#and wont for a few years probably
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people trying to help me in too pushy of a way <3 how do i say thanks so much but leave me alone <3
#i literally dont WANT you to cc the ceo of a center for helping small businesses in an email to me im not in business yet 🙃#she literally immediately scheduled a zoom call for tomorrow morning to talk abt applying for a program im not ready for!!#i dont want to apply for a loan im not ready for all that!!!#i literally wont be opening for almost a decade im just planting trees every spring i dont need to do anything else#in ten years i might want to buy some used equipment#aaaaaaaa#this lady i know has been telling me abt this organization for months which is very nice and encouraging me to reach out to them#but i have literally no need or reason to do that yet#and wont for a few years probably#but she got inpatient ig and just reached out for me and now things are happeninggg#i literally have no pitch for my business it barely exists <3#i registered to claim the name so technically it exists and i planted a crop this spring that wont be ready for 8 years but thats it lol#we dont exist exist#anyway this lady means so very well and wants to help but im so stressed abt this i wasnt ready to deal with this lol#anyway its an organization that helps women and minority businesses or somethingggg idk anything abt it 😭#and im pretty sure the program she's signing me up for will cost money that i dont have 😣#i literally dont need to do a small business workshop at this point im just starting out and wont be open for years#ughhhhh#now i have a business zoom call first thing in the morning like an actual professional adult 😐#this has been a shitpost#anyway its probably a good and wonderful thing that i should be grateful for but its happening too fast and im not prepared#so i dont want to ruin the opportunity by being a dummy who doesn't know abt business ten years before i am even ready for the opportunity#😣😣😣#im sure its all good and fine and helpful but aaaaaaaaaa
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Hey guys. So I know we've all gotten some very bad news, and anyone with a conscience is deeply upset. But one of the things this means is that the situation in Palestine is even more urgent, because we know that while Kamala might have, Trump isn't going to listen to any calls to lessen America's support of violence in Palestine. So, I'm putting out my next fundraiser post a bit earlier than expected - I really, really encourage you all to read these and try to match at least one of my donations, and reblog if you can't. I wish you all the best.
Waleed Ayman Alanqar and family - vetted (#107) - The fundraiser is for Waleed, his wife Areej Haniyyeh, and their 3 year old son, Ayman. They were forced from their home almost a year ago. The fundraiser is to help them raise the money needed for the family of 3 to evacuate to Egypt. They have €1,606 raised of their €20,000 goal - only 8%! - so I'm donating a little more than the usual €5 (€7). Waleed's tumblr account is @ayman-waleed, if you want more info.

Alaa and family - vetted - Alaa and her husband were displaced from their home on October 7, while Alaa was pregnant. Alaa's husband died before their daughter was even born, and now Alaa is raising her baby without him, after having to give birth without the needed medical care. Because of the poor conditions, her daughter has been suffering from illness, including a viral stomach infection and histolytica worms. Alaa needs to pay for her daughter's medical treatments, and for milk and diapers which are very expensive in Palestine right now. They have $14,280 raised out of their $30,000 goal. Alaa's account(s), for more information: @alaa-gaza / @alaa-gaza223

Wafaa Abdul Karim Abu Al-Rish and family - vetted / vetted - The fundraiser is for Wafaa (@wafaaresh3) and her family, which includes her mother, her brother Mohi (@mohiy-gaza), her sister Fidaa (@fidaa-family2), and Fidaa's two children (Sila, who is two years old, and Mohamed, who is 6 months old). They also have a cat. They have been displaced more than 10 times. Wafaa's mother has chronic illness (hypertension), and is unable to access her medicine, which means her health is getting increasingly worse over time. The main goal of the fundraiser is to help the family evacuate to Egypt. Wafaa's fundraiser has $74,018 raised out of her $85,000 goal.

I'm going to post a second part with three more fundraisers soon!
Here's my previous fundraiser posts: Post 1, post 2, post 3
#I'm going over budget with these hopefully my mom wont get upset at me#We have the money I'm just. unemployed. And taking this from the Family Money because my credit card still isnt approved#BUT! I recently applied for a job that I think I might get!!#(ive been given permission to do this im just given a specific budget for it that im going over rn bc ive gotten so many more messages than#usual)#i gotta earn family money access from doing extra work around the house. which is honestly pretty dope bc i never got an allowance#or anything like that. growing up#probably in part because we didnt have any real money until a few years back when my mom got a good job#free palestine#save gaza#all eyes on palestine#text#american politics#donald trump
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Always always always thinking about childhood friends au
#golden kamuy#vasio#ogata hyakunosuke#vasily pavlichenko#my art#doodles#sketchy#comic!!#anyways the childhood friends au is that the weird russian boy wont stop chattering at ogata who doesnt understand a word vasily is saying#but hes nice company probably. ogata never had a friend before. and vasily likes guns too so theyll hunt ducks together#ends up with ogata learning a few words of russian before canon but vasily disappears after a few months or maybe a year of being in ibaraki#and ogata never sees him again. until.........
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1x16 | The Blind Fortune Teller 🔮🃏
And to think the way this scene - and the absolutely masterful performance by Cameron Monaghan - snowballed into what can only be described as Schrodinger's Joker for the rest of Gotham's run
#Gotham#season 1#jerome valeska#jim gordon#lee thompkins#the blind fortune teller#Gotham 10 Year Anniversary Extravaganza#yes i know this and yesterdays gifsets are late#when i tell you i literally have had zero time#in between final month of wedding planning & new job obligations & shit hitting the fan#the only way I've been able to actually put these together is quite literally not sleep#i've probably gotten a grand total of 6 hours this week#wont be doing much sleep tonight either#but we're in the home stretch and i am excited!#honestly pretty happy with the way some of these gifs came out#1x17 will be posted literally as soon as its made (hopefully in a few hours)#my gifs#mine
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dnp be ready to square up if CAD pricing is homophobic 🤜 🤜🤜🤜🤜
#dan and phil#dan howell#phil lester#phan#like. we KNOW IT WILL BE. but price it like american at LEAST 😭😭#goin through a COL crisis up here bestiesssss#and honestly. canadians buying merch has probably dropped off SO MUCH in the last few years with our insane shipping too#because they woNT JUST ADD US TO THE AMERICAN SITE 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#and you’re in canada for all of two days you could handle the conversion difference loss 😭😭😭😭#like the fact that SILVER vip was nearly $200 😭😭😭😭😭😭
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Designs for Static, Road Rash, and Sunstorm!!
Some changes from their original designs and story,
Road Rash is still in their cybertronian alt mode, didn't join the Autobots.
Static is more bulky and no longer missing
And Sunstorm never actually showed up in the comic I was making so nothing really changed in his design... He's silly I love him :3
#maccadam#transformers oc#sunstorm#Hes got a little device that helps keep is whole radioactive spark thing under control. :3#“Wheres rabid” you ask? you wont be seeing their design until i post the NEW comic.#which will probably start happening sometime after i finish my other fan continuity's fic. so anywhere between a few months to a year
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I'm the type of bitch to throw money down on a bill I can barely afford, and then immediately run to buy a new doll as a consolation.
#monster high#bratz#rainbow high#dollblr#dropped $500 on my damn electric bill and then went and bought two dolls from amazon#to be fair i wouldnt have if they weren't on a wicked sale#i got the bratz felicia which was only $11 and bratz babyz jade for $7#ive been wanting them both for so long#is there a likely chance that they're so cheap due to factory mistakes? yeah...#but i cant be mad if they're that cheap#the only thing is my niece got felicia for christmas and i probably could have convinced her to give it to me#its still in box because she's convinced it'll be worth something in a few years#havent had the heart to tell her that probably wont be the case...at least not for a good long while#text post
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Is this a safe space to admit i enjoy cringe media or am i gonna get jumped
#carols.txt#hiding said media in the tags#i unfortunately actually do like south park . thats my 17 children#i could explain all the reasons i do like it and all the problems i have with said media obviously (which is quite a few💀 gods help us)#but i feel like im gonna get mass unfollowed. even if i do though would that even matter???#do i want to be free? thats really the question#because i do have it as an interest that comes back every year or so around january#like clockwork#LMAO#decisions decisions...#i guess like many others i see depths where there isn't any but it being kind of unintentional makes it very true to reality in a way?#regardless i probably wont ever post about it. i probably will delete this later. it depends really
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Jacksepticeye being on tumblr is crazy. I follow him now and he responds to like everyone who speaks his name. Apparently he's had a tumblr since 2014. I didn't even realize he had a tumblr until he came back. What da hell are you doing here !!
#not a reblog#he wont respond to this one because I'm a small blog#and that's okay !!#man. I would've killed to have interacted with him a few years ago#I was like. obsessed with his content#I've calmed down now#which is funny#bc the time I finally have the chance to interact I'm like '...nah I'll let the guy rest'#he probably has so many fans trying to get his attention rn#Jack if you're reading this your Bendy and The Ink Machine video changed my life!!#so did The Boss (game)#also if you're reading this. Get out of here my blog has less than like 50 followers how did you find me#jacksepticeye
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how do y'all motivate yourself to do anything?? I'm amazed I can even remember to eat once a day, go to work most days, but this shit is ridiculous, man
#meanwhile i cant get my damn imagination to work either so all my shitty ass drawings take forever to make now#and then i cant imagine being alive another few years at this point#i have to move out bc i can barely afford this place and its already insanely cheap compared to the city#but im moving to my aunt's bc she has literally 9 different kinds of cancer and wasnt supposed to live thru Christmas and is now declining#so Someone needs to be there bc its likely her spine will go first before everything else#but when she dies i cant exactly pay her mortgage so then im just out AGAIN and I'll probably have to go live middle of nowhere again#which isnt gonna help anything if things only continue to get worse for queer people and the economy#like going back to college wont do anything for me#switching jobs wont do anything either at this point#i dont have the energy to do something different anyway#ughhhh#im just stuck cant do anything to improve anything for myself or anyone else#im constantly terrified something is gonna happen to my nephew or my mom and then my only supports will be gone#and i just wont have any way to convince myself not to just off myself instantly#im amazed how much ive been holding off the powerdrill hours feeling lately#its like CONSTANT#no matter what im doing#even being able to hang out with my nephew? not good enough for this stupid brain apparently#ughhh#i hate it#orbs thought bubbles
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Finally caved at all the BNHA posting Gummy and Zaina have been doing 🤧🤧 have some updated character designs from my crazed BNHA days
#fun fact I ws that insane with it that I created two aussie-esque classes plus teachers PLUS three japanese and their families worth of ocs#all while only ever watching 7 episodes and learning everything from my friend and insta spoilers#man. it was wild#ANYWAYS they#bnha#boku no hero academia#mha#my hero academia#my art hhhh#thats all im gonna tag I probably wont draw them for another few years unless my beloved mutuals wish for something <3
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I have things to do that I very much do not want to and I am trying to be brave about it
#I definitely need to shower and its probably in my best interest to do that now rather than at 10 pm#and we have accounting homework that needs to be dealt with because I'll be out at our inlaws' on saturday and wont have time to work on it#but I just want to sit in bed and watch the clouds go by for a few hours#our window is wonderful. it's south facing and quite tall so it lets in so so so much natural light#there's not a lot about this apartment that I love (thank you neglectful and cheap slumlord) but the windows. man.#the windows and high ceilings almost make up for the bullshit like having no bathroom light or fan for a year#and the landlord being pretty much unreachable and incredibly unreliable#almost.
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its been 3 weeks hasnt it? sorry ive been having... a time. im just not fully mentally with myself but i think im ready to get back to writing again. maybe... ive got 2 asks imma get to em... eventually. maybe will write something easier to kick myself back into gear
#srry for the impromptu hiatus#having some ideas but idk if i can act on them#I worry a bit abt the vonel ask#Im a bit worried that my interpretation of him wont be recived well#my brain feels so mushyyyy#I had also this shower thought#maybe like a few chapter fanfic InspectorxCalensk#like remember that writing piece i rb that made the alone in a cell ending so much more tragic#so thats the set up#Calensk is the guard#lowkey tries to work through with each others trauma#Calensk's wife either died or divorced him#so more angst#Inspector is maybe let out years later and Calensk takes him in#even more complicated gay angst#thats the idea#but idk ive been trying to make something with this pairing for long#but everything just didnt glue together#and the chapter structure... idk cause i like to be able to go back and work on the whole#but yall probably would prefer chapter by chapter release...#either way idk abt this but yeah just my thoughts so have this lil update#im going back to trying to get reclaimed by the dirttttt
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#im honestly scared im losing my voice#like i used to be able to sing relatively on key#but my voice has been very weak for weeks now and i lost all my high notes that i could do. It's also super rigid. Lost all its sublteties#and i always feel like i lack air or that i need 10x more air than i used to to hit a note. Like now my voice straight up cracks and about#nothing comes out of my throat. Also can't hold a note anymore because my voice is feeble. Im flat a lot of the time also.#this is very frustrating because i really love singing. Tho i keep it to myself (and unfortunate neighbours) it's is a big way for me to#express feelings relax and have fun. Literally if i lose my voice i will be very sad#tho i'd felt my voice getting a bit weaker since 2021 or so; it was never this drastic ???#also my throat feels very contracted even when i read outloud or talk too much for too long ????#Like i feel like a probably have something like nodules or something ? i hope it's just that cause ofc the internet is like#''symptoms of larynx cancer'' whenever i search for my symptoms. But being in a town with very few doctors that wont take much into account#unless you're in a near death state; I dont know how to bring this up to the doctor. Im scared to be made fun of because it might look like#a stupid non important problem. I also do feel a weird little ball in my neck under my jaw. Which i already felt last year. But since i had#had a big laryngitis followed by a dysphonia for a couple of days where no sound could get out of my throat then followed by coughing that#lasted more than 3 weeks before it completly stopped (could only get a dr appointment 2 weeks after the 3rd week). The doctor told me the#ball was normal and that it was just still a bit swollen due to the coughing and all. So i forgot about it for a year until i got a cold#again on the 31st of december. I noticed the ball again but it just hasnt gone away since. i wonder if i was imagining the ball (cant feel#an equivalent on the other side of my neck + it's small and unoticeable without touching it). And if it has anything to do with my voice#being ruined. I feel alright apart from that. But that's ruining my mood. Cause i cant sing :/ and im scared of not being able to again.#(singing if it's not sung right and relatively on key doesnt feel fun or as fun to me )#sowwy guys for using my tumblr as a journal agaiinnnnnn#tho if anyone has had something similar; please do tell what it was and if it went away#im gonna try and rest my voice AGAIN tho it hasnt worked for now.#personal
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while i'm not sure what my activity here will be like moving forward. i do want people to know wuya is a very plot dependent muse. i don't really enjoy just winging dynamics and plots with her. she's a very old oc that's very important and dear to me so, i need plotting and dynamics to be planned out. especially with anything even a little romantically centered.
#𝟎𝟎. / ooc#i probably wont lurk on this blog very much.#i adore her a lot but. it's for personal reasons.#nothing to worry about!#like literally just me.#but i srsly welcome any dynamics!!#she's got years of development.#and quite a few verses to work with.
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i got done like 3 thumbnails out of an estimated 36. lird help me
#myst speaks#with mh coming out in a few hours i probably wont work on it much longer#at least not tonight#but i do wanna try getting it at least partially done by the end of the year...
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