#and yet SOMEHOW it all fucking WORKS THEMATICALLY

[tiredassmage]

actually have i ever told all of y'all i sort of panic-buttoned when i realized tyr didn't have a middle name and i wanted one for that piece i wrote about his old man having to recruit him into intelligence?

so anyway. tyr's middle name is vaiken. yes. yes after that. do of this what you will.

he rarely ever uses it and i think at this point its probably one of lana's secret blackmail points that she knows it and i think you'd see tyr deckard nearly pass away if she ever used it on him in public.

[lakesbian]

i am actually kind of fascinated by the worm fanfiction environment because it’s like. worm is fucking massive. there are a lot of works that are hard to write fanfiction for because they kinda say everything there is to say about themselves already within the pre-existing plot, but worm is not like that. worm is fucking massive. there are so many interesting worldbuilding details & character arcs we see implied but not played out in full that would be fun to make shit up about. if you gave me twenty minutes w/ a piece of paper and pencil i could probably come up with fifty different character-driven worm fanfiction ideas. 

like here: aisha introspecting about how her big brother carried her away from one of the worst days of her life but now she can’t figure out how to do the same for him. recounting of how 13yo alec escaped from heartbreaker. what danny was thinking and doing while taylor was gone. day in the life of the travelers w/ one bit from each of their perspectives to demonstrate all the different plates they were spinning and how inevitably those plates were gonna fall. dragon & defiant character developing convo while they’re chasing after the nine. I Could Go On. i don’t even have to bring AUs into it until i get into the thirties, probably. fuck it, if you wanna get real creative, write about the day one of the civilizations the entities previously visited got kersploded. there are a million one-off lines you could develop.

and yet. 85% of the worm fanfiction out there is just like. “what if taylor. had a different power that is less cool and thematically fitting than bugs.” the tedious convoluted AUs that would be the bottom of the barrel in literally any other fandom somehow comprise The Vast Amount of worm fanfiction. people will be out there putting characters in situations you did not know it was possible to put them in. why are we making our amy and alec dolls kiss, and more importantly, why is that one of the most notable alec fanfictions. it’s like a fucking rollercoaster ride of people seeing a universe with one million billion interesting characters in it and a bunch of free compelling narratives to explore already attached and going “Hmm. No. I want to see everything that already happened except it’s written worse and Taylor has Wolverine knifehands and keeps stabbing people.”

[otogariado]

mentioning LOST's church ending got me riled up about the racism in LOST again lol. i obviously am aware that some actors just did not return to production for possibly other reasons, but also especially in the case of harrold perrineau (michael dawson) he felt like his character (and walt, his son) was treated like shit by the writing. and he was absolutely right. i've already made posts about this (will try to dig them up later), but michael was treated absolutely bullshit and unfairly wrt the story. michael betrayed them and killed two people, yes, but what did he do it for but to protect his son? he felt like nobody gave enough fucks about walt and there was some truth to that claim. his whole character arc is about being a dad to walt and their improving relationship over the course of being stuck on the island, so of course he would do that. it just makes sense.

which is why i don't think it's all that fair to punish him for it immensely in the narrative. harrold perrineau said it himself that he didn't want michael and walt to be another case of the absent black father stereotype [citation needed, i'll look for it but he said it in an interview] yet that's what he ended up being anyway. after his and walt's escape from the island, apparently walt cast him away because he doesn't agree with what his father did—which i actually think its interesting to explore: walt disagreeing with michael's actions and trying to grapple with it, but i don't think separating him from his dad was the best writing choice to make. walt is being punished for caring about his son by making his son be the one to cast him away. you can argue it's supposed to be tragic, michael is supposed to be a tragic character, but with the context surrounding michael's character? there's better ways to make his character be tragic than this.

which brings me to his next punishment. i was happy to see michael again on the kahana (just happy to see him in general), but it didn't last long when he gets killed, sacrificing himself to prevent/prolong the kahana's explosion from happening. (put a 📌 on this bc it's similar to how sayid dies and we'll come back to that later.) michael dies here and walt doesn't know about this. and then michael joins as part of the whispers, his soul trapped on the island (presumably forever) and that's why he's not in the church ending.

i'm gonna be frank. michael being trapped on the island because of his guilt or remorse or perhaps repenting for his sins is just bullshit to me. a lot of characters seen in the flash sideways and in the church ending are characters who've done "bad things". it's bullshit to have michael be the only one doomed to pay for his misdeeds forever. his misdeeds for... killing two people. not that killing two people is Nothing, but moreso if you examine the circumstances it's hardly anything to be damned eternally for.

remember the 📌 we had wrt sayid and michael? both of them died trying to prevent an explosion from reaching everybody else. which makes this more egregious imo. i can say 1000 things about sayid's arc (points to url), but this is about michael and not him, so i'll just focus on this: sayid was grappling with "being a bad person" for torturing and killing so many people. he worked as an assassin for ben. and yet, somehow, you're telling me sayid is not being damned eternally for his misdeeds but michael is? if you don't see the BS in that i don't know what to tell you.

i'm also aware why some characters don't appear any more re:conflicts with their actors (or just availabilities or other reasons for declining to come back), but even then arguably any conflicts with harrold perrineau stemmed from a justified place because of how michael was treated.

i think mr eko had a more dignified arc (he's one of my fav characters, thematically speaking) and honestly he had some of the rawest shit i've ever heard:

I ask for no forgiveness father for I have not sinned, I have only done what I needed to do to survive. A small boy once asked me if I was a bad man, if I could answer him now I would tell him, that when I was a young boy I killed a man to save my brothers life. I am not sorry for this, I am proud of this. I did not ask for the life that I was given but it was given none the less, and with it I did my best.

but despite this it doesn't change the fact that his absence in the church ending is very noticeable. he had meaningful connections with charlie, with locke, and interestingly like michael he kind of parallels sayid but this time thematically through their arcs. sayid is constantly burdened with feeling like he's a bad person and resigning to it as some sort of self-fulfilled prophecy, but mr eko is very firm about how he sees himself as not necessarily a bad man, just a man whose hands were forced because of the cards he was dealt. i wish we could have seen a more direct parallel between them, because it would've been interesting. back to the main point: i think it's such a missed opportunity for mr eko to not be here. especially since even after his death, hurley was able to communicate with his ghost, showing that he still had connections with his fellow losties even long after his death.

ana lucia being "not ready to move on" is interesting. but ultimately you can't help but raise a few eyebrows at it anyway. you can argue that, unlike mr eko she died an unresolved death, but most of the LOST characters died with an unresolved death. (she was killed early.) that's the whole point of the sideways segments. so what makes ana lucia so different from the others? yeah she killed shannon, but that was completely a freak accident. her people (the tailies) were being picked off one by one by the other so she was understandably on edge. she was kind of a hated character but i think a lot of it is just racism and misogyny combined tbh. (LOST is...notorious for a lot of misogynistic character writing decisions.) ana lucia was just as complex and morally "ambiguous" as the rest of them. i find the decision to make her corrupt in the sideways segments interesting (negative). cz like, there was never any indication she was like this in real life. what does that corruption symbolize? because obviously that corruption is a key to why she "can't move on yet". what exactly is she supposed to be repenting for? they hinted at a possible direction her arc is going towards before killing her off, ie. her ultimately choosing not to kill "henry gale" because she no longer wants blood on her hands. again, in a way, she's just like sayid! someone who decided they'd turn away from ceaseless violence. only right afterwards she got killed. so what does she need repenting for so much that she's left out of the church ending? much to think about.

i don't really know how to conclude this post. but my main point is that the lack of these characters during the church ending is and has racist implications. (again, i understand the casting issues, but it's still a writing decision you can critique as a viewer at the end of the day). i'll try to find the old posts i made last year abt michael and mr eko and their parallels to sayid and link them here (and self reblog).

edit: go read/look up "burn it down". it details a lot of the behind the scenes mistreatment of the staff (including racism and sexism), including actors and writers. the quote from an interview from harold perrineau that i mentioned was also linked in a reblog. (post link)

[blossomwritesthings]

𝐰𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐛𝐥𝐮𝐞. | 𝐛𝐞𝐭𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐦𝐨𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐚𝐬𝐩𝐡𝐚𝐥𝐭

⬷ 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 ┊ 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭 →

pairing: felix x fem!reader (afab) // chan x fem!reader (afab)

genre: nonidol/collegegrad!felix. waitress!reader. college au. hurt/comfort. angst. fluff. smut - MDNI, 18+ only. reader pov. friends to enemies to lovers au. slowburn romance. lots of pining. cheating. abusive boyfriend/ex. drama galore. the sexual tension is REAL in this one.

content & warnings: explicit & strong language. very thematic elements. felix is reader's estranged childhood bestie. chan is low-key an asshole in this ngl. heavy topics are mentioned such as: abusive/toxic relationships, cheating, and pathological lying. drinking/partying. the summer vibes are real in this one. there will be humor/fluff throughout to balance everything. and ofc smut too because who am i if not a whore for filthy felix smut. 😉

word count: 2.5k

summary: ever since you were born, all you've ever known is living a simple life in the small australian coastal town of bridgeport bay. you're content with working at your parent's beachside restaurant angel waves for the rest of your life, and you're happy with your place in the world - you have good friends and an even better boyfriend. that is, until everything comes to a standstill when a familiar face from the past visits town for the summer. and in the wake of his return, lee felix upturns everything you thought you were content with here in your comforting little beach town.

a/n: how tf has it been so fucking long since I last updated this??? sheeshhh 💀 anyways bitches, I'm backkk and with a vengeance 😈 this bitch has finally got herself a girlfriend, and you best believe with that entails a whole new era of filthy pieces, fuck yeah besties!! 🥵 I'm estimating this series will have another 3-4 parts to it... I've planned to finish this by the end of jan 2024, thanks sm for all of your patience and support!

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ᴅᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ʀᴇᴘᴏsᴛ ᴛᴏ ᴏᴛʜᴇʀ sɪᴛᴇs (ᴛʜɪs ɪɴᴄʟᴜᴅᴇs ᴛʀᴀɴsʟᴀᴛɪᴏɴs). do not copy, spin-off, or write inspired work based off of this fanfic without full permission to do so. ©ʙʟᴏssᴏᴍᴡʀɪᴛᴇsᴛʜɪɴɢs ⤐ ᴀʟʟ ʀɪɢʜᴛs ʀᴇsᴇʀᴠᴇᴅ

Two weeks later, after the continuous ‘meetings’ that you and Felix had out on the beach early in the morning, you found yourself amid a popular club in the area, with Chris holding onto your side as the two of you swayed across the dance floor. 

 You had already finished your dinner at the fanciest Italian joint in all of Bridgeport, and you two were subsequently stuffed to the brim from all of the pasta and bread. Yet somehow, you still found yourselves at the local club, crammed in with the large crowd of other couples and single people. The smell of liquor and cigarette smoke was palpable in the air, the bass of the club songs vibrating underneath your feet and causing you to feel a little dizzy on your toes. 

 Or maybe the two shots of cherry vodka you had just drank were the thing making you dizzy. 

 “You’re so fucking hot- I love… love-” Chris began in a slur, as he tipped into you. You grunted against his weight, stumbling a bit and bumping into a couple that was right behind you. “So much better than… her…”

 Staying silent for a few seconds, your liquor-addled brain took a few extra moments to process his words. At first, you were flattered… you always loved it when your boyfriend complimented you and told you he loved you. But then, the alcohol flowing through your system seemed to melt away as your entire focus honed in on what he had just said. 

 “Chris… what do you mean by her?”

 He stared up at you with glassy eyes, bottom lip wavering just a little bit from the soju that was coursing in his veins. “W-Wha-”

 But you didn’t let him finish, as your heart started to race a little faster and you shook him off of you, disconnecting his arms from holding onto your waist. “What the fuck are you talking about?” 

 Your boyfriend flashed you a confused look, brows furrowing as he noticed the anger that was slowly overtaking your entire facial expression. “D-Doesn’t matter… you’re here now and-” He got cut off again by the sound of his phone ringing. It was loud as hell, and all of the music of the club suddenly drowned out as he pulled his phone from his jeans pocket. 

 Looking at it for a split second, he silenced it before shoving it back into his pocket. When he caught your focus again, your eyes were honed onto his phone. “Who was that?” You asked, folding your arms in defiance and watching his face for any hint of emotion. 

 Instead, he just offered you an easy smile, waving your concern away with a nonchalant, limp hand. “Nobody- was nobody.” And in that moment, you cursed him for being such a lightweight. For loving the taste of alcohol, but only being able to handle two drinks in before he was absolutely floored with drunkenness. 

 “Give me your phone, Chris.” You motioned to his pants pocket with your hand, eyes narrowing slowly as he leveled you with a serious glare. 

 “Why?” 

 “If you have nothing to hide then you’re fine with giving it to me for a second.” 

 “But I don’t see why-”

 “Give me the goddamn phone, Chris!” You screamed so loudly, that the people near you all turned to watch the scene unfolding. Maybe it was the vodka in you that caused the butterflies of anxiety to stir in your stomach, or maybe it was your worries and premonitions making you react so hastily. 

 He rubs me the wrong way… 

 The way Felix’s deep voice had said the words crossed your mind just then, underneath the bar’s flashing rainbow lights. You thought about your best friend again, when you impulsively reached forward and grabbed Chris’ phone before he could even realize what was happening. 

 And as soon as the screen brightened and you read the name under the missed call notification, you knew it was all over. 

 Everything around you, the loudness of the dance floor and Chris, and the people cramming in on all sides, suddenly melted into nothingness. Your breath honed down to a single point, your heart slowing down its beats as you slowly unlocked the phone. He had been using the same password since he was in high school. That much you knew. 

 One click of a button and the screen opened to his messages. To the contact at the top, bolded and covered in hearts. And as much as you didn’t want to know, as much as you wanted to be left in the dark, a tiny, quiet voice in the back of your mind prodded you on. 

 If you don’t find out now, you’ll never truly get clarity. 

 But the voice wasn’t yours. 

 It was… 

 Felix’s. 

 So you opened the thread. And you began to read. 

Today 

11:13 pm 

This bitch actually wants me to take her out on a date tonight- even though I’m fucking exhausted from working all week. 

 Well, at least you have me to look forward to afterward. :) 

 You mean I really get to fuck you tonight? 

 Of course! Why else would I give you the code to my apartment!? Just so that you could use it that one time?? Hell nahh~ ❤️

 You felt like you were going to throw up, and before you could read anything more, a hand was reaching forward and snatching the device away from your gasp. You peered up to see an enraged, red-faced Chris. 

 “Why the fuck would you do that?! I fucking told you no!” He roared, eyes alight with a certain kind of fire that scared you just the tiniest of bits. 

 Everything was scaring you at that moment. The entire relationship had been a lie. All those years, wasted. 

 Because perhaps, he had been cheating since day one. 

 Perhaps, he had been fucking someone else throughout it all. 

 Yeji. 

 Yeji. 

 Yeji. 

 Her name rang across the forefront of your mind like a sick kind of mantra. 

 Your best friend, your closest confidant. The girl you had been working with since you two turned sixteen. 

 But as it turns out, she had never felt the same way about you. 

 Chris continued to scream in your face, the alcohol taking over everything. And suddenly, you felt so light-headed. Like if you kept thinking about it, you’d pass out right there in the middle of the dance floor. 

 Heart shattering again and again into millions of tiny fragments, cutting through sinew and flesh and bone, you backed away from your boyfriend altogether. 

 Soon, you were getting lost in the crowd of people, Chris’ face disappearing in the midst of them all. And before you knew it, you found your back pressed against a wall, as you doubled over with the misery of it all, hyperventilating in panic. 

 Even still, you somehow found the sanity inside of you to pull out your phone. Through your bleary, tear-filled vision, you dialed the one person you knew at that moment who would always be there for you. 

 The line rang for a few moments, and you prayed to every God above that he’d answer. 

 Answer. 

 Please- 

 Fuck, please pick up-  

 “Hello?” His deep voice cut clear across your mind, clearing some of the cloudiness that had overtaken your entire system. 

 “N-Need you to pick me up- please.” You forced out, voice hiking up in despair with each word that you spoke. Your entire began to shake, as the reality of the situation crashed down on your shoulders. “N-Now.” 

 “Send me your location, I’ll be there in under twenty.” 

 He didn’t even question you, he just automatically knew you weren’t okay. 

 “T-Thanks.” You managed to say, wiping away the tears that were quickly falling down your cheeks. 

 “Wait for me- I’ll be there soon.” 

 And then the line clicked off and you were left alone again. 

 Alone in a room full of strangers. 

 And alone with the one person you thought you had known. Yet so suddenly, you didn’t know him at all. 

 Before you could do anything else, a strong hand was clamping down around your forearm and pulling you to the side. You were once again faced with a raging Chris, hands balled into fists and shoulders rising and falling rapidly with his anger. 

 “We need to talk!” He shouted over the booming club’s music that vibrated against the bottoms of your feet. Already, you were feeling so fucking uncomfortable under his gaze. 

 You yanked down at the sides of your tight-fitting mini dress. You wore the red one because it was Chris’ favorite. But all too suddenly, you were realizing how frivolous the entire night had been - the entire relationship, really. 

 “I have nothing to say to you,” You started, glaring down at the way that his hand clamped across your skin. “And get your hand off of me- you have no right to touch me anymore.” 

 You were pushing away from him and through the shuffling bodies in the throng of people before he could reply. You searched aimlessly for the exit, your feet taking you forward and out of the club as quickly as you possibly could. At that exact moment, you weren’t even thinking straight. You weren’t thinking about how Felix would find you if you left the premises of the club. Instead, you just kept walking. 

 Walking, and walking, and walking. 

 Almost like, if you walked far enough, you’d be able to escape all of the bullshit entirely. Like if you traveled a far enough distance, you’d be able to leave your broken, bleeding heart behind in that godforsaken, seedy club. You’d be able to forget all of the heartache and pain. 

  Instead, you’d be reborn again. Into a new woman, with no ailments and no shitty boyfriend to speak of. 

 You were so out of it, you didn’t realize you had begun to walk down the side of the highway until you were stopped by a pair of broad shoulders standing in your way. Staring upwards, your gaze caught the faint moonlight illuminated behind the figure looming just in front of you. 

 It was hard to see through all of the tears, but somehow, you found Chris’ face in the midst of it all. He was staring at you with an empty look on his face, an expression completely devoid of all feeling. 

 Like seeing you crying right there in front of him didn’t even phase him. 

 “Did you even fucking love me, during all of the time that we were together?” You asked, voice cracking at the end of your words. Your heart squeezed so tightly in your chest that it hurt to even breathe in. “Or was I just a means to an end?” 

 He just continued to look at you, eyes hooded and lips pressed together in a displeased line. Like you were a fly that was buzzing around his face amid summer, a complete pest but too fast to completely squash for good.

 “Or was I just a quick fuck for you? A body to keep your cock warm late at night, meanwhile you were out fucking her behind my back,” you said in a low voice, fists clenching at either of your sides at the reaction that he was having to everything. Because there was nothing. Nothing at all. Just emptiness, and no emotion or feeling or empathy whatsoever. And the worst part about it was that you couldn’t even utter her name. It hurt too much, to know that such a close friend had violated every part of your very being and spirit. “I guess I was just your trophy girlfriend- the pretty bitch that you liked to keep perched on your arm, tricking everyone into thinking that you were some perfect fucking boyfriend when really, you were getting your stupid, dick wet every single night-”

 After that, everything happened in a blur of movement and tears. 

 In a split second, the fiery burn was spreading across your cheek. 

 Traveling down, down, down, the column of your neck. 

 Pooling in your clavicle agonizingly. 

 Momentarily, all of your tears stopped. 

 Your heart felt like it was about to explode inside your chest - ribs poking the air right out of your lungs as you gaped up at Chris in utter disbelief. 

 “Don’t try to insinuate that I did shit behind your back, you stupid bitch. I only-”

 Then his hand was raising again, and you caught the look of fiery, unbidden fury deeply set within his dark eyes. 

 Just as he was about to strike again, he was stopped mid-air. 

 Your focus shifted off of the ass and onto… him. 

 In all of his messy, blonde tresses and dark, chocolate brown eyes with the beautifully, sun-kissed skin. 

 He held Chris’ arm in a vice-like grip, squeezing and squeezing until the tendons popped, causing your ex-boyfriend to yelp out in pain as he tried to rip out of Felix’s hold. 

 “If you ever try to land a single finger on her again, I swear I won’t fucking hold back,” Felix said, voice so low it was hard to register over the rush of the highway at your side. Then he was pushing Chris off, making him stumble backward on the sidewalk like the fool that he was. “Harm one hair on her head and I’ll fuck you over so much- you’ll be dead by the time my hands are off of your neck.” 

 Then Felix was bending down, eyes meeting yours for a fleeting second as he scooped your entire shaking form up into his strong arms. Holding you close to his body, you felt the comforting warmth radiate off of him and you were instantly soothed. 

 Melting into his grasp, the sobs wracked through your form, as you squeezed your eyes shut, trying to will the last twenty minutes out of your mind - your memory entirely. 

 As your limbs shook in his arms, he trudged forward, towards an unknown point. Most likely to his car, but in that moment, you couldn’t give a damn. You felt his heart beating wildly, as you pressed your ear against his chest. 

 “It’s okay, angel… I’m here now,” he whispered in a low, gravelly voice. Like he was barely holding onto his restraint - his sanity. “Just hold onto me, yeah? I’m not gonna let anything happen to you ever again- he’s never going to talk to you or touch you, ever again,” you felt his lips ghost over the crown of your head, as he pressed a gentle kiss there. “So don’t worry your pretty little head about it, okay? As long as I got you, as long as you’re mine, no one will be able to hurt you ever again.” 

 The corners of your blurry vision darkened after that, as you succumbed to the overwhelming feelings of it all. 

 And the last thing you remembered feeling, just as you slipped into the bleakness and let the fuzziness take over everything, was the feeling of him - so close to you, and holding you so tightly and carefully and securely against him. 

 Like he always had, since the first day you had met him - he was there for you when you needed him most.

To be continued...

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[lonelywretchjervistetch]

My DC Cinematic Universe: Superman (Epilogue)

Epilogue: My Adventures with Superman

...Well, holy shit. Just when I was getting worried that nobody would get Superman, along comes one of the best comic-book related products we've seen in years, which delivers me so much of the stuff I wanted in a cinematic version of Superman...and is almost perfect. Yeah, it's definitely not perfect, but goddamn if this isn't one of my ideal versions of Superman.

Y'know, I've considered doing sort of a sum-up of the different major adaptations of the Superman mythos by bringing together all the points made in my essays, but I felt it was too much. For this, however, I think that makes sense. And yes, I'm doing this after only 4 episodes have aired, and yes, I realize that what just happened in the most recent episode is fucking insane and something I desperately want in a Superman story...but I'll at least cover my personal approach, since this show's kinda hot right now. And rarely do I have the chance to jump on a burgeoning fandom, so FUCK IT!

If you'd like to see my previous and insane essays on my preferred version of the Man of Steel, here's the link! Always. Be. Plugging. But if you'd rather hear my opinion of My Adventures with Superman, then check out the section after the jump. But just know that I like it, with a couple of caveats that you've probably already heard about this show.

Clark Kent: Abnormal Superman

Um...did somebody read my essays before I even thought about them, because this is pretty goddamn close to my ideal Clark Kent. He's a big ol' dork with a heart of god who wants to do the right thing, but is also nowhere near perfect in his everyday life and methods. He's a teensy bit clumsy, but still very well-put together. He wants to help when and how he can, and is willing to go along with shenanigans to do so. He has an actual personality, and most importantly, he feels human.

Yeah, this is a dude from Kansas who also happens to be an alien. And good goddamn, is scaling down his powers and knowledge of his past a great idea. Smallville, of course, did this, but that version of Clark was often too serious and rough around the edges. And maybe most importantly, Tom Welling's Clark never seemed like an outcast. I mean, the dude was handsome as all fuck, and built like a linebacker. And yet, I'm supposed to buy that the guy is a loser and outcast? Yeah, no, not buying it. But this Clark? Yeah, the guy's a massive dork. Handsome and built like a fucking freight train, yeah, but still a dork. And maybe most importantly...I don't buy this dude as Superman.

Yeah. Really. I mean, dude is OBVIOUSLY Superman, because he's built like a tank and super nice, but I get not fully seeing this guy as Superman. Somehow, FUCKING SOMEHOW, they pull this off better than literally any other version I've seen since the Christopher Reeves version. And yeah, that's insanely high praise, because Reeves has some of the best dichotomous acting I've ever seen. But this Superman and this Clark both seem like the same person and separate people at the same time somehow. It's an impressive feat that I can barely explain.

And yet...they're still definitely the same person. Any sane person would be able to figure it out eventually, with enough personal interaction. It's one of the reasons why the glasses joke exists, because it really shouldn't make much sense. But in this series, the glasses actually change the shape of his pace, and slight changes in his posture and voice (by the pretty great Jack Quaid) actually do work as a subtle mask for the character. But will that last forever? Well...more on that later.

I also said this before, but I love the fact that we're learning about Clark and his powers as he's learning about himself. This series is obviously anime-inspired, and it really leans into the shonen angle thematically and visually. When the first art for this show came out, I was intrigued but cautious. Now, though, I'm into it. We'll see how the more anime-esque electrical powers work out, but it actually seems like a reference to the sporadically used bioelectric field manipulation ability that Superman has in the comics. Yeah, he has a field of bioelectricity around his body that provides him (and his costume) with invulnerability, and also occasionally gives him plot-convenience powers. Don't ask questions, OK? It's a comic book thing.

Speaking of that, though, the creators are definitely playing fast and loose with the Superman mythos, and I'm interested to see exactly how that plays out as the series continues. I'm a little cautious for reasons to be addressed later, but I'm still quite interested. So, now that we've covered Superman, whom I think is fantastic in his characterization...let's get to the character who I think is excellently represented in this series.

Lois Lane: Intrepid (Intern) Reporter

Jesus Christ, this is a great Lois. There are a lot of ways you can do a good Lois, and there are a number of great Loises, but MAWS' Lois ranks extremely high on that list. Dogged to the point of recklessness, determined to get the truth at all costs, and desperate to be a great reporter, she has the stuff that makes any great Lois. But what really puts her over the edge for me is her characterization. Alice Lee does a fantastic job as Lois' voice, and gives her a mix of naivete, determination, and...oddly, hope. I dunno, there's something about Lee's portrayal that really works for me.

And a lot of people have pointed out two things. One, she's basically Lux from The Owl House. Yeah. And? Fucking and? Luz is a fantastic character in her own right, and very Lois Lane-esque. Personally, I think that's a great and worthy comparison for any version of Luz. Secondly, she's a tomboy. And I think most people on Tumblr are fine with that, but I also see some criticism for that choice. And for those who don't like that...fuck off a little bit. Not a lot, but a little bit. There's nothing wrong with a slightly more tomboyish Lois, and I actually adore a Lois who isn't a damsel in distress all the time. She literally fights some of the bad guys in this series, and we're only four episodes in! Seriously, I love that. And she is occasionally in distress, but she gets into that shit herself, which is exactly what Lois Lane is supposed to do. Look, I love this Lois. Oh, and another thing!

Is Lois Korean? Holy shit, that's fantastic! I said in my second essay that Lois is one of those characters who isn't racially bound in any way. There, I suggested that she could be played by a Latina, which has been hinted at before in some comics. But honestly, this is a great choice! And I only say Korean because, in the most recent episode, she appears to be wearing the top half of a hanbok, which is a traditionally Korean dress. And yeah, I'm fully here for it. Don't know if she's mixed or not (we'll probably see Sam Lane at a later date), but this is great all on its own.

And then, there's the other thing: Lois' position as Superman's Inevitable Love Interest. The ILE is, of course, a tradition in all things superhero comic, and Lois is arguably the first and most famous of all ILEs. Like Thanos before her, she is truly inevitable, and that seems to be at the center of this series. Oh, and at this point...sort of SPOILERS AHEAD??? I mean, come on, this was obviously gonna happen.

By the end of episode 4, these two are clearly romantically interested in each other. Hell, by the end of episode 1, these two are interested in each other. And can I just say that's they're hands fucking down the most adorable Clark and Lois I've ever fucking seen? I mean it, they're the best version of this couple in live-action media, and I can actually see them becoming the comic book versions of that couple.

As a quick compare and contrast of the most notable versions:

Reeves and Kidder were great, but the movies never actually committed in having them be a couple. They actively made sure it wouldn't happen a couple of times, to much irritation, and their relationship never truly blossomed, which was based on the comics at the time.

Fuck Dean Cain...but Cain and Hatcher were pretty good as a couple, pre-and-post-marriage. Which, again, was a part of comics at the time, so it makes sense. Even then, I wouldn't call them particularly cute, just more of a relatively normal couple.

Don't get me wrong, I love Daly and Durance's animated versions of the two...but they never actually became a couple until the very end of Superman: The Animated Series. And we only saw them as Lois and Superman, not Lois and Clark. So, sadly, they don't rank.

Welling and Durance were...off-and-on. Funnily enough, their appearance as this version of the couple in the Arrowverse crossovers was probably better than any other appearance they had, and their appearances in the 10th season were genuinely quite nice. High up there as the best version, and one of my favorites.

Hoechlin and Tulloch are, in my opinion, the best married version of the characters. They honestly nail it, and their chemistry is pretty much perfect. Their versions of the characters still rank pretty high as some of the best, and they're even better as a couple.

Routh and Bosworth...moving on...

Cavill and Adams...well...I mean...they have some chemistry, and...they've definitely had sex. Um. Yeah. That's it. Whoooooo.

O'Connell and Romjin are a little-remembered animated version of the two, and not the only animated version of the two, either. But honestly, they're really good in The Death of Superman and Reign of the Supermen, and were my favorite animated version of them as a couple...prior to MAWS.

And OK, sure, we've barely seen these two as a couple at this point, but I really like them. They're adorable, they're adorkable, they're supportive of each other, and their chemistry is basically immediate. They're just really cute and fun to watch, and I can't wait to see them progress. Especially because...

OK, I can't stress this enough, but skip the next GIF if you don't want spoilers, and scroll down until you get to Jimmy Olsen. Please. This is a biggie. OK? Got it? Read at your own peril.

HOLY FUCKING SHIT ARE YOU SERIOUS THEY ACTUALLY DID IT

If you've read my Superman essays, you know that I want movie Lois Lane to have found out Clark is Superman on her own, and before the movie starts. And holy shit, they actually did it in MAWS! FUCK YES! Lois is smart and sharp, so she should pick up on the fact that Clark is Superman! I love that they did this, even if her way of finding out was somewhat by accident. She still put the clues together on her own, so I'm satisfied with this ending! And I'm pretty sure they're not going to reverse this! If they do, I'd be pissed off, but I don't think they will. Just...HELL YEAH, BABEEEEEEEEEE

OK...I think the spoiler-free have scrolled past this by know, so...let's move on with the essay, shall we?

Supporting Cast: Jimmy and the Rest

OK, let's talk Jimmy Olsen (played by Ishmael Sahid). Honestly, I love the fact that he's a conspiracy nut with his own YouTube channel, and that he's literal bunkmates with Clark in this series. This is also pretty close to my perfect version of Jimmy Olsen, not gonna lie. His streaming name is even Flamebird, a deepcut comics reference that shows the creators not only know their stuff, but also actively care about Superman comics and history. That's one of the things that one me over in the first episode, for the record. But more on that later.

Jimmy is the third wheel, but one who's usually welcome. We'll see the fallout of the Lois-Clark romance soon, I'm sure, but Jimmy's role has been pretty much perfect. However, I would be remiss if I didn't mention that a black Jimmy Olsen, while welcomed by me...is a little weird when you look at the legion of ginger characters in media that have been replaced by black characters in adaptations. While, again, I don't think Jimmy is racially bound to being ginger, it is a fairly iconic part of his identity. And...yeah, a lot of ginger characters have been translated into black people in recent years, and that's...really weird, not gonna lie. Makes me think even more about my Legion of Super-Heroes essay, honestly. Still, solid-ass Jimmy, and I can't wait for more.

I actually adore Perry White (voiced by Darrell Brown) in this series, and his grumpy boss persona is...well, quintessential Perry White. I'd actually say this is a perfect version of the character, although that's not as difficult to nail as some other versions. Looking forward to seeing more of Perry's life as he supports our bumbling interns.

I was tickled pink to see Cat Grant (Melanie Minichino), Steve Lombard (Vincent Tong), and a genderbent Ronnie Troupe (Kenna Ramsey) in this show, because it once again signals to me that the show creators really care about Superman mythos. And honestly, these guys were transplanted essentially unchanged from the comics, as far as we can see so far. This may change in the future, but I'm very excited to see the rivalry between our three and these reports build and develop during the series. Great job with these guys.

The Kents only make an appearance in one episode thus far, but I think they're pretty good! We see them in the past and in the present, and they're a couple of farmers who love their son. They're also some of the youngest versions of the characters we've seen in adaptations, save for Smallville, and it works well! They also make it apparent that these are Clark's parents, even in the short time we see them. Again, good job so far, and I want to see more!

So, with all of that, I adore this series, and it's perfect! Right? Right?

The Villains: Literal and Figurative Cons

If you've heard anything about this series from Superman fans, then you've probably heard that the villains are...not amazing so far. And that's mostly because the villains are where this series takes the most liberties, while also downsizing most of them pretty severely. I'll go through them briefly here, but just know that the changes made so far are...not my favorite. And if you've read my essays, you know my opinion on villains in superhero media: you gotta nail them.

So, let's start with Livewire, AKA Leslie Willis (voiced by Zehra Fazal). I really love this character (and actually positioned her as a major villain in the second Superman movie of my cinematic universe), so I'm quite invested in Livewire. And this version is a tech-powered villain who kicks off the conflict for the first part of the series. She's a completely different version of the character...and she works? Kinda? Look, as the first villain to face Superman, she's fine, but she's barely Livewire. The end of the second episode hints that she may become more like the original down the line, but she's missing that sass of the original. And yeah, she works without that, but it doesn't feel like Livewire to me. That's nitpicking, though, because we have a much worse set of adaptations to cover.

Intergang is so much of a non-entity in this show, they have no GIFS on Tumblr. Understand, this community has made GIFs of every other character except these guys. In total, they are Silver Banshee AKA Siobhan MacDougal (played by Catherine Taber), Mist AKA Kyle Nimbus (played by Lucas Grabeel), and Rough House AKA Albert (played by Vincent Tong). And they've been changed from:

A cursed Scottish-Irish woman, empowered by magic and a major threat to the Man of Steel, having nearly killed him multiple times...and is currently dating Jimmy Olsen, which I kinda love?

A scientist who invented a process to turn himself into gaseous form, and used his powers to fight the hero Starman; this rivalry was passed on to the next generation, on the side of both hero and villain.

And the clone of a gangster endowed with super-strength, serving beneath Boss Moxie of Intergang, and the forces of the dark world of Apokolips above him.

...into a group of loser who got technology they couldn't handle. Yeah, it's a major downgrade, and two of those guys weren't even that notable in the first place. Siobhan gets completely fucking shafted here, and I think it's a genuine failure of this series. Harsh, I know, but seeing Silver Banshee get fucked over that hard really sucked for me.

Oh, and yeah, Intergang was a major villainous group for the Superman film in my cinematic universe, so removing their Apokoliptian ties...bums me the fuck out, too. Also, it looks like Flash villain Heat Wave is an upcoming member, which is...weird as fuck, honestly. We'll see how this pans out, but I'm not terribly enthusiastic about it.

And then there's Anthony Ivo (played by Jake Green), who's been repurposed into a tech bro entrepeneur in the vein of Elon Musk, in charge of AmazoTech, which is obviously a reference to the comic book version. And this was an...interesting set of choices, honestly. Some spoilers here, but Ivo's version of AMAZO is an armor that drains the power of Superman and redirects it against him. And yes, that makes Ivo also this universe's version of...Parasite. ANOTHER villain that I put in the second movie of my cinematic universe, and one of my absolute favorite Superman villains.

I don't hate the reinvention, but that's only because of what happens to Ivo at the end of the episode. I won't spoil it here, but he definitely turns into a more proper version of the character, so we'll see what happens there. As for his assistant, Alex (played by...somebody), well, he's interesting, isn't he? At first, I thought he was Alex Allston, one of the Parasite twins from the 2000s. But a number of people seem to think he might be another familiar red-headed Superman villain named Alexander, if you know what I mean. Let's just say, there's a possibility that he'll steal forty cakes at some point. And that's terrible.

And finally, there's...wait, is that Deathstroke AKA Slade WIlson (played by Chris Parnell)? Why is he young...and hot? Why is Slade young and hot? And two-eyed? I mean, yeah, sure, that's not the worst thing in the world, but...goddamn, that's some whiplash. Interestingly, he appears to be affiliated with Task Force X, which is name dropped in episode 2. Plus, Amanda Waller is clearly in the background, so a much wider plan is in play. And yeah, while it's weird to see young hot Deathstroke, I'll give it a chance.

Other villains have been hinted at, and allegedly radically reinvented, such as Mr. Mxyzptlk and Brainiac, but we've yet to see what will become of them. Still, this is a divisive start. As long as we get some actual supernatural threats, and not just people in armor, I'll be happy. Time will tell.

Story: Just Getting Started

At this point, it's pretty much impossible to judge the story of this series, since we've only just started. But, with the technology obtained by Livewire from a mysterious source, and then leaked into the criminal underworld, we at least have enough threats to supply tension throughout this first portion of the series. The relationship of our trio is progressing nicely, with Jimmy realizing his third-wheel status, and with the Lois and Clark relationship moving along interestingly and unexpectedly.

There's also a number of hanging plots that look promising, including Clark discovering his powers and origins; Task Force X and Deathstroke, as well as their interest in Superman; the missing Parasite technology after Ivo's fall; the rivalry between the interns and their reporter rivals; and even Lois' relationship with her father (who...might be the guy standing next to Waller in Task Force X? No clue, that's just a guess). So, we have some stuff to look forward to! And maybe, just maybe, the villains will also steadily improve. I think Silver Banshee's a lost cause at this point, but I have hope for Livewire and Parasite, at least. But again, time will tell.

I also can't wait to see what the creators have up their sleeves. They're obviously ans of Superman and his mythos. I didn't even mention what won me over on this show in the first place! Other than Clark and Lois themselves, of course. In the first episode, Lois introduces Jimmy and Clark to her information gatherers: the Newskid Legion. And for those of you who don't know, that's a reference to the Golden Age of Comics, and a group of street-wise kids that would become supporting characters of Superman's during the '90s (through the trendy magic of cloning)! The kids have an adaptation in this series, and that attention to lore alone made me an instant fan of this show. Sounds like nothing, I know, but it meant a hell of a lot to a Superfan like me. Now GIVE ME MY EVERYMAN BIBBO BIBBOWSKI!

Conclusion: A Hopeful Tomorrow

I'm...scared about Gunn's Superman film. I won't write a whole essay about it, but it sounds ambitious to the point of being bloated. A lot of recent casting news makes me feel like this is more of a set-up to the wider DCU, as less of a Superman film in and of itself. Plus, with rumors that Luthor is being cast, and no sign of a villain announcement yet...I dunno. It has me worried. So thank God for My Adventures with Superman.

This series is a blessing so far. Sure, it could blow for the rest of the season, but call me hopeful. I think this show is fantastic so far, and I'm really thinking it'll stick the landing with the first season. Alongside that, honestly, is the fact that it's trying something new for any Superman adaptation, and there's a bravery in that. I don't know if it'll go down as my preferred Superman adaptation (Superman: The Animated Series is a hard one to beat for me), but it's got a good start. And a brave series that inspires hope in the face of fear and impossible odds? Man, that's what Superman is all about.

And now that that's said and done (for now, anyway)...

I believe I have another essay series to finally finish.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Part I: Why I Love Superman

Part II: On Lois Lane

Part III: The Kents

Part IV: The 'Rents

Part V: The...Frendts?

Part VI: Lex Luthor

Part VII: The Real Villains

Part VIII: Superman's Rogues Gallery

Part IX: The Story - Act One

Part X: The Story (Acts Two and Three)

Part XI: The Story - Climax

Part XII: Epilogue (Part One)

Part XIII: Epilogue (Part Two)

[jabberwockprince]

I'm cooking r1999 OC stuff so i need to ramble about it hehehoho rubs my evil hands together

i had to rewrite this because i lost it but i also sound like a madman so i dont expect absolutely anyone to understand my train of thought <3

I OC-fied Tartaglia a few days ago but I just got around to thinking about his whole character and lore, and it hit me that I can just put his ass in Apeiron <3 I'd like to have an OC in each faction but we'll see how much my attention span lasts

BUT! THIS MF.

I want him to be from Apeiron specifically because the idea of an integer or equally valid number within the island acting like the most fucking feral irrational number is so funny to me. a complete betrayal of the scriptures but that somehow ends up making sense, so you cannot be mad because He Still Operates Within What Was Expected. a guy whose entire existence is just ANNOYING AND IRRITATING AND INSUFFERABLE. perhaps he's a fraction, I'm not sure yet. I'm not looking forward to researching numbers to find one that suits him thematically and shit

most likely considered a genius in an unconventional way, not similar at all to 37. more like still following the theme of opposing/overstepping while working within the guidelines. so maybe something to contrast her

37's talent for numbers is explained as an innate ability to see the numbers in everyone and see their true essence, which causes her to be isolated from the physical world and the people of her own community because she does not experience nor care about reality the same way others do. its impossible to try and understand her, because her insight is so vastly unique, but she can still provide solid proof to support her discoveries with no problem at all, as seen when she confirmed Vertin's number is 0. she cares about the scriptures and numbers, and yet she likes taking the chance to discover one's number away from others just because she can be the first one to do it

so im thinking. Aianteia could be the opposite. he cannot see the numbers in people like her, but their true Forms. the perfect geometrical shapes that can only exist in the abstract world of Forms, impossible to achieve beyond a close approximation. and because he essentially sees the "beauty" in people, he cares for the community, he is friendly and often befriends others rather easily. but he can't fucking explain why he sees the world Like That. nor provide any proof as to why someone is This Form or That Form. which renders him totally useless within Apeiron, because of the importance of proof. he cares about people figuring out their number, to discover themselves and whatnot--he cares so much that he will gladly show you which Form you're meant to be, the way the universe intended it

and THIS is when the themes of battle and war and carnage come into play. when it comes to irrational numbers or the impure, Aianteia connects their "floating points" and knows exactly what to do to purify them. to make their bodies as pure as their Forms. im saying that he basically sees fancy ass geometrical shapes and lines that let him know where to start cutting and slashing and killing. this is something he does out of genuine love and care, so that those who cant even DREAM of studying the scripture can get a fair chance at discovering their number, as irrational as it may be. all they have to do is survive

im thinking. that his scars are self-inflicted because he attempted to do the exact same thing to himself. and he survived. and he figured out his number this way. he cannot explain why or how or give proof as to why he knows THIS is his number (in a way, similar to how 37 knew from birth that THIS was her number) but i like to think that 77 took a good look at him and went "hes right." and everyone had to just. accept that this guy, most likely a very young teenager, found out his number THROUGH THE "WRONG" WAY

WHICH. IN TURN. FALLS WITHIN WHAT 37 INSISTS DURING CHAPTER 05--numbers are the eternal truth because no matter when or where or how you prove something, you and the person at the other side of the planet will come up with the same result. Aianteia has an entirely different approach that led to the same conclusion as 77's mother. once again, the issue is that this is something that cannot be corrected nor given proof. relating to the gnosis of an arcanist, and how arcanum is not a viable method of study because it cannot be verified by a third party. my brain is making connections at the speed of SOUND. anyway. the issue is that he's RIGHT. which would make him a fraction, potentially, since 37 describes them like this

Integers are the living examples of virtues. Fractions can be understood through specific means. Irrational numbers are the free spirits, while imaginary numbers are the existence which doesn’t belong to this dimension of the number axis

so he can be understood through specific means, but no one can figure out WHICH means exactly

I do think that he starts out genuinely wanting to help people achieve their purest self, and somewhere down in the middle of the road he started to have a little too much fun with the idea of being the hand that brings Forms to the world of Matters. and then as he spends more and more time outside of Apeiron, it becomes a dog eat dog mentality, whoever survives gets to be their truest, purest Form -> the strongest get to impose their ideals onto the rest. Aianteia SAYS that he's doing this to uphold the scriptures and defend them in the outside world, and this is partially true as a childish leftover desire from his initial journey. but really, its all about getting the shit beaten out of him and beating the shit out of others now to see who earns the right to live

if the Storm has been going on for 7 years, it started when he was 19, so im thinking he was around 14-15 when he left Apeiron during one of those expeditions. and they let him go specifically because pretty much everyone wanted him gone

from what I remember, both Manus and the Foundation existed BEFORE the Storm? so im willing to say that Aianteia joined Manus before the first Storm ever. but i also dont want to think too hard on time logistics because we dont have the full timeline of the game yet

[decepti-thots]

do you have any thoughts on autocracy the miniseries?

Autocracy is kind of a fascinating blip to me. One thing I think gets overlooked in its existence is how it's an early attempt to do "digital first" in the 2010s: once upon a time, that wasn't just novel, it was a possible future for comics. (In its way, it half resembles the format Roberts originally pitched a bunch of his ideas in!)

It's a piece of canon that accidentally has interesting implications for things that come later. I wrote some thoughts on its specific, accidental influence on phase two Rodimus here (and why I love that element). On its own merits, it's utterly sterile, IMO: uninteresting thematically, terrible visually, no interest in the surrounding canon (bc it's basically an attempt to overwrite IDW canon to do a bland G1-inspired story that pointedly ignores all interesting work IDW did up to that point), and yet despite all that its underlying ideas echo inexorably. Its refusal to engage with what makes IDW1 interesting accidentally helps make IDW1 extra interesting. It is not a good comic. It has awful dialogue, terrible visual storytelling, no interest in making something once derided into fodder for good comics like both really early phase two titles. Frankly, it sucks absolute ass. The rest of the trilogy (including Autocracy, Monstrosity and Primacy) is even worse. But. But! Autocracy's specific unspoken influence on Rodimus in later stuff is undeniable; Roberts called out its influence in at least one panel when asked about Rodimus' relationship to bad coping mechanisms in early MTMTE. Its incongruence is somehow weirdly compelling, honestly. When you choose to deliberately read against the grain, it becomes interesting again. The version of IDW canon where Rodimus and Megatron met this way and Megatron fucked it for these specific reasons is, genuinely, fascinating.

Autocracy sucks. But it is inextricable from the IDW stuff that is good in a way that is not just canon based but formally inextricable from later ideas of characters like Rodimus, and for that reason alone I find it VERY interesting.

[jgyapologism]

predictions for ep 3 based on ep1&2 and previews:

+ just some general hunches and some arcs I can see happening as a storyteller myself. I have a week in between episodes and some time to kill ... so why the hell not put on my analysis goggles?

First and foremost, the Mew/Top/Boston fuckery (+ some Nick theories):

Based on Boston's actions and reputation as someone who sleeps around, I think Mew may have guessed right away how Top and Boston actually know each other. It's not hard to guess. This could be another reason why Mew is making Top work so hard for it.

Based on previews for Ep 3, there are so many possibilities on how it will pan out, but I think Top and Boston will definitely end up fucking. How, you ask? Why would Top agree to sleep with Boston after rejecting him so many times? Welllll ... we ALSO see in the preview 1) Boston trying to make Top jealous of RayMew and 2) Nick finding the photobooth photos of TopBoston. I don't think #1 has quite as much a chance of working as the preview makes us think. I think Top is confident enough that Mew likes him, and that Ray's feelings are unrequited. BUT, Boston holding something over Top to get him to sleep with him? 1000% plausible and would make much more sense given their dynamic - and the uncomfortable way in which Top simply ... didn't fight when Boston assaulted him in the shower (yes, I'm calling it assault. There was no consent). I think Top already knows that Boston has some leverage in their relationship. (Or, there's simply trauma for Top we haven't been introduced to yet, which is also completely plausible.)

But do I think Boston will actually have those photos in his possession by the end of the episode? Hell to the no. I think Nick will definitely swipe them for himself, as collateral to keep Boston around (in addition to the sex tape, which we have yet to see). We haven't seen Nick interact with ANY of the other characters, except for Sand, but that doesn't mean he isn't connected to other characters. I would not be surprised if Nick and Mew know each other somehow, or at the very least, he knows that Top is pursuing Mew and that Boston is friends with Mew. This is the queer community after all, and Top is one of the "Top Tier" which means everyone knows him, and word will have spread that he's pursuing someone named Mew. And just because we haven't seen Nick at the bar, doesn't mean he doesn't go.

I would not be surprised if Nick is the one to spill the tea about TopBoston to Mew (also just made myself laugh because - you know, spill the tea + Boston = Boston tea party. I can't with myself sometimes ya'll).

I think it would be soooo interesting for Boston to have his own dirty games used against him, by someone as seemingly innocent as Nick. Boston thinks he has the control in their relationship because of how blatantly Nick is into him, but Nick isn't above using manipulation and blackmail either.

(Also, can we just appreciate that Boston labeled the photos as "Hot Night" like who even is this guy)

BUT let's go back to TopBoston fucking in the car, yeah? Let's just assume this is a normal parking lot or side street. A parking lot/side street is a public space, and ANYONE can walk by and see what they're doing, so why have sex in a car of all places if you're not trying to get caught? Well, Top may not want to get caught, but could be under the influence enough, jealous enough, or under Boston's thumb just enough to agree to it. I think Boston definitely wants them to get caught. There really is only one scenario I see playing out, but it could play out in many ways. This is where Nick comes in.

As suggested in the preview for ep 3, Nick walks by and sees SOMETHING. The preview suggests it might be SandRay, but that wouldn't make sense thematically. Plus, the lighting doesn't match. But you know what scene it DOES match?

Also, it was in the OG trailer too that Nick catches TopBoston together, which I think means he'll have a huge role to play. I have a hunch he might actually see TopBoston fucking and videotape it to use as further blackmail against Boston. Boy's got a collection at this point.

Another possibility is that Mew sees it all for himself and continues to act beautifully oblivious to the fuckery happening behind his back while preparing some sort of revenge (or absolutely lose his shit and beat Boston like shown in the OG trailer). And also, based on ep 2 when he goes to grab them both from the showers, I have the suspicion he had the motive to catch them - which he doesn't, but he certainly notices Boston's shorts on the floor. I wouldn't be surprised if he notices them sneaking off alone and decides to catch them in the act.

Maybe both or neither of these HCs are going to happen. Who knows! Moral of the story: SOMEONE is going to see TopBoston fucking and the consequences are going to be juicy.

Man, I love that this show has given me my analysis goggles back. Thank u @ jojo and team.

[coraniaid]

For the fic ask game, 5, 10, 20 please!

Fanfiction author ask game

5) The fic you’re most proud of writing?

I think the answer has to be Coexist, my season 3 rewrite.

It was the first fic I started writing in the Buffy fandom; it's the (completed) fic that took me the longest to finish [the first chapter was posted in February 2021, but I'd been planning it and drafting it for a while before then, and the last chapter wasn't posted until April 2023]; it's (by some distance) the longest single fic I've written [it's a bit over a quarter of a million words long].

And, now that I've had some time to think about it, I think it holds up pretty well? There are certainly a few sections I'd be tempted to rewrite slightly, and probably some bits which I should have just edited away, and (because I hadn't quite planned things out in as much detail as I thought I had) there's a few moments where the wider timeline doesn't quite work [secondary characters will say things that are meant to be cryptic references to events that I later decided hadn't happened yet], but overall I think I did a pretty good job capturing the story I'd been daydreaming about for a while. I'm still really pleased with the chapters The Price, Reactions and Undertow in particular, and I think the overall story is surprisingly coherent, both structurally and thematically, for something I spent more than two years writing.

10) Best/funniest comment you’ve ever gotten on a fic?

It still kind of amazes me whenever I get ... well, any comments at all, really, but especially comments that take the story I've written seriously as something worth engaging with and analyzing? I'm especially grateful to anybody whose leaves detailed comments or reviews on each chapter as they go, or who leave additional comments to point out things they noticed or enjoyed on a reread (not naming any names but you know who you are). Not to be sappy, but those are the types of comments that I go back and reread when I'm struggling with writing something new and trying to motivate myself to finish a difficult section.

Funniest comments, in hindsight, are the reactions to ... well, there is a certain chapter about a third of the way into Coexist where a Thing happens. I remember being really nervous about posting that one, and I still feel a little guilty if anyone really did stop reading at that point, but looking back the reactions (which included repeated variants on things like "damn" and "what the fuck?" and "I'm so angry right now" and "... ow :(" and "this is some real game of thrones shit") are exactly what I was going for.

20) Hardest character to write/get the characterization correct for?

I think Jenny Calendar is basically impossible to write 'correctly' because she just doesn't have a consistent characterisation in canon (is she a capable practicing technopagan who has a perspective on the supernatural that challenges Giles' own assumptions, or is she Giles' cool teacher girlfriend who helps with research in the library but is hurt and betrayed when the magical side of Giles' past endagers her safety, or is she a walking racist stereotype who [sort-of, somehow] betrayed Giles and Buffy [in ways that never quite make sense] and who has the bad luck to be written by a group of writers who ... well, let's just say that Angel doesn't ever attribute his soul to a Romani curse).

I don't think you can really reconcile those three contrasting versions of the character -- at least not in a way that I personally find satisfying -- so you just have to pick one to be the 'real' version and gloss over the other stuff as best you can. (And I think my summary above makes it clear which version of Jenny Calendar I like.)

[irrealisms]

no apple but a heart liner notes

fic here if you haven't read it!

i had the idea of vitalasubz funerary cannibalism pretty immediately after seeing "cannibalism" on the prompt list. it's a good concept. but i wasn't sure if i could get it to the minimum word count (it ended up juuuuust scraping by) so i decided to write the time loop fic first and then do the cannibalism as a bonus if i felt up for it

and then one of my friends (unrelatedly! without knowing about this!) started talking about eclipse fed cannibalism on discord, and i was like Man....i should write eclipse federation cannibalism....unfortunately i only really have enough ideas for One Scene of it.....and they were like write one scene then! and i went You Know What. youre right. and wrote this in one sitting

for research for this fic i read all of @erstwhilesparrow's mcyt cannibalism fics in a row. check those out if you haven't already: double life desertduo(&/)boat boys, limlife mean gills, 3rd life desertduo, new life owen(&/)scott

i knew basically as soon as i had the idea that i wanted to do stuff with the despawn timer. how much can you eat in 5 minutes, when you're grieving and dissociating and in shock, your action spurred on only by the knowledge that whatever you don't eat will disappear forever? that this is the only way to preserve anything at all of the one you love?

in contrast i did not know until literally the day of writing it that i was gonna do something with hearts-as-hearts. it was a good idea, though.

did you know that after subz dies, vitalasy stands without moving or speaking for 50 seconds, turns slightly, and then continues standing there without doing anything or speaking for another 13 seconds. yeah. fun little canon moment. it's also 63 seconds off the 5-minute despawn timer!

the title is from quattrocento by margaret atwood, which is a great poem. idk how well it actually works for this piece thematically, it works okay i think but i'm not doing a ton with serpent imagery here (even though i could! subz and eclipse are in fact totally doing various mythological snake imageries!) or with garden-of-eden stuff? but the imagery always stuck with me when writing cannibalism stuff and i hadn't gotten to use it for a title yet and figured this was my chance

cannibalism as devotion.... cannibalism as memorial...... mm. good stuff. i should have made a way to make this Eucharistic somehow, cannibalism-as-worship doesn't show up here as much but it would've slapped.

something that didn't make it into the fic but that i did have some thoughts about is vitalasy's feelings wrt zam + subz after this. i think he's glad, on some level, that he got to eat subz and zam didn't, but also he feels kind of guilty for feeling glad, but also he's arguing to himself that he shouldn't have to feel guilty, it's not like he stopped zam from being there, zam wasn't there bc zam isn't/wasn't on their team.

other stuff that is even less fic-relevant but that i've been thinking about is that you could do a lot with "if you kill someone you get their heart" + the various meanings cannibalism can have. cannibalism as domination of an opponent. cannibalism as possession. cannibalism as respecting someone's sacrifice. killing someone and then handing them their own heart to eat, when you kill someone and give them back the heart. yeah. fun possibilities!

shoutout to ihob. nothing much to say here other than i'm glad i somehow included ihob in the vitalasubz cannibalism fic. i love ihob. i love that bacon only eats pork chops even though they're worse than golden carrots! he's on three hearts anyway, what's the added saturation gonna do! i love the dumb fucking three-way contract for its ownership. i love. ihob.

fun fact: the only other fic on ao3 tagged with subz's suicide stream is ALSO a vitalasubz funerary cannibalism fic. i genuinely did not know this until after posting. what can i say, it's a good concept.

[rawliverandgoronspice]

proooobably need to stop pulling all-nighters to work on the animatic, but! I have estimated the whole thing by faking scenes I haven't done yet with just subtitles and a rough montage of how much time would elapse between each line, and. it's 30 minutes long. less than I expected tbh, but probably more than I assumed letting myself fall in this project's uh. thralls.

I think its structure is imperfect right now, especially in terms of lore exposition, and the beginning might need to be fluffed up somehow? but I'm really happy about characters and tension! I think I managed to properly introduce all 6 characters and set up their respective conflict or Vibes fairly decently, even weaving thematic throughlines together and stuff! even put some fanservice in there that I think is kinda earned, even?? and my Original Characters Do Not Steal are pulling their own weight I think. Maddsen is pathetic, but maybe more sympathetic than he ever was in writing just... due to the sheer fact that we are not stuck in the PoV of someone who despises him? And Serielle is Fucking Weird, which is all I ever wanted <3 (weirdly enough she's almost the one that feels the most zelda-esque in the sort of twin peaks inspiration kind of registry? at least to me. I don't know if I'm just biased haha)

no matter where this project goes, this will at least be a decent attempt at something I think, even if the art is very imperfect and I'm still not sure what the hell to do with voice acting

[lesser-mook]

Deadpool & Pander-ine (and Logan) “less is more” *spoilers obviously*

I watched it twice in the same day and it is fun, same ol’ Ryan hammyness but it ain’t all that.

The movie is just No way home part 2, because we all know what that movie did right?

And how many people are talking about it now?

Same shit, different studio. Now its Fox. (Though No Way Home is still decent, recommended. Best MCU Spider-man movie because: Consequences. Not because cameos, but Peter had to grow up & finally become Spider-man)

Otherwise, Fanservice: The Movie

Just better Fanservice than Japan’s bullshit.

The plot of this Deadpool 3 is garbage only because it boiled down to (destroying timelines) which literally means nothing now and the villain was weak because her motivations make no sense.

They’re sent to the void, to go to the base then to escape, to roadtrip, to go right back to the same fucking base, then to some town, and that’s it.

Logan somehow gets through to baldy to let them go buuuut now she wants to make the void the only frontier left, multiversal genocide. Ooookay then, cause that’s now a thing.

We don’t even get to see what happened to her in the past. We’re told.

The best thing about it is Wolverine. And Deadpool is a lot more serious at times in this movie.

The film is actually pretty critical of Deadpool through Wolverine and it works but the film itself was just a hack pander piece.

Using Logans corpse like that in the beginning was beyond disrespectful and mind-numbing. And no, being self-aware of the problem doesn’t vindicate the problem.

Dancing and shit, while weaponizing bones, just what the actual fuck is the MCU anymore.

That “call out your own writing flaws, thus that makes continuing the flaws A-Ok”shit didn’t work for Horikoshi and it ain’t working for you, DP3.

Now when you watch the Logan film again, just know- THATS what happens to his remains years later.

MCU comes and literally beats a dead horse.

My biggest complaint, criticism:

X-23 was underused.

This character is the Cassandra Cain of Marvel Comics (possible inspiration of Cain 90s to 2003)

She should’ve had more of a bigger role helping Wolverine heal emotionally like Logan was present for her in their journey in the previous movie- a poetic role reversal, but she’s helping to heal his Callous exterior.

The dynamic between her Wade, & Logan would’ve been great.

Not some rushed campfire scene where he spills his guts to a kid he doesn’t even know.

It’s a good good scene, one of the better ones cause DP isn’t in it- but it reads like it was payoff to build up and development we never got to see between these two.

When she walked in the room, and they saw each other: You could feel it, Hugh & Dafne have a very subtle acting chemistry, and its better when you remember: Oh shit, this is a different Wolverine but Hugh worked with this same kid way back when, didn’t he? Yep. Same people, believe it or not.

So you naturally want everyone else in the room to fuck off and just hear these two talk.

Now if Laura was there a little earlier, in more of the film and they had more time together not only would everyone want to see that, but it’d make his change of heart on his part make more goddamn sense.

Because now he has an actual dynamic with this young lady, who in some respects is his kid.

Maybe even set up her getting her own suit, admiring his.

Just wasted potential, all the effort went into “REMEMBER THEM!?”

Nostalgia-Bombs over storytelling. Sloppy

Got Lady Deadpool in the mix, yaaay (said someone), but why are the DP’s dropping so easy and not healing while moving or fighting like they’re mercenaries with healing factors too, they’re not zombies.

I get thematic timing, but if Lady DP was one of the first to drop, why wasn’t she getting up first or faster? Lmfao.

Why doesn’t any of them have the teleport belt? Why doesn’t Wade have the belt yet!?

My favorite scene though is Wade & Logan going apeshit in the van, and thus Logans strength is soooooo much better represented in this movie than any of the others. And there have been plenty of good highlights in the Logan movie (X-24 is prime Logan so the feats are by proxy his own):

The way he manhandles Wade, tackles the van so hard the airbag deploys, he even slings the man through a solid wall- THAT’S Wolverine. Brute fucking strength.

That kind of strength behind unbreakable claws + the healing is why he’s a problem. Imagine that striking strength, it’s like a Car made of razor blades sideswiping you at 60 mph with every throw, and that’s lowballing.

Think about it, he’s got like 200–500 pounds + of metal on him, you know how strong he’s gotta be to carry that 24/7, even while swimming?

There’s a reason why he can give Hulk a little bit of a fight, Big Guy Hulk anyway “Dumb Hulk”. Green Scar? Not a contest. But Logan can hang with the best of them for a reason.

It got the little things right more than the bigger shit. They really lost me with that timeline destruction plot, please please please stop with the universe shit only If it boils down to “mwahaha me evil”

Did WE really forget why Thanos worked in the first place? less is more more.

Logan was a small scale film, very humble, with personal small scale stakes. 

That’s why it works, thats why its tense, that’s why it’s emotional: because there’s no multiverse, no timeline, no reality bullshit. Just personal stakes.

DP&W is more fun than Logan, but Logan is going to age better than Deadpool & Wolverine. As it’s aged very well even now.

It aged better than Endgame.

We’re really overlooking the importance of a stake being “personal” to a character.

Why do you think Phase 3 even worked in the first place? Because Phase 1–2 had personal stakes, small scale storytelling first (small enough, Thor was punching kind of high with it’s 3rd act but hey, it’s Thor).

Now, people seem to enjoy this, good. 

Nice to hear laughs than dead silence from collective regret that money was paid to see trash. Same with No Way Home.

I think we’ve had enough of preachy movies making people miserable: but at the same time we gotta trace back the formula to better storytelling, less predictable member-berry heavy gimmick plots- cause this just might become a branched genre of hammy exploitative movies, if all it takes is jangling keys.

Small scale stories are now underrated.

DUNE PART TWO crushes this easily in terms of writing, pacing, story, but this is one of the better films of 2024 tho. It’s a gimmick driven, fun ride, prioritizing the audience liking what they see and not making the audience like what the narrative wants them to see.

Wasted potential on many fronts, Laura should’ve been in so much more of this, hell she could’ve been the compass to guide them through the wastes to accomplish things with purpose instead of them aimlessly wandering from place to place. A more mature, realized Laura, give us some sit-rep on what happened to the other kids, remember those other kids? I still remember the eldest boy, Rictor; He was cool. I hink he was Avalanche’s kid.

All in all, the film is a one-trick pony, but it’s a fun ride.

[corvuscorona]

STATUS REPORT:

AFM sequel - had some fun w/ this one over the weekend. it's like:

[ ❚_❚__||||____|||❚||❚|❚|❚❚❚ ] ← it's this many done. p.s. why won't tumblr let me use red at all what ....... dude.

Long Thing - chunk 1 (small) and chunk 2 (medium-big) have a HEAVY-DUTY outline with almost no bullshit in it now. chunk 3 (BIG) might also have that; I just haven't actually manifested it into a document yet (ran out of sunday). chunk 4 (medium-big again) has the makings of Real Outlineability as well but it'll probably fight me more when I start actually trying to make it real. chunk 5 (medium?) is slowly orbiting closer and closer to me in my dreams. 6 (???) and 7 (small) are phantoms still; don't rush them. they're shy.

Highly E-Rated Thing - haven't worked on it because the 2 above projects are so Perfectly Balanced. it will choose its moment.

AFM chapter 5 - similarly it will choose its moment. for instance a moment when I am like way too full of beans & need something to put a lot of brain thoughts into.

I may not have anything specific to contribute to Jackstos June or most likely Jackstos July either but everyone else has been BRINGING IT so hey. *offers a gay little applause that pisses you off*.

next: I'm gonna talk to myself below the cut I'm thinking about THE PROCESS.

*elaborates on Long Fucking Thing some more because that's what I use like 3/4 of my brain for all the time now* it's interesting to see plot arcs shape up / to have a way to really consciously note "this part still might need This kind of thing," for reasons:

because both the story & the way I'm working on it are nonlinear, sometimes the note I'm making is "if you haven't established that Event A happened by this point, the scene that has to go here for thematic coherency reasons will not make. logical sense" (genuinely very funny thing to have to consider)

a LOT of the places where I currently have "uh think harder about this later" types of notes are like. have directly to do w/ Facts And Lore that are tangential to the story but critical to the worldbuilding (which REALLY makes them NOT tangential to the story. they're formative and important it's just that I have to Decide Them backwards to make sure they're forming the story elements in the direction I already want those to be going)

I'm realizing by thinking about the Process in this way that this is all very related to the Reasons the latter half of the fic is still pretty up in the air. It works like this okay bear with me:

I start with emotional beats I find compelling. Then I string together facts and events that make them important + create a compelling narrative arcs-and-themes-ways. Then I retroactively define the worldstate and LoreFacts based on "what would make this string of happenings happen in a way that isn't stupid". (I Am Currently Here). As the World Facts become more rigidly defined, I run into "things I should either address or change an existing Something to avoid addressing," and like this the places where there aren't currently things like "scenes" or "concrete events" gradually get filled in.

The concrete Things That Need To Happen in the final 3 chunks of this fic depend so heavily on the WORLDSTATE that it's been impossible to generate most of them up until now. I have to finish (~) defining Facts (based on the emotional beats I already know how I'll be covering in the first half of the story) before I can get my gay little fingers in there and start tying things into cute little bows. THIS MAKES A SHOCKING AMOUNT OF SENSE SOMEHOW I'M so used to writing smedium-length things where half the time I write the VERY end first because that's where ALL the emotional payoff lives.

NOT SO THIS TIME. THERE IS EMOTIONAL PAYOFF ALL OVER THE FIRST HALF OF THIS THING & it would probably be difficult and inadvisable to do a whole lot more with the second half before I make sure I know what shrimplications I'm shrimplying based on (checks my watch for some reason) like 3 entire Structural Plot Arcs of Gay BullShit. huh.

[theloopus]

Hi! I'm pretty new to the MASH fandom and I've only gotten through season 3 of the show so far (have to take a break after that finale) but I know the basics on like "beejhawk" and the 'die in your arms' and the 'bj goes to Maine' but what's with the timeloops i keep hearing about? As far as I know it's just a fanfic thing, but how did the concept of them get so popular in this fandom? I never though MASH of all fandoms would be the one with timeloop fics when the show is going for realism. I'm just so confused, so thank you if you're able to answer this!

hi!! god where to even begin with this... there's lowkey layers to it. i guess the basic thing it stems from is that, for all that MASH might be grounded in realism, the timeline of the show itself is a fucking mess. i guess you haven't really gotten to that so early in the show! but it starts to get real messy later. except it kind of... works, for this show in particular. it's not fanfiction exactly, i'd say it's more of a... theory, or more accurately a reading of canon.

for reference, the Korean War lasted three years, from 1950 to 1953. and yet there are late season episodes where they're somehow still in 1950, despite the fact that the first three seasons seem to take place over the course of at least a year (given that we see them in both winter and summer—and that's being generous and assuming all the different winter episodes scattered throughout those three seasons are all the same winter); and if BJ is already in Korea in 1950 how is Erin's 2nd birthday in 1953?; Potter arrives in 1952 but is also somehow present at the 1951's New Year's party; Trapper experiences events that won't happen until 1953; Potter's grandchild goes from being a newborn to being eight years old in the course of a couple seasons; and that's just some that i can recall off the top of my head

i mean, you can see how it might begin to get difficult for a show with 11 seasons to keep pretending the whole thing takes place in less than 3 years. not that they seem to have tried much. that's syndicated television for you baby!

but beyond the actual like... timeline and lore or whatever. the timeloop thing is also super relevant on a thematic level? metaphorical, even

the characters are all trapped, doing the same thing over and over and over and over and over again with no end goal in mind. periods of boredom where nothing happens, then wounded arrive, surgery that lasts so long they can't even tell day from night, how much time has passed, much less what day of the week it is, then send the soldiers back to the front, period of boredom, wounded, surgery, back to the front, boredom, wounded, surgery, front, boredom, wounded, surgery, front... it's endless, and they can't escape it, and they can't do anything to stop it, either. they're permanently stuck in repetition. and the characters call this out in the show! constantly!

HAWKEYE: Sorry, Margaret. The future's been cancelled by the war department. They're just gonna replay the past.

We're never getting out of here is the single most repeated sentiment in the entire show.

at the same time the warping of time also has to do with trauma. the idea of trauma as a disruption of linear temporality is nothing new, and it can definitely be applied to MASH as a narrative device. the characters are not experiencing time linearly because of the trauma and the repetition and the inevitability and the senselessness and the isolation, everything combined so that they exist in this state of temporal limbo, this bubble where the outside world might as well not exist—and the nonsensical nonlinear timeline makes us, the audience, feel that, experience time the way the characters do. the sense that something's off, that time is weird, that their reality is unreal and senseless and almost supernatural. not how it is in real life. distinctly different and haunted. does that make sense?

there's also something to be said about the nature of the sitcom as a genre and how it lends itself to weird temporalities due to the episodic format, how everything resets to the status quo at the end of the episode and things keep happening over and over. it's just that MASH in particular is not only a very particular case because of how it's based on a historical event (and therefore has set dates and periods and timelines) but also in how the characters are aware of and haunted by this repetition and sense of endlessness, and constantly call it out

time isn't real because they exist outside of it, in their little bubble where they're forced to do the same thing day after day. is that not a timeloop?

[haejjoon]

Hi I agree with the mako discussion I have always been neutral to her and this whole discussion articulated why. I feel like there's a big disconnect between the story concepts for p5 and the writers. I.e Ann's themes Vs her treatment in writing

Also I'm a local oc X canon shipper who likes to rewrite stories to insert my oc & Ur fic & blog is giving me inspiration for what I can do because I only recently started p5r after watching rtgame play it so I haven't digested & criticised details in full yet so hearing Ur thoughts really helps articulate vague impressions I've had!!!

That being said, I'm interested what u think of Sumi Because. I low-key don't like her (I DONT HATE HER but I don't love her beyond "she's cute")

Anyway that's all!!!! I love Ur au bye bye ✨

- oc anon

aw. hey anon!! thanks so much for dropping by :)) im glad the discussion helped somewhat

oh boy...... sumi. where do i begin.

i'll be clear from the start: i love fanon sumi. i think shes adorable, i love seeing her in fics, fanart, etc etc. and for the longest time i couldn't figure out why i loved her sm in fandom and hated her in canon? and then i realized:

sumi's character... has no clear purpose.

(sojiro voice) let me explain

each of the phantom thieves have a recurring theme of finding or rediscovering identity.

ryuji with track + his old teammates

ann with her stance on modeling

yusuke with his purpose for creating art (oh boy i also have a lot to say about Him)

makoto with her burnt out but not quite burnt out gifted kid syndrome

futaba with her purpose for living at all (ouch)

and haru with how she wants to define herself without her father's influence.

the only (ONLY) exceptions to this is akechi and the protagonist. akiren is the catalyst to aiding the others discover identity, and akechi already has his purpose in life so ingrained he doesn't need to (or doesn't bother) trying to grow as a person.

now... sumi.

she's first introduced as the brilliant gymnast honor student. over time, it's clear that she struggles with meeting others' (and even her own) expectations for herself.

if we follow the same formula for the other thieves, this would be when she'd start questioning why she does gymnastics at all, or who she does gymnastics for. instead, she double downs on her supposed love for the sport, and only spirals deeper and deeper when simple "hard work" doesn't pay off.

obviously we know why. she thinks she's her dead sister. but thematically, it just clashes with all the rest of the characters already presented, because the player now has no idea where her character's going with this. she suffers from the same thing makoto's character does: tons of payoff, no clear resolution.

by the end of the faith confidant she declares that she'll now be doing gymnastics as sumire, and not kasumi. that doesn't change the expectations stacked upon her to succeed. sumi never says, "it's okay if i don't succeed, because i'm doing my best." she says, "i'm going to succeed as sumire yoshizawa and not kasumi yoshizawa, and everyone will see me shine in my own way."

and don't get me wrong. it's a lovely conclusion on its own and i'm proud of her for it, but narratively it came so out of left field. there was no set up for that specific drive to succeed As Herself, because the entire set up thus far was that she just couldn't succeed at all. this is why the entire confidant felt so stilted to me.

and the reason for such a strange ending note is because of the twist itself. no one expected her to actually be her dead older sister. suddenly, sumi is a completely different person, and you're just supposed to roll with it through her confidant. there's just no time within the confidant itself for the player to digest it.

moving on from that though i just fucking hate how she's marketed. her entire palette is a copy and cut paste from joker's. her outfit is somehow worse than ann's--i get it, leotard for her gymnastic skills, but look up gymnastic leotards when you get the chance. there's no plunging necklines like her costume shows. her coat (again, carbon copy from joker's) is cut in the back in a way that no matter What You Do or How You Look at her, all you see is a flash of ass and thigh. the first thing you see of her the MOMENT YOU OPEN THE GAME is a slow pan up starting from her exposed crotch, for fuck's sake. fuck you atlus, she's fifteen.

also????? she's supposedly a gymnast, but she?? uses a ribbon??????? in her all out attack and in her final performance at the end of her confidant rank? is this just a localization issue? ribbon dancing and gymnastics are two very different sports???? someone explain??

she also pops up in thr story at the most random times, because the writing team over our beloved atlus couldn't figure out how to shoehorn her in to make her relevant to the main plot. why does she get the app in the first place, having nothing to do with the thieves as a whole? why does she awaken to a persona at all in maruki's palace, when all she does is vehemently deny who she really is?

dont argue with me on this, but the reason why she awakens to her persona SPECIFICALLY AT THAT POINT IN THE STORY at all... is so atlus could shove her into the opening cutscene where she "saves" joker. so the players could get hyped seeing her supple fifteen year old Pan Up From Crotch in the first five minutes of the game. joker didn't need saving. fuck off

and if you're gonna follow the rules already set in the p5 universe: how come she can use her persona so effectively in the first place? haru couldn't, even though she awakened. sumi definitely shouldn't be able to, given the whole... denying who she really is situation.

and lastly there's just some aspects of how she's depicted that rly irk me, but those are absolutely just my personal feelings. nothing inherently wrong with them, just annoying to me specifically:

- her over the top polite nature that only hinders her, but she doesn't abandon it to set straight boundaries with those being rude to her because she can't meet their expectation. even makoto told the principal to leave her alone that one time.

- the way she's so clearly shoved towards joker as the Canon Choice like makoto was in vanilla. p4 does this with rise, too, but it's far more bearable because of just how over the top she is with it, at least for me. i had a problem with yukari in p3 for much of the same reason as sumi.

- the fact that her outfit doesn't change after she accepts herself as sumire. i understand that it'd be a lot of work, but narratively, wouldn't it make more sense for it to change? akechi got two outfits (both ugly but i digress) for the two facets in his true self. if her thief outfit is a manifestation of her doubling down on her identity as kasumi, why doesn't it change? why is her hair, a clear indication of who she is as a person, still in a ponytail despite everything??? is she taking on kasumi's confidence in the metaverse?? it just isn't clear.

- her fucking magical girl transformation in her original awakening. sorry. it just wasn't necessary. again this is totally just a me thing but WOW it pissed me off so much first time i watched it, because what purpose was there to include that other than to make the player go "oooooooo shiny girl pretty girl near costume ooooooooo".

i think thats most of it. as a personality i adore sumi. it's why i love seeing her in art and fics. but as a Character made to drive a story's plot, there's so many holes i'm surprised the ship is still chugging along.

obligatory "this is my opinion im not forcing it onto you if you wanna dispute it with me go righr ahead, i love character analysis threads" here. jesus fuck this was long.

love you anon. muah <3

[tuckiozi]

I am going to talk about The Big Freeze by Laura Stevenson

(fuck it I'm posting this here too)

There is no other musical artist that means as much to me as Laura Stevenson does. This wasn't always the case, and my way of arriving there was real odd and roundabout in retrospect but I figure most things are in the end. In any case, there is no part of Laura Stevensons work that I do not unreservedly love. Everything she does seems to feel so uniquely and honestly itself, distinct in identity and yet recognizably the creations of the same artist. The honesty, or feeling of it, is a central part of that, and there are definitely some recurring characteristics of Laura's songwriting, but all in all every piece feels profoundly Itself.

The Big Freeze is my favorite album of all time. I think it is a singular accomplishment musically and belongs in the annals of history and it doesn't bring me great joy exactly that it really hasn't gotten much attention. I struggle with the concept of things being "deserved" in a lot of ways, yet here I feel it to the smallest roots of my heart that this album deserved more.

The Big Freeze feels like a miracle. Struggling to find a studio to record it in, some coincidences let to a producer she knew from a previous album having just shuttered his old studio and so having a bunch of equipment in storage still. Laura's mom's house was available as a space, and so they moved the equipment and recorded it there, in an old loud house. (Source: https://atwoodmagazine.com/lsbf-laura-stevenson-interview-big-freeze/). The fact that it's recorded in such an emotionally charged is, I think, an integral part of the fabric of this record. You wouldn't necessarily be able to tell, because this record sounds, incredible, but there is an emotional resonance to every piece of that album that I wonder if wouldn't have been quite there otherwise. (In the interview cited above Laura tells how she had to turn off the radiators at one point because you could hear them in the background of one song.) From these conditions emerged a genuine wonder and an absolute all-time album. This belongs on any list of top albums of all time. It is a triumph.

This album is also thematically and emotionally heavy. I sometimes think it might not be the easiest listening experience, because the songs flow so seamlessly together and they all carry such a weight it feels imposing. Treating themes of self-harm and self-worth and other equally raw matters in incredibly honest and powerful ways (See "Dermatillomania" for a potent demonstration) makes it not the easiest album to take a casual listen of. It's vulnerable, it's honest, it is simply itself, and this too reflects in the songwriting.

No Laura Stevenson album sounds the same. Sit Resists does not sound like A Record, Wheel does not sound like Cocksure. Still, The Big Freeze somehow stands out even more. There are traces of it earlier, in tracks like "Finish Piece" from Sit Resist and "Every Tense" from wheel, but The Big Freeze carries a sonic identity unlike anything else she's done before or since. Stripped back and unornamented compared to her previous efforts, the emotional core of the songs speak even stronger. (Shoutouts to the incredible and indispensable cello work throughout.)

I could waffle on for hours with thoughts on the history and feel of this album. However, I want to talk about the songs. I want to talk about why this album matters to me.

Track 1. Lay Back, Arms Out.

This track is transcendental. Goddamn luminous. There is a memory I have of sitting in a dark parking lot in the winter of 2020, seeing the starlit night sky above me, listening to this track. The opening seconds of this track to me feels like a starlit sky first blurred and indistinct, seeing only a small section of it, and then the vision unfolding to a clear sea of lights in crisp winter air. The opening second of this song haunts me in the best way anything could. The moment Laura's voice enters is absolutely spinechilling. This song is a potent showcase of one of my favorite things Laura does, which is writing songs that don't really obey traditional structure. There is no discernible chorus, no verse. I don't think any bit of repeats at all. It is an eye-opening, stunning piece of musical majesty that weaves its way through a tapestry of strange metaphors that feel obtuse yet instantly resonant.

I'm a broken record Come wriggle out from underneath me Tied around the middle Not incorrupt and rotting out When you lift the lid I will be liquid All swimming in my skin

This song is catharsis under a clear winter sky to me. A truth of my heart holds this song to be perfect. In the winter of 2020 I was in a real bad spot. I had just finished my masters degree with a barely passing grade, after years of work and fighting with the university about various parts of the work on it with ruinous effects on my mental health. I only got a passing grade after first getting it failed after a six month wait for the grading of it, having been given solid signals it would pass and a date for the graduation ceremony, only to last minute have it pulled and being told they needed to find a new person to grade it because someone had to pull out. I was living at home with my parents, trying desperately to find a job with my grades and niche field of work in the middle of a global pandemic. I had just had my most important friendship at the time collapse, damaging several other friendships as collateral damage. I was working a taxing physical job often long hours into the night, and if not that with a rising time of 5am in the morning. My selfworth was at rock bottom. But "Lay Back, Arms Out" found me in that parking lot. This album felt like a lifeline.

Track 2. Value Inn

I used to avoid this song in relistens. Not because I think it's bad, far from it, but because it feels so bleak. A Frank account of self-harm in a motel room, the pit of this song scares me. I've never done any physical self-harm, but I still felt afraid of this song for a good while. I don't anymore, and I appreciate it better now. The lyrics sketch vivid imagery, and the roar of the guitars transform the song into a very potent beast. Scary and bleak, it brushes up against feeling hopeless. But it doesn't. The abyss is fleeting.

And the waves crash down in the waterpark When the stakes are low there’s not much to control So let it heal with the fibers of my clothes Until I’m colorful, until I’m just so

Track 3. Living Room, NY

Longing is one of the closest-to-universal human emotions, I reckon. Be it longing for someone you miss, longing to have someone to be with at all, longing for a specific place, longing to find the place that is the one you will miss in the future, longing is persistent in the hearts of most.

That's what this songs speaks to for me. A longing for a person and place that feels like home. With whom and where you belong. If any song is the "breakout hit" of the album it seems to be this one, at least if SEO and view numbers are to be believed. In any case, in the time where I felt the most alone and abandoned I've ever done, there was something nice about this song and it's warm longing. The dream of being wanted and wanting to be was nice. There's a strange warmth to the slightly airy vocals and strings here. This song feels nice. Like a distant fireplace you will arrive at in not too long.

So I’ll fold the world to be there tonight 'Cause I want to fall asleep on your time

Track 4. Dermatillomania

This acid flush of shame Can only be man-made Its ugly roses bloom and wither when I look away

Hoo boy. Where to start on this one. Following on in a similar tradition from The Healthy One from Sit Resist, Dermatillomania is a nefariously catchy banger about some real dark subject matter. The hint is in the title. This song does not fuck around for even a minute. There is an explosive power in every word of it, diving head first into the titular disorder and the experience of it. The combination of intensely catchy and lyrics pulling no punches makes this one a fucking standout. There's bits of this song that feels like a confrontation with something toxic, like things bottled up being released; a "fuck you, I will become more than you". And I personally, I think, draw power from that.

I don't in all honesty feel fully qualified to speak on this song. For it's release, Laura herself wrote an essay on it. You should read that essay: https://www.talkhouse.com/on-dermatillomania/.

Track 5. Hum.

If being hit with a crossbolt could ever be tender, it would feel much like this song. This is my second favorite track on this album, beaten only by the opener. It's beautiful in it's very uncomplicated instrumentation, tailored to highlight the voice and the lyrics. Every note hits exactly where it should.

No lyric in this doesn't intensely hit some person experience of mine; something someone else has said or something I've felt about myself. This song feels to me like it rips my heart out of my chest lovingly, cradling it and exposing its many vulnerabilities and weaknesses before patching it up a little and putting it back in. For someone with wobbly self-esteem and strongly shifting feelings if self-worth, lines like You are only the burdens you set in your mind hit with the weight of a cast-iron sledgehammer. However, this song hits another part of me strongly too: the part of me that is afraid of being seen as a thing to be fixed and of becoming someone's emotional pet project. The part of me that is afraid of being too much emotional labour when I'm not magically fixed. There is a specific personal experience behind that, and this is fear that I'd always on the back of my mind. I have no answers to it, I just have to hope to not wear out my welcome. Being a person is terrifying.

Track 6. Rattle at Will.

I don't have a clear view of this one, thematically. I adore it, musically. The way it shifts and soars, Laura once again using her affinity for layered vocal to tremendous effect. At one point in this song her voice feels like it's hovering just into the stratosphere. It's breathtaking, carried by an incredible fading out of the other instrumentation. (Another technique Laura has used to great effect before in I See Dark, for instance)

This song feels like conflict to me. Confrontation, grinning and bearing it. Mistreatment and almost betrayal. Like I mentioned, my view on this one hasn't crystallized.

Needn't be careful with me love I'd say rattle at will, I've been drinking my milk And like trembling leaves right before the big freeze I was with you

Track 7. Hawks

This to me is a song of homesickness. It has the feeling of thinking back on memories of more carefree times with a dear friend, from the point of view of a time that is far too full of cares and worries.

This song is even sparser maybe in instrumentation than even Hum, but once again everything is used to great effect. Mostly carried by Laura's voice and some bass and guitar stings, the strings step in perfectly where making something feel just a bit more aching is needed.

Can we go back to the minute we'd skirt through the rain? Hanging, halting, suspended like hawks under planes Can we say it's unending and I'll say the same? Remind me when my mind, it starts to go

This song, then, feels like reaching out to friends from that memory, a reminder of unbroken bonds. And that's the homesickness to me. I live now in a small place. Even when I lived in a big city I struggled to find lasting friends. I always have, and I think possibly always will. Many of my friends as such from university or that I used to know from my hometown I no longer talk to, and lost touch with many years ago.

I've known my best friend since year 11 of schooling, where we got seated together in English class and became friends immediately. Since then, we have had times of less and more contact, we have lived most of this friendship in completely different places. We have taken very different life paths and are quite different in many ways. Yet, when I go home on holidays and vacations and we get to hang out, it's like we never stopped talking. It's a trust that remains regardless of time spent apart. To me, Hawks speaks to that. Of summers remembering and forging memories. Of friendships that hold.

Track 8. Big Deep

This, in an odd way, carries a feeling of affirmation; of finding yourself and sticking to it resolutely. That might be a pretty surface read of the lyrics, perhaps, but that's where it hits. As someone who tries to stick to being honest to myself, maybe sometime even for the worse, it speaks to that part of me.

There is a wonderful live performance of this they did on Audiotree, that does this very nice plucked cello in place of the main guitar line in spots and it is really satisfying to my brain. https://youtu.be/YjzMvifwZqQ

Mistake, mistake these terrible movements you make You wrapped your heels ’round all the chairs And you made me forget what I want, why I'm here And you made yourself loud and you made yourself clear

I think this song is phenomenally well paced out musically. There is drive to the backing melody, like a river gently pulling, and once again every bit comes together to highlight and accentuate Laura's incredible voice. It all manages to give every note the exact right emotional value and impact, and it is a wonder when it slides into its quiet bit, and then resolves into a finale. The word "transcendental" seems fitting.

(I want to include another live performance of this here cause I think it's really really worth listening to) https://youtu.be/B4-cx0knd6M

Track 9. Low Slow.

This is the vocal performance of century. Every single piece of the band is once again on point and the melody hits ideally, but the vocal run Laura goes on in this song is fucking unbelievable. I adore this and honestly it might rate the same as Hum. It is a showstopper. It is stunning.

But I'm already poison-leaden Line with finery the wire you walk The wire you walk

I see in this one thematically some of the same things I see in Big Deep. A commitment to the ones self and being that, even in the face of adversity or hostility.

Track 10. Perfect.

And so we come to the close. This song has a summer feel to me. The feel of sitting outside strumming nostalgic chords. There is such a profound beauty to this song; we emerge from all this darkness and tumult and heaviness to a song that kind of says that things will be alright. There's a light at the end of the tunnel. This song is calm and steady and reminiscing. It feels like home. It feels like rest. It's a perfect end to the album.

Don't you let your light filter in, I'll be alright By myself tonight

In closing

So that's it. Some thousands words on my favourite album of all time. Mostly unedited and stream of consciousness, and I'm sure I could say much much more, but I needed to say this now. It's not great writing, but I wanted it said. Please listen to this album. Please tell me how you feel about it.

The Big Freeze is available to purchase on Bandcamp, and likely available on your streaming service of choice. You can also go to laurastevenson.net.

Listen to Laura Stevenson.