up to yours.

You finally spoke, “It’s okay to grieve, Severide. I know.”

Kelly smiled at you for the first time. “Do I still get coffee?”

You smiled. “Maybe.”

“Thanks, Y/N.” He said, so low you almost didn’t hear him.

This was definitely progress, you thought as you smiled back at him. “I better get going.”

“Hey Severide, you know anytime you need to talk, I’m your girl.” You said, a little warily, not sure if he was going to take it the wrong way again.

Instead, Kelly smiled at you, nodding. “And it’s Kelly.”

You smiled.

---

Kelly pushed his way out of Molly’s, still clutching the full beer bottle, turning back once just to look at you.

It was weird, this feeling he had and usually Shay would be the first one he asked about it but…

Kelly knew he had shut everyone out in his bid to deal with Shay’s death – he turned up at work but he didn’t talk and he was cold to everyone, including even Casey. But you were such a warm person, even Kelly couldn’t deny feeling your warmth.

Kelly wasn’t ready to admit it out loud but he was sure that he was glad that it was you who had joined 51.

---

You looked up at Kelly’s apartment building.

Of course, you couldn’t help yourself. And you’d bet your whole apartment that Casey knew exactly what would happen if he told you that Kelly wasn’t well. This was probably exactly what Casey was trying to do.

You shook your head. You really shouldn’t overthink this. You were just here to help a friend. You’d do it for anyone.

Since that talk you had had at Molly’s with Kelly, things had improved significantly. Granted, he was still a little prickly, but he had snapped at you much less. There were times your eyes met across the apparatus floor or across the common room that made you feel a little tingly inside, and Kelly had also started having little talks with you. Nothing too deep or serious, but enough that you felt he had at least accepted you as a friend.

You jogged up the stairs and knocked.

“It’s open.” You heard Kelly’s faint voice from outside. You frowned, wondering if he was expecting someone.

“Y/N?” Kelly’s confusion echoed yours as you pushed his door open. “What are you…?”

“You expecting someone?” You asked, closing the door with your foot and heading to the counter.

“Casey said he was coming over.” Kelly said, but you could hear a faintness in his voice you’d never heard before.

“Oh.” You said, “Remind me to kick him when I see him next.” You turned to the kitchen, putting a pot on the stove, and pouring the ingredients in, as if this wasn’t your first time in his kitchen.

You heard Kelly groan and you turned slightly, glancing at him, lying across the couch, his arm thrown over his face.

You frowned, lowering the fire and putting the lid on the pot to let the soup boil.

Quietly, you moved out of the kitchen. Kelly must really be feeling under the weather considering he hadn’t probed further about the fact that you were in his apartment.

“Kelly?”

Kelly groaned but cracked his eyes open.

“Have you taken anything?” You asked, kneeling next to him.

“I’m fine.” Kelly muttered, shifting his position slightly.

“Yeah yeah” You responded, pulling his arm away from his forehead and putting your hand on his.

Kelly didn’t try to protest further. You frowned but didn’t say anything, going to get an ice bag that you had brought with you just in case. Filling it with ice from Kelly’s freezer, you put the full ice bag onto his head.

Kelly shifted. “Stay still.”

Kelly opened his eyes again, his green eyes looking back at you.

“Get some sleep.” You said, turning away.

Kelly grabbed your wrist. “You don’t have to do this.”

“Once you get some food in you and probably some medicine, I’ll get out of your hair. Till then, you’re stuck with me.” You responded, readjusting the ice bag before disappearing back into the kitchen.

By the time the soup was done, Kelly was up, his temperature was down and he was sitting up, just watching you as you brought a bowl out for him.

“Heya.” You greeted, pushing the bowl into his hands.

Kelly seemed like he wanted to say something but didn’t. Kelly ate in silence and you put the medication on the table, along with a glass of water.

You glanced at Kelly.

“There’s more in the pot. Take the pills, and if you’re still not feeling well, please go to Med.” You said, picking up your bag that was sitting on the coffee table. Kelly remained silent. “I’ll get out of your way now.”  

Kelly reached out again, grabbing your wrist for the second time that day. You glanced at him in surprise. You had figured the first time was a mistake.

“Stay.”

Your eyebrows shot up and you didn’t move for a while.

“You sure?” You asked.

Kelly just stared straight at you, giving a small smile.

You smiled before sitting back down next to him.

For a while, you both sat in silence, until Kelly put the bowl down. “Casey sent you here?”

“Tricked me here.” You corrected but you were smiling.  

“Look.” Kelly said, turning to look at me after downing the tablets you put into his palm. “Thanks, I know I’ve been a bit… difficult.”

You raised your eyebrows. “A bit?”

Kelly chuckled. “Thanks for…” He paused. “Well, everything.”

You smiled.

“Thanks for not giving up on me.” Kelly continued, both your eyes meeting again.

You shook you head, smiling. “I didn’t really do anything, Kelly.”

“Give yourself a bit more credit, look where you are now.” He said, smiling back at you. “Look, Y/N. I’m not that good at the talking.”

You nodded, chuckling a little. “I can see that.”

So instead of talking, Kelly leaned forward, pressing his lips to yours. You could feel the electricity of Kelly’s touch buzz through your entire body.

Kelly smiled as he pulled away. You didn’t say anything and Kelly watched you for a while. “If I get sick, you’re taking full responsibility.”

Kelly chuckled. “Y/N.” He said, “It’s still hard, I….”

You smiled reaching out for his hand. “Kelly. I know. I’ll be here.”

Kelly smiled, leaning in for a hug and you wrapped your arms around him. “I’m not going anywhere.” You whispered.  

---

KELLY SEVERIDE TAGLIST

@keenmarvellover | @securityfriendly-jay | @winterberryfox | @bestillmystuckyheart | @winterreader-nowwriter | @svturtles | @panaitbeatrice | @skyofficialxx | @starlight-halstead​

If you would like to be added to a taglist, you may request here or send me an ask!

[rebeccccccaaa]

𝕭ʟᴜᴇ 𝕳ʏᴅʀᴀɴɢᴇᴀ

_________________________

sᴜɢᴀʀ ᴅᴀᴅᴅʏ!sᴛᴇᴠᴇ ʀᴏɢᴇʀs x sᴜɢᴀʀ ʙᴀʙʏ!ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ

sᴜᴍᴍᴀʀʏ: you come home from california after a year back to your old man

(Heavily inspired by Heroin by Lana Del Rey + Lightly by Old Money by Lana Del Rey)

ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢs:: major angsttt, smut 18+ minors dni plz, bit of fluff, age gap

TW/CW: past drug use [reader], post-rehab

ᴀᴜᴛʜᴏʀ’s ɴᴏᴛᴇs: lana del rey’s music gives me major sugar daddy!steve vibes idky lol

(also brief description of ‘reader’ written to have hair that can moved from the face is like one sentence sorry but ur giving daddy steve a bj)

___________________________

You grabbed your bags and walked to the pick up spot at the JFK airport. It’s been a year since you’ve been in New York and you missed the city terribly. You especially missed your old man.

You stood for a minute scanning the bodies that littered across the floor until your eyes met those beautiful cerulean blue eyes you spent so many hours looking into. Instantly tears brimmed your eyes watching him move swiftly past the people dressed so casually unlike his usual stature sporting that incredible all black suit he always wore.

He looked tired and drained. Like he hadn’t slept in days.

“Y/n,” he came up to you, cupping your face before pressing his lips to yours passionately, desperately.

“Fuck, Stevie. I missed you so much,” you cried.

“I missed you too. I thought about you all the time; everyday, every hour, every second,” he hugged you tightly.

“Stevie, I wanna go home,” you whispered against his lips.

“Let’s go home,” he told you.

Home.

It’s been so long since you’ve been home.

You got to the car and Steve told you to just wait in the car as he put your bags in the trunk. You smiled softly at him before slipping in the passenger's seat waiting to go home like you’ve been dreaming about since the day you left. Steve quickly slipped into the driver’s seat himself and drove off eager to go home and finally hold you close again.

The car ride was quiet. You watch the blurry lights through the wet glass window of the car and your mind could help but wander back to the day Steve saved your life.

One Year Ago

You stumbled your way through the elevator doors with a lazy smile on your face.

“Stevie!!” you screamed when you saw him sitting at the counter with a whiskey in hand.

“You’re late,” he said quietly.

“Sorry,” you said.

“Why were you out so late? I gave you a curfew,” she said sternly.

You weren’t giving him much time, your body was on fire. You unzip your dress, not so gracefully, strippping out of your clothes. You pranced around in your panties and a bra giggling and running around asking Steve to catch you but he was having none of your shit.

“Get your ass over here right now!” his voice boomed startling you.

He pressed the back of his hand against your forehead and roamed his hands along your body anyway but sexually. Your skin was extremely overheated and flushed. He was pissed. You had promised him the reckless behavior was over, but you couldn’t.

You were an addict.

“What the hell are you on?” he said firmly.

“Guess?” you were absolutely not taking this seriously.

“I’m not gonna ask twice; tell me!”

“Molly,” you whispered shamefully.

“God fucking dam-” he rubbed his face in frustration.

"Why do you even care so much you're- I- I'm nothing but a stupid sugar baby, anyway, " you slurred your words.

“You're more than that, and I know you fucking know it. You promised me you were going to stop! I’m done, I'm done” he breathed out. His chest felt like it was tightening, he couldn’t breathe anymore. He felt nauseous.

“No! No, no, baby; please!” you cling onto him like a child.

“You could’ve been hurt! What would happen if that shit was laced with something that could have killed you, hell taking it alone in the first place could have been the last straw! I’m doing this shit with you anymore.”

You cried, no you sobbed hysterically. You need Steve, he was your everything, your rock, your hope, your love. You knew you were a huge mess but you couldn’t stop. You didn’t know how. Didn’t know where to begin, who to go to. You felt alone.

You grew surrounded by money but when you moved to New York, you succumbed to the temptations and your parents were done with your shit. Meeting Steve, agreeing to this sugar baby thing was simply to use his money for drugs and alcohol, that’s all you lived for. Your life was over, might as well fuck yourself over while you're at it.

But you fell in love.

Goddamn, the man was perfect. He was treated with so much love and gentleness and compassion. You hadn’t felt so loved since you cut your ties with your parents and it hurt so good. You wanted to quit for him. The first night he found you disheveled and fucked, you were so embarrassed. You promised him it would stop that you were gonna be clean; but that only lasted twelve hours.

He should’ve ended it. He should’ve stopped whatever this relationship was. He told himself it was one time thing but once turned into twice, then four times until you went out every night getting high off your ass with anything that was available.

Steve couldn’t take it anymore. But like you, he fell in love too. He loved you. He really loved you. He couldn’t imagine his life without anyone else and the thought of losing you made him terrified.

“I’m done! I can’t sit here waiting for you every night wondering if you went too far! Staring at my fucking goddman phone waiting for the day they call and tell me you killed yourself! I can’t do it! You promised me you were done with this shit but here you are high off your ass again with molly,” he cried. Tears streamed down his face, his heart pained at the sight you breaking down.

“I need help, please,” you whimpered.

“Are you going to let me help you?” he sniffled.

“Yes! Please, help me,” you sobbed.

“Pack your things. You’re leaving for California tomorrow,” he said.

“What?”

“There is a rehabilitation center in California and I want you to go there,” he whispered.

“No-”

“Please, Y/n. it’s only for a year-”

“A year! No, I can't be away from you that long, please no!” you sobbed even more.

“It’s for the best,” he tightly holds you down.

“Why not here-”

“It’s for the best. I promise I’ll be waiting right here for you when you get back. I swear,” he looked into your eyes.

“Stevie,” you cupped his face, “I don’t wanna leave you.”

“I know; I don;t want you to leave but I promise you’re gonna get on that airplane and you’re gonna come back and tell me everything’s ok, yeah?” he pressed his forehead.

“Ok. You make me feel I can change. I’m gonna come back and tell you that I have really changed,” you promised.

“I believe it,” he smiled.’

“Maybe California is good. Something about this city makes my head go crazy. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t sick of it,” you told him.

“I love you; so much,” he whispered those words for the first time.

“I love you too,” you cried.

“You ok?” Steve pulled you from your thoughts.

“Hm? Yeah, I’m just- I’m really happy to be home,” you choked out.

Steve grabbed your hand and brought it to his lips kissing you softly. His eyes stayed on the road every now and then glancing at you like a dream come true. You pulled up to the building where you two lived and Steve asked the entourage to take your things up for you. He lifted you in his arms with a beautiful hopeful smile and carried you to the apartment.

When the elevator door opened he practically ran to the bedroom nuzzling his face in your neck kissing lightly. You somewhat took in the familiar surrounding noticing no change since you’d last been there. It was bittersweet. He hadn’t changed a thing since you left.

“I missed you so fucking much, baby,” he whispered.

“Steve,” you sighed, combing your fingers through his hair.

“I’m never gonna let you go again.”

“You won’t have to. It’s all over; no more clubs, no drinking, no drugs, none of it. That girl, you used to call the queen of New York City, she’s gone. ”

“You’re still my queen,” he smirked, making you chuckle.

“I’m so fucking proud of you. You are so strong,” he praised.

You grabbed his neck and pulled him forward crashing your lips against his. You molded perfectly against like you were made for him. Like everything had led up to this moment. It felt different this time; his hands touching you delicately.

You two have had sex many of times but this time it was different.

He peeled your shirt off your body pressing kisses all over your chest. His tongue flicking over your nipple making you gasp softly. His hands gripped at your waist as he brushed his nose between the valley of your breasts.

You craved his skin on yours, practically clawing his shirt off his body. He got the memo and briefly sat up ripping his shirt off his body before falling back on top of you. His hips settled between yours and you could feel his growing erection poking through the material of his flimsy sweats.

You pushed him off your body, flipping him so you could straddle his waist; smiling devilishly as you brought your hands up to your breasts to massage them. Steve growled at the angelic sight above him pulling your hands away to replace them.

He twisted your nipples as you slowly grind your hips over his for a moment. That moment quickly died as you snaked down his body curling your finger over his pants. You languidly pulled them down his legs letting his erected cock spring free. You moaned at the sight, haven’t been able to see it since you left that fateful morning.

You wrapped your hands around the base of his cock and stroked his dick slowly pulling wanton moans from him that were music to your ears. You leaned forward and licked teasingly along the tip before swirling your tongue around it making him groan. His hand went to your head combing your hair from your face gathering it in a messy ponytail.

Your lips wrapped around his cock perfectly just that way he likes it; like you’ve a thousand times before. He looked to the ceiling and sighed at the pleasure you were giving to him. He was never one to make much noise during sex but he was craving your mouth wrapped around him; he couldn’t contain the moans and grunts that wanted to come out. He couldn’t wait until he’s buried between your thighs.

You cheeks hollowed around his dick sucking hard before you take him all at once repeating over and over again. Steve’s hold on your hair tightened with every bob of your head thrusting his hip in time with your rhythm. Hitting the back of your throat, Steve’s hip stuttered and his legs shook approaching his orgasm fast.

“No, I wanna come in you, baby girl,” he panted, pulling you off of his dick. You quickly discarded your panties before climbing back on top of him to straddle him, knees on either side on his hips. You cupped his face kissing him senselessly; passion and lust and most importantly love enveloping you two.

You lifted your hips briefly as Steve lined his cock with your soaking entrance and slowly sunk down allowing him to stretch you impeccably. You moaned in sync, like you were becoming one again after so long being unable to hold each other.

His arms wrapped around holding close as you waited a bit to adjust to his size again. He peppered faint kisses along your neck and collar bone, nipping playfully at your skin too. You felt so full and incredible basking in his attention and the feeling of your walls wrapped around him again.

You moved your hips back and forward, your clit grinding against his pelvis making you shiver in pleasure. You face tucked tightly in the crook of Steve neck, your thrusts getting faster and faster. Steve’s hands moved to your hips lifting you slightly before slamming you back down on his cock harshly. This made you throw your head with a cry of pleasure, strings of curse words flowing from your mouth.

“Fuck, Stevie. I missed your cock so much,” you whined.

“I missed you too baby,” he grunted.

You looked at his face watching it contort with pleasure, his eyes completely screwed shut overwhelmingly. Sweat lined his forehead, the shorter pieces of hair sticking to it. You brought your hand to it brushing his hairs back so you could see his face in it’s fullest beauty.

He peeled his eyes open, staring directly into eyes and breathed heavily in time with you. For a single moment between you both, time stopped. It felt as if the world was gone and all that mattered was right now; you being back in your old man’s arms again, the love of your life.

You couldn’t help the quick glance at his red swollen lips, desire to kiss them again overcoming you. You leaned forward capturing his lips for what felt like the hundredth time tonight, but it's something you’ve ever got tired of. The way slightly chapped lips molded perfectly with yours.

“I love you, baby,” he moaned.

“I- fuck!” you couldn’t even speak anymore when Steve’s thrusts became harder and faster desperate to chase both your’s and his orgasms.

“Look at me baby,” he growled, “You were fucking made for me. No one can ever fuck you like I can. No is ever gonna take care of you like I do. And no one, absolutely fucking no one, is ever gonna love you as much I do.”

Tears streamed down your face; overwhelmed with love and desire and lust. Steve saved your life and you owe him everything. You loved him evermore; he is everything. Steve kissed you again, addicted to your lips, tasting the salty tears that came from your hopeful and loving eyes. He wiped the tears away with his thumb.

“Stevie, I’m gonna come,” you whimpered.

“Come all over my cock baby girl. You deserve it,” he whispered.

Your body shook as you reached your high. Chanting Steve's name like prayer, like it was the only word you knew to say. Steve’s rutted his hips into one last time spilling his seed inside you, hot cum coated your velvety walls. You collapsed forward onto him and he held you tightly.

Your fragile body trembled against him and Steve's heart ached a bit. He knew you were overwhelmed, hell so was he. But he was so utterly happy to have you back. There were so many nights where Steve lied awake at night, unable to sleep without you, day-dreaming of a future with you when you’d come home. He knew you were a strong woman and he knew you were going to come back to him healthy and stronger than before.

He remembers the day he came back to New York after leaving you in California. He was with his old pal Bucky at a local bar in Manhattan. He’s always really known inside that he’d fallen in love with you, he’d proven already that he’d do anything for you. But that night is when he finally admitted it out loud to himself and to others. Steve can’t imagine his future with anyone else but you and he’ll be damned if something happened to you.

“Sweet girl, I love you with all my heart,” he whispered, stroking your back softly.

“Even when I’m old; when I shine from words and not from beauty?” you whispered.

“I will love you evermore,” he said.

He whispered more sweet things as you cried holding him tightly spending your first night back together in his arms. Before, you didn’t know where life was gonna take you; either to the moon or six feet under. But Steve swept you away to a promiseland and you’ll follow him blindly. It didn’t matter where life was going to take you next as long as you were with your old man, you were happy.

Completely and utterly happy.

=====================

ᴛᴀɢʟɪsᴛ: (For all my work)

@mathletemadison​

@buckybarnes101​

@l-sofiamia-l

@pluto-grl

@partr1dge

@stefans-wife

@cordeliaswhore

@fleurlovesbucky

@wandanatasha0720

[study-coffee-chicago]

Three Strikes (A Halstead Brothers + Halstead Sister! Imagine

When you moved in with Jay and Will after your dad had died, they had devised a three-strike system for punishments. Seeing as you were only fifteen and had lost both parents, they knew that they'd be dealing with some teenage angst. So, they had decided on this...and it would help them not be super overprotective, while still allowing you to be a teenager. But, make no mistake, Jay could turn what you saw as one strike into three strikes with a snap of his fingers. Much like his day job as a cop, he could find another thing or two to charge you with that you hadn't thought of before. And, well, bad luck comes in threes. If you thought your first three strikes of this week were going to be bad, you were in for a ride when another two came along.

***

Strike One

"How's it going, kid?" Hermann asked as you walked through the back entrance of Molly's.

"Good, school's normal," you answered, setting your backpack down and then going over to the sink to wash your hands. You brought your backpack in case it was slow because then you could get some reading or studying in.

"How close are you to getting those tickets?" he asked, grabbing a crate of glasses.

"I've got $350 so far, so halfway there. Mind if I listen to music back here?"

"Knock yourself out. But, you know the rules, one headphone so if I need you out there--which I shouldn't and can't because you're too young, but you know what I mean-- if we're slow and I need you to clean tables, you'll be able to hear me."

"Copy that, boss," you joked.

Hermann left with his crate of glasses and went to the front of the house, while you put in a headphone and shuffled one of your favorite playlists to work to. Then, you turned your attention to the dirty glasses and snack plates on the counter that needed to be washed.

***

You were hurrying to put some glasses away on a shelf behind the bar when you heard a voice you knew all too well.

"One of your finest IPAs, Hermann."

Shit. If he was done for the day, then that meant...

"Sure thing, officer," Hermann joked as you quickly pushed through the door and into the back, nearly knocking into Stella.

"Whoa there, Y/N, slow down. What's got you all in a hurry?"

"I just remembered I have a geometry test tomorrow," you lied. "You mind if I slip out now so I have a bit more time to study?"

"Yeah, no problem. I'll let Hermann know. Good luck on the test and don't study too late!"

"I would never!"

Then, you quickly slipped on your jacket and hat, grabbed your backpack, and walked out the backdoor.

All you could think on your three-block walk home was that Jay better not be home, because if he was,  you were so dead.

Jay typically got home around 11pm, and your shift at Molly's ended around 10:30...and your curfew was 10pm. And, because you were only fifteen and couldn't drive yet, it took you about fifteen minutes to walk home, so you'd get home around 10:45 and get all situated to make it looked like you had been studying for at least an hour before Jay got home.

You slowly turned the doorknob to go into the house, hoping that he'd be at the gym or out with Hailey. When you got inside and saw that all the lights were off, you breathed a sigh of relief and started up the stairs to your bedroom.

"I don't know where she is, Will! If I knew where she was I wouldn't be calling you now would I?" you heard Jay yell into his phone from his room.

Shit, shit, shit.

You were starting to walk back down the hallway and go back downstairs, maybe walk to the 24-hour coffee shop near your house and call him and tell him that you had lost track of time studying when you heard a door being forcefully flung open.

Run outside or freeze? Run outside or freeze? He'd see me either way and if I ran it would just make me look guilty, but maybe--

"Where have you been?" You were snapped out of your thoughts by Jay's loud voice booming down the hallway. He marched closer to you as you just stared at him with wide eyes. He crossed his arms across his chest. "Well?"

"I was at the library." But, it came out sounding more like a question.

"Wanna try again? Tell me the truth this time."

"I..." You sighed. Here goes your perfect plan of surprising your brothers with hockey tickets. "I was working at Molly's."

"If you're gonna lie, at least put some effort into it, for me," Jay groaned, throwing his head back.

"I'm telling the truth!"

Jay snorted. "Yeah right. Phone now."

"I'm telling you the truth, Jay! I was there because..."

"Because, why?"

"Uh, forget it." At least, this way you wouldn't have to ruin the surprise.

"Yeah, I knew you were out somewhere you shouldn't have been."

You held your phone in your hand. "I only have one strike. I get to keep it." You raised your eyebrow, daring your brother to challenge your logic.

Jay shook his head and looked down and laughed.

"What's so funny?" you demanded.

"That you think you're right." You opened your mouth to reply, but Jay stopped you. "Strike number one, breaking curfew. But, you knew that. Strike number two, lying to me about where you were because you told me two different places, so at least one, if not both places, were lies. And strike three--care to turn on your phone?"

"Why?"

"You hand me your phone and it turns off or is dead because you ran out of battery, you can keep it. If not, and you turned it off so I wouldn't know where you were, then I get to keep it for a while. Now, hand it over."

You sighed and handed it to Jay. He pressed the home button and when it didn't turn on, he looked at you. "Anything you wanna say?"

"No."

He held down on the power button and the screen became illuminated. When it turned on, he saw the battery percentage. "61%. Guess this is mine for the time being."

"Jay," you whined.

"Don't Jay me. You brought this on yourself. Now, you might wanna get to bed since you have school tomorrow."

"When will I get my phone back?"

"When I say you can have it back."

You groaned and turned around to go to your room and get ready for bed.

"Goodnight to you, too!" Jay yelled at your retreating back.

***

"Grounded, huh?" Will asked when you walked inside after school the next day.

"Jesus, Will!" You jumped. "You scared me." Will chuckled. "What are you doing here?"

"I am babysitting you."

"Jay put you up to this?"

"Yup."

"God, I'm 15," you whined. "He can't trust me for a few hours until he gets home?"

"He did trust you. But, then you snuck off and broke curfew and turned your phone off so he couldn't track you, so you needing a babysitter is warranted."

"Really? You're supposed to agree with me here!"

"No can do. I'm with Jay on this one. Where did you go anyway?"

"I was working under the table at Molly's."

Will scoffed. "Yeah right. If it's so bad that you have to pretend to be working, maybe I don't wanna know. But, Jay's a cop. He'll find out eventually."

"There's nothing to find out. I didn't do anything wrong!" You turned on your heel and started up the stairs. "I'm going to my room to do homework...since I obviously can't do anything else because I'm grounded."

An hour later, Will told you that he had gotten called in to work since there was a multi-vehicle crash and he was needed at Med ASAP. So, he left you home. And, since it was only 5:00, you figured you could get a few hours of work in at Molly's. After all, Hermann didn't know you were grounded.

***

Strike Two

You started your walk home around 10:30 as you normally did. You hadn't seen anyone from Intelligence (or Med) at Molly's when you left, so you hoped Jay wasn't home and that Will was so busy that he hadn't had time to come back and check on you. It's not like Will could call you because Jay had your phone. And, he had it at work with him. He wasn't that stupid that he'd leave it at home because he knew you'd tear the place apart in search of it.

Everything was going fine, except for the fact that you were checking over your shoulder every minute because it was dark and you didn't have your phone. Everything was fine...until you got halfway home.

You started to climb up a snowbank like you had when you were little when you, Jay, and Will would play king of the mountain and push each other off. (Well, they pushed each other off. If they so much as tried to push you, your mom would drag them in by their ear.) Everything was fine...until you got to the top of it.

Whoever had plowed the past few days had done a really shitty job of making sure all the snow was there because, before you knew it, your foot sunk into the top of the snowbank, which was two times your height, and then you fell. When you tried to use your hands to push yourself up, all the snow came falling down around you and you plummeted to the bottom of the snowbank, the sides of it wrapped around you.

You tried to grab on to mounds of snow and use them as leverage to pull yourself out, but it didn't work. The minute you thought you were getting somewhere, it would just fall down and you'd be back where you started. You tried to carve out spots to put your hands and feet, like a rock-climbing wall, but the minute you'd get your foot in, it'd break because of the weight and more snow would fall. You thought that if enough fell from the sides, that eventually it'd get shallower and you'd be able to get out, but then a plow came. It pushed more snow on the pile, making it so that you were standing up straight and barely had room to turn around now.

You took off one of your gloves and threw it out and onto the pile. Hopefully, someone would find you by seeing your glove and looking there. But, you knew it was a long shot as neither Will nor Jay knew you had been at Molly's. And, no one at Molly's knew the route you used to walk home.

"Help!" you yelled.

God, it was so cold.

***

Jay entered the house fully expecting you to run up to him and beg for your phone back...not that he'd give it to you anyway. But, when he got there, all the lights were off. He ventured upstairs and into your room, which was dark as well. It was 11:30, an hour and a half past curfew even if you weren't grounded.

Will had texted him earlier that evening to tell him that he had to go into work because there was a big car accident, and since Jay was suiting up to go into the field, it's not like he could just call someone else to watch you or go home himself. So, he decided to trust that you wouldn't leave the house. Apparently, he was wrong.

Jay pulled out his phone and quickly dialed Will's number. "Will!" he yelled into the phone. "Do you know where Y/N went? She's not here!"

"Shit," he muttered. "I have no idea. Track her-- oh yeah, you took her phone."

Jay rubbed a hand over his face. "Did she at least tell you where she went last night?"

"She told me that she was working under the table at Molly's. So, I assumed that she was doing something really bad if she had to lie that she was working. I shouldn't have come to Med. I'm sorry, man."

"No, it's your job. I should've found someone to stay with her that wasn't on call. I'm gonna go look for her."

"I'll keep my phone on me. Call if you have any updates."

Jay clipped his badge back onto his belt and reholstered his gun. Then, he walked out to his car and got in, intent on finding you.

As he was driving, he called another person who he knew would calm him down in times of stress: Hailey.

"Hey, Jay. What's up?" she asked as she answered the phone. After all, they hadn't been apart for half an hour at this point.

"Hails, can you call the team for me?"

"What? Why? What's going on, Jay?"

"Y/N. I told you that she was grounded and Will was watching her and then he got called into work. So, he left her at home and when I got home, she- she was gone."

"Okay, I'll call everyone. Did she give you any hint of where she went? Maybe mentioned it to you last night or Will today?"

"Yesterday she told me she was at the library and then she told me she was working at Molly's...which I'm pretty sure are both lies. But, then today she told Will she had been working under the table at Molly's. So, I honestly really don't know where to start."

"I know it's a long shot, but start at Molly's. If you don't get anything from there, we'll regroup at the district."

"Okay, thanks, Hails. If I get anything at Molly's, I'll call you or send a text to the group chat."

"No problem. We'll find her."

Ten minutes later, a very determined Jay Halstead walked into Molly's.

"Hey, Jay," Stella said. "What can I get for you? Adam just left if that's who you were looking for."

"No, I'm actually wondering if you've seen Y/N? She told me and Will this BS that she was working under the table here, so it's the first place I thought I'd check."

"She didn't tell you?" Stella asked, sliding a beer down the bar to Kelly.

"Tell me what?"

"She was working here, Jay. She'd work until about 10:30 and then she'd go home."

"What? You can't be serious."

"I've seen her around a few times," Kelly supplied. "Thought you guys knew about it. Good way for her to make some extra cash and since it's under the table, no taxes."

"So she did tell me the truth last night. God, I'm such a jerk."

"Why are you looking for her?" Kelly asked. "She not at home?"

"No, I got home and she wasn't there. And, I grounded her because she broke curfew and I thought she was lying about where she was last night, so I took her phone. Any chance either of you has seen her tonight?"

"She just left around an hour ago," Stella said.

"She did? You know where she went?"

"I think she just went home like she normally does. You need help looking? We can help. I can close since there's not many people here and we can help you."

"No, no, it's okay. My team's on it. Don't want Hermann to chew me out over lost business."

"I'll help," Kelly volunteered. "I'll also call Casey and Brett so if something happened and we need a medic, Brett's there."

God, Jay hadn't even thought about the fact that you might be hurt. He just assumed you had gone out partying.

"Okay, thanks. I'm gonna give Hailey a call and we'll go from there."

"Hailey," Jay started after walking to a secluded part of the bar. "Stella and Kelly both said that they had seen Y/N working at Molly's. And, that she got off work tonight at 10:30 and they assumed she just went home."

"Okay, the team's here. I'm putting you on speaker."

"Kelly said he'd call Brett and Casey to start looking for her, so I guess we just look for her. I don't know where she would've gone." He sighed. If he would've just believed you, this wouldn't have happened. If he would've just let you keep your phone this wouldn't have happened. It was all his fault that he couldn't find you.

"We can't put out a missing persons report yet since it's only been a little over an hour since someone last seen her. We'll meet you there. Start searching. One of us will find you and give you a vest. She couldn't have gotten far."

"Thanks, Sarge."

"Hey, Casey and Brett are on their way. They're stopping by the firehouse to grab jump bags just in case," Kelly said, finding Jay in a secluded corner.

Jay nodded.

"I've got some flashlights in my car," he supplied. "They should help us until your unit and Casey show up with more." He clapped Jay on the back. "We'll find her, man. If she was heading home, she couldn't have gotten far."

"Yeah, yeah, thanks, Kelly."

The two walked to his car and grabbed the flashlights. "We'll just start towards the right I guess. That's the quickest way to get home from here if she was walking."

***

"Jay!" Jay turned when he heard Hailey calling his name, running up to him with a vest in her hand.

"Hailey," Jay breathed a sigh of relief when he saw his girlfriend. At least she'd be here with him.

"Here." She handed him the vest. "You have your gun?"

"Yeah. And Severide gave me the flashlight."

"Brett! Casey!" Kelly yelled as he saw two more figures coming toward them, Brett carrying the two jump bags and Casey carrying more flashlights...which weren't needed now that Intelligence was here.

"How are we doing this?" Casey asked.

He looked to Jay, but this wasn't Jay's decision. It was Voight's. And Jay was glad his sergeant had recognized that because there was no way his head was clear enough to put together tactical plans.

"Hailey, Jay, and Severide take the way that you two were previously going. Take a jump bag. Adam, Kim, and Brett start going slightly to the right in a diagonal off of Jay and Hailey. Take a jump bag. Me, Kevin, and Casey will go to the left off of Jay and Hailey. Since there are only two jump bags, if we find her, we'll radio you for it."

"Copy."

The three groups started walking, all their attention on finding you. Jay put his hands in his vest, trying to keep them warm on this cold night. He didn't think he'd be out in the freezing cold searching for you, so he didn't have gloves or a hat with him.

"I, um, I should call Will," Jay said, breaking the silence. "Just to let him know that we're looking for her and that she wasn't lying to us."

"Hey, any sign of her?" Will asked as he picked up his phone on the second ring.

"No. Um, she wasn't lying to us. She was working at Molly's and she went there tonight when you left to go to work."

"And?"

"Stella said that she usually just goes straight home. So, we're looking with some help from Severide, Casey, and Brett."

"We?"

"Intelligence."

"Need me to come help? I'm sure they can find somebody to cover for me."

"No, no. I think we've got it under control. But, if we need more bodies to find her, I'll call you."

"Okay. Find her, Jay. You have to find her."

Jay hung up his phone with those words echoing in his mind. You have to find her. You have to find her.

"What's that?" Hailey asked as they approached a snowbank five minutes later.

"Looks like a glove," Kelly said as he walked closer.

He and Hailey started to slowly climb the snowbank, being careful not to fall through while Jay just stood there. He knew that glove. You had one just like it. But, it had to be a coincidence, right?

"Oh my God," Kelly said as he looked into the small hole in the snowbank, seeing you squished up against the edges, the hand that didn't have a glove blue. Your eyes were closed and your lips were a shade of blue.

"What?" Jay yelled, rushing up the snowbank.

Hailey was quick to stop him. "Jay, I need you to take a step back, okay? We have to get her out of here and we need to be rational about this."

"Get her out of this? Out of the snowbank?" She nodded. "You're telling me she fell into a fucking snowbank and she's stuck, half-frozen to death?"

Hailey nodded. Jay just stood there, staring at the hole you must've been in. Severide laid on his belly and started to reach in when Hailey stopped him.

"No sudden movements. We've gotta get her out slow with minimal movement."

"I know, I'm on squad. But, can you radio Brett for me? We might need her here so that she can take a look at her."

Severide reached in and slowly placed his hands under your armpits. Then, with slow movements, he pulled you out, careful not to jostle your body and pull you straight up and out.

"Jay, can you come and grab her legs? Help me lay her down?"

"Uh, yeah," he replied, snapping out of his trance.

He crouched down and grabbed your legs just as Brett, Adam, and Kim came running over.

"Keep her steady," Brett ordered. "No sudden movements." The two boys started to lower you to the ground when Sylvie stopped them. "She can't be in direct contact with the ground. I need something warm on the ground first. A jacket or something."

As soon as Sylvie said that, Adam ripped off his vest and took off his coat. "Will this work?"

"Yeah, that should work. Just set it down and then they can carefully lower her."

They did as the PIC told them.

"I've got a pulse. It's slow but it's there," Sylvie said after she had pressed her fingers to your neck.

Jay crouched down and put his hands over his mouth to stop a sob from tearing through his body.

Somehow though, he found enough of his voice to speak into his radio, "This is 50-21 George. I need you to roll an ambo to my current location. We have a fifteen-year-old female hypothermia victim."

"Okay, whoever can brave the cold and take off your jacket, I need you to do it now. We need to keep her covered until an ambo gets here. Kelly, pass me the warm, dry compress from the jump bag."

While Jay shed his coat and Hailey radioed the rest of the team to let them know that you had been found, Kelly helped Sylvie with the compress. "I'm going to lift her head and then I need you to put the compress under her neck," Sylvie instructed.

"Okay," Kelly said. Sylvie gently lifted your head and Kelly slid the warm compress underneath. Then, he laid your head back down.

She turned to see Jay rummaging through his jump bag, activating two more compresses.

"What are you doing?" she asked him, stepping away from you and to your very worried brother.

"Putting more on her. What does it look like I'm doing?"

She was taken aback by his tone, but didn't take it personally because she'd probably do the same thing if it was her sibling in this situation...and he also wasn't a trained paramedic.

"If you're gonna put one on her, just place it on her chest."

"What about the rest of her body? Her arms? Legs?"

"Jay, I know you're worried about her. But if you put them on her arms or legs, the cold blood will go back towards her heart and lungs, lowering her core temperature even more. We need to try and increase her core temperature, not decrease it."

"Here." He handed her a compress. "For her chest."

"Thank you."

Then, they heard sirens in the distance. Jay just hoped this was enough for now.

***

"Incoming!" Maggie yelled to the already overrun ED. "Fifteen-year-old female, hypothermia. Fell into a snowbank. Used dry, warm compresses in the field, and paramedics put warming blankets on her in the ambo, but they said they need something more than that with how low her core temperature was."

Will ran towards the doors as they opened and revealed the paramedics, followed by none other than his little brother. And, on the gurney, there you were, eyes closed, breathing slowly, a nasal cannula underneath your nose.

"Get her into treatment two," Will said.

"Will, you can't treat her," Maggie said.

"You see another doctor that's free, Maggie?" She raised her eyebrows at him. "I didn't think so. It's not like I'm performing surgery. Hopefully, this will be standard rewarming and shouldn't take that long."

"Fine."

Will entered treatment two just as they moved you from the gurney to the bed. He listened to your heart and determined that that was fine, as were your lung sounds. Then, he moved on to taking your temperature.

"Ninety-three degrees Fahrenheit," Will declared. "Monique, start an IV of one unit of warm saline and we'll get more re-warming blankets."

"Yes, Dr. Halstead."

"Jay," Will said and motioned for him to follow him out of the treatment room. "What happened?" he asked once the two were out of the room.

"We found her in a snowbank. She must've climbed it on the way home and fell in. She couldn't get out. Kelly pulled her out and then Brett came and-- Oh God. If she wasn't there, I could've killed her, Will. I could've killed our little sister."

"Jay, take a breath. She's okay now. She's in good hands. What do you mean you could've killed her?"

"Brett started to get those compress things out and I thought I was helping, so I started getting more. And- and, I almost put them on her legs and arms. If Brett wasn't there to stop me, I could've stopped her heart. God, I could've killed her, Will. It would've been all my fault."

"Jay, listen to me. You didn't do that. So, stop thinking about it. She's fine." He looked up and saw all of Intelligence coming into the ED waiting room along with Brett, Casey, and Severide. "Now, I think you should go tell them that she's gonna be okay. Tell Brett good job for me, too."

Jay nodded and walked away from his older brother, trying to will the tears in his eyes to go away.

"How is she?" Kelly asked when Jay entered the waiting room.

"Her temp is 93, so she's still got a ways to go. But, Will just mentioned standard rewarming, so hopefully, that's a good sign. Brett, he said to tell you good job."

Sylvie nodded and Jay took a seat next to Kelly. He put his head in his hands.

Kelly placed a hand on Jay's shoulder. "Hey, it's gonna be okay. Sounds like it's not anything too serious."

"Yeah, but if I wouldn't have taken her phone or I would've just believed her, we wouldn't be in this mess."

"It's not your fault. She was trying to keep it a secret from you anyway. Wanted to surprise you."

This piqued Jay's interest. "Surprise me? What do you mean?"

"She was saving up money to buy you guys opening night tickets to the Blackhawks next season, that's why she didn't want to tell you because she wanted to surprise you and Will with them."

"God, she was trying to do something nice and I grounded her for it."

"Jay," Hailey started, walking up to him with two cups of coffee, "you did what you were supposed to do with the information you had at the time. This isn't your fault. It was a freak accident. It could've happened to anyone who climbed that snowbank. Hell, it could've happened to us when we climbed it tonight."

"I guess you're right. Thanks for the coffee, babe."

"Wait. Are you two...?" Kelly trailed off.

"Yes, it's no big deal. We signed the HR forms and everything," Hailey answered as Jay sipped his coffee and tried to stop blaming himself for what happened.

***

You slowly opened your eyes and your first thought was I'm cold. Why am I so cold? You pulled the blankets closer to you, but then you realized that they weren't the blankets from your bed, but thick, heated blankets.

"W-What?" You started to talk, but your teeth chattered while doing so.

"You gave us quite the scare earlier," Will said as he walked over with a thermometer. "Now open."

"Why am-am I--"

"Jay can explain all that while this thermometer takes your temperature. Now open and lift up your tongue."

You did as your doctor brother told you and opened your mouth and he placed the thermometer in. You looked at Jay expectantly.

"God, you scared me so much. When I found you in that snowbank..."

"I'm s-sorry," you said with the thermometer still in your mouth. Will gave you a pointed look and you clamped your mouth shut until it beeped.

"Ninety-five. That's the cut-off for me letting you go against medical advice...but lucky for me, you're minor, so me and Jay get to decide when you can go home," Will started after he removed the thermometer. "And, I think we're keeping you here until you reach at least 97."

"Will," you whined.

"Sorry, Y/N. Will's the doctor here, so what he says goes," Jay said.

"Please remember that next time you inevitably end up in here," Will retorted.

"Not a chance." Then, Jay turned back to you. "I'm sorry I didn't believe you. I know you were just trying to surprise us."

"I was scared," you said. "I thought I was gonna die there."

"I wasn't gonna let that happen. You want me to get you something warm to drink while you tell Will why you were working at Molly's?" You nodded. "Decaf caramel macchiato? No way are you getting caffeine."

"Yes please."

Jay left and Will turned to you. "What were you trying to surprise us with, Short Stack?" he asked, using your nickname.

"I was trying to save up money to get us tickets to the Blackhawks home opener in October." You shivered. "Can I have another blanket. I'm still c-cold." Your teeth chattered once more.

"Of course." He retrieved another heated blanket and wrapped it around you. "Why didn't you tell us you were working at Molly's under the table?"

"I thought you g-guys would be m-mad because it would get in the way of school. So, I d-didn't tell you. I didn't want t-to wreck the surprise. I was-wasn't lying to you when you asked me where I was."

"I know that now. I'm sorry I snapped at you earlier. You just have to see it from my and Jay's perspective though. You working was the last thing on our minds, so we just assumed the worst."

Jay came back with your large decaf caramel macchiato. "I got it extra hot."

He went to hand it to you, but you yawned. "I'm t-tired."

"I know you are. It's past one in the morning," Will replied, looking at his watch. "But, I want you to drink at least half of this before you go back to sleep, help you get your core temperature back up."

"Okay." You took the coffee from Jay and set it on the tray in front of you.

"Thank you. I'm sorry for everyth-thing."

"I know. It's okay. I'm just glad you're safe." He pulled your phone from his pocket. "I believe this belongs to you."

You took it from his outstretched hand. "Thank you."

"You're welcome. It'll give you something to pass the time while drinking half of that."

***

"You called in reinforcements?" you hissed at Jay when you, him, and Will walked into the house around 8 am the next morning...well, the same morning, but you considered 1 am to be nighttime.

"Hey!" Jay protested. "They just wanted to see how you were doing. Kelly was the one who actually got you out of the snowbank and Stella was about ready to shut down Molly's to help us look for you."

"I bet Hermann would've been thrilled about that," you said sarcastically.

"That's what I said! And, Hailey's just here because, well, she's Hailey."

"And they love each other," Will chirped, earning himself a smack on the back of the head from Jay and a glare from Hailey. "You guys are no fun!"

"My house, my rules," Jay remarked.

"I thought that only applied to Y/N."

"Nope, applies to you, too. Speaking of Y/N..." Jay trailed off and turned to you. "Go park it on the couch."

"Fine. Just let me go get changed first."

You walked into your room and changed into your favorite pair of joggers and a hoodie along with some kitty cat slippers. You then grabbed your favorite blanket and wrapped it around you and grabbed your phone charger, too. Your temperature was still about one degree below average, but Will and Jay had agreed to let you come home on the condition that you'd just stay on the couch and drink warm beverages and relax.

"Do they meow, too?" Severide asked as you sat on the couch.

"Do what meow?"

"Your slippers. Do they meow?"

"No, no they do not, Kelly. They're just comfy."

"And for a four-year-old," Will chirped.

"Honestly, at this point, I wish you guys would've just left me in that snowbank. Then I wouldn't have to deal with your annoying asses."

"Jay!" Will yelled.

"What?" he hollered back from the kitchen where he and Hailey were busy concocting your mom's famous chicken soup recipe.

"Y/N swore! She needs to put money in the swear jar!"

"The swear jar?" Kelly laughed. "Jay actually does one of those? Because if you could've heard him last night, he'd be putting at least twenty bucks in there."

You smiled at Kelly and made your way into the kitchen, the aroma of chicken soup hitting you immediately.

"Smells good in here," you remarked, causing Jay to turn around from where he was stirring the soup at the stove. Then he moved a few feet and reached up on top of the fridge where the swear jar was located and held it out to you. You shook your head. "No."

"Did you or did you not swear?" he asked, raising his eyebrows. Hailey just stood next to him with a small smile on her face and it was clear that she was trying to stop herself from laughing.

"I did, but--"

"No buts. You either did or you didn't."

"Jay, be nice," Hailey scolded. "She just got hypothermia from falling in a snowbank. The least you could do is let her off the hook for swearing."

"Yeah, listen to Hailey. And, Kelly said you swore a lot last night when you were trying to find me, so if I have to put a dollar in there, he said that you should have to put twenty dollars in there."

"That's not how this works. The rule is if you swear around us or we swear around you. And, if I recall correctly, you weren't there because we were freezing our as- our butts off looking for you."

"Ooooh, good catch, Halstead," Hailey laughed. "You almost had to put even more money in the swear jar."

"Even more money? What are you talking about?"

"I'm with Y/N on this one. If you make her put money in, you have to put at least a twenty in for all the swearing you did last night."

"Fine," Jay whined. "You don't have to put any money in, but just this once. Now, would you please let me finish making the soup? And, you need to go lay on the couch."

"I love how Will didn't yell at me for getting up, but you, the non-doctor of the family, are."

"Technically, I didn't yell. Yelling was what I did when I took your phone away."

"Yeah, yeah, I'm going, going." You waved him off and headed back to the couch.

"You really suck, Will. Do you know that? At least Kelly and Hailey have my back because if Hailey wasn't in there, he would've made me put money in there."

"Hey, don't blame me. You were the one who said it. I just ratted you out."

"Snitches get stitches."

"I'm the one who actually knows how to perform stitches, you, on the other hand, do not."

"My God," Stella laughed. "It's like watching a reality show seeing you three all in the same room."

"Child," Jay said as he handed you a bowl of chicken soup along with a spoon.

"Good Lord, Jay. I'm fifteen."

"I know. You're still a child though since you're a minor."

"You're a minor," you mocked. "And you both are annoying, so I say we play a game."

"See? Like I said, reality show," Stella reiterated. "What game?"

"Never have I ever." Everyone groaned when you said that. "Hey, I'm the one who was stuck in the hospital, so I think you can all put up with this game."

"Fine," Kelly agreed, and then the others did, too.

"We'll go youngest to oldest," Will stated. "So, you start, Y/N."

You smirked. "Never have I ever gotten married in Vegas."

"Low blow, Y/N!" Jay yelled as both he and Kelly put a finger down and Kelly threw his head back and laughed.

***

Strike Three

That night, you quickly fell asleep. It felt like you had been asleep for hours when in reality it had only been two. You hugged your blankets tighter around your body as you started to shiver. You laid there and tried to fall asleep for who knows how long as a cold sweat started to break out on your forehead, back, and chest. God, you didn't want to get up, but you felt like something was wrong, so you slowly got up--still wrapped in a blanket--and made your way over to the guest bedroom where you knew Will would be sleeping.

"Will," you whispered as you walked into the guest room. He didn't stir. "Will." You tried again, this time louder, and you stepped closer and shook his shoulder.

"Hmmm," he groaned as he rolled over and fluttered his eyelids open. But, the minute he saw it was you, he knew he needed to be awake. "Short Stack?"

"Yeah, it's me."

"Are you okay? You don't usually wake me up at night." He sat up and turned on the bedside lamp. Then, he saw your sweaty face. "Are you feeling sick?"

You nodded. "I feel really cold, but I'm sweating."

Will reached over and put the back of his hand to your forehead. "You feel a little warm. C'mon, let's go take your temperature. Your legs hurt?"

That was one of the tell-tale signs of you having a fever, your legs hurting.

"Not yet," you answered.

Then, you went to the kitchen--as Will had left the thermometer and his medical bag at the kitchen table--and sat down. You took the thermometer from Will and put it under your tongue.

When it beeped, you took it out and handed it to him. "100.5," he read.

You groaned. "What is going on? First, my temperature was too low and then it stabilized and now it's too high. I just wanna sleep, Will. I'm so tired."

Will shushed you. "The lovebirds are sleeping."

"You know, if Jay heard you say that, he'd hit you, right?"

"Well, good thing he's sleeping. Now, go back to bed and I'll check on you in a few hours. Come get me if your legs start hurting, though."

You nodded and went back to bed. You tossed and turned and tried to get comfortable. You stuck one leg out from under the covers, but then you were too cold, despite half your body still being covered, so you settled on just letting your foot stick out. But, after forty-five minutes of that, you got super cold again and got up to retrieve the extra blanket you had set of the chair of your desk.

The first thing that you noticed when you stood up was how much your legs ached.

"Shit," you muttered.

You grabbed a blanket from your bed and wrapped it around you and grabbed the one from your desk chair and did the same thing. Then, you walked down the hall and to the guest bedroom.

"Will," you whispered as you poked your head in the room.

"Yeah?" he asked as he rolled over and turned on the lamp. He must not've fallen back to sleep after you had woken him up the first time.

"My legs hurt."

"Okay, let's go back to the kitchen and re-take your temperature, see if it went up."

You nodded tiredly as he got out of bed.

"You gonna fall over? Need me to help you get to the kitchen?" he asked as he approached you still standing in the doorway.

"No, I think I can walk," you answered.

You made it to the kitchen without falling over and then took a seat at the spot you had been just an hour ago. You stuck the thermometer in your mouth once more and waited for it to beep.

Will was rummaging around through the cupboard--and making a lot of noise, so he'd probably be the one who ended up waking the lovebirds up as he liked to call them--so you read the reading on the thermometer to him. "101.1 Went up point six degrees."

"Ah, found it." He grabbed the bottle of Tylenol and filled a glass of water and handed the two things to you. "Here's what you're gonna do. You're gonna take this, drink the entire glass of water and I mean the entire glass, and then you're gonna take a lukewarm bath. Hopefully, that'll lower your temperature."

You nodded, your eyelids heavy. You did as you were told and then handed him the pill bottle. When he closed the cupboard, his hand slipped, resulting in the door of it slamming shut and it echoing throughout the house.

"Fuck," he muttered.

"Swear jar," you whispered.

"Yeah, yeah," Will replied with a way of his hand. "I don't keep money in my pajamas, so I'll put a dollar in, in the morning."

"The hell was that?" Jay asked loudly, rushing into the kitchen with his gun raised.

Will threw his hands up in a sign of surrender. "Whoa, man! Don't point that thing at me! What do you think I'm trying to do? Rob you?"

Jay set his gun on the counter. "Sorry about that. What are you two doing up? It's--" He checked the time on the microwave. "--2:11 in the morning." Will motioned towards you. "Did her temperature drop or something?"

"It didn't drop, it increased."

"Well, that's good, right?"

"It was good when she hit the average temperature, but now she's got a fever of 101.1."

"Shit."

"Swear jar...for both of you."

Jay groaned and Hailey entered the kitchen. After explaining to her what was going on, she offered to help you into the bath because your legs were so achy.

But, you knew that Will would want to periodically check on you even if Hailey was in there, so you changed into a pair of spandex, a sports bra, and a crappy tank top while Will started the bath.

"Have her stay in here for about twenty minutes and then I'll be back in to check her temperature," Will told Hailey and then he retreated back to the kitchen to talk to his brother.

Hailey knocked on your bedroom door and you said she could come in. "How do you want to do this?" she asked. "Want me to keep you steady on the way to the bathroom, or do you just need help getting the tub?"

"Just need help getting in," you told her. But, as you walked out of your room, down the hall, and into the bathroom, she stayed right next to you in case she needed to catch or steady you.

Meanwhile, in the kitchen, Jay was feeling like an idiot with all the medical talk Will was doing.

"So, how'd she get a fever if she was just in the hospital with hypothermia less than 24 hours ago?" Jay asked.

"It's the rebound effect. It's rare, but it's a pathophysiological thing where some people get pyrexia after hypothermia especially if ischemia occurs."

Jay blinked rapidly. "English please?"

Will sighed, he sometimes forgot that people around him didn't know all the medical terminology like the back of their hand like he did. "It's a rebound effect, which is rare. And, it's when there's a disordered process in the body after a disease or injury. In Y/N's case, it's a disordered process that's happening in her body after her temperature had regulated after the hypothermia. So, some people get a fever--which in the medical world is called pyrexia--when ischemia happens, which is a fancy for an organ not getting enough blood supply. Didn't you say that Y/N had a faint pulse when you found her?"

"Yeah," Jay answered. "Brett took her pulse once we pulled her out and she said it was slow."

"Okay, so because the heart was pumping slower, it meant that less blood was circulating, which could mean there was less blood to her other organs, so we could be looking at ischemia."

"Could?"

"That, or she could have a mild case of pneumonia. That happens more with patients who are treated for hypothermia. Ischemia happens more in patients whose hypothermia went untreated for a longer amount of time."

"But, I didn't hear her cough at all."

"You can have pneumonia without a cough. It's not common, but it can still happen. We just have to wait and see if she starts hacking up a lung or if her fever gets up to 103, then we'll bring her in."

"Hey guys," Hailey said as she walked into the kitchen. "We have a problem."

Jay's eyes widened and he sprinted to the bathroom, ever the overprotective brother. Will retrieved his medical bag and followed him.

"You have got to be kidding me," Jay whispered. "It takes her like half an hour on average to fall asleep each night, but she falls asleep in ten minutes here? In the bathtub of all places? What do we do?"

"We have no choice but to wake her up," Will said.

"But she's been saying she's so tired."

"I know, but we can't let her sleep in the bathtub."

"You said what, twenty minutes before you have to take her temperature again?" Hailey asked and Will nodded. She checked the timer on her phone. "She's got a bit more than seven minutes left. How about we just let her sleep until the timer goes off and then we wake her up, take her temperature, and get her back to bed?"

"That is actually a good plan. And, not getting her out of the tub until the timer goes off could help her fever go down a bit more."

"I'm full of good ideas," Hailey joked.

Seven minutes later, you squeezed your eyes tightly shut and then opened them when you heard the sound of an alarm go off. "Hmmm. What happened?" you mumbled, rubbing your eyes with your wet hands.

"You fell asleep is what happened," Will answered. "Now open."

"But I'm in the bathtub. How did I..." you trailed off. "Oh."

"And I thought Jay was terrible at remembering things," Will chirped.

"Shut up. My body's fighting something. My energy isn't going to my memory or common sense at the moment."

You put the thermometer in your mouth and waited until it beeped for the third time tonight. Then, you handed it to Will.

"101.1 still," he read. "No change. Are you feeling any better worse? Legs hurt more or less?"

"I feel the same. I don't know about my legs because I'm sitting down."

"Here," Hailey said holding an arm out. "Grab on to me and I'll help you. Can one of you grab a towel?"

Jay went to the closet to grab a towel and you grabbed on to Hailey's arm. As you stood up, your legs ached a bit, but not more or less than before. But, you were only standing up. You hadn't taken a step yet.

You placed a foot on the ground and walked a few steps to where Jay was standing, holding a towel out to you. As you took those steps, you felt the familiar ache in your calves. It was stronger than it had been when you had gotten in bath.

God, it was like someone was rolling a rolling pin up and down your calves and pressing it into your muscles.

"Will," you whined once you had successfully wrapped the towel around your wet body. "It hurts. My legs hurt so bad."

Will all but shoved Jay out of the way and crouched down a bit. "Tilt your head back for me." You did as he said and Will moved his fingers to feel around your neck, specifically in the area of your lymph nodes. "Quite a bit more swollen than I would've liked to see them, but we'll check back in the morning. Any sore throat, coughing?"

"No, I just feel hot and cold and--" you stifled a yawn "--tired."

"Lean on me and then Hailey can help you get changed. If that's okay with you?" Will asked, turning his attention from you to Hailey.

"It's no problem."

"And then you can go right back to bed."

"Okay," you mumbled. And then, slowly but surely, you got down the hallway and into your bedroom.

Once you were changed, both of your brothers came in, Will bearing the disgusting "bubblegum" flavored liquid Benadryl and a small cup with blue liquid. Jay held a water bottle and a bowl.

"I know I gave you Tylenol about an hour and a half ago," Will started, "but, it was a low dose and since your fever didn't drop at all in the bath, I'm going to need you to take this."

He held the tube that contained the thick pink liquid out to you. "No," you whined. "Just give me more Tylenol."

"Y/N, this will make you tired so that you're able to sleep. And, Jay's out of Nyquil, so this was the only option I had. Please, just take it. You can chase it with this blue Gatorade I stole from Jay."

"You didn't steal it...this time. I let you have some," Jay clarified.

"Whatever. Point is, just please take the medicine."

"Fine," you mumbled and took the tube from him. You downed the medicine and made a face, immediately reaching for the Gatorade to wash the nasty taste out of your mouth. "That was gross."

"Sorry," Will apologized.

"Here's some water and a bowl in case you have to throw up," Jay told you as he set them on your bedside table.

"I don't feel nauseous."

"It's just a precaution. Now, we're gonna go back to bed. Need anything else?"

"No. Goodnight guys. 'Night Hailey. Thanks for helping me change. Probably would've fallen over if you weren't here to help."

***

"It's 10 am," Will said as he stood up from the couch the next morning. "I'm gonna go wake her up."

"Shouldn't we just let her sleep if she's sick?" Jay asked. "Thought you'd know that much since you're the doctor."

"Shut up. I have to take her temperature again. That Benadryl must've really knocked her out."

"It'll do that to you. Why do you think Mom would give it to us the night before school started? So we could sleep."

"Aww, did you guys get nervous?" Hailey joked.

"No. You know how most parents have their kids start to go to bed earlier about a week to two weeks before school starts back up?" Hailey nodded. "Yeah, our parents didn't do that. We just took some Benadryl and then we slept like babies and were well-rested for school," Jay explained.

"Well, I'm gonna go check on Y/N. Be back in a bit."

Will walked into your room to see you still fast asleep with your arm hanging off the bed. As he got closer, he noticed some discoloration on it...right where the IV had been.

"Shit," he muttered. He lightly touched your shoulder, causing you to stir a little. "Short Stack." You groaned. "Short Stack, you gotta wake up. It's past ten and I need to take your temperature."

You rubbed your eyes and sat up in bed. Then, you pulled your right arm close to you. Without looking at it, you started to scratch it.

"No!" Will grabbed your arm.

"Why? It's itchy." Then you looked down at it and saw that it was all red and had little bumps on it. It looked a little bit swollen, too. "Why's it look like that?" You shivered and pulled the blankets up around you.

"Still cold?" You nodded. "Legs still hurt?" You nodded once more. "But, to answer your question, it could be an infection from the IV. Or you could be having an allergic reaction to the meds...but we only gave you warm saline, so that wouldn't happen."

"Is that bad? And, can you take my temp--" Your teeth chattered from shivering. "--temperature so I can go back to sleep?"

"Yeah, don't know if you're gonna be able to go back to sleep." You reached for your arm to start itching the IV site, when Will clamped his hand around the spot. "No. You can't itch it. Because, if there's an infection in it, I don't want you tearing the skin and getting it even more infected."

"Then put some anti-itch cream on it from your medical bag. I'm sure you have some in there."

"I have some, but I don't know what you have, so I don't know how it will react. But, I can put some medical tape on it."

You rubbed your eyes and threw your blanket off of you. "Why am I so hot? I was just super cold two seconds ago."

"Because you have a fever. I know it sucks, but I need you to hold your arm out to me so I can tape it up."

You held your arm out and reluctantly allowed him to tape it.

"Are you hungry?" he asked. "I can make you something cold like a smoothie?" You shook your head. You didn't want anything cold. "Please? I'll make you a small one and I won't put any spinach in it. I know Jay puts spinach in them and it's huge and you have to drink the whole thing."

"Fine," you sighed. "Can you put mango chunks in it?"

"I can do that. No itching."

You sat on your bed and tried to go back to sleep, but you were stopped when Will came back in. He didn't lie. The smoothie was small and from the color you could tell he put mango chunks in it. He also held a thermometer.

"Before you drink this, I need to take your temperature."

You took the thermometer from him and waited for it to beep. And, you made the mistake of looking at the numbers when you took it out of your mouth. "Is this bad?" you asked as you held it to your oldest brother, your eyes going wide. "Am I gonna die?"

Will looked at the thermometer. "102.7 is high, but you aren't going to die. But, since your arm is itchy and it broke out in a rash at the IV site, I'm bringing you in. Drink your smoothie and then Hailey will be in to help you change." You opened your mouth to protest, but Will held up a hand to stop you. "And, yes, Hailey's going to help you because I don't want you falling over."

You nodded and picked up the smoothie. And, Will went back to tell your brother and Hailey what was going on.

"She getting better?" Jay asked as he poured himself another cup of coffee.

"Worse."

"Worse?" He set his coffee cup down and turned his full attention to Will. Hailey, who had been sitting at the table eating a banana, turned her attention to him as well.

"I think she has an infection at her IV site, which could be what is causing her fever. Her fever's 102.7 right now. I gave her a smoothie and I told her after she finishes that, that Hailey can help her change, and then she can get ready and we can go."

"Shouldn't we go now?" Jay asked.

"She's still fully conscious, not delirious, so I think that we can let her wash her face and brush her teeth before we leave. If she starts acting that way, we'll leave earlier. For now, I think it's okay as long as someone's with her when she's doing these things just because of how sore her legs are so she doesn't fall over."

"Alright. Second hospital visit in 36 hours? Med needs to give us Halsteads a frequent flyer card."

***

"Jay, do remember anyone else who gave Y/N an IV other than Monique? Monique's the short blond nurse, looks younger than she actually is." Will asked as he, Jay, and Hailey were sitting in the waiting area while you got your blood drawn.

Jay looked up at the ceiling and scrunched up his face. "Uh, I know there was someone else. I just don't remember the name or what they looked like." He closed his eyes and thought for a few more seconds, trying to conjure up an image. "Oh! It was a kid."

"A kid?" Will asked. "Man, I don't think you slept enough last night."

"Kid as in he was younger than us. He said he was a med student."

"Any more details? Know what he looked like?"

"Jeez, Jay. I think we might have another Halstead detective on our hands. He might even be better than you," Hailey joked.

"Babe, you're supposed to stroke my ego, not crush it," Jay replied with a fake pouty face. "But, to answer your question, second detective Halstead, the kid was white, kinda scrawny."

"Okay, I'm gonna go check with Earl, see if I can get him to pull up the security footage from two nights ago. You remember what time the med student came in?"

"Two, three in the morning maybe? I was in and out at that point."

"Okay, thanks. Be right back. And, Y/N should be coming out soon. I got Mags to draw her blood just to know it would be done right. And, according to Monique, she's got really small veins."

"And this matters because...?" Jay probed.

"She might have to draw her blood from the big vein in her forearm, not one in the crook of her arm. But, Mags is good at this, so hopefully, she won't have to. Be back soon. Text me if they put her in a room."

"Got it." Jay turned back to Hailey. "How was she this morning? You know, when you helped her change?"

"She said her legs were sore. I had to help her get into her jeans and even help her get out of her t-shirt and into the shirt she's wearing now because, when she put her arms up, she said that they hurt to stay up...especially the right one, which is the one Will taped because she kept trying to itch it."

"So, her entire body is sore basically?"

"Essentially."

***

"Hey, Earl," Will greeted as he walked into the security office.

"Doctor Halstead, what can I do for you? And, why are you in your street clothes? Heading out early?" Earl asked, spinning around in his chair to face Will.

"No, I actually had to bring my little sister in because I think she got an infection from her IV. I was wondering if you could pull up the security footage of the ED two nights ago around two, three in the morning? My little brother, Jay, said that a med student changed her IV around that time and I need to find out who it was."

"So you can fire him?"

Will chuckled. "I don't have the kind of authority, Earl, and you know this. Only Ms. Goodwin can fire someone. I just need to know who it was so I can tell her what happened."

"If you say so." Earl started pressing buttons on his computer until he got to the ED and the specific timeframe Will mentioned. "Any specific room?"

"She was in treatment two I think."

Earl nodded and continued pressing a few buttons. Then, he played it in fast forward and told Will to tell him when to stop.

"There." Will pointed at the screen when he saw a med student, whom he didn't even know the name of, changing your IV. "Can you back up a few minutes? Just so I can watch and see what actually happened?"

Earl did and Will started to watch the footage. "You've got to be kidding me," he mumbled as he pieced together what happened.

This med student had came from a room where he had given another IV and had missed the vein. He wiped some of the blood away with his gloved fingers and then patted the blood dry on the patient's IV site and then bandaged it. But, he walked into your treatment room without changing his gloves. Then, he went right on to changing your IV. And, since you had small veins, he missed the first time, causing a tiny bit of blood to come out of your vein. He wiped it away with the same finger he had wiped the previous patient's blood with, with the same glove which contained a smear of said previous patient's blood.

Whatever that patient had, Will was fairly certain that you now had it, too.

***

"What's the verdict?" Will asked when he got back into the waiting room and saw you, Maggie, Hailey, and Jay.

"She has Mono," Maggie said.

You yawned and turned to Will. "And can you please tell him--" you thumbed towards Jay "--that I haven't been--" You yawned again. "--making out with a bunch of boys because he keeps asking for names."

Will let out a small laugh. "Well, it is caused by swapping spit mostly, but Y/N got it because that dumbass med student didn't change his gloves when he came in to change her IV."

"Wow, she must really be tired," Jay remarked. "She didn't even mention the swear jar."

"Just get me a snack on the way out and we'll be even." You put your arm on the armrest of the chair and laid your head on your hand.

"I don't know if you'll be awake to get that snack, Short Stack."

"How long until I'm not tired?"

"Symptoms should clear up in two weeks at the earliest, a month at the latest," Maggie answered. She turned her attention to Jay. "I know Will will probably tell you this too, but I'll tell you now. Even though it came from an IV, it's still technically a viral infection, so there's no antibiotics for it. The best course of treatment is just rest and fluids. And, if she's achy or her throat gets sore or the rash persists, ibuprofen will do just fine."

"Can I put itch cream on this?" you mumbled, motioning to your bandage on your right arm. Maggie had to draw blood from your left arm since the right one was bandaged up. Hopefully, you wouldn't get a rash on this one, too. But, you trusted Maggie and knew that she was the best nurse in all of Chicago Med, probably all of Chicago even.

"Yes, you can do that."

"Thank God."

"You know this med student's name, Will?" Maggie asked.

"No, but I had Earl pull up the security footage so I could figure out what happened. I'm sure he could go back so you could take a look at him and tell him off. Or talk to Goodwin."

"You want him fired?"

"I wouldn't go that far. But, he needs to be held accountable. And, Mags, don't take this the wrong way, but you're scary when you're angry."

"So is Jay," you mumbled, cracking your eyes open for a few seconds.

"Okay, Short Stack the Secret Spiller," Jay joked, "let's get you home before you tell Maggie everybody's business in this family."

***

2 and a half weeks later:

"God, I forgot how nice it is to not have to take a nap," you said as you sat on the couch reading a book for your English class.

"I will say, it was nice to have some peace and quiet around here," Jay said as he handed you a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

"Thank you. And, I'm am not that loud!"

He snorted. "Yeah right."

"At least I don't have PDA with my girlfriend when my little sister's in the room."

"In my defense, I thought you were taking a nap."

"So, you and Hailey decided to have a full-on makeout session--which probably would've progressed into something more had I not come out of my room to get a glass of water--on the couch instead of in your bedroom where you can lock the door. Sounds a little suspicious to me."

"We would've--you know what, never mind. You don't need to know."

You were about to try and get him to tell you when you figured it was probably about sex. "Yeah, I don't need to know. You two are nasty."

"Keep thinking that way until you're thirty." You rolled your eyes and took a bite of your sandwich. "How much more you have to read?"

"Five pages. Why?"

"We have to be at Molly's in an hour."

"Why?"

"We just have to be there, okay? And, wear your Hawks jersey."

Technically, it was Jay's old Brent Seabrook jersey, but he got a new one with Toews' name on the back, so he gave it to you. It was in good condition. The only caveat was that the jersey went down to your knees; you practically drowned in that thing. But, you didn't have to pay for it, so you'd take it.

"Why?"

"Just do it. And, no more questions. This is starting to sound like an interrogation."

***

"Why are you wearing your Hawks jersey?" you asked Jay as you walked into the living room forty-five minutes later.

"What did I just tell you? No more questions, kid. No more questions."

Then, there was a knock on the door and Will entered, sporting a Duncan Keith jersey. "Okay, so we're going to Molly's...in Hawks jerseys...but there's no game on tonight. I'm thoroughly confused."

"And that's how we want you," Will joked.

You rolled your eyes. "I just want to know what I'm walking into."

"And you will," Jay started, "...when we walk into Molly's. Now, c'mon, let's go."

When you got to Molly's it looked like any normal day from the outside. But, then you opened the door.

"Surprise!"

Inside the bar was all of firehouse 51, some people from Med, and all of Intelligence plus Trudy. But, the stars of the show were Duncan Keith and Brent Seabrook, stars of the Chicago Blackhawks, who stood in the middle of the bar.

"How did you-- What-- How?" you stammered, trying to piece together everything with a gigantic smile growing on your face.

"Kelly's pretty great," Jay supplied. "He knew that you were saving up for tickets. So, he called Clarke, who just so happens to be really good friends with these guys."

"And he explained everything," Seabrook walked up to you and volunteered. "I gotta say, going behind your cop brother's back to save up for tickets takes some guts."

"Yeah," you agreed. You were talking to a famous NHL player? What did you even say?

"You excited for the game tomorrow?" Duncan Keith asked.

"It's a rivalry game? Who wouldn't be excited?"

"Well, lucky for you, I just happen to have three center-ice lower bowl seats for tomorrow's game. And a season ticket holder package for you and your brothers to meet the team."

"For-For me? Are you being serious?"

"Hey, someone who falls into a snowbank and then gets sick just from trying to get tickets, well, that's the least you deserve."

"You know, if my cop brother would've just believed me when I told him I was here, I wouldn't have fallen in that snowbank."

"Hey, I would've been worried, too."

"See, Y/N? Even Duncan Keith agrees with me!"

You smiled and rolled your eyes at Jay. "You have a sharpie?" you asked him. "I need to get this jersey signed."

And, while Jay had a good reason for implementing the three strikes rule, after that whole fiasco he was reluctant to take your phone away. Because this could've all been avoided if Jay believed you and hadn't taken your phone away. But, you got Blackhawks tickets out of it...and you got to meet the whole team, so it wasn't all bad.

A/N: Thank you for reading! Sorry, I haven't updated in a while, school has been very hectic. But, the good news is I'm done in two weeks and then have a six-week break, so hopefully, I'll be able to crank out a bunch of Seasons of PD/Med then. Anyway, thanks for reading! I did a ton of medical research for this imagine, so if anything's inaccurate, I blame google or the research articles I read. Also, please like/reblog and comment! I love hearing what you guys think! As always, if you want to be added to my tag list, just tell me and I’d be happy to add you!

Taglist:

@theambracer88 @virtualreader @kelelas-life @celyndavies @brookerz122493 @musicismyescape27 @anotherfan07 @thexplosivegirl @dreamingwithlens @xoxmariaxox @onechicago18 @iamasimpingh0e 

[pineapple-lover-boy]

Omg I just saw this comment on Instagram head canoning that Dean Thomas could be the son of Regulus Black, here this out:

Dean was most likely older than most of the class (probably born around when Hermione was born, September 19, 1979). We don’t know Regulus’ death date but it was in the year 1979. This means that Regulus would’ve most likely been alive when Dean was conceived as it would’ve been around late 1978 or early 1979 when Dean was conceived.

He is most likely older than most of the class because he was not one of the students listed that couldn’t take the apparition during 6th year, so he had to have been older than most of the class and born in 1979.

Their theory states that:

Regulus joined the death eaters

Met Dean’s mother

Fell in love with her

Conceived Dean

Then placed a charm on Dean’s mother (similar if not exactly he one Hermione placed on her parents) so that she wouldn’t remember him

And then he went off and died

This is my own variation:

I don’t believe Regulus would’ve told any muggle about the wizarding world unless he was already married to them, despite knowing that that would never happen

This is because it’s common practice to marry a muggle and then tell them

It also would’ve been safer for her

(This was mentioned in the post but I’m going elaborate more)

It was mentioned how at around 18/19 are when most people at that time had children (Lily and James, presumably Molly and Arthur) so it wouldn’t be too weird to consider Regulus having a child at that time

But I want to propose something else

I think he wanted Dean

Let me explain:

There was a war going on

It’s my own personal head canon that most had their children right out of Hogwarts so that they could continue their bloodline should they die

(Lucius and Narcissa didn’t need to do this, having Draco at around 25-27, because they thought they were on the winning side, in fact, Voldemort was winning at the time so they had no need to have a child earlier)

I believe that Regulus, starting to slowly change his views, knew that his end was near

He also knew that apart from his brother, who never seemed interested in relationships (not just for Wolfstar but in actual canon) so he realized that to continue his bloodline he would need to have a child

He didn’t want to have a child with someone on Voldemort’s side because they would raise the child to be prejudiced

He couldn’t on the good side either as they either knew he was a death eater or suspected it due to his family’s reputation of being blood supremacists

And plus, if he was seen conversing with someone on the opposite side then the whole thing would’ve been wasted as he would be tortured and killed soon after

His only option would then be a muggle

He probably didn’t like the idea at first but as time went on he began to realize that he had to find someone soon

If some are confused or need some more details; despite him starting to change, family would still be important to him

It isn’t easy for someone to throw away everything they’ve ever known so I believe that he would’ve still cared about his family line continuing

Anyways, he probably found Dean’s mother on a whim

I doubt he would’ve cared which muggle carried his child

But I do believe that in trying to coax her into falling in love with him (he’s a handsome Black so it would’ve been easy, and he wouldn’t use a love potion because it was most likely known the affects of conceiving under one) he fell in love, or at least had some affection for her himself

Which would give him more reason to not tell her about the wizarding world

Then as the time came for him to go to the cave, he sent a letter to her, as he does

Just one final goodbye disguised as a normal one sided conversation of his day, his hopes, and his love and affection towards her

And if he had lived? I still doubt he would tell her, even after the war ending

He would most likely just want to get away from his parents, the imprisonment of his brother, and the rejoicing done by so many

He would stay by Dean’s mother and help raise the boy

Perhaps Dean’s sisters could’ve been Regulus’s in that timeline

He would surely have lots of explaining to do when Dean got his letter (as a teacher wouldn’t go there, even if he was hiding it would have at least been known to the faculty at Hogwarts that Dean was Regulus’s child)

I do believe, though, that he would have died when Voldemort came back

Way in the beginning

He would’ve been chased down and killed for disobeying Voldemort and living a muggle life with a muggle wife and half blood/squib children

If he was a other his family then they (squibs or children not old enough) would’ve died with him and only caused Dean to fight against Voldemort more

It would’ve also created more of a drift between him and Seamus as Seamus was someone who believed Harry was lying about Voldemort

I believe it’s a very interesting head canon and I fully support it.

The original theory was by gods_quill on Instagram under a post by weasleytwins that talked about how Dean’s canonical father was killed by Voldemort, leaving Dean and his mother behind and leading them to believe he was muggleborn.

[backtothefanfiction]

WHAT BENNY DOESN'T KNOW | Chapter 6

A TRIPLE FRONTIER STORY

Summary: Things get heated on the mountainside then five months later Santiago knocks on your door asking for a favour.

Warnings: Language, mentions of sex.

Word Count: 3997

A/N- Hey guys thank you so much for your love on this series, after the heaviness of the last chapter this one is more story development for how we ended up at chapter 1. It's split into three parts; the boys interaction on the side of the mountain, Santiago coming to your flat to ask for a favour and you meeting with Frankie in a diner to collect on that favour for Santi. This is the second to last chapter and I am currently working on the final chapter so we can end this story and Friday on a high! In the meantime I hope you enjoy.

PART SIX | TRIPLE FRONTIER

Without you, the mission had become a shit show. Five days full of reckless testosterone clouded decisions that had lead to them trekking across the Andes, millions of dollars literally being lost over the side of a cliff, three different gunshot wounds between the group and multiple dead bodies; including Tom's. The sun had almost fully set now, just a dull hazy glow on the horizon as Santiago, Will and Frankie lay back against the bags of money, waiting for the younger Miller to return. The tension was thick between them and not just because of the multiple fuck ups or the fact they had lost a friend.

Each one of them had brought up your name at some point during this trip, wondering if things would have been different if you had been there. A strong team of six instead of five. Santiago had watched Frankie subtly flinch, every time he heard your name and although he himself wished you had been there, he could clearly see now why you had said no. He still didn't completely know what had happened between you and Frankie other than what he found out that one night in Italy; but he knew if you had been on this mission with them right now, the team would be even weaker, not stronger.

“I'm gonna say something. Are you listening?” Frankie's voice said strongly, breaking the stoic silence that had befallen the three men since Benny had left their company.

“Yeah.” Santiago murmured, acknowledging the statement.

“We gotta get back on our game.” Frankie said. “Enough of this. It stops now. You Understand?”

“Copy that.” Santiago replied.

Frankie had ended up spending more time than he thought he would thinking about you these last few days. Even with everything that had happened between the two of you, it felt odd to him doing a job like this without you. Over the years and countless missions you had all worked together, you had become a partner to him. His co-pilot, the one who always had his six. The absence of you only served to remind him of how fucked up things were between you now. He felt himself tense anytime one of the boys said your name. He spoke with a venom, anytime he was dragged into a conversation about you. That was until he lost a mule over the side of the mountain.

The rocks had given way bellow the animals feet and he had watched helplessly as it fell to its death, bags of money exploding as they hit rocks. His own mortality truly hit him then. His mind raced to images of his daughter and Laura but then they turned to you and that's where they stayed. Tom's death a day later had only reinforced those thoughts more. If he died on this godforsaken mountain before he had a chance to talk to you and sort everything out, it would be the biggest regret of his life. He needed them all to get back on their A game. He needed to get back to you.

“Why did she say no to the job?” Will's question permeated the silence. It was a question that had been on his mind since the very beginning and one Santiago had tried to avoid and work around the whole mission. Santiago remained quiet, trying to work out the best way to respond.

“Because of me.” Frankie's confession rang out. Will sat up then, looking at Frankie confused, silently asking him to elaborate. Santiago's gaze had also turned to Frankie, but it was a soft look, one of pride that his friend wanted to face up to his demons instead of run from them. Frankie's look back to Santiago was a desperate cry for help. Although he knew they all needed to get this out in the open so they could work better as a team, he also was struggling with how to say it.

“He was sleeping with her.” Santiago tried to say as gently as he could. Although he knew the relationship between you and Frankie had been fucked up, he also knew you were both hopelessly in love with one another, which was what had made things between you so much more complicated.

“Wait. What?” Will stuttered out in shock. “When?”

“About 11 months ago.” Frankie quietly confessed. Will gave Frankie a hard look as he realised he was telling him he had cheated on his partner with you. “Look, I know.” Frankie said in response to the stare, “It wasn't exactly my finest moment.”

“How long for?” Will questioned.

“A couple of months. She broke things off when she found out Laura was pregnant. That's why she took that job in Italy.” Santiago's mind raced as he remembered back to the night he spent with you in Italy, his head dropping sheepishly. He thought if he kept his head low, he'd get away with not having the Italy conversation with Frankie but he was wrong. Frankie had recognised the look on Pope's face and the fact his was currently staring away from them at the rock in front of him, just told him how guilty his friend felt.

Will had watched the exchange, analysing the looks between the two men before him. “What happened in Italy?” he asked, suspecting there was something about your time over seas that they were both privy to and hiding from him.

“Why were you in Italy with her Pope?” Frankie doubled down.

“I went to her first to talk about the job.” Santiago said, only giving half the truth. Frankie fixed him with a hard look, forcing him to elaborate. He wanted to know how that fucking phone call had come about. “Look she wasn't answering my messages so I got on a plane, went over there and-” his sentence hung awkwardly in the air a moment as he tried to decide how to carry on. “Look, I thought that if I got rid of the guy she would be free to come back with me and do the job, but she got mad at me.” Frankie and Will listened intensely as Santiago continued to babble. “Look I did some things and she said some shit to get back at me. Look man I didn't know.” He looked desperately to Frankie.

“But even after you did find out you still fucked her, right?” Frankie's voice bit back. It was more of a statement than a question.

“I'm sorry man, but you should have seen her face.” Santiago felt his cock twitch just at the memory alone. “She freaking begged me Fish.” Santi's voice pleaded, trying to get his friend to understand. Will scoffed in disbelief over the conversation they were having. “Hey.” Santiago said rounding on him, “You would have done exactly the same thing if you were there. You're just bitter because you only got to fuck her the once.”

“HEY!” Frankie's voice cut across Pope.

“No, you don't get to act like you're her knight in shining armour right now and defend her honour, not when you used her like you did.” Santiago snapped back at Frankie.

“I didn't use her.” Frankie attempted to defend himself.

“You fucking snorted coke off her body, fucked her, then went back home to continue playing house with your actual girlfriend. If that's not using her-”

“I told her I fucking loved her and that I wanted to leave Laura, that I was gonna get clean for her and she fucking cut and run on me man.” There was silence as the weight of Frankie's statement hung in the air between them. When Frankie spoke again, breaking the silence, his voice was softer, curious. “Did you make her?” He didn't want to ask but he needed to know. The 60 second phone call had played continuously on a loop around his head ever since it had happened, the words haunting him.

“Yes.” Santiago's voice was timid and he struggled to look at his friend. “If it helps, she really tried to fight it man. I think she liked that it had been your thing.”

“What?” Will questioned, confused by the ambiguous conversation his friends were having in front of him. “What did you make her do?” His voice was worried, protective. Both Frankie and Santiago struggled to meet Will's eyes. “What did you make her do?” he asked again his voice demanding an answer.

“I'm sorry man.” Santiago said.

“He made her squirt.” Frankie said at the same time. Will's expression was one of reserved surprise.

“Wait you both?” Will asked, looking for clarity.

“Yeah.” Santiago said. There was a silence again as the information set in.

Something Santiago had said was weighing on Frankie. “What do you mean she begged you?” Frankie asked him timidly.

“She's been torturing herself man. She feels so guilty about everything that happened, she's just looking for a way she can live with herself.”

“What did you do?” Frankie asked, he was scared of the answer but wanted to know, his own form of punishment.

“Tied her to the bed and edged her to within an inch of her life.” Santiago's statement was slightly rushed and guilty. Will fought to remain silent as he began to picture the scene in his head.

“Did it help? Did it make her feel better afterwards?” Frankie continued to question.

“She's in love with you man.” Santiago said softly. “Those feelings aren't just gonna go away. She's gonna be carrying them around with her for the rest of her life. She's always gonna be stuck wondering what would have happened if things were different. Wondering if there ever would have been a way for you guys.” Santiago's statement left everyone silent once more. None of them brought it up again, but they couldn't stop thinking about it.

---------------------

It had been 5 months since you had come home from Italy. 5 months since the boys came back from their trip to South America. Will and Ben had escorted Tom's body back to the states and broken the news to Molly. They stayed with her as she broke the news to her girls and made a point of being there for them whenever they needed.

For 5 months, Will and Benny were the only company outside your family that you saw, but even then you didn't see them as often. None of you met up as a group again. You hadn't even heard from Santiago, that was until he showed up on your doorstep late one Saturday afternoon. “Hey Querida, I need your help.”

You reluctantly let him in, ushering him inside your small apartment. “What do you want Santi?” you asked as you continued to hover near the front door.

“I've got this job-”

“Nope, no way.” you quickly cut in. “After what happened in South America, I don't think so. Besides I thought that was supposed to be your last job. You said you were retiring.” you folded your arms across your chest defensively.

“I know, I know. But this isn't like that job.”

“Are you determined to burn every friendship you've ever had?” you spat at him, a warning to choose his next words very carefully. Will and Benny had told you everything when they got home. Both of them were shells of the men they once were, it almost pained you to be around.

Santiago collapsed onto the sofa, his head hung in his hands. “I know I fucked up.” he said slowly. “It was a shit job. I wanted to be able to just let it go and move on but I can't. I can't let that be the last job I did. The last thing that defines my career for me.” You softened at the broken man's words.

“What's the job?” you tentatively asked him.

“Corrupt cop.” he said, finally lifting his head from his hands.

“What?” you questioned slightly shocked. You had not been expecting that but you were immediately invested and Santiago knew it.

“He's based along the border between Columbia and Brazil. Been taking bribes and working with the cartels down there for years. With Lorea out of the way he's kind of stepped up to the plate behind the scenes, but he's nothing without his money.”

“So it's just getting the money, then getting back out.”

“Yes.”

“I'm assuming because he's a corrupt cop this is all gonna be done off the books.”

“That's why I need the team. The whole team.”

“They'll never go for it. Not if it's coming from you.” Santi looked at you then, his eyes pleading. You could read his mind without having him say it. “No.”

“They'll do it for you.” he said getting up.

“No, I'm not lying to them.”

“Please.” he said placing his hands on your arms. His eyes were desperate, “I need this.” You couldn't help but look at him with pity. He was far from the man who had teased you in Italy just a few months back. You could see the effects of his last failed mission clear on his face and his body. The dark circles under his eyes from nights of restless sleep. The extra patches of grey scattered amongst his dark curls. All he wanted was one last good job so he could rest in peace and think back on the glory days with fondness. He needed an excuse to make things right with his friends.

“Fine.” you reluctantly agreed. “But if they are gonna believe this is my job, you are gonna have to really let me take charge of this. You gotta give me everything you know.”

------------------

Getting Will and Benny to agree had been easy. You had brought it up over beers one Sunday afternoon. They hated corrupt cops as much as you and Santi and although they had been a little apprehensive when you told them Santiago was also going to be on the mission, they still agreed to go anyway for you. Frankie on the other hand was probably going to be a little trickier.

You asked him to meet you at a local diner on a Saturday morning. The sun was streaming through the windows onto your little booth. You couldn't tell if it was just the heat from the sun, shining through the glass making you feel like you were in a green house or just your anxiety at seeing Frankie for the first time since he had told you he loved you, but you felt like you were suffocating. You were contemplating abandoning this whole thing and bolting for the door when he finally walked in, the little bell ringing out, drawing your focus to him.

He looked good. He was wearing his favourite t-shirt, an unbuttoned shirt thrown over the top, the sleeves of which were rolled up, showing off his muscular arms. You became aware you were staring and quickly dropped your eyes to the half full cup of coffee, that now sat cold in your hands in front of you.

“Hey.” he said as he approached the table. You looked up at him, your nerves clear on your face.

“Hey.” your voice came out unsure. You wished you could just put on a fake smile and pretend like everything was okay, but the guilt monster that had grown attached to you since you last saw each other wouldn't let you.

He shuffled into the booth across from you as a waitress came over with a pot of coffee. You eagerly held out your own mug for a top up while Frankie flipped over the cup in front of him. “A stack of blueberry pancakes and a side of bacon?” the young girl questioned Frankie as she poured coffee into his cup.

“Actually no, I already ate.” he replied shooting her a forced half smile.

“Very well.” the younger girl said. “Anything for yourself sweetie?” she turned to ask you.

“Umm, no thank you, the coffee's fine.” you said, raising the cup in your hand as you said it.

“Very well then.” the waitress said with an exaggerated smile.

“Thanks Candace.” Frankie said as she walked away.

“Candace? Blueberry pancakes and bacon?” you questioned Frankie once she was out of earshot.

“Yeah. I got in the habit of coming in after early NA meetings.” he told you, his fingers twisting the mug of coffee in his hands as he waited on your response.

“You look good Frankie.” you said, finally being able to find a smile for him. His eyes met yours, they were hopeful, soft. It made you wonder what had happened to him in South America that had him come out of the trip looking far less scathed than the others. You assumed it had something to do with coming back alive for his little girl, a reminder to live the best life he could with her.

“Thank you.” he said. “You look good too.” you could tell by the way he said it that he meant it, even if you didn't feel like it. “So what was it you wanted to talk about?”

Frankie had smiled fondly when your name had popped up on his phone asking him to meet you. After everything that had happened in South America he had been eager to contact you but he had a few things he needed to deal with first.

He had broken things off with Laura as soon as he'd gotten home. They had sat down and had a long conversation, Frankie coming clean about all of it. He expected her to be furious, to scream the house down, throw all of his stuff out onto the front lawn and tell him he couldn't see their daughter ever again; but she surprised him when she told him she had known he was in love with you all along. He moved into the spare bedroom while he looked for a place of his own and made an effort to regularly talk and work out the situation. He was so grateful when she told him he could see Lilah as often as he wanted and he ended up spending a lot of his free time at the house with her, not wanting to miss a single moment as she continued to grow.

“I know after the shit show that was Santiago's job you'll probably want to say no, but I need your help on a job. They other guys are already in, I just need my pilot, my mission partner.” you said trying to lay it on thick.

“I'm in.”

He had said it without hesitation. He'd do anything for you, even if it meant trekking across the Andes again. “Wait, you don't want me to tell you what the job is?”

“It doesn't matter. You need me, I'm all in.” he said leaning back into the booth. “Besides if you've gotten the other guys to agree...” he left the statement open as he brought his coffee cup up to his lips. A silence fell between the two of you. Now you had gotten out all you had to say, you didn't know how to proceed in conversation.

“How old is she now?” you found yourself asking. It was more torturing yourself actually.

“Just over 7 months.” he replied. He held up a finger to you, instructing you to wait as he reached into his pocket for his wallet. He pulled out a small photo of her that was tucked into one of the slots, handing it across the table to you.

You tried to keep your fingers steady as you looked at the picture. She was beautiful and definitely Frankie's kid. “She has your eyes.” you found yourself saying, softening at the image of the little girl who had changed everything.

You couldn't help but wonder, if things had been different, if you and Frankie had gotten together all those years ago. Would you have your own baby by now? Would they have inherited his eyes like this little girl in the picture had, or would they have gotten yours? Then you wondered, if you hadn't run away when Frankie had told you about her, would you have been able to stick around and love her? To be her second mom and raise her with Frankie and Laura.

You quickly handed the photo back, no longer able to look at it or deal with the thoughts that were now swimming around your head. “Yeah, I'm just grateful she didn't get my nose.” Frankie said as he slotted the photo back into his wallet with a fond smile.

“Is she crawling yet?” you asked.

“Oh that girl is such an over achiever.” he chuckled fondly. “She was trying to stand at 3 months, even though her little legs were no where near ready for that. You'd have to fight to get her to relax them to feed.” You couldn't help but smile at the image of Frankie trying to wrestle a fussy baby to sit in his arms properly so he could feed her.

The way he looked at you changed then, like he was sad you hadn't been there, like he had really wanted you to be there with him. He had. There had been so many late nights he'd spent up with his little girl in his arms, wishing you were there. Wishing that she had been yours. He was about to open his mouth and try to tell you everything he had wanted to say since being on that mountain, but you became distracted when your phone buzzed, the screen lighting up, telling you both you had a text message from Santiago.

You reached for the phone and Frankie's chest sagged, it felt like a hole had just opened up in his chest and was suddenly being filled with all his self doubt. 'He'd waited too long. You and Santiago were probably a thing now.' were the main two thoughts that began echoing through his head. “I'm really sorry, I've got to head off.” you said, rooting around in your bag for your purse so you could pay for your coffee.

“Oh okay.” Frankie said back, slightly defeated.

“Umm, I'll send you over all the information for the job.” you said quickly as you climbed out of the booth while trying to send a quick reply to Santiago to let him know you were on your way.

“Yeah of course.” Frankie said also getting up, to see you off properly.

His action caught you off-guard and you almost walked into his chest as you looked up from the phone in your hand. You both froze. You softened as you looked up into his eyes, then slowly let them wander down to his lips. You really wished you could lean forward and kiss him right now. You came to your senses, clearing your throat and taking a step backwards, blushing.

“It was great to see you Frankie.” you quickly said. “Oh and thank you for saying yes to the job.”

“Uh yeah, no problem.” he said, hooking his fingers into his pockets. He wanted to touch you, to hug you or something, anything, but the way you had stepped back from him, made him feel like he couldn't. You both stood there awkwardly for a moment, unsure of what to do next.

You felt your phone buzz in your hand. You looked down at it, another message from Santiago. “Umm, I've got to go.” your voice was barely above a whisper. Before you realised you had done it, you leant forward and placed a light kiss on Frankie's cheek. You felt the corner of his mouth turn upwards as he began to smile, but you couldn't bring yourself to look. You knew that if you did look, it would remind you of everything you missed out on with him. Instead you did the same thing as you did last time you were with him, you walked away and you didn't look back.

---------------------------------

@icanbeyourjedi @theshiningharmony @darnitdraco @kesskirata @wyn-dixie @rosiefridayrogersunday @actual-spawn-of-satan @clydesducktape @asta-lily @honey-hi @heythere-mel @heidi-toevs @wigofokoye @choricenter @goodgriefitsawildworld @lostgirlheather @d0uwannkn0w @justdrawings101 @nicotinebirds @bisexualolympus @babyratt19 @cookiecat22 @peterhollandkait @a-bang-for-your-bucky @asta-lily @codenamewife @lazyunknownwerewolf @emmy626 @natura1phenomenon @fanfics-that-hit-my-feels @fangirl-316 @thisisthewaytofiction @rosiefridayrogersunday-reads @aficwhore @slayerx147 @alberta-sunrise @itspdameronthings @nano-pax @bunnypascal @niki-xie @eowynshairflip @mamacitapascal​ @dobbyjen​ @t3rradactyl

[onechicago-upsteadrhekker]

breathe again (the air i would kill to breathe)--upstead one-shot

So, I wrote some more angst. You can blame @imjustwritingg and @anniesardors because we are now in an angst competition and this is my submission. I think I might win.

As strange as it might be, I actually had a lot of fun writing this. I also cried and have been deeply in my feels for the better part of the past few months as I wrote on this. I do have happier things in the works, but I don’t think I could ever not write angst so there is your warning I suppose.

Anyways, I hope you enjoy and I can’t wait to hear what you think!

Title is taken from Sara Bareilles’s Breathe Again. I like the Sleeping At Last cover!

Read on AO3

They are sitting in one of their new favorite places to decompress after a long day of working or just when they needed to have a good chat, partner to partner, friend to friend.

The bar was cozy, and it already held some of Jay’s favorite memories from past visits with Hailey—his birthday celebration with just the two of them, Hailey’s four-year anniversary of joining Intelligence, a place they went when they did not want to be interrupted by their other friends.

A place that was special to just them.

Jay could not help but think that she looked particularly beautiful tonight sitting across from him in the low-lit bar, the Christmas lights shining through the window highlighting her features.

She was not dressed fancy, in her usual winter outfit of a button-down and skinny jeans with her sturdy snow boots, but the way her eyes sparkled merrily as she laughed, her smile lighting up the room in a way he has not seen from her in far too long makes him marvel at how effortless her beauty truly was.

She is laughing at him with that big smile of hers as he jokingly brings up the reason why they came here tonight trying to mask the nerves he was feeling.

He listens to her tell him about her job offer with a sinking stomach, desperately trying to act calm and collected instead of revealing the panic that was currently raging inside of his chest.

He pays the check, his heart beating wildly with relief because she just told him she was staying.

He is looking at her now and they are talking about losing and gaining and he cannot figure out if they are talking about them or something else entirely. His gut says them, and he is waiting with bated breath for Hailey to say whatever he knows she wants to say but then she does not, and he is watching her walk out of the bar.

An hour ago, this was his favorite bar because of the memories with Hailey it held.

Now, he is pretty sure he will only remember this place as the one where he let the girl get away.

*

He notices the way she quickly glances at him before she accepts the small piece of paper that was being handed to her.

They had run by the courthouse to hurry along a warrant and now he is waiting on Hailey to catch up with him because she had been stopped by the judge.

He was new and around their age.

He was also nice, charming and good-looking and he was starting to rub Jay the wrong way.

Over the past several months when Intelligence needed a warrant it was somehow always signed by this guy. When he and Hailey needed to come to the courthouse for whatever reason, they always happened to bump into him.

Jay frowned when Hailey chuckled in response of whatever was called after her as she started to make her way back across the lobby towards him.

He gives her a look when she falls into step next to him and she glances at him, staying quiet until they are back in the truck on their way to the district.

Jay cannot stand it anymore. He adjusts his grip on the steering wheel, “So, what was that all about?”

Hailey glances at him again and it reminds him of the way she looked at him before she told him about her FBI offer not even a month ago.

“Uh, he gave me his number,” She was looking everywhere but him and Jay did his best to control his emotions.

It fell quiet again and Jay did not like the awkwardness that seemed to descend upon them.

It had never been awkward with her before, and he does not like the idea of it happening now.

He clears his throat, keeping his eyes on the road, “Did he ask you out?”

She gives a curt nod, still fidgeting entirely too much with the radio in her hands, “Yes.”

“What did you say?” He dreads the answer.

“I said yes,” It was barely a whisper and when he looks over at her, she is already looking at him, her eyes telling him she was tired of waiting on him to make a move.

He quickly looks away again, closing his eyes hard for a brief moment before whipping into the roll-up and swinging into his parking spot.

“He has me to answer to if he doesn’t treat you the way you deserve.”

Jay is out of the truck without a second glance, slamming his door shut and rapidly wiping away the tears that were gathering in his eyes.

*

Hailey starts to date the judge and by all rights, the guy is perfect.

He has a well-paying job, he is good looking and he has a great personality.

Jay tries to find faults in him, but he cannot. He wanted to hate him, but when Jay first met him, he had received a hearty handshake and a heartfelt thank you for watching Hailey’s back.

As much as he wanted to, he could not hate him. Apparently when Hailey had told her new boyfriend how close she was with her male partner, he was more than understanding of their relationship and would not be put out from the time they spent time together.

How could he hate someone who respected the time Hailey spent with him, another guy who already spent her whole workday with.

So, Jay decides to hate the way her name clashes with his. Mike and Hailey.  Hailey and Mike. They do not go together at all.

Not like his name fit with hers. Jay and Hailey—Detectives Halstead and Upton. Hailey and Jay—Detectives, partners, best friends; nothing more.

But then maybe he hates the way they fit even more because all it does is remind him of something they should have had but for some reason never did.

He thinks that they were meant to be together, but then he thinks that if it has not happened by now then maybe it was never meant to be.

*

“Hailey, are you sure you’re okay?”

Jay is standing, facing her with his arms crossed and a worried brow.

She sighs, “Yes, Jay, for the thousandth time, I am fine. It’s barely even a scratch.”

He lets out a disbelieving scoff and approaches the bed where she is sitting with her legs folded underneath her. She tries not to gasp when he gently touches the side of her face, turning it slightly to inspect the long gash running across her forehead and to the top of her ear.

“You’re not fine, Hailey. You could have died,” His voice cracks and he sounds like a desperate man, pleading and scared.

It is his tears that makes hers start to well up and she tentatively wraps her fingers around the wrist of the hand that was now borderline caressing her cheek.

She looks earnestly, desperately into his glossy green eyes, “But I didn’t because you saved me.”

He is standing very close to her, and she can feel his breath ghosting over her face as he looks down at her, his large hand holding the side of her face as they stare into each other’s eyes. She swears he glances down at her lips.

Her heart is beating erratically inside her chest, waiting for him to close the distance between them but then the curtain is thrown back and Jay moves faster than she thinks she has ever seen.

It is Mike and Hailey instantly feels bad at the way she is disappointed to see him. At the way she wishes he had not come, but he is her boyfriend, and he has every right to be there with her because she knows he loves her.

Mike’s hand is now where Jay’s was just seconds ago, and it does not feel nearly as comforting and good and right as Jay’s did, but she is not supposed to have those feelings anymore, so she tries to ignore them and leans into Mike.

“Oh my God, Hailey,” He breaths out in concern, “Are you all right? The nurse called me and told me you got hurt on the job.”

She tries to give him a convincing smile.

She is not all right but she cannot tell him that because it has nothing to do with gash on her head.

Hailey reaches out and touches his chest, “I’m fine. Jay was watching my back.”

Mike seems to realize that they are not alone and turns to face Jay, reaching out a sincere hand, “Thank you for protecting her.”

Jay shakes his head and takes Mike’s hand, trying to swallow the lump in his throat, “You don’t have to thank me. It’s my job.”

He glances at Hailey so quick that only she notices it and she gets what he is saying. He never wants the thanks because it is just a given for him. He will always protect her or die trying and nothing will ever change that.

He flashes a smile at Mike who is none the wiser of what he just told Hailey with his eyes and excuses himself, quickly slipping out of the sliding glass door as he lets the tears fall.

*

It is dark in the corner of Molly’s he had retreated to away from all the commotion that was happening around the bar.

He watches Hailey beam at her girlfriends who were trying to get a closer look at her displayed left hand, and he slinks back farther in his chair, picking at the label of his untouched beer.

He always had a hard time drinking without Hailey and she was busy right now.

Adam, Kevin and Voight are patting Mike on the back in a congratulatory manner and while Jay knows it is irrational, he feels somewhat betrayed by his closest friends.

He wishes that they were clapping him on the back in congratulations instead and that he was in the center of attention along with Hailey, but he forces himself to recognize that it is his fault that things are unfolding this way.

He’d had chances but he never thought Hailey would actually settle down with this man he despised for the sole reason that he was not him.

Jay fully recognized he was a fool for thinking he did not have to work for her. He knew he was a fool for thinking she would eventually break-up with Mike, and he would be waiting for her and then they would live happily ever after like some damn fairy tale romance.

He knew better than that.

Picking at the fraying label again, Jay sees Hailey flash around the diamond on her finger and he cannot help but think of the ring that he bought on a whim after seeing it in a local storefront.

He had randomly seen it one day and thought that if he were ever to propose to someone, he wanted it to be with that ring.

He had seen it and he had immediately thought of Hailey.

He does not know why he bought it, but he did, and he now knows that it will never be given to the person it was intended for.

The ring flashes and Jay thinks his ring would look better on her finger.

Hailey beams and Jay thinks her smile is not as bright as it used to be.

He takes a sip of his now lukewarm beer and Jay thinks he should probably get used to drinking without Hailey.

*

“Come in.”

He opens the door and cannot help but gasp.

She looks beautiful.

Her hair pinned out of her face, blonde curls cascading down her back, a veil clipped in place with a sparkling barrette. Her dress is elegant but simple and it fit Hailey perfectly.

She is standing in front of a tall full-length mirror, admiring her reflection when she turns to softly smile at him, “What’re you doing in here?”

He notices Kim crossing her arms and narrowing her eyes as she stands off to the side getting herself ready, “No boys allowed.”

He has to tear his gaze away from Hailey to glance at her, “Yeah, well, I had to come see my best friend before she became a married woman.”

Kim’s eyes soften and Hailey looks over at her, gently nodding towards the door, “Could you give us a few minutes?”

“Of course,” She gives them both a look like she knows they are about to close a chapter that they never got right before she disappears out the door.

Jay clears his throat, “You look absolutely stunning, Hailey.”

Her cheeks flush and she gives him a once over, picking up the skirt of her dress to approach him, stopping only a few inches in front of him. Reaching out, she quickly straightens his bowtie and takes a step back, cocking her head with an affectionate smile, “And you look very handsome.”

She meets his eyes, blue on green and he cannot help but just stare because after this, she is Mike’s forever and always and it would not be right to stare at her like he wants her.

Somehow, he does not think that her being married will stop him from wanting her, but he will try.

He is drinking her in like this is the last time he is seeing her and in a way it is. This is the last time where he can look at her with the hope of someday being more.

There are so many things left unsaid and he can see his own anguish reflecting back at him; hopes and promises and dreams swimming in her eyes, fading away with each passing second. A future that could have been theirs and will now only stay alive in quiet imaginings and forbidden dreams.

He could tell her. Right here and right now. That he loved her. That they could work. That he never wants to be without her, but it was her wedding day, and he could not do that to her.

He was too late, and it would not be fair for him to beg for her now when she had already given him every opportunity.

So, he accepted the gentle kiss she bestowed on his cheek, and he looked back into her watery eyes, heartbroken and sad.

They stared into each other’s eyes and a thousand memories of laughing and crying and comfortable silences and shared looks flooded in like a painful smile because he was the guest, and she was the bride.

*

The first time they rolled up to a crime scene after she and Mike tied the knot was one that would stay with him but not because the case they’d caught was gruesome or personal.

It was because of her.

She looked the same. She talked the same. She had that same bright smile and brilliant sparkle in her eye, but it was different now.

She was a married woman and the person that came back from her honeymoon was a slightly different person than he knew—a person he would never get to know because only her husband was privy to the person she was behind closed doors.

And he was not her husband and that crushed him almost to the point of not being able to function.

Jay never knew he could grieve so much for a person who was still by his side every day.

He tries to ignore the simple wedding band she wore now and thinks if he could just pretend she wasn’t married then their days would be no different. He could still have that intimate partnership with her and maybe he could imagine for a little while that they were just perpetually on the precipice of something more even though he knew nothing could ever happen now.

But then they were there, at the first crime scene where he was Jay, the single partner and she was Hailey, the married one.

Nodding at the patrol officer, he introduced himself, “Detective Halstead,” he then gestured to Hailey, “This is Detective Upton.”

She glanced at him, and he shook his head. Right, not Detective Upton.

“I mean Detective Martin.”

He curses himself and tries not to look too sick at the now constant reminder she was not and never will be his as he watched his newly married partner, Hailey Anne Martin walk off with the patrol officer.

He could not help but think his own last name sounded much better with hers than Mike’s did.

Jay forces himself to follow them with the sounds of Hailey Anne Halstead echoing in the back of his mind—taunting him, reminding him of the future he had just lost for good.

*

Almost a year later, when Hailey disappeared into Voight’s office looking a little unsure and maybe even a little sad, he was scared he was about to lose the only thing keeping them together now.

But when she announced her pregnancy a few weeks later, the subtle shifts in her behavior suddenly made sense, his heart dropping to his feet. He put on a smile for her, but it was hard when her smile held that same sadness and regret it had on her wedding day.

If the dreams haunting him for weeks after that were of little feet and giggling faces that had her features mixed in with his, well.

He would never admit it.

*

“Hi.”

She looks up, a dulled sparkle in her eye, “Hey.”

He nods to the bundle in her arms, afraid to get too close and see the baby that looks nothing like him and a lot like Mike, “What’s his name?”

She smiles, happy but there is still something in her expression that is achingly sad, “Meet Jay Robert Martin.”

He blinks. An odd lump forming in his throat, “Really?”

She chuckles a little at that and nods her head, “Yes, really.”

He blinks again, “Why?”

She shrugs, “Because you’ve saved my life more times than I can count and I—"

She hesitates. She was going to say it, he could see it in her eyes, but she settles for the phrase, “And because I care a lot about you” instead.

She named the baby after him. He is honored, but inside he is devastated because that could have been his son in her arms bearing his name.

Instead of being called daddy, he would be called Uncle much like the rest of the unit and if that did not break his heart more than it was already broken.

He is happy for her, truly, but he knows that some part of him is always going to see the life where he is Hailey’s husband and the father of her children.

And sometimes he cannot help but think Hailey sees that too.

*

She’s there.

Standing in the back, smiling at him and he wishes that she were standing next to him, but that was not her place, and it had not really ever been hers regardless of how much he wished it.

He shakes Voight’s hand and then turns to shake the Superintendent’s outstretched grip, graciously accepting the round of applause from the audience, blushing at his teammates hoots and hollers.

He walks off the stage and is vaguely aware of the congratulations and hearty slaps he was receiving. He responds with the proper amount of enthusiasm, but his eyes are always looking at her.

Excusing himself, he leaves the group, missing the way they all exchange a melancholy look of understanding. One they have exchanged many times before.

He approaches her and he notices the way her smile does not fully reach her eyes and he is always wondering if she also imagines a universe in which they are all there together and happy and one big family.

“Sergeant Jay Halstead,” She hums out, her smile growing into a warm smirk, “I have to admit, it has a nice ring to it.”

She is loving and affectionate and she is looking at him with all the feelings she is not supposed to have, and he can feel his throat closing up.

He forces out a quick grin, “Thanks.”

She is still looking at him, her eyes holding everything she cannot say aloud, and Jay tries to come up with something to say because he cannot take her looking at him like this. Not today. Not right now.

Not ever, really.

“I uh, I thought you weren’t going to make it,” He furrows his brows, “Didn’t Robby have a game tonight?”

Hailey shakes her head, her smile turning a little sadder, “I wasn’t about to miss my partner getting a promotion.”

She looks away for a brief second before looking back at him and Jay thinks he can see the glisten of tears in her eyes, “Although I guess you’re my Sergeant now, not my partner anymore.”

Tears sting his own eyes and his heart squeezes tight in his chest.

She is right.

They are not partners anymore. He just got a promotion; Intelligence is his and now he is her sergeant.

He should be excited but he’s not. He’s mourning the loss of the only thing that’s keeping them together now and it hurts so bad because he is losing her.

He is always losing her with each day that passes.

*

“She’s beautiful, Mike.”

The other man grins, “Yeah, we like her all right.”

Jay smiles but his heart is not in it.

Like always, he is touched that Hailey includes him in her big life events and like always, he is truly happy for her, but it also serves as a painful reminder of the life he wanted to have with her.

He is grateful to be in Hailey’s life at all and he would not give up the relationship they have now for anything, but he also thinks that it is some kind of cruel punishment that he is constantly forced to watch her love and grow a family with a man that is not him.

“And did you see those dimples?” Mike has a dreamy look on his face and his eyes shone proudly, “Perfect just like her mother’s.”

Yes, Jay thinks, perfect just like Hailey.

He clears his throat, tired of the way he always seems to tear up while he is with Hailey and her family because everything reminds him of the deep regrets he has been carrying around for years now.

“I like the name Annie,” He says trying to keep the conversation flowing so they do not lapse into an uncomfortable silence like they are prone to do.

He has never been close to Hailey’s husband and Jay knows this is because he is in love with the man’s wife. On some level, Jay thinks that Mike is aware of this and that is why neither of them have ever tried.

In any case, Jay does not think he could ever really be friends with anyone who is married to the girl he loves.

Mike shifts his weight to lean against the banister making the old porch creak slightly, “It was my great-grandmother’s name. We also liked it because it is similar to Hailey’s middle name.”

Jay nods absentmindedly and thinks about how lucky that little girl is to have Hailey as a mom. He always thought she would make a great mother regardless of who fathered the children, and he was right.

If he were to ever have children, he would only want Hailey as their mother and that is how he knows he will never have children.

“It means a lot to Hailey that you are here tonight,” Mike breaks the silence and Jay glances at him from his place sitting on their porch steps.

“I wouldn’t miss it,” He manages a sincere smile because he is telling the truth.

He would not miss welcoming Hailey’s daughter into the world even if it did hurt.

“She loves you, you know.”

Jay feels his heart stop in his chest and his mouth dry up, “What?” It came out garbled and he is looking at Mike like he just grew antlers.

Mike’s eyes meet his and Jay is shocked to see the depth of knowledge in the other man’s gaze.

He cannot help think that perhaps he was not as subtle as he thought he was regarding his feelings for Hailey.

“And I know you love her so I can’t imagine how hard this must be for you.”

He cannot come up with a proper response.

Or any type of response really because he is still gaping speechless at Mike who is now staring off into the night sky.

“We’re just partners,” The statement falls off his lips in a conditioned response.

It is the words he always used to describe his and Hailey’s relationship back when friends and family gave him knowing looks and teasing smiles. He has not had anyone question his feelings for Hailey in a long time and he feels slightly panicked that it is happening now and by her husband no less.

Mike shakes his head, scoffing lightly as he looks back into the night sky, “I don’t think you two were ever just partners. I’ve known that from the very beginning, but I liked Hailey and I wanted to be with her as long as she would stay with me.”

Jay blinks and he does not know what to say or how to react. He does not know where this is going, and he does not like not knowing.

“I know a part of her will always love you, but I love her enough to be with her on any terms even if that means not having her whole heart,” Mike sighs, pausing for a brief second, “I won’t lie and say that it doesn’t hurt at times, but I know how lucky I am that I even got her at all.”

Jay just stares at him, finally managing to get out a “Why?”

Why is he telling him this? Why now?

Mike seems to understand what he is asking, and he turns to face him, “She doesn’t say anything about it obviously, but I know it’s getting harder and harder for her to see you; to work with you every day.”

Jay definitely does not like where this is going.

Mike looks directly in his eyes and there is a hard edge there that he has never seen from the man before, “I know she has more than enough experience to make Sergeant, but she doesn’t want to take the test because she thinks you need her. You are holding her back, Jay, and I think it is time that you let her make a life for herself outside of Intelligence.”

All he can do is stare at the man. He wants to rail and shout and tell him that he cannot dictate what Hailey does with her life or tell him what to do but some part of him deep down knows that Mike is right.

Maybe it is time to let her go but it is so hard because he is not ready to give her up.

And it hurts too. God, it hurts so bad, and he thinks that it will always hurt because he knows what he and Hailey had was real and true, but their timing was just always off.

His heart is breaking because even though he is not with Hailey in the way he wants, she is still the best thing in his life and the thought of giving that up makes him physically sick.

He is aware of Mike moving towards the front door. He pauses and looks over his shoulder.

“Goodnight, Jay.”

He is left on the porch, and he can hear little giggles from inside the house. Hailey is laughing and there is a squeal of ‘daddy’, and he imagines Mike is swinging Robby up into the air.

It is too painful, and he thinks it will only get more painful as time goes by.

*

There are bright flashes and enthusiastic applause as he waits to shake her hand after the superintendent.

She turns to him. He is smiling at her but there are tears in his eyes. She is carrying herself proudly but there is anguish written all over her face.

They are both torn. He wants her to succeed in everything, but he does not want to lose her. She wants to advance her career, but she does not want to leave him.

They stood there, looking at each other, saying nothing. But it was the kind of nothing that meant everything.

The world spins obliviously around them as they become strangers who share long lost memories and quick smiles every once in a while.

*

It is a peaceful night out, the air humid and warm and it feels like the perfect summer night. The sun has almost disappeared over the horizon, a soft glow painting the trees and the houses along the street.

He is sitting alone on the porch steps listening to the chaos that is happening through the screen door and when he hears it swing open, he does not need to turn to see who it is because he already knows.

She sits down beside him, leaving a few feet of space in between them and does not say anything, just stares into the dusky night.

“I can’t believe Annie’s already thirteen.”

Jay glances at her before clasping his hands over his knees, nodding thoughtfully, “It seems like just yesterday she was born.”

Hailey scoffs, “Tell me about it. I don’t feel old enough to have two teenagers.”

He looks back over at her. She is still staring off into nothing in particular and Jay cannot help but notice once again just how beautiful she is. Her hair is still golden blonde, and her complexion looks as young as ever, the laugh lines around her eyes only making her seem more youthful.

“You certainly don’t look it,” It just slips out and he cannot help the way his stomach flutters when he sees her cheeks flush like they used to when he flirted with her in the truck over fifteen years ago before Hailey was a wife and a mother and nothing more than his friend and partner.

They fall silent again, each watching the night become dark as they listen to the happy teenage squeals that are coming from within the house.

“Do you regret it?” She says suddenly and he glances at her, her gaze still far away.

He sucks in a breath, “What?’

She shrugs, “I don’t know,” She shakes her head, “Everything?”

He is quiet for a long moment, and he does not have to ask to know what she means.

Hailey is about to tell him to just forget it, that it was a silly question but then he opens his mouth, and she shuts hers, the tears already starting to prick her eyes as the feelings that have never dulled over the years come to the surface.

“Just because things didn’t happen between us the way that we maybe wanted doesn’t mean that you aren’t the best thing that has ever happened to me. Because you were.”

It is the closest they have ever gotten to talking about this thing that has been between them from almost the very beginning and Hailey suddenly feels transported to a day in the past when she thought one of their moments was about to turn into something more and change her life forever.

But then she remembers she is married and has two children, and she cannot have a life with Jay.

She blinks, “Yeah,” She looks at him with glistening eyes, “You were for me too.”

*

The church is packed with people in uniform and Jay is once again awed at Hank Voight’s reach within the city. The damn mayor was even there.

He is serving as a pallbearer along with Kevin, Kim, Adam and of course, Hailey. It is fitting that they are the ones chosen to do this because they were the ones chosen by the man himself to be in his unit and they are the ones who lasted the longest.

Jay would wager a bet that they were all more like family to Voight than he would have ever admitted, and he thinks that they all know that deep in their hearts so that is why they are doing this—to give their sergeant one last send off.

To say thank you for bringing them together and creating this family that they never would have had if it had not been for him.

“Jay,” Kevin taps his upper arm to get his attention, nodding towards the double doors in the back of the church and that is when he sees her.

She is dressed nearly identical to him, give or take a few medals and even though he would not call the CPD uniform blues highly fashionable, Hailey wears it like she has just stepped off a magazine cover.

Her eyes find his and she gives him a sad little smile like she knows that this is yet another chapter of their past closing. With each ending, the memories and the laughter and the comfortable silences are drifting away and truly becoming a thing of the past.

In a way, it almost feels like a whole lifetime ago.

She is in front of him now and they say nothing because their eyes say all they need to know. Sighing, he glances down at the floor with a heaviness he has not felt in a long time before he looks up and draws her into a hug.

He does not remember the last time he hugged her. He thinks maybe it was after she had Annie, but he tries to refrain from any physical contact with her because he is always left with wanting more.

Today, he knows they both need it, so he gives in and squeezes her tight.

The Intelligence unit they know is slowly starting to die and it hurts more than words could say.

It might sound dramatic, but it almost feels like the end of an era.

*

Cork and Kerry had not changed much over the years.

It was somewhat of a comfort to see some things stayed the same, but mostly, it felt like his heart was in a vice because when he looked around, he was brought right back to the moment when Hailey was telling him about her FBI offer and he was watching her walk out the door and away from a life that should have been there’s.

He sees her sitting there, her jacket thrown over the back of her seat like it had been all those years ago and even though she is clearly much older, all he can see is her bright smile and sparkling blue eyes.

“Jay,” She says it softly and he cannot help but return the gentle smile she is giving him, “You made it.”

He sits down, “Like I would ever miss this. Besides, what else is there to do?”

She smirks, “Jay Halstead getting a little bored in his retirement and old age?”

Rolling his eyes, he gives her a knowing look, “You know I never could handle not being on the job without getting restless.”

“Jay,” She lets out a little laugh, “It’s been twelve years.”

“Exactly,” He stresses, and she just shakes her head.

“You seriously need a hobby or something other than sitting around with an itchy trigger finger,” She is teasing him but there is also a hint of concern in her voice, and he knows she worries that he is lonely.

He is lonely but it is his own fault because the only person he would want to spend any time with is her and even though they both grew old, they did not do it together, so he has no wife, and he has no children.

He offers a smile and tries not to look as sad as he feels, “I did clean out my attic recently,” He reaches inside his pocket and pulls out a well-worn photograph, “And actually, I found this. I thought you might want to see it.”

He slides it across the table, and she reaches for it. He watches as she studies the picture, a melancholy look coming over her face as she gently touches the picture, whispering almost to herself, “We were so young.”

It is a picture of the whole team after what he is pretty sure was a successful raid but what draws him to the picture is the way that Hailey is leaning on him. She has her head on his chest and the grins on their faces tell him that someone probably cracked a joke as the photo was being taken.

They look happy and if you look closely, one would almost believe that he and Hailey were an item at the time but he knows that they were not.

They were almost a lot of things, and he thinks almost is one of the saddest words in the English language.

He almost kissed her. She almost told him how she felt. They were almost together.

Almost but not quite.

He looks at the picture and he wants to pretend that they are still living in that moment because even if it was only for a heartbeat, everything was perfect.

Hailey lets out a little huff, a hint of wonder in her voice, “Look at us. So full of life.”

Jay lets out a little hum of acknowledgement and Hailey looks up at him, her eyes earnest and shining with memories of a life long ago.

“Those truly were the best years, weren’t they?” She says it so reverently and it makes a lump form in his throat because while they saw hard things and went through tough times, he would go back to that point in time in an instant.

Now when he knows how important people are and how precious time is. And even if you scream and argue and fight, family is everything and you should never take anything for granted.

Now when he knows love is worth fighting for even if you are scared.

God, if he could go back, he would fight for Hailey till his very last breath and never give up no matter the outcome.

“Yeah,” He clears his throat, “Yeah, they were.”

A corner of Hailey’s screws up in some kind of half-smile and he thinks she is trying not to cry.

She shakes her head, still lost in the picture, “I’ve done a lot in my life, but this—Intelligence,” She trails off, lost in thought and gives the picture one last swipe of her thumb before passing it back to Jay.

“We were a good team,” She smiles at him, and he can see all the memories playing in her eyes.

He nods, sliding the picture back into his wallet, “Me, you, Kev, Adam, Kim, Voight—We were the best,” He gives her a gentle smile, “You made us the best.”

Hailey cocks her head, a perplexed look on her face, “What do you mean?”

“Don’t get me wrong, Intelligence was always a good unit but,” He shakes his head, “I don’t think we really became a team until after you walked in that bank. You made all of us better which made the unit better.”

He pauses before softly admitting, “You made me better.”

There are tears in her eyes, but she does not say anything. He takes a deep breath, glancing away for a second before looking back at her.

“You ever think about timing?” He does not give her a chance to answer and powers through before he loses the nerve to be honest with his feelings for her, “Time, fate, whatever dictates how and when things fall into place. It’s all so very delicate and fragile—when you think that just one slight change or difference could have set your life on a completely different path.”

Jay fidgets with the beer label and looks up at her through his eyelashes, “Today, forty-seven years ago you walked into a bank, and you saved my life. Now we are sitting here having beers and you are my best friend. Have been for forty-seven years.”

He turns to look out of the window, deep in thought, “Do you ever wonder what would have happened if we met later or earlier or not at all?”

Do you ever wonder that we met before we were supposed too? Or maybe we didn’t meet early enough?

Were we ever supposed to meet?

Those are the questions he is really asking, but then he dismisses the last question that crossed his mind because he knows that they were always supposed to meet.

He is better because of her.

He is not married, and he does not have children, but his life was full nonetheless because of her, and he would not trade that for anything.

“Timing really is everything, isn’t it?” She speaks softly, and he knows what they are each really saying just like all those years ago in this same bar when they were talking in vague metaphors about gaining and losing.

They had the chemistry. They had the love. They had the whole damn universe, but the timing was always off.

They were a perfect fit, he and Hailey, there was just too much going on for them to see it until it was too late and then they were too afraid to do anything about it.

Hailey looks at him and he looks at her and it seems like they are looking at each other for the first time in years. And just like back then, there is so much love in their glance. And yet somehow the timing is still not right—she is still married, and he is not the kind of man to break up a marriage no matter how much he loves her.

And it seems that this is how it will always be for the two of them—like thunder and lightning—their timing would always be a little bit off.

*

He is sitting in the back alone. No one has noticed him which is fine because he does not want to talk.

He pulled out his old uniform for this and he feels strange wearing it after all this time, but it was the very least she deserved.

It does not seem real. She was always so strong, her voice always a phone call away and he did not want it to be real.

He watches as her family sniffles at the front of the church, each taking turns looking into the casket to say goodbye and he cannot bring himself to go up there. He does not want to see her laying there lifeless because in his mind, in his memory, Hailey was anything but and he does not want to mar those images.

Besides, Hailey’s family is up there and while he knows they love her, he cannot help but think of the family that should be up there.

The family that was forged through tough cases, long nights, emotionally charged moments, blood, sweat and tears.

Because that’s the family that really knew her. They knew what ticked her off, what rubbed her the wrong way and how to make her smile when she was tried and worn-thin.

He’d known.

They had seen her at her weakest, at her most fierce, and the way she fought like a bat out of hell when she needed to.

He’d seen.

But his place is not up there with her children and grandchildren and her husband. It is here in the back where he can remember the person she was to him, to her unit, to her community because he is the only person left that will ever really know.

He sits and he grieves for her, and he grieves for the life that he wanted. The life that they could have had had the universe not gotten in the way one too many times and had they not been so scared to take that leap.

He wants to go tell every young boy that loved a girl, yell it till he was blue in the face that it was never too complicated or too hard or the ‘wrong timing’. Not if the love was real. It was worth the fight, always.

Quietly, he slips from the shadows and slowly makes his way out to his truck. He is old, but all those years of keeping in shape paid off because he is pretty spry for an 85-year-old man. He could not run like he used to, but he is still sharp enough to recite every ordinance in the book and his vision is still 20-20 so he is able to live alone, and he can still drive himself to wherever he wants.

He hoists himself up in the truck he had bought after he retired. It is the same make and model of his favorite truck he had had during his partnership with Hailey, only a newer year, but it still smelt the same and looked the same and he almost did not get it because it reminded him of so many memories of them together.

Looking over to his right, he can almost see her now. Her eyes bright and her hair shining as she settles into her place, reaching for the radio to toggle through the channels as she laughs at something he said.

The memory is frozen in time, and he wants to always remember those moments when they were in the in between, waiting for something more to happen until it didn’t, and they were back to strictly being best friends.

But even after she started dating Mike and after she got married, they still had that special connection. The one where they could just look at the other and know that something was off; they could still exchange looks across the room and know what the other was thinking.

Just because she was not his did not mean they suddenly did not know every little thing about the other one.

Just because she was not his did not mean he loved her any less.

Jay blinks hard, still looking at the empty seat beside him.

Even through it is not the same truck and she has not sat beside him in years, he knows that seat will always be hers.

He turns the ignition on and carefully pulls out into the street in no particular direction, just driving and seeing all the memories that he has with Hailey in every part of Chicago play out like a movie of their best years.

He does not know why but he ends up driving to the 21st district. The roll-up is full of cars he does not recognize but his spot that he parked in every day for almost 20 years is empty, so he swings his truck into the space like he has done a thousand times before.

It is like he is not in control of his body as something forces him out of the truck and into the district. The codes are still the same and he ends up in the bullpen—it still houses Intelligence, but he does not know it’s current members as intimately as he knew his team.

They are all young and eager and smart and when he sees them it is like he is transported back in time when he, Hailey, Kim, Kevin and Adam were the rising stars of the CPD, and they were the unit everyone looked to when they needed answers.

Jay thinks they must be out running surveillance because the room is empty and there are mugshots of up and coming shot callers for the Latin Players, so they are clearly in the middle of working a case.

The room is still basically laid out like it was when he was in the unit. He can still see Kim grinning at Adam who is covering his head from the paper balls Hailey is throwing at him, Kevin standing off to the side shaking his head in amusement.

He can still hear the laughter and the arguments and the teasing. He can still smell the coffee in the air and feel the sunlight streaming through the windows like nothing had ever changed but it had because now he is the only one left who remembers that point in history.

Jay gravitates toward his desk, the one he sat at when he was just the other detective in the unit, the one that was right across from Hailey’s and when he sits down in the seat for the first time in years, he notices the single envelope sitting on the desk.

He is surprised to see his name scrawled across the front and tears prick his eyes because he immediately knows who it is from.

Even after all these years, he would recognize her handwriting anywhere. The slightly messy, looping scrawl he used to tease her for.

He does not know how this got here or how Hailey knew he would be here, but he should not be surprised because she always did know him better than he knew himself.

The way his hands are shaking has nothing to do with his old age as he opens the envelope and pulls out what appears to be a letter handwritten by Hailey. Unfolding the paper, he uses a hand to wipe away the tears that have already gathered there at just the sight of her familiar handwriting.

He begins to read, and he can hear her voice just as clear as if she were there reading it to him with a fond smile playing at her lips.

To my dearest Jay,

If you are reading this it means that I am no longer here. I have to say, I am impressed you managed to outlive me because for a while there I thought for sure you were going to die well before your time because you kept getting shot.

He cannot help but chuckle because of course, she would find a way to shove that back in his face one last time.

There is a lot I want to say. More than I could ever write in a letter because I don’t think I could ever fully articulate my thoughts and feelings. I never really had to do that with you anyway—you always just knew but I am not there to tell you so I guess I will just have to do my best here because I need you to know how much you mean to me.

I have so many regrets regarding us and I’m not saying this to make you feel bad. I want you to know that I truly loved my life and I lived it as fully as I could, but I need you to know how much I wish thing between us could have worked out differently.

Because I love you, Jay.

“Oh Hailey,” He choaks out, tears dripping onto the sheets of paper, “I love you too. So much, you have no idea.”

Not for the first time Jay is crushed by the fact he never managed to say those words out loud to her and it is even more heartbreaking that he will never get another chance to let her know how much she means to him.

He blinks rapidly and forces himself to keep reading.

There I finally said it after all these years… Or wrote it down anyways.

I love you and I have always loved you and I will always love you.

Don’t get me wrong, I love my husband and I love my children, but Jay—you were always the one for me. Always.

I love Mike but I don’t think I was ever in love with him. Not in the way I was with you.

I could never fall for Mike or anyone else for that matter because they were not you.

He knows what she means because that is the reason he has never settled down. There was really no one after he met Hailey and honestly, he had no interest because everyone paled in comparison to her.

It is not that he did not want to date, or that he was choosing not to out of spite or pettiness, he just knew that he would never love anyone like he loved Hailey and he did not think that was fair to someone.

He honestly did not want to love someone that was not Hailey, and he was okay with that.

I was never one to really believe in fate or destiny or the concept of soulmates, but Jay, I think you were mine.

You were always my best friend and then you were my soulmate.

I think I always knew you were it for me—I knew I wanted it to be you, but I don’t think I really realized how much it was supposed to be you until after it was too late. Until I was old and grey, and I had lived my life always feeling like something was missing.

I didn’t want to admit it to myself, but it was you. I always knew that even before I forced myself to move on because I thought we had missed our chance. God, what I wouldn’t give to go back and just wait for however long it took—even if we never ended up together because I missed you.

I missed you every time we drifted further apart, and I missed you when we were together—I missed you because I knew I could never have you in the way I needed.

And I’m not talking in a lustful sense—I wanted to tell you things and spend time with you and do all the things we used to do before Mike. I couldn’t share my secrets and my feelings and my thoughts with the one person I wanted because I had a husband waiting for me at home. A husband who was expecting me to tell him all the things I used to tell you.

I wanted you. The person that knew me better than I knew myself. The person that was there from what felt like the very beginning.

I needed you. The person who went through hell and back with me, who never let me go and who never ever let me down.

But timing is everything just like you said, and I really do believe we were right for each other. Once upon a time we were supposed to be together.

But it is a cruel world, and the reality is life changes before you can even blink and then suddenly everything that you had is no longer familiar to you.

I do believe you were supposed to be my last love, the person I was supposed to grow old with, but I sometimes think that maybe we met too soon or not soon enough, or something happened, and we messed everything up because we went against fate.

We were so perfect for each other but somehow, the universe always found a way to tear us apart—your dad, Adam, Kelton, you being shot, New York…my decisions.

It’s like when everything you could ever want is right in front of you but no matter what you do, you can’t catch it.

And like I said before, I loved the family I had but there was a part of me that was always imagining you cooking in a house we picked out and babies playing in the floor that looked a little like me and a little like you.

It’s pathetic really how much I still dreamt it would be me and you at the end.

And, I guess in a way, it is. Me and you, here in the bullpen where it all started.

The end of our story right where it began.

It wasn’t a story out of a fairy-tale. Not by a long shot—our story was full of tears and panic and heartbreak and crushed dreams and disappointment and regret and we certainly didn’t get our happily ever after, but it was beautiful too.

Sometimes I think it would have been without a doubt easier if I had never met you, but then I wouldn’t have known the warmth of your smile or the joy I felt when I heard you laugh.

I would have missed out on the trust and the joy and the love and my life would have held far less meaning than it did.

All of the times we spent drinking and crying and laughing. The memories, the thoughts, the feelings—I carried them all in my heart close and dear and I pulled them out from time to time when missing you got overwhelmingly too much.

Like now as I write this letter. Like always really.

I could write forever and never tell you all that is in my heart, but I just wanted you to know how much I loved and dreamt of you. How much I wished and regretted.

I don’t really know what happens now. I don’t know what life is after death which is funny seeing as how we looked it in the face every day over the course of several decades, but I was never scared of it. The only thing I was really scared of was losing you, so I guess I’m telling you to hurry up and join me wherever I am.

Now, don’t take this as permission to go get yourself shot. Take your time, but also not too much time, okay?

Kind of ironic I’m telling you it’s okay to die whenever after I spent so many years begging you not to, isn’t it?

But you always did say you’d follow me anywhere, so I guess I’m telling you it’s okay to follow me now.

I love you, Jay Halstead.

Your partner always,

Detective Hailey Anne Upton

Fresh teardrops cover days old, dried ones and it is not lost on him that she signed her name the way she was signing it when he met her.

He sees a flash of blue eyes and blonde ponytail striding into a bank. Her voice echoing in his mind, sharp and clear as she declares that she is Detective Upton from Robbery-Homicide.

Back when she was his.

Jay slowly places a kiss over the loopy handwriting before pocketing the letter reverently and pushing himself up from his desk.

He walks down the main stairs, ignoring the hustle and bustle of police officers moving about the district and he sees moment after moment of his partnership with Hailey play out with each step he takes.

Down the front steps, turning the corner, sitting on the bench that has been there ever since he could remember.

How many lunches from a local food truck has he shared with Hailey on this bench?

He sits there and he remembers. He remembers all of the ‘I’d follow you blind’s’ and ‘we’ll always be good’s’.

All the times he looked beside him to find her laughing or smiling or teasing. The times she let him in and showed him the deepest, darkest parts of herself. The times where she pushed him, and he pushed her.

Always behind or beside or in front, watching his six and keeping his head on straight when the load got too heavy.

Every raid and stakeout and bust. All the times she was his right-hand man, his sounding board when he did not know what to do.

She always had the answer.

He knows he would have never made it without Hailey, and he does not know how he will make it now.

He blinks, reaching into his pocket for the letter and he sits there until day turns into night staring at her handwriting leaping up at him.

He sits there and he misses her.

He sits there and he closes his eyes.

He sits there and he looks for her.

And then he sees it. Her youthful smile looking at him, welcoming him, loving him and he smiles back.

God, he missed her.

Of course, he missed her. She was his partner.

[intergalacticwanderer]

(Part one, part two. This fic is pretty much a mash up of this post about tiefling virtue names and this post about Molly’s tattoos, because apparently I couldn’t stop thinking about it even after making them. Some small references are made to the prior fics but all that’s really needed is that Kingsley recently got all of Molly’s memories and is dealing with that.)

The weather and the seas that day were remarkably calm - not that good for sailing, but good for tasks that required steadier footing or hands. And if the doldrums did stay longer than was welcome, Fjord and Jester both had some tricks to get them out of it, so, nothing to really worry about. There were plenty of things he could do on a day like today.

In that moment he was in Jester’s cabin, sitting on a cushion beside her bed, while she sat on the bed above him and carded her fingers through his hair.

“So what do you want to do this time? Something fancy? Ohh, maybe adventurous? Beau’s here, maybe we could try shaving it!”

Kingsley chuckled, relaxing back into the touch as she gathered up the hair. “Just the usual trim for now. We’ll see about the rest once that's done.”

“Hmm, if you say so,” Jester said, bringing out her small pair of shears and starting on the bottom of the hair while her tail idly brushed against his own. “I do think you’d look really cool with shaved sides though.”

He gave a little hum, letting his tail wrap around hers. “Probably. But trim first.”

“Okaaaaay,” Jester said, mock exasperated, but he could hear the smile in her voice. Soon enough she settled into her rhythm, pulling up individual sections of hair and the quiet snip of the shears the only sound for a moment.

The first time Jester had trimmed his hair had been, while not a disaster, not the best either. At the time however he’d been too aggravated by his long hair to really care, and soon enough it’d become a regular thing, Jester improving with the additional practice. In the grand scheme of things a haircut might not be a huge deal, but at the same time? That first haircut in Nicodranas had been one of the first times he’d really been able to really take control of his own appearance, feel comfortable in how he looked, and he was forever grateful to Jester for helping him continue that. Plus, it was a great way for them to have some time to gossip. Speaking of which...

“So I heard something from Beau the other day.”

“Ohhh? What kind of thing?” He felt her lean forward a little, tail coming free from his to swing back and forth.

“Well, one thing, she told me to ask about a story, but I'm not doing that part yet.”

“Aww! Why not?”

“Cause I don't want to get accidentally stabbed if I laugh at the wrong time.” As if to emphasize his point he felt the shears trimming some hair closer to his ear. “Besides, I can ask about it afterwards, something to look forward to.”

“But you could still do nowww,” Jester said, and even without seeing her face he could hear her pouting.

“It’s not you, it’s me,” he said dramatically and he was rewarded with a giggle.

“Okay, fine. What’s the other part?”

“She was talking about members of the Nein having different names, besides me?” He stretched out his arms in front of him and bowed his back a little before relaxing again, making sure not to move his head while he did it. “I know about Nott and Veth, and there were those sketchy assassin wizard people calling Caleb Bren when all that went down, but she also mentioned you? Said I should ask you about it.” He did his best to seem blasé but his tail betrayed him, curling and thrashing along the floor. He reached over and stilled it with his hand, hoping she hadn’t noticed.

“Oh!” Her voice was surprised, and the shears stopped for a moment. “Did she. Um. Say what it was?”

Kingsley almost shook his head but stopped himself in time. “Nah. Probably figured it wasn’t her place to share, and I’d agree. Won’t say I’m not curious but up to you.”

Understatement. Painful understatement. But he wasn’t going to force it either, no matter how much he wanted to know. It was less about the name itself and more just... the confirmation that she’d had a different name at some point. Something that could maybe help him feel a little less alone with the tangled mess of two names bouncing around in his head these past couple days.

The sound of the shears started back up again. “... Genevieve. But my name is Jester.”

“Never said it wasn’t dear,” Kingsley said, feeling himself relax. “What made you want to change it?”

There was another pause, longer than he expected. “... do you not know about virtue names? Wait, what am I saying?” He felt Jester shift on the bed and a few moments later she was climbing down onto the floor and sitting in front him, hands settling into her lap. “I forget sometimes that you don’t know about certain tiefling stuff.”

Kingsley blinked a few times at the sudden change in set up. “And?”

“So I guess it’s my job to teach you!”

“Am I still getting the rest of my haircut?” He held up a lock of untrimmed hair.

She swatted his arm. “Yes! But this is important enough that I want to talk to you about it face to face.”

Jester shifted to make herself comfortable then clapped her hands together in front of her. “So! What I know about this I learned from my mama, so I don't know everything but what I do know is preeetty cool. The easy version is that virtue names are naming yourself what you want to be!”

Kingsley raised an eyebrow. “That’s it?”

That earned him another swat on the arm. “There’s more to it than that, silly! Or...” She paused, then shrugged. “Actually, that is pretty much it, but that doesn’t mean it’s not important.”

“See, a virtue name isn’t just what you want to be, it’s thinking about who you are. What you want to strive for, what’s important to you, who you are as a person.” Jester placed a hand on her chest. “For me, Jester was something I thought sounded cool, and I liked that they made other people laugh. And, okay, maybe those reasons are a little simple, but it’s still me, and because it’s me it’s important.”

Kingsley thought over what she’d said. “I... take it Marion isn’t a virtue name?”

Jester shook her head. “Nope, my mama liked the name she had. But she still told me I could choose whatever name I wanted, you know? Even if she didn’t change it herself she wanted me to have that choice. And I did, and I’m happy being Jester.”

“Anyway, that’s tiefling virtue names!” She straightened, about to stand back up when she stopped, something seeming to occur to her. “Wait.” And then Jester pointed at him, face brightening. “Kingsley’s kind of like a virtue name!”

His current confused mess about names did a weird flip in his stomach. “Uh-?”

“You mentioned feeling kingly, and you even have your goal of maybe becoming the Plank King someday! That's so cool!” Jester grinned at him, hands clasped together, but a few moments later her smile fell away. “... Kingsley?”

Even with being addressed directly Kingsley glanced behind him (which, of course, was just the bed), wondering what suddenly had her looking so worried. Was something on his face?

“I’m fine,” he said, maybe a little too quickly. It was when he looked to the side that he caught the culprit - his godsdamned tail again. His hand snapped out, stilling it, but he knew that this time she'd definitely seen it. His heart hammered in his chest.

“Kingsley.” Her voice had softened. “What’s wrong?”

For a split second he considered lying, but the thought died quickly. Jester had already caught him, and... yeah, he didn't like lying to her. Not about important stuff at least. He took a deep breath and exhaled.

“I... I think the name talk might be wigging me out a little.” And he’d even been the one to bring it up in the first place.

“Do you want to talk about something else?”

Kingsley shook his head. “Nah, it’s just- Beau told me about the others changing their names, probably to try and make me feel better?” He ran a hand through his partially trimmed hair, while the thumb on his other hand worried at his nails. “And it helped but right now all I can think about is how I'm different. Caleb was a random alias that stuck, Veth was stuck in a different body, and you-” He gestured at her- “got a chance to really think about what you wanted. And all of you were still, well- you.”

Kingsley let out a sigh, hands dropping into his lap. “It’s... dumb but, I almost feel weirdly guilty about my name right now? I like it but I picked it when I didn’t remember and-”

“Kingsley no.” She reached forward and grabbed his hand with both of hers. “Don't ever feel guilty about that, okay?”

Kingsley jumped a little, surprised at her intensity. “I- okay?”

“You said you like your name, right?” Jester squeezed his hand.

A small pause. “Yes?”

“And you still believe in the reasons you picked your name?”

“...yyyes?”

“Then it's your name.” She held his gaze. “You can add to it if you want, but please don’t feel like you have to change it.” Her face softened again and she gave a small smile. “You’re allowed to like your name and who you are. That’s okay.” She patted the back of back of his hand. “And... maybe you can just think of it as your actual virtue name? If you want to. I was allowed to make that choice, and so can you. And you could totally just have two names if you wanted. It's up to you.”

It took several long moments for him just to process. “...Huh.” Thinking about the name Kingsley. Keeping it, but maybe now as a virtue name, a deliberate choice, showing who and what he wanted to be. Knowing he could still keep the other name too if he wanted. “Huh.” He nodded to himself. “Actually... yeah. I like that. I like that a lot. Thank you Jester.”

Jester finally grinned again, giving one more squeeze to his hand and a small nod in return. “Happy to help.”

She clambered back up to her spot on the bed, brushing his hair back to where it’d been before she’d climbed down. “Anything you want to talk about next?”

“I think I’d like to just relax for a bit, if that’s okay.”

“Sounds good to me!” Jester said.

Things settled into a comfortable sort of quiet, Jester humming a small tune and sounds of the ocean filtering in from the outside. That was one experience he'd never gotten to have before, at least, and it'd helped to serve as a good touchstone these past couple days. An easy dividing line for before and after. But in that moment, with the quiet intent work, someone else changing something on his body on his behalf, a new memory ran through his mind - or rather, new to him.

Sitting backwards on a chair, shirt off and resting his arms on the chair back, hair somehow even shorter than it was now. People talking around him, friendly, asking what he wanted and what he had in mind, before a prickling burning pain started on his right shoulder. The pain continuing down his arm, but there was a satisfaction to it, knowing that this scar, this tattoo was his own mark. Laying claim to a body that was unfamiliar and foreign, blotting out an eye that wouldn't stop staring and wouldn't go away.

That pain was distant now, separated not only by time but death and revival as well, but Kingsley still found himself looking down at the snake tattoo wrapping around his arm, the scales bordered and adorned by numerous scars. He hadn't paid much attention to it when he'd first woken up (outside of wondering about questionable decisions) or even really in the immediate time afterwards. Now it was almost like double vision looking at it - a tangible reminder of someone screaming to the world that he was alive, he was here, he existed.

He gave a quiet snort. A reminder of life, but it'd still stuck around when he was very much not alive and buried in the ground. Then again...

A few tufts of hair dropped onto his shoulder and Jester brushed them off for him, continuing to hum as she worked. Sure, he'd been dead and in the ground, but he wasn't anymore. And even when he hadn't remembered different things, the tattoos had still been there. Proof that Molly had existed.

Kingsley held up his right hand in front of him towards the light shining through the open door, examining the blank spot in the snake’s head, before flipping to his palm and looking at the blank spot there as well. He hadn't ever been bothered by those before - in fact, the sight had been a relief. But right now, those voids on his hand, scattered around other various body parts and tattoos... it was making him itch. It wasn’t complete.

“Hey Jester?” He continued to hold his hand in front of him, tail tapping on the floor.

“Hmmm?”

“You still practicing tattoos?”

Jester gave a little gasp. “Oh my gosh YES! I can-”

“Hair!” Kingsley yelled when he felt her start to move off the bed again. “Hair first!”

“Ack, okay, just-” There was a small scramble as she readjusted course, but soon enough she was back in place, Kingsley mercifully un-stabbed by flailing shears. “But you have to tell me what you’re thinking about!”

He laughed. “Okay, okay.”

His tail continued to tap on the floor as he thought, his left hand coming up to his chin. “So, we were just talking about names, right? And how Kingsley can be my virtue name, but I can still keep the other if I want?”

“Yeah?” Jester hadn't started cutting his hair again yet, too caught up in what he was saying.

He held his right hand up into her view, poking at the blank spot on its back. “I want to see if I can do something like that with these? If that makes sense? It sounded better in my head.”

A pause.

“... okay, I’m really sorry, I know you said hair first but I have to come back down there for this,” Jester said and she slid off the bed to plop down next to him, sketchbook somehow already in her hand. “Cause that idea is amazing and we gotta talk about it.”

Kingsley gave the most over the top sigh he could. “I guess I’m going to have half cut hair forever.”

“I know, I’m sorry, but I don’t want you to forget what you’re thinking about!”

He bumped his shoulder into hers, grinning. “Nah, I getcha. Just know it’ll be even longer until I ask about that story,” he said, winking.

This time, he was actually able to see Jester pouting at that.

“Fiiiine. Now tell me about the tattoos!!”

“Alright, alright, I'm getting there,” he said with another laugh, shifting his position to where it was more comfortable to talk.

“Okay, so, I know part of the reason these tattoos are here was to hide the red eyes.” He held up his right hand and wiggled his fingers. “It's great that they're gone but I kinda want to give them just one more f-you by filling them in with my own thing, make it look like it was supposed to be like that all along.”

“Oooo, I like it,” Jester said, starting to sketch out a replica of the snake on his hand and the associated blank spot. “Do you know what you want in there instead?”

“Hmm. Not really? The idea just popped into my head, so-” He gave a shrug. “We know there's nine of them at least.”

“Neeeeein!” Jester’s response was almost entirely out of habit, but a moment later her eyes widened, Kingsley broke out into a grin, and the two of the pointed at each other at the same time.

“Mighty Nein!” It was together but not at all in unison and the two of them dissolved into muffled laughter.

“That sounded terrible! I love it!”

“I knooow!” Jester said and she broke into further giggles. “But that could be it! Something with the Mighty Nein!”

“Picture this,” Kingsley said, gesturing dramatically with his palms facing down. “Instead of the eyes of nine we have... the eyes of NEEEIN!”

“YES!” Jester pumped her arms into the air. “It could even be in everyone’s eye colors! And little hidden designs inside if we want to get fancy!”

“Oh we always want to get fancy,” Kingsley said, showing off a fanged grin. “That settles it! Operation replace eyes of nine with the Mighty Nein is a go!”

“Awesome!!” Jester whipped her sketchbook up in front of her, poised to start drawing. “Let’s start with your Mighty Nein eye!”

Kingsley lifted his hand, ready to throw out ideas - and hesitated.

“... actually, the red might make things a little weird.”

Jester winced. “Ooooh, right. Maybe not.”

“But!” Kingsley said, perking up, “Yasha has two eye colors. So it’d still work either way. I’ll think about it.”

“Yeah!” Jester nodded, some of her enthusiasm returning. “And we can totally figure out some other stuff for now.” She wrote down a few notes in her sketchbook. “Do you know where you’d want people? Like, matching with tattoos, who’s near each other, that sort of thing?”

“I think I’ve got a couple in mind?” He tapped the back of his neck, where he knew the gap in the all seeing eye tattoo was. “Beau’s can go here. Can’t let her get the last word, after all,” he said, grinning, but there was something vulnerable to it.

The first time he had made the connection between Beau’s tattoo and the one on the back of his own neck his feelings had been... mixed. Weirdly flattered, but also feeling like a bit of a cheat, like he was taking credit for something he didn’t deserve. Now, though, he knew that there was no obligation to it. While they’d had their hiccups the Mighty Nein weren’t going to sacrifice him on the pyre of memory, and they loved him for who he was.

Him adding to the tattoo, wrapping it back around to being a tribute to Beau, assigning his own meaning away from hiding the somnovem? Kingsley rubbed the back of his neck, smile now softer. It would be his. Still building off of who he’d been before, that was still part of him, but now it could be his.

“That’s the only one I know for sure, right now. But I’ll keep thinking on the rest.”

Another nod. “Okay! Do you want to get the tattoos as you think of them? Or all at once? And do you want to tell anyone else about it before you do it?”

“All at once, works better to make sure they fit. Plus I don’t want to get accused of playing favorites,” he said with another grin. “As for the other... hmm. Input is nice, but I do like surprising people. I’d say that’s another think about it.”

“Got it!” Jester said, and he saw her starting to sketch the all seeing eye tattoo beside the snake head. “This is going to be amazing.”

“Of course it will, you’re involved.”

Jester ducked down behind the sketchbook a little but she was smiling as well. “If you say sooo.”

“I do. And Jester?”

“Yeah?”

“Thanks.” He didn’t specify for what this time, but he figured it’d get through. There was still a lot he needed to figure out but now at least he had some new touchstones, the promise of even more in the future, and good company right in that moment. It was more than enough for him to be thankful for.

It did, however, seem like it was going to be awhile until he finished that haircut. But in the mean time...

“... okay, I’m too curious, Beau said I had to ask you about really early Xhorhas disguises?” Kingsley said and he saw Jester's face absolutely light up.

A few minutes later, over in his own cabin, Fjord swore and almost dropped something on his foot at Kingsley’s sudden loud cackling, and he just sighed and shook his head.

(Part Four)

[helnjk]

Hold On - H.G.

Hermione Granger x fem!reader

Requested: yes

could you do a hermionexreader with the prompts “who hurt you?” and “im not going away any time soon”? thank you!! <33

Word Count: 855 (more of a blurb than a full fic)

Summary: the war has ended, really and truly. hermione is relieved beyond belief, but that relief is short lived. 

Warnings: angst (with a happy ending, i promise!), very brief mentions of death (minor character), injury 

A/N: this is technically the pt. 2 of my other fic ‘let go’ but you can read it as a stand-alone fic too!! (also i can never write fred doing the Big Sleep so he’s alive lmao) x

prompts are in bold

–

The relief that filled Hermione was almost too much. 

When the Dark Lord’s body fell to the ground on a heap and Harry had won, suddenly she could breathe easy again. The weight on her shoulders no longer felt too heavy, the pit in her stomach no longer as prominent. 

Despite the scene in front of her, the wrecked towers of the castle and the dying embers of fire that spread across the grounds, Hermione felt intense waves of relief flooding through her. It was over, really and truly. 

Still, there was much to do. 

As she and the rest of the survivors shuffled through the grounds and filed into the Great Hall, a more sobering thought caught up to her. A dull ache in her heart spread throughout her body as she realized just how many casualties there were. What once was a place of happy conversations and full bellies was now filled with so much grief.

Hermione’s eyes scanned the room, hoping and praying not to find a certain body laid among the rows and rows of the injured and those who had passed. She wasn’t so lucky. 

She felt her heart leap into her throat as she noticed your body lying right next to where the Weasleys had settled themselves. They, at least, seemed to be relatively alright, save for the cuts and bruises they sported. George was sat on the floor next to you, but he was gripping onto Fred’s limp hand.

All the breath in her body escaped her as she nearly sprinted in your direction. The redhead’s eyes met hers and while he was battered and bruised, his irises held no sign that either of the bodies around him were fatally injured.

“They’re alright,” He muttered softly as she reached him. Those simple words were just enough to keep her head above the water, and she smiled tentatively.

Hermione took her place next to him on the floor, leaning against him slightly. He took the opportunity to wrap his free arm around her shoulders as she reached for your hand. 

Still warm, she thought, sighing in relief. With a soft squeeze, she settled into her position, taking vigil as you lay in your unconscious position. 

“Oh love, who hurt you?” She whispered, rubbing her thumb in circles against your hand. It was a question plaguing her mind as she sat with you, thinking of the ways she could have prevented this from happening. 

She hadn’t thought anyone heard, which was why she was surprised when Molly had come forward to give an answer, “Bellatrix.” 

Her grip on your hand had tightened, but she let the older witch continue, “She was sending some sort of curse to Ginny, but Y/N blocked it. It got my blood boiling to see that absolute nightmare of a woman hurt her and attempt to hurt Ginny, so I stepped in.” 

Hermione gave a slight nod, grateful for Molly’s defense of the person she loved most in the world. 

“Thank you for taking care of her, Molly,” She whispered, “I know it must’ve been… hard on her while I was away.” 

“Nonsense,” The Weasley matriarch tutted, placing a gentle hand on Hermione’s shoulder, “She knew what you had to do and didn’t hold anything against you. You’re here now, that’s what matters.” 

–

The waiting had been the worst part of it, Hermione thought. She was the type of person to thrive on knowledge and planning, so in the face of the unknown she faltered. For what seemed like hours on end, she held your hand, willing your eyes to open and color to come back to your skin. 

Your first thought as you gained consciousness was ouch. Everything seemed to ache. You heard a gasp somewhere near you as you opened your eyes, but everything was still slightly foggy. 

The first thing your eyes landed on was the familiar bushy hair of your girlfriend, and you thought you had really and truly died. This couldn’t really be Hermione, you knew she had left you in order to go on the run with Harry and Ron, why would she be sitting in front of you right now?

But, as your eyes began to focus more and take in where you were, your heart began to pick up its pace. 

“Hermione?” You croaked out, trying to sit up but groaning as your body fought against your wishes. 

“I’m here, I’m here,” She soothed, running her hand through your hair and helping you get up into a sitting position. 

As you took in the scene around you, your heart began to race, “What happened? Is it over?” 

You were met with one of Hermione’s most dazzling smiles. Nevermind the tiredness in her eyes or the dirt and grime of her clothes, she was absolutely stunning to you. The telltale prick of tears in your eyes came quick as a flash, and the two of you shared a watery hug.

“Oh Hermione,” You nearly sobbed into her shoulder, “I’m so glad you’re alright, and that you’re here.” 

You felt her nod against you, “I’m not going away anytime soon.” 

[iliveiloveiwrite]

Love... and a soft place to land.

Request: Hey! can I request a Harry x reader where the reader finds out she's pregnant and going through the pregnancy with Harry? It can even be when they're still at Hogwarts if you want!

A/N: Thank you for the request!! I’ve written this post!Hogwarts as I don’t feel comfortable writing teen pregnancy (I hope you understand!) but nevertheless I hope you enjoy! The title is a quote from A Discovery of Witches, I use the full quote in the fic and I have put that in bold so you’re all aware. There’s loads of cute moments in this; I wrote it in one sitting and made myself cry at one point.

Pairing: Harry Potter x Fem!Reader

Warnings: pregnancy, odd cravings, she/her pronouns, FLUFF - ALL THE FLUFF.

Word count: 2.3k

The two lines staring back you confirmed your suspicions.

The nausea being the main symptom that had you counting back the days to your last cycle. Realising the lateness had you leaving Harry in bed while your rushed to a muggle chemist, buying three tests. The chemist gave you soft smile as she rang them up, asking whether you’d be paying by cash or card. You tried to return the smile, but knew it was a watery one.

It wasn’t as if you and Harry were actively trying to avoid pregnancy, you just hoped you’d have a little more time to have him to yourself before sharing him with a son or daughter.

Rushing home, you find Harry still in bed, snoring away and utterly oblivious to the world.

You shut the door to the bathroom quietly in the hopes of not waking your husband. You’d have woken him sooner, but the idea of getting his hopes up for something he had wanted since he slid the golden ring onto your finger, only spurred you on to make sure you were pregnant.

Your heart soared and your stomach dropped as the two lines appeared on each test.

A knock on the bathroom door has you dropping the test still held in your hands.

“Love, you’ve been in there a while, is everything okay?”

You clear your throat, swallowing around the lump there, “I’m fine, love. I didn’t wake you did I?”

Harry chuckles, “No, I woke up when I rolled onto an empty side of bed. Are you sure you’re okay?”

You pick up the dropped test, placing it next to the others. Unlocking the door, you say, “You better come in.”

Harry wastes no time entering the bathroom. He scans the room quickly, checking for whatever the problem could be.

He does a double take at the sight of the pregnancy tests laid next to the sink.

His eyes do a circuit; the pregnancy tests, your face, then dropping to your stomach.

His eyes do this three times before he whispers, “Are you pregnant?”

You grin, handing him one of the tests, “It seems I am.”

“You’re really pregnant?” He asks again; disbelief lacing his voice.

“Yes Harry. I’m pregnant – you’re going to be a father.”

“How far along are you?”

“I’m not sure, I need to make an appointment with a Healer to make sure.”

Harry nods; the smile never leaving his face. He drops the test into the sink; his arms circling around you. “You make me unbelievably happy; you know that?”

You laugh, letting some tears fall. Harry kisses them away, “I think you’ve made me the happiest man in the world. I thought nothing could rival what I felt when I saw you walking down the aisle to marry me, but this. This is something else.”

“Harry Potter, you are a sap.”

He kisses you; long and languid – his happiness pouring into it. He pulls away; the both of you breathless. He drops to his knees before you, pressing kiss after kiss to your stomach. The sight of it has you crying again. Harry stands back up, pecking your lips once more before rushing out of the bathroom, “I’m going to make you an appointment at St. Mungo’s, I’ll be right back.”

You laugh to yourself; your hand dropping to curl around your lower abdomen where in nine months, a bump will be sitting.

You grin as you hear Harry’s excited chatter on the phone; ever grateful that St. Mungo’s installed phones a few years ago to make the booking of appointments easier.

You pass by him on your way to the kitchen to begin breakfast. Your hand runs across his shoulder, and the smile he gives you in reply is breathtaking.

Your earlier worry about this being too early in your marriage has now dissipated.

Now, you couldn’t wait to begin this journey.

--------------

Two months after you tell Harry your news and the elation has worn off, the panic begins to set in. You work through it logically; borrowing book after book from your local library, setting up appointments at St. Mungo’s with the help of Draco who offered as much advice as he could give – he’d had his son almost a year ago now; he was happy to help in any way he could.

Harry took it in his stride; coming to every appointment, following the progress of his unborn son or daughter. From the moment you told him, his heart had stretched wider to be able to fit the love he already felt for his unborn child. Harry thought it would burst the moment he heard his child’s heartbeat on the ultrasound. However, he couldn’t help but feel panicked. This baby was going to be loved, there was no doubt about it – it would have enough aunts, uncles, and cousins to never be bored and Harry already adored the baby with his whole being.

But he couldn’t ignore the nagging doubt stemming from the little voice in the back of his head. The voice had him doubting his abilities to be a father; after all, his own had died when he was fifteen months old and then Sirius was ripped from him at the Department of Mysteries – he had never gotten to truly know his godfather who was supposed to guide him through life in the absence of his own father. Every chance to have a father figure was ripped away by death, and it led Harry to question his abilities and his readiness.

--------------

It comes to ahead on blustery night in March, four months into your pregnancy. Harry lays beside you in bed; propping himself up on his elbow as he watches you eat your latest craving – cheese and onion crisps with a bar of Cadbury’s chocolate. His nose crinkles as he continues to watch you eat, but he’d make sure it was always available at a moment’s notice.

The room is quiet save for the rustling of the crisp packet. Harry runs a hand over his face; he hadn’t been sleeping well these past few night – his doubts keeping him awake until the early hours of the morning.

It’s hard to miss the panic settling in his blue eyes. You run a hand through his hair, asking, “What is it? What’s wrong?”

Harry blinks away the tears forming, whispering, “What if I’m not a good father? I’ve never had a father figure to guide me.”

Your hand falls from his hair to his chin, where you grasp it, keeping his eyes on you. “You’re going to be a wonderful father, I know it in my bones,” You hum, “All children need is love, a grown-up to take responsibility for them, and a soft place to land. I know for a fact you can offer all three.”

He buries his face in your stomach, where a small bump has started to form, “I can’t be sure though,” he mumbles.

“Well, I’ll be sure enough for the both of us.”

“I don’t know what I did to deserve you.”

“If I remember correctly, you tripped me up in the corridor. Sent me flying into a statue.”

Harry snorts, thinking of the memory, “It was love at first sight.”

“More like I wanted to throttle you.”

“But you soon fell for my charms,” He flirts.

“How could I not? You were so apologetic, and you carried my books for the rest of the day – meeting me outside my classrooms. I’d fallen in love with you by the end of the day.”

“I could tell. I felt like the king of the world.”

“I bet,” You chuckle, “I knew Ron took the mick though didn’t he?”

“Of course, but I shut him up when I told him to make a move on ‘Mione.”

You laugh again; lapsing back into silence as you both return to thinking of the same memory.

“Are you feeling any better?” You murmur after the bout of silence, referring to his earlier panic.

He nods, shifting his position from laying on his side to sitting up against the headboard next to you. “We have each other through this.”

You take is hand, tangling your fingers together. “We have each other through this.”

------------

Arthur Weasley is the one who takes Harry aside on a random Sunday in June.

At this point, you’re seven months along in your pregnancy and your son is making every effort to squeeze your bladder to the point it bursts. Harry isn’t ashamed to admit that he shed a few tears when told he was going to have a boy; it meant that he could take the reins his father and Sirius had left behind.

As you’re waddling to the bathroom at the Burrow, you overhear the conversation between Harry and Arthur.

“How are you feeling, Harry? How is (Y/N)?” Arthur asks. From your spot on the stairs, you can see through the railing that Arthur has his hand on Harry’s shoulder and a caring expression on his face.

“(Y/N) is great; taking it all gracefully.”

“And you?”

Harry sighs, “I don’t know how I feel. The closer we get to the due date, the more nervous I become.”

Arthur chuckles lightly, “I felt the same way with Bill… I felt the same with all of them.”

“Does it ever go away?”

Arthur shakes his head at your husband, “No, it doesn’t. You find new things to be worried about. But Harry, I’m here to help you. I know I’m not your father or your godfather, but I’ll help you in any way I can.”

Harry pulls Arthur into a long hug; surprising the patriarch of the Weasley family. When Harry pulls away, you can see the tell-tale signs of tears.

Harry sniffles, “You’re as good as, Mr. Weasley.”

Arthur sniffles too, “You’ve become a great man, Harry. You’re going to be a great father too. Molly is beside herself with excitement to meet the little one.”

You wipe the tears running down your own face, taking the final few steps to the bathroom where you blow your nose on some tissue.

Harry was going to be just fine.

-------------

The labour is long and intense, and for a while, there’s the worry that you’ll need to have an emergency c-section. Harry is by your side through it all; he wouldn’t want to be anywhere else. He wipes your forehead with a cool cloth after each contraction; he holds your through each push – bones be damned if they break.

With a loud cry, your son enters the world just after midnight on a quiet night in August.

There are no words to accurately describe the feelings that coursed through his body when the midwife asked him to cut the cord. It was the first look at his son, and then and there, Harry made a silent vow to never let his son question his talents and abilities whatever they may be.

Wrapped in a pale blue blanket, he’s placed onto your chest with a cry. Immediately, the tears begin to fall down Harry’s face. Nine long months and his son has arrived; and you, you took it all so gracefully, sniffling slightly as you welcomed him into the world.

You hand Harry his son; being careful to make sure that the head is stable before letting yourself relax slightly into the hospital bed. The midwife hands you a cup of tea and a slice of toast, and you thank her gratefully for all that she has done for your new family. She pats you on the head before leaving, letting the new family have time to themselves.

You watch Harry with a tender expression on your face. He had been so worried for so long, but as you watch him walk his son around the room, murmuring to him absentmindedly, you know that he’s going to make a wonderful father. You never had any doubt about it.

-------------

A few hours later, there’s a small knock on the door and Hermione’s voice rings out, “Harry, (Y/N), it’s us. Do you mind if we come in?”

You nod at Harry, adjusting the babe at your chest. He opens to the door, being pulled into a hug immediately by Ron. Hermione enters the room with a bouquet of pale pink roses; your favourites. She sits the vase down on the other side of the room so as to not disturb the baby too much with the new smell.

Hermione tiptoes over to you, “I’m sorry we didn’t send an owl.”

You shake your head, “I wouldn’t want you stay away anyway.”

Tears line her eyes as Ron and Harry join you at your bedside. Your son gurgles, shifting in your arms, aware of the visitors here to see him. Hermione holds a hand to her mouth, eyes flickering to Harry, “He’s got your eyes, Harry.”

Harry nods, “I know. But he has his mother’s hair, and her mouth and nose.”

You hush your husband, “He’ll be the carbon copy of you, I know it.”

Silence falls in the room as the four adults continue to watch the new life slumber in his mother’s arms. He shuffles for a minute, finding a comfier position before settling back into his dreams.

You shift your gaze to Hermione, silent tears falling down her face. “Would you like to hold your godson?”

“Godson?” She whisper-asks, “Me?”

Harry places a hand on your shoulder, squeezing, “We want you and Ron to be godparents.”

Ron sniffles, reaching a hand up to wipe at his eyes. “Harry, mate, we’d be honoured.”

At those words, you hand your new-born son to his godmother who holds him like a pro. She dips her head down to sniff at his head; smiling at the new-born smell.

Hermione lets her tears continue to fall as she stares down at her new godson in awe. Ron’s arm is tight around her waist as he asks, “What name did you decide on?”

Harry’s voice breaks as he replies, “James Sirius Arthur Potter.”

*******

General (HP) taglist: @chaotic-fae-queen @obsessedwithrandomthings @harrypotter289 @dreamer821 @kalimagik @heloisedaphnebrightmore @nebulablakemurphy @the-hufflefluffwriter @figlia--della--luna @bforbroadway @idont-knowrn @summer-writes @big-galaxy-chaos @black-lake-confessions @annasofiaearlobe​ @imboredandneedalife​ @levylovegood​ @mytreec​ @haphazardhufflepuff​ @teheharrypotter​ @chaoticgirl04​