#and when i say ‘read a romance novella’ i mean i read the whole romance novella. so that took me an hour

[fingertipsmp3]

Why am I a fucking dumbass. Like genuinely

[radioiaci]

|| @cannibalxroses || Hello, I would like to chime in on this since it seems to be a matter of uhhh public concern now and I think it's time I said something! Putting it under a read-more because it'll be a little lengthy. Know that I want this to be as respectful as possible and that I am not upset or mad or anything about anything that's been going on! I just have some opinions and context to provide.

I have not made it a secret that I feel as though my portrayal of Alastor is veering more steadily towards MLM/gay relationships. This is just something I've discovered over the course of writing him. Now, when I initially posted about it, I made it clear that this does not mean that I wanted to outright dissolve or otherwise write off ships with female characters!

But in a similar vein to how literally every interaction with him is under the veil of his aro/ace experience, so too would every interaction be colored by the fact that he is starting to prefer men. This can lead to some VERY interesting conflict and nuance as these are all topics that I LOVE to explore via his inner monologue. And he is NOT ALWAYS going to make SMART or FAIR decisions to his partners as a result; both men and women. And I think that's a perfectly great way to explore lots of pathways for a ship. (All of his ships in general are never going to be 100% healthy. Alastor is a jealous, possessive, violent, and often emotionally DEAD individual.)

In this verse in particular, he cares about Rosie and does love her. He has explored sexual relations with her on a few occasions and he didn't dislike them (he, in fact, enjoyed them, given the context) - but I will say that outright, he is hard pressed to consider himself attracted to her as a default. This is ALSO coupled with the fact that Alastor - IN ALL of his relationships - has a very hard time getting his libido to react. It requires some specific parameters that can sometimes be a lot of work. And sexual interactions may not always be reciprocated or go as planned.

WITH THAT CONTEXT IN MIND:

Prior to the Unholy Crusade event, I was of an understanding that we could absolutely continue having he and Rosie be together and be married. I think that is an interesting plot point for him to have to cope with his sexuality (as well as the torch he still holds for Vox) in a married/committed relationship with a woman; particularly a woman who he very much cherishes still.

BUT - I know that when I get into those topics, I get VERY WORDY. I get VERY NOVELLA in my responses and that is not everyone's cup of tea. It was my understanding that, over time, some of Xixi's interest in those types of posts began to wane or she otherwise started to prefer short, sillier interactions with other characters, WHICH IS 100% OKAY AND FINE AND I HARBOR NO ILL WILL TOWARDS ANYONE INVOLVED, XIXI INCLUDED. Everyone is allowed to cater their experience in the way that makes sense to them and their character! But that is the impression I received.

However, in all honesty, when my long para replies are met with much shorter responses, I do get a little sad. And I know that not everyone gets as wordy as me, so really, it's just my bad for assuming that people WANTED to read/respond to that kind of thing in kind (I should have asked probably) but because of that, I started to draw back a bit because the effort and interest didn't quite seem to be on the same page.

So when Xixi proposed the death of Rosie and the end to the ship as a whole I was a bit taken aback, especially since we had spoken at least once after I made the initial post about Al's MLM sexuality and it seemed like it would be an okay thing to continue with. BUT I also know that Rosie's character does really like romance, affection, etc. and things that Alastor is not always fantastic at showing. So even though I was a little bit down about that being the inevitable conclusion (and it did, admittedly, make my participation in the event feel a bit moot which it was already sort of scant because I've been busy and can't always keep up with those quick timed events, as I've expressed before), I understood that it was what Xixi wanted for the character and for the ship and I do not fault her for it!

I did wish, at the time, that maybe it had been brought up to me beforehand, but I know events move quick, things can come up and happen, and I'm not gonna fault someone for that either.

Ultimately, I decided I was okay with it. I chatted with a pal and decided that with a little bit of their input I could write a nice little ending to Alastor's story in that verse so that I still felt like I had a bit of agency in how he continues on after that, even if we weren't necessarily going to play in that verse anymore. I like to have control of my characters and their eventual fates, so it made me feel better in an otherwise unfortunate situation.

But now that the plan B is being proposed, I really don't want it to seem as though I hate the ship/wanted it to end/am committed to ruining it out of spite. I think I'd just like to commit to what was proposed to me because I've already planned out how I would like to end that story and I don't want to put pressure on Xixi (or myself) to try and match up our writing styles or interest levels when it does not seem as though we're able to provide what we're each looking for in a ship between Rosie/Alastor.

All that to say that I am sort of sold on completing that story for Alastor in one way or another, but that does not mean that I hate radiorose, nor that I harbor any sore feelings towards Xixi. Nor do I have any disdain for her writing style whatsoever! I think it's great and if there is any future indication that our styles can jive together again, I'd be open to it.

But at this time, it just seems like it's better for the ship to meet a conclusion.

I HOPE THAT PROVIDES CONTEXT AND INSIGHT as to my decision making here. I really do not want it to seem as though I'm purposefully sabotaging their ship when I just sort of want to commit to what was initially proposed.

I hope that makes sense. I don't often go at length about these kinds of things, but since people were concerned, I wanted to make myself clear.

ANYWAY.

[mermaidsirennikita]

Hiiii!!! I love your recs especially your historical romance stuff but I was wondering if you had any dark romances recs?? Like contemporary? I want to read some more darker stuff but the stuff booktok is on is mediocre at best.

Yes! Not as many as I'd like, tbh, but that's because a) time management issues b) me being excessively picky. Unfortunately, the flooding of the dark romance market means that a lot of them... are not good. Mediocre at best, as you say.

Soooo I would recommend Sierra Simone. Not just because she's one of my favorites, but because, if you're looking for something on the darker end but not like, "WELCOME TO MY TWISTED MIND" shit... Yeah. Would recommend her.

Her darkest series is her Thornchapel books, which does have some mysticism and magic to it, but not enough for me to properly call it paranormal (though I do sometimes). It's like gothic-toned. And it has one thing that even a lot of dark romances I read don't do. An extreme taboo, shall we say.

Basically, the plot (it's 4 books, all must be read in order) is that six childhood friends come back together as adults, with various issues with each other, etc. They find out about these bacchanalian rituals their parents used to do (think... orgies lol) and decide to take part on a lark, which opens some really fucked up, insane shit. There are two main relationships, one of which is MMF and one of which is FF. It's very kinky (think BDSM, free use, again a lot of group sex). It's very intense. Everyone does have sex with each other at some point lol.

If you want NO magic, her Lyonesse series is billed as dark romance, and while there is darker stuff out there, it's still dark. It's a retelling of the Tristan and Isolde myth, MMF, kinky. Basically: a banking heiress who wants to be a nun and enjoys killing people (for God) is betrothed to a powerful, cold kink club owner/former CIA killer man as a power trade. (This is contemporary, though.) Shit happens, and during their engagement (during which they're living in separate countries) he also begins a relationship with his sad-eyed 'd, beautiful bodyguard. Said bodyguard is heartbroken when he finds out Mr. Boss is engaged, and is sent to fetch her... and they begin something too. And also there are secrets. And murder. Some torture. Loooots of sadomasochism. Moral gray-to-charcoal behavior. One of my favorite endings in recent memory. Lots of mindfuckery.

It's GREAT. start with the prequel novella, Salt in the Wound, and go from there (must be read in order). I would also recommend reading her New Camelot trilogy first, which... Like, less murder happens? I guess? It's more political. But I still consider it on the darker end, tbh. There's kidnapping, there's war, there's betrayal, there's that taboo shit again, there's fucking while one of you has open, poorly patched bullet wounds and the blood is slicking between your bodies... Basically, this one of my holy grail series and I think it's perfect. MMF, very kinky, hot hot hot, cry cry cry, based on Arthurian legend.

King's Captive by Amber Bardan is BONKERS and a great dark romance (I need to read more by her, but again, time management problems). The heroine's father is killed by the hero in the beginning, and the hero sweeps her off to his private island. Flash to years later, and she's been there the whole time. And he hasn't touched her (not really). But things are boiling.... Very twisty-turny, and again, WILD. There's some good, weird shit in here.

On the mafia end, I'd recommend Mila Finelli's Kings of Italy (Italian mafia) which is super hot and has some good kink. On the "violence is all around us" kidnapping/biiiig age gap (no underage shit, but think 18 and 38) end. Mafia Madman is my favorite (and the darkest—he keeps her in a cage lol), but I'd recommend reading them in order. Kresley Cole's Game Maker series is a bit darker, Russian mafia, has a lot of murder, kidnapping, some wacky shit. Really well-done, especially the latter two books.

Run, Posy Run by Cate C. Well is a good Italian-American mafia romance, definitely darker, in which the heroine's boyfriend (who's like... kind of emotionless lol) finds out she was cheating on him. Except she wasn't. She goes on the run, he chases her, there's a lot of threatening shit, etc. It's great.

If you want to read some legit fucked up shit that's more on the erotica end of the spectrum (though there is still a pretty amazing central romance) then Tiffany Reisz's Original Sinners series is right there. This has some MESSED. UP. SHIT. Dubcon, noncon, underage activity, seriously risky kink (bloodplay, cutting, choking with a belt and with hands, lots of pain play—our main "hero" is a Catholic priest who can't get it up without inflicting pain, even though he doesn't want to like... legit hurt the heroine). Femdom, pegging, group sex, free use... you'll find it all here.

Not all of this series ages well. I don't love the underage stuff. I really don't love the way the author handles POC (there's like... one main character of color from what I remember, and she's basically a white guy's love interest, and she's great in theory, but boy do I dislike a lot of the way Reisz talks about her on the page). But it is fascinating in many aspects, and I do love the main three characters.

Catch: if you want it to have an HEA, just stop on book 8.... She revived the series after years with book 9. It sucks. It leaves you on a sort of open situation with no sign of when the next book will come out, and I'm not sure how that'll all... end up. It's really not good.

BUT the original series is over, and if you stop there the ending is great. And that's the only ending I acknowledge.

[sophiesbookishthings]

June Reads 🌈

Hi! I've got a little preface before this month's list. Every June I like to try to exclusively read books with LGBTQ+ rep. I do tend to kind of do that throughout the year anyway since I'm queer (biromantic asexual and nonbinary) and that's just the type of books I naturally seek out. But in June I make a point of it and try to read books where they are specifically the main character. It's also preferable if the author is also LGBTQ+ in some way. I believe representation in the media is extremely important and I like to support that whenever I can. Anyway, buckle up, this one is gonna be long.

Iron Widow by Xiran Jay Zhao

This book has 3(!) asian bisexual polyamorous main characters by an asian nonbinary queer author. This book was like if ancient China met Pacific Rim, then make it queer and feminist. I was not in love with the first part of this book. The main character was (understandably) out for revenge but didn't seem to really think through her plans well. She was also really mean. It did make sense for the character at the time, though and it made sense, since she really didn't think she would live long enough to have further plans or for it to matter that she was mean. It was just a bit frustrating to read. She did have character development throughout the book and did ultimately turn her anger specifically back toward the oppressive government. I loved watching each dynamic of the romance develop throughout the book. I think it was really well done, and the three characters fit really well together. It was also a great contrast to the harrowing dark nature of the rest of the plot. Then the ending! The ending was such a great payoff from the rest of the book. The twist was foreshadowed so well, and I did pick up on it a bit. I knew something was up with the "aliens." The second book is supposed to be out later this year, I believe, and I can't wait to read it.

4.75/5 ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️✨️

Leather and Lark by Brynn Weaver

Okay, this one isn't lgbt. Oops. I had it preordered and had to read it immediately. I do think I liked the first book in the series a bit more, but this one was still fun. It was kinda enemies to lovers and had a marriage of convenience. The fmc basically did arts and crafts with her victims (who were typically child abusers/molesters), and the mmc was a professional crime coverer. I really liked how hard the mmc worked throughout the book to be forgiven for things that happened when the 2 mcs first met and the gradual reveal of why it was so bad for the fmc in the first place. I'm excited to read the next book because I feel like the two main characters are going to be super interesting.

4.25/5 ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️✨️

Edgedancer by Brandon Sanderson

.....Okay, I did another non-lgbt one. But it's Sanderson, and it's a novella okay. I don't really have much to say about this one except that Wyndle deserves financial compensation or something. That poor spren is going through it. I'm really intrigued to see how Lift is going to deal with being a Radiant and interacting with the others in Oathbringer after this book, though. I think she's gonna add a lot more chaos, and it's gonna be fun. Oh, and I still love Szeth, and someone needs to help him. I know he's a notorious assassin, but he is the saddest, wettest, most pathetic guy, and he's having a whole existential crisis.

4.25/5 ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️✨️

Cemetery Boys by Aiden Thomas

This one was really good. I've had it on my shelf for a while. I get why everyone was talking about it a few years ago (when I should've read it lol oops). The main character is a gay transgender Latino (same as the author) boy whose family can summon spirits and heal. Powers which are unfortunately traditionally gender based. Through the book, he tries to prove to his family that he belongs with the men of the family while also helping a spirit he kinda accidentally raised. I really loved Julian, and the eventual relationship between him and Yadriel was really sweet. I listened to this one on audio, and I have to mention that I loved Avi Roque as the narrator. They did a great job. Then there were two twists at the end, one I saw coming, and one I didn't. The one I didn't see coming was really neat and made a lot of sense considering there is supposed to be a sequel.

4/5 ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Loveless by Alice Oseman

I tried to read this book at least twice before I finally got through the whole thing. I had to get it in audiobook cause that is my trick to getting through books that are hard for me to get through for whatever reason. And it absolutely wasn't because I didn't like it. It was the exact opposite. Alice Oseman never fails to make me cry when she writes aro/ace characters. She herself is aro/ace, I believe, and the way she writes her aro/ace characters is the closest I think I've ever read/seen in media to my own experience. This book felt too much like looking into a mirror, and that made me have A Lot of Feelings. Even trying to read it this time was tough, and it took me a while. Georgia's experience navigating through the transition between college and high school felt a lot like mine. Though, her college experience ultimately went significantly better. Her desire for connections felt a lot like mine. Though she did achieve that in a way, I very much did not. I loved the various representation in this book. Sunil was a particular favorite of mine. And i loved that they were Shakespeare theatre kids. Very much like me lol. Ultimately, I really loved the conclusion that friendships can be just as important and fulfilling as romantic or sexual relationships.

4/5 ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo by Taylor Jenkins Reid

I liked this book a lot. I love a good morally gray woman who won't apologize for her questionable choices. I also love a good queer period piece. And this book is mostly set in old Hollywood which fascinates me because of the contrast of how glamorous it looks versus how much of a nightmare it actually was for anyone who wasn't a straight cis white male in a position of power. There was also a really sweet found family element in this book, and I'm always a sucker for that. It also had an interesting narrative structure, which I enjoyed, because it was framed as an interview. So this book really checked a lot of boxes for me.

4.75/5 ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️✨️

The Emperor and the Endless Palace by Justinian Huang

I really liked the premise of this book. Two men meet in ancient China, fall in love, and meet over and over again throughout various lifetimes. The endless palace concept intrigued me as well. Unfortunately, the execution fell flat for me. I wanted this to be a love story, and I think it was supposed to be, but it felt like more of a lust story. And there's nothing wrong with that, but it felt weird to me when it was framed as a love story and then barely delivered. It didn't feel like the two protagonists actually got time to get to know each other and fall in love before they were declaring that they were in love, especially in the lives they live after the first. And this declaration happened later in the book as well. There was very little romantic development. It would have been more interesting to me if they had to make the effort to fall in love in each life, but it never seemed like they did. Even in the first lifetime, it seemed like their love was orchestrated. It also never explained why they were reincarnating. I think the jade thing was supposed to be the reason, but it wasn't explained well at all. And, considering the title, I thought the endless palace would come into play a bit more. It didn't. It was mentioned briefly that the palace was seemingly endless, and that was about it. Ultimately, the ending failed to pull the whole story together like I hoped it would. I basically got 0 emotional effect from this. I felt like basically nothing happened and that there were so many loose ends that were just left unexplained. And if you do choose to read this tw for sexual assault/coercion.

The First Bright Thing by J. R. Dawson

2.5/5 ⭐️⭐️✨️

When We Lost Our Heads by Heather O'Neill

This book was weird. But I kinda loved it, I think. The two girls the story centers on, Marie Antoine and Sadie Arnett, are based on Marie Antoinette and the Marquis de Sade (which is directly referenced in the book and it made me laugh). It follows them through years of both their friendship and rivalry and how Maire's privilege and Sadie's libertinism impact their relationship (both platonic and romantic). It has very heavy themes of 19th-century feminism which can seem very harsh at times when read through a lense of modern feminism, but I do think it was ultimately executed well. It also had themes of classism and the privileges that come with being in the highest upper class and how that can affect ones beliefs. It's also very queer. I was a little worried about the way it was queer at first because it seemed pretty heavy on hating men but i think that was very much due to the time period and the extreme amount of priveledge men had in the lives these women were living in. This book also had a few twists that, even though I picked up on a little early, still made me gasp when it was revealed. And every character in this book is flawed and kinda awful in some way, which was part of what made it such a fascinating book to me. Like I said, I love morally questionable women.

5/5 ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I kept seeing and almost picking this book up at the bookstore until I finally just got it on audio from the library. This book had found family and a magic circus. But it also had a pretty prevalent theme of the effects of an abusive relationship that kinda caught me off guard because that wasn't necessarily stated in the description of this book. It was actually one of the strongest elements of this book, I thought, so it seems odd to me that it wasn't one of the main points of the description. Then there is a plot point in which they try to stop WWII. I think this book could have been just as good or even better if that had been excluded because it didn't really seem to go anywhere. But also upon reflection, I believe the point of it was to show that even though terrible things may happen in the future you can't necessarily change them and have to live in and make the most of the present. And I kind of love that as a concept. I really liked the relationship between the ringmaster and her wife. They were really sweet and another one of the strongest parts of the book as well as the friendship between them and their other friend who helps them run the circus. I think I still have more thoughts about this book, but this is already long, and I'm not coherent enough to articulate them lol

3.75/5 ⭐️⭐️⭐️✨️

[moonmothmama]

ok so i spent the last three days reading two novels and a novella. one each day. the orc saga by @amaliadillin

had a lot of fun reading these. would like to own physical copies at some point. also there's going to be a third book at some point which if it were out i would be reading it now, so.

i suppose it's a romance? i haven't read a single Regular Ass Romance Novel in my life (i read a gay retelling of beauty and the beast one time? does that count??) though so you can't go by me. but there's a romance at the center of the story. to me, if the characters are compelling then i'm hooked, and i did enjoy the characters. it's got that fairytale fantasy vibe, like the old fairytales where a lot of fucked up shit happens. you know what i mean. harrowing stuff. classic tropes were used and played around with in a way that made for good storytelling. i am too tired and cracked out to give a more thoughtful review but i had fun reading them.

the orcs are full-on good guys in this story, which is stating the obvious, but like, i specifically went looking for stories with orcs that weren't simply A Race Of Evil Creatures. call me crazy, i want some nuance. something balanced. or christ at least not completely black and white.

like yes i love Tolkien but i never liked the concept of a Race Of Evil Creatures. in any context. bothered me as far back as i can recall. there is a lot i could say about it but like i said i'm tired. just. you know. "this entire people is Evil" do i even need to list reasons why that might make a person uncomfortable? you can think of some on your own, i'm sure. feels bad. don't like it.

and i'm aware Tolkien himself was actually troubled and conflicted about that bit so what more do you need to know? it's fucked up.

also broadly the whole "good is beautiful evil is ugly/beautiful is good ugly is evil" shit can go back to the victorian era please and thank you. but that's a whole other tack and i'm already rambling.

and also there are so many sweeping generalizations about entire peoples that have rankled me since i first read The Hobbit when i was eight years old. i vividly remember the very first time i read this one line that was like "dwarves are not heroes" and said something to the effect of that they were all essentially cowardly and/or self-interested and i was like "what the fuck dude?" I mean i was eight so i wouldn't have phrased it like that but that was the exact emotion. and it still bugs me! (also did Thorin Oakenshield- who was an OLD MAN!- rush COMPLETELY ALONE into a circle of three trolls to fight for his people or didn't he? you're telling me that's not heroic? fuck off)

and you guys know i am a sucker for Sympathetic Monsters. blah blah when the world looks at you like you're monstrous you sympathize with monsters blah blah, something something who decides what a monster is yadda yadda.

anyway i'm going to lie down probably

[radashes]

Book review: 'SHATTER ME' SERIES

Entering the world of the 'Shatter Me' series was like embarking on a rollercoaster ride, filled with highs and lows, twists and turns. With each installment, I found myself swept away by Tahereh Mafi's captivating storytelling, but also grappling with my own conflicting emotions. Here's a breakdown of my journey through the series, from the heights of adoration to the depths of disappointment.

SHATTER ME #1: 4/5 stars I rated this book 4 stars instead of 5 because I'm not a fan of Adam and Juliette as a couple. Juliette's affection for Adam seems more based on his kindness to her in the past and his ability to touch her, rather than genuine love. Adam's obsession with Juliette feels cliché and cringeworthy to me.

However, I still like Adam as a character overall. The plot and characters like Kenji and especially Warner are fantastic though. Warner's complexity as a character makes him stand out.

DESTROY ME #1.5 [NOVELLA]: 5/5 stars

Wow, Aaron Warner really steals the show. His depth of emotion in this novella is just so well-written. You can really feel his complex feelings, not just towards Juliette, but also in his relationship with Delalieu, which is surprisingly cute. And those dreams? They add such an intriguing layer to the story. And don't even get me started on the quotes - they're just perfection!

Seriously, if you're a Warner fan, you absolutely need to read this. It's a solid 5/5 heartbreaking stars from me.

This novella is an essential read for anyone invested in the series. As you dive into Warner's psyche, you'll feel the weight of his emotions pressing down on you. It's like he's a whirlwind of disappointment, trauma, and anger all bundled up in a 19-year-old boy. But despite all the pain and suffering, you can't help but empathize with him. You start to see the walls he's built around himself and understand why he acts the way he does. It's a real eye-opener that sheds light on every decision he made in the first book.

Fair warning, though - once you finish this novella, there's no turning back. Warner will completely shatter your heart into pieces, and you'll be left utterly captivated by him. I mean, I couldn't even put this novella down, and that rarely happens with novellas!

UNRAVEL ME #2: 4.5/5 stars

This book was so close to perfection. I loved it so much but the ending kind of messed it up for me. It was underwhelming as the whole book.

This book, this world – it's all messed up, yet people keep on living. It blows my mind how they manage to survive, rebels, soldiers, regular folks, all facing terror every day. It's wild.

Lots of folks rag on Juliette, saying she's weak, self-absorbed, always wrapped up in her own drama. But I get where she's coming from. Life's tough, you know? Juliette's been through hell and back. Treated like trash her whole life, it's no wonder she struggles to see herself as anything but a monster. And when she finally starts feeling human again, it's ripped away from her. But she lets it go, showing her humanity.

Her relationships, especially with Adam, get a lot of flack. People say it's not real, just based on need. But with Warner, it's different. Despite his tough exterior, Juliette sees his softer side.

IGNITE ME #3: 5/5 stars

I get it. I FINALLY GET THE HYPE of this series!

This book is the reason why Aaron warner is our golden boy. That guy is the definition of swoon-worthy. Every word out of his mouth had me melting into a puddle on the floor.

Kenji, though? He's the real MVP. I swear, if I wasn't so head over heels for Warner, Kenji would be stealing the show. His humor just brings so much light to everything, you know?

But Adam? Ugh, don't even get me started on him. Every time he showed up, I was ready to throw my book across the room. Seriously, why couldn't Mafi just have Warner toss him off a cliff or something?

But let's talk about the romance. Holy smokes, it was on fire! I lost count of how many scenes had me squealing out loud. Warnette forever, am I right? That pager scene? And "lyhfml"? Absolute perfection.

RESTORE ME #4: 3/5 stars

Wow, that ending though! I'm still trying to process it, honestly.

So, let's get into it. While I didn't love this book as much as "Ignite Me," those secrets and lies had me hooked! But seriously, all that miscommunication? It stressed me out big time. Like, can these characters just talk to each other already?

And Juliette... girl, what happened? She went from confident and strong to clueless and insecure. But hey, she's still the supreme commander, even if she's not sure what to do with all that power. I guess we all make dumb decisions sometimes, right?

But let's talk about the hot stuff. Juliette laying down the law? Scorching! And Kenji? Always a bright spot. His friendship with Juliette and his bond with Warner? Pure gold. And Nazeera? Badass.

Now, Warner. My heart breaks for him. His vulnerability, his anxiety - it's all too real. And that childhood trauma? Heart-wrenching. But eating a cookie with a knife and fork? Classic Warner.

And his love for Juliette? It's sickeningly sweet. He'd do anything for her, and it's both beautiful and agonizing to watch.

Overall, this book had its flaws.

DEFY ME #5: 2.5/5 stars

I gotta be real here. This book left me scratching my head. Like, what was even the point? It felt like Tahereh Mafi was just stretching the story out for the sake of it. And those twists? They were more confusing than anything else. It's like she was trying to shock us without really adding anything meaningful to the plot.

Don't get me wrong, I love Mafi's writing, but this one fell flat for me. The characters I adore, like Kenji and Warner, were still solid, but the rest felt kinda irrelevant. And what's up with the whole Juliette-now-Ella thing? She'll always be Juliette to me.

Speaking of ships, Juliette and Warner? Total goals. They're the only reason I'm considering picking up book six. Oh, and I can't forget about Kenji. That guy deserves all the happiness in the world.

Overall, this book felt like a filler episode of a TV show. Not terrible, but definitely not essential. I'll stick to pretending the series ended at book three.

And can we talk about that cover? Seriously, did they just tweak the old one and call it a day? At least give us something fresh!

Oh, and a heads up for anyone thinking about diving in - there are some heavy topics like parental abuse and suicidal thoughts in here, so tread carefully.

IMAGINE ME #6: 3.5/5 stars

This series should've wrapped up neatly with "Ignite Me." Life would've been good. But nope, we got hit with "Restore Me," and it's been a rollercoaster of disappointment since then.

Honestly, going into this book, I had zero expectations. And you know what? I'm kinda glad about that because what I got was not what I expected at all.

Let's start with the positives. Tahereh's writing? Still top-notch. I mean, how does she come up with those poetic sentences? And Kenji? Bless his soul. That guy was carrying the weight of the whole story on his back, trying to keep everyone together.

But then we got Adam, who's still as irrelevant as ever. And don't even get me started on Warner. He went from being tolerable to downright insufferable. And Juliette? Where did she even go? She went from badass to passive, and it's just frustrating to watch.

The worldbuilding and plot? Yeah, still confused. And that ending? Talk about rushed and unsatisfying. So many loose ends, so many unanswered questions. And that epilogue? Don't even get me started.

In the end, the only enjoyment I got out of this mess was from Kenji's inner thoughts. That guy's a gem, always finding a way to lighten the mood.

Seriously, Mafi, this series should've stayed a trilogy. Don't even think about coming back with more books later on. I'll riot, but let's be real, I'll probably still end up reading them because I'm a glutton for punishment.

BELIEVE ME #7 [NOVELLA]: 5/5 stars

Let me tell you, when I heard about this new book coming out, I was hyped! "Imagine Me" didn't quite give us the closure we needed, so I was ready to dive back into this world.

And Aaron Warner? Damn, that guy knows how to turn up the heat. Chapter 8? I was not prepared for that level of steaminess. I thought we'd get a fade to black moment, but by the end of it, I was sweating buckets. My legs? Let's just say they were done for!

But beyond the romance, I was really digging the world-building in this book. Finally getting some insight into their plans to restore the planet was a breath of fresh air after the uncertainty of "Imagine Me."

But man, these characters? They feel like family to me. Seeing them find happiness just warms my heart. It's like revisiting old friends after all these years.

There are some more novella like:

"Destroy Me" - Aaron Warner's point of view

"Fracture Me" - Adam Kent's point of view

"Shadow Me" - Kenji Kishimoto's point of view

"Reveal Me" - Kenji Kishimoto's point of view

"Imagine Me" - Juliette Ferrars' (Ella Sommers') point of view

"Believe Me" - Aaron Warner's point of view

So there you have it, folks! 'Shatter Me' series has taken us on one wild adventure. Whether you loved it, hated it, or fell somewhere in between, one thing's for sure: Tahereh Mafi has given us a story to remember. And with that, it's time to bid adieu to Juliette, Warner, Kenji, and the rest of the crew. Until next time, happy reading!

[acourtofthought]

Do you think that Elain not mentioning Azriel, rather giving Feyre the credit for saving her in acowar is another hint that el/riel isn't happening?

I might be reaching and Sjm might not have even thought of that while writing that in acosf but it was a huge thing back then when Azriel helped Feyre save Elain and so many people made it sound like he alone saved her. I mean, there's this whole "I will get her back" crap and Elain didn't really acknowledge Feyre after they saved her. Even during the saving, she seemed like she addressed Azriel with the "You came for me" line (idk) rather than Feyre.. so to have her only mentioning Feyre in acosf was a little surprising to me.

I mean, the whole book (including the bonus chapter) felt like it was completely against El/riel. I'm not sure if Sjm had always planned Elucien or just later on because I still remember that Interview (although I remember it as a IG live) of Sjm confirming that El/riel are more like brother and sister + the healing journey she talked about Elucien, but the one thing that is clear to me is that el/riel aren't going to happen.

I think it's pretty major that SJM began to downplay E/riel moments in SF. She could have easily written it so Elain said, "And I remember Feyre and Azriel saving me" because that would have been just as difficult for Nesta to hear as "Feyre saving me". Some like to claim she only threw Feyre into the mix because it was an argument between sisters but the developing romances are just as important as the sisters relationship and when SJM wants to build up a couple, she makes a pointed effort to do so. The fact that Elain chose to credit Feyre for her rescue followed by Az seeming to take offense to that fact later when we see: Azriel stiffened. "I know. I helped Elain, after all." seems to show he's a bit put out that he didn't get acknowledged. To me that says Az has just always got to be the hero rather than focusing on how Cassian is trying to talk to him about Nesta's trauma after the experience. So that's one example of oddness between them. If SJM is truly building to E/riel then why are they getting more awkward around one another than closer together? At Solstice (in the novella) they at least chatted openly about her gardens but in SF, he smiles at her and she looks away from him. And Az speaking out against Elain while AMREN needs to put him in his place was pretty much the nail in their coffin (especially when he shows ADMIRATION FOR ANOTHER FEMALE, where did he ever show admiration for Elain when she stood up to Nesta?) That Elain wasn't there to witness that is probably the only reason she was willing to kiss him Solstice night. And though she was willing, they have almost nothing to say to one another. Their biggest concern is making out and that reads way too much like Feyre and Tamlin trying to have sex the night before her final trial. If Az and Elain were alone for the first time in a long time after barely speaking to one another, shouldn't they be interested in exchanging dialogue more poignant than "here's your gift, Nesta wouldn't appreciate the joke." "Here's your gift, it's beautiful, put it on me?" Literally screams epically deep romance right there, doesn't it? Listen, anytime two hot characters are about to get it on, it's going to be sexy. But sexy does not guarantee true love and it doesn't mean two characters are right for one another. The fact that SJM is an author who loves banter (she said she had to cut 15 pages of Bryce and Hunt ribbing on one another playing Mario Cart) and E/riel share none of it, I think it's fairly apparent that they don't have the endgame formula going for them. They're attracted to one another but they're surface level and that we've never witnessed them having a conversation involving the difficult stuff (which both Feysand and Nessian had before they ended up together, before they ever kissed), is pretty tell tale.

[esseastri]

I asked Lisa what I was going to do when I finished the last 150 pages of the final Raksura book by Martha Wells (A WHOLE SERIES OF FANTASY GOLD THAT YOU SHOULD ALL READ) and she had the balls to laugh at me and say, "reread all of Natasha Pulley."

Which, I cannot argue, is in character.

But. I refer the question to the audience:

[yedithwrites]

This or That Tag Game

I was tagged by @indigowriting. Thank you so much for the tag! Find their post here.

|| HISTORICAL or FUTURISTIC ||

Historical! IDK why, but I just think historical is more interesting to write, even though the research is a lot of work. Especially if it's a subject I'm really familiar with. Futuristic is fun to read, but I don't really gravitate towards it as a writer.

|| OPENING or CLOSING CHAPTER ||

Every time I have to write an ending, I do it crying and screaming lol. Endings are so hard for me. I wrote the ending of Good Friends and then re-wrote it and then re-wrote the whole thing and then hated the ending again lol. It's so hard knowing the right place to stop, or if I tied up all the loose ends, or if I've explained too much, or if I made the right choices. I'm fighting for my life every time I write a closing chapter.

|| LIGHT+FLUFFY or DARK+GRITTY ||

I'm going to say both because I think my writing is usually somewhere in the middle. When I write horror (especially when I'm writing a novel vs a short story), I can't stop myself from inserting moments of hope or lightness. And when I write romance, I can't stop myself from putting in some heavier topics.

|| ANIMAL COMPANION or FOUND FAMILY ||

Found family 100%. I actually very rarely write animals into my stories. I guess I just never really considered it. Writing people is more fun for me. I love creating different dynamics between characters.

|| HORROR or ROMANCE ||

I am physically incapable of choosing one or the other. I write both and I mix the genres together a lot. There was this tweet from Hailey Piper recently that said horror and romance are lovers and they belong together and that's exactly how I feel lol.

|| HARD MAGIC SYSTEM or SOFT MAGIC SYSTEM ||

I don't need an explanation for a magic system and I don't like explaining it in my work. I think explaining too much can dull some of what makes the magic magical, if you know what I mean (though not always, of course). Yeah, my magic systems will have some rules, but I like writing the sort of magic that not even the protagonist really understands.

|| STANDALONE or SERIES ||

I've never once written a series lol. I have one I'm planning (a vampire trilogy) and I am way out of my comfort zone with it.

|| ONE PROJECT AT A TIME or ALWAYS JUGGLING 2+ ||

I'm always sort of working on more than one thing. Like right now, I'm revising two novels and plotting another (plus... I need to finish a novella I started on a whim). But I don't actually work on them at the same time. One will grab my attention for weeks or months and then I'll go back to another and so on and so forth.

|| ONE AWARD WINNER or ONE BESTSELLER ||

I would cry if I got an award, don't get me wrong. But for practical reasons, it's gotta be bestseller (as I am in need of more money, thank you). Plus, a bestseller would probably lead to more exposure and more opportunities.

|| FANTASY OR SCI-FI ||

I have a complicated relationship with sci-fi. I definitely have some favorite sci-fi novels, but it's typically a genre I have trouble getting into. It's not like I've never written sci-fi or plan on writing it either, but fantasy comes to me much easier.

|| CHARACTER DESCRIPTION or SETTING DESCRIPTION ||

One of my greatest sins is how little I care about describing setting. It's to the point that I'll write a first draft and then force myself to go back and fill in the setting descriptions. I'm careful about describing characters too, and I try to do it only when it makes sense, but I like it more than setting descriptions.

|| LOVE TRIANGLE IN EVERYTHING or NO ROMANTIC ARCS ||

Yeah... I love a good romance and I can't write anything long form that doesn't have one. I write love triangles sometimes, but it's more like "dating the wrong person" than a true love triangle. For Good Friends, I have a list called "casualties of Ruben and Ari's romance" and there's like five characters on it lol. When there's a real love triangle, it definitely tends to lean more poly.

|| CONSTANT SANDSTORM or RAINSTORM ||

I've lived in Oregon my whole life so I know rain really well. I wouldn't even know where to start with a sandstorm.

Gently tagging @kaiyo @thesorcerersapprentice @queenkalico and anyone else who might be interested!

[justagalwhowrites]

No pressure if you don’t want to share, but I’m so curious what you do for a living and/or what your educational background is. I’m so impressed with your storytelling skills that I feel like it cannot be accidental. I have a fair amount of experience as a reader/writer (though not professional) and have a college level writing/English degree and again I’m just so impressed. I wish I had the patience like some to bullet out specifics within a chapter but it’s like moment to moment you just don’t miss.

The exchange with Tommy and Joel in this chapter was superb. The way you write sometimes there isn’t much explanation needed, you do a beautiful job of showing vs telling. You let details unfold in such a subtle but very intentional way. I never feel like, “Oh, here’s the exposition”.

Beskar Doll and Lavender have been two of my absolute favorites and truthfully the initial plot around Yearling didn’t interest me but I trusted you based on the others. It’s becoming my favorite of the three. Like I don’t even care if it gets smutty (and… I usually want that), the story and character development are enough.

Anyway none of this to say skip the smut 😂 But please you how talented you are, especially considering your writing speed. You’re cranking shit out fast and nothing ever feels rushed or unintentional❤️

OMG Hi Bestie!

I totally don't mind sharing! I work in communications now (I write a lot of emails and blog posts, the occasional journal article, etc.) but I was a journalist for a decade before I sold my soul to the PR gods. I have a degree in journalism so my background is definitely all writing! And I have always done creative writing for fun. My mom went through boxes of my elementary school stuff like a year or two ago and found a little novella I wrote when I was like seven lol. I started writing my first novel (it's very bad though I did finish it) when I was 11 and writing novels has been my primary hobby ever since, really. When I got into fan fic earlier this year, I just kind of picked up what I do in novel planning and whatnot and plopped it into the fic space. It means so much that you think it's high quality work! I'm so glad you've enjoyed it!

And OMG this is so exciting about Yearling lol. Yearling has made me so nervous from the start? It was a story I really wanted to tell - trauma, recovery, finding home and family, forgiveness, growth - but it was the first fic I started writing that I thought people might be reading from the beginning and I didn't want to disappoint anyone. Every other fic I started writing thinking no one would read it so the stakes were INCREDIBLY low lol it was just for me! It's a little different now because so many kind, wonderful people have read these stories. Yearling is obviously a slow burn, which I know isn't what people always go for, and there's a LOT of plot - again, not always what draws people into fic! - so I'm thrilled that people have connected with it. I'm extra happy that you're a convert to it!! That made my day, for real!

Don't worry, smut is coming soon in Yearling lol! Smut is never the point in my fics, more just sprinkled in for spice (not that there's anything wrong with PWP!! I love that! I'm just AWFUL at writing it) but I love having it. I may not be as explicit when I write books but I find stories for and about adults unrealistic if it doesn't include sex or romance as some kind of driver (unless the characters are aro/ace) so it's a safe bet you'll find smut in my work! Also love that you think I'm writing fast lol I feel like I'm going so slow compared to Lavender but I really needed to have better balance between life and fic writing this time. While it's not written yet, I do have the whole fic story mapped so there's a plan for every major plot point. It's definitely intentional! I hope it keeps coming off that way and that you keep enjoying it!

Thank you so so so much for reaching out and for spending your time reading these fics. I loved reading your thoughts!! Love you!!

[ladyhindsight]

Hello! I just finished rereading The Lost Book of The White and I'm back on full force from the Stuff That Nobody Else Cares About department. I agree a lot with your general opinions on the book, I'm just clinging to some details now. Warning: Robert-adjacent rant (+ Maryse). Again.

A few years ago, The Land I Lost came out and it made a reference to the occasion of this book mentioning a time that Alec and Magnus let Max under the care of Maryse and her boyfriend, but the boyfriend part was edited out.

SRB is the co-author of that novella, and she was asked about it. Honestly, being the way I am, I was waiting for this book to see 1) Robert, because CC had said on her tumblr that he would show up to be cute with Max and 2) clarification on the Maryse's boyfriend thing.

Was I sad that I didn't get anything? Yes, while at the same time understanding that if Robert did show up it would be just fanservice for like 4 people in the world instead of anything actually meaningful. Just like Maryse's presence was: they could have let Max under the care of anyone else and wouldn't make a difference.

I suppose this is the part I'm upset about, as one of those 4 people in the world, I understand that Robert's character is done, in the sense that there's pretty much nothing else CC has to say about him, (take this with a lot of salt) and everything else about him from now on is just blatent fanservice. Like, CC gave CJ thumbs up to include in the graphic novel adaptation that when Clary used the rune that made people see in her their most loved one, Robert sees Michael, and CJ even included it with the whole page divided between Luke seeing Jocelyn/Robert seeing Michael, which, you know, gives all that vibe.

I love it so much, but you know, it's just fanservice that doesn't change anything. That's fine.

I wouldn't say the same about Maryse, though. I feel like her character is somehow simpler than Robert's, but that's also because the books are a mess and Robert's character was even more of a mess too before being loosely fixed in extra content/companion books etc. SRB's reply made me excited because I thought that the book would contain something that would be ABOUT Maryse, it didn't have to be a relationship, but if it's going to tell us something about her, I take it, as TSC is very romance-centered anyway.

Now I don't understand the thought process behind the change, and I had the idea of telling you about this after reading the extra story of the Jessa wedding that is included in my translated copy.

Maryse and Kadir were there too, already deep in conversation with Jocelyn and Luke. Kadir hadn’t been on the guest list Jem and Tessa had given Magnus, because they didn’t really know him, but Magnus had added him as Maryse’s plus-one. It never hurt to butter up your boyfriend’s mother, especially when she was willing to babysit for days at a time.

?

Being someone's plus-one in this sort of private occasion doesn't have many possible meanings, so I was like, Kadir is supposed to be Maryse's boyfriend, okay, but why anything about it couldn't be said in the book, as it was implied to be the plan according to SRB's reply? The whole trilogy exists to be a fanservice fest, and I'm very okay with that of all things, since clearly nothing that happens in books 1 and 2 so far changes anything in the main story, so it could be all 400 pages of fanservice for the hardcore fans and be it, I'm just upset because there was a setup for this book to have something about Maryse more than just her being there and Kadir standing beside her being there too, and it would have been so nice to have this universe remember non-immortal 25+ year old people exist too and that their story isn't "over." (I'm not even 25 by the way, I surprised myself getting so frustrated with these books)

Maryse is stepping down from the head of the institute position, which already doesn't make much sense to me (it's JUST so Jace can become the head of the institute in her place, I knooooow), and she is very connected with her family (I guess, since two of her children still live with her?) and seems to be in a relationship with Kadir, someone we are told to have been somehow close to the family for several years, and that includes several years before Maryse got divorced, and that's a interesting dynamic, as they've known each other for a pretty long time and Kadir certainly saw Maryse going through changes. I WANT TO KNOW ABOUT ALL OF THIS (cries)

And this book could perfectly have been the place for it. I hope you can figure out a coherent thought behind this word vomit I did, sorry.

Be well!

- R

Hope you've been well with me taking forever to answer your messages!!

I often feel like the Department of the Stuff That Nobody Else Cares About holds the most interesting things that are generally ignored, and we are lead to these discoveries by our obsessions over some side characters the author didn’t really intend to have this kind of scrutiny over.

After The Lost Book of the White in continuation with Queen of Air and Darkness, Maryse has become more or less a convenient baby sitter whenever it’s inconvenient for the kids to be around in the story. I didn’t actually know about that boyfriend line. I don’t mind Maryse having a boyfriend, her kids having a stepfather—I just hoped it would not be Kadir just for the sake of having one man-woman friendship that isn’t in any level romantic (though simultaneously he’d be an awesome, if not the best choice). Kit and Livvy didn’t even manage that and they were just friends.

I was similarly conflicted with the graphic novel. On the other hand, I felt really warm about Robert seeing Michael and Michael truly being the one he loved most (which is also weird because, Robert, you have children), and also on the other hand, like you said, it was just for fan service. I’ve said and will keep saying that there is nothing I trust about Clare as an author other than her infinite love for the Herondales. Everything else is questionable, and come to think of it, it’s tiring that there’s nothing else I can really trust as to her intentions with the narrative. The first time I read Born to Endless Night, I felt the major shift in Robert’s and Maryse’s characters. Though I now find it fun and a light piece of reading, I remember the distinct impression of how fan fiction-esque it all felt. It was surreal, to be offered all that but at the same time it felt like crap? Lol

Kadir has been such a constant at Maryse’s side, so I would not be surprised if Clare eventually did go for the romantic angle for them. If she doesn’t, I’m not saddened at all for the reason mentioned above. I don’t know, it could go either way, and I’d probably be fine with it.

As to Robert, I don’t get why authors make promises like that when the final story doesn’t even include them. The only time Robert is mentioned is this:

It was strange to walk into that same Institute, with a Lightwood next to him, holding their child. To have Maryse Lightwood as something more like family and less like a business partner he could never fully trust. He was glad that Robert, at least, was busy with Inquisitor business in Idris. Inquisiting some folks, he assumed.

He wasn’t even around. Where is my scene of Robert with Max, Clare? Where is it!!

[syn4k]

do your thing, word boy

hell yeah. ok so this one isn't gonna be put under a cut because i hate you all and you WILL read my words, boy

most of our writing style inspo comes from books! wow! words influence words! who woulda thought

the one singular novel that i can say with confidence is the most like our writing style is All the Light we Cannot See by Anthony Doerr.

ATLWCS (god what an ugly abbreviation i'm never using that again) is a story told from two viewpoints- one of a girl living in France, the other a boy in Germany. set pre-and-during-and-post WWII, the two spin ever and ever closer to each other over the course of the war. there's shockingly little romance in it and the focus is on the life of these two children, for children they are, rather than their deaths.

i cannot explain the plot, for it circles back in on itself and everything is connected and gods it's so GOOD. the author according to the information on the inside jacket of the cover spent 10 years researching this and i can tell. houugh.

here's a picture of the 3rd or 4th chapter. we have read this book about 7 or 8 times by now, as you can tell from the dog-eared page

the lilting, rolling pace, the casual insertion of details that make the whole world come alive, and of course the STUNNING descriptions really made an impression on us when we first read this.

i will admit that we did not buy this book, we took it home in our backpack one day in 6th grade after flying through the first few chapters and it never found its way back. we've changed schools three times since then. the book has not.

for me, what really makes this so incredible is just how.. casual the writing is? it effortlessly explains the minutiae of life by outlining a couple key points. we saw that and we were like oh my god that's so good. i HAVE to do that.

-:-

in second place for Books that Irreversibly Changed our Brain Chemistry is The Places beyond the Maps by Douglas Kaine McKelvey.

set in Andrew Peterson's fictional fantasy world of Aerwiar, the story follows the path of a man who lost his daughter to a twisted evil and who had lost himself to grief, resigning himself to the fact that she was beyond all knowledge (to him) dead. swearing an oath to bring her home or bring her justice and failing both, he goes as a wanderer in the long wilderness and eventually finds his way to meet his Maker Himself.

needless to say, we are currently reading this out to a friend and the writing style is *impeccable.*

where Doerr's prose is clear and smooth, utterly graceful and allowing the reader to glimpse clearly the truths that lie deep underneath like the seafloor upon which all else is viewed, McKelvey's is haunting and etched with some undefinable grief through which, occasionally, one can divine the simple truth at the center of all things.

needless to say, being put at the end of a collection of fairly lighthearted short stories matching the tone of the original saga, this novella hit us like a fucking Train and we have been stealing some of his long, rambling, impossibly patient descriptions for our own works for a while now. no you can't get this on its own and without missing out on some massively important context which would require an entire rant about the wingfeather saga on its own but that's another ask entirely and ANYWAYS continuing on

we've actually been leaning heavily on this specific description of loss within the self for our characterization of Pixl in Ashes! if you've read the book and if you look closely enough, you'll see some parallels there :]

-:-

this doesn't have as much influence on our writing as a whole but i'd like to give an honorable mention to anne carson in third place who effortlessly blends the present and the past in glowing verse and- ok. Ok let me share some screenshots from her translation of the play Antigone and one singular picture from her translations of Sappho's poetry and you'll see what i mean

how will i ever be normal about this. spoiler alert i won't and i'm happy about it. like. gestures vaguely. one day we will be able to focus enough on this to make a whole post about it but for now i think that's it, thanks for coming to my ted talk lol

[mermaidsirennikita]

So I was rewatching Dangerous Liaisons, and it got me thinking if there are any Historical Romance with a similar ish plot, with a HEA of course. You know of any?

Hmmmm

I would say check out Beyond Scandal and Desire by Lorraine Heath. Obviously, nothing Lorraine writes is quite as messed up as DL, but it does center on Mick Trewlove attempting to lure and seduce and ruin Aslyn. For revenge rather than a better, but that reminds me of Valmont, personally. (Though Mick does of course, actually have a job and other things lol.)

Duke of Sin by Elizabeth Hoyt doesn't exactly have a similar plot, but Valentine Napier is probably closer to Valmont than a lot of other heroes--dandyish, corrupted, sick in the head, carnal. The tone of the book is on the darker side (TW for a lot of recounting of child abuse and also the whole dolphin sex cult thing, CSA). Bridget isn't an innocent by any means (one of my favorite parts of this book is when after they hook up for the first time Valentine is like "soooo you weren't a virgin" and she's like "no" and he's all "... HUH. Anyone I need to kill?" and she's like "also no" and that's kind of it) but she is very sensible and a good contrast to his insanity, lol. Maiden Lane in general is the series I'd like to on this front, as it tends to be a little on the darker side and also Georgian. I really need to reread (or relisten to) The Serpent Prince, because something tells me this would give you some of these vibes (I remember the hero being SO FLASH, like his buckles had diamonds and shit, and there was definitely a duel by swordpoint) but I don't remember exactly what happened.

OOOOH LADY VIPER AND THE BASTARD BY EVA LEIGH. This is exactly what you wanna read, lol. It's a novella, but the story is great and it's so hot/emotional. The heroine is a 40-something widow who's known for her seductive and viper-like qualities, and the hero is this infamous rake who's similarly renowned. They've always been like, attracted to each other, but they're kind of rivals. Then separate families basically hire them to break up this young couple through seduction, but they end up falling in love with each other instead. AMAZING.

[i-can-even-burn-salad]

The Tenth Tier

The Tenth Tier by Ria Hill

So uh, this is not the usual angsty fantasy romance I put here, but rather some dystopian horror. Apparently every so often I do need some Fucked Up Shit :) If you’re also interested in some Fucked Up Shit, read on.

In a society where death is orchestrated by the government, the Tiered system keeps people honest. It keeps people from running. It keeps people scared. Lawrence Nero will never forget the day six years ago when the mysterious Captain Black appeared at his home to “retrieve” him. Lawrence didn’t go. Now his little sister, Amy, is volunteering to die for the same government agency that has been after him since he ran.

In the future, the government controls the population by deciding who gets to have children and who dies. When your name is called, your time is over, and the more time you waste when they come to get you, the more unpleasant it will be - the “tier” increases. Tier ten is for those who run and are brought back. No one knows what it means, but there are rumors...

The story follows the lives of four people, all entangled in this system in their own way. There really isn’t much about it I can say without spoilering a lot, and that would take the fun out of it. For the same reason, I can’t really give content warnings; but I can say that nothing is graphic, and the ending was better than I had expected :D

And that Amy has my whole heart.

[ID: The book cover shows a closeup of a hand, knocking at a wooden door. The person knocking seems to be wearing a suit. The title of the book, “the tenth tier”, is written across the door, and the text “a novella”, as well as the author’s name Ria Hill are written at the bottom of the cover. End ID.]

[h-pelessly]

May Reads

Books I Read this month;

Heathen & Honeysuckle by Sarah A Bailey (8/10) This is my first Sarah A Bailey book. I genuinely thought this was her debut novel which absolutely blew me away because it was honestly very descriptive and beautiful.  Besides the stress on the amount of ARCs that I have/had, I still had a good time. I loved the flashbacks which made me feel comfortable and at home (I am an ocean girlie after all) but the second chance part was unrealistic (like how are you gonna tell me over a decade, a MAN will never forget and dedicate his life to a girl that left him in the middle of the night a literal decade?) Like it’s very romantic don’t get me wrong, but it’s crazy how whipped Leo was for Darby. Darby was very boring like straight-edged, and she really needed Leo, but just hearing about her lifestyle made me feel stuck (small town vibes.) ALSO, I love that Leo calls Darby honeysuckle like that’s such a cute nickname, but like??? He tells her her mouth is deadly from the moment they meet like HUH???? I was under the impression the spice was spicing, but regardless, the story is chef’s kiss. Unrealistic but sweet like honeysuckle.

The Lies We Tell by Cassandra Diviak (6.9/10) This was an ARC read. I’ve never read anything from the author before, but I was happy to give indie authors a chance. Although the tropes caught my attention, the book was kind of boring. I couldn’t connect to the characters. Maybe it was just the fact that they were a part of the higher economic status and seemed (uncharacteristically) proper, and my stigma on stuck up higher class people. I also dislike the poor vs rich trope. I mean it isn’t that bad considering I have a manuscript kind of using that trope, but some times the trope really bothers me. It was fake dating, but maybe I just couldn’t see the sparks between the two as well. It was a slow burn which I don’t mind, but like I was saying, there was no tension between the two in my opinion so it was so boring. But the ending had so much sex like damn yall are like bunnies. ANYWAYS, I feel bad, but I could NOT connect at all.

Same Time Next Year by Tessa Bailey (6/10) I felt bad for this being such a low review, but it was a novella and hence it being short, so much was left out in addition to it not making sense. It was fun and tension filled, but Google could've been Miss. Bailey's friend through all this. Yeah, it was romance filled, but at what cost? Not only was the MMC, Sumner, not hot, but the FMC, Britta, was a walking red flag. Sumner was described to look like a thumb, but he was also creepy. Like how tf are you gonna tell me he got off to the imagined image of Britta walking down the aisle holding flowers? If that doesn't scare just EVERYONE, I'll be damned. Maybe that makes me a walking red flag also. However, Britta doesn't want even a relationship because she's so assured it will fail. It is understandable, but Miss Girl needs therapy not a husband. Yeah, I love the "my wife" microtrope, but the whole thing didn't make sense. They were about to make out in the immigration parking lot, and when seeing the officer, he says "I know the real deal when I see it" hello???????

Mile High by Liz Tomforde (6.5/10) only giving it a .5 more than the last one (although it is also a 2 stars on my GRs) because of mental health. Other than that, what the fuck was this. 5% in, I wanted to DNF because the MMC was so unattractive to me like Miss Liz could've threw in something instead of "I'm just a pro hockey player" and am always on the go and hookup. Like that's the go-to with pro sports and I am sick of it!!! At least give him some personality. NGL, it was an audiobook so the voice gave me the ick-- the reader sounded southern (which is a huge part of where I'm going.) Towards the middle, I realized he was black. I'm like ?????? WHAT?????? I did NOT get that, and that's such a bad writing technique in my opinion. I did live the FMC, Stevie, at first, but then her only personality became living in ragged sweats. Like???? hello make her more interesting. And the author kept writing her as having unmanagable hair. Then a quarter in, I realized that she's half black which makes sm sense of the author reading (which still sounds southern in my opinion, but it is what it is.) But the author describing her as having unmanagable hair????? A WHITE AUTHOR??? WILD. And their third act breakup was so stupid like at least in Consider Me, it was heartbreaking and believable. This was stupid like I know Stevie has a low self esteem, but like ???? did she not know what dating a pro sports player would entail? Also, he, whatever the fuck, Zanders, broke up with her like a toy and she was hurt over it even though SHE was the one hesitant to get with him in the first place? Makes sense tbh, but like have some self respect girl. And also, running from her problems??? The one who should be badass after putting up with her mom and ex's shit for so long? Also, as a mental health advocate, how could Zanders not see that Stevie needs a therapist more than a relationship? But ok.

Small Town Hero by Olivia Hayle (7/10) I thought this book was adorable. It was a sweet romance— I would say clean but I guess it’s more of a YA although they do kiss like a few times. The best friend’s brother/brother’s best friend trope enthralls me, but this book was slow for me. It was slow in the way that I could not connect to the characters. Maybe it’s because I didn’t read the previous book, but it wasn’t needed to understand it. Jamie, the FMC, was emotionally abused by an ex so she and their kid picked up and moved back to her small hometown. She runs into her ex best friend’s brother who is immediately in love with her. Parker, the MMC, always saw her beauty and admired her, but he kept his distance as a cool kid. I’m okay with this trope of cool guy/nerdy girl, but what I don’t understand is how Jamie, who was explained as a rulebreaker/strong girl succumbed to her ex. Like I know emotional abuse works, but how did she let it get so far if she were such a strong leader? Anyways, I love Parker. He’s so kind and patient with her. I hope as a single mom book, we saw more of the kid/boyfriend interaction, but it did well to skipping boring parts so we can see the MMC/FMC interact.

Hating the Player by Rebecca Jenshak (7.89/10) I don’t know why I expected Violet’s book to make me like Violet more, but absolutely not. She was so annoying and like I get that she’s a fashion student, but I was like dude this is so boring. Anyways, Gavin was the best part of this book. I like how calm and collected he was. I was so conflicted to like this book or not bc it’s enemies to lovers, second chance, no third act break up but VIOLET!!!! People were hating on Gavin bc how could he hook up if he believed Violet was the love of his life which I completely agree, but you can only do so much if the other person doesn’t want you. So I did like this book, but the FMC was annoying.

Hilarious by Jess Savage (6.9/10) I honestly don’t remember signing up for this ARC bc I haven’t read the last 3 books, but it is what it is. This is supposed to take place 5 years after the last book I guess so they are 23/24 now. Ella, one of the FMC, is to be wedded off after her stunt of declaring she was part of a throuple. When she admitted this five years ago, her family shunned her, and the only way to get back in their good graces was to carry on life as if it never happened without and stunts. In order to do this, Ella shuts out Jack, MMC, and Hailey, FMC. When she comes back, she runs into them and all her memories come back. I honestly don’t believe Ella ever loved the two. I think most of it is lust because she constantly talks about her parts tingling with the thought of them but like her heart??? There was no commitment when she says she loved them. Her mom was the worst, and though her dad was the one that originally shunned Ella, her mom makes a 360 at the end to accept her. Like ??? Nah, it’s because her mom is a clout chaser since the Stewarts no longer own the club. Ella will always be the mean girl to me. People say Hailey is annoying, but Ella literally exists like she chose her reputation. I get as a child you’re scared, but she had YEARS afterward to reconcile, and she still chose her homophobic parents. Jack is a lovesick idiot, and Hailey is always horny and has daddy issues.

The Teacher by Freida McFadden (7/10) Honestly I was confused about the plot of the story like I didn't know what we were going towards. I wasn't the biggest fan of the plot because it had a lot of cheating and SA, but Freida's writing is fast paced and easy to digest. I like the professor x student/forbidden love tropes, but this book gave me the biggest ick ever because not only was it a minor and a teacher, I was confused!!!!!1 This man, Nathaniel, gave me the biggest ick ever like he was obviously cheating on his wife which made him a big red flag, but also like he was "attractive" and all, but like how do we know. He was literally called "hot" and attractive, but like what was he like? Descriptors would help, but anyways, words wouldn't help him anyway because he is a child MOLESTER!!!!!11 Back to the story like Eve, the wife, wasn't a girls' girl and honestly shouldn't be an educator because like I get this girl got your mentor fired or whatever, but like to have a personal vendetta against someone half your age is insane. To add on, she made Adi's life miserable like what is this???? I get students being mean to her for this rumor, but a teacher???? No way, dude. Anyways, Eve was cheating on Nate all this time because the man wouldn't give Eve attention, whatnot. Then Nate becomes obsessed with Adi and yadiya, you know the gist. Then Adi accidentally kills Eve????? But Eve didn't die then Nate kills her???? Then Eve isn't dead yet????? How is this even real like what are the chances? And it turns out the guy Eve was cheating on was Adi's best friend?? Like HUH??? Is it a case of SAs all around or like what the fuck because like Hudson "Jay" is seen at school also???? HELLO?????

[booksandwords]

Realigned by Becca Seymour

Series: Coming Home #1 Read time: 1 Day Rating: 4/5 Stars

The Quote: Heat spread over every inch of my skin. Wicked tongue. My brain had short-circuited at some point in the last thirty minutes or so. I didn’t know if it had started when he admitted his feelings for me or at the mention of seduction. I knew one thing for sure, though: my addled brain could not shake the thought of his tongue. — Shaun O'Ryan

Warnings: None. Just a rock-loving scientist and his selfless idiot.

Realigned is Shaun's story. Shaun O'Ryan is an Australian country boy, a geologist employed by NASA. He's been living in America for 8 years not coming home in all that time, talking to his family by phone and occasional visits by them. Now he's in Australia for a two-week stay. The first event in the book is Shaun getting pulled over for speeding... a joke by his lifelong friend Sergeant Mitch Harris. It is kinda funny and is a perfect example of their relationship dynamic.

The novellas epigraph is Take risks.. This sets the tone for the whole story. Shaun is being headhunted by a big company, his family (especially his mum) wants him to stay in Australia for good, taking the offer and coming home. They decide to use Mitch as a weapon knowing full well that Shaun and Mitch have had a thing for each other for a decade. Honestly, it's simple enough. It is Shaun saying I can't have sex involved if I'm going to make a logical decision here. It's a premise a liked and I appreciated that Becca choose to use a single narrator to tell her story. Sometimes having both spoils the surprise for some events.

Have some of the long quotes I liked.

Since it was midweek, there were only a handful of patrons propping up the bar. I greeted every one of them with a handshake when they declared the astronaut had returned. I simply smiled and indicated to Mitch to hurry the hell up with our drinks. There was no point even attempting to explain I wasn’t an astronaut. Yeah, I was lucky enough to work for NASA, but I was all about geology and research. It didn’t matter in a small town like this though. Six hours from civilisation in the arse of the outback, most of the residents heard NASA and decided for themselves I would be travelling the solar system at some point in the future. Who was I to spoil their fun? — I have nothing to add to this really. It just feels like he is the ultimate hometown boy made good. This quote almost said more about him than anything else we got early on. (Shaun)

Apparently everyone knew whatever it was Mum was failing to act coy about. Even my brothers-in-law looked prepped for a reveal. I took a few moments to try to figure out what was going on before returning my attention to Mum. This time her expression was more relaxed, just too much so considering everyone else’s reaction. — Oh the pure joy of this level of this family dynamic. I love it so much. Meddling mothers are the best. (Shaun)

“Not quite sure yet.” I indicated Mitch with a chin lift. “That’s a question for Sarge.” I looked over at him and threw him a wink. “God help us all.” Lorna chuckled, and I glanced back to see her watching the two of us, an amused smile on her lips and a gentleness in her eyes. “You boys back together again.” She shook her head. “Not sure if it’s a good or bad thing Mitch here is now the sarge. Does that mean you’ll get away with even more, rather than not getting up to any crazy stunts?” With her brows raised high, she studied Mitch then clucked. I had no idea what she’d read on his face, but by the time I looked at him, his face was a picture of innocence. I rolled my eyes, not at all convinced. — There are several reasons I like small-town romance, particularly back home after a long-time romance, moments like this are one of them. The people who knew them as kids, the trouble making them, get the whole oh help us all vibe. It's fun and funny. (Shaun and Lorna)

"I’m happy with weird if it means you keep looking at me the way you do.” “What way is that?” I squeaked. “Like you want me to be yours and you don’t want me to ever let you go.” I was done. It was time to stick a damn fork in me. — I just love that last line. I know this is a fairly common quote but somehow it feels like home to me. I can't explain it. I also like the set-up here. (Mitch and Shaun)

I like Becca Seymour for her Australian romance. They have some angst, a whole lot of sweetness and Australian linguistics. Realigned is no exception to this. Better yet it is free on both amazon and Prolific Works (likely other platforms as well), giving this broad access option if a reader wants to try her writing for the first time. I'm giving this 4 rather than 3⭐ because it is free, yes it is short. But it is a HFN, not a HEA and I'm more than okay with that. This does have a follow-up Amalgamated, I will be reading that as well I think. It follows the same sort of ideas.