#and when i hung up i realized that less than a year ago i was debating starting T and even had gotten the referral from my doctor

[deepwoundsandfadedscars]

I'm not a poetic person so why the fuck does my grief want to manifest as poetry when i don't even know how to write poetry

[youvebeenlivingfictional]

reunion

Pairing: Art Donaldson x Reader

Rating: Explicit - 18+ only. minors, please get off my lawn.

Notes: Not beta-read because when is it ever.

Length: 4.5K

Warnings: Slow burn; unrequited love; angst; yearning; divorced Art Donaldson; oral sex (female receiving); vaginal sex; safe sex

Summary: It wasn't that Art Donaldson was the one that got away. It was more like Art Donaldson was the one that never really knew you existed.

"Did you hear Art Donaldson is supposed to be here?"

The question is whispered behind you and makes your hand freeze in its signing. You're half-bent over the table at reception, fingers tight around a pen as your mind is jogged.

No way was he turning up, that's what Anne had said.

Tashi will be there, she's the head of the goddamn reunion committee, the ink is still wet on their divorce—that's what Anne had said. Hell, she'd sworn it.

So what the hell is he doing here?

The sound of your name jogs your attention and you manage to finish signing in. You straighten, taking up your name tag and haphazardly slapping the adhesive onto your top. You need a drink, and quickly. You're halfway to the bar before you feel someone wind their arm through yours.

"Okay, I know you didn't wanna come—"

"Anne."

"And I so appreciate you being here so that I didn't have to come alone—"

"Anne—"

"But I got some news and it's going to be a little shocking so I think you should hear it from me—"

"I know he's here."

"What?" Anne freezes, her arm dropping from yours. You turn to see her looking stricken, her cheeks pinking with panic and embarrassment. You sigh softly, glancing around your fellow alumni. Less than half of them look familiar; your eyes catch on the odd face before you realize that you're inadvertently looking for him.

"Look, there are, like...Five hundred people here, alright?" You add. "I probably won't even see him."

"We can go."

"Look, we made the trip, we're here, we may as well stay. It's fine, okay? We're all adults here! It doesn't matter!" Your insistence is chased by a slightly hysterical laugh. "It was, like, a hundred years ago."

"...You're sure?"

"I am positive."

Positive that you need a drink, and positive that you're going to regret agreeing to stay.

--

It wasn't that Art Donaldson was the one that got away. It was more like Art Donaldson was the one that never really knew you existed.

You were friends, sure. You palled around, had a few classes together, hung out at a few parties—but he was so in love with Tashi Duncan that you'd never made his romantic radar. You'd forced yourself to believe that that was for the best, that you didn't need his love or romantic validation to be happy. But you couldn't pretend that wanting him didn't sting.

He'd had a couple of girlfriends while you were at Stanford, but you could always feel, always see that they were never really his priority. It was Tashi, then tennis, then them.

The two of you had kept touch a little after college, but you'd pushed yourself to move on. Conversation had begun to fade, and when he hadn't tried to keep it up, you had resolved to let him go.

You'd avoided his name in the news as much as you can, but it had been hard. He was on billboards, packaging, tv—it was like you couldn't escape him.

Want melted to sadness; sadness shifted to annoyance; annoyance hardened into disdain. You couldn't see his likeness or hear his name without rolling your eyes. It wasn't his fault, of course, but the prospect of running into Art fuckin' Donaldson made you queasy.

Still, you put on a brave face for Anne, forcing your focus into conversation.

It's a struggle to keep your gaze from seeking him out. You take each sip with a little white lie, convincing yourself that you're looking to make sure you can avoid contact. You spot Tashi a couple of times, but you don't go out of your way to say hello. She's surrounded by a cloud of people—taking pictures, signing programs and name tags and old Duncanator shirts.

When Anne insists on going to say hello, you force a small smile.

"You, um—you go ahead," You nod, taking a couple of steps back. "I'm gonna get some air."

Anne's dark eyes flit over you questioningly before she blessedly lets it go, nodding and going on her way. You turn, swiping a fresh drink off of a passing waiter's tray as you leave.

It takes a few moments for the buzz of conversation to clear from your head. You take a gulp of the prosecco, wrinkling your nose. It's a little sweeter than you usually like, and doesn't mingle well with the three other drinks that you've downed. Tashi's not going to find your lack of presence or greeting conspicuous; you'd been cordial and on speaking terms in college, but the two of you had never been close.

Damn, but it's chillier outside than you thought it would be. The reception had been so warm, so crammed with people. Paired your head being near-permanently on a swivel, you hadn't realize how hot and tense you'd been.

You frown at the waft of cigarette smoke that catches your nose. Who the hell is still smoking in this day and age—

"Are you hiding, too?"

Maybe you can feign that you didn't hear him—that the sound of his voice didn't jog a hundred memories and trigger a flurry of butterflies. But before you can stop yourself, you turn, the words, "I thought you quit smoking," tumbling out of your mouth.

Art's smile widens as he draw the cigarette back from his lips, a stream of smoke pushed out of the side of his mouth.

"I did. Quit quitting, though." He takes one more puff before he flicks it away, drifting closer. "Hi."

Hi, like it's not the first time you've seen him in the better part of a decade. Hi, like neither of you are oceans from where you where when you last saw one another.

"Hi," You manage. He doesn't hesitate to draw you into his arms; he seems to almost do it without thinking. You only allow yourself a moment of resistance before you raise and curl your arms around him. The clean scent of his pressed jacket and woodsy cologne are muddled with smoke. The fingers of one if your hands curls covetously in the fabric of his jacket as his palms smooth gently over your back. You hear him draw in a deep breath, feel him hold it, and then release it with a soft hum.

"How the hell are you?"

Probably better than you are these days.

You shrug a little, mumbling, "Fine."

He draws away, eyes skating across your face.

"You don't sound so sure about that."

"I'm sure."

"Yeah?"

"Mhm."

You can feel him winding up for another pass at it, but you hold your glass out before he can. His fingers brush against yours as he drains it.

"Why are you hiding?" You ask. He shrugs, nods toward the door.

"It's a lot in there. I forgot what these events are like."

"People wanna congratulate you. They're proud."

"Are you?"

"I am, but I'll hold off. Don't wanna crowd you."

Your attention is drawn from Art's smile as you hear someone clearing their throat over the speaker system inside:

"If we could have the reunion chairpersons to the stage, please!"

You glance toward Art and find him fidgeting, his thumb smoothing across his bare ring finger.

"…Do you wanna go back in?" You offer. He considers before he says, "Wait here."

You watch curiously as he darts inside, and are stunned when he reappears a moment later. You just barely catch a glimpse of the bottle of champagne clenched in his fist before he rests his other hand on your lower back, steering you away with an urgent murmur of, "C'mon."

--

"I'm surprised you came," You tell him. Art doesn't look at you for a moment, and you take the chance to lean back against the hard plastic seat. He's as beautiful as he was the last time the two of you were together, the night before graduation—practically in the same seats. You don't know if he was thinking about that when he'd led the way into the stands, chosen where to sit. Maybe it was pure muscle-memory.

Either way, you don't know how long the two of you have been sitting out there, knees bumping, passing the bottle back and forth. You take in his profile—the slope of his nose and cut of his jaw; the bob of his adam's apple as he swallows.

"My therapist said it would be good," He finally admits. "Told me I needed to get out more, start getting back into events, work at the foundation...What about you, huh?" He turns, brows raising. "You always told me that you hated this stuff."

You're surprised he remembers.

"I do hate this stuff, but," You shrug. "Anne didn't want to come alone."

"You're a good friend. I never forgot that." He sits up and passes the bottle back to you. "What happened to us, huh?"

"What do you mean?"

"Why did we stop talking?"

I couldn't keep begging for scraps of attention.

"I don't know," You deflect. "Guess we just lost touch. It happens."

"I shouldn't have let it happen to us."

You look down at the bottle, sweeping your finger across a slipping drop of condensation.

"You were busy."

"You weren't?"

"Not in the same way," You laugh self-consciously.

"What were you busy with then, huh?" He shifts, thigh pressing against yours. "You used to always say you'd uh—burn out by twenty-six."

"Yeah."

"Did you?"

"Oh, it didn't take nearly that long."

"What!" He laughs. "What the hell happened?"

"I don't know what to tell you, man. A girl can only take a soul-sucking marketing job for so long."

"So what do you do now?"

"Still in marketing, but I'm a manager, so. Still soul-sucking, but making a little more money."

"You like it?"

"God no, but I don't know what else I would do." You pass the bottle back.

"Could find something for you at the foundation."

You wrinkle your nose, shaking your head as Art sputters a laugh, asks, "What?"

"Don't do that, Art."

"Don't do what?"

"I don't need, you know—"

"We could use you—"

"You don't even know what I do at work."

"I bet it's great—"

"You don't even know if I'm a good worker—"

"Sure I do, I know you."

"No, you don't!"

You know it's a mistake the second it leaves your mouth. Art's smile wavers as he leans away again.

"I just mean—" You try.

"I know what you mean. It's been a long time."

"...Yeah, it has." You take the bottle back, drawing deeply from it before passing it back. "I should get going. I'm sure Anne's looking for me."

"Sure."

You don't say goodbye or tell him that it was nice to see him. You just make as hasty a retreat as you can without tripping over your feet.

--

@ a_donaldsonofficial requested to follow you. 3h

You're not sure what surprises you more—the follow request or the message in your DMs: Dinner?

--

His groan is sinful and low, and makes you rethink ever losing contact with the guy. Under the warm glow of the diner's lights, his eyes slip shut, fingers tightening around the bun.

"...When's the last time you had a burger?" You finally manage to ask.

"I can't remember." He admits it through the mouthful, and you don't begrudge him the couple of flecks of food that land on the table. You smile, plucking up a couple of fries.

"Art?"

"Mm."

"Why'd you ask me to dinner?"

Art sets the burger down as he swallows, taking off his napkin to clean off his hands.

"I was thinking...About what you said at the reunion."

"Mhm."

"About me not knowing you. You're right. But you know what?" He presses on before you can process your surprise. "I don't think you know me, either."

You think for a moment, brows furrowing. He's right. You know the image of Art Donaldson that's been projected to you over the years—on tv screens, in magazines, in online clips.

"...I don't think I do," You agree.

"Figured we should fix that. Catch up, fill each other in on what we've missed."

"Okay."

"So, after college..." He trails off, waving his hand. "Fill me in."

"Moved to New York."

"Uh-huh."

"Working in marketing."

"Burned out before 26—"

"Yeah, hit my capitalistic peak at 23."

"That fast?"

"I mean, that's the last time I remember giving a shit about work, so. Yeah."

"Relationships?"

"...A couple," You admit.

"Serious?"

"Yeah. One."

"Married?"

"No. Engaged." His eyes drop to your bare left hand, and you hurriedly tuck it into your lap. "Formerly engaged."

"What happened?"

"It just didn't feel right. I don't think either of us were ready."

"...Was it anyone I knew? I don't remember you dating much at school."

"Guess I didn't."

"You weren't shy."

"Well no, but—"

"So what was it?"

"I had the worst crush on you, dude!" It's another mistake, but where the last one seemed to make Art retreat, this one leaves his gobsmacked. His eyes widen, mouth opening in a wide smile.

"You what?"

"Oh, kay, you know what—"

"I had no idea!"

"I was very subtle."

Art leans back in the diner booth, watching you openly. You can see the gears turning in his head, and you wonder what he may be remembering, holding up and twisting about in this new light.

"...Huh," He mutters.

"You can feel free to forget that at any time."

"I don't think I will...I wish I'd known."

You consider for a moment before you shrug. "I don't know. I'm kinda glad that you didn't."

"Really?" His brows knit with confusion. "Why?"

"I don't like coming second, Art."

Art nods slowly, and you see something tight pass across his face before it's smoothed away again.

"You know what?" He smiles bitterly. "Neither do I."

You nod toward his plate.

"Your burger's getting cold."

--

"So, uh..." Art clears his throat as the two of you take slow, drifting steps to your car. "I'm gonna say two things, and I don't want you to think that they've got anything to do with what you said earlier."

You know exactly what he means, but you just grumble, "I said a lot of things earlier."

"I think we both know which one I'm talking about."

"Uh-huh. So what's up?"

"...I wanna see you again."

"Okay."

"But things are a little...Messy right now. Tashi and I are working on getting Lily into a regular rhythm and it's harder than we thought it would be."

You lean back against your car, tucking your hands into your pockets.

"Mhm...I hesitate to ask."

"Yeah."

"How does this have to do with what I said earlier?"

"I just don't want you to think that this is—"

"A consolation prize?"

"Something like that."

"Whatever you need to do to get in a good place with Lily is fine, Art, you don't need to justify that to me."

"Even if it means you come second?"

You tip your head to the side, pursing your lips. "It's different when it's your kid. I meant that I didn't want to be second to—You know."

"...Yeah," He mutters, looking at his feet as he takes another foot forward. "And for the record, I was thinking of asking you out again by the time we sat down."

"You could've changed your mind."

"I didn't. And I don't want to."

You smile, nodding. "Well I don't want you to, either." You straighten up as you fish into your bag for your keys. "Call me the next time you're in New York."

"Sure."

You reach out, cupping his cheek and leaning in, pecking his cheek. You pull away, smiling at the flush creeping across his face.

"Goodnight, Art."

"Night."

--

It isn't easy at first. Messages are far and few, mostly how are yous and how was your days. You think that as nice as the little swell of contact has been, that's all it'll be—but the two of you both start to really try. The odd text becomes the weekly phone call. Weekly phone calls become daily FaceTimes. On the nights when he has Lily, they're late, usually when you're getting ready for bed. On the nights when he's on his own, the two of you eat dinner together and chat over your calls. It isn't always perfect, but it's more than you could've anticipated from that dinner a couple of months ago.

--

"She down?"

"Yeah."

"Are you in a hotel again?"

"...Yeah." Art seems to admit it grudgingly, and you smile a little as you take up your toner and a cotton pad.

"There's nothing wrong with leaning into it if it's working," You argue. "And not to be that bitch, but you're not exactly broke."

"Might be if she keeps ordering room service and movies on-demand."

You laugh softly, turning your attention to your reflection as you swipe the toner across your face.

"How's your day been?" Art asks.

"Fine, standard. I had to fill out an assessment ahead of my annual review."

"When's that?"

"End of the week."

"How do you feel about it?"

"Mm," You shrug reaching for a serum. "Fine, I guess. I'm doing okay, my team's hitting their targets."

"You're doing better than okay."

"Art."

"You are."

"Well. Thank you for that." You glance over as he goes quiet, catching a glimpse of him as you smooth the serum into your skin. You raise your brows at the sight of his gentle, warm smile. "What is it?"

"You're beautiful."

Your face goes warm at the compliment, and you bite the inside of your cheek to tamp down your wide, idiotic smile.

"You are tired, huh," You deflect.

"I mean it."

"...I know," You murmur, reaching for your moisturizer. "Tell me what you got up to today."

"I had a meeting at the foundation. We're starting planning for the gala."

"Oh yeah? Have you done them before?"

"We've had three before, but I was usually playing or training, so I haven't been as involved in the planning."

"How's it been?"

"We're still in the preliminary stages, but it's been interesting, you know, seeing how the pieces come together before I usually see them."

You nod, picking the phone up from the mirror holder and heading into your bedroom.

"Where are you gonna have it?"

"We're still scouting locations...As a matter of fact," Art adds, "We're considering a few in New York."

"Oh?"

"I'll be down there for at least a few days, and I wanna see you."

You grin bashfully as you climb into bed, settling against your pillows.

"I wanna see you, too. Are you gonna, um—I mean, is Lily gonna be with you?"

"No, it'll be Tashi's weekend."

"Okay, cool. Just wanna make sure I don't mess up your time."

"I appreciate that." Art's tongue swipes across his lower lip, eyes sweeping across your face. "I gotta say..."

"Mmm?"

"I'm looking forward to seeing your apartment."

"Oh, really?" You chuckle. "Why's that?"

"It'll be interesting, that's all. I mean, you already take me to bed every night."

You laugh, covering your eyes as you groan, "Oh, god, shut up!" as Art chuckles.

"Let me know when you're free," You add. "Your schedule's gonna be weirder than mine."

"Yeah, I will, as soon as I know what it is." You watch as Art lays down, propping his phone up on the nightstand. "...Can you stay on?"

"Yeah," You soothe, setting your phone on the nightstand in suit. "Until we fall asleep."

"Okay," He murmurs. The two of you settle in on your sides, watching one another on the phone.

"Night, Art."

"Sweet dreams."

--

The restaurant is picked. Your nails are done, your hair is done; you get a new dress, new shoes, a new bag. You're going to have an amazing night—a good dinner, a great conversation, and, if you have any luck, an amazing good night kiss.

--

You know the minute you see him that you're not making it to the restaurant. Art's eyes sweep over you in covetous wonder when you open the door. He closes the gap between the two of you, drawing you into his arms, and this time you go without a second thought. He presses his face into your neck, letting out a gentle hum at the scent of your perfume. The tip of his nose trails up over your jaw, his lips brushing the corner of your lips as his forehead rests against yours. He sighs as you draw in a nervous breath, and he sways in, lips pressing to yours.

You raise your hand to cup his neck, shivering as his hands smooth over your hips. He guides you deeper inside, blindly reaching back and shoving the door shut behind you as you fling your purse toward the bench in your entryway. His kisses grow hungrier as he steers you down the hall. You slip your tongue along his, smoothing your hand up to grasp his hair. Your fingers fumble with the buttons on his shirt, exposing more of his pale, muscled chest to you. He slides down the zipper on the back of your dress and leans away just long enough to draw the dress up over your head. His eyes sweep across you, taking in your lingerie.

You hook your thumbs under the band of your underwear, giving them a teasing wiggle as you back further away from him. You expect him to follow, but he steers you back against the wall, dropping his head to suck hot kisses along your neck and down to your chest. He yanks one of the cups of your bra down, taking your nipple into his mouth. You bite your lip, tipping your head back against the wall and whining as he slots his knee between your thighs. You roll your hips down against the hard muscle as he laves and teases your nipple, reaching up to thumb and tweak the other.

"Art—Mm, god that feels so good."

He groans against your skin, trailing his kisses further down as he lowers himself to his knees. You look down as he curls his fingers around your panties—and waits. You smile softly, nodding, murmuring, "Please?"

Art grins, pressing a kiss to your hip before he gently eases the fabric down, waiting for you to lift your feet so he can fling them away. He leans in, swiping his tongue across your aching clit. Your knees would knock if he wasn't wedged between them. You draw in a shallow breath, letting your head tip back as he draws your leg over his shoulder. You shiver at the feeling of the chilly air against your heated, slick flesh. He nuzzles and laps against your cunt, taking each tip of your hips in stride. His hand smooths up your trembling inner thigh, giving your ass a gentle squeeze before he teases a finger into you. You whimper at the touch, unable to help the way your pussy clenches around it.

Art groans at the feeling, turning his head to smear his lips slips against your hip.

"Goddamn," He breaths against you.

"More."

You feel more than hear his gentle chuckle as he eases another finger in.

"Need it bad, huh?"

"You have no idea."

"I'm getting a pretty good idea." He turns his head, leveling a sucking kiss to your clit that makes you cry out. You tighten your grip on his hair as he pumps his fingers harder, curling and scissoring them as he pushes you closer to the edge.

"Art—Mm, god, fuck, yes—Yes—" Your toes curl in your shoes as your hips rabbit down against his face and fingers, chasing the swell of your orgasm. You look back down as he draws back and find his lips and chin shining with your juices.

"Bed," He urges.

"You can fuck me right here."

Art laughs, standing and smoothing his hand over your thigh.

"We're doing this right."

"We could be doing this right...." You slid your hand down his chest to palm his cock through his pants. "Here."

You grin as Art's eyelids flutter, his dick twitching against you.

"Bed," He insists again.

It isn't far to go, and the two of you are entirely bare by the time you get there. You scooch back onto the bed, spreading your legs as he rolls on a condom. He's over you a moment later, and you watch the bulge of his biceps as he braces his hands on either side of your head. You bite your lip as you feel the brush of his cock against your entrance. You reach down, grasping his cock and guiding him closer.

You tip your head up, tongue teasing the seam of his lips as he eases into you. You melt into the mattress as he crushes against you, filling you completely. You wrap your arms around his shoulders, sliding your legs over his, as if you'll manage to fuse the two of you together. Art's tongue swirls around yours before he captures your lips in a kiss, rolling his hips slowly.

"More," You plead, but Art keeps his pace achingly steady, even when you try to pick up the pace.

"You feel so fucking good," He breathes, "Even better than you taste."

"Harder, Art, please, god damn, please," You whimper. He tips his head to the side nipping at the hinge of your jaw as he reaches down, hiking your hip up even higher. Your mouth fell open with a stunned moan as he presses deeper, the slap of his hips filthily filling the stifling air around you. You arch up against him, nails raking down his back as you feel the swell of another orgasm.

"Art."

"Yeah?"

"Mhm—Fuck, almost—"

"That's it." He sucks his fingers between his lips before he slips them between your bodies, swiping across your tender clit. You begin to close your eyes, but he tuts softly.

"Don't—Don't close your eyes—Look at me," He orders between breaths. You force yourself to focus on Art, taking in the flush on his cheeks, his almost dazed eyes.

"You, too—" You urge.

"Yeah—"

"Oh—yeah," You gasp, unable to keep your gaze on his you cum. You feel Art's hips slap roughly against yours before he slows, groaning low in his chest. You draw in a deep breath as your heart pounds in your chest, sinking back against your pillows as he settles down over you. You smooth your hand over his nape, smiling as he nuzzles against your shoulder, dropping tender kisses to your skin.

"...Art?"

"Yeah?"

"I think we're going to be late for dinner."

--

"You know, I've been thinking."

"You've been doing a lot more than thinking, mister," You mutter, and grin as Art laughs. You cuddle closer against his side, nuzzling into his chest as he tightens his arm around your shoulders.

"I'm glad I didn't know you liked me in college."

"Really?" You tip your head up, brow furrowing. "Why's that?"

"...I wasn't ready for you back then." He smooths his fingers along your jaw, eyes wandering your face contemplatively. "It's like you said, you know. You would've come second."

You nod, turning your head to press a kiss to his palm.

"I don't think I was ready for you, either," You admit. Art smiles.

"And you are now?"

"More than."

Tag list: @missredherring ; @fantasticcopeaglepasta ; @massivecolorspygiant ; @blueeyesatnight ; @amneris21

@ew-erin ; @youngkenobilove ; @carbonated-beverage​​​ ;  @moonlightburned ; @milf-trinity

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@buckybarneshairpullingkink ; @mad-girl-without-a-box ; @winchestershiresauce ; @lorecraft ; @kmc1989

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Aita for not taking down a jokey sign on my bathroom door when my parents came over?

Cw: talk of diarrhea. Not explicitly.

So I (21f)and 2 of my friends (20f,lets call her lilly and 23m, lets call him matt)moved into an apartment about 2 years ago and so far, everything has been good. We've been able to manage our bills, keep a clean home, I couldn't ask for better. We've known each other since middle school, there's ackward moments and small disagreements when Matt brings over his boyfriend (he almost always yells when he speaks and slams doors) but everything is generally all good.

Every apartment shared by more than one gen z is gonna have some quirks and ours is the "code brown" sign. Me and matt have IBS and occasionally have some mild to moderate.... Bowel problems and there's only one bathroom. Usually it's not a problem but there's been a few occasions where someone will be taking awhile scrolling tik Tok or whatever or taking a long shower and me or Matt have an issue.

Originally it was a group chat half joke warning that someone was having a "code brown" and no one could lolly gag in the restroom because one of us might be making trips. It became an inside joke and last year, lilly had a cheap small hanging sign made by some wood burner on Etsy that basically read on one side "All clear, private!" and on the other read "Code brown! Get going or get down!". It was hilarious and we hung it on the bathroom door and now use it unironically. All our friends enjoyed it, Matt's boyfriend loudly so but not so much my parents.

About a week ago, I finally allowed my parents to check out my place. They aren't super Christian like evangelicals but my dad has been going red pilled and more so by the day so I tried to make my apartment look less like it was shared by three liberals and wore something nice and cooked a nice dinner. I paid for lilly and matt to go catch a movie and some Wendy's on me so they'd be out of the house. All was good until my dad went to the bathroom and came back with the damn sign looking like his head was going to explode. He screamed at me that he thought I was an adult, that I was failing at getting my shit together (they don't pay for anything and i live on my own?) and I was a child for hanging up such a clearly inappropriate sign. My mom agreed, though much less Intensely and my dad proceeded to break the sign over his knee and chastise me for a good 20 minutes before grabbing his things, demanding an apology in a few days and leaving with my mom.

Once lilly and matt got home I apologized and offered to buy a new sign. Lilly and Matt were just happy nothing else was broken and I was ok. I did eventually apologize to my dad because I can see where a poop sign might be a little inappropriate for important company but tbh I forgot about it and I was so busy making dinner I didn't realize it was still up or I would of tossed it in my room and moved on. Lilly and Matt just say my dad has a stick up his ass and shouldn't of messed with the sign(it was flipped to the no code brown side so he had to flip it to see it).

Was i the asshole for not taking down a gag sign about poop when my parents came over?

What are these acronyms?

[brooooswriting]

BOOM BROKO

IM BACK WITH ANOTHER IDEA FOR U

So I'm thinking Sam x Reader who is selectively mute <and a lil scared of her>(don't attack me people I just like the trope)

Yes , anyway at first she thought R was Suspicious, abut then she found out That R was Selectively mute when she pulled out a Pad to write an answer.

But then R talked to Sam 😯 and She was very happy ya know FLOOF because we need it

(if you don't feel comfortable doing this, then don't :) Lu <3 )

Might be quiet

Sam Carpenter x reader

Sam was suspicious of everyone, it was nothing new. So nobody was surprised when she was also suspicious of you, somebody new to the group. Especially because you were two years older than Tara, who had brought you into the group after meeting you at college. Something about that was already off for her, why would you hand out with people two years younger than you? And by the amount of times you and T hung out it seemed like you were only hanging out with her.

But what really made her suspicious was the fact that you never talked. Well, to be honest, Sam wasn’t one to strike up a convo either but ever since Tara brought you home three weeks ago she hasn’t heard you say a damn word, it was weird and nobody could convince her otherwise. Not saying anything would make it even harder for them to figure it out if you were ghostface.

“Tara, there’s something wrong with her. She’s totally 100% suspicious” Sam said as you left, hugging Tara but again, no words were spoken. Not even a goodbye, which wasn’t just suspicious to Sam but also rude.

“She’s not Sam. Just leave her alone about it please. She’s not suspicious or weird, she has her reasons” the younger carpenter disappeared before Sam could ask any questions. She knew about your selective muteness from the beginning, it was her first day and she didn’t know where to go so she asked you. When you pulled out pen and paper she thought you were mute but after meeting her a couple of times you could explain your condition to her.

After being at Tara’s for the first time you refused to go there again as Sam scared the living shit out of you. It was like that for rather long, even if seen in public she’d just stare you down which scared you even more. But after seeing her interact with her younger sister a couple of times, you realized that she was only overprotective of her. It made her a bit less scary. So you came to the apartment again, more often than you would have thought.

One day, Tara invited you over. But due to a terrible miscalculation of everything on Tara’s side you arrived before her, meaning that Sam opened the door for her. You gave her an awkward wave. “Y/n, hi. Tara said she’d be here soon” Sam said stepping to the side, slightly rolling her eyes when you didn’t talk. You stood even more awkwardly in the room, unsure of where to go until Sam pointed to the dinner table. When you said down without saying anything Sam finally snapped.

“Jeez, do you ever say anything? Do you know how weird it is to never say Anything?! And also quiet rude, I mean like, say hello and bye. My goodness” Sam nearly screamed making you cower and give her a sad smile which made her roll her eyes, this time very obvious. “How did Tara even meet you?!” She continued starring into your soul.

You looked away awkwardly, your eyes landing on your backpack. You held up a finger, signaling her to wait while you fished some things out of your bag. Sam looked at the paper and the pen curiously as you started to write in neat handwriting.

‘We met on campus, she didn’t know where to go so she asked me. Had to write down the directions’

Sam looked at you and then at the paper, trying to piece together the puzzle. “So you had to write down the way?” She asked and you nodded.

“You didn’t talk to her?” She continued, you shook your head this time.

“But you do talk to her now when you’re alone?” She mumbled unsure, but your nod reassured her.

“You’re not always mute right?” You nodded again giving her a small smile.

“But sometimes you are?” The older sister seemed to be happy that she finally figured it out, giving you a rather big smile which made you smile too.

There was a moment of silence which was broken by Tara entering the apartment. “Y/n” she called out, causing you to jump up and hug her, happy to be with someone who gave you comfort. “You good?” She asked and you nodded, smiling slightly as it reminded you of your interaction with Sam who was now gone.

When you noticed that you finally mustered up the courage to speak. “How was your day?” You asked as Tara pulled you into her room, but your thoughts they were only on the older carpenter.

The next time you saw Sam was on campus, she was picking Tara up who stayed at your dorm for the day to study with you. You offered that she could sleep here but her sister didn’t allow it, to scared of something happening to her so she picked her up herself. The brunette was 20 minutes earlier than she was supposed to be, you didn’t think that it was gonna be her at the door but Anika. She was around you constantly, another person you could talk to but who often would talk most of the time so you didn’t have to. She was comforting and knew everything about you.

You opened the door with freshly washed hair and in joggers and a sports bra, while Tara went to have a shower as it was a hot day. The way you looked in a simple fit like that was the only thing you could focus on. “Hey, sorry I’m earlier than I thought I’d be” she said as she finally stopped staring at you, your face beet red.

A small smile signaled her that it was fine before you opened the door further and stretched your arm to the side inviting her in. Out of politeness and maybe a bit of curiosity she came inside, looking at the posters and the pictures you had in your room and then looking forwards the bathroom where she heard your shower running.

‘Tara’s showering. How are you? How was your day?” You wrote on a small whiteboard, showing it to her with a smile. There was something about that smile that made Sam all giddy, so she sat on the end of you bed and started talking to you, explaining how shitty her boss is and how she can’t wait for him to retire before asking about your day.

‘Your sister is amazing but if she forces me to watch babadook again I’m gonna need a new friend. We are watching that damn movie after every study session’ Sam grinned at you as you huffed pointing to your open laptop, the credits of the movie on hold.

“She makes me watch that too. I gave up on trying to fight it, I’m pretty sure I can memorize it by now” she told you just as Tara came out of the bathroom in one of your shirts. She felt Ill at ease knowing that her sister got to wear your cloths.

“What are you already doing here?” Tara asked as she dried her hair with a towel, Sam only shaking her head at the rude tone.

“I’m happy to see you too, no. Really no problem, I love picking you up after work” Sam said, her voice filled with sarcasm Making you chuckle a bit. Her head turned to you, that was the first sound she had heard from you except maybe a sigh or a grunt. It was one of the best sounds she had ever heard.

It went on like that for a while, Sam would talk to you, you’d write on something. You’d have normal conversation, sometimes even a bit deeper ones but she never got to the point where you talked to her. She believed that she noticed times where you tried but couldn’t. Honestly, ever since she knew why you weren’t speaking she found it cute. Sure, it was sad too, but the shyness was kinda cute to her.

“Hey y/n” Sam said as she let you into the apartment, Tara was again to late. Or rather, you were too early but you wanted some alone time with Sam. You waved at her and stepped into the room, nodding your head toward the couch. By now Sam had gotten a hang of understanding you even without words so she sat down on the couch, close enough for your legs to touch.

It was a habit you to created, instead of talking you guys would have physical contact. Your legs were touching or your shoulders brushing, sometimes her hand would rest half on top of yours or on your knee. There was this weird connection between you two lately but Sam decided to wait to make a move until you could talk to her. It just felt right to her. Her arms was stretched behind you on the couch.

You took a deep breath before opening your mouth. “W-we should go on a date” you mumbled out barely loud enough for Sam to understand but she did, a smile forming on her face. But now it was her time to be unable to speak, a nod being the first thing coming from her before she finally caught herself again.

“Yeah we should. Oh my god, you talked to me” she had the biggest smile on her face as she turned to look at you. Your cheeks coated in a slight pink. Your voice was the loveliest thing she had ever heard.

“Is it okay if I hug you?” You nodded out of Habit before taking a deep breath again.

“Yes, please” you said. This time your voice was louder. She pulled you into her arms, hugging you tight while pressing a kiss to the side of your face. She still couldn’t believe you had talked.

“I’m so happy” she grinned out as she pulled away, the smiles on your face matching as you looked at each other. This time her arms wrapped around your shoulder pulling you a bit closer, you happily leaning against her.

At least until Tara came causing you to pull away from Sam and sit at your normal distance. She looked at you confused while her sister walked over to the two of you. “Hey guys” she said as she sat down on the arm chair. Sam greeted her back while you nodded at her, confusing Sam. “Wanna watch a movie?” The younger carpenter continued, both of you nodding.

After the movie you decided to go back to your dorm, waving goodbye to Sam after giving Tara a hug. You walked down the stairs in thoughts only to be interrupted by someone running down the stair, it was Sam with a trash bag in hand.

“I needed an excuse to follow you” she started as she followed your gaze to the trash in her hand. “Did you change your mind about this? Because everything changed as soon as T came in” she asked staring at the ground, scared that you did in fact change your mind.

Your mouth opened and closed like a fish, panic started to take over as your hands shook a bit and your eyes avoided sams. You heard the trash bag fell before you saw Sam take a step closer and engulfing you in a careful hug. “Shhh, take your time. It’s okay either way, if it was just a panic reaction it’s okay. Now take your time, or I can give you my phone and you can type it out” she held you so loose that you always had the opportunity to pull away but at the same time strong enough to give you comfort. Your arms wrapped around her neck, your face against her chest.

After a short bit you finally gathered the courage to talk again. “I didn’t change my mind, I just panicked when I heard T. I’m sorry but I promise you I want this” you told her leaning up to press a kiss to her cheek.

“It’s okay, I just wanted to make sure you didn’t feel pressured to go out with me” she smiled at your form in her arms before continuing. “Is it okay if I kiss you?” You nodded, not wanting to waste any time by speaking. She grinned and leaned down to press a soft kiss to your lips, you were chasing hers as she pulled away.

“You know, I practiced asking you out a lot with Anika” you told her before leaning up to kiss her again. Her eyes stayed close as you pulled away as she wanted to bask in the feeling a little longer, but when she opened her eyes you were already out of the front door.

God, she couldn’t wait to hear your voice again.

What are we thinking about part two? Or maybe a series out of this?

[themorningsunshine]

Pretense

(Requested)

Masterlist

Pairing - Bucky Barnes x f!reader , platonic Avengers x reader

Summary - You have been with orverprotective parents your whole life, and it never bothered you as much. You know they mean well. Until they spew lies in front of your friends and ruin everything for you, including your chance at love.

Warnings - shitty parents, angst, fluff, misunderstandings, a lot of crying, slight language. not proofread 

Word count - 7k (I need to be stopped) 

a/n - This was requested by the lovely @caritobbg​​. I thought it would be a short one shot but it instead turned out to be the longest fic I have ever written. I tried to do the idea justice, hope you lile it, girl. 

"Yeah, dad. I am at the tower."

"What do you mean why? I live AND work here."

"Yeah, I am taking care of myself, mom." "No, they don't fight each other all the time."

"No, Tony hasn't filled the tower with deadly robots." "No, Steve doesn't conduct history lessons here."

You sighed as your parents asked you for the 10th time this week if you were being kept hostage at the Avengers compound.

Your dad spoke from the other side of the phone. "You know we worry about you, princess. We just don't trust those superheroes."

You smiled a little at the nickname your dad had always called you since you were a little girl. "Yeah, dad, I understand that you worry about me but they are my friends and I trust them. I really wish you could trust them too."

Your parents had always been a little too protective of you. Being an only child, you were the object of their affection more often than not. It had never bothered you as much. You know they meant well.

But it had gotten much worse now. About a year ago, Tony Stark himself offered you a job to work with the avengers considering your skills and obviously, you said yes. It was an opportunity of a lifetime and you had found a family in the team too.

You hadn't told your parents about your new job for 6 months because you were afraid of their reaction. As you had anticipated, they didn't take their little girl working for superheroes very well.

Okay, that was an understatement. Your parents didn't trust the Avengers and they surely didn't trust them enough to be able to protect you. They took any chance they got to convince you to leave the job. All you wanted was for both of your families to get along. Maybe it was too much to ask for.

"Dad, we are friends. We look out for each other. We have each others' backs. Give them a chance, please. Why can't you try to trust them?"

"Hmm. Let me see. Your 'friends' consist of ex-assassins, a witch who used to work for Hydra, a "genius" and his scientist friend who created a robot that wanted to kill the whole of humanity. Oh, and the scientist also has huge anger issues. Like he literally turns into a monster when he is angry. Your best friend has killed more people than she can count. And this group of yours almost broke up once when the best friend of one killed the parents of another. Oh, and that soldier of yours has also reportedly killed a president. You are right. What's there to not trust?"

"Dad, he was brainwashed!!"

"Doesn't make him any less unstable."

You sighed. These arguments with your parents were a dead end. You knew you weren't going to get anywhere.

"Alright, mom, dad. I gotta go."

"Okay, sweetheart. Just take care of yourself. At least until we come to meet you next month."

You smiled at that. "Can't wait. I want to introduce you to everybody. Love you, guys. See you soon, Bye"

"We love you too, princess."

Your smile dropped as you hung up the phone and realization struck you. Your parents were going to visit and as much as you wanted them to meet everybody, you were scared. You could never be sure about how your parents would react. They were too unpredictable.

You were so lost in your thoughts that you didn't hear footsteps approaching.

"You okay, doll?"

The voice startled you as you turned back to be met by the beautiful blue of Bucky's eyes. You kept a hand on your chest to calm your breathing. "God, you scared me, Buck."

Bucky just chuckled as he looked at you, eyes filled with concern. "Well, maybe you should be careful who sneaks up on you, doll. This is not really the safest place on Earth."

"The only person who sneaks up on me is you, Bucky." You replied with a smile of your own, as you felt your concerns slipping away.

"Exactly my point. I am not really the most trustworthy person either."

"Then why do I trust you with my life?" The words slipped before you could think about how they would sound. Your cheeks turn little red as you look down at your feet. "You are too good for your own good," Bucky replied with a slight blush of his own and he meant it with everything he had. You were too pure and too trusting for this world. He would never know how he got to even call you his friend.

His eyes squinted as he noticed something. "Doll, there's something in your hair."

Before you could react, he took a step towards you and with gentle hands removed a piece of confetti out of your hair.

You ran your hands through your hair before looking up to thank him when you realized how close the both of you were standing. You were pretty sure he could hear how fast your heart was beating.

The both of you stood there staring into each other's eyes until Bucky took a step back, red color creeping up to his cheeks. He rubbed his neck, flustered, before finally speaking, "Um, I should - I should go."

You nodded your head, trying desperately to get your heart to beat normally. "Yeah, yeah. I'll see you around."

As Bucky walked away, you couldn't wipe off the smile from your face when suddenly your conversation with your parents hit you again.

God, it was going to be a long month.

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"And if you need anything, you can also ask Jarvis." You explained to your parents with the widest grin on your face.

"God, I can't believe you guys are finally here."

Your parents smiled at you before your mom engulfed you in a hug, 7th in the past 1 hour.

"Okay, guys. You know I love you both so much, but we are going to go in now and meet everybody. Can you please, please be nice?"

Your mom put her hand on her chest with a dramatic expression, "You don't trust us?"

You chuckled at how dramatic your mother could sometimes be. "I do, You know I do. But I also know as a matter of fact that both of you aren't very fond of my friends. And all I am asking is that you give them a chance. They are great people, mom. They are really really great and I care a lot about all of them. So, I just need you to be a little open-minded about them. That's all I am asking. Can you do that for me?" "Of course, we will, princess. We hate these inept superheroes but not as much as we love you."

Your parents then looked at each other a too long, which you didn't think much of, too excited at the prospect of your parents and friends getting along.

You took them inside the compound as they looked around in what you hoped was awe.

"Good morning, J.A.R.V.I.S" You greeted the AI just like you did every day.

"Good morning, Ms l/n"

Your parents looked around in shock trying to figure out where that voice came from when you chuckled. "Mom, dad, I told you, you need anything, just ask J.A.R.V.I.S"

Your dad narrowed his eyes at you. "Where is this JARVIS of yours?"

You giggled before replying, "Everywhere and nowhere." Troubling your parents never got old.

"Stop putting forward riddles, we are not in a fantasy adventure movie." Your mom complained.

"Sorry. Sorry Mom, dad, meet J.A.R.V.I.S. He is an AI that operates the whole tower, literally. If you want to know anything, just ask him. Tony created him. That man is such a genius."

Your dad almost rolled his eyes. "Why couldn't he just hire a human to work for him, just like normal people do?"

You sighed, just hoping that the day goes smoothly.

You couldn't be more wrong.

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"And this room is the briefing room." You opened the door to let your parents in but they just looked around from the doorway.

You had just started showing your parents around the compound, readying yourself for the inevitable. The whole team was pretty excited about meeting your parents and you knew sooner than later that someone will run into you.

The inevitable happened as soon as you stepped into the dining room.

Tony was standing there, getting his morning cup of coffee and his face told you he hadn't slept very well last night. Ever since he picked up the mission to update the compound's security system last month, he had hardly been sleeping. You were worried about him.

"Tony?" You said in a soft voice so as to not startle him.

"Oh, hey, kiddo. Awake a little too early today?" He said with a tired smile on his face, taking a jab at the fact that you were definitely not a morning person.

"Are you okay, Tony?"

"Hmm, yeah. Totally." He then looked at your parents who were standing beside you with a scowl on their faces. "Won't you introduce us?"

"Oh, right." A wide grin spread on your face as you turned towards your parents. "Mom, dad. This is Tony. Kind of the co-leader of the group. Tony, these are my parents."

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Mr and Mrs l/n. You have a great daughter."

Your cheeks turned red until your parents began speaking.

"So, he is the guy who has his head so up his arse that he doesn't care about anyone besides himself?" Your dad with a scowl on his face.

You gasped as Tony's eyes widened. "Dad, what are you talking about?"

"He is Stark, right? That's what you said about him after the first day you worked here."

Your eyes widened as your mouth fell open. What was happening? You hadn't even told your parents about your job for the first 6 months. Why were they -

Your eyes frantically searched for Tony's and you felt a slight pain in your chest when you saw how hard he was trying to feign the hurt in his eyes. You needed to set this right. "Tony - "

"Oh, and could you please stop annoying our daughter with all the science and tech talk? That stuff bores the shit out of her." Your mother interrupted you before you could even say anything.

You looked at Tony, desperately trying to explain to him that it wasn't true. You had told your parents how much you loved listening to Tony rambling about his latest creation. You loved how passionate he was about his work. You couldn't imagine your parents using that against you like this.

Before you could say something, Tony spoke, "Oh, I am sorry, I didn't know me talking about what essentially pays your salary irritated you so much." He said with a snarl in his voice that he had never used with you before. Even though the both of you weren't that apart in age, he was like a dad to you and you would never hurt him.

"Tony, it's not what you think." You said, desperately asking him to give you a chance to explain yourself when some more people walked through the door.

You watched as Nat and Wanda entered the kitchen, engrossed in their talk, smiling when they see you.

"Heya, girl"

You internally panic. You didn't know what your parents were up to but this couldn't be nice. You just wanted to take them away from here.

Tony speaks up before you can do anything, "Her parents are here. And they have something very interesting to say. Turns out our goody two shoes has some very different thoughts about us."

"Tony, no. It's not like that. I don't know why - "

"Hey, let me guess who are these two." Your mother exclaimed, conveniently shutting you up.

Wanda looked between you and Tony in confusion before smiling at your parents. "It's a pleasure to finally meet you. Y/n talks a lot about you."

Your mom looked her up and down before saying with disdain in her voice, "Redhead. A pretty face. You must be the witch."

Wanda's smile wavered but she didn't let her discomfort show.

"You're the one who is so desperate for love that she is dating a toaster."

Wanda gasped as her smile fell. She looked at you, confused and hurt.

"Mom, what are you - "

"That's what you told us, princess. That she is dating a toaster. What's its name again? Vi - Vis.." "Vision. His name is Vision and he is NOT a toaster." Wanda then looked dead into your eyes. "But it's good to know that that's what you think, y/n."

You shook your head frantically. "No, no, Wan. It's not like that. You know that's not true. I would never say that."

Wanda's eyes didn't waver and dread filled you. Your friends were not trusting you.

"What does she say about me?" Nat spoke up. She asked as if she couldn't care less but being her best friend for almost a year now, you could read it in her eyes that she was almost as afraid of the answer as you were.

"You're the black widow, right?" Your father questioned.

Your mother spoke up without waiting for a reply, "You are the useless one. No, like, really, the three of us always wonder, why are you even a part of the group? There are supersoldiers in here, witches and literal gods, what do you do? Throw some punches? Kicks?"

"Gods. That reminds me, where are the self-proclaimed gods/aliens of yours?" Your dad snickered, amused.

"Which one?" Your mom questioned in reply. "The doofus or the monster which can never be trusted?"

You had had enough. You exclaimed, "Okay, guys. Enough. Stop talking."

Your dad smirked. The audacity. "Come on, princess. Aren't you tired of pretending? Don't you want your friends to know what you actually think about them?"

You opened your mouth to tell them that whatever they were saying was as far from the truth as it could get when everybody in the kitchen heard footsteps approaching.

You heard Steve before you saw him, "Who thinks about what?" He asked, genuinely curious.

Your heart started beating frantically when you realized he wasn't alone. Sam and Bucky had entered the kitchen with him. But unlike the other times, your heart was beating with fear. This couldn't be happening. No, no.

"Y/n's parents are here. They were telling us all the great stuff she says about us to them." Wanda said with pure disgust in her voice. You had never seen her this mad.

"Guys, trust me. It's not - " "Come on, y/n. Let them speak." Sam said before turning towards your parents. "It's a pleasure to finally meet you, Mr and Mrs l/n."

Your father rolled his eyes before saying, "You're the one who got kicked out of the Air Force and then kissed Captain America's arse for a job."

Sam's jaw dropped but before he could say anything your mom replied, "No, honey. Y/n told us it was that Ant-man."

Your dad shook his head. "No, no. Antman is the one who went to jail. He is Falcon."

You were seeing red now. You knew that your parents were a little too overprotective of you and hence didn't like you taking this job. But you thought meeting your friends and realizing how caring and nice everybody was would change their minds. You never thought that they would ever do this to you.

You desperately wanted to explain yourself. To tell your friends that this was all a lie but you couldn't. You could see it in their eyes that they already hated you. And with your parents standing right there, you knew it would be impossible to give them. Maybe you could talk to them after your parents left. You just hoped they would give you a chance to explain yourself.

When your dad's eyes landed on Bucky, panic swelled inside you. Nononono.

"Oh, and you must be the winter soldier. That metal arm makes it pretty obvious though." Your dad said as he pointed towards Bucky's left side with pure disgust in his eyes as if it was the most horrifying thing he had ever seen.

Tears welled in your eyes as you saw how Bucky pulled his sleeves to cover more of his arm and blocked it from view.

"Do you have any idea how difficult you make it for people to work in this compound? Y/n complains to us how she has to walk on eggshells around you, scared that anytime you would get back to being the assassin that you have always been." Your mother uttered the words with a permanent frown on her face.

"But can you blame her though? You can not just kill hundreds of people and live freely, pretending to be a hero."

"Enough." You shouted. You couldn't take it anymore and your parents had gone too far.

You looked at Bucky, about to explain to him that none of it was true. That you were never scared of him. Not even for a second. Because you loved him. Since the day you had met him, your heart had held nothing but love for him.

But the look that you saw in his eyes made you stop in your tracks. He wasn't looking at you with hate or anger. No, it was much worse. He looked hurt. As if someone had pulled his heart out of his chest and stomped on it. You couldn't help but notice that his eyes held a little bit of understanding too as if he didn't blame you for thinking that way.

Your chest hurt and you wanted nothing more than to reach out to him.

"Wow. That - that was." Steve broke the silence, but it was the first time you had seen him out of words. "Is that really what you think about us, y/n?"

"No, no, Steve, None of it is true."

"Come on, princess. You don't have to put up a facade anymore. No more pretense."

"Stop it." You shouted at your parents. This was the first time you had ever raised your voice at them, but you couldn't care less. They were ruining everything.

"Guys, you need to trust me. Please." You looked at everybody, begging them with your eyes and words to just trust you.

"I don't understand. Why did you pretend to be our friend for so long? Why pretend to care when that's what you really think?" Wanda spoke, bewildered.

"No, no. That's not - " You spoke, tears at the brim of your eyes. This couldn't be happening.

"For the money, of course. Come on, why would someone live in the most dangerous place on earth if not for a buttload of money?" Your dad said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"No, no, no, please. You guys have to trust me, please." You looked around at everybody, frantically searching for even a hint that everything was not ever. That they could trust you. But all you got was hurt faces and built-up walls.

"Why are you doing this to me?" You shout at your parents. You were extremely close to sliding on the floor and crying your heart out.

"We are trying to help you, princess. We are freeing you." Your mom said with a smug expression.

"You don't have to do that anymore," Tony spoke and all the eyes in the room looked at him. Hope swelled in your chest.

"You don't have to stay here and pretend to like us. I really really want to fire you but you know too much and your statistical skills are too good to be wasted. So, you will be transferred. Somewhere far from us where we don't ever have to see your face." Tony spoke with a sense of finality in his voice and your heart broke into a hundred pieces.

You looked at your feet and swallowed the lump in your throat before looking at him and whispering, "You don't have to do that." You then turned and looked into the blues of Bucky's eyes which you were so familiar with and all you could do was whisper, "I am sorry."

You didn't wait for anybody's response before walking out and towards your room.

There was nothing that you could do anymore.

You were not going to take that transfer.

This job was never about money to you. You had found a family here, and you loved them with everything you had. But it still wasn't enough for them to trust you.

You cried and cried and cried till you had no more tears to let go before getting up and packing your bag.

You had to leave. You couldn't face them again.

There was only one thing left to do.

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The compound was silent.

It was as if nobody even lived here anymore.

Everybody sat at the dining table staring at the food in front of them, nobody taking a bite.

It was as if a part of them was missing. As if the one thread that had bound them together was somehow suddenly torn apart.

There was an unspoken agreement between them. Nobody would talk about what had happened earlier that day. The wound was too fresh to be confronted.

Nobody knew where you were right now. But everybody just assumed that you were in your room.

Steve was very close to barging into your room and bringing you to the dining table. He couldn't count the number of times he had told you that you shouldn't talk while eating and even after choking on your food twice, you hadn't listened to him and Steve was glad. There was nothing he wouldn't give right now to bring back the lively chatter that had always surrounded the dining table. But he had to remind himself that everything he had thought was a lie, a pretense.

Tony was angry. He was seething. He had cared for you like you were his own daughter and you had thrown all of that into a drain.

Wanda just wanted to know how you were so good at acting. How you could pretend to be her best friend when you hated her all along?

But Bucky just wanted to know one thing - why. He didn't blame you for thinking that way about him. You weren't the only one who did. But he wanted to know why you would pretend to be his friend, to care about him when you thought him to be a monster. Why did you comfort him after all those panic attacks and nightmares telling him it wasn't his fault when you blamed him for every single thing? Why had you let him fall in love with you if you couldn't even stand him? You had to know that it would leave him devastated. He didn't blame you for hating him, but how was he supposed to live without your light now? Especially when he knew it was never for him?

Nat couldn't take it anymore. She couldn't just let everyone swallow themselves in silence for a person who never even cared about them in the first place. She harshly got up before walking towards the living room for a bottle of wine.

She shook her head when the memories of all of you hanging out at the same place plagued her mind.

As she walked past the bookshelf, she noticed something which had never been there before.

She frowned as she walked towards it to realize that it was a pen drive. She slowly picked it up to find a note attached to it which just read, "Sorry".

She was so engrossed that she didn't hear footsteps approaching until a hand took the pen drive from her. She looked up to realize Tony was looking at the drive intently as if scanning it with his eyes.

"What's this?" He asked, confused.

"No idea. Found it on the bookshelf."

Tony read the note and recognized the handwriting almost instantly. "It's y/n's."

✧༝┉˚*❋ ❋*˚┉༝✧✧༝┉˚*❋ ❋*˚┉༝✧✧༝┉˚*❋ ❋*˚┉༝✧✧༝┉˚*❋ ❋*˚┉༝✧✧༝┉˚*

Everybody sat in the living room staring intently at the screen before them.

Tony had assembled everybody and they had all agreed to watch the pen drive once. Maybe it would answer their questions. Maybe it was just an old pen drive and had to do nothing with what had happened today but they had to know.

The system finally finished scanning the drive after what felt like a lifetime and your face flashed on the screen.

Your tears-stained cheeks and red, swollen eyes, told them that the video was indeed today's.

"Hey, guys." You sounded broken and defeated.

"I am not even sure that you are going to watch this." You let out a sad chuckle.

"But I just needed to say this 'cause it feels like if I don't, it will swallow me whole. And you guys deserve to know the truth, too."

"I just - I want you all to know that all that you heard today, none of it was true. Not even a single word of it. And I need you guys to know this." You looked directly into the camera as if begging them to trust you and nobody dared to move.

"I - I don't know why my parents did what they did. I have no idea. I can tell myself that they were trying to protect me, but who am I trying to convince? 'Cause, you don't protect someone by taking away the best thing that ever happened to them." You sniffled, rubbing your palms on your face to wipe off the tears.

"And that is what this team was for me. This job, this team, was the best thing that ever happened to me. And it was never because of the money or the luxuries of living in the tower, it was you guys. You were a family I found in a city I knew nothing about. And that was what mattered to me."

Tony wanted to shut the video off, to tell everybody that maybe you were lying here too, pretending, but he knew it wasn't true. Your eyes shone with guilt and desperation and eyes never lie.

The video continued. "And maybe you are not even watching this video. Maybe you will never know how I actually felt and will hate me forever, but if there is even a slight chance that you are watching this, and there is a small part of you that can trust me, I want you to know what I actually think about you.

Tony, you were like a dad to me. You always looked out for me and were so damn concerned about me the whole time and I can't thank you enough. Thank you for always looking out for me and I never for a second got annoyed by you talking about tech, you might not know this but your eyes shine brighter when you are talking about your creations and I would never get tired of that. The only complaint I had for you is that you need to take care of yourself more. Stop sleeping in your lab and eating shawarma all the time in the name of food, it's not healthy. Take care of yourself, Tony, 'cause there are some people who will always need you."

Tony looked away, blinking hard so as to not let the tears roll down his cheeks. All the times when you brought him food in his lab because he hadn't left his spot for hours and then you forced him to finish it all, you didn't do it as a pretense, you did it because you genuinely cared about him.

"Nat, you're the bravest and the most badass person I know. Don't tell anyone, but you are my favorite fighter. I admire you so damn much. Who cares that you can't lift things with your mind or fly? You can kick people's asses without blinking an eye. You inspire me so much."

"Wanda, you and Nat are my best friends and I am so proud of you. After everything you've lost, gathering the courage to love again is the most courageous thing I've ever seen. You and Vis make me believe in love. Hell, I even had a speech ready for your wedding as your bridesmaid." You had a small smile on your face as if remembering something, "Now that I am not going to be there anymore, Nat, I am going to ask you to give a great speech from my side too. I know you are not a very emotion-oriented person, but please try. 'Cause Wanda deserves nothing but the best."

Wanda sniffed audibly and Nat kept a hand on her shoulder.

"Thor, prince of Asgard, Son of Odin." You said in the voice that Thor had taught you to intimate a long time ago and chuckled. "I know you are the one who stole all my pop tarts." As Thor's eyes widened, the video continued, "Don't act surprised. Why do you think I never changed the place of keeping my pop tarts even after they went missing every single week? I am not upset, nope. I don't even like those that much. I just need you to know that I won't be there to keep those tarts there. Ask J.A.R.V.I.S., he knows where I brought them from. He will tell you."

"Sam." Sam looked up from his spot as he heard his name. "I am a little upset with you. You never let me use red wig." You pouted and Sam chuckled. "But you do know that you are the funniest, smartest, and one of the most deserving people to be on the team, right? Hell, bringing you to the team was the best decision Steve ever made."

You stopped for a moment looking down at your feet, when you breathed, "Bucky." Your voice was much softer now as if his name was a prayer.

Bucky looked up into the camera, his heart beating a mile per minute. If this was all a lie too, he didn't want to know what you had to say. Even if it was actually how you felt, he wasn't sure he was ready for what you were going to say.

"I - " You stopped and took a deep breath. You looked vulnerable as if you were apart to lay your soul bare in front of you. "Bucky, I just - Whatever you heard today, it is not true. None of it. Since the day I met you, I have never been scared of you. Not for a single second. You know I don't blame you for anything that Hydra did, you have to know. I don't think you were a monster. I think you are the sweetest, kindest and bravest person I know. I wasn't lying when I told you that I trusted you with my life. I trust you, I care about you, and I - "

Bucky's breath hitched in his throat as you suddenly stopped.

"Well, there is a major chance that you're not even watching this, so .. why not? It's not like I am ever going to get a chance to say it to you. So, here it is -

I love you, Bucky. I am in love with you. I have been for a very long time now. I could tell myself that it was just a small crush and it would go away sooner or later, but who am I kidding? I want to spend every single moment of my day with you. You're the first thought that comes to my mind when I wake up and my last memory before I fall asleep. When you are around, I can't stop looking at you and when you are not, all I want to do is look at you. I know that you might never feel this way about me, especially after today, but I just had to say it once."

You took a deep breath before speaking with finality in your voice, "I just hope that one day you guys will know that it wasn't a pretense. That this team was everything to me. I found a family, a place to call home, I found love. I hope that one day you will be able to forgive me."

The video stopped and everybody bowed their heads down while Bucky just stared at the screen desperately, as if you would walk out of it.

You loved him.

You wanted to be with him and god if that thought alone wasn't the best thing that had ever happened to him. He didn't think you could love him. He had accepted the fact that he was destined to love you from afar, a love that you would never know about.

But you felt the same. He didn't have to watch you fall in love with someone else and get your happily ever after, because you wanted that to be him.

You could be his happily ever after.

Before he could let himself be hopeful, realization struck him and left him breathless.

You had said that you would never get the chance to say it to him personally. The things that you had said, the finality in your voice, it had all sounded like a ... goodbye.

He stood up abruptly, only to realize that all the eyes were on him.

Some were filled with tears, others were trying really hard to keep their emotions in check. No, no, this couldn't be. How was he supposed to live without you now that he knew that you loved him too?

Without muttering a word to anybody, he rushed out of the room, through the corridor, and towards your room. You couldn't have gone yet. No, no, he would beg you to stay, get on his knees and ask you to forgive him.

He stood outside your door for a moment, taking a deep breath, mentally preparing himself.

He brought his hand to knock on your door, only to realize that it wasn't locked.

With bated breath, he pushed the door open.

It was vacant. Everything that you had put in to make it a home, was gone.

You were gone.

✧༝┉˚*❋ ❋*˚┉༝✧✧༝┉˚*❋ ❋*˚┉༝✧✧༝┉˚*❋ ❋*˚┉༝✧✧༝┉˚*❋ ❋*˚┉༝✧✧༝┉˚*

The whole team stood in the living room, waiting.

Bucky walked in, his head shaking and arms trembling.

Nobody uttered a word as they waited for him to give words to the inevitable. He looked up, tears brimming his eyes as he whispered, "She is gone."

Everybody gasped as guilt filled them.

Only if they had trusted you.

"No, no. We cannot give up. We need to find her. I am going to find her. We cannot give up this easily." Bucky said, praying that he was right, that not everything was lost. There was still hope. There had to be.

"He is right. We can't just let her go." Wanda said, tears straining her cheeks. "There has to be a way." Sam agreed.

Tony suddenly lightened up as he took out his tablet. "We can track her. If she hasn't switched off her phone, we can find her exact location." He had enabled a tracking sensor in everyone's phone some time ago. He remembered the way you had pouted and teased him that it was an invasion of privacy, but had finally let him install it nonetheless.

He let out a sigh of relief when he realized he could still check the location of his phone. "She is heading towards the airport."

Dread filled everybody as Tony's words sank in. You were leaving. Forever.

"She is in a cab right now. I can figure out its number, but it might be too late."

"I have to go," Bucky exclaimed. "I am not going to let her go. No. I need to find her." He looked around, ready to fight anyone who came in his way.

But everybody just gave him a reassuring look as Steve whispered, "Go, get the girl, Buck."

✧༝┉˚*❋ ❋*˚┉༝✧✧༝┉˚*❋ ❋*˚┉༝✧✧༝┉˚*❋ ❋*˚┉༝✧✧༝┉˚*❋ ❋*˚┉༝✧✧༝┉˚*

You looked through the window as the city lights bristled by.

Your cheeks were still stained with tears as you left behind the place you had called home.

But there was no other option. Your parents had left you with no other choice.

It hurt that they had actually been successful in their mind games, but there was nothing you could do. Your parents had taken from you, the best part of your life.

You were going to miss the city, the team, and your friends, but there was one person you were going to miss the most.

Leaving him was like leaving a part of your behind and you knew that Bucky Barnes was always going to have a piece of your heart, even if he didn't know about it.

You swallowed the lump in your throat as the cab came to an abrupt, sudden stop.

The cab driver looked back at you before asking, "Ma'am, are you okay."

You nodded your head before asking, "Are you?" After he nodded, you continued, "What happened?" "A man just rushed his bike past us, way beyond the speeding limit, and then stopped it right before us, in the middle of the bridge."

You frowned as you looked in front of the cab.

Your breath hitched in your throat as you recognized the bike and the man getting down from it.

"Bucky." You breathed before opening the cab door, against the driver's protests, your legs on autopilot.

When your eyes met Bucky's, you could see him visibly relaxing with relief.

"Bucky, what are you - " You exclaimed against the sound of the wind.

He got down from his bike and started walking towards you quickly. "Doll, how could you?"

Your heart skipped a beat at the nickname before you lowered your head. Of course, he hated you after what had happened. He didn't trust you.

You looked up to realize that he was a couple of feet distance from you now. You opened your mouth, apologies about to come tumbling from your lips when you were cut off by him.

You gasped in shock as Bucky closed the little distance between the both of you, pressing his lips to yours, in a gentle, yet desperate kiss, as if he was drowning and only the feeling of your lips could bring him back to the shore.

When the surprise finally washed off, you brought your hands to his chest as his led down to your waist, and you kissed him back. You didn't understand what was happening. But if it was goodbye, you wanted it to last forever.

When the necessity to breathe arose, Bucky pulled back but stood close.

He leaned in and touched your forehead with his before closing his eyes.

You breathed him in. He smelled of fresh coffee and pine. He smelled like home.

"How could you leave me, doll? Without even saying anything. Not even a goodbye?" He tried to be upset with you. But who was he kidding? You could stab him through his chest and he would still thank you.  

Tears brimmed your eyes as you took in a deep breath, you wanted to savor this moment. "Buck, I - I am sorry. Whatever my parents said today, it was a lie. A huge lie. I wanted to tell you, but - "

"It's okay, doll. I trust you. But, I - I need to ask you something." He took a deep breath, already dreading your answer to the question he was about to ask. "Did you mean it?"

"Of course, I didn't. None of it. I don't blame you for anything, Bucky. I am not scared of you. I have never been."

"That's not." Bucky closed his eyes shut, praying that he could word his feelings correctly. "We - we saw the video."

Your eyes widened as realization struck you. He knew.

You had stupidly confessed all your feelings on a video. What were you thinking? He would be so embarrassed right now but you couldn't back out now.

"Buck, I - I do love you. That is the truth. But you don't have to say anything. I understand if you don't - "

Before you could finish your sentence, Bucky brought his fingers under your chin to make you look up at him before leaning in to press his lips against yours once again.

Hope swelled in your chest as you brought your arms to encircle his neck and kissed him back.

He pulled away a little too quickly to look up at you with a small smile on his face. The look in his eyes made butterflies erupt in your tummy with a ferocity you had never felt before.

"I love you too, doll. I do. With everything that I have. I love you and I am so so sorry that I didn't give you a chance to explain. I am so sorry that I didn't trust you.

I never told you this because I - I am not good enough for you, doll. I don't deserve you."

You shook your head, about to correct him, when he continued, "And I think I still don't. Being with you puts you in so much danger too, maybe I shouldn't even be with you. But I am tired of pretending that I don't want to. I am tired of pretending like I don't want to spend every single moment for the rest of my life with you. So, if you'll allow me, doll, I'll spend the rest of my life, trying to be the man you can proudly call yours 'cause I love you so damn much."

Tears were now flowing down your cheeks for a completely different reason. You leaned in to kiss him again when the both of you were interrupted by the cab driver shouting from the cab, growing impatient, "Madam, do you want to go or not?"

Bucky looked at you with hopeful eyes and you turned back to yell to the driver, "Never"

[sweetandgentlecreature]

First Light

Author’s Note: Hey, y’all! Me again! In this installation of Somethin’ Sweet, we’re back to Sy’s point of view. Grab some tissues and join me in my sad girl era. As always, thanks for stopping by! 

Summary: Sy’s up early prepping for deployment and can’t help but relive the events from the night before. 

Pairing: Captain Syverson x Female OC 

Warnings:  sexual content; nipple play, p-in-v intercourse, descriptions of male and female anatomy, explicit language, and adult themes. I am an adult, and due to the nature of this content, all works created by me will be rated for those 18 years and older. Minors, DNI.

Playlist

It never rains in Texas, but it did on the morning of Sy’s inevitable departure. Heavy clouds hung low in the sky as an early morning fog rolled in through the treeline. Bright, angry streaks of lightning raced across the sky and casted shadows through the room. A loud crash of thunder shook the old tin roof and startled him awake. In his moment of panic, Sy sat up straight and knocked the headboard into the wall behind the bed with a loud crack. It took him a second to recognize his surroundings in the dark, but once he did, he breathed a sigh of relief. A quick glance at the alarm clock on the nightstand beside him made his shoulders drop. 4:45am. Sy reached out and turned it off, as not to disturb his lover tucked so sweetly beneath the quilt beside him. That girl could sleep through a hurricane. A little fall of rain wouldn’t bother her much. Leaving over, he kissed the top of her head and lingered there, but only for a moment. Long enough to memorize the way she smelled. Honeysuckle and vanilla. Fuck, he’ll miss her.

Sy moved to plant his feet on the floor and ran a hand down his tired face. The last two weeks have been…a little less than ideal. It was his fault, really. He’d gotten the orders to ship out almost a month ago, but waited a while to tell her about them. He didn’t know what to say or how to say it. Things were just getting good here. Things were still so fun and new, but as always, Uncle Sam had other plans for him. 

The first person he told was his mama. When he did, she barely flinched. Sy made the third generation of Syverson men who’d stormed courageously into war. His daddy served in Vietnam, his papaw in World War II. When duty called, they answered. It wasn’t easy, watching him walk out the door, never knowing if he’ll make it home again, but she’d made peace with it by now. “What good does it do fer me ta’ worry? Either you’ll come back, or ya wont. It’s in the Lord’s hands now.”  

Sy trod lightly off to the bathroom to start the shower. The room filled with steam, just enough to fog the mirror as stood beneath the steady stream and let it run over his head. Staring down at his feet, he let the water consume him. Heavy drops clung to his lashes, but he didn’t bother to blink them away. His mind was somewhere else. With someone else.  

__

Sy had always been a steak-and-potatoes kinda guy, but he’d barely touched his plate. Every bite felt too heavy in his stomach, like he’d traded out his ribeye for a hunk of lead instead. She’d spent so much time cooking for him, springing for only the best of meat and the freshest produce the grocery store had to offer. The least he could do was clear his plate. Lord knew when he’d get another meal like this again. 

Once he’d managed to choke it down, he stood and started grabbing dishes to take to the sink, but she stopped him quickly. She’d barely said a word all night, and her interjection almost startled him. “No, baby,” she whispered, taking the plate from his hands. “Let me get those.”

Merrin kept her back to him as she filled the kitchen sink with hot, soapy water. Steam fogged the window above as she drifted off in thought. She was a million miles away from here, swimming in regret and longing for just a little more time. There was so much to do, so much to say, but the words never came out right. She hadn’t even realized she was crying until the tears began to blur her vision. Closing her eyes, she gave in and let them spill down her face. She’d fought so hard to keep her distance. To brace herself for the inevitable. In the end, she’d fallen hard. Harder than she’d ever expected to; head over heels and still tumbling. She braced herself against the sink and let her head hang low, covering her mouth to muffle the sobs that bubbled up from her trembling chest.

When a hand reached out to touch her shoulder, she gasped. Looking up again, Merrin stared into the reflection of his eyes in the pane of glass before them. Calloused fingertips brushed her hair to the side, then traced along the side of her delicate throat. His voice was low and deep, a rumbling baritone pressed against her back as he broke the silence. 

“I’m not gone yet. Gimme one more night. Just one more night, alone with you.” 

Merrin sniffled softly, wiped her eyes with the back of her hand and nodded. From there, Sy wasted no time. Most of the dishes made it into the sink, but a broken glass was the last thing on his mind when he placed her onto the countertop. Shoving his way between her open knees, his lips were hot and harsh as they crashed into hers. If she didn’t know any better, she might think he was angry with her. In truth, Sy was angry; angry at their situation, angry at the world, but not at her. Never at her. 

He grabbed her up, one hand on the back of the neck and the other wrapped around her thigh, squeezing with a force hard enough to leave a bruise. The pain turned into pleasure, the aggression turned to lust, and Merrin returned the favor with shared fervor. She wasn’t scared of him. On the contrary, she relished in his smothering presence, digging perfectly manicured nails into the meat of his shoulder as she drew him in just as close. Her mouth worked with his in a haphazard clash of teeth and tongue. Even in the mess, there was still beauty to be found. She was soft and sweet where he was rough and hungry. A yin to a yang, souls intertwined as one.

His shirt hit the floor first, and her sundress followed soon after. Merrin grabbed him by the belt and yanked until his hips pressed sharply into her own. They worked together to loosen the buckle and pop the button beneath it, ripping it from the loops and tossing it away to clatter to the floor. Rough hands came up to cup her breasts, bare and warm, a perfect fit for each palm. He squeezed gently and smirked against her neck, relishing in her pleads for more.

“Clay,” she whispered, clinging to him as he dropped his head to nuzzle against one hardened nipple, then the other. Always one to please, he licked his lips and welcomed one into his mouth. He took his time, gazing up through thick lashes as he moved from one breast to the other. She looked like an angel, basking in the glow of the sunset that poured in around her. But Merrin was no saint, far from it, and couldn’t stand his temptation for long. She let a hand fall between them to meet the bulge in his jeans and palmed it gently. She could almost feel the ache beneath the distressed denim; a steady, throbbing need that seeked relief that only she could provide. The words came before she could stop them. “Fuck me, Clay.”

Sy mumbled a gruff “Yes ma’am” into the flesh of her breasts and tugged himself free from his boxers. Never one to keep his lady waiting, he hooked a finger into the gusset of her panties and pulled them to the side. The sight of her wet heat made his mouth water. Any other time, he’d drop to his knees right then and there to have his fill, but it wasn’t what they needed the most right now. Right now, he needed to be inside of her, just as much as she needed to feel him there. He held the base of his erection and traced the swollen head through her folds, mouth agape and almost drooling as his eyes rolled to the back of his head in ecstasy. 

“Fuck, honey. So wet for me.” 

She gasped when the tip of his cock caught at her slick opening. The delicious burn from the stretch she felt as he pushed forward inside of her stole the breath from her lungs. They both watched as he crossed the threshold and buried himself deep inside of her. Breathy moans and whimpers of lust echoed through the room, and Sy took a moment to let her catch her breath again. 

“Fuck, baby…”

She met his gaze once more, eyes wide and full of fire as she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him down for another kiss. Sy tangled his fingers in the hair at the nape of her neck, choosing to indulge her for a while, until he just couldn’t take it anymore. His retreat was nice and slow, but he didn’t pull out all of the way. Tugging her head back roughly, he buried his face in the crook of her neck and relished in the way she tensed around him. Nipping at her throat, he growled against her pulse and smirked. “So tight, honey. I’m not gonna last long.” 

She answered with the rake of her nails down his back, leaving tender, pink lines in their wake, then dug them into the flesh of his bare ass. Shoving herself back onto his cock, she groaned loudly. 

“Don’t tease me, Clay. I need you.”

That was all the encouragement he needed. With a harsh thrust of his hips, he bottomed out completely. Sy held her down by the waist as he took what he wanted from her. In and out, over and over, he pounded into her with a fervor she’d never seen before. Their lust was wild and sinful as he stood there at the counter and fucked her into a mindless mess. A familiar tightness built somewhere deep in her gut, and before she could warn him, she was coming undone. Her eyes filled with tears, filled with so much emotion, then spilled down her cheeks in hot, furious streams. 

It didn’t stop there. He had her again on the couch, and again against the front door, then once more upstairs in their room. The bed creaked under their shifting weight. Sweat poured from his face as he held one of her legs over his shoulder. Merrin clung to the sheets beneath her as he approached another climax. Just when she thought she couldn’t handle any more, he proved her wrong. 

“Come on, sugar,” he begged, wiped his brow with the back of his hand and picked up the pace. “Gimme one more. Just one more.”

He’d been saying that for hours, but this time, he was telling the truth. His muscles ached and cramped, his body pleaded with him to give it up, but he was determined to make this a night to remember. He’d be gone for God knows how long; he wanted to make sure she’d had her fill before he left. Sy kept his promise and within seconds, he crashed over the edge of climax right along with her. Chests heaving and voices hoarse, they rode out their highs together and collapsed into a heap of tangled limbs. Sy stared up at the ceiling as he fought to regain composure and felt her curl up against his side.  “Shit.”

“Yeah. Me too.”

Merrin held up a hand up and they smacked palms, victorious in their conquest. All qualms were forgotten, at least for a little while. 

“High five.”

“Good sex.”

__

Standing at the sink, a towel wrapped around his waist, Sy stared at himself in the mirror. He scratched at his chin and turned his head from side to side, then flipped the switch on the side of the clippers. The first pass up the underside of his chin took off most of the length. He dusted a tuft of fuzz from the guards and let it fall into the basin before him. Sy made quick work of taking it all off, then grabbed the shaving cream to smooth over the stubble left behind. He moved with a surgeon's precision, each drag of the razor taking away the foam and leaving baby-smooth skin behind. Once he was finished, he bent down and filled his hands with warm water to wash his face. Just as he reached for the aftershave in the medicine cabinet, two delicate arms wrapped around his middle and squeezed gently. He brought one of them up and pressed her knuckles to his lips, kissing them as he spoke.

“What’re you doin’ up?”

Merrin yawned against his back and nuzzled her face there. Her eyes were heavy with the sleep that she just couldn’t shake. He reached back to run his fingers through her hair, twirling and twisting strands of amber around calloused fingertips as they stood in a shared silence. She raked her nails through the hair on his chest and dug them into hardened flesh, putting up a weak fight to keep him there for just a little while longer. “Couldn’t sleep,” was all she said as another roll of thunder echoed somewhere off in the distance. Sy glanced back at her from over his shoulder and found her staring up at him. She traced his cheekbone and down to the line of his jaw, mesmerized by the clean-shaven stranger who stood before her now. 

“Most men grow a beard to hide their faces. You, though…” she pressed her thumb into the dimple on his chin. “You’ve got nothing to hide.” 

She left him there with a gentle pat to the chest, then turned to head back into the bedroom. He watched her as she went, wearing nothing but the cheeky little splash of ink that was tatted across the dimples on her lower back and the panties that rested beneath them. A drunken mistake from Spring Breaks of old, left to peak from beneath low-rise jeans as a reminder of wilder days. Sy chuckled to himself and shook his head. He could hardly handle her now; if they’d met back then, he could only imagine the trouble she’d get him into. She’d have eaten him alive. 

__

To his dismay, traffic was fairly light on their way to the airport. The skies above were a dusty shade of blue, vast and empty as the rising sun chased away the rain. Fields of wheat and grain blurred past on either side as they left their sleepy little town in the rear view. Sy drove with one hand on the wheel and the other resting in her lap. Every now and then he’d hold her thigh, knead and squeeze, then cut his eyes from the road and over to her in silent reassurance. Every radio station from here to Houston seemed to play nothing but love songs, and each one salted the wound just a little bit more. Merrin tried to surf from station to station, genre to genre, but eventually gave up, so they rode in silence instead. 

Sy didn’t mind the quiet. It felt more honest than anything he could say now. “It’ll be alright, honey.” “We’ll write every day.” “I’ll be home before you know it.” He couldn’t guarantee anything, and they both knew that. 

Once they’d made it past security, Sy found a bench to sit on and dropped his bag at his feet. When he looked over to her, she was staring off somewhere in the distance, a million miles away again. To her, this felt like punishment. Like the universe had nothing better to do than shit on the best relationship she’d ever had. Karma had finally caught up to her, and this was how she was meant to pay for her transgressions. 

“This isn’t fair.”

Clayton sighed and took her hand into his. “I’m sorry, darlin’. Life isn’t–” She cut him off. 

“Don’t you dare tell me that life isn’t fair. I know life isn’t fair. This is…” Merrin shook her head. “This is cruel.” 

He tried to smile, to crack a joke, to lighten the mood, but one look at her shut it all down. She was right. He’d been on the verge of hanging it up, of finally giving in and taking that cushy desk job at base to be closer to his mama, but his pride had gotten in the way. He knew he had at least one more deployment in him. One more, and he’d give it up for good. He just wasn’t expecting it to be so soon. 

Everything had changed, now that he had Merrin. She was everything that he wasn’t. Gentle, but not easy to mislead; Stubborn, but only when necessary;  Kind-hearted to those in need; and so fucking sweet. Now, he fought for her. If this it took to keep her safe, he’d do it in a heartbeat. Now, he had someone worth fighting for.

Wrapping her up tightly, Sy held her to his chest and buried his face in her hair. He pressed a fierce kiss to the top of her head and let his eyes close for a moment. They held each other just like that until his flight was called. Then they walked the Green Mile all the way down to the gate, where he pulled her aside and took her hands into both of his. His eyes searched hers desperately in a last ditch effort to commit them to memory. Shades of blue and green, specks of gold around the iris, as wild as the tide and as vast as the sea. When he kissed her, it was deep and lascivious. He didn’t care who saw. Fuck ‘em. Let them look. Sy broke his kiss and pressed his forehead to hers, dug the end of his crooked nose into her cheek and breathed her in for as long as he could. 

“I love you, Merrin Paige. More than you’ll ever know.” 

His words stole the breath from her chest. Three little words she never expected to hear him say. Three little words that paralyzed her, right where she stood. He kissed her cheek one last time, grabbed his bags, and headed off to catch his flight. Merrin watched from the window as the plane taxied at the end of the runway. A light drizzle began to sputter outside, just enough to blur her vision as the plane disappeared high into the clouds. Just like that, he was gone. 

It never rains in Texas, but it did on the morning of Sy’s inevitable departure. It never rains in Texas, and today, Merrin hated the rain. 

__

Far from home, Sy checked his watch as he waited for the line to ring. Static crackled in his ear as he cradled the phone between his head and his shoulder. 2pm in Baqubah; 10pm in Houston. If he was right, she’d still be up. Probably curled up in bed with a book, one of those dirty little romances she liked so much. Leaning back in his chair, he stretched and moaned. If Texas was hot, then this was hell. 

Then, a click. The old desk chair groaned when he sat up straight. He listened for a moment, waiting for someone to answer, then checked the signal to make sure that the call had gone through. Fuck. Don’t let it be the answering machine. 

“Sy?” a sweet voice chirped over the static. He sighed, relieved, and smiled widely at the sound of his name. 

“Yeah, baby,” he breathed. “It's me. How’s it–”

She cut him off. What she had to say couldn’t wait. 

“I love you too.” 

__

Taglist: @geralts-yenn @peyton-warren @kingliam2019 @uunotheangel @deandoesthingstome @drewharrisonwriter @foxyjwls007 @melissareadsstuff @totalwool @summersong69 @caramariehurst @niallhorwen @warriormirkwoodkwood @mairablue @omgkatinka @evansabove1981 @liveoncoffeeandflowersss @enchantedbytomandhenry

[digitaldiarystuff]

I Can’t Let You Move On

i really don’t know how i feel about this one🥺 but hope you enjoy and lmk what you think

————

pairing: Trent Alexander Arnold x Y/N

summary: Trent is your ex and when he sees you with your new boyfriend, his possessiveness gets the best of him

genre: angst (asshole trent which we love)

————

“I think I just saw Tyler.” Anne screamed over the loud music for you to hear.

“What?” you asked in shock. “Tyler as in…”

“Tyler as in Trent’s brother Tyler.” she clarified and your blood pressure dropped immediately with the mention of his name. You haven’t heard it in a while.

Anne looked at you with concern in her eyes and was about to say something when you were interrupted.

“Hey ladies, here are your drinks.” Jack said in a cheery manner.

Jack was your boyfriend of 2 months and it was going well, he treated you good and was head over heels for you.

And Trent… Trent Alexander Arnold was your ex. He was your first real boyfriend but sadly, his life only consisted of his football and home and you could never get him out of his shell. You tried to make your relationship more enjoyable for the both of you but your attempts were unsuccessful because Trent never liked to go out. This wasn’t enough to end a relationship of course but soon, you started feeling like he wasn’t even trying to do things you’d enjoy and his lack of effort put an end to it all. The break up was heartbreaking and petty and you haven’t spoken to him since. This was nearly a year ago and Jack came in to fill the void of Trent, though he was seriously lacking in some parts but you could never admit it to yourself.

You grabbed your drink from Jack and started looking around to see if your worst nightmare was happening, Jack and Trent coming in contact. Surely, he wouldn’t be here, right?

“I think someone’s in the VIP section. Do you want me to go over there and check?” Anne asked once you were far from Jack.

Anne always understood you better than yourself and you didn’t even have to ask her. You quickly nodded and off she went. You shouldn’t care if Trent’s here or not, you mumbled to yourself. You are not with him.

Anne quickly came back and sadly informed you that all of Trent’s mates were in the closed off section but she couldn’t see him.

“Maybe he didn’t come, you know how he is.” she tried reassuring you.

“Yeah, maybe.” you said.

“Let’s go dance.”

You grabbed Jack and pulled him into the dance floor hoping to get your mind off Trent. You didn’t even care because you were in a happy relationship and nothing can change that. Song after song you danced with Jack swaying your hips to the rhythm and he was having the time of his life while holding you close but soon, your phone started going off. It was your mom.

“I’ll be right back.” you quickly said and stepped out the club to answer. The street was quieter than usual.

“Yes mom, I’m out now but I’ll text you when I’m at home. Okay love you too.” you hung up the phone and enjoyed the chilly weather on your skin. It felt so much better than inside.

“Look who it is.” you heard a voice you could never erase from your memory. It was Trent.

You turned your head to the side and spotted the man making his way towards you. There was a wide smirk displayed on his lips. You haven’t seen or heard from him in a year and now there he was, in all his glory. He looked devastatingly handsome and as much as you hated yourself for it, you couldn’t help but check him out and he realized. This only made him smirk harder, he stood less than a meter away from you.

“Trent” you flatly said.

“I see you’re here with someone” he said nonchalantly but it sounded more like a question. You were shocked that he was going straight to the point.

“Yeah I am” you simply said not wanting to get into it. Were you trying to hide the fact that you had a boyfriend or were you mad at Trent for asking an intrusive question?

“Well, it’s going to be hard on him.” he teasingly said and you furrowed your brows. He leaned against the wall of the club while you stood straight across.

“What?”

“When you realize he’s nothing compared to what you used to have, you’ll end this little first date and poor mate will be crushed.”

You were starting to get annoyed seeing his smug face. You always knew Trent was a little full of himself but he was trying to imply your relationship will end soon which made you mad.

“Actually, he’s not my date.”

He looked your way encouraging you to finish what you were saying.

“He’s my boyfriend Trent.”

You expected him to get mad, yell or simply leave but his response was more insulting than anything. He just started laughing and it seemed genuine which made you even madder.

“It’s cute.” he said in after his laugh slowed down. “How you try to replace me with him.”

“I’m not trying to replace you, I’ve just moved on” you said but suddenly felt the need to hurt him for not taking you seriously. “And honestly, it wasn’t that hard.” you added just to spite him and it worked. Trent’s demeanor made a complete 180 and his smile disappeared.

“You’re lying to yourself Y/N and you know it.”

“No Trent I think you’re lying to yourself, you thought I could never get over you but all it took was a few dates with different guys. I found the one I’m looking for.” you knew you were being mean but he deserved it after talking to you the way that he did.

He was getting angry and you could tell, he slowly came close and stopped so there wasn’t much space between you looking into your eyes with so much intensity. You wanted to act tough and show him you really meant what you said but him being this close to you did wonders. You could feel his breath on your face and he knew you better than yourself. Your heart was beating a mile a minute and you were shaking slightly, Trent’s existence always had this effect on you.

“Keep telling yourself that.” he smirked. “Maybe it’ll come true.”

He turned away to go in but this time, you didn’t let him.

“Why are you trying to ruin this for me?” you asked with clear desperation in your voice and Trent turned back around.

“I’m not”

“Yes you are, I’m finally moving on and here you are trying to remind me you exist. What, is this just a sick game for you?” you couldn’t even comprehend his antics.

He examined your face with such an intense look and once again walked over to you in the nearly empty street. His face was humorless and even a little scary.

“No, this is not a fucking game Y/N. None of this is fun for me, believe me. You belong with me, you know you can’t move on. Maybe this makes me toxic I don’t care I can’t let you move on, you’ll always be mine and you know I’ll always be yours.”

You were too stunned to speak with his sudden confession, you didn’t expect his possessive side to come out like this but every word he muttered was being engraved in your head and deep down, you knew he was telling the truth.

You couldn’t move on, neither could he. You belonged with each other and there was nothing you could do to change that.

[mackjlee9]

SingleFather!Leon Kennedy x Male!Reader [Fluff]

Warning; set a year after infinite darkness, mentions of cancer, mentions of death.

Masterlist.

Resident Evil ID

Hearing his phone ring was the last thing he expected when he got out of the shower ready for bed. A call so late at night only meant another mission. He had just come back less than two hours ago, can't he rest for a little bit longer?

(M/n) sighed as his phone continued ringing and he picked it up, leaving the speaker while he got dressed, ready to go out, not realizing who was calling.

"(M/n), I need your help," he blinked and halted his movements, his jeans pulled up to his hips but still undone.

"Leon?" He asked while grabbing his phone, realizing that yeah, it was Leon the one who was calling him, "Are you okay? Did something happen?"

(M/n) grabbed his black shirt, and began buttoning it up, fixing his jeans when he was done.

"Yeah, I'm fine, it's just-" he heard ruffling on the side of the call, followed by a door closing and Leon's deep sigh, "I got called on another mission and I... I didn't know who to call other than you, but-" now he was rambling.

"Leon, it's alright, that's what friends are for, right?" He didn't wait for a response from Leon, he continued talking, "What do you need?" (M/n) sat on the bed and put on his socks, reaching for his combat boots and tying them.

"Yeah, you're right, uh..." Leon took a deep breath and (M/n) grab his phone, walking out of his room, "Something happened and I can't leave the house alone so I wanted to ask if you... Could stay over till I come back?" (M/n) frowned and grabbed the duffel bag he always had ready to go, something he learned he needed to have with the course of the years.

Leon heard the clinking sound (M/n)'s keys made and he sighed, "Sure, no problem, I'll be there in ten minutes-" he walked out of the house when he made sure every light was turned off, and walked to his motorcycle, "Maybe five, actually," he said with a chuckle when he realized just how late it was, everything was quiet, "See ya, Lee."

Followed by a 'see you in a few', they hung up and (M/n) secured the duffle bag strap across his chest, put on his helmet, and started the engine.

//////

The ride to Leon's house was roughly five minutes long, and there he was. (M/n) parked his bike in the garage, where Leon was waiting for him, his own duffel bag next to his red Ducati. He got off his bike and was immediately hugged by Leon, catching him off-guard and making his heart pound like crazy in his chest.

"Thank you, (M/n), I know you just back from a mission yourself, and I'm suddenly asking you to stay at my house-," (M/n) held Leon's shoulder, making him make eye contact with his (e/c) eyes.

"Hey, I've told you time and time before, Lee, I'll be here whenever you need me, always," Leon slowly calmed himself, and nodded with a small smile on his face, placing his hands on (M/n)'s wrist as he released his grip, "Now... Did you get a puppy or something?"

Oh, maybe I shouldn't have said that, Leon looked conflicted again, looking away nervously and biting his bottom lip. His blue eyes looked into (M/n)'s who was confused once again, and after a few seconds he sighed in defeat, "It's more complicated than that, (M/n). Come with me..."

Frowning slightly, (M/n) followed Leon inside his house, walking through the kitchen and to the living room, where he stopped when Leon did, glancing back at him for a moment.

"Drew, come here, please," he called loud enough and sighed. Both of them waited, but (M/n) wasn't expecting to see a little boy. Not only that, he was an exact replica of Leon himself, only... As a kid. The only significant difference was that Drew had light brown colored eyes, they were almost golden.

It didn't take long for (M/n) to put two and two together.

"Drew, this is (M/n)," The sound of Leon saying his name brought him back to reality, and he showed a small smile at the boy, waving his hand at him, watching him do the same with a smile of his own, showing the faint dimples on his cheeks, "He's a close friend of mine, and he'll take care of you while I'm gone."

"Nice to meet you, sir," his cute voice melted (M/n)'s heart, and he found himself smiling more at him.

"Well, it's nice to meet you too, Drew," the little boy giggled and hugged Leon's leg, hiding behind him and pulling on his jeans. Leon looked down at him, and watched Drew making grabby hands at him, he smiled and leaned down to pick the boy up in his arms.

"You're sleepy?" Drew yawned with a nod and reach his hand up to scratch his eyes, Leon looked at (M/n) who was just silently looking at them, a shine in his eyes that made Leon blush and glance back at his son, "Okay, let's get you to bed, then."

While waiting for Leon to come back, (M/n) sat down on the couch and tried to analyze the situation the best he could with no information whatsoever. He couldn't interrogate Leon about this and he didn't want to, but he couldn't help but remember how Leon had told him that he's only had one serious relationship in his life.

Out of peripheral vision, he saw Leon walking back to the living room and he stood up, "Lee," well, now he couldn't leave without telling (M/n) about this, "So... What's the story?"

Leon checked his watch, he had twenty minutes to spare before he absolutely had to leave. He sighed and beckoned him to sit down on the couch together, taking a deep breath before proceeding to tell (M/n) everything that had happened while he was out on his vacation.

//////

Leon had walked into this cozy and comfy-looking café, he had been walking around the beautiful and calm town, and he was getting quite hungry, and well, the desserts on display were everything he needed to convince himself to walk in.

He quickly order what caught his eye, along with a black coffee, and sat down on the farthest seat available, completely out of habit. While he waited for his order to arrive or get called to get it, he checked his phone for a while, just to make sure he didn't get any new mission like it always happens when he's out on vacation.

"Uhm... Excuse me?" He got pulled out of his trance, looking up and making eye contact with a woman, he blinked a few times, confused. He knew this woman.

"Mikayla?" He mumbled, watching how she showed him a weak smile and nodded, taking a few breathes and feeling her legs trembling, "Oh, sit down," Leon stood up from his seat to help her, watching her trying to smile at him but groaning in response, "I guess it would be impolite of I ask you what's wrong."

She laugh a bit, getting comfortable in her seat.

"I was gonna tell you anyway," she tried to make light of the situation, which did work for a moment, and then she tried to formulate her next sentence, "Leon, I... I have cancer," he was left speechless, and it was the only appropriate thing he could do, "It's terminal and, I'm on the last stretch," she chuckled with tears in her once bright golden eyes, "And I have to confess something to you..."

Leon reached for her hand, gently wrapping his warm hands around her cold ones, trying to give her some reassurance, "What is it?"

Mikayla's eyes filled with tears as she stared into Leon's blue ones, filled with concern.

"You have a son."

Unable to understand this new information, Leon sputtered, "Are you sure... He's mine?"

The woman smiled, understanding why he would be skeptical of this claim, so she looked around in her wallet for a picture of her son. Their son. Leon couldn't deny it the moment he saw the picture, he looked just like him when he was a kid.

"He turned four a few days ago," the memories of the night they met flashed through his mind. They had a passing romance back in 2003 and they agreed on breaking it up when he had to leave back home, if only he had kept in contact with her-, "Don't blame yourself, Leon, I knew about it before you left, and... I couldn't tell you."

Leon took a deep breath, still staring at the photo in his hand, shortly after handing it back to Mikayla.

"There's something else, isn't there?" She nodded and took a deep breath, proceeding to explain everything to him.

//////

"She was in her last month of life, and she didn't have anyone to take care of Drew, so... She asked me if I could take care of him after she dies, and..." Leon stopped playing with his fingers to look up at (M/n), who had been listening in complete silence, "I wasn't gonna let him go through what I went through when my parents died, I couldn't do that to him."

(M/n) wrapped his arm around Leon's shoulder, squeezing it to reassure him that everything was okay.

"I'm just surprised you didn't call me earlier, I could've helped," Leon glanced up at (M/n), shaking his head slightly and leaning closer to rest his head on his shoulder, his nose gracing (M/n)'s neck.

"I meant to tell you sooner, but..." His hands gripped (M/n)'s shirt tightly, making the (h/c) haired male worry, reaching his hand to gently hold Leon's face, making him look up at him, "I didn't know how to, sorry, (M/n)."

It was hard to resist the urge to kiss Leon right then and there, but he managed, breaking their eye contact by messing his brown locks with a chuckle, hearing him groan and push away from him.

Leon was about to complain about it, but he saw (M/n) standing up and walking to the door, and he was remained that he had to leave for who knows how long.

"Come on, Superman, you have a city to save, don't you?" Leon chuckled at the nickname, walking to the door as well, grabbing his keys.

"Who're you calling Superman?" Leon opened the door and was about to step out, when he felt (M/n)'s arms wrapping around his waist from behind, the touch making his skin feel like it was on fire. He stayed silent and completely still, feeling (M/n) nuzzling on his neck and taking a few deep breaths, "(M/n)?"

"Take care of yourself, Lee. Please."

There was something else in his words, something that meant more than what he said, something that made Leon's heart beat faster inside his chest. (M/n) gave one last tight squeeze before letting him go. Leon turned around, thanking the cool air of the night helping him hide the pink color on his face.

"I always do."

Leon couldn't hold himself back, taking a step forward and hugging (M/n). They stayed like that for a few minutes until Leon's phone started ringing.

"Duty calls, eh?" They pulled back while Leon nodded, smiling at (M/n), muttering an 'I'll be back soon' before running to his bike and pulling it out of the garage along with his bag, watching the door close down slowly.

(M/n) waved Leon goodbye as he got on his bike, the engine coming to life, and securing his helmet on his head, waving back before driving away.

Walking back inside once the bike disappeared in the horizon, (M/n) turned off the lights and slowly walked to the couch, making a quick bed with the cushions, and laying down on it. His eyes slowly became accustomed to the darkness, and he found himself staring at nothing in particular, lost in thought.

"How soon can soon be?"

[eddiemunsonw]

Your presence is a gift

Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader

Summary: After announcing your engagement to your boyfriend at Steve's birthday party, Eddie quite literally vanishes from your life. Just yours, though. You miss him terribly and when you run into him again two years later yet again at Steve's birthday party, you ask him for clarity.

CW/Disclaimer: A bit of angst with a happy ending I suppose?

Author's note: This fic came to life after seeing a silly text. I've put the image at the end. :)

Words: 4209

Time flies when you’re having fun, right? That’s what they say. Well, time also flies when you’re not having fun. Unless you’re in an excruciatingly painful disaster, then it’ll feel like you can feel every second painfully ticking by. For you, it felt like a combination of both. 

Every day, he was on your mind. Eddie Munson. Someone you used to consider one of your closest friends. Up until two years ago, you used to hang out several days a week, a little less once you got a boyfriend but you never thought it would change this drastically. To think you hadn’t seen his face in so long felt impossible to you. 

The last time you had seen him had been at Steve’s birthday party two years ago. Since you were sitting on the same stool you sat back then, you couldn’t help but think of him. Honestly, the whole environment reminded you of him. After all, you spent many nights with him, Steve and others here. Playing games, watching movies, talking until the sun came peeking through the trees again. You watched absentmindedly as Steve busied himself with entertaining his guests, occasionally glancing at you with mild concern. You told him you were fine, he just didn’t buy it. Oh well.

You knew it had been quick when you announced your engagement, you had only been dating Trent for about… four months? But he went down on one knee and you were always bad at saying no. Trent insisted on sharing it at Steve’s birthday party. You didn’t exactly want to take the attention away from Steve, but Trent… Well, sometimes it was just easier to agree than not to. Steve had been shocked, but happy for you. Eddie had been… Eddie. And yet he had been nothing like him at all. From being the life of the party he had gone instantly silent, gazing into his glass that he never ended up finishing. He congratulated you eventually, after asking you if you loved him, Trent. And you told him yes. Because who would marry someone who they didn’t love, right? Right.

The year after that, Eddie hadn’t attended Steve’s birthday. Supposedly he was sick but you knew he was simply avoiding you. Steve’s face never held many secrets from you and you could tell that the reason he gave you wasn’t a real one. Your husband had been sitting next to you, indifferent to it all. He frankly found it a little annoying that you were still so hung up over Eddie no longer being your… friend? Was that what it was? It felt like you had lost much more than a friend. 

And that was that. No sign of Eddie since. He canceled on your get togethers, even the group ones, always claimed he was busy with the band which, for some time, seemed like a valid reason considering they were doing pretty well nowadays. However, all of that belief went out the window when you discovered that he did in fact still meet up with his friends. With Steve. Just not with you. Steve didn’t want to meddle, told you that you two should probably talk but Eddie made it impossible. Even when Steve tried to create an ‘accidental run-in’ between you two, Eddie figured it out before you even could arrive and had already bolted. 

You forced yourself to accept that Eddie, for whatever reason, had decided he didn’t want to see you anymore. Maybe he needed time… or something. You couldn’t fathom why, not even when Trent exclaimed that ‘that weirdo’ had probably been waiting to get into your pants and when he realized he couldn’t, he had no more interest in being your ‘friend’. That remark had probably resulted in the biggest fight between you and Trent. Things had felt different after. Though looking back on it, things had never felt good in the first place. It had all just felt… expected and how it should be.

Despite everything, despite Trent’s obvious annoyance, you still sent Eddie a wedding invite. You missed him, you missed your friend more than you thought you could ever miss him. Sometimes, when you had a little too much to drink, you wondered whether there had been more. What if Eddie in fact did have… a desire to get into your pants. What if it wasn’t just a sexual desire. What if Eddie…

It never went much further than that. Eddie being in love with you was such a foreign concept to your brain that you couldn’t even entertain the thought. Not after dealing with your one-sided feelings for him for years. Not after seeing him kiss and take home whoever he felt like over and over and never once looking in your direction. Surely he would have considered you an option if it had been like that.

So, you had invited your friend. Asked Steve whether Eddie had brought it up with him or not. To which Steve responded that Eddie no longer wanted to talk about you. Yet you couldn’t help but hold on to hope. 

It drove Trent insane when you insisted on adding banana flavored ice cream to the dessert options. He told you no one liked banana ice cream because it was rank and that it didn’t even taste like banana. Of course, he figured out who in your social circle did like it. Trent had gotten angry about a lot of trivial things and somehow Eddie was often wedged into the subject. If you were honest, you hadn’t really known Trent all that well before you said yes to his proposal. It was as if the moment he knew he had you, he slowly started to change or rather, be more himself.

Eddie never came to the wedding. No one ordered banana ice cream for dessert.

“Y/N, refill?” Steve interrupted your thoughts. You blinked and quickly propped a smile on your face before meeting his gaze.

“Oh, yes, thank you,” you handed your glass to him and moments later he handed it back to you containing an orange-red liquid. You gazed at it for a moment before addressing him. “Sex on the beach?”

Steve smirked. “That’s the one.” His hand squeezed your shoulder kindly before he joined the others again. He knew it was futile to ask if you wanted to join them, knew you sometimes preferred to just listen along from a distance far enough where you wouldn’t be expected to engage. 

You never could have expected that about an hour later, you would be sharing the balcony space with no other than Eddie Munson. In silence. You went there for some fresh air, he went there to pollute it with his smoke filled exhales. Neither of you acknowledged the other. When you heard the door open you hadn’t even turned around. You had been there a while, so lost in thought that you barely registered it. It hadn’t even occurred to you that he was at the party, that’s how long you had been there. You had never seen him arrive.

However, you didn’t even have to look as much in his direction to know it was him. It was the mix of Old Spice, cigarettes and mint and something entirely Eddie that gave it away. A combination of scents that had quickly become your favorite when you first started to hang out with him. You felt it when he rested his arms on the railing just like you were. You wondered if his heartbeat felt as deafening to him as yours did to you. He could have said something. After everything that you tried, it felt painful to be ignored like that even when you were right next to him. As you were working up the courage to say something, your brain decided to take a plunge into your memory and skip all the polite small talk, instead going for the one thing that had been bothering you for a long time now.

“Why didn’t you come to the wedding?”

Eddie took the slowest drag of his cigarette mankind had ever taken, sighed and lazily inspected the ashes while he flicked them off into the wind. You still weren’t looking at him when he shrugged indifferently.

“Your invitation wasn’t really an invitation.”

An overwhelming surge of emotions clutched and clawed at your chest, begging to be let in or let out, it was hard to tell. You had missed his voice so much. It took you a moment to realize that what he said made no sense at all.

“What do you mean?” Slowly, you dared to look in his direction from the corner of your eye. He was still focused on his cigarette, watching it burn.

“Well,” Eddie started to cite it perfectly, as if he had just held your invite two seconds ago and it was still at the forefront of his mind. “Your presence itself is a gift. We don’t want you to bring any gifts to the wedding.”

For a moment you could only stare at him. Surely he didn’t mean…

“You can’t be serious.”

Eddie’s eyes followed the railing until they landed on your hands and the sublest frown etched into his forehead when he couldn’t spot a wedding ring, or any ring for that matter, on your fingers. Perhaps you were scared of losing it or something. Where was Trent anyway?

“It said I am a gift and to not bring gifts. It’s simple math.”

The indifference in his voice ignites a burning frustration in you. How could he act so casually about this when you had in fact cried (of course not in the presence of Trent) over his absence? How could he act like your years of friendship meant nothing to him, from one day to the other? Eddie, who always fantasized out loud about how you’d still get drunk enough together to think dancing on rooftops was a good idea at the age of 85.

“Everyone got that invitation and they were there,” you gritted out.

Another shrug.

“I’m sorry about that. Maybe they didn’t get it.”

“No, you didn’t get it,” you retorted, your frustration becoming more difficult to contain and be limited to just your thoughts.

“No, Y/N, you didn’t get it. You still don’t,” he mumbled.

You didn’t get it?! Your body was fully turned to him now and Eddie still refused to look at you. It drove you insane.

“Then please, explain to me why you ditched one of your best friends at her wedding after refusing to meet up with her anymore out of the fucking blue?”

“Oh you really don’t think there was something specific that went down that could have possibly caused all of this?” Eddie bit back, his eyes finally meeting yours. You were a little taken aback by the blazing fire they held, though. The hurt within them. As if all of this had somehow been your fault.

“Am I supposed to believe that you were so opposed to the idea of me being happy that you decided you no longer wanted to be anywhere near me, ever again? Is that it? Was it the engagement?”

“Yes. I couldn’t bear watching you throw away the life you had to get with some selfish prick that couldn’t even be bothered to see if you were okay when you tripped because ‘you should watch where you walk’. Who was so fucking different from you he kept wanting to change you, push you into boxes you weren’t. So yes when I heard you were willingly getting into that boat with him forever, I stepped back. What of it?”

He stood facing you directly now, arms crossed tightly over his chest, stance wide. His nostrils flared as he breathed out heavily, eyes wide as saucers as he tried to contain what seemed to be anger, built up frustration.

“Which life?! The one where I just had to miserably watch how everyone around me got settled and slowly slipped into a domestic-white-pickett-fence-with-two-children kind of life?”

“You had us! You had me!” Eddie unknowingly raised his voice, his hands pushed tightly against his chest to stop them from shaking.

“I had friends, yes! Such a crime for me to want something more, huh? Don’t get me wrong, Eddie, but it was only a matter of time before one of those bimbos you hooked up with after gigs became a long-term partner. I’m sure you’ve…” You vaguely gestured at him, his hands, something, because surely he had a great girlfriend by now. Someone that fit him like you never would.

Eddie shook his head vigorously, his wild hair following the movement. He revealed his hands, pointing at his empty ring finger.

“See? Nothing. I’m not like you. I don’t just settle for whoever.” 

You scoffed and revealed your hands.

“No you’re not like me indeed. I got divorced. Guess you win again, congrats.”

For the first time, his hostility faded a little. It was almost as if he wanted to approach you but instead he crossed his arms again, not meeting your eyes.

“Sorry about that, I guess. I didn’t know. Steve never told me.”

“Steve told me you didn’t want to talk about me, so. Not surprised that he didn’t.”

Eddie groaned impatiently, his hands flying up to his hair to run through as he looked inside, where he spotted Steve quickly turning his head away. Fucker.

“He knows why I didn’t want to talk about you though. He should have, I could have— But now instead I’ve been— Fuck!”

“You’re… not making a lot of sense right now, bud,” you remarked dryly.

Another groan, though a bit more whiny.

“Don’t fucking— I’m not your bud alright?”

You rolled your eyes, fed up with him by now. It was as if he had taken four knives to stab you simultaneously with, twisting them occasionally.

“You’re right. You’re nothing to me, apparently. As you wish.”

Both of you were so lost in your own world that you didn’t even notice how Steve had closed off the view to the balcony doors by drawing the curtains to prevent anyone else from coming up. Neither had you noticed that he had in fact locked the doors as well.

“You’re a real bitch, you know that?” Eddie seethed through his teeth, taking a small step closer towards you with his eyes blazing. It was the last straw you needed after this agonizing build up of two years. You had had enough. 

“Oh I’m a bitch?! You literally gave me the cold fucking shoulder from one day to the next, ignored all my calls, all my messages, you literally pretended like I didn’t fucking exist, Eddie! Why would you do something like that, knowing how much it would hurt me? Call me a bitch all you want, but you’re heartless.”

“I’ve been fucking heartless since the goddamn day you stole it, Y/N.”

What? Stunned, you looked up at him to witness the panic that flared up in his eyes and he quickly made a beeline towards the balcony doors.

“Eddie, wait—” 

Eddie shook his head and tried to pry the door open with all his might. He was desperate to get away from you as far as possible.

“Why the fuck can’t I— Steve. Steve! Open the goddamn thing now!”

It didn’t take long for Steve to appear when Eddie started banging loudly on the window. He pulled the curtains around his head, making it look like it was floating amidst the black curtains and promptly shook his head.

“No. Fix it, Munson. Until then, enjoy your stay on the balcony,” Steve told him through the window, right before disappearing again.

“Fuck!”

He kicked against a heavy plant pot for good measure, causing him to swear some more before he meekly faced you again. You had quietly been following the whole ordeal and were still struggling to find the words to respond to any of it.

“So… What was that about me stealing your heart?” you asked softly and you had half the mind to be amused by the expression Eddie had on his face. There was no world where you wouldn’t find him and his panicky expressions at least slightly adorable.

“It sounds even more ridiculous when you say it,” Eddie sighed, slumping down against the door until he sat on the floor.

“Since when?”

“Since forever, man. How could I not?” He gestured at you as if he hated to admit it, arm dropping back down a little too harsh causing him to curse softly.

“How?”

“What do you mean how? It just happens, and I’m not gonna apologize for how I feel about y—”

“No, I mean,” you interrupted him, “you were always… You never gave me the idea that you even considered me that way.” 

Eddie frowned and rested his head against the door as he let go of a long sigh.

“I literally said you were like Arwen to me. And that Aragorn was my favorite.” His pout was a little childlike, as if it had been something that had bothered him for years on end. In fact, it had. You groaned in disbelief.

“I hadn’t read it by then! You wouldn’t tell me why you thought I was like Arwen and told me to just read the book. Which I never did because I was always hanging with you doing other stuff in my free time. And once I did have the time, you were always hooking up with random girls so I didn’t really feel like it anymore.”

“Why would you not want to read Lord of the Rings because I was making out with random chicks?” he asked, clear confusion on his face. He almost looked a little insulted.

“Because I was jealous, you idiot! I wasn’t gonna read a thick book that I was going to read for you when you were busy exploring other people’s throats.”

“I’m afraid I’m not following, Y/N, what do you mean you were jealous? You always shot me those god awful finger guns with a huge grin whenever I went backstage with one of them.” 

“Oh, was I supposed to pull them back by their hair and say something like ‘He’s mine, you bimbo!’ and stick my tongue down your throat instead?” you asked him with a dead panned expression, causing him to chuckle unexpectedly.

“Uh, yeah?! That’s exactly how I imagined it would go, but instead you were all supportive and nice about it so I figured you didn’t give two shits. I even tried two on one night and… nothing! Not even a jealous eyebrow twitch that I know you can do, the way you do when someone gets the best part of a cake with the extra chocolates on it. I was desperate, Y/N.”

You debated sitting across from him but figured the door would be more comfortable against your back, so instead you hesitantly sat down next to him. Eddie didn’t seem to mind, to your relief.

“Ever thought of just… I don’t know, walking up to me and saying you liked me or something?” you asked with a quip of your brow and a soft smile.

“Uh, right back at you.” Eddie rolled his eyes, though he wore the hint of a smile on his face.

“No but, seriously. You kissed random girls during your shows. All you had to do was pick me instead, no?”

Eddie shook his head.

“With them it didn’t matter. With you… if you rejected me, you’d break my heart.”

The silence settled between you again. Heavy, yet not uncomfortable. Eddie exhaled slowly, his shoulder touching yours so light you could have imagined it.

“And then suddenly you introduced Trent to us. I thought, this prick isn’t gonna last a month. You and him? Nah, not in a million years. But then he did. And another, and another, and another. And then… you were engaged. I was convinced it was all just a horrible nightmare. An awful trick played on me. But I just had to accept that I was some random side character in your life and that I had wasted my chance to become anything more.”

He played with the frayed ends of one of the holes in his jeans and exhaled shakily, his fingers trembling slightly. 

“It’s why I asked if you loved him, you know? I thought… maybe. But you said yes, so I had to back away. I wasn’t going to act fair towards you if I didn’t. I— I was a mess, ask Steve. He got fed up with me so many times but he- he’s a good one, y’know. Of course you know. So yeah, I couldn’t. I just couldn’t. The only reason I’m even here is because Steve promised that you weren’t gonna come. And then suddenly…”

“Here I was,” you finished for him. He nodded.

“There you were.” A sigh, a shy glance in your direction. “As beautiful as ever, if not more. I was so shocked to see you that I forgot to leave.”

“I’m glad you didn’t,” you told him softly. “I hope you never will.”

You reached for his trembling fingers and covered them with your own, slowly pushing them apart. Eddie swallowed audibly, his eyes flicking from your hands to your face.

“I’ve missed you,” he confessed in a whisper, his eyes wide and sincere. His thumb softly caressed your pinky.

“I’ve missed you too.” A beat of silence. “I put banana ice cream on the menu, you know.”

Eddie turned his head and smiled in disbelief. “You did?”

“Mhm,” you chuckled softly. “No one ordered.”

“What a waste. I would’ve eaten it all.”

You shared a smile and rested your heads against one another.

“Sorry I wasn’t there,” he said eventually. You shrugged. 

“It’s fine, you didn’t miss anything anyway. Apart from the ice cream, of course.”

“You looked beautiful. Steve has— I’m sure you know but, he had the photo of you and him framed. He wanted to put it up but wanted to wait until he had more things to put up so he could arrange it all at once. But I guess… it’s a bit weird now.”

Steve. Always such a sweetheart.

“I didn’t know, actually. But yeah, a little weird I guess.” 

You both listened to the music coming from inside, your fingers gently drumming along. Eddie’s head too, you noticed vaguely as he moved against your head. At least, that’s what you assumed until you felt his lips on your cheek. You could feel he was holding onto his breath, waiting for your reaction. Hesitantly, he kissed your cheek again, his trembling lips giving away how nervous he was. You turned your head slowly. His breath hitched a little when your lips brushed his, unsure whether to move away or not. Gently, you added the lightest pressure onto his lips with your own and pressed them together into a kiss. You didn’t care that his fingers squished yours a little painfully as he tightly grasped his knee in response. He leaned back shakily, just enough to break apart only so he could press your lips together again. Sweeter, more intentional, more mutual. He shifted slightly, his leg resting on your crossed legged ones a little as his other hand came up to cup your cheek, deepening the kiss he had desired to give you for years. Your lips danced together without a fight for dominance, instead it was all about unity, in the perfect alignment of your faces together. The softest giggle escaped his lips when his nose bumped into yours as you changed angles. He gasped when your fingers threaded into his hair.

The both of you were so lost in the kiss that you didn’t notice Steve peeking through the curtains, needing a moment to discover you were in fact making out against the door. You didn’t notice him closing them again either, however…

“YES!! FINALLY!”

Eddie bumped his head against the door in shock and you quickly broke apart, but only after gazing into each other’s eyes lazily with the dopiest smiles on your faces.

“Was that Steve?” you asked.

“Sure was. Steve!” Eddie knocked on the door before getting up and extending his hand to help you as well. Steve was quick to show up in front of the balcony doors again and removed the curtains before opening them.

“Shit, you saw me didn’t you?” Steve asked guiltily, bummed that he interrupted your moment. Eddie snorted and shook his head.

“No dude, it was your high pitched scream that gave us a near heart attack.” 

“Oh. Well. I’m glad you guys uh… made up. Sorry for locking you out, but I had to do something. You can come back in now.”

As Steve stepped aside, Eddie chuckled and reached for the black curtains to pull them back closed again.

“Thank you, but uhm, maybe later? We’ve got some catching up to do.” 

Eddie grinned down at you as he closed the balcony doors again and wasted no second to wrap his arms around your waist. You beamed up at him, eyes sparkling with delight.

“Where were we, sweetheart?”

Here's the image I mentioned earlier. Funny how a whole short fic can come out of it, right? :)

[x-aefx]

Back to you - Ellie Williams

Part four/

Warnings: internalized homophobia.

Summary: college!ellie au. Having once been close friends, Ellie and you begin to talk again while new feelings bloom and old ones return.

Tags: @blairfox04

Pairing: Ellie Williams x female reader

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Perhaps Dina meant tomorrow or the day after to go speak with Ellie, and maybe that was what you would’ve done if it was someone else, but it was Ellie and you were worried. You made up some shit excuse and escaped the party. The cold air hitting your skin yet you didn’t feel it as you walked to Ellie’s dorm. Your mind was a million leagues away from the present.

Cars past you and people stared. Stared at the girl speeding as fast as she could in her heeled shoes, trying to reach the person she has once again grown to care for like she had two years ago.

When you reached her dorm you didn’t stop or slow down, you didn’t let the relief take you. You made your way In front of her door and knocked your knuckles against the wood six times.

“Go away” you faintly heard the voice inside.

“Ellie I came to talk. Dina’s worried about you and-and so am I.” your chest tightened once the words left your lips.

It was silent as Ellie processed your words. You didn’t hear her make her way to the door, only when it swung open did you know she had been listening.

“well here I am, in one piece fully functioning. You can go now.” Ellie spoke flatly but her eyes were slightly red and her hair less neat then it was at the party. She no longer looked comfortable or relaxed.

“I didn’t come all this way for one quick glance, Ellie. I am worried.” You frowned. This wasn’t the Ellie you had been speaking with at the party, no this was an entirely different Ellie.

Ellie said nothing. You gestured inside her dorm, eyebrows raised. Ellie remained silent as she continued looking at you. Silently she stepped out of the way to let you inside her dorm room. You sighed realizing this would be harder than you thought, but you made your way inside her dorm.

It was just as you remembered except a few added drawings hung on the wall, along with her guitar and her shelf was filled with more cd’s and vinyl’s then last time. Her walls were covered in band and space posters, polaroid pictures and art pieces you knew she had done herself. Her desk was messy to you, but to Ellie it was organized in a way only she could understand. Her bed wasn’t made so you assumed she had been laying in it before you interrupted. She had more dorm space as you due to the absence of a roommate, the last one dropping out in the first year and no one had taken her place.

Your eyes moved to the drawings on her wall. You smiled as you observed one of Ellie squished in-between her father, Joel, and her sister, Sarah on the steps of their farmhouse. Beside it was one of Sarah and her now boyfriend, smiling as they sat beside each other on the couch. She had a drawing of her father playing the guitar and another of him and his brother, Tommy. You always envied her large happy family.

You turned around to the sound of a lid been lifted from a metal box. Ellie’s hand digging around until her fingers clutched around something.

You watched as she took her lighter and moved it to the bottom of the pre rolled joint. Bringing it to her lips she inhaled it slowly before exhaling. You watched the smoke as it left her lips. Ellie walked towards you, stopping inches away from your body.

“you’ve had more than a quick glance now. You can leave.” Ellie’s voice came out in a raspy whisper. Her confidence and cockiness radiating off of her.

“I know.” You whispered back, eyes never straying from her green ones.

“yet here you are.” You could feel Ellie’s warm breath on your face.

“here I am.”

Ellie watched you with an odd expression, one you had never seen her direct towards you before. It was like she was searching your mind, almost desperately trying to find something in your eyes. Her gaze stayed intensely on you for what felt like hours before she took a step back and moved to her bed. She laid with a hand under her head that rested on the soft pillows and the other bringing the joint back to her lips. Ellie closed her eyes as she inhaled the smoke, blowing it out she turned her head to you and opened her eyes, quirking a brow

“if your going to stay, there’s no point in just standing there like a statue. I don’t bite.” Ellie smirked, her voice mocking.

Without thinking you moved to the bed, laying down flat on your back, hands resting on your stomach right beside Ellie. It was just the two of you, the closest you had ever been with her in two years.

Ellie handed you the joint which you accepted. You two sat in silence. There was so much you wanted to ask her, so many unanswered questions, but you didn’t know where to start or how to say any of it. You let the weed bring your mind to ease. You enjoyed the floating feeling it caused your body.

“why did you come here.” Ellie mumbled, eyes glued to the ceiling.

“To see if you were ok.” You answered truthfully.

Ellie frowned but didn’t say anything.

“why did you leave the party?” came your next question.

Again Ellie said nothing. You turned on your side to face her.

“I thought we were getting along. Like old times.” You mumbled. Your eyes took in every freckle on her face, the way the green in her eyes seemed even brighter tonight, the auburn hair that rested on her forehead.

“I thought so too.” Ellie muttered back, her eyes briefly meeting yours before turning back to the ceiling.

“then why did you leave.” You repeat your earlier question.

“I could ask you the same thing.” Ellie avoided answering your question by asking one of her own.

“I already told you. I was worried about you.” You said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world, because you thought it was.

Ellie snorted, “you left prince charming and all the other boys who were eying you up because you were worried about me, consider me flattered.” Her tone was bitter, her head struggling to contain her feelings any longer.

You were shocked. Shocked by her words and the effect they had on you.

“I’ll always worry about you Ellie.” You whispered, only for her to hear, “for some reason, no matter who I’m with or what I’m doing, my mind always comes back to you. At times I think that’s the only reason I was put on this Earth, to worry about you.” You smiled warmly at her. The weed making feelings you were previously ashamed off seem good.

Ellie smiled, a genuine one. She turned her head to meet your eyes, “sometimes I think the only reason I’m still on this Earth, is because even if I left, I would still find my way back to you.” Came her whispered response. Her words made your body lose all air.

“Then what happened?” you urged her for an answer, but Ellie turned her gaze back to the ceiling.

You stopped the disappointed sigh from escaping your lips in an effort to not make her feel too bad. Your heart was heavy in your chest but one word from Ellie could make it beat with life in an instant.

The two of you lay in the bed, the only sound coming from the record player you only now noticed. The weed made you feel light.

“I stopped talking to you because I was scared.” After a long moment, Ellie finally spoke up.

“Scared? Of what?” you couldn’t hide the shock in your voice. You lay on your side to face her.

“I remember getting all excited after the summer holidays in first year, I think the only reason I didn’t drop was because I knew being in college would mean getting back to you. “ Ellie’s voice got softer, her eyes still glued to the ceiling as she took a drag.

You frowned. You wanted an answer to your question and you were unsure of where this story was going or the meaning behind it. You pushed down the butterflies flying around in your stomach.

Ellie continued, “I had it all planned out, like some fucking weirdo. I remember standing outside that café that Dina said you were at for at least five minutes, before I got the courage to go speak with you. I eventually went in and immediately recognized your laugh. I followed it until I spotted you near the back. With some fucker I didn’t know the name of. It was the shittiest feeling in the world. I felt like I just got punched in the stomach and everyone was laughing at me. It hurt so much that I couldn’t move. I watched him say some bullshit that made you laugh again, I watched his hand touch your arm. I watched it all completely terrified. “

Ellie turned on her side to face you.

“I was scared because of the feelings seeing you with someone else caused, seeing you with a boy. I wanted nothing more than to punch that fucker in the face, simply for talking to you. I was scared he would take you away from me. I was even more scared about feeling that way and having those thoughts about you. “

You realized what Ellie was saying to you. You realized why she avoided you.

“you had feelings for me.” The words came out in a hushed whisper as you looked at her in surprise. It wasn’t a question, you just needed to hear Ellie confirm those words.

“I have feelings for you. Man I thought if I kept my distance from you, then those feelings would go away. “ Ellie chuckled to herself before muttering, “like fuck they did.”

It was quiet.

You tried to process her words, and Ellie waited and watched you as you did.

Her hand travelled from the duvet you both rested on, to your hips. Her hands gently grazed over the fabric of your dress before moving to your waist where her hand rested for a moment. Ellie never broke her gaze from yours. She silently admired your beauty, your eyes, your concentrated look on your face as you tried to understand her words. She smiled softy at that thought. For years she has been bottling up those feelings, and although she would’ve hoped to say them in a more romantic way, she was glad she finally said them.

Without warning she cupped your jaw, her thumb caressing the side of your face. Ellie was much closer now than before. Her eyes darkened and the room grew eerily silent yet your mind was chaos.

You don’t know why you did it, what compelled you in that moment. But when you felt her surprisingly soft lips on yours, your eyes closed and you kissed her back.

Ellie moved until she was now on top of you. You felt her smile slightly against you. Your heart sped so fast you worried she could hear it. She laced her hands with yours against the bed, her legs on either side of you.

You were foolish to think such a perfect moment could last forever. The reality of the situation brining you back to the present, made you realize what was happening and how you weren’t trying to stop it.

You pulled away. Ellie frowned. She looked hurt and confused and that made you feel even more guilty.

Ellie moved off of you, looking at you cautiously as she waited for you to say something.

Your breathing quickened as you grew fully aware of what was happening. Your mind plunged back into the familiar chaos. You looked at your surroundings and then at the beautiful girl beside you, the girl you knew you were hurting in that moment.

“I’m so sorry-I-I need to leave.” You stammered. Quickly you moved off the bed and towards the door.

“Y/N.” Ellie called out after you. Ellie grabbed your arm in an attempt to calm you and to make you hear her words, but you couldn’t comprehend any of it.

“Stay with me. Please. Don’t leave. We can talk this out-“

You only managed to shake your head as you pulled away from her grasp. You left her dorm with eyes full of tears. It was only when you reached the very end of the hall, out of Ellie’s view, did you crumple against the wall.

Your body was shaking. This wasn’t you.

You didn’t like girls. You couldn’t like girls. You liked boys.

More tears streamed down your cheeks as you thought back to all the wonderful feelings Ellie caused you and how no boy ever made you feel that way. Ever.

What have you done?

[ddaz3d-and-cc0nfused]

Me again ☺️

Literally so excited !!! - could I please request:

Spencer Reid x Wife! Reader?

Spencer and Reader work at the same college as professors and Reid is running on like 10 cups of coffee and no sleep and as he enters the teachers lounge he smacks right into reader? Kinda like a meet-cute?

Thank you!!! You got me obsessed with Spencer?!!

༉‧₊˚. 𝐦𝐞 & 𝐦𝐲 𝐡𝐮𝐬𝐛𝐚𝐧𝐝 || 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐢𝐝

― pairing: spencer reid x plus size wife!reader

― summary: ever since you'd met spencer all those years ago hyped up on caffeine, you've made sure to keep an eye on his sugar consumption.

― warnings: nothing! just some sweet old domestic spencer.

― wc: 988

⋆ a/n: i'm not sorry for making you obsessed with him! i hope i interpreted your request correctly, if not i apologize! there's still wife!reader ofc!! i made her style like penelope's because i figured it'd also be another sweet little addition :] thank you so much for your request and i would definitely like to see what you come up with next!

masterlist | AO3

Sometimes you couldn't help but think that if you and Spencer hadn't worked together, he would implode on himself. It was so easy for his mind to run faster than what his body could handle, and he cared so deeply for his students, so most of the time he would forget to take care of himself.

You remember the day that you had met him, fresh meat as you nervously hung out in the teachers lounge feeling very out of place. Everyone looked so knowledgeable and experienced with their vests and prestigious cardigans, and maybe this was what you should have expected when you had gotten a job at a very luxurious school that only the smartest and brightest could get into. You felt a bit underdressed with your frilly and colorful dress, your hair littered with little hair clips to fit your outgoing personality.

Your classroom looked the same with multiple posters, tinsels, and just wall decor in general. You hoped that it would create a less tense atmosphere for the newcomers, seeing as though you opted to teach a college freshman class. Maybe you had hoped that all of you being in the same boat would make it easier, for you or for them? You didn't know.

As you looked down at the cat watch that sat upon your wrist, your eyes widened. Many of your students would be back from their lunch break. As you internally praised yourself for bringing your own coffee mug, you rushed to leave, but not without bumping into someone first. You could feel your cup get lighter as the luke warm contents inside of it spilled all over the front of the poor man in front of you.

“Oh my god, oh my god!” You panicked, your eyes frantically searched the longue for something to wipe the man down with, your gaze landing on some of the napkins sat upon the side of the sink. You rushed to grab them, apologies already spilling out of your mouth as you pathetically dapped at the man's clothing.

“I am so sorry, I really wasn't watching where I was going, oh God.” You watch the creme colored liquid bleeding onto the napkin. “Just great, exactly what I needed on my first day. How could I already get fired, I haven't even been a teacher for a day! Oh gosh, it took me so long to decorate my classroom.” Your brain was going a mile a minute as you muttered quiet degrading words to yourself.

“Fired?” You heard the man chuckle. You stopped your dabbing to look at him, and you mean really, look at him. He was handsome no doubt, but the bags under his eyes spoke volumes as well as his untamed curly hair added emphasis. The pupils of his eyes were slightly dilated, which was obviously due to the caffeine.

“I just—” You faced palmed in embarrassment, a shy smile on your face as you realized you were now the man's main focus. “Can I get you another cup of coffee?” You asked sheepishly. He deeply chuckled, “I think I'd really like that.”

You didn't know that would have been his tenth cup of the day, but he couldn't say no to you, no matter how much sugar that he had ended up consuming, or the fact that he ended up laying over the toilet as he vomited, but he couldn't stop thinking about the pretty professor in the bright dresses.

Five years later and you're still wearing those type of clothes, only this time a pretty diamond ring had made itself an addition to your outfits. You were currently on your way to his classroom, his students often overjoyed at seeing their favorite history professor. Even though you weren't fond of the criminology class, sometimes even walking in as a dead body was shown, you were fond of Spencer, and that's all that mattered.

It was strange, feeling like you were outside looking into your life through a different point of view as you peered at the man from the same spot you had found yourself after the day you had met him, watching him teach as if he hadn't slept in two days.

As you knocked gently to alert your husband of your presence, many of his students broke out in enthusiastic greetings.

“Hi, Mrs. Reid!” Or “You look pretty today, Mrs. Reid!” As well as your favorite, “Where did you get your shoes from?” You would never not jump at the chance to share your favorite boutique that made the funky, but signature looking shoes.

“Hello, everyone!” You greeted with a smile. “Alright you guys, take these next few minutes to discuss the case.” He turned to you with a large smile, grabbing your hand and pulling you out into the hallway as you wrapped your chunky arms around his neck, watching him closely as you searched for those same dilated eyes.

“What did I tell you about disrupting my class?” He asked teasingly, leaning down to press a quick kiss to your lips. “I know, I know, but I missed you. And I also wanted to make sure that you weren't all sugared out.” He laughed, his lips pulling into that geeky smile of his that you loved so much. His body had definitely softened over the years, but that just meant that there was more of him for you to love. “Trust me, I've only had two today. Ever since you told my kids to keep an eye on me, they've been on my ass about it.”

You raised an eyebrow, a shit-eating grin taking it's place on your face as you twirled a piece of hair around your finger.

“Good, I don't need you vomiting like last time.” He just shrugged, “But I got to talk to you, so it was worth it.” You snorted, pulling him down for a sweet kiss. “Oh, shut up.”

ೃ⁀➷ my lovely taglist!: @alina02

[slxsherwriter]

Monsters in Plain Sight

Pairing: None. Hints of Otis Driftwood x female reader

Warnings: Cursing, violence, gore, the Firefly clan

Word count: 4.2k

A/N: This is my first foray into the Firefly family and the fandom as a whole. The idea took root and refused to let go. What had started off as just a short one shot turned into this with the plan to continue. I mean, who would have more fun with some creatures of the night than the Firefly clan? Read on below the cut.

The moon was high overhead, the rural, rugged landscape seemingly devoid of all life. Motion was scarce to nonexistent and silence reigned. The stench of death and decay hung heavily in the air, though it wasn’t obvious to most. To you, yes. Ruggsville County always held the heavy scent of death, both decayed and fresh. The problem was that most didn’t have the heightened senses to be aware. Not unless they were right on top of the source.

You knew better. While the county had not been home your entire life, you had spent the better part of ten years around these parts. For as rural as it was, hunting was abundant when needed. Plenty of tourists drove through the area, meaning they were free picking. If you didn’t get to them, some of the other monsters that hide behind human skin would surely use them as playthings.

It was hard to ignore the Firefly clan when the source of that scent of death hung so heavily from their property. After all, it spread out for well over a mile from the home. It had been on a hunt one night that you had stumbled onto their property, chasing down a member of a group that had become dinner and chew toys for the wolf. As a lone werewolf, you had taken to avoiding most people and this place was high on the list. Common sense and self preservation had demanded that the place be given a wide berth but in your eagerness to tear down the escapee, you had run directly to the home.

It was from behind one of the many rusted and abandoned vehicles on the property that you hid as your prey stumbled to a door and slammed their fists against it in pure desperation. Blood caked her face, her shoulder torn open from where your claws had pierced through flesh. If she thought that she would receive salvation here, she was sorely mistaken but it was hardly something that she could know. Your prey had been lost for the evening and it wasn’t worth losing your shroud of secrecy and anonymity. Seclusion and isolation was best for your survival so with a low growl, you were forced to retreat. She would end up among the decaying soon enough.

*********

That had been three weeks ago. Again, a respected, invisible boundary to their land had been given. The problem? There had been a distinct lack of people moving through the area and you felt the beast entirely restless beneath your skin.

There hadn’t been any hunters in the area in the last six years. Was it safe to begin showing your face among some of the local hunts? Probably not but at this point, it was either that or settled off the measly scraps of the few animals that called this part of Texas home. It wasn’t enough to satisfy the cravings. Especially as the full moon drew closer. Nothing settled the animal that was a part of you as a proper hunt, the screams of humans as they realized all the nightmares that they had dreamed of were true.

You had taken to camping out at the gas station and roadside attraction that was run by one of the men that was of the Firefly family. Even fewer people knew about their connection but it was impossible not to make the connection as the same scent clung to his skin as it did the land. Each person also had their own unique underlying scent. Subtle but present to you. Something you had trained yourself to notice in case there was a hunter that trailed you. Better to know where they were ahead of time and try to be three steps ahead. It was a trick that had kept you alive when you were far younger and significantly less experienced at covering your tracks and making sure loose ends were tied up.

Tonight, the first thing that you noticed was a suspicious looking fellow hanging around about twenty feet away, hidden just off in a small set of bushes across from the front door. Your nose wrinkled in distaste. Sour. He smelled incredibly sour. Not good for eating but certainly for something to sink your teeth into. It would be worth the horrible taste that would accompany him. But for the time being, you held back and observed.

When he pulled a mask over his face, it became apparent what he wanted to do. A mistake on his end for multiple reasons. Before you could do anything about it though, he was rushing to the door. Feet were carrying you to the door before you could think about it. The need and urge for violence was far too overwhelming. It needed to be sated, the beast needed to be quelled before you lost all control.

As you opened the door, the shaky head turn told you that the man wasn’t ballsy enough to really be doing something like this. It made sense that the sour smell clung to him. Desperation when it wasn’t from utter fear for a life held a far different scent. One that was unpleasant at the best of times.

“Listen lady, get out of here.” Cute that he thought he could order you around. The man behind the counter, Captain Spaulding himself, was holding his hands up, middle fingers high in the air. An amusing position though you could barely spare another glance in his direction. Missing the way that intrigue sparked his gaze, head cocked slightly to the side as you stepped into the shop further.

“No, I don’t think I will.” Defiance in your tone, a grin slowly appeared on your face. A look that had the man shifting his weight on his feet. He couldn’t keep the gun on both of you but it really hardly mattered. While the pain would be a bitch, you had doubts he was sporting silver bullets in his gun. Therefore, the damage would be temporary.

“Are you fucking crazy?” There was a waiver to his hand, eyes flicking back and forth between you and Spaulding. As if his brain was racing to see if somehow this was planned between the two of you.

“No clue who the fuck she is. But I like her.” If he really liked the macabre, he was going to truly enjoy what happened next.

“Oh, fuck this.” The man turned his gun to you and shot. The bullet hit your shoulder, which just tore an inhuman growl from your throat as you launched your weight forward. The shift happened in seconds, your form changed before their eyes, just as your jaw clamped around the guy’s throat.

“Holy mother fuck!” The shout of the other registered but you were far too busy clamping down on the man’s throat, crushing bone beneath the powerful bite and feeling far too satisfied as blood hit your tongue, coating your maw. Claws dug into his shoulders, deep wounds that scrapped bone. He was dead before you both hit the ground though that didn’t stop you from pulling back, the wet sound of flesh tearing filling the area around you. Blood splattered almost everywhere.

Your focus shifted back to the owner of the establishment, seeing a glee overtake his features rather than horror or fear. There was just a hint underlying somewhere but his joy was far more palpable. The show had clearly been enjoyed and now there was something entirely new to unpack. Backing off the body, it took just a moment longer to shift back to your more inconspicuous form. The first time that you had done so in front of someone that you hadn’t planned on killing. A risk. Massive if you were honest and hopefully it panned out in your favor. Being alone was wearing on your stability. Wolves were natural pack animals after all. Among the killers perhaps you could find yourself a place. The worst that could happen would be having to end their lives, doubting that they could end yours.

“Now that was quite a show! And from such a pretty little lady.” You couldn’t help but roll your eyes. Not the first time that you had heard comments about you being this small little thing compared to the beast that you became. Frankly it became rather annoying after awhile. Clean up needed to happen. The question was, did he want the body? You sure as shit didn’t plan on taking it as you spat out the blood that lingered in your mouth. It tasted as poorly as anticipated. “Not the sort of shit you see every day and I specialize in freaks of nature. Just what are you?” He had stepped around the counter now. The man in the clown suit seemed to be no slouch himself, moving with the smoothness and threat of a predator. He may be human but his instincts were just as honed as yours were. Something that surprisingly puts you at more of an ease than perhaps it should have. Like spirits recognizing like spirits perhaps. A snarl ripped from your throat though when he stepped just too close.

Your response brought a sound that couldn’t be called anything other than a giggle from him. Amusement shining in his eyes.

“Oh, I really like you.”

“Yeah, well. Hunting has been some slim pickings lately so I had to take what I could get. Should I leave him here to be added to your collection?” Your nose wrinkled. “Fucker isn’t going to do me any good. Tastes as rotten and spoiled as a carcass out in the oppressive, lizard scalding Texas heat for days on end.” The comment brought another laugh from him, though there was a moment where the amusement had dropped and the simmering rage beneath the surface threatened to appear. You pointed to your nose as if it answered how you knew about it without any other explanation. But the man didn’t know any better even if he had just seen your other form.

“You seem confident in that.”

“Can smell it for miles. Not a scent that can be caught by humans, but the decay and death rolling off this place and that family home extends for quite awhile. And before you say anything else, I’m the only one of my kind in the area. No one else knows about it. Been laying low here for nearly ten years now.” His gaze narrowed, lips thinned out and nearly disappeared for a moment in the facial hair that adorned his chin. Nothing else was said for a few moments but I sensed movement in the back, another two living bodies by the smell of things. His expression cleared, a wide smile reappearing on his lips. Surely that look had put plenty on edge.

“Fucking surprise there,” he admitted. “But guess there are other things that go bump out in the fucking night. Long as my family ain’t in your sight.” You felt a tinge of amusement at that.

“Your family’s seen my handy work before. Ain’t got any interest in taking out the shared hunters of the land.” Which was the truth. You really did not have a desire to tear the family apart. “As for what I am? I’m a wolf.”

“Impressive as shit is what you are. Never seen a man’s throat torn out so fucking easily. And that change was quick.” A low hiss came from you as the bullet finally worked out of your shoulder, dropping to the floor with a small ting. The wound healed over before his eyes. “Well, fuck me. Even more fucking impressive.” You looked at the spot in your shoulder before feeling the grin take over your features without warning. One that could not be fully controlled. Perfect timing for your body to do what it needed, letting the man across from you know that you weren’t that easily disposed of, that it wasn’t just all fang and claw.

******************

Things from there had happened at a seemingly rapid pace. After more than fifteen years on your own, one act had brought about a drastic change. Spaulding hadn’t insisted that you meet the family but he certainly inquired about having you around more. The crude sense of humor and the fact that the man didn’t bat an eyelash at your tendencies, going so far as offering the bathroom to let you clean yourself up when you came in bloodied, meant that you could call him a friend. Of sorts. Hell, on occasion, you even provided some bones for him to add to his entire set up, after he had allowed a traveler or two to wander a little too close to your hunting grounds.

You had exchanged names after a couple of weeks, you discovering his by accident and offering yours in return. That hadn’t settled it though. He wasn’t content calling you by your name. Which was fine by you since you hadn’t heard it in years. As if fucking with you, he had taken to calling you Bunny. A hint towards another Marx brother’s thing if his name was anything to go by. It annoyed you for about the first week before you decided you saw the humor in it and accepted it.

It was a natural thing, for you to finally have a run in with a family member since you began visiting Spaulding weekly. Having gone from no interaction, beyond your prey, to having someone there was something that you couldn’t easily give up right away. Especially not someone who was a kindred spirit.

It was a quiet night, without the prospect of any travelers on the horizon. You were leaning over the counter, discussing his fried chicken, something that had become a favorite of yours, when the door behind opened up loudly. A grunt issued from the man across from you as his eyes traveled up to see who it was that had come wandering in. When he didn’t say anything, you found your interest a little piqued. Brow cocked in a silent question, the clown didn’t give a single thing away.

“Got another piece fer yer ride.” Not another happenstance individual that was out of gas. There was a familiarity to whoever it was since Spaulding was still leaning over the counter.

“Then stop standing there and bring it the fuck in.”

“Fuck you. Get off yer fat ass and come help me.”

“You wanna do all that shit, do it your fucking self.” Oh, these two definitely knew one another. Though that didn’t stop the hostile tones.

“It’s fer yer fucking business. Get fucking moving, bozo.” A chuckle came before you could stop it, thoroughly amused by the exchange. The glare from Spaulding barely registered, though the sounds of boots hitting the floor closer to you did.

“Fuck you Bunny,” Spaulding spat. “Why don’t you go help this asshole? Standing around here enough, might as well get some fucking use out of you.” You straightened up, eyes narrowed. A low growl was given, though you had no intentions or real desire to hurt the man that was across the counter from you. Arguments and cursing was pretty much the basis of his relationships it seemed. Besides, what the hell were you going to do? He was your only friend on the hellhole known as Earth. He knew your secret, you knew his. Neither of you had sold the other out.

“The fuck you on about?” The other voice decided to chim in and you finally turned to look. He was far closer than what you typically allowed. Lanky but strong, his frame had that same sort of silent promise that Spaulding’s did, though he looked like he could move a hell of a lot faster. And probably do some more damage. Far more predatory than Spaulding too. The beast knew when it had met another and for the first time ever, the wolf part of yourself was actually content with the presence of another. Not a threat. No. Even if arguably, he was one.

“Otis, this here is Bunny. She’s been coming around here a lot and helping out. She’ll help you out no problem.”

“Don’t look like she can lift shit.And the fuck you mean helping out?” Before you could retort, Spaulding broke out in amused laughter.

“Son, you don’t know shit. Let the little lady help you on out.” At that, you thew the bone from the drumstick that you had been gnawing on, at him, half eaten. Crunching on the remaining bone, you turned to face Otis fully.

The appraisal was obvious and not quick. His eyes slid over your form and felt heavy enough to be a physical touch. The wolf both bristled and keened, something that caused a nagging throb right behind your eye.

“Let’s get this shit over with so I can finish my dinner.”

“You didn’t catch dinner, Bunny.” You flipped Spaulding off and Otis was obviously confused by the statement, glancing back and forth between the two of you before finally grunting and accepting that you were going to help him with whatever it was that needed to be brought into the roadside establishment.

His presence seemed to loom overhead, demanding attention in a way that you had never experienced before in your life. It had you staying quiet, more than usual. Otis seemed observant, even beneath the bluster of rage and impatience. It left the sensation of being so thoroughly and utterly exposed.

"The fuck did he mean you hadn't caught dinner?" He couldn't have missed the growl in the crowded store. You can to a beat up truck and in the back was something under a trap. It had an odd cross between death both human and animal and formaldehyde. That always burned your nose in the worst possible way. Otis apparently caught the look on your face and scoffed. "Ya can stand it in there but this is what causes ya to fucking make a scene?"

"It ain't the smell of death. It's that preservation shit. Unnatural." The distaste was obvious. "Burns like a mother fucker and leaves a rotten taste in the back of my mouth. Rather chew on one of those dessicated hands that Spaulding's got in there. Dry as shit and rotten but at least it's fucking natural." There was a moment of pause, his hand stuck on the tarp that kept the object hidden. From the way that his lips curled, something about your comment and perhaps your appearance pleased him.

"Them shits ain't chew toys."

"Everything's a fucking chew toy if I want it to be." At this, you willing flashed a set of razor sharp teeth. He leaned in closer, as if wanting to inspect them but there was something else in the way that he eyed you. That instinct was proven correct when he grabbed the back of your neck. It caused another growl to rumble from within, a repeat but far more aggressive than what you had displayed inside.

"Well, shit," he laughed. There was a smugness to the words before he was pulling back, though not before giving a tight squeeze to the back of your neck. "I can see why Spaulding keeps you around." You snorted and worked the tarp off the piece now that he seemed ready.

"He doesn't keep me around," you grumbled, bristled at the notion. "Mutual understanding is more like it."

"He gave ya a name. Don't think I didn't catch that shit. Means he is keeping you."

"Fuck off. I'm kept by no one. Ain't some God damn pet." In the blink of an eye, you had a knife to your throat, just as you were getting ready to climb into the bed of the truck. The cold steel was tight enough and sharp enough that you could barely feel it but it was slicing into skin, droplets of blood pooling. He was damn fast for a human. Real damn fast.

"The fuck you ain't." He pressed a little harder but you remained calm, lip twitching just a bit against the unpleasant sting. Otis had no idea that it wouldn't kill you. Not unless he decided to clean slice your head off. An all our snarl worked from your lips this time, feeling the beast simmering right below the surface. There wouldn't be control if he kept pushing.

And push he did.

"Bet yer skin would look real nice added to this piece." The blade drug upwards just a bit, the careful refinement of years of practice showing as he worked skin away from muscle.

Pulling away happened simultaneously of the shift. The screeching of claws against metal rang out in the empty desert air.

Clearly loud enough to cause Spaulding to come racing from inside.

"The fuck is happening?" Otis was grinning as he stared you down, eyes shining with fascination and a darkness that could verge into lust or hellfire. You weren't sure which way would be more beneficial. The wound was already healing, you had put some distance between yourself and him.

"Why the fuck ya been keeping this girl here a secret, Cutter?" You could practically hear the eye roll from the older man.

"Oh, for fuck…put the God damn knife the fuck down you idiot. She'll tear your scrawny ass in fucking two. You ain't gonna do shit with that knife before she guts you."

"Ya picking sides now?" Otis didn't turn his attention from you, even as he spit the words at Spaulding. Even so, you decided to be the one to back down. It wasn't a submission. No, that was a fact that you refused to believe or acknowledge. While he was a threat, there was still no real desire to gut the man and standing there ran a higher risk of someone seeing something that they shouldn't. It was simply self preservation that made you stand down. Besides, taking the fight with Otis would put you at odds with the entire family and isolate you once more. It was also the smarter decision.

With a roll of your shoulders, your form shrunk right back down. Though this time, the man seemed interested in the twisting, cracking of bones and stretching and thinning of flesh as things changed.

"Don't wanna fucking fight. Not you at least." A hunt would be a good thing but that didn't seem to be happening any time soon. Not with how desolate the landscape had been the last two weeks. "Let's get this inside." You could hear Spaulding laugh as Otis grunted once more. After a few more seconds, his knife finally lowered and he was inching forward once more to get the latest piece of the artwork off of the truck. This time, he was the one to hop into the bed, sliding the piece towards the edge while you kept it steady. The formaldehyde was still strong and burned but you kept a straight face this time, not at all wanting to let an inch of it slip.

There was an odd silence between all of you, something that you were not keen on breaking right then and there. Carrying the piece inside with Otis, Spaulding directed you on where it was going to be set, leading you further into the place than you had ventured before.

It was actually a pretty impressive set up and admittedly, if Otis was indeed the one making them and not just transporting them, he was pretty damn talented. Twisted, but incredibly talented. Something that you could appreciate as you stepped back once it was in place.

One more step back and your back met the chest of a warm body. It certainly wasn’t Spaulding. Otis wrapped an arm around your waist, chin resting on your shoulder as he looked at the piece with you. He smelled of death and the farm that he lived on, a combination that wasn’t really that off putting, even if you would have preferred to not be in the man’s grasp. The hold was tight, signalling that he wasn’t planning on letting you go any time soon. Breaking out of the grasp might just cause another fight and really, you didn’t want to hear Spaulding bitch about anything breaking.

“Have to admit, it’s pretty damn impressive,” you found yourself murmuring as a way to break the silence. “I don’t got the eye for it. Never have, even if I have wanted to.” His fingers were trailing along your stomach. Not an entirely unpleasant feeling. Maybe you really had been devoid of touch too long.

“You two get fucking moving! I got a customer!” Spaulding’s voice rang out. You pulled away from the man, who was caught off guard by the sudden action, his fingers grasping tightly at your shirt, clearly not wanting to let you away. But it didn’t matter. The potential meal was too enticing.

“All right, fuck calm down!” Otis called back to the other before turning his attention back to you. “You wanna stick around and not end up a part of this? Let’s see what you got.” Grinning, that was a challenge that you were all too happy to meet.

[thyfleshc0nsumed]

I really hope I can build my own strange kinky queer family someday, thanks for sharing parts of yours! It’s sexy but also heart warming?

This is legitimately so sweet. It honestly made me tear up a little

It's weird it kinda just... Happened. I met my sweetie 5 years ago now. We met on Grindr and she brought over some drinks and I was like "oh if you're at the grocery store, can you pick me up some milk." We dated for about six months and stopped seeing each other cuz life kinda got in the way. We saw each other a handful of times over the next two years and when I moved I asked if she could help, which she did. I hadn't even realized that I had moved less than 10 mins away from where she lives (she always came to me when we were dating)

I was still madly in love with her (tbh I'm realizing that she was really my first love) and she knew she couldn't give me what I wanted from her and she told me that. I needed a couple months to feel my feelings (and also get footing in my sobriety) before I was ready to be friends. Late fall of 2022 we started hanging out sometimrs again, and then probably spring ish of 2023 I met her Daddy. She started modeling some leather for me not long after I started doing it, but it wasn't until that spike strap photoshoot in ~ Oct 2023 that things got weird in some fun ways. That was like the first time I feel like I really domd her in a way that wasn't just for the camera. Since then, it's been a rollercoaster of constantly developing so many dynamics. She's my sweetie, she's my lover, she's my auntie, she's my sub, she's my best friend, she's so many things to me.

Her and her Daddy started dating like spring of 2022 and I was maaaaad jealous, I projected allllll my insecurities onto him, despite never having met him. The first time we hung out one on one was in late July of 2023 where we went and saw a screening of a porno. After that I think we saw each other at tranny takeover nights at one of the local cruising bars and just started hanging out in group and solo settings. He's truly one of my best friends in the world, and the brother I never got to have

I met his husband (the rabbit) not too long after and we've gotten really close too. One of the most insightful people I've had the pleasure to meet in my little time on this earth. Such a profoundly compassionate person who consistently challenges me to be kinder and gentler with myself. Theyre witty without ever being unkind, and goddamn can they carry a bit. Also they're really fucking good at pointing out when I'm letting ppl be transmisogynistic towards me cuz they're hot lmfao.

I met the femme, the rabbit's girlfriend at the rabbits birthday party last November. She's such a delightful presence and really admire how strongly she stands by her values. I remember a month or two ago, I was on some fuck shit, I don't even remember what, and she was like "hey girl you're on some fuck shit." I respect the hell out of her, and am so glad she's in our weird little crew

I didn't realize what we had was a family until recently. It was a lot of things tbh but I think it was this moment I had in January that really showed me. I was having the worst mental health moment I had had in probably a year. I was feeling so unstable. I was out and I was feeling impulsive. I was planning on either going and getting fucked by some guys at the cruising bar or getting in the lake with my clothes on. The daddy told me to come over cuz I clearly wasn't okay. I did. By the time I got to their spot it was probably 11p and I was nonverbal. The rabbit made me a bagel. The daddy got me a stuffed animal to squeeze. It was probably 45 minutes before I got even a single word out. And they were fine with that. They didn't pressure me to talk, but they didn't ignore me either. They let me be with them the way I needed to be. And when I was ready to talk, I was met with such compassion and emotional intelligence and love. I was taken care of in ways a family does.

Idk. This was long. And maybe over share y. I just. I fucking love these people so much and it kinda all spilled out.

[thecoffeelovingfreak]

𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒚 𝒔𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝒐𝒇 𝒂 𝒈𝒊𝒓𝒍

chapter III of and her heart is a bird on a spit in her chest

Pairing: Teenage!Arlecchino x gn!Teenage!Reader

Genres: angst, fluff, hurt/comfort, strangers to friends to lovers

Word count: 3.4k

Warnings: alluded prisoner mistreatment, mentions of fire and burns, murder, violence, brief nightmare

1 | 2 | 4 | 5 | 6 | epilogue

~~~

5 YEARS AGO

The underground cells of Brume de Lys’ superior court carried a stifling and scrambling feeling. Your motivations for visiting them only added to the stress you were experiencing as you hurriedly traveled the halls. Your father was being kept here somewhere, and you were determined to find him. The light padding of your feet against the stone echoed your heartbeat as your shadow moved under the dim lighting. You turned down a darker hallway, looking up at some of the bulbs that had blown out. While you were momentarily distracted, a hand seized yours.

You pivoted, shocked, trying to remove your hand from the stranger’s clawed grip.

“Could…” the stranger began, before swallowing and clearing their throat. “Could you get me some water, please?”

Black and red eyes looked at you heavily under the faint light, exhaustion evident in their tired gaze. Long white and dark grey hair fell messily over their shoulders, and you felt even more surprised upon recognizing how young the stranger was.

“Do you have something for me to put the water in?” you whispered, coming closer to their cell.

They looked stunned for a moment, before releasing your hand and rapidly turning around, tearing through the few objects in the cell and casting grey ashes into the air. By some miracle, they returned with a cup.

“Can you keep a secret for me?” you asked, sliding your hand through the bars.

The stranger looked apprehensive before nodding.

With their affirmation, you summoned a steady stream of water into their cup. Their eyes grew increasingly relieved, and when the flow finished they eagerly drank from the cup. Your view drifted behind them for a moment and you noticed a peculiar singe to their mattress. It seemed that part of their hair was burnt too, you realized as you refilled their cup. You wondered if it was a punishment or an involvement with pyro.

Despite the contrast of your elements, something about them seemed complimentary to you.

~

You had spent a week observing the guard’s schedule at the cells, your mind not able to rest after meeting the stranger. A small satchel hung over your shoulders containing various supplies and necessities you might need for your visit today.

The doors wouldn’t relock until a maximum of ten seconds passed, so when a guard quickly left through one of the heavy doors, you made your move and snuck in. The interior of the cells was patrolled less often than the exterior, or maybe it was simply just the area you were in. You did your best to follow a familiar path throughout the halls, but you were truly unsure of where you were. That is until a familiar clawed hand grasped for you again.

“You’re back,” they said, a hint of disbelief in their tone.

“I am,” you replied reassuringly. “Though I’m not sure how long I’ll be able to stay.”

You moved to open your satchel and the stranger let go of your hand. You pulled out a small quart canteen and passed it through the bars before pulling out a pair of scissors you had stolen from the barber.

“Would you like me to trim your hair? I saw the ends were singed.” you queried.

The stranger took a break from drinking, their brows slightly furrowed, “I would like that,” they replied sincerely. Turning around, they gave you the minimal access available to their dirtied white hair.

You took small sections in your hand, doing your best to provide a decent cut in the limited time you had. By the time you finished, their hair was partly leveled near their shoulders. You did your best to lean down and gather the trimmings, placing them haphazardly in your satchel before spreading the remaining bits around with your hands and shoes, trying to hide the evidence. The stranger's hands passed through the bars again, giving you back the canteen before curling around the metal.

You placed the supplies back into your satchel before looking back up at their hands. Light burns contrasted with the jet-black skin, and you asked if they would like you to apply an ointment. They said yes. You pulled out a small cream-filled jar and opened it, taking one of their hands in yours and spreading the cream over afflicted areas. When you moved on to the next, their voice sounded again.

“Thank you for helping me.”

You glanced up at their face, seeing a small spark of light in their formerly void eyes.

“You’re welcome,” you responded, happy that your kindness could help.

~

The arrangement continued on like that for three weeks, with you arriving twice a week and always with something new. You would bring water, food you could scrounge up, and ointment with you, but by the second week of your visits, you brought pamphlets you had stolen from the city bookstore. They shared local politics, updates on world events, and the opinions of those popular in high society. It was something the stranger, Manon, as they shared, had quickly grown interested in. It was endearing – the way they would excitedly share some of the information with you and ask for your thoughts. Your visits served as an escape for you both, but three weeks later, something changed.

A new prisoner was in their cell. You asked the new suspect where they might have gone but received no answer. You left distressed that day and waited for a report in the press as to what had happened. There was no update on their case during any research you attempted to pursue. It was as if they didn’t even exist. 

Three years later, you had mostly forgotten about them, unfortunately too busy with the city’s growing struggles to dwell on a childhood friend.

—

PRESENT DAY

The morning light shone glittery across the Fleuve Sinueux’s surface, the light breeze flowing by scattering its reflection. There were a few other civilians scattered about the riverbank, wanting to find a fresh catch to cook or sell. Today you were assigned with Manon to do the same for the orphanage.

You sat next to her on a large tree root with a small picnic basket of snacks and a cooling container with shaved ice for the fish. Your rods were secured in the dirt just before you, but while you were busy watching them, Manon was occupied with a silver and red book. It was entitled A Compendious History of Fontainian and Snezhnayan Relations. You looked at her curiously, and after noticing your gaze, she closed the book around her index finger. 

“I see you still enjoy political science.” you teased.

“I believe I have you to blame for that,” she replied, a small smirk on her face as she looked out at the fleuve.

“Maybe you do,” you said, following her view of the winding water.

It was silent between you for a moment, before you asked, “Why Fontaine and Snezhnaya?”

She hummed before looking up at the leaves of the tree you were under. “I was born along the border of the two – you could say that’s why I am interested in their history together.” She paused. “I chose this book because I was curious to know how intertwined their economies were since they’re both the most technologically advanced nations.”

You smiled at her interest reminiscently before feeling an itch growing on your cheek. You reached up to gently rub it, trying not to disturb the scab that formed just a day ago. Manon looked over at you apologetically before the jolting of the fishing rod drew her attention back to the water. 

She quickly placed her book on top of the basket before rising while you rolled up the legs of your pants. She grabbed the rod and tugged it back, revealing a truite ambrée wiggling around in the shallow waters. You stepped into the chilled water, grabbing the fish behind its gill plate with one hand and placing the other along its belly.

Manon set down the rod as you continued supporting the fish in the water. She came back from her satchel with a small pair of scissors to cut the unfortunately deep swallowed line. After she did, you quickly lifted the fish from the water and calmly placed it in the mesh cage you had placed in the river earlier.

After wiping your hands over your pants, you decided to step a bit further into the water, looking for rocks or any little fish that might catch your eye while enjoying the weather. Your companion returned to the tree root not far from you, opening the basket and picking out a slice of pain de campagne and a handful of red grapes. She soon returned to the mesh basket to observe the truite ambrée more closely while enjoying the snack.

You stepped further into the water, looking down through the clear blue at small vairon swimming and feeding around the rocks. Something about being in the water always made you feel more level-headed, and sometimes feeling more level-headed ignited an insightful flame in your thoughts.

Those insightful thoughts couldn’t help but drift to your company, and you found yourself turning to her with a question that seemed oddly heavy for a peaceful morning.

“Do you ever imagine what our lives would be like if we were never sent to the orphanage?”

She looked at you surprised before her features solemnly mellowed. “Retrospect is something I like to avoid.” 

Her answer slightly dampened your mood, but you felt your heart beat faster as she moved closer in your direction with her toes in the water.

“Do you ever think about running away?” she asked quietly.

"Sometimes," you began, "but I've never known where I would go."

She hummed before voicing, "We could go to Snezhnaya."

"We?" you questioned stunned.

“Yes, we,” she responded simply as if the two of you together were something as clear as the river flowing around you. “I’ve been saving up money leftover from visits to the markets or individual shops to eventually leave this place. We can both use it, and we’ll get more at the next month’s shopping trip as well.” She took another step toward you, coming within arms reach. “Snezhnaya is close by, and I have the greatest understanding of the nation compared to others – besides Fontaine.”

“Then I suppose the bitter winter will be seeing us soon,” you spoke, mind racing at the prospect.

Manon smiled small, the sunlight filtering through the trees making her white hair glow. She seemed proud and almost elated – a pair of emotions that contrasted her sharp and dark features, and yet they still looked beautiful.

The excited voice of a young boy drew your attention back to the expanse of the river, where a few dozen small étoile volantes d’eau douce sparkled as they flew in and out of the water. It was a mesmerizing sight, and every person along the riverbank stopped their activities to watch it. A warm pinky linking with yours returned your gaze to your friend who had come to stand beside you. Her gaze didn’t stray from the scene, but you could see a light rose color dusted across the inner arch of her cheeks.

Although the city was approaching madness, you could feel sheltered from it all here, and that was enough of a motivation for you to entirely hold her hand with yours.

—

The few night stars twinkled brightly from their hardly visible places in the never-ending sky. Snow fell delicately with a harsh wind, disrupting the gentle scenery. Flames coated the hearth, reflecting on the windows of the cabin from which Manon gazed outside. Her clawed index and thumb fingers rolled a small jar of ashes hanging from her neck. It was a solemn reminder of a few years past – the only memory she had of her parent.

She watched as her guardian, Atlas, chopped more wood outside before gathering it and walking to the door. It was already unlocked, so she did not shift from her seat at the far end of the short dining table. Wood clobbered onto the floor and her guardian sighed.

Manon’s eyebrows furrowed upon seeing two unusual figures trekking to their cabin through the snow.

“Who’s out there?” she asked, turning around to look at Atlas.

They quickly moved to close the front door and lock it shut before joining her by the window. Their features were covered in suspicion and worry, making her feel increasingly uncomfortable. 

Carmine eyes met hers as they spoke, “Stay here. Lower yourself and do not move unless you feel it is necessary.”

Their aureate and ochre hair was slowly falling out of its tie as Atlas reached for their axe and opened the door. They hardly stepped out of it, wanting to be in front of the house but not too close to the figures.

Manon watched nervously from where she was crouched beneath the window. Her heart was racing and she began sweating. She saw Atlas speaking to the visitors, most likely hunters from the way they were dressed. Still, no hunters ever came to the top of Montagne de Charbon due to the rumors spread of it in the surrounding towns – then again, maybe it was the rumors that drew them in.

Yells and sharp clashing caused her nerves to spike, and her stomach to begin flipping. She rose from her spot and ran to the corner alongside the door. She stared into the hearth from her windowless and sheltered position, listening to the chaos unfolding outside. The cabin was cast in a yellow light from the outside, prompting a chill to run up her spine.

Atlas had either transformed or been murdered.

She took a deep breath, trying to regain her composure and prepare for the upcoming confrontation.

“Come on out, little phoenix, we know you’re in there!”

She huffed at the pathetic teasing, steeling herself for the unfortunate act she would have to commit.

The scene that greeted her when she walked out caused her eyes to widen. Blood was scattered across the pale snow, and the two hunters looked to be substantially injured. A figure of ash lay troubled on the icy ground, causing Manon’s countenance to harden upon realizing her guardian’s fate.

The voice of one of the hunters slowly drowned out as her black and red eyes became overridden with flaming carmine irises and sclera of shadow. A crown of white light showed from her scalp as her clawed black hands dripped in flames. Feathered blazing wings of ivory and gunmetal emerged from behind her.

Within three steps, she was in front of the hunters. Fire and blood cascaded over the landscape, painting and melting the snow. It was a quick process – one that the hunters stood no chance to combat in their shape. The charred shreds of their being were spread across the small plain in front of her home. Her right arm came to rest at her side as she exhaled heavily.

The incandescent state of her being tempered as she came to stand before Atlas’ ashes, her wings folding behind her.

She knew that phoenixes were immortal – it was a fact that daunted her many nights – but it still didn't quell her nerves. She exhaled shakily and uncorked the small jar hanging from her neck, bringing it down and scooping a small number of her guardian’s ashes into the jar before sealing it again.

Manon let the tears resting at the edges of her eyes fall as she jumped from the nearby cliff, flying down from her past into the town below. The one that would see her covered in blood and call her a murderer. The people that would investigate and burn her home, sending word of the scene to the nearest city who would come and take her away to her cell underneath the superior court. The place that would mistreat her and abandon her with Vivienne.

Manon startled awake with a quiet gasp, sitting up and kicking the pale bedsheet off of her body. She ran her hand over her forehead, moving the hair stuck to her forehead out of her vision. Sweat and tears coated her face and she felt the pressing urge to find fresh air.

~

It was never hard to sneak into the orphanage’s gardens, especially at night. Beneath her favorite oak tree, she had the best view of the blue stargazer lilies she had planted back in the early spring. Moonlight poured delicately through the leaves of the tree, highlighting the lilies in blanched azure. She sighed unsteadily, crossing her arms and leaning her head back onto the solid wood.

“Are you alright?” a soft voice asked from her left.

Her startled eyes moved to you, unsurely looking at her from the cobblestone path.

“Yes, I am,” she replied curtly before averting her gaze.

“You don’t sound very sure,” you shot back, walking through the smooth grass to sit beside her.

She huffed as your head fell gently onto her shoulder.

“Do you want to talk about it?” you queried calmly.

She leaned her head lightly onto yours as she whispered, “I suppose.”

It was an incredibly vulnerable moment for Manon – and a situation she was unused to – yet she felt secure enough with you to finally share what led her to the cell where you met five years ago. As she did, she felt your hand encompass hers once again, just as it did the previous day at the fleuve. Your kindness continued to show, and it was both reassuring and terrifying.

She finished her story with a deep breath, her body shaking lightly from the weakening nerves of her emotions.

“Thank you for sharing with me, Manon,” you said tenderly, running your thumb over her palm. She sniffled quietly, wiping her right cheek.

You swallowed heavily, and she took note of your diverted gaze.

With an exhale, you voiced a story of your own, “When I first met you, I was originally searching the cells for my father. We had lived in a seaside town along the Côte des Pêcheurs up until five and a half years ago. My family was involved in shady business and those deeds drove one of my father’s competitors to murder my mother. He struck back, but at that point, it was too late. My father gave me and my older brother one day to gather our belongings before he moved us here to Brume de Lys. Only two months later he was taken away by the authorities. The man who killed my mother had framed him for the crime. The only news I had gotten of his fate was by word of mouth from insiders. Fake evidence was provided to news publications and they spoke of him being sent to prison for two consecutive life sentences when actually, he was sent to a Fontainian factory located in Snezhnaya – possibly even the same one my brother is at now. That was why I was so interested in why you were studying their relations, as the link between them is even deeper than I thought.”

Manon squeezed your hand as she breathed out. She knew both nations were deeply connected – that the essence of everlasting winter was the smoke of the factory. Nonetheless, it did not ease her revelations.

“I am so very sorry that you had to go through that. I appreciate your telling me.” she voiced near silently, placing a cautious kiss on the crown of your head.

Wordlessly, Manon rose from her seat at the tree, reaching out a hand to you. Taking it, you stood up and fully intertwined your fingers, allowing her to lead you inside and warily navigate through the halls. Soon enough, you were back at your bedside.

“May I stay with you?”

Your question was a surprise to her, but she gave in, letting you crawl into her small bed. Your hands remained together as you laid side by side. When she heard light snores, she finally looked over at your resting features in the pale moonlight, her thoughts racing.

Besides Atlas and Lucette, you were the only one who had ever shown her true benevolence.

Soon enough, her notions became increasingly simple – she had already lost you once, and she was not planning on losing you again.

[elizabethsaige]

friends helping friends

Steve Harrington x Platonic!Reader, Robin Buckley x Reader

Word Count: 2425

Warnings: homophobia implied (time centric)

A/N: steve and eddie are canon in this, i just needed it after volume 2 :’( also, i just love steve and feel like he's such a redeemable person, i wanna expand on the friendship of reader and steve as much as the relationship of reader and robin

i will be probably making this into a series but i wanted to get the beginning out before i lose motivation 

*gif not mine

Family Video was unusually slow on this particular day. No one but the usual few customers have come in and out of the store, browsing the isles filled with basically any movie they could think of. You and Steve were on the schedule for the day. Usually, Robin would have been here but she wasn’t feeling that great so you decided to cover her shift. 

Although you just started at Family Video a few weeks ago, you and Steve have gotten to spend a lot of time together. You even considered him one of, if not your best friend, which would not have been the case a few years ago. Luckily for you, he had graduated from his douchebag days and now he was an alright guy.  

You’d known Steve since you were about 8 or 9 years old. Back then, you were best friends and never figured you’d be anything less. But around middle school, Steve climbed the social ladder and became popular, leaving you in the dust with all of the other “losers”, as he called them. Then around freshman year, you were unfortunately the subject of Steve, Tommy, and Carol’s bullying. Tommy and Carol, of course, did most of the work, but Steve did his fair share. The Steve you once knew was no more, instead he was someone you didn’t even recognize. 

You knew his home situation, how his dad was an asshole through and through. Steve always promised himself that he’d never become like him, but assholery apparently ran in the family. 

While he could be a total jerk, Steve really was just angry and the only way he knew how to take it out was on others. Eventually, he was broken up with by Nancy Wheeler and realized he couldn’t be the same person anymore. So, he dumped Tommy and Carol and found a few new good friends, ones that helped him work through his anger and realize he didn’t have to be like his dad anymore.

Soon after that, during junior year, Steve showed up on your front porch with flowers. The gift came with a hefty apology, saying how much he hated himself for being so cruel to you and how you didn’t deserve any of it. 

“Steve, what are you doing here?”

“I need to apologize to you, Y/N. I was an asshole to you for the past few years and you don’t have to forgive me, but I need you to know that I regret it more than anything. You were my best friend and I ruined that and I’m so so sorry. You didn’t deserve any of it.”

“Come inside, let’s talk.”

Eventually you forgave him, understanding what peer pressure and a dominating father can do to a person. He had grown and done a lot of thinking, but you still checked him any time he accidentally slipped up and said anything mean. You too had grown and learned to stand up for yourself and other people. 

The two of you hung out all the time. Well, when he wasn’t with Robin. Steve made friends with Robin Buckley, who was a “loser” like you, according to the old Steve. But once she and Steve began working together, they were inseparable. 

You didn’t really know Robin all that well. You knew she was smart and funny, and pretty, but that’s all you really knew about the girl. Steve tried to get her to hang out with you guys all the time, but Robin would always make up some lame excuse, like having to give her cat a bath. You weren’t even sure she had a cat, but if she did, that was one poor animal, considering how many times Robin had to bathe it. 

Truthfully, you figured she didn’t really like you. The few times you did hang out with her were mostly during work, and even then, she’d barely talk to you. She was always a stuttering mess, messing up her words and blushing like crazy before eventually giving up and shutting her mouth for the rest of the shift. 

And it didn’t matter how many times you asked her questions or tried to get to know her, it was always the same short answers or words that weren’t actual words. Steve would always say, “Oh, don’t mind Robin. She’s just nervous around pretty girls” to which you would roll your eyes and brush it off.

 But again, he did know her better than you, not that you didn’t want to be friends with her. She just didn’t give you the chance. 

“Y/N, pass me that tape,” Steve said, reaching his hand to the copy of The Breakfast Club sitting on the counter beside you. You grabbed the tape and lightly tossed it to him, causing him to fumble and drop the movie. 

A cackle came out of your mouth before you called him an idiot. “Thank you for that.”

“Oh it was my pleasure, really,” you replied, leaning your back against the counter. Slow days were your favorites because you got to chat with coworkers and watch movies all day long. But this one just seemed to drag by. 

Steve came around the counter and took a seat on top of it, his leg hitting your arm. “I forgot to mention, Eddie and I are going to a movie tomorrow, you should come.” 

Looking up at him, you rolled your eyes and looked back at the TV screen. “What, so I can be your third wheel? No, thank you.” 

“It’s not a third wheel if we’re not dating, Y/N. How many times do I have to tell you?”

Steve was obviously in denial about his feelings for Eddie Munson. I guess it makes sense though, no one in town would approve of two guys getting together, especially not Steve Harrington and Eddie Munson. From the outside, those two were nothing alike. But little did anyone know, they had a lot more in common than what meets the eye. 

“And how many times do I have to tell you that he’s into you? I mean, if the heart eyes weren’t an obvious giveaway, he also calls you baby girl,” you teased, making Steve look away with a blush and sputter out a quiet “whatever”.

A few teens came running into the stop, making a B-line to the copies of Sixteen Candles, before running to the counter to get them checked out.

“I think you should go for it, Steve. I mean, what do you have to lose?”

A shush came from the boy, warning you to lower your voice so the customers wouldn’t catch on.

The minute they left, you turned back around to face Steve who had his head down. “You of all people know what I have to lose. I mean, it’s not like I haven’t thought about it, but c’mon. Let’s be real,” he explained while sorting stacks of movies.

Of course you knew what he meant. Hawkins wouldn’t be Hawkins without the homophobic people that resided in it. It was definitely unfortunate that people couldn’t see past their hatred, but you were used to it. You knew that sometimes it just wasn’t worth it to try and prove to other people who were ignorant that you deserved rights just like them.

You nodded slowly, sad for your friend. “I get it, Steve. It’s scary to put yourself out there, but believe me when I say this, it’s so worth it. But I’ll leave it alone if you really want me to.”

“It’s okay, I know you’re just looking out for me. I’ll figure it out some day, but for now, are you coming with us or not? You could bring someone if you want!”

A puzzling look appeared on your face. “And who exactly would I bring? I don’t really have a long list of girls throwing themselves at me”

Steve looked your way and flashed you a knowing smiled. “Bring Robin.”

You scrunched your face in confusion. “Why would I do that? She doesn’t even like me,” you said, questioning your friend’s idea. 

Steve let out a laugh before crossing his arms across his chest. “She tell you that?” 

“Not directly, but she never talks to me and when she does, it’s always the shortest responses. And she never wants to hang out with me. Believe me, she doesn’t like me. I just..don’t know what I did.” 

An even louder laugh came from Steve as he walked over to the horror movie aisle to finish putting away scattered movies. “Okay, well not that you heard this from me, but she definitely doesn’t hate you. Like I told you, she gets nervous around pretty girls.”

Still confused, you rounded the counter and joined him, not to help with the movies, but to question him further. “I don’t understand what that has to do with anything.”

“Are you really that dense, Y/N? She likes you,” Steve said, clearly annoyed that you didn’t connect the dots. 

You shook your head, still not believing it. “I - what? No, there’s no way, she doesn’t even speak to me.”

Without turning his head, Steve side-eyed you, looking at the confused expression that he caused. The crease on your forehead was giving him a good laugh, he really thought you knew. 

“Well, she speaks of you, a lot. Like 80% of the time, you’re the topic of conversation, it’s getting kind of old honestly, so if you could do me a favor and just ask her out already, that would be great,” Steven finished the conversation before heading behind and through the door to the back room, leaving you standing there like an idiot. 

//

It’s not like you haven’t thought about it before. I mean, Robin is super pretty and like the only out lesbian in your town that you knew of, so the thought has crossed your mind once or twice. But knowing now that she liked you opened up a whole new door of possibilities. Ones you didn’t even know could become a reality for you. 

After work, Steve dropped you off at your house since you weren’t planning on needing the car you shared with your brother. 

The car pulled up your driveway and came to a stop. “Thanks for the ride.”

Steve nodded a silent “you’re welcome” to you before you opened the door to get out. Once you were out of the car and shut the door, you heard the window roll down and Steve’s voice to get your attention. 

“Hey, I was serious about asking Robin out. She really likes you, and I want you to be happy too. Listen to your own advice, what do you have to lose?” He was right, but before you could say anything, he rolled up his window. With that, he backed out of the driveway, but waited at the bottom until you got inside your house. 

You replayed his words through your head as you made your way inside and to your room, stopping by the kitchen to say hello to your mom and dad, who were cleaning up from dinner. Your dad let you know there was a plate for you in the microwave, to which you thanked them and said you’d eat in a little bit. 

As you entered your bedroom, you flipped the light switch on, illuminating your dark bedroom. Setting your things down on the floor, you sat down on your bed and reached for your landline phone that was on the nightstand.

The perks of having a job is that your parents let you have a landline in your bedroom, as they knew how much you worked and wanted to reward you. 

Your shaking hands grabbed your notebook and flipped to the page filled with all of your friend’s phone numbers, your finger sliding down the page until you found Robin’s. 

A deep sigh in and out came from you as you contemplated not giving the girl a call. 

“She really likes you, and I want you to be happy too.” 

Steve really was right, what did you have to lose? 

You dialed her number and waited as the phone rang on the line. Every ring was agonizing, you getting more nervous the longer you had to wait.

 Finally, the line clicked as someone picked up the phone. “Buckley household, what can I do for you?”

A smile came to your face as you heard the raspy voice of the girl you were trying to reach. 

“Robin! Hi, it’s Y/N!”

“Y/N? Hey, what’s up? I mean, how are you?”

You chuckled, clutching the cord of the phone and sitting back against your pillows. “I’m good, I just wanted to ask you something, if that’s okay?”

“Um, yeah, sure,” Robin said, you could tell by her voice that she was nervous.

 “So, Steve, Eddie, and I are going to the movies on Friday. Would you want to come with me so I don’t have to be their awkward third wheel?”

The silence on the other end of the line made you sweat, worrying that you said something wrong. “Robin, are you there?”

“Yes! Yes, sorry, I’m still here, I just had to make sure I heard you right.”

Nodding to yourself, you sat up and hugged your knees, resting your chin on top of them. Your thumb came to your mouth as you chewed on the finger nail nervously. 

“So, what do you say?”

“Absolutely, I - I’d love to! But, is this like a date?”

“I’d like it to be, yeah.” You could hear her smiling on the other end, if that is even possible. You yourself were cautiously grinning, hoping she’d want it to be a date too. 

“Really? I mean, yes, I’d love to go with you!” Your cheeks rose as your smile got wider, amused by her enthusiasm. 

“Cool, then it’s a date. I’ll pick you up at 6,” you said confidently, standing up from your bed.

“Rad,” was all she said before hanging up. You smiled to yourself as you put the phone back on the nightstand. 

Hearing how cute she sounded on the phone and how excited she seemed made you feel giddy, like a little kid who just asked their crush out for the first time. 

An excited feeling bubbled in your stomach as you looked at yourself in your mirror, surprised at the deep blush that had crept up on your cheeks. I made you feel silly, but also really happy. 

God, wait until Steve hears about this.

[clumsiestgiantess]

Chapter nine of the Other-world Universe; drunken shenanigans! Amongst other things. (This chapter’s one of my favorites)

all chapters linked here

[Hangover? I hardly know her]

On one boring Saturday, several weeks from my first attempt at redemption, I left for the other-world after dinner.  It seemed so much more inviting now that Erica had forgiven me.  Well, not forgiven me, actually.  It was more along the lines of facing the reality that I occasionally wandered through her world whether she wanted me there or not.  I had a better feeling about things, regardless.  I still wanted to make a better impression than I had when we first officially met.  Erica had willingly spent time with me, and she'd actually enjoyed it.  She said so herself.  The thought of that rainy day made my heart skip a beat.  Befriending the people of the other-world was a lot more gratifying than sitting around invisibly controlling them.  Albeit, it was a lot harder.

It wasn't raining that evening, but large clouds hung heavily in the air.  Erica's house was empty when I meandered past the cliffside, and I couldn't help but feel a twinge of sorrow at the sight.  What was I going to tell her, anyways? I asked myself internally.  'I came back because my world's boring and you aren't?'  No, it was for the best that she wasn't home.  I could wait for tomorrow — maybe get there a bit earlier.  I’d come later into the night, but then again, I always come around dark.  It stresses me out less and makes me feel a bit more hidden.

Wandering further through the outskirts of the city, I debated controlling someone to get closer to its center.  However, since everything that happened, I was really trying to be less lenient with my own rules.  'Absolutely necessary' was already vague enough.  Deep in thought, I stumbled over a car in the street, not even realizing it had turned down the road I was walking on.  I glanced backwards to find the vehicle flipped upside down in the road behind me.  Too many bystanders had seen it happen, though.  This was a residential area, and people were already flocking out of their homes to witness the damage.  Like so many other accidents I'd caused, I could do nothing to help without making a scene.

I guiltily slunk off to a different, less inhabited place.  The streets were filled with pawn shops and sketchy offices that were most likely fronts for a plethora of illegal things.  I quickly moved on from that section and continued around the outside of the city.  After finding nothing of particular interest, I was ready to call it a night and head back to my own world.  A split second from vanishing away, I felt a magnetic-esque tug.  Erica.  Should I look for her?  Will she think I’m stalking her if I do?  In the end, I decided to just check in on her, then head back home.  Strange streets slowly became more recognizable as I traversed the roadways trying to follow my and Erica's sixth sense.

Once the old club came into view, I picked up the pace, suddenly realizing where she must be.  Erica was nowhere in sight when I arrived, and I had to wait later into the dark morning for her to emerge from the building.  This time, she actually recognized her car, so I assumed she wasn't too buzzed.  However, the second her car was running, she proceeded to put it into drive rather than reverse.  She came horribly close to smashing directly into the car parked in front of her.  Thankfully, my reflexes reacted before my brain did.  I quickly stopped the vehicle in its tracks with a free hand.  Eyeing the empty streets for any passerby, I brought her car to the empty lot I'd sat in to watch the city over a year ago — only a block or two down the street.  It took a few moments after I'd placed it down, but Erica eventually stepped out of her car and looked around the lot, confused.  "This isn't my house," she stated confusedly after examining the darkening streets.

Oh boy.  "Erica, what are you doing trying to drive this drunk?" I asked quietly, slightly exasperated, "Weren't you already arrested for doing this?"   She whirled around towards the sound of my voice, glancing around the dark with a bewildered expression.  "H- hello?  God, is that you?"  Shortly afterwards, she dissolved into a mess of giggles and slumped back down into the driver's seat.  "Don't take me yet!" Erica exclaimed drunkenly, "Wait until the hangover starts, then I'll want to leave."  Sighing, I kneeled on the concrete and considered my options.  I couldn’t leave Erica in the lot; she was far too drunk to stay by herself in the city, especially at night.  My first thought was to take her home myself, but that meant I’d have to pick her up either in her car or just in my hand.  I knew for a fact that sober Erica would passionately refuse both options.

Taking her car was basically out of the question, though.  It would be way too risky trying to hide it from the view of all the people in the other-world who might look up and spot it, even if it was the dead of night.  The only way to get Erica home is to carry her there.  I debated my decision for a moment.  “Erica, can you come out of the car for a second?  I- I need to take you home, but I’m honestly not sure how.”  Erica shrugged and stepped off her seat, stumbling on the cracked cement.  Hesitating a few times, I reached for her.  Unfortunately, I had to keep myself invisible in the outskirts of the city.  Erica would have a fit if I were to try this while she was sober, but I had no other choice.  

My fingers slowly curled around Erica’s torso, lifting her a few inches into the air.  The second her feet left the ground, she shrieked like she was being murdered.  I quickly set her back down, regretfully watching as she scrambled behind her car for safety.  Her bubbly mood was replaced with a newly terrified one.  It was heartbreaking; all her newfound trust in me was instantly revoked.

Erica’s frightened voice echoed from her hiding spot.  “I can’t be controlled again.  Please, it has to stop.  I don’t want to be a puppet.”  She sounded like she was on the verge of tears.  Was she really this scared of me, or is that the alcohol talking?  Sitting up as much as I could without fully standing, I surveyed the area for people.  Streetlights and neon signs hummed with life, but otherwise the surrounding streets were completely dead.  Tentatively, I came out of invisibility.  “Erica,” I called softly, “It’s just me.  I won’t control you, I promise.”  Her head popped up from her hiding place behind her car.  “You’re not?” she asked, looking me over warily.  I shook my head and she slid out of hiding.

Erica meandered around the lot for about 20 minutes afterwards, blabbering drunken nonsense and pacing around aimlessly.  She tried twice to drive home, but I refused to let her get in her car.  I’d quickly slide my hand over the door every time I saw Erica make a move towards it.  The second time I blocked her, she pressed herself into my fingers, trying to force them apart so she could get past them.  It was strangely adorable, but I still refused to let her in.  Driving in her disoriented state was basically a death sentence.  

“Come on,” she whined, “I wanna go home already!”  “I can’t let you drive this drunk,” I replied.  She sighed, giving one last attempt to pry my fingers free.  Finally, she sat down tiredly on the back of her car.  A few minutes later, Erica nearly slid off her seat in drowsiness.  I quickly reached over and caught her before she got a face full of cement.

Immediately, Erica slid out of my grip and hurried to the newly opened doorway.  At that point, I was worried I might have to hold her car aloft to stop her from using it.  However, Erica paused at the door, hand hovering over its handle.  Slowly, she turned to look up at my exhausted expression.  "You're..." she paused, considering my large form sitting cross-legged in the lot, taking up more than half the empty space.  "You're my friend, right?  I can trust you?"  

I was baffled by her questions, but immediately had the answer.  "Of course you can trust me."  Erica gave me an oblivious, innocent smile, "That's good.  I like you.  I'd invite you over to my house, but you won't let me go."  She wandered over to my hand, laying back on it like a bed.  "Guess I'll just sleep here tonight.  But I’m going to make it your problem."  I sat stunned while Erica rambled on in a half asleep voice.  In her slightly delirious state, she'd asked me where my house was and questioned whether I even had one or just slept in the mountains somewhere.  Before I could try to explain my situation to her, she'd fallen asleep.

After a few minutes, I bent over to see her closer, fingers cupping around her ever so slightly.  I didn't dare get too close though, just in case she woke up and my closeness scared her.  Butterflies flitted around my chest as I gazed down at Erica tucked sleepily in my palm.  I gushed over how sweet a moment it was before realizing something like that would probably never happen again.  Once she sobered up, I doubted Erica would ever be that trusting of me.  I can enjoy this moment now, though.  Before it ends, and I go back to being seen as an 'untrustworthy monster' not a 'safe friend'.

My pulse quickened slightly as I felt Erica shift unconsciously on my palm.  Her arm slid over my thumb, pulling it closer to herself as she nestled her head on the pad of another finger.  The feeling was so overwhelming, I felt my eyes tearing up.  Seeing her sleeping soundly was making me doubly tired.  It was definitely well past midnight, and I still hadn’t slept, myself.  Even when I closed my eyes to get some rest, there would always be some suspicious sounds out on the street or a slight movement from Erica, and I'd suddenly be woken again.

Eventually, I must've fallen asleep, because when I woke up the sun had drifted above the horizon.  My heart dropped in panic as I quickly became invisible once more.  Hopefully no one had spotted me while I was sleeping.  Erica was still out cold, so I slid my hoodie out from its previous use as a pillow for myself, and placed it on the ground with Erica on top of it.  My hand prickled awfully from the loss of blood over the course of the night.  I had to hold it still for hours so Erica wouldn't wake up.  As I shook out my hand and bent my fingers to get them back to normal, I pulled away from the building behind me to check how much damage I'd undoubtedly caused by leaning against it.  There was a large dent in its side where my back rested.  Thankfully, the building looked long abandoned.

Early city sounds started up for the day, and I rubbed the sleep from my eyes.  Horns blared in the direction of the highway, and a flock of tiny pigeons scattered into the sky.  Suddenly, a small yelp startled me mid-yawn.  I glanced over at my hoodie where Erica was now sitting upright in confusion.  "What-  Where am I?  What happened?  Alexis, are you-"  "I'm here," I replied softly, not wanting to draw too much attention to myself.  Erica flinched slightly at my voice before calming down once she recognized it.  A few seconds passed as she stared into the distance, possibly remembering vague details from the night before.  

"You.. wouldn't let me drive home last night..."  "Because you were ridiculously drunk and almost crashed within five seconds of trying to drive," I finished.  Erica sucked in a pained breath of air as she clutched her head and slowly laid back down.  "Fucking hangover," she cursed under her breath.  "I think the drinks might’ve been spiked.  I.. I really shouldn’t keep going back there.”  She rolled over and clutched fistfuls of my hoodie closer to herself. “Thank you though, for keeping me off the road.  I could've died; I wasn't really thinking." I smiled, breathing in the early morning air.  "You're welcome."

"I have some water in my car," Erica realized aloud.  "If I could just get it..."  I would offer to get it for her, but I doubted I could get to the bottle without accidentally tearing the door off.  We sat in the lot for some time, Erica trying to power through her headache long enough to make it to her car.  She got two thirds of the way there before doubling over in pain.  I had to reach out and catch her before she fell to the ground.  Erica froze when she felt my fingers hoist her back up, but she quickly got over it and made her way into the driver's seat with my help.  Finally, she got out the bottle and swallowed a few sips, slumping over in pain and exhaustion afterwards.

I noticed her cast a longing stare directed at my hoodie.  Erica wanted to lie back down, but didn't want to keep me here longer than she already had.  She sat sideways, legs still dangling out of the car, and looked up in my direction.  "Did I-” she stopped for a second then started her sentence again.  "I don't remember much of last night, but.. did I fall asleep in your hand?" she asked hesitantly.  "Yes," I confessed, "You wanted somewhere to sleep, and since I didn't let you into the car…"  "I'm sorry," Erica interjected, "That's.. embarrassing, I'm so sorry.  I kept you here all night."  I let out a breathy laugh, "No, it's fine Erica.  I really didn't mind!  It's not like anyone's missing me back home."  She seemed slightly concerned for a moment, sitting up to get off her seat before letting out a small yelp of pain and reaching for her temples, again staring longingly at the comfortable pile of fabric a few feet away.

"Hold out your hand," I instructed.  Shockingly, Erica made no argument.  Her tiny digits brushed over the pads of my own, leaning her weight onto me.  Gently, I hauled her up out of her seat.  With small careful movements, I managed to guide her back to my hoodie so she could lay down again.  With a wan smile, she burrowed herself in its folds.  "Did you know I'd be out drinking last night?" Erica asked after laying there for a while, her eyes closed in a half-sleep.  "No, I was just sightseeing in the city again," I answered honestly, "I was about to leave when I felt you were nearby and went to investigate."  

"By 'investigate', do you mean 'spy on me'?"  When I answered with a dull silence, she opened her eyes and sat up slightly to look at me.  Well, to look at the empty space that I sat in.  "That was supposed to be a joke, sorry.  I wasn't trying to chastise you."  This was new.  I don't think Erica had ever apologized to me before.  Not that she had anything to apologize for.  "I'm just glad I came when I did," I replied, "before anything happened."  She must've sensed my tone shift a bit, because she frowned at me and stood slightly before realizing that wasn't helping her headache.  "You were worried about me?"  Erica asked, looking slightly flattered.  "That's.. really sweet of you."

I nodded vigorously, though Erica couldn't see me.  "Of course I was worried about you!" I exclaimed before realizing I should probably keep my voice a bit quieter.  It hurt my throat, but it probably kept me a bit more secretive.  Even if it didn’t, whispering would also be better for Erica’s headache regardless.  "Imagine how awful I'd feel if I came back to the mansion to visit and you weren't there.  I guess I would think you blew me off, but I'd really start to worry once you were gone for weeks afterward."  

Erica sat silently for a bit, deep in thought.  "I..." she started, "I guess I didn't realize you cared about me that much."  A long silence followed, her last words resonating in the empty air.  Erica's expression became clouded with emotions I couldn't quite read.  "Are you alright?" I asked uncertainly.  The silence broken, Erica shook herself off and straightened up.  "Yeah, I'm just thinking.  I really should head home, though."  "Alright, I guess I'll do that too.  Do you need help?"  She shook her head and stood slowly, "I should be alright until I get home."  I watched her return to the driver's seat, readily waiting to catch her if she fell.

Before closing the car door, Erica slowly turned to look at me.  "Thank you, again, for dealing with me last night.  I swear I'll try not to get that drunk from now on.  It’s not that I want to, it just kinda.. happens, I guess."  I laughed slightly, "You work on that."  Erica started up the car, smiling lightheartedly.  With a little wave, she drove off back to the mansion, leaving me behind on the cracked concrete lot.  Just in case, I trailed her car from a distance.  She said she was alright to drive, but I wanted to make sure she made it home safely before I left.

I could barely sleep that evening, far too awake thanks to the events of the day, along with the fact that I’d just woken up.  Erica had trusted me so wholly that she’d slept in my hand.  I felt giddy just thinking about it, but at the same time, I had to come to terms with the fact that the incident had everything to do with the alcohol and whatever else she’d consumed and nothing to do with her actual trust in me.  However, even when she’d slept it all off, Erica had still trusted me enough to touch her that morning.  

I hadn’t touched her or even got very close to her since I’d grabbed her during our first true meeting.  She made it crystal clear that she didn’t want my massive appendages anywhere near her since then.  That was until just this morning, when she’d willingly taken my hand.  It might’ve just been Erica being in too much pain to be stingy, but she was stubborn; if she didn’t want to do something, it was near impossible to get her to change her mind.  The only reason I say near is because of my abilities, but using those was obviously out of the question.

Exited that Erica finally seemed to be warming up to me, I eagerly returned on the following Saturday.  I’d chosen Saturdays simply because they were the day I had the most free time.  I raced downstairs right after lunch and zapped off to the other-world, almost jogging to the cliffside before realizing the tremors I would undoubtedly cause.  Stepping up to the mansion, I found Erica on the phone with someone inside.  Resting on the cliffside a bit further down, I waited for Erica to finish the call and come to the door.  It was taking a suspiciously long time for her to get there, so I began wandering off to the areas nearby.  

Eventually, I noticed the glass door, which had now been fixed, sliding open.  Erica stepped hesitantly onto the patio outside.  "Alexis?  Are you out here?"  I made my way over to the mansion again.  "Yeah," I answered, "It's Saturday.  I'm here."  My sudden voice caused Erica to jump a few feet in the air.  Her face scrunched up in thought, “You came today?  It’s.. not the best time for me.  I have errands to run today."  I stared blankly at her, suddenly feeling very awkward.  "I.. oh."  I felt so stupid — it was all I could say.  “N- Nevermind.  Sorry to bother you.”

Erica snickered, shaking her head slightly in embarrassment for me.  She thought for a moment, then made a small 'aha' gesture.  "Hey, you know what?  While you're here, do you think you could help out with stuff?  I was just on the phone with a decor store.  See, I have this new couch coming, but the store's being big jerks about it and they won't deliver it for me.  They said they'd have someone help load it into my car, but.."  She stepped out a ways, gesturing to her two-seater sports car parked in the driveway.  Its trunk was only a few feet long, and that was in other-world measurements.  "It won't exactly fit.  I told them that, but I don't think the lady on the phone particularly gave a shit, so.. I'm thinking maybe, while you're here and everything, you can get the couch for me?"  

I mulled her idea over.  I don't really have anything else to do, and I was planning to spend the rest of the day here anyway.  "Well, I can't just go there and get it by myself, you have to go and claim it."  Erica waved a hand to shush me, "Yeah, yeah, I know.  I'm coming too.  I just need someone to take the couch."  "Alright," I agreed, "I'll help out.  I was planning to be here today, anyway."  My agreeance was instantly rewarded with a rare genuine smile from Erica, which was compensation enough for me.

It took Erica a few minutes to get herself ready, but soon we hit the road.  Well, she hit the road and I followed from a distance.  I was still amazed by how easily I could keep up with vehicles like her car.  Technically they were only toy-sized so I guessed it made sense.  We had to diverge paths for a bit when the highway turned through a forested area I couldn’t walk in, but using our sixth sense, I was still able to follow her despite not being able to see her.  When she got to the parking lot, she took a space at the very far end.  

“Alexis?” Erica called, stepping out of the car.  “I’m here,” I replied quietly, kneeling down.  There was an empty dog walk beside the lot on this side that gave me just enough room to stay.  Erica had probably parked all the way over here because of it.  “I’m going to have them leave the couch out on the corner over there.  Do you think you could take it without anyone noticing?”  “In front of the entire parking lot?” I asked skeptically, looking out over the stretch of asphalt and cars, "I'll try."  Soon, the new couch was brought out to the corner.  Erica told the employees who took it out there that a truck would be coming by any second to take it, but they insisted on waiting for it to arrive so they could load it inside.  It was their policy or whatnot.

Erica began to get annoyed, realizing that they would get suspicious when no one actually showed up.  Spying a van nearby, I got an idea.  I made sure Erica was preoccupied with the moving guys before stepping over and latching onto the driver.  I had them pull up to where the couch was waiting, then call out to the movers and Erica.  ("I'm here!  Is this the couch?")  Erica's eyes went wide in shock, her face paling as she rapidly figured out what I’d done.  I instantly regretted my decision, but the two movers got right to work placing things inside.  

The moment they left, Erica glared at me through the person she realized I must be controlling.  "My car.  Now."  I hesitated, but begrudgingly had the person drive out and park beside her fancy red sports car.  Erica marched up to the driver, "What the hell is wrong with you?  I thought you weren't doing any of this shit anymore!"  It was weird watching her yell at the innocent person I was controlling instead of my actual self, who was watching invisibly from above.  ("They weren't going to leave, so I thought this might help,") I explained.  She stared at the driver a moment, "Can.. Can whoever you're controlling see what's happening right now?  I remember it was like spacing out and watching things happen around me…”  Her expression shifted from anxious to enraged in a matter of seconds.  “Alexis, you can't do this to people!"  ("I know, I know.  I just need to do one thing, then they'll go off and forget this ever happened.")

Erica stood irritated the entire time as I, myself, got the couch out of the van.  Quickly, I had the driver pull away and forget the last few minutes.  "See, they're gone.  It's like they were never here," I said quietly.  I knew what I did was not going to be cast aside that easily.  "Can we just… go back to the mansion and I can explain-"  "Explain what?  You controlled someone right in front of me!"  "Erica, I controlled them for five minutes.  They were completely fine and I did nothing to hurt them.  I- I understand that what I did to you was very wrong, but it wasn't like that.  I had someone do us a favor, and that's all."  "Just bring the damn couch home."  Erica slammed her car door and sped away before I could reply.  I took up the piece of furniture and held it beneath my shirt to keep it hidden.  

I stood in numb shock as I watched Erica’s car disappear down the freeway.  What was I thinking, controlling someone in front of her, even if it was only for a moment?  On my way back, I realized that without my sixth sense to guide me, I was a bit lost.  I followed the trail of places I recognized, unsure whether I recognized them from the trip today or from another time.  The sudden sound of something ripping apart startled me from my pensive mood.  I nearly tripped over a stoplight when I looked up.  

A pitch-black tear broke through the sky to my right.  It was as if the atmosphere itself had been cut open, filled with a gaping black void of whatever was inside.  There were only two or three other cars on this backroad, but everyone who saw it stopped and watched in frightened awe.  The tear looked exactly like the strange instance of black lightning I’d noticed from a distance a long time ago.  I’d completely forgotten about it until then.  Now that it had opened a yard or so away from me, I realized that the strange phenomenon was definitely not natural.

A few seconds of stunned silence later, the tear slowly closed back in on itself, sealing up the sky once more.  What in the world was that!?  Clearly, no one else seemed to know either.  A crowd of bystanders formed in the street by their abandoned vehicles, debating over what exactly they’d witnessed.  Talk of aliens and dark magic drifted to my ears from the road below me.  Whatever strange things were going on, this time, they were not my fault.  Not wanting to stick around in case any government agencies came looking, I backed off and continued the long walk to the mansion.

When I got back, Erica was there waiting for me.  Silently, she opened the back doors and pointed inside to where the old couch used to be.  I delicately placed it inside like you would a piece of dollhouse furniture.  It wasn't completely dark yet, but it was getting there.  It had taken me a while to find my way back without Erica to guide me.  Her back was turned and it looked as if she might shut the back doors on me, so I quickly shifted to visibility.

"Erica, I'm sorry.  I'm so, so sorry," I pleaded, "It's not fair what I did.  It should never have been that long, I- I just got into the habit and didn't stop…"  She turned around to face me.  My eyes were brimming with tears, and I was gripping the cliffside so hard that chunks of rock came away in my hands.  "You're not talking about today, are you?" Erica asked, leaning tiredly against the doorframe.  I shook my head, bending down to look her in the eyes.  "You.. didn't deserve that.  I stole eight months of your life, and I convinced myself that you were better off because of it…"  I took a shuddering breath and continued.  "I don't want to scare you or hurt you, I promise."  

There was a long moment of dull silence where I could've sworn Erica would tell me to leave her alone, but all she did was sigh and step inside.  My stomach plummeted.  I stepped away, trying desperately to keep myself from full-on crying.  I had come so close.  "Hey, I'm-  I'm still here," a whisper echoed from the second floor of the mansion.  "I just came up here to talk to you easier."  I wiped the tears from my face as best as I could in the pitch dark of the coming night before stepping into the light of the house.

"You genuinely care about me, right?" Erica asked once I came back over.  I nodded furiously.  "You're lucky that I care about you, too.  We’re friends, which means we’re supposed to look out for each other.  So just.. Please don't control people anymore.  It’s not right and it freaks me out."  She crossed her arms defiantly, "And if I ever see you do anything like that again, even if it's for a few minutes, even if a person isn't affected by it in the slightest, that's it.  You and I are done."  I blinked, slightly astounded despite my awful predicament.  "There's.. there's a you and me?  We’re friends?"  Erica rolled her eyes, "That's what you got out of all this?  You know what, maybe there isn't a you and me after all."  "No, no!" I backtracked, "I agree with what you said before, I won't control anyone again!”  "You better not," she chided, pointing a finger at me, "Or else."

I stood feeling chastised while Erica glanced awkwardly back into her house.  “I should really go make dinner," she mused, more to herself than to me.  "I haven’t had anything to eat since eleven o’clock this morning.  I’d order in because I really don’t feel like cooking, but I did that yesterday.”  I stood up so fast, Erica flinched.  “I can get us something to eat!”  Instantly, I vanished into my world and grabbed the backpack I’d been planning to bring.  A few sandwiches were packed inside.  

Moments later, I was back at the mansion.  Erica still stood hesitantly on the balcony.  “It.. might be a bit too much, but I have these,” I said, offering her one of the sandwiches.  It occurred to me then that I probably seemed a bit desperate to make amends by doing this.  I watched Erica’s expression.  She mostly seemed shook by the fact that I had a sandwich the length of the room behind her.  ���Are you trying to win me back with food?” she questioned, glancing at me smugly.  I looked away, embarrassed, “I just.. don’t want you to be mad.”  “Then maybe you should listen to me the next time I tell you not to do something.”

“Ok..” I answered guiltily, letting the sandwich fall to my side in my hand.  She did have the right to refuse my peace offering.  “Woah, wait,” Erica stopped me, “I take bribes, hand that back.”  At her sudden remark, I let out a surprised laugh and took the sandwich out of the bag it was in, breaking off a piece that would be semi-manageable for her.  “Here you go, then,” I offered it to her.  We spent the rest of the evening eating and talking until we both started getting tired.  Before I could say my goodbyes, Erica stopped me.

“I.. You..."  Erica paused, mouth opening and closing silently as she searched for a way to tell me what was on her mind.  "You’re not controlling me anymore, are you?  And then making me forget?”  “What?” I asked, genuinely confused.  “L- Like that guy in the parking lot?  You made him forget about what he did.”  I leaned over to rest my head on my hands, propped up on the side lawn.  “Why would I want to control you?” I asked her earnestly, “What would I possibly hope to gain from doing that to you now?”  

Erica hesitated, thinking.  “I only did that to make you live an easier life.  Now that I know I was only making things harder for you, why would I keep doing it?”  She sighed, resting her head face down on the railing in front of her, staring silently at the floor for a while.  “I guess that makes sense.  And I don’t have any strange gaps in my memory like I used to.  That.. was you making me forget stuff, I think.  Some people just don’t care about others’ opinions, you know?” she explained, “I just wanted to know if you listened to me about that at the very least.”

I nodded, understanding.  Slowly, I shifted back upright.  It had to be scary — realizing that someone could take a part of your life away without you even knowing about it, or knowing what that piece of your life was for that matter.  “I swear on my life that I haven’t controlled you since the night you called me out on it,” I promised.  Erica’s head lifted, and she scrutinized my expression, searching for the truth.  “I believe you,” she said after a brief silence.  “And if I need anything in the future, like.. I don’t know.. Iike how you forced John to leave me alone, or when you stopped me from getting in a drunken accident a week ago, you’ll still be here, right?”  

“I’ll be around,” I answered.  “Every day I’ll come over here for a minute or two, probably right before I go to bed.  I’ll come check on you, and if you need anything, you can let me know, and I’ll see what I can do.  How does that sound?”  Erica let out a relieved breath, “It sounds like the right way to help me fix my life.  Thank you.  I- I guess it was wrong of me to tell you I wanted you to stop controlling people, end of story, because I agree that it is a useful ability.  So maybe you should only do it if I ask you to?  I don’t know, it just.. it scares me.”  I so badly wanted to hug her.  My hands twitched at the thought, inching closer before realizing she probably wouldn’t enjoy my giant form encroaching in her small space.

Hesitantly, I brought a hand over to the balcony and reached out a single finger instead.  “You shouldn’t have to be scared when I do that.  I want you to know for certain that I will never ever even try to control you.”  Erica stepped backwards in concern, unsure what I intended to do as I got closer.  When I paused right in front of her, her eyes widened slightly, and she stared at the outstretched digit in awe.  Slowly, Erica’s gaze lifted to meet mine.  “It’s alright,” I told her softly.  With a shaking hand, Erica reached out and delicately put her hand over the pad of my upturned finger, mouth dropping open slightly in wonder.  She dazedly traced the swirling marks of my fingerprint, shook by something so much larger in scale.

A brief moment later, I took back my arm, leaving Erica standing there speechless.  “I’ll be back tomorrow,” I promised, “to check on you like you asked.”  I backed off the cliffside and smiled at her hopeful gaze.  After a small goodbye, I left for my own world with Erica still standing wide-eyed on her balcony.

The following few months were filled with similar affairs.  Erica and I got together for a few meals, and she’d started letting me in on a few things that had been happening in her life that she’d previously kept hidden.  She admitted she’d been afraid that I’d mess with things again if she told me about them — a subtle hint to the fact that she was no longer afraid of my ability to do so, and realized that I really did never intend to use it on her again.  

Once we even had an accidental meeting when her car died in the back roads by her house.  It was deathly hot out now that summer was coming, and without any air conditioning, it was stifling.  Thankfully, I came by a little while after the car died.  I’d already been to her house and decided to walk back through the mountains where there was a bit more of a breeze, only to find Erica’s very noticeable car on the side of the road there.  Erica had been halfway passed out from the heat by the time I found her.  Her phone had died as she tried to call a towing company because she spent all her time trying to find a well-reviewed one.  

Hesitantly, I'd asked if she wanted me to get someone to help, but she strongly refused, knowing that meant I'd have to control someone again.  Even when her life might depend on it, Erica refused to break her own rules — something I seemed to be in the habit of doing, though I was getting better at it.  All she’d done was tell me: "I'd be too nervous sitting in someone else's car while you're controlling them," and I immediately halted mid-argument.  If Erica wasn’t comfortable with it, then neither was I.

I ended up taking the car back to the house with her inside it — a quick transport to the air-conditioned mansion.  Erica was thankful for the lift, even though she didn’t approve of my methods whatsoever.  I had to argue with her for fifteen minutes straight just to convince her that I wouldn’t accidentally drop her.  Erica claimed she nearly had a heart attack when I picked up the vehicle without warning.  Still, she thanked me with a gift: a bottle of champagne.

“My last bottle of alcohol in the house,” Erica admitted, “It’s yours.”  She handed me the tiny bottle, which couldn’t have been more than an inch long.  “I’m finally going sober.”  Erica beamed up at me; her eyes shone with an excitement I'd never seen before, even when I showed up to meals with oversized food from my own world.  Ever since I’d brought her that sandwich, it was like she’d finally realized that I had a whole world full of comparatively gigantic things.  Many of my recent trips, I’d brought along either food or an item for Erica to mess with.  She’d practically fainted when I came with a full-sized tube of lipstick a few days ago.  It was nearly as tall as she was, and she’d made a huge mess of it when she tried to use it herself, staining her outfit red, permanently.

Now, I stared down at the tiny champagne bottle in my hands, feeling the same strange wonder of seeing something normal at an entirely different scale.  "How about you start that tomorrow?" I asked, referring to Erica’s remark about being sober, "Go inside and get yourself a glass, will you?"  Erica nodded happily and disappeared into the mansion, returning with one of her champagne glasses.  She took the bottle from me and poured herself a cup, carefully handing it back so it wouldn't spill.  Taking the bottle between two fingers, I held it up to Erica's glass.  "Cheers," I announced, "to you finally getting your life back."  "Oh, I'll definitely drink to that," Erica remarked, clinking her glass with mine before taking a sip.  I took the wine bottle and poured the entire thing into my mouth.  It was barely more than a sip, but it tasted good.  It occurred to me then that I wasn’t supposed to be drinking alcohol; I was only a few months into being eighteen.  It wasn’t much, and I didn’t really care, but still.

It also occurred to me that I had no idea how old Erica was.  She didn’t look that much older than me, but I’d never asked.  “Erica,” I began, resting myself on the edge of the cliff so my head was even with the patio.  “How old are you?”  She froze mid-sip and glanced over at me.  “Why do you ask?”  “I just realized that I technically shouldn’t even be drinking alcohol at my age.  Not that I mind the tiny amount I got from this bottle,” I added with a shrug. “Are you.. I mean…  You’re out drinking all the time, so I assume you’re at least twenty-one, right?”  The look of guilt that sprung to her face immediately made me think otherwise.  “W- Well how old are you?”  I shook my head, “You first.”  “I’m.. I’m only twenty,” she confessed, “but legal drinking age is.. like.. eighteen so…  Yeah.  Now answer my question.”  

It took a moment for me to respond after that.  Not only was I unsure whether she was lying about the age a person could drink in her world, I realized that when I first saw her a year before, absolutely wasted in the parking lot, trying to break into a car she’d mistaken for her own — she was only nineteen.  In my book, that was too young an age for her to be in that situation, and way too young an age to be in the situation with John in the alleyway.

“Alexis?” Erica asked questioningly.  Her voice held the tiniest tinge of fear in it.  “I’m eighteen,” I told her.  My junior year of high school’s almost over.”  She nodded, “Unpopular opinion, but I actually liked high school.”  As I voiced my opinion against her own, claiming she probably just wasn’t remembering it clearly as a joke, I noticed her look darken for a moment, but chose not to press her about it.  I changed the topic entirely and made some small talk for a bit before we parted ways for the night.  I kept the empty champagne bottle as a souvenir, rubbing it thoughtfully between my fingers in bed that night.  "Cheers," I whispered to myself, "to finally getting things right.